#remember that I genuinely put effort into writing this utter bullshit

[goofalicousgooberface]

Saw the musical rant:

At the beginning of the onco-la- la- la-logist song, the stage lighting is presented as red and blue. Fitting with the majorly white background of the bathroom set, it gives off the impression of emergency lights. Then, the stage is lightened into (almost) pure white. It moves the viewer from the ambulance lighting to clinic in a way that feels chronologically similar to the actual process of being admitted into a facility under pretense of emergency. Moving further into the lyricism of the song number itself, it allows us, the viewers, to truly get a better understanding of who Lawrence is as a character. He sings a line about his chronically ill father, which pulls an exemplary image of irony when instead of saying his career was rooted in the need to help because of his father’s illness, it is instead rooted in his need to feel power over the helpless. This being a stark contrast to his later character development through Adam, who is the spitting image of helpless when put in their shared trap. Lawrence is shown as a cold, callous character in this number, reveling in the pain of the cancer patients he is allowed authority over. In every way, he is shown to be unlikeable. This makes it entirely more meaningful when he develops empathy for Adam, one that turns into infatuation rapidly. His entire life, he has never understood the true meaning of loving another person, until he’s thrown into a dire situation of life and death. It ironically brings it full circle with an old, chronically ill man in Lawrence’s life starting his life as he knows it presently, and another old, chronically ill man in Lawrence’s life ending it.

[t-citurnity-moved]

Proposal

Summary: Dante considered it a bit ironic; Caine’s dryness was a direct counter to how he acted. He was openly flirty, joked around a little bit too much… and Caine was so utterly the direct opposite; it was if he’d never learned to have an ounce of fun in his life.

Warnings: Self Insert / Canon. Some not very detailed depictions of violence and gore, I guess?

Author’s Notes: It’s been 50,000 years but I’m back on my bullshit. Yes the summary is a line from the fic. Yes it’s because I couldn’t think of anything else to write for it. No you cannot judge me for it. This fic is like... post D//M//C4, so they're like married during the events of D//M//C5 LMAO.

Reblogs are appreciated!

The client had laid everything out pretty neatly – demon problem, willing to pay big money, even had the password; what kinda hunter would Dante be to turn that down? He’d be the idiot everyone called him, that’s for sure.

But on the other hand… He had problems of his own to deal with, damnit. His emotionally constipated boyfriend, for one; if there was one thing Dante had learned fairly early on in his relationship with Caine, it was that the witch literally didn’t take any kind of clue. He was so unfamiliar with tenderness and romance that he always met Dante’s attempts by being very dry.

Needless to say, Dante since had tried to adjust his way of courtship. Flirting wouldn’t work, and even after they started dating, he learned that words were often met with a flat expression. A flat expression and Caine calling him ‘a moron;’ even his most planned efforts didn’t get him very far! And he worked hard on those!

He knew he would have to come up with something beyond spectacular to truly woo his witchy boyfriend.

But that would have to wait – it could wait, couldn’t it? They didn’t have to rush… especially not when they were knee deep in demon spawn.

Caine was beside him, alight with magic that threw the demons aflutter away from the lot of them.

“Are you still alive?” He asked, prompting Dante to snort in response.

“Yeah, you still got me, babe.”

“Moron… Stay focused,” Caine scolded, jerking his hand in Dante’s direction as a demon crept behind him. Dante didn’t flinch; he trusted Caine with his life.

But that didn’t mean he’d let Caine have all the fun. Ebony was in his hand the instant after Caine redirected his attention elsewhere, gun aimed behind him to pop the demon in the head. He could hear it explode into a mess of gore.

Caine huffed, not amused by his theatrics at all – he never was. Unbeknownst to him, Dante was trying to show off this time – he had to prove he was worthy, after all! Else his plan would fall through when they finally cleaned up the place.

It’d been weeks since the decision was made, with nothing in mind for how he could properly go about it; they’d talked about it in the past, Caine didn’t express interest one way or another toward the subject… It was hard to judge how he felt about things in general, but Dante was willing to give it a shot; he’d accept rejection if Caine wasn’t ready for that step yet.

But that still lead him to his original issue – how to go about it? It wasn’t as if he could garner advice from anyone. Nero was clueless in relationships, so he couldn’t ask the kid for help; and Lady and Trish? Well, they weren’t much help either. Dante was on his own with this one.

A bullet whizzed by Caine, just a little too close, and he shot a glare in Dante’s direction, earning himself a grin from the red devil.

“You know I’d never hurt you, babe.” Cheeky bastard.

“Regardless,” Caine countered, “be more careful.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Dante waved his hand dismissively. “I’ve got picture perfect aim! I wouldn’t even graze you.”

Despite his expression, Caine was not genuinely concerned; if Dante could trust him with magic that could literally sap Dante’s energy if Caine weren’t too careful, he supposed he could trust Dante too.

Dante considered it a bit ironic; Caine’s dryness was a direct counter to how he acted. He was openly flirty, joked around a little bit too much… and Caine was so utterly the direct opposite; it was if he’d never learned to have an ounce of fun in his life.

And yet Dante loved him all the same. Enough to even consider…

“Hey,” Dante addressed Caine again, this time after lodging Rebellion into the skull of a demon at his boyfriend’s side, almost ready to pounce were it not for Dante putting a quick end to that.

“What do you want?” Caine hissed, hand coming upon the demon’s head; his right arm illuminated as he sapped the remaining energy from the creature, prepared to counter whatever else the beasts threw at them.

“I was wondering…”

Caine shot Dante a glance, quirked brow and all. “That’s… borderline dangerous. Try not to think too hard or you may blow a fuse.”

Dante rolled his eyes. “Oh, ha-ha,” he said and clicked his tongue, “seriously, baby. I really want to ask you something.”

Caine’s expression was the exact one Dante was expecting; narrowed eyes, lips pulled into a flat line, brows furrowed.

“I’m listening,” he said as he spun himself in Dante’s arm when it came around his waist. The both of them aimed and took fire, - Dante with one of his pistols and Caine with a burst of magic - splitting the demon previously behind Caine in two with their combined effort.

“We~ll…” Dante hummed in response, considering his next few words; he had to pick them carefully if he wanted Caine to understand his meaning without any incident.

“Remember when I asked you what you thought of marriage?” He asked, twirling Rebellion in his other hand to throw blood from the blade.

Caine blanched, turning his back to Dante when the clacking of claws on the ground alerted him. “I suppose so,” he finally responded as he summoned forth his own weaponry from his magic.

“And you said you didn’t care?”

Caine let out a heavy sigh, countering the slash of claws with his bound weapon. “Do we have to do this now?” He asked as he lunged forward, weapon at the ready.

“What? I think it’s romantic!” Dante said with a playful huff, soaring over Caine’s head to strike down the smaller demons that threatened to swarm him.

Caine dodged away from the second bat of claws, striking out with his sword. The demon’s arm fell helplessly to the ground at his feet and he followed up with another counter when it struck out at him again.

“Get on with it, then!”

Dante shook his head, clicked his tongue, and put a hand on his hip. “Come on,” he whined childishly, “play along with me here, babe!” He fired Ebony at the demon, curling his lip slightly as its leg exploded into viscera. With the demon staggered, Caine leapt forward with blade in hand, lopping off its head with a quick swipe.

“Dante, we are in the midst of-!” Caine started, twisting to face the horde of demons they still had to cut through.

Dante smirked – this was it, the perfect time. He interrupted Caine’s complaints by snatching him around the waist, drawing him close, and planting a kiss upon his lips. Gunfire exploded around them, dropping each demon as they approached the both of them.

“You moron!” Caine scolded the instant they parted, swatting Dante away from him. But the devil hunter remained firm.

“Marry me?” Dante asked, cheeky smirk on his face.

“…”

Caine’s mind raced to register the question. He stared at Dante, hands planted firm at his chest.

“Ah…” Was all he managed to utter when he finally understood what was being asked of him. Caine was quiet from then, but his face steadily got redder and redder as he considered the connotations.

Dante blinked in surprise, then burst into laughter, nearly doubling over if it weren’t for Caine still being held tight against him.

“What are you laughing at, idiot?!” Caine asked, the blush spreading to his ears as he smacked his hands against Dante’s chest.

Dante was all smiles and reddened cheeks himself when he finally finished laughing.

“Stupid! Moron!” Caine yelled, flustered, shoving Dante away from him. “Get away from me if you intend to make jokes like that!”

Dante snickered, planting a hand on Caine’s head and giving his hair a ruffle. All while leaning down to plant a kiss upon his lips once more.

“I’m not makin’ jokes, sweetheart,” he said.

“We are in the midst of battle and you…!” Caine pulled away from him, intent on continuing their little tryst until he realised the entire litter of demons they were faced with earlier all laid upon the ground – the occasional twitch, but otherwise utterly dead at their feet.

“C’mon! It’s just as yes or no,” Dante urged. He finally slipped Ebony into its holster, then took both of Caine’s hands in his own. Caine huffed in response, turning his head away, face still burning.

“I love you,” Dante said, “we’ve been together for years and I still love you as much as I did when we got together – even more than that.”

“Shut up.”

“Play along with me.”

Caine curled his lip, then relented with a sigh.

“As I was saying… I can’t imagine my life without you.” Dante brought Caine’s hands up to his lips, pressing kisses to the backs of them. “So… marry me, yeah? We don’t have to have a big reception or anything – we don’t even have to get rings, but…”

“Stupid.”

“Only with you?” At Dante’s response, Caine furrowed his brows.

“… Why is this such a big deal to you?” He followed up, still not looking Dante in the eye.

“’Cause I love you so damn much I wanna settle down with you? I’m not sayin’ we have to have kids or anything, but… I wanna be with you for the rest of our lives.”

Caine was quiet, looking disgruntled and grumbling incomprehensibly. Dante stared him down, getting progressively more nervous; he began to fidget slightly, rocking his weight from foot to foot.

Then, he perked up when Caine finally turned his head toward him; he still didn’t look at Dante, but it was progress.

“… Fine.”

Dante blinked, taking a moment to register Caine’s response. Then, a minute later, he grinned and scooped Caine up in his arms, swiftly spinning him around. Caine clung to Dante, letting out a yelp of surprise.

“Put me down, dumbass! You don’t have to react so suddenly like that!”

“Baby, you just made me the happiest man in the damn world, ‘course I’m gonna act like this!” Dante held Caine close to him, burying his face in Caine’s shoulder.

“I love you so damn much,” he muttered, his words muffled, “so damn much… I’ll save up money to get us rings an’ everything.”

Caine grumbled lowly, “… don’t rush so stupidly into things. You still have debts to pay off.”

“Still. We might not have a big wedding or anything, but the least I’m gonna do is get us rings to wear.”

“Then I suppose you better start taking more jobs,” Caine responded with a huff.

Dante let out a whine. He nosed Caine’s jaw, then raised his head to press a kiss to his temple. “Only ‘cause I want everyone to know I’m a taken man.”

Caine rolled his eyes and merely responded, “… with how you act, everyone already knows.”

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Stranger in a Strange Land

The thing about having low expectations combined with these writers is sometimes they manage to limbo right under them.  Sometimes, though, it's not as bad as I expected, and this was one of those times.  Of course, I was expecting pretty much a rock bottom unwatchable mess, so that doesn't say a whole lot.

I liked the transition from the previously montage to Sam turning off the music in the Impala.  If watching the actual show was half as compelling as their recaps, well... I'd complain a lot less.  But that's neither here nor there. I did get the impression from Jared's scenes of Sam doing various tasks that he was tired and frustrated.  I can see why some people are interpreting it as him keeping himself busy to avoid focusing on the helplessness of being unable to locate Michael!Dean.

I did like Jensen's choices in portraying Michael.  The cold and disaffected demeanor, the different cadence in saying his lines, it was honestly kind of off-putting – but in a good way.  Likewise really appreciated Jensen's deciding that Michael wouldn't dirty his hands fighting some rando human that attacked him and would use his powers instead.

I actually did like the scenes of Jack training and bonding with fake!Bobby, despite myself.  Curse you, Jim Beaver!  Likewise, I thought the scene in the car where Sam and Mary have a genuine conversation about their respective reactions to the search for Dean was well done.  If I hadn't basically given up on Mary by this point, I would think it was even better.  

I did also like the scene with Sam giving Jack a pep talk.  Unfortunately, I didn't appreciate that it was cut short for the utter bullshit of Nick not being dead after being stabbed in the chest regardless of the whole magical blade part.  It's against all common sense and everything we've seen of angels before, like they'd make special blades to spare the mudmonkey vessels?  No, this is just stupidity pulled out of Eugine Ross-Leming's Pellegrino-thirsty ass and I absolutely fucking despise it.  Even before you get to the pathetically clumsy reveal:  Oh, hey, Sam he's awake … so I left him sitting in the dark for the dramaz!  I don't know how my secondhand embarrassment squick is going to cope with even more desperate efforts to make Nick/Lucifer/Pellegrino still remotely interesting or relevant to SPN as the season moves forward.    

Speaking of secondhand embarrassment, I'd toss Castiel not even being allowed to put up a half-ass fight against a bunch of nobody demons in there, too.  Remember when angels were impressive?  Remember when Castiel both had powers and was physically a good fighter?  Now we have this sad, pathetic creature that can't even get a few blows in.  I mean, that doesn't seem like more demons than Sam and Dean alone could take out at this late date?  Furthermore, I get why we have a scene between Michael and an angel to show why he dismisses them.  In theory, I have no problem with them using Anael/Jo for it.  In actuality there was just something about the way it was played that felt like cringey fanservice, to me.  Particularly but not just the way he reached for her face, like, “Wink wink these two are married IRL!”  I'm not interested in Danneel and Jensen interacting onscreen for the sake of attempted invoking of feels about their actual selves.  It wasn't unforgivably terrible or anything, but it struck me weird.  Again, not like there's a lot of other angels for that option and this one could reasonably have Sam's phone number, so I get it, but eh, whatever.

I probably was not supposed to be amused by the episode seemingly going out of it's way to show how useless Castiel is these days with his powers before trying to give Jack his own pep talk about how to not be useless without them.  It was … something.  Isn't that kind of what you're for, indeed.  Apparently the writers are as dead set on helpless woobie Castiel as some fanfic writers are.  

Coming back to Michael, in the end, “making a better world” is the kind of vague, desperate-to-be-ominous nonsense you give a villain you haven't really thought the motivations of through.  The whole sudden interest in what everyone wants was weird and maybe if AU!Michael had even once felt like a character rather than another generic villain who does bad things because...  I think the writers were trying for mysterious and scary and Jensen acted his little heart out - but it just felt pretty random.  Maybe I’ll be more impressed with it when it gets further elaborated on in subsequent episodes. 

Aside from them suddenly taking completely helpless Maggie along on a mission after demons who captured Castiel, I was not half so annoyed at the AU!hunters as I expected to be.  Though perhaps that's something that's worse in future episodes.  Like, if Maggie was actually good at something?  But the episode goes out of its way to show she isn't.  She can't hack traffic cameras and she needs to be asked if she knows how to use a blade - “stab with the pointy end” indeed.  I could buy taking Jack along as bait because the demons might know of him?  But Maggie is pure canon fodder and I don't know why they're trying so hard to sell that chick who got her head bashed in by Lucifer that one time so damn hard instead of someone else new that's *gasp* competent.  Especially when they automatically include her but then argue over taking Jack, who we've at least seen training and actually have investment in.  Between Castiel, Jack, and Maggie, they really just seem to have a mad on for exchanging characters with actual competence for ones that just have a fuckton of visible plot armor.

Which brings us to the whole big confrontation with the demon that kidnapped Castiel.  The good parts were that I actually appreciated using decoys to fool the demons into thinking that was all of Sam's backup.  Sam then saying basically exactly what I was thinking along the lines of, 'who even is this nobody with a handful of demons who hasn't even bothered to conquer hell first' to Mr. Scenery Chewer? Also a plus.  Then Sam getting almost beaten but getting the knife and ganking the demon in one smooth move?  Very nice.  Unfortunately, the writers could not manage to stop themselves there or even continue on in a similar vein.

I know some fans really liked the whole 'Sam tells the demons to run away and they just do' thing?  I can even kind of understand that, but I pretty much outright hated it.  It's exactly what I would expect in a bad fanfic from someone who can't write action and/or plot for shit. It removes any real challenge and thus the accomplishment of overcoming it is cheapened.  Consider if - instead of the demons buggering off in the middle of the fight they were 100% winning just because Sam said so?  Sam ganking the leader and getting free allowed him to help the others and turn the tide of the fight.  Together, they then could actually kill the other demons down to one.  Hey, if you don't think that's believable enough, kill cannonfodder!Maggie permanently to add to the feeling of peril.  Then Sam could tell that one remaining thoroughly beaten demon to go back to hell with the same speech about him not allowing there to be a new king of hell. I'm not saying that Sam isn't already a badass and that demons at this point shouldn't be intimidated by Winchesters.  But demons are stupid and I would a million times prefer to see Sam actively do kickass things over the writers taking the cheap, amateurish shortcut of telling me he's just so awesome his enemies run away at his words, even when they're winning, even though they initiated the confrontation with him.  Plenty of time to do it the right way if they take out the bullshit nonsense with Nick, but these writers are what they are.

Finally, I just have to boggle at all the bad slo-mo in that fight.  What even was that?  Just … no.

[artificialqueens]

In My Mind 01 (Katlaska) - Miss Sugar Pink

A/N: Hello! This is my first time posting here so please be nice to me  ⊂((・▽・))⊃ This is basically a soulmate AU where most people earn a soulmark anywhere on their body as soon as they reach their 13th birthday– their soulmark being the first words their soulmate will tell them after earning the said mark.

I can’t remember where I first found that soulmate AU prompt but once I find it, I’ll properly credit it later! Depending on the feedback this fic gets, of course! While this fic has been tagged as Katlaska, it also has a lot of Shalaska in it. But the main focus here is still Katlaska!

Since this is an AU, some of the queens’ backgrounds have been slightly altered to fit the theme. 

Also, English isn’t my first language so please bear with me!

“When you meet the other half of your soul, you’ll understand why things didn’t work out with anyone else.” - Jill Blakeway

Brian doesn’t exactly have a definite standpoint in terms of soulmates, but he does find the soulmark on his leg just a downright inconvenience— especially considering the fact that he’s a drag queen who takes pride in showing off his thighs. As if it doesn’t take him long enough beating his face with layers and layers of cosmetics, he still has to put forth more time and effort in trying to conceal the ridiculous words on his skin. He takes one last good look at the curvy writing on his right thigh, his brows drawn together in a disapproving scowl, before reaching over for the pair of jeans that lies alone on the bed.

Just right from the other side of wall, he could hear his neighbor still watching what he could assume is The Golden Girls. Whoever the hell they are, they’ve been watching that very same show since early in the morning when Brian finally made it to his new apartment to unpack. He couldn’t even tell if it’s due to the possibility of having ridiculously thin walls, or his neighbor just thrives in being an asshole by watching their shows in full volume.

Either way, it’s not a very good start for Brian on his first day as a resident in Los Angeles.

Maybe he should try to stay positive. Or at least that’s what Bri has been telling him but his friend has been living in LA since the moment he reached his mother’s egg first before any of the loser sperm did. His biggest accomplishment yet.

“Just freshen up and I’ll take you to this really nice club. They have a good drag show coming up and I’m telling you, LA queens don’t disappoint. They give the best gender bending performance art ever. By the end of the night, you wouldn’t even be thinking about him or that trashy writing on your leg.” Bri had told him through the loudspeaker of his phone when Brian was far too occupied unpacking his things to even turn down the invitation.

Brian knows all too well that a night of partying isn’t really going to help him get over the rejection he received from Daniel; the man who didn’t necessarily say the lines the mark on his skin showed but is still so goddamn hot and unbelievably compatible with him. They’ve dated a couple of times and most of them ended with a nice few rounds of fucking in Brian’s old apartment. Until, of course, Daniel eventually told him they weren’t exactly dating. That they were just going out and hooking up to ‘pass the time’.

Unlike Brian, Daniel is a strong believer of soulmates just like everybody else and since their first words to each other didn’t match the ones they have marked on their skin from the day they reached their teen years, Daniel is convinced that they’re just not right for each other.

Which is bullshit in Brian’s opinion because they’ve been having a fan-fucking-tastic time together! They share the same humor, same political views, and even like doing the nasty in the bedroom. And now the only reason why they shouldn’t go out at all is because of some words on their skin? Don’t get him wrong though. Brian is perfectly fine with the concept of soulmates but it’s not something he’s actively looking for unlike everyone else.

If he does find the one he’s meant to be with, then good. But if he doesn’t, so what? Not everyone earns those writings on their skin and they’re lucky because they don’t have to live in constant anticipation over whether or not the stranger they’re meeting right now could be the other half of their soul. Their fate is in their own hands– like Bri, his best friend.

Some people who absolutely loathe the thought of not having the freedom to choose who they belong with have their marks removed. That’s something Bri has been recommending him to do but while Brian is still moping around about how he just got rejected because the person he likes is a firm believer of soulmates, he still sometimes like to think that he will wind up meeting the one he’s destined for.

Even no matter how fucked up the first words that person will be telling him.

“Hey, can you tell this pussyfart that that guy is clearly checking me out?”

Those written words eventually disappear under the fabric of his jeans as Brian puts them on, failing to hold back the cringe that goes along with the action at the thought of his possible future partner saying those exact words. Honestly, who says that to a complete stranger? It would be pointless for him to have that writing removed when he practically grew up with it. Who could forget that exact line?

His soulmate clearly has a colorful vocabulary which is something Brian respects. But this person is also way over his head to be assuming that someone is checking them out and would need some kind of agreement and validation from a stranger.

For the love of all things holy, please don’t let his soulmate be white trash.

–

“Do you have any more nail glue?”

Alaska hands over the bottle to her boyfriend without even the bother to look away from her own reflection in the mirror, checking every tiny detail of the way she painted her face for the night. Seeing people point out on social media about how her lashes didn’t match or that she had lipstick on her teeth can be so stressful. She’s out there trying to be funny and entertaining for them and all they could think about is how to be a goddamn hawk and zoom in on every flaw she has on her.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Sharon points out from her own vanity desk, the lights on her mirror exposing just how thick and harsh her makeup is compared to Alaska’s. “Penny for your thoughts, baby?”

Alaska takes another shot of her cherry vodka— an important necessity for her to do whenever she could tell Sharon genuinely wants to know what’s on her mind but still prone to start an unnecessary argument if she disagrees with whatever the hell Alaska has to say. Having an argument has become a common thing for the two of them lately, which is fine with Alaska. A relationship with someone who just agrees with everything she says would be so fucking dull and boring anyway.

But for tonight, she’s just not in the mood to raise her voice.

“Just a headache.” She finally says after shooting a feigned smile to her boyfriend’s direction.

If Sharon isn’t convinced by her act, it doesn’t show. “Drink some pain-killers then. I promise we’ll head straight home after this if you want.”

“No, I don’t want to be a bother.” Alaska drawls as she redirects her eyes to her reflection, her hands coming up to fluff her blonde wig up a bit. “Besides, we’re supposed to meet and welcome Brian’s new friend.”

“Oh yeah, the one who shares his name?”

“Brian is a pretty common name.”

“I heard he’s a drag queen as well.”

This catches Alaska’s interest although she maintains her gaze on the mirror, tilting her head slightly to the side. “A pageant queen?”

“Comedy, probably.” Sharon snorts in pleased derision. “Come on, he’s a friend of Trixie Mattel. The guy’s most likely a comedy queen. Maybe you’ll finally have someone to relate to. It’s about time you interact with other queens aside from Roxxxy and Detox.”

“Ugh…” Alaska whines before curling her lips to a grimace in distaste. “Do I have to though? He’s gonna see our show anyway and I don’t think he’d want to be friends with someone who gets a blowjob on stage. What if he’s the kind of comedy queen who thinks he’s funnier than everyone else and perpetually has his nose up in the air?”

“Then he wouldn’t be good friends with our dear Trixie.”

Good point.

Honestly though, Alaska just really wants to be polite to the new guy then head straight back home. She’s not particularly keen on dwelling in the crowd after an erotic performance with her boyfriend because she always ends up feeling like she’s being stared at. It’s never a comfortable situation. She’s told Sharon this before but the Queen of Halloween thinks she’s just being too self-absorbed and that it’s all in her head.

And maybe she’s right. Sharon is always right.

Ugh, why is she destined with such an artsy queen?

Despite their clear differences, Alaska is still head over heels for Sharon and she has no doubt that the other drag queen feels the same way. Their arguments may have been getting worse, but their makeup sex has been getting better and hotter so everything’s all balanced out.

Alaska purses her lips thoughtfully as she draws her gaze down to her left wrist, the words “Oh, sorry.” marked on her skin sending a familiar flutter inside her chest. Whenever she’s having doubts about the two of them, all she has to do is look down on her wrist and it immediately reminds her of how they met. As Justin, he had moved to Los Angeles at the time in an attempt to become an actor, but luck wasn’t in the mood to hand over a clear path to his dream.

But then on his way to an audition, he ended up running into a handsome blond stranger whose arms were completely occupied with large rolls of fabric. The sidewalk was just a mess of colorful materials and nobody even bothered to help them up.

“Oh, sorry!” Were the first words Aaron Coady— Sharon Needles— had uttered to him.

As someone with a very vague soulmark, Justin would have shrugged it off. He couldn’t keep up with the number of times he had misinterpreted who his soulmate was. But somehow, that particular encounter was different. Just from the very first time he laid his eyes on Aaron, he was already enraptured. Aaron is someone who could pull off that boyish dorky look Justin always likes and after hearing those words slip past his lips, there’s no doubt in mind that Aaron is his soulmate.

They dated, and Aaron eventually admitted that he had his soulmark removed when he was eighteen. But according to him, having it removed was completely pointless when the words that previously scarred his skin were the exact first words Justin had said to him.

Unfortunately, Justin couldn’t even remember what he had said but deemed it rude and unromantic to ask what those words were. He didn’t have to ask anyway when their feelings for each other totally make sense.

“Earth to Alaska.” With several owlish blinks, Alaska returns to reality upon feeling Sharon pulling her closer by the waist from the side. Sharon gives the blonde queen a light kiss on the cheek, careful not to smear her black lipstick on her skin, before brushing the stray hair away from her face. “You okay? You’re zoning out again.”

Alaska feigns another smile, her gaze dipping to a flirty tone as she faces her boyfriend. The dorky bespectacled Aaron is completely non-existent under the dark spooky guise of Sharon Needles. “Just thinking about how lucky I am to be so in love with you.”

Sharon laughs and somehow, the sound of it is enough to make Alaska feel a little better. “Want a straw with that, you little suck-up?”

“From what I’ve gathered, you’re the one who will be doing all the sucking.”

Sharon gives her a toothy grin and Alaska swears she could have melted in her arms right then and there. Sharon leans in and whispers to her, her words ghosting over Alaska’s red-coated lips. “Let’s give those bastards a show they can’t forget.”

Remembering the performance they have to do, Alaska fights back the will to falter her smile. “Yeah… let’s do that.”

Sharon grins and gives her a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away immediately just as soon as a member of the staff came in to cue them. Alaska breathes in, pours herself another shot of vodka, and downs it in.

–

Where the hell is Bri?

Brian worries his bottom lip as he takes a gander of his surroundings under the dim purple light, the music pounding in his ears and his anxiety level rising up every time he thinks someone is about to approach him. He doesn’t normally mind a huge crowd but that’s only when he’s with a friend or two. Being alone is a different story. He’s been sitting by the bar alone for almost twenty minutes now and he still couldn’t find Bri anywhere.

He earlier tried to focus on the drag queen performing on stage but the performance isn’t very eye-catching. The artist is far too intoxicated to even lipsync the song “Baby One More Time” right and keeps stumbling on her steps. The performance is just a humiliating mess overall and Brian couldn’t bear to watch anymore without pitying the queen. Hopefully, this isn’t the performance Bri has been so damn excited about all day.

“You come around here often?”

Brian jumps in his seat and clinches his jaw as he turns to find the devil himself grinning at him from ear to ear.

“Bri!” The blond acknowledges him with a dramatic sigh of relief. “Bitch, I was this close to leaving. What took you so long?”

“Uh, do you even know me?” Bri cocks his head at him in obvious disbelief before finally enthroning himself down on the bar stool beside him. “I’m like totally worth waiting for. It takes a lot of time to look the way I do right now.”

Brian eyes his friend’s outfit from head to toe. “A plaid shirt and worn out jeans? Are you here to chop wood?”

“Unless you’re Miranda Priestly or my mom, spare me the lecture.” Bri waves his hand dismissively in the air. “So how are you liking LA so far?”

Brian opens his mouth to respond but stops right away when he realizes Bri is still a bit too preoccupied in ordering his drink despite the question he had just shot to his direction. Well, he is worth waiting for so he waits. Once Bri has turned back to him with a patient smile, Brian finally speaks up.

“It’s not bad. The apartment is smaller than my old one but I guess it just takes time to get used to.”

“Yeah, you’ll earn more tips performing here than you did in Boston.” Bri points out with a shrug. “Just don’t worry too much. You’ll afford a bigger apartment in no time.”

Realistically, it can’t be that easy but that’s what Brian likes about his friend. He can be quite the optimist when he needs to be and sometimes, Brian could use a little bit of optimism in his dreary life.

The familiar tune to Tainted Love by Soft Cell fills the air and Brian flinches the very second he feels Bri clutching his arm in excitement. The crowd screams and cheers as they sail forth closer to the stage for a better view. The next queen must be very favored around this area if even his friend who’s also known as the hard-to-impress Trixie Mattel gets all this hyped up just by the mere sound of the song they’re about to lipsync to.

“This is the show I’m telling you about!” Bri grins all too eagerly.

The performer enters the stage and Brian is completely taken back by how tall the queen is. Sure, she has some help from her high-heel boots but just picturing her without them still seems like she’d tower over most people. She has a long beehive blonde wig on, although the beehive part has somewhat lost its volume and has gone a bit limp as if the queen couldn’t be bothered fixing it. Strangely enough, it suits her. It matches the way she leaps into enthusiastic action, her heels hammering the stage floor.

Her makeup is dark and thick just as expected from a drag queen but Brian couldn’t understand the black paint on the tip of her nose and the whiskers drawn on her cheeks. She’s not exactly wearing any animal ears so it’s hard to tell what kind of look she’s going for here. She’s only dressed in a black sparkly bra and a dark short skirt with a bow tie around her neck.

Overall, it’s a look Brian would never see himself wearing as Katya but it’s also a look that nobody else could pull off but the blonde performer. She looks fishier than any of the queens he met.

“That’s Alaska!” Bri shouts over the music. “Alaska Thunderfuck! She’s a good friend of mine! You’ll meet her later!”

Brian doesn’t put out the effort to respond, assuming there’s no way he’d be able to say anything through the music. Surprisingly enough, another queen joins Alaska and Brian finds himself holding his breath.

The quality of this queen’s look is beyond anything Brian could ever reach. She’s dressed like the female version of Dracula. Her entire face is painted a ghoulish white which matches her white contact lenses. It almost seems like her entire look costs more time, money, and effort than Alaska’s. Everything about her is so polished from her cleanly drawn sharp widow’s peak to her thigh-high leather boots. Fake blood has been daubed over both corners of her lips, adding just the right amount of spook to it.

If most LA queens are this polished, then Brian couldn’t help but feel a little small.

“And that’s Sharon Needles!” He feels Bri give him a light nudge to the shoulder. Damn, even her name is witty. “The self-proclaimed Queen of Halloween!”

Brian isn’t surprised.

The two queens begin singing to Tainted Love instead of lipsyncing it and Brian hopes that’s not a thing in LA because he can’t sing for shit. Even their voices are very theatrical with all those natural vibratos and high notes. Although, he could tell Alaska is just making fun of herself by suddenly dropping her dainty throaty voice to a deep grating one every now and then and Brian is undoubtedly living for it. Her timing is always on point and before he knew it, he already finds himself smiling and enjoying the show.

Until the performance begins to take an unexpected turn.

Sharon slowly goes down on her knees and Alaska feigns an endearing look of confusion. Almost everyone in the audience have their phones out, recording and taking snapshots. Sharon grins at the audience then up at Alaska before reaching under the other queen’s skirt to pull down her dark lacy underwear. Brian stares at the show, bug-eyed. An almost hysterical gleam of devilry twinkles within Alaska’s eyes as she smiles at the audience and lifts her skirt up, unabashedly exposing her limp dick for everyone to see.

Sharon then proceeds to suck her off and everyone in the club goes wild.

What in the ever loving fuck.

He hears Bri screeching and laughing, his arms flailing in the air. “See, what did I tell you?! Best gender bending performance art ever!”

Brian couldn’t even take his eyes off the two. Alaska fans herself with her free hand, looking as though she’s enjoying the public show she’s giving but her limp dick gives away her obviously frazzled state. She’s big, no doubt about it. And Sharon looks so used to blowing him.

Somewhere, deep within the depths of his mind, Brian finds it hot.

But like hell is he going to admit that out loud.

Sharon eventually gets back on her feet and Alaska lets her skirt fall over her crotch as they continue the song. She steps off of her panties and tosses them to the backstage, but her fleeting disgusted scowl doesn’t go unnoticed to Brian.

–

Alaska feels sick. Her stomach twists and lurches as she walks back to the dressing room. She hurries over to her vanity desk, pours herself another shot, and downs it in before releasing a sigh and embracing the warmth that spreads all throughout her body.

“You forgot these, babe.” She looks back over her shoulder to find Sharon handing over her underwear. Alaska offers her a lackluster smile and takes the panties away from her grip to quickly put them on. She could still feel Sharon’s eyes on her and just as she expected, her boyfriend decides to speak up. “You really don’t look good. Maybe we should go home. I can just shoot Brian a message and postpone—”

“No, don’t.” Alaska cuts her off after dragging a deep intake of breath, her fingers adjusting the band of her underwear. “I can’t be the reason. I know what the other queens say about me. I don’t want Brian thinking I’m a brat too.”

“But you are.” Sharon sticks her tongue out at her in good humor, though the harmless tease just goes flying over Alaska’s head. “But I can just lie and tell him that I’m the one feeling sick.”

“Like he’d believe that.” Alaska turns her back to her to fix her makeup. “You never postpone or cancel anything unless it’s a family emergency.”

“But you’re sick.”

“I told you, it’s just a damn headache.” The blonde almost snaps, the muscles in her face tightening in frustration and impatience. Sharon goes still for a moment and Alaska immediately regrets her tone, knowing that this is something the other queen won’t be dropping anytime soon.

“Fuck, fine.” Sharon fumes with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Just don’t come crying over to me if you throw up on someone.”

Alaska slams her eyes shut and grips the edge of her desk in an attempt to control her nausea and her emotions. She’s being a brat again. And to Sharon, of all people. Something inside her chest twists in pain and she takes another deep breath. “I’m sorry.” She murmurs even though she knows an apology from her is never enough for Sharon. From the corner of her sight, she could see her boyfriend reapplying her makeup from her own desk without even so much of a glance at her direction.

“Let’s just hurry.” Sharon’s tone is stiff and uncaring, enough to further twist the tight pain in Alaska’s chest. “Brian’s waiting for us.”

After a few more minutes of freshening themselves up, the pair leave the dressing room to join the crowd of strangers in the club. Alaska easily catches Brian by the bar but before she could even have the chance to approach him or even catch his attention, she and Sharon are suddenly swarmed by their adoring fans. Brushing them off wouldn’t be the wisest thing to do no matter how dizzy she feels. The last thing she needs right now is people saying how much of a bitch she is on social media.

They stop for now to interact with their admirers. Sharon is a natural, of course. She charms everyone without even trying. Alaska, on the other hand, is just struggling to keep a smile on her face as she thanks every single one of them for the compliments they’re showering her with. But even with all the praises and flatteries that are being sent her way, she could still feel a few pairs of judgmental stares eyeing her.

She doesn’t feel comfortable.

This is what always happens whenever they go for a risky performance. She could feel everyone just staring at her, perhaps even murmuring to each other about how much of a trashy queen she must be. Never mind Sharon doing the same shit that she does because she’s Sharon fucking Needles. She’s widely known as the insanely eccentric one. But Alaska? She’s a comedy queen who just rides along with Sharon’s perspective of what art is supposed to be.

Sharon is always right after all.

One guy in particular catches her attention. He stands near the fire exit with a smile hanging on the corner of his lips, his arms crossed and his eyes trained boldly at her. Alaska tears her gaze away from him and tugs Sharon by the elbow to murmur over her ear, “I think that guy near the fire exit is staring at me. And not in a good way.”

Sharon blinks and looks up at the fire exit. Alaska can’t tell what the stranger is doing at this point and she honestly doesn’t want to know. She can’t bear to give that guy another glance when his stare is just making it harder for her to try and stay.

“No, he’s not. You’re just getting paranoid again.” Sharon debates as she shakes her head. “Come on, let’s get to Brian.” And with that, Sharon politely excuses the two of them from their fans and tries to pass through. Alaska takes her hand in hers hurriedly for the sake of not losing her in the crowd, earning a look of surprise from her boyfriend. Fortunately, Sharon squeezes her hand in reassurance and gently tugs her along through the mass of strangers.

Mustering up all the courage she could possibly have, Alaska throws a look over her shoulder and jumps when she realizes the guy is still watching her from where he stood. He even makes a show out of it by shamelessly licking his lips. She whips her gaze back at Sharon and pulls her arm almost a bit too hard. “He really is staring at me!” She hisses and Sharon’s eyes roll skyward in annoyed disbelief.

“He’s not, Lasky. Just let this go.”

“Just look!”

“I did and when I say you’re being paranoid, you really are being paranoid!”

–

“So what do you think of the show?” Bri inquires with a knowing smile.

“It was so horrendous and disturbing, I have never cum that hard since the accident, mom.” Brian crinkles his nose in feigned disgust, his words dripping with his terrible portrayal of the British accent.

“Good to know!” Bri snorts a laugh. “You haven’t seen the rest of the queens yet though. They’re all batshit crazy. I mean, Sharon and Alaska are pretty much the craziest ones here in my personal opinion but there are some insane ones too. The crazier and funnier you are, the more people will tip you.”

“Oh my god, is this why you’ve gone bankrupt?”

“Bitch, you thought!”

Brian laughs as he avoids a swat from his friend. “I can be funny onstage. And I can lipsync too. Do you think that’s good enough?”

“It’s a good start.” Bri nods. “Don’t worry. It’s not like sucking someone off onstage is a requirement here.”

“Shit, really? What a way to get my hopes up then. Okay well, I’ll just have a quick smoke outside before your friends get here.”

“Oh, so you’re going to leave me sitting here by myself like I’m back in the fourth grade?”

“Yep. Have fun.” Brian grins cheekily at his friend before standing up from his seat and grabbing his jacket. He’s taken back by how the club looks even more crowded now than before. Getting through will require too much effort, but Brian really does need a smoke before mustering up the much needed confidence to meet those two amazing performers from earlier. He trains his eyes down on the floor as he tries to barge up ahead.

Some of the people are assholes who probably think they could establish their dominance by not giving way at all while some are far too intoxicated to even know where the hell they are right now. Either way, it’s not giving him a clear path to the exit.

A dramatic yelp catches his ears and he looks up just in time to find a tall blonde woman stumbling on her steps and nearly crashing into him the second Brian tries to move past her. He catches her quickly by the arms before she could totally make a severe physical impact on him.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologizes as he helps her find her balance.

The woman brushes her hair away from her face and Brian finds his entire frame stiffening in recognition.

It’s Miss Alaska Thunderfuck herself towering over him.

And she’s even more fucking gorgeous up-close.

Sharon Needles is just right behind her, her fingers enclosed around the taller queen’s elbow. “Jesus, the alcohol is really getting in your head!”

“That’s rich coming from you. And I know what I saw!” Alaska snaps back but her tone is whinier than Sharon’s. She then directs her eyes at Brian who nearly flinches at the sudden acknowledgment. “Hey, can you tell this pussyfart that that guy is clearly checking me out?”

The words strike him right then and there.

His heart gallops away.

He stares at her, slack-mouthed.

Suddenly, he feels far too aware of the writing on his right thigh.

“So now he’s checking you out?” Sharon jumps in, successfully snatching Alaska’s attention. “I thought he was just staring at you? And not in a good way?”

“The same fucking thing!” Alaska sneers at the Queen of Halloween.

“I just can’t with you right now.”

And with that, Sharon walks off— leaving her fellow drag queen alone with Brian who is still technically a stranger to the two of them. Brian glances over at Alaska but Alaska wouldn’t even look at him, her head drooping down as she rubs her forehead. Her shoulders are trembling and a broken sob wracks her entire form.

Shit, she’s crying.

In the middle of a club.

And people are starting to stare.

“Fuck, shit, fucking fuck.” Brian curses under his breath, not entirely sure what to do and wondering how the hell he even got himself in this situation. Carefully, he reaches and pats Alaska’s bare shoulder in what he hopes is a comforting manner. “Um, hey…? Do you wanna go outside and get some fresh air? Maybe that’ll help?”

Alaska grabs his arm. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”

Goddammit.