#remember to back up your account kids
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Had to start over in PokĂŠmon sleep đ´ đ add me!!
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#logged back into my old wattpad account#i wish i didnt! /j#jcâs cawing#digging up some interesting memories#i joined seven years ago???? 2018????#i thought it would be earlier ngl#yknow im surprised i didnt get into any other typical 2018 fandoms besides mcyt#crazycraftâŚ..#the amount of rpf i read at that time was crazy#deadass remember reading ldshadowlady x dandtdm fanfiction#i was a weird kid man#how do i have eleven followers what#THE KPOP FANFICTION. OH MY GOD đđ#if you mention bts around me im pretty sure iâll go into cardiac arrest#im surpised i cant find anything undertale related since i had a fixation on that while i still used wattpad#i shipped ash and gladion ?????#dont know how to feel about that one#WHY AM I BEING RECOMMENDED DNF ONESHOTS.#âIt has sixteen years since House and Stacy have been drovicedâ ??? đđ#looking at house md fanfics rn#blatant plagiarism! alright!#why can nobody on wattpad spell correctly dawg đđ#im lowkey trying to find this old mcyt fanfic that i read but i think the author deleted their account âšď¸âšď¸#ARCHIVE YOUR THINGS MAN!!!!! sometimes people look back in seven years and think about ur fic and wanna read it and cringe!!!!!#oh i GOTTA see some hamilton fics#IM FUCKING XRYINGG#literally so stupid to be laughing over tjis but idc đđ#HELLO?????#heh⌠yandere laurens⌠đđ#crossposted ao3 fic spottedâď¸âď¸
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My mom always complaining about how I never spend time with her.... ma'am the last time we had a serious conversation you told me you thought i was making traumatic memories of my childhood up just to demonize you
#i straight up asked her ''do you really think im a liar? do you think you raised me to be a liar?'' and she said ''yeah i guess so'' đ#literally would rather live in fantasy land than have a conversation where she takes accountability for hurting me#its always bc she had a hard life and couldve made mine harder and everything im upset about is because of a man#aint no man tried to drag me by my hair out of the room because i refused to stop talking about how uncomfortable i was with a violent man#moving in! nuh uh girl that was YOU. and aint no man busted down my door on multiple occasions to beat my ass for#*checks notes* not wanting to continue an emotional conversation after i had already started crying and wasnt able to communicate#no sir that was YOU. that was all you and aint no man was even in the house during those times#and definitely no man ever told me that i was manipulating you and being selfish for telling you that letting a man move back in after he#broke into our house and attacked you made me feel unsafe and made my life worse.#no man brought up how traumatizing ur childhood was and then threatened to send me to live with ur rapist daddy#when i said id like to spend the summer with my dad if my only alternative was living with you and a man who threw knives at your head#and tried to strangle you several times#no man fucking did those things to me. no man ever told me i wasnt allowed to be traumatized by his violent behavior bc he had it worse as a#kid. YOU said that to me. many times. every time i ever brought up my pain to you. and you still fucking do that#you sprayed windex into your mothers eyes when you were 23 during a fight but if i start yelling after you push me to talk to u#and then insult me when im honest then suddenly its ''i Never acted as bad as you did and my parents were so much worse''#no. i fucking remember girl. i was alive for that. you were a nightmare and your parents deserved it#but you werent always a peach to me and when i talk about that its not an insult its the fucking truth#and i cant come to meet you where youre at because youre no longer in the thick of a traumatic and dangerous situation#you and your man are settled down and u felt safe enough to marry him and you run the house and earn all the money#and you've done a lot of work to heal yourself and be better but that man and i had to meet you were you were at when you were at your worst#in order for you to feel safe and secure enough to start that process. and now this is Not me at my worse#i shielded and protected you from my very worst because i always felt like if you saw your kid coming undone it would hurt you#but if you cant even meet me in the middle now then we cant have the relationship you want. it would be a lie#it would be a lie and it would be a betrayal of myself. bc i cant be honest with you right now#every time i try you take it personally and we get into a fight. so dont act like my distance and privacy#is some sort of slight against you or a punishment. i am trying to keep the peace
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My professor was demonstrating Adobe's Project Neo and unenthusiastically showed us the AI integration. (He was working in a 3D rendering program AND streaming Discord on a fucking MacBook)
And he lost the ability to use his keyboard.
And I said, "That's what happens when you use AI"
And he said, "yeaahhh... probably"
#i think i love him#HE. WEARS. FUCKING. GARTERS FOR HIM GOT DAMNED SOCKS#im just afraid to try.... and not entirely for fear of rejection.#what if I DO end up in a relationship and like.... I abuse him on accident (trying to get my bipolar managed. it's still MY problem but I do#i do not purposely HURT people when my moods get drastic. You can accidentally abuse someone but you MUST take accountability. you MUST be#aware of your OWN problems and not hide behind bipolar as an excuse... I learned the hard way after much pain)#I am not inherently abusive. I do not like the thought of people hurting. I try to spread love and happiness...#but my bipolar and autism get in my way. and I am working to manage it.#i think he likes me back tho#the body language and the eye contact............ always speaking to me even when there is no reason to like...#idk#ai sucks#YO! i just remembered something fucking COOL! THEY FOUND STEM CELLS IN MENSTRUAL BLOOD!!!#science is trying to learn how to utilize the stem cells that menstrual blood contains#one of the main issues tho is ethics and how this advancement could be used to harm menstruating people#will men lock us all up and harvest our menstrual blood (probably not... They're too immature about it but like) idk#science is cool#it may also lead the push to move to more sustainable ways of managing menstruation!!! WHAT IF WE COULD SELL IT?! (money is fake)#he's reaaaalllly HOT like i am NOT kidding!!
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nearly broke down when I remembered I had these wips and couldn't find them amongst my many other wips. thought i lost them when my hard drive wiped itself cleaned :'D
#wips#LN#agata#my little sun đĽş#(sorry. long tags warning ÂŻ\_(ToT)_/ÂŻ)#no im still not over the hard drive incident. i will never be over it orz. BUUUUT!#let this be a reminder to always backup your works. twice. thrice. on spare google accounts. on phones. on micro sd cards ect. BACK IT UP!#damn. the second one is probably over a year old. almost done. just needed a few details. but now? i really am my meanest critic.#crying. just randomly remembered going over the mexican calendar of saint's with my aunts and uncles and smiling#at the fact that my grandma just picked their names based on the patron saint that corresponded with their date of birth#which is why the ''manaĂąitas''âthe mexican happy birthday songâmostly has the lyrics ''dia de tu santo'' (day of your saint) in place of#''dia de tu cumpleaĂąos'' (your birthday). im sure it's still in trend. especially if you dont have a name or dont want to think#of one. like ''eh. i have a kid now. but no name for it. let's take a look at the calendar'' adsjfdgkkl#i bring this up cause while agata over here DOES have a name she does NOT have a canon birthday. and agata's name appears on said calendar#falling on feb. 5. though i kinda want her birthday to be on dec. 23. just for the sole fact that#nidhogg's falls on dec. 22 (sometimes the start of the winter solstice) and louie's falls on dec. 24 (a christmas eve baby 𼺠such a gift)#i just think it'd be hilarious for them. i can imagine them using the birthday card to not do anything and then midnight strikes and blam!#*snatching birthday kid's birthday crown* ''it's my turn with the birthday card. wash my cake dishesâ yesterday's birthday kid >:)''#(no im not normal about them. i dont think i ever will be :'D)#eh. will see how i feel about her birthday situation. at least it's not names i have to worry about ToT
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^ there's actually been studies that has proven to be the case. Transmascs are just as likely to be victims of violence as transfems. In a study I did with my prof during my masters in sociology (it was about violence towards trans folks in urban vs rural settings in the south), we found that news reports tended to erase the victim's transness frequently, either by referring only to their agab or by simply just using the name of the victim and omitting pronouns like 'he' or 'she'. In cases where the victim was undeniably trans, the news reports would use terms like 'crossdresser' or phrases like '[Deadname], who went by [ChosenName]'
However, this exclusively happened with transfems. We found no equivalent happening with transmascs. In fact is was very hard to find any news reports that would could comfortably say that the victim was transmasc. The few times we found any was because the family/friends of the victim would advocate on their behalf to get them correctly identified. However, we know this violence happens because when interviews were conducted in separate studies, it was proven to be the case, but the erasure is just that prevalent
You're a fucking moron :))
If bigots hate trans people equally they'd kill as many trans men and Theyfabs as they do Trans Women.
But they don't. You're so fucking scared of acknowledging you have modicum of privelage over us. Because you might have to be held accountable for the vitriolic bile you spill over the internet.
This isn't your safe space to wave-away critically thinking and have a pity party.
If you think I should die, why don't you come and do it yourself since you're so mad everyone before you has failed?
#just put my professional cap on for a sec#also because fuck the asker#If anyone wants sources I'd be happy to go digging to see if I can find them again#we did this study years ago and since then I lost access to my old uni google docs account after the uni got hacked#(four years of work lost đ)#but I'm pretty sure I can find them again#among the lost files was a research paper I did exclusively about violence towards transmascs#remember kids always back up your files on a thumb or external hard drive!#transphobia tw
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save a horse, ride your best friend â song mingi
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in which your best friend canât believe youâve never ridden a dick before, so he takes it upon himself to teach you.
best friend!song mingi x fem!reader. requested by anon. genre. slight fluff. smut. best friends to friends with benefits. warnings. explicit sexual content mdni, inexperienced!reader, thigh riding, fingering, use of a dildo, big dick!mingi, multiple orgasms, unprotected, creampie, swearing, nicknames (baby, angel, pretty). wc. 4k. rating. mature.
liloâs notes. this was requested a while ago but iâve been putting it off because⌠iâve never written anything about toys being used so uh, i was worried about the pacing and stuff. i wasnât sure if you meant for them to be in an established relationship, so i went for the fwb route. IMPORTANT!!!! i lost access to my google account bc of a stupid mistake, if you sent in a request through my google form and would still like me to see it, please send it as an ask <33 i remember a few of them, but do send yours in just in case!!
listening to. need to know, doja cat // if u think iâm pretty, artemas // moonlight, kali uchis
masterlist.
it was a regular saturday evening. you were on a video call with your best friend, mingi, talking about anything that came to mind as you each ate a bowl of ramen as if you were really in the same room. he really only lived a couple buildings away, a two minute walk at most, but actually joining you in your apartment didnât cross his mind until something interesting was brought up.
you werenât sure what led to the conversation, but somehow it steered into the direction of something less innocent as you found yourself talking about an embarrassing date youâd gone on a while ago. recounting the story, laughing together, soon turned into a conversation about what each of you like in bed.
âoh, itâs just amazing,â mingi laughed as he gulped down a mouthful of water, momentarily pausing his rambling about how much he loves it when someone rides his dick. he ran a his hand through his short, washed-out pink hair, âhonestly, my favourite thing ever since it probably feels just as good for whoever is, yâknow, riding.â
based on everything heâs said so far, you came to the conclusion that he was more into giving than receiving, that he got off on seeing all the pleasure he can give his partner. so, it made sense heâd choose to mention the fact that riding him would feel good. not that you would know.
âcan i admit something?â
he looked up from his bowl, sharp eyes looking almost hopeful as he nodded.
you looked around your kitchen jokingly, pretending to make sure no one sense was listened as you leaned closer a whispered, your hand cupping the side of your mouth.
âiâve never done that before.â
his jaw dropped at that, letting out a small laugh. âyouâre kidding.â
âno, really,â you insisted, going back to eating casually as if you were having the most normal conversation in the world with your best friend, âi really havenât done⌠much, so i canât confirm or deny your theory.â
âhuh.â he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he thought for a moment. his head tilted and it was then that you felt how warm your cheeks felt, how your thighs were pressed together under the counter. of course, he was well aware of the fact that you had much less experience than him, only knowing about two people you had slept with. but damn. he clicked his tongue and shook his head ever so slightly. âthat wonât do.â
furrowing your eyebrows, you opened your mouth to ask him what he had meant by that. he beat you to it before you could get a word out.
âi can⌠teach you, if you want?â
you blinked at your screen, resting your wrist on your countertop and gripping your chopsticks a little too hard. a silence followed his offer, though it wasnât awkward. in fact, he could see you genuinely considering it as you thought it over. eventually, you gave him a tiny nod.
âi mean,â you shrugged, shifting your eyes away shyly, âsure, i guess. why not?â
he grinned, trying to hide it as he shoved a mouthful of noodles into his mouth and shoved his bowl aside. he chewed, swallowed then got up and made sure to bring his phone with him. you recognised his hallways then bedroom as he walked through his apartment. âiâll be there in like 15, i need to buy something on the way. just wait there, and where something comfortable and⌠um, accessible.â
you nodded, despite your confusion, and he hung up. accessible? you looked down at your clothingâor rather, lack thereof. since you were home and not expecting anyone, youâd settled on wearing just a shirt you stole from mingi that was too large for him and much larger for you, and panties. you lifted the hem of the worn shirt, assessing how much of your dignity youâd lose if he saw your pink hello kitty undergarments that you only wore if you were doing laundry.
you could already hear him giggling at the sight.
groaning and cursing under your breath, you dropped the shirt and sped to your bedroom to dig through your closet in hopes of finding something a little more appealing. after making a mess of one of your closetâs drawers, you finally pulled out a pair of less offensive panties. they were made of soft cotton; a muted light blue with thin white lace trim, the cut shaped more like a bikini than what you call your grandma underwear.
deciding they were flattering enough, you slipped off your hello kitty pairâignoring the embarrassing amount of wetness creating a wet patch right where it was pressed against your coreâand replaced it with the new pair. as you untwisted the waistband and adjusted it to fit properly, your doorbell rang and you froze on the spot before pulling yourself together and heading to open the door.
the walk to the door felt abnormally long as you stumbled over on wobbly knees. admittedly, you were a little nervous. sure, there have been times where you wanted to do some more than friendly activities with mingi, but you never actually thought it was happen. yet here you were, opening the door for him so he could come in and show you what being a cowgirl feels like.
âhey,â he greeted you softly, stepping into your home and closing the door behind him. you noticed a small plastic bag in his hand, eying it curiously as you watched him kick off his shoes and hang up his coat. once that was of the way, he took one of your hands in your free one and pulled you to where he knew your bedroom was.
once there, he set the bag down on your bedside table and dragged you to stand between his knees as he took a seat on the edge of your bed. he looked you over, lingering on the familiar t-shirt.
âso youâre the one that took this shirt, huh?â he quirked an eyebrow, glancing up at you as he released your hand and brought both of his to your hips. his thumbs caressed the curve of your waist over the shirt. âit was my favourite.â
you laughed softly, âclearly you didnât care enough if i was able to keep it for three years without you noticing.â
âyou little thief.â his nose scrunched as he glared at you jokingly, giving you a gentle squeeze.
âif you really want it back, you can always take it.â
ânah, itâs fine, keep it. it looks cuter on you anyway.â he took a breath and gave you another once over, humming appreciatively when he moved his hands up higher, dragging the shirt with it until he caught a glimpse of your panties. you tensed, caught off guard by how close he felt. âi need you to relax a little, how about i help you loosen up, yeah?â
you nodded, averting your gaze but returning it to him when you felt him pull you onto his lap. he slotted one of his legs between yours, easing you down to straddle his thigh. his hands ran up and down your sides and few times before resting on your bare thighs, your breath stuttered and he held back a smile.
âare you still okay with this?â he asked quietly, absentmindedly playing with the hem of his your shirt. âif i do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and iâll stop immediately and we can just watch a movie or something, okay?â when you only nodded, he continued, âi need you to say it, please.â
âiâm okay with this,â you muttered in return, resting you hands on his biceps, âand iâll let you know if i need you to stop.â
âgood, nowâŚâ without waiting any longer, he leaned forward to attach his lips to your neck, his hands slowly beginning to rock you back and forth on his lap.
you sucked in a sharp breath and clung into his arms a little tighter, your stomach fluttering at the feeling of your clothed cunt on his firm thigh, your panties dragging against your clit with ease thanks to how wet you already were. he lifted you slightly as he pulled you towards him, pushing you down as he pushed, the varying pressure making your lips part in a soft whimper. he nearly groaned at the sound, moving his lips right below your ear.
âyou know,â he rasped between the licks and kisses, âi canât deny that iâve wanted to fuck you for a long, long time now.â
âr-really?â
mingi chuckled as he pulled back to look at your face, half surprised and half needy. he noticed that if he relaxed his hands, youâd continue grinding against his thigh.
âyeah, really. i mean, look at you,â he glanced down, one of his hands lifting the hem of your shirt to watch you ride his thigh slowly, a dark wet patch forming right where your leaking pussy sat. he bit his lip, âyou look so perfect⌠and i bet youâd feel perfect, too.â
you nearly whined at that, fucking yourself on his thigh just a little faster as he sucked a dark mark right above your collarbone before returning to mutter dirty words into your ear.
âi know practically everything about you and your cute little body, you know. better than anyone else,â one of his hands inched itâs way up your thighs, brushing against the edge of your panties, âiâll make you feel so good, angel, i promise.â
âmingi?â you whimpered, prompting him to lean back a little to look at you with a curious tilt of his head and a raised brow. âif you donât shut up and kiss me right now, i might lose my mind so⌠please.â
his beautifully plump lips stretched into a smile as he wasted no time in practically pouncing forward and smashing his lips against yours. it started a little slow as you got acquainted with each other, despite the fact you could feel a nearing orgasm as a knot in your stomach drew tighter with each roll of your hips, but soon the kiss turned hungry.
he groaned into your mouth as you let his tongue explore, making you let out a quiet moan. mingi knew he wouldnât be able to kiss anyone ever again. you, his best friend of all people, had the most inviting lips heâs ever felt. so inviting, so perfect and so soft. he thought everything about was soft. his hand slipped just under the edge of your panties as his other one made your grinds slow down.
you didnât mind the slow pace, knowing just a few more rocks of your hips would have you tipping over the edge. but he evidently had other plans as he finally made your hips still completely. you pulled away from his lips with a pout. if you were trying to make him feel bad, it backfired terribly.
all he could think of as he looks at your swollen, red, wet, pouty lips is how much prettier theyâd look wrapped around his cock. but he could save that for another time.
âthereâs no need to rush, baby,â he chuckled, wiping some saliva away from your bottom lip.
eventually, when he was sure you had calmed down enough, he lifted you off his lap a little and turned to lay you down on your back, pressed against the comfortable mattress as he kneeled on the edge. he gripped your knees and bent them, pushing them closer to your chest with his eyes zeroed in on where your slick was leaking through your panties.
with one hand keeping your knees together and elevated, he ran his other over the fabric, pressing down on where he knew your clot would be and elicit a sweet little moan as you squirmed beneath him. he thought you were so cute like this, you looked so flustered as he gave you nothing but featherlight touches where you needed him most. for now.
âdonât get all shy on me now,â he cooed as he glanced up and noticed you covering your face with your hands, âlet me see you, pretty.â
he didnât continue his touches until you finally removed your hands, giving him a nice view of your abused lips and round eyes, pupils blown wide with lust in a way that had something stirring in his abdomen. and his pants.
he let down your knees for a moment so both of his hands could slip under the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs. he actually moaned when he saw the strings of arousal clutching onto the fabric as he dragged it away, snapping when he got too far.
âyouâre so pretty, baby,â he murmured, watching your entrance squeeze around nothing, making more slick drip out.
after tossing it aside, he wasted no time in getting your knees back to the previous position and running his fingers through your folds.
âoh, fuck,â he groaned, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as you let out a moan when he tapped against your clit, âyouâre soaked.â
he glanced up at you, wanting to see your face as he slowly pushed in too fingers and catching a glimpse of your hard nipples poking through your shirt. your face contorted for s fraction of s second before relaxing, your head tipping back against the mattress as you let out a whine.
he choked back a moan at the tight walls around his middle and ring fingers, the fingers of his other hand digging into your thighs. âsh-shit⌠youâre so tight. iâm gonna have to stretch you out first, okay?â
you nodded mindlessly, too distracted by his fingers prodding at your sweet spot to care about any words he may have said. but you furrowed your eyebrows and lifted your head when you felt both his hands leave you, finding him reaching for the bag. your curiosity outweighed your disappointment as he pulled something out.
it was a dildo. about as thick and long as the biggest person you had before, and made of what looked to be transparent silicon. your insides tightened at the sight, somehow the thought of him seemingly buying this just for you turning you on even more.
he returned to kneeling at the edge of your bed, leaning down to loop his arm around your waist and lift you up to place a pillow under your hips before letting lay back down.
âcouldnât find one my size, but this should be fine,â he held the dildo and ran the tip through your pussy, collecting wetness as you shuddered, âmy cock will just have to stretch you the rest of the way.â
you breath hitched at the implication of his words. so he was bigger than that? your thighs pressed together at the thought of being completely stuffed by him. he chuckled, separating your knees enough for him to have a clear view of your pussy, pulsing and dripping and begging for his attention.
he began slipping the toy into you, filling you up inch by inch and watching your needy hole stretch around it and swallow it up. the sight had him choking back a moan, biting down on his bottom lip.
the stretch had your back arching and pushing yourself against it desperately, feeling like that alone could get you to finish. it only took a few deep strokes for your pussy to get used to the size, squeezing and writhing around it until you couldnât handle it anymore. your arousal coated it quickly and seeped out with each stroke, squelching sounds filling the room that shot straight to his dick.
when you finally came, your toes curled and your body twitched as you let out a string of and whines and moans, little curses slipping between. he watched with fascination as you came undone right beneath him, not wanting to wait any longer to be inside you. he shoved the toy deep inside you, leaving it there as he leaned back for a moment to discard his clothes, slipping his hoodie and sweatpants off.
when you were brought back to your senses, you found yourself on his lap again, straddling his hips this time as he sat with his back against your headboard. you felt his erectile straining against his boxers and pressing against your core. you couldnât help but rock your hips against his slowly.
âdo you ever ride your pillow?â he asked suddenly, voice dropped what felt like two octaves lower than his regular tone. your eyes widened at the question but you nodded. he nodded too, his hands finding your ass and helping you grind against his clothes length. âthis is a lot like that, except you have something in you⌠and itâs more of an up and down movement⌠and iâm obviously not a pillow⌠still, thereâs really no right way to do it, just go slow and youâll figure out what works and what doesnât. plus, iâm here to guide you.â
he gave your ass a squeeze as if to punctuate his sentence, massaging the soft flesh in his palms. when you felt ready, you dropped your hands from his shoulders to his boxers, palming his length a few times before hooking your fingers into the fabric and dragging it down until his cock sprung out.
he definitely wasnât lying when he said it would stretch you more than the already-big dildo. he was definitely a lot bigger than anyone else youâve been with, well over average. you nearly dropped at the sight, wrapping your hand around him and jerking him off, eyes fixated on the angry red tip leaking precum as you passed your thumb over it.
the muscles of his abs rippled and squeezed as your worked your hands on his cock, his head thrown back against the headboard and letting out stuttering moans. all the sounds he made encourage you to sit up on your knees, guiding him through your folds and whimpering as you finally sank down on him carefully.
the two of you moaned at the same time, him at how well you squeezed around him and you at how well he stretched you. you stopped when you reached just halfway, unsure whether or not youâd be able to fit more. his hips jerked slightly as his hands squeezed your hips.
âcome on, baby,â he moaned softly, looking up at you with encouraging eyes, âjust a little more⌠we can make it fit, right? just breathe.â
you nodded and as you took a deep breath, he used his hold on your to sink you further down until he finally bottomed out. he cursed silently, the back of his head finding the headboard again as you whined and dropped yours onto his shoulder.
you felt his tip pushing against your cervix, the new feeling making a lump form in your throat as you blinked back tears. this time it took a while to get used to the stretch before you tried grinding back and forth. it was slow, almost painfully so. he was amazed that despite stretching you with two different things, you were still so unbelievably tight, hugging him in a death grip as your raised your hips an inch before dropping down again.
your soft noises were muffled by his shoulder as your hands rested on his biceps, panting and squeezing gently as every inch of him dragged against the sensitive spongy patch in your walls every time you grinded on him. soon enough you were able to lift yourself to his tip and drop all the way down, your wetness letting him slip in and out with ease.
still, you kept the pace torturously slow, savouring each bounce and grind. his hands had left your hips at some point, exploring your body under your shirt, massaging your breasts and tweaking your nipples. he lifted the fabric but kept it on your as he watched your tits bounce temptingly, your puffy pink nipples making his mouth water as he pushed himself forward to take one into his mouth.
your hips stuttered as he sucked and nibbled at your nipples, throwing your head back and arching into his touch as your grinds grew sloppy. he felt your decreasing pace, using the hand that wasnât teasing your other breast to guide your hips once more. he angled you slightly differently in a way that made your clit press against his pelvis each time he bottomed out, the speed of your grinds picking up quickly as his hips bucked up to meet yours.
his lips detached from your bruised breasts with a popping sound as he leaned up to capture your lips in his once again. it wasnât much of a kiss, more teeth and tongue and moans and groans than anything else as you swallowed each otherâs sounds.
you finished first, pushing yourself down hard and stilling, filling yourself with his throbbing cock and pressing your clit against him. he held you tightly, burying his face in your neck to suck at all the spot he knew would get your to writhe. many tickling fights contributed to his knowledge on all your sensitive spots.
your body twitched as you returned to bouncing on his length, your juices looking at his base. the overstimulation burned a little, making your thighs and knees quiver, but you were determined to get him to finish too. and by the looks of it, it shouldnât take much longer.
âshit, baby,â he said, halfway between a whimper and a moan, fingertips digging into your hips as he threw his head back in bliss, ââm so closeâ fuck, you feel s-so good.â
his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, bottom lip caught between his teeth. his cheeks and the tip of his ears flushed a deep red, his plush lips a few shades darker and coated in your mixed saliva from your kisses. as you adjusted the angle of your hips, something in him snapped, grabbing your hips tighter and taking over. he took over your movements, thrusting his hips up desperately as you fell forward onto his chest with the sudden change in intensity. his tip pushed itself against your g-spot continually, another knot tightening in your stomach.
the wet sounds of your cunt and your skin slapping against his egged him on until finally he felt like he couldnât hold back any longer.
âbaby, p-pleaseâ fuckâ please, can i cum i-inside you?â he begged through a groan, âiâ please, angel, i-i canât wait any longer.â
you nodded against his chest with a whine, you were on the pill anyway. not a second later, he released into you, filling you up with stuttering hips. he pulled you down, flush against him and keeping you there as he emptied himself with softly muttered curses, his head dropping to press open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder.
it felt new to you, the warmth making you squirm until you came again without warning. it was much weaker this time but still enough to make you shake in his arms, panting softly after letting out a strangled moan against his skin.
after a few long moments of trying to recover from the shared orgasm, he lifted his head, one of his hands cupping your chin to tilt your head to look at him.
âso,â he started, lips stretched into a smile, âhowâd that feel?â
âfucking amazing.â you rolled your eyes at how smug he looked after your confession, not protesting as he leaned forward to kiss you.
this one was much softer than the previous kisses you shared, much more tender. it was a lot shorter too, he pulled away first to rest his forehead against yours.
âyeah?â he whispered, kissing the corner of your lips, âjust wait until i hit it from the back.â
networks. @cromernet @wonderlandnet @cultofdionysusnet @pirateeznet
permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl @likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd @coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf
#cromernet#wonderlandnet#cultofdionysusnet#pirateeznet#ateez#ateez x reader#song mingi smut#mingi x reader#mingi reactions#mingi imagines#mingi smut#mingi fluff#mingi angst#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez fluff#ateez smut
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#momentarily existing in my older brain again and it's this really weird feeling of like#I know... I know why you're worried- I know why we're worried.#It feels like there's blood under your nails and like it always has been there#like you're always one wrong move from hurting someone- actually. and that's why you're always so worried about even inconsequential levels#or like.. emotional damage#I remember a friend I can't remember her face it isn't for me to remember but I remember telling her about these worries#because though they come and go they've been there so long#and I remember telling her- we had to have been in college.#'I'm a bad person. you have to understand- I'm a bad person and when push comes to shove-'#and her cutting me off.#'when push came to shove you defended yourself. Self defense is not violence.'#Self defense is not violence. It's not.#I'm sure I'm the villain in some of those people's stories- if they think about them at all.#Maybe it was another tuesday for them#But self defense is not violence- lil me's. It's not. She was right. She was right then and she'll be right forever.#You slammed a kids hand in a locker. you flipped someone over your back. you pushed you shoved.#you were fighting back against being sexually harassed at school. you were defending yourself against boys with wandering hands.#because you couldn't defend yourself from adults with them#you were just a kid. you deserved One Safe Place and the reason the school never held you accountable#is because they knew they couldn't without owning up to the fact that they'd also seen those boys put hands on you.#and okay maybe sometimes we ran off the mouth when we shouldn't have- but that's not where the guilty feelings lie... do they?
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Beyond innocence - Matt Sturniolo
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/606dfa548ac394363175569ebc1c2a48/9ee095f008c7ba47-98/s540x810/e24e8691c24cdb8af4442dfe93b12b830ceceda3.jpg)
Re uploaded because my account bsturnzmtt got deactivated :( Please follow and let me know if you want to be in my tag list !
Paring: dom! Matt x innocent' ! Reader
Contains/warnings: rough sex, fingering, oral (male receiving), creampie (on the pill), p in v, petnames, angsty, reader pretends to be innocent, long plot.
Summary: You were childhood best friends with the Sturniolo triplets. After moving to another state your freshman year, you stayed in touch with Nick and Chris, while Matt never really tried. Years later, Nick and Chris planned a trip to visit you and brought Matt along. They stayed at your house for a month, which gave Matt enough time to realize your innocence facade after seeing the real you.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You are childhood best friends with the triplets. Sadly you had to move to another state when you were in freshman year. But you kept contact with Nick and Chris, Matt never really tried. Years passed and Nick and Chris planned a trip to go visit you. And made Matt come along. The trip is based on staying at your house where you and your mother live for a month and doing many fun activities. Unfortunately Nick and Chris also have an event to attend while they are there, so that obviously takes time that you could use to hang out, and means you're forced to spend more time with Matt.
You were really nervous to get to see the triplets again after many years. Especially Matt, you never really told anyone but back then you had a little crush on him. So it crushed your heart when he did even try to keep contact with you. But you're over that now, youâve grown⌠right?
Matt remembers you. You always acted so innocent, oblivious and naive. But he knew deep down you were none of those things, especially after many years have passed and you two have grown
âŚâŚ
Your mother adores the triplets and often talks about the happy times you all had together. She sees them as part of the family and hopes their visit will bring back those happy days. Your mother believes youâre still the same innocent, well-behaved girl from back then, not realizing youâve changed. Matt, however, always saw right through your act. Even as kids, he knew you werenât as naive and innocent as you pretended to be for your motherâs sake.
You wake up to a notification buzzing from your phone. A message from Nick lit up on your screen: âWeâre on our way. See you in a few hours!â
âGreat! Can't waaaaait, see you in a few!!â You text back.
You felt excited and anxious at the same time. It had been years since you moved away, leaving behind the triplets and your shared childhood. While you had kept in touch with Nick and Chris, Matt had always been distant, never bothering to stay connected.
You glanced around your room, making sure everything was in order. You and your mother had prepared for their arrival, ensuring there was space for everyone. Your mom had even prepared their favorite meal.
After checking that everythingâs in place you went to get changed. You take off your pjs and put on freshly clean clothes, brushed your teeth and hair, and added some perfume.
As you stared at your reflection in the mirror, you wondered how much youâd changed. Would they still recognize you?
Hours later, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of anticipation through you. You opened the door to find Nick and Chris grinning widely, their familiar faces instantly comforting. You hugged them tightly, the years melting away in an instant.
âOh my god guys Iâve missed you so muchâ you say hugging Nick and Chris.
As you pull away from Nick and Chris, you feel a sudden void in the air. You turn around, your heart pounding with anticipation, only to find Matt leaning against the door frame, his piercing gaze locked onto you. âMatt⌠Heyy itâs been a long time.â You say as you hug him awkwardly, giving him pats on his back. "Yeah, it has been a long time, hasn't it?" Matt says as he hugs you back, his voice smooth and unaffected as he takes in your appearance, a smirk playing on his lips. "But hey, I'm sure we'll catch up soon enough."
Your mother rushed in, thrilled to see the triplets. She hugged them tightly. âIâve missed you boys! Come in! I made your favorite meal.â
You guys filled the house with laughter and stories, just like old times.
Now itâs time for them to choose a room. Your house has two guest rooms, one which is downstairs with a big bed, and another that is upstairs next to your room with a small bed. So two of the triplets will share the room downstairs and one will use the room upstairs.
âSoo who will sleep where?â You ask.
âI say we flip a coin, the winner gets to have their own room.â Matt says.
âYeah, sounds fair.â Nick and Chris agreed.
âIâll take tails.â Chris says.
âMe too.â Nick says.
Matt pulled out a coin from his pocket. âIâll take heads,â he said. He flipped the coin and it landed in his hand. âOh, looks like I got it.â Matt smirked.
âMh great, so Matt takes the upstairs room and you guys share the downstairs room.â You say.
Matt smirks, knowing he got the better end of the deal. He turns to his brothers "You guys can split the downstairs room, don't make a mess of it." He heads up the stairs, leaving Nick and Chris to figure out the sleeping arrangements.
âK! So Iâll help you guys with your luggage.â You say to Nick and Chris as Matt heads upstairs.
"Thanks for the help," Nick says, grabbing his duffel bag. Chris nods in agreement, shouldering his own bag. They head towards their room, chatting excitedly about old times and plans for the weekend. After they finish unpacking you bring them towels and other essentials.
âHere you go guys, if you need anything ask me.â You say to them with a smile.
Then you walked upstairs and knocked on Mattâs door.
"Come in." Matt called out, his voice deep and smooth. You opened the door to find him sprawled out on the bed, shirtless with his long legs crossed and ankles resting on the pillows.
âOh, hey⌠here you have towels and other things you might need.â You say.
Matt raises an eyebrow, taking in your sight, before sitting up to accept the towels, trying not to let his eyes wander too much. "Thanks, I appreciate it.â
âNo problem.â You say with a smile.
He sets the towels aside and pats the bed beside him in an unspoken invitation. "So, how's life been treating you?" His question is casual, but there's a hint of genuine curiosity in his gaze as he studies your face.
âGood yâknow, normalâ you respond.
He nods, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips as he leans back on the pillows, one hand absently running through his hair. "Normal, huh? That's good to hear.â
You stand there awkwardly. âYeah⌠What about you?â You ask.
He shrugs, letting his hand fall to the bed. "It's been... interesting. Work keeps me busy, but I can't complain. It's fulfilling." He says.
âYeah, it must be fun being a youtuber. Anyways⌠good catching up, Iâm gonna go see if Nick and Chris need some help.â You say.
"Sure, I'll let you get back to your friends. But first" He says as he stands up and grabs your wrist. âWhat?â You ask with curiosity. "First, I want to show you something." He pulls you closer, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath hitch. "Close the door behind you, will you?" âMatt, what is this about?â You ask with curiosity. "You'll see, now close the door." he said with a mischievous look in his eyes. â⌠fine.â You roll your eyes and close the door.
He chuckles at your eye roll and keeps his eyes on you. After the door is closed he turns around and walks over to his dresser. He opens it and pulls out a familiar bag to you. âMmh I think I found something very interesting about you.â He says with a smirk walking closer to you holding a very fancy bag containing the lingerie you recently bought.
Your eyes widen as you see the bag on his hands. âWhat!? You went through my room!?â You ask, feeling a little frustrated.
He chuckles at your reaction. âHey! I got confused, okay? Your room is right next to mine, I just accidentally opened the wrong door, and thought âwhy donât I take a look?â So yea, I was snooping around, sue me⌠but look what I found. And let me tell you, I'm rather impressed," he says, his tone dripping with amusement and a hint of something more.
âUgh! Give it to me!â You say and try to snatch the bag out of his hands.
"Ah ah ah, not so fast, sweetheart," he says with a playful chuckle, holding the bag just out of your reach. He takes a step back, his eyes roving over your form with a smug expression.
âWhat would your dear mother think about her little perfectly behaved, innocent and naive daughter buying this kind of stuff?â He says with a smirk.
You roll your eyes in frustration. âMatt-â but when youâre about to say something your mother walks in.
âHey! I just wanted to check if everything was good. Did you get everything you need Matt?â Your mother asks sweetly.
âYes! I already gave him the towels and everything!â You answer quickly, then turn to look at Matt. âIf you need anything else you can ask me.â You say to Matt feigning a sweet innocent tone.
Matt smirks at your sweet tone, but says nothing for the moment, keeping the bag of lingerie tightly in his grasp. He glances at your mother, who seems oblivious to the awkward situation, and back to you, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
âGreat! Iâm off to work sweetie, could you finish the dishes please?â Your mom says.
âOf course mom. Good luck at work.â You answer with a smile.
Your mom gives you a peck on the cheek, humming a happy tune as she heads out the door. The moment she's gone, Matt closes it behind her with a soft click. He turns back to you, a playful glint in his eye. "Now, where were we?â
âGive me the bag, Matt.â You say in a serious tone.
He chuckles, the sound low and husky as he holds the bag out of your reach, teasing you with the temptation. "Ah, come on. Don't be like that. It's just a little fun, isn't it?â
âItâs not even mine. Iâm hiding it for a friend. I would never use that kind of stuff.â You say.
The teasing glint in his eyes falters slightly, replaced by a flash of surprise. Then, he laughs again, a genuine amusement coloring his gaze as he hands you the bag. "Sure you wouldn'tâŚSure you wouldn't.â
âI swear! Thatâs probably expensive, so I wouldnât be able to afford it.â You answer defensively.
Matt chuckles. âFine, fine you can have the bag.â He hands you the bag, but still not believing you.
You roll your eyes and grab the bag. âThank you.â
"No problem, sweetheart." He winks at you, then leans against the dresser, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes never leave yours, a playful smirk still on his face. "So, which friend is it for, hmm?â
âUgh none of your business.â You say and leave the room and go to your room.
Matt smirks after you leave, shaking his head slowly. He chuckles to himself, making a mental note to double check that story later.
As soon as you get to your room you close the door and let out sigh, feeling happy Matt âboughtâ your lie. You quickly hide the bag again, but this time in another place. After that you decided to go downstairs and see what Chris and Nick are up to.
You walk downstairs, the sound of your footsteps echoing in the quiet house. As you reach the living room, you see Chris and Nick lounging on the couch. âHey guys! whatcha doin?â
âOh hey, we were just finishing getting ready for our event, it starts todayâ Nick answers.
âTodayyy? But you just got here.â You say.
The boys nod, confirming what they just said. Chris stretches on the couch lazily, grinning as he does so. "Yeah, we're excited to finally get started.â
âThatâs good.â You say, then you har steps coming down the stairs.
Matt strolls down the stairs, a mischievous glint in his eye, he approaches the group, a sly smile playing on his lips. âHey, donât worry, you can hang out with me while theyâre gone.â He says looking at you.
You faked a smile and answered. âRightttt.â
He chuckles at your forced enthusiasm, knowing full well you're not entirely thrilled about the idea. He moves to sit on the armchair across from the couch, his posture relaxed but his gaze sharp as he watches you. âOur car is here Nick.â Chris says. âOkay okay Iâm ready! Bye guysss see you later.â Nick says.
âByeee Iâll miss you.â You say as they walk out the door.
"I'm sure you will" he said, watching as Chris and Nick leave the house. Once they're gone, Matt turns his attention back to you. "Well, I guess it's just you and me now." He says with a smirk.
You let out a sigh and roll your eyes. âGreat.â
He chuckles under his breath, finding amusement in your annoyance. "Ah come on, don't be like that" he says as he leans back in the armchair. His eyes never leave yours, his gaze intent as he studies you from afar.
âI need to finish doing the dishes.â You say and walk to the kitchen.
"Oh, alright then" He says with a playful tone in his voice. As you move to the kitchen, he follows you, making himself comfortable on the counter top.
You start doing the dishes.
He watches you intently as you start washing the dishes, his presence making the ordinary task feel charged with unspoken tension. "So, I've been thinking..." he says casually, his voice low and smooth like velvet.
âWhat?â You sigh.
He leans in a bit closer, his elbows resting on his knees as he looks at you with an unnerving intensity in his eyes. "About our little chat earlier," he begins, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "I think you might be hiding something from me, sweetheart.â
âThat lingerie is not mine. I already told you.â You say.
He laughs softly, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Oh come on, you can drop the act with me. I know it's yours." He says, folding his arms across his chest as he watches you. âWho are you planning to wear all that stuff for?â He asks.
âNot you.â You snapped.
"Ah, so feisty today," he muses, a smirk playing on his lips. "I like it." He leans back against the counter, his posture relaxed but his eyes never leaving yours. "Well then, whose is it?" He asks, his voice light and teasing. He knows you're not actually angry with him, just a bit flustered.
âNone of your business.â You answer and finish doing the dishes.
He chuckles softly at your response, clearly enjoying the little back-and-forth between the both of you. Once you're done with the dishes, he slides off the counter top and moves to stand in front of you, his gaze steady and unwavering. âI guess Iâll have to find out for myself then.â
âYeah whatever.â You say and start walking away.
He catches your wrist, pulling you back around to face him. His grip is firm but not painful, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through your skin. "Whatever, huh?" He says, a hint of a challenge in his voice.
âWhat do you want, Matt?â You ask.
He raises an eyebrow at your reaction, but there's a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Well, I want to know who the lingerie belongs to, for starters," he says, his tone teasing and playful.
âFine. Itâs mine.â You confess.
He smirks at your admission, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I knew it," he says, his tone triumphant. He releases your wrist and steps back, his hands raised in a see, I told you so' gesture. "I must say, I'm impressed.â
You roll your eyes at him.
He laughs at your reaction, the sound deep and rich. He enjoys teasing you, knowing he can get a rise out of you so easily. "Hey, I'm just saying, it takes a confident woman to wear lingerie like that,â
âHappy now?â You ask with sarcasm. âItâs mine, are you done?â
He grins at your sarcasm, clearly enjoying the banter between the both of you. "For now," he replies, his tone light and unbothered.
You pull away from his grip and go to your room.
He lets you go, his eyes following you as you walk away. His grin doesn't fade as he watches you leave, still amused by your reaction. He leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, as he watches you disappear into your room.
You stay in your room for a couple of hours until you get bored and decide to text Chris and Nick.
âHey guysss at what time are you coming back? Itâs getting lateee.â You text.
âThis thing got delayed, so weâll probably be here more time than expected :(â Chris responds.
âYeah, weâll get home late. But donât worry we have tomorrow to hangout.â Nick adds.
âOkayyy itâs fineee, luv u bye!â You text.
You lay in your bed bored, not knowing what to do.
But in the other hand, Matt did have a plan. He wants to annoy you, to tease you. So immediately after he got out of the shower he went into your room only wearing a towel hanging lowly on his hips. With an excuse to ask you a question.
Without knocking he just walked into your room. âHey do you have-â
Your eyes immediately went to his body watching the water droplets dripping from his hair to his chest, his arms, how the towel is barely hanging over his hips. But you quickly wake yourself up giving him an âannoyedâ look. âDo you not know what knocking is?â
He grins widely at your reaction, his eyes glinting mischievously. He has exactly the reaction he wanted from you. "Thanks for reminding me, I forgot all about that." He says as his fingers lightly graze the door frame. âAnyway, I came to ask you, if you have a bathrobe I could borrow?â
âUgh, no I donât ha- wait⌠I already gave you one with the rest of the towels.â You say.
He chuckles at your exasperation, clearly amused by your flustered state. âWhat? You did?â He asks, while his eyebrows furrow in mock confusion, but his grin doesn't fade away. âMh, I guess I forgot to check. My bad.â
âYeah whatever, just leave.â You say and roll your eyes.
He chuckles again and exits the room, still with that infuriating grin on his face.
âAnd knock on the door next time!â You shout so he can hear you through the door.
He laughs as he closes your door behind him, the sound echoing in the hallway. "I'll try, but no promises," he calls back, his voice teasing and light. He can't help but feel a thrill at having gotten such a strong reaction from you.
As soon as he leaves you let out a sigh feeling frustrated, at him but especially at yourself, because of how wet you got by seeing him like that.
âMh if heâs going to play that game, I can play it too.â You think to yourself.
After a while Nick and Chris finally get home. You guys ordered pizza and hung out for a little bit, after that you all went to bed.
Matt settles into bed, his thoughts lingering on the evening's events. He can't help but replay the moments in his head, the way your eyes widened when he entered your room, the flush on your cheeks, the annoyance in your voice. It was exhilarating, knowing he could get such a reaction from you. And he wanted more.
The next day you took Nick, Chris and Matt to all your favorite places and restaurants. You guys had a lot of fun, until the afternoon hit. Itâs currently 5 pm and Nick and Chris have to leave again.
âUghh againnnn?â You ask in a whiny voice.
âYessss weâre so sorryyyy, this event lasts about a week and we have to go every day.â Nick says.
âBut after the weekend weâll have a lot of time to spend together.â Chris says.
They finish getting ready and leave.
Matt watches as Nick and Chris say their goodbyes and leave. He catches your eye, a slight smirk on his lips as he sees your whiny expression. "Well, looks like it's just you and me now," he says, his voice low and playful.
âDid my mom leave for work already?â You ask.
âYeah like an hour ago. So no need to keep up with your innocent act.â He says.
You give him a glare and stand up to head to your room. But as you stand up, you âaccidentallyâ drop your phone. So you bend over in front of him, your back facing him.
He watches as you bend over to pick up your phone, taking in the sight of your curves and the way your shorts rise slightly. He bites back a groan as he adjusts himself, trying to hide his growing boner.
After you pick your phone up you stand up and leave like nothing happened.
He watches you leave, his eyes glued to your retreating figure. "Such a tease," he mutters under his breath, shaking his head with a small smile.
He is not gonna let you win this little game you two are playing. So for that he decided that he needs a change of clothes. He went to his room and changed his jeans for a pair of grey sweatpants, and obviously he didnât forget to take out his boxers too. This change of undergarment leaves in view his erection that you left him with. With that said he goes back to the living room and puts on a movie, making sure the volume is loud enough to be heard in your room.
You start hearing a movie playing on the tv coming from the living room. âUgh i'm going to kill him.â You say in your mind. As youâre about to leave your room you decided to get more âcomfortableâ. So you take your bra off, now only wearing your white tee covering (barely) your upper body. You storm downstairs to the living room with an annoyed expression. âWhatâs your problem!? The whole neighborhood can probably hear the tv!â You say trying to avoid looking at his clear boner.
As you storm into the living room, Matt watches you with a smirk, his eyes flicking down to your almost exposed chest before meeting your gaze again. "Oh, was I being too loud for you, princess?" he taunts, making no effort to hide his obvious arousal.
You glare at him. âYes! So turn down the volume.â
He smirks at your insistence, clearly enjoying the power dynamic between you two. Rising from the couch, he walks over to the TV and lowers the volume, his movements purposefully slow so you can't help but notice the bulge in his sweatpants with each step. As he does, his gaze lingers on your chest, the movement causing your braless breasts to jiggle slightly beneath the fabric of your shirt. "There, is that better?â
âSure I guess.â You say and go to the kitchen.
Matt watches you head to the kitchen, his eyes never leaving your back as you walk away. He can't help but imagine the swell of your bare breasts, the way they'd feel in his hands, and it makes his cock throb with desire. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing pulse. He waits a few moments before following you into the kitchen, his movements a bit more deliberate now. As he enters, he leans against the counter, folding his arms across his chest in a nonchalant pose that belies the hardness still prominent in his sweatpants.
You ignore him grabbing a glass and pouring yourself some water.
He watches as you take a long drink of water, imagining how refreshed your lips would look after being wrapped around his cock. "You're awfully quiet now," he observes, his tone light but with an undercurrent of suggestion. His eyes rove over your form, lingering on the way your t-shirt clings to your curves, the soft swell of your breasts.
âI have nothing to say to you.â You say setting down the glass on the counter.
He smirks, unfazed by your cold tone. "Is that so? Because I seem to recall you had plenty to say earlier." His eyes drop to your chest again, the thin fabric of your shirt doing little to hide the delicate outline of your nipples.
âThatâs because you decided to be annoying and put the tv on max volume.â You say
"Well, maybe if you'd stop ignoring me and actually engaged in a conversation, I wouldn't have to resort to such measures.â his voice low and husky.
âSo you did that to get my attention?â You ask.
"Maybe," he admits with a shrug, his gaze never leaving yours.
âWhy? You want to have a âconversationâ?â You ask.
He raises an eyebrow at your sarcasm but doesn't comment on it. "Yes, I do," he says evenly. "Unless you're just going to keep giving me the silent treatment.â
â���fine. I wonât.â You say.
"Good. I was hoping you'd see it my way." He takes a step closer, his tall frame looming over you, the air between you charged with tension. "So tell me, what's really going on with you? Why the attitude?â
âWhat attitude?â You ask.
He chuckles, a low, amused sound. "Don't play dumb with me. You're clearly upset about something." He leans in, his face inches from yours, his breath warm on your skin. "Why don't you just say it?â
âOhh I donât know⌠did you do anything to upset me?â You ask in a sarcastic way.
"Me? No, never." He says with a smug smile, but you can see the glint in his eyes.
âThen I guess Iâm not upset.â You say with sarcasm.
"Not upset, huh? Well, it sure seems like you are.â he growls, his voice low and urgent.
âNo, if you claim you did nothing to upset me, then im not upset. Why would I be upset?â You say with sarcasm.
His eyes narrow at your tone, his jaw clenched in irritation. "Because you're still avoiding eye contact, your body language screams 'fuck off,' and you're using sarcasm like a shield. Classic signs of someone who's trying to hide their true feelings.â
âCongratulations, took you long enough to notice.â You say.
Matt scoffs and rolls his eyes. "I don't need a condescending attitude, thank you very much." But then he takes a deep breath and tries again, his voice softer. "Look, I don't know what I did to piss you off, but I'm trying to have a real conversation here. You're not making it easy."
âMaybe I donât want to have a conversation with someone who was supposed to be my best friend, ended up ghosting me when I move away, never explained why, and decides to come back after years pretending that everything is normal.â You let out.
His eyes widen at your words, and for a moment, he looks taken aback. He takes a step back, his expression softening. "Oh, fuck," he breathes, running a hand through his hair. "I had no idea you felt that way.â
âIt wasnât that hard to keep contact, you know. Your brothers did.â You say.
He looks down, shame creeping into his features. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, alright? I was a fucking idiot for letting so much time pass without reaching out. I got caught up in my own life and... and I messed up. Badly.â
â⌠whatever Matt.â You say and start walking away.
"No, no, wait." He calls out to you, taking a few hurried steps to catch up. "Please, don't walk away from me. I fucked up, I know. And I want the chance to make it right." He looks at you with earnest eyes, genuinely remorseful.
"I'm sorry," he repeats, his voice softer and more sincere than before. "I fucked up. I know I did. But I've missed you so much, man. I've realized that I can't just let things be without trying to make things right between us. Please forgive me?â
âFine. I forgive you, itâs been years and I got over it a long time ago. But that doesnât mean things will go back to normal.â You say.
He nods, understanding. "Yeah, I get that. But maybe that's okay. Maybe we can start fresh, build a new friendship based on who we are now, instead of trying to fit back into the mold of who we used to be." He shifts nervously, trying to gauge your reaction.
âYeahâ you let out a chuckle. âYou turned out to be an annoying asshole.â You say jokingly letting out a laugh.
He laughs along with you, relieved that you're willing to give him another chance. "Well, you always had a way of calling me out on my shit," he says with a grin. "But hey, I promise I've been working on being a little less asshole-ish these days.â
âMmhhh I don't think so, I mean first thing you did when you got here was snoop around my room.â You say and chuckle.
He groans, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Okay, okay, maybe I haven't completely changed yet," he admits with a laugh. âAnd itâs just that⌠I donât know, you always act to innocent, and I know youâre not. So I just wanted to prove myself right.â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about.â You say feigning innocence.
He laughs "Oh come on, don't play dumb with me. I'm not stupid, you know. I've seen the way you operate, always playing the sweet, innocent girl, but I know you're hiding something. That's just part of why I had to snoop around.â
âI think I'm going to start locking my room.â You laugh.
He chuckles and smirks at you. "Yeah, maybe you should. Or you know, you could just give in and tell me your secrets," he says playfully.
You chuckle. âYeah, no way. Anyways itâs getting late and I want to shower before Nick and Chris get here so we can have dinner.â You say.
"Oh, sure thing. I'll let you get to it." He says. "I should probably head back to my room as well and grab a shower myself." He smiles at you, making his way to the door. "I'll see you later then, okay?â
You both go to your own rooms. You take a nice hot shower. When you get out you blow dry your hair and do the rest of your routine. Then you put on some clothes. Your mother is already downstairs making dinner for you guys so you decide to go down and help her. Dinner's ready and Chris and Nick get home. You all sit on the table and eat dinner, Matt sat next to you. Everything was going fine until you felt his hand on your thigh.
You feel his hand creeping up your thigh under the table. His fingers trail up your inner thigh, the touch light but unmistakable. You freeze, the fork halfway to your mouth. You can feel the heat of his skin against yours. His touch is bold, fingers splayed across your leg, and it sends a jolt of electricity through you.
You swallow the piece of food that you had in your mouth and give him a glare.
He smirks at you and leans in closer, whispering in your ear. "Mmm, your thighs are so soft," he murmurs, his voice low and husky, making sure no one saw or heard him. His fingers continue their trail, moving higher before finally coming to a stop just below the hem of your shorts.
âMatt. Stop.â You whisper back, pulling his hand away.
He withdraws his hand, but not before giving your thigh a quick squeeze. âWhat?" He feigns innocence, holding his hands up in a defensive gesture as if he didn't just grope you under the table. A devilish glint dances in his eyes as he leans back in his chair, smirking.
You glare at him and continue eating. After everyoneâs done eating you help your mom pick up the table.
When the table is cleared and the dishes are put in the dishwasher, he comes over to you, his hand resting on your lower back. "Hey," he says softly.
âWhat?â You ask, avoiding eye contact.
He chuckles lowly and moves to stand in front of you, looking down at you with a smirk in his âCan we talk for a moment?â
âMaybe next time, right now Iâm tired and want to go to bed.â You say lying.
"Aww, come on," he coos, his voice dripping with persuasion. "Just a few minutes of your time." He reaches out to gently tilt your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. The intensity in his eyes is unmistakable, a mix of desire and something more sinister.
As you look at him you feel yourself getting wetter, but you canât let him win. âNo. Sorry I'm just really tired.â You yawn.
He narrows his eyes, seeing right through your tired act. "Fine," he says, his voice clipped. "But know that this isn't over."
âI donât know what you're talking about.â You say smiling and then walk away.
He watches you go, his eyes smoldering with a heated hunger. He knows he'll get what he wants eventually, but for now, he'll let you think you've won this round.
Next morningâŚ
Nick and Chris had to leave early today for their event, so it was just you and Matt in the house.
As you wake up, you hear some sounds coming from the kitchen. You get up from your bed and put on some sweatpants and a tank top before you go to the kitchen to check what's going on. âWhatâs going on here? Why is there so much noise?â
Matt is standing at the counter, cracking eggs into a bowl and whisking them vigorously. He looks up and smirks at you as you enter, his eyes roaming over your casual morning attire. "Just making some breakfast," he says, his tone casual despite the heat in his gaze.
âDid Chris and Nick leave already?â You ask.
"Yep, they had an early call time for their event. So it's just us." He says with a smirk.
âGreat.â You say sarcastically as you rub your eyes.
He laughs lightly at your sarcasm, but there's a touch of relief in his laughter. Now that it's just the two of you, he knows he has a better chance at getting what he wants. "Yeah, looks like it," he says, his voice low and full of promise.
You roll your eyes at his response. âWhatever. Donât burn my house down. I'm gonna go take a shower.â
"Take your time," he says, his voice like honey, as if he's already imagining you in the shower, water cascading down your bare skin. He licks his lips and turns back to the stove, where he starts cooking the eggs.
You go upstairs to your room and start showering.
Downstairs, Matt's thoughts are consumed with you. He pictures you in the shower, your body slick and soapy under the water.
After some minutes youâre done showering and head to your room. You put on your black underwear set and start drying your hair, not noticing the door to your room is slightly opened.
When heâs going to his room he canât help but notice your door is slightly open. He can't resist his curiosity. He quietly walks towards your room, stopping just outside the open door to sneak a peek. "Damn," he muttered under his breath as he peaked into your room. He sees you half-dressed and towel drying your hair. He felt his arousal spike as he watched the water dripping down the curves of your body.
Unaware of Matt's presence, you finish taking the excess water off your hair and decide to stay comfortable and put on an oversized shirt.
Matt swallows hard, his pulse racing as he drinks in the sight of you in your oversized shirt, leaving your legs exposed. He can't tear his gaze away. His eyes trailed down and admired your legs, feeling the heat of desire building up inside him. But he quickly left and went to his room so you wouldnât notice.
You grab your phone and head out of your room.
He lays down on his bed, his mind still consumed with thoughts of you. He can't believe how sexy you looked even half-dressed. He groans softly as he starts to stroke his hardening cock, imagining you in more revealing states. "Fuck.â He hears you come out of your room and he decides to follow you. He quickly pulled up his sweatpants and opened the door to his room, seeing you in the hallway. âHey, where are you going?â
âHey.. I uhm Iâm going down stairs.â You say. You obviously noticed the big bulge in his pants but try not to show it.
He smirks at your reaction, his eyes locked on yours with a knowing glint. "Downstairs, huh? I could join you." His voice is low and suggestive, the bulge in his pants straining against the fabric as he takes a step closer.
âNo.â You say with a playful smile and start walking downstairs and make your way to the kitchen.
He watches as you descend the stairs, the hem of your oversized shirt riding up to reveal more of your bare legs. He groans again, the sound low and needy in his throat. He follows you to the kitchen, his gaze never leaving your body.
âI thought I told you no.â You say grabbing a drink from the fridge.
"Ah, but I'm a persistent man, aren't I?" He steps closer, his large frame towering over you as he leans against the counter, his eyes never leaving yours. The bulge in his pants is undeniable now, a physical manifestation of his desire.
âMh, shows.â You say in a slightly sarcastic way.
A smirk plays on his lips as he catches your sarcasm, but there's an undercurrent of challenge in his gaze. He straightens up and moves closer, backing you against the counter. "Is that a problem, sweetheart?"
âItâs a little bit annoying.â You say and start walking towards the living room.
He quickly catches up to you, his hand reaching out to grasp your wrist tightly and stop you from walking away. "I think we're not quite done here," he says, his voice low and commanding. He pulls you back towards him.
âUgh what the hell is your problem?â You say annoyed.
âMy problem?â he says with a slightly offended tone in his voice. He keeps a firm grip on your wrist, his fingers digging in just enough to convey his dominance. "My problem?" he repeats, a hint of a chuckle in his voice. "I think you know exactly what my problem is.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about.â You say.
His eyes narrow slightly at your response and his grip on your wrist tightens slightly at your continued ignorance. His other hand reaches up to cup your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Don't play games with me," he says in a rough tone. âMy problem is that youâve been trying to make me hard for the past 3 days.â
âNo! Youâve tried to make me wet since you got here. So donât start complaining about something you started.â You say frustrated.
He lets out a deep, rumbling laugh at your words, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. "So I make you wet, huh?" He tilts his head, his eyes searching yours.
You roll your eyes and avoid eye contact. âIâm not answering that.â
"Oh, I think you just did," he says with a smirk.
âUgh fuck you Matt.â You say and pull away from his grip. You walk towards the living and sit on the couch turning on the tv.
He watches you storm off with a smug grin, clearly amused by your flustered reaction. He follows you to the living room. He sits down next to you on the couch, much closer than necessary, his thigh brushing against yours. âAre you wet right now?â
You feel your panties getting wetter as he asks that. âNo.â
He chuckles low in his throat, his hand coming to rest on your exposed thigh. His touch is warm and possessive, sending tingles up your spine. "So you would have a problem with me checking" he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear. His hands moving slowly up.
You close your thighs. âMatt, stop.â
His smirk turns into a full-blown smile at your words and actions, clearly pleased with the effect he's having on you. He continues to tease you, his hand moving up to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Stop what? Checking if you're wet for me?"
âYou wish I was,â you say, giving him a little bit of attitude.
"Oh, I know you are," he says with a chuckle, his hand sliding further up your thigh.
âIâm trying to watch a movie.â You say and pull his hand away.
He raises an eyebrow, his smirk only growing wider as he hears the slightly breathless quality to your voice. "Mhm, sure you are," he murmurs, his hand moving back to your thigh and forcing your legs open. âI'm just going to check if youâre wet or not.â His hand moved further up, since youâre without pants he quickly reached your pantie.
You gasp at his action and bite your lip holding back a whine as he teases your clit through your damp panties.
He smirks at your reaction but doesnât say anything; he just pulls out his fingers and pretends like nothing happened. âLetâs watch your movie.â
You quietly sit there trying to pay attention to the movie.
He watches you attempt to focus on the movie, a knowing glint in his eye. Every so often, his gaze drifts down to your lap, no doubt recalling the feel of your wet panties between his fingers. He faces the tv again but his fingers start creeping to your thighs until they reach your panties. He doesnât say anything, he just âpays attentionâ to the movie. Two of his fingers start moving in circular motion.
You nearly gasp at his touch, you look over at him but heâs facing the tv. As his fingers start to move you canât help but hold up your whines and moans.
He smirks but his expression never faces your direction, instead, he keeps eye contact with the screen. His fingers continue to move and rub against you harder.
Without thinking you spread your legs wider giving him more access.
He smirks wider as he hears the soft gasp torn from your lips. The feeling when he sees you spread your legs wider, his finger moving against your clit in slow circles.
You whine needing to feel more friction. So your hips unconsciously start grinding on his fingers.
He loves seeing you like this, vulnerable and needy. He chuckles low in his throat as he feels you grinding on his fingers. His free hand comes to rest on your inner thigh, applying gentle pressure to keep you open for him. He whispers near your ear âfucking slutâ as youâre about to cum he pulls away his fingers.
You let out a whine at the loss of contact.
His smirk is triumphant as he watches your reaction, knowing he's left you wanting. He turns to face you, his eyes dark with desire. "Youâre a fucking slut, admit it." His voice is low and husky, sending shivers down your spine.
As vulnerable you are you still keep up with the attitude. âNo. Iâm not.â
He chuckles as he watches your squirm in need, the way you answer, keeping up with the attitude, hiding how needy you are for his touch. He knows it's a lie. âYeah? Youâre not?â He chuckles. âLike you didnât just take my fingers without hesitation.â
He watches your expression carefully, waiting for you to back down from your defiance. When you remain silent, he leans in, his breath hot against your ear. "I could make you cum, right here, right now. All you have to do is admit it. Say the words, baby."
You look at him, your eyes filled with lust and desire. âFuck⌠yes.â You say quietly.
He smirks, his lips curling up at your confession. "Yes, what?" His voice is soft yet demanding.
âYesâŚI- Iâm a slut.â You say in desperation for him to touch you.
He leans back in to whisper near your ear "That's right, you are." He watches your squirm under his gaze, his expression filled with satisfaction. His fingers move to your panties, teasing you as he spreads your wetness around. "Not just a slut, but my slut."
You whimper at his teasing. âMh Matt please.â
He smirks as he hears your plea. "Please what, slut? Tell me exactly what you want." His fingers continue to tease your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to keep you on the brink of climax.
âPlease let me cum.â You whine.
"Ah, baby, you want to cum so bad, don't you?" His voice drips with seduction as he continues to torture your clit, his fingers expertly dancing around the sensitive spot. "Tell me, how much do you want it? How much do you need it?"
âPlease Matt, I want to cum so bad.â You whimper.
Finally, Matt couldn't resist your begging and he pushes his fingers inside of you. He starts to finger you roughly while still rubbing your clit with his thumb. "Cum for me baby, cum all over my fingers." He orders as he feels you getting tense around his fingers.
âMmmhp fuckâ you moan.
He curses under his breath as he feels your walls tighten around his fingers, your moans becoming louder. He watches your face contorting in pleasure, feeling more satisfied with himself as he sees you getting closer to the edge.
âMhh Matt Iâm gonna cumâ you moan feeling close.
He grins, his eyes flashing with excitement as he feels your impending orgasm. "That's it, baby, give it to me," he growls, finger-fucking you with abandon, his thumb pressing hard on your clit as he coaxes your climax from you. "Cum all over my fingers, slut,"
âMmh fuckâ you moan as you cum hard on his fingers.
"That's it, baby, let it out. So good, so fucking perfect," he praises, continuing to stroke you through your intense orgasm, prolonging the pleasure. As your spasms slowly subside, he pulls his fingers from your dripping pussy, bringing them to his lips. He sucks his fingers clean, a look of satisfaction on his face as he savors the taste of your cum. "Mmm, you taste so sweet, baby," he says, his eyes locked on yours, the connection between you crackling with energy.
He leans in, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, sensual kiss. The taste of your essence lingers on his tongue, a delicious reminder of the pleasure he's given you. His hand trails down your side, tracing the curve of your waist as he pulls you closer.
You moan into the kiss and move to his lap strangling him.
Matt grunts as you straddle him, your legs wrapping around his waist as you press your body against his. He can feel the heat radiating from between your thighs, the evidence of your arousal soaking through his pants and leaving a wet spot on his lap.
He groans, his hands moving to cup your ass, pulling you in closer as he deepens the kiss. His tongue explores your mouth, dancing with yours in a sensual rhythm. "You're so fucking wet for me, aren't you?" he breathes against your lips, his voice low and husky with desire. He's hard beneath you, his cock straining against his pants as he grinds against your core. "You want this, don't you?
You nod and keep kissing him letting out muffled moans.
"That's it, baby, show me how much you want it," he growls, his hands gripping your ass tightly as he grinds his hips up against yours. He breaks the kiss to trail his lips down your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin, leaving marks.
Matt groans, his hands moving to cup your breasts through the thin fabric of your shirt. "You're so fucking sexy" he whispers huskily, his voice dripping with lust. He can't get enough of you, your moans driving him wild with desire. He pulls your top down, revealing your breasts. "Fuck, look at you,"
He trails his finger over your bare breasts, teasing your nipples until they harden beneath his touch. He then leans down to take them into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around them, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. "You like that, baby?"
âMhmâ you moan and keep grinding against him.
"That's right, grind on my cock," he groans, his hands gripping your hips to meet your movements. He continues to suck and nibble on your nipples, his mouth hot and eager against your skin. "I can feel how much you want this, how much you need to be filled up."
He continues to grind against you, his cock throbbing in anticipation as he whispers dirty promises into your ear. "I'm going to make you scream my name, baby. I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow."
âPlease Mattâ you whimper. He picks you up and takes you to his room.
He carries you to his bedroom, his lips still trailing hot kisses along your neck and collarbone. He lays you down on the bed, his body hovering over yours as he continues to kiss and nip at your skin. He trails his fingers down your body, stopping to circle over your nipples before continuing further south. "I need to taste you," he growls, his voice low and full of desire. He moves down between your legs, spreading them apart as he goes.
He buries his face between your thighs, his tongue delving into your slick heat as he devours you. He groans at the taste of your arousal, his fingers digging into your hips as he eats you out with wild abandon.
âMmhf Fuck Mattâ you moan as you arch your back.
His name is music to his ears as he doubles his efforts, his tongue thrusting deep into your pussy as he sucks on your clit. He can feel your walls fluttering around his tongue, your juices dripping down his chin as he feasts on your arousal.
"Fuck yes, baby, you taste amazing," he groans against your sensitive flesh, his words muffled but filled with desire. He continues his relentless assault on your clit, his tongue flicking and circling the swollen bud as he drives you closer to the edge.
âIâm so closeâ you moan.
He can hear the need in your voice and he knows you're close. He sucks harder on your clit, his fingers slipping inside you to fill the space his tongue leaves behind, thrusting deep and rubbing against the rough patch of skin on the roof of your pussy.
You let out a loud moan as you cum hard on his tongue.
"Yes, that's it, cum for me baby," he growls, his face buried between your thighs as he laps up every drop of your release. He keeps his tongue pressed against your spasming pussy, prolonging your orgasm and milking you of every last tremor.
He grins against your thighs, satisfied with the reaction he got from you. He slowly pulls his tongue and fingers out of you, savoring the lingering taste of your arousal and the slick feeling of your release on his skin. "You taste so fucking good, baby,â
He presses a tender kiss to your sensitive, still-quivering flesh before crawling up your body, his mouth and chin glistening with your juices. "I need to be inside you now," he growls, his cock hard and ready against your thigh.
âMhm please Mattâ you whine.
âOh, baby, you're so wet and ready for me.â He positions himself at your entrance, the head of his cock pressing against your opening. He looks down at you, his eyes burning with desire. "You want me to fuck you, baby? You want me to make you cum again?"
âYes Matt pleaseâ
He smirks a little at your eager answer before thrusting himself inside you. He groans at the feeling of being surrounded by your tight heat, his cock slipping in easily thanks to how wet you are. "Fuck, you're so tight, baby.â
âAhh Matt youâre so bigâ you whimper arching your back.
"I know, baby, and you feel amazing wrapped around me," he groans as he starts to move, pulling back slowly before thrusting in deep again. He sets a steady, relentless pace, each stroke hitting that special spot inside you that makes your toes curl and your walls flutter around his cock.
You moan loudly, your walls tightening more with each thrust.
"You like that, baby? You like me fucking you hard?" He grunts, leaning down to suck a mark onto your neck, just above your collarbone, his thrusts becoming rougher, his cock slamming into your cervix with each hit, with each thrust, his jaw clenched in effort as he tries to hold back his own orgasm.
âMhhmp oh god Matt i'm going to cumâ you moan pathetically as you feel that knot in your stomach about to explode.
"Cum for me, baby! I want to feel you squeeze my cock as you come undone," he growls, his thrusts becoming erratic and forceful as he chases his own release. The base of his shaft pulses against your clit with each movement, providing additional stimulation that pushes you over the edge.
Your moans nearly come out as screams of pleasure as you squirt all over is cock.
"Fuck yes!" Matt groans loudly, nearly losing his balance as you squirt, the feeling nearly triggering his own release. His hips thrust frantically as he does his best to prolong the pleasure, the pulsing of his cock growing more and more erratic as he releases inside you.
"Mmmhhh... so fucking good..." He sighs as he collapses onto you, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath, his still-throbbing cock buried deep inside you.
Your legs still shaking a bit from your orgasm when you hear sound coming from the hallway.
âMatt, Y/n where are you guys?â Nick asks.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
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A 44 year old man goes to a K-Pop Concert
I promised you a report on the K-pop concert that I, a 44-year-old accountant, went to a couple of weeks ago with my wife and daughter in Toronto. So here it is.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f62293b1b2eb5d77bf1caa0a3242c5da/4a1a45d5aa4c9dd6-bc/s540x810/4e77274b7e3af202ef20c01eb364d25903edb29e.jpg)
The band we saw were Ateez. They're my daughter's favourite band and my wife's second favourite. I know most of my mutuals are similarly aged like me and may not be familiar with them so let me give you a brief primer on Ateez.
Imagine the most attractive eight men you can think of, just unfathomably beautiful specimens of aesthetic perfection, and make them sing songs that somehow combine the subjects of 'dancing like nobody is watching' with 'we live in a dystopian hellscape that we must all work together to overthrow'. Give them an ongoing music video story lore that literally nobody - not even the band themselves - understand, so that online discussion of their visual motifs looks more like the fevered rantings of a conspiracy theorist, complete with speculation about alternate realities and time being a Moebius strip. There is also a giant sand timer, for some reason.
That's Ateez. That's what you need to know.
Now, K-pop concerts are very different to the gigs I've been going to for the last 28 (!) years. There's no support act, for a start. Also the band perform for like, three hours, with breaks for costume changes and interpretive dance. Furthermore, hanging above everything is the constant looming threat of mandatory military service.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3a4bdb8ebd8369b9f80289989ac052be/4a1a45d5aa4c9dd6-9d/s540x810/07688916e7ad7ad10956ccc00ed899f855aba9a3.jpg)
So this being my first such concert, I wasn't sure what to expect. What happened was difficult to explain, but I will try as I am already six paragraphs into this write-up and I'm too invested to stop now. Here goes:
In his Wicked + Divine comics series, Kieron Gillen places modern pop icons as deities, feeding upon and gaining strength from the worship of their fans at the altar of musical performance. I thought I understood that metaphor. I thought I understood it AS a metaphor. I was wrong, because that night Ateez WERE Gods with a capital G and we were their worshippers, a crowd emanating adoration (in the religious and non-religious senses), bestowing strength upon them and gaining their strength in return.
If that sounds weird, it probably is. But as pointed out above, I have lived over four decades and never yet experienced anything like the overwhelming passion of that crowd, the utter abandon with which they conveyed their love for the band.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/247c7d4295771460b8b5ffbc6751a3bb/4a1a45d5aa4c9dd6-56/s540x810/9efdfc42f28e31a955de4542e99ed83cc1e79853.jpg)
"But Fuiru, what of the actual music?" you ask. Thinking back, there was a moment in one of their songs - I can't remember which - where I watched the stage, and the people around me, taking it in, and I thought, "Man, I just love Music". But that doesn't answer your question, sorry.
Ateez's music is bloody great. As a tiresome indie/rock/metal kid I'm resisting the urge to add the usual tiresome indie/rock/metal caveat of "...for pop music" because honestly that does it a disservice. They have some genuinely amazing songs. Halazia is an absolute fucking masterpiece that descends into furious hardcore breakbeat. Bouncy is a big, brash racket that somehow is also a perfect pop song. Utopia, Wonderland, and Guerrilla are similarly superb. The obligatory boy band slow number is represented by Dancing Like Butterfly Wings which will make you cry because you will forever associate it with your twelve year old daughter being pointed to and waved at by her favourite Ateez member (Seonghwa) because of her Seonghwa-branded lightstick.
That might just be me, though.
So in summary: being a 44 year old dad at his first K-pop concert rules and you should endeavour to partake in the experience if the opportunity arises.
Finally, for any Atiny reading this: my bias would be San or Seonghwa but my wife and daughter said they were taken so itâs Mingi. My concert outfit (designed and created by my offspring) reflects this.
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A second wife and a poet.
Cregan Stark x second wife! Blackwood!reader
Summary: The North pressured Cregan to marry again. He hates the thought of it, but at least the reader is someone he's comfortable with.
Warnings: mentions of death, fighting, battles, arguing, cursing, smut (p in v), and all that other stuff
A/n: Based on an ask sort of! This thing is so long I'm so sorryđ
Masterlist
..........................................
Cregan did not wish to marry again. The thought terrified him.
But he understood that his wishes were not taken into account when he was born with the Stark name.
Now, he nervously stood outside of the Winterfell walls, awaiting the young woman that would become his second wife.Â
Lord Samwell Blackwood's only daughter.Â
Cregan was not a religious man, but he prayed that this marriage would be better.
It would help further the alliance. That's what he told himself.Â
He swallowed the lump in his throat as her carriage came to a halt.Â
She stepped out.
She was different than what Cregan had remembered.
The Blackwood hair was obvious, the dark curly locks running down her shoulders effortlessly. He'd seen that same shade atop of Benjicot's head.Â
But the manner in which she carried herself was different. Very⌠un-Blackwood like.
She was nervous.
He'd never seen any of the Blackwoods ever hold an inkling of doubt to them. It was a strange sight.
Not that he could blame her.
She curtsied out of politeness, keeping her head down.
He shook his head, "Y/n."
Her head shot up to look at him. To really look at him.
She remembered him visiting Raventree Hall in their youth. Cregan had found a friendship in her brother, Benjicot, as did their fathers.
This had prompted lots of visits in the past.
Until Rickon Stark died and Cregan took the mantle his father left behind. He was only thirteen.
Now in his twenties, the permanent exhaustion shown in his eyes. The years had been hard to him.
He was nothing like the young boy that had once sparred with her brother.
"Cregan," she greeted back.
Their eyes met.
It was awkward. What do you say to someone you know and yet, don't know at all? Especially when both sides had endured such grief.
"Did-"
"I heard-"
They both stopped, not intending to interrupt one another.Â
"Please," Cregan gestured.
"No, I insist that you do."
An unsure breath escaped him. "Did Benji not accompany you?"
It was strange to hear the formidable Lord of Winterfell still refer to her brother as "Benji" as if they were kids again.
"No," she swallowed. "He had⌠more pressing matters to attend to. I hope you understand."
"Of course," he offered. "I was saddened, you know. To hear of the loss of your father."
The Battle at the Burning Mill had left her father, Samwell, and her cousin, Davos, dead in the dirt alongside many other men who fought by their side. It was a victory, but with victory came loss.
"As I, with your wife, I mean."
He nodded. "Thank you."
Silence swallowed them whole, both at a loss of what else they could possibly say to ease the other.
He took the time to study her, making a note of the way she tapped the tips of each finger to her thumb. A nervous tick, he made a note of. Benji did the same when he grew angry.
"Did your journey fair well-"
"-Yes," she quickly answered.
They both cursed inwardly.
"Right. Perhaps I should show you⌠Indoors?" He asked awkwardly.
She nodded. "Yes, yes of course."
âŚ
She sat at the desk, laying her head down onto the wooden surface.Â
Judging by the way Cregan had only lingered in the doorway before, she had guessed that he hadn't entered the room since the passing of his wife.
Everything in it had remained the same.Â
It felt wrong. Like an invasion of privacy to open her own closet and see another woman's dresses in it.
"Shall I get these out for you, my lady?" Her handmaiden tried to ease.
"Leave them," she muttered. "I'll get them out when I'm ready."
"And when will that be?"
She sighed in defeat. "I dunno."
âŚ
What a lousy first impression.
Cregan felt like punching a wall.
What an idiot.
Perhaps he was destined to always have a wife estranged to him. For that's how this one had begun.
It should've been easy. It was Benji's sister, for fuck's sake.
He tried to rack his mind of memories of his time in Raventree Hall. He was a much younger soul then and the memories of it had faded significantly with time.
But he did remember her faintly.
She was always around, but she never bothered them. Never spoke up. She always was somewhere near with a book or a thread and needle.Â
He just remembered the essence of her, but that was enough.
And the thought that war had broken the siblings up put an ache in Cregan's heart. He knew she'd be safe with him, but still. Benjicot couldn't even leave his duties long enough for a wedding ceremony. And she had just⌠accepted that.
This was his second chance.Â
He had to do better.
âŚ
At dinner, he tried to ease the tension.Â
He cleared his throat, "You can write to your brother. If you wish, that is."
She set her spoon down gently and folded her hands into her lap. "That's kind. It would ease his mind to know I made my journey safely."
He grunted and took another sip of his broth. He tried to think of anything else.Â
But she spoke up again, "I was waiting to ask but⌠perhaps I should just ask."
He tilted his head down, "Yes?"
"Your son⌠he lived, didn't he?"
He could tell she shook a little as she asked. "He did. He eats in his room."
"Oh."Â
"Did you⌠Did you want to meet him?"
She pauses and a genuine smile breaks out on her face. "I'd be hard to be Lady Stark if I didn't."
He hangs his head in mock shame and he chuckles. "Right. That was foolish of me to ask."
"No, I understand." She shifted in her seat. "You're hesitant to replace his mother. You don't have to explain that to me."
"It's not that," he countered. "Well, not exactly. It's confusing."
"Alright?"
"MyâŚ" he paused. "Arra was one of my greatest friends in this world. But she was no wife. Our friendship grew to duty, and the love we shared for other another faded quickly. We seemed to argue more than we got along towards the end. It was⌠disheartening."
"I see."
He looked up at her and pushed himself to continue. "I fear you and I are not an even match."
A sudden jolt was felt in the pit of her stomach. "What?"
His eyes widened as he realized his choice of words, "No. No. I just meant⌠gods." He rubbed his forehead. "I have⌠experienced all the wonders of a man and wife already and you have not." Cregan looked around in thought. "Just seems unfair to you. In many ways."
She considered his words. He was right, she couldn't deny that. "Do you believe my brother had any doubt in this betrothal?"
Cregan's brows came together in confusion. "I don't understand."
"Everyone thought him so eager to sign me away, but that's anything but the truth. He knows you, Cregan. If it were any other man wishing for my hand, he would have denied it. Not you."
That brought an unusual warmth to his chest. "Why?"
The ends of her lips quirked up into a smile. "He said he'd never seen an equal opponent such as you. And only an equal opponent would be worthy of something so precious to him."
"Do you agree with him?" Cregan's voice whispered.
"I'm starting to."
The silence that had once been full of tension began to ease into one of comfort.Â
"All in your family are true warriors as well, my lady. Only a fool would deny that. Especially your father and⌠and your cousin, you said?"
She nodded, "Yes, yes, my cousin, Davos. Hard to think that we've considered the battle a victory with such a devastating loss."
He hummed, his interest shifting when speaking of something he may have insight on: war. "The Brackens lost family alike."
She scoffed. "All for a few more feet of territory? For stones?"
"Careful," he warned. "They didn't fight for stones. You're smarter than that. What did they fight for? Truly?"
She thought about it carefully before giving in to what answer she knew he was looking for. "Power."
"Exactly. Your father died for the chance of future Blackwoods gaining greater power. That's much nobler a death than stones, don't you think?"
"He died for Benjicot, then?"
"And you," he offered.
That struck a nerve in her. "Then why do I sit safely behind the walls of Winterfell when I should be fighting by my brother's side for future Blackwoods?"
There it was.
He knew she'd have Blackwood fire in there somewhere.
He only had to light it.
"Do you want to wage wars, sweet girl?"
"No," she countered. "But if it must be done."
"Spoken like a true noble," he chuckled. "It's not nearly the same, I know, but the Stark forces may appreciate your support. If you'll bless us with it."
She looked confused.Â
"Please tell me you wish to become a Stark. I cannot bare to think I'm forcing you into a marriage you'll be unhappy in. I've done it before and I won't do it again."
She felt a twist in her stomach at the tough man's voice faltering. She breathed in sharply, "I⌠I think I do."
Cregan couldn't accept that. "Please," he urged her to continue.
"I⌠I've been caught on the idea of younger you." She tilted her head to the side in thought as she stared at her bowl. "I'd happily marry my brother's best friend. But⌠the Lord of Winterfell? I dunno."
"He is one and the same," he protested.
"Is he?"
Cregan had never been rendered speechless in his life, yet there was a first for everything.
She let the silence set before speaking up, "Cregan was a boy with the very essence of life in him. I always thought he'd become a brave knight. He had a fire to him that you so rarely see. But Lord Stark? He has duty written into his very skin. The fire seems to have been tamed by sacrifice. He doesn't want a second wife. Nor do I blame him."
"I never said that!"
"You and I both know if Arra had birthed you one more heir, you wouldn't marry again at all."
"Stop." He commanded.
She faltered, pausing her words at his tone.
"It is true that I marry out of pure encouragement from my council. But that does not mean the end of our friendship. Please don't let it be."
"Cregan, you and I were never friends. You marry me with the memories of friendship you have with my brother. You know I am not him."
"I do!" He yelled. He softened. "I do. You're not like him at all."
That weighed on the two of them like bricks.Â
She stared down at her bowl again. "I wish you'd have known my cousin, Davos, closely. My father used to say that the gods placed twins in separate wombs to keep us from ending the world." She laughed lightly, "He and I were inseparable."
"I heard Lord Davos only loved sparring and getting into trouble."
"Do you believe he only managed trouble on his own?" She questioned. "He was fiery on his own, yes, but I only encouraged it. I should have been there. At the border. I could've⌠I could've kept the battle from starting."
Cregan scoffed lightly, "There was no way to keep an inevitable battle from beginning."
"But I might have prolonged it all further," she tried. "Kept the tension just a while longer."
"Until what? Until it is your brother losing his head? Or worse, you?"
"Yes."
She wasn't that nervous girl from before. No. She was indeed a Blackwood. There was no question about that.
He sighed and clenched his fist. "We wed tomorrow. I'd rather my betrothed sleep well tonight with hopeful wishes rather than regrets and guilt."
She stood. "Maybe you're marrying the wrong woman then."
He watched her walk out, completely stunned.
It reminded him too much of Arra.
âŚ
The tension hadn't relieved itself if the glare in Cregan's eyes were any indicator.
It was a steady glare. More one that seemed to study her, trying to figure out what makes her tick.Â
Seems she was the very thing that made him tick.
She had glared back at the beginning of the ceremony, insistent on giving back every look that was sent her way, but slowly, that had changed to something else.
Her nerves returned.
He didn't notice at first, but he saw the way her hand shook so violently she almost didn't get the cup to her lips without spilling the liquid inside.
He was wracked with guilt.
He had once again forced a woman to "love" him.
"I've called off the bedding ceremony," he spoke lowly. "If that's any help."
"It's not."
He was shocked by the way she had so easily pushed away his attempt to ease her. Like she'd kicked the last leg Cregan was standing on.Â
"Get up."
"What?"
"Get up. We're going."
She stared in shock. "Cregan, forgive me. I was-"
"C'mon. I'm firm on this."
When she didn't move, he grabbed her by her bicep, yanking her up and beginning to pull her through the dining hall. Both ignored the cheers and chants of what the people believed would happen in the couple's private chambers.
Once dragged to his room, she pulled her arms from his vice grip and smoothed out her dress. "Is that what you wanted? A newly wedded wife in tears? Because you're awfully close to it, Lord Stark."
"Fuck," he cursed under his breath. "I'm not sleeping with you tonight. I refuse."
"What?"
"I'm not sleeping with you tonight. I refuse." He repeated with more force. He ran a hand through his hair.Â
She shrugged off his cloak that he had placed on her during the ceremony and threw it aside. "You won't even let me perform my duties because you don't want to fulfill yours?"
"Y/n," he warned. "That's not how I meant it."
"I can't read you. Do you hate me? Do you love me? Gods, you're insufferable."
"-and you're blind."
"Oh! Enlighten me, then, oh great Lord Stark."
"I loved you. I still do."
She spun around to face him.
Cregan stood firmly. His eyes spoke more than his words did. He was insistent on having her trust him.Â
"I don't believe that," she scoffed.
"Oh really?" He walked to his bureau and pulled out a small wooden box. He threw it onto the bed. "Have a look for yourself."
She looked him up and down before hesitantly walking over to the box. Sitting next to it, she pulled it open and examined the contents.Â
Letters.
"What is this?"
"Every letter I tried to write to you the day I became the Lord of Winterfell. I had⌠foolish dreams of maybe having you as a wife. I was only a boy then."
She sat straight. "Why keep them?"
He shrugged. "I'm sentimental, I suppose. I had tried to burn them- many times, in all honestly. Couldn't bring myself to do it."
"May I?"
He nodded, anxiety filling his gut.Â
Her nimble fingers picked up the letter that sat on top.
"There's a few others in there," he informed her as he sat on the other side of the bed. "All regarding you, of course. Letters to your brother, your father, you know."
She unraveled the latter despite shaky fingers.Â
My loyalist friend Benjicot, I heard of the passing of your father. You have my deepest condolences. I understand all too well the feelings of honor and duty that have now been placed on your shoulders despite the grief that already weighs them down. Regarding your sister, perhaps she may find a home in Wint
The letter stopped there, and she looked up at him.
"Some are⌠more recent, actually."
She nodded. "I see that."
He leaned to her, reading the letter with a light blush. "I'm not very well-spoken in writing, so I make lots of drafts."
"And they're all here?"
"Yes. Yes, all of them." He tapped the side of the box with his large hand. "Well, most of them."
She decided not to press the matter, placing the letter back and picking up an older one from deeper in the box.
This one had much sloppier handwriting, the page evidently aged.
Lady Blackwood, As the Leader of the North, I want you and Benji to visit as often as possible. I might be a lord, but I will always have time for the Blackwoods. Perhaps I can even teach you archery like you have so desperately wanted. Everyone knows I'm better at it than Benji is. Cregan
"Why did you never send them?"
He scoffed. "Read that again and tell me that was ever appropriate to send as the Warden of the North."
"You were a child then, as was I. It's in good favor."
"It's unbecoming of a cold northern lord, though." He reached out to take the letter from her but she held it out of his reach.
"Only yesterday, you told me this boy and the man in front of me were one and the same."
"And they are," he urged.
"That's bullshit and you know it."
"It's not!"
"Prove it."
He stared with an unreadable expression.Â
She was insufferable, stubborn, witty, gracious, giving, honestâŚ
He crashed his lips onto hers.
She let out a small yelp in surprise, but just as quickly melted into him, kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm.
"This," she panted again his lips. "This is a bad idea."
He kissed her again, then pulled away just enough to speak, pressing his forehead to hers. "What is?"Â
"Loving each other."
He grinned. "I don't care."
She groaned and moved back to him, capturing his lips again.Â
He pushed her onto the bed, throwing the wooden box onto the ground with a loud crash before getting on top of her.Â
She tried to sit up at the sound, breaking away from him for only a moment, "you could've torn them."
"Why does it matter?"
"I want to save them."
He chuckled, "Lovely woman, you'd rather save scraps of paper from a man's youth than indulge in your desires with the very man that wrote them?"
She ignored the butterflies in her stomach as Cregan's thumb brushed over her cheek. "I never said that."
Cregan tilted his head in teasing disbelief. "Then tell me what you want."
"I want-" she paused. What did she want? Mere moments ago, she wanted to return to Raventree Hall and be rid of the northerner. Now, she wanted to bask in anything that he gave her. "I want Arra's dresses out of my wardrobe."
Cregan blinked, clearly taken out of the moment. He sat up. "What?"
She sat up with him. "You may keep them if you wish, but I'm tired of the reminder of her presence every morning, noon, and night."
"Consider it done," he urged. "I'll have them moved immediately. Any of it you want will be gone within the hour."
"No, I don't-" she sighed. "I don't want her gone, per se. She was a part of you, and therefore a part of us. She's given you a son. To rid Rickon of his mother's memory and you of your first wife should be considered a crime."
"But if I live in the past, I can't enjoy what's in front of me."
"Aye, but you're not doing that," she grinned. "You've got a pretty girl in your bed. Seems like you're enjoying the present."
He didn't grin back, only sighing softly and nodding. "I hope you do forgive me. For forcing this."
"Cregan, you did not force it. Benji gave me a choice." When he gawked at her, she continued. "He encouraged me to accept, yes. But he did not force my hand. I wanted to do this. I wanted to marry you."
"You wanted to please your brother and I or you wanted to be Lady Stark?" He questioned.
"I wanted to be the wife of the man I once knew when he was a boy."
He accepted her answer happily, kissing her once again. This time, it was soft and careful.
She reached her hands up into his hair, tugging delicately at the dark strands. His breath hitched and he brought one of his own hands up as well. His hand gripped over hers. He pulled his hand into a fist, forcing hers as well, and encouraged her to tug harshly on his hair. She took the encouragement, beginning to yank.Â
He felt a shiver go down his spine and his mouth opened in a moan. She grinned and took that as an invitation to kiss down his jaw. He tilted his head up to give her room to do so.
"I⌠I lied," he whispered as his hands roamed over his waist. "I think I do want you tonight."
She nipped at a spot under his neck. "I think I want you too."
He grunted at that and pulled her away from him. "Tell me what you want. Truly."
"What do you mean?"
He sighed, "I've had a first wedding night. I want you to have yours the way you want it."
"I⌠I don't know what I want."
He absentmindedly rubbed at her hip. "Then perhaps we'll try things until you decide."
She nodded. "ThâŚthings? There are multiple things to do?"
He pulled her head back a bit by her hair and kissed her pulse point. "Many."
"But howâŚ"
He couldn't lie and say he hadn't been yearning for some kind of release these last few years. Between Arra's pregnancy, the birth, and the years after her death, Cregan had not laid with another woman. He found himself yearning desperately for touch, of any sort really.
And how lucky was he that hers was so soft.Â
He pushed her down on the bed softly. "Trust me?"
"In every lifetime."
Overcome with lust, he pressed his lips to hers again, starting back up the heat in their stomachs that they had played with so eagerly.Â
Cregan reached up the tunic on his back, pulling it over his head. He tried to connect their lips again but she kept him from doing so.
She trailed a hand down his shoulder and to his bicep, taking in the sight of his bare torso. Her fingers paused at the feeling of a scar on his arm. Her fingers faltered.Â
"It's a rather nasty scar," he whispered.
"My brother gave it to you."
"Aye," His eyes lit up. "He pushed me into a stream and-"
"-and you fell on a rock. I remember my father being so angry with him."
He kissed her yet again, and the two continued as before with a deeper connection than they had thought.
He pulled her skirt up with one hand and caressed the inside of her thigh.Â
She jerked at the feeling in uncertainty. "What d-"
"Just tell me how it feels, alright?"
When she nodded, he spoke again, "Sit up for me. We'll get this dress off of you."
âŚ
"Cre⌠CreganâŚ"
"I know. You're doing good," he panted into her ear.Â
"I⌠there's⌠a feelingâŚ"
"I know. I know, it's alright."
He pushed down on her stomach as he thrusted deeper into her, making her moan and tears pull at her eyes.Â
"Give in to it. It's okay."
"I can't⌠I⌠I'm scaredâŚ" she sobbed lightly.
The hand on her stomach moved around her body, arching her back up to him. He held her closely against him in an attempt to comfort her. "I've got you." He placed open mouth kisses on her neck.
She scratched at his back harshly as she reached her peak. A whine left her lips.
"I've got you," he panted as his hips slowed when his peak neared. "I've got you."
She felt overstimulated and exhaustion filled her body. She closed her eyes for just a moment. Just a moment.
âŚ
She woke up to the feeling of sunlight on her skin. Her eyes creaked open.
She groaned at the ache between her legs, a slight shake in the muscles of her legs.Â
But what caught her attention was the tray that laid on the other side of the bed. A full breakfast sat where Cregan had supposedly once laid.Â
She sat up and picked up the note that lay on the tray.Â
My beautiful wife, I hope you'll take the words of a poorly worded poet to heart, for this is a letter that I finally am sending you. No more drafts hidden in boxes and no secrets to keep. My first draft shall always be my last when addressed to you. I dare say I despise arguments. I'm not as highly tempered as your brother, and I find that I don't run hot. I suppose that it's the chill of the North that has done that. Regardless, may this be our last fight for a long while. I have had Arra's clothing removed from all closets, and the traces of her are now few. Her portrait stays in the library and her remains in the crypts, but the greatest things she left behind were my boy and a gash in my heart. I believe you'll care for both of those things greatly. But you'll not live in that room. You'll find your dresses in my wardrobe now. I don't believe I can part from you for too long now that I have you. This will be my first and last letter to you, for now you'll hear everything from my lips alone. But I thought you deserved at least one letter after all these years. Your Cregan
"I told them to fetch me when you woke up," he commented from the doorway.
She gasped at his sudden appearance, "Good morning."
"It's after high noon, I dare say."
"Is it?" She looked at the window. "I'm sorry. It was not my intention to-"
"-Are you alright?" He interrupted.
Her brows furrowed. "I'm fine."
"I've never had a woman succumb to sleep like you did. Felt I did something wrong." He rubbed at his shoulder anxiously.
"No, it felt⌠it felt good. Quite good," she nodded. She took into account that she was still naked in his bed, but she was rather clean. "Did youâŚ"
He flushed. "Oh. Um.. no. No, I didn't. Don't worry."
"Why not?"
"Well, it's not that I didn't want to," he tried to explain then backtracked. "I mean⌠you fell asleep and once I knew you were alright, I um⌠I couldn't do that to you."
"That's," she hummed. "That's noble of you."
He chuckled. "It's the least I could do for you. And the note?" He asked to change the subject.
She held it up and reread it. "Thank you. For⌠all of it."
He stepped to the side and kissed her head, "Anything for my beautiful wife."
"And you, my poet, Lord Stark."
He gripped her chin and forced her head up to look at him. "Don't let the others know," he teased.
"I dare not. This is something I want all to myself."
"Then you have me- heart, mind, and body."
.......................................
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Tech how-to article written like a recipe. Is that anything? Fuck it.
Old-Fashioned Setting Up a Password Manager
For this project you will need:
One computer
One full-featured browser
One pre-made email account, not shared and logged-in
2-5 possible passwords
5-10 accounts to get started with storing passwords.
Before you begin pre-load your computer, logging in to your email account. You can save later prep time by having your primary social media accounts, banking information, email account, and online bills ready to hand.
Go to bitwarden.com and select "create account"; be sure to select "free account" - you can jazz it up later but we're learning the basics now.
Create the account using your primary email address as the login name and one long (but not complicated!) password that you are certain you can remember but is not widely shared online. This is a great way to use information about your favorite movies or songs, not a great place for your kid's or pet's names.
Set up your password hint with a good reminder; be sure to note any punctuation you added, for instance a comma to separate lines of a song or an exclamation point between words of a movie title.
Verify your email account with the password manager, then set up a new password for your email. You may need a phone or access to your extant 2FA tools for this step. Create a login in the password manager, add your email address, and generate a new password, then save the entry. Go to your email account, select "security" and "change password" - enter your old password to confirm then paste your new password manager generated password into the provided text boxes, and save. Log out of your email account, then log back in with your new password. You will need to do this on all of your devices, so make sure you're using a password manager that is accessible across platforms - Bitwarden is recommended for a reason, this is a place where you don't want to skimp when making substitutions!
Repeat the process of resetting passwords to taste; you don't need to do everything all at once, but it's best to start with a serving of 5-8 to get used to the process.
Time: 30min to 2hr DOE Expense: Literally Free Value: Priceless i never have to remember a fucking password again and now neither do you.
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izuku loves to talk about you during interviews
- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you
- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3
- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy
- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you
- it's like his whole personality is HIS WIFE
- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore đ
- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1
"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"
"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"
"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"
"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."
"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"
"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."
"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"
"She is. She's wonderful."
"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"
"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."
"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"
"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."
(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"
"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."
"(sigh)"
"(smiling warmly)"
#w.midizu#izuku x reader#deku x reader#midoriya x reader#deku x y/n#deku x you#izuku x you#bnha x reader#mha x reader#deku#izuku#izuku midoriya x reader#deku headcanons#izuku headcanons#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#mha izuku#bnha izuku#deku x fem!reader
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what you know - ch4: served || r. sukuna
⌠ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
â you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. â
⌠cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. tags will be updated as series continues.
⌠additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
⌠words ; 12k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter
When Sukuna was in the sixth grade, he read A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket for a project. He doesnât remember the plot, the characters, nor any details of real importance about the series, but he knows one thing for sure.
The title could describe how his day unfolded.
Nothing is particularly out of place throughout his morning. He wakes up to the sound of his alarm, blearily rubbing his eyes as he gets out of bed for an early morning workout. He throws his airpods in and turns on his workout playlist as he lifts weights and hops on his treadmill before taking a cold shower to rouse himself from the clutches of drowsiness.
He wakes up the kids, helping Yuji get ready while he multitasks making oatmeal for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for their lunches, which he tosses into their Pokemon lunch bags alongside some snacks. Mornings like these are like clockwork for him, simple and predictable, just how he prefers. No surprises.
With the first snow of the season chilling the air, he bundles both kids up in winter gear and grabs his heavy coat before walking them to school. He sets his alarm for their pickup, allowing him just enough time to get to his final class of the day, albeit a little bit late. Nothing new about that, though. As long as he isnât late for your presentation, thatâs all that matters. Itâs the one thing heâs keeping at the front of his mind so as not to disappoint you.
Heâs not sure why it matters so much, but like an itch he canât scratch, the thought wonât go away. Ever-present and the only thing at the forefront of his mind since he accepted the presentation on your behalf. Heâs not foolish enough to think that thereâs any world in which you want to present at all, even though he knows you wouldnât say no to the extra credit, and he could use it too.
He blinks snow away from his lashes, letting it melt from the warmth of his cheeks as his gaze sticks to the ground before him. His fingers fumble with the metal lighter in his pocket as he walks. Heâs had it for a long time, evidence of how worn it is carved into the steel, but heâd sooner pull it apart and put it back together himself than get rid of it if it failed.
As he reaches the campus with time to spare, he spots one of your friends outside the building to his next class. He recognizes the blonde immediately, the one you sit next to at lunch, though he doesnât recall his name. He knows they share an Accounting class, though him and Sukuna have never interacted beyond brief glances.
Keeping his distance from the blonde, Sukuna pulls out a cigarette as his thoughts are once again back on you, and all he can do is pray the nicotine dulls the feeling of his heart palpitating just at the thought of you like some pathetic teenager. The smoke billows and wisps in the air, more evident than usual in the cold, and he relishes in its brief reprieve from his thoughts.
Itâs lust.
Itâs nothing more than a reminder that he needs to find an excuse for his neighbour to watch his brothers so he can attend one of Gojoâs shitty frat parties and get laid.
With a glance at his watch, he stubs out his cigarette and trudges past the blonde without a glance. He makes his way to his usual seat isolated from the rest of the students in the corner closest to the door in case he needs to leave. Flipping his laptop open, he waits for the old computer to boot up so he can put together a semblance of an outline to work off of for the presentation at the end of the day.
Itâs then that his misfortune begins.
His eyes flicker down to a notification in his email inbox and he sighs at the sight of the contact, his boss at the warehouse looking for him to fill a shift. Right now. He could accept the shift, miss European History, get off in time to pick up his brothers, bring them home, shower, and make it to Art History albeit a few minutes later than heâd intended. That wouldnât be a big deal, you wouldnât present at the beginning of class. It would also give him enough money to begin looking at Christmas gifts for the brats, which is an appealing ideaâŚ
He accepts the shift, and slips out towards the end of class. The shift isnât unlike any other, nothing that would make anyone think this day is worse than any other. Sure, he stepped in a deep pile of snow on his way back from his shift and his ankle damn near froze and his socks are wet, but heâll live. Not the end of the world.
He clocks out and picks up his brothers without a hitch, getting back with enough time to quickly shower the remnants of his shift from his skin and toss on a black hoodie with a Deftones logo across the front, and a pair of black jeans that were strewn over the back of his desk chair. His neighbor would be over any minute and he could head to class, only a few minutes late. An exhausting start to his day, but not bad.
A knock at the door sounds, and Sukunaâs brow furrows. Since when does his neighbor knock? He gave her a key for a reason.
âChoso! Grab that!â He calls as he throws his laptop and textbooks into his backpack, sure the sitter just forgot her keys despite being literally across the hall.
With a sigh, Sukuna casts a glance back at his room to see if heâs forgotten anything, when Choso peeks his head through a crack in the door. âKuna? Someoneâs asking for you.â
The tattooed manâs brow furrows further as he throws his backpack over one shoulder and follows after his little brother, who had shut the door on the person upon realizing it wasnât their neighbor. The little boy stands a small ways back as Sukuna opens the door.
A man dressed in a long, deep gray peacoat with neatly styled hair stands at the door. Something akin to shock flickers in the manâs gaze at the sight of Sukuna, but it hardens as he addresses him.
âIâm looking for Ryomen Sukuna.â
Sukunaâs eyes narrow, his posture straightening. âWhat do you want?â
âCan you confirm youâre Ryomen Sukuna?â The man doubles down, keeping his expression indifferent.
With a scowl, Sukuna nods. âYeah, Iâm Sukuna. What do you want?â Thereâs more bite this time as Sukuna repeats his question.
âExcellent. I am here to serve you with legal documents. Please ensure that you attend your court hearing on March 23rd. By accepting these documents, you have been officially notified. Should you decline them, I am still obligated to make a note of this interaction.â
âThe fuck?â Sukuna snatches the manilla envelope from the manâs hands, ripping it open and pulling the documents out. His eyes scan the words on the document, widening in disbelief. âYouâre fucking kidding me.â
â
If Sukuna were a better man, he would have put your presentation in his calendar. He would have made an alarm. He would have sent you an email. Anything to let you know he was occupied. If he was a better man, he wouldnât have torn his court documents in two. The ripped paper is hardly any concern when the handle on his door fell to the ground with a clank with the force he used to shut the door. At least one of those could be fixed with tape.
If Sukuna was a better man, he would have noticed his mistake before it got dark out.
With his head in his hands, he stares out the window by the table at the back of his apartment, brimming with anger when it all comes back to him.
The fucking presentation.
He wants to tell himself that he shouldnât care, that youâre just a nuisance that wormed your way into his life and his mind. He wants to tell himself that you donât matter and that he should forget about you like he had tried to last week, and accept that like everyone else in his life, he let you down.
But when he envisions your genuinely nervous expression at the thought of presenting even with him, his blood runs cold at the thought of you presenting without him.
He balls his hand into a fist, trembling from the sheer force of strength he puts into flexing his muscles.
âFuck!â He hisses, slamming his palm down onto the table as he pushes himself up, sending ripped paper tumbling to the floor. His chair scrapes loudly across the scuffed hardwood of the dining space as he rushes to the door, pausing for only a moment at the sight of the handle heâd barely managed to screw loosely back into place. His jaw tightens as he grabs his keys and coat, tugging the door open a bit too hard as he hears the handle fall to the ground with a metallic thud inside the apartment.
As if he wasnât already frustrated enough, this only serves to piss him off further. He considers himself lucky (if it can even be called that at this point) that his neighbor is still willing to watch his brothers (with a warning about the door handle) after the irritated dismissal heâd thrown her way earlier, but heâll fix that bridge later.
Thereâs a more important one on his mind right now.
Heâs not sure why he runs to campus first. Of course you wonât be there. Of course the professor wonât be in class, with the lecture hall closed and locked.
He tries the door again, as though a second tug at the handle might turn back time to three hours ago when he should have been here, but itâs nothing but wishful thinking. With his hand still on the unmoving handle, he slams his head against the door.
âFuck!â With his brothers no longer around to hear, the curse escapes him in a furious roar. Whatever anger had been simmering at the surface for hours now bubbles over and explodes. In a flurry of frustration and pent up emotions, he reaches into his pocket and tosses the first thing that hits his fingers.
His lighter collides with the wall with a dull thud, falling in two pieces to the ground across the hall as a small dent is left in its wake in the drywall.
Sukunaâs hands rake through his hair, his teeth gritted as he inhales sharply, grappling with the weight of his emotions. He stumbles back until his back collides with the wall behind him, sliding down it with his head in his hands. Heâs not sure how long he sits there before the sound of the cold wind whipping at the door outside brings him back to the present.
Running a hand over his face again, he grits his teeth as he stares across the hall at the lighter on the floor and frowns. Pushing himself to his feet, he crouches in front of it as he gathers the lid, hinge, and body, smoothing his thumb over the engraved name of his father on the steel.
Looks like heâll be learning to fix a lighter sooner than he thought. Shoving it back into his pocket, he pulls his hood up over his head and makes his way back out into the cold. Itâs well into the evening now, the cold snowflakes a sharp contrast to his warm skin as the night temperature falls well below that of the early morning.
His gaze rakes the empty Friday night campus. Distant laughter outside one of the bars on campus is all that disrupts the drone of wind and distant cars. Youâre gonna be pissed. You have every right to be pissed, and he knows it, but for some god forsaken reason that Sukuna canât make sense of, he canât leave this be. He doesnât want the image of your fearful expression as you present alone to be the only thing that comes to mind when he thinks of you.
Would it be stupid of him to show up at your door? He doesnât even know. He doesnât know what the protocol is for shit like this because this doesnât happen to people like him. Sukunaâs only long-lasting friendship is with Uraume, who knows him well enough to know not to hold his fuck-ups against him. Itâs a miracle theyâre still friends, if heâs honest with himself. Of course, he has other people he hangs around with here and there, but no one close enough to bother himself with matters like this.
Fiddling with the broken lighter in his pocket, he sets off towards your place, bussing to the nearest stop as he makes his way there from memory. He buzzes your apartment, staring at the ground as the machine rings several times, before it eventually hangs up.
No.
He hits the button for your apartment once more, but you still donât answer. Youâre not home.
âFuck,â he mutters, the remnants of his anger fizzling out into concern and something that twists in his gut- dread. The day has worn him down so much he has half a mind to wait for you to come home and try to talk to you, but with his mind and body as drained as he is, he doesnât think heâll make it home if he doesnât leave now. Thatâs not even taking the cold into consideration.
Trudging back to the bus stop, he slides down against the bench and stares up at the sky. The stars are barely visible, but a few still shine brightly enough to be seen over the glow of the city lights. Like everyone else, he took Astronomy as an elective just for the credits, and he remembers that the stars that donât flicker are planets. He wonders if the one heâs staring at is Jupiter, or maybe Venus.
He wonders if you like looking at the stars.
Sukuna leans forward with his head in his hands. Heâs fucked, heâs so fucked. How many âunfortunate eventsâ do those kids go through in that stupid book? How many more can he take?
He swallows hard, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette and balancing it between his lips, reaching in again for his lighter. Although the cap isnât attached, he hopes it still turns. To his relief, it produces a flame and he sets the broken cap over it to put it out, replacing the pieces into his pocket as he waits for the bus. The nicotine does very little to help dull the edge of his stress.
The ride home is quiet, save for the rumbling of the busâ engine and the tapping of someoneâs foot at the front of the vehicle. Itâs not long before Sukunaâs back in his apartment with a screwdriver in-hand as he holds the doorknob back in place while screwing it back in. Its hold on the wooden frame is loose at best given just how badly heâd jostled it earlier and Sukuna has to turn to super glue to keep it in place.
Putting the kids to bed is a mechanical and empty action, one that he tries with every fiber of his being to hide from them. Theyâre smart kids, he knows theyâve already figured out something is up, but Sukuna needs to keep up appearances and make it seem as though nothing is wrong.
With the kids in bed, he sits at his desk with his laptop, his fingers hovering over your email thread. âsorryâ, he types out, before hitting backspace. âhowd the presentation go?â, he then types out, but thatâs just about the worst thing he thinks he could send. âcan we talk?â he tries next, staring at the screen. He rubs his eyes with his thumb and forefinger before typing and hitting send before he can overthink his words.
[email protected] - Friday, 10:02 PM hey. let me know if you get this. i owe you.
Shutting his laptop, he leans over his desk, his chin propped up on his forearms.
His mind is plagued with thoughts that make it feel as though a dagger is being plunged straight into his chest, each one twisting and dragging it through his body. He wants to fight back, he wants to fight back so violently that he draws blood, but thereâs no one on the receiving end of his anger but the world itself.
He grits his teeth, exerting enough strength that he knows his jaw will be sore tomorrow. Every muscle in his body already aches, why not add another one? With a sigh, he finds it in him to sit back up, staring helplessly at the ceiling.
When Sukuna was in second grade, he read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. He doesnât remember what that one was about either, but that one could be the title for his day as well.
â
You blink up at the ceiling the Saturday following your shitty presentation, emotionally drained. Though Nanami had proposed to take you for breakfast⌠or lunch or dinner, he had allowed you to decline this time, unlike on Friday. Youâre no less thankful for him being there for you, but all you really want to do is take some time for yourself.
Pushing yourself out of bed to make tea, you stare out at the snowscape outside your window, glad youâre staying inside as youâre able to bundle yourself up in blankets. You pick up your laptop, setting it on your lap in front of you as you browse movies, looking for something that appeals to you.
Your email inbox number rises as you peruse streaming services, though you donât bother to look at it. Youâre not awaiting any emails. That is, until itâs rising steadily as youâre watching it.
You know whoâs blowing up your inbox. Itâs not the latest deals from the ramen store down the street, or Netflix requesting to change your password.
Itâs the one person you donât want to talk to.
Your mouse hovers over the âxâ, your finger not even an inch away from clicking. Yet some sort of bitter curiosity gets the better of you as you click on your inbox.
Seven emails, huh?
You sigh as you stare at the emails. Heâs replying to the thread of your last exchanges, so you canât see a preview of what heâs written.
âIs it so wrong of me to be disappointed?â You remember asking Nanami last night, stirring the straw in your milkshake mindlessly.
He sits up in his seat. âHe made you a promise, no? You have every right to be upset.â
You glance up at him. His sharp mahogany eyes are unreadable, but you can sense his sympathy for you through his actions.
Youâre silent, absorbing his words as you return to mindlessly stirring your milkshake. The chatter around you is dull in comparison to the loud thoughts of inadequacy digging their filthy claws into your mind.
âI made a fool of myself.â
âNo one will remember by Monday,â Nanami tries to reassure you, but it falls on deaf ears.
âI think I said that to myself after Prom.â
Nanamiâs lips press together in a tight-lipped frown. âWe were kids, back then. All of us, all of them. Things will be different this time around.â
âDo you believe that, or are you just saying that to reassure me?â You ask with a dry laugh, a nervous reaction to his sympathy.
Kento frowns, leaning forward. âI believe it with my entire being,â he replies firmly, ending his statement with your name. You glance up at him again, observing the way his jaw tenses when he sees your puffy cheeks and reddened eyes. âDonât let this keep you from being you.â
You stare back down at the strawberry milkshake. Itâs melting so steadily itâs hardly a shake anymore, itâs closer to strawberry milk.
âYou know what the worst part of this whole thing is?â
âWhatâs that?â
âWell-â you laugh bitterly, â- I can't decide what's worse; That Iâm actually still worried about him for some reason or that I ever believed him to begin with.â
Nanamiâs gaze flickers away from you as he leans forwards over the table. He contemplates his words carefully, mindful of your obvious feelings for the burly man. âYou don't deserve to contemplate that over someone.â
âWhat am I supposed to contemplate, then?â You chuckle wryly, finally taking a sip of your milkshake. Itâs definitely just strawberry milk now. At least itâs not lukewarm yet.
âDid you see the latest episode of âLove is Blindâ?â
You set your milkshake down with a clink. âDid you?â
âWell⌠No, but I heard Shoko and Haibara speaking about it at lunch.â
You crack a smile. Itâs half-hearted and doesn't reach your eyes, but he senses your amusement anyways and returns your smile.
Now, staring at your unopened emails from Sukuna, Nanamiâs words continue to echo in your mind.
âYou don't deserve to contemplate that over someone.â
So why are you struggling to return to Netflix? You should just watch a movie and forget about him. If his words meant anything, he would have shown up when you needed him. He wouldnât have made promises he couldnât keep.
Sighing, you will yourself to click away and keep your mind off of him as you peruse movies on Netflix. Mindlessly scrolling through each category, itâs by the third one that it occurs to you that you havenât actually been paying attention to your options, your thoughts occupied by the one man youâre trying to avoid.
After showing you his words mean nothing, why are you still so stuck to him like glue? Staring into your mug of tea, you frown when the answers to your problems arenât swirling within the warm drink.
Against your better judgment, you take a sip of your tea and click on his emails.
[email protected] - Friday, 10:02 PM hey. let me know if you get this. i owe you.
Frustration stirs within you. He knew damn well that you would be upset with him for not showing up and the best he can do is an âI owe youâ?
[email protected] - Saturday, 7:23 AM cmon just let me know youre seeing this
[email protected] - Saturday, 7:28 AM fuck, i know i
[email protected] - Saturday, 7:29 AM shit. hit send too early. i know i fucked up but give me a chance to explain
[email protected] - Saturday, 7:33 AM please.
The sight of his plea staring back at you feels like a mockery. Burying your face in your hands, you groan loudly to yourself, as though it might help you make sense of your emotions. Sukuna doesnât plead with people, heâs made that much clear. Everything with him happens on his terms and is purely transactional, so whatâs changed to have him suddenly begging for your attention without asking for anything in return?
Some delusional part of you wants to believe that whatever he wants from you is more than just free babysitting services but heâs given you no reason to believe otherwise.
[email protected] - Saturday, 8:41 AM ill make it up to you. idk how but fuck
You know heâs serious when his email ends with your name. Not Prom Queen, not some nickname that borderlines on flirty, but your given name.
Your mouse hovers over the reply button, thoughts racing through your mind. What if there was an emergency? What if he needs help? What if the boys are in trouble?
No, if something was wrong he wouldnât be rambling over email. Nothing is wrong, Sukuna is just an asshole, and maybe you need to remind yourself of that. Maybe youâre too kind, maybe you give others the benefit of the doubt too often when they donât deserve it. Maybe the rumors about Sukuna were always true. Maybe Gojo is right about him.
With frustration fueling your movements, you close the emails and shut the tab. He doesnât deserve your time and youâll be damned if you let him ruin your weekend with his incessant messages.
Returning to Netflix, you finally settle on a romantic comedy youâve been meaning to watch and get back to your (somewhat cold) tea.
â
After a relaxing Saturday spent by yourself and a rejuvenating Sunday spent alongside Shoko, who convinced you (again) to forget about Sukuna, you feel miles better than you did on Friday.
Shoko was ready to put up a fight with your former project partner when you told her what had happened. Now that classes had ended for the semester and you only found yourself on campus to make use of the library, the extra free time only fueled her fire. Nanami, usually cool and composed, was no better when the two of you joined him in the library.
âHow are you feeling?â He asked, shooting a glance at Shoko who heâs certain had heard about what went down.
âIâm okay. Thanks, Nanamin,â you shoot him a smile. Though you do seem more at ease than Friday, itâs clear that your anxiety and frustration runs deeper than simply being disappointed. Youâre heartbroken. Shoko and Kento would have to be fools not to see the heart eyes youâd had for the History major.
âIf you need anything from me, please feel free to ask,â he offers.
âAnything at all,â Shoko tacks on to his statement.
A smile pulls at your lips, even as you find yourself sighing. âCan both of you stop trying to fight him? Iâm okay now, really.â
âI wasnât suggesting that I would fight him-â Nanami begins, interrupted by Shoko.
âI was.â
You canât help a laugh at her confidence and the grimace that Nanami dons at the sound of said confidence. Regardless, youâre thankful for their support, even if Shokoâs just a bit too eager to teach Sukuna a lesson.
You all fall into easy silence as you study individual subjects, simply enjoying being in the presence of your friends. The morning is quiet and still in the library outside of the sounds of pencils and pens scratching over paper and textbook pages turning. Only a few other students made their way to campus on the first official day of break aside from you, Kento, and Shoko.
Your focus wanes quickly as you find your thoughts wandering, something thatâs been commonplace when you find yourself stuck in your own head. Your thoughts roam back to Sukunaâs emails, to his mention of wanting to explain what happened. Had something happened?
You shake your head, trying to remind yourself heâs not worth your time of day and you have no reason to trust his words.
The morning drags on as you struggle to focus on your studies and the moment the clock strikes noon, youâre immediately packing up and dragging your friends to the lunch hall, desperate for the reprieve from your hopeless thoughts.
âI think Iâm fucked for my Bio exam,â Shoko sighs as you take a seat at your usual table in the empty hall.
âPerhaps if you had spent more time in your lectures and less time smoking outside my Accounting class, you wouldnât feel that way,â Kento bites back, earning a laugh from you. He may be aloof and calm, but sometimes you forget just how sassy the blonde can be when he wants to be.
âShit, that was your Accounting class?â
âMhm.â
âMotherfucker,â Shoko mutters under her breath, looking off to the side when something catches her eye and she sits up straight suddenly. Both you and Kento take notice of her weird behaviour and go to follow her line of sight, turning your gaze over your shoulder until youâre eye to eye with none other than the cause of all your problems.
Sukunaâs chest rises and falls unevenly, as though he ran to the lunch hall in an effort to find you, his usual aloof expression long gone and replaced with something youâve never seen on him before- regret. Heâs in a black winter coat, his hands fiddling with something in his pocket as he stands there as though heâs debating what he wants to do.
Your heart clenches, your chest feeling heavy all of a sudden. All you can do is freeze, staring uncertainly at him as your body flips between a morbid curiosity to know what happened and the sparks of anger that you feel for him putting you through something you made clear you didnât want to do.
Finally making up his mind, he crosses the lunch hall to you, only to be met with Nanami taking a stand in front of you. Kento is a tall man, though you would never know when he stands between you and Sukuna. Even with the horribly obvious disadvantage between them, thereâs something heartwarming about Kento putting himself between you.
Sukunaâs gaze hardens, his jaw tightening at the sight of Kento. He opens his mouth to say something, but Shoko speaks up first.
âLeave, Sukuna.â
Your lips purse as you glance between Shoko and Kento. Itâs sweet, really, of them to try to spare your feelings and fend for you, but you can do it yourself.
âKen, Sho. I can handle this.â Your smile does little to convince either of them, but with a frown, Nanami sits down. With a resounding sigh, youâre able to finally get a good look at Sukuna.
Youâre used to him looking tired, youâre more than used to him looking downright exhausted, but the expression he wears now isnât exhaustion. His muscles are tense, eyes flickering between your friends before they land on you and itâs only then that his distress becomes apparent. Heâs doing what he can to hide it, but his facade of indifference is already cracked, falling apart at the seams.
Your heart twists at the sight as you wrestle with your anger and concern, deciding finally to put yourself first for once. Something Sukuna is clearly incapable of.
âI donât want to see you, Sukuna.â Your voice is firm and even, and youâre grateful youâre able to keep up the hardened shell youâve built up over the weekend. He doesnât deserve your tears or your anxiety.
âI know. You can tell me to fuck off and Iâll listen, but first you gotta give me a chance to explain,â his voice is raspy, evidence of some sort of strain, and you wonder whether heâs been crying or yelling, or maybe heâs been smoking more than usual. Conceivably all three.
You grimace, staring at the wall as you contemplate his words. âYou promise youâll leave me alone after?â
âAnything.â
Heâs so quick to respond that it tugs at your heart strings. Why is everything about this interaction so unfamiliar? Whereâs the Sukuna you know? Even as he had begun to open up over the last month, youâd never seen him like this. His hand is still fidgeting with something in his pocket, the faint sounds of metal scraping ringing out from his pocket, he keeps shooting glances back at your friends, and his usual air of confidence has fizzled out to nothing.
Then thereâs his appearance. His hair is disheveled, pushed back and sticking out on all sides as though heâs been running his hand non-stop through it. His face is gaunt from a lack of sleep based on the dark circles under his eyes and his jaw has been clenched since the moment he arrived. In fact, that might be the only part of this encounter that is familiar, he looks about as angry as usual.
âFine,â you sigh after a moment, observing the way he exhales in relief.
âCome with me?â He asks, nodding his head towards the door.
Kento and Shoko exchange an uncertain glance as you turn back towards the table and grab your coat and pack your backpack again.
âCall us if you need anything,â Kento speaks up, loud enough for Sukuna to hear as the two men throw scowls at one another. Sukuna knows heâs in the wrong, but he still doesnât care for this protective behaviour Ken, as you called him, is throwing his way. Youâre more than capable of taking care of yourself.
âThanks, Kento,â you whisper with a dry attempt at a smile.
With one final challenging stare at the blonde, Sukuna turns to lead the way as you pull your coat on and follow him out into the cold. The snow has been piling up over the weekend, crunching beneath your feet and allowing the cold to seep into you, chilling you straight to your bones. You zip your jacket up further, wrapping your arms around yourself as you follow after Sukuna.
He glances back at you, at the way youâre obviously cold and struggling to keep in step with him given the height of the snow banks heâs trudging through. He diverts his path until youâre both in a spot thatâs been cleared and youâre able to steadily keep pace with him, although you still keep a small distance back.
The air between you is heavy with unspoken words, and Sukuna knows heâll deserve everything you throw his way, though it doesnât make him anymore eager to get to his destination and keep his mouth shut.
âWhere are we going?â Your voice is meek, and those sharp crimson irises observe you quietly from ahead for a moment before he replies.
âFor lunch.â
âOh, I actually brought my own lun-â Your words die in your throat at the sight of his brow twitching as he stares back at you. âOkay.â
You just need to grin and bear it through the next twenty or so minutes, and then you can ask him never to bother you again.
Keeping your eyes on the snow as it kicks up with each step, youâre silent for the remainder of your walk. You keep yourself a few feet back at all times, only catching up once he finally reaches his destination and holds the door as he waits for you to catch up. You pause at the entrance of the building, finding a cafe sign hung above the door.
With a nearly inaudible âthanksâ, you slip past Sukuna into the building. You both pull your hoods down as you take a look around the cafe. Although itâs only a few blocks from the college, youâve never been inside.
The interior is decorated in warm orange hues with deep wooden floors and plants lining the walls. Thereâs shelves from floor to ceiling filled with loaves of bread and a display at the front filled with pastries. Two menus hang above the back of the counter with sandwiches, soups, and salads, alongside cozy looking drink options. You make your way up to the counter slowly, followed closely by Sukuna.
âGet whatever you want,â he grumbles in a tone that would make anyone else think heâs frustrated with you, but it lacks the usual growl that would give that indication.
âHm? Are you sure?â You ask uncertainly, knowing his financial situation all too well.
He nods. Luckily for Sukuna, he took an extra shift and he thanks whatever god will listen that he did and he can afford to buy you lunch. He owes you more than just food, but itâs a start and he hopes he can convince you to give him a chance to prove himself.
He brings a hand up to scratch his chin, the first signs of stubble poking through his skin and faintly visible around his jaw. Itâs a good look on him although he clearly just hasnât had time or bothered to shave.
âWhatâs good here?â You query, doing whatever you can to ease the discomfort between you, even though you want to tear into him for what he did.
âYa havenât been here?â He quirks a brow questioningly. Youâre so close to the college he assumed you would have been. âI like the chicken and beef barley soups. The deli sandwich is good too,â he shrugs.
After a moment, you settle on a small soup and a grilled cheese, letting your attention wander to the plants as you wait for the food while Sukuna pays. Neither of you dare to interrupt the tense understanding keeping both of you from saying something you may regret, allowing the silence to suffocate you.
Even once your lunch is ready and the two of you find a quiet seat in the back corner of the cafe, it does nothing to ease the growing anger threatening to boil over as this frustrating man canât even so much as apologize.
âHowâs your food?â
You drop your spoon into the bowl. It clatters against the edge with a sound that startles the poor employee behind the counter, but your attention is stuck on the man in front of you. The stupid man who canât bother to start with the one thing you truly want from him.
âYou know Iâm not happy with you, right?â
His gaze flickers between the spoon and your eyes, which are filled with a blazing fire heâs never seen from you before. He sighs, setting his own spoon down as he sits up. âFigured as much when you didnât email me.â
âOh, not emailing you back was what tipped you off that I might be upset? Not-â
âI know, I know.â Heâs strangely somber as he accepts the way youâre tearing into him. âI didnât mean to miss the presentation.â He hunches forward over the table on his forearms, his shoulders tense. Thereâs no subtle cocky bravado behind his demeanor as there usually is, heâs simply⌠here, listening intently.
Shaking your head, you chew on your lip as you do what you can to subdue your anger. âIâm sure you didnât mean to miss our other meetings too, but you really had me thinking this time was different.â
âCâmon, those other times werenât a big deal,â he gruffs, his forearms visibly bulging as he flexes the muscles. Heâs doing his best to keep his frustration at bay.
âNo, they werenât. But this time, you signed me up for public speaking. I told you I didnât want to do it. I even trusted you with my insecurities, and I thought because of that, this time would be different.â You swallow hard, shaking your head as you fight back tears. âBut your word doesnât mean anything, does it?â
âThatâs-â His hand balls into a fist as he growls out the beginning of a sentence, but the sharp look you give him has him re-thinking his words. His hand relaxes, his fingers tapping on the table as he diverts his attention to a plant on the wall. âThatâs not fair,â he manages, strained.
âHow is that not fair? You told me you would handle it and you knew how I felt about presenting. How is that fair to me?â Your voice is low, somewhere between a whisper and a yell as you try to keep your voice down and more importantly even despite the tears pricking at your eyes.
Sukuna adjusts the way heâs sitting, his hunger subsiding at the sight of your growing frustration with him. âItâs⌠not fair to you.â All he can do is agree, because he knows he deserves this.
âSo why couldnât you grow a pair and at least warn me you wouldnât be there? I could have prepared something at least!â You make a motion in the air with your hand in disbelief as your rage grows.
Sukunaâs jaw tightens as memories of why he missed the presentation flood his mind and god how he wants to walk out right now and not worry about you or your feelings, or hurting you, but that would be too simple for Sukunaâs life. No, whatever force of nature Sukuna had angered wanted him to suffer, wanted him to sit here and listen to your agony, pinned to the seat by his reverence for you.
He drags his hands over his face, shaking his head like a dog in an effort to come to his senses and come up with something to say.
His silence is somehow worse than his usual devil-may-care attitude. At least you know how to handle his arrogance and anger. His silence only serves to further the insult of his behavior. âYou really have nothing to say about all of this?â
Sukuna has a million things to say, but his thoughts are so disorganized he doesnât know how to make sense of what he wants to say. What needs to be said. He should have taken more time to come to terms with the gravity of the situation heâd gotten himself into, but he couldnât bear the idea that you would be living with the thought that Sukuna had abandoned you. Yet heâs here now, with you, to disprove that and he doesnât know what he can do to fix things with you. One misstep and he digs a deeper grave than the one heâs sitting in already.
Thatâs the thing about you. Youâre the sun, able to brighten any room you walk into with so much as a smile, and Sukuna isnât even the moon by comparison. Heâs a distant star, flickering on the horizon but always outshone by those brighter. Even knowing this, he so selfishly doesnât want to let you go. He hardly understands it himself, but he finds himself smiling more around you and that alone is worth the effort on his part.
âIâm sorry.â He blurts out a pathetic excuse for an apology, one that he knows wonât put out the fires heâs started, but itâs the best he can manage in his disheveled state.
You shut your eyes, letting out a long, dragging sigh. When you open them, youâre staring down at your reflection in your soup bowl, distorted by floating noodles. Itâs a genuine apology, a rarity when it comes to him, but heâs lost your trust and good will. Of course thereâs a part of you that wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but heâs not giving you any reason to believe his words, let alone a reason to leave you sputtering over words at the front of your class last week.
Kentoâs right. You donât deserve to be constantly guessing, even if it tugs at your already fragile heart. Why did it have to be him that your heart decided to fixate on?
âI donât know how I expected this to go, but I guess I should have known this would happen,â you mumble, getting to your feet and grabbing your coat. You need to leave now before you second-guess yourself.
âWait-! FuckâŚâ Sukunaâs on his feet in an instant, unable to look you in the eye as he reaches for your wrist, staring at the point where your skin connects like itâs burning him.
âShit, justâŚâ He hesitates, his jaw tightening. âGimme a moment.â He doesnât dare let you go out of fear youâll leave, his other hand dipping into his pocket as he fiddles with his broken lighter again.
It takes him a moment to gather himself but finally he finds his footing.
âLook, I owe you. I know I fuckinâ owe you, okay? It was a piece of shit move.â He finally meets your gaze, his resolve hardening. âI shoulda been there, I- I got caught up with something. I didnât mean to miss it and I-â he hesitates, â- Iâm begginâ you to trust me.â
âWhy should I trust you? Youâve never given me any reason to. This is just a shitty excuse to use me as a free babysitter again,â you shrug, trying to use reason so as not to fall for the excuses heâs sputtering that your heart so desperately wants to cling to.
His face contorts in disbelief. âWhy the fuck would I care about that?â
âIf thatâs not what this is about, then what is it about? Because if you cared about me at all, you would have been there.â
âFuck- No- Thatâs not-â He huffs, his anger threatening to boil over. Running his spare hand through his hair, he grumbles another curse under his breath. âProm Queen-â
âDonât call me that.â He knows thatâs the cause of your humiliation in the first place, to bring it up right now is downright cruel.
â- Somethinâ happened- with the kids. I didnât forget. I wanted to be there, I swear on my life that something came up.â
You pause, contemplating his words as he finally gives you some semblance of a reason for his absence, and itâs the exact reason youâd expressed to Kento that had you still worried over the manâs dumb ass. An emergency, a reason to be worried about him, even if he didnât deserve that kindness from you.
âWhat happened?â You ask cautiously, sitting back down. Sukuna breathes out a sigh of relief and releases your wrist when you sit back down with him.
âItâs nothinâ I canât handle, but I need you to believe me. I donât care that you were babysitting the brats. And that wasnât free anyway.â
It was, but youâll let that slide.
Your brow furrows. âWhat is this about then? Since when do you care about anyone other than your brothers or yourself?â
âChrist, Iâm not heartless,â he mutters, shutting his mouth when you shoot him a glare. Yeah, he deserves that. âI care. I do care.â He runs his tongue over his lower lip.
âYou didnât seem to care when you didnât talk to me for a week and a half straight.â
âI thought we already established that I was a dick for that,â he grumbles, frowning.
âThat was when this was a one-time thing. Twice, Sukuna? Really? How am I supposed to trust you when you pulled the same stunt again so soon?â You grimace, quietly observing the way his finger is tapping the table in sync with his leg shaking. At the very least, he doesnât seem to be lying.
âI donât expect you to, just give me a chance. Gimme a chance to prove I mean it.â
Kento would kill you for even entertaining the thought, yet⌠you canât help it.
âCan you at least tell me what happened?â
Sukuna sighs, leaning back and crossing his arms. If ever there was a time to tell you what happened, it should be now. But Sukuna canât bear the thought of bogging down your life with more issues than what heâs already thrust upon you. âI donât want you involved in it.â
âYouâre not doing yourself any favors by not telling me.â
âI know,â he frowns, âbut I donât want you involved. Itâs messy and complicated and I know you and I know you like to stick your nose in my fuckinâ business,â he scowls at the thought.
âYou could at least be nice to me since youâre trying to apologize.â You grimace, exasperated with the attitude heâs throwing your way. Youâre tired of his bullshit and who can blame you?
âRight. Sorry. Iâm an asshole.â He sees the gears turning in your mind. âIâm a dick,â he tries to appeal to you. Had he blinked, he could have missed the way your lips twitched at the corners into the smallest hint of a smile. âJust give me one chance.â
You stare down at your soup, which is surely cold by now, scrutinizing him as you think things through. Your silence is nothing short of miserable for Sukuna, but heâll give you all the time in the world if he can have your kindness for one more second.
Itâs that same kindness that you just know Shoko and Kento are going to absolutely kill you for as you let out a prolonged sigh after weighing your options. âOne chance, Sukuna. One.â Maybe youâre naive for it, but you want to believe that whatever reason he had is a good one.
To your surprise, thereâs no irritated grumble or begrudging sigh from him. No notes of disapproval. He simply nods.
âAnd you have to help me study.â
âDeal.â
âOh! And you have to come eat lunch with me on campus again.â
His lip curls up in distaste. âYour friends donât like me.â
âTheyâll come around,â you shrug. âOh! And-â
âAlright, alright. Donât push your luck, woman,â Sukuna grumbles, leaning on his fist. You giggle at him and although he knows things arenât back to normal, itâs a start. Heâs not stupid enough to think heâs fixed everything right away, but even if it doesnât quite reach your eyes, heâs thrilled to at least see that youâre smiling.
That smile thatâs like the sun.
The rest of lunch is quieter than usual, the regular cadence of your conversations never fully returning.
âHow are Choso and Yuji? Is everything alright now?â
The burly manâs eyes seem to dull at the question as they stay fixed on the soup heâs eating. âTheyâll be fine.â
His reaction is anything but reassuring. He doesnât seem nearly as sure of himself as usual, choosing instead to push the question aside. âAre you okay?â
âIâm fine.â
Fuck, is he ever difficult sometimes.
âYou know, if weâre gonna try to be friends, Iâd appreciate it if you gave me something to work with here,â you offer a wry smile, your best attempt at lightening the air. He shoots you a glance, spooning more soup into his mouth as he leans on his palm against the table.
âItâs been a shitty weekend,â he answers. Well, that doesnât really give you anything to work with, but at least heâs being honest with you. You fall silent again, the steady clinking of spoons against porcelain and the buzzing of a lunch rush behind you seeming to fall to the wayside in favor of a quiet understanding that things arenât quite back to normal.
âAm I allowed to ask how the presentation went or would I be digging my own grave?â Sukuna asks over a spoonful of soup after an extended silence.
âI humiliated myself, what do you want me to say?â
âIâm sure it wasnât that bad,â he tries to reassure you, though it comes across empty.
Youâre reminded of the laughter and judgmental glares, setting your spoon down as the reigns of anxiety stir in your stomach at the thought.
âIâm sorry, Pr-â he hesitates, his jaw tightening as the new meaning of his go-to nickname sinks in. â- Princess. I hope you at least took credit for my bullshit.â
âI did.â
Sukuna offers a proud smile. âGood girl.â
You blink down at your soup as your stomach does a backflip and your cheeks heat up, and all you can do is pray that he hasnât noticed the effect that his words had on you.
Itâs not long before youâve both finished your meals over relative silence. âUm- thanks for lunch.â
âYeah. No problem,â Sukuna gruffs.
âI should go.â
âLet me walk you back,â he insists, as though the uneasy silence wasnât enough for him. With a lopsided smile, you grab both of your trays and dispose of the trash before you find yourself back out in the cold again.
Sukuna mindlessly fiddles with the lighter in his pocket again, a reminder that he needs to figure out how to put it back together, much like his friendship with you, if he can even call it that.
In an effort to mend things, you turn towards him as you wait to cross the street, smiling shyly. âYou know, I do appreciate the effort, Sukuna. I honestly didnât think youâd really bother trying.â
He scowls. âSometimes youâre too honest.â He sighs, but he canât be too upset when youâre giggling again, even if itâs at his expense. âBut, thatâs fai- shit!â He cuts himself off, whipping his hand from his pocket in a flash as he pats his jacket down.
Your lips are pursed as you watch him, puzzled by what heâs doing. That is, until a puff of smoke leaves his pocket. You blink at him.
âDid you justâŚâ
âShut up.â
âLight yourself on fire?â
âI said shut up,â he hisses, his cheeks reddening. Heâll blame the cold if you ask, but heâs embarrassed beyond belief, his cool exterior crumbling as he somehow managed to spark a flame in his own damn pocket.
You bite down hard on your lip in an effort to stop yourself from laughing.
âDonât. Donât fucking laugh.â He snarls, flashing you a glare.
But being told not to do something only makes it that much harder.
âYouâre-â A laugh bubbles between your words and you do your best to swallow it. âYouâre okay right?â You strain through your barely-contained chortles.
With a peek into his pocket, he pulls out the lighter, lid, and hinge pin, tossing them into the opposite pocket as he pats down his coat once more. âYeah, seems fine now.â
Well if heâs fine- you absolutely double over in laughter, unable to bear holding it in any longer.
âOh, laugh it up, short stuff,â he grumbles, dusting whatever ashes had clung to his skin off onto his jeans. He grits his teeth as he watches you double over at his expense, his cheeks no less red than they were a minute ago as the crimson glow spreads to his ears.
At least this time he can blame the cold, or the fire.
Not that youâd believe him.
As your giggles finally subside, Sukunaâs able to relax more than he has since Friday at the sight of your eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine happiness. Maybe embarrassing himself in front of you isnât so bad, if it brings back a semblance of the connection heâd been chasing since he found you in the lunch hall.
Wiping tears from the corners of your eyes, you tilt your head. Cute. âHow did that even happen? Donât lighters have like a- a-â you wrack your brain, turning your attention to the overcast sky. âLike a safety or something?â
Sukuna digs a hand into his pocket that isnât singed, holding the base of his lighter out to you. âIt might have, but itâs broken.â
Curiously, you run your hand over the broken hinge, flipping the lighter over. The name âItadoriâ is carved in cursive across the back.
âItadori?â
Sukuna hums. âMy dad.â
Your face softens. âI think it can be fixed.â You hold it back out to him and he tucks it back in place.
âMaybe.â
Now that Sukunaâs not literally on fire, youâre able to cross the street and head back to the library where youâre sure youâll find Kento and Shoko.
âAre you gonna join us?â
âAnother time. I gotta take care of some shit.â
âThanks for lunch. See you around, Sukuna.â
Before you can turn away, his fingers brush your wrist, as if heâs hesitant to stop you.
âThank you,â he breathes quietly.
You smile.
â
âYou have got to be fucking kidding me.â
âSho, please, you werenât there!â You try to insist.
âGirl. Iâm begging you, youâre better than him.â
To nobodyâs shock or awe, Shoko and Kento are equally as unimpressed that youâve given Sukuna another chance. It comes from a place of concern, of course, but they insist youâre letting him walk all over you.
âThere was an emergency with-â you cut yourself off with a glance at Nanami. You suppose you canât go airing out Sukunaâs personal business to him given that he doesnât know about the kids. âThere was a family emergency,â you insist, âit was an accident.â
âYou believe that bullshit?â Shokoâs whipping an unlit cigarette through the air like itâs a sword and itâs you sheâs aiming to strike.
âI donât think itâs bullshit,â you mumble.
With a sullen sigh, Kento finally speaks up in an unimpressed tone. âHad we not just discussed that you deserve better?â
You wince, his words searing. âHe made a mistake. Accidents happen, Ken.â
âHell of an accident,â Shoko shakes her head. âYouâre actually hopeless.â
Pouting, you look to Kento for backup, but he doesnât seem to be in agreement either.
âGive him a break,â you whine, âhe literally lit himself on fire today.â
Thereâs a collective hum of confusion from both of your friends.
âHe was messing with a lighter in his pocket and he accidentally lit his pocket on fire,â you grin.
Shoko scoffs. âThatâs almost impressive, between the safety and the lack of oxygen in his pocket.â
âWell, the safety was broken,â you reason.
âHah. Dumbass,â she snorts, exchanging a glance with Nanami. âJust⌠be careful with him, okay? Heâs got a short fuse and a whole boatload of baggage that you and your scholarship donât need to be involved in.â
âDonât let him step on you,â Kento pleads in a tone unfamiliar to you.
Your brow furrows as you observe him, but his expression is aloof as ever. âI know, I know. Iâll be careful, I promise.â
â
Itâs cold as you slip into the lobby of Sukunaâs building the following evening. Youâd re-opened your email tab the previous night to find a message from him.
[email protected] - Monday, 8:58 PM busy tomorrow? kids wanna see ya
[email protected] - Monday, 9:39 PM Just the kids want to see me? ;)
[email protected] - Monday, 9:47 PM you coming or not
You could envision his scowl from behind the screen as you teased him, a stupid smile on your face at the thought of it. Things may not be back to normal, but your heart certainly isnât aware of that as it palpitates at every thought of him.
Now, as you make your way up to his apartment with your GameCube, you don't really know what to expect.
The moment you crack the door to his apartment, youâre bombarded by Yuji in a tight hug as heâs practically leaping into your arms in utter excitement. Caught off-guard, you barely manage to catch him as he excitedly chants your name.
âWe missed you!â He grins as you let him up onto your shoulders, ruffling Chosoâs hair while he calmly smiles in greeting.
âThatâs enough,Yu,â Sukuna mutters from the stove. Heâs dressed in a pair of jeans, that same painfully tight black tank top from last week and a red plaid shirt that hangs loosely from his shoulders. A pair of wireless black headphones sits atop his head, but he pulls them down around his neck as you enter the apartment.
Yuji pouts as he begins to clamber down from your shoulders, landing with a thump! back on the floor before hopping over to the TV again.
Bringing you around the kids is likely a part of Sukunaâs scheme to bring things back to normal, now that youâre seeing him again. Kids are smart, too smart at times and they would know if something is wrong.
The apartment is warm in contrast to the cold winter evening, the smell of fried chicken wafting through the air. You bound up to Sukuna, peeking around his side. âI didnât know you could cook.â
He clicks his tongue. âDâyou think I feed them takeout for every meal?â He arches a brow as he looks over his shoulder at you.
âMaybe,â you simper, looking over the ingredients. Thereâs a rice cooker with a steadily descending clock and heâs frying up some chicken. âKatsu?â
âMm.â
âIt smells great!â You grin, turning back to give Sukuna space to cook as you head back towards Choso and Yuji. âSo, I hear you two missed me?â You chide, your heart filled with warmth when Yuji eagerly nods and launches into a story from school that heâd been wanting to tell you since last week. You listen attentively and his eyes shine when you laugh along with him.
âGive her some space, brat. Come grab plates,â Sukuna instructs calmly, once Yujiâs story is over. Heâs more at ease than he has been in a while, and even with the weight of everything going on in his life piled on his shoulders, he feels the familiar pull of your gravity keeping him grounded.
Like some sort of drug, you just seem to relieve his tension merely with your presence. You really are like the sun, warming his skin and lulling his worries to a dull buzz.
As Yuji excitedly runs over to Sukuna in the kitchen, Choso gingerly approaches you. âThanks for coming.â His tone suggests he knows a portion of what happened between you and Sukuna and heâs grateful youâd give his idiot older brother another chance. Smart kid, just like you thought.
You return his smile. âHowâve you been, Cho?â
âIâm good. Um-â his gaze flickers briefly to the back of the apartment where Sukuna has his arms crossed over his chest as he watches Yuji set the table, handing the little boy three four plates. Chosoâs voice lowers as he continues. âI think somethingâs wrong. Um- with Kuna.â
You tilt your head, following the little boyâs gaze. Sukuna doesnât seem much different from any other time youâve seen him. His skin is still somewhat gaunt, but he looks better than yesterday, no longer under duress. âWhat do you mean?â You prod softly.
âI donât know,â he shrugs, perplexing you. âSomeone came to the house on Friday,â he tells you. Your lips purse at the realization that Friday was your presentation. Maybe his reason for missing your presentation is bigger than heâs letting on. âHe seemed mad at them and then he was gone most of the night.â
âHe seems fine now,â you comment, but you donât know Sukuna well enough to know who could have angered him at the door. âDonât worry about it, sweetheart. Iâm sure your brotherâs fine. Iâll keep an eye on him.â
Choso nods, sunken eyes following Yujiâs movements as he places napkins around the table. Itâs not long before youâre all seated with a plate of chicken katsu curry.Â
âThanks, Kuna!â Yuji cheers gleefully, digging in immediately. His mild expression cracks as he picks up his utensils, eyes flickering around the table to his two little brothers before landing on you. He may only hum in response to Yuji, but you see the subtle gleam in his eye, along with something else that you canât quite identify. Sadness?
Chosoâs words echo in your mind, but you canât find any other sign of anything being wrong. You settle on keeping an eye on him, smiling gratefully at him for making you dinner. The meal is filled with Yujiâs imaginative rambles as he shares stories from school and stories that may only be about forty percent true. Kids, right? Either way, you laugh along and grin at him.
âYou know,â you begin once all of your plates are clean, âif you go check my backpack, I brought something for you guys.â
Like cartoon characters, both kidsâ eyes widen and they bolt off towards the living room, two bundles of thrilled laughter as their full attention turns towards the GameCube tucked into your bag.
As you join Sukuna with two empty plates where heâs cleaning up in the kitchen, he casts a glance at you. âYouâre too good to them.â
Placing your hands on the counter beside him, you shrug. âI just like spoiling them.â
âI see that. They ask about you a lot.â Your heart swells. Youâre not a grinch, but you think your heart grew three sizes just now.
âI think they get it from you,â you tease, poking his bicep. He scowls down at you, rolling his shoulder as though itâll rebuke your teasing.
âThey didnât,â he grumbles, turning towards the sink and flipping on the tap to run water over the plates.
You follow his movement, leaning against the counter beside him. âIs that why youâre being so grumpy about it? Because they donât get it from you?â You grin, giving him a bright smile.
Sukunaâs lips curl into a devious smirk and before you know it, he lifts his hand from the running water and flicks it at your face. His smile widens to a grin when you jump, squealing in shock.
âSukunaaa!â You cry, wiping the water from your cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand.
He chuckles, making a point of letting the water run over his hand again as he shoots you a sly smirk.
âDonât you dare,â you hiss, brow furrowed. But when has Sukuna ever listened?
He subtly flicks more water at you, chuckling when you swat his bicep and go to join his little brothers on the couch with a pout thatâs just too cute. Both kids move to the floor as the familiar sounds of Kirby Air Ride fill the room and Sukuna joins you on the couch, sitting just close enough that his knee brushes your leg.
âYouâre studying English Lit, yeah?â
You nod, shuffling slightly closer to Sukuna to hear him over the TV. âYeah, this is my last year. Iâm hoping I can line something up in the next couple of months.â
âWhat do you wanna do?â He queries, leaning towards you just enough to give you the impression heâs seeking your warmth.
âA book editor!â You grin, eyes shining.
He lifts a brow. âYou wanna read half-baked books for a livinâ?â
You canât help but laugh. âSure, something like that.â
Amused, Sukuna smiles, relaxing into the couch.
âHave you thought more about what you want to do?â You ask cautiously, tilting your head as you prod at Sukunaâs reinforced walls.
A muscle in his jaw ticks. âNo,â he grumbles, pulling his gaze down to his lap. Before you can push him any further, he glances at his watch and gets to his feet. âBe right back.â
You purse your lips as he hurries out of the room as though he has something to do. Sighing, you grab your bag thatâs sitting on the floor by Choso, dragging it to your feet in search of the gum that you know is buried somewhere in its depths. You offer some to both of the boys before tossing your bag aside when something grabs your attention.
A torn piece of paper is on the ground at your feet, it must have slid out from under the couch when you had pulled your bag to your feet. Thatâs not all that unusual given all three of them are students, but the logo on the paper catches your eye.
Decorated in greens, you recognize the bold logo of a law office on the other side of town. A crease forms in your brow as you stare at the logo, but the paper has been torn in a way that all you can really see is the logo and that it addresses Ryomen Sukuna.
Could that have been Sukunaâs dad? No, that wouldnât make sense if his lighter belonged to his father and âItadoriâ is engraved into its side. It had to be Sukuna himself. You suppose youâve never actually heard anyone refer to him by another name, but the name is fitting somehow, even if he chooses not to use it.
The sound of footsteps alerts you to Sukunaâs return and you tuck the paper back where it belongs, or at least where you found it. The nosey and concerned part of you wants to prod, especially given the apprehension Choso expressed to you earlier, but you know better than to push Sukunaâs limits.
Sukuna rounds the corner with tense shoulders, tilting his neck to either side as he cracks it.
âEverything alright?â
âYeah, just didnât wanna hear you nagging about what I wanna do.â Thereâs a little more fire behind his words than usual and you sense that this is not the time to be asking why in the hell thereâs legal papers torn up under his couch like a rabid mutt got a hold of them.
âA little dramatic, donât you-â
âBe nice, Kuna!â Yuji yells suddenly, pausing his game.Â
Sukunaâs jaw slacks in disbelief at his little brother. âPay attention to your game, brat,â he hisses.
âNo! Youâre gonna scare her off again! Meanie!â
âThatâs it-â With a gleam in his eye, Sukuna lunges forward and tosses Yuji over his shoulder. Heâs met with thunderous giggles as the little boy kicks and wriggles in an attempt to escape from his older brother. âYou know what happens to kids who get in their older brotherâs way?â
âNOOoooO!â Yuji cries out between giggles as he pushes his absolute hardest against the mass of muscles that is Sukuna. Choso is quietly laughing as he watches Sukuna toss his brother onto the couch, albeit gently. âNo no no nononono!â Yuji puts his hands up in an attempt to block Sukuna, who pretends to sit on his brother, though you can see heâs not putting his full weight on poor little Yuji.
Putting only an ounce of his weight on his little brother, he slyly grins at you as you laugh along with the siblings, your eyes shining. He may be just about the most hardened and irritated (or maybe irritat-ing) man youâve ever met, but itâs clear just how much he loves his brothers, even if he could use some time away from them.
âKunaaaaaa!!â Yuji cries, weakly pushing against him.
âDâya hear that? Almost sounds like my little brother, except it canât be because he was a little shit,â Sukuna snorts, only to be met with giggles. You bring a hand up to your mouth as you laugh along with the poor little boy.
âLet me gooooooo!!â
âYou done beinâ a brat?â
âYesss I promise, yesss!!â
Sukuna stands up as Yuji dramatically rolls off the couch, feigning being dead. Sukuna plops back down beside you and runs a hand through his locks, mirth swirling in those striking crimson irises of his.
âYouâre still a meanie,â Yuji sticks his tongue out at Sukuna, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he scoots closer to the TV, but Sukuna only rolls his eyes this time. âDonât scare her.â
âIf your brother keeps tutoring me, Iâll be back before you know it,â you reassure the young boy who grins brightly before his attention turns back to the TV. âSpeaking of which, I should get going. My final project for Womenâs Lit is due tomorrow at midnight.â
You begin gathering your things, pausing as you realize you would have to unplug the GameCube to pack up all of your things, so you settle on pretending to forget it, hoping that Sukuna isnât paying attention, his eyes locked on the TV.
Checking to make sure you have your phone, wallet, and keys, you cast one last glance at the corner of the piece of paper beneath the couch thatâs just barely sticking out, debating doing some snooping later.
To your delight as the boys hug you goodbye and Sukuna follows you to the door, he either forgets about the gaming console or lets it slide this time, leaning against the door frame.
âYou make a mean chicken katsu,â you beam, âthanks again for dinner.â
âMm. Thanks for the second chance.â
Your smile softens.
âI got work at one on Thursday. You up to watch the kids? If you drop by earlier, we can study beforehand.â He leans his head down to your level, the warmth of his breath fanning your face as he canât resist flustering you at least once each time you visit. âAnd yâknow, you never did get to tell me the third thing I owe ya,â he hums, his voice low and sultry.
Your breath hitches at the implication behind his tone and before you know it, youâre stumbling back away from his close proximity, fumbling for the button for the elevator as the rickety old door slides open with a jarring screech.
âSee you on- uh- Thursday.â
âSee you then,â he chuckles.
This man will be the absolute death of you.
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⌠a/n ; hiii loves! i hope you all enjoyed <33 very angst heavy chapter, i'm sorry :((( i absolutely adored writing sukuna's horrible day, the poor guy. i also had to consult my friend who's a lawyer on how one gets served documents, what a confusing process and i'm sure she was even more confused why i was asking her LMAO.
anywayyy i just wanted to say that the comments and tags and asks you guys have been sending in seriously make my day and i'm so here for it. thank you all so much for all the love and support <33 as always, it's super appreciated <33
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When the Truth Comes Out
Request: Reader asks, "So, when are you going to ask me to marry you?" I hope I did your prompt justice!
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Summary: Itâs been three and a half years since Jason asked you out, and he knows youâre the one. He knows every part of you, the good and bad, and loves it all. The problem is that you donât know everything about him⌠and his secrets may ruin everything.
Word count: 3.5k
Jasonâs never been one to window shop, but lately heâs been noticing the glint of jewelry.
You give him a weird look when he stumbles in the middle of the department store. Itâs because a ring display caught him off guard like a punch to the gut, but he canât explain that, so Jason waves off your concerned questioning.
You give him a weird look before turning back to the toy aisle. The two of you spent the morning bickering over what present to give Damian for Christmasukkah. You want to give him a keyboard to learn piano, but Jasonâs sure that Damian would be happier receiving an art kit. He knows violin, which is a strings instrument, not whatever the piano is. Besides, the kidâs a brat. Heâd want a full-size grand piano that originally belonged to Mozart or some shit and costs a hundred thousand dollars, which isnât exactly pocket cash for the two of you.
And, sure, Jasonâs got one of Bruceâs credit cards in his walletâBruce offered to give him one in Jasonâs name, but it was the principle of using the stolen card, so Jason turned him downâbut heâd be damned before he spoiled the kid any more than he already is.
He keeps his eyes firmly on you after that. Itâs where theyâre supposed to be, anyway.
You end up getting the keyboard after surreptitiously checking your bank account against your projected budget several times. Itâs funny. After three years, you still think you can hide stuff like that from Jason. Probably because he pretends not to notice. He makes a mental note to stop by your landlordâs and see if the Red Hood can make any suggestions about lowering rent for your building.
As the two of you walk out of the store, a cold gust of wind tries to steal your breath away. You step closer to Jason, cold fingers twining with his, and he easily drapes an arm over your shoulders to keep you close. âWas that the last one?â
âI think so,â you reply, checking your list again. âThe keyboard for Damian, massage gun for Dick, matching pajamas for Cass and Steph, Pokemon expansion pack for Duke, and the fuzzy socks for Tim.â
The socks are decorated with the words âI BREACHED CONTAINMENTâ in black stitching. Jason saw them in a tourist trap he saved from a D-list rogue and remembered how Tim looked like the bog monster after falling into the sewers the day before. Theyâve been sitting in his closet since the end of August.
âI have too many siblings,â Jason sighs.
âHave you figured out what youâre giving Bruce?â
Jason bites his lip.
You say, âAh. Well, you still have a couple days.â
Yeah. Jason has two. Heâd been supposed to look out for anything to catch his eye in the store, but all he noticed was the stupid ring display.
He opens the car door for you, then shoves the keyboard in its box into the backseat and starts the engine. Jason drives home one-handed. The other holds yours loosely over the console. Youâre checking your bank account again on your phone, frowning slightly, thumb brushing up and down Jasonâs palm. He keeps an eye on you as he drives, playing idly by squeezing your fingers one by one until you have to try to hide a smile by looking out the window.Â
He doesnât let go of your third finger. Something nags at the back of his mind, likeâ
Jason realizes that heâs trying to find a ring, and his heart stops. The car jumps forward when he slams on the gas, and he drops your hand to put both of his on the wheel as he swerves around a minivan. You let out a startled yelp, hands flying out for something to grab onto. The stupid keyboard slides off the back seat and into the footwell.
Two cars lay on their horns when he nearly sideswipes them. Jason responds with an emphatic middle finger and cuts across three lanes to get away. The poor car doesnât respond as well to his driving as his motorcycle does, and the engine whines as he leaves the other cars in the dust until he eases off.
As soon as the car reaches a relatively normal speed, you say, âJay! What just happened?â
âSorry,â is all he can say, keeping both arms stiff on the wheel. âSorry, honey.â
âYou okay?â
ââM good. You good?â
âIâm okay, I was justâŚâ You keep looking at him, and Jasonâs skin prickles. Do you know? Can you tell?
Jason creaks like old wood, but he pulls back his right arm and puts his hand on the console, palm up. After a moment, you put your left overtop it. He can feel your pulse racing through the thin skin of your wrist.
He squeezes.
You squeeze back.
The day before Christmas, Jason still doesnât know what to give Bruce. Heâd hoped that baking would fix the block, but as he abuses the poor sopapilla dough, heâs no further to any answers.
Youâre at the counter, offering moral support but not physical help. Jasonâs a bit of a control freak in the kitchen when heâs anxious.
Heâs not anxious. Heâs not! It doesnât matter if he gives Bruce something for Chrismukkah. Bruce doesnât even celebrate Christmas. âNot trying to kill himâ is probably a good enough present.
Or the sopapillas. Sure, everyoneâs bringing a dish, but no one said it couldnât also be Jasonâs present. But if he goes that route, then the pastries have to be perfect, and the last batch didnât fluff up the way they did when Catherine made them.
âJay,â you say after another five minutes of Jason punching dough that is already thoroughly kneaded.
âYes, love?â
âI think the oil might be ready.â
Judging by the hiss and pops behind him, it is, and has been for several minutes.
Jason tries his best to follow his motherâs actions through his memory, but this batch doesnât turn out right, either.
âHere,â he says wearily, placing the overflowing plate in front of you. âLet âem cool off.â
You wait as long as you can, fingers drumming on the counter as you watch tiny curls of steam drift up from the pile of pastries. Finally, you give in. âOh my gosh,â you say around a mouthful that was a little too hot, judging by your wince. âJay, these are amazing.â
âItâs not right, though,â he argues.
âJay, I didnât even think it was possible, but these are better than your last batch.â
He shakes his head stubbornly.
âWell, weâll keep working on it,â you decide. âBut really, if you bring these tomorrow, no one will complain. If they doâŚâ You hold up a fist and shake it, mustering up (what you think is) a ferocious scowl.
Jasonâs lips twitch. âWhat if Damian complains? Are you prepared to hit a child?â
âI canât believe you would even ask me that,â you say. âI live in Gotham. Iâve been waiting for that moment my entire life.â
Despite himself, Jason laughs. He picks up one of the pastries from the dish and bites into it. They could have used more honey. Maybe that was the problem. But youâre right. These are good, and if theyâre not, so what? Itâs not like Bruce expects much from him anyway.
Jasonâs chest squeezes.
Bruce should just be grateful that Jason is there at all.
Fuck.
Itâs getting too hard to deny. Despite all his best efforts, Jason has to admit⌠maybe he does love his family.
Itâs the first holiday season where he hasnât been incandescent with rage toward one of them or another, and heâd underestimated just how nervous he would be. Despite everything that happened between them, he wants tomorrow to go well. The first night of Hanukkah is the same day as Christmas this year, which hasnât happened for about twenty years. Itâll be Damianâs third Chrismukkah and the first where everyone is in attendanceâJason wasnât on speaking terms with the family his first year, and Bruce was in the time stream and Tim was across the world last year.
âHey, Jay.â
âHmm.â
You swallow without making eye contact, and if he was paying even a little bit more attention, he would have known to prepare himself for what you said next.
âWhen are you gonna ask me to marry you?â
Jason is a selfish asshole. Itâs a miracle that you havenât figured that out yet after three years of dating him. He half-expects to come back to the apartment to find his stuff in bags. Thatâs the main reason heâs still out in the cold.
Heâs in the middle of another drag when a teasing voice says from behind, âOoh, must have been a rough day.â
Jasonâs hand twitches for his gun, but he recognizes the voice. So he only rolls his eyes and says around the cigarette, âWhat do you want?â
âYour partner asked me to check up on you. Apparently you looked pretty freaked when you took off.â
Fuck. Jason groans. âHow worried did they seem?â
âUmmmâŚ.â
âFuck.â
âYeah, you kind of messed up.â Spoiler sits next to him, dangles her legs over the side of the roof, and lets them swing idly. âOr they messed up. I thought you quit smoking?â
He exhales a thick plume of smoke. âI did,â Jason says. Dying from smoke inhalation was bad once, but a habit is a habit.
âIf it makes you feel any better, they seemed more concerned about you. Not, like, mad or anything.â
Well, thatâs something.
âSo what happened?â
Jason grunts. Maybe if he stares into the horizon long enough, Spoiler will give up. That was the technique Batman always used when Robin asked the tough questions like, âWhy am I going home early so you can interrogate Catwoman on your own?â
It only worked sometimes.
Unfortunately, Spoiler seems immune.
Jason grunts and drops the butt of his cigarette. He itches for another, but youâll already wrinkle up your nose at the smell of one. And, shit, what are you even going to think about him high-tailing it out after that question, leaving for hours, and coming back stinking of smoke?
âIâm a fucking idiot. And an asshole.â
Spoiler huffs. âEveryone already knows that, dumbass. They certainly do.â
âThanks,â Jason says drily.
âAnytime!â she chirps.
Her heels beat against the side of the building.
Sheâs not leaving anytime soon, so Jason sighs and gives in. âThey asked when I was planning on proposing.â
Spoiler gasps and jumps to her feet. âOh my God!â
âYeah.â
âOh my God!â
âYep.â
âSo youâre engaged?â
âWhat? No.â
âWhat?â
âThey asked when I would propose. That wasnât a proposal⌠I donât think so. I mean, there wasnât a ring,â Jason says helplessly.
Spoiler socks him in the shoulder.
âOw!â Damn, but the girl can pack a punch. He rubs at the sore spot, scowling.
âYou stupid idiot!â
âI know.â
âAnd you just ran away?â
Jason cringes and admits to his lap, âYes.â
Spoiler hits him in the exact same spot on his shoulder.
âGoddamn it, stop that!â
âIâm going to kill you, Jason Peter Todd.â
âYou could certainly try, Stephanie⌠Brown,â he shoots back.
âYou donât even know my middle name?â
âI donât care about you.â
She lifts her fist again, but Jason twists out of the way before she can hit him a third time in the same shoulder. Itâll be bruised tomorrow.
âYou donât get it,â he says, balancing on the edge of the roof and feeling exceptionally unstable, even though heâs walked across ledges like this since he was twelve.
âWhat donât I get? That you have an awesome partner waiting for you at home? One that wants to get married? One thatââ
âOne that has no idea who I am,â Jason hisses. He brandishes his helmet at the girl. âWeâve been together for three years. They have no idea that Iâm the Red Hood. It made sense, at first; I canât go around telling everyone I kiss what my identity isââ
âRight,â she scoffs sarcastically, âlike youâre some kind of serial kisser, Todd. Half the city would know your identity if you did that.â
âShut up,â Jason half-says, half-groans, and by some miracle, she does. âAt first, obviously I couldnât tell them. Then I wanted to keep waiting. I wanted to know that they were, you know, the one and everything.â
Spoiler fake-gags. Jason ignores her.
âAnd after that it was just too late. I waited too long. I canât marry them unless they know about the mask, but who would agree to marry someone thatâs been lying to them for three years? The entire time theyâve known me?â
âHuh,â says Spoiler.
âHuhâ indeed.
âSo I ran,â Jason says. âI donât even know if I said anything. The next thing I knew, I was in the street with a pack of cigs and a lighter in my pocket. I came up here to smoke a couple before going back and ending things.â
âYouâwait, âending things?ââ Spoilerâs head whips around, the white lenses of her domino widening. âWhat are you talking about?â
âI canât lie to them,â says Jason. âWhen I go back, Iâll tell them the truth. And theyâll break up with me for lying for years. I was just trying to put it off.â
The worst thing was, he wasnât even trying to lie for most of it. You took his excuses easily, believed him about a boxing gym membership to explain away the bruises, and never uttered a complaint about the odd hours he worked. Every time he was late to a date or canceled, you understood. Every time he forgot something important, odds were that youâd forgotten, too, without him to remind you.
All things considered, Jason might have found the single least curious person in all of Gotham, if you hadnât figured it out after three years. But heâd gotten so comfortable that heâd forgotten that it was a secret, really. It had all rushed back in when he heard your words like a smack to the face, and heâd panicked.
âYou donât know that,â Spoiler says softly.
âCould you forgive someone for something like this?â
She stays silent, and thatâs answer enough.
Jason huffs. âYeah, thatâs what I thought.â He reaches into his pocket, pulls out the pack of cigarettes and lighter, and considers them. Then he sighs and drops both on the ground. âMight as well get this over with.â
The cold Gotham air whips away the reek of smoke by the time heâs back at your apartment. Jason looks at the door like a condemned man looks at the gallows. He could sneak in through the window like he usually does, but he selfishly wants you to open the door for him. Show that heâs welcome now, even though he wonât be for long.
Seconds drag on like torturous minutes until he hears the familiar click of the lock. The door inches open with a screech.
Jasonâs mouth goes dry at the sight of your wide eyes. âHey, darling.â
Wordlessly, you open the door further and step aside to let him in.
Funny how a place heâs practically lived in can feel so unfamiliar. Jason shifts between feet as you re-lock your door.
The moment you turn around, he blurts out, âIâm sorry.â
You say the same thing.
âWhat?â Jason asks.
âYou donât need to apologize,â you say.
âNo, I was an ass,â he insists. âI shouldnât have left.â
âI didnât mean to push you. I just saw you looking at rings, and weâve talked about it, but still, marriage is a big step, so I wanted to be prepared,â you ramble. âI mean, we said that we could get married, but we never discussed when, or when the proposal would beââ
âHoney!â
You fall silent.
âJust wait,â Jason begs. He canât stand any more of your endless understanding. Youâve only ever understood him, no matter what, and heâs going to miss it so much. Heâs going to miss you so much. âWait one second.â He retreats to the bedroom and returns a moment later with something clutched behind his back. Your eyes dart to the awkward way heâs contorted his arm.
Your face goes blank when he pulls out the spare helmet he keeps below your bed. Heâd only used a domino when out with Spoiler, but that wouldnât do for the grand reveal.
âIâm the Red Hood,â he says in a rush, then braces for your judgment.
You donât react except to say, âJason.â
He doesnât understand. Youâre not scared of the killer in your apartment. Youâre not furious at the man thatâs lied to you for three years. Obviously you donât understand what heâs saying. âHoney, Iâm the Red Hood. The vigilante.â
âJayââ
Youâre still just standing with no reaction. Jason holds the mask up so youâre making eye contact with it.
You push it out of the way and cradle his face with both your hands. âJason Peter Todd, look at me,â you command.
Jason holds your gaze. Itâs the last time heâll ever be so close to you, and he never wants to forget what your presence feels like.
âJay, Iâve known basically the whole time.â
What.
Jason blinks.
âWhat?â
âI already knew.â
âHoney, I donât think you understand what Iâm saying. Iâm theââ
âRed Hood, yes, I know.â You muster up a tremulous smile. âAnd Bruce is Batman. Dick is Nightwing. Steph is Spoiler, Damian is Robin, Tim isââ
âOh my God, you knew? How did you know?â
âJason. My love. My darling. My honey bunchkin.â You give him a mildly scolding look. âIâm not an idiot.â
Jasonâs ears heat. âAnd youâre not⌠mad?â
âThat youâre the Red Hood?â You cock your head. âOf course not. I worry about you, of course. But you have to do it. I know that. Or am I mad that you tried to keep it a secret for three years?â You press your lips together to hide a growing smile. âNo. Iâm not mad about that either. You canât exactly go around telling your secret identity to everyone you kiss. Itâs just something I had to figure out on my own.â
âYou knew,â Jason marvels. âYou knew this whole time.â
âMost of the whole time,â you say. âBut yes.â
âOh my God.â Jasonâs moving before he can stop himself, and he wraps you up in his arms and spins you around. âI thought you would hate me,â he confesses, still clutching you like his life depends on it. âWhen I finally told you.â
A soft hand runs through his hair. âIs that why you ran?â you ask softly.
âYes. Iâm so sorry, honey, I justââ
âI get it,â you interrupt.
âYou were scared.â
A thought occurs to Jason with such clarity he nearly drops you. âWait, so you were going to marry me even after you knew about the mask?â
âOf course,â you say. âI love you, Jay. Mask and all.â
âI donât have a ring.â
âI donât need one. Donât you get it? I only need you.â
âI only need you, too.â
âGood.â
âGood,â Jason agrees, and he probably looks like a fool with his wide grin, but you canât stop smiling either. He dips his head, and you rise up to press your lips to his, even though with both your grins you end up clicking teeth.
âGood,â you repeat.
âGood,â Jason says, just for good measure, and this time he makes sure the kiss is better. Lightning shoots up his spine and he pulls back to ask, âWait, are we engaged now?â
âUm⌠yes?â
âThatâs awesome.â
Your smile is so wide that your eyes nearly close. Jasonâs pretty sure he looks the same as he sweeps you up and spins you around. You fit perfectly into his arms. Heâs never going to let you go.
âMy fianceĂŠ,â he says fondly. âIâm never going to get tired of saying that.â
âIâm marrying you,â you marvel, sweeping your thumb over his mouth. âI have the prettiest husband-to-be in the whole world.â
âI love you,â Jason confesses. âSo much.â
âI love you, too.â
Seconds before your mouths meet for another kiss, Jasonâs phone buzzes. On the off-chance itâs an important alert, he pulls it out, but itâs just Spoiler asking for an update.
Jason stows the device. âI have an idea.â
âYeah?â
âI think I know how to make the sopapillas the right way.â
âOh? And howâs that?â
It turns out that Jasonâs right.
Making them with your help turns out to be what was missing the whole time.
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The Vow Spoken Through Time - Part 1
Daemon x Rhaenyra x Wife!Reader
Series: Series Masterlist
Warnings: MDNI, mild smut (at the end), threesomeÂ
Tags: marriage, poly relationship, Daemon being hopelessly in love with his wives, Queen!Rhaenyra
Words: ~1.9K
Description: Y/N is having a rough morning. She's fired. She's hungover. She's in a stranger's bed. She's waking up in a new world? She's married?!
Rhaenyra and Daemon's day started normal. Waking up next to their darling wife before tending to their duties. The difference? Their wife is speaking in riddles and has no memories of them.
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âGod my head fucking hurts,â you whine, sitting up to rub your eyes. âThat wine really hit out of nowhere.â Your head pounds, it has to be part of a hangover. The last thing you remember before drinking yourself to sleep was getting fired. Your boss hadnât even had the decency to let you know face to face. An HR representative and your manager requested a zoom call at the end of the day and politely told you to âclean your desk.â
After nearly three years of work with the same accounting firm, it was weird to not wake up early and head into the office. The worst part really was that your performance was still stellar, the firm was just hemorrhaging money after several questionable expansions.Â
Despite the pounding headache and sensitivity to light, you force yourself to open your eyes. âWhat the fuck?!â Glancing around the room frantically, you panic as you realize you werenât waking up in the comfort of your room. You had to be the subject of some prank reality tv show because the decor was undoubtedly some renaissance festival shit. The walls were brick with large tapestries decorating the stone. You were laid in the center of a giant four poster bed, black and red canopies flowing.
Slipping from the tangle of sheets and blankets, you pad towards the door. âOkay,â you call out, âyou got me. Very funny.âÂ
Silence.Â
âThis is so weirdâ you murmur, pushing the door open as gently as possible to peak out. A woman rushes by you, dressed in some kind of drab linen and an apron. âExcuse me!â you shout, attempting to get her attention.Â
The short woman slowed down, stopping to curtsy quickly at the sight of you. âMy lady, forgive me. I didnât you see you there!â
âMy lady?â You asked. âWhat are you talking about? This isnât funny.â
âIâm not trying to be funny, my lady,â she replied quietly. âPlease donât tell your wife I was making jokes! I swear I meant no harm-â
âMy wife?!â Everyone has officially gone off the deep end. First this medieval times shit, now apparently you have a wife.
The womanâs eyes go wide, âYour wife, Queen Rhaenyra. My lady, are you unwell?â
âIâm sorry,â you apologize. âI have no idea whatâs going on. I lost my job. I donât know where I am or apparently who I am. I just want-â You choke off into sobs.
âLet me help you back to your room,â she offered, taking your elbow. âIâll let the Queen know youâre unwell.â
You nodded, letting her lead you back into the room. The woman helped you into a steaming bath and left you to soak while she fetched your wife. âCanât believe someone made an honest woman of me,â you laugh.
At some point, the entire situation stopped feeling like a prank. Maybe it was watching the maid fill the tub painstakingly bucket by bucket, or the significant lack of electricity. Either way, your situation was beginning to feel more and more real. You grab the bar of soap and lather up a cloth, scrubbing furiously at your skin.Â
âThatâs weird,â you murmur as you notice that your skin seems far too perfect. You usually had a couple scars littering your arms and legs, leftovers from frequently crashing your bike as a kid and general clumsiness. They all seemed to have vanished into thin air, leaving nothing but perfectly smooth, supple skin behind. âOkay, Iâm officially going crazy.â
You see a small mirror on the ledge next to the tub, and reach out with shaky hands. You sigh in relief as you glance into the mirror and see that you look the same. At least you have something familiar here.
âAdmiring the view? I know I am.â A deep voice purred from behind you.
Tossing the mirror back, you swiftly cover your chest and pray that the water obscurs the rest of you. âWhat the fuck?!â You yell, turning to confront whatever pervert decided to interrupt your bath. A tall man towered over the tub, his white hair practically glowing as the candlelight reflected off of it.
âIâm trying to have an existential crisis in here,â you hiss. âCan you come back later or something?â
He snorted a laugh, stalking forward to grab a brush from the side table and sit behind you. âAnd miss this opportunity? I should think not, my love.â He gently began detangling your hair and brushing it out.Â
âMy love? You do know Iâm a married woman?â You retort.
âYou never let me forget,â he replied, kissing the top of your hair.Â
âI mean I have a wife, asshole!â You twist around to snatch the brush from his hands, but he lifts it out of your reach.
âWhat a coincidence,â he purrs, blatantly staring at your breasts. âI do too. Two, if Iâm not mistaken.â His eyes dart down to your left hand, as if he knows something you donât.
You glance at the ring thatâs been there since you woke up. The black metal has a dragon insignia that looks awfully similar to the embroidery on this manâs shirt. âFuck.âÂ
The manâs brows furrow, âwhatâs wrong?â He sets the brush down, grabbing a sheet and pulling you from the bath. He wraps you up and sits you in his lap. The warmth seeping into your skin feels so familiar and you feel yourself begin to break. Tears stream down your cheeks, and you burrow your face into his neck to hide them.Â
Warm hands rub up and down your back soothingly. âMy love, I cannot fix whatever is wrong if you donât tell me.â He hums. âYou donât even have to tell me. Just give Rhaenyra a name and I will ensure whoever made you cry will never breathe again.â
You laugh at the irony. âI donât know who Rhaenyra is. Iâm not sure I even know who I am.âÂ
Before he can respond, a door slams. âDaemon, thank Gods youâre here. The maid said y/n was acting ill and didnât rememb-âÂ
Your head peaks up over the manâDaemonâs shoulder to see the woman who ran in. Her hair is just as white as Daemonâs and her clothing adorned with the same dragon insignia. This must be Queen Rhaenyra.
âY/n?!â Rhaenyra rushes over, kissing your cheek before she hugs you tightly.Â
âMy queen,â Daemon greets, leaning in for a kiss. You find yourself pressed between the two, and as much as you donât want to admit itâŚ.the warmth and pressure feels comfortingâŚlike home.Â
âI hate to break this up,â you say, wiping the last of your tears away. âBut can someone tell me what is going on. The last thing I remember was being fired, getting wine drunk, and going to bed early.â
âFired?â Rhaenyra looked confused and immediately started inspecting every exposed inch of your skin. âDid you try to feed Caraxes again? Heâs a temperamental old man, just like his rider.â
âWho is Caraxes? Do yaâll have a dog or something?â
âDog?!â Daemon sounded almost offended. âA dog?! Rhaenyra we should fetch a maester. Our little dragon is either begging for a punishment or in need of a healer.â
Rhaenyra attempts to cover her laugh. âCaraxes, Daemonâs dragon? You insist on telling him a goodnight story at least once a week.â
âHeâs a dragon of war for fucks sake,â Daemon mutters. âYouâve been making him soft.â
âDragon?!â Your eyes go wide. âYouâre joking. Youâve gotta be fucking me right now.â
âWe are most definitely no-â
âWe certainly could be-â
Daemon and Rhaenyra spoke at the same time. You would have laughed, but the implications of Daemonâs words were starting to settle in.
âWait,â you being. âSo if Queen Rhaenyra is my wifeâŚ.and Daemon has two wivesâŚand you two seem to be closeâŚthat means-â
âThat you both are all mine,â Daemon purrs.
âDaemon, we must call for the maester. This seems serious, she doesnât even remember us.â
âWhat year is this?â You ask, not sure if you want the answer.
â125 AC.â Rhaenyra responds.
âAnd where are we?â
âThe red keep.â
âWhat, is that like England or something?â
âWe are in Westeros.â Rhaenyra feels your forehead. âDaemon, put y/n to bed while I have the maids summon the maester.â
You yelp in surprise and Daemon stands up, holding you close to his chest. He carries you to a vanity, setting you gently on the bench before rummaging through some drawers. âArms up, love.â He says, pulling a white shift over your head. You stare of into space as Daemon gently braids your hair.Â
âWhereâd you learn to do that?â You ask as he ties a ribbon at the ends of the braid.
âYou and Rhaenyra are quite the demanding duo when you want to be,â he snorts. âThe staff might revolt and establish Rhaenyraâs cunt of a half-brother as king if I bothered them everytime you both needed your hair done.â
âLanguage,â you chide. Daemon rolls his eyes before he sweeps you back up into his arms. He carries you to the bed, depositing you in the center before he climbs in. Daemon sits up, back against the headboard as he pulls you in to lean against his chest.Â
âDo you really not remember us?â He asks.Â
âHow long have we been married?âÂ
âFive years. We were married in the old ways. Your High Valyrian wasnât as good back then though.â Daemon laughs. âBut it was perfect, and I wouldnât trade you both for anything.â
âSo if Rhaenyra is queen, what does that make you?â You ask. He had to be King, right?
âA lucky man.â
You laugh, and lightly hit his chest. âNo, really. I donât remember anything. Help a girl out here.â
âPrince consort.â Daemon answers. You nod, so Rhaenyra must be in charge around here.
âSo howâd I end up married to Queen Rhaenyra and Prince Consort Daemon?â You ask in the poshest British accent you can muster.
âYou threw yourself at my feet saying âPlease Rhaenyra, I cannot live without you! You are the sun that brightens the sky and the stars that guide ships home!ââ Rhaenyra teased. You sit up to see that Rhaenyra isnât alone, she brought back some balding man with her.Â
âI didnât say that-â You protest.
âReally?â Daemon laughs. âMy queen, itâs not proper to toy with someone who is ill.â
âYouâre one to talk,â Rhaenyra says, raising a brow. âYou seemed rather close when I came in earlier.â
You groan. How did you manage to survive these two for five years.Â
!!SMUT BELOW!!
PREVIEW FOR PART TWO
âNo,â Daemon scolds, clasping your hands together in his larger one and wrenching your body into his. âYouâre not in charge here. Youâre going to listen and obey like a good little girl.â You whine in response, nodding furiously in agreement. Suddenly, Rhaenyraâs warm body brushes up against your back. She nibbles lightly at your ear before kissing and licking her way down your neck.
âNo need to be cruel,â Rhaenyra purrs. âOur little dragon is just begging for attention the only way she knows how.â
You whimper, canting your hips into Daemonâs. He slides a thigh between yours, pressing it up against your cunt. Your eyes roll back and you moan at the friction. âPlease,â you breathe out, your teary eyes meeting his.Â
NOTE: Hey all! I'm not dead, sorry for disappearing! Life happened (new job, had to travel home for a funeral). But, I got my shit back together after taking some time for myself and I'm ready to give y'all the stories I've been cooking up. I have some steamy and inspiring requests I'm working on for Feyd Rautha (so if you requested...they're coming). Glad to be back and BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR PART 2!!!! - Lacie <3
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