#relationship reddit is ...uh...depressing

[dxmedstudent]

You forgot the "I (23F) and my husband (59M) have three children and I am pregant with twins. He shot my dog for breathing and has been sleeping with my sister, and his boss. Please no advice telling me to get therapy or divorce, I need to know how to feel OK about his behaviour because he said he will leave me if I don't stop acting sad."

It's so depressing.

I hope a good chunk of the posts are fake, but there absolutely are plenty of real people in abusive or very unhealthy relationships who cannot see the wood for the trees. I know I've met people in situations like that.

every r/relationship_advice post: first of all I want to clarify I could not ask for a more perfect and loving husband. anyway every day he tries to kill me,

[max1461]

I feel like. Ok. The internet is full of people who are sad/depressed/mentally ill as like. like they feel like and act like it's part of their being, you know, it's part of their self conception. And I've never felt this way, I mean I've had ocd all my life but mostly it's just felt like an annoyance (even at the times when it was genuinely really disruptive to my life), like I'm at my core a happy and optimistic person and there was just this annoying thing that would get in the way sometimes, and then I would manage to brush it aside and I'd be back to basically enjoying my life. ya know? That's always the way that I've felt.

Except since the pandemic, after the various things that have happened, I've felt really different. I've felt really kind of, depressed and anxious in a deep way, a way that doesn't feel like an annoyance, it feels really troubling. And part of it is "clinical", I mean like, my ocd itself got really really bad in the pandemic and that was a huge part of what has fucked me up so much. but part of it is just like, certain things that have happened in my life, that have made me feel really sad and pessimistic.

but what's really troubling about this is like. I think when I talk about this online, people kind of respond the way you would respond to the (much more common) type of guy who just "is depressed", like, as a condition of his existence (or at least, the type of guy who self-conceptualizes that way). and like, this makes sense, but I'm not that type of guy, and I don't really think the same things will like, help me. uh. I think this is why I get better advice with this stuff on reddit sometimes, because reddit guys seem like they generally self-conceptualize as like "average joes", as so their advice doesn't assume that you think of yourself as like... you know, at odds with the modern world or something, or like, whatever. like they assume you're just a "regular joe feeling down" or whatever. which is kind of better.

but the other thing is like. talking to people irl, I have a completely different problem. which is that they "want me to be happy" as an end in itself (because, being my family members, they don't like to see me sad), but they have a more ambivalent relationship to the things that are actually making me unhappy. Like they're not really "on my side" in a deep way, even though they care about me and believe they are on my side. They don't like to see me sad bad they're, well, they're not invested at the object level in my life moving in the direction I would like it to move. it's like. the involuntary wireheading debate, right? if that existed, well, they probably wouldn't involuntarily wirehead me... but they would totally want to, and think about it a lot. and this is how they approach their relationship with me in general. so getting advice or help from them is kind of dangerous. like, they care about me but they aren't really my allies. I actually think this is a rather common position to find oneself in with family, and it's very uncomfortable.

[floofeeeeee]

Time to be a little hater HEHEH this my rant on the Kotlc sub reddit

I HATE and I mean HATE THIS REDDIT ONG homophobia has tow down a bit but ugh…this sub Reddit….is depressing as hell

Like LIKEEEEE uh there’s a lot of things I dislike that I’m going to explain here I’ll try not to make it long but I’m a yapper SOO no promises (also there will be so many spelling mistakes erm)

Ok First things first

They hate the books like genuinely hate it, it’s wild. And not in the way we’re there just criticizing like I’ve seen on here. I’ve seen some very good points and discussions that have been overall respectful and you can tell they still enjoy the books even with the criticism. Like I’ve eaten up every book but still had the things I like to nitpick. But on the sub Reddit…it’s such a different vibe man.. like they find it childish (crazy it’s almost like it was made for 12 year old ) and just dislike every book except like the first. They constantly talk about how much they think the newer suck. They hate the plot and most of it writing. At this point don’t read it????? You clearly do not enjoy the books why are you here???

And the worst part is there are a lot of younger kids on there then here.. like these are kids who want to find a space to talk about there favorite books and your just complaining all the time…UUGHHHGBHBHH

PART TWO

The homophobia…. Sighhhhh it’s Reddit idk man but I’ve seen a few things erm.. yeah it’s gotten better like a lot I’d say compared to Pinterest but still it’s gross.

Part three my favoriteeee part! (Lies)

The Sophie hate. (Oh that hurts my soul)

Now I’ve seen criticism of Sophie on here before! It’s normal! But this is actually hate like…Ong why

Let’s just start of with the fact the if you go on there now I guarantee if you scroll down a bit you will find a post hating on Sophie. It’s all the same stuff to “I miss the old Sophie! She’s such a brat now!” She’s so annoying she doesn’t deserve Keefe!” “I hate how rude she is in stellarlune !” That pretty basic and toning  it down a lot . But you get the idea it’s that all the time with a few more things obviously. They think she’s a Mary sue they hate how many powers she’s has they call her weak and are annoyed with the fact that she can’t ever beat the neverseen (it’s almost like she 15 with very little training on how to fight and no one ever offers except until FLASHBACK. when they finally are like hmm maybe we should teach her how to defend herself! REALLY NOW? AFTER ALL THIS TIME??) they give very very little grace.

But it keeps going now there is hate for fitz…but I feel like the hate for Sophie is worse.

That brings us to our next part

There highkey misogynistic .. NOW HEAR ME OUT OKK get it they can dislike a girl character that’s fine! (It’s not /j) but here’s why I think that

fitz defenders on there and they are interesting…like I love fitz lovers on here there very cool and are respectful

Not Reddit!

A litte while back I saw post talking about sofitz break up in legacy and well…they blamed it all on Sophie!!! How sweet 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 now this isn’t me saying she wasn’t at fault at all during that time BUT neither was fitz they both were they both had there struggles and it was clear to me that Sophie wasn’t ready. But they want on a long rent about how most of it was her fault and how much she ruined the relationship…oh my. And yes it’s there opinion but when a whole sub Reddit is in favor of the man more then the woman……….I just thinks it’s weird and maybe this isn’t very misogynistic

But! I’ve seen Keefe lover on There ranting about how bad sophie is for Keefe and how much they hate the idea of them together. I’ve seen multiple post loving both of those boy and ragging on Sophie they praise the boys and hate her it’s it’s so…ANNOYING holy crap I hate it. It feels so misogynistic the way they treat those two boys with so much love and affection even though Sophie shows sighs of similar behavior as both of them BUT NOOOOO she’s annoying bratty B and deserve nothing not like my Keefe who deserves the world……….

I’m sorry if I’m not explaining well and I’m getting things wrong this is fully just me needing to rant about that stupid sub Reddit.

I’m not done btw um

Also I saw this person post such an innocent and nice question on why they hate Sophie so much. They were like I’ve seen a lot of hate on Sophie. And I’m a big fan of her can anyone explain to why? No hate I respect your opinion! Something along those lines

And man…it was all the stuff I said before long messages about why they hate her … SIGHHHHHHHH

Anyways besides that there boring that’s all they ever talk about is this and that and there litte hot takes that are just straight up hate Radom person who nos nothing about it and is like ask me questions u have no idea what this book is about! And that fun until you look at the comments and there just annoying about it..And it’s just gahhh

Anyways my wrist hurts and that pretty much the end of my rant feel free to discuss! But please be respectful this was just my frustration that I needed to get out its not that deep I swear

[fishyfishyfish0258]

[LONG RANT ABOUT FANDOM INCOMING I AM SO SORRY]

idk how to open this but ykw fuck it, i'll cut to the chase: imo some ppl in this fandom (mostly with the ppl on r/glassanimals, but its in other sites aswell) dont rlly know how to give criticism that isn't just plain insults

[more below (so it wont clog up the ga tag)]

theres nothing wrong with ACTUAL, CONSTRUCTIVE, HEALTHY CRITICISM dont get me wrong! whenever you like ilysfm or not, imo its important to like, have a healthy conversation, be respectful and be like "I like/dislike this album and imo I think it could've been better if x, y, z " and thats valid! even if its just "this album is/isn't my thing" thats ok! thats alright! I've seen people be respectful and give constructive criticism and have a convo!

I get the frustration aswell! I get that ppl wish for music that they like, and that ga dipping their toes (haha get it) into the pop genre for the second time in a row makes them feel estranged!

but the way some people try and "criticise" album 4 is just.. not it.

do some of yall think that "its not zaba therefore its a cashgrab and its mid and ga fell of and theyre sellouts" is constructive criticism? that's just plain insults with no taste! thats not healthy and doesnt start a good convo either!

like at some point you don't seem like a ga fan anymore and just a zaba stannie!

some ppl acting like zaba is superior and ga owes them more zaba is kinda weird to me cause like, they dont owe you anything! they dont know us! and we only know the parts they want us to see online!

and it's also not the first rodeo! this happened before! (definetly happened with dreamland but not sure on htbahb)

the take of "why are they making repetitive music" while you want ga to make another zaba AKA MAKE REPETITIVE MUSIC is a hypocritical take! It's not a good look I'm sorry!

and the take of "lp4 is full of generic love songs for depressed 13 year olds" that I've seen from a few people ain't good cause like, this album is full of depressing-at-best, toxic-at-worst relationships! just cause it's about love doesn't mean it's instantly generic! the lyrics aren't like "we would be together in the stars we would be so lovey dovey" "i wish you loved me back" "youre the air that i breathe", they're more like "ive been kidnaped and developed stockholm syndrome" "hey i fucking hate your guts but i still lowkey love yo- oh shit the songs ending" "we fell out of love and i cant change that no matter how hard I try". like IDK WHAT TO TELL YOU BRO! like misinterpreting these lyrics so badly my god-

also the fact that some went like "ga should be ashamed and embarressed for releasing this" is rlly sad to me, like I remember Dave saying that this is his most personal work and he had to get vulnerable first before making it, and saying that he should be embarressed for pouring his heart out is kinda :[ to me (maybe because vulnerabillity is a very important trait to me, but moving on)

or the take that "theyre making radio-friendly tiktok music" like what radio would play a song with lyrics mentioning ball gags and being tied up??????

like this is unproductive, lowkey unhealthy, very repetitive and very tiring imo. people are getting tired of the same ol recycled, poorly disguised as "criticism", bare insults. most of the time in the reddit, some here, on twitter, insta and discord. this has been repeated ad nauseam, and it's getting nowhere imo.

so uh yea. that's my thoughts on this whole thing

thanks for reading :] -A

[strangevampy]

talking about life, idk, a blog?

uh- so life has actually been going kinda well! i recently got good enough grades to be exempt from 2 tests, so i don’t have to take them, and i feel good, considering one of those classes is by far one of the hardest. i happen to be an honors student, in high school taking classes wayyy above my grade. i happen to be the only underclassmen in almost all of my classes, and somehow still manage to get good grades. am i burnt out? yeah. did i struggle with getting good grades? also yes, in fact it’s part of the reason i was admitted into the mental hospital. that’s- a totally different story for another day, but i am definitely open to talking about it if anyone has questions :) i am better now, and while i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with another mental disorder, i’ve learned to manage my depression and anxiety pretty well overall :] 

my current relationship is.. confusing, but i’m sure something will happen, not entirely sure if that something will be good or bad, though.. eh, i’ll worry about that on my own time; i don’t necessarily think relationship issues should be thrown out into the public, especially considering the fact i haven’t really expressed my concern much to him, so it would be gross of me to just- throw it out to people i don’t even know, yk? weird people like to make drama out of simple things (*cough* REDDIT. *cough*)

but other than that, my last day of school is friday, and i’m pretty hyped about it :] my mom is making me create a resume so i can get a job or two, AND wants me to join a sports camp. i mean- yeah i wanna get a job, hell, maybe even two or three since i have the time, but i also need to fix on getting my driver’s permit and shit like that, and while yeah, i wanna do as much as i can and not rot in my room over the summer, i also just- wanna chill. i got an offer to work with kids and get payed for it (i love working with children) and my mom butt in saying “you did tell her she’ll do it for free, right?” (for anyone wondering, i use he/him, but my family isn’t very supportive or acknowledging of it) and i just- found that stupid. don’t get me wrong, i would totally do it for free, but like- if you want me to get a job, and i’m doing something i love, why can’t i get payed for it? idk, it sounded illogical to me. 

anyways, since you guys stuck around, here’s some recent art :) yes a lot of it is unfinished

[shreddedleopard]

Twelve-million more reasons Historia and Levi are part of the Endgame. With Pictures.

You can read the first post I made on this here:

10 reasons it would make narrative sense for Levi and Historia’s character arcs to end together.

(This is the mega-evolved version.)

Okay, I’m going to put this out there now, and before you judge me, please just read the posts. You don’t have to agree. This is just an idea. But it makes a stupid amount of sense, at least to me. So here's your fair warning (and now I'm being bold): If you don’t want to potentially be spoiled, Do Not Read On.

Here’s the Theory:

Historia Reiss will give birth to a half-Ackerman child, and together with Levi, from the ashes and ruins of the world Eren destroyed, they will welcome the dawn of a new age for humanity, where Ymir’s curse and the power of the Titans is extinct.

I know. I sound like some crazy, Rivahisu nut. Granted, I am, but I’m not mad enough to make a claim like this without a shit-ton of evidence, because it’s such a damn twist it feels like it can’t be true. But just humour me.

Here’s the theory, then we’ll look at why it makes sense and how it might have been foreshadowed. Please note: I have less clue how this will tie in to Eremika endgame, so I haven’t mentioned this as much, but obviously that will be the other very important side of this coin.

10 months ago (In Japan, full term pregnancy is counted as 10 months), at the banquet celebrating completion of the new railroad, Levi and Historia, having had 3 and a bit years to bond over their shared experiences and become close, may have gotten carried away together and shared one night of being a bit more than friends. She’s well into her 18th year at this point, just to clear that up. This resulted in Historia getting pregnant. Okay just stay with me; I know. I know. I sound crazy. But hear me out. So this pregnancy, contrary to the belief of the MPs and rest of the damn world, was the complete opposite of planned. Historia tells Levi, and Levi immediately panics. Because, to steal Kenny’s famous line, Levi thinks to himself ‘I can’t be some kid’s dad.’

 Levi does what he always does best, and shuts down into business mode, telling Historia she will need to cover it up somehow. Historia does as he asks, probably reluctantly, because she really has developed very deep feelings for him during the timeskip, and finds some farm hand to take the blame, likely saying she made a silly mistake with some random and the father doesn’t want anything to do with the child, and so she needs a father for the child not to be illegitimate. Which is her worst nightmare, because of course, that’s what she was. Levi watches the exchange hidden in that famous hood, feeling very conflicted, because although he cares about her, he thinks it best if no one knows that it was him that got the Queen pregnant, and of course, he’s duty bound, with a vow to fulfil, so he has no time to be worrying about a family. (Silly Levi!) 

How ironic this conversation would be if this theory were true. Remember, Historia was completely willing to eat Zeke if needed. Instead, she got pregnant, unplanned, nothing to do with any plot or selfish wishes, just the result of a spontaneous act of love by two people who’ve grown to care for one another a lot. ANYWAY.

Because we know Levi actually has a good heart, he feels immensely guilty for all of this; he's just a product of his upbringing and thinks he doesn’t know the first thing about families, so it's better for all involved if he not be. See where this is going? The old cursed history repeating? Making the same mistakes as our parents? Plus, Levi is bound by his duty. He is incredibly important to the military still, and he cannot just abandon this for any of his own selfish wishes. He’s supposed to be the one to vanquish the beast titan. 

Cue ten months of Historia looking hella depressed and hopeless, and Levi being even more of an asshole than usual to everyone, and not really wanting to say too much at all, as well as making some terrible workplace decisions (lol) poor boy be distracted.

Look at his face 😭

Yes Levi. A month. Which means Historia is now due and you’re still stuck with beardy, without a solution and pretty soon no reason for the MPs not to turn the mother of your child into a Titan.

That’s what that face is. I thought he looked a bit weird first time I read these panels 🤔 He didn’t know about the wine. We see that later. Anyway, I keep getting distracted, stop. I’ll come back to this.

But fear not; Levi will have a choice to make. 

So this is where it gets a bit more iffy for me, because I'm not sure how it would work, so this could be a way off, BUT. I believe it will come to light that the combination of Royal and Ackerman genes will somehow cancel out a person’s ability to turn into a titan and connection through paths, thus making them truly ‘free.’

The founding titan has the ability to change Eldian physiology, according to what Zeke learned from professor Xavier. 

EDIT: Okay so here’s where I’ve had to tweak this a bit in light of there latest chapter. So we just had Zeke in PATHS. With none other than our second resident genius, and as proclaimed by Eren, the saviour of humanity: Armin. What do our boys have a conversation about? Reproduction and the importance of the small moments in life - it’s these little moments which matter, regardless of the desire or need to recreate. Interesting how both the leaf and baseball link back to what their ideas of ‘family’ became. If Historia and Levi were to be in the same scenario in PATHS, what would their items be? What truly means family to them both? 

Perhaps Armin and Zeke realise what is needed to lift the curse of the titans - maybe a blueprint for genes which can cancel out the connection to PATHS and the founder? If only they had a child with a new type of Royal-Ackerman DNA which might fit the bill ... 

Here’s Levi’s moment. He, with Historia, has created such a child - completely by accident, because of one of those ‘moments’ that both Armin and Zeke mention - moments that are simply just about enjoying what you have with no sense of how it might relate to anything bigger - a real rarity for both of them, considering their roles and constantly being asked to think about the good of humanity as a whole. What a beautiful irony, that in the moment they chose to be selfish and, to use freckled Ymir’s own words, really live for themselves, they set a chain reaction in motion that would ultimately save humanity. 

Where does this leave Eren and Mikasa? Good question. I believe Eren will die once the curse is removed, because tragically he is the character that has been forced to choose humanity over his own personal relationships. As Isayama has said before, Eren is a victim of the story. Mikasa will be the last thing he sees, hence the original dream at the start of the manga, where he wakes up crying. Something like this. But probably a lot better. Yeah.

Out of the ashes of the old world, a new one will be built, but through Historia’s kindness and love, and Levi’s guilt and understanding of what was sacrificed in the past, society will not repeat the same mistakes. The final panel could be Jean holding his child, perhaps with Mikasa, if she ever manages to get over losing Eren. That would be vague enough so that Isayama was able to show it to us already without spoiling much. Or maybe Jean’s dead and it’s not him at all. I don’t know. 😭

Right. Okay. So now you’re going, sweet story, but uh, there’s no way Levi could be the father. He’s so much older. Isayama wouldn't write a moment of romance like that. Not with him and Historia. YOU’RE JUST CRAZY.

Well this is where it get’s interesting. LET ME SHOW YOU. It’s foreshadowed literally everywhere. Right under our noses.

There is so much symbolism.

Dedicate your heart to what? has been Levi’s question recently. What are they all fighting for? What is he fighting for? How will he give meaning to his dead comrades sacrifices? Is killing Zeke really the extent of it? Is vengeance the true meaning of their sacrifices? Or is it something a lot more hopeful?

The answer is shown to us in the opening credits. And the ending credits. Several times. 

Levi says so himself - he keeps messing fulfilling the vow up - why? Why is he so worried about killing Zeke? 

Eren has the same questions to consider. Which PATH is the right one to take - revenge and violence with the rumbling, or love ... with Mikasa. We are literally shown what their choices will be in two virtually identically designed panels, which I’ll show you. Tragically, Eren’s choice is taken from him. He is a victim to the story - he must chose the path that saves humanity. Levi and Eren have been bound together through the theme of choices, and taking the ones which leave you with the least regrets, throughout this entire manga.

The upcoming anime episodes literally plot out the timeline of Levi and Historia’s changing attitude to one another, and then Historia’s pregnancy, it’s just so cleverly subtle. Isayama even tells us when/ during what event her child was probably conceived by just dropping dates in from other, seemingly unrelated plot lines.

Zeke gives pointed comments to Levi constantly - every other line of his is either a different jab at Levi about Historia’s pregnancy, a veiled question, or a reminder that he’s under the pressure of a 10 month time limit to do something about him, or Historia will have to eat him once she’s given birth. We start to see Levi unravel because of this, and make mistakes over and over.

It’s in official art. It’s in the soundtrack. Its in music videos. There’s interviews from Isayama that, when read in light of these ideas, suddenly take on a whole new meaning.

Isayama even trolls us. He’s laughing in our faces, the madman. Like, gotchu 🤣 suckers. While we’re all on Reddit and Twitter like, ‘Levi’s character has become so stagnated! He’s making such poor choices or not giving anything to the plot at all. All that’s left for him now is to give up and die! Be at peace, your story is over.’ OOF. Or, ‘Historia has just been forgotten! She’s become such a pointless character. Isayama just got bored with her and sidelined her.’

I’m going to try and write stuff up in the rough categories below, but these might change. I’ll link them when I’m done, and then pin this post. I’m a bit of a rambler so heads up - this may take a while 😅

There’s also a ton of people I have to mention who have contributed to this - I didn’t spot it by myself. I’ll tag them in the finished post too.

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 1

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 2

Historia and Levi’s Miscalculation: A manga tale featuring the Jaeger Bros., Pt. 3

Ackerman-Royal Bloodline and Levi’s Choice Pt. 1

Levi’s Choice Pt. 2

Suns, Moons and Songs

Akatsuki No Requiem - Right theory, Wrong guy

The Farmer and The Cattle Farming Goddess, or WHAT’S IN A NAME.

Mistakes of our parents and breaking the cycle

Memories from the future & Levi’s Guilt

Watch this space. And hold on to your pants. If I’m right, I’m getting very drunk.

[mensajeroseis]

i know u said u are shy to talk abt ur post fo3 worldbuilding but id love to hear more :33

i hope you’ve realized that you’ve opened up pandora’s box by asking me this question. its also incredibly broad, so i could go in like multiple directions.

uh i guess i’ll start with saying, I really hate the concept of the Maxson’s Brotherhood taking jurisdiction of The CW. It’s not obviously outright canon, but a lot of insinuations can be made about how much they expanded in the capital in fo4. I also saw some hc on a reddit post that pissed me off so hard that it made me vehemently hate the idea of it. 

I’ve made a post about it before but I think after establishing Temple of The Union for Hannibal, that eventually by 2287, it’s evolved into a settlement and his crusade against slavers in the capital wasteland gains enough influence for general volunteer militia (akin to the minutemen of the commonwealth) for the Capital Wasteland. A predictable enough name for the settlement would be Lincoln, though the militia themselves would probably go by something different. Asides from being the hub for the militia, it’s a refuge for wastelanders, and has a strong focus in teaching self defense in a manner of ways, and education. I find that vastly more likeable than anything involving the bos bc I like the cw to maintain it’s independence and be something like, city-states somewhat. Also I view the bos to be like cringy army recruiters.

I also like to think by 2287, Megaton has expanded to include the Springvale ruins that have since been in the process of rebuild. Rivet City, despite losing Dr.Li has probably made a lot of progress irt growing less/non irradiated food with hydroponics, thanks to vault 101 opening and sharing their build plans/etc. Plus I have never seen a problem with cars being a thing in fallout, since theyre used by the ncr, and the chosen one drives one in fo2. So I think Rivet City mechanics (I like to think rivet city has mechanics that work on the pre war fighter jets lol) and scientists rework pre war car engines to run on electricity. Im not a science geek, but it’s definitely feasible. So long haul caravans outside of the CW become more common, farmers/ranchers sharing produce becomes easier as well. 

Anyways in self indulgent kookoo crazy ari land. (YOU CAN STOP READING HERE IM INSANE PAST THIS) My general (not cleaned up) timeline for Andrés post fallout 3, is by July 2278 he wakes up out of his coma, which he was in for about 6/7 months. by August, his daughter pops out, because him and Amata had sad breakup sex during trouble on the homefront lawl. Andrés suffers from radiation sickness for several years, though its more severe the first year. No he does not become a ghoul because thats just not my vibe. His immune system becomes very fucked up though, I havent thought about it extensively enough to go too deep into it. But don’t worry he still has hot potent dad nut. And by 22 him and Amata have a son (medical insemination like I said they moved on before their daughter was born) who’s born in like March 2280. They love each other still, but as best friends, and why not have another kid with your best friend. But On Purpose This Time. By 2286 Andrés and Butch tie the knot because they’ve been dating for like 8 years. In 2288 Amata has a kid with Freddie Gomez (they had a relationship of a few years beforehand), does Andrés feel awkward about it ? yes, he suffers from overprotective misogyny LOL. But he gets over it. Dogmeat has a few litters over the years (girl dogmeat is canon in my heart) and they keep one, they name it Junior. Dogmeat passes away in 2291. Cue the beginning of Andrés’ severe depression reminiscent of when his dad died. By 2295, Andrés wants to leave the CW bc he hates being the Lone Wanderer SO BAD. And they move to Syracuse, much to Amata’s chagrin.

[actuallynotkira]

Too young, too dumb....

Dumb? Excuse you? Don’t insult my intelligence.

An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you all have spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental. I’m pretty much a pascifist. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I run a pretty good blog. All that, and I think your behavior in this ask was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

[natsspammityspamspamham]

1. Who’s your celebrity crush?

I don’t have celebrity crushes most of the time. I have people who I think are pretty and people that I admire, but I don’t have any of them that I crush on. Alongside my favourite voice actors (seiyuu), Emma Watson would definitely be up there. There’s something about intelligence that makes a person far more appealing.

2. Are you single or taken?

As single as they come! I haven’t even been in a relationship, and I don’t really have any interests in getting into one!

3. Rant. Just do it.

I’m nervous. I’m doubting. I hate this feeling in me. I feel so out of place, so uncomfortable, and it’s eating me on the inside. I wish I had friends in real life. I really wish I did, but it feels like I’m growing apart from everyone, and I’m pushing them all away because I can’t stand being reminded of my past, and I feel like every step I take is just a desperate attempt to get myself back on track, and I’m trying to be proud of myself. I really am. But I have a hard time acknowledging anything that I do. I never feel like I’m enough. I feel insufficient. I feel like I’m just a statistic. I feel inferior yet superior at the same time. My self-image is warped. I feel like I’m lying to myself and to others. It hurts. It hurts a lot, and I don’t want people to know but I do at the same time. It’s a pain unlike any other, and as much as I can say that I don’t feel lonely, I feel like there should be people in my life that I can call my friends, and I want someone that I can mutually call my best friend without them saying that they are just my “good friend”. I want to know that I mean the upmost to a person without feeling I’m burdening them. I want to be No. 1 at something. 

I dream about chasing dreams like becoming a medical professional, but I continue to realize and face my shortcomings that would prove that I’m not really fit for it. I want to do it, but quite frankly, I’m too stupid. 

I can’t even articulate what’s truly paining my mind. It’s difficult. I don’t know why my body and mind wants to destroy itself.

But sometimes, I think I fix myself better.

4. Do you think it's okay to separate the artist from the art?

Personally, I’m one of those people who usually say no to this question. Now, if you have weird kinks or like pineapple on pizza, that’s none of my business. I won’t hold it against you. However, I find it hard to separate when things are illegal or morally wrong.

Examples:

Net-juu no Susume was a really heartwarming anime, and it was one of my favourite anime that depicted a wholesome adult romance that unveiled many truths about the real world despite spending its time online, but I would’ve never watched the anime if I would have known that the director was a Holocaust-denier. The rest of the staff? I don’t know, but I felt extremely uncomfortable even reblogging content after I found out.

I was planning on watching Rurouni Kenshin, and to this day, I believe I’m missing out, but I cannot support or condone or even watch a series that has a creator as wretched as Nobuhiro Watsuki. If you don’t know, he was charged in February of 2017 for child pornography. He was fined 200,000 yen. It was a slap on the wrist. Even though Rurouni Kenshin wasn’t a reflection on his person according to fans, I don’t feel keen on watching a show created by such a man.

In regards to actors, this goes for them too. If they are not supportive of the LGBTQ community, if they are racist, if they have committed acts that are cannot be condoned, I wouldn’t want to watch them or anything. Again, I have a hard time keeping track of who’s actually clean in this world, and in Japan, there is a lot of covering up. It was recently revealed that a lot of Madhouse anime that people love were probably made at the expense of animators who are human beings.

5. How many accounts do you have?

I have a few.

@nsisbest385 - my main where I stockpile my music @natsspammityspamspamham - This one where I am really open and reblog everything that I want to reblog (no exceptions; if I don’t even think about it, I just reblog) @natsthinkitythinkthinkthonk - used to be for inspirational stuff/writing, but now it’s mostly seiyuu stuff. I post things for their birthdays. I should’ve made a separate account. @semitranslatedseiyuublog - Where I semi-translate stuff but mostly transfer seiyuu content from Reddit. @awkwardbsd - This account has more followers than all my other accounts combined. It’s for awkward screenshots, memes, and other stuff surrounding the Bungou Stray Dogs universe. @dragontypepropaganda - I didn’t tell anyone this existed until now. I’m generally not on it. I just queue and leave.

6. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Let’s see... uh... 1 for outside, 1 for exercise, 1 for my house slippers, 3 for orchestra that I never use, 2 dress shoes that I really never use, and I’m supposed to get 1 pair of slippers for outside.

7. Opinion on…

I don’t think I can answer this.

8. How many accounts do you follow?

9. Favourite brand of clothing?

I’ve been wearing more Uniqlo lately, but my wardrobe has a lot of hand-me-downs despite being so sensitive tactile-wise.

10. Name a dog

Atticus (boy) and Haruko (girl)

11. What unusual talent do you have?

I can whistle. I haven’t tried in a while, but I can put my feet behind my head.

12. What’s the most interesting school's gossip you’ve ever heard?

Keep in mind, I was only in school until grade 9-10. One of my PE teachers Ms. Snow had really scary eyes. When she got mad at me (which is pretty frequent considering she didn’t know who I was and kept calling me by other Asian people’s names because “we look the same”), I swear her eyeballs would extend from her sockets a little. They looked like they were about to pop out of her head. My sister said that urban legend states that she once fell down the stairs and both eyeballs popped out. She put them back in and carried on.

13. Ever prank called a store?

I think I almost tried once until I got a scolding or something (wasn’t even my parents).

14. What’s your coffee order?

Don’t have one. I don’t like coffee. I’m generally open to tea.

15. What’s a question do you constantly get asked?

“How are you?” I usually choose the easy route to answer to this question. I just say “good thanks”. You want the truth? I lie to myself.

“Why did you leave school?” It was a living hell. I didn’t feel safe. I was breaking down years ago. School nearly broke me, and if I stayed there any longer, I would’ve died (not an exaggeration).

“What are your hobbies?” I usually just say music and watching cartoons* (anime). They usually ask what else, and I just stare blankly.

16. If you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

I wouldn’t want one.

17. Google the top song from the year you were born

Apparently, it’s How You Remind Me by *gasp* Nickelback.

18. Rant about your favourite musician

I seriously wish I was able to go to Sara Bareille’s version of the Waitress. I wish I was able to see it on Broadway. She’s such a talented individual, and she deserves all the attention she gets.

19. What’s your favorite teacher you’ve ever had?

All of my best teachers have been outside of school. I would say that my favourite teachers are my current bass teacher and my taekwondo master who has taught me for over a decade.

20. Describe your blog in 3-5 words

Fando(o)m, ranting, anime, seiyuu, random

21. What’s a conspiracy you believe in?

I believe aliens exist. I don’t think it would be logical to assume that Earth is the only planet that has “intelligent” (I say that very loosely) lifeforms.

“But they don’t have water or oxygen” Bold of you to assume that said aliens would need such a thing. I would think they can adapt like humans and all that. I just think it’s dumb to close ourselves off to believing that there are people other than ourselves that exist in this wide and expanding universe.

22. If you could see any concert tonight what would you choose?

I would really want to see the Waitress. If that doesn’t count, I would want to see some seiyuu singing live. It would depend. Hosoya doesn’t sing much anymore, Maaya Sakamoto has a waitlist longer than my lifespan (I have no luck with lotteries), and Saori Hayami has the same issue. I would want to see Sphere live too, but I don’t know all of their songs.

23. If you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

My depression... or my anxiety. Actually, those aren’t habits. I guess the closest I will get is doubting myself and beating myself up.

24. Can you dance? Sing?

A strong no to both.

25. What’s something you can’t stop buying?

Uh… I don’t go out and buy anything. I don’t make money so I don’t buy. However, if I did, I would really want to treat myself to good food and anime stuff.

26. Crowds or small groups?

Small groups... obviously.

27. How long before a trip do you pack?

Depends on where. When it comes to the Philippines, weeks for the Balikbayan boxes and less than a week for my actual clothes (usually pack a ton of clothes because I sweat a lot and “we’re not doing laundry!”)

28. What celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10?

I feel like I don’t have a good grasp of the culture so I actually can’t say anything about my favourite seiyuu. We don’t even know if that’s their true personality. However, I feel like my perfect 10s are Emma Watson and Robin Williams. They might not be my “crushes”, but they are perfect 10s. 

29. What quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

“When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!” Nah man, you just don’t know what rock bottom looks like. It’s gonna get worse.

“Don’t fix what isn’t broken!” All because you can’t see what’s wrong with it doesn’t mean it isn’t broken. Yeah, I’m talking about the school system.

“Pain makes you who you are. It makes you stronger.” I can say that my trauma gives me anxiety.

30. If you had to dye your hair an unnatural colour right now, what would you choose?

I go by “Purple Dino” online so I’d have to say dark purple.

31. You can change one thing about your life right now. what are you changing?

I wish I could breathe properly. My allergies make it so hard for me to exist. It affects my breathing, sleep, dental care, and so much more. I think that’s the one physical thing I would change.

32. How old do you get mistaken for?

Apparently, I look like I’m in middle school even though I’m almost a legal adult.

33. What do you think about a lot?

Anime, seiyuu, my own shortcomings. 

34. Do you like your Hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

I like Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. I haven’t done my test in a while. 

35. What does home mean to you?

Home is where you live. It’s where the heart lives. It’s where you feel safe, and it’s where you can take off the mask that you live in during the day. It’s the place where I don’t have to lie through my teeth. I can cry, I can laugh, I can scream, and I can finally be me.

36. What do you think you’d be arrested for?

I feel like I would be caught for pirating anime even if I don’t profit off it. 

37. Have you ever been called down to the principal's office?

I’ve been there, but I haven’t been called down there because I really wasn’t important in school.

38. Post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

Probably a dark coloured hoodie with sweatpants. That’s my default during the winter anyway.

39. Describe your aesthetic

Tired dead eyes with existential dread and depression. That’s how I see myself.

40. Answer with one of your ‘school memes’ (inside jokes you have with your class/grade) with no explanation 

I’m not sure how to say this, but I was really not in the “right crowd” at school, and I was never let into any of these things. I can’t answer this, and it pains me just to read this because I’m missing out on so much of my youth and “high school life”. 

I’m tagging @caratheillustrious who reblogged the questions!

[maryellencarter]

memed from @camshaft22 , originally an askbox meme but it's short enough that i can just have opinions at all of it rather than waiting to have the free time to get out of the house and answer asks. (i still have at least a few askmeme questions sitting in my inbox from like a month or two ago... :P)

1. do you find force users or non-force users more interesting? -- non-force users by a mile. there could theoretically be exceptions, like if anybody really got deeply into alternate perceptions / interpretations of the force rather than just kind of toeing the jedi party line as established in the movies, but i haven't seen any that really grab me.

2. which character do you want to be most like? -- oh, now there's a hell of a question. both this and the next one, really. see, let's start at the beginning: when i was a very smol tortoise watching a star war, and by smol i mean like eighteen because that's when i first saw a star war... when i was a smol, i wanted to be han solo (not least because he was hot in a very conventionally masculine way, do not underestimate the importance of that to a smol afab tortoise programmed with much body-loathing ;P), but i identified a lot more with chewbacca. i mean, let's be honest, i was not in great psychological shape as a tiny, and this particular oddment is something i'm still very much sorting out, but: from tiny!jt's perspective, at least, han+chewie is a nonromantic primary relationship that gets displaced by the han/leia primary romantic relationship. but it's still (from anything you see onscreen in the ot) primary *to chewie* even after it becomes secondary to han. that kind of nonreciprocal primary relationship, tagging around after someone who would let me express that kind of devotion and not find it creepy even after they inevitably found a "real", romantic relationship that would be more important to them than me, was the best endgame i could imagine for myself, and frankly i felt like it was way too much to hope for within my own species. i may have spent rather a while wishing i was a dog or something, so that it would be acceptable and appropriate for me to want the most important relationship in my life to be nonromantic. tiny!jt was a *mess*. this was way before i got into fandom, so i didn't really work through it at all or write it down anywhere, either.

uh. that got long. continued under the next question.

3. which character are you actually most like? -- so anyway. yeah. to continue. then i found my way into legends (then still the eu but yanno) and the x-wing books. and then there was wes. ^_^ it would be several more years before i even figured out i *had* ptsd, but here was somebody who had ptsd that presented almost exactly like mine but was also stable and functional and not-depressed and in fact actually cheerful. not to mention he was *also* hot and male and most importantly human, but still showed the kind of undemanding loyalty i was aiming towards, and had it accepted.

(which last is partly because wedge is an oblivious noodle, but still. ^_^ honestly that's probably something to analyze when i'm not one-finger typing on my phone: how much of that kind of relationship being a goal for me is just me being wired kind of subby, and how much is the abuse thing where asking for any kind of emotional reciprocation is Wrong and Too Much. :P)

uh. i had a point here somewhere. um. so i wanted to grow up to be wes, but i didn't think that was an attainable goal. i felt sort of more like wedge with the duty and guilt and everything, but wedge is also way more of a leader than i am, so that's a thing. honestly there was a point there where i felt most like cheriss, just kind of... trying to grow up and dealing with a whole bunch of life shit and intermittently wanting to die a lot. ;P

and now apparently i *am* growing up to be wes and i'm still not sure what to do with that, besides writing a lot of fanfic (which is what i am doing). and trying to figure out the whole subby brain thing. and the executive dysfunction thing. and the not wanting leadership positions thing. and still working on the ptsd thing. and the self-esteem thing. there's a lot.

i'm less wedge, though. which is good. less catholic guilt is always nice.

4. what headcanon will you defend to the death? -- er. i'm not really sure i have any of those. as opposed to just canon things i will make sure people remember and acknowledge. maybe the hoth cuddle pile? you will never convince me the rogues on hoth did not sleep in a giant cuddle pile.

5. what planet would you most like to visit? -- i frankly don't know enough about star wars planets to give a shit.

6. what planet would you most like to live on? -- ditto. not taanab, for sure. mini rancors (and possibly 46-hour days if you don't just disdain that as illogical made-up numbers they threw into the planet guide for variety's sake... ;P I have opinions)

7. who do you hope you never meet? -- of the characters? pretty much any of the bad guys, but my first thought is vader.

8. what is one thing you would change about any movie, show, book, etc? -- ahahahahaaaaaaa. just one? i can't pick. can i say fix all the things about tlj that made me go "okay never watching that"? because there were at least four or five just among the spoilers that i heard. like if it had to be just one i'd make it so poe doesn't disregard chain of command, because that's the one that's making it so i can't rewatch tfa *either*, but from everything i hear, that movie was a hot mess. (alternatively, can i just change the fandom so that people stop saying "if you don't love tlj unquestioningly you're a reddit douchebro!"? because i don't want to unfollow roguepod on twitter but unless i block literally everyone *they* follow there's no way for me to keep that particular Hot Take off my dash and it's consistently re-infuriating me. :P)

uh. i have feelings, apparently. ;P

9. have you ever made fanart or fanfic? do you make edits or any other fan content? -- so much fanfic. so much. i counted last night and just the fics i haven't published yet add up to somewhere around 80k words.

10. do you think the jedi were right or wrong? -- i think the jedi were self-important douchenozzles with a habit of being wrong whenever the plot demanded it. is this a reference to something specific they were right or wrong about? i don't think they have the one true view of the force, and i think they're obnoxious about thinking they do, much like many other religions, so there's that.

11. who is the most underrated character? -- new canon, finn. or rose, possibly, not that i've seen her, because see above re hot mess. old canon, hobbie.

12. do you care who rey’s parents are? -- honestly, i'm at the point in dealing with an open canon where i cannot give fuck about any of the unanswered questions, the upcoming releases, or anything that might happen in the future at all. i haven't even read thrawn alliances. i am Over It, and that is about 99% the fault of the people who keep calling me a reddit douchebro by association. i probably won't see epIX unless kat or sophia tells me i absolutely have to. i'm a legends-only fan at this point. i didn't want to be, i like getting excited about new things, but every time i try it, people are douchewaffles and it's depressing. :P

13. if you could resurrect one dead character, or prevent them from dying, who would it be? -- new canon, hobbie. old canon, there are so damn many options, but probably mara or pellaeon.

14. what is your favorite alien species? -- i'm not sure i actually have an opinion. i have lots of favorite alien characters but like... idek. star wars has a bunch of really well designed alien species and they're all cool.

15. who would you like to bang? -- honestly i don't really care about banging any of the characters. shipping them is more fun. although i would let princess general leia step on me, whether in a sexy way or not.

16. which movie/episode have you watched the most? -- probably anh. the falcon's flying sfx aren't as good as in esb, but if you watch esb without rotj it's just a downer, and i don't really enjoy rotj. like it just doesn't click with me.

17. what is your favorite line? -- uh. from the movies, or from all the star war? uh. either way that's a hell of a question. the one i quote the most from the movies is definitely "we're all fine here, how are you?", but that's more just... versatile. from the books, my favorite is obviously one of allston's, but i'm not sure i could *pick*.

18. what is your favorite star wars book or comic? -- starfighters of adumar. because it is the best one. objectively. ^_^

19. what’s your opinion on legends/expanded universe? -- i'm extremely glad it isn't canon anymore (see also my issues with open canons, but also a significant amount of it was just trash) and extremely glad it's still around.

20. what do you hope will happen in future movies? -- i have no hope. hope is dead. i am, as previously mentioned, Over It. (let oscar isaac kiss john boyega onscreen)

21. if you could switch any character’s gender, who would it be and why? -- in canon? no. there's no point in turning a lady character into a dude, and neither the creators nor the fans are capable of handling anyone who's currently a dude being written as a lady or nb type, even if it was retroactive and they'd always been written that way. just no. it would go Badly. :P

that said. in fanfic? and i am so not capable of writing this yet but i want to. in like five years when we're all living in caves scratching our fanfics on bone. i want to see a cis afab wes janson who just hasn't internalized any of those lessons about not taking up space. who's still brash and loud and enthusiastic and flirtatious and just... female. who doesn't feel any need to explain that she doesn't (or does) want kids, or acknowledge anybody else's opinion about how she dresses or who she fucks. who's smart and badass and competent and out to have fun. and like... *pulls hair* i mean you know the trope. a sexy lady character who knows she's sexy will pretty much always at least consider sleeping her way to the top or whatever. (tim zahn, seriously, stop using that trope. it's not edgy.) i want to see lady!wes dressing up all fancy because it's fun and she enjoys having people admire her body, and like just... not even considering ever having sex for any other reason than "i am attracted to that person, i wonder if they'd like to bang". like it's hard to demonstrate a negative but you know if you read a story like that, where it wasn't called out but just there, your brain would go all fidgety and "what the fuck something is not normal here". or at least mine would. but you know? :S apparently i have a lot of feelings about this too. like trying to portray a lady who's that confident and... and undamaged by misogyny, would be a hell of a thing.

22. favorite droid? -- bb-8. the cutest smol. target has a kit to turn a pumpkin into a bb-8 and i swear i'm thinking about getting a funkin to do that to. even though i already have a bb-8 penny bank and a bb-8 lanyard in storage.

23. what’s your favorite star wars musical piece or theme? -- i'm not great at identifying pieces of music so i'm just gonna go with the opening crawl music.

24. how do you pronounce twi’lek? -- i don't. ^_^ more specifically, i do kind of pronounce it in my head when i read, but it's sort of... neither twee-lek nor twye-lek, but something sort of in between that isn't quite a schwa and might involve an umlaut. Sort of Twülek, if you said it with an Austrian accent. That probably doesn't help at all. XD

25. which character do you have a love/hate relationship with? -- This keeps being a question. I'm honestly not sure I *do* love-hate relationships. I'm like Tinkerbell, I only have room for one emotion at a time. ^_^ Especially with fictional characters, I either love them or hate them. (Unless they're completely meh and I just forget about them, that happens sometimes.)

[catpella]

Tagged by  @pyrrhesia​

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself

last 1. drink - iced chai 2. phone call - my doctor’s office 3. text message - to a friend asking when she’s coming over to watch Aggretsuko 4. song you listened to - Futatabi/Reprise, Spirited Away 5. time you cried - earlier today

ever 6. dated someone twice - yes I have (we’re still dating) 7. kissed someone and regretted it - yes (it was a few years ago) 8. been cheated on - yes (it was a decade ago) 9. lost someone special - yes  10. been depressed - yes, including today 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yep

fave colours 12. midnight blue 13. silver 14. teal

in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - absolutely! mostly from the Ships game, a few from fandoms. some great new friends 16. fallen out of love - no but i’ve done the opposite 17. laughed until you cried - this happens a lot  18. found out someone was talking about you - which way does this mean, because there’s the “talking bad shit behind your back” and the “people talk about you like you’re awesome”. either way both have happened to me.  19. met someone who changed you - discovered parrhesia​ and i are drift-compatible 20. found out who your true friends are - you know this phrase “true friends” has always bothered me. but I have had changes in who is just acquaintances and light friends and who turns out to be ride-or-die for me, so, I guess so 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list -  hmm - only use my FB for convention group matters and my FB friends list I think only contains convention people and I’ve kissed some of them so, yeah i guess so

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - see above about them being people I’ve met/know from Mysterium, so like, all of them? 23. do you have any pets - one! bailey the cat 24. do you want to change your name - I have already done this legally! it cost like $300 and was worth it! 25. what did you do for your last birthday - cake was brought to me! hung with friends! ships game and gay flirting IC! 26. what time did you wake up today - like at 11:40am and i hated it. I was briefly awakened at 8am for drains drainage.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - probably talking to people on discord! 28. what is something you can’t wait for - short term: the drains to be out. medium-term: surgery recovery to be over.  30. what are you listening to right now - a music box album of Bee Gees music 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - fucking surgery recovery 33. most visited website - I really don’t want it to be Reddit or Tumblr but odds are it might be one of those. 34. hair colour - it varies, it’s like a light brown normally but I also dye it a lot 35. long or short hair - it’s shaved right now down to a 1/4″ so very short.  36. do you have a crush on someone - it is a known fact that i am often in the state of “i am ambiguous if i have a romantic or a friend crush” (so, crush or squish), and that that state can vary in intensity. right now i have two crushes of the absolutely-sure-it’s-a-crush kind, and both are of strong intensity. 37. what do you like about yourself - i think i’m real good at connecting with other people and being an emotional support for them because i’m such a strong Feelings type, maybe i’m not your best for logical advice but i’m gonna be great for you if you wanna have emotional talk 38. want any piercings? - thinking about the ears but I’m a coward 39. blood type - AB+ 40. nicknames - Cat, Cap, Cappy 41. relationship status - in a co-habiting long-term relationship, am in a state where i am open to additional relationships 42. zodiac - Aquarius Sun ( Capricorn Moon, Pisces Rising if you wanna get complicated) 43. pronouns - they/them or he/him. he/him are the ones i use at work and legally. 44. fave tv shows - Star Treks! Battlestar Galactica (1978 only). Sailor Moon (original or Crystal). 45. tattoos - none but I think about it someday 46. right or left handed - right 47. ever had surgery - a hysto and top surgery, which was last week so i’m still recovering from the latter 48. piercings - none yet because I’m a coward 49. sport - I don’t play any now but I used to do synchronized swimming. i follow the Rochester Americans in AHL hockey because they’re local, cheap to see, and hockey has great fights 50. vacation - I love to go to the beach. so please take me to a coastal city! I also unironically love going to Disney but am so over going with people who aren’t legitimately excited to go. I really wanna fucking leave the country at some point. so ideal vacation would be a coastal city in another country? 51. trainers - uh like...shoes? i have a pair of sneakers and multiple pairs of those vibram toe shoes cause they’re super comfy.

more general 52. eating - sweet things. french fries. love french fries

53. drinking - also super sweet things

54. i’m about to watch - nothing atm, but probably more Sailor Moon Crystal later this week 55. waiting for - I feel like 28 answered this? “drains to come out” and “surgery recovery” mostly. 56. want - finally fucking having a crush on someone who is interested back. (if i can’t have that, i really want to do the thing where you’re having a nice quiet intimate voice-chat with close friend at after-midnight in a dark room.) (i guess i just want reciprocated-intimacy) 57. get married - in the case it’s useful as a legal construct then yes 58. career - i kinda like this IT support gig. a writer would be a great career but then i’d have to learn to carry through with something so i’d need focus. if we had UBI and i could meet all my needs otherwise i’d love to go back to being in a coffee shop.

which is better 59. hugs or kisses - hugs! i find kissing a little weird but if the person i like wants to do it i will do it 60. lips or eyes - eyes for sure 61. shorter or taller - taller! 62. older or younger - either? i’m open to a flexible age range but all my recent dates have been younger than me... 63. nice arms or stomach - arms are a turn-on, but i don’t find stomachs a turn-off, they can be great to pillow on 64. hookup or relationship - i want to have both of these things in my life. so, which i want always depends on the specific person i’m thinking about 65. troublemaker or hesitant - i usually go after the hesitant types, so i’d love to date the troublemaker kind for once! but i’m such a sucker for the shy hesitance

have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - yes 67. drank hard liquor - yes 68. lost glasses - no 69. turned someone down - yes 70. sex on first date - yes (well, we’d been dating online for awhile but had sex the first time we met IRL) 71. broken someone’s heart - yes 72. had your heart broken - yes (multiple times) 73. been arrested - no 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - all. the. fucking. time. this is a thing i do a lot. see above about my difficulty distinguishing between squishes and crushes. 

do you believe in 76. yourself - not really, which is tough. 77. miracles -  I’ve had enough weird life coincidences that I’ll say sure 78. love at first sight - i believe in meeting someone and knowing that they’re going to play a significant and meaningful role in your life, and then having that feeling pan out as a reality. sometimes it’s been meeting someone who i wind up dating (so love), once it was meeting a random stranger who helped me on a train who turned out to be my mentor in college for the next year. sometimes i just click with someone and go “i know you’ll be my best friend”. so i’d generalize this to “i believe in recognizing a significance” 79. santa claus - no 80. kiss on a first date -  yes 81. angels - they might exist?

other 82. best friend’s name - man i can’t have just 1 best driftmate! don’t ask this :( 83. eye colour - Green 84. fave movie - Pacific Rim 85. fave actor - Idris Elba

am tagging: anyone who wants to, as idk how many of you have patience for all of these  questions! but it’s fun!

[askyaboyrichie-blog]

richie?

It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said. In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome. That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

[inopinion]

The shrinking tag game...

a really long ass (but fun!) tag

rules: answer these 85 42 questions and tag 20 people

Tagged by @mareshmallow... I lol’d so hard. When I first saw this one it was like 81 questions - 5 missing... now it’s down to 42. Shrinking Questions: GO!

what was your last —

1. drink: Coffee... alcoholic: Tawny Port

2. phone call: Work: SW ENG Process coordinator, Personal: Husband

3. text message: Sending pics to my sister of my kid with pizza sauce between his eyes.

4. song you listened to: Georgia by Vance Joy?? (not great with artists)

5. time you cried: a few weeks ago

6. dated someone twice: i mean... the husband... technically, we split up for a bit in there.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: 2006... def. 2006

8. been cheated on: not to my knowledge

9. lost someone special: There are friends that have drifted away and I can’t seem to get them back into my life on the regular. :( but no, not someone specifically special to me in a familial/friend nor permanent way. *knocks on wood*

10. been depressed: uh, yeah... 2006, 2009-2010 and milder 2013-2014; and basically every winter where the sun doesn’t come out.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: 2014 - Detroit Auto Show... I refuse to call it a mistake.

fave colours —

12, 13, 14 + 1 extra.... yep, I now think about everything in terms of ink.

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: not really... nope.

16. fallen out of love: no, still hanging in there

17. laughed until you cried: yep

18. found out someone was talking about you: no, can’t say I have.

19. met someone who changed you: Sure, amazing people are everywhere.

20. found out who your friends are: Nope, they are exactly as I expected.

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: ditched facebook... but technically, my husband was my friend... so yeah.

general —

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: no facebook to count.

23. do you have any pets: I get 4 pet slots, one is sadly empty... but I have one cat, one dog, one husband.

24. do you want to change your name: Naw, I counted up accounts and shit once before and decided against it, now I have ever more accounts and shit tied to my name. 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Movie, museum, books, food - toddler free time!!

26. what time did you wake up today: Oh boy, the husband forgot to turn the monitor back on after the nightmare last night so we slept until 8:30... toddler was a bit miffed when we realized what happened.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for: Visiting with my aunt, Seeing my dad a retired man, and my son wearing pull-ups... oh and Infinity War, and Ant Man, and tons of other movies. Excited about Red Queen, and about going through the Legend Series. I’m super excited about reading this year.

30. what are you listening to right now: spotify - but it’s about to go off so I can do some writing.

31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: weirdly specific, but yes, regularly.

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: My son has stopped saying please - so everything is like an order. My husband is busy with Robotics so my kid is wearing me thin.

33. most visited website: Reddit

34. hair colour: Light blown

35. long or short hair: long at the moment, too lazy to cut

36. do you have a crush on someone: nope

37. what do you like about yourself: resilience - stress can’t touch me (most of the time)

38. want any piercings: nope

39. blood type: B-

40. nicknames: none

41. relationship status: married

42. sign: I gravitate towards owls...

I’m rushing to get to the writing, but if anyone wants to answer these, consider yourself tagged!

[maryjanewaston]

tagged by: @timdrakee !

Rules: write 92 truths about yourself

Last…

[1] Drink: water

[2] Phone call: my mom

[3] Text message: sent: makayla has to tell me something about school so i’m walking her to class received: Here

[4] Song you listened to: some song my mom was playing in the car, idk the name of it 

[5] Time you cried: yesterday bc my dad forgot to buy me soup and i’m really sick ftihguidrojsfldk

Have you ever…

[6] Dated someone: nah

[7] Been cheated on: no

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: no

[9] Lost someone special: umm kind of

[10] Been depressed: ya

[11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: no but i’ve thrown up the next day rip

List 3 favorite colors…

[12] pink (pastel shades)

[13] light grey

[14] black

In the last year, have you…

[15] Made new friends: yes

[16] Fallen out of love: no

[17] Laughed until you cried: yes

[18] Found out someone was talking about you: i don’t remember 

[19] Met someone who changed you: nah

[20] Found out who your true friends are: uh idk

[21] Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

[22] How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: idek

[23] Do you have any pets: yes four! my babies! 

[24] Do you want to change your name: YES I HATE IT SM

[25] What did you do for your last birthday: went out for dinner with family and friends 

[26] What time did you wake up: like 9:58 AM

[27] What were you doing last night at midnight: sleeping! i am sick

[28] Name something you cannot wait for: uh summer 

[29] When was the last time you saw your mother: today

[30] What is one thing you wish you can change about your life: i want to be rich but like the kind of rich where ur parents are rich and u just inherit the $$ 

[31] What are listening to right now: nothing

[32] Have you ever talked to some name Tom: um no

[33] Something that is getting on your nerves: my paper for my english/film class

[34] Most visited website: twitter, here, and ao3 oh and reddit probably lmaooooo

[35] Elementary: i went to a tiny elementary until 8th grade (canada y’all) then my school combined w/ 3 others to form a ‘super school’ and i went there for a year

[36] College: i go to one part-time in my city rn, i plan to go out of town next year tho if i get in anywhere lol

[37] Hair color: red

[38] Long or short: medium i think

[39] Do you have a crush on someone: nah

[40] What do you like about yourself: um nothing

[41] Piercings: on my ears

[42] Blood type: lol idk

[43] Nickname: britt

[44] Relationship status: single

[45] Zodiac Sign: gemini

[46] Pronouns: she/her

[47] Favorite TV show: ummm the x files, shadowhunters, avatar: the last airbender, hannibal, and the spidey cartoons like spectacular and stuff hahahaha

[48] Tattoos: i want one but i’m too scared + idk where i’d put it

[49] Right or left handed: right

[50] Surgery: never really had one i mean i had like a mini one but it doesn’t really count

First…

[51] Piercing: ears when i was like 4

[52] Best friend: a girl called eugena and she moved away. i have noooo idea where she’s at rn 

[53] Sport: soccer. i was/am so bad at it

[54] Vacation: um i forget

[55] Pair of trainers: no clue

Right now…

[56] Eating: nothing (i can only eat soup rn anyway since i’m super sick h a h a h a)

[57] Drinking: water

[58] I’m about to: work on my paper :’(

[59] Listening to: nothing

[60] Waiting for: this sickness to go away

[61] Want: to be finished with his paper

[62] Get married: lbr i probably won’t ever

[63] Career: not a ‘career’ but i sell bus tickets and make minimum wage atm lol

Which is better…

[64] Hugs or kisses: hugs

[65] Lips or eyes: eyes

[66] Shorter or taller: taller

[67] Older or younger: older

[68] Nice arms or nice stomach: uh idk

[69] Sensitive or loud: sensitive

[70] Hook up or relationship: relationship

[71] Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 

Have you ever…

[72] Kissed a stranger: no

[73] Drank hard liquor: yeah 

[74] Lost glasses/ contact lenses: GOD ALL OF THE TIME

[75] Turned someone down: yes 

[76] Sex on first date: no

[77] Broken someone’s heart?: not that i am aware of? idk tho

[78] Had your own heart broken?: no

[79] Been arrested?: nope

[80] Cried when someone died?: yes

[81] Fallen for a friend?: no

Do you believe in…

[82] Yourself: no

[83] Miracles?: no

[84] Love at first sight: no

[85] Santa Claus: no

[86] Kissed on the first date: yeah

[87] Angels?: no

Other…

[88] Current best friends name: gabby

[89] Eye colour: dark brown

[90] Favourite movie: kill your darlings

[91] Favourite book: harry potter series 

[92] Current height: 5 feet and 6 inches 

tagging: @caleb-dume @selinakyless @jessaminelovelace @spideydamn

[pulverulents]

#29: in the highlands and the heartache

I feel like I say this way too often in these journal entries, but uh, it's been a while. Hi.

I just read through my last entry, and... woah. So that was rock bottom, huh? Scary. A lot of things have happened in the months since then. I'd like to think I'm in a better place now, but the truth is there's been so much that's happened that it's difficult to take stock.

Where should I start? It's been a long summer. I'm not staying in hall anymore, obviously, and I won't be anymore for the rest of my uni life. And living at home has been difficult. I've experienced such a rollercoaster of emotions over the last few months that I almost don't feel real anymore.

Let's start with something not as depressing. Believe it or not, there's been joy. Since phase 2 started, I've been going out with friends regularly. I used to be terrified that i would leave hall and not talk to any of my hall friends anymore, and I'm so so so glad that time has proven me wrong. And there’s the new Taylor Swift album folklore, which is quickly becoming my favourite album of hers, and which, despite the complete and utter abruptness / surprise / shock, has come at literally no better timing. And there's my sister, who has been such a blessing lately. She's an asshole and an idiot, but I love her a lot and have laughed so much with her despite everything else that has been happening. And it's been healing. All this joy, laughter, and love. Slowly but surely, I’m learning how to let myself heal.

But there's also been sadness. Discovering sad songs, watching sad musicals, the passing of Grant Imahara, who has been one of my childhood role models. But above all, the growing sense that I've been robbed of my childhood. I went to a friend's house recently, and was completely blown away by how nice their parents were. We all ate dinner together, and we were all actually talking. In fact, we were talking so much that nobody was paying attention to the movie that we spent 20 minutes picking out to watch while we ate. It was so incredible and wonderful and the entire room was just glowing and throbbing with joy and love and then I remembered that waiting for me at home was a lifetime of enforced silence during mealtimes when the only time anyone spoke it was my mother scolding us or arguing with my dad or complaining about some minor offence that one of us had committed earlier that day. And on the journey home, as I felt the dread grow and grow, I couldn’t stop thinking that this was just another thing to add on to the already unhealthy amount that I relate to Evan Hansen. I read somewhere on reddit that I need to let myself grieve the loss of my childhood and the loss of proper loving parents in order to truly move on and heal and love myself, but it's difficult to mourn something that technically hasn't ended yet and likely won't end anytime soon.

There's been anger. And lots of it. At my parents, at society, at myself, at God. It's no secret that I have a very difficult relationship with my parents to say the least, and it's been increasingly difficult to not fight back, even though I know that fighting back never ends well. In the midst of an argument discussion about politics, my mother recently declared to me in the car that she was a racist, and I've never experienced that kind of rage before. I was speechless. And throughout the remainder of that drive, all I could do was sit there and listen to her yell at me and my sister as the anger just got heavier and heavier inside my chest with no outlet to escape. And of the countless times my mother has made me angry, I've never felt it in that way before, and I still don’t really know why. I've always disliked politics and so I've never really bothered to form any opinions on it every time election season rolls around. But with what’s been happening in the world and in Singapore lately, I've suddenly become extremely uncomfortable remaining apolitical and "neutral". I recently told a friend that as much as I don’t like politics, I refuse to use my privilege as an excuse to be apathetic about it, and I'll stand by that statement.

But honestly speaking, anger and anguish and anxiety have all been no stranger to me in the 20 years that i've had the misfortune of being alive. And there are days when I'm still in denial that these emotions are real and valid and won't be magically vanishing anytime soon. I could say more, but most days I’m just tired of trying to be my own therapist. Other days I’m just mad that after so long of repeating the same advice to myself, I keep falling back into the same mindsets and the same cycles of self-loathing which makes me even angrier at myself and then the vicious cycle just goes on and on ad infinitum. I used to direct some of that towards God and I still do sometimes, but more often than not it just results in more guilt and then my solution to that is to just not bring it to God at all, so.. I haven’t spoken to God in a while. Probably just one of my “running away” coping mechanisms.

As I’m typing this, I have just turned 21. (Well, not just, it’s technically been 23 minutes since it’s 23 minutes past midnight but eh same difference.) Amidst all of the people pestering me to celebrate and throw a party or something (mostly my parents), I can’t help but think of when I was 16 and had my birthday marred by yelling and screaming, and then at 17 I thought ‘maybe this time will be better’ (spoiler alert: it wasn’t). And ever since then, I’ve detested my own birthday. I guess it just taught me that my birthday wasn’t anything special, and just like literally every other day, I am equally likely to be a recipient of some sort of verbal or emotional abuse, and thus equally likely to have a depressive episode and / or panic attack at 11pm on the bathroom floor. 

But my hall friends came over 2 days ago just for a regular gathering, and they sprung a not-so-surprise surprise celebration on me even though I told them not to. But it was lovely, and even though they’ve only known me for like 2 years, I’ve rarely felt so loved and appreciated. The imposter syndrome in me won’t shut up about how it’s probably just a fluke that I somehow managed to convince them that I’m a better, smarter, more talented human being than I actually am, and that part of my brain wants to feel guilty that I’ve deceived them into thinking that, but I’ve been getting better in forcing that part of my brain to not feel that way most of the time. Which is nice, I guess. It’s an improvement, in any case.

So maybe this year will be different. Maybe it won’t. Maybe the rest of my adult life will be irreparably marred by yelling and screaming. And life has taught me that hope is foolish, but maybe I want to be foolish sometimes. It feels better than the alternative, that’s for sure. Maybe I’ll live through adulthood desperately wanting to be foolish, desperately holding onto whatever joy and laughter and love I can find and guarding it close to my heart as safely as I can. Maybe these memories will be as untouchable as the ones that seek to rip them out and tear them apart. And maybe all of this doesn’t make any sense at all. I don’t know. I used to think when I was 17 that all this childhood trauma has wisened me up, but now at 21, I now know that there are really a lot of things that I don’t know. 

In any case, the only thing I can do now is just... move forward, I guess? Probably a little ambitious, I know. I’ve been running away a lot as a way to deal with this godforsaken mess that is my life, but maybe it would be a good start to stop running and just.. wait the storm out. Maybe Aaron Burr said it best - 

“Life doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints / It takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway / We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes / And if there’s a reason I’m still alive when so many have died /

Then I'm willing to wait for it."

-jo

[rock-the-cat-spa]

@dark-side-of-pink-floyd tagged me, Thank you very much!! :D

-Last drink: Tea

-‎Last phone call: My mom

-Last text message: A friend

-Last song you listened to: Break away - Beach Boys

-Last time you cried: Out of happiness it was just a few hours ago, out of sadness it's been a few days

-Dated someone twice: Nope

-Kissed someone and regretted it?: Yes

-Been cheated on?: No

-Lost someone special? Yes

-Been depressed?: Absolutely

-Gotten drunk and thrown up?: Not really

-Fave colors: Blue, yellow, brown


In the last year have you…

-Made new friends?: I think so?

-Fallen out of love?: No

-Laughed until you cried?: A few hundred times

-Found out someone was talking about you?: Yes

-Met someone who changed you?: Yes

-Found out who your friends are?: Nope

-Kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Nope


General

-How many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: Pretty much all of them

-Do you have any pets?: I have two dogs named Snöret and Kakan(their names translates to "The Rope" and "The Cookie")

-Do you want to change your name?: Not anymore

-What did you do for your last birthday?: Uh I think I just ate cake and played a few records

-What time did you wake up today?: 07:35

-What were you doing at midnight last night?: Studying for a damn debate thing

-What is something you can’t wait for?: I'm going to see both Foo Fighters and Roger Waters this summer! (And maybe Iron Maiden) :D

-What are you listening to right now?: On a plain - Nirvana

-Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: I guess?

-Something that’s getting on your nerves?: People who think they are better than everyone and people who hate old stuff just because it's old

-Most visited website: Tumblr, Reddit, 9gag

-Hair color: Dark brown

-Long or short hair: It's right below my shoulders

-Do you have a crush on someone?: Yeah but I nobody I've met(them damn rockstars)

-What do you like about yourself?: I look kinda good, I'm pretty good at playing drums and I'm creative

-Want any piercings?: No

-Blood type: No clue

-Nicknames: I don't really have any but my friends sometimes call me me Farrah as a joke

-Relationship status: Single

-Zodiac: Sagittarius

-Pronouns: She/her

-Fave tv shows: Monty Python, Merlin, Supernatural, Sherlock, ATLA and uh...Mythbusters?

-Tattoos: None

-Right or left handed: Right

-Ever had surgery?: Kinda?

-Piercings?: None

-Sport: Frisbee

-Vacation: Just my yearly road trip down to France

More general

-Eating: Lasagna

-Drinking: Water

-I’m about to watch: Monty Python I guess

-Waiting for: The summer

-Want: A bass guitar!

-Get married: If I ever meet someone with good music taste then yeah, sure!

-Career: Archeologist and Historian(Ancient Rome), or something with music(Which I would prefer to be honest)

Which is better

-Hugs or kisses: Kisses

-Lips or eyes: Eyes

-Shorter or taller: Shorter

-Older or younger: Older

-Nice arms or stomach: Nice arms

-Hookup or relationship: Relationship

-Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant


Have you ever

-Kissed a stranger: No

-Drank hard liquor: Once or twice

-Lost glasses: Back in the days when I didn't have contacts it happened all the time

-Turned someone down: Yep

-Sex on first date: No

-Broken someones heart: I think so

-Had your heart broken: Yes

-Been arrested: Not really

-Cried when someone died: Yes

-Fallen for a friend: Yes

Do you believe in

-Yourself: Uh, no? Yes? I don't know really

-Miracles: Yes

-Love at first sight: Yeah maybe

-Santa Claus: Nah

-Kiss on a first date: Sure

-Angels: Yes

Other

-Best friend’s name: Thilde, Miranda, Filippa

-‎Eye color: It's green and hazel(I have pretty much the exact same eye color as Syd Barrett)

-Favorite movie: Inglorious basterds, Big Fish, Taxi Driver, The Godfather

-Fave actor: Robert De Niro, James stewart, Ewan McGregor