#reiterating that this is all my opinion i don't see them as romantic but romantic shaneke shippers are still cool and deserve big swords

[dark-night-star-light]

I've decided my tags are of utmost importance.

#they are tragic they are soulmates they are each other's salvation#but they are not romantic#i'm sorry i just don't see it#they are two planets orbiting each other round and round until one gets knocked into a star#(yes i know planets don't orbit other planets. shut up.)#abeke never felt like she had romantic feelings for shane just a strong sense of grief and tragedy and loss#and shane's kid crush (because he's a literal CHILD) on abeke feels more like a desperate need to make it all up to his only real friend#like he pinned all his hopes for his redemption on her and now the only way he'll see himself as good is if she forgives him for everything#he needs her because her validation is everything to him#he needs her because he loves her not because he's IN love with her#worthy says he was in love with her but i think worthy mistook shane's desperate need for abeke's approval as love#remember worthy's just a kid too#tell me you see the vision#they aren't romantic they're so much deeper than that

Breaking my silence to say: Shane and Abeke were never romantic to me.

[kyouka-supremacy]

This is random, but here's a list of things that aren't technically canon but make official sskk lore to me:

Akutagawa is a trans gay man

Atsushi is bisexual

Akutagawa fell when Atsushi told him “In my opinion, Dazai-san recognized you a long time ago”. Atsushi fell the instant Akutagawa died for him, because that's the first time he started considering him human (the fell first / harder of this thread).

When Dazai told Akutagawa “you know the reason yourself, don't you?”, the implied reason both of them knew about is that Akutagawa loves Atsushi.

Akutagawa is / was romantically in love with Dazai

In his free time, Atsushi reads and often visits the public library (this is canon, but stretching and reiterating)

In his free time Akutagawa sews. He doesn't like reading.

In chapter 87 it was specifically Atsushi to land the blow that killed Fukuchi (and not Akutagawa) because Akutagawa was still holding to his promise not to kill

Atsushi can cook (and he's getting better at it!), Akutagawa mostly can't

Akutagawa has autism and adhd and eating disorders

Akutagawa and Gin live together

Akutagawa is very protective of Gin. He insists that nobody has to know they're siblings, not even in the pm

Atsushi is the big spoon, c'mon guys

Atsushi prefers coffee over tea, Akutagawa only drinks tea

Akutagawa can't cry (disproved in canon)

To their own surprise, Akutagawa is way more willing to touch and cuddle than Atsushi is. Atsushi really isn't used to physical touch, and it takes him a long time to adjust.

Dazai intentionally set sskk up to be the new generation of double black, but didn't predict they would have ended up together.

Atsushi is pretty selfish actually. Way more than Akutagawa anyway.

If they could have grown in normal circumstances, both of them would actually be quite confident people.

Akutagawa's disease was directly caused by Dazai's physical abuse (half canon? I mean he doesn't have it in Beast)

Akutagawa can't hold his alcohol (canon). Atsushi literally can't get drunk (tiger regenerative abilities).

Atsushi sleeps 10pm-6am, (canonly inherited from when he lived at the orphanage, but I shifted it of an hour because like. C'mon. I don't want to curse this guy to wake every day of his already miserable life at 5am). He is the early bird™

Akutagawa sleeps 5am-11am or later (I know it's technically 3am-5am but man I don't want to curse this guy to sleep for two (2) hours every day of his already miserable life). He is the night owl™. I like to think he'd be a sleepyhead once he's found a place he can *finally* feel safe in, which is something he never had, but y'know. Generally this.

Either way, both of them are insanely light sleepers

Excluding external conditioning, Atsushi and Akutagawa are perfectly equal in (overall, not physical) strength. However, Atsushi prevails over Akutagawa in canon because of the effect All Men Are Equal has on him. The same goes for Akutagawa in Beast.

When they're alone together, Akutagawa does most of the talk; which is still not an exceptionally big amount, but still more than Atsushi, who acts strikingly different in comparison to the usual overchatter and chaotic rambler he is with other people.

After they get together, Akutagawa keeps calling Atsushi “Jinko”, while Atsushi will probably shift to calling Akutagawa “Ryuunosuke” at some point. I don't see either of them using pet names.

Atsushi's love language is words of affirmation, Akutagawa's is acts of service.

Both of them highly dislike pda. They try to keep their relationship secret as much as possible.

Atsushi would have been very non overprotective / laid back if it hadn't been for The Incident (Akutagawa dying in front of his eyes). Now he has an hard time leaving Akutagawa alone.

Neither of them have any dating experience

[offtorivendell]

On Elain, Gwyn and their apparent romantic worthiness.

TW: mentions of death, violent or sexual assault, infertility and pregnancy/childbirth related trauma. Please do not proceed if these topics bother you.

Disclaimer: please, please engage with this post with kindness. I promise I am not writing it to stir the pot, but because I - and many others - are fed up with seeing hurtful and harmful rhetoric spewed by the fandom, yet having no back up when dealing with it. Word vomit incoming, I'm sorry. This has been bothering me for a while.

My love to everyone who has been hurt by things they've read in this fandom. 💜

It's 2024 and I cannot believe we are still seeing posts, almost daily, about both of these women; all giving reasons why they cannot possibly be with Azriel. And I don't mean the debatable but utterly harmless discussions about Elain not looking good in black or Gwyn blabbing to Merrill when asked not to. Whatever, go nuts. I mean the truly horrific takes based around things these two women have had no control.

Now, my post history makes it very obvious where I stand in terms of ships, and yes, I'm well aware I've spoken before about the inherent power imbalance - that I perceive - which would exist if Azriel ever became involved with any of the priestesses in the women's shelter he is charged with protecting (to be clear, that's not me suggesting that Gwyn and her story isn't powerful, or powerful representation to those who see themselves in her, nor is it personal to Gwyn, or indicative of any of the sheltered priestesses and their ability to heal; it's purely a function of Azriel's position of authority over their sanctuary). I want to reiterate that my stating my feelings about this was never done with the intent to shame people who do ship them; we all ship who we like, and real world ethics should rarely come into it.

That being said, the following, in my opinion, is one of those times.

Firstly, I just want to say that lived experience informs how we interpret fiction, so please let me clarify something: the people who have said that they don't think Gwyn is ready for a relationship yet, and that NSFW fan art of her with anyone makes them uncomfortable, are not in any way in the wrong. They're simply the other side of the coin to those who find it empowering, and both are valid responses, often related to personal trauma. The problem lies with those very few who say that Gwyn could never have a romantic relationship, and call those who talk and/or post about it "gross." Some have called her "damaged goods." This is absolutely wrong and whoever is doing it needs to stop.

The entire fandom, even those who find romantic or NSFW content involving Gwyn uncomfortable to consume, frequently acknowledges that her trauma doesn't define her, and of course she should be able to enjoy love whenever she feels ready for it. Those who say otherwise are readily condemned from all corners. I've seen it happen and called the people out myself, as have many other Elriel shippers when necessary. However, Elriels are still very regularly and very publicly blamed for the actions of a few (some of whom I truly believe are burner accounts wanting to cause chaos, with their Elriel themed usernames and no post history), despite our largely collective action to call them out when we see it.

Could we do better? Absolutely, but so can you!

Because, on the other hand, I've noticed that, whenever I or others have tried to explain why the pliable bones "theory" - which attempts to reason that Elain could never be endgame with Azriel, as she and any baby would die during the course of pregnancy or childbirth - is equally as harmful, we are met with people publicly and wholeheartedly refusing to understand why (especially recently). Some horrific comments have been made to my friends, not to mention all of those I see well after the fact, which are never widely condemned by any but us. People will argue back that we're wrong, and have even suggested we're weaponising infertility! On Mothers' Day, of all the fucking painful days to say that.

Some of the push back I've seen recently includes:

"Nobody has said Elain is infertile."

No, nobody has, and that's not what we're saying or have ever said. We know you don't think this, as the Elucien fandom loves to write and draw Elain and Lucien's hypothetical future children (which is super understandable, as this is a romantasy fandom after all - no shame, enjoy your warm fuzzies).

What we are saying is that, if it's true that Elain's anatomy wasn't changed as Feyre and Nesta's was - and to be clear I cannot stand that entire plot, I wish SJM had chosen literally any other reason why Feyre's pregnancy was dangerous, as it is simultaneously degrading and doesn't fit with her previously established lore - then Elain and Azriel, together^, would be functionally infertile. Yet it's only ever framed as Elain's body not being able to work with Azriel's, never the other way around.*

^Why didn't the bat boys have to sacrifice their wings to keep their wives/mates safe? Why did the women have to change their anatomy? Because it would make it harder for them to be all powerful? Well Nesta sacrificed her powers! Why not just have Feyre be cursed by an enemy or something, and Nesta found a way to use the Dread Trove to save them all. Ugh. I love SJM's books, but this was such a miss.

*HOSAB/HOFAS SPOILER: funnily enough, this was never said about Ruhn and his eventual mate, even though he actually did think he may be unable to father children, thanks to the Oracle's prophecy. People shipped the hell out of him and a couple of different women throughout the CC series, despite the chance he could never get them pregnant.

"People haven't called Elain damaged goods, so it's not the same. We're allowed to not like her."

My faerie porn* lover in christ, what the fuck do you think the pliable bones "theory" is actually doing? It is suggesting that Elain's hypothetical inability to survive having children with Azriel, and for those children to also survive childbirth, is impaired. Ergo, she's damaged.

We don't care if you don't like Elain, we're allowed to have different preferences in characters and ships. That has never been the problem.

*I use this term with affection as a great lover of the genre.

But "damaged" vs a functionally "impaired" uterus? It's the same damn thing, and sorry, it's misogynistic af, not to mention ableist and homophobic at a minimum. In the same breath you are also reducing your favourite to her apparently functional uterus (even though the pliable bones argument is medically inaccurate, by the way - this is really damning of the state of health education across so many countries).

"Hahaha/lol."

Yes, I have seen people laugh and treat this as a joke. As recently as tonight, in fact. It's disgusting.

Regardless of your lived experiences and shipping preferences, both of these takes about Elain and Gwyn are equally degrading and horrific and need to stop, but if you're only calling out the comments that hurt you/your friends/your ship and not the others, then you should maybe attempt some basic self reflection and analyse those double standards you're carrying.

This entire fandom needs to do better. I'll say again, for the umpteenth time, to any of my fellow Elriels that if you think mocking Gwyn's past is funny, then you're not mature enough to read an adult series. But this works both ways, and if you think mocking infertility is funny/use it as a win, then you're just as immature. I would really and truly appreciate it if we were not left alone to argue over and over again why discriminating against someone who couldn't "have a man's children" is wrong, and why many, many people in this adult fandom - that is largely comprised of women! - might find such a theory, and the resulting discourse, incredibly upsetting.

Infertility hurts; not having a kid when you want one can be viscerally painful. Besides that, I know very few people who have given birth who don't carry around some sort of emotional or physical trauma from doing so. Treating a character's hypothetical infertility with one man as a joke is gross.

Please don't call Gwyn "damaged goods" or suggest that Azriel would choose somebody else over Elain because she couldn't have his kids.

They are the same thing.

It's not hard to be kind. Pain is not a competition.

We should all do better, and take care of each other.

[meraki-yao]

Now I'm curious to know all the "candies" between Nick and Tay 👀 lol I don't ship them but I also find it interesting that some fans really ship real people together and gather evidence or proof of it. If its fine with you to share it pls do 🙏 but if not its also fine :)

Huh...

Actually, sure! I kinda wanted to share some of these at times but again I understand that rps is a complicated subject.

A couple of quick prefaces though:

1, If you’re uncomfortable with the subject, again, please don’t read under the post

2, I don’t have all the candies because I really just view them in passing, so I’m just gonna write/translate the ones I’ve seen, remember and find at least a logical speculation

3, I need to reiterate this in case my position in this gets misunderstood: Me writing about “candies” isn’t because these are MY opinion or things *I* found or *I* believe in them being evidence. I am just a translator and messenger.

4, (this one is gonna sound a little academic lol) Two things I realized when thinking about this “candy eating” culture is that Chinese people have a very difference understanding of platonic/romantic affection/relationships with the Western world, and that they look at the candies with rose-tinted glass. Chinese/Asian people are generally a lot less affectionate with their personal relationships, for example friends wouldn’t say “love you” to each other if they’re just friends, nor would they expand their friend group to the others easily or other stuff. And these people who look for candy go into their “investigation” already with the belief that “they are together”, everything remotely resembling a close relationship will automatically be interpreted as romantic. I thought about it a lot, and honestly among the “candies” I’ve seen, most of them are a matter of interpretation: yes those are things couples will do, but it wouldn’t be weird if friends did it too. So they’re not that seriously or up for further speculation. There is I think only one “candy” that I can’t quite say the same, which I will explain and elaborate on in this post. 

5, Please remember that the people who do this do it in good nature: something I didn’t make clear in my post yesterday, which is on me, is that the fans do want them to be together, but they’re not like… yandere level or something. If they’re just friends the fans won’t be upset or betrayed or anything, they just prefer to see them as romantic. They don’t mean any harm, and they don’t cause any harm because China is physically and digitally too far away for them to actually fuck shit up, and they understand the lines of parasocial relationships: those who met with Taylor during his China trip in December know to, and didn’t bring up this in front of him. They know where to draw the line, and whoever doesn’t and starts becoming a problem gets kicked out of the community. This is meant for fun.

6, Ok Future Meraki here, turns out, there’s a lot to translate, a lot more than I anticipated Jesus Christ and I do want to get this post how within today and make it a reasonable length, so I’m just gonna do two events and the one that I mentioned in 4. If yall want a part 2 let me know.

Ok with that being said, the main event under the cut:

In December they made a whole article about “candies” from December, and to quickly summarise (again noted that all of this is speculation, I didn’t and can’t fact check them, and I’m just a translator) (also this ended up way longer than I anticipated so for photo reference if you can please go to the link of the original article):

Academy Gala:

Nick and Taylor both attended the gala: Since the strike ended up to that point, the two times Nick attends a public event, Taylor’s there too (GQ men of the year and Academy Gala), and for both times he’s wearing Cartier’s Tank Must Watch (remember this watch, I’m gonna elaborate on it later because it is the only candy that even I can’t say it’s a matter of interpretation)

In various pictures of the night’s party that other people took, the boys can be seen together in the background

How the photography worked that night was magazine photographers wandered around the venue and randomly found people to take some relatively candid photos: so people who were walking/sitting/in any way sticking together would be photographed together. So best friends and married couples would be photographed together, which is what happened to Meryl Streep, Greta Gerwig, Saoirse Ronan, and Christopher Nolan, Cillian Murphy and their wives. With that logic, Taylor and Nick were caught by the photographer together TWICE, in clearly different places. Later Korean fans (with the same “candy-searching” mindset) read the time on Taylor’s watch in the photos: one was 8:30, one was 9:50. The implication is that they were together for at least that period of time (nearly 1.5 hours)

In both photos of the boys together, Nick’s elbow is…straight up leaning into Taylor's chest. In a photo with Kaia, Nick’s friend and co-star from Bottoms (Brittany), there’s visible space between Nick and Kaia but none between Nick and Taylor (… okay I’m gonna pop in with my own opinion on the latter one real quick: I really think that one is just Nick being a gentleman)  

During that night, Taylor re-posted an Instagram post from July onto Little Red Book: but the things is in the comment section of the original Instagram post, Taylor teasingly pretends to not know Nick; and according to the posting time and the time calculated in 3, Nick would have been watching him post that to Little Red Book.

Nick got a photo with Taylor’s friend Jay Ellis (Jay and Taylor follow each other on Instagram, and Taylor comments under Jay’s post), even though Nick and Jay don’t seem to have any direct connections. Kaia and Taylor started following each other on Instagram after the event.

While other people who got photos with Taylor posted them, in Taylor’s Instagram Post for the night: He only included his photo with Nick, the rest are all solo portraits of himself. Not only that: he edited the background of the photo so it’s just them, and proceeded to put the photo in the middle of the post.

a bunch of Taylor's good friends, including Taylor’s cousin went to like Nick’s post for the academy gala night. Taylor’s sister Ash shared Taylor’s post to her stories: 2 photos of Taylor himself, and the one photo of Taylor and Nick. Taylor mentioned in a past interview if he had any emotional or relationship (I don’t know which one is the right translation, the original wording is 感情) issues, he would talk to Ash. (please note that I didn’t not and don’t know how to fact-check any of the things mentioned above except for Ash’s Instagram)

Conclusion/ Speculation (okay the academy gala part alone took me 40 minutes what the fuck): I cannot reiterate this enough: THIS IS JUST SPECULATION DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY but under the assumption that Taylor and Nick are a thing, the serious of shenanigans that happened that night, especially with the family and friends stuff in 6,7,8, was interpreted as they announcing it to their personal social circle. AGAIN THIS IS SPECUALTION DON’T TAKE THIS SERIOSULY 

Taylor’s China Trip

On 7th December, Taylor had a photo shoot at the GQ gala venue, but spent the rest of the afternoon taking photos and signing things for fans. Among those, one was the photo of him and Nick from the academy gala just three days ago. He was visibly extra happy and showed off the photo to the crowd, unlike the other photos which he simply gets it, signs it, and then gives it back.

This day was also the start of “Taylor giving Nick/Henry a moustache”: throughout the trip, he drew on four photos of the two of them

(This one is a … really big stretch) among the four, one of them was the GQ magazine shoot, and he first drew the moustache on Nick’s face, giggling “I’ll sign on Nick’s face”, signed his own signature, then just when he was about to give the magazine back he suddenly changed his mind and said “wait wait I wanna do something on my face”, and then drew a crown on his head while muttering “crown prince”. And the thing is… historically, George Villers had a moustache. And then he drew a moustache on Nick and a crown on himself. Also, one of the most popular Chinese RWRB fic on AO3 is called “The King’s Palace”, and the premise is putting Henry in George place as the social climber and the Duke of Buckingham (it is literally George’s character with blonde hair and a different name), and Alex as the crown prince who ascended to the throne and is also utterly infatuated with Henry. So… yeah.

When he drew the fourth photo, which was the piano scene, the fan who asked said “Oh you’re so nice to Nick!” and according to their description (there’s no video), Taylor blushed a little and said “yeaahhhhh” with a big grin

While Taylor was in China people were stirring shit up on Twitter about him, and during the Twitter drama, Nick liked Taylor’s Academy Gala post.

The boys liked the same video on Instagram but from different accounts (a video about a pony in the snow)

During the trip, Taylor was seen wearing a white button-up with blue stripes. Nick has been seen wearing a shirt that looks identical before.

Cartier Watch (aka the one that makes me do a double take)

Taylor used to wear a lot of Cartier watches until he started wearing Tagheuer last July due to a commercial partnership

Nick likes wearing Omega watches. In fact, Henry’s watch in the movie is Nick’s own omega watch. He also has a commercial partnership with Omega.

But then starting last year, both of them were seen wearing matching Cartier’s Tank Must Watches (the silver on with a black surface and a sapphire crown): Taylor can be seen wearing it in the 5th photos of his September post, while Nick can be seen wearing it during the GQ gala, the Academy Gala, in Milan during fan interactions, and last weekend in his TIOY co-star’s Instagram story.

And the thing about this watch is (and here is where I need to reiterate that I’m just translating, I didn’t fact check this) 1, watch is a typical thing to give a lover, and you must be familiar with their wrist size 2, Cartier is a pretty romantic brand 3, the price of this watch is closer to what Taylor’s used to wearing but much cheaper than Omega 4, This specific watch is a popular watch to give a partner/lover, 5, David and Victoria Beckham’s relationship was discovered because paparazzi saw the Cartier watch he gave her and connected dots together

Jesus Christ at this point I should consider getting a part time job in translation

This was fun but this took me so much time, it’s ~2000 words long

Again, all of this was found and speculate for fun, and mean no ill will, and haven’t, and won’t harm the boys, please understand that and don’t take this took seriously. If you find this interesting and want a part two, let me know.

[kylieswift31]

A secret love story

"I don't want you like a best friend"

Taylor Swift has been singing about being in love with her best friend over and over again for years. There are many people who might fit this description, but perhaps the person she has been referring to all along is her childhood best friend Abigail Anderson?

This is going to be a gentle exploration of a loving relationship hidden in the shadows. 🐈🐈‍⬛

And just a big disclaimer before we get started: this post is akin to laying all of my cards out on the table at the end of a round of Cluedo as I announce my prediction of who the suspect is after considering the evidence along the way. Please keep in mind that Abigail does not hold the same celebrity status as Taylor does so this is presented as a theory or form of fan fiction until proven otherwise. With the exception of a couple of references to pride day celebrations Abigail has not come out publicly and her romantic involvement with Taylor is based on a variety of subtle comments and references. I've sat with this concept over the last couple of months trying to decide if sharing it was the right thing to do, but ultimately decided to acknowledge the trail of breadcrumbs that keep building up instead of tiptoeing around it. And just to reiterate, this is a strategy based discussion involving a multitude of subtle hints and connections. Generalised statements about performative relationships and behaviours have implied nuance and to avoid repeating myself this disclaimer is implied going forward. Please try to consider the details with an open mind as this is an exploration focused on the pieces of a puzzle that intersect to create a bigger picture. This going to be a really long post but it’s worth sticking around until the end. 🧡

"And so I enter into evidence

My tarnished coat of arms"

After zooming out to consider Taylor’s story through the lens of the Truman show with a completely museless perspective I began to recognise the strategic moves and countermoves that slowly but deliberately contributed to the bigger picture like an ongoing game of chess. In the process I began to see how revealing a long term relationship that began in high school would blow up the narrative of the “boy crazy” version of Taylor™, highlight the struggles that artists face when they're forced to keep their queer relationships hidden from the public to protect their career and how it would be the ideal relationship that could help reunite the majority of her fanbase following the aftermath of coming out publicly.

Unreliable narrator

“What if I told you I’m a mastermind?”

It's becoming apparent that when Taylor refers to herself as a mastermind that what she is alluding to is her role as the unreliable narrator of her own story. This type of narrator intentionally misleads the audience by obscuring the truth along the way to encourage them to engage with the story on a deeper level by forming their own opinions. Many of us have experienced this when we discovered that Taylor's male relationships were a facade to conceal her female relationships, but what if the female relationships were also a facade to conceal a long term relationship with Abigail? Perhaps it’s Abigail that we’ll be meeting at midnight(s)? 🕰

"I'm having his baby... 💙" -Abigail

"When the internet says 'MOTHER' I feel like this pic is actually what they mean" -Taylor

Abigail's pregnancy announcement was the first post I saw after discovering that she could be the red headed muse Taylor has been alluding to within her music videos. My eye was immediately drawn to the colour combination of the green and blue in the background and the red and yellow on the box of crackers. The green and blue is very similar to the canopy of trees seen at the start of the 'all too well' short film and Abigail had previously posted a very similar shot from a trip she took to Big Sur with her husband last year. I was a little confused by the box of crackers in the photo until I saw that there was a picture of Zarah at Questlove's "GMNGHT6" game night holding a family size box of crackers, which just left me feeling even more perplexed. Abigail has since announced that they have named the baby Bennett, a possible nod to Taylor's SNL 'roomies' skit or potentially a reference to the Bennett family in pride and prejudice. The birth announcement also had 'skinny love' by Bon Iver playing in the background. Add in the caption referencing ‘but daddy I love him’ and that’s four references to Taylor in one pregnancy announcement. I understand that this could just be a Taylor themed announcement considering that the majority of her followers are swifties, but there’s something about Taylor’s comment that feels like there’s a deeper message about karma being expressed here considering her latest post ended with “Childless Cat Lady”.

The (wo)man you script

"He said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night. I said, "that's a lie"."

The first line of Taylor's first song on her first album starts with a lie. And Taylor's not the only one with blue eyes. During the 'Me!' music video Taylor adopted a kitten and named him Benjamin Button. This is based on the character from the movie 'the curious case of Benjamin Button' and his love interest also had red hair and blue eyes. “I’ll never forget her blue eyes” was Benjamin's first impression when he saw her for the first time.

"The professor said to write what you know. Lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward."

What's curious about Benjamin Button's character is that he ages differently to everyone else. He was born as an old man and slowly became younger over time until he eventually died as a baby. Taylor has made a few subtle comments in interviews over the years that suggest that she has been doing more than just going back in time to rerecord her old music, implying that she has also been retelling her story with all of her new music too. Naming her cat after Benjamin Button symbolises the journey of reliving the past over and over and over again. And if Abigail is Taylor's muse then it's not just Taylor's story that she's been retelling. It’s “ours”. Or perhaps the time reference is more of a metaphor for predictability and repetition because it's 12 o'clock two times a day? ✌🏼

Best friends

“Tell me ‘bout the first time you saw me”

Taylor first met Abigail when they sat next to each other at her new high school. She was Taylor's partner in crime for the 'picture to burn' music video and then featured on both the song and music video for 'fifteen'. "You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail" made her role as Taylor's best friend famous, and then tying their friendship together with "Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind" cemented their connection in the public eye as a purely platonic friendship.

"And the school that used to be ours"

So many of the high school references make a lot more sense if Taylor is singing about someone she knew while they were both in high school. Taylor has mentioned a few times that they were often dressing up together and doing their own thing in high school because they didn't fit in with the majority of their peers. And then in a Jimmy Fallon interview Taylor alluded to wanting to throw a party for all of the cowriters from the lover album, implying that it was a bit because everyone knows that she wrote the album alone. But it’s the way she followed it up with a comment about how she was writing songs alone in high school too that hinted at Abigail’s presence throughout the song writing process.

Love story

"I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are"

In an interview Taylor mentioned how she didn't receive any advice before hosting SNL when she was 19. This implied that she may not have been given advise about that topic specifically, but instead received advice about how to protect her work and queer relationship while still being honest about her story along the way. In the Miss Americana documentary Taylor talks about how she was "falling in love with someone who had a wonderfully normal, balanced life". So much of what was said about Taylor and Joe's relationship in this way was indirectly referencing the beauty and fragility of her private relationship with Abigail. The difference between protecting a relationship with a celebrity and protecting their long term queer relationship is vastly different when you consider that cementing Abigail's role as Taylor's straight best friend gave her time to live her own life out of the public eye.

“Skipping the prom just to piss off your mom”

Taylor and Abigail never had a chance to go to prom together, so when MTV organised for Taylor to be a surprise prom date for the ‘once upon a prom’ show Taylor invited Abigail to tag along with her. They were able to get dressed up together and their mission was to find Abigail a date for the night. The prom photo of the four of them makes it seem like they're on a double date together, and if you're assuming that they're a heteronormative couple then you're not going to question the dynamics between Taylor and Abigail.

A is for Abigail

"Hey kids, spelling is fun!"

“Girl, there ain't no I in "team".

But you know there is a "me".”

The letters M and E are in the word TEAM, which leaves the letters T and A for Taylor and Abigail. Taylor posted a video of her being a copycat with the haim sisters as she put on the same outfit that they were wearing while the song 'copycat' was playing. I can't help but wonder if this was supposed to be an Easter egg for their appearance on Sesame Street. They sang an alphabet song together which started with "A is for Abby!" The pink fairy named Abby Cadabby first appeared on Sesame Street in 2006, adding a more colourful and feminine character to the cast of muppets. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that her name was mentioned in the song when she shares the same name as Abigail.

"We show off our different scarlet letters.

Trust me, mine is better."

The scarlet letter reference in the ‘new romantics’ song was one of the first blatantly queer references in Taylor’s discography. But what if the “trust me, mine is better” line is supposed to be from Abigail’s point of view because her initials contain the symbol for the scarlet letter? Or perhaps it’s a reference to Taylor because it represents both her queerness as well as her lover? To emphasise this connection between the two, Abigail and Taylor can be seen dancing together in the Spotify banner for this song. There’s also a moment during the ‘new romantics’ music video where you can see Abigail waiting backstage for Taylor too.

The Truman show

"People often greatly underestimate me on how much I'll inconvenience myself to prove a point…"

The director of the Truman show was pleading right up until the very end as he tried to convince Truman to stay. "You've never had a camera in my head!" was Truman's only response, pointing out that the director was so focused on the show that he never realised that Truman had been unhappy long before he started trying to escape. It felt like Taylor was referencing this scene in the 'Me!' music video when Brendon Urie opened a heart shaped door that revealed what was inside his heart. In the Miss Americana documentary Taylor described this music video as a compilation of who she is on the inside. "When it's like, "me-ee-ee," it's like dancers, cats, gay pride, people in country western boots. I start riding a unicorn, like just everything that makes me me." This implies that when we see inside Brendon’s heart that he’s also replicating what’s inside Abigail’s heart. When Truman concealed his truth behind a facade he created a play within a play by putting on a show of his own that distracted the director from seeing how he really felt while he was planning his escape. It’s likely that at some point Taylor and Abigail encountered a situation where they realised what they were up against and had taken the reigns by keeping their relationship private. This would have begun with creating their own play within a play with Taylor™ as the star of the show, and they have been leaving a trail of breadcrumbs that explain their side of the story ever since. And just like the couple in Taylor’s eye on the Spotify wrapped video have a birds eye view of the bigger picture, they’ve been playing the long game all along. Taylor’s end game isn’t necessarily to leave or come out formerly, but to prove a point that they can’t sabotage her plans when she has already came out in subtle ways over and over again from the very beginning.

“You never gave a warning sign.

(I gave so many signs)

All the time.”

"And then all I started thinking of was how do I hint at things, like, how far is too far in advance? Can I hint at something three years in advance? Can I even plan things out that far? I think I'm gonna try to do it!"

Sure Taylor could easily hint at something three years in advance when her schedule is already planned that far in advance already, so why not mention something fourteen years in advance instead? 🦄 In the behind the scenes episode for the 'fifteen' music video Taylor started a bit about how you don't want to see inside a woman's head. The director Roman White then repeated this sentiment as he demonstrated how the green screen works, implying that he was demonstrating what's inside both Taylor and Abigail's head. There was a rainbow, a cowboy riding a dolphin, a unicorn, a cat riding a bike and an obscure wrestling mascot. Referencing this scene from the Truman show during the fearless era and again in the lover era is a great example of how referencing the Truman show over and over again leaves a trail of invisible string that exposes the facade of Truman™ regardless of how far back you look.

Hidden in plain sight

“And not caring when people make fun of pumpkin flavoured stuff cause you LOVE IT”

To understand why Taylor keeps referencing the Truman show we need to consider that the performance art is designed to draw our attention to what's occurring beyond the view of the camera. Who was taking the photos when Taylor was with her friends? Who's spending the night backstage while Taylor's performing? Who is Taylor spending time with when she's not photographed? There are so many moments that we're not aware of because we're only seeing what she wants us to see. As Taylor's popularity increased and her friendship group expanded Abigail’s presence became less noticeable. Dressing up as posh spice for Halloween revealed the anonymity she possesses by demonstrating how unrecognisable she can be when you can’t identify her by searching for her iconic red hair. The spice girls are a band made up of posh spice, baby spice, scary spice, ginger spice and sporty spice. And pumpkin spice is known as the unofficial sixth member of the spice girls. 🎃

"When you're young they assume you know nothing"

Many assume that finding out that his father is still alive is what makes Truman aware that his life isn't what it seems, but what they don't take into account is that they're seeing Truman's story for the first time. It takes further exploration to realise that Truman has been living in an endless loop over and over and over again. 🕰 Truman began recreating scenarios of what he had experienced in the past to draw attention to the reality of his daily life and the director's influence that prevented him from leaving. Taylor and her friends have been recreating scenarios like this to demonstrate publicly what has been occurring privately over the years. For example, Abigail’s presence at Taylor’s concerts have oftentimes been overshadowed by other celebrities. Taylor's behaviour at the VMA's replicated this scenario by mimicking her friends having a blast and dancing along, meanwhile Jack and Margaret recreated Abigail and her husband watching quietly alongside the other celebrities. There's also the fire that Taylor and Gracie extinguished while working together which replicated how Abigail's hair caught on fire at her birthday party last year. Examples like this are really difficult to find unless you’re purposely looking for it, but the benefit is that they have plausible deniability because there’s no proof when they're recreating a similar scenario without being seen together. The tablecloth that Taylor’s security guard was seen carrying out of a restaurant was exposing the elaborate scheming that has been going on for years. “It’s all part of the fucking story” was just letting us in on their game plan. 🔥

Colour symbolism

"So scarlet it was maroon”

I recently made a post about the sequel to the original version of the parent trap and how the best friends tried to take a shortcut by sharing their homework. "What if we each read half a book? You can read the first part and I'll read the second. And then we can get together and tell each other what happens!" ❤️💙 This backfired on them because it's only when you view both sides of the story at once that you can see the bigger picture. And just like putting on a set of 3D glasses with one red lens and one blue lens, viewing a blurry image through the correct combination of lenses is like deciphering a puzzle. Perhaps the pairs Taylor has created tell two sides of the same story, with one half revealing the story she's shown to the public and the other to reveal the true story experienced in private. There may be many misconstrued details within Taylor’s music if you’re only viewing one side of the story, but the essence within her music is nothing short of authentic.

“Karma takes all my friends to the summit”

Just like the unreliable narrator, Taylor has been encouraging us to find the truth hidden underneath the facade. The techniques that have been used to conceal Taylor and Abigail's relationship really is a testament to how effective they have been with making Abigail Taylor's 'straight best friend'. And it all started with Karlie Kloss. She acted as a lighthouse drawing attention towards Taylor's queer relationships for those willing to see it, and with Abigail acting as the director Karlie and Taylor recreated moments that reflected experiences Abigail and Taylor had shared in private. This also meant that Karlie became the Trojan horse that concealed the trail of breadcrumbs leading all the way back to Abigail. Fast forward to now and Taylor and Travis are in the midst of retelling the story so that more people can see for themselves how performative relationships work. And it feels like the swifties being invested in their relationship is a necessary step to be able to recognise the pattern for themselves once they’re really to accept that Taylor is in a queer relationship.

The one worth fighting for

“I’ve still got you all over me”

When Truman left Seahaven all he took with him was the scrapbook picture he had created to represent what he was fighting for. As I was searching for Taylor’s version of this picture it took my breath away when I stumbled upon this one with the butterfly wings. 🦋 But it was the leopard print around the perimeter that left me speechless. 🐾 So many of Taylor's music videos have featured leopard print outfits, including 'shake it off', 'blank space' and 'look what you made me do'. In the 'look what you made me do' music video it's only after Taylor had crashed the car that a leopard had appeared in the seat next to her while she was holding a grammys award. Abigail posted a picture of herself at the beach at Martha's Vineyard, she was wearing a leopard print jacket and the caption described the song 'snow on the beach'. Referencing Abigail with the leopard in the passenger seat seems to imply that "look what you made me do" is karma for whoever instigated their decision to change their plans. And the leopard print on the butterfly implies that karma orange isn’t an impending album or a new era aesthetic, it’s the trail of invisible string woven throughout Taylor’s career to symbolise Abigail’s presence in her life. Karma is the fact that nobody is going to understand that connection before they understand that Taylor is queer. 🧡

"You don't know what you don't know"

"You think you could be happy here?"

"Can anybody be happy if they aren't free?"

When you think of redheads that Taylor is close with I assume you're thinking of Ed Sheeran, Diana Agron, Hayley Williams, Natalie Reid, Abigail Anderson, Sadie Sink, Ice Spice or perhaps Tree Paine to name a few. There have been so many red headed people in Taylor’s music videos too. I’d picked up on this pattern long before I first considered that they could be a reference to Abigail and the first occurrence just happens to be in 'picture to burn'. Many songs like this reference a third person that creates a love triangle. But what if Taylor was being honest when she said that she's been writing about a fictional love triangle? And the lie is that James ended up with August and not Betty? The way Taylor mentioned this tidbit is suddenly sounding a lot like the way she said "my boyfriend Travis" during her VMA's speech. Tayliar indeed. What if the story Taylor has been telling us over and over again is actually a fictional love triangle between Taylor, Abigail and Taylor™? Perhaps they've been using the main characters from the remake of the 'beauty and the beast' movie to explain their love story. There's the duplicity of Belle and Belle™ who felt torn between two worlds. 💙💛 The beast lived in exile, frozen in an endless winter as he watched the petals of the rose slowly wilt and die. ❄️ 🥀 And Gaston who made it his life's mission to convince Belle to be his wife and the mother of his children. 💍🤰🏼 Belle and the Beast reflect the beauty of the hidden love story between Taylor and Abigail. But in public it's a battle of wills between Belle™ and Gaston, who represent the facade of Taylor™ and her muse. When we see Taylor with Travis they're showing us the queer love story between Taylor and Abigail as Belle and the Beast, while pretending that they're in a real relationship as Belle™ and Gaston. The dynamics in the love triangle between Belle, Belle ™, Beast and Gaston remain the same regardless of who's playing which character. For example the 'bejewelled' music video ended with Taylor playing the role of Belle, and Jack playing the role of Gaston. She turned down his proposal and kept the castle. It's implied that she ended up alone but the reference to the Beast's castle suggests otherwise. Just like Taylor turned off the yellow light at the end of the 'all too well' short film and kept the blue light on, she's choosing Abigail over and over again in private. It ends with Abigail's character outside in the snow looking in because the spell keeping the beast frozen in time isn't broken until the very end. In the meantime Taylor has had to get clever with using other symbols to represent Abigail's presence in the shadows of the west wing.

"This castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing."

"But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west"

"The joker and the queen" 🃏👸🏼

Mascots

"I come back stronger than a 90's trend"

I've been viewing Taylor's story through a queer lens, a millennial lens and even a Truman show lens. Eventually I began viewing other forms of media through a Taylor Swift lens too, but more specifically late 90's and early 00's movies. I recently watched the 2003 movie 'stuck on you' which coincides with how Abigail has remained hidden in plain sight over the years. Bob and Walt are conjoined twins who spend their days working in a burger shop and at night Bob struggles with panic attacks due to accompanying Walt on stage while he performs in a play. Eventually they leave their small town of Martha's Vineyard and travel to Hollywood together so that Walt can pursue an acting career. Once he lands a role on a TV show it becomes clear that they've found many ways to conceal Bob's presence as he's barely visible on the edge of the screen. Meanwhile Bob meets up with his long distance girlfriend who doesn’t know that they’re conjoined twins. Bob is hesitant to tell her the truth so their roles become reversed as Walt tries to disguise himself and blend into the background.

"You know how to ball, I know Aristotle"

With this in mind, we can begin to see how certain mascots and items might be a subtle reference to Abigail when it would be too obvious if she was always present. And Chewbacca in particular is a mascot worth paying attention to. Not only is there a 'stuck on you' burger and fries reference in Taylor’s box of lies skit with Jimmy Fallon, there’s also a scene with Chewbacca walking a black beetle through Central Park. In Jenna Ortega’s box of lies skit was the above picture of cousin Itt with a picture of Jimmy and Chewbacca recreating the ‘stuck on you’ scene. I also pointed out recently that there was a hidden connection to the golden egg on the Stephen Colbert skit. In the video linked to that picture is a clip of Chewbacca catching a football. And guess who dressed up as Chewbacca for Halloween? Abigail and Taylor. Just like they've found ways to tell their story over and over again, mascots like Chewbacca who looks like the Beast is an indirect reference to Abigail living in exile without being a direct link to the story of Belle and the Beast.

Cats

“I don’t dress for friends.

Lately, I’ve been dressing for revenge.”

I mentioned earlier that Taylor's newest cat Benjamin Button seemed to be a codename for Abigail, but this concept began with Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey. Taylor has three cats but Meredith was the only cat included in the Midnights Mayhem with Me when 'Vigilante Shit' was announced. On the tortured poets department bulletin board there were three photos from the album variant announcements, a timetable and one personal photo which was a selfie of Taylor with Meredith. This seems like a typical photo for Taylor to include in her videos but when you compare it to the original photo it's apparent that the one on the bulletin board has been mirrored with Taylor on the left instead of on the right. This implies that Merideth is the cat that represents Abigail and mirroring the picture reveals that they’ve been sharing the story from Abigail’s perspective all along. And guess what date Taylor adopted Meredith? October 31st 2011, just shy of 13 years go.

"Karma is a cat, purring in my lap 'cause it loves me"

In the parent trap movie Allie and Hallie grew up apart and they both had two halves of the same photo, which lead them to discover that they were related. Taylor and Abigail have recreated this concept by showing the swifties the love story and the gaylors the queer story. This is why the swifties don’t recognise that Taylor could be queer and why the gaylors don’t recognise that the male love interest represents a real relationship. The key to understanding the bigger story being told is to understand that it's not one or the other, it's both. Taylor and Abigail are both telling a queer love story. And Jack was the key to understanding that all of the male muses represent both Taylor and Abigail’s relationship, mixed in with the story of Taylor™. His portrait in the 'bejewelled' music video is just like the photo in the 'anti hero' music video and the proposal is just like the one in the 'Me!' music video. These all tell two sides of the same story. In the 'lover' music video Taylor is eating spaghetti with her muse. This reflects the only scene that features Abigail in the 'Miss Americana' documentary where she seems to be a guest as Taylor cooks spaghetti for their dinner. And would it be a stretch to suggest that Abigail is also the mysterious masqueraded character who floats down with the orange umbrella in the 'Me!' music video too? Just like the picture of Jack with his round glasses, all of these references to Abigail have been hidden in plain sight to create an ongoing scavenger hunt much like trying to find the hidden characters in a "Where's Wally?" book. Each page tells a slightly different story, but the main characters remain the same. And what happens when you combine Taylor and Abigail's names together? The name abigaylor sounds pretty good. Or perhaps tabby cat is a little more accurate? 🐈🧡

Lover house

"You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round"

Taylor had an interview on her 21st birthday where she described her plans to sit at home pretending that she lived inside a snow globe for the rest of the day. ❄️ This sounds anticlimactic in theory, but what she's alluding to is the imagery of the lover snow globe. Each room reflects a different aspect of Taylor and Abigail's relationship. The fishbowl is a reference to Abigail stepping into the public view during the fearless era. The games room shows their scheming, while the attic represents their long term plans and recording music at electric lady studios. The pink room shows the duality of Taylor's public and private relationships. 🪞 The red room shows the performance they put on when they're seen together. And the green room with the picture of Benjamin Button is the only room where Taylor wasn’t wearing any shoes, implying that this is the space they share in private where they feel comfortable enough to be themselves. This suggests that the types of shoes Taylor wears hold a deeper meaning. I’ve been wondering if the red bottom soles on all of Taylor’s eras tour shoes are supposed to be another reference to Abigail, just like the toys in the toy story movie have Andy's name scrawled on the bottom of their shoes to indicate who they belong to. The scene in the ‘Me!’ music video where Brendon Urie is tapping on the soles of Taylor’s cowboy boots has always felt a little too random to not be a reference to something meaningful. The drum kit has always felt out of place too because Taylor mostly plays the guitar and piano, but Taylor's comment about Dylan O'Brien playing the drums while they were hanging out implies that this was another reference to Abigail having a go at playing the drums earlier in Taylor's career. Despite pretending to just be best friends in public, this scene represents the quality time they get to share in private.

"I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind"

It seems like we haven't been looking far enough into the past to find parallels to Taylor and Abigail's story, especially the artists Taylor has collaborated with. There are a couple of Ed Sheeran songs that seem to match their story, especially 'Lego house'. "I'm gonna paint you by numbers and colour you in. If things go right we can frame it and put you on a wall." The song describes a house similar to the lover house, and yet the music video feels like it could have been the music video for 'exile'. This combination reveals the dichotomy between the privacy Taylor and Abigail gained by having an authentic relationship in private in contrast to the loss of not being able to be together as a couple in public. And the music video deals with the repercussions that come from being hidden from view. Just like the 'anti hero' music video, Rupert Grint is living in exile with the ghosts of Ed Sheeran. He repeatedly tries to find Ed Sheeran, just like the concierge guy in red trying to reach Taylor in the 'delicate' music video, which is yet another reference to the Truman show. Does this reference to another version of the lover house imply that the lover house on the eras tour is where the shadow of Abigail resides? That sounds an awful lot like a mirrored version of the giant Taylor screaming for help...🪞

Music partners

"And will you still want me when I'm nothing new?"

Taylor created a studio in her home during lockdown, but this subtly implied that she's had one long before everyone else went into lockdown because they had already been living in an endless version lockdown. When it was announced that Taylor was going to have a duet on Gracie Abram’s album I was intrigued because it’s usually newer artists collaborating on Taylor’s album, not the other way around. It now seems like this was intentional to draw attention to how Gracie collaborated with her best friend Audrey as well as her role directing the music videos. It’s difficult to prove connections like these when Taylor isn’t directly involved, but having others sharing details of her story allow her to get closer to sharing the truth without drawing attention to the fact that the story is being repeated over and over again. When Truman finally leaves he ends with repeating his infamous catchphrase to demonstrate that he's been putting on a play within a play by mimicking everyone else's repetitive behaviour. The director is left with a look of disgust as he realises that Truman has been telling him the same story over and over and over again since the very beginning. Taylor has been doing the same thing, except the repetitiveness is harder to find.

"I've had to learn to say different versions of common phrases like "shake it off", "you need to calm down". Like, I've had to figure out how to not say puns of my own songs in conversation. I've gotten *sort of* good at it."

"Speak not tired tacky wench. Clean!"

Abigail's participation in Taylor's music videos and shows was a big step, but it was her surprise appearance during Taylor's interview with Ellen that really cemented her role as Taylor's best friend. It's likely that Abigail has been credited as a ghost writer over the years, if not all along. And perhaps the story about Dylan O’Brian playing the drum kit and William Bowery was the beginning of divulging Abigail’s involvement in the songwriting process. Acknowledging Joe using a pseudonym and thanking her boyfriends on stage are all part of the process of drawing attention to Taylor and Abigail's experience so that it's easier to understand when the truth is revealed. During an interview with Drew Barrymore and Jack Antonoff were discussing the Grammys. They were implying that they both felt shy around other artists in the same way that Abigail might have felt or appeared to be when she first went to the Grammys as Taylor’s date. They have so many people involved with describing Abigail's presence now, and they’ll keep repeating the story until it becomes obvious enough that the majority start to pick up on their behaviour. It's likely that any restrictions on Abigail being a collaborator ended when Taylor moved to her new record label and instead of revealing their experience to the public straight away, they've been sharing the pieces of the puzzle with us instead so they can dedicate their time to sharing their secrets and the lessons they've learned over the years with the new generation of artists.

Lucky numbers

"And she's laughing drawin' aces"

It's well known that 13 is Taylor’s lucky number. At one point she mentioned that it was the highlight of her life when she turned 31 on the 13th. But what if the numerology surrounding that number also reflects her love for Abigail? I’ve mentioned before that Taylor wearing this number on her hand could be a reference to W vs M muses and perhaps the 1 is also a reference to Abigail. There are two 13's on the wedding cake in the 'I bet you think about me' that add up to 26. If the number 26 is a red herring then it would actually be 13 + 31 = 44. 4/4 is Abigail's birthday and 4 + 4 = 8, which creates an infinity symbol. During the bejewelled music video the shell shaped watch said that “exile ends in 3, 2”. It was missing was the 1, but why? Number 1 is often associated with the letter A, which is often associated with the ace card. Taylor had an ace of spades in her hat during the 'I knew you were trouble' music video. This is typically seen as the highest ranking card in a standard 52 pack of cards, which suggests that Taylor is saving hers for the very end. ♠️ The number 1 is also known as uno in Spanish. UNO cards and products with the letter A are heavily featured at Questlove’s game nights. When you play a game of UNO you're supposed to yell out "knock, knock UNO!" when you're playing your second last card to let everyone else know that you're about to win. This gives the other players a chance to play their best hand in an attempt to prevent you from winning the game. This is exactly what happened every time Truman talked about wanting to go to Fiji ('Florida!!!'). The director was forced to respond by trying harder and harder to prevent Truman from leaving and unwittingly revealed his best hand each time he did so, allowing Truman to successfully plan his escape. So many of us have picked up on the signs that Taylor had plans to come out several times over the years and it's possible that she's been using this strategy to force her opponents to reveal their best hand, just like they did during the lover era. For lack of a better word, it's edging someone over and over again by saying "I'm going to do it! I'm going to do xyz!" over and over again and pulling out at the last minute. Counting down with "3,2" is implying that the next time it will be "3,2,1 blast off!" but never following through. And just like Truman left at the very end, Taylor and Abigail's story is going to end in the same way the 'Me!' music video did, with an explosion of rainbows. 🌋🌈

"Don’t you love a good puzzle?"

The black cat is one of the most notorious talismans associated with both the numbers 13 and 31. 🐈‍⬛ We already know how much Taylor loves Christmas and I wouldn't be surprised if Abigail loves halloween just as much. 'The nightmare before Christmas' is a combination of both seasonal celebrations in a halloween movie, just like 'how the grinch stole Christmas' is a combination of both seasonal celebrations in a Christmas movie. Taylor and Abigail's story is an amalgamation of millennial coded references but it always felt like there was one big piece of the puzzle missing. If it's a puzzle then what sort of puzzle is it? A jigsaw puzzle. 🧩 And if the Halloween theme is the missing link, then the missing piece of the puzzle is the jigsaw killer from the saw movies! 🪚 "I want to play a game. The rules are simple." The first movie features Adam and Dr Lawrence who wake up to find they've been chained up in a grungy bathroom. They're both given simple rules to follow that are designed to help them escape, but straying from the rules doesn't end well. "The jigsaw piece that I cut from my subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct." Following the rules and not straying from the directions sounds simple in theory, but it's proves to be a challenge when his victims stray from the directions thinking they can outsmart him. ☠️ The Truman show begins with the director describing his reasons for creating a show with Truman as the star 24/7. "We've become bored with watching actors give us phony emotions. We are tired of pyrotechnics and special effects." Taylor and Abigail have combined the elaborate puzzles and cryptic clues that the jigsaw killer had created with the strategy and facade that Truman had used to conceal his plan to escape into an extensive web of Easter eggs, pop culture references and cryptic riddles that span all the way back to the very beginning. 🕸 And just like the jigsaw killer was a mastermind and included himself in the game, Abigail’s reticent presence in a room full of celebrities as the ‘straight best friend’ automatically eliminated her as a possible suspect when searching for Taylor’s partner in crime. ♟

The key

“I wanna be your A team”

The woman behind the curtain may not be so hidden after all. Someone once called me a "Hidden Mickey Gaylor" and I couldn't think of a more accurate description to explain how I managed to follow the trail of breadcrumbs leading towards the gingerbread house. But the truth is that I relate to Taylor's music so much because I relate to Abigail's experience living in exile. I just reached the six month mark of being bed bound with severe ME and have felt exiled from my own life while I haven't been well enough to leave the house. It's impossible to comprehend the fact that I haven't left the house at all for half a year. The gaylor community, Taylor's music and the lore that surrounds it has been a source of comfort and respite from the loneliness at a time where I've never felt more alone.

"This way to the (Tennessee) whiskey?"

I understand that if I'm right about Taylor and Abigail's love story then everyone else has been wrong about Taylor's muse, but if I'm wrong then all of this has been wildly inappropriate. I'd highly recommend going back to the start and rereading this post again to get a better understanding of how all of these pieces of the puzzle fit together with more context. The benefit of putting together a puzzle that contains a cypher is that the message is unlocked when the pieces fit together correctly. The 'folklore long pond studio sessions' ends with a subtle joke about whiskey, but more specifically it felt like they were talking about Tennessee whiskey. Also, Taylor has used this combination of emojis with a black cat following the tabby cat a few times over the years. Together it feels like the Tennessee whiskey is a codename that is referencing the orange whiskers on a cat who lives in Tennessee. 🐈🐈‍⬛

Taylor is the tabby cat wearing her scarlet letter. 🧡

Abigail is the black cat hiding in the shadows. 🖤

And in private they're just two cowgirls. 🌈

"I have a lot of rules placed on my life

And I just choose not to apply rules to love."

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

P.S. My favourite colour is orange too 🧡

[haute-honey]

astrology opinions.

Reminder that these are just subjective opinions just like any other astrology observational post. If it don't apply, bye.

Someone having your sun sign as their moon is really not all that. The moon person tends to be playing pretend in front of the sun person. Very deceptive.

I saw someone describe Taurus placements as "sweet" and "innocent" lmfaooooooo Taurus is a sign that you don't want to fuck with or have them perceive you as being an enemy because they can be nuttier than squirrel shit. They aren't Joe from You. They are Brandy from A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. I feel like I've said this in another observation post but just want to reiterate because don't get it fucked up with these people they will end you. If fuck around and find out was an astrological sign. They are not afraid of being vindictive and conniving over what is "theirs".

Speaking of which, Water sign dominant femmes get waaaay too overrepresented for being the crazy jealous "my man my man my man" type of lovers when earth sign dominant femmes are just like them. Yes they may be slower to open up but once they do? Good luck trying to shake them. An earth sign woman/femme will go to the ends of the earth for their lover and if someone comes along and tries to threaten what they feel they've "built", they turn into eminem in love the way you lie part 2.

Virgo placements, its okay to be a nerd. Just don't be a loser. There is a difference. (This take is more directed towards the men/masculines w/ virgo placements.)

I have yet to see or witness a Scorpio sun be as mYstEriOus as yall claim they are.... they're usually the loudest hoe in the room.

If you want to know if a guy is interested in dating outside his race? Look for Gemini or Sagittarius placements in his big 6.

Saw a post that said people with venus in 2h/scorpio are usually the "other woman" or involved with people who are involved with others but get "chosen" in the end....

y'all really get on here and say ANYTHING. As a person with these placements, the most important things to me within a relationship are loyalty, attraction and stability. Can't get that out of a partner who is already in a committed relationship...

Having pretty privilege ≠ being a pick me (this ones for my girlies with prominent libra placements)

Every femme only wants to talk about how "seductive" and "sexy" it is to have prominent Lilith placements. We don't discuss enough how awful it is for your social life esp in relation to other women. In my experience as someone with Lilith in 1H, women either have weird jealous/envious energy towards me or they want me romantically/sexually. It sucks ngl.

Going back to women/femmes with prominent Libra placements/influence in their chart, I'm seeing a lot of bullshit about how they are within romantic relationships and in the dating world. This belief of them being "the other woman" is bullshit. They are not out to get your loser boyfriend. (This is from experience, I've had guys breakup with their gfs just to try to talk to me, ew.)

I think its a good thing air dominant people are so detached. The jealousy/envy/obsession they attract needs to be studied. Work on protecting yourselves from evil eye.

Stop infantilizing cap moons please. Their biggest enemy are themselves for their unwillingness to be emotional or express emotion. You cannot establish healthy relationships with others and be emotion-phobic at the same time. Esp if you're a grown ass adult, you need to work on your emotional maturity and stop using your upbringing as an excuse to continue emotionally abusive and neglectful cycles.

Speaking of caps, Saturn ruled people (aquarius and capricorn dominant people) need to understand and accept that they are here to do incredible things. The more you try to assimilate to what everyone else is doing, the more you try to blend in the more Saturn is gonna beat your ass. Go big or go home bitch.

I noticed people who have issues with their emotional wellbeing (either too sensitive or emotionally inept) have their moon in a sign that is generally incompatible with their sun sign. (For ex. Aries sun with a Capricorn moon). Gotta work extra hard to learn and understand who you are emotionally.

Anyways that's all... for now.

[meimi-haneoka]

I'm going to randomly copy and paste some musings I wrote on my private account on Twitter, cause I find it kinda amusing and I want to share it here too :3

"The moon is really beautiful, isn't it?"

"Because it's something about you, Akiho-san."

Kaito's behavior in the special chapter might appear "new" and sudden, but he's actually always been throwing "bombs" at Akiho, exposing his feelings just like it was the most natural and normal thing. 🤭❤️ The only difference is that now he understands what those feelings are 😁

Like, I can totally expect that one day in the future he'll just go "One day, when we'll be married..." completely out of nowhere while they're chatting & having dinner and Akiho will struggle to not choke on her plate 😂😂😂 Yeah, somehow I don't see very flashy kind of proposals from either of them, probably cause they've been through enough "out of ordinary" shit that normal and comforting is what makes their heart beat the fastest, and makes them the happiest ❤️

In this regard, I'll say once again that Kaito totally reminds me of Sakura. The way they can just blurt out their feelings in such a nonchalant, almost naive way, while not fully understanding what they are. Here Sakura is basically doing the same thing Kaito did throughout Clear Card! Saying stuff like that ☝️ and yet not understanding that she was falling in love with him herself. 😁

The nonchalant way in which Sakura and Kaito's feelings surface makes people misunderstand them for "friendship" or common affection, throughout their respective arcs. Like, I can't count how many times I've seen people say they didn't understand when Sakura started to fall in love with Syaoran, and that the realization at the end felt too sudden. It's because, as usual with Clamp, you have to pay attention to what they're NOT spelling out. That's what happened with Kaito too. 🤷‍♀️ People couldn't see that he's been literally spelling out his feelings himself since long time (that's why Momo got mad! Like "how can you say something like that and not REALIZE IT??"), they got sidetracked by the idea he was a villain (and therefore just manipulating and using her), and then by his relationship with Lilie (all stuff Clamp did on purpose, mind you, cause it was too soon for you to be sure of it yet). It's been clear for a long time, but in their Spaces lately CLAMP reiterated how they love to keep their readers guessing and on their toes till the end, so in my opinion they won't hesitate to try to sidetrack you a little bit along the way (but if you stick closely, you'll understand what's the real deal). I guess with Sakura they tried to sidetrack with her crush on Yukito. 😁

So yeah, I've been saying multiple times during the serialization how those two gave me such a similar vibe (and that maybe helped Sakura empathize with him).

Akiho is quite straightforward too, especially after she found her own confidence and voice, but I was just thinking that Syaoran is quite the opposite instead, he's very conscious of his feelings and even in Clear Card, he had to prepare himself days in advance before managing to ask Sakura, stuttering and all, for a date himself 😂 Thankfully, at the end of the special chapter he was able to make his own romantic statements without getting too flustered 😆 (at long last, after 2 years of dating! 😂)

[lunar-years]

Ngl when I see ppl shipping Jamie and Dr. O'Sullivan I think they're at least a little homophobic and very straight.

well, i disagree with a blanket accusation of homophobia, but I do think it's an opinion that holds a very ~straight appeal~, definitely, lol.

there are honestly a boat load of reasons i hate it but they boil down to:

i kind of get why people (esp. a segment of the general audience) might be attracted to it because it's soooo something (bad) shows/sitcoms would do. Like, my god is it TRITE. Predictable, formulaic...boring as all hell! Of course he's going to get with the nameless sister who has less than five minutes total of screen time, just for a little added spice and drama, sure. That's what happens in (bad) shows. But luckily for the rest of us, Ted Lasso even at its worst is not that brand of bad, lol.

it's completely baseless? Nothing wrong with a baseless ship i guess, but at the same time...literally why this one? lol. Like, Jamie and Roy's sister share one scene together in which I don't believe they even say anything to one another directly? There is no chemistry, no...anything? The entire premise for the ship seems to be Jamie telling Roy his sister is hot. Which was very clearly intended as a way for Jamie to get under Roy's skin. Nothing about the scene makes me want to see those two dating.

the big proponents of it i've seen (often, definitely not always) seem to fit into one of two categories 1) people who don't really like Jamie and/or are upset Jamie "got in the way" of their ship, and thus want him to be written into a corner that pulls him away from their preferred couple/inherently shuffles up their dynamic. they don't actually care to watch a plot between Jamie & Roy's sister, they just want Jamie firmly categorized as Taken and thus Not Interested in Roy and/or Keeley, and this is a convenient and predictable(y stupid) way to do it. lol.

OR 2) people who DO really like Jamie and in fact really like Roy & Jamie, but in a very "no homo" way, who want to see more of their dynamic and have a way to define/further explore their closeness, whilst also justifying their own enjoyment of it, that's well set apart from "they have homoerotic tension." Jamie & Roy's sister dating holds an appeal because it more explicitly puts their relationship into firm "brotherly" territory. And I unabashedly loathe that for the same reason i loathe "Roy is Jamie's father figure!" ...foremost because no really, they can just be best friends!! Even if you do not want to ship roy-jamie romantically, you do not need to slap different familial labels on them (or put them into random other pairings) to make their relationship "more." Their relationship is already "more"...they are canonically best friends!! idk if I'm explaining this in the best way but the mindset behind it often feels very rooted in ~the nuclear family is the most important relationship a person can achieve~ and thus a need to fit everyone into traditional family roles (and in some cases that PLUS blatant homophobia) and it gives me a personal ick. Ew.

If you want to see quirky jamie & phoebe antics or roy and jamie bickering, Jamie x Roy's sister getting it on is in fact not actually necessary for any of that? (and imo doesn't add anything to anyone's arc) Going back to point one...using that pairing to get there feels TO ME very boring and sitcom cartoony.

(i also obviously dislike it for my personal shippy reasons and must acknowledge my bias. 🫡 Jamie dating his best friend's sister when he clearly has a crush on said best friend is a relationship-based mental low point/cry for help i do not actually want him to go through as my fav character, LOL.)

(disclaimer: people can of course feel differently and are entitled to ship whoever they want without even needing a clear reason or explanation! that's totally valid! i want to reiterate I don't think it's inherently problematic as a ship. I just personally think it's a rotten tomato of a plot point and i'm so beyond glad the show didn't waste time entertaining it.)

[nightswithkookmin]

Okay time out

I'm reading through the comments on my last post and some of yall are wilding in there losing the whole entire plot👁👄👁

Please watch your language. I don't want to make space for anyone's hate and vitriol towards anyone. If you've been in the Fandom for more than a month you'd know Kim Taehyung is not a bad person at all. He's not. A little nuts sure but bad???? Cmon now.

If you hate him or anyone in bts this is not the space for it.

What I want is to hold space for anyone who feels disillusioned and jaded by the whole vmin situation. In case that intention didn't come through lemme reiterate. WE DON'T HATE TAEHYUNG ON THIS CORNER OF THE INTERNET.

You can talk about being disillusioned with Jikook and how you think things are not the same with them and I'll make space for that. Similarly you can talk about vmin or any ship for that matter and express your opinions about their dynamic and I'll hold space for that.

But please don't hate on nobody😔

Vmin have one of the best enviable friendships in all of Kpop. We love to see that sort of genuine love. It's healing, it's beautiful. Love in and of itself is a beautiful thing and we love to celebrate that.

And for me it's really hard to think of Kim Taehyung, the guy who threw a producer under the bus for preventing him from featuring Jimin on his song because he thought it was gay, same guy who saves fan art and recommends them to Jimin- there is a trail of moon on JMs back all thanks to Tae, when Jimin dropped Vibe he shared it to his story, he liked the post, he was commenting and interacting on JMs posts- when JK was silent as well. He even said he had saves a video of JM he was going to post on Jms birthday!

How is this person then a bad person at all. I don't understand. Can we talk about this one mishap without rubbishing and invalidating all the love effort and consideration he's shown towards Jimin up until now?

Do I think he could have done more to support JM, I do. Simply because he's done it in the past. He stayed up with us to watch Vibe when it dropped!

I'm just mad at him for staying quiet and leaving fans to do all the heavy lifting when he, JK, Suga are one of the biggest PJMs on earth. I'm hurt, I'm disappointed, and yes I'm crying my eyes out over here cos everything that has happened over JMs release overwhelms me.

Or maybe I'm too much of a romantic and I keep wandering back to moments of JM running to him and comforting him and promising he'll take responsibility for him. I keep wandering back to them talking about how much they protected eachother from bullies and I hoped he would lead the chorus and stand up for Jimin this time around too.

vmin are not perfect. They have their issues. But they also have one of the best relationship dynamics in kpop. Yet I feel I can't even vent out the frustration I feel over this, over the gradual decline of their ship, Bangtan friendship, or even express my insecurities over vmin without being overly cautious so as not to enable their antis and it's so frustrating.

We can't tell them how to love eachother. We can't do that. And there's always a possibility they know something we do not know. He's closer to JM than you and I. For all you know, he isn't even aware how these things affect his own fans who support him with Jimin.

This is something Jimin is constantly aware of and is good at- self awareness- but when it comes to Jungkook and Taehyung not so much.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go back to pouting cos Tae sucks. He can step on leggos

I'm open to hearing theories about why you think he didn't say anything about Face.

No, it's not because he hates Jimin 🤺

Do you think it's because JM chose JK to do letters with and not him?🤔

Jk didn't say anything bout Vibe either and when he decided to sing that song he only knew JMs part💀🤧

Either way, he needs to make this right else I'm sending poop emojis on his next live💩

[spiderwarden]

#spiderwarden. an independent & selective Minthara Baenre from Larian's B.aldur's Gate 3. while canon strict, some parts will be sculpted to personal rp experience and headcanons taken from canon actions and psychological reactions. this blog is multiverse & Tav friendly. selectively available for romantic shipping.

this blog uses beta editor only. 21+ with darker themes presents such as: gore, blood, violence, unapologetic acceptance of warrior culture, & heavily themed around fantasy religion, SPIDERS. do not follow if you are sensitive. ( written by Melody, 30. )

Applicable to Bhaal Resisting Dark Urges, if Interested in Romanced Minthara.

RULES: READ THEM.

Writer/Disclaimer. I'm Melody, I'm in my 30s and I was born and raised in the United States, I am in the MDT and I am proud of my heritage for many reasons. I will not state what that is here because this is a fantasy writing blog, not a personal blog. To start things off, I am absolutely capable of being an asshole. My experience in life has gotten me to bear a fair bit of unpopular opinions that will likely ruffle some feathers around these parts of Tumblr, but I have worked on my own temperament to reflect the extreme importance of respect, civility and communication, and so I practice them all commonly. When I reach the limits of 'old and tired', I may sound harsh and incredibly salty, but I promise that I am always open to discussion. It's a healthy thing, after all.

Forget all about fanon. Before anything else, I cannot iterate how desperately I urge you to forget any and all fanon takes tied to the character that I write. I do not adhere to 98% of the fandom's takes on any of them. But it's important to reiterate that I am exceedingly canon-strict, which means that, well, apparently fanon and I are simply meant to disagree on the daily. It's a common enough thing with me it seems. If there's anything that tickles your curiosity, then please know that I'm always more than happy to answer any questions, even on anonymous as I fully intend to leave the option open.

Shipping/Romance. Minthara is a very ‘sex first, romance later’ sort of woman, it’s not hard to get into her pants. However staying there requires some build up before entering into a fully romantic inclined dynamic, you may plot with me or send romantic memes or indulge in the random character interaction.

Social Politics/etc. This is incredibly simple: your mess is your mess and it is not mine. Take it to the dashboard and I will unfollow you. I'm too old and too tired for this, I don't do and have never done call-out culture, I don't do anon-hate, I don't do pettiness, I don’t do DNIs, or guilt-tripping and quite frankly, I have zero interest in seeing people take advantage of having an audience of followers to air any kind of dirty laundry in front of. I'm simply not here for it. In other words, I will unfollow you. And also, as it's happened in the past— I do not and will not engage in white-knighting of any kind whatsoever, and this rule counts, again, regardless of my connection with you

Special note: please take a peek at my theme just because a friend made it for me and it makes me happy.

MORE TBD.

[transdragonlira]

I normally don't have that much of a strong negative opinion on most things but sometimes there is a single fucking thing about something that can just RUIN the entire thing for me. And you know sometimes is just a thing where it's like. Yeah this is just something minor that's just a deal-breaker for me, like Scrub's blatant transphobia, Hazbin hotel's bad comedic timing or Seinfeld's/Friend's (and many more sitcoms) reliance on second hand embarrassment. I can see why people like the show and can appreciate the parts that aren't the deal-breaker for me (even though I still wouldn't watch the show as a whole).

But sometimes, oh sometimes there is that one aspect of something that is just. SO OFFENSIVELY TERRIBLE that the entire thing is just completely tainted for me. And by god, Neons White's ending is exactly that. If the game didn't have this ending I would say that it is like a 5/10 game. It tries to do something, and it sorta succeeds, but at the same time all the enemies and the level start to very easily blend together and the game forces you into a very specific playstyle. HOWEVER, BECAUSE OF THAT DAMNED ENDING, I AM NOW OF THE OPINION THAT NEON WHITE IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST GAME I'VE EVER TOUCHED.

For the next paragraph: spoiler warning for the ending for neon white. You shouldn't be scared to read further because it's so bad you'll be glad I spoiled it so you won't be disappointed as much.

It's hard to illustrate just how utterly abysmal the ending for neon white is because a big reason as to why it fails is because of the buildup along the entire game. Basically from the moment you start up the game there is just this theme of forgiveness. Like it's reiterated time and time again to the point where it actively begins to annoy you. And it's like obvious that this is foreshadowing for later. We have to forgive someone later on, yeah no biggie. So then I start playing through the game, and like. The story starts out awfully mediocre. Like run of the mill romantic dating sim mediocre. But then the story escalates and tbh, it had me intrigued at that point. It was my main driver to continue playing as the gameplay loop got pretty stale. The secrets were often just tedious to find, so even though the secret levels were cool, it was not worth grinding through all the levels to find them all. The story continues and it keeps reiterating that, oh yeah! Remember kids! Forgiving people is important! Remember to forgive! This will be on the quiz later!

And then you finally get to the ending. There's like a climatic bossfight against the main villain. And then you beat him but then uh oh! Plot twist! You now have to face a choice! You can either NOT forgive, or forgive your rival! What a goddamn surprise. /s. BUT UH OH! REMEMBER ALL THOSE SECRET LEVELS YOU DIDNT DO BECAUSE THEY WERE TEDIOUS AS ALL HELL TO UNLOCK? Well as it turns out, you need to have beaten those levels to unlock the option to forgive your rival! And it's not like the game could have just given you the bad ending, oh no no no, that would have been far too kind for this game. This game tempts you with the option to forgive, only to spit in your face and cross out the OBVIOUSLY CORRECT OPTION.

Jesus motherfucking Christ. The feeling of disgust that ran through me when I begrudgingly selected the bad option because I had no other choice and wow! The bad ending is bad! And very unsatisfactory! Who would've guessed. After that I immediately uninstalled the game because I am not about to grind for the true ending (if there's anything that can make me hate a game if it's grindy)

So yeah! My last impression about the game was the absolute worst part of the game! Now this game is my absolute most hated game of all time. Don't insult your own fucking players kids, you'll seriously piss some people off.

[athousandbyeol]

discussion #3 (a boss and a babe): guncher's first kiss: a moment of fragility (like dancing on eggshells)

i'm watching a boss and a babe again from the first episode, and i'm closely looking at their first kiss in ep 2. the more i watch it, the more i realise they're like dancing on eggshells. but oddly, no one suffers an injury. in fact, i believe, this moment is the start of their romantic relationship.

so, the last part of ep 2 is them eating cher's signature noodles in cher's dorm (quoted from cher: when it's cold, nothing beats a bowl of hot noodles). they're having fun and gun is smiling a lot (he does this often when cher's around).

then, the scene shifts from the dining table to them standing on the balcony, looking at the rain together.

this frame particularly shows the distance between them slowly disappearing. at this point, we know gun doesn't like skinship with strangers— but cher isn't a stranger. not just an intern too. in ep 2 part 2, the moment cher confronted gun after the boss discovered thyme's plan on launching the game they worked on together, gun didn't see cher as an intern anymore. more like a friend he never had.

then, the scene progresses to gun asking if cher knows about thyme. and gun goes completely honest (something he doesn't do to anyone else, i believe. aside from porsche, that is).

i'm taking this opportunity to express how i like gun's character being written. he has everything. he's a CEO at a young age, drives an expensive european sports car, rich rich— he can basically get everything he wants. but gun isn't that. he's just a guy who likes games and wants to build an empire with his best friend. yet, something happened and he lost that precious thing in his life— a friend. someone he can rely on— because generally, we know gun's mother doesn't quite get him.

how lonely gun must have felt all these years? he's successful, but he isn't happy. and it's crazier to think how gun lets his thoughts free with cher, a person he just met. the amount of trust he harbours in cher is quite heartbreaking, in my opinion.

in ep 1 & 2 respectively, you can see how gun constantly tries to pull himself back whenever he starts opening to cher. he even asks himself, "why am i always giving in to you, cher?" he doesn't want to commit. he doesn't want to open up and offer his heart to anyone anymore. he's afraid that people he loves will leave him again (point proven in ep 11 when gun said to porsche: i can't keep anyone in my life. they keep leaving.)

i believe, the answer is already said by cher himself; "i don't know what kind of environment you've been surrounded by." it is gun's environment. no one seems to understand him. not even his mother.

after gun says this, cher reiterates;

it's so sweet of cher to always comfort gun with words. gun might've never heard anyone say things like these to him. (the fact his workers can openly talk behind his back when he's basically their boss strengthens the fact gun is a bit too selfless and kind).

cher knows when gun is sad and when he needs company. this part sweetly shows both of them are selfless (idiots) and they're willing to go to an EXTREME extent for each other. their selflessness somehow backfires (in ep 9; their first fight, and ep 11; their temporary separation) but i won't get into details in this post.

gun has a small (yet sad) smile on his face after cher said that.

followed by this expression;

in gun's head, he knows he doesn't deserve this. he's self-destructing, but it's always quiet. it's always alone. even though cher is in front of him, the facade doesn't crack. the walls don't break. gun is just afraid to show that vulnerable side of him, although cher is always open to accepting gun as he is. he doesn't know if cher can ever accept him as he is— as his truest self.

then, the mood shifts into something lighter— almost flirtatious. yet, they're still standing on this thin line. they're still from two different worlds. but they're getting closer. they're slowly coming together.

as of ep 2, we know these two CAN'T stand losing. and they constantly challenge each other (gun challenging cher to call him every night until he's bored of it; cher challenging gun to kiss him). it's fun to see this flirty push-and-pull, knowing too well both of them are losers in the end.

basic cher, he then says this,

i personally think cher is just being his fun/teasing self in this. he has no intention of really getting a kiss from gun.

interestingly, gun joins the fun;

gun sees this as a challenge too. for gun, it's fun getting on cher's nerves. but do keep in mind that gun might've developed a certain feeling for cher prior to this moment. it isn't love (not yet, but it'll change after this).

the tension builds up the moment gun inches closer, subtly reeling cher in. and cher doesn't back away— that's not who cher is.

that smug smile, the are you seriously challenging me now, boss? expression excites not only cher, but gun too.

and they kiss.

notice how gun doesn't really kiss cher full on the lips? he kisses the corner of cher's mouth. this is a challenge. he's teasing cher. gun believes he will win this.

but little does gun know...

funnily, in ep 3, we can see how out of control cher has become as he succumbs to gun's orders (i guess it happens almost naturally.) words really bite cher back but we won't cover that in this post hahaha

gun is stunned. we can see the change of expression; the way his eyes darken, the way he's so focused on everything cher is saying/doing.

i believe, this is the moment— this is when gun knows cher is something else, and he likes this something else.

and cher pulls gun again for a kiss.

there are many gifsets of their first kiss. from there, you can see how tender this moment is— how careful they are in crossing the line.

i think the scene is executed beautifully. these two souls are meeting in the middle, shedding all barriers they have in this moment of matrimony. this first kiss transcends every affirmation, every budding feeling in their hearts (mainly gun) as they settle into this juncture of understanding.

the way cher keeps pulling gun in. the way gun wraps his hands around cher's waist and shoulders, wanting him closer, is so tenderly expressed. this is a fragile space they're entering, but they're still so careful. feelings heighten, yet, still on a surface level.

don't they look like they're dancing?

and there's no distance between them. not anymore. their worlds have finally collided.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Atsushi for the ask game.

ATSUSHI HERE WE GO THANK YOU FOR HEARING MY PRAYERS

Favorite thing about them: HIS SELFISHNESS. It's so so delicious to explore. Can you imagine a protagonist that saves others not out of simple good will, but because of egoistic self-preservation motives? It just feels counterintuitive for me lmao, and I found it quite messed up when I first watched the anime, but now it's so compelling to explore. His whole “everything I do is in order to gain the right to live” is crazy fashinating. Because lol, that's entirely nonsensical to me! There's no such thing as “gaining the right to live”; all humans, every person in the world is inherently deserving of life. All. No exception. So there's no level of “weak” or “worthless” that would make you lose that right. The fact that's it's a vision so distant and absurd from mine, idk, it just makes it very compelling to explore? “What if there was a little fucked up guy who believed the right to live had to be earned” just sounds like a very interesting premise.

Least favorite thing about them: When I first watched the anime, I think I found him low-key annoying? I just... Don't do very well with self-deprecating people and people who complain a lot in general, I usually suffer in silence and tend to (wrongly) assume others should do the same (this probably makes me sound pretty mean, I swear I try to be understanding irl). However, it doesn't bother me as much anymore, I simply think it's more of a distinctive trait of the character that makes him multilayered and unique. As of now, I can't think of anything I don't like about him if not the fact that I wish he'd rely on Dazai and others in general a little less. I know that has to do with his lack of self-worth, so maybe it makes sense,, but as of now he feels kind of stuck. I just wish we'd see him grow more on that front.

Favorite line:

There may be better ones, but I really like the delivery of this one.

brOTP: KYOUKA AND ATSUSHI they make me go insane. Already talked about this in the Kyouka post but just to reiterate: in my headcanon Kyouka really is the only person Atsushi feels genuine, selfless affection towards. It's very sweet. They're siblings. Kyouka's happiness is really important for Atsushi. They really do have that feeling of people who got out of an abusive environment learning what normality is supposed to be like together. I also really like how they compensate for what the other lacks, be it decisiveness and coolhead for Atsushi and empathy and positivity for Kyouka. Although plenty shipping them romantically, I really like platonic sskk and atsulucy as well.

OTP: I really like sskk eheh. I think they're neat. There's a thousand and one reasons why I find them pretty great. They're objectively the only reason why I got invested in bsd as well as the only thing that has me keep up with the franchise to this day. Right now, I feel like the one thing I really appreciate about them is how you can be the worst person in the universe and still somehow be loveable to someone. I think it's sweet. I also find it very fun and enterataining to explore their various soulmatism antics. They're both very complex and multilayered characters with something deeply wrong with how their minds work that makes them very fun to analyze both by their own and in the complexity of their relationship. Their collective story arc and canon relationship progression is extremely engaging and nice to follow, too. I love dazatsu and atsulucy as well!! Both were ships I wasn't particularly invested when I read the manga for the first time, but really grew in me in the last six months or so. I really dig akuatsulucy as well!!

nOTP: Nothing?

Random headcanon: He really likes reading. There's some real meta-analysis to be made here I actually had written this is probably not the right place to talk about, but in a work that's all about literature, he's the character who reads.

Unpopular opinion: He's the hardest character to write / characterize. That's why people should probably go easier on other fans when they mischaracterize him. He's just very multifaceted and genuinely hard to get. I keep seeing people being like “Stop babyfying Atsushi he's an independent adult!!” then turn around to say “he can't be shipped with Dazai because there's too much unbalance of power :// [somewhat implying Atsushi can't make free decisions for himself]”, or “Stop making of Atsushi a soft baby who never did wrong in his life!!!” then turn around to say “Atsushi is the happy puppy of the agency who gets treats and pats from everyone ^^ ” like. At least to me, a lot of people's arguments sound self-contradictory all the time; but that doesn't mean people should stop having fun and characterize the characters as they like! Just, let's stop being mean to each other and try to be a little more accepting towards others' takes, shall we? And yes that also includes letting people find Atsushi annoying if they find him annoying (although like, I've NEVER found anyone call Atsushi annoying ever, so really, what remote fandom spaces is everyone visiting? Why are you looking for clothes (good takes) at the soup store (Tik/tok I assume?) ).

Song i associate with them: Common World Domination by Pinocchio-P, HIBANA by DECO*27, Ghost Rule by DECO*27, so on and so forth.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration: Look, there's too many beautiful illustrations, I can't chose. Here's a very good one though.

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

But also:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: Four Weekends and a Funeral by Ellie Palmer

3/5. Releases 8/6/24.

Vibes: health condition rep, losing the idea of the life you thought you had, 90s romcoms

Heat Index: 2/10

Alison's life changed forever upon the discovery that she carries the BRCA 1 gene, which makes her much more likely to develop breast cancer (as well as uterine and ovarian cancer). After having a preventative double mastectomy, she finds herself at the funeral of her ex-boyfriend, who died suddenly. Extra problem: his family didn't know about the breakup, which results in Alison going along with the confusion. Somewhat unintentionally! For the next four weekends, she'll have to pitch in on packing up Sam's apartment... with his grouchy best friend, Adam. Who doesn't buy her story one bit.

I... don't really know how to feel about this one. I'm giving it three stars in recognition of solid writing and representation of important issues. It plays with some fun 90s romcoms (While You Were Sleeping and Four Weddings and a Funeral obviously come to mind). But I found that it read a lot more like women's fiction than a romance. I see a lot of Emily Henry comparisons, and I do agree with them; and that's a good thing for Ellie Palmer! Unfortunately, I'm not an Emily Henry girl. So I'd recommend this to those who are, but for me... It's not quite right.

I will say though, to those interested--if you have medical or health anxiety, this may be somewhat triggering. Ellie Palmer is open about having the BRCA 1 gene, and this definitely reads as a personal book, which I appreciate.

This is also a closed door novel--nothing on the page, allusions otherwise. While I get it, and it's always every author's right to do whatever they need to do... A part of me feels like it could have been powerful to read Alison and Adam's experience together on the page. I think of a very different novel I read in which the heroine had a mastectomy (without reconstruction). You see sex on the page in that book, and I found it rather impactful.

But again, I feel, like that's totally up to Ellie, and I get why she wouldn't want to.

To reiterate--I think this would be a good fit for you if you like Emily Henry and enjoy a softer romance that's funny without taking away a serious edge. It was too much of an individual journey versus a romantic journey for me. But it will work for a lot of people.

Thanks to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam's Sons for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[iniziare]

Writer/Disclaimer. I'm Sae, I'm in my 30s and while I was born and raised in Rotterdam, in the Netherlands, I currently live in France, which places me in the GMT+1 timezone. I'm a proud Frenchie in both heart and mind, and I'm your typical INTJ in behavior. My experience in life has gotten me to bear a fair bit of unpopular opinions that will likely ruffle some feathers around these parts of Tumblr, but I have always been taught the extreme importance of respect, civility and communication, and so I practice them all commonly. When I reach the limits of 'old and tired', I may sound harsh and incredibly salty, but I promise that I am always open to discussion. It's a healthy thing, after all.

Forget all about fanon. Before anything else, I cannot iterate how desperately I urge you to forget any and all fanon takes tied to the character that I write. I do not adhere to 98% of the fandom's takes on any of them. But it's important to reiterate that I am exceedingly canon-strict, which means that, well, apparently fanon and I are simply meant to disagree on the daily. It's a consistent thing with me it seems. Each of my muse pages will include a section/overview that talks of the biggest 'divergences' from fanon as to make it a little easier. But all in all, if you leave everything that you've read and seen on X, TikTok, and even often in other portrayals on Tumblr, at the door, then you're generally best prepared! And if there's anything that tickles your curiosity, then please know that I'm always more than happy to answer any questions, even on anonymous as I fully intend to leave the option open.

Shipping/Romance. I'm exceedingly particular about ships, and quite honestly, while I write my own fair share of romance-oriented threads and love to do so, I don't go out of my way to seek people out specifically for that reason. In that vein, it's important to note a couple of things:

Don't assume that I ship popular pairings for my muses, there are some that I do and some that I don't, but, as I stated in my previous point, I often don't see eye to eye with fanon on anything, which includes how characters are often portrayed in romantic dynamics. But again, simply message me! I promise I'll do my best to wrecking ball any anxiety through the wall ASAP.

I need build-up like I need air in my lungs. I can't and won't skip it. I can talk at length about what a ship could look like in the future, and hypothesize about scenarios, but only with active engagement. I don't necessarily need to always stick to development in any kind of chronological order, as I can write multiple threads at different moments in timelines, but I need active engagement, whether that's through IC asks, or even talking about them in DMs. Just, something.  

Interested in shipping but you're not sure if I already write it? Check the individual muse pages in my pinned, they will be noted there! Is it not listed and you're curious? Honestly, simply message me, I promise you that I don't bite. And if you don't know how to start the message, simply talk to me about your favorite type of chocolate and we'll go from there. ;)

Social Politics/etc. This is incredibly simple: your mess is your mess and it is not mine. Take it to the dashboard and I will unfollow you. I'm too old and too tired for this, I don't do and have never done call-out culture, I don't do anon-hate, I don't do pettiness, or guilt-tripping and quite frankly, I have zero interest in seeing people take advantage of having an audience of followers to air any kind of dirty laundry in front of. I'm simply not here for it. In other words, I will unfollow you. And also, as it's happened in the past— I do not and will not engage in white-knighting of any kind whatsoever, and this rule counts, again, regardless of my connection with you.

[willel]

If I remember correctly you do not exactly ship Byler, right?

If you feel free to talk about this topic, I wanted to ask you something as a non-shipper; would you be okay with Will having a new boyfriend (even if we'll see Will and his boyfriend for a couple of episodes), or would you want him to just get over Mike but ultimately just be happy about himself and accepting himself?

I do not consider Byler possibly happening because i do not think it is going to. That's why I am just asking your opinion without including Byler as a possibility.

Ye, I don't ship any of the ships, though I make some exceptions for Jopper and a bit of Jancy. Now Lumax. Even with those, if they didn't end up together, I would not be bothered so you can see why I'm not sure if I can really call myself a shipper.

At the end of the day, I want these characters to be happy. I want them to feel personally fulfilled. I want them to feel accomplished and self assured. I don't want their happiness to depend on another person being with them romantically. I want them to have achieved SOME happiness, even if it's not ALL the happiness.

I, as a person, do not view having a romantic relationship as the end all be all of happiness. Even for characters whose entire story is about romance, I think there is more to be said about the other things they succeed in doing whether they "get the girl" (or boy) or not.

It doesn't matter to me if Will gets a boyfriend. It doesn't matter to me if El keeps a boyfriend. The "boyfriend" is just one possibility for their happiness, not the ultimate solution. In fact, it's such a tiny fraction that people decide to hone in on for some reason.

What I'm looking for is for Will to feel like he isn't a mistake. For him to feel safe telling his loved ones who he really is. (really hoping for Joyce in this case) For him to not be the third-wheel friend. For him to feel confident to speak his mind sooner before he explodes like he tends to do. I want him to feel like he's someone's first priority in a good way whether it's platonic or romantic. I want him to realize he can keep his old friends AND make new ones, he doesn't have to subject himself to this harsh loneliness.

As I stated in the past, I have no idea what the hell the writers are doing with the Byler/Mileven plot line and I think they already screwed it up beyond repair so I care about it even less now. To me, it looks nothing more than potential teenage drama Teen Wolf style or something. Or should I saw Twilight. Whichever is worse. Not necessarily because that's how it's written, but because of how it's been perceived by the fandom and how everyone has been behaving.

Will's story arc about his sexuality and slowly coming to terms with what he thinks is his place in the world is sad and so very interesting. Not to mention how this supernatural plot is wrapped up in his personal growth and trauma. The actual romantic part of it? Eh.... doesn't pull me. (and neither does El's lovelife)

Having read all that, I'm sure you and others can understand why a lot of people support something like Byler whether it happens or not, but also why there are plenty of other gateways that can lead to Will's happiness that can or won't include another guy. I don't know which is more likely.

I have no idea what the writers are doing with this dumb love triangle bonanza and I could've lived my life without it. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not looking forward to the conclusion. I just know when season 5 hits, I will be blocking all the ship tags. My opinion doesn't matter at all. No ones does except the writing team and their whiteboard.

I'd like to leave off with this. Something I like to reiterate on all posts like this. CANON DOESN'T MATTER. If you ship a ship, then ship it. It's your business and no one else. No one can tell you what to like. There is no law on the books that you can only ship canon. I ship one of the biggest non-canon ships in history probably and we're chill and minding our own business even with canon people constantly spamming us or stealing our content for themselves.

So I'm just sayin', whatever side of this silly war you are on, you'll be way better off not bothering the other side and enjoying your own ship to the very end.