#relationship // pasha and satan

[nevermorningstar-blog]

the other day i was thinking about pasha and satan, and how she could miss him when he’s sitting right there. she doesn’t feel like she’s laid with him in so long because he’s wrapped around her mid section with so much peace on his face its hard to tell him that she needs love too. and how it feels like he’s talking at her nowadays, telling her to do things and not repeating himself. ‘for the baby, for the baby’. and yes, it is for the baby. when he is helping her and holding her, and he is not really present for pasha for some weird reason, and of course she says something but he doesn’t really know what she’s talking about until after the baby is born and she’s sleeping so peacefully and he’s just been holding her and knows good and well he’s supposed to let her be in the crib. and he eventually does. and he walks in the room and sees pasha and like someone hit him with a baseball bat because ‘oh, oh oh.....’ she is the mother of his child, but she is still his lover, and he will be training himself to balance that out because he doesn’t realize how deprived of her he is when his control seems nonexistent. @misshoodoolady

[celimunoz33]

Cute Turkish Nicknames for Guys

These cute nicknames for guys are generally used by their lady friends or by their family. Here are some good examples of these cute Turkish nicknames for boys:

Canavar (JUN-A-WAR) – It means “monster” in the dictionary. However, it is used in the sense of superior quality.

Cankuş (JUN-KUSH) – He is the very close friend that shares his/her everything.

Cano (JUN-O) – He is the one who is considered as a very sincere friend.

Cengaver (JENG-A-WHERE) – Its dictionary meaning is warrior, whereas it represents a very active person as a nickname.

Cesur yürek (JE-SOUR YEU-WRECK) – Braveheart

Çapkın (CHUP-KIN) – Casanova

Efem (EPHEM) – My daredevil boy

Ejder (EDGE- DEER) – Dragon

Fırtına (FIR-THE-NAH) – Its dictionary meaning is “storm,” but it’s used positively to explain a very effective

Gece kuşu (GE-JAE KOUSHU) – Night owl

Herkül (HARE-KEULE) – Hercules in Turkish. It is used to express an amazing physical strength.

Issız Adam (IZ-SIZ UH-DUM) – The man with no owner. It is used for the men who frequently change girlfriends but has no commitment for any of them.

Kanki (CUN-KEE) – Bestie, bosom buddy

Kaptan (CUP-THUN) – The captain. It is generally used for the men who possess a leader status in any environment.

Kara oğlan (CAR-UH OH-LAN) – Used for the guys that have darker skin color.

Koca bebek (CO-JUH BABE-ACHE) – Used for the adult guys who behave like children on certain occasions.

Kötü çocuk (KEU-TUE CHO-JUKE) – Bad boy

Kral (KRUHL) – The king

Kuzu (CUE-ZOO) – Its dictionary meaning is lamb, and it is used for calm people.

Lord (LORD) – Rich man

Maço (MACHO) – Macho man

Malkoçoğlu (MAL-KOCH-OH-LOU) – A brave warrior from the Ottoman History and was portrayed in the Turkish movies in the 70s, 80s, and It is still used to express brave guys or the guys that have that daredevil appearance.

Minik (ME-NICK) – In the dictionary, it means small. However, it is ironically used for the huge guys such as Hightower of the Police Academy movie.

Panpa (PAN-PA) – Bestie

Paşam (PASHUM) – Pasha was a high ranked official in the Ottoman Empire, and this means my Pasha.

Pilot (PEE-LOT) – Extremely drunk.

Prens (PRANCE) – The best guy of the manager or the teacher.

Rambo (RAMBO) – Very strong man

Reis (RAY-IS) – The leader.

Sert çocuk (SAERT CHO-JUKE) – The tough boy

Sırık (SI-RIIK) – It means the beanpole in the dictionary and used for very tall people.

Sünger (SUEN-GAIRE) – The person that drinks too much and keeps the liquid like a sponge.

Süpermen (SUPERMAN) – The best guy around.

Şaban (SHA-BUN) – This is the name of a movie character, who was famous for decades in Turkey, and this word is used to express a silly person.

Şampiyon (SHAMPION) – It means champion and fathers like to call their sons like this sometimes.

Şeytan (SHEI-TAN) – Satan

Tarzan (TARZAN) – It is the same Tarzan as in English, and is used for the people who do not wear anything to protect themselves during the cold days.

Tembel teneke (TAM-BELL TENEKKE) – Extremely lazy

Yakışıklı (YAKKA-SHAKH-LY) – Handsome

Zeus (ZEUS) – A very authoritative and furious boss or leader

Funny Turkish Nicknames for Guys

If you find out the secrets of the Turkish guys’ nicknaming each other, you will also fully understand the relationships among these guys. Here are only some of the examples of a million types of funny nicknames that Turkish guys use for each other.

Angut (UN-GOOT) – It is s kind of bird (ruddy shelduck), but it has the meaning of hammer-headed.

Armut (AR-MUTE) – Its dictionary meaning is pear, but it is used to nickname losers.

Ayıcık (UH-YEA-JUKE) – It means a small bear, used for a fat or huge

Azman (UZ-MANN) – Monstrous, overgrown.

Baba (BUH-BUH) – Means father, used for good hearted guys.

Balta (BUL-TAH) – This means an axe and this word is used for the people who pester

Baykuş (BUY-KUSH) – This word means owl, and it is used for people who do not sleep at nights.

Bukalemun (BOU-KHA-LEE-MOON) – Chameleon

Camış (JUM-ISH) – Water buffalo

Coni (JOHNNY) – It is used for the guys having an American lifestyle

Çakal (CHUCK-AL) – Jackal

Çakır (CHUCKAR) – It means greyish blue and this word is used for the guys who have colored eyes.

Dana (DUH-NUH) – Calf, cow

Dingil (DIN-GILL) – It means the axle of the car and is used for the guys who don’t have balance in their behaviors.

Fil yavrusu (FILL YUV-RUE-SUE) – The baby elephant. It is used for extremely fat

Hırbo, Hırt (HIR-BO /HIRRED) –) – Boorish, stupid.

İblis (E-BLIS) – Evil.

İnek (E-NECK) – Cow, it is used for nerds.

Kalas (KHA-LASSE) – Timber, it is used for indelicate guys.

Kelek (KHE-LECK) – Immature.

Kereste (KHE-REST-E) – Timber, again used for indelicate or non-skilled guys.

Kılıbık (KHA-LA-BAKK) – Wife-ridden husband

Kobra (COBRA) – The cobra snake, it is used for sneaky and effective people

Kova (CHO-WA) – It means bucket and is used for guys who are incredibly unsuccessful at sports, especially the goalkeepers.

Köse (KEU-SAE) – Beardless

Matkap (MUT-CUP) – It means the drill machine and is used for Casanovas.

Maymun (MY-MOON) – Monkey

Mezarcı (MEH-ZUR-JY) – It means gravedigger and used for extremely opportunist people.

Montofon (MONE-TOPHON) – A kind of cow, again used for nerds.

Optik (OPTIC) – The guy who wears glasses.

Öküz (EU-KUSE) – It is a commonly used word especially by ladies for the rude guys.

Pala (PUH-LUH) – The guy who has a huge mustache

Pislik (PISS-LICK) – Creepy, bastard

Sayko (PSYCHO) – Used for the psychopathic guys

Şopar (SHO-PARR) – Used for the guys who like dancing a lot

Şuursuz (SHOER-SUZE) – Unconscious, blind guy.

Tahta (TUHTUH) – Wooden, used for non-skilled guys

Tavuk (THA-VUKE) – Chicken, it is used for early sleeping guys.

Tilki (THILKY) – It means fox and used for sneaky guys

Tirbuşon (TEAR-BOUCHONE) – It is corkscrew, and this is used as a funny calling style between close friends.

Toprağım (TOP-RUAMM) – When one uses this word for another guy, it means that they are from the same hometown.

Tosun (THO-SUNE) – Bullock, it is used for fattish guys.

Totoş (THO-TOSH) – This is used for the guys with feminine attitude.

Uyuz (UE-USE) – Used for very slow and lazy guys.

Varyemez (WAR-YEAH-MAZZ) – The guys that are rich but never spend their money.

Yılan (YEA-LAN) – Snake.

Yumoş (U-MOSH) – This is again used for the guys with feminine attitude.

Zırtapoz (ZHIR-TOP-OZ) – Crazy

Zırto (ZHIR-TO) – Shortly crazy

Turkish Nicknames for Boyfriend

A Turkish girl would call her boyfriend in a lovely tone with thousands of beautiful words. Here are some excellent examples of nicknames for a Turkish boyfriend:

Aşk böceğim (ASHK BOE-JAME) – It means my love bug.

Aşkım (ASH-KIM) – My love.

Bebetom (BABE-E-TOM) – My baby.

Boğam (BO-UHM) – My bull.

Böceğim (BOE-JAME) – My beetle, my bug.

Canım (JOHN-UHM) – My sweetheart.

Canımın içi (JOHN-UHM-AN EACHEE) – Deep inside my heart.

Canımın ötesi (JOHN-UHM-AN EU-TESSEE) – Deeper inside my heart.

Can özüm (JOHN-EUSUME) – The essence of my life.

Ciğerim (JEER-EM) – My dearest.

Çağlayanım (CHU-LAYAN-UHM) – My waterfall.

Çikolatam (CHICCO-LATTE-UHM) – My chocolate.

Diğer yarım (DEE-ERR YUHR-UHM) – My other half.

Erkeğim (ERR-KEE-EEM) – My man.

Eşek (ASH-EKK) – It means donkey, but it is used positively as a sweet naming by the girls.

Fedaim (PHE-DAIM) – My Bodyguard.

Fırtınam (FIHR-THE-NUM) – My storm.

Gökkuşağım (GEUKH-KUSH-AH-UHM) – My rainbow.

Gökyüzüm (GEUKH-YUEZ-UHM) – My sky.

Güneşim (GUE-NESH-EM) – My sun.

Hayatım (HI-UTTAM) – My life.

Kalbimin sesi (KUHL-BEEM-IN SASSY) – The voice of my heart.

Kıymetlim (KUY-MATE-LEEM) – My precious.

Kralım (KRUHL-UHM) – My king

Kuşum (KUSH-UHM) – My bird.

Maymunum (MY-MOON-UHM) – My monkey.

Mabedim (MUH-BAD-EM) – My shrine.

Nefesim (NAEPHESSEM) – My breath.

Ömrüm (EUM-REUM) – My life.

Prensim (PRANCE-EM) – My prince.

Sebebim (SAE-BABE-EM) – My reason.

Serseri aşığım (SAER-SERRY ASHA-UHM) – My crazy lover.

Serserim (SAER-SERRYM) – My crazy man.

Sevdam (SAVE-DAMME) – My love.

Süpermenim (SUPERMAN-EM) – My Superman.

Sütlü çikolatam (SUET-LUE CHICCO-LATTE-UHM) – My milk chocolate.

Talihim (THALEE-HIM) – My luck.

Tatlışko (THAT-LEESH-CO) – The sweet thing.

Tosbağam (TOSS-BUHM) – My turtle.

Tosunum (THO-SUNE-UHM) – My fat thing.

Uğur böceğim (OU-URE BOE-JAME) – My ladybug (While “ladybug” is lady in English, Uğur is a male name in Turkish and has a masculine meaning).

Yakışıklım (YAKKA-SHAKH-LYM) – My handsome.

Yiğidim (YHE-EAT-EM) – My brave man.

TURKISH NICKNAMES FOR GIRLS

Cute Turkish Nicknames for Girls

The nicknaming stuff has recently been widely used by the girls in Turkey as well. However, the nicknames specific to the girls are unfortunately limited. This is because Turkish ladies are not as harsh to each other as Turkish men do.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

things heard over the baby monitor.

“Come on, tell me where grandpa is hiding.” “He went to talk to momma.”

“You can’t do that when momma is around, alright? It makes her scared and worry a whole lot.” “But... you do it all the time.” “When have my eyes ever been black?” “Right now.”

“Now who’s that?” “That’s you, and momma,and that’s me.” “And who’s that behind me?” “Granddad.” “And that thing over there.” “Oh, that’s just the man in the backyard. He doesn’t talk. I can’t find red, so his eyes are pink.”

“I don’t want you talking to them anymore.” “Daddy doesn’t want me talking to you anymore.”

for @misshoodoolady​

[nevermorningstar-blog]

It feels like every time she rounds the damn corner to the kitchen he’s standing there with that stupid knowing smile. That stupid laugh that makes her want to just punch him really hard. He’s already taken everything she likes from this damn place, why does he have to baby sit her too? But he’s not baby sitting, he just finds amusement watching her waddle around this corner the same way every single time with the same expression. “Look at my baby--..” He always says, and she tries to push him away as much as she can, but of course he’s always stronger and more irritating than her body is willing to handle in this state.

He plays the business trip dad so well. He leaves, and they miss him, but he comes back. Even before Kelani he always promises to come back, but it feels a little bit more real now. A little. Kelani hears the door and she’s whining to get out of her chair where everything is untouched like she knew he was coming and couldn’t bother. Pasha sits her down of course so she can ‘run’ to him. It’s the funniest and cutest thing she’s ever seen because he’s mimicking her little run and scooping her up in his arms. “There’s my baby, there she goes!” And Kelani is giggling up at storm and it just feels good. Especially when he looks up at her with those damn eyes that tell her exactly what she needs to hear.

She doesn’t know if it’s the exhaustion or the hunger. She doesn’t know if she has slept or simply passed out because her brain has been on fire since she got here. She doesn’t need to see Kelani to know that she’s crying. She can feel it and everything hurts so bad. She just needs to see her, make sure she’s alright. But she’s stuck here, wherever here is, because of them, whoever they were. Whoever they were, they knew. They knew about her, and them, because the floor is lined with water, not too much. But she can hear dripping, like before long this hell box was going to fill up with her in it. They knew. She wants to cry too, but there’s none left. Nothing left to give to someone who wants to hurt them, him. She’s past the stage of wishing she never met him. She just wants him right here right now. 

She wasn’t sure how long she had to wait, but if it wasn’t her being delusional, it had to be him. She couldn’t understand the language but she knew the voice. She could pinpoint that voice anywhere, even past the snarls and harshness of it. She wouldn’t tell him later that when he opened that door, he looked heaven sent--.. hell raised. An absolute angel stained in red. She didn’t curse him or yell, just let him scoop her up like she was a child, while she whimpered out Kelani’s name. He doesn’t realize that he’s not speaking English, he’s too upset to do so. The sound of the crying is getting louder and louder, and she doesn’t know if it hurts more or less. She thinks more because see can the way he is cringing, like a knife going through him. She’s through this door, they both know it. And when he opens the door and looks inside, he won’t allow Pasha to do the same. He pulls her close to his chest, trying to hide whatever it is. She wants to see her baby, damned idiot. “Close your eyes.” Finally English, but it’s not the words she wants to hear, she refuses but he doesn’t notice because he’s looking around this room in a awed state. “Look who I brought you, it’s momma.” The crying has stopped immediately, taking on a whining instead. When he walks in and takes her it’s almost like he doesn’t want to put her in Pasha’s arms, like he wants to hold her away. “Give me my baby.” She’s had enough, and doesn’t want to play these games anymore. He does what he’s told and hands her over, cradling Pasha and she cradles Kelani. Like father, like daughter, head to toe in that crimson that they seem to love so much. With those ‘galaxy’ eyes she hasn’t seen in a very long time. She looks at her, and then at him. He doesn’t respond to her thousands of questions her eyes give, just one. “She’s fine.”

for @misshoodoolady

[nevermorningstar-blog]

“I’m not telling you how you should do anything, but you think it’s the best place to be meeting in some old abandoned warehouse? I mean, bad guy 101, never choose the most obvious place, ya know?” A laugh rattled through him, shaking his head. When Satan didn’t join in, he fell quiet.

“Wife doesn’t like the smell, we do what she says.”

“When are we going to meet that lady anyhow? I mean, we’ve known ya for forever and a half, so we should at least meet that lady you’ve been courting.”

“Yeah, Stein, I’m going to let you and fucking Shitface the Clown meet the person I’m with, that sounds like something I’d do.” Cackling was let out of the other’s mouth while Stein immediately sneered, muttering ‘he called you shitface, dummy’.

Satan pushed some papers around the table, the chaos being something tat relieved his stress. He could see it all, is mind matching it up like puzzle pieces. One was missing.

“What’s this? What the fuck happened?”

“Awh well, seems like somebody had been tracking us you know? You told us to have fun with it, and we had a MO and everything. But it’s that nosy bitch again, she–..”

“Witch.”

“What?”

“She’s a witch.”

“I mean, whatever she is, she’s always on our ass. Barely got away last time. I’m telling ya, you should just let us kill her. It would be just so damn easy, she wouldn’t even see it coming. We could ring her up by the ankles, let her bleed out or just chop her up real fine and feed her to the hounds–..

“How are my babies?”

“Well they’re uh, fine sir. They miss you a lot. Like to the point where they get pissed that we feed them.”

“Good. And don’t touch the witch. Ever. She’s mine.”

Stein let out a sinister laugh, nodding. If anyone would handle her, he would. And it would be glorious.

–

“Who you shoot today?”

She looks up at him, sliding her shoes from her feet. “Who says I did?”

“Gun powder.” He taps his nose before leaning back on the couch, legs wide open.

“I did. Was a nasty little thing. I’ve seen demons but they looked like their skin were melting right off their face.”

“Stove too hot for the kitchen.” He put rather plainly, though she narrowed her eyes.

“Speaking of knowing so much–.. we got one in custody. Thought maybe he’d know a little more about a string of murders happening. But it was a lot of heavy snarling. Thought it was just pissed off nonsense. But recorded it anyway. Sound like something you know?”

“Are you asking me for help? I am shocked and a little aroused by the fact.”

“Just listen.” She flipped through her phone a bit before it started. It was loud snarls and screams, ancient tongues.

–SATAN IS HERE, AND HE WILL WASH THE EARTH WITH THE BLOOD OF YOU, YOUR CHILDREN, AND GENERATIONS TO COME. EVIL WILL REIGN DOWN AND THERE IS NOTHING TO SAVE YOU. HAIL

He turns it off. “The regular, let me out you cock sucking good for nothing , blah blah bullshit. Don’t take it too serious.” He runs his hand across his jaw before giving her a once over. “Too tired to play?”

“Wash my hair and I’ll think about it.” She swayed her hips as she left, making him smirk. When out of view, he pulls out his phone, yawning.

[ text to : bbub ] – kill Stein. [ text from : bbub ] – don’t need a reason, but would love one for the giggles. [ text to : bbub ] – they got him. [ text from : bbub ] – *she. You’re a piece of fucking work, you know that. Someone is going to figure out what’s happening. [ text to : bbub ] – that's​ between me, you, and anyone who knows how to stfu. I got it. [ text from : bbub ] – tread carefully brother. Fairytales only last for so long before she realize she’s fucking Maleficent. [ text to : bbub ] – 🖕🖕🖕

“I don’t like to wait.” She calls out to him.

“Damn, Pasha, isn’t patience a virtue of yours?”

criminal romance // c.w. ( @misshoodoolady )

[nevermorningstar-blog]

Since his return from that departure he does not speak of, he’s been making a lot of promises to her. He didn’t mind it, it was just something he had to think about constantly. Don’t leave, don’t leave without telling me, do better cleaning after yourself--.. don’t distract me when I’m working. The last one was new since more than one occasion he’s been fascinated with lying her down on the papers, doing her on the instead. This is my life. He agreed an swore to let her work.

But he’s more or less needy for her and she refuses to even look at him. If she looks he can have her, he knows this. But she refuses to give him the time of day. Internally he groans, externally he whines. A promise was a promise was a promise. But did it really count when he wanted her like this? It couldn’t.

His hand latched on to the back of he chair, pulling her with no effort at all, away from the desk. He knows she’ll be irritated, he knows she’ll give him shit, but the need for her was stronger than the consequences so he will continue to go forward. At least she’s looking up at him, it’s mean. She’s always so mean, so pretty and mean.

“While I’m at it, might as well pull your hair too, huh?” He arches his brow at her, and they have a stare off, seeing who’ll break first. This time it was him, a blinding smile gracing his lips. “We’ll have to talk about your obsession with physical punishment, but until then--..” He leans down to press a kiss to her lips, teeth tugging just a bit before pulling away. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

She looks him up and down, skeptical. “Beg to differ.” Her eyes linger down for too long and gives her an innocent frown. 

“Not my fault, being ignored by you is--.. invigorating.”

“Then I’ll definitely do it more often.” It had a little bite to it, making him roll his eyes and push her back up to the desk. She just made him want to take her spot and figure it all out on his own, just so he could have her right now. But he’ll wait for her, he always would.

nic notes : i really liked that meme you replied to, so i did a little dribble drabble about it. one of the reasons for that is because a drabble has been on my mind lately, and i don’t think i can actually write it without emotionally compromising myself, you know. it’s just, him and kelani are lying in pasha’s bed. she’s in her early twenties, stunning like her mother, black dress that belonged to her. they’re both just tired, and its the way they bury their face in the pillows on the bed. and they don’t say anything for a little while until kelani whispers “do you think if i cry loud enough, she’ll come back to me?” and her voice breaks a little bit. and she doesn’t think he’ll actually answer because he hasn’t said anything the whole time. he’s a shell, existing. but finally he does, and kelani feels no better, but less alone.

“she won’t, i tried.”

@misshoodoolady

[nevermorningstar-blog]

before you were born.

pasha chops away in the kitchen, satan tells her that baby food is better when it’s made with love. if he loved it so much, why wasn’t he doing it right now? she hears him with her over the baby monitor. she is not jealous, not an ounce. she loves the way hes with her. but later she’ll tell him she needs to be babied to, and he’ll like it. she laughs a little at the thought, but cringes when kelani starts to cry. satan has told her no, she does not respond well to it. pasha never understood why he says no when he’ll end up babying her anyway, defeating the purpose. he said he’ll work on it. he doesn’t say anything for a while, and she thinks good. but it doesn’t last for long when she suddenly hears singing. it stuns her because it’s beautiful. she knows without a doubt in her mind its him. he didn’t sing, or didn’t want to for whatever deep rooted reason. yes he hummed, or he sang in that really annoying way she hated. but now he was actually singing. it was in a different language, but it matter not to kelani, because she ceased to cry and listened. then she starts to sing. pasha is stuck staring at the baby monitor. what was happening right now? there’s a soft ‘i love you’, and a reply ‘with all my heart’. pasha doesn’t say anything when he brings her in for lunch, she looks at them both with curious eyes.

when satan leaves, she cries. and she cries so loud. and it hurts pasha because she doesn’t know what’s wrong. she has done it all right because she’s good at it. he on the other hand, not so much sometimes, but he’s learning. but what if he gets tired of learning? what if this lifestyle bores and annoys him? she cries louder. she calls him.he doesn’t pick up. she is screaming. pasha doesn’t know what to do or hat to say because daddy’s girls do exist, that’s it, that’s the answer. she thinks maybe she just needs the smell of him. she finds a shirt of his. it smells like him. she likes this shirt of him, it fits and she just wants to rip it off. it’s quiet for a little bit. until looking at the shirt makes her heart drop because this might be the last thing she has of him. the crying starts. she closes her eyes and does her best. but then the phone rings, and it feels better. she rocks her gently, trying to talk to him and coo to her, pleading with him to come home. nothing is working, she won’t stop crying, stop leaving us like--.. ‘i’m coming back’ and she’ll get quiet because she knows that, obviously what is he talking about. ‘i’m coming back’ he says it again and her body feels it and she shudders. ‘pasha, i am coming home to you.’ her anxieties settle because it’s the truth. he doesn’t keep promises, he’s not good at them, but this is the truth. the line goes quiet, and so does kelani. she must have heard his voice. he knows the truth.

pasha has never seen him cry, not even right after crying. she just assume sometimes he doesn’t have actual feelings at all. even when she told him she was pregnant, he was excited, happy. and that was strange, but not a single tear. and it’s not like she’ll ever expect it, and maybe that’s why he did. when all was said and done, the pushing was over and a calmness set over the room, she was born. and it was nice to see him still there with a soft of smirk. he’s cut the heads off people, this was nothing it said. and it was his first time seeing a child of his being born. it was amazing and loud. and seeing her in pasha’s arms made him laugh a little because it just looked right. and then he got to hold her. what did he go and do that for? because he held her and in that moment everything ceased to exist. it was like the first time he found that room. he didn’t understand it, but everything that was heavy didn’t seem heavy anymore, nothing ached and everything ached. and he looked at her, and that same peaceful feeling rushed over him, and just like that he started to cry. things never felt right with him, not in his skin, his existence. except when he stepped into that room and when he held her for the first time. it was a feeling he could not explain or offer, but only let all eyes see.

he laid awake, staring at the ceiling. pasha thought he was joking when he said no sea food, now she’s rolled over as much s she can not speaking to him. it makes him laugh a little because she knows he isn’t wrong but it doesn’t make her feel better. he does little things for her safety and comfort. and for the baby. it is strange. he’s never been with someone who is pregnant with his child. the swollen stomach, the swollen everything. she makes it look damn good. she tells him not to be that guy, but he is. but that’s not what keeps him up, worry does. pasha, she’s fine, she can keep herself safe, but what about this baby? children are just children sometimes, nothing more no matter how hard you try and make them special. and he has to be able to protect even when he can’t be there. yes, the though of this baby being unprotected worries him. pasha doesn’t say anything when she heard the bed creak, or when she sees him moving through the darkness to her side of the bed. she doesn’t really know what he’s going to do, but its always at night he does things in secret. she barely moves when he places both hands on her belly, they’re warm. even when he starts speaking and it's words shes never heard in a dialect that makes her get goosebumps. it sounds comforting though almost like praying--.. he stops, and gets up without a word and lays back down. the devil doesn’t pray.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

if i desired such beautiful tragedy for them it would have to be like pasha and satan just chilling for a little bit but then he gets super tense and uncomfortable in her arms. and it looks like he’s trying to find his spot again, but he never does. and she doesn’t say anything, but makes a face because what is he even doing? but eventually he just moves from on her completely, rolling his eyes. and she’s like ‘what’s wrong?’ an he shrugs because ‘i have a fucking thing’ and she laughs because you have no obligations, get out of here. but then he kisses her, and she has been kissed by him before but this is so passionate and it’s almost sad how he pulls away from her even if he’s smiling. and he’s like ‘i’ll be right back, i promise. i promise i promise, i swear.’ and they’ve talked about him leaving without a word so it does mean something to her that he does this. and hes almost out the room and she asks ‘where are you going?’ and he looks back and says ‘i have this thing with my brother’ and then he disappears and it takes her a while to like understand it, and she wants to chase after him and ask what the fuck does that mean? she knows his brother and their quarrel, and that just freaks her out.

he doesn’t come home that night.

and she’s irritated because he said he’d be right back, what the fuck is a right back? he was so shitty and the worst. and she’s mad, but not as mad as she could be. and of course she goes to work, and it’s normal for a little bit. i mean, for the human side. the supernatural side, everyone seems like their whispering like there’s a big secret and she wants to know what the hell is going on. and she asks and someone says out their mouth. ‘they say lucifer is going to be tried for his crimes. as if there needs to be a judge and jury’ and her heart is now in her throat because what the fuck does that supposed to mean. lock him away, kill him! and it’s not like she can really just flat out and ask about him because well--.. that thing of him being the devil devoted to her doesn’t look good.

and she needs to calm down and clear her head a little bit, figure it out. text him, call him, nothing. she needs answers right now. and now its been days and he still hasn’t said anything and its this dread that makes her feel like that maybe he’s gone. that maybe that was their last good bye. and it’s not like anyone is telling her different.the signs are pointing to it.

then she comes home. and there’s footprints of blood. she knows they’re his, they have to be. and they walk and they stop in front of his room. and she was just about to go in but the footprints don’t stop there. and they keep going until they end up right at satan who is laid across there bed, soaked head to toe in red. he’s not moving, barely even breathing. and she sort of doesn’t know what to do at this point. and then she sees him stir, and look over at her. from that moment she knows that some of this blood is definitely his own, something she thought she’d never see ever. and he sort of just whispers

‘they almost made me lie to you. i’d say they’d have to kill me first but you know...” and he’d laugh, or cough whatever he wants to call it.

-- and if i wrote a book, this is how it would end.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

She had searched the entire house, him being nowhere to be found. She knew he wasn’t gone though, he had been better about that now. Little notes or a text that didn’t really make sense until she laid down and realized what it was saying. No, he was in here somewhere, and she was trying to confront him.

He was in that library, not the one he had filled with Emily Dickinson and books on the Cold War. He was in the one where the books rattled when your stared at them, and others groaned. He was bare except for the case of grey sweats, looking through the shelves. She wanted him to turn around so bad so she could just see, but didn’t want to startle him. Then she laughed a little, that’s a joke.

“You’re standing there, and you’ve either been running or you’re upset. Or doing both.” He said the last part as if he were tired, running his hand over the top of his head. He still hadn’t turned around to look at her and it irritated her to no end. He had bullshitted her long enough.

“What’s going on with you?” He didn’t respond, requiring an explanation. “You’re not yourself at all. It’s so much less of you now. You don’t do what you used to do. And I don’t know if you’re trying something, or you’re bored, or you found someone else, but I need you to tell me instead of bullshitting me.”

He still said nothing, making her ball her fists up at her sides. This was what she was talking about. He would usually throw some words back at her and they’d go back and forth until someone stormed out or someone was naked. And there was definitely less of both recently. 

“Am I not attractive to you anymore? Just fucking tell me, I can’t keep sitting here like–..”

“Dirty.” She went quiet, sucking in a tight breath. How could he say that about her? How could he dare utter a word like that? If she was so fucking dirty why did he even stay. he bastard had some nerve. He could drop– “I’m dirty, and it’ll ruin you.” She swallows her words.

“What are you even talking about? That’s so stupid, you’re not dirty.”

“I’m not–.. don’t you think that’s the point of us fucking the way we did, the way we touched. It felt so good to do it sometimes because it was like me ruining something else of His. Leave my finger print of something so… perfect. But you aren’t just perfect to him, you’re perfect to me now. I don’t want to ruin you.”

“The sentiment is cute, but there’s a few flaws. One, I am no ones except my own. I am not perfect, no one is. And three, if that was the only reason you fucked me Satan, I swear–”

“Not all the time. But sometimes in the beginning. You didn’t take me seriously anyway. I was a freeloading asshole who was trying to get you naked.”

“You’re still a freeloading asshole, just never trying to get me naked anymore. What matters is that I don’t think you’re messing me up or whatever self deprecating bullshit you think about yourself. That’s not the case. And when you think those things and stop doing things you used to, it hurts me instead of trying to help. When was the last time you even asked me to even take my bra off? Last time you even grabbed my ass? When was the last time you did anything that didn’t feel obligatory to satisfy me so I would pretend that you were actually doing them? I need you to touch me, not because I need to get off. I need you to touch me because–”

“Because I built a foundation on it, and now removing it is destroying the house.”

“Don’t be an ass. I don’t know where all this is coming from, but I’ll wait until you get out of this slump, but not forever. There are plenty of men willing to give me what I need.” Poke the bear.

He finally turned around, and her breath was caught in her throat in the good way. If he was doing it like he was supposed to, she would be less surprised to see his dick imprint and let it excite her. Hell, she’d still be excited because she liked being excited about it. She just wanted him to be excited about her like this too.

“If I promise to do better, will you stop staring at my dick like you’ll suck it right off my body.” He grabbed it in his hand, trying to get her attention. It only made her smirk ad slowly look back at him slowly. “Forgive me for being in my head. You don’t deserve me like that.”

“Damn right I don’t, do better Satan.”

“Yes ma’am.” He walked past her out of the room, leaving in his wake the loud smack of his hand across her ass, a squeeze for good measure. She shook her head, smiling. She got results.

@misshoodoolady

[nevermorningstar-blog]

Fuck.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

mrs. morningstar sounds like an anime character, and i love it.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

Pasha/Satan for the ship meme, please.

what is love ; pasha + satan

who hogs the duvet -- Pasha, and it’s like spite hogging if she does. Like, he doesn’t tell her that he doesn’t care about the duvet because it would tone down her dramatics, and he thinks it’s funny.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going -- Satan definitely. And it’s usually him just being annoying. But he really just wants to make sure she’s okay.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts -- Satan, he goes above and beyond, and she usually never expect him to give actual gifts.

who gets up first in the morning -- Pasha, because she has an actual job. And he’s sleeping from not sleeping the night before.

who suggests new things in bed -- Pasha, and usually it’s just things to shock the shit out of Satan because ‘what did you just say?’

who cries at movies -- Pasha, Satan can’t cry because he’s too busy talking.

who gives unprompted massages -- I want to say half and half. Satan does it when she comes home and rubs her feet. And she does it when he’s being himself.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick -- Satan. He can’t actually get sick, and since Pasha takes care of herself so well, it fucks him up when she’s actually sick. He does the most.

who gets jealous easiest -- Satan is the most jealous all the time forever.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music -- I think neither, they’re real.... uppidity as a couple. Like art ho couple and stuff, so I don’t think they think their music taste is embarrassing.

who collects something unusual -- See, he’s the Devil and she’s a witch, so her collection is way weirder than his I think. Just in theory of course, the things he allows he to see and all.

who takes the longest to get ready -- See here’s the thing, Pasha takes the longest to get ready, Satan takes the longest to convince to get ready.

who is the most tidy and organised -- Pasha, she fucking hates him because he throws shit around so much.

who gets most excited about the holidays -- Pasha, but she doesn’t really throw it in his face because she knows he’s very anti holiday stuff.

who is the big spoon/little spoon -- Pasha is the little spoon. This is not an argument. Except that it is.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports -- They’re both really competitive with each other. hey are in a ongoing game of one up right now.

who starts the most arguments -- Satan, that’s easy to admit for the simple fact that he fucks up a lot, and has a lot of fucked up views.

who suggests that they buy a pet -- Neither, because she already has a cat, and Satan was trying to teach it Latin, they don’t need anymore of that.

what couple traditions they have -- I was going to make a joke about him leaving, but it’s not funny so. Something for them I think is like I notice randomly, but a lot they do have these sort of heart to hearts on the couch a lot? Like the couch is the spot where they can say things they won’t say anywhere else.

what tv shows they watch together -- Law and Order. This is the only show that he and Pasha both talk the way through and are very happy.

what other couple they hang out with -- The neighbor people don’t count because Satan fucking hates them.

how they spend time together as a couple -- They do have a lot of sex, and that’s due to a lot of aggression they do have for one another. But they also like shopping. Pasha likes shopping, Satan likes walking behind her.

who made the first move -- Satan, and it wasn’t the first move, it was just him being a pervert.

who brings flowers home -- The delivery guy who Satan scares away.

who is the best cook -- Satan, it’s only because he has a lot of experience.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

+ mistake

write about it !

i always like the thought of them doing yoga together. i find that it relieves stress and tension, especially for what they’re going through right now. because it’s really hard to just forgive and forget, or just own up to what you did and deal. so in this time of them being sort of distant and trying to find themselves again, i think they could probably try yoga, though the first time i think it will be something like–..

s “you’re not doing it right. you have to remove the tension from your shoulders.”

p “and when did you become some sort of yoga guru?”

s “something I was working on when I was gone”

p just silent before going back to her pose.

– and honestly, it’s a conversation they need to have. what does he do when he’s gone? who is he with? what could possible be so important that he has to be gone without realizing that yes you’ve been gone for too long? and yes, he might regret even saying it, and her regretting they even doing this even the first place. but i think them talking little by little while doing something that wasn’t sex. just clear the air and stuff because if not, it’s just gonna be bottled up and nothing will be resolved. and knowing those two, they won’t feel bad for doing it until shit hits the fan and maybe they do need to go their separate ways, which no one wants. own up to shit, figure out what’s wrong and how to fix.

[nevermorningstar-blog]

happy valentine’s day.

“I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.”

And hen she had to physically listen to him explain the entire holiday that was Valentine’s day. And it wasn’t on purpose, she tried to walk away, but he followed behind her and practically started to breath that shit down her neck. The fact that she was with someone who always wanted to be like this, anti everything and everyone, made her wonder again why she was with him.

But she could take herself out, get dinner. Shit, it wasn’t like she wasn’t a beautiful desirable woman that could anyone is she wanted to. She’ll show him, Mr. Anti. All she had to do is get home, get dressed up and make sure he didn’t follow. And that was a whole thing within itself, but she would show him.

But there’s a pink note on the door that simply had “HVD” on it. Ha. At least he wasn’t that dense. 

He never was.

Satan drummed his fingers on his lips as he watched her come through the door. First with complete surprise, he was damn sure there was a yelp in there, but he wouldn’t say anything. Right now. He watches her ears search for him, and when he finally is found all they say is ‘what the fuck’.

He tugs at the balloons that are probably more than a normal person should have in one moment before wrinkling his nose. 

“Every single one of these balloons represent how many times I’ve told you that I love you.” In a strange array of bright pink balloons with hearts on them, and clear balloons with hearts on the inside, he continues. “So the pink ones are the times I said to your face. There aren’t a lot of those. But then there are the clear ones, that you can’t see because you didn’t heart it. They almost ran out of those.” 

She still hasn’t moved from the door because that isn’t what her surprise completely stems from. No, it’s because on every possible surface, there’s a vase of a roses. He bite his lips and laugh.

“Oh those, full fucking price, on Valentine’s day, believe that shit.” He makes an annoyed, but she wants an answer now. “Now there’s more fucking flowers that balloons because every rose is just one time I’ve made you cum. I was thinking about doing it by months, or something. But I didn’t want to seem obsessive.” She has to cover her face at this fact. Of course he would know that actual fucking number.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

She peers through her fingers, and he’s standing there with a box. And here she thought it was over. She pulls the bow and lets it fall to the ground and it’s a crystal bottle with brown liquid in it with too crystal glasses. She looks up at him for more explanations, and he of course complies. 

“My girl likes brown. So I thought maybe you could add to your collection this 64 year aged whiskey. I heard it was a big deal.” Her eyes widen because drinks are drinks, but once they age, they’re better. And more expensive. “It’s like us. We just get better the longer we’re together. And even when we aren’t together,” His gets quiet for a moment for to collect himself. “We’ll still be the greatest love story ever told. At least I think so.”

He takes the bottle in his hand and pours her a glass.

“To forever.” He pulls a pink balloon from the bunch before giving it to her. “To love.” And without skipping a beat, he pulls one of the roses from the vase closest to them. “And great fucking, am I right?” She can’t stop from laughing at him. “Pasha, I don’t think you truly understand the magnitude of emotion I hold just for you. How much my existence in the world has quickly revolved around you. You will never get that there’s not so much in this world that bring me to knees, and you do it every time and barely even say a word. But one day you’ll understand, alright?”

The box and glass has been set aside, and the balloons now bouncing off the ceiling, he grabs her hand in his gently, pulling her to the bedroom.

“And keep underestimating me if you want to.”

He takes the rose from her hand and slides it into strangely the only vase that’s in their room filled with roses. He sees her notice it and smirks a little.

“Oh, don’t tell me that you really thought this was a one rose night, did you?”

for @misshoodoolady

[nevermorningstar-blog]

Woke up this morning found a letter that she wrote She said she's tired that I'm always on the road To hard to swallow being alone She needs someone at night that she can hold She must have told me a thousand times before Silent cries I use to ignore God knows I love her Didn't mean to hurt her Baby I'll be Sitting here waiting on you to come home again I won't leave Promise I'll be here to the very end By your side To protect you and to love you and to be with you for life Come on home to me

‘Charlene’ Anthony Hamilton

A dream he once had.