#reminds me of when i used to play tf2

[emeraldspiral]

What if those jokes about aliens not being able to tell if Dib is a boy or a girl is actually supposed to be a reference to Dib being a "butch-girl icon". Like, in-universe people can't tell if he's actually a butch lesbian or just a boy who dresses like a butch lesbian, when it's actually butch lesbians who dress like him.

[piink-u]

I hope people understand that when I say "I miss the dsmp" that I don't mean some people, some story lines, some general things, the fandom... Hells, I barely miss the part of the lore or characters I liked.

What I miss is crimeboys making an alleyway simply because they wanted to play more together after the lore for the day was done. I miss Tubbo spinning around on the spot trying to find a giggling Wilbur. I miss Wilbur smiling to himself and writing on chat just for us to see that "Tubbo reminds me of myself when younger". I miss Techno getting into the server tired as fuck just cause one of his friends called him and wanted to do absolutely nothing in Minecraft with him. I miss Wilbur staying awake until ungodly hours to keep Techno company when my man was farming potatoes and try-harding. I miss SBI and friends crashing into Phil's hardcore streams to talk about nothing at all and absolutely everything just to be together and laugh and say shit. I miss Tommy trying to make sense of something and the smile on his face after Wilbur would laugh heartily and say "That's quote book, for sure". I miss stories about late night gameplays of fucking TF2. I miss chat crying to Phil, his sigh, his giggle and his "What did they do?". I...

I guess I just miss them.

[cheemscakecat]

Tf2 comic details I noticed

Heavy and Medic very much give me the vibe that they know each other better than the rest of the team knows either of them combined.

This is the first time Heavy is seeing Medic again after the team split, but he’s likely been briefed on the mission to rescue the others. So he’d know about Medic being with Classic team. I think he knows what game doktor is playing.

Medic warning his bestie that Classic has a gun as soon as he can breathe enough to get the words out.

And then heavy proceeded not to care about the immortality machine, because his friend died to a man with no honor.

2. Found some more pain again.

Scou no, hon-ey. [Cries]

3. Emesis Blue parallel/foil?

RED Sniper was locked out of the room, but he managed to get in through a window and saved Spy.

RED Spy tried to use stealth to defeat Classic Sniper, and it would have worked if the man wasn’t a dirty cheater with robo-eyes. He got shot in the leg.

Even if he’s grumpy and standoffish about it, Spy did in fact give his Sniper some credit. And a cigarette when he wanted one.

I’m assuming the suit argument comes from not wanting the man -who takes kidney enlarging pills to produce more pee- to use the drip like a diaper and lecture him about Classic’s soiled britches.

It’s actually BLU Soldier that wants RED Sniper to die slow this time. Maybe because he still believes in Archibald being a good man, and he’s angry about what happened to Scout.

Spy had a really good opportunity to shoot Butcher Pyro, but decided to try and threaten the man with a bigger, faster gun anyways. That’s crazy, talking about “Take off the mask” like he’s gonna be threatened.

He gets shot in the leg for it. Other side, but still near the knee.

Soldier has to run for cover [because powerful gun] and the door locks behind him. He isn’t able to open it after Butcher Pyro runs out of bullets, leaving BLU Spy on his own.

And then he does get tortured.

Also, it seems like BLU doesn’t know RED Sniper very well at all. Spy had to be reminded of his Sniping moral code, but he was still salty about the cheater and bleeding near the knee.

Sniper doesn’t monologue. He did talk to Pauling about his parent situation, but why would he talk to the enemy teammate who shot half his leg off and left him to bleed out? Doesn’t sound like him to me.

4. RED Medic brought Sniper back to life after 12 hours, and post-comics I feel like the BLU team found out. “I seen the other side”. And…

BLU Medic killed RED on sight. Either he assumed he was with the Bloody Engineers, or he knows that guy’s crazy and he’s not taking chances.

Also for all he knows, that’s undead RED Hoovy. Given the fact that RED Medic invented the ubercharge, and Heavy was the first teammate to demonstrate it. And this nightmare hoovy is against Builders League, so how would he know better?

[lunatic-pudge]

Postal Dude SFW and NSFW Headcanons

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love Postal Dude. He reminds me a lot of Sniper, so that might not help. These can apply to basically any version of Dude you want, but I tend to use PD2 as the default Dude. Those some things would probably be different for PD1.

So yeah, I got stuff that I need to finish working on. I'm halfway done with this one TF2 ask I got. So Imma try to finish that up ASAP.

And warning for sexual stuff and mentions of violence, but considering that this is Postal, the violence part shouldn't be too much of a bother

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SFW

-Oh boy oh boy, where do I even begin with my baby boy Dude. Postal was something I always had a slight intrest in but now it hit me full force so here we are. Plus he's got some similarities to Sniper as well so it doesn't help either. I can't control myself anymore. I need this man pregnant and i need it NOW!

-But anyways, Imma start throwing some stuff out there. This poor babe has been through it. He's been through Hell and back, literally.  He's gotten better over the years, but there are times where things feel like they're getting worse again. He's gotten better with dealing with it. Though, he's not the best when comforting his partner if they're struggling mentally. He tries his best, but he's just so unsure of what to do. He's good at sitting with you, having an arm wrapped around you as you hold onto him, venting your problems out. It's easy for him to be a listening ear. Any advice from him is probably not good advice. If there's something you want, he'll get it for you. A blanket? Done. Some ice cream? Okay, what flavor. It's the little things

-If you wanna be with this mess of a man, you gotta be semi comfortable with the violence. He's gonna be coming home almost every night covered in blood, acting like he didn't just kill someone over a doughnut. And you gotta be comfortable with his massive collection of weapons. He'll teach you how to use them so you can protect yourself if he isn't around.

-Which leads me to the fact that he WILL kill for you. Whether it'd be to protect you, to prove that he loves you, or even out of jealousy. He can be convinced to not kill someone but it does take some persuasion. He just wants to keep you safe, and he trusts no one but you, especially since the people of Paradise are rather "interesting". Though, he might just wait for you to be out of sight to kill the person you wanted spared... Oops...

-His love language is acts of services and physical touch. Homie won't be able to keep his hands off you. Sexual or not, he NEEDS to feel you. It makes him feel sane to know you're there and real. And if you need help with something, he's there to help you with it. He'd love it if you'd go on errands with him. It'd make things less boring AND it means more time to spend with you

-Also, to be with this man means Champ needs to approve of you first. Champ is his baby, so if Champ doesn't like you then clearly you aren't worth his time. But if Champ approves of you and you love and spoil him, then you might just be marriage material

-He's such a goofball. He'll be constantly teasing you. Not a day goes by where he isn't lovingly tormenting you over something dumb. He does it cause he loves you. He means no harm with it and will let off it if asked. Don't let him know about any sensitive or ticklish spots of yours cause he WILL be using those spots against you

-Very big on being able to laze around with you and doing nothing. Laying together on the bed or couch, alcohol and snacks readily available, and music playing in the background. He's a bully in a sense where he would want his music playing, claiming to have good taste in music. So hopefully, you like the same music as him. So stuff like Tool, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, etc. (Though in my own little world, I could see him crying over Mitski, plz don't judge)

-If you're a crafty person and you make something for him, he could cry from how happy it makes him. He loves seeing you work your stuff. Doesn't matter what it is (drawing, painting, sewing, crocheting,  etc.) he likes watching. It's calming to him. He'd def cry if you made anything Champ related. If you draw or paint, youre art is getting hung up on the walls. If you sew, knit, or crochet and you make him or Champ something to wear, then they'll be wearing what you made them proudly. Though he won't wear said stuff outside cause he doesn't wanna dirty them. He'd feel bad for ruing all your hard work

-Have I mentioned how spoiled he is yet? Cause he is. He's a very needy baby. Constantly wanting your time, attention, and affection. Almost never giving you a second of privacy cause he needs to be in your personal bubble. Oh, you locked the bathroom door so you could enjoy a bath in peace for once? Too bad, cause Dude's already picked the lock and hanging out with you. And if you don't stop him, he'll join you in the tub, with or without clothes on. He's essentially a cat that will scratch at the door til you let him in. If you're at work or he's running errands, he'll be texting you nonstop. Keeping you updated on the chaos he's causing and spamming you with Champ pics.

-He also has an abundance of photos of you. Some of just you doing whatever (yes even sleeping), you and Champ, you and Dude, and even all three of you together. You may not even know all of the photos he has of you. And yes, he will show you off, proud he has such a baddie and no one else does. But you also need to know that he isn't scared to take some of the worst photos of you. We're talk 0.5x forehead photos that make it look like you got a big ass forehead. He doesn't care. He loves everything about you and nothing will change that.

-Love seeing you wear his clothes. He thinks it's so cute how big his shirts look on you, the smaller you are, the better. He's very encouraging of you wearing his clothes. Sometimes, it gets him a little too excited, especially when you don't wear any pants, may God help you when that happens...

NSFW

-Loves biting you, once he starts he can't stop. He will have you marked up from head to toe by the time he's done with you. He would like it if you did the same to him. He'll ecourage you to leave some extra marks on him and especially his more sensitive areas. Same rules apply for scratching as well. He loves seeing the all the bites, bruises, and scratches you leave on him. And he feels such pride when he sees them on you

-He's the perfect person to have a hand kink for. He's got them long, spidery fingers that can leave goosebumps along your skin. He'd gladly shove his fingers down your throat if you want. His hands do tend to be littered with cuts and burns but don't think that will stop anything. The extra pain adds to the experience for him

-Yeha, he's kind of a masochist. There's just something about the way you inflict pain on him that gets him going. You could come up behind him and bite him and that's all you need to do for him to get the message. He will let you WRECK him however you want

-Does like degraded by only a little bit. He wants to be called a slut and to be told how vile he is for wanting to be used like a toy. But sometimes he has limits. He does need praises though. He could go on for hours praising you, and he would like to be able to be praised as well. He'd rather be praised than degraded. Especially during aftercare. Tell him how much of a good boy he is and how well he did. He'll love you forever if you do

-Is it wrong to say that I can see him having a Mommy kink? This might be from hearing the one line of his but there's just something about him that screams "let me call you Mommy plz". halp

-I've been making him sound like such a total sub but he can be dominant if you want. He tends to be more on the rough side when he doms though so do be prepared for it. He'd love to have you tied up and blindfolded, helpless as to what he's gonna do next. Loves making you beg

-peghimpeghimpeghimpeghimpeghim, do it. Nothing's stopping you. You'll get some of the best noises out of him if you peg him. He's is such a dirty little slut. Peg him and make him beg!

[jermer10]

If possible could I ask for yandere tf2 mercs (all or your favourites, whichever you choose!) with an enemy reader?

I imagine the mercs aren't too happy about this as most of their time is spent apart.

Keep up the fics!!

TF2 yandere mercs with an enemy s/o

nsfw, gn reader | i love yandere mercs holy cow

tw: violence, yandere behaviour, sexual themes

drabbles under the cut :P

Scout: - insanely delusional - just as he acts with pauling, he convinces himself that you are totally and utterly in love with him, that you're saving yourself for him and that you specifically target him during battles because you feel the exact same love-rage he does when he sees you!! - every shot to the head, every punch, kick, scratch leads him to becoming increasingly infatuated - he treats you as if you're already his partner, and i mean hey, why wouldn't you be? you're showing all of the signs! you're practically slobbering over him the same way he does to you! - goes into a fit of jealous rage when someone else kills you - he prides himself of having a domination streak over you, letting you know who the big guy in charge is - this likely only serves to piss you off, unfortunately you probably don't feel much of the same towards him - even if you do return his feelings, you'll often find yourself feeling far too overwhelmed with his infatuation

Soldier: - a clingy mess - for a man who prides himself on being 'the epitome of what independent, masculine america stands for' (whatever THAT means), it seems he has attached himself to your hip - is not afraid to harm or (in the majority of cases) straight up kill someone who tries to separate him from you and has done this both in front of you and behind your back - doesn't even register the fact that you are the enemy, he decides that it was a mistake and you were always meant to be on his team - your escape attempts barely cross his radar, he always finds you and when he does he always chalks your absence up to some sort of foul play - this usually results in another death of a random loved one because "OF COURSE THEY WERE TO BLAME! THEY STOLE YOU FROM ME!" - has no boundaries or limits, not outright violent or aggressive towards you but will do anything in order to keep you beside him - all in all not a huge threat to your safety despite the fact that he is supposed to be your combatant, he's just incredibly annoying

Pyro: - the epitome of a sadistic yandere - they come off as a sweetheart, out of battle they buy you things, shower you in praise, act as if you aren't even enemies - but pyro enjoys hurting you, and this especially works in their favour when you're on the opposite team - utterly ruthless whether they're physically harming you or taunting you from across the battlefield, you leave the match feeling miserable - they love seeing you cry, half-assedly comforting you, and in turn causing you to grow this needy codependency where they say that they "don't reeeeaaally mean it!" and you somehow continue to believe that bold faced lie - they will eventually kidnap you, and yes they will torture you whether you've been good or not - no one even knows it was them who did it, they're just that convincing in their unassuming facade - don't get me wrong! they do love you in some sick way! they just only know how to express it through violence </3 (and NO you cannot fix them)

Demoman: - another clingy merc, only this time you're best friends - yes, he is aware you're supposed to be enemies on and off the battlefield, but his feelings for you outweigh the not so gentle reminders from his teammates that he needs to shoot you when he encounters you, not flirt - extremely manipulative, he uses his alcoholism as a cover for how intelligent he really is - would charm you with words of affection and chaste touches, he ensures that you are 100% into him before asking you out - then he isolates you from everyone you love, preoccupying all of your time, supporting you in any interest that doesn't require you to communicate with other people - he is CONSTANTLY there, whether you're aware or not. you literally cannot get away from his, quite literal, watchful eye - if you realize what he's doing, you sure as hell haven't made any steps to try and remove him from your life, nor have you set boundaries - after all, where would you even run? who would you even tell?

Heavy: - controlling and protective - he refuses to harm you, nor let anyone on his team harm you, this leads him to completely incapacitating you during battle so you're essentially useless - your teammates hate the extra attention you receive, they hate even more that you can't help whatsoever, eventually they tell you to stay at base, no use for you to come with if you're not doing anything - eventually when you do go missing, they just assume you left - heavy corroborates this story, telling the Administrator that he heard rumours of you packing up during the night and fucking off - little do they know you're tied up, gagged, and blindfolded in an unused, heavily locked and guarded maintenance room - he will not let you leave, he's more likely to pack up and take you back to russia than to ever let you see the new mexico landscape again - you are going to rot in a maintenance closet, or die trying to escape

Engineer: - very chill and normal surprisingly? - or so you think. he doesn't come off as creepy or odd the way the other mercs do, he is totally and utterly normal to a fault - he fights you during battle, kills you, dies to you, thanks you for a good fight afterwards - and then your devices begin spasming, your anti viruses go off, your phone calls have a strange staticky sound and a beeping you've never heard before - against your better judgement, you go to engie for help. he "fixes" them for you, and in the process gains your friendship and trust - you start hanging out with him outside of battles, unbeknownst to you that he is observing your every move and thought through your phone and laptop - uses this information about you to become closer to you, buying you gifts you're unable to afford for yourself, performing the kinds of romantic gestures you read about - if he wasn't constantly watching you and obsessing over your whereabouts, he would barely even qualify as a yandere!

Medic: - this guy is creepy, off-putting, odd, and strange! - he doesn't bother hiding his obsession with you, he actually goes out of his way to push your boundaries to see how far he can go before he breaks you - depending on how you respond will decide your fate with him, either way he is not going to let you go so you might as well adapt! - if you show outright disgust or hatred he will kidnap you and store you in the medbay, experimenting on you for hours with no relief, punishing you for your insolence - if you reciprocate he will still kidnap you, only this time he treats you like a doll, treating your various cosmetic 'ailments' in order to make you the perfect creature - he is incredibly strict and commandeering, if you step out of line for even a second he does not hesitate to torture you - he only rewards you with sexual favours and new clothes, you are quite literally just a doll for his enjoyment - he tells you he loves you, but you're not so sure you believe it

Sniper: - likes to hunt you - he treats you like how one would hunt a deer, seeing you as the ultimate prize and reward for his patience - wants you to find out about him, wants you to find it endearing and sexy, wants you to make the first move - he is the most self aware, snapping out of his obsessive haze regularly and vowing that 'this time will be the last' as he aims his sniper at your head and blows it off - but it never is. he is totally and utterly addicted to you, and it only gets worse the longer he waits for you to offer yourself to him, so he takes action - he corners you in the middle of a battle and takes you then and there, you'd think it was sexy if he didn't kill you immediately after - then a strange, sadistic game of cat and mouse ensues, he stalks you day in and out and you know, you entice, and you keep this little thing you have going a very well kept secret - the only relationship between the mercs that becomes mutually beneficial

Spy: - by far the most manipulative and cunning merc - he can spend years leading you on, flirting, dropping subtle hints of his overwhelming, consuming obsession with you - he showers you will affection and gifts, with luxury holidays and designer brands without ever actually committing to you - he lies about sleeping with other people to keep you wrapped around his finger, he lies about having another family, kids, another life - he treats you as if you're his special side piece, that no one must know about you, that what you have is a secret - he constantly backstabs you (literally and figuratively), both teams know your deepest secrets, they know your favourite position, they know the names of all your stuffed animals - he treats you like shit and promises to be better, all whilst staying up every night concocting another way to keep you intrigued with him, to keep you by his side, it eats him alive - you have a love/hate relationship, the most toxic man alive istg

[crabonfire]

Stupid and dumb tf2 headcannons cause I somebody do these on tiktok and they rile me up

Pyro regularly goes to strip clubs and he would fucking clap at the strippers like "😊👏👏" because he's a weirdo and I love it, demoman and Soldier would go too, both wanting to have a good time but soldier would probably be more impressed at how flexible they can be instead of everything else

They have movie nights where they vote and scout chooses action every single time while most mercs would want something else, they accuse him of being scared because he never ever chooses horror and he's like "pfft, no! Horror is just...lame to me." And engie snorts and was like "Yeah okay buddy." So they watched horror that night to prove it to him and surprisingly he was composed during it, but he didn't sleep that night, or the coming nights until he finally convinced himself it was just a movie and nobody was living in his closets.

Spy is a little too into weapons. One time when they all got a crate of weapons they had all been wanting when it came to his crate bro was practically SAVORING the knives and guns he was holding, he was sputtering French compliments while he was CARESSING those weapons. Everybody was so weirded out Sniper had to tell him to cut it out. He simply said that he was "impressed" by the refined beauty of said weapons. (if he starts moaning over those guns don't be surprised)

They also have game nights, it was scouts idea. Usually only Pyro, Engineer, Demoman, Soldier would join, while others would be spectating. They always go the same way, the game starts out simple, Engineer starts arguing with Soldier because he's not playing right, they start fighting and it turns into a bet to see who will win this time. Pyro and demoman will continue the game with Scout because they are so used to this, while Medic will cheer and egg them on. Spy would be like, "Look at you two, fighting like a bunch of children." But he finds it sooo entertaining.

Barbecue nights with engie!

Sniper smells like ASS. Anytime he's at the base, somebody has to remind him to shower, and he gets so embarrassed he's like, "Shit. Sorry." And just speedwalks to the shower rooms. When he comes back, he uses an insane amount of shampoo and cologne, so he actually smells really good afterwards. He's used to his own bad smell so he never actually notices.

Spy has greasy fucking hair. Like seriously, does he even wash that baklava? I don't think so (that voice line from Ms pauling proves me right) he's a man thay takes care of his physical attributes yes, but he doesn't ever find a need for his hair because he never takes that damn thing off, only when he showers and sleeps, that's it.

If for example, your dating him and after a while you want to see him without it, he's handsome yeah omggg so cute but GOD FUCKING DAMNNN THAT FUCKING HAIR MASHAALLAHHH brother wtfffff you have to shower with him and clean out his hair from him. He's like "it's not that big of a deal seriously" but after you wash it and it becomes soft and conditioned he becomes embarrassed realising how bad it really was. (Also, he probably has mask lines if it's been hot and he's been wearing it for too long)

Engineer has a shameful addiction of sweets. Like, I feel like he stress eats especially when his inventions go wrong and I have a headcannon back in uni when he was studying, since he was already so smart the MOMENT something was not perfect he would freak the fuck out and start eating chocolate so aggressively like

"What's wrong with this damn thing om nom mommmfh fuckin- mmmomom"

After he graduated and became a merc, since he got better and perfected his craft (for the most part) this rarely occurred, when it does tho, just know he's stepping out of his workshop, going to a gas station and buying so much candy. (This only happens when it's REALLY bad though.)

Heavy actually really likes American food. He thought he'd hate it, but he doesn't find it that bad. He likes cheeseburgers and steaks, very yummy. Medic doesn't like it when he eats them because they can be a tad bit unhealthy, but he's happy that it makes him happy.

Medic got into birds when he was young, feel like he had a bird feeder as a kid outside his house and would like to observe them from his window, when it got cold he'd offer them a place inside and ended up having bonds with them. Archimedes and his doves reminds him of childhood, a simpler time.

[earthstellar]

Battle Analysis: TFP S2 Episode 18 - New Recruit

I like how in the beginning of Smokescreen’s introductory episode, we get to see a decent little battle which serves to emphasise how each character works well independently and together in a fight. 

it actually reminds me a lot of how my father (who was a field medic in the Army) used to tell me about how some of his casualty extraction missions went, in terms of how Ratchet is positioned with the others in formation etc.

Then I started thinking about it, and I thought it might be a good scene to go over in a little more detail. 

So, since I’ve never done a battle analysis before, I figured I’d try covering this one! :) 

The Situation at Hand 

It’s worth keeping in mind that the setup here is that a Cybertronian pod has crashed down to Earth’s surface, and the Autobots are unable to ascertain if it is an enemy pod or not. 

So Optimus asks Ratchet to bring his medical kit, in the event that it is a fellow Autobot who may need medical attention, which is a reasonable decision and places Ratchet in the field with good purpose. 

They leave without Bulkhead, as he is still recovering from prior injuries.

The order in which they arrive on scene via ground bridge is notable: 

Bumblebee is a scout, so he’s out of the ground bridge first. 

Arcee is supporting Bumblebee as spotter/additional firepower; Both her and Bumblebee are in “on point” positions, meaning they are the most exposed forward. 

Optimus is, in this situation, the heaviest hitter, so he takes a central position-- This also allows him to remain in reasonable proximity to all members of the away team, making it ideally easier for him to command. 

Ratchet is in the rear position, slightly offset to Optimus’ left, giving both Optimus and Arcee good cover of him if things happened to kick off immediately upon arrival on scene. 

This is a good deployment arrangement! 

Arcee and Bumblebee proceed forward and get to the crashed pod first, which makes sense; This is why they’re on point. 

But then the group spaces out a little bit, which isn’t ideal; Oh shit, it’s Decepticons!!! Mostly Insecticons. 

Immediately we see Arcee and Bumblebee close in together, something they’re probably familiar with and were possibly trained to do, given that they are in complimentary positions in deployment most of the time. 

But this leaves Ratchet exposed, and you can actually see in his posture here (sorry for the blurry screencap, this is a very short moment and the camera moves over fairly quickly) that Ratchet is wary of the source of enemy fire and appears to be trying to move closer to where Optimus is generally at. 

Again, this makes sense: Medics are, unfortunately, a huge target on the battlefield. (Geneva Convention treaties don’t apply here, and even if they did, most of the time they’re just ignored in reality. It’s not great.) You DO NOT want to be in the open anyway, but especially not when you are a very easily identifiable, highly desirable target for enemy fire. 

As a medic, you aren’t just charging in with any others, you’re constantly strategically trying to figure out the best way to provide support and not die while doing it. While Ratchet does have one of his wrist blades deployed here, keep in mind, Ratchet does not have a blaster or long range weaponry. He’s at a particular disadvantage in this situation. 

So Ratchet’s best chance for cover and his best position to provide support is with Optimus, who is more likely to be hit (owing to slower speed and larger size compared to Bee and Arcee). Thus giving him more protection and allowing him to serve as functional support. 

For those of you who have played TF2, this is probably the most obvious part of why the Medic/Heavy combo is so good. It provides maximum benefit to both people/players. 

(At the same time, the reason he didn’t follow Optimus from the get-go is likely because since Bee and Arcee have lighter armour, they might be at greater risk of injury from just one or two shots, compared to Optimus who’s a bit hardier. So he took a middle position, which unfortunately left him with no immediate cover.) 

Unfortunately, Ratchet is also old. So he’s instantly pinned by a fuck off huge Insecticon; There’s no way most could have reacted in time to dodge this, but especially not him. 

What I especially like here though, is that the impact of this hit appears to genuinely stun him. 

It happens quickly, but you can see how he’s looking straight forward here, his limbs are out to his sides-- It seems to take him a full second to recover and actually look up. 

While Ratchet is just about pinned, the Insecticon does actually leave a noticeable amount of space in between them, which makes me think this impact definitely hit Ratchet pretty hard; He has enough space here to take a swing with his blade, but he doesn’t. 

It’s interesting because this is a pretty good shot; The Insecticon has a fully exposed torso here, which would be a good area to target with a blade as their armour seems thinner to allow for greater range of movement and speed. 

But! Not taking the opportunity here was also a solid choice. 

Ratchet, being smaller in terms of height, may have been able to get a good jab into the torso and upward with his blade, which would likely have caused some decent damage in a sensitive area and may have even allowed for a large tear to form in the armour, leaving the Insecticon more vulnerable to blaster fire or any follow up impact to the chest/waist. 

At the same time, in the moment, Ratchet is now trying to recover rapidly from a hit that was hard enough to stun him while also having to evaluate if the risk of taking any action here would be worth it. The Insecticon could easily close in, especially with greater speed...

...And of course, the Autobots are experienced at working with each other in the field. Ratchet also likely understood that Arcee and Bee are still close enough to provide assistance, and might have made the call to depend on their aid rather than risk damaging his wrist blade-- Which is still a medical tool, and his primary purpose in the field is to assist others if/as needed. If his wrist blade is damaged or dulled while trying to puncture Insecticon armour, that would leave him less capable at his primary function here.

 Arcee ends up coming in from the side to take the opportunity instead, which is quickly proven to have been a good choice of action. And very good situational awareness on Arcee’s part, too! 

Arcee is grabbed by the Insecticon after giving it a reasonably heavy kick, but is able to get out of it’s grasp with a solid backflip-- Ratchet just does not have the flexibility or frame type to allow for this type of escape, especially not after just having been stunned by a full-body impact. 

It was the right call for Ratchet to leave it open so Arcee could land the hit. 

Sure, the Insecticon may not have been able to grab Ratchet in the same way, but Arcee has the reaction speed to match, and created a ton of distance in between her and the enemy almost instantly-- Something Ratchet could not have done if the Insecticon further advanced on him, as the boulder he was rammed into limits his movement options.

We then see that Optimus has also moved back over to close the gap between everyone, with Arcee next to Bee (although hard to see in this particular shot) and Ratchet now in a better position to provide support (behind and to Optimus’ right), even though he did not have to move himself-- Optimus moved over to him, instead. 

Smokescreen shows up, initially jumps over Bee and Arcee to take point position, then leaps back-- And firmly plants himself in front of Ratchet as well, while also maintaining enough distance to still remain on point. 

It’s worth remembering that Smokescreen at the very least went through boot camp for the Iacon Elite Guard (even though this seems to have mostly been a ploy by Alpha Trion and we don’t know what the actual selection process was like for any of this), so Smokescreen does seem to have some ability to know where to position himself in battle, even if he lacks experience and his tactics amount to “fire a lot at the enemy or in their general direction”. lmao he’s still learning though, it’s fine. 

As far as Smokescreen is concerned, there was a gap exposing their medic, and they only have one heavy hitter (Optimus), so he’s put himself in a position where he can cover Ratchet, easily move to group with the other faster, lighter weight bots if an advantage opens up for them to move forward, or move laterally to provide fire support for Optimus if need be. 

Honestly, not a bad position to take, it’s just the way he went about it and his “shoot everything” approach which is problematic, lmao. 

At this point, he ignites the energon fuel leaking from the pod by accident, which leads to a bit of an “oh shit run away” sequence-- But we can still see that they maintain a reasonable formation in falling back: 

Ratchet, in the rear and most defended position, is now first out. Arcee on the far left is running up ahead to get in front of or alongside him, to regain a more on point position. Bee is following her, slightly slower to keep the formation reasonably tight. Optimus is taking the right side, and Smokescreen follows suit slightly to the right as well but in a good position to turn around and take an immediate point position in the opposite direction if needed to provide some rear cover.

They successfully bail behind some rock formations for cover from the burning fuel explosion, and you can see the order in which they get there, consistent with the previous sequence. 

They land in the appropriate order: Arcee, Ratchet, Bee, Optimus, then Smokescreen last.

And that’s pretty much it, the explosion took out the Insecticons and Smokescreen proceeds to embarrass himself immediately. lmao 

This whole little scene is a particularly good example of the Autobots sticking to their roles in battle while also understanding how best to operate and work together as a team when deployed. 

Although it’s fairly short, it showcases everyone’s respective roles in battle very well! 

Bee is an excellent scout, and we know that, but it’s nice to see him actually handling things effectively in the field; Notice how he’s one of the few who didn’t get pushed around too much here! When the team had to close in together, they did so with Bee’s general position as their defensible point, and stayed more central to where their fire was being most effective. 

Arcee got to showcase her skills in a few ways here, speed and situational awareness both being critical. It would have been easy for her to fixate on what her and Bee were doing, but she knows better than to get lost in a single focus and came to Ratchet’s rescue very effectively. 

Ratchet was ready throughout to provide support if needed, and when he got attacked, he knew to rely on his teammates to assist him rather than risk taking additional damage as the sole medic. 

Optimus did a good job (as expected) being both their sole heavier gunner and their field commander-- Double duty, as Bulkhead’s still out of commission. He was clearly right to order a retreat when he did, and didn’t bother fixating too much on Smokescreen’s sudden appearance, instead remaining focused on the task at hand. Not that any of this is surprising, but it would be interesting to compare his field command style to Ultra Magnus’. 

Smokescreen did a good job of figuring out where to fit himself in during battle; He just really needs to stop fucking around, lmao, but he also just woke up after a fairly long stasis and he has very limited actual field experience prior to this, so that’s worth keeping in mind! 

---

Hopefully this was interesting; I just woke up so I’m still sipping a coffee lmao but I wanted to write this up while I had a little time. :) 

If you read all this, thank you so much!! :) <3 

[miintsprigz]

Hiya!:] Was wonderin if you could do some headcanons for Scout and a GN!Reader that loves to sing and dance when they're alone? If this isn't exactly your cuppa tea, or if you dunno how to write this, you can ignore this request, I ain't forcin ya./pos

Hope you have a good day/night/evening/afternoon !!

I started writing last night and then forgot to save and lost EVERYTHING AAAH

I absolutely ADORE this prompt because it’s something I do, and I found the perfect song for it the other night to boot. I hope this is good—-

Song used as inspiration: “Knock Three Times” by Tony Orlando and Dawn

Character: Scout (TF2)

The mercs had finally left for the day, and for the first time in a long time, home base was vaguely quiet.

You adored them, each and every one of them, but the volume and sheer chaos of having all nine of them around could grate on you from time to time. Sometimes it was nice to just have the place to yourself for a little while.

As you got out of bed after hitting snooze a few times, it seemed as though you may have had your chance.

On went the radio as you started mixing some batter for a late pancake breakfast. It wasn’t long after you started heating up the skillet that one of your favorite songs came on.

You knew that meant only one thing.

At first, you hesitated, so used to a head poking out from around the corner, or a voice calling out just down the hall. But hey, the fellas were all at work! If there was any time to jam out, it was now.

So that’s exactly what you did. Singing along as though auditioning for some kind of contest (in your mind, if nothing else, you were winning), and turning the kitchen into your personal dancefloor.

Caring not how you looked or sounded. Simply filling the open air with music and making this little spot your happy place.

It was only a few songs later, and after stacking up a couple pancakes and starting to cook some bacon up…that you realized that you were not, in fact, alone.

A voice rang out.

“So, when’s the talent show audition, slugger? I think you’re gonna make it!”

You jumped probably a full foot backwards, eyes popping open. With a somewhat sheepish smile, the Scout poked his head through the doorway from the hall.

“How. Long have you been there.”

“Uh, since about…second or third song?”

“Why are you not at work???”

“…can’t a guy call out every so often? Geez.”

Cursing yourself under your breath, one hand came up and curled over your face.

“…remind me to check the rooms next time.” You could feel a rush of blood to your face, and the laughter of your surprise audience didn’t help.

Approaching you, he playfully bumped his shoulder against yours, elbowing you.

“Aw, c’mon, (Y/N)! Lighten up a little. It ain’t a crime ta have a good time. Hey. Look at dat. I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it.”

As you peeked through your fingers to pull a face at him, he smirked.

“There ya are.”

“You’re not gonna like…tell the others, right?”

“Don’t get why you’re so worried, but nah, I won’t tell ‘em if ya don’t want me to. Whoop, look out, your bacon’s gonna burn.”

“Oh!”

“I got it, I got it.”

Sure enough, he’d already caught it and got everything onto the plate…not-so-sneakily taking a piece for himself.

“Really though, you’re pretty good! I heard ya since you started this whole jam session, and honestly? You got some pipes on ya!”

Well, now you were just blushing at the compliments.

“And those moves? Engie’s been wantin’ ta start some…square dancin’ lessons, I think? Oh, he’d love dat.”

“You think so?”

“Sure! …(Y/N), ya only do solo dance parties, huh?”

“Uh…I guess? I dunno, I think I’d get too nervous to dance if I was in front of anyone.”

Scout raised an eyebrow at you, and looked to the side for a second, like he was checking to see if anyone else was around.

“…wanna know a secret?”

“Hmm?”

“I do the same friggin’ thing.”

You couldn’t help but smile. He did tend to play his music pretty loudly, but you were never sure exactly what he was up to in his room.

No sooner did he say that than a song that both of you happened to love came on. He eyed you slyly, biting back a grin.

You had to try your best not to crack a smile yourself. “What are you doing…”

He motioned with one hand out, trying not to laugh. “(Y/N), quick…before that gets cold. One song?”

Well, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little nervous. Shrugging your shoulders, you chuckled. “Can’t hurt. Just promise you won’t laugh.”

“Nah.” He stared off sheepishly again. “…You promise da same?”

Nodding your head quickly, you followed his lead.

It was awkward at times for sure—you each couldn’t read the other’s mind, and they didn’t quite move as you thought they would sometimes—but in spite of that, it was fun. Almost as fun as dancing by yourself.

By the end, both of you were beaming.

“Hey, maybe I oughta talk ta hardhat about that hoedown thing.”

“I think I could try that.”

“Havin’ you as a dance partner, I think it might be kinda fun!”

“Aw gosh.”

“Whaaat? I’m not bad, you can’t deny that.”

You rolled your eyes, handing him a plate before you helped yourself.

“…aw, you shouldn’t have.”

“Oh shush, I knew you were gonna ask, Scout.”

“…guilty.”

[gophergal]

Author Commentary - I Know Where To Look (Chapter 2)

Howdy, y’all! Welcome back to another commentary post, this one will be a lot shorter than the last (probably?) I know that’s ironic given the extra length of the chapter, but this one just required less interesting research and decisions.

When does the fic take place, by the way?

So, I have a very specific headcanon for when canon materials take place in TF2 that may slightly contradict actual canon. Because of that, I am of the opinion that the Mercs were hired in ‘64, and this fic starts in May of that year. All of the Meet The Team videos take place between 64 and 68.

For your convenience, a list of relevant (and not so relevant) HC ages for characters as of 1964:

Heavy is 40, as mentioned in the chapter (his birthday is in October)

Medic is 46, though he looks young for his age despite going grey (This is relevant. Also his birthday is in March)

Scout is 19

Sniper is 22 (wear some fucking sunscreen, man)

Spy 42

Engineer is 38

On that note, I’m also taking advantage of the fact that MtT is in universe PR, so keep that in mind when characterization and events contradict them. I see the mercs’ personalities in MtT as exaggerations of what they actually have going on, and I think that is somewhat supported by the way they are presented in the comics, but I would never claim that is 100% the “correct” interpretation.

For example, Pyro at this point creeps almost everyone out, but only scares Scout. The fact that their own team is terrified of them in MtP is an exaggeration. Also Pyro related: you might notice that I typically use they/them for them, but in dialogue and prose, he/him is used. That will change, it’s just a result of the team assuming that Pyro is a man, since the rest of them are men. It’s just something that will change as the team gets closer.

Heavy’s backstory memory in the shower was just something I came up with on the spot. It felt right. Might have been projecting a bit about the whole “seeing your deceased parent in your reflection” thing. Who knows. Either way, every time I’m reminded of the characters’ who’s backstories we know, I’m just reminded of how if tf2 wasn’t comedic the damned franchise would just be a drama.

Also, the “victory round” (I’m blanking on what it’s actually called in the game, but you know when the winning team gets crits at the end?) fills me with genuine rage and I almost want to punch my laptop whenever I play tf2. However, if I did that I wouldn’t be able to write/draw more Red Oktoberfest queerness.

That Kotlet cooking scene is based on this recipe. I’ve never actually made it myself because meat has gotten really expensive, but it does just remind me of meatloaf. That’s all

“Horse Feathers” is something my maternal grandfather used to say all the time instead of “bullshit” or “goddamnit.” I thought it would be funny to make Engie talk like my papal *shrugs*. Speaking of Engie, he ISNT HOMOPHOBIC I PROMMY. That man is aspec and an eternal third wheel. He’s just uncomfortable with being involved in non-practical problems.

[pysoch]

Hi everybody I saw an awesome edit on TikTok that made me borderline cry so I'm going to make everybody miserable and cry with me and more of my angst headcanons (I post silly ones on other platforms) :3

Spoilers for the comics btw!!!!

Tf2

=======================

- Spy knows Scout never learned to do his own laundry, so he does it for him.

- Scout stole Spy's disguise watch one time to play as prank on him, but when he looked in the mirror to take off the mask, he froze and took off the watch because he felt a chill all of a sudden. The entire time this happened, Engineer saw from passing in the hallway.

- Spy secretly loathes when the other mercs act as a caregiver for Scout. Not because he doesn't think Scout deserves support, but because it reminds him of the possibilities he did have of balancing his lives.

- When Scout dies in the battlefield, Spy has to force himself to look away, even with the knowledge of respawn.

- Spy does cry, but he always goes to a certain area outside and cloaks.

- In the one year period where Spy did seem to be prevalent in Scout's life (comic flashback/dream Scout had at Heavy's house), I think Spy gave up smoking (ignore the cigarette in the panel!!!) for both his mom, and for Scout. He got back into the habit after fleeing.

- Spy and Scout have the same small eating habits; twisting their forks when eating pasta, squinting their eyes when they take a bite, and eating the crust off their breads first.

- Engie and Scout get along well because of father issues. Scout with having an absent one, and Engie with expectation.

- When they were set for death row in the comics, Scout curled on his bunk and sobbed in his sleep about how he never got to say bye to his ma. Spy after this exchange cloaked (I like to imagine like the miniature butterfly knife, he has other teeny gadgets), disguised as Scout, and used a payphone to say bye so that both of them would have closure.

All I got for now LOL

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

HELLO TF2 COMMUNITY :D

Do you like fanmade TF2 AUs? Do you like mysteries? Do you like deep DEEP lore? Are you good at solving riddles?

If your answer is yes to all of those, then yay!! And buckle up.

We're going to play a little game. When you click on the link right above the :readmore: all the way down there, you will find yourself at a blank webpage that looks a bit like this:

This webpage will ask you for a specific password for you to enter. If you get the password correct, you will be granted access to the [TOP SECRET]-CLASSIFIED MANN FILES. If you get the password wrong, you will not be granted access to the files.

The password is a four digit number. I will be giving you a riddle to help you find out what this password could be. You might need to use a bit of google for this one:

A little girl with the last name Won goes to an arcade in Korea.

At the arcade, she wins a pinball game.

That was yesterday.

But the pinball machine was cheap, old and rusty.

So all she got was a single coin from it. It was the lowest currency one could get in Korea.

What did the little girl win yesterday?

I know this looks hard, but I promise, you do not have to be Korean to know the answer to this. All you need to know is that, currency in Korea is won (원). I can't give you more information since it may spoil the game, but if you are not sure about anything, you can easily search it up and it'll pop up first thing

If you really find yourself struggling with the answer, I suggest you try reading the riddle out loud ;)

You will be given 24 hours to find the password and get it correct before I reveal the answer for everyone. The timer starts the moment this post is published onto my blog.

There are only 3 rules you should know:

1. If you find the password before everyone else, please don't make it public!! Don't post about it, or tell everyone else. You can tell your friend if they ask for it, sure, but don't ruin the fun for those who still want to try and solve the password!

2. You can not ask for more clues, sorry, but that tiny riddle was the most thinking my brain could take for the week, and I can't make more mysterious clues and riddle :(

3. If the 24 hour timer goes off and the majority of you still haven't managed to find the password, don’t worry, you can always ask for more time. If I get more than 5 non-anon asks in my inbox asking for more time, I will extend the timer.

Anyways, best of lucks finding the password, and have fun :)

[TOP SECRET] CLASSIFIED MANN FILES- PROJECT DOPPELGANGER

(EDIT: hello all! So it seems that the links on this post are causing some problems for a lot of you guys, and the whole password part seems to work just fine but for some reason if won't show the files properly once you guessed it. So if you managed to get the password right but the webpage you were redirected to only shows you blank pages, please pop me a quick message through either inbox or DM so I can get you set right up with a shared google doc file which actually works. Thank you so much for your patience and so sorry for the inconvenience and this technical error kind of ruining the whole vibe :'(

P.S. if you can, the link works a bunch times better when on PC!)

Now that all that jazz is out of the way, here are all of my rambles!

A brief summary for those who are new:

This post is part of a big lore-drop for an AU of mine called Job Switcheroo Mercs, which is basically an AU where all the TF2 mercs have their jobs and classes switched around. If you want to learn more about the AU, you can go check out my #job switcheroo tag on my blog. You might need it for the context.

For those who already know the basic gist of the AU, but just forgot the what the heck this AU is even about, here's a little reminder.

Of course, big hugs and kisses to all my lovely Job Switcheroo AU fans out there. We were a pretty niche group but you guys gave me so much love and support all throughout it and I appreciate it so so so much. THANK YOU <3

[dthmet]

It came to me in a dream. /j

I’m only posting this because I need somewhere to put my shenanigans. (And also so my next post makes more sense but shhhhhh secret)

Basically, me and my friends all started playing this Burger game on roblox together in Tf2 cos and it was fun as FUCK

I jokingly said “what if I made a Burger King AU were they all work at burger king” I was gnna write a fanfic (think I still might) about them all instead of being mercenaries, they are burger king employees, and the thought hasn’t left me SINCE.

So, here are some little ideas I thought would be funny to put down somewhere other than my notes app:

Scout chasing Spy around the kitchen areas with a tray, trying to hit him with it. (Actually happened in game, it was funny as fuck)

Medic being weirdly protective over his “area” of the staff room, were he sits and experiments on the food. (Wait, where did he find all of those medical instruments??? And is that… a mutated burger???)

Spy wearing suits or turtlenecks under his uniform, he says it’s because at least SOMEONE has to look presentable in the establishment. (Engie then reminds him he’s working at a Burger King, not a 5 star restaurant. Spy then spends the rest of the work day moping around and mumbling about how “he could’ve done better than this”)

Engineer surprisingly being a clean freak and gets heavily offended when Sniper forgets to wash his hands in the employee bathroom. (After that Engie refused to let Sniper be anywhere near the customers or kitchen until Engie made sure Sniper’s hands were 100% clean.)

Pyro has almost burnt down the whole building MULTIPLE times. Any kind of food you get from them is always somewhat burnt, or has some unwanted candy that pyro got from god knows where lodged into it.

Heavy has scared off so many rude customers, whenever somebody has an issue with an entitled customer who’s just there to complain and scream for their manager, they always call Heavy in to stare them down and calmly (yet intimidatingly) explain that they need to leave— or whatever applies to the situation.

Demo has shown up drunk to work so many times, it’s a miracle he hasn’t been fired yet. But also occasionally if a rude customer tries bothering him, he’ll cuss them out with very slurred Scottish slang/insults— only reason he hasn’t been fired for that yet is because no one can even understand what he said. (“Awa’ an’ bile yer heid! Ye bawbag!”)

Solider is a hit with the middle aged men, he often yells about america and waves the American flag around the building, once Solider had gotten ahold of the speakers in the Burger King and started blasting the American anthem on LOOP. (He was not allowed to uses the speakers again after that.

Sniper is absolutely horrible with the customers, he’s always either saying too much or too little (and usually when he is saying too much it’s because he started panicking, and then told some customer all about how Australia is like, definitely over sharing about his own personal life in Australia). He ends up accidentally putting the customers off of their food by sharing some gross detail about the bugs or animals there, he then sits outside at the back and cringes over how stupid that was of him.

I May return soon with more Burger King AU info… shhhhh

[sittin-on-the-rooftop]

I haven’t been on in a while but HERE TAKE THIS TF2 SMUT THAT IVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR 4 HOURS GOODBYE

When the sniper x reader smut

This is RED sniper x BLU reader btw

DO NOT PLAY TF2 AT 3AM‼️(GONE WRONG) (SNIPER KISSED ME😱)(GONE SEXUAL)(* CRAZY *)

— tolle

And so, you stepped on the battlefield for the first time. The usual BLU sniper was ill, so you were his replacement in battle. The team had shown you the ropes, and treated you like you were actually part of the team. You weren’t *worse* than the BLU sniper, but still, you couldn’t navigate the battlefield like an experienced mercenary could. 

You were climbing the ladder the highest vantage point on the map. The team told you that if you could hold down this spot for a while, you could quite possibly win this match. Little did you know, someone else had already been in that spot, and you’d have to put up a fight to stay there. 

— 5 minutes earlier —

The crackling of spy’s voice through a Walkie-Talkie could be heard from the tower.  

— I heard the replacement on the other team is garbage. This should be an easy win Mundy, we’re counting on you. Over.

—  Shut it, spook. Over. 

The RED sniper put the Walkie-Talkie down, resuming his business. A few

Minutes later, the creaking of a ladder could be heard from the nest. It was you. The replacement sniper. Naturally, the RED sniper hid behind a crate, readying his shiv. A short (you’re a short king now mothefucker), (h/c) boy opened the trap door, dusting himself off. Then, equipping his rifle, he got to work.

The sniper observed your movements carefully, ‘waiting for the perfect moment to strike’ while actually observing how charming you looked. As you chambered a round, you felt a blade being held to your throat. 

— Thought you were alone up here, mate?

The RED sniper let out a small chuckle, pressing the shiv against your neck, but not yet drawing blood. You didn’t know wether your face was pale or flushed at this point. You were facing imminent death, but at the same time you thought that chuckle of his was kinda.. dare I say hot?

— Please. don’t kill me.

A panicked whisper escaped your lips, not knowing what else you could say.

— Give me one good reason not to, love.

— You just called me love and that’s gay, dipshit.

Sniper wasn’t too phased. Flipping you around, he pinned you against the wall, still holding his weapon firm.

— Huh. You’re blushin’! That’s real cute. And gay. 

— Shut up and die, asshat

— You think you’re in a position to call me names? Let me remind you that your life is in my hands, handsome. 

You shudder at that remark, your face somehow turning even more red as you feel your cock strain against your pants. You mutter a short curse to yourself, but sniper hears it anyway.

— ah fuck..

— This can go two ways, mate. Either you get the fuck out of my tower before I kill you, or we… relieve each other of our -khm- problems, and neither of us come to this tower ever again. 

— I think I’ll take the second option…

Sniper’s face was also kinda red, but looking down, you could see clearly how aroused he was too. The both of you just stood there, waiting for the other to make a move, when you decided to knock the shiv out of his hand. 

— Oh stop making this awkward and kiss me already. 

You pulled him in by his collar, the noises of surprise muffled by your lips against his. As he parted for air, he panted, 

— You’re good, I’ll admit it. But not as good as me. 

He pulled you back towards him, resuming what you were doing . His hand caressed your cheek, deepening the kiss.

Meanwhile, your hands wandered to undo his fly, and palm his bulge through his underwear.

— bigger than I thought. 

— What’s that supposed to mean, love?

Once again, he pinned you back  against the wall, unbuttoning your shirt. He started to leave hickeys all over your neck and jaw, his hands undoing your fly. 

You let a breathy sigh escape your lips.

— Just fuck me, ya tease.

— You asked for it. Take your pants off.

— that’s gay as fuck!

— Take your damn pants off, we haven’t got much time till the battle ends, let’s make it count.

You took your pants and underwear off, and sniper slid his to his knees, his cock springing out. He made his way over to the crate, sitting down on it and lathering some lube onto his cock. You took the hint, sitting on his lap, straddling him. 

— Other way around, love. 

He whispered in your ear, kissing your cheek as you turned around, your ass grinding against his dick. He reached around to stroke your length. It became clear he knew what he was doing, pushing you closer and closer to your release as your gasps and moans grew louder and louder. However, just as you were about to go over the edge, to your devastation, he stopped.

— Fuck you…

— That was only a warm-up, beaut. Now sit down. You know what I mean.

Doing as you’re told, you sat back down, but this time, aligning sniper’s dick with your entrance. It hurt as you tried to push yourself down on him. You clenched your teeth in pain and sucked in a breath..

— That’s fucking.. massive…

— You’re cute, aren’t ya. What a delicate little thing you are. You’ll just have to get used to it, sugar. Will this help~?

He started to stroke your dick again, overshadowing your pain by waves of pleasure, his cock now balls-deep inside your ass. After you’ve gotten used to him inside of you, he stopped pumping up and down, only stroking and teasing. 

— C’mon man… please…

— You can’t be the only person feeling the pleasure now, can you. We assassins do what we do for something in return, love.

He whispered into your ear, making you shiver. 

— Now bounce.

As told, you started bouncing up and down on his length as he resumed his ministrations. His breathing became heavier, and those noises soon turned into pants and moans of pleasure. He started thrusting too, eliciting a loud moan out of you as he hit your prostate. 

— Fuck, shit, right there man~

— You’re- nghh~~ welcome

 The lewd noises you both made turned you on even more as he pumped you closer and closer to the edge. His thrusts became sloppier, and so did his hands, and you could tell that he was close too. 

— Oh, Sniper, holy shit~~

A long, drawn out moan passed your lips as you came all over sniper’s hand, but still, he didn’t stop thrusting.

— Too much, too much~~!

You yelled, overstimulated as fuck. It felt kinda good to be pushed past your limit. Shortly after , sniper came inside you with one last thrust, his dick hitting your prostate once again as he came inside your ass. Hot, sticky liquid filled you up, some dripping out as sniper lifted you off of him. 

— That was… 

— Fucking delightful is what it was.

You replied, turning around and collapsing onto his shoulder. 

— Now how the hell am I gonna clean this up…

[doedipus]

vaguepost

I am constantly reminded that a lot of people who are really into fps games have very confusing and counterproductive ideas about what an online multiplayer experience should be like. the vibe keeps coming back to "if the game isn't letting me pubstomp freely then it's bad" and it's very jarring

like it's not just an fps thing and these people do exist in other genres of competitive multiplayer games, but coming from FGC circles I'm so used to like, sportsmanship being a factor in how people think about competition. like if you want to just steamroll through a game with little resistance play singleplayer/co-op games or play bots in tf2 or something, but in multiplayer settings, you have to have some level of respect for the other people in a lobby and understand that they're also there to have a good time.

...which is why sbmm is good! when implemented competently it makes sure that everyone in a lobby is of comparable skill and has an equal chance to learn and do something cool! nothing is more demotivating in a competitive game than being on a receiving end of a pubstomp, and games should try to make sure new players don't just get fed repeatedly into meat grinders for better players' amusement! gah!!

[studentofetherium]

any thoughts/opinions on overwatch?

replaced TF2 as the game that my friends played at the time, and since this was a time when i still played games with friends a lot, i borrowed some money from a friend and got the game, and played a lot of it at the time. never paid him back because 18 months later, we would share words for the last time. he may or may not hate me now for unrelated reasons, but that might be a different person. i had blocked and then unblocked both their numbers, so naturally i couldn't tell the difference, especially with how long it had been since we had last talked. it was probably the other guy, especially since he had tried to reach out on friendly terms through steam a few years before. plus the other guy tried to kill me once. that said, the one i borrowed money from loved using the r-word, and i had a running joke of always misspelling his name in chat, so i understand why those little irritations plus the ghosting could provoke that kind of reaction? a yet third friend was more polite at the time, and actually signed his message with a name (i had also blocked and unblocked his number), and so i accepted an apology, and told him that we might see each other again. when i get a new phone number, i need to give it to him so that maybe it can still happen. i'm sure it will. although, that friend was never one of the ones that was playing overwatch. he kinda reminded me of Daniel Radcliffe, in a way, but also we were never close, which i suppose is why he might not have felt betrayed when i ghosted everyone but people are fickle, and you can never really know how they feel about you

that is to say, no

[rubyyogurt]

roblox classic event is making me feel things.

its like i shouldve expected exactly what it was, just another marketing stunt that wants you to FOMO-buy things, but the little kid in me was hoping id be able to play the game i played when i was 8 again.

its like all the things i remember, all the textures and the sounds (mostly) but none of the heart. all replaced by dumb corporate bullshit.

i think my grief comes from the fact that old roblox is just gone. theres recreations and i can always play old studio clients, but its not the same and it will never be the same.

the first game i ever played was Pokemon Arena X, an arena fighter/roleplay game made by SomeRandomGuysrg. kicked ass. in its later life i got a cool skeleton magikarp gifted to me from an admin because i won a magikarp race across the map

i think just in general i miss when the internet was a place with lots of small communities, because now its like, 4 big websites and so many people you have to sort through to find friends. it reminds me of the old TF2 community servers i used to do homestuck roleplay on, theyre just gone now because the owners moved on or people stopped playing.

im kinda just rambling here, my friends know i complain about roblox a lot (sorry), but i think this event is my final stage of grief. they made a facsimile of my and others memories and shat advertisements all over it and it hit me so much it made me realize that what i remember is just gone and it wont ever come back.