#regardless my mental health absolutely impacts how i perceive judaism and how i see g-d and i want to be open about that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shalom-iamcominghome · 1 month ago

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I was dreading Yom Kippur for a while, but honestly, it has been so healing and I didn't think that was what I'd be feeling.

In the time between my fears about Yom Kippur and today, I've (maybe) had an intense mixed episode for the past few weeks and today is the first day I feel... somewhat normal. And spending this time with everyone, admitting to each other and to g-d that we missed the mark last year, that we are human has been really intense.

I'm emotionally exhausted, but when my fist is against my chest, when we're singing about our faults... It doesn't hurt as badly. It's this idea that, no, I'm not some demon because we all have done these sins and we're all pleading to g-d for atonement as equals is just... It's something I never really consider to be true.

#jumblr #jew by choice #jewish conversion #yom kippur #personal thoughts tag #i may or may not have bipolar and may or may not have had another episode and i may or may not be out of it now #regardless my mental health absolutely impacts how i perceive judaism and how i see g-d and i want to be open about that #something to talk to my rabbi about......................#ngl i've already had intense discussion with him so i guess he's going to think i'm Messed Up (true)#g-d humbled me but why did it have to hurt so bad g-d. i'm just a little guy... i'm just Your little guy (lighthearted)#i think yom kippur is going to have a special place in my mind and i wasn't anticipating that to be the case

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