#remembering just how much i loved analyzing media in school
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powerfulkicks · 4 months ago
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yes i'm very smart *watched a few too many video essays and got a bit cocky*
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artist-issues · 7 months ago
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I know you have kind of commented on this topic in one of your posts, but what do you think of the fact that Tolkien hated Disney and thought of Walt as a "con-artist" (if I remember correctly) because of how much would be changed? Even though I very much love Disney movies, considering how Tolkien studied mythology, folklore and history from other cultures in-depth, particularly those of European background, I do understand why he was not fond Walt's work at all if we view it from his perspective. Other people seem to share a similar sentiment. I ask you because you often analyze Disney movies and their themes quite in-depth. This whole thing is interesting.
Well, I'll preface by saying I'm not much of a Tolkien apologist. I don't connect with him or his mentality as well as I might flatter myself by saying I do C.S. Lewis' mentality. C. S. Lewis had this beautiful way of blending genuine good-faith enjoyment of something and careful, intentional critical thinking. He could be a reasonable analyzer of media, and a childlike consumer of media, at the same time. Don't know if I've mastered that myself, or if I ever will, but I really admire it.
Which is besides the point, sorry! 😂
But Tolkien was different. First off, Tolkien said some things about interpreting the meaning of his own stories that I don't agree with. He keeps insisting he wasn't trying to "say" anything with Lord of the Rings, or infuse it with any particular "meaning." Truth of the matter is, though, that is not true of any good storyteller. What they believe about the world bleeds into what they create, if they're creating genuinely. So Lord of the Rings is about how small decisions matter, doing what you can with what you're given instead of trying to control everything matters—whether Tolkien likes it or not, whether he was always conscious of it or not, that's what his story says.
He also criticized weird things to criticize about Lewis' works. For someone who was Lewis' friend, I don't know how he could've looked at what Lewis was writing and been surprised, or disgruntled, at the hodgepodge of mythology in works like Narnia. I don't know what made him think a "children's story" would feel like anything other than...made for children.
But anyway. All that to say, I don't always agree with Tolkien, or feel like I understand him. His response to Disney movies is just one of those things I don't get. I can speculate, but I don't know.
Like I said, I think he was so used to thinking of fairy tales and literature in a way that is much...higher, and more layered, than how the everyday layman thought of them, that when a Kansas cartoonist started retelling fairytales without any apparent grasp of that layering, it really rubbed him the wrong way.
I guess it would be like if someone came along twenty years from now, pointed at Disney's The Little Mermaid, and said, "look! A cartoon about fish! I'm going to make an TikTok dance about fish and call it 'The Little Mermaid,' and retell it that way!"
First of all we'd be like "IT'S ABOUT SO MUCH MORE THAN FISH, it's not just an CARTOON, are you BLIND?!" And then secondly we'd probably go, "and what? A TikTok dance?! Are you kidding me? You want to take this beautiful pillar of traditional animation and living color and musical mastery and drag it down to the level of middle school girls flapping their hands around cringily??"
That's probably how Tolkien felt Disney was treating Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Because back then, the medium (TikTok dances, animation) was just associated with sort of lowbrow humor and silliness. Walt was still inventing the whole "animated film to be taken seriously" thing. And back then, Tolkien would've seen the comedy characters of the Dwarfs and their character development as very shallow in comparison to the mythos of Dwarfs in literary and oral-tradition history. He had the most background knowledge. So what he was comparing Walt's movies to was, for him, like comparing grape Gatorade to aged Italian Wine.
As far as Disney being a "con artist..." yeah, I think that's a little bit of a stretch. He was definitely selling something, but if you can look at Walt Disney's life and see dollar bill signs, instead of a guy who genuinely made what he liked because he liked it, you don't know much about Walt Disney. He didn't adapt fairy tales because he thought they could make him money. He adapted fairy tales because he adored them, just like he had a train in his backyard because he adored them. Ask his brother Roy how much Walter "Let's Invent Smell-O-Vision and Drop Flowers on the Audience of Fantasia" Disney was thinking about exploiting the public for financial gain.
Like I said, Tolkien was responding to Walt Disney because he was Tolkien, and it would've been like asking a Bird to relate to a Krill. They were way too different to ever understand each other on the level that either of them preferred being understood at.
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eddieshellscape · 8 months ago
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i just wanted to go on a fandom rant bc i'm tired and I love analyzing media.
So i've been a huge fan of x-men since like middle school and my otp in the fandom has and always will be scogan. It started off as me being like "oooh enemies to lovers they hate each other but they also kinda are into it" to like actually growing to appreciate the nuances of the characters and how they can bring out the best in each other. Like Scott is such a leader who feels like he needs the be the responsible one all the time. He's like that one person who always feels like they need to be stable all the time because if they aren't then they think everyone else will fall apart. There are many interpretations of the character, but that's how I view him. LOGAN on the other hand is like short little angry bastard man who likes pushing peoples buttons because he's afraid of getting attached to anyone bc he could hurt them or just outlive them since he's like freaking 100 something years old atp. He also has an insane healing factor so he's like practically immortal (i refuse to watch the logan movie bc i know he dies in it) so I like to headcannnon that he doesn't often take basic care of himself. Like he probably is like out in freezing temps and doesn't bundle up bc he won't get sick/die from it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need to take care of himself.
And then together you get Logan who helps Scott loosen up and be less uptight and worried about being super perfect around him, because logan's never the type of guy you have to be super presentable around. And scott cares so much about everyone he helps logan remember to take care of himself and I just bet they find so much comfort in each other and like oererfhhhhhhh. Marvel let me make an x-men movie i will be so normal about it I swearrrr.
Also, in most of the x-men media i've watched/read, Jean has like no personality or like,,, isn't relevant to what I'm talking about, but i think a scott/logan/jean polycule could be cute if someone actually gave that girl a personality (i'm looking at you, movies)
wahoo rant over
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sabakos · 6 months ago
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I do think english classes have some merit as a waste basket taxon (grammar, essay writing, media literacy, etc) that serve some actual function underneath the “high lit” bs, but it is funny how seriously people defend it. Shakespeare was mandatory in my curriculum, which I loved because I like Shakespeare. But objectively it was silly. Like a big game. You might as well make Spielberg or Tarantino mandatory. Honestly most of pre-uni school looking back felt like a game. Even most math classes consisted of “spend this class solving a sheet of differentials”. like the sunday paper puzzles. Undergrad is still bs mostly, but more boring bureaucratic bs, at least in my opinion. Seems like grad programs are where real education happens, but i could be wrong.
Yeah, I think we just as easily could have been watching classic movies and writing essays about them rather than reading books. Which I guess we also did do occasionally (watched the 1995 remake of Richard III set in the 20th century in English class, would highly recommend!) but it wasn't the focal point of the curriculum. And yeah that tracks my experience on math and science too; i didn't really learn anything beyond arithmetic and basic algebra/trig that was worth knowing until college outside of maybe a few times in AP classes. probably if i hadn't learned any of it at all in college I wouldn't have been much worse off though?
But it's probably necessary that I was doing something to train my brain how to learn things during the first 13 years of school. I kinda think education through high school is kinda like this xkcd on a broader scale:
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I would believe that none of the base facts that you learn in school are retained very well, and it's concerning when people talk like it's a load-bearing element of society that people remember how their government works or what happened in history, because I think the vast majority of people don't remember any of that well enough for it to matter. We need to figure out another way to solve that problem.
And so the focus should be on teaching you those "wastebasket" skills through some method or other, in a sense that goal of the curriculum is functioning as designed I guess in the same way that texting helps you become a better writer and playing with baseballs would make you a better baseball player even if you're not playing baseball.
But being exposed to books that are enjoyable and worth reading and going through the motions of analyzing them would ideally make you read more books and also apply those same skills to visual art and movies. If you come away from that experience absolutely loathing the very idea of analyzing a piece of media then it's hard to argue that it was worth it even if it does teach you other base skills. I guess it's a bit like A Mathematician's Apology but for litcrit; if we're making you hate the thing itself in the process of giving you those other skills, we ought to figure out how to do it better.
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castlebyersafterdark · 2 days ago
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yeah, i've got to come along and say that people who complain will is a crybaby confuse me. on the one hand, sometimes we find people to be wet lettuces and they give us the ick, but will just doesnt have that energy. he was established as a certified badass in s1 when he survived. all of his crying is very self-repressed rather than expressive and whiny. there arent really any flappy sobby characters in the show. and anyway, i enjoy seeing people all emotional and loose lmao. the more crying the better for characters who are genuinely going through it. its hard to explain, i just remember two moments from s1 when i had a feeling that will was this mysterious iconic tough little nugget packaged up like a crybaby. one of them was during the scene where they pull him from the lake and mike goes off on one. i was like... something is crack a lacking here but we probs won't find out for years what it is
and now we areeeee
its all so exciting and i love love love that my little hunch turned out to be because mike and will are in love and the whole story is kind of an ode to their love for each other in a way.
Viscerally hating the phrase wet lettuce tbh, wow that's an ick right there hahaha but I think that is an apt image for the point you've made. And that is so not Will!! Sure, he cries, and he's an emotional guy - but he's not a cartoon! He's not bursting into tears or openly weeping and whining or pitching a tantrum over things. He's emotional! I think some hate any man showing raw emotion that's not anger. As an emotional guy who's not afraid to show his emotions and yes, sometimes cries when other men wouldn't (and has been subject to bullying and being made fun of for it of course 🙄) I really appreciate the portrayal we have from Will.
I think sometimes people see Will as literally an anime character and over-exaggerate everything about him. Hear me out!! I just think a lot of people watch this show in cliches and they're not absorbing it and they get very surface level characterizations and they're fans, yes, but superficial fans? Content mill fans? The ones who've seen the show and get the references and basic plot and know most character names and they might watch some bland, uninspired "analyzing the mysteries of Stranger Things explained" etc. Youtube video essay style segments, but then those are just someone being overly critical as they loosely describe the plot of the show while making the same basic comments that every vapid person types under social media posts about the show. YALL KNOW THIS VIBE, RIGHT? Those are the same people calling Will a crybaby.
So he cried a decent amount when he was getting possessed? Or cried in frustration and total emotional destruction after the rain fight - that was a turning point (and the point I think where he dually realized he could never go back, none of them could go back, and also he wasn't like the others - the person he loved was an impossibility and him finally admitting to himself how he felt for Mike, which in that moment was gutting. ANYWAY!). And he cried when he confessed his deepest secret veiled under the guise of another person's false feelings. So he tears up under stress or fear etc. He's been through some shit, man! Give the guy some grace. And Mike cries too! We just haven't seen it much in recent seasons. Also, taking this opportunity to point out that after the failed mission to find a replacement for the DnD game in episode 1 of season 5 - Mike was totally crying a little as they sat outside the school on the wall. Rarely brought up. My poor guy 🥲
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highfantasy-soul · 8 months ago
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Re: Netflix's live-action Avatar the Last Airbender
I was 12 when the animated series started airing.
I caught episodes as they came on Nickelodeon, but I didn’t watch it religiously start-to-finish. I caught episodes when they happened to be on and I happened to be watching TV (I was NOT part of the generation that had unlimited access to shows - tv/computer/video game time was strictly monitored in my household) so there were some episodes I saw over and over again, and others I never did see.
I think it was around middle/high school (honestly can't remember - it was one of the two) that the show got put on Netflix and I started watching it from the beginning with my brother and some friends. Needless to say, I've been a die-hard fan ever since.
I think the animated show is incredibly well done and the storytelling is super on-point for what I love in media. Zuko's redemption arc is still the best arc I've ever seen, and the character growth is amazing.
I had never really fallen into the 'it's not perfect, but…' way of analyzing media, so I never dwelt too much on its flaws - I'd much rather focus on the things it got right as literally every piece of media has flaws and things that could be changed to make it better.
So yeah, hyperbolically, the animated version of ATLA is 'perfect' - but since people insist on anything that's not perfect being drug through the mud and hyperbolically being called 'garbage', I guess I have to dredge up the things I didn't care so much for in the animated version while analyzing how the live-action handled it (or avoided handling it).
I was super excited for the film adaptation - again, announced while I was in high school. I was looking forward to it so much - then, well, we know what happened there.
Things were changed that didn't make sense to change (the pronunciation of character names, the 'test' for figuring out who the Avatar is, the poor bending where movements didn't align to what was happening with the CGI, casting of white people when the characters were always meant to be indigenous and all asian ethnicities, among other issues people have made many essays about)
So, when this was first announced, I was SKEPTICAL.
While the trailer looked good, it seemed very safe - I recognized everything in it and it looked well made, but like, that doesn't mean the whole thing will be good - or justify its existence.
I tried to ignore any 'leaks' or interview quotes because those are always misconstrued so much and people hear one sentence and create a massive narrative in their head about what that sentence means and usually, all their bellyaching assumptions they made from that piece of info is just a non-issue once the show actually comes out.
I didn't give any credence to people screaming about "Sokka isn't going to be sexist anymore?? It's ruined!!" or "They're going for a Game of Thrones tone?? They don't understand Avatar at all!!" or "No side-quests?? They don't understand the point of the show!!"
First off, invoking the demon that is Game of Thrones is just a marketing tactic - that's all it is: MARKETING!! Just like EVERY YA book for years was 'The new Hunger Games' now it's 'The new Game of Thrones' even when the story at hand is NOTHING AT ALL LIKE THOSE THINGS!! It's literally, let me cradle your face gently in my hands, JUST a marketing ploy to get you to see a recent title you DO recognize and have (assumedly) heard good things about (ie popular) so that you then pick up the thing that they slapped that name onto.
Creators rarely have say in what their creation is likened to, they're told by marketing companies to go with it (if they're told anything at all) and they just say "yes, marketing team I have no control over, whatever you say".
Also, a passing comment in an interview is off-the cuff and when someone makes a comment like that, people read WAY too far into it and it's usually not nearly as deep as people make it out to be. That's why I just wait for the actual thing to come out and just watch it and judge it based on what it is, not some narrative someone else has created for it based on half a quote from some random interview.
So going into this: why the live-action adaptation? Why was it necessary?
In my opinion, the answer to this question is the thing many fans hate the most: altering the original story.
A beat-for-beat remake isn't necessary - the original is right there, so in order to 'earn' the right for this adaptation to exist, that necessitates changes to be made that add to the themes, deepen the lore, and delve into different aspects of the world in ways a child's cartoon can't.
So, I'm looking for not a 1-1 remake, but rather an adaptation that enhances the themes, irons out some uneven characterization/pacing, updates the story just enough to really get what they want to across, and delve more directly into some of the harsher aspects of the war.
I have always felt that Iroh's involvement in the Fire Nation military was glossed over a lot in the cartoon - I suspect because he's supposed to be a good guy and we can't have our good guys be overtly war criminals responsible for the deaths of thousands of people.
The effects of hard decisions made during war are shown in the animation, but the decision making process itself is rarely talked about until the very end with the gaang's struggle to keep helping people while also knowing where to focus their energy and Aang's struggle finding a way to stop the firelord without killing him.
something this adaptation can do is actually show the people making the decisions - and directly talking about the horrible effects of it. I'll get to it later, but that's one of the major themes in Episode 4 that I'll talk more on then.
Especially in Book 1, like many first books/seasons, the worldbuilding isn't fully fleshed out and the themes that really come to fruition later aren't as tight as they could be at the beginning. If the adaptation can go ahead and seed/tighten the themes that become big deals later on here at the beginning, it will 'justify' it's existence as the story retold after the whole story has already been plotted out.
Just like with the Percy Jackson and Wheel of Time adaptation, those writing for the show have the benefit of knowing how the story ends and all the stuff that's added to the world building as time goes on that wasn't necessarily known by the authors when they wrote and published the first books - the benefit of hindsight allows the show's script to take into consideration these additions and seed them early on to make the story more cohesive and reinforce themes.
So, this analysis is going to be long and filled with minute details, beat by beat for the episodes.
I have seen so many takes that I just sit and scratch my head at and think 'that was so obvious in the show - how did you miss/misinterpret that thing so wildly?' that I guess what I took for granted as obvious in the show, others didn't, so here's me being pedantic and over-explaining everything so maybe others can see that 1) they aren't the only ones who saw this interpretation and 2) maybe others will see the scenes a different way
Still trying to decide how to break up the analysis as the episode recaps are going to be LONG and since people now demand to see all the citations for stuff, the character analysis posts will be long too as I pull direct scenes to show why I feel the way I do.
I don't want to overload the posts and make it so they're just annoying to read, so I'll probably break them up into the sections of the episodes and maybe break up the character posts.
[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]
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a-bombyx-mori · 29 days ago
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poking around on spotify earlier and saw that ghost hit 1 mil monthly listeners,,, holy shit!! and their work has been a constant in my life for about 7 years now holy fuck.
gets me thinking about their impact and stuff. still have mixed emotions about everything because they sure did get good and bad attention while they were online. it's gotta be satisfying to see so many people enjoy your art and music and for them to even pay for it. then there's all the problems that come with any fanbase or online presence in general. and I've been here a while so here's just a few things that stand out to me about. everything? things I've thought about a bit?
(this became a long reflection ramble thing whoops.)
I've never really had other songs or writing at all describe the weird mental shit I've been through. yep, it's probably dumb, but ghost and pals songs helped me identity my problems. they became a source of catharsis when I was in fucking middle school and still are to this day. hell, evolve was the first thing that got me thinking I had been in a horrible relationship (along with twisted love ofc). aoapp was a reflection of my anxious attachment for a long time. I wouldn't have been able to make personal progress the past few years without analyzing songs too much.
and don't get me started on their drawings,, their artstyle has always been so charming in its own way. for a long time I tried to emulate their techniques so I could be an artist too. AND THEIR PV EDITING?? mgnghfh full course meal. I still set stills as backgrounds every so often. the fucking colorbars picture was my email background for years until google decided to stop loading it sometime last year.
I still admire them so much.
but there's also things they did that feel off. like I'll never get over how the new chattering was supposed to be a joke. you can't go and make a polished banger showing off your improvement and then say "yeah lol I only did this cause my friend joked about doing it so I said bet." or smth along those lines. (ghost said they remade it cause creep-p joked about it. in a tweet I think? gotta find it.) at that point, it also becomes a slight against your fans. you can't act like everything you make is (essentially) worthless without unintentionally shaming those who enjoy it. it's like that one mirror reflection picture thing.
the whole deletion of specific songs/most of their old discography is also it's own complex beast. ideally, an artist should be in control of when their art is displayed, but you give up that agency when using the internet. hell, there's mirrors of my old Instagram pages, and I'm nowhere near ghost's notoriety. thats the nature of the internet. shit is saved and copied and reuploaded all the time. the only way you can prevent that is by not uploading it at all or going through copyright law/terms of use/etc.
when I first started listening to ghost, they had their old work in an unlisted playlist. cool. then another channel I believe? then later on there was no official way of getting them so ofc people reuploaded them. was that the best thing to do? nope. but people enjoy their old songs and wanted access to them. and not everyone has a local back-up of music cause they're afraid it'll become inaccessible lost media.
them deleting most of their music vids is similar. this happened around like 2018ish? people started reuploading their current songs because. guess what. they weren't officially avaliable. people were thanking translators and such who had the pvs on their channel because they had access to it again. I believe something like this happened a second time but I don't remember for sure.
THIS DOESN'T EXCUSE ANY OF THE PATREON LEAKS BTW. those were paywalled benefits so that's a fundamental breach of privacy (and site rules, I'm p sure).
also less serious thing but they set up a premiere at the end of 2019 for a new song or whatever and it turned out to be a fucking joke too. just like a dr phil picture or smth. only upset at that cause back then I'd get the biggest fucking adrenaline rush whenever they were about to release something. then again I was also depressed as hell so that's an old me problem imo.
there's probably other drama or whatever I'm completely forgetting about, but probably for the better. in the end it's all about the art we're here for in the first place, and the artist behind it. I hope they're doing well after detaching from social media.
uh. long essay thing over now. I think
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lil-gae-disaster · 6 months ago
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"I care about your mental health" until.
I grow self-conscious
I can only joke about my trauma
I can't love my parents like I'm supposed to
I grow attached to easily
I can't believe I'm lovable and everyone will turn out to hate me
My screentime is way too high
I have no personality because I don't know who I am outside of social settings
I prioritize theater over school
I'm falling into a hole of self-loathing
I can't display empathy like I'm supposed to
I cannot trust you from the first moment
I overthink
I get lost in media or history to avoid my life
I express my need to disappear
I wish I don't exist
I wanna make a difference in this world and will be remembered because this is the only way I know I will matter
I can't believe that I am liked.
I don't trust middle aged women
I don't trust adults
I leave out my childhood from my tales
I casually talk about the things done to me
I hesitate with moving a step further
I don't confess my love because i think I'm unlovable to them
I loose myself and reality in songs
I talk too much
I talk too little
I can't empathize with others
I can't empathize how people Don't know something.
I chase after my old friends because there is nothing worse for me than to be left behind
I subconsciously analyze the people around me
I wear the hoodie from my ex because he's the only one who really made me feel loved even with how broken our relationship was
I grow silent when scolded or yelled at
I get attached to my male teachers in a paternal way
I'm too self aware that therapy cant help anymore
I talk like an adult
I skipped the cringe 14 y/o phase
I constantly put myself behind
I can't stand media that depicts drug/excessive and unhealthy alcohol consumption even in popular media
I feel uncomfortable watching sex scenes
I don't care for myself
I just want to never have excited in the first place
I want to change unchangeable facts about myself (me beinf trans/german/queer/nd/etc) because of the negative attention I'm getting on- and offline because of that
I cry to "cringe" songs
I am the sun for others but lack a sun myself so I'm slowly burning down while giving others what they need because it's the ultimate form of love as I've learned
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loregoddess · 7 months ago
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2, 3, 8, and 19 for the fandom game, for any fandom(s) you feel like talking about :)
(for 3, fic and/or meta posts, can't actually remember if you've posted straight up fic before haha)
2. My favorite fic from the fandom that I’ve read
I haven't read a ton of fic sadly (although I haven't read a lot in general the last few years due to college making me read So Many academic papers and books that I got burnt out and haven't quite recovered my love of reading. Yet). Although, my friend @lookerdewitt has written literally some of the best fic I have ever read, so I would probably say one of their fics.
3. My favorite fic from the fandom that I’ve written myself
I have actually sort of written fanfic (both legit fanfic, and also a few "thinly veiled technically fanfic if you changed the names" for a fiction writing class that I had to write several stories for and wanted to see if I could get away with it), but I haven't actually. Shared those fics with anyone? Partly bc I have historically almost never finished any fiction writing project that I have started, ever, and partly bc I'm just shy about sharing my writing in general.
I have been working on a LoZ fancomic idea for the past uhhhh four or five years (technically last decade since I first came up with the idea in late high school and then had it sit in the back of my head for several years bc all I had was a setting and a handful of characters), and I have never in my life stuck with a project this long, so I guess that would be my favorite from my personal works bc it's apparently something I care about enough to not abandon entirely. I've actually made a decent amount of progress on my "detailed outline" recently, so here's hoping I can stick it out and actually get to the script and then to drawing pages one day.
For meta posts I think my favorite is actually my analysis of the Octopath 1 cast and how the major antagonists in each of their stories acts as a mirror and foil to each character. I really enjoy analyzing stories in general, but I so rarely write it out, so I was happy to actually do so for once. Gave me a lot of confidence for all the other meta and headcanon posts that I wrote afterwards.
There's also a Legend of Dragoon meta post sitting partly-finished in my drafts where I analyze themes surrounding each dragoon spirit and its wielders, which I haven't finished bc I only remember to work on it when I'm doing my yearly replay of LoD, and also bc it started looking like it might need to be a series of posts due to uh....length. Like I make a lot of lengthy posts, but each dragoon spirit's analysis was about a short essay's worth of words, and there are eight spirits soooo....hopefully I'll finish that one day, bc it's an analysis I've spent years thinking about.
8. Is there anything I wish people would write more about in fics? (A dynamic, an exploration of an arc, just a character that doesn’t get much screentime, etc)
I'm always a sucker for post-canon healing/recovery/rebuilding arcs. Can't get enough of them honestly (when I have the motivation to read). There's something so fascinating about looking at a character who Went Through Some Stuff, but the main narrative didn't look at the effects of that, and so a dedicated writer took up the challenge of trying to explore what comes after.
Most of my favorite characters are weird side characters who don't get a lot of love from the writers of canon or fans, so I'm always glad to see stuff for them as well.
19. Favorite headcanon
Oh hmmm, there's a lot and it depends on which media we're talking about, so if you're curious about a specific game let me know. Off the top of my head though hmm...
Okay I have this headcanon that Milo TriStrat snorts when she laughs genuinely. Like sure she's got the ladylike proper, cute laugh that's part of her spy job and totally fake, but when she is being fully honest and laughing for real, she snorts.
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annah-kitathryne · 8 months ago
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6 and 17 for the ask game :]
6. What are dome of the best and worst parts about being online/ a creator?
Some of the best parts are the communities I have found myself in. The friends that I have made, and the safe spaces that have been made. Honestly, it was access to so many different ideas and opinions that allowed me to find out some of who I am. Some of the worst parts are that it really has only been recently that people are truly concerned about children being online. Sure, there were computers that were the devil and ads back when I was really small, but it's only recently that people talk about just how bad online spaces were even a couple of years ago. Not that it's gotten truely better, but more people talk about it and take it seriously.
Best parts about being a creator? It's how I can create whatever I want. It's how my brain makes an idea, and I can do whatever I want with it. It's how I'm able to share it with so many different people. However, some of the worst parts is because of online spaces can become a sort of telephone. A game of misinformation about media and characters and warp spaces into unrecognizable things. It makes it hard to engage when you know just how much has been changed.
17. Name 3 things that make you happy.
1. Reading. Reading was the first window into something bigger than me. Books for the longest time were the only consistent escape from the confinement of right in front of me. I love reading for fun, but I also love reading to analyze what I'm being shown. Is it good? Is it bad? What's being presented to me? Does it have an agenda? I love reading a pass time but also as a goal to understand.
2. I actually really like teaching people. Giving someone new information or ways to get new information or challenge the information they have. It's also teaching me. How I consume and learn isn't the same as others. How can I find a way to present the information I have in a way that someone else understands. I was part of a buddy system at my first school where, from 4th to 8th grade, I spent an hour with the kindergartebers and helped them with different things. Reading, math, art, sometimes we would be asked to give a lesson. I taught a couple of different kindergarten classes on different bugs, how to use water color paints, and organized a story time. I could never see myself as a full-time teacher, though.
3. Friends. I didn't exactly have people lining up to be my friend for the majority of my life, and I have only recently met people both IRL and online that I like to call friends. Friends push me to try new things and get out of my comfort zone, and provide the sort of net I need if something goes wrong. I've gotten a bit more confrontational as I've made friends because I trust that someone will be behind me or reach out a hand to help me back up. In a way, friends have allowed me to be a bit more of myself. Along the same path, I would do anything for my friends. I would go up to bat for them or try to find a way to help even if I can't do much. I try to remain present in people's lives so that they can have someone to rely on. [Even if I need to be poked every once in a while to remember to message back.]
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siriuslytproblem28 · 8 months ago
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upon finishing past lives
okay, so, as the final credits of past lives showed upon my laptop at around 4AM last night, i felt a giant urge to simply sit and write. i didn't do it right then, deciding to let the feelings and thoughts simmer for a while longer. then, i decided to read the reviews on letterboxd and came across a beautiful story. i went to bed promising myself to go back to what i wanted to write, so as not to lose momentum which is a very big motivator for me. otherwise, i'd simply let the moment slip and this is most definetely not something i wanted to happen with this beautiful piece of media.
i was opening my notes app rn and then decided to write here, for some reason. i've often been feeling the need to share some of my experiences with narrative fiction here, since i started with posting only about jegulus fics, but ended up talking about a movie or whatever. since no one reads here, it's basically my journal and my archive. i have terrible memory so i love to have all kinds of records and archives for things that moved me.
after this enormous introduction, let's talk about past lives.
i had such huge expectations after seeing one of the people in whose opinion i trust the most having loved it, and the general vibe i felt seeing the promo pics and the poster (i just don't like watching trailers for movies), that as i pressed play i was afraid it might turn to disappointment. what i wasn't expecting was the extent it actually surppassed the meeting of them, becoming most definetely my favorite movie i watched for the award season (very late in the game, i know).
something about it felt so familiar and yet so intriguing, i loved the pacing and the dialog. but especially the subtext. i've seen some reviews talking about how much they felt a lack of connection on a deeper, personal level, and my experience watching it could not have been more different.
not all parts of it clicked immediatey with me, i've later read reviews from people who immigrated to the US and realized i totally missed some details about this particular aspect, being a brazillian who never left Brazil. Though i think that, as a latina, there are some cultural aspects that i could absolutely relate to, probabbly from the perspective of a non north american and that was really interesting.
i don't wanna dwell much on the technicalities of the movie, though i believe it so beautifully shot and placed, i loved how much the scenarios add to every frame that appears on screen, the meaningfullness of the backgrounds that add to the subtext. Which is exactly the point i want to dwell on: the subtext. For me, it's one of the strongest aspects of the movie. Unfortunately, i haven't had the best experience on watching to analyze the writing properly, since i watched it via the jack sparrow way (it's not available in brazil ok) and the portuguese subs were kind of botched. Still, the content of every single conversation and it's weight was not lost on me. Though sometimes simple, it was always majestically written (and obviously i can detail better my opinions the english parts, the language i do, in fact understand without needing translation) and powerful.
i've had multiple experiences in my life with people that seem to come and go, but when i take a closer look i come to realize they have never really left. so i connected to the story sooo much, i even dreamt about of of my biggest crushes in middle school, and my first love, who i spent my whole adolescence loving and still is one of my best friends.
timing and the passing thereof, has always been a complicated thing for me to deal with. i remember writing about changes and my loathing of them from a very young age. now, in my early adult life, i find myself seeking those narratives more than i did as a kid. still kinda fearing the absence they'll leave inside me, but also yearning for the reflections they might bring.
i was around 12 years old when i watched boyhood. it was probabbly one of the first movies to ever cause me a hint of an existencial crisis. not in a way you'd expect, though. not in a "omg i need to get a career and wtf am i doing", but in a sense of how it portrayed relationships, the passing of time, etc etc.
as i grew older, focusing on the past 3 years, then came normal people and just this last january, before sunrise.
I re-read np in late 2023 as i felt the need to, when i realized i was falling really in love for the first time ever since my first love, which had a hold on me for almost 7 years (and i'm 20, that's a lot haha). i found that, somehow, it had meant even more to me the second time around.
january, this year, i caved in and watched before sunrise. i also had super high expectations but nothing could ever prepare me for what i received. it became one of my favourite movies ever, and it spoke to parts of me that i had either left uncared for.
to me, past lives came and fed that specific part. all of these pieces of media i spoke a lot on, they talk to and help me understand a feeling i've had in my heart ever since i can remember.
i always had a fascination with something i've come up with, to explain basically the foundation of everything i love, in art, in myself, in life, "the unsaid".
my definition of it, is that the unsaid lies within the dialog, the text, the spoken word, the writing itself. in media and in life. it's like subtext, but maybe even deeper. it's the look you give to your best friend across the room. it's the goodbye that gets trapped inside your throat the last time you talk to someone. it's the touch that never reaches itself out. it's the i love you you don't dare to let slip. it's the look you give someone when you stopped kissing them to just look at them. it's how your eyes light up whenever you see one of your favorite persons in the world. it's when you stop in your tracks in the middle of a party and gaze at your friends, and realize that life can be, in deed, beautiful, and how lucky you are. it also kinda relates to frances ha definition of what she looks for in a relationship, that really stuck with me.
i live for the unsaid. either be it in the art i consumme, or how i experience it in my life. it's what makes existing worth anything, personally. as past lives dialogs sm with this notion. all the scenes where hae sung and nora don't say a word to each other, their look speak millions. that reminded me of one of my favourite scenes from before sunrise, the famous booth scene. in all of the above, i sat unsable to shake a small laughter, or maybe a sly tear, in response to the volume of what was being communicated there.
i consider myself really lucky with the people i have in my life and this movie spoke to this, too. i have a childhood best friend who remains close to me, a sister, really, for over 10 years. i have another childhood friend, who was my first big crush and baby love i ever had, who i used to think i was gonna marry and have children with, to the extent i have drawings of it, still be my best friend to this day. i have friend since middle school, who i fell deeply in love with at the tender age of 13 and who remained my muse very well util my 19th year of being alive, and she was my first girlfriend, the first girl i kissed, and remains my best friend. i've also been lucky to experience such a short but beautifully loving experience with a close friend i made in college, in the latter part of 2023. i haven't really gotten over him, but it's fine, cause ever since watching before sunrise, i realized i had multiple - and i can't believe i'm refferencing tfios in the year of the lord, 2024 - infinities with. though i had grieved what seems to be the ending of our never named, never labelled, situationship, and i still feel a lot of things for him, i've become gratefull for having experience such interesting and soul touching things with him. for opening myself up for it. for admiting my feelings to him. for the leap of faith i took, even if i ended up stranded or hit by rocks at the bottom of the cliff. i'm grateful it happened, even if i still cry about it and have written many songs for him. no matter how long it'll take me to get "over" him, i'll live. and i'm happy it happened. he's become one of my favorite people in this life and this is something i don't say lightly and don't take for granted.
i think to me, the "meaning of life", is to collect this feelings and experiences that turn you into the person you are at the moment. i have no idea of who i'd be without all my influences. i've written mysel, but i was only able to, with the refferences and quotes of every friend i had, every person i loved, everyone who became my family or stopped being it. maybe it's my cancer moon and venus. but i'm really nothing more than a mosaic, a reflection of every single person present in my life (real or parassocial), a collection of words, spoken or not.
and yeah, i barelly spoke directly on past lives, but it's what i always tend to do anyways. i'm not here to make a detailed runthrough, analysis over the cinematography and the script, i might be an acting major but i lack the knowledge (or maybe just doubt i do). but this is, still, my journal, to track my experiences and thoughts. so that's what i did. and i don't think, at least right now, that this movie can really fit into aything i could try to say.
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karamina · 5 months ago
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Legend of Wolf Mountain (1992)
As someone who posts a good portion of content for obscure media, I wanted to share a movie that I watched as a child and remember fondly, and give a review for it from my perspective as an adult viewer.
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Plot:
I will try to be as vague as possible to avoid spoilers, but this section provides context for the review.
Our story begins with us meeting our protagonist Kerrie, as her father presents about nature and the nearby Wolf Mountain National Park at a school assembly. After a confrontation between her and another boy, Karrie and the "bully" Casey, as well as another boy that got drug into the confrontation, John, are driven home from an after-school meeting with the principal. On the way home, two escaped convicts jack the car without realizing that the kids were in the backseat.
One of the convicts convinces the other to let the kids go inside Wolf Mountain rather than killing them on the spot, but the kids sabotage the road for when the convicts will have to come back around the loop to exit the park.
Thus ensues a cat and mouse chase as the criminals pursue the kids through the wilderness with intent to kill them, while the cops and park rangers desperately try to track down and rescue the kids and bring the convicts back into custody. Throughout all this, Kerrie develops a relationship with the Native American spirit protecting the national park, who provides aid to the kids through instructions and warnings that only she can hear.
Discussion:
So this is a movie that I love to hate.
The dialogue is kind of bad at certain portions of the movie, and I spent half of the movie shouting at the screen for the convicts to do as Duane (one of the escaped convicts) keeps saying: forget hunting down and killing the kids and just hike to the road and escape to Mexico FOR GOODNESS SAKE, and the other half shouting at the kids on screen to quit engaging (even indirectly) the antagonists and just find a way down the mountain to safety.
The movie is also a product of it's time, as a fair warning. Casey gets picked on a lot, not only by other characters, but also his role in the plot for being overweight like every five minutes (and I wouldn't even say that he's overweight????).
In addition, I think it would've been really cool if the movie actually made reference to real native american mythos and legends (I couldn't find anything about a Simcoe anywhere online, and I don't know enough about native culture to speak much on this aspect of the movie and the movie doesn't specify what part of America it takes place in (though it might be somewhere in or near California due to a UCLA jersey?) so with my limited knowledge about the topic I couldn't tell what tribe they are referencing if any, even if I were to try to analyze Simcoe's dress. I'd be curious if someone more knowledgeable than me could speak on it.).
The plot is also kind of a kid's movie cliche in being a "kid(s) get kidnapped and stumble into active crime and through shenanagins manage to save the day". What sets this particular film apart is the stakes and how the characters manage them. Not only is there the 'Man vs Man' element with the criminals actively threatening and trying to kill the protagonists, but also a huge element of "Man vs Nature". Due to the kids being kidnapped straight from school and then dumped in the middle of the woods, they have no hiking/survival gear and no food and are forced to try to survive for a couple of days there, which is why they make the stupid decision partway through the movie to steal the criminals' bag which they know has food in it.
The protagonists also fit the plot. Kerrie, of course being the daughter of a park ranger, supplies the group with information about navigating and using the environment to their advantage, including picking out edible plants. John, the son of a police officer and a cub scout, thwarts the criminals by stealing the magazine from their gun and then later picking up the gun and turning the tides in the final scuffle, as well as aiding with setting up traps and providing medical care. Casey definitely could have been better handled, but he did get himself and the other kids out of the car after the main antagonist begins to talk of "punching their tickets".
Speaking of antagonists, while cliche, they do their job well. The main villian, Jocko Painter, is stereotypically hellbent on leaving no witnesses and not taking no for an answer. His partner, Duane Bixby, while on the bumbly side, juxtaposes him very well with a strong moral compass to have mercy on the unfortunate kids and to take the logical move of high-tailing it out of the country.
The humor is pretty hit or miss. A lot of the jokes are actually really funny ("What do you want me to do? Buy them some burgers and fries?!"), but some of the jokes are just repetitive, especially with the jokes about Casey being out of shape.
Finally, the spiritual stuff. Honestly, this movie could have done entirely without the pseudo-Native American subplot (which is unfortunately likely to be inaccurate to the culture of western tribes. Please, someone who is in the know, watch the movie and share your perspective, especially in what was bad representation, I would be ecstatic to hear it!), but I understand why it is there. The movie's theme is that nature is to be respected and that good will come to those who protect and live in harmony with it. However, they could have easily expressed this notion in a different way if they didn't want to take the time to do research on Native American myths and legends and then accurately portray them, but I digress.
Conclusion:
3/5
Despite it's glaring flaws, this is quite an enjoyable movie that despite being targeted for children can entertain adults as well through the dark subject matter. In fact, every few years or so I remember this movie's existence and I have to rewatch it. The full movie is available on YouTube if you are interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlVRK3kP6-Y.
They should totally make an updated version that pays tribute to established Native tribes and their legends, features better dialogue, and better characterizes the villians and Casey. They should emphasize the natural setting and how it can work both for and against the characters. In my opinion, a remake should also up the wilderness survival stakes, perhaps by adding in bad weather or utilizing John's broken wrist as a hinderance in maybe overcoming some physically demanding obstacle or task that requires dexterity.
Edit: Additional Notes regarding the movie that I learned of since I wrote this review
Simcoe is played by Don Shanks, who is of Cherokee and Illini descent
The sticker on the school car door reads "Piute School Disctrict", which is located in central Utah. The Paiute tribe (comprised of the Cedar, Indian Peaks, Kanosh, Koosharem, and Shivwits bands) has reservation land located in Southwestern Utah, although historically the tribe was nomadic. You can learn more about the tribe by visiting their website: https://pitu.gov/
The Paiute creation story tells of the God Esa who can take on the form of a wolf or a man, much like Simcoe in the movie; you can learn more about Esa here: https://www.native-languages.org/esa.htm
The location is further confirmed by Duane, when he states that they are using the national park to connect US I-89 to US I-15, which wouldn't you know it, cross paths in Central Utah.
There is no such Wolf Mountain National Park in Utah, but there is one in Ottowa, Canada
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inkher0 · 2 years ago
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How'd you learn to write??? Not only are you a talented artist but a talented writer too. Is there any wisdom you can pass onto us anons?
First of all, ❤️❤️❤️
Second, I had an amazing teacher in college that helped me learn how to build worlds and push myself to go above and beyond in everything I do. He also taught me how to accept criticism- to swallow my pride, accept the critique, and work with it in mind.
Third, I'm really passionate about the things I make. I care so much about my projects, it's devastating if they don't succeed how I want. But I've also learned that if I give the absolute best I can, then others will care too. Even if only one person loves your work, then that means someone has thought to themselves, "I really love that this was made."
Fourth, I did a lot of work. I paid attention in English Classes, even the early ones in Grade School. Trust me, I use stuff I learned in 3rd grade every day. I actively expand my vocabulary. If I'm writing about a culture or historical moment, I read a lot about it. I take notes on what it was like to experience it more than just what happened.
That's another thing- use imaginative thinking. If you were there, what would you remember? What does it smell like? How is everyone dressed? What are they doing? What colors do you see? How do you feel- scared, happy? What are some little details you might happen to catch on accident? Just by writing the answers to those questions down, you have literally written three or four paragraphs describing an entire world. Ask those same questions about your characters, too. Make them feel like any one of them could have been the main character, and give them lives outside of your story that your reader may never see. If you're balancing it right, then your reader will see their story unfolding right next to the protagonist's- even if the protagonist doesn't notice it themselves.
Also, obvious, but like. Read a lot. Listen to lots of music. Watch movies- Cartoons, popcorn flicks, and films. Get into media from other countries. Enjoy the classics. Analyze how they're constructing the narrative- what are they trying to tell you, and how are they doing it. Take the things you like and put it in a 'lil basket, and shamelessly rip them off.
Oh, one last thing- Don't be afraid to be cringe. The only difference between "cringe" and "based" is execution. When it comes to media in general, people love sincerity and a job well-done. If it's well-done but not sincere, it's Avatar. If it's sincere but not well done, it's Labrynth.
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daddyd0nt · 2 months ago
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I chose the merchant of venice as my favorite from the list (I loved the movie version) but as a girl with all the daddy issues King Lear was always my favorite. I can't believe the taming of the shrew which is full of IPV and gaslighting and abuse and misogyny and rape normalization played for comedy I can't believe that scored higher than "Bound 30 year old Jeremy Irons whimpering as he prepares to have a chunk carved out of his torso" on the whump website. Actually the more i think about it Titus Andronicus is probably my favorite Im very in favor of cannibalizing rapists and the movie kicked ass but also I think I remember learning it was based on some older story like some greek myth or something with the same plot (Girl raped and limbs replaced with tree limbs and her rapists killed and then fed to their shitty parents ending in a bloodbath) so IDK if it counts as an original play or just an adaptation. Also I don't really like henry v but the scene where he turns on Flagstaff gets me a little emotional. I kind of consider romeo and juliet and macbeth childrens media because those are the ones you read in public school but I remember liking them.
I hated Shakespeare until I had this one really good professor who loved my analysis of things so he forgave that I never turned in papers on time and had atrocious attendance (one of my essays on how Passage To India upheld rape culture he even had published in the school literary magazine because he liked it so much). I struggled with the density of the language so usually Id read the sparknotes and then read the chapter but he was just such a great professor who cared about quality more than deadlines and was really nice about letting me read on my phone bc the light made it easier to focus than looking at the pages in the textbook and as soon as I explained it to him he was like "oh thats so interesting, I find the light distracting, do you think thats generational or because you are autistic?" but let me use my phone in class without a note and accepted that 2-3 times during the class I would have to leave the room and walk around outside for 5 or so minutes because not being allowed to leave a room has given me panic attacks since childhood and when I explained that to him he was okay with it and just asked that I sit by the door so I don't cause a disruption coming in or out and he let me go home from class when I had a panic attack over the gaslighting scene in Taming Of A Shrew and he loved my work and always gave me great feedback so I always wanted to write good thought provoking essays for him (my best from that class was probably the essay where I analyzed King Lear as the child of a father with NPD and like barely quoted the play it was all medical text and he told me he'd never been so emotionally impacted by an essay on that play even though its the play every girl with Daddy issues writes their paper on). But the difference a good professor can make, I went in hating even the idea of Shakespeare and left with multiple favorite plays.
MORE PRECISE POLLS:
Comedies
Tragedies
Histories
Please say why you chose, I'm interested and please share for bigger sample
P.s: I chose to do this poll cuz after r&j, hamlet, macbeth and midsummer's night's dream, I didnt study any of the others.
I was curious to see which one I should read first (as I want to expand my reading and I'm getting shakespeares works for christmas which I wanted after I went to see Tom Holland's r&j which blew me away and made appreciate shakey a lot more)
I'm sorry I failed you 'much ado about nothing' fans 😭
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mybookplacenet · 2 months ago
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Featured Author Interview: Janice Rostron
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Tell us about yourself.: I am a Professional Organizer and the owner/operator of Just Focus and Reorganize, LLC (JFR). I started playing guitar as a shy, introverted 12-year-old. In my late twenties, I tackled my stage fright and joined a band. I have since played shows throughout California and have recorded two full-length albums and one EP (during which time I earned the moniker “Janice F'n Reid” a.k.a. “JFR”). I received a BA in Legal Studies (with a minor in Music) from UC Berkeley and have since joined the Cal Alumni Association. GO BEARS! I then earned an MEd and a Multiple Subject teaching credential from UCLA. I worked as a public elementary school teacher for eight years before deciding to pursue a career in Professional Organizing. I am an active member of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals (NAPO). I have earned NAPO Specialist Certificates in Workplace Productivity and Team Productivity. I served as the Los Angeles chapter’s Treasurer for the 2016–2017 term. I was the leader of NAPO’s Environmentally-Conscious Organizers special interest group for the 2020–2023 terms. I am also a subscriber to the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD) and have earned a Level II Chronic Disorganization Specialist Certificate. I love working one-on-one with my clients and enjoy speaking to groups about organization and productivity. In 2022, I moved to Denver to grow the business … and purchase my first home. Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?: I grew up in Littlerock, CA which is a small, desert town in Southern California. I am not sure how this influenced my writing. Back then, I wrote dark, angsty poetry but that had more to do with adolescence than where I grew up. Now, my writing is much more positive and action-focused. Do you have any unusual writing habits? I am not sure if it is unusual, but I can only write in the afternoon. What authors have influenced you? I grew up in Littlerock, CA which is a small, desert town in Southern California. I am not sure how this influenced my writing. Back then, I wrote dark, angsty poetry but that had more to do with adolescence than where I grew up. Now, my writing is much more positive and action-focused. Do you have any advice for new authors? Don't get overwhelmed by how much there is to do to write, publish, and market a book. Decide what the next step is and schedule it into your calendar. Focus on one action item at a time. What is the best advice you have ever been given? You can't do it all! What are you reading now? Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg Julia by Sandra Newman What's your biggest weakness? Over-analyzing What is your favorite book of all time? Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll When you're not writing, how do you like to spend your time? I still play guitar when I can and enjoy going to rock, punk, and metal shows. I love food and am always looking for the next restaurant to try. I like taking walks around town and going for hikes. Do you remember the first story you ever read, and the impact it had on you? I was an avid reader and made frequent trips to the library so I am not sure I can remember the first story I ever read. However, I LOVED reading Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman and The Monster at the End of This Book by Jon Stone. Even though I knew everything worked out in the end, but I really enjoyed taking the journey with them. What has inspired you and your writing style? My teaching experience has inspired my writing style. I am striving to simplify everything and make even the more complex, overwhelming things in life understandable and actionable. What are you working on now? Since my first book came out a little over a month ago, I am working on promoting that right now. What is your favorite method for promoting your work? My favorite methods for promoting my work is through social media and speaking to groups about the productivity systems in my book. What's next for you as a writer? Although I am not ready to start on another writing project, I would love to write a book about how to be environmentally-conscious when you are decluttering and organizing your home. How well do you work under pressure? I am definitely not working at my best under pressure. I would much rather finish early than work up the last second of a deadline. How do you decide what tone to use with a particular piece of writing? I write self-help/how-to so I use my tone which is to-the-point with occasional wry humor. If you could share one thing with your fans, what would that be? Simplify everything! Janice Rostron's Author Websites and Profiles Website Amazon Profile Goodreads Profile Janice Rostron's Social Media Links Facebook Page Instagram LinkedIn Read the full article
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sophie-andthestars · 1 year ago
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so i think we all collectively agree that our creativity is based on all the things we love(d) throughout our life, right?
i can’t sleep, so i decided to go over all the games, animations, movies and books i loved dearly in my life and kind of analyze what i liked about them and how i can incorporate it in my own art (like personal symbols or smth, there’s a great episode of creative ted talks podcast on it!)
and i realized that i can’t remember A LOT. what was i watching on tv before i found out about anime? i read three books a week when i was in the middle school, but i can’t remember any of those? what movie that i saw as a kid had me hooked for months?
i do not remember and have a zero chance to find out :’)
and the thing is, i also do not have much of memories about my childhood. not even in bits and pieces, not in the flashes or snapshots. probably just few things that my mom and grandma repeatedly told me - like when one of my friends who was 2 years older than me believed that number 111 does not exist, but I knew it for sure even before we started counting over 100 in my school or smth. i was so proud of it but never became good at math
back to the topic. most of Me started in the middle school. and here’s where i can remember some things i loved, mostly because a lot of stuff from that time still were around when i graduated high school and entered university. i still had disks of my favorite games, books that i read, some dvds with the anime that my uncle-nerd gave me.
and this should’ve been enough, but i know there’s more to me. i feel the me-that-i-forgot has more connection to current me than that teenager that read ryu murakami without supervision - at the tender age of 13-14?? traumatizing.
i wonder who was my favorite before i felt the need to be mature? i’d probably love them still if i remembered
and i wonder how my art would be if i remembered all those things? what my ocs would be? right now they are wizards and knights, yes, and my favorite pieces of media are howl’s moving castle (both book and the movie), but maybe they’d be even more interesting to me myself if i knew my roots?
idk man that’s a hard thought process for 4 in the morning
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