#red wings awards

[1cupofsugar2eggs]

January 4th Awards

1/4

Red Wings vs. Jets. Wings Win 4-2

Players

Boop on Snoop: DeBrincat for his goals and getting a bad penalty goal

Cool Trick Bro: Lyon for the sheer amount of saves he made. Specifically the kick save.

Good Boy: Edvinsson because he’s normally a bad boy, and we didn’t catch him being bad today

Announcers

Boop on Snoop: Murph cause we can

Best Dressed: Mick with and without his coat. We were divided about whether or not the coat added to the outfit.

Best Quote: “Trip! Nothing! Put your fucking hand up!” -Audience

[madfanatic]

THE PIKMINBROTHERS WON IN THE GAME AWARDS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i love pikmin

[offsidenewsco]

Whether it’s on the stage or the ice, the show must go on!

We've assigned all 32 #NHL teams a musical, read our picks for your favourites here.

[chaos-doodles-shit]

Smidge of coloured StEx Wings of Fire au art. As a treat

Greaseball is a HiveWing, Electra is an IceWing, CB is an animus RainWing, Rusty is a MudWing and Tassita is a SilkWing/NightWing hybrid (but you can’t see it here 😔)

[thedreadvampy]

Lifting GOD!!!!!

(reminder to please donate to my friend and trainer Huld's transition fund if you haven't already, the powerlifting meet I went to today was a fundraiser for her and it was so lovely, everyone was such a sweetheart, her partner held a bake sale in the corner and Huld deserves such good things, if only for creating an environment where a bunch of gay weirdos can have a really good time taking part in what is often a very macho and intimidating sport)

[fancyschmancyopinions]

ALLISON JANNEY at the 76th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards on September 15th 2024 wearing GAURAV GUPTA COUTURE

The West Wing reunion, calling on Americans to exercise their right to vote, was one of the highlights of the night.

I really loved how dramatic this gown was. The red and black paired so nicely together, and I loved the mixture of fabrics. The gloves looked so glamorous and it was a very fun look.

[omgellendean]

So, Sacha Baron Cohen recently endorsed Kamala Harris in a fittingly racist islamophobic manner, by bringing back his character Borat. Yes, it's 2024.

Anyway, here's a 2022 investigation of SBC's vile Zionism and connections to the USA and Israeli intelligence, as well as an insight into the role of the US-American cinema as a propaganda tool.

Article: https://www.mintpressnews.com/closer-scrutiny-reveals-close-state-power-sacha-baron-cohen-really/279355/

Archived link: https://archive.is/7dSTL

Some quotes:

When asked about the national security state’s role in shaping pop culture, the former intelligence officer [John Kiriakou] said that it is “far more cynical” than most people realize, explaining:

” There is a branch inside the CIA’s Office Of Public Affairs whose job is solely to work with Hollywood Studios. This is something that the FBI has been doing since the 1940s. They’ll cooperate and give the red carpet treatment to any Hollywood studio that’s willing to make the CIA look good. “ [...]

In the end, “Brüno’s” production company did interview someone they claimed was a terrorist (in the Letterman interview, Baron Cohen described the man as such eight times in the space of three minutes). However, the person in question – Palestinian grocer and NGO worker Ayman Abu Aita – vigorously denied he was a terrorist at all. He claimed that Baron Cohen had told him the interview would be about his peace activism and that his life and business had been destroyed as a result. Abu Aita sued for nearly $100 million. The case was settled for an undisclosed sum in 2012. [...]

Even from an early age, Sacha was reportedly obsessed with the Jewish state. “He was very Zionist, very involved in Habo,” recalled one friend, referring to Habonim Dror, a left-wing Zionist group of which he was a member. Others remembered him as “a very nerdy, very funny, Israel-oriented guy” who went to live on a kibbutz in his youth. He appears to idolize Shimon Peres, traveling to meet him in 2012 and sharing quotes from the former Israeli president on his social media accounts. Peres, of course, oversaw the genocide of Palestinians in 1948, attempted to sell nuclear weapons to Apartheid South Africa, and carried out the ethnic cleansing of the Galilee region. [...]

Unsurprisingly, Baron Cohen has also campaigned fiercely against the Boycott Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement, presenting it as viciously antisemitic. “Boycotting? Yeah, fantastic. As long as they are Jews, it is alright. I’m not a racist, but keep the Jews out,” he said, in an attempt to satirize their position. [...]

Much of the movie is actually spent “on location” in “Kazakhstan,” where Borat takes the viewer around an unimaginably poor-looking village, making fun of how backward “his people” are. There are no Western egos or ignorance being punctured here. In fact, it was shot in a gypsy encampment in Romania, where locals were paid around $3 each to be humiliated by a man who spoke to them in a language they did not understand. The villagers were told they were appearing in a sympathetic documentary highlighting their lives. “Borat” made over $262 million at the box office. [...]

The racism was further amplified with the 2020 release of “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Within the first two minutes of the sequel, Borat informs us that Kazakhstan has canceled their traditional event, “the running of the Jew,” but fortunately his country still has Holocaust Remembrance Day, “when we commemorate our heroic soldiers who ran the camps.” Borat also received an award, which he stated will be “put in our national museum along with other treasure we have confiscated from Jews.” [...]

In actual fact, as many have pointed out, Kazakhstan was a haven for Jewish people during the Holocaust, not a perpetrator of it, saving thousands of Jewish lives by taking in people from Eastern Europe and other states of the U.S.S.R. Today, the country is commended by Jewish groups as a model of tolerance. It is also, notably, not a helplessly sexist nation; Save The Children ranked it higher than the United States in its list of best countries to grow up female.

This is a rather inconvenient truth for the Israeli state-building project Baron Cohen supports. Ironically, perhaps the most shocking and newsworthy case of exposing bigotry Baron Cohen has documented has never been revealed. While in character as Brüno in Jerusalem, Baron Cohen was beaten nearly to death by an enraged crowd of homophobic Israelis, who, angered by his camp and sacrilegious attire, started stoning him, on camera. Baron Cohen was reportedly “nearly killed.” Kiriakou told MintPress that Baron Cohen told him that a rabbi even spat on him. It was the only time in his career that he broke character and desperately yelled that he was an Israeli Jew, not a homosexual foreigner. The comedian fled for his life and found refuge in a nearby store bathroom. This footage has never seen the light of day. Perhaps it sends the “wrong” message.

[strawberryblondebutch]

Male announcers, I would like to propose a deal. You can continue bringing up men’s hockey on PWHL broadcasts as long as:

Broadcasters mention Jesse Compher on every Red Wings broadcast, Sarah Nurse on every Oilers broadcast, and Dara Greig and Mae Batherson on every Senators broadcast

Any time a Hughes brother breathes, remind the audience that Ellen was part of the first ever IIHF women’s world tournament team in 1992

When referring to the accomplishments of players like Cale Makar and Cole Caufield, be sure to mention that the Hobey Baker Award is “like the Patty Kaz”

Also when mentioning Caufield, take every opportunity to bring up that the year he won the Hobey Baker, the Badgers won a national championship. What? No, the real Badgers. The men lost in the first round.

If a goalie does a double pad stack save, someone comments, “Saw a little of Ann-Renee Desbiens in that!”

Any time a man complains about these decisions, tell them to get over it and smile more!

[helluvapoison]

Lend A Helping Hand

Lucifer, Adam, Lute, Vaggie and Husk need help preening

warnings: possible innacurate bird knowledge, heaven headcanons (also probably innacurate) illusions to sexual behavior but it’s not

[ii]

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

˚✧₊⁎ Lucifer ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Lilith used help… when she was around. The thought of asking someone else, much less the act itself, scorched him with guilt

• Oh well. Lucifer did it before, Heaven had rules about it, so he can do it again! And of course he did! It doesn’t mean it’s not an excruciatingly long process he puts off as long as he can tolerate

• You walk in on him attempting to strain his arms in ways they certainly shouldn’t bend. “Need some help?”

• “Pfft, who me? No, no, no I—“ He pauses. It’s like the predicament he’s been caught in settles in slowly, his smile dropping and crimson irises widening to rival a puppy’s cuteness. “Yes.” He admits meekly

• Your fingers barely touch his feathers and Lucifer jolts. Like him, his wings are so sensative

• Don’t take it personally when he tries to back out after that, cheeks bright red from embarrassment. He has six wings and can barely tolerate your touch as is. This could take a while, he already feels bad

• After a teaspoon more of convincing and a gallon of reassurance later, Lucifer sits as still as he can (which isn’t very) while you gently break open the pin feathers

• You could tease if you wanted, make a joke to try and settle his nerves but something tells you his wings aren’t the only thing that’s sensitive

• Lucifer appreciates your assistance and tenderness more than words can describe, nothing seems like a big enough gift to reward your hard work

˚✧₊⁎ Adam ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Usually it’s Lute that would help him (and vice versa if he feels like it) but she’s nowhere to be found. He can’t casually ask anyone else. Heaven and its inhabitants can be weird about certain shit, preening is no exception— even though everyone has wings here!

• Walking past Adam’s office, you heard a crash and a lot of swearing. “Sir, are you—?”

“Unless you’re gonna help, fuck right off!” He growls from the ground, still reaching at an awkward angle for his wings

• He’s shocked when you sit on your knees beside him and swat his hand away. “If you make this weird, I will leave.” You warn. He doesn’t dare make even a single comment

• Adam shivers when your fingers glide into his feathers. You wave it off the first time but can’t stop a laugh when it happens again

Face first into the carpet, his loud voice is muffled, “Shut! Up!”

• You take pity on him and don’t drag the process longer than necessary. Awarding yourself a final pet of his oddly soft wings, you stand up, “There. All better?”

• Rising to his feet and giving his wings an experimental stretch, he shrugs nonchalantly, “Thanks. I guess.”

• The next day, you receive a basket from Goody-2-Shoes with various snacks. The card reads, ‘Let me know when I can return the favor. Wings don’t have to be included. ~ A’

˚✧₊⁎ Lute ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• You know she needs help when she’s more irritable than usual. Snapping at everyone, even Adam, and flinching when her wings move in the slightest

• Approaching the subject with her is harder than anyone. As aforementioned it’s unspokenly taboo but that isn’t what stops her. Lute’s deep rooted issues with intimacy and needing help will make her walls thicker than ever

• “This is inappropriate,” Lute whispers.

In the dead of night she’s finally allowed you to assist but keeps fidgeting and surveying the area like someone will catch you two.

“It is not,” You roll your eyes, “Get your mind out of the gutter and be still! I’ll have you’ll feeling better in no time.”

• She seriously, seriously doubts that. Anything she can’t do herself, amongst certain divine exceptions, no one could do for her

• …But she’s letting you help (and your adept fingers are doing a better job) So either she doesn’t fully believe that, or you miraculously raised her expectations

• Lute decides the latter is acceptable– and a compliment, especially since you prove her wrong. Triple checking her wings, she can’t find a flaw or deny how wonderful they feel now.

• “This is adequate.”

You snort, “You could just say thanks?”

“How can I repay you?”

“I just told you.”

• She narrows her eyes, shocked and suspicious that you wouldn’t want anything. Lute, again, decides that your endeavor deserves an equal act of goodwill. Don’t take it for granted when she says, “No. I owe you one. One.”

˚✧₊⁎ Vaggie ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• She genuinely forgets what’s wrong with her when she needs to preen. Even with her wings folded away, the irritable pricking can be felt. She’s itching the back of her neck, hand clawing under the crew of her shirt and dipping between her shoulder blades when you ask when’s the last time she checked for pin feathers

• Vaggie’s always been independent. Up in Heaven she was a bit cocky with the fact she never needed help to reach them. Now, she felt helpless and stupid. Her arms cramped up, her hair kept getting in the way and the itching only progressed

• “Can I–?”

“No.” Her ivory eyes go wide, surprised at the fury of her own voice. Sighing and avoiding your (what she assumed was a) pitiful gaze, she apologizes. “Sorry. I don’t know why I… I used to be able to do this alone.”

Pausing at how defeated Vaggie sounds, you do your best to keep a positive, neutral tone.

“Cut yourself some slack, you haven’t done this in years. And, y’know, you don’t have to do it alone now. Not if you don’t want.”

• Smiling at the offer hanging in the air but not quite accepting, she goes about her managerial duties only to knock on your door afterwards

• Vaggie’s so grateful you can’t see how dark her face becomes as you sort through her wings. They’re not sensitive, they never were– it’s something about your fingers delicately touching her that cracks her resolve. Now she starts to understand why this was seen as an intimate act upstairs

• “Thanks for…” Still blushing, she gestures to her wings before hiding them, “Thanks.”

You try to keep up with her indifference but can’t help the smile spreading across your face.

“No problem.”

• If you think she’s not replaying the moment over and over in her head for days afterwards, you’re wrong. Vaggie’s desperately waiting for the moment to be just as useful to you

˚✧₊⁎ Husk ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• He’s hardly a fan of Angel touching him the way he does so a solid relationship is required to unlock the level of trust needed for this activity

• The first time it happens when you’re in his life, he won’t ask but also doesn’t reject the offer. Just looks extremely hesitant and uncomfortable

• Carefully, you pinch the rough layer and eye Husk from over his shoulder

• He breathes out a laugh, “Gonna take more than that to hurt me, sugar. Go on, I’ll be fine.”

• His wings might be the least sensitive… but that could also be all that alcohol in his system

• Husk hums as you work. After he gives a big, cat-like stretch and thanks you with a tip of his hat

• The simple gesture means more than you know, he’ll never forget it

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ accidentally on purpose put them from most to least sensitive wings hehehe

big big big BIG thank you to @kottenox for the inspiration and letting me take this idea and run!

[marypaol]

Skin To Skin

Draco Malfoy x fem!reader

Summary: The aftermath of Draco knowing who his soulmate is, yet he can’t bear to face her.

Warnings: Teasing, Boggarts, mention of fears, mention of the Hospital Wing, the Weasley twins being themselves, etc.

Note: This is Part 2 of “Copy Of A Copy”, so check it out before you read this! (And I’m sorry if this one is bad)

Copy Of A Copy

Masterlist

Request Reauirements

This person believed in me so here you go! : @theomalfoy

Draco wasn’t the want-everything-to-go-back-to-the-way-it-was-after-complaining-about-it-type.

Well, that’s what he kept telling himself.

But he knew deep down that he did want everything to go back to the way they were, because every time he looked at his hand, that deep red spot of irritated skin was slowly fading away and he wanted to find a reason to create it again.

She’d stopped drawing. And normally Draco would find that a good thing; now he didn’t have to harshly wipe them off and be left an embarrassing red spot on his hand. But he found himself thinking back on how the drawings actually looked good, despite him being annoyed at the fact they repeatedly showed up on his skin, and he wanted them back. Which, of course, sounds ridiculous if you were to look back on how he acted towards the other drawings that previously showed up on his hand.

But he missed it. Missed watching the lines form one by one, letting him know she existed. He even couldn’t get the image of her face out of his mind, ever since he saw her in Care of Magical Creatures. He couldn’t help but think she was decently pretty.

Draco’s hand has unwanted sweat on it so he harshly wiped it on his robes, a disgusted expression lying on his lips. He knew the reason for the sweat though, his quill once again hovering over his skin, the same skin he used to aggressively rub almost everyday as his soulmate drew mindless doodles on her hand.

He dipped the quill tip in the ink, the noises of everyone scattering about being the last thing on his mind, in fact the occasional “SHH!” from Madam Irma Prince was quite helpful to encourage him to focus once the students followed her orders.

He sighed softly, taking a deep breath while staring stupidly at his pale skin he was about to ruin.

He leaned down, the quill tip making contact with his hand two times, forming two dots. Those were eyes, he decided, and drew a straight line below them, making a face that represented him at the moment. His eyes were full yet his lips held uncertainty, hesitant to do this.

Once it was over it didn’t seem so bad anymore, as long as he could manage to hide it from Crabbe and Goyle. The thought of them teasing him about it, teasing him about actually writing back on his skin was unbearable. He could only hope that they don’t stare at his hand.

“Don’t be scared now, it’s just a Boggart.” Professor Lupin explained, his wand held with two hands, a grip on each end.

“Now, Boggarts like tight dark places, and I found this one in the wardrobe yesterday. I asked Dumbledore if we could use it for the lesson and thankfully he said yes. Now, does anyone know what a Boggart looks like?”

The usual hand of Hermione Granger was shot up at the speed of lightning, and once she was called on, she answered not only the right answer but was awarded points for her House.

“No one knows, sir. It takes form of the deepest fear of whomever it faces.”

“Correct, Ms. Granger.” Lupin said, smiling while Granger went slightly pink.

Draco rolled his eyes, irritation seeming to be boiling within them.

“But, everyone, we have an advantage against this creature. And that is?”

“There’s so many of us, it doesn’t know what to turn into?” Potter answered, and Lupin replied with a smile, and awarded more points to Gryiffindor.

“Exactly!” Lupin exclaimed. “Now, though, there is a way to get past a Boggart. And that spell is Riddikulus!” Lupin said, doing the hand movement with the one that possessed his wand. “Say it with me now…”

“Riddikulus!” The class said together.

“This class is ridiculous.” Draco mutters under his breath, Crabbe nodding in agreement beside him while he heard a snuffled laugh somewhere near. His head swerved and he spotted the same girl he saw in Hagrid’s class, trying not to smirk at his joke. He found a smirk coming to his own lips, proud of himself.

“They feed on fear, so think of what you fear the most, and turn it into something funny.” Lupin once again explained, and brought up Neville as a demonstration. “Now, Neville, tell me, what do you fear the most?”

“P-professor Snape.” the boy mumbled, having to repeat the same thing again but a little louder since the Professor didn’t hear him.

“Ahh.” Lupin said amusingly once the name was repeated. “I suppose he does intimidate us all in some way.”

There was a pause before Lupin continued to project to the class, for he was having a quiet conversation with the student before him. “Now Neville, I want you to think of your Grandmother’s clothes very clearly in your mind, can you do that?”

Neville nodded, shaking in his shoes. The door opened and Snape stepped out, looking normal as ever like you’d see him everyday but Neville was scared.

“Wand at the ready!” Lupin reminded, Neville held his wand up and squeaked, “Riddikulus!”

Snape seemed to spin around and he soon found himself in Neville Longbottom’s Grandmother’s clothes, a red handbag on his right arm.

The class laughed, Neville’s face slowly turned into an expression of relief.

Draco scoffed basically the whole time, not ending up actually facing the Boggart but watching as his peers did.

Weasley was practically having a seizure as he faced the spider, helplessly whimpering the spell causing the spider to have roller skates, legs swinging everywhere.

Draco couldn’t help but be curious on what the girl’s fear was, but she didn’t end up facing it just like him.

There was an exited buzz in the air as the students left class, each of them wanting recognition for how brave they were while facing their biggest fears.

“-did you see how I faced that snake-”

“-just said the spell and it went, pop!-”

“-the spider was huge!-”

“-never seen that kind of creature before-”

Draco grumbled angrily, grabbing Crabbe and Goyle’s arms and leading them out to the courtyard in front of the Black Lake.

“That was stupid. Why did he let us do that anyway, and for Dumbledore to give permission…wait til by father hears of this.” He mumbled, looking down and adjusting his arm bandages, thinking back when he insulted the Hippogriff. (He still didn’t regret it, the creature did look kinda ugly to him.)

“Right. We should owl him right away.” Crabbe suggested.

Draco looked up from his arm, eyes flaring. “‘We?!’ I’ll do it. It’s my father after all.”

His friends nodded, Crabbe going pink in the ears.

Goyle’s eyes then shot to Draco’s hand. “Ha! What’s that, Malfoy?”

Draco acted confused, and looking down, acted like he’d seen it for the first time. He pretended to look disgusted. “Gross I tell you, I’ll wash it off later.” He said, looking back at them. Both pair of eyes were still on him.

“Well? What are you looking at?” He snarled, and that seemed to do the trick, both heads bending down as they suddenly found interest in the grass.

“Do this Potion before you leave class, and then a portion of it on my desk with your name on it.”

Snake’s sharp voice echoed through the dark classroom, his gaze seeming to meet all of their eyes before he turned around, adding one last part of his instructions in the black board and heading to his desk, long nose lurking over the surface covered in parchment.

The girl sighed, opening the book to the page instructed and starting to chop the first ingredient. She liked to think of herself good at Potions, but sometimes little things like the reactants would mix up in her mind. But nonetheless if she focused hard enough and followed each step carefully, than she was proud to say that she could do it almost perfectly.

It was only then that she noticed the black markings on the back of her hand, and, looking more closely by bringing up her hand to her face, saw it was a smiley face. It looked smeared a little and the lines were wobbly, but she liked it since she wasn’t the one to draw it.

Scurrying through her bag pretending she was looking for something important, grabbed a quill and dipped it in another student’s ink when they weren’t looking. Then, turning back to her hand and covering it behind her cauldron so the nosy Professor wouldn’t see, drew two eyes next to his, a soft smile beneath it to show her gratitude. He didn’t do much, just too dots and a line, but the reason was all that mattered to her.

She just knew that he missed her somewhat forms of affection, so he acted upon himself to continue it.

“Ridiculous, I tell you, why’d he look at me like that? The audacity of some peop-”

“Sorry.”

Draco didn’t realize he ran into someone else, too busy rambling to himself about an annoying First Year who glared at him out of nowhere to notice his body ran into another. It ended up being a Third Year Hufflepuff, quickly scurrying around the corner to avoid the Slytherin.

Draco rolled his eyes, turning back to the direction he was going and continuing to walk to the Common Room. He muttered the password, climbing into the space full of couches and chairs, all in front of a burning fire, flames high and bright, full of color.

He sat down on one of the chairs, waiting for Crabbe and Goyle to get back from the Hospital Wing; the Weasley twins caught them in the hallway, convinced them to eat some candy, and now their faces were covered in red dots that got bigger by the second. Malfoy simply rolled his eyes at the news when Madame told him before making his way to the room.

He currently sat with a Potions book in his hands, long fingers running across the pages that helped his eyes read it better.

He turned the page, but the page he turned got caught on his robes, and, using his left hand, went to fix it before he froze. On his left wrist, he had another smile face beside the one he drew, this one with an actual smile this time not a straight line like his.

He fought a grin that was threatening to pull the corners of his lips, reaching over to pull his robe sleeve over it so no one could see.

-Like, reblog, and comment to make me happy!

Person I think would like this: @dunningz :)

[1cupofsugar2eggs]

January 2nd Awards

1/2

Red Wings vs. Blue Jackets. Wings Win 5-4

Players

Boop on Snoop: Motte for throwing himself on the ice to pass the puck to Berggren + Chiarot for blocking the shot

Cool Trick Bro: Berggren's out of the penalty box goal with 35 seconds left in the 3rd

Good Boy: Gustaffson for his first goal and not being a bad boy (that we saw)

Baddest boy: Chiarot and Seider (4 incidents each that we caught)

Announcers

Boop on Snoop: Ken (close second for best dressed)

Best Dressed: Trev

Best Quote: Mick's babbling after Berggren's goal

[mostlysignssomeportents]

I assure you, an AI didn’t write a terrible “George Carlin” routine

There are only TWO MORE DAYS left in the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

On Hallowe'en 1974, Ronald Clark O'Bryan murdered his son with poisoned candy. He needed the insurance money, and he knew that Halloween poisonings were rampant, so he figured he'd get away with it. He was wrong:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Clark_O%27Bryan

The stories of Hallowe'en poisonings were just that – stories. No one was poisoning kids on Hallowe'en – except this monstrous murderer, who mistook rampant scare stories for truth and assumed (incorrectly) that his murder would blend in with the crowd.

Last week, the dudes behind the "comedy" podcast Dudesy released a "George Carlin" comedy special that they claimed had been created, holus bolus, by an AI trained on the comedian's routines. This was a lie. After the Carlin estate sued, the dudes admitted that they had written the (remarkably unfunny) "comedy" special:

https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/01/george-carlins-heirs-sue-comedy-podcast-over-ai-generated-impression/

As I've written, we're nowhere near the point where an AI can do your job, but we're well past the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

AI systems can do some remarkable party tricks, but there's a huge difference between producing a plausible sentence and a good one. After the initial rush of astonishment, the stench of botshit becomes unmistakable:

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy

Some of this botshit comes from people who are sold a bill of goods: they're convinced that they can make a George Carlin special without any human intervention and when the bot fails, they manufacture their own botshit, assuming they must be bad at prompting the AI.

This is an old technology story: I had a friend who was contracted to livestream a Canadian awards show in the earliest days of the web. They booked in multiple ISDN lines from Bell Canada and set up an impressive Mbone encoding station on the wings of the stage. Only one problem: the ISDNs flaked (this was a common problem with ISDNs!). There was no way to livecast the show.

Nevertheless, my friend's boss's ordered him to go on pretending to livestream the show. They made a big deal of it, with all kinds of cool visualizers showing the progress of this futuristic marvel, which the cameras frequently lingered on, accompanied by overheated narration from the show's hosts.

The weirdest part? The next day, my friend – and many others – heard from satisfied viewers who boasted about how amazing it had been to watch this show on their computers, rather than their TVs. Remember: there had been no stream. These people had just assumed that the problem was on their end – that they had failed to correctly install and configure the multiple browser plugins required. Not wanting to admit their technical incompetence, they instead boasted about how great the show had been. It was the Emperor's New Livestream.

Perhaps that's what happened to the Dudesy bros. But there's another possibility: maybe they were captured by their own imaginations. In "Genesis," an essay in the 2007 collection The Creationists, EL Doctorow (no relation) describes how the ancient Babylonians were so poleaxed by the strange wonder of the story they made up about the origin of the universe that they assumed that it must be true. They themselves weren't nearly imaginative enough to have come up with this super-cool tale, so God must have put it in their minds:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/29/gedankenexperimentwahn/#high-on-your-own-supply

That seems to have been what happened to the Air Force colonel who falsely claimed that a "rogue AI-powered drone" had spontaneously evolved the strategy of killing its operator as a way of clearing the obstacle to its main objective, which was killing the enemy:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/06/04/ayyyyyy-eyeeeee/

This never happened. It was – in the chagrined colonel's words – a "thought experiment." In other words, this guy – who is the USAF's Chief of AI Test and Operations – was so excited about his own made up story that he forgot it wasn't true and told a whole conference-room full of people that it had actually happened.

Maybe that's what happened with the George Carlinbot 3000: the Dudesy dudes fell in love with their own vision for a fully automated luxury Carlinbot and forgot that they had made it up, so they just cheated, assuming they would eventually be able to make a fully operational Battle Carlinbot.

That's basically the Theranos story: a teenaged "entrepreneur" was convinced that she was just about to produce a seemingly impossible, revolutionary diagnostic machine, so she faked its results, abetted by investors, customers and others who wanted to believe:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theranos

The thing about stories of AI miracles is that they are peddled by both AI's boosters and its critics. For boosters, the value of these tall tales is obvious: if normies can be convinced that AI is capable of performing miracles, they'll invest in it. They'll even integrate it into their product offerings and then quietly hire legions of humans to pick up the botshit it leaves behind. These abettors can be relied upon to keep the defects in these products a secret, because they'll assume that they've committed an operator error. After all, everyone knows that AI can do anything, so if it's not performing for them, the problem must exist between the keyboard and the chair.

But this would only take AI so far. It's one thing to hear implausible stories of AI's triumph from the people invested in it – but what about when AI's critics repeat those stories? If your boss thinks an AI can do your job, and AI critics are all running around with their hair on fire, shouting about the coming AI jobpocalypse, then maybe the AI really can do your job?

https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/

There's a name for this kind of criticism: "criti-hype," coined by Lee Vinsel, who points to many reasons for its persistence, including the fact that it constitutes an "academic business-model":

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

That's four reasons for AI hype:

to win investors and customers;

to cover customers' and users' embarrassment when the AI doesn't perform;

AI dreamers so high on their own supply that they can't tell truth from fantasy;

A business-model for doomsayers who form an unholy alliance with AI companies by parroting their silliest hype in warning form.

But there's a fifth motivation for criti-hype: to simplify otherwise tedious and complex situations. As Jamie Zawinski writes, this is the motivation behind the obvious lie that the "autonomous cars" on the streets of San Francisco have no driver:

https://www.jwz.org/blog/2024/01/driverless-cars-always-have-a-driver/

GM's Cruise division was forced to shutter its SF operations after one of its "self-driving" cars dragged an injured pedestrian for 20 feet:

https://www.wired.com/story/cruise-robotaxi-self-driving-permit-revoked-california/

One of the widely discussed revelations in the wake of the incident was that Cruise employed 1.5 skilled technical remote overseers for every one of its "self-driving" cars. In other words, they had replaced a single low-waged cab driver with 1.5 higher-paid remote operators.

As Zawinski writes, SFPD is well aware that there's a human being (or more than one human being) responsible for every one of these cars – someone who is formally at fault when the cars injure people or damage property. Nevertheless, SFPD and SFMTA maintain that these cars can't be cited for moving violations because "no one is driving them."

But figuring out who which person is responsible for a moving violation is "complicated and annoying to deal with," so the fiction persists.

(Zawinski notes that even when these people are held responsible, they're a "moral crumple zone" for the company that decided to enroll whole cities in nonconsensual murderbot experiments.)

Automation hype has always involved hidden humans. The most famous of these was the "mechanical Turk" hoax: a supposed chess-playing robot that was just a puppet operated by a concealed human operator wedged awkwardly into its carapace.

This pattern repeats itself through the ages. Thomas Jefferson "replaced his slaves" with dumbwaiters – but of course, dumbwaiters don't replace slaves, they hide slaves:

https://www.stuartmcmillen.com/blog/behind-the-dumbwaiter/

The modern Mechanical Turk – a division of Amazon that employs low-waged "clickworkers," many of them overseas – modernizes the dumbwaiter by hiding low-waged workforces behind a veneer of automation. The MTurk is an abstract "cloud" of human intelligence (the tasks MTurks perform are called "HITs," which stands for "Human Intelligence Tasks").

This is such a truism that techies in India joke that "AI" stands for "absent Indians." Or, to use Jathan Sadowski's wonderful term: "Potemkin AI":

https://reallifemag.com/potemkin-ai/

This Potemkin AI is everywhere you look. When Tesla unveiled its humanoid robot Optimus, they made a big flashy show of it, promising a $20,000 automaton was just on the horizon. They failed to mention that Optimus was just a person in a robot suit:

https://www.siliconrepublic.com/machines/elon-musk-tesla-robot-optimus-ai

Likewise with the famous demo of a "full self-driving" Tesla, which turned out to be a canned fake:

https://www.reuters.com/technology/tesla-video-promoting-self-driving-was-staged-engineer-testifies-2023-01-17/

The most shocking and terrifying and enraging AI demos keep turning out to be "Just A Guy" (in Molly White's excellent parlance):

https://twitter.com/molly0xFFF/status/1751670561606971895

And yet, we keep falling for it. It's no wonder, really: criti-hype rewards so many different people in so many different ways that it truly offers something for everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

Back the Kickstarter for the audiobook of The Bezzle here!

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CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[janeyseymour]

Chicken Wings and Beer

Summary: You're a Hooters girl, and a certain group of teachers sits in your section. A certain redheaded teacher catches your eye, and you seem to catch hers.

WC: ~2.1k

Hooters- they were at the one and only Hooters location in Pennsylvania after a trip to the King of Prussia Mall. Melissa Schemmenti would quite literally be anywhere else but here with her coworkers. Why did they let Mr. Johnson choose where they should go to eat? Ava is all grins, Mr. Johnson greets most of the women in the restaurant with a smile, Barbara looks absolutely appalled to be stepping into this establishment, and the rest of the bunch looks mildly embarrassed.

You eye the group as they come in and immediately start to pour a tall Yuengling for your regular customer. With a quick check that your shirt is where you like it and a glance at yourself in one of the mirrors, you smile as you make your way over.

“Hey, Mr. J,” you say easily as you set the beer down for him.

“Y/N!” the older man chuckles. “How’ve you been?”

“Same old, same old,” you tell him with an easy smile. Then you turn towards the rest to the group. “My name is Y/N, and I’ll be taking care of youse today. Did we want to put in any other drink orders? Appetizers for the table?”

A few of them order beers while doing everything they can to not look at your chest or at the insanely short shorts you’re wearing. Your eyes slowly turn to the redhead that is sitting right in front of you, and… wow. She’s really pretty. She’s stunning. And she’s staring right at your chest without seemingly realizing it.

“Anything for you?” you ask her genuinely as you lean over the table, giving her a better view. You see the way her eyes go just slightly wider and a blush creeps into her cheeks.

“Uh,” she stutters out. “I’ll just take a Yuengling… please and thank you.”

You recite back the drink orders before getting the approval and turning to get the other drinks while they look over the menu. Melissa’s eyes are immediately trained on your ass.

“Melissa!” you hear one of the women scold. “Stop your staring!”

And although she’s being reprimanded for ogling you, you can still feel lingering looks from their direction.

When you return, the redhead’s eyes are immediately on your figure again. You place the drinks down and slide hers in front of her. She quickly takes a big gulp.

“Did youse figure out what all you want to eat tonight?” you ask as you lean on the table again, giving the hot redhead a nice view. Her cheeks immediately turn red again, and she quickly reaches for her beer again.

“We’ll do the pickles, fifty of the wings with sauce on the side- both ranch and bleu cheese, and an order of fries,” your regular customer tells you as he orders for the entire table.

You look around the group, and they all nod for the most part- doing everything they can in their power to only look at your face. The only one looking at your figure on display is the woman right in front of you- the one that caught your eye just as much as you seemingly caught hers. 

You personally bring everything you can over for them, and when Melissa drops her knife and fork on the ground, you easily bend over and pick it up for her.

“Think you dropped these, sweetheart,” you tease her as you set them back on the table with a wink. She can only stare. “I’m just messin’ with you. I’ll be back with a new set for you.” You take the utensils away and bring her another set. When you do, you make sure to show off just enough for her to stare at you with a smile.

“Thanks,” she says shortly, eyes only trained on your body.

“Can I get you guys anything else right now?” you ask politely, that award winning smile of yours on display this time.

Mr. Johnson waves you off before digging into his wings.

“You guys think I only come here for the pretty women, but I’m actually here for the wings,” the custodian tells his friends. “And Y/N is good company.”

“What’s she doing working here anyway?” Melissa asks. “She could be a supermodel.”

“Putting herself through nursing school,” Mr. Johnson tells the group.

“Damn!” Ava cuts in through a mouthful. “Hot and smart?”

“Wants to do pediatrics,” the janitor throws in. “She’s a good one. Always telling me about how she can’t wait to get out of here and start working at CHOP.”

“So, she’s hot, smart, and good with kids?” the principal asks incredulously. “There ain’t no way.”

“It’s possible,” Melissa shrugs as she bites into a wing.

“You think she’s hot?” Jacob asks. He knows that the second grade teacher bats for both teams.

“Of course she does!” Ava laughs. “She’s only been making eye contact with the girl’s boobs this whole time!”

“She’s single,” Mr. Johnson tells the group, but it’s mostly pointed at the second grade teacher. “Broke up with her girlfriend a few months ago. Poor girl was devastated.”

“Ooh, girl,” Jacob giggles like a schoolgirl. “You should ask her out!”

“I don’t know if she should do that,” Barbara huffs as she plucks a wing off the plate. “With such a… job choice that she’s making right now.”

“I respect it,” Janine shrugs. “If she’s putting herself through nursing school, good for her.”

“Ask her out!” Mr. Johnson eggs on the redhead. “She’s a good person.”

Melissa just takes another swig of her beer. 

You can hear them all encouraging her to ask you out, and you have to let out a soft chuckle as you chat with some of the other girls. They’re all telling you that you absolutely should ask her out.

“I don’t know,” you sigh as you fiddle with the ring that sits on your middle finger. “She’s pretty, but I doubt that-”

“Girl,” your fellow server rolls her eyes. “She’s been drooling over you since they walked in here. I’m sure Mr. J will help you out. If he’s here with her, you know she has to be good people.”

“Maybe,” you shrug. “I’ll think about it.”

A bit later, you bring another beer over for the redhead. You give her a wink and a bright smile before making your way back to the counter.

“She’s still staring at your ass.”

“And she should!” another one of your coworkers smirks. “Respectfully, you got a body on you, babes.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” you roll your eyes.

Only a few minutes later, the patron that you’ve had your eye on heads to the bathroom, and Mr. Johnson waves you over.

“What’s up?” you chuckle.

“What do you think of Melissa? She’s cute, right?” the janitor gets straight to his question.

You laugh nervously. “She’s pretty, yeah.”

“You should ask her out. She’s the best second grade teacher we got.”

You go to respond, but one of the younger teachers begins to protest. “Mr. Johnson! I’m right here!”

“I’m sure she’s a great teacher,” you try to placate. “I’m sure you all are.”

“You been flirting with her since we got here,” the custodian points out.

You bite your lip nervously. “No I haven’t.”

“You ain’t winked at me,” Ava tells you. “You ain’t winked at nobody but Schemmenti. I say go for it.”

“I-” you glance to the other veteran teacher, who is eying you warily.

“Oh, lighten up, Barb!” Mr. Johnson huffs. “Y/N’s a good one, Melissa deserves to have a little fun, and it’s clear these two are-”

He’s cut off by Melissa coming back to the table, and she has to brush past you just a little to sit back down.

Neither of you are expecting to feel that special touch- literally. She accidentally shocks you, and you have no idea how.

You jump just slightly, letting out a small yelp in surprise. Then you give her a sweet smile and tell her not to worry about it, affectionately patting her arm. The woman turns about as red as her hair.

“Can I get you guys anything else right now?” you ask. “Or are we still all good?”

“I think we’re good for right now,” Mr. Johnson tells you. “And hey, think about what I said.”

“What’d you say?” Melissa asks. “What’d I miss?”

“Just telling her to think about her future,” the man covers. Then he shoos you off. With a laugh, you turn on your heel and head over to check on your other table. You sway your hips a bit more than probably necessary, but you can guarantee that those green eyes are trained on your ass, and you might as well give her a show. Then you’re back to where the girls are, and they’re all cheering for you.

“Girl, she’s putty in the palm of your hand,” your coworker laughs. “I think you should just slip her your number.”

“I’ll give you twenty bucks to do it,” another tells you.

You can’t believe your friends. “Girls, I’m not going to do it… for the money. I’m gonna do it because I think she’s hot.”

So, when Mr. Johnson asks for the bill, you write the stereotypical ‘thank you’ on it, adorn with a scribbled out heart, before also writing your phone number down. You make it very clear that it’s for Melissa. As you set it on the table, you hope that she’ll grab it, but the custodian does instead. He gives you a knowing smirk.

“Mel, I think you should cover the bill this time,” he hands over the receipt.

The redhead looks over to him in shock. “No way. You wanted to come here. You pay.”

“Melissa,” Jacob nudges her. “Take the bill.”

“What the hell guys?” She doesn’t reach for it, but she does grab her purse and fish out her wallet. She hands you her card. “Just charge it.”

“Melissa!” Ava says pointedly. “You have to know what she’s going to run it for!” Everybody at the table has now seen that your number is very clearly printed on there, with a note that says ‘for the hot redhead, if she wants to go out sometime’. 

“I’ll see what she runs it up as when I get the notif-”

“Good God, woman!” Barbara has had enough and shoves the check in her face so that she sees the ten digits printed on there. “Take the damn bill!”

Emerald green eyes widen and sparkle as they see what you had written, and you almost feel embarrassed that you shot your shot with her. What if she-

“Is this really your number?” she asks as she looks to you, and for the first time she makes eye contact with you. She finds that your face is even more beautiful than the rest of your body… that your eyes sparkle with mischief and kindness, and everything that she wants.

You just smile at her before taking her card to run at the register. The girls instantly flock over to you.

“So she saw it?”

“Don’t act like youse weren’t watching the whole thing,” you roll your own eyes. You print the receipt to hand back to Melissa and head back over to the table.

“Youse all have a good night,” you tell the group, but your eyes are only on the redhead in front of you. In a rather daring move, you lean down so that your body is only highlighted. Melissa’s eyes go right to your body.

“That is my real number, so… if you ever wanted to get dinner sometime, I’m sure I can squeeze you in with my tight schedule.” You pat her arm affectionately before standing back up and walking to Mr. Johnson’s spot. You give the older man a gentle pat on the back and wish him well, telling him you’re sure you’ll see him soon.

The group heads out, you head back to your station with the girls, and as they’re exiting, you hear a few of them congratulating Melissa, asking if she really is going to reach out.

You wonder the same thing, but work calls. You have their table to clear, a few other tables to check in on, and then who knows what else will happen tonight. As you’re clearing their table though, a text from an unknown number comes through.

It’s Melissa, the first text reads. Then another comes through. Let me know when you can get dinner, and where.

You smile to yourself the rest of your shift.

TAGS: (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

The Boy Is Mine - Chapter One

Authors: @whatdoeseverybodywant & @paigereeder

Summary: Josh was at the tail-end of his marriage and has told himself he doesn’t want anything serious. He just isn’t a casual type of guy, and all his actions have consequences.

Pairing: Jey Uso x Female OC

****We do NOT give ANYONE permission to repost or copy our work and post it as their own, that goes for on here and any other site (this does not include reblogs on Tumblr)****

****We do NOT own any distinguishable public figures, celebrities, lyrics, places, institutions, or businesses. Only thing we own are our OCs and made up locations****

❤Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

CAST PAGE!  

~Thursday- December 31st, 2021~

The base thumped as the sweaty drunken bodies bounced, slid, bumped, and gyrated against each other in one of the most popular clubs on arguably thee most popular night for the city… in the most popular city in the world for this day. New Year’s Day always brought those from all over the country to New York City for one reason or another; be it a Broadway Musical, the Macy’s Day Parade on the day itself, or one of the many festivities the night before…the city had plenty of stories to tell. Some of those stories would be amazing, some would not be described with the same sentiment. And…Unfortunately for some, New York City was no Vegas…and what happened there would most definitely not stay there.

Amina was dancing, for the first time in a long time she was carefree. A state that she didn’t reach often, especially if she wasn’t drinking. Her nerves were much too high to get drunk, that was a recipe for disaster. Before her big basketball games in High School and College her and her teammates had their traditions that got them through pre-game and game day nerves. That luxury wouldn’t be awarded this time, she was doing this on her own. No teammates to fall back on, and she was entering into a sport where they would chew her up and spit her out if she showed weakness or lack of skill. Oddly enough she had become cool with a couple of her female colleagues so when she was invited out for New Year’s Eve in New York City she gladly went. She threw on a short black cocktail dress and the red Swarovski Crystal Louboutin’s she got for Christmas, some black eyeliner, a couple coats of mascara and a red lip stain to tie it all together and left her hotel room with only a couple goals. Dancing and having fun, hopefully hold the nerves.

She didn’t have the chance to become too familiar with her male colleagues but the ones she was introduced this evening seemed pretty nice and welcoming so far. Dancing with a couple and having conversations with others, being socialable wasn’t as hard as it usually was for her. Granted she was being introduced by someone that already liked her and had even taken her under her wing as her ‘little sister’, was also a plus. But even still, she normally stuck to herself being slightly shy because a lot of people had the misconception that she was either stuck up, conceited, or a mean girl. She was no stranger to being bullied, so this atmosphere was definitely a change of pace, and she was trying.

One guy in particular lingered a little longer than everyone else that talked to her. Amina enjoyed talking to him and even picking his brain a bit since he had already been in the business a while. He was easy to talk to and offered his help in the future with navigating anything in the business. For some reason, this man was comforting and that led to finding out he was funny, and that led to finding out he wasn’t a terrible dancer, and that led to both being fully sober when Amina found out his lips were soft when the club showed the ball drop and the clock struck midnight.

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

“S-shit…” Amina’s mouth fell open as she panted out; she gripped onto the sheets.

“Fuck mama…you takin’ dis dick so good baby….”

Josh held onto her hips with his right hand as he hammered into her, using his left to grip and straighten her chin as he dipped his head to kiss her. The champagne on his tongue that he used to cheers at midnight, mingling with the sweet fruity flavors from her non-alcoholic drink on her tongue as the two tongues battled each other for dominance. He squeezed her chin to get her to submit to his lead, she uttered incoherent words against his lips. Pulling away from the kiss his thumb swiped across her red lipstick-stained lips, smudging it lightly. She choked on her moans when he picked up the pace. Her lust-filled eyes glanced down where their bodies joined before roaming over his entire being. Josh was consuming and attentive, rough yet tender, passionate, and his strokes were lethal. When his eyes met hers, his lips formed a small lopsided smile. 

Her sensuality all evening had enthralled him, being inside of her was satisfying in so many ways. Every touch she left was warm and intoxicating. Her aura…welcoming and soft, not what he had imagined. The hiss they both let out in unison when he first sank himself into her; she was a vocal lover and he was slowly consumed with the sounds he could evoke from her. As her hands roamed his abs and chest he found himself already becoming addicted to being in her presence and attention. Lowering his lips to hers, contentment filled him when they collided.

“Mm… this tight ass pussy…. this gon’ be my pussy now mama?” Josh groaned into her ear, nibbling on the lobe.

Amina couldn’t form the words to answer the way she wanted as he made his strokes shallow and hard, hitting her g-spot over and over. He sucked on her neck leaving behind splotchy love bites. She ground her hips up as she felt the tip of his dick nudging her cervix. Josh moved his hand from her hip and pressed down on her lower stomach, and he slowed his thrusts; he watched his dick slide in and out of her, it glistened in her juices as his ears filled with the sounds of her wetness. She shivered under his touch, eyes rolling into the back of her head as she came.

“I need words baby…” he removed his hand from her chin, tapping her lightly on the cheek with the tips of his fingers. 

“P-p-please…baby…You... ugh… you feel s’good…I can’ttt” Amina moans, squirming as he fucked her through her orgasm.

Josh moaned as Amina rolled them over. He propped his head on a pillow as he watched her slow wind in his lap, squeezing her own breasts as she started to bounce; a new sense of pleasure surging through her as her body started to climb towards another orgasm as she barely finished the first. His hands traversed her curves in an appreciative and exploratory manner. Grabbing Amina’s waist, he thrusted up into her as she threw her head back. Sitting up, Josh reached his left hand up and wrapped it around her throat, applying slight pressure. Sucking her right nipple into his mouth,swirling his tongue around it, his lust filled eyes met her hooded ones as he looked up at her when her head lulled back forward. Pushing his body up more on his right elbow he used his left hand that was around her neck to pull her lips hungrily to his. He bit on her bottom lip, squeezing her neck as her ass was clapping against his thighs.

“J-JOSH!!”

“That’s right baby…let the whole floor know who fuckin’ this pussy…”

Clenching her walls slightly Amina spun around and faced away from him with his dick still throbbing inside of her as he laid back with his arms behind his head watching her; he bit his lip. Holding onto his calves she started to bounce; he slapped her ass cheeks as they ricocheted off his pelvis, his eyes slightly mesmerized. He closed his eyes and licked his lips as his balls started to tighten as his orgasm built. Amina started to rock as she used her right hand to rub her own clit. Josh sat up and switched their positions; he reached and gripped behind her knees putting them in a full nelson.

“Mm fuck…you on birth control Amina? Fuck! Let me bust in you…”

Amina nodded her head adamantly as she moaned, picking up the speed of her right hand rubbing her clit; she was completely at his mercy. Josh bounced Amina on his dick as her moans strung together, echoing off the room's walls. She rubbed her left hand down her body to his balls, gently massaging them in her palm as she rhythmically squeezed her pussy walls around his throbbing dick. He picked up the pace, bouncing her fast and sloppy; her breasts bouncing.

“F-Fuck J-JOSH!!!!!” Amina screamed out, her walls clenching in steady pulses as she came.

“Shit Baby...” Josh grunted as he filled her with his cum, biting down on her shoulder as she swiveled her hips slowly, his dick twitched as his warm ropes coated her pussy; emptying himself.

Both were panting as they came down, Amina rested her head back on him. Josh slid his arms around her waist; she placed her hands gingerly on his as he kissed her temple.

~Friday- January 1st, 2022~

Amina stood under the hot water, the steam soothing her muscles that were already beginning to ache. It was the big New Years Day episode of Smackdown in New York City at thee Madison Square Garden, and it just so happened to be her debut as well. She had practiced with Mercedes a couple times the week leading up to this in between the house shows. Mercedes was an easy partner to work with and she was really sweet. Everyone had been so far. It was always good to see everyone outside of work so the party last night that Bianca and Kenneth through was helping with her nerves as well. Now, that was her opinion walking into the arena this afternoon. Her debut did not go the way they had rehearsed… it at all. She still bested Mercedes like she was supposed to, but some of the hits the other woman landed seemed to be fueled by something other than what had been there when they were practicing.

Finishing washing up and washing her hair quicker than she would if she was home, or hell even if she was at her hotel for the evening, but the arena’s locker room wasn’t the place to try and reflect what could have possibly happened Monday afternoon up until when her entrance music hit. Fans were familiar with her from her extremely brief two month run on NXT, one of the fastest if not the shortest NXT runs in history, and they actually received her really well on the main roster. The fans, the higher ups, production and the men congratulated her, which didn’t explain why she would probably be wearing more black spots than Cruella DeVille and a lot of the women were side eyeing her.

Reaching her arm out she grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself, making sure it was secure before stepping out. She was wearing some shower shoes, so she grabbed her hair products and body wash then made her way out to the main locker room area. Charlotte looked up when she entered the room, but didn’t say anything; she just finished texting whoever she was texting before tossing her cellphone in her bag and exiting the room. She seen Pam glance her way then whisper something to Mercedes before she followed in Charlotte’s footsteps without a word. Amina threw her products in her duffel bag and took out her deodorant, she applied it quickly before throwing it in her bag as well before sighing.

“Ok…did I do something wrong to someone? Is this part of some hazing process?! Everyone was fine yesterday?!”

Mercedes chuckled under her breath as she took her items out of her own duffel to prepare for her own shower. She was far too busy gossiping prior to their segment. Pinning her hair up she grabbed her own shower products and towel and made her way to the shower area, that just so happened to have to pass Amina to get to.

“Yeah, everyone was probably fine before they knew you liked to sleep your way to the top. I don’t knock annnnnnyones hustle but…...no one is going to like the snobby brat that gets shit handed to her. And a little word of advice? Keep your legs closed to married men…” Mercedes smirked before using her shoulder to knock into Amina as she finished her walk to the showers.

Amina’s mouth fell open in shock. She glanced around the room, it was silent. The only one left in the room that she knew was Natalya, and her look was one of pity. Making her way over to the much younger girl, a slight frown on her face; she wrapped her arms around Amina.

“Try not to let it get to you. Some women just do not get along with certain other women. Sometimes its ‘cause they are a threat, or some real reason. Other times, unfortunately you can just exist and that will bother someone.” She pulled away and lowered her voice, whispering the last part. “Plus I think she has a thing for Josh…” Natalya finished, giving Amina a comforting shoulder squeeze and walking back over to her stuff.

Giving the room one more glance; no one daring to raise their eyes to her. Amina put on some lotion before slipping a thong and leggings on. Putting on a sports bra and zip-up hoodie, she took off her shower shoes and through on some Nike slides. Grabbing her duffle bag, she made a beeline out of the Arena. She heard a little shuffling right outside the door.

“I tried to catch you right after yo’ segment, but you must’a been bookin’ it to the locker room.”

Amina jumped at hearing Josh’s voice. She glanced at him for a second, she almost answered but then she realized that her frustrations and the entire problem….was him.

“What are you still doin’ here? Don’t you got a crew or somethin’ you travel wit’?” Amina said lowly making her way over to her rental that was thankfully tucked away in the talent parking underneath the arena, she did not need fans thinking the same things her co-workers were, or worse knowing that she did indeed sleep with a married man.

Josh moved to walk next to her, grabbing her duffle bag off her arm. She was about to protest but she didn’t want to make a scene, there were after all some crew members and other superstars down here. Luckily for her they weren’t any of those looking at her like a jezebel.

“Yeah, normally I travel wit’da fam but I wanted to catch up wit’chu…and I realize you ain’t even give ya boy ya number.”

“Oh…” she responded quietly.

They stopped when they made it to the Dodge Charger she had rented, popping open the trunk, she watched him put her bag in the trunk…but also his. She was about say something when he started talking first.

“We can stop at like two or three in the mornin’…if we do that we can wake up and only have to drive an hour or two after check out before we can check in at the next city…plus that will give us plenty of time to talk about why the girl I’m talkin’ to now is all short and dry when she was bubbly and talkative last night and this afternoon when I left her…”

He said it with a somewhat joking tone, but Amina knew without a doubt he was far from joking. Josh took the car keys from her shocked hands and went to open the passenger door for her. She looked at him and he gestured for her to get in, which she obliged before he shut the door after she climbed in. He jogged around to the driver's side and hopped in himself, waiting for them both to put on their seatbelts before starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot.

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

The two were silent until they hit the interstate. Amina didn’t know what to say to him, she wanted to go off, but she was too tired and too sore. The radio was the only thing heard for the first twenty minutes into their trip to the next city. A few moments after Josh’s GPS told him to get on the highway he cut the radio down.

“You good?”

Amina kissed her teeth. To her, that question was utterly stupid. She knew about wrestling; her grandfather enjoyed it when she was growing up. Knowledge of the sport to her, didn’t mean knowing the wrestler’s personal lives so how was she supposed to know this man was married? Yeah, he was attractive, but that did not mean she did a deep dive on every attractive man on the roster's marital status, no matter how few of them were attractive on the current rosters.

“I don’t speak in lip smacks and shit like that Amina…you gon’ need to use your words…closed mouths don’t get fed”

“Like you used your words to tell me you were married…not dating…MARRIED!…Maybe I should keep things closed…your little friend Mercedes made me aware that I should keep my legs closed to married men and not sleep my way to the top!” Amina started to fume as she angled her body to face him.

It was now Josh’s turn to smack his teeth. His knuckles on his left hand started to turn white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“I don’t speak in lip smacks and shit like that Joshua…you gon’ need to use your words…” Amina mimicked him.

Josh didn’t say anything, he just nodded his head silently. The silence was becoming too much for Amina, and if he wasn’t going to explain himself, she would just cut her losses and go about her life with most of the people she seen daily disliking her. She could go to everyone that gave her a dirty look and explain that she didn’t know, but what would be the point…if they didn’t dislike her for thinking she was a home wrecker they would find something else to condemn her for. Leaning forward she turned the radio up, this would be a long little trip but once it was over they could go their separate ways.

There was a rest stop that was coming up and Josh took the turn off for it at the last second, causing Amina to hold onto the door.

“Man makes me a whore and wanna drive frivolously….”

“Cut that shit the fuck out…”

She wasn’t sure if it was the tone, or the overall seriousness of his posture…but she cut that shit the fuck out. Josh parked in an area that was farthest away from the actual building and took his seatbelt off, angling his body towards her.

“She said that shit to you?”

Of all the things he chose to comment on, it was the fact of what Mercedes said not what he had done.

“Does it fuckin’ matter that she said the shit to me?! YOU didn’t…”

“I ain’t say that dumbass shit to you ‘cause I know you ain’t fuckin’ yo’ way to the top… and you ain’t open yo’ legs to a married man. Well… not technically.”

“Pfft” Amina crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

Josh licked his lips and reached over the center console and knocked her arms loose.

“I’m fa’ real…I… well…I’m not divorced yet, but I’m separated. And yo ass talented as fuck… me and Big Uce was watchin’ some of yo’ matches at NXT…shit even watched yo’ college highlight reel. Hell, yo ass might got us beat on some of the shit yo’ lil ass can do. I don’t know what the hell her issue is, i caught the segment just as you made it to the ring, she probably was mad you cooked her ass. I even heard folks talkin’ bout you dawg walked her on the mic. So, you got mic skills this early in yo’ career too? You ‘bout to be pressure. Hell… I might have to get in bed wit’chu to get some tv time in a minute.” He joked, noticing her face still lacked any and all amusement. Amina rolled her eyes again and turned her head to look forward and out the front windshield. He reached over to firmly grabbed her chin, turning her to face him again gently. “Maaaan look at me when I’m talkin’ to you and fix ya face. I’m fa’ real. You don’t need me to push you no where… you goin’ places. But on the real…my marriage been over. It’s just…I guess we then got into a co-parenting routine and since we don’t live together, I ain’t press for a divorce. Plus, our sons is young, she ain’t even move out right away. I got a lil’ spot in Florida from back when we was doin’ the thunderdome, so I stayed there a little more. But now she found her a new crib and we explained to the boys somewhat. Man my family don’t even know for real, just Jon, Joe, and Joseph…not even Trin know right now. I’m private, don’t none of them people in there that I don’t talk to like dat know about all dat…”

He let her chin go when her face softened. Amina wanted to believe him, but in all honesty, she didn’t know him well enough to know if he was a liar. In her gut, she felt like he wouldn’t lie about that. Josh could tell by the look on her face she was conflicted.

“Look…we was vibin’. We had good conversation. You like a lot of shit that I do. You like sports, and….hell you interested in wrestling. And all that shit is important to me at this point in my life. I…I can’t offer you a relationship. Cause I don’t even know if I’ll ever want that again at this point. I don’t require much personally, but my lifestyle so different most won’t understand; you gon’ learn this shit ain’t for the weak. But, if you cool wit’ it… I want us to be able to kick it.”

“…I…I mean I guess we can kick it….not like I have many friend options now, I probably wouldn’t have anyways…besides….we just kickin’ it…it’s not like we gonna repeat last night where you tryna rearrange my insides.” Amina rolled her eyes again, sarcastically this time.

“You want me to talk to ‘em?…”

“Nah… it’s whatever. I’m used to it.” Amina sighed.

“You sure?”

“Yeah…I’m sure…”

“Aight… take out yo’ phone…”

“Why?” she raised her eyebrow at him.

“You know you walkin’ around wit’ a Utopia Box?” He asked, flicking his eyes between her legs than back at the well-lit building of the rest-stop.

“Thanks, I got it for my birthday…” she deadpanned. He was so random.

“Look up the best divorce lawyer in Atlanta….”

“Huh?…”

“Girl if you don’t want me to talk to ‘em… and the only thing stoppin’ me from gettin’ back in between yo’ legs is my divorce than I’m pickin’ one and I’ll call bright and early at eight on Monday mornin’…cause baby I’m a lot to handle and my sexual appetite high, so if you think you can put that good ass pussy on me and you gon’ fuck and duck me? You outta yo’ mind…respectfully. ”

Amina shoved him causing him to flinch towards the door, laughing. She side-eyed him for a minute before joining in with him in laughing. When their laughter died down his eyes got a little lower as he slowly blinked, moving in closer to her face.

“Ahmi, Can I kiss you?”

“Ahmi?” she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t decipher.

“I’on kno it’s like yo’ name but remixed…plus I’m sure you ain’t gon’ let me call you baby at work…” he smirked.

“It’s just no one has ever given me a nickname before…except my mama and my lala”

“That makes me special… and since I’m special…” he paused and licked his lips. “I’m gon’ ask again..can I kiss you?” his voice slightly huskier.

Biting her bottom lip for a second, before nodding her head slowly, he smiled closing the very short distance between them and pressed his lips softly to hers.

-Tuesday- February 14th 2022 ~

Atlanta, Georgia 

“Fuck!” Chantelle Dixon also known as Honey cried out as she finished counting all the money she had made for the night. “Five hundred?! This shit ain't enough,” she exclaimed, her voice dripping with irritation. She ran a hand through her curls, trying to shake off the disappointment in her chest. Valentine’s Day was normally a good day at the club, but this year, everyone seemed to be in a relationship or flat-out broke.  Honey scowled, stuffing the bills into her purse, not bothering to roll them.  She'd have to pull double shifts next week to make up for this disaster. Her mother was already doing doubles all week at the diner to make ends meet, and Honey had promised herself she wouldn't let her down.

“Honey! Request, room four!” a voice called out, breaking her moment of frustration. 

"Okay" she called back, irritation still present in her voice. She took a deep breath and looked at herself in the mirror, she forced a smile onto her face as she adjusted her sparkly top and reapplied her lip gloss. 

The walk from the dressing rooms to the private one wasn’t a long one. Honey knocked twice before entering, her practiced sultry gaze sweeping the dimly lit room. Her heart skipped a beat as she locked eyes with her client for the night. This man was FINE —caramel skin glowing under the soft light, muscles defined in a cut-off white Nike shirt. The Cuban link around his neck and wrist gleamed like a promise of something more. She prayed that this dance would give her just enough to keep the lights on for another month. 

She felt her panties dampen as he stuck his tongue out to lick his lips and the gleam of his grillz caught her attention. Honey swallowed hard, trying to regain her composure. This wasn't her first rodeo, but something about this man made her feel like a rookie all over again. She walked further into the room, hips swaying with each step as she felt his eyes on her. 

“Damn Ma’ you even prettier up close.”  He muttered licking his lips again as she walked closer to him. 

Honey felt her cheeks grow hot as his eyes roamed her body. “Thank you,” She said with a sultry smile just as the music started flowing through the room. “You don’t seem like the type to be alone on Valentine's Day.” She said just as she started gyrating her body to the music. 

“I’m usually not.” He chuckled, leaning back in the chair and getting comfortable, legs spreading open, so if she wanted to, she had room to dance up close. “This year jus’ a lil’ different” 

“Well, that's good for me right?” Honey winked, as she slid her hands up her body, keeping her eyes locked on his as she reached her clothed breast. Josh felt his mouth dry up as Honey started to toy with the silver buckle that held her top closed. “I get to have you all to myself.” He groaned as she finally undid the clasp and her breast spilled out. 

“Fuck” She heard him whisper and it made her smirk. Honey bit her lip and turned her back to him, rolling her hips in slow, hypnotic circles.  She bent her knees a little shaking her ass in his face, before standing up straight and slowly walking over to him. Honey straddled his lap, her hips undulating to the rhythm of the music. She could feel the heat radiating from his body, his breath hot on her neck as she leaned in close. His hands hovered near her waist, not touching, but she could sense his restraint. She ran her hands up his arms, loving the way his body shivered under her touch.

. “What’s your name?” 

“Josh” He answered immediately. His eyes dropped down to her exposed breast and he licked his lips. As she continued her dance. She could feel his arousal pressing against her, and it took all her self-control not to grind down harder. This was business, after all. But something about this man made her want to blur those lines. Josh's fingers twitched, yearning to touch her.  Honey noticed his struggle and leaned in close, her lips brushing his ear. “Remember, baby, no touching,” she purred, her voice low and sultry.

Josh groaned, his head falling back against the chair. “Damn, ma. You makin’ it real hard to follow the rules.”

Honey chuckled, a sound that sent shivers down Josh's spine. She continued her dance, her body moving in perfect sync with the music. Her hands trailed down her sides, over her hips, drawing his gaze to every curve. As the song faded out, Honey stood up slowly, her eyes never leaving Josh's. She could see the desire burning in his gaze, matching the heat she felt coursing through her own body. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was a professional who was used to maintaining emotional distance from her clients. But something about Josh was different and it intrigued her. 

“That's the end of our time, baby,” she said, her voice huskier than she intended, more turned on than she had ever been during a private dance.  Josh’s eyes widened as she bent down to grab her discarded top. 

“One more dance,” he said, grabbing his wallet and taking out a couple hundreds. Honey’s eyes widened. It was way more than necessary. “Please,” he begged and Honey felt herself nodding. 

“Okay,” She whispered, dropping her top back to the floor. As the next song started to play, Honey went back to her previous position, straddling Josh’s thighs. As Honey began to move again, she felt a shift in the atmosphere. The air between them crackled with electricity, and she found herself getting lost in Josh's intense gaze. His hands, still hovering near her waist, trembled with the effort of restraint.

She quietly grabbed his hand and placed it on her waist. She would deal with the consequences from her boss later. Josh let out a choked curse as his hands came in contact with Honey’s soft skin. He brought his other hand up and gripped her hips. The music faded into the background as they lost themselves in each other. Honey's hands slid up Josh's chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath her palms. She leaned in, her forehead resting against his, their breaths mingling in the scant space between them. Somehow the dance had turned into downright dry humping. 

Honey's hips moved in slow, sensual circles, her body responding to Josh's touch in a way she'd never experienced before. She could feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt, his fingers digging into her flesh making her moan softly. 

“What’s yo name?” He asked and Honey knew he was asking for her real name. 

“Chantelle.” She whispered, moaning as Josh began rocking her hips harder against his erection, biting his lip at her soft moans. 

“Chantelle,” Josh repeated softly, savoring the sound of her real name on his lips. “It suits you.” He said as he pulled her even closer, her bare breast now pressed up against his shirt. Chantelle felt herself getting lost in the moment, in the heat of Josh's touch and the intensity of his gaze. She knew she was crossing a line, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She had never crossed this line before, but something about this man was different. It felt natural to be this way with him. 

Chantelle’s fingers tangled in his hair as she closed the remaining distance between them, her lips brushing against his in a feather-light kiss. Josh groaned, one hand sliding up her back to cup the nape of her neck. He deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing the seam of her lips until she opened for him. The kiss was electric, setting every nerve ending in Chantelle's body on fire. She leaned her neck to the side as she trailed kisses up and down her neck. 

“What time yo’ shift over?” 

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

“Fu-fuck” Chantelle moaned out as Josh wrapped one of his hands around her neck, pinning her to the seat as he fucked all the thoughts out of her head. This was not how she pictured her night ending, folded up in the backseat of Josh’s car, eyes crossed, mouth hung open in pleasure while he dugged her out. She had one of her hands pressed up against the door and the other one was holding onto her breast, toying with her nipple. 

Josh's grip tightened as he thrust deeper, eliciting another breathy moan from Chantelle.  “So fuckin’ wet.” He mumbled, eyes locked onto where their bodies met, loving the way her pussy swallowed his dick whole.  Chantelle choked out another moan as he let go of her leg with his other hand and brought it down to her clit, rubbing it in tight circles.  “Pussy so fuckin’ tight, so fuckin’ good. You gon come fa’ me?”  He grunted out, eyebrows furrowed together as he started pounding into her. The car was definitely rocking but neither cared, given she was the last to leave the club and no other cars were in the parking lot. 

“Yes.. oh fuck!” Chantelle's body tensed as her climax hit her full force. Stars exploded behind her eyelids as she cried out Josh's name, her body trembling beneath him. Josh growled at the feeling of her pulsing around him, He shifted his grip, sliding one hand down to Chantelle's hip for better leverage while the other remained firmly around her throat. The new angle allowed him to hit even deeper, his cock brushing against her G-spot with every stroke. 

"Fuck, you feel so good," Josh groaned, his voice husky with desire. He leaned down, capturing Chantelle's lips in a searing kiss. Their tongues danced as he continued to thrust into her, swallowing her whimpers of pleasure.

Chantelle pressed her hands against his abs trying to push him away, tears welling in her eyes at how overstimulated she felt. Josh broke the kiss and moved his lips near Chantelle’s ear,  his lips brushing against it as he whispered huskily, "You can take it, baby. I know you can." His tongue flicked out, tracing the shell of her ear. 

“J-Josh!" she cried out, as her second orgasm hit outta nowhere, her fluids gushing out, wetting up him and his seats. 

Josh's rhythm faltered as Chantelle's second orgasm washed over him, her slick heat clenching around him like a vice. He groaned, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he fought to maintain control. The scent of her skin, a mix of sweat, and her flowery perfume filled his nostrils, driving him wild.

"Fuck, Chantelle," he panted, his hips snapping forward with increased urgency. He abruptly pulled out of her and grunted and he came. Chantelle gasped at the sudden emptiness, her body still trembling from her climax. She watched through heavy-lidded eyes as Josh stroked himself to completion, his release spilling onto her stomach and breast in hot spurts. Chantelle moaned at the feeling. 

"Damn, girl," Josh murmured, running his hands through his damp mullet after their breathing had returned to normal.  He reached into the pocket of one of the chairs in the backseat and handed her a pack of baby wipes. She eyed the wipes in his hand, wondering why he had them in his car. “Whatchu looking at them like that for?” 

“You uhh.. Do this often?” She asked as she took them and wiped his release off her stomach and breast. 

“What -Nah!” He chuckled. “I have kids and they be messy as hell. Can’t get in the ride with messy ass hands.” Chantelle giggled as she sat up and began putting her clothes back on. 

“Where’re my panties?” She asked looking around the car. She cursed and she peered into the front seat and saw them torn, hanging from his rearview mirror. “Sir what the hell.”

Josh chuckled as he pulled his briefs and cargo pants back over his hips. He grabbed them out of her hand. “Souniver” He winked and she scoffed. 

“I’m not getting in a Uber with no panties.” 

“Girl. You know imma take you home. I ain’t havin’ you in no stranger’s car.” Chantelle’s eyes widened. There was no way in hell he could see where she lived. Technically he was a stranger too.

"No, no, it's cool. I can just call my friend to come get me," Chantelle said quickly, fumbling for her phone.

Josh raised an eyebrow. "At 3 AM? C'mon, be forreal. I'll drop you off, it's no trouble." 

Fuck Chantelle thought as she tried to come up with a plan. Josh got out of the back seat and stretched his body before getting the the driver's seat and starting the car. He then picked his phone up from the cup holder – where he had placed it earlier and handed it to her. 

“Put yo’ address in” Still panicking, she quickly entered the only other address she knew by heart. She handed Josh back his phone and climbed into the passenger seat. As she settled into the seat, she quickly grabbed her phone and texted her best friend. She crossed her fingers as she waited for her response. 

To Bff4L : You up?  From Bff4L : yea whats wrong?  To Bff4L: I’ll explian when I get there. 

Chantelle relaxed in her seat as Josh started driving towards her best friend's house. The car ride was anything but silent. They pretty much got to know each other in the 30-minute drive. Chantelle had learned that he was 35, had two kids, and was an athlete. Which didn’t really surprise her. It was obvious he had money. 

Chantelle told him some things about her too. She told him she was 26, she was born and raised in Atlanta, and that she was an only child. He didn’t need to know anything else.  She let out a tiny sigh of relief as he pulled onto her friend's block. 

“Thank you,” Chantelle whispered as she looked over at him. Her heart pounded in her chest as their eyes locked. Josh smiled at her. He had taken his grillz out and his smile was even more captivating without them. Chantelle felt a flutter in her stomach. 

“It’s all good Telle.” 

“Nig– Telle?” Chantelle raised an eyebrow, not sure how to feel about the new nickname.

“What? You don’t like that? How bout boo, baby, sweetheart.. I can go on.” Josh teased playfully.

Chantelle scoffed and opened the car door. “Bye Josh” She rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the smile on her face as she shut the passenger door and started walking up the driveway towards the front door. 

“Bye Boo!” 

She flipped him off making him laugh.  She opened the front door and looked back to see Josh still sitting in his car, watching her with an amused grin. She shook her head and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“Is he the reason why I’m up at 3 a.m.?” 

Chantelle jumped and turned to face her best friend Dejah, who was leaving the kitchen with a bottle of water. 

“Shut up, you said you were up already,” Chantelle muttered as they walked into the living room and threw themselves onto the plush couch. Chantelle sighed as she leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes. 

“Bitch! Who the fuck was that?” 

Chantelle sighed with her eyes still closed, she answered, “That was Josh. We met at Blue Diamond earlier.” Dejah hummed and Chantelle opened her eyes to look at her. “What?” 

“Y’all met at the club?” when Chantelle nodded Dejah continued. “So how did you get in his car at three in the morning?” 

Chantelle groaned and covered her face. “Don’t judge me Dejah.” 

Dejah gasped and reached over to slap Chantelle on her arm. “Chantelle Rose! Did you sleep with him?” With her face still covered, Chantelle nodded, and Dejah hit her on her arm again. “What the hell friend! Why?!” 

“I don’t know,” Chantelle muttered, dropping her hands from her face and looking at her best friend. “It’s just – something about him is just different. You know I’ve never done nothing like this before. I tried to just be professional but girl, the way he looked at me I mean.” Chantelle paused and took a deep breath. “I been striping for years and have been stared at like a piece of meat by any and every man. But the way Josh looked at me, it was like he saw through all of that. Like he was seeing the real me, you know?” 

Dejah shook her head. “You a big girl so I’m not gonna berate you. All imma say is be careful.” Dejah said as a yawn escaped her mouth. “I’m going to bed. You already know the guest room is yours” 

“Thank you,” Chantelle muttered. Dejah gave her friend a tight-lipped smile before making up way out of the living room and up the steps to her bedroom. 

With a sigh, Chantelle stood from the couch and made her way to the guest room. She took a quick shower before changing into the pajamas she left there last time. As Chantelle climbed into bed, there was only one thing on her mind.. Josh. 

~ Wednesday- February 15th 2022 ~

It was around 10 am the next morning when Chantelle finally left Dejah’s house. As she was walking out the front door and to the MARTA bus stop a couple of blocks down. As she made it to the end of the driveway and semi-familiar white BMW pulled up to the curb. She paid it no mind and continued her walk to the bus stop. 

“I man, Ion mind chasing after you.” Chantelle stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to see Josh smiling at her as he leaned over to yell out the passenger window. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked, walking back towards the car, trying to keep her voice casual despite the flutter in her stomach.

Josh shrugged, his grin widening. “I came to see if you wanted to go to breakfast”  

Chantelle’s heart skipped a beat. He came to see me she thought as a smile crossed her face. She nodded and grabbed the handle of the car door, opening it. “I would love to.” 

₊˚ ‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵˚₊

“How you doin'? Uh, can I get triple hash browns scattered and covered? Six scrambled eggs with American cheese, two chocolate chip waffles, and a lemonade.” 

Chantelle’s eyes widened as his order kept growing and growing. After he was done he looked over at her, waiting for her to order. “Damn, I thought you were ordering for the both of us.” She chuckled before turning her attention to the waitress. “Can I just get the cheese and eggs with raisin toast please, with a glass of water?” The waitress nodded before taking their menus from them and walking away to put their order in.  

Raisin Toast? Josh thought That’s what Ami– he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She ended things with you. Stop thinking about her.  

They both lapsed into a comfortable silence, sneaking glances at each other before adverting their gazes. Chantelle felt herself blush when Josh caught her staring and smirked at her. 

“Can I just say that um, I never done.. Um, I never had uh, sex with a client before,” she admitted softly, glancing up at him through her lashes.

“I’m your client?” 

Chantelle nodded. “Yeah, you paid for a service and I provided that service, making you my client. But I don’t want you to think I’m some hoe or something, just sleeping with men who pay for dances.” 

“Telle.” Josh chuckled, cutting off her rambling. “I don’t think you a hoe. Promise” 

“Thanks,” she said softly, meeting his eyes. “I just... I don't usually do that kind of thing. There was just something about you…” She trailed off with a shrug and Josh’s smile dropped a little. He cleared his throat and sat back in his seat. 

“Look, I wanted to eat first but uh. I like you. I mean the sex was.” He paused and let out a slight chuckle. “The sex was good but I can’t go no further with you.” Chantelle’s face dropped. “I mean, I can’t give you a relationship or nothing. Like I’m always on the road and only here in the ATL for about two to three days out the week.” 

“Oh,” Chantelle said. She felt her heart sink, but she forced a small smile and nodded. "I understand," she said softly, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "I appreciate your honesty."

Josh leaned forward, his gaze intense. “I don't want you to think I'm playin' you or nothin'. It's just... my life, it's complicated as hell right now and  I can't drag you into all that.”

Chantelle said nothing and Josh sighed just as the waitress came and sat their food down. Not in the mood to eat anymore, she asked the waitress for a to-go box. 

“Wait. Chantelle, you don’t have to leave.” 

“No, I think I should.” She said as she started putting her food in the container.” 

“Listen Uce, chill chill,” Josh said as she stood from the booth and started walking towards the exit. He stood too and grabbed her arm gently, stopping her from walking away from him. “We can be friends, can’t we? I-I got so much shit going on right now. I can’t be in a relationship.” 

Chantelle rolled her eyes. “Friends?” She deadpanned “You wanna be friends?” 

Josh nodded eagerly and held his hand out. “Yeah, You cool and we obviously vibe together. Leeme see ya’ phone.”  

Chantelle scrunched her face up but fished into her tote bag and handed him her phone anyway.

“Looks, here’s my number.” He said as he handed her phone back. She arched her eyebrow when she saw he had saved it under UceyJucey.  “Text me.”  

Chantelle bit her lip and nodded. “Okay.” She said just as she saw her Uber pull up in front of the restaurant. “I have to go.” 

Josh nodded. “Aight. Don’t forget to text me, Telle!” He called out to her as she was leaving the restaurant. He let out a loud sigh as he sat back down in the booth. He placed both his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands. “Fuck.” He muttered and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, calling the one person who he knew he could talk to. 

“ Uce! I was starting to think I wasn’t gon hear from yo’ ass today.” 

“Jon,” Josh muttered. Jon’s smile immediately dropped at the seriousness in Josh’s voice.   “I fucked up.” 

😮‍💨 Welp! Here it is! the first chapter of my and @paigereeder 's collab. Let us know what you think? We love interacting with y’all… stay tuned… it’s going to get even more… interesting

🏷️: @trentybenty @nbanenefrmdao @mzv11 @southerngirl41 @yana3sworld

@uceyliyahh @harmshake @wooahmiri @xbriexx @misslackey

@biancasreign @ashykneee @claymoresofinfamy23 @geekinstilettos @sayyestoheav3nn

@bebesobrielo @amandairene88 @summerssoldierxx @christinabae @cyberdejos2

@pinkwithhearts @partypoison00 @msbigredmachine @alika-4466 @bossbitch-22

@jeyusos-girl @fearlesschimera @privateeyed95

[tofumiarchives]

┊RED LINER┊˚✧

┊ONE SHOT┊MICHAEL KAISER X GN!READER┊

words: 596

unrequested

additional/warnings: ooc(?), cringe, swearing, lots of bickering, Kaiser

erm I think I like Kaiser

I'll work on my blog soon trust (me when I lie)

Sometimes, you really want to throw Kaiser across the room.

“You’re doing it wrong,” his words made you want to mess up on purpose, just so you could hopefully aggravate and annoy the star striker in front of you. 

“Shut up, Kaiser. Stay still,” you murmur under your breath, focusing on the task at hand. You suggested doing the eyeliner shit he regularly wears, all because you were bored without anything to do. Kaiser's reaction? Be an uncooperative ass, even when you offered so graciously to do something for him.

Red ink smoothly flowed out of the eyeliner as you carefully filled in the line. The blond had his eyes closed, head tilted up by your hand while you sat on the surface of the sink's counter. Kaiser didn't know what possessed him to let you do this, but to be honest, he'd let you do whatever if it serves him— as he thinks. It's not an excuse, because that's just pathetic.

You finished the second wing, leaning back to see if it looked even and good enough. Kaiser didn't miss that chance to tilt his head, looking at his reflection in the mirror. And, of course, he had to point out the flaws. “It’s not even,” he points out, stating the not very obvious.

The way you were holding back the urge to smack him in the head should be awarded. “What do you mean? It is. You should get your eyes checked,” you retorted, watching him scrunch up his face and look at you like you just ruined his face. He seemed to always do that. You could almost say he resembled some grumpy cat with the way his expressions look.

“You get your eyes checked,” Kaiser rolled his eyes. “Mine are perfectly alright. Meanwhile, you seem to not notice the minor details. You're really shitty at this,” he complained. Suddenly, you get the urge to remove the translator device in your ear, just so you could stop having to understand his ranting. Maybe you should. Hopefully it irks him.

You gave him a look. It was something between ‘I-regret-doing-this-for-you’ and ‘stop-complaining-you-bastard’. There was a click when you capped the liner, the sound bouncing off the tiled walls of the bathroom, filling up the small glimpse of silence after he spoke. “You know, maybe I should've messed up your liner on purpose.”

“Wow,” he replied, taking the red eyeliner back from you. “What, are you that mad you're bad at this? And, to be honest, I can pull off even your shitty, uneven attempts at doing eyeliner,” there he goes again, always preening like a damn peacock. Shit always flaunts whenever he can get to do so. What makes it worse is that he's actually attractive. 

That's it. You take off the translator provided by Mikage corps, placing the jet black bud on the marble counter. Kaiser raised an eyebrow, picking up on what you just did. Ah, the peace of being able to ignore him. He was frowning. Cute. You should mess with him some more from now on.

“Arschloch,” Kaiser curses you out, while you're blissfully ignoring what he's saying. This is so fun. You can choose not to understand a single shit he's saying right now! 

You point a finger at your ear, not being able to hide the grin etching into your face. “I can't understand you,” you point out, getting an ounce of satisfaction when he rolled his eyes. 

You’re starting to think you should mess around with him even more.

divider creds: @/cafekitsune

[hauntedppgpaints]

Goalie Goals: a brief history

Hey y'all. Resident goalie lover coming at you with something that I have been obsessed with since I got into hockey: goalie goals!

There are two kinds of goalie goals: a goal that was awarded to the goalie because they were the last to touch the puck before the opposing team got an own-goal, and an actual SOG.

In total, there have been 18 goalie goals across NHL history, scored by 15 different goalies. 11 of those goals have been SOG, while 7 have been own-goals.

The first goalie to be credited with a goal is Billy Smith of the Islanders, during the 79-80 season. It was an own-goal, with a player on the opposing team (Rockies) accidentally shooting into their own net. As of right now, this is the only goalie goal where the goalies' team still lost the game (the Islanders lost, 4-7)

The next two goals would be scored by Ron Hextall of the Flyers. The first (1) would be in the 87-88 season, against the Bruins. The second (2) would be in the 1989 playoffs (first playoff goalie goal!), against the Capitals. Both goals would be actual SOG's, making Hextall the first goalie to score with an actual SOG.

The fourth goal (SOG) would be scored by Chris Osgood of the Red Wings, during the 95-96 season, against the Whalers.

The fifth goal (SOG) would be scored by Martin Brodeur (1) of the Devils during the 1997 playoffs (second playoff goalie goal), against the Canadiens.

The sixth goal (own goal) would be scored by Damian Rhodes of the Senators, during the 98-99 season, against the Devils. This is the first goalie goal to help with a shutout for the scoring goalie.

The seventh goal (own goal) would be scored by Martin Brodeur (2) of the Devils, during the 99-00 season, against the Flyers. This is the first, and so far, only goal to be considered the GWG.

The eighth goal (SOG) would be scored by Jose Theodore of the Canadiens, during the 00-01 season, against the Islanders. Second goalie goal to help with a shutout.

The ninth goal (SOG) would be scored by Evgeni Nabokov of the Sharks, during the 01-02 season, against the Canucks.

The tenth goal (own goal) would be scored by Mika Noronen of the Sabres, during the 03-04 season, against the Maple Leafs.

The eleventh goal (own goal) would be scored by Chris Mason of the Predators, during the 05-06 season, against the Coyotes.

The twelfth goal (own goal) would be scored by Cam Ward of the Hurricanes, during the 11-12 season, against the Devils.

The thirteenth goal (own goal) would be scored by Martin Brodeur (3) of the Devils, during the 12-13 season, against the Hurricanes.

The fourteenth goal (SOG) would be scored by Mike Smith of the Coyotes, during the 13-14 season, against the Red Wings. This one holds the record of being the closest to the end of the game, being scored with less than a second left on the clock.

The fifteenth goal (SOG) would be scored by Pekka Rinne of the Predators, during the 19-20 season, against the Blackhawks.

The sixteenth goal (SOG) wouild be scored by Linus Ullmark of the Bruins, during the 22-23 season, against the Canucks.

The seventeenth goal (SOG) would be scored by Tristan Jarry of the Penguins, during the 23-24 season, against the Lightning.

The eighteenth goal (SOG) would be scored by Filip Gustavsson of the Wild, during the 24-25 season, against the Blues.

Some fun facts!!:

There hasn't been a goalie goal scored at home since Mike Smith, over 10 years ago

7 goals have been scored at home. 11 have been scored away.

Only one team has had more than one goalie goal scorer: the Predators, with Mason and Rinne

Only two goalies have scored during the playoffs: Hextall and Brodeur

Only one goal was scored with a backhand: Theodore's

Only three goalies that have scored are currently playing: Ullmark, Jarry, and Gustavsson

Two teams are tied with most goalie goals against (2): Devils and Canucks

it's been 45 years since the first goalie goal was scored