#remind me to never make something like this again bc RIP MY HAND

[personinthepalace]

My Lady Jane - World’s Smallest Violin (AJR)

for @incendiaglacies - Happy Birthday!

[justlillythinking]

idk where to put requests bc i barely ask for stuff on here but basically my idea was this. neteyam x human reader that is hella funny. friends to lovers type thing where he feels his responsibilities and stress slip away when hes with them. kiss kiss love confession type thing. gn or fem would be cool mookie

neteyam x human!reader imagine

1.7k words

warnings- sfw, mutual pinning, soft fluff, a little angst ? love confessions

also while writing this it was inspired by in love with you by erykah badu and boogie nights/all night by erykah badu

hanging out with the sullys is always interesting, from going on ikran rides to sneaking on missions. when lo'ak says that you should all go on a ride right before eclipse, neteyam is fast to object.

"come on bro, you know dad is going to slaughter us if we are out at eclipse, lets just go tomorrow."

spider huffs before jumping on lo'aks ikran. god, my brother is such an ass, sometimes i just want to slap him so hard he can't feel his face for a week. i give neteyam a look, us both understanding that the only way to keep our stupid brothers in line is to follow them and keep them safe. he helps me up onto his ikran and we take off after spider and lo'ak, soaring in the calm sunset.

after flying for 10 minutes, spider and lo'ak land somewhere in the floating mountains, neteyam and i follow after them. when we touch down, neteyam picks me up and sets me down; something he loves to do to remind me he’s 3 feet taller than i am.

“fucking skxawng”, i mutter under my breath. before i can even turn around to shoot him a dirty look, he picks me up by my waist with one hand, laughing at me kicking him.

“what was that you just said?” he asks, still laughing at me.

i shoot him the dirtiest glare possible, “ i called you a fucking skxawng, skxawng. now put me down before i rip your braid out.”

neteyam laughs and sets me down, walking away like i huff. we both eventually walk over to spider and lo’ak, sitting beside them and admiring the forrest. we all talk and joke around, laughing about stupid jokes and talking about rumors. we eventually get on the topic of crushes, me teasing spider about his growing crush on kiri, neteyam rolling his eyes like lo’ak complains.

“cuz, come on, that’s my sister i don’t need to know that you want to bang her bro. how would that even work anyways, a human and a na’vi??”

i sigh to myself, knowing what lo’ak says about a human being with a na’vi is true and that neteyam and i will probably never grow to something more than just being friends.

little do i know, neteyam is having the same thoughts, wanting and wishing we could be more than friends, when in reality he knows that kissing me is probably off the table because of my exopack.

the conversation between all of us dissipates as we quiet down, all thinking about different things. i stand up and brush my legs off before saying we should head back so we can be home before eclipse. neteyam agrees while our brothers sigh with “do we have too” and “just like 5 more minutes i swear.”

we eventually all start walking back to the ikrans, lo’ak and spider racing each other. neteyam and i trail behind, talking and shoving each other and laughing. i look at him, the sunset shining on his beautiful blue skin and as it gets darker outside his freckles start shining. i realize that my feelings are futile, but it’s hard to be around the most kind, loyal, protective, beautiful man and not get attached.

i sigh, realizing i have gotten caught up in my own head again. when i look back up at him i see him with a sad smile.

“what’s wrong?” i ask.

“it’s nothing.”

“well it’s got to be something, you’re not usually sad for no reason.”

he sighs and says, “really, it’s nothing. we should try to walk faster so we get back before eclipse.”

he starts walking faster towards the ikrans, making me jog to catch up. i grab his hand and stop walking.

“neteyam, please, don’t keep stuff from me. we are best friends, and when we first became friends you promised to always tell me what’s bothering you.”

“stop digging y/n, i don’t want to talk about it right now. i just want us to laugh and talk like usual right now.”

“just tell me so that i can help you and we can go back to normal.”

“i don’t want to talk about it.”

“nete please-“

“fucking stop y/n, i’m not going going to talk about this with you.”

i stand there shocked, not used to him getting angry. he walks off and i follow after him, confused as to why he’s so mad. i know i shouldn’t have pushed but it’s not like him to be so sad.

when we get back to the ikrans lo’ak and spider immediately notice that something’s off, seeing the look on neteyam’s face. when spider and lo’ak look to me i shrug and shake my head. it’s awkwardly silent before neteyam clears his throat and says, “ y/n, how about you ride with lo’ak and spider rides with me tonight.”

lo’ak and spider both whip around and look to me, about to complain about how it’s never been this way when i just shake my head. spider raises an eyebrow at me but walks over to neteyams ikran anyways. i walk to lo’aks, waiting for his to grab me by the waist to help me but he doesn’t. i climb up, and go to hold onto his waist, but i stop and hold his shoulders.

neteyam and spider take off first, lo’ak and i soon after. we sit in science for a little before he asks, “so what happened?”

i sigh, “he just seemed off. he’s been more distant and sad lately, but i guess that’s just a journey of him becoming a man.”

“yeah well he has been stressed out about the whole ‘becoming a man and choosing a mate’ thing. it’s not like there’s not 20 girls that would die for him to stick it in them,” he snickers.

“ew come on lo’ak that’s disgusting.”

“i mean, i know who im choosing when i become a man.”

“the hottest girl who wants me, duh cuz. i mean that’s skxawng has always been picky, but now it seems like he’s trying to always want what he can’t have.”

“what do you mean?”

“come on cuz, you can’t be that blind. did you notice when he started getting all whiny earlier?”

“no? i mean after we talked i guess?”

“and we talked about what...”

i pause, trying to remember.

“ummmmm we talked about how you wanted to bang that girl we saw that was healing you and neteyam’s dumb asses, we talked about how spider is never going to find a na’vi that wants his tiny ass but let’s be honest, him and kiri totally have something going-“

“no you fucking skxawng we talked about humans and na’vi, then neteyam got all whiny and shit.”

i pause, “so?”

“so who is the human that neteyam spends all his time with?”

i stop.

“you’re saying that neteyam likes me?”

“YES THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING AND YOU CLEARLY LIKE HIM TOO”

i blush and laugh, “ lo’ak, there’s no way he likes me. you said it yourself, he was like 30 hot girls lined up for him.”

“he totally does like you-“

“he totally doesn’t-“

“but you like him anyways. that’s the point, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not because we all know that you two like each other.”

we ride back home in silence, i think about what he has said. could it neteyam actually like me too? is that why he didn’t want to talk about it with me? i wonder what would even happen if he did, it’s not like we could mate.

when we land at home, i get of lo’aks ikran and thank him for telling me. i walk to my tent and lay down, thinking about how this could change everything. i should probably talk to neteyam about it instead of just mulling it over by myself.

i decide to get up and go talk to him, even though i’m scared that lo’ak could be wrong. i mean, what if i talk to him about it and tell him i like him when he doesn’t even like me back? i stand by his family’s tent, not sure if i should go it on not.

while i’m standing there thinking, i don’t notice that neteyam walked up behind me. he taps me on the shoulder and when i turn around i see that it’s him.

“hi.”

“hey?” he says, nervously scratching his neck.

“i think we need to talk, i was about to go in and ask for you.”

“i told you i don’t want to talk about it-“

“lo’ak told me you have a crush on me.”

he stares down at me with wide eyes. i can see his cheeks turn purple as he blushes and he opens and closes his mouth, trying to say something. i grab his hand, my small one grabbing on to 3 of his fingers. i walk us over to my tent, thankfully lo’ak must have gotten spider to stay away for a little.

when we go inside my tent, neteyam looks so nervous that you would think i’m trying to shoot him. he starts rambling, “ listen i don’t know why lo’ak would tell you that because i don’t have a crush on you i mean, you’re my bestfriend that would be kind of weird right? i mean not to say that you’re not funny or pretty, because you definitely are but even if i did like you, i mean how would that even work, i’m na’vi and you’re human and we probably would even be able to kiss because of your exopack and-“

i cut him off, “neteyam, i like you.”

“you do?”

“yeah, i do.”

“but why me, why not lo’ak? or anyone else?”

i look at the floor, “because i don’t want lo’ak. i want you. i want your smile and how funny you are. i want to talk to you and go on your ikran with you. you understand me like no one else. i see you nete.”

i feel a his hand on my chin, guiding me to look up at him. he hugs me, my forehead on his chest.

“i see you y/n,” he says, kissing the top of my head.

[chaosandmarigolds]

imma request more bc that adoption one actually sent me to the heavens and back..

so i have a similar idea that i wanna throw out there but have it be Dad!simon riley and foster/adopted!reader. Have like, their interactions when reader has to first meet simon, and simon is able to bond with reader bc hes traumatized too

it can be like a headcannon style or a one shot, whatever idea striked you.

like actually can i be you? like you write SO GOOD so QUICKLY my writers block could NEVER

(I'm actually a Tomato right now I'm blushing so much in my school library what- thank you so much!! your words will live rent-free in my head for the next seven to eight weeks ngl

Ahem ahem I have a new thingy- Adoptive dad Simon! lil blurb (700-1000 words i think) & foster!care reader (i don't think I used gendered pronouns but if I did please remind me)

For the record, you never thought yourself to be a problematic child, sure you were a little unruly and you lived by your own rules but to be honest any person in your situation would be the same. A child whose childhood was ripped from you the second your father grabbed a beer bottle and the rest you preferred to keep locked away under a lock with a key you kept away. So you sat in your social workers office for what you thought was the billionth time in the month, hands mindlessly fiddling with your hoodie string and eyes staring out the window.

Birds. You always wondered what it would be like to be a bird, it must be nice, to be free like one at least- no matter how cliche the thought you enjoyed it.

Only for it to be ripped from you as you hear your named hissed from the workers, Margi's, mouth. With a grumble you turn to look at her from across the oak table, trinkets from her perfect life adorning it, and her perfect little family in a golden frame, staring at you- made you sick.

"Seventh school, seventh! Are you trying to have to move counties again?" She snipped at you, her voice dull as she typed something into her computer.

"Maybe I am."

Margi gives you a look, a frown written across her face, "What does that mean?"

"The Wilsons, Adams, Johnsons, Kievs, they all suck and they were mean."

"They were mean?" She mocked your voice and then scooted her chair to face you fully, "I'm trying here, kid, I'm trying. But you-" she shuttered a laugh as if she just found your mere presence unbearable, "You make it so hard, you're goin to Douglas county."

A look is etched across your face as you take in the news, Douglas was forty miles away, so the news was a bit shocking. "Wha-"

"There is a single man-"

"No."

"Yes. You'll sleep here and he's picking you up in the morning."

--

It was stupid, Price had told him he needed to find purpose in his life and that fostering might fulfill that- well...he didn't realize his captain meant dogs and cats and somehow he had passed to be a foster parent. For reasons that are beyond him. So there he was, four foster kids deep- all adopted within two or so months and then going to their new homes. He wouldn't lie, he didn't like any of them but he was sure to be as kind as possible, as...open as he could (which is close to none) but according to the children he did a great job.

Somehow.

There was a new one, problematic from the file, a story reading a bit too close to his own that he almost didn't want to take it up for the sake of his own mental clarity. However, it was urgent, and there was a need and the solider in him urged him to go on and fulfill it. So that is why he was now standing in the police station at six in the morning an hour away from his home.

A brief conversation with the social worker and a few police officers that had encounters with you, all warning him with the banter of your antics and that if he had any common sense he'd 'slap some sense into you' All of that he just responded with a glare and changing the topic.

Then they brought you out your lively hood packed into a small and tattered black and blue duffle bag and clothes a bit worse for wear, looking exhausted upon all of that. Simon made eye contact with you for a moment, it almost seemed like a stare-down- until the social worker cut in-between you both.

She motions to you as she introduces you to him and she then motions to him, trying to take your bag to hand to him but you had an iron grip, "Mister Riley-"

"Simon." He interjected, giving the worker a look, "Call me Simon."

You bite back a smile at how flustered Margi became by his correction and after a few more warnings of how you like to run away and skip school and everything you had a tendency to do you sit on the bench in the building. A good forty or so minutes passed and you wouldn't lie you were hungry so as soon as 'Simon' came over you chirpped up, following as he had motioned for you to do.

"Could we get some food?"

Simon stayed quiet until you reached the truck, letting you put your duffle bag into the back and then stopping you from getting in the front, checking your height against his chest and then with a breif motion of the hand told you to sit in the back.

Alright. You thought, not a big talker.

"Diner okay?"

"There's a good one down the street-"

Simon hums and grabs his phone from his pocket as he buckles up, holding it back for you to take, "Put it in the gps, yeah?"

A faltering silence as you stared at the phone, which was new, normally your foster parents wouldn't let you touch anything of theirs- much less a piece of technology. An unlocked piece of technology.

--

"Can I get juice?" You ask quietly as you look over the menu, subconsciously looking for the cheapest option.

"Mmhm, what else?"

To that you look up, "An...and pancakes?"

"An' eggs."

"What?"

"An' eggs," he said again, looking up from his menu, "Growin, need protein."

"I don't...like eggs." You see his blonde eyebrows furrow to your words and you mumble on, "Not alone, I like potatoes and eggs but eggs alone make me gag."

"Then get potatoes an' eggs."

Darn, there goes pancakes. So when the waitress comes back over she gets Simon's order and then yours, and you ask for the potatoes and eggs, only for when she left Simon to be staring you down.

"Have you ever been told you're scary?"

"All th' time. Though' you wan' pancakes."

A moment and you blink, "You said to get eggs and potatoes."

"Get al' three."

"But that's expensive."

"Ah, yea- 20 dollar's for a meal tha' gonna make you full an' happy is expensive," He dully replied, and then your expression he did his best to soften his expression, "Kid, is okay, yeah? Don' feel bad."

You sniffle as you see the waitress come over with your juice and his very boring black coffee, "Can I actually pancakes?"

"I'd be offended if you didn't."

(anywaaay that's it! hope you liked it! <33 ps. i love feedback and comments it truly makes my day!

[vashs-turtleneck]

Hi! How are you? I hope you are doing well <3 I binge-read all of you trigun fics and i loved them, so i wanted to request something too!

How about a Vash x reader where the reader sleeps on him? Vash is listening to them ramble about something and then boom, they fall asleep on him bc hes warm. <3

Omg my first request. I'm so honoured, and I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed my other fics!! I'm sorry this took so long to complete. It was a busy couple weeks for me, but I hope you like it!

Also this ended up being way longer than I thought it would.

Quiet Nights.

Rating: T Summary: After a less than stellar day, Vash can't seem to get out of his own head. Luckily, he has you. Pairing: Vash the Stampede x Reader Content: pining, angst, fluff. Word Count: 2.7k

It's quiet.

Galaxies paint the skies above him, his thoughts accompanied only by the sound of the wind blowing, the crackling of the fire, and the subtle discomfort of the rock he's leaning on pressing into his spine.

Quiet, but not peaceful.

Not for Vash.

Never for the humanoid typhoon.

His head is in turmoil, recollecting all his sins and keeping him from sleep. All the venom spat his way as the last town cursed the walking disaster, forcing you both out without so much as a chance to breathe, with bullets hitting the ground at your heels as you ran.

He deserved it. Every last word. Every last bullet shell. He knows he did, but you didn't.

He glances down at you, snuggled up so comfortably in your sleeping bag. Now you look awfully peaceful, your face barely peeking out from under the covers, letting him see the fine cut you got on your cheek as a result of today's troubles.

If he had been faster.

If he had been more vigilant.

If you weren't with him.

You'd be safer without him.

He's overthinking again.

Or is he?

Damn it, what's right anymore?

Keeping you around, is it wrong? This selfishness he lets himself indulge in with your presence, it must be wrong. But how can it be when it feels so right, when having you by his side makes his chest swell with a warmth that makes him feel like he's found a home?

Absent-mindedly, his warm hand reaches for you. He can see you. He can see the peaceful rise and fall of your chest. You're right there, but he has to remind himself that you're real. 

You're okay, he has to tell himself. You're alive.

But just as his thumb is about to carefully swipe over the scrape on your cheek, your pretty eyes flutter open. You look right at him, and Vash freezes.

“Eep!” The typhoon squeaks out in surprise and pulls his hand away. “S-Sorry! I wasn't doing anything weird, I promise!”

“That makes it sound like you were absolutely doing something weird," you tease back oh so sweetly.

“I promise I wasn't.” He says with a pout, looking away from you.

“Can't sleep, Vash?”

He shakes his head.

“Just thinking.”

“Well, that's no good. You always let that pretty head fill with such stupid thoughts.”

‘Pretty.’

Well you sure know how to get him to blush. He tries to shake off this feeling you give him and swallow down the butterflies fluttering in his stomach, taking a few calming breaths before he speaks again.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.”

“It's alright. I wasn't asleep.”

Vash turns back to you, his head tilting questioningly. 

“Hmm? Why not?” He asks, and he hopes that your head isn't filling with the same thoughts as his.

“I try to stay up if I know you're awake.”

And you must see the confusion on his face, because you answer his question without him needing to ask. 

“Gotta keep my eyes peeled if I wanna make sure you're not running off again.” You chuckle, yet your words hit him like sandsteamer.

Oh.

He can't really argue with you there. Hell, even just now, he was considering it. Part of him wants to reassure you that he won't leave, but he also doesn't want to lie to you. If it came down to choosing between keeping you safe and never seeing you again, he'd be gone in a heartbeat, no matter how much it would rip him to shreds inside.

He cherishes your presence.

When you came into his life, things became just a little bit more lively. Sure, his routine stayed mostly the same; it's not like there's all that many options for how to live his life when he's always on the run, but now he has someone else to share it with. You eat with him, walk with him, and when the double dollars are short and you have to settle for spending the night out under the open sky, you're right there, laying next to him in your own little sleeping bag. He can have a conversation with you as the two of you travel between towns. He can tell you about the stars in the night sky on nights like these, and help point out the constellations draped over your heads.

He's not alone anymore.

He cherishes you, no matter how selfish that may be.

He'd much rather not have to leave you, if he's being completely honest.

“Well,” Vash cuts the somewhat uncomfortable silence between the two of you. “If neither of us are gonna sleep, wanna look at the stars with me, mayfly?”

He sees how your eyes sparkle, and you sit yourself up in your sleeping bag, shuffling yourself closer to him. He leans against you and points up towards the stars, and your gaze follows his index finger. 

“Right there. Those ones over there make the shape of a four-pronged fork.”

The side of his face is dangerously close to yours, but you seem too immersed in the sky to notice. Thank goodness for that, or else you might have noticed his cheeks heating up.

“You see it?”

You must be able to see it. You're looking right a-

“I don't see it.”

“H-huh?”

“I have no clue what you're pointing at.”

“Whu- What do you mean?! You're looking right at it!” Vash says, his tone playfully exasperated, and it has you giggling so softly that he has to swallow those butterflies back down.

It takes him a moment to realize he's smiling too, watching you fondly as you try to compose yourself. Surely he's not that funny?

As he sees you refocusing on the stars, a harsh gust of wind passes through, striking the flames of the fire and forcing you to retreat back into your sleeping bag with a subtle shiver that Vash notices all too quickly.

“You cold, mayfly?” Though he doesn't have to ask. He can see it by the way your shoulders tremble.

“Maybe just a bit.”

“You could come closer, if you want. I have plenty of body heat to spare.” He tries to say nonchalantly, tapping at the space in front of him.

‘Closer.’

Closer would be nice.

And to his surprise (and secretly to his delight), you come much closer. You scuttle out of your sleeping bag and carefully situate yourself in front of him, sitting on the ground between his legs and leaning your back against his chest like he's some chair. You tuck the top of your head beneath his chin, an all too close position, but he's definitely not complaining. He only hopes you don't feel his heart hammering in his chest right now, but at least like this you can't see how his cheeks hue a deep scarlet.

You're so close.

Deep breaths.

“Better?”

“Mhm. Much better.” You hum, tucking yourself against him, his body and jacket sheltering you from the wind. “Now where is it again?”

“There,” He says as he points up towards the constellation again. "Do you see it now? If you look up from the tip of my finger, you can see how those stars make the shape of a fork."

"It still just looks like a bunch of pretty splotches to me."

"Mayfly!"

You giggle far too sweetly at his reaction, so purely that it almost eases the unrest in his heart. So carefree, so lighthearted.

Do you not care that you got hurt? Are you so oblivious to the danger he puts you through?

Do you not hate him for it?

Long lanky legs stretch out to your sides, your back pressed to his broad chest. It's easy to forget just how big he is when he hides his frame beneath this jacket of his, how well he hides just how strong he is. This jacket hides the body of something inhuman, a natural disaster, as people call him. Right now though, this jacket is keeping you covered and warm. 

His marred body is keeping you warm.

“I'm sorry, mayfly.”

“Hmm?” You hum, tilting your head back slightly to look at him and giving him a close view of your pretty eyes. 

“Your cheek. I'm sorry. It's my fault you got hurt.”

He hesitantly reaches for your face again, and when he sees you're not pulling away, his calloused thumb gently brushes along the scuff on your soft cheek, his touch lingering for just a moment longer than friendly.

Warm.

“It's not your fault, Vash. It was all just some stupid misunderstanding and we got caught in the middle of it.”

“Still,” He whispers, and even he can hear the sadness in his own voice despite his attempt to stifle it. “You'd be safer without me.”

You sigh. That same casual sigh you do when he's eaten so many doughnuts that he's given himself a tummy ache, like you're fed up with his silly everyday antics.

“It's like I said– Pretty head, stupid thoughts.” You tell him, turning forward once more and resting your head under his chin again.

“Right here,” You say, playfully tapping the knee he has resting against your side. “This is the safest place I can be, Vash.”

Safe.

Do you really feel that way?

“You're comfy, you know.” You say soundly, and it nearly has Vash choking on his own spit.

“M-Me?!” He blurts.

“I don't see anyone else here,” You snicker. “Very warm too. You weren't kidding about having body heat to spare.”

“I- well I- Uh…” He stumbles over his own words. He doesn't know what to say to something so kind right now, and strangely… intimate. Those butterflies aren’t going down easily. 

“Those ones look like you.” You chime, your hand pointing up at the sky.

“Huh? The stars?”

“Yeah, right there. Do you see? That's your spikey hair, and right under is your little mole.”

“How do you see that but not a fork?”

“Don't know, but if I can't see the regular constellations, I might as well make my own.”

Making up your own constellations. How cute.

He's not stupid. He knows you're doing this on purpose, trying to get his mind off whatever is bothering him, but that's just like you. In his mind, you shine brighter than the stars. His guiding light, something to bring him back down to No Man's Land when he gets lost in the maze inside his head.

“That one looks like Kuroneko.” You gush, pointing elsewhere.

“Who?” He says, trying to follow the direction of your finger. Maybe seeing pictures in the stars is harder than he gave you credit for.

“Don't worry about it.” You chuckle, letting your hand fall back down.

“Well that one looks like a doughnut with sprinkles.”

“You would see that.”

“And that one looks like a slice of cake.”

“Is your sweet tooth acting up?”

“...Maybe.”

“We'll get some sweets in the next town then.”

“Mmh. That'd be nice.”

Shared laughter fills the air surrounding the two of you, followed by silence.

Comfortable silence.

His mind is quieter now, no longer buzzing with unanswerable questions, regrets, and ‘what ifs’.

Peaceful.

Because of you.

After a few minutes of silently looking up at the galaxies hanging up high, he breaks the calm air between the two of you.

“Thank you, mayfly.” He whispers, not missing the way his voice trembles ever so slightly.

“I get stuck in my own head sometimes. I-I guess a lot of the time, really. It's… nice to have someone around to help me out of it.”

He clears his throat, trying to get rid of that shakiness in his voice.

“W-Well– y’know– not just someone. You're not just someone. You're one of a kind. Special.”

His heart is hammering in his chest, he can feel it drumming behind his ears. He doesn't want to promise you anything. He doesn't make promises, but if he can just try to express to you how badly he needs you around, then maybe…

“You're, um– you're very precious to me, mayfly. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. Not without you, anyway.”

Oh no. You're not saying anything. Was that too much?

“Ha ha… S-Sorry, didn't mean to bring down the mood.”

God, his heart is pounding. If you didn't already hear it before, there's no way you can't hear it now. 

Another few moments of silence pass, and he can't take it anymore. Vash gulps and looks down at you, worried to see the expression on your face, scared he took this too far, but when he does gaze down, you're wearing the most peaceful expression he's ever seen.

You're asleep, nuzzled up against him. Not only that, but you're asleep first, despite what you said earlier. Actually asleep too, he judges based on how deeply you're breathing.

Guess he can't run off if you're keeping him in place.

‘You're comfy.’

Is he really? These hands stained with blood, this body tattered in scars, this unchanged face that he's worn for over a century, this name that has the power to strike fear in the hearts of all. Yet here you are, leaning into him, asleep, vulnerable, and completely trusting of him.

You must be crazy. Don't you know he's the humanoid typhoon?

He's holding you close. A tad too close for what he would consider friendly, but despite the heat he feels rising to his cheeks, he doesn't want to pull away.

His limbs wrap tightly around you, pressing you into his chest, his head leaning slightly against your shoulder until your hair tickles his nose, like he wants to melt into you. Shyly, he takes in the scent of you. That smell that is so inherently you. Just the feeling of you so close to him, grounding him, quieting the thoughts in his head.

‘You're here. You're okay. You're alive.’ He tells himself.

Warm. 

Soft. 

Safe.

Home.

Truth be told, he could never bring himself to leave. He'd have to be pried away from  you, and even then, his hands would cling to you until his nails were cracked and bloody. If he was being honest with himself, you've got him by the heart.

Maybe he'll let himself be selfish. 

‘Maybe just for tonight.’ He promises himself, though even he knows that's a lie.

✧ ✧ ✧

Morning comes all too quickly, the suns managing to shine down directly onto you. You groan, bringing a hand to your face to rub the sleep from your eyes. You shift your body to stretch, yet you feel yourself held in place, and look down at your waist to see what it is.

A pair of arms wrapped around your middle, one cooler than the other, but both just as comforting and inviting.

This isn't your sleeping bag. It's far too comfortable, and definitely warmer than that dusty old thing.

“Mayfly.” 

The sweet word tickles the shell of your ear, whispered out so softly that it sends a spark of electricity coursing through you.

You lean your head back to look at the source of that sweet sound, letting yourself fall deeper into that comfortable, inviting embrace that you don't ever want to leave, your eyes falling to what, or rather who, is behind you.

Golden hair rivaling the rays of sun shining down on you, eyes like the clear blue sky above, and an alluring warmth that feels like home.

He smiles down at you when your eyes meet, a genuine smile that shows off those cute dimples. You've never seen them from so close.

“Good morni-”

“WHAAAGH!” You cut him off with scream, not expecting to wake up snuggled up so close on your outlaw companion’s chest.

In your surprise, you completely knock your head into his pretty face. He swiftly brings his hand up, groaning, feeling the bit of blood starting to trickle from his nose.

Yeah, okay. He should have known you'd be surprised to see him so close. Maybe he had that coming.

“Oh god! I'm so sorry! I just- I wasn't- I was a bit startled, is all. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry, Vash.”

“Ehe… I'm fine. Don't worry about it.”

Maybe that's what he gets for letting himself be so selfish.

Though if that's the price he has to pay, he'll gladly let you break his nose every day if it means he gets to hold you that close.

divider.

[sharp-silver4795]

Liu X EJ headcanons 🙏 :)) I love your writing and lore

EJ x Liu HCs

Hehehe gladly!! There are gonna be some story elements to this as well, so bear with me.

The first part is story (TW) and the second part is HCs!

Thanks so much for the compliment! I’ll say it again: I will never get used to people seeing my stuff and liking it 💖

How they met (Story Elements)

This part can be triggering

After Eashar became EJ and Selcra disappeared (died), he wandered around looking for someone to know and someone who he could take care of and would take care of him.

While walking in a wooded area of (some city in Florida- idk) he finds Liu against a tree, very sad in the aftermath of some very traumatic events.

Liu is prepared to be humiliated and defiled further, but is shocked to see what he thought was a man take off his hoodie and offer it to him.

WHOLESOME TIME

From that point, EJ would follow Liu to his house so he could find his window.

EJ visited him every night.

Sometimes he would find Liu crying. So he would cuddle him and lick away his tears.

Other times, Liu would try and communicate with him.

At the time EJ wasn’t too confident in speaking due to his demonic strange voice. So, he would just write shit down.

One time Liu told him that his English wasn’t great either. EJ never told him that if he learns one human language (doesn’t matter which) he can learn all of them cuz ✨demon magic✨

When Liu died, EJ begged death (Fox) to take him to Hydra so that he can see him again. He’d lost too many friends and loved ones to let Liu go.

Life (death?)

So, I’m gonna do this after the fall of the OR, so they’re in Hydra again.

Liu always wakes up lying on top of Jack. Whenever he tries to get up- EJ will stop him and hold him there until he doesn’t have another choice but to let Liu go. (Like needing the bathroom, food, water, etc)

Jack isn’t allowed to cook for obvious reasons. Their mornings are spent apart so Liu doesn’t puke at seeing his husband eat a human heart.

Liu has to force this man in a shower and to brush his teeth before being allowed to kiss him.

They have to buy toothbrushes in bulk cuz EJ rips em up- his are single use.

Their bed is fucking huge cuz they both giants

Night time cuddles is a god death-given right

Because EJ wants to make sure Liu is safe at all times, he HAS to be touching him skin-on-skin.

Just because of that ⬆️ Liu sleeps shirtless

They have an ass ton of blankets bc Liu is naturally very cold he’s dead and ain’t got hot acid tar running through him

Their bedroom door is always locked because of Liu’s issues from trauma and the fact that EJ sleeps naked even though his junk is inside his body smh

EJ

He can’t keep his hands off of Liu, mostly his sides and back. Because that’s the way he holds Liu while they’re cuddling.

Anytime Liu is sick or in pain, he’ll put his hand on his chest with a little bit of pressure since the weight is grounding for him and he likes the reminder of how strong his husband really is.

Liu has a bite mark on his left shoulder from EJ. If it starts to fade, he’ll throw Liu on his lap and bite into him all over again. Liu usually grabs something to do if he notices it in morning cuz he’s gonna be there for a while.

Liu is the only one who can pet him.

Liu likes to hear and feel him purr, so he doesn’t mind being vulnerable enough to just purr at random. Being in the same room, putting his hands on Liu’s back, intimate activities, being pet, anything- he will always purr without holding back. EJ usually felt it was embarrassing. But around Liu- nahh!!

He will sometimes grab Liu to the couch or bedroom just to lay, nuzzle, headbutt, or knead on him.

Liu

He can’t sit on the couch. It’s like EJ knows when he sits down because he will just throw himself on there and lay his head on Liu’s lap. Buddy needs pets.

He likes flustering, gently frustrating, or making EJ giddy cuz his ears move a lot and he thinks it’s silly.

Sometimes pretends to be sick so EJ will take care of him and so he doesn’t have to go to work. EJ knows he’s lying but indulges him anyway

If he wakes up from a nap, and there isn’t a 6’9” demon laying on him, he will cry.

If he feels insecure he will grab EJ’s hands and just put em wherever it is that he’s worried about. His hubby usually gets the hint.

The fucking king of pets and scritches

Cuddle time is all the time- if he has a chance he is hugging EJ like he’s gonna fade away

Is secretly horny as hell and has to take some deep breaths every morning, basically

Likes to act like an idiot so EJ throws him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Melts when EJ calls him “his lil potato”

Teases EJ by calling him an oversized cat

Omfg I love them so much-

[starrwrrld]

anon asks

do you like milkshakes

what are your fave lestappen fics of all time

where's your username from??

damnn okayy ty for this anon <3

Yes I love me a good milkshakes but im not obsessed with them or anything (cant stand strawberry tho). My dad has been making absolute bangers of milkshakes for as long as I can remember so it was a cold beverage I grew up with a lot. This also means i'm very judgy about my milkshakes so I don't drink them unless i'm sure they're gonna be good.

oh lordy lord. this is gonna be longgg.

@maxcuntstappen's I Loved You Before I Knew I Was Supposed To holds a special special place in my heart. Lav, being the absolute majesty they are, did a phenomenal job with it. It's so tender and soft and sweet i can't get enough of it. I've read it enough times to narrate it scene-by-scene. I wish I could read i again for the first time ( I would gladly slam a cardoor on my hand for it). Something about it makes me wanna hug Lav and cry. (CHECK OUT LAV'S OTHER FICS TOO THEY'RE ALL AMAAZING AND SO WORTH THE READ AND RE-READ)

Right Where You Belong by @amarynas is another absolute fav. This remains the fic to which i cried the most without a doubt. It's so fluffy (lets ignore the absolute heart attacks it gave me for amin here) and RWYB Max is an absolute loser boyerfriend (affectionate) and I wouldn't want it any other way. Also shoutout to Cisca for making Charles so tenderly fierce. It was a treat.

Long Live (The Walls We Crashed Through) is a fic i'm an absolute sucker for (sue me, i'm weak for the bsfs to lovers trope). It's so tender and nice and heartwarming and I wish I could read it again for the first time.

Never in a million years would I have thought I'd read Chef AUs, but here we are Grapefruit Mignonette and Give Me That Fire are both Chef/Restaurant AUs that truly slap. They're both so well written and give you an amazing insight into the industry while keeping you in a chokehold the entire time.

Red, White & Orange-Nassau and Homeward Bound by @f1-giuki are OMLLL. They're both so good it's insane. They give me sm comfort i wanna cry. The found-familyness of it all has me in such a strong chokehold and i don't ever wanna come out of it.

Meet Me In Montreal is a series by my legend @bumblewyn that i absolutely love. It's a pretty quick read (it's all mini fics that averages at 2kish words per work, hence why the series) and a constant reminder about these two's inability to be normal about each other with a side-dish serving of angst.

I'm pretty sure there are so many gems out there i've missed mentioning bc i have the memory-span of an octopus (fun fact if you havent figued it out; octopuses are the animals with the shortest memory span of just 3 seconds) but yeah. RIP to all the other amazing fics out there that i've read and adored but simply can't remember atm, i hate my brain too (and i suck at bookmarking or saving my favs so here we are). (P.S. All these writers have more amazing, amazing fics that i've not mentioned so do check them out if you haven't)

Uhm. It literally has no meaning behind it, love. I love love stars (fav shape fs) and i was struggling to find a username and i happened to be dooding stars at the edge of a sticky note whie brainstorming usernames so i decided on star, my brain generated the word 'world' for me and it became starrwrld bc starworld was already taken. (and maybe, just maybe, it is a small allusion to the song starman and to bowie himself bc i love that man)

[binch-i-might-be]

oh god. i cant. like. i have so many thoughts in my head rn. i need to choose just one to rant to you about. but my god. know i have SO MANY

and no bc i am constantly thinking about how they have to hide. how theyre so fucking in love but nobody can ever know. how their love is so fucking pure and sweet and yet nobody can ever see it, but the unhappy arranged marriages are flaunted for the world to see.

yk whats on my mind constantly? how nobody came to their wedding. because they couldnt. it would be too dangerous. not even the people who know. because it was already so dangerous, even when it was just them and the river and the stars.

and the LINE. "you can share your life with the man you love without fear and thats a luxury i will never have" lives in my brain. just constantly. like my god. you pulled out ALL the stops in that fic. that line tore me APART. like okay. what if i just sobbed.

god. im just. im cradling them in my hands. these poor poor boys.

- 🐥

give them to me ....... send them ALL 🌀

dude it literally rips me apart. that's one reason I'm so obsessed with the reincarnation au, because finally finally finally they get to hold hands and kiss and be silly and young and in love. they're constantly in each other's arms, touching at every chance, to make up for the 45 years they had to hide

NOBODY CAME TO THEIR WEDDING! it was just them and it was so special but. they didn't even have an officiant. because no one would have married them :(

THANK YOU. I loved that line, I loved that John was the one who got to say it to Martha. he needed that. he deserved that.

actually you mentioning the wedding and Martha reminded me of a little bonus fic taking place during Green Eyes that's been rotting in my drafts for like two years now, I'm gonna put a lil snippet under a cut!

yeah. cradling them kissing them tucking them in nice and tight and protecting them :(((

“Alex, dear, I- would you mind telling me a bit about that wedding of yours?” she said, brushing her thumb over a chip in the smooth porcelain cradled between her hands.

She had asked George about it after Alexander had left last night, but he hadn’t been able to tell her anything, either. He had not been present for it; on some level, she had been glad, even if that was petty, perhaps.

It was just hard for her, sometimes, to realise Alex felt he could be open with his father while he so obviously treaded on eggshells around her, even giving a warning every time he was about to mention the man he wanted to share his life with.

To know George hadn’t been involved in that wedding was a bit of a consolation.

Alex snapped his head up and regarded her with wide eyes. “Really?” he said, and there it was again, that guarded expression, as though he expected her to launch into a lecture about sodomy and the fate of his immortal soul any minute now.

Martha ignored the dull pang in her chest that came every time she was reminded her sweet little boy distrusted her on some level now, and forced a smile. It felt stiff on her face, and she knew she had raised a very sharp young man, so she hid it behind her cup.

“Yes, really. Of course, I have attended some weddings in my time, but I do think yours might have been very… special.”

Alex huffed a soft laugh and cut his gaze away, his eyes finding the gently shining ring on his finger instead, and a blissful little smile conquered his features. “You could say that.”

Well, that distraction had worked quicker than she would have thought.

“So?” she prompted, careful, and nudged her knee against her son’s thigh.

“Um,” he said and slowly turned his cup between his fingers, an old habit he had picked up from George, who liked to absentmindedly rotate everything from wineglass to teacup when he was lost in thought. “What would you like to know?”

“Let’s start with something simple,” she said, and Alexander chuckled. “The date?”

“June sixth,” he responded at once, smiling softly to himself.

“Oh, a summer-wedding? That must have been nice," she said in an attempt to show him he had nothing to fear right now, that he could be honest and open with her as he was with his father. "Your father and I got married when he was on leave in January. The snow was beautiful. Awfully cold, though."

Her first wedding had been in autumn, but Martha tended not to dwell on that chapter these days.

Alex snorted a laugh and took a sip of his tea; he wasn't tense, and he didn't seem suspicious of her intentions anymore.

It was a start, she thought.

"It was… a little different from your wedding, I think," he said. His eyes were so soft and happy, not even a trace of his earlier tears in sight, and Martha wished she could understand it all. What drew her son to that boy, and what drew Laurens to her son, and how they fit.

It just seemed so odd to her.

"How so?" she prompted gently after a beat.

Alex flushed a bit at that, didn't meet her eye. "Well, it was… private. Just the two of us, out under a tree at midnight. The- the moon was full that night. Cloudless sky." He took a slow breath, and his smile slipped a little, gained an almost sad note. Martha shuffled closer and squeezed his arm. "We went down to the river and said our vows under a willow."

He turned back to her, his smile returning full force. "It was perfect. There's not a single thing I would have changed."

Martha hummed, thoughtful. She couldn't help but wonder about the stricken look that had flickered across his features just now.

"You mean that, love?" she said, and Alex nodded, let his eyes slip back down to the ring he twisted around his finger–Martha had to bite back a fond smile at that gesture, something she herself had done for over twenty years now. Perhaps Alex hadn't only picked up his habits from his father, after all.

"What was that frown about, then?"

[eunoiaastralwings]

Hi, lovely! I'm so glad your requests are open! I have a cute idea that I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing?

Either Elladan or Argon bc they need more love ❤️

They have a secret admirer that occasionally leaves letters or little gifts (like cookies or small trinkets) for them. (They really hope it's y/n!)

Y/n accidently outs themselves at some feast/party and are so embarrassed, and it super flusters our elf boy, and he manages to confess as well

Thanks in advance if you decide to write this!

Be Careful What You Wish For

characters elladan x reader

fandom tolkien- the hobbit the lord of the rings

a/n @fictionfordays - I have it and I really hope you enjoy it hun - was lowkey tempted to end this in angst lmaoo

Elladan grinned - seeing yet another little piece of note left by his hunting gears.

He raced up and picked by the lavender scent note - his fingers excitedly opening it and his brother’s calls became distant:

‘The only time I have realized I have secretly fallen for you is when everything around me reminds me of you, in the smallest things, and the most unexpected moments, and I cannot tell you a single thing about it’

Elladan let out a soft breath - that he didn’t know he was holding.

His grin turned into a soft smile - as his eyes glossed over the words again.

Then, suddenly the note was ripped from his grasp.

He groaned - turning to his twin with a glare.

“Elrohir-”

“The only time I have realized I have secretly fallen for you. . .is when everything around me. . .reminds me of you, in-”

Elladan rolled his eyes and grabbed the carefully crafted and decorated note back from Elrohir. 

His usually calm and composed twin - compared to himself - broke away from his usual façade to tease him for the little notes and sweet trinkets left by his supposed secret admirer.

It had been almost a month since he received these little gifts - left lying in places that were bound to be found by him.

The only people who would know him that well, were the ones of his kin . . .and Y/N.

The daughter of Lord Glorfindel - his heart never ceased to skip a beat whenever he set his eyes on you and he hoped more than anything you had left these precious little messages and trinkets for him.

Though - Elrohir being the wiser twin had advised not to let his heart go astray. . .what if it wasn't you?

It would leave not only his - but whosoever heart he captured broken too. . .

But call him selfish - he wanted. . .needed it to be you. . .

Elrohir had seen it through too - and he deeply hoped it was indeed you, you could not bear to think of the consequences otherwise. . .

“Be careful what you wish for, brother. . .”

Elrohir said quietly and moved away - making Elladan sigh.

Elladan gulped reading over his precious little note again - imagining it as it was your voice reading it out loud to him.

He was in too deep for something he wasn’t even definite about.

Elladan quickly hopped down from the high grounds - following his twin back into the centre of Rivendell.

The feast of Starlight was happening tonight and his father would scold him to Valinor if he was late for it.

He quickly got ready - dressing himself in the finest wear his father and sister had picked out for him - knowing he lacked any skills in looking presentable for feasts and festivals such as these.

Once Elladan was finished and dressed to look suitable for the event - he was surprised to meet you as he opened the door.

Your hand was moments away from knocking on the door and you blushed furiously as he chuckled.

“Hello, dear lady - what may I help you with?”

He asked - bowing generously to you.

Once composing yourself you rolled your eyes in a very unladylike manner - it was one of the reasons Elladan felt moved by you.

You didn’t let rules tie you down - you were your own person, proving much to be your father’s daughter.

He always admired it.

“I was hoping to get your opinion of my dress. . .”

You blushed as you spoke.

Elladan then dropped his gaze to your dress - a shimmering color that complimented your skin.

You wore it elegantly - you looked truly beautiful dressed in your favorite color and Elladan suddenly felt unable to form words as your beauty radiated causing his cheeks to redden a little too.

“I knew it. . .I look awful don’t I?”

You sighed - in seeing how long he was taking to answer. Unaware of what was really happening to him.

Elladan quickly reached for your hand as you turned away looking ashamed.

“Wait - no you look radiant!”

He blurted out fast - his face blushing again and he needed to clear his throat.

Elladan thanked Eru for his fair skin - for if his skin had been ruddy or freckled like the Feanorian relative he had heard he would have been a bright red berry.

Elladan suddenly felt the pain of the Feanorian as he stood in front of you - bashfully.

He grinned seeing you let out a sigh of relief.

You looked positively glowing - he thought.

Once Elrohir had joined the both of you - you three made it down to the festivities.

While tended to his duties behind his father - his eyes still remained on you.

You had gotten a hold of his sister Arwen and was interacting with her well into the night - that was until Aragorn had whisked her away.

Sneaking away from his father’s side he grinned making his way to you.

You had instantly smiled seeing him - making his heart skip a few beats.

“Elladan. . .”

You smiled.

“I told you look radiant!”

He smirked - has he overheard so many of the guests and residents complimenting you. 

Including Lindir couldn’t help himself from delivering a compliment.

You blushed with a small thanks.

Elrohir came to your side not too long after - and joined Arwen and Aragorn had finished their dance they joined in your little circle too.

“Elladan, brother - why don’t you say about the lovely note you had gotten this evening?”

Elrohir suddenly said - making Elladan almost choke on his drink.

Your eyes had widened and you slowly looked at Elladan you tried to compose himself - then sent a glare to his twin.

Elrohir was the only one who knew Elladan had a secret admirer.

“A note, hanar?”

Arwen questioned - the excitement in her voice could not be missed.

Elladan tried to say something - but he was immediately cut off by Elrohir.

“Why, yes, little sister - a note from a secret lover no less.”

Elrohir smirked.

You had gotten unnaturally quiet - sipping away the wine in your hand but you listened attentively to the conversation.

“You have a secret lover, hanar!”

Arwen spoke excitedly to Elladan - her eyes sparking wanting to hear all the information about it.

“Oh what were the words again? Something about ‘The only time I have realized I have secretly fallen for you. . .is when everything around me. . .reminds me of you. . .’ I wasn’t able to read the rest of it - because someone took it away from me.”

Then Elrohir met eyes with his twin - it was only when he side-eyed you did Elladan understand what his twin was doing. 

Elladan looked at you for a quick second - your eyes were on your wine but you were nervously biting your bottom lip.

He looked back at Elrohir who sneakily gestured to Sîdhel - Lindir’s daughter.

Snapping his eyes shut for a second - he took a deep breath.

“Yes - I do. . .sometimes little trinkets. But usually it is little notes.”

His eyes snuck to you as he spoke to Arwen.

“They are deeply poetic and beautiful - definitely from a gifted writer. . .perhaps even a singer. If I didn’t know any better I would be from Sîdhel. Her lady always knows the right choice of words - her words are always poetic. Her form of speech is as if reading a poem from one of Master Erestor’s scrolls. She knows a little craftsmanship from-”

“No!”

You suddenly shouted - your eyebrows had knitted together in anger and you almost slammed your glass down on the table beside you. 

You earned some glances - but you were too angry to notice them.

Elladan frowned seeing the sudden change in you.

“How could you think they were from Sîdhel? Sîdhel never showed any interest in you. She surely hasn’t spent countless nights trying to think of perfect words to fit into the feelings my heart feels for you. Elladan you never listen - I spoke those words to you before, perhaps not exactly as written, but it was plainly obvious. And the little trinkets I left you? Did you not understand the carved horse at least? When you first took me out horse riding, it was the exact horse I carved for you. Or the flowers? - Remember the flowers we saw when you first took me hunting! Or-”

You suddenly silenced your shouted as you caught yourself in what you were doing. 

You gulped - blushing a deeper shade of red by the second as four pairs of eyes watched you in shock.

You couldn’t even look Elladan in the eye - hastily making a ridiculous excuse you quickly escaped.

Your father’s bright blond hair was within sight and you were around to let him know you were going to retire early tonight.

Then suddenly a grabbed your wrist from behind you - you knew that familiar grip and you refused to meet his gaze.

“Y/N. . .”

Elladan breathed out - still unable to believe what he had heard.

“I-. . .forgive me. . .”

You sighed - only for Elladan to pull you to him and press his lips on top of yours.

Your sighed widened in shock but found yourself immediately kissing back.

After a moment he pulled away - placed his forehead on your forehead.

“My brother warned I should be careful what I wish for, - because I wished for you, I wished for them to be from you, meleth.”

You blushed.

“I thought you were hoping for Sîdhel. . .”

You frowned.

“My clever little starlight, I was hoping to catch you out.”

He winked as he smirked.

You rolled your eyes - you should have known Elladan surely had ways to catch you out on your own game.

“You are truly a fool for not understanding my gifts to you.”

You muttered - feeling a little upset.

“That I am - but I am your fool.”

Elladan grinned.

You laughed.

“I love you, Elladan. . .”

You confessed.

He was about to reply when someone had cleared their throat behind you.

Both of you turned to your father with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow.

“Ada. . .”

You tried - but Elladan immediately cut you off.

“I love her!”

He suddenly blurted - making you burst into laughter.

Glorfindel then only smirked.

“Good!”

He took his leave.

“Elladan!”

You laughed at the look on his face - he looked as if the doomsman of the valar had arrived before him.

He shook his head.

“Well at least your father approves.”

“He sure does.”

You laughed - then smiled as Elladan dove in for another wish.

They say you should be careful what you wish for you - and as Elladan protectively and lovingly kept you in his arms, you knew you wished for the right thing.

Taglist form

tara's taglist: @wandererindreams @fizzyxcustard @ranhanabi777 @spidergirla5 @asianbutnotjapanese @floraroselaughter @mismaeve

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

that took long bc i had to collect everything and then my dad asked me to come downstairs and help him find his glasses 🤡

~*~*~*~

The boy caught Mini staring, and he did that cute thing where his mouth went up and his teeth showed. At that moment, Mini could've sworn someone had hit the "pause" button on the world. She saw that adorable gleam in his eyes, the way his pearly white teeth glinted in the sunlight, and his silky hair as it fell over the side of his face, ever so slightly covering his brown eyes. Mini's brain processed his smile at a slow pace as she gawked at him, her heart fluttering slightly.

Then he winked at her.

He winked.

At her.

And then maybe someone had hit the "play" button on the world again, because Mini's body had decided that that was the perfect opportunity to bump into a pole.

~*~*~*~

Mini tried to mask her faint smile with fake anger as soon as she heard the shuffling of clumsy feet behind her.

“Um, Mini? Can we, uh, talk?”

“We don’t need to talk.”

“But–”

“Leave, Rudy.” She didn't need to turn around to know that Rudy was probably about to babble about something behind her.

“That’s exactly what Aru told me to do, so I came here! Where else am I supposed to go now that you’re telling me to leave too? You know, I always thought you were the only one of the Potatoes who liked me, even if it was just a bit. They all think I'm just a, y'know, and it's annoying! If you’re going to be on my side, then who is?”

Mini made a small noise with her throat, a mixture of annoyance, confusion, and pity.

~*~*~*~

She knew the final war had taken a great toll on Aru. She was exhausted, and so was her mother. They would rarely come out of the museum, and Mini felt nothing but pity and sorrow for the two.

Though the burden she carried wasn’t as bad as theirs, she had never felt worse. Constant headaches and dark thoughts filled her mind. School work was piling up. And on top of everything, she had to talk to… Rudy.

She wondered how he was, back in Naga-Loka. Was he happy? Maybe being spoiled with gems and riches, like a normal naga prince? Did he have… A girlfriend?

Mini pushed her questions aside.

Math first, Rudy issues later, she told herself.

~*~*~*~

She got on her tippy-toes and looked through the peep-hole.

Rudy.

Her heart seemed to beat ten times faster, and her palms became slightly sweaty as her hand wrapped itself around the doorknob. She pulled the door open–revealing Rudy–and squinted, as he was dressed in his usual blinding white clothes.

All of a sudden her brain seemed to process things at a lag, though–one second, she and Rudy were a couple feet away from one another, and the next, Rudy seemed to have wrapped his arms tightly around her in a bear hug, preventing any oxygen from entering her body.

~*~*~*~

Rudy tapped his pencil against the table, legs swinging forwards and backwards under the desk. He took a breath in, as if he were about to reveal one of his darkest secrets.

“So, Mini…”

Mini gulped. “Yes?”

“I don’t know how to say this, but, you’re really smart and all, so…”

Her breath sped up a bit. “Go ahead.”

“Will you…Um… Tutor me?”

Mini froze as disappointed coiled up inside of her. The way Rudy had been speaking, Mini had assumed that he’d meant… Something else.

She barely processed the sorrow evident on Rudy’s face.

“You know, I would ask Aiden, but he would probably be annoyed, and I really need you to tutor me since I might join human school and all that, I need to know the basics of things work and stuff–” 

“Oh! Yeah, sure. I… I guess.”

~*~*~*~

Rule number three, make the first move, because Rudy is an idiot, Mini reminded herself of Aru’s words.

And then she leaned in without even a moment of hesitation.

I AM CHEWING ON GLASS AJDJSJFJDHHDHXHSHSD

RIPPING UP MY CARPET AJDUSHDJSJDHDBDBVDBSHSNEKSKEJEN

[lericekrispie]

PD time have some Mark Wavelength Winters headcanons-

Mark met his wife through a job. Come on now, his wife had to know about what he did and she was okay with it? My headcannon is she was probably was an independent vigilante/bounty hunter working for money and she and Mark got set on the same target at the same time. Give it like Batman Catwoman energy. Her powers had to be like Ashe's, like a magical energy. She had the natural silver hair, the book is an heirloom but she could never open it.

He proposed but she did a lot of nudging. They would go shopping and she would stop by ring stores and try them on, "oh doesn't this look just natural on my finger?" Miss Winters would also make them stop and look at wedding dresses and flower shops and cake shops. Mark was pretty dense when it came to her hints, sue him he doesn't read minds.

She was a high spender, Mark liked being comfortable but he could also live dirt cheap. She bought a lot of witchy things like crystals, tarot cards, jewelry, and diamonds. Miss Winters was beautiful and liked to feel beautiful. Again pulling on big Catwoman energy.

Mark took her last name.

The wedding was gorgeous.

It was a lot easier for Miss Winters to leave the business rather than Mark, bc she worked for herself while Mark was caught up in a Mafia/syndicate. They wanted to leave/retire to raise a family.

When she got pregnant and was expecting, Mark asked to retire, Overlord pushed him to stay. Mark stayed until Ashe was born, then the two packed up shop and moved across the country undercover and under the radar, hiding from Overlord. They managed to hide for four years. Mark had asked Tide to help cover his tracks, and Tide agreed to help. Part of the reason why they stayed hidden for so long.

Mark was called by an old family member who asked for help. Miss Winters didn't want him to go, she felt that something bad would happen, the energy was wrong, but he said he had to go. It was a trap to lure him out, Mark fought and lost. He was offered death or the mercy to return to working for Overlord. He had tried to get away, but there was no escaping his old life.

This is when he got experimented on, to be a better fighter (the technology is fairly new it needs to be later in the timeline). It reminds him constantly who he 'belongs to'. He never tried to take care of that part of himself, neglecting to change bandages or take meds or even explore what new things he could do bc he hated it and wanted to rip the scales from his skin. It was a violation of himself.

He was missing for half a year before it was safe for him to see his family again. He had to keep them secret. Miss Winters thought Mark had died. Ashe was 4 and a half.

Ashe was 10 when she died.

When Overlord died Mark was freed but he was sent directly to prison, his son possessed unable to do anything, he had lost everything again. Once again he was powerless over his own life and decisions and had to do what he was forced to.

When Mark escaped prison, he was able to find an old safe house he had set up. It's a dingey pre-paid motel room that hidden in a vent is $1,000, a singular hand glove that connects to his powers but is about the equivalent of an extreme taser (nowhere near his suit power), a week of canned food and water, and a burner phone with two numbers saved. His wife's and Tide's.

(Side note someone should help me brainstorm names for Her!!! I'm tired of calling her Mark's Dead Wife she deserves a Name!)

[thewingedwolf]

i am rewatching shadow & bone bc, once again, i am a parody of myself, and i really am so fond of Mal in the show, i am deeply nervous about how he’ll be written in s2 lol. not as nervous about almost everyone else - i say ALMOST bc i was not impressed with the way Jesper & Nina weren’t shown to be bisexual, like, at all, & while i think it was just clumsy writing & not malice (the same as the clumsy way they wrote Alina’s race), that doesn’t mean it’ll get better lol. also pls understand i spend half my time shitting on the darklng, ben barnes does an excellent job reminding me why i hate that bitch okayyyy

Mal already knows that Alina’s tent with the other cartographers was moved, and knows where it moved. We first see him fighting but seems like he got there, immediately attempted to find Alina, figured out she had been moved and was wandering around, then said fuck it she’ll find me or i’ll find out she got thrown in lock up again, and decided to go beat someone up so he could show off his kruge in front of her lmao

Alina is interested in the grisha. she’s smiling and curious, clearly thinks Zoya looks cool af (she’s right, Zoya is cool af). Mal spends the entire time frowning at them lol. Could be bc a grisha just crashed his party, could be mal’s general dislike of grisha and the upper class. it’s very funny either way that he just Refuses to smile until Alina distracts him

Alina experiencing A Racism but still thinking quick enough so her team can eat makes me emo but also Mal immediately being like “time to commit some crimes” every single time someone is racist to Alina is so great, get u a real man like Mal

Racism is done very messily in the show and i’m hoping it improves bc like - Zoya is insulated from most racism due to her status, but we still get that comment about “YOU from Novokribirsk?” comment from another Grisha, which seemed like a pretty obvious slight at her being Suli. Alina experiences racism everywhere she goes from nearly everyone she meets - random cooks, cartographers, servants, Zoya, and the Darkling himself. Even Genya sort of brushes off the comment about her eyes as like, typical bullying and not something very different & much more insidious. Mal looks uncomfortable at the anti Shu Han propaganda & I think that’s it? Which feels weird bc he doesn’t have the class protection Zoya has, but maybe he doesn’t *look Suli* culturally the way Zoya and Inej clearly do. Or are Mal AND Alina both supposed to be Shu Han? We know from Inej and Nina (and maybe Zoya, idk, i never read king of scars bc i would have to acknowledge Matthias & David’s deaths and I refuse) that the Suli are still mistreated on a legal level in addition to social, but are maybe treated marginally better than the Shu that live in Ravka, bc Ravka is in an active war against Shu Han. Is that the difference in what Mal experienced vs what Alina does? lol or i’m overthinking something that clearly wasn’t thought out very well before they put it in the show. I just like. Do Not think Mal is meant to be a white Ravkan, firstly bc Archie isn’t a white brit, and secondly because - look at him aksjdjd that is not a man that can really pass for white. I hope they handle Alina’s background better, especially since she’ll be interacting with other Shu characters, in s2 but i also want an explanation for Mal’s background!!!

I do think it’s funny that the sickness grisha get if they don’t use their powers is very informed in the show. Mal makes a few comments about Alina being sick all the time but she doesn’t actually look or act sick at any point in the show aksksk

Mal is so strong, like the dude is fuckin ripped, a fucking volcra tries to rip Alina away and he’s just like “yeah i can take this bitch with one hand” aksjsj

I feel bad for that lil blond boy that clearly has a thing for Alina lmao he really tries to stick up for her and she does not even notice a little bit and then he dies bc West Ravka is like “anyways don’t get captured even tho we’re at war with half the world and you have no resources, crew, or family over here” ya, they’re way better than Old Ravka smh (Zlatan is just as big of a bitch as the king and darklng dammit)

Interesting that Zoya only gets shitty with Alina after both the Darklng & Mal clearly choose her over Zoya. Mal she probably doesn’t gaf about, but it definitely stung her pride that she can’t even pull an orphan from Keramzin but Alina can. Before that tho, even if she’s thrown by Alina, she clearly sees Alina as One Of Us. She even looks visibly annoyed when everyone starts laughing at Alina and her “i’m a mapmaker” response & seems to pick up on the implied racism of the “what are you” question. It’s an annoying response that after being rejected, Zoya uses that racism against Alina to put her in her place but like…I guess it’s not wildly ooc? bleh.

Ivan and Fedyor purposefully ignoring the Shu Of It All when talking about power and privilege is 100% why Alina takes so long to trust the grisha, and so easily turns against the Darklng imo. For all they understand the danger of being Grisha, for all Ivan wants to lecture Alina about her privilege at dinner, none of them even bother to understand what it’s like now, right now, for the poor of Ravka. You serve in the army & let the Darklng indoctrinate you with his nonsense, or you flee like the mother in the first episode does, taking your chances with the slavers & the volcra & the Fjerdans. There are no good choices for the grisha, no good choices for the non grisha peasantry, and Alina’s entire existence, from the never ending racism she experiences, to the death and starvation she’s surrounded by, is a constant reminder how few choices that exist no matter if you’re grisha or not.

So like, most of the bad guys have Weird Foreign Accents and I dislike it. All the Ravkans should have Russian accents but it’s only Fedyor & a few mean servants that do. The Fjerdans all have accents. Pekka has an accent. Everyone else is just a brit, including people in Kerch, even tho they don’t even speak the same language as the Ravkans do, they speak Kerch! Why does Kaz not have some country bumpkin accent dammit

“When our closest friend is in trouble, we do foolish things.” Smash cut to Kaz doing the Dumbest shit in an attempt to protect Inej from Heleen l m a o it’s not one whipped bitch in this show it’s two (it’s three actually, Matthias just hasn’t shown up yet lmao)

When Mal & Alina are both envisioning each other & reach out to hold the others’ hand, hundreds of miles away but desperate for comfort, THAT was the moment i fell for them. Archie & Jessie are just so Powerful okay aksjdjd

feels more obvious in retrospect that he’s not trying to train her to do anything but answer to him. he doesn’t even bother preparing her for the king bc he knows he can amplify her powers, so long as she’s not fighting him.

I do not buy Baghra’s insistence that Alina’s feelings for Mal hold her back. She’s able to summon her powers when she’s angry, and Baghra takes that short cut by continuously pissing Alina off. But Alina also uses her powers whenever she thinks of protecting Mal; she protects him on the skiff & when she remembers trying to run away with him for protection, she can summon a bit of her power. It’s Alina’s compassion that gives her abilities, but Baghra has spent so much time nurturing her own bitterness, watching her son nurture his anger, it just never occurs to her that Alina’s strength comes from her desire to protect the people she loves. Alina goes from wanting solely to protect Mal to channeling her power through her anger and rejection & Baghra treats it like a win but it’s just another shortcut that clearly makes her more susceptible to the Darklng whispering in her ear, not less, and if Baghra had any goddamn sense, she would have seen that she was making her son’s job easier. But like, the darklng didn’t just come out of nowhere lmao, and you can clearly see where he gets his defeatist, manipulative, and bleak ass outlook on life from.

As a certified Matthias stan still refusing to acknowledge the end of crooked kingdom, i think it is genuinely so funny that Mal gets chest wound after gut wound after chest wound in s1 and shrugs it off, but Matthias gets shot one (1) time and dies immediately & cannot be saved by the most powerful heartrender that ever lived. leigh PLS

“you are my true north and i can see my way to you now” IM JUST.

Genya has to hurt Alina’s feelings by lying about Mal, then immediately and smoothly changes the subject to something that will make Alina laugh. She knows she has to betray Alina and she tries her hardest to soften the blow, encourages Alina to return to the blue kefta instead of going too hard towards the Darkling so she has the protection of a color and a people, warns her as best as she can to be wary of the Darklng, even while she’s helping isolate Alina from anyone who could help her escape. i’m so depressed about Genya.

Enter David and Genya loses her damn mind ansjsjdjdjd Alina is doing miracle sun summoning and Genya just watches David the whole time, who probably cannot fucking believe his luck that his weird ass boss for ONCE is letting him hang out with the meanest, coolest, smartest person in the palace instead of Ivan & Fedyor, who spend all their time flirting with each other and bullying him

Fjerda is lichrally trying to commit genocide against the grisha & Shu Han does…some jacked up shit to their grisha lol, and i did a whole post about how the Darklng is just more of the same, but so is Baghra. All their talk of looking out for Grisha, but they both treat the peasantry of Ravka as disposable. Nikolai is theeeee only valid ruler specifically bc he does think of the cost to the peasantry & to the grisha before he makes decisions (something his father and his brother also don’t do lol). And both Baghra & Aleksander allow this “us vs them” bs to permeate through their own people - no grisha healers help the first army, and Ivan reads the dead but glosses over the Otkazat'sya deaths to focus on the grisha. but this is on purpose - if you make the grisha other the Otkazat'sya, you can easily turn them against one another. neither baghra nor aleksander ever work towards like, actual freedom for the grisha by building bridges and relationships between the grisha and the Otkazat'sya, they just turn the grisha into weird, insular child soldiers.

Alina realizing she can just swing on the racists now love that for her

Mal tends to deal with his feelings for Alina bubbling to the surface by purposefully breaking the tension; closing his eyes & going to sleep when they’re thrown in the brig, cracking a joke about going to Ketterdam when he steals her food. But their convo in the woods after they’re reunited is the first time he doesn’t try it - you can almost see he wants to, when she says she cheated on the grisha test bc she didn’t want to leave him, his whole brain short circuits at what it could mean, and it’s a moment where he might have purposefully broken the tension but instead he takes a minute to think before he tries to open up abiut his own feelings - only to get derailed & heartbroken by the realization that the stag drawing wasn’t Alina trying to communicate with him, but Aleksander manipulating & isolating her. But he still doesn’t break the tension - he lets Alina hold him, and he holds her in return, & stops running from his feelings for real this time.

I do find it so funny how Aleksander sees David raising his hand to speak, initially starts to tell him to knock it off, and then realizes David will not understand why Ivan and him find it annoying & just decides to choose his battles aksjjdjd.

Also, him going through the five stages of grief when he realizes Mal & Alina are together, and overdramtigcally monologuing about the orphans of Keramzin being reunited to this random dude who has no idea wtf he’s talking about. Perfect, no notes.

Episode 7 is just very well written. All the conversations are tense, all the action is painful, all the acting is amazing. From David half in tears as he helps enslave Alina, all the anger going out of Alina when she realizes the king was raping Genya, Genya’s guilt & shame over her own hand in betraying Alina stopping her from talking even though she’s usually so composed, Mal’s helpless snarl when he says Aleksander will wish he’d killed him, even Aleksander’s inability to look Alina in the eyes because he knows she’s right to hate him it’s just that he thinks she’s a justifiable sacrifice. Meanwhile the Crows are being the most chaotic idiots ALIVE akskdkdk just perfect, excellent writing.

What i think is interesting is that Alina makes the hypocrisy argument to Genya, and it works. Genya appeals to Alina’s compassion when she admits the king has been raping her, but Alina pieces together that Aleksander placed her in front of the king to begin with. Not a soldier, just a pawn. And Genya is so struck by this argument she has no counter; she just leaves in tears. Alina tries this with Aleksander as well, to get him to see the hypocrisy in his actions - of killing the king because the king is a monster, yet using the fold as a weapon. It has the complete opposite effect because whereas Genya is aware on some level that she’s being used, Aleksander is so far removed from his own experiences as a pawn, as a target, he can’t see her point.

“all countries will answer to us. for who would oppose us now?”

means Something to me that Immediately after that nasty comment from that heartrender, Zoya sees another Suli girl (who, if we remember, someone she is friends with just called Suli trash before getting got by said Suli girl) who is about to be killed, witnesses the destruction of her home and what she will find is the death of the only person who ever loved her as a child, and makes the decision to betray the only stability she’s ever known for the glimmer of hope that Alina can offer her.

It’s also exactly what I mean when I say I hope we get an explanation for Mal’s background. In Inej’s chapters we get the sense that the Suli are a people that draw close together, even outside Ravka. Her curse on Bajan clearly hits him hard; even clearly trying to assimilate into Kerch culture, the thought that his Suli ancestors may forsake him for harming a fellow Suli really gets under his skin. So in the show, what I love is we get a small exploration of this bond that exists between all Suli as outsiders in their home countries - Zoya and Inej instinctively working together, Recognizing that bond in each other, with Inej even attempting to stop Zoya from going back to the ruins of the city, of wanting Zoya to stay with them. And Zoya, despite her pained history with her own people, despite her comments about Alina being [redacted], clearly returns those feelings. She’s so much warmer with Inej, and vice verse, then say, Jesper is with Mal (he’s not cold to Mal, he’s just Typical Jesper). The thing is - maybe you could argue Zoya and Mal kind of take a small interest in each other because they recognize the other is Suli, but Inej and Mal don’t really have that connection in the time they know each other, and Zoya and Mal are much more cordial with each other than Zoya and Inej are. OBVIOUSLY there are other factors at play. But. Whereas we get a hint of Zoya’s own complicated past, and Inej is defined by her ties to her culture, Mal doesn’t really show any of this beyond one single uncomfortable look at a Shu Han propaganda poster, and that’s likely more to do with Alina than his own background. I JUST THINK ITS WEIRD AND CLUMSY OKAY.

idek what to say about Alina’s amazing speech besides HELL YEAH THATS MY WIFE. she’s so fucking cool.

Ivan’s lil bitch ass being like “know your place” RIGHT AFTER Alina gives her “you asked WHAT I am” speech and then Jesper being like “i think the fuck not” and tossing him overboard. absolutely perfect i love that man.

Zoya looks so uncomfortable during the whole conversation by the fire. For the first time, she’s the outsider - the lone splash of color against the browns and blacks of the crows and malina. But when Zoya says she has to go back, Inej shoots up to stop her, and even Kaz attempts to dissuade her from what he thinks is no better than a suicide run. Since her childhood, Zoya has seemed alone, but just as her aunt stepped in to save her then, and the crows attempt to console her now, Zoya is never as alone as she feels.

And neither is Alina! Knowing where their stories end up going, i think it is interesting that both Zoya and Alina are very adaptable and very adept at making very loyal friends. Despite all the odds against them, with them being Suli and Shu, with Zoya being a huge bitch (which I love) and Alina constantly struggling with her own self worth, other people see just how amazing the two of them are and are willing to fight for them, with them, to be near them. Sankta Alina and the Grisha Queen. Wonderful.

[kamiversee]

okay, i breathed.

holy shit kami.

first of all, “a tinge of angst” is a MAJOR understatement. my heart was pounding, my head was reeling, and my knuckles were turning white from gripping my phone. YOU KILL ME, KAMI.

i always understood the Gojo delulu, but holy shit. i’m sure this isn’t the last time we’ll run into him, but the way that last kiss felt so permanent made my heart shatter. THIS MOTHERFUCKER SAID HE’D THINK ABOUT KIDNAPPING THE READER and you have the audacity to write him so well that i was okay with it for a brief moment so long as it meant that we’d still have him around 😭😭

that Sukuna passage was ominous from beginning to end 🥹 something is coming and i know i’m not ready for it. just talking to him gave me major anxiety again. it was like a reminder that while the list is over, the consequences of that list are still revealing itself. i’m overanalyzing that whole passage to see what it could be foreshadowing to. i have a few ideas, but every one of them is making me go crazy. oh my fucking god. while the Sukuna scenes have been so great, considering his relation to Choso i’m slightly going insane from the possibility (guarantee?) that Choso will find out about this. UGHHHHHHH

speaking of Choso… that motherfucker. Kami i don’t know if i mentioned it before, but i wasn’t a Choso girly before your fic came along. i never even watched JJK. to me, this is my JJK LMAO. but the amount of parallels from what the reader is currently experiencing with Choso with what Choso is now making the reader go through is karma not giving our girl a break 😭😭 if this ends up with Choso pulling a “there’s someone else” i think i’m going to bite off a piece of drywall 😭😭😭😭😭 CHOSO I’M ROOTING FOR YOU!! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!!!!

also you’re revealing red flags in me that i never realized before bc why was i jealous over Choso’s interaction with Yuki 🥲 it makes no sense bc like… Yuki is so fine. i’d usually be like “FORGET CHOSO, I WANT HER” (i’m still kinda like that hehe) but the fact that they’re hanging out makes me civisjndjdjcjdnfbdbvbennfjenf AAAAAA. like yeah, he has a point when he mentions how he’s not tied down in a relationship, but holy shit. Choso feels like the reader’s karma that she lowkey doesn’t deserve since the situation has been out of her hands from the beginning 😭 KAMIIIIIIIIII

the cliffhanger. i’m about to rip out my hair. KAMI PLEEEAAAAASE WHO?????? A CRUMB OF A HINT. JUST A CRUMB. THAT WAY I CAN AT LEAST HAVE AN IDEA OF WHO I’M GOING TO GO IN A SPIRAL OVER FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. the fucking possibilities 😭😭 the thing that would kill me considering the mention of the nightclub proximity my brain was immediately like “oh god, Nanami???” but i was also like “hold on… Naoya…” but then i remembered that the reader met Naoya at a bar and not a nightclub (and he doesn’t seem like the type to be at a café 😭). KAMI YOU’RE DRIVING ME INSANE AND YOU HAVE ME JUMPIN TO ALL SORTS OF THEORIES AAAAAAAAA

- ☃️

Gotta be one of my fav anons fr, I seriously love these long rants sm😩😩

ALRIGHT LETS UNPACK

Hi my name is Kami & welcome to my podcast😉

Lol jkjk, honestly I didnt think the angst was tht bad?😭 There were no tearssss but I SUPPOSE I’ll change the warning😔

Guys Sukuna’s just a silly lil guy, I gotta include everyone again SOMEHOW before the story ends y’know😹

As for the Choso & Yuki situation…

ANYWAYS !!

Guys I promise the person tht she sees isn’t tht bad💀 well, it can be but uhhhhhh yeah lemme shut ip before I spoil everything😭

Like ik the cliffhanger is spooky bc like… it’s me writing it BUT BUT it’s nothing y’all needa worry abt fr

TRUST ME !! Do NOT trust me

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

You can't just say that you'll never write anything as good as a scene and then not share it give us the goods

oh man anon welcome to the shit show that is the SOWK verse! for some context, this is a scene between Thad Harwood and Dave Karofsky, who become friends after On My Way. Thad is under the impression that he and Dave have been dating for months, Karofsky is repressing the hell out of his feelings for Thad, and when the rest of the inner circle bring this to their attention (he brought you to a Warbler party, Dave, that's as serious as it gets), Dave panics, flies back to New York, and instead of going back to his campus upstate, he finds himself at Thad's apartment, and this scene takes place when Thad gets back to New York a few hours later!

It's long, so I'm putting it under the cut, with warnings for internalized homophobia & internalized aphobia

(also I'm not posting the entire thing bc I want to create intrigue but also I want to post the entire thing because I'm obsessed with them rip)

Thad walked home alone from the train. Dave should have been there, should have been laughing as he complained about the cold, reminding him that Ohio winters were far worse. Come on, Prep School, he'd have said, did two weeks in the Caribbean really turn you into a wimp? Thad would have bumped their shoulders together and faked a pout until he could no longer hold back his laughter, and that would have kept him warm all the way home.

Instead, he was alone in the bracing wind, bundled up tightly but still chilled to his bones. Finally he made it to his building, up the elevator, and to his door. All that he wanted was to get inside, to make himself a cup of tea and curl up under his blanket, to try to pretend that this horrible weekend had never happened. How empty would it feel, without Dave there beside him, sharing the couch and stealing his blankets? He almost couldn't remember what it was like to be alone.

Almost. Not quite. Being alone was engraved into him, just as much as being a Warbler. Dave may have helped him forget it, but it would come back easy enough. It was who he was, after all, at his core. And he had been foolish to think that it could be any different. He wasn't boyfriend material, he knew that. He was a good friend, a better listener than anyone would expect, but he wasn't built for relationships. Enough of his past partners had told him that — he was selfish, icy, a frigid fucking bitch — and it was his own fault for pretending that Dave could have seen him as something more.

He unlocked his door with shaking hands, and he would swear to the grave that it was only the cold making him shake, all too ready to bundle up and cry.

But when he opened the door, there was someone else there. There, on his couch, with his blanket, looking like he belonged.

He does belong, his heart whispered. Shut up, his brain retorted, don't get our hopes up.

"Dave?"

Dave looked up, surprised. Like it wasn't Thad's fucking apartment that he was sitting in.

"Thad? Wow, um… I hadn't realized the time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here, I'll—"

He stood, halfway to the door, before he stopped again, looking at Thad – really looking at him – for the first time.

Then, at the same time – still in sync, a traitorous part of his brain whispered – both of them spoke.

"I'm sorry." "I'm sorry."

"What? No, Dave, you didn't — I mean, I'm the one… I mean—"

"Breathe, Prep School. Please, let me talk? If I don't… I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough again."

More than a little curious, Thad felt himself nodding.

"Go ahead," he said, just a second delayed.

"Even before I knew that I was gay… I've always known that I wasn't built for love. Not real love. The only relationship I even had was with Santana and she was using me as a beard to win prom queen. It just wasn't in the cards for me, and I kind of came to terms with that. And then I realized I was gay, and I really knew. I was never going to come out, so even if love was a possibility, it still wouldn't be."

Thad opened his mouth – to comfort him, probably. To tell him that he was wrong, that he was built for love and that Thad himself was fucking proof of it. But Dave kept talking.

"When Aurora introduced us, I was at the lowest point in my life. My dad could barely look at me, my mom wanted to send me to conversion therapy, my friends had all turned on me as soon as the news dropped. And it felt right, you know? Karma, maybe, for everything I'd done. For how much I had hurt people, especially Kurt. And it was awful, but I accepted it. This was my punishment, and I had to live with it. But then Aurora showed up, and… well, you know what she's like."

Thad couldn't help but chuckle at that — he did know Aurora.

"She showed up in my hospital room, and I only barely recognized her. But she came over to my bed, waited until she had my full attention. She's so small, you know, but even then I could feel how much of a fucking force she is. She just stood there, looking at me. I was about to ask her what she wanted by the time she actually said anything. She told me that she knew how I felt, that she'd been in my position and she knew what I was thinking. And she told me that that wasn't good enough. That I wasn't allowed to just accept it, to just resign myself to being miserable for the rest of my life until the day I died. She said… she said 'fuck everyone else, Dave, fuck what you think you owe them. You owe it to yourself to keep living, to fight for your happiness.' She told me that I'd fucked up, that she wouldn't deny it, but that I still deserved to see that it really could get better."

A few tears escaped as he remembered that conversation, the words that had changed – and saved – his entire life. Thad wanted so badly to wipe them away, but Dave was still talking, and he didn't want to miss a word.

"She told me that I needed new friends, a better support system. She said that my dad should talk to Burt Hummel, and that my mom should shove her bullshit up her ass – her words, not mine. She offered to introduce my dad to Wes and Cooper, too, said that they could help him understand. And she said that she and Blaine were happy to talk, but that it would be good for me to have a friend who was, you know, a bit more like me. And she gave me your number, said that you were expecting a message and that I'd better not keep you waiting. She probably knew that, if she hadn't said that, I would never have sent that first text.

"But honestly, I found her a little scary. Still do. So I texted you. And god, it's the best thing I've ever done. You didn't expect anything from me, you didn't expect me to just go back to normal or anything, and you were always there for me. You helped me figure out how to keep living, how to have a life. You helped me find a school where people wouldn't know but also wouldn't care, you helped me figure out how to talk to my dad… God, Thad, you helped me so much more than I can even explain. You became my best friend faster than I even realized."

[babygirlizu]

For that list: 13, 15, 24, 27, 38, 42!

i've had this all typed out and then tumblr refreshed for some reason and didn't save this as a draft i'm going to ^#?}?{€{?

okok... again haha

13: my favourite colour is black. YES I KNOW "but black is a shaaade not a colour !!!" UGH!! IDC!! black is a nice COLOUR. it reminds me of the universe kinda. like you can look out into space, the darkness and the stars and just wonder: what is out there? how far does it go? it's a really deep colour to me and also kinda calming. but if you really want a colour colour i'd say blue and/or red.... and maybe orange... thanks kacchan

15: hmm do lyrics count? i'm somehow really bad at remembering quotes so... there's this 1D lyric that's been stuck with me for years. it's been my whatsapp status since uh... 2014/2015?? long time now haha... "reality ruined my life" bc... well that's what reality does, right? (obviously unless your life is going perfectly that's uh.. good for you haha)

24: hmm favourite style of clothing, that's a hard one. usually i mostly wear stuff that i'm comfortable with: black ripped jeans, t-shirt or hoodie (merch) and checkered vans (yes i'm bisexual). it's nothing special. but i REALLY like tech wear!! i think it looks so cool! maybe one day i'll be comfortable enough to wear it myself sjsksks

27: meaning behind my URL: izuku is a babygirl. the most babygirl that has ever babygirled. no one does it like him 🥰🫶

38: reason i joined tumblr HAHAAH ok look. back in november? december ? last year, the whole TWITTER IS DYING thing happened and well everyone was like "shit we gotta go back to tumblr" and i was like ????? I NEVER USED TUMBLR ‼️ but i gave it a shot and here we are? somehow with 1k followers ? (much appreciated, love you all) but honestly i still don't really know how tumblr works, so that's why i'm often really quiet with interactions. i just post and then LEAVE bc i have no clue how to.. interact on here? 😭

42: (why did it make such a gap here??) ok uh... i never really held hands with anyone? not in a romantic way anyways... maybe drunkenly with some of my friends, but that's usually not something people do with me or I do with people? tbh i'm having a really hard time being close to people up to the point where it's really hard for me to even give my friends a hug sadly, i think that's something to do with my trauma from school but ehh working on that? whenever someone's open to that i mean ...

back to ask post <3

[kyogre-blue]

Ooh someone put to words why I felt that Liyue's archon quest really dropped the ball after Mondstadt's, thank you! My sister was appalled when I thought Kequing was the same person as Ganyu when she appeared for the first time haha, I went "oh purple-haired messenger lady" and didn't realize they were different people until I met Ganyu again for the glaze lillies and realized the dissonance in her values vs Kequing's lol

But about Mondstadt's archon quest—my perspective was colored by the fact that I read all the Mondstadt books before finishing it, but still—iirc doesn't Venti explicitly tell us that Dvalin *isn't* mad about the temples or the lack of worship, but that when he came back to Mondstadt he was met with rejection because people didn't recognize him? Just how much he sacrificed defending them from Durin must have twisted the knife even deeper... This draws parallels to the time he first descended to the world and he couldn't understand people and the people didn't understand him so they reacted with violence and anger, until he finally met Barbatos who saw him for his beauty instead (breeze amidst the forest vol. 1). And well, the time in the archon quest isn't the first time that Stormterror had attacked—he and the knights have clashed multiple times and animosity grew (breeze amidst the forest vol. 2 citation) to the point that revealing that he's the East Wind NOW would be dropping a political hot potato and put the Knights of Favonius in a lose-lose between killing one of their gods or looking like their people's safety didn't matter to them.

Plus, Venti specifically stating that Dvalin doesn't have to listen to him made perfect sense to me because, in the past, Venti DID command Dvalin - in battle against Durin, 500 years ago. The fallout of which has obviously caused Dvalin an unimaginable amount of pain and is basically why Dvalin and by extension Mond were in such dire straits in the present. Venti must have felt so guilty... that reminds me, they actually made this point a lot more explicit in the closed beta! The meaning is a lot clearer there than in the final version, imho - In the beta, as Venti is falling, still awake, Dvalin goes: "speak...summon me, command me, and thou shalt be saved—" but Venti instead smiles, relieved. "You have finally returned, Dvalin" and blacks out. When he wakes up on Dvalin's back, Venti tells Dvalin "I never summoned you because I never wanted to order you again." the AGAIN is key here, I believe.

You're right that 'freedom when commanded by an Archon is really not freedom at all' came a little out of left field though. The context probably was about how Venti commanding Dvalin to save him would mean nothing, while Dvalin Choosing to save everyone, by himself, despite everything, means a whole lot. And maybe about how Dvalin willingly tying himself back to Mond isn't what Venti wishes for him, but it's not his place to tell Dvalin what causes are worth committing himself to? Maybe? I'll have to think a bit more on that, bc Venti does seem to support people committing to service as long as it makes them happy. Hm.

Sorry if this is incoherent and hard to read rip I typed it in my phone and I can't see the whole ask at once in my tiny screen lmfao. Also I was surfing posts about the Genshin storyline and saw yours, which I was nodding along with, then I went to your tumblr and realised "Wait, that's the author of those amazing khr fics I read ages ago!!!!!" So I Kinda Got Overexcited fjkjdh

Mmmm I vaguely recall that Venti might have said that, but again, it isn't conveyed properly, which defeats the entire point.

One off-hand mention isn't enough for the motivations at the core of your storyline's central character. We needed something more like Jean sitting us down and explaining painfully how Dvalin showed up out of the blue one day, how the people panicked, how no one realized who he was until it was too, etc. This should be at least three sentences with sad music in the background, is what I'm saying. Like, an actual scene of this. This is what I mean when I say Mond feels like it's missing half of its scenes, to help transition between what we did get.

Similarly, I don't count the books toward the actual storyline. Very few people read those. I only read them on the wiki, not even in the game. The game doesn't even think you're reading them, since Liyue Act 4 literally told us nothing that wasn't already in the books, because they knew most players don't know this stuff and had to be caught up on all that. Beta content is obviously even less countable, since it's just straight up not canon anymore, since they chose to cut it.

(The beta stuff is interesting though! Wonder why they'd cut something so meaningful.)

In general, Mond and especially Liyue suffer from a ton of the setting and situation being just... vague.

We're not explicitly told what the actual conflict between the Qixing and the adepti is. We're not told what the adepti actually plan to do. We're not told what the Qixing are even doing behind the scenes. It's all discussed in total generalities, when the specifics would have massive implications for all the characters involved. In Mond, it's somewhat less noticeable because, at the end of the day, Dvalin is not being rational or acting as he normally would, so the situational details aren't too important. But in Liyue, the situation IS the plot, so.... yeah.

As much as I hate it, I will say that the new writers are better at convey this stuff, for whatever reason. I just finished Inazuma act 1 again, and it's noticeable how much they walk you through the situation in Inazuma, compared to Liyue's vagueness.

(Not to say that it's all good or even enjoyable, the Ritou errands were just annoying and the NPCs are a cancer, plus the emotional and character writing is a mess, especially in the other acts. Hilariously, it even comes back to bite them later because they try to sweep under the rug the situation they set up so painstakingly.)

I feel like those KHR fics are my real legacy, and I'm happy with that. Those were good days, hehe.

[snugglebuddyhan]

Had a conversation with a few of my mutuals on my main twitter account about abusive parents and it really hit me how normalized this type of aggression towards kids is and how a majority of parents show no remorse later on down the road for the damages they caused by claiming it was what they had to do to make sure we were raised right. Abuse of any kind is NOT a catalyst or solution and it’s sickening that people try to find justification behind it

It’s not just about them showing no signs of remorse later on. It’s them, at that point in time truly believing beating us, putting their hands on us or verbally scaring us is the ONLY form of discipline in existence. You’ve failed not only as a parent, but as a person if installing fear in a kids heart through years of abuse is what you think parenting is. All the abuse does is create resentment and physiological/physical damage that may or may not be something that’s able to be undone and a relationship later on down the road that will without fail fall to shambles

What’s amazing is the amount of parents that get upset and have the audacity to play the victim when their kids move out as soon as they turn of age and never speak to them again. Not sure what’s not clicking, but WHY would they expect the child they abused on a daily basis to want to stick around if the choice was theirs? Just bc hands were never laid on them now that they are older or the verbal abuse has stopped doesn’t mean the damage hasn’t already been done. In order for me to work on my trauma and move past it I need to create an environment that’s not toxic or a reminder of what I’m trying to escape from and if cutting contact is what needs to be done for me to heal then so be it. Maybe if people kept their hands off their kids or didn’t talk to them sideways all the time they wouldn’t be sitting alone at home right now wondering if they’ll ever see them again or if they’ll end up dying alone

People really need to rethink their choices on becoming a parent if it’s not something they are sure they are mentally ready for using me as the perfect example. I have anger issues that definitely stems from my childhood and is definitely fueled by the current events in my life. I’ve taken my anger out on myself time after time vs on other people, although I’ve come close to hurting others a few times

When I get mad it’s like I disconnect with myself and reality and everything becomes a blur and all thoughts except raging out and destruction are blocked. It’s like a knee jerk reaction to want to instantly lash out, which is usually done to and on myself. It’s so immediate I don’t have time to think about the consequences of my actions nor do I care. I’ve repeatedly punched myself in the head so hard I saw white and went blank for a few seconds, once even heard what sounded like a crack, which should have been a warning for me to stop, but I haven’t and probably never will. Like I said, it’s a knee jerk reaction. No time to think

I’ve repeatedly punched my thighs with so much force they were bruised the next day and I had to wear sweats to keep people from asking questions. I’ve dug my nails into the skin on my arms until the skin ripped and I was bleeding. I’ve pulled my hair out, silently screamed until my chest felt like it was going to explode and I was fighting to catch my breath to keep from passing out. I’ve punched holes in walls and broke things precious to me. I caused permanent damage to my left wrist while in a fury one time. I went to hit the inside of the doorway with the side of my fist as I was walking out of it, but I missed and my wrist caught the edge of the doorway instead and to this day I can’t do much with my left hand before it locks itself in place and I can’t move it, which is also extremely painful and can take time to unlock

I am a self destructive person and despite trying to get better I’m still a work that will be in progress probably for the rest of my life. The anger inside me is dormant and is always waiting for a trigger and this aggression/hair trigger response will never go away, which is why I know being a parent isn’t something I’m cut out for

It’s not just my anger problems. I’m just not mentally stable enough in any form to raise another human being. I can’t make myself happy, so how am I supposed to make another person happy much less be concerned about their happiness? I don’t love myself. Never have and I never will. Day after day I neglect to take care of myself in ways more than one, bc of my depression, so how am I supposed to love and take care of another person? My anxiety is so bad I can’t even leave the house a majority of the time. Hell, even in my seclusion I have anxiety attacks that I struggle to get out of

I have acknowledged my problems and have accepted my reality as a person who should never have children. I don’t trust myself enough. What if I’m in a fit of rage and I hit my child or worse? I’ve almost knocked myself out with blows to the head. Imagine if I lashed out and used those same hands on a small child. What if my depression causes me to neglect them just like I do myself? What if my anxiety keeps me from being able to provide for them? There’s just so many what if’s. It definitely outweighs the good and is extremely concerning

I’ve made this point several times and people always tell me I’d understand their choice of parenting if I was a mother and honestly? That’s just their shitty way of trying to justify abusing their children. No amount of persuasion is going to convince me that type of behavior is okay and I don’t quite understand why people want me to abuse my kids so bad. I’ve also been told all the issues I have shouldn’t stop me from having kids, bc kids will be the turning point in my life and would probably change me for the better and I don’t believe that for a second. Anger, depression and anxiety are illnesses that not even medication can cure, so what in the hell is a child supposed to do? A kid is not some type of cure all. If anything I feel like it’d just be more on an already full plate

People just really need to take a closer look at themselves before having a child. All that abuse is stemming from something they haven't addressed within themselves. They need to take a good look at themselves first, bc their kids aren't the issue. They are