#remus is just not having a good time is he in these micro fics

[padfootastic]

Day 30 - Trust

written for @prongsfoot-microfic (angst!!!! reader beware!!! lil bit o’ death going on!!!)

“I trusted you.”

Remus’ heart breaks right in half at the past tense.

Trusted.

Such a small difference, but oh, how it changes things. How it changes everything.

“James—“

“No.”

“But—“

“Remus,” James’ voice is simmering with rage and it’s unlike anything Remus has even seen from him. Of them all, he’s the mildest, the most even-tempered, quickest to bounce back. He’s never been one to…stew in his anger but now that he has, Remus doesn’t know where to go from here. What to do.

“I. Trusted. You.” James’ enunciated every word with painful clarity, digging the knife in deeper with each turn. “I thought, if I wasn’t there, then at least you would be to take care of Sirius. If not for him, then for me.”

“I tried, God, I swear I tried, Prongs—“ Remus begs, hands clasped in front of him as if praying. (Not entirely far from the reality—James was their deity, was he not? The centre of their universe, the source of their absolution)

“Don’t you dare lie to me, Remus, you’re already on thin fucking ice.” One shaking finger rises to poke him on the chest. It doesn’t hurt, he can barely feel it through his jumper but it pushes him back nonetheless, almost stumbling into the corner chair behind him. “I know you didn’t try.”

“I did—“ He tries again, though he’s coming to realise it’s futile. For James Potter, there’s no bigger crime than abandoning Sirius. It’s why he has a grudge against the entire Black family and now Remus is on the same list, with the dubious distinction of taking top spot.

“Ask me how I know?”

He stay silent, knowing he wouldn’t like the answer. But this is James Potter they’re talking about. He never gives up.

“Ask me how I fucking know, Remus.” James’ voice reverberates around the entire room, the echoes of his shout ringing in Remus’ ears. The only sound cutting across the deafening silence is heavy panting. Until Remus breaks it.

“How do you know?” His voice, in sharp contrast, is small, timid.

“Because he wouldn’t be dead right now if you did.”

Remus’ neck almost snaps clean in half at how quickly he looked up, both from what James just said and the utterly broken tone in which he did.

“Dead—?” he whispered, unable to believe what he’s hearing. There’s no way Sirius is—No. Just. It’s not possible.

James doesn’t give any more information, doesn’t say anything for a few minutes where they’re both staring—Remus at James, and James into nothingness. He’s never seen such a look of abject despair on anyone’s face, let alone his best friend, and it makes him wonder. How will James ever recover from this? Will he even?

“Do you know, Remus,” James says then, a jagged, sharp smile growing on his lips. It’s humourless, it’s empty, it’s spine-chilling. “Coming from back from the dead after a dozen years to find out your Sirius is locked up and dying, and then to see him take his last breath in front of you? I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.”

Remus gulps, because he can sense this isn’t the end, there’s more to come and when it does—that’s it. It’ll sever any ties they might’ve had between them at some point, will cut them off entirely.

“But you.” James finally looks at Remus. His eyes are red rimmed but hard as ice, lips twisted into an ugly sneer. “I wish you’d feel even a fraction of what I’m feeling right now. Maybe you’d realise what you did then.”

[mooonage-daydreamer]

hey guys! this is my first ever micro-fic for the marauders! i hope it’s ok xx

marauders playing monopoly- 705 words - hope u enjoy!

It was already 11 p.m; how is it possible for a monopoly game to last this long? Remus thought to himself. Mary had fallen asleep on Lily’s shoulder, Remus was reading his book, and James looked as though he was on the verge of tears; it was just Sirius and Marlene shouting at each other. Remus was certain no one had any idea what they were arguing over at this point, but none of them really cared; they all wanted the game to just finish already. Finally, the arguing died down, but then Lily nudged him to draw his attention from his book and let him know it was his turn. Why did he agree to ever play in the first place?

“Remind me to never play monopoly with Sirius and Marlene again," he asked Lily. She looked just as fed up as he was and sighed in agreement. He took his turn, and unfortunately, he landed on Sirius’ property.

“HA!” Sirius exclaimed, “That will be 200 quid, thank you very much, my dear Moony!”

“I’ve ran out of money," replied Remus. He hadn’t really; he just didn’t have the energy to play anymore.

“WHAT!” replied Sirius angrily. “THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET PAYED?"

“Padfoot! Calm down!” James said.

“BUT HE NEEDS TO PAY ME! HE LANDED ON MY PROPERTY, SO HE MUST PAY ME! THATS HOW THE GAME WORKS!” argued Sirius.

“That wasn’t the rule five minutes ago when you landed on my property," Marlene retorted quietly.

“Look,” James replied, “why don’t we just call it quits for tonight? We’re all tired, and we want to go to bed.”

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement except Sirius and Marlene, of course.

“THATS NOT FAIR THOUGH!” they shouted in unison. They glanced at each other, then back at James.

“If you two are so desperate to win,” interrupted Remus, “why don’t you two just carry on?”

For the first time in that long evening, everyone agreed, even Sirius and Marlene.

“Fine.” Marlene said while glaring at Sirius.

They all knew it was a bad idea to leave the two most competitive people alone while playing a board game, but they were all too tired to care. Peter, James, Remus, Lily, and Mary all headed upstairs to go to bed, but only minutes later they heard more shouting.

"NO, YOU DONT DESERVE MY MONEY!” screamed Marlene.

"THAT IS NOT HOW THE GAME WORKS!” screeched Sirius.

"WELL, THE RULES ARE ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT! WHY SHOULD I GIVE MY HARD-EARNED MONEY TO A CRIMINAL?” Marlene shrieked.

“ITS NOT MY FAULT IM IN JAIL!” yelled Sirius.

“Ok, rock, paper, scissor, who goes down to sort this out as they clearly can’t sort it out themselves?" suggested Remus.

“Good idea,” Lily responded, “rock, paper, scissors shoot!”

“For fuck sake,” Remus complained, “it was my idea; why do I have to do it?"

“Remus, please,” Peter said, “we don’t give a shit what you do, just sort it.”

"Ugh, fine,” he replied. So Remus made his way down the stairs, but just as soon as he reached the bottom, Sirius bombarded him with questions.

“MOONY! "DON'T YOU AGREE WITH ME?" he asked. “RULES ARE RULES RIGHT?”

Remus just ignored him and slowly started walking over to the monopoly board. Once he reached the board, he looked them both in the eye and just flipped the board upside down. “There”, he thought, the game was finished.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Sirius and Marlene screamed at him.

Ignoring them, Remus began making his way back up the stairs to join the others. Peter looked at him with genuine fear in his face. “Moony, what have you done?" he asked.

“We all wanted the game to end, right?” he said. There were murmurs of agreement.

“So I just did the simplest thing and flipped the board over.”

"Oh, Moony, mate, you’re absolutely fucked.”

James told him.

“I mean, someone had to do it,” Mary responded while yawning. “Does this mean we can go to bed now?”

“Yes,” Lily said almost immediately, “come on.”

It was almost 1 a.m. when the screaming finally died down. Remus assumed they had fallen asleep while arguing. ‘I’m chucking that board game out when I wake up tomorrow’, Remus thought to himself

[tealeavesandtrash]

Wolfstar Micro Fic - @taylorswiftmicrofic prompt: Butterflies - @wolfstarmicrofic prompt: Map - 474 words

“You know there’s a bet going about you two?” Pete had informed him a couple of weeks ago. “If one of you doesn’t say something by the end of the month I lose.”

“Isn’t that insider trading?” Remus mutters, moves his knight. “And there’s nothing to say anyway.”

"I never said who it was about," Pete says, taking Remus’ knight with his bishop and putting him in check. “I have to join five AM Quidditch practice if James wins and you know he’ll end up waking the entire dorm. I’m doing you a favour.”

*~*~*

Lily had pushed him a few days later. “I swear to god, Remus,” she muttered over their study session last week, just after Sirius had reluctantly peeled himself from Remus’ side to meet James. “One of you needs to hurry up and pull your head out of your ass.”

Remus stares pointedly at his charms notes, ignoring Lily’s exasperated sigh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

*~*~*

But what pushes him over the edge is a trip to Madam Pomfrey. “Sirius not with you today, dear?” she'd asked innocently while preparing a pain potion because his knee's playing up again.

Remus gives a small shrug, “He doesn't have to come with me.”

“I know, but you know how he worries,” she says simply, glancing over her shoulder to smile softly at him. “He cares about you a lot.”

He isn’t sure why that was the last straw. Maybe because he values Poppy’s judgement more than most. Or maybe because he knows she doesn’t have some ulterior motive. And if even she is picking up on something, then maybe his little crush isn't as unrequited as he thought.

*~*~*

The issue is that Sirius is such a sociable creature. Remus has been studying the map periodically and in the past three days, there hasn’t been a moment when Remus has been able to get Sirius alone. 

That is until now. For the first time since he decided to take a chance on this, Sirius’ name is hovering alone on the map.

Adrenaline kicking in, he shoves the map into his robes, takes a deep breath to steady himself but it does nothing to quash the butterflies in his stomach.

James’ gaze flickers up from the essay he’s working on. “Where’re you off to in such a hurry?”

Remus tries to give a casual shrug. “Nowhere. Just need to ask Pads about some homework stuff.”

“Homework stuff?” James repeats. “That’s what they’re calling it these days?”

“Shuddup,” he mutters, face flushing as grabs his wand from where it lies idly on the bed.

“Good luck with the homework stuff!” James' voice calls as the door slams shut behind Remus.

Map clutched tightly in his hands, Remus follows the path to Sirius, prays no one intercepts them on the way. It’s now or never.

[lulublack90]

About Me

Hi there, Lulu here.

I do have a real name but I prefer to go by Lulu on here and Ao3 so please use that.

I go by she/he/they. Call me what you want I don't mind. It changes day by day for me in the real world, but my friends and family don't know that.

I'm pansexual but again only a few people know that.

I'm in my 30's but have the maturity of a teenager unless I'm in parent mode when I have to pretend to be a grown-up (It does not last long!).

I am a huge huge huge Harry Potter fan (Fuck JK, she's a dick!) My house is full of so many HP-related items. In fact, I think every room has something in it, thank the gods my husband is also a massive nerd.

In case you can't tell I am Neurospicy. I am in the middle of getting diagnosed with ADHD and by that I mean I am procrastinating actually starting the process.

Now where was I?

Oh, yeah I like so much stuff I can't think what else to put here but yeah Harry Potter, mainly Marauders era but I love anything really.

My fav ships are Wolfstar (I've loved them since I was a young thing and didn't even know it was a thing." Jegulus (My new love.) Dramione (Lord have mercy) Drary (Lord I need more mercy) Pandalily (Meep!) Dorlene (Squeek!) I like Marylily as well but not as much, but I love them when I read them.

My asks are open and you can send me whatever you want, no hate please no one needs that in their life and Tumblr is my happy place don't spoil it.

Things that make me happy

You guys. Honesty it's Tumblr, I've only just really found this and all you amazing people who like my silly stories that I've only been writing regularly since December 23 when I found you all. My husband and son make me happy and so do my dogs and cats. I love watching storms and autumn. I read a lot, I crochet, I knit, I write. I am a huge fan of chocolate. If you give me chocolate I will be your friend.

Music

Bowie. Nuff said.

But yeah I like a lot of different stuff, it depends on my mood as to what I listen to. I drive my husband mad because I like songs by lots of people but I can't remember what they're called or who they're by.

Books

My all-time favourite book will always be Prisoner of Azkaban. It is my happy place.

My house is full and I mean full of books. I don't actually know how many I have but last time I estimated I had 300 in my bedroom alone. (There are piles of books in every room 😬)

ACOTAR!!!

Shows/movies

Harry Potter, The Martain, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Hunger games, Twilight (Don't judge me they got me through a dark time.), How to train your Dragon, Disney anything, plus others there are so many and I'm bored of listing.

Good Omens, Schitts Creek, Parks and Rec, Bake off, Handmaids tale, It's always sunny, community, Harbin hotel, archer, vampire diaries. Plus more but yeah typing.

Okay I think I'm done but who knows I might add more if I remember.

Love you all

Lulu

xxx

My Ao3 List

These are my fanfics on my ao3

Bitten M- Remus, Sirius and James head to the forest for a fun full moon. Everything is going great until one of them has an accident. (This was the very first fanfic I wrote. It's okay.) Wolfstar. Complete.

The Prisoner T- Sirius Black has been wrongly imprisoned for 12 years. He's bided his time but now its time to escape and right the wrongs of the past.

The Prisoner of Azkaban as told by Sirius Black, filling in the gaps starting with his escape from Azkaban. Wolfstar. Complete.

The Cupboard E- Hiding from Filch and awaiting rescue things get a bit close in the cupboard between Remus and Sirius. Wolfstar smut one shot. Complete.

Birthday E(I think, I'm not good at telling) Sirius finds Remus alone in their dorm room instead of enjoying the party downstairs. Wolfstar. Complete.

The One That Got Away E- James agrees to throw a party at his house. Sirius asks to bring his little brother, how could that possibly affect James at all? Based on the micro fic series I wrote in January. Jegulus. Backcould Wolfstar. Complete.

Jegulus Prompt Series All the prompts I've written on here in one place.

Wolfstar Prompt Series All the prompts I've written on here in one place.

The Way They Were T - While Harry is clearning out Grimmauld Place he discovers that Wolfstar were a thing.

Love Hate and the Ability to Change M - Sirius is taking Remus to the hosital wing on the full moon and Regulus catches them kisses. After some rather nasty words Regulus tells Sirius something about himself.

The Way They Are M - Part two of The Way They Were. Harry and Draco spend more time together and Draco finds another box for Harry, this time from Remus.

[accio-sriracha]

"It was never not you."

A Wolfstar micro-fic

~~~♤~~~

And there Sirius was: his clothes and hair dripping from the rain, his eyes wide and his hands curled tightly into fists.

He was shaking, Remus couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from the fear. Probably both.

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered again, "You don't have to accept it. I know I haven't given you very many reasons to. But I am. I swear I am. These last twelve years have been torture for me, Moons. I'm sorry I let you down. I don't expect you to forgive me or to let me make it up to you, but I hope you'll give me the chance to try."

Remus stayed silent.

He wanted to tell him everything, wanted to confess that a life without Sirius was never a life at all. He wanted to tell him that it didn't matter how long he needed to wait, he would always wait, he would wait for Sirius until the end of time if he needed to.

Remus knew Sirius wanted an answer. He wanted to know if Remus could ever be friends with him again.

But it was more than that. Remus didn't want to go back to the way things were, to the nervous touches and shy silence. He wanted more, he wanted everything. If he had to endure more time without Sirius than he'd ever spent with him then he didn't want to waste another moment.

But how could Remus explain the emotions swirling inside of him?

How could he explain that his love of anything in this bleak, dull world came from his love of this man?

How could he explain that he started smoking again just to keep the panic attacks at bay? That if he closed his eyes it was almost like they were kids again, young with nothing to lose but each other, sharing a cigarette under the light of the half moon.

How could he explain the weight he had lost? He'd spent years timing his meals with Sirius' to make sure he was actually eating, and once that was gone he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it anymore.

How could he explain that he couldn't manage to step foot in the library or the three broomsticks again, knowing he would scan the tables for his old best friends?

How could he explain that he still searched for Sirius in the strangers passing by? He searched for shining silver eyes and jet black hair, for muggle rock band shirts and the glint of the white gold in his jewelery.

How could he explain the pain in hearing Sirius' name whispered by people around him? The pain in reading about him in the papers.

And how was he to explain the nightmares that had consumed him? When he woke every morning for the better half of a decade with Sirius' name falling from his lips, the memory of his touch like ghosts on his skin.

Would Sirius understand the desperation crawling up inside of him? Would he understand this hunger, this need to have him close and never let him go again?

But even if he knew how to say all of this, he knew he couldn't get the words out. Staring at Sirius, seeing his emotions so raw and his heart laid out for Remus, it was too much.

So he did the only thing he could think of

He leaned forward... and kissed him.

Sirius didn't startle the way he'd expected him to. He didn't jump, didn't shy away or stand confused and still.

He kissed him back.

And there was that desperation Remus had felt for nearly twenty two years, since the moment he first laid eyes on Sirius.

It was gripping clothes and tears mixed with raindrops and oh so utterly perfect.

"I love you." Remus whispered, he knew he should have waited, but they'd done their waiting hadn't they? "I love you, Sirius. I love you so fucking much."

He kissed him again, relishing in the mumbled 'I love you too' against his lips.

And in that moment, in this rain, he knew he would never feel anything as strongly as he did now. A love to overpower the twelve years of grief and regret and betrayal. A love to make him whole again.

"I'm never letting you go." Remus told him as they lay together later that night, Sirius tucked safely in his arms.

"Good, because I think I'd die if you did." Sirius whispered back.

"How long have you known?" Remus tucked a strand of hair behind Sirius' ear, "That it was me you loved."

Sirius smiled, a bright smile that made Remus' chest tighten,

"Moony... it was never not you."

~~~♤~~~

[chiechie97]

What's in a secret?

Week three micro fic for @jilymicrofics

Prompt: Secret

______________________________________________________________

"I know something you don't know." Sirius sang, head propped up on his hands as he starred at her from across the table.

Lily looked up from her book, eyebrow arched and curiosity peaked. Entertaining Sirius and his annoying attempts to bother her were not on her list of things to do during her study hour, but he was unfortunatly very good at distracting her.

It wasn't entirely by choice that she was spending her afternoon with Sirius Black. He was the only other person who had this period free as well, and he was the best company on offer aside from Mulciber.

"And I know lot's of things you don't know." She shot back, reaching for the potions essay they had just recieved back. She got top marks, he had barley scraped an Acceptable.

"You're no fun Evans."

He was still grinning at her like a dog that had finally caught the cat.

"And you're a bad study partner."

"I'm an ENTERTAINING study partner."

Lily scoffed, shaking her head before turning back to her book. She did not have time for his antics.

"Are you sure you sure you don't want to know?"

"Yes. Very sure."

"Even if it has to do with our favourite, spec faced chaser?"

She tried to quickly school her face into a passive, uncarring expression but it must have not worked, because he began laughing.

"Gotcha."

Lily slammed her book down on the table, eyes narrowed. "What are you playing at Black."

"Nothing, Evans." The smile he was giving her was positivley cheeky.

"Just thought you might be interested in hearing who Potter is planning to ask to Hogsmede this weekend."

It felt like he'd thrown a bucket of ice water in her face, but she did her best to keep her composure. Lily Evans was not supposed to care about who James Potter was inviting to Hogsmede.

"Why would I be interested in that?"

He gave her a look that clearly said 'you're a shit lier'.

"Come on Evans, don't tell me you're not curios about who he's asking."

"Who Potter is asking to Hogsmede this weekend is not some sort of salacious secret." She snapped, picking up her book and doing her best to pretend like she didn't care about who James was asking.

"And you don't care at all?"

"Not one bit."

"Even though he practically begged me and Remus not to say anything to you specifically?"

That made her heart stop for a moment, but she continued trying to ignore him. If James thought his dating life should be kept sercret from her, then whatever. She did NOT care. Not one tinsy bit.

"Leave me alone Black."

Sirius looked frustrated now, fingers drumming on the table before he stood up from where he was sitting. Shoving his books back into his bag he shook his head, muttering under his breath. "You two are bloody impossible."

It wasn't until he'd left the great hall did Lily slam her head down on the table and let out a frustrated groan.

She wished he'd just kept the damn secret.

[mccallw]

wolfstar micro fic January 05 & 06 - queen & bond

Oh, Remus is so fucked. So, so fucked.

What was he thinking, inviting Sirius to a Queen concert? That it’d be a great opportunity to bond? I mean– sure, but not when Sirius shows up with a crop top, eyeliner and starry eyes.

He hasn’t been able to focus on the concert at all. Just Sirius. On how excited he is, his radiant smile, the way he sings every song at the top of his lungs, the way he dances, grabbing Remus hands and making him dance with him and laughing, loud and jovious, the way the heat has made him put his long hair in a bun, how the sweat has made little hairs stick to his forehead, everything, everything Sirius.

This might be the one and only time Remus watches Queen live, and he can only stare at this lovely boy he invited with him to this concert. Who would’ve thought, that someone he met randomly one day at a coffee shop, would invoke such intense feelings on him, so suddenly?

He’s doomed but he does not care, not when ‘Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy’ starts playing, and Sirius gasps and sings looking at him, eyes bright and locked on him.

He definitely does not care when he pulls Sirius by his wrists and cups his face with both of his hands, thumb stroking red-tinted, warm, soft, cute cheeks. He feels Sirius breath hitch, but their eyes never leave each other. It’s a silent question, and even with the loud music blasting through the arena and the loud screams of the crowd ringing in their ears, nothing else matters but this moment.

A silent question that Sirius answers by tilting his head just slightly up, nudging his nose with Remus’ and closing his eyes delicately. A small, hot, breathy “yes” is whispered against his lips and Remus does not care, and so he closes the gap between them.

It’s a sweet kiss. Short, slow, sweaty, innocent. It’s lovely. It’s probably the one and only time Remus will be at a Queen concert, and he does not care that he hasn't paid any mind to it.

All there is, is Sirius.

--

@wolfstarmicrofic

--

yesterday i didn't have time to write, so i merged the prompt from yesterday with the one for today to make up for it :)

[autumnsup]

Prompt: Affection

For @wolfstarmicrofic

Hopeless: Part the Second

This is a follow-up "micro" fic to Hopeless (as prompted by Devotion). A part three is also on the way, although I don't know exactly which prompt to match it to just yet, as it seems to have taken on a life of its own... This one could just as easily have gone with Lust or Admirer as a prompt, but I couldn't wait to post it, so here we go. CW for terrible poetry. :D

“HERE he comes now, say Moony, Moony.”

Remus, creaking down the stairs after another mostly sleepless night of study, paused in confusion. It was early yet, and there weren’t any students about, at least not in the Gryffindor Common Room.

“Well, SHOOT 'em down, turn around, come home, oh yeah,” went the voice, and this time Remus could hear music and handclaps pulsing rhythmically in the background. Which led him to the horrific realization that the portrait of Yorick the Dolorous was actually singing at him.

“Um, excuse me,” he tried, but Yorick, with an uncharacteristic wink, wouldn’t be deterred.

“IF he gives me love then I’ll feel alright now,” was the next line to come out of Yorick’s mouth, but it was the part that followed that really took the cake for Remus. 

“You got me tossin', turnin' in the MID-dle of the night, and I FEEL alright,” and just like that, Yorick’s voice had doubled, tripled – nay, sextupled – into a call and response of “Yeahs” that attained higher levels of velocity and verve with every repetition.

“What the fuck?” said McKinnon, who’d just walked into the Common Room in a mustard yellow bathrobe with her sandy-blond hair piled messily atop her head. “Why are all the portraits singing like a gospel choir?”

Remus, beyond speech, stared around at the walls, while Yorick and company barreled on through a rousing chorus. Every line seemed to end in “Moony Moony,” which led him to think that one of the Marauders had to be behind it. “James,” he said aloud. “I’ll bet he knows.”

But when he retreated back upstairs to the quiet of the sixth-year boys’ dormitory, James was nowhere to be found, nor was Sirius. Peter was there, but he was fast asleep and snoring lightly, and Remus didn’t have the heart to shake him awake.

He took his sweet time with getting dressed, dreading the thought of returning to the Wembley that was the Common Room, but when he finally made his way back down the stairs, he was relieved that the music seemed to have been reduced from a full-throated stadium volume to a hushed acapellic hum. “Sorry,” said McKinnon, tucking her wand into her sleeve. “It was the only thing I could think of that worked.”

“Thank you,” said Remus, and they exited the Gryffindor Tower together, McKinnon heading right toward the prefect’s bathroom while Remus headed in the direction of the Great Hall for breakfast.

He was hungry, and his stomach rumbled in anticipation as he navigated the hallways and staircases at a brisk pace. It wasn’t until he entered the Great Hall that the singing resumed, and this time, there were even more portraits involved. “Well, you make me feel. So. Good. Yeah…”

Each word was punctuated by an uproarious reiteration of his secret Marauder name, and Remus could feel his cheeks burning as he walked down the center aisle toward the Gryffindor table. From the murmuring of the students who had already trickled in, it sounded like no one associated with song with him in particular, but it didn’t make him feel much better as he settled into his usual place and began to assemble his plate of breakfast foods.

“So good… Alright… Come on… Alright, baby… I say yeah…”

So intent was he upon buttering his toast, with ears aflame, Remus almost missed James’ entrance, until Meadowes nudged him in the ribs. “Merlin’s satin knickers. Looks like someone slept worse than me and Marls last night.”

Catching James’ eye, he saw indeed more shadows than usual cast across his face, although it might’ve just been from not shaving. This in itself was unusual enough however that Remus felt compelled to stand up and approach him before he’d even had a chance to sit.

“Was it you?” he asked sotto voce, glancing around at the four walls of portraits that were still singing their hearts out. “Or do I have Padfoot to blame for this… tomfoolery?”

James gave him a “Who, me?” sort of look, and Remus had started to wonder if he’d gotten the wrong end of the stick entirely when they were both distracted by the arrival of a very large owl. 

It was one of the school owls, on the elderly side like the majority of them were, and the dainty envelope it carried in its claws was almost comical by contrast. “Um,” said Remus, blinking. “Is that for me?”

With a sound that said “couldn’t-care-less,” the owl deposited the envelope next to his plate of sausages and toast and flew away, leaving Remus more puzzled than ever.

“Open it, mate,” said James, seating himself across from Remus. “I know next to nothing about it, but something tells me that whatever’s in the envelope might give you some answers.”

Biting back a huff of irritation, Remus ran his wand along the edge of the envelope to split it open. Inside, there was a piece of parchment folded into fourths, so that it formed a card of sorts, and Remus opened it with trepidation.

Greetings, my dear Moony, I hope this finds you well… The feelings that I’ve kept inside burn more than I can tell. Every time I think of you, my heart like music swells, Yet somehow I’ve resorted to T. James and the Shondells. I’d like to sing it out, except I know you won’t be fussed At being serenaded thus in public –  how unjust! I hesitate to scare you with my furtive thoughts of lust, But the time has finally come for me to truly earn your trust. Meet me tonight at the Astronomy Tower, Threescore minutes before the midnight hour. All will be revealed, or nothing at all, Depending on you, dear Moony… it’s your call.

Mystified, and more than a little intrigued, Remus looked at the front of the parchment again, and saw that a sketch of a tower with a moon and star hovering over it, with a heart topped by a question mark between, had magically appeared. “Good grief,” he said, and James gave a low chuckle.

“Going to be OK there, Moony?”

“Please don’t call me that in public,” said Remus, glancing over at Meadowes, but she appeared to be absorbed in conversation. “Last thing I need is for people to link all this hullaballoo back to me.” He frowned back down at the message. “How did this person even know my nickname? I thought it was only us Marauders who knew.”

“It’s possible they overheard it once and liked it so much, they decided to use it on you,” said James, with a nonchalant shrug. “So what does the letter – er, card – say?”

“None of your business,” said Remus, flushing. “All you need to know is that I apparently have a secret admirer.” He sighed heavily and read over the words again, shaking his head at how awful the poetry was. The script was nice though, flowing and evenly spaced with the occasional well-placed flourish, which pleased the part of his brain that most craved order and symmetry. 

Based on that one little detail, he could feel his interest piqued, and it strengthened his resolve to find out more about this person, despite his better judgment. “Threescore minutes before the midnight hour,” he murmured. “Couldn’t they just have said eleven o’clock?”

“Ah, but it adds to the mystery,” said James, smiling broadly. “Tell me that you’re not at least a little bit curious about who might be willing to go this far for you. “

Remus couldn’t help smiling back, even if it was a wobbly one. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

James gave him an encouraging squeeze to the shoulder, then reached for the strawberry jam and spread it liberally on his toast. “That’s the spirit. I always knew there must be a squishy romantic heart beating underneath that world-weary guise of yours, just waiting to shower someone with affection. Who knows, maybe you’ll even discover that you’re soulmates.”

Remus swallowed. “I guess I’ll find out tonight.”

The lyrics, in case you haven't guessed it yet, are adapted from "Mony, Mony," as sung by Tommy James and the Shondells. There are many covers of this song, including a spicier version by Billy Idol, but I decided to go with the original version. :)

[itty-bitty-writes]

Bitty's WIPs

(posted stories masterpost)

Surrounded by His Loved One - Chapter 2: Copulation (Shrinky Sanders Sides Smut Series, aka 5S)

summary:

Remus is up Virgil's butt, and Virgil and Logan are heading to Logan's room to… copulate.

status: intro written. vague ideas for what's after that

Prinxiety cock vore [actual title pending] (5S)

summary:

Remus told Roman that Virgil enjoyed their shrinky sex, and now Roman's got a similar proposition for Virgil

(from a prompt)

status: probably half written

LAMP cock vore + sex [actual title pending] (5S)

summary:

Virgil liked Roman in his dick so much that this time he gets to cock vore two boyfriends. And then fuck Patton with them inside.

(from a prompt)

status: outlined

Dark Sides in Balls (5S)

summary:

Remus cock vored the other two dark sides, and then… forgot.

Oops

status: outlined

I Know You Know I'm Here (5S)

summary:

Janus totally didn't see Remus, shrunken and naked, on the bed. Totally. It's absolutely a complete coincidence that Janus, also naked, sat down directly on top of him. Unfortunate positioning, is all.

(pretend unaware)

(Remus is having the time of his life)

status: concept exists. Intro written

Ritual Sacrifice (5S)

summary:

The dragon witch (Janus, wearing cloth wings) has demanded a sacrifice. The unfortunate Roman has been chosen by lot, and now Logan and Virgil must tie him to a tree (Patton's dick) for the dragon witch to claim.

or

The sides do a fun little roleplay

(Janus has a vagina in this one)

status: outlined

A Game of Cock Vore (Sizeshifter Trio)

summary:

Elliott is often the voice of reason and impulse control for the trio.

This fic does not involve Elliott.

status: opening written

Awkward First Time

summary:

A gt couple decide to try sex for the first time. They're not sure what they're doing, but they find a way to make it good for both of them.

status: outlined, opening written

Insomnia (Josh's Tiny Harem)

summary:

Josh can't sleep. His solution? shove a tiny in his pants, see if that helps

status: barely started

Forgotten Tiny Third

summary:

A couple have been trying out various kinks to see how much they like them, and are trying micro/macro.

They forget there's a tiny involved.

status: outlined

Dick Apartments

summary:

So it turns out that the reason the rent is so low for Gus's new apartment is that the building doubles as a giant dildo.

He really should have read the lease document more thoroughly.

status: barely started

Surprise! Shrunken and Trapped - Part 2 (Poll Story)

summary:

Simon has unexpectedly shrunk, and somehow ended up in an unaware giant's underwear, just before he put it on!

~

Simon's stuck under the giant's junk, and he's causing an unfortunate itch.

status: about a paragraph written

Tournament

summary:

Several contestants in a large maze, each equipped with a device which will shrink someone to only a few inches tall.

The last person full sized wins.

Everyone else gets fucked.

status: outlined

[nikarie5]

No nap for Cap - snippet

Based on the line “He’s also really bad at taking his pre-game nap.” from @lumosinlove team rosters. Rating: General audience, reference to Coops.

Setting: Long road trip – first game at the Climate Pledge arena in Seattle. A list of Sirius’s excuses to get out of the mandatory team nap on a rainy Seattle afternoon, and Coach Weasley’s responses. Thanks to @lumosinlove for the characters, @noots-fic-fests for organising, and @hazelnoot-analyst for the archiving :)

-I slept on the bus here from Vancouver. -Sirius, the bus left at 6 am. It doesn’t count. Plus, you slept for less than half an hour. You talked with Pots the rest of the time.

-I took a micro-nap on the Space Needle elevator. -No, you closed your eyes because you are afraid of heights.”

-Is my first visit to Seattle, and we didn’t get to go to the lower levels of Pike’s Public Market.. -We’re staying here tomorrow, you can go then. Besides, it closes at 4, you’d only get half an hour, tops.”

-Have to go set up a surprise meeting with Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe for Loops and Leo. Need to go finalise details. Bye Coach. -They are joining the team workout tomorrow morning, Sirius. Surprise. So, naptime.

-I have class at the German Language School. -What? -Need some good chirps for Grubauer. -No Sirius.

-But Remus snores, I won’t be able to sleep, so why bother? -That bodes poorly for the rest of your life. Take a nap, Cap.

-But it’s a rainy day, and in the rain, the pavement shines like silver. -If you sing me the whole musical one more time, Cap, I swear I’ll stick you on babysitting duty for the rest of your time with the Lions. Take your nap.

-I am meeting up with Brady, he is going to give me a locals tour. -Brady knows our travel routine, he wouldn’t dare. (Headcanon: Brady Smith was the team member sent to the Seattle Kraken as part of the expansion.)

-There is a troll, I can’t sleep near trolls. Need Olli or Henrik to exorcise it first. -Really, Sirius? What did the poor troll do to you? No, don't tell me. Go nap.

-I have an appointment to see tattoo artist. He has a year-long waitlist. -One, Sirius, you know you would save that for the off-season. Two, Cap, you don’t have your special squeezee with you that you need to get any shot. Try again.

-I ran out of honey for my sandwich, I need to go find a grocery store. -Moody packs extra, you know this. Sleep, Cap.

-My room is on the wrong side, the sun will be in my eyes. -Then close the curtains, Cap, you know this. -But I will still know the sun is there. Better I use the pool, will just float, promise. -No Cap.

-I drank too much coffee, if I nap, j’aurai toujours les jitters for the match. -Nice try, Cap. Take a nap.”

-Je n’en ai pas envie. I am not tired. -Tampis. To bed, Cap.

-I won’t nap, I will just keep Remus from napping. Best I leave him alone. -You want me to assign you to different rooms for this season’s roadies? - Non, non Coach. J’y vais.

[krethes]

@wolfstarmicrofic Day Twenty-Five: curl

@theresthesnitch bullied me (it wasn't hard) into another firefighter AU "micro"fic. Only mildly NSFW this time.

Read: Part One (Wildfire), Part Two (Inhale), Part Three (Accident), Part Four (Popsicle).

Days off are so rare and so precious, and tandem days off are nearly unheard of, so when they do happen, Remus wants to spend the whole day curled up with Sirius on their couch eating junk food and reading or watching television or doing things that normal couples with normal lives get to do. Such was not the case for today, because they apparently owed Andromeda a favor, though for the life of him, Remus can't remember why...

Remus knew something bad was going to happen the moment Nymphadora—sorry, "Tonks" now—showed up at the playground with purple, green, and blue hair. Andromeda just smirked when she dropped her off, told Sirius (not her child) to have fun, told Remus "good luck", and promptly got the fuck out of there.

Sirius had that look in his eye. The one that said he's about to do something exceptionally stupid. Logic and Reason (lifelong foes of Sirius Black outside of work) go flying out the window when faced with the indominatable will and fire of his little cousin, and Remus just has to hang on for the ride and run damage control.

On Nym- Tonks's sixth birthday, Sirius gave himself a concussion trying to beat her record at popping balloons taped to the ceiling with a unicorn helmet strapped to his head. On her eighth birthday, Sirius ate so many hot dogs he was sick for three days (but he'd won the contest, so it was #worthit, apparently).

Today isn't a birthday, just a favor they're doing for Andi so she can Ted can have a nice day out at a spa, but Remus can already see where this is going.

"Race you," Tonks challenges Sirius, and before Remus can even warn them both that the ground is wet from the morning's rain, they're off. Miraculously, they survive the dead sprint to the swings, and again cheat death or dismemberment despite swinging so high Tonks nearly does a loop. The jungle gym maze itself, while posing quite the challenge to directionally-deficient and grace-lacking tonks, still results in no injuries beyond a few scrapes and bruises.

Remus exhales. Perhaps he'd been too hasty in his judgment. Sirius is, after all, a professional firefighter and has a great deal of control over his body. He knows what's at stake if he hurts himself, and has probably grown out of his weird phase of trying to be the "cool uncle" to this twelve-year-old heathen.

"Bet you can't make it all the way across."

Oh. Oh no.

"Kid, I'm a firefighter-"

"And you never shut up about it." Remus knows she's teasing, just trying to bait Sirius into doing someting dumb.

"Because when you need me to come drag your scrawny butt out of a burning building because you left your straightener on-"

"That was ONE time!"

"-you'll be glad you know the world's best firefighter." From across the playground, Remus sees Sirius look at him and quickly away. "Tied with Remus." Ridiculous man.

Tonks snorts. "Good. So do it."

"I will!"

'It' appears to be a balance and ropes course that ends in a very long set of monkeybars. On paper, this shouldn't pose a problem to Sirius. He's right—their job gives them quite a lot of upper body strength, but... Sirius makes mistakes when his hubris takes the helm.

Sirius makes it all the way to the monkeybars and Remus has just decided that perhaps this won't end poorly at all until-

"Fuc- I mean, fudge! Fudge, fudge, fudge!"

Remus runs over before he can stop himself. He doesn't want to look. If he doesn't look, it'll all just be a weird fever dream and he'll wake up at home with a fully intact and unharmed Sirius in his bed and they'll eat breakfast and...

"Ow..."

"And you call me clumsy."

"Not now, Nymphadora!"

Tonks rolls her eyes but casts a guilty look Remus's way. Sirius is sprawled on the ground, woodchips and dirt in his hair, and his right ankle is rapidly swelling. Remus can see her two sides at war: the contrary preteen versus part of her that is actually quite a good human, who feels remorse and everything (a rare trait for preteens, in Remus's experience).

Remus goes into paramedic mode to the pathetic whimpers of his pathetic husband. Some gentle manipulation of the joint and careful prodding gives him some hope that it's not broken, but Sirius has always been a bit of a baby when it comes to pain. That, plus his very fine-boned, aristocratic ankles makes him an extremely difficult patient. "Tonks, I need to take him to the ER. Come with us and I'll have your mother pick you up from there."

"Nah, I'll just take an Uber!" she announces and, within ten seconds, has her phone out and a ride confirmed. Impressive. "Mom knows Sirius gets a little stupid around me, made sure I had money on my card."

Sirius groans and flops dramatically down flat against the ground. Enough life in him to have a fit of melodrama, which is promising. "I am actively dying and you're taking cheap shots?"

"Have to make them while we can; there's no use when you're dead," Remus says drily.

"Et tu, Moony? Et tu?!"

Remus, though the option to leave Sirius on the ground is increasingly tempting, gets him to sitting upright by the time Tonks's ride shows up. Remus warns her to be safe, tells her to text him immediately when she gets home, and makes sure the driver can see the swell of his biceps and the "FIRE RESCUE" and seal on his shirt. It's usually enough to keep weirdos at bay. People might fuck with police officers (jumped-up twats that they are), but no one fucks with a firefighter.

"Alright, you. Can you stand?"

"No." The bastard doesn't even try. "You'll have to carry me."

"I feel like this would be more productive if you just limped along to the truck."

"It would not."

"Sirius."

"Remus."

"Sirius."

"Remus, I'm injured! I'm dying! You can't make a dying man do things that would bring him closer to death!"

Remus looks at the silicon band on his ring finger and then up at the sky. "I love him, I love him, I love him," he mutters under his breath.

"You love me."

"Somehow." Remus rolls his eyes, crouches down, and lifts Sirius into his arms with a firm heave. Sirius weighs more than he does, and he's a heavy burden in the curl of Remus's arms, but the look on his face and the slight parting of his lips gives Remus the extra strength he needs. It's crazy. Seven years together, and they still get hot for feats of strength.

Sirius doesn't give the ER nurses any lip. Even with all of his charm and long eyelashes and beautiful face, they don't take shit or heckling from him. After some x-rays and a great deal of teasing from the staff who joke he hurts himself off-duty more than he does on, Sirius's ankle is determined to be sprained, and he's required to take four weeks off and be re-evaluated before he can return to work.

"You're telling Lily," Remus says bluntly as he helps Sirius out of the truck.

Sirius pouts and makes Remus carry him again—crutches are apparently 'torture'—into the house. "Can I tell her after I make it up to you?"

Remus almost drops him on the couch, but recovers quickly enough to set him down gently. "...What did you have in mind?" He clears his throat. "It'll have to be good. I've carried your thick ass all afternoon."

Sirius props himself on one elbow and drags Remus close by his beltloops. "But you love my thick ass," he practically purrs against Remus's fly, and he's not wrong. He really, really does. Sirius mouths the growing bulge in his jeans and flicks his silver eyes up at Remus. "Don't worry. It'll be good."

[tealeavesandtrash]

Wolfstar Micro Fic - @wolfstarmicrofic prompt: grief/mourning - words: 952

“When do you think we stopped being brothers?”

Not-Regulus watches curiously, unmoving and expression neutral. It’s all he does. Just watches quietly from a distance, always in Sirius’ peripheral.

“You’ll always be brothers,” Remus says because he doesn’t see Regulus, thinks Sirius is talking to him. Sirius hasn’t mentioned not-Regulus, doesn’t need to give Remus a reason to think he’s losing his mind. Not that Sirius would blame him. If Remus had said Hope was following him around after she died, Sirius probably would have called him crazy as well.

“He lost any chance of that when he got the Dark Mark,” Sirius says simply.

Regulus cocks an eyebrow, face still unreadable. “You lost any chance when you left,” he says vacantly - devoid of any of the venom Regulus spat at him during their last argument, the last time they saw each other alive. Not-Regulus doesn’t talk much, but when he does it’s some biting remark, cutting deep to the bone. Sirius doesn’t rise to it, can’t let himself lash back, just purses his lips and glares at the spot of thin air.

--

Sirius feels Regulus most during Order meetings, gaze burning into the back of his neck as Dumbledore alludes to battle plans and missions without ever giving away too much. Whatever his master plan is, the details have been shuffled and scattered. Everyone has a handful of the jigsaw pieces but no one knows the full picture, how they all fit together or if they all even belong to the same finished piece. 

It used to piss Sirius off, he felt even more in the dark about the war than before he enlisted, but in the eighteen months he’s come to reluctantly accept it. There’ll be a good reason. No one’s said it out loud yet, but there are quiet rumblings of a leak. These days they all look at each other with a hint of suspicion, the unspoken question about what really goes on behind closed doors.

Remus sits on the far side of the room, eyes down and fingers fidgeting. He’s twitching for a cigarette, it’s one of the few behaviours Sirius can still read. Sirius can’t read him very well these days, but he can feel Remus withdrawing.

Remus is pulling away from everyone and Sirius is being followed by a dead Death Eater.

-- 

Sirius can still feel the remnants of dark magic, prickling across his skin and catching in his throat. He stumbles through the front door because the Floo isn’t secure and not-Regulus is already inside, watching with mild amusement after another almost disastrous mission. They didn’t lose anyone though which is something, unlike Pete and Fenwick’s last mission. They’re in that uncomfortable but increasingly frequent state of limbo - waiting for Fenwick to go from ‘missing in action’ to ‘presumed dead.’

“Don’t fucking look at me like that,” he spits at the apparition and not-Regulus just smirks at him, eyes flickered to the side. And as Sirius follows his gaze, his stomach drops.

Remus is watching him, framed in the living room doorway, face twisted. And Sirius has to just take it in his stride. Everyone is a bundle of frayed nerves, walking around on eggshells like anyone might snap in a moment. Their relationship might be hanging in the balance, but it can survive one more biting remark. It might not survive Sirius admitting he might be in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

--

Remus’ skin is mottled with new scars, some a few weeks fresh, some months old at this point. There was a time when Sirius had memorised each each, knew the stories of most of them. That time feels like a lifetime away now.  

They barely touch, even though it’s been weeks since they last shared a bed. They’re always missing each other these days,  brushing past with overlapping missions that never quite line up right.

“You’re pushing yourself too hard.” Remus’ voice comes quiet in the night air, tentative like he’s scared this might push them apart even more. Sirius isn’t sure if he’s correct in that assumption or not.

Remus is right in his statement though. Of course, he is. Sirius hasn’t stopped in months, picking up mission after mission because he can’t let his mind go idle. Even now, a matter of hours after his last debrief, he’s twitching to get out and do something, fight someone. If he’s under spellfire, concentrating on getting through another dual alive, at least he isn’t paying attention to not-Regulus and the guilt that follows.

“You haven’t stopped since Regulus.”

Sirius’ throat tightens at the mention of him. He doesn’t talk about Regulus out loud. Not Remus, not James, not unless he brings it up first. 

“You didn’t stop after Hope,” he counters.

“That was different.”

And maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. They’re in the middle of a war, they’ve all lost family and no one’s handling anything well. Everything else is just splitting hairs. So Sirius pivots, “Are you here for the next moon?”

Padfoot is ansty, Sirius can feel it in his bones. Everything is building up and the only way he can think to release it is to let Padfoot loose - to run and fight it out with Moony because no one else can handle it like he does. He wonders if Remus can feel Moony itching for the same.

But Remus doesn’t say anything and that’s enough for for Sirius to know. 

If he asked Remus to stay, would he? I can’t do this anymore. I need you. I can’t cope. But he doesn’t, he’s too scared to know the answer.

In the morning Remus leaves and not-Regulus stays and Sirius has to shoulder the remorse alone.

[achliegh]

Hey after the loops talker friendship post I now want the kink discussion and spicy team game pls

-your favourite problem child

Spicy Would You Rather

Heheheheh

I wrote a little micro fic a couple days ago before I started a flare up of my fibromyalgia

Character belong to @lumosinlove

The team was… tipsy at the very least. They were celebrating the start of the season at James and Lily’s because Harry was staying with James’ parents for the weekend. They planned for a few drinks and to watch some highlights of last season when Leo got the bright idea to have some drinking games because

“Drinking like old people is boring, I’m not getting drunk over some tape from last year.”

“We aren’t old, Peanut!” Logan frowns at him and Leo rolls his eyes.

“Whatever you say old man, anyway I vote we do something stupid so I can say my team is cool.” They all agree, except for Lily who would like to watch the drunken fun unfold. They play a could of truth or drink games that lets the team of the team know a little bit to much about everyones sex lives but, they count it as team bonding.

“Okay, I did not need to know that James calls Lily ‘Mommy’.” Sirius shivers and takes a sip of his drink and about spills it when James gives his arms a punch. Given his best friend a look of ‘shut the fuck up’. Rubbing his arm he can’t help but chuckle a little.

“How about some would you rather, playing these little kid games makes me want to go back to my middle school days.” Thomas sighs and leaned back on the couch in between Sirius and remus’ legs, letting them pull on his coils and let them go because it's great entertainment.

“I want to go first!” Kuny raises his hand and smiles his toothy smile and just about falls over backwards because he and Nado were pregaming before coming here, so they are a bit more gone than the rest. “You would rather-”

“It’s Would you rather.” Kuny narrows his eyes at Sunny and then continues.

“WOULD YOU RATHER!” Looking at his friend pointedly, “Drink water from a tap or water from a bottle the rest of your life?”

“Bottled, some tap water is terrible! Unless it's well water, I won’t drink tap water.” Remus pipes up. “Plus you can just chuck a water bottle in the fridge and then its cold, you can’t put a sink in the fridge.”

“But you can put the tap water into a pitcher, like a filtered pitcher, and put it in the fridge. I would rather drink tap, it would make it easier at restaurants.” Sirius adds on.

“I think bottles would be nicer because then you can take them on hikes and runs, and to the gym.” Finn earns himself a high five from Remus and they reach over Logan who is sitting on Finn.

“You can always put tap water in bottles though, so I would go tap.” Nado gives Sirius a thumbs up and crosses his legs as he leans back in his Harry sized chair. “Plus all the plastic from the water bottle companies like dasani and aquafina is so bad for the environment.” That earns a good amount of agreeing noises.

“Tap water for the win!” Kuny smiles and drinks the last of his drink, setting the glass down on the table where there are coasters but not enough so there are still water rings on the table that Dumo keeps wiping off.

“I have one,” Leo smiles after he pops his neck and rolls his shoulders from sitting hunched over most the right. He really needs to work on his posture. “This one is easy in my opinion. Watch hockey for the rest of your life, but never be able to play again… Or play hockey until you keel over but never be able to watch it again.”

“Play”

“Watch”

Dumo and Sergei give each other a bewildered look.

“WHAT!” They both screech at the same time.

“You would rather watch!” Sergei looks at Dumo like he is crazy.

“I want to watch my kids!”

“I want to play! I’d never get to coach my kids!”

I never said you couldn’t coach…” Leo pipes in and sips his drink while trying to hide his amusement of what's going on.

“Oh… I would rather watch then, I don’t think my joints would last that long.” Sergei relaxes back in his chair and the rest of the team just smile. Everyone else says their thoughts and they all go quiet with thinking.

“Would you rather have a praise kink or a degrading kink?” Lily asks as James is basically a cat in her lap.

“What's the difference?” Thomas asks as he yawns a tiny bit after finishing his drink.

“One is praise and one is degrading… How are they even similar?” Remus looks at him like he is stupid and thomas furrows his eyebrows.

“Okay yeah but they are both said in the same tone… so like what's the difference?”

“I- I don’t know how you think this is the same thing”

“What would you rather have?” Thomas turns around to look at Remus, then he looks at Sirius, who is smiling a bit like he is trying not to laugh. “Omg he has one… doesn’t he!” The entire team leans in a little as they wait for Sirius to spill. Sirius looks at Remus for permission and Re rolls his eyes.

“Get on with-”

“He has both!” Sirius blurts out and Thomas’ whole face lights up as he and a couple other people laugh. “It's great honestly, but it's best if you mix them together.”

“Oh my god! So you wouldn’t have been able to choose anyway!” Thomas snorts” SO if you mix them together does that mean you like being called like… Good Whore, and ummm what else is there, whatever just stuff like that!” Thomas holds his stomach as he laughs and Remus whacks him on the back of the head. “Ow! What was that for… omg wait I can call you names too!” He notices Sirius’ eyes narrow and he puts his hands up. “In a platonic way! I promise! I already have a sexy Canadian who can beat me up, I don’t want Re.” He sits for a moment and thinks up a stupid nickname. “Bestie Bitch… it's perfect!”

“No! I refuse!”

“Don’t worry Bestie Bitch! You’ll learn to like it.” He smiles and gets away before both Sirius and Remus whack him again. “LOVEEEEE YOUUUUU.”

[anothersillyfanblog]

The Caveway To Hell

Day 13: Door. I did- so with something like this, you either have to take it 100% serious or go crack fic. By “something like this” I mean a Sanders Sides/Devil May Cry crossover, I did a DMC crossover, you don’t need to understand it, I don’t understand it. ------------------

Remus had been dead for two-and-a-half-years. Until, unfortunately for museum curator Janus William, he wasn’t.

“Where is it?...” something may or not have whispered from the dark.

It was late into William’s shift, and the slight patter of footsteps he kept fooling himself weren’t his own wasn’t helping the night pass any quicker. He’d done this enough times, he thought, backing against one of the glass cases, there was no reason to be nervous. Then? Then the glass smashed behind him.

A figure, somehow stood in the container, holding a recently-procured-mace and clad in an emerald-green leather jacket. Janus tried to look past the large shards of glass stuck in his face and see who this was, maybe get a better description for the police, but he didn’t get the chance. This man, antique mace in hand, ran towards the museum curator- and swung.

-Four weeks later-

Posters up for ‘the man in green’. Lots of people wear green. Roman’s heart still jumped five feet, it’s not as if ‘lots of people’ steal antique maces. Hell, the young devil hadn’t even known his brother’s mace was in a museum! If he had, HE’D have been the one committing theft. Might’ve been a different antique mace? Might not have been “Harmsway”? Maybe?

Any information contact the police.

….

Or the museum, okay so that worked.

-

“He looked like you-” Roman rolled his eyes “Are you blind? He probably had a shitty moustache and dyed thingy up here!” “Blind?!” scoffed the man sat in front of him “well yes, I just had half of my fucking face smashed in with a mace, and I couldn’t really see him properly at the time so.” “Oh, well!” Roman laughed “No need to get antsy, just sayin’. Anyway, he should look a bit like me, if he’s who I think, he’s my twin brother.” He became a lot more sombre now “except he can’t be- or really shouldn’t.” “What do you mean?” Janus asked. “My brother, Remus, died nearly three years ago now. I saw him fall from Mikaw Mountain- and that mace, Harmsway, too. I ran to the bottom of the mountain, but... Do you know how many creatures are around there? How many demons? I mean, I’m me and I struggled to make it out of there… I really- I just-” Roman took a deep breath “Look, Janus, if he’s alive then I have to see it with my own eyes. Coz It could be any random guy (who looks like me) in green leather breaking into a museum to steal my brother’s mace back!” Janus nodded “Sure could…” he smiled “so how are you going to find him?” “Oh now that!” Roman began “might take a while.”

-

It was like one of those optical illusions, at least when Logan had questioned what they were doing there: the cave looked like a door to hell (when you squinted slightly), and the door to hell looked like a cave (you didn’t have to squint for that).

Either way, as long as they were getting closer to the goal, that was what mattered. And if this goal involved trusting a devil- or half-devil, either one- then whatever.

“Can you see it?” the man in front of him wielding the mace asked. “See what?” Logan replied. Remus tutted “That’s your humanity, you, can’t see what’s standing right! In! Front! Of! You!” he hit the snowy cliffside on each pause, to the protests of Logan (who astonishingly didn’t want to cause an avalanche), and the rocks split- revealing a dark passageway. “See?” Remus began to cackle. “You think you can handle the devil world? Get ready for a funky old time, my friend!”

-

So how were Janus and Roman going to find them? Ultimately, through one very anxious ex-lab-partner. This being of Logan’s, of course.

Virgil Dagon had woken to find the lab eerily quiet. Usually he could at least hear the breathing of his work partner, but not at this moment. Right then, he went to put his food in the fridge, then- like clockwork- walked over to check on the micro-samples.

It was then he found the note.

--To Virgil: I did not feel quite right leaving without writing something, though my, shall we say, new partner encouraged against it. I have found an extraordinary opportunity, the likes of which this world cannot provide me, and so I am leaving it. There are studies to be sought elsewhere and I will seek them for I can. I wish you all the best; Logan. –

His heart leapt. Well, actually it summersaulted, but he wasn’t getting caught up on the details. Well, he was. Logan was not the kind of guy to just leave, or to ‘just do’ anything, and it really wasn’t an over-reaction to find this suspicious. Unless it was? No, Logan was the kind of guy who would skip out on meeting with friends to study, but not the kind to actively abandon those friends. Especially not…

‘This world???’

So began these new sleepless nights- sifting through his friend’s emails, notes, even the lab’s security footage (indoor and out). By the end, he had more than a few ideas.

-

A cave. Or, so Janus was told, the doorway to hell (if you squint). And it was two guys, from the same lab, in fairly close succession, both quitting their jobs to get plane tickets to Mikaw Mountain that tipped off one of Roman’s many informants.

“He’ll have a head start” Roman stared at the split in the cliff face momentarily “and quite a big one, so!” he grinned, then sprinted into the darkness, leaving Janus calling behind. It’s not like a half-blind man could keep up in a cave full of demons- he’d just have to die or run, either of which didn’t sound like a Roman problem.

In fact, without that curator guy, he was having a grand old time. It had been a while since Roman had done any serious hunting, any REAL fighting, and it was good to be back at it! Hacking at the sorts of bloody creatures he hadn’t fought since he’d last seen his brother…

Just simple, caped, skeleton-like things, many of them were- nothing too difficult- and nothing that him and his blade (Starcrossed) didn’t handle well enough. He was just propelling himself off of the cavern wall, slicing through the necks of several creatures as he leapt across, when he heard the scream. From up ahead.

So not the curator (probably).

And either way, he had already gotten started. Better finish.

-

“Is it done?” Remus whinged, almost childlike, whilst attempting to balance Harmsway on his finger. Logan didn’t look at him, remaining focused on the device in his hands “Almost…” he tapped the screen “there.” Remus snatched it off him, grinning, before instantly frowning again and giving it back. “What does, so, what does it mean, then?” “It’s a map to the door.” “But the cave is the door-” Remus started, before a figure behind interrupted. “Not quite,” Janus pointed a cane at Remus “bitch.”

The two swivelled round immediately, with Logan looking at his new partner with confusion and that partner proceeding to break out into hysterics.

“You? You?” he cackled “I can hardly remember who the FUCK you’re supposed to BE, let alone why you would know shit about the doorway to hell!” “Really?” Janus stepped closer “you, uh- robbed my museum and did this to me with a fucking mace you psychopath.” He gestured to the still-bandaged half of his visage, smiling with absolute hatred. Logan coughed “I’m not sure you have a diagnosis of psychopathy-”   “I DON’T GIVE A SHIT, HE SMASHED HALF MY FUCKING FACE IN.” he glared directly at Logan now, shouting, a tear pricking his eye. Remus tutted “Well, if you keep screaming at my friend, then I can do the other half- if you like?” he stepped forward, this time successfully balancing Harmsway on his finger. Janus turned slowly and lifted his cane- the end turning into spike after pressed a seemingly invisible button. “Or we could match- ‘if you like?’” he taunted.

Janus made very precise, delicate moves, attempting to finely swipe or jab at Remus’ figure. The latter was extremely different. He leapt dramatically out of the way of every move, then would charge back with astonishing speed- mace overhead.

They kept on like this for a while, evading and attacking, leaping and swiping, until Remus stayed still. He just stood there as his opponent dived in. And then, of course, he grabbed the cane- flinging Janus round and into the cave wall, who then let out a sharp cry.

Remus drove into him, winding him further with Harmsway, then quickly snatched his cane-arm and held it above his head. “If you want MY mace in your pussy-ass museum,” he snarled “then you can take it where it belongs.” “Thank you for the invitation but I think I’d rather, ooh, go to hell?” Roman stood, beaming, to their right.

“Hi again, Remus.” --------------------------------------------- Yeah so I haven’t finished this and, due to college, probably won’t for all of October. Also I don’t think anyone will like it so uh yeah no one will want me to continue. I had TOO much fun though!!!