#remember this blog is my diary you all just get to read it (and laugh at the way the stars have aligned for/against me)

[avarkriss]

just had the very awful realization that im going to bring an aries/taurus cusp into the world - which wouldn't be horrible except it's also the year of the dragon, and there's every single chance that this kid arrives during the solar eclipse

[exaltedfuzz]

Oh man, that three-part comic you posted. Such wonderful Skye sisters bits.... And making me want to take out Gant's knees with a baseball bat. >:| Really good content, loved the bit with the Snackoos, and the part with "SHE needs YOU?" Gant's notepad is a nice touch! Would you mind transcribing it though? Some of it is a bit hard to read. ^^; (Tiny side-note, but your British is showing; they drive on the right side in America, which means the driver's seat is on the left side of vehicles. :v )

Thank you so much! Really glad I could get both the sisters and Gant across successfully. It was originally a screenplay, so enjoy reading!

(I did realise that about the car. I didn't really want to re-layout everything... Besides, write what you know, right?)

Anyway! Here's my screenplay, under the cut. I figure pages and pages of text isn't fair to make people scroll through on my blog.

(And, in case you haven't seen it, here is my comic!)

SCENE - GANT and LANA’s office. They’re having a meeting. (set shortly after SL9)

GANT

Mighty fine to see you, Miss Skye. (shaking head) You’re always so busy… (looking up) How’s your sister?

LANA

Fine. She’s (looking aside) doing very well at school.

GANT

Such a smart girl. (nodding towards Lana) Like her big sister.

LANA

Thank you, sir.

GANT

I know you took the advanced bar. You ought to have told me yourself, Lana.

LANA

I… I did. I’m waiting on the results.

GANT

Oh, I can tell you. You passed with flying colors. Such a smart girl.

LANA

It’s a relief to hear.

GANT

Oh, Lana, don’t be so tense - we’re friends here. You and me.

Beat

‘Cause, remember, I’m the only one who knows. (uncomfortable smile)

LANA

Yes, sir. 

GANT

Lana, please - Damon. Not sir. I’ve told you before.

LANA

Yes, Damon.

GANT

(claps) That’s right. I’m so very proud of you, you know.

Beat

And I’ve done something for you.

Beat

Oh, you don’t have to thank me.

LANA

…What is it?

GANT

I’ve fast tracked you. Pulled a few strings. Talked to Blaisey, talked to the P.I.C. (very enunciated)

LANA

You didn’t have to, sir.

GANT

Oh yes, I did.  Chief Prosecutor Lana Skye.

LANA

(taken aback) Sir-

GANT

Damon.

LANA

(leaning forward in chair) Police Chief Gant, SIR! I can’t possibly accept that. What of…

GANT

Calm down, young lady. Manny? Oh, he’ll live. The prosecutors’ office needs you. You know I’m all for feminism, women in leadership.

LANA

I’ve never prosecuted in my life.

GANT

Oh, Lana, don’t talk like that. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to Ema, would you?

(Lana sits back in her seat)

Beat

I know you’re raising her on your own.

Beat

On a detective’s salary, no less.

LANA

No. Yes, I mean.

GANT

(laugh) Oh, Lana, you are a funny one. (suddenly serious) But you know what Ema did.

LANA

(chewing her nails) Yes.

GANT

It would be a shame. She’s all geared up to take up a prime position in the lab soon as she’s out of school…

LANA

She doesn’t need any help.

GANT

Oh, but she does. Did you forget? Our very own Neil Marshall…

Beat

What a diligent boy. Little too much for his own good. Maybe. (laugh)

Beat

Oh, whoops! Remind me, who killed Neil Marshall?

LANA

…Joe Darke.

GANT

Come on now. Say it with me, Lana. Ema Skye.

Beat

LANA

It was an accident.

GANT

Well, sure. That’s why we’ve worked so hard to make Ema innocent.

Beat

But I need you in the chief prosecutor’s office.

Beat

You look queasy. Why don’t we go for a swim?

LANA

I didn’t bring a swimsuit.

GANT

(laugh) Oh, you crack me up. Tomorrow, we’ll go swimming. Don’t forget, OK? I’m writing it in my diary.

LANA

I booked tomorrow off. 

GANT

Oh, did you, now?

LANA

It’s Ema’s birthday. And parents' evening.

GANT

Oh, alright then.

Beat

It must be so hard on you. 

LANA

Not at all.

GANT

Oh, don’t lie to me, Lana. Deceit isn’t a good look on you.

LANA

I’m proud to have a sister like Ema. She’s not a burden on me, if that’s what you’re implying.

GANT

Oh, no, no, no. I’d never say anything of the sort. You’re just… always so busy. Maybe it’d be for the best to send her off to a boarding school, or the like.

LANA

SIR! (clearing throat) She… needs to stay with me.

Beat

GANT

My, so animated. Tell me, “she needs to stay with you”, or “you need her to stay with you”?

LANA

(snapping, suddenly) Don’t-

GANT

Don’t what? Go on.

LANA

I do need her. She’s my sister. That doesn’t make me weak.

GANT

Oh, no. Strongest lady in the force. Soon to be strongest lady in the prosecutors’ office.

LANA

(hanging head) Yes, sir.

Beat

Damon.

GANT

Oh, I’m so happy to hear it. You and me, we’ll make sure all criminals get their just desserts. Right?

LANA

(muttered) What is “just” about this?

GANT

Watch your words, Lana. You know I take my job very seriously.

Beat

Let me know how Ema’s parents’ evening goes. Tell her uncle Damon says hi. I’ll be sure to get her a present, alright?

LANA

Since when are you “uncle” Damon?

GANT

Well, Chief Prosecutor Skye, we’re friends here, you and me.

Beat

And I’m uncle Damon.

Beat

Tell me, what does she like?

LANA

…Forensic science.

GANT

(laugh) Oh, surely there’s something a little less morbid.

LANA

(pause) I…

GANT

Surely you know. You’re such a good big sister, after all.

LANA

��She likes lots of things. It’s hard to keep up. She’s in a few clubs.

GANT

Oh, Lana… You’ve been working hard.

LANA

Don’t use that tone with me, sir.

GANT

(laugh) I’ll find her something. Why don’t I take you both swimming? 

LANA

Please don’t worry about it. Ema’s not really big on swimming.

GANT

Oh, so you do know! What a good big sister.

LANA

… Don’t come by the house, please. 

GANT

Aw, Lana. Don’t be like that.

LANA

I mean it. She told me she just wants things to be quiet.

GANT

Mmm. I’ll swing by the school carpark. 

LANA

… Fine.

GANT

Wonderful! Oh, I’m so happy. Really, I am.

Beat

Where is she now, Chief Prosecutor?

LANA

Afterschool hockey.

GANT

Mmm. Is she good at it?

LANA

I think so.

GANT

Mmm. Did you do any sports in high school, Chief Prosecutor?

Beat

LANA

…I did. Netball.

GANT

Oh! How wonderful! We should play a game of beach volleyball sometime.

LANA

Different thing. 

GANT

(laugh) Stubborn as always, Lana!

LANA

(checks watch [6:30] and abruptly stands) Sir.

GANT

Damon.

LANA

Damon - I need to leave.

GANT

Mmm.. Yes… I thought as such. After school clubs seldom run on quite so long as this.

Beat

But you will take up the position?

LANA

… Chief Prosecutor?

GANT

Oh, yes. You’ll be perfect.

LANA

I see no other choice.

GANT

Wonderful, really. I’m so glad we have this partnership, Lana. Sorry. Chief Prosecutor Skye.

LANA

Yes. Damon.

GANT

Now go on, get. Your baby sister’s waiting.

SCENE - EMA is waiting in the rain under a small shelter in the school car park. It’s getting dark, and she keeps looking at her watch. LANA’s car pulls up, and she winds the window down.

LANA

I’m so sorry, Ema.

EMA

… It’s been over an hour.

LANA

Just… Get in the car.

EMA puts her bags in the boot and sits in the passenger seat beside LANA.

LANA

(turning car around) Did you have a nice day?

EMA

Mm.

LANA

What did you have?

EMA

Chemistry. And Biology. 

LANA

And…?

EMA

And lunch.

LANA

You’re not skipping classes, are you?

EMA

No.

LANA

Then what did you have?

EMA

Math.

Beat

And English.

LANA

… How were they?

EMA

Same as always.

LANA

Working hard?

EMA

Mhm.

Beat

Um. What did you do today?

LANA

Well, paperwork, mostly.

Beat

… I have good news.

EMA

Hm?

LANA

I’m getting promoted.

EMA

Oh, what? Cool!

LANA

Mm. So, I’ll buy you something nice with my first big new paycheque.

EMA

How about a lab?

LANA

I don’t know about that… How about some proper tools? To get you started on your big forensic lab?

EMA

…That would be really cool.

Beat

So, you’re what, deputy? Vice deputy?

LANA

… Well, I have some more good news. Do you remember a few months ago when I took the advanced bar?

EMA

Mm…

LANA

Well, I passed! “With flying colors”, says Mr. Gant.

EMA

Hey! That’s great news!

LANA

… So I'm actually district Chief Prosecutor. Isn’t that exciting?

EMA

Huh?

LANA

Mr. Gant says I’ll be perfect for it.

EMA

… Wow. That must be a lot of responsibility.

LANA

It is. I’m sorry, Ema. I was in a meeting with Mr. Gant. That’s why I was so late.

Beat

He’s very insistent.

EMA

Maybe I should start driving myself home.

LANA

Don’t be ridiculous. You’re thirteen.

EMA

… Would you take me to court over it?

LANA

Yes. And myself, for neglect.

EMA

You’re so serious.

LANA

Correct.

Beat

Serious about making sure you have a great time on your birthday. (weak smile )

EMA

(weak laugh) Yeah?

LANA 

Mhm. I got you something today. Just in my bag. Have a rummage.

EMA leans back to grab a packet of snackoos out of Lana’s satchel.

LANA

I hope it’s the right thing. Not much, just from the vending machine at work. I promise I’ll get you something better tomorrow.

EMA

… Thanks. (crinkling packet between hands) I like these.

LANA

Oh, good. I wasn’t sure. Let me try one?

EMA

(opening bag) Alright.

LANA and EMA both eat

EMA

So… You’re Chief Prosecutor Skye?

LANA

Mhm.

EMA

Almost as cool as Dr. Skye, forensic expert.

LANA

… And I’m guessing that’s you?

EMA

Soon.

LANA

… Finish high school first, ok?

Beat

Ema, are you sure you still want to work with the force?

Beat

It’s ok if you don’t. The past few months have been a lot.

EMA

… I’m tough.

LANA

You are. 

Beat

I’m very proud of you, Ema.

Beat

You know what? Let's get a takeaway to celebrate. My promotion and your birthday.

[shepherds-of-haven]

I saw this on another blog and thought it was a cute question 'what's a line or a scene you've written that you still think about because it makes you happy?' (Sorry if I've sent this to you already. I've been sending it to all my favourite projects and can't remember if I got you already!)

Ah, no problem, I always love questions like this!

To be honest, there are still lots of little lines or scenes that still make me happy (or I guess just make me laugh)! It's most often the random little moments of humor or quirkiness, but they just make me smile! Off the top of my head, I still think the levity in the swamp in Chapter 7 is really funny, especially if MC tries to kiss a frog (to everyone's collective horror) and the frog is looking at them like this the whole time

Also:

Riel tiredly kissing MC's hand and not even realizing he's doing it 🥺

Chase's first written note to MC if you teach him how to read

Blade awkwardly handing MC her mail after she comes back from a long mission... like right on the front steps of the compound 10 seconds after she arrives

Blade and Trouble ripping on each other for how the other one dresses

Asking Lavinet if she knows how to swear and her attempt to prove it

Shitting on Halek for various things (witch's bane, making him carry you across a puddle just to assert your dominance)

Playing the fuck, marry, kill game with Tallys

Pretending like you don't know that Lavinet has cousins if you sleep with Prihine LMAO

Giggling about who you have a crush on with Briony at your sleepover

Taking psychic damage over having the Rangers of Blest rules explained to you by Caine's friend

Knocking Ebert out

Romanced!Red bringing up ✨ the vibes ✨ if you share a room together in Wallmire, especially if you're exes lgfjgd

Ayla gleefully telling you that Red got propositioned by a prostitute in Heth Macoll

Finding Shery's diary LMAO

Naolin and Halek bickering with each other; Halek cheerfully swanning off to join the Shepherds to force his brother to do the job he was always meant to do

The fact that Chandry is writing a play about your exploits and you don't even know it yet 😂

The fact that every Captain gets a ton of love letters from lovesick recruits or civilians and it's just like... a thing. The fact that some people like Trouble just casually throw them away without reading them

There are so, so many moments that make me laugh or smile that I can't even list them all! But it was fun to try and think of as many as I could, so thanks for your question!

[personfrommars2008]

dollies diary, a sneak peek into my book

Chapter 2

Dark knight     

I watched her from the closet. Her blonde hair spread across the pillows as she fell into sleep. Her long lashes brushed her cheeks, her breath becoming steady and slow. When I was sure she was sleeping I stepped out of the closet leaving behind her clothes of lace and silk. I brushed by her dresser as I made my way to the antique rocking chair next to her bed I came to enjoy.

 Soon. Soon I will tell her that I love her. I brushed my black hair out of my face as I stroked hers. I was convinced she was an angel. I moved here a few months ago this summer. Remembering the first time I saw her. She came around the second day I moved here to welcome my family into the neighborhood, a silk and lacey dress flowing around her thighs, her long blonde hair spilling over her shoulders, cookies in hand. 

My grandparents opened the door. My grandmother gasped at her, telling her how beautiful she was, and fangirled over her dress. I sat behind them, knowing she couldn't see me. At first, I didn't see what was so appealing, sure she was beautiful but I wasn't so easily swayed. My grandparents called for me to meet her but I didn't bother coming to the door, they didn't push. Not after my parent's death last spring... Later, when I went to school for the first time. Then I saw her in my second hour, some girls walked up to her desk and shoved her to the floor when the teacher wasn't in the room. She gasped in pain as she fell to the hard floor. One girl slid her books on top of her. The other girl grabbed the notebook she was writing in and laughed reading aloud her most private poetry, of wanting to leave this town and become a star. 

Then she handed the notebook to the other girl, who looked like she didn't enjoy this one bit. She flipped the page and read aloud “Fear of death. Why am I afraid of a final breath? I wish and pray for my life to end but yet… I'm still afraid, afraid of the emptiness in my lungs, the endless void, yet I crave it so. Or am I afraid of the wrath of god? I try and try to do the math but yet… I'm still clueless about my fear of death.” 

The girl who was reading it looked so shocked, that tears formed in dollies eyes. The main girl, who I later found out her name was Bella, laughed and taunted her saying “Poor little Dollie whatever shall you do? Maybe if you were normal you wouldn't-” She was cut short when the teacher walked in seeing Dollie on the floor with books on top of her, the girls in front of her dropped the notebook and raced back to their seats, and Bella laughing like they were in middle school.

 The teacher sent all of them to the office. When the class started, a boy tapped my shoulder. He smiled and said his name was Max i tried my best to return the smile but came out wrong. He continued, “That's Dollie, and the girls bullying her are Amelia and Bella. Dollie is bullied a lot but no one stands up for her, mainly because the girls are scared of Bella and the boys… well they either don't care or do it just to get into her pants. She has a blog everyone at school knows about.”

 He took out his phone and pulled up her blog dollies diary he scrolled and scrolled laughing at her. Rage bubbled inside me, not because I cared for Dollie but because I knew what it was like to be made fun of. I couldn't even imagine what it was like for the whole school to see her as entertainment or a nice piece of ass. 

Later that night pulled up my computer and made a username; darkknight56. I scrolled learning more and more about Dollie. That's the moment I fell for her. Learning about her hopes and dreams, and reading everything on her mind was so fascinating and beautiful. She truly had a beautiful mind. I soon found out where she lived and visited her almost every night. 

I snapped out of my memories when the sun rose. Shit. I had to get out of there before her parents woke up. I slipped out of the room, my steps silent. AsIi exited out the back door. I wrote my reply to Dollie's comment.

Darkknight56: soon angel, soon.

[oozmium]

Hidden Relics and The Man Who Hid (Them) - Translation

This is a translation of Hallelujah's side story found in the SMTIVA artbook. There used to be a translation floating around for this a couple years ago, although it appears to have been taken down. So I've asked a good friend of mine to translate the story and I looked over it for lore accuracy.

A direct link to the translation hosted on their blog can be found here. But if you'd like to read it on tumblr, click the read more. Please enjoy your read!

One more thing: PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS TRANSLATION ANYWHERE ELSE. Instead, link back to either this tumblr post or my friend's blog if you wish to share it.

Hidden Relics and the Man who Hid Them

Original Writer: Mito Yoko

Translator: VerdantGrove

ENG Proofer: Elegy

note: translation notes can be found at the bottom.

— 

A single notebook rests in the man’s hand. That aged notebook is just one of the relics the man found in his former residence…it’s the memoir of a certain woman. The man places his fingers atop the warped cover just as he always does, and sets foot into the world of the memoir…

— 

Feb 12

Hallelujah found a pen and a notebook. He said it was a present for Mama. I used this when I was study-ing¹ with Angel. How long ago was that again? Hallelujah’s four now, so… No, no. I don’t wanna think about it.

Angel complimented my handwriting. He said “it’s not very well done, but repetition is key.”

Writing a diary so he compliments me again.

Feb 13

Three visitors. Ashura Kai came to collect the money, and give us food rashions². A little more than usual, thanks to the work I did. Mama will work hard for Hallelujah.

Feb 14

Zero visitors. Big fire in Shibuya. Scary. 

Humans are scarier than demons. Angel…

Feb 15

Four visitors. Tired.

Feb 16

Visito

May 2

Forgot about the diary. Writing every day is hard.

Jun 13

Ashura Kai came to collect the money. Guy in charge is annoying.

Luckily visitors were nice today.

Jun 15

We got canned food from the guests³. Hallelujah was super happy. But… I didn’t know what to say when he asked me “what’s a backblue⁴?”. If Angel were here, he would have told him. Have to study.

Jun 20th⁵

Hallelujah keeps yelling about wanting to go outside. Even though it’s dangerous up there. Even though I’m doing my best to live down here for him.

Jul 4th

Hallelujah and I talked about Papa. “Samyaza”... I get shy just saying his name. I’ll keep what really happened a secret for now.

He asked me, “why isn’t he with us?”

Why, I wonder?

Jul 15th

Ashura Kai came to collect the money.

Seems grades are good. Oh dear.

August⁶ 15th

The Ashura Kai⁷ came to collect the money. I ranted to a friendly guest, and their response was “poor thing.” They said I was such a poor thing, having to work and take care of a child at the same time.

Am I really a poor thing?

August 16th

Was all guests I hated today. But have to stay strong. For Hallelujah.

Sep 9⁸

Wrong. Something, wrong. Head spinning. Get mad when I look at Hallelujah. How can he laugh when I’m suffering this much? 

But all this suffering is for his sake.

He looks just like me and I hate it. Hate everything.

September 15th

Collected the money.

I’m mad. Can’t even look at Hallelujah.

September 2

September 21st

I hit Hallelujah yesterday.

He kept asking questions about my work, and I said “you know it’s all your fault” and hit him.

I even blurted out “it’s your fault Angel went away too.”

I’m awful.

September 30th

Hallelujah threw up.

While I was cleaning it up, he cried “sorry, sorry.” I said “you’re a lot more serious than you were when you were a baby,” and it made me laugh. 

I felt like that was the first time I’d laughed in a long time.

Then Hallelujah laughed too.

He laughed for me, even though I’d done something so horrible.

For some reason, it made me want to cry.

October 1st

I’m thinking as I watch Hallelujah sleep.

Hallelujah’s name was given to him by Angel.

It means “gratitude.”

I was really happy, so I tried my best to remember how to write it, even though it’s hard to spell⁹.

How the hell did I forget that? I’m such an idiot.

October 3rd

I hit Hallelujah and managed to say “sorry.”

He forgave me with an “it’s all righty.”

He patted me with his tiny little hands.

Sorry. Love you.

October 15th

That guest again. Always telling me I’m a “poor thing,” so annoying.

October 21st

I still have a lot of mixed feelings about Hallelujah.

But I’m not angry at him. Luckily.

Nov 15¹⁰

What am I gonna do? Hallelujah hit the man who collects the money. I got hit, then Hallelujah, he turned into something not human, got scary strong, then that guy, he wouldn’t move. Ashura Kai—no, oh my God, this isn’t what you should write in a diary.

But I want to calm down.

Hallelujah can’t stop shaking even though I’m hugging him tight.

Hallelujah was just helping me. He didn’t do anything wrong. That’s it, Hallelujah didn’t do anything wrong.

Hallelujah did not do anything wrong.

Hallelujah cried himself to sleep. Thank God.

It was hard, but I made up my mind.

We’re going to leave the Underground. I thought I wouldn’t survive if I wasn’t here. But that’s wrong.

I have everything Angel has taught me. It’ll be okay.

Leaving before the stores open is a matter of life or death.

I’ll keep Hallelujah safe.

—

“They sure do change easily, these ‘humans.’”

The man's cold and emotionless words reflect his hardened features as he emerges from the glow of the streetlights. And yet, for some reason he couldn’t place, when his eyes catch sight of these words of determination written in smudged letters, his hand stops. The man had never once thought about why that was.

Just as his hand stopped, he checked his smartphone for new notifications, but… The name which he hoped to see was still not there. Ignoring the many voices seeking out his direction, the man turns his attention to the rest of the memoir.

This memoir tells the tale of a mother and child desperately searching for a way to survive. Silently, the man continues to read…

—

May 19th

Our life on the surface has been going smoothly, thanks to us handing out Reds. I’m less worried about the demons. Hallelujah will be 10 soon. Seems like he’s made a friend called Chiro. I wonder what kind of kid they are?

June 12th

We got canned food as payment for the Reds!

Hallelujah was on the edge of his seat before we even opened it. He looks happy eating the fruit. I’m glad.

June 13th

Hallelujah fell asleep hugging the empty can.

It made him that happy?

June 15th

Studying with Hallelujah. I want to tell him everything Angel taught me.

June 28th

Hallelujah made me mad. It was because he took out that empty can when we were collecting relics. Is that thing his prized possession…?

June 29th

Making up with Hallelujah. I promised I wouldn’t put my hands on him without thinking anymore. Sorry, Hallelujah.

July 10th

I know what Hallelujah’s friend is now. It was a shock.

July 12th

I ran into that guest from our time underground. I wished they’d shut up about wanting me to come back to the city or wanting to look after me. Not to mention they told me how sorry they are for me again. I’m mad.

July 18th

Hallelujah has gotten good at looking for relics.

I told him “you’d be fine doing this on your own at this point” to praise him, but that made him extremely grumpy. Why??

July 20th

That guy’s here again. Ugh.

Even though Hallelujah’s forgotten what happened that day.

July 22nd

Hallelujah doesn’t seem to like studying. He said it was because he was gonna play with his friend, then ran off. Where’d this come from?

If only Angel were here at a time like this…

August 22nd

Had a conversation with a grumpy Hallelujah.

Studying is essential for proper judgment.

It’s essential in order to decide for yourself what’s important to you. Just like how I decided to believe Angel. …I wonder if I got through to him?

September 2nd

I found out why Hallelujah was acting so strange.

That man told him things. Things like “it’s my fault you got driven above ground” and “they want to get rid of me.” What the hell? Sure enough, humans are the worst. Way, way worse than demons!!

I want to explain. But what should I say?

September 5th

That guy has been loitering around us again.

Hallelujah is still feeling down too… Worried.

September 30th

I was debating whether or not to do this, but I’m going to tell Hallelujah.

That Angel really is an angel.

That he’s not human.

And… about what happened that day.

Tomorrow I will tell him. Angel, give me courage.

October 1st

The conversation went awful. “You’ve been giving me special treatment ‘cause I’m not human,” and “I can tell my dad was more important to you.” …I had thought it’d go like that.

October 3rd

Hallelujah’s in his room with Chiro, and he won’t come out.

If I was Angel, what would I do? …Maybe It’s because I’m always like this that it seemed like his dad was more important to me.

I have. To think.

October 4th

I’m rereading through this diary and thinking. I’ve written everything here, whether it’s the things that made me happy or the things that caused me pain. It’s really true that I hated that child. It’s really true that I loved him, too.

All of it. It’s all true.

October 5th

Received a summons from that man. I’m scared, so I’m bringing that weapon I snatched back then. I wonder; can I use it?

I want to talk with Hallelujah when I get home.

I’ve finally settled on what I want to say.

I like Hallelujah.

I love Hallelujah, because he’s Hallelujah!

I didn’t ask for us to make someone I could cherish other than myself just so I could abandon him.

When I had a chance encounter with Angel and was blessed with Hallelujah, I was really, truly happy.

I just wanted to do a good job of getting this happiness across to him, too.

…Can I even get that across to him? I’m an idiot, so I doubt I can.

But I’ll tell him as many times as it takes. Angel told me that repetition is key, after all.

Well, I should head out soon. …I know you probably wouldn’t give me a reply to this, so I’ll write it here.

See you later, Hallelujah.

—

The memoir ends there, and the aged notebook does not speak further. But the man knew. He knew of both the woman’s abrupt and miserable end and of the whereabouts of the child who lost his mother’s protection…

“Mr. Abe, it’s an emergency!!”

The man who was called—Abe, furrowing his brow, would go to respond to the insolent trespasser.

“Understood. The ‘final battle,’ yeah?”

Yes, at last, the curtain has risen on the battle between God’s Chariot and the Demon King. As Acting Chairman, it is his duty to finish this play, and yet…

“...Not a word from him.”

There were still no notifications from the person he longed to see—from Hallelujah.

That made one thing apparent—estrangement.

“Guess ya found yer angel… Eh, Ayako?”

Abe—the fallen angel who was once called an ‘angel’—imagined a future in which he would stand opposite his own son…and laughed.

<Fin>

TL Notes:

Studying is written in katakana here. It shows unfamiliarity with the written word.

Half of the word is written in katakana here, and the other half in kanji. I chose to portray this as a misspelling, as someone new to writing would be just as likely to misspell the word “rations” in English as they would be not to know the first kanji of the word haikyuu (rations) in Japanese.

Mama writes the word okyaku (visitors/guests) in kanji for the first time here. I marked this with a switch from “visitors” (neutral connotation) to “guests” (more respectful connotation of welcomeness).

Hallelujah seems to have flipped the kanji in the word “blueback (fish)”（青魚 lit. blue fish）to 魚青 (lit. fish blue); I had him flip the word “blueback” to “backblue” in the same manner. He likely read it left to right instead of right to left.

Before this date, the days were written in hiragana. This marks the switch to the use of kanji for each day. I decided to portray this by typing the numbers in proper date format (e.g. 20th instead of 20).

Before this date, the months were written in hiragana. This marks the switch to the use of kanji for each month. I decided to portray this by typing the months spelled out instead of abbreviated.

Rather than writing the “Ashura” in “Ashura Kai” entirely in hiragana as she had been doing previously, Mama writes the first kanji in “Ashura” here for the first time. I decided to portray this by using the article “the” to make it a more complete sentence, thus similarly showing a progression of education.

Mama returns to writing the date entirely in hiragana here in her distress.

Referring to it being difficult to write the kanji for gratitude (感謝). I paralleled this to spelling the word.

Same as TL note 8.

[redacted-s-journal]

insatiable | 29/08/2024 | 22:48

yo,

not sure what to put on here. i was never the type to journal or write diaries as a kid. never quite understood the purpose of such things. i mean, i guess i can understand the practical reasons of it - whatever it may be - but it's one thing for the brain to know and for the heart to know.

so why am i doing this? i don't know, just thought it would be fun. it was kind of an impulsive decision. i can't remember what prompted me to start this either. this blog will serve as me writing down my thoughts i guess?

i guess don't really expect people to read these either (but that won't stop me from adding tags to this post! :D). maybe i'll look back at these entries one day. maybe i'll cringe, maybe i'll laugh. who knows.

but hey, if you're here and i have zero idea who you are, hello there.

y'know, i've always liked the idea of anonymous journals, like imagine finding a stranger's journal and reading about their lives, not knowing who they are. kinda sick.

whatever, i'm rambling. i'm mainly writing this right now because i have nothing else to do. i've already finished up with what i needed to do - assessments, email lecturers. i wanted to play some video games, but it doesn't feel fulfilling anymore. maybe i'll feel good in the moment, but it's not like i'm looking forward to doing it.

i just feel like i could be doing something more productive. i get i should set some time for myself where i can take a break from work/productivity for self-care or something. but i just can't shake off the thought that i could be doing something else, something more productive.

i was thinking of finalising a programming timeline for myself - basically just trying to learning all sorts of coding languages within a year. i'm already in a programming course, but i feel like i could be doing more, y'know? currently i'm learning SQL, HTML/CSS, and XAML/C#. but i could be doing more.

it kinda sucks, thinking like this. makes me feel like i can never do enough no matter how hard i try. but it's whatever. i just gotta push through it.

maybe i'm just burnt out.

yeah, that could be it.

but burnt out from what? existing? what's there to be burnt out about? i'm not the busiest person on earth.

i feel like i'm not doing anything - anything productive, that is, and it's killing me. i could be doing something else, i could be more productive, i could be more hardworking.

but why am i not? why am i still writing this?

whatever.

i'll sleep it off, see how i feel tomorrow. i'll try to play a game to take my mind off it.

haha, think this entry's a little too serious.

time to absolutely LOCK IN and QUIT feeling bad! just gotta STAND on BUSINESS WOOOOOO (this is hilarious btw)

Yours sincerely, [redacted]

[sorry-imma-scorpio]

anyway, don’t be a stranger :)

It’s a rant :)

I think I have read Solitaire by Alice Oseman a good 20000 times by now. 

You can’t blame me though, it is an amazing piece of literature and I seem to have found solace in its tragic storytelling. 

It has been a while since I’ve posted anything, no one has read it, but is that really the point? I just seem to exist on this plane and yeah. I found an analysis I did of “The World Is Ugly” by My Chemical Romance, total red flag. 7th grade me was an absolute trainwreck. 

I spend 4ish hours a couple weeks ago on my ranking of Taylor Swift’s albums, and my big three are Speak Now, 1989, and Folklore. Not surprising - I grew up on Speak Now, 1989 was a major gift to 10 year old me, and Folklore is my comfort album honestly.

Honestly, I’m considering just putting my name on this blog, make it more personal. Why not? We’re all going to die at some point, might as well name my own diary that’s floating through space and time.

I want to dye my hair dark, it’ll be the second ever time in my 18 years of existence that I have dyed my hair.

My best friend graduated high school this last weekend. I’m so proud of her.

I am always nauseated but I can’t tell if thats because of my F in French or my long-lasting duel with diet culture and societal pressures.

The current song in my Delta-complimentary-headphones is Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots for no other reason than middle school nostalgia and I am attempting to be an academic weapon (I graduate in less than 20 days and I am having a breakdown about it).

I think that my English teacher is going clinical- she is actually having us use ChatGPT to create a fiction story. Is that not what Hollywood is currently striking? The use of AI in the world of Creative Arts? It’ll be okay, Kai Stormrider (the guardian in this AI-generated mess) will guide me to a hopeful A- at the end of the semester. 

Middle school me would absolutely bully Senior year me for using tumblrdotcom to procrastinate a French assignment that I am literally using google translate for. But hey *shrug* we’re on a floating rock.

I accidentally told one of my ?friend’s? that she dumbs herself down for her boyfriends, but I meant she chooses dumb boys to fall head-over-heels for.

I think she’s going to block me.

In Instagram group chats, I send similar messages to this, but I get told that they are “schizophrenic monologues”... can they not just be me recapping the conversation you asked for a recap on? Must it always be something that requires a diagnosis?

I feel like I should be crying as I write this, but I can’t.

My crying wrapped that I have on Google Forms sits unused this evening, with a total of 36 cries so far that I can remember having this year. It has been 142 days since the year has started. I have spent 25% of this year crying. I thought it was less.

The song has changed- it is now March to the Sea, also by Twenty One Pilots. 

I think Tori Spring was written for me. About me. To me. I feel so similar to her it’s crazy. 

Why do we just write out the full words of “I can not” instead of “I can’t” when we write about period pieces - they used other words. “I mustn’t” for example, still a conjugation, but they used it.

I started another chapstick today. Not because I ran out of my other, but simply because I lost it.

I’ll find it some day. Will I find myself in the way I will inevitably find my vanilla Burt’s Bees?

Life is a bitch.

Hozier played. Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene.

I still haven’t listened to francesca.

I have told my ?friends? about this account, how I use it to cope. But none of them care. A snap back here, a laugh, a text left on read.

Last weekend, I went on a vacation from school for a bit. To go see my best friend as she graduates from high school. It was nice to feel wanted.

I start nearly every line with an I. 

I should be more creative.

“I Wish You Would” by Taylor Swift.

What would you wish for?

I don’t know what I would wish for. A break? A trip? An A in the French class I am still procrastinating?

My girlfriend already went to sleep. I love her so much, just everything she does. I feel bad that I feel like this, but I can’t just tell her. We’re long distance so she would worry and I can’t do that to her - I know that is a whole anxious-avoidance style or whatever. But IDK. I don’t want to stress her out or worry her, so I stay the happy, sunny, golden retriever girlfriend.

The Nick Nelson to her Charlie Spring.

She knows I have shit going on in my life, in my mind, but not as much as I really do deal with.

still not crying

Got some Panic!, MCR, and now Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers. 

“do you feel ashamed?”

I have 22 missing assignments, and even less days to make them up. I’ve mentioned that.

I’m going to procrastinate later. Tomorrow. I sign up for where I sit for graduation.

yay.

you are loved,

scorpio (kind of)

[daebors]

cw: venting a little at the start

it's currently 11:32 and I'm feeling super anxious. I'm writing on here because doing something on tumblr usually helps to distract me when I'm nervous. I'm not nervous about anything in particular I don't think. I have generalised anxiety disorder (which truthfully isn't diagnosed, but there's not point of getting one, I know what it is and I can't be bothered to pay or something like that)

I need to read a book named how to stop worrying and start living. it's pretty old I think, but I was invertedly recommended it. I'm wondering if I should get the book or the audiotape. I mostly read in public—wouldn't reading a book like that in front of people be embarrassing?

well I guess that's what the book is about. I need to wash my hair but it's too late to do that now. I'll try to remember in the morning but I always forget these kind of things.

I'd usually say something like this to a hotline or something, but most of them open 24/7 are voice call only which me, being mute, cannot handle lmao. the webchat ones are usually only open until 12 and they always have the worst queues. one time I waited for two hours, but by the time I was at the front of the queue, I could only have a five minute section as it was too close to midnight.

I made an ao3 account though! I think I'll write stardew valley fanfiction. I've already written a bit of a choose your own adventure fanfic, but I'm not sure if I'll showcase it on here. it wouldn't be that difficult to find once it's published though haha.

I sent in my cringey kids' youtube channel to a youtuber I watch often. I hope he doesn't laugh at it or is at least nice about it if he sees and doesn't judge me too harshly. I'm pretty certain he reads my instagram dms to him... I suggested one video and he ended up making a video using that a week later and then back in august I suggested he watched this show for a video and he uploaded an hour long video watching that show only a week ago.

I hope I am making some sort of impact on his life, even if it's small. I started watching him in 2014 when we were both 16. I can't help but think what could have happened if I tried to contact him sooner when he had a smaller audience and was more prone to messaging back. I think we would have been friends, maybe, or maybe that's wistful thinking or whatever they say...

I used to write in my diary everyday. I haven't for ages now as I just kept forgetting and forgetting. I've decided to not be so hard on myself when I do forget and only do it when I really want to. when I'm away from my pc and unable to blog straight away, maybe I'll write it down in my diary to send out later? or maybe that's stupid and I should just write it on my phone so I can copy paste it.

I was watching an analysis of penny from sdv earlier. I didn't watch until the end as it got to her 10 heart scene and marriage stuff which I haven't played through before, but so far I found it super interesting. I love penny. I love all the bachelors and bachelorettes in their own special way, to be honest. I like to think that I see the best in people... or at least fictional characters.

I'm too tired to continue so here's the end of this looong text post. I might post again tomorrow, or next year, who knows.

thanks for reading :) if you want to see more of my life updates feel free to follow me

[lasersheith]

January 2024 Reading Review

I read 7 books and 2 short stories in January and wanted to spew my thoughts into the void

The Books:

Witch King by Martha Wells (414 pages)

The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas (405 pages)

Holes by Louis Sachar (240 pages)

The Reapers are the Angels by Alden Bell (225 pages)

Feed by Mira Grant (571 pages)

Deadline by Mira Grant (581 pages)

Blackout by Mira Grant (512 pages) The short stories:

As Yet Unsent by Tamsyn Muir (26 pages)

The Mysterious Study of Doctor Sex by Tamsyn Muir (25 pages)

My Thoughts:

Witch King

I loved Murderbot Diaries so I was really excited to see Martha Wells also writes fantasy, and this book has a really cool magic system regarding witches and demons and demon offspring that can move their souls into different human bodies under certain circumstances. There are some cool things to think about in this book, regarding self image and reflection, friendship, love, sacrifice, family of origin, and family of choice.

I wanted to love this but I will absolutely settle for liking it. I thought the characters were all really great but something wasn't working for me in the pacing and the jumping back and forth between past and present. Individual scenes and story beats were great though. Somewhere in the 3.5-4 stars range for me.

The Sunbearer Trials

Very cute Middlegrade/YA meso-american mythology style spin on something like Percy Jackson meets Hunger Games. The main character is a young trans half god but his god mom isn't one of the biggest baddest coolest gods so he thinks he's a nobody and turns out to be the big special boy etc. It was cute, I liked how many queer characters were included and nobody made a big deal about it, and the bully character(s) didn't misgender or deadname anyone but were still assholes. There were some clunky trans allegories that could have just been text and some missed opportunities for better character development but overall I liked it and will definitely read the sequel. 3.5 stars.

Holes

I read this in like 7th grade and remembered it being really fucking good and turns out middle school also had impeccable taste. It's just a really good book. There's so much book per book too, we follow essentially 3 different converging storylines and fall in love with 5-8 wonderful characters all in the span of less than 250 pages. Absolutely 5 stars.

The Reapers Are the Angels

Woof. This is a book that takes place in several years after a zombie apocalypse and the main character is a girl somewhere around 16 years old that's been orphaned and her adopted brother died and she has to move on from her place of safety when zombies get to it. I know a lot of zombie books are supposed to be really dark and gritty and edgy but this one was just weird to me. I think there are things to be considered about the nature of humanity, obsession vs love, loss and grief, and pretty typical zombie genre themes and such here, but I didn't care for it. A generous 2.5 stars. Did not continue the series.

Feed/Deadline/Blackout

Also zombie books, a trilogy. Reading this in 2024 was bizarre at times. It's set decades after the zombie "apocalypse" where the US has basically "learned to live with the virus" and follows a team of reporters who score the job of reporting on the campaign of a republican presidential candidate. If you can make it past the soul-crushing comparisons to the state of modern US politics and public health, this is a very fun series. It's also grim and edgy and dark but never loses its sense of humor. It's weirdly more a political conspiracy series with zombies than a zombie series, but in a good way? Almost every reporter runs a blog with some kind of pun in the name. The author makes some BOLD choices and had me gasping aloud sometimes, crying other times, and laughing my ass off in between. Overall 4.5 stars.

Short Stories:

Both of them are from the Locked Tomb series and were perfect. You should read the Locked Tomb series. Seriously. It's so good. If you're reading this, you're on tumblr, so I know you have at least one of the following if not all of them: religious trauma, colonialism/imperialism trauma, at least one gay situationship that almost killed you, and/or a thing for hot girls with swords. 5 stars.

[spiderpoasting]

Yes, I AM giving blogging about my day to day a good go and some spitshine. No need for me to try to be clever. That's not what this is about. No need to make it a coherent diary. I'd even rather nobody looked at this particular blog, mostly.

(Except Allison. Hi Allison. You're a good friend and I appreciate you.)

Iunno, I've been thinking a lot about what I want. I've realized that I want and need quite a lot. Being low maintenance is not something that I could have sustained forever. Suppressing the idea that I could want because I had to be in the service of others to prop up their dreams has done deadly damage to what is the core of me.

I do want things-- not just physical things, but emotional ones-- and that's okay. I'm not really low maintenance. And that's okay, too. I'm a human being with thoughts and wants and dreams, who enjoys making bracelets out of torn up books and who writes to make myself sad or laugh with a genuinely stupid joke, or who performs nonsense constantly.

I break the spines of novels and read ten books in a month and have trouble getting out of bed because I wake up impossibly sad. I drink black coffee even though it makes my stomach sick because I like the bitterness of it. I love my elderly cat with all the fervor of a parent for their child. I fail at growing herbs indoors because there's too little sunlight in my house, but I keep trying and trying anyways.

These little things are part of what helps make me myself and they lack moral quality. I mean it. They just Are, they're Neutral, as neutral as the rainfall because the clouds are too heavy with their own waters.

I shouldn't worry about my friends hating me because I'm unable to do as much as I was doing for them just a short time ago. I'm working towards being able to help them again, to ease their stress-- and not out of guilt, because I love them, genuinely and truly.

Whatever cruel things I might think while at my worst is a product of being at my worst. What has mattered is that I keep in mind that I love them, even when I'm not feeling generous or kind or charitable. And what has mattered is that I have continued to treat them like people I love while I'm at my worst and most vicious. I will recover eventually. It's a cycle that doesn't last forever for me. And while I claw myself back up from the abyss, I'll remember that I'm only an animal with needs and the desire to be loved.

[mikumanogi-blog]

2023-02-01 “Ikeda Teresa” blog 1 [ENG]

I’m Ikeda Teresa

I have an announcement.

Starting today I have an individual blog

Now that I’ve been given freedom I don’t know what I should do

↑by the way, apparently this was taken when I was sleeping

When I realized I snapped and it was all recorded on video （т-т）

Apparently we can send videos on Nogizaka46 messages and so even though it’s embarrassing I’ll endure it and send it

 Well then let me introduce myself again ・_・｡)

Name: Ikeda Teresa, when the little ducks hear my name they all react 𓅿𓅿𓅿

Birthplace: Tokyo. Apparently my Tokyo specific skill is… I should be able to can change train lines at Shinjuku or Shibuya without any problems.

Birthday: May 12th 2022, I’m 20 years old

I’m the oldest big sister out of the 5th generation members(  - -), probably, for now

Lil Tere (peeling broad beans)

Horoscope: Taurus moo

Blood type: Probably A

↑Is what I said and Hii-chan started laughing and then Io-chan hit her with ‘Hii-chan also doesn’t seem like a type A’.

(This is all just bias, I’m sorry)

Size: Height 159mm (I think she means cm) foot size 23.5cm

I’m the third tallest behind NaoMao (I’m barely holding on to that spot)

 Personality: Gloomy and moody like a cat by Naonao

I don’t really like being around other and I like to stick to myself. Recently I’m on a campaign to reduce my shyness and get closer to my senior members.. I’m also called the strange child of the 5th generation σ(∵`)？

 Hobbies: Drawing, reading, collecting ducks. I’m currently working hard to make drawing my special skill.

I really love manga

I want to write a lot of my opinions on this blog so feel free to share your own.

I recently read Kuroko’s Basketball! And I got a message from one of my friends saying “You finally read it!” it was funny.

 Special skill

Not forgetting someone I just met.

It’s strange because I’m not very good at remembering dances and singing.

 Favorite things: Eating, comfy clothes, the people who come read my blog

 Dislikes:  Bugs, tomatoes, feeling reluctant to escape negativity! I’m not good with the sun but I like it, hoping for photosynthesis¯\( ˘–˘ )/¯

Being active, although I was in the basketball club for six years. That’s why I want believe that I can play basketball.

 My favorite Lyrics:

Eien de ha nai mono hana no hakanaisa ni nite

Sono isshun isshun ga ikiteru imi

(Things that don’t last forever are as fleeting as a flower, each moment is the reason we’re alive)

(Inochi ha Utsukushii/ Nogizaka46)

The lights of each moment overlaps and from time to time those colors make the four seasons.

 Penlight colors

Green X white ⋆⸜💚🐼⸝‍⋆

 Since April last year till now the 11 of us have been doing a continuous relay blog, now that it’s over it’s time for a new start.

 It’s kind of sad losing the feeling of having the baton passed from Io-chan to me and from me to Kuu-chan! However, from now I want to write more and more about everyone (○´ｰ`○)

 Once again, it’s nice to meet you <(_ _)>

The cheek gripping brigade

Apparently the cheeks of these three make you just want to grab them 🍚

 That is true…everytime Io-chan and I are together I feel like I’m always been grabbed……..?

 Speaking of which, did you watch yesterday’s LINELIVE?

I’ll write about it in more details later

 If you like please leave a comment

 Thank yo-yo for reading my blog today ( ･_･)/-------◎

Teresa #1

 https://www.nogizaka46.com/s/n46/diary/detail/101113?ima=5630&cd=MEMBER

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[stormblessed95]

Hiii Storm!

I was on tiktok and I saw this video where jimin threw a dreamcatcher on jungkook! I remember I watched some theorie abt that in the past saying that jimin gets sad bc jk rejected it but I can't remember properly, can you talk about this if you know?

I love your blog, read it everyday! ❤

Hi, this was from the end of Summer Package 2017 when they were all going over the gifts they bought themselves. You can find the subbed versions online, JK and then Jimin share their gifts from 1:02:00 minutes in. I've seen the theories you talk about, where it seems like Jimin is upset that JK rejected him or his words over the dream catcher. I disagree.

Jungkook shares that he bought a mini dream catcher. RM points out that it is very similar to the one Jimin currently has around his neck. JK shares a bit more about it and says he will put it up in his room.

Which is when Jimin takes it and points out that it's a necklace, not just something to hang up. JK says he won't wear it around his neck, to which Jimin says "okay then" and tosses it back into JKs lap.

To me, Jimin just looked like well fine then, ignore what you are supposed to do with it then. Annoyed, but not upset. JK didn't look worried he had messed up. He just seemed to decide that yes, he wanted to wear it after seeing that it either did matter to Jimin, or just seeing that both Jimin and then Tae were wearing them "correctly." I don't think it was put on as a necklace to appease Jimin, I think he just changed his mind after seeing Jimin not amused with his silliness or just liking how it did look as a necklace.

He struggled before handing it back over to Jimin for help to get it on. Help which Jimin readily and happily gave him. Jimin who also was laughing and looking totally fine outside that one annoyed comment. He didn't continue to look annoyed or upset with Jungkook, the tone never continued and he giggled plently. So no, I don't think he was upset.

I've also seen people say that maybe stemming from that being upset at JK not wearing their "matching necklaces" is why Jimin decided to give it away. Which I think is a little disrespectful to how touching the thought and intention was with the Gift Jimin gave to V, which was clearly something he had been planning for, and not some spur of the moment decision. He talked about how lucky he was to have found it and been able to give it to him and how bad he felt that because he was so tired, he didn't give as much comfort as he could have to Tae when he knocked on Jimins door after his nightmare. It really is so sweet that clip. His little "I really like accessories, but this one actually isn't for me..." lead in to giving Tae his gift

And how he wrote about it in the end of day diarys as his most memorable moment of the day too. It was a very thoughtful gift for his best friend, it really didn't have anything to do with JK other than how cute it is that JK has one too and wanted to wear the necklace after seeing Jimin giving one to Tae to wear as well. And I'm just sitting here going "now both of his babies have a necklace to keep their dreams safe" 🥺

So do I think he eye rolled a bit at JK being bratty and wasn't amused. Yes. Do i think he was legitimately upset or hurt by it? No, I don't. I think this gets thought over a little too much personally. Lol but that's just my personal opinions over it all. We don't know them or really know how they feel about things like this or why they make the choices they do. This is how I see it though. You can find the full clips on daily motion in parts or on Facebook in full with English subs though. You can watch the whole thing yourself! And you absolutely should

Hope this helps though! Thanks for the ask and the kind words 💜💜 sorry it took me awhile to get to your ask!

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Gestures | Elijah Mikaelson x reader

Requested by anon / Summary: Elijah confesses his love for you in multiple ways, but you don’t believe it until he finally says those three words. 

A/N: I am so sorry it’s took so long to get this out! I’m slowly working through my requests I have, so I apologize if you are still waiting for yours!  I hope you enjoy xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

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Confessing your love for someone is not always the three spoken words of I love you. There are simple gestures that can show that person you love them. However, sometimes the message gets lost in translation and that person only sees you as being kind, sweet, thoughtful. 

Elijah stood at the stove, an apron around his hips and a towel thrown over his shoulder, cooking your favorite meal. He’d remembered a conversation you two had a long time ago and you’d told him your favorite meal, so he decided to surprise you when you came back from shopping with Rebekah. 

The two of you’d met in the French Quarter and hit it off as friends. You’d come to meet Rebekah and became a good friend to her as well. They both enjoyed your company, but Elijah’s fondness for you grew. He began to see you more than a friend, but as someone he could love. He’d never been good with his words and decided actions were the best confession. So, he made himself a list of the things he could do to show his love for you. First was cooking your favorite meal. 

“Something smells delicious!” You comment as you enter the kitchen, arms full of shopping bags. Rebekah follows you with the same amount of bags. Setting them down in the floor you come to Elijah’s side, “Is that my favorite?” You ask with a smile. 

“I thought you’d enjoy it after a day of shopping with my dear sister.” He gathers a small amount on the spoon, making sure to blow on it first to cool it down, “Careful darling, it might be hot.”

You hum in content as you taste it, “Elijah, this tastes amazing! Just like how my family made it.” 

He’d never tell his secret, but he’d called your family and took detailed notes on how to cook it perfectly like they do. “Good, i’m glad. It should be ready any minute now.” 

You and Rebekah decide to freshen up before dinner and on your way up the stairs you ask her, “Did you tell him about my favorite dinner?” 

“I didn’t even know what your favorite dinner was.” She laughs. 

You frown and continue up the stairs. You hadn’t mentioned that it was your favorite recently.. You wrack your brain wondering when you would have told him and then it hits you. You told him the very first day the two of you met almost a year ago and he’d remembered. 

~ 

The second thing on his list was show interest in your interests such as your favorite music. It wasn’t his cup of tea, but he listened to it. The two of you were currently in the car on your way into town for a late lunch. 

“Shall we play some music?” He asks as he turns on the radio. 

You groan, “Please Elijah, none of that stuff you listen too.” 

He chuckles, “None of that today...” He hits play and your favorite artist fills the speakers. 

“Oh my god! This is my favorite artist!” 

He smiles at your excitement, “it’s actually not that bad.” 

You gently hit his arm, “I told you just to give them a chance!” You’d been telling him for weeks to just listen to some of their songs and that he’d like them. 

The two of you sang, well more Elijah watched you with adoration as you belted out the lyrics. He almost told you he loved you then, but he wasn’t great with his words. 

~ 

The third thing on his list was writing love letters among other gifts. However, his love letters weren’t love letters at all. He woke up every Monday morning before you left for work to grab your favorite flowers and would write a small note attached, Good morning beautiful. Have a great day at work. xo -E 

He’d leave the flowers on your doorstep so when you’d leave for work they’d be there waiting for you. Monday’s were always the worst, but when you’d find those flowers on your doorstep it made your Monday’s even better. It left you looking forward to Monday’s. He almost wrote that he loved you on the note one morning but decided in person would be better. 

~ 

Elijah turned on the record player and soft music filled the living room. “Care to dance?” He asks as he holds his hand out to you. 

You laughed, giving a small curtsy, “Why I would love too.” You took his hand in yours and he pulled you into his chest. 

The two of you swayed softly to the music.

“y/n..” 

You pulled away from his chest to look up at him and your stomach filled with butterflies. This was it, the moment you’ve been waiting for. You weren’t blind, you knew now that these small gestures were his way of confessing his love. At least you hoped that was what they were. Would friends really buy flowers and leave a note every Monday morning just because they know you hate Monday’s? 

But you wanted to hear those words from him. 

“Yes?” You breath out. 

“I..I-” He gulps, the words are stuck in his throat. He shakes his head and clears his throat, “Nothing.. It’s just late. I know you have work tomorrow.” 

To say you were disappointed was an understatement. He wanted to tell you and he almost did, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. You felt yourself become frustrated, “yeah you’re probably right.” You harshly pull away from him and snatch up your things from the couch. 

“Is something wrong? Did I say something to upset you?” He frowns at your change of attitude and turns off the music. 

“It’s what you won’t say.” You can’t help the tears that fill your eyes. You wanted him to say it. You’d learned from the past that when a girl says I love you first, it scares the boy off or it turns out you read into it wrong and it wasn’t love, so you’re left in embarrassment. Your eyes meet his and then you rush out the door only to be greeted with a downpour of rain. 

Elijah uses his vampire speed to run to you, stopping you in your tracks, “Y/n please.”

“Just let me leave Elijah.” You try to put your bag over your head to shield you from the rain, but it’s no use, you’re already soaked so you let your bag drop back at your sides. 

“I’m not very good at my words. I thought the gestures.. I thought they would be enough!” 

“Well, they aren’t! I know you feel it when we are together. Tell me I’m not imagining things, that i’m not hallucinating that you love me!” 

“I-I..” Again the words are caught in his throat. 

You shake your head and push passed him. He knows it’s now or never. He must confess or he may lose you. 

“I love you!” He yells out after you, finally able to get the words out. 

You stop and slowly turn around to face him as the rain continues to drench everything around you. 

“I love you,” He breaths out once more, “I could never get the words out. I was a coward and thought the gestures would be enough to show you that I love you,” he shakes his head, “You deserve much better than me, better than what I can give you.”

“Elijah, you’re more than what I deserve. You’re everything I’ve always wanted in a man.” You take a few steps closer to him and you’re standing within touching distance. Your hand reaches out to cup his cheek, “I love you, too.” 

One hand covers yours and he uses the other to wrap around your waist, pulling you to him, capturing your lips with his.

Your arms move up around his neck and he moves his other hand to your hair, leaving the other on your lower back. There’s not an inch of space between the two of you as he whispers, “I love you,” against your lips. 

The two of you stand in the downpour of the rain kissing as if there is no tomorrow. There was nothing left standing in his way of getting you and the happiness he deserved. He finally had confessed those three words and now there was no stopping him from continuing to say them any moment he got. 

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[imaginesmai]

heyy, thank you for answering the request!💜sending it again: I want to request a quarantine angst imagine with tom, something like the reader is alone in her apartment, while Tom is staying in his with the boys, so she is calling him constantly because she feels lonely and the boys start teasing, so he starts to treat reader differently and someday when he thinks the call is over he says she’s clingy or something, reader hear what he said, feel awfully and stops talking to him

This doesn’t come late, this comes completely out of time. I needed a time out of Tumblr, because I didn’t enjoy writing anymore. Hope you enjoy this! I changed it a bit since we’re not longer in complete lockdown, but it has the same basic plot! 

Oceans between us

You waited patiently as Tom finished his conversation with Harry, who had just appeared through the corner of your call and had taken your boyfriend’s attention away. It was an important conversation, you could understand so much, because Tom had muted himself while they talked so you couldn’t hear what they were saying. You were okay with it, really, because you understood that in his line of work he had to keep some stuff hidden until the movies came out. And you had had your fair share of early spoilers from him to accept it.

The problem was that minutes were tickling, and now there was another person in the room – a boy you hadn’t met before, that was laughing behind Tom. It seemed that, whatever they were talking about, was funny.

“Tom?” you tried again in a small voice, not feeling like continuing the call anymore. You looked at the time above the screen – ten minutes since he muted himself.

Either he had turned off the sound, or he ignored you.

In a burst of irritation, you left the couch and went over to the kitchen, your dog following you close. He sniffed your legs and sat while you took a glass of water and leaned against the sink – if he wanted to talk to you again, you could hear it from there. Manchee, the adorable puppy you had gotten a year ago, seemed to catch that there was something wrong with his owner, so he rubbed his nose against your bare leg.

“It’s fine. We talked this morning, it’s not like I haven’t seen him for days” you smiled at him, trying to get yourself to believe your words. “Besides, he has every right to be busy too. Not his fault that I’m stuck”

But it wasn’t your fault, either. One of your classmates in college had tested positive in covid almost a month ago. Your class had been sent home the next day, and you had been quarantined for 15 days – but the quarantine passed, and the classes remained online because the situation in your country got worse, which meant you could only go out grocery shopping, go the doctor in case of need or to work if you were a essential worked. Since the two last situations weren’t given, you were stuck in your small, rented apartment, going out only once a day to take your dog for a short walk.

The first days were hard, and now it had only gotten worse. You were bored out of your mind, tired and sick of being inside. You cried more often than not, and since your family didn’t have the technology to facetime you, the only person you saw beside your reflection in the mirror was your boyfriend. Tom, who was away in another country filming and busy, and who lately seemed to ignore you more often than not.

As expected, because it wasn’t the first time you had to do so, you ended the call, watching a last minute of an empty camera because Tom had left his phone in the room as he went somewhere else.

“We could restart Vampire Diaries”

A bark.

“Watch Mamma Mia? A classic, never grows old”

Another back, this time louder.

“Not a huge fan of me dancing, fine. I respect that – I don’t share it, but alright. Baking?”

More dog noises.

“Of course, you’re up to anything that involves food. When this ends, I’m getting you on a diet. I promise” you said, and you swore Manchee made a protesting noise. “What was that? The greatest showman? You have the best ideas, Manch”

Manchee ran out of the room as you searched for the movie on Netflix, and you didn’t hear him again. As you watched the movie, you kept looking at your phone, hoping to see a message for him and imagining what would it feel like if he called you back. You didn’t want to be a possessive girlfriend, but it hurt when he wasn’t there now that you needed him the most. Rubbing the suspicious wet feeling on your eyes, you put the phone face down and tried to enjoy the movie, even if it was the third time you watched it in a month.

-

As expected, he didn’t call you. You held your pride together and spent the next day giving him radio silence – no calls, no messages, nothing. You took Manchee for a walk, who found a squirrel in the park and made you run behind him. You bought the essentials in the supermarket, that was empty, and went back to an apartment that wasn’t your home. As expected, Manchee ate half of your food when you went to the bathroom, and jumped into the shower when you were it. It seemed that he knew you were having a bad day, so he even cuddled in your lap when you sat down to do some college work.

Wednesday came and left, without talking to Tom. By then, your pride held some deep wounds because Tom hadn’t talked to you again. You had received two messages, a good morning and night, and if he noticed you hadn’t answered, he didn’t care. It was almost night time when you decided to call him. After the second try, you were met with the ceiling of an unknown room and voices you didn’t know.

“ – again. What is she? Three?” someone laughed, but you couldn’t see anything. “My nephew is more independent, and she hasn’t started school yet!”

“Dude, I remember a chick I went on a date with” another deep voice said, and you understood Tom had picked up your call without meaning too. Still thinking what to say, the new person kept talking. “She sent me a message right after I left her in her house. And when I didn’t reply, she called me in the morning. I mean, I know I’m irresistible, but I need space!”

“She’s not usually like this, I swear” Tom chuckled, and you smiled just from hearing his voice. Again, you didn’t have time to say anything because he kept talking. “She’s just… we’ve been away for a while, and Y/N’s country is in lockdown, so she’s bored”

Oh

“That doesn’t give you the right to call you every second of the day, dude! Last week she called you three times. And yesterday you were on the phone with her for a whole hour” the first boy said. You didn’t bother cleaning the gathering tears on your eyes. “She’s way too dependent”

“She’s big clingy, that’s all. We live in different countries, so it’s hard for us. And, I mean, if she – “

“Dude”

You let the phone fall on the couch and you moved out of the camera, barely in time to cover your mouth and cover the sob breaking free. Probably, you were exaggerating, but you felt as if the world was crashing down. Everything was blurry and you breath was stuck in your throat, and you wanted so desperately to dig a hole and die there. Yes, you were clingy. And yes, you called Tom three times a day. But you were alone, away from home and in an awful pandemic situation that could bring anyone down. Before you could move to end the call, the person who had interrupted Tom talked again.

“The phone – you’re on a call”

There was silence, so wide and deep that you could hear a pin drop. And now they could hear the muffled sounds of someone crying. You saw the camera moving from where you were sitting, and you went to hang up before anyone could see that you had heard the conversation – because if there was something worse than getting stepped on, is to know that people have watched it too. T

Tom’s face came into view, wide eyes and open mouth. He looked pale, shocked, and you had barely time to hear the begging of your name before you hang up. The phone rang again, twice. Two facetimes, three calls. Tom kept calling, messaging you, and you lost track of how many times he called you, until you finally turned off the phone.

Manchee came back to the couch, licking the tears out of your face and whining when your body racked with sobs. He looked surprised when the phone went crashing against the wall, but didn’t go after it. Instead, he squeezed himself in the couch beside you, and you cried your hear out.

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[echo-three-one]

I rly don’t want anything but a ghost x reader :’) because I miss my baby

When I saw this, I wanted to initially bail this ask and apologize. I didn't want to get called out again as a terrible Ghost fic writer and get blocked by more blogs but eh... I guess there are perks of being a writer... Just gotta accept and keep moving on.

Anyways. this one's short and kinda not what everyone would expect from me.

Hope you have fun, readers. (Wait, I have readers aside from notif squad?!)

You unloaded the last box and dropped it on the floor by the door, wiping your forehead as you placed your hands on your hips and looked at your new home. This is it, you were finally living the dream. Leaving your country was never easy, but you thought of spreading your wings and the idea of a fresh start was what's best for you.

Your new apartment room was the most decent you could get out of all your options. It looked like someone left on a rush as you saw a newspaper from last week still on the table by the living room. Guess they left some of their stuff for you.

Oddly enough, the said newspaper attracted your attention as the page was open on an article that showed 2 people, who looked like soldiers, one had a mohawk and the other looked old, had a moustache and an explorer hat. It was labeled 'Most Wanted'. You didn't bother to check the rest of the article and kept the newspaper immediately, thinking that you could use it for when you paint the walls.

Still tired from travel, you decided to unbox your albums and notebooks from highschool, as you felt a sudden wave of nostalgia. You just arrived in the new country for like 2 hours and you already felt homesick.

Among the stack of notebooks and binders, one particular book caught your attention. Your high school diary, which was unlocked for some reason and you were glad it was, because you were sure you never found any key when you packed your stuff.

You flipped through the pages of your vibrant high school life and smiled at the narration, word usage and good memories it had. Until one summer when you found a photo attached to the page.

The photo was that of you and Simon Riley, he was one year ahead of you and you both met at  art club. Well, he wasn't a member there but a football toppled your popsicle Eiffel tower and he stayed up until night to help you fix it back.

You were both sitting by the dock of the lake, your smiles were over the heavens, laughing at something that wasn't remotely funny.

The caption read: 

"I remember how we felt, sitting by the water

And every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter

She is the best thing that's ever been mine"

Then you slowly closed your eyes as you remembered him singing that line of the song back in the lake almost 10 years ago. You told him that was the song stuck in your head after you met and he kinda liked the song as well.

This memory suddenly made you cry as you remembered how your relationship with him ended. It was tragic as you two got along for quite a while and even endured the fact that he was in a different school. 

Then one summer, you both met back at that lake, he gave you news that devastated you. He didn't really plan to break up with you that day, but it felt like you should. You couldn't handle the burden of the two of you worrying for one another as it was too emotionally painful to think about.

You no longer had a diary that time but you still remembered his exact words.

"I'm enlisting myself to join the military." he muttered. No intros, no everything, he just straight up said that. You remember your mind process at that moment, thinking about how you two could survive his decision. But no matter how far you've thought about it, it only led to the same conclusion.

"I… I wish you luck." you remembered your voice croaking at that response as you gave him one final hug. You didn't even have to say it, but the context of the two of you splitting up was there. The romance that once bloomed by the water, ended at the same place.

"Be careful out there…" you whispered.

"I will. Take care." he responded with back rubs as you felt your tears drop on his shirt. You were going to miss him. A lot.

"Hey now. Don't cry. Always remember…" he pulled back and looked at you straight in the eye.

"You were the best thing that's ever been mine." he smiled, quoting the line from your favorite song. All you did was hug him again, so tight that you almost don't want him to go.

"One last run at our fave ice cream shop?" he invited and you nodded.

You couldn't help but cry at that memory. It was always dear to you as he was one of the reasons you felt that someone would really love you. But then again, the first love isn't always the last.

You looked out the window and smiled, wondering wherever Simon is right now.

"I hope you're happy, wherever you are. I won't ever forget how you taught me how to love." You whispered as you continued to unbox your stuff. It was going to be a long day.