#relatab

[anonyippeereblogs]

that’s interesting moopster

have you tried this yet?

i swear i’d never sin again,

but my patience’s running thin

[poems-of-the-anentomologist]

I am empty of thought

Lacking in soul

My brain is not busy

It has nothing left

Ideas are puddles

That evaporate

My roots go deep

But cannot take

The sun blisters all

But the sun is me

Stealing

From empty bowls

I can't lose my purpose

When purpose lost me

Before I was born

Before I first thought

Give me a reason

Oh all seeing eye

To speak such words –

Such meaningless words

Thrown into the void

With empty joy

Filling my heart

Filling my mind

My meaningless mind

wow

[magicat1337]

I can’t remember where I put my cell phone, but I CAN remember every single lyric of Loco by Coal Chamber

[davepetea]

i see u rebloggin those posts :p

t33h33 B33€

[sharkwing]

djude i hate drinkinv bro i hate going to a bar and having a fun goofy time with ur friends vut you do smth wrong once and then ur like “oh that happened bc im drinking. that s so irresponsible of me” and u keep thinking avt it and it gets worse and worse the harder u try to continue having fun and ur gotdang psyche falls apart bc ur too makny drinks in to remember ur coping mechanisms and then by the time u get home it’s like. I can no longer envision a future where someone loves me romantically

[abstract-moth]

when I’m writing and I move past the drafting phase to the revising phase

[brightlotusmoon]

If I was one of the omegaverse omegas I would just get a hysterectomy. Who has time to deal with all that shit just spay my ass

[justaholeinmysoul]

Nothing is more wrong that disliking an artist a lot but absolutely ascending to another dimension with their art STOP LIKING THAT BRAIN!

[hajdara]

[maybe-im-dark]

The X-Men as an Allegory for People with Disabilities: Why Logan (Wolverine) Represents Our Struggle

Mutants in the X-Men universe have long been recognized as an allegory for various marginalized groups. Often, people discuss them as symbols for race, gender identity, or sexuality, and while these are all valid and essential interpretations, there’s another group that rarely gets the same attention: people with disabilities. At their core, the X-Men represent those who society deems "different," and their struggles mirror the everyday realities of disabled people who face prejudice, violence, and the overwhelming sense that they don’t fit in.

In this post, I want to dive into why Logan (Wolverine)—arguably the most beloved X-Men character—is such a poignant representation of this struggle. Logan’s experiences aren’t just about mutant oppression; they reflect the same violence, exclusion, and dehumanization that so many people with disabilities have endured throughout history. His pain resonates on a deeply personal level because he embodies the way disability can isolate, alienate, and force individuals to question their humanity.

Logan: Beaten Down, Like So Many Others

Logan’s story is filled with unimaginable suffering, much of it inflicted because of his mutation. From being experimented on in the Weapon X program to living through countless wars and battles, Logan has been beaten down—physically and mentally—time and time again. He’s been tortured, treated like an animal, and used as a tool by people who see his mutation as nothing more than a resource to exploit. This is painfully similar to the way people with disabilities have been treated throughout history.

From early eugenics movements to the horrific medical experiments performed on disabled individuals, society has frequently viewed people with disabilities as "less than human," as subjects for abuse or as problems to be solved. Logan’s life, constantly fleeing, hiding, and surviving these abuses, reflects the lived reality of countless disabled people who have been denied their basic humanity.

The Alienation of Feeling Like an Animal

One of the most striking aspects of Logan’s character is how he struggles with feeling like he doesn’t belong. His mutation, which gives him heightened senses, superhuman strength, and animal-like reflexes, also makes him feel less than human. His feral rage, his sharpened claws, and his ability to endure pain make him question whether he’s more beast than man. This deep feeling of alienation is something many people with disabilities understand all too well.

Disabled people are often made to feel like outsiders, whether through physical inaccessibility, social exclusion, or the ways society "others" their existence. Logan’s sense of not belonging, of feeling out of place in the world and within his own skin, mirrors the internal struggles that people with disabilities often face. His story isn’t just one of physical power—it’s about the mental toll of constantly being made to feel like you’re different, and not in a way that’s celebrated, but in a way that isolates.

Physical Power vs. Internal Pain

While Logan is incredibly strong and seemingly indestructible, his true power isn’t his healing factor or his claws—it’s his ability to keep going despite the weight of his internal pain. This is one of the reasons so many people relate to him. People with disabilities are often portrayed in media as weak or fragile, but in reality, they possess immense strength to survive in a world that isn’t built for them. Logan, too, represents this paradox: physically invincible but emotionally scarred.

In the same way that disabled people have to fight for basic rights, recognition, and acceptance, Logan fights for a place in the world. His physical toughness often hides his internal vulnerability, but those who look closely can see the emotional scars he carries—the loss, the trauma, the battles that never seem to end. These scars make him relatable to anyone who’s been made to feel different or "less than" by society.

The Fight for Recognition

Logan, like all mutants, is constantly fighting for recognition—fighting for the right to exist, to be treated as more than a weapon or a threat. People with disabilities face this same struggle. Whether it’s fighting for accessibility, equal opportunities, or even the right to be seen as full people rather than their disabilities, the fight for recognition is ongoing. Logan’s story reminds us that the battle for acceptance is exhausting but necessary, that fighting for one’s humanity is a lifelong journey.

Conclusion: Logan as an Icon of Resilience

What makes Logan’s story so powerful is that, despite all the violence, abuse, and isolation, he never gives up. He’s survived things no one should have to endure, and though he’s scarred, broken, and often cynical, he continues to protect those he cares about. He becomes a mentor to younger mutants, helping them navigate a world that sees them as dangerous or inferior. In this way, Logan’s journey is one of resilience—a testament to the strength it takes to survive in a world that doesn’t always see you as fully human.

People with disabilities can see themselves in Logan because his story is one of constant struggle, of surviving in a world that wasn’t made for him, and of pushing forward despite the pain. He’s not just a superhero with claws and a healing factor—he’s a symbol of the fight for dignity and recognition that so many of us face every day.

Logan’s story shows us that even when the world beats you down, when society tries to strip you of your humanity, there’s power in resilience. There’s strength in continuing to fight for your place in the world. That’s why people with disabilities—myself included—find a part of ourselves in Logan.

[showerthoughtsofagoldengoose]

hot take but I think Jeffery was one of the most interesting characters in class of 09. For some reason he’s actually my favorite even tho the other ones are cool too- the girls not the boys lol. Despite the fact that he’s my fave- I do not defend Jeffery or his actions. He’s a problematic fave. (So is anyone in this game tho, even the girls lol) so here’s some reasons why he’s interesting to me

-hidden depths

he initially seems cute and like a normal, awkward teen, but the major plot decisions he makes include: shooting up a school, taking pictures of a half naked girl without her consent, joining multiple hate groups because he just wants to feel included and is willing to throw what little morals he has to do so, sending creepy messages to a girl (the end of route ones you get in the first game are heavily implied to be him) among other things. In the messages we also see how strong his bitterness towards everyone and everything is, as well as references to his violent urges.

While it could be argued he is bitter due to his environment- no support system, everyone hates or ignores him and he is treated like pariah at best and a monster at worst (see his year book messages) it also is evident that he inherently has disturbing urges latent within him. No normal person would go as far as he does. Sure, it’s an exaggerated comedy game, but the comedy comes from the people in it being terrible. the thing is, people can get past disturbing urges and not let these urges define or control them. What they need is support, people to talk to and get help from. Jeffery does not have this, and so he gets worse and worse. His only form of escapism is manga/anime that furthers his depravity.

-He has actual thematic importance.

In the video message at the end of the first game, he talks about how Nicole is privileged by getting attention from men, because at least she’s getting attention that isn’t bullying, and on top of this she gets praise, and lots of really really good attention yet ditches it all by being a dick to everyone. However, Jeffery is very ignorant of the fact that she is still getting abused just in a different way from how he is, and she is lonely as well (see her shock when Emily gives her positive attention in re-up as an example).

The game somewhat corroborates his point about pretty girls having it good when in the intro, Nicole states that she started to become more popular when she got pretty and that’s why she felt so settled into that school she had to move out of when her dad killed himself.

However, it also stresses how shitty it is to be a pretty girl as well. What with the constant sexual harassment the female characters experience from males. This is the part Jeffery can’t seem to grasp, as he almost pins the blame on Nicole for leading these guys on, as if she can somehow magically make them fuck off or something. He honestly doesn’t even give it any thought. To him that kind of attention is most likely still positive. Nobody even looks at him like “that.”

-Character development. Initially he likes Nicole and wants to be her friend. So desperate for attention (especially female) he sticks around her even when she is cruel and bullies him. But we see his love for her become hatred due to how she is. She’s a terrible person but he doesn’t really seem to be able to grasp why when he’s so blinded by this misogynistic idea that women have it better than him. He doesn’t see that her terribleness is a mix of nature and nurture, much like his own and Nicole definitely recognizes that Jeffery is both inherently awful and a product of his environment but hates him too much to want to help him.

in fact it’s trying to help him or make him happy that ends up inadvertently leading to her suicide because that just isn’t the person Nicole is.

note the emphasis I put on Jeffery’s relationship to Nicole. These two characters are FOILS to eachother, which is what makes them and their relationship so compelling to me.

-relatability

though he is not meant to be liked or sympathized with, part of Jeffery’s appeal to me as a character is being relatable. He is a nerd stereotype turned up to 11 and I happen to check most of the boxes for that stereotype lol. While I was never bullied (shockingly enough) I know what it’s like to be the weird kid, to be ignored and to be so socially clueless that you do things that get you marked as an outcast without realizing what you’re even doing wrong.

I also know what it’s like to be kind of creepy and off putting. To say too much too soon to someone you barely know at all because you trust them, they’re being nice to you and you’re lonely and you think it’s weird they’re being nice but you want it so badly for someone to give you this positive attention. And you’ll do anything to take it, deal with anything. You stop even thinking straight.

it’s like you deserve to be lonely almost. The people around you seem to corroborate it with how they talk about you, (or how little they do so) and you do it to yourself! You don’t even realize it might be because of psychosis or something that you keep hurting yourself by saying stupid shit and doing stupid things but a part of you knows it. But you just say you’re being edgy and brush it off.

self destruction comes from a lot of factors- losing control over your life, how you were raised, habits you developed, desire for something that causes you to act unreasonably, hedonism and so on.

I’m losing my train of thought it is midnight help me.

[liongrl321]

Tbh i can understand why Elphie's angry. lmao.

Squealy little brat. Takes a dead woman’s shoes — must have been raised in a barn!

[blues-valentine]

this might be mean but i am glad nini was off the show and a lot of characters were taken off regular status because the show needed fresh story lines after season 2

This is going to be a long answer and probably a controversial one too but I feel now that the show is over I can finally say it. I really agree. And this is in no way shade to the actors but how things were constructed in the show. I feel like it helped the show to just focus on other dynamics and characters. If you take the S1 nostalgia aspect, Season 3 and Season 4 were such a massive improvements after Season 2, which is undeniably their weakest season of all.

I liked Nini, but as a character I feel like she wasn’t giving “main character energy”. It didn’t help either that most of her arcs were individual or about Ricky or Miss Jenn. So when you took her out, she wasn’t really missed in terms of the dynamics with other characters because those improved so much after she left. On Season 3 and Season 4 the group dynamics finally felt like a family and solid friendship instead of separated groups with separated plot lines.

Also, character arc wise, I feel like Nini’s arc ended on Season 2. Her arc has always been about spreading her wings outside of East High and finding what makes her happy. She got that at the end of Season 2 so it feels like it came to a natural conclusion. Nini’s send off on Season 3 was beautiful and a nice tribute to her character and her relationships. Even now, the small details that keep Nini’s character alive are sweet. I like Olivia but Nini as a character just wasn’t memorable enough for me to care. There's not "void" to me because the show has so many great actors and vocalists that were able to shine in Nini’s absence and I am glad. I would have hated if they Rachel Berry-ed her.

A character that benefited the most from Nini’s departure was Kourtney, who was perpetually stuck in the “black best friend” stereotype. Season 3 was such an improvement because Kourt was given an individual arc that wasn’t about Nini and her issues. Plus, Gina and Kourtney’s friendship felt so much more natural and reciprocated as well and her interactions with the whole group, especially with Carlos.

Gina always felt like the hidden female main character to me because her character had so many emotional layers. I’ve always said Sofia is the best actress the show has and is constantly rising the bar in scenes with her other co-stars. Anyone that's not giving her the flowers she deserves for this last season are just crazy.

Now, one of the biggest issues with Season 2 was adding new characters while also trying to handle plot lines for the established characters. It was messy. None of the plot lines were resolved and it was too crowded with most of the new characters staying as one dimensional and stereotypical. The season was dragged out and boring. The best choice this show made was to cut down on some of them for Season 3. I like Big Red but I don't think he was neccesary as a regular at camp. I am glad he wasn't there because it gave Ashlyn space to explore herself and get one of the best character arcs on this show. Same goes for Ricky. He needed new friendships and Jet was a great one to have. I liked Big Red's cameo and it was well placed. Same goes for Seb, I like him but I am glad Carlos was able to have a solo storyline about his own insecurities and also develop stronger dynamics with the group. His friendship with Ricky was great. Seb’s cameo was well placed.

Maddox and Jet were the best additions this show has ever made. And I don't take anyone seriously if they think otherwise. After season 2, the show needed changes. A new enviroment and characters that added value. Maddox and Jet gave us a new dynamic and instantly felt like a part of the group because they weren’t there to just exist temporarily, they pushed the story lines of the existing characters forward. The show needed a canon sapphic character and Maddox was perfect and relatable. Her arc with Ash goes down as one of the best on this show. Jet was great and Adrian's vocals are show stopping. Not only did the siblings added a much needed representation but were very easy to love. Even Val, in her minimal screen time, added actual value to the story lines.

And now goes to EJ, he was not going to be a regular part of Season 4 since he isn’t in East High anymore. It was the natural progression of his character. His appearance this season felt very well placed with where his character was. It would have been very weird to find an excuse to keep him at the school just for the sake of keeping him as a regular. Glad they didn’t do it.

So yes, I think a lot of the changes were necessary and made this show better.

[yeawhtever]

started reading radio silence a couple days ago and how is every fucking character written by alice oseman so relatabe

[arlequinelunaire]

The Two Chiros (Doctor Who/A Little Vice crossover)

A/N: Crossover between A Little Vice and my Doctor Who fan-season A Deal with Time, and a loose follow-up to my earlier crossover. Note that this takes place quite late into A Little Vice's story.

_ _ _

Not for the first time, I sat with a lump in my throat outside the Guidance Counselor's office. But for the first time, I was seeing someone completely different than Mr. Noir, someone who Inessa had even vouched to me for. I was flattered, too flattered really, that she'd go out of her way to recommend the new Counselor to the likes of me. But hers was a somewhat guarded recommendation, so I was still trembling more than I should have.

"Miss Dunne, the Doctor will see you now," came the soft yet scratchy voice of Miss Mortlake. My face scrunched up being called by that prefix, but I only got as far as opening my mouth to correct her before I stopped. I was no Miss, yet the thought of being addressed as Mr. instead gave no comfort either. Best to chalk it up to a simple mistake, Mortlake and I had barely interacted after all.

Lavinia Mortlake, I think I full name was, had... some connection to Counselor Naotake? She'd showed up the same time the new Counselor had, with her having gotten a job on staff through them. I guess maybe she was the Avaritia to Naotake's Noir. In the general sense of course, unless there really was something supernatural going with them, which really wouldn't surprise me by now. She had what could be called an 'overachiever' or 'smartest in class' look to her, with her glasses, dark braids, and freckles. Made me think back how much I'd been slacking in my own studies.

I stepped back into that Counselor's office once again, and my eye immediately caught on something Mr. Noir certainly didn't have. A large box draped in a woolen sheet dominated much of the room. I magnetically moved towards it, my hand outstretched, before I heard a loud cough and a velvety yet firm voice proclaim, "Chiro Dunne, I believe your business is with me."

"Ah yes, of course, so sorry!" I blurted out upon Counselor Naotake calling me out, my face already flushed. I then sat down before the Counselor; 'Dr. Kaguya Naotake' emblazoned atop her desk. Towering over me, she was as intimidating as Mr. Noir was, with her long midnight black hair marked by a single silver streak, deep and piercing eyes, and her dark, elaborate dress like that of a doll from hundreds of years ago. I tried to keep Inessa's recommendation in mind as I gazed upon her, yet simultaneously, I had to commend her on dressing so strikingly. I knew I was far too self-conscious to wear an outfit like hers.

What she did next caught me more off guard, she actually smiled and chuckled at me. "Really, my dear Dunne, no need for apologies. Protective as I am of her, I can't blame you for taking such notice," Doctor Naotake said, her voice lighter and softer. For some reason, I took that the 'her' she mentioned wasn't Miss Mortlake. "In fact, that's exactly what I've been meaning to talk about with you," she said next, her voice again growing firmer. "I hear you have a rather nasty habit of apologising when you have absolutely no need to. Awfully improper and impolite of you... though now I've said that I suppose your natural inclination is to apologise. That one's on me, I admit."

She was all too right, as I was about to say sorry before her words stopped me midway. I was even about to say sorry for saying sorry. I then changed it to, "Yeah, I suppose that's true," but then had to ask, "Wait, how did you know? I thought these sessions started with you asking me what the problem was? Er, or so I've experienced."

"Simple, my dear. Miss Brandt told me all about you," Doctor Naotake said, then eyed me closer, "and how you've found yourself swept up from one bad situation to another." I winced and nodded, but then she said, "Chiro, I absolutely do not blame you for that, doing so would help nothing. If I may play the 'relatable' card, I found myself in quite the bad crowd in my own schooldays. Why, some would insist I still run with a bad crowd even now."

I shuddered to ask just what about this 'bad crowd' Inessa had told her about. I knew she absolutely wasn't the sort of person would just tell on me, especially with something of Abyssal Forest magnitude. And yet, given what I'd done, didn't people have every reason to be warned about me? Clearing my throat, I ventured "So, you're saying I can get out of this bad crowd? Cause if so, er, thanks for the encouragement, but I really believe I've gotten in too deep now..."

Before I could finish, Doctor Naotake then raised a hand, as a butterfly suddenly came flying in and landed on her fingers. "Can a butterfly break free of its cocoon, or a snake shed its skin?" she asked me. "Of course they can, as can you break free of the two prisons you find yourself in. I shouldn't need you tell you what the first is, but the second, Chiro dear, is the one you've built in your own mind. I'm not saying everything will be fine if you just escape your self-loathing, there's still an arduous road ahead, one I've walked myself. But they say 'all journeys begin with a single step' for good reason."

"No, I can't!" I gasped, nearly losing control of myself, before I blubbed, "I'm... I'm not that sort of person." I wasn't even a butterfly or snake, but a bat. I could picture Naotake saying that was but semantics, but I wasn't assigned that animal for no reason.

Dr Naotake then sighed; I couldn't blame her as her exhaustion with me emanating like miasma from her. "I am most likely going to regret this, dear Chiro. In my deal with time, this is a most grey area," she said. All I could think at the moment was what a 'contract with time' even was, I think I would've heard if there was a Saint or Beast with time powers. "But I can see drastic measures are called for. Bear with me a little while, I'm just off to fetch someone." Drastic measures? No, please, not for someone like me, I'm not worth them. And definitely not if it involves messing with time or breaking a deal. Of course, I was too weak to voice any of this before the Doctor did what she did.

She then lifted up the cloth to reveal what I could only call a blue box underneath, stepping inside. Wait, it had 'Police' written on it, didn't England have those way back in the day? The weirdness of a British police box being here was then eclipsed as it vanished right before me, making a wheezing, groaning noise as it did. I know I really shouldn't have been surprised by a sight like that anymore, yet I still found myself almost falling back in my chair.

While Dr Naotake was out, Miss Mortlake came back in and asked "Guess she talked to you about apologising too much, right? She tells me that all the time too." I nodded, which made her come closer and add, "But if The Doctor says there's a way, then there really is a way. I used to be in, well, she called them a 'cult'. I thought I'd be trapped there forever, yet she really got me out. So I know, I just know she can do the same for you!" her voice raised.

I instinctively shook my head, about to say that she was worth it, I wasn't. And that whatever her situation was, mine was completely different. Except, was it? I knew nothing about the cult Miss Mortlake used to be in. It couldn't have but somewhere in the Abyssal Forest, but who was to say there weren't... other places?

That wheezing, groaning sound came back again, and Dr Naotake walked out along with something else, both having somehow fit in that one box. That someone else was... me? No, she looked like just me, but there was no way it could be! This person was a girl, and I'm not, I can't be...

"Quite the adventure, but we've finally made it," Dr Naotake said despite having been gone only seconds. "Chiro Dunne, since you're still shy with introductions," she added, patting the green girl on the back, "may I do the honours? Chiro, yourself from the future. Miss Chiro, yourself from the past." Hearing that nearly broke me.

"I, I know I'm going to stumble saying this, but I really am you! Er, I mean you're going to be me," the future 'me' pleaded with me. i trembled as I saw she was even holding Count Fruitula, if a little patched up.

I blushed again and felt the urge to leave the room, were Miss Mortlake not blocking my way. I just shook my head fast and faster instead, then said to the girl from the future, "N-no, I'm sorry, whoever you are you've gone too much out of your way for me. There is absolutely no way you can be me., you're too pretty, too feminine, too-"

"I remember," the girl suddenly said, "I remember saying those exact same words. Chiro, myself, please, don't hurt yourself by saying that. It'll only be start, but you have to be kind to yourself, tell yourself you can change for the better! It's, well, a lesson I still have to learn even now. I'd give anything to have learned it sooner..." she looked downcast, then muttered, "I still don't think I can truly love myself, but you have to try! At least accept yourself, accept you are-"

"A girl?" I asked, with me feeling ashamed over how quickly that word came to my head. Again, I was about to say no, and again I couldn't. I felt I had to say no, but did I really want to?

"If it helps, I used to look like a man myself. Granted, I have, how to put this, certain 'privileges', but the principle's the same, " Dr Naotake chimed in, "If a caterpillar cannot imagine itself a butterfly, how shall it ever grow?"

My 'future self' then looked at Dr Naotake and, with some hesitation, asked, "Doctor, may I? I know you don't like this sort of thing..."

"Well my dear, I did say your circumstances called for drastic measures," Dr Naotake said back to her, then narrowed her eyes, "but any damage to your own timestream is on you, am I clear?"

She winced and nodded, before 'myself' looked at me and said, "Gentle as a spring breeze, Angelic Saint Humanitas takes the stage!" Were Miss Mortlake not there to catch me, I would've fainted seeing this girl who said she was me transforming into the very image a Saint right before me. I am no Saint, that should be proof she couldn't be me, yet she still said, "Chiro, I was you, so I know you cannot believe this, even I still find it hard to believe, but..." she said as I was engulfed in her green aura, "This is your future!" Upon detransforming, she looked back at the blue box and said, "Suppose I really should go, timestream and everything. Not to mention how Michael would react to what I just did."

"Oh yes, that 'Who is like God'. We shall have words," Dr Naotake said, then smiled at 'me' and said, "It's all perfectly normal, my dear. My own interactions with my past selves have never gone smoothly either. But that's another story for another time."

Having no way to believe what I just saw, I tried asking something else instead, something more plausible... relatively. "Dr Naotake, er, if I may ask, how is it you can all fit inside that box?"

"The word you're looking for is TARDIS, Chiro dear. And it's simple, a little thing we call dimensional transcendence. Oh, and you can just call me 'Doctor', only reason I call myself Kaguya Naotake is your school made me give some name when I set up shop as Counselor here," The Doctor told me. She then looked past me at Miss Mortlake and said, "Lavinia dear, time we were off. Now this whole business with the Daleks exploiting the Abyssal Forest has been sorted, our job here is done." Wait, Dalek? Did she mean the Beast of Wrath?

"Ah, can I just have a few more minutes? There are people here I wanna say goodbye too, that's all," Miss Mortlake asked, having to readjust her glasses. That she already had people to go out of her way to say goodbye to cast a dark mirror on my own social skills.

"Alright, just a few more minutes. I've always found farewells rather bothersome myself, but if they mean that much to you," The Doctor told her.

Before Miss Mortlake got back, I knew I should ask one last thing... I just didn't know what. The thought of my own future, my own identity, was still burning in my head. Yet I froze at the thought of asking about, well, who I really was, even if that was what these sessions for. So instead, I asked maybe not the best question, but definitely no small one either. "Doctor... are you an Angel? You don't act like a beast at all, but I'd know if you were a Saint."

"I'm The Doctor," was all she answered. In turn she asked, "The question you really should ask, Chiro, is who you are."

[90sbee]

god i'm so glad i came across your fic just !!! so unique!!!

That was one of the things you didn’t have to deal with as a ghost. It was lonely, yes, but free from restrictions. You could say what you want, do what you want and no one would bat an eye because they can’t see you. You’d never known how good it would feel to do as you please. How freeing it truly is. Your heart clenches at the realization of this now, after you’ve already died and lived your short life. You wanted to curse whatever higher power there was for this cruel joke. Of course you would finally find yourself only after you’ve died. You shake your head at the thoughts before you can get too emotional. There’s nothing you can do about it anyway.

this so fucking raw. like HELLO. i need a moment. this one hits deep.

“I just want someone to see me.” It’s so quiet coming out of your mouth Leon barely hears it at first.

SORRY THIS ONE BROKE ME LIKE JJSKJKSDJSADKJSKJDS relatable

Leon says your name quietly, “You won’t get to that point, okay? I won’t let you.” His fingers ghost over your arm, dipping softly into you, your image spreads like mist around his fingertips.

Leon warming up to her just !!! aaaa. he is so cute:((( always wants to save everyone GOD I LOVE HIM

GHOSTING YOU. [1]

: ̗̀➛ navi. | gy masterlist. | main masterlist.

note: just a lil something i whipped up. this will have like .. maybe three parts?? this is part one ! hope y’all enjoy

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of murder, ghosts

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

word count: 6.4k

summary: you’ve been haunting the R.P.D for months now. you didn’t think things would change until a certain blonde haired rookie showed up.

Falling. Gravity pulling your body downwards with such force that when you hit the floor; everything went black. And when you wake up, you find that you’re not entirely yourself anymore. There’s something missing. A person, a place, a memory. Your memory. All you know is that it was important. This loss, this carved out space in your mind, was important. It’s an answer.

It’s how you died.

—

You’ve been haunting the Raccoon City police station for the past three months. Three months of people walking right past you; or through you. Three months of screaming so loudly for someone — anyone — to acknowledge you going unanswered. You didn’t know why you were here. You couldn’t remember and trying to remember was painful. Excruciatingly so. It would start off as a buzz, a little harmless noise in your head, then it would transform into a sharp ringing. One so loud you swear you could feel it through your whole body. The pain that accompanied the noise was unbearable. So, you’d stop trying to remember. And eventually you’d give up trying altogether.

You’d start walking around the station with no real destination, no purpose. You’d stop looking over officers’ shoulders to try to get a glimpse at the newspaper they’d be reading, searching for your name to see if your death was in the papers. You’d stop talking to them, stop hoping that at some point one of them would finally hear your voice. And you’d stop attempting to leave the station and just accept the fact that you were never leaving.

Your attempts to leave the station at first were always futile. When you’d approach an exit there was always this naked wall blocking it. Preventing you from moving forward. Pushing your hands and throwing your body against this invisible force never once faltered the strength of it.

You remember the first day you got here. You were so scared and so unknowing of what pointless, repetitive, future you had in store. You had hope. Something that has since left you. Hope that if you could just figure out how you died, you would get to move on. Go someplace better than having to watch people live as you were stuck in an endless cycle of this lonely misery.

Loneliness, it’s all you ever feel now, you can’t remember how it feels to have an interaction with someone who can reciprocate it. Someone who knows you exist. That’s all you want, to be known. To have someone to talk to in this shit hole of a place. It wouldn’t matter to you if you were stuck here forever, as long as you had someone to acknowledge you. It wouldn’t be so bad if you had someone.

Today was the same as all the others, you listen in on people’s conversations, hear them talk about shit that doesn’t interest you but you have no other entertainment. Unless they turn on the TV in the break-room, then you glide through walls to watch whatever they put on. Sometimes, when you’re feeling mischievous, you’ll brush your fingers on the backs of people’s necks, just to watch their skin grow goosebumps and their heads whip back to find what ‘touched’ them.

It’s not much, but it’s all you got.

You walk over to your two favorite officers to eavesdrop on; Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine. They’re not regular officers, they’re a part of S.T.A.R.S. You don’t know exactly what they do, you just know they’re a different division. If you really wanted to, you could find out, but you honestly don’t care. Watching them is interesting while they’re here, but only because of Chris’s massive crush on Jill. It’s so obvious yet she doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe she doesn’t want to. You don’t think that’s the case though. From what you’ve seen, how they’ve interacted, they’re both into one another. But neither one of them will make the first move.

It's almost too hard to watch. The awkward touches, the sheepish smiles, the way everyone else whispers about them. You wish you could put them out of their misery and just tell them to get it over with and kiss already. Of course, you can’t though. All you can do is sit and watch them talk, pretend that maybe they can see you too, and that you’re a part of this conversation they’re having.

Leaning on their conjoined desks, you fold your arms over your chest and listen.

“Heard there’s a new rookie comin’ in today.” Chris grins as he says it.

Jill perks her head up at that, “I bet you’re excited about that. Someone new to torture with your insane initiation ritual.”

“We haven’t had a new guy in so long, Jill! With all the work Wesker has us dealing with right now, we deserve to do something fun.”

“Yeah, well, my idea of fun is different than yours. Poor guy doesn’t know what he’s getting into joining our station.” She shakes her head, “Remember what happened last time you ‘initiated’ a new rookie?”

He grimaces, “How could I forget? I was the talk of the station for a month after Wesker chewed my ass out for it. Not to mention, I had to clean toilets as a punishment.”

“I think you’re the only person in this station who has made Wesker lose his cool.” She snickers.

You shift uncomfortably at the mention of their captain. You can’t explain why he makes you so uneasy, he just does. You’ve been everywhere in this station but the S.T.A.R.S office is one place you won’t go since he’s always there — except for now, he hasn’t come in yet today. You’ve chalked the reason up to just being that his reputation is less than friendly. Anywhere he is, is an instant repellent for you. His presence doesn’t only bother you though, no, you’ve noticed that everyone in the station will tense up around him. Even Lieutenant Branagh, which is an amazing feat on its own, considering the Lieutenant seems afraid of nothing.

Branagh is probably the one who will be training the rookie. The thought of following a new person around the station gets you excited, no one has been transferred while you’ve been here so this is new. Another person for you to scare the shit out of, the thought makes you smirk.

You zone back into the conversation, wanting to know more about this rookie.

“Heard rumors about him from other students in the academy.” Chris lowers his voice, leaning closer to Jill. You roll your eyes at the obvious way he just wanted to be closer to her. “Apparently, his parents were into some heavy crime, they were mobsters or some shit. Because of that, they were murdered. Kid saw the whole thing.”

Your eyes widen in surprise, feeling slightly guilty for planning on haunting him when he got here. A kid watching his own parents die was horrible to think about, even if they were criminals. You’ve never been close with your parents, but you couldn’t imagine losing them in that way. And now, this rookie is going to come into his first day on the job with people already knowing more than they should about him. Invading his privacy. You felt for him, you really did. If it was you, you wouldn’t want people gossiping about your traumatic past.

You push yourself off the table and go behind Chris, stroking your fingers lightly along the back of his neck until you see goosebumps. He slaps his hand over the spot you touched, whipping his head around while he shudders. Jill startles at his actions, asking him if he’s okay.

“I swear Jill, this station is haunted.” Jill laughs, loudly, at that.

“You believe in ghosts, Redfield?” Chris turns back to her and glares.

“Whatever.” He mumbles.

Their conversation before is forgotten, and you feel a sense of triumph. Your mind wanders back to the rookie and his story, or at least a little chunk of it. You decide, then and there, that you’re going to help make his time here a little easier.

—

He can’t stop fidgeting with his hands. His nerves are at an all-time high as he stares at the station in front of him. Pulling down the car mirror, he gives himself a look over. Splaying his hands over his hair, he flattens it into place, licking his fingers and then smoothing out his eyebrows after. Glancing down at his uniform, he rubs down the wrinkles, hoping to make them less noticeable as he didn’t have enough time to iron his shirt this morning. His hands catch on his name tag, reading ‘Leon S. Kennedy’.

Leon takes one deep breath, then another, before exiting his vehicle. He’s nervous, yes, but he’s also excited. Ever since the accident when he was a kid, he knew he wanted to do something good with his life. Prove every person that said he’d end up a criminal like his parents wrong. Growing up was difficult when everyone knew about your past, he didn’t want that here. He wanted – no, needed – a fresh start.

Someplace to prove himself.

He lets his excitement outweigh his anxiety as he treks up to the main door and walks right in. Immediately he’s met with a bustling precinct, officers are up and walking around, paying no mind to him. He takes this time to admire the precinct in all its glory. He had heard rumors that this building used to be an art museum, it’s evident it was. With the high ceilings that were decorated with pillars reaching up into them, along with intricate details in the crown molding. Looking further, he could see a statue holding a flag in between two staircases that led to the second floor. Everywhere he looked was a well thought out architectural design.

He shook himself out of his daze. He led himself to the main desk right in the middle of the main hall where a woman in uniform sat, flipping through a magazine while chewing some gum. He cleared his throat to get her attention, she didn’t move.

“Uh, excuse me?” Leon spoke up.

She sighed deeply before folding the corner of the page she was on, flitting her gaze up towards his face. “How may I help you?”

Leon shifted from one foot to the other. “I’m supposed to meet Lieutenant Branagh… My name is Leon Kennedy. It’s my first day here.”

She looked him up and down, blowing a bubble and popping it aggressively. “He’s in his office. Go up the ramp and take the first door on your left.”

She lifted her magazine back off the desk and continued to flip through it. “Okay…” Leon mumbled.

Her dismissive tone bothered him more than he’d care to admit. It’s his first day and he already has to deal with the attitude from his coworkers. Although, he doesn’t think he’ll be spending much time with her, considering they’re in completely different areas of work.

He followed the receptionist’s instructions and walked through to the office. His eyes were immediately drawn to the large banner, reading ‘Welcome Leon’, with some other star streamers attached to the ceiling. His bad mood from earlier seemed to disappear as he took in the decorations, a sense of warmth and comfort flooding through him. A smile stretches its way across his face as he walks down the steps. His footsteps alert another officer in the room of his presence.

“Can I help you with something?” A woman, maybe a couple years younger than Leon, asked.

“Uh, yeah, I’m looking for Marvin Branagh. I’m Leon Kennedy.” He answers, pointing a finger up at the banner.

“Oh! Welcome Leon! I’m so sorry, you’re early, we were going to have a whole thing when you came in.” She says, defeatedly. A pang of guilt washes over him. ‘How many things can go wrong on my first day?’ He thinks.

“Sorry…” He scratches the back of his neck, eyes darting away from her gaze.

“Don’t be, at least we know you’re reliable. I’m Rita Phillips.” She gives him a gentle smile that eases some of the guilt of ruining the surprise they had planned out. “Marvin went to grab some files on a case, he’ll be back soon. Until then, you can wait on that bench over there. When you’re done talkin’ with him, you can meet everyone else.” She gestures to the left.

“Thank you.” She nods at him and goes back to her desk.

He walks over to the bench, taking a seat and wringing his hands together. His nerves from earlier are mostly gone, now he just wants everyone to like him. Leon likes to think of himself as uncaring of how people think about him, unbothered. Or that’s what he wishes he was. All his life he’s been a people pleaser, wanting people to like him and want him around. He can’t help it.

He spent all his childhood being avoided like the plague because of who his parents were and that takes its toll on a child. Changes how he acts now that he’s all grown up. No one knew what to say to him when he was a kid, no one could find the right words. He was alone and that made him angry. He didn’t ask for his parents to be criminals, it’s just the parents he got stuck with. After he watched them die, everything went to shit for him; his grades, the miniscule friendships he did have, his reputation, his sanity. He got into some petty scandals, started going down the wrong path. He wasn’t a full-blown criminal yet, but he was headed there. The only reason he didn’t get to no-point-of-return was because of a police officer he met. That officer saved him, his future, his life. He led Leon to the right path, the one he was always meant to take. Leon hasn’t strayed from it since.

His attention is brought back to the present with the slam of a door. Leon did his research on the R.P.D before he got here so he knows the man that just walked in is Lieutenant Branagh. Leon shoots up from the bench as Branagh’s deep brown eyes meet his light blue ones. He walks over to Leon, stopping in front of him and switching the files he held in his right hand to his left.

“You must be the new rookie.” Branagh extends his free hand forward.

Leon grimaces slightly at the nickname before letting the emotion leave his face just as quick. Taking his hand, he shakes it, solid and firm. “Yeah, Leon Kennedy. It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

The Lieutenant gives an approving nod of his head, lips slightly upturned as he takes in the sight of his new officer. “Likewise. There won’t be much excitement for you today, this being your first day on the force.” He turns around and heads towards the desk closest to the stairs, Leon following right on his heels. “This is your desk.”

Branagh slaps his hand on the side of the desk. Leon takes a look at it, noticing that the cover for the desk is rolled down and locked by two padlocks on each side of it. He looks up at his Lieutenant, brows furrowed, confusion written all over his face. Branagh smirks.

“Your very first assignment rookie! Unlock your desk and awaiting you will be a list of files I need you to gather from the library. I’ll tell you what to do after that.” He nods his head one last time at Leon before making his leave to his own desk.

Leon scoffs quietly in disbelief. Unlock his desk? How? He bends down and takes a look at each padlock; they’re both lettered, not numbered. A small ‘psst’ is heard from his left and he looks to find Rita holding out a small paper for him. He takes it and she smiles, looking back down to her work. He unfolds the small page, reading the contents inside;

“Leon S. Kennedy, we’re putting you on a very special case for your first assignment.

Your mission is… to unlock your desk! The key to your success is in the initials of our first names. Input the letters in order of our desks. There are 2 locks - 1 on each side of your desk. Make sure you get them both.

Basically, your first task is to remember your fellow officers’ names, but you figured that much out, right?

Good luck, Leon.

By the way, it might take a little work to get Scott to give you a straight answer.

Lieutenant Branagh.”

Leon chuckled, finding amusement in this little game his superior thought out. All the things he was stressing about on his way here are completely forgotten now. He was slightly nervous that his Lieutenant would be a hardass, fearing that he’d be on his case his first day here. After meeting with him, Leon’s glad his anxieties were proved wrong. He tucks the paper in his shirt pocket and looks around him at the new people he will be spending all of his time here with. He thinks that maybe, just maybe, this is finally the place he will achieve his attempt at normalcy.

He didn’t know how wrong he was.

—

You were starting to get fed up with none other than Chris Redfield. He has an extraordinary talent at being the dumbest person you’ve ever known, well, that you’ve watched. You’ve been listening to him while he plans his stupid initiation — which is more like humiliation — with Jill. Every time he speaks your eyes roll further back into your head.

“You’ve had bad ideas before but none this bad.” Jill chastises. “This prank is not going to end well for a lot of people.”

“It’s not a prank, it’s an initiation. And it’s not that bad, you’re being dramatic…” Chris trails off when Jill glares at him. “You’re not being dramatic, that was the wrong word. How about… paranoid? Anyway, it’s not going to go terribly.”

“Yeah right.” You mumble. That was the biggest lie you’ve ever heard. This whole ‘initiation’ has the potential to completely derail into disaster.

Still sensing Jill’s apprehension, Chris continues; “I just want to see how well the new guy can take Wesker’s rage, it’ll be the perfect opportunity to see if he has the balls to work here. That’s all.”

‘That’s all’ he says, as if that’s not the perfect number one way to get this guy killed. You haven’t seen much of Captain Wesker, still making it your mission to avoid him, but you’ve heard all about him. Anyone who disobeys him or talks back gets reprimanded to an extreme degree. He doesn’t yell much, his anger is more controlled than that. It’s cold, calculated, he gives no warnings — if you do something wrong, it’s cause for immediate punishment to him.

Chris grinds Wesker's gears like no other though. They’re both hardheaded, stubborn, which causes them to butt-heads more often than not. Chris is the only officer in this station that has faced Wesker’s wrath and still continues to debate with him on the regular. You admire Chris’s ability to stand up for what he believes, even if his superior disagrees.

You envy it, even.

Most of your life was spent never saying what you really thought. Biting your tongue when it came to defending yourself or your morals. You were always so eager to follow the rules others had made for you, not wanting to stray too far from the good girl image you had given yourself.

It’s always been that way, even as a child. You were the star child that always behaved and listened to others. The teachers would sit the misbehaved boys next to your desk in class, hoping you would ‘keep them in line’ or ‘rub off on them’. All it did was make your school days unbearable. Constantly being the target of vile, degrading jokes or being messed with because they knew you would never say anything. Would never snitch.

It was torture. That was one of the things you didn’t have to deal with as a ghost. It was lonely, yes, but free from restrictions. You could say what you want, do what you want and no one would bat an eye because they can’t see you. You’d never known how good it would feel to do as you please. How freeing it truly is. Your heart clenches at the realization of this now, after you’ve already died and lived your short life. You wanted to curse whatever higher power there was for this cruel joke.

Of course you would finally find yourself only after you’ve died.

You shake your head at the thoughts before you can get too emotional. There’s nothing you can do about it anyway.

“He’s here!” Chris whisper-shouts.

Jill looks at him with an amused smile on her face, “You don’t need to whisper, he’s a whole floor away from us.”

“...Right.”

You chuckle softly. Chris can be hard to be around sometimes but he’s got this way of making everyone love him. Even when he’s being stupid. Like now.

“Let’s go greet him.” He smirks and Jill’s soft demeanor from before drops.

“Don’t do this today Chris. Let the kid have a day to settle in before you ruin his life.”

Chris scoffs, “But we-”

“No.”

Jill looks at him pointedly, waiting for him to say anything in defiance of her order. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish before snapping it shut altogether. She grins in victory and stands from her seat. “Let’s go meet him.” She holds her hand out and Chris takes hold of it, pulling himself out of his seat and walks out of the S.T.A.R.S office with her.

You trail behind, not wanting to miss getting to meet the new rookie yourself. After winding through corridors and staircases you all finally make it to the main hall, walking over to the receptionist's desk where Alice works. You’ve been around her a few times but never stayed for long, being around her is like being around the mean kids in highschool. With her constantly chewing gum and looking at everyone that talks to her like they’ve personally offended her somehow, looking at people up and down like she’s better than them.

Even though she quite literally only does one thing in this damn station and it’s to direct people that come in to officers that can actually help them. Why they ever put her in charge of talking with people, you will never know. Chris’s pace slows the closer we get, as well as Jill’s.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Jill suggests.

“Yup.”

They both get into position and start up the game. On ‘scissors’, Chris throws rock and Jill throws paper. She mutters a quiet ‘Yes!’ and pumps her fist in the air at the same time as Chris curses and hangs his head in defeat.

He holds his hands back out, “Best two out of three?” Jill rolls her eyes and pushes him away from her. He reluctantly drags his feet to Alice, stopping right in front of her and clears his throat.

Alice looks up and an emotion you’ve never seen before flashes across her face, “Chris! Oh my god I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you, where have you been?” She beams at him and realization dawns on you.

Alice totally likes Chris.

He laughs nervously, “I’ve been here, you must’ve just not seen me. Anyway, we’re looking for the new rookie, any chance you know where he is?”

“I’ll tell ya but it’ll cost you.” She purrs, leaning forward over the desk and brushes her fingers over his arm.

Jill covers her mouth, stifling a laugh. Your amused eyes look over at Chris where he sports a grimace and raises a hand to scratch a spot on the back of his neck, a nervous habit you know he has. Alice bats her eyes expectantly and Chris shifts. “Uh, you know we can just find him ourselves, thanks.”

He scurries away as Alice’s expression drops into one of shock. You snort and follow Chris and Jill’s snickering figures. “It’s not funny, Jill.”

“It’s a little funny.”

You stay behind them and watch as they walk in sync, hands nearly brushing against each other as they continue to talk and laugh with one another. It makes your chest tight. Before you died, you didn’t have much luck with romantic relationships with people. It’s not that you didn’t want it, you did. But you decided to stay focused on school, you always told yourself that when the time was right, you’d put yourself out there. You were in your third year of college when you died, still waiting to put yourself out there. It’s another regret you can’t help but have now that your life is gone.

You wanted to have a deep connection with someone; wanted to know all their little quirks, their tells, any small detail that would seem insignificant to a passerby but would mean everything to you. That’s what Jill and Chris have, even if they don’t see it. It makes you want to scream at them, tell them to just go for it because life is short and you never know when it’ll come to an abrupt end.

Your thoughts come to a stop when you accidentally run right into - well, through - Chris. His whole body shudders and he’s looking right into Jill’s eyes, exclaiming “Did you feel that?!” She brushes him off and opens the door into the library, walking over to the file archive section. You didn’t even realize they had found out where the rookie was, too lost in thought to notice.

You spot a blonde haired man sitting on the library floor with files spread all around him at the same time Jill does. She and Chris make their way over to him, their shadows encasing over his body. Leon looks up at the sudden loss of light.

“Hey, you’re the new guy right? I’m Jill Valentine and this is my partner Chris Redfield. We’re a part of the S.T.A.R.S unit.” She gives him a friendly smile.

He pushes himself up off the floor, meeting their gazes in equal now. “I’m Leon Kennedy, it’s nice to meet you both.” He extends his hand and Jill shakes it first, Chris follows.

You hover behind them, watching the interaction. You take this time to admire the rookie — Leon. He’s probably the prettiest cop here, if you’re being honest with yourself. With beautiful blonde hair, cut short but still has some bangs flowing over his face, with baby blue eyes and a defined jawline. You step closer to him, wanting to get a better look at his features, when his eyes flit to your face before hastily retreating back to Jill. Your body stills.

Did he just look at you? No way. No one can see you… or you thought they couldn’t.

He continues talking with Jill and you’re convinced you imagined it. But what if you didn’t? You decide to test your theory, if he really can’t see you then there’s no embarrassment for trying, and if he does — well you might just be the happiest woman alive. So to speak.

You squint your eyes and slink closer to him until you’re standing right in front of Jill, blocking his line of sight. He shifts from one foot to the other, nervously twiddling his fingers and craning his head slightly to the right. Your eyes widen. “You can see me!” No response.

You huff, “I know you can see me because you wouldn’t have moved your head to see Jill if you couldn’t.”

His eyes meet yours and you beam in victory. Jill’s brows furrow, “Are you alright?”

Leon snaps his eyes back to hers. “Y-Yeah, sorry. I just want to finish up here and get these files to Branagh. I want to make a good first impression, you know?” He laughs, but it sounds forced.

“Gotcha. Well, we’ll catch you around.” Jill turns to leave but Chris stays.

“See you tomorrow, rookie.” He smirks before following Jill out of the library and you roll your eyes.

You turn back to Leon, who glances around anxiously before his eyes settle back on you. You try not to shudder, not used to having someone acknowledge you for the past three months. “If I were you, I wouldn’t talk to Chris at all tomorrow.”

He squints at you, “Why?”

You almost jump in excitement at the fact that he’s responding to you. “Because he’s been planning this stupid initiation that’s most definitely going to ruin years of your time here.”

He scoffs and turns back to the files on the ground. “That’s great. I haven’t even known the guy for more than two minutes and he already hates me.”

You frown, “He doesn’t. That’s just how he is, he’s really childish and in his mind this is how you get his stamp of approval.” Leon turns back to you with files in hand.

“Thanks for the warning.” He walks away, leaving you gaping with a shocked expression. You quickly gather yourself and run up to him.

“Uh, so you can see me and you’re just going to walk away?”

His eyes don’t move from the spot in front of him, “Yup.”

“No, no, I don’t think so. I’ve been in this precinct for months — months — and no one has been able to see or hear me. I’m losing my mind, you have to talk to me.” You plead.

This is just your luck. The only person in this whole precinct who can see you is trying to ignore you.

“No, I don’t actually, because you’re a ghost and normal people don’t talk to ghosts.” Another officer looks at him wearily and Leon smiles and nods his head before turning to a more secluded area in the library. “Look, I came here to get away from not-normal shit and that includes you. So I’m sorry that you’re dead or whatever but you need to find someone else to bother.”

Twice in the past five minutes this man has managed to leave you speechless. You’re not for long though as the shock simmers into anger. “You’re an asshole, has anyone ever told you that?” You snap.

He falters for a second before regaining his composure. “Look, I’m sorry but whatever you want from me, I can’t give to you.”

“I just want someone to see me.” It’s so quiet coming out of your mouth Leon barely hears it at first.

His expression softens and he pauses for a moment. His head bows and he blows out a long sigh, “Okay.”

“Okay?” You question, dumbfounded by his lack of an answer.

“Okay. I see you. I won’t pretend I don’t.”

Your heart flutters and if you could blush, you’d definitely be doing it right now.

“But I have to work and you can’t talk to me when I’m around other people. They’ll think I’m crazy if I’m talking to nothing but air.” You nod eagerly, just happy that he decided to not pretend you don’t exist.

—

That’s how it is for the rest of the day; you follow him, talk to him (though he can’t answer, just gives brief nods of acknowledgement), and sometimes accidentally walk into him; which he doesn’t appreciate as it feels weird. Even though he has to pretend you’re not there around others, the knowledge that he does see you is the greatest comfort you’ve felt in the last three months. So you continue to babble on about anything and everything, ranging from things some officers here do when they think no one is watching, to information on what he can do to get on people's good sides here, to things about yourself. Also just gossip.

That’s what you’re telling him now, “And Alice, the receptionist, I just found out today that she has a crush on Chris Redfield. That S.T.A.R.S member you met earlier today.”

“How would you know that?” He says openly now that he’s on his lunch break, away from people.

“Because anyone that ever comes up to her gets looks of disgust and dismissive behavior, but not Chris. No, he gets full on heart eyes and her full attention.” You wave your hands around for emphasis, one of your hands disappearing through the table before coming back up.

“Does he like her back?”

You shake your head, “No, he’s only got eyes for Jill.”

“His partner?” He stops eating, this newfound information peaking his interest.

“Uh-huh. She likes him too. I’ve just been waiting for one of them to admit it but neither of them will. It’s frustrating to watch.” You sigh out. Your eyes squint as the cogs in your brain turn, then you raise your hand and point a finger at Leon.

“You!”

He places his pointer finger on his chest, “Me?”

“You can totally help me set them up! I mean, I could never do anything because they can’t see me but you can. I can be the mastermind who makes the plans and you can execute them.” You’re practically buzzing in excitement at the idea of finally seeing Chris and Jill together.

“No. No way, that’s not happening.”

“Way. C’mon Leon! This’ll not only be fun but once they’re together, you can boast about how you’re the one who made it happen. They’ll forever be in your debt.”

“Or they’ll date for a while and have a terrible breakup and hate me forever.”

You frown. “Pessimistic much?” He rolls his eyes but you continue, “They’re already in love with one another, they just don’t believe that the other does.”

He laughs. “And you know that because they told you?”

You deadpan at him, “I know that because I’m not blind. I’ve been watching them everyday for the past three months, they belong together. Don’t you believe in that stuff?”

“What, true love? Not really, no.” His brows drop and his eyes hold something that you’re well familiar with; sadness.

You stare at him for another moment before clearing your throat. “Well, I do and they’re meant for one another. So you’ll help me.”

His eyes shift from sadness to amusement. “And why would I do that?”

You smirk, “Because without me you’ll never know what Chris has planned.”

The hand that was holding his fork faltered and his eyes met yours in a glare. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

“Of course it is. You get information from me and I get to see an overdue relationship blossom from you. Seems fair to me.”

He seems to consider it for a moment before shaking his head side to side. “I’ll take my chances.” You deflate but don’t push him, knowing that after what will happen tomorrow, he’ll be begging for your insight on future ‘Chris Pranks’.

“Suit yourself.” You shrug, a small, mischievous smile gracing your lips. He narrows his eyes at you but leaves it be nonetheless.

—

Time seems to fly by and before you know it, Leon’s packing up to go home. He’s in front of his locker, taking out his bag and car keys, then turns around to face your solemn expression.

He sighs, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

You release your bottom lip from your teeth, “I know. I just — I don’t sleep. So, I'm always by myself at night. I hate it.”

“You know, I’ve never met a ghost who can’t leave a building.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they usually linger around where they died but they’re not stuck.”

You puff out air through your nose. “Great! So I’m a mystery, even to ghost boy.”

He laughs, “Ghost boy?”

You wave your hand dismissively. “So, you mean other ghosts can like… go to Paris if they wanted to?”

He thinks for a moment before answering, “I guess they can? Like I said, they linger where they died. Most ghosts move on before they even think about traveling too far.”

“Move on? I can do that?”

“Of course you can. Ghosts that don’t move on become…” He pauses, like he doesn’t want to continue.

“C’mon, they become what?” You laugh nervously, a habit in stressful situations that you haven’t shook off, even in death.

“Aggressive. The longer you linger in this world as a ghost, the more you lose yourself. I’ve seen it happen.” He glances at you warily.

“How long do you have to be here until that starts?” You’ve been here for three months, that’s not that long, right?

“Usually the time ranges between six-to-twelve months. But look, I’m sure you’ll be able to move on by then.”

You turn away from him. It was bad enough that you have been stuck here with no idea of what happened to you, but now you have a time limit?

Leon says your name quietly, “You won’t get to that point, okay? I won’t let you.” His fingers ghost over your arm, dipping softly into you, your image spreads like mist around his fingertips.

You turn back to him, appreciative at the attempt of comfort. “You aren’t obligated to help me, Leon. This is my problem, not yours.”

He smiles. “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”

“Really? Because earlier you basically told me to piss off.”

“But that was before I got to know how lovely you are.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, rookie.”

He chuckles, “No one is immune to my charm.”

You roll your eyes. “Your game is bad, that’ll be another thing I’ll help you with.”

He feigns offense, “My game? Bad? Impossible.”

He closes his locker door shut and you walk with him to the exit of the building. He looks around for any lingering ears and turns back to you when he spots none.

“You’ll be okay?” He murmurs, still hesitant to talk to you out in the open.

You put on your best brave face. “Yeah, of course. See you tomorrow.”

He softly smiles at you before turning on his heel and walking out of the precinct. You watch him as he gets in his car and pulls out of the parking lot, down the road until you can’t see him anymore. You stay there for a few more moments before taking a deep breath and looking around at the now Leon-less precinct.

Tomorrow.