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eagesoldartblog · 5 years ago

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Loveless Glasses

What was Valentine's Day, but a way to monetize a holiday primarily based around affection and joy around lovers? Or not. Vivi muses, drumming her fingers against the leather seat. Whatever it was, Vivi didn’t celebrate it. Hell, she didn’t start until a few years ago, and even then it was minimal at best. Minimal being- she bought all the candy she could get February 15th and snack for the rest of the month while listening to podcasts around various whatzahavits and reading strange textbooks in her spare time.

Arthur, on the other hand, was much different. Vivi couldn't wrap her head around that fact. At first, she didn't even notice it, but leading up to it, Arthur was slowly changing out the colors of his outfit into light pinks and reds. Then on the eve of the mediocre holiday, he would use his spare time to make them-... her gifts for the day. Last year he spent the entire week making her a custom leather bound book, going as far as to take a class on book binding, just for that! … Not that she didn't appreciate it, no, she was stunned beyond belief and wanted to do something for him as well. But… this behavior was startling obvious when they spent a majority of their time cramped in the van. She glances over her shoulder, watching Mystery snooze in a ball on one of her spare hoodies, unaware of Arthur’s persistent work. Then again, he may have purposefully started to drown it out. Glancing back over at him, her eyes fall to the many, many cans scattered around him. So unaware and oblivious to her watching him for the upteenth time that week.

Don’t get her wrong, she loves road trips, and she loves catching surprises when they were still in development. Spending time with certain people and having a glorified sleep over over the course of a month, or week. Even better when she is so completely aware as to why they’re so excited about whatever they’re hiding from her. Vivi never let them know that she did. And she loved how their eyes would light up and the joy that went into it. But this?

She didn’t love this. Didn’t love how he stayed up all night working and scouring his computer for nonexistent clues, and now he hardly sleeps more than an hour per night - especially now due to the fact that he’s tinkering with a pair of sunglasses..

Pink, a sharp magenta.

Hesitantly, Vivi brushes her fingers against the wire of her black ones. Those pink ones broke last week, and she was more than happy to forget about them- she didn't even know where she got it, much less why she wore it- and instead being content with these raggedly black ones. They had a charm to them. But no matter what she said, Arthur insisted. Reluctantly she handed them over for him to start blueprinting and getting to work… Said he can add something that allows her to spot more spiritual entities.

Watching this? She wished she simply threw them out. Nonetheless, her focus reverts back to Arthur. To his hunched back and his stained and dirtied vest that Arthur always cared about. He always got fussy over it,

Something is wrong here. It shouldn’t be going this way. It shouldn’t.

The thoughts had been repeating in the back of her head ever since this road trip started. Getting louder and more persistent to the point where Vivi couldn’t ignore it. And despite that, she didn't act on it by Arthurs request.

Crawling over the seats, she hops onto the lower deck She should have put a stop to this a long fucking time ago. Her black rimmed glasses slip from off her nose and clatters to the floor, but Vivi doesn’t notice, even when it cracks and a lense pops from under her foot.

The van shifts and rocks from the sudden weight change, finally popping the little Buble Arthur was trapped in, and his brain flicker with dizziness when he looks back at her. Evident by how his head waved and he gripped the ground.

For some reason, Vivi freezes. Her sleep ridden brain skidding to a stop like a deer in headlights, and it didn’t provide a proper response until Arthurs expression changes. For the first time in what seems like months, the corners of his mouth draw up, and he smiles at her, “Hey Vi.. Happy Valentines da..”

That was enough. Cogs turning in her head and the sound drowns him out because Vivi isn't able to hear him past the rising ring. Built up emotion suppressed so heavily Vivi couldn’t distinguish what it was made of. But the ugly mix of steam powers her body forth, feet so heavy that she was almost stomping. That is until he’s watching her with alarm, staring up at her with an expression of confusion decorating his face.

Over her shoulder, Vivi can hear Mystery yawn. Jump over the cushions, and she can feel like piercing stare drive into her shoulder. If she was any less confused, and tired, she would send the white dog a reassuring smile.

But she wasn’t. In a fashion that was far too dramatic- even for her- she falls to her knees, forehead bouncing and hitting his shoulder.

“Viv’?” He tosses his lap top aside and Vivi resist the urge to spit at it. Instead half focusing on the alarm evident in his eyes. When Vivi doesn’t respond, only sinking in closer, it occurs to him. Arthur grips one of her arms gently and loops his metal one. He knew why. Didn’t need an explanation for her sudden shift in attitude.

Why? She’s tired. Vivi’s really, really fucking tired, hasn’t slept in maybe two days and now the flood gates of thought have opened and allowed her impulsiveness to bleed even more into the box of clarity and action.

It was nothing compared to Arthur, but her head screams and rings and everywhere she looked it was spinning and so blurry and yet falling asleep meant being victim to some panic inducing sleep paralysis or the worry that Arthur would push it too far. The fear and stress was immense.

And every night, Arthur would be there when she tossed and turned. Came to the bark and call from Mystery who often realized when that would occur. Arthur cared, and he loved her. He didn’t need some shitting holiday to express it, and she knew that. He would also give the world to her if given the chance, even if it meant he would die. He was so much better than her in that regard, he actually cares for his friends. He-

Arthur’s lifting her the smallest bit, holding her against his chest with mild difficulty and extreme caution, before plopping her down and rearranging her onto their- her bed. The thought pokes and prods and stabs through her brain, but she couldn’t even come up with a proper reason for feeling this dead. Arthur was suffering, not her!

She knew that. But with it, she only can make out the thrum of something distorted and wrong in her head. Knots and ribbons of wrongness tangled in horrific messes.

Arthur fluffs the pillow under her head and reaches over to snags a folded, knitted blanket adorning primarily yellow and white and- clarity rings through again and Vivi’s mind focus’s on that blanket because she made that for him, why is he- drapes it over her. Gingerly tucking it under her, like a child.

For a single second golden meets bluet, and Arthur gives her his best smile.

Only to try and leap back. Vivi’s arms shot up, fingers tightly lacing behind his back. A yelp gets lodged in his throat as she rips him down against her. Much to his surprise, he’s now laying completely on top of her. Arthur blinks blankly and tries to snag a handle on anything to pull him up until Vivi rolls them both over and he is next to her. A blanket- his blanket- hurriedly being thrown over his side and in that moment he realizes what she's doing, but a bit too late.

Arthur clears his throat, “Vivi-”

“Shut up, I don’t care,” She hisses in response, burying her face against his chest to keep him steady... at least that's one part of the reason, the other part being that she couldn't stand this part of herself and didnt want him to bear witness, “I don't care about this person you’re after. Please, just- fucking stop for one night..” Too late…

Arthur’s body stiffens, the metallic arm is pinned under her side and the other one lowers to hug her. Murmurs something illegible into her hair. “I.. Vivi, I - I have to find him.. F-for you-”

A fit convulses through her and she tightens her hold, she glares harder into his shirt, not caring about the wet drops of tears wetting it now. Instead, “Don’t do it for me then. I would want more than anything in the entire fuckin’ world for you to stop all of this.”

“I can’t-”

Vivi grits her teeth, imaginary steam burning her lungs, “You won't be able to find them if you’re dying, Artie. Wh-what then?” She asks, her voice quivering from frustration- As the ball in her chest fights and jumps to leap out of her chest in the form of sobs and pain and screams instead of the cold determination and sternness she needed. Instead, her shoulders shake and her hug tightens.

Arthur sputters the smallest bit, before his hand is stroking through her hair, maybe having given up on even debating it.

But oh no, that wouldn’t be enough for her, would it?

“Wha- who is this guy..?” Vivi chokes out, already able to recite what Arthur would say next. Her boyfriend. A man with purple hair. Someone so tall you would be able to spot him in every crowd. A man with a smile so sweet and a scent so spicy he’d made your heart melt with just one.

After a few moments of silence, He says his name, and she doesn’t hear it. Nothing from those inaudible syllables makes a difference in her mind besides allowing the floodgates to flow faster and the cogs to turn harder. The results crashing against her eyelids, and soaking through. Running along her face and her body shudders and curls and Arthur doesn't stop holding her.

She's so selfish… Vivi hasn’t ever deserved him… nothing she’s done or will do can truly make up for everything that Arthur has given her and that one thought hurts. It hurts, and cuts and the ache is so strong

“D-did-...” her mouth is moving faster than her thoughts can collect, rampaging through a weakened filter that was too hard to reinforce, one burning question she always forced herself to shove down, no matter what, “did you love him... ?”

With that one question, Arthur’s body stiffens like he was hit by a wall of bricks, shoulders tight and the fingers half buried in her hair halt and nearly grip, “Is that why you keep- why you keep searching…?”

She's such an asshole, why now? Why on his favorite fucking holiday did you decide to have this breakdown?

Silence fills the van. Mind for the laptop’s fan’s blasting and the scratching of Mystery’s nails against the floor as he tries to plug it in the way he always did. Except for Arthurs stilted and shuddering breath and his all too quick heartbeat thumping away at his ribcage. Save for the swirling thoughts that fill her mind and soul and makes each beat of her own feel like earthquakes and lightning striking her arms and legs and bruising her all over.

Silence. That is until Arthur takes a deep breath, and nestles her close, lips pressed to his forehead as he whispers, “I do.. But I love.. I love you too, I love you both…”

They stay there. Until no light is shining in any part of the small space. Until Mystery is snuggling up to her legs and snoring.

Vivi doesn’t let go.

But in the morning, she wakes up to click-clacking and a gift box beside her pillow.

And nothing in her heart.

#mystery skulls animated #msa #mystery skulls fanfic #vithur #vivi yukino #Arthur kingsmen #Angst #hurt and comfort #referenced lewthur #arthur fuckin lOVEs them BOTH okay?#But does vivi know that?#nah #shes just having some bad fuckin days and the Valuentines whatever was there #and she wiped out a glock #Mystery the dog #eage fanfic

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