#regular players: ooh hes so evil hes so evil! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

somerandr · 4 years ago

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royalty

Maddie lets out another dramatic sigh, huffing a little when Sophie and Jack both ignore her in favor of oohing and ahhing over the stories Lizzie has begun meticulously typing out and collecting in a leather bound binder. On one hand, Maddie gets their distraction. Her brother-in-law had never quite seen Lizzie the same way Maddie does, always knowing her as the big sister he couldn’t ever really relate to, the big sister he tended to see more as a parental figure than a sibling, creating an insurmountable distance between them. And her best friend just likes to be annoying—a talent of hers since they were in middle school.

On the other hand, Maddie has something to get off her chest and, dammit, she needs Sophie and Jack to pay attention.

She sighs again, louder this time, placing her mug of coffee on the table with a little more force than strictly necessary. It has its desired effect: Sophie looks up in concern, clearly thinking Maddie has dropped the mug, and Jack moves as if to act as Maddie’s support beam.

(The first few weeks of this sort of behavior from her best friend and her brother-in-law had been frustrating and grated on her nerves. But now she appreciates that they’re here, sitting with her, acting as de facto babysitters while Lizzie is out.

To be perfectly honest, Maddie appreciates not being alone.)

“What’s up, Maddie Bear?” Sophie asks, head tilted to the side as she closes the binder with a satisfying thump. “Annoyed we’re more interested in the stories than you?”

“First of all, as if anything could be more interesting than me,” Maddie says with a faux self-aggrandizing air. “Secondly, don’t call me that. We’re not in high school anymore.”

“It’s always like high school when I’m with you, Mads,” Sophie sings, shoving Jack aside and wrapping her arms around Maddie’s shoulders, giving her an awkward hug from the side. “But seriously, what’s up?”

Now that Sophie and Jack are looking at her patiently, but expectantly, Maddie feels her mouth go dry. She doesn’t want to admit this to them, doesn’t want to show them that it bothers her—and yet, she needs to tell someone or she thinks she’ll combust.

“Evie called,” she mumbles after several beats, looking down at her hands. She feels Sophie drop her arms and pull back, and though she doesn’t look, she knows Sophie and Jack are wearing identical expressions of a mixture of disgust and anger.

“What’s Evil doing calling you?” Sophie hisses, and when Maddie looks up at her, her arms are crossed tightly over her chest, lips pressed into a thin line. Jack, on the other hand, looks like he’s turned to stone, unable to move at all.

“Apparently, she heard the news about me. Wanted to make sure she um, expressed her sadness,” Maddie mumbles, using air quotes around the latter part of her comment, still thinking about the sickly-sweet voice of Evie Cummings and how much she wishes she could have reached through the phone and punched Evie in her perfectly made up face. “She told me I didn’t need to worry about Elizabeth.”

(This is what’s got her so mad, not the fact that Evie called, but that she figured it would be okay to slowly explain to Maddie that Lizzie would be taken care of, ‘in cough cough, the worst kind of situation.’

Maddie’s not jealous.

At least, she doesn’t think so.)

“I don’t understand this whole staying friends with the ex thing,” Jack says, running his fingers through his hair and dropping into the chair next to Maddie, his legs stretched out in front of him as he slouches. He looks a lot like his sister, but his hair is darker, and his manner is more airy. Where Jack is quick with a smile, Lizzie is content to merely quirk her lips.

(Except for if it’s at her.

Lizzie will always smile at her.)

“I agree,” Sophie says darkly, her eyes narrowed as if she’s already planning something nefarious. “Evil needs to go.”

“She’s Elizabeth’s friend,” Maddie argues weakly, not quite able to believe her own words. Lizzie had met and dated Evie in what she still calls ‘a dark time’ in her life. The fact that Evie helped her through it—that she had been there through long nights and eased Lizzie through panic attacks—meant that Evie had a permanent place in Lizzie’s life, even if Maddie and Evie had made their mutual dislike of one another well-known.

“Right,” Jack laughs, flicking his head so that his hair would fall perfectly on his forehead, giving Sophie a wink as she rolls his eyes at his antics. “And you stayed friends with that baseball player, huh Mads? What was his name again?” Jack asks in faux confusion, tapping a finger against his chin. “Darren? Derek? Daniel,” he stresses, flicking his hair again, smiling at Maddie as he stretches out Daniel’s name.

“It’s different,” Maddie says, waving him off, but Sophie sighs dreamily before shaking her head.

“And everyday I think it’s just tragic that you didn't keep him around for me. Your best friend. How could you, Maddie Bear?”

Maddie blushes, glaring at Sophie and Jack as they chuckle at her embarrassment.

“Can we get back to the point?” she asks weakly, two seconds away from banging her head against the kitchen table. She’s sure that won’t go over well with Lizzie; Sophie and Jack would get fired from babysitting duty the second Lizzie notices the bruise.

“Wasn’t the point that Evie is a she-devil? Because Jack and I are in full agreement on that front,” Sophie says, picking up Maddie’s mug and taking a sip before wincing at the cold, bitter coffee. “You’re really letting yourself go, babe,” she mutters, stalking over to the sink and emptying the coffee out. “Drinking bitter coffee and letting yourself become more bitter over the she-devil?” She turns and leans against the counter, arms crossed over her chest and Maddie’s mug hanging from the handle on her index finger. “It’s not like you.”

“Well, a lot of things aren’t like me. Like not going to work and spending all day watching daytime dramas. I don’t even like daytime dramas.”

“Don’t knock it, Mads,” Jack says, hand over his heart. “I for one am very invested in the bold and the beautiful—after all, I’m both bold and beautiful, don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Maddie laughs, rolling her eyes. “You’re a regular Prince Charming, Jack.”

“I’m gone for half a day and I come back to you flirting with my brother?” comes a voice down the hall and the sound of keys being tossed into a bowl, announcing Lizzie’s arrival. “What has the world come to?” she asks as she steps into view, first pressing a quick kiss to Maddie’s lips before hugging Sophie and Jack.

“I admit it,” Maddie jokes, grinning when Hamlet gets off his bed, stretches, and pads slowly over, sticking his head in Maddie’s lap. “It was a surprise to me too.”

“Surprise?” Jack exclaims, mouth dropping open. “Madeline, you and I were always meant to be.”

“You’re right, if only you were four years older and less beautiful. It could’ve been a match made in heaven.”

“Way to aim for a man’s heart, Mads,” Jack sighs, keeping a stoic expression even as Sophie chortles away. Lizzie shrugs off her jacket and tosses it into Jack’s face.

“Stop flirting with my wife, dork,” she says, eyes narrowed. “And Maddie, stop encouraging him.”

“Oh, but we’re meant to be, Liz,” Maddie laughs, “would you really get in the way of love?”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Pick on me, that’s fine,” Lizzie mutters, unable to help the smile that forms on her lips.

(It’s a startlingly normal moment. Maddie and Jack are teasing Lizzie like always. Sophie makes sure to throw in her own joke like always.

It’s almost easy to forget that Sophie’s hands are shaking as she pours Maddie a fresh cup of coffee, that Jack never strays too far when Maddie gets up to grab Hamlet a snack, that Lizzie watches apprehensively—as if waiting for something, a shoe to drop.

It’s a normal moment. And Maddie breathes it in, wants to keep it as long as possible.

It’s likely why she speaks up.)

“I have a story,” she announces to the others, feeling a little shaky on her feet, not minding when Jack subtly takes her by the elbow and leads her back to the table. “Want to hear it?”

“I do, but I better be in this one,” Sophie says, raising her eyebrows.

“I was promised dinner, so I’m in,” Jack adds with a shrug. “I’m not going anywhere till I’ve been fed.”

Lizzie helps Maddie sit down, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple.

“I want to hear everything you have to say, Madeline,” she says softly, eyes crinkling as she smiles.

And in that moment, Maddie feels a little bit warmer as she looks at her friends, and swears she falls just a bit more in love with her wife.

XxX

She’s busy polishing boots when she hears stomping from the stairs and Ser Evie enters the armory with her hair pointing in every direction, sweat beading on her forehead, and her chest heaving.

“Prince Jack has fallen in love!” she cries excitedly, shoving past Maddie roughly, and grabbing Ser Fredericks by the shoulders and shaking him. “Do you know what this means?”

“Weeks of celebration with lots and lots of mead?” Fredericks says hopefully, shifting in his chair. Maddie doesn’t think she’s ever actually seen him get off the chair, though she’s heard the stories of his incredible, heroic past—how he was born a peasant but was knighted because he saved the King’s life, how at only eighteen, he’d led the King’s army into glorious battle and emerged victorious. No one mentions that at a certain point war and rank seemed to pale in comparison to a good bottle of mead.

Though, as an overworked, underappreciated squire, Maddie can see the appeal of a good bottle of mead.

“Stop fooling around,” Evie snaps at Fredericks, glaring at him as he shifts again in his chair, clearly feeling off-balanced. “This is serious.”

Fredericks doesn’t look very serious—in fact, he seems terribly amused.

“And why is that exactly, Ser Evie?” he asks, stroking his beard. Maddie nearly gags when he finds some pheasant still stuck in it from lunch and pops it into his mouth with a giddy expression. “Is it because you think with Jack out of the way you can finally win Princess Elizabeth’s heart?” He laughs heartily at his own joke, clearly finding himself outrageously humorous. “Somehow I doubt Prince Jack will cease being a protective younger brother just because he’s fallen in love.”

“He’s distracted,” Evie huffs, tossing her cloak in Maddie’s general direction, followed by her boots and arm braces, not looking to see the spectacular balancing act Maddie pulls off in order to catch all the items. Maddie’s so busy congratulating herself on not looking stupid that she doesn’t notice the sword and scabbard coming her way—the hilt of the sword rams hard into Maddie’s hip, the shock of pain causing her to drop the items in her arms, and she curses under her breath as both Evie and Fredericks deign to look over at her, the former with disgust and the latter with poorly concealed mirth. “Can you carry out your duties in a more silent manner?” Evie snaps, giving Maddie a glare for good measure before turning her attention back to Fredericks. “My point is that Elizabeth will have more time to herself—time she could be spending with me, a knight of her father’s court.”

“Princess Elizabeth,” Maddie mumbles as she gathers Evie’s things once more. She leaves the armory just as Evie launches into the story the other knights and squires have heard hundreds of times before: Evie was there for Elizabeth after the Queen died, Evie soothed Elizabeth’s fears and wiped away her tears, Evie was the one who got her to smile again.

It’s the reason she was knighted—the King had taken one look at the smile on Elizabeth’s lips, a smile that had not graced the kingdom for two winters, and had immediately proclaimed that the one who elicited it was to be rewarded in any which way they chose. Evie chose knighthood, “to better serve the kingdom and the Princess” and of course, it had been the talk of court for months.

Elizabeth and her knight in shining armor, Evie, are meant to be—everyone knows it, from the cooks to the handmaidens to the measly squire who huffs her hair out of her eyes as she lugs Evie’s things to her quarters.

Maddie doesn’t know the princess, doesn’t care to know her, but she feels a bit sorry for her. After all, Maddie wouldn’t wish Evie on her worst enemy, let alone the well-loved princess.

“You look like you’re about to topple over,” Ser Sophie says, falling into step next to Maddie, grinning as she walks, one hand on the pommel of her sword, the other hidden beneath her cloak.

“You could always help,” Maddie points out, and though Sophie makes a big show of struggling and huffing, she does eventually grab the sword that’s slipping out of Maddie’s hands.

“You’re in a worse mood than usual,” Sophie says conversationally as they cross the courtyard, Evie’s sword scabbard dragging along the ground between them, Sophie clearly not caring about her fellow knight’s property, “does this mean Ser Evie has already bragged about her plans to woo the good Princess?”

“In detail, unfortunately,” Maddie says, grinning when that gets a loud laugh from Sophie.

(She’s always liked Sophie—liked the humor, liked the long, dark hair that’s always braided, liked the fact that she’s always cool under pressure, and the fact that her nose is slightly crooked from the time Fredericks accidentally broke it, liked the fact that even on a day as warm as this one, Sophie seems unaffected and comfortable in her chainmail and leather.

She especially likes the fact that Sophie has been kind, from the day they met, expecting absolutely nothing in return.)

“How about I cheer you up and buy you a few drinks at the tavern when you’re done polishing Evie’s boots?”

“You only want me there because I keep you out of trouble,” Maddie says with a roll of her eyes. “And if I polish Evie’s boots any more than I have, she’ll give Narcissus a run for his money.”

“Don’t be so bitter, Madeline. Look on the bright side, if Evie marries the good Princess, she’ll be out of our hair forever. And you may finally be knighted.” She emphasizes her point with a pat on Maddie’s shoulder, but she underestimates her own strength and the weight of her armor, because the pat nearly sends Maddie sprawling to the ground.

“That’s a good point,” Maddie muses as she pulls herself up. “Though I don’t need to be knighted, I’ll be happy with just not seeing Evie every single day.” They finally reach Evie’s quarters as she finishes her comment, and she misses Sophie’s contemplative look as she throws the door open and lugs Evie’s things into her room, setting them up for the following morning when Maddie would have to get up at the crack of dawn to help Evie get dressed.

“Come on,” Sophie says cheerfully as Maddie takes one last look at Evie’s quarters, wanting to make sure nothing is out of place, “I owe you a drink.”

“You owe me more than one,” Maddie says with a laugh, dodging the lighthearted punch Sophie sends her way.

“Let’s go, O Brave Squire. You’ve earned yourself a break.”

They don’t get their break.

By the time they make their way to the nearest tavern, Sophie is summoned to the palace “on urgent business” along with every other knight and squire within fifty miles of the palace. Left with nothing to do with herself, Maddie pulls her cloak tighter around herself, dons the hood, and sets out for beyond the city walls.

Before becoming a squire, she rarely spent any time at all outside the city walls, she had no reason to. Everything she wanted, her family, her home, her friends, were within the safety of the city, nestled right outside the sprawling palace grounds. But then the sickness came, everything she loved was lost (gone, along with the Queen), and Maddie became a squire and took to hiding out in the woods beyond the city.

For a moment to breathe. For a break, for a chance to lay on her back and stare up at the sky and dream of leaving and never looking back.

It’s become somewhat of a habit now. Any free moment, any moment that was hers and hers entirely, she drops everything, pulls up the hood of her cloak, and disappears into the trees. Always, it’s very quiet and still, giving her a chance to complain under her breath about Evie, not worrying about being overheard.

(It’s the solitude, she thinks. She just craves it.

She’s almost glad of the urgent business that allows her to do this instead of spending the night at the tavern.)

And for a moment, barely a second or two really, she gets that silence and solitude she so craves, before she’s rudely interrupted by a grunt, a mumbled curse, and then a heavy sigh. Maddie pulls out the dagger she hides at her belt, presses her back against the nearest tree, and peers towards the source of the sound, the ragged breathing, the fairly aggressive footsteps.

“Come on, Hamlet,” says a surprisingly gentle and pretty voice, though its owner is clearly harried and stressed, “we need to go.”

Maddie takes a small step, making sure to still have her back against the tree, and she cranes her head. Several feet away, only partially obscured by the trees, is a girl. Not any girl, but the most beautiful girl Maddie has ever set eyes on: her long blonde hair almost looks white in the moonlight, her lips curved into a tiny smile despite the furrow of her brow every time she’s unable to tug Hamlet—a massive, black horse—any further.

Maddie doesn’t need the royal insignia on the horse’s saddle or the beautiful, expensive dress the girl is wearing to immediately recognize exactly who has stumbled in on her moment of peace and quiet.

The Princess, Elizabeth herself.

(Now, Maddie is nothing but a lowly squire, but she’s been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of the princess thrice before. First, soon after she became a squire, she’d quite literally run into the princess, both of them tumbling to the ground. She’d gotten quite an earful from Evie that day, and soon after, Evie was knighted. The second time, it was from a distance during the ceremony knighting the newest members of the King’s court. And the last time was merely weeks ago, from across the courtyard, somehow managing to earn a tiny smile and a small wave before Princess Elizabeth was swept away by one of her attendants.

Every time, seeing the princess in person had been heart stopping. This time is no different.)

Without really thinking about it, Maddie slides her knife back in its sheath then puts her hands up in a non-threatening gesture, and approaches the princess.

“I’m so sorry—” Maddie tries, immediately cut off by the neighing of the horse, who then pulls back on its hind legs, shocking the princess into letting go of the reins.

What happens next goes by so quickly that Maddie would later be sure she’d hallucinated the whole thing. One minute, the princess looks up at her horse in horror, clearly sure she’s about to be trampled, and the next, Maddie has tackled the princess to the ground, rolling them a safe distance away, ending up straddling the other girl, arms braced on either side of her head.

“Are you all right?”

“Get off me,” the princess shouts, managing to land a remarkably precise blow onto Maddie’s face as they scramble about. She stumbles off the princess, tasting blood, but ignores the pain radiating from the right side of her face and instead stumbles over to the horse, urging it to calm down.

“I’m so sorry,” Maddie says as Hamlet lets out an aggressive breath, but allows Maddie to rub his neck. “I didn’t mean to frighten either one of you.” She turns to look at the princess, making sure to keep her eyes averted. “I’m so sorry for knocking you down, Princess.”

She chances a single look at the princess’ face, watching as she casts her eyes up and down, pausing briefly on the insignia on her bag.

“You’re from the palace,” the princess finally says, a bit tonelessly, as she gets to her feet and shakes off the leaves stuck to her dress and hair. “You’re new. But you found me rather quickly, so you must not be useless. What’s your name, knight?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

This makes the princess blink and even share a look with her horse, shockingly enough letting out whinny and shaking its head—as if it is disappointed with Maddie. “You don’t know what names are?”

“I think you’ve got it wrong, Princess,” Maddie says quickly, finally catching on to the fact that there’s quite a bit going on in the palace she’s clearly not privy to. “I’m not a knight. I’m just a squire. And I, um, wasn’t looking for you. In fact, technically, you found me.”

The princess eyes her suspiciously. “You’re not a knight?” she questions, as if she doesn’t really want to believe it.

“No, Princess.”

“And you weren’t sent by my brother to look for me?”

“No, Princess. I didn’t know you were even in need of finding.”

“So if I just...got on Hamlet and left. You’d what? Let me?”

It’s Maddie’s turn to blink. “It’s not really my place to let you do anything, Princess. I wouldn’t try to stop you, if that’s what you’re asking. If anything, I’d just follow you.”

“Follow me?”

“Of course, your highness. There’s no honor in watching the princess venture out into the woods on her own. I’d accompany you at the very least.”

This response is not what the princess was expecting, because her eyes widen a bit, and she steps forward, close enough that she tugs the horse’s reins out of Maddie’s hands. “And if I told you I want to leave and never come back? Would you still follow me then?”

Maddie doesn’t hesitate. “Yes, Princess.”

“Interesting,” the princess mumbles, head slightly tilted to the side as she studies Maddie. There’s a beat, then she bends a bit at the knees, ducking to catch Maddie’s gaze. “I know you,” she says slowly. “You’re the squire Evie hates so much.” Maddie swallows, unable to speak when the princess’ brown eyes—her beautiful brown eyes—are so focused on her. “Madeline, right?”

“I’m honored that the princess knows who I am,” Maddie mumbles, breaking eye contact. This, for whatever reason, makes the princess chuckle, and she basically takes Maddie’s breath away when she pats her on the shoulder.

“Don’t be silly.” She looks like she’s about to say more, but at that moment, they both turn their heads at the sound of pounding hooves and shouts of ‘Princess!’ coming from the distance. “Ah, well. I suppose they’ve found me. Thanks to you, really,” she adds, narrowing her eyes at her horse playfully. She lets the horse press its muzzle to her cheek in an apparent apology, letting out a soft laugh, then tugs on the reins, pulling the horse back in the direction of the palace. She pauses after a few feet, and looks back at Maddie. “I have a feeling we’ll see much more of each other, Madeline,” she says. “So please, stop with all the princess nonsense. It’s just Lizzie to you.”

She doesn’t wait for a response, which is a good thing. It takes nearly a quarter of an hour before Maddie can even move again, unrooting herself with a tiny smile and a whispered Lizzie.

Soon enough, Maddie becomes rather sure she imagined the whole interaction with the princess.

Days pass by with no indication she even ran into the jewel of the royal family. No one glares at her accusingly for tackling the princess to the hard forest floor, no one comments on the way she goes about her work for Evie without a single complaint (too full of some sort of rush from the princess’ order to call her Lizzie), no one even mentions the awful black eye Maddie is sporting.

(In fact, it’s the black eye—and the view of it she gets every time she polishes Evie’s armor—that gives her a bit of hope that she isn’t crazy. The pain is a reminder that, yes, she did meet Elizabeth, and yes, the princess knew her name.)

But, enough days pass that Maddie—deflating all at once—finally begins to accept that she’d gotten her hopes up, had thought there was more to Princess Elizabeth’s ‘we’ll see more of each other’ comment than there actually was, and finds herself accepting she isn’t going to be seeing the princess at all.

And, just as soon as the thought enters her head, she runs into the princess, nearly knocking them both to the ground.

“I’m starting to think this is just how you say hello,” Elizabeth tells her, letting out a laugh as Maddie struggles between wanting to help balance the princess and not wanting to offend her by touching her without permission (again).

“I’m so sorry, Princess, I—”

“—thought we agreed it was just Lizzie,” Elizabeth finishes for her, raising an eyebrow when Maddie gathers the courage to look straight at her instead of a point above her head.

“Well, agreed may be somewhat of a stretch,” Maddie says without thinking, horrified when the words register with her brain, her hand coming up and covering her mouth. “Sorry, I just meant—”

“—look. I want you to pretend I’m one of your friends,” Elizabeth says, reaching out and curling her fingers around Maddie’s wrist, tugging her hand away from her mouth. “Then, soon enough, you won’t be pretending.”

Maddie takes in a deep breath, shaking her head. “Are you sure you want to be friends with me, Pri—Lizzie,” she corrects, a little blinded by the grin Elizabeth shoots her at her correction.

“I think the real question is if you’d even want to be friends with me,” she says after a moment, tugging on Maddie’s hand gently, pulling her towards the palace. “You see, I told my brother about our run in, and he insists on speaking with you.”

“Am I in trouble?” Maddie asks worriedly, swallowing hard as they walk through the entrance hall and towards the throne room.

(It’s common knowledge that the King is king only in name, that he has been since his wife died years ago. All official business was up to the King, but the day to day managing of the kingdom?

That’s been left to Jack and Elizabeth for as long as Maddie can remember.)

“Trouble? No, I don’t think so,” Elizabeth says, the answer not inspiring much confidence even as she pushes the doors to the throne room wide open. Maddie pauses, unable to help it, her eyes drawn to the red and gold rugs and banners, the ornate table where the royal family took their meals, the massive throne itself—situated on a dais at the very end of the hall. “Come on, Madeline,” Elizabeth tells her softly, shifting her grip from Maddie’s wrist to her elbow, and gently pulling her forward.

Maddie’s heart pounds quickly and loudly in her chest, giving rise to the sudden, stupid thought that she was quite close to passing out in front of the royal family, but before she can voice her fears to Elizabeth, her brother Jack gets up from where he’s seated at the table, making quick strides towards the two of them.

“Ah! My lovely, adventuring sister and her rescuer arrive!”

“Rescuer?” Maddie mumbles.

Elizabeth elbows her a bit, actually winking when Maddie turns to her. “I may have embellished the story about our meeting. Leave the talking to me, yeah?” she adds in a whisper before turning to her brother with a wide smile. “Jack, we agreed you wouldn’t be too effusive with your praise, you’re going to make the poor girl uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry, you’re absolutely right,” Jack says, coming to a stop as he reaches them, grabbing Maddie by the shoulder before she has a chance to bow. “None of that, not for you. The woman who saved my sister’s life doesn’t bow to anyone.”

“Sorry?” Maddie asked, unable to help it. Elizabeth, from over Jack’s shoulder, made a face at Maddie, even going as far as sticking her tongue out.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Madeline,” Elizabeth said, refocusing her brother’s attention on her. “She’s such a joker, pretending she doesn’t remember saving me after Hamlet got spooked by a snake. The way she raced into the woods after us...it was quite brave.”

Maddie, who was there and knows this is not true, keeps her mouth shut, giving Elizabeth and Jack a tight smile when they both turn to her.

“My sister has tried to run away four times,” Jack tells Maddie slowly, and Maddie mentally corrects him, thinking five times, actually. “It was a relief, to say the least, that this latest...outing...was not planned.” He lets out a sigh, bracing his hands on either side of his waist, tilting his head back. “After your service to our family, the appropriate thing would be to offer you a reward, not ask more of you. But I am busy preparing for my wedding, and Lizzie seems to have taken a liking to you, so I would be grateful if you allow me to delay your knighthood and instead act as a companion for my sister after her traumatic experience.”

“What my little brother means,” Elizabeth says cheerfully, “is that he wants you to babysit me, because he can’t right now.”

“No,” Jack says, shaking his head and looking at Maddie seriously, as if needing her to believe him. “My sister doesn’t need a babysitter. She’s to be Queen. What she needs is protection from, well, undesirable presences.”

“He’s talking about Evie,” Elizabeth explains helpfully, confusing Maddie with the lack of argument on her end. It’s almost as if she wants a babysitter.

Jack turns to his sister, hands in his hair now. “Lizzie, you know she—”

“—I’m really sorry, but is this something I should be privy to? I’m just, you know, a squire.”

“No, you’re right,” Jack says, as if coming to himself all at once. “The reasons don’t matter. So? Can I count on you?” he asks, waiting for Maddie’s nod before letting out a little sigh of relief. “Good, good. Excellent,” he says, more to himself than to Maddie.

And later, long after he’s gone, after one of Elizabeth’s handmaidens has shown Maddie her new quarters (right next to the princess’) and laid out new clothes, Elizabeth confesses why she didn’t put up an argument, why she merely went along with Jack’s request, the real reason she wants Maddie around:

“You’re going to help me run away a sixth time.”

Elizabeth lays under the shade of a tree several days later, head pillowed by Maddie’s leg, a book abandoned on her chest.

“We should talk about it,” Maddie says, breaking the silence. It being Elizabeth’s desire to run away and use Maddie to do it, something she’s been mum about since her confession. Instead, she’d busied their days with fitting Maddie in nicer clothes, dragging her to lessons, even having her teach the little she knew about swinging a sword.

Elizabeth sighs, but she doesn’t move, and Maddie resists the urge to smooth back the princess’ hair, to trace a finger from her brow to her hairline. “I don’t want to be Queen.”

“Then why don’t you just say so?”

“It’s not something you just don’t accept,” she says, and she turns her head, the tip of her nose pressed against Maddie’s knee. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet, I thought you said you’d follow me anywhere.”

“Yes, follow you anywhere. But I won’t help you run away if I don’t even know why.”

This makes Elizabeth sit up, book falling onto the grass and opening to a random page, twisting to look at Maddie with narrowed eyes. “You can’t talk like that, you know, I am the princess.”

“You told me to pretend you’re my friend. That’s how I’d talk to my friends,” Maddie informs her, wishing she didn’t miss Elizabeth’s warmth already. To her surprise, this response makes Elizabeth smile.

“I’d have to get married if I wanted to be Queen. And I don’t want to get married.”

“Why? It’s not as if you’ve got any shortage of suitors.” Maddie sighs as she spots one of them in the distance. “Look. Here comes one now.” She starts to get up, to give Elizabeth privacy, but before she can, there’s a hand on hers, holding on tightly.

“Stay,” Elizabeth requests softly, and Maddie settles back down, powerless to say no, and realizing with a start she doesn’t want to say no.

(She stays, enduring Evie’s glares and dirty looks.

She stays, knowing Evie will get her payback later.

She stays, and it’s worth it, because Elizabeth has tangled their fingers together, and doesn’t seem keen on letting go any time soon.)

“If you run away, where will you go?” Maddie asks several days later.

“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it.”

“Do you think you’ll miss your brother? Your home? Your people?”

“I’ve tried not to think about that.”

“What if you fall in love? Will you marry then and take the crown?”

“I’m not worried about me falling in love, Madeline. My issue is how will I ever know if the person I love loves me for me and not for what they can get from me?”

“Well,” Maddie jokes, “I guess you could always just ask them to run away with you and see what they say.”

As the weeks go on, Maddie learns quite a bit about the princess.

For one, she never eats breakfast, claiming that she’d rather start her day with several cups of tea. For another, Elizabeth hates the long, flowy dresses that she and the other women of court have to wear, and has—with increasing frequency—donned the pants and billowy shirts that Maddie prefers. But most importantly, Maddie learns that Elizabeth loves the library and spends nearly all her time there.

And it’s unbearably boring.

She rocks her chair back, feet on the table, staring at the ceiling with her hands folded over her stomach, dangerously close to dozing off when Elizabeth speaks up.

“I’m not interested in Evie, you know,” she says, shocking Maddie enough that she drops her chair back down too quickly, legs falling to the floor with a thud that sounds impossibly loud in the quiet of the library.

“Oh,” Maddie says stupidly, not quite sure what else to say. The thing is, it’s complicated.

She likes Elizabeth. Perhaps more than she should, definitely more than is appropriate. She knows, without a doubt, her feelings will not be returned (they can’t be, she’s a squire and Elizabeth is a princess). More importantly, Elizabeth’s feelings for Evie are absolutely none of her business. Except...well, except that Maddie doesn’t dislike many people but she absolutely dislikes Evie and there’s no doubt in her mind that Evie is incredibly wrong for Elizabeth.

(There is the unhelpful part of her that, head-bowed, quietly suggests maybe there is someone else more—

More right.)

But again, it’s none of her business.

“My brother doesn’t like her either, don’t worry. But Evie...she was there. She was there when I was—”

“—you don’t have to tell me this.”

“I know. I want to,” Elizabeth says, closing her book with a resounding snap, shifting in her chair enough that they’re staring directly at each other. Maddie tries her best not to let her pleasure at those three words show on her expression, but she thinks, judging by Elizabeth’s smile, she’s not quite successful. “Evie saved me,” she continues, letting out a deep breath. “And ever since then, it’s like...she just wants to keep doing the saving. She wants to swoop in, to be my knight in shining armor.”

“That’s romantic,” Maddie says, not believing it, and hating that she’s defending Evie when all she wants to do is agree with Elizabeth and tell her that Evie isn’t worth her time.

Elizabeth gives Maddie a look that clearly says she knows exactly what Maddie is thinking. “I don’t want a knight in shining armor, Madeline. I don’t want someone who wants to come and save my day. I just….”

“Just?” Maddie prods, literally on the edge of her seat, waiting for Elizabeth to finish her sentence.

“Perhaps this is silly, but I just want someone who just wants to be. To sit with me in the dry, boring moments. Someone who just wants to be with me. Someone like—” She cuts herself off, clears her throat and shakes her head. “Well, it doesn’t matter. You and I are running away after all.”

“I haven’t agreed to that, actually,” Maddie says absentmindedly, trying to calm her racing heart. For a moment, just a second, she’d thought Elizabeth was about to...well, it doesn’t matter.

Elizabeth reaches out, fingers circling around one of Maddie’s wrists. “But if I tried to leave?”

“I’d follow you,” Maddie says easily, with no hesitation at all. “If only to keep you out of trouble.”

Elizabeth smiles, her eyes soft. “Now see. That’s what I mean.”

The wedding is only days away when Maddie bursts into Elizabeth’s rooms, laden with bags. Her dramatic entrance isn’t quite given the reaction she’s looking for, only causing Elizabeth to look up from the letter she’s writing and eye Maddie with amusement. “Lost, Madeline?” she asks, eyes flicking from Maddie’s face to all the bags.

“I’ve thought about it and thought about it and thought about it, and I realized...why am I thinking about it at all?” Maddie says, dropping the bags and approaching Elizabeth, dropping to her knees in front of her.

“What are we talking about?”

“You wanting to run away.” Maddie holds out a hand, palm up, trying not to smile when Elizabeth takes it almost immediately. “I kept wanting to know why but it doesn’t matter. If you want to go, you should be able to go. So I made a plan.”

Elizabeth blinks. “You made a plan?” she repeats, almost dazedly.

“I gathered supplies,” she gestures towards the bags, “got Sophie’s help with distracting guards at the gates so no one can warn your brother or the knights, even trained Hamlet not to freak out in the woods—”

“—is that where you’ve been going in the afternoons lately?” Elizabeth interrupts, but Maddie is on a roll.

“So just say the word. If you want to go, we go. I’ve sent letters ahead to friends, so we’ll have someplace to go, or we can just travel and explore. Or if you want to stay, get married to Evie,” here she physically has to keep herself from gagging, “I can help with that too. I can talk with her about being less intense maybe or—”

“—you’re such an idiot, Madeline,” Elizabeth breathes out, and that’s all the warning Maddie gets before Elizabeth is leaning forward, hands cupping Maddie’s face, and kisses her. “The only thing I want,” she says softly as she pulls away, and Maddie is quite shocked she’s still able to speak when she’s just taken Maddie’s breath away, “is you. Wasn’t that obvious?”

“It is now,” Maddie manages to say, and this time, she’s the one who closes the distance between them, bags and plans and thoughts of running away all forgotten.

XxX

“And in the end,” Maddie finishes, gesticulating wildly with her hands, “the princess marries the squire and doesn’t spare the dumb knight a single thought ever again.”

Silence follows her words, Lizzie’s hand rubbing a gentle pattern into her back while Sophie and Jack merely blink at her for a moment.

“That was fantastic,” Jack finally says, struggling not to smile. “I’m actually a little shocked Evie didn’t find herself stuck in a well or something for all time, cursed forever.”

“That’s the sequel,” Maddie says, allowing Lizzie to burrow her face into her neck, running her fingers through her wife’s hair. “Part two coming soon.”

Sophie lets out a loud snort, getting to her feet and stretching. “Well, I think it’s adorable that the two of you write fanfiction about your own lives,” she says brightly, smiling to ensure there’s no bite to her words. “I for one am just glad to be included, in all fairness. Maybe a bit more next time, though. My part was tragically small.”

“They’re love stories, Soph, you’re not supposed to be involved,” Lizzie mumbles from where her face is still pressed against Maddie’s neck. Both Jack and Sophie protest jokingly at that, carrying the faux outrage even as they gather their things and wave goodbye to leave.

When they’re alone, Lizzie pulls away and smooths back Maddie’s hair, pressing a light kiss to her forehead and lingering there.

“I’d always choose you, you know,” she whispers, ducking her head so that their foreheads are pressed together. “In this life or any other. No one else comes close.”

(It’s sweet and nice and Maddie likes to hear the way Lizzie’s mouth curls over the words, the way she lingers on choose and you. Maddie likes the way that Lizzie knows to reassure her without knowing about Evie’s call or Maddie’s annoyance.

She likes that Lizzie knows her.)

“But it’s nice to know you’ve got a backup, huh?” Maddie jokes, lacing her fingers between Lizzie’s, unable to help her smile when Lizzie uses her free hand to hook a finger through a belt loop and tug Maddie closer. “In case things between us don’t work out?”

“Well, it never hurts to be prepared,” Lizzie says with a laugh, her free hand now at Maddie’s chin, thumb brushing her jawline. Her expression turns serious. “You know I love you, right? Just you.”

“Gasp! What about Hamlet and Macbeth?”

“Madeline,” Lizzie stresses, her hand moving to the back of Maddie’s neck, thumb now brushing under her ear. “I’m being serious.”

Maddie drops her head onto Lizzie’s shoulder, sighing into the feeling of her wife’s hand in her own, the other lightly massaging the back of her neck.

“I know. In this life or any other, I’d choose you too.” She pauses, pressing her free hand to Lizzie’s back, running her fingers up Lizzie’s spine slowly. “Though, my backup is Jack. I think you need to know.”

Lizzie pulls away with a start as Maddie laughs.

“Come on, Maddie, way to ruin the moment.”

“No! Come back!” Maddie cries between her laughter, watching as Lizzie huffs indignantly and grabs Hamlet’s leash, causing the dog to begin trotting around the kitchen excitedly. “Don’t go! Don’t take the children because of this,” she adds, kneeling down and hugging Hamlet lightly, grimacing and giggling when he manages to lick the entire right side of her face.

And Lizzie, seemingly unable to help it, laughs along.

#fun fact: this does not constitute endorsement of staying friends with exes except if you want fic from them #which haha suckers i just got a 7k from this one #somerandr #origfic #5

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 5 years ago

Text

Evil Author Day

Hey everyone!! Sorry I’m late. I didn’t know this was a thing until I was already at work for a double today. I’m probably one of the slowest writers on here so I really only have two current WIPs.

This one is “Sky Made of Amethyst” about Luke and Izzy. This was inspired by my many mistakes in romance and esp the most recent one. This is also the fic I told @noshamenion about that features Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin

"We don't know many girls willing play against us," Tyler told Izzy and she snorted with laughter. Gemma racked the balls and Izzy took the break shot, sinking two immediately.

"Stripes," she declared smiling sweetly at Tyler.

"You boys are lucky we're not teamed up against you," Izzy told him and all the guys cracked up.

They were halfway through their game when Izzy felt her phone blowing up. Gemma heard it too and managed to swipe it from her before she could check it.

After Gemma made an impossible shot Jamie laughed and threw his hands up, "ok I gotta know how you two became pool sharks."

"Our first apartment was above the photography studio I worked for and there was this tiny bar down the street with dollar drafts, a jukebox and a couple pool tables. They never checked my ID so we hung out there quite a bit," Izzy told him before calling her shot.

"The owner's wife would often make some kind of meal for the day drinkers. It was usually carnitas, chicken tinga, something like that," Gemma picked up the story when Izzy stopped to get a drink. She paused, rolling her eyes when Tyler missed his shot. "Eyes on the prize ya fuckin bellend," she scolded him, "I'm not trying to lose because you're distracted by her tits, focus man.

"Anyways," Gemma continued "one of the regulars used to be a pro and he gave us more than a few tips." She called her shot lined up and just barely banked it in.

"Ooh you got lucky there," Izzy teased her.

"Last shot for the win," Gemma proclaimed before hitting it perfectly.

Izzy laughed, "You're always so competitive Gemma. Next round is guys vs girls though." She lowered her voice and she got closer, "I need my phone back."

"No you don't," Gemma told her. "Spend time with Jamie, you look so happy and relaxed."

"So it is Luke," Izzy sighed. "Just give it to me or I'm gonna tie myself in knots wondering."

Gemma sighed and rolled her eyes, "Fine, i think you're making a mistake."

Izzy stepped away from the group, and unlocked her phone by swiping an L. She instantly saw a flurry of texts from Luke.

Happy birthday baby, I can't believe I missed it. Where are you?

I wanna come see you, baby please. I don't like that you're hanging out with other dudes. I saw him hanging all over you

I saw Vy tagged you on Instagram. So I know you're out tonight. You're looking good tonight babe, let me show you Iz

I know I fucked up and you're trying to prove a point but don't be like this,

That's that hockey player from Texas isn't it? The one you said had a girlfriend? So who was lying about that you or him?

Izzy baby, I know you're probably mad but don't be childish and hook up with this guy just to get back at me. We should be past that petty bullshit, I thought we were doing better.

Come on Izzy Why are you ignoring me? Don't be like a bitch, talk to me baby.. You know how much I like you I don't want it to be like this

Vy tagged where you're at so I'm gonna come find my girl. Idk who I gotta deal with, you're not going home with anyone but me

Izzy felt the blood rushing to her face and pounding in her ears. Gemma's voice played in her head on repeat, "selfish, selfish, selfish," as Izzy realized Luke still hadn't apologized. He was, as always, worried he wouldn't get what he wanted rather than putting Izzy's feelings first. If he couldn't make her a priority on her birthday then he never would.

Don't you dare show up here. I'm not hooking up, I'm having fun, I know you might not understand that concept. We made plans Luke, and you stood me up. For our first "real date" even...ON…. MY….BIRTHDAY. Don't you dare turn around and make me seem like I'm the bad person for going out with my friends. You could've been here with us but you couldn't be bothered. Not only that you haven't even said you're sorry so GET FUCKED!!!

Izzy hit send and went to shove her phone into her dress pocket but almost dropped it because her hands were shaking. Gemma, who'd been watching her, was at her side in a flash, "you ok Izzy? Do you need to get some air? Take a minute?"

Izzy took a deep breath and looked over where Saul had teamed up with Tyler to take on the other two hockey players. Jamie was next to Vy, cheering from the sidelines while keeping a discreet eye on the two girls. Izzy couldn't help but stare at his strong legs, broad chest and easy smile.

"I think Luke might have done me a favor really," Izzy swooned and Gemma couldn't agree more, even if she knew her friend didn't entirely mean it. Izzy silenced her phone and handed her it to Gemma.

"I don't want to be that person tonight. I'm tired of this shit. Hang onto this for awhile, and I'll tell you when I need it back.," Izzy told her, pushing Luke out of her mind as best she could.

She walked back over to Jamie suddenly feeling very shy. Izzy stood off to the side a bit so he leaned down to talk to her, "Are you ok? Do you need to go? Do you want to sit down?"

"No I'm good," Izzy told him.

"Maybe we can talk later, let's see who wins this game then it's girls vs boys right?" Jamie stood behind her and pulled her back into him so she leaned her head against his chest and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Izzy relaxed into him and he pressed a kiss onto the top of her head making her giggle.

Gemma took the opportunity to check her own phone.

Maybe we can talk later, let's see who wins this game then it's girls vs boys right?" Jamie stood behind her and pulled her back into him so she leaned her head against his chest and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Izzy relaxed into him and he pressed a kiss onto the top of her head making her giggle.

Gemma took the opportunity to check her own phone.

Looks like we're both on babysitting duty tonight, you with Izzy and me with Luke. I hope Izzy is having more fun. Luke is an absolute mess.

Good! He fucking deserves this, I'm sorry your night is going to shit, but I've got no sympathy for him.

He wants me to bring him to Tia's so he can talk to Izzy, but those are some pretty big dudes hanging with you guys, even I feel a bit threatened.

Hahaha don't... I'm having fun and kicking ass at pool but I wish you were here. I'll definitely be by later so wait up

Oh trust me darling, I plan on fucking you until you forget how to spell hockey

Ooh you're so cute when you're jealous

Well you're cute all the time so I gotta keep my guard up. At least until everyone knows about us

Patience sweetheart, I gotta go play but please don't bring Luke here. I will personally beat his ass and then have sex with you next to the broken hull that was once his body.

"Whatcha doing," a voice behind her made her jump.

Gemma spun around to see Tyler with a smirk, "you gotta quit doing that," she scolded him.

"Not a chance," he laughed before his face went serious. "I don't want to be nosy, but what's the deal with Izzy? She's mad at her boyfriend and Jamie is revenge? I hope that's not what this is, she seems like a nice girl…"

"So why are you in their business?" Gemma snapped. "Jamie is a big boy, can't he handle himself?"

"Ok listen," Tyler hissed back. "He's very very recently single, in fact we're here in part for this charity event and partly because Lily's moving out of his house this week." Gemma was taken aback and he softened his tone. " He's still hurting and dealing with a lot of shit, but I think he likes Izzy. I'd hate for him to get led on if she's already got a man."

Gemma rubbed her temples, "she doesn't have a man, she has a Luke. A selfish prick who stood her up on her birthday after making a big deal out of making plans. Maybe both of them just need to be around someone who knows what they're dealing with."

@maluminspace @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @sexgodashton @irwinkitten @angelbabylu @dammitbands @tea4sykes @sublimehood

#evil author day #sky made of amethyst #luke hemmings #luke hemmings snippet #5sos #luke 5sos #jamie benn #tyler seguin #calum hood imagine

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randomnameless · 6 years ago

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Final Chapter - Dozel to Freege!

Seliph continues to liberate the land of his grandfather, and settles down the feud the Chalphyians had with the Freeges for 3 generations.

AND WE SEE THE RISE AND FALL OF OUR HERO - SCIPIO OF JUNGBY

You had men out there? I forgot. I was focused on, you know, the Master Knight with a Holy Weapon.

I hope you’re calling your men cowards, not the Dozels! Or is it another way of Kaga to pile shit on the Dozels, even from within their side?

Yeah, once and for all given how you’re one of the rare bosses to run away and not to die when we defeat you.

A plan?

This is a way to warn the player of what kind of backup units/mechanics are going to happen, so we won’t be going “WTF” at, idk, ballistaes popping up after the 10th turn in a defense map, but it defeats the plot purpose!

there’s no surprise here, so of course Hilda’s plan doesn’t work. If we knew in FE5 that Dastard Jr was going to blow up the bridge after we sent units to cross it, then to send Reinhardt and his pals on us, it wouldn’t have the same impact - we would curse Saias less, but his “tactician” gimmick wouldn’t be translated into the game

Hilda means to fight to death. Well, this is the final map so...

The Gelbenritter, or what’s left of it looks menacing! Hopefully Arvis gave Seliph the Tyrfing in the previous chapter, else Seliph wouldn’t have been able to plow through those guys like Ares does on a regular basis - welp that sounds wrong doesn’t it

What do you mean, random? Is this not a holy war on its own, us having to fight against Loptyr himself?

HE ASKS US TO SUMMON THE TRIFORCE? SUMMON THE POWER OF THE HYLIAN GODDESSES SELIPH!

?? To this day, I still don’t understand what the fuck are those trails. Julia and Seliph? Leif and Seliph? Julia vs Julius? (one good light vs one evil light?)

At least he gave us sufficient funds to repair our HWs.

“slow down you jackass you have a horse now !”

“remember you’re weak and i have to protect you, the usual routine” “hey i have my holy weapon now”

? You’re scared now, but when we were fighting in Thracia you weren’t? OTOH this is the end of the journey, and during Siggy’s end everything burnt, so maybe Larcei’s afraid of that, or she knows that if she manages to rekt Julius before, now he is stronger.

IDK, maybe having your WIFE and not only her BLADE at your side?

Larcei’s supposed to find this romantic, or she’s pissed, idk.

Finally someone’s going to sing something good about the Crusdaders, Neir and co!

smite the devil with a demonic blade? Like in Pokémon when ghost attacks are very effective against ghost types?

Odo and Hezul hated each other guts or something? One is a saint, the other wields a demonic blade...

Apparently Baldur is only remembered as very pious, or something? the Tyrfing shines in the dark?

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER CRUSADERS DAMN IT

and Baldur “shines a light” but Heim “prays”? I mean, if something should be shiny and have a “light” imagery, it should be the Book of Naga, not the Tyrfing but...

Ooh!

So Heim prays to the white dragon who destroys the shadow dragon, that’s why praying is important and Heim’s reserved stuff!

So the white dragon means light? Baldur and Heim were cosy enough to share their attributes, or Baldur did something awesome to be called the holy knight with a sword that shines light?

Well, wait 60 turns and see.

for we have the power of savestates at our disposal?

OTOH, if Seliph and Julia die here... We can only pull a Manfroy with Linoan, and hope for her Naga-grandson to continue the fight

Children will finish what their parents started, the game is called Genealogy after all!

or he is talking about the power of savestates

MMH

Never lost? The Barahra family nearly went extinct because someone only had eyes for a married woman who ran away!

You believe in Lester, who’s only following us?

I believe in Linoan too, even if she isn’t in the game. Or by light you meant people who want to fight against Loptyr?

You raised more questions than answers, but this song makes me understand what the randoms in Granvalle are really thinking (or what Finn thinks they’re thinking^^) - only the sword crusader counts and that irks me a lot!

Stop swarming us from the rear damn it genealogy of the rear attack : the holy innuendo

Scipio is into dubious kinks

more seriously, who compares himself to a snake? That’s not a noble animal!

DERMOTT NO - he managed to dodge this

Hilda knew Tailte had another child? She must have heard about how Tine defected to join her brother and made 1+1.

She can dirty them around killing randoms, but not by killing Hilda? It doesn’t make any sense :’(

Hilda’s aware that she’s going to hell? Or that, whatever she is/was doing, she knew it was something that no one could condone?

HOW’S THAT “WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE”

You’re being rude to your street urchin of a cousin Scipio!

the sprites beg to differ, but again, to Scipio and everyone around his age who grew up in the empire Siggy and pals, even Briggid were traitors!

Family bonding time :)

ULSTER NO

YOU RUINED THEIR FAMILY BONDING TIME :’(

Maybe he felt conflicted by hearing that he is the son of Jamke and how the Empire and the Jungbies never gave a flying fuck about his country

Fee remembered that Arthur’s dad was the guy who berated Arthur’s mom for wanting to kill her own dad, Arthur mustn’t slay his relatives! So she’s the one to kill Hilda.

Farewell Hilda, at least you’ll join Blume and you’ll live happily ever after together, with your daughter joining you in the next update!

Come on i’ve seen this before

Try to be more inventive next time, would you?

Finally, we settle things with Freeges! By seizing their castles!

Seliph thinks of the children :)

Felipe ex machina

Oldvis had an aide? With Aida dead, he maybe wanted to share his dastardly plans to someone, or maybe he wanted to talk to anyone who wouldn’t trashtalk him unlike his son(s?)...

OMG OMG OMG

Even the ones from Thracia?

THEY’RE ALL HIDING!!!!

Which raises several issues, how can they all fit, how many were they, how come no one noticed that no children were in Belhalla and reported it to Julius, etc...

Remember that Hilda was the Queen of Miletos, so she spent the majority of her time there!!

And Freege isn’t Hilda’s city, but the Ducal seat of Blume and the Tordo royals!

and here the Ishtar gambit is revealed!

So Ishtar has wrath in her skillset? I never noticed

Hm... You haven’t met a lot of people.

She and Oldvis were really getting along then! We could glimpse it in their convo, too bad it ended in, well, you know. Loptyrpocalypse ruins everything.

Oh, so the children signed their presence sheet, then skipped the “i will sacrifice myself for the sake of Loptyr, our God and Savior” classes.

It still doesn’t make any sense, but why not

They’re going to gie you armorslayers and vulneraries, ask Leif!

Thank you revealing crucial elements of caracterisation the game couldn’t offer us in some other way

“Some results” is the reason why so many people joined Seliph’s quest, and the symbol of the Empire’s tyranny, but whatever

But yes, the real job awaits.

Dead is the only logical conclusion, but the game isn’t logical. And how’s that the only option? Master draconic tactician can’t guess that Loptyr murdered the only one who can kill him before she could hold the tome of Naga?

Or is he desperatly clinging to the little shred of hope he has of Julia being alive not to think about his own naivety of letting her get captured when she is the only one able to save the world?

That’s not what you told us in Chapter 6, you said only Seliph’s destiny was “to free the world from this evil grip” as the “one true heir of Saint Heim”

Freeing the world from the evil grip means getting rid of the idiot sitting in Belhalla, right?

Hopefully even this guy doesn’t contradict the game’s lore. At least one positive point I found about you, yay!

“what about you, you raised her for years?”

“i only fed her wild berries and gave her a roof - i spent more time training Arthur in wind magic than talking and being a relative to Julia, remember how i dropped her on you during your Isaachian campaign without any tomes or staves?”

Hopefully, Julia dosn’t need to be convinced by those dolts, because it’s her destiny as a Falchion to slay an evil Dragon!

#FE4 run #FE4 #final chapter #we finally close the Freege and Jungby chapters #the last one was disappointing as i already pointed out #i don't know if the random's song was really indicative of anything but #why singing about Baldur and not the other granvallians crusaders #or the others from the others countries?#because Seliph's Chalphyian?#and Ares and Shanan are by his side?#Altena too #i know she can die but Shanan and Ares too so why?#i mean Faval helped us just like Ced and we just shit on them?#and really what is going on with all of the light related stuff for Chalphy? I though Belhalla was all light and stuff #because naga #i start to grow as pissed as Oosawa!Langbalt about this #i know our heroes are from chalphy #but there are 13 crusaders #we don't see Roland being raised above the other heroes in FE7/6 #even if roy Eliwood and Hector are from Lycia #so why the special treatment?#RIP hilda :'(

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specialmindz · 6 years ago

Photo

“YIP! YIP!”

A small annoying dog bounced around the two little skeletons, hoping for one of them to drop one of their tasty frozen treats.

“YIP, YIP YIP YIP!”

“i think he wants your ice cream bro...” said Sans slyly.

“ALL HE’S GONNA GET IS MAH FOOT UP HIS ASS! DIS MY ICE CWEAM! GO WAY DOODY-DOG!”

“YIP YIP!” The dog continued to run about, completely oblivious to the infant’s anger.

“pap, it’s melting.”

“*GASP!*” Frantically, Papyrus lapped at his cone, not wanting his hand and sleeve to get sticky and gross. He usually waited until his ice cream was gone before intentionally getting messy like a good baby, but this dog was proving to be quite a distraction.

“YOU WANNA DIE DOGGY? IS DAT WHAT YOU WANT? I USE YO’ FUR AS A BLANKY!”

“why don’t you just give him a little lick pap? just a little one.”

“Nyeh?” Pap looked at him quizzically. “You want me to lick da’ pup?”

“no-”

“I lick em’ on da’ snout?”

“no bro, you’re not listening to me.”

And the baby continued not to listen, giving the dog a small lick on the nose. Maybe if the doggy thought Papyrus was a friend, he would stop trying to get at his ice cream.

Friends didn’t take friend’s ice cream.

“There you go doody-dog! We friends now, so you go home.”

The dog pawed at his nose and whimpered, not liking how the air was now suddenly too chilly in that particular area.

“you’re so gross pap, heh heh heh!”

“Nyeh? YOU GOSS! I gots to protect mah cweam cause’ SOMEBODY won’t look after me!”

“i have one hp bro! whaddya’ want me to do, kick em’? he’ll bite me and i’ll die papyrus.”

“Throw a snowball then lazybones! Im-po-vise!”

“now if i do that, i’ll have to hold my cone in one hand or it’ll get dirty, and eventually my arm will get tired and then i’ll have a problem.”

“YOU HAVE A PROBLEM NOW!”

“not with these i don’t,” said Sans pulling out an old CD player and ear buds. The batteries were long dead, but luckily for him, Papyrus didn’t know that. He could pretend not to hear him as long as the infant didn’t start wondering why he never heard anything despite his older brother turning the volume up whenever he yelled.

“Why you gotta ignore the baby Snas? I gots a per-dicament over here and you’s not helping me...”

“...”

“...I hope you drop your stupid stink phallic ice cweam.”

“my ice creams not phallic!”

“Yes it is. Why you so cweepy Snas? Don’t you want friends?”

“I’M creepy?! my ice cream’s just like this, i didn’t make it! besides, who pretends his spaghetti noodles are snakes?”

“I does! Da’ meatballs be eggies,” said the baby smiling. “The biggest noodle be the mama snake and I’s the bird that gobbles em’ all up! Nyeh heh heh!”

“...”

“Then I eats the eggs.”

Sans chuckled and slurped up some juice from his popsicle. “you eat the eggs huh? you know there are babies in those eggs...”

“...Nyeh?”

“yep. little baby snakes.

“Nuh uh! The eggs be for the snake’s breakfast! People don’t eat babies!”

“uh, yeah they do bro. where do you think baby snakes come from? you think the mom just poops them out?”

“Yes.”

“no. no pap, they come from eggs.”

Papyrus’s eyes filled with tears. “I’s eating babies...?”

“uh..”

Oh crap!

“Nyeh…nyeehhh…”

“no! no no no, don’t cry! you’re PRETENDING to eat babies! your meatballs are made of meat pappy.”

“Meat of baby?”

“no bro, they’re probably made of magic.”

“Magic babies?”

“NO.”

Note to self, don’t feed Pappy eggs.

“Is dis ice cweam made of baby?” The baby bones held up his melting ice cream.

“*sigh* no bro, it’s not. just eggs.”

“But there be a talking snowman over in Snowdin. Maybe dis ice cweam be his baby!”

“nope.”

“But maybe it is! Maybe da’ ice cweam man be evil big Buther! Maybe he steals the snowman babies and sells em’ on da’ market!”

“…i highly doubt that.”

“I bet he do. I bet he evil as hell! You just like him cause’ he give you food.”

“hey screw you pal, I like him cause’ he’s cheap-”

“YOU CHEEP! YOU SELL YOUR MORALITY FOR SWEETS! You’s bad big Buther, you’s bad and I’m telling Daddy!”

“you do that.”

“I’m gonna! Imma tell upon you and destroy da’ ice cweam man too!”

“the hell you will! you leave that monster alone papyrus!”

“NYEH HEE HEE! IMMA SAVE DA’ BABIES!”

“GET BACK HERE!”

The infant took off like a bullet, the dog and Sans right on his heels.

“YIP YIP!”

“GET LOST DOODY-DOG! I’S RUNNING OVER HERE!”

“TRIP HIM! TRIP HIM DOG!”

“DON’T TRIP DA’ BABY!”

“YIP, YIP YIP!”

“Huh?” The ice cream man tilted his head from behind the umbrella of his cart to try and spot where the commotion was coming from. “Aw-hawww, are you three having fun?”

“RUN DUDE! FUCKING RUN!!”

“DIE BABY-KILLER!!”

BLOOSH!

Two Gaster Blasters fired in succession, one incinerating the ice cream man’s hat.

“AHHH! WHAT THE HELL KID?!”

“NYEHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!”

BLOOSH!

“WHY IS HE ATTACKING ME? SANS YOU SWORE HE WOULDN’T ATTACK ME!”

“YOU’S SELLING BABIES ON DA’ MARKET!”

BLOOSH!

“SANS GET YOUR CRAZY BROTHER!!” Screamed the cart-owner ducking down. It was a miracle he hadn’t been killed yet, but if this kept up…

“I’M TRYING! BRO STOP!”

“I GOTS TO SAVE THE BABIES SNAS!”

“THE ICE CREAM’S NOT MADE OF BABIES, IT’S MADE OF MILK!”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus stopped. “But is all frozen and-“ looking down at his ice cream, he saw that it was no longer frozen; the heat wafting in from Hotland had melted it, leaving only bits of magic strawberries behind.

“*SLUUURP!* EWWWW! Dis NASTY! It taste like medi-sin! You trying to get baby high? You work wit Jerry?”

“yeah pap. he’s the high cream man, heh heh heh!”

“…Go home Snas.”

“YIP YIP YIP!” The little dog joyfully lapped up the drippings of the cone, seemingly oblivious to the whole situation. The monster behind the cart was sadly however, NOT so ADHD.

“Why don’t you BOTH go home? Just-just all of you GO HOME.”

“wh-why me? What’d I do?”

“What’d you do? You made a joke instead of I dunno, maybe TELLING YOUR BROTHER NOT TO MURDER PEOPLE?”

“…it was just a joke. I was just trying to lighten the mood a lil’ bit, chill out.”

“It’s not the joke Sans, it’s the fact that you ignored what just happened. I’ve seen you two playing alone for a long time now and it’s because of THIS that you ARE alone. You can’t just ignore your brother’s dangerous behavior or it’s going to get worse-”

“whatever!” exclaimed Sans, highly offended. “who are you to tell me how to raise MY family? you don’t know me OR my bro! pap’s just a baby, i’m sorry he can’t control his emotions ALL the time! i’m not his dad anyway, he’s not MY responsibility-”

“You’re not much of a brother either. Why don’t you try a bit more discipline or something? If that doesn’t work, maybe you should consider putting him somewhere he can’t hurt people.”

“Nyeh…?”

“i’ll keep that in mind. in the meantime, maaaybe you should consider minding your own business?”

“You sending me away…?”

“of course not baby bro,” said Sans, kneeling down and placing a hand on the infant’s shoulder. “you mean the world to me! who’d want to get rid of such a cute baby anyway?”

“Dat’s too…but is also too dat you don’t gots many friends. Is dat really cause’ of me?”

“Of course not,” said a voice from around the corner. “These people are just idiots. Idiot cowards.”

“flowey!”

“Yes yes, it’s Flowey the flower. Here to save the day once again. What seems to be the problem here?”

“This baby-”

“That question was rhetorical. We OBVIOUSLY have another case of a full grown adult picking on a child. Shocker.”

“HE ATTACKED ME!”

“The baby attacked you? With what?”

“With his magic cannon things!”

“He attacked you with his magic?”

“Yes!”

“That thing that EVERYBODY has? That thing YOU have?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“…”

“Look, I know what you’re getting at talking…flower…but I can’t just fight a baby-”

“Why not? If Papyrus is being a turd-sandwich then Beat. His. Ass. Simple.”

“Um, Dirtbutt, you’s not helping me very good…”

“Who says I’m here to help you? Hit the road thumb-sucker.”

“GRR! NYEH!” With all the strength a little baby bones could muster, Papyrus angrily threw his empty cone at the big-mouthed traitor in front of him, hoping to at LEAST cover him in yucky pink goo. Instead it hit the wall with a *CUSH!* and merely splattered on the ground; Waterfall’s runoff quickly washing it away.

“Nice shot, you’re a regular Robin Hood-”

“STUPID STINK FLOWER!”

“bro, no! we don’t throw things!”

“Sometimes I do…”

“no we don’t!”

“But sometimes I do…”

“He’s trying to tell you that you SHOULDN’T throw things,” said the ice cream man preparing another cone. No doubt the baby would want another one and anyone’s G was good G in his opinion, especially in these hard times. The ice cream man was one of the more profitable jobs in the Underground because of the importance people placed on their children, but his image needed to be maintained. Calm, patient, and kind; that was the ice cream man, and he was good at it. Sans had even once called him the Nice cream man as a joke and more and more people were beginning to catch on to the name. Hopefully one day his son would take over the family business, but until then…

“Would you like another cone? This time be sure to stay away from Waterfall’s exit, it tends to get a bit hot there.” He held the cone out to the infant with a smile, hoping the brothers both would forgive and forget their little argument.

WHAP!

“NOBODY WANTS YOUR STUPID MEDICATED ICE CREAM!” shouted Flowey, slapping the cone out of the monster’s hand. Papyrus quickly caught it using his Wingdings and looked at it curiously.

“Dis health cweam? Dis good for the baby?”

“Yes it is,” replied the ice cream man glaring at the plant. “It’s a special blend that’s easy to eat and heals children too young for adult medicine and foods. That’s why it’s so popular…speaking of medication,” his glare softened. “Are you in need of first aid? You’re a plant, but you look like you just came from Hotland…”

“I came from the Lab actually. And do you know WHY I came from the Lab?”

“Oooh ooh! Pick me! Baby knows!”

“Yeah? I bet Smiley knows too, don’tcha buddy?”

“…is it because I left you there-”

“IT’S BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME THERE!!”

The ice cream man slowly began to move his cart away towards Snowdin, hoping no one would notice him leaving. He didn’t know who this flower was, but he’d served customers like this before. The extra G was NOT worth the headache he was currently getting…nor was a cave-in.

“how’d you get past the lava entrance?”

“I FREAKING RAN SMILEY!”

The tiny plant dipped his burning roots in one of Waterfall’s shallow puddles. For a moment there, he didn’t think he would make it. It took a massive amount of courage and Determination to even attempt the journey, but with the help of his cabin fever, he found the strength to take a chance at freedom. Now though he had another problem.

Where am I gonna find a new place to photosynthesize?

I had Alphys’s sun lamps in the Lab, but here…

“I need to find a place with good sun…”

“Da’ Ruins gots good sun…”

“Huh?”

“bro, you’ve seen the sun?!”

“Where? Where is it?”

I’m NOT going back to that stupid lab.

“Is where dat big-ass door be…and da’ doggy door.”

“YIP YIP!”

“Big door…?”

Flowey thought back a long time ago to when he and Chara used to explore the Underground. He remembered a bright field of flowers, but that was in the opposite direction in the throne room near their home…and it didn’t have a door.

A big door…a big door…

“Ugh, I can’t remember what you’re talking about!”

“Nyeh?”

“Uh, I mean, I HEARD about the door, from one of your dad’s phone calls, but I don’t remember what he said.”

“…”

“YIP YIP YIP!”

“SHUT UP FUR BAG! YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANY ICE CREAM!”

Was there ever a door Chara couldn’t get through? One with a doggy door?

“i wanna see the sun…” said Sans quietly.

“You wanna see da’ sun? Why big Buther? It hurt your eyes and make you hot.”

“the sun is the biggest star in the world though pap…”

“THE SUN’S A SPARKLY?!”

“yep, and it’s bigger than ANYTHING.”

“Bigger than Fluffy Buns?!”

“yep!”

“Bigger than yo’ head?!”

“…yeah.”

“If you’ve seen the sun Trashbag, then WHY are you asking how big it is?”

“…I only see it a widdle bit from a hole in da’ ceiling…and only sometimes. Is when da’ doody dog go home. There be a hole behind his com-poo-ter dat leads to the Ruins and udder paces too.”

“the dog...has a computer. right.”

“Where is this door?”

“just ignore him flowey, he’s obviously lying,” said Sans extremely disappointed.

“No he’s not.”

“how do you know?”

“Just trust me he’s not!”

We’ve had problems with this dog since we moved into the Underground.

The Annoying Dog was one of the smaller complaints the kingdom’s people had, but he was long lasting and weird. The little creature reminded Flowey of Papyrus in a way, causing problems wherever he went and getting away with it because he ‘didn’t know any better.’ He’d often heard of seemingly random items going missing from various places never to be found again. Some monsters claimed in horror, that they’d seen the dog absorbing some of the items into his body before scampering away, sometimes through the walls as if he were a ghost. The king warned everyone not to pet the Annoying Dog and to keep their distance whenever they could, but it seemed impossible to keep the hound out of any building. Many would cry out in terror upon turning around and suddenly seeing the legendary monster wagging his tail in their kitchen or living room, although the doors and windows were locked and they had been alone only moments before.

Chara had a strange fascination with the furry menace that Flowey always had a hard time understanding. Whenever the dog was spotted, they’d drop whatever they were doing and run after him, only to lose him in a wall somewhere. They’d then pound on the stone and search it for some sort of crease while Flowey let out a breath of relief from behind. The dog reminded him of Papyrus, true, but the absorbtion ability also brought back memories of a monster from an old VHS tape they had found at the Dump simply called the Thing.

He wanted nothing to do with this creature, no matter HOW much loot he had stored away.

I don’t have a choice anymore though. I need to go through this mutt’s tunnel if I want to find a place to gather energy.

“YIP YIP!”

“Da’ doggy door be in Snowdin. It gots the kingdom shapes on it and is reeeal tall! As big as a tree!”

“…Are you talking about that door in that cave with all the glowing mushrooms?”

“Yeah.”

“You idiot! That’s not a doggy door!”

“Is too! Is the door the doody dog uses! I sees it!”

“Stupid baby.”

“hey, c’mon now. the longer we fight the more pap’s ice cream melts. we need the dog to open the door, right? I mean, no one else has said anything about finding his house so…”

“Yep! Da’ doody dog gots to go inside first or it don’t open.”

“alright then, let’s go.”

“Right!” Flowey jumped up and wrapped himself around Sans. “ONWARDS DUMBO! TO SNOWDIN TUT TUT!”

“GET OFF ME!”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

Leading the dog with the ice cream, the three reached the cave and went inside.

“SEE? No doggy door.”

“Nyeh? You blind Dirt-Butt? Is right there!”

“That’s NOT a doggy door. Doggy doors have flaps!”

“bro, watch where you’re swinging that thi-aww! You got it all over my hoodie!”

“Nyeh heh heh, cweeeeen it up.”

“you clean it up!”

The Annoying Dog watched as a glob of strawberry ice cream slid down the side of Sans’ sleeve, almost hitting the ground.

“You want dis cweam doggy?”

He said nothing and continued to eye the glob expectantly.

“Open the door and I give you all da’ yumminess you can dweam of.”

Again, the baby was ignored as the dog licked it’s chops and shuffled his paws impatiently, waiting for the glob to fall.

“He’s not listening to you. Smear some ice cream on the door or something.”

“Kay’.”

Waddling over to the door Papyrus stopped and dropped down on all fours, holding his ice cream in the air with his Wingdings.

“What the hell are you do-”

“YIP YIP! I’s a baby doggy and I wish to pee on da’ carpet, but I can’t get inside. Oh woe is me! *WHINE*”

“Arf…?” The dog lifted an ear and tilted his head in confusion.

“Of all the stupid…”

“heh heh heh heh! go pappy! show em’ what you want!”

SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRITCH SCRITCH!

Using both hands, Papyrus scratched at the door as best he could, whining pitifully and using his font to communicate. This time, the dog DID listen, turning away from the glob on Sans’ hoodie and morphing through the wall in his patent disturbing way.

“Ugh, I hate seeing that.”

“did…that dog just go through the wall…?”

Weird…

“hm…well whatever, good job bro!”

Smiling, Papyrus rolled over onto his back and pushed at the door with both feet, opining it. Inside the dog stood on a patchwork blanket panting and grinning as always.

“That tunnel better be here you milk-puking-”

“Is under the com-poo-ter I said! Why you no listen Dirt-Butt? Dat’s how you learn things ya’ know?”

“*WHINE WHINE!*”

“Oh yeah! Here you go doody dog!” said Papyrus handing over his Ice cream. “Be sure to eat the cone too, cause’ littering is bad, right Snas?”

“right.”

The happy hound ate the entire thing almost immediately, licking his nose and sniffing around for any bits he may have missed.

“Nyeh heh heh! He eat like you big Buther!”

“Yeah he does, the PIG!”

“…”

“Speaking of pigs, you might not fit in here Smiley,” said Flowey inspecting the tunnel with a frown. “Maybe you should go home and eat some popato chisps, I don’t need an entourage anyway.”

“whatever! both of you can get bent, I can fit in there no problem!” exclaimed Sans, though he did have his doubts.

We definitely need to widen this tunnel or something if we ever plan to come back here. Papyrus is good at digging and building stuff, maybe he can do something about it later.

“NO you can’t, you’ll get stuck you moron.”

“no i won’t...”

“Fine, learn the hard way. What do I care? Just let me go first.”

“No! BABY goes first. I knows da’ way, you’ll just get lost like the Ugly Duckling. Member’ dat book Snas?”

“Did you just call me ugly?”

“yeah I remember the book, but more importantly, you’re telling the truth right? If there’s a maze of tunnels in here and we get lost, we’ll die pap. no one knows we’re down here…”

“YOU’RE ugly.”

“I knows the way, but you gots to follow mah butt kay’? Follow the baby butt and don’t go nowhere else. Even if you see a Veggie monster, you gots to follow the butt Snas, or you get lost. Lossa tunnels down here.”

“You’re ugly and you’re stupid.”

“iiii won’t wander off baby bro.”

Why do you two think I’d risk my life for some food? Do I really eat that much?

…

Nah, it’s probably my hoodie. My hoodie’s padded and it’s making me look fat. I should probably take it off before I crawl through here…

“Also don’t touch da’ butt, or I calls the guard.”

“No one wants to touch your butt you pervert! Well…maybe Smiley does, his drawings are weird-”

“THEY’RE SPACESHIPS!”

“But I’M the one who’s going to be behind you, not him.”

“But then who gonna push Snas if he get stuck?”

“No one. If this fatass gets trapped it’s HIS problem not mine. I already told him he wouldn’t fit; now let’s go.”

Nodding, the baby bones crawled under the desk and into the tunnel, Flowey following close behind. There were a lot of things the plant hadn’t checked out in the dog’s room; things Chara would’ve KILLED to inspect and/or steal, but Flowey had little interest in anything but finding some sun.

He could always come back anyway.

SCRUFF SCRUFF!

“Would you hurry up? The wet dog and baby smell is making me want to throw up.”

“Slow your roll Dirt-Butt. I’s Papyrus the Baby, not Sonic the Hedgehog. You wait.”

SCRUFF SCRUFF!

The three took a left and continued on at an annoying slow pace, being careful not to scrape themselves on the hard rocky walls. Especially Sans, who had had seconds thoughts about all this half-way through the journey. Every so often Papyrus would stop and look over his little shoulder to see if his brother was still behind him; he would then be rewarded with a thumbs up, though the baby could see he was struggling with the encroaching claustrophobia that seemed to be threatening even Flowey’s sanity at this point.

“OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU JUST HURRY UP? HE’S FINE!!”

“Shut da’ fuk up Dirt-Butt, or I kicks you in da’ face.”

“YOU JUST TRY IT! I’LL BITE YOUR LITTLE TOES OFF!”

“play nice you two, heh heh.”

“Shut up Smiley, you’re not my mom.”

SCRUFF SCRUFF!

Finally, the tunnel started to become wider and then wider still, eventually opening up into what looked like a cliffside of sorts. The place was an empty dead end that overlooked the mining city people called “Home.”

“uhh…I don’t think we’re supposed to be here baby bro…”

“Dis be the Old City where we gets da’ crystals Snas-”

“Correction; this is where we USED to get the magic crystals,” said Flowey. “Then some idiot screwed everything up and released a bunch of poisonous gas in the city’s mine.”

“Lossa monsters used to live here, but then there were too many babies, so they moved, but there still be peoples...”

“Are…are you not listening to me? NO ONE’S WORKING THERE, THIS PLACE IS POISONOUS, WE NEED TO MOVE.”

Sans nodded. “he’s right pap. not all gases can be seen; this place could be toxic-”

“Nuh uh! I’s here yeserday!”

“Bullcrap.”

“I ate a worm and climbed a rock, and sniffed da’ flowers like dis *SNIIIIIIIFFF!*”

“UGH, DON’T DO THAT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!”

“*SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF!*

“SMILEY GET YOUR BROTHER!”

“who built these ruins? did someone live here before we came? i don’t see people building half a home, if you can even call this a home, and then quitting in the middle of it to build another one.”

“HELLO?!”

“the architecture is completely different from the rest of the kingdom too…”

“SMILEY!!”

“you swear you were here yesterday bro? the gases haven’t reached this far yet?”

“*SNIIIFFF!* Yep. The sun place be dis way, but you gots to watch out for the traps, so follow the baby kay’?”

“I hate you, I hate you BOTH and once I find a new place to get some sun, I’m gonna live there for-EVER! I’M NEVER COMING BACK TO THAT NURSERY, DO YOU HERE ME? NEVER!!”

Ignoring Flowey, the brothers began their trek further into the Ruins. There were a lot more traps than Sans was expecting, but it only served to increase his excitement. More traps meant a higher chance of his younger sibling telling the truth, and these WERE traps. There were pits that led to small empty rooms that had no ladders to speak of, switches designed to confuse them hidden behind pillars in the dark, and there was even a room that couldn’t be crossed from one side unless you had something of considerable weight on three buttons in the ground…unless of course you were tall. That was what disturbed Sans the most; the fact that the traps seemed to be for small creatures who couldn’t step over the barricades. The further the three went, the more his excitement turned to fear as he realized the traps were NOT built by the monsters currently living in the Underground and they were clearly meant to cause suffering and eventual starvation.

This couldn’t have been Asgore’s work. I know he said he would gather souls from anyone who fell into the mountain, but these look like they were meant SPECIFICALLY for children…and I know he’s a good person. Besides, so far I’ve only seen one door that leads to the Ruins and he can’t fit through that tunnel, no way.

Who would BUILD things like this?

“these are horrible…”

“Hm? What are you complaining about?”

“the traps…you’ve been looking at the traps right flowey? they’re different…”

“So? Who cares about these stupid traps, they’re ruined anyway. SHE messed everything up. You’re getting scared over nothing; whoever lived here before is long gone…probably.”

Sans took a deep breath. Flowey was right, the traps had obviously been altered a long time ago and no one had come to fix them. The prison pits had been stripped of their doors and their floors laced with heaps of fallen leaves to break the fall of anyone who fell into them, having obviously been put there by someone seeing as the area lacked any trees. The switches built to confuse had been painted bright colors that could easily be seen, and even the room with the floor switches had been filled with rocks, one of which claimed had been placed there by someone they couldn’t see due to their lack of eyes.

“UGH, are you KIDDING me? She put instructions on the freaking WALLS? That’s so lame!”

“who’s this ‘she’ you’re talking about?”

Before the plant could answer, Papyrus lifted them all up with his wingdings and glided everyone, including himself, over the giant pit trap before suddenly speeding off into a room.

“HEY BRO, WAIT!”

“DID HE FIND IT? IS THIS THE ROOM?”

“*CRUNCH CRUNCH!*”

“…”

“hey uh, pap? you probably shouldn’t eat that…”

“LOOK SNAS! Candy. *CRUNCH CRUNCH!*”

“…”

“…you okay flowey?”

“…Never coming back.”

“Want some of dis candy Dirt-Bu-”

“NO!!”

They continued on, Papyrus’s onesie crinkling with the rest of the monster candy having been stuffed inside.

“FINALLY! DO YOU SEE IT SMILEY? DO YOU SEE THE PROMISE LAND?” The plant pointed excitedly towards a sunlit patch of flowers. “IT’S THERE! IT’S RIGHT THERE! WE’RE SO CLOSE!”

“yep, iii see it. don’t think we’ll be able to actually see the sun though from all the way down here…”

“*Yawn* I’s sweepy…I gets the shiny tomorrow, kay’ Snas? Is nap time for the baby…c’mon Dirt-Butt, we go home now.”

“NO! NO NO NO! DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T FREAKING TOUCH ME! I SWEAR I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU, PUT THOSE AWAY! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOOOOOWN!!”

“put him down bro, he can get back on his own, right flowey?”

“YES!!”

As soon as Papyrus desummoned his wingdings, Flowey took off with all the speed of a cheetah; racing for the sunlit patch that would be his new, and hopefully quiet, home, his leaves outstretched.

I’M GONNA MAKE IT!

With one giant leap the tiny plant dived into the flower patch and dug his roots into the warm soil triumphantly. “LOOK SMILEY! I MADE IT!”

CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK!

“Don’t patronize me you fat piece of-”

Sans stopped clapping. “what do you want from me?”

Ignoring the child, Flowey turned around and basked in the sun’s warm glow, spreading his leaves wide in order to collect as much energy as possible. This place was perfect. Bright, quiet, and tidy; it had a great view of the opening to Mt. Ebott that only someone who could stretch out as long as Flowey could see. A wonderful little lookout where he could not only spy approaching humans, but maybe even lure them in…after all, it’s not like sound couldn’t pass through the barrier. All he had to do was find someone stupid.

Just one. Good. Idiot.

Heh heh heh heh…

“uhh…dude, are you alright?”

“Dirt-Butt got dat scary face big Buther…”

“HA HA HA HA HA HA ALL THE SOULS WILL BE MINE! I’LL LURE THEM ALL IN! HA HA HA HA HA!”

“o-kay…we’re going on ahead. you catch up later alright?”

“NEVER COMING BACK! HA HA HA HA HA! UNSTOPPABLE! UNTOUCHABLE! UNDEFEATABLE! HA HA HA HA HA!”

“Nyeh…?”

“I’LL BE ALL POWERFUL! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

“we’re going now-”

“I’LL BE THE ULTIMATE RULER!”

“Bye Dirt-Butt!”

I’ll be a GOD.

#Fonttale #Fonttale au #Undertale #Undertale au #Flowey #Sans #Papyrus #kid sans #Baby Papyrus #Annoying Dog #funny #undertale fanfiction

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rickstexaschick · 6 years ago

Text

Random Picks, Chapter 5: Coach Sanchez, Part 1

You have to satisfy your PE credit before you can graduate. You thought this would be an easy option...

It was in the mid-90s when I went back to college to finish my degree, having taken the "long route" path through life to get there. A few years working at different fast food restaurants, then worked my way up through management at a retail clothing store at the mall... I even tried being the assistant to a family photographer -- who turned out to be less than family oriented in his handling of his employees...

"No" apparently didn't mean "no" to him; and the whole "Me Too" movement wouldn't happen for another 20 years.

Finally, even I had to agree with my patient and long-suffering parents and admit that I was getting to Nowheresville fast. So, I went back to school, taking mostly night classes wherever possible while working full time during the day, until I was down to the final semester, getting ready to register for those last few courses and then I'd be done. That's when my advisor told me that I wouldn't graduate without completing the 2 hour physical education requirement.

Christ. 28 years old and I still had to do Phys Ed?! It was so fucking stupid. I scanned the listing for the less-strenuous courses -- archery? bowling? Nothing held any appeal for me whatsoever. I still had a week or so to come to a decision and was sitting in the Commons area. I was “Slamming and Cramming,” which was basically slamming coffee and doing some last minute cramming for a final exam. I overheard 2 students talking about their racquetball class.

Ooh! Racquetball. I'd missed seeing that on the listing. I tuned out the students' remaining conversation and pulled out my worn and tattered copy of the next semester's course listings. Quickly flipping to the PE section---sure enough, there were 2 different classes offered. I had to pick the late one at 6pm, which would give me an hour break at the end of my work shift. Yuck, a PE class at 6pm. Oh well, it would have to do.

Fortunately I come from what you would call a Racquetball Fanatic Family. Other families did tennis or golf, ours was racquetball. My dad had gotten really into it, when it first became popular, and for a number of years he participated in semi-pro tournaments. Then he became a rep for one of the bigger equipment companies. My older brother did even better and started playing in junior tournaments when he was 15, then turned pro at 18 and continued doing it for years. Not that that was a lucrative thing, but still... Then he, too, took a job as a rep with the same company as my dad.

I dabbled in it, playing in junior tournaments here and there while I was in high school, but I wasn't as good as my brother or my dad, or maybe it just didn't appeal to me as much. And I didn't really want to travel around selling sporting equipment. So, that was my racquetball story. At least now it would pay off, and this would be an easy "A."

The semester ended and the new one started. I was standing in a long line at the textbook store, waiting to check out when a guy standing in the line next to me happened to see the slim, used copy of "Handbook to Racquetball" on the top of my stack of books.

"Racquetball, huh? Too bad you have to get Coach Sanchez this semester."

"Never heard of him," I said, hoping to avoid a long, drawn out conversation about some evil-tempered asshole. So often these types of stories had no basis in fact, were more Urban Legend than anything. The scary calculus professor who failed everyone, or the female English professor who would sleep with 1 or 2 of her male students and would let them miss every class and still give them A's.

"He came out of retirement to coach this semester. The regular coach was in a bad accident over Christmas."

We shuffled closer to the check-stands.

"You seem to know a lot about it," I said, finding my curiosity growing. At least, the accident story sounded interesting. I can rubberneck along with the best of them when it comes to passing a car pile-up on the road.

"I'm a Kinesiology Major — that's Phys Ed. Gonna be a professional trainer when I finish," he said proudly, swelling himself up, holding his stomach in and puffing his chest out. The guy looked the type---all bulky muscle, tanned, confident. Probably more muscle than brains, like so many jocks. He adjusted the heavy stack of books in his arms and continued.

"We heard all about Coach Radcliff's car accident -- he almost died. Anyway, the way I heard, this guy Sanchez was pro for long time. Taught here for a few years, then disappeared. That was a while back. Not the easiest guy to get along with, is what they say. Kind of an asshole."

Huh, I thought. I'd never heard of anyone with the last name of Sanchez, and the Racquetball World wasn't exactly huge... We each stood in silence after that. I paid for my books -- Holy Crap, these damn things were expensive. If only I would actually read them...maybe I'd have better grades.

The first day of class came and I was running late from work, of course. Story of my life... The course listing said that the first 3 or 4 classes would start in the classroom setting, so at least I wouldn't make myself any later by having to run into the locker room to change first. I opened the door to the classroom and was grateful when I realized that the door was in the back of the room -- so no "walk of shame" past everyone and the professor, interrupting the lecture.

I slipped into a desk at the end of a row as quietly as possible. The room was long and narrow and there was a tall guy sitting in front of me. I couldn't see the front without leaning past him and halfway out in the aisle, which I sure as hell wasn't going to do -- no need to draw anymore attention to myself.

"We-urp-ell. It l-l-looks like our star player, our celebrity has finally fuckin' arrived..." The man's voice was deep, rough. And sounded very annoyed. I looked around to see who'd come in behind me and realized to my horror that he meant me.

Oh shit. Please don't let this class, my last semester, be like this... Everyone in the room was looking at me. I felt my face burning and tried to slide down a little in my chair.

The guy in front of me had turned around sideways in his seat to look at me, giving me a clear view of the man at the front of the class. He was tall, lean, with a shock of blue-grey hair sticking out from his head in unruly waves. Like he didn't own a hairbrush. Even from the back of the classroom I could see his blue eyes piercing me. Damn! He was fucking sexy! I sucked my breath in and felt myself growing wet.

He frowned. "N-n-nice of you to join us. Y-y-you didn't feel the need to change?"

I looked around and realized, to my horror again, that everyone was in shorts and t-shirts and had their racquets.

"Um, sir," my voice croaked and I had to clear my throat and start again. "The course listing said that the first few lectures would be in the classroom. So I thought..." I trailed off lamely.

"Th-Then you thought wrong. Go change. Meet us on the courts. Everyone else, let's (urp) go."

I gathered up my things and headed for the locker room, my face still burning with embarrassment. How was it that I'd made this mistake, that everyone else knew to be in work-out clothes? Then I stopped in my tracks at the entrance to the locker room, my hand on the door. I didn't have any work-out clothes with me. I wasn't expecting to need any yet. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Now what?

I turned around and went to the racquetball courts. Coach Sanchez was trailing up the rear, the students having disappeared around a corner, and I caught up to him.

"Coach, I don't have anything with me. I wasn't expecting to play today. I'm sorry."

"Hhmmph." He refused to look down at me, barely acknowledged that I'd said anything. He continued walking, his long legs taking great strides and I struggled to keep up, taking two steps to his one. We got to the wing of the building with the courts, everyone was standing around, waiting for instructions. Coach paired everyone up and sent them off to the courts. He turned and looked down at me.

"Go wait for me -- go up on the gallery."

Some racquetball courts are designed with the rear wall made of plexiglass, so observers can watch. But being a classroom setting, this facility's courts were regular walled, with a viewing gallery on the second level so that the coach could look down on the various games and call out instructions.

I went up to the second level and set my things down in the corner. I peered down onto the first court and watched two students clumsily knock the ball around. I went from court to court and saw that this pretty much was the caliber of all the students in the class. I ended up above court #9 and watched two guys hitting the ball wildly, laughing at themselves. The tenth court was empty.

"This group f-f-fucking sucks." He was standing right next to me and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Can't believe they talked -- talked me into this shit." He pulled a metal flask from the hip pocket of his shorts and unscrewed the cap then took a deep pull. His long fingers were wrapped around the flask, his other hand rested on the rail, his fingers taping it lightly. I stared at them and wondered what they would feel like on my body... He offered the flask to me, nudging my arm. "Want some?"

"Uh, no thanks..." I was pretty sure it wasn't Gatorade in that flask. He stood uncomfortably close to me and I began to breathe quickly. Occasionally he'd lean into me, on the pretense of craning his head down into the court below to watch a player, but he didn't immediately move away afterwards. Soon he stayed pressed up against me. His skin was warm and I started to feel wetness and heat bloom between my legs as the skin of his arm continued to rub against mine. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and took a careful sideways step away from him. I could feel his eyes on me, but I kept my gaze steadfastly downward, pretending to watch the game below.

"Hhmmph," he chuckled. "All r-r-right. You can take off -- you can go. Be here, be back Thursday, fucking on time and ready to -- you're gonna play for me." He looked me up and down, smirking.

I stammered a goodbye, thanking him, then gathered my things and left. My legs were so weak I nearly tripped down the stairs.

When I got to my car and started the engine, I had to sit there for a few minutes, waiting for the throbbing in my pussy to go away. God, what was it about this man that made me so fucking horny? Everything about him screamed "drunken lech" but all I could think about was him fucking me. I wanted to reach down and rub my clit, finger fuck myself right there. I took a quick look around the parking lot and didn't see anyone. Coast clear. Being winter, it was already dark out...should be safe enough.

I reached a hand down inside my pants and leaned over the steering wheel to hide myself. Then I slowly rubbed my clit, thinking a quick orgasm would ease my tension before I drove home. Reaching further, I pressed two fingers deep inside and began to stroke, thinking about his tall body, those elegant, long fingers...I was breathing heavily and sweating, I felt myself coming close --

A hard rapping on the driver's side window brought me back to reality and I yanked my hand out of my pants but stayed bent over the steering wheel. Oh my God, here I was, caught masturbating in a school parking lot by the campus police. What the fuck had I been thinking?! I was too afraid to look up, but then the hand rapped on the window again. I turned my head and it was Coach Sanchez. He motioned for me to roll the window down.

"Y-you left without the -- without a copy of the syllabus." His eyes gleamed and his smirk was positively lecherous. He looked down at my hand where I had it down on the seat and I imagined that my fingers were dripping with my juices. I was mortified. I wanted to melt down into the floor boards of my car.

"L-L-Looks like you, uh, you could use some help there."

I cleared my throat, "Um, no. I'd dropped my ID under the seat. Was just trying to find it..." It was such a blatant lie. I couldn't look him in the face.

"Uh huh. Here." He leaned into the window and handed a copy of the syllabus in to me. I could smell the faint odor of liquor on his breath. "I let those fools out -- I let class out early. Wanna get a drink?"

Now I really was mortified. My coach had caught me masturbating in the car...Surely he knew I was thinking of him, and now he was asking me out for a drink? My mind raced. I can't say that I wasn't tempted...There was something about him. Duh. Obviously. But, no. I'd already had one affair with a professor. It ended badly. His wife had found out about us. Threatened to have me kicked out of school -- but this would have ended her husband's career, so fortunately she didn't say anything. I couldn't put myself through that again.

"Thank you, Coach Sanchez, but I worked all day and I'm really tired. I think I'll just head home."

"Tired, huh? D-d-don't let that be your -- affect your performance in the future." He straightened up and stepped away from the door, rapping on the roof twice with his knuckles. "See you -- see you on Thursday."

Grateful at finally being released, I rolled up the window and backed out and drove away. I looked in my rearview mirror. He remained in the same spot, watching my car until I turned down the row of the parking lot.

tbc

This was originally posted on Archive of Our Own:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15708732/chapters/36759801

#Rick and Morty Rick Sanchez Coach Sanchez AU Rick RicksTexasChick

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dakotasraspen-blog · 7 years ago

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Why the deck of many things is a bad idea and I hate it

I just had a very long and quite fun table top RPG session (fun for me, the DM); I may put up a synopsis, but not right now.

Due to illness, Thanksgiving, and family stuff, the game had been put off for three weeks. Because of this long wait between games a few members of my group were going a bit stir crazy, so I decided to put on the best show I could.

At the moment we are playing the Dresden Files fate game. My players had a battle with some giant ghouls, a ‘friendly’ run-in with a master black court vampire, and some rather nasty fairy tricks on my part.

I kinda feel bad, but sometimes it’s nice to see your players hit a really fucked up roadblock.

On that note, I want to write a little piece about DMing. I might make this a regular thing, I might not. Here we go.

Do you hate your party? Did you pick the Forgotten Realm setting and they came at you with: a gnomish cowboy who speaks in a terrible southern accent; a man playing a woman who won’t stop hitting on everything she sees; the rogue who cant stop stealing things and keeps fucking the party over; and, the guy who made the blackguard CE joker “some men just want to watch the world burn” type, when everybody else is good or neutral?

Do you want to see your party suffer, and die a slow painful death? Do you want a whole session based around one item? Do you think watching your game melt like styrofoam in gasoline is a fun idea? Give them a Deck of Many Things.

At first glance, the Deck of Many Things is a cool as hell item. It combines power, danger, great wealth and total destruction. Its considered a Legendary Item! and seems like the perfect thing to put at the bottom of some horribly deadly dungeon. So the new DM does this - They put it as the final great reward. I’ve done this, you may have done this. Then we saw what it did to the party and we despaired.

For those who don't know, the Deck of Many Things is represented by a deck of 22 playing card that you draw from. Before a player draws she need to declare how many cards she will take. After she declares and start drawing, nothing short of death or the intervention of a god can stop her.

The options in the deck range from giving the player a castle infested with horrible monsters, giving the player a large amount of gold, giving the player a free level, or trapping the player under the earth for the rest of eternity (or in another dimension, or in a crystal guarded by some bad ass monsters - it depends on the edition).

The problem here is that some cards in the deck will instantly kill a character. This is bad. In a low level game or a game with strict rez rules this sucks for the player. Sometimes it’s worse than death. The above example of trapping them underground puts a character out of the game forever unless the group has a high level wizard and a lot of elbow grease. This means that recovering the character may take several sessions totally derailing what you, the DM were, planning - not to mention forcing the player make a throw-away-character, or just sit the sessions out. Both of these options have their own problems and they are just not very fun.

You’d think that knowing that drawing a card could totally remove your character from the game would dissuade the players. It doesn't. They see that free level or that cool castle and they draw.

Maybe the player declares she will draw one card. And she does. And hey! It’s some nice effect, a level 5 follower, a couple thousand gold. Nothing game breaking and it gives a nice perk.

Encouraged, the player sees this cool thing and thinks maybe they can get away with another draw. So they draw again, two cards. This time maybe they get a shiny magical item, and a mini-death gets summoned that they have to kill. They kill it and think “Cool!, maybe I can draw again and get that golden apple of a free level”, arguably the single best thing any item in the book gives you.

This goes on for a while. They keep drawing until they fuck themselves over and they get removed from the game

It may not happen all at once, but unless the deck gets taken away from them it will eat one character every couple of sessions.

This can all be attributed to the fact that its pretty much gambling. They draw and get hooked, and then they continue to draw until they can’t anymore. It works like a slot machine - one with a car battery clamped to your balls/labia that shocks you every time you don't win anything.

In my opinion this is the worst cursed item in the game. The really fucked up thing about this item is that it doesn't just kill the players, it kills the game. The whole game. Every session becomes a game of chicken with this fucking deck. Any horrible monster, any deals with evil demons, any grand feast with intrigue and poisonings, gets shunted to the side.

“Phew, that fight with Azagalanarailalanara the Defenestrator is over. He sure was a tough opponent, especially when they called in the battle Balrogs! Why did we do this?” shouts the Barbarian.

“Prisoners, I think,” says the Wizard

“Its the princess, you dumb bastards,” says the Rogue who, has been trying to get into her pants the whole game .“ Am I the only one who takes notes?”

“Yes,” groans the party.

“I hate you people.”

“So, let’s go grab the prince before the phase spiders drain him of his fluids and make him into decorative art,” says the Wise Druid.

“Great plan,” says the Rogue, with a massive eye roll.

“Wait,” says the Barbarian, “this fight was stacked against us!”

“Sure was," says the Wizard. “The gods don’t seem to like us very much, maybe they should calm the encounters down.”

The rocky ceiling starts to tremble.

“I hate you,” says the Rogue.

“Well, we just overcame some impossible odds, what do you guys say we draw a couple cards?” says the Barbarian.

“No!” choruses the party.

“I’m doing it!” yells the Barbarian. “I shall draw three cards from thee, oh Deck of Many Things.”

“It can’t hear you, you don't need to be so theatrical,” says the Druid.

He draws a card. A mini-death gets summoned and he smashes it to dust. He draws another. A deed to a castle appears in his hands.

“Ooh, we should go there next,” says the Rogue.

The DM groans as his planned story dies a sad, forgotten death.

“Yeah that could be cool. I always wanted a castle,” says the Wizard.

“Third card,” says the DM.

“Oh yeah, right,” says the Barbarian.

He draws a card and gets instantly turned to dust. The deed falls to the ground.

“Eh, I didn't like him anyway,” says the Druid.

“What she said,” says the Rogue.

“So, we should save these peasants or whatever and go clear this castle,” says the Wizard.

“Princess,” says the Rogue, thinking about stealing the wizards spell book.

“I don't care,” says the Wizard already thinking about he’s going to do with this new castle.

Annnd there goes your story. It’s over. Now its Castle Fun Times. They kill all the baddies and then the game devolves into making a peasant rail gun or bullying people into joining their militia.

Have fun making that interesting.

Soon the whole party will die, over and over. And you will hate them, because they keep drawing from the fucking deck. Then you’ll kill the party with a dragon fart or whatever, and switch to vampire, because by now you really want to see your party suffer.

I’m not the first person to write this article, nor shall I be the last. I just want to do my part.

Bye for now, Dakota S. R. Aspen.

#d&d 5e #Deck of many things #Dresden files #Dmthings #Rocks fall everybody dies but its slow and painful and you want to strangle each and every member of your party for doing this to you

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kirikinni · 8 years ago

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Falling In Glove With You- Taekook/Yoonseok Fluff (part2)

Part 1

It was four in the evening on a weekend when Jungkook walked into the apartment. Despite being covered in sweat he had the biggest smile on his face and he was positively glowing with happiness. He dropped his gear in the storage room and walked into the kitchen where Yoongi was loudly complaining to Namjoon.

“I’m telling you Namjoon, this is all a trick, he’s trying to con our team into giving him our game strategies.” Yoongi said and scooped out ice cream from the tub, “He’s a fucking witch and I refuse to be tricked.”

“Or maybe it’s just a drink.” Namjoon said as he stirred the pot.

“He’s right you know. Hoseok probably just wants to have a drink with you. You’re admittedly much nicer when you have a few drinks in.” came Seokjin’s voice from the iPad sitting nearby, “Joonie, Joonie honey not so much chili. You want spicy, not flames shooting out of your ass.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Namjoon said, he was trying to make curry but he had absolutely no idea how to so he rang up Seokjin. Namjoon’s culinary ability had definitely become better ever since he met Seokjin, it actually only began to exist once he met Seokjin. Namjoon would burn the pans on the regular before.

“No you don’t understand he is evil. Pure fucking evil.” Yoongi stated, a little louder than necessary.

“Hyung, you think everyone is evil.” Jungkook said and walked up to them, stealing the spoon from Yoongi and putting a spoon in his mouth.

“Fuck off, why are you so smiley? Where did you go?”

“Practice.” Jungkook replied and went to see what Namjoon was cooking in the pot.

“You’ve been going to practice a lot recently and I checked with the boys, you aren’t with going with any of them. What’s going on, maknae?” Seokjin asked.

“Nothing hyung, I just found a practice partner.” Jungkook said trying not to blush.

“And who is this practice partner?” Seokjin mused.

“Thenewplayerintheotherteam.” Jungkook rambled out.

“I’m sorry can you repeat that but like in an actual language thank you.” Yoongi said, sass dripping through every word.

“The-um-new player in the other team.” Jungkook whispered, his neck turning red.

“What?!” Yoongi exclaimed and flew across the kitchen and grabbed Jungkook’s shoulders. “You can’t associate with the enemy.”

“Hyung stop it, we’re just practicing and he’s not the enemy. He’s super nice.” Jungkook replied, looking down at his brother. It was quite a funny sight really, Yoongi was quite a bit shorter than Jungkook but he was holding onto Jungkook’s collar and looking at him with such fierce light in his eyes and Jungkook was looking down at his brother,

completely limp.

“Stop blaming him for something stupid Yoongi, he didn’t do anything. The boy was just practicing.” Seokjin said loudly, in a scolding manner.

“You know what?” Yoongi said and let go of Jungkook, he picked up his spoon and pointed it at Seokjin like he had just uncovered the greatest mystery in all of history, “It’s all Hoseok, it’s all his fucking fault. He used his slimy little brain and stuck you two together, he knew you wouldn’t be able to resist that pretty boy and that the pretty boy wouldn’t be able to resist all of your you.” Yoongi exclaimed, motioning to Jungkook with his spoon at the end.

“Ya hyung you’re probably right, Hoseokie hyung is a downright evil guy.” Jungkook said.

“Mhm, wait what did you ca-” Yoongi wasn’t able to complete thanks to Jungkook cutting him off.

“In fact, you should go out for that drink with him tonight and find out his exact purpose. You know what, go take a shower now. If you really want to trick him then you gotta make him believe it.” Jungkook said, quickly pushing Yoongi out of the kitchen and into his room.

Jungkook walked back to the kitchen and sunk into the chair with a content sigh.

Namjoon and Seokjin shared a look with each other, it was surprising how in sync they were even when one of them was on the other side of town and was communicating through an emotionless robot.

“Kookie, what do you want for dinner? Seokjin hyung is coming over so he’s gonna cook.” Namjoon said.

“Ooh um stew and pasta.” Jungkook said, excited at the prospect of eating Seokjin’s cooking again.

“Deal okay, I’ll make whatever you want given that you go shower now and by the time I arrive actually look decent.” Seokjin said through the iPad, said a quick goodbye to Namjoon and cut the call.

Jungkook looked at Namjoon for a few seconds blinking before he raced off to his own shower. Namjoon sighed to himself and continued to stir the curry, one of his roommates refused to accept his feelings and the other was the most naïve little thing.

Yoongi was the first to come out of the room, he had on a pair of black skinny jeans and a black button up. His blonde hair was messy and disheveled. Namjoon looked up from his book and sighed a bit, he got up and opened the top few buttons exposing Yoongi’s milky chest and he folded up the sleeves. He pulled the shirt out of the tuck a bit so it was a little ruffled and ran his hands through his hair, pulling in a few directions.

Namjoon stepped back to admire his work and smiled. Yoongi looked positively delicious in the gayest way possible.

“Okay you can go now, just remember to use a condom.” Namjoon said and pushed Yoongi out of the door giving him no chance to respond. He then called up Hoseok to warn him about Yoongi’s pretense for coming and Hoseok simply laughed. Even to Namjoon, Hoseok’s laugh sounded like a thousand tiny angels were singing. It was beautiful.

Seokjin arrived before Jungkook could get out of his room. He was greeted by a kiss from Namjoon and they sat for a while discussing how they would deal with Jungkook’s huge crush until Seokjin decided that it was time for him to start cooking.

After a while Jungkook emerged from the room with a black t-shirt tucked into skinny jeans and a shirt on top, unbuttoned with motorcycles printed on it. His hair was also a mess thanks to the shower and blow-drying, but it was a very post-sex kind of messy and Seokjin warned Jungkook against touching it. Jungkook helped Seokjin cut a few things here and here, stir the pot once in a while, pour the sauce, all simple basic things so the process would go quicker. Jungkook and Namjoon were setting the table when the bell rang and Jungkook looked up at Namjoon with a confused look, he wasn’t aware they were expecting company.

“I’ll get it.” He called out and jogged to the door, he opened the door expecting one of Seokjin’s friends or maybe someone from the grocery store or maybe it was Drug Addict Molly from upstairs finally coming to return Jungkook’s stapler and Namjoon’s right shoe.

He was expecting someone normal and boring to show up at the door, but what he wasn’t expecting was Kim Taehyung, with red hair and adorned in a white sweater. Yet there he was, in all his godlike beauty standing in front of Jungkook with a wide smile.

“Hey, Kookie.”

#taekook fluff #yoonseok fluff #taekook #yoonseok #namjin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jeon jungkook #min yoongi #jung hoseok #bts baseball au #yandere yoongi

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 5 years ago

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Rolling out the tags soon.

Sacred Beasts 2

“Sissy” always pissed me off as a nickname for your sister. It’s clearly meant as a term of endearment in some cases, but it also is the equivalent of “wuss”, y’know???

I’ve seen mushroom soup out of a tin…that don’t look like mushroom soup in that case.

Uh, random question…she has th same surname as Will, but is Schaal herself adopted???

Y’should’ve followed Hank, Nancy…(is her name Nancy or Schaal? Schaal is her middle name, yet she seems more commonly referred to as Schaal…hmm.)

*sees synopsis* - No one mentioned Nancy’s hometown was called Livletwood Village…

I pause my shows a lot to get down these notes…then Crunchyroll or my internet (or both!) cursed me with regular buffering (that can sometimes play video and subs through it, but generally sets down a few seconds after unpausing and lasts for a minute) and made it a pain in the butt to make these notes. But you do realise I basically have notes for almost every show I’ve ever watched under this system? These notes are special to me, which is why I put up with the buffering. It also means impactful scenes lose their impact, meaning well-paced shows get favoured in my picking process on CR these days.

Astra 2

Yup, the 2nd time we talk about how to scavenge for food this season – gotta remember this…in case I ever get into a situation like that. You never know! (creates “The More You Know” star with hands)

I-awwwwwww…I never thought I’d see the day where the Luca Javelin would get animated, much less Astra as a series. Dang, is this a dream???

Eyyyyy. Nothing like endangering your little sister to really understand why you love her…much less understand that you love her in the first place. (partially sarcastic)

Given 1

This is my second rodeo with BL anime (I’ve only read one BL manga and it was pretty darn mediocre, but the one BL game I tried was okay)…hopefully it’s good.

Was there the ticking of a clock in the background???

…and cut to OP. Yay! I can predict when the OP happens now…(It only took me years of training…okay, I’m kidding.)

I think this OP is like a music video…and I think that’s the point.

Kaji??? Is this Eva (LOL)?

I’m no band person – I was merely a solo pianist in my time with music, although notably I did have to sing for one of the musical pieces – but “Thom Yorke” and “Keith Richards” sound familiar. Why???...Okay, so it seems Thom Yorke is part of Radiohead and Keith Richards is part of the Rolling Stones. I’m familiar with those bands by name, at least.

Lemme guess…this guy (Ritsuka) sucks at improv.

I had to go back and find out what Yayoi said a few lines ago…and love her already because she’s like “You suck”…she’s just like me, to be honest.

Early husbando predictions say Haruki is my dude of the season.

Seeing manly dudes act like blushing schoolgirls is great…!

Yushiro-who???...Okay, Yushiro Ishihara is apparently that’s a singer that’s already passed away, but has a bit of a rep behind him.

Is it just me, or is Ritsuka basically a lesser Bakugo…?

Come to think of it, it would be hard for me to teach someone piano now that I haven’t properly played since the end of 2014…almost 5 years. Geesh, that’s a long time.

Welp, that was…actually pretty good. The only thing that sucks is that this ED isn’t rock, to go with the rest of the show.

DanMachi II 1

Another counterintuitive name for a sequel anime season…this is my last premiere before I wrap them up, or at least until Machikado Mazoku (or whatever) land on CR.

…and of course, it’s back to Big Boobies (aka Hestia). She’s probably the worst part of the show for me.

Why does Bell need an advisor anyway…? I never thought about it when watching s1.

Who’s this Naza-sama, anyway…?...Okay, it seems she’s a doctor from the Miach Familia. I don’t remember her from s1, really.

I’ve forgotten who Asfi is as well…Oh yeah, that blue-haired woman from the Hermes Famlia. Hermes seems like a bit of a loose cannon – the sort who wouldn’t have a Familia if given the chance – though.

I think we saw Freya in s1…just scheming behind the scenes…

Hermes looks like a sleazebag half the time he’s on screen…

I forgot how much I loved Miach’s character design in s1...and to a lesser extent, Takemikazuchi.

Demon Slayer 15

…Zenitsu is annoying again.

I didn’t think Tanjiro was scared of anything…excpt maybe losing Nezuko again.

Oh! I just realised Natagumo has a hint in its name…The “gumo” can be read “kumo”…as in cloud or spider, but it’s given with the kanji for spider so it can only be a spider-related problem on Mt Natagumo.

I’d hate to have Smellovision on this show…(What’s Smellovision, you ask??? Here, read up on it…at least, I was thinking of the Google variant, so read up on the Google version.)

Ukogi appears to be a type of plant known as eleutherococcus and ukogi rice is rice with ukogi leaves.

Dr Stone 2

Episode 3’s title is like “Weapons…of SCIENCE! *cue Bill Nye the Science Guy theme song*”

Ooh, nice angle! (on Senku and petrified!Yuzuriha being protected by Taiju…and not just because Yuzuriha’s butt is showing…)

“You can eat lion?” – No duh, Taiju!

“I want to give thanks to the circle of life…” – Sorry, but can I interrupt with a meme here? *cue ululations that ae meant to imitate the iconic song from The Lion King, y’know, the one that goes “Ahhhhhhh zee bun yah… (etc.)”*

Tsukasa’s frickin’ tall, man! Look at him tower over Taiju and Senku…

Having read the manga before, I just realised Tsukasa is mighty suspicious when he says Senku could be able to rebuild civilisation from scratch. That was harder to recognise in manga format though, I think.

I also didn’t realise, but the shell tale is talking about Tsukasa! Hmm…interesting.

Dr Stone’s ED…never in my life did I think it was going to be a rap song. Unless, of course, it’s a science rap…(There’s hydrogen and helium and lithium, berrylium…uh, I don’t remember the words after that…)

Oh, that next-ep font takes me back…it reminds me of the 90s, where terrible WordArt font like that was everywhere and I had to get by on Lucida Calligraphy.

Fruits Basket 14

Oh, crab meat…these CGI cars look absolutely terrible…

Pay attention to the relationship between Kyo and Kyoko…you people who don’t know about manga!Furuba are in for a real revelation on that front.

Wow, the effects on the flowers are really pretty for the ED…

Cop Craft 2

That OP is just so good…*swoon*

Well…they spelt “Unknown” wrong…on Kei’s phone.

Hmm…I think the insert song was in English.

Astra 3

Oh…something didn’t make sense. It turns out the word the subber is using is “attitude” when it should actually be altitude…

Given 2

Ooh, Haruki does coffee in the OP! I didn’t notice that, since I had to skip it…there’s some kinda suckish buffering on CR, which is why I have to skip as much as I can.

Welp, I’m a pianist. I’m as clueless as any other non-guitar player when it comes to guitars, so I don’t mind the lesson but also don’t need it.

Given this is a BL/yaoi (no pun intended), I think Akihiko and Haruki should pair up…but maybe I’m just going nuts with the shipper glasses here.

“You’re going to have to do something about that soon.”

Aye…I relate, Mafuyu. When you’re younger, you can beg your parents for money, but equipment, books etc. really costs some hard cash. I remember having to go to Hong Kong to find a pearl pink metronome on the cheap…the poor thing isn’t getting much use now. (But still, I think the more I watch and see Haruki in action, the more I like him. Not necessarily as a husbando, but more in the sense of that one cool dude you gravitate towards.)

It randomly cut to Salon Harusame…don’t tell me this is how Haruki gets his money???

I think the comment that said “lolol” actually had 超 in front of it, so that would be “super lololol” or, in my personal way of saying it, “major lololol”.

Oh, so that’s what was in the OP!

I swear Uesama (LOL) should just get a job as a guitar tutor to little kids…well, that would work if he were in college/uni, maybe.

Hey, a girl! Didn’t expect one in a BL work…(LOL, my standards are so low for BL/yaoi, eh?)

Hmm…I get the feeling amateurs get their hands on acoustic models instead. I know a guitar player, y’know (although again, that doesn’t mean I know the first thing about playing a guitar).

I love how the show turned green all of a sudden. The colours match the mood, basically.

Demon Slayer 16

This episode’s titlecard only has a wave pattern…I probably know what the pattern is called, but I’ve…probably forgotten that name.

Hey, a Demon Slayer girl! (My standards seem to have been lowered in regards to seeing gals in leading or even supporting roles…It’s more acceptable for Demon Slayer, given its historical setting, but still, how sad it is to not see many girls…)

(TW: abuse) Why…for some reason, this feels like an abusive household, specifically where the father does evil things to the mother…but this time, the son’s part of the problem.

I find it funny Zenitsu just calls Inosuke “Wild Boar”. To be fair though, I don’t think Inosuke introduced himself to Zenitsu, way back when they were meant to.

This scene where Zenitsu is crying and has his back turned to the “camera”…they clearly used a CGI model for him.

It’s a BODY! Holy s(BLEEP)!

“Chu-Chu chuuuuun!” Oh my glob, Ukogi is so adorable~!

Hey…where was Ukogi hiding before he chose to come out again?

Another CGI model when Zenitsu walks away from the camera. It’s so dark, nobody can see Ukogi…I don’t think he has a CGI model and that’s good.

I had a weird thought, but…I think Tanjiro would be a good breakdancer, if he were living in 2019.

Inosuke, you did it! But I wonder if those stats are correct and Inosuke’s going to call his name properly at climactic moments…?

Cop Craft 3

Brother Kenny…you’re just lewd.

“…O or V or A.” – Aside from OVAs, hmm…O would be (CENSORED), V I don’t know about and A…I don’t know either, but I guess it’s (CENSORED).

Kei Manoba (sic).

Doreany seems to be humanity…Did they already introduce that? I forget.

This show looks pretty bad, but the story makes the stay worth it.

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