#red og I love and i think it’s a tie with the tv

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Meet Vox!📺

Made my own take on Vox for fun! This one was really fun to do!📺

Wanted to go for a mix of 50s salesman and modern TV show host. He’s a man of show and business afterall!

Made his screen a mix of 50s TV and modern flat-screen . Show even with a his new trends, fads and updates he's still a product of his time📺

Replaced the bowtie with a tie. To parallel with my Alastor more and neckties were the iconic 50s vibe and allude to him being a big businessman.👔👨‍💼

For his color scheme, ngl I always liked Voxs, especially since it has good contrast to Al, @the-burd-lord suggested I'd go with RGB theme, colors on display screen. Ngl I was conflicted what colors to go with for the vees(Primary, Red blue purple etc). But then I realized when u mix those colors u get those other colors and then I decided to give the Vees two main color themes for each. One for show, the other their true colors! I also looked at 50’s colors for inspiration, mixing it with a more modern electric ZAP! ⚡️ also looked at his pilot colors.

Vox advertises with bright electric blue like cyan! In reality, he's a dark sad blue.

Val advertises with passionate and romantic red but really he's a deceitful toxic yellow

Velvet advertises with elegant purple/magenta but known truth an envious and materialistic green.

Wanted his look to parallel Alastors, keep the vibe of dressing like him but also looking like his own brand! Both have Wave symbols as well as symbols relating to their special media, Alastor radio 📻, Vox TV 📺. Power buttons on his suit, TV waves in his tie, like a satellite📡 🛰️ ,

even incorporated his Logo. Love it!!!! Wanted Vox to give off a newer, brighter vibe! Show he’s keeping up with trends more than Al, staying relevant. Like those TV product ADS!!!!!!!!

Added sharper edges! Sharp guy!

Gave him a bigger build. More square shaped square along with his facial features for a robotic feel◼️🤖📺

Went more with his old Shoe design, but made them white with red.also added more stripes like the OG.

Removed the top hat to make his antennae look like a hat itself, along with making the V symbol.

For his time the pinstripe suit Def fits him, removed the long coattails.

Here’s a Link to Alastor and another. Might connect his story with Vox.

What do u think?How would u redesign Vox? I’d love to know💖

[hermit-searching]

TMNTposting Raphael edition (Part 2):

Part one can be found here. I really wanted to talk about my favourite little guy but I didn't feel like I had enough space to get all my thoughts down in the last post. So technically the entirety of part 2 is dedicated to 87 Raphael.

When asked who my favourite version of Raphael is, my answer is always a tie between 03 and 87 Raphael. I'm probably biased because they're the versions of Raph I grew up with, well 90s movies Raph is also in there but I really don't remember enough about the movies besides the Ninja Rap scene and I haven't rewatched it yet. The point being, 03 Raph tickles that itch for "more traditional Raphael" while 87 Raphael...I kinda just vibe with the little guy.

At face value he seems about as much of a traditional 'hot head' Raphael as Rise. Neither of them really fit into the "explosive temper" territory as 03, 12, 07 or the original Mirage comic Raph. He's a silly little dude. He likes playing dress-up, stand up comedy, and acting. Of all the versions of Raphael, he's definitely the most 'kid-like'. He's childish, he'll heckle his buddies for laughs, he even tells Shredder to go suck a lemon in the first episode. He's hilarious! But that type of comedy usually ends up getting him, and the other 87 turtles lets be real, into crossovers that horribly mischaracterize the poor kid.

As much as I loved TMNT 03, Turtles Forever is such a disservice to what TMNT 87 was, and who the 87 turtles are. 2012's second crossover with 87 also follows the TMNT 87 hate train, and it's so frustrating as a fan of most TMNT media. I get that the OG cartoon was super silly and tame compared to the others at face value, but every time someone says this I need to remind them it's 1) a cartoon from the 80s, and 2) lowkey really dark the more you think about it.

Such as:

-every time slavery is brought up and a plot for some other planet

-the entirety of the Red Sky seasons

-the humans of TMNT 87 always threatening to eat and or shoot the turtles because they're mutants

-the whole mutant hate sentiment being an allegory for the civil rights movement

But this is a post about Raphael. He's definitely still a funny little dude. But a lot of his humor stems from sarcasm and his cynicism towards the world. Raphael, is well aware humans are not fans of him or his compadres, and often sides with Donatello whenever he and Leonardo get into arguments about helping the humans. Their human friendship circle pretty much just ends with April and that's a dubious friendship at best since they're more or less a bridge towards her next scoop. None of them are really fans of Irma, Casey rarely appears, and the other human characters in the show are usually trying to turn them into kebabs until Dirk Savage the Mutant Hunter which already kind of says enough for itself.

This poor kid is honestly the bravest little dude. More often than not he'd rather run from a fight, or push Michelangelo into one for him. He's scared a lot, really giving off those youngest sibling vibes that are rare for Raphael. He's such a little scaredy cat that he his voice will sometimes sound like a squeaky toy. If Turtles Forever was correct about anything, it would be that Raphael would absolutely burst into tears meeting his Mirage counterpart.

But despite this all, Raphael is still probably the bravest version of Raphael they've ever created. Even though he'd rather scram, and read comics or watch TV. Despite knowing humans have it out for him, and will never accept him into their society. Even though he knows every time he saves them it will be a thankless job, Raphael will fight until his last breath. Like every other Raphael, he will protect the people and city he loves because that's who he is!

One of my favourite episodes in TMNT history has to be Raphael vs the Volcano because it really shows who 87 Raphael is as a person. There have already been a few posts about it recently who have all been far more coherant than I ever will be but let's do it anyways.

Raphael vs the Volcano:

-Donatello's latest invention, a health machine, malfunctions leading Raphael to believe he's unhealthy

-after panicking in the sewers a little bit, he goes back to the lair, only to overhear Michelangelo and Donatello lamenting over the loss of their dear friend.

-assuming they're talking about him, and that he only has a day to live, Raphael runs off, deciding that despite the fact the world sucks he's going to use his last day to make the world a better place

-he does a bunch of good deeds, increasing in danger, wearing a musketeer costume while the other turtles and April try to catch him

-some botanist is mad that a rich lady is taking credit for his discovery so he decides to eliminate all organic life on earth...not really important for Raphael's character except the fact he catches wind of this and takes this as his last deed before croaking.

-Raphael literally jumps into a live volcano to get the canister of anti-life juice, only escaping seconds before it erupts because the turtles arrive in time.

-the lesson of the day? don't jump into live volcanoes.

There's so much to unpack about this episode, but it'd mostly be reiterating the same things I said earlier about him. With a time limit on his life Raphael, despite the way he's been treated by the world will let go of his cynicism and crankiness to help people if it benefits everyone else. The kid shakes the moment he realizes it's been a huge misunderstanding and he's perfectly fine. Throughout the episode he's even saying things like "yeah too bad this is gonna be my last day". Like...he is CONVINCED he isn't making it to adulthood. If you think about it, it's basically what the other Raphs are as well, without the super explosive tempers. They're all just good-natured kids who have circumstances weighted against them, but they'll do whatever they can for the safety of their friends and family.

Please PLEASE give the 87 TMNT cartoon a chance if you've never seen it before. I promise it's actually good, and it has some extremely funny episodes.

[realmofvoxtv]

Vintee/Vee Alastor Au Designs (Au: In Voice and Visuals)

Hey everyone. So I finally got around to making the different looks for Alastor in my au "In Voice and Visuals" a.k.a Alastor joined the Vees when Vox asked him. (Which in this au takes place around 1950s-1960s).

For these suits I tried to reference REAL suits from different time periods. I also removed Alastor's bowtie in favor of a tie. Mostly cause I feel like it fit Alastor's gentleman style more. I also referenced different hair styles from the time periods.

Also single-breasted suit refers to there being one column of buttons.

ALSO I tried to keep Alastor's suits unique and tried to separate them from a very popular character (*cough* onceler *cough*).

I also tried to design and give Alastor looks that kept in mind his mixed heritage. Feel free to voice your thoughts! (Also in my art, when Alastor goes demon mode, I will either use radio symbols or will use distorted letters).

BTW, for these references for Alastor's pose I did trace a frame from the show, which is below:

With that said, let's see Alastor's different looks in this au.

I mostly kept Alastor's color scheme. I may exaggerate his suit's lapel/collar in the future.

So, this Alastor look is when Alastor joins the Vees and takes on the name Vintee (from the word VINTage, with an ~ee ending. So pronounced VINT-E).

I wanted to really experiment with his color scheme. Cause with Valentino, there would be alot of red and pink together. So I went with green as his main color. With his suit having a checkered pattern (made with a free procreate brush I used).

Storywise for this au: There will be a moment where Alastor tries dying his hair alone. Only for Vox to find him and we get some insight into Alastor’s struggles as a mixed man in the 1920s-1930s.

I also replaced his monocle with a small pair of glasses that rest on his nose. Since his ears can't exactly support his glasses. Alastor also wears eyeshadow and eyeliner.

Around this time flared pants were becoming popular. So Vintee/Vee Alastor would keep up with fashion. Even without Velvette being there to help him with his look.

BTW Alastor's casual look refers to when he isn't wearing his suit coat. Which he will only do around Vox, MAYBE he'll stay that way when Valentino and VOX are both around. And once Velvette joins, after some time, he'll also feel comfortable enough to not have his suit coat on around her and/or Vox.

I gave Alastor less flared pants, removed any patterns, and gave him musical note earrings. Referring to his role in the Vees being related to audio. Like music, radio, and hosting alongside Vox on tv (as podcasts are not yet around).

So this is Alastor's look after Velvette joins and gives the Vees some words about their looks. I gave this look a bit more purple. I also gave him stripes. I also gave Alastor a bun (which I actually really love).

This is also Alastor's look before he disappears for 7 years.

In regards to Alastor's suit colors, I wanted them to be almost washed out. Largely because in this au, it's clear that Alastor is both tired and feeling trapped. So, almost grey color scheme I think gives the appearance of being tired and almost looking like he’s on the job.

Alastor's eyeshadow is gone, and his eyelids og color red is back.

This suit has a lot more red, referring to his old look and even referring to his rift from the Vees.

So that's all!

Share your thoughts and advice!

In the meantime, I'll work on Vox's different looks and maybe give his older looks a larger chest. (Since older tvs were heavy, and I think Vox would need a strong shoulder to even support his face/screen lol).

[figofswords]

please share your battinson thoughts! i am no thoughts head empty except for a large neon sign that says GIVE HIM A ROBIN but i would love to hear what others think.

OK YOU ASKED FOR IT

SO. first up, robin:

-thematically speaking, including a robin ties in well with the first movie's conclusion that what gotham needs is someone to bring hope, not exact vengeance. in batman lore robin serves as the light to batman's darkness, balancing him out and causing him to be kinder, happier, and overall better. batman improves when he has a robin with him. if batman is going to become a beacon of hope, he's going to need a robin.

-other major themes in the first movie include: fathers and sons/legacy, orphans (especially what happens to those orphans who are forgotten, as the riddler drives home), and social issues such as governmental corruption. these all support a robin in the sequel, the first two for obvious reasons and the last because both dick grayson and jason todd become robin as a result of being victims of such issues (dick's parents being murdered as collateral damage in mob violence, jason's childhood in crime alley and time on gotham's streets after his parents' death)

-one of the main inspirations for the batman’s plot is batman: the long halloween. the sequel to this comic, batman: dark victory, features the introduction of dick grayson as bruce's ward and as robin. robin: year one follows directly from the plot of dark victory and is one my favorite robin comics.

dick grayson:

-the og! most adaptations, when choosing one robin to use, go with dick because he was the robin originator and held the role from 1940-1984 in terms of comic publication. this makes him the longest-running robin and the most obvious choice.

-as mentioned, dick's origins deal heavily with mob violence, in particular tony zucco. in batman: dark victory (see above), zucco works for sal maroni. if you'll remember, maroni is kind of a major recurring plot point in the batman.

-dick is the og batman foil. he cracks jokes where batman is silent. he dresses in bright colors and takes to fighting like it's a performance rather than clinging to the shadows. if the point is to bring a light to batman, dick is a stronger choice than jason due to jason's anger and darker approach to being robin. that said, dick is often viewed as being very light-hearted and sometimes even silly to the point where people are concerned he wouldn't mesh well with the darker, grittier tones of live-action batman adaptations, but in truth dick has plenty of grit. recently orphaned, newly adopted dick grayson is a little edgelord, all sneaking out at night to track down his parents' killers and yelling at batman when he intervenes, so i think he would mesh just fine.

jason todd:

-if batman's going to focus more on social injustices towards the invisible people of the city, jason is our man. in particular, the recurring plot points about "drop" trade happening in gotham in the batman would tie in well to jason's repeated encounters with drug trade in the comics (his mother being an addict, his anger towards drug dealers when he comes back as the red hood, etc. jason v drug trade is a whole Thing)

-i think it would be interesting if that joker gang kid at the start of the movie turned out to be jason because jason's story is obviously very intertwined with the joker. this would be an alteration to his backstory but i think this kid trying to get away from this gang because he doesn't really want to be a part of this and then ending up getting taken under batman's wing could be really cool to see, especially if that kid is jason. it would explain his anger towards the joker in a way that doesn't necessitate his death and could set up that connection with red hood, joker's former alias. also! joker gang kid is played by jay lycurgo, who plays tim drake in the titans live action tv show. I haven’t seen the titans tv show bc I heard it’s bad but this feels on-purpose.

-jason lore is important to batman: hush. more on hush in a sec but i'm curious how they'd do that plot line without having pre-established a death in the family lore. if jason's in the second movie, maybe hush is the third movie? idk but it's one reason i could see them using jason instead of dick

-this isn't evidence but please imagine battinson going back to his car to find the wheels stolen. that would be funny as shit. i 100% believe this version of batman would look at the kid who stole his tires, flashback to riddler mocking him about orphans, and be like yes. the reasonable decision here is to adopt this child.

hush:

-during the riddler's video "exposing" the waynes we learn about a journalist by the name of edward elliot (I think?? I might be misremembering the edward part but it was definitely something elliot). the video talks about hush money and the word "hush" is written across a photograph of the journalist. in batman: hush, hush is revealed to be one thomas elliot. there's no fucking way this is a coincidence.

-near the end of batman: hush it's revealed that the real mastermind behind everything was the riddler. "gotham loves a comeback story". hi hello

two-face:

-the long halloween is a retelling of two-face's origins. i'm not actually sure why they made riddler the antagonist but i could see them putting two-face in later movies.

-gotham is going to need a new DA. what if it was great upstanding man harvey dent :))) i'm sure nothing bad will happen with him

clayface:

-if they're doing batman: hush they need clayface. they could probably work around this actually but like. in the comics clayface is a big part of it. that's my entire reasoning

barbara gordon:

-please

-if there's a robin that means babs is already Around. gordon could easily name-drop her. gordon could be having marriage issues with barbara senior over him being a workaholic, as seen in the comics. he could deal with this while also dealing with plot. bring your daughter to work day!

-please

aaaaand that's all for now thanks for listening i gotta do homework and go to sleep but these are my most current conspiracy theories about the batman so glad you asked have a good night

[americangirlstar]

Very bored and JAKKS is doing a product preview on April 1 so. Predictions for the second wave of Disney ILY dolls

Next wave of dolls will be: Tiana, Rapunzel, Moana, Belle, Snow White. Belle and Snow were promised as upcoming characters so I believe they’ll be getting dolls. The other three have packs already; Moana and Jasmine are a tossup between each other but Moana is Disney’s current cashcow so I think she’s a definite. Rapunzel has several sets so she’s getting in. Tiana is getting in because she’s Tiana.

Other dolls I would not be surprised to replace one of the above: an Anna doll, meant to serve as a sister to the Elsa doll, or a Daisy Duck doll to go with the Minnie.

Slightly less excited expectation: as we’re getting two characters of color, there’s gonna be discourse over the dolls. The previous five dolls were designed specifically to not look like their OG (ariel being blonde, tink being east asian with long dark hair, etc). I seriously doubt Disney would not let Tiana be black bc that backlash would be immediate but Moana is gonna be tricky. Honestly my expectation is that Tiana will have a cool natural black hairstyle and maybe different eye color– maybe green as a shoutout to the frog? God only knows what Moana will look like but fingers crossed!!

If there is a Jasmine doll I would KILL for her to come in a hijab.

Packs for Raya at the very least. I don’t think they would have had time to make Encanto or Turning Red packs before knowing those movies would be a hit, and while it’s possible we’ll get a Meilin or Mirabel pack, I feel like that would be more likely wave three. Raya was expected to succeed (and did) so we’re getting at least a pack for her, maybe one for Sisu.

More packs for Mickey-centric characters; it’s Disney’s icon, I fully expect at least a Daisy pack.

I’m expecting more Disney Princess packs as well: with Belle and Snow promised, we’re missing Aurora, Pocahontas, Mulan, Mérida and obviously Raya and Mirabel. I would ADORE if Aurora and Snow got pajama packs (maybe also Giselle?)

Cinderella and Tinker Bell have dolls but no packs, so I expect those two to get packs asap. Esp since the new Peter Pan is dropping this year, they’re gonna wanna market the shit outta Tink.

Fully expect an Alice pack at some point. I also see definite probability for Toy Story packs, themed around Jessie and girlboss Bo Peep. Can also see them slipping in a Judy Hopps pack at some point

We got two Very Deluxe™ packs last drop and a huge accessory (Minnie’s car); I feel like we’ll get those too. My guess is one of the Deluxe Packs will be Raya-themed, the other will be Daisy (if they use her) or one of the other princesses they’ve utilized. The big accessory prob won’t be another car but if it is I’d love a Vanellope-inspired one

Now. Those are my predictions, here are things I would LIKE but don’t think would happen, at least not this soon:

Rare Disney ladies getting packs. Maid Marian, Giselle, Melody, ESMERALDA, Nala, Lady, Kida, Megara, Vanellope, Duchess and Marie, Mary Poppins... when Encanto stuff drops I DEMAND a tie-dye set for Isabela and some kind of Dolores and/or Luisa set. Big Hero 6 packs would also be cool as shit

Some VERY rare girls I would love to see: Kiara, Miss Bianca and Penny, Jenny Foxworth and Rita/Georgette, Eilonwy, Olivia Flaversham, Spring Sprite

Jane Porter is unlikely bc Disney ran into copyright issues with her but a lil jungle explorer kit would be cute

oh my goooood could you imagine like. a babysitting pack themed around Kanga

I would DIE for a halloween set based around Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. The Stitch set also proves they’re not limited to inspo from women so we could even have a Jack set to match!

I don’t see them doing TV shows but God I wish they would. I want Elena and Cassandra and Webby and LUZ AND AMITY AND ANNE AND

KAIRI SET PLEASE

this probably won’t happen but villain sets would be super cool. can you imagine the fashion that a cruella or ursula set would bring

if they try to slip in marvel/star wars packs i will kill them

so. what about y’all

[rai-knightshade]

I posted 23,545 times in 2021

16 posts created (0%)

23529 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1470.6 posts.

I added 777 tags in 2021

#zelink - 306 posts

#macdalton - 111 posts

#shirbert - 92 posts

#eurovision - 65 posts

#self reblog - 62 posts

#alexander rybak - 41 posts

#yes - 29 posts

#zelda my beloved - 26 posts

#🥺🥺🥺 - 23 posts

#yeah - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#scottish people landing in nova scotia and naming it that because it reminded them of home 🥺🥺 they had no idea!!! how right they were!!!

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Random love: ❤️❤️❤️

What’s your favourite fluffy MacDalton headcanon?

*brain goes blank like a blue screened computer* uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh.......

Oh!

Headcanon: Mac tinkers a lot on their off days, doing stuff that would confuse even a moderate science enthusiast let alone Jack, so Jack usually just leaves him be for hours on end until he finally goes looking for him at bed time and finds Mac sprawled across whatever, dead asleep, so Jack usually picks him up bridal style and gets Mac back in bed for some proper sleep!

3 notes • Posted 2021-07-26 12:31:37 GMT

#4

4, 18 👀

Oh thank you! I never get asks so this is a treat 😂

4. A song that didn't qualify for the final but should have:

Alekseev, Forever, Belarus 2018 (it was good!! I'm sad!!!)

18. A song that qualified for the final but shouldn't have:

Uhhhh ok imma be real with you chief you probably should've led with the question about "first eurovision watched" because the answer to that is... 2019. Sort of. I got to see who won 😂 so my knowledge of the contest is limited to 2009, 2018, sort of 2019, 2020, and now 2021, with some random winners/straight bops thrown in from other years. All that is to say... I don't have one 😅 there's no song that comes to mind that I've actively listened to that makes me think "god how did this even get here". (Though that may change for this year, stay tuned.)

Ask me about eurovision and I'll try to answer

3 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 14:08:57 GMT

#3

Tumblr tag game

Tagged by @azurelacrima , thanks!!!!

Gender: Female

Star sign: Gemini

Height: 5'5" (just average 😅)

Time: by the time I get this posted it'll probably be 6pm/18:00

Favorite Bands: Pink Floyd, Def Leppard, Foreigner, KEiiNO, Maroon V but not super hardcore, ABBA, LOONA but it's still low level, Computer Games

Solo Artists: this is a hot take but I'm putting Panic! At the Disco here cause one man does not a band make, Alexander Rybak, TSwift but not Swifty level ya know?, Katy Perry but mostly just her og classics, Elvis

Following: 1380 (a solid chunk of which probably are not active)

Followers: 441 on my main, though @rai-knightshade-art only has 51. V small blogs 😅

Last Show Binged: Macgyver when I went through all of season 1 and the first few episodes of 2, like, a year ago or something. ...I don't watch tv much 😂

When did I create this blog?: 2013 I think, I'm an oldie

Last thing googled: Dala Horses, cause I was decorating Dala Horse cookies and wanted to try to get the icing to look like the paint!

Why I chose this URL: it's been my internet handle since I created Rai the character in 2013, keeps everything consistent under the pseudonym

Hours of sleep: idk depends on the night. 8-10ish is the goal usually, tho?

Lucky Number: 8!

Instruments: played the flute for about 9 years but haven't picked it up in about 4, and I own a Kalimba now!

Favorite food: tortellini! Usually in a red sauce, tho I've tested it in others (red is best)

Favorite song: uhhhhh like right now? All time? From different eras? Fuck it in answering all those questions.

Childhood favorite: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Teen/Early College favorite: Stressed Out by Twenty Øne Piløts

Pandemic rediscovered favorites: tie between Hey You by Pink Floyd and Europe's Skies by Alexander Rybak

Current favorite: toss up between Monument by KEiiNO and Strela Amura by Alexander Rybak, tho his new collab with Sirusho, Stay, is becoming a new fave

Dream Trip: I've got a few in mind, mainly a tour of Europe (especially the Nordics + the UK) and New Zealand

Dream Job: ideally irl I wanna be a head web designer somewhere, but if I could do anything ever I'd be, like, someone that's just paid to travel the world and experience new stuff and maybe draw it. That would be so cool

Nationality: U.S. American, specifically Kansas!

Tagging: @panchostokes @impossiblepluto @thesammykinz and anyone else who wants to give it a go!

3 notes • Posted 2021-02-15 00:11:39 GMT

#2

Tagged by Ezra aka @thesorrowoflizards , thanks my dude! "You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs then tag 10 people! no skipping!"

Aiight, let's see.... Probably shouldn't use the one-artist-only playlist huh? 😂 Let's go with my Lovecore Playlist instead:

1. Cold Hearted (Glee Cast Version)

2. Danse for Trærne (Dancing for the Trees), Alexander Rybak (lovecore includes all forms of love, actually, including friendship)

3. La Vie En Rose (Single Version), Louis Armstrong

4. You Can't Hurry Love, The Supremes

5. A Winter's Night, KEiiNO

6. Is This Love (2018 Remaster), Whitesnake

7. Once Upon a Dream (from Disney's Sleeping Beauty)

8. I'm a Believer (Soundtrack Version), Smash Mouth

9. Rainbow Connection (from The Muppet Movie)

10. Say You Won't Let Go, James Arthur

My taste is.... Eclectic, shall we say 😂 the unifying connector though? Lovecore 😍😍 (and violins 🎻)

Tagging: @parttimetrickster , @beautiful-flutey , @lord-owlsnake , @thesammykinz , @panchostokes , @deanbennyforthewin , @telltaleclerk and anyone else who'd like to do this!

4 notes • Posted 2021-02-21 15:56:26 GMT

#1

Tumblr Catch Up! Thanks for tagging me @mojsvijet!

Rules: answer the questions and tag the nine people you wanna catch up with!

Last Song I Listened To: technically I'm still listening to it but I've had it on loop for a bit so still counts. It's Looking My Way by Alexander Rybak and Philip Cecil

Last Film? Sonic the Hedgehog. Yes, really. It was fun! Not stellar, but it was good clean fun

Show I'm Watching: ostensibly Macgyver but I haven't actually watched a full episode since last summer soooooo none? None I don't watch tv nearly enough

Book I'm Reading: I haven't read a book in years 😅😅 I suck at this catch up I'm sorry

Tagging: @panchostokes @thesammykinz @dont-stop-believin-in-klaine @thesorrowoflizards @telltaleclerk @lavendersblues @thethistlegirl @impossiblepluto @deanbennyforthewin @spiritsontheroof please be marginally better at this than I am djsjfkskdkd

5 notes • Posted 2021-01-10 06:55:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[inkdemon-whore]

oh yeah, i forgot to show off my closet bed. i was gonna make a vid but uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh fuck that

anyway, for new ppl, i sleep on the floor cuz it's good for my back, that n gettin up n down a lot, i can only assume, is good for my joints

i'm an old man

anyway here's pics. if ya'll wanna see anything up close let me know :V

bed (that really needs the sheets washed)

wii, og xbox, ps1, junk, clothes, and some plushies n shit, all shoved in what was once shelves for cloth drawers, which is now falling apart, being held together with a yoga band and a smily face tie, has a surge protector behind all of it, and was an absolute bitch getting it in so i am not removing it

tv and a better look at the ps1 n stuff around it

the top """""""shelf"""""""", which is just an old folding laptop table, squished into place, and only actually STAYING THERE BECAUSE OF THE BLANKET WALL (blanket wall is there for sound proofing). it's got my 1st edition lucas the spider plush, a nes box i got off etsy, a lil pokemon worship thing with a red figure i got myself one year, other junk all behind that, and my earings/braclets in their own containers. that poster on the side is metal by the way, and says "hoffman house whiskey". it's vintage :3

here's the wall of the closet, that bear head i got off offer up i think, it just holds shit like remotes n stuff. i got a tomagotchi, and beside it, 2 pokemon key cap lights (i love them, but have no idea what to do with em anymore, so i show them :3). there's a white board (i have no markers for it), a calendar, magnets, sticky notes, another metal poster, this on saying "pepsi-cola", and is from the same place i got the hoffman one. a pocket watch that i actually wear sometimes, one of those push lights, a fanny pack i wanted to turn into an ita bag, and a fanny pack i DID turn into an ita bag of guzma from pokemon. the tarp is from wish and i can smell the pixles.

aaaannnnd hats :) (and a miku expo fanny pack... and an ironing board.... and more stuff not shown)

[roughentumble]

I would like to hear.. your silence of the lambs series opinions......

series as in, the new clarice tv show that's out? haven't watched it yet. series as in, those old movies that feature anthony hopkins as hannibal lecter? surely!

fair warning, i probably dont have anything new to say that hasnt been said before, considering these are all long since classics, and my thoughts might be a little disjointed.

it's difficult to sum up opinions about it on the whole, since the movie quality honestly varies so wildly, and as i recall basically every single movie had a different director lol. also like, there's definitely a reason silence of the lambs stood out as The hannibal movie that got talked about and went into The Annals Of Film History n' all that. there's something about jodie foster's performance that's particularly electric(though that could be nostalgia talking, i suppose)

the opportunities she had, as an actress, to really show emotion on her face, like the claustrophobic close-ups we got were really intimate and interesting, added to the sense we were getting into her head. that HANNIBAL was getting into her head. i've already used the word intimate, but really, the long drawn out conversations/monologues between her and hannibal are just that-- intimate. you have to have stellar performances to pull off that much dialogue, and shots that intensely focused, where a face takes up so much of the screen. but it works! because hopkins and foster are fantastic actors, and jonathen demme is a good director.

there's a reason a lot of people didn't like the switch to julianne moore, and i would say it isnt entirely moore's fault. ridley scott, for one, is simply a different director with different ideas of shot composition, which changes how the character feels pretty drastically when the style so heavily informed your feelings for her. but also, in general, the film just kind of approaches clarice from a different angle, which is pretty bumpy territory to go into on the tail of switching your lead actress. not only is moore just really different from foster, but we've gone from this kind of invasive intimacy with hannibal probing her in confined spaces, to her being on the chase. in particular what sticks out to me is a chase sequence where she's trying to find hannibal in a crowded mall.(i think it was a mall?? its been a minute since i last watched the film haha) despite how the crowd might lead to a sense of claustrophobia, these are wide open shots with lots of spinning and movement, no time for introspective face journies. it's a chase in a totally different sense than before, and that i think is major difference in tone. which isn't to say it's a bad choice, or a loss, or that it's worse, just that it's fundamentally very different material that moore was given fo work with. of course her performance differed from fosters!

i still think jodie foster did it better, but some folks were too hard on julianne moore. if anything, hold beef with the writers and new director for pivoting tonally(although, dont do that either, i think it was an interesting shift. the scene with her and hannibal, where hannibal fries up that dude's brain was SO GOOD, i loved loved loved the return to a twisted sense of intimacy for that scene, and a few others, and that sense of return wouldn't have hit the same were the whole movie to follow the same tone as demme's work.)

also quick sidebar, when i watched hannibal(the movie from 2001) i was BLOWN AWAY by realizing, in retrospect, just how absolutely perfectly micheal pitt nailed the role of mason verger in hannibal(the tv show). vocally, he sounded almost identicle to the og performance, WHAT!!! major props, i love micheal pitt. so cool

manhunter 1987 or whatever year it came out is garbage and we dont talk about it. it was physically painful to watch. my poor mother made us stop watching hannibal movies for the rest of the day because it literally put her in physical pain. it's so 80s i want to vomit. do not recommend.

red dragon was pretty good, and if you entered the series of films armed only with knowledge of hannibal nbc, gave some really fascinating context to some of the events therein. edward norton's performance was fine-- didn't blow my mind, but i do love to watch him on screen. anthony hopkins' portrayal of a free hannibal, on the run, who still can't help but taunt the police and stick his nose into investigations was shockingly compelling, despite how much of a cliche trope that's become in recent years. can't say i recall anything interesting to say about the directing, but it certainly doesnt hold the same intimacy of the previous films-- but then again, we've lost the intimate character of clarice, swapping her out for graham(who simply isnt as close, or interesting, or compelling, when he isnt on nbc and shaking like a wet chihuahua)

hannibal rising, the last film in the series, was very very very bad. BUT, unlike manhunter 198whatever, it managed to be fun about it! lots of very goofy deaths and things to make you roll your eyes, stupid character motivations and odd acting choices. but it seems aware, on some level, that it's the last and the silliest of the entries into this particular film series, which earns it some good will. whether or not its worth a watch comes down to how much you're willing to consume everything with the name hannibal on it, and whether you can abide by a hannibal that isnt played by sir anthony hopkins.

OK. ok. we're getting to the end of my thoughts here, kids. i prommy.

it's also, despite every single part of it that i enjoy and that brings me joy, almost unforgivably racist and transphobic. the weird exotification and obsession with asia(and japan in particular), especially when none of those elements felt important or relevant to the story was consistently shocking, and consistently present in essentially every single hannibal movie, ESPECIALLY ones that dealt with his childhood. it didn't ever feel like a natural part of the story, where they happened include people from another culture or anything, it felt like the author's fetish. i never truly understood how these reoccuring themes and symbols were meant to tie in with the rest of the story, even after an entire film set in the past, showiing hannibal's childhood and how he came to live with a japanese woman. it was weird! it was uncomfortable! it was bad! even hannibal nbc couldnt make it not weird. i'd love a hannibal movie with a japanese person in it who WASNT treated really, really, really weird. but i dont think i will ever get that.

and like. wrt transphobia-- do i even need to say it? buffalo bill's been talked to death. we all know the issue there.

if a japanese person, or a trans woman, came to me and said "shawn, everyone says its a classic, but i cant bring myself to watch [insert hannibal movie here]" i would not blame them. it isnt the whole movie, but its enough to feel real bad, scoob.

its not enough to make me fall out of love with silence of the lambs, or hate hannibal(the film, god thats a confusing name), or even hate the film series, but its something that deserves tl be talked about. i've heard lots of discussion on the transphobia, but basically none on the racism, which is a real shame. sometimes it feels like no one else even noticed it, and it really leaves me floundering, because its like-- its RIGHT THERE and its so weird and bad. thomas harris, what the fuck

OKAY I THINK THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS FOR NOW?????? i could maybe come up with more, *shrugs*, but i'd need more time at least.

summary:: very problematic, and not because he eats people. but overall some of the films are fantastic, and silence of the lambs does hold a special place in my heart. and even if i didnt like it nearly as much, i'll defend hannibal(the film with julianne moore) till im blue in the face, because even if it didnt quite capture lightening in a bottle it still brought some interesting things to the table. decent enough movie series with enough variation in film tone and quality to make watching them all in a row enjoyable, because it keeps things from getting stale. (could probably have done with SOME consistency tho, lol, they were really flying by the seat of their pants. they had hopkins and that was IT, only thing that carried over from production to production lol)

[sticksmustdie]

for the ask thing: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, ,9 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 2-0, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58 , 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99. 100 >:))) <3

>:00 EVIL!! 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 

is your room messy or clean? clean

what color are your eyes? brown

do you like your name? why? yes, because it’s not my deadname lol

what is your relationship status? single 

describe your personality in 3 words or less. stolen from MCR

what color hair do you have? natural black hair but 90% of it is red rn 

what kind of car do you drive? color? don’t drive yet but permit test soon

where do you shop? HTTP and Savers 

how would you describe your style? casual punk? 

favorite social media account daily monkey dance on twt 

what size bed do you have?  twin 

any siblings?  a brother 

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? idk japan?

favorite snapchat filter? i don't use snapchat a lot kdfkd (the ravioli one)

favorite makeup brand(s) I don't use makeup 

how many times a week do you shower? uh fuck idk its quarantine 3-4?? i don't count

favorite tv show? umbrella academy is p good, also end of the f**king world

shoe size? 9

how tall are you? 5′6

sandals or sneakers? yes

do you go to the gym? hahahaha no

describe your dream date going to a concert would be cool but id like it to be more chill like a sunset picnic then casual shopping/thrifting

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? like 6 bucks lol i went thrifting got a the cure cd and a misfits shirt Score!

what color socks are you wearing? I'm not wearing socks rn >:D

how many pillows do you sleep with? one

do you have a job? what do you do? no job

how many friends do you have? uuuh irl 10ish? and internet friends like 5?

whats the worst thing you have ever done? get suspended lol 

whats your favorite candle scent? pumpkin spice/wood smell?? 

3 favorite boy names [insert MCR member’s names]

3 favorite girl names hayley, jolyne, Melody 

favorite actor? don't really have one

favorite actress? don't really have one

who is your celebrity crush? Winona ryder 

favorite movie? velocipastor 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i read a lot of fanfic does that count lol 

money or brains? brains bc then you can make money

do you have a nickname? what is it? fe/ghoul 

how many times have you been to the hospital? like 3

top 10 favorite songs 

do you take any medications daily? nope

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) soft???? idk how to answer that

what is your biggest fear? losing friends/connections

how many kids do you want? i hate kids, none

whats your go to hair style? i like to tie my hair into a shitty mullet

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) decent sized?? bad question next

who is your role model? my ap psych teacher he’s so cool and wholesome

what was the last compliment you received? one of my friends saying they fucking loved me bc i was mocking mcr’s new merch

what was the last text you sent? “okay hair rinse time�� was redying my hair

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i never believed in Santa to begin with so 0???

what is your dream car? mmm hearse or Pontiac firebird trans am 

opinion on smoking? dont please 

do you go to college? next year i will be

what is your dream job? something art based and sustainable 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs just for easy access to groceries etc

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? who doesn't?

do you have freckles?  nope

do you smile for pictures? depends 

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 22 to keep track of my hair eras

have you ever peed in the woods? jskkdfd no??

do you still watch cartoons? yes I'm rewatching winx rn lmfao 

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McD chicken nuggies

Favorite dipping sauce?  BBQ or the chickfila og sauce

what do you wear to bed? oversized band shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? nope

what are your hobbies? drawing, listening to music, reading fanfiction

can you draw? yes?

do you play an instrument? guitar, badly 

what was the last concert you saw? i’ve never been to one :/ was going to go see MCR but uh yknow

tea or coffee? both

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks

do you want to get married? sure why not, ill do it for the benefits

what is your crush’s first and last initial? not crushing on anyone for now

are you going to change your last name when you get married? sure why not

what color looks best on you? black and red bc it compliments my hair

do you miss anyone right now? not really

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? not really, i’d be cool if they were real tho

what is your biggest pet peeve? when people just spam you with pictures with no context and expect you to reply??

last person you called classmates for a group project

favorite ice cream flavor? oh i love mint chip 

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular ones

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate 

what shirt are you wearing? overzied misfits shirt 

what is your phone background?  red and blue from dd national anthem

are you outgoing or shy? i think I'm outgoing

do you like it when people play with your hair? depends on the person but most of the time no 

do you like your neighbors? they're chill 

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? when i shower kjdsfkdf

have you ever been high? nope

have you ever been drunk? nope I'm allergic to alcohol lol 

last thing you ate? soup

favorite lyrics right now oh how wrong we were to think that immortality meant never dying 

summer or winter? fall 

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? oh dark chocolate 100%

favorite month? october and november

what is your zodiac sign Scorpio 

who was the last person you cried in front of? haha my whole family 

[soul-heart-and-beyond]

((DuckTales [Give me a Series & I'll tell you...]))

Give me a Series & I’ll tell you…

(I’ll do both versions just so that can get set out of the way for later!)

DuckTales 1987

❤ Favorite Male: Okay, this might come as a surprise, but the one for this spot is Fenton Crackshell. He’s actually what got me into DuckTales as a series to be honest. Originally, I used to stay away from DuckTales because I thought it would be too silly, but my introduction was during Fenton’s five part tv movie, and then from there on I gave DT and ducks in general a shot. There’s nothing wrong with silly as long as you can add some special charm to it!❤ Favorite Female: It’s kind of hard to say since I haven’t seen all of the episodes of DT87 yet, but from the ones I have seen, Magica de Spell would take this spot. She’s pretty entertaining and doesn’t get as much credit as she should. Is she how I like witches and sorceresses to be? Somewhat, but that doesn’t keep her from being good either.❤ Favorite Pairing: In canon, DT87 doesn’t really have that many, which makes it hard to say the one I like the most, but for one that has good potential is Fenton and Gandra Dee. They had some moments and a few episodes centered or at least touching that, but I feel more could have been done with it. Somewhat knowing that there was supposed to be a Gizmoduck show that got turned down and the same with Justice Ducks, kinda felt like a let down since those two could have been great opportunities past DT87.❤ Least Favorite Character: I’m certain most of the people who do this would say Bubba or Webby (I have yet to see Bubba’s episodes and Webby is a good character, there’s more to her than what one might think first time watching.), so I guess it’d be….M.E.L., but that’s because the last portion or episode of Super DuckTales introduced him out of nowhere to give Fenton a foil and a win for him as himself. Nothing wrong with that, but M.E.L. and the whole robot planet wasn’t alluded to before the ending of the fourth episode so… Just exists…❤ who’s most like me: Hate to say this, but Fenton seems to be the one for this spot. How he tries his hardest to do right and under the conditions he has to put up with, but also learn from his mistakes and understand that consequences do exist, is all to similar to me. While I don’t have as much of a focus on being a special someone at the moment, I can also overthink things a bit. However I’m not vocal about it, and I do tend to be more modest than him too.❤ most attractive: Hm… I can’t really say, but it’s obviously Fenton or Filler Brushbill, I can’t say who either, it’s just in between.❤ three more characters that I like: Duckworth for sure being the cool butler that he is. That dog certainly has to put up with a lot, but he has enough heart to do it and tries his best to keep things in line or at least clean. Filler Brushbill’s another good one. I really wish he’d gotten more time on the show than his one episode, because he seemed fun enough for another appearance and had some potential to provide for another interesting story between him, Scrooge, and Louie. Lastly would be Flintheart Glomgold. Despite some of the John D. Rockerduck qualities they gave him, he was really fun as a rival and got his job done well. Would’ve been great to see some more of him as there’s nothing wrong with having an entertaining rival.

DuckTales 2017

❤ Favorite Male: Oof, this one’s tough, especially since the cast has expanded since season 1 and in the process, there are more characters from the comics and other shows of the Disney Afternoon series to choose from. Really, it’s a tie between Jim Starling, John D. Rockerduck, and Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera (I swear, I need to stop bringing up that boi.) It’s so hard because Jim is well introduced in his episode, and I actually had no problems with him whatsoever (And kinda gave me a little bit of fondness for OG Drake. Though Jim has a reason to be himself while Drake just, is.), though John is my favorite comic book character, and while he didn’t do much in his debut episode (…outside of get wrecked….), I have some hope for him in season 3. Fenton this time around has more potential for multitude of routes to go with his character, and given how more action oriented the series seems to be, it might make some great moments to compare him to Darkwing. To get that glimpse of mutual respect for the other as they have the same goal in mind, or maybe, and just have different means to it. 

❤ Favorite Female: Tied between Magica de Spell and Ma Beagle. Magica does appear when the show gets into it’s more darker and horror centered moments (Which I love because, she doesn’t really hold back. Those moments with Lena especially were great. Loved it for how otherworldly evil it got. She has no reason to be soft, so why should she go soft? However, she can get talky, and I still like Morgan le Fey as best sorceress.), and Ma, why she’s the only real competent villain to appear before Jim and Lunaris. Barely takes any nonsense, and seems to have a good grip on the criminal underworld. I can take pleasure in that.

❤ Favorite Pairing: I’ll warn all that read this that DT17′s gotten into canon and non canon ship territory, so I’ll just address both right now.. So canon is probably gonna be Fendra (Fenton x Gandra) again, since it seems like this might elevate them more into what I was wanting from DT87. Maybe not the same way, but it is more than what they got in the original series, or at least it seems to be. Non canon ship would probably be Fenthy (Fenton x Fethry, I promise you not all of the ships I like have Fenton in them!). Launchworth (Launchpad x Duckworth) is really good too! I like both ships, though for some reason I always find myself going back to canon continuity, and Fenthry seems more possible, and the comic that paired the two together helps too. They just come off as more compatible with each other than some other characters. Sure, they might get in some disputes or have problems come along, but they can work through it better than some others. Plus it might seem pretty cool for a Gizmoduck and Red Bat team up…

❤ Least Favorite Character: This one is really hard because there are a lot of characters in the show that I like, and while they may do some terrible or stupid things out of a joke or forced or just unexplained methods, I can’t really say I have a least favorite. Perhaps most people would say this spot goes to Doofus for his radical shift in character from the original (which only reverses some things like now people might not like him instead of Bubba or something. I’d say my least favorite is. ..    Gyro Gearloose? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate him, and he has some really good laughs out of me, but throughout the show so far he has done some good things, and a plenty of bad things. Let’s just say he’s got room for improvement.

❤ who’s most like me: Dewey, but also Huey. I’m pretty much in between them.

❤ most attractive: Hm..... Either Duckworth, Gyro, John D. Rockerduck or Goldie O’Gilt. 

❤ three more characters that I like: Black Arts Beagle, a pretty fun character who could be the exception to his family, or not, who knows? Marshall Cabrera, yeah, that sheriff that might not get referenced past that one Wild West episode ever again, he’s pretty cool! And I gotta give the last one to that one girl that’s had so much of a hard time, wasn’t born, and still trying to do right by her relatives’ mistakes, Lena de Strange/Spell.

[han-jiji]

•••

*gif used is not mine, all credit goes to the og poster!!*

Member: Bang Chan

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Hanahaki

Word Count: 1.4k

He first noticed you at 13.

You were the prettiest one in the building in his eyes. A new student, you tried to make as many friends as you could. That alone made Chan smile. But when you came over and introduced yourself with the widest smile, eyes crinkling with how fierce it was... he couldn’t help it. A crush started to bloom like the flowers in spring, gently and softly. It took all he had to shake your hand and breath out his name.

When you were 15, you were over at chans almost every day. Your parents had became best friends, and most nights you were found at each other’s houses, eating dinner and watching tv. Most days, he would come home from school and find you sitting on his couch already. Not that he minded of course, you were his closest friend, and you knew not to touch his secret stash of sweets hidden in the box beneath his bed.

Often, you two lay at opposite ends of the beds, your feet at the others head. Neither of you minded unless the other had pe that day and stunk up the place. Rare, but not foreign to you two.

At 17, he took you to prom. You had no interest in any of the guys in your school, all of them far too Player-like for your liking. Even Minho- Chans friend, had asked you to prom and you almost said yes until you saw him look behind you at Susie and her low cut top. You tried your hardest not to slap him and denied him before turning away to walk to Chan.

He had been thinking of asking you but was too scared of what you would think about it. He would be lying to himself if he didn’t notice how cute you were when you smiled, how your teeth were slightly crooked but you didn’t care about it, you were proud of them. Your eyes crinkled as you walked over, and your smile was enough to make Chan focus on you, and you alone.

“Chan, I don’t like Minho, he’s a dickhead and I never wanna see him again,” you sighed before dramatically falling into your chair. His laugh was booming, and he shook you until you looked up.

“Y/N.... do you wanna go to prom with me? Nobody else will go with me, and the way you’re talking about Minho.... I guess it didn’t go well?” Chan looked at you, still smiling even though his heart was about to beat out of his chest. You looked at him, and you were so thankful for him. You agreed, and then started planning your outfits. The most you cared about was the colour of the dress and tie situation- it didn’t even have to be a tie, Chan could show up wearing goddamn coloured sweatpants for all you cared, and you would still go with him.

Chan offered to take you dress shopping but that boy had the fashion sense of a penguin with a mismatching tux, and you wanted to dress up for once. You went with your friend BamBam instead, he was helping Chan with his tux and knew what kinda dress would suit your body shape. Bam the fashionista threw clothes in your arms before telling you to try them on, and then walked to the seats in the changing rooms, waiting for you. You agreed, and Bam barely looked up from his phone as he denied dress after dress, saying they were too slim, to short or too long, too baggy etc. It was the 5th dress you’d tried on, and if he said no to this one then you were going to leave. This time Bam looked up for over a minute before smiling and saying this was the one, to leave the other 4 and buy this one. You rolled your eyes at how dramatic he was, but agreed and bought the dress yourself despite Bam saying endlessly that he would pay. He bought you the shoes of course, he had to provide you with something for your big day.

Two months later, it was prom. Chan had arrived at your house a few minutes ago, but you were too scared to go down and meet him, after all, this was prom and who knows if he would be as excited as you. Your mother dragged you downstairs and shoved you next to him, forcing you to take picture after picture.

Chan was giddy and complimented you again and again on how you looked and how your hair was perfect and your eyes were stunning. You thanked him over and over and his eyes saw only you and your smile and your beauty.

Your beauty. You’re beautiful. You felt stunning with how everyone complimented you, none more so than Chan.

Your beauty. His mind was always on you and how you couldn’t be any more perfect than you were that night.

At 17, Chan got his first flower. It was the night after prom, and he was curled next to his toilet on the cold tile floor. The tiles chilled his skull until he felt like it would shatter into a million pieces and there wouldn’t be enough to put him back together but he kept his skull flush to the floor, begging to feel something other than the ache in his throat and the blood in his lungs.

For hours, he lay with his shattered skull and bloody lungs until he coughed up the petals and thorns for the first time and he ran screaming from the toilet, away from the bitter fucking truth that he loved you and you didn’t feel the same about him. Maybe you never would. Maybe it would be easier for him to stop the pain now rather than let the flowers bloom in his lungs and blossom from his lips every damn night.

But maybe you would love him back. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe.

At 20, Chan had a flower every night for you, a flower for every single love he held for you, for every type of love he held in his heart. He saved a petal from each flower and pressed them, hiding it from everyone but hoping that one day you could see the book.

Every day he saw you, you were smiling and laughing and happy and so fucking beautiful it hurt his heart and crawled up his throat with it's claws buried deep down, scraping his vocal chords and making him say “I’m fine, nothing hurts�� over and over and and over over over over-

The last time you saw Chan was when you were 21. He had a suit on for the second time since you knew him, and his face was peaceful and calm. It was natural causes the doctors said, extremely natural. The vases of flowers next to him said otherwise. The red for love, the blue for heartbreak. His mother, a kind calm woman, could barely look at you as you approached her, and snapped as you tried to hug her.

“It’s your fault! It’s your fucking fault!! If you loved him, he would still be here.” She yelled, crying as she searched your face for any signs of guilt or remorse. She must have found something because she turned and left, going to find her husband among the crowd of people surrounding you, looking at you in shame and accusing you without knowing.

At 22, you were given his book.

Every page was a rainbow hidden by the ink of his lungs and the thorns of his heart, and you could feel every single one of them pierce your soul and burn your eyes.

“Aster // Symbolises love, trust”

“Pink and Red Carnations // Symbolises missing and admiring someone”

“Maybe one day I’ll get the last flower. The last thorn. They’ll stop ripping up my throat as they come up, every unmentioned ‘I Love You’ and every whispered ‘You look pretty today’. Maybe I won’t want to rip the roots out of my stomach and feel the pain stop. Maybe.”

At 22, you got your first flower. The first flower for a love lost, for a love too late to do anything about.

At 22, you felt the first thorn pierce your tongue and rip your gum until you were bleeding “I’m sorry’s” and “I miss you’s”.

At 22, you cried as you lay on the cold tile floor, shattering your skull into a million pieces and knowing nothing could put you back together again, there were too many pieces spread too thin to be repaired.

[xjmparrish]

Christmas Gifts 2017

Everyone receiving something from J this year is listed below in alphabetical order by first name. Each gift bundle has a handwritten card attached detailing just what is being given and well-wishes for the upcoming New Year. 

@skarsgardb @xolively @candicepat @cmmurrray @quirkymisscb @krispinot @clrholt @deltslea @bviewgron @levittjoe @sharnamayxo @shay-bright @drizztroi @tylerjbburn @chmerkval @zendayam @zoeydevtch 

Happy Holidays❤️

Bill,

Best friend. Here is my returning the gift of our hot chocolate bar, for when our schedules suck at matching, and a scarf to help you keep warm. I also may or may not have taken the chance to do something we’ve planned for months, and if the passport case isn’t a hint.. yes that is a plane ticket. I’m dragging you home to your motherland!  Thank you for being the bestest friend I made this year, love you lots!!

Merry Christmas - J

Blake,

My Monica to my Rachel, my Cristina to my Mer.. I hope you like the diaper bag! I figured #momneeds. Before you kill me for making you think I got the girls better gifts between Ines’s shoes and Jame’s food truck, I have to say, even if the diaper bag was empty you’d still love me, right? This Christmas I thought I’d take it upon myself to spoil you some. So aside from the baby bag, every momma bear needs black sunnies for those rough mornings, comfy slippers for lazy afternoons, a fancy robe and pj shorts for those nights you wanna feel a little special. It also wouldn’t be spoiling you without some jewelry, so some cute earrings and a watch will come in handy next time we go on a girl’s date. I also threw in some essential oils for fun. Last but not least, I know you love chocolate. So chocolate covered almonds it was! (You should probably share some with your hubby cause that one’s half his.. if you want.) So happy holidays my wife, nieces, and I guess you too Ryan.. LOL! 😜 I love you all! 

Merry Christmas - Janellybean

Candice,

My soul sister of sorts (the offer to marry is still on the table) , I had to spoil you just a bit after you suffered rooming with me on the trip. So a bracelet and some earrings to add to your wardrobe and just a little something extra to keep your life stylish. I hope you love it as much as I love you! 

Merry Christmas - Janel

Chad,

My favorite human (and your mini me). Needless to say, I didn’t know what to get you. Hopefully, in time I’ll learn how to shop. Naturally, the first thing I picked up was a bottle of Jack for those late nights. Then I decided I couldn’t go wrong with clothes and accessories. Two sweaters and a jacket to keep warm, hopefully you like them. (If not, I’ll totally get you new ones.) I’ve also learned that you try to rep the Bills just about anywhere, so a new snapback seemed perfect. It’s a good look on you  😜 Then I got you some sunnies last (you’ll be twinning with Jlo), figuring everyone could always use another pair. And for Jackson, I’m still learning on the kid front, so a stuffed animal is always a safe bet. So he gets a dinosaur, because what kid doesn’t like dinosaurs?  I might also secretly be hoping he learns a thing or two from me because I got him a little keyboard (you can hate me, just be happy it’s not drums) and lastly a collection of play-doh. It’s a right of passage for a kid. I promise, I’ll get better at this gift giving thing in the future. Thanks for making this holiday season just a little more special. 

Merry Christmas - Janelly 

Chloe,

For the bestest duet partner in the world, some boots, a red coat (I think I’m secretly turning you into A) and cute little ear muffs to keep you warm this winter! Thank you for making 2017 awesome, you deserve so much more. Love you pretty lady! 

Merry Christmas - Janel

Chris,

My favorite Chris (that’s still our secret), some items to keep you warm this season and a pair of sun glasses so that you stay looking cool everywhere you go. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and even better start off to the new year! 

Merry Christmas - Janel

Claire,

My favorite blondie from the land down under, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you but I thought now being in town together, I’d get you just a little something. So a scarf, beanie, and some sunnies seemed perfect. I couldn’t get over how cute the glasses were and had to get them, so I hope you get good use out of them. Love you!

Merry Christmas - Janel

Delta,

Pretty lady that I love so dearly, I hope you get good use of your gifts this coming year! A cute chunky sweater to keep warm, a little black cold shoulder lacy top for adding a little cute to layering, and some booties with a tie back. I hope you love them, and they’re just a little thank you for being one of the best people I’ve been fortunate enough to meet this year. Have a wonderful Christmas babes!

Merry Christmas - Janel 

Dianna,

Di, I saw this bag and thought of you so I had to get it. It might just be my love of the color red on you. So what better thing to include than a new red lipstick? And along with the lip trend, gloss is all the rage right now so a fresh tube could never hurt. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

Merry Christmas - that one random cheerleader from a decade ago (Janel)

JGL,

To the man who does it all and puts my workaholic nature to shame by a longshot, seeing as you’ll be heading off on travels for work I thought a backpack might come in handy to pack some stuff in. Maybe even instead of lugging around everything on your visits back to town, it could come in handy. And you’ve also got new shoes for the new year, which I really hope you like! Have a wonderful holiday! 

Merry Christmas - Janel 

Shar, 

Disney, disney, disney. The little mermaid and her baby get themed gifts this year. So for you Shar, sweats and a cute little backpack because you could never have too many. And for baby El, a little Minnie Mouse dress. I couldn’t help myself when I saw the backpack and that’s how this came about. Hope you love! 

Merry Christmas - J

Shay,

Shannon, my sister from another mister (and part time lover?) Nothing says Merry Christmas to you like furry jackets, and because you’re 200 times more stylish than me.. feel free to donate to Sammy if you don’t like. A faux fur hoodie, yes a hoodie, the best of both worlds, I think very Shan appropriate. The second coat is Mimi inspired, so you can live out your dreams nightly lip syncing to the RENT soundtrack in your living room. Lastly, not one but two sriracha key chains because nothing says Shay like bringing your own hot sauce anywhere. Kleo wanted to give Foxy and Angel some stuffed animals to play with too, so enjoy! Kisses from us to you! 

Merry Christmas - Janel & Klee

Troi,

My caffeine addicted hippie rocker big sis, nothing screamed your name at me more than this Coffee & Friends sign when I saw it, I just had to get it. I’ll personally build you a coffee bar to hang it over if I need to. A new mug to add to the collection, too. A girl could use a hat from time to time, so here’s a new one that I hope you don’t have yet. And lastly, a poncho to stay just a little warmer this winter. With all of the love. 

Merry Christmas - J

Tyler,

My TyTy. Auntie J and Kleebear got Dylan a couple of toys, I hope they last her longer than a few hours. Lol. And for you Ty, I raided AllSaints for you to show my love. A hat to add to the collection, and two shirts you probably already own but could use new ones of. And it couldn’t be Christmas without just a slight reminder that we probably belong on the naughty list, so a new lighter and flask for the new year baby! 😜 Much better than coal. Love you, loser. 

Merry Christmas - Janey & Klee

Val,

V, I couldn’t help myself but get your something after reconnecting (also kind of makes up for that one Christmas but, you know..) so I hope you like everything. Between traveling and rehearsals, I figured you could use a new bag to carry your stuff in. Also, some new wireless headphones for those long nights on the tour bus or early mornings at the airport. A snapback repping the OG Brooklyn team, because nothing says you more than a backwards snapback (no kitty ear damage to this one necessary). And lastly, what is quite probably your true love in life.. nutella. Enjoy, babe!

Happy Holidays - that one Chinese-Irish Hawaiian chick 😜

Daya,

Z, let’s be honest I didn’t know what to get the most stylish person I know. But I figure, you can make just about anything work, so maybe I shouldn’t stress. So I got you some black knee high boots, cute high high socks (they don’t have to go together, I just thought they’d be cute) and a white bag to offset all of the black. All hopefully a great start for 2018. I hope you love everything! xoxo 

Merry Christmas - J

Zo,

To the little sister I never knew I needed until your mama making out with my boo on tv someone brought us close (it’s a weird family dynamic). It’s been a blast reconnecting, and I can’t wait for new adventures in 2018. In the meantime, I got you a pretty dress nobody else could rock, a shirt to remind you that what Mama Lea and do, you can too, and a beanie that just says what I think about you like 99.9% of the time. (The only time my mind changes is when you’re clumsier than me.) Also, the homemade food from Mama P just as promised, still warm so you better eat up! Love you!!

Merry Christmas - Janel

[savetopnow]

2018-03-28 00 CELEBRITY now

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