#regrets 0 myles 1

[thatonegaybrit]

; I FINALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO W MY LEGS WHEN I'M LYING DOWN HAVAUAVSG ??!

; it's heavy, tight, doesn't mess up the sheets, I can itch my feet without moving and messing up how I'm lying down, I scare anyone who looks at how I sleep, it's enough sensory input that I can focus on it && ignore everything else, but not too much that it's overwhelming, I can fidget for extra stimulation. HAH. I'm so smart I love myself

[hhemeraa-a]

Rules: Answer the questions you’re given, write 11 of your own and tag 11 people.

(1.) Is there anything you dislike about the character(s) you play? OC or otherwise?  How difficult he can be. He doesn’t make plotting or interactions easy for anyone and it’s hard to be spontaneous with him unless he’s under some influence. It gets bothersome at times when you see muses you as the mun like, but know your OC would never have anything to do with them. 

(2.) How many languages can you speak?  I can only speak English. I took over 2 years of Mandarin but still couldn’t properly speak it, though I can read it pretty decently. Same with Japanese - took 4 years but at most can just read it. I understand a lot of Spanish and some Korean. I took Arabic in high school, but I suck at it. Only know like 3 words now. 

(3.) Where did you first go on vacation?  I remember as a child when my parents were still together, we went on a road trip from Chicago all the way to Disneyland in California. We went through Colorado, I got to hand feed a giraffe, I fell on a cactus, I cried about not being able to go on the monorail, had my first BBQ sauce pizza (which I hated) -- I think that was my first vacation. 

(4.) Do you have any potentially-unpopular opinions about your character or the fandom that they’re involved in?  Since Myles started off as a Starfighter OC, I guess you’re asking me if I have any unpopular opinions on Starfighter? Do you have 8 hours?  I understand that Starfighter is/was supposed to be a smut comic and was actually supposed to stop after “chapter 1″ but got so popular that the author decided to continue writing it. I understand that a majority of the plot is based around two dudes fuckin’ and I understand that expecting or asking for more than that is silly.

BUT THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL JUST WASTED. THE WHOLE REASON I EVEN FUCKIN JOINED THAT FANDOM WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT BETTER AND YOU KNOW WHAT?  I fucking did. Hamlet gives such a great basis and outline for amazing world building that just ends up falling flat because the story is focused on well detailed dick draws (which are great btw, I won’t slight her for that). The concept of the last surviving humans fighting against an alien collective using their own tech against them just gets my dick hard, but all of that is sort of thrown to way side and lost under “who emotionally betrayed who” and “I love you now even if I didn’t at the beginning” nonsense. You can still have a great romance story OR EVEN PWP?? But establish it in a world that makes fucking sense. There are all of these aspects that we’ll never get answers on that she’s just thrown into the story as a vehicle to get to the next sex scene and it just rustles my fucking jimmies. 

I had to stop writing in the fandom because I honestly am incapable of writing with the new people who come in -- nothing against them and their writing abilities, I’m sure they’re great, but everyone always comes in like “I’m looking for an Abel for my Cain” or vice versa, or just some smutty locker room pwp and weird Commander Daddy Doms -- just things I’ve read over and over and over again that have just become absolutely bland. 

DID YOU KNOW??? There are whole constellations?? of crystals floating through space? Shattered diamonds and acidic clouds?? Did you know?? that there are 3 different theorized ways to bend space and time to create warp drives? Could you imagine being the final ship BSG style trying to float your way to what essentially might be your grave in space avoiding stars that are literally eating each other so that you can fight an alien race that has destroyed not only one, but many of your species homelands??? 

BUT WAIT, LEMMIE GET A DICK IN THIS SPACE CRAFT FOR A MINUTE AND WE CAN BICKER ABOUT HOW U LOOK LIKE MY EX.KJDHGJKGHKDJGHS IT JUST MAKES ME SO MAD. DONT GET ME STARTED, I FEEL VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT SPACE.

(5.) How many kids would you like in the future? 0 is also an acceptable answer!  z e r o -- I can barely take care of myself, how am I supposed to take care of another life??

(6.) Have you ever broken down into tears because of writing a roleplay scene?  No, idk, I don’t get that emotional about things? Last time I cried was because I was on drugs after my surgery and there was no ice for my tea. 

(7.) Where did you first get started roleplaying?  Gaiaonline.com sgjkdhskgjs  I still have my account. 

(8.) Quick! Make a list. FIVE FILMS TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE.  That I haven’t seen already??? uhhhh UHHHHHH 1. Schindler’s List 2. Breakfast At Tiffany’s  3. Shape of Water  4. Hurt Locker 5. 13 Assassins 

(9.) If we had to ask your friends to explain you in five words or less, how do you think that they’d describe you?  avoidant, funny, no-shit taking, emotionally strong, positive ((I guess????))

(10.) What is one of your life mottos that helps you get through each and every day?  “No regrets.” “No excuses, nobody cares.” “But will it kill you?”

(11.) Do you feel comfortable writing NSFW themes? Hahahahaha WELL.  Yes - I’m comfortable with plotting out the nasty nast, but when it comes to actually writing it? It takes me forever because I get really really really embarrassed. I once talked to Lex about lube and it was just me screaming uncomfortably for about 15 minutes, but ask me about nasty fuckin and I gotchu. 

Rules: Answer the questions you’re given, write 11 of your own and tag 11 people.

(1.) Hardest thread/plot you’ve ever done and why? Did you complete it? (2.) A song that triggers a memory and what happened (3.) Favorite subject in school (4.) Do you have any potentially-unpopular opinions about your character or the fandom that they’re involved in? (5.) Would you chose to be immortal? (6.) Have you ever considered veganism / vegetarianism? Why or why not?  (7.) Who/What was your first OC? Describe them. (8.) Be honest... how honest are you with your friends? Your family? (9.) What would be your superpower and would you use it for good? (10.) What did you do before Tumblr? (11.) Guilty pleasure food

Tagged by: @celestialspitfire Tagging: @banditborn / @corpusdxlicti / @sonderrow / @portalipsis / @viclate / @vicariousphotographer / @dcsidcrium / @paxeuropaea / @catastrophicur / @sokrovennyi / @inionnaforaoise / @sukkubxs / @evildcers / @fluffmiester / @flieuthi / @moonsought / STEAL IT AND TAG ME

[franeridan]

@mysteriouslypinkconnoisseur​ tagged me in the “Answer these 85 statements about yourself” thing (thank youuuuuu) which had me realize it’s been literally years since I’ve last done any of these?? So, you know, why not, as I try to decide if I wanna be highly original and draw some krbk fluff or not have some random facts about yours truly

not tagging anyone tho, you know how it goes

last

1. drink - coffeeee

2. phone call - my best friend, I think? That was literal months ago tho

3. text message - if the tumblr chat thing counts then my other best friend~

4. song you listened to - I’m listening to Don’t Wish by Tonight Alive right now!

5. time you cried - I feel like I read lately a fic that had me in tears

ever

6. dated someone twice? - somewhat

7. kissed someone and regretted it - yep

8. been cheated on - think so

9. lost someone special - yeah

10. been depressed - not diagnosed

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - never

fave colours

12. Green!

13. Yellow!

14. And any shade between them!!

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Yeah!

16. fallen out of love - I haven’t been in love in years

17. laughed until you cried - Heck yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you - in the positive!

19. met someone who changed you - any new meeting changes you one way or another, is what I think

20. found out who your friends are - lmao my life isn’t that dramatic, no

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - I don’t have a facebook !!! but anyway I haven’t kissed anyone in years so~

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Again, no facebook

23. do you have any pets - YAS two cats!

24. do you want to change your name - Nah I love my name!

25. what did you do for your last birthday - I... drew. That one glasses!Bakugou, seems like

26. what time did you wake up today - ~6am, and then lazed in bed for like three hours

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Uh, reading fics

28. what is something you can’t wait for - OHHHHH MYLES’ ALBUM! Comes out next month!!

30. what are you listening to right now - Temple by Tonight Alive~

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - I don’t think so?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Uhm, some comments I’ve been getting on my art posts lately, but I’ll get over it?

33. most visited website - Tumblr, Spotify and AO3 are probably equals here

34. hair colour - Dark brown

35. long or short hair - shortish!

36. do you have a crush on someone - only fictional crushes

37. what do you like about yourself - lotsa things! My hands help me do all my favorite things tho, so maybe they’re my favs

38. want any piercings? - I’ve got a lip one and three ear ones on my left ear and on on my right? I used to have on on top of my right ear but it closed, I’ve been wanting to have that one done again for ages

39. blood type - 0+

40. nicknames - Fran, Francy, Fra and Chicca are the ones I hear the most often

41. relationship status - single, whoever wrote this question list thing sure cared about romance didn’t they

42. zodiac - Scorpio!

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - can I go with anime I’ll go with anime Kyousougiga’s my anime-only fav!

45. tattoos - none, sadly ;^; maybe one day

46. right or left handed - right-handed

47. ever had surgery - Yep!

48. piercings - Yusss

49. sport - uh, no?

50. vacation - What. Does this mean. Like, if I want one? Yes please. If I’m going on one soon? Not really. My ideal one? Anywhere with the sea and the scent of salt in the air

51. trainers - *crying* I don’t understand these questions

more general

52. eating - WHAT like right now??? no, I’m not eating

53. drinking - Nothing, I just had coffee

54. i’m about to watch - uh a canvas as I draw on it, probably

55. waiting for - didn’t you already ask this - another oneeeeeee next canon in-manga on-panel KrBk interaction

56. want - BNHA MERCH PLEASE

57. get married - Uh, if I ever find someone I wanna do that with?

58. career - today I found out Professional Cat Petter is a thing and now I wanna do that

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hugs I’m more easily comfortable with, but I remember romantic kissing and I loved it

60. lips or eyes - I’m more comfortable with a person having no eyes than having no lips, I’ll admit

61. shorter or taller - I prefer hugging people shorter than me but aside from that I don’t really care

62. older or younger - I don’t exactly care? Someone around my age would be nice

63. nice arms or stomach - uHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *thinks about baku and kiri* *sweats*

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - how about a good average of both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - sorta

67. drank hard liquor - yes

68. lost glasses - thankfully not??

69. turned someone down - yep

70. sex on first date - uh

71. broken someones heart - yeah

72. had your heart broken - y e a h

73. been arrested - not yet *eyes emoji*

74. cried when someone died - no? yes? I can’t remember honestly

75. fallen for a friend - Y u p

do you believe in

76. yourself - I t r y

77. miracles - why THE HECK not

78. love at first sight - well, love is deeper than that isn’t it - deep attraction at first sight tho, yes

79. santa claus - if he exists he doing a poor job of bringing gifts this way

80. kiss on a first date - Yeah why not, it’s just a kiss

81. angels - WHY the heck N O T

other

82. best friend’s name - Giù the one physically closer, Q the one emotionally closer 

83. eye color - you know there was this chart that gave you all the specific right names for eyes colors like caramel chocolate or whatever and it turns out I have. Brown. Eyes. gdi

84. fave movie - I’m not sure...? The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, maybe

85. fave actor - Dunnnnnn have one any longer

[junker-town]

100 percent correct predictions for the 2019 NFL season that we definitely won’t regret later

Patrick Mahomes and Myles Garrett are two of the NFL’s brightest young stars.

Last year, we whiffed on the MVP and Super Bowl winner. This year, though, we totally nailed it.

NFL predictions in early September are, for the most part, garbage.

The league is an untamable beast whose undulations can cast off even the most iron-clad locks. The rise of onetime cellar dwellers at the expense of former contenders is the NFL’s proudest cycle. It keeps all but the most downtrodden fans invested in the promise of a new season, even if the last one ended in utter failure.

While some of the league’s elite will remain their status in the old guard — the Patriots, if we’re being honest with ourselves — new arrivals will challenge that throne in both the postseason bracket and the NFL’s individual awards.

This all makes the process of preseason predictions a silly exercise. The league’s ever-changing landscape reduces all manners of expertise into a raw collection of educated guesses. Like last year, when some of us picked Aaron Rodgers to return to MVP form or Dante Pettis to win offensive rookie of the year honors. We came back and tried again in February, only to see many of those derailed by the draft, free agency, and one shocking retirement.

So yeah, our picks are mostly going to be wrong. But you should read them anyway, because they’ll still offer valuable clues as to how 2019 will unfold, from the first snap in September until the moment the confetti falls at Super Bowl 54 — even if it’s in ways we never saw coming.

2019 MVP

Russell Wilson, Seahawks — Christian D’Andrea Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs — Sarah Hardy Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs — James Brady Baker Mayfield, Browns — Adam Stites

Wilson is always left hanging around the periphery of the MVP race, guiding his Seahawks to contention despite a typically sparse lineup of targets. 2019 should be no different. Injuries and Doug Baldwin’s retirement have left Seattle with one of the league’s worst WR corps, but Wilson — now flanked by a potent running game led by Chris Carson — will likely finish his year with something like 35 touchdown passes, 3,500 passing yards, and one of the top QB ratings in the NFL.

Those aren’t typical MVP numbers, but factor in another postseason appearance from a team that’s supposed to be past its sell-by date and you’ve got a recipe that will swing AP voters to Wilson’s side. If the Seahawk can live up to his lofty standard and ride a revamped defense and scattershot offense into the playoffs, he’ll be deserving of MVP consideration. — D’Andrea

Boring, I know. But we can almost guarantee the winner will be a quarterback, and until I see any sort of evidence that Mahomes or the Kansas City offense is headed for a regression, I won’t believe it. — Hardy

Screw it, let’s go all in on the hype train. Mayfield threw 27 touchdowns last year, setting a new NFL rookie record despite not starting until Week 4. Now he’s got another year’s worth of development and the addition of Odell Beckham Jr. working in his favor. Expect a ton of touchdowns. — Stites

Defensive Player of the Year

Myles Garrett, Browns — Sarah Hardy Joey Bosa, Chargers — Christian D’Andrea Fletcher Cox, Eagles — Charles McDonald Bradley Chubb, Broncos — James Brady Chris Jones, Chiefs — Adam Stites

You could call last year a breakout season for Garrett, the dinosaur-loving, dessert-declining, Grecian God wannabe. He flashed as a rookie in 2016, but languished on an 0-16 Browns team. In his second season, the former No. 1 pick racked up 13.5 sacks — three of which came against Ben Roethslisberger! — on a defense that was still kinda average.

Now, Garrett has more pass-rushing help than just fellow third-year lineman Larry Ogunjobi. This offseason, the Browns added two Pro Bowlers, Olivier Vernon and Sheldon Richardson, to their defensive front. Not only should Cleveland’s D-line be one of the best in the NFL this year, those reinforcements will let Garrett unleash his true disruptive powers — we’re talking 20+ sacks territory here.

On the field, that is. Off the field, he’ll probably just chill and listen to a little Fleetwood Mac. — Hardy

Jones had 15.5 sacks for the Chiefs, despite mostly playing on the interior. It was 2.5 more sacks than edge rusher Dee Ford. It’s still a mystery how on Earth he didn’t make a Pro Bowl last year, but if his production continues to rise, Jones will be impossible to ignore. — Stites

Coach of the Year

Kyle Shanahan, 49ers — Christian D’Andrea Kyle Shanahan, 49ers — James Brady Matt LaFleur, Packers — Charles McDonald Adam Gase, Jets — Adam Stites Bruce Arians, Buccaneers — Sarah Hardy

I don’t know what to expect out of the Bucs this year. They could finish in last place in the NFC South for the third year in a row, or they could make their way back into the playoffs for the first time in over a decade. Not much would surprise me, unless they’re somehow worse in their first season under Arians than they were in their last season under Dirk Koetter.

I doubt that’s the case, though. In six seasons as a head coach (including his interim year with the Colts), Arians has only finished with a losing record once, when the Cardinals went 7-8-1 in 2016.

Arians should get the Bucs back on the right track after his brief retirement, and that’ll impress the voters who might be a little tired of Sean McVay clones. Plus, NFL circles love him. He’s already won the award twice before. — Hardy

Super Bowl 54 prediction

The Eagles over the Chiefs — Christian D’Andrea The Patriots over the Eagles — Charles McDonald The Patriots over ... The Chiefs over the Eagles — Sarah Hardy The Saints over the Chiefs — James Brady The Chiefs over the Seahawks — Adam Stites

Last year at this time, I picked the Vikings to beat the Steelers in Super Bowl 53. Let’s pause for a sec so you can go ahead and LOL at me.

I knew then that it was nothing more than wishful thinking, because my reason for choosing the Vikings was as follows: “they’re not the Patriots, who will probably end up here anyway.” Then when that Voldemort of a sentence came true, I wrote in February, “I’m picking the Patriots to win every Super Bowl until the end of time now.”

I still believe that deep down, but you don’t want to hear about how the Patriots’ schedule looks like the SEC’s Cupcake Week stretched out over an entire year And neither do I. So once again, I’ll just try to The Secret a non-Patriots Super Bowl into existence.

The Chiefs were a penalty away from making the last Super Bowl. Their Madden-like offense is more or less the same, and the defense will be better (not that it has much choice to go anywhere but up). The Eagles have one of the most complete rosters in the NFL and a majority of their players have already been on this stage before. If you think the Chiefs are cursed, well, a lot of people said the same thing about the Eagles until two seasons ago. This is the year, Kansas City. This is the year!

I’m sorry. I already regret this. — Hardy

Which second-year player will have a breakout 2019?

Dante Pettis, 49ers — James Brady Dante Pettis, 49ers — Christian D’Andrea Mike Gesicki, Dolphins — Charles McDonald James Washington, Steelers — Sarah Hardy Marcus Davenport, Saints — Adam Stites

Let’s see what my 2018 offensive rookie of the year pick can do with a whole season of Jimmy Garoppolo (and a limited number of high-impact wide receivers around him) can do. — D’Andrea

Well, SOMEONE has to catch passes for the Dolphins. Kenny Stills is gone, leaving the Dolphins in need of targets. Gesicki has all right tools to be a dominant receiving threat. Now, he has the opportunity. — McDonald

No AB, no problem? The Steelers wish it were that simple. While there’s no replacing Antonio Brown, I think Washington can take advantage of getting more opportunities this year. He caught just 42 percent of his targets as a rookie, which came out to an underwhelming 16 catches, 217 yards, and one touchdown for the second-round pick. If his preseason performance can translate to the regular season, then his first-year struggles will soon be nothing but a distant memory. — Hardy

The Saints drafted Davenport because of his outrageous physical talent, even if he was very green. He’s just 23 and now that he’s been in the league for over a year, it’s time to watch that potential get unleashed. — Stites

Who will be the first starting quarterback to be benched?

Ryan Fitzpatrick, Dolphins — Charles McDonald Case Keenum, Washington — Christian D’Andrea Case Keenum, Washington — James Brady Case Keenum, Washington — Adam Stites

Have you seen that Dolphins’ offensive line? This isn’t even a real indictment of Fitzpatrick — no quarterback would stand a chance behind that line. Unfortunately, poor production will likely lead to him being benched. — McDonald

Jay Gruden may be staring down a situation where the only way to keep his job is to prove he can develop Dwayne Haskins into Washington’s next franchise passer. If Keenum gets off to a slow start — and he did last year with the Broncos — he could be in for a quick hook. — D’Andrea

Which 2018 playoff team will be the first to be eliminated from contention?

Chicago Bears — Charles McDonald Indianapolis Colts — Christian D’Andrea Houston Texans — James Brady New Orleans Saints — Adam Stites

The Bears’ defense is still one of the best units in the league, but expecting them to replicate their 2018 production is unreasonable. They’re going to need third-year quarterback Mitchell Trubisky to finally start looking like the elite passer he was drafted to be, which might be too tall of a task for him right now. — McDonald

Sorry, Jacoby Brissett. — D’Andrea

Which 2019 trade will look smartest by the time the season ends?

The Patriots steal Michael Bennett from the Eagles for a swap of Day 3 picks — Christian D’Andrea The Dolphins trading Laremy Tunsil to the Texans for two first-round picks — Charles McDonald The Browns landing Odell Beckham Jr. because the Giants are weird — Sarah Hardy The Browns landing Odell Beckham Jr. because the Giants are weird — James Brady The Steelers sending Antonio Brown to the Raiders — Adam Stites

New England desperately needed to punch up its pass rush after losing Trey Flowers in free agency. Enter Bennett, whose versatility and veteran gravitas give him the chops to play anywhere along Bill Belichick’s defensive line. — D’Andrea

Miami did exactly what every rebuilding team should do: acquire future assets. The Dolphins won’t be in playoff contention at all, but their 2020 offseason should be exciting with their own top-five pick and a potential top-20 pick from Houston. — McDonald

It’s too early to tell if Dave Gettleman was right all along about Daniel Jones. I refuse for him to be right about OBJ, though. — Hardy

Brown’s bizarre 2019 hasn’t stopped being bizarre. He spent August dealing with frostbitten feet, a gripe about his helmet, and has already accrued over $50,000 in fines from the Raiders for absences. It’s definitely possible he’ll make up for all that by being the same dynamic playmaker he was in Pittsburgh. But until that happens, the Steelers are looking smarter every day. — Stites

Which late draft pick or undrafted free agent will make the biggest impact in 2019?

Ben Burr-Kirven, Seahawks — Christian D’Andrea Lamont Gaillard, Cardinals — Charles McDonald Byron Cowart, Patriots — Adam Stites

Burr-Kirven was a fifth-round pick who had to fight his way onto the Seattle roster this summer, but he should have plenty of opportunity to stand out in a defense in desperate need of linebacker depth. While his measurables are unimpressive — he’s small at 6’0 and 230 pounds and not overly athletic — he’s a tackling machine who finished his college career with 176 tackles as a senior. He’ll find a way to contribute for Pete Carroll. — D’Andrea

The Cardinals will be rebuilding their offensive line over the next few seasons, but they might already have a keeper in sixth-round center Lamont Gaillard. Gaillard anchored dominant rushing attacks over the last few years for the Georgia Bulldogs and even performed well against Quinnen Williams in the SEC Championship Game last year. Gaillard won’t be enough to overturn the Cardinals’ offensive line woes by himself, but he’s a nice start. — McDonald

Once upon a time, Cowart was the top high school recruit in the nation. It didn’t translate to much success at Auburn. But the Patriots took a fifth-round flier on the defensive lineman and saw early signs that it was a good call when he folded the Titans’ Rodger Saffold like a lawn chair. New England loves to keep its defensive linemen in rotation, so Cowart will get chances to show that same explosion in the regular season. — Stites

Which team ends up with the No. 1 pick in the 2020 NFL Draft?

Miami Dolphins — Sarah Hardy Miami Dolphins — Christian D’Andrea Miami Dolphins — James Brady Miami Dolphins — Adam Stites

I mean ... they’re pretty clearly trying to get the No. 1 pick. — Stites

[vijayabalaji]

WWE Issues Statement On Jordan Myles T-Shirt Debacle

WWE Issues Statement On #JordanMyles T-Shirt Debacle

NXT Breakout Tournament winner Jordan Myles (fka ACH) issued a short statement on Twitter berating Triple H and Vince McMahon for the release of his latest t-shirt, which closely resembles minstrel blackface, calling it a slap in the face to every African American performer, fan, and supporter.

Myles would go on to state that WWE will learn to regret this racially insensitive decision, and…

[unclescurvy]

2018 NFL PREDICTIONS

These are my predictions for the 2018 season… which is to say, these are my wild guesses about future situations I can’t possibly intuit, yet - by posting them publicly - they’re thoughts I will soon regret for the rest of my life.

  AFC EAST

  Buffalo Bills –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: quarterback

2018 MVP’s: Kevin Benjamin & Tre’Davious White

Breakout Player: Zay Jones

Hotshot Rookie: Tremaine Edmunds

My prediction last year: 4-12

Record last year: 9-7 (playoffs)

Record this year: 4-12

  Miami Dolphins –

 Strength: defensive end

Weakness: quarterback

2018 MVP’s: Kenyan Drake & Reshad Jones

Breakout Player: Raekwon McMillan

Hotshot Rookie: Minkah Fitzpatrick

My prediction last year: 7-9

Record last year: 6-10

Record this year: 7-9

  New England Patriots –

 Strength: quarterback

Weakness: defensive end

2018 MVP’s: Tom Brady & Devin McCourty

Breakout Player: Trent Brown

Hotshot Rookie: Isaiah Wynn

My prediction last year: 13-3 (playoffs)

Record last year: 13-3 (playoffs)

Record this year: 12-4 (playoffs)

  New York Jets –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: offensive line

2018 MVP’s: Robbie Anderson & Leonard Williams

Breakout Player: Quincy Enunwa

Hotshot Rookie: Sam Darnold

My prediction last year: 2-14

Record last year: 5-11

Record this year: 3-13

  NFC EAST

 Dallas Cowboys –

 Strength: offensive line

Weakness: defensive backs

2018 MVP’s: Ezekiel Elliott & Sean Lee

Breakout Player: Jaylon Smith

Hotshot Rookie: Michael Gallup

My prediction last year: 9-7 (playoffs)

Record last year: 9-7

Record this year: 8-8

  New York Giants –

 Strength: defensive line

Weakness: offensive line

2018 MVP’s: Saquon Barkley & Landon Collins

Breakout Player: Sterling Shepard

Hotshot Rookie: Saquon Barkley

My prediction last year: 6-10

Record last year: 3-13

Record this year: 9-7 (playoffs)

  Philadelphia Eagles –

 Strength: defensive line

Weakness: linebacker

2018 MVP’s: Carson Wentz & Fletcher Cox

Breakout Player: Sidney Jones

Hotshot Rookie: Dallas Goedert

My prediction last year: 8-8

Record last year: 13-3 (playoffs)

Record this year: 10-6 (playoffs)

  Washington Redskins –

 Strength: offensive line

Weakness: running back

2018 MVP’s: Alex Smith & Josh Norman

Breakout Player: Josh Doctson

Hotshot Rookie: Tim Settle

My prediction last year: 6-10

Record last year: 7-9

Record this year: 4-12

 AFC NORTH

 Baltimore Ravens –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: wide receiver

2018 MVP’s: Alex Collins & C.J. Mosley

Breakout Player: Matt Judon

Hotshot Rookie: Lamar Jackson

My prediction last year: 6-10

Record last year: 9-7

Record this year: 8-8 (playoffs)

  Cincinnati Bengals –

 Strength: cornerback

Weakness: offensive line

2018 MVP’s: A.J. Green & William Jackson III

Breakout Player: William Jackson III

Hotshot Rookie: Sam Hubbard

My prediction last year: 7-9

Record last year: 7-9

Record this year: 6-10

  Cleveland Browns – Is this the year Cleveland finally turns it around?  

 No.  Shut up.

 Strength: linebacker

Weakness: defensive tackle

2018 MVP’s: Jarvis Landry & Myles Garrett

Breakout Player: Myles Garrett

Hotshot Rookie: Antonio Callaway

My prediction last year: 5-11

Record last year: 0-16

Record this year: 6-10

  Pittsburgh Steelers –

 Strength: wide receiver

Weakness: tight end

2018 MVP’s: Antonio Brown & T.J. Watt

Breakout Player: T.J. Watt

Hotshot Rookie: James Washington

My prediction last year: 9-7 (playoffs)

Record last year: 13-3 (playoffs)

Record this year: 11-5 (playoffs)

  NFC NORTH

  Chicago Bears –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: defensive line

2018 MVP’s: Jordan Howard & Kyle Fuller

Breakout Player: Mitch Trubisky

Hotshot Rookie: Bilal Nichols

My prediction last year: 5-11

Record last year: 5-11

Record this year: 5-11

 Detroit Lions –

 Strength: wide receiver

Weakness: tight end

2018 MVP’s: Matt Stafford & Darius Slay

Breakout Player: Kenny Golladay

Hotshot Rookie: Kerryon Johnson

My prediction last year: 8-8

Record last year: 9-7

Record this year: 9-7

 Green Bay Packers –

 Strength: quarterback

Weakness: running back

2018 MVP’s: Aaron Rodgers & Ha Ha Clinton-Dix

Breakout Player: Jamaal Williams

Hotshot Rookie: Jaire Alexander

My prediction last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record last year: 7-9

Record this year: 11-5 (playoffs)

  Minnesota Vikings –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: offensive line

2018 MVP’s: Kirk Cousins & Xavier Rhodes

Breakout Player: Kentrell Brothers

Hotshot Rookie: Mike Hughes

My prediction last year: 9-7

Record last year: 13-3 (playoffs)

Record this year:10-6 (playoffs)

   AFC SOUTH

  Houston Texans –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: tight end

2018 MVP’s: Deshaun Watson & J.J. Watt

Breakout Player: D’Onta Foreman

Hotshot Rookie: Justin Reid

My prediction last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record last year: 4-12

Record this year: 11-5 (playoffs)

 Indianapolis Colts –

 Strength: quarterback

Weakness: running back

2018 MVP’s: T.Y Hilton & Malik Hooker

Breakout Player: Malik Hooker

Hotshot Rookie: Nyheim Hines

My prediction last year: 8-8

Record last year: 4-12

Record this year: 8-8

  Jacksonville Jaguars –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: quarterback

2018 MVP’s: Leonard Fournette & Calais Campbell

Breakout Player: Myles Jack

Hotshot Rookie: Leon Jacobs

My prediction last year: 7-9

Record last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record this year: 14-2 (playoffs)

  Tennessee Titans –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: wide receiver

2018 MVP’s: Marcus Mariota & Kevin Byard

Breakout Player: Corey Davis

Hotshot Rookie: Harold Landry

My prediction last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record last year: 9-7 (playoffs)

Record this year: 8-8

   NFC SOUTH

  Atlanta Falcons –

 Strength: wide receiver

Weakness: tight end

2018 MVP’s: Julio Jones & Vic Beasley

Breakout Player: Takkarist McKinley

Hotshot Rookie: Calvin Ridley

My prediction last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record this year: 9-7 (playoffs)

 Carolina Panthers –

 Strength: defensive tackle

Weakness: defensive backs

2018 MVP’s: Cam Newton & Luke Kuechly

Breakout Player: Shaq Thompson

Hotshot Rookie: D.J. Moore

My prediction last year: 10-6

Record last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record this year: 8-8

  New Orleans Saints –

 Strength: quarterback

Weakness: defensive tackle

2018 MVP’s: Drew Brees & Cameron Jordan

Breakout Player: Alex Anzalone

Hotshot Rookie: Marcus Davenport

My prediction last year: 8-8

Record last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record this year: 8-8

  Tampa Bay Buccaneers –

 Strength: defensive line

Weakness: defensive backs

2018 MVP’s: Mike Evans & Lavonte David

Breakout Player: Chris Godwin

Hotshot Rookie: Jack Cinchy

My prediction last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record last year: 5-11

Record this year: 5-11

  AFC WEST

  Denver Broncos –

 Strength: linebacker

Weakness: running back

2018 MVP’s: Case Keenum & Von Miller

Breakout Player: Jake Butt

Hotshot Rookie: Bradley Chubb

My prediction last year: 7-9

Record last year: 5-11

Record this year: 7-9

 Kansas City Chiefs –

  Strength: running back

Weakness: defensive backs

2018 MVP’s: Kareem Hunt & Eric Berry

Breakout Player: Patrick Mahomes II

Hotshot Rookie: Armani Watts

My prediction last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record last year: 10-6 (playoffs)

Record this year: 7-9

  Los Angeles Chargers –

 Strength: quarterback

Weakness: catastrophic injury

2018 MVP’s: Philip Rivers & Melvin Ingram

Breakout Player: Mike Williams

Hotshot Rookie: Derwin James

My prediction last year: 9-7

Record last year: 9-7

Record this year: 10-6 (playoffs)

  Oakland Raiders –

 Strength: offensive line

Weakness: defensive line

2018 MVP’s: Amari Cooper & Khalil Mack

Breakout Player: Tahir Whitehead

Hotshot Rookie: Eddy Pinero

My prediction last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record last year: 6-10

Record this year: 6-10

  NFC WEST

  Arizona Cardinals –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: depth

2018 MVP’s: David Johnson & Chandler Jones

Breakout Player: Budda Baker

Hotshot Rookie: Josh Rosen

My prediction last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record last year: 8-8

Record this year: 5-11

 Los Angeles Rams –

 Strength: defensive backs

Weakness: linebacker

2018 MVP’s: Todd Gurley & Aaron Donald

Breakout Player: Cooper Kupp

Hotshot Rookie: Micah Kiser

My prediction last year: 5-11

Record last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record this year: 12-4 (playoffs)

  San Francisco 49’ers –

 Strength: defensive line

Weakness: running back

2018 MVP’s: Jimmy Garoppolo & Reuben Foster

Breakout Player: Solomon Thomas

Hotshot Rookie: Dante Pettis

My prediction last year: 3-13

Record last year: 6-10

Record this year: 9-7

  Seattle Seahawks –

 Strength: linebacker

Weakness: safety

2018 MVP’s: Russell Wilson & Bobby Wagner

Breakout Player: Nick Vannett

Hotshot Rookie: Shaquem Griffin

My prediction last year: 11-5 (playoffs)

Record last year: 9-7

Record this year: 6-10

   PLAYOFFS

 NFC

1. LA Rams

2. Green Bay

3. Philadelphia

4. Atlanta

5. Minnesota

6. NY Giants

 AFC

1. Jacksonville

2. New England

3. Pittsburgh

4. LA Chargers

5. Houston

6. Baltimore

  SUPER BOWL: LA Rams vs. Jacksonville

[ca-tk-in]

tagged by @rosecolouredgirls

tagging: no one because i’ve tagged loads of ppl in a post like this recently and i don’t want to annoy anyone lol

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag others!

the last

1. drink: half a glass of coke at lunch today lol

2. phone call: rang my friend on saturday to tell her i couldn’t make a party and that i was dropping round money so she could afford the taxi home

3. text message: texted that same friend to see when she was around to get said money

4. song you listened to: black velvet by alannah myles

5. time you cried: on saturday when i was saying goodbye to the same friend i was giving money to because she’s going to uni in glasgow (i’ll be miles away at uni in kent) and i won’t see her until christmas

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on: nope

9. lost someone special: july

10. been depressed: september 2015 through to june 2017

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: last year at a friend’s party, i really can’t handle alcohol and so being ill anyway and drinking half a bottle of red wine with no food was such a bad idea (there are still some people who think i was throwing up blood lol)

3 favourite colours

12. green

13. burgundy

14. blue

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: yes

16. fallen out of love: i don’t know it probably wasn’t love

17. laughed until you cried: more times than i can count

18. found out someone was talking about you: yes but i’d already guessed as much and it didn’t really matter so much

19. met someone who changed you: probably

20. found out who your friends are: i already knew, i just lost one of them

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: a fair few, though some not anymore

23. do you have any pets: nope

24. do you want to change your name: maybe my surname

25. what did you do for your last birthday: skipped college to go out with my mama, and then went out for dinner with some pals

26. what time did you wake up: like 9 am ish

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was sleeping

28. name something you can’t wait for: going up to uni on sunday!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: an hour or so ago

31. what are you listening to right now: my laptop fan but er hey where’s number 30

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: unfortunately

33. something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that our bathroom door has suddenly started creaking really loudly 

34. most visited website: tumblr, facebook, youtube, netflix

35. hair colour: light brown kinda

36. long or short hair: short, just passed my jaw

37. do you have a crush on someone: no, i did for a really long time until i realised he was boring and rude (hoping for a nice english lit loving guy at uni)

38. what do you like about yourself: my eyes, my height, my smortness

39. piercings: 2 on each earlobe

40. blood type: um 

41. nickname: parents and very close friends call me cakey

42. relationship status: single

43. zodiac: gemini

44. pronouns: she/her 

45. favourite tv show: brooklyn 99, stranger things, miss fisher’s murder mysteries

46. tattoos: none :0( want some though

47. right or left handed: right 

48. surgery: nope

50. sport: hahaha no (i liked badminton but tbh me playing sport is a very bad idea because i’m violently competitive)

51. vacation: cornwall every year with my family, and when i still had february half terms my aunt and uncle would take me abroad (a couple years we went skiing in france until someone crashed into my aunt and broke her leg, then we went to italy twice but i missed out this year going to lisbon because our breaks were at different times)

52. pair of trainers: i have a solid 0 

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: had a slice of banana bread like half an hour ago

54. drinking: um nothing at the moment

55. I’m about to: watch brooklyn 99

56. waiting for: the grey to go away

57. want: to be happy

58. get married: literally never had a boyfriend you’re getting a bit ahead of me

59. career: who mcfreaking knows i’d like to be a writer but in this economy??

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: depends on the person and the situation

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller but it doesn’t really matter that much as long as they don’t have an issue with it because boy i’m wearing these heels if you can’t handle being shorter than me then leave

63. older or younger: i’d prefer the same age but i wouldn’t want anyone younger

64. nice arms or nice stomach: all arms and stomachs are nice if they’re attached to a nice person

65. hook up or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: i’m not really sure what this means or how these are opposites of each other i’ll be honest

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: no i’m a lot less nice irl so most ppl don’t approach me anywhere especially if i make eye contact (i look mean i’m sorry)

68. drank hard liquor: i could have done i canny really remember

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t need either (apart from sunglasses) and probably wouldn’t lose them if i did, i’m very stressy with my stuff

70. turned someone down: i literally don’t go anywhere this has never been an issue for me (have, however, had to glare at creepy guys on the street staring at my cleavage the bastards)

71. sex on the first date: haven’t and wouldn’t

72. broken someone’s heart: if i have they never told me

73. had your heart broken: not in a romantic sense

74. been arrested: no

75. cried when someone died: gets worse every time bby

76. fallen for a friend: wouldn’t really count him as a friend, which is probably why i could never have talked to him about it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself:  sometimes

78. miracles: no but please god show me something that changes my mind

79. love at first sight: no

80. santa claus: not since i deduced that if my mama was the easter bunny then she was probably also father christmas (sorry i’m posh and english)

81. kiss on the first date: i dunno maybe if i really liked the guy

82. angels: i wish i did

OTHER:

84. eye colour: a dark enough brown you have to stare really hard to see my pupils (where is number 83??)

85. favourite movie: i’ve got so many: son of rambow, the princess bride, howl’s moving castle (most ghibli films tbh, but that’s like my favourite)

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 5: The fleeting joys of apple picking and the Browns' first lead

Relive Sunday's action with one dad, two toddlers, and six hours of the RedZone channel.

I went apple picking with my daughter and her preschool on Friday. It was three joyful hours at a beautiful farm in the Hudson Valley bracketed by a six-hour round trip on a school bus full of toddlers. This was (A) not nearly as bad as it sounds, but also (B) NOT GREAT, BOB. A rule of parenting: any place worth taking young kids to requires a trip that at one point will make you regret your decision to leave the house.

Now, if you haven’t gone to an orchard recently, one of the perks is eating freshly picked apples as you fill your bag. And the progression typically goes like this:

(eating the first apple) HOLY CRAP! THIS IS JUICIEST APPLE I’VE EVER TASTED, WHY DON’T I EAT MORE APPLES?!?!?! I WANNA MOVE SO WE’RE CLOSER TO A FARM!

(apple #2) Mmmm, so good!

(apple #3) Honestly, I’m good on apples for the season.

Anyway, I came home with more apples than any reasonable family would choose to eat, so my wife is making a pie today. APPLE PIE AND FOOTBALL, LET’S AMERICA THIS SUNDAY UP!

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— At 1:00, I put my son down for his nap. By the time I turn the TV on, it’s a few minutes into the games, and the first thing I see on the RedZone channel is ... Browns celebrating? That can’t be right.

Then the camera cuts to a wider view that shows they’re playing the Jets, and it makes a little more sense. The celebration is for Myles Garrett, finally making his NFL debut today, who sacked Josh McCown on his first NFL snap.

Cleveland Twitter is celebrating like the Browns just got their first lead of the season (they have not).

— “Can you look at my treasures, Daddy?” says my daughter. Assembled on the table are two acorns, a penny flattened by a hand press, and several rocks sized perfectly for a child’s palm. Eric Ebron drops a pass in the end zone.

— A.J. Green hauls in a 77-yard bomb for a touchdown in the Cincinnati rain. Green may be the odd Hall of Fame receiver who is somehow underappreciated his entire career. He’s not as electric as Odell Beckham, not as physically dominating Julio Jones, less elusive than Antonio Brown. But he’s perfect! He’s fast and graceful and has amazing hands (he’s a skilled juggler), and his only sin is playing in a small market for one of the most underwhelming teams in the NFL.

— A shotgun snap flies past Philip Rivers. He flails to push the ball out of end zone and oh my god it’s beautiful. It’s like the Zion National Park of of Rivers flailing.

YOUR 2017 Los Angeles Chargerrrrrrs!!!!!! http://pic.twitter.com/GjtX4SNJTm

— Kyle Brandt (@KyleBrandt) October 8, 2017

Philip Rivers is the master of finding the balance between the smart play and self-preservation, and the result is looking like a total spaz. Like, he got BOTH hands on the ball, but covering it up in the end zone would mean a defender falling on him, and Rivers is too smart to take unnecessary hits. That’s why he’s willing to look so dumb. You ever see him get the snap when a lineman jumps offsides? He throws the ball into the ground like it’s delivering 120 volts into his body.

Phil Rivers throwing a ball rugby style out've the back of his own endzone while screaming at his center is why ill never stop watching nfl

— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) October 8, 2017

— There’s not much to like about the Tennessee-Miami matchup (Matt Cassel versus Jay Cutler, yikes) but the mix of Dolphin teal and Titan sky blue is incredibly soothing to me. Stop the game and make them do tai chi on TV, I’ll be perfectly centered.

— Carson Wentz has thrown three touchdowns in the first quarter, and Philly leads Arizona 21-0. In the seven other games being played, only three teams have managed even a single touchdown.

— Matt Cassel is strip-sacked for a Dolphins touchdown, and there’s the answer to “How on earth can this Dolphins team score a touchdown with Jay Cutler at quarterback?”

— Christian McCaffrey’s first NFL TD is a shovel pass on an option play, and the Panthers and Lions are tied at 10. I am not opposed to widespread use of wide spread use in the NFL.

— DeShone Kizer just committed his SECOND red zone turnover of the day, an interception thrown at a well-covered receiver. That seems bad.

DeShone Kizer is the first player to have multiple giveaways in a game inside his opponent's 5 yard-line since Josh Freeman in Week 13, 2009

— NFL Research (@NFLResearch) October 8, 2017

Confirmed: bad. The Cleveland fans in attendance break out the rarest of surrender cobras: the scoreless first half surrender cobra.

Smart of Cleveland fans to rock Cavs and Indians gear, though. You wanna display your love for the home squad, but you also want plausible deniability after the game.

— The Jets kick a 57-yard field goal as the half expires. They lead 3-0, and the Browns have still never led this season.

— At halftime, the Matt Cassel and Jay Cutler stat lines are ... not good. CBS made a nearly perfect graphic for them, and I have tweaked it only slightly to highlight the inherent emotion of a combined 75 yards passing at 2.7 yards per attempt.

Matt Ufford

the anthem standers

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Fifth-round sophomore Kevin Hogan is in for the Browns. RIP DeShone Kizer, you will be lovingly added to the joke jersey that lists all of the Cleveland quarterbacks since Tim Couch.

Also: where is No Cody Kessler on the depth chart? It seemed like he wasn’t complete dog crap last year. I mean, as Browns QBs go.

— Jalen Ramsey versus Antonio Brown is a ton of fun to watch. Roethlisberger goes deep down the sideline to Brown, who makes a leaping catch — but he’s out of bounds because of Ramsay’s positioning. That subtle boxing out is only done well by the best in the game.

— BROWNS SCORE! BROWNS SCORE! A great one-handed catch by David Njoku for the team’s first lead all year!

He followed that with a sumo celebration that ended with him spiking the ball into his own butt.

— Matt Cassell has thrown a TD pass to Phillip Supernaw; it’s tied at 10 in Miami. Incidentally, “Supernaw” is my response to a game featuring Cassel and Jay Cutler. This is an easy joke that thousands of people have already made, but I am incapable of not making it. I’m protected by dads’ rights, you can’t stop me.

— Some bird-on-bird crime in Cards-Eagles:

Nelson Agholor just destroyed this Cardinals DB in every way possible #Eagles http://pic.twitter.com/4v1aFCVEDd

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) October 8, 2017

That is rookie Budda Baker, in case you’re the one chiseling the headstone. He didn’t just get burned; he got burned, then juked, and then he missed a tackle. And then watched as Nelson Agholor took the Nestea plunge into the end zone to cap off a 72-yard touchdown that put Philly up 31-7.

By the way, are we still calling it the Nestea plunge? I know I’m a hundred years old and that ad campaign was forever ago, but do the youths know about it? Attention youths: Please Snapchat me about your awareness of the Nestea plunge. I’ll check my messages in 3-4 days.

— Ben Roethlisberger has thrown CONSECUTIVE pick-6s to the Jaguars and I am HERE for the Steelers getting dragged at home. Did I pick the Steelers to cover more than a touchdown in a win? Yes, I did, and I will happily be wrong forever if it means that hairy sentient ham suffers a public humiliation every time he uses the media to chastise the star wide receiver who makes him look good every week.

Well, almost every week.

— Here’s Melvin Gordon stiff-arming Janoris Jenkins into the turf.

Melvin Gordon stiff arm on Janoris Jenkins http://pic.twitter.com/91tFxByWKU

— Steve Noah (@Steve_OS) October 8, 2017

I include this because one of the best things SB Nation makes is a show called “Will You Be My Friend?” and you should watch the episode with Gordon. Here, I’ll embed it and you can watch it right now. Go ahead, kick your shoes off and luxuriate on this webpage a little longer.

— My son is up from his nap. He sleepily staggers over and throws his arms around me in a big hug. I know that doesn’t really pop off the screen as anything special, but trust me when I say my brain is FLOODED with dopamine from his carefree smile and chubby arms.

This is the bone that human biology throws to parents. “Oh, is every day with a young child the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced? FINE, bathe in the warmth of infinite love.” And all of us stupid parents are like, “Oh, yeah, that’s good. This is worth surrendering my house to childproofing measures and chiming plastic bullshit.”

— Jermaine Kearse is wide open for a TD, and the Jets lead 17-7. Good night, Browns. You were powerless to protect your home turf from the juggernaut Jets as they cruised to 3-2 for a share of the AFC East lead. Fire up the Josh McCown Pro Bowl campaign!

— Odell Beckham gets open behind the defense for a 48-yard touchdown. He celebrates by performing CPR on the ball.

Giants are on life support but @OBJ_3 is trying to bring them back. http://pic.twitter.com/wWVXXldt0n

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) October 8, 2017

OK, this is just a disastrous mockery of life-saving procedures. First of all, he didn’t even check his ABCs: Airway, Breathing, Circulation. He didn’t perform any rescue breathing. And he performs chest compressions by pumping his arms, which wastes energy; he should keep his arms straight and let his body weight to do the work. No wonder he spikes the ball; his life-saving efforts hastened its death.

— Ben Roethlisberger has thrown his fourth interception. And now a FIFTH! Merry Jagsmas!

— The Lions are attempting a furious comeback against the Panthers, but they started it too late to have any realistic chance of victory. In Cincy, with the Bills trailing 21-16 and two minutes remaining, Tyrod Taylor throws a pick. My daughter wakes up and, noticing the smell from the kitchen, asks what we’re cooking. “What did Mommy say she was going to make?” My daughter is lost in thought for a moment, then her face lights up. “APPLE PIE!!!”

— Leonard Fournette rips off a 90-yard sprint for a TD, and the embarrassment is complete. 30-9, Jacksonville.

— The Colts have managed to blow their two-touchdown lead. Leading 23-16 with 24 seconds left, they were a goal line stand away from the W. Instead, on 4th and goal, the Niners get a tight end open with a rub route and he just BARELY breaks the plane. Once again, we are saddled with overtime between two crap teams instead of sending them home with the tie they earned (or ending with a do-or-die two-point conversion, which would likely be more exciting, and certainly faster).

— Oh no. Odell Beckham is injured and crying. You can tell from his face that he knows his season is over. UGH.

The Giants are up 22-20 late in the game, but they already don’t have a rushing game, and Beckham is the FOURTH Giants wideout to leave with an injury. Eli Manning is gonna have to run the wing T from a goal line formation.

My daughter, who is almost healed from her broken collarbone, is looking at the screen with concern. I say, “He’s sad because he hurt his leg, sweetie.”

My wife adds, “Where’s he going to go to make his leg better? Who’s he going to see?”

My daughters face brightens. “To the DOCTOR!”

On the next play, Manning is strip-sacked. The Chargers recover and take the lead on a touchdown pass to Melvin Gordon, his second score of the day. The Giants have no response. They deserve to have the dignity of running up a white flag and packing it up for the day; instead, Eli Manning throws an interception on 4th-and-10. Even for a team that entered the game winless, the final four minutes of this game were especially gutting for the Giants.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Ahhh, my beloved Seahawks! The first play RedZone shows of them is third-and-14 for Russell Wilson and the offense, which is the most Seahawks down and distance possible. Alec Ogletree sacks Wilson. Excellent. Yes. This is the good shit I choose to watch every week.

— In Oakland, Jared Cook’s fumble is returned for a Ravens TD, and Baltimore is up 14-0 less than 4 minutes into the game. With Derek Carr out, E.J. Manuel is responsible for getting the Raiders back into the game. With all due respect to Joe Flacco’s crappiness, this game is effectively over. I will not write another update about it unless Marshawn Lynch, like, crowdsurfs in the Black Hole after scoring a touchdown.

— After an easy drive down the field, an apparent Todd Gurley touchdown is wiped off the board when replay shows that Earl Thomas’s goal-line chop knocked the ball loose short of the goal line, resulting in a touchback for the Seahawks (it’s the second time Thomas has done this against the Rams). The end zone fumble/touchback foible remains the most inexplicable rule in football, and I love it very much in this moment.

— Jacoby Brissett throws a pick in end zone. Hey! What are the 49ers and Colts still doing here? This is late game territory, busters. I may have to start organizing this column under different headings. Let’s wrap this one up: The 49ers will do nothing with the ball, punt, and lose on an Adam Vinatieri 51-yarder.

— My daughter wants me to summon pictures of Rapunzel from Tangled on my computer screen. She has never seen the movie or even read the kids’ mini-book. her only familiarity with the story is the generic fairy tale. But she has an electronic reader with a picture of the Mouse’s Rapunzel, and that is enough to stoke the flames of curiosity. (shaking fist) DISNEEEEYYYYY!!!

— Following a methodical Dallas touchdown drive, Aaron Rodgers leads the Packers downfield and throws a perfect strike to Davante Adams. Mason Crosby, however, misses the extra point, and Packers trail 7-6. This game appears to be just as good as Fox had hoped.

— After the Seahawks throw an interception on a trick play, the Rams drive deep into Seahawks territory. On 3rd and 11, Jared Goff hands off to Tavon Austin, who goes untouched for a 27-yard touchdown. I had hoped that whatever Jeff Fisher-brand Seahawks poison the Rams employed over the last five years would be gone from this Rams team, but apparently not.

— I am starving. I haven’t eaten since a late breakfast, and my entry into our small kitchen puts me on the hook for making the kids’ dinner. While I toast a bagel for myself and cook quesadillas for the kids, the Seahawks recover a muffed punt, only to blow easy points by throwing an interception that flips the field position.

Thanks to Russell Wilson’s touchdown-saving tackle, the defense is able to hold the Rams to a field goal and a 10-0 lead. But you know what’s even better than hustling back to save a touchdown? Not throwing 40 yards across the field so a safety can undercut your throw with an open field ahead of him.

While I cook, my daughter is “reading” an illustrated Bible. She’s quiet and content for a long time, until she wants to know why some people are crying. Those are just Lazarus’ friends, sweetie. Don’t worry, he turned out fine.

— Dallas goes for it on 4th and less than a yard from the Green Bay 21, and Dak dives ahead to move the chains. A few plays later, he throws a perfect pass to Dez Bryant for a diving TD. The Cowboys lead 21-6, and are totally dominating time of possession.

— My daughter: “I’m going to the bayou!” She must have gotten her mitts on The Princess and the Frog again. I would love to thaw Walt Dinsey’s head just to punch him in the face one time.

— On second and goal from the Rams 4, the Seahawks throw a jump ball to Jimmy Graham, who uses his height advantage to pull in an easy touchdown. This is the sort of thing that Seahawks fans expected would become commonplace when the team traded for Graham three years ago, but has almost never happened because the coaching staff is allergic to exploiting potential mismatches.

The touchdown caps an impressive, time-consuming 75-yard drive. I didn’t take any notes on it, though, because I didn’t want to jinx it. I am sane.

— The Seahawks tie the game at 10 with a 48-yarder just before the half. Unprompted, my daughter sings, “There is nothing else, and I love you anyway.” That’s it, young lady. No more playing with haunted dolls.

— In Dallas, Green Bay scores on a 7-yard run from rookie Aaron Jones, who’s getting the start in place of the injured Ty Montgomery. The score is 21-12 after another missed extra point. Bad day for Crosby.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— My son has finished his dinner, and he is singularly focused on playing with bubbles, even though that’s strictly forbidden in the apartment. The kid is WILD about blowing bubbles. It’s not enough to blow bubbles FOR him; he needs to hold onto the wand AND the soap solution himself, even though he ends up immediately dumping the solution out EVERY TIME, which results in tears. So I’ll usually try to hold on to the container with the solution, but he’ll grab at it and start crying.

Please believe me when I tell you I hate these motherfucking bubbles. I am THIS CLOSE to banning all bubble-related objects from the apartment. NO ONE GETS ANY BUBBLES UNTIL YOUR FINE MOTOR SKILLS IMPROVE.

— “Daddy, do you want to go in the hallway?” my daughter asks. My wife is taking the kids to the end of the hall to set up the bubble machine (one of these doohickeys). I tell her I’ll join her as soon as I get a little more work done, and in my head “Cats in the Cradle” plays.

The Rams face a 3rd and 10, the Seahawks blitz their linebackers, and Goff runs more than 20 yards through the space they vacated yards for first down. UGH. In the hallway, I hear the shrieks of delight.

A few plays later, the Rams convert another 3rd and 10 conversion to get into the red zone, and you know what? I don’t really give a shit what the stupid Rams and Seahawks do.

I go out into the hallway. My daughter is shouting “BUBBLES!” and her brother is saying “BUH-BUH!” because he is a tiny diapered caveman. The stress I had from watching football has evaporated. Bubbles, man. I gotta rethink my stance.

— When I go back to the apartment to get some paper towels, I see Jordy Nelson drop a slant that would be a touchdown. Green Bay kicks kicks a field goal (hey, a kick that worked!) to cut the lead to 21-15.

My daughter followed me back inside and, seeing her untouched dinner, suddenly realizes she’s hungry. She eats better when we read to her at mealtime, so I read to her a rugelach recipe from a Smitten Kitchen cookbook. She makes odd requests, OK?

— Hey, the Rams and Seahawks are still tied! How did the Rams blow that scoring chance? Bubbles, man. I ran a bubble screen on them.

— My son comes back into the apartment, and I pull him up into my lap while reading my daughter a marbled pumpkin gingersnap tart recipe. His heart is racing from the excitement in the hallway, and he’s clawing at the neck of his tee shirt. I take it off of him to get him ready for the bath; he’s soaked with sweat. Little dude raved too hard.

— This is too many Seahawks-Rams updates, so let’s wrap this one up, even if it messes with chronology: the Rams can’t stop turning the ball over, and the Seahawks can’t do anything with the ball when they get it. After my kids go to bed, Cooper Kupp drops what would have been a game-winning touchdown. Seahawks win, 16-10.

The lesson: never try to stretch the ball over the goal line if Earl Thomas is in the same ZIP code.

— In Dallas, Green Bay has mounted a comeback despite strategically trying to blind Aaron Rodgers.

The Dallas plan to blind Aaron Rodgers is working http://pic.twitter.com/qWGEOKmX00

— SB Nation GIF (@SBNationGIF) October 8, 2017

YOU FOOLS! Blindness can’t stop Aaron Rodgers! He quarterbacks mostly by echolocation and proprioception.

The light streaming into AT&T Stadium DOES look cool as hell, though. It reminds me of some Getty photos from a few years back:

Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Hard to believe that’s Brandon Weeden under center, isn’t it? Nevertheless, it’s no surprise that a Weeden offense could only look good in still images.

— Dallas has bled a ton of clock with an epic drive to retake the lead, but Rodgers gets the ball back with a minute left and a timeout. He takes the snap staring straight into sun … and throws a perfect back shoulder pass to Davante Adams. On the next play, with the sun still in his eyes, he completes it to Martellus Bennett for another first down. See? He’s like a bat, or a dolphin.

— Anyone who’s ever played the Packers knows how this ends: with an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass, and your heart broken. Mike McCarthy should be jailed for only going to one Super Bowl with this demigod.

— Time for pie!

[junker-town]

NFL Panic Index 2017, Week 4: Remember when the Steelers’ offense was good?

The Steelers might not be the worst 2-1 team in the NFL, but there’s reason to worry. And just how many picks is Aaron Rodgers going to throw? Here’s everything we’re panicked about this week.

The Steelers are 2-1, but it’s a hard to be excited about this 2-1 start.

They barely beat the Browns to open the season, and suffered a stupefying road loss to the Bears last week. The most surprising thing about it is that two of the team’s most reliable offensive stars, Ben Roethlisberger and Le’Veon Bell are struggling.

Bell’s off to his slowest start ever, averaging 3.5 yards per carry and just 79 yards from scrimmage per game so far this season.

Roethlisberger is averaging just 6.7 yards per attempt, his lowest rate since 2009. He was 8-for-23 on passes thrown 10 or more yards downfield, and he overthrew what would have been a 75-yard touchdown to Martavis Bryant to start the game.

According the NFL’s Next Gen Stats, his completed passes are traveling an average of 6.1 yards past the line of scrimmage, while the average for all of his attempts is 10.8 yards through the air. The differential of -4.7 yards is the highest in the NFL. He’s just not hitting the downfield throws like the Steelers and their fans are used to seeing.

It hasn’t slowed Antonio Brown’s production at all. He leads the league with 354 receiving yards, and is averaging 118 yards per game, a career best.

Maybe that’s the problem. Brown accounts for 33 percent of all Roethlisberger’s passing targets so far this season, with Bryant and Bell both available to him. After the Bears game Roethlisberger talked about being too dependent on Brown.

“There were some details I wasn’t on, making the right reads and throwing, maybe trying to force it to AB [...] I just need to be better at taking what the defense gives us and making the right throw.”

Panic index: The offense will come together. Bell had a much better game in Chicago, scoring his first touchdown and averaging over 4 yards per carry. He’s headed for a rebound, and when that happens, the field will open up and give more opportunities to Bryant and the other receivers.

The Browns are still the same old Browns

All offseason, we heard about how the Cleveland Browns would longer be the punchline to every NFL joke. The Bears and Jets were supposed to take on that mantle, while the Browns weren’t expected to be good necessarily, but at least noticeably better than the team that finished last season 1-15.

They went into Week 3 still looking for their first win, but something was different. For the first time since 2015, the Browns were actually favored in a game. And for the first time since 2012, they were favored on the road. And it felt ... right. Their opponent, the Colts, were also 0-2 but looked less impressive.

Then Sunday rolled around and siiiiigh, the Browns still looked the Browns:

With the Bengals' touchdown, there's only one team left that has yet to lead this season ... the Browns.

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 24, 2017

There was the rookie quarterback who threw three picks, a no-name wide receiver corps that dropped eight passes, 113 yards worth of penalties, and a defense that couldn’t contain a quarterback who had been with his new team for three weeks.

You wouldn’t blame any Browns fans who felt like they were living in a sports version of Groundhog Day.

Panic index: Don’t get out those brown paper bags just yet. Even after another deja vu loss, the plan hasn’t changed: show some improvement this year, build on it for next year, and the year after, etc.

On Sunday, there were hints that the rebuild is coming along. DeShone Kizer was much sharper in the second half and led two touchdown drives late in the game. Meanwhile, the Browns were missing a few key players — Jamie Collins, top pick Myles Garrett, wide receiver Corey Coleman — who should all be back eventually this season. Not having playmakers is hurting their chances of getting in the win column right now. But it will come at some point this season, and yes, probably more than once.

And hey, at the very least, the Browns did something they hadn’t done in quite some time: lose to an underdog.

Texans wasted a golden opportunity and it could haunt them

The AFC South is on the upswing. After years of futility, the Titans and Jaguars are both sitting at 2-1. The division is actually competitive, and that may be bad news for the Texans.

The Texans had an opportunity be 2-1 right now, too. They lost a wild one to Tom Brady and the Patriots. And while there’s no shame in losing to New England — especially considering that no rookie quarterback had ever beaten the Patriots at home in the Bill Belichick era — the loss still has to sting, because the Texans very nearly had it. And they blew the chance to win.

Rookie quarterback Deshaun Watson showed off his potential against New England. He completed 22 of 33 passes for 301 yards, two touchdowns, and two interceptions. And Houston’s defense made it a very long day for Tom Brady, who was sacked five times. One sack forced a fumble, which Jadeveon Clowney beautifully ran in for a score.

If there’s one thing you don’t want to do with a lead against the Patriots, it’s give the ball right back to Tom Brady with enough time to execute a two-minute drill. But that’s just what Bill O’Brien did when he opted to not go for it on fourth-and-inches in the fourth quarter. The Texans kicked a field goal instead, and then it was Brady’s time to shine.

But the Texans still had a shot. The defense hit Brady and forced a fumble, but New England recovered. Texans safety Corey Moore nearly picked Brady off, but dropped the potential interception. Then Brady did what Brady does and threw a dime to Brandin Cooks for the win.

For the past two seasons, the Texans have managed to win the division despite a glaring weakness at quarterback. The strength of the defense made up for deficiencies on the other side of the ball, and the fact that the rest of the division wasn’t very good helped. That’s not the case anymore, and it may leave the Texans on the outside looking in when the postseason rolls around.

Panic index: There’s a lot of season left, but it’s reasonable to be a little concerned. Losing to the Patriots is something many teams, including the Texans, do on a regular basis. But that loss hurts a little more because Houston should have won. And sitting at 1-2 when the Titans and Jaguars look improved is far from an ideal position.

The Jets and Bills might regret being suddenly competent

The Bills and Jets seemingly had one mission for 2017; with the Patriots a near-lock to secure their ninth straight AFC East title, the two teams would sit this one out and launch their 2018 seasons with a premier draft pick.

The tank was on from day one in New York, where the Jets went into 2017 with Josh McCown, Bryce Petty, and Christian Hackenberg as their quarterbacks. It took a little longer for the plan to come together in Buffalo. New head coach Sean McDermott waited until the end of the preseason to make his intentions clear, but by trading away Sammy Watkins and Ronald Darby, it appeared the Bills were waiting to rebuild behind a top-three pick in the 2018 NFL Draft.

On Sunday, each team’s tanking strategy took a step in the wrong direction. The Bills, coming off a loss in which they scored three points against the Panthers, found a way to hang 26 on Denver’s vaunted defense — with partial credit to the world’s weakest taunting penalty. With two wins, they’re already in a position where they would have been phased out of the running for Myles Garrett. The Jets, behind a competent day from McCown, recorded a dominant 20-6 win over Miami to earn their first win of the season.

Both were solid wins — especially in Buffalo’s case — that run counter to the unspoken strategy of this year’s race to the bottom. With a solid crop of quarterback prospects on the brink of an NFL career, these two franchises entered 2017 with an opportunity to jump-start their rebuilds by playing abjectly awful football. Unless the Bills and Jets can best a suddenly-vulnerable New England team, their wins in Week 3 could wind up ultimately costing them.

Aaron Rodgers has thrown more picks than Blake Bortles ... and just as many touchdowns

He’s thrown and completed more passes than any QB in the league so far this season. He’s second in passing yards. But it’s hard not to look at Aaron Rodgers and the Packers as struggling just a little bit right now given that he’s on pace for a career high in picks.

This Sunday he threw his first pick-six since 2009, and only the second one of his career. Compare Rodgers’ start this season with his last three seasons.

Three interceptions to start the year isn’t really anything to worry about, even for Aaron Rodgers. Any doubts you had about his season, should’ve been put to rest with the comeback he engineered, especially the touchdown to Jordy Nelson and the throw to Geronimo Allison that set up the game-winning field goal.

Panic index: R-E-L-A-X. There’s nothing wrong with Rodgers; he’s still great. What you should be worried about instead is the fact that he’s been sacked 13 times already this season. The good news is that left tackle David Bakhtiari was listed as limited on Monday with short week, and could be ready to make his season debut. However, Bryan Bulaga, who returned to play last week, sat out.

Joe Flacco is the opposite of elite now

His 8-for-18, 28 yards, and two interceptions might be the worst performance of any quarterback this season, and there have been A LOT of terrible quarterback performances already this year.

Upon further reviews, yes, it was the worst outing by a QB this year.

Joe Flacco recorded a Total QBR of 0.8 today. That's the worst single-game Total QBR of his career and the worst by any QB this season. http://pic.twitter.com/5EuDrRanqo

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) September 24, 2017

He’s averaging a career-worst 5.3 yards per attempt, despite a competent group of receivers and a productive running game. His offensive line isn’t doing him any favors, but this level of performance is too terrible to blame just on the protection.

It’s fair to wonder if his back isn’t all the way healthy.

Panic index: A game against the Steelers next week doesn’t bode well, and after starting the season with two wins, the Ravens will probably be back to .500 after this Sunday. Flacco isn’t just part of the problem; he is the problem. Worse, the Ravens might be stuck with him for a while too.

If only there was another quarterback available who have helped this team ...

[junker-town]

Who is Myles Garrett? 11 fun facts about the likely No. 1 NFL Draft pick

He’s soon to be one of the NFL’s most interesting individuals.

Former Texas A&M defensive end Myles Garrett is expected to be the No. 1 overall pick to the Cleveland Browns in the 2017 NFL Draft, his agent has told SB Nation. Aside from being a former five-star recruit and accounting for 48.5 tackles for a loss in three seasons during his Aggie career, there are a lot of fun and interesting facts about Garrett.

“He marches to a different beat,” A&M head coach Kevin Sumlin said, via USA Today, “and he plays that way, too.”

1. He almost went to Ohio State due to his affection for dinosaurs. Garrett’s obsession with now-extinct creatures was known even back when he was a recruit. In fact, it nearly caused him to commit to OSU, given the school’s paleontology program.

"They're the best in my field," Garrett said via Cleveland.com. "Paleontology, they're ranked No. 2 in big colleges, so that was a big factor. And location, if I want to get away from home, that's the best place to go. And they're a great football team, so it all adds up."

The Buckeyes were included in his final top five.

He ended up at Texas A&M, where he majored in university studies, but he also had minors in business administration and geology. He hasn’t graduated from Texas A&M, but says he plans on going back to school for paleontology, and even wants to pursue “a master's and possibly a Ph.D.”

More dinosaurs:

He says it all started after he saw “Jurassic Park” as a youngster. Garrett said he would dig holes in hopes of excavating fossils. He also compares his playing style to an ancient reptile.

“Deinonychus,” Garrett told [Maria] Taylor. “It’s a type of raptor. It’s fast, vicious, it’s going for the killer blow and it’s got quick feet. I think I’ve got all of those traits.”

2. He writes poetry: In an interview last summer with The Ringer, Garrett said Muhammad Ali’s poetry stuck with him.

Garrett started writing his own poems and found comfort in the act regardless of what was happening in his life. Throughout high school, when asked to present his work, he preferred teachers or classmates to read his poetry aloud in front of the class.

"He writes poetry, reads a lot of poetry," fellow former Aggie Ricky Seals-Jones said. "You go in the locker room in a couple hours and if he's not sleeping, he probably has a book and is reading a book."

Garrett writes poetry about “anything I’m feeling. Love. Happiness. Sadness,” he’s said. “He reads voraciously; on his nightstand recently: Dark Rivers of the Heart, by Dean Koontz and Freaky Deaky, by Elmore Leonard. He sketches ‘people, places, animals, anything that pops into my mind.’”

3. His choice of favorite player says a lot about him. Deacon Jones, the Pro Football Hall of Famer was credited with coining the term “sacks,” which Garrett had 31 of during his Aggie career.

Garrett’s pick is interesting because Jones was retired for decades before Garrett was born. Most young DEs probably look up to current players like DeMarcus Ware, Von Miller, or J.J. Watt.

Jones was also known for his vocal opinions and for his off-field pursuits, such as an acting career. Like Garrett, he was more than just an athlete.

4. He’s wise beyond his years when it comes to social media. Garrett deleted his Instagram and Twitter accounts following his true freshman season at Texas A&M.

"It's just unnecessary," he told his parents, via ESPN. "There's too much foolishness on there."

Garrett re-joined Twitter in March before the draft. He doesn’t tweet all too often, but the account is still very new.

Thanks & gig 'em @verified

— Myles Garrett (@MylesLGarrett) March 27, 2017

5. He thinks his superhero equivalent is The Flash. In a recent interview with ESPN The Magazine, he said that in high school he was called Superman, but prefers a different superhero nickname.

Around here they call me Flash. I prefer Flash. He's the fastest man alive, but he isn't invulnerable like Superman, he doesn't have all these powers, so he has so much pressure on him to keep up with the Justice League, and he handles it so well. That's my life.

6. He had some choice words for Cleveland leading up to the draft. Being the projected No. 1 overall pick to the Browns, the Aggie had a warning for the team. Garrett said if the Browns pass on him at No. 1, he’ll make sure they regret it.

“And because if you don't draft me No. 1, I will punish your team for the next 10 to 12 years,” Garrett said. “I'll knock your QB out of the game every time we play you, and I'll have to kick the hell out of No. 1, whoever it is.”

There are plenty of reasons for the Browns to go with Garrett with the top pick. He’s a dominant pass rusher and should be an impact player from the start.

That’s how Garrett sees things, too.

“Because I'll be a difference maker from day one,” Garrett said. “And I'm not gonna be in any trouble. I'm just gonna make plays and bring a good atmosphere to your organization. And I'm gonna start winning and winning now.”

7. Before that, he really wanted to be a Cowboy. In February, the Arlington, Texas, native sent a video to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, asking him to trade up.

"I'm speaking to you, Jerry," Garrett said. "Mr. [Jason] Garrett, make it happen. Dak Prescott leads our team right now. I need you to take Tony Romo, take a couple picks, and give them to Cleveland so you can pick me up. Please, I'd love to play in Dallas; just make it happen."

8. He’ll take what he feels to be justice into his own hands. “He had it coming,” Garrett said about an LSU tight end. “He just kept holding me, so I picked him up, put him on his back and then I grabbed his face mask and kept jamming his helmet into the ground. I said, "I'm setting you straight right now. Don't do illegal holds."

Nola.com:

Garrett did not say which LSU tight end he was talking about, but the ESPN broadcast showed Garrett throwing LSU tight end DeSean Smith to the turf as Derrius Guice scored a touchdown that put the Tigers ahead 34-10 in the third quarter, on a play for which Garrett drew an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

On the next play, the broadcast showed Garrett on top of Foster Moreau with the LSU tight end flat on his back after the extra-point kick. There was no penalty on that play.

9. He’s skipping the draft event to eat seafood. Garrett won’t be one of the 22 attendees at the draft in Philadelphia. Instead, his plans if he gets selected No. 1 overall include hugging his parents and then getting right back to eating his crawfish.

10. He hopes to bring Texas-style tacos to Cleveland. The place is called Fuego, and it apparently is Garrett’s favorite place. He loves it so much that in his Players’ Tribune love letter to College Station, he asked the city that drafts him to open a Fuego.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention something else I’ll miss deeply: Fuego, the finest taco dispensary on the planet. Those tacos were always there for me when I needed them most. Wherever I end up next, I will do whatever I can to make sure that Fuego opens a franchise in that city. This is something that is very important to me.

11. He ran the 40 faster than Deshaun Watson at the Combine. It wasn’t just the Clemson QB; Garrett out-ran all of the top quarterbacks in February with his 4.64 time in Indianapolis. Oh, and did we mention he’s 6’4, 242 pounds?

[junker-town]

Who is Myles Garrett? 11 fun facts about the likely No. 1 NFL Draft pick

He’s soon to be one of the NFL’s most interesting individuals.

Former Texas A&M defensive end Myles Garrett is expected to be the No. 1 overall pick to the Cleveland Browns in the 2017 NFL Draft. Aside from being a former five-star recruit and accounting for 48.5 tackles for a loss in three seasons during his Aggie career, there are a lot of fun and interesting facts about Garrett.

“He marches to a different beat,” A&M head coach Kevin Sumlin said, via USA Today, “and he plays that way, too.”

1. He almost went to Ohio State due to his affection for dinosaurs. Garrett’s obsession with now-extinct creatures was known even back when he was a recruit. In fact, it nearly caused him to commit to OSU, given the school’s paleontology program.

"They're the best in my field," Garrett said via Cleveland.com. "Paleontology, they're ranked No. 2 in big colleges, so that was a big factor. And location, if I want to get away from home, that's the best place to go. And they're a great football team, so it all adds up."

The Buckeyes were included in his final top five.

He ended up at Texas A&M, where he majored in university studies, but he also had minors in business administration and geology. He hasn’t graduated from Texas A&M, but says he plans on going back to school for paleontology, and even wants to pursue “a master's and possibly a Ph.D.”

More dinosaurs:

He says it all started after he saw “Jurassic Park” as a youngster. Garrett said he would dig holes in hopes of excavating fossils. He also compares his playing style to an ancient reptile.

“Deinonychus,” Garrett told [Maria] Taylor. “It’s a type of raptor. It’s fast, vicious, it’s going for the killer blow and it’s got quick feet. I think I’ve got all of those traits.”

2. He writes poetry: In an interview last summer with The Ringer, Garrett said Muhammad Ali’s poetry stuck with him.

Garrett started writing his own poems and found comfort in the act regardless of what was happening in his life. Throughout high school, when asked to present his work, he preferred teachers or classmates to read his poetry aloud in front of the class.

"He writes poetry, reads a lot of poetry," fellow former Aggie Ricky Seals-Jones said. "You go in the locker room in a couple hours and if he's not sleeping, he probably has a book and is reading a book."

Garrett writes poetry about “anything I’m feeling. Love. Happiness. Sadness,” he’s said. “He reads voraciously; on his nightstand recently: Dark Rivers of the Heart, by Dean Koontz and Freaky Deaky, by Elmore Leonard. He sketches ‘people, places, animals, anything that pops into my mind.’”

3. His choice of favorite player says a lot about him. Deacon Jones, the Pro Football Hall of Famer was credited with coining the term “sacks,” which Garrett had 31 of during his Aggie career.

Garrett’s pick is interesting because Jones was retired for decades before Garrett was born. Most young DEs probably look up to current players like DeMarcus Ware, Von Miller, or J.J. Watt.

Jones was also known for his vocal opinions and for his off-field pursuits, such as an acting career. Like Garrett, he was more than just an athlete.

4. He’s wise beyond his years when it comes to social media. Garrett deleted his Instagram and Twitter accounts following his true freshman season at Texas A&M.

"It's just unnecessary," he told his parents, via ESPN. "There's too much foolishness on there."

Garrett re-joined Twitter in March before the draft. He doesn’t tweet all too often, but the account is still very new.

Thanks & gig 'em @verified

— Myles Garrett (@MylesLGarrett) March 27, 2017

5. He thinks his superhero equivalent is The Flash. In a recent interview with ESPN The Magazine, he said that in high school he was called Superman, but prefers a different superhero nickname.

Around here they call me Flash. I prefer Flash. He's the fastest man alive, but he isn't invulnerable like Superman, he doesn't have all these powers, so he has so much pressure on him to keep up with the Justice League, and he handles it so well. That's my life.

6. He had some choice words for Cleveland leading up to the draft. Being the projected No. 1 overall pick to the Browns, the Aggie had a warning for the team. Garrett said if the Browns pass on him at No. 1, he’ll make sure they regret it.

“And because if you don't draft me No. 1, I will punish your team for the next 10 to 12 years,” Garrett said. “I'll knock your QB out of the game every time we play you, and I'll have to kick the hell out of No. 1, whoever it is.”

There are plenty of reasons for the Browns to go with Garrett with the top pick. He’s a dominant pass rusher and should be an impact player from the start.

That’s how Garrett sees things, too.

“Because I'll be a difference maker from day one,” Garrett said. “And I'm not gonna be in any trouble. I'm just gonna make plays and bring a good atmosphere to your organization. And I'm gonna start winning and winning now.”

7. Before that, he really wanted to be a Cowboy. In February, the Arlington, Texas, native sent a video to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, asking him to trade up.

"I'm speaking to you, Jerry," Garrett said. "Mr. [Jason] Garrett, make it happen. Dak Prescott leads our team right now. I need you to take Tony Romo, take a couple picks, and give them to Cleveland so you can pick me up. Please, I'd love to play in Dallas; just make it happen."

8. He’ll take what he feels to be justice into his own hands. “He had it coming,” Garrett said about an LSU tight end. “He just kept holding me, so I picked him up, put him on his back and then I grabbed his face mask and kept jamming his helmet into the ground. I said, "I'm setting you straight right now. Don't do illegal holds."

Nola.com:

Garrett did not say which LSU tight end he was talking about, but the ESPN broadcast showed Garrett throwing LSU tight end DeSean Smith to the turf as Derrius Guice scored a touchdown that put the Tigers ahead 34-10 in the third quarter, on a play for which Garrett drew an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

On the next play, the broadcast showed Garrett on top of Foster Moreau with the LSU tight end flat on his back after the extra-point kick. There was no penalty on that play.

9. He’s skipping the draft event to eat seafood. Garrett won’t be one of the 22 attendees at the draft in Philadelphia. Instead, his plans if he gets selected No. 1 overall include hugging his parents and then getting right back to eating his crawfish.

10. He hopes to bring Texas-style tacos to Cleveland. The place is called Fuego, and it apparently is Garrett’s favorite place. He loves it so much that in his Players’ Tribune love letter to College Station, he asked the city that drafts him to open a Fuego.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention something else I’ll miss deeply: Fuego, the finest taco dispensary on the planet. Those tacos were always there for me when I needed them most. Wherever I end up next, I will do whatever I can to make sure that Fuego opens a franchise in that city. This is something that is very important to me.

11. He ran the 40 faster than Deshaun Watson at the Combine. It wasn’t just the Clemson QB; Garrett out-ran all of the top quarterbacks in February with his 4.64 time in Indianapolis. Oh, and did we mention he’s 6’4, 242 pounds?

[junker-town]

Myles Garrett loves dinosaurs, and 10 more fun facts about the likely No. 1 NFL Draft pick

He’s soon to be one of the NFL’s most interesting individuals.

Former Texas A&M defensive end Myles Garrett is expected to be the No. 1 overall pick to the Cleveland Browns in the 2017 NFL Draft. Aside from being a former five-star recruit and accounting for 48.5 tackles for a loss in three seasons during his Aggie career, there are a lot of fun and interesting facts about Garrett.

“He marches to a different beat,” A&M head coach Kevin Sumlin said, via USA Today, “and he plays that way, too.”

1. He almost went to Ohio State due to his affection for dinosaurs. Garrett’s obsession with now-extinct creatures was known even back when he was a recruit. In fact, it nearly caused him to commit to OSU, given the school’s paleontology program.

"They're the best in my field," Garrett said via Cleveland.com. "Paleontology, they're ranked No. 2 in big colleges, so that was a big factor. And location, if I want to get away from home, that's the best place to go. And they're a great football team, so it all adds up."

The Buckeyes were included in his final top five.

He ended up at Texas A&M, where he majored in university studies, but he also had minors in business administration and geology. He hasn’t graduated from Texas A&M, but says he plans on going back to school for paleontology, and even wants to pursue “a master's and possibly a Ph.D.”

More dinosaurs:

He says it all started after he saw “Jurassic Park” as a youngster. Garrett said he would dig holes in hopes of excavating fossils. He also compares his playing style to an ancient reptile.

“Deinonychus,” Garrett told [Maria] Taylor. “It’s a type of raptor. It’s fast, vicious, it’s going for the killer blow and it’s got quick feet. I think I’ve got all of those traits.”

2. He writes poetry: In an interview last summer with The Ringer, Garrett said Muhammad Ali’s poetry stuck with him.

Garrett started writing his own poems and found comfort in the act regardless of what was happening in his life. Throughout high school, when asked to present his work, he preferred teachers or classmates to read his poetry aloud in front of the class.

"He writes poetry, reads a lot of poetry," fellow former Aggie Ricky Seals-Jones said. "You go in the locker room in a couple hours and if he's not sleeping, he probably has a book and is reading a book."

Garrett writes poetry about “anything I’m feeling. Love. Happiness. Sadness,” he’s said. “He reads voraciously; on his nightstand recently: Dark Rivers of the Heart, by Dean Koontz and Freaky Deaky, by Elmore Leonard. He sketches ‘people, places, animals, anything that pops into my mind.’”

3. His choice of favorite player says a lot about him. Deacon Jones, the Pro Football Hall of Famer was credited with coining the term “sacks,” which Garrett had 31 of during his Aggie career.

Garrett’s pick is interesting because Jones was retired for decades before Garrett was born. Most young DEs probably look up to current players like DeMarcus Ware, Von Miller, or J.J. Watt.

Jones was also known for his vocal opinions and for his off-field pursuits, such as an acting career. Like Garrett, he was more than just an athlete.

4. He’s wise beyond his years when it comes to social media. Garrett deleted his Instagram and Twitter accounts following his true freshman season at Texas A&M.

"It's just unnecessary," he told his parents, via ESPN. "There's too much foolishness on there."

Garrett re-joined Twitter in March before the draft. He doesn’t tweet all too often, but the account is still very new.

Thanks & gig 'em @verified

— Myles Garrett (@MylesLGarrett) March 27, 2017

5. He thinks his superhero equivalent is The Flash. In a recent interview with ESPN The Magazine, he said that in high school he was called Superman, but prefers a different superhero nickname.

Around here they call me Flash. I prefer Flash. He's the fastest man alive, but he isn't invulnerable like Superman, he doesn't have all these powers, so he has so much pressure on him to keep up with the Justice League, and he handles it so well. That's my life.

6. He had some choice words for Cleveland leading up to the draft. Being the projected No. 1 overall pick to the Browns, the Aggie had a warning for the team. Garrett said if the Browns pass on him at No. 1, he’ll make sure they regret it.

“And because if you don't draft me No. 1, I will punish your team for the next 10 to 12 years,” Garrett said. “I'll knock your QB out of the game every time we play you, and I'll have to kick the hell out of No. 1, whoever it is.”

There are plenty of reasons for the Browns to go with Garrett with the top pick. He’s a dominant pass rusher and should be an impact player from the start.

That’s how Garrett sees things, too.

“Because I'll be a difference maker from day one,” Garrett said. “And I'm not gonna be in any trouble. I'm just gonna make plays and bring a good atmosphere to your organization. And I'm gonna start winning and winning now.”

7. Before that, he really wanted to be a Cowboy. In February, the Arlington, Texas, native sent a video to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, asking him to trade up.

"I'm speaking to you, Jerry," Garrett said. "Mr. [Jason] Garrett, make it happen. Dak Prescott leads our team right now. I need you to take Tony Romo, take a couple picks, and give them to Cleveland so you can pick me up. Please, I'd love to play in Dallas; just make it happen."

8. He’ll take what he feels to be justice into his own hands. “He had it coming,” Garrett said about an LSU tight end. “He just kept holding me, so I picked him up, put him on his back and then I grabbed his face mask and kept jamming his helmet into the ground. I said, "I'm setting you straight right now. Don't do illegal holds."

Nola.com:

Garrett did not say which LSU tight end he was talking about, but the ESPN broadcast showed Garrett throwing LSU tight end DeSean Smith to the turf as Derrius Guice scored a touchdown that put the Tigers ahead 34-10 in the third quarter, on a play for which Garrett drew an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

On the next play, the broadcast showed Garrett on top of Foster Moreau with the LSU tight end flat on his back after the extra-point kick. There was no penalty on that play.

9. He’s skipping the draft event to eat seafood. Garrett won’t be one of the 22 attendees at the draft in Philadelphia. Instead, his plans if he gets selected No. 1 overall include hugging his parents and then getting right back to eating his crawfish.

10. He hopes to bring Texas-style tacos to Cleveland. The place is called Fuego, and it apparently is Garrett’s favorite place. He loves it so much that in his Players’ Tribune love letter to College Station, he asked the city that drafts him to open a Fuego.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention something else I’ll miss deeply: Fuego, the finest taco dispensary on the planet. Those tacos were always there for me when I needed them most. Wherever I end up next, I will do whatever I can to make sure that Fuego opens a franchise in that city. This is something that is very important to me.

11. He ran the 40 faster than Deshaun Watson at the Combine. It wasn’t just the Clemson QB; Garrett out-ran all of the top quarterbacks in February with his 4.64 time in Indianapolis. Oh, and did we mention he’s 6’4, 242 pounds?