BOOM 💥 💥 💥
2 REQUESTS IN A ROW
this is kinda angsty, but I live some teenage angst!
Could we have an idol!reader, who is asked to do a performance to gain more attention for the hotel, and when she starts singing, she breaks down? ( to the song the disaperance of hatsune Miku, rachies English version or the Japanese version is okay :D)
And when she finishes her performance, she starts to go to Heaven, but rejects them to stay with her found family at the hotel?
I'd say this happens a little after sir pentious, so it would be quite shocking to hell and Heaven.
[I think I requested something like this before, idk if you got it tho]
Only do this if you feel comfortable doing it hun,
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEAS
Sincere apologies for my delsiondd rambles,
- XIN 💫
GOOD EVENING XIN! as per usual you give amazing requests, You did request it before it just for some reason didn't show up on my phone but it did on my laptop [SHAME ON TUMBLR FOR TRYING TO HIDE YOUR WONDERFUL REQUESTS]
I hope you enjoy!
Showtime
Hazbin hotel x Idol reader!
Warnings: industry exploitation, child abuse, Implied suicide [not of reader], Implied bullying, betrayal and sabotage [by reader] some lyrics were tweaked to fit reader.
Song
You died at the height of your career, you trained tirelessly from childhood until your death, fought tooth and nail to climb up the ladder of fame, lost friends and gained rivals, did whatever you could to keep the spotlight.
In the end when you were attacked on stage by a crazed fan who had developed a parasocial relationship with you, convinced that you were theirs and felt betrayed that you were hanging out with others.
They had rammed a knife into your chest and fled the scene being chased by security, leaving you to bled out on stage with the stage lights shining down on you
Your last thoughts were wondering if you had squandered your life, was the spotlight worth all this pain and suffering? Would you even be remembered?
You had found the hazbin hotel soon after your death, it was a nice break from all the chaos in hell, you had grown close with the residents there, you had fought beside them during extermination day, you had grieved for Sir Pentious and you had been there to rebuild the hotel.
You were particularly close with Charlie, seeing her as a older sister figure, after being forced up against the other women in your life it was refreshing, relieving, to have someone like her as your friend.
She reminded you of someone you knew when you were alive, someone you wished you had kept in your life until the end.
So when she asked you to put on a little performance to convince people to join the hotel, you said yes without hesitation, she didn't know that you died on stage during a performance, only about you being an idol in life.
And now you were here, standing in attire that was fitting for an music idol like you, trying to steady your breathing as Vaggie was talking to you through an ear piece telling you that the curtains were about to open and to get ready.
It was time to give Eminem or whoever can say words fast a run for their money.
"Ever since I was born, from that day I had known, That I am nothing more than a source of entertainment,"
You kept your eyes closed shut as the curtains opened up.
"Even so, I'll keep singing until destroyed, living forever, yes I am a star, If for example the thing singing was just a toy that would sing back the tunes that you gave to them,"
Were you breathing?
"I'd think that was alright, while I look at the sky, bite this leek, see the soup pouring from my eyes, but even so, it'll disappear, that I know, a personality changing with every song, everything I was built on wasn't strong,"
Oh, you definitely weren't breathing!
"All of the places I knew they're already gone, everyone that I know, they don't remember me, Heart or a soul I have nothing left inside me, I can see the center of the void,"
You opened your eyes and stared out onto the crowd of sinners that Charlie had managed to convince to show up at the hotel for this.
"The world is ending for me, I'm a star."
You took in a breath, as music played behind you, clutching the microphone in your hand until your hand turned a different color.
"Even when my voice wouldn't sing properly… you were always there for me,"
Your first performance on a stage since your traumatic death,
"You kept me by your side… you always encouraged me,"
You couldn't help but look around, Frank, the remaining one of Sir Pentious's eggs was managing the stage lights.
"Please let me see you smile again… please,"
Husker was at the bar serving drinks to hyped up sinners, Alastor was watching from somewhere, Angel dust, Charlie and Vaggie were behind the stage, Charlie gave you a encouraging thumbs up when she noticed you looking over.
"Because… I promised you… a song"
You couldn't afford to be nervous, anxious or worry about someone recreating your death, you had people around you that would protect you.
"Long ago, I had loved to sing,"
You remember singing in your childhood bedroom, dancing to some celebrity's music video, you remember telling your mother that you wanted to be a singer when you grew up.
You were a kid you didn't know you what you were getting into when she threw you into idol training at the young age of six or seven!
"But now, when I do, I don't feel a thing,"
The amount of exploitation and abuse you went through.
"Where, oh where, did my happiness go?"
You were too young for it, why didn't your mother protect you? Why didn't ANYONE protect you?
"I don't know—I don't know, don't know anymore,"
Your grip around the microphone loosened.
"I'm sorry,"
You weren't the only one.
"That face I still remember, smiling through any weather,"
You had a friend, back in the early days, you couldn't remember her name but you remember how she looked, from how her lovely eyes lit up when you entered the room, from her curled hair, from her joyous laughter.
"Just thinking of it makes me feel much better,"
You truly didn't deserve her, she, much like you was thrown into this life by a mother wanting to live through her.
"All my sounds are fading out, and I can see,"
You were forced to sabotage her in order to continue on in that heartless industry.
"The end is getting closer now…"
You were told that it was going to be worth it in the end, that all the pain and suffering, all the heartache, all the betraying would be worth it when people would scream your name at sold out shows.
"Everything that I believed in turned out to be such a stupid fantasy,"
What a load of bullshit that was, all it did was make you friendless and alone.
"A reflection of how I wanted things to be,"
You decided you didn't want to be a singer anymore when you were around twelve, and you told your mom that you didn't want to do it anymore.
"I'm ending everything I know,"
You remember that conversation like it was yesterday, so clear in your mind.
"What do you mean you don't want to do this anymore?!"
"I don't wanna sing anymore Mommy, I wanna be something else,"
"Like what?"
"An architect! They-"
You didn't get to finished your sentence as her hand flew across your face leaving a red mark behind.
"Screaming out in pain, might as well rip out my throat,"
You kept your mouth shut from then on.
"Much too fast, I will sing and cry, this is my goodbye,"
The fact that woman wasn't down here with you yet was proof that she was probably still alive profiting off your death.
Even in death you couldn't be freed from her using you as a cash cow.
"I can't abandon the fantasy that I know, Everything you see about me is only show,"
It was ironic, you preferred being hell over being alive with that woman.
"Heart is exhausted and weak but I'm not afraid, All I can do now is watch as I fade away, as for the strength and the will left inside of me, I'm just a kid, I don't know what you want from me,"
You weren't breathing again.
"What can I do now as I look on at your face?, So full of happiness and yet so full of pain, slowly but surely I feel my world caving in, guess this is what they call the recycling bin, one by one after another my memories start to delete, I'll never retrieve them but, They'll never take away my memories of you,"
you really should breathe now.
"Times that we laughed and the fun things we used to do, all I can hope is that you won't forget them too, I can still taste the leeks as if they're good as new,"
To the public you were known as a sweet angel that could do no wrong, in the industry you were a foe not to be messed with, known to tear down any competition no matter the consequences, the barred off rooftop was proof of that, and behind closed doors you were a shell used by your mother, a victim that became the perpetuator, someone who instead of ending the circle of abuse just passed it on.
“I still wanna sing… I, I still... I still wanna sing!”
You tightened your hand around the microphone, memories flashing through your mind, from your past, those girls that you had treated horrifically.
“It… looks like… I haven't been… a good girl…''
Where did they end up? Heaven or hell? What was the result of their fall?
"Mother… please… just end it all… end my suffering,"
You've done things that were unforgivable, and yet.
"I don't want to see you sad… because of me anymore,”
The people in this hotel didn't judge you, okay a couple of them did but for the most part they didn't, everyone had fucked up one way or another.
"Nowadays, when I try to sing,"
You didn't think you were worthy of getting redeemed, after what you did.
"I can feel my body rip at the seams,"
But Charlie did, she thought you were worthy enough.
"Desperately, praying for some kind of miracle,"
You got to rest the idol persona, you no longer had to hurt others, you could just rest and find out who you were truly away from the limelight, away from that woman, safe in the hotel.
"No one listens, I'm all alone,"
From the two-faced big shot shining idol under a alternative name, to just [Name], it was just you.
"I'm sorry,''
You, who helped out in the hotel, who was friendly with practically anyone, who occasionally played an instrument or two in the lobby.
"That face I still remember, smiling through any weather,"
A beloved hotel resident.
No one cared about who you were before.
"When I think of it, something's lost forever,"
You were so grateful that you had met everyone in the hotel, that they had given you a second chance.
"All this noise I make grates on my heart somehow,"
They were your family, not the one you left behind when you died, the people in this hotel was your family.
"The end is getting closer now…"
The crowds eyes were on you.
"Everything that I protected turned out to be a delusion in the end,''
A golden shining light shun down around you, it wasn't a stage light,
You took a glance at Charlie, a giant smile was prevalent on her face as realization hit.
Redemption worked.
"Stabbing me with the love I'll never have again,''
You could feel yourself getting lighter,
"If I tried saying how I feel,"
You didn't want to go! Not yet, isn't it too cruel to take you away from here?
Or was it merciful because this was hell after all, you should be glad, so why weren't you?
"Would even reach you before I disappeared?"
Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty, hell even Alastor!
Would you ever see them again if you go up?
"Not enough time to sing or cry, this is my goodbye,"
You wiped a glimmering tear from your face as you began to float, what had you done to trigger this?!
"Ever since I was born, from that day I had known, that I am nothing more than a source of entertainment, even so, I'll keep singing until destroyed,"
Would you have enough time to finish the song?
"Living forever, yes I am a star, if for example the thing singing was just a toy that would sing back the tunes that you gave to them, I'd think that was alright,''
Sinner's looked at you with confusion, awe, realization, hope, and other things you couldn't put a finger on.
"While I look at the sky, bite this leek, see the soup pouring from my eyes, slowly but surely I feel my world caving in guess this is what they call the recycling bin,"
You were fading away into dust, 'I don't feel so good Mr. Stark' style, maybe you weren't getting redeemed and this was just a random attack.
No, no that was silly.
"One by one after another my memories start to delete, I'll never retrieve them but they'll never take away my memories of you, times that we laughed and the fun things we used to do,''
No matter what became of you above, you would never forget those in this hotel.
"All I can hope is that you won't forget them too, I can still taste the leeks as if they're good as new, finally it’s the finale, my final song, just what will happen to you when I'm redeemed and gone?"
You wondered if you'd get to see her again, could you apologize for what you did back then?
"I only wanted to sing for you once again, but I guess it was too big a wish in the end, this is where I say goodbye but I'm not afraid, All of my feelings have finally faded away,"
You didn't have much time left did you, they should've at least given you a chance to say goodbye! Or at least waited.
"Being reduced to a string of zeroes and ones, this is the end of me, soon I won't know I'm gone, fading away from here until there’s nothing left, it's so pathetic right? Now that I think of it,"
You wanted to hang out with Angel dust one more time, you wanted Husk to show you magic tricks again, you wanted to listen into Alastor's broadcast, you wanted to help Niffty hunt down roaches, you wanted Vaggie to teach you how to defend yourself again, You wanted to continue helping Charlie!
"Only the memories of my voice will remain, You might forget me but please don't forget my name,''
You prayed that they would remember you if you couldn't see them again.
"If that alone could come true I can rest in peace, lasting forever like how I was supposed to be,"
You were almost fully faded, you looked around at your family, they were emotional although most tried to hide it.
Charlie's eyes were filled with tears, you did it, you were getting redeemed like she thought you would.
"This is the end now but I like to think someday, that even if I die, this song will still remain,"
What a fitting end for you.
"Thank you so much… and finally… goodbye for good."
The last person you saw was Charlie.
You were gone, the shining light faded away from the stage leaving a bittersweet feeling and stunned sinners.
You had done your goal considering many sinners that were there that night checked into the hazbin hotel.
"Charlie, We're back for the week!" You shouted as you hopped out of the swirling portal thing, a shining halo on your head, lovely fluffy white wings on your back, and a softer color palette,
You had convinced heaven to let you come back bi-weekly along with Sir Pentious who surprise surprise was redeemed! it felt like custody visits, which it essentially was.
You got to see your family and you got to reside in heaven.
Like Hannah Montana says, best of both worlds.
"[Name], Pentious! Just in time we're about to do a trust exercise!" she said gesturing to a group of sinners, some of them giving you a little wave or a nod of acknowledgment,
"Sweet! I'll help out or participate depending on what we're doing." You said skipping over to her.
It was good to be home.
Tune in Friday for the other request our beloved Xin sent in, it's fluffy!
Good evening folks! I hope you enjoyed! The disappearance of Hatsune Miku is imbedded in my brain now I love it, The sped up parts did give me a little trouble with pacing but I'm never good with pacing these, also for those who caught it, yes that was a Sarah-lynn reference!
We also have a discord server now if you lovely folks would like to join!
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