#reminder of the dentist. yay!!!!!

[lizhortons]

Went to the dentist this week and I didn't even take any sedative for it. Gold star for me. Really proud of myself.

I know this sounds silly coming from an adult but I have a dental appointment tomorrow (Wednesday) and I an terrified of the dentist so if you are someone who prays please pray that tomorrow I can stay calm cuz my anxiety is going through the roof over this and I’m actually worried I might have an anxiety attack

[absolutebl]

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

This is the point where I remind you that GMMTV announced 16 BLs for 2024 and didn't actually release 4 of them in 2024: My Golden Blood, Ossan‘s Love, Sweet Tooth Good Dentist, and The Ex-Morning.

So despite the fact that these are from GMMTV 2025 line up, some of them will not happen until 2026, and some could get dropped entirely or have cast changes.

I'm not including the GLs, grab bags, or possible bromances. Confirmed full-tilt gay af only.

In order of ones I'm most excited about.

Dare You to Death

trailer

JoongDunk as police investigators in a mystery suspense thriller. Yes, I'm in. This is it. This it the one I wanted to instantly watch. Even though their's 20 BLs airing right now.

This is the only trailer I immediately rewatched.

Boys in Love

trailer

Our only true high school BL from GMMTV and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. It's milk teeth Make it Right and that is perfectly fine with me! I like lotte milk. Also DIMPLES! Yay! I suspect they're using this one to test some new pairs for future seasons. Like a Project 101 Thai BL. (Honestly I just invented an amazing reality TV for you GMMTV, you're welcome.)

Like My School President was in 2023, this could be a major 2025 sleeper hit for me.

Memoir of Rati

trailer

Sing the praise song with me BLabies! GreatInn in a HISTORICAL with a class divide and everyone's favourite side couple! Be still my heart! I'm beyond pleased. (Also I got my boat in a lotus pond at last.) My only concern is this could end sad, it's in the title after all.

This is the only trailer that gave me chills.

My Magic Prophecy

trailer

Paranormal mystery with a fortune teller and a doctor. I'm in. I hope the script doesn't fail JimmySea again, they are such a great pair. I'm intrigued by this one but it felt the most formless of all the trailers, so I'm thinking we could see some significant tweaks.

Me and Thee

trailer

A photographer gets involved with the mafia? OMG is this a Thai dupe for Target the Finder? Only mixed with Cyrano? WILD. I mean to say, this one is wild WILD! Plus Est (my love) back in suits and ear dongles I see. Also GMMTV never gonna let us forget they bagged two of BL's best bods with PP, thanks all for the visuals.

Of course this is for me. I'm the shallowest, remember? Plus I love a BL that's just a little bit...... well...... stupid.

A Dog and A Plane

trailer

A prissy gay flight attendant in a push-pull relationship with an EMT dude-bro. Characters are a bit throwback to PeteKao (no bad thing) not to mention the looming shadow of What the Duck? (bad thing). But the side couple is the always appealing MarcPoon.

Okay GMMTV, surprise me, I'm game. And you know TayNew are my OG GMMTV pair du jour.

Cat for Cash

trailer

Finally something fluffy with a pair I like. Looks cute. I like cute. Yay for me! Adorable gay boys and cats.

This one is basically made to be a tumblr comfort meme meets thirst trap. I see what you're doing GMMTV and I applaud you. Carry on.

That Summer

trailer

The only side pair to seriously level up. Okay so amnesia is my least favourite trope, and I tend to not be wild about secret identity either, but I like both pairs in this one, so I'll watch.

My Romance Scammer

trailer

New couple! My boys Ohm and Fluke (no, not that Fluke, the one from My Ride). Honestly, Fluke has popped up as a side in a couple GMMTV shows I was wondering who they'd BL him with.

This could win. Prettiest human on earth paired with the world's most potent single dimple. Will I survive? I honestly don't know, because Ohm historically doesn't have much chemistry with anyone but the original Fluke so... Still I l do love JuniorMark and this as a really unique premise (gay Heartbreakers), so I'm game.

Head 2 Head

trailer

The Boo kids are back. I don't love this pair (I find their chemistry and acting awkward) or the main trope (E2L) but I do like the new sides and their trope (2nd chance is a fav of mine). So this one will depend on whether those are full side dishes or just crumbs.

Ticket To Heaven

trailer

GMMTV is doing Boy Foretold by Stars concept? Interesting, did not have religious boundary pushing and bildungsroman down on he Thai BL bingo card.

This isn't my thing but I think G4 are actually going to be amazing in it and I certainly look forward to them pushing their acting chops. Not to mention the discomfort something like this can cause in general/global viewership. I like it when BL makes people (who aren't me) uncomfortable.

Burnout Syndrome

trailer

GMMTV doing edgy is never a good thing IMHO, and in this one they're handling sex work. *shakes head* However, Not Me is the noted exception and this is that same pair with the same director. So I'm curious if not wild about the content.

That said, I'm delighted to see Gun with someone else (Dew is a stunning choice, thank you Casting) even if only for a love triangle moment. It's been a WHILE.

Melody of Secrets

trailer

Not wild about ForceBook, do like a mystery, don't like horror or psychological thrillers... not sure on this one.

I like BL pushing into new territory, even if it's not my territory, but this is defiantly not made for me, that's for damn sure.

And that's the end of my list.

"But wait," you cry. "P'ABL you're still missing some."

How Dare

Only Friends Dream On

trailer

Yeah, no fuckoff. I will not be watching this. I already marked it pink on the Spreadsheet of Doom. (Pink means CNF or an automatic no watch for me.)

But dude was it nice to see all those pairs busted. That's always a good time for me. Anyway, all you so-n-sos who gave the first one your eyeballs are to blame for this. Watch it n weep. Without me.

(Side note: I love it when a title reviews itself, Only Friends: Dream On, indeed. It's like media aptronym.)

and last and definately least......

Love You Teacher

trailer

no

no no

NO NO

NO!!!

I do like Perth & Santa (although I'm not sold on them as a pair). But words cannot describe how much I dislike this premise. SERIOUSLY? No thank you very much. I could, just maybe, hate watch Only Friends 2, but it's gonna be hard for me to even turn this on. Infantilization and people acting like children wigs me tf out. YKINMKBYKIOK of course, but not in my BL GMMTV. Stop it! (This one also got the dreaded pink of will not watch.)

More Disappointments

Thor didn't get the lead in anything. (Pouts in "but he so sexy.")

No major pairs were significantly busted.

Tonally it's gone darker than I expected. I prefer lighter fluffier BL so this tonal shift for GMMTV as a whole is not a win for me personally. Should be left to Japan IMHO.

That said, most of my favorite GMMTV pairs are in my top picks to watch as well, so I'm happy for that.

I'm Intrigued Despite Myself

My favorite trailer of all was actually Wu (red thread fated paranormals are my favoritest thing ever next to isekai) but that's not a branded pair so I'm not convinced it's BL. Hoping it is, but that happened in 2024 with these boys, so I'll leave it in the air for now.

I like that we're making push to leave uni and high school behind (don't worry, other Thai studios will fill the gap). I think GMMTV is doing this in order to

keep branded pairs together and

keep the actors of those pairs interested in the BL scripts.

As their major pairs age out of uni, GMMTV has to hand them more meaty and grown up stuff. I didn't think they would actually do this, so I'm pleased to see it happen. Even if it's all going darker than I like, at least it's different.

I don't really report on GL and I rarely have time to watch it these days. I thought the new MilkLove looked cute, but I'm still recovering from whatever happen in their last one. The Girl's Rules one looks like a light-weight L-Word. Still happy to see GMMTV move out of school for thier few GLs too.

(source)

[tinylilacbun]

I just had a thought for your new series.

Everyone in the obx kinda knows how Luke is but noone says anything. Maybe JJ shows up to babysit and he had a bruise/black eye or cut basically an obvious injury and toddler readers parents recognise what it's from and invite him to spend a few nights in their guest room under the guise of babysitting because they know he won't accept help

Feel free to completely ignore this, I literally just woke up and had the thought so I thought I'd share- :3

-a very shy mutual lol 😅

Omg hi my sweet moot!! Hope you like this :3

You're sitting on the living room sofa, wriggling your feet as you watch Bluey on the tv while eating your snack, occasionally seeing your parents pass by.

They're getting ready for their date and instead of whining and crying for them to stay you're giddy with excitement and can't wait for JJ finally to arrive.

You gasp when you hear the doorbell ring, jumping off the couch to run towards the front door barely reaching the handle you open it quickly, squealing at the sight of JJ.

JJ chuckles, your adorable face distracting him from the throbbing pain from the lingering bruises and cuts on his face that you luckily haven't noticed yet as you hug his legs.

"Oh, JJ, honey good you're here. We're almost ready to go. She already had dinner but still needs her bath before going to sleep." Your mother tells him as she puts on her coat while your father puts on his shoes.

"No problem, we'll manage this, huh?" He grins down at you.

She turns to face him, her smile fading at the state the teenager is in. Obviously your parents know about his father and the probably bad environment JJ is living in, your mother's heart aching at the sight before him.

JJ has a forming bruise on his cheek and cuts on his eyebrow and his bottom lip, but still smiling down at the little princess that's clinging to his legs. Your parents share a look, already figuring what must have happened.

"Hey, buddy, um we really got a lot on our plate the next few days and wanted to ask if you would maybe sleep here in our guest room for the rest of the week? It would really take some pressure from our shoulders knowing our baby is taken care of." Your father asks him, grabbing the car keys from their designed bowl.

"Uh, yea...sure." He says, not noticing the true intent of the request but agrees nonetheless, he could never say no to spending time with you. "You heard that, cupcake? We're gonna have a sleepover."

"Yay! C'mon Jay! I gots to show you m'new critter family!" You squeak, pulling at his hand to drag him to your room.

As soon as you both disappear from their sight your mother sighs. "I'm worried about him."

Your father nods, grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it. "Me too. But we can't do much since he won't accept it. I'm glad he agreed to stay, tho. Now, come on, let's give him some time to relax here."

You're happily showing him your new calico critter set that you got after your dentist appointment. Introducing each critter to him, you both sitting on the fluffy carpet of your room.

"And dis S'Jay 'cause he reminds me of you!" You smile, handing him the tiny figure, looking up at his face for his reaction you furrow your brows in confusion.

Without thinking you reach up to touch his cheek and JJ winces, gently taking your wrist and pulling it away from his face. "Don't touch it please, um...it-"

"Hurts? You got boo-boos?" You ask curiously and he nods, a small smile on his face at your innocent question.

"Yeah, but it's fine." He says, watching how you rush out of your room.

He gets up from the ground and follows after you, seeing you just as you're about to enter the bathroom and as he's about to enter you rush back out and bump into his legs, JJ grabbing your shoulders to keep you steady with a chuckle. "Careful there. Watcha got there?"

You motion for him to come closer and he leans down, not expecting you to suddenly place a bandaid on his cheek, grabbing another one from the colorful package that you place over the cut on his eyebrow.

JJ's face softens at the action, picking you up when it seems you were done with nursing his wounds. "Thank you..."

You smile at him brightly, leaning closer to press a kiss on each bandaid. "Kisses make me feels better."

His heart almost explodes at your cute gesture, letting you tuck your face in his neck as you wrap your arms around it he could feel a single tear slip down his cheek, grateful for having someone who doesn't question him or tells him that he should get help and do something about his dad.

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu @mylettterstoyou @sunf1ower16

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @flora-eva

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Hazbin Hotel as Owl City Tweets

So if you don't know, Owl City is the music artist behind the songs Fireflies and Good Time feat. Carly Rae Jepsen. Aside from just his music, however, he is my favorite account on Twitter, along with the only reason I still have the app on my phone. He's made some iconic posts over the years that I think deserve to be seen by more of the general public. Here's to hoping this idea goes well, because I think the idea of assigning quotes from a devout Christian who refuses to swear in his music to characters from the Hell show that kill each other and swear once every five seconds, is gonna be a fantastic combination

Charlie: Happy Mother's Day to my mom who's always been just like a mother to me OR Just heard my first robin of the year singing. Actually the robin was scolding me cuz it was annoyed that I was walking under the tree it was sitting in but still

Vaggie: I socialize by seeing someone I don't wanna talk to in the store and then leaving.

Angel Dust: Roses are red, Violets are blue, To all my haters, I'm 2fab4u OR If I had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly I'd be broke cuz I'm perfect lol later haters

Alastor: Most people don't realize this, but you can go to Starbucks without instagramming it OR If you say 'swag', 'yolo', or 'cray' one more time, I'm going to punch you in the throat :) OR I once killed a man for a klondike bar OR Oh look it's 3:30 AM, I should go to the kitchen and make a 10 course meal.

Sir Pentious: Dang girl is your name pizza roll because I love pizza rolls OR I flirt by seeing an attractive person and not talking to them.

Niffty: Mom said I could join your gang.

Husk: Do you ever just wake up and go "nope" and roll over and go back to sleep

Vox: It's 4AM so it makes sense that I'm on the wikipedia page for eggplant OR 7 divided by 8 is 0.875 in case you find this fact very interesting

Valentino: I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious OR Brush your teeth unless your dentist is a cutie.

Velvette: "They're like, 12" = everyone younger than you OR Roses are red, My battery died, My laptop is dead, RT if your cried

Lucifer: Things I'm bad at: 1) Getting out of bed 2) Talking 3) Being a person OR went outside. immediately went back inside. crazy day. OR *phone vibrates* Yay I got a text I'm not an actual pathetic loser *reminder to refill depression meds*

Adam: I just drank 3 capri suns... get on my level OR Hello 911, there's a handsome guy in my house. Cancel that, it's me.

I went into this thinking 'hey a lot of these are gonna fit Lucifer probably' but no. Why did so many of them fit Alastor-

Read the tags

[celestial-sapphicss]

nobody asked but I'm finally watching the gmmtv 2024 part 2 trailers and hence some incoherent thoughts

ossan's love thailand: KAPOOK 😍. I haven't seen the original ossan's love but this seems like an HR Violation. how come two people like this lousy person???????? what is this show LMAO it seems so unhinged (not in a good way yet?) but i have my trust in Au!!!!!!!

leap day: WHAT THE FUCK OMG. GUN HELLO

the heart killers: joong khao brothers HM. now this show is hidden agenda pls. there is going to be so much angst here im still so hurt from only friends but another jojo project, interesting 👀

friendshit forever: someone needs to be fired for these names. MOOK LOOKS SO PRETTY. ngl i thought this was a GL until new showed up but boy did the trailer take a dark turn. listen im all for this betrayal angst but isn't it a little cliche to have girls fight/backstab because they're jealous of each other? maybe i misunderstood the trailer hm.

perfect 10liners: how are forcebook back in uni again???? but enemies(?) to lovers???? perthchimon roommates HAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH. oh i loved MarkJunior in cherry magic!!!? how much is jittirain making i just want to know. seems very cliche but i eat it up every time. also new siwaj!!!!!!!

us: GL GL GL GL BRAIN GOES BRRRRRRR. pining delicious 🤌 angst delicious 🤌 cinematography reminds me of an indie production somehow. 2 FON KANITTHA GLs YEAH GIVE THIS SHOW TO ME RIGHT NOW!

hide & sis: PIPLOY & JAN & GAWIN. FUCK YES. this is giving the player vibes and i dig that. gotta love fucked up rich people. who is directing this though?

thame - po: is this the lykn dance group? PLEASE NOT THE Y/N FANFIC. cute

breakup service: GODJIIIIIIIIIII. it's giving midnight motel vibes. but hmmmmmmmmm

revamp: im not really a wabi-sabi or vampire girly but im always here of villian kay!!!!! & santa my beloved 🫶 the vibes are immaculate.

sweet tooth, good dentist: who is deciding these names????? but also MARK & OHM YAY. the fanfiction of it all smh. jittirain strikes again. not mark singing the last twilight ost pls. this doc is So invested in this patient im sure he follows his lives. FLIRTY MARK MY BELOVED!! ALSO VIEW & JIMMY HELP. if this isn't sappy as fuck what's the point. also the Pepzi, the AD for bad buddy is directing this, nice 👀

the dark dice: love the annual supernatural weird-high school gmmtv shenanigans. 'loser like me' and its Gemini, be for real pls. PRIMMMMMMMMM. I don't really understand what's happening with the plot smh but it's a LOT

the ex-morning: exs to lovers and a hell lot of pining and angst? yes. i didn't get firstmix but I'm happy with this. also the meta commentary also GODJIIIIIIIIIII.

scarlet heart: THE CAST ?????? TU, TAY, NANON, PERTH, FOURTH???????? I'm here for it. i haven't seen the Chinese or the Korean version but the teaser sure is interesting AND FON KANITTHA

14 shows DAMN GMMTV

[unfilteredrealities]

Today was a better day.

Besides of my uterus for a moment there pinching me and giving me a quick sharp pain for a second which was weird tbh

I managed to eat breakfast which yay!

Pain is a 1 1/2 today 🥳 I had so much energy still when I came back after 8h work that I was still able to do some indoor cycling for 11 min and I did good bcs I had more aerobic and anaerobic training than light or intense which makes me proud. Plus this is a healthy way to get my heart pumping without having it pumping due to anxiety.

Tomorrow is dentist time after work 😩💔🫣 I’m not excited for that at all but I know it’s needed to keep my teeth healthy. I’m glad I have a lovely Dentist she’s so nice and comforting. Plus she gives me lots of local anaesthetics so I can cope better.

Currently life is nice even if each day is another chronically ill hectic day but it’s a good reminder that it’s always a new day and I can see what I can do and I have several chances in hopes the next day is better than the last day.

You are loved , you matter, you are valid!

[prince-of-red-lions]

hey guys this is your reminder to TAKE CARE OF YOUR MOUTH AND TEETH‼️‼️‼️‼️

your teeth are so incredibly important! no one wants dentures! please remember to brush your teeth twice a day as well as floss, scrape ur tongue, and fluoride!!

if you are brushing ur teeth twice a day, YAY! :D but it’s not enough! flossing is very much needed, cavities can still form if you don’t floss. fluoride helps strengthen ur teeth so they can be big boys and prevent tooth decay and further problems! i cannot stress this enough, TAKE CARE OF THEM‼️‼️‼️

not only does all of this help your teeth to be sturdy and healthy, it most certainly helps with bad breath! just brushing your teeth only helps so much, and most the time it doesn’t work, especially if you haven’t been very good with it. flossing gets all the gunk and plaque off your pearly whites that are makin’ things smell! this is also where scraping your tongue comes in. bacteria lives on your tongue too! no one wants it! so make sure to get a tongue scraper, im sure your dentist has some so don’t be afraid to ask! scraping your tongue can help immensely with bad breath, especially if you floss, brush and fluoride along with it!

REMEMBER‼️‼️

you must do ALL of these if you want to ensure a healthy mouth! you can’t just scrape and brush, or brush and fluoride, etc. all steps are incredibly important! GUYS‼️‼️ CAVITIES AND CROWNS ARE NOT FUN‼️‼️ THEY ARE EXPENSIVE‼️‼️ and to add on top of all that, you feel great afterwards! I��m always happier and feel much cleaner after taking care of my teeth, and you will too! who doesn’t like knowing their breath is fresh and their mouth is healthy?

i know it can be hard, especially when your trying to form the habit. i struggled myself for a long time, only recently really coming down on my teeth hygiene. but it’s so worth it!! just try your best and DON’T take breaks for a night! that is what kills the habit. just imagine how nice and clean your teeth will look without all that gunk in between them!!

if you don’t believe me, my dad is a dentist and runs his own practice. I’ve learned from the very best! he works with patients who have cavities left and right, he’s worked with smokers, etc. if you guys have any questions, go ahead and ask, I’d be happy to get an answer from my dad for you! :D

[riddle-me-ri]

friendly reminder that u r awesome and I'm the anon with artist S/O request lmao, thank u sooo much, this made my day ;w;♡♡♡

Please, feel better soon, wisdom tooth is easy to remove actually, just make sure ur fine with numb cheek for a few hours and chill ^^ (replying isn't needed rly, just wanted to thank u)

Awww yay!! I'm so glad to hear back from anons when they requested something! I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed it! It was such a sweet idea I hope I did it justice! I'm ecstatic to hear it made your day!

Yeah, the dentist appointment was overwhelming to say the least but I've got a referral in to a couple oral surgeons because it does need to be pulled along with another wisdom tooth. I'm sure it'll be all right my anxious mind is just overreacting especially since like...its my first surgery ever lol.

But thank you, thank you, so much for your kind words! They meant a lot especially cause I've been going through quite a bit on top of the dentist stuff lmao

[youraveragecollegestudent]

Time Management as a Busy College Student

Hey everybody, I figured this week, I could give you guys a couple of tips on time management since I can't think of anything else to blog about this week (oh yes, writer's block is already settling in on the literal second week of the semester... yay). With my six classes, my job off-campus, and my magazine internship, I'm also a part of two honor societies on campus, a dancer and leadership member on the George Fox Dance Team, and have my partner in Vancouver, Washington who I visit as much as I can.

So, how do I organize my time? I have a few ways, which I will list below. And, hopefully, this will inspire you to change yours or give you a few new ones to add to your repertoire.

1) Have a place to keep all of your events and happenings together.

Get a Google Calendar, a planner, something, and start putting your life happenings in there. Dentist appointments, classes, any event or appointment you need to remember, jot it down in your apparatus of choice. If you use Google Calendar, you can set reminders for these events for up to weeks in advance so you can remind yourself as in advance (and as many times) as you wish. Google Calendar also lets your color code your events, so you can always tell what category your events are in.

2) If you have extra time, do homework!

Most of my "free time" is booked up with something, typically with a drive to Vancouver or time with my family in my hometown. But, if that time is not filled by those things, a meeting, or another commitment I've agreed to well in advance (not last-minute), I am usually doing homework for later in the week. This technique gives me a chance to get ahead, while also freeing up time later in the week for me to get other things done, like my internship work.

These are just a couple of things I do, but if you want to have a more complete list, I recommend this one.

Have a great week everyone! :)

[malinosh]

Weary Traveler

Note: This may seem a bit scattered and sporadic. I’m trying to organize my thoughts.

Just when I think I can’t become closer to God, I gave birth to my son. I am a dentist and understand the science, but it is simply unbelievable that a healthy, tiny, perfect human came from my body. And I am so grateful that I can sustain his life until he is able to begin eating foods. I thank God every day for my husband and son. Motherhood is truly a miraculous and beautiful journey, no matter how she gave birth or how baby is eating. That’s not to say I’m not tired, though.

We are recent practice owners as of Apr 2022, my father was diagnosed with ALS Nov 2022, and I gave birth Mar 2023, on top of trying to be there for my family and multiple friends with family issues or hard times of their own. Being a new and good mom, wife, daughter, sister, business owner, friend - whew, I’m doing it (I think), but it is exhausting. I may wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I don’t voice my emotions all that often because I try to be the strong one and I don’t want others feeling bad for me. But here I am, pen to paper so-to-speak, organizing my thoughts and getting out my feelings. Tired is a bit of an understatement.

I have witnessed ALS turn our family upside down and inside out. This is a devastating disease. I may not have the diagnosis, but it still affects us as well. Originally, I was pregnant when we found out my dad’s diagnosis. I won’t forget exactly where I was and what I was doing when my mom called and explained the terrible news. After thinking on it, I asked first thing if it was genetic and if my unborn child had a chance of getting it also. It is a sporadic type, so thankfully the answer is no. Then, there is the constant reminder of my family’s situation as every other patient I see asks how my Dad is doing out of love and kindness. Some know, others had not yet heard. I cannot be breaking down every time I answer, and this is where I believe dissociation has come into play for me.

I heard this song on the radio as I pulled into our garage at home - which the door broke this morning (yay, another thing). I placed the car in park, sang along, and just found it so appropriate. Many friends and family of mine have leaned on this song in recent years, and for the first time today it has touched me, too. As a side note, we sang this song in church in the past ~year, and I miss it dearly and look forward to getting back on stage with the crew.

As I was nearing the end of pregnancy, I was concerned I would end up with postpartum depression with all these other factors going on in my life. I kept a close eye on things and did not end up getting diagnosed with postpartum depression or anxiety, although my midwife recommended I see a postpartum therapist to help with the flood of emotions. I know about all the feels and emotions after birth, but it was incredibly intense and I did not expect it to that degree. I would look at my son’s face and just cry from awe and hope for his future.

My personality is a people pleaser. Unfortunately, I will never learn my lesson and this is maybe a toxic trait, but I always try to make everyone else happy. At times, I’ve felt like an empath but not to the extent of which I’ve read. My therapist had mentioned these are close cousins, which makes sense to me. But as I listened and sang, it made me think - of all the negative people we deal with in a service industry right now, most often there are other things going on in their lives which we are unaware and then we are the cherry on top. I’m not saying rudeness is ever acceptable behavior, but that maybe outbursts are not typically directed at us and we just unfortunately happen to be more bad news and in the line of fire.

As I look in my son’s eyes (he should be napping, but is wide awake and staring at me), I think, can I be better? I’m trying to eat healthy for both of us, exercise, and am still tracking everything. But mentally? Is this affecting him without me realizing it? Every night I pray over him while he is cuddled up on my shoulder before bed. I will keep giving my all and raising him to be a good man to the best of my ability. A favorite guided meditation I’ve done reminds us that stress is not what is happening in the world, but our reactions to those happenings. This song reminds me once again of others as well. Whatever you may have going on in life, just hold on. Weary traveler, you won’t be weary long. 💙

[cleetus42]

i got a letter in the post about my autism assessment from school. finally. alhamdulillah . things are happening. i layed on the prayer mat and listened to a 30 minute khutbah. i listened for the first 20 minutes and nearer the end i got tired so i just kinda zoned out. the words i were supposed to hear still stood out for me to hear though.

my mum told me that my dad is finishing work earlier so that he can drop me off to work :) yay. ate 2 slices of toast w bread n jam + watched a bit of coryxkenshin life is strange gameplay. i feel better than i did a few hours ago. alhamdulillah. turns out i have a dentist appointment tomorrow, not a gp one. my mum says that the letter the mental health nurses wrote needs to be delivered.

my throat is starting to burn. it always burns when i think about it. *it* . i feel so horrible even though ive repented countless times. i cant talk to him anymore though. its impossible. its fine. its fine. i mean. hes around all those horrible guys. those guys have probably done worse. i repented. that one thing i did. ive repented. im forgiven. i just dont know how ill be able to go to school after it. dont let shaytaan magnify it .

ya Allah, surely i trespass against myself when i sin. forgive me and relieve me from the guilt. let me not despair in your mercy, lift up my heart and remind me to always do good. ameen.

[singlecrochet]

wayyy tmi but I haven’t been to the dentist in well over a year (parents stopped being able to legally compel me as a minor and no fucking way would I make myself) and I was just thinking I should look into scheduling an appointment to make sure I don’t have cavities or whatever because Ive spent a lot of time recently fixated on being extremely anxious about that for no particular reason but I’m literally crying just thinking about going. this is great!

[mewpre]

I had to get dental implants done today and when my dentist finished she said “you were such a great patient! I could put implants in you all day!”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

Nov 2022 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 1 of 12 - It got hot and heavy way faster than expected. With DeanPharm the side couple, I just want more of them like I did with WinTeam in UWMA. But yeah, it’s VERY good, thank fuck. WATCH ALONG HERE. 

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 6 of 8 - How can this dumb little pulp be so good? Also P’Nine? I will heal your broken heart. The brother zone is rough, baby. The thing about this damn drama is all of the characters are honestly motivated and act in accordance with their personalities. I think that’s mostly why I can’t stop watching. Loved the scene with Yai and his ma-in-law-to-be. Also, nice stinger! That’s one way to come out. Look this was a REALLY engaging ep. 

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 14fin - I really did not expect this show to end on this note. Ah Earth with the crying. I did expect the final episode to be family drama-llama, but this kind of drama didn’t work for me under the context of a BL. I do love the siblings. (There’s a part of me that wanted Prem’s character to be Team. This could work as Team’s back story.) All in all? I found it disappointing. Conclusion: This is a strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still, RECOMMENDED. 8/10 

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 7 of 10 - Nothing continues to happen and exactly nothing will and yet I keep watching. Probably because the nothing keeps getting shirtless. 

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 6 of 8 - Cute bfs are cute but... NO SINGING. Adorbs but sad GL side plot AKA dead lesbians got a nod. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 5 of 12 - JaFirst are just great on screen together, I am very invested in their couple but, yeah, no one else. The stuff with Name was really difficult to watch, but Title is a GREAT little actor. 

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 13fin - Ultimately? Sky needed a therapist not a stalker lover, but whatever Mame. DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH COMPLETED HERE. I gave it a very reluctant 7/10, recommended only if you know you like this kind of thing. Look you remember in high school drama class where they make you “envision a basket, and put all of your worry, bad mood, and anxiety into that basket, and leave it outside the door”? Well, in order to enjoy this show, you have to do that, only with your morals. Some people have bigger baskets than others. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Viki) 6 of 12 - I do like a little jealousy from the dentist. Yet another installment in this week”s “please get that uke to a therapist” only this time (unlike LITA) our seme actually gives it an honest try. I might be completely and totally in love with the dentist. I adore how stern he gets, plus he has a very strong white knight tendencies. Also baby boi wanna-bartend with the big-ass crush is giving me life. 

Eternal Yesterday AKA Eien no Kino (Japan Thurs Gaga) 4 of 8 - Am I the only one who JUST realized the actor playing Koichi is Komiya Rio who played Tanaka in Takara & Amagi? I’m so slow. Look all Japanese BL (even the most fluffy nonsense like Kabe Koji) is a little bit emo and exists in a sideways state. It’s gonna go into uncomfortable and uncanny spaces. It’s what it does. This one, given its psychological horror elements, is even more uncanny, to the point of creepy. I’m not a big fan of creepy, and yet I like this show. Japanese zombie incubus? Yes please. Look, I’m utterly unable to back away from the pun, and so: I see seme stiffie can get a stiffie. Puns aside? This was a killer first-time sex scene for something relatively low heat. I’m reminded of Shin’s tongue. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, no one does thirst like Japan. Korea and Thailand can have a winsome yearn-off, and Taiwan is great a pining, but Japan? Japan brings the Thirst. 

Choco Milk Shake (Korea Strongberry Tues YT) 3-4 of 10 - I love this show so much. It made me tear up and then in the second part I was laughing my ass off, because the cat was trying to teach the dog how to stare properly. So funny. Then Pets being worried about their sick human, is so accurate. Is anything funnier than the idea of a cat in a service industry job? I really don’t want this to be sad. Please don’t be sad. In Strongberry we trust is my mantra!

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 6 of 10 - I like it more and more as it goes on, but I still don’t think I actually, ya know, like it. 

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y (Thai Gaga) 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate (Thai YT) 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Thai Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. DNF

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 28 eps - dito

2 Moons 3 (Thai Mon ??) 10 eps - Possibly a future binge watch. Rumor is it’s banal.

SELF (Thai Thurs YT) - DNF

Love Bill  (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising and stuff going on. I’ll wait and binge.

In Case You Missed It

Korean GL She Makes My Heart Flutter finished it’s run on YouTube. RECOMMENDED. Full review (not by me) here. Extremely cute, about a lesbian bar run by an aunt and her niece.  

I have no idea if any of these still work, but the spies reported in on ways to watch the Cherry Magic movie (2022) with Eng Subs: BiliBili | Website I liked it, not as much as the original, solid 8/10 from me. Again no kissing, these actors must be expensive. Still with Thailand bringing the high heat with such consummate casualness these days (licking ass and taking names) there really isn’t much of an excuse anymore for no kisses. Even Korea has buckled. 

Gossip

Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has collectively signed up to be in idol-based BL, Bump Up Business (based on a webtoon of the same name). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad and can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You). More info here. 

HIStory 5 is coming! Office BL + time travel. “A cheerful and energetic senior student from 2000 travels to the future (2022), works as a deliveryman, and meets his first customer, an heir with a domineering personality.” Nancy Chen to direct (HIStory 4, Papa & Daddy).

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting up: 

Nov 18: I Will Knock You (Thai Fri Gaga) A college kid & tutor confronts the leader of a gang who then turns out to be his next student. Bad boy/good boy + sunshine/grumpy, + younger seme pairing, bully romance. Adapted from korean_rabbit's y-novel of the same name, directed by Champ (2gether).

Nov 19: GAP the series (Thai Sat YT) - 12 ep office set GL. WATCH IT! GL and this studio need our support. 

Nov 2022 still to come?

Nov 24: Happy Ending Romance (Korea Thurs Gaga) stars Karam (The Boss), Ha Jong Woo, and Leo (VIXX). Formerly Happy Ending Outside the Fence - thank fuck they changed the damn title.  

Nov 26: 609 Bedtime Story (Thai Sat WeTV) - another OhmFluke vehicle that’s rumored to be a good story. A one night stand leads to a series of mysterious premonitions and a possible parallel universe.

Nov ??: My School President (?? GMMTV YT) tester trailer here - it’s Love Sick + Korea & Japan's influence.

This Week’s Return of the Shirt of Shame 

Work From Heart wasn’t enough? You had to put it on the prettiest boy in the world? (Ghost Host, Ghost House) 

This week’s best moments?

Oops indeed. 

This weeks earworm: MCND #mood

(last week)

Note: I’m off to France and then Australia, as ya do, so posting may be odd and sporadic and strangely timed. Don’t get excited, it’s work, I mostly get to see the insides of hotels. 

[alstroemeriadissonance]

NXX: Three Men and a Little Lily (Part 2 - Farewells, Waffles, and Starlight Hair)

Part 1 here

It was a very busy early morning in the Richter estate. The sun hasn't come out yet at four in the morning, and yet the usually quiet mansion was already brightly-lit and abuzz with activity.

Vyn's haphazardly prepared baggage cluttered the living room; some suitcases lay on their side, lids still thrown open in case there were some last-minute additions. Rosa fussed over them, stuffing her husband's articles of clothing, distributing the items amongst the luggage in some convoluted logic that Vyn will need to decipher later as soon as he gets to his destination.

In the meantime the master of the estate pored over a list of reminders with Artem, and showed the lawyer around the kitchen and pantry.

"This cupboard here," Vyn grunts as he stretched out to reach the uppermost cabinet right above the sink; just out of reach for everyone in the household except him, "contains the things that darling Lily covets."

Artem looked up and peered at the various grocery items stocked in that particular cupboard, and understood why they were placed there: inside were bottles of chocolate syrup, various fruit syrup both natural and artificial, different kinds of candies, tinned biscuits, and animal crackers. Among other things that would give a dentist aneurysm.

"Right." Artem takes a quick snapshot of the open cupboard, one of the many pictures that he has taken so he could go over them later and make an inventory of which items were stored where.

"You promised Lily waffles; you would find her desired toppings here, most probably." Vyn sighed. "Just do not overdo it, please. She tends to have poor appetite during lunch if she's had her fill of sweet things in the morning."

Artem raised an eyebrow. "How about as a dessert, after lunch?"

"It would be better, but you may find that Lily is a bit vocal about having waffles for breakfast," Vyn muttered as he moved on to another cupboard, orienting Artem with its contents...

They're right. Vyn is whipped, mused Artem, but as always, he kept that particular observation to himself.

The rest of the early morning flew by; but Vyn had managed to hand over and orient Artem with most of the things required to care for little Lily. Artem, for his part, had asked both parents the usually overlooked yet equally important questions--did Lily need assistance with potty (a little); did Lily need help with bathing (yes); and other similar queries.

The sun rose at six in the morning with Artem having gained more respect in the eyes of both Vyn and Rosa; the lawyer proved to be immensely dependable and turned out to have considerable experience with child care through his own extended family.

Eventually it was finally time for Vyn to depart.

Lily was allowed to see her Daddy off; and so Vyn gathered his darling girl from her bed--the girl bleary-eyed with sleep--and carried her all the way to the main gate where a limousine bearing the Svart embassy's flag waited for him.

"Daddy," mumbled Lily as she rubbed her eyes. "Come back soon, okay?"

"Ssh, don't rub your eyes, my little darling," Vyn whispered affectionately as he cradled her to his chest with one arm and his other hand gently prising off her fist away from her eyes. "And yes, I will be back soon."

"Yay. Is it time to make a wish?" Lily asked sleepily as she reached out to her father's hair, tugging on his silver locks. "Wish on our silver starlight hair."

Vyn gave his daughter an affectionate smile. "Yes. Of course. What do you wish on my starlight hair?"

"Chocolate."

The father lovingly mussed Lily's hair. "And chocolate you shall have when I get back." He planted a kiss on her forehead. "My turn," he said as his slender fingers smoothed out a lock from Lily's head. "I wish..."

Artem, who was within earshot, asked Rosa about the strange little ritual between father and daughter. "Wishing on their hair?"

"Lily noticed that she and Vyn were the only ones around who had silver hair," said Rosa. "She then came up with a story about her and her father coming from the night sky, that their hair was made out of stars. And that like people do with stars, they could wish on their starlight hair."

"That's...sweet," Artem said. "Though I will go ahead and be that guy... How would Lily react once she gets to visit Svart? Silver hair is quite common there, I heard."

"I've had my own questions myself, since it raises questions like 'what about people who were not lucky enough to be born with silver hair?'" Rosa smiled. "But Vyn said it would not be a good idea to stamp out children's imaginations with reality. Something about letting them understand things in time."

"...yay! I hereby decree, that Daddy and Mummy will be back safe and sound," Lily giggled in Vyn's embrace, before planting a peck on his lips.

"I guess. I mean, I can't tell Lily Santa's not real." Artem said. "It's senseless and brutal."

"Mhm. She knows, though," Rosa said wryly. "For Lily, her Daddy is a more mythical beast than Santa Claus is. She practically worships his footsteps--you'd find out soon for yourself I guess. She is quite the storyteller."

"Huh."

Vyn then gently put down Lily and beckoned for Rosa. "Love, it's time..."

"Uncle Artem," Lily said as she padded towards the lawyer, tugging on his pants leg. "Um..." She looked up at him with her big gold eyes, but not able to verbalize what it is she actually wanted

Artem took a guess, and lifted Lily into his arms. "Want a carry?" he asked.

Lily only shyly put her arms around him and hid her face in the crook of his neck. "Mm," was the only sound she made.

Artem only looked on as husband and wife shared a wistful, lingering kiss; the pang in his own heart came dull yet palpable--but it was a feeling that he was already used to, and came to accept, in time. One never quite could forget their first love, in a way, but only to accept, let go, and move on...somehow.

And yet...due to circumstances, he wasn't even allowed to fully move on. All the players of the previous board were still in play around him, and nothing changed, except for the fact that he could never win the one prize he so fervently wished for. There wasn't even a hope. That was now a universal truth that could never be refuted.

The one proof of which, is currently hanging onto him.

He bounced Lily in his arms, once. "Hup."

Lily yelped, and looked at him. There were tears in her eyes.

I knew it. Artem gave her a little smile. "Go wave to your Daddy," he whispered. "He's about to go."

"I don't want him to see I cried," Lily said glumly.

"Why?"

"It makes him sad."

Artem gently nudged her anyway.

Vyn pulled away from his wife, and gave Artem a nod before he made his way to the waiting limousine.

"Come on. Give your Daddy a wave," Artem said to Lily, once again.

Reluctantly Lily twisted in his arms, then waved at Vyn, who was visibly surprised at the gesture, only to smile back and wave.

She always did hide whenever he is about to leave, huh...

It is when the limousine finally pulled out of the curb and made its way into the main road did Lily reach out for her mother and sob, hard.

"There, there," Rosa cooed as she carried an inconsolable Lily. "There's a good, brave girl."

Artem turned away and went back inside the mansion, letting the mother and child have their moment in peace. Time to get ready for waffles.

===

"You sure you'd be alright, Artem?" Rosa asked as he helped her with loading the baggage into the taxi's trunk. "I mean, Lily could be a handful sometimes."

"Sort of too late to be asking me that now, isn't it?" he said. He turned to Lily, who quietly waited on the steps leading to the front door of her home. "Lily, your mum's leaving."

"Mommy," Lily cried as she ran up the pavement towards Rosa. "Come home soon." The little girl hugged Rosa's legs. "I'll behave. I promise." She offered her braid to Rosa. "Wish?"

Rosa let out a soft chuckle as she gently caressed the short braid hanging above Lily's nape. "I wish you, me, and Daddy will have some tea again in the garden. With waffles." She smiled fondly at her daughter. "How's that, little star?"

"I decree that we shall have tea and waffles in the garden when you and Daddy come back." Lily tightened her hug, and looked up at Rosa with watery gold eyes. "Come back soon. I'll miss you and Daddy."

Rosa bent over to plant a kiss on Lily's silver head. "Be good now. Your three uncles will take care of you, okay? Don't make too much trouble for them."

"Uhuh. I will. They get free wishes." Lily said as she fiddled with her braid.

Rosa then gave Artem a quick hug. "Thanks. I really appreciate you and the guys coming through for us. This is really nerve-wracking, believe me. Vyn couldn't even sleep, and that's saying a lot."

Artem returned the hug and gave Rosa a pat on the back before pulling away. "Yeah. I can imagine. Luke just found something--we'll all discuss about it in the NXX chat. But for now just get to where you need to go. And be safe."

"Mhm. Thanks again."

===

Artem took the liberty of serving Lily her breakfast in the garden gazebo.

It was Vyn's and Rosa's sacred space, but seeing that Lily missed her parents and that the knowledge that they could be away for more than a week--a first for their poor little girl--may be overwhelming for her, the lawyer figured letting Lily have her favorite treat in her parent's space may help ease her pining, somewhat.

"Here. Waffles with all sweet things on it," Artem said as he placed a plate of three waffles in front of Lily: all three waffles were carefully cut into kiddie bite-sized pieces, drizzled with chocolate, strawberry sauces; piled high with slices of strawberry, banana, and a few gummi bears on top.

"It's probably not as good as your Dad's but I tried my best. Hope you like it."

Lily quietly stared at the pile of waffles, then at Artem, then at the waffles again.

"Well?" Artem couldn't help but feel apprehensive at being judged by Vyn's daughter. A tiny little Adjudicator. His lips curled into a twisted smile.

"Uncle Artem," Lily said quietly as she took her little plastic fork into her fist and fed herself a piece of waffle dripping with chocolate and strawberry.

"Hmm? And, don't talk when your mouth is full," Artem said as he pulled out a chair opposite hers and tucked into his own breakfast: pancakes and bacon. "Chew first and swallow before you speak."

"Mmph," Lily swallowed her waffles and, with her mouth smeared with chocolate and strawberry, said "Uncle Artem, you are my new favorite uncle." She shoveled another chocolate-and-strawberry syrup drenched waffle bite into her small mouth. "I love you," she said after swallowing once more, then piercing yet another piece with her little fork.

Artem chuckled as he drank his orange juice. "I'm glad, Lily, but wipe your mouth first? Here, let me help you..."

Luke: Got a ping.

Vyn: I knew there is something off. What is it?

Luke: Not too sure yet but Vyn, be careful. Whoever it is, the trails lead to somewhere in Europe. Won't be surprised if its Svart.

Vyn: Ah. I figured as much. Thank you for confirming.

Luke: I'll try to get more specifics. Will send them your way as soon as I get em. Artem, be careful too. I wouldn't put it past them to do kidnapping if they want something from Vyn.

Artem: I'm armed. Though I would appreciate it if you and Marius would stay here in the estate too.

Vyn: I have prepared all of the guest rooms for your use. It would make me feel more at ease if all of you three stay with Lily at all times, if possible.

Marius: I may need to go on meetings but I'll stay there as much as I can.

Artem: Beef stir-fry and dumplings for tonight.

Marius: Hell yeah I'll cancel tonight's meeting. Gonna chow down there.

Luke: lol

Artem: Not spicy though. We have a kid eating with us.

Rosa: Why do I feel sleepover vibes?

Luke: I'm going there with my stuff. And games. Operation Waffles is a go!

Vyn: Please do not trash the house.

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

Period came yesterday. 28 day cycle, which is what I expected. No cramping and that is a huge win.

Feeling down this weekend. The negative test was disappointing, but not life ending. I was up for hours again last night with intense suicidal thoughts. Playing it out in my head. Not great, especially after I have been feeling a bit better the last 2 weeks. Hopefully acupuncture today helps with that.

Therapy tonight. I have no idea what to say.

I ordered some clothes for vacation from a friend's thrifting business and they are so cute. Feeling a lot of body dismorphia at the moment so I will pass on posting them.

Reminding myself my body is fine the way it is. I don't need to lose the bit of weight I gained.

Dentist appt tomorrow for fillings. Yay 🙃

Ordered my next round of letrozole and need to find a time to go pick that up.

Life is...wild.