#remove the the “r” and they're gay too

[frozen-seagrass]

Thinking about Mav being unsure of what Ice's eye color is

Of course he's not going to do the normal thing and ask the man, so he settles for finding ways to get up close and personal to try and see for himself without being obvious (-> he fails)

But every time he gets a close enough look they're different. One day they look blue but the next they look hazel. One moment they look brown but then he turns his head and a different light catches on them and they look almost green

It turns into one big game of "How close will he let me get? How much will he let me see?" And it's not until he's gotten to the point of being a breath away from Ice's face- close enough to brush lips- and standing under the bright white LEDs that he realizes that they're gray

[dykeomania]

PLS write smut for Hazel from bottoms..I need her so bad I fear..maybe like subtop!hazel..is her having a strap too far..I need her..

this is not. a full fledged fic. but this is the first time in a sec that ive let myself be inspired by an ask. this is weirdly switcher and just pure gay-sexier than it is subby!hazel. lmk if you want things to get subbier, bc i can probably do that. but for rn i have.. this image.. and i want you to walk with me on this but also hold my hand because i'm #supershy,

(minors [including 17 year olds 🙏🏽] dni fr, under the cut: not that proofread. strap lol (r!r), foul language, breeding... language... (my bad) (hazel has a strap tho), subtop!hazel except i could've made this shit so much worse so i guess switch!hazel but like, switch!reader, idk everyone's just a whore. there's an "i love you" (or.. multiple, i guess). there's a mirror. there's a vibrator. purely stream of consciousness, i don't even think the position they're fucking in makes physical sense fr. i was bored and i was thinking, so i wrote a lot. this whole thing is not realistic btw. i have very little confidence that hazel's blowing anyone's back out, but. it's my first day out in a min so i'm rusty. all respect to the community. next time when i pull up, i'll offer something a little more tame and saccharine as opposed to [exaggerated p*rnstar moans!!!]. reblogs and whatnot appreciated.)

so, i have this .. picture.

of you putting a bullet vibe in the pocket of hazel's strap before she fucks you from behind for the first time.

she eventually finds the confidence to blow your back out, and tbh, you think it's gonna end with you seeing stars because you can already hear the fucking lottery machines going off in your head. she's fucking you so well, and hazel's problem is that you're letting her know.

at first she thinks she's going crazy. but those fucking mewls into the pillow over how deep she is, how she's making you feel so good, how you've missed her so much, are sending shocks through her clit that the vibe keeps amplifying, everytime her pelvis hits your ass.

if she thrusts hard enough, which god knows she does, it almost makes her buckle over.

you're left clenching the sheets, and gasping against the linen while she fucks you, taking you in a way that's so uncharacteristically perverse that you don't even have the brain capacity to ask yourself why you didn't ask her to take you like this, sooner. her thrusts are quick and shallow, her words breathy and a little sharp. with every jolt of your body forwards as she experimentally blows your back out, it's like you feel yourself becoming more and more removed from this fucking planet. you can't help but cry -- sob, even -- as she makes you into a mess of limbs, leaving you tugging at your tits in one split second, and gripping at the sheets the next.

something happens, though.

where her hips rut into yours in deep, hard thrusts, spaced out by what feels like eternities, you can hear her. she's moaning now, breath quickening and chest rippling everytime her crotch hits yours at a particular angle. she's mewling, and unless you're hallucinating from how fucked up you are, you can hear her --

"fuck... f--uuh--ck, fuck, fuckfuck..."

-- silently beginning to whimper.

the girl goes from bullying your cunt to burying her strap deep enough in it to make the apex of its curve nudge against your g-spot, in a way that leaves your mouth hanging wide open with nothing spilling out of it maybe other than drool, but...

it's the slick warmth of hazel's back pressed nearly flush against yours and the heat of her breath against your shoulder that makes your eyes flutter open, facing your reflection in the floor-length mirror stationed across from hazel's bed.

hazel's in it so deep, you can't even see the strap anymore. and by no exaggeration, it's like an earthquake pulses through her body everytime she nudges her hips into your ass, making your vision blurry. she's rutting into you. greedily grinding her strap into your cunt in the effort of chasing her own high.

it wasn't a secret that hazel was sensitive. more often than not, the poor girl writhed against your mouth whenever she let you put it on her ("let you" is a loose sentence -- she begs for it, sometimes). you don't even know why you're surprised that your girlfriend is getting this close over having a bullet vibe pressed against her clit, hardly protected by fabric. "b--babe--"

what sounds like a plea, amongst the feeling of hazel's thighs trembling against the back of yours, inspires something sinister inside you.

you wind your hips against her, pressing back against the strap and the toy. the sight of your ass rolling against hazel's pelvis, combined with how good it feels is gonna actually, like, make hazel fucking--

"don't cum."

she loses her breath, entirely, and her rhythm, apparently. she slows, as if that was her body's instinct to obey your orders, despite the string of breaths that tumbles out of her mouth. "n-- wha-- fuck, no, nonono--"

you wind your hips deeper into hers, extracting a moan from your own throat -- fuck, maybe your gut, since that's how deep you could feel her. you press your ass into her until you feel the buzz of the vibe against folds, the frequency of it changing and humming as you press it further into her clit. "y--es," you grit. "don't fucking cum yet, hazel."

the dull, rolling vibrations through the fabric of the strap draw hazel's eyes into the back of her head, and then closed. she's grunting now -- or all of the above -- and she tries her best to unchap her lips, fruitlessly dragging over them. the little breaths she takes through them only brings them back to being puffy, pink, and a gateway of noise that gives evidence to struggle.

"gonna let me count you down?" you puff out your sentence in one breath, and hazel can fucking hear the grin in your still-fucked-out tone and it makes her whine louder.

"yeah? gonna fuckin' let me count you down so you can cum in me, haze?"

cum.. in you. three words that you'd never even fucking uttered to her before this, and that she never fucking thought she would ever hear and.. it looks like she can't complain, because her eyes roll into the back of her head and hazel swears that she -- at least, briefly -- meets jesus christ, "oh my god--," hazel slurs, hips rolling impossibly deeper into yours, it's a miracle she hasn't swabbed your cervix yet -- "ohmygod, oh my god--"

"three..."

ohfuck. ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck,ohfuck. it's the soft chorus that she whispers to herself as she starts to fuck herself into you, again, opting for thrusts as a means of trying to regain control with no consideration for your demise. the vision of her blurs in the mirror, and you feel your fists grasping at her sheets again.

"fuck--" you croak. "t--two.."

she pulls you further into her, and at this point, hazel's okay with being written off as a lost cause, 'cause fuck, it's not like she has a choice. the strap brief is soaked and it's entirely your fault, and god, she throws her head back. a mess of words, a mess of sensations, hazel just blurts, "oh my g--od--i love you--"

you burst out laughing at the random proclamation, admist everything.

she forces her head down to watch you, jaw hung open. and at this point, she's just speaking. rambling and slurring and gasping, tears-in-eyes-in-awe-and-all, as she watches you throw your ass back against her.

"iloveyou so much, you're so f--ucking hot, whatthefuck?--"

there's something weirdly sweet about it. something that makes your cunt clench around the strap in a way that hollows you out shortly thereafter, and lets hazel hit that fucking spot just right. before you know it, you're wherever hazel is, cunt fully creaming around the silicon.

"i love you--" you dumbly spit out a giggle, a gasp causing a steam of spit to cascade off your bottom lip and onto hazel's navy sheets. "babe," you warn. "ohfuck, ohmyfuckinggod, you're gonna make me cu---"

"fuckingsayone," hazel, unbelievably pleads while she unbelievably spears her strap into your cunt. "oh my fucking god, say one, please, please, pleaseplease--"

she starts begging. unprompted. "it's s-so good, it's so, so good, feels so fucking good, wanna c--um in you--" and she probably repeats it. probably repeats that she wants to cum in you until she's blue in the face and,

"o-one--"

until you let her.

the noise that's ripped from hazel's throat is .. embarrassing. virginal, almost. fully reverberates off the walls, and she trembles. her clit convulses against the vibe, twitching with every short stream of her release and she folds. poor girl was holding your hips for something -- for reassurance, to get a grip, dear life, perhaps? as her hips languidly fuck and press into the surface of your ass., rocking your near limp-frame after you've pretty much creamed all over her strap.

hazel hangs over you for god knows how long, dark hair shaggy and some strands stuck to her forehead in wavy wisps. cheeks flushed, and lower lip bitten to hell. the bullet vibe fucking dies, thank god almighty, because god knows she was not in any shape to reach down and turn it off.

she stays like that for a while, until she you feel her again. this time, only gentler, and much more like herself. soft hands caressing the skin of your back, her breath warm and shaky as she peppers a splay of kisses across your skin.

as you come from the surface of your own high, you feel yourself hum. still full of her, and dizzy with it. despite it, you manage -- slurring, slightly.

"haze?"

there's a hum, somewhere.

"did that really feel that good?"

hazel distantly nods, brown locks brushing against your back.

"uh.." hazel frowns, letting out a weak laugh. "y-yeah, honestly."

the mental note gets filed away somewhere deep in the haze of your brain and you grin, when you press your ass one against her just for shits and giggles and hear her gasp, from the sensitivity of it alone.

"that's my girl."

[genderqueerdykes]

I was wondering if you know how to deal with the hate, especially in queer spaces. It's supposed to be, preached as, safe there, but most of the time it isn't.

I don't feel safe the community. I know that's bad and I should but I don't know how to get past it all. Honestly I barely even say I'm trans or queer at this point, hey a lot don't want me there maybe completely removing myself would be best? There was the whole "trans men shouldnt be apart of trans/queer comunities because they dont experience hate" a while back. I know it's not every space and I have just been unlucky in finding places but it feels like more and more places are agreeing with terfs now and I don't know how to handle that. I'm so scared.

Sorry if this is rambly, I've never felt okay to tell this to anyone.

you know it's a good question, considering how fractured up the online communities really are right now. the issue is that enough people have taken the rad feminist bait and begun arguing with their neighboring queers they don't understand. it's a really tough time. i actually also feel alienated from most of the community, believe it or not. i sort of stick to myself and interact with my own fan base because i'm unsure as to whether or not people think i'm whatever -phobic they're the most riled up about because of how "Extreme" my beliefs are or whatever.

it's crazy but it seems like people are literally becoming proud conservatives right now. it seems like people are super proud that they hate gender non conformity right now, and lesbians who are men, bisexual gays and lesbians, female gays, trans women, trans men... people are proud to hate queers online right now. they completely fell for the conservative rad feminist bait and they don't see it. they're doing exactly what they want. the more they fight with each other they less we can have productive conversation

i say start out small. work with a small group of people you feel comfortable with, and slowly branch out and add people as you go. it's best to not overwhelm yourself with a community that's too large. i joined a community recently that didn't let me join because i listed 2 of my identities as fag and dyke. it was an 18+ community. it was really wild to watch. people are literally regressing and becoming conservatives. but there's also open minded queers literally ever

we need to bond together more than ever now, stick together in whatever ways we can. reach out to those mutuals you like who really agree with you and vibe with your beliefs and want to make sure you're doing okay. stick with people who have similar identities and find others and the communities they frequent. if the surface level of tumblr isn't for you, which i agree can be scary, you can also try communities on reddit like r/FTM, r/MTF, etc., you can try instagram, or whatever other social networks youre on.

you can also always try to find something IRL. IRL meetups are almost guaranteed to be less hostile. i recommend looking for "pride group in my area" "gay/straight alliance in my area" "lgbt group in my area" "queer pride in my area" etc. to see if there's anything at all in your local community. colleges often have them open to the public. good luck, you're not alone in feeling exhausted and alienated. it's rough right now, but sticking together with other queers is the key. stay safe for now.

[kb11rd]

Dosjsja ok hi ty for responding T-T I would give u my half eaten motorcycle to hear all of ur headcanons mmm some of mine r:

1. Tesshou places a cigarette on his ear like David from the lost boys (1987)

2. Kiyohiro picks up this habit from Tesshou and does it more after he dies

3. Abo loves the hobbit or lotr franchise pls don't ask why idk why

4. Takumi was emo in middle school

5. Sakota and some other suzuran students offered Hana a hit from their cigs and he kept rejecting it and the one time he does take a hit he basically coughs for 15 mins straight like Yasu from crows when he's being depressed cuz he got that Mohawk sosnaosjnsow

6. Shougo is kinda nerdy but tries to hide it

7. Mitsumasa would've been a hipster. He is nerdy but he gives such strong would be on tumblr hipster vibes with the fake mustache and scarf and all of it.

8. Takumi and Amachi had some type of situationship

9. Kurosawa and Guriko have a horribly toxic relationship/situationship and all of suzuran treat it like a reality TV show (it's the only info Kinji shares with everyone no matter if they r from suzuran or not for free)

10. Every week they flip flop from " I wanna marry you ", " I h8 you, I'm not gay. " , " Your the only one for me ", when they're in a good spot Guriko tries to make Kurosawa more feminine and tries to slightly put him down in public cuz he still cannot accept he's gay

11. This is literally just canon Hiromi and Bandou r married

12. When Nanba gets anxious he fiddles with his jewellery he does it sometimes while talking to people he doesn't know that well and they usually think he's threatening them and he has no idea why

13. People that aren't in the Armament assume that Kousei and Shougo r brothers all the time, Kousei laughs it off , Shougo gets awkward and quiet , and Juuzou gets a tiny bit jealous cuz like that's his lil baby bro

14. Shougo has some sensory issues and on some days its worse and it makes him not wanna wear the tfoa leather jacket but he'd rather die then disappoint his seniors so he wears it but he's so obviously uncomfortable and stands like a puffed up bird with his arms to his side but not touching him and his legs a bit too far apart and it's so uncomfortable everything he does looks like one of those stock images but he thinks he's doing a good job of hiding it meanwhile everyone in the armament knows and when it's one of those days they send him home saying there's nothing today or give him some work to do which needs him to remove his jacket

15. It's few and far in between buy there r days Nanba is more insecure about himself to the point he'll do anything he can to avoid looking at his reflection and the rest of the armament have caught onto it and help him by covering any mirrors and really reflective surfaces or setting them out of his sight

DOSNOS IM SORRY ITS SO LONG I've been insane about crows x worst for like almost a year now I also started with worst first instead of crows so it'll always hold a place in my heart :3

Haha no worries it's all fun and I've been wanting to talk about crowsxworst for a while, so if I get the chance I will!!!! Your asks are making me really happy <3

Especially since ur hcs are really nice HAHA. Shougo having sensory issues is GREAT!!

Hana coughing for minutes is so real. So real.... I imagine he'd inhale a big breath and it'd burn his throat and he'd start cussing out a storm between coughs.

That Kiyohiro hc was NOT nice :( ...

EMO TAKUMI 😭😭😭😭 nah this is real idgaf.

(I might draw some of these because, like, they're SO good omg. Thank you again!!)

I'll give of mine down there, cutting it again 'cause it's long!!!!

Let's start with CROWS :

– Hiromi and Bandou are, duh, in love and later on get married. They were in love during high school but since there were so many emotions between them it was hard to decipher to what level. But during Hiromi's third year they realized they couldn't live without seeing each other/not being around one another for that long.

– Young Bandou had a crush on Sugata.

– Harumichi screams at the monkeys in the zoo.

– Makoto is a he/him butch lesbian on HRT. He's out to everyone in their friend group beside Gunji (the boy was unaware. Had whiplash when he learned. But later on did not gaf.) He also was a silent tank because he did not like the sound of his voice.

– Zetton is a hundred percent autistic with ADHD. He's really intelligent but has difficulty focusing on one thing at a time. He'll sometimes neglect one thing for another if he deems it necessary (regardless of their true importance). Pisses off a lot of people, Hideyoshi being top of the list.

– Hideyoshi refused to pay to pierce his ear and did it himself with a hammer nail. Luckily his ear didn't get infected since he had put the nail on top of the gas until it turned red (it was painful), but he can only put one type of earrings since the hole is too big for regular ones.

– Masa had pink hair at some point. A very soft hue, a yellowish pink.

– Gunji gets extremely clumsy around girls. Very awkward, loses all sense of speech.

– Yasu once got so drunk he cried on the way home when he thought Harumichi had turned into a fat cat he saw on the street. While Harumichi was right beside him mind you.

– Ryuushin is hot blooded. He gets too warm swiftly. That's why he often doesn't wear shirts under his jacket.

– Tatsuya is cold blooded, in contradiction. He always has an undershirt.

– Harumichi also is cold blooded but he's a show off. He catches colds easily.

– Bulldog knows sign language. Learned it because of a girl, now uses it to curse people for fun and to get discounts on stuff since he's deaf in one ear.

– Yonezaki is a sleepwalker. Stopped taking naps at school when he woke up standing on his desk in front of his entire class.

– Kousei is allergic to pollen. The guys find the way he sneezes adorable, like a mouse squeak. But they don't find it so cute when he starts to turn red with watery eyes. They all carry EpiPens in their pockets because of that.

– Jou likes to do food critics for fun. He's actually a very good palate.

– Teru and Kiiko are a couple. Parko's the third wheel. He does not give a fuck though, even when they start to flirt. He often intrudes, unaware, but they don't mind him at all – they even include him sometimes. (Me, you, and Steve type of situation lmfao)

Let's go over to WORST now!

– Kiyohiro gets flustered easily. He turns red as a beet root. The Armament (mostly Tesshou) LOVE to tease him to get some kind of reaction. It pisses him off so much he sometimes leaves and only comes back the day after. (He doesn't give anyone any information. Not answering calls or texts. It frightened everyone the first time he did it. They almost ordered a man search.)

– Tesshou often comes to the scrapyard with painted nails because his little sister enjoys doing them.

– Shougo is easily offended. He doesn't show it but he'll sure sulk later on. Takumi is his worst enemy when it comes to that.

– Takumi is a sarcasm missile. He always finds a way to send a jab. Meaning it or not, he'll find a way to make a snarky remark.

– Maekawa has a wheezy laugh. Sounds like he's choking.

– Kuniyoshi is afraid (dislikes the sight) of needles.

– Renji is a mumbler. Mumbles words as he walks or stays still, doing whatever. He mumbles in order to remember all of the information he's gathered, otherwise he might forget some details or mix things up.

– Sakota is easily startled. Jumps at any short disturbances. But he's so hot-tempered that it just looks like he's going to crash out each time someone startle him (they don't know they just scared him).

– Tora is actually really silent on his feet. Startled Sakota more than once. Weirds everyone's out. Looks like he teleports across the room when no one's keeping an eye on him.

– Asai ears can move but they're also extremely flexible. He can put his ear in its hole, literally. He did it one time in front of Yaita & Katsuhiro and they started to shout like monkeys after seeing a magic trick.

– Ozaki's right arm often stings. It didn't heal well from the fracture.

– Ginji is touch-starved. Uses Tsutomu as an outlet. Putting his forehead on his shoulder blades or leaning against him. Putting an arm around his back, or putting his arms on his shoulders. Tsutomu doesn't mind.

– Pudding is actually a real bullet, he runs extremely fast. That's why he's able to escape Tsutomu most of the time.

– Hana is extremely skilled at calisthenics but bad at gymnastics (not flexible enough). He's a killer at rock climbing though.

– He's also weirdly skilled at reproducing animal shouts. Made everyone's eyes go wide when he started to sing like a bird. He also likes to bark for fun. (Makes Sakota jump real hard).

– Amachi's adoptive father is extremely kind. That's why he's able to get that much money in order to erase people's debts etc...

– Amachi has schizophrenia (because of PTSD), paranoia and extreme mood swings. He also lacks empathy but he laters works on it. The sight of Hana makes him terribly angry (it's mainly jealousy). He couldn't bear to see a man as strong as him be so carefree, so openly kind, instead of using his strength to dominate others (how he believed he'd survive in life).

– I also think Amachi has platinium blond hair. Stress and anxiety, wariness and anger wore the color out.

– Daitou has a fat crush on Amachi.

– Ichizen is colorblind.

– Akira is dyslexic.

– Bisuko also is dyslexic.

– Takumi has synesthesia (can see colors in letters).

– Guriko and Kurosawa have a thing going on but it's not exactly a situationship because they are willing to get together but Guriko is weird about it. It's exactly forced feminization (but a heteronormative brain too). There has to be a woman in their relationship (that's how it works, right?) and it sure as hell won't be Guriko. Kurosawa never complies though, of course. And it often ends up in a physical argument. In utter denial while still participating . He gets the idea though, when Kurosawa states that they're done and ignores him for weeks. Guriko gets so mad he can't talk to him he just tackles him one day. It goes downhill from then, but it gets better after.

– Tokio and Butcher have a situationship though.

– Mitsumasa has a typing record 90 words per minute. He's also the only of the four brothers who can speak English.

– Mitsuyoshi and Mashima are dating. (Housen knows its boundaries best. LMFAO)

– Teru knows how to sew. Sewed back multiple uniforms before he made people pay for it.

– Teru also has a countertenor singing voice.

That's about all (?), these are the ones that came to mind! That's still quite a lot, yeah... But it's fun, it's fun <3

Thanks again for the ask, I really enjoyed reading your amazing hcs and writing mine!!

[problematic-fodlan]

Not interest in stepping on F!Edeleth toes? That's straight up false. I have seen M!Edeleth fan:

- Say it would be better as M!Byleth under a F!Edeleth fanart

- Claim it's biphobic of artist to only draw F!Edeleth and should be drawing M!Edeleth just as much

- Claim M!Edeleth is better because it's canon ( using stupid argument like the picture of Edelgard drawing we barely see or M!Byleth in Engage )

- Constantly shit on F!Edeleth fan

- Litteraly start spouting homophobic and sexist the moment there's a fight between the two ship fanbase

You know what is fucking less than welcoming in the fandom? The r/Edelgard moderator removing a harmless comment for "being too scatting to straight guys" and saying they feel they should remove a post complaining about transphobia in the Edelgard community because it's not "relevant", important members of the discord and Reddit going on rant about modern feminism with 0 consequences, someone going in your DM to ask you if you were raped as a kid because you're gay, getting a reddit care package ( for those who don't know, the way to "subtly" tell kill yourself or just harass in Reddit ) for not shutting up, ETC

I am sorry, but the loud M!Edeleth fan are just a bunch of straight men whining because they're not the most popular version for once. People will just complain about the big bad F!Edeleth because they subconsciously think all lesbian are mean bitch- We sapphic women are constantly overtly vilainized to the point it's easier to side with the dude spouting horrible rethoric than to simply empathize with us. Some of you litteraly go "yes, said point from F!Edeleth fan is right" then completly ignores it. This fandom is never beating the lesbophobic allegation I swear

-

[deltaruinedcoco37]

SplatoonMG4 CHAPTER 1: The Gays Meet for the First Time

(Third person)

It was currently…daytime.

Probably?

Well, that's all SMG3 could make of it. Wearing a watch just never really seemed too practical, considering that he would never need to know the time here. He just needed to go through his schedule. Was it a schedule, actually? No, more of…an instruction manual.

STRIKE MAP GUARDIAN 3 (Suction-Cup Lookout - Octoling Strike)

Always be on the lookout for members of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, especially their latest recruit, Agent Four.

If an NSS Agent is seen, immediately alert all Octoling soldiers around the map to guard the Mini Zapfish. Your map is Octoling Strike, a replica of the Inkling battle map "The Reef", and you should remain hidden in one of the many buildings around the map. Avoid engaging in battle at all costs.

If the map's soldiers are defeated, you must rush them to the nearest Respawn platforms as quickly as you can. Release at least ten Squee-Gs and evacuate until the map is cleared of all ink before sending the Octolings back in.

If confronted with no escape, we have supplied you with one weapon from our limited supply. Treat it with care, and do not break it.

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, REMOVE YOUR HYPNOSHADES.

To be honest, sometimes SMG3 wasn't sure if the last instruction on the page was real. Maybe he was just imagining it. He did a double take, and-

-

-

-

What was he doing again?

Right, he was going to…check the Mini Zapfish capsules.

That was it.

Although, sometimes this job seemed a bit pointless. Why keep going? Why not just let them rest for a moment, why not just leave now? He had been so busy with this shit that he'd missed Octavio's concert. Oh wait, wasn't it 'Dj ZeR0' or something like that? Kinda cringy honestly.

So many people had left, yeah. Why not him? Why stay here? What was keeping him from-

-

-

-

What was he just thinking about…?

Suddenly, he heard a sound that was all too familiar to him…the sound of a certain Respawn platform linking to the soul of an Inkling.

Well.

Looks like it's time to start blasting some sweet Turquoise October in here.

~~~

"Octolings!"

Yeah, Four knew. Mario really didn't need to tell him that, but whatever. Not like he could just tell his boss to get off the line.

Agent Four, the newest NSS Agent, sighed. "I can't believe they're still trying to steal our power! Who are they even working for anyway?…I thought Zer0 was captured. Safely this time."

Luigi, the brother who originally recruited him, thought for a second. "W-well, we don't really know…since, m-most of them left, or we freed… It could be the ones that aren't free yet?"

That was kind of solid, Four thought, Maybe he's onto something. Hey, wait- is he right?… The blue-haired Inkling squinted at the Octolings. Are they still wearing Hypnoshades?

"Is it okay if I try something a little different?" he asked the brothers. They hesitated for a moment before Mario said yes, because they knew that even if he was splatted, he had a few lives left on this janky Respawn platform. Also, Mario liked dangerous stunts and chaos.

Four grinned. "Okay. Now let's see who's behind this all!"

First, he grabbed Belle's (Sheldon's) drone and turned off the Superjump target. Which was probably the most dangerous thing an Inkling can do, but that didn't matter, he had extra lives! Now it was time to launch himself at high speeds to a random spot in this place where he could end up anywhere from exactly where he needed to be to an Octarian dumpster in the city below.

C R A S H

Goddammit, that fucking hurt. Not really, since Inklings are strong, but yeah…who would've expected this? Who could've possibly expected that with infinite possibilities, one of them could be crashing through the side of a fucking building-

"AGENT 4! A-ARE YOU OKAY?!" Luigi was terrified, and for good reason. This was uncharted territory for the NSS…an Octarian city…

Wait, no. It was just one of those fake buildings the Octarians made to mimic The Reef. No wonder it was so empty.

What's that over there?

Was that…

A…

ZAPFISH?!

Whoa. Four didn't think he would find one of these little guys so unguarded…why was its capsule just sitting here?

"[Inkling.]"

He felt the uncomfortable sensation of ink that wasn't his own color touching him.

An Octobrush, and an Octarian…holding it to the side of his face. More specifically, an Octoling with violet tentacles, wielding a rather powerful-looking brush stained with magenta ink… definitely not a soldier, but what?

Carp. How would he even get out of this?

"[What's one of YOUR KIND doing here?]" the Octoling screeched. "[You've taken EVERYTHING. Our electricity, our king, our time, our LIVES. And you have the NERVE-]" he harshly glared at the Inkling- "[-to just BARGE INTO my workspace?! You…you absolute fucking dipshit!]"

Uh oh, that Octoling sounded…mad… Four thought.

Which was why it was horrible…that the Agent didn't understand a single word of the Runic that was being spoken.

"U-uuh, you're completely mistaken!" he exclaimed. "I-I'm one of you! Definitely! See, I…I knew the way here!" Four's eyes darted around the room for a second before he pointed at the hole in the wall. "Oh, wait…"

Yeah, he was not making it out of here alive. He just…uh…had to listen to this guy monologue for another minute before the sweet release of death- well, not really, since the whole Respawn platform thing. Wow…this guy will just not shut up. He must never get to monologue to anyone, that sounds…sad. :(

"[…And finally, after SO MANY defeats…we- no, I will strike you down, Agent Four!]" the Octoling yelled. "[Since I'm Strike Map Guardian 3, or SMG3, I've always felt like it has been my duty to…]"

Okay, this was actually kind of sad now. When will he stop…

Wait, 'SMG3'? That didn't sound like a word in Runic, Square, or Round…sure, maybe it was in Halfmoon, Bold, or Sign, but probably not since those were Inkling languages. Was that…his name?

He did hear about some Octarians from Beaker's Depot not having proper names.

"Uh- th-that's…cool! I'm sorry, but I have to get going…yeah…I'm totally one of you guys, so I have evil crap to do! My name is SMG4!" He weakly smiled. "Can I…"

SMG3 was not impressed. No one would be, though, the only thing really impressive about this was Agent Four's sheer stupidity. Lying to an Octoling. As an Inkling. About being an Octoling. While speaking in an Inkling language. Fucking idiot.

It wasn't a surprise when the Map Guardian finally smacked Agent Four to the ground with his Octobrush, leaving the Inkling with barely any HP… but he was still alive, and mildly annoyed now. "Hey! What was that for?! I listened to your villain monologue…"

At this point, Mario was done with just listening in silence. "Agent Four! You've gone coo-coo crazy if you think you can still get out of this! USE VIOLENCE!"

Unfortunately, it was loud enough for SMG3 to hear. Suddenly, his Hypnoshades flashed a bright red and he raised his Octobrush. "NO!" Mario screamed. "THOSE RESPAWN POINTS COST A FORTUNE IN POWER EGGS TO USE! YOU CAN'T DIE!"

Agent Four quickly shifted into his Squid form and began charging up an attack, deciding to try out that new Splatlandian technique. There was a flash of recognition on SMG3's face where he knew he'd seen that before, from other Octolings with experiences outside Octo Canyon. The people who were born on the surface, sometimes (mistakenly) captured and brought underground, had showed him…

Squid Surge. No no no- Four was going to- Three had to get out of the way!-

-

-

-

SEEK AND DESTROY

He swung his brush just a millisecond too late. He didn't want to. He had to. But why he did wasn't what mattered, the only thing that mattered now was that he would never be ordered around like this anymore. Blue ink stained his face, and he heard the Zapfish's capsule being shattered. The lights shut off in the building, leaving only the light coming in through the window from the screens that lined the Octoling Strike map's dome.

SMG3 heard the rush of ink that told him that Agent Four had launched himself out of the building, and probably the Octoling Strike map too. Everything was so much…clearer now, for some reason, the sights and sounds in reality.

A pair of Hypnoshades lay on the ground in front of him, cracked, flickering, broken.

~~~

AAAND there we have the first chapter of SplatoonMG4! If you're new to this, check out the pinned post on my blog for SplatoonMG4!

See y'all soon!

- Coco

~~~

Next (Ch. 2)

[thrilling-oneway]

I'd give you 5$ if you post that draft

you didn't even need to bribe. it's not actually in the drafts of this blog so i'll write a better version

i've said it a billion times before: tsukasa is the comedic relief weirdguy, the devs basically will do anything with him so long as it's funny.

so starting with that valentine's day vlive in 2021. during the MC part of that he gets jealous that rui has been getting chocolates and tries to brag that he got lots of chocolates too but then immediately reveals that he got friendzoned by multiple girls. his voiceline that year is something about how he catches everyone's attention on vday and year round bc he's a star or something like that but anyway that whole interaction there seems to suggest he's straight lol.

however.

he's REALLY oblivious. played for comedy ofc but i see a lot of people interpret this as him being somewhere on the aro spectrum (probably not what the writers intended but fair instance of accidentally coding a character as smth). examples include: not understanding why Akito doesn't want to be seen at PXL alone with Toya in an Akito's initial 3* (second story), literally says "thank you" when Asahi basically confesses to him and completely misses the point (he actually did seem to nearly get this one for a second), and he doesn't understand why Rui's friends are impressed that he's friends the incredibly attractive Shizuku (Tsukasa is the only not-gay-coded male character who isn't attracted to Shizuku, probably because they're childhood friends. or if you want to view him as being aspec, then that works too). also when he mentions that he's friends with guys in his class who are cool and popular and good with women, Hibiki says that he was in a class with one of those guys in 1st year and is amazed that tsukasa is in that crowd now, emphasis on the "tsukasa's friends are good with women part". tsukasa's just confused about that because of course they talk to girls a lot they're in the same class.

also he usually rewrites a lot of romance plays to remove the romance. he rewrote R&J to just make it focused on the action (which is probably because he likes playing action heroes more than anything else), and he got rid of the romance plot in little mermaid because he didn't felt it was needed (this one is justified in-universe as they do fun shows for small children and don't really need the tragic romance, and also from production standpoint like you don't do that because fandom). so yeah that could again be read as him being aspec if you want but i don't think the writers intended it to be read that way, especially the R&J one that was purely for comedy.

all that said, this is an idol game, which generally run on the rule of thumb that every character is some flavour of queer, even if it's just for fanservice (i don't play enstars but from what i do know of it it falls a bit on that last point). anyway you can probably tell where this is going but he gets ship tease with rui sometimes. vast majority of this is from Rui's side but there are things like Oki ni Mesu mama

Tsukasa: Waiting for the "1, 2…" signal, holding hands with you is an act of courage for me

or that one part in pandemonium where he drops his persona for a brief second when he's impressed by rui's plan that was very much put there on purpose, or that Tsukasa and Airi's cheerful carnival team name from that event is "swayed by their partners (相方, aikata)" and when you consider that Shizuku and Airi are heavily implied to like each other, and have canonically been on a "date", that was also a Choice.

idk whether to count KING because justified by them being actors and the fang motif in the song... vampires kinda homoerotic it makes sense that the dance routine was that. also i'm not sure if the connect lives are even canon, especially the wxs one since tokishun broke character and the 4th wall.

yeah i dunno. the writers kinda just do whatever they want with him. interpret any of this how you will i'm just recounting shit from the game.

oh hey it's longer than 300 words now

[cksmart-world]

SMART BOMB

The Completely Unnecessary News Analysis

By Christopher Smart

April 2, 2025

GOD BLESS MIKE LEE AND THE JACKASS HE RODE IN ON

Boy or boy, are we lucky to have Sen. Mike Lee around. Utah's senior senator is an expert on the U.S. Constitution and if you don't believe it, just ask him. He's a freedom lover who praises the Founders for our unique form of government and the checks and balances that keep any one branch from going off the rails. In that light, Lee wants to crack down on “activist” judges he says are blocking President Donald Trump’s agenda and keeping him from going off the rails. Last week, Utah's Constitutional expert introduced the “Restraining Judicial Insurrectionists Act of 2025” that would put all those insurrectionist commie judges in their place by establishing a three-judge panel to “swiftly review” injunctions against the president and allow for quick appeal to the Supreme Court. Trumps flurry of executive orders has led to more than 130 lawsuits. So far, federal judges have ruled against the administration more than 40 times, issuing temporary restraining orders and preliminary injunctions on such things as birthright citizenship changes, federal spending, transgender rights and deportations under a rarely used 18th-century law. Can you believe it. The American people want a president who does anything he wants to get this country to wake up and get un-woke. Those judges need to get out of the way and let the dictator dictate — or it could, in Trump's words, “very well lead to the destruction of our country.” AGAIN!

MON DIEU, TARIFFS WILL MAKE CHAMPAGNE BLOW ITS CORK!

Grapes of wrath. Bubbles are about to explode — in price. Hell Wilson, what are you and the guys in the Smart Bomb Band going to do now. Trump's tariffs are going to put the price of Champagne through the roof. Well, that's true, there's always Thunderbird and Boone's Farm — Americans will drink anything, but it's just not the same somehow. We're not talking about some little tariff, either: Trump is threatening to levy a 200% tax on all French wine, cognac, too. French vintners are shaking in their grape vats. The U.S. is their biggest market and such a duty would cost them an estimated 4 billion euros a year in lost business. What will they do with all those leftover grapes. Jelly and jam? Forget about it. In Canada, American-made whiskey is being removed from shelves from Montreal to Vancouver in reaction to Trump's 25% tariffs on everything from our northern neighbor. They're saying goodbye to Jack Daniels, George Dickel and Jim Beam, Wild Turkey, too. Bourbon is uniquely American and tariffs could cost Kentucky distillers some $4 billion a year and blow a big hole in the Bluegrass State's economy. You're right Wilson, Trump's 25% tariffs on Mexico would really jack up the price of tequila and cervesa. A shot of Jose Cuervo and a Corona back could really set you back. It might help you cut down on consumption, but with the band, that's not likely. It's the price we pay for living in Trump's America. Bottoms up.

UTAH GETS TWO FIRSTS —

BUT SHHH, DON'T MENTION SUNDANCE

Well, boy howdy! The Beehive State is making national news all over the place. Yowza! We are first in the nation to ban fluoride in public drinking water. And we're first again in banning Pride flags at government buildings and schools. And there's even icing on the cake; soon Utah State University will launch a legislature mandated pilot program for a curriculum emphasizing Christian values. Call it a moral hat trick. If this doesn't bring high-tech and banking to Zion, Wilson, what will. Not to mention Major League Baseball. But don't start on the Sundance Film Festival moving to Boulder, Colorado, in 2027. OK, it's true that when the Sundance Institute was weighing whether or not to move recently, our moral leaders on Capitol Hill were expounding on the ills of gay, lesbian and trans people. State Sen. Daniel McCay, R-Riverton, went on a diatribe saying, “Sundance makes porn.” Yikes! But just because Republicans were damning to hell a whole segment of society, not to mention the artistic community, doesn't mean that weighed into the institute's decision to vamanos. Maybe they just wanted fluoride in their drinking water. Or maybe you're right Wilson, Gov. Cox just didn't pray hard enough to overcome the homophobic vibe. But he didn't have to signed those bills outlawing Pride flags and keeping trans people from restrooms. Duh.

Post script — Another mind-blowing week is in the books here at Smart Bomb where we keep track of the 22nd Amendment so you don't have to. Surprise, surprise, Donald Trump says he will run for a third term. No Wilson, we are not making this up. If you believe him and his supporters, it will be his fourth term since he won the 2020 election, which, of course, is B.S. but 78% of Republicans think he actually did win. In a telephone interview with NBC's Kristen Welker, Trump said, “A lot of people want me to do it.” When Welker mentioned the 22nd Amendment that forbids anyone from being being president for more than two terms, he said, “There are methods [by] which you could do it.” (Read: the law doesn't apply to me.) Meanwhile, Fox News host Lara Trump was pestering Interior Secretary Doug Burgum to get her father-in-law's face on Mount Rushmore. Yes Wilson, we've heard this song before. Republicans sought to get Ronald Reagan on Mount Rushmore in the late 1990s. Now, it's Ronald Who? Not least, last week several of Trump's cabinet members without being prompted called him “the greatest president who ever lived.” Maybe it came from a White House memo: Before commenting on anything you must say: “Donald Trump is the greatest president ever.” Pucker up, baby.

Well Wilson, you and guys in the band could get a side gig running bourbon across the Canadian border. It would be the opposite of what happened during Prohibition. Ah, the good old days. Maybe you and your bootleggers could take us out with a little something as history gets ready to repeat itself — only in reverse:

Let me tell the story, I can tell it all; About the mountain boy who ran illegal alcohol His daddy made the whiskey, the son he drove the load; And when his engine roared they called the highway "Thunder Road"

Sometimes into Ashville, sometimes Memphis town The Revenuers chased him but they couldn't run him down Each time they thought they had him his engine would explode He'd go by like they were standing still on "Thunder Road"

And there was thunder, thunder over "Thunder Road" Thunder was his engine and white lightening was his load And there was moonshine, moonshine to quench the devil's thirst The law they swore they'd get him but the devil got him first

Roaring out of Harlan; revving up his mill He shot the Gap at Cumberland and streamed by Maynardville With G men on his tail light; road block up ahead The mountain boy took roads that even angels fear to tread

Blazing right through Knoxville,out on Kingston Pike Then right outside of Bearden, they made the fatal strike He left the road at 90; that's all there is to say The devil got the moonshine and the mountain boy that day

And there was thunder, thunder over "Thunder Road" Thunder was his engine and white lightening was his load And there was moonshine, moonshine to quench the devil's thirst The law they never got him 'cause the devil got him first

(The Ballad of Thunder Road — performed and co-written by Robert Mitchum for the 1958 movie “Thunder Road.”)

[automatismoateo]

Homophobia in morocco via /r/atheism

Homophobia in morocco I'll add a link at the bottom so that you can see for yourself, although it may trigger you if you are a member of the LGBT. I'm sorry if this is out of topic, but I really don't know where to post any of this. No one cares. the LGBT sub doesn't allow these types of post even though they're EXTREMELY important. Anyway, I'd like to discuss the issue here, religion. I'm hoping this doesn't get removed, and a lot of people see this because this is important to me. The police here don't protect 🏳️‍🌈 people. If anything, they might arrest you even if you're the one who got attacked. The police would even join and beat you too. These types of people hide behind religion even though they smoke, drink, watch porn, and basically sin without a care in the world. But when it comes to gay and trans people, suddenly they care about religion. The hypocrisy infuriates me. One thing I can not stand in this world is hypocrisy. To kill and harm others for sinning even though you are sinning as well. To expect to be safe when you walk in the streets but have no problem attacking others who have done nothing to you. If their God is real, he is evil. That is a fact. Even as a child, I never thought god was good, I worshipped him because I was scared of him, not because I loved him or thought he was good. Here's the link, don't watch the video if you don't like violence. https://x.com/RadioGenoa/status/1874717365780492311?t=H1XZWUZIYenT0wI29lOdyA&s=19 Literally over a thousand views but only 5 likes, how are people meant to see this if you don't like the post to get it viral? None of you care, huh? I guess I was right. gay people, stay safe. As you can see, no one cares. I'm done with social media, fuck this planet Submitted January 03, 2025 at 07:58AM by dawwel (From Reddit https://ift.tt/hiF2dpf)

[italian-wall-lizard]

WATCHING AND DREAMING SPOILERS!!!!!!!

-

-

-

ok but can we PLEASE talk about the future seen in watching & dreaming????

first of all: dana terrace is doing gods work out there. queer, latina, black, and trans kids will be able to see themselves in her characters and i think that is really beautiful. fuck disney for cancelling the show x100000

secondly: STOP IT BECAUSE ITS LITERALLY THE CUTEST THING EVER. i will admit at first i was VERY against huntlow but now i straight up love them, they're so perfect for each otherrrr!! also my boy hunter finally got some sleep, his eyebags are gone (hunter x sleep best ship)

also THE MATCHING FLAPJACK TATTOOS??? too cute i might (read: definitely will) cry

i LOVE how everyone was so supportive of luz!!! they all gathered together and threw a quinceañera (or should i say KING-ceañera) for her bc she missed it helping them rebuild the boiling isles... they r so cute!!

also everyone's futures are SO PERFECT. the designs are GOLD and they all got to do what the wanted to do (willow with flyer derby, gus with human studies, hunter studying wild magic and carving palismen, luz doing literally everything)

here is a comprehensive list of what the hexsquad + parental figures are doing in the future:

- hunter is carving palismen with edas parents and the bat queen. he also has a new blue-jay palisman and her name is waffles and i love her very very much

- willow is a pro flyer derby player

- flapjack..... i think we all know what happened to flapjack

- lillith is an architect and is helping to rebuild hexside (she also still has a personal vendetta against flora desplora) + she can go harpy mode!!!

- hooty is still and forever will always be just hooty and i love that.

- amity is making abomination tech with her dad and has an AMAZING new look

- mattholomule finally grew a moustache

- principal bump is now a gardener. good for him he deserves a break

- alador is a good person now and has figured out a way to get rid of coven sigils. he's also gay for darius i think (FUCK odalia bro!!!)

- darius is... idk what darius is. basically he's now hunters full ass father and is also gay for alador

- raine is helping to conduct research on the new sigil removing process but more importantly is OFFICIALLY BACK TOGETHER WITH EDA

- gus is now directing a human exchange program at a school for wild magic (!!!) and has a SICK new look

- quite possibly the best of all, eda is the headmaster of the school!!! she also has a captain hook-style hook for an arm and i think that is wonderful. she also FINALLY learned how to do the staff spin from season 1

- vee is still amazing and has a new look, also i'm seriously hoping she's with the human who worked at the gravesfield museum and did tarot because they would be SO CUTE

- luz reigns supreme as the queen of doing literally everything and has about 10 different majors at her college. she also has eyeliner skills that i am seriously jealous of

and HOW COULD I FORGET. king now has glyph magic???? he's getting powerful as fuck apparently so now luz gets to learn a whole new glyph system while she's at college

anyways final thoughts are: this episode was a masterpiece esp considering what dana was working with only having three episodes to fill. and of course, say it with me now:

FUCK WALT DISNEY!!!!

[bichristian]

How do you deal eith backlash from other Christians about being gay? That is something I'm struggling with.

TW: homophobia (if you want to skip, you can just go past the bolded section)

Found out this is quesion was asked a very long time ago, but I hope that whoever you are will forgive my late response.

I tend to be pretty careful with where I share it. In most situations (even non Christian ones), I spend a long time gauging people before I ever bring it up. It helps that I have a personality and appearance of an unsalted potato, so I'm assumed straight until otherwise stated usually.

I think this comes from when I grew up (I'm not sure when and where you were young, but if you're younger than me or grew up in a more liberal area, your experiences likely will be different). When I was a kid, gay was The Insult. You didn't like something? Gay. You didn't like someone? Oh they're so gay. Gay and the r-slur (the one against neurodivergent people) were the insults du jour of my childhood. I was accused of being gay back when I didn't even know that was a thing (fifth grade me was very sheltered, though looking back yeah it was kind of obvious) and it caused one of the only friends I had to tell me in a letter that she could no longer be friends with me, because they also accused her of being gay because of how we acted together. Like it was a whole ordeal, teachers and the school guidance counselor had to get involved.

You know what I did to get that sort of rejection? When the two of us would go inside from outside roundup, I asked for us to basically play follow the leader, where one person would close their eyes and the other would guide them inside, because I was a traumatized, socially inept child who had severe trust issues. So we would be arm in arm. Yeah, looking back it is one of those situations where you go "what was I thinking", but what ten year old escapes that?

But, that got her bullied and accused of being gay. Being friends with me was a like spending too much time around social nuclear waste: you might escape unscathed, or you might also become a social pariah by sheer association (I wish I was being dramatic, but I am dead serious). I was already on the literal shit tier of the school's social heirarchy and weird for many a reason, so they hardly needed more of an excuse to punch me even further down. This was my first exposure to the concept of being gay.

I'm sure you can imagine the trauma, where before puberty I already had some serious exposure to severe judgement and social ostricization from a sexuality I didn't even know I was yet. It didn't help that my entire family is very homophobic, in the "love the sinner hate the sin" type of way, so I had a lot of internalized homophobia to deal with. (Side note: I almost never mention them in queer circles specifically because I have a very complicated realtionship with them, which I can elaborate in a different post, but I do ask that no one makes disparaging comments about my family because it only causes me, the person they're immediately affecting, intense pain.)

If you wish to ignore the long winded backstory, or skip the homophobia, here's your exit point:

I guess this is a roundabout way of saying: I honestly don't deal with that much backlash. Because as I grew up I learned to be very careful who I talked to and how I share parts of myself. I also grew up during a time where people were murdered for being gay, and that mindset still lingers. Is it a lot better? Yes. But I am hyperaware of what people can and still do to queer people, especially homophobic Christians. So in most situations, I don't engage, shut down much of the time to avoid emotional pain, and I file it in the back of my mind to keep contact with those people (when possible) to a minimum.

On the internet, it's easier because I can completely control when or if I respond at all, or just block the person. I also do my best to keep my identity personal, so it removes a lot of the sting.

I'm not saying you have to be as meek as I am. If you want to be more out and proud (or have no choice but to be), you're doing amazing. But you don't have to be defending yourself, even if they end up confronting you. You are allowed to extracate yourself from dangerous or upsetting situations without engaging in debate or argument. You are not obligated to defend your existence or change peoples bigotry. Find a good support group, and remember that there are people that are out there that will love you, without your sexuality being an exception or sticking point.

I actually find there are very learned people on tik tok and youtube who are making content defending queer people and explaining the Bible isn't homophobic, as many Christians think (people who actually can read it in the original languages, for anyone whos going to yell at me like last time), which I think can help you feel more secure when the conservative churches are tearing you down. Security in yourself and your beliefs is honestly the best defense I know. Because while you may not be able to change their minds, they don't have to change yours either.

I really hoped this helped. You are loved, and your sexuality is valid. May you have a peaceful and blessed Christmas season, with those that make you happy and safe.

[midasinc]

Jehan & Bahorel friendship headcanons? (If you want to make me *very* happy, make it cis!gnc!Jehan and non-binary!Bahorel) Also, platonic Feuilly and Bahorel headcanons?

omg id love to! i'll do platonic feuils n baz on another post so this one isn't too garbled! im gonna go for modern era because the potential is unlimited.... i actually need to read up on history so i can make historically accurate canon era hcs oh god my whole career on here is a sham

-anyway they meet through a kickboxing tournament. jehan has a bunch of random niches of interest and one of them is boxing and kickboxing alike. he's working as a ref and bahorel is one of the competitors and they have CUTE shorts and jehan makes a mental note to ask where they got it after the match, but bahorel is a fucking BEAST in the ring and jehan is aboslutely enamoured

-after the match he goes up and chats their ear off but bahorel doesn't mind and winds up chatting jehan's ear off

-they wind up exchanging numbers and they both hit it off from there

-both of them r very fond of skirts. bahorel likes short skirts and jehan loves long flowy skirts. the two go shopping a lot together because they feel safer in a pair and less judged. plus, it's nice to have someone to tell you when something is unflattering to the highest degree

-bahorel has a very masc fashion sense and wears a lot of muscle tees bc they feel like it compliments their torso, but they also can be fuckin GLAM as hell when they want to. more often than not, though, they just wear a bunch of hoodies and sweats because fashun is hard. jehan likes to take bahorel's hoodies and embroider stuff onto the cuffs of the sleeves because he says that bahorel needs at least a LITTLE colour

-they've dyed their body hair together. twice. and they are probably going to do it again.

-they also police each other's tinders. jehan will be swiping through his matches and bahorel is over his shoulder, scrunching up their nose and going "nope. nope. nope. absolutely not." jehan does the same thing. he's the one that put bahorel's profile together in the first place and as bahorel is typing a pick up line he'll snatch up their phone and go "no! do not say that!"

-they're also each other's date-follower for safety. jehan is annoying about it- he literally goes out in a wig and a fake mustache and hat and trench coat and bahorel's date is nudging them like "am i crazy or is that weird guy following us"

-both of them are super into drag. period. they go to a show at their local gay bar once a week and they're friends with all the performances

-bahorel has a locket with jehan's face in it bc one time they went on a job opportunity to berlin for six months and jehan was like "i want to be with you every step of the way...." bahorel gave him a look but they wore it every day regardless (and on the first day their boss was like "...is that a locket?")

-jehan also likes to do bahorel's makeup when they're over. it's a lot of "baz. sit still." and bahorel frowning and going "i can't sit still if you jab that in my eye every two seconds". jehan goes through a lot of makeup remover and q-tips, but practicing on bahorel gives him enough skills to practice on anyone. it's like trying to get a dog on adderall to sit still

[variabels]

what? do you even go on r/bluelock? because this is absolutely untre. I've been regularly going on it since late 2022 and it's been my main place of interaction with the BL fandom (it's honestly a really nice subreddit, especially with how big it is)

most of the subreddit is fine with ships as long as you don't shove them down their throat when they're uninterested

there was a poll once where people voted that they thought BL wouldn't be BL without all the fruitiness, some of the most upvoted posts/comments have been about ships or really zesty, Isagi harem jokes are common af, no one on thinks reo or ness are straight, people have the horniest flairs, blue lock is exclusively shortened to BL (jokes about that are common too), it's a running joke that r/bluelock and every blue lock character except adam blake is gay, it's honestly one of the few shounen subreddits to actually be fine with the concept of people being gay (shout out to r/kagurabachi for being the other one)

hell, Shidou is more popular among r/bluelock users than he is in shipping circles and most of the subreddit accepts him as gay (you'll get downvoted for suggesting he isn't), posts about people complaining about shipping also get downvoted and quickly removed the few times they appear on the subreddit, homophobia gets downvoted

like genuinely, what are you even trying to achieve with this post???

I find it fascinating how blue lock reddit fanbase act like ships are some vile shocking thing when they are in the fanbase of the manga where a guy implied he was gonna come in the middle of a match and also asked out another guy in the span of like 10minutes

[electriccenturies]

...why... why has the mcr fandom suddenly decided it's okay to call ppl slurs???

the misgendering is old news by now but the constant f*g f*ggot f*g f*g is new and AWFUL. it is NOT progressive or okay??? you get to reclaim it for YOURSELF, it is still a slur if you say it about others!!!! especially about ppl who have specifically asked you to not speculate or talk about their sexuality... and ppl who have almost certainly had that word used to hurt them.

like i cant speak about fr*nk or r*y but the w*y bros have both talked about people thinking they were gay in high school and being bullied for it. the 90s were NOT like now, it was not SAFE. that is also why ppl call m*key GNC btw since ive seen ppl complain about that. yeah what he wore is p normal NOW, but it was not back then??? you can't just remove context from things??? so yeah, m*key wearing super tight girls jeans and eyeliner and doing whatever the fuck he did to his hair back then (and even just being openly touchy feely with dudes??? like those heychris pics) WAS gnc in 2005. so, so wild to me how people have latched on to g*rard being the "true f*g of the band" or whatever when m*key was also pretty openly doing gay shit too. it says a lot about what people actually care about: making g*rard a paper doll to project onto — he was talking about YOU!!!! — rather than actually being excited to have successful, gnc, probably lgbt icons like that.

i just dont get how people can convince themselves they're being Good People and treating LGBT people well while they act like this. like trans is not a slur, she is not a slur, but it is 100% misgendering to call someone trans or she/her if they have never asked you to??? why is okay to misgender g*rard as a 'joke' but not misgender YOU?

it's because you treat transness as a joke, sorry!

[hardforbenhardy]

the perfect gift | benxfem!reader

summary: the first time ben is meeting your parents, and you are nervous. but not as nervous as you are to give ben his present

warnings: intense fluff so prepare yourself coz ben is a d o r a b l e in this

based on two prompts: "that's what your wearing?" and "i tested positive"

word count: 4.5k

thought i'd do a little christmassy themed oneshot considering it was ... yakno... christmas; it’s been in my drafts for a while so there’s no better time than the present (no pun intended😊) i had fun writing this so i hope you have fun reading it! :)

Christmas had always been the same; through the 27 years of your life, you stuck to your traditions. You would always spend the time with your whole family, with the traditional Christmas roast and gift-giving. You loved it; you were extremely close with all your family, and spending time with them was always cherished since it only happened twice a year. However, there was one part that you couldn't stand. The worst part of it all was the fact that every year you were the only adult who was yet to find a relationship. All your siblings, your parents, aunt and uncles, grandma and grandpa, even some of your older cousins; they were all coupled up. You had even tried to convince them one year that you had finally found yourself a man; of course, you had simply bribed your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for the one day. He, however, was not as good of an actor as you thought he would be - caving in after only 3 hours in the household by accidentally spilling that he was in fact gay.

Though, this year you didn't have to pretend; you had finally found a man who you truly loved. He was the spitting image of what you considered perfection and you were sure he was the one. You and Ben had taken your relationship quite quickly, you had only been together for 10 months and yet you had already moved into a house together and adopted a small puppy. Though, you didn't see it as a particularly bad thing; you knew for certain that he was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, the man you wanted to start a family with, grow old with. And you were also pretty certain that you were that woman for him; I mean, that's what he told you every single day. Every morning as you sat around the table to eat your breakfast; every lunch time when you'd facetime him from the office; every evening when you were snuggling in bed and he just had to mention it, which of course often led to more. You were absolutely hooked onto him, like a baby to a bottle; you simply couldn't resist him. So showing him off to your family was assuredly what you were most looking forward to this Christmas. You had already met Ben's family, and so it was now his time.

The two of you were about to leave to drive down for Christmas Eve, and the nerves were beginning to set in; what if they didn't like Ben? What if they thought you were both moving too fast? What if the nieces and nephews didn't want to play with him? What if they all took one glance at Ben and thought he could do better? You saw Ben as an angel, but you didn't know about them; after all, your mother had always wanted the perfect step-son.  She had been pretty adamant about it from the start. Nevertheless, you brushed the nerves off and paid attention to curling your hair. Your concentration was broken, however, by the sight of Ben entering the bedroom in the reflection of the mirror in front of you. You grinned widely at the sight before you, or rather behind you, as the strapping blonde man strode in wearing what you noticed to be a rather formal suit considering the fact you were only attending a Christmas dinner with your family. In fact, it was extremely formal considering the fact you were only attending a Christmas dinner with your family; meaning you couldn't help but giggle.

"That's what your wearing? Baby, we're going to my parents for Christmas, not a wedding!"

"What? I wanted to impress them!" He exclaimed rather seriously, which made you chuckle before standing up off the little stool to walk towards him to give him a small peck on the cheek; which funnily made him blush like a madman. That was something you loved about Ben; he seemed like every day he saw you was as if he was seeing you for the first time again. Somedays, he acted like a horny teenager who couldn't resist your touch. Other days, he acted like you were made of glass, as if you were the most precious, fragile thing on the earth which led to being peppered with little kisses and hugs of every form whenever he saw you. And other days, he acted like he was made of glass, and would blush or smile every time you even placed a gentle finger on him; and you had a strong feeling, this was one of those days. "I mean, what if they don't like me, or they don't think I'm good enough for their daughter? What do we do then? Because I love you, I really really love you and I want to spend my whole life with you but I can't do that if your family doesn't like me because-“

"Baby, I know they're going to love you, okay. Maybe not as much as I do, but trust me; my mum is going to take one look at you and she'll treat you like the son she never had. You look gorgeous, and as much as I am admiring the way you look in this suit, you need to change. Swap the shirt and tie out for a tshirt, and the tapered pants for some of your nice jeans." you encourage him, stroking his upper arm lightly and smiling up at his face which looked extremely defeated. You could sense the anxiety emanating from his body, he was just as nervous to meet your parents as you were for them to meet him. But you didn't tell him that, because you didn't want to worry him anymore than he already was. He simply nodded, taking a deep breath and unsleeving his arms from the blazer so that he could unbutton his shirt. You pushed his hand out the way and did it yourself, after seeing the way his hands were pretty much shaking. He still preoccupied himself, beginning to pull his trousers off to fasten the pace, as he knew you needed to set off soon to make it in time.

Once he was dressed in more appropriate clothing, which you deemed suitable for a first impression, you were finally able to leave for your parents. The car journey over there was a little less stressful, as Ben had began to calm down and forget all about his little moment in the morning. However, as you stood outside your parent's house, your own nerves began to set in. You had arrived a lot later than you expected to, having been stuck in traffic for a lot of the journey. Your hand trembled as you went to ring the doorbell, Ben stood a step behind you so that your parents would be able to greet you first. The door swung open after a few seconds, revealing the bright cheery face of your mother.

"Darling, hello! It's lovely to see you! Come in, come in!" she cheered, stepping to the side to allow you and Ben to enter. You gave her a warm hug as you walked in, in which she responded with a small kiss to your temple. Your father entered the room too, a smile emerging on his face, and you couldn't help but laugh as you noticed the apron he was wearing; it was the same one he wore every single year, with an awful christmas pun which to be honest was not a suitable apron to wear around children.

"Mum! Dad! I've missed you so much! Sorry we were late - the traffic was awful" you squealed, pulling your dad in for a hug as well, until you looked to the side to see Ben standing there incredibly awkwardly as you greeted your parents. "Mum, Dad, I'd love for you to meet my boyfriend, Ben"

"It's nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs LN. Thank you for having me, especially during a time which is meant for spending time with family" He greeted, holding his hand out to shake my fathers, but rather he pulled Ben in for a hug. You then realised you had completely forgotten to mention to Ben quite how open and friendly your family were, meaning he had quite a shocked reaction to the sudden embrace.

"Please, call us Lydia and Michael. And you are part of this family Ben; any friend of YN's is a friend of ours, lovie. Now why don't the two of you head up to your room and settle down - that way, you'll be awake in time for tomorrow morning when the kids come up and completely wreck your lie-in!" Your mum whisper-yelled, chuckling as she handed your suitcases over to your dad to help you haul them up the flights of stairs to your old childhood room that you and Ben were planning to stay in for the next two nights. Admittedly, you were a bit embarrassed considering you knew your mother hadn't changed anything about your room since you were 18 and moved out to University, so you were in for an awkward and humiliating moment when Ben first saw the posters of Roger Taylor and Queen all over your wall like you were some kind of crazy fangirl. Which, of course, you were but you didn't even think about having to explain that until now.

After a good 10 minutes of Ben laughing at your seemingly-passionate devotion to the band, you had finally settled down in your bed, which was thankfully a double. It was rather cold, being wintertime, so you and Ben were cuddled up extremely close together under bundles of blankets in an attempt to keep some warmth between you. You spent a majority of your nights curled up like this, Ben's touch providing a haven for you. And just like every other night, you ended it with the same words.

"I told you they'd love you, you practically had my mum wrapped around your finger!" You grinned, poking Bens stomach jokingly as he released a low chuckle at your point. He knew you were right, because you had mentioned that your mother was often more removed from people if she didn't like them.

"Okay, okay; I was worried for nothing, I'll admit it! But I had every right to be!" He defended himself, his warm breath on your shoulder sending shivers down your spine. You couldn't help but cuddle closer, wrapping your arms around his torso and place your head in the nook of his shoulder.

"I know, I know; I really do love you Ben"

"I love you too"

*****

You were woken by the feeling of a small body pouncing onto your stomach, shouting and cheering filling the otherwise silent room; "Aunty Yn, Unca Bwen! Wake up! It's Christmas Day! And Santa's come!"

You chuckled, partly at your nieces urgency to get downstairs and open some presents, but mainly at Ben's low groan at being woken at 7 in the morning. Your heart softened at her reference to Ben being her Uncle, and not just a random man who had joined the family for the day. You urged the 4 year old to move off you so you could climb out of bed, grabbing the dressing gown screwed up in the floor and pushing your arms through the sleeves. "Lilah, give us 10 minutes and we'll be right down, okay?"

"Okay!" She squealed, wrapping her tiny arms around your legs before running off to shout to her brother Jackson that you'd be down in "twen" minutes.

"Baby, wake up" You whispered, shaking Bens arm lightly and kissing his forehead, only to hear him grunt and roll to face the other way. "Tired"

"So am I, but it's Christmas hun; come on, I want my presents!" You giggled, giving him a shove and jumping out of bed to tie the newly-clad gown. Ben pulled himself off the mattress and lugged over to the en-suite bathroom, mumbling that he was taking a quick shower before they head down. In the meanwhile, you busied yourself with helping your mum out in the kitchen to prepare Christmas dinner.

"Is Ben not joining us this morning?"

"He's just taking a quick shower, he'll be down soon" you explained, chopping the veg; you found yourself grinning at the mention of his name. Of course, your mother noticed this.

"You seem perfect for each other, you know. He seems like a very lovely lad too; your father and I are very happy you have found yourself someone" She smiled, elbowing your side a little which made you chuckle and grin widely; you were extremely happy that your parents actually accepted Ben into the family so unquestionably, and liked him. "So when can Michael and I expect more grandchildren!"

You saw the question coming; there was no doubt that your mother loved being a grandmother to Lilah and Jackson. But they were getting older now, Jackson being 7 and Lilah being 4, and Lydia desperately wanted a baby to care for. So, your next words came like a haven to her.

"What if I have reason to believe roughly 9 months?" You mumbled, placing your hand on your stomach and looking up at your mum with nervous eyes. Her own eyes widened in shock and happiness, taking in your words.

"You mean? You're pregnant?" She whispered, not wanting the rest of the house to hear. You nodded, worried your mother would think you and Ben were moving too fast, having only been together for roughly 10 months. "Darling, oh my gosh, that's amazing! I'm so happy! Does Ben know?"

"No not yet; in fact only you know. I was planning on telling him today, and the rest of the family, but I'm seriously beginning to second guess everything; what if Ben doesn't want the baby? I mean, we're not even married and Ben is always away for press tours and filming. What if he thinks we're moving too fast? I don't want to scare him away-" You stumbled, tears beginning to brim your eyes. Whether it was the hormones or your nerves you didn't know; but it was most likely a mixture of both. Your mother hushed you, rubbing your arm in a way to calm you down as she understood you tended to over worry about a lot; and of course, this is an extremely reasonable thing to worry about.

"Lovie, look; you will not scare Ben away. I see the look of lust in that boys eyes when he looks at you, and I can tell just how much he really loves you. This is a big thing, of course it is, but you need to tell Ben; whether you plan on keeping the child or not. He deserves to know, and if he turns you away then he was never a gentleman to begin with. You have this whole family to support you the whole way, but at the end of the day; it is both yours and Bens decision" She comforted, her words calming you a little as you realised she was right. You couldn't just not tell Ben, it was his child and you were a couple. And, to be completely honest, you were excited as hell to start a family with the man you considered the love of your life. The only reason you were hesitant with this was because you and Ben had literally never spoke about having children or starting a family, so you didn't have his opinion on the matter to fall back on. The moment between your mother and you was interrupted by the man himself, hugging you from behind and pressing a small kiss to your neck.

"Hiya love, everything okay?" He muttered, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as you continue to chop the carrots as you were before the conversation with your mother. You hummed, leaning back into his touch, hoping he hadn't heard the previous conversation between you and your mother. You felt the smile on his lips against your skin, and he tucked his head into your neck.

"Why don't you go and meet my siblings huh? I'll be in in a few minutes, just finishing up with this" You suggested, to which he nodded and placed a small kiss to your temple, before walking into the living room to join your family. You could hear the loud voices of your older brother, Sam, and his wife greeting Ben from the other room, and painfully worried that Ben wouldn't get too nervous as your brother tended to be quite boisterous at times. In fact, your whole family did; which was extremely different to Ben's family who were much more calm and collected. Although by the sight you received entering the room a few minutes later, you were immediately filled with joy; the sight of Ben sat on the living room floor, cross legged, with Lilah on his lap and Jackson sat beside him, as he read them a story Lilah had begged him to. You were a little confused as to how he was getting on with them all so well; Lilah didn't usually warm up to people so well unless she had been properly introduced. And your mum was usually very judgemental of your boyfriends that you had brought home before. And your brother was often extremely protective over you. And your sister would most likely try to steal any guy you brought home and have him for herself.

You can't help but admire the way he is around the 2 children; it's as if he's done the whole parenting thing before. Lilah was smiling so widely, you thought her face was going to get permanently stuck like that. The two were amazingly engaged as he spoke the words on the page, acting out the story with little actions and different voices,  making sound effects when needed. Your brother's wife, Sophia, walked up to you with a small grin on her face before mumbling "You've got a good one there, don't ruin it" in your direction as she passed by to enter the kitchen. At the sight before you, you realised exactly how correct she was. You had got someone in your life who you could never lose; you'd be a fool to ruin what you and Ben had. So of course, you began second guessing telling him the news once again. If you told him the truth, he may leave and then you've lost him for good. But seeing just how well he was around the children and how engaged he was, you actually considered that this was a good idea.

The time came to finally exchange presents; no doubt after the children had nagged the adults for 20 minutes straight, asking "when can we open them?". The children spent the most time opening presents, getting excited after each one and showing it off to every single adult in the room. You were sat on the small armchair; well Ben was, and you were perched on his lap, an arm around his neck and head rested on his shoulder. You were admittedly beginning to grow impatient at telling Ben the news; as much as you didn't want to tell him, waiting to do it was becoming painful because it only gave you more time to re-evaluate your decision. Thankfully, your mother had finished giving everyone her gifts, so it was the end and you could give Ben his. You rushed out of the room to where your coat hung up, pulling out a small box that was wrapped in paper and had a bow placed on the top. Ben noticed the box and furrowed his brows, even more so when you went to hand it to him.

"YN, we agreed we weren't doing presents this year?" he questioned, hesitantly taking the box from your hand, almost as if he expected it to explode in his hand. You nodded your head a little, understanding his confusion. Honestly, you forgot that you had agreed to not give each other presents this year because you had spent quite a lot of money so far on your relationship, first buying the house and then investing in a pet.

"I-I know, but you wouldn't have got any other gifts, and I think you'll like this one" You mumbled, urging him to open it and trying to hide your nerves from Ben as you knew he had a strange talent of noticing when you were hesitant to do something. He was like a human radar; he knew when you were happy, sad, angry, nervous, excited. He had a mental notebook of all your habits for each emotion, so he could probably tell that you were absolutely bricking it right now. But you assumed that he just thought this because you were nervous he wouldn't like the gift; which you were, but he didn't realise why. He took his sweet time opening the present, unwrapping it slowly considering he had all eyes of the room on him at that moment, alongside the glare of a camera that your mother had pulled out in excitement of the moment. As he opened the flaps to the small cardboard box underneath the wrapping paper, his eyes widened and his whole body froze. You can't deny, so did yours. He slowly pulled out the small stick out of the shadows of the box to reveal two small pink lines on the small screen.

"A-are you... is this real?" he mumbled, looking up to meet your eyes. You saw the tears beginning to pool at the bottom of his eyes, and you saw a glint of happiness. You nodded, awaiting his reaction.

"I tested positive."

You didn't know if this was a good reaction or a bad one because he didn't really show much emotion on his face. That was until a giant smile stretched across his face and his hands dropped the box so that he could wrap his arms around you. It was rather sudden, but he took you into the tightest hug you'd ever felt; his head rested against your shoulder and you felt the tears of joy seeping into your jumper. You obviously hugged back, relieved that he was actually happy about this.

"I-I'm gonna be a dad? W-We're gonna be parents?" He continued questioning, unable to believe any of this was true because he didn't think contentment like this could exist. You could barely speak your own words, only having the ability to nod and cry as well as Ben.  The whole family was now cheering with you, Lilah jumping on your lap to give you the biggest hug she possibly could, exclaiming that she couldn't wait to have a little cousin she could play with. Well, you assumed that's what she said, considering most of her words were indistinguishable.

"I can't believe this, this is the best day of my fucking life. God, we're gonna be parents in 9 bloody months, love. I love you so much, and you too" he gushed, tears brimming in his eyes once again and also yours. He bent down and gently kissed your practically-non-existent bump as he whispered "and you too" and you couldn't help but admire how well he took the news; you certainly didn't expect this much of a reaction from him and you felt a little stupid for ever second guessing yourself. Of course, being the bundle of nerves Ben tended to be, started questioning everything; "How far along are you? Have you been feeling ill? Because I'm sorry if I haven't been much help to make you feel better but I don't recall hearing you being sick of anything in the mornings so I don't know-"

"Ben, I've been fine so far; I'm only a month along and I've only had two instances of morning sickness, both of which you weren't home for so you don't have to worry. I suppose I've felt a little under the weather recently but nothing that I couldn't cope with." You explained, which brought comfort to Ben as he knew you weren't suffering too much in the time being. Though, he had heard of how harsh pregnancy can be for some women and he prayed to the Lord that you would not be one of the small percentage.

*****

After finding out the exciting news, Ben had been non-stop protecting you like you were a piece of glass; not that he didn't before, he just did it a lot more intensely now. Every time you tried to sit down or stand up, he would help you so that you didn't 'strain your back'. Every time you went up the stairs, he would walk right behind you. Every time you yawned, he asked if you wanted to go to bed and insisted you had an early night so that you and 'bean' were well rested. Oh yes, and he had nicknamed the growing child 'bean'. You, thankfully, now found yourself wrapped up in the covers of your duvet after a long Christmas day and could not wait to fall asleep. Ben had jumped in beside you and cuddled close so that he could rest his hand on your stomach and head on your shoulder. You were so close to being asleep, until Ben decided to create conversation.

"You know, I thought your boobs had gotten bigger, but I didn't want to mention it in case you thought I was complaining" He mumbled into your neck, which woke you up immediately. You slapped his arm and chuckled loudly, making him wince in pain a little.

"They've also gotten a lot more sore so no touching. And alongside that, I constantly need to pee, very gassy and am continually getting mood swings; so good luck for the next 9 months because you're officially dating a zombie" you countered, making him chuckle gleefully. He didn't care how disgusting or gross you may have seen yourself; you were still beautiful to him and he was going to let you know that every day.

"A gorgeous zombie who I love very very much and is literally bringing my child into the world; with my help, of course." He smirked, making you roll your eyes because you completely understood what he meant by 'his help'.

"I'm so happy that your happy and I can't wait to have a family with the love of my life"

"And I can't wait either" He grinned, feeling happiness he had never felt before in his life. Now, all he had to do was propose; luckily, he'd been planning it all along

[shkspr]

Hands: they could be holding a book, playing with their hair, fidgeting with headphones or that pink highlighter they keep buying refills for .. but instead they're reaching for you. Prioritizing the chance for an encounter over the certainty of their habits, their comfort, their own world. We learn so much of our world by touch, so to reach for another person and knit them into your life? Wow I'm gay for that. || Feet: dirty smelly, playing footsie isn't discreet, not dexterous

i’m gonna be 1000% honest i had that thought and then i was like. better not post that. and then i was like you know what? i have to post it because i need to see the funny things people will say about it. and boy y’all sure fucking delivered

manicpixiedreamalien:

Straight dudes were extra weird about it

crowleyraejepsen:

feet stinky

queerdove:

feet very stinky

jakegyllenhaalexistencehoax:

feet are too hilarious. fuckin flesh flippers with little vestigal fingerlets. god’s greatest comedic work to date

lessebian:

hands r used regularly in sex anyway so it's just like one step removed from having a hand kink

I'd also like to second "feet stinky"

billypotts:

because I can stroke my lovers face with my hand but if I do it with my toesies then a lot has gone wrong

tendertragedies:

because 'tenderness is stored in the feet' just sounds *wrong*

cheesewongivan:

Feet be on that nasty ground all the time