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nerdygaymormon · 3 months

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Happy Pride

I want to wish a happy Pride to:

Vests

The vest is an iconic lesbian wardrobe staple. For a long time, lesbian fashion has incorporated staples of working-class men's clothing because they are practical and unpolished, which is not typical of women's fashions, and therefore it challenges gender norms. Vests can be formal or casual, they are familiar yet subversive when worn by women, thus making them a lesbian standard.

Frog and Toad

These cottagecore gays are good role models of a loving queer relationship. The first Frog and Toad book was published in 1970. In 1974, the author Arnold Lobel came out as gay to his family. Arnold's daughter has said, “I think ‘Frog and Toad’ really was the beginning of him coming out” because they're “of the same sex and they love each other.” So yes, Frog & Toad are a gay couple.

Cake

In the 1990's and early 2000's, a popular dessert was the Better Than Sex Cake, which was a rich chocolate cake. Well, when you're asexual, the name of that cake hits a little different. In 2004, asexuality.org (AVEN) started using cake as a symbol of asexualness since they believe cake IS better than sex. Asexuals may not have much of an appetite for sex, but that does not mean they have no appetites, thus the popular phrase "I'd rather have cake."

Limp Wrists

Why do we associate a limp wrist with male homosexuality? The ancient Romans viewed limp wrists as effeminate, and the association was further strengthened in the 17th & 18th centuries as one hand with a limp wrist and the other hand placed on the hip in an "I'm a Little Teapot" pose was seen as something men in the royal courts would do, and that sort of leisurely life was considered unmanly. In the modern era queer men have been seen as effeminate, so the limp wrist became associated with them. This association was embraced and reclaimed by queer men, and the wider queer community as a whole.

Unicorns

Unicorns have been used in art since the 4th century BCE and it was the Victorians who firmly linked unicorns with rainbows. In 1978, Gilbert Baker created the rainbow flag as a joyous symbol of the queer community. Given that rainbows and unicorns are so intrinsically linked, it’s unsurprising that the mythical creature started to also be used as a symbol for LGBTQ+ people.

Pansies

“Daisy,” “buttercup,” and especially “pansy,” are flowers which have been used to mean a “flamboyant gay man.” Sometimes the word "pansy" has been positive, sometimes definitely not. In the 1920's & 1930's, the underground clubs of the Prohibition era became a hotspot for queer nightlife with drag queens becoming hugely popular entertainment even among the straight clientelle, and this became known as the "Pansy Craze" in reference to the colorful clothing the performers wore. In 2013, because of the association the pansy has to queer people, a group of people in Atlanta used them to block out hatred by putting cardboard pansies on poles tall enough to block the protesters’ signs, and voila, the Pansy Patrol was born.

Queer Sitting

Improperly sitting is one of many seemingly arbitrary traits (like walking fast and being unable to drive) that the online queer community has claimed as part of queer culture, but it's deeper than it seems. Girls are often taught to sit like a lady, such as keeping their knees pressed together, therefore an act of rebellion can be a woman sitting incorrectly. By not sitting properly, it's a rejection of rules about what we can do with our bodies. In movies & television, for decades censorship codes worked to silence queer voices, and creators developed sophisticated ways of coding queerness through body language, such as the way a character sits. Queer sitting resists the process of assimilation and instead says: do what feels right, do with your body what you would like, not what you are told is proper.

RuPaul's Drag Race

Many of us in the queer community take RuPaul's Drag Race for granted with its 15+ seasons, multiple Emmy wins, spin-offs like All Stars & Secret Celebrity, 15 different international versions, a successful Las Vegas show, and the many memes and catchphrases that have come from the show. It’s easy to forget in the 2000's things were very different. There were gay characters on TV and reality shows like Survivor had openly gay contestants, but until RuPaul’s Drag Race premiered in 2009 there wasn’t a truly successful series made by queer creators, starring queer cast members, and made specifically for a queer audience.

RuPaul's Drag Race brought drag performance to a large audience and presents topics traditionally considered taboo on television, such as that it's okay to not conform to societal expectations around gender and sexuality. The show has spread awareness and acceptance as it provides positive representation of queer people and humanizes us as it showcases the struggles of gay, lesbian, gender-nonconforming and transgender people and as the contestants tell stories of coming out, being affected by HIV/AIDS, being rejected by their families and attacked in the streets.

Quiche

in Anglo-American culture, French cuisine is not viewed as "manly" food, which is the first mark against quiche. During the 1970s, quiche was served at brunch spots frequented by gay men which led to it being seen as a quintessentially queer dish, another mark against this food. Quiche became seen as so effeminate that a 1982 best-selling book satirizing masculine stereotypes was titled Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. Instead of the French name "quiche," if it had been called "scrambled egg pie" it likely wouldn't be considered a food for women and the gays, which just goes to show how lame it is to think of food as gendered in some way, but as long as they keep serving it for brunch, we'll keep eating it

Tumblr

Tumblr is known as "queerest place on the internet" and as a platform that "queer[ed] an entire generation." According to Tumblr, the people who use its site are 193% more likely to be LGBTQ compared to those on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Reddit, Twitter, and Pinterest. Tumblr estimates that 1 in 4 of its users identifies as LGBTQ. An important reason for this is that Tumblr does not require identity cues to be featured, such age, gender, location, relationship status or legal name, which allows users control over their self-presentation and makes it far less likely family and friends may discover their Tumblr account. This privacy allows queer people on Tumblr to feel more comfortable exploring and expressing their queerness.

Tumblr has been a place of important contributions to queer culture. One example is the large number of queer Pride flags which were first introduced and adopted on Tumblr:

In 2010 Jasper V. introduced his design for a Pansexual flag on Tumblr.

The Polysexual flag was created in 2012 by a Tumblr user named Tomlin.

The Genderfluid flag was created by agender Tumblr user JJ Poole in 2014.

The Agender pride flag was designed by Salem X in 2014 on Tumblr.

The Aromantic flag was created and posted by Tumblr user cameronwhimsy in 2014.

The omnisexual flag was designed in 2015 by Tumbler user pastelmemer.

Tumblr user 2Sanon posted a 2 Spirit flag in 2016.

In 2018 a nonbinary lesbian Tumblr blogger named Emily Gwen introduced the Sunset Lesbian flag to be inclusive of butch, trans, and enby lesbians.

#happy pride 🌈#lgbtq+

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armorabs · 4 months

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The Mindy Issue: or, the age discrepancy of patrick and mindy

princess mindy is a character who was created specifically for the (first) spongebob squarepants movie, released in 2004. serving a supporting role in the movie, she's primarily present to assist spongebob and patrick in their quest to retrieve neptune's crown and prove mr. krabs' innocence in the theft to save his life. if you've watched the movie, you already know all this.

mindy as a character was designed by sherm cohen, one of the storyboarders for the series. according to a comment from sherm cohen, she is probably 13 to 14. there has otherwise been no contradicting statements or suggestion that she's any older than that. and with that in mind, she DOES look like a young girl.

she was created to be a pseudo-love interest to patrick star - and we say pseudo on account of the fact she never actually reciprocates patrick's feelings or shows any interest in him beyond the empathy and kindness she feels for all sea life throughout the film - so one would assume she's about the same age as patrick, yes?

well, she could have been... if not for the fact patrick is an adult in the original series. in fact, he's somewhere between ages 26 to 31.

"how can you say that that when a boarder says otherwise?"

it is definitely true that a few boarders saw spongebob and patrick as children and wrote them accordingly - sherm cohen as well as dan povenmire specifically are two who come to mind in this discussion - but boarders do not actually have the final say on what is or isn't true or canon about a character. what does have the final say would be the source material itself and the creator or show runner, respectively.

we know stephen hillenberg - creator of spongebob squarepants as a series, franchise, and character - was prepared to walk out on nickelodeon and the production completely early into development when ordered to make spongebob a child attending school. as the incident is described, the idea completely went against hillenberg's vision for the series and the character. this is why mrs. puff was created - spongebob attending boating school was a proxy to satisfy the network wanting spongebob to attend school, while keeping him as an adult. a proxy wouldn't be necessary if he was a kid, as a regular school would also be established for pearl to attend. so hillenberg always saw spongebob as an adult, and patrick being the same age as spongebob, would therefore also be an adult.

"characters repeatedly refer to spongebob and patrick as kids in the movie, so how can they not be kids?"

while the plot of the first movie does revolve around the fact that spongebob is continuously being referred to as "just a kid," the point is proving that he isn't a kid, just goofy. that he is no less responsible or capable despite being silly - or even childish and immature. it's a plotline that isn't so much coming of age as much as it's proving of age. nothing about him changes, he didn't grow up. he just proved how capable he already was to everyone else who knew him.

of course, that plot point isn't proof in of itself that either of them are adults, and the movie itself relies on the series for context. so what does the series itself have to say about the subject? well, the show itself points towards them being adults, too. in season 1 alone:

a grown, married man talks to his wife about having gone to kindgergarten with spongebob when they were kids in one episode.

both spongebob and patrick talk about high school and prom as some far-off thing that happened to them years ago. this would make them at least 18.

patrick talks about having been to college and meeting new people, with people who would know whether or not he'd ever been to college. this would also make him at least 18.

2000 years after spongebob had been working for the krusty krab for two years is 4017, meaning the series actually takes place around 2017 rather than 1996. if spongebob was born in 1986, this would have made him and patrick 31.

there's of course more evidence outside of the first season: adult women with children talk about how they wish spongebob had fathered their children while obviously attracted to him, which obviously would be inappropriate if spongebob were a child himself. meanwhile patrick has a a driving license, a fishing license, and a license to perform weddings - all requiring you to be at least 16 to 18 in most states. but of course, neither of these are necessarily proof quite like the previous points. it suggests the probability when combined with other facts, but is not proof itself.

but even outside of that - it's clear that both spongebob and patrick are continuously treated differently from pearl. pearl is the only character to have a specific age repeatedly mentioned in the source material, and she is explicitly 16 years old. the two consistently have expectations and responsibilities that are just not expected of children and teenagers in the series, so while the fact they're both home-owners isn't sufficient proof of being adults, their place in the world is.

in fact, as of kamp koral and the patrick star show, both spongebob and patrick are specifically 16 years older than pearl. while one may doubt the legitimacy of spinoffs as proof of their ages - it's important to note that while it isn't clear how much involvement hillenberg had in the development of either spinoff before his death - vincent waller mentions he never got to see the completion of either but little else - he did, apparently, pitch some of the concepts used in kamp koral.

the setting of kamp koral itself debuted in the third spongebob movie, sponge on the run, which was one of the last things we know hillenberg to have been involved with before his passing. the setting of kamp koral - previously known as camp coral, with a c - likely originated from the earliest concept for the story, which involved a parody of it's a wonderful life and iirc was conceptualized by hillenberg himself. so, since those aspects were conceptualized by hillenberg himself, that means the age differences between the characters would either be approved of by him, or solidified by him.

with spongebob being canonically ten in kamp koral, that would mean that as far as hillenberg's vision for the characters ages by the time of his passing went, in the main series spongebob, patrick, and sandy are all around 26, squidward and larry are around 30, while mrs. puff, mr. krabs, and plankton are around 46 in contrast to pearl's 16.

either way, this means that patrick is twelve years older than mindy if he's 26, and seventeen years older if he's 31. so, yeah, yikes!

of course, these weird implications would simply just go away if current show runner vincent waller simply decided to ... say.... have mindy reappear in one of the three shows and explicitly be referred to as being close in age to patrick, maybeeee....? squidward is literally 14 years old in kamp koral so it isn't like a 14 year old mermaid would be out of place in kamp koral... just saaaayingggg...

#spongebob squarepants #princess mindy

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thegirlwholied · 1 year

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fellow period-piece swooners, I have a movie rec for you and I am downright flexing my hand about it. and I am sorry, so sorry, that you cannot watch it right now- because I attended the world premiere at TIFF last night and apparently it's still seeking distribution which means unfortunately there are no gifs yet for me to reblog - but this is your notice to keep a weather eye:

the movie is the Widow Clicquot. the plot is champagne!

...not the celebratory spritz and spray of it all, but the dedication and innovation and passion and knowing-your-taste-and-insisting-on-it of getting bubbles to be just the right size and fuck Napoleon's embargos actually...

also, the people expressing opinions about Napoleon are a British cast pretending to be French - which I guess appeals to the piece of my soul that is Les Mis.

it's beautifully filmed in a way I specifically associate with Pride & Prejudice 2005... which makes sense given the director, Thomas Napper, directed the second camera unit on P&P 2005 & Atonement & Anna Karenina & etc. Joe Wright, who directed those, is a producer here (and was on stage last night & I had no idea who he was whoops).

there's a scene of exploding champagne bottles that may haunt me forever the way the floating cotton in North & South 2004 does. that & the vines.

to quote Taylor Swift, "it's giving cinematography."

the Widow Clicquot herself is played by Haley Bennett (who has been in many things I haven't seen...yes I had to imdb Haley while sitting in the row right behind her but) who I have seen before in Music & Lyrics! As Cora Corman! "Way Back Into Love"! & "Buddha's Delight"- I believe in karma (la, la, la)

anyway she's great in this - the Q&A host after called her performance "transcendant", not wrong - she had a SAG-AFTRA waiver to be there, and thankfully because this was very apparently a passion project throw-everything-you-are-into-it role for her. And her post-movie quotes speaking both about the character's passion and her own- "do something that makes you feel like a goddess!"; "do what you love and let it kill you"- made me a fan.

the Widow Clicquot's dead husband? Tom Sturridge, The Sandman himself and playing just as much a dream as Dream (note: I do not promise "dreamy" I promise "dream" which can also have adjectives like "wild" and "fever" applied). You need a good voice when leaning on some voiceover from letters/memory for a character; he sure has it.

but. Sam Riley. aka Mr Darcy from Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, and Maleficent's hot raven (and looks even better in this imho)- his character is Louis Bohne, Veuve Clicquot's wine merchant, and as much as the Widow herself, his character made me go, "I need to read the book" to learn how much was history v fiction there.

the character dynamic was: damn, of course you're cool with your husband's libertine BFF/possibly-lover, you're secure and he's such fun company.... your husband's tragically gone but his friend helps you out & appreciates your true love of the vineyard without overstepping... well. get yourself a friend you can both giggle with over how hot the new foreman is (Leo Suter filling a historical-eye-candy role) ... AND hook up with yourself. you go girl, & bless your hot bisexual heart fictionalized Louis Bohne.

(hottest kiss in cinema off the top of my head is always the Timothy Olyphant & Jennifer Garner first kiss in Catch & Release. But some scenes here flirt with that level, & it was the Widow/Louis scenes for me).

the sound alone made this one worth seeing in theaters; sounds were so well used (maybe when a movie is so much about taste, & you can't convey taste through a screen, you double down on the senses you can) and it was scored by Bryce Dessner from The National (whose brother has been collaborating on Taylor Swift's recent best tunes)-

the Widow's name is Barbe-Nicole and not to make a Champagne Barbie reference but this hit in the spot Barbie also reached for, in a subtle way, with the effortlessly close relationship she has with her maid (Lizzie from Peaky Blinders! thanks imdb, knew I knew that face) and the woman in a man's world of it all - obviously one who created a successful dynasty of champagne and how did I never know how instrumental women have been in creating champagne as we know it, about to jump down a historical rabbit hole here-

+ also. grief. "you don't understand. he wasn't just someone's first love". an early line + the one that stuck with me.

anyway. not to say I think it's a perfect movie (there were a few "wait I need more information" beats that left me feeling like I *need* and not just want to read the book)... and it didn't make me think "this better be up for an Oscar" (One Life, with Johnny Flynn & Anthony Hopkins which I saw Saturday: made me cry & should be)- though I think it could be for sound!... and I don't know if I'd say it's the movie I enjoyed the most (Flora & Son, out Sept 29) or learned the most from (Paul Simon documentary, all 209 minutes of it, probably takes that of the 4 films I saw)-

But it's the one I'm writing this post about. & I'm going to get the book. It made me want a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne. & to go to the champagne region. & to see gifs of it on my dash, immediately. & I would read fan fic if there was some- it built the characters and its own movie world enough for that, with enough space left to wonder- and when a movie can do that, it thrills me.

anyway Tumblr, or at least the side I always land on. I think you'd like it. I think it's your kind of movie too. and it's filled with a lot of love from people who clearly loved making it. here's to independent productions and the unions fighting for fair deals to make a living doing what they love, here's to feeling like a goddess, here's to gorgeous period pieces and gif makers of scenes to come, here's to the author in the audience who got to see her book on screen- and the movie star who got it made and all of us still working on making our own art into something that can be seen someday. Here's to the passion of creativity in whatever shape it takes, pour the champagne 🍾🥂

#movies #films #widow clicquot #period pieces #movie recs #tag or no tag if you're meant to find this post I think you will #(not to sound like one of those tiktok pseudo psychics ye gods but that's just the tumblr way and why i love it here)#nowhere in this post did i manage to mention the young accountant who shows up looking like he could be one of the Les Amis #and playing a great minor role in the part #but also that #this got long but 🤷🏻‍♀️#sometimes you have something to say to a wider audience than your friends and family and tumblr is the place and people i choose

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slutouttanowhere · 5 months

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Pairing: Jeff Hardy x Leona French™️

Warnings: Randy being a dickhead, use of the insult “freak”

Word count: 5k

A/N: this will be the first installment of my nostalgia WWE fics, for me that would be early 2000s Ruthless Aggression Era. I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Hardy, and growing up I never knew how bad his “demons” were until recently. Don’t worry though these fics will have none of that, I think the man has experienced enough angst in real life I don’t plan on including any of it here. This fic references Beyoncé’s Freakum Dress, any and all lyrics used belongs to said artist. Leona French is my black!oc, her character bio is linked to my pinned post. Hope you all enjoy this silly goofy one shot, leave a like and reblog, follow me ✨

Monday Night Raw 2004

It wasn’t until we were walking through the arena doors that I had second thoughts about tonight. It’s not uncommon for my cousin to talk me into things. Probably why our parents didn’t want us hanging out a lot. “Lita, are you sure about this? I mean I’m not a wrestler, what if they throw food at me?” I turned to her, we walked side by side with our arms linked, but it was more so me holding onto her so I wouldn’t tremble out of my skin.

“Yes, trust me. All the WWE wants right now, are hot girls that can dance and put on a little show in between segments. And if someone throws something at you, it better be flowers or I’m gonna whoop their ass.” She reassured me for what felt like the fifth time in a row, the hallways were lined with WWE talent, some of them waving to Lita as we went. A few of the women’s eyes lingered on me, scrutiny settled deep in their gazes. I’m used to the heat of female competition, but this was something else.

My first Monday Night Raw as an “employee,” I usually only showed up as a fan in the crowd when Lita could get me tickets. I’m supposed to be practicing for my audition with the ballet company, yet here I am half naked about to show my ass for the world. I can only pray my parents aren’t watching. Soon we come to a stop near the end of a deserted hall, two guys who I recognize as Lita’s boyfriend Matt, and his older brother Jeff.

They were dressed similarly as usual, though Jeff’s clothes were more cut up than his younger brothers. His fishnet top was cut so the bottom of the shirt stopped just below his belly button, leaving his lower stomach, and v-line exposed. His arm sleeves coordinated with their all black theme, and were cut up as well. I always admired their edgy style, especially Lita. I knew she got a lot of heat for dressing the way she dressed, in combination with being a hardcore female wrestler.

“Matt, Jeff, you’ve met my cousin Leona before haven’t you?” Lita reintroduced me to her friends, for a moment I felt stupid, because why would they care to remember who I was just because Lita and I were related. I chewed my bottom lip nervously, catching Jeff’s attention.

He laughed sheepishly, “might have been concussed that night if I’m being honest.” He smiled playfully, he was a lot sweeter than what one might think, despite all his tattoos, and multi colored hair, from what I’ve observed. He’s diffident, and mostly to himself, not the misfit you’d think he was. The pictures in the magazines didn’t do him justice either, his eyes were greener in person, and has a much taller build.

“Me too.” I joked, Lita, and I all chuckled, though Jeff and Matt seemed confused by this. Now it was my turn to feel embarrassed.

I stumbled over my words at first. “I used to be a cheerleader all through high school, you’re not the only high flier around her bucko.” My lips curled into a tiny grin, Lita bumped my shoulder scoffing. Matt hummed in response, he folded his arms across his chest, and a tiny smile on his lips as he listened.

“Captain of the cheer squad, four time national champion.” Lita gloated, she looked at me proudly, hands in her hips, and chest puffed out.

“That right? So I guess that means I’ll be seeing you hit a Swanton Bomb tonight?” Matt suggested half heartedly, a humorous expression etched across his face.

“Four time national champion, we’ll be expecting you to jump off the titantron.” Jeff said quietly, one hand over his chin, his index finger pressed to his bottom lip, he grinned watching the look of horror on my face. I could never be half the daredevil he was, and there’s nothing in the world that would make me want to try.

He held my gaze, and I’ll admit I felt a little shy around him, it’s not like his poster isn’t on my dorm wall or anything. I for damn sure never expected to be talking to him this long. “Hell no, I’ll leave that to the stuntmen, besides this was just a one off.” I shrugged, I tried my best to be humble despite my talent. I loved being a performer, but I didn’t like the attention, such is the life of an artist.

“That right, Leo here actually has a brain unlike the two of you. She’s only here because she owes me a favor, and what’s a spring break without a little fun?” Lita smiled mischievously, Matt rolled his eyes at his girlfriend.

“Um I think you forgot to count yourself sweetheart, you’re pretty and…well that’s about it.” He chuckled, the two of them seemingly forgetting all about us, Lita’s hand shot out to swat Matt across the chest, but he dogged her, then ran off. Without a second thought Lita pursued him.

“Are they always like that?” I pivoted back to Jeff, who was shaking his head watching his brother act childishly.

Slowly his eyes lifted to meet mine, his head tilted to the side, “is the sky blue?” That sweet southern twang hitting a little heavier towards the end, and I swore I could drop to my knees right then. A giggle pressed past my lips, and his next words took me by surprise as he suddenly complimented me.

“Aw man, that laugh is so adorable.” Jeff’s eyes slid over my face taking in all my features, there’s not a magazine article in the world that could have prepared me for Jeff Hardyz charisma. The way he looked directly in my eyes, into my soul, as if he looked away he’d miss something spectacular. My shoulder leaned against the cool white brick wall as I stood next to him, he was slouching a little, but our height difference was still evident.

The corners of my lips tugged into a grin, “are you flirting with me?” I asked, perhaps a bit coy, this sudden confidence went against everything I previously knew myself to be. I typically avoided the male species at all cost, but he had such a warm, welcoming presence. His undivided attention made me feel like I could tell him anything, and that freaked me out a little.

“You won’t be here long, mine as well make it count this time.” He shrugged, he stood with his hands in his pockets, more talent would pass us. He barely looked their way.

“So you do remember me!” I shouted, I pushed myself off the wall unaware of just how close we were, and lightly slapped him on the chest.

His head fell backwards, “of course, even if I landed on my skull that night I wouldn’t have forgotten this face.” He chortled causing his whole face to light up, the butterflies in the pit of my stomach swarmed violently. After I took too long responding he spoke up again. “So why exactly are you dressed like you’re going out to a nightclub?”

“Do I not look good in this dress though?” I asked, letting out an airy laugh, and pulling my fur coat open to playfully show off my outfit. Jeff shamelessly checked me out, getting an eyeful of my cleavage, all the way down my curves to my legs, and my chunky heels.

His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, a hungry stare in his eyes, “I’m sure you look good in anything.”

He was saying all the right things, and looking at me in a way that was making my face heat up, my lips parted to speak, but I was cut off by Lita’s long arm hooking around the back of my neck. “They’re ready for you at guerilla, if you and Jeff are done eye fucking, I’ll walk you down.” My heart jumped at her accusation, the feeling of embarrassment settling onto my face.

“Oh that right, Lita is actually a rodeo clown between segments.” Jeff rolled his eyes, an unimpressed expression on his face, yet again taking the heat off me.

“Shut up Jeff.” she sneered at him, and took me by the hand dragging me away. I could still feel his eyes on me, peeking at him over my shoulder, and just as I thought he’s watching me be taken away. A tiny smile on his lips, he nods his head at me as a ‘see ya later,’ and I hoped it was a later.

Waiting at the curtain were my backup dancers, and Stephanie McMahon. I’ve met her a number of times, she’s always sweet, and comforting. Nothing like her tv persona. “Alright, it’s a packed house, and after that match with Rocky, and Austin they’re quite rowdy.” She explained, I tried to swallow my nerves, as someone who was typically a part of the crowds I knew first hand how nasty people could get.

“You’ve rehearsed a bunch of times, you’ve got this in the bag Leo, and then before you know it, it’ll all be over. Then you can go back to your prissy little dorm room.” Lita teased me, she pinched my cheek, but I cringed away from her.

“First of all, that prissy dorm houses your lousy ass more times than I can count. Secondly, don't ruin my makeup, okay?” I hated being talked to like I was a child, Lita and I were only two years apart. I know she’ll always see me as a baby because of the kind of life she lives constantly on the road.

“Yes! That is exactly the attitude you need tonight, now don’t waste it, save it for the audience.” Stephanie gripped my shoulder, and smiled at me encouragingly.

I turned to my other dancers, “y’all ready?” They seemed more excited than I was, so I tried to mirror their enthusiasm.

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have something special for you.” Lilian Garcia addressed the crowd, they were buzzing, and when I turned to Lita, she gave me a thumbs up.

“A one night only attraction of. Leona French, performing her rendition of Freakum Dress!” The lights dimmed down, and as soon as the music started I was handed a mic right before I stepped out. “To be, or not to be.” I sang sultrily as I sauntered out, at first the crowd didn’t know what to make of seeing me. I could visibly see some men were quite annoyed, instead of focusing on the crowd I looked right into the camera in front of me. When we got closer to the ring I shed my fur coat, and suddenly the noise began to pick up. I couldn’t help the grin that slid onto my face, I twirled my hips, and popped my ass to the bass of the music. I’ve practiced the routine so many times I could do it in my sleep. “Oh put your freakum dress on, every woman got one.” My body moved fluidly through the steps, I let myself get lost in the music, and soon I felt like I was actually having fun.

Improvising a little, I climbed out of the ring, and danced over to the barricade where a young man around my age was gawking. I made my way back to the steel steps putting one foot up, and pooped my booty back. Considering they weren’t throwing food at me, I took that as a compliment, but by the end of the performance everyone was on their feet cheering, and wolf whistling. We bowed, blew a few kisses, but then made our way to the back.

Lita wasn’t there when I came back through the curtain, but I think she told me she might have had some segments tonight. I would probably run into her later, “that crowd was jumpin!” Maddison, one of the dancers laughed, she chugged some water.

“It sure was, you girls were great! Leona your energy was incomparable, and just so natural. Good job tonight.” Stephanie placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, her kind words making me proud of myself.

“Thanks boss lady, we’re gonna go shower and change.” I thanked her, shaking her hand, and we all made our way through the arena. I was so busy blabbing to the girls that I didn’t even notice Undertaker when I ran into him. My eyes widened, I’ve only ever seen him from a distance, which he was big then, but up close he’s huge. The girls and I collectively quieted down upon seeing him, “I’m so sorry…Mr. Taker.” I said like a doofus, his eyes shined humorously, but that’s all he offered us.

“Just Taker is fine, you’re Lita's cousin aren’t you? That was a hell of a performance y’all had.” And this is where I realized I might have a thing for gothic southern men. Or maybe I was just a sucker for the accent. I recall a number of stories about Taker being the best person to ask advice, literally everyone would ask him his opinion.

“Wow, thanks, I’m a huge fan by the way, um any pointers?” Why not ask the most successful man in the entertainment business his thoughts on my performance. The girls looked at me like I had three heads, it’s what I expected none of them watched wrestling.

“We’re gonna go shower, we’ll catch up later.” Lisa patted me on the shoulder, I nodded, and let them excuse themselves. If anyone was ‘prissy’ as Lita put it, it’s definitely them. Never struggled a day in their lives, spoon fed country club for their entire lives. Only sports they knew were golf, and all American football. That was an excitable level of violence for them, however, I usually craved something a little more aggressive.

He pondered for a moment, “well…it looked like you were having fun, and that’s when you really started to connect with the crowd. That’s important, it’s not just you, and them. You’re in on it together.” He explained, his voice deep, but his tone ominous. A backstage official informed him that he was needed, Taker nodded his head, and turned back to me. “A lot of people are gonna try and groom you, make you out to be what they want. Especially because you’re a girl, and seemingly have a lot of talent that could make people a lot of money. Nothing is more important in show business than to do things by your own volition, and stand on it.” That may have been the wisest bit of information I’ve ever received, he held his hand out for me to shake. Without hesitation I took it, grateful for this moment, and to think I was gonna pass up the offer. He shook my hand surprisingly gently, then went on about his business. I watched him for as long as my eyes could see. I felt light, like I was no longer a part of this physical plane. I looked down at my hand in disbelief of what just happened, my whole body still buzzing.

I just performed for thousands of people, and then The Undertaker just dropped a wealth of knowledge on me. I’m just a girl, I’m just some kid, how did I get so lucky? “Are you gonna keep standing in the middle of the hall like an idiot?” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of an arrogant voice, slowly I turned to be met with the last person I wanted to run into tonight. Randy Orton, Bautista by his side, the only one of the two who had some etiquette.

Bautista lips form a tiny smile, he had a familiarity to him, as if we’ve been knowing each other for a while. “Hey, I remember you, you’re Lita’s big brain cousin, what college was it you went to?” I could feel my face heat up, it was sweet of him to remember something so small.

“I don’t know about big brains, but I’m attending Tisch School of Arts in New York.” I said shyly, I tried not to make my accomplishments a big deal; I guess it couldn’t be helped when Lita is blabbing about me to everyone she sees.

“So an art school.” Randy didn’t sound too impressed, far be it for him to care about anything other than himself. I might have actually found him attractive if he wasn’t such a dickhead.

“Hang on there Randy, Tisch is no run of the mill dance school, their acceptance rate is pretty low from what I understand. I had some family that tried to get in a few years ago, they had to audition 3 times.” Bautista explained coming to my defense, while simultaneously shutting down his partner's rudeness. He did it in such a calm manner, I bet he’s great with kids.

Randy eyed me, when he lingered too long on my chest I rolled my eyes, and side stepped him. He’s exactly like the pricks that frequented the country clubs back home, the only way to deal with them was to ignore them. “Anywho, it was nice meeting you, I’m a big fan, Bautista.” He held his hand to his heart, touched by me saying this.

“You’re a wrestling fan?” Randy questioned, he looked gobsmacked by this revelation, I grimaced turning to him.

“Yeah…” I said lifting my eyebrow daring him to challenge me, but he scoffed. Folding his arms over his chest, a smug expression on his face, I regret even running into him.

“I mean, of course you are, who wouldn’t wanna watch me on a weekly basis.” The haughtiness in his tone made me want to throw up, I couldn’t even disagree which was the worst part. He’s so good at what he does it upsets me, if only all that talent came with a muzzle.

“You literally have zero shame don’t you?” Jeff came up from behind me, his face paint dripping off him, no doubt from a match may have just had. An unimpressed look on his face, his arm slipped around the back of me, and held onto me almost protectively. I could feel my face heat up from his touch, I wasn’t going to deny him.

“Meanwhile you’re dressed like some freak.” Randy spat venomously, I was taken aback by his sudden mood change, Jeff’s expression darkened, but didn’t have a verbal response. He took a step forward, Randy mirroring his movements. There’s no love loss between the legacy kid, and mister daredevil. Jeff seemed to get the best of Randy in matches most of the time by out sitting him, and stealing the wins. Which is really more so Randy’s fault by letting his emotions get the best of him.

Bautista pressed his hand to Randy’s chest. A warning glare in his eyes. “Cool it man, you can’t afford to get into another fight this week.” He mumbled, but Randy wasn’t hearing it. The grip Jeff had on tightening, his nails digging into me as if to hold himself back.

“Trying to show off around your little poptart, wanna be, girlfriend aren’t you? Please do Jeff, I beg you.” Randy pressed his palms together, goading Jeff into a fight, I looked to Jeff who was clearly thinking about it. He’d do it even if only to make a point, but before I could get a chance to interject he reared back his fist. Popping Randy right in the nose. My mouth dropped, and my eyes widened.

“Fuck we gotta go.” I grasped him by the wrist, and tugged him in the opposite direction. We ran until we couldn't hear Randy shouting, and bitching anymore. We rounded the corner, finally coming to a stop. We caught our breath, “you’re gonna be in so much shit.” I sighed once my breathing calmed, I slapped him across the chest. He barely flinched.

“What, you just wanted me to let him talk about you like that?” He seemed offended by my disappointment, his hand ran through his blue-violet colored hair.

“Randy is an idiot, being called a poptart isn't the worst thing, I mean he said you were a freak.” My lips pressed together, I could feel myself getting upset all over again, there was never a reason to be so fucking mean.

Jeff shrugged his shoulders, “yea so? If I had a dime for everytime someone judged the way I dressed, how I talk, or the clothes I wore, well I’d be a fat rich man. But you don't talk about girls that way man, what did you do to deserve that attitude anyway?” Yet again we were standing close to each other, I chewed my bottom lip trying not to say anything stupid, my eyes lowered to the floor. I couldn't understand why he would get himself into drama over something so stupid.

“Did ya see the look on Randy’s face though, I think I broke his nose.” He grinned, I couldn't help but laugh when I replayed the scene in my head, even Bautista was shocked.

I shook my head, “by the time he gets done bitching at Stephanie about it, you’re gonna get into so much trouble.” I reached for the bandanna hanging out of his pocket, and began to clean off the face paint. The sweat dripping down his forehead made it easier to swipe away, with my other hand I held him by the chin, he took a step back putting his back to the wall causing me to step forward. I tried to avoid his eyes, acutely aware he was staring me right in mine.

“It’ll be worth it.” He hummed, his hand reached out to play with my hair, gently sweeping it over my shoulder. His fingers caressing my skin on the way down, then finally rested on my hips. Once I was satisfied with the majority of the paint being gone, I sighed, and wrapped my arms around his neck.

My eyes dropped to his lips, his tongue flicked out swiping his bottom lip, ‘this is a bad idea right?’ I thought to myself, ‘oh well, what’s spring break without a little fun?’ As if reading my mind, Jeff leaned in meeting me halfway in a deeply passionate kiss. His hands slid up my back holding me closer to his body, I couldn't help but let out a moan as his hands slid down to my ass, and gripped me. I don't know how long we stood there locking lips, but by the time either of us pulled away I was out of breath. My lips were swollen, my heart was hammering against my rib cage, and my head felt a bit light headed. “So what now?” I pressed my forehead to his, I knew it was getting late, and I was gonna be no good tomorrow if I was too exhausted.

“Got any time left to get something to eat? I know a diner that’s open late around here.” He offered. A hopeful look in his eyes. I peaked at him from underneath my lashes, my fingers playing with his choker necklace. Voices could be heard in the distance, it sounded like a few of the guys, but neither of us worried about it.

“Sure, I got some time to spare, as a super fan I'd be honored to have dinner with Jeff Hardy.” I teased, he wrapped an arm lazily around my shoulder, some female talent we passed gave me a nasty look. Trish Stratus specifically did not like what she was seeing, our eyes watched each other as we passed by. I knew that her and Jeff were “involved,” but the extent of that? I was unsure about, however if this was her man she would have said something right?

Jeff, oblivious to this as he was talking, he snorted, “you’re a fan huh? Does this make you my groupie?” He asked jokingly, we were finally approaching my dressing room, Lita was further down the hall talking to Edge, and Christian. They were all laughing obnoxiously about something, but I turned my attention back to Jeff.

“Oh definitely, I’m gonna write about it in my diary later.” I chortled, one hand on the doorknob, and the pinky of my other hand linked with his pinky. Neither of us wanted to let go, but we both needed a fresh change of clothes.

“Well, I’m flattered…” He trailed off for a second, then said, “I wish I could just wait for you here, but I need a fresh outfit so I’ll meet you back here?”

“You’ll definitely be done before me, so you might end up waiting anyway.” I smiled sheepishly, my face heating up in embarrassment, I felt bad for making him wait after the long night he’s had, so I decided just then that I’d cut down time on my makeup at the very least.

He made no fuss about it. “That’s fine, see ya in a little bit.” He let go of my pinky, then made his way back the opposite direction, and turned down a hall disappearing. It wasn't till I was behind the privacy of my dressing room door did I let out a long, heavy sigh, the other girls were nowhere to be found, so I revealed in the alone time.

I didn't fight the dopey smile that grew across my face, “I kissed Jeff Hardy?” After I picked myself up off the floor, I locked the door behind me, and stripped down before getting into a hot shower. Getting dressed tonight has been the easiest task of my life since I was smart enough to pack only one other outfit. Had I been back at home I would have ended up overwhelming myself trying to decide what to wear. I pulled on my coat, then grabbed my duffel bag, and purse, throwing it over my shoulder. When I opened the door, Jeff was waiting outside like he said he would, his eyes taking me in, from my heels making sure to slow up at my legs, and thighs. Then finally landing on my face.

“Hey…” He greeted me, his eyes sliding over my body, and slowing up at my chest before he got to my face. When our eyes met our smiles mirrored the others, he took me by the hand and walked us out of the arena to the parking lot. The night was mostly over, so there weren't many people left. My phone buzzed in my purse, I fished it out to see who texted me. I clicked on my messages to see I had been left a few, but Lita stood out to me.

Lita: I nu u were w Jeff the whole time. ;)

Lita: dont do anything I wdnt do

I rolled my eyes, I don't know if I should be thanking her, or annoyed that she set me up, I scoffed, “freakin Lita.”

“Everything okay?” Jeff asked, opening the passenger side door for me, the fall time air blowing my hair around, I peered up at him nodding my head. He watched me with a weary look in his eyes, I enveloped his face in my hands, and pressed my lips to his. He relaxed into me, “I think I’m gonna get in the car now.” He grinned like an idiot, and walked around the other side of the car. The drive wasn't long, but Jeff requested that I talked about myself, so I did. Not once did he interject, and by the time we made it to the restaurant, I felt like I had told him my whole life story.

“I watched that little show of your’s by the way, you’ve got a lot more talent than you let on.” I was taken aback by this sudden compliment. We sipped on our pop while we waited for our food, and as I sat across from him, he seemed like the most normal guy in the world. “I could have watched that on a loop.” He said softly, his longing gaze making me shift in my seat.

My eyes dropped down to his hands, I just now realized some of his dark painted nails had designs on them, “do you paint your own nails too?” I asked curiously, it’s something I’ve always wondered, but never had the chance to ask till now.

“Most of the time, other time’s it’s Lita when we have some time off.” He explained, the image of them sitting together like two siblings painting each other's nails made me smile a little. Yeah that seemed about right.

“Don't tell me they didn't include that information in Tiger Beat.” He deadpanned, obviously no love loss for the magazine company, I cringed at the name, I hated them too.

I shrugged, “I wouldn't know, I’m more of a Teen Vogue girl.” I joked, that’s how the rest of our night went, we talked about anything that came to mind: wrestling, food, fashion trends, travel. Anything to keep the conversation going, Eventually it turned 1 am, I needed to get some sort of sleep before catching up with Lita tomorrow. She wanted to drag me around the mall before they headed to the next town. We sat in front of the hotel, I turned to him, I knew I could have invited him up. The look in his eyes told me all I had to do was offer, but he wasn't going to force it. Knowing I had a whole week to be promiscuous, I decided to prioritize sleep this time, slowly I leaned in, and he met me halfway. A kiss that started off sweet turned into something heated, and needy. We moaned into each other simultaneously, I pulled away first, Jeff was frozen in place. His eyes still closed. “I’m getting out of the car now doofus.” I giggled, then opened the car door.

He suddenly came back to life, “oh, let me get your bag.” He reached in the back grabbing my duffle bag, and brought it around to my side of the car. I stood patiently waiting for him, my lips still tingling where he kissed me, I took the bag from him, and kissed him on the cheek.

“See ya later.”I walked backwards in the direction of the hotel, we held onto each other's hands till we couldn't anymore. That night after I got ready for bed, as soon as my head hit the pillows I passed out. That night I dreamed about having a tag match with Lita and Matt, versus Jeff and I, and it was a banger. That might be long into the future, but as far as tonight I had the best time of my life.

#jeff hardy #jeff hardy fanfiction #wwe one shot #black!oc #—tokio #divas era

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shedidntevenswear · 8 months

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Mean Girls (2024): tries to gen z-ify the 2004 movie by updating references to social media and removing some bigoted language

also Mean Girls (2024): somehow still uses the word "grotsky" like anyone below the age of 40 has ever used that word casually

#mean girls #i still love renee rapp though she did great

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wen-kexing-apologist · 9 months

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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

Hello! After a holiday hiatus, I am returning to @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus. We will be ringing in the new year with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of the syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. That fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995)

Today I will be writing about

Bent (1997) dir. Sean Mathias

[Run Time- 1:45, Available: tubi, for rent, Lang: Eng]

Content Warning: Holocaust, torture, murder, suicide, references to necrophilia

Summary: Max is gay and as such is sent to Dachau concentration camp under the Nazi regime. He tries to deny he is gay, and gets a yellow label (the one for Jews) instead of pink (the one for gays). In camp, he falls in love with fellow prisoner Horst, who wears his pink label with pride.

Cast: Lothaire Bluteau as Horst Clive Owen as Max

Well. This was a fascinating watch. For Unit 4 the only film I’ve seen prior is Brokeback Mountain and I feel like Bent had a similar structure in that the most emotionally difficult parts are primarily (not fully, rest in peace Randy and unnamed girl) towards the end. I definitely went in to this movie expecting it to be jam packed with pain and suffering in a way that would constantly assault my emotional space, but that wasn’t what it was. And it felt all the more realistic for it, I think.

We open at Greta’s club, we got an outright bacchanal, such a beautiful, vibrant, explicitly queer space…in Nazi Germany. And it eases you in to that concept because the first party we see is completely absent of any soldiers, then we get soldiers coming in to join the fun, and then we get Nazi’s coming in looking for one particular person, and Max’s boyfriend Randy watches the Nazi’s slit Wolf’s throat. This was an interesting choice in name for me, because Hitler really wanted to be called Wolf, and made people refer to him as such. Anyway, Wolf dies, Max and Randy run to Greta’s home which is…literally a home made out of wardrobes (living in the closet), and Greta dresses them all up in suits and burns all the evidence of her queerness. And you’d think they’d be laying low, which in some ways they are, yet they are at fully discussing what happened, aligning themselves with queerness, on a public bus, in Nazi occupied Berlin, after literally just escaping Nazi’s as if it’s a regular day, and they haven’t just watched someone get killed for being queer.

And nonchalantly, Greta strips away all of her identity, she’s got things figured out, she becomes Greg (or something) and starts talking about the wife and kids he has at home, and how he’s fucked every sex worker on the street, and that’s it (“So queer is out. Queer is dead. Ratatattat”). They don’t seem phased, they don’t seem scared, Greta processes the grief they know is coming for them while they sing farewell songs in their own club, and that’s it. They give Max and Randy enough money to flee Berlin, and we never hear about them again. And when I talk about the realism in this, I mean that Randy, having just watched a man be murdered, doesn’t want to leave Berlin, because he put money down on a dance class and he doesn’t want to miss those classes. And it strikes me that Max constantly seems annoyed with, fed up with Randy, and yet cannot leave him, just as Randy cannot leave Max. Randy and Max both had an opportunity to leave each other, and get away to safety, and they stayed together, and that was their downfall.

But before their capture, we see them just like…waiting around, they are getting on each other’s nerves, they are bickering about cheese. Again, it feels so…true to life? I don��t think we really think enough about the downtime when you are waiting to die, when you are hiding, when you are trying to survive. They have time to work, to gaze at the sky, to talk over a fire, to kiss, to sing, to accuse their partner of trying to poison their cheese. They have time to trust, to make mistakes, and to die.

Max was stupid, Randy was stupid, everyone made one mistake and now Max is killing Randy on a train to Dachau in a desperate attempt to prove to the Nazi’s that he didn’t know Randy, that he isn’t queer, just in the hopes that he will survive the trip to the camps. And this film does not shy away from the monstrosities/atrocities. They make you see Randy’s beaten body, knowing that the Nazi’s tortured him because he wore glasses and they thought he was an intellectual. When he was a dancer, which to be fair is just as much of a threat to the Nazi regime as anything else. We have to just sit there, and watch Max tell himself over and over and over and over again “this isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This is happening.” while Randy sobs in agony in the background.

Which felt real to me too, because what else are you going to do? Horst has clocked Max, and has told Max that this train ride is made to break people, and personally I think Max was broken before Horst was even able to offer advice, but the only way he is even remotely capable of handling anything that happened on that train is to just willfully refuse to admit that it was real. It cannot be real. With the genocide in Gaza, I have really been thinking a lot about how suddenly life can change, I think about what it would be like if I were there, in that situation, or if it happened here and how I would react to it. And I do not know how long it would take for me to feel like any of that was real.

This movie was fascinating because so much and so little happens. We have the glitz and glamor, we have the frenzied escape, and then they sit in the woods, we have the train ride where Randy is tortured by Nazi’s and killed by Max’s hand, and Max is forced to rape the corpse of a 13 year old girl the Nazi’s shot, in order to prove that he isn’t queer, and then for the next hour he’s moving rocks back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, until we reach the last 5-10 minutes of the movie.

It was so interesting for me to watch this movie, seeing Max’s cyclical nature from beginning to end. At the beginning of Bent, Max is not hiding his queerness in any way. He’s at the club every night, he’s shoving his tongue down multiple people’s throats, he’s having public sex. He’s super. fucking. gay. He’s gone to all the clubs, he’s known in the community, his family knows he’s queer. It was an identity he held, until the second Horst told him being queer was the lowest of the low in the camps. For the majority of the time he was in Dachau he vehemently refused to wear the pink triangle, he convinced the SS soldiers to mark him with the Star of David and not the pink triangle by doing some truly heinous actions.

Max used his wealth and his willingness to do terrible things to get into a position he felt was safe. He moved rocks back and forth all day long and bribed the guards to let Horst move rocks with him. They were able to be together, to share space together, to imagine for three minutes every few hours that they were able to be together. To fuck each other, to love each other, to hold each other, but there is not allowed to be gentleness between them.

I loved the moments in this movie where Max and Horst were having sex with each other on those breaks. I loved that they were able to find a moment of pleasure. I loved that Horst was allowed to cry, to beg for gentleness, I loved what it said about Max that he said he liked to be hurt in sex, that it was exciting. I am absolutely not one to judge that, let me preface, but it felt to me Max is trying to believe about himself but isn’t true. If he likes being hurt, maybe he can cope better with the pain he is experiencing.

And again, in case people have forgotten the overall purpose of the syllabus, Ben structured these units to slowly progress people in to BL. So I want to relate a moment of this to BL a little bit because some of it made me start thinking of The Eclipse, mostly around the conversation Horst and Max have about the SS soldier who is “the worst in the camp” and whether or not he’s queer. Which leads to one of the most important lines in the film, for me anyway:

Max: “Of course he could be queer. But you don’t want to think about that. You don’t want them to be” Horst: “There are queer Nazi, and queer saints, and- and queer geniuses, and queer nobodies.”

This film is about what people do to survive, the cycles they maintain, the parts of them they break, in order to live to the end. And this moment made me think of The Eclipse in terms of the commentary that show also made about the harm oppressed groups can perpetuate against their own communities for the sake of survival, self hatred, etc. Chadok was authoritarian and militant and brainwashed Akk in to literally committing crimes to maintain order (shout out to the car Akk let roll in to a crowd of protestors) and was also a gay man trying desperately to hold on to his own safety after Dika died. We do not get a backstory on the SS soldier, nor would I have particularly cared for one, but we do know that every time certain soldiers enact physical violence against queer people, we see them wipe their eye as if brushing away a tear. We do know that that SS soldier made Max go down on him in order to get medicine. And at the end of the day it doesn’t fully matter if we get confirmation about that particular soldier, because the fact remains that there were queer Nazi’s and we have to reckon with that.

Max is maybe able to pass as straight, not to other queers, but probably to most of the Nazi’s and he says as much in his conversation with Horst about how the SS soldier would have killed him if he knew a queer had gone down on him. And ultimately I think it’s true, because that SS soldier realizes that Max went down on him for medicine, not for himself but for Horst, and that was all he needed to realize that there was more to the relationship between Max and Horst and to punish Max for it. It came as no surprise to me that the film would end with both of them dead, they spoke too often of survival, I loved so much that Horst, knowing he would die either way, decided to rebel for once and left a mark on that SS soldier.

Favorite Moment

So I think my actual favorite moment is the second time that Horst and Max verbally fuck eachother and we get the conversation about Horst wanting to be handled gently, but honestly I have to give a shoutout to the moment that Randy and Max are arguing in the forest because it feels like an organic conversation between a couple that has been stuck together in too small a space (read: a metal barrel for a roof over their head) and are under a lot of stress. And they’re just sitting there arguing about the correct term for the type of ecosystem they are in (“Forest”, “Jungle”, “Forest”) and Randy says he’s worried that Max poisoned the cheese (that Randy bought and selected himself) and the incredulity by which Max responds: “It’s your cheese..choke on it. I cannot tell you how much I want you to choke on it. Christ!”

I really loved all these types of little moments, the repetition, the tiffs, I felt like it really helped ground the film.

Favorite Quote

“If I can stand at attention they’ll let me hold you. I never held you before. I won’t let you drop. You know what? Horst? You know what? I think- I think I love you. Shh. Don’t tell anyone. Don’t worry about the rocks. I won’t drop you, I promise. I think- I think I love- Can’t remember his name. A dancer. I think I loved him too. Don’t be jealous. You’re safe. I won’t drop you. I love you. What’s wrong with that?”

Now, I will say, as much as my stomach twisted in horror at certain moments in the film, I was holding it together pretty well, right up until the very end. Max is commanded by the SS soldier to get rid of Horst’s body and as Max is lifting Horst in to his arms, the horns go off for their three minute rest where they are supposed to stand at attention. And Max…screams, he just screams “No” because he doesn’t want to let Horst go. He does not want Horst to drop to the ground. And the Nazi’s have already walked away, and so Max holds Horst as best as he can. This unmoving dead weight heavy and slipping in his arms. And for the first time ever he is able to hold this man that he loves. And then he drags Horst’s body to the grave, takes Horst’s shirt with the pink triangle, puts it on, and kills himself. It’s tragic, and horrible, and painful to watch but it was a moment of gentleness out of a man who had convinced himself he was a terrible person. And there is something to Max’s final moments being holding the man he loved who he’d promised would be safe in his arms, keeping that promise, and reclaiming his identity the way Horst would have wanted him to. He died a queer and he died on his own terms, and it fucking sucks that we don’t always survive, but I think Bent really sets itself up for the question of what it means and what it’s worth to be yourself. Because for us, as with many other people, to be ourselves can mean danger, can mean violence, can mean death and knowing that there are people who hide to survive still suffering under the constraints of closet life and there are people who step out in the open knowing what they might face.

Score

9/10

This may sound a little bit sadistic, but I think I wanted a touch more queer pain, and I don’t think this is a film that is easy to recommend to people because of how much of the movie is dedicated to repetition. This was a very strong film, the acting was great, and the sets were intriguing, and the little eyebrow touch did in fact come back to haunt me.

Next on the docket...Strange Fruit

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #queer film #bent #bent (1997)#clive owen

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anemoiawithatouchofobsession · 3 months

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Giving 1st gen groups and artists their own signature emojis

So we know that if you are on Twitter and have a little 7 in your username you are a BTS fan, if you have a diamond you are a Carat (SVT fan), if you have a black and pink heart then you're a fan of Blackpink etc.

Now, I have an urge to do this for 1st gen groups and artists because why not?

So :

S.E.S. : 🔮 (purple magic ball)

Reason : fandom colour being pearl purple + their mystical fairy concept suits the magic ball. Also they'd have a "3" in their usernames because I can't see any Friend being anything but OT3, another alternative one is 🌊(wave) 👰(bride) 🐿 (chipmunk) - the wave is for Bada - Sea -, the bride for Eugene because she is everyone's dream bride lol and chipmunk is Shoo because she just looks like one.

Fin.K.L. : 🎈 (red balloon)

Reason : Fandom colour is red and balloons were the lightsticks of the 90s era! Also would come in handy during the great balloon war of 2004. Pre debut fans would use 🏹 (Bow and arrow) because they thought that a girl group from Sechskies' company named "Fin Killing Liberty" would have a strong, warrior concept... Another alternative is ⚪⚫🔴🔵 (white ball, Black ball, red ball, blue ball) which stands for the members individual colours, White : Yuri, Black : Joohyun, Red : Hyori, Blue : Jin.

Baby V.O.X. : 😇 or 👼 (girl angel)

Reason : Fandom name is Baby Angels and their name is Baby VOX Lol.

Diva : 💋 (red lipstick kiss)

Reason : because of their "cool and hot noona" image, their emoji needs to reflect that.

H.O.T. : 🤘👌🏼👇 (finger pose cool, finger pose "ok", finger pose showing down)

Reason : the hands make the letters H O T. Cool, right?

But wait! There's drama. A popular acc with more than 700k followers starts that Baby V.O.X. are plagiarizing H.O.T. because H.O.T.'s fandom name is White Angels, and now Baby V.O.X. is using 😇 (Angel)

There would be a lot of Twitter drama, and because Baby V.O.X. have the junior fandom, their fans would start using 💗 (pink heart) instead as a reference to their balloon colour.

(It was actually my original idea for them to take an angel, but I decided that the finger poses are waaaay cooler for a boy group than an angel. You're a boy group that does hip hop! At least be cool!)

Sechskies : 💛 (yellow heart) or 💛💎 (yellow heart + crystal). I can't decide. PLUS a little 6.

Reason : Fandom/balloon colour yellow. The crystal also refers to the fandom name Yellowkies, it's for the "-kies" that DSP thought meant "crystals" in German - but no one told them it means "pebbles". Ouch.

But they're crystals in Yellowkies' hearts!!1!!

Shinhwa : 🍊 (Orange the fruit)

Reason : their fandom colour is orange. Plus Shinhwa Changjos are the Ahgases of 90s Kpop so expect them to have funny stuff lmaoo

g.o.d.: 🟦 (blue square)

Reason : Fandom colour sky blue

NRG : ⚡(lightning bolt)

Reason : N R G = En-er-gy. Another option could be 🤓👋. Their fandom name is Cheonjae Ilwoo and Cheonjae means "genius". The hand shake is from their "I Can Do It" dance actually I stole it from u/Margo160's flair lmaoo sorry

1TYM : ☝️👇❓Ⓜ️ (finger showing index finger, finger showing down, question mark, blue M)

Aaand another rookie group copying H.O.T.! (Lol I'm just setting them up for drama lol). How dare the fans copy the same finger emojis? The fans then just change it to ☝️... and since then, in this AU, the YG - SM rivalry starts.

Soloists :

Kim Hyunjung : 🔃 (arrow turning around)

Reason : reference to "Bruise" and the point dance of turning your arms around singing "둘려놔~" ("throw/put me back~"), which pretty much went viral before going viral was a thing. Alternatively used are 👠 (high heels) because she was known for her pretty long legs or 💃(dancing girl) because she pretty much IS the emoji.

Uhm Junghwa : 👑 (crown)

Reason : because she's the undisputed solo queen nope nope no arguments~

But I could actually see 🎉 because of "Festival" or 🥀 (Rose) for "Rose of Betrayal".

Lee Junghyun : 🏮(festival paper balloon with Chinese character on it) or 🀄 (card with Chinese character on it).

Reason : she would have a lot of Chinese fans and she would be known for her traditional concept at debut.

Yangpa : I can't find the emoji on my Samsung keyboard, but an onion. Why? Because that's her name, onion. Literally.

BoA : 📡 (satellite bowl)

Reason : because she's an alien. Why? Because this girl is not even out of middle school yet and already such a pro at dancing. She ain't real~ /j 🤣

@babyvoxi can we make this a thing?? hahaha

(source : MY OWN POST ON KPOP REDDIT

)

#1st gen kpop #ses #s.e.s.#baby vox #baby v.o.x.#y2k kpop #finkl #fin.k.l.#boa #uhm junghwa #stan twitter emojis

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ssahopelessly · 1 year

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gonna need this in a fic now ma'am (respectfully)

https://www.tumblr.com/ssahopelessly/720685489891540993/hey-everyone-not-that-it-matters-but-i-gotta

Link referenced here! And without further ado…

Pushed Back

Synopsis: Reader has a fear of Spencer’s forehead and it finally comes out.

Warnings: the 100-30 rule, couple cuddles, fear for loss of future, anxiety, angst, guilt, talks of physical appearance, reference to S5, reference to Mean Girls (2004), reference to S12 prison arc, talks of aging, crying / let me know any I missed!

Word Count: 2.1k

Masterlist

It was as close to a normal night as we could come by lately. While Spencer had found the new contingency to his work at the bureau restraining at times, I was just happy to know that for at least 30 nights, he would be home, safe and sound with me. And tonight was thankfully one of those nights.

It was still a work night for him though, as the local college had agreed to let him host a series of speaking engagements for the month. A crash course on Criminal Psychology and the Implications of Danger in a Digital World. A series he had given before but one he was still thrilled to speak on. Somehow though, he had found himself absolutely tired by the time he stepped into our home, immediately crawling onto the couch before even taking off his suit jacket for the evening. For as uncomfortable as I thought he would be, the pure bliss and state of relaxation smoothed over his face calmed any of my anxieties and as he laid between my legs, his back to my chest, I couldn’t help but run my fingers through his hair, combing it away from his face so maybe he could fall into sleep without a whisp tickling his skin. “I know what you’re doing.” He soon mumbled out, settling further into my body.

“What is that?” My hands didn’t stop, but his eyes soon opened to look up in an effort to try and find me.

“You’re trying to get me to fall asleep.” A smile spread over my lips at my Tired Genius Boyfriend and the way he seemed to keep up with my antics.

“Is it working?”

“Almost.” I couldn’t help but hear the hum he let out, one of his hands blindly reaching for one of my mine. With the only hand I had left, I let a finger start curling a small strand around itself, thinking how soft his hair felt then. It was one of the moments I wanted to keep forever. To stay there on that couch with him, safe and sound between my legs in a state of rest. One of the moments I would call upon the next 100 nights where he would be gone and cell phone unresponsive at night due to a case. But just as the hair slipped between my fingers, I could almost feel our future slip away. I tried to hide away the anxious train of thoughts that would start, and so far he seemed none the wiser. I let my finger twirl that strand as I tried to slow the thoughts, but I had been locked out from the conductor's box.

I tried not to think of how he hated the 100-30 policy but it was my saving grace. How every time his phone would ring, it felt one more ring closer to the end of it all. How I had once been scared of our future but now knew it was the one thing I was ready to fight for after so many had tried already to take it from us. How I wanted to see us grow old together, surrounded by the lives we built for the other. How at one point, I was scared the oldest I would see him age to was 35 and he would be forever stuck as he was in those terrible mugshots. One of the mugshots having been a thing made of my absolute fears and nightmares. The most epitomal nightmare fuel. “What are you thinking?”

“Hm?” I realised then, as his voice had tore through my anxieties and stopped that train, ripping daylight into that endless forest, that my hands had ceased fiddling, and if he was falling asleep, it was no more due to the sudden stop of my motions.

“That hand stopped while this hand,” he squeezed my one hand he hadn’t let go of, “has been straining my fingers for the last 37 seconds.” His amber eyes tried to look up at me then, albeit still upside down, but still at me. And while normally I would find comfort in them, I was scared to look in them. Scared he might see a brewing guilt in my iris. Somehow, he twisted his body from me and up so that he could sit next to me, all before moving my legs to drape over his lap. It was his turn now to move calming strokes over my skin, or in this case, a ghost of a feather touch to one of my ankles. It would’ve been as cold as his skin if not for the way the simplest touch always sent a current of electricity through the cells that dwelled at the sight. “What is it?” He cut through the dark again, his voice a calming clarity to the storm. But as they tried to rage on, I could only remember one thing. That stupid mugshot.

And then I realised how vain it must’ve sounded. How after all this time he might reconsider everything if I let this one sentence out. I was overthinking again. “You won’t hate me for saying this right?”

“What? You thought about dying my gray hairs again?” I tried not to laugh but gosh dang it if I hadn’t already let slip my silly concerns for the superficial points of our lives. “Tell me.”

“Years ago…” the eyes that only offered me comfort in the most chaotic of moments still held their own. His bottom lip had slipped slightly under his top as he waited for my words. Reaching for the hand not on my ankle, I began playing with our fingers again. “I used to have the biggest fear of your forehead.” The absolute smile that plastered itself to his lips took over his expression, his eyes crinkling in the corner as he somehow found something to be amused by in my statement.

“My forehead?” He asked through a breath, trying to suppress his laughter but it was already infectious, a chuckle slipping from my lips before the anxieties returned. “What’s wrong with my forehead?” He asked incredulously.

“Forget it.” Spencer tried to pull me closer then and try as I might, I was not as strong as him. He had successfully pulled me into his chest so I was not only forced to look up at him amidst my confession, but we were also now in a 180 of the position this had all started with. The back of his middle finger ran up my cheek bone in a soothing motion as his eyes continued to bore into me.

“Tell me? Please?” The hand that didn't let go of mine had pulled it to his lips so he could kiss it whilst whispering, “What’s wrong with my forehead.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your forehead!” I tried to explain without digging into my anxieties.

“Are you just scared of the brain it’s protecting?”

“You can’t be serious-“ I had started to roll my eyes, attempting to push him off of me. I still wasn’t nearly as strong.

“Then tell me!” He squeezed my hand then, trying to reassure me that anything I could say was worth his concern too.

“I was scared of a lot of things.” I had started, trying to ease into it. Moving my eyes away from his, I found a spot on the ceiling to focus on while our fingers fiddled with the other again. “I have this thing with receding hairlines, that dates back to middle school really.”

“Are you saying I have a receding hairline?”

“Hush.” He placed a gentle kiss to my forehead, and I tried once more to say what I wanted. But my eyes got caught on a photo of us from years ago. It was months after I had started at the bureau, and just after he got off the crutches and cane, he had somehow let me convince him to get a haircut. His hair was so short back then. But his style at the time perfectly covered the subject at hand. “You know in Mean Girls, the movie?”

“Sure?” It was a classic and I had tried many times to get him to watch it, but he always had more fun stopping the movie to either point out inaccuracies or discuss how certain elements of torment and bullying in a school environment could actually have devastating effects on the adolescent psyche.

“Well, Regina George at one point is taunting Cady, telling her to tell her boyfriend and Cady’s crush that his hair looks sexy pushed back.” I watched as his jaw opened, waiting for his response to spill out as his mind tried to remember the events.

“Okay?” Was all he seemed able to say.

“Well… for a time… your hair was not sexy pushed back.”

“Wait- for a time?” Body rolling myself over, I took to sitting criss crossed between his legs now, both of us leveled with the other. That way, no look we could offer could be misconstrued or not seen. That way, he could see me as I got to the next part. “What do you mean?”

“Years ago, sometime around prison, I really hated your forehead. Not for a receding hairline, not even for your beautiful brain.” Our hands were still except for his thumb rubbing comforting circles into the surface. “I hated your forehead for the wrinkles that had started to form. For the reminder that our youth was behind us and we were older and-“ the words were spilling out and it was only with the sudden tears that had started to form and pressure to my airway that I had stopped.

“And?” He tried to prompt me with a sense of hope in his eyes. Concern was also there, but I would never stop seeing the hope.

“And for the fear it showed me. Fear that we wouldn’t get to grow older. That-“ The moment a tear broke loose, Spencer didn’t let it travel far, the pad of his thumb immediately wiping it away. “That our lives could’ve ended in that courtroom. That you would grow old behind those prison bars and I wouldn’t be there to marvel or adore those silly little lines that started forming on your forehead. That somehow, the universe that never seemed to let you rest had succeeded in taking you from me.” My words caught in my throat again as sobs had started to rack my body. Spencer was quick to pull me into his chest, this time giving my tears a place to land against the heathered material. A soothing hand moved up and down my back and the sense of it all reminded me once how my parents would try to calm me. They had lost their magic touch before I had grown to know his, but this was something Spencer would always be great at.

My breathing started to match his movements and soon enough the cries had stopped as my face remained nestled against his neck. My hands had slipped under the jacket though, finding their home joined together on the small of his back. I gave his body one squeeze before a hand had slipped under my chin, gently trying to bring it out so my attention may be redirected toward him. With an ever gentle kiss to my forehead, Spencer ran his thumb along my cheekbone again, a slight moisture having gathered in his stare. “The universe could never take me from you. I wouldn’t allow it.” I wanted to argue. To tell him he could not make a deal with universal fate but something told me it would be a fruitless effort. “I’m not in prison anymore.”

“I know.” Was what I said instead, finding the strength once again to look into his eyes. “And I’m not scared of your forehead anymore.” Running my fingers through his hair, I smiled at the sight. “I don’t even hate it.”

“Tell me,” he started before using one of his own hands to push his hair away from his hairline. “Does my hair look sexy pushed back?” It was his best impression of the quote earlier, said with almost the same breathiness and cadence to match. I smiled then as my hands moved to the sides of his head, bringing his forehead closer to me so I could kiss the surface. My lips lingered in an effort to whisper a wordless proclamation of love before his hands found mine again, his head rising so he could look at me one last time.

“Yes. Your hair looks sexy pushed back.” I couldn’t help the laughter that filled my lungs and forced its way out, soon inhaled into his lungs and taking over him. Arms moving to secure around me, he pulled me into a hug before somehow wrestling our bodies to lay with the other on the couch.

I could’ve stayed in that moment forever. With Spencer safe around me, knowing the universe could not come for us on that couch. Not that night.

Thank you for reading!

Originally writter: June 20, 2023

I would leave a link to my asks box but it seems to be broken. 😔

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #angst #oneshot #mean girls #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #hurt comfort #fluff

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