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secret-rendezvous1d · 4 years ago

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“Don’t die on me - please.”

hello, hi!

found a new bloke to crush on during lockdown, can’t stop watching him on the telly, can’t stop my imagination from running wild with creative writing ideas so here i am. i thought i’d try something new out and step away, to something that is a little different to what and who i’d normally write about. i know it’s not about harry and it’s something much more different to what i usually write about but, if you could give it a chance, feedback would be lovely and much appreciated.

as said previously, this is just a one-off for now and it’s a little tester to see if it is something that goes down well on here and if it does well, then, we’ll see where it lands me afterwards. it could be a fluke moment that won’t happen again or it could be something i carry on. this will help me determine that.

thank you. enjoy.

“don’t die on me - please” spencer reid x female reader (reader insert imagine) word count; 2.4k.

* if you haven’t watched criminal minds then this does contain some spoilers to the show that you may want to dodge if you are thinking of starting the series up. *

summary; after spencer’s kidnap, yn gets worried easily when saying goodbye to him before a case.

YN hated every moment of saying goodbye to Spencer before he took off for a case.

She knew he could protect himself in tough situations and she knew he could always talk his way out of unknown whereabouts and unnecessary yet scary confrontations, she knew that he had a strong enough team around him that could protect him and themselves when they were vulnerable, she knew had a wonderful mind that could save him when needed to be saved and she knew that he would be back by her side before she knew it because he was clever enough to see right through specifics in a case. Right back by her side to sleep next to her in bed, to eat dinner with her at their dining table, to read to her before bed, to bring a coffee to her desk when she was up to her eyeballs in report cases and to kiss her when she needed a brief escape from a case so difficult to comprehend. Just like he always promised her, with a kiss to her forehead and a squeeze to her hips, and a kiss that lingered and left her lips tingling.

So when he approached her before the wheels of the jet were due up, with a cup of her favourite vanilla latte from the kitchenette’s coffee machine (which was a coffee that she had gotten most of the ladies - and Hotch, even thought he liked to deny it - to enjoy in the mornings) and a sheepish smile on his face with a quick explanation practiced in his head that had her know he was on a different kind of case this day, her mind went into overdrive and her heart almost pumped from her chest. What she made out, from his string of rushed words, a serial arsonist turned serial killer had requested a meeting with two agents of the FBI and Hotch had asked him to be his second aid in the case.

Why did Hotch ask Spencer?

She didn’t want to ask because she didn’t think she would cope with the reason as to why her sweet and innocent boyfriend had been asked to attend an interview with someone who killed women for a kick in their life. She liked to think it was because he was brave when it came to asking the right question, even if it got a worse reaction from the criminal than expected. If he was behind bars that meant he’d been caught but if he’d been caught then it meant he’d done something bad and he wasn’t just an unsub like a usual case but it meant he was away from the streets. However, she knew it wasn’t as carefree and as simple as that and, even though she probably made it sound ten times worse in her head, it was never going to be a smooth enough problem for him.

“I know this sounds like a bad idea to you-”

“A bad idea? Jesus, Spencer, you’re not that far away from being locked in a room with a serial killer. A sadistic, vile, disgusting serial killer.”

“I know, I know. But Hotch asked me, specifically, to be his second agent on this and-”

“I guess he needs your calm brains in these situations,” it was almost like she completed his sentence for him. It was a collective effort to come to a conclusion but he was the brains in the cases he worked on; calm, collected and he had an eidetic memory that helped in more situations than anticipated. “Are you sure you can cope with this? Like, are you sure you’re sure about this?”

“YN, I’ll be fine. I’ve been in much worse situations. Need I remind you of Tobias...”

“Don’t, I try to forget about that.”

She remembered the day of Spencer’s kidnap like it was yesterday.

It was still incredibly fresh on her mind, every moment of the day so vivid in her memory and she didn’t think it would ever go away, no matter how many times she attempted to ignore the dreams and the nightmares that followed suit. Like it was a tattoo permanently etched onto her brain, and even though she tried to push it to the back of her mind and tried to change her thought pattern whenever something brought back the memories, it never seemed to disappear. A strong enough trauma in her life that had her petrified of the possibility of reliving it, someday.

When she saw the rest of the team enter the unit before she packed up her things, with no Spencer following behind and spewing fact after fact on a team that had already endured a plane ride with the same facts being said, her stomach filled with dread.

Nothing but pure dread.

She knew something was off and she didn’t need to look at their panicked faces to know that. He didn’t disappear to go grab some food from the local café down the road because a text would have come through to tell her he wanted to meet her, he wouldn’t have taken the chance to run home to grab something because he would have come back to the unit to take her with him, and there was no possible way he would have stayed behind wherever they had travelled to because… well, that just wasn’t him; if he stayed behind, someone stayed with him and she’d have been informed so she could sleep at night and not worry about him.

“I’m not going to get-” He started his sentence with a little humour to his voice but it came to a halt when he saw the light disappear from behind in her eyes, the usual sweetened look behind her orbs disappearing and he couldn’t deal with her mind going there again. His hands holding hers tightly, fingers locking with hers, “I’m not going to let that happen to me again. I promise it won’t ever happen again.”

“How can you promise me that? Because this job, Spencer, this job scares me and it scares me how I could see you one morning and kiss you when we wake up and then say goodbye and never see you again after that,” she said softly, her words disappearing into the material covering his collarbone, fingers leaving his grip so she could easily wrap her arms around his waist. Cologne sneaking up her nose; her favourite scent to smell. Something she smelt in the morning after he got dressed for the day, something she could smell lingering in the air whenever he passed her desk or took a walk to the kitchenette for a coffee, something that she memorised by heart and liked to think about when he was a distance away. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you in this spot and have that be our last ever goodbye.”

The job came with consequences and, sometimes, they were never good.

The bad side of the job made you question why you stayed around but the good side, well, the good side always made you realise just why you stuck around and kept the job you had.

“It won’t be,” he cooed quietly, “baby, there won’t ever be a last goodbye between us.”

“How can you be so sure?”

His hands held her shoulders tightly and he took a slight step away so he could look properly at her, caring eyes meeting worried eyes, a curved smile from him being enough to have a sigh of relief escape her parted lips.

“Because that team out there behind us, my team and your best friends and our colleagues, we protect each other and we do what we think is right when protecting others. We have each other’s backs and we always look out for one another so we won’t ever be saying a last goodbye to one another because of them,” and, by God, was Spencer right. They hadn’t ever given her a reason to feel like he was unsafe in the field and that he was in danger with every case they worked on away from Virginia and across multiple borders in the neighbouring countries. They kept him safe, they kept her safe and they kept themselves safe and that was enough to get her through the hours she knew Spencer was out there. “I promise you.”

“I know,” she said, reaching back for his waist like a baby reaching for his mother, wanting nothing but the comfort of his body and the scent of his warming cologne surrounding her, “I know, Spence. I just, God, I sit here all day with reports and cases and running to and from the coroner’s office downstairs and all I can hear is Garcia on the phone to you all and it sounds horrible and stressful and chaotic and all my mind can do is run laps with the worst outcomes possible.”

She loved having an office adjoining Garcia's… granted, it was the smallest room in the unit and it only consisted of a table and a chair and an extra chair for when she had meetings (both professional meetings and when Spencer struck it okay to pop in for a catch-up chat and a cheeky kiss when no-one was look) and, heck, the door had no reason to be there with the number of times they were seen chatting, through the door frame and from their desks, over cups of coffee whilst working on computers and checking papers at the same time. Her best friend was a mere three steps away, who was there at the click of a finger when she needed something looked up, who was there to keep her updated with a case that she didn’t need to know about if she wasn’t working on it like everyone else. She loved the flirtatious banter she had with Morgan whenever he rang her number and she loved the awkward flirtatious accidents she had when it came to anyone other than Derek who called her for facts on a victim or an unsub. There was never a dull moment that lingered in the unit and if there was, Garcia always made sure to brighten the space up.

But, in the deepest quarter of her mind, she hated it. The windows gave her the chance to see the distressed look on her face whenever Morgan or Prentiss or JJ called up for a fact on a possible unsub they’ve struck upon, the door wasn’t the thickest door to muffle her voice when she panicked and stumbled upon something she wished she never saw and the blinds never fully hide away what her screens showed so they never stopped YN from imagining what she could have possibly been researching and entering a code for.

“Even when I’m sitting in a room with the family of the victim and asking for run names to be run through the system?” He teased. She leant against the top of her desk, careful not to knock the wooden furniture so hard that her coffee dribbled down the sides of her mug and created a ring-mark on the oak, hands dropping from his waist, palms holding her weight as she dropped them to her sides and become dependent on them. “I panic you when I’m just sitting looking through paper, I see.”

“Shut up.”

He chuckled softly and cupped her face in his hands, squishing her cheeks together between his palms to exaggerate the pout on her lips a little more prominently, a grin lacing his features together into a cheeky expression. Slowly, his head edged forward, lips parted and his tongue took the opportunity to dampen his mouth before the inevitable goodbye kiss came along, breath fanning her face as she cupped his elbows and brought him closer. One peck on the left cheek, one peck to the other cheek, one peck to her forehead… that’s how the goodbyes started. Ending with the most perfect, elongated, tongues-included kiss that always had her wanting more.

Except a knock on her office door interrupted the kiss they were just about to endure, a disgruntled pout on her lips and a grumble escaping his mouth, because it really was the worst timing possible. The blinds, which had done their job in keeping them from the eyes of their agent friends as they said their goodbyes to one another but hadn’t don’t so well in disguising where Reid had disappeared off too quickly after the morning briefing, hiding whoever was standing on the other side. And all she wanted, all he wanted, was a little intimacy before they split for the day.

“Reid, wheels up soon. We need to leave,” Hotch said, opening the door up enough so he could poke his head into the room, ‘just to check he had the right room’ he would say, “hello, agent YLN.”

“Good morning, agent Hotchner.”

The awkward greetings were enough for him to disappear and close the door behind him, taunts and teases coming from Morgan on the other side of the door as they realised he’d walked in on a rather intimate moment, enough to make Spencer’s cheeks blush.

“Right, I will be back tonight. That’s a promise. We’ll get Chinese food in as soon as we get back to the apartment, we’ll get wine in and drink the whole bottle and we’ll have a night in together because it’s been too long,” Spencer said, a nod from her signifying she was more than okay with an at-home date night with him. The goodbye kiss, which he initiated as soon as Hotch left the room, was shortened and left her wanting so much more than just the peck on the lips and with that be all - and, he didn’t need the assurance from her that their date night would lead to something much better than Chinese food. “I love you.”

“Don’t die on me today,” she murmured against his mouth, pressing one final kiss to his pink lips and pulling away from him, “Reid, I mean it. Don’t die on me- please?”

He reached behind her and grabbed his FBI credentials from her desk, where he’d placed his essentials upon entering the room, hanging it around his neck. His jacket draped over her chair in the office, because it was something he let her wear around the unit because she was never given one to wear unless she was in active duty and on a case with them, and he always loved to the see the smile it brought to her face when she got to feel the fabric on her skin. Like a varsity captain and his girlfriend wearing his jacket.

“I promise you, I will not die today,” he said, grabbing his gun and his holster and attaching it to his belt, “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later, Boy Wonder.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid x reader insert imagines #spencer reid x reader insert fic #criminal minds imagines #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gublar imagines #matthew gray gubler x reader insert imagines #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x yn imagines #spencer reid x yn fics #matthew gray gubler x yn fics #matthew gray gubler x yn imagines

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writeblrfantasy · 4 years ago

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So! I may or may not have just finished editing pawns? I realize I didn’t tell you guys but last friday I finished the first draft and today I am officially done editing! I’m beyond proud of myself for finishing this, and to celebrate, here is the first chapter of pawns, in Isos’ point of view! I will still be posting excerpts because there’s more of this wip I want to share, but ahh thank you all so much for your interest in this project! it’s meant the world to me and these characters are some of my favorites i’ve ever written <3

taglist: @magic-is-something-we-create @kespada @forgottenrevelation @tmifangirl24 @a-place-of-babble @myhusbandsasemni

transcription under the cut because things are blurry when they shouldn’t be

I had always known a day like this would come. It was only a matter of when.

I changed masters often, more often than any other slaves. I was somewhat famous to the slaveholding lords of the slaveholding country Cera, and I had never stayed with a master for more than a year since I was five.

The least I had ever stayed with a master was a day. He’d taken me, his new prize, to show off to the lord he was dining with that evening. While my master was out of the room, his host restrained me and covered my mouth, lest I did not obey his order to comply. He snuck me away and killed my master when he came looking for me in a rage.

I was so desired partly because I could read, partly because I had a way with other slaves. I could rally them to me or put them in their place as surely as masters could. I’d never known why, but they listened to me.

So when one day my current master told me, “You’re going to become Lord Tohnicar’s tomorrow,” I thought nothing of the change, or even that it was to Lord Tohnicar. If I thought to flatter myself, which I did, he had heard of my reputation and wanted me for himself. Just like every other rich slaveholder in the country. It seemed inevitable that I would catch the eye of someone like him.

What I thought of was Lord Tohnicar himself. If I were anyone else, I would have pled and begged to be spared that torture. Even if I had known I would someday end up at Lord Tohnicar’s estate of Essely, I had not allowed myself to truly think upon it. My master even looked a little sorry as he told me, though this was almost definitely because of his loss versus mine. My ego was not so big as to assume he cared about what Tohnicar would do to me.

Lord Tohnicar was notoriously hard to please. He had high standards for his slaves, and if they didn’t make the cut, he threw them out. He deemed them not worth selling. To throw out a slave as such…I shuddered at the thought. Some thought he was too stupid to realize he was freeing them, but even if that were true, me and many others knew it would be a disgrace to have such a cloud over your head. Not even good enough to be sold.

You would be insulted and fought in every bar, free or not. You would be forced, eventually, to flee across the border to Morland, where slavery was illegal and they looked down on slaveholders with great distaste. Morland was far from perfect, but to some slaves the thought of it was paradise. I was not one of them.

Tohnicar was Moorish, but he’d come to Cera out of nowhere a few years prior. He’d entered the Ceran fold just when the old lord of the Essely estate died in his sleep. Tohnicar pounced on the auction for the estate and won it by a margin. Some said he’d won it with his Moorish queen’s money. His win had angered Ceran lords greatly, because to own that seaside estate was to control the everlasting tensions and wars between Cera and Morland. The estate itself was humble, but it sat on the coast of the Esselian sea, and its borders stretched far down the coast.

Morland was perpetually angry that they had to go the long way around to the sea, since Cera prohibited them from taking the shortcut through to the gulf. Morland had invaded Cera many times throughout the centuries to take the access they wanted and needed for trade from other continents, but Cera had always driven them out. The owner of Essely had the perfect view and the perfect power to restrict the limited access Morland had even further, or they could choose to open it up, ensuring something resembling peace between the two countries, though that wouldn’t likely stick unless Cera got rid of their slaveholders.

Despite the man who owned it, I’d always been excited and curious about seeing Essely in person. I tried to hang on to any positivity I could on the horseback ride there, with nothing but the clothes on my back and the small worn journal tucked inside my thin clothes.

Tohnicar had the money to buy and dispose of slaves as he liked, like they were nothing more than momentary amusements to him. The slaveholders throughout Cera feared him too much to refuse him their slaves when he demanded them. He fit in so well with the savagery of the Cerans, I found it hard to believe he was not one. Moorish were known for being stiff, prudish, and cold, not hot tempered and bloodthirsty like the Cerans they hated. I didn’t let myself think about my dark fate too much, because I could change nothing about it.

I wondered what my duties would be. I was not a troublemaking slave. I did not have a bad record. I was too free-thinking and curious for my own good, I knew that, but I was obedient. I was fortunate not to work in the fields. Each master I had usually put me there a day or two until they watched me faint from the sun. At first the master would think I was faking, and I would never deny these claims. Then he would call in his physician. A weakness of the blood, they would all say. I was not faking.

I learned that this weakness was a gift. I would look forward to the day my new master would decide to put me in the house, as he always did. I would watch the emotions flicker across his face, anger, annoyance, a moment’s cruelty, and finally rueful acceptance, then he would sigh and yank me inside. No man needed a house slave nearly as much as he needed a field slave, which was why I was always quick to prove my usefulness indoors.

I was not like the men in the fields in any way, tall and muscular and calloused from years of grueling work. Skinny, weak blooded me was happy to watch them from the windows while I did my master’s chores, showed his guests in and tended to them, offered to read to his children when he complained of his distaste to do so himself.

When I offered to read to them, he would accept suspiciously and watch from the doorway the first night I did so. If the children had a favorite book, I would read that. If all they wanted was a simple tale or story, I would tell one of the many I’d learned and overheard and read about in my life.

That first night, I would pick a story that was safe for my master’s suspicious ears, something about noble children trumping slaves. Sometimes a useful lesson. But once the master trusted me indefinitely and stopped coming to watch, I’d tell them the stories I preferred, personal favorites I would never let any master hear. Those were some of my best memories. I would tell them not to tell their father about those stories, and most of the time they were young enough not to know why I wasn’t supposed to be telling them those stories. To them I was just the nice man who told them bedtime stories. I’d never gotten caught yet.

Tohnicar had no children, and when we arrived, I was not sent to the fields. I barely had time to take in the tall house perched on top of the rocky cliff with the sound of the ocean crashing down on the beach and the rocks beyond. I had only served one master with a seaside estate before, when I was too young to remember much of it.

Tohnicar met me and my escort at the gates guarding the house. I hadn’t thought much about what he’d look like, but it wasn’t this. He looked younger than any master I’d had before, not much older than me. Certainly barely old enough to be considering marriage, let alone children. Yet his blue-green eyes showed age beyond his young face. My eyes were drawn to the dark hair that favored most Mor, the silver revolver that sat in a holster on his right hip, the thin white shirt unbuttoned at the top to let the summer breeze in, the ugly scowl on his face.

A few slaves watched from the fields, but no guards accompanied Tohnicar. He growled a word at my old master, something like thanks. His took my arm in a vice grip. I thought his fingers would leave bruises, but I also thought bruises would be the least of my worries in my time with him compared to the emotional toll.

He paid my master with a fist full of gold that made my eyes widen, still with his grip tight on my arm. My master pocketed the money, never looking directly at him.

I allowed myself but a glance back at my old master, who grimaced as my new master took me inside the gates and shut them behind us. He locked the heavy padlock with an iron key he kept around his neck under his shirt. I noted this for the future.

“Get back to work,” he snarled in Ceran, and I looked up at the slaves scattered around the tiny yard. They were all holding trowels, hoes, shovels, tending to the pretty garden around the house. He repeated the order when they continued to stare at me. I was surprised he hadn’t forced the slaves to learn Moorish for his convenience. He led me inside the house and the slaves got back to work. I looked at them as we passed, searching for bruises and other signs of abuse, but I saw nothing mottling their skin except the slave’s tattoo on their left forearms.

My new master dragged me to the top of his winding and tall wooden house. I was not given much time to get my bearings, but I knew I would explore later. He pulled open a door and finally let me go. He sat down in a chair beside a window with a breathtaking view of the sea. When I looked at him, the evil snarl had left his face, replaced by a pleasant smile. I blinked, wondering if I was seeing the same person.

He appeared not to have a care in the world, and obviously found my confusion amusing. “Isos, answer one question for me, and then you can have the choice of your complete freedom, I promise you.” His eyes glittered. This was clearly a joke, a test meant to humiliate me. I pitied any slave who fell for it.

My mind began running through the potential questions he might ask and all the ways I would answer wrong. There was no way for me to win here. “What are your feelings about Morland?” he asked.

This, naturally, made me hesitate. He was Moorish. One wrong word and that pleasant smile would be gone. I chose my words carefully. “I think, from what I’ve heard, Master, that Morland is a lovely place.”

“No, no, not what I want,” he said, waving. He looked disappointed, which sent panic spiking in my gut. I was already imagining dark basements from which the screams of the slaves floated up and kept you awake. Or perhaps I would be whipped in the yard, made an example of.

“I want you to tell me how you truly feel. Unbiased. Don’t worry about offending me, you’re not going to. Pretend as if you’re speaking to an equal. One of your friends.”

I barely kept from snorting.

Have it his way, then.

“I have little knowledge about the true lifestyle of the Moorish,” I said with a shrug, “but being a Mor sounds better than being a slave. If the rumors are true, prudes in stiff collars are better than masters with whips.”

He stared at me for a moment, speechless. In the silence that followed, I imagined my death over and over again.

“That’s better,” he finally said. “Thank you.” He ran a hand over his young and beardless face. Pleasant surprise flashed in his eyes. I allowed myself to study him now that the threats of torture and death were temporarily eased. He was tall, taller than me by a head, and the warmth of his eyes was totally different from any master I’d had before. He was, I had to admit, handsome. But those thoughts led nowhere good. I put a stern stop to them.

“Most of my new men don’t understand the words, ‘you won’t offend me,’” he said. “I can hardly blame them, but it’s refreshing to have one who obeys.” He smiled in irony, but the cogs in my brain were turning furiously, hurrying to adjust, to decipher his words. Was this a hidden command to submit? Was the smile fake? By goddess Rhouth, how had I let myself think it was real? I couldn’t afford to let my guard down at the first sign of a real smile. That wasn’t how I’d stayed alive for twenty years.

“I am exactly as I seem now,” said he, as if reading my mind. The way he looked into my eyes certainly suggested he could. “You do not have to fear me. Though these words, as well, generally fall on deaf ears. I’m afraid my reputation cannot be helped, and I’m sorry for all you’ve heard about me and probably worried about.” He sighed, then brightened. “But I knew you would be different. You have a reputation as much as I do.” He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms, and eyed me.

I held perfectly still, betraying nothing on my face.

He smiled. “You are cautious, too. And observant. And, smart, I can tell. Good. Now, I offer you a choice. You can either leave with your complete freedom and a pouch of gold, or you can stay with me as my equal.”

“As you wish, Master,” I said before I could stop myself. To my amazement, he just laughed.

“You have a week to decide,” he said. “Spend time with my other men, see what you think, what they tell you. See how you like the barracks. Should you stay with me, your job will be easy, and I will be a kind master. I swear on my queen. And you, along with all my others, will be taken into the fold of something...” He paused. “Special. I’m sorry to say I can’t tell you what it is.

“Should you choose to leave, that pouch of gold will get you anywhere you wish to go, but your memories of this conversation, and your time with me, will be erased. In their places, I will be painted in a crueler light.” He tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “A necessary evil. You will believe that I, disgusted with you, have cast you out to fend for yourself. If anyone asks, you’ll say you stole the gold before I disposed of you, because who in the world would believe that I gave it willingly?”

He was right. I was instantly intrigued by him, despite the rational side of me whispering I shouldn’t be. But he said I had a week. A week to quiet the excited, curious thrumming of my heart, and listen to the conclusion my brain had already reached: only a slave who had a death wish took freedom from kind, conspiring masters who promised to include you in something ‘special.’

He stood to shoo me towards the door. The little room was cramped with the both of us at our full height and the furniture. Through our entire conversation, he had never left his chair. I realized with a jolt it was so I wouldn’t be intimidated by his height.

“Go be with the others, Isos,” he said with a smile. He said my name with a little flair, like he liked how it sounded in his mouth. Eye-soese. My other masters, on the rare occasions they’d remember my name or bother to use it, would spit it out like bile, usually with rage smarting in their eyes. There was no rage in Tohnicar’s eyes. When he looked at me, his eyes lit up, the same way I had looked at wildflowers in my first master’s garden until I learned that it was not wise to stop my work and smell the flowers where he could see.

“I look forward to your decision.” Tohnicar winked, and closed the door after me.

#excerpt from my wip #my wip #my writing #writing #writeblr #fantasy writeblr #fantasy #my ocs #wip: ppap #oc: isos of cera #oc: chariton #bean's excerpts

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #306

i’m v talkative today so pardon my jabbering below.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I think I've had one of those lollipops with a bug in it before as a kid? I don't remember. What would be your most ideal profession? A freelance photographer. But I'm honestly starting to lose hope. Have you tried those coloring books for adults? Yeah; it's funny you mention 'em, 'cuz a family friend got me one for my birthday earlier this month. What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I don't like talking about my sexual history, doesn't matter who you are. It's just uncomfortable. What was your first gaming console? An Atari. Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* MAY NEEDS TO FUCKIN' HURRY. My tattoo appointment is set then. :''') Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout when I was young. What is something you're very passionate about? Nature conservation, gay rights (equal rights in general, really), the pro-choice movement, and then there are less "important" things like certain hobbies interests and such. I'm sure there are more big ones that are just slipping my mind right now, considering I feel passionately for a shitload of stuff. What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in Art & Design with a focus on Photography in college. But guess who dropped out. What was the last present you gave someone? I don't know... I mention enough that I don't have a source of income where I can really buy anything. I think the last thing I did was a Christmas gift for Mom a year or two back of a drawing I did of our late dog Cali, whom she absolutely adored. Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Not really, no. What was the last thing you achieved? PHP has helped me focus on little victories, so prepare for an underwhelming answer haha, but it's something. I Facebook messaged an old friend I really wanted to catch up with, and everyone in group cheered for me. :') It was really heartwarming. What a shocker that this program is really helping me once again. What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I would love love love to take at least one "famous" or award-winning photograph. It'd be such amazing validation that I'm talented at something I love so much. What is one philosophy you have regarding life/living/purpose? That's... difficult to answer seeing as I'm trying desperately to find my purpose. I do try to live by this old quote a therapist said once: "Deal with life, or life deals with you." I think it holds an incredible amount of depth and meaning in such a short phrase. How would you design the inside of your own home? I don't know the details of it, really, besides that shit is gonna look like a Halloween house year-round. I can imagine wanting black furniture, too, and having loooots of decor expressive of what I love and find comfort in. Gotta make a house feel like a home just for me. What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Backstreet Boys, duh. Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)? Two things: it depends on the topic, and "get mad" is the wrong term for what I feel. It's more disgust; ex., I'm repulsed by anti-gay rights people and want absolutely nothing to do with 'em, but I'm not like, mad at them. Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Oh yeah, and it definitely depends on the raw photograph. I edit depending on the mood it emanates; like if you've seen my roadkill photography versus nature shots, there is an extremely distinct difference in editing style and vibe. I'd say in general though, I tend to like to brighten my photographs and add more vibrance. If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? God, I could write an essay on this. I just love and am so thankful for the fact we can literally freeze time forever with the click of a button and look back on fantastic sights, beautiful moments, memories... It's just magical to me, and I adore contributing to that art. Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Well yeah, that's my preference, actually. What is your absolute favorite food? The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, jfc. Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? Fuck to the absolute hell no. What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Idk, considering I'm not well-versed in the artistic creations of other countries. Perhaps India? Japan? I dunno. If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I'm asking for his fucking autograph and a hug while I smile my face in two AND cry lmao. What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I ain't gonna bullshit nobody, my PTSD. In some way or another, he's lurking in that head of mine through memories, flashbacks, wonders of what could have gone differently... but thank God it's no longer in the forefront of my mind after my first PHP. I've come very, very far, but especially when trying to blank out my mind to fall asleep, parts of PTSD strangle my brain until I'm just finally out. I really hope that changes someday. Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Yikes, nowhere, really. I like to avoid busy locations. Do you think video games cause people to become violent? Absolutely not. You are responsible for the decisions you make; music, games, movies, etc. have no deciding voice in stupid shit you do, and it's bullshit that people blame art and entertainment for such things. Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? I'm unsure. Have you or could you build your own site? Absolutely not from scratch. The closest I've gotten to that is my photography website, but it was through the assistance of Wix. What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Scrambled eggs, haha. I do make some bomb eggs at least. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighborhood? No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. God, I want to go vegetarian again... Besides English, what other languages can you speak? I can speak a very little bit of German. Took four semesters of it in high school and became very good at it, but lack of practice has pretty much ruined that. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well; as in, I can pronounce most words I see, but that doesn't mean I understand what is written. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Gordon Ramsey would deadass kick me off his show on day one, lmao. What's your favorite kind of tea? It marvels me JUST how many tea and coffee questions are in surveys. Anyway, I don't like tea. I am an embarrassment to NC culture. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? lask;dfjal;wekrjwe What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? Stealing my happiness back from someone who had no right to hold it all in its entirety. That shit's mine. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? Most, probably, but in some ways I can understand it - at least, in the sense that with the assistance of modern technology and advancements in satiating our wants so quickly, kids just expect it. I definitely believe that patience is something to try to be deeply instilled in everyone, though. I don't have an ounce of it (in most situations) and wish I did. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? One of my favorite Southern experiences is finding a bunch of honeysuckles and tasting the honey (is it technically even honey??). Tastes amazing. My family's hairdresser lives down a beautiful path that sprouts a massive amount of them, and as kids, my sisters and her two boys would go tasting them while our parents talked for so long, or if we were waiting our turn. Good memories. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I'm not sure, really. What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? "Inappropriate humor type jokes." <<<< They can get me sometimes, too. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I don't believe so, no. Besides making a tye-dye one in HS with our school colors. Wasn't my idea and never wore it, haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? It depends on the person. If it's a friend, absolutely, because I love learning usually obscure things about them I wouldn't have known otherwise. If it's a user I don't know from wherever I got the survey, sometimes, depending on how short the answer is and my eyes kinda just scroll over it. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, especially mornings. I'm generally happier when there's light around. What's your highest level of education so far? Some college. Describe your ordinary day: My average day is embarrassingly uneventful. It's sitting on the laptop doing shit on various sites, none of which are actually important, and playing WoW, which is also without true substance, save for social interactions with my friends on there. I spray Venus' terrarium everyday multiple times as well to keep the humidity up, and obviously eat and handle that kinda bodily needs stuff. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Ugh, that'd be so dope. I've seen some awesome ones, but idk if I'd get one, considering when am I actually going to be under UV light?? Like I wanna be able to see my tat. What is the brand and color name of your favorite lipstick? I have one black lipstick, but it comes right off so I don't even like it. I only ever put it on to take pictures. What do you like on your tortilla? Just ham and cheese. How about inside your pita bread? I've never had pita bread, actually. What do you like in your burger? It depends on where I'm getting the burger. My basic is cheese, ketchup, mustard, a bit of mayo, pickles, and a light sprinkle of diced onion, but sometimes I add bacon and take away the onions. How about on your pizza? I have three I tend to pick from: pepperoni, jalapeno, or meat lovers. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone, definitely. Which body part would you not mind losing? I'ma be extremely honest, with just how horribly weak my legs are, I could live without them, I guess. Not saying I want to by any means, it's just exhausting using them. Ideally, I'd take away something minor, like a finger or something. What common saying people use is absolute BS to you? “'Everything happens for a reason.'” <<<< Fuckin' colossal "same." I won't rag on people who believe it, especially if it gives you courage to keep moving forward, but I don't believe it in the slightest. If it were so, I'd like to talk to whoever is in control of those "reasons," please. What is the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week? I had no idea elephants were pregnant for two years, like holy shit, can you imagine. It was in an article I saw on Facebook about a mother and daughter elephant who are both expecting and doing well. Wonderful to hear. What’s the most useless talent you have? Ha, I'm a master in the arts of catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions involving people hating me in one way or another. What’s something everyone looks stupid doing? I'm one of those people who hate dabbing done by anybody, like you look like you're just smelling your armpit. Which kids’ movie scarred you for life? I wouldn't say "scarred me for life" by any means, but when I was little, I was terrified of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz and even had nightmares about her. It sucked because my little sister was obsessed with that movie, haha. In one sentence, how would you sum up the Internet? A source of incredible knowledge but also hate and misinformation. What would be the most ridiculous thing for the government to make illegal? I literally dread the idea of Roe vs. Wade being reversed. Banning abortion would kill so many people with operational uteruses and cause absolute pandemonium. How many friends do you have on social media and how many of them do you know for real? On Facebook, I have 124 friends, and I'd say I know most of them "in real life." However, having been on the Internet since I was so young and befriending loads of incredible people, a good chunk are "online friends." Hell, I'm more interested in their lives than most "real" ones. Long-distance friendships are so valid. What fact amazes you every time you think of it? Lots of things, generally regarding the stupidity of humanity. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Probably going to the beach w/ my old friend Colleen. We had zero plans of doing it, but she just called me one morning and asked if I wanted to go, and off we went. It was a fun day. What has taken up too much of your life? I'ma be real, WoW. I don't think I'm addicted to it like I once was seeing as I go through spans where I barely want to play it at all and don't, so I truly am capable of not playing it, but rather it's just the most entertaining way to kill time in my life. I just don't like how much time I've invested into a game over six or seven years regardless. Where do you not mind waiting? Uh, nowhere lmao. Is there an app you hate to use, but still use every day? No; why would I use it if that was the case? Who is the funniest person you know? My friend Girt is fucking hysterical. What three words describe you best? Complex, passionate, and creative. What makes you think you’re smart? Lol who says I think I'm smart? Who inspires you? Korean Jesus. Okay on a serious note, not just him, of course, but he's #1 in an entire universe of ways. Do you aspire to be like somebody else? If so, who? No; I want to be my own authentic self. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Which one of your accomplishments are you the most proud of? I want to say my recovery, but like... I wonder a lot if it's "enough" to be proud of with how scarred I still am? I still struggle with a lot and feel like I could be so much better by now if I tried harder. If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's finishing high school in the top percentile of my graduating class. There was a ceremony for the handful of us and all, and I cherish my plaque probably too much. Reminds me of a time when I knew what the fuck I was doing. What's the strangest thing you ever did as a child? Thinking I had "animal powers" where I could invoke the traits of certain animals at will, like what the actual fuck, Brittany. What did your mother teach you? Christ, a lot. Dad didn't do a lot of the raising, honestly, so much of my core values and whatnot were instilled by my mother. She taught me to care for and be nice to others, respect myself, try my best in everything, and most importantly that she is always there for me and my sisters no matter what and can tell her absolutely anything. She was very serious about us going to college and saving sex for marriage when we were younger, but she diverged from those ideas as absolutely necessary with experience. I'm extremely lucky with who I call my mom, overall. What did your father teach you? Eek... Read above. Not a lot as a kid (save for riding a bike and playing softball); most he's taught me has come following reuniting with him after my parents' divorce. I remember we went to lunch once and talked about my breakup, and he talked to me about sometimes, you just have to let people go in order to be happy, like with him and Mom. He's very serious now about ensuring us girls know that he is always there for us and will help us in any way he's capable. What makes you feel powerful? "Powerful" isn't something I really feel, if I'm being real. What are you ready to let go? It would be inexplicably fantastic if I could let every speck of Jason go in both my head and heart. What is your most bizarre deal-breaker? I don't really find any of my expectations and limits as "bizarre?" They're all valid to me. Well wait, idk if you'd find it strange that I absofuckinglutely would not date someone who hunts, but it's not to me. That's a difference in a very serious value to me. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? Hated. God, I don't want to leave this earth having given just nothing. I can live with some people hating me for whatever reason. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve made? Accepting my bisexuality, probably. That's something that I consider pretty big for two reasons: 1.) I could end up with a woman forever, and especially 2.) I was originally homophobic. I still have difficulty in fathoming how I ever was. What are some of your short-term goals? PHP is finally starting to make me build these again. I want to get better at selfcare, draw, write, and read more, I want to drink a lot more water, exercise way more... Lots of things, really. What is the weirdest thing about you? Uh. I dunno. Probably that I RP meerkats, which is a very obscure RP niche for sure.

#survey #surveys #questions

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gayiconwaluigi · 5 years ago

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Tracking the dynamic between Argo and Fitzroy from ep 5-8.

Episode 5:

Argo: So, but—but what would be the first word? Fitzroy: Butter! Argo: Butter mine!!

Argo: What about “battle line?” Fitzroy: [gasps] Ooh. That‘s not really a phrase. Argo: Oh. I didn‘t know we were playing Wheel of Fortune. [laughs] Fantasy… Wheel…

Fitzroy: What, Slim Jims? Does anybody have Slim Jims? Argo: Maybe he wants to go to the gymnasium? He‘s hungry to work out and get ripped, maybe?

Fitzroy: Um, Ar—Argo? Can you take a— Argo: Mm-hmm? Fitzroy: Can you take a picture of the rift, and… Argo: I was just thinking that would be a good idea. I think somebody back at the ol‘ school might find that interesting.

Summary: Argo and Fitzroy are literally idiots, or Argo is only saying “Butter mine,” to make Fitzroy feel better about his bad guess. But when Argo makes a guess, Fitzroy mocks him even though Argo eventually figures it out. Argo also figures out how to get the Xorn back to his own elemental plane. This is definitely something Argo would’ve remembered for his interview with Althea--I mean, he intentionally took a picture to show the people back at school.

Episode 6:

Argo: We've still got pictures to develop off the glasses from, uh… a New Year‘s Eve party.

Fitzroy: I'd looove toooo. [sarcastically] Argo: Boy, you gotta get that cloak back.

Fitzroy: Um… anyway, I guess we should go tell the boys. Go start packing up our baby dorm and get ready to move up to the big leagues, huh?

Fitzroy: I've got… big news! Argo: What is—before you do, can I just say that I love how the three of us have like, come together? Y'know, life on the sea can be a solitary exi—no, that‘s a lie. It‘s not a solitary… in this case, to not be surrounded by so many other people, just a nice, tight-knit group of three… it‘s like we've become a… I don't know, dare I say it, a family. And I appreciate your friendship, and I appreciate you two. Fitzroy: Um… that was very— Argo: Go ahead. Go ahead, what were you gonna say, Fitz? Fitzroy: Uh… oh, I—it‘s not—y'know what? It can wait.

Argo: Yeah, I like that idea. But you're not… but we‘re our own bosses, right, Firbolg? I mean, is it—is that how this franchisin‘ works? I mean… he doesn‘t get to boss us—

Argo: Well… I… [sighs] Well, I'm—I'm not crazy about it, but… by god, if Firbolg here thinks it‘s a good idea, I don‘t—I mean, what are the options? I mean, that you guys leave, and… I… I mean… I stay? Doesn‘t that kind of break up the team?

Argo: Y'know, I think we need to go back to that lawyer. I think we need to go see that lawyer and get something written up, like a prenup or something, because… y'know, not—just because, y'know, we have so much mutual respect for each other. But I just—y'know, I just wonder about this… and I'm willin‘ to do it! I'm willin‘ to go in there. But… are you—y'know, I'd like it on a piece of paper that says, upon graduation, you will forfeit your portion of the… franchise company to me and the Firbolg. Fitzroy: Now, hold—this is— Argo: Well, you just said it‘s just to get you through the school! Right?

Fitzroy: Uh, get that for me, will you, Argo? Argo: What? You're not the—oh, I guess you are. Fitzroy: Yeeep. Argo: Alright…

Summary: Argo lies about what’s on the glasses, so he knows what’s happening is suspicious. Argo also comments on how uncharismatic Fitzroy is. I think it should be noted Argo suggests he and the Firbolg go and bond, but he doesn’t seek to spend one-on-one time with Fitzroy any other time throughout the remaining episodes. Fitzroy refers to the Firbolg and Argo as “the boys,” which is endearing. Argo continues to call Fitzroy “Fitz.” Unfortunately, Argo has just said something really nice and great, but nobody responds to it. Argo is worried that Fitzroy is going to have power over them. Argo really doesn’t want to be separated from Firbolg and Fitzroy. Fitzroy pretty much says he’s gonna go off and do his own thing after graduation, which obviously hurts Argo because he immediately says, “We need a prenup...” okay, buddy. Then Argo is really not enthusiastic about Fitzroy being the villain and them being the sidekicks.

Episode 7:

Griffin: Um… [sighs] I'm wondering if we've been trying to concoct some sort of harebrained scheme to catch the… interdimensional cat, to bring it with us to the new room. Um, I know that Argo is very afraid of it still, and I think I take a great deal of delight in that. So if we can continue that arrangement, even after we move on up, um, that would be very—that would be very good for me.

Argo: Why—why don‘t we go somewhere? Why don‘t we go out, y'know, to the… are there beaches?

Fitzroy: He thinks that I don‘t see him, but I sleep with my eyes open, and so, he appears in sort of my dreamscape. And he‘s not half lobster, so I know that he‘s part of like, the actual, tangible world. And he just always seems to be creepin‘. I'm wonderin‘ if Argo has, uh, taken a lover? Firbolg: Hmm. Or… no, yours is best. Clint: [laughs] Fitzroy: I don‘t want to pry, but I just find it somewhere curious. I thought we were… y'know… friends, at this point.

Griffin: And I scribble in the back of the uh, the Notebook of Farspeech. ―What‘s… what‘s up? Where you at? Love, Fitzroy.

Clint: ―Dear Fitzroy. “How R U?”And he wrote it, “how,” and then the letter R, and the letter U. Uh, “―I am fine. Running some errands. Getting tattoo finished up down at the Hedgehog Pin. See you back at the room. Friends for life, Argo Keene.” Griffin: ―”Sounds cool. Have a cool summer. Love Fitzroy.” Yeah, I don‘t feel the need to really… press him on—like, obviously, he‘s been sneaking out at night, but I have no reason to believe that it is… anything like, below board.

Summary: Fitzroy takes pleasure in scaring Argo. Argo wants them all to bond together. Fitzroy thinks Argo has “taken a lover” ??? He then proceeds to end both his messages to Argo with “Love, Fitzroy,” while Argo suggests they are now “Friends for Life.”

Episode 8:

Fitzroy: Uh, hey there, Argo. Uh, you've got some sort of like… y'know, supernatural thief sense, right? What‘s your gut telling you? Is this a trap? I don't know why I'm asking you this! It would be wild if it was. It‘s the front door to a place of healing. Argo: Pretty sure—yeah. Pretty sure that the imps wouldn‘t be able to put a lock on the outside. Now, if it were on the inside, maybe. But I mean, this… this seems pretty straightforward, for a change. I say we send the Firbolg up to unlock it.

Griffin: I don't know what I was doing, grabbing this bird. Like, I'm treating this like fuckin‘ Pokémon. Like, I'm not gonna catch this bird and use it later. Um, so, I'm going to… uh… I'm‘a gonna smash. I'm gonna—I think seeing Argo get so thoroughly dunked on, uh, just pushes me sort of into an instantaneous kind of rage mode. So, yeah. I go rage, and I'm‘a smash the bird that I am holding. But first, something silly‘s gonna happen.

Argo: Alright, well, I thought maybe you inherited some of these, or you got a—y'know, like it‘s a family magic or some shit. Fitzroy: It‘s all family magic. Here‘s an idea. And this is gonna sound… just super villainous. But… a controlled burn? ‗Cause I do know Fire Bolt now. We can burn this whole building down with all the imps inside it. Bada bing, bada boom. Listen, one of them just bit Argo so hard that he was nearly chopped in half. So like, I don‘t like our chances of clearing out all 20 rooms of this labyrinthine place of medicine. Argo: Except maybe that they want to use it as a hospital again someday? Fitzroy: Well, they should've thought of that before they let it get all filled up with imps and the like, shouldn‘t they have? Argo: Well, you're the boss villain. You tell us.

Argo: Y'know, he makes the Firbolg happy. Maybe we should just keep him around. Can we keep him? Fitzroy: This entourage already has an unconscionable number of pets. So, um… Clint: Well, then I stab him with my rapier.

Argo: And you did almost kill us. So…

Fitzroy: Sweet prince. You hate to see it. [choked up] We lost another one. Argo: Well, I thought you should‘a just stomped on it, but y'know, that‘s me.

Griffin: Hmm. Uhh… I—I nudge Argo, and do a little sneaky pantomime. And I point at the three birds, and I point at his sword, and I point— Travis: They are in imp form, by the way. Griffin: I point at the imps. Imps, birds, whatever. This dude stabs eyes. You got an eye? He‘ll stab it. I point at my eye, and then at them. And then his sword again.

Fitzroy: Yes, and in phenomenal form. But we've gotta work on our like… our formations!

Summary: Fitzroy trusts Argo’s rogue skills to help them out, and seeing Argo get hurt pushes him into a rage. Argo has started his investigation into Fitzroy’s past. Argo also defers to Fitzroy seeing as he is the villain although Argo absolutely knows Fitzroy is dumb as a box of rocks. Argo considers keeping the imp until Fitzroy says no. Fitzroy almost kills Firbolg and Argo with a dumb plan. Argo also questions Fitzroy’s unnecessary use of magic. Fitzroy tries to get Argo to do an attack, which the Firbolg does instead, and Fitzroy proclaims that they’re really not working together well.

#taz graduation #taz #sir fitzroy maplecourt #argonaut keene #maplekeene #fitzroy maplecourt #argo keene #i literally have no life guys

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larryfanficwriter98 · 4 years ago

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Chapter Ten

~Sorry for the long time between updates and the short chapter. My brother just had his wedding Saturday so I've been busy~

Louis laid on Harry's sleeping chest as he scrolled through Instagram. There were multiple photos of them together at SeaWorld from yesterday and he liked every post he came across. He had posted multiple posts this morning, one post was of multiple phots of them together at SeaWorld then another post was multiple pictures of Louis in his outfit by himself, one of Harry kissing Louis' cheek in the mirror, one of their dinner set up, and one of the screen as 50 First Dates played last night. Louis woke up an hour ago, Harry still sleeping peacefully so Louis didn't want to disturb him. He had tried to move. But Harry was a human cuddle, he was attached to Louis and moved with him so Louis resigned himself to laying in bed. Louis locked his phone and tossed it further down the bed then traced delicate designs on Harry’s chest.

" Freddy, my love

I miss you more than

words can say.

Freddy, my love

Please keep in touch

while you're away.

Hearing from you can

make the day

so much better

Getting a souvenir,

Or maybe a letter.

I really flipped over the

Gray cashmere sweater ."

Louis sang softly, he didn't notice when Harry woke up as he was too busy laying on Harry's chest with. His eyes were closed as he snuggled into Harry's neck.

" Freddy, my love.

Freddy, my love.

Freddy, you know

Your absence makes

Me feel so blue

That’s okay though

Your presents makes me

Think of you

My ma will have a heart attack

When she catches

Those peddle pushers with

The black leather patches

Oh, how I wish

I had a jacket

That matches

Freddy, my love.

Freddy, my love .

Don’t keep your

Letters from me,

I thrill to every line.

Your spellings

Kinda crummy

But, Honey so is mine.

I tressure every gifty,

The ring is really nifty,

You say, it cost you fifty,

So you're thrifty,

I don't mind.

Freddy, you'll see

You'll hold me

In your arms someday

And I will be holding

My bridal bouquet

Thinking about it

My heart's pounding already

Knowing when you come home,

We're bound to go steady

And throw your service pay

Around like confetti.

Freddy, my -" Louis stopped as he stared at the phone recording him and a very awake Harry who was grinning as he stared at the screen.

"Good morning." Harry said innocently as he stopped the video and looked at Louis.

"I hate you." Louis rolled over feeling Harry's arms tighten around his body with a grin. Harry cuddled up to his back with only the comforter between their bodies.

"Let's just lay in bed and cuddle some more and sing Grease all day."

"You have a concert today." Harry groaned miserably, "come on we have to get ready and you know it."

"Why can't we just cancel."

"You'll upset your fans."

"Fine." Louis laughed rolling on to his back as Harry the blanket off of his legs and climbed out of bed. Louis watched as he stretched, his once ironed shirt was horribly wrinkled and Louis winced at the messy knot in Harry's hair.

"Do you want me to help you with that?" Louis asked as he stared at the knot

"What?!" Harry asked looking shocked as he looked at Louis.

"Your hair is knotted in the back." Louis explained confused

"My- OH! Oh uh yeah sure. Come on. If I'm up then you're up too."

Louis climbed out of the bed and followed Harry upstairs to his bedroom. Louis sat on the edge of the bed as Harry went to gather hair supplies from the ensuite. Harry came back out with an armful of things and dropped everything on the bed.

"I didn't know how bad the knot is." Harry said sheepishly as he sat on the floor between Louis' knees with his back facing him.

"It's pretty bad, but I've untangled knots on plenty of heads in my lifetime. Five sisters if you recall." Louis told him as he gently worked the hair tie out, "so what is your schedule like after your tour ends?" Louis asked

"I'll be taking a break. Focusing on my family and seeing them. Spending time with you, turning social media off for a while as well."

"That's good. You okay?"

"Yeah just exhausted. I haven't really had a long break between albums and touring. I stayed in California and Orlando these past few years and haven't really been back home to stay in a while."

~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed in a blur of kisses, cuddles, Universal Studios, and Disney World parks. However soon it was everyone's last day in Orlando, the tour bus was at Harry's house and Harry was putting what would fit in his fridge in the bus fridge. Louis helped him pack his clothes for warmer weather in South America and also stole the occasional sweater or shirt. Harry also helped him pack his own stuff along with the souvenirs they got his sisters and brother.

"I can't wait to meet them. They seem really lovely, especially your mom." Harry said as he folded the 2T outfits for Ernest and Doris.

"Well, Lottie and Fiz haven't stopped asking if I'd send pictures to them. Bloody teenagers."

"Have you?"

"No. I refuse to send pictures of my boyfriend to my sisters who not two months ago was convinced they'd marry you. I'll wait for them to calm down before I do anything. My mom however has screenshotted some of the pictures we took together that we shared and is showing you off as her son's boyfriend."

"Is she saying son or boobear?" Louis glared at the laughing man, "I'm curious."

"Shove it where the sun doesn't shine Styles."

"I sunbathe in the nude actually."

"Do you sunbathe with your cheeks spread?"

"LOUIS!" Harry shouted with a red face and huge eyes making Louis laugh

"Just curious Darling."

"No."

"Well, then the sun doesn't shine there does it. Therefore my statement remains the same. Shove your curiosity and comments where the sun doesn't shine, Styles." Harry walked over to him and ran his hands around Louis' waist until they rested on his back with his fingers locking together. Louis grinned as he ran his hands up his arms then locked his fingers behind his neck.

"I'm going to miss you. Miss you in my arms every night and miss kissing you and miss just seeing you."

"I know. I'm going to miss you too, but you only have a month left."

"I know and our families will be together for my last show in Manchester where we'll go out together for a celebratory dinner that I am paying for so make sure your mother leaves her wallet."

"I'll tell her, but she's quite stubborn."

"She passed it to you. I still can't believe we had a whole argument over who would pay the bill at the restaurant."

Louis blushed remembering the argument, eventually, the lady took Harry's card mostly because she didn't care to acknowledge his presence the entire time, but Louis paid the tip. Harry and Louis started arguing again in the car and it was pretty bad considering it was over something so stupid. Louis had sat in the back patio while Harry went to the bedroom and it wasn't until neither of them could fall asleep at two in the morning that they met on the staircase sheepishly. They had apologized to each other for an hour, almost starting another argument about who should apologize, but they had laughed at both of their stubborn natures and talked it through.

It had been their first real conversation about everything. Louis hadn't realized he was nervous about his fans thinking he was with Harry for his money until he said it and Harry hadn't realized how toxic his relationship was until he told Louis how he always paid for everything. How he just so used to handing his card over for anything and everything. Louis had told him he thought Harry thought he was poor when he wasn't and Harry had told him he didn't and trusted Louis to know when and how much he could spend and if at anytime he couldn't it wasn't a big deal. Considering they had only been together for five months it was a serious conversation about finances and money. Louis hadn't realized how serious they were until after that conversation. Finance talk was for serious couples, couples thinking of moving in together and staying together after a year or more of dating. It calmed them both knowing they wer3 both very serious and this wasn't some small relationship until someone else came along.

"To be fair. I planned the dinner so I should have paid."

"Yes alright. Let's not talk about it anymore." Louis chuckled as he zipped up his suitcase, "are you sure I can't change your ticket? Just ride with us to New York and-"

"Harry you know I can't. I have to get home, get back on Manchester time, and get back to work."

"I'm going to miss you is all."

"I know. I'll miss you too." Louis leaned up and kissed Harry gently grinning when Harry kissed him back pulling him in closer, "Just four more weeks."

"I guess." Harry kissed his forehead before pulling him into a tight hug that Louis snuggled into. The rest of the day was spent making sure everyone had everything and spending time together. Harry, Liam, Zayn, and Niall had become close over the week, Harry seemed to have fit himself perfectly on the circle with ease.

Niall and Harry would sit by the pool or fire and play the guitar together, Zayn and Harry would talk about hair products they liked and didn't like and talked about their tattoos with Liam a lot. Liam and Zayn showing Harry some of their couple tattoos. Liam and Harry seemed to do everything else, Harry showing Liam how to cook, how to play guitar with Niall, they once spent five hours in Harry's home studio together. Liam and Harry were probably the closest, always talking about something and even going head to head in air hockey and ping pong in Harry's basement. Harry and Liam were also partners in beer pong after Harry’s last Orlando concert where Harry had a small party with the bandmates and them. Louis was pretty sure Liam was trying to convince Harry on a new tattoo design too since Harry had mentioned he wanted a new one.

Eventually, the time came and they all piled into the tour bus so Harry could take them to the airport and get on the road to New York. New York is the last stop until South America, Ireland then finally back home in the UK. Louis and Harry hugged and kissed and said their goodbyes in the airport before Louis had to go through security.

"Have a safe flight. Text me when you land."

"I will. I'll see you in a few weeks." One last kiss before Louis was following the lads through security and waving at Harry.

"Just a few weeks

Lou." Liam told him

"I know but it doesn't make it any easier." Louis told him

#work in progress #Larry Stylinson #archive of our own #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #larry fic #Wattpad #New Chapter

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beautifulletdownfics · 5 years ago

Text

Twenty Good Reasons :: Part Two

Hello! Welcome to the ‘Someday, Someday’ sequel! I hope you’ll enjoy your time here! Before you start, make sure you check out the Harry & Nina Chronology page to catch up on a few of the drabbles and novellas that slot in the gap between ‘Someday, Someday’ and ‘Twenty Good Reasons’. As always, please don’t be strangers, posting into the void is a terrifying thing! Love K x

+++

As soon as Harry sent me a text saying he was getting on the plane home I got flighttracker.com up on the television set in the lounge room.

It took sitting staring at the screen for the twenty minutes I ate my breakfast before I let out a loud groan and decided I really couldn’t sit on the sofa all day watching Harry’s eighteen hour flight move painstakingly slowly across the screen. I spent the whole previous day cleaning the house from top to toe, and even got on top of the weeding in the garden. I was driving myself mad.

Laykn came over just after lunchtime to return Harry's Xbox console that he borrowed the day Harry left. I made him stay for a cup of tea and forced answers out of him about how every aspect of his life was going. It turned out University Lakyn wasn't always keen on filling in his big sister in on things. I rang my parents afterward, telling my mother everything I'd been able to get out of her son, and comparing notes from the last time she spoke to him.

After I took all of my own questioning from her, I spent an hour walking down to the high street and picking up a few food items I didn't keep in the house while Harry was away. When I got back I distracted myself by making a vegetable lasagna that would still be nice for Harry to reheat later on.

Friends reruns were playing on the telly but after three episodes I found myself spending more time checking the time than I did concentrating on Ross and Chandler's romantic weekend away together. It was well and truly dark outside, and I knew that Harry would be between phones right now, not quite fully tuned into his personal until the work one was off.

At ten pm—an hour after his flight was due to land—I gave up on flighttracker which decided to freeze and refused to let me reload the page. Optimistically, I put the kettle on and set out tea for two, ascending up to the bathroom and getting ready for bed as slowly as I could make myself. I returned to the kitchen and made the tea, taking both mugs with me up to the bedroom and setting Harry's on his bedside table. I remembered pulling back the covers, getting in and flicking through to where I was up to in the book I was reading.

The next thing I knew, I was startling awake with a kink in my neck, my book open on my chest and the morning sunlight streaming through the windows at the foot of the bed.

"Harry?"

He wasn't in the bed next to me, and when I sat up there wasn't any luggage anywhere to be seen.

I swallowed thickly and kicked myself out of bed, stumbling around the corner of the bed and holding out my hand to keep from falling over. I legged it out and down the hall, skipping down the stairs as quickly as I could, running a hand through my hair when the entrance hall was empty of all traces of Harry as well.

It was in that exact moment that I scolded myself for not picking up my phone and seeing if there was anything there, but I left it on the loudest setting and told myself I would have woken up from its disturbance had it rung.

Just when I started running through a list of serious but not life-threatening things that might've gone wrong with the flight I stopped dead in my tracks and took a few deep breaths.

He was asleep on the sofa.

Lying on his tummy with his face pressed into the seat, his cheeks pink and hair a mess. I dropped the hand from my own hair and slumped my shoulders, he was okay.

Comatose, but okay.

Home

I readjusted my pyjamas, suddenly nervous but a slow building happiness was also rising. I was wearing an old Clavin Klein windcheater of Harry's and my own pair of sleep shorts that hardly poked out underneath the jumper. I'd take the time to shave my legs the previous morning and bit my lip through a small smile as I approached the sofa. I rested one knee at Harry's hip and slowly lay down, half on top of him.

"You're in trouble, Mister," I said, pressing a warm kiss to the shell of his ear.

A noise rumbled through Harry's chest and he puffed out a breath as he woke, "Hmmm ... Hi."

I smiled against his skin at the croak in his voice, "I didn't wake up to you, why are you down here?"

"Didn't wanna wake you up," He managed to get out, sounding only slightly more awake. His words slurred and they weren't laced with the affection I was used to when Harry had just arrived back home.

"How about me waking up to an empty bed when your flight was supposed to get in last night?" I whispered, thinking it might lull the affection I desired out of him.

But maybe it was too much to expect, too soon.

His voice was blunt, “Nina, I'm exhausted and jet lagged and a little hungover."

“Oh—

“—And a bit grumpy," He finished over me, sounding exactly as he had described himself.

"Okay then," I backed myself up and pushed up on my hands to leave him be, disappointment and hurt rippling through my chest.

"No," He blindly waved an arm about to try and grab hold of me but failed, "Where are you goin'?"

"Go back to sleep," I said, standing over him and considering whether or not I had the emotional strength to tell him to go up to bed.

I decided I didn't and allowed the cruel idea of letting him sleep poorly on the sofa be his punishment for hurting my feelings. I didn’t care if he was tired and hungover, I missed my boyfriend and he was finally home. I wanted a loving moment from him.

When I got into the kitchen I barely looked up out the window at the kitchen sink, slowly filing the kettle with water, when a tall body pressed heavily up against my back. I watched his tattooed arms come out in front of us, one winding around my tummy while the other turned the tap off.

“I’m a shit.”

I let out a long sigh and let Harry hold me, also allowing his statement to hang over us. I shut my eyes when he dropped his forehead to my shoulder, resting it there for a few moments before eventually giving my tummy a tight squeeze and then pressing his lips to the crown of my head.

“I love you,” He said, “I’m sorry … That was a terrible homecoming.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I didn’t say anything, just letting the moment happen silently as my throat clogged up. I covered his arms with my own though and did my best to hug him back, both of us facing the garden. After a moment I reached forward and turned the tap back on. Harry didn’t step away from me, instead, he kept our bodies pressed together and moved with me as I leaned over to put the kettle on the holder and then reached for tea bags, Harry opened the cupboard above and got the mugs.

I could feel Harry’s eyes on my every movement as we waited quietly for the kettle to boil and I then set about pouring the hot water. I ducked out underneath Harry’s arm to go to the fridge for milk, smiling when he hadn’t moved from his spot and wordlessly held up his elbow so I could slip back in front of him.

“Hungry?” I asked quietly, turning my neck only half of the way back to look at him before tugging on the string of my teabag as a distraction.

I felt Harry nodding against my head, “I need food and ibuprofen and about three years sleep. Neens, I really am sorry.”

“I know you are,” I put him out of his misery, turning around and resting my tailbone against the bench while holding my steaming mug between our chests.

“I’m home, Nina,” Harry declared softly, “Like, home home. Proper home … Long home, not little home. Me and home, we’re in it for the long haul. Eight weeks of no work phone, that’s gotta be almost silver anniversary status, yeah?”

His self banter made me giggle, and his eyes lit up as mine did, “Do you and home need a moment?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, “But my girlfriend and I do.”

Our mugs were set behind us on the counter and it was then that Harry and I finally got our moment of reunion together. Even though he tasted stale from travel, it was still Harry and I kissed him with all I had.

"You need to shower," I scrunched my nose at him when we pulled apart, watching as Harry tangled our hands together.

"Rude," Harry scoffed back. I raised my eyebrows at him. "Come wash my hair?" He asked through a sheepish smile, raising my hand to hip lips and pressing a kiss to my wrist.

“No,” I said petulantly, turning my head away from him, “You’ve killed the mood and I shaved my legs for nothing.”

Harry tilted his head back and let out a fabulous, loud belly laugh. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched him, my heart fluttering from seeing him so happy but trying to keep my face straight. He leaned forward, languidly pulling my body against his and pressing his mouth to the shell of my ear, “I can get the mood back real quick, trust me.”

My toes curled on the tiles below us and I followed him up to the bathroom when he pulled on my arm, a glint in his eye.

+++

Afterwards, Harry refused to have a nap and instead followed me back into the kitchen in just a pair of sleep shorts and a headband I hadn’t the heart to tell him was actually mine, not one of his.

Harry hands rested on my hips as I started the kettle again for tea, but his fingers ghosted around and ended up firmly pressed against my bum, forcing me closer to him as his kisses down the back of my neck became more heated. He let out a breathy laugh against my lips when I flicked some water at him, breaking the contact of his lips on my skin. I let out a definite squeak after Harry gave my backside a hearty squeeze.

“Gotcha,” He taunted quietly, looking quite proud of himself.

I settled myself back on the heels of my feet and turned around to face him, “I don’t appreciate being man handled!”

“Aw,” Harry pressed a kiss to my nose, “But I’m your man, baby. And I’m home.”

I laughed at the megawatt grin on his face, he looked more than proud of himself, “Eggs?”

“Please!” He finally stepped away from me and patted at his non-existent tummy for dramatic effect.

“Sit up,” I gestured to the stools behind the breakfast bar, “I’ll make them now.”

I knew he was watching me, but I soon forgot and let myself focus on assembling everything for eggs on toast. Everything was set out and I was waiting for the pan to heat up on the hob, Harry cleared his throat and when I looked up at him he only raised his eyebrows at me.

“Why aren’t you talking?” He asked after a beat of me looking at him, unsure what he was getting at.

“Huh?”

He pointed to the frypan to remind me it was on the heat, I turned back to it but Harry spoke behind me, “You usually talk to me when you’re cooking.”

“Oh,” I shrugged, cracking three eggs for Harry and two for me into the sizzling butter, “You’re tired and worn out … Figured you could use the quiet.”

“Talk, please,” He responded quickly, without letting my last word hang. “I was a grumpy jerk earlier. I want to chat.”

“Well,” I started slowly, deciding what story might be best to launch into, “I think your Mum had a nice time down here last week for her birthday—

“—She did” Harry interrupted quickly, “She told me multiple times she loved staying with you.”

I moved around to face Harry and bit at the tip of my thumb, “Yeah … She might’ve called me a few days after to reiterate that.”

Harry’s eyes crinkled with a proud smile.

“Um,” I thought for a second, squishing my lips together as I pondered and set out the toast on our plates, “Laykn had a second date with that economics student, Rosie. Won’t tell me anything about it though …”

“I’ll get on it and go for a drink with him, see if I can get more out of him,” Harry winked at me, reaching for the plate I was holding out to him.

I boosted myself up onto the chair next to him, waiting a moment to watch Harry take his first mouthful. When he didn’t have an adverse reaction I was happy to eat myself, it wasn’t unusual that I’d have to get up for salt and pepper to redeem my attempts. Unsurprisingly, he ended up scoffing down his food and then reaching over to fish bits off my plate when I was a little slower than him. Harry always picked at plane food and came off nearly every flight hungry.

"So ... What are we gonna do with all our freedom?” Harry's warm hand pressed down on my shoulder so I'd sit down when I started gathering up our empty plates, instead he stood and walked them over to the sink, “We have weeks to get thoroughly sick of each other.”

"I figured you'd sleep most of the day today and ... And maybe tonight we could just go for a walk and get Indian or something easy for dinner?"

I watched for Harry's reaction as he rinsed off the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher, "Let's get in the car and drive ... End up somewhere by the sea."

"Tonight?" I asked, confused.

"No," He shook his head and stuck his left arm up to scratch at his right shoulder, "I mean let's go right now. We'll pack and go away for a few days."

"Harry," I laughed, "You've just been away from home for five months."

"Not with you," He replied quickly.

"I'm going to be here!"

“You don’t have anything planned for the next few days, do you?”

“Well, no,” I began, “I thought it would be nice to have a few free days with you—

“—Exactly! Neens, I just want to go and have a few days somewhere where it's just us … I just don't want to feel like the rest of London is watching us all the time. I'm sick of being watched, please?"

He had made his way back around to me, and I turned in my chair so that he could stand between my legs and make his appeal directly to me. I ran my hands over his cheeks and then back up over his head as far as I could reach, scratching at his scalp carefully. I understood what he meant, being on tour was a fishbowl and photos of Harry were streaming in by the minute; the fans and the rest of the world were completely saturated with what felt like his every movement.

"Okay," I agreed, "Whatever you want ... Do you want me to call your mum and tell her we'll be there later—

“—No," He said quickly, "No, I don't want to go to my Mum’s ... Or your parent’s place. I don’t want to see anybody else, I just want us for a bit,” He leant in and kissed my lips slowly, pulling back but only to rest his forehead against mine and watch me.

“Okay,” I nodded.

Harry smiled, “Good. Let’s be on the road by ten.”

*******

In the end, it was more like eleven thirty by the time we got ourselves sorted.

I had expected Harry to collapse on the bed at some point after we were dressed, or while we were packing, but he never did. He never grumbled again, or outwardly looked tired, he was lighthearted and silly and seemed genuinely excited to be heading out of the city with me. I wouldn’t have blamed him for changing the plans in lieu of sleeping once he realised how tired he was. I saw him take two ibuprofen and then it was like the complaints he’d had when I woke him up vanished. Usually, when he got home off a tour he slept for seventeen hours, ate a few meals worth of food, showered when I made him and then passed out on the sofa.

When we started packing our bags, he loudly made a 'no fancy clothes' rule because we weren't going to be going out anywhere while we were away. I thought I was being helpful when I put his Blackberry charger on the bed to be packed but he dramatically snatched it up and threw it across the room.

"Not taking that stupid thing," He muttered, turning on his heel and going into the bathroom to collect our toothbrushes.

When he came back out I was still looking at the cord on the floor near the door, I couldn't remember the last time Harry hadn't obsessed over making sure the charger was with us. He never let his work phone run out of charge.

"No phones," Harry said sternly, frowning when he considered the best thing to pack our toiletries in, "I'm going to put my iPhone on aeroplane mode and just use it for the camera. If someone really needs to reach me they can go through you, and if they don't have your number they don't know me well enough to need me."

"Harry," I said softly, "Is something going on? I mean, is something wrong?”

“What? No,” He responded loudly, the kind of loud that meant he was lying. His stance got defensive and his eyes were wide as he shook his head at me like what I had suggested was preposterous.

“Harry,” I started carefully, “You’re kind of frantic right now. It’s understandable that you’re tired and I get that you want to be away from people, I really do, but the sea will still be there tomorrow after you’ve slept.”

His shoulders slumped, "I'm freaking out a bit, yeah?"

"Just a bit," I nodded, waiting for him to find the words to explain and also giving myself a moment to breathe through the tight feeling that had bubbled up in my chest.

"I got a car back with Tim last night and ... And he's not doing so well, Neens. It made me really sad, then it just made me desperate for ... For not having that happen to us. I mean," Harry tossed his electric shaver onto the bed haphazardly and looked defeated, "Like, he's going home to an empty house for the first time. It sucks."

"H," I went to reach for his hand but it was already on its way up into his hair.

"I know, we're not Tim and Alexis but at the start of the tour they were fine, just like us and now ..."

"It's awful, Harry, I know."

He looked up at me then with red, glassy eyes, "It fucking sucks, Neens."

"So we're going away for a few days," I said simply, hoping he saw that I understood now. Over the course of a few years, Harry had grown to love and trust his tour bassist, Tim who had broken up with his girlfriend shortly after Harry returned to the Asia leg from seeing me in London. Harry found it hard to navigate to to best be a friend to Tim during it all and I’d had my suspicions that Harry had been shaken by it for his own reasons as well.

"Yeah," Harry sniffed. "I don't know exactly what went wrong for them ... But I just need to know that you know I'm gonna be here. And if you every needed me to come back, I would. But also just that ... That I always want to be with you. Always."

"I know," I said, taking the few steps to him and slipping my arms around his waist. "I know you do."

"Good," He nodded, roughly fisting at his eyes where a few tears had fallen. "Fuck, Post Tour Teary Harry, how spectacular."

"Do you want to cuddle and nap before we go?" I whispered. "You're exhausted, Harry."

"No, I want to go find a disgustingly quintessential English seaside cottage and cuddle there."

I silently nodded against his chest, squeezing him once and placing a kiss against his sternum, "Let's get a wriggle on then."

Harry wanted to drive, claiming to have missed his car. And if we were being honest I missed him driving, I hated trying to navigate the stupid thing. I thought he might give it up though, being so tired, but he insisted he was okay.

The first hour up and out of London was spent with Harry expelling story after story from the last few days of tour, which were always especially fun. I laughed along with them all because it was nice hearing stories from someone who was getting paid to do what they loved; even if his job meant he was away a lot it was worth it to see Harry so happy with his lot in life.

Laughing helped the ache in my chest as well.

Driving with no intended destination was interesting, but Harry was filled with a boyish joy every time we got to a major intersection and we picked one way or the other. He was quick to reject any sign that pointed to the areas of the Midlands that were familiar to him. And even though we ended up heading in the same direction up the country, it was nice to be going through different villages to what the main highways take.

"Okay," Harry rested my phone on the bonnet of the car and angled it towards me. We had stopped for lunch about four hours into our drive, "There's a place about an hour away that looks nice, should I call?"

I saw two photos of lake views and a huge bathtub, "Yes. Walks and baths, perfect."

His eyebrows scrunched together, "It's too far to walk to the beach from though, are we okay with driving to the beach?"

"Harry," I latched my hand around his forearm and drew his eyes my way, "It looks perfect."

He paused for a second and then smiled, "Great. Gimme a kiss and then I'll call while you go get some more car snacks."

I reached up on my tippy toes and planted a kiss right in the middle of his lips, "Back in a minute."

I turned around and waited for some traffic before crossing the road to where the little line of shops that made up this small village were. I briefly heard Harry politely greeting someone on the other end of the phone line before I started considering my options for prime road trip munchies.

When I got back to the car Harry was leaning against it, facing the direction I was coming from, with his head tilted back to catch the warmth from the sun. He had pushed his black Ray Bans up to the crown of his head and his legs were casually crossed at his ankles.

"Working on your tan?" I said by way of greeting.

He didn't open his eyes straight away but a lazy smile turned up his face, "Yeah. Some of us get colour when in the sun, you wouldn't know about that though, Miss Pasty.” I swatted at his stomach and he was quick enough to catch my hand and pull me into his chest, "Don't worry, I love you anyway."

"How big of you," I said sarcastically.

“Naw, don’t be nasty, Neens,” Harry kissed my temple and left his lips to rest warmly against my skin. “You smell nice.”

“Thank you,” I smiled up at him and watched as the decision to kiss me played out on his face.

When someone driving past gave their car horn a little toot at us, Harry pulled away with a goofy grin on his face, smacking his lips together where they had just been caught with mine. By the time he got around to his side of the car my blush had subsided and I let Harry take my hand in his as he pulled out into the road again.

It was still light when we got to the neighbouring village to the cottage Harry booked. He pulled up at one of the houses in town and kissed me quick on the cheek, saying he’d be right back. I watched as he jumped up the steps and knocked on the front door. He talked briefly with an older gentleman who looked around Harry at me at one point, I held up my hand in a wave. Harry took a key and piece of paper from him, shook his hand and then made his way back to the car.

“So the house is about ten minutes away on the lake,” Harry began, handing me the map and crossing his seatbelt back across his body, “He said his wife went out there earlier to put the lights on for us, and a few basics in the fridge for tonight and tomorrow morning. He said there’s a Tesco in the village that opens at eight a.m.”

“Right, well, I can guarantee we won’t be there at that time,” I said quickly.

Harry laughed briefly but was then the picture of concentration when I started pointing out the little streets and back roads we needed to be taking. Eventually, we were crawling up a tree lined driveway towards the dull light from a beautiful, white house.

“This place is so much bigger in real life,” I marvelled, leaning forward in my seat as more and more of the cottage came into view.

“Yeah, sorry,” Harry began, “I really should have told you the phone screen wasn’t to scale.”

I hit him in the arm, “Don’t be a git.”

Once we had figured out the locks on the door and dumped all our luggage in the lounge area, it took the two of us all of three minutes to spread out across the entire house and find the best bits. There were four bedrooms, two living areas, three bathrooms and a strange library conservatory hybrid in the centre of the second floor.

I found Harry lying flat on his back on the floor of the master bedroom ensuite.

“Wow,” I leaned against the doorframe, “Having a good time there?”

“I was just standing …” He said, his eyes not opening as he let out a slow breath of air, “And then I thought, ‘Harry, it’s time to lie down, you’re tired, mate.’ So now I’m lying down and Neens, it’s really nice.”

“Ah, okay,” I sang lightly, stepping into the room and crouching onto my knees next to him, it was obvious his exhaustion hit him all at once, “I think it’s time for bed, yeah?”

“Nina,” His palm landed on my knee and when Harry turned his head to me his eyes were open, “I’m really happy right now. Let’s sleep here.”

“That’s a terrible idea, Harry,” I whispered, covering his hand with my own, “Let’s count backwards from thirty and by the time we’re done you’ll be in bed and half asleep. Ready? Thirty … Twenty nine …”

“Oh,” He faked crying, but pushed himself up onto his elbows, “You’re so awful to me.”

“I truly am … Twenty eight,” I stood up and braced as much of Harry’s weight as I could manage, “Twenty seven.”

When he was standing he loped his arms heavily over my shoulders and leaned against me clumsily, “Nina, you don’t have to keep counting.”

“Twenty six …” I said, “I feel like now that I’ve started it’s something I’ve got to finish.”

“You don’t,” Harry said softly, leaning out and dropping his head down to my level for a slow kiss, “You got me off the floor,” I sucked in a breath as his fingers slotted into the top of my jeans, skirting around to my hips and then back to the zipper, “Let’s shower before bed, hmm?”

“We showered this morning at home,” I said hoarsely.

“We definitely need to shower again.”

I could only look up and watch Harry’s eyes as his long fingers expertly popped the button of my jeans and slowly shimmied them down over my hips. He kissed my knee on the way back up and I braced my hands on his shoulders as he stood. Harry silently tugged on the bottom of my shirt, prompting me to lift my arms so he could remove it too, when it was gone he traced the outlines of my bra with the backs of his fingers.

“God, I’ve missed you,” He breathed out, voice cracking as he looked back up and just blinked at me. “Does it make me a dick to say that when I’m getting you naked?”

I shook my head back and forth twice, never breaking eye contact but slowly reaching out for Harry’s t-shirt, I gripped the material at his shoulders and pulled it up. Harry’s hands went down to pull it over his head and he backstopped out of his jeans when I tugged them down his legs.

When I was standing upright again Harry’s hands came up to my face and held it carefully, looking across my features carefully before pulling me in for a languid, hot kiss. A kiss that moved into our bodies pressed against each other and Harry slowly removing our final pieces of clothing. My breathing was getting heavier and Harry noticed, because he wrapped his arms around me to still us.

“I’m sorry,” He kissed the hollow of my ear, “I know I started this … But I’m so tired nothing we do from here will be any good for either of us.”

I let out a small laugh and leaned in to kiss his chest, “It’s alright. Tomorrow.”

Unlike earlier this morning, we showered together in the most innocent of ways, although this time he shampooed my hair. Once we were out Harry had just enough energy to pull back the duvet and roll himself underneath before he was out and completely unresponsive. It was still only early in the evening, so I took a few extra minutes to slip into some sleep shorts and a jumper, before unpacking a few of our things and trotting downstairs to make a cup of tea.

I did a slow walking tour of the house then, mug in hand and the fingers of my other hand dancing across surfaces and picking up trinkets to find their purpose. It felt magical, to be somewhere unfamiliar but homey with Harry. I found myself thinking he’d been quite astute in thinking we needed some isolated time together. By the time I was back upstairs, pulling back the covers on my side of the bed, Harry had already rearranged himself onto his stomach and kicked one leg out of the duvet and back on top of it.

I got in quietly, and held my breath for a moment to make sure that I hadn’t woken him up. When he didn’t move or make a sound I let my back sink into the mattress and took a moment to be fully comforted by the fact he was merely lying beside me. I thought of all the countess nights I’d fallen asleep on my own, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to trick myself into believing Harry was actually in the bed with me. But every morning I’d wake up alone and have to force myself into positivity again; force myself into being happy for him. So many nights I fell asleep to the sound of my own tears, and woke up in the morning to a headache from them. And for some unknown reason the overwhelming sense of relief I felt right now had me crying here too. Silent tears that rolled uncomfortably down my face and tickled my neck, and it was impossible to stop them so I let them go, breathing steadily but biting my lip to stop any sobs coming out.

It just felt so unreal to be in a moment I had held as a beacon of hope for so long. It felt like I’d been holding down the fought by myself for a lifetime, and all Harry had to do was walk in the door and suddenly I could breathe again. He was warranted in his fear of turning out like Tim and Alexis, because while he was away there was something about us that seemed so false, so conditional. I understood why them breaking up had shaken him so much, because while I had no reason to, there was something in every day that had me thinking perhaps today would be the day a delicate cord between Harry and I might be severed, taking everything down with it.

Sometimes, fragility was beautiful.

The rest of the time it was fucking terrifying.

*******

Harry didn’t wake up until almost two p.m. the following day.

I heard his heavy footsteps coming down the stairs from my spot cocooned in a rug on the sofa. They were slow at first but once he got to the top of the stairs he called out my name, I responded, and he jogged the rest of the way to me.

“It’s the afternoon!” He said, breathless and diving into the spot next to me, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Hello,” I said into his kiss, “I wanted you to rest. You obviously needed the sleep.”

“What have you done all day?” He asked, peeling the book out of my hands and not bothering to look where it ended up on the floor. At least he’d managed to slip my bookmark into the right page.

My eyes followed it momentarily but then Harry’s hands pulling apart my blankets distracted me, “Hey, I’m warm.”

“Wanna be warm with you,” He mumbled, frowning as he turned his body around and coaxed me into his lap with the blanket now over his shoulders and around me too. “Just been reading?”

“Yep,” I nodded, covering Harry’s cheek with my hand when he rested his head on my shoulder. “And I went into the Tescos earlier for some food type things, it’s a sweet little village. They only had the milk chocolate Digestives though—

—No,” Harry dramatically threw his head back against the sofa, “Milk chocolate sucks.”

I laughed for a second before he settled back against me, “You feeling better?”

“Positively refreshed … And starving,” He laughed, “But human again … Sorry about yesterday …”

“Sorry?” I questioned, trying to get a look at his face but Harry’s eyes were directed at his hands. “Harry,” I nudged him with my knee.

“You were crying last night,” He said in a small voice.

I looked away and rested my head back against the cushions, “You heard …”

“I woke up and I think you’d only just fallen asleep, but you left the lamp on and I could see your face. What was going on, Neens?”

“Just having a moment,” I smiled at him. Harry sat up next to me and took my hands into his lap. “I’m okay.”

“Don’t give me that shit, Nina. Why were you crying? ‘Cause I was a dick yesterday at home? ‘Cause I was crabby at you?”

“No,” I replied urgently, but my voice didn’t have any of the weight I wanted it to, it sounded pathetic.

“Nina,” He warned sternly.

“Okay,” I sighed, “You … It hurt when you didn’t … When you were less that excited I was there yesterday, it hurt that you didn’t make a fuss like you usually do. I mean, I know it was only four weeks ago that you came to London—

“—Stop,” Harry told me, “Don’t make excuses, I hurt your feelings.”

I felt like I was going to cry, “I missed you. And I know it takes a few days for you to switch out of tour mode, that you’re all go-go-go until you get off the plane at Heathrow and you collapse at home. I know your job is physically and mentally and emotionally taxing, Harry.”

“But …” He prompted, not looking defensive or accusatory.

“But … But when you’re away I’m at home counting down the days until you’re back,�� I took a deep breath and tried not to let any tears escape, “I’m just holding onto the hope that in three months … In two weeks … today, will be the day you come back and I get to feel like you’re a real thing I get to have that’s special and mine and no one else’s … And then I guess, you come back ready to shut down to rehabilitate but I’m just gearing up to launch into just being together and … And it clashes a bit.”

“Neens,” Harry swallowed, and I heard the slightest sniff from him, “I don’t … I didn’t want to shut you out, that’s not what I was … I just … When I got back I …”

He had no idea what to say, and I didn’t know how to extend anything out to him to help.

“I was crying last night because I was relieved you were home, and I wasn’t alone anymore,” I said after a moment or two of silence. “It just caught up to me that you were safe and well and happy in the bed next to me. That’s all I ever want for you, Harry. And I know that towards the end of tour you’re often not those three things anymore like you are when you first leave me … I worry about you.”

Harry seemed to spend some time to take in what I had said, and after a few minutes he nodded solemnly, “I know you worry … And I think … I think sometimes people simplify it—and I go along with it—but they think the hardest part about being apart or me being ‘on tour’,” He used his pointer fingers as air commas, “They think it’s all about staying faithful, that the challenge is not cheating. But that’s a load of shit and quite frankly kind of insulting,” Harry’s frown was deep set, “It’s easy not cheating. It’s really, really easy being faithful,” He shrugged, “That part of it is simple. What isn’t simple is navigating emotions and anticipating your needs over the phone, or trying to figure out how tired you are over Skype. Trying to work out where you need motivation or encouragement from me in your life, and working out what you’re not saying when I don’t see everything. If I’ve had a shit day I can avoid you, or I can edit things to make you feel better about my being away. Or … Or I can blame you and lash out when you don’t automatically get stuff; when I have to explain through my frustrations.”

“It’s so much easier when we’re together,” I added at the end.

“Exactly,” He sighed, “We can’t always have the right conversation on different continents. Not properly.”

I thought carefully about whether or not to say the next thing, “Awhile ago when I saw her, before they broke up, Alexis said her and Tim weren’t talking anymore … Not like they used to. I didn’t think too much of it but I look back on it now …”

“I didn’t really notice he wasn’t mentioning her much anymore,” Harry nodded slowly, “Tim said it was too late when he was scrambling at the end to save it, that they’d both hurt each other too deeply to be able to fix it over Skype.”

“I don’t want that to ever be us, Harry,” I melted my body further into his, desperate for connection.

“I just don’t want us to hurt each other,” Harry agreed, “Or when I do you’ve got to tell me, Neens.”

“I knew you didn’t mean to hurt me yesterday,” I defended him.

“Who knows though,” He argued, “Maybe that’s where it starts. Maybe it starts with unintentional bumps that neither of us notice, or think are serious, and then …”

“… Then comes stuff I don’t want to sit here and think about any longer,” I finished.

Harry held me tightly then, "Let's go for a walk. Around the lake."

And just like that he was up, charging around the place getting warmer clothes and jackets, and finding walking boots and scarves even though it wasn't that cool out. He was suddenly giddy and excited about exploring, it was infectious and I laughed until my sides hurt as Harry layered us both up and swatted at my backside to get me out the door. But the time we were outside the whole sad mood had lifted from us, Harry's cheeks were red from the wind and his hand latched onto mine tightly.

We walked in silence for a long while, balancing on the edges of a one person path side by side. Whenever there was a puddle he would try and force me to lose my footing just before it, or blatantly try and push me into it. It always ended in a good cuddle though, because I'd scream and then grab hold of some part of Harry’s body which he would then manipulate into a side hug.

It was cold down on the lake, the wind coming off it tangled in my hair and made a shiver run down my spine. But it was beautiful because the sun's reflection was hitting it at just the right angle for beams to strike at the trees all around. It was the perfect evening with the ever present chill that covered Northern England.

I knew from experience there wasn’t much in life Harry loved more than getting lost on long walks. Every time we went home to spend time with his mum, or with my family, he would always drag me out into the countryside to spend a few quiet hours together; palms, fingers and souls locked. Sometimes Harry would want to chat, but more often then not it was simply being together that was enough. Anne had told me once that as a kid—even a teenager—it wasn’t unusual for Harry to disappear for an afternoon and come home with muddy wellies and wind-chapped lips.

We stopped walking when the path came almost to the water’s edge, right in the centre of a wide opening in the trees that meant we had a breathtaking view of a wider area of the water. I adjusted myself in front of Harry, smiling to myself when he easily rested his arms over my shoulder and latched them together across my chest.

“What would you do if Nessie stuck her head of the water, right there?” I pointed out at the centre of the lake.

I felt Harry’s laugh against the crown of my head, “Definitely not tell Scotland, it would destroy them. Can you imagine?”

I turned around in his arms, “I think if I was Scotland I’d want to know my whole life had been a lie.”

“C’mon … There’s another clearing a little bit further ahead.”

It never occurred to me to question how Harry might know there was a second clearing coming up. But the path got a little rocky, and Harry backed himself down so he could hold my hands and help me keep my footing. I was staring at my feet the whole way and when we were finally at the bottom I looked around, but kept my eyes up where the was now a wall of trees around us and then a steep incline into the water. It looked like a spot that might be where people swam in summer.

I stumbled over as close as I could get to the edge without feeling like a might fall and just looked out over it all. This wasn’t the same was looking over the Themes, or even like watching the ocean in Blackpool, this water was calm and smooth. I wished there was some way to be sitting out in it.

“Nina.”

I turned back to look for Harry and just like that my calm, smooth thoughts were gone. He was still back where the trail ended and I hadn’t realised he wasn’t right behind me anymore.

Harry was down on one knee holding out a ring box in front of himself, his smile growing slowly as I took him in. I watched him for what felt like a long moment, but really it would have only been a few seconds. I noticed his hands shaking slightly and the way his very expensive jeans were covered in dirt.

My eyes went back up to where Harry hadn’t moved a muscle except when he waved me forward, coaxing me to come closer to him. Harry laughed when I stumbled a bit, my hands shaking but somehow completely ready for what was about to happen.

“Nina Mae,” He started formally, with a fondness that seeped straight to my tummy, “I love you … Beyond what I ever thought I could. And everyday with you is safe and happy and … And full of love. I feel like I already said that,” He backtracked quickly, but then seemed to snap back onto task, “But … It’s true. I’m an idiot who can’t remember what he wanted to say … Just that …” He took a deep breath and steadied himself, “I love you. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I said without any hesitation an barely giving him time to finish the question.

Harry’s eyes widened, “Yeah?”

My eyes went glassy so I nodded my head instead, “Yes.”

Harry gave me the most magnificent smile I think I’d ever seen, and as my own face cracked into happiness so too did the tears fall. I gave him my left hand when he reached for it, and tried to hold still enough as he plucked the ring from the box and fumbled his way into putting it on my finger. I couldn’t see though happy tears and it wasn’t until Harry launched up at me and picked me up into a hug that I looked over his shoulder at my hand.

“Harry what the fuck is this ring!”

When he put me down his face was right up to mine, I noted his tears and the way his smile hadn’t dropped a millimetre, “What?” But he instantaneously looked panic-stricken, “Do you not like it?”

He’d taken my hand in his and was holding it between us, “No, you idiot, it’s gorgeous, it just looks like it cost more than a car!”

Immediately he started shaking his head at me, “No, we’re not talking about how much it cost, only what it means. And it means that I get to see you wear it every day for the rest of our lives.”

I quietened, drinking his last words in, “The rest of our lives,” I mused.

His face exploded in a beaming grin again as his arms wound around my waist and rocked me, “Yeah. You like that?”

“I love it,” I said and hooked my hand around the base of his neck, pulling his lips down to where I could reach them.

Harry’s hands cradled my face as we kissed, but it was a hopeless way of expressing our happiness when breathy laughs and huge smiles were still our reactions. I didn’t care because surging through me—more than possibly any kiss could convey—was such a feeling of togetherness and just being completely in love with the man in front of me. I didn’t care if our lips were bumping and our noses were knocking each other out of reach.

Somehow though, we figured out how to express everything with our bodies. The kisses slowed down eventually, Harry’s hands lingered lower on my body. I might’ve liked to have taken in more of the lake, but that was before I climbed back up the hill Harry’s fiancé. I could hardly take my eyes off him for a second as we walked back, both our faces split in grins and red from happiness. Harry had his phone out and kept taking photos of me and of the two of us together.

It wasn’t long before my mind was suddenly rushing with a hundred questions for him.

“How long have you had the ring?

“Oh,” Harry breathed out slowly, swinging our joined hands between us, “I … Uh, I got it in New York.”

I pulled back quickly and had to squint through the growing sunset, “New York?”

Harry looked down at me dumbfounded, like he couldn’t understand why my tone had changed, “What’s the problem?”

I frowned, “That was months ago.”

My hips were convincingly pressed back against Harry’s then when he seemed to understand I was curious, not upset. He leaned down to kiss me once with smiling eyes, “Yeah, it was a while back. It was virtually just after you were with me for the first week of tour … I drove you to the airport then went straight into the jeweller and picked it out.”

“Harry …”

“I’ve had it in my luggage for five months and been terrified something would happen and I’d lose my bags, or you’d find it. It’s been a petrifying secret to have, trust me.”

He waited for a few moments, watching me as I thought about all the time that had passed with Harry having this magnificent thing hidden in with his stupid t-shirts and smelly socks. Eventually though, he leaned down again and snuck his hands underneath my shirt before guiding me into another brilliant kiss.

“What about our families?”

Harry hummed a laugh, “They knew. I rang your dad in a panic the minute I left the shop.”

“My dad?” I looked over at him as we started walking again.

“Well,” He took a deep breath and had a glint in his eyes that told me story time was beginning, “Last Christmas when I told him I wanted to ask you to marry me he requested to see the ring, which at that stage I didn’t have, so when I had it I just sort of felt like I had to tell him first.”

“What did he say?” I asked. “Wait, last Christmas? As in, more than a year ago you told my dad you wanted to marry me?”  Harry smiled broadly, “I knew well before last Christmas, but yeah. It was a year ago I started properly thinking about it. I waited until now thought because I didn’t want to propose and then fuck off for six months, that felt unfair.”

I tilted my head to one side, “I’d have said yes a year ago.”

“I know,” Harry replied simply. “Back then your dad told me I’d be stupid not to ask you, and that he knew the first time he met me that one day I’d want to marry you.”

“Really?” I grinned.

“Yeah, your dad’s an old softie.” Harry squeezed my hand, “And when I called him from New York he asked me if I was scared. I told him I was petrified!” He laughed, “And I showed my mum and Gem the ring a few months later when they visited me in the States in summer, from then on basically any time I’ve been with any of them—my family or yours—I’ve just been getting harassed about when I was going to ask you.”

“They haven’t!” I was horrified at the thought.

“Oh my god,” Harry cried out dramatically, covering his eyes with his free hand for a moment, “I was sure you’d notice all the looks they were giving me at Christmas this year. The number of times I was positive you were about to walk in on a conversation I didn’t want you to overhear … I gave your brother a dead arm one morning because you walked in right as he asked me if I wanted him to ask you for me. Fucking idiot.”

“I didn’t realise at all!”

He squished up his nose, “I’m glad … But it was okay … They’re all just excited. Your brother has put himself in charge of my Stag do as well which I’m a bit scared for, if I’m honest. It’s been killing Gemma too, as soon as I told her she was furious at me for giving her a secret she couldn’t tell you.”

“I had no idea …”

“Good,” Harry looked over at me in mock seriousness, “‘Cause I told her if you ever got wind of anything she was the prime suspect, stinking tattletale.”

“You’ve all had this really big secret,” I pouted, but smiled when Harry leant over to kiss it away.

“T’was a good secret though, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“I mean, also completely terrifying,” Harry added in a rush.

“Why terrifying?”

“Because I had no idea what to say!” He exclaimed, “How do you ask the most important person in your life to tether themselves to your tree forever?” I held back a laugh, loving the way Harry came out with the most ridiculous ways of saying things when he got passionate and silly like this, “There’s a lot of pressure to plan everything perfectly and then say the right thing, Neens."

I suddenly froze and grabbed his wrist, "Wait."

Harry paused and looked puzzled by my stopping, "What?"

"Is this ..." I pointed all around us, "This wasn't all just a last minute thing, was it? You had this place booked ages ago."  A slow smile crept over Harry's face, "I don't know what you're talking about."  "Harry!" I cried out, "You knew we were coming here! It was all an act, convincing me to come, taking random turns all the way here. You'd already booked it and knew exactly where we were coming!"  "No comment."  "You're a liar!" I accused through a smile, jabbing my index finger to his chest.

Harry snatched my hand and squeezed his palm over it, "You really think I've had the ring for nearly a year but wouldn't plan the proposal?"

"You're the worst! I was worried about you packing us up in a flurry all anxious and jittery."

"Well the jitters weren't fake ..." He smiled at me, "I’ve been recording notes on my phone for months. In fact," He pulled on my arm and draped his over my shoulder, walking us back up the final path to the front door, "I very nearly asked you to marry me at 4am in that hotel room after your debut." 

"You did?"  "Yeah," Harry nodded, "I left you in the room and was downstairs waiting for my car and just thought, 'You idiot, Harry, why do you keep leaving this woman without her wearing that ring?' All I wanted to do was run back up and ask you right then, flight to Japan be damned."

"So many secrets," I shook my head playfully at him.

He kissed my palm in response, "No more now."

We made it to the house and when we pulled apart to take off our shoes and outer layers it wasn’t long before we were joined hands again and tugging on arms to get back to the house as quickly as we could.

“Can I listen to them?” I asked, almost tripping over the entrance-way mat when we fell through the front door together, Harry and I joined at the lips and his fingers tugging on the zip of my jeans again.

“Huh?” He forced out, walking himself backwards through he living room. His shirt was already off, with his jeans looking to follow soon.

“The voice recordings,” I reminded him, jumping slightly when his cold fingers slid against the skin around my hips.

“Nina,” He let out a deflating groan, “Later,” His lips traced the line from my ear, along my jaw and almost to the side of my mouth.

“Sorry,” I said quickly.

He whispered lowly, right into my ear, “I know you can be a curious little thing sometimes, but right now I’ve got other priorities. Because my beautiful, gorgeous, sexy girlfriend is now my fiancée ... So I’d really love to just spend some time—a lot of time really—just completely ravishing her, yeah?”

I blushed and nodded against his chest, feeling daft but in a warming, endearing way, “Yep, okay.”

“Alright,” He breathed out, his hands slipping underneath my jeans and moulding around my bum, “I love you.”

Harry slowly started lifting my layers of clothing off, pressing his lips over any newly exposed skin he deemed necessary to kiss. The joy bubbled in my stomach, not only at his contact, but every time my eye caught my left ring-finger my need to feel Harry got more urgent.

He wasn’t lying either when he said he wanted to take his time, although when it came down to it he still had weeks of exhaustion under his belt, mixed with the joy and celebration of the day. Movements were clumsy in spots, and awe giggled our way through a few mishaps. But Harry knew my body, and his forehead creased in beautiful concentration as he did everything he could to pleasure us both.

We could only last so long before I was snuggled into his side, trying to catch my breath completely content. It had been a funny back and forth between us, because while I was charged with the excitement of the engagement, Harry was slow and considered, enjoying the fact this was the kind of love that was made when we knew we wouldn’t be separated in a few days, and I supposed it was some kind of relief to him as well, that he'd been thinking about this moment for months and now he could enjoy it.

I hadn’t noticed him fiddling with his phone until I heard Harry’s voice fill the room.

“Uh, okay. Proposal idea number one: Ask her at Brighton Pier … Like every other stupid boyfriend … No, no. Maybe Blackpool? The waterfront is nice there. You could have tea-light candles on the beach.”

“Stupid idea, candles wouldn't stay lit outside,” Realtime Harry said, rolling over onto his side to face me and holding the phone between us. I watched as he clicked on the next recording.

“No matter what you say, you’ve gotta start with ‘I love you’. Then something about how she makes everything better. And maybe something about the start, when she would hardly talk to you but it just made you want her so much more … And so you’ve always known having her in your life was a gift … A privilege. Ah shit, call Mum and ask her for ideas.”

I giggled at the last bit, knowing Harry definitely would’ve called Anne for help.

“Will you marry me … Will you do the honour of marrying me … The honour of becoming my wife … I want to be the man you call your husband … Shit, no … Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I said aloud, smiling softly when Harry’s eyes met mine.

He had already hit play on another recording but I didn’t register what it was saying, instead I propped myself up on one elbow and leant over him. Harry naturally fell onto his back as I moved, letting me rest across his chest and tangle my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck.

“Are you happy?” He asked quietly, searching my face for the answer before I gave it.

“So happy,” I swallowed back emotion, “So, so happy. I can’t wait to be your wife. I mean, it sounds weird now, but happy weird, you know?”

“Yeah I know,” Harry grinned, “I’ve been picturing it for months now, like more than just the idea of it like when we were dating, really imagining what it would be like.”

"Hmmm," I pondered, "Being Harry Styles' wife ... Am I old enough to do that?"

"I certainly think so," Harry was quick to supply, and while I knew he wanted to say more I was much more pleased when he didn't. I didn't want to think about anyone else's opinion of this at all right now. I had been stupid to even mention what I had.

"Wife Nina," I mused slowly.

"I don't want to wait," Harry said, "You said you can't wait to be my wife and I know that's just an expression but ... Let's actually do it, Neens. I don't wanna be engaged forever. I want to be your husband, at your earliest convenience, of course," He finished with a silly voice but it took nothing away from his urgency at the beginning.

Let's actually do it ... I want to be your husband.

I had a thought that turned my cheeks pink and Harry noticed straight away, his knuckles came up to my face and pressed against the blush, “Stop,” I whined.

His green eyes met mine, “Did you think something naughty?”

“No!” I tugged on his hair, “I just thought that … I think you’ll be really hot as a husband.”

“I’d prefer if you interchanged ‘hot’ with ‘wonderful’,” Harry corrected, but he was smiling a cheeky smile that had me wanting to roll my eyes at him.

“That too,” I deadpanned, leaning back into him where we had naturally moved apart to talk.

Instead of starting another conversation though, I slotted my leg between Harry’s and smiled to myself when his eyes widened at the movement. I took my time leaning in for the kiss he knew was coming, holding myself over him and just grinning when he moved his head up to meet me and I pulled back ever so slightly.

When our lips finally met Harry wanted it, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders so I couldn’t move back again and before I could build the kiss up his teeth were already lightly tugging at my bottom lip, giving perfect access to his tongue tracing the bitten skin.

When I rearranged myself so my hips were further up the bed and I could control our movements better we were both startled by Harry’s voice continuing to come out of his phone. Harry looked down to where it had been wedged underneath is arm and was now where we could hear it again. I couldn't care less about the phone and instead focussed on nipping at a small patch of skin at Harry’s collarbone, he moaned and squeezed my hips.

“Neens,” He rasped, “I’m so completely down for what’s happening here, just … Just for god’s sake help me pause this stupid recording!” He was fumbling with the phone and the sheets and I laughed at his obvious distress, his breathing laboured and eyes wild in desire, “I can’t listen to myself talk while you’re naked on top of me and giving me a hickey.”

“Alright, okay,” I swatted his hand away and held the side button of his phone down, just resorting to turning the thing off completely. “There,” I heavily placed it in his hand to make a point.

“Brilliant, thanks,” He dropped the phone over his shoulder behind him, forgotten, and ghosted his fingers over the bare skin across my neck, “Hi, fiancé.”

I bit my lip and his hands worked back underneath the covers and went straight for the backs of my thighs, “Hi.”

+++

Author will do tricks (more chapters) for praise

#hina #fic: twenty good reasons #1dff #one direction fanfiction #one direction fanfic #harry styles #harry styles story #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction

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slytherinbangchan · 5 years ago

Text

Pet cafe Worker!Felix

Tattoo artist au. Blog’s masterlist.

First member of the Pet Cafe Workers!Series

Warnings: smut, nsfw

-You don't know why did you allow your friend to take you out.

-But there you are walking around.

-You don't even know where you're going.

-'Omg, could you at least be happy to see me?'-Your friend asks.

-'I am. I just hate you took me out of my house'.

-'C'mon you'll like this new place'

-You sigh as your only answer.

-'Here it is'. They say.

-You look at the place and then back at your friend.

-'A dog cafe?'

-'Don't you like it?'

-'Ugh, I actually love it, I kinda hate you for being right. Don't you hate dogs tho?'.

-'Whaaat? No way. Let's go in already.'

-You look at them with a confused face. You'd swear they told you once about a dog biting them and that's why they don't like dogs.

-But anyways.

-You go in and first thing you see is a huge brown dog that runs towards you.

-'Hiii' You say, petting him.

-'Omg'. Your friend is hiding behind you.

-You look at them. 'Omg, I knew it. You are scared.'

-'No, I'm not. Shut up. I love dogs.' They try petting them and the dogs barks.

-Your friend shouts and you laugh.

-'He's just happy to see us. Don't be afraid'.

-They laugh uneasily.

-'Seriously tho, did we come here just because I love dogs? You didn't need to'.

-Well, turns out your friend genuinely wanted to make you happy.

-But also wanted to see the cute boys working there.

-Can't blame them tho.

-Cause those guys are freaking cute.

-Anyways, your friend gets tired of being around dogs at some point.

-But you just discovered a place you actually like to go.

-So every now and then.

-You save some money to go there and buy the dogs some treats.

-You just lie on the floor and let the dogs lie besides you.

-Sometimes this guy, 'Felix' comes around to ask if you're okay.

-You look at him and ask back why wouldn't you be.

-Every time the same.

-You wonder if he does it on purpose.

-Maybe he has to make sure you're fine cause it's part of his job.

-One day while you are there you notice one of the dogs is gone.

-So you ask 'Minho', one of the other guys, why is the dog gone.

-'Someone adopted him' He says, as he cleans up one of the tables.

-You're sad now.

-Happy cause the dog has a new family.

-But sad you won't be able to see him again.

-So there you are sitting on the floor.

-With a blank stare.

-Surrounded by dogs.

-Then this guy, Felix, squats right in front of you.

-'What's wrong?' He asks.

-You've never seen his freckles so close before.

-You tell him what's wrong.

-He smiles at you sweetely.

-'I see'.

-'What if someday they're all gone?' You ask him.

-'Yeah, you're right' He says. 'That'll be sad'.

-That doesn't help at all.

-'But, there will be new dogs. And the ones who got adopted will never forget about you'.

-That helps a little.

-'Is it part of your job to come and check on me?' You ask directly.

-He blushes and put two of his fingers on the side of his neck.

-Which you find kinda strange.

-'I-I guess it is'. He says. 'Gotta go now'.

-You don't think much about it.

-A couple months passes.

-You don't know why but you look at Felix more than the dogs now.

-Like you can't even control it.

-You're just chilling with the pets.

-And then suddenly your eyes are on Felix.

-Let's be honest he's pretty hot.

-Sometimes he catches you staring.

-Like a lot of the times actually.

-And he does that thing again to his neck.

-You like how he takes care of the dogs.

-His voice is so deep but he's so sweet.

-He just dropped the treats and all the dogs are running towards him.

-You're smiling like an idiot now.

-Seeing how he cutely tries to pick up the treats before they eat them.

-And Minho is mad.

-Felix is panicking.

-For some reason that makes him just more adorable.

-Then you realize.

-Holy fuck.

-You like him.

-This is terrible.

-He's so cute.

-You're just a walking mess.

-Fuck.

-It has been two minutes.

-But you already decided to try and forget about him.

-Now Seungmin, the manager is naggin about what happened.

-And Felix is just sitting with his head down.

-You laugh to yourself and go talk to him.

-'Are you okay' You ask, unable to restrain a little laugh.

-'Did you see that?'

-You laugh again. 'Yeah'.

-He sighs. 'I'm just a walking mess'

-'Nah, you're not'

-How can he feel like a walking mess? He’s fucking perfect.

-He sighs again.

-'Hey, don't be sad okay? You're pretty good at your job. The dogs like you'.

-'I like them too'.

-You chuckle. 'Right?'

-'Yeah. Thanks' He says, standing up.

-You smile at him and go back to your table.

-A while later he appears with a drink. 'That's on me'.

-'Why?'

-'For cheering me up'.

-'Ah, thanks. But you also cheer me up a lot of times'.

-'Do I?'

-You nod and he smiles.

-You don't come back to the cafe for a couple weeks.

-Mainly you have some stuff to do but also you wanna try and forget about Felix.

-And you think your plan has been successful.

-But then you see him again.

-And your heart skips a beat.

-Now it's worse than before.

-HOW CAN IT BE WORSE.

-asafdsdfagag

-NOW YOU'RE EVEN THINKING ABOUT NASTY STUFF.

-Anyways, you just sit there.

-He dropped the register's key and squats to grab it.

-You tilt your head as you watch him.

-Damn those thighs.

-You shake your head to try and get ride of those thoughts.

-It doesn't work at all tho.

-Right now you're just thankful you can't see his crotch cause the apron.

-You try and focus on the dogs.

-Then he comes to take your order.

-'Hi' He says.

-Your heart beating faster.

-'Hi'.

-'Haven't seen you in weeks'

-'Yeah, I had some stuff to do. But here I am with these babies.' You pet the dogs around you.

-'Would you go on a date with me?'

-Wait.

-What?

-'Hah' That's it, that's the only sound you make.

-He's doing that thing to his neck once again.

-'What did you just said?' You ask him.

-'Sorry, I've been wanting to ask you for a long time'

-You tilt your head to a side like a puppy again.

-'Ah, seriously. I'm sorry but I really wanna date you and I was afraid you may not be comming back again in a long time so I had to ask.'

-'Why would you wanna date me???'

-'Why? You're so sweet and cute to the dogs and to me, why wouldn't I?'

-'Just say yes'. Seungmin is shouting at you from the cash register.

-You nod at Felix and he smiles shyly.

-You meet him later that night.

-But you don't do a lot on that date.

-Just walk around and you know, get to know eachother better.

-He's so nice.

-Actually he's pretty shy.

-He says he use to get nervous when people talk to him.

-That's why he does that thing with his neck.

-He tries to check his pulse like that.

-So there's no kiss on the first date.

-On the second one tho he grabs your hand while he walks you home.

-You wait for your kiss again.

-But then you remember he's shy.

-So you kiss him.

-And he's so happy after you do.

-On the third date you just stay home watching movies.

-You sit on his lap and kiss him again for hours.

-You keep seeing him on the cafe btw.

-And on the fourth date he stays the night.

-You can feel him getting hard as you straddle him in bed.

-You kiss his neck softly.

-He smells so good.

-You ask him if he wants to go further and he nods.

-So you give him a last kiss and go take his joggers off.

-Exposing his hard cock.

-He covers his face with his hands.

-And you chuckle at how cute he is.

-Then you lick the precum of his pretty pink tip.

-Making him shiver.

-You use your hand to help you out as you start blowing him.

-He sighs, and whines.

-And little by little his hands fall to the mattress.

-So you can see his face again when you look up.

-You can feel him getting even harder as you do so.

-His hands grasping on the bed sheets as you deepthroat him.

-He let's out a little whine letting you know he's reaching his high.

-You release him and watch him cum all over you.

-He has to catch his breath back but still he pulls from you to kiss you.

-He flips you over so you're in the bottom now and he starts kissing you again.

-His hands carressing your inner thigh.

-And you open your legs for him.

-His fingers traveling to your panties.

-He rubs your clit without taking them off till he can feel your wetness through them.

-Then he takes them off and keep rubbing.

-The feeling of his fingers and your own fluids.

-You arch your back as he introduces one of his fingers inside you.

-But he keeps rubbing your clit with his palm at the same time.

-You're loosing it right now.

-'Felix' you moan out as he watches you squirm in pleasure.

-'Yes, baby? He says, with that voice of his. 'Did you want something?'

-'I...Want you...To... f-fuck me...' You manage to say.

-He smiles to himself and gives you a little peck. 'Of course my love.' He says.

-Then he makes himself some space between your legs.

-He enters you slowly letting you feel all of his lenght.

-Then start pounding into you till he gets to a very nice pace.

-Your nails sinking on his back.

-He hisses as you do that.

-But he likes it.

-Your moans growing as your orgasm starts to build up.

-He cums before you do filling you entirely.

-But you're so close he just keeps going till you do too.

-A lot of lazy kisses and cuddling for the rest of the night.

-He's not that shy anymore after all that.

537 notes · View notes

glassnightfury · 4 years ago

Text

Cry Havoc (Let Slip The Dogs Of War)

Chivalry Fell On Its Sword

ao3|ffn

Fishlegs sits down next to Astrid on the porch step. He holds out the green plaid flannel Hiccup had been wearing before.

“Do you wanna give this to him,” he asks, “or should I?” She takes it and pulls it on.

“I’m cold,” she says by way of explanation. They sit in silence for a minute before she remembers the red plastic cup beside her. She can feel Fishlegs’s eyes boring into her, so she downs the drink Hiccup made her. The rum warms its way down her throat.

“How do you know so much about it?” Fish whispers. “Are you a werewolf, too?” Astrid huffs, blowing a chunk of her curtain bangs out of her face.

“No, I’m not, and I don’t,” she says, remembering the certainty she felt as she guided Hiccup. “I just… guessed, I supposed.” It feels like lying. She wishes she were certain now. She rubs her eye. “Hiccup took his keys. Can you drive me home?”

“Yeah, I just,” Fishlegs starts. “I just think he’s gonna need help.”

“Okay, we can talk on the way home.” She stands, abandoning her cup there on the porch, and Fishlegs has to jog to keep up with her when she starts toward the street robotically.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The closer Hiccup gets to the New Berk Preserve, the more he can feel the pull in his gut. It guides him through the trees, over the chain fence marking the land, and straight to the heart of the forest. As the moon rises, so too does the anger in his chest. It builds itself into a rage he’s never felt before, but he has nowhere to put it. So he keeps running for miles. Even when he hears another pair of feet fall into step behind him, and even as the footsteps grow ever closer.

His sprint is abruptly stopped when the creature slams into him, throwing him to the ground. His rage immediately finds a target, and he starts slashing until a tattooed face appears in his field of vision.

Eret.

Hiccup fights harder, getting his good foot under Eret’s torso and kicking out. Eret flies back and slams into a tree, but he gets up almost immediately as if it never happened.

“Hiccup,” he calls, “come on, I can help you.”

“Help me?” Hiccup yells. “You did this to me. And I don’t know how or why.” Eret shakes his head. He reaches to grab Hiccup’s arm, but Hiccup dodges.

“I didn’t do this to you. I couldn’t have, even if I tried.”

“Then. Who. Did,” Hiccup shouts between breaths. He falls to his knees. The pull in his gut becomes a burning, and he’s covered in enough sweat to feel like he’s been swimming. His whole body lights up in pain as if he’s been dumped in a bonfire.

“I would like to know that as well, Hiccup,” Eret says, and he starts taking slow steps toward Hiccup. He stops, turning his ear to the wind. “Run,” he says.

An arrow lodges itself into a tree above Hiccups head. A high buzz fills the air until blinding white light erupts through the darkness of the woods. Hiccup screams as his retinas burn. Something lodges itself in his arm. Eret pulls Hiccup off the ground.

“They’re already here,” Eret says, and he hauls Hiccup away.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“In the last two years,” Astrid starts, “I have found 5 dead bodies.” Fishlegs drives slowly through town. “I don’t know why, and I don’t understand how. But I know it has something to do with this place.”

“With Hiccup?” Fishlegs asks.

“Maybe.”

“So this date, is it like recon?”

“No,” Astrid snaps. “It was a date. Gods, what kind of asshole do you take me for?”

“It was just a question,” he answers.

“It was a rude one,” she huffs.

“To be fair,” Fishlegs says, “only one other person has ever dated Hiccup.” Astrid opens her mouth to ask who, but she thinks better of it just in time. Fishlegs looks embarrassed by his own words.

“The same night that Hiccup lost his leg, I was bitten by something,” she says. “It looked like a person with glowing red eyes. Whatever it was, Hiccup drew its attention away from me. Toothless alerted the searchers for both of us.”

“A werewolf,” Fishlegs breathes. “You were bitten by a werewolf. Like Hiccup.”

“But I’m not a werewolf,” Astrid insists. “Why not?”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hiccups blood rushes through his ears. The arrow is still in his arm, the shaft broken a couple inches from the wound. He can’t stop himself from clawing at his chest with his actual, real-life claws, despite the deep, bloody gouges it leaves in his skin beneath his ruined t-shirt. The anger builds there, alongside the panic crawling up his throat. He feels empty and all too full at once. He wants Toothless.

“You’re bleeding on my leather seats,” Eret says from the driver’s seat of the Camaro. Rage rushes back into Hiccup’s brain.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Hiccup snarls, though he doesn’t know who’s controlling his voice. His hand shoots toward Eret’s face of its own accord, but Eret is faster than Hiccup could ever hope to be. A sickening snap accompanies Hiccup’s arm breaking. He hears himself scream. Eret pulls the arrowhead out of Hiccup’s skin.

“You’ll be fine!” Eret snaps. “You’re already healing.” He doesn’t let go of Hiccup’s arm until the bone and skin knit back together, but it takes only seconds. Hiccup yanks his arm back, cradling it delicately. The car screeches to a halt in front of the derelict Berk County train depot.

“What are we doing here?” Hiccup demands, a growl forming deep in his chest. “Who were they?” Before he realizes what is happening, Eret is out of the car and dragging Hiccup with him into the depot. As soon as Eret throws Hiccup to the dust-caked floor, Hiccup is back up to slash at his throat, but he catches Hiccup’s hand. Eret twists the hand and uses the momentum to shove Hiccup to the floor again.

“You need to get control of yourself,” Eret says, and he pushes Hiccup’s arm harder against his back. It should be painful given the broken bone from only moments before, but the only thing Hiccup can feel is the unbridled fury clawing its way out of his skin and the cool, gritty marble beneath his face.

“I don’t know how,” Hiccup admits. It sounds like a threat when it comes out. He follows it with a futile attempt to break out of Eret’s iron grip.

“Find an anchor,” Eret says, “find something—or someone—to ground you. To hold you to your humanity.”

A memory comes to Hiccup’s mind unbidden.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s a coyote trap,” Hiccup’s dad said, gesturing to the metal jaws ripping into a rake handle. “They’re illegal, but people try to get away with them.”

“Why are they illegal?” Hiccup asked. His dad smiled at him, as if he asked the right question. Hiccup felt pride bloom in his chest.

“They’re cruel, Hiccup,” his dad said. “Inhumane. They trap the animal’s leg, leaving it either to starve to death or to wait for the hunter to come put it out of its misery.” Hiccup felt tears spring into his eyes at that, but his dad took his hands and guided them to the trap.

“One hand on each side,” he said, his hands resting over Hiccup’s. “Push the levers as close to the jaws as possible. It’ll give you more leverage. Deep breath. Put all your weight into it.”

Hiccup sucked in all the air he could and pushed, angling his body over the trap. Nothing happened.

“Don’t worry,” his dad said. When he pushed on the levers, they opened easily. “You’ll grow bigger and stronger. Someday this will be easy for you.”

Hiccup can feel his face change. His teeth shrink. The hair on his cheeks pulls back under his skin. The bones that had changed his brow and nose rearrange back into their usual place.

Don’t worry, his dad had said. You’ll grow bigger and stronger. Someday this will all be easy for you.

Hiccup knew then and knows now that his father had been speaking of things like pushing, pulling, running, and lifting, but it still sent a wave of calm through the rage in his chest.

“I got it,” Hiccup says, and his voice is shaking, but calm. “I got it.” Eret releases him. Hiccup rolls himself gingerly, taking in his surroundings as he sits up. The rusty train car in the middle is half on the tracks. The grand columns and marble floors hint at art deco designs, but as is usual in Berk County, the circles and x’s give a Scandinavian edge to the perfect arcs. Everything is covered in a thick layer of dust and grime.

“I really don’t feel good,” Hiccup says pathetically, and he feels bile rising to his throat.

“I know, okay,” Eret says, slowly approaching again. “I’ve been where you are. Let me help you.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

“Thanks, Fishlegs,” Astrid says as he pulls into her driveway. “Text me if you hear from Hiccup.”

“No problem,” he answers. “And, uh, same.” He looks at her with a question in his face.

“What?” she asks.

“Are we gonna do this?” His fingers tap on the steering wheel.

“Do what?”

“Become sidekicks to a Teen Wolf?”

“I am not a sidekick,” Astrid huffs. “Are you?” Fishlegs blinks.

“I don’t know.”

“Friend doesn’t equal sidekick,” Astrid says, and she gets out of the car. “We can aspire to more.” She shuts the door behind her and steels herself for the barrage of questions from her parents.

#fanfiction #my fic #hiccup #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #astrid hofferson #teen wolf au #madeline writes #astrid #toothless #cry havoc #ch #glassnightfury

6 notes · View notes

szopenhauer · 4 years ago

Text

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? Debbie Downer should be my name lol

What would you love to drink right now? I’m drinking water rn, second mug in a row, my belly is going to explode

Is that an alcoholic drink or not? it’s not this kind of water :P

Oh good. What would you love to eat right now? I’m not hungry...

How many meals do you eat a day? depends

Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? sometimes

What are you favorite type of jeans? I’d say skinny even tho I don’t wear jeans anymore ^^”

Do you eat your nails? wait what swallow? ewww I don’t even bite them :o

Do you enjoy making or taking surveys? taking them more

Name something that is blue that you like Sadness from Inside out

Name something pink that you like PYNK music video by Janelle Monae? XD

If you could have one more pet, what? meh

If you could sleep next to a tame wild animal what? woah

Would you rather have an owl or a snake? both are cool

What would you name it? Bowl for owl and for snake either Ksysio or Wonsz żmieja?

Do you eat the ice in your drink? no

Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? I had one cigarette in my whole life but I still keep a package in my room :x

Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? fb, I don’t care for insta

Do you watch beauty videos on You Tube? nah

Do you like Star Wars? love

What kind of surveys do you like the most? interesting, not just YES or NO questions, I want to go deeper

Have you ever dropped something down the garbage disposal on accident? omg luckily not

What CD would you never buy for yourself? anything Justin Bieber for sure

Is sex a must in your life? absolutely not

Would you rather be cute and ugly or hot and stupid? cute and ugly? lmfao ok

Are you evil in any way? everyone is, more or less

Would you rather be a clown or a garbage man? can’t decide :D

Would you rather be a rockstar or a librarian? librarian but rock star ain’t that bad of a choice ;)

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? again? I just got this question on ask today and that really made me anxious

Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? sigh... Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? yep but not to my room as I’m super ashamed of it, it’s not what I really want, it’s more like a storage room for mine and my mom’s things, I wish I could move and out and do what I want instead of cleaning this mess just to have it ruined days after, not that I have money now to fix things the way I imagine my bedroom to be someday :( Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? yesterday was better but today I got a T-shirt so that was a good moment Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? hospital

Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? blergh, r u kidding me?... Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? constantly Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? not because of me but someone somewhere definitely has that name on them for another reason How would you feel if you got the person you liked? I'm in a relationship Is there anyone who likes you? it seems If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? of course What’s the first thing you heard this morning? you mean a sound (doorbell) or words (I don’t remember)? If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? not possible Are you young or old? young, at least according to my ID and being childish Are there always other fish in the sea? there are but maybe I don’t want them and/or they don’t want to be catched etc. What can your tongue do? pfft Do chickens have feelings? sorta Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? ... So how are you feeling today? not good enough Where is your sister right now? don’t know nor care What do you smell like? it’s so hot, I smell like sweat and I can’t stand it but I can’t shower all day long What colour is your mum’s hair? grey When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? last week Do you like fire? as an element of magic in fantasy movies Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? she’s noisy in different ways Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? that’s a lame stereotype Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? they’re useless but one time I bought Moomin ones because I’ve been walking through the store and they fallen right under my feet and there was nobody around nor the shelf/aisle that they could come from so it was weird and I love Moomins so I took them home (I paid) and they’re probably stored somewhere Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? what do you mean? Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? my gf apparently - in a cute way - that’s surprising for a teetotalist like me What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? my tee came! When was the last time you saw your father? he just left for work and I was waving to him through the window which is our tradition What if your partner went through your cellphone? I have nothing to hide Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? my parents and sister

Robert Downey Jr. — Bet you have a crush on him. he’s handsome but I’d prefer to be him instead of having a crush on sex I’m not attracted to

What would you do if you were to get stuck on a ski lift overnight? ... freeze? and pee myself Have you ever received an anonymous gift? one time when we were really poor that we couldn’t afford food someone left a package under our door, knocked and ran, bless this person whoever knew we have hard times :* What kind of laugh do you have? many kinds that happen randomly Will you have a Valentine next year? I have a bigger chance than any other year before Macaroon or a cupcake? cupcake Did you kiss or hug anyone today? hug my mom and my dad too Are you currently waiting on someone to do something for you/to you? kinda Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I’m not in an abusive relationship but I know those who are as it’s common and it’s really sad that ppl think only beating makes relationship toxic Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? I’ll stay home Do you find your school to be loaded with hot guys or not so much? I remember E.W. once said that we have a lot of elves around because LOTR movie had very ugly ones as we did in high school, I tried to find that pic someone posted back in the day but I failed, it was from the council from what I remember

Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? mostly I just keep my eye on my father and my mother all the time because of covid (and not only because of it) if that counts Are you plotting anything at the moment? another chapter of the book? Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? because they were evil to them, it wasn’t about ME If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? she moved out :3

Do you have a therapist? no longer Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? yeah, in middle school I was getting awesome grades in math class What do you think of the last person you texted? we’re dating Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? I’ve never done cocaine wtf

Do you post pictures were you look good but your friends look bad? I ask them first Are you friends with any of your exes? me and one of my exes are together Are you a whiskey person? I’m a no alcohol person

Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music? tiny bit, wasn’t that bad

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? I have not Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? not in a movie theater Are you somewhat of a perfectionist? somewhat Do you like sour candy? by Lady Gaga not eat Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? but I don’t drive Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers? brrrr no way Are you good at painting nails? am not but it doesn’t matter Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations? doubt it What word should you really probably remove from your vocabulary? kurwa Do you rip out the page if you make a mistake writing, or cross it out? cross it out, if I ripped the page then there would be nothing left Do you use a full length mirror daily? we don’t own one Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them? I think they don’t match my style and they’re uncomfy in a long term Mac or PC? PC Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth? sorry but probably not Do you ever actually make your bed? when I have guests Do you make an effort to eat healthy? yup The last time you kissed someone, what color of shirt were they wearing? black, that’s easy What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall? food If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? money because one regret won’t help me and even might make things worse Are you taller than your mom? almost 10 cm What would you do if your best friend told you they were moving today? my gf - break up my dad - try to stop him or move out with him You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? no problems Do you have any ‘naughty’ photos on your phone? 0 Could you handle living with a male roommate? my dad, no one else What were you doing at 10:00 this morning? waking up Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? who said we aren’t texting? Do you think you’ll actually live a happy life with somebody? don’t feed my paranoia Connection between you and the last person who messaged you? love Where is your biological father right now? bus/job already Who else is in the room with you? I’m alone Water with ice or no ice? no ice Are you wrapped in a blanket? too hot for that

Has anyone done anything nice for you today? I’m thankful for all those nice things people do for me - big or small The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do? took a walk

Do you usually bring or buy a lunch for school? bring

The last time you had sex, was it in their bed or yours? their

How old were you when you figured out you were definitely straight, or bi, or whatever? middle school was the beginning

Do you fit in at work or in school? I was always an outcast

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Oh God, Ew.”? 99% of time

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? nope

Is there someone you need to forgive? *annoyed sound*

What’s your brother(s) / sister(s) names? personal

Suppose you saw your crush/bf/gf kissing another girl/guy, what would you do? why tho

What is your favorite color for bridesmaid dresses? whatever bridesmaid wanna wear besides white

Do you have a secret crush right now? it’s no secret

Do you know anyone who doesn’t want to have kids? me

Would you rather visit Tokyo or Paris? dunno

Do you think you would like living in New York or Chicago? Why or why not? too overcrowded/loud etc.

Name 3 celebrities who are the same height as you. Lady Gaga, Ellen Page, Reese Witherspoon

Are you happy with your height? I’d like to be taller, not too much tho

Do you have big or small hands? small

Have you been baptized? I have been

Have you ever been abused in any way? sadly

Do you like unicorns? they’re fine

Is there one book you have read over and over again because it’s so good? if so, which is it? I don’t reread books

Do you play games on your phone a lot? recently I became obsessed with LOVE ISLAND game

Have you ever had to put out a kitchen fire? my mom took care of it but it wasn’t a big deal tbh

Have you ever been kidnapped? wut

Do you have anything glow in the dark in your room? stars

Do you wear a scarf, if so, what does it look like? not rn

Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? mhm but not too long

Do you get breadsticks with your pizza? breadsticks and pizza? it’s like bread with bread - no thx

Did you ever have a waterbed? I hate those

What toy from your childhood do you miss? rubber toys?

Did you sleep in late today? yes

When was the last time you were disappointed? this day

Do you like listening to love songs? I like a variety of music which includes love songs

In your group of friends, are you the smart one, athletic one, etc.? funny mom friend... ok, fine, a dad because my puns are daddy jokes

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? no but they said bad things about me behind my back

Did you ever watch the show Full House? with my sister What was the last thing that scared you? how I feel physically Do the librarians at your library know you by name? they do

What ten people would you most likely bring on a roadtrip? 10 ppl?! shoot me...

Is there anything you’re really stressed out about right now? health issues

What was the last thing that made you cry? I’m about to cry...

What are the last three songs you listened to? Crystal Castles - Suffocation frnkiero andthe cellabration - neverenders Major Lazer - Be Together (Feat. Wild Belle)

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taylorftparamore · 5 years ago

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i cannot believe this but apparently i need to now include the actual bridges that got saved because apparently y’all have forgotten that taylor swift bridges are actually REALLY hard to pick between to begin with. (remember that there still needs to be one more cut)

“my heart, my hips, my body, my love, tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch. gave up on me like i was a bad drug now i’m searchin for signs in a haunted club. our songs, our films, united we stand. our country, guess it was a lawless land. quiet my fears at the touch of your hand, paper cut stains from my paper thin plans. my time, my wine, my spirit, my trust, tryna find a part of me you didn’t take up. gave you so much but it wasn’t enough but i’ll be alright it’s just a thousand cuts.” (death by a thousand cuts)

“remember when you hit the breaks too soon? twenty stitches in a hospital room, when you started crying, baby, i did too. when the sun came up, i was lookin at you. remember when we couldn’t take the heat? i walked out, said, ‘i’m settin you free’ but the monsters turned out to be just trees. when the sun came up, you were lookin at me. you were lookin at me, oh, you were lookin at me. i remember. oh, i remember.” (out of the woods)

“you are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry, never impressed by me acing your tests. and all the girls that you’ve run dry have tired lifeless eyes cause you burnt them out. but i took your matches before fire could catch me so don’t look now. i’m shinin like fireworks over your sad empty town.” (dear john)

“i’m drunk in the back of the car and i cried like a baby comin home from the bar. said, ‘i’m fine’ but it wasn’t true. i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you. and i snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate. and i scream for whatever it’s worth, ‘i love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?’ he looks up grinnin like a devil!” (cruel summer)

“is this the end of all the endings? my broken bones are mendin, with all these nights we’re spendin up on the roof with a school girl crush, drinkin beer out of plastic cups. say you fancy me not fancy stuff, baby all at once this is enough.” (king of my heart)

“distance, timing, breakdown, fighting, silence, train ran off its tracks. kiss me, try to fix it. would you just try to listen? hang up, give up, and for the life of us we can’t get back.” (sad beautiful tragic)

“and i can still see it all in my mind. all of you, all of me intertwined. i once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden (golden). and i can still see in all in my head. back and forth from new york, sneaking in your bed. i once believed love would be burning red but it’s golden like daylight. like daylight. like daylight. daylight.” (daylight)

“this is me praying that this was the very the first page, not where the storyline ends. my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again. these are the words i held back as i was leaving too soon... i was enchanted to meet you. please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you. please don’t be in love with someone else, please don’t have somebody waiting on you.” (enchanted)

“tonight i’m gonna dance for all that we’ve been through, but i don’t wanna dance if i’m not dancing with you. tonight i’m gonna dance like you were in this room, but i don’t wanna dance if i’m not dancing with you.” (holy ground)

“hold on to spinning around, confetti falls to the ground, may these memories break out fall. would you take a moment? and promise this? that you’ll stand by me forever? but if god forbid fate should step and force us into a goodbye, if you have children someday please tell them my name. tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine. long live the walls we crashed through, i had the time of my life... with you.” (long live)

“and i remember that fight, 2:30 am when everything was slipping right out of our hands. i ran out crying and you followed me out into the street. braced myself for the goodbye cause that’s all i’ve ever known. and you took me by surprise. you said, ‘i’ll never leave you alone.’” (mine)

“and it’s not theirs to speculate if it’s wrong. your hands are tough but they are where mine belong. and i’ll fight the doubt and give you faith with this song for you. cause i love the gap between your teeth and i love the riddles that you speak. and any snide remarks from your father about your tattoos will be ignored, cause this love is ours.” (ours)

“you’ll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down. someday when you leave me, i’ll bet these memories follow you around. you’ll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down. someday when you leave me, i’ll bet these memories follow you around.” (wildest dreams)

“and so it goes, you two are dancing in a snowglobe round and round. and he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown. and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars and why i’ve spent my whole life tryna put it into words.” (you are in love)

let’s do a vote on the best taylor swift bridges

#LIKE???#yeah i guess it sucks that atw got cut cause atw is a beautiful bridge #but let's not act like none of the songs i kept didn't deserve it too

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groundzerobakugo · 6 years ago

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incendiary // k. bakugou; dragon king

gender in this imagine will be female, if you wish for me to create this with male or genderneutral pronouns please feel free to send a message my way! i would be happy to help!

word count: 4k

summary: you’d always been fascinated by the stories of the dragon king bakugou katsuki, always adventuring to find the boy throughout your childhood. but after being left behind to fend for yourself, you accidentally wander into the explosive boy’s territory.

...

growing up, you’d heard the tales of mythical creatures that used to roam the earth.

dragons that lived in the mountain tops and hoarded treasure in caves, burning alive those that dared cross them with their fire-breathing, elves that kept to the forest and glided along with an elegance, bewitching all of those with their beauty if their gaze were to ever fall to the graceful creatures, faeries that hid in lush gardens and meadows, causing mischief to those who came across the little creatures.

you were awestruck, staying up late and sneaking out to the bonfires of your camp just to listen and learn of these fascinating stories. you would often dream of these creatures, but the one that caught you the most was the story of the dragon king.

he was said to be young, a kid just a year or so older than you were, but his power was rumored to rival the gods. they said he could speak to the dragons, tame them, riding them high into the skies and then sleeping with them in their caves. the storytellers said he himself was a rare breed, one of the last few alive, if not the only one, who could speak the dragons’ language.

bakugou katsuki--the feared dragon king.

you would often find yourself seeking out the young dragon king in your travels; you wanted to know if it was just a story, much like the unicorns and mermaids in other fairytales. but like all kids, you had to grow up someday. you were nearly an adult when you realized that dragons no longer existed, and elves had hidden themselves away that everyone doubted they were truly real, and the faeries were just imaginary beings that were invented to entertain little girls and boys.

years passed, and you were approaching your twentieth birthday; you had long since abandoned your family--or rather, they abandoned you. they had other mouths to feed, and they couldn’t afford to watch over you while they had other little ones. you didn’t mind much, you had no desire to be a travelling merchant, but rather an explorer, just as your childhood self would have wanted. still, it hurt to be left behind.

but often times, surviving on your own wasn’t all that easy. you had quickly learned of the world’s unforgiving and hostile ways, a lesson that was taught by hard times. lessons that erased any childhood innocence you possessed.

you walked quietly down the beaten path with your hood over your head; the cloak gave you little sense of warmth, and you needed to set up camp soon. the sun was beginning to dip into the hills, the sky painted with pinks, purples, and oranges. your stomach growled, and you bit your lip. you didn’t have anymore food, and you didn’t have anymore bows left to catch a rabbit or squirrel.

you dipped between the trees as you left your path in search of a clearing--somewhere you could set up your makeshift tent and a fire to keep you warm. you grabbed a few spare twigs and branches for your fire on your quest to find the clearing, and you did so within the last few minutes of daylight. you pitched your tent and set up a circle of stones.

the clearing wasn’t much--it certainly wasn’t home--but the makeshift camp would have to do; you lit the fire and sat down in front of it. the flames licked at your fingers as you placed your hands in front of the burning fire.

the forest was quiet, only the faint sounds of skittering animals or the chorus of crickets could be heard. the full moon gave a slight shine to the forest, lighting the tops of the trees and the camp within the small clearing with its glow. the crackling fire burned steadily, the occasional pop merging the symphony of the forest. the winds howled amongst the trees, and the wolves joined in.

you sighed to yourself and stood, turning to go into your tent to rest until morning, but you stopped.

there was a new noise in the forest, one that sent the hairs on your arms standing on end. it was a low growl that seemed to surround you, and it seemed close, too close for comfort.

you weren’t sure what the creature was, and you cursed to yourself as you had no means of defending yourself. collapsing the tent and throwing dirt at the dying fire, you hid within one of the trees; your arms shook as you pulled yourself up, but you certainly weren’t going to die tonight, you couldn’t.

there was the faint sound of approaching footsteps; you held your breath, the ground seeming to shake under each step. but you’d nearly given away your spot when you stifled a gasp. a dragon, bright red and menacing, stepped into your little clearing. its red, slitted eyes swept the area, sniffing the air. it turned its head behind him, and you followed its gaze to a shadowed figure, a human figure, stepping up beside it.

“someone’s definitely been here,” he said, “you’re definitely right about that.” he knelt beside the fire and felt the ashes. “these are still warm, they must be close, and they’re trespassing into my fucking territory.”

the figure looked up at that moment, and you saw his face as the moonlight caught it. it was a man, looking no older than you were; he had deep crimson eyes and disheveled blond hair. he was dressed with a long coat lined with fur, a few jewels lining his neck. there were a few scars littered upon his arm, small tattoos along with them.

flashbacks of childhood stories swirled around your mind; the stories of the dragon king, of the small child who could talk to the dragons and befriend them and tame them. but as you were distracted with memories, your hand slipped, and the only part of stability you had in the tree was gone. you shrieked as you fell to the ground, landing with a solid thud.

the talking between man and dragon stopped, their eyes scanning the area. “who’s there?”

you kept quiet, stifling a groan as you stood. your ankle was red and swollen, having broken your fall--curse your constant bad luck.

“i said, who the fuck is there?”

with the cloak over your head, you limped back into the clearing, “i-i’m sorry. i was only seeking a place to camp for the night, i didn’t know i was trespassing, sir.”

the man’s lip curled, “am i s’posed to believe that rubbish?”

your eyes widened, “it-it’s true! i’m just a humble traveler, i swear!”

he growled, footsteps approaching you and grabbing your wrist, “don’t fucking act all innocent! i bet you came because of those shitty stories, huh? wanted to see the damn dragon yourself? wanted to come and kill it for money?!”

you squeaked, “n-no--”

“quit lying!” he wrist wrapped around your neck and lifted you. you jolted forward, cloak falling from your head. his eyes widened upon seeing your face; you didn’t look like a hunter, you looked like an ordinary girl. but, looks could be deceiving. “tell me the fucking truth!”

you stared up at the man with fearful eyes, “i am! i am! i was just--”

“bakugou, let her go,” a soft voice spoke.

“like hell i would, kirishima, she--”

“look at her,” kirishima replied. “she doesn’t look like she’d be here to kill me. i don’t even think she could.”

bakugou glared at kirishima, his grip loosening enough for you to drop back down to the floor in a heap. you gasped and coughed, your own cold hands trembling against your throat as you struggled to catch your breath.

you jumped upon feeling a hand touch your shoulder, eyes snapping up to see another man; this one had red hair and a pointed smile, two little red horns adorning his head and large wings protruding from his back.

“are you okay?”

your words were stuck in your throat as you stared in awe at the man in front of you. it was another creature from your childhood stories--half dragon, half man, but still able to shift into the large beast and able to breath fire.

“miss?”

“i-i--”

“let’s just fucking go, kirishima,” the blond scowled.

the redhead turned, “we should keep her!”

your eyes widened, “k-keep me?!”

“you could come live with us in the mountains,” he smiled, “i mean, if you want.”

“this can’t be fucking happening,” bakugou pinched the bridge of his nose. “kirishima, you just want another human there because the fucking spring is coming up. let’s go, i wanna get home and fucking sleep.”

kirishima huffed, “we can’t just leave her here.”

“we can, and we are, you idiot,” he snapped. “now fucking shift back and take us home.”

“but--”

“no! now let’s--”

“wait!” you shouted, “i-i want to come with, please?”

the blond turned his glare your way, “and why the fuck would you want that? far as i know you’re still a threat.”

“i’m-i’m curious,” you admitted in a small voice and stood, your ankle pained as you remembered you’d sprained it. “and, as you can see, living on my own isn’t... isn’t--” black dots began to dance around your vision, and you stepped back as you felt yourself begin to sway. how long has it been without food? without water?

“oh, hell,” the blond rushed to catch, your form buckling as you passed out. “kirishima.”

the redhead nodded, “yeah.” he transformed back into a dragon, and bakugou clambered on with you in his arms. he knew there was something odd about how light you’d seemed, about how gaunt your cheeks were. he had to fucking take you in now, you couldn’t even fucking take care of yourself.

there was a soft pounding in your skull when you came to, and you attempted to sit up, only to have slight pressure pushing you back down. you opened your eyes slowly, getting used to the dim light of the cave as you looked around.

“lay back down, move too fast and you’ll pass out again,” a deep voice grumbled.

“wh-where am i?” you asked groggily. you looked over to see the blond you saw in the woods; bakugou katsuki, the boy from the stories.

“you’re in the grey mountains of rhovanion,” he replied.

you nodded, “oh.” slowly, you tried to sit up again, and he didn’t push you back down. “i--”

“here, drink this,” he murmured, handing you a small cup of water.

your eyes widened at the water, and you, realizing how parched your throat was, began gulping it greedily.

but it seemed to only piss the man off, and he snatched the cup back, “oi, oi, not so fucking fast! you’ll throw up, and i don’t wanna clean that fucking mess up.”

you gave him a meek smile, “sorry?”

“tch,” he glared.

he gave you the cup back, and you took small sips this time, only handing it back when your throat no longer burned. “thank you.”

his brow quirked upward, “don’t thank me, thank that stupid dragon. he’s the one that found you in the first place.”

you nodded to yourself, making a mental reminder to thank the dragon the next time you saw him. “um, you-you’re bakugou katsuki then?”

the man looked at you, “so you’ve heard of me.”

“i used to hear stories when i was growing up,” you replied. “a boy that could talk to the dragons and ride them, it was my favorite story. i used to go on adventures on my own to find you, and lo and behold, it’s when i stop believing you’re real that you appear. thank you for saving me, even if it was your dragon.”

you didn’t miss the faint blush that spread across his cheeks, “whatever. just know that once you regain your strength, you’re out of here.”

“i understand,” your voice was quiet.

bakugou stood and turned towards the opening of the cave, disappearing and leaving you on your own. you felt bad to have bakugou and kirishima looking after you, and you would be grateful once you were able to leave them be to live the rest of their live in peace. if your own family didn’t want you around, you could only imagine how badly those two wanted you gone.

you sighed to yourself, struggling to stand on your own feet as you limped to the mouth of the cave, craving the feel of the warm sun on your skin. the forest seemed especially green and lush in the late morning sun, the vast area intriguing you. you wanted to explore, see the wonders that this forest had to offer, but in your weakened state, it wasn’t realistic.

“you really should be laying down.”

you turned quickly, seeing the redhead smiling over at you, “oh. i-i know, i just wanted to feel the sun.” your eyes wandered past his face, and you stared at the wings coming from his shoulder blades, and the red-tinted scales that glittered in the light.

“wanna touch ‘em?” he asked.

“o-oh!” you jumped back and looked away, “n-no. i’m sorry for staring, i was just curious.”

“it’s alright,” he gave you a lopsided grin.

you gave him a tentative smile back. “uh, kirishima, right?”

the halfling nodded, “that’s me.”

“i... i wanted to thank you, for saving me and all that,” you mumbled.

he waved the apology away, “it’s fine. didn’t cause us any trouble, even if bakugou makes it seem that way. he was just worried it was a hunter coming to kill me, you know?”

your eyes widened, “do people actually do that? that’s absolutely terrible.”

“yeah, apparently they’re promised a lot of money, and if there’s anything that i know best, it’s that everyone, even humans, love their treasure,” he replied. “oh, you must be hungry, yeah?”

at the question, your stomach rumbled, and you blushed.

“i’ll take that as a yes.” the two of you walked back into the cave, and kirishima helped you sit back down on the lump of furs that you had previously been resting on. “bakugou warned me not to give you too much, said that your human body needs to get used to food again. that you’re malnourished, or something of the sort.”

“th-that would make sense,” you mumbled.

“here,” he handed you a small bowl of berries.

you thanked him and ate alongside the dragon in silence, “so, kirishima, is bakugou always that... that--”

“mean?”

you nodded.

“not really, he’s actually pretty nice after a while, you just have to get used to his cold exterior,” the redhead said. he smiled to himself, “he actually saved me, too, you know? he found me in the woods while a hunter was about to kill me and rescued me, and in turn, i’ve devoted my life to returning the favor.”

you pictured a small bakugou and kirishima together, and it made your heart happy.

it wasn’t long until bakugou had returned; you weren’t too sure what he was doing out there alone, but kirishima assured you not to worry too much about it. he was prone to leaving on his own, and he always returned.

“oh, you know, you never told us your name,” kirishima gasped. “i’m so sorry, i feel so rude.”

a bead of sweat dropped from your forehead, “it-it’s okay, really! my name is (last name, first name), but you can call me (first name). i’m not too fond of my last name.”

“(name)...,” the dragon tested it out on his tongue, “i like it, it suits you! does it mean anything?”

“not that i know of,” you replied, stifling a yawn behind your hand. you’d only been up for a few hours, so why were you so tired already?

kirishima noticed the yawn immediately, “if you’re tired, we could take a nap together? as cold as we come off, dragons are actually quite cuddly.”

you smiled, nodding, “then i’ll take you up on that.”

you had stayed with the dragon king and his loyal dragon for almost a week; you were finally starting to feel a bit better, some color returning to your skin and cheeks no longer gaunt. you ankle was healing nicely, and you suspected it wouldn’t be long until you had to leave the boys and their cave, probably never to see them again.

kirishima was usually the one to keep you company during the days; bakugou was usually out and about, whether it be hunting, collecting firewood, or simply roaming around his domain. you learned that the entire forest had been claimed by the blond, and kirishima wasn’t the only dragon within miles of trees. the adult dragons were wary of you, but you had won over the hearts of the baby dragons as you watched over them with kirishima.

it was like a childhood dream, and if your old self could see you now, you knew she would be throwing a temper tantrum the moment you had to leave. the truth was you didn’t want to leave; in just the few short days, you’d grown to care for both boys.

you learned quite a bit about the two of them; how bakugou was from a clan of draconian-tongues, and he had the magical ability to cause explosions from his hands, a gift that came with his tongue. he said it was a power move, to assert dominance over dragons that disagreed with him. and kirishima would teach you about the dragons, how their scales were practically stab-proof and even in his human form, he could summon his scales to harden his body from attacks. the pair were interesting in their own ways.

“so, (name), you got mine and bakugou’s story, what’s yours?” the redhead asked as you two ate lunch. the afternoon sun had peered into the cave, and it cast a glow you could only describe as magical.

you laughed, scratching the back of your head, “oh, uh, i-i don’t have much of a story, not one that i think you would want to hear. it’s a bit depressing.”

“nonsense,” he replied. “i really do want to hear it.”

you sighed, “o-okay, well, i used to live with a big family, some members not even blood-related but just wanting to join in. i had two older brothers and four younger ones, only one sharing the same mother i did. they were all boys, too, and they were usually put to work from a young age, so i didn’t see my older brothers very much.

“you see, they were merchants, and we traveled from village to village trying to round up enough money to feed everyone,” you said. “sometimes we’d come across storytellers, and even though i was told to watch my younger brothers, i would sneak out to hear the stories. dragons were the ones that i was drawn to more often, but... but actually, bakugou was my favorite story. the tale of a boy, wild, living amongst the dragons and riding in the sky with them. i would often go on adventures to find him, but no such luck.

“it’s funny, once i stop believing, that’s when i find the man of my childhood dreams,” a small laugh bubbled from your lips. “it’s probably what got me in trouble so often, as i’d wander off too much for my parents to keep up. and... and one day,” you sighed, feeling your chest tighten, “one day, i guess i strayed a little too far from home, from the camp, and when i came back, they were gone. i understand why they did it, i don’t blame them for it, but it still sucks to be abandoned. that’s probably why i’m such a mess--they could teach my brothers survival skills, but they never taught me, and i was the one they let fend for themselves.”

kirishima stared at you, mouth agape. he couldn’t believe it; he thought only dragons abandoned their young, and he knew that bakugou had left voluntarily from his own clan. so to hear that your parents left you alone, it was heartbreaking to the halfling.

“see? depressing and uninteresting,” you sniffled, willing away the tears.

the redhead was quick to scramble to your side, “no, no, please don’t cry. i’m sorry that your family abandoned you. that’s... that was really mean of them, and i can’t believe they left you like that.”

“it’s fine!” you tried to give him a wide smile, one that hardly reached your eyes. “uh, i’m-i’m gonna go for a walk. sorry.”

you stood quickly, a slight limp to your step, and you left the cave. you spun around to head towards the little hideout kirishima had showed you the previous day, but you ran into bakugou. quickly, you mumbled out a million apologies, not seeing the shocked expression on the blond’s face. just before you could continue towards the hideout, he grabbed your wrist.

“bakugou, what--”

“i’m sorry,” he murmured.

“oh, you-you heard then?” you asked.

he nodded.

“sorry about that,” you replied in a weak voice. “but hey! there’s no need to worry, soon you won’t have to deal with me anymore, my ankle’s almost fully healed. i’ll be out of your hair before you know it.”

he had no time to reply as you walked off, soon out of view. the blond grumbled to himself, cursing your damn parents and how foolish they were to leave a naive, little girl to fend for herself. you were weak in his eyes when he’d found you, both physically and mentally, but upon overhearing your story that you spilled to his dragon, he realized he was wrong.

“oh, bakugou, welcome back!” kirishima greeted happily. “how was your--”

“she’s not leaving.”

the redhead’s brows furrowed, “what...?”

“i overheard everything, and she’s not leaving,” the blond stated once more.

“oh,” he sighed; he gave his king a small smile at the change of heart.

you had returned before dusk, the sun just beginning to dip into the hills. your cheeks were stained with dried tears, and your eyes were puffy and swollen. after all, you just spent the last hour of the day crying about your parents who didn’t even give a damn if you were dead or alive. your brothers were probably no different.

“oi, we got shit to discuss,” bakugou greeted as you stepped through the cave and approached the small fire they had growing.

you nodded and sat next to kirishima, the redhead pulling you into his chest and wrapping his arms around your waist. you were thankful, as the outside winds had chilled you to the bone, and kirishima always radiated warmth.

“about you leaving,” the blond started. he handed you the small plate of food he’d made, and you thanked him.

“i’ll be gone by morning, don’t worry,” you replied. “i--”

he held up his hand, “shut up, and let me speak for a damn second.”

your mouth shut obediently, and you looked up at the dragon king, waiting for what he had to say.

“you’re not leaving, not tomorrow, not the next day, or even the fucking day after that,” he said. “i overheard your shitty story, about your shitty parents, how they fucking left you behind and shit. you’ll fucking die out there if we let you back out on your own, you were half dead when kirishima fucking found you, starving and dehydrated.

“so, you’re staying, and i don’t give a damn about what you have to say about tha--”

you cut him off as you tore yourself from kirishima’s grasp, your arms wrapping around the boy’s neck as you hugged him, “thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you!”

kirishima stifled a laugh at the blond’s flustered face, arms up in the air as he didn’t know how to respond to the hug. he wasn’t used to affection, especially not from the opposite sex, and he wasn’t sure how to feel.

you pulled away, a blush on your cheeks, “sorry, i just, thank you.”

his own cheeks were still red, and he grumbled, “yeah, yeah. whatever. just know you’re going to have to earn your own damn keep! no fucking lounging around the cave while me and kirishima do all the hard work.”

you beamed at the blond, nodding enthusiastically, “of course! whatever you need me to do!”

kirishima grabbed you roughly into a hug, “told you, he isn’t such a bad guy after all!”

“oi, were you talking shit, shitty hair?!”

...

part two.

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notfunnydean · 6 years ago

Text

I’m a sucker for you

Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel

Warnings: Mentions of drinking

Word Count: 3.148

Square Filled: Sucker - Jonas brothers

Summary: Dean knows he and Castiel are a good team, but he only talks about his feelings for Castiel when he’s drunk and doesn’t remember their kisses in the morning. Someday Castiel has enough.

A/N: This is for the @spnsongchallengebingo I’m a huge sucker (haha get it) for this song and I’m glad I could write something about it for this challenge. Fun Fact: I listened the whole time to the song while writing and broke my own heart a bit, too.

Link (if posted on AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18055055

“Dean!”

Dean looks up when Castiel yells his name and he smirks when he sees that Castiel is throwing his angel blade towards him. Dean catches it rather easily and turns around to stick it right into the demons face.

The demon screams and Dean waits until all the light bursts out of him. The body falls to the ground and Dean looks back to Castiel. The angel looks a bit bruised, but not hurt too bad. Dean throws the blade back to him.

“Nice work.” Dean says and grins. He knows how good Castiel and him are as a team now. He's usually best when he's hunting with Sam, but that changed in the last months. Sure, Sam is still Dean’s partner most of the time, but it’s different with Castiel.

“It was rather risky.” Castiel replies and with a barely noticeable move of his wrist, the angel blade is gone again. Dean shakes his head and looks around. A dozen demons lie around them in the grass.

“Yeah, but we’re a good team, so I wasn’t worried.” Dean says and Castiel frowns for a moment, before his expressions smooths into something more soft. He smiles a bit and then the bodies around them vanish into thin air.

“You think we are a good team?” Castiel asks and Dean rolls his eyes. He gets his own knife, from where one of the demons had kicked it and then winks at Castiel. [Watch out for the cut]

“I think we go together better than birds of a feather. You and me.” Dean says and he doesn’t know why he said that. Normally, he has his feelings way more under control. Maybe it’s the adrenalin. He shrugs at himself and walk to the small path, that would lead them back to Baby.

“I don’t understand that reference.” Castiel says behind him and Dean snickers a bit. It wasn’t even a reference, but him making fun of Castiel’s wings a bit. So maybe he is lucky that Castiel didn’t understand it.

“Doesn’t matter.” Dean says and he walks for the next minutes in silence. It’s december and there is a thin layer of snow on the ground. Dean shudders a bit, even though he wears enough layers. Now that the fight is over, he feels the cold deep in his bones.

“Dean, are you alright?” Castiel asks when Dean rubs over his arms to keep himself warm. Dean grunts something as an answer, because he wouldn’t tell Castiel that he is cold, when something weird happens.

Dean can’t see anything really, but he has a weird feeling and he turns back around to the angel. Castiel is staring at him and like always, Dean feels himself helplessly staring back.

The snow around them begins to melt and Dean snaps out of the staring, when a water drop from one of the trees lands on his nose. Castiel grins at that and Dean shakes his head, while he tries to hide his own laugh.

“Changing the weather?” Dean asks and starts to walk again. This time Castiel is a bit faster and walks right next to him, instead of trailing behind him. Dean kicks a stone away and sighs happily. He feels warmer already.

“I would never.” Castiel says and Dean snorts. Yeah sure. It’s still cold, but he feels much better now that the snow is gone. The path is a bit smaller towards the end and Dean can already see Baby, when Castiel’s shoulder brushes against his own. Dean shudders again. No matter how cold it is, with Castiel around he feels a heat that shouldn’t be allowed in December. Dean knows it has nothing to do with Castiel’s angel powers.

“So how about we celebrate this successful hunt?” Dean asks, when he reaches Baby and opens her door. Castiel tilts his head to one side, he doesn’t seem too happy about the idea.

“How?” Castiel asks and Dean grins over Baby’s roof at him.

“In a bar of course, I saw one on the way here and it looked like we could have some deserved fun there.” Dean waggles his eyebrows and he tries to ignore the lump in his throat, when Castiel rolls his eyes at him.

“For all I care.” Castiel mutters and Dean sighs.

“Hey Handsome.” Dean mutters into Castiel’s ear and he nearly falls flat on his ass, when Castiel takes a step to the side. He looks extremely uncomfortable and Dean squints at him.

“Dean, please stop.” Castiel says and he sits down on one of the chairs against the bar. Dean frowns and takes another sip of his beer, before he sits down on the empty chair beside Castiel. Not without stroking over his thigh.

“You don’t want me to stop.” Dean says grinning as he orders himself a whiskey. He has been drinking beer and whiskey all night long and he is really starting to feel it, not that he hates it. He loves being drunk. It’s easier.

Castiel doesn’t answer this time and Dean frowns a bit, before he leans closer again. He just wants to be near his angel, but apparently Castiel is really not happy with him today, Dean pouts.

“Dean, why are you doing this?” Castiel whispers and he looks almost pained when he looks into Dean’s eyes. Dean pouts a bit more and Castiel rolls his eyes again. He seems to do that a lot around Dean.

“What am I doing?” Dean asks back and he drinks the whiskey in his glass in one go. His right hand finds Castiel’s thigh again but this time Castiel shoves it away. Dean doesn’t understand why Castiel is being so angry today.

“Forget it.” Castiel says and he gets up from his chair, before Dean can say anything. Dean watches a bit helplessly how Castiel actually leaves the bar and winces when the door falls shut behind him.

Maybe Castiel was angry, because Dean was dancing with that girl earlier? But that was just fun and nothing serious. Heck, he had danced with many people before, even on top of cars. Why was Castiel angry about that?

Dean drinks another whiskey, before he decides to follow his angel. He doesn’t want Castiel to be angry with him. He wants to be in his angel’s arms again.

Dean gets up and he stumbles out of the bar when he doesn’t see the last step of the stairs. Luckily, he doesn’t fall on his face, because there is Castiel again. Already holding him. Dean sighs happily.

“What are you doing, Dean?” Castiel wants to know again and he sounds even more angry now. Dean closes his eyes and takes another deep breath. Sadly, as soon as he stands on his feet again, Castiel gets some space between them.

“I follow you through the dark.” Dean answers and he shudders from the cold. He doesn’t even remember where he left his jacket, but as soon as he thinks that, he is already cuddled in it. Castiel’s doing for sure.

“Why?” Castiel presses even more and Dean shrugs. He always wants to be near Castiel, but normally he tries not to show it at all.

“I can’t get enough.” Dean says and when Castiel leans against Baby Dean takes a few steps toward him again. Castiel doesn’t move away and Dean presses his face against his neck and inhales deeply.

“Dean.” Castiel says and his voice sounds even deeper than usual. Dean shudders and presses a kiss right over his pulse. Castiel groans quietly, but as soon as Dean’s lips stop touching his skin, Castiel pushes him away again.

“Cas.” Dean practically whines, but Castiel shakes his head.

“You don’t want this.” Castiel says and it comes out way too sad. Dean isn’t sure why his angel is so down today, but he doesn’t like it.

“Of course I want it! You’re… you’re like the medicine in the pain. Cas, I need you.” Dean says and Castiel laughs, but it doesn’t sound happy. It sounds almost as if he’s crying.

“So I’m only good enough to heal you?” Castiel asks back and Dean presses his hand over his shoulder, where Castiel healed a deep wound just a few hours before. Dean shakes his head. Castiel didn’t seem to understand.

“No! You are like the tattoo inside my brain. Permanent.” Dean says and Castiel presses his eyes close. Dean looks at his shoes, he can’t think straight. Too drunk for real sentences. His hangover tomorrow will be bad, he is already getting a headache now.

“I don’t understand, Dean.” Castiel says quietly and Dean nods.

“I meant you are like… always in my head. I can’t stop thinking about you.” Dean says and he hopes that Castiel understands it this time. For a moment Dean could swear that there are tears in Castiel’s beautiful eyes, but when he blinks, they are gone.

“I wish.” Castiel says and it comes out bitter. Dean ignores that and tries to get Castiel to cuddle him back. Castiel sighs very loudly, but when Dean presses up against him, he finally puts his arms around Dean’s hips.

“Baby, you know it’s obvious.” Dean whispers quietly and he finally kisses Castiel. It's been weeks since he kissed him, too long. It takes Castiel forever to kiss back, but Dean sighs happily, when he finally does.

“You are just saying it because you are drunk.” Castiel says when he ends the kiss and Dean wants to protest that he isn’t drunk, but he even sways a bit on his feet. Maybe Castiel is right, but his feelings aren’t fake.

“Don’t complicate it.” Dean whispers and Castiel denies the next kiss, when he turns his head. Dean kisses his cheek instead.

“I don’t understand why you want me.” Castiel says and something in Dean’s chest aches. How could Castiel not understand? He is the most perfect being in the world. Dean knows that he isn’t good enough for him, surely Castiel knows that as well. So why is he saying things like this?

“Because I know you and you know everything about me.” Dean says and that is not even one percent of the reasons he loves Castiel, but he means it. Nobody else in the entire world knows that Dean is bisexuel. Sure, Charlie or Sam might believe that he is bi, but only Castiel knows it.

Dean would trust Castiel with more than just his life, he would trust him with his heart too, but somehow it’s hard to remember that when he is not drunk.

“And tomorrow, you will pretend this never happened, like all the other times.” Castiel says and Dean shrugs a bit awkwardly. Castiel’s hands are still on his hips and Dean puts his arms around Castiel’s neck.

“Maybe I mean, I can’t remember all of the nights. I don’t remember when you’re around me.” Dean says and he giggles. It’s true. He forgets about the whole world when he is with Castiel.

“I love you.” Castiel whispers and Dean blinks when he feels something wet against his cheek. Ugh, maybe it is snowing already again. Dean nuzzles his face against Castiel’s.

“I love you, too.” Dean answers and he kisses Castiel again. He never wants this to end. But somehow deeply in the back of his mind he knows that it will end. He concentrates back on the kiss.

“Then you will understand, that I will leave you.” Castiel says and vanishes. Dean falls hard against Baby and then the world goes dark around him when he hits the ground.

“And he just left?” Sam asks and Dean groans. They went over this for so many times already, since Castiel had left two weeks ago. Dean feels miserable.

“Yeah, I told you already. We beat the demons, went out for a nice drink and he was gone.” Dean says and he blushes, while he takes his mug to fill it with coffee. Sam frowns at that, but doesn’t call him out on his lie.

Dean remembers exactly what happened that night. How they kissed, how Castiel didn’t want him at first. He remembers how good it felt to say those three words out loud for the first time. The feeling he had, when Castiel had said them first.

He remembers the pain he felt when Castiel left. He lied to Castiel, he remembers every night, everything that ever happened between them. Dean was always over the moon, when he and Castiel kissed, but as soon as he woke up the next morning, he felt ashamed, and continued as if nothing happened.

And he had hurt Castiel with it. Dean swallows.

“Sam?” Dean whispers, when he turns his back to his little brother. He is still holding the coffee pot in his hands and he looks down to his now filled mug. He can only divine his reflection, but it’s enough.

“Yeah?” Sam asks a bit distracted, since he is still reading the new books about ghouls he found. Dean takes a deep breath. He should do this, it’s the right thing. He nods to himself.

“I like guys.” Dean says quietly and he still isn't looking at Sam. For a moment, he thinks that Sam didn't hear him. But then he feels a hand on his shoulder and Sam slowly turns him around.

“I know.” Sam says easily and Dean takes another breath. It’s shaky this time and Sam’s smile goes even softer. He isn’t angry with Dean. He knows and he is okay with it. Dean sniffles.

“I like Cas.” Dean whispers and this time Sam hugs him. Dean is a bit surprised, but he hugs Sam back as hard as he can, while he tries to hide his tears. Sam doesn’t laugh at him and even strokes his hair.

“I know. You should tell him.” Sam answers and Dean struggles not to cry even more at that, because he told Cas already and got rejected anyway. At least it feels like it, even though Dean knows it’s his own fault.

“Y-yeah.” Dean says and sniffles a last time, before he breaks the hug and rubs his sleeve over his eyes. It’s embarrassing to break down over this, but he knows that he needed to say it out loud.

Sam just nods again and then goes back to his book. Dean leaves his coffee untouched and goes back to his room. He would try to talk to Castiel again. He hadn’t even dared to pray to Castiel at all the last two weeks.

Dean sits down on his bed and fiddles with his hands. He is really nervous, but he hopes Castiel would listen to him.

“H-hey Cas, I just… I wanted to apologize. I know that I hurt you and I was a coward… but I was afraid and I know it’s stupid, but I promise that I will do better. Please believe me… I really need you here.” Dean stutters and he even clasps his hand for his prayer.

The words only come slowly over his lips, but he feels also a bit relieved. He knows he said it before, but it’s the first time being sober.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean jerks hard when he hears that and when he looks up the angel is standing in the corner of his room. He looks like he's still hurt and Dean wants to go over there and kiss him better, but he knows he is not allowed to do that.

“C-Cas.” Dean says and he awkwardly gets up as well. Castiel doesn’t move.

“Are you drunk again?” Castiel asks and he is angry. Dean shakes his head, but he knows that he deserved that.

“No. I mean it… just say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly.” Dean answers and Castiel seems a bit surprised at that. Dean takes another step towards him while Castiel is just watching him. Still looking too angry.

“Why should I believe you?” Castiel asks and Dean has no idea. He fucked this up and Castiel has every right to be angry with him. Hell, if he never wants to talk to Dean again, even that would be understandable.

“Because, I love you. Any road you take, you know that you’ll find me. I mean it Cas. No matter what happened, I was there and I will be there in the future. For every second if you want me.” Dean says and he takes another step forward. Castiel holds his hand up and Dean stops.

“I heard those words before and back then they didn’t mean anything.” Castiel says and his voice slowly turns from angry to sad. Dean wishes he could take the pain away from him.

“I know… I remember, Cas, every single time and I don’t regret it, please read my thoughts again. I promise!” Dean nearly begs and, if Castiel wants it, he would even go down to his knees.

“You remember?” Castiel asks and his blue eyes fill with tears again. Dean wants to smack himself.

“Yeah… I was just afraid. I’m not even sure why and I’m really sorry, Cas. I’m a sucker for all the subliminal things we did before, like our staring and I loved everything we did while I was drunk. I always was aware of this. I was just too afraid!” Dean says and his breath hitches.

What if Castiel still doesn't want him?

“And now you aren’t afraid anymore?” Castiel asks shyly and this time it’s the angel who takes a step forward. Dean’s heart speeds a bit faster.

“No. No one knew about you or my feelings to you and I wanted to keep it that way, but as always, you’re making me break my typical rules. I already told Sam and… I will tell the whole world, if you want it.” Dean admits and Castiel breaks out into a smile.

“And heaven?” Castiel asks quietly and Dean laughs.

“Heaven and hell. I'll tell everybody.” Dean promises and when Castiel holds his hand out, Dean Finally goes over to him and hugs him. Castiel’s hands find his hips, like they did so many times before, but now it feels different.

“Tell me again.” Castiel whispers and Dean kisses his cheek, before he nods.

“I love you.” Dean says and Castiel’s laugh is the most beautiful sound he ever heard. Castiel kisses him slowly and this time it’s Dean who cries into the kiss. Just a few drops, but he can’t help it. Castiel would stay with him, even after what he did to him.

“Just promise me that you will always remember me and never pretend to forget again.” Castiel says, still close enough that Dean can feel the words on his mouth. Dean shakes his head.

“I won’t, because I’m a sucker for you.” Dean laughs and winks at him, but Castiel kisses him quiet.

Which is a lot better anyway.

#spnsongchallengebingo #destiel #destiel fic #Destiel fanfic #my writing

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amyscascadingtabs · 6 years ago

Text

please don’t say I’m going alone

He hates the Universe because he has a single hour left of hugging a girlfriend who is now asleep by pure post-crying exhaustion, an hour left of trying to memorize every little detail about her. He hates the Universe because there's only a month left until their one year anniversary and now they won’t get to celebrate it together, because she just spent all too much time away from him undercover in prison in Texas and now they're being separated again, because her face is puffy and pink from crying and he thinks his might be as well.

Or, what went through Jake’s head before he said goodbye to Amy for Florida.

This was actually kind of a semi-prompt from @alwaysandbeyond who wondered aloud in the tags why Jake chose the selfie of Amy he has with him in Florida and prison and said that someone should write a fic about it. Truth be told I’ve always been curious about this so I… wrote the fic. Hope you like it and apologies in advance for the feels

read on ao3

Jake has two hours before the first of four cars that will take him and Holt to witness protection in Florida arrives. He spends them both at Amy’s apartment. There’s no use in packing if he’s not allowed to bring anything with him; no use in anything but hugging his girlfriend so tight he fears he is squeezing her small frame to pieces, all while telling her repeatedly he loves her and won’t forget about her. Not a great promise, considering he has the memory of a goldfish. But he remembers emotions. He remembers anything that caused a strong emotional response at the time or still does. So yes, he’ll remember the woman who has made him feel love in all its different kinds - from aching, unrequited infatuation to the effortless and tender-hearted commitment they’ve reached after almost a year. He’ll remember the fierce but quirky, competitive but lovable detective who just told him she loves him so much and wants to move in with him until he’s old and gray-haired and rotting away in a retirement home in Coral Palms. “They’ll get you out of Witsec”, Amy keeps on repeating for their first ten minutes of their two last hours together, while Jake can’t stop imagining the nightmare scenarios of never getting home again. “We’ll get you out. We’ll catch Figgis. You’ll come home. You have to come home.” He agrees with her. Both of them know nothing's for sure and maybe they really will never see each other again, but last hours are better spent pretending than accepting brutal realities. There will be plenty of time to do so in Florida, he assumes. Amy cries. Long, heaving sobs shake through her body and her tears dampen his t-shirt when she’s pressed tight against him, the two of them together on her bed for the last time in a long while. He tries not to think about how her bed would have been their bed someday soon if Figgis hadn’t called when he did. We should move in together. Haha, said the Universe. Very funny. Jake officially hates the Universe. He hates the Universe because he has a single hour left of hugging a girlfriend who is now asleep by pure post-crying exhaustion, an hour left of trying to memorize every little detail about her. He hates the Universe because there's only a month left until their one year anniversary and now they won’t get to celebrate it together, because she just spent all too much time away from him undercover in prison in Texas and now they're being separated again, because her face is puffy and pink from crying and he thinks his might be as well. He knows he won’t forget her, but he also knows he cannot possibly remember everything, because there's so much to notice about Amy Santiago he’s discovering new things every single day. Some days it’s the cutest constellation of moles at the small of her back, some days a brand new meal she can actually cook without burning the kitchen down or poisoning them both, and one day she even tells him the back-story about a tiny dot in white ink on the foot; a relic from one of the few times she got drunk at a college party and wanted to know what getting tattooed felt like. Other days he discovers how the shape of her eyebrows change marginally sometimes because she claims it’s impossible to fill them in exactly the same every day, or how the sparkling gleam in her eyes when he tells her he loves her is different from the one she gets when she’s really excited over a case, but not all too different from when she’s truly engaged in re-reading the Harry Potter novels for the umpteenth time. (Jake’s not yet sure if he should take it as an insult or a compliment to mean roughly as much to her as he’s discovered those seven books do. From the amount of Ravenclaw or Hogwarts-stamped paraphernalia he keeps finding in various places over her apartment, he’s hoping for the latter.) No photograph could capture the all-consuming focus in her expression when she watches Jeopardy or how melodious her laugh sounds when it's untamed and authentic. Her quick-witted comebacks or the adorable way she scrunches her nose when Hitchcock says something distasteful couldn’t ever be framed into a picture, no matter how skilled the photographer. He knows he’d find every single one perfect, but they still wouldn't capture enough. Maybe he should follow the orders someone gave him and abstain from bringing anything personal to Florida. On the other hand, maybe it could be helpful to have something physical there to ground him. Something to look at to know she’s real and exists somewhere out there, something to remind him she’s more than an intricate and hyper-realistic daydream, might help during all the months and maybe even years he’ll be stranded without her. It’ll have to be a photograph. A picture won’t capture any of her intelligence or humor, but there’s a chance it could capture a sliver of the ethereal beauty she is and right now a chance of a sliver is all he needs. The question is simply which one. He has a ton of pictures of her in uniform or with other members of the squad, all unusable. A picture of her at work would be too difficult to explain should someone see it. No cop pictures. There are even more dorky selfies of the two of them together, making funny faces or even trying to hold the camera up and kiss at the same time, but right now only seeing them so free and happily unknowing is an all too painful sting. And a picture of him with a girl would be even yet more suspicious if he got caught; there’d be no way for him to deny ever knowing the woman in the picture and he’d be screwed. No couple pictures. It doesn't leave him with much. For a moment he’s scared no picture on his phone lives up the necessary requirements, until he swipes far enough to reach a collection of shots he’s nearly forgotten. The pictures are from approximately two months into their relationship, back when everything was still new and a little intimidating. They’re taken in his apartment, and if he closes his eyes, he remembers the moment clear as day. ~ nine months earlier “There are so many Die Hard pictures in your camera roll. Honestly, Jake - aren’t some of these identical?” Amy’s on his couch, taking up most of the space with her head on one armrest and her feet in his lap. They’re looking through each other’s phones for some trivial reason mostly to do with boredom; it began with Jake needing help to spot spelling errors in a text, and now they’re having too much fun looking at pictures in the other person’s gallery to stop. “I don’t know that for sure and I’m not deleting any of them until I have proof!” He tickles her left foot with his free hand, the corners of his mouth twitching when it makes her giggle. “And you have way too many pictures of laminated documents to get to tease me about Die Hard.” “I’m confident I could prove some of these are the same. And lam' jobs are important! I have a blog!” “And I follow said blog! Because I’m an awesome supportive boyfriend!” “Then where are all the pictures on your phone of me, huh? The ones you show your college buddies when you’re having a beer together and bragging about the attractiveness of whatever girl you’re hooking up with?” He can tell she’s trying to fake seriousness, but she keeps interrupting herself with fits of laughter. “Isn’t that what all white heterosexual cis men do when they meet up?” “Amy Santiago, how dare you assume I’m straight?” He’s the one laughing now, his grin growing wider from the sight of hers. “And I have plenty of pictures of you. I think. I had to delete some because I was running out of space for Die Hard stills.” “Maybe I should solve the issue. I’m deleting all the Die Hard stills I know you have doubles of and replacing them with selfies.” “Real mature, Ames.” His eyes light up when an idea hits him. “Ooohh, wait - will there be selfies of you in just a bra? Without one?” “Yeah, I’m the immature one of us two right now”, she scoffs, but the smile on her lips lets him know she’s not really mad. “And no, there won't, because I’m classy. And afraid of you leaving your phone on your desk and Charles somehow finding them.” “You know he’d just be ecstatic I had them.” “That makes it worse. Now, I need to get to work.” She sits up straight and holds out the phone a little bit in front of her so it captures part of the wall behind her as well. “This is serious business.” Jake lets the camera click once, twice, before he dives forward and into the frame. The sudden impact of his weight against her makes Amy fall to the side, and the next few shots come out blurry as he attacks her with a little sloppy but mostly playful kisses. “You’re ruining the pictures”, she whines. “Nah, I’m making them better”, he claims then and puts the camera app on timer before pressing another kiss to her lips. “Now I can show my hypothetical college buddies pictures of me kissing you, so they’ll know you’re for real.” “That would be an issue?” “Oh yeah, they would never believe I was actually dating you. You’re way too pretty.” He swipes through the collection of pictures of them kissing they’ve taken now, showing her the few of them that turned out reasonably sharp. “You’re way too pretty!” “You’re prettier.” “No, you are - oh god, we really are that horrible lovey-dovey couple everyone hated in high school, aren’t we?” Amy hides her face in her hands. “What have we even become?” “Doesn’t matter, because these pictures are hella adorable. I won’t even delete them for more Die Hard stills.” ~ He desperately wants to take one of those cheesy pictures with him to Florida. Even in the less sharp ones, it’s evident to anyone with a functioning pair of eyes how happy they are, and it makes Jake curse silently when he remembers that happiness is being taken from them now, picked up and dumped right into a coursing river of destruction by Figgis. (He should’ve just become an accountant or something equally mind-numbing because at least then he would never have to leave her.) But a picture of the two of them together is too risky and too revealing of his past, so he options for the second best thing - one of the few selfies Amy captured before he joined her. She looks considerably more serious in this picture than in the next one, her lips more a shy smirk than the wide grin she has in the pictures with him, but she looks gorgeous enough for him to want to look at it forever. More importantly, it’s a reminder the next pictures exist. It’s a fragment of a memory of better times, and it’s all he’s brave enough to bring. There’s a buzz from the Bluetooth printer on the desk in Amy’s bedroom as the picture begins to print. Her head shifts a little from where it’s resting on his chest, startled by the sudden noise, and he very nearly starts crying again, because in fifty minutes he’ll be separated from her with nothing more to keep than the selfie he already knows he’ll be staring at until he’s memorized every inch. He’s not going to forget her.

#my writing #b99 fic #b99 fanfiction #jake x amy fic #jake x amy fanfiction #sorry for the feels guys

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