#reminds me of the day one bugs of Fallout 4

[sharkbatez]

Waiting on the new Saints Row DLC and my game bugged out on me again. Where are my clothes?? Where is my hair??? WHERE ARE MY EYES????

[regegade]

I Wanna Be Yours

Originally posted June 13th 2024 Fandom: Fallout 4 Au: Naomi Sole survivor AU Characters: Reagan Knightly (oc) Naomi King (oc) "Johan King" / J4-19 / Silas Gold (oc) Content Warning: Mentions of lusting after a married man (no infidelity), Self Loathing Thoughts, Brief Mentions my HC of Deacon Type: One-Shot Summary: Reagan finds herself in a shitty situation. She has caught feelings for her best friend's husband after they went to hunt down Deacon for breaking Naomi's trust. She agonizes over knowing she has feelings for a man she could never be with. Extra Info: "Johan" in this is a synth created by the institute to be a replica of Naomi's Dead husband to manipulate her to help them.

Reagan’s gaze rested on the couple only a few feet away from her, who were happily talking amongst themselves, giggling and smiling. Her jaw clenched as she looked down, throwing a few more pieces of wood into the fire in front of her.

She was a bad person.

She kept reminding herself of this. Everytime she took another glance at the two. Everytime she looked at him.

Naomi was a good woman. Naomi was her friend. How dare she even dare to feel this way. How dare she even look at her friend’s husband. After everything Naomi has done for her. After all her support. After everything, Reagan was a snake in the garden. Reagan told herself this every single time her mind would wonder.

“Rae? You’ve been rather quiet tonight.”

God. Naomi should fucking hate her and here she was worried about Reagan.

She responded stoically as she stared at the flame, “It’s been a long couple weeks.” She sighs and leans back and looks at the blackened sky, every so often a cloud would move allowing the glimpse of moonlight and stars.

Naomi looked at Johan and shifted a bit to lean forward, towards Reagan,” You wanna talk about it?”

“Ehh it’s just stupid minutemen crap. Build a building here, plant fruit there, another settlement needs my help… Not much time for a break when you're rebuilding the minutemen to their former glory.”

“Rae… You can’t keep overworking yourself so much. Maybe you should take some time off from work. Oh! Maybe we could have a girls day! Just you and me! We can go to Diamond city, pamper ourselves a bit.” Naomi seemed to get a disappointed look on her face, “ I wish spas still existed. If I’ve ever met someone who deserved a spa day it’s you.”

Reagan snorted a bit, “Why would you pay for bathing in mud I will never understand.”

“It’s like fancy mud. It’s supposed to help you relax and be good for your skin.”

“I mean I could find us a nice ditch of mud to dive in. I just figured that’s not exactly your style.”

Naomi laughs, “Reagan do you have a mud pit you never told me about?”

“Yep. I keep it next to the pit of dead bugs. I hear the guts are great for the bags under your eyes.”

“Oh ewwww” Naomi cringed with a smile.

Johan laughed, “I mean hey clearly it’s working for her. Look at Reagan!”

Reagan gave a forced smile. He was complimenting her, yet she still couldn’t let herself enjoy his presence anymore. Not after that night a few months ago. The night that fire and passion he had for protecting Naomi and making her happy had won over Reagan.

She hated herself for that.

He was passionate for his wife dammit. He loves Naomi and Naomi loves him. Yet here she was, twisting that love for her own perversion. Why did she have to start having feelings for him? Out of all the men out there, she started having feelings for a married man. A happily married man, to make it worse.

“I know what would really brighten Reagan’s mood.” Johan chimed in.

Naomi leaned into him with a smile, “What’s that?”

“Me and her can go back and kick Deacon’s ass again.”

“No,” Reagan shot down coldly.

Naomi looked concerned at Reagan, “Are you okay?”

Reagan shook her head with a head, “I just… even to kick his ass I don’t want to see Deacon again, or any of my exes for that matter.”

Naomi looks at Johan who shared a concerned glance with her.

“Reagan?”

Reagan poked at the fire, avoiding eye contact, “Yeah Johan?”

“Did I do something wrong?”

She blinks before frowning in confusion and looking at him, “No, why?”

Johan sighs, “You’ve been turning down every chance to hang out together since we paid a visit to Deacon. You barely seem to even talk to me anymore. What changed?”

Reagan bites her tongue. What changed was before their trip, Reagan only ever saw Johan as her friend’s husband and now she imagines how he looked out of breath but so perfect. How fiery his eyes were. Now she fantasizes about being in the same bed as him and him holding her tightly.

At least if she keeps him at an arm's length she can deny her feelings and pretend they don’t exist. She can pretend he doesn’t exist. The closer they are though, the harder it is to come to terms with the fact that she is falling for a man that could never be hers. A man who she isn’t supposed to want.

She’d never act on these feelings. She could never do that to Naomi. The problem was even being near him was crushing her very soul. Knowing every time the two were together it was Naomi, he loved. Naomi, he wanted. Naomi he would spend his nights with. Who could blame him either? Naomi was amazing. Unlike Reagan. Who was a terrible friend.

“I… I guess I haven’t really noticed. I haven’t been meaning to be so cold, honest. I genuinely don’t want to go hunt down Deacon again. I just haven’t been in the right mood lately for the things we’d both be into.” Reagan offered a soft smile, “I promise we’ll figure out something to do together again. I just haven’t felt exactly the same since coming face to face with my ex-husband.”

“That’s… That’s fair. And a relief.” Johan let out a chuckle. “I was worried you just hated me all the sudden.”

No, she couldn’t hate him. If she hated him, being around him would be easier. If she hated him at least she wouldn’t have this guilt in her chest and feel the knife twist when he was with Naomi.

Naomi seemed to still hold a bit of concern on her face, “You know, Rae, I’m always here to talk if you need someone to vent to.” She looks down, sheepishly, “I know I used to consider Deacon a friend, but I don��t mind if you need to let out some of those feelings.”

Reagan shook her head, “It’s not your job to be my therapist, Naomi.”

“I’m not offering to be your therapist, I’m offering to be your friend.”

Reagan looks away. How could she do this to her? How could Naomi be such a good person and Reagan is lusting after her husband? How despicable could she get?

“It’s… It’s something that venting about won’t help. It’s something worse than that. It feels like I have a sickness. I appreciate your offer Naomi, truly I do, but… this isn’t something you can help.”

Naomi let out a heavy sigh, “well if you feel like changing your mind you can always come talk to me.”

“Thank you… You don’t know how much I appreciate you.”

Naomi nodded before leaning back to Johan who pulled her in closer, “Yeah she’s pretty great isn’t she?”

“Hm. Yeah. Yeah she is…”

It barely took any time for the couple to go back to talking and laughing. The two of them are so clearly in love, so clearly all over each other.

They deserved each other.

Reagan deserved to watch. To know she would never have what they have. To know she would never have him. No matter how badly she wanted him. She deserved the pain in her chest when the two of them kissed or groped the other.

She was a bad person.

She didn’t deserve that kind of love with the way she was thinking about him.

She’ll remind herself of that everytime she closes her eyes and he's there. Everytime she thinks of his touch. Everytime she replays that look in his eyes.

It was what she deserved, wasn't it?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨4

Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) only plot hehe

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.

Note: I’m at my tipping point, I swear. I’m dealing with everything in our household, new bed (delayed delivery yay!), cleaning, cooking, dog walking, and working. My only escape are my fics and this weekend I’m telling everyone to fuck off so I can do the writeathon... but sorry for the rant, enjoy more Clark.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

Wednesday trickled by like sand in a glass. You could hardly keep your eyes open as you typed away and a double espresso shot was the only thing that saw you through your hours at the gallery. Vanessa was excited for her next event and already asking after some new pieces from you. You promised her some from your storage unit to stave her off as you held in your yawns. 

You collapsed into bed that night beside Marcus. He complained about his day until he drifted off and you followed suit shortly after. You awoke with a decision, the echoes of your boyfriend’s gripes in your head and heart. You hated how miserable his job made him, how dull your own was. It felt like there was nothing else but the almighty dollar.

You called Clark after an email to Jim, your nerves alight in anticipation of the disgruntled reply. It didn’t matter. You were done. You didn’t need to worry about the all caps messages and curt zoom calls.

“Hey,” Clark picked up, he sounded out of breath.

“Oh, hey, sorry, it’s me,” you swiveled in your chair, “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“Nope, just getting in a work out,” he grunted, “you’re not bugging me if you have good news for me.”

“I think… I do,” you forced out, “I just sent in my resignation.”

“Mmm, you don’t sound… happy,” he hummed.

“I am, I think I’m just processing it,” you replied, “I said I’d let you know today so I’m letting you know.”

“Well, how soon can you be here?” he asked.

“Today?”

“Sure, why not?”

“I guess, I could leave as soon as you want me,” you said.

“I’ll send a car,” he intoned, “I’ll give the driver your number, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah,” your voice almost squeaked, “I can do that.”

“Alright, sweetheart, see ya soon.”

The line cut out and you lowered your phone slowly. You stared at Outlook and the new email icon along the taskbar. You closed the laptop and stood. You could worry about the fallout later, right now, you had to get ready for another day of painting.

🎨

It was starting to feel like deja vu every time you arrived at Clark’s house. You got out and thanked the drive, Jeremy, before he drove off. The doors opened before you got to the top of the steps and your host was already dressed in the same outfit he wore for each session. His hair was neat but his beard was even thicker than before.

“I think you can tell I’m a little antsy to start,” he chuckled, “how are you, sweetheart?”

That pet name caught in your mind again. It might just be a habit of his. Nothing more than an absent-minded word.

“Me too, honestly,” you smiled, “but I have a weird question for you.”

“Ask away,” he said as he walked with you through the foyer.

“The beard… you want that in the portrait or--”

“Oh, ha, yeah,” he ran his fingers along his jawline, “I guess I wasn’t thinking. You’re the artist, what do you think?”

“Well, erm, either way is fine,” you said, “I was just… wondering. I’m not even close to starting on, uh, you yet. I mean, right now I’m just working on the background and basic shapes.”

“I’ll let you make the call when you get there,” he said, “say the word and it’s gone.”

“Alright,” you came to the top of the stairs and he pointed you ahead of him.

He followed you as you entered and you went about filling the jar with water and resituating the set up. He sat as you mixed and chose your brush. You climbed the ladder and peered around the canvas at him. He took on the same pose as usual and you dipped the bristles into the pigment. You could make a happy life of this.

🎨

Clark shifted and cleared his throat. You rolled your wrist and glanced back over at him as you drew your hand back from the canvas. He braced the chair and pushed himself up.

“How about a break?” he asked as he shook out his arms, “back’s a bit stiff.”

“Sure,” you said, “I think I could sit down for a moment.”

You took a step down the rung of the ladder but your toe slipped and suddenly your palette was against your chest. You slid down backwards as Clark rushed over and barely kept you from toppling the entire thing over. You laughed at yourself as he righted you and looked down at your paint-streaked shirt.

“Jesus,” you muttered.

“You okay?” he asked as he kept his hand on your upper arm, “be careful.”

“Yeah, I’m-- clumsy, is all,” you carefully pulled away and set down your brush and palette.

“Come on, sit,” he pulled up the stool and planted it before you, “take a minute.”

As you sat, he stretched his arms over his head and then out to the sides. He paced around the other side of the table, long strides as he worked the cramps from his long legs. He stopped and came up to play with a brush as you leaned an elbow on the table.

“Well, I did have another offer for you,” he said, “I was thinking of waiting but might as well ask now.”

“Oh?” you raised your brows curiously.

He swished a slender brush in the air then lowered it and picked at the tip.

“I’m having a get together on Saturday, some business friends and the like,” he said as he set the brush back with the rest, “it won’t be work. You’ve earned some time off. You can even bring the boyfriend.”

“Saturday?” you pondered, “I’m usually at the gallery on Saturdays.”

“It would be great networking,” he said, “and I already told all my friends about you. They’re excited to see your work. It will almost be like a viewing and it’s only right the artist is there.”

“I could make it work,” you mulled, “Marcus would love to come back.” You snickered, “he loves this place.”

“It’s a nice house,” he said casually, “a bit big for one person… hence, the party.”

“I’ll put it in my calendar,” you stood and slid your palette closer and cleaned it off to remix the mess of paints.

“Great,” he said as he rounded the table and brushed close to you, “it’ll be nice to look at a mug besides mine, huh?”

You laughed as you squeezed out the dark paint and nodded, “ha, sure.”

🎨

The rest of your week was spent much the same. Jeremy drove you to Clark’s and you went up to the studio to continue your work between small talk and silences that grew so thick you had to break them with mindless comments. It wasn’t enough to focus on the path of your brush as the man tugged at your attention.

Marcus was excited when you told him about the party. He raved about how he needed to let loose, about how much expensive alcohol he was going to drink, and the awesome backflip he was gonna do into the pool. You reminded him, he hadn’t done anything like that since college but he swore he could still do it.

You didn’t share the sentiment. You were anxious. You were flattered to be invited but despite what Clark said, it still felt like work. His friends were going to be there and he apparently was trying to sell them on your art. 

You didn’t realise until after you hit send on your email, but you put your livelihood in this man’s hands. A man, you reminded yourself, who was little more than a stranger.

On Friday, a day you were thankfully not called to the mansion to teeter on the ladder and paint, the buzzer rang and drew you off the couch from amid your YouTube binge. The man on the speaker called back that he had a delivery and you let him up. You took the box from him, the thick silver ribbon giving away the sender even before you could read the tag.

Inside you found a black dress with little gemstones set into the fabric like stars in the sky. It was nicer than anything you’d ever owned before and a pair of silver shoes were tucked in beneath the outfit. You took the shoes from the tissue paper and something else shifted in the bottom.

You reached in and revealed a velvet box from the depths of overzealous stuffing. You opened the lid and found a simple chain of diamonds. You gaped in disbelief. They were real. The fake ones didn’t look so nice.

You phone chimed before you could even think to call Clark. It was as if he could see you. You answered and your voice warbled pathetically.

“Hi, I was just gonna call,” you touched your throat as it constricted.

“Yeah? I got the notification that it was delivered,” he said, “you like it?”

“It’s too much,” you gulped out, “really, I can’t--”

“I want you to look nice. I want you to feel good and have a good time,” he said, “I feel like you’ve been working so hard. You need a chance to just let it all go.”

“Look, I…” you were uncertain how to handle it. It was more than generosity but you felt wrong denying it as much as you did accepting it, “I’ve never had a boss buy me diamonds. At least let me give those back.”

“Boss?” he mused on the word, “I suppose, but you gotta dress the part now, sweetheart. You’re gonna rub shoulders with a lot of rich dicks like me. Pardon my language.”

“I didn’t realise it was such an upscale thing,” you put the velvet box down and turned to sit on the couch beside the large box. You played with the silver ribbon and chewed your lip.

“Sweetheart, it’s nothing, you got this,” he said, “trust me, if you can win me over, my friends will be child’s play.”

“Mhmmm,” you stared at the tv mindlessly, “Clark?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you doing all this?”

There was silence and you heard him sigh then a subtle metallic click.

“Because I can. And you’re a talented artist. Didn’t all the big painters used to have patrons back in the day? You know, Da Vinci and all that.”

“Sure, I guess--”

“Look, sweetheart, I’m glad you like the dress, I gotta go.”

He hung up abruptly and you turned your phone to stare at it in confusion. You were starting to get a bad feeling and that little voice in that back of your head, that little sabotaging bitch, whispered in your ear. No, you wouldn’t let your self-doubt get the best of you this time. You either grabbed this chance or you spent the rest of your life doing menial work and painting the world as it passed you by.

🎨

Friday night, Marcus couldn’t stop rambling about the party the next day. You just couldn’t get over the tickle in your chest, the same one you got before job interviews and doctor’s appointments. You were on edge, even as you spent your stress on him, your body writhing against his as you panted and pouted. It had been a while since you fucked. All the work and the stress had just let things slip past you. Maybe with your new gig, you could get back to those early days when it was all you wanted to do.

You slept soundly. You blamed the sex and the momentous week. You got up, had a lazy brunch time meal, and beat Marcus at MarioKart several times over before he convinced you it was time to get ready. 

You pulled on the gifted outfit after fighting with your make-up and hair. You gave a little tada spin to Marcus and he lifted his brow as he tried to figure out his tie.

“Wow, where’d you get that?” he purred, “fuck, let’s be late.”

He ran his hands over your hips as you neared him and fixed his tie for him. You giggled and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Jeremy’s on his way,” you warned, “I don't wanna bite the hand that feeds.”

“Oh, and it feeds you well,” Marcus chirped, “you think he’ll let me have a spin in the McClaren?”

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t. I don’t need to scrape you off the side of the road,” you took your phone as the screen lit up, “come on, he’s here.”

“Fuck, babe, really, you’re gonna make me follow you out of here with your ass looking like that?”

“Stop,” you tittered, “you know, there might be more sellers tonight?”

“Oh yeah? I guess you’ll be paying a mortgage soon enough.”

“Me?” you scoffed.

“Sure, I’ll be your sugar baby,” he kidded.

“Well, baby is accurate,” you teased as you stepped onto the elevator, “please, just behave.”

🎨

You were surprised to see Vanessa at the party but reassured to see a familiar face. Clark had been distracted by his other guests and you did your best to mingle, letting Marcus take the lead until he was distracted by another guest’s Rolex and started asking too many questions. If you did start selling art to these kinds, you suspected you’d be paying for a lot of overpriced brands. That was a worry for another time.

You stood with Vanessa and a man she introduced you to. Bruce Wayne was tall and his dark-hair was combed back neatly as he spoke over the glass of wine in his hand. You were bored of the Monet-Manet argument, one you’d heard a million times from the stubborn gallery owner, and you were at your limit of socialisation.

You excused yourself and put down your unfinished drink on a table. You looked around but couldn’t see Marcus anywhere. The last you saw him, he was with Clark but you couldn’t find him either. You frowned and wandered between the pairs and trios gabbing around the room.

Just past the bar, you looked back and still no sign of either man. You huffed and your heels clicked into the foyer and to the stairs. You’d go to the studio and sit for a moment and collect yourself. You just needed to take a breath.

You climbed the stairs slowly, the din of the party floating up behind you. You came to the top but stopped as your eyes were drawn to a pair of open doors opposite the studio. You neared and stayed against the wall as you peeked inside. Marcus admired an old-six shooter and spun the barrel.

“You got everything, man, I swear,” you hid behind the door frame and listened.

“Eh, it’s all just things,” Clark replied, “I bought that from an auctioneer down in Texas. A verified antique but it just hangs here. Not good for much but looking at it.”

“Dude, what I wouldn’t do to live here? Have cool guns and even cooler cars? Shit, you know how fucked it is that my lady is making bank and I’m over here with my dick in my hands? I mean, I’m proud of her but… I mean, if I could get paid thousands for drawing, I would’ve tried to learn.”

“She’s good. Dedicated,” Clark remarked, “she’s special. Worth more than money.”

Marcus hummed and you heard the barrel click back into the place. Neither of the men spoke as you heard something shift and Clark cleared his throat. Subtle footsteps moved around the room and you pressed yourself to the wall. You should leave and let them talk but you couldn’t help but be curious.

“Isn’t she?” Clark prodded.

“Y-yeah, but… I don’t know. I just wish I had more,” Marcus said, “I probably sound like a chump, huh?”

“You can’t have it all,” Clark replied.

“Says the guy who can buy anything and everything,” Marcus moped.

“Oh?” Clark intoned, “so… how about it then? Fifty thousand.”

“For what?” Marcus chuckled nervously.

“Her,” Clark answered.

“Her-- I… my girlfriend?” he sputtered.

“If money can buy me anything, that’s what I want,” Clark said firmly, “it’s a one time offer… whether or not you agree to it, I’m gonna fuck her.”

You skin crawled at his words and you covered your mouth in disgust and shock. You inched closer to the door to hear better as you waited for the response.

“One hundred,” Marcus said.

“Seventy-five,” Clark countered.

“That’s my girlfriend, dude,” Marcus hissed.

“And yet you’re haggling with me over her. Eighty.”

You tore yourself from the wall before you could hear anymore. You felt hollow and heavy all at once. Your eyes were glossy as you scurried over to the studio doors and pushed the left one open. You unhooked the diamond necklace and tossed it onto the paint-stained palette and rolled up your brushes.

You stormed over blindly to the easel and pushed it over. It clattered to the floor loudly but you were already out the door and halfway down the stairs. You gripped your clutch and the bundle of paintbrushes tightly as you continued on outside and the blurred outlines of luxury cars passed you by. 

You stomped up the long drive in your heels as you flicked away tears and pulled out your phone. You knew it was too good to be true. Any of it; your art, Clark, Marcus. You weren’t good for anyone unless they could get something out of you.

[hrodvitnon]

Go’s Plan

(Thanks for reminding me of it! I can only imagine this happening in the Go-turns-evil plotline, although I suppose it can also happen in the plotline where Shi apologizes..?)

The turn of events that would defeat Godzilla are, at the end of the day, borne out of a simple, very human desire. Some part of her did cheer on when Godzilla inevitably caught up with Ghidorah, but the other part…

I don’t want to die. I want to live. I WANT TO LIVE!

And her course of action, done in the heat of the moment when the other heads were grappling Godzilla and Go noticed his tail becoming to glow with atomic charging? Grab an oil tanker truck she saw - and ram it down Godzilla’s throat. She’s seen that movie Jaws, she knows what she’s doing - right?

No she doesn’t, it’s a harebrained plan she cooked up because she doesn’t want to die. But nonetheless, Godzilla’s own atomic breath detonates the gas truck inside him. Oh it doesn’t kill him, but it burns his insides - and momentarily disables his atomic breath. Ghidorah swoops in for the attack-

No! Hold back! I… think I have a plan!

Yeah she’s thinking it up as she goes, but Go’s improvised use of an explosive weapon was rather clever, Ichi thinks. He quickly looks into what the youngest sister’s plan is.

Step 2: Hide. Choose the site of battle and lure Godzilla there. A cluster of gleaming skyscrapers, with dust cover, may do the trick…

Step 3: Sneak attack. Strike him from behind but don’t engage in melee, he can overpower us through brute force! Instead, we have to

Step 4: Target his legs! Maddie’s played Fallout: New Vegas enough times that she’s a seasoned deathclaw slayer, and she knows the most efficient way to kill those lizard monsters is to first strike at their legs. Cripple them, slow them down, so they can’t run, can’t escape… it’s the same principle here. Concentrate their lightning beams at his kneecaps! Don’t focus on brute-force damage; stumble him, make him trip! The concentrated strikes to his legs force Godzilla to his knees. But don’t move in yet!

Step 5: Those skyscrapers he’s surrounded by? Topple them all on top of him. One, two, three, four buildings… pin him down with the weight of a hundred million tons of cinder and concrete. Immobilize him!

Go admits she didn’t think this far beyond that, because she didn’t think it would work as she’d imagined. But as if in miracle, it did. Now Godzilla’s pinned down by weight of rubble and damaged kneecaps, helpless as Ghidorah approaches for the finishing move…

Five gravity beams, point blank range. Two at his gills - and three directly into his mouth. Over the span of minutes, the ancient god Titan is slowly electrocuted from the inside-out. A painful, torturous way to die. When the deed is done, he collapses backwards, blazing with yellow fire, sparking all over like an insect on a bug trap. Go stares at the sight. Her beloved Godzilla, (seemingly) dead from her own “I’m thinking this up as I go!” Indy ploy of a plan.

Then she screams skywards to the heavens, in a wild battle cry of adrenaline and a victory she didn’t think was possible. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

She doesn’t expect Ichi’s nuzzle. Well done, youngest sister..!

Of course, Shi lunges for Ichi's throat in uncontrollable rage -- worse than the previous times she attacked him to trying to worm his way into Go's mind, Shi is foaming at the mouth and blinded by tears, possessed by the kind of rage that brought mythic Achilles out of his stupor. And just like with the Greek hero, it is a kind of love that spurs Shi on to rip and tear, rip and tear, Rip and TEAR...

She wanted no part in Godzilla's (apparent) death, and just when she'd regained hope that his recovery would end Ghidorah's rampage, put her out of her misery, and Go...! Blood and tears fly through the air while San desperately tries to calm his sister, Ni just cackling at her fury and Ichi smugly relishing in Shi's hatred even as she takes out chunks of his neck, knowing how she revered that old lizard.

Hate you! Shi screams in possessed, white-hot vengeful outrage. HATE YOU! HATE YOU!

Ichi laughs. Save some of your hatred for clever little Go! It was her idea that felled your precious beast!

Go's victory cry peters out at this point, turning into barks and shocked laughs -- she did this! It was her quick thinking that vanquished Godzilla! -- and that's when she catches Shi's eyes burning into her. Now that's a new experience. Aunt Vivienne had never so much as glared at her, even when their competitiveness in games got the better of them. The gravity of Go's actions dawn on her at the same time she realizes... there really is some hatred in Shi's eyes.

[nightingaelic]

I was reading your "Fallout 4 companions meet Arcade Gannon" reacts when I had an idea. FO4 companions reaction to visiting the Mojave Wasteland with the Sole Survivor.

"She was Boston, I was Vegas

She was Crêpes Suzette, I was pie

She was lectures, I was movies, but I loved her."

- Frank Sinatra, 1981, "I Loved Her"

Cait: "I've never been much of a gambler, but where there's gambling, there's usually a good time to be had."

While Cait finds the casinos of the Strip a little too ritzy for her liking, she rather enjoys the smaller, satellite venues: The Atomic Wrangler in Freeside, the Vikki and Vance casino in Primm, even the saloons in Goodsprings and the Mojave Outpost (the latter of which being where she foolishly engages in a drinking contest with Cass and happily gets her ass kicked). Her greatest enjoyment, however, comes upon discovery of the Thorn in Westside, with its arranged bouts between wasteland critters and the opportunity to go a round yourself if you're feeling lucky. Instead of the trapped horror she felt when the Combat Zone was taken over by raiders and she was forced to fight, Cait revels in the glory she reaps when choosing to face off against a fire gecko, a night stalker or a cazador with her trusty baseball bat. By the time the visit is over, she and Red Lucy have grown close, and the Thorn's mistress is going around openly calling Cait "my hunter."

Codsworth: "Ah, Las Vegas! Why, I can recall when you considered a quick getaway to this paradise just before young master Shaun's arrival. It appears we aren't too late, after all."

Codsworth is somewhat comforted by the lack of overt nuclear devastation in New Vegas, but that feeling wears off as soon as the first set of thugs in Freeside tries to corner him and the sole survivor and take their caps. Once the would-be muggers are laid out on the ground, Codsworth abandons his rose-colored glasses and puts his quippy, dismayed personality back on. Still, he loves the Strip, particularly the Ultra-Luxe with its refined guests, decor and hygienic practices, but he quickly sours on their hoity-toity attitudes. Instead, Codsworth turns to the presence of the NCR as a sign that civilization is creeping back into the wasteland. He's also tickled pink by the Kings and the Chairmen, but not the mobster-esque Omertas: They remind him too much of the pre-war mob activity in good old Boston.

Curie: "Excusez-moi, but what is that structure there? The tallest one, with the blinking lights."

Curie is thrilled to be out in the desert, observing the local populace and documenting their survival techniques, social structures and power struggles. She's fascinated with the area's history, and drags the sole survivor along to seek out the Mojave's most (in)famous individuals to record their stories for her research into post-war civilization. This lands her in quite a few questionable situations, but her general attitude of perseverance and wide-eyed wonder about the world open a lot of doors for her. She makes a lot of friends at the Old Mormon Fort among the Followers of the Apocalypse, though most of them assume her frustration about her own "biological reactions to extreme living conditions" is just her complaining about the heat like everyone else. Arcade's pretty sure she's a robot, though he's too polite to ask about it outright.

Danse: "We're close now, to the birthplace of the Brotherhood of Steel. This is an honor I never thought I'd experience."

Though it's boiling hot inside his power armor under the desert sun, Paladin Danse is overjoyed that he's accompanying the sole survivor on this journey into the cradle of the ideology that he's devoted to. He's heard about the Mojave from Brotherhood of Steel veterans, those who traveled with Elder Lyons when they initially came to the Capital Wasteland and those who accompanied Elder Maxson when he was just a Squire, and he keeps spouting off random trivia about the area. Any run-ins with disillusioned Scribe Veronica might leave him a bit put out, but it's overall a fun trip for him through a part of the continent that's a little less smashed to rubble than the rest of the world. He especially enjoys visiting the NCR and Brotherhood military outposts, if only to offer critiques and suggestions to any soldiers that give him the time of day.

Deacon: "Sheesh, visiting the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter, am I right?"

Deacon has been here before. Well, he doesn't actually say he's been here before, but he keeps dropping hints to the sole survivor that he's somehow on a return trip. He knows the legends of the Sierra Madre and the Blue Star treasures offhand, he has a whole conversation with the Securitrons guarding the Strip about what happened to Robert House, he even knows how to competently play Caravan. Every time the sole survivor asks him about how he knows so much, though, Deacon just grins and keeps chugging his Sunset Sarsaparilla. Obviously no one recognizes him by face, but he does have a setting-appropriate wardrobe along that includes NCR bandoleer armor, a coat-tailed tuxedo, top hat and White Glove Society mask, and a black leather jacket to go with his pompadour wig.

Dogmeat: [curiously sniffs everything]

Dogmeat can't figure out why this place is so dang dry, but he's on his best behavior for the sole survivor as they make their way over the dusty roads of the Mojave. He politely greets each other traveler on the roads, who keep asking his companion where they got "a non-cyber cyberdog." For the most part though, the trip is pretty in line with everywhere Dogmeat goes: Big rodents, big bugs, tired people and plenty of ruins to explore. Dogmeat's one outstanding adventure comes in the form of an attempted kidnapping by some of the Kings, who think their leader needs a new dog after Rex hit the road with some fool. The King doesn't take kindly to this, and graciously has the dog returned to his friend.

Hancock: "Oh, man, how does anyone live out here? I'm drying out, I feel like a radroach husk."

Hancock is having the time of his life in the Mojave, apart from constantly complaining about how he prefers the Commonwealth's weather. He's chummy with everyone, but especially with the ghouls he encounters. He buys Raul a bunch of drinks and asks him about his past, he suggests future career paths and hobbies for Calamity, and he is absolutely enchanted with Beatrix the dominatrix. He's also rowdy enough to attract the ire of nearly every casino in New Vegas: The White Glove Society seethes when the sole survivor points out that his Revolutionary War outfit technically meets the dress code, the Omertas howl when he starts encouraging the strippers and sex workers to band together and take over the casino, and the Vault 21 dwellers keep asking if he's liable to turn feral. The Chairmen, however, treat him as something of a novelty and gift him with a seersucker suit to go with his jaunty personality.

MacCready: "You know, I played cards with a guy from out here once. He tried to teach me a game called... what was it, Candyman? Kilogram?"

MacCready has the barest smattering of knowledge about the Mojave Wasteland, and he keeps injecting it into conversations no matter how inaccurate it is. He's fascinated with the sole survivor's recollections of what Vegas was like before the Great War, and his expectations are sky-high by the time they arrive on the city's outskirts. Those expectations are absolutely met once inside the Strip, even if the sole survivor's are let down. MacCready is just tickled by the existence of a city that is solely dedicated to parting you from your caps, and he settles into each new business for the express purpose of people-watching. He only tries gambling once, and immediately quits after he loses all of his pocket change.

Valentine: "Good old Las Vegas. Somehow, I'm not surprised it's still got a reputation as 'Sin City,' even this long after the bombs."

The Nick Valentine of old never visited Las Vegas, but he certainly knew about it well enough for the Nick Valentine of today to draw on those impressions. He's extra-wary about the city as a result, an attitude not helped by the many people staring at him because of his detective getup, jagged edges and golden eyes. Some people are polite enough to walk up and ask what he is: Others offer to buy him off the sole survivor directly, much to Nick's chagrin. When James Garret offers him a thousand caps for "one night of his services," Nick puts his foot down and starts glaring at everyone who so much as walks up to him and the sole survivor during their trip. The exceptions to this rule are Veronica, who is extremely polite and non-invasive with her questioning; Arcade, who is too polite to even mention Nick's synthetic state; and Raul, who finds the whole thing hilarious but admits that his ghoul status has landed him in some similar situations.

Piper: "I've heard plenty of stories about this place, and if even a quarter of them are true, I ought to get a good travel piece out of just about anyone we pass on the street."

Piper's on a mission to track down the history of New Vegas, which, like Curie, sends her on a path toward its biggest political figures. Aside from them, she's particularly interested in the services of the Mojave, like the Gun Runners, the Crimson Caravan Company, and especially the Mojave Express. Piper gets along swell with just about everyone, and she basks in the widespread acceptance that she lacks back home due to her chosen profession. She desperately tries to get Johnson Nash to ship a case of Sunset Sarsaparilla cross-continent for her, but he gently turns her down and tells her that the only courier he knows crazy enough to undertake a trip to the Commonwealth is too busy nowadays.

Preston: "They're not too friendly to outsiders here, or so I'm told, but there are always good folks to be found if you know where to look."

Preston, true to form, offers help to every little settlement he and the sole survivor come through on their journey, which delays their path to Vegas quite a bit. He makes a beeline for the Old Mormon Fort as soon as he hears the Followers of the Apocalypse have a base there, though, and spends most of his visit picking the brain of its leaders about the best ways to aid those in need in the wasteland. He and Arcade get into some spirited debates about the pros and cons of having a civil service force focused on military matters versus civilian matters, and the Minutemen leader leaves the Mojave with a lot of new ideas to carry home to the Commonwealth.

Strong: "Strong not looking for 'good time,' puny human. Strong looking for thing that make super mutants stronger."

Strong hates New Vegas, but that's nothing unexpected. The sole survivor tries to limit their time in the city and take him around the desert to locales where super mutants are more likely to be found, which brings them to Jacobstown. Surprise surprise, Strong hates Jacobstown - at first. Little by little, through talking with Lily, the other nightkin, and Marcus, Strong starts to realize that the super mutants of the town are doing exactly what he values and sharing their resources among each other for the good of the community, just minus the usual violence associated with super mutants. He struggles with this alternative way of life for a bit, but eventually comes to accept that to be a super mutant, you don't have to constantly attack those around you to show off your strength.

X6-88: "Be careful. The Institute's records about this area indicate high levels of theft, murder, and unsavory characters. It would be best to keep our guard up."

Like Nick, X6-88 greets everyone in the Mojave with open suspicion, and can hardly be convinced to leave the sole survivor's side for their entire journey. His dedication to this task leads those around him to joke about him being "a human Securitron," which the sole survivor finds amusing: X6-88 does not. Still, the ability to hire and maintain a professional-looking bodyguard while visiting New Vegas doesn't go unnoticed, and most people assume that means the sole survivor has a lot of money to spend or be separated from by force. Criminals are more likely to be ruthless, hell-bent on stealing the loads of caps the sole survivor surely has tucked away. Business owners, on the other hand, are more polite to the pair on their travels, giving them better service and goods that ingratiate X6-88 a bit more to the common people aboveground.

BONUS!

Ada: "Jackson brought us out here once, when Zoe decided she wanted to try acquiring a Securitron. The leader of the Strip turned us down."

While Deacon is playing coy about his experience in the Mojave, Ada is completely open about hers. She hasn't been to the Strip, the dam, or any of the Mojave's "fun" destinations, but she remembers the Crimson Caravan Company headquarters, the 188 trading post, and many of the small towns along the way. Her fondest memories are of scavenging around the ruins of the REPCONN test site, the Aerotech Office Park and HELIOS One. She also recalls that her caravan friends came to visit primarily to find a Securitron to take apart and repurpose, but won't say exactly what happened when they tried to do so, other than warn the sole survivor "not to invite the wrath of the House."

Gage: "Now this is a town that knows how to run a successful racket. We need to find out who's in charge, see if they can give us some tips."

Porter Gage walks right up the steps of the Lucky 38 as soon as he finds out that someone inside is running the Strip, and demands that the Securitrons let him in to "talk to the boss." The robots aren't impressed, of course, and toss him out straightaway. Gage, not one to be discouraged easily, tries to find information among the nearby raider gangs instead: Fiends, Vipers, Jackals or Great Khans, he's not too picky. The current state of the raiders in the Mojave quickly informs him that they're failing one by one against the power of New Vegas, and he renews his efforts to find the recipient of the endless streams of caps. Thwarted at every turn, he and the sole survivor retire to Gomorrah, where they bemoan their bad luck while the courier sits a few seats down from them, listening in and smirking.

Longfellow: "Just point me to the nearest saloon. If I can't cool down, I'll try to forget I'm hot."

Longfellow parks himself at the nearest watering hole and does his best to avoid the scorching Mojave heat. The Maine-born grandpa is pretty miserable during the daytime hours unless he's sitting in front of a fan with a cold beer, swapping stories about Far Harbor critters with the bar regulars. At night he's a bit more open to adventuring with the sole survivor, when the desert cools down and he can see the sights by moonlight. Although he's not a fan of the hustle and bustle of the Strip, most of the large casinos there have air conditioning thanks to the Lucky 38, so he claims a table in the back and glares at anyone who disturbs him and his drink. He gets along with most of the New Vegas crowd though, if they agree to pick up the tab.

Maxson: "We came this way, when the Elders sent me to the East Coast. I wonder if the chapter here is still persevering."

Elder Maxson is surprisingly reluctant to visit the two things that the sole survivor would've thought he'd be interested to see in the Mojave: The Strip, or the Hidden Valley bunker. If pressed, he'll admit that he's not the type to cut loose and gamble, drink or participate in general debauchery as a result of his upbringing and position of authority, but neither is he keen to drop in on the dying Western chapters of his order and become stifled by protocol and ass-kissing. He prefers to wander the desert itself, seeking solitude among the cacti and under the stars. Given the chance, he'd probably nip off to Quarry Junction and anonymously solve the NCR's deathclaw problem, if it hasn't already been taken care of. He refuses to wear his uniform for the entire trip.

Desdemona: "The Mojave probably wouldn't know what to make of our mission, which is how you know it's a good place to hide. I wonder if any of our rescued synths made it out this far."

This is by far the most relaxed the sole survivor has ever seen Desdemona, and why wouldn't it be? She's so far removed from her usual sphere that she drops her usual, tight-knit demeanor and embraces loosening up. She's still not talking openly about the Railroad's operations, but she is more likely to answer questions both personal and professional. Like Deacon, she knows a bit about the Mojave, but not so much that she can blend in completely. Instead, she embraces being a tourist and does all the usual things that go with it: Visiting the Strip, the Sunset Sarsaparilla headquarters, the Thorn, and especially Hoover Dam. When she's looking out over Lake Mead, with the sun getting caught in her hair as it sets on her left, she almost looks happy.

[omegas-spaghettios]

Ranking MCU Captain America figures

Before I begin, I want to clarify this is about my enjoyment of these characters and NOT who i think are the best morality or power wise. I specify because I think my first two entries will upset some people and I want to say, this list is NOT in order of how much I agree with these characters' values. I have a heavy favoritism towards theme and character interaction and that is where a lot of my enjoyment from media comes from. So, let's begin.

6. Captain America: CW, IW, and Endgame

I'm separating Steve into two because around CW he starts making decisions that really frustrate me.

Now I do think there is a lot to like still! His conviction to his morals during the Accords and continuing arc about government distrust is great, his stand against Thanos in IW is amazing, he is a lot of fun to watch during the New York part of the time heist, and lifting Mjolnir was legit my best theater moment ever and i will NEVER forget it.

However, in CW he starts making some awful decisions. In CW, he kisses Sharon like, days after Peggy's funeral. While on it's own it's already kinda creepy, Endgame retroactively makes this even worse. It goes on to also have grave consequence because he and Sam asked Sharon to break the law for them and never followed through to help her, which was pretty awful of them. At least Sam tries to make it right in TFATWS, but since Steve left that wrong on Sharon never gets reconciled from him.

I also think that his decision to keep Bucky and Howard's history a secret from Tony was really, really stupid. While I side with him during the fight, the fact that Steve "doesn't like when his teammates withhold information" Rogers didn't tell Tony this then walked into a Winter Soldier facility with Bucky and Tony during the most strained time of their relationship was just begging for that conflict.

He is barely in IW and while his stand against Thanos is a great moment, his decision to not let Vision kill himself is very frustrating. "We don't trade lives" then he goes to Wakanda to let thousands of soldiers die while they try and get the stone out, really dude?

I don't think going back in time in Endgame was inherently a bad ending but things he does to make it happen really frustrates me. He shows no signs of mourning Bucky or Sam at all. And then for the sake of surprise for the audience, he never tells Sam what he's doing and that is so awful. Sam dedicates 4 years of his life helping Steve with a good portion of it being on the run. Sam was with Steve more during the present than ANYONE else. Then Steve just leaves without telling him and shows back up to drop a ton of responsibility on Sam that he didn't ask for. Now Sam is an amazing Cap but it's frustrating to see that a lot of TFATWS is fallout of Steve's bad decisions in these three movies.

5. Captain America: John Walker

Now hold on, I hate this man. I think he does some awful things, so why is he above anyone else? Just because he isn't frustrating to me, he fits thematically and has good interactions with others in TFATWS.

His character really adds to the themes and discussions of white privilege, Supremacy, as well as how the US military treats their soldiers like shit, and I think he is an interesting character to watch as he starts out edging the line of evil and by the end of episode 4 crosses it. While I think Bucky was overall a bit too chummy with him in 6, I think it was all mostly in character for them. Sam and Bucky were up against 6 super soldiers and Batroc in a highly crowded city with lots of important people, it makes sense to me that they take his help in this scenario. They also never leave him alone which indicates distrust.

I also really like the moment where he drops the shield to help the truck. He is a shitty person but he is shown as a person who at least wants to do good, even though any challenge to that he goes off the rails. It is such a black and white scenario, help the truck of innocents, and I like that he does it. It also adds to the hatred of him as a person because it shows he clearly knows better but chooses to ignore it, which makes him even more despicable.

I think it is very important that a man like him bore the title of Captain America because it reminds us all that yes, it is very easy that a man like him represents America as it is and that we need to do better than him.

I like watching him and that's why he's above CW on Steve because he isn't making aggravatingly out of character decisions all of the time and he works very well within the themes of the show.

With me loving him in the context of TFATWS, in later appearances he does have a lot of potential to drop to last pretty easily, but as of now when he just is in that show, I appreciate his character a lot.

4. Red Guardian

I kinda like this character and idk how to feel about it

He doesn't fit Black Widow very much so he is kinda low but I mean, he's just kinda fun. His story about Captain America and the USSR is pretty non-related to the others and rather undeveloped which is frustrating, and he does very little plot significant things. He leads Nat and Yelena to Melina and that's about it. He distracts Taskmaster for a while but he kinda is just getting tossed around until Melina shows up. He isn't very important.

But I do like what I see and do hope we see more of him. They never pretend he's a great person and I do appreciate that he gets called on it constantly. His knuckles having Karl Marx on them kills me and overall he's pretty humorous and fun to watch. He also has a few great moments thematically that I love. When he comforts Yelena after the dinner scene and sings her favorite song as a kid? So heartwarming. When he took Taskmaster's shield when fleeing the Red Room I laughed at his ridiculousness but it lead to a pretty great moment, when he throws the shield through the windshield without hesitation to save Melina. It's a great moment to show how he's letting go of his past and obsessions to be there for his family.

I hope we see more of him, his overall lack of importance and stereotypical behavior kinda holds him back but I see so much potential in him.

3. Agent Carter

As of today she has been in exactly one 30 minute episode, but what I see I really like. Her laughter of surprise when she takes the tesseract is really endearing, her sword and muscles and height make my wlw heart patter, and I do like the difference in her relationship with Steve in this universe, where they both are of incredible capabilities but neither are given any respect for how they were born. We get that in TFA too but I really like that it is a constant theme in this iteration while in TFA it gets dropped a bit after Steve receives the serum.

There is very little of her so I can't really put her higher yet, but given more time she very well may rise up on this list but she had an excellent first showing.

2. Pre-CW Captain America: Steve Rogers

This man is a joy.

He is such an endearing scrappy little guy in the beginning of TFA and I love his commitment to doing the right thing. He still very much acts like a guy who just gained 120 pounds of muscle during that movie and it's endearing. The way he grows into his own skin in TWS is amazing as we see him really step in to what he can accomplish physically as well as his authority and leadership.

His Whedonisms in the first two Avengers films kinda bug me, they treat him like an old man when he isn't. Biologically he's like, early 30's at most here. He grew up as a fighter in Brooklyn then served in the military, he wouldn't care if his teammates swear, but overall it's tolerable.

I LOVE this man's commitment to transparency. He struggles when allies are not transparent and he shows nothing but transparency and I love that that is a constant for him (which is why I separate him from CW on)

Everyone loves this guy and over 90% of criticisms I see for him come after AoU, and that's for good reason, this guy is so loveable.

1. Captain America: Sam Wilson

He's so good, guys

I want to talk about Sam before the suit because he is amazing before it. He runs counseling for veterans, a profession very becoming of a superhero and it speaks to his incredible empathy and compassion that is on full display. I also think the fact that he dedicated 2 years to finding Bucky is not appreciated enough. Sure he was following Steve but he still spent 2 years trying to find Bucky, a person who tried to murder him. Yet he understands it isn't Bucky's fault and tries to help him anyway. I also really like that he is the first to speak out against the Accords. He doesn't wait for Steve or anyone else, he sees red flags and he is out and I really, really love that about him.

Then I love how long it takes for him to choose to become Cap and how much he contemplates it. He has to contemplate the legacy of Steve, if he wants to wear the symbol of this country, the pressures of being a black man as Cap, the legacy that John added to it, the pressures from Bucky and the pressures from Isaiah, and also his own legacy he carved for himself as the Falcon. It's a huge decision with a lot of weight and so many people pressuring him but he takes his time and chooses what is right for him, and I really love that about him. These other characters are all Caps from near the start but he transitions into one after years of knowing him as the Falcon and I love that he doesn't take this decision lightly.

Also as Cap he's just really cool. His decisions to not take the serum as well as try like hell to get Karli to step down speak to his humility and compassion. And while many describe his speech as bland it's still uniquely him. Yes the speech doesn't solve any problems but that isn't what he's doing, he's asking America and the world to get to actually solving them and that is an aspect of him we don't see much since Steve's propaganda days, his direct relation to the public.

Also his suit and wings are just awesome, I argue his action is the most fun to watch out of any of these characters.

Anyway yeah that's the list, I know people won't agree with me so let's try and keep discussion civil, alright?

[rpmemedumpster]

Unraveled: Absurdly Comprehensive Game Lore Starters (pt.4)

Feel free to change pronouns/phrasing

Calculate your pet's HP with my 100% legitimate formula:

“Is life quantifiable? Every breath, every beat of a heart...Do they count as tallies etched tirelessly into the stone of our existence, until one day, that stone is returned to dust? Is there a number, an algorithm, underlying the spark of life?”

[sarcastically] “Haha.......war.”

"Animal abuse is wrong. And if you needed me to tell you that...I’m glad I told you that.”

“I'm not teaching you how to calculate human HP, because that power is too great to wield, and it could easily be used for evil by some of the most wicked forces on Earth...like health insurance companies.”

“We're also including bug, because I love bugs!”

“If you have bugs in your house and you make the conscious decision to WANT those bugs in your house, they aren't pests, they're pets...s.”

"God, we all need a distraction sometimes.”

“Your value is not defined by the size or shape of your body, it’s about what you do with the body you’re given.”

“What are you doing here? Go cast spells with your turtle.”

“Does your zucchini plant produce too many zucchinis? A.K.A. Any amount of zucchinis? It's a paladin.”

“Ask yourself, am I holding my pet rat back from their true ambitions?”

 “It may seem challenging, but science shouldn’t be easy, it should be correct.”

 “He lives in my apartment but he doesn’t pay rent and he eats my bagels if I leave them unattended.”

“I’ve been dealing with this small bastard’s antics for so long, I need to remind myself why he’s here by quantifying his value.”

“After explaining why I needed it, my time off request was denied. So instead, I ate some gas station sushi in order to induce illness, and I took a sick day.”

“I’m not a scientist, I’m a gamer.”

I fixed Fallout's music by creating a totally new genre:

“You're telling me that humans figured out how to make a gun that turns you into goo, and yet they haven't made any new music?”

“War never changes. But music should.”

“Ooh! This is a new dance move for me. I don't know if I like it yet.”

“What I’m saying is that if 80% of humans died today, in 100 years, we'd still have Old Town Road, but it would have a few more remixes.”

“Do you really think that if the world ended in 1997, our culture would linger over "Barbie Girl" and "Tubthumping"? That we would be complacent with the cultural detritus of euro-techno, manufactured pop, and third-wave ska?”

“Even in the apocalypse, you can’t escape the guy who will bring his guitar to your party.”

“We need art because of its fundamental importance to human expression.”

“What is the "Star Spangled Banner" if not America’s jingle?”

“If you can carry a gun, you can carry a tune.”

“Background music? NO. This is FOREGROUND MUSIC.”

“I've never skanked so hard in my life.”

Find your Kojima name with my simple 11-page form:

“This process is extremely simple. All you need is a full set of RPG dice, and an easy to fill out 11-page worksheet.”

“What's your most embarrassing childhood memory?”

“In 7th grade I was in a production of Beauty and the Beast, and at one point our Belle missed her costume change, and so I had to stand out and basically ad lib for what felt like an hour. Earlier that week, I had heard my more mature friend say a joke that I did not realize was sexual, and so I said that joke while I was on stage, and I saw a whole crowd of middle school parents all go *uncomfortable noise*”

“What is the object you'd least like to be stabbed by?”

“How many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting, if someone, like, forced you to eat as many carrots as possible?”

“If you had to define your personality in one word, what would it be?”

“Pedant is a very good word.”

“What is something you'd enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do?”

“I'd enjoy waking up one day and coming out to see Mads Mikkelsen in my kitchen just sweeping up, uh, some, some spilled cheerios. And then he, he looks up at me and he gives me that "Aren't I so clumsy?" smile.”

How to tell apart all 596 Fire Emblem characters

[jimmymcgools]

If you're still up for the writing ask meme: the part in chapt 13 where Kim decides to take the phone call in *another* direction (like, WHY does she decide to do that?)

(thank you for letting me ignore this for a full week as i worked on chapter 4 of slip and fall season instead ♥️)

but yes i will do this forever!!! if anyone else has scenes they’d still like to hear my thoughts on 🙏hmu

fic commentary meme and my answers 

the boring doylist answer to your question is: because considering the 1x03 call i figured if i was gonna write mailroom mcwexler i’d be letting myself & everyone else down if i didn’t include a phone sex scene!

and “hold tight to the ropes” really hooked me on the idea of jimmy calling from cicero. so huge credit to that wonderful fic, i mention it in the chapter notes because i stole (and hopefully remixed?) so much of that set up. 

A click. “Hello?” “Hey,” Jimmy says. “Happy Thanksgiving.”  this made me think of mulder and scully when i wrote it and i thought of them reading it over again now. 

“A Thanksgiving classic,” Kim says dryly. “No Way Out.” Jimmy grins. “Nice. Costner at his best.” one of those movie picks where hopefully kim’s joke works just based on the title. jimmy’s dialogue could read ironic, but i do think this is one of costner’s best roles. 

Jimmy chuckles. “We played Monopoly.” mcgill bros monopoly! writing this chapter i learned that you’re supposed to auction off properties if you don’t choose to buy them when you land on them, apparently. #research  💀that’s right i researched monopoly “10 most common arguments people have over a game of Monopoly according to Hasbro” guess i should’ve credited more in my chapter notes huh

A scrap of paper reading That Hamilton Woman rests beneath the plastic but above the original cover for The Boys from Brazil. ruth mcgill playing favourites with laurence olivier movies

“Yeah,” Kim says. “Yeah, sometimes it would snow.” i think i looked this up as well and it only snows like one in 20 thanksgivings but, uh. fanfic.  

Flat white fields dotted with fence posts, like ellipses on a page, drifting into the distance i really like using “this thing looks like writing on a page” type metaphors for kim, but also the idea of endless ellipses seemed pretty perfect for red cloud. 

A little blue dot in the endless fields of white. He exhales. “Kim?” a strange thought process for jimmy here, but he gets to white sands from it somehow. it helps that kim had made the comparison herself, too, while they were at white sands. that it reminded her of winters back home. 

“Can we go back to White Sands?” he asks. i think/hope you can tell from the convo, but jimmy’s not asking for phone sex, he’s more asking for a return to that openness/vulnerability/intimacy. they’ve had a nice conversation so far, but it’s kind of the conversation two friends might have -- “yeah, family. we fought over monopoly. how are you?” -- and he wants more. 

A beat. “What, tonight? That might be pretty tricky.” kimberly #deflection wexler

“But scared of what I might do next. Scared to get too close, maybe.” i wanted there to be this real wariness in the family around jimmy at this point in his life. i didn’t have much to work with for the acb ruth relationship, other than knowing she had nobody by her deathbed but chuck and jimmy, and that she was still up in cicero/berwyn.  i liked the idea that, as much as ruth loves jimmy, in 1992 she’s starting to close herself off from him in that way mothers can do -- she pretends everything is good, she has innocent conversations about movies, she tells him she loves him. to protect/spare him? to protect the purity of the relationship so that she has an outlet where she can pretend nothing’s wrong for a while? i’m not sure. i don’t think it’s good for them. 

It’s like he can hear the connection between them, the long strands of copper wire humming over the country. little reference to chapter 5 when they’re watching born yesterday: “But this is as precious and as fragile to him as crystal, as a string wound to its snapping point, as small human breaths down copper wire.”

“Is there anything you can do?” Kim asks finally. kim the fixer 

staring up at the vine-patterned cornice. oh great jimmy’s looking at a ceiling again 

He counts the leaves, one-two-three, but his brain keeps racing okay whew, at least i only mentioned this one because i brought it up in the white sands chapter -- “His childhood bedroom back in Cicero used to have one, too, carved with vines or flowers or something” -- because he’s staring at the cornice in the motel room while he’s wondering what else he can do with his life. 

he still feels half a step behind something, like there’s something just around the next bend, like the top of a mountain that keeps vanishing into the distance,  two road trip references for the price of one in this paragraph -- them driving up the sandias out of abq, here

And then, as if she can feel the tension and wants to break it, Kim says, “You know, we could do more than just talk.” ayyy we made it, moment of truth!! so why does kim do it, in the fun, watsonian way? 

i think it’s largely what you’ve brought up before -- like she does in breathe, and elsewhere in acb -- i think it’s kim turning to sex when the emotions get too muddy. and you put it better than me! “Kim seems to go physical instead of talking about things”. and when they’re states apart on a phone call? close enough! 

it’s also fixer kim still, right? she can tell that she hasn’t really helped at all with her responses, that jimmy’s still hurting. so here’s take 2. and maybe it’s kim following her own advice she’s just given to jimmy: “is there anything you can do?” 

and there’s that “kim and jimmy giving the other person what they think they need” thing that we’ve all talked about before. and i can’t remember the origin of it now! some interview? 

also she’s definitely hungry for it right now, too. that, like, addictive connection after she’s walled herself off for so long. and after she’s had that “i should call jimmy--oh shit i can’t. huh. hm. this is fine.” moment earlier in the day, too. 

“I’m kidding,” Kim says quietly. “Don’t leave me hanging.” and yeah, with the jimmy pov im always worried about trying to show how much kim wants jimmy, too. i hoped to give the sense that she needed the connection in this scene, too. 

“I mean, I haven’t checked the window, so Gene Hackman might be out there with an audio dish, but—yeah.”  always time for a movie reference. a bit of an ironic one -- he’s referencing the conversation, and i’m pretty sure the chuck stuff in 3x10 is inspired by the scene at the end of that movie when hackman tears up his apartment hopelessly looking for a bug.  (also jeepers, second gene hackman movie of the phone call, he’s also in no way out)

“I miss touching you.” It’s the first time he’s really spoken out loud about that physical intimacy, and something unwinds in his stomach, something that’s been coiled there a long time. oh man, spoilers for safs chapter 4 -- but interesting to reread this part of the conversation in particular when i’ve just written a chapter trying to show a really comfortable physicality between them. aw man. 

He breathes out, tipping his head back against the cold door, eyes tracing over the bare basement ceiling. there he goes there he goes again.mp3

And Kim exhales, and it sounds heavier than it did earlier. “You know, I had bruises there after last time.” starting from jimmy’s “i miss touching you” and then this from kim, i wanted to play with this shift in excitement/energy in the phone sex that comes when they both start actually opening up about the specific emotions/fallout from white sands that’s otherwise mostly gone unsaid. it drifts into more of a pure fantasy scenario after this but i always liked that honesty being a catalyst  kim: “I thought you might notice somehow.” :( 

and then it also seemed very them that they’d end up going with this HHM fantasy with discovery stakes and everything 😂they love their hypotheticals. and also i kinda got to weave in mailroom sex to the fic, almost, sneakily! 

“Thank you yourself,” she says you’re welcome seriously

i hope that wasn’t just me repeating everything we’ve already talked about back at you! 😂

[aion-rsa]

10 PS4 Games to Play Instead of the Still Broken Cyberpunk 2077

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Cyberpunk 2077 is finally back on the PlayStation Store, but the game comes with this warning that makes it clear that the PS4 version of the controversial title is still surprisingly broken:

“IMPORTANT NOTICE: Users continue to experience performance issues with this game. Purchase for use on PS4 systems is not recommended. For the best Cyberpunk experience on PlayStation, play on PS4 Pro and PS5 systems.”

It’s not often you see a digital store tell you to not purchase a version of a game made for one of the best-selling video game consoles ever, but that update is really just the latest chapter in what has proven to be the shockingly strange Cyberpunk 2077 story so far. While you could wait for CD Project Red to update the PS4 version of Cyberpunk 2077 enough to finally make it playable on that platform, it could be quite some time before that actually happens. Instead, consider playing one of these PS4 games that each offer something that will help you forget about Cyberpunk 2077 (if only for a little while).

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided isn’t quite as good as Human Revolution or the original Deus Ex, but if Cyberpunk 2077 left you dreaming about this franchise, you should know that Mankind Divided is the most accessible modern Deus Ex title available on PS4. 

What Mankind Divided (mostly) gets right is the feeling that you’re able to solve any scenario pretty much however you’d like. While your choices sometimes come down to the old “stealth, charisma, action” decision paths, Mankind Divided excels at encouraging you to find unique solutions to complex problems. It then rewards you with the feeling that you may have solved that problem in a way that nobody else quite has (even if that obviously isn’t always true). 

Even better, Mankind Divided doesn’t push too hard for an open-world setting it can’t quite handle, which means that it arguably does a better job than Cyberpunk at showcasing its stylish settings filled with little world-building and storytelling moments. 

Fallout: New Vegas

Technically, it’s easier to play Fallout 4 on PS4 than Fallout: New Vegas, but considering that Fallout 4 shares some issues with Cyberpunk in terms of ideas that don’t quite land, it might be worth a month’s subscription to PS Now just to play this gem. 

After all, Cyberpunk 2077’s best feature is the quality of its side stories and missions, which also happens to be one of the things that Fallout: New Vegas excels at. The difference is that New Vegas’ side missions are arguably better and often help expand New Vegas’ faction-driven world in a way that Cyberpunk seemingly strives for but rarely achieves. 

Yes, New Vegas is an incredibly buggy game, but it’s also an example of how video game bugs are easier to forgive when they’re acquired in the service of crafting something quite special. 

The Outer Worlds

The Outer Worlds is a (nearly) perfect modern RPG for fans of developer Obsidian’s style or even those looking for a tribute to the best RPGs from Bethesda, BioWare, and other legendary studios. 

The Outer Worlds offers a more methodical RPG experience than what you’ll find in Cyberpunk 2077, but if you love great dialog, interesting character-building options, and memorable companions/side characters, then this is absolutely one of the best sci-fi role-playing experiences of the last console generation. 

The Outer Worlds isn’t even an especially long game (unless you’re really trying to see and do everything), so you could even pair it with one of the other titles on this list. 

Ghostrunner

While Ghostrunner’s October 2020 release date and “cyberpunk” style caused some to initially dismiss it as an indie cash-in on the Cyberpunk 2077 hype, this game is actually closer to a more action-oriented take on Mirror’s Edge. 

Actually, Ghostrunner is one of the most fast-paced and creative action games in recent memory. It rarely offers you a moment to slow down, and the skill required to overcome its most devious roadblocks invokes that “zen” state you only get from certain games.

Ghostrunner is a sneakily good Cyberpunk 2077 alternative for those who loved that game’s genre trappings and are on board with this underrated game’s pace and style.

Invisible, Inc. 

Truth be told, one of these spots really should go to one of the modern entries in the Shadowrun series. Since those games aren’t available for PS4, though, then let’s take a slight detour into something a little different. 

As a turn-based stealth strategy game, Invisible Inc. doesn’t share a lot of gameplay DNA with Cyberpunk 2077. What the two do have in common, though, are fascinating sci-fi worlds run by corporations and the operatives who oppose (and assist) them. 

If you enjoy tactical gameplay at all and want something with Cyberpunk 2077-esque style, then Invisible Inc. could just be the gem you’ve been looking for. 

Cloudpunk

Here’s another smaller game that got mixed up in the Cyberpunk 2077 hype despite offering a completely different experience.

You won’t find a lot of Cyberpunk 2077-style action in this game about delivering packages, but in terms of world design and lore, I’d honestly put Cloudpunk above CD Projekt Red’s controversial epic. Cloudpunk may not benefit from a fraction of that game’s budget, but its Blade Runner-like world is so easy to lose yourself in. 

Cloudpunk is just one of the best ways to spend a little time in a sci-fi dystopia. 

Watch Dogs: Legion

Watch Dogs: Legion generated a little buzz when it was first revealed, but the talk around this title died out a bit too soon.

Watch Dogs: Legion’s “play as any NPC” gameplay gimmick isn’t quite as deep as it maybe could have been, but it ultimately serves to enhance what is otherwise a very good open-world game that still features many of the best qualities that defined its also underrated predecessor.

While not a 1:1 replacement for Cyberpunk 2077 by any means, I’d still argue that this is one of the best ways to explore a large and hostile sci-fi environment while enjoying some clever gameplay.

Prey

I freely admit that I was initially somewhat disappointed by Prey. At the time it was released, I just felt like the game didn’t quite do enough to improve the games that clearly inspired it.  

Some of my reservations about the game remain, but what I can tell you is that Prey features one of the best “atmospheres” I’ve seen in a video game in the last 15 or 20 years. Prey’s world falls somewhere between Robocop and a really good sci-fi horror movie. It manages to keep you wanting more of its corporate dystopia setting despite regularly giving you reasons to worry about what’s behind the next corner.

Even better, Prey’s gameplay features enough of that Deus Ex/BioShock style to occasionally offer Cyberpunk 2077 kind of moments.  

Dishonored 2

I don’t think it’s possible to sing the praises of the Dishonored series enough. That being the case, let me use this time as an excuse to remind you that you really should play Dishonored 2: one of the most underrated games of the last console generation. 

Cyberpunk 2077 occasionally does a very good job of offering multiple solutions to complex problems, but even at its best, it just can’t match what Dishonored 2 achieves in that arena. Not since the glory days of the Thief franchise have I played a game that does such a great job of using level design to sell a world while encouraging players to constantly explore new solutions.

Honestly, you should play Dishonored 2 even if you couldn’t care less about Cyberpunk 2077. 

The Witcher 3

Maybe it’s because it’s the game that arguably contributed more to the Cyberpunk 2077 hype than anything else, but I feel like there’s a sense of hesitation when it comes to recommending The Witcher 3 as a kind of Cyberpunk 2077 alternative. Granted, it’s a different game in many respects, but I feel that some of that hesitation is based on the currently low public opinion of developer CD Projeckt Red.

However, it’s fairly easy to separate the two games and elevate The Witcher 3 with one hand while dismissing at least the PS4 version of Cyberpunk 2077 with the other. The Witcher 2 proved that CD Projekt Red was one of the most exciting studios in gaming, but nothing could have prepared anyone for the ways that The Witcher 3 addressed nearly all of that game’s issues while advancing the art of video game storytelling and world-building. 

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Maybe it will make you just a little sadder than it used to, but The Witcher 3 is obviously still a truly great game. 

The post 10 PS4 Games to Play Instead of the Still Broken Cyberpunk 2077 appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[lilacflamesss]

Shattered (Chapter 3.5)

Summary: Hinami tries to deal with her sorrows through seeking Ayato out. Ayato can never turn away the girl he loves far more than he should. Two people with unrequited feelings, dealing with them in very different ways. Human AU. (1.7k words)

Warning: This fic contains unhealthy copic mechanisms, heavy sexual content, and plenty of problematic/ dubious things which I absolutely do not condone at all. This is a work of fiction that takes on a more mature, physical take on Ayahina’s relationship as opposed to the typical conventional one. Please feel free not to read this fic if it’s not your cup of tea! 

A/N: I ended up writing this mini-scene to at least give some insights into Ayato’s head about the events that went on in chapter 3, though not too in-depth as well to maintain the intensity for subsequent chapters. Mainly it’s because I wanted to write a morning after where Ayato wakes up first HAHA.  Please do reblog this and feel free to leave some comments!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 3.5 | Chapter 4

Preview: 

Another blatant lie, another terrible attempt at hiding it. He winces at the sound of his voice, turning away from her, using the need for sugar as an excuse to hide his expression. He’s not going to see his sister. He knows he won’t go at all and even if he makes an attempt to, he’ll only turn back midway. He can’t face her, not after acting like a huge ass kid, not after hurting her and definitely not after endangering her child. Honestly, what would he even do if something had happened to that kid-- his own niece or nephew-- and what if it affected Touka as well? He can try to continue being the biggest asshole around; he can try to convince the whole world he hates his sister more than anything. But there’s more to their relationship that just that. A mere fallout isn’t enough to erase every second they’re spent by each other’s side; a mere argument isn’t enough to make him forget what she’s done for him.

His stomach falls. Being an ungrateful piece of shit is one thing, but it is incomparable to actually hurting her and even though she seemed to have walked out unscathed, he wonders if that’s truly the case. How frighten must Touka have been when she’s falling? Her hands had immediately gone to her belly, her face had gone ashen white and she had totally stiffened. She was terrified, not for herself, but for her baby-- the poor, innocent foetus that’s barely even given a chance to live, yet was almost destroyed by someone of its own blood.

He wakes up smelling lavenders and strawberries, nose buried in a head smooth hair. He stays in that position for a while, basking in the scent and the comfort of being curled up against her, under the duvet during the cold winter morning. It’s been weeks since he’s been able to hold her like that and while rare due to him always waking up after her, he’s woken up to her curled up against him more times than he can count already. Sometimes it feels like she has practically moved in. But even if this is the case, it always feels so surreal that the first thing he sees in the morning is her and that the first thing he’s made aware of when he wakes up is the fact that they’re pressed against each other, limbs tangled and holding each other tight. It’s a dream come true for him-- a fantasy which he wishes will never come to an end.

Hinami is burning up beside him. Ayato feels the heat radiating off her skin from the hand he has pressed against her tummy under the shirt she’s wearing. Clearly, they made a dumb choice the previous day. He feels like hitting his own head. Why did he think a dirty alley in the middle of winter was even a good idea?

Even though he’s slept over it, the gnawing in his abdomen has yet to fade and it continues eating him from within. He longs to just forget the previous day, but Hinami will start nagging at him if he starts to chug down the remaining beer he has in his refrigerator or if he even dares to pull out the pack of cigarettes he has in the drawer by his bedside. She’s so naggy. She reminds him of his sister in the past, always forcing him to continuously do something about the mess his room is in or his terrible eating habits. It’s a pain but it’s a kind of pain he craves and loves to experience even more.

His head spins as he recalls the sister whom he once followed behind like a puppy would after its owner-- the same sister he had yelled at and hurt, almost killing the child growing within her. It brings a bitter taste to his mouth.

He had forgotten she’s pregnant; he didn’t realise she is; he hadn’t pushed her that hard, she’s just weak. His mind scrambles to form justifications, to defend himself from the guilt that’s threatening to wear down on him. But every justification is as good as a styrofoam board, the logical condemnations he has of himself smashing through it like a martial artist’s fist. The fact remains that he made a mistake, an utterly terrible one, and he can’t do anything about it.

Hinami coughs and Ayato gets up, leaning over her to feel her forehead. She’s seriously burning up, not too much to the point he has to worry, but enough for him to know that she’ll really fall ill if they ignore it. She’s still asleep, so he decides to continue letting her rest. But he gets out of bed anyway, adjusting the comforter to cover her body properly before he heads to the kitchen. He’s sure he has some tea somewhere and he’s read somewhere that tea helps with soothing the body down.

He finds the tea bags pretty fast, but water still needs to be boiled. Ayato makes a quick work of filling a kettle with water and heating it up, but he leaves it to boil by itself as he starts to fill a small basin with water. He brings it back to his room, places it on the side-table and searches his closet for a piece of cloth. The best he managed to get is an old bandanna, and he decides to make do with that. His movements seemed to have woken Hinami and she rolls over to lie on her back. She opens her eyes, looking at him in confusion.

“Ayato?” She had sounded a little different the previous night, but her voice is completely weaker and more strained right now. She tries to sit up completely, but Ayato’s at her side in a matter of seconds, pushing her to lie back down.

“How do you feel?”

“Pretty bad,” she admits. “My body hurts.”

He feels partly responsible. No, he feels totally responsible. It’s because he was acting like an idiot that she fell sick. Of course there’s going to be some kind of bug or virus in that disgusting alley-- what did he expect when he was pushing her down onto the filthy floor? He dips the bandanna into the basin of water, before wringing it a little. After folding it slightly, he dabs it on Hinami’s forehead and cheeks.

“This should help you feel better. I’m making some tea as well,” he says. She smiles while she looks at him, watching him as he rises the cloth before pressing it against her.

“Thank you, Ayato. It does make me feel a little fresher.” She attempts to sit up, but he pushes her down again.

“Just stay in bed and rest. I’ll get you some tea when it’s ready.”

“You don’t have to do this. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not a bother… I do enjoy taking care of you.” That’s not a lie, honestly. When he does that, it feels like he’s closer to her in a very different way from when they’re having sex or cuddling up in bed. But he also admits that there’s a lot more to this than just that. The guilt for forcing her down in such an environment probably has more to do with it but there’s no way he’s going to tell her that.

Hinami coughs again, bringing her hand up to her mouth. Ayato’s vaguely aware of the whistling of the kettle from the kitchen and he knows he has to turn to it. He dips the cloth in water again, squeezes it, though he leaves it much damper than it was earlier on, before he places it on Hinami’s head. Hinami is looking up at him in confusion but he simply offers her a smile before turning to leave the room to walk into the kitchen.

He’s pouring water into the mugs when he hears footsteps and he’s about to turn to her to nag her into returning back to bed when she winds her arm around his waist and presses her body against him, peeking at what he’s doing.

“What did I do to get treated like a princess?” she murmurs, nuzzling her face against his chest. He swears he feels a brief peck.

“You’re sick. You need to be in bed.” She sniffs as he speaks, as if to prove his point, but before he can really say anything else, she’s lightly rubbing her hands against his bare skin, distracting him for a moment. 

“I’m fine,” she says.

“Yeah… but maybe it’s better to stay away from dirty alleys. Definitely not a good idea to fuck there in the middle of winter,” he admits.

“Are you trying to say you hadn’t known it’ll be a bad idea?”

He did, but not for this reason. “You learn something new everyday.”

“You’re so stupid,” she complains, slapping him lightly. He pushes one of the mugs towards her and Hinami detaches herself from him to pick it up.

“There’s a reason why you’re the one who’s on a scholarship while I’m here struggling with my GPA,” he sighs.

“Your GPA will be a lot better if you stop spending all your money on beers and cigarettes and ending up having to take up extra shifts to make up for that…” Hinami grumbles, taking a sip of her drink. “Enough about that… Ayato, are you feeling better?”

“Me?”

“Yeah… because you know… about yesterday. I wonder if you’re feeling better now.”

His first instinct is to deny it and be honest, but he smiles at her instead. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Hinami stares at him, brows furrowing at his words. Ayato has always prided himself on his ability to keep what he truly feels at bay and lie easily to deceive others, but even he has to admit that he sounded like a croaking toad when he answered her. He shrugs, took a big gulp from his own mug and grimaces at the bitterness.

“Are you gonna see your sister?”

“Yeah, one day.”

Another blatant lie, another terrible attempt at hiding it. He winces at the sound of his voice, turning away from her, using the need for sugar as an excuse to hide his expression. He’s not going to see his sister. He knows he won’t go at all and even if he makes an attempt to, he’ll only turn back midway. He can’t face her, not after acting like a huge ass kid, not after hurting her and definitely not after endangering her child. Honestly, what would he even do if something had happened to that kid-- his own niece or nephew-- and what if it affected Touka as well? He can try to continue being the biggest asshole around; he can try to convince the whole world he hates his sister more than anything. But there’s more to their relationship that just that. A mere fallout isn’t enough to erase every second they’re spent by each other’s side; a mere argument isn’t enough to make him forget what she’s done for him.

His stomach falls. Being an ungrateful piece of shit is one thing, but it is incomparable to actually hurting her and even though she seemed to have walked out unscathed, he wonders if that’s truly the case. How frighten must Touka have been when she’s falling? Her hands had immediately gone to her belly, her face had gone ashen white and she had totally stiffened. She was terrified, not for herself, but for her baby-- the poor, innocent foetus that’s barely even given a chance to live, yet was almost destroyed by someone of its own blood.

Ayato doubts he’s able to stomach any more tea and he’s flushing everything down the sink before he realises what he’s doing or that Hinami is watching everything.

“Ayato? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he murmurs. “I guess I’m not that big of a tea person.”

He turns to her and smiles, just like he always does with her. Hinami seems concerned, but she also seems really conflicted about it, tiptoeing on whether to push the issue further or not. He doesn’t want her to bother to much about it, definitely doesn’t want her to bother too much about him, so all he can really do is keep her mind off it. He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her waist, gently pulling her closer so that she doesn’t end up spilling the tea.

“I’m going to take a shower… Wanna join me?”

It’ll cool her fever down at least.

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this! Once again, please please do reblog if you like this! It’ll really help me out. Feel free to leave comments in the tags/ reblogs/ replies or through asks!

It’s exam period now and I’m going on a vacation immediately after that, so Chapter 4 might take awhile! I’m sorry for that. I hope you guys enjoyed this! I debated whether to include that last line, but I decided I might as well give you guys some spoilers for the next few chapters that’s not Touken and sub Ayato :) I’m gonna sleep now, so good night everyone! 

[sweetbroloveit]

The 100 Season 4 Finale

Holy shit y’all! I watched it this morning and I wasn’t quite able to process it all so I watched again it tonight. It was really intense and I pretty much scream-sobbed the whole way through. And then I cried even more on the second viewing.

Thoughts and feels under the cut. (LOL, this is 3 pages y’all, so grab a bottle of wine first)

The Blake Siblings moment was BEAUTIFUL! I love them so much. I loved the mythology callback and how he teased her for ruining his Prometheus metaphor! I’m thrilled she finally said ‘I love you’ and even though his reply was cut off, at least he said it in 4x11 so she knows. And them both saying ‘May we Meet Again’ to the dead radio also killed me in the best way.

With regards to Wonkru in the bunker, I’m kind of bummed we didn’t get to see more of the fallout from Kane and Jaha’s choice last week, but there really just wasn’t time. I saw a review suggest this should have been a 2 hour finale and I actually think that would have been awesome, maybe then they could have spent the first half focused on the bunker, and the second half with the time crunch space race? But anyway. Just to touch on the Octavia as commander story: I’m really glad Indra specified that this wasn’t the same as being Heda/The Commander as we’ve known it. Octavia isn’t taking the Flame, she’s not trying take on a spiritual role or be blessed by the Faith, she is their champion and their leader in her own way. The forehead charm kind of bugged me in season 3 for edging on cultural appropriation, but I think giving it its own symbolic importance has helped. So it’s not just decoration or someone playing dress up, it’s a symbol of the leader – much like Skairkru’s chancellor’s pin.

Now on to the best part – the remaining Delinquents and friends:

I really wish those scripts hadn’t been leaked so early in the season. Even though I never read them, they obviously influenced people’s speculations and fandom discussion so you couldn’t help but know Clarke would be left behind. And the promos showed her on a post-praimfaya Earth, so that was dumb. It took some of the fun out of it, but the mining colony prisoner transport landing instead of the Space Delinquents was a cool twist at least.

I was really looking forward to a season of the Delinquents in space and the adults in the bunker on earth, that would have been a great callback to season 1 but… that’s exactly why they wouldn’t do that storyline, because they have done it before. So I can understand their choices based on the story they seem to want to tell next season: going back to 3 factions returning to earth – Space People (Mining Colony Prisoners), Grounders (Clarke and Madi) and Mountain Men (Wonkru underground). I really hope the Space Delinquents get back to Earth soon and that everyone in the bunker is okay. I’ll be excited to see the leadership triumvirate of Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia take on the Mining Prisoners (assuming they will be the new antagonists).

The scene where the space gang was suffocating, while trying to connect the oxygen up, was incredible. I felt like I also couldn’t breathe. And I absolutely loved how they all cared for each other, sharing their oxygen and pulling everyone closer to the vents. They felt like a real team, Emori and Echo included (bless you Echo for pulling off Bellamy’s helmet when his oxygen finally gave out!)

I loved Monty and Murphy’s scenes on the ground – Murphy has grown so much. Monty hugging him and saying maybe he doesn’t hate him anymore was amazing!

I also really loved Bellamy’s scenes with Raven and Echo. At first I thought Echo was up to some sabotaging shadiness when she put on her white face paint. Her ritual was so similar to the Azgeda assassin’s when they blew up Mount Weather, I really thought she was going to fuck everything up. Her suicide plan took me by surprise since the whole reason she saved the Delinquents last week was to secure a place in the lighthouse bunker and survive. But I guess the idea of living in space was rather daunting and just reminded her of how isolated she was from her own people. The look on her face when she saw the rocket was quite telling. I liked how Bellamy talked her down, he was super honest about how he may never trust her but he was still compassionate. It reminded me of how he talked Raven out of running away in season 1, by pointing out how the group needs her.

Bellamy and Raven had some great scenes as well. I loved their final scene when he asked if she was with him and she said “always”. That was really special. I personally have never seen any romantic chemistry between them, their sex scene in season 1 still makes me cover my eyes, but I like their friendship. And I’m pretty sure they’re going to hook Bellamy up with either Raven or Echo during the time jump (since he thinks Clarke is dead *sob!*) and I would rather it be Raven than Echo tbh.

BELLARRRRRRRKKKKKKE!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I’m so sad they’ve been separated for 6 fucking years! But again, we knew it was coming. I thought at first, I would rather them be separated than have them hook up during the 5 year time jump and us miss all the development. But really they have had 4 seasons worth of build up so as a shipper I would have been happy if season 5 started with them being all cute and domestic up in space, like ‘Boom! We’re canon now!’ But I digress…

The overly-optimistic part of me thought maybe he would give up his spot on the rocket and stay with her, but that really wouldn’t make sense since he’s not a nightblood, and they needed to show him making the rational choice rather than the emotional choice to further his character development. I think Bellamy’s growth as a leader is going to be a big feature of next season, but in order to push that they sadly needed to separate him from Clarke, his partner, for a significant period. My hopeful shipper side also kicked in when she started their heart-heart (or rather heart-to-head) and I thought for a second she might make a love confession. But alas… we have yet another season to wait for canon romantic-Bellarke. But we really did get some amazing scenes with them this episode.

THAT HUG! OMG! The way he rushed to her and pulled her into his arms, and the way she squeezed him so tight she linked her hands behind his back, and when he put his hand in her hair at the back of her neck… I AM CRYING AGAIN. They love each other so fucking much!

SO many touches this episode! I screamed for their entire scene up on the balcony. The way he gently caressed her face and later she put her hand on his chest/heart and touched his temple… I CAN’T! They are not platonic. Those were not friend touches. They are in love.

*Ahem*

Fangirling aside, their conversation was beautiful. I loved the role reversal from 4x06: This time Clarke was the one who wanted to have the feelings talk and Bellamy was the one trying to shut down any notion that this was goodbye; he was convinced they were both going to make it. But she really thought there was a chance Abby’s premonition was true so she was trying to prepare him for leading without her. Just like 4x06, she told him how special he was. And she was 100% right, she has always seen who he really is and admired his heart. When she told him he needed to use his head sometimes too, the way he said “That’s what I have you for” absolutely fucking broke me.

As for Bellamy leaving Clarke behind, it had to be done. He was right, it’s what Clarke wanted. After their conversation, Bellamy took on the responsibility for their people – sacrificing Clarke is part of that (season 1 finale parallels anyone?). He has to make sure their people survive and that means not only getting them safely off the dying planet, but also being there for them and leading them for the next five years in space. The way he kept glancing at the doors, hoping she’d make it just in time, his quiet “May we meet again”, and then “I left her behind” when he thinks he sacrificed the person that he loves for nothing – It was not an easy decision to make, but it just shows how much he has grown as a leader since season 1. We save who we can save today.

But now he thinks Clarke Griffin is dead that that hurts me like you have no idea. But he won’t let her death be in vain. He is going to make damn sure every one of those space delinquents thrives. He’s going to be the best leader he can be, to honour her. I loved him looking at The Baton bottle at the window on the Ark (the Ring?). So technically it was Jaha passing on the baton, but I think it’s obviously also a symbol of Clarke handing the sole leadership to Bellamy (for now).

Oh and my girl Clarke Griffin! So brave! So strong! The worst part of her staying on Earth for me was the idea that she would be by herself for 5 years. I really didn’t want that for her. So I’m glad she found Madi. I’m not wild about the sudden Clarke-as-a-mom storyline. It feels like a cheap way to “soften” her? Like she adopts a child and now she’ll be a very different person and make completely different choices? I don’t know. I’m probably wrong. I’m sure they’ll make it work. I thought they’d go the Heda Clarke route this season and they proved me wrong (and called out the shittiness of it) so I’m willing to keep an open mind.

AND SHE’S BEEN RADIO-ING BELLAMY BLAKE EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 6 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!? The thought of him keeps her sane, reminds her of her humanity!? I mean!?! Even when he is millions of miles away HE STILL KEEPS HER CENTERED. I really don’t know if the show will ever go full-on romantic Bellarke, but they have already proven that they are soulmates. I really hope they let them make out and get married etc. but I’m willing to wait for it as long as the show keeps giving their relationship the attention and care that it deserves.

Gah! Is it 2018 yet?

[fannishcodex]

SVtFoE Theory: Rasticore and Ms. Heinous

For an actually pretty hilarious character with a cool design and some interesting worldbuilding implications so far, there’s something that keeps bugging me--like, something that keeps occurring to me, and it’s led me to a theory that kinda disturbs even me. (I may also be reading into this too much, but thinking about this still interests me, even with the dark turn it took.)

In the first Heinous episode from season 1, briefly shown are these attack/guard/security dogs Heinous uses, that have a gem embedded in one of their eyes.

Fast forward to season 2, and we have Rasticore, also serving Heinous like the dogs, and also with a gem embedded in one of his eyes.

Something about that kinda eerie similarity with the eye-gem between the dogs and Rasticore keeps giving me even more unsettling thoughts. It even seems like the dogs and Rasticore have the /exact/ same type of gem. This similarity between them seems very specific, making me think it could end up being relevant. 

Basically it all makes me wonder this:

What if Rasticore isn’t operating entirely under his own free will? What if that gem in his eye is another form of brainwashing Heinous uses to control others, like the dogs and Rasticore?

More about my reasoning for this theory, with more background speculation/implication, and analysis of more present-time scenes:

1) The history of conflict between Mewmans/Mewman rulers and the Monsters. To sum up, Mewnipendance Day basically shows the Mewmans conquering the Monsters’ homeland, then revile them, and celebrate their violent victory over them. Other episodes in the series imply the Monsters’ poverty and generally mistreated status, and Mewmans’ active contribution to this or basic apathy to it. Major figures in this Mewman system oppressing the Monsters are the female Butterfly royals/*nobles, who can inherit the royal wand that was instrumental in conquering the Monsters long ago and seems to continue to keep them oppressed, and are marked by physical stylized symbol marks on their cheeks.

(*”Game of Flags”* and a few other episodes seem to indicate there’s some assumed-to-be Mewman nobility--or noble-looking women outside of Moon and Star, who have a direct royal lineage and direct inheritance of the wand--that also get cheek marks.)

Ms. Heinous does have club marks on her cheeks, and it’s still a mystery as to what her exact relation to the Butterfly family is--but the marks are a clear indicator that she does have one.

Also, besides her screentime, status as a recurring character and one of the more threatening and disturbing antagonists, implications of a larger vendetta, the fact that her school played a part in the very first episode, and the mystery surrounding her, the inclusion of the club marks in the tapestry room indicates Ms. Heinous may be even more significant later. (I think this is the first time the classic card suite symbols have all been literally gathered together in one place, a.k.a. the cheek marks of Star/heart, Moon/diamond, Heinous/club, and Eclipsa/spade.)

Heinous is pretty much associated with the royal Butterflys, and thus can be associated with their oppression of the Monsters. This opens up the possibility that she could be in fact engaging in that oppressive behavior too, by literally stealing a Monster’s/Rasticore’s free will and making him essentially her slave.

2) There is a shadowy figure in Moon and Toffee’s tapestry that does seem to resemble Rasticore.

See also here and here for more discussion on this resemblance.

The tie-in book, “Star and Marco's Guide to Mastering Every Dimension,” says Rasticore was in violation of the Mewman-Monster accord like Toffee, and the fight pictured in the tapestry could be related to those violations. If Rasticore was there, it implies he too could fall along the traditional Mewman v. Monster lines--that Rasticore too fought against Mewman control, even alongside Toffee. (While Heinous may represent Mewman control.)

If Rasticore fought against Mewmans, why is he really working with one? There’s the possibility that Monsters’ poor status can drive him to serve her because he needs the employment, he’s desperate; it could be something else; or it could be that he’s not serving her willingly at all.  The tapestry shows things went wrong for Toffee, as they likely did for Rasticore, and whoever else they fought with. Things could’ve gone /really/ wrong for Rasticore; what if during fallout from the loss against Moon/the Mewmans, his rebellion was ruthlessly stamped out by enslaving him with an enchanted gem to brainwash him, putting him under Heinous’ control?

3) Heinous and her school for wayward princesses ended up being very focused on brainwashing, forcing her idea of perfection on her students while trying to eradicate their free well. It’s possible Heinous may use brainwashing to an even greater extent than we first realized, using it on those who work under her, such as the dogs and Rasticore.

4) Back to Heinous’ dogs--actually the first time we see someone serve her while having a gem embedded in their eye. Again, the dogs and Rasticore both have a gem in one of their eyes, and they obey Heinous. A little observation on appearances/terms: the dogs seem heavily coded as guard dogs for Heinous; Heinous does refer to Rasticore as her bodyguard, and he can be believably seen as serving in that role too. 

Only recently did another thing occur to me about this. There is possibly a little of this in “Gift of the Card”, but much more of it in "Heinous”: what seems like affection she has for Rasticore. It just occurred to me that how it’s shown, her dialogue and actions:

-What seems like terms of endearment she uses for Rasticore, and even cutesy/baby talk.

-Caressing/stroking/petting his arm, the way she holds it close.

I just realized, more and more, it reminds me of Heinous treating Rasticore as if he were her pet.

“ Come now, Rasticore. There's my baby bounty hunter. You're growing back so fast. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. “

“ He's my dear, sweet Rasticore. This is just his arm, but he's part lizard, so his whole body will grow back soon. And then he'll be a big boy, won't you, sweetie? [kisses Rasticore's arm]”

“  Why, Rasticore! You've grown an elbow! You'll be a big boy again soon. So very soon. “

Bolded my emphasis. (x) Such dialogue above keeps making me think that Heinous’ apparent affection for Rasticore can be seen as specifically the type used for a pet, even a pet dog, like the guard dogs she used before. (Calling him “baby, big boy, sweetie;” the specific repeating message “yes, you are” that can be typically associated with pets.)

Also just realized, when she launches Rasticore’s arm at Marco and the others, orders him to attack even like that: it reminds me of her ordering a guard dog--even exactly like her one-gem-eyed dogs in season 1--to attack.

“ Now, Rasticore, bring me Princess Marco's bones! “

“Gemini, Rasticore, attack! “ 

It does even sort of remind me of someone ordering their summoned creature/trained animal to attack. How Heinous treats Rasticore makes me consider the possibility of this theory; like if Heinous treats Rasticore like a pet dog, that strengthens his link to the guard dogs with gem eyes, it’s another thing they have in common, and all together this could indicate a larger case of brainwashing going on. 

So, because of this, I keep thinking Rasticore is not acting entirely of his own free will. That he is in fact under Heinous’ control and is pretty much like her other guard dogs, who have a gem eye like him, which is actually the main tool that keeps them brainwashed under Heinous’ control.

P.S. Bonus:

I literally just remembered this guy:

Ms. Heinous’ assistant who’s been with her since her first episode. I just really noticed how there’s something up with his eyes too. It even looks like he has one eye--but the only thing he has close to one eye left looks like a false one, while the other is more visibly scarred/destroyed. In fact, the case could be made that what could be his false eye can slightly resemble a gem too, with the way its segmented within the device frame. (But looking significantly different from the gems embedded in the eyes of the dogs and Rasticore.)

I also remembered that his name is Gemini.

And then there are Heinous’ robot guards, likely only working with her because they’re programmed to do so. And the brief look at what looked like a senior princess and/or alumni teaching a new student, and again likely only working for Heinous because she was brainwashed to. Now I’m just getting more interested in the idea that Heinous is so fixated on brainwashing, practically everyone working for her isn’t entirely doing it of their own free will (from possibly Rasticore, to the guard dogs, to programmed robot guards, to brainwashed princess students, to Gemini).

Anyway, again, I think the guard dogs and Rasticore both have gems in their eyes as a way to keep them under Heinous’ control.

(Thanks again @lemonadesoda for support on this.)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #97

gaming survey.

let's start with the classic: what's your favorite game?  why?   "silent hill 2."  it is so fucking well-thought out and went places no one ever thought a game would go.  it was psychological as fuck and absolutely terrifying in that sense.  it had such an intricate storyline and was positively heart-wrenching.  the characters were very unique, and oh boy, don't even think of forgetting the soundtrack.  it was so, so immersive.  the monsters were incredibly symbolic, and it really, really got you to question your own conscience.  i could literally go on about how wonderful this game is for hours on end. least favorite game?   probably "eleusis," whose name i don't care if i spelled wrong.  i know it's an indie game, but holy fuck, it's horrible.  the puzzles make legitimately no sense and literally requires a walkthrough. what's your favorite gaming genre?   psychological horror, easily. least favorite gaming genre?   probably first-person shooters. what's your favorite childhood game?   "spyro the dragon: year of the dragon."  i loved the entire series, but that was my favorite. when did you start gaming, anyway?   literally as soon as i could hold a controller and had the coordination to understand the buttons. scariest game ever?   "scp containment breach."  i couldn't play it because the first scp scared me so much lol.  however, i've watched my favorite youtuber play it many times.  despite it being in the indie scene, it's an incredible game and should really, really cost money.  hmmmm... actually, "parasite eve" may overthrow it.  not in terms of jumpscares, but in terms of, "what if that really happened?"  scientifically, maybe it's possible.  it explains why so very well.  it's the only game that ever resulted in me having to take an anxiety pill.  oh yeah, fun fact, we actually had a demo of the game on a demo disc, and mom hated the preview of it so much that she refused to let my sisters and i play it lol. favorite comedic game?   oh that's easy, "five nights at fuckboy's 3."  it is sooo fucking funny.  i love all of them, but the third's the funniest. favorite action game?   "resident evil 4."  it was one of my first action horror experiences. saddest game in the history of ever?   "silent hill 2," again.  i fucking cried so hard and my week was ruined lol.  that game legitimately changed me and made me ponder my decisions much more. favorite game based off a tv show or movie?   probably the first season of "the walking dead."  the characters were very unique (kenny is the Love of my Life), and the plot was phenomenal.  i wasn't much of a fan of the gameplay (or lack thereof), but i was there for the story.  the ending had me sobbing.  i've never actually watched the tv show, but man i love that game.  season three hasn't been that good imo, but i enjoyed the second one, too. game with the most interesting concept?   the entire "silent hill," obviously.  the idea that our biggest regrets and demons exist in multiple layers of reality is cool as fuck.  "soma" is a close second.  the philosophical debate of "if you move a human's conscience to a machine, is it still human?" is incredible. game with the most fucked-up storyline?   "silent hill 2" or "silent hill 3."  sh2 was more psychological in how screwed-up it was, but sh3 was very brazen abut it.  it also has the only scene ever in a video game that made me gag.  like i had to walk away from the controller because i literally almost puked. favorite gaming otp?   that's p hard.  actually, wait, i like tyrande and illidan from "world of warcraft" a lot.  their story was sad as fuck.  jaina and arthas from the same game, too. favorite video game protagonist?   i have two: heather mason from sh2 and leon kennedy from the "resident evil" series.  both are just total badases.  heather mason reminds me a lot of myself, and leon is just super fucking cool and gives zero shits. favorite video game antagonist?   does pyramid head from the sh series count?  i mean in ways he's not really an antagonist, so.  if he's not included, maybe claudia wolf from "silent hill 3" (LOOK I KNOW I'M TALKING ABOUT IT A LOT BUT THE SERIES IS MY BABY OKAY).  she is a prime example of how religion can absolutely destroy a person, and i think it's really cool that she truly thinks she's doing what's good for the world.  i also really like walter sullivan from "silent hill 4" because he is just sooo incredibly fucked up with a really tragic story.  arthas menethil from "world of warcraft: wrath of the lich king" is also amazing and i pitied him so much. favorite video game monster?   pyramid head, bar none.  he is so mysterious and terrifying in his concept. sequel that disappointed you most?   hmmm.  i'm not sure.  i mean, if i absolutely had to pick, maybe "silent hill: origins?"  i mean don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the game, but it's my least favorite in the series. most under-rated game?   "AMNESIA: A MACHINE FOR PIGS."  oh my GOD.  i do NOT understand why people thought it was disappointing to the title.  that is one of the most fucked-up, greatest games i've ever played (it's my second favorite game) i've ever had the pleasure of playing.  it is way, way better than the first game.  it's another game that had me depressed for days and questioning my life. most over-rated game?   probably "call of duty" and the like.  i just don't see the appeal. favorite quote from a game?   "i have stood knee-deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with mustard gas. i have seen two brothers fall. i have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. i have dug trenches for the refugees; i have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into faith. a child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. a house of skulls in the jungle. the innocent, the innocent, mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. this is your coming century! they will eat them, mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will eat your hearts!" - "amnesia: a machine for pigs."  i get literally covered in goosebumps every single time i hear it.  it's about how absolutely horrid the world is today from the perspective of the past.  i also really enjoy "the only me is me... are you sure the only you is you?" from "silent hill: p.t." game you want made into a movie?   "SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS" OH MY GOD.  CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE. game you currently most want to play?   "the last guardian."  the story and trico are so fucking cute. what do you think of revamping classic games to "improve" them?   eh, i've never been too into it.  don't get me wrong, it works sometimes, but imo, it takes away the charm of the game sometimes.  ex., with "crash bandicoot" being remade.  i loved that game as a kid, but i think its graphics just added to the charm. favorite movie based off a game?   the first "silent hill." did you ever get those old demo discs as a kid?  did they ever influence you to buy a game?   yes.  i think we had three.  i was first exposed to "shadow of the colossus" by a demo disc.  i was totally into it and only played it a thousand times before buying it. were you ever or are you into the "final fantasy" craze?   not really.  i used to play "final fantasy viii" on a demo disc; my sisters, brother, and i loved it.  my bro was the only one who could beat the final boss (the spider thing) of the demo; he and ashley used to play it a lot.  i really liked it, and when i was young, wanted to buy it.  we all used to think squall was sexy as fuck lol.  the summons were super-duper cool too, especially rinoa's (i used to make her do her water dragon limit break constantly ha ha).  i did, however, have "final fantasty vii," and i got all the way to the second disc, but i eventually just fell out of playing it.  i think it was too long for me personally, although i really did enjoy the story. i'm sure you've heard of the "five nights at freddy's" one, too.  were you into it?   i've never played it myself and i personally wouldn't, but i've watched youtubers play it and i enjoy it.  the story and characters are cool (especially springtrap), and the story is quite frightening. hardest game you've ever beaten?   i am not even remotely kidding, "the legend of spyro: the eternal night."  it took me over a fucking year to beat that game and i rage-quit a lot. hardest boss monster?   jesus fucking christ.  there are three that top the list.  the ultimate being from "parasite eve" is probably number one, though.  he was hard as FUCK and took me like a whole goddamn day to beat.  his multiple phases were annoying, and the fact he could trap you at the VERY END if you picked the wrong door was a cardinal fucking sin.  basaran from "shadow of the colossus" was also horrific.  even malus wasn't that bad.  getting onto his back was a goddamn nightmare, especially when he got back up and if you misjudged your jump, you'd go flying.  ripto of "spyro the dragon: ripto's rage!" was also a childhood nightmare.  his phases were also annoying and he was just overall difficult.  i felt like a fucking god when i finally did beat him lol.  memory of alessa of sh3 was also hard for me, although she herself isn't that much of a difficult boss.  it was just that i had no ammo so had to melee her the whole time.  i got so fucking angry. how did you feel about "silent hill: p.t." being cancelled?  it was probably one of the most anticipated games of 2014.   want my honest opinion?  i'm glad it was cancelled.  that series is my fucking child and i would be legitimately furious if they fucked it up.  i had many issues with it.  one, the fact that norman reedus was made a model of the main character.  it just pissed me off that they designed him to look pretty much exactly like daryl dixon.  i don't want people to think "oh hey a guy from twd went to silent hill."  i also had a problem with them changing the name to "silent hills;" i really don't know why since it's such a minor thing, but it irked me regardless.  it also really, really bugged me that kojima openly said he's a bit of a wuss with horror games.  dude, you can't be like that when you're working with what is well-known to be one of the scariest series of all time.  i had full faith that del toro would be great for the series, but not kojima.  it also pissed me off that it was said that aliens might be involved in the game.  just... no.  that's not what silent hill is.  i get that it's a joke in the series, but to make it canon?  if they actually went through with that and made it so extraterrestrials were involved, i literally would've broken something.  ultimately, i'm glad it didn't work. favorite running joke or something of the like in a series?   the "i'm totally gonna stick my hand in this filthy toilet for a wallet" joke that the "silent hill" series has, rooting from when james sunderland did so in sh2.  i love the references. favorite side-kick?   uhhh.  cynder from "the legend of spyro: dawn of the dragon."  she not only looks super fucking cool, but she has an interesting story and is just overall really rad. saddest video game death?   well that's hard.  prepare for spoilers.  the one that hit me the hardest personally was probably vol'jin from wow.  he was my favorite character out of like the billion wow has, so him dying sucked.  not to even mention his death was super anti-climactic to where it pissed off the whole damn fanbase, despite being one of the most important characters.  lee from twd was also absolutely horrible.  ha, what a coincidence... they have the same voice actor.  #stopkillingdavidfennoy favorite plot twist?   spoiler warning once again.  my favorite and to me the most shocking was the fact james was responsible for mary's death in "silent hill 2."  it rocked my fucking world. best soundtrack?   "shadow of the colossus."  ko otani is a musical genius.  sh2 is a very close second. what's the first gaming console you ever had?   the original playstation. favorite setting in a game?   that's super hard considering so many games are absolutely gorgeous.  but i suppose lakeside amusement park from "silent hill 3."  i love the blood & rust, macabre feel to it.

[eloarei]

So I was tagged by @nomadsky the other day; thanks, Sekiei! There's little I love more than talking about my favorite characters. (By the way, Sekiei, some of your answers were like A+ so perfect, and a few of them were characters I would pick, so I might just note those characters and then pick someone else, for variety's sake.) (Also, the rules don't say how many to pick?? But I'm assuming they meant 10. I'll aim for that.) EDIT: THE RULES: post your favorite characters and what you like about them/ why.  In no particular order: Hanna Falk Cross (Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name (aka HINABN))

--- Not a sixteen year old girl. Hanna is a 24 year old guy, tiny, red-headed and adorkable, who apparently learned magic from a hobo and is allergic to ghosts. He's uniquely talented at fucking things up, has abandonment issues, and secrets I'll never know but will always haunt me. Despite the perma-hiatus status of the series, I still love him, even seven years later, so much so that I was willing to devote 2 years to writing a longfic about him. Honestly, I feel like I know him better than my own characters now. And, sure, it's probably my own semi-IC version of him, but that's probably not a surprise considering HINABN topped out at 100 pages, some of which didn't feature Hanna at all. Of course, you probably have already heard me say this five million times, but I wrote a story I'm pretty fond of, featuring this loser: Rogue.  Garrus Vakarian AND Runner-up: Mordin Solus (Mass Effect)

--- Sekiei already said Garrus, so I'll be brief and move on. Garrus is the most charming bug-dragon alien around. He's perfect, honestly. Would that men like him actually existed in real life, even in human form. --- I mean, I love Mordin. I actually would have romanced him if it was possible (not instead of Garrus; I'd have done a separate playthrough). I still think of him anytime someone says “seashells”. Mordin is a funny, interesting character that I think is often overlooked, partly because he only features in half of the series, I imagine. I've never read a Mordin fic, although I'd like to. I've read a few Shakarian fics that were pretty good, but I don't remember any of them off the top of my head. Killua Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter)

--- It was hard to choose between him and Gon, because I think of them largely as a team, but Killua is my favorite because of all the growth he goes through over the course of the series. He's a silly, irreverent, dangerous, smart-ass kid, but he has so much damage that's brought to the table by his friendship with Gon, and he becomes such a good heartfelt person by the end. Also he's totally a conduit for the absolute FEELS I get from the series. Whenever he screams or cries, I feel it in my soul. I've still not read any Killua fics that I think are truly top-notch, which is kind of surprising. Varric Tethras AND Runner-up Merrill (Dragon Age) 

--- Again, Sekiei already chose Varric, and mirrored my thoughts about him: he's fantastic and why the HELL couldn't we romance him?! He was absolutely my first choice, and I was honestly upset when I found he wasn't romanceable! --- This was kind of a hard choice, because I like a lot of the DA characters almost equally, but I find Merril to be especially precious. Weirdly, I never got around to romancing her, but she's one of those characters that I think is really adorable and I just want to pet her hair and give her tasty snacks and warm blankets. (Also I low-key ship her with Varric; don't ask me how that works. Or do.) Nick Valentine (Fallout 4)

--- Hoo boy let me tell you about Valentine. Gawd, he's such a damn beautiful android. And I don't really mean that in a physical way (because yeah he's cool looking; got a good aesthetic for sure, but I wouldn't say he's at all pretty). Valentine is 100% the kind of guy I want on my side, to have my back. He's somewhat similar to Garrus in that rogue lawman kind of way. (Speaking of “Rogue”, he reminds me of my portrayal of “the detective” (purely a coincidence, because I was 90% done writing Rogue before I played FO4), which clearly proves that I have a type.) His tragic backstory and circumstances mirror The Lone Survivor's almost perfectly, and they are really so wonderful together, which is why it KILLS ME that he was not romanceable. I think I'm still in denial, tbh. He's funny, sarcastic, yet still very sincere, and though he acts very confident and is well-liked even by people who don't like synths, he has this deep loneliness in him that really rips up my heart in all the best ways. (By the way, writing this spurred me to replay Fallout4, which spurred me to start a Valentine-centric fic I was fiddling with the plot of last year, so if I actually do finish that fic-- Sekiei, I'll have you to thank!) I read a great Nick/Nora fic last year, although I can only recommend the first like... 30-or-so chapters? because the last few sort of deviate from the quality of the beginning (imo), and the fic never got finished. Still worth a read. Jesse McCree AND Hanzo Shimada (Overwatch) 

--- Honestly, as someone who has scarcely played Overwatch, it feels a bit disingenuous to put one of their characters on my fave character list, but that's part of the charm of the series: you don't really have to play the game to get most of the details it takes to get involved in the fandom. And given how explosively popular it was this past year-end, I got pretty involved. If you follow my fandom blog, you might have noticed that it was 90% McHanzo for a few months. That's because there's something really charming about those two characters! (Or, at very least, the way fandom portrays them.) McCree is such a goddamn stereotype hahaha but I love him. A grown-ass man who dresses like a cowboy because WHY NOT, he seems to have a pretty easy-going temperament that makes me feel at home. Not to mention, you think of McCree and you can't help but think of the endless desert and vast blue sky. He's a big goof-ball but also dangerous with a bit of a dark past. You know I love the type. I'm writing a McCree-centric AU, but who knows if I'll finish it. There are already quite a lot of other great McCree fics out there. --- I tried not to pick two characters from the same series, but I love McCree and Hanzo equally and in different ways, so I couldn't not. Again, there's not a whole heck of a lot of canon for these characters (I mean, there's a bit, but not as much as if they were, say, the main characters of their own piece of media, and not left largely up to the interpretation of fans), but they seem to have pretty defined personalities. Hanzo is a fairly serious guy, with a fairly serious past, and I like that in a character, that sort of stoic sincerity. But he's also got a mischievous/silly streak, I think, if only evidenced in canon by the fact that he (much like Jesse) tends to dress in an outfit several centuries out of date. But he looks damn good in it! Honest to god, he's frickin' gorgeous. XD Like, what a beautiful damn character. And I love a character that can probably kill with a glance. Whew. Erhem. Aside from that, though, he also gives off a nice peaceful vibe-- meditating up high somewhere quiet with tree leaves blowing in the breeze. Great character aesthetic. Anyone who's in the Overwatch fandom has probably already heard of “Hang the Fool”, but it's far and away the best McHanzo fic available, and I highly recommend it! Fawkes (Fallout 3)

--- Often I know about characters before I encounter them in whatever media they're from. That's partly why I choose to get into games/shows/etc. I was caught off guard by Fawkes, a big scary green “super mutant” from Fallout 3, who you encounter near the end of the story. Up to that point, all the super mutants you meet are just big dumb brutes who are trying to kill you, and have a good chance of succeeding, because they are, as I mentioned, rather large and scary. But Fawkes was locked up by his kind precisely because he was different. He's intelligent, compassionate, and loyal-- truly one of the nicest and most 'good' people you ever stumble upon in the Capital Wasteland. Also he kicks ass, because he is fucking huge and carries a gattling gun like it's no big deal. If I play FO3 again, I'm rushing right to that part so I can pick him up as soon as possible. Also, I'm one of like maybe a handful of people who ship him with the Lone Wanderer, which prooobably makes it my rarest rare-pair. Luckily, my friend Choco wrote a kick-ass long-fic about them, which made my whole month when I read it last year.   Noctis Lucis Caelum (Final Fantasy XV)

--- It was really hard to choose one out of the four main guys from this series, but I eventually decided on the main character Noctis, because I really think he's a great main character. Final Fantasy main characters are known for being kind of whiny and emo, and Noctis doesn't exactly deviate from this plan, but he adheres to it in such a way that makes sense to me. I find him to be very realistic! He's 20. He's tired and just wants to sleep. He likes to play video games. He rolls his eyes at his dad's affection but obviously loves him. He goofs off with his friends but can get stuff done when the time comes. He's a cat person, but he likes dogs too. Oh and he loves food, but he's a picky eater. And unlike other FF main characters, his style is very casual. I have actually seen people who dress like him. ...I actually AM a people who dresses like him. He's a good character who didn't deserve any of the shit that was thrown his way-- but at least he had good friends. I've read a few good Noctis-related fics so far, but nothing very long that left much impression yet. Hoping I'll find one at some point. If not, maybe one of my own will end up fitting the bill.

Jinbe (One Piece)

--- Wrapping this up with another somewhat-obscure character, Jinbe from One Piece. (Or, if you like, because romanization is weird: Jinbei, Jimbe, Jimbei, etc) First, I love One Piece. It's a great, super-long anime with so many good characters! But Jinbe, oh. He's a big, blue, intimidating fish-man who often looks angry and has mannerisms/speech patterns that are reminiscent of I think both samurai and old mob-bosses. But he's an intensely sincere guy, who's fiercely protective of those who are important to him, and the promises he makes. Everything he does for Luffy makes me cry. XD When nobody else will risk giving Luffy a blood transfusion because of stupid old racist laws, he publicly declares his willingness. When Luffy's knocked out at Marineford and Akainu is coming after him, the way Jinbe holds Luffy and gives Akainu the most visceral snarl I've ever heard. I love it. I really like scary looking guys who are sweet. ALSO, I haven't seen any good Jinbe fics, so if anybody has one I'd love to see it. =3

Tagging: uh, I dunno. @braincoins, @tempuslunam, @chocochipbiscuit, @tequilatrashbin, @buddhistmamaduck, @milarca, and @ whoever else wants to do it. 

[idlemusingsofalex-blog]

Fallout 4, A game critique

An amusing critique of Fallout 4 and Bethesda as a whole, as written for entertainment purposes, a foray into nostalgia and because of a college deadline that almost killed me. 

Fallout 4 is a Lie, and this is why you should be mad.

Fallout 4, the acclaimed 2016 release of Bethesda studios, was a popular game upon its release, selling 12 million units on its first launch day.  But don’t let the numbers mislead you, Fallout 4 is intrinsically a cheap lie to consumers, players and the franchise itself.

Let’s start at the beginning. Fallout, the core game, classifies itself as an Adventure RPG and harkens back to the days of tabletop RPG’s like Dungeons and Dragons, specifically a variant known as G.U. R.P.S,  and is a creative DOS adventure created by Interplay and Black Isle Studios in which you can use many skills to determine your own path through the Wasteland. Fallout 2 follows much the same mechanic, though set about two decades after the first game.  Around the time of development for a third game from Interplay, the cancelled Project : Van Buren, Interplay went bankrupt due to bad business practice, and sold all rights of the game franchise to what is now Bethesda Studios. Years passed until, what can only be described as Bethesda’s game devs sitting at a table thinking “we can’t make another goddamn Elder Scrolls game, what do we do?”. They get an intern to dig through what I hope is the proverbial dumpster of rights deals Bethesda had made and found the small gem of Fallout.

From this, we can see Fallout 3, a failure in its own right, much less for the franchise, emerge. Amidst the cries of praise from paid off reviewers (this was when this was legal, and usually not frowned upon), you could hear the dissent of fans watching their loved franchise devolve into a hellspawn of first person shooter and RPG, with callous writing and boring plotlines at best (don’t even begin to talk about the issues with core game mechanics either, because any reviewer worth their salt would probably hit you).

But, somehow, possibly from the hype surrounding the astoundingly good trailers which were accelerated well beyond what normal consoles and machines could handle at the time, they made enough money from that steaming garbage dump to scrape together a “sequel”, and I say sequel because Fallout 3 changes so much of the 20 years of established lore that calling it a sequel to even Fallout in general is a reach.  With its overpriced at release DLC, not to mention the base game itself, littered with pre order “exclusives” and being such a buggy mess on certain platforms that it was rendered unplayable, Fallout 3 set the low standards that Bethesda continues to follow, even to this day.

Now of course, the engine itself is more or less sound. It is, of course an updated form of the Skyrim engine, known as the CREATION Engine, and its physics are about what you’d expect from a Bethesda game. Not unplayable but buggy nonetheless, events not triggering, textures incorrectly loading, entire system crash when all you did was move three inches to the left. Truly, a game engine couldn't be that hard for a major company to nail down. But oh, Bethesda is so synonymous with game engine failure that the internet has coined it’s own saying, the Bethesda Bug, in which a bug or glitch in a game is so bad that a player is unable to tell whether the game was bugged, or whether  developers simply hadn’t implemented certain parts of the storyline.

Now, this wouldn't be such an issue, you’d think, right? And in truth it wouldn't.

If they bothered to patched the game after releases.  

We’ll cover that further on.

It’s particularly telling, of course when both of the most downloaded modifications for your third and fourth installments to a series is an alternative start ability to the game, which allows you to completely bypass the pretty much set in stone character “creation” introduction, which basically sets your entire character's backstory (something that in its own self destroys the player control aspect). When your customers have to resort to MODIFYING THE CORE GAME, and I don't mean implementing a few graphics fixes, which they do anyway because Bethesda has a wonderful knack of never patching bugs in their games ever, and genuinely leaving it up to their fanbases -who already paid up to £60 for a completed game-, but instead scripting and voicing full alternatives to the main storyline and plot hook to turn the game into a semblance of an RPG, you’ve failed to create a game worth playing. This is made much more insulting when your main mantra is “It’s all about player choice”.

In regards to that choice, we are offered very, very little when it comes to the overall storyline and plot. The first major sin of poor writing is almost blase, and that is the game insists on piling exposition on you as soon as you start it up, with a narrated mini movie explaining the events leading up to the game’s events. To be fair, this is a staple in Fallout games, and it’s namely the way every previous fallout game has indeed started. Except, in those games, they changed depending on the title, none went into excruciating detail of the world, namely gave a short introduction to the world as it is, and where you begin, allowing the player to begin building an immersive character will some  

The Fallout 4 opening does none of this. It instead asserts that you, the player, has the backstory of being a male veteran of the war that results in the Apocalypse, taking leave incidentally before the bombs fall to spent time with his wife and newborn child.

I’d like to remind you this is supposed to be a Role Playing Game.

In only 5 minutes, the game has locked you out from your own character, telling you that this is not an RPG, this is a shooter with poor story hooks and a half baked plot. The game then moves on to the character creation, arbitrary, allowing you to set how you want your character to look, name them and set traits and-

Oh wait, that's right.

There are no traits. No skills either. Something that has remained at the very forefront of Fallout’s past lauded character creation. No, now everything is determined by basic points in each S.P.E.C.I.A.L Category, that is Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility and Luck. These set points determined how a character interacted with the world around them, but also imparted certain inborn traits such as higher speech skills, barter, gunmanship and so on. With Fallout 4, this is dumbed down to practical stupidity, and unfortunately renders the nuanced creation destroyed, something that has been a mainstay and in fact a reason the franchise became popular in the first place

But, I digress, while the world of Fallout 4 (and it’s interlinking stories tying into Fallout 3) is made well, saying it is a fallout game is practically unsubstantiated. It feels like a sham, a game made without the franchise’s core aspects, a skin thrown onto a generic game to appeal to nostalgic gamers. The storylines lack the genuine emotional value and investment players can input, and tells a story, rather than letting experienced players create their own, something that has been a major point to the success of previous titles. Fallout 1 and 2 had such fantastic writing that it seemed almost natural, plot movement wasn’t nearly as dependent on long exposition or explanation in game, it simply flowed because those working on it did not know whether it would sell well, all they knew was that they wanted to make a finely crafted game, regardless of units sold. Todd Howard, the head of development in those days, had essentially turned to his investors and said “Give me all this money to gamble on a game that we’ve been working on for months” and, to quote himself, “It just worked.” Namely, this is a wonderful example of the Zeitgeist of Bethesda in those times, during which quality games were produced and placed the developer into the forefront of video game development. While people cannot deny they have made some definitive games of a generation, a good example being Morrowind. Bethesda used to set the standard, be the one entrepreneurs would aspire to be, to work for, to succeed.  

Nowadays, Bethesda doesn't need investors, it has its own budget, it’s own productions, and as a result have found that if they continue to vaguely lie to their players, take out content and resell it, build up a hype train so wild they crash their own website on launch day, then  they can continue to beat that dead horse, so long as it keeps spitting out money.

[beccabug]

A Positive Review

I’ve seen a lot of people being really negative about Mass Effect:Andromeda and I gotta say, I am absolutely pleased with this game. After replaying ME1 through 3, I was expecting their to be thousands of glitches in the game on day one that would never be dealt with. I saw maybe 3 through the whole game and none of them negatively affected my play through. The scenery was more than i hoped for and really quite nice. The ability to use the omni tool to get information was awesome. Lip sync was weird but I just like to imagine that the characters are a foreign film with voice over and that solved that problem. I feel like compared to other open world games, like fallout 4, this game had a lot less bugs. And the best part Bioware has already fixed some of the issue 2 weeks after launch. And they are planning to make many more changes in the coming months. I enjoyed the game without these cosmetic changes and I’m really loving my new play through with the changes. But just looks aside, there are great story moments and great romantic moments too. Where  before you just chatted to your love interest and then got that bedroom scene, there are now sweet romantic scenes. It feels like your actually dating your love interest. Not just hit that one flirt option with Garrus so you can bump heads later. I played on normal and I felt that the combat was rewarding and exciting. It reminded me of mass effect one where I had to be careful that the enemy didn’t circle behind me, while I was concentrating with someone else. I love just being able to walk up to cover and be in it instead of pushing a button. The action was fast paced and I loved that. The fact we can now change the color of our casual outfits, I definitely want a few more of those. The fact that it went back to it’s mass effect 1 roots and gave us planet exploration was fantastic. Just the fact that we had so much freedom, which had been stripped away in me3 due to it’s story constraints was great. There are a lot of people angry about the inequality in the romance scenes, which is completely understandable, but bioware has already released a statement that they plan to fix a few of those and willing to listen to what we want changed. The humor in this game really made me feel like I was a Galaxy away from Shepard’s Story. The Trilogy was always a very “go, go, go!” story, we are rushing against time. I feel like I can stop and listen to a Angara and Asari talk about gender pronouns and not feel bad that a human colony may be currently being abducted some where. the few things I didn’t like seem to be getting taken care of by the developers so I really am quite pleased and look forward to the dlc that is to come.