#remade masterlist
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Head in the clouds
Iceman x Reader
The past was supposed to stay in the past, but with Goose and Maverick getting into Top Gun, it would seem that it’s repeating itself. No matter what you do, you can never escape Tom Kazansky.
[Sequel] - To be updated
♡♡♡
Chapter One - Family bonds
Chapter Two - Top Gun is calling
Chapter Three - The best pilot
Chapter Four - Miramar
Chapter Five - Iceman
Chapter Six - Wingman
Chapter Seven - Volleyball
Chapter Eight - Blue eyed boy
Chapter Nine - Not a date
Chapter Ten - Heart of glass
Chapter Eleven - Calm before the storm
Chapter Twelve - The day time stopped
Chapter Thirteen - Hand to hold
Chapter Fourteen - Maverick
Chapter Fifteen - Talk to me
Chapter Sixteen - Ice is nice
Chapter Seventeen - Graduation day
Chapter Eighteen - The mission
Chapter Nineteen - Class of '86
Epilogue
♡♡♡
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Masterlist
↳ MS stands for Mini-series; S for Series; 18+ for anything that contains mature themes; F for Fluff; A for Angst; you’ll find warnings at the start of each one-shot
☆ Drive to survive ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; Formula One Racer AU; Red Bull driver AU ☆ You belong to me ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; mobster AU; Joker/Harley vibes ☆ I know you want me ↳ [F; A]; non-idol AU; mafia AU; enemies AU; police reader AU
☆ Lust we both share ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; vampire AU; enemies to lovers AU ☆ Your desire ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; sugar daddy AU; university AU ☆ Take me to Paris... ↳ [F; A]; non-idol AU; mafia AU; single mother AU ☆ Obliviate Me ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; Harry Potter AU; lovers to enemies AU; tragic love AU ☆ Sugar on my lips ↳ [F, suggestive]: non-idol AU; university AU; sports AU; 90's romcom; enemies to lovers AU
☆ Who am I? ↭ Part 2 ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; university AU; bad boy AU; gang AU ☆ From people you know, to people you don't ↳ [A]; non-idol AU; mafia AU; lovers to exes to aqcuittances AU ☆ bf!Yunho instagram stories ↳ [F]; smau; idol AU; boyfriend AU ☆ Above the world ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; Spiderman AU, strangers to lovers AU, highschool AU ☆ Under the pretense ↳ [F, suggestive]: non-idol AU; university AU; sports AU; 90's romcom; enemies to lovers AU ☆ How beautiful you are ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; Jane Austen AU; 1770 AU; enemies to lovers AU ☆ Thousand Miles, just to get you back ↳ [A;F]; non-idol AU; Hunger Games AU; rivals to lovers!au ☆ Take your breath away ↳ [A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; Academy AU; werewolf AU; mates AU; unrequited love-ish AU
☆ Take Control ↳ [A]; non-idol AU; mafia AU; reader is a gang member
☆ Your worst mistake... ↳ [A;F]; non-idol AU; Hunger Games AU; stylist San AU & victor reader AU; forbidden love AU
☆ Grease and Oil ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; car mechanic AU; mutual pining AU ☆ Love Me Like A Rockstar ↳ [S;A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; enemies to lovers AU; university AU; rockstar AU; he fell first, but she fell harder AU ☆ Forget-me-not ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; illegal racing AU; enemies to lovers AU ☆ Love you, forever ↳ [A;F]; non-idol AU; boyfriend AU; university AU ☆ Preying on you tonight ↳ [A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; Academy AU; werewolf AU; vampire AU; enemies to lovers AU; mates AU ☆ bf!Mingi instagram stories ↳ [F]; smau; non-idol AU; boyfriend AU ☆ Cold Red Iron ↳ [18+, humour]; non-idol AU; Iron Man AU; workplace AU; enemies to something more AU ☆ Haunted me, haunting you ↳ [A;F]; non-idol AU; Hunger Games AU; victor AU; acquittances since childhood to lovers AU ☆ Your little monster ↳ [18+]; non-idol!au, mafia!au, established relationship!au, mafia reader!au, Harley Quinn x Joker inspired relationship
☆ Daemonium ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; demon AU; crack AU; dormmate AU; university AU ☆ I'll go animal to keep you next to me ↳ [A]; non-idol AU; mafia AU; stalker AU; university AU; strangers to enemies AU
☆ Shameless ↳ [18+]; non-idol AU; mafia AU; marriage of convenience AU; established relationship AU
☆ Black Ocean ↳ [S; A; F; 18+]; non-idol AU; pirate AU; siren AU ☆ bf!ateez drunk texting you while they're out with the boys ↳ [F, suggestive]; non-idol AU; smau; boyfriend AU ☆ best friend!ateez texting you about tomorrow's exam they have forgotten about ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; smau; best friend AU ☆ drunk texting bff!Ateez and accidentally confessing you're into them ↳ [nsfw]; non-idol AU, smau, best friends to lovers AU ☆ accidentally texting fwb!ateez about the hook-up ↳ [nsfw]; non-idol AU, smau, friends with benefits AU ☆ texting fiancé!ateez about their Coachella performance as you weren't able to attend it ↳ [F]; idol AU, smau, fiancé AU, Coachella AU lol ☆ Beyond the Obscure ↳ [S;A;F;18+]; non-idol AU; royal AU; assassin AU; fae AU; fantasy AU ☆ Cosmically divine ↳ [S;18+;A;F]; non-idol AU; Greek mythology AU ☆ ATEEZ as dads ↳ [F]; non-idol AU; parents AU, scenarios AU ☆ The Games ↳ [A;F;S]; non-idol AU; Hunger Games AU
☆ Devil!Hongjoong ☆ Vampire!Seonghwa ► Slow it down → Park Seonghwa ► Summer Lovin' → Jung Wooyoung ► Does he know? → Choi San ► Love made me crazy → Choi Jongho ► Sweeter than honey → Jeong Yunho ► Stern, but sweet → Choi San ► Cherry Blossoms → Song Mingi ☆ Boyfriend!Wooyoung → Jung Wooyoung
❀ join my permanent taglist here
#bvidzsoo#masterlist#cromernet#ateez#ateez ot8#ateez scenarios#ateez oneshot#ateez series#ateez smut#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez atiny#kim hongjoong#park seonghwa#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi jongho#remade it sorry y'all
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♥︎⌇MASTERLISTS
pspsps ! minors are not allowed beyond this point. all works are nsfw unless stated otherwise. some works may also contain potentially triggering content. my general dark content tag is #!holic — feel free to block and filter out any other tags as you see fit. other than that, please read warnings carefully before proceeding ♡
♥︎⌇ JUJUTSU KAISEN
♥︎⌇ HAIKYUU
♥︎⌇ WIND BREAKER
♥︎⌇ GENSHIN IMPACT
♥︎⌇ OTHERS
♥︎⌇ UPCOMING
♥︎⌇ COLLAB & EVENT MASTERLISTS
⟢ OMEGVERSE COLLAB ┆ status. closed ♡
⟢ KINKTOBER 2024 ┆ status. ongoing ♡
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🌺 Masterlist 🌺
status: requests closed please read my rules before requesting something disclaimer: this is mostly a smut blog, but I will sometimes write fluff as well ♥ if you’re a minor and/or don’t want to see mature content please proceed with caution!! if you like my work, consider a reblog, a comment, sending me an ask about it, or if you can afford it buying me a coffee! 💕
groups I write for:
🌺 Aespa 🌺 🌺 Billlie 🌺 🌺 Dreamcatcher 🌺 🌺 (G)I-dle 🌺 🌺 Itzy 🌺 🌺 Le Sserafim 🌺 🌺 Purple Kiss 🌺 🌺 Stayc 🌺 🌺 Twice 🌺
🌺 Soloists 🌺
upcoming works: (this section is mostly for times where I write a lot - not everything I post goes here first~)
n/a
prompt lists you can always request from:
Compilation of smut prompts
Inexperienced smut prompts
Kink Prompt List
Soft Smut Prompts
multi-group masterlists & events:
First Times Event (& planning)
Kinkmas 2023
ficrecs
my anons
all stories originally posted on this blog belong to me; please do not repost or translate without permission
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Looney Tunes RP Masterlist
Reblog this post and add in the tags
your URL
if you’re a single muse or a multimuse
if they're canon or an OC
from which show they're from
your muse’s name
EXAMPLE: scrunklyrpblog, single muse, animal crossing verse, Scrunkly the Mighty
to be added in the list!
NOTE: if you have a multimuse blog, write as many muses as you have; if you’d like, feel free to give your muse a “title” to describe them!
Characters in alphabetical order can be found HERE
#remade bc i accidentally deleted the og nfdmsg#looney tunes#looney tunes rp#cartoon rp#masterlist#rp masterlist
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JESTERSYSTEM INTRO POST
(Format stolen from our alt blog, @endopropaganda)
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Basics ࿐ྂ
Hello! This is my tumblr account where I will post honestly whatever
This is also going to be used as a generalized system organization blog with introductions for everyone
This is the only social media of mine where I am open about being a system/having D.I.D and will post information about my system.
Please note I alternate between referring to myself as we/us and i/me in my posts, posts regarding the system will use we/us and posts regarding myself (Or someone else in the system referring to themself) will use I/Me
Feel free to send asks about our system, system members, and hosts, we don't mind!
I run 3 other blogs, @endopropaganda, @simplypluralooc, and @theacerasmp
You can find more info on my Carrd
Masterlists, System Information, Boundaries, Etc are below
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ AU Masterlist(s) ࿐ྂ
Grimdark Au
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ System info ࿐ྂ
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Yes, we formed from trauma. Because that is how a system forms.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Currently 6 hosts and regrettably (as far as I am aware) 113 members
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Yes, the member count makes me uncomfy. Yes, the system makes me uncomfy. Yes, having a disorder makes me UNCOMFY, which is why this is the only place I(we) openly talk about it
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ You can dm me for my SimplyPlural as long as you are not endo or pro endo
______________________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ DNI ࿐ྂ
Friendly reminder that DNI can be for any reason, including trauma
★ Endos/pro endos/Tulpas/Non traumagenics
★ Anyone who romanticizes disorders
★ Conflicting Labels/Pro Conflicting Labels /TransID
★ Fakeclaimers, Science deniers, mental Illness deniers, Etc
★ Folks who fetishize disorders and trauma
★ Neon!zis, "MAPS", "SuperStraights" (basic dni)
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ OK2INT ࿐ྂ
★ Anti endos
★ Traumagenic Systems
★ LGBT+ / Allies
★ Other Anti-Endo accounts
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ NEUTRAL ࿐ྂ
★ Singlets (Non systems)
(Why would I care this isn't a syscourse blog)
★ Furries
(I AM a furry)
______________________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ EXTRA /INFO࿐ྂ
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ We will not be answering asks about our DNI, either follow it or don't.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ We will block anything we deem as a hate ask. This is to protect our blog from being reposted by pro endos/syscourse blogs.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ We do not consent to any defamatory reposting of this blog without proper censorship of it's name.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Please do not compare me to Ranboo. Yes, I know we look similar, no, it was not intentional.
______________________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
☁️ . . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Alter links/tags ࿐ྂ
Host list
Groups wip
______________________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
sysboxes by @sysboxes @sovereignsystem @syspport @antiendosysboxes and me
#endos dni#system#endos fuck off#endos do not interact#anti endo#intro post#new intro post#revamped intro#remade intro#masterlist included#twitch streamer#streamer#syspunk streamer#syspunk#fictive#pinned intro#anti willowgenic#anti tulpa#tulpas dni#mixed origin dni#median dni
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Odd One Out pt 2
Summary - After 500 years of friendship, the last thing you ever expected was the Inner Circle to miss one of your symphonies. But you know what they say, time changes people.
Warnings - 10 year time jump, groveling, Fluff, reader forgives Azriel, loosely edited (Liz will fix and check for mistakes she and her friend missed with fresh eyes 💕)
A/N - forgive the name picked for Kal and Vivienne's daughter. So many of you are playing with Disney princess themes I couldn't shake it.
Odd One Out pt 1
✨️ Azriel Masterlist ✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️
Dawn was beautiful. In the past 10 years, as you had toured the Realm performing, you had realized that quickly. Every court always brought you back to Dawn. Every High Lord brought you back to Thesan. Thesan had allowed you to build home here, welcoming you and your talent with open arms, and tonight was a true testimony of his love for you and your music as he paid you a high honor.
Thesan had spent the day hosting the quarterly High Lord's Meeting, and tonight, his gift of relaxation to the other High Lords was you, your orchestra, and a night of candle lit music, champagne, and food.
You smoothed out the dress Thesan had commissioned for you tonight. An off the shoulder tulle number with long sleeves. It was soft and buttery, flowing with every step. The top hugged you perfectly, and two long slits sat on each leg, exposing them and the heels you were wearing. The fabric was a soft white color, a stark opposite to your conducting gowns in the Night Court. Jewels were sewn into the fabric, dripping down your body like you had been wrapped and bathed in starlight. The only sign of your home was that star-like glow and the earrings Azriel had bought you many years ago. The rough diamonds set in rose gold had backs that dropped on delicate chains with another diamond sitting at the bottom. “something delicate for my gentle girl,” he had whispered that sentence to you, letting it sink into your skin and mind.
How odd it truly felt to compare that moment to when Azriel sat there in silence as Elain lashed out against all you had built, all your hard work, studying, you're very being.
You took a deep breath, silencing your nerves as the theater went quiet. Dinner had been served, drinks flowing left and right, and now it was time. You watched as you musicians took their places, sitting and preparing themselves as well. Most had followed you from Night, and last you tragically heard, the Rainbow had grown silent in your absence. The new musicians ranged from every court, every walk of life. You smiled fondly at what you had remade, at their outfits so finely crafted of black fabric and silks.
Thesan took the stage next, doing something Rhysand never had, “High Lords and Ladies, faithful emissaries, friends. After a long day of tense negotiations, words said in anger and frustration, and Rhysand's horrible father jokes,” a loud “hey” came from the audience making you laugh softly, “I could not think of a more enchanting way to end our night. A decade ago, a talented female came to me, offering to exchange a week of shelter and security for her playing music nightly for my court.”
Thesan looked so softly towards you, “An offer many of you would go in to receive as well as she traveled our lands studying our music and history. Her talent had touched my fae and myself so deeply that when the time for her to make a home base came, I was honored when she approached me and built this theater to her exact wants and needs.”
He continued after a long breath, “Tonight is her first performance and opening night. I felt it would be wrong for anyone besides all of us to see her newest pieces first. Pieces inspired by every court, by all of our stories, of our fae’s stories. She wrote a collection of 7 songs, for us, about us.”
Silence refell over the room, a quiet appreciation for what they were about to see. “Without further ado, y/n.”
Clapping began as the faelights turned off, and candles took their place, glowing and reflecting off your gown. You bowed gracefully before turning and raising your hands as soon as Thesan took his seat. You began the concert in Tamlin's court, playing a piece inspired by his own love of music and the sounds of a spring storm. The music rose before a gentle fall where everything became more gentle as if it was quiet after a hard rain. You couldn't see as Briar took his hand at the swell, the soft moment where the violin went from the jig of a fiddle to the formality was a reflection of the moment Tamlin's dreams were lost to him, but new dreams began.
Summer was a symphony to the magic of bioluminescence. The sound was heavily inspired by the night of laughter and fun you had watched Varian and Amren enjoy. It had been the ancient female's first time seeing the ocean turn to waves of stars, and Varian had hired you to play for them that night. She cried as a familiar harp solo came, one that she had turned to Varian on one knee as you played it.
Autumn was the sound of battle and passion. Eris's rise as high lord was captured in every note, every building drum. The high lord openly smiled during the peak. The moment where drums of war faded to the sounds of peace. The sound of peace after war was shown through a soft wood flute playing. An instrument that was born in Autumn's halls.
Winter had been the most unique to compose. Kallias and Vivienne's story was so well known, but their daughter, their darling Elsa, the 10 year old princess, was an unknown and protected factor. You took a deep breath before beginning this piece and looked to the white-haired girl, “For you,” you said softly to her bright grin. Elsa had written on sheet music for you during your stay there, lyrics to accompany the notes on your page, you held out your hand, welcoming your only singer for the night. The song was a desperate plea, a singer begging to be noticed for who she was, for her talent to be noticed before her beauty. You had picked the singer based on how young and fragile her voice sounded, the way it truly felt like a cry as she begged to be looked at for who she was.
Dawn's turn came and the music felt like taking flight, it encompassed the thrill of the air, of an early morning sunrise adventure. The piece left you breathless due to the amount of movements it took. It was intricately layered and as lively as Thesan's court while maintaining an air of class.
The Day Court was music of love and sex. Tender moments mixed with playful notes and chords that screamed sensuality. The tone was overall seduction, but moments of tenderness came through as well. It was a tribute to the biggest flirt you knew. The biggest flirt who became the most faithful husband.
You were left with one court. You turned to begin your thank you and took a deep breath, “Over the past several years, you all have welcomed me into your courts and homes with open arms. You allowed me to study the music of your homes, your culture, and learn to play them to perfection. For that, I will always be grateful and so humbled by the generosity and kindness shown to me.”
You took a deep breath, stilling the last of your nerves. “My story begins in Night, though. My childhood began a long friendship between myself and someone who pushed me towards my dreams. This last song is dedicated to him.”
Azriel heard as Rhysand held his breath. He watched as his brother laced his fingers with Feyre. Feyre began to cry immediately. Of all the songs you composed, this one held the most strings, a clear call to Rhysand and your humble beginnings in the streets of the Rainbow playing. Azriel watched you in awe.
You turned and a voice you had heard countless times played through magic. It was the moment they had met and a soft purr of, “There you are. I've been looking for you," echoed before the music began.
10 years, 10 years without even so much as a whisper or note. He watched you move with grace, watched as a violin sang softly. The tune was a call to the Inner Circle, and before Azriel could stop them, his shadows began to dance.
Every movement of your arms and body was like watching liquid starlight sparkle and gleam to the fantasy inducing tune you had created. As your hands fell to indicate the end, Azriel felt his heart stopping.
It was the bond that drew him to you.
It was the years of friendship, of quiet nights listening to you play for just him, or long hours with you hands over his, so soft and warm, teaching him to play piano.
It was the fact that he was in love with you. And he realized he had been for a very long time.
Kind, talented, beautiful, you.
He watched as you wiped a few quick tears as you and Rhysand held eye contact. He felt his breath hitch as you bowed during your queue before walking out.
The orchestra played a familiar tune as everyone stood to leave and feyre began to cry. You had played this song during Feyre's first Starfall, hoping the romantic tune would have been enough to make the high lord and his mate kiss. It became a song they begged you to play every second they could. Rhysand held Feyre while looking at Azriel.
“Get. Her. Back.”
You did not attend the after party. Seeing the Inner Circle had been too much. You had hoped that after all these years, that pain would be gone. You leaned against your balcony, humming a new tune you wanted to write. A shadow caressed your skin as you moved inside and sat at your harp. “I know you want me to play your song.” The shadow swirled and began to dance as you plucked the taunt strings.
“You spoil them.” Your breath hitched at that familiar voice. “Don't stop,” Azriel sat down in the corner of the room. “They've missed dancing for you.”
You let out a shaking breath and began again, watching with a soft smile as the shadows weaved and played. The sight always memorized you. They always memorized you. These beautiful shadows were more like children than darkness. Each had a personality, a voice, a preference in instrument. You finished and lowered your hands.
“Elain is probably wondering where you are.”
Azriel rose a brow, “Elain and Lucien are on their honeymoon, sailing the world.”
You knit your brows. “I'm sorry. I know you loved her.”
“Not the way I love you.” Silence fell over the room, “I have loved you for so long and been blind to it. I will never get back the time I wasted in my stupidity. I will never be able to take back the hurt Elain caused you.”
You went to open your mouth and speak, “No. I want you just to listen to me, y/n.” You nodded and looked at him. “I love you,” he stated it like a finality. “The bond snapped for me the night you left, but in your absence, I have realized I loved you long before that blessing and that I would love you long after.”
He paused and continued, “I was silent when Elain spoke to you because I was in shock, but that isn't a good enough excuse. She hurt you, and I stayed silent. I will never forgive myself for that, so I do not expect you to. I'm not even worthy of asking you for a chance to make things right, but I am here as a desperate male. A male who wants nothing more than his mate, his love.”
“Azriel-”
“Listen,” he moved to you, getting in his knees before you and taking you hands in his. He placed one on his face and smiled. “I dream of this gentle hands, of the joy they bring. I dream of you. Of your love and light. Your heart. When I sleep, I pretend I can hear your heart dancing for me, luring me like a siren spell.”
Your bottom lip trembled and a tear fell, his love for you poured down that neglected bond, warming every inch of your being. “Azriel..”
“Y/n, I am so sorry I wasted so much of your time, of our time.”
You threw your arms around him, holding him tight as he continued. “I beg you to allow me to try to make this right. To show you how special you are to me, to our home, to our family. I am begging you for just a chance.”
His words left like a healing and soothing balm on unseen wounds. “Our family is at a party just below you. Waiting for me to either come back with you or to mourn the loss of you forever. Tell me what I am doing. If I have failed us.”
The party was in full swing as Rhysand watched Nyx and Feyre dance. He held his empty whiskey glass, debating on another one when perfectly manicured hands grabbed his empty glass and placed a full one in his grasp. He grabbed that soft hand instantly, “y/n darling.”
“Rhysand,” He turned and kissed your palm, violet eyes on yours. You continued the greeting softly. “Your presence makes my mind sing the most beautiful song.”
Rhysand held back tears as he answered, “And my heart longs to hear you play it.” He nuzzled your hand. “Come home to us.”
You sighed happily as Azriel rested his hand on your back, “I believe we can negotiate that."
General Taglist:
@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp
Odd One Out Taglist:
@gabbiskylar01 @whyonearthisyourusernamethi-blog @blacktreacle22 @buttermilktea11 @heartless-tate @nerdy4itall @eep500 @tele86 @cleverzonkwombatsludge
#Spotify#acotar#acotar x reader#azriel acotar#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel fluff#azriel fic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel fanfic#acotar fanfiction
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Fix it yourself
James Potter x Bsf!Slytherin!Reader - Sirius Black x BrothersBsf!Slytherin!Reader (endgame)
Best Friend by Rex Orange County
Masterlist
Wc- 12011
Summary: Falling in love with James Potter was a whirlwind affair full of lies and heartbreak. Everything comes to a head when he asks you to fake date someone so Lily will give him a chance.
Cw; Cussing, Manipulation, James is such an arse (I love him don't come for me), self indulgent, themes of abuse and abandonment, sexual content and scenes, Jealous James being rude, Protective Sirius, Substance use, Reader had her things destroyed, dad gets sick, nudity, {let me know if I forgot anything!}
Taglist- @otterlockholmes
A/N: Shout out to @our-sweet-t-universe, this would not of been a smidge of happy in this fic if it wasn't for you. Next post will be part two to zombies and then two requests!
An endless cycle of churning.
That was what your dad called it. You and James’s push and pull of affections to hatred.
When you were younger, you could never imagine a life without James Fleamont Potter. He was your favorite person since you could remember names. Your father was an apothecary, business partners turned close friends with Fleamont Potter, or as you called him since you could speak, “Uncle Flea.”
Your father traveled for his work, always researching better ingredients and replacements, selling his remade patents of popular potions back to the creators in exchange to sell their potions and the ingredients. Your father was a clever businessman, a proud Slytherin in his school years. Fleamont would joke, every Potter had their Slytherin. Let that be romantic, as his mother and father, or platonic like him and your father.
James was still ever the dramatic, determined to believe he would never need his Slytherin, he didn't want a Slytherin. He had you, that was all he needed.
Oblivious and fiesty you would agree with anything he said to keep the ever confident boy talking. His voice was your favorite part of James Potter, which worked wonders with your ever quiet disposition.
“I don't need a Slytherin! I have {Y/n}!” James would fuss when the teasing began. “She's cooler then any green robe!”
“Yeah! I'm cooler than any green robe!” You would snap out of whatever day dream you were having as you played with your fathers miniature carvings he would make you in his travels. He always brought you one back, with a moving photo of him in some fantastical place posing with them.
Your father would smile knowingly at Fleamont, as Euphemia called you into the kitchen to help set the table, as was a part of your nightly routine. James pouted after you as he was left alone with the dads.
While your father traveled more, you spent more time with the Potters. Back then, you were always so sad about it, watching the window and waiting longingly for your father to return.
Around your older years, seven to eight, you finally learned to appreciate what they did for you. It's not that you ever showed you were ungrateful, your father had just always been your favorite person. Being away from him felt so much longer than it was.
You spent most of your time running around the large property and making it your own with James. You would carve path marks into trees and divide your territory. You would wage war and swim in the creek.
One summer, Fleamont even helped you build a treehouse. A treehouse you guys never used after that after that, outside of a hiding place for things you most certainly shouldn't have. That, and the ever growing collection of your father’s wood carvings, all on top of a silver padlock box with your father’s photos.
“These are for you and James to play with.”
He always made sure you knew that. Even if James was never particularly fond of them, he loved the stories your father returned with about them. So fond, in fact, that he kept a particular carving of a dragon when your dad told you both about the time he was attacked by one. Painted it and all, the only figurine not in the treehouse, Grandos.
The first time James exited your life was your ninth birthday. You were at the Potters again over the summer, when your aunt suddenly came to pick you up in the middle of a cold rainy night. Suddenly you were awoken from your fort on the couch with James, both of you snuggled under a mountain of blankets. Euphemia continued to come back and tuck you in.
It was quick and the adults seemed panicked. When you made it home you found your father bedridden, with dragonpox.
You spent that entire summer into the fall spending time with him. Your auntie gifted you a muggle toy, a two way radio. She set one up to always be on for your father. You would walk around the house with yours, turning it on to say something to your father just to listen to him cough and wheeze, the only sign he was still breathing.
James would send you letters but you never got to reading them. Just staying home and wandering the house. Your young mind finding paintings your father had hung himself to tell him about, reminding him what it was like in the kitchen, the silliest things to remind your father you were still there.
Everyday. Everynight.
Eventually, your father got better, and he summoned the Potters to Diagon Alley for a bite to eat. It was the first time you had seen James in three months. For two eight year olds, that seemed like forever ago.
James pouted through dinner, then the walk around the park. Every attempt to talk to him was met with loud sniffling and sobs for you to leave him alone. The Potter parents would wince at the interactions, eventually ending up with two blubbering children, both crying because they wanted to be friends again.
“You ignored me!” James shouted, making a scene.
“I was spending time with my da!” You would fuss back, fists clenched and your foot stamping.
“I thought you hated me!” He blubbered back and you began to sob louder. “I-I woke up and you were gone!”
“Why are you crying so hard, Niffler?” Your father would coo, not the least bit bothered by the prying eyes around the public place.
“Because Jamie thinks I hate him!” You shouted out, turning to your father and dragging your fists over your swollen eyes.
“Do you hate little Jamie?” He pushed and James sobbed louder at the question.
“No! I love Jamie!” You sobbed out and James gave a louder wail.
“I love you too!”
“Then forgive me!”
“Okay!”
Like that, you were once again spending every waking moment with the chocolate haired boy. That summer your father was cleared to work, and he never turned down the chance.
You went back to the Potters and spent the time you had with James like you never stopped being friends. Running through the forest, jumping in the creek, and now, James found a passion for listening to you read before bed.
When you both got your Hogwarts letters, you both demanded to be the first to get your wands. So, before August even came, you and James shared the most special moments of your childhood. Getting your wand from Olivander and getting your very own owl from Eeylops.
James ended up with a snowy owl he named Snow. You thought it was the most clever thing in the world, his parents just smiled knowingly at each other. You got a barn owl you named an equally clever name. Barn.
Thinking back on it, they should have never let you leave that store with that poor owl.
You gave James a lot of your favorite memories to cherish. He kept them the second time you stopped talking.
That was, when you both made it to Hogwarts. You walked into the grand hall holding hands, laughing about some stupid joke he made that was certainly not worth a laugh. You loved to feed his ego, his mother would say. You would just agree.
“His ego is never starved.” She would smirk and you would simply shrug with a cheeky grin.
“But it could always eat.”
You left the grand hall in tears and a green robe. He was already far ahead of you, in his own red robes, acting as if those eleven years of friendship were nothing to him. Much to your dismay, you didn't have your father to come save you this time, tell you his wise words and share his bit of wisdom for you to find your way through the pain.
There was no comfort found in the snakes den. Your dorm was shared with girls who seemed to have no other concerns then your blood status. You were a pureblood, of course, but their questions only caused you further distress. That night you cried silently into your pillow.
That night, and the next, and the next.
Eventually, you learned to cope to the cold dungeons. You became calm and emotionless, like the others. Learning to adapt to your surroundings.
James’s mutters of who you really were hurt more then you could ever imagine. You loved James Potter before you knew what love was. You were sure whatever yearning was in your chest went both ways. You guess you were wrong.
He made new friends, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. He wanted nothing to do with you.
So, you made friends as well. Cruel ones but ones who would protect you. Avery, Mulciber. Severus Snape was the only one you stayed consistently close to. You disliked Lily Evans, for no reason other than the fact she was everything you wanted to be. Gryffindor, smart, pretty, and had James’s attention. You hated watching him outgrow you, and Severus didn't particularly like that you didn't like Lily, but he hated James Potter so you both remained in an isolated boat of similarity.
As the year went on you grew to hate your colors more then anything. You learned that no matter what had happened, Slytherin was at fault. No matter your justification, you were wrong. Keeping your head down and remaining quiet was the safest you'd have it.
When the year came to an end, you went home. You told your father of the more recent events and he was mortified. You found solas in his arms as you always did. Being home was like a time out, protection from everything else around you. You were alone and happy. Safe and as far away from James Potter as possible.
But that made the yearning worse.
Your father tried to convince you to write him a letter for closure, but you could never pick up a quill. You don't want to know the vile things he thought of you.
Much to your surprise, however, your father called you down a week into your summer break. At the door, none other then James Potter. He was sniffling, clenching the dragon statue in his hands and rubbing his eyes. Your father left you two be, and you welcomed him in.
Of course you did.
It was your Jamie.
The second he entered he told you about how woes, how his concerns for Sirius, his dear friend, his best friend, made him appreciate what he had a bit more. It also forced him to realize, he was doing the same to you. The isolation over a house was never fair. He felt like a right arse.
“So you don't hate me?” You sniffled.
James shook his head vigorously. “No, no, I'm sorry, {Y/N}.” He sobbed and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
He held you back tight, and nuzzled his nose into your cheek. “Forgive me?”
“Okay.” Your voice cracked.
You shouldn't have forgiven him, because it became a pattern. The summer you were back to as thick as thieves, you had never seen Mrs. Potter more relived then when you returned to their home.
But when school started again, he went back to practically no contact. It was your James, though. You needed him.
Over the years you went from best friends over the summer to semi strangers in the halls. Everytime he'd come to your door with a bright smile and take you to his house. Even your fathers relationship with Fleamont began to grew strained because of the behavior. You were so hurt, all the time, but James would fix it.
James would know what to say and when to say it. James, never having a malicious bone in his body, didn't seem to understand what he was doing to you. You didn't know either.
By the time year three rolled around, the four of them seemed to tamper down their hatred for Slytherins, focusing purely on the ones they deemed evil. Even letting you into their groups on occasion. You clung to what little James would give you everytime. You ignored your jealousy of Sirius and James' closeness. You ignored Remus’s pitiful looks and Peter's tactless comments.
However, you had began to grow into yourself a bit more over the school year. You had more time to yourself, more time away from James. You met a few new people, one being a girl named Pandora.
She observed you every time you were with James, would utter small comments here and there about what she found in the blandest monotone. It was tough love she didn't even intend. You quickly realized that the friendship you shared with James went from two friends who would rather die then be apart, to two people.
You were just people.
~~~~
That summer, when James came over to retrieve you, you made that clear.
“Well, it was nice seeing you, Potter.” You started with a soft smile in your doorway. He flinched at the formal name.
“What? You're not coming home?” He asked in a low heartbroken whisper. “My mum wants to see you.”
“I am home. I'll ask da if he plans to have you over for dinner.” You placate and look back to the proud but sympathetic look on your dads face from where he hid behind the door. As always, right there. “I'll see you later?”
“But- I- we don't get to hang out over the school year, I just figured-”
“Thank you again for the invite. Maybe some other time.”
When fourth year comes around you and James remain friendly in the halls. It was like the entire lives you had led before Hogwarts and over the summers were just secrets between the two of you now.
You spent more time with Severus, Dorcas, Pandora, Barty, and Regulus. That made Sirius oddly formal and kind to you as well, you expected the opposite.
It led to a small bit of bonding between the two of you, he would ask you about updates on Regulus and thank you like mad for you looking after the younger boy.
James didn't like how close you two were becoming outside of him. Everyday, you would meet Sirius outside of the library and he would walk you to the dungeons while you talked about his brother and the state of his mind, how he viewed what was happening in the household.
Your conversations would slowly trickle into your day to day life and Sirius would tell you of his. James noticed when Sirius began to get to the dorms later and later.
James would find it in himself to pester, if he wasn't so wrapped around Lily Evans’ finger. You knew it was unfair. You knew from the stories from Pandora, that if you just got to know her, you'd adore her. She was funny, brilliant, brave, kind, and she was enough woman to have James Potter, Severus Snape, and after a small listless confession, Pandora of all people in love.
You hated her, however. You couldn't bring yourself to like someone you wanted to be in the shoes of so badly.
~~~~
Over the summer, you learned Sirius Black had gone to live with the Potters after a particularly rough patch with his parents. With a quick letter to Regulus to gauge his view on the situation, you decided to check on eldest Black. You weren't insanely close with James anymore, but you still invited yourself over.
When the door opened after your knock you were yanked into a bone crushing hug by Fleamont, followed by Euphemia. They welcomed you in with open arms, like they always did. You greeted James with nothing more than a kind smile and walked right past him to go check on Sirius.
James stood in the middle of the hall, confused by your lack of enthusiasm to see him. Knowing the second you made it to the stairs, you were not here for him. A bitter feeling filled his chest.
You didn't know you were breaking the dumb boy's heart. He didn't know it either, but the look his mother gave him when you hurried up the steps said it all.
James had missed you. He had missed you more than life itself. He spent his summers moping in the treehouse you both never went in, fiddling with the things you never should have had. He felt like he was missing a part of himself every time you learned to put your self preservation above his desperate need for you.
But things don't work out perfectly, something the ever spoiled James Potter didn't understand.
He snapped out of his little daze and ran upstairs after you.
You were sitting on the bed in the spare room, hip to hip with the pouty and tired Sirius. He seemed to be rambling on some flirty nonsense that had James growing a bit red.
“You know bird,” Sirius started and you scoffed.
“Don't call me bird.” You reprimanded and he gave you a cheeky smile, his swollen eye just adding to his sloppy charm.
“Birdette?” He offered.
“I'm going home. May your tea be too hot to drink and too cold when you return to it.” You mused and moved to stand before Black grabbed your wrist and nudged you down.
“Cruel witch!” He shouted and you put your hand on his chest, both laughing like fools. James' expression turned tart. You used to laugh with him like that. When you both settled you brush some hair from his face to behind his ear. His lochs clung to his face through the sweat.
“Are you sure you're alright?” You hummed and he nodded, pressing his burning and trembling temple to your cold hand and you thinned your lips.
“Fever has gone down. Mum will be pleased.” You hummed and Sirius gave you a confused look before it clicked to him who you were talking about. You knew her since before you could walk, of course you would consider her your mother. He spotted James in the doorway and noticed the small smile on the teens face when you spoke familiar of his mother.
Sirius knew, how couldn't he? Since year one the only person James seemed to talk about was you. Even when he was pretending to hate you, it was always about you. He could see the way you looked at James too, it was so painfully obvious. Even after all the years of borderline manipulation, something Sirius would grow bitter of if he thought too long about it.
“I should head home.” You hummed and grabbed the discarded rag on the nightstand to clean off some sweat around Sirius’s cheek and neck, doting on your friend much like you did for James.
“No!”
“No, please!”
Both boys shouted together. You jumped and turned to face James, not noticing he had been watching the entire interaction.
You bit your cheek and fiddled with the rag for a moment before you sighed. It was hard enough to say no to James, but a sick Sirius?
You caved.
You spent the summer at the Potter’s again, something your father was cautious of. You were older now, and so was James, you just managed to escape the ‘safe sex’ talk when you went back with James to gather spare clothes, the only thing left at James was from before puberty.
It made you a bit aware that James had grown up. He had always been taller than you, but now he was broader, more defined. Merlin, the boy you grew up with was knee weakening.
The summer was amazing. It was a delight, being around both of them so casually.
Being older now, your fun consisted of much more mature activities. They started innocent, like taking walks around the property where you and James reminisced, sharing your favorite memories of the place with Sirius. Your afternoons baking with Euphemia now shared with the boys who didn't seem to have anything better to waste their time on. Even swimming in the creek like kids.
But you were older now. Afternoon swimming turned into late night skinny dipping. Walks along the trail turned into hiding away in your tree fort, hardly big enough for all three of you and the things you hid away. Smoking Mallowsweet and trying to pretend you weren't high at the dinner table. Not that either parent seemed to mind, just happy you were doing it in a safe environment. They let you three believe you were sneaky however, knowing the thrill is the fun part.
A few days out from going back to school you and the two boys were sitting in the fort again. You took a drag from the messy blunt and passed it to Sirius. You took notice of how he watched the smoke leave your lips. You sent him a playful wink and he wet his lips.
You both turned back to James as he let out a low groan. The attention whore he was not liking how you two continued to share moments he was not apart of.
“What is it, Jamie?” You pushed and he ran his fingers through his hair. “I got word from Evans. Said she would stop reading my letters. Says she thinks I'm in love with someone already.” He huffed.
You rolled your eyes and looked at Sirius who put his hands up to show he would handle it. “Come on mate, she clearly doesn't want ya’ move on.”
You almost face palmed at how Sirius tried to handle it. You cut in when James gave a louder groan. “I know it's not what you want to hear, but some girls just.. aren't going to cave the more you bother them, Jamie.”
“I just don't get it! I'm charming, I'm funny, I'm bloody hot.”
You rolled your eyes hard and made eye contact with a smirking Sirius. “You know he gets this from you, right?”
He chuckled and you slowly smiled at his look. James seemed to grow even more upset when your attention was on Sirius and not him.
“Come off it, mate.” Sirius laughed. “She hasn’t even seen you date one person at that school.”
“That is true. I don't think I would date someone if I didn't have an idea of what it was like.” You remarked airily, rapping your knuckles against your chin.
“So.. date someone to show Lily I'm dateable?” James concluded and you rubbed your temple.
“Or, and just throwing this out there, date someone who wants you?” You scoffed and James rolled his eyes with a mutter. Something along the lines of no one he wants, wants him.
You paused your rubbing before Sirius quickly cleared his throat. “You can't just date someone to impress someone else.” You cut in. “That's incredibly cruel.”
“Well-”
“Sirius, as someone who has not once had a serious girlfriend-”
“I am Sirius. All my girlfriends are Sirius girlfriends-”
You threw a book at him and he blocked it with his forearms, laughing as you huffed.
“But ser- genuinely.” You mused. “Don't go breaking anyone's heart to get her attention.”
“Well, it won't hurt anyone if I.. fake date someone?” He offered and you gave him a confused look. He slowly smiled, a smile that surely meant a bad idea.
“Jamie-”
“Hear me out! Hear me out!” He mused and sat up straighter. “One of you, date me, just for a few months! I can show her how good of a boyfriend I really am!”
You looked at Sirius with the most bewildered and offended look.
“I will not.” Sirius mused and finally put the blunt down. “Love you, but I would rather lick my own boot.”
James scoffed and looked at you hopefully. You bit your lip and thought about it for a moment, you were caving, you knew you were.
How bad could it be? Getting a slice of what you wanted more than anything. James’s full attention. Before you could answer, you heard Sirius mutter your name.
It was so soft, it was so gentle, like if he said it too loud you'd run. You looked over to him, and he gave you a look you couldn't quite decipher. Though, the implication was clear. Don’t.
You sighed through your nose and leaned your head back. Trying to sober yourself up before you continue this conversation. James wiggled his way over to you, putting his arm over your shoulder. “Come on, {Y/N}.” He whined and you thinned your lips as you stared into his big brown eyes. You could melt into them.
Your eyes, not of your own accord, flicked to Sirius and he was still staring at you. Then you realized what the look was, caution. You bit your bottom lip and didn't notice James glaring heavily at Sirius. As if warning him. Sirius's eyes never left yours.
“... Sorry Jamie.” You muttered and he huffed, pulling away from you sharply. You pouted and slowly hugged your knees. Far more valuable with your mind warped by the drugs influence.
James waved his hand dismissively and you looked down at your feet. You watched as a pair of Doc Martens slipped into view on either side of your ankles. You looked up at the owners. You had never seen such a proud look on Sirius’s face. Well, safe for when you told him of Regulus’s new found defiance. He held the smuggest smile and you felt your heart throb. Approval.
“I don't get it, come on {Y/N}-”
“Who does she think you love anyway, James?” Sirius huffed, taking your friend’s attention from you. You sent him an appreciative look.
“She thinks I'm in love with {Y/N}.” He scoffed and your breath hitched a bit. “I mean, it doesn't help that we haven't dated anyone. I figured that if me and {Y/N} dated and broke up she would see how crazy she is.”
You purse your lips at that. Yeah. Crazy. Why would James Potter ever love you?
“Oh!” James exclaimed and sat up, “What if you got a boyfriend?” James pried and you arched an eyebrow at him. “Or, you know, girlfriend.”
You scoffed. As if that was the issue!
“James, I am not going to date someone just to leave them so you can get with Lily.” You crossed your arms over yourself now, and James groaned. “Come on, please? I mean, you can tell them it's fake! I mean, I'm sure even Sirius would be willing-”
“Nope.” Sirius popped his lips and you looked up at him with a startled surprise. You couldn't help but melt at how he winked at you, nudging your ankles with his feet. “I'm not going to tarnish our little dragon’s reputation, here.”
You rolled your eyes playfully as James’s groans faded out. You looked up as a bell began to ring, signaling it was time to come inside for dinner. James got up and hurried out of the tree, Sirius was next, sending you a look as he climbed down, curious. You simply smiled at him and followed after, knowing it would reassure him.
You thought James had dropped it, but as you set the table and gathered drinks for everyone, the boys at the table began to idly talk.
“Anything interesting happened today?” Fleamont asked you as you set his coffee down by his hand, kissing his eyebrow, making him chuckle.
“No, Uncle Flea.” You hummed and set down Euphemia’s tea and did the same. She returned the kiss, leaving you unaware of how James seemed to be eyeing you. You set down Sirius’s drink and he poked his cheek, leaning closer to you. You kissed your hand and smacked him. He laughed and you finished up, taking your seat across from the boys on your own side of the table.
“How about you, son?” Flea asked Sirius next, and Black shrugged. “Nothing really.”
“Really? You're not going to tell him?” James smirked and you looked at him curiously, confused. Sirius shared your look and James continued. “I mean, If you won't, I will.” He cheeked.
“James what are you-” Before you could even finish, he threw his hands up in an exaggerated announcement.
“Sirius and {Y/N} are dating!”
Your jaw went slack in shock and Sirius snapped his head over, dumbstruck.
“I- what- James Potter!” You shouted at him, he smirked at you. This cheeky little bastard. There was a loud thud from under the table as you kicked him. Hard. The poor boy winced and tried to keep his face straight.
“James you bloody-” Sirius started with a clench jaw before Euphemia gave a laugh.
“No need to be shy you two, however, James you shouldn't have told us before they were ready.” She scolded and Fleamont gave a chuckle and clapped Sirius on his shoulder.
“Just be safe, boy. Mr. {L/N} and I are not ready to be grandpas.” He cheeked and you slowly sunk into your seat and covered your face, groaning low as Sirius began to stammer over himself, not sure if he should explain himself or not.
James was so dead.
~~~
You paced in your room, hands over your mouth in deep thought. James was cleaning the kitchen and Sirius was closing down the house, their respective chores of the night. You sat on your bed and tried to figure a way out of this, before someone knocked on your door.
You looked up and waved your wand to open the door, Sirius walking in holding James by his ear. The taller boy was cursing and following close behind. “Ow ow ow ow-”
“James Fleamont Potter!” You whisper hissed and stood up, Sirius smirking, for once, not the one in trouble.
“Hear me out-”
“No! We will do no such thing!” You continued to whisper-shout at him. “You need to tell them you were lying!”
James bit his cheek and looked at Sirius who was avoiding his eyes. “It's just a few months-”
“James-”
“Hear me out! Just, just three months! You saw how excited they got.” James pleaded and you sighed. Covering your face before you peaked between your fingers at Sirius who gave you a playfully scandalized look.
“Am I the only one with common sense here?” Sirius scoffed and you groaned.
“It would seem so. Frightening, innit?”
“Debilitating, actually.” He sighed playfully and you laughed.
There was a long pause between you and Sirius. James watched as you two seemed to be communicating between your eyes. James slowly pouted as he was, once again, left out of the loop.
“Fine.” You sighed and Sirius bit his lip. “Alright, three months.”
~~~
You were not ready for the whirlwind that was sixth year. A lot had happened in such a short amount of time.
You had forgotten about the ever growing issue of telling Regulus Black of your new found status with his brother. To your complete shock, he seemed happy about the news.
“Bloody finally.”
“The hell do you mean finally?”
“If I had to go one more school year watching my brother make eyes at you, I'd vomit. Just keep it behind closed doors please.”
Eyes? Your friends were going mad. Pandora seemed to actually express visual joy when you told her, smiling with a hand over her heart, with a simple. “That's lovely.”
Barty, Sirius’s self proclaimed nemesis, even seemed relieved. Though, he had to admit, he didn't figure you for someone who wanted to be with a player.
The only one who seemed to take the news hard was Severus, reminding you of the prank and how that bastard tried to kill him. You listened to his concerns, but in truth, you knew Sirius wasn't the only one at fault. You had, in fifth year, confronted Sirius about what had happened and he admitted his fault in it.
You knew it wasn't for you to forgive, but if you couldn't forgive him, what place did you have being crossed about it?
Eventually, Severus, Avery, and Mulicber wanted nothing to do with you. As Severus hurt, you had to admit, he was camaraderie found in misery. You refused to be miserable anymore.
Remus was the first to notice it, how much you had grown and who you had left behind. He also seemed to be you and Sirius’s biggest fan, and unexplainably protective of your relationship.
Before you knew it, you were sitting at the Gryffindor table every day, nuzzled under Sirius’s arm and watching him as he rattled on about Quidditch practice and the start of the season. You didn't really care about the game, you only used to watch to support Regulus as a seeker, which seemed to please James as well.
“Do you have a spare jersey?” You pressed your pinky to his side gently, muttering into his shoulder. Sirius looked down at you, a bit startled by your comment. He narrowed his eyes at you curiously and you pressed your tongue to your cheek. Watching as his expression shifted a bit and his cheeks turned a soft red.
“A jersey?” He pushed, trying not to get his hopes up. You gave a laugh at his nervous question.
“All I have are Slytherin colors.” You mused and slipped your arm around his back and nuzzled into his chest a bit. Regulus giving a playful gag, poking his finger to the back of his throat at your public displays of affections.
You giggled before James spoke up, he had been so quiet you didn't even notice him. “You can wear mine, I have an old Seeker one from before I was captain.” He hummed and Sirius stiffened against you a bit. You watched his jaw clench, and his attention was finally torn from you, playfully glaring at James.
“James-”
“Thanks Jamie.” You mused and Sirius snapped his attention back to you, just for you to be smiling up at him. “But I want to wear my boyfriend's name.”
Sirius swore he lost the air in his lungs. Remus whistled and you laughed at the out of character display.
“You're so fucking whipped-” Regulus huffed with a roll of his eyes and before you could turn to reprimand him, Sirius wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you practically on his lap. “Better be, just f’me.” He mumbled against your ear. No one else could hear him, you wondered why he even said it.
Regardless, you didn't think your heart could beat that fast for anyone but James.
~~~
Three months passed faster then you thought it possibly could. The cautious and careful moments between you and Sirius turned familiar and confident. From your new routine between classes to show everyone just how in love you surely were to the private moments you weren't positive you should be having with the best friend of the boy you loved.
Reality was slowly blending together with your facade, from him sneaking off with you to the astronomy tower, and your walks along the Black lake when no one could see you two.
Even now, where you laid in his bed, alone. Remus doing his Prefect duties and James’ surely wowing Lily. You were sitting with your back against the headboard, reading to Sirius as he hummed and dozed off. You propped the book against his arm that wrapped around your middle, your other hand tangled in his hair. He seemed to be in just a blissful state, absolutely unraveled as your nails ran over his scalp.
You trailed off, just admiring the sleepy boy. Slowly leaning closer to see if he had fallen asleep yet.
You were spending time with the boys in their common room. Sirius had complained about his horrid sleep schedule, and when you, ever the good girlfriend, suggested you read to him. He laughed at first. When you puffed up your cheeks and told him it always worked for James, suddenly his tune changed.
He practically dragged you up to their shared dorm and left Peter and James behind, snuggling up to you, like he said a proper boyfriend would. Your heart was going mad at first. You hadn't been in their dorm, let alone in Sirius’s bed before. He acted so natural about it, you tried to stifle the green monster that seemed to have switched targets from Lily to Sirius’s past flings.
You don't know when it changed, but looking down at Sirius’s peaceful face, how he seemed so comfortable with you in his arms and pressed against your body, you knew you had ruined your chances at a normal love life. Falling in love with Sirius Black was the worst idea you never had.
Suddenly, Sirius stirred, eyes opening, sagged and low, clearly still tired. Your eyes locked, and this warm feeling filled you as he slowly smiled at you. You didn't even feel nervous, just.. just peaceful.
“Is the book done?” He muttered and you slowly nodded. His eyes never leaving yours. There was a bit of quiet before he began to speak. “Dragon-”
Then the door slammed open. “Don't be naked!” James huffed, covering his eyes. You have a nervous laugh as your cheeks flushed, looking away. Sirius gave a low and annoyed groan. It was gravely and deep as he sat up. You did not need that stuck in your head right now.
“Damn it mate, I'm trying to sleep.” Sirius huffed and James seemed startled at your state. You were actually reading to him. When he heard ‘sleep’ his mind wandered to Sirius’s typical use for it. The idea of you sleeping with Sirius didn't get under his skin, but the idea of loosing a piece of you that was once his, did.
Instead, he walked in on you and him. Doing one of his favorite things. One of you and his favorite things. You were really reading to him. He slowly frowned as your fingers left Sirius’s hair. You pouted up at him, not even seeming to care James was there, just upset that your weighted blanket moved.
He didn't like that. Not at all.
Sirius shifted and his palm pressed down a bit too much weight on your thigh and you hiss. He quickly got off of you and muttered an apology.
“It's okay Siri.” You whispered and rubbed your skin. He took a deep breath. That bloody nickname.
“You know.” James cut in and you and Sirius looked over at him. “It's been three months.”
He gestured to the two of you and you looked back up at Sirius with nervous eyes. He seemed to try to study yours as well.
“I think that's long enough.” He challenged.
You slowly took a breath, Sirius seemed to be waiting on your word. “Well.. are you with Lily yet?” You questioned, looking over at the tan skinned boy and James gave you a scandalous look.
“I mean-”
“That was the deal, right?” Sirius asked and looked back at James, getting comfortable over you once more, nuzzling his head right against your stomach. You smiled down at him, not noticing the looks him and James shared. Not particularly friendly.
“You asked us, James.”
“I wouldn't say what he did was asking.” You mumbled and Sirius chuckled, looking back up at you and gesturing to the book. You glanced at a red faced James before carefully grabbing the book and opening it. You didn't care to watch James' betrayed expression. He had done this to himself.
~~~
“It's going to be so fun, Sirius!” Peter declared and James laughed, “Yeah, what's more important then charming the stairs to move when a Slytherin tries to talk on it?”
Remus smirked at Sirius who simply gave a fond smile and a sigh. “Sorry, I have business with my lovely dragon.”
Remus gave Sirius a proud smile and the tatted boy rubbed the back of his neck.
“What, are you two shagging?” Peter asked with a bored look and Remus smacked him.
“Thank you Moony, and no, I'll have you know. We haven't even kissed yet.” He huffed and James’s jaw went slack. Why would Sirius admit that?
Why in the bloody hell would I admit that? Sirius thought, mortified. He keeps forgetting this isn't a true relationship. It's been five months, Sirius wasn't known to wait longer than a week.
Peter was rubbing the back of his head with a huff and Remus gave Sirius a surprised look. Sirius looked anywhere but their faces.
“You two.. haven't kissed?” Remus pushed and Sirius shrugged. “Just.. I'm her first boyfriend, she is nervous. You know, all that stuff. She's sensitive.”
When he looked at the group he got a variety of different looks. Peter was shocked, James was confused, and Remus looked purely ecstatic.
“Seems Sirius found someone worth waiting for, hm?” Remus teased and Sirius flipped him off.
“I'm done talking to you lame-os anyway. She's waiting for me in the library.” He huffed and hurried off the opposite side of the hall, face red and absolutely humiliated. Even then, he couldn't think of anything but seeing you.
In the background, he could hear James shout. “To study!?”
~~~
You waited for Sirius in the library like you promised, thumbing threw a few of your school books and comparing you and Sirius’s grade cards. Since him and you began the charade, his grades had improved greatly. He seemed to start to care about studying. He, ever the flirt, would always say if he got to spend time with you, spending the day studying in the library wasn't entirely awful.
When Sirius showed up, you couldn't help how the most excited smile grew on your lips. You and Sirius were quietly enjoying each other's presence, but about an hour into your session you heard a voice call out to you. It was soft, soothing, and it sounded like honey.
“Can we join you?”
You looked up confused, staring into the green eyes of Lily Evans. You expected that familiar bitter twist of your chest to settle, but you didn't feel a negative emotion towards her. You looked beside her and there stood Mary Macdonald, Marlene Mckibbon, and Dorcus Meadows. You smiled at Dorcas and she nodded to you.
“Of course you can.” You gestured to the table, turning to Sirius for approval and he looked surprise by your answer. You smiled at him and shrugged, leaning a bit closer and whispered, “It'll help, yeah?”
“Help?” He mumbled back and you smirked against his cheek. Giving him a small kiss against it. “For Jamie, Siri.”
You pulled away and smiled at Lily as she turned to talk to you. Sirius was staring at you like you stole his voice, but he didn't want it back.
Pandora was right, when you got to know Lily, you did like her. Quite a lot.
By the end of the day, you and Lily were laughing with your arms linked, leaving the Library.
“Merlin, we should have talked ages ago!” She smiled bright at you and you laughed, nodding in agreement.
“Most definitely, when do you usually study?” You pushed and Dorcas muttered a goodbye, turning to leave without you and the redhead. Mary smirked at the scene and Marlene wrapped her arms around your neck.
“We are here too!” She complained and you laughed louder. You liked Marlene, but it seemed the bitter feeling that was once aimed at Lily was now on her. You really wish Pandora didn't tell you about her and Sirius having the longest standing relationship out of all of his past wix.
She was with Mary now, she didn't have any interest in Sirius. Merlin, please save you. Jealousy was your biggest weakness. Other then that, blending in with the girls was easy. They were so delightful.
Eventually, Sirius managed to pry you away from the three, leaving you reaching back for them and earning laughs from the girls. Sirius eventually lifted you up on his shoulder so you'd stop fighting him.
That distracted you.
Damn his beater toned arms.
You looked back at him from where he was holding you, making it to the stairs to the dungeons. You flinched a bit when you heard Dorcas curse. You looked back and saw her, stuck in the middle of the stairs, trying to walk down as the stairs moved against her downward steps up.
You gawked at it and nudged Sirius’s shoulder. “Someone is after you boy’s title.” You teased and Sirius shook his head.
“It was the boys.” He remarked and hoisted you up properly, watching as Dorcas managed to fight her way to the bottom. Holding her knees with an aggregated pant. You laughed and tried not to get too in your head about what he said and the conclusion you came to. He spent the day with you instead of pranking with the boys.
“How will we get down?” You asked and he smirked. “It just works with Slytherins.” He cheeked and suddenly began hurrying down the stairs. You yelped and clung to his back. He laughed and fixed his grip on your thighs to keep you over his shoulder. You huffed as you got to the bottom, only for Dorcas to tutt at you.
“You're huffing!?”
You laughed and he set you down. Dorcas waved you off and you tried to cover your smiling face.
You watched Dorcas enter the dorms, you followed after her before you paused and turned to face Sirius, who was watching you with his hands in his pockets. Trying not to seem winded.
“Hey, Siri.” You called him over and he tilted his head. Walking over to you, you grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down a bit.
His hands snaked around your hips and he went to hold his breath. You smiled at him and he seemed startled and waiting not so patiently for your next move. His eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips, and your eyes were locked in his lips. This was okay right? This is what partners do?
“Sirius, can I-”
Before you could even properly ask, Regulus rudely interrupted.
“Alright you, stop sucking my brother's face.” Regulus’s voice rang from behind you and you refused to budge. Sirius smirked and moved in, before Regulus yanked you back by your hood. The door closing behind you. He could faintly hear your sounds of disapproval.
Sirius stared at the door for far longer than he should have. Thinning his lips as he tried to remind himself. This was fake. And you loved James.
~~~
Eight months. Late April, and you were sitting in the Gryffindor stands watching the final game of the year. Well, if you could call trying to locate colors on the foggy backdrop with blistering rain watching.
You sat with Lily, Mary, Remus and Peter. It was foggy, drizzling, and the match lasted hours. You were wrapped up in one of Sirius’s leather jackets, it didn't do much to cut through the chill.
You didn't want to lie and say you understood what was happening, just that James and Regulus had yet to catch the snitch. Occasionally, the stands would cheer and you would throw your hands up in support of it all. Watching as Lily laughed at you.
“Sweetness, you look lost.” Lily sang to you, and you bite your bottom lip. “That obvious?”
“Only to everyone.��� She laughed and put her hand on your arm, pulling you up. You both walked over to the railing and she put her hand above her brow and looked around. You looked at her movements, before copying her body language.
“There!” She cheeked and pointed out a billowing red cape, hardly making out James' name. You smiled and leaned closer. “Is that Jamie?”
“It … is.” Lily muttered softly and looked at you from the corner of her eye, as if looking for any sign of affection for the boy. Beyond platonic. To her pleasant surprise, your next words made her smile.
“Do you see Siri?” You asked, leaning closer so she could hear you above the cheering fans and the loud beating rain.
Lily lit up, laughing, gesturing over towards one of the goals. You narrowed your eyes and began to hit your heel against the wooden floor. The smile that unfolded onto your cheeks was far brighter then she'd ever seen you look at James.
Lily saw it, the shift in your eyes.
She wasn't the first one to see it, but she wouldn't be the last.
“Oh! Oh! They found it!” Lily exclaimed and you snapped your attention over to where Lily pointed. You looked down and your eyes widened, watching as James and Regulus raced for the snitch.
“Regulus!” You screamed.
“James!” Lily cheered.
Your eyes snapped to each other and you both began to laugh. You loved James, but come on, Slytherin could use this.
You both looked back and began to cheer and chant their names. Lily screamed out in delight as James caught the snitch, and you leaned over the railing with an exaggerated, “Booo!!” James noticed and you quickly covered your mouth.
Remus bellowed a laugh at James’s offended but playful look.
“Gryffindor wins!! I think.” The announcer screamed over the intercom. You laughed and turned to look at Lily who was already running down the stairs.
You scrambled with a bit of a slip as you hurried after her to the pitch. The red head was far faster than you, however. Remus just strolled back with Mary, who was rambling about how cool her girlfriend looked. You just missed her talking about how tone her girlfriends arms were-
It's the beaters charm, really.
When you made it to the pitch you watched James land, Lily practically tackling him off his broom. The boy wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. The team cheering and screaming in delight, the stands going mad with confetti. He looked up to you and let go of Lily, turning to face you as he brandished the snitch.
You lit up to match his smile, but before you could make it over to congratulate him, you saw Sirius land threw the crowd. You felt your entire body grow gittery, from your tightening toes to your squaring shoulders. He tossed the bat to the ground and ruffled his wet hair. He looked breathtaking. You watched as he threw his arm around Marlene, the two laughing and flexing a bit at each other. You narrowed your eyebrows a bit.
That was enough for you to take a few large steps forward. “Sirius!” You called over.
First things first, you were not jealous. You certainly weren't jealous, not of Marlene, she loved Mary. But you would be happy if he wasn't touching her- or if she just took two huge steps back. You wouldn't be upset about that.
Sirius looked over to you and his smile grew brighter, letting go of Marlene. Good. He began hurrying over to meet you. Eventually, you broke into a jog and he matched your pace. James watched in confusion as you threw yourself into his arms as your excitement grew. You laugh as he lifts you up and spun you around. You looked down at him with a bright smile, blocking out the rain from falling on his chiseled face. Your hands moved to his cheeks and he opened his eyes slowly. He paused in the center of the court and you bite your bottom lip. He wanted terribly to pull it between his own teeth.
“You won.” You whispered and his hands slipped higher up your sides. The intimate moment so public his hands felt like fire on your cold wet skin.
“I did.” He whispered and you leaned your body against his. He kept you up easily despite his throbbing muscles. You leaned your lips right above his, eyes locked in a trance. “Do I.. do I get a reward?” He whispered and glanced down at your lips.
You laughed, leaning down and completed the kiss. Holding him firm against yourself, he met you with pure hunger. Slowly setting you down, without breaking the kiss. You moved closer against him, your bodies meeting without an inch between your limbs.
This is okay, right? You thought blissfully. This was for James.
You both were lost to the world. Ignoring anyone else as Sirius began to grab at you with so much intensity you gasped. He took the opportunity to introduce your tongues.
You didn't notice as James gave a pained expression. He wasn't sure why you going to Sirius bothered him so much.
No, he knew why. He felt like he was losing you. Like everything that made James special to you was being replaced with Sirius. It was his own bloody fault.
Lily noticed his wandering eyes and her lip twitched. Resolving herself to take his cheeks and turn him to look at her. He slowly smiled and leaned down to take a kiss. She met him with a happy hum.
The moment went from bitter jealousy to melting joy. This was your favorite game yet.
“Am I just chopped liver!?” Regulus finally exclaimed, the only thing pulling your attention from your lip lock. You threw your head back with a laugh, and Sirius just stared with a love sick smile, kiss bruised lips, and in absolute joy.
~~~
By the time summer came around you were around the Potters more and more.
You stopped spending the night so much, the older you got the more Euphemia seemed to believe you and Sirius were being closer then close most nights. Making teasing remarks that killed you. Eventually, you stopped coming over when Sirius joined in on the teasing.
Your father and you were invited over tonight, however. You didn't want to introduce your father to Sirius, the man had a bigger heart then most, and you knew it would hurt him to meet your ‘first love’ just to lose him months later. You didn't think this would last so long.
So when the door opened and Flea welcomed you in, you were shocked to see Sirius on the couch, hair combed, clothing presentable, even hiding some of his newer tattoos he got over your time in muggle London. He smiled over at you and your father, standing up and walking over.
You were stunned by just how charming he was trying to be. Your father looked surprised, looking to you in confusion, as if he had expected someone else tonight.
“Sirius Black then? I know of your family.” He remarked and Sirius faltered a bit. You walked over to link your arm with his. He looked to you and smiled soft, hesitantly. Your father seemed completely pleased.
As the night went on you guys moved to the parlor room. You were ecstatic to learn Lily was coming as well, and when she got there, the night turned much more lively.
You were laying your legs across Sirius lap and laughing at your father and Flea’s ever heated debate about his most recent business decisions. Lily was listening intently, happy to learn more about the inner workings of the wizarding world. James was sitting on the floor with his head in her lap and her fingers tangled in his locks.
Sirius put a hand on your chin and turned you over to look into his eyes. You gave him a smile and nudged his arm with your knee. You leaned your chin greedily into his hand, wanting the full contact of his palm. When he gave it to you, you leaned your cheek into it. He stared at you and you pressed your lips together. “Sirius?”
“Yeah?” He whispered.
“What's this?” You whispered and slowly wrapped your hand around his wrist and turned to kiss his hand. Glancing at him from the corner of your eyes. He about died.
“Awe, young love.” Euphemia cooed and you were startled back to the moment, pulling from Sirius who quickly fixed himself to look at the three parents, James effectively out of the conversation without a care.
Lily laughed and Flea reached over to pat Sirius’s shoulder. “What did I always say, {Y/N}?”
“Hm? What's that Flea?” You hummed and looked back at the men and Euphemia, he chuckled.
“Every Potter has a Slytherin.” He cheeked and winked at Sirius whose face turned to one of pure shock. You lit up at him and back to Sirius, who was smiling like a fool. You mirror his look and then Mrs. Potter spoke up next.
“I'm so glad you two figured it out.” She hummed..
“What was that?” You mumbled and looked back at her in pure confusion.
“Oh, that boy has been making heart eyes at you since he first got here. I could tell he was smitten.” Mrs. Potter mused a matter of factly, looking over at Sirius just past your confused expression, who was making a lip zipping motion, she gave him an amused and curious look, which made you turn and smirk at him. He quickly tried to play it off, earning a laugh from the group.
James rolled his eyes at their interaction, and Lily pouted a bit. Still confused as to why he seemed so determined to dislike the two together.
“You know, it's been a few months since me and Lily got together.” He remarked to the room, eyes on you and Sirius. You frowned a bit and looked away, Sirius met his look with a challenging one of his own. Euphemia narrowed her eyes but the men seemed none the wiser.
“And how lovely Lily is.” Fleamont mused and gestured to her, she smiled at him, happy with how they seemed to accept her so easily.
The night went smoothly from there.
Eventually, it was time to head home. The Potters, Evans, and Black walked you both to the door. You said your goodbyes, but whenever you would glance at Sirius he seemed preoccupied with your lips.
It wasn't something you thought you'd ever find attractive, how desperately Sirius wanted to kiss you at any given moment. Here you were, however, absolutely melting.
You leaned up on your toes and gave him a quick peck. Your dad smiled at this, but before you could turn away Sirius wrapped his arms around you and stole another longer kiss. If only by seconds. You laughed into his lips and he smiled against yours. Muttering a goodbye before you and your father finally apparated away.
You didn't think tonight could get much better, but when you looked up at the stairs to your manor, you locked eyes with familiar bright grey ones. Regulus Black, with a suitcase and a bruised cheek, giving you a cautious stare. Like a stray cat, ready to bolt, but instead of attention it was the first sign of rejection.
Regulus Black was a proud boy, like his brother. He was far too determined to do something and everything by himself.
Your father looked confused, before he glanced at you, like he was seeing double in one night.
You hurried up the stairs, not answering your father immediately as you moved to grab his bag. To your absolute shock, Regulus fell into you before you could, hands clenching your sleeves. You were bewildered, Regulus never wanted to be touched.
You didn't have to think twice before you wrapped your arms around his middle and pulled him in close. The younger boy crying softly into your shoulder. Tonight was a startling night for firsts with the Black children, but you didn't hesitate to embrace it.
Your father picked up his luggage and muttered something about fixing up a room for him as he went inside. You were content to comfort Reggie.
~~~
Once Regulus was comfortable in the spare room, you talked. He told you everything about what had happened the past month, and your heart broke. Regulus and you were closer than most, but he still kept cards to his chest. He was paranoid, but in his weakness, he showed you all of them.
He told you what they expected of him, at just fifteen they told him he would be expected to go through with what his brother could not. How when he expressed even the slightest hesitance, they resulted in reprimanding him like Sirius.
He told you how he missed his brother, how he hated being alone in that house. He left the second his mother went to Paris on business, trying to get him a deal with a pureblood overseas.
He promised he would only be there for a few nights at most. His expression was blank but his voice was soaked in sullen misery, sitting beside you on the bed and staring at the wall.
“Where will you go, Regulus?” You reached for his hand and he didn't pull away.
“I'll figure it out.” He mumbled and you gave an offended laugh.
“You're mad if you think I'll let you leave with no plan.” You scoffed. “Regulus, you're safe here.”
“I'm a burden here.” He snapped back, eyes flicking to yours. They were full of pain you were familiar with. Your lips parted and you tried to read his expression, before something sparked in your mind. Burden?
“Regulus, you could never be a burden to me. To us.” You whispered and he sniffled. The shock that went through your body wasn't foreign.
“Reggie…” You paused and tilted your head to try to get him to express what was under all of this. You knew he was prideful and independent, but this didn't seem in character. Not for you two.
A guilt filled you as he refused to meet your eyes. Your eyes widened. Was he.. was he angry with you? “Reggie-”
“Listen. I don't want to get between you and my brother. I'm glad you love him. I'm glad he has someone to love. Just wish you stayed my friend too.” He scoffed and sniffled, the tension in your body fell away. You slowly covered your mouth.
He was right.
You had been spending every waking moment with Sirius since school began again. Pandora had Dorcas, Barty had Evans, Severus had his horrid friends. Regulus didn't have anyone. He would come to the Gryffindor table to spend meals with you, but after, before, Merlin, even during, you were focused on his brother.
The one thing he had with you, Quidditch, and you ran to his brother when he won. Didn't even check on him for his loss. You thought his words were playful that day but truly? You were cruel.
You had abandoned him. To his family, to his self doubt, you left him alone.
You had done what James had done to you.
“Oh Reggie.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. He leaned his head against your shoulder but didn't hug back.
That night was filled with heart filled apologies, promises of a better tomorrow, and a guarantee Regulus had a home with you and your father.
It made you wonder, how you felt so guilty and ruined over the simple idea of what you had done to Regulus. Even his forgiveness didn't seem to be enough. James didn't seem the least bit apologetic in his words to you. Not as much as you thought he should.
Eventually, you let him sleep. You lettered Sirius, with Regulus’s permission, of his status.
You woke up early the next morning to your father calling you downstairs. Watching the Black brothers embrace healed something in you that you didn't know needed. Sirius looked so happy, and you watched Regulus grow flustered at his brother's affection. Laughing out as Regulus eventually pushed his sappy brother away and declared he was going back to his room.
You both shared a look as he disappeared.
The summer was the best yet.
~~~
Once school began, James and you had your last separation.
You came to him, voicing your thoughts about his cruelty towards you. He was confused as to where this came from, considering you had forgiven him. You had to remind him, you never did. You stayed at his house for Sirius that summer, he never apologized.
He had changed a lot, he kept true to his promise to better himself for Lily. You were proud of him, but it still hurt. Like a wound that continued to reopen whenever you were reminded that he didn't seem to truly care about what he had done to you. Just wanted to bury it. There was that nagging voice, telling you to just forgive him. Forgive and forget about it.
Then, would you accept that treatment for Regulus? It took seeing it through his eyes to understand you deserved more than an eight year olds apology. But that's what you got.
“Look, I get it. I really am sorry. Forgive me?”
“No.”
“... no? What, {Y/N}, come on. It's been two years now-”
“And I've tried. I have tried so hard, James. But as I've seen it.. I've fought to keep you in my life. You have never done that for me.”
“Fought for you? This isn't some book-”
“That's all I need, James. Just show me better.”
The argument that ensued was short and to the point. Nothing was resolved, so you left it that way. You wouldn't put forward the effort to keep a sense of normalcy despite the pain.
You were content with who you had, you would learn to get over the people you lost.
Your hand was off the wheel. You were done chasing after James Potter. You knew your father would be proud of you. You knew Sirius was proud of you, Regulus too. You never felt so at peace with the people you chose. Not because you never knew any better, but because they wanted you just as badly as you wanted them.
You and Sirius’s relationship was still dancing the line. You both knew that if this truly was just for James benifit it would have been over by now. You both were content as it was. Nothing said, nothing lost.
You both continued to blur the lines between you both, until the first win of the Quidditch season. It didn't take much convincing for him to lock Peter out of their dorm, leaving just you both to do what two young adults would. Something you both agreed was long overdue.
~~~
James had spent his night much the same way, waking up with Lily.
James was happy with Lily, she was everything he ever wanted. There was still something, however, eating him alive inside. He missed you. He didn't know how to handle his part in your departure, still unable to hold himself accountable for the pain he caused you all those years ago. Because you were kids! Practically siblings. Why did he have to prove he cared?
He pushed the thoughts away as Lily woke beside him. Giving him her breathtaking smile, something that James couldn't help but smile back at.
“Morning.” She sang so sweetly, leaning in to steal and lazy and long kiss. They both smiled into it, content at the moment.
James gave a laugh as Lily rolled onto his lap. Biting her lip as she grabbed the top of the bed frame. “Jamie~” She sang and he looked her up and down, giving a low groan as he snapped forward to kiss her, and like the tease she was, she rolled back over onto her back off his lap.
Neither of them had time to process what happened next, she hit her shoulder on his dresser and hissed. Leaning forward to cover her arm. He moved to rub her skin before he heard the sound of something hitting the floor.
He narrowed his eyes and looked over Lily, his face filling with dread.
Grandos. The dragon statue your father had carved all those years ago, shattered on the ground.
He shot up from the bed, just as Lily looked over. “Jamie?” She whispered and he hurried to get dressed, panicked. Taking out a towel and setting the statue on it like it was the most precious thing in the world.
“Jamie, oh- Oh James I am so sorry-” She began and tried to sit up, he took a deep breath and shot to his feet.
He was crying. Why was he crying?
He was coming to terms with the fact that you would never speak with him again, the figurine didn't mean the end of the world. But it was his last piece of you.
The last thing he didn't share with Sirius. With Regulus. With Remus, with Lily. The last thing that meant you and James would have a connection beyond the silly fights and petty disagreements. The last thing from when you were James. His heart was breaking. “I- She can fix it, right? Do you think she can?” James pleaded to no one.
Lily's heart broke. She could tell immediately what this was about. “James-”
“I-I’ll be back.” He declared quickly and put on his cloak.
It didn't take long for him to make it to the Gryffindor common room, holding the broken figurine like it was a wounded bird. You looked up from your perch on Sirius’s lap, the black haired boy huffing when he lost your attention.
“{Y/N}!” He shouted and hurried over. You narrowed your eyebrows at him, and he shoved the broken pieces towards you. As always, expecting you to mend it.
“James?”
“Please I- I don't know how to fix it. I can't loose it, please.” He begged and your looked to Sirius who seemed just as bewildered. There was a thick silence, as Remus bit his cheek.
It was so painfully clear to everyone but James what this was about.
You sighed through your nose and thought for a moment. Slowly, taking out your wand and waving if. “Repairo.”
Like that, the carving was as good as new. All perfect with its chipped paint and jagged edges. James seemed stunned as he looked down at the polished toy.
You slowly folded your arms. “James?” You whispered.
He hung his head low in shame.
“James.” You called in a more steady voice. He nodded to show he was listening. You scoffed.
“That's the last time, James. I'm not fixing anything for you anymore.”
“I-”
“No. That's it.” You put your hands up and James gave a breathy scoff of his own. Gesturing to you and Sirius, the boys lips thinning.
“Why?” He whispered in a broken hearted whimper. “Why does this fake relationship matter more to you then ours?”
You stared at him with wide and furious eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me, James?”
“Dragon-” Sirius tried to call out to you and you scoffed, waving him off.
“James, I have spent my whole life cleaning up the mess you made of me!” You yelled at the suddenly sheepish boy. “I am prioritizing myself! For once! If you want me in your life, then prioritize me too! I am doing the same for my boyfriend.”
He scoffed. “He isn't even your serious boyfriend! You dated him for me!”
You took a deep breath and before you could say something, Sirius gave a cocky smirk. “We've been over this, yeah?” He snaked his hand around your waist and pulled you back, trying to defuse the situation. “Everyone I date is a Sirius-”
“Stop.” You huffed at him and covered his mouth. He put his hands up in surrender. “James, I think you knew this stopped being fake the moment we agreed to it.”
Sirius gave you the stupidest smile, before coughing into his palm and looked away as you glared at him. Not the time you adorable bloody idiot.
“I just… I thought-”
“James. Everything I did was for you. For 14 years. Forgive me if I'm over it.” You sighed and gestured to the figurine.
“Next time. Fix it yourself.”
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title: The Other Woman (REWORKED) pairing: CEO!Mingyu x fem!reader genre: romance, found family, angst, fluff, smut warnings: mentions of not being able to have children, mentions of death (mingyu is widowed), smut (MDNI), oral (f and m receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk concerning being better in bed than someone else, mentions of being sick (mingyu gets a cold), slight miscommunication angst synopsis: You’re married to Wonwoo, but his father desperately wants him to have a child - which you cannot have. He gives into his parents wishes and meets the other woman, whom he eventually agrees to marry as well. You’re left heartbroken for a few years, seeing the man you love build a family that you had always wanted, but happiness is on the horizon as you meet someone new. wordcount: 31k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag
a/n: the other woman is probably my most popular fic series, but i've always hated it. i felt like it was rushed, and not well thought out - so i've remade it (same plot, just a few minor changes)! thank you so much for 3k followers! consider this my thanks for sticking around <3
thank you @wongyuseokie for beta reading this!
join my taglist - masterlists read the original mini-series: part one, part two, part three
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
PART ONE.
The sun managed to peek into the bedroom through the blinds, stirring you awake. As you moved around slightly, trying to stretch the sleep out of the limbs, you felt the man beside you grip onto your waist. “Stay,” Wonwoo murmured in his raspy morning voice.
You turn to Wonwoo, putting your hands in his hair, and look down at him. His head was by your chest, resting his forehead against your bare skin. He got home late last night, staying at work until the sun was far down behind the horizon. You had dressed up for him last evening, wearing a new slip dress that he had gotten for you, but you managed to fall asleep before he got home. Mornings like these were unusual and always welcomed.
“I wasn’t planning on leaving,” you said. “I took the day off too.”
“Lucky me.” He looked up at you with a grin. “I feel bad for the kids, though… they don’t get to see their favorite teacher.”
“I’m not their favorite,” you correct him. “And they’ll be fine if I’m gone for just one day… it’s worth it for this.”
Wonwoo leaned up to your face and placed a kiss on your lips, then mumbled something about you being perfect. You watched him sit up and reach for his glasses, enjoying the view of his naked form. You had lucked out - your husband was the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on. He turned to you again, giving you a soft smile.
“You look beautiful,” he said and reached over to touch your silky nightdress. “Is it the one I got for you?”
“Of course,” you murmured. “I put it on for you last night, but you got home later than usual.”
“I know.” Wonwoo sighed. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s okay… make it up for me?” With a big grin, he got on top of you and gave you another kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his lips traveled down your jaw to your neck. It’s been a while since you got to have this kind of morning, and it was just what you needed.
After you got out of the shower, you patted yourself dry with a towel before you changed into one of Wonwoo’s shirts. Wonwoo, who was already one step ahead of you, was making coffee in the kitchen. You had done this hundreds of times before; Wonwoo handed you a cup of coffee which you accepted and watched as he took out a few leftover side dishes from the fridge.
“Have you heard from your father yet?” you asked.
“Last night…” Wonwoo sighed. “We’ll meet him at the restaurant.”
“And you don’t know what he wants?”
“Not really.” He walks over to you after putting the side dishes on the counter. “Let’s not think about it- we took a day off so that we could spend a calm day before having to meet with him.”
“I know I just…” You took a deep breath. “I know how he feels about me. It feels weird that he asked to see us both.”
“Hey, don’t do that.” Wonwoo put his hands on your upper arms. “I don’t care what he says. You’re my wife. You come first.”
Despite his kind words, you can’t help the feeling of anxiety growing in your chest. Later that day, after hours of cuddling up on the couch and doing nothing together, you were getting ready for dinner. You had dolled yourself up - your makeup and hair were done, but your dress was still lying on the bed. Wonwoo always liked it when you walked around in his clothes, and you enjoyed his eyes on you.
“Do you think he’s just doing it as a formality? It is our anniversary soon…” you thought out loud. “It’s not like him, but maybe,” he hummed.
“Could you help me with my tie, honey?” He never actually needed help with his tie, but he knew it put your mind off of things if you did something with your hands. You walked up to him and took hold of the two ends of his tie.
“You look pretty,” Wonwoo said. “I’m not even dressed up yet,” you huffed. “Still pretty.”
You tried and failed to stop yourself from smiling. Wonwoo always knew how to make you feel better, even if it was just temporary. As soon as you had finished his tie, you went to put on your dress. As you pulled the straps over your shoulder, Wonwoo came up behind you to pull up the zipper. He pressed a kiss on your shoulder and slowly pulled the zipper up, and the feeling of his fingers against your skin sent a shiver down your spine.
“Let’s get this dinner over with,” he muttered in your ear, “I already want to have you for myself.”
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ The restaurant was scarce of customers, but it still felt like you were taking up too much space. Wonwoo sat next to you at the table. His father was late, but when he finally approached the table, Wonwoo grabbed your hand and squeezed it. As you ate, the atmosphere was thick. Except for the usual small talk, none of you said much. While you were waiting for the second course, the topic of children was brought up by Wonwoo’s father.
“Father…” your husband sighed. “I’m allowed to ask about the company’s heir, aren’t I?”
“Of course you are, sir.” You put a hand on Wonwoo’s knee. “We’ve been talking about adoption, right?” Before Wonwoo could answer you, his father interrupted him.
“Adoption?” He scoffed. “Then it’s not your real child, though, is it?”
“We’ve talked about this,” Wonwoo said. “The doctor said-”
“That she can’t have children, I know.” His father interrupted him again. “I just think there are other ways.” You looked at Wonwoo with a big clump in your throat, but he refused to meet your gaze.
“What do you mean? Surrogacy?” Wonwoo asked. “No, I just mean that… if this relationship with Y/N isn’t working out, then maybe you should find someone else- a mistress.” Wonwoo’s father spoke as if you weren’t in the room with them.
“Dad, I’m not cheating on my wife-”
“Don’t call it a mistress then.” He shrugged. “Call it a new wife. You can always remarry.”
“Father-”
“You need an heir.”
“I’ve heard enough.” You stood up. “If you’re going to talk like I’m not even here, then I don’t want to be here. You’ll just find any reason to hate me, won’t you? We’re going through with surrogacy if we’re going to have children. I don’t care what you think about it.”
As you stormed out, you noticed that Wonwoo didn’t immediately follow after you. His absence worried you, but you still went through with getting your coat checked out and walking out of the restaurant to hail a cab. Finally, Wonwoo came out after you and grabbed your hand.
“Y/N-” “Why didn’t you defend me in there?” you questioned him. “You just let him degrade me like that in front of you!”
“Let’s just talk about this, he-”
“You know how hard I’ve been trying.” Tears were welling up in your eyes. “I want to have a family with you, Wonwoo, you know that. It’s hard for me, and hearing him say that hurts. His ‘suggestion’ is off the table if you’re even thinking about staying married to me. It’s so fucking obvious he just wants you to leave me, he won’t even accept surrogacy- if you try to reason with him, I don’t know you anymore.” A cab stopped in front of you, and you opened up the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m staying at my mother’s place. I need to be alone,” you said. “But we need to talk about this-” He reached for you, and you pulled back.
“Don’t touch me!” You yelled and got in the cab.
When you got to your mother’s apartment, she was waiting for you with open arms. You had told her what had happened through text while you were in the cab. She was just about ready to go to the restaurant and curse out Wonwoo’s father herself.
“What a heartless man!” she exclaimed as she held you in her arms.
“It’s alright, Mom.” You sighed. “I’m going to go back home tomorrow and talk about it with Wonwoo.”
“You know he’s to blame here, too, right?”
“Mom… Wonwoo didn’t do anything.”
“Exactly.” She pulled back from the hug. “He should’ve stood up for you, honey.”
“Can we not talk about this, please?”
“Alright, just come inside.” You walked into her apartment and slept on her couch for the night.
The text you wake up to the next morning isn’t what you wanted. It was a short “We need to talk” text from Wonwoo. You answered by saying that you’d be home when he was home from work, and all you received back was “good”. Good. That’s all he had to say after what his father had said to you last night. Nevertheless, you went back home and waited for your husband.
“My father introduced me to someone else,” were words you never expected to hear from Wonwoo’s mouth. You were already sobbing, sitting on the couch in your living room. He was cold, not rubbing your back or bringing you in for a hug. You’ve never wanted his comfort more than right now.
“Listen, Y/N,” he said. “I’ll marry her- she’ll have my children-” Your loud sob interrupted him, and he finally touched you for the first time since last night. His hand on your back left a burning mark. “I’ll come back to you.”
“What?” You looked at him, your vision blurry from tears.
“After I get an heir, which is the only thing that my father wants, I’ll come back to you,” he explained.
“Wonwoo, that’s insane-”
“Don’t you understand? After I get an heir, my father will be out of our lives- it’s all he wants from me.”
He took your hands in his, holding them gently and bringing them up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you had trouble understanding what he was truly thinking. How was this easier than just cutting off his dad? You assumed he had talked with him about it, but you were left in the dark.
“And you think this will work?”
“Yes- I believe in us.”
“Fine… I trust you.”
Once the divorce was finalized, and Wonwoo had moved out, you realized just how big your apartment was. He had left you the place to not burden you with the troubles of moving. The woman Wonwoo married, Gyeong Hui, was one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen. She was gracious and poised, and she was everything that Wonwoo’s father expected from his son’s wife. For the first few months, you keep close contact with your ex-husband. But as time passes, your relationship fades. His final call to you was a normal Thursday afternoon. There was no warning, and it somehow made it worse.
“Gyeong Hui is pregnant…” Wonwoo said. “I don’t think I can… I just realized how fragile the situation is- I can’t leave the mother of my child. I’m sorry, Y/N.”
All you could manage to say was, “It’s okay”, and even then, your voice was breaking. You hang up before he can say anything else and pack up a few things to go live with your mother. Social media was a hellhole, seeing them move to the suburbs together- Wonwoo always said he hated the suburbs. Your dream together was to have a small family in the apartment that you had together… all of it, your wishes and your dreams, was gone. Your mom tried her best to cheer you up. She offered to have girls’ night, to go get your nails done, or spend the evening drinking wine and watching rom-coms. None of it sounded appealing to you, and you instead opted to stay in bed most of the time. You only went up to eat or use the bathroom, sometimes going for a walk or trying to get some other form of movement in. She gave up eventually, or so you thought. A year and a half had passed since you broke it off when your mom approached you at the breakfast table.
“Here, look at this,” she shoved her phone in front of your face.
“A cabin?”
“Cottage,” she corrected you. “It’s your aunt’s, and it’s absolutely dreamlike. It’s in the middle of nowhere, in a beautiful forest, and close to a lake.”
“It does look beautiful.” You looked through the photos.
“I’ve been asking her to borrow it forever,” she explained. “And she finally said it’ll be empty for a couple of weeks.”
“Oh? Are you gonna go?” You gave her back her phone. “I was thinking it’d be nice for you to get out into nature… you can borrow my car and go out there right now. Get off your phone and get to spend some time with yourself.”
“Mom-”
“And if you don’t want to be alone, she has a lot of neighbors!”
“Mom-”
“I just think it’s perfect for you, darling,” she said. “It’ll be good, I promise.”
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ You decide to take your mom’s advice. The drive there was beautiful, but when you arrived you realized it wouldn’t be all that therapeutic - for you, it was mostly bug bites and muddy shoes. The houses were beautiful, especially your aunt’s cottage. The red brick contrasted nicely with the dark roof - and there was ivy growing on the side of the building. No house looked the same. It was your favorite thing about this place. Your neighbor had a cute yellow house, and the one next to that one was blue. It continued for a few more cottages, and they all looked adorable. The outside was gorgeous, but the inside was like nothing you had ever seen before. It felt like walking into a Ghibli movie. The wooden floors creaked under your feet, the walls had a beautiful green wallpaper with flowers, and everything was decorated in a cohesive maximalist style. It wasn’t as big as the other houses, but still had two levels - the second floor only being a bedroom and bathroom - and it was more than enough for you. So, you spent your time indoors, and you realized that you did want to be alone… but, of course, your neighbors couldn’t know that. Most of them were retired, but a few of them were only a little older than you. They told you that they just wanted to come check on who the new person could be. There couldn’t be a lot happening there if you were the biggest piece of gossip to talk about. As more neighbors decided to stop by, you grew more tired of their visits - even if they were short-lived. So when there was another knock at your door, you didn’t open it with a smile.
“Hello?”
In front of you stood a gorgeous, tall man. Black short hair, golden tan skin, and a body that was practically built by the gods. He was wearing sweatpants and a white t-shirt with paint splatter on it. Not wanting to seem like a creep, you looked up at his face again. However, when meeting his eyes, you were filled with a sense of calm. They were kind and well-meaning, which made your sour welcome all the more embarrassing.
“I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kim Mingyu.” He took his hand off a plastic box and reached it out to you. His handshake was strong, but not in the way that men usually tried to display their dominance. You didn’t know if it was in your head, but it felt safe - protective. Maybe it was just the lack of men in your life at the moment, but you were tingling at his touch.
“I’m Jeo…. Y/L/N Y/N.” You took your hand back from his hold. “My aunt let me stay here for a bit.” Almost saying your ex’s last name, instead of your own, in front of this handsome stranger felt horrifying. But Mingyu didn’t seem to notice, or he pretended not to for your sake.
“Well, I’m your next-door neighbor- so if there’s anything you need, you can let me know.” Friendly and hot. This might have been the luckiest you’ve felt in over a year.
“Oh, is it your cottage?”
“No, no- it’s my parents’ place. I’m just fixing it up for them so that they can enjoy it during the summer months,” he explained and looked down at his box. “Oh, right. I got you a little welcome gift- I don’t know if you like muffins, but…”
He held it out to you, and you finally got a proper look at it. The bottom of it was read, but the top was see-through. Dark red muffins, about six of them, were lined up perfectly inside the box. Red velvet. You wondered if he had made them himself or if he had bought them from some expensive bakery.
“I love muffins,” you assured him and accepted the box. “Thank you, Mingyu.”
“No problem,” he said, “And, if you’re into barbecue, our other neighbor is having one later this evening.”
“Oh, I don’t know… I don’t really know them. I feel like I’d be intruding.”
“You can come over with me. I’ll keep you company all night if you don’t like them,” he joked.
“Well, that’s certainly a tempting offer…” You thought about your mom and how much she’d want you to try to move on. “Alright, when is it?”
“I’ll come by around six and pick you up,” he recommended.
“Sounds good,” you said. “See you then.” “Can’t wait.” He sent you a flirtatious smile before leaving.
You watched Mingyu leave, not so subtly checking him out, before closing the door. Walking into the kitchen, you opened up the box of muffins and were immediately hit with a velvety aroma. After putting the box on the kitchen island, you picked one of them up and tasted it. The muffin practically melted in your mouth. It was perfectly fluffy and not too sweet.
“Holy fuck.” You put your hand over your mouth. Was this man good at everything?
Not wanting to look like you’ve been in bed all day, despite definitely having done just that, you put on a blue linen dress and try to look a little put together. You don’t want to tarnish your aunt’s good name by being a messy niece. Mingyu knocked on your door at six o’clock sharp, and when you opened the door, you were met with a surprise. He had changed into white linen pants and a light blue dress shirt. You were matching.
“Hi again,” he said with a smile. “Ready to go?”
“Oh, um…” You looked back into the cottage and grabbed your bag. “Sure… should I bring something?”
“If you have something to bring.” You went into the kitchen and picked up a bottle of rosé you had brought with you. It was one of your favorite bottles. It had been chilled in the fridge, now at the perfect drinking temperature. When you walked back outside, you held up the bottle of wine for him to see. Mingyu whistled when he saw the label, and you handed it over to him to let him get a closer look.
“Nice stuff.” He held the bottle gently so that he didn’t heat it with his hands.
“You can thank-” Wonwoo. Wonwoo showed you this wine first. He said that it’d be just your taste. He wasn’t wrong, which was nice at the time, but now it made you want to scream.
“Who can I thank?” Mingyu’s question brought you out of your thoughts.
“The woman in the store,” you lied. “Let’s go.”
Your neighbor’s backyard was full of laughter. You could hear it from outside your cottage. Walking up to the blue house, you felt your heart start pounding. Mingyu opened the door for you, and you were met with a scenery that you swore you had dreamed of. Large families - grandparents, parents, children - were all gathered. They were drinking, eating, playing - and it made you want to vomit. You pressed the bottle of wine into Mingyu’s chest, and he quickly took hold of it.
“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling that well… I think I need to go home.” You backed away from the house. “Tell the host my best wishes… and that I’m sorry." Mingyu probably tried to stop you, but you wouldn’t know since you quickly turned on your heel and briskly walked away. It wasn’t safe at all. Staying here wasn’t the paradise that your mom had made it out to be.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ You packed up your things the very next day and put them in your car. It was early in the morning, the sun had barely just started rising, and yet Mingyu was out for a run. He ran past your car as you were putting the second bag in.
“Hey there, neighbor.” Even his voice was hot. You looked over at him. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, which was sticking to his chest from sweat. A cap was placed on his head, but you could still see his face - shiny from sweat but pretty nonetheless. Could he just look bad for one moment? Just so that it could be easier for you to resist the urge to jump him…
“You run this early in the morning?” You asked.
“Only when I’m out here,” he said. “Are you leaving?”
“Yeah, I just… I don’t think nature’s for me.” You crossed your arms over your chest.
“How would you know?” He asked.
“Excuse me?”
“You’ve been here two days, and you’ve only been indoors.” You were stumped. He was right, of course, but you desperately wanted him to be wrong. He approached you, still breathing hard. God, you wanted to climb him like a tree.
“Listen, I can see that you’ve got something going on,” he said, “And I promise you, this is the best place to be when you’re wound up. If this was meant to be therapeutic for you, then I think you need to try a little harder than what you have.”
If it weren’t for the fact that he made you weak in the knees, you would’ve just walked away from him. You stayed, and you listened… and he wasn’t wrong.
“So then, what do you suggest I do?” You secretly hoped he’d suggest that you go home with him, but life wasn’t a porno…
“Well, I don’t know your struggles.” He shrugged. “But I can show you around, make you appreciate nature.”
“... I’d like that.” “Good.” He grinned. “Do you want to meet up later? Maybe after lunch? I was thinking of going out to the lake if you want to tag along.”
“Sure.” You took out the bags from the car and carried them back inside. Mingyu’s presence beside you made you heat up. He picked up the last of the bags and helped you carry them to the door. You thanked him with a small smile, and he gave you a wink before jogging over to his cottage.
Later that day, you change into a swimsuit and put on an oversized shirt to cover up while you walk over to the lake. With a towel under your arm, you went to look for Mingyu. Footsteps quickly approached from behind you, and when you turned around, you were met with a wonderful sight. Your next-door neighbor was running towards you, wearing black swimming shorts and an open button-up with lazily rolled-up sleeves.
“Hey there, neighbor!” he said with a grin.
He reminded you of a puppy - happy and always eager. When he had jogged up to you, you noticed the silver chain around his neck. You hadn’t seen it before, but now your eyes were fixed on the delicate chain. Maybe it was because you didn’t know where else to look, or the juxtaposition of such a delicate thing on such a brawny man was appealing to you.
“Eyes up here, sweetheart,” Mingyu joked, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“Sorry, I just…” You felt heat rise to your face. “It’s a nice chain.”
“Thanks.” He didn’t look like he believed you. “Ready to go for a swim?”
Mingyu took you to a small dock, where he left his towel and his shirt before he started wading through the water. You watched his back as he walked, his muscles moving under his skin hypnotizing you. When he looked back, he sent you a wink, making your heart skip a beat. You pulled off your shirt and started treading through the cold water yourself.
“How are you not freezing?” you asked.
“I am.” He laughed. “But if I started shivering, you wouldn’t come in!”
“Touché.” You smiled and approached him. The water was up to your hips now, but your legs were slowly getting used to the cold water. You heard him gasp and looked up to see him covering his agape mouth with his hands - as if he was pleasantly surprised.
“What is it?”
“You’re smiling,” he teased. “Are you enjoying nature yet?”
“It’s growing on me,” you admitted.
“Good,” he hummed. “Try closing your eyes.” You give him a strange look but still follow his instructions. After closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. The sound of a lonely bird echoed through the forest. The rippling water murmured secrets in a language you couldn’t understand, but you listened intently anyway. Your hands were hanging by your sides, the water weaving between your fingers. The stream wasn’t strong enough to move you, but you still felt it. After another deep breath, you opened your eyes again to see Mingyu proudly looking back at you.
“It’s nice, right?”
“Very nice,” you said.
“Come on, let’s go.” He started moving up the stream. “I want to show you something.” It didn’t take long to swim to the place Mingyu wanted to show you. A waterfall, not very tall but remarkable nevertheless, was flowing in front of you. Right by the top of the waterfall hung a swing on a tough-looking branch. It looked like something out of a paradise resort.
“I built that swing when I was a teenager,” he said. “And if we’re lucky, it’s not too old to use.”
“Wait, how old are you?”
“Just turned twenty-eight,” he said. “Don’t I look like it?”
“I thought you’d be younger- we’re the same age.” You looked back at the swing. “So, how young of a teenager are we talking?”
“I was seventeen.” He sighed. “It’ll hold… probably.” Mingyu helped you up the rocks, and the two of you got to the top of the waterfall rather quickly. You sat down next to each other, your legs dangling off the edge of the waterfall. Sticking your foot into the running water, you watched it bend around your body. After resting for a bit, Mingyu stood back up.
“Want to try the swing?” he asked.
“Only if you try it first.” You chuckled as you watched the man take a shaky breath. Mingyu took hold of the old rope. When he pulled on it, the old tree let out a croak - as if it was stretching after a long nap. With furrowed brows, Mingyu carefully climbed onto the swing - and it held his weight! You laughed and clapped his hands as Mingyu let out a victorious shout. The creaking continued as Mingyu began swinging, eventually flinging himself off into the pool of water beside the bottom of the waterfall. His head went underwater, and you held your breath until he popped back up to the surface.
“It’s safe!” He shouted, and you wolf-whistled as he got up to the more shallow part of the lake. “Your turn!”
“Oh no, I’m not doing that!” “You said you would!” Mingyu pouted.
“It’s part of your nature therapy, Y/N!” You loved it when he said your name… Mingyu would be the death of you. After finally managing to get onto the swing, with Mingyu cheering you on from the side of the lake, you began swinging. You let go of the ropes and jumped, shutting your eyes tight. Water encapsulated you before you got back up to the surface. Mingyu cheered and clapped for you, to which you responded with a shy smile.
“Fun, right?”
“Maybe a little…” you admitted as you walked back up to the shallow part of the lake.
You and Mingyu swam back to the dock where you left your things, and the two of you sat down on it. Your feet were still in the water, the stream tickling the lower half of your calves. When you had dried off and the weather got a little colder, you put your shirt from before back on.
“I had a really good time today,” you said.
“You don’t feel like going home anymore?”
“Not as much.” You looked over at Mingyu, who was already looking at you. “Thank you. I needed this.”
“Let me take you out tomorrow, too, then,” he said.
“Sure.” You nodded. “But I don’t know how you’re going to top this.”
“We can go on a morning hike,” he suggested.
“Mingyu-” You chuckled. “I’m not a morning person- I don’t think it’d be better than this.”
“You say that now,” he said. “But just wait until we’re standing up on the hill watching the sunrise.”
“Sunrise? How early do I have to get up?”
“I’ll pick you up at five.”
Despite not wanting to wake up so early, you did it anyway. After a day of swimming, you fell asleep early and woke up fifteen minutes before Mingyu was to pick you up. You dragged yourself out of bed, putting on your most comfortable workout gear. For whatever reason, you trusted Mingyu enough to let him take you out on this horrible morning walk. Trying to stretch the sleep out of your body, you moved around your living room in front of the big windows. When you got up from stretching out your hamstrings, you heard a knock coming from one of the windows. You looked over with big eyes, meeting the gaze of a smiling Mingyu. He was wearing the same jogging gear he had yesterday and a backpack slung over one of his shoulders. He waved to you, and you hurried over to the door. With a flushed face, you opened the door and welcomed Mingyu inside while you put on your shoes.
“Good morning.” Mingyu stayed on your porch, giving you space.
“Morning.” You stood back up and gave him a quizzical look. “Were you watching me stretch?”
“Just for a second, I didn’t want to scare you mid-stretch,” he defended himself hurriedly. “I’m not a creep, I swear.”
You stepped outside and patted his slumped shoulders. He reminded you of a puppy again, the way he was looking at you with big eyes and a slight pout. You were beginning to enjoy teasing him. “
I know,” you said. “Ready to go?”
“Of course.”
The two of you watched the forest wake up as you walked along the path Mingyu had picked for you. It was an uphill walk, which wasn’t what you needed this early in the morning. But Mingyu promised you that it would be rewarding, so you continued walking. The two of you were mostly silent, other than when one of you pointed out something you had seen. However, the silence was welcomed. It was, as Mingyu had said, very therapeutic. Despite feeling like it took forever, you were up on the hill before you knew it. Mingyu pointed out a small bench by the edge of a cliff, and the two of you sat down. He took out the backpack and gave you a neatly wrapped sandwich, along with a thermos of coffee. As the two of you ate breakfast, the sky started turning pink, and the sun started rising from behind the horizon.
“Wow,” you hummed.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” Mingyu nudged you with his elbow.
“It’s amazing…”
The both of you sat in silence for a bit more, but something started itching to come out from the back of your throat. Mingyu was playing with the paper wrapping from his now-eaten sandwich.
“So… why did you come out here in the first place?” Mingyu asked.
“It’s a long story…” You said, thinking he would put it to rest - even though a part of you wanted to tell someone about it.
“You can tell me, you know?” he said. “I won’t judge.”
So you did. You told him about Wonwoo, how suddenly the relationship had ended, and why it had turned out the way he did. You told him about Gyeong Hui and how you couldn’t even bring yourself to hate her despite what had happened. After that, you sat in silence. You thought he wouldn’t want to talk to you after this, but instead, he put a comforting arm around your shoulder.
“You’re strong.” His words made you scoff. “I’m serious. That’s more than enough for any other person just to give up, but you’re here. You’re trying.”
“Just because you made me.”
“I can’t make you do anything that you don’t want to do,” he said. “You could’ve left.” His words linger in the air. You could have left, why didn’t you? Was it just because you thought your neighbor was hot, or did his words reach you? Did it even matter? You were here now, feeling better than you had since the incident. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, leaning your head in the palms of your hands. Mingyu took his arm off you and let you be. You missed the warmth of his arm but appreciated the space he gave you.
“Well, thanks for bringing me out here,” you said.
“You’re helping me too. Now I have a reason to get out more.” He leaned back.
There was more to his story. You could tell by the tone of his voice, but you decided not to pry. If he wanted to tell you, he would. You looked out over the forest again. The sun had risen far above the trees now. When you leaned back on the bench, you noticed that Mingyu’s arm was leaning on the back of the bench. In a moment of hope and rashness, you leaned your head on his shoulder. You glanced up at Mingyu, seeing him smile before he wrapped his arm around your shoulders again.
“I don’t think I’ve ever watched the sunrise like this before,” you said.
“Really?”
“I’m not a morning person,” you reminded him. Mingyu chuckled, his chest rumbling as he did. You closed your eyes, taking another deep breath. This time it didn’t just smell like fresh air and dewy grass. You could smell his cologne as well. It was faint, but you could sense the woody smell of men’s perfume. You could probably fall asleep right there in his arms.
“We still have to walk back.” Mingyu made you open your eyes again. “Don’t fall asleep on me.”
“It's not my fault that you’re comfortable…” You sighed. Mingyu moved around, forcing you to get up despite your many protests. He helped you up, and the two of you began making your way home.
You kept seeing Mingyu for the first week of your stay, and towards the end of it, he offered to make you dinner. The two of you spent your time outdoors, hiking or going to the lake, so spending the evening making dinner in your small kitchen was more intimate than you were used to. However, you gladly accepted his offer - you hadn’t exactly been eating like royalty during your stay here. Cooking took effort, which you didn’t have the energy for. Seeing as the muffins Mingyu had given you the first time you met were delicious, it wouldn’t surprise you if his cooking was delicious as well. Mingyu came over with a bag of groceries that he immediately put in the kitchen. You were placed on watch duty - which was Mingyu’s way of saying, “Sit on the counter and don’t touch anything while I work,” and you couldn’t complain. You watched as he expertly cut up the vegetables and the meat, enjoying the view of his hands getting to work. His t-shirt sleeves were rolled up, showing off his biceps as he reached for plates and glasses. From time to time, he’d look over at you to see if you were watching - smiling when he caught you ogling at him. He took pride in his good looks, as he should.
“Is there anything you can’t do?” You said. “I mean this- and the muffins?”
“Oh, I didn’t bake those-” He chuckled. “I can’t bake, that’s for sure… I bought them from this little café that’s not too far from here. I’ll take you some time.”
“Sounds good.” You smiled at the implication that he wanted to keep seeing you, even though he had asked you to do things with him countless times before.
“Still, you’re still a natural talent at most things.”
“I can’t paint either,” he argued. “Paint?”
“I’m supposed to paint the living room in the cottage- my parents wanted it to be a lighter color,” he explained. “I’ve been putting it off for so long, but now all the furniture I’ve put away has started to bug me.”
“Tell you what…” You hopped off the counter you were sitting on and walked up next to him. “If this meal is as delicious as it smells, I’ll help you paint tomorrow. As a thank you for the meal.”
“Deal.” He grinned. “I’ll take it as a challenge.” He moved you aside so that he could get to the spices. His hands were only on your waist for a millisecond, but your skin was burning at his touch. While trying to contain your smile, you took your place on the counter once again.
The dinner was perfect, as expected. The food, the wine, the company… everything was to your liking. And when everything was over, you got to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Mingyu by the sink. He was washing the dishes, and you were drying them.
“I hate that this place doesn’t have a dishwasher,” you groaned.
“Doing dishes can be nice…” Mingyu said. “Given that you’re in good company.” Mingyu handed you a plate, and your fingers brushed against each other. Every time he touched you it sent sparks flying in your chest. You took the plate and started drying it. There were no other dishes in the sink, and Mingyu put his hands on it while he was waiting for you to finish.
“Well, I’m glad I can be good company,” you replied.
“You’ve been good company this entire week,” Mingyu admitted. “Although you have distracted me from what I was supposed to be doing.”
“I think that’s fair,” you argued. “You’re the one who convinced me to say, after all.” You put away the last plate and dried off your hands, giving Mingyu a fresh towel for his own hands.
Shamelessly, you stared at his hands while he dried them off with the towel. When you looked back up at his eyes, you knew that he had caught you. You didn’t mind - maybe it was the amount of wine you had consumed, or you had grown comfortable around your neighbor - and took the towel off his hands when he didn’t need it anymore, putting it on the counter beside you.
“I guess you’re right.” Mingyu watched you carefully as you walked past him to wipe off the other side of the counter. “I’m glad I did.”
“I’m glad you did too.” Mingyu encaged you against the counter, putting his hands on the wood on either side of you. His chest was pressed up against your back. His head leaned down by your ear - you could feel his breath fanning against you. You turned around, locking eyes with him again. The air was thick, and you needed to do something to stop the pounding in your chest. Your hands moved on their own when they moved across his chest, traveling up his neck and settling in his short hair. Mingyu glanced down at your lips and leaned in until your noses were touching.
“Mingyu…” you breathed out. “Kiss me.” At your command, he finally put his lips on yours. They were soft but slightly chapped, and they moved in harmony with yours. His hands went from the counter to your hips and to your hips to hoist you up. The kiss broke for a moment so that Mingyu could put you on the counter. Standing between your legs, Mingyu connected his lips with yours again. You cupped his face in your hands, trying to pull him impossibly close as the kiss got heated. The two of you only stopped to catch your breath, leaning your foreheads against each other.
“I’m not dreaming, am I?” Mingyu asked breathlessly.
“I hope not…” You connected your lips again. Mingyu took his time with you, lips moving slowly and passionately. You hadn’t felt like this in what felt like forever. To be intimate with someone again… it made you feel alive. Despite your head spinning, you couldn’t help but think about Wonwoo. You pulled away, Mingyu trying to chase after your lips before noticing something was wrong.
“I’m sorry…” you whispered as soon as you saw his worried eyes.
“No, no- it’s okay, Y/N,” he assured you. “It was too fast, I understand.”
“It’s just been so long-”
“I get it, sweetheart. Trust me.” The nickname, even in this situation, made your heart skip a beat. You caressed his cheek, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone. He sent you a warm smile, unlike the charming and flirtatious ones you had seen before.
“Are you sure it’s okay?”
“I don’t want to kiss someone who doesn’t want to be kissed,” he said. “There’s always next time, hm?”
“Next time,” you promised. Mingyu helped you off the counter, and you walked him to the front door. As he put on his shoes, you felt your chest grow empty. You knew that you didn’t want to go further right now, not when your mind was racing, but you wanted him so badly. Mingyu stood back up and took your hand.
“Don’t feel bad, okay?” He squeezed your hand. “I liked it while it lasted.” You looked down at your shoes, unable to keep his gaze.
“Are you still helping me paint tomorrow?” he asked and squeezed your hand again.
“Of course.” You looked back up at him for a second to give him a secure smile. “Goodnight, Mingyu.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He let go of your hand and opened the door.
As soon as he closed the door behind him, you crumbled to the floor. There was a part of you that believed that you had ruined this now. A black hole was growing in your chest. You liked Mingyu, but you still couldn’t get the image of Wonwoo out of your brain. Maybe this was your life now, finding new people but being cock-blocked by someone who wasn’t even in the room… someone who didn’t care about you anymore. If he had been able to move on, why couldn’t you? It had been a year since you took off your wedding ring and signed the divorce papers. It had been half a year since Wonwoo last called. You had deleted his contact from your phone, afraid that you would give in and call him on a whim. You couldn’t sink so low. There was nothing more to do than accept that you had been the other woman. If alternate dimensions existed, you wished that at least one of them let you stay with Wonwoo - or that the plan could’ve gone through. you wished that you never got to know that Gyeong Hui was a kind and gentle woman. You wished that she would’ve been a bitch… but she wasn’t. You had no reason to hate her - she didn’t drag your husband away from you. She was just a pawn in a game. You got up from the floor and made your way to your bedroom.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ The next day, you went over to Mingyu’s cottage in clothes that you weren’t afraid to get paint on. You couldn’t let what happened yesterday ruin what you had going on with Mingyu. So, despite your legs wanting to run the other way, you walked in through the open door to the cottage.
“Hello?” You called from the hallway.
“In here!” Mingyu shouted, and you followed his voice.
The inside of the house was similar to your aunt’s, although it was more classically decorated. When you found Mingyu, he was standing in the middle of a large room with no furniture. The furniture stood outside the room, cramped in a large portion of the corner of another room. The otherwise big brawny man looked tiny in the empty room. Mingyu had already started painting, as evident by the paint stains on his clothes.
“The paint is supposed to go on the walls, you know.” You leaned against the doorframe.
“Very funny…” He turned around to face you to show you a big splotch of paint on his face, trying to hide his smile by biting his lower lip. “I got paint on my face when opening the can… the rest is just brush accidents…”
You approached him and cooed as he pouted, cupping his cheeks in your palms. With your thumb, you tried to wipe off some of the paint on his face, but it was already dry.
“Help?” he murmured.
“Hand me a paint roller, Picasso,” you joked, and Mingyu grimaced.
The work got done quicker than expected. It was hard, and the room was warm despite the many open windows and doors, and it had you sweating buckets. The fact that you kept thinking about last night - his lips on yours - didn’t help. You desperately needed an ice bath.
“Do you think we’re done?” You asked as the two of you looked around the freshly painted room.
“I think so. Now we just have to clean up,” Mingyu said. He was looking at the many newspapers on the floor, protecting them from white paint, but you were still only staring at him. Any sentimental thought you had the day before had flown through the window. You were too hot, too tired, and too turned on to think about anything other than Mingyu. His shirt was sticking to his toned chest, leaving little to the imagination - not that you hadn’t already seen him half-naked.
“Y/N, are you okay? Do you need a glass of water?” he asked out of innocent concern.
“I’m just tired,” you lied.
“Are you sure? You look flushed.” He approached you, and you had to stop yourself from backing up against the wet wall. Mingyu managed to walk up right next to you and put the back of his hand against your forehead. It was colder than your skin, and you leaned into his touch. Your eyes closed, a soft sigh escaping your lips. It wasn’t the heat- it was Mingyu making you melt. Much to your dismay, he took his hand away from your face.
“Are you sure you’re okay there, sweetheart?” he asked with a small smile.
“You know what… I was going to act like nothing happened yesterday, but I need us to resume whatever we were doing back then right now.” You looked him dead in the eye.
“But I don’t want to push you-”
“You’re not pushing me…” You took a deep breath. “Please?”
You didn’t have to say another word before his lips were on yours again. The messy room was left to its own devices as Mingyu led you through the house - only breaking from the kiss to make sure he wasn’t running into anything. Clothes were flying off of you and onto any nearby surface. He picked you up, your legs swinging around his waist, and carried you upstairs to his bed. Falling against the plush bed, you let out a happy shout before Mingyu crawled towards you again. When your lips connected again, your head was buzzing. You were both only in your underwear by now, your sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other. Mingyu pulled away from you with a soft groan, his eyes still shut as he began grinding against you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Mingyu nuzzled his face into your neck, leaving chaste kisses on the sensitive skin. When you finally broke out in laughter, Mingyu came back up to look at you. You covered your face with your hands to hide from him - suddenly feeling shy.
“Hey, pretty,” he said and tried to remove your hands. “I want to look at you… come on…”
“I haven’t… the last time I did this was with him,” you said, knowing that he would understand who you were talking about. “I know it’s silly, but it feels strange.”
“It’s not silly.” He chuckled and finally managed to remove your hands. “It’s normal, but I want you to forget all that and just focus on us.”
The light coming in from the window gave away that the sun had started to set - its golden glow coloring Mingyu’s skin with a beautiful shine. Your hand caressed his cheek, and he leaned into your touch.
“Just us,” you repeated. “... could you get a condom?”
Suddenly, Mingyu’s peaceful expression turned into an annoyed one. He scrunched up his face and let out a groan, his head leaning back into the crook of your neck.
“I don’t have condoms,” he mumbled. The entire situation made you laugh, and it only made Mingyu whine louder. If it weren’t for how hard you could feel that he was, you would’ve kept laughing - but instead, you cooed at him. Your fingers ran through his hair as he buried his face in your chest. While accidental pregnancy was unlikely for you, you didn’t want to have unprotected sex with a man that you had only met a week ago.
“It’s alright, we can…” You sighed. “We can do that next time and fix your issue another way this time.”
“So there’ll be a next time?” Mingyu raised his head to meet your gaze. Your face grew hot as your smile widened. His eyes were big and hopeful, and you let out a laugh in disbelief at how he could be so adorable.
“Maybe…” you hummed.
“And you don’t want to stop now?”
“Just the opposite, please.”
Mingyu pressed a sweet peck to your lips before he went back in to devour you. You wrapped one of your legs around his waist, using it to flip the two of you around. He let out a grunt when his back hit the bed. Your lips parted, only for you to kiss down his neck to his chest. Mingyu’s chest was heaving, but you could feel his breath hitch when your lips ghosted over his skin. You settled between his legs, playing with the hem of his underwear.
“Is this okay?” You asked.
“Please.” Mingyu’s voice was hoarse as he begged for you. Pulling down the band of his underwear, you watched in awe as his thick cock slapped onto his abdomen. It shouldn’t be surprising that he was as big as he was, considering his height, but it still left your jaw slack. After ripping off his underwear, you put your hand over his cock - gently stroking it before you wrapped your hand around it and put it in your mouth. Bobbing your head up and down his length, you tried to take more and more of him.
“Fuck…” He gasped and reached his hand up to your head. “... can I?”
You let out a delighted hum and moaned around him when he grabbed your hair to push you further down. Gagging around his cock made Mingyu get louder - his moans echoing around the room. Your nails clawed at his thighs as your eyes welled up with tears. Peering up at him through your lashes, you saw Mingyu throwing his head back with his eyes shut tight. His hips moved on their own, shallowly thrusting his cock up your throat. You put your hands on his hips, holding them down, and got your mouth off of him, gasping for air.
“Shit- are you okay?” he asked with heavy breaths. “Did I hurt you?”
Seeing him all fucked out, his pupils blown out of proportion, and his lips slightly parted made you clench around nothing. You kept stroking his cock, forcing more heavenly noises to come out from behind Mingyu’s lips.
“I’m okay, baby,” you said. “Are you getting close?”
“Yeah- fuck, yes,” he whined. “Don’t stop, baby-”
You replaced your hand with your mouth, keeping the same speed and rhythm as you had before. He warned you that he was about to cum, but you didn’t stop. You watched his hands grip the sheets of the bed, throwing his head back against the pillow again. With a guttural moan, Mingyu came down your throat. You took your mouth off him, letting him ride out his high with your hand around his cock.
“Thank you, sweetheart…” Mingyu’s hips stuttered before his body went completely limp. A big grin was painted on your face as you crawled up his body. Mingyu’s eyes were full of lust as he reached for you. His strong arms wrapped around you, keeping you locked by his side. You pressed a few kisses on his jaw, making him whine.
“You keep surprising me, Mingyu,” you murmured against his skin.
“Good surprises, right?”
“All good,” you assured him. Mingyu’s grip around you tightened, and he flipped the two of you around again. Laying under him again, you finally noticed the small silver chain around his neck again. It was dangling right in front of you, and you couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and pull on it. Pulling on the chain brought him down so that his forehead was leaning against yours again. He smiled, pressing a sweet peck to the tip of your nose. Your face crinkled at the feeling, making Mingyu giggle. He giggled.
“You’re a big softie, aren’t you?” You grinned.
“Only on special occasions,” he said. Copying your actions from before, Mingyu pressed kisses down your neck to your chest. As you arched your back, he helped you take off your bra.
“You’re fucking gorgeous.” Mingyu kissed the delicate skin before moving down to your panties. “Want me to repay the favor?”
“Please?” At your quiet plea, he ripped off your panties. A yelp escaped your lips as he lifted your legs to rest on top of his shoulders. His lips ghosted over the inside of your thigh, sending a shiver down your spine as he got closer to your core. As he laid his tongue flat against your cunt, you let out a loud moan that you had tried to bite back. You could feel him smile against you before he went into lap at your clit. Sinful noises bounced off the walls of Mingyu’s bedroom. Your hands were in his hair, pulling at it whenever he found a spot that made you see stars. Mingyu was the kind of person who was always up for a challenge - and when he had gotten the first taste of victory, he couldn’t get enough.
“Don’t stop!” You practically shouted, forgetting that you still had neighbors even if you were in the middle of nowhere. Mingyu’s grip on your thighs tightened, making sure that you couldn’t help his relentless attack on your pussy. His tongue was inside you now, his nose bumping against your clit. You were practically riding his face with the way you were grinding against him. And when you felt your orgasm approaching, your hips stuttered. Mingyu, hearing the sound of your voice changing, picked up on the fact that you were close. With a steady pace, he guided you through your orgasm, letting you rock against him for as long as you needed.
Your body was spent afterward. You were almost completely unable to move. Mingyu crawled up next to you, maneuvering both of you to lay comfortably under the covers. He was lying beside you, and you had your head on his chest - you could hear that his heartbeat was finally starting to calm down.
“So…” He trailed off. “Yeah.”
You breathed out. The two of you lay there in silence. Despite just having shared a very intimate moment, there wasn’t anything to say. You listened to his breathing, finding the rhythm calming enough to fall asleep to. Your eyes were closed, and you were almost about to drift away to sleep when Mingyu’s soft voice brought you back to reality.
“Do you need anything?” he muttered.
“… maybe I should go to the bathroom.” You nodded and sat up. “You… it was… nice.” You stared at each other for a while before breaking out into awkward laughter. Even though you had been so confident with him earlier, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it again now. Something had changed between you - it was neither bad nor good, just natural. You pulled the sheets up to cover your chest - suddenly feeling vulnerable, despite already having shown him everything.
“Do you want me to get you a shirt or something?” He asked, noticing your change in demeanor. You hummed in response. Mingyu got up and walked over to his closer, and you tried not to stare at his naked figure. When he found a shirt for you to wear and clothes for himself, he walked back over to the bed and handed it to you. You pulled the shirt over your head, his scent surrounding you. His laundry detergent smelled fancy, and there was the slightest hint of the cologne that you had sensed during your hike.
“Thanks.” You got up and went to his bathroom.
“Y/N,” he said before you could go inside. “Do you want to stay over for dinner?” You turned around to face him, again trying your hardest to look only at his eyes. His hair was a mess, thanks to you, and he looked genuinely happy - a gentle smile playing on his lips and eyes that conveyed the same emotion. How could you say no to him? Especially since you had already tried his cooking once, you wouldn’t give up that opportunity.
“… sure.” You nodded and went into the bathroom.
After that evening, you continued this relationship - sleeping with each other, making food for one another, and spending as much time together as possible. You felt safe in Mingyu’s arms. Whenever he touched you, even if it was just a hand on your knee or cuddling while watching TV on the couch, you’d melt into it - trying to get as much out of it as possible. Slowly, you began recharging. It was as if you had been in hibernation this entire time, and spring had finally come to welcome you back to the world. Mingyu was your spring: warm, bright, and sweet. Between the two of you, something blossomed over the last week of your stay in the cottage.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ It was the last day of your stay at your aunt's cottage. Your things were neatly packed up, except for one dress, the dress that you had worn to the barbecue that you hadn’t gotten to enjoy. To reclaim the ruined evening, you and Mingyu had decided to dress up the way you had that day and hold your barbecue in Mingyu’s backyard. When you approached his gate that evening, you could already hear people laughing and talking in the backyard. An invisible wall stopped you from going any further. You stood completely still and fidgeted with your dress. Despite it being different from the first time, it still felt the same. However, you had promised Mingyu to come - and all of his hard work would go to waste if you didn’t walk through that gate. It was just a small metallic gate, painted in black and surrounded by a hedge. You swallowed whatever nerves were keeping you from going inside and opened the gate. Walking around the corner of the house, you were met with your neighbors in Mingyu’s backyard. As soon as you saw him, your worries melted away. Seeing that he had followed your plan to match outfits made you smile. Mingyu was standing by the grill with his back towards you but turned around as soon as he heard the gate close. You waved to him, and he motioned for you to come over. Standing next to him made it easier for him to wrap his arm around your waist.
“Welcome, sweetheart,” he said quietly, as if he wanted to make sure that no one else heard. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good,” you hummed. “Do I look okay?”
Mingyu looked at you up and down, drinking in your appearance, and pulled a grimace that screamed.
“Are you kidding?” He pulled you in a little closer and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Trust me; if it weren’t for the amount of people here, I’d take you right on-” You playfully smacked his arm before he could finish his sentence. Seeing your shy smile, Mingyu puffed out his chest with pride - biting back his smile.
“You look perfect,” he said.
“So do you,” you replied, making the man’s ear turn red.
At the end of the evening, you were the last guest in Mingyu’s cottage. Just like you had every other night, you were standing beside Mingyu doing the dishes. Lucky for him, he had a dishwasher, but the two of you still had to wash the things that couldn’t go in there. You were drying and putting dishes away while Mingyu was washing them. The both of you worked in comfortable silence, but you were itching to say something.
“Tonight was great,” you expressed.
“I’m glad you thought so, sweetheart.” Mingyu dried off his hands on a towel after he had handed you the last of the dishes. “You’re leaving tomorrow morning, aren’t you?”
“I am.” You sighed. “And you’re staying?”
“Just a few more days… I still haven’t finished moving all the furniture, thanks to you.” He nudged your side. “You should take responsibility for your actions.”
You scoffed and put away the dry dishes. Mingyu was silent for a while, which garnered your attention. You turned around to see him leaning against the kitchen island, looking at you wistfully. A strong urge to walk over to him, hold him, and tell him everything would be okay, rushed over you, but you stood still in your place by the kitchen counter.
“I’ll be lonely without you,” Mingyu admitted. You didn’t answer - you didn’t know what to say to that. Instead, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his neck. Mingyu moved on autopilot, wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You relaxed against his touch, letting out a breath that you didn’t know you had been holding in. Breaking the soft moment, Mingyu started leaving kisses along your neck and clavicle.
“What are you doing?” You let out a giggle at the ticklish feeling of his lips.
“Giving you a final going-away-present,” he muttered. His ticklish kisses turned into something that’d most definitely leave marks the next day. You let out a gasp as he found a sensitive spot right by your ear. With one of your hands, you moved Mingyu’s face so that you could look him in the eye. There was still a sad look in his eyes, but they were slowly being replaced by something more lustful.
“Bedroom?” You asked. Without another word, Mingyu picked you up and carried you to his bedroom.
You found yourself lost in him again. Mingyu was everywhere: his taste, his smell, his touch surrounding you and infecting your brain. Your bodies moved against each other slowly, letting out low grunts and subdued moans. He was leaning above you, and your legs were wrapped around his waist. The slow pace would have usually been almost painful, but now you never wanted it to stop. You needed it to be slow, take as long as it needed to, so you didn’t ask him to go any faster. Mingyu reached out for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, shutting his eyes tight as his lips parted to let out a string of curses.
“You okay?” You asked with a chuckle.
“I’m okay.” He took a shaky breath. “Just hold my hand…”
“I’m not letting go, baby,” you promised. His head fell into the crook of your neck, and Mingyu let out another moan. You laughed at his reaction, finding it sweet how much you affected him. Your laugh got cut off by a moan when Mingyu began thrusting harsher into you - still not faster, just harder. He left wet kisses along your clavicle, whining against your skin. The two of you had been doing this for what felt like forever, and the stimulation was taking over him.
“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned.
One thing about Mingyu, when you got him going it was hard to stop him. You knew that he had been close to cumming several times already, and each time he had found a reason to pause. He had been edging himself for possibly an hour or more, and by now, his brain was fried. You took his face in your hands, bringing him up to look you in the eye and cooing at his clouded expression. It wasn’t like you weren’t drunk on lust too, but Mingyu was way further gone than you. Now that you had him like this, mindlessly thrusting into you, you knew he wouldn’t stop until you were cumming all over his cock. You almost felt bad for him. He needed someone to take care of him- he needed you to take care of him.
“Do you want to cum with me, baby?” You asked quietly between moans. Mingyu nodded, putting his head back in the crook of your neck. With the hand that wasn’t holding yours, Mingyu brought his hand between your bodies to rub your swollen clit. Your jaw went slack, wanton moans escaping you without a single care for who heard. Mingyu’s thrusts grew quicker, chasing both his own and your high. As your orgasm came rippling over you, dissolving you into pleasure, Mingyu came as well. He chased his breath between every other moan. His voice strained from how much he had been using it. Your hands played with his hair as he continued subtly grinding against you until his body fell limp against you.
You fell asleep holding Mingyu but woke up with his back turned against you. Without realizing that you were doing it, you had reached out to touch the skin where his neck met his shoulders. Your fingertips followed the crevices and curves of his form, your eyes following them - studying him. No matter how many times you looked at him, you always found new things. A mole here, a wrinkle there - everything felt sacred to you like you had discovered something important each time just because they were a part of him. You could look at him like this all day. A feeling started blooming in your chest, a feeling that you didn’t want to acknowledge or ever think of again. Mingyu stirred in his sleep, making you pull away your hand from him. The truth was that you were falling for him. Every time you kissed him, it just felt right, but you still felt the need to try it over and over again - just to see if it was real. He made you nervous in the best of ways. He made you laugh until you cried. More importantly, he made you feel loved. This feeling reminded you too much of Wonwoo, and you had to leave. Your things were already packed in the back of your car, you had never given him your phone number, and there was no way he could ever meet you again. Despite ignoring it for as long as you could, you knew that this was how it had to end. You recognized this path all too well, and you couldn’t be the other woman for a second time. As you kissed Mingyu's shoulder, you whispered out
“Goodbye” - and you left without a trace. When you got home to your mom’s apartment that afternoon, it was empty. Your mother’s absence didn’t stop you. There was no going back now. You had to build yourself up again. The traveling bags stayed in your car, and you started looking for apartments right away.
You had money saved up already, but after you had managed to sell your old apartment, you had enough money to move overseas if you wanted to. Nevertheless, you settled for a small apartment in a good neighborhood. It was smaller than your last apartment but had beautiful, big windows. There was one bedroom, a kitchen attached to a smaller living room, and a gorgeous bathroom. It was more than you could ask for. The money you had gotten from selling the apartment wouldn’t last forever, of course - you had to get a job. Despite wanting to escape your old life, you didn’t want to give up every aspect of it. You managed to find a job at a prestigious primary school situated near your apartment. You had contacts there through charities that you had helped Wonwoo set up - he proved to be of help for something, after all. It wouldn’t be like teaching kindergarten, but you were up for the challenge. Everything was going your way; you had your apartment, you had a pretty good job, and you had made it all on your own. Maybe it was destiny. What if the whole thing with your ex-husband was meant to be? So that you could be independent so that you could be happy. However, there was no way you could deny the fact that you missed Mingyu. You felt bad for what you did, and you’d never really forget him, but you couldn’t get the possibility of heartbreak out of your brain around him.
You spend a year like this, living each day without thinking about what might happen in the future. Every morning you wake up around six am. you got up, made a quick breakfast, got in the shower for a few minutes before getting dressed, and finally left for work. The primary school you worked at was close enough for you to walk to, and you had grown to enjoy your daily stroll - especially on a sunny spring day like this. However, it all was ruined when you heard someone call your name. Turning around to see who it was, you were met with Wonwoo walking out of a café. He was with other people in suits, but they let him be as he excused himself. You were frozen in your place. You could only watch as he walked towards you. He looked tired, new-parent-tired, but otherwise, he looked the same.
“Y/N?”
“Hi, Wonwoo.” You sent him a tight-lipped smile.
“I haven’t seen you in so long- how have you been?” He looked apologetic but smiled nevertheless.
“I’m good,” you replied. “I got a job at a primary school near here… Everglade Primary School.”
“Oh really?” He gave you an impressed nod. “It’s quite prestigious, isn’t it?”
“A little. The kids are great.” You nodded. “... how have you been? Is everything alright with Gyeong Hui?” You were secretly hoping that everything was horrible for him, and as the thought struck you, you got a dreadful feeling in your stomach.
“Oh, uhm… she’s great. We’re actually… we’re expecting again,” he said quietly as if the words would break you if they were too loud. “It’s been difficult… our daughter just started walking, and we’re trying to handle her while simultaneously handling the pregnancy… It's a lot.”
“I could imagine.” You nodded. “Do you… do you have any pictures?” Wonwoo pulled out his phone and showed you his lock screen. A small babe in pink overalls. She was adorable. Her large eyes looked just like Wonwoo’s.
“She has your eyes.” You said as he put his phone back in his pocket.
“A lot of people say that.” He tried to hold back his proud smile. He was happy. You should be happy for him, but all you felt was a pit growing in your stomach. “I wanted to apologize, Y/N.”
“Apologize?”
“For how everything turned out, I mean…” He looked down at his shoes. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright-” The embarrassment heating your face made you speak without thinking first. “I’m seeing someone new.”
“Really?” Wonwoo raised his eyebrows as he looked back at you. “Good. I’m happy for you. So, who’s the lucky guy?” Did he have to be so perfect? Here he was, feeling happy for you when you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same. The lies came bubbling up your throat again before you could stop them.
“His name is Mingyu,” you said. “We met last year.”
“Well, I hope it works out for you.” He smiled. “And that I get to meet this Mingyu sometime.”
“Of course.” You nodded. “Listen… I have to get to my students… but it was good to see you again!”
The two of you said goodbye and went your separate ways. You had no idea why you had decided to lie. Maybe it was because he was doing so well- you just wanted to make sure that he didn’t think you were alone and sad… although you were alone and sad. There was a very big chance that you would never meet him again, which would mean that you wouldn’t have to show him your “new boyfriend”. It was a harmless lie… hopefully. The lie had made you think of Mingyu again and how it would’ve been if you had waited for him to wake up that morning. Maybe he would’ve turned around and hugged you close, making some comment about how he forgot to close the blinds the night before. Then you would’ve had breakfast together, and before you left to go home, he would’ve asked for your number. Maybe you’d be living with him in an apartment now, just the two of you in a cozy condo. You couldn’t keep thinking like this. It’d just ruin you. So you shook off the lonely feeling and put on a smile for your morning class.
The rest of your day went on normally, teaching your second-grade class and also starting to teach the third-grade class. Their old teacher had fallen ill, taking an indefinite break, and you had offered to take over. It meant that you had more work to do, but you didn’t mind. You spent the day helping them with spelling and reading, and towards the end of the day, you let them do arts and crafts while they waited for their caretakers to pick them up. The school had a system where you needed to check off the caretakers who came and picked the kids up, which allowed you to talk with all of the kids’ grown-ups. Usually, you would chat with the caretakers of each kid while they got ready to leave. For some reason, it had become your favorite part of the day - except when the parents were rude, of course. There were only two kids left in your classroom now; the twins Kim Jiu and Ari. They were sweet kids, Jiu slightly shyer than her sister. There were three names on the list beside theirs; their grandparents and their father. From the history, you could see that their grandparents were usually the ones to pick them up. However, they always seemed to be on time. You sat down next to the girls, the two of them still drawing and unbothered by the time they had spent there.
“Hey, girls,” you said, getting their attention for a second before they returned to their drawings. “Do you remember if your grandparents told you that they’d be late today?”
“Our dad is picking us up,” Ari said.
“Is he always a bit late?” you asked, and Ari nodded.
“He works a lot,” Jiu said. She was focused on her drawing. It was a yellow house with green vines growing on it. You looked over her shoulder, finding the house oddly familiar. She mumbled that it was her grandparents' house in the woods. Before you could ask her more questions, the doors to your classroom opened. You recognized his voice before you even had to look at him.
“Sorry, I’m late, girls!” Frozen in fear, you wondered how your past might have snuck up on you twice today. When you finally turned your head to look at the girls’ dad, you saw Mingyu. He was wearing a suit, his hair slightly longer than the last time you had seen him, and his eyes were big with shock.
“Daddy!” Jiu shouted as she ran up to hug her dad’s leg. Mingyu looked away from you to crouch down to hug his daughters, both Ari and Jiu engulfing him. You watched as the girls rambled on about their day. Glancing back at your list, you looked at the father’s name: Kim Mingyu. Maybe you should have known. With a deep breath, you mustered up the courage to walk up to them. Mingyu stood up to greet you.
“They’ve behaved well, I hope,” he said. You knew he recognized you, you could see it in his eyes, but you understood why he couldn’t say anything in front of the twins.
“Oh, they’ve been wonderful. They’ve been welcoming,” you said. “It’s my first day teaching their class.”
“I saw the email.” He nodded and looked down at the girls. “I told them to be on their best behavior.”
“Well, thank you.” You clasped your hands in front of you.
“Are you busy right now?”
“Uhm… no.”
“Could you… follow me out to the car? I have to talk to you.”
Of course, you usually don't follow people out to their cars… but this wasn’t any other parent. You nodded and followed them outside. You recognized his car as the one you had seen standing outside his cottage. Mingyu got his girls into their car seats and closed the doors, making sure they couldn’t hear anything. He turned to you, unable to look you in the eyes at first. Your heart was already beating a mile per minute, but it only quickened when Mingyu met your gaze.
“You left to become a primary school teacher?” He asked, somewhat jokingly.
“I was already a teacher before I met you,” you explained. “And I left because I knew I couldn’t commit to you- which was maybe for the best, seeing as you have kids. Were you married all this time?”
“I’m widowed,” he said calmly. “Their mother died in childbirth.” Your worries melted away. You hadn’t been the other woman again. The worry was replaced with embarrassment and sorrow for both the man in front of you and his kids. How could this day keep getting worse?
“I’m sorry-”
“It’s fine,” he interrupted. “You didn’t know… and I should’ve told you about Jiu and Ari- I was going to eventually.” There was a pause. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Mingyu reached for your hand, but you quickly stepped away.
“Your kids are in the car,” you said. “We shouldn’t be discussing this here.”
Mingyu reached for his pocket, pulling out a silver rectangle box. It was thin, and when he opened it you could see it was filled with a few cards. He picked one of them up and handed it to you. Kim Mingyu, CEO. His number and the name of his company stood under it in the same black font.
“I want to talk to you again.” He put the box back in his pocket. “Please, call me.”
You accepted the card, studying the letters before looking back at the man in front of you. He wore the same wistful smile he had that last evening in his kitchen. You had never wanted to kiss someone this badly.
“You should go,” you whispered.
“I know,” he murmured. “For what it’s worth… I’m glad I got to see you again.” Unable to say anything, afraid that the tears would come pouring out if you did, you simply nodded. You watched him get in the car before leaving to go back to your classroom.
When you got home that evening, you didn’t know whether you should cry or shout out of happiness. All of these random occurrences made you believe in destiny. To celebrate, you took a hot shower and made yourself a gourmet dinner in the form of your favorite instant ramen, only to sit down on the couch to watch some bad show on Netflix. The card Mingyu gave you sat on the coffee table, distracting you from the movie you had picked. You picked it up and turned it around - fiddling and playing around with it. A sigh escaped your lips, and, with a lot of effort, you sat up and paused the movie. Dialing the number on the card, your thumb rested over the call button. If you didn’t call, he’d just show up to pick up his kids the next day - and that’d be more awkward than a simple phone call. You pressed the green button and put the phone next to your ear, bringing your knees up to your chest. It rang three times before he picked up.
“Hello, this is Kim Mingyu.” He sounded irritated.
“Hi, it’s Y/N… is this a bad time?”
“Oh, Y/N.” His voice immediately changed when he heard who it was. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else… how are you?”
“I’m good…” You took a deep breath. “Are you?”
“I’m fine, sweetheart.” The name slipped out of his lips naturally and causally, but it made your heart flip in your chest. “I just put the kids to bed, so we should have some time to talk.”
“Mingyu…” You cringed at the shake in your voice. “I’m sorry for walking out on you.”
“I understand- you had your reasons,” he said. “I’m sorry for not telling you about the kids.”
“We didn’t talk much, did we?” Mingyu’s laughter was like heaven to your ears, even if it was short and quiet. The tension in your shoulders started fading away.
“You’re right,” he said. “We should meet up sometime. Talk things through.”
“We definitely should…” You bit your bottom lip to try to contain your happiness. “Maybe for coffee?”
“A public space sounds smart.” Mingyu chuckled. “I’ll look at my schedule… I’ve been pretty busy lately.”
“Is that why your parents have been picking up the twins?” you asked without thinking.
“It is,” he admitted. “I try to do it as much as I can… it’s just hard being a single dad.”
“If it helps, your girls seem to think the world of you,” you said, remembering the way their faces had lit up when he walked into the classroom.
“Thanks, Y/N.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll try to pick them up more… Are you always there during pick-up?”
“Don’t change your schedule to come see me at work,” you joked.
“Can you blame me?”
“I guess not.” You grinned. “... I’m taking care of Ari’s and Jiu’s classes all days except for Mondays. I’ll be there for their play at the end of the month too.”
“Shit- I forgot about the play…” Mingyu groaned. “You know what? I’ll make time for it… I just have to move some things around in my schedule.”
“They’ll be very pleased if you show up,” you promised. “Those girls have been working extra hard, from what I heard.” You heard someone crying in the background and Mingyu cooing at, who you thought must be, one of his daughters. He was holding the phone away from him, but you could hear his comforting words and the shuffling of clothes as he probably lifted the child into his arms.
“Sorry, Y/N, Ari had a nightmare,” he said in a hushed tone. “I’ll see you soon. We’re still on for coffee, right?”
“Of course,” you hummed. “Don’t forget the play.” “I won’t,” he promised and hung up.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ PART TWO. After that phone call, Mingyu kept picking up the girls. He couldn’t do it all the time, of course, but he tried his hardest to show up. Mostly for his girls, especially after you told him how excited they get when they know he’s picking them up, but in part because he gets to see you again. Moreover, the increase in the days he would pick them up wasn’t going unnoticed by the twins. It was late afternoon.
Everyone had left the classroom except for Jiu and Ari, who were sitting in their places drawing. You had been cleaning up, but as soon as everything was put away and the tables were wiped, you sat down next to the girls - which is when you noticed an unusual detail in Jiu’s drawing. Ari always used to make scribbles, preferring to finger-paint or make interesting patterns across the paper with a pen, but Jiu always drew things as she saw them. This time, she had drawn a family portrait. On the page were two smaller people and two taller people. It was a man and a woman. The twins had never met their birth mom, but there was still a woman on the paper. You tried to calm down your nerves - but what if this was a cry for help? What if Jiu needed counseling and she just didn’t know how to say it? She was the quiet one of the two, so it wouldn’t surprise you if she had decided to hold it all in. Not wanting to make a scene, you decided to start a conversation with both of the twins.
“What are you making, girls?” you asked the both of them, looking over at Jiu’s painting with a tinge of worry in your chest.
“A rainbow flowerfield,” Ari said casually as her pen ran across the paper.
“A family portrait,” Jiu said quietly, intently focusing on the details of the grass.
“... could you tell me more about your painting, Jiu?” You studied the four figures on the page.
“That’s dad, me, and Ari.” She pointed out the figures on the paper, eventually getting to the fourth figure. “And that’s you.”
“Me?” You didn’t know if you misheard her, but Jiu nodded confidently. “Why am I in your family portrait, Jiu?”
“Because Dad talks about you all the time,” Ari answered for her sister. “And when Dad comes to pick us up, he always stays and talks with you.”
“You girls are attentive…” You cleared your throat.
“What does attentative mean?” Jiu asked. Before you could answer, Mingyu knocked on the already-opened door to gain your attention. You looked up at him, all of your thoughts disappearing at the sight of his smile.
“Ready to go, girls?” He asked.
“Gotta go, Mom.” Ari put away her things and grabbed her painting before running over to her dad. You hoped that Mingyu hadn’t heard her, but one look at him said otherwise. His eyes were wide, confused over whether he should laugh it off or be concerned. He opened his mouth to say something but shut it when he looked over at you. Jiu was still gathering her things and with Ari hanging onto his leg, Mingyu walked over to the table where the two of you sat. You stood up immediately, walking away to pretend that you were busy.
“It happens all the time,” you said, looking over your shoulder. It didn’t happen all the time, maybe once or twice per semester.
“I’m so sorry- I think it’s because they see us together so much and-”
“It’s because you talk about her all the time,” Ari interrupted her father. “And she takes care of us when you’re not here, like a mom.”
Mingyu’s face went red and avoided your gaze. Ari’s comment gave you the confidence to walk over to the small family again, having the upper hand now that you knew he talked about you.
“Do you talk about me, Mr. Kim?” you teased.
“Maybe sometimes- you know, before they have to go to school, I tell them to not cause any incidents for you,” he stammered out. "Last night, you asked if Ms. Y/L/N was sick,” Jiu added to the conversation, aiding her sister in the battle against their dad.
“Because you looked a bit tired,” he explained. “And I care about this school's staff- as anyone should.”
“But you never talk about Mr. Hong,” Ari said, “You only ask about Ms. Y/L/N.”
“Alright, girls, I think it's time for us to go home now.” Mingyu ushered the girls towards the door.
“But I want to stay with Mom.” Ari grinned widely, seemingly enjoying making her dad embarrassed.
“I won't go if she doesn’t.” Jiu joined in, crossing her arms over her chest and making her sister do the same.
“Girls, this is really inappropriate-”
“I could go get something to eat right now…” you said. “You girls like cake, right?” The twins cheered, hurrying to get their backpacks and coats. Mingyu looked over at you with a relieved expression. You walked over to your desk to grab your things, and when you turned around, you were met with a thankful-looking Mingyu.
“Cake always works,” you said. “It’s okay right?”
“Of course.” He smiled before turning to the girls again. “Let’s get some cake, ladies!”
There’s a cute little café around the corner from the primary school. You had gone there to celebrate your new job when you first got there, and you remember that their cakes and coffee were delicious. The four of you found a free corner of the booth, where the two girls got to sit on the couch while you and Mingyu took the chairs on the opposite side. While the twins were enjoying the cakes they had gotten, you were waiting for Mingyu to bring over the coffee. He came over with a small tray; standing on it were two cups of coffee and a piece of red velvet cake.
“You still like red velvet, right?” he asked.
“I do- but you didn’t have to.”
“It’s an apology,” he said. “For putting off our date for so long.”
You smiled and let your objections die down. One thing was for sure, Ari had gotten her stubbornness from her dad - and you didn’t want to start something you knew you would lose. Looking over at the two girls talking between themselves, then back at Mingyu, the realization of what you were doing washed over you.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you mumbled.
“I’m happy you are, though,” Mingyu answered. “When Ari’s put her mind to something, she won’t stop until she gets her way.”
At hearing her name, Ari turned to her dad and stuck out her tongue - to which he, of course, responded by sticking out his tongue at her as well. You chuckled at the interaction and took a sip of your coffee.
“It’s a nice trait.” You put your cup back down. “And she finally got me that promised coffee date with you.”
Mingyu put a hand on your knee under the table, trying to convey that he was sorry for not doing this sooner. You sent him a gentle smile in return, making him take his hand away. You picked up the spoon from the tray, sliced into the cake with it, and took a first bite. It wasn’t as good as the muffins Mingyu had given you, but it was still lovely. Using the spoon to get another piece, you held it up to Mingyu’s lips this time. Holding your gaze, he let you feed him. For a moment, everything else disappeared. You had forgotten just how much Mingyu’s eyes could make you feel. However, the moment was ruined as you heard giggles across the table. You quickly put the spoon down and pretended like you hadn’t just gotten butterflies in your stomach.
“I’m glad you can be our mom,” Jiu said suddenly. “The other lady wasn’t as nice as you.” The other lady? You looked over at Mingyu again with an arched brow, silently asking him to explain himself.
“I was seeing someone before I met you. It ended pretty quickly… that’s why I spent some time at the cottage last year,” he explained, and the tension in your shoulders disappeared. “It isn’t nice to talk behind people’s backs, okay kids? And Ms. Y/L/N isn’t your mom.”
“Why not?” Ari asked.
“Because…” Mingyu tried to find an answer but trailed off instead. You weren’t one to put yourself into other people’s business, but explaining things to kids was your job - and you trusted that Mingyu wouldn’t take offense to you saying a few words at this moment, especially not since he kept glancing over at you.
“You know when you really like someone?” You said, getting the girls' attention. “You might decide that you’re going to hold hands or be together, right?” The two girls nodded. “We adults do the same thing,” you explained. “Except for us, there’s a stage before we say that we’re together. We spend some time getting to know each other better by going out and doing things like getting dinner or seeing a movie.”
“Are you doing that right now?” Jiu asked.
“Not exactly…” You looked over at Mingyu, who gave you a supportive nod. “Usually, you spend time alone together, and I haven’t gotten to do that with your dad… so we’re not together, and that’s why I can’t be your mom.”
“Then I think he needs to hurry up,” Jiu deadpanned before taking the last bite of her cake. Glancing over at Mingyu again, you saw how flustered he had gotten from the comment. You decided at that moment that you’d join the girls in their teasing - seeing his flushed face was enough motivation.
“He should hurry, shouldn’t he?” you said, and both of the girls nodded. “Well, I’ll forgive him since he’s been so busy - but he needs to make up for it.”
“Could he take you out to dinner tomorrow night, then?” Mingyu asked with a sheepish smile.
“What do you think?” You turned to the girls. They were both furiously nodding, making you break out into a chuckle. You turned back to Mingyu, pretending to think it over. He looked like he was about to fall apart, so you decided to put him out of his misery. “Absolutely.”
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ It’s a Saturday evening when you’re getting ready for your date. You had spent your day at home, trying to find an outfit to wear for your night out. Mingyu had texted you to wear something pretty, but that it should be comfortable for you. With the vague directions, there were a myriad of things that you could put together. You hadn’t been on a real date since before Wonwoo - unless you counted what you and Mingyu did at the cottage as dating. The expectations were high, which left you feeling stressed. However, when you find an old dress in the back of your closet, you feel the tension in your shoulders melt away. It was a dress you had bought two years ago that you hadn’t gotten to wear yet - you had bought it yourself, which was unusual during your last relationship, without a plan for when you were going to wear it. You had just bought it because it was pretty, and it still managed to make you feel beautiful. For once, during these traumatic few years, you felt pretty and subsequently happy. You knew you shouldn’t base your happiness on your beauty, but was it so wrong to feel glee over getting ready and genuinely liking what the mirror showed you? The apartment phone rang, and you pressed the button to answer. A surge of energy went through your veins at the thought of Mingyu coming to get you - your heart quickening to a pitter-patter pace.
“Hello?” You said.
“Hi, sweetheart.” His voice rang sweetly in your ears. “Could you let me up?”
“I’ll come down to meet you!” you chimed. Mingyu’s soft chuckle even managed to make you weak in the knees over the apartment phone.
“Alright, I’ll see you soon.” When the elevator doors open, you can see Mingyu’s figure through the glass of the front door. Sprinting toward the door, you excitedly pulled it open to see all of him. Mingyu smiled as soon as he saw you, making your heart feel even warmer. His eyes traveled up and down your body, drinking in your appearance. He looked fantastic himself, in his usual suit and perfectly styled hair.
“Hi,” you said as you closed the door behind you, unable to look away from him.
“Wow,” was all Mingyu said.
“Do you like it?” You looked down at the dress, twisting and turning so that he could see a little more of it.
“You look stunning,” he said, holding his hand out for you to take. “I love it.”
You take his hand, and he guides you away from the apartment complex. His words made you feel giddy, the kind of feeling you get when you watch a very romantic movie with a handsome lead. At the end of the street, you see a cab waiting for you. The walk to the car is silent but filled with anticipation. Mingyu’s hand is warm in yours, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand. When you arrive at the cab, Mingyu opens the door for you and holds your hand while you get in before he gets in beside you. The evening started with drinks. As you had expected, the restaurant he took you to was fancy. You had been to these kinds of places before, but it had been a while - and you had never been to this particular place. Mingyu ordered for you, per your request, and you ended up being pleasantly surprised. The food was almost too pretty to eat, but when you did, it was like your mouth had an orgasm. Your eyes widened as you chewed, looking over at Mingyu to see if he was having the same experience. He was looking at you with an amused smile.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“More than okay.” You put down your fork as if you could take a break from the intense flavor. “This is delicious.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Mingyu chuckled.
“I do- I mean, maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten something like this in a while…” You picked up your wine glass and brought it to your lips.
“Well, it’s our first date, so it has to be special.” Mingyu was looking down at his plate, an uncharacteristically shy smile playing on his lips.
“It is special.” You put your hand, palm facing up, on the table. “I’m happy you asked me out.”
Mingyu put his hand in yours, locking eyes with yours again. The two of you look at each other, the rest of the restaurant fading away. Butterflies fly out of your ribcage, tickling the insides of your chest with their wings. Mingyu looks like your dream man; kind eyes, a pretty smile, and a beautiful man in general - the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. Not only that, he was kind and understanding; patient and confident. The waiter walking over to give the two of you your next meal was the only reason you broke out of your trance. You thanked the waiter and ogled at the delicious-looking food. Another waiter came by to pour you more wine. While you were reacting to your surroundings, Mingyu stayed looking at you lovingly.
“Do you want to go dancing after this?” He asked suddenly.
“Dancing? What kind of dancing?”
“Ballroom dancing,” Mingyu said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I know a place.”
“Why am I not surprised?” You chuckled. “Sure, I’ll go dancing with you.” Mingyu squeezed your hand before letting go to start eating.
After dinner, the two of you get back into a cab and travel from the city towards the suburbs. You had no idea where he was taking you, but you trusted him fully - maybe it was the alcohol, or Mingyu had truly laid out all of his cards on the table for you to see. In the back of the cab, you were sitting cuddled up next to Mingyu. His warmth was intoxicating, and you found yourself sinking further and further into his shoulder. Outside, the city lights grew fewer and fewer as you got closer to your destination in the suburbs. There were the occasional streetlights, but they were less bright than everything in the city. Darkness lulled over you like a parental blanket, urging you to close your eyes and sleep in the comfort of Mingyu’s presence. However, before you could fall asleep, you had arrived at your destination and Mingyu helped you out of the cab. You had stopped in front of a beautiful, old building with large windows. Music was playing inside, which you could hear from where you were standing on the sidewalk, but it was too muddled to figure out what it was. The chilly air woke you up somewhat, but sleep still lingered in the corner of your eyes.
“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet, sweetheart.” Mingyu came up beside you after paying for the cab and let you hook your arm around his. “This is one of my favorite places, I’m practically a regular, and I want you to enjoy it with me.”
“Then I have to stay awake, don’t I?” You steadied yourself against the man beside you and followed him inside the establishment. When you walk inside, Mingyu says his name to the receptionist, and they let him inside. He wasn’t lying when he said he was a regular. The corridor was wide and lit with warm-tinted lamps, giving everything a golden hue. It looked straight out of an Art Deco architecture magazine; marble floors with a geometric design, dark green walls, and golden details here and there. You were glad that you hadn’t fallen asleep - especially as you approached the ballroom. It was a large, round room - in the middle of which people were currently dancing. You could see a few people who looked to be around your age, but most of them seemed to be pensioners.
“You weren’t joking about ballroom dancing,” you said. “Why would I?”
He grinned and offered you his hand. “Would you like to dance with me?”
“Oh- well, I’m not any good-”
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Mingyu grabbed your hand and dragged you out to the dance floor. One of his hands rested on your waist while the other still held yours. It was a simple foxtrot, but you still had trouble following along. You kept stepping on Mingyu’s feet, cringing every time you did. However, when you tried to look down to see what you were doing, you were quickly corrected by Mingyu. He’d remove his hand from your waist to lift your chin back up, making you face him. Each time you’d huff, and he’d chuckle at your annoyance. It all became a little easier when a little slower song came on: Body & Soul by Billie Holiday. Mingyu brought you in a little closer, your chests touching completely. His cheek leaned against yours, and his hand on your back traveled up to rest right by your shoulder blades. The two of you simply swayed, moving in small steps around the room. In this relaxed tempo, you could finally stop and think.
“Why are you a regular here?” You asked.
“I’m not really,” he explained, “They’ve held a few charities here that I’ve donated to, and sometimes they hold events here for the people at the retirement home that you can volunteer for. I go whenever I have the time, so they’ve seen a lot of me.”
“Are you even real?” You jokingly asked as you removed your cheek from his to take a good look at him. “Is there anything you can’t do?”
“Well…” He breathed out. “There’s this woman that I’m practically head over heels for… but I can’t seem to get my shit together and kiss her, even though it’s all I can think about.”
“Oh?” You raised your eyebrow at him, playing along. “Tell me more about this woman.”
“Alright... First of all, she’s gorgeous,” he hummed. “More importantly, she’s warm-hearted, and she’s great with my kids- which is a big deal breaker for me… and I admire her strength, how she can keep going after what she’s been through.”
“Yeah?” You wrapped both of your arms around his neck.
“Yeah,” he said.
“I think she wants to kiss you, too,” you admitted. Mingyu put his free hand on your cheek, bringing you in for a chaste kiss… followed by another, slightly longer one. The two of you stopped moving, focusing on just getting closer. When he pulled away from you, he started smiling proudly.
“As much as I loved being here, I really want to leave with you now,” you murmured.
“Your wish is my command, sweetheart.” Mingyu pecked your lips a final time before leading you off the dance floor.
Outside the venue, the air was colder than it had been when you had gotten out of the cab earlier that evening. Noticing your shivering, Mingyu shrugged off his jacket and put it around your shoulders. You were about to protest, but feeling the warmth wrap around you made you quiet down.
“Thank you,” you said to him.
“I can’t have you getting a cold on our first date,” he mumbled. “Do you want to walk around for a bit? This place is peaceful at this time of night.”
“I’d like that.” You gave him a nod and a smile, locking arms with him again. Mingyu walked slowly with you down the street. It was peaceful, as he had said; most of the lights in the houses were off, but the few homes that were still awake gave the street a certain glow. It all feels magical, too good to be true… which it is. You don’t recognize him at first. You only see a couple walking with their stroller. However, when they get closer, you can’t help but recognize your ex-husband. Surprisingly, he doesn’t see you at first - he notices Mingyu first.
“Kim Mingyu!” He said with a smile and a wave. “What are you doing all the way out here?”
“Mr. Jeon.” Mingyu goes to shake your old lover’s hand. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you since our meeting.”
The two of them talked while you stood frozen in fear. Do they know each other? How had you never seen them together before? Your eyes went over to the stroller, and seeing the baby in it made your heart sink. She looked like Wonwoo - you had seen his baby photos, and she was almost a complete replica of them. Gyeong Hui gave you a bittersweet smile, looking at you with knowing eyes. She had already recognized you. Looking back at Wonwoo, who was still talking to Mingyu, you wondered if he was happy. All of these thoughts were washed away when you finally met Wonwoo’s gaze. For a moment, you forgot that he had moved on from you. His eyes were kind, a soft smile on his lips. However, as quickly as he managed to make you feel comfortable, he also made your nerves worse.
“Y/N…” he said. “Hi.”
“Hi, Wonwoo.” Your voice was weak, more so than you wanted to.
“Ah… is this the Mingyu you were talking about?” He pointed between you and Mingyu, and you could feel the man next to you tense up.
“I… uh…” You looked at Mingyu, who didn’t show a twinge of confusion despite you being caught in your lie. “Yes.”
“Well, I’m glad you found someone like him.” Wonwoo approving of your relationship was the last thing you wanted. You didn’t want him to have anything to do with your new relationship - you just wanted him out of your life. After some small talk, you go your separate ways. Wonwoo goes home with his family, and you’re left standing, feeling like the husk of yourself. Mingyu’s hand rested on your back, rubbing it comfortingly.
“I didn’t know…” he said.
“It’s okay,” you muttered. “I’m sorry about telling him I was seeing you- I didn’t even know what I was thinking. I just met him while on my way to work- I hadn’t even seen you since the cottages, but I just blurted out that we were dating and-”
“You don’t have to explain,” he interrupted. “It’s a little flattering in a way.”
You chuckled, immediately feeling lighter as he joked it away. Mingyu brought you in for a hug, letting you bury your face in his warm chest. Wrapping your arms around him, you felt tears start burning in your eyes. When Mingyu heard you sniffle, he put his hand on the back of your head - silently telling you to stay and cry for as long as you need to. You grip onto his shirt, probably creasing the expensive material. You couldn’t bring yourself to fully sob, but a few tears escaped from the corner of your eyes.
“Do you want me to call a cab and take you home?” Mingyu asked. You nodded, and Mingyu immediately pulled out his phone. Standing outside your apartment complex, Mingyu was still holding your hand. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying in the cab, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“I’m sorry for ruining tonight,” you said.
“You didn’t.” He squeezed your hand. “I knew that things wouldn’t be completely normal with you, and I’m fine with that.”
“Stop being so perfect,” you jokingly groaned and leaned your head against his shoulder.
“Sorry, I can’t help it.” Mingyu laughed. You looked back up at him. Even if it was just a joke, to you, he truly was perfect. His big puppy-dog eyes looked back down at you as if he were trying to figure out what you were thinking about. When you leaned a little closer, Mingyu took the opportunity to lean down and press a kiss on your lips. It was chaste and sweet but left you wanting more.
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” As Mingyu went to leave, you didn’t let go of his hand. You couldn’t.
“... could you stay with me tonight?” You asked.
“Are you sure? You don’t want to be alone?”
“If you have a babysitter at home, I get it.” You put your other hand on his. “But I want you here, Mingyu.”
“Well, I can’t say no to that.” He smiles. “The girls are with their grandparents. I’ll just tell them that I’ll come by a little later tomorrow to pick them up.”
Mingyu made himself at home in your apartment, sitting with you on the couch while a movie is playing on the TV. Your head is on his chest, and Mingyu’s arm is wrapped around you. The domestic scene feels just right as if you’d been doing this for years together. However, as it gets late, you realize that you don’t have any clothes for Mingyu to borrow. He was still in his suit, sans jacket, and that couldn’t be too comfortable. So, while Mingyu was washing up in the bathroom, you were furiously looking through your wardrobe to find something for him to wear. You were so focused on the task at hand that you didn’t hear Mingyu walking into the room.
“Did you lose something?” He asked. His sudden question made you jump, quickly whipped around to look at him. Mingyu was holding his neatly folded clothes in his hands, putting himself on full display. He was standing confidently in nothing but his underwear as if he was straight out of a Calvin Klein ad.
“... I was going to find you something to wear.” You looked him up and down. “I guess that’s not an issue anymore.”
“Don’t act like you haven’t seen me naked before,” he joked.
“No, I-” You huffed. “I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable.”
“I appreciate it, sweetheart, but I’m fine just like this if you are.” He put down his clothes on a nearby chair. “And if you want me to sleep on the couch, I’ll do that.”
“I want to sleep with you.” You regretted it as soon as you said it, twisting your face in embarrassment as you heard Mingyu chuckle. “I mean… I want to sleep next to you… I’m going to wash up. Make yourself comfortable.”
Before Mingyu could tease you, you left the room. You could hear him laugh behind you, making your cheeks get even hotter. After washing up in the bathroom, you change into your somewhat embarrassing pajamas and go back to the bedroom. Mingyu was lying in your bed. The covers dragged up to his mid-torso. He was scrolling on his phone but looked up as soon as he heard you come in. His eyes focused on your white pajama pants with small red hearts, a big grin appearing on his face.
“Don’t laugh,” you warned.
“They’re cute,” he assured you. Mingyu reached over to the other side of the bed, pulling away the covers for you to get in. Walking up to the side of the bed, you hesitantly sit down. You hadn’t slept in the same bed as him for over a year. It felt weird to see him like this like you were trying to remake a distant memory. Nevertheless, you lay down and pull up the covers. As Mingyu turns over to turn off the light, you watch his back carefully. A need to reach out and touch his bare skin fills you, burning in the bottom of your stomach. When Mingyu turned back around, he shuffled closer to you but didn’t touch you yet.
“... do you still like to cuddle to fall asleep?” he mumbled. Y
ou nodded and immediately shut your eyes as Mingyu wrapped his arms around you. His body was warm, and every muscle in your body relaxed under his touch. Your head was on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. At first, Mingyu’s hands stayed still on your back. However, they soon started moving around - drawing circles on your skin over the fabric of your shirt and even letting his fingers slide under the hem of your shirt.
“Mingyu…” you hummed.
“Yes, sweetheart?” He asked innocently while his hands continued feeling you up.
“What are you doing?” You smiled, burying your face deeper in his chest.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.”
Mingyu’s hand made their way to the top of your pajama bottoms. Grazing the skin under the fabric, he whispered out if it was okay - to which you whimpered out a yes. He pulled down your pants to your mid-thigh, groping your ass before turning you around to lay with your back against his chest. You felt his semi-hard cock poking against your ass. The anticipation of finally feeling him inside you again made you dizzy. His hand cupped your pussy over the thin material of your underwear, then let his hand up to the hem of your panties… only to go past them and rest on your lower stomach.
“Gyu?” You mumbled as you were brought out of your daze.
“Are you sure you want this?” he muttered against the skin of your neck. You turned around to look at him. His pupils were blown out, but his eyes were still filled with worry. You got closer to him, pressing your lips against his in an attempt to show him how much you needed him right now. Mingyu responded to your kiss but pulled away just a few seconds later - his lips ghosting over yours.
“I just mean that you were upset before– I didn’t think before I started this,” he explained softly. “And I don’t want you to feel like you have to or do it because you’re not in the right state of mind… you just looked so pretty, and I-”
“Gyu,” you repeated, getting him to stop talking. “I want you.” Your lips reconnected, and you could feel Mingyu smiling against you. You cling onto Mingyu’s shoulders as he turned you over to be on top of him. In the middle of your kiss, you managed to kick your pajama pants off - only breaking contact to let out a soft giggle at the strange situation. Sitting comfortably with your legs on either side of his hips, you began pressing quick kisses to his jaw. Trailing kisses down his neck, you find a sensitive spot right by his ear - that made a whine slip out between his lips when you attached your lips to it.
“I thought I had figured out how to push all of your buttons already,” you muttered against his skin.
“Guess you’ll have to keep experimenting on me.” He grinned. “I’m a willing test subject.”
“Of course you are,” you purred. You got down to his hips, pulling at his underwear until he helped you take them off. His big cock slapped against his abdomen, and your mouth watered at the sight. While Mingyu’s hands were gripping your pillows, you were trying to take his entire length in your mouth. Peering up at him through your lashes, you could see his face contorted in pleasure.
“I missed your mouth so much, baby,” he whined, and you hummed in response. “Fuck… you’re gonna make me cum from just that…” He gently grabbed your hair and pulled you off him. “Save it for another time,” he rasped. “I need to fuck you, please…”
“Do you have a condom?” you asked. “I don’t have any here…”
“No… but I got checked just a couple of months ago. I haven’t been with anyone since you last year,” he admitted.
“Are you asking me if you can fuck me raw?” You grinned.
“Yes?” You crawled back up to kiss him, letting him taste himself on your tongue. He moaned into your mouth, and you felt yourself getting more and more lost in pleasure. Mingyu grabbed your hips, subtly moving them over his abs. Feeling the soft ridges over the material of your panties made you whine. You broke the kiss, trying to catch your breath.
“Fuck me. I need you to take control of me,” you murmured. “Do what you want with me– just let me forget everything…”
Something in him snapped, and before you knew it, Mingyu had flipped you over, manhandling you to have your ass up in the air. Your chest was pressed against your mattress, your face hidden in the pillows. His cock, after having teased your entrance, stretched you out. He hadn’t prepped you for it at all, but he had gotten you wet enough to slide it in without much effort. A soft moan of relief left your lips as he bottomed out.
“Move,” you grunted. He followed your orders immediately, pulling out almost completely before thrusting back into you. You could picture his expression in front of you; his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes shut tight, and his mouth hung wide open. His hands were gripping your hips, pulling you back as he thrust his hips. The noises he was making were almost animalistic and mixed with the filthy sounds coming out of your mouth, you knew you were going to get a noise complaint. You couldn’t help it, and you didn’t care. Mingyu had never been so domineering before - asking him to take full control of you must have flipped a switch in his brain. So when he pulled you up by your hair, wrapping an arm around your middle to hold you there, you let out a surprised gasp. His thrusts continued while he started kissing the side of your neck.
“I’m better than him, aren’t I?” He grunted. At first, his words didn’t meet your brain, too far gone to process what he was saying. But when you finally understood what he had said, you were shocked at his bluntness. More importantly, you were shocked at how much you liked it.
“Yes,” you moaned. “
Say it.” “You’re better than him,” you whined. “Fuck– you’re bigger than him, too!”
“Yeah?” He thrust harder into you. “Gonna make you forget all about him… do you want that, baby?”
Words couldn’t come out of your mouth. Your jaw was slack, Mingyu coaxing moan after moan from your throat, and you could only nod. With inappropriately gentle hands, Mingyu helped you lay down with your back on the bed. The empty feeling you got when he pulled out of you made you whine, but you were soon shut up by Mingyu burying himself in you again. As he continued thrusting, his lips attached to your clavicle - trailing down to your chest to let his tongue slide over the pebbled flesh. Your fingers entangled themselves in his hair, holding him there.
“You’re making me feel so good, Gyu,” you whined, followed by a string of curses. “Please, make me cum!”
With a new motivation, Mingyu’s lips left you as he focused all of his energy on your cunt. Thrusting into your sopping hole and rubbing your clit until you were convulsing under him. As your eyes rolled into the back of your head, you saw a bright light and felt a warmth spreading from your core. After your orgasm, your limbs grew limp, and you didn’t even have the energy to open your eyes. Mingyu pulled out of you, cumming on your stomach after pumping his cock in his hand a few times. He collapsed beside you, making sure not to crush you with his body.
“Sweetheart?” His voice rang sweetly in your ears, making you smile. “Are you still awake?”
You hummed, turning to hug him closer. He welcomed you in his arms, and when your sweaty skin met his, you could swear that you could feel static between you. After a while of staying in the same position, you found yourself almost falling asleep. You knew that you’d hate yourself in the morning if you didn’t clean up, so you gently tapped Mingyu’s shoulder to get his attention.
“Can you help me to the bathroom?” you whispered. “Sure, sweetheart.”
Mingyu got up, stretching slightly before he picked you up like you weighed nothing. He carried you over to the bathroom with your guidance and put you down to draw the two of you a bath. You handed him some of your bath products - calming serums, bath bubbles, the works - which he put in without question. When your bathroom started smelling like an English garden and the bathtub was filled with water, Mingyu helped you into the tub and then sat down behind you. You settled in your place, relaxing your muscles in the hot water, and leaned your back against Mingyu’s broad chest. A sigh escaped your lips, and Mingyu chuckled.
“Feeling tired?” He teased, and you nodded.
“Yeah,” you breathed out. “It was worth it, though.” Mingyu wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck. He pressed chaste kisses to your sensitive skin - suddenly so different from the way he was before. You turned your head to give him more access, but Mingyu’s kisses stopped.
“It was good then?” he asked with a slight hint of worry laced in his tone.
“Really good.” You looked at him over your shoulder. “I didn’t know you had that side in you.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” He pecked the side of your mouth. “You’ll find out.”
You grinned and turned back around, settling back into your previous position. The two of you sat there for a while until the water wasn’t quite as hot anymore. When you got back out, you drained the bath and washed off quickly before wrapping yourselves in fluffy towels. Your legs were still sore, but not as much as they were before the bath. Still, Mingyu insisted on helping you back to bed. After laying you down, he pulled the covers over your body and went around the bed to get in himself. Neither of you had bothered with putting on new clothes, and you found yourself enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours - nothing was in between you.
“Do you want me to stay tomorrow?” Mingyu asked suddenly.
“Why wouldn’t I want you to stay?” You chuckled. “I thought you might want space,” he mumbled.
“I’ve had enough space from you,” you reminded him. “Stay for as long as you want, Gyu.” Mingyu let out a giggle - you would never get over the feeling you got from hearing this big, confident man giggle. His arms wrapped a little tighter around you, pressing your face into his chest, and he put his chin on the top of your head. Mingyu’s giggle was contagious, almost like he was transmitting his energy to you.
“What?”
“I like it when you call me Gyu,” he said.
“Good,” you hummed. “Sleep well, Gyu.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss on the top of your head. You stayed with your ear pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It started out fast, but as he slowly fell asleep, it started slowing down as well. The rhythm made you drift away to sleep.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ PART THREE. The next time you saw Mingyu, it was unexpected. You had decided to go to the park to enjoy the spring warmth and an excellent book. It was Sunday the week after your date, which meant that you didn't have any work, and you could do whatever you liked with your time. The thought of asking Mingyu if he wanted to meet up certainly popped into your brain, but you assumed that he was busy. You had been texting him frequently, and he had shown up to pick up his kids almost every day the past week, but you still felt a little awkward to ask him out suddenly. The possibility of rejection was too high - he could be busy with work or with his kids, and you didn’t want to interrupt either of those things.
The park was big, another plus of living in a well-off neighborhood, and it had many benches where you could spend your leisure time. The weather was just right, not too cold and not too hot. There were some concerning dark clouds in the sky, but they were too far away for you to care about them. Most of the park was just fields, which was perfect for the dogs running around, but there were also small patches of trees and a few playgrounds here and there. It was a peaceful scene this early in the day. After walking for a while, you found a spot by a small duck pond with a bench looking over the water. After sitting down, you pulled out your book and started reading. It felt nice to get out of your apartment. if you hadn't, you would've been sitting on the couch watching yet another show by now. The thought was tantalizing, but being here was better for your overall health. Besides, if you hadn't ended up sitting down at that bench, you wouldn't have met up with Mingyu. In the distance, you could hear a familiar pitchy voice shout your name. When you looked up, you saw two kids running toward you.
“Ms. Y/L/N!” Ari shouted with a big smile, her sister running right beside her.
Behind them, you could see Mingyu walking towards you. He was unusually dressed down - just light-wash jeans and a white collared shirt under a thin jacket - but it suited him. You put your finger where you left off on the page before closing the book. A smile spread across your lips as you watched the two girls approach you, and you put the book back in your bag to greet them.
“What are you guys doing here?” You asked as they reached the bench you were sitting on.
“We decided to take a morning walk to the duck pond.” Mingyu had caught up with the twins, now standing just a little bit away from the bench. “We tried our luck on the other side of the pond, but the ducks over there didn’t like us.”
“He was going to feed the ducks with us, but the ducks swam away,” Jiu explained.
“Yeah…” Ari disappointedly looked up at her dad, “He scared them away.”
“I was trying to get closer to them!” he exclaimed with an embarrassed look on his face. You let out a soft laugh at the trio. Their antics were endless, but you enjoyed watching the show they put on. A small ache took its place in your chest. Watching them made you remember the family that you had always wanted.
“Dad's also helping us practice for the play,” Jiu added. “Because he said he can't come on Friday, so he wanted to watch us do it now.”
You had almost forgotten that the play was just in a few days. Seeing the brave faces the girls put on, despite clearly being sad at the knowledge of their dad’s absence at the play, made your heart sink.
“You can't be there?” You furrowed your brows as you looked up at Mingyu.
“There's a meeting I have to be at, and it ends right as the play is supposed to start.” He sighed. “I told them I would try to make it, but, you know…”
“Well, I heard that they record the plays, so... maybe I can get you a copy of that,” you suggested. “But I do hope that you at least try to get there, even if you only see the last parts.”
"Of course…” He nodded, and the conversation faded into silence. “... I texted you this morning.”
“You did?” You took your phone out of your bag. “Sorry, I put my phone on silent earlier.”
It was a short message, a simple question if you would like to meet up in the park. You smiled when you saw it. When you looked back up at him, he was looking away. A slight blush was spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.
“Dad said you couldn't come with us to see the ducks. Did you change your mind?” Jiu asked. Her question made Mingyu's face grow even redder, and your smile grew fonder. You looked down at Jiu, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.
“Yes, I did,” you said and stood up.
“Oh, but if you're busy-” Mingyu started, but you quickly cut him off.
“I'm not busy,” you assured him.
Mingyu’s smile when you told him you’d join them made your heart soar, and you realized at that moment that you’d do anything to make him happy. You spent the day with Mingyu and his daughters, feeding the ducks, going to the playground, and simply enjoying each other's company. Towards the middle of the afternoon, the clouds that you hadn't bothered being worried about were a lot closer than before. Mingyu helped the girls zip up their coats before he turned to you. You were just wearing a blouse and a skirt since you weren't expecting to stay at the park for so long. It was cold, but nothing you couldn’t handle.
“Are you cold?” Mingyu asked, although he was already shrugging off his jacket.
“I’m fine, Mingyu,” you tried to protest, but it was in vain. Mingyu's jacket engulfed your shoulders as he draped it around you. He fixed the collar of the jacket to hang securely, also letting his hands stay near you. You looked up at his face. He was staring right at you with a warm look in his eye. You remembered the night you had spent together last week, wishing to go back there.
“I wouldn't want you to catch a cold,” he murmured. “You take care of my kids, after all.”
“Is that the only reason?” you asked, faking being offended.
“Of course not,” he said with a small smile as he gently pushed some hair out of your face. He opened his mouth to add something, but before he could it started raining. Small droplets landed on your nose. You looked up at the about-to-be-downpour and took a step away from him.
“We should go home,” Mingyu said, turning to his girls. “What do you say, girls?”
“Will Ms. Y/L/N come with us?” they asked.
“No, girls, I have to go home.” You crouched down to their eye level. “But I will see you tomorrow, okay?”
They both nodded and unexpectedly swung their small arms around your neck - the force almost making you stumble backward. You hugged them back and glanced up at Mingyu.
“I will see you tomorrow, too then?” He asked as you stood up.
“Of course.” You smiled. “I have to return this jacket, after all.”
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ The very next day, you were in your usual classroom, waiting for Mingyu to pick up his daughters. They were the last ones there, as they always were, but this time it was getting very late. You were stealing worried glances at the clock every other minute. What if something had happened to him on the way here? It was late enough for you to call him up and ask him where he was, and if he didn’t pick up, you’d need to call the kids’ grandparents.
“Did your dad say that he would be later than usual today?” You asked the girls carefully.
“No,” Ari said. “But he looked tired, so maybe he fell asleep.”
Before you could question her any further, Mingyu barged in through the door. If you thought seeing him in jeans and a t-shirt was weird, it was even stranger to see him in sweatpants. Like Ari said, he looked exhausted - even sick.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, and you couldn’t tell if he meant it for you or his twins. “I didn’t mean to be late, and I fell asleep in my study-”
“Slow down-” You tried to interrupt his ramblings, but he ended up interrupting himself with a sneeze.
“Mingyu, are you alright?” You got up from your chair and approached him. At first, Mingyu was apprehensive to let you near him. However, he didn’t have the energy to get away from you and ended up even leaning into you when you put your palm against his forehead.
“You’re burning up,” you mumbled.
“I just have a small fever, I’m…” He let out a soft sigh as you repositioned your hand to cup his cheek. “That feels nice.”
The girls giggled behind you, reminding you that they were still there and that you should try to not make a scene to worry them. Despite how endearing Mingyu looked right now, you took your hand away from his face. He was stumbling even though he wasn’t moving, and you quickly got him to sit down in a chair.
“Why didn’t you let your parents pick them up?” You whispered to him. “You didn’t go to work like this, did you?”
“I did... they sent me home, so I worked in my home office,” he explained with a goofy grin. “It's a lot nicer to work from home. I don't have to dress up... but I didn't want to miss seeing you, so I didn't bother asking my parents.”
Your blood started pumping with irritation as he kept smiling. He was taking this way too lightly - this was his health he was talking about, and he was joking it away. Did he just not care?
“Kim Mingyu, you are so incredibly irresponsible,” you said, making his smile fade away. “You should be resting… Did you drive here?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I’ll drive you home.” You sighed. “Is that okay with you?”
Mingyu handed you his keys, which you quickly accepted. This was definitely against some sort of work code, but you didn't care. These girls needed to get home safely, and Mingyu needed to rest as much as he could.
“Let’s go, girls,” you said. “I’m taking you home.”
You walked out with Mingyu leaning against you and the twins following close behind. Lucky for you, your coworkers were nowhere to be seen - probably because of the late hour. It went smoothly to get out of the building, and the parking lot was pretty much empty too. You remembered what Mingyu’s car looked like and found it with minimal guidance from the man beside you. After getting the girls into their respective seats and buckling their seat belts, you got into the driver's seat. Mingyu was sitting beside you, leaning his head against the headrest. Now that he could settle down and had his eyes closed, he looked peaceful. You still had his jacket from yesterday that you had tucked under your arm before walking out of the building. Mingyu was shivering despite you turning up the heat in the car, so you took the jacket and draped it over his chest. Looking back at the girls, you tried to look confident and not like you were worried sick about their dad.
“Are you ready to go home, girls?” You asked and they both nodded. Turning back to face the wheel, you took a deep breath before starting the car. You drove them to their home, following the GPS' orders carefully. Mingyu was asleep during the drive, and the girls sat in the backseat, whispering and giggling. When you got to the destination, you had to wake him up, shaking his shoulder gently while keeping your eyes on the road.
“Sorry to wake you,” you murmured. “Where am I supposed to park?”
“It's this house right there. Just park the car right in front of the garage... I'll fix it later,” he mumbled.
It was a big, modern house - probably newly built just a few years ago. Big floor-to-ceiling windows took up most of the otherwise white walls with dark wooden details. It was pretty much a box with a lot of interesting extensions, giving the whole house a very structured geometric feel. Shaking off the wonder you felt from just staring at the outside of the house, you parked and got out to help the girls. Mingyu went out shortly after you, still stumbling slightly as he walked towards the door.
“I’ll unlock the door,” he said with a yawn.
The inside of the home was well decorated and had dark wooden floors, matching the exterior details. There was a big living room area, which was connected to a patio. You could see back into the garden through the big glass sliding doors, quickly noticing a pool back there. The kitchen was also in the downstairs area. The cabinets were black, and the floor was lined with classic black and white tiles. Everything looked neatly put together, especially compared to your apartment. You helped the kids with their shoes and jackets, letting them run ahead after you were done. Mingyu took off his shoes by himself before slumping against the wall.
“You should go to bed,” you told him.
“Will you go with me?” He asked in a flirtatious tone.
“You’re getting on my nerves today…” You sighed and tried to bite back your smile. “I’ll put on the TV for the girls and help you to bed. Is that okay?”
Mingyu nodded, and you quickly went into the living room. The twins were already sitting on the couch, whispering between themselves.
“Do you girls want to watch something?”
“Yes, please!” They sounded in unison. You turned on the TV, after a few tries, and put on a show that the girls said they wanted to watch. They were sucked into it before you knew it, and you hurried over to Mingyu, who was still slumped against the wall.
“Let’s get you to bed,” you murmured. “Where’s your bedroom?”
“Upstairs.” Mingyu’s bedroom was neat, but the bed was unmade. Everything was decorated in black, giving it a sleek look. Leaning against the headboard, you helped Mingyu get into bed and pull the covers over him. You sat down on the edge of the bed, watching him with worried eyes.
“Did you get sick yesterday?” You asked.
“I’ve been feeling a little under the weather for a while now,” he explained. “But I don’t think yesterday helped.”
“I’m sorry.” You took his hand in yours, bringing it to lay in your lap.
“It’s not your fault, sweetheart,” he said. “Thank you for taking me home… you were right. I was being irresponsible.” “Do you need anything else? I can make dinner for you and the girls.”
“That’d be very nice.” He nodded and closed his eyes. “I’ll help you. I just need to rest for a bit.”
“No, you won’t.” You sighed. “You’re going to rest up. I’ll bring food to you.”
“Thank you… please take care of the girls first. You can give me my food after putting them to bed- actually, I could get it myself. Just tell me when-”
“Mingyu,” you warned. “Let me take care of everything. I’ll put the girls to bed and get you food afterward, okay?”
“Okay…” Mingyu took a deep breath. “Their bedtime is eight o’clock sharp. Their room is down the hall to the right, in front of my office.”
“I’ll take care of it,” you promised and tucked him in a little better. “Rest well, okay?”
Mingyu let out a grunt for an answer as you got up to leave the room. Taking a final look at the sleeping Mingyu, you close the door behind you. The upstairs area wasn't as big as the downstairs area, but it was around the same size as your entire apartment. You looked around in awe, never having imagined that this was what Mingyu's home would look like. Despite having two kids, he kept everything clean - at least you thought so until you saw the kids' room. Toys were scattered here and there, but there was still enough space to walk around in the big room. There were two beds placed in separate corners of the room and a door to a closet in one of the corners. There was a window right in between the beds, allowing light to flow inside. The mess wasn't a big problem, just some stuff on the floor - it was easy enough for you to put away. You didn’t deep clean it, but you put away the toys where you thought they should be - a box with other toys in it put under the window. Once that was done, you explored further. You found the upstairs bathroom, where you noticed a toothbrush stand with three toothbrushes standing next to each other and one empty slot. After the bathroom, you found Mingyu's study, which you only took a glance at. This room was even messier than the girls' room. It was probably because he had left in a hurry before. Tissues were piling up in the trash, and papers were all over the dark wooden desk - as well as a few lying on the floor. The blinds were closed, leaving the room feeling closed off. You quickly left that room, not wanting to intrude any more than you already had. On your way to the staircase, you passed the upstairs bathroom and a room right in front of Mingyu's bedroom that you had somehow missed. The door was closed and even though you were curious, you decided to let it stay that way. When you got down the stairs, you found the girls still watching TV. Their attention went away from the screen as you came in to check on them.
“Are you feeling hungry?” you asked, and they both nodded. “Do you want to help me make some food?”
Making food with the girls was a fun experience. They were helpful when they were helping you find utensils or ingredients, but they still messed around a little. Whenever they had done something they shouldn’t have, like hiding the spices from you, they would let out a cute giggle. It would always give them away, but you still played along with them. After making dinner and tucking Jiu and Ari into bed, you got a plate of the leftovers and brought it up to Mingyu's room. The room was still dark, and he was still lying in bed in the same position you had left him in. Maybe he had shifted around a bit because his hair was a bit messier than before, but except for that hint, you couldn't tell. You sat down beside him and put your hand on his arm.
“I have some food for you,” you murmured. “And water.” Mingyu opened his eyes ever so slightly, shifting in the bed to bring his hands up to his face to rub the sleep out of his eyes. When he was done, he sat up, leaning his back against the headboard.
“You’re too nice to me,” he muttered in a raspy, sleep-laced voice.
“You would’ve done the same to me.” You handed him the glass of water. “Drink.”
You put the plate of food on his bedside table while he drank. A nervous feeling started spreading in your chest, suddenly realizing the position you were in. To combat these unfamiliar emotions, you got up and started closing the blinds.
“I put the girls to bed,” you said as you worked on closing the blinds. “They weren't very happy to go to sleep when you hadn't kissed them goodnight yet.”
“They get antsy if we don't follow the routine.” He chuckled. “Could you hand me the plate?”
After picking the plate back up, you sat down next to you. Without thinking, you took the spoon to feed him, like you used to do with the stubborn kids at the kindergarten you worked at before. Mingyu looked a little shocked but accepted the spoon by opening his mouth. Only after he had taken the bite did you realize what you had done.
“Oh- I’m sorry.” You felt heat rise to your face. “I didn’t mean to be patronizing- it’s an old habit from my last job-” Mingyu’s laugh stopped your rambling. You attempted to give him the plate, but he pushed it away. He couldn't get a word out, still trying to chew through the fit of giggles. His hand was over his mouth as he looked away from you. If he were to look into your lost puppy dog's eyes, he would start laughing again.
“It’s alright,” he said eventually. “I don’t mind being pampered… especially not by you.”
Your eyebrows shot up over your forehead. Mingyu motioned for you to come a bit closer, and you shuffled a few inches closer to him. He looked expectantly at the plate and then back at you. With a slightly shaky hand, you brought another spoon of food to his mouth, which he gladly accepted. Seeing him genuinely happy over this made you a bit more comfortable. You shuffled even closer to him, sitting down in a better position to feed him. It felt strange, and you couldn't help but chuckle at his happy expressions.
“Your cooking is good,” he mumbled between bites.
“It’s just something I threw together.” You brushed off his compliment. “It’s nothing special.”
“Thank you anyway,” he said before taking the last bite. After putting away the plate on the bedside table, you went to get up, but Mingyu grabbed your hand before you could leave. He peered up at you through his eyelashes, and you could’ve melted at the sight. Gently, he pulled you back towards him, and you sat down without any resistance. He let go of your hand and put his hand on your thigh.
“I’m sorry for causing so much trouble for you today,” he said. “It’s alright,” you hummed. “I wanted to help… and cooking with the kids was nice.”
“Well, I’m happy you could enjoy yourself.” He had a look in his eyes that you couldn’t figure out, but it was warm and loving. You wanted to know what he was thinking - what he thought of you. Suddenly you started hearing giggling from behind you. When you turned around, you saw two black-haired heads peeking out from the side of the doorframe. Your body was in the way for Mingyu to see them, but his daughters were grinning widely at the sight of the two of you. Even though he couldn’t see them, Mingyu understood that they were there from your reaction and the sound of their laughter.
“Girls, it’s bedtime!” Mingyu dictated with a stern yet kind tone of voice.
“But we didn’t get to say goodnight to you,” Ari argued. The girls ran inside the room and crawled up on the bed. You were about to get up to give them space when you noticed that Mingyu's hand hadn't moved from your leg. He squeezed it gently, and when your eyes met his, it looked like he was silently asking you to stay. So you sat there with them, watching as Mingyu spoke with his daughters and apologized for not saying goodnight earlier.
“I’m a little sick, so I had to rest,” he explained to the girls. “I’m sorry I missed your bedtime.”
“Are you better now?” Jiu asked.
“Did Ms. Y/L/N make you better?” Ari added.
“He's doing a lot better than he was before,” you said as you glanced between the man in front of you and his daughters. “But my expert opinion says that he still needs a full night's rest.”
“You can't kiss it better?” Ari asked, giggling with her sister.
“Yeah, you can't kiss it better?” Mingyu asked in a mocking tone, gently squeezing your leg again. You put your hand on top of his and put it down beside you again without looking over at him. Even if he was able to be very mature most of the time, he tended to bring out his childish side from time to time. As you took his hand away from your leg, he almost looked like he regretted saying it.
“A good night's rest is all he needs, I promise you,” you assured the twins, “And you two should also go back to bed.”
After a bit of complaining, they said goodnight to their dad and scurried back to their room. You looked after them until they had closed the bedroom door behind them. Mingyu’s hand snuck back to its place on your thigh.
“I’ll go check that they’re sleeping before I leave,” you said.
“You’re leaving?” He sounded surprised. His grimace after saying it made it clear that he didn’t mean for it to come out like that.
“Mingyu, I couldn’t possibly intrude any longer-”
“You’re not intruding,” Mingyu remarked. “I have a guest room, and you can borrow some clothes from me- you can take a shower if you want to, too. Just… I don’t want you to leave all on your own this late at night.”
He seemed so determined, and how could you give up on such an offer? His hand squeezed your leg again, a kind gesture that asked you to stay. You thought back to all the time you had spent together in the cabins. It had been so long that you seemed to have forgotten that you knew him quite well for just being his children's teacher. You took his hand in yours again, looking down at it to try to distract yourself from his strong gaze.
“I’m sorry for leaving before,” you mumbled. “At the cabins… it was so wrong of me, I’m sorry.” Mingyu turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. You looked at him with a shy smile. For some reason, you had thought of your second meeting as a new beginning - but you can't just erase memories with another person to start over. The fact that you ever thought that felt deranged now.
“And I’m sorry for being a mess,” you continued when Mingyu hadn’t said anything for a while. “And for acting like nothing had happened when we finally met again-”
“Y/N,” he interrupted. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have pursued you again if I didn’t accept all that. I like you, and I know you’ve been through something horrible. I can be patient with you. I want to be someone you can lean on… even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.”
You let out a stifled laugh and looked down at your intertwined hands. It felt nice to finally let your walls down a bit like you could finally let go of some of the tension you had been holding in your shoulders. Mingyu squeezed your hand, getting your attention back on him.
“I'm not going to ask you to sleep in my bed with me because, frankly, that'd be very stupid considering that I'm sick,” he said, making you laugh again. “But I just want to make sure that you don't have to go home alone and that you're safe.”
“Okay, I’ll stay,” you hummed. “Thank you.”
After taking a shower and changing into clothes that Mingyu let you borrow, you went straight to bed. It almost felt like a hotel bed, and the cozy feeling made you fall asleep immediately.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ The next morning you woke up to your alarm ringing an hour before you had to leave the door. Hearing sounds coming from downstairs, you quickly got up and went to see what was going on. The clanging came from the kitchen. You hadn’t made a plan for what would happen in the morning, and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had accidentally left the kids unattended. However, when you arrived in the kitchen, you found Mingyu making breakfast and the girls tiredly waiting at the table. The noise was coming from the stove as he was cooking something that smelled delicious.
“Why are you up? Shouldn't you still be resting?” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even process them.
“Good morning to you too, doctor,” Mingyu said with a raspy voice and handed you a newly brewed cup of coffee. “You'll be happy to hear that my symptoms have-”
You pressed your hand against his forehead again, interrupting whatever he was going to joke about, his fever had gone down, and he looked a lot better than the day before. Mingyu took your hand away from his forehead.
“My symptoms have died down,” he repeated. “Just a runny nose and sore throat. What do you think? Am I too sick to make breakfast?” His eyes were glimmering in the low light of the kitchen lamp, and that warm smile never left his lips. If it weren't for the fact that he was sick, you would've kissed that smile off his face.
“No…” You sighed. “I overreacted, I’m sorry-”
“You didn’t,” he assured you. “It’s nice to have someone care for me like you do.”
Mingyu's arm sneakily wrapped itself around your waist and brought you closer. He leaned his forehead against yours, still looking into your eyes. You did your best to not spill anything out of your cup, but it was getting increasingly hard since you were starting to be distracted. You peered over your shoulder, noticing that the two of you had started getting the attention of the twins.
“Could we save this for another day?” you asked and put a hand on his chest. “Maybe when we're not being watched?”
Mingyu looked up, immediately locking eyes with Ari and Jiu, who were standing on top of their chairs to see. His face twisted from worry to irritation, and you could hear more laughter coming from the table. At the sound of the bell-like giggles, Mingyu had trouble holding his scolding gaze and not replacing it with a warm smile.
“Hey! Sit down in the chairs, or you'll fall over!” Mingyu said and let go of you to bring the girls their breakfast. You watched him walk away, chuckling at his attempt to scold them. As he warned the girls of the dangers of standing up on chairs, he was placing their breakfasts in front of them and making sure that they’d start eating. Mingyu was still grumbling when he came back, but when you walked up next to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, he quickly quieted down. He looked at you with big eyes, doing mental loops to try to figure out what he had done to deserve it.
“Thank you for the coffee,” you said. “I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll see you soon.”
“Let me drive you,” he blurted out. “I need to take my girls there anyway.”
“If you feel fine, then I don’t see why not.”
“Oh, I’m feeling more than fine.” Mingyu leaned closer to you, but you put your hand on his chest to stop him.
“I don’t want to get sick,” you teased. “Besides, I’ve already given you a kiss.”
“I need another one to get all better.” He pouted.
“All you need is one,” you responded. “Doctor’s orders!” You watched his jaw go slack, tonguing his cheek as you started walking away.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ Arriving in yesterday’s clothes, wearing whatever make-up you had with you in your bag, caused suspicion. Not only that, you had walked in just a little bit before Kim Mingyu - a hot, single dad. Many of your coworkers didn’t notice or care, but your closest coworker Joshua definitely noticed. He was what some people would call your work husband, and usually, you’d tell him everything while you were welcoming your kids in your separate classrooms.
“Did you have fun last night?” He asked.
“My night was just fine, Mr. Hong,” you responded. Most of the time, the two of you would gossip loudly with each other - but you couldn’t yell about staying over at Kim Mingyu’s house. Especially not with so many kids around - his kids included. When all of the kids were in your respective classrooms, Joshua got a little closer.
“I saw you walking in here with Mr. Kim. What’s that about?” He whispered. “And I’ve never seen you in the same clothes two days in a row, so you have to tell me everything about last night.”
“I will…” You paused to let him celebrate getting your new gossip. “... At lunch.”
“You’re no fun.” Joshua sighed, making you laugh.
At the anticipated lunch, you sat down in the teacher’s lounge with Joshua in a corner of the room. The two of you sat in mostly silence, except for a few comments about your day so far or what you were going to do later while waiting for as many people as possible to leave. When it was just a few people in the room, Joshua turned to you with an expectant look in his eyes.
“Tell me everything,” he said.
“It was nothing.” You put down your cup of coffee. “He came in sick, and I helped drive him home…” Joshua raised one of his eyebrows, silently urging you to keep talking. “And I might have stayed the night at his house…” You sighed.
“How?” he questioned. “I mean, if that’d happen to anyone else, they wouldn’t let them stay in their house.”
“I might’ve known him since before I started this job…” You dragged out each word as if it’d help contain your secret a little longer. Your coworker stared at you with his jaw on the floor. He put away his lunch and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You have a lot of things to tell me,” Joshua asserted. “
Well, you know about my ex,” you said, and he nodded. “While trying to get over him, I stayed at my aunt’s cottage in the forest.”
“Yeah, you’ve said this.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You stayed there for two weeks and came back to get your shit together. Am I missing something?”
“I didn’t tell you about my neighbor…” As soon as you said it, Joshua’s eyes widened. “The reason I decided to ‘get my shit together’ in the first place is because of him.”
“Mr. Kim?”
“Yes. He was there for me, and we developed some kind of relationship… but then I left without giving him my number or even saying goodbye.” You looked down at your lap. “I didn’t want to get hurt again.”
“Y/N…” Joshua put his hand on the table for you to take, which you did. “I’m sorry for prying about this, and you don’t have to continue.”
“It’s okay… I actually need your advice,” you said, and he nodded. “We met again when he picked up his kids- I didn’t even know he had kids, but it’s fine now. Now we’ve been seeing each other from time to time, trying to sort of pick up where we left it.”
“Oh my god.” Joshua leaned back in his chair again, letting go of your hand in the process. “You’re living in a rom-com.”
“Stop.” You chuckled. “Anyway, I care about him… but I don’t know where to go from here.”
“So you’ve been on dates?”
“We went on a date a few weeks ago, and then we ended up meeting in the park last Sunday,” you explained.
“And you’ve…?” Your silence spoke for itself, and Joshua cheered. He’d been on your ass to get back in the dating scene since you had told him about your ex. “You just need to get laid” was a daily comment you’d receive from him. “How is he?”
“Joshua.”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I’ll drop it.” He paused and studied your expression for a few seconds. “He’s good, isn’t he?”
“I almost forgot my own name,” you whispered with your hand covering the side of your mouth, shielding your words from any potential listeners.
“Alright, alright.” He nodded proudly. “So you guys are getting serious?”
“I think so.”
“Okay, well, I’m happy for you,” he hummed. “He seems like a nice man, someone that you can grow with.” Joshua put his elbows on the table, leaning forward slightly. His otherwise silly and easy-going expression changed into a more serious look.
“Do his kids know?” He asked. “They’re suspecting it, but I don’t think they understand it.” You sighed. “I know, it’d be weird for them…”
“Not just them,” he reminded you. “If any of the other kids find out - let alone their parents - it could get very complicated, you know?”
“I know.”
“I’m not telling you to stop seeing him. You deserve to be happy.” He sighed. “But sadly, you have to be careful with it. You never know what might happen when others find out, and they will. More importantly, if it doesn’t work out, it can be hard on the kids.”
You took a deep breath as his words settled in your head. You hadn’t even considered what would happen if you ended up breaking up. Joshua’s words would stick with you through the rest of your much lighter conversation, and for the rest of the day, it would chafe in the back of your mind. For the rest of the week, you barely talked to Mingyu. Partly because he was busy getting over his cold and then catching up at work, but also because you were ignoring him. Sometimes you’d see his call and let it go to voicemail. You texted from time to time and let your excuse for not talking to him be the preparations for the play on Friday.
A part of you still thought that he might show up to the play, for the girls' sake, of course, even if it was naive of you to think. You didn’t even see Mingyu at pick-up. With the amount of work he had to catch up on, he didn’t have time. His parents would pick up the kids instead. Friday, the day of the play, was spent making preparations for the afternoon - when all of the parents would come to see their kids perform. It wasn't anything particularly well-made, it was made by kids, after all - but the work that the kids had put in truly made you proud. The morning of the play, you asked Jiu and Ari if they knew if their dad would come after all. They had confirmed your fears of him most likely not coming at all. Despite them putting up a brave front, you could tell it made them very disappointed. You sat down with them backstage to make sure that they were okay.
“Why don’t I act as your grown-up for today?” You suggested. “Then you’ll still have someone watching you.”
“It’s not the same,” Ari said.
“You’re a teacher. You have to watch all the kids,” Jiu added.
“I’ll tell you what.” You looked around before shuffling a little closer to them. “If you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll promise to pay extra attention to you two.”
It seemed to cheer them up. they even made you pinky-swear on it. However, you knew it wasn't as good as having their actual parent there - so you were determined to make Mingyu at least see the few last minutes. When everyone was in their costumes and had prepared for the play to start, you took your seat right by the stage. You saved a chair next to you, putting up a fake "reserved chair" sign on the seat. Before the play started, even before the parents had started coming in, you pulled out your phone and called Mingyu. As the phone was ringing, the nervous feeling in your chest started growing.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He sounded tired.
“Hi… um…” You took a deep breath. “I know that you’re busy, and the play starts in twenty minutes, but the twins… They really want you here. I tried cheering them up, but I don’t think it worked.” You heard him sigh and shuffle around. The sound of papers and other office supplies getting moved around could be heard over the phone. A door opened, and you heard mumbling.
“Cancel my next meeting, please,” Mingyu said with the phone held away from his face. “I have to go see my daughters’ play.” You heard more talking from the other person and a door closing.
“I’ll be there,” he said. “Give me fifteen minutes.”
“Thank you, honey.” The nickname just slipped out. You hardly noticed it. “I’ve saved you a seat at the front.”
“You got me front-row seats? Wow, you really know how to spoil a guy.” Mingyu naturally fell into his flirty tone. Joshua sat down beside you on the chair that you hadn’t put a piece of paper with “RESERVED” written on it. With the sudden interruption, you couldn’t bring yourself to answer with the same flirty tone. You could hear Mingyu walking into the elevator on the other side of the line.
“Just be here, Mr. Kim…” you murmured.
“Mr. Kim!?” Joshua whisper-yelled, hearing you despite your attempt to hide it. Joshua leaned in closer to try to listen in on the conversation, and no matter how far you leaned away from him, you couldn’t get away.
“Mr. Kim?” Mingyu questioned. “No more ‘honey’? Have I done something wrong?”
“I have to go…”
“Y/N.” He sighed. “I know something’s wrong. You haven’t talked to me all week.”
“It’s nothing, Mingyu,” you hummed.
“But it is,” he argued. “Listen, we’ll talk later… I’m glad you called, sweetheart.” The two of you said goodbye, and you hung up. You don’t dare look at Joshua, but you can feel his gaze burning a hole in your skin.
“He calls you sweetheart?” He whispers.
“Joshua,” you warned.
“You guys are cute…” he mumbled. “Is everything okay, though? You’re okay, right?”
“... I haven’t talked to him in a while.”
“Y/N, no…” he whined.
“You’re the one who told me to be careful!” you exclaimed.
“I told you to be careful, not to ignore the poor guy!”
“Keep it down!” You hissed. You knew that if people found out that you used to sleep with one of the parents of the children you educated, suspicions of special treatment would arise even if they had no real claim.
“Seriously, Y/N. You should go for it with him. He seems good for you,” Joshua said. The parents started coming in before you could say something in response. His words stuck with you yet again, and you were struck with the realization that you had been a paranoid jerk. Your eyes were completely focused on the door, smiling at the occasional parent you would make eye contact with, but your main goal was to see Mingyu walking through that door. All the parents had settled down and were talking amongst themselves.
Fifteen minutes felt like hours, and you were still impatiently looking back to the door now and then. The lights dimmed. Mingyu still wasn't there. A teacher came out on stage to present the play. Mingyu still wasn't there. The parents clapped after the teacher's short speech, and as he walked off the stage and the music started, Mingyu came through the door. You happily waved to him, and he sprinted toward his seat just as Ari and Jiu walked out on stage. He gave them two thumbs up and a supportive smile before sitting down.
“Thank you,” Mingyu whispered in your ear. You wanted to thank him, too, for coming despite all the trouble, but the kids had already started speaking.
At the end of the play, you stand by the door and watch all of the families walk out - praising the kids and thanking the parents for coming. Mingyu is still in his seat, happily talking to Jiu and Ari. You glance over at him from time to time, a big clump of worry stuck in your throat. You had ignored him for days. Would he still want to stick around? All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and tell him how much you cared for him, but you couldn’t. As the last family left, Mingyu started walking towards you. Joshua, who was standing on the other side of the door, gave you a thumbs-up before leaving. Mingyu walks up to you, his face somewhat colder than it usually is.
“We have to talk later.”
“I know.”
“I’m dropping the kids off at their grandparents’ house,” he said. “Could we meet up after?” “Sure. You can come by my apartment whenever you have time.” You clasped your sweaty hands together behind your back.
“I’ll text you,” he hummed. The small family walked away, the twins happily saying goodbye to you before running to the parking lot - blissfully unaware of the strangling feeling of guilt in you.
After pacing around your apartment for at least ten minutes, you got a text from Mingyu saying that he was on his way. Your heart was beating fast in your chest. In less than an hour, this could all be over. Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down your racing heart. Every moment of your time with Mingyu flashed before your eyes. He could irritate you and make you worry, but in the end, you were the happiest you had ever been when you were with him. Even in the beginning of your relationship with Wonwoo, you hadn’t felt this way. If fate existed, this was it. You loved him, and you had realized it far too late. What anyone else thought didn’t matter. You wanted to be with him. A deep blue wave washed over you, your entire body going slack as you took another deep breath - this time, it reached into the deepest corners of your lungs. You felt refreshed as if simply admitting to yourself that you truly did love him had made you a new person. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him… the words echoed in your mind. Nothing had ever been so clear to you.
When your doorbell buzzed, Mingyu’s voice sounded over the intercom, asking if you could let him in, and you did so without hesitation. The few minutes it took for him to finally come upstairs were hell for you. You were waiting right by the door, expecting his knock at any moment now. His knuckles only met the wooden door once before you ripped the door open. Meeting his shocked gaze brought back the clump in your throat. He looked tired - hurt even. You had done this to him, and you’d do anything to fix it.
“Come in.” You stepped to the side and let him inside.
Mingyu walked inside, took off his shoes, and followed you into the kitchen. You were quiet and in desperate need to distract yourself with something. Looking back at him in the bright kitchen light, you could see the bags under his eyes more clearly now.
“Do you want coffee?” you asked.
“I just want you,” he rasped.
His arms hung by his side, his entire body standing completely still. You looked down at your feet, trying to stop yourself from crying - and if you couldn’t, you at least wanted to make sure that he didn’t see you cry.
“Are you sure?” you questioned. “I’ve been… I haven’t been very good to you, Mingyu.” Mingyu took a step forward, now standing right in front of you. One of his hands grabbed yours while the other lifted your chin to make you look at him.
“I’m sure.”
“What if I’m not good enough for you?”
“You’re more than enough for me,” he assured you. “I just… adore you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” You brought your hand up to his cheek, cupping it in your palm and letting your thumb run over his cheekbone. Bringing your other hand to the back of his head, you pull him in closer for a kiss. As your lips met, Mingyu put his arm around your waist to pull you closer to his body. Fireworks exploded in your stomach as if it were the first time all over again. The kiss didn’t last long, your lips parting with a soft sigh rolling off your tongue. Your eyes stayed closed for a moment, still feeling the ghost of Mingyu’s plush lips against your own. When your eyes opened, you saw Mingyu looking right back at you.
“Please, never scare me like that again.” He leaned his forehead against yours. “When you stopped calling, I thought I had done something to upset you.”
“No, not at all,” you murmured. “I was… scared. I wasn’t sure of what to do next. You and I were doing well, but… what about your kids? If this ends, what will happen to them?”
“This won’t end.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” Mingyu put his hand over yours, which was still holding his face, and turned his head slightly to press a kiss to your palm.
“I’m in love with you,” he mumbled against your skin before turning back to look at you. “I haven’t felt like this in a very long time. I’ve been on many dates since my wife died, trying to pick up the pieces, but it always felt like something was missing. When I met you for the first time, I felt like you were the missing piece… and when I found you again, it felt like fate had given me a second chance. So, I don’t care about what your coworkers think when they see us walking the kids to school together. I don’t care what other parents would whisper about if they saw me kissing the teacher before the parent-teacher meeting. And I definitely don’t care about who you used to be with - even if we go to the same meetings.”
You let out a soft chuckle at his words, your hands falling to his shoulders. Even if he was joking, his words comforted you - so did his gentle hands on your waist. Your shoulders relaxed, and no more tears were threatening to spill onto your cheeks.
“Are we clear?” He asked.
“Yes.” You nodded, giving him a big smile.
“Good.” He pulled you in a little closer. “... can I kiss you again?”
“Please do.” Your whisper was almost inaudible. You barely got the words out before his lips were on yours again. The warmth from his hands on your waist burned through your clothes, leaving your skin tingling. His hands moved slowly around your body as if he desperately needed it to last as long as it could. Your chest was pressed against his now, your arms lying on his shoulders and your hands in his hair. His long, romantic kiss turned into short, sweet pecks along the corner of your mouth and down to your jaw.
“Gyu-” You tried to interrupt him, but it was useless.
Mingyu continued his attack on the rest of your face, giddily kissing whatever surface of your face he could reach. Laughter, like silver bells, echoed in your small kitchen, a place that’s been previously filled with anxious mumbles about the man who was now in front of you. He paused, looking into your eyes, giving you a smile that you recognized easily as his mischievous and flirty grin. He bent down slightly, gripping the backs of your thighs as he muttered, “Jump”. You did as he said, wrapping your legs around him as he lifted you up - you put your head in the crook of his neck. Without worrying about it, you let him carry you over to wherever he wanted to take you. The woody scent of his cologne was intoxicating, and you tried to bury your nose deeper into the soft skin of his neck - Mingyu let out a chuckle at the tickling feeling.
“I’ve been thinking about getting you all to myself ever since I made you breakfast last Monday,” he admitted.
“You have me now,” you murmured.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You lifted up your head from his neck, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. “Bedroom?”
Mingyu grinned, taking long steps toward your bedroom door. Before you knew it, he had thrown you on the bed - crawling over to you to finish what he had started. The two of you had been there for what felt like hours. Mingyu’s movements were soft and slow, thrusting in and out of your dripping pussy. You were delirious, wanton moans escaping your lips every other second. Mingyu’s mouth was latched onto your chest, sucking dark marks on your skin. His body was pressed against yours, your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him there.
“I’ve missed this…” Mingyu groaned. “I’ve missed you.”
“Gyu…” you whimpered. “Please, just a little faster.” For all this time, Mingyu had kept the pace slow - his excuse was that he needed to take his time with you, which you accepted… for a while. Now, you were suffering - simultaneously overstimulated and not stimulated enough.
“Why won’t you let me take my time?” He pouted.
“I have,” you answered. “I need to cum, Gyu, please- I want you to cum inside me.” Mingyu swore under his breath, his hips stuttering at your words. When he was distracted, you managed to flip the two of you over. Being on top gave you control of the pace, and, despite your burning thighs, you immediately started bouncing on his cock.
“Sweetheart-” He gasped. While the pace had been kept slow earlier, the overstimulation made you sensitive enough to feel your orgasm approaching already from the sudden change of pace. Mingyu felt the same, evident by his stuttering hips and loud whines.
“Cum inside me, Gyu,” you urged him again.
“You’re going to be the death of me…” Mingyu soughed. Mingyu grabbed your hips to thrust up into you. Your head lulled to the side, your limbs growing limp, as a wave of pleasure spread from your core to the rest of your body. His hands gripped your sides harshly, bruising the skin, and kept you pressed against his pelvis as he came inside you. You could hear him say something, but you were lost in your paradise. As you were about to slump over him, Mingyu handled you carefully to lay down on his chest - putting his hands on your back and rubbing patterns into your skin.
“Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?” he whispered in your ear, and you hummed in response. “Do you want me to draw you a bath?”
“No, it’s okay,” you murmured. “Just stay here with me.”
“We should clean up,” he said, and you whined at the thought of having to move. “I’m serious. And you should go to the bathroom.”
“Stop being so responsible…” you groaned.
“Can’t help it.” He sat up, bringing you with him. “I like taking care of you.” Mingyu stood up with much effort, making sure that your legs were wrapped around his waist. He carried you over to the bathroom, despite your constant whining. After cleaning himself up, he left you to your privacy - but not long after, you walked out of the bathroom again to go back to bed. Mingyu was already there, waiting for you under the covers. He pulled the covers to the side, making it easier for you to get in. As he wrapped the covers around you, you snuggled up against his chest. His skin against yours felt like heaven, and you got as close to him as you possibly could.
“Gyu?” You murmured.
“Yes, darling?” He answered with a playful tone.
“Thank you.” Your words floated in the air. Mingyu stayed quiet but wrapped his arms around you a little tighter. He pressed a kiss on the top of your head, his lips lingering there. Your hands went to his back, feeling his muscles under your fingertips - smooth skin, but you could feel knots there, probably caused by stress. You could picture yourself helping him massage out those knots, him laying with his stomach on his bed, you straddling him and gently moving your hands over his back. The fact that you could picture flashes of your future together felt promising. You felt safe in these daydreams.
“For staying,” you added.
“I know,” Mingyu murmured against the top of your head.
“Promise me something?”
“Anything.”
“That if I ever start doubting us again,” you said, “you'll tell me off like you did today.” Mingyu’s chest rumbled with a laugh, and you broke out in a small chuckle at his response.
“I promise,” he said. “Is the sex afterwards included?” You hit his chest with your palm, just lightly, and hid your flustered face against him. Mingyu only kept laughing, clearly enjoying your embarrassed state.
“Shut up,” you muttered.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ A year later, you’re teaching your last class of the day when the bell rings. The students pack up their things as you remind them of next week’s homework. Soon enough, you’ve picked up your things and are walking down the hallway to Mr. Hong’s classroom. The doors opened, and the many kids ran past you to get out to the courtyard where they could meet their caretakers - Fridays were always hectic. You spotted Joshua in the classroom, and he gave you a smile and a wave.
“Are they here?” you asked as you walked inside.
“We’re here!” the twins shout happily. “They did exceptionally well today!” Joshua praised. “Ari’s figured out multiplications, and Jiu’s reading gets better every day.”
“I’m glad to see the two of you working so hard, even when you’re not in my class anymore!” you told the girls before turning back to Joshua. “I hope you have a good weekend, Mr. Hong.”
“Mhm, have fun playing newlyweds with your man,” he teased and went back to a few papers on his desk.
“We’re not even…” You sighed and turned your attention to the girls. “Ready to go home? Pick up your things, let’s go meet your dad!”
Jiu and Ari were running ahead of you as soon as they saw their dad. Mingyu was standing by the gate, talking to another parent who was also picking up their kid. You recognized them from your parent-teacher meeting last year. As soon as Mingyu heard the happy shouts of his daughters, he excused himself from the other parent and crouched down with open arms. The girls ran into his arms, almost making him stumble back in the process. You caught up to them just a few seconds later, giving the other parent a nod before they walked away to their kid.
“How are my princesses doing?” Mingyu asked and kissed their foreheads.
“Good! I finished another book!” Jiu grinned.
“And Mr. Hong said I was good at multiplication!” Ari added.
He congratulated them both before standing up to take a look at you. His smile widened, and he opened his arms for a second time. You walked into his embrace, giving him a short hug. However, as you tried to pull away, he held you a little bit tighter.
“Mingyu, people are staring,” you whispered.
“Let them,” he whispered back. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.” You finally managed to pull away, but Mingyu’s hands lingered on your waist - you let them stay there, knowing that he would only start pouting if you tried pulling them off.
“You saw me this morning,” you reminded him.
“For way too short of a time,” he added.
“Darling, you almost made us late.”
“Details…” Mingyu scoffed and turned his head away from you. When he glanced at you through the corner of his eyes, he got to see your bright smile. Proud of his achievement, he grinned as he turned his face toward you again. Before you could tell him to go get the girls’ names crossed off the list, he stole a kiss from you.
“Gyu-”
“Go tell the teacher that I’ve picked the girls up, I know.” His smile was contagious. “Just needed to tell you that you look beautiful today, Mrs. Kim.”
“I’m not Mrs. Kim yet,” you remind him.
“You’ve been Mrs. Kim in my mind for a while now, sweetheart,” he argued. “Besides, you’re about to put the last of your furniture in our house, and my kids call you mom. The papers are nothing but a formality at this point.”
“Fair enough,” you murmured. He took your left hand in his, his thumb grazing over the ring on your ring finger. His hand lingered on yours as he walked to get the pick-up finalized, only letting go when his arms couldn’t stretch any further. The girls followed after him as he walked up to the teacher with the name list, standing in the middle of the courtyard. As soon as it was done, Mingyu grabbed the girls’ hands and led them back to you.
“Ready to go home?” he asked, unaware of the fact that you were already home as soon as you had seen him. You nodded, taking the lead toward the gate. Mingyu was still holding the girls’ hands, so you opened the gate for them and watched them walk out. A few kids said goodbye to you, and you took some time to wish them a good weekend. When you turned back to your small family, they had already gotten to the car. He had parked close to the school, so it wasn’t very far, and you quickly jogged up to them. Mingyu had managed to get the girls into the car seats by himself, closing the car doors just as you arrived.
“You’re always so busy,” Mingyu joked.
“Says you,” you countered and went to fix his crooked tie. “You took the weekend off, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He grinned. “Ready to serve.”
“It’s just invitations, Gyu.”
“You say that now…” Mingyu opened the car door for you, putting his hand on the edge of the entrance to make sure you didn’t hit your head. When you had sat down, he carefully closed the door behind you and walked around to the other side of the car.
“You’re the one who agreed to help me,” you argued.
“And I won’t complain,” Mingyu said as he sat down in the driver’s seat. “Promise.”
You looked over at him as he buckled his seatbelt. His tedious behavior was enough to make you frown at him. Mingyu looked at you as he started the car. He gave you a charming smile - a classic Kim Mingyu distraction. It worked, as it always did. You sighed and turned back to the girls.
“Are you two okay back there?” you asked, and the two of them nodded before going back to their whispering. As Mingyu backed out of the parking space, you turned to sit normally in your seat. Mingyu put his hand on your leg as soon as the car was on the road. The warmth from his palm radiated through your clothes. You put your hand on top of his.
“I don’t think making invitations will be very fun,” he said, “but I’ll enjoy spending time with you.”
“Just don’t try to distract me,” you warned as you intertwined your fingers with his.
“No promises.” He looked over at you with a mischievous spark in his eyes. You scoffed and looked out the window. Your hand was still holding his - he brought the back of your hand to his lips, leaving a chaste kiss there. A smile crept up on your lips as Mingyu put your hand back down.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I love you too.”
#svthub#kvanity#svt#seventeen#kpop fanfiction#kpop fanfic#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#mingyu#smut#kpop smut#fluff#mingyu x reader#kim mingyu fanfic#mingyu seventeen#kim mingyu#mingyu smut#mingyu fluff#mingyu imagines#mingyu scenarios#bee buzzed εїз✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
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Weekend With You
Christian Yu / Mito x Y/N - drabble - 1.1K WC
Masterlist
Warnings: FLUFF AF, menstruation, embarrassment, they are both such good boyfriends I cannot stress this enough, very sweet, I guess this could be slight hurt/comfort?
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Christian watched as you slept peacefully. The way your chest rose and fell softly was hypnotizing, he felt like he could watch you like this forever.Your eyes fluttered open and found his almost instantly. He leaned in, “Good morning lovely.” he said with a smile while pressing a kiss to your cheek.
You smiled before your face scrunched up, “Oh for fucks sake!” you said with anger in your voice before you quickly got up from the bed and rushed into the bathroom.
Christian sat up, looking at the shut bathroom door with confusion. He pulled the covers back to follow after you then he saw it. A little puddle of blood staining the sheets on your side. Oh. On one hand, he understood why you felt the way you did. On the other, he knew you were going to feel bad and embarrassed as you two had just gotten comfortable staying at each other's apartments. Christian stood up quickly and stripped the bed, tossing the comforter into the dryer and the sheets into the wash. He remade the bed just in time for you to reemerge from the bathroom. As expected, your eyes never met him and your cheeks were burning red.
You tried to move past him, “I’m um… I’m gonna go home.” you said, picking up your sweatshirt quickly.
“No you’re not.” Christian said. He gently tugged you back to the bed where you noticed the different sheets.
“I’m really sorry about the sheets… I can buy new ones…” you mumbled.
Christian shook his head, “Absolutely not. What you can do is get back in bed and order everything you want and need while I go get my heating pad from the living room.” he said, pushing his phone into your hand.
You refused to sit down, “My underwear still has blood on it…” you whispered.
Christian thought for a second before running into his closet and bringing you back a pair of underwear. You looked at him with confusion as you took them from him, “When I modeled for Calvin Klein I got some for you but wasn’t really sure how to give underwear as a gift without looking weird or like I had ulterior motives…” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.
You smiled softly, taking them from him, “Thank you.” you said sincerely. You moved to go back to the bathroom before Christian stopped you again, handing you clothes that were sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I thought you might want these? They're comfy and clean.” he said. You could see it on his face; he wasn’t exactly sure what to do in this situation but he was trying and it made your heart melt.
“Thank you… I’ll um, I’ll be right back.” you said, shuffling into the bathroom. You changed, setting his phone down on the countertop. You heard it buzz and looked over, it was a text from his mom.
Mom - 9:26 AM
Make sure she eats well and gets plenty of rest, water too! Whatever she wants, get it for her. A relaxing day is all she needs :)
You wanted to cry at how sweet Christian is. You had never met his mom but the fact that she knew of you, and the fact that he cared enough to text his mom and ask how to properly care for you made you absolutely sick with love. You emerged from the bathroom to Christian sitting on the bed, you made your way to him before engulfing him in a hug.
He hugged you back, “My clothes look good on you.” he mumbled into the crook of your neck with a smirk before giving your ass a light smack.
You chuckled before handing him his phone, “Your mom texted you… I um ordered some stuff, I’ll pay you back.” you said, holding onto one of his hands.
“If you pay me back I swear to god…” he joked. “I ordered us your favorite so we don’t have to cook.” he smiled at you.
“Can we stay in bed until it gets here?” you asked.
“Of course!” he said, pulling the comforter back before laying the heating pad on your abdomen and pulling the blanket back over you. He slid back into the bed next to you, pulling you into his chest.
“I’m sorry for fucking up the weekend… I know you wanted to go to the beach… and I ruined your sheets and it's all so gross…” you sighed, feeling guilty and shameful.
“Hey,” he tilted your chin up to look at him, “One - It’s not gross. It’s healthy and normal. Two - I own a washing machine, the sheets will be fine. And three - The weekend isn’t fucked because all I wanted this weekend was to be around you, beach or not.” he said confidently.
You searched his eyes for any sign of disappointment but all you saw was love. You kissed him gently before snuggling back into him.
-------------------------------------------------
“Baby?... Baby!” Christian said, shaking you slightly.
Your eyes fluttered open, you looked at him and noticed his softer eyes and more sullen look. “Mito!” you said as you stretched your arms, pulling him down into a hug.
You felt him smile against your neck, “The food and stuff is here, I set it all up in the living room. Your products are in the bathroom.” he said, pulling away slightly. He picked up a glass of water from the side table before handing you two pills “Ibuprofen… for the pain.” he said.
You took them both before walking to the bathroom and using a proper sanitary product because the emergency toilet paper pad was not gonna cut it long term. You walked into the living room where Mito sat on the couch, giving you a soft smile. He held the remote out to you, “Whatever you wanna watch.” he said, pulling you down so your legs rested across his lap and you could lean into his chest.
You ate and watched random movies for hours, Mito surprising you with chocolate and other sweets he knew you enjoyed. You felt yourself starting to drift off again as he held his large, warm hand over your lower stomach. “Thank you for today…” you mumbled, “I love you so much…” you whispered before slipping off into dreamland.
Mito froze before he looked down at you with big doe eyes, he kissed your forehead, “We love you too.” he replied for all of them. It was the first time either of you had said that to each other after just a few months of dating but he knew with his whole heart that he felt nothing but love for you.
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Naboo's Note:
Hello! This was based off a request and I love it! I'm such a sucker for these types of fics. Almost all of my requests right now are for Christian Yu/Mito/Mr. Insanity so I would expect an influx of them. I hope ya'll are doing well. My first day back at work since surgery went pretty well so here's to keeping the good vibes going! XOXOXO
#christian yu x reader#dpr christian#christian yu#dpr ian smut#dprian#writing#dpr ian#dpr live#dpr ian x reader#dpr ian fluff#dpr ian cute#christian yu x y/n#mito#mito x reader
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Toge Accidentally Uses His Cursed Speech on You (Part 4)
🔅content: Light angst/light comfort; gn!reader; no pronoun mentions
🔅synopsis: It's been 2 days since you last seen Toge... How do you go about this? What are you supposed to do? You wonder how to address the situation at hand...
🔅a/n: "What happened to posting part 4 soon" I ended up scraping the entire part 4 draft and remade it because I didn't like it :'D Thank you everyone for being so patient and putting up w my bs aaa Let me know if you want to be in the tags list and enable ur tagging :3
[JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3]
🔅Word Count: 2.2K
"...Should I... open it...?" You asked yourself quietly, looking down on your phone as you stared at the multiple notifications you received from Toge.
13 missed calls
31 new messegaes
All unopened, all unanswered.
Slowly, you hover your finger over to his chat box, however, you hesitate- quickly shutting off your phone and plopping down on the soft mattress where you sat.
While the rest of the Okkotsu family went out to watch the movies, you decided to stay in the house by yourself. "You should come...! I'm sure it will help lift your spirits." Mrs. Okkotsu offered, to which you kindly declined her offer.
You figured you needed some time to be alone for now, but the lack of presence in the house ended up cauing a deafening silence to fill the halls, creating more opportunities for you to overthink the recent events between you and Toge.
'...I wonder... what did he say...'
'...why am I so scared to read it...?'
Over the past two days, you've been comfortably staying over Yuta's family home in the city. But since Yuta wasn't there at the moment, his parents and sister have been kindly accomodating you the entire time.
You were incredibly embarassed and reluctant to stay over, afraid of becoming only a nuisance to the Okkotsu family, especially since current situation between you and Toge was not at all very dire, just an arguement between two lovers.
Fortunately, Yuta and his mother were understanding and very insistent that you were welcome for as long as you'd like. Afterall, you were also one of Yuta's closest friends.
Trying your best to not cause them too much trouble, you help out with minor chores like the dishes, setting up the table, throwing out the trash- but each time you do so, you were met with gentle scolding.
"We told you to rest! You're still very hurt!"
"No no no, you're a guest, put that down!"
"We are not letting you wash the plates. Go back to bed and lie down for a nap! We'll bring you some snacks later."
"Nonsense! You are not a burden! You are a good friend of Yuta, and he asked us to take care of you, so sit down and don't worry about us."
Though that did seem to reduce the amount of guilt you felt, you were still rather embarassed for staying over someone else's family home just to hide from an ongoing dispute with Toge. So, you figured you shouldn't overstay your welcome, at least.
You look at your phone once again, staring at Toge's contact name as you remember your last encounter with him.
Staring at the ceiling above, you allow the memories from the incident flood your mind once more- remembering the sorrow, the pain, the sadness....
The entire time you knew Toge, he had always felt like the safest person to be around with, and you trusted him more than anyone- be it about your safety or your feelings. Naturally, the shock from accidentally getting cursed would shaken you up quite a lot.
You were badly hurt, both physically and emotionally.
And even for a short moment, you even felt afraid of him for the first time.
A feeling you knew would devastate him if he knew.
As shy as you were to admit it, all you did the entire day after the incident was quiety cry inside the guest bedroom in Yuta's home.
You can say that you rather had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Not a moment has passed in which you weren't thinking about it.
At first, it was shock, then fear, followed by pain before sadness, eventually leading to worry- the feeling you were experiencing right now.
Why 'worry'? You think to yourself, curious as to why there was this sense of longing to see him despite the accident.
It was a strange feeling in your chest. Most certainly, you were still very much upset and hurt about what he had done to you, but still-
"...I wonder how he must feel right now..." You hug the pillow nearest to you closer to your chest, unable to stray away the concern you felt for him.
Perhaps it was the way he looked at you the moment he misused his speech on you. The way Toge's eyes expressed so much shock, the way his voice was filled with so much guilt and fear... You have never seen him act in such a way before, especially considering the fact that he was always the more calm and composed one between the two of you.
You couldn't get the desperate tone of his voice out of your head, and you frequently find yourself vividly remembering the panicked expression he displayed on his face.
"...He must be worried..." You whisper to the pillow you held tightly, your eyelids closing as you replay the events of the accident.
More than anyone, you understood him the most, and you knew that this must be really messing up his mind right now.
It was one of his deepest fears, hurting someome he loves unintentionally with his speech, and you knew how deep this sort of wound would cut him on the inside.
More so, there was also the fact that Toge had personally witnessed the tragic events that happened to his allies in Shibuya... not to mention the fact that he had also been heavily pinning the blame on himself for the death of innocent civilians' lives.... lives which he felt responsible of protecting, all because he led them to take shelter to the same area Sukuna had unleashed his Malevolent Shrine.
'Truly...' you thought.
'this must be really messing up his mind right now....'
You turn over to your side, eyes staring blankly into the empty air in front of you.
"...He was distant and acting different from what happened in Shibuya afterall... I know he didn't mean to hurt me..." you whispered quietly, trying to think of how to address the situation.
You sat up, your hand firmly grasping your phone, a hesitant but concerned tone evident in your voice "I... don't want to make him feel any worse than he already does..."
Without a doubt, Toge was always so good to you. So protective, so understanding, so kind, so loving...
He was always there for you at your lowest points... and you never even had the chance to return such comfort to him before, so you think to yourself:
'...it's my turn.'
Your previous attempt to aid his sorrow didn't end up so well, but that's why you were willing to try again; To try again for him.
He probably hasn't been consoled ever since the incindent in Shibuya either. You, Panda, Yuta, or even Maki hadn't heard from him the entire time, and that's considering that all of you are his closest friends.
You ponder about it, and then you realize he probably wouldn't have ended up hurting you by accident or behaving so distant towards everyone if he had just allowed himself to be comforted- to be held and be told 'it's okay.'
...And you couldn't help but want to be that person who does that for him.
The more you thought about this, the more you wanted to see him.
You already released all the shock, hurt, and sadness for the past few days through a few weeping sessions in the small guest room before, and you think it's about time to come out of hiding.
You try to gain back your composure.
"...I wonder where he is... I hope... he's not pushing himself." You glance at your wallpaper, looking at a picture of Toge holding up a silly little peace sign while he sat next to a cute little dog you randomly met on the street.
You couldn't help but chuckle softly for a moment, then, your smile slowly fades back to form a serious expression on your face.
You miss the smile in his eyes like in the photo.
The idea of him in such sadness, worry, and pain ended up hurting you just as much as well.
"...I should talk to him."
So, you unlock your phone, open messages, and look for his contact name once again.
His contact nickname and his silly little photo appear.
'Bonito Flakes'
"...There."
Just when you were about to tap his name, you paused.
"Uh... wait... what should I say...?"
You pull back your thumb from the screen, suddenly having a bit of a panic on how to address the situation.
"..How do I reach out to him...? What... did he text me..? Is he upset with me? Is he looking for me...?"
His last text was from yesterday night, so you weren't sure what should be the best mood to approach him at this moment.
Just then, as if fate had timed this moment perfectly, a notification suddenly pops up on the top of your screen.
1 new message from Bonito Flakes
You gasped, completely taken aback from seeing his name.
'Wait... I'm not ready...!!'
You panicked slightly, causing you to drop your phone on the hard wood floor by accident, a loud thump echoing throughout the room. Fortunately, the Okkotsu family still hasn't returned from their outing yet, otherwise, you'd give them another reason to be worried about you.
You sigh, picking it back up as you lightly shook your head to gain back your composure.
As you check your sceen, you see another text from Toge come in.
Then another.
And another.
It made you slightly nervous but curious as to what his multiple texts were saying right now, and it sort of made you even more worried to know what he sent.
Is he sad? Does he need you? Is he just reaching out? Is he leaving the school? Does he want to distance himself from you?
"I'll... wait a little..."
Ultimately, you decided to let him finish sending his messages before you view it.
He sent quite a handful of texts, and it took a while before the messages stopped coming in. But just to be sure, you waited for a few minutes in case he had any late follow ups.
"I'll.... wait a little more..." You whisper to yourself as you stare at the phone in front of you, hoping to view his messages during a time when he's offline- You just wanted to make sure there was enough time for you to process and react to his texts without the pressure of him waiting for your response.
But the green dot next to his profile picture was still lit up, meaning, that he would be able to immediately see your replies the moment you send it.
But you would prefer he only sees it AFTER you're done sending your responses.
Sighing heavily, you whisper once more '...I guess I'll wait again...'
You check again after a few minutes, it was still green. So you wait again.
More time had passed but still- the green dot remained.
You wait again.
It was all you could think about for the past few hours as you move back and forth from checking your phone to lying down, staring into nothing...
Untul finally, at hour three, the green dot turns dim.
And with that, you were left with no excuse to delay opening your inbox any longer. "...alright... here we go.... I guess..."
With a hefty sigh and a single tap of your finger, you open his inbox.
Your eyes widened suddenly, immediate shock at the realization.
With a quickened pace, you hurridly limped towards the nearest window, the cast on your leg creating a slight scratching sound as you drag it across the floor.
Pulling away the curtains, you scan the street below in search for the white haired boy.
You squint your eyes slightly, trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness of the night.
Then, you see him.
"He... he's still there...?"
On the opposite side of the street, there sat Toge on the small pavement across from Yuta's house.
His head rested on his arm and his head hung low, perhaps taking a bit of a nap as he waited for your reply.
A wave of guilt suddenly washes over you as you realize how long you've made him wait out in the cold for a single reply.
You text him.
Toge???? Why did you wait for me?
You look drenched, what happened???
How long have you been there???
But your messages didn't seem to get through, not showing a mark of it being delivered.
"His phone battery must've died...."
Instictively, you hurried out the room with a more detemined expression, carefully treading the stairs with your injured leg, and rushed out the door.
Unintentionally, the noise of opening the door a little too quickly echoed across the dead silent street, casuing Toge to immediately jolt himself awake.
He made eye contact with you while he remained seated across the street, shocked at your sudden appearance.
Embarassed for startling him, you slightly lose your confidence and shy away from his gaze, a small lump in your throat preventing you from voicing out any words.
Toge stood up slowly, his eyes widen but his chest beated out of nervousness.
He doesn't expect anything positve, but still, he remained hopeful, as much as he felt like he didn't deserve you.
"...um...." you started, hoping to break the akward silence that filled the air.
"...I-...."
"....."
"....p-...please, come in...."
....
[Back to JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3] [Part 5]
a/n: So happy I finally finished this :')))))))) Shoutout to anon that poked me abt this that genuinely helped me lolol I just really needed a little push to finish this
NOTE classes are back ^^ and I'm doing some part-time comms sooo I'll be a lil busy but ofc I won't abandon this I luv this series <3
Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.
tags list: @zhenyuuu @cowcreamers @mushroommorgue @yunho-leeknow @lemonnotade @exodiam @an-ever-angry-bi @cirieria @chifuyufirstwife @strxbxrrylover @sturns55
#edged y'all so bad for holding back part 4 for so long#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#fic#fanfic#fan fic#toge#inumaki#Toge.#angst#comfort#smau#x reader
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Bitter Allies [Soap x Reader]
Chapter 6: The Cabin: Day 2
Summary: You suffer through yet another day in hell with Soap. Near the end though, you also come to learn that he is also human.
Word Count: 5,830
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, swearing, angst, strong language, arguing, suggestive language, suggestive scenes, mentions of trauma, PTSD, slight nudity
A/N: I added almost 1,000 more words while editing. Story is about to get realllyyyy good! Enjoy :)
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Bitter Allies • Part 6
You wake up the next morning with sunlight pouring through the windows. The air inside the cabin is still a little chilly, but the inside of the liner Soap gave you last night is now too warm. You stretch your arms, pushing the liner down in the process, and look over to Soap's cot. It's already empty and neatly remade.
You're not sure what time it is, but after last night, you're sure you've slept in more than you normally would. Slowly sitting up, you rub your face a bit, thoughts going to yesterday. You still couldn't believe Soap had apologized to you and that he'd given you his liner. It didn't seem real. You would have thought it was all a dream if it hadn't been for you waking up in said liner.
You wonder if things will be different today or if it'll be like nothing happened.
Not bothering to get dressed just yet until you know exactly where Soap is, you head to the kitchen. He's not in there. The pot and your plates from last night are still sitting in the same spots, and you make a note to yourself to wash them later.
The next place you check is outside by the lake. Soap might have just been on the porch or out by the water. You step outside, wrapping your arms around you slightly, and walk down the two steps. Looking around though, you still don't see him anywhere. The fear that he's left again begins to simmer in the pit of your stomach, but he could just be in the bathroom. You're not going to go check there though.
Instead you just wait outside for a few minutes to see if he'll come out of the outhouse and take a moment to enjoy the morning air. It's so beautiful outside, and you definitely wouldn't mind going for a walk later. You also wouldn't mind taking a bath today. Your skin feels sticky with sweat from the liner.
After a moment, with Soap still not showing his face, you decide that he must have went for a walk or a morning run. So much for your rules.
Sighing, you head back into the cabin. As long as Soap was going to be gone, you figured you might as well take that opportunity to get dressed, do the dishes, and start breakfast. You would have bathed too, but you weren't going to risk Soap coming back while you were out there.
Back inside, you make your way to the bedroom and push the door open. Instantly though, you're regretting it. You are one step into the room before you instantly freeze. Your eyes are wide, your cheeks are burning, and your jaw drops as you're met with a butt naked Soap MacTavish.
"States!" He shouts in surprise, his gaze having snapped over to yours the second he hears you push the door open. He reacts instantly, using the underwear he was about to slip on to cover his front and then frantically grabbing more of his laid out clothes to do a better job. "What the fuck?! Get out!"
His voice snaps you out of your state of shock, and you're quickly trying to apology, run away, and shut the door all at the same time.
"I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" You babble, trying to back up and hitting your back on the doorframe in the process. You quickly turn and leave, slamming the door shut as Soap continues to shout at you.
"What the fuck! What happened to knocking!" He shouts through the door, as you start to pace in the kitchen, hands on your burning cheeks.
"I don't know! I didn't think you were here!!" You shout back at him, embarrassed beyond belief. Soap had been quick to cover his junk up, but you'd still caught a glimpse of it. You were going to be scarred for life.
"I shut the fucking door! How the hell did you not know I was here?!" He continues. He sort of had a point there. You had left the door open originally.
"I just thought it shut by itself! I don't fucking know! The door doesn't exactly stay wide open!" You just weren't thinking. You thought he was gone. Surely you would have heard him if he came back inside. The front door wasn't exactly quiet when you opened or shut it, and you'd only been outside for maybe a minute.
"Steaming Jesus! If the door is shut, you knock!" Soap swings the door open and steps out, but you can't look at him even if he's fully dressed now.
"I get it! Noted!" You yell back at him. "It's not like I did it on purpose! I'd never want to see that in a million years! And where were you exactly? I didn't see you anywhere this morning, and I didn't hear you come back! I figured you just left again!"
"I got up early and went for a run! Some of us are trying to keep with our normal schedules!"
"Don't call me lazy!"
"I'm not calling you lazy!"
"You're implying it! But that's not the point! The point is you left without telling me!" You finally bring yourself to look at him. His face is red, and his eyes are burning with a mix of embarrassment and anger.
"You were asleep! What, you wanted me to wake you up and then deal with your pissy ass cause I interrupted your beauty sleep? Plus last night, if I remember correctly, you said I only had to tell you if it was for more than an hour. I was gone for thirty minutes! Forty at most!"
"Yes! You should have woken me up! A heads up would have been nice! I didn't know how long you'd been gone or when you'd be back. I thought you were still gone when I came in! I didn't hear you come back!"
"That sounds like it's your problem then! I came through the loudest fucking door! I saw you in the back, you should have heard me!"
"You could have said hi? Done something to make sure I was aware that you were back instead of just assuming I knew!"
"See there ya go again! Pushin' the blame onto someone else! No one is as fucking perfect as you, aye?"
"That's not what I'm doing! You're trying to blame all of this on me! I'm just saying there are things you could have done too!"
"Like left the door open? That way you couldn't be blamed for opening it cause it was already open?"
There was no winning with him. He'd find any way to twist your words and make it seem like you were being the unreasonable one. Rolling your eyes, you decide you've had enough. It seemed yesterday changed anything.
"You want to act like child then fine! Fucking act like a child! I don't know how the task force even deals with you."
You try to leave. You want to go into the bedroom, get dressed, and then leave for a bit to cool off. The second you try to pass Soap though, grabs your arm and forces you back against the wall. Your jaw is tight as he pins you. He's holding your wrist tightly, keeping it pressed firmly against the wall above your head. Your hand that's not being pinned quickly presses into his chest in an attempt to keep some distance.
"My task force was fucking perfect until you came along." He says to you in a deep and dangerous voice. "And then Price just had to bring in one more. He just had to bring you in. Our name doesn't even make sense now. One-four-one. Suppose to only have us four. Not five." He seethes. "We don't need you on our team. Not some fucking bonnie lass from the States, yet here you are."
You keep eye contact with him the whole time. Even in the position he had you in, you don't feel like you're in danger. He's holding your wrist tightly, but he's not excessively squeezing it or cutting off circulation. You're not going to have bruises. And he is letting you push him back. His chest is pressed against your hand, but he's not trying to crowd you. Applying more pressure to his chest makes him back off slightly.
Still his eyes are dangerous as they bore into your own. They’re filled with disdain as he towers over you, dominating the space between you. You’re trying to match his gaze, fight back against him and not let him win.
Then, for some messed up reason, you think about this morning and seeing Soap naked. You’re shocked as the image enters your mind, and you’re cheeks start to get rosy. You know your glare is slipping as you become flustered, and you need to break away now before Soap can figure out what you’re thinking about. His gaze is already turning slightly confused as he begins to notice the shift in your behavior.
"Why do you hate me, Soap?" You blurt. It’s the first thing that comes to mind to ask him.
Your question successfully throws him off. You swear you see his eyes soften for just a moment when you ask him that, but it's hard to tell with your mind racing. He's silent for a moment, just glaring back at you. The tension between you is palpable, his breath warm against your face, his proximity sending an unexpected shiver down your spine.
Finally, he drops your wrist and takes a step back. "I don't need to justify my reasons." He scowls. "I'm going to the lake. Just fucking learn how to knock."
You watch him leave and slam the door, massaging your wrist slightly as you do. Now that he’s gone, you can feel your heart racing in your chest, the pace matching the phantom thumps still felt in your finger tips that’d been pressed to his chest.
You shake your head, taking a deep breath to calm your pulse. The first time you run into him today, and you manage to blow up at each other. It shouldn't surprise you really, but you truly had hoped things would be different this morning after last night.
You slowly make your way to the window and peek outside. Soap is over by the lake, sitting against a tree by the waters edge. He’s running his hand through his hair and then burying his face in both hands, looking like he’s trying to calm himself down. It doesn’t look as though he’s going to be leaving anytime soon.
When he doesn't get up, you go into the bedroom and shut the door softly behind you. Soap's clothes he'd taken off this morning were on the floor. You kick them more over to his side of the room and then go to get changed yourself.
As you strip out of your pajamas, the cool air brushes against your skin, a stark contrast to the lingering warmth from Soap’s body when he had pinned you against the wall. Your cheeks start to flush again, and you feel a strange mix of emotions that you can’t quite decipher.
You pull on a fresh set of clothes, but your mind keeps drifting back to the way Soap’s eyes had locked onto yours, the way his chest had felt under your palm. There was something there, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it left you feeling unsettled and oddly warm.
Once you’re dressed, you sit on the edge of the bed, trying to make sense of your feelings. The intensity of the encounter lingers, a confusing blend of anger, frustration, and something else you can’t quite name. Soap has never made you feel this way before. You’ve never left an argument with him feeling his… odd. And you sure as hell have never imaged him naked.
You sigh and get up, moving into the kitchen. You hope making something to eat will take your mind off everything.
You glance towards the window again, catching another glimpse of Soap by the lake. Despite the distance, you can almost feel the tension that still hangs between you, a thread pulled taut, waiting to snap or be cut. You don’t understand it, but you can’t deny it’s there.
Looking away from him, you focus on breakfast. Your plate was still dirty from last, so you were forced to make food that didn't necessarily require a plate. You'd planned on cleaning it before you started breakfast, but Soap being outside deterred you from that. You ended up just putting peanut butter on a slice of bread and drinking some water.
You ate slowly, making a list of things you wanted to get done today. The plates needed to be cleaned, you wanted to take a bath, and more fire wood needed to be collected. Unfortunately all those things required being outside, right where Soap was.
After what felt like an hour of waiting around, waiting for Soap to move on and go somewhere else, he’s still sitting by the water's edge. You eventually got impatient and decided to just get it over with. Soap had proven yesterday he could sulk for hours and hours, and you didn't want to wait around all day for him to stop. Tension or not be damned.
Gathering up the plates, utensils, and the pot you used last night, you step outside and make your way to the water's edge. However, you'd left Soap's dishes inside. If he was going to treat you the way he currently was, you saw no reason to do his dishes for him.
You eye Soap as you approach the lake. He'd decided to sit a few feet away from the only spot where you had easy access to the water. As you get closer, he looks over to you, a very familiar scowl on his face. The second his gaze turns to you, you stare straight ahead, trying to pretend he simply isn't there. Your skin prickles though, a constant reminder he’s there.
You kneel at the water's edge and get to work on rinsing off the food from your plate. Of course this wasn't all you were planning on doing to clean everything. You would boil water and disinfect everything once all the scraps were rinsed off.
"You're joking right?" Soap comments from where he sits. He'd been watching you rinse the plates off, arms crossed over his chest.
"Don't talk to me." You warn, not in the mood right now to get into something else with him. To make that still lingering tension build back up again.
Soap huffs at you. "You better not be cleaning my stuff." You hear him move a bit to try and get a better look at all the things you'd brought to clean.
"Relax, I left all your shit in the cabin. Wouldn't dream of ever doing anything nice for you."
"Well good. I don't think contaminating the plate and utensils I use to eat is doing anything nice for me." He settles back against the tree, but you can still feel him watching you. His gaze makes your skin boil.
"I know how to properly clean dishes." You grumble, setting the plate aside and moving on to the pot. "I'm going to boil water once I get all the food washed off. Is that fine with you?"
"I don't fucking care what you do. Make yourself sick, I don't give a shite."
"Ok great, so stop talking to me." You snap, trying to scrub off some of the residue on the side of the pan with your nail. You hadn't packed any sponges or other cleaning supplies, and Price didn't provide them.
Soap rolls his eyes as you snap at him. “Away an bail yer heid.” You hear him grumble, not understanding his Scottish drawl, but you know he’s most likely said something insulting.
Glancing over your shoulder, you watch as he gets up. He was heading back to the cabin, which you were fine with for now. It allowed your shoulders to relax and let you finish your cleaning in peace.
Once you were done, you filled the cooking pot with water and carried it back to the cabin to boil it. The door to the bedroom was shut, telling you Soap was most likely in there. Unless he was being childish and shut it before leaving the cabin. All to just make you knock for no reason.
After the water boils, and you use it to finish sterilizing your dishes, you want to do the next thing on your little to-do list. Bathe. Of course you need to go into the bedroom briefly to get things to bathe with.
Standing outside the door for a long moment, you try to psych yourself up a bit before tapping softly on the wood. Your heart is pounding in anticipation like you’re getting ready to enter a war zone.
"You have pants on in there?" You ask, crossing your arms as you wait for his response.
"She does learn!" You hear Soap's muffled voice say through the door.
You roll your eyes and repeat your question, wanting an answer before you walked in and scarred yourself again. "Do you have fucking clothes on or not?"
"Of course! Otherwise I would've said 'give me a second' or 'hang on, still getting dressed' now wouldn't I?"
You growl under breath and push the door open, flipping Soap off as you walk in. He's on his cot, back against the wall, and one of those black journals he brought opened and propped against his knees. You can't see its contents, but you don't really care to look.
"Oh that's very ladylike." He scolds, turning back to looking at his book.
"You're no gentleman yourself." You throw back, pulling open your drawer to get your towel and shampoo out. "I'm going to the lake to bathe. I swear to God if I catch you looking at me-"
"Quit your whining. I'm not some pervert. I don't try to go looking for people when they're naked, unlike some people who enter a shared bedroom without-"
"Don't even finish that sentence! I didn't want to see you naked! I wish we had bleach cause I would have poured some into my eyes by now." You finish gathering what you need and head for the door. "Do not come outside. I am dead serious. I will drown you if I see you looking." You threaten before shutting the door.
"Don't flatter yourself! No one wants to see you naked!" He shouts as you leave the cabin.
You set your towel down in some grass to keep it from getting dirty and then look around one last time. Mostly just back to the cabin to make sure Soap wasn't looking through the windows or on the porch, but also the surrounding area. It felt very unnatural to be getting naked outside. As much as it bothered you Soap was around, you feared someone else might be too.
Stripping down quickly, you leave your clothes in a pile and rush into the water. You would like to have folded them nicely, but you just wanted to get into the water and feel little more covered up again.
The water was cold. Despite the sun being out and shining on its surface, it was still a lake. The first few minutes of bathing is very tense. You keep watching the cabin, fearing Soap is going to come out, or you’re going to see his face in one of the windows, but there is no sign of him. After a while, you start to relax. You wash your hair, the scent of your shampoo providing a little feeling of home. It's when you're scrubbing your body with your loofa that the peace is disrupted.
"Oi, States!" Soap's voice has you quickly sinking into the water and covering your chest. He's walking across the yard (if you could call it that) with his eyes trained on the ground. "Hey, there's-"
"What did I tell you?! I'm fucking naked, go away!" You shout at him as he just keeps getting closer.
"I'm not even looking at you!" He exclaims, and it's true. He's not looking at you. His eyes as on the ground, looking off to the side, or covering the side of his vision the entire time.
"I don't care! I don't want you here! Go!" You keep shouting.
"Fucking listen! There's a storm coming. You need to get out, and we need to get some wood and make sure the cabin doors are blocked. If it gets windy it's going to blow those doors open."
You glare at him, staying where you are in the water. There was a bright blue sky above you, birds were singing, and it was warm. It did not look like it was going to storm out. You thought he was just making stuff up to interrupt your bath time.
"Yeah right." You roll your eyes.
"States, I'm telling you, get your ass out of the there now. There's pitch black storm cloud coming from that way," he motions off behind the cabin, gaze turning upward while his hand is busy. "We probably only have about fifteen minutes before it hits us."
"Are you serious? Cause if you're not-"
"Of course I'm bloody fucking serious! You think I'd be out here, risking seeing your ugly naked ass, if I wasn't?!" He shouts. "Come on! Move your ass!" He starts to walk towards you, his eyes still on the ground.
"Soap I swear if you come in this- what are you doing? Hey!"
He'd grabbed your clothes and was walking back to the cabin. "Come on, States! I don't have time for this! Get out of the water!" He shouts over his shoulder at you.
You're quickly scrambling to get out of the water and get your clothes back. He was kind enough to leave your towel behind, and you grab that and wrap it around your body as you stumble after him.
"You fucking jerk! Give me my clothes!" You catch up to him and grab a handful of the back of his shirt, yanking it hard to make him stop.
He jerks back slightly and turns to you, his eyes automatically drifting down your figure. "Oh good, you're wearing a towel." He shoves the lump of clothes at you, almost making you drop said towel in the process. You'd only been using one hand to keep it wrapped around your body. "Go inside, get dressed, and come help me get wood." He instructs you, brushing past you to head towards the trees.
You stare at him in utter shock and confusion. At this point you knew he wasn't joking. For whatever reason, he thought there was a storm coming. Still, you would have gotten out if he just went away. He didn't have to steal your clothes to make you come out.
You head to the cabin, get dressed, and try to dry and comb your hair the best you could. Before you go out back to help Soap gather wood like he wanted, you peak out the front door, looking for these pitch black storm clouds he'd been so stressed about. You didn't see any, and there were too many trees in the way to see far off into the distance. Frowning to yourself, you go out to look for him.
Soap is gather tons of sticks when you find him. He even managed to find a small log or two. He was on his way back by the time you came outside.
"Great, you finally decided to come help. Start getting wood. And maybe some large rocks if you find some. We can prop them against the doors to keep them shut." He tells you in passing, pulling the cabin door open and going inside.
You check the sky one more time in case you'd missed these rain clouds. Still nothing. When the cabin door opens up again, you look back to Soap as he comes out.
"Soap, I don't see any storm clouds." You wanted to believe him, but you honestly felt like this was all some trick to just get you to help him get wood.
"They're all over there," Soap repeats in a frustrated tone, motioning once again off in the direction you'd looked earlier. "What the fuck is so hard to understand?"
"I didn't see any!" You frown, getting an annoyed look from Soap.
"Can you just fucking trust me?! If you don't want to help then just go back inside, sit on your lazy ass, and let me fucking get wood!" He yells, storming off to keep gathering sticks.
You roll your eyes, letting out a frustrated growl as you stomp after him to help him collect wood. This was ridiculous. If there was no storm, you might just kill him.
***
It was about ten minutes later that you fully believed Soap. The sky above you seemed to darken instantly, and suddenly, you could hear thunder rumbling in the distance. You managed to get tons of sticks and decent sized logs. You also found some rocks to roll in front of the doors to keep them shut in case there was wind.
Now inside, looking out the window, you watch as fat, heavy raindrops start to splatter against the wooden deck. It starts with only a few before turning into an all out downpour. It's accompanied by wind shortly after, which does make the doors shake a bit.
"How long do you think this is supposed to last?" You ask, flinching as a bright flash of lightening momentarily blinds you before a loud crash follows it. It makes the glass windows rattle a little.
"Hell if I know." Soap mutters, shouldering the front door to try and make it close better. You roll your eyes.
"Well I just figured I'd ask the guy who magically knew it was going to rain and predicted there would be wind." You grumble.
"I'm not some fortune teller who knows the future, I'm just not fucking blind!" He growls at you.
"I didn't see storm clouds!"
"We've established you're pretty fucking blind! That's not my problem! You know, you should be thanking me instead of being an ungrateful brat!" Soap’s sharp voice cuts through the darkness.
"After the way you treated me this morning?! You're out of your mind." You cross your arms. It's dark, so you can't really see each other, but you can feel Soap’s intense glare burning into you.
"Oh, look who's the victim! Poor little States... like you know anything about what that's like." He mutters that last part. You almost don't hear him.
"I'm more of a victim than you-" you begin, ready to lash out about witnessing the horror of his pale white ass from earlier, but Soap’s sudden, ice-cold tone cuts you off.
"You don't want to finish that sentence, States. You don't know anything that I've been through." His words hang in the air, heavy and dangerous.
You watch his outline on the other side of the room, which wasn't too far away. Any smart retort you had dies on your tongue. His words have a weight that make you pause, and you can’t help but wonder darkness he’s hinting at. The silence stretches on, taking on a rather unsettling edge.
"Then tell me." You finally offer, not able to see the surprised look that passes through Soap's eyes due to the darkness. He covers it up with a huff, shaking his head, though you can't really make that out too well either.
"I'm not sharing any part of my life with you, States. Just drop it."
He retreats to the bedroom then, door shutting heavily behind him. You don't make a move to follow after him. You just sigh to yourself and rub your face. The tension in the cabin was high again, though this tension was different than before. You just hoped the storm would let up soon so you can get some air.
***
Roughly forty minutes later, any hope of the storm dying off is gone. If anything, it's staring to get more violent. You're trying to make lunch, or maybe dinner at this point, when there's a loud snapping sound from outside. It's the sound of a limb snapping off.
It lands pretty close to the cabin and makes a loud sound as the branches scrape against the building's wooden sides. You let out a sharp yelp and jump back from the stove, heart hammering in your chest.
A second later, Soap is coming out of the bedroom, clearly having heard the noise too. You would have been shocked if he hadn't. It was loud.
"The fuck was that?" He asks, going for the flashlight and clicking it on. He's shining it up at the ceiling, thinking the branch had landed up there and broken through.
"I don't know. A branch must have snapped off. It sounded like it landed on the other side of the wall." You tell him. Soap was searching around, checking all the corners of the space and even trying to look out the windows to see outside.
"I hope this storm dies down soon. Last thing we need is for a tree to land on this place." He mutters, clicking the light off when he doesn’t find any damages.
"Oh don't say stuff like that. Now it's totally going to happen." You frown, grabbing a jar of jam from the shelf.
You wince as another loud crash of thunder seems to go off right above you. It was deafeningly loud and made you slam your hands against your ears. In the process, you drop the jar, and it shatters as it hits the ground.
You might have been a grown woman in the military, but thunderstorms still freaked you out just a little bit. Especially when you were in the middle of the woods, with no radio, surrounded by trees, while it was down pouring and there were winds that might put tornados to shame.
"Ah, fuck." When the rumbling has subsided, you look down at the ground and curse at the mixture of jam and sharp glass shards on the floor. "I don't want to hear you bitch about me dropping that, cause you don't even like jam." You tell Soap, expecting a quick retort back from him, but you get nothing.
"Soap?"
Apparently thunderstorms didn't just freak you out. When you looked over at Soap, he was leaning against the wall and fists clutching the fabric of his pants. His breathing sounded a little labored, and you frown.
"Soap? Are you alright?" You ask cautiously, and he nods.
"Yeah.. yeah, M'fine..." He mutters to you, but you can tell he isn't. "I just... I need to.." His voice trails off as he stumbles towards the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
You hesitate for a moment before following, cautiously opening the door. Soap is sitting at the edge of his cot, his head in his hands, and his whole body trembling. It’s clear he’s having some kind of PTSD episode.
"Soap, what's wrong? Just tell me." You calmly say, wanting to help him, but unsure how.
"M'fine... I just need to calm down." He replies shakily, confirming your suspicion.
It was quite common for people in the military to have PTSD. The loud thunder boom from earlier must have trigger some memory for him.
"Hey, it's alright. It's just you and me out here. No one else. We're safe." You say, trying to ground him. His breathing is still erratic.
"I know we are! I just can't get my body to accept it." He snaps, frustration lacing his words.
"Just breathe, Soap. It's ok. Look at me." When he doesn’t respond, you get down on your knees in front of him. His eyes are unfocused, filled with panic. Despite how you feel about him, it’s hard to see him this way.
"Deep breath alright? Breathe in and hold it for five seconds, then slowly exhale." You instruct him, starting the breathing exercise in hopes he’ll follow.
“States, I said I’m fine! Please.” He gasps out, hands shaking as he grabs your shoulder and tries to push you away.
You stay where you are though, pulling a hand over his and continuing the breathing pattern. “You’re not fine! I’m not going anywhere, Soap. Just breath with me.”
He finally caves, his breathing too erratic for him to argue further. At first, he struggles to take deep breaths, but gradually, he begins to mirror your breathing. Slowly, his breaths become more controlled, the panic in his eyes starting to fade.
Once he's able to breath again, you get to your feet and place your hand on his back. "You alright now?" You ask softly, allowing him a moment to collect himself. He nods instead of answering you.
"Sit tight, I'll get you some water."
When you return with the water, he’s sitting up more, looking slightly more composed. He accepts the water you bring him and takes slow sips.
"You got PTSD?" You ask slowly, and he nods, staring down at his feet.
"Who doesn't in this line of work?" He responds, voice slightly tinged with bitterness.
"Yeah... I got it too." You admit. "That breathing exercise always helps me."
"You have a lot of episodes?" Soap asks, his voice monotoned and distance, as if he's still somewhere else.
"Used to. I got counseling early on, which really helped. What about you?"
"Haven't in a long time. Not since joining the forces." He answers, which confuses you a little. Did he mean before joining the task force?
You decide not to push it. He needed time to come around yet, and you want to give that to him. Giving his shoulder a soft squeeze, you head back to the kitchen.
"I'm gonna finish making lunch.. or dinner.. You want a sandwich?" You ask him, and he nods again.
"Yeah, sure... thanks."
You watch him a second longer before turning to go. He’s still staring blankly, but you know he’ll be ok now. Still, you leave the door open in case he starts freaking out again.
Soap always seemed invincible, but you guessed he was human after all. Who knew it'd be a thunderstorm that'd finally reveal his human side to you.
As you go back to making the sandwiches, Soap stares at the broken glass on the floor, the hairs at the back of his neck standing up. One of his scars seems to burn as if he’d received it just yesterday and not almost ten years ago.
He stared at the sharp shards of glass until you finally pick them up.
#call of duty#enemies to lovers#john mactavish#soap call of duty#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#ghost riley#simon ghost riley#soap smut#soap mactavish smut#call of duty soap#soap x reader#soap mactavish#soap x you#soap and reader angst#soap and reader smut#soap and reader enemies to lovers#soap x reader enemies to lovers#soap and reader#john mactavish x reader#John soap mactavish and reader#soap and reader fanfiction#soap x reader fanfiction#soap x reader smut#soap x y/n#soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish and reader smut#john mactavish x you#soap x oc#soap angst
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Rings of Power Masterlist
*all fics posted so far are x reader, written with fem!Elf!reader in mind
These works are also being gradually added to my ao3 account.
🎀 - contains smut
-> Sauron
Ruin - in which you share a moment alone in the forge
Misled - in which he tries to convince you that your father, Lord Celebrimbor, is the darkness you saw in the Unseen World
Distraction - in which he blinds you to the invasion of Eregion by giving you a taste of what you desire
Choice - in which you try to persuade Halbrand to follow you to the Southlands, regardless of his past
Decision - in which you find out why Halbrand has been distant despite the intimacy you shared in Númenor, and now it’s your turn to decide whether or not to follow him on the path ahead
Perfect illusion - in which you have to sit at your father’s side while Sauron coerces him into finishing the Nine, realizing just how blind you have been all along
🎀 Inspiration - In which you struggle coming up with new designs for the Nine, and the Lord of Gifts helps you overcome your creative block
🎀 Further inspiration - in which you discover Annatar aiding Celebrimbor in his work with the same unconventional method he used with you, but that doesn’t mean he has discarded you
-> Evil!reader (chronological order)
* technically these share the same reader, but as the fics were not written in chronological order, each of them is either self-contained or has some info beforehand so it’s not too confusing wherever you start. So feel free to read them as a series or simply pick what sounds good to you.
* playlist for vibes
*some crazy memes about these two here and here
Remade - in which you nurse Sauron back into his physical form, eager to be reunited with your great love once more
🎀 Tides of fate -> in which your newly returned husband is unsure of the path ahead, and the sea itself tries to deter you from the one you choose together
Reunion - in which your husband finally returns from his time in Númenor, and you make the most of the first moment you get him alone
As one - in which you sense that your husband is being tormented at Adar’s camp, and you join him through your bond to share in his burden from afar
🎀 As we are now - in which you explore your husband’s new form, and it leads to you breaching a rather delicate subject
A true gift - in which you share a private moment with your husband, then add a special little detail to his new look
Jealousy - in which you know he is only getting close to Mirdania as part of your plans, but it still bothers you
Reveal - in which you can’t seem to quell Celebrimbor’s suspicions, and he finally learns the true identity of you and your husband
🎀 Theatrics - in which Celebrimbor tries to expose you and your husband to the people of Eregion, but you play the role of the innocent maiden to perfection
Old Wounds - in which you guard Celebrimbor to make sure he finishes the Nine, and he makes the mistake of underestimating the bond you and your husband share
Kill and make up - in which you and your husband discover that Celebrimbor has escaped with the Nine, and it brings out the uglier side of your relationship
Defied - in which Celebrimbor manages, with his dying words, to unearth some truths which you and your husband are desperate to deny
The Two - in which Galadriel fights to withhold Nenya and the Nine, but in the end she fails to stop your husband placing yet another ring upon your finger
-> Galadriel
Lost - in which she sees you in her 2x02 vision instead of Celebrimbor
Blindly - in which you find Galadriel in the waters of the Glanduin, acting strange in a terrifying way
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Disney / Pixar RP masterlist!
GIF by film365
Reblog this post and add in the tags
your URL
if you’re a single muse or a multimuse
if they’re canon or an OC
your muse’s name, and from where they come from
EXAMPLE: scrunklyrpblog, single muse, canon, Scrunkly the Mighty ( pokemon mystery dungeon )
to be added in the list!
NOTE: if you have a multimuse blog, feel free to write as many muses as you have; if you have a fandomless OC, specificy that you just have a specific verse or their “title” – and remember to reblog the fandomless masterlist too! NOTE: this list is specifically for Disney and Pixar’s CLASSIC MOVIES and CHARACTERS such as Mickey, Donald etc, NOT for TV shows! Feel free to request any show you’d like to see a masterlist for!
Character list in movie and alphabetical order can be found HERE!
#disney#disney rp#disney roleplay#pixar rp#pixar#masterlist#rp masterlist#remade the post because the other one got Attacked by bots :(
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Randomly saying "I love you"
---------------------------------------------------
Genre : fluff
Tw : none
Pairing : Luxiem x reader
Characters : Luca, Vox, Ike, Shu and you
------------------------✧-------------------------
It was just a random day, you were just walking in the park near your home, when suddenly, someone tapped you on your shoulder. The person suddenly asked if you had a lover, which you did so you slowly nodded, a little confused.
Suddenly, you were asked to call your lover and tell him you loved him. Then you realized that both of you had almost never said that to each other, except for when you and him got together. Because of that, you thought that he would be a little weirded out, since that's not something you'd usually do.
Luca Kaneshiro
---------------------------------------------------
-> Luca's reaction is as always, enthusiastic and full of joy.
You dialed Luca's number, and he answered after a couple of rings.
"Hey! What's up?" Luca said cheerfully.
"I love you," you blurted out, trying to contain your nervousness.
There was a brief pause before Luca's delighted laugh filled the line. "I love you too!!!" he exclaimed loudly, his excitement palpable even through the phone. "You just made my day!" he added, his voice brimming with happiness.
You could almost see his huge grin in your mind, and you couldn't help but smile in response. "You're amazing, you know that?" he said warmly.
Vox Akuma
---------------------------------------------------
-> Vox’s reaction is mostly worried and a little amused.
You dialed his number, and he answered almost immediately.
"Hey, what's going on?" Vox asked, sounding slightly curious.
"I love you," you said out of nowhere.
There was a moment of silence before Vox responded, his tone playful. "Should I be worried?" he asked with a chuckle, a little worried by your sudden declaration.
You laughed, shaking your head even though he couldn't see you. "No, you shouldn't be worried," you reassured him.
"Good, because I love you too," he replied, his voice becoming softer. "You always keep things interesting," he added, his tone warm and affectionate. "I love that about you."
Ike Eveland
---------------------------------------------------
-> I think Ike’s reaction would be a blend of both surprise and affection.
"Hello?" Ike answered, sounding slightly confused.
"I love you," you said suddenly.
There was a brief pause before Ike responded, sounding surprised. "I love you too?" he said, his voice rising slightly at the end as if he was questioning himself.
You giggled and repeated more firmly, "Yes, I love you."
He chuckled softly, relaxing into your conversation. "I love you too," he said again, this time with more certainty. "You’re so sweet," he added, his voice filled with warmth. "Thank you for always surprising me."
Shu Yamino
---------------------------------------------------
-> Honestly, Shu’s reaction is just a mix of concern and love.
You dialed his number, and he answered after a few rings.
"Hey, what's up?" Shu greeted you.
"I love you," you suddenly spoke, starling Shu.
There was a brief silence before Shu spoke, his voice filled with genuine concern. "Are you okay? Did you hit your head?" he asked, half-jokingly but with concern underlined in his words.
You laughed and shook your head, even though he couldn’t see you. "No, I’m perfectly fine. I just wanted to tell you that I love you."
You could hear him move back a little from your end, clearly confused.
There was a soft chuckle from Shu before he responded, "I love you too." His voice was filled with affection. "You mean the world to me," he whispered, his sincerity clear even over the phone. "I'll always be here for you, yeah?"
<- MASTERLIST
-> dying bro this is the third time I've remade this post 😔
-> BUT YES ILL MAKE A SEPERATE VSHOJO ONE FOR ORANGE GUY
#nijisanji#nijisanji en#nijisanji x reader#nijisanji en x reader#whatever gender reader#fluff#luxiem#luxiem x reader#nijisanji luxiem#nijisanji luxiem x reader#ike eveland#ike x reader#ike eveland x reader#vox akuma#vox akuma x reader#vox x reader#luca kaneshiro#luca x reader#luca kaneshiro x reader#shu yamino#shu yamino x reader#shu x reader#luxiem hc#luxiem x reader hc
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Jungkook
𝐑𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 [Part 1: Goldrush]
There's always a certain sense of childish sadness in a man consumed by rage and anger- because in a man like him, those feelings are simply born from the pain of the past, and the crushing fear of what the future might yet make him face.
Tags/Warnings: Mafia!Tiger!Jungkook, Deer!Reader, mentioned abuse, mentions of underground fights, graphic descriptions of violence, a gun oh no, Jungkook in a suit, it's pretty dark read at your own risk, there is like a hint of fluff?, just let me cook I promise it'll be worth it, do not read this if you're easily triggered/upset by dark and violent themes please thank you
Length: 6.5k Words (oh boy look at the size of that thing)
There is no taglist for this fic.
A/N: Haha remember when I said it'll be 3k words per chapter? well I lied oops
-> Masterlist
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
Jungkook met you after his first fight for the Golden House.
Humming a tune you'd almost danced through the kitchen- though you were mostly focused on helping the other maids and cooks prepare the food for the higher up's currently invited for dinner at the estate. He remembers he'd scared you- probably due to his rather beat up face, none of it having been treated most of the time, just so he could scar up and look tough on the outside.
It had worked- somewhat. Though his hybrid genes had made it rather difficult to hurt him enough to permanently scar- all of them eventually fading, needing to be remade, night after night.
The look of fear in your eyes had been something he got used to- or maybe he simply didn't notice it after a while, maybe it became normal to see you in a constant state of fight or flight. He never saw you rest, only saw you work- but when you were away from the Boss and only amongst yourself or him, you had a certain sense of lightness to yourself. Like a feather, as cliché as it sounds.
If it wasn't for your hybrid features, Jungkook would've sworn you were more of a bird than a deer- put in a cage, fear used against yourself to lock you in and to the Golden House forever. Just like he himself was shackled up, bought and owned by the highest man just so he could have some amusement watching the tiger hybrid fight in the ring.
He was a toy to him. Just like you. Just like any other hybrid at the Golden House.
Sometimes, when no one was paying much attention, you'd visit Jungkook in his room. You'd clean his wounds, and most of all- you'd talk to him like an equal. You'd tell him of dreams you had at night, of thoughts you'd come up with during your chores, or with fantasies you had about the world outside the walls of the estate. And he'd listen to all of it, quietly, your voice soothing his wounds more than any medication ever could.
Maybe your fear towards him didn't just become normal to him, so he didn't notice it. Maybe it disappeared, slowly, and that's why it left your gaze. You didn't fear him. Didn't see him as an enemy. And maybe that's what really changed.
It was winter when he found out about the consequences to your actions.
He'd spotted you outside in the snow, white flakes falling steadily onto your head and clothes, feet naked and red from the cold. It was punishment- for caring for him, doing something you weren't told to. You'd hidden it, kept it a secret so he probably wouldn't feel bad- but the true nature of it was more selfish than that. "I don't want you to stop talking to me." You'd said when he'd confronted you about it. "I don't want you to ignore me like everyone else does." You'd cried. He hadn't even spoken much to you at all, and yet the few words he'd gifted to you were more than you had ever received before.
And so he had to compromise, and instead tried harder not to get injured in the ring, so no one would notice when you'd help him heal.
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
He knows that you saw the signs when his mind had started to slip. When his anger grew, and his sanity took a backseat inside his head.
Especially when the Head of the estate had decided it would be a delight to make you watch Jungkook fighting in the ring every time he had to as a way of trying to make you stop your foolish actions of helping the fighting hybrid- to show you how cruel and brutal the otherwise quiet and reserved tiger could really be, as he'd dislocate limbs and break bones night after night with a certain sense of bloodthirst in his gaze, eyes no longer kind but cold. How he'd bite and scratch with pure intent to hurt and end the fight in his favor, no matter the outcome for his opponent.
Jungkook knows that your view on him changed back then, even if you did not tell him that. He could feel it, in the way your hands would begin to tremble before touching him, or how you'd suddenly no longer reach out to him.
Gone was your attachment to him, murdered was any emotional connection you'd been creating.
At the end of the day, you had been nothing but a puppet to the head of the Golden House, nothing but a doll fed with orders because no matter what, you'd do it if it meant you'd survive another day. You would've probably even killed him if it had been asked of you- even though he wouldn't have let you.
You wouldn't have stood a chance against him.
The kiss you'd shared had been more than questionable, and he does feel bad about the circumstances back then.
He knew that it could've gotten you killed if anybody had ever caught you both, and he also knows that if it wasn't for his own initiative, you would've never made that step either. But he loved you, he loved you so much it hurt, and he hated being hurt because it was a constant for him he could never escape.
Everything he did, every situation he found himself in, every waking moment had been nothing but pain in one way or another. Nothing could soothe that ache in his body, could somehow make that burn in his bones feel a little lighter.
Nothing but your touch.
You cared. Even though he knew that you feared him, you still cared. And he hated it.
Why didn't you push him away, make him angry at you so he could have a solid reason to just get rid of you? The only reason he continued to endure wasn't so he could survive- he never gave a fuck about survival, none at all. But the heartbreak in your eyes, the fact that you'd be alone, the memory of you crying so bitterly about being ignored and put aside was continuously making him pull himself back up whenever knocked down, to win the fight and come back to the Golden House-
where you'd wait for him, soft hands on his skin relieving his rage just for a moment. Giving him a second to breathe. Where you'd kiss his wounds, and lift all the weight off of him for just a second.
And then you betrayed him.
"Thats a train ticket! I got it from Chun, she said it'll take you to busan." You'd told him, panic in your eyes as you'd pushed the slightly torn canvas bag filled with clothes and other necessities further into his arms. "After your fight tonight, there will be a dog hybrid named Min Yoongi in the locker room. He'll take you to the station.!" You said.
"And you?" He asks, dreading the answer he'd inevitably get.
"I'll be your insurance." You'd smiled.
"He'll take all his anger out on you-" He'd worried, and you'd nodded, and never looked so brave.
"I know." You'd told him. "But you'll live- and that's enough for me."
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
"Flake has been replaced with Dohyun. The people aren't very happy with it, but he'll make them accept the change soon enough." Namjoon offers, setting some papers down in front of Jungkook, who looks like he might be asleep- face resting on his hand, arm perched up with his elbow on the armrest of his chair.
"Hm, they're never happy when a hybrid's on top." He mumbles lowly, eyes not opening. "I assume Flake didn't go… voluntarily." He asks.
"No." Namjoon responds. "Was executed on his balcony."
"Classy. I like it." Jungkook chuckles, eyes slowly opening as he takes in a deep breath. "Hm, I'm hungry-" He starts, looking at his watch on his wrist. "-let's hope Hideo doesn't piss me off tonight, or I might just have to swap him too." He growls, slowly getting up to prepare for the dinner he has to attend with the human gangleader.
Jungkook had the chance to get out. He's been given the chance after all, by the only person he's ever really considered he 'loved'- and yet his thirst for blood wouldn't let him go. The need for revenge was way too big inside him to be just satisfied with living his own life away from his past- but he couldn't.
They took everything he ever had away from him. They took you away from him. And he'd never forgive that.
So he began to convince Yoongi to join him in his plans, took the first few pillars out to make the fundamentals of the underground gang life crumble. He shook up the entire game, and began to 'swap out' human leaders with hybrids from his own rows- a gang he'd build up himself, consisting of almost exclusively hybrids of all kinds. He knows he's not doing any good with the way he's doing things- but he doesn't care.
If he can't change the game, he'll become the best player instead.
And currently, he's definitely on the road to take the seat as the king.
"Jungkook!" The rather eccentric man stands up, opens his arms for the hybrid who does not attempt to return the gesture or accept the invitation at all. "My favorite big cat, come take a seat!" He laughs it off, sits down with Jungkook, who keeps his face stoic and expressionless. "Can we have some chairs here please? I'd hate for your friends to stay standing while we eat-" He tries, but Jungkook shakes his head.
"No need. I'd rather have them pay at attention." Jungkook responds, and Hideo laughs in front of him.
"Always so on edge. Never change my boy!" He jokes, before the food is being placed on the table. "So. I heard you let Flake tumble down his balcony like a dramatic movie-climax." He chuckles, cutting into his steak. Jungkook nods, begins to eat as well, but keeps his eyes on the man in front of him. "Quite the spectacle. Made the higher up's a little nervous." He tells him.
"Good." Jungkook simply answers, and Hideo laughs.
Hideo is one of the only few human leaders left in his original spot- mainly because the man is rather interested in surviving, and keeping his head in one piece. He's smart, albeit a little bit unhinged- sometimes even causing Jungkook himself to feel uneasy around the man. He's a wildcard, and does what he wants whenever he wants, only follows rules if they're in his favor.
So Jungkook is wary of him, and doesn't trust that man as far as the bridge of his own nose.
"They say his minions aren't too happy with your new choice." The man mumbles, shrugging his shoulders however, clearly unbothered. "But they just don't like the change. What you should worry about however, is the money you're loosing." He says, making Jungkook's eyes sharpen.
"What money are you talking about?" He asks, finishing up his plate.
"The money you're not aware of." Hideo chuckles. "Flake had two daughters, and rumor has it they both emptied their bank accounts a few days before you struck and pushed Rapunzel down her tower." The man informs him, licking his knife while looking at Jungkook, who tries hard to make nothing visible on his face. He knows exactly what the man is trying to tell him.
Somehow, those daughters knew Jungkook would attack. Which in turns, means someone told them.
Which hints at a snitch.
"Sakata is currently finding them as we speak, so no worries about that." Hideo suggests, finishing his meal as he wipes his mouth with a napkin. "The only thing you should do, would be to.. sniff out who needs to go, so to speak." He says, grinning at Yoongi, who pins his ears back in irritation at the joke. Jungkook leans back, tilts his head once, before he stands up.
"I want to know the whereabouts of those two daughters the moment you have them." Jungkook says dryly. "Do not kill them. I want to.. talk to them personally." He orders, and Hideo laughs, nodding with his hands clapping once.
"Of course! Oh and-" The human man grins, and it tells Jungkook that the man has something to say that will definitely cause problems. "-I heard my dear Chisoo left you a present at your estate?" He says, catching Jungkook off guard for a second, as the tiger hybrid looks to his side towards Namjoon, who shares an equally confused gaze. "Oh, you've not seen it yet? Hm, it does explain his good mood, doesn't it?" Hideo asks one of his guards who doesn't react. "Ah, I really liked that guy. Don't be too harsh on the boy, yeah? He doesn't know how to.. read a room, you know? His jokes can be terrible." He laughs.
Jungkook slowly leaves, but as soon as he sits inside the back of his car, he's growling out orders. "Call Chisoo right now." He demands Namjoon, who already dials the number. "If he doesn't answer we'll pay him a visit right now." He says, waiting for the speaker system of his car to reveal the voice of the man.
"Jungkook! What's up my guy?" The young voice chimes out.
"Cut the shit. What did you do?" Jungkook demands, and Chisoo just laughs on the other end.
"Oh you've not seen it yet? I thought you'd like it!" He says, clearly eating. "Saw the poor thing and remembered something I heard from a former guard of the Golden House." He chuckles, and Jungkook's blood runs cold. "Look man, I have some urgent business right now. If you don't want it, you can just get rid of it- I won't judge." He laughs, before he hangs up the phone.
"Tell Seokjin to check the premises before we drive back." Yoongi informs him from the driver's seat, instructing Namjoon who calls the man right away.
"Seokjin." Jungkook says as the phone is picked up. "What the fuck did Chisoo bring?" He demands to know, and grows increasingly uneasy when the answer isn't what he hoped he'd get.
"I.. you should just not worry about it. It was probably meant to just anger you." He tells the tiger hybrid, not specifying things. "I've already dealt with.. it, just-"
"That's not your decision to make." Jungkook growls. "I'm on my way back right now, and I want whatever it is in my office before I'm back at the estate. Am I making myself clear?" He demands.
"..yes." Seokjin simply complies, though with great hesitation.
Because he knows, the moment Jungkook knows what it is, there will be nothing capable of calming Jungkook down.
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
One, two, three.
You're counting each tick of the clock standing on the table in the office, waiting for something to happen. That's all you've been instructed to do- the man earlier having escorted you here, and just told you to 'wait', and nothing else. So you do just that, naked feet on the soft carpet, intricate details on the fabric almost hypnotizing you. It's already a lot warmer in here than in your room at the Golden House- and the man who brought you here had given you his jacket too, probably because he thought you were shaking from the cold.
Which you did- but you also tend to shiver from fear, mostly due to your hybrid instincts.
Just.. in here, you don't really feel scared. It smells familiar in here, like something you forgot existed- almost like a childhood memory, far away but reawakened right in this moment. It soothes your worries and slows down your thoughts tremendously.
ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six.
You can hear faint noises now, ears turning towards the door behind you, though your body otherwise doesn't move. you don't dare to, since the handcuffs around your wrists might make a noise, and no one told you if you were allowed to move anyways. So you just stay still, even when you can hear someone argue in front of the door, angrily, upset. The voice is familiar, again- but you don't recall a face to it whatsoever.
One hundred.
The door opens, people walk in. Your face stays lowered, you don't even dare to swallow the saliva in your mouth. "Why the fuck did he send me a hybrid?!" Someone growls, and it makes your throat clog up, angry tone causing your muscles to tremble once more. "Fuck. And why is she not-" He starts, before he stops right next to you, frozen in place almost like you are- though due to different reasons.
"Jungkook-" Someone sighs, when Jungkook next to you talks again, but in a truly bone-chilling tone.
It's so low, and steady, that it makes everyone wordlessly follow the command.
"Out." He says. "Everyone, out, right fucking now." He growls, and both Namjoon and Yoongi leave, though the dog hybrid hesitates a little- shocked as well by the sight of you, most likely.
Once the door closes, it quiets down. All you can really hear is the way the man called Jungkook walks around, paces for a good while, clearly in distress. You're not sure why you're causing him to be like this- maybe he doesn't know if he wants to kill you or not. Or he's fighting primal urges to hunt you down as a predator hybrid. It could be a lot of things.
You lost track of the ticking. You can't hear it properly with Jungkook moving around like that.
"Don't- stop doing that.!" He suddenly says, and you notice yourself panicking. What are you doing right now? You're not moving, you're not looking at him, and neither have you said anything- though that's out of the question anyways. What are you doing that you need to stop? You're barely even breathing- maybe that's it? It's an odd request, and you doubt you can properly follow it for long, but if he wants you to do that-
"Stop being scared!" He suddenly roars at you, hands on your shoulders making you whimper out of pure instinct, as you watch his chest rise and fall rapidly. "Don't-.. I'm not.." He stammers, before he takes a deep breath, seems to control himself as his hands leave your shoulders, instead push themselves into the pockets of his slacks. "Look at me." He demands, and you do just that.
His hair is fairly long, growing over his ears, curly and a deep black. There's two round tiger ears between his wild hair, one of them a little torn, but the scar seems long healed. His eyes are piercing, watching you intently as if he's searching for something with desperation, jawline sharp but his face has a certain roundness to it.
It doesn't distract you from the danger he radiates, tail swaying impatiently behind him. He's a tiger, in every way- large shoulders and powerful muscles unable to be hidden even underneath the suit he wears.
But there's a certain shift in his posture and most of all his gaze as he seems to realize something about you.
"Who am I." He asks, or more so orders you to answer. You begin to panic once more. How are you supposed to answer that? "Who. Am. I." He repeats slower, and you open your mouth to say something-
though no coherent word leaves your lips, only barely a noise that even sounds like it hurts, and it makes your eyes sting.
Jungkook seems to grow angry again. Is he upset that you can't answer? Will he kill you now, because you're unable to give him a proper response?
"Do-" He looks absolutely devastated, and for some reason, it makes you sad. "Do you know who I am?" he quietly asks, bracing himself for the answer he might receive.
Though nothing could prepare him for the pain he feels in his entire body when you quietly shake your head, confirming his worst fears.
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You've not only forgotten him- but everything else too, it seems like, according to Namjoon, who'd been trying to sort you out since Jungkook left you in his office, unable to really have you close like that any longer. His friend had tried it all, and had also let someone with medical knowledge have a look at you- which also gave an explanation about why you just won't talk.
You can't. It's not clear what exactly must've happened, but there's a definite injury there that won't let you make any sound without pain.
It's now pretty obvious to him that you must've gotten caught giving him a way out- and you probably paid the consequences for it too. Whatever happened caused you to forget most of your past, and no one can be sure if it's permanent, or just temporary. What is clear however is that you're completely hollow. There's no trace of a personality in anything you do, no personal preferences towards anything, no interest, not even very noticeable emotions.
It's not surprising to him- and maybe that's what pains him the most.
"So if you don't tell her what to do, she will just do nothing at all?" Jungkook asks as he looks through some documents to distract himself. The more he thinks about you, the darker the possible punishments that you most likely received become in his head- mind forcing scene after scene of you into his brain.
"Won't even sleep if no one tells her to. She was awake the whole night because no one told her when to sleep I guess." Namjoon says, arms crossed. "It's hard to tell what she's thinking considering she doesn't talk." Namjoon sighs defeated, while Jungkook stares at the papers for a moment.
You used to talk a lot, back when he was still used for underground fighting, and you were nothing but a maid for the gangleader. He remembers you humming random songs while dressing his wounds- something you told him was to mostly distract yourself from not crying in front of him.
"I'll fight better next time." He'd told you while you carefully placed the large plaster onto one of the scratches that's still bleeding. "So you won't have to cry."
"I want every bit of info as to where she came from before Chisoo got his hands on her." He tells Yoongi who's been sitting in the corner.
"I believe Chisoo bought her straight from the Golden House. Overheard him talk to one of the guests." Yoongi responds, and Jungkook nods.
"Good." He smirks, standing up, and bracing his hands on the table with a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. "I've got some unfinished business with them anyways." He says. The Golden House was no longer a place of fear for him- because just like you, Jungkook isn't who he used to be.
"You're going to start a war over a hybrid friend you made years ago?" Namjoon worries. "Jungkook.." he sighs, but the Tiger hybrid doesn't back down.
Because you're not just a friend.
You were his Savior, the only soft thing he's ever had in his life.
"No. I'm not just starting a war-" Jungkook growls like the predator he is. "I'm getting my revenge."
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Yoongi watches over you like a guard dog, just like Jungkook had told him to.
You'd overheard the tall tiger hybrid give those instructions to Yoongi just before he left in his car, and now you're left standing in the hallway where someone last told you to wait. "Come. You need to eat." The dog hybrid mumbles, walking a step before he checks if you follow. You do.
Of course you do.
You'd jump out the fucking window if someone told you to do so.
Before you were taken in by the Golden House, you'd actually roamed the streets with the dog hybrid together. You'd slept in a storage unit his past owner had rented before he died, a small place of shelter you eventually shared with Yoongi before you met Yuan Shun, the past head of the Golden House. You'd been way too naive back then. Told Yoongi you'd finally found a home to go to, finally found work to pay him back all his kindness.
You didn't know what you'd get yourself into. Not before Shun had forced you to get the small tattoo on your wrist that would forever bind you to him no matter if he died or lived. Every member of the Golden House had to get it one way or another- there was no way around it.
It was burned into everyone's wrist, whether they wanted it or not.
And once you're in, there is no out.
"Jungkook won't harm you." Yoongi says as he pulls out a bowl of something prepared, before he puts it into the microwave to heat it up. "He's just.. he can be a bit.." the dog hybrid sighs, shaking his head a little, unsure how to phrase it properly. Jungkook has his own problems, and it's pretty obvious to everyone around him that he's not the sanest of people any longer. No one can blame him for cracking a few braincells after what's happened to him, that's true- but that doesn't mean that he's a monster.
He's just scarred by his past, and haunted by his potential future.
You want to ask Yoongi what your connection to the tiger hybrid is. You really do- but you also feel like it's none of your business. If anything, you're simply waiting for orders, for a job you'll be working as from now on, a task you'll be given in this new place. The dynamic of things here is confusing to you, how everyone seems to walk freely, no one ever standing in one place waiting to be needed. You even saw someone laughing in one of the hallways.
It's eerie. You don't like it here.
"Eat." Yoongi says, before he holds your wrist, one of his ears twitching in irritation when he notices it's the one with the fine lined burn mark of the Golden House. "- when it's cooled down a little, of course." He sighs, and you nod after a moment, staring at the bowl of pasta.
Waiting. Counting the ticking from the clock in the kitchen.
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"I don't give a flying fuck-" Jungkook growls, knee connecting with the man's jaw once more before he pushes the chair back, gripping his face to force him to look at him. "-about your so-called loyalty." He finishes his sentence. "The only reason I'm not breaking your jaw yet is because I need you to be able to talk." He threatens, before he steps back, and wipes his hand on a tissue.
"I'm not talking. Daeho will-" He starts, when Jungkook slowly and carefully loads a black gun in his hand, pulling the magazine back to ready it in his hands.
"Daeho will what?" Jungkook almost sings. "Kill you?" He asks with feigned innocence in his tone, while he walks forward, and points the nuzzle of the gun straight at the man's kneecap. "How nice. But you see, I'm not Daeho." The tiger tells him, tilting his head a little.
"And I'm not nice."
A shot rings through the small room, followed by agonized screaming, and the gun reloading in Jungkook's hands. "Now, I'll try again. Why did Daeho sell her to Chisoo?" He asks, and the man takes a few deep breaths.
"He wanted to fuck with you." He grits out from between his teeth. "He knew it would piss you off. He technically wanted to send you a tape- you know what kind." He says, and Jungkook's blood boils up again. Of course he knows what kind of actions that sick man would have forced you to do, what exactly he'd make Jungkook watch. "But he thought-.." The man needs to catch himself a little. "He thought it'd make more sense to give her to you instead. Alive."
"Why?" Jungkook asks.
"Because you'd lose your fucking- whatever the fuck you're doing!" He groans. "You'd turn soft. Maybe even break at the sight of her all fucked up like she is now." He explains. "That's why he messed her up before you got her." he says, clearly sweating now from his body trying to keep up with the rapid bloodloss.
Jungkook is silent, before he unloads the gun, clicks the safety in place, and puts it back into it's holster on his belt, turning to leave the room. "Wait- wait, what about me-!"
"You can bleed out right here like the pig you are."
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Nothing will ever return to what it once was.
Mostly, because whatever was, isn't any better than what is now. The blood staining Jungkook's hands is still the same consistency as back in the fighting ring, it still washes down the drain the same way as it did before. There's nothing new to the way his knuckles hurt from the force of the punches he'd delivered to the man, and yet, there's a new sting in his chest that just won't leave.
Before you came here, he had at least a way of pacifying his worries about you. Before, he'd been able to just convince himself that you probably got yourself killed for him- that you'd been set free after all, finally escaping your cage once and for all.
The fact that you did not, and instead just went from one cage to the next, makes him nauseous. He doesn't even want to know what you had to endure throughout the years you'd been apart. Now you're just a shell- a plastic lifeless version of what you once were, nothing of your soul remaining inside of you. Could he even consider you 'you' any longer? Or were you now someone else?
Are you someone at all?
"Where is she?" Jungkook asks Seokjin, who'd brought him a plate of dinner into his office.
"She's eating with Yoongi downstairs in the kitchen." He tells his boss and friend, who's currently looking outside the window facing the balcony. "What do we do with her?"
I don't know, is what Jungkook's only answer can be. Because he surely doesn't- he's unsure if actually killing you would be a more generous thing to do than letting you simply waste away in the state that you're in right now. What you are, in this moment, can't be called 'alive'. There's nothing living behind those eyes, nothing but fear.
But he also knows that he'd never be able to put the gun to your head and shoot.
"Can I give a suggestion?" Jin asks after a moment of silence, and Jungkook turns his head, nodding. "What if you turn this whole 'joke' around?"
"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks, body now moving as well to face his older friend.
"Right now, her presence is doing exactly what it's supposed to." The cat hybrid says. "She's making you lose focus, makes you act without thinking. That's what they want."
"I'm not killing her." Jungkook defends.
"I'm not asking you to." Seokjin says, walking closer. "But think about it. What about her is making you feel like this the most?" He urges.
The fear you have. The fact you forgot him. The terror in your eyes. The emptiness you represent.
"Jungkook, you told me once that back then, she was the only thing keeping you sane in that place." The man says, white ears twitching between his hair. "And she can become just that once again."
"Have you seen her?" Jungkook growls.
"Have you?" Jin challenges. "You're in a place of power here. You call the shots, this-" He gestures around. "-all of this is yours. You offer us protection, a home, a place to let our guard down for once. You're not who you were before. You turned your life around- and you can do it again, but this time, it'll be her's." He says, and suddenly, Jungkook understands what his friend is trying to tell him.
This is his place. His territory. He's in charge. He's in control.
Nothing will ever return to what it once was.
Because he'll be the change it needs to turn this twisted joke around.
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"Remember, he's nothing to be scared of." Yoongi tells you, before he opens the door, and gently pushes you inside by your lower back- before he leaves you alone with the tiger hybrid in the room, no longer wearing his jacket, only dressed in a casually unbuttoned black shirt and slacks.
Even his gun is on the table. You could take it at any moment, shoot him, no problem. You know how to shoot a gun. Is he that stupid?
Probably not. There has to be a reason for his actions- you don't think he got to his position by being reckless.
He moves slowly, a lot more confident and most of all relaxed than when you last saw him- the person he is right in this moment a stark contrast to who he'd been when he first saw you. It makes you suspicious, unsure, because if he houses so many different versions of himself inside his body, how could you ever know who the real one is?
"The rules in this house, and under my hand, are simple." He says, voice surprisingly calm as he speaks. "Loyalty." He states, looks at you- and from the fact alone that he doesn't seem to mind, you guess that Yoongi was right when he said that you were allowed to do that. "As long as you don't betray me, I will offer you a safe place, and protection."
That doesn't make sense to you.
If that was true, that would mean that he'd just take in random people just because they don't snitch on him- what the hell would he even get out of that? Inside the Golden House, there were already rumors about him. That he's possessed by the drive to 'change the game' and put hybrids up on top, an odd way to live since apparently he'd escaped this entire circus years prior. Why would he willingly return to it?
Even worse, play the game he barely managed to get out of?
He sits down on the edge of his bed, and only now do you realize where exactly you might be right now. And it confuses you even more. He's letting you into his personal rooms?
Why?
"Come here." He says, and your legs move without any of your control. Like a puppet on a string you're pulled towards him, unable to really go against any orders told to you, like you're mind controlled. The moment you stand in front of him, he reaches out his hand- and you're torn by the possible choice given to you. But if he reaches out, you're supposed to take the hand, right?
Instead, you put your own in his, not making a decision at all.
Control is a scary thing. You don't want it.
He looks at your wrist as he turns your hand over, thumb running over the signature branding you have on your skin, burned in scar never fading. It's when you can spot something on the hand that holds yours, between all the ink and color he's placed underneath the skin. A scar, achingly similar to your own.
Your eyes find his- but he's not looking at you.
So he's from the same place as you once were. Is that why he smells so familiar? Did you forget him? Or did you never know him at all, and simply caught traces of him during your time at the Golden House?
Who is he?
"From now on, you're mine." He tells you, and you soak up that info like a sponge. "You belong here, and nowhere else." He says, and you nod to make sure he knows that you understand. There's a small moment where he simply looks at you, before he nods as well, and lets go of your hand. "Can you write?" He asks, and you eagerly nod, finally expecting a task from him. You'll be useful, you'll have something to do- you won't just have to stand around and wait for something that never happens. "Good. That gives me at least some way you can talk to me, I guess." He mumbles to himself as he gets up and walks past you, to dig around in a small drawer of a desk close by. "I want you to talk. If not with your voice-" He offers a small, palm sized notebook to you, a pen clipped to it's side. "-then with this."
You take the booklet with a nod, opening it to write something down. He expects a thank you- but that's not what he gets.
'What is my purpose here?' you've written, and he sighs to himself.
"Heal." He says, making you look at him confused. You're already starting to show a lot more emotions he notices, and it calms him down quite a bit, because that means that even though you may have forgotten him, you're at least slowly adapting to the overall environment you're now in. You move to write something again, before you hold out the booklet.
'There has to be a job for me.' you write, and he tilts his head at you, arms crossed, veins clear under his forearms, exposed since he'd rolled up the sleeves of his shirt.
"And I just told you what it is." He responds, face expressionless, but eyes glimmering with something almost mischievous. "Your job is to heal, adjust, and adapt to the way I run things." He tells you. "But if you want a.. job, I can try and arrange something for you." He huffs, dissatisfied, but still caving in.
You show him the opened page again, something added to the bottom.
'Thank you' is written there.
He just nods, and knocks on his door to give Namjoon the sign to take you to your room so you can sleep- and leave him by himself for a moment, as he watches the calm night-sky from his window, world steadily moving on while he doesn't know what's to come for him.
Even if Seokjin is right, there is no guarantee that this whole thing won't just backfire horribly. And there's still the looming threat of someone amongst his people who's currently the biggest danger to the house of cards Jungkook had barely built up over the years until now. If that person just so much as pushes one more card, it might all come falling down-
and this time, he'll take you with him.
If he dies, you can't survive.
Because if you do, you'll probably face a fate he doesn't even want to imagine.
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