capetowntandemparagliding

[s1x-foot-deep]

day 11. wicked horns

it hurts when they see you as a monster,

[tobecharacterized]

I've Lived in Passive Voice

for the first 15 years of my life. Things happened to me. I was hurt by people.

It was like looking out at my life from a foggy window, although I didn’t even realize the window was there until I shattered it with my metaphorical machete of personal growth.

In case my foggy window simile didn’t resonate: It was like living half-asleep. I’m not sure I can quite pin-point the moment I opened my eyes. It know it happened sometime between the first day of isolation (March 1, 2020 for me) and today, the seven-millionth day of isolation. I’m guessing it was the moment I realized that, “Yes, this is really happening. Yes, you��re lonely and you’re stuck here for God knows how long. No, this isn’t the end. You’ll be okay, even though you’re not right now. Just breathe.” 

Just breathe. 

I wrote a lot of poetry. My poetry is finally taking its own shape. The shape of my voice.

Here’s the most important one. I hate it.

i. 

she sits in the

dark 

eyes shut

stars

painted across her eyelids

ink

black as the night up to her knees and

rising 

still she

breathes 

as the tide of midnight

recedes

with her hopes and her 

dreams 

in the palm of its hand

and she is

silent

inside she is

crying

and when she lifts her 

eyes 

to find  

moonlight

the stars hide beneath her

skin

and all she sees is 

darkness 

ii.

uncover your eyes. i

am here. you 

are breathing millions of 

droplets of stars and sunlight and rain and 

breath 

from another’s lungs and 

what if 

you exist because i am breathing breath from yours and what if

to exist 

is to breathe?

what if whether we like it or not the universe

grows

infinitely 

toward no destination and

what if we grow infinitely 

toward no destination and 

what if you grow 

toward a destiny unlike anything you’ve ever known or 

wanted 

because whether we like it or not gravity

pulls 

us, bends

us, contorts our bodies and souls and minds into 

something 

unfamiliar,

unsatisfying,

and we might wake in the morning light to 

grieve

a life that has escaped our grasp just to miss the dawn and the 

stars 

painted on our eyelids 

and what if, girl of paper and stars, 

all we can really do is to 

breathe.

This is Brackenridge Park. This view from the bridge is my favorite place in San Antonio. Possibly the world. 

Walking through Brackenridge Park mid-winter (especially this winter) makes me feel real. Alive. When I am lying on the cold stone steps wondering what I might find at the bottom of the river if I rolled in, sitting at the foot of the biggest oak imagining that every cute boy that walks by is tugging on a red string of fate with me at the other end of it, using a stick to make sick beats for the various waterfowl to quack to-- I’m not just an observer anymore. Even when I’m observing. I am wide awake, the fog has cleared, and I am engaging with my life and my world in the only way I know how-- I’m breathing it in, breathing it out. I am part of it, and it is part of me. I’ve given it a chance, loved it, and made it mine. 

Current Mood: Reflective 😌

Currently Listening To: “Four” by Sleeping at Last

Time Posted: 5:50 P.M.

[shane613]

#brackenridge #street #sidewalk #red #painted #chipping #peeling #urbandecay #black #asphalt #grey #worn #weathered #distressed #lines #diagonal (at Brackenridge, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp2U2C7n_zN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=kg9t0wto4pik

[sanantonioswebdesign]

30 Fun things to do in San Antonio

1. It Ain’t Texas while not A Rodeo Rodeo - Things to try to to In urban center

If you aren’t in city for the urban center Stock Show and Rodeo in February—one of the most important rodeos within the country—that doesn’t mean you have got to miss out on seeing this urban center tradition. The Tejas Rodeo holds events from March through Nov. Giddyup!

2. trying to find one thing Spookier? Take A Ghost Tour!

In a town therefore wealthy with history, there ar inevitably lots of urban center ghost stories, too—discover them 1st hand with butchery town Ghost Tours or the Sisters Grimm Ghost Tour. Check them out… goodbye as you don’t scare easily!

3. Become a part of The “CSI” Team At The Witte depository

maybe it’s additional edu-tainment than academic, however the Witte Museum’s CSI: The Experience—created in cooperation with the CBS show—will be a success with fans of the series. And if “CSI” simply isn’t your issue, the Witte features a rotating choice of exhibits regarding science and history, particularly Texas history.

4. Get In Some Historic Drinking Why can’t all history have happened during a bar? The Menger edifice Bar is, famously, wherever President Teddy Roosevelt recruited his Rough Riders whereas the Buckhorn Saloon boasts of being the oldest saloon in Texas—though the Menger would argue it’s the oldest unceasingly operated saloon. Visit the Menger for a cultured cocktail and therefore the Buckhorn—which is, as delineate, stuffed with a good assortment of horns, looking trophies, and alternative exhibits—for kitsch.

5. Visit The Exotic life At The urban center installation If you’re trying to find one thing additional exotic than the ducks and squirrels that inhabit the remainder of Brackenridge Park, venture into the urban center installation. Nearly a hundred years previous, the installation options over three,500 animals together with lions, tigers, and bears—oh my!

6. investigate associate degree E-Book At The Country’s 1st All-Digital Library Bexar County’s BiblioTech may be a library while not one physical book, providing solely digital books and audiobooks. however the power itself is price a visit, with a large number of e-readers, tablets, laptops, and desktop computers on the market to use throughout your visit.

7. Get Some searching In At La Villita And mart There ar countless places to buy in urban center, however none quite just like the La Villita Historic Arts Village—in the oldest a part of the city—or the outside, Mexican-style marketplace of mart. once you’ve exhausted your case searching, each have events throughout the year—not to say nice people-watching. You won’t notice something like them outside San Antonio!

8. Go Spelunking In one in every of San Antonio’s several Caves If you’re bored with all of the outside and recent air, and ar desire one thing a touch additional brave, head underground to explore one in every of the area’s several caverns. Natural Bridge Caverns, Cascade Caverns, and Cave while not a reputation all supply some spectacular sights.

9. For Above-Ground Excitement, Ride The Coasters At fete Texas If you’re trying to travel air sure, you can’t do higher than Six Flags fete Texas that options many high-octane roller coasters just like the Iron Rattler. however if you don’t have a style for thrill rides, there ar lots of milder rides and family-friendly diversion on supply, too.

10. Take Special wants Friends and Family to go to Morgan’s Wonderland Morgan’s Wonderland may be a completely different quite common, designed and designed to be utterly accessible to youngsters and adults with psychological feature or physical challenges whereas being a fun expertise for all guests.

11. See urban center From higher than At The Tower Of solid ground

Sure, metropolis likes to brag regarding its house Needle, however at 750 feet, San Antonio’s Tower of solid ground is taller. It’s the tallest building in urban center—and one in every of the tallest in Texas—and it provides you a stellar read of San Antonio and therefore the close Texas hill country.

12. Play holidaymaker At The watercourse Walk (Even If You’re A Local)

Yes, the watercourse Walk may be a holidaymaker destination, however it’s a holidaymaker destination for a reason—it’s an attractive place to spend associate degree hour, a day, or an entire day. absorb the sights, grab a bite to eat, and simply get pleasure from the city district.

13. See the most important assortment Of Asian Art within the South You wouldn’t extremely suppose to go to urban center to examine Asian art, however the urban center depository of Art on the north finish of the watercourse Walk has an intensive collection—as well as works from solid ground, Europe, Egypt, Greece, and Rome. The crazy juxtaposition of east and (south)west is well-worth seeing.

14. See trendy Art In Spanish Colonial vogue The first trendy art depository within the state of Texas, the McNay Art depository is found within the former home of Marion Koogler McNay, a Spanish Colonial Revival mansion located on twenty three acres of improved grounds. even though trendy art isn’t your jam, the grounds ar an excellent place to wander and explore.

15. Skip The Museums And notice Some Street Art Instead For all the museums we’ve mentioned, you’ll notice art in urban center while not ever setting foot in one. We’re notably keen on F.I.S.H. by Donald Lipski, that options fish floating over the watercourse Walk below the I-35 flyover close to metropolis Street. If you retain your eyes open, you’ll conjointly notice murals everywhere the town.

16. Cheer On the house Team At A Spurs Game If you’re in urban center you’re responsible to root for the house team—and four-time NBA Championship winners, the Spurs, can provide you with masses to cheer for!

17. Brush informed Your Texas History At The butchery

nothing says Texas—or San Antonio—more than the historic butchery. And tho’ we’ve all detected the story, it’s price taking the time to go to. over simply the long-lasting facade, the butchery may be a four.2 acre complicated of gardens and exhibits—and ideal for a stroll before or once a ride down the watercourse Walk.

18. And investigate San Antonio’s alternative Historic Missions, Too Though the butchery continuously gets advert, urban center is home to over simply the one historic mission. Missions Conception, San Jose, San Juan, and Espada form up the urban center Missions park situated on the urban center watercourse.

19. wish to examine It All? Bike The Mission path From The butchery A hike and bike path runs from the butchery all the approach right down to the south Mission Espada. Rent a “B-cycle” from urban center B-Cycles and revel in the ride!

20. See The Nation’s Oldest Cathedral Built in 1750, the Cathedral of San Fernando in downtown urban center is that the oldest cathedral within the United States—and remains the middle of Catholic life within the town.

21. absorb Military History At Fort politico San Antonio features a massive military presence—enough to nickname the city “Military town USA.” Still a full of life military base, Fort politico is home to many museums and a grasslike, animal-filled quadrangle ideal for defrayment a day feeding the (rather demanding) birds.

22. Visit A Historic Homestead (Or 2 Or Three) Architecture lovers are in heaven. urban center is packed with historic homes, from the eighteenth century Spanish Governor’s Palace to the Steves Homestead and Villa Finale within the King William District.

23. See geographical region Fall colours while not confronting The weather condition

Texas might not be glorious for the dynamic  seasons, however that’s solely as a result of not everyone’s visited the Lost Maples State Natural space west of urban center. There, you’ll notice over two,000 acres of Bigtooth Maples and Texas Red Oaks that provides a sensible show each fall.

24. get pleasure from The Country while not exploit city The Lost Maples ar a touch of a drive, however Brackenridge Park offers 343 acres of out of doors diversion right within the heart of city. You’ll notice birds to feed, methods for walking or biking, playgrounds for the children, a links, and even a miniature railroad.

25. And Take Your Dog on Phil Hardberger Park - Things to try to to in urban center

Dogs ar allowed on-leash in Brackenridge Park, however at the 2 dog parks within Phil Hardberger Park , your hirsute friend will burst off the leash to run and play with alternative dogs.

26. notice Your Zen At the japanese garden For a touch additional Asian culture within the heart of urban center, swing by the japanese garden in Brackenridge Park wherever you’ll watch the swimming koi, relax by the water, or simply stroll the garden.

27. See Some ocean Life At SeaWorld SeaWorld - Things to try to to in urban center

You don’t have to be compelled to trek the 250 miles to town to examine marine life, as a result of the world’s largest marine park is correct in urban center with SeaWorld. make certain to catch up with Shamu and friends at the One Ocean show and take a swim with the stingrays at Aquatica!

28. Take A Spin At woman Bird Johnson Skate Park OK, therefore the town of urban center solely calls it woman Bird Johnson Park, however there’s a sizable—and free—skate park on the property. what percentage alternative 1st girls have their own skate parks? we tend to can’t consider any.

29. Entertain And Educate At The urban center Children’s depository San Antonio Children’s depository - Things to try to to in urban center Source: urban center Children’s depository

This kid-friendly—and, as a result, parent-friendly—museum focuses on interactive exhibits and learning through play. With 3 floors of show house, the urban center Children’s depository is bound to be a success with the miscroscopic ones.

30. Catch A Show At The butchery Drafthouse Or The Majestic Theatre The butchery Drafthouse Or The Majestic Theatre - Things to try to to in urban center

You can’t return through urban center while not catching a show. For recent run movies, strive the Texas original butchery Drafthouse Cinema, that serves up movies, food, and drinks tired identical place. For theater and alternative events, the historic Majestic Theatre is wherever you must go.

[bionicteaching]

Solenopsis invicta - fire ant worker by insectsunlocked Portrait of a red imported fire ant, Solenopsis invicta. This species arrived to the southeastern United States from South America in the 1930s. Specimen from Brackenridge Field Laboratory, Austin, Texas, USA. Public domain image by Alex Wild, produced by the University of Texas "Insects Unlocked" program. https://flic.kr/p/rQSBPh

[sagastar-blog]

MemoToTheMetaverse 3.5, “Daddy, Talk About the Beauty”

Lucius is a 7-year-old boy and Jeff is his 39-year-old father. Together they lie on their backs, looking up at the stars. They’re camping, trying to reconnect old bonds. However, it’s not this dimension. We are experiencing a thought inside the mind of an entity that cannot be aptly described by words, images, sensations, or music. In reality, Lucius has not been with his Daddy for nearly four years. Daddy has been condemned as “bipolar” and a “drug addict” because he is an En*G*lightened person who smokes marijuana at times as a way of tolerating violence and abuse. Also, it helps him express himself, which is a good thing for an Artist...even the occasionally destructive kind.

Lucius: Daddy, talk about the beauty!

Jeff: I love it when you say things like that. It makes me think that you haven’t forgotten anything I’ve taught you, even though I know this can’t be true. Lucius, for me, beauty begins and ends with you. I did not think I was special until you were born. Only at that instant did I understand what it meant to have a worthwhile responsibility on this planet. Without you, I would not know true love. And so, anytime I want to feel something beautiful, I think about you. 

Lucius: Did I ever do anything beautiful?

Jeff: OMJ, vous n’aurez aucune idee. There are too many of these memories to pick just one! I think of your big beautiful brown eyes when you were a baby, and how intelligent you looked...from the moment you were born, it was obvious to anyone with a mind that you were destined for greatness. Like an owl, wise eyes, we used to say...

Lucius: That’s a literary reference!

Jeff: I know, I know...like that one time, we have a recording of this, you were at the nature museum in Brackenridge Park in San Antonio. You say, “Look! Owl has EYES. Owl’s turn!” It was easy to tell you bedtime stories about how you’re “the one.”

Lucius: I don’t remember those stories. 

Jeff: Yes you do. No matter which story I told you--this was in 2013/14--the point was always the same: you and Daddy are immortal, and you are the one who is going to save the day. Never did I have a doubt in my mind that this was and would forever be true. 

Lucius: Daddy, why does everyone care about Jesus Christ?

Jeff: Because he’s one of Daddy’s favorite versions of himself. In other words, he was a person we’d like to meet for coffee some day. Some people, after all, are more knowable and therefore known to us than others!

Lucius: Omniscience is stupid. I hate dramatic irony. I hate that we don’t get to talk about the beauty more often. 

Jeff: There was one time at the playground at the San Antonio Library we used to visit at Trinity...this kid was being scolded by a mom for saying “I hate this!” She coached him to say, “We’re learning to like this.” That caught my ear, and you and I started using it in our dialogues. But you were only 2 or 3, so no one believed me when I used to call you “an angry little god!” We even dressed you up as baby Dionysus for Halloween. Those photos are beautiful and so are the memories. I loved you so much then and now I love you differently. 

Lucius: What’s impermanence? A baby’s face.

Jeff: Excellent koa la!

Lucius: Do you like my painting? It’s Orion.

Jeff: One of my very favorite and personal constellations! Didn’t we make the sky so pretty and perfect? Isn’t it so beautiful here tonight? Should we go look into the canyon for Hubble? They say the International Space Station is visible when it transits the moon. 

Lucius: Can you tell me the story about you and Dionysus again? 

Jeff: Sure thing, boss:

“Bullies, or, The End of Abuse”

Each and every May there is, they say, a great and Ancient Greek festival by Mount Olympus, when and where several gods do gather, and gaily revel at a lovely picnic lunch. One day--some say it was recently--Dionysus, God of wine and ecstasy, and master of ceremonies on this occasion, insulted Orpheus, a talented young musician, who'd only just learned to play (perforce) the lyre and publicly to sing.

"Little man! It's far too early for that sort of thing! And so, without further ado, at this time I command you to Bring Forth the Nectar Divine!" And then, in a gesture obscene and somewhat scandalous, for his high and mighty friends, the assembled gods and goddesses, he lifted up his toga and added,

"Or would you prefer, being human, a tiny taste of my own divine nectar?"

Some at the party laughed. Others merely sighed at Dionysus's boyish antics, feeling instead great pity for poor, maligned Orpheus. Aphrodite blushed an unknown shade of red. Calliope's pride was severely wounded. Hera shook her head. And beautiful Eurydice, she just wished that she was dead (again).

But Orpheus, accentuating his next verse exclamational- punctuationally--and free from metric stress, it seemed--belted out in birdsong his humanly reply. "No. You fetch me some coffee to go with this sandwich, you arrogant, melodramatic, tone-deaf piece of fucking shit! Your juice is for wilting pansies, and I, for one, 'll have none of it!”

Master Dionysus, he grimly grinned, opened up his Thermos, and solemnly spoke to him, "Sure thing, friend. You got it, kid." And then and only then did the party truly begin.

[Lucius has fallen asleep. Daddy stares at his son in awe and is reverent in the face of the sacred.]

Gaia (dreaming): The circuit must be complete. Om(g).

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[cprokansascity]

Crane Watch: Big buildings for medical school, corporate giants, downtown denizens

Construction on what will be the flagship of Austin’s fledging innovation district is likely to start later this fall.

The University of Texas at Austin and 2033 Higher Education Development Foundation, a nonprofit set up to support UT, announced in August that a $160 million, 17-story office building will be built on a portion of the former University Medical Center Brackenridge campus along Red River Street next to Waterloo Park.

Slated for completion by spring 2022, much of the tower will…

[luvluv1]

After McKalla Place stadium fight, several city-owned properties are poised for new life

Mueller, Seaholm, Colony Park and McKalla Place are vastly different places spread out across Austin.

But they have common roots as public land with a new lease on life through City Hall’s redevelopment efforts.

Mueller and Seaholm were transformed from a municipal airport and a decommissioned power plant, respectively, into mixed-use destinations. Mueller’s master developer, Catellus Development Corp., is poised to develop Colony Park in Northeast Austin into a master-planned community with thousands of homes.

And a pending deal for McKalla Place, a 24-acre tract in North Austin on the edge of The Domain, could soon give rise to a soccer stadium for Austin’s first major-league sports franchise.

So what’s next for the city’s real estate portfolio?

It’s a conversation that will linger long after this summer’s debate over Major League Soccer in North Austin fades into history because there are 13 more sites on the table.

And it’s an increasingly relevant conversation, to developers and taxpayers alike, as the city tries to use all its tools, including the dirt it owns, to address simmering issues like home unaffordability, vanishing creative space and gentrification.

“It is our obligation to make sure that our city-owned lands are used for the highest value,” Mayor Pro Tem Kathie Tovo said.

‘Highest maximum potential’

The city’s redevelopment process tends to focus on repurposing underused or decommissioned land.

"We use real estate to collaborate with the private sector to create development that results in community benefits,” said Christine Maguire, the city’s redevelopment division manager. “It’s about how real estate can leverage community benefits… and City Council strategic goals.”

She said the "North Star" guiding that effort are directives such as the 2012 Imagine Austin Comprehensive Plan.

"There’s also the real needs and aspirations of the community in real time," she said.

At this time, that means city-owned land is looked at for its potential for affordable housing, creative space for artists and health care opportunities "in areas of our city that have been traditionally ignored," Maguire said.

An Aug. 3 memo from city staff identified these four properties as the most ripe to go through the redevelopment process:

Enlarge

This Austin Energy property at 6909 Ryan Dr. — though they call it the Justin Lane tract because it’s also off that road — has access to commuter rail. It’s near where Airport Boulevard intersects with North Lamar Boulevard.

Arnold Wells / Staff

Enlarge

This site sits on more than 20 acres formerly used by a Home Depot and car dealership. It’s at 906 E. St Johns Ave. just off I-35 near its intersection with U.S. Highway 183.

Arnold Wells / Staff

Enlarge

Farther into East Austin, at 4800 Bolm Road, sits this former site of a recycling plant begging to be cycle into a new use itself.

Arnold Wells / Staff

Enlarge

Here’s another prime site in East Austin. This one, at 2201 Grove Blvd., is near Riverside Drive and just a couple of minutes away from the airport. The land that will be available is only a portion of this photo and includes some of the wooded area.

Arnold Wells / Staff

"We’re going to move [on] the first group that has the highest maximum potential," Maguire said.

Maguire cautioned there’s a lot of due diligence the city needs to perform by analyzing those sites at a "fine-tooth level" over the next several months.

"It is really doing our homework on any physical, regulatory or legal constraints on the property," she said.

‘So much opportunity to have an impact’

But that’s not all.

Local experts with the Urban Land Institute conduct research on topics relevant to affordability in Austin, such as the city’s permitting processes and employer-assisted housing. This spring, they began researching the development of affordable housing on government property.

As the subject of their study, they used five city sites that were highlighted for their development potential in a March report to Council. In addition to Justin Lane, McKalla Place and Home Depot/Chrysler, they looked at the HealthSouth building at 1215 Red River St. and the Winnebago tract at 4711 Winnebago Lane.

Paulette Gibbins, the executive director of ULI’s Austin chapter, said they wanted to analyze sites through their proximity to transportation, job opportunities and food and education options.

"For an affordable project to really be affordable, being able to have the cost of the land taken out of the equation… really makes these affordable projects happen," she said. With "building on government land there’s really so much opportunity to have an impact."

Enlarge

Paulette Gibbins is executive director of ULI Austin.

Arnold Wells/Staff

HealthSouth, a former physical rehabilitation center near the old Brackenridge hospital, was identified as the site with the highest opportunity due to its location and ability to capitalize on low-income housing tax credits.

"Let’s face it, there’s not many [affordable] places available downtown," Gibbins said.

In its March report, the city identified more long-range options, such as the One Texas Center surface parking lot at 505 Barton Springs Road or 411 Chicon, an East Austin parcel near the Plaza Saltillo MetroRail station where the city’s building services department is located.

City-owned property along RR 2222, FM 812, Johnny Morris Road and East William Cannon Drive were also floated as long-term development opportunities.

But don’t hold your breath.

"It may be a decision by the city to never let go" of those properties, Maguire said.

‘Recognize how capital looks at Austin’

The desires of area residents will play a role in the city’s deliberations.

Maguire said they want to continue community engagement work already started by some on City Council, such as Leslie Pool with the Justin Lane property and Greg Casar with Home Depot/Chrysler.

"We want to build upon that… and not supplant that great work," she said.

The site’s constraints and community feedback would be packaged into a competitive solicitation process like a request for proposals, Maguire said.

There’s a sense of urgency among city officials to redevelop city land to address affordability issues while Austin’s economy remains healthy.

Maguire said the city needs to take advantage of Austin’s "smoking hot market." Put simply, it’s relatively easy now to attract real estate interest from across the country and overseas.

Consider this: Earlier this year, for the first time, the Texas capital broke into the top 10 cities to invest in the Americas in an annual survey from CBRE Group Inc.

The report said investors are “racing to find the next Seattle by increasing their focus on the higher-yield potential of high-growth secondary markets” — and Austin is one of them. Austin tied with Toronto, Canada, as the 10th-most desirable place to invest this year.

"It’s an international city and we need to be able to recognize how capital looks at Austin," Maguire said. "We’re in a very strong position and we need maximize that strong position… particularly in places that haven’t seen that investment before."

While professional sports may not be on the horizon with other city properties, Maguire hopes community feedback and passion from the McKalla Place debate will stick around moving forward.

"I really hope that continues for every… opportunity that the city has," she said. "It’s really a challenge if nobody cares."

After the four sites outlined above, city officials have ID’d these tracts as being next in line for a revamp.

• 1215 Red River St.

• 4711 Winnebago Lane

• 411 Chicon St.

• 10900 RR 2222

• 5101 Johnny Morris Road

• The One Texas Center surface lot at 505 Barton Springs Road

• 5400 E. William Cannon Dr.

• 10108 FM 812

Source Article

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[s1x-foot-deep]

day 28. gunsmoke

I dont think that's safe or like. sanitary. but whatever man

[stormquiss-blog]

Face in the Glass

Face in the Glass - Part One Now

“I guarantee it will scare you out of your…”

“Shoes.  I presume you were going to say shoes.  Recall that I have a knife.”  The new waitress had a lilting, Shalamasi accent.

Briolden, the tavern-keep, grunted and lifted his lantern a little higher.  The new girl was small and lithe and had not looked back at him when she had made her casual threat.  Such a shame.  He knew the uncertain light made the scar on his cheek appear more vivid, more dangerous.  It showed he was not afraid of little knives.

He cleared his throat.  “Just a little further, now.”

They were deep inside the Crystal Tree Tavern, close to the bole of the tree for which it was named.  Peeling paint offered glimpses of the smooth, translucent crystal that formed the bones of the structure.  Barrels of ale and wine lined the walls, filling the air with a miasma of hops and vinegar.  Most of the rooms down here were for storage and rarely travelled.  Smoke stained the walls above fixed lanterns, but Briolden had not bothered to light them.  Shadows scurried around the girl ahead of him, furtive and fearful.

The corridor ended in a door.  Briolden gestured for the girl to open it.  She pulled on the handle hard, expecting resistance, and jumped back startled when it opened easily and without a squeak.  There was a slight tremor in her voice.  Good.

“You come here often?”  She had preempted one of his lines.  Bad.

“We use it to store valuables that belong to our guests.”  He patted the hefty lock as he entered the room, then the pocket where he kept the keys.  Of course, he had unlocked it earlier, but it could be locked again in a moment if needed.

The room was circular and stacked high with boxes, cases, barrels, bolts of cloth and piles of synth.  A shipment from Navarene was nearest the door, neglected by its owner.  Some of the crates had been prised open and Briolden glimpsed mysterious metal objects nestled in straw.  He reminded himself to scold the labourers for their curiosity.

At the centre of the room was the trunk of the crystal tree, almost ten feet in diameter and unblemished by panels or paint.  The girl had drifted close to it, beyond the shifting puddle of light from Briolden’s lantern.  She set one palm on the glassy surface and peered into its depths.

“What should I be seeing?”

Briolden walked slowly forward, heightening the tension.  “Move your hand a little to the left, and down.”

The girl stroked the surface, then cried out, flinching.  A moment later, she set her hands back on the surface.  “It is not smooth.  I feel…”  She turned toward him.  He gave her a simple smile and she returned a complex frown.  “I feel a face.”

Briolden lifted the lantern higher.

Light flowed like liquid into the crystal tree.  From moment to moment, a hint of a silhouette took on colour and texture, blooming into a complex image that was so unexpected it took a twist of will to comprehend.  The waitress gasped.

Within the trunk of the crystal tree, perfectly preserved, was the body of a woman.

“Behold,” said Briolden, brimming with glee.  “Behold, Ellomyr’s oldest unsolved murder.

Face in the Glass - Part Two Then

A squeal cut short, snatched Aurora’s attention from the assortment of tools, synth and oddities sorted neatly on the swatch of leather she had set on the ground.  “I wish you would stop doing that.  We know how it works.”

“That one got almost half way through.”  Blundh, the mercenary she had hired to protect her, shrugged.  “Can you say you know everything about this beast?”

“It is a plant.”  She shook her head, ponytail bobbing, before responding to his question.  “No, I cannot.  But I am working on a solution.”  She gestured at the doll-like figure she had been assembling for the last few hours.  It resembled a metal skeleton with sinews of wire and organs of mismatched gears, no more than a foot tall.

Blundh drew a small knife from his sleeve and spun it vertically between his fingers, before poking at the wooden cage.  The remaining cavot inside squealed.  “You think that gadget will be faster than this animal?”

Aurora sighed and leaned back on her haunches.  They had found the cave described by the Diruk where the great pile of thorn-tangled blocks known as the Brackenridge collapsed into the plains.  Shading her eyes, she could see Ellomyr in a distant, illusory puddle of heat haze.  An expedition to the Valley of Sins had passed them earlier in the day and Aurora had considered joining them.

“Safety in numbers,” she murmured again, but Blundh had insisted their deal meant he got half of everything they found.

She leaned back over her makeshift workspace and started fitting the single eye jewel into the automaton’s head.  “It is not about speed.  It is about fear.  Fear has an odour.  This plant can smell it and reacts.

Blundh grinned.  “Ah, the odour of fear and the odour of love.  I know these well.  I have no fear of this thing.  We should burn it out.”

Aurora had learned to be patient with her protector.  “We need the catalyst from the poison sacs.”

He thumped his chest.  “I am fearless.”  She glanced up and saw that his lips were smiling, but his eyes were not.

“I hired you to be afraid on my behalf, Blundh.  You do not have to boast at me.”

He chuckled.  “Tell me, why do you build these things?”

Aurora set the automaton on its feet and gingerly withdrew her hands.  Gears whirred and clicked.  The doll wobbled, but remained upright, and its single eye started to glow.  “This is a means to an end.”

“But you are a wright, no?”  

“That is my vocation.”  She brushed dust from her pants.  “Are you not curious how these miracles came to be?”

He ran his thumb along the edge of his dagger.  “Smiths make blades, wrights make…things.  It is all the same.  If it will make me rich I do not care what skill or magic made it.”  He returned his dagger to the sheath in his sleeve.  “But you do not answer my question.”  In those moments, when he said something that betrayed unexpected insight, Aurora could see the killer in his eyes, shrewd and contemplative.

She gestured at the doll.  “These are mere tinker toys.  They rarely last.  I want to build something big, something useful, something that will last a thousand years.  I want to be remembered.”

“You have no children.”  It was not a question.

“I have a daughter.  Had.  She was taken from me.”  Aurora fought against the sudden brittleness in her throat.  “Um.  What about you.  Why do you do what you do?”

“What?  Kill and wench?”  He poked the cage again and smiled at the cavot’s squeal.  “I am good enough at the first that I should soon be rich enough to spend the rest of my life enjoying the second.”

Aurora blushed and bent back to her work.  A screw tightened here, a wire crimped, a touch of mineral oil.  “Alright little Mr Fearless.  Show me what you can do.”

*

The cave was tall and narrow, a fissure that extended back into the Brackenridge as far as Aurora could see.  There may have been a hint of light from the far end, but it was diffused by  razor-sharp blue crystals jutting from the ground.

On the roof of the cave was a glistening network of tendrils connected to pulsating sacs.  The air was humid, brimming with the smell of sulphur and decay.

Unbidden, Blundh released the last of their cavots.  It hesitated, turning one way and another, but Blundh hemmed it in with his large hands.  Startled, it bounded into cave.

The tendrils shuddered, squeezing out thick, viscous droplets that fell around the fleeing cavot.  Snick!  Where a crystal was touched by the fluid, it rapidly expanded in size and length.  The cavot squealed and dodged left and right, trails of blood forming where the crystals grazed it.  Snick!  The cavot shuddered, and was still, impaled.

The tendrils above shivered, and slender, root-like filaments unfolded, reaching for the dead flesh.  Many of the other cavots Blundh had released were already partly mummified by the carnivorous plant.

A fine blue crystal dust mingled with tiny bones and scraps of fur covered the cave floor.  Blundh poked the nearest crystal with the tip of his knife.  It collapsed into dust.

“Fascinating,” Aurora murmured.  Is it an intentional symbiosis, or did it adapt?”

Blundh gestured with his knife.  “How are we to get this magical fluid?”

In response, Aurora spoke in a strange language full of trills, clicks and whistles.  The little automaton tilted its head back to gaze up at her and then abruptly marched into the cave.

Aurora held her breath.  As expected, the fearless metal doll drew no interest from the carnivorous plant.  A beam of red light, dull as embers, swept the cave as the doll navigated the thick clusters of crystal.  After a time, it disappeared from view.

Aurora turned away, drawing a couple of breaths free of the thick air of the cave.

Blundh did not seem bothered by the smell.  “Explain, again, why we need this fluid.”

“Well, we could adapt this ecosystem into some form of weapon, I suppose.”  Her eyes grew unfocused and she did not notice the intent look on Blundh’s face.  Then she shook her head, ponytail bobbing.  "If my research is correct we will need it to grow the crystal seed.”

Soon, the embers from the doll’s eyes returned.  Aurora smiled.  “It looks like my little friend has found us a treasure.  You never know how these things are going to adapt when you build them.”  The automaton exited the cave and proffered a small, burnished metal clipper, slightly larger than its existing hand.

“Alright my little friend.  Let us see what you have seen.”  Aurora removed the red jewel and held it up to the sun.  As the light flowed through it, an image was protected on the stone, a recording of its journey.

Blundh peered at the imagery and it seemed he was impressed.  “I see two, no three of those poison sacs.  There does not appear to be an easy way to reach them without getting caught by the crystals.”

“I am certain Mr Fearless can take care of those.”

Blundh held up his hand.  “Wait.  What is that?”

The fissure opened at its far end, onto a vista of blue, wispy clouds above a verdant, shifting forest dotted with ruins.

Aurora had unscrewed one of the automaton’s hands, replacing it with the clipper.  Gears whirred as the doll adjusted it balance.  She glanced up, then wet her lips with a quick flick of her tongue.

“Well, that makes things easier.  It looks like we have found a shortcut to the Valley of Sins.”

Face in the Glass - Part Three Now

The waitress looked back at Briolden, shaking her head.  Her pupils were large, seemingly endless in the light shimmering from the crystal.  “Who is she?”

“Nobody knows.”  Turning away, Briolden set the lantern on a box.  “The tale I hear is the tree appeared one night soon after the Battle of Ellomyr, and she was already trapped inside.”  Turning back, he watched the waitress as she examined the face in the glass, savouring the emotions that rippled across her face.  Fear, revulsion, sorrow.

The woman in the glass was perfectly preserved, down to the slight sunburn on her cheeks and the freckles on her nose.  Strands of auburn hair floated loose from her pony tail, like river weed.  Her forearms were crossed close to her chest, but she held nothing.

The waitress rubbed her own freckles, thoughtfully as she contemplated the image, the fingers of her other hand flowing along the faint tracery of bumps and ridges on the surface of the crystal. “She looks surprised.  A little sad.  Do you think she knew her killer?”

“Truth?  We do not really know it was murder.”  Briolden had drifted back to the door.  He closed it gently, leaned against it.  “If you look closely you can see her tool belt.  I warrant that’s a numenera sticking out.  Perhaps she was a wright and one of her experiments got out of hand?  We will never know.”

The waitress’s eyes glittered.  “Perhaps we will .”  Reaching into her apron, she drew out a hollow tetrahedron made from jade.  Something glinted at the centre, something that made the eyes water, as if the air was twisted out of shape.  She set it on the ground and coruscating light enveloped her in an inverted cone.  Images shimmered in the light.  Briolden’s face, big enough to fill the room, every bristle on his unshaven face as long as his arm.  An image of a metal arm in one of the open boxes.  The waitress’s shoes.  The images spun, and finally settled on the face in the glass.

Briolden crossed his arms to contain the sudden tension.  “I am always curious about the things a girl keeps in her pockets.  What is that?”

The waitress pointed her toe at the device on the floor.  “You know, we get tips in more than just shins don’t you?”

He scowled.  “Half of that is mine, then.”

“I picked it up on my way here.”  She reached into her apron pocket and drew out a small, red jewel.  “The gadget on the floor is a projector.  This…” she held the jewel up to her eye, “…is the real prize.”  She set it carefully on the crystal trunk, fixing it in place with clear fluid from a phial.

To Briolden, it seemed as if she had set the gem over one of the dead woman’s eyes.  “Those things make me nervous.  You never know what they will do.”

“I know what this will do.”  She turned to look at him, tilting her head.  “I cannot imagine you are afraid.  This device will let us look into her eyes and into her memories.  We may even be able to see the last few moments of her life.”  She turned back and Briolden felt his fingers twitch.

“It is wrong to meddle with the dead,” he muttered, but leaned closer, peering at the swirling lights.

The waitress tapped the jewel.

Face in the Glass - Part Four Then

Blundh prowled through the copse avoiding the dreambug snares with eloquent grace.  On reaching each involuntary sleeper, he kneeled down and poured water into their mouths, before quickly checking their gear for valuables.

“I count five villagers, one stranger and three aneen,” he murmured, and a soft cooing rose from the trees above, as the dreambug flock responded.  “Just a quarter of the expedition, but almost all of their food.”

Aurora glanced up from her makeshift workbench.  Mr Fearless scanned the copse with his jewelled eye, aloof to illusion, infusing the shadows with an umber hue.  The dreambugs, their translucent tendrils, and the expedition camp were all clearly visible in Mr Fearless’s projection.  In its absence the copse was empty, inviting.

“All we can do is make them comfortable and tell people in Ellomyr where they are,” Aurora responded.

Blundh snorted but moved onto the next sleeper.

The dreambugs resembled living balloons ranging in size from Blundh’s clenched fist, to one as large as the aneen it clasped.  Aurora had coined the name after seeing the rapidly moving eyes of their prey.  All of the supine forms were dreaming.  Their muscles twitched, and occasionally they moaned or cried out, but no amount of shaking, slapping, or cutting would wake them. “I am almost done, Mr Blundh.  We can move on soon.”

The glove Blundh had provided consisted of fine chain links over leather.  Using some of the synth from her pack, and iotum Mr Fearless had found on their descent, Aurora had added veins connected to tiny sacs of catalyst from the crystal cave.  With a pair of tweezers she set chips of blue crystal into mounts on the knuckles.

Assembling the weapon made her queasy but she was almost done.  Glancing up at the copse, reminded her of the dangers that made her work necessary.  The hide of the dreambugs pulsed in a lazy, rolling kaleidoscope.  They had no need of camouflage.  The Valley of Sins was wreathed in insubstantial ribbons of blue smoke that created  consensual hallucinations for the unwary.  The expedition had set their camp beneath the dreambug flock, oblivious to the danger above.

Mr Fearless could see through them and once seen through, they faded into smoke.

But she could not escape the wind, and its whispers.  Bad daughter.  Bad mother.  Rebellious.  Unseemly.  She shivered, then willed her muscles still.

Gently, she set the last of the crystal shards in place, eyes flicking back and forth as she checked over the makeshift weapon.  She cleared her throat.  “It is done, Mr Blundh.”

“So formal?”  His smile was boyish.  He kneeled beside her, as if preparing to pray.  “How does this work?”

“Give me your hand.”  His skin was warm and rough.  “You must be gentle.  Can you see the catalyst sacs?  They are controlled by crooking your fingers.  They are very sensitive.”

He drew on the glove with elaborate care, flexing his fingers just enough to get a sense for the weapon.  Holding it up to the light, he spread his fingers.  “They are too small.  A weapon is a statement.”

“I assure you, they will be effective.”  She handed him a pouch.  “I gathered these from the cave.  They should last a while.”

Standing, Blundh strolled back to the copse and place his hand against the hide of the largest dreambug.

“No,” Aurora cried, but it was too late.

Blundh crooked his finger, pumping the catalyst onto the crystal.  A shard erupted from his knuckle, forming a razor sharp claw as long again as his hand.  The dreambug squealed as it slowly deflated.  The aneen it was attached to, kicked out, snorted and died.

A susurrus filled the copse as the flock of dreambugs reacted.  Blundh danced away from their snares with childish glee.

“You have a talent for weapons.”  The crystal claw crumbled to dust as he gestured at the trail.  “We have wasted enough time.  The crystal grove is close.”

Aurora rolled up her tools, stood, and then rubbed her hands together.  It was a gesture her mother made when worried.  “What about them?”

“The sooner we find our prize, the sooner we can send rescue.  Agree?”

Reluctantly, she followed him on the trail that led deeper into the valley.

*

Blundh had taken to inhaling the blue vapors as they crossed his path, sampling the hallucinations they provided.  “Fill a bottle with this stuff and you could make a fortune.”

Aurora kept her eyes narrowly focused on the path.  Vertigo clung to her and she could not shake it.  “I suspect you would just be breathing smoke.  There is a deep interaction with the datasphere going on here.  The smoke is just an agent.”

Blundh shrugged then drew his eyes back to the beam of light that Mr Fearless was using to sweep their path.  The little automaton ticked and whirred, occasionally bending down to gather strange objects from the ground.  Aurora felt a strange thrill watching him fix a new set of grappling toes to his feet.  The automaton had learned to mend itself.

The Valley of Sins was a complex ecosystem of deceit and desire.  Many of its creatures had adapted to use the hallucinations delivered by the smoke to their advantage.  Aurora wondered if it was, perhaps, originally intended for entertainment or moral instruction.

Such speculation would get them no closer to their goal.  Fortunately, they had found a strange path that took them above the thick undergrowth.  It was a stone double helix, horizontal to the ground, with independent gravity.  At any moment, if Aurora looked away from the path, she would find herself standing sideways or with the forest high above her head.  The path had the texture and appearance of snake scales in emerald and blue.  Many of these “cobbles” were missing, permitting small weeds and bushes to grow.  An occasional pod-like structure clung to the side, brimming with webs and shadows.

They passed above a glade of mirrors, streams of blood, and trees with human limbs.  The Valley of Sins was strange enough even without the hallucinatory blue smoke.

In the early afternoon they arrived at the crystal tree grove.  The spiral continued onward toward the nearest cliff, but some geological event had caused it to collapse into rubble.  A strange buzzing sound ebbed and flowed, drowning out the accusatory whispers.

Finding the nearest spot where the helix touched the ground, they moved off toward the pearlescent glow of the grove.

The crystal trees rose almost as high as the nearby cliffs.  In structure, they more closely resembled upturned chandeliers.  The bole of each tree rose almost forty feet, before sprouting numerous branches.  Each branch swept upwards to varying heights, before terminating in flat, circular platforms.  Crystal webbing interlaced the branches.  The trees would make perfect architectural frames.

Blundh shaded his eyes.  “I am not sure even your automaton could drag one of these out of here.”

“The seeds, Mr Blundh.  We are looking for the seeds.”

Aurora scanned the trees.  She trilled and chattered at Mr Fearless, who raised his eye to the glittering canopy.  The tree had leaves that turned slowly to watch the sun.  One cluster of leaves beneath the platform on a lower branch appeared more substantial, reflecting the light from Mr Fearless’s eye with brilliant azure.  “There,” Aurora pointed.  “I think those are the closest we will find.”

The wind gusted and the buzzing grew louder before fading.

Blundh swung a climbing hook over the lowest branch , lowered it back down to Aurora and then gestured for her to hang on.  In moments, he had lifted her into the canopy.

When she reached the seed cluster, she paused, eyes closed, marveling at the simplicity of the sun on her face.  Ever since she had heard the tales of the crystal trees, she had imagined this moment and it did not seem quite real.  She wondered if perhaps this was a dream and she had been captured by a dreambug or was a victim of the blue clouds.

Blundh tugged on the rope and waved.  No dream could be so irritating.

Cupped in the cluster of crystal leaves, were two opalescent seeds.  Using a small chisel, she chipped away at the leaves until the seeds feel free.  They were flat ovals, like stream polished pebbles, but the size of her cupped hands.  She placed each one gently in her satchel and checked the straps twice.

Shading her eyes, she scanned the tree.  There were more seeds, but they were beyond her reach.  The crystal was certainly too slippery for Mr Fearless’s mechanical hands but she wondered if she could construct some suckers for him.

Her mind was turning over the design when Blundh tugged on the rope again and shouted.  “Hoy.  Look west.”

The crystal tree dimmed, as a shadow crossed the sun.  The buzzing was suddenly much louder.

A roiling cloud of creatures was descending on the crystal grove in long spirals.  Each was almost two meters long, with black wings and wicked beaks.  Aurora shivered and almost lost her grip.

Tetrahydra’s were dangerous but rarely traveled in groups larger than three or four.  This was a swarm of at least two dozen, and each had a dreambug clinging to its back.

Face in the Glass - Part Five Now

Colours churned on the waitress’s face, resolving and dissolving, like a rainbow stirred with a stick.  She gestured, trying to pluck images from the maelstrom, expanding or discarding them.

Chasing moths, Briolden thought.

Colours swelled into patterns, resolved into glimpses between blinks.  Eyelashes the size of his arm.  Galaxies, then snowflakes, then pollen drifting on the sunset.  The perspective constantly shifted and Briolden felt nausea blooming and swallowed.  He looked away, but shadows in the room pulsed and shifted, restless in response.

Glancing back he saw a blurred face, shifting rapidly in and out of focus.

A sigh, sharply withdrawn as the waitress tried to grasp the image.  It was a newborn, swaddled in purple cloth inlaid with intricate, golden patterns.  Then the image was gone, sucked away by the incessant, demanding scurry of lights.

There was no sound, but the images were so vivid that Briolden found his imagination filling the silence.  The burr of a wasp, the chuckle of a river, the remorseless pounding of a heartbeat, and a faint shiver of metal sliding across metal.  Briolden felt his skin crawl, momentarily convinced the sound had come from within the storage room.  He scanned the uneasy shadows but nothing moved.

The waitress was softly speaking.  “Memory is not linear.  It is not a deck of cards.  Impressions fold through feelings, muddled in moments.  I have never managed to hold a single image for too long, but all we need is a glimpse.”

Keeping an eye on the girl, Briolden reached inside his jacket and flipped efficiently through his keychain.  With exaggerated care, he drew out the appropriate key and slipped it into the lock.

A strange hum rose and faded.  A lid from one of the open boxes fell abruptly to the floor.  Briolden smelled mineral oil and ozone.  He scanned the shadows and a peculiar thrill clenched his throat , until he realised the figure standing against the wall was just a metal mannequin.

Spooked, he reached into the pouch on his waist, quietly unclipping it and drawing out the glove within.  The careworn leather, the chain links and switches, the tiny bulbs and hard nubs, were as familiar and comfortable as the creases in the palm of his hand.

A red, strobing effect scattered bloody droplets across the waitress’s face.  It was the sun rising and setting almost too fast to see, days piling on days, endlessly chasing its tail.  He glimpsed a cave full of blue crystals, sleeping humans in the grip of strange parasites, a spiral path, and crystal trees.

Then, with a lurch the almost made him stagger, a single image resolved on the screen; a face, bald-headed and tattooed, with a scar still fresh and vivid on one cheek.

Briolden reached back and turned the key firmly in the lock.

Snick!

Face in the Glass - Part Six Then

“Down.”

Aurora ducked as another tetrahydra plunged through the trees, its beak clicking and snapping.  Blundh pumped his fist and a crystal shard shot from his glove, missing it head, but impaling the dreambug that rode it.  The tetrahydra crashed to the dirt and started thrashing.  Blundh pinned it with his boot and shot another crystal through its skull.

“Go.”

Aurora ran.  A calm, rational part of her brain marvelled at the glaive’s innovative use of her weapon, even as he turned and fire at a passing shadow.  Mr Fearless clung to her arm, actively shielding her, and she clutched the previous satchel to her chest.  She was conscious the tetrahydra flock was herding them toward the cliffs and despair sucked at her feet, but Blundh kept her moving.

They had been so close.  She had the seeds.  She had the catalyst tucked carefully into her belt pouch.  The cliffs loomed above and she thought, no way out, no way out.

She screamed.  A tetrahydra dropped in front of her, its mouth tentacles flailing.  Blundh pushed her roughly aside and she slammed into a tree   Roaring, the glaive punched his fist into the creature’s beak, pumping out crystals, until its face was covered in bloody froth.  The he stood, and swayed, and grinned.

Aurora rubbed her forehead and her fingers came away covered in blood, but it was nothing compared to the five inch gash on Blundh’s cheek.

“You are hurt,” she murmured.

Blundh laughed.  “Scars are good for a warrior.  Scars tell our tales.”  He scowled suddenly, gesturing at the edge of the tree line, and the looming cliff.  “We must find shelter.  A defensive position.  We stand no chance in the open, and I see no way up those cliffs.”

Aurora clutched the seed satchel to her chest, nodding, nodding.  The abrupt wave of relief she felt dropped her to her knees.  “I can do it.  I can get us out of here.”  She grinned wolfishly, enjoying Blundh’s looked of puzzlement.  “Do you think you can hold them off long enough for us to get to the edge of the cliff.”

Blundh nodded.  “For a minute or two.  What are you planning?”

“Mr Blundh, I believe I have an idea.

She proffered her hand and allowed him to pull her to her feet.

*

More tetrahyrdas had joined the flock than they had killed.  Two of them dived as soon as she and Blundh broke from the trees.  Aurora raised her arm instinctively as one swooped down on her and Mr Fearless raked it with his new, grappling claws.  The creature cried out, in a breathy, mournful rasp, and crashed into nearby boulders.  Blundh shot the other down on its second pass.

On reaching the wall, she drew a seed from her satchel and pulled the waterskin filled with catalyst from her pouch and weighed one in each hand.  She kicked Blundh’s shin to get his attention. “I am not sure how quick this will be.  Quick enough I hope.  If you could make some loops of rope?”

The glaive watched her face, without responding, for long seconds.  Then he fired off a quick volley of shards at the wheeling flock and drew the last of their rope from his back.  “I am ready.”

Kneeling, Aurora set the crystal seed into the earth.  She trilled some instructions at Mr Fearless, then stood back and lifted the shard.  “This should work.”

“You do not sound convinced.”  Blundh grunted.  The tetrahydras had worked out how to land on the sheer cliffs above and were wing walking down toward them.  “Why do you wait?”

She reached out, trembling, and poured the catalyst on the seed.

And laughed against bubbling hysteria as nothing happened.  Blundh swiped at a tetrahydra with the rope, knocking if off the cliff, and nothing happened.  Six of the beasts emerged from the forest, beaks clicking and drooling, and nothing happened.  Aurora felt her consciousness slipping, her vision narrowing, and yet nothing happened.

Then it all seemed to happen in a moment.

Tiny crystal filaments formed on the surface of the seed, hissing as they probed the sunlight and shattered it.  The filaments grew quickly, like questing, curious fingers.  Then the hissing grew to a roar and dirt erupted as the crystal tree rose rapidly from the ground.

Blundh threw a loop of rope over an emerging branch, another around her waist, then gripped her with all his strength.  In moments her feet had left the ground and she felt a heavy sensation in her stomach as they were hurled upwards.  A crackling filled the air, as loud as an avalanche, and the tetrahydra flock wheeled away, scattering.

Aurora was terrified, exhausted, but she took a moment to admire the view unfolding around her.  She could see back the helix path fading into the distance, a glint of the glade of mirrors, and the distant cliff where they had found the secret path.  She struggled to remain conscious.  Shadows crossed her face as the boughs of the crystal tree unfolded, asymmetrically, constrained by the cliff.  She felt Blundh grab her belt and hurl her up onto a platform that was growing rapidly, like a spinning plate.  Then all she could see was the layer of blue clouds that hid the valley from view.

*

The lights of Ellomyr glowed in the distance, like embers floating over water.  Every muscles in Aurora’s body hummed with fatigue, and her skins was a tapestry of cuts and bruises.  Yet she hummed happily, a lullaby she had once sung to her infant daughter, before they had taken her away.  Blundh had remained stolidly silent since they had scrambled over the edge of the cliff.  Perhaps brooding was the way he dealt with pain and the memory of fear?  It did not matter to Aurora.  She dealt with pain and fear by planning, by building, and the seed was all she needed to get started.

Finally, Blundh spoke from the darkness, his voice oddly flat.  “Truth.  Why did the crystal tree not shatter like the shards in the cave?”

“It is made from different stuff, Mr Blundh.  The catalyst is not what makes the blue shards brittle.”

“Ah.  Good.”  His had closed on her upper arm, swinging her around to face him.  “Then we need to talk about my fee.”

Aurora shook her head, puzzled.  “Now?  Surely you want some light, some food, perhaps an ale?“

“Now.”  He gestured at her satchel.  “Half of the treasure is mine.  The last seed is mine.”

Aurora tried to pull away but he was too strong.  “No.  This whole trip was to get the seed.  If you want everything else you can have it.  But I need the seed.”

His eyes were dark.  Blood tricked from his roughly stitched wound.  He nodded and released her suddenly, so that she staggered backwards.

A chill rippled through her skin and she started backing away.  He was speaking softly, turning his gloved hand over to look at this palm.  “Nobody knows that we both emerged from the valley alive.”

Aurora took a breath.  She started clicking and trilling.

He laughed.  “Your little metal doll will not save you.”

“Faori,” she shouted, and Mr Fearless jumped from her shoulder, and scurried into the night.

Blundh fired off a few shards, but it did not sound as if any struck the automaton.

Then he levelled the glove at her face.  “The seed.”

Aurora drew it slowly out of her satchel.  “Here it is.”  She clutched it to her chest and plucked the catalyst from her belt, pressing the waterskin against the seed.  “Come and get it.”

Rage suffused him, and muscles in his jaw twitched.  Aurora watched him struggle to control his anger.  He shuddered, then smiled.  “What is half of clever,” he whispered?

Then he lunged toward her.

Face in the Glass - Part Seven Now

As the lights faded, the waitress spoke in a whisper.  “When did you know?”

Briolden finished pulling the glove tight, careful not to stress the catalyst sacs.  “Does it matter?”  He chuckled. “If it makes you feel any better, I was not certain until just a few minutes ago.”

She swivelled slowly on her heels, turning to face him.  The resemblance was uncanny.  Briolden felt foolish for not noticing earlier.  Not that it mattered.

“My name is Faori Folly.  My mother was Aurora Adherani.”  Faori was trembling, but with rage not fear.  “And the important question for you is, when did I know?”

Briolden leaped toward her, fist clenching to pump the catalyst sacs.  Razor sharp blue crystals erupted from the gloves like claws.

And smashed on the cone of light surrounding Faori, breaking half the bones in his hand.  Briolden rebounded, staggered and crashed back into the crates along the wall.

Faori tapped the air.  “The light is projected on a force field.”  Her gaze flicked passed him.  “Now.”

Strong, mechanical arms closed around Briolden’s torso from behind.  A voice, soft as reeds in a breeze, spoke in his ear.

“I am exerting 3237 newtons of force on your ribs.  Your struggles may add sufficient force for your ribs to crack.  But please, do continue to struggle.”

Briolden ceased struggling.

Faori leaned down and plucked the force projector from the floor.  The lights dissolved.  “Thank you, Mr Fearless.”

“As always, Lady Folly, it is my pleasure so serve.”  She tilted her head, one way and another.  “You may wish to let up a little, Mr Fearless.  I believe he wants to breathe.”

Briolden gasped.  “Is it vengeance you seek?  It is too late to save her.”

“You know, you never did ask me my name.  I suppose the other girls your brought down here mattered much to you either.”  Her voice was suffused with melancholy.  “It’s not as if I truly knew my mother.”  She stepped closer, then sat on the edge of a crate contemplating the man.  “It is not vengeance I seek, Briolden Blundh.  It is justice.”

Briolden spat at her.  A moment later agony lanced through him as his ribs crackled.

Faori’s voice remained even.  “You do not have to answer my questions, of course.

“You have no proof that I killed her.”

“No.”  She waved her hands.  “All of this was a light show to keep you distracted while Mr Fearless reassembled himself.”  She leaned closer and her breath was sour from sorrow.  “The only thing you will see in the eyes of a dead woman is your reflection.”

He grinned.  “Then release me or kill me.  Are you a killer Faori Folly?”

“Have you already forgotten, Mr Blundh?  Mr Fearless records everything he sees.”

“Upon occasion, I simulate circumstances where I forget.  Alas, they are mere thought devices to distract the mind from the crushing mundanity of the world.”

Aurora glanced down at the hands she had clasped together in her lap.  “Still, I am curious about one thing.”

Breathing shallow, to diminish the pain, Briolden spoke softly.  “I will answer your question if you answer one of mine.  How did you track me down?”

She caught his gaze and smiled.  “Certainly you have noticed how big Mr Fearless is now.  It took a long time for him to find me.  He made a few modifications to himself on the way.”

The reeds again.  “I am delighted that you find my present form so pleasing, Lady Folly.”

Briolden chuckled, a ratcheting sound.  “She wanted to build something to last.  A legacy.  And here are the two of you.”

“So it may be.  Now answer me.  Why did you stay?  Why build the tavern?  Was it from guilt or to gloat?”

Briolden found it too painful to shrug.  “A foolish waste of a question.  She has all my treasures.  She was my treasure.  I could not leave her behind.”

Faori stood, stretched.  “Folly is only my family name, Mr Blundh.  Now, Mr Fearless, let me recover your third eye and then we will show the council what it has seen.”

The Face in the Glass - Epilogue Now

Like the crystal tree, the city of Ellomyr had grown organically, along and across the Great Red River, around the Brackenridge and the mysterious, endless Valley of Sins, and down into the mighty gorge where the river vanished far below the ground.  The crystal tree sat among a series of interlinked pools, flowing into each other, occasionally in defiance of gravity.  The pools formed part of Ellomyr’s fresh water filtering system and were filled with fish and lilies.  Weirs and aqueducts spread from the pools out across the city like an aqueous web.

Faori sat on the edge of one of the pools, one knee hooked in her hands.  A pair of labourers had just removed the tavern’s original sign.  The tavern itself was a three-storey cylindrical structure constructed around the bole of the tree.  Numerous outbuildings at various levels were connected by ladders and bridges.  A sky ship was docked to one of the higher branches, catching the light of the setting sun.

Even when he was completely still, Faori could hear the tick of metal as it heated and cooled, the hum of gears, the flow of fluids.  Mr Fearless stood beside her, mechanical hands behind his back.  After reassembling himself from the crates in the storeroom, he had been naked for a while, his mechanical innards exposed.  Now he wore his long black trench coat, a black and white striped scarf, and a bowler hat.  That was proper.

His third eye, the red seeing jewel, glowed richly in response to the light of setting sun.  “It seems that certain legal matters have been resolved to favorably address your impecunious status.  In brief, it would appear  that you are now the proud owner of a tavern.”

Faori had never determined if his elaborate speech patterns were innate to the voice box he had found on his journey, or merely affected.  She tilted her head to look up at him.  “We, Mr Fearless.  In any case, I am not sure that we are cut out to be tavern-keeps.”

“It is certain we would offer substantially less risk to serving staff of the distaff variety than the prior claimant to the title.”

Faori chuckled, but seemed a little sad.  “It turns out that we are rather good at this investigating lark.”

“Indeed.  Though travelling through all the Steadfast and half the Beyond to discover the fate of your mother is not something that, with any level of brevity imaginable, I would merely describe as a ‘lark’.”

Faori pushed herself to her feet.  The labourers were lifting a new sign in place.  She quirked her lips into a grin that Mr Fearless knew meant mischief.  “Perhaps we should stay.  What do you think?  ‘Folly and Fearless, private detectives’?”

Mr Fearless shook his head with great deliberation.  “While I am loathe to perpetuate a jest that assuredly arose parallel with self-awareness itself, nonetheless I do believe that ‘Fearless and Folly’ has greater resonance.”

“It certainly sounds good to me.”  She patted his sleeve.  “I am famished.  Shall we eat?”

They strolled away from the crystal tree, arm in arm.

Behind them, as the sun set, the labourers finished their work, placing the new sign.  The paint was still wet and the letters glittered with metallic motes.

It simply read “Aurora’s Arms.”

[sabridge62]

Seeing red at the Japanese Tea Garden. #garden #urbangarden #japaneseteagarden #hipstamatic #iphone #iphonephotography #digitalart (at Japanese Tea Garden at Brackenridge Park)

[skysphoenixmode-blog]

First Sneak Peek Chapter

                                  2015 Part 1 (Me vs Brittany)

                         Chapter Song: Norah Jones- Good Morning

This is the chapter I've been waiting for to be very honest. This one I hold very close and dear to my heart. This is the beginning of what has been prior to this year the hardest two years of my life. Before I begin I just want to make perfectly clear that this chapter right here is in no way blaming this person for everything that has happened. I did back then. I was lost and in rage. I didn't know what to do with myself. This was when I confronted her last year before 2016 happened. Now that my stepmom is no longer in the picture, and then some, a part of me wants to make this right the right way. Yes, I know what people are going to say. They are going to be like “Oh Sky it's been two years. Why haven't you still let this go?” Blah blah blah blah. You know what there's a difference between not letting it go and revisiting this. Anybody who wants to think that I'm not letting it go? Fine fuck you but go ahead because I don't care. I'm not going to involve anyone anymore. This is my fight and my fight alone. Before I begin, I'm here to tell you all right now that yes, I have been trying to get ahold of her here and there but it’s rarely and its only when chaos is happening in other areas of my life but I'm doing it to do the right thing and trust me I'm going to get into the entire story right here and right now. The truth is as well, I do sometimes wonder if it’s because of my actions during this whole dilemma is what caused the rest of the last two years of my life to be my worst hours yet. Not because of what she did. That doesn’t matter at this point but because of what I did. If anybody who has read this still doesn't get it and know that I'm not a bad guy and I'm not as bad as a lot of people think I’ am up to this point so far and going forward then again fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. One more time FUCK YOU!!!! All right, now that I've let that out. I'm going to get back to this chapter I don't know what's going to happen, we could become closer than ever before. We could somehow get together. We could just have more respect for one another. She could still hate me. I could still hate her. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. Crazier shit has happened What I know is that while I'm not going to apologize for what I felt, I ‘am here before you a humble man to say I've done some shitty things too during this whole Dilemma. When it first happened, I put the blame on her all of it. Even for my guys struggling two years ago. It was wrong and it crossed the line. It's something I have to live with the rest of my life. Shit I even feel like some of the shitty things I did was karma coming back Why? You are about to hear all of it and I mean all of it. Ladies and Gentlemen here we go.

 It all started 3 years ago. Close to the end of 2014. It started in October. Me and my friend Brittany who were very close at the time, we were on top of the world. We would talk a lot. We would go to one another for our issues. I'll get to that here shortly in case anyone is wondering. She was someone I cared about. Who is Brittany you asked? Brittany was someone who I met at one of my old hang out spots. She worked there. It was called Bikinis. It was a sports bar here in town. Yes, I know what people are going to say, you were hanging out at a tit bar or whatever? Yes, I was. So what? I'll admit some of them I became close with but Not because of the sex frustrations. Some others yes, I did because they were attractive. I'll admit that too. Brittany was in the other category where I didn't. Maybe I liked liked her a little bit. Maybe I didn't. What I do know is the care and love for her that I felt was legit. Unlike some other people that she told me about. Especially other guys. I legitimately gave a shit about her. It was 2014. We were talking a lot. I even remember where I learned my lesson of overdoing it about talking every day or texting or whatever. Due to events from back in the day. Right around my 21st birthday we started becoming closer and closer. I remember that afternoon. I spent the day downtown at Bikinis. Watching some World Cup and having some drinks. Of course, I just got done establishing Bikinis as one of my spots by then. Although I did admit that yes some of them from back in the day were fucking attractive, others I legitimately cared about as good friends and or family. I took care of my people like I always do. I went to get them drinks from Starbucks. I was always there to listen to their problems which was fine because I showed that I care. Especially because they've always let me hang out there. I even became tight with some of the managers. Mainly Jade and Rod. Although I don't talk to them much anymore. I will occasionally if they don't hate my guts. Jade is busy with mom duties with her beautiful twins Zach and Maddie who are now 1 and I believe 2 come August and then of course Wifey duties with her beloved Eric. Rod is now the general manager at Lalas bar here in town. Not downtown but it's actually north and I believe not too far from me if I'm not mistaken and of course he's being Rod. Todd was cool and funny as shit but I don't talk with him much anymore. Nothing happened. I just I don't talk with him much anymore. Dom, I will occasionally. Corey haven't seen him in a while. Mainly Jade and Rod. Same with Karen. Actually as of Right now, Karen and Acacia are the only ones I’ve been talking to and keeping in the most contact with the most. Any who, so my birthday we started talking a lot more me and Brittany. It was also the beginning of the sweet notes that Brittany wrote for me which I later set on fire which I will get to in a moment. Bear with me here. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Over the next couple of months, we would talk increasingly. She even was my biggest supporter come the time of fantasy football season. I even remember where the day of one of my drafts came, I made her some CDs because I remember her telling me she didn't have much in her car so I took the time to do something nice for her to tell her much love and much appreciation. I almost came close to having a draft party for the first season of my DFW Nation league which Jade and Rod were a part of. Rod left before year 3 but Jade was a part of it since the very beginning. I even got her and few others some drinks. Can't remember who else was there off the top of my head. I went to my Starbucks of course. I remember her favorite drink was some sort of bean frap. Shit if we were still talking, I could easily ask her but of course we are not. So, when I came in that Sunday, I gave it to her and she was just overjoyed. We gave each other a hug, and then of course we just went back to Good ol me and Brittany being funny and then some. Things were great. October came and that was a small beginning but it really didn't start till December. October is here and this was before I left for Missouri for a few days since I didn't go in September for Danny's wedding which I now feel like a Jackass for. I went to go see him and Sam and then of course the rest of my family. We were supposed to hang out one Tuesday night. Have some one on one time outside of work. Not a date. Least that's not I was wanting and I hope she didn't think it was or thinking that I was expecting that. So that Tuesday arrives. I had to do yard work. (Ugh Yard work I hate it so much.) I was quickly raking the leaves. I had my iPod on listening to Public Enemy. I was in a Public Enemy mood. So I was in the zone the entire afternoon trying to get the stupid leaves done. We were talking throughout the entire day. About the normal shit we would talk about and of course being funny like Michael Scott and Holly from the Office. Not that we were in a relationship like they were. Oh no no no no no. Hell no. Not that I don't think she's attractive. She's cute and she's beautiful. I'll admit that. I'm not afraid to admit that at all. Besides what do I have to lose. Now I don't have any sexual attractions towards her. I didn't then and I don't now. Anybody who does not believe me can yes go to hell. Cause like with everything else I don't care what people think. Any who while we are talking, we are of course trying to figure things out for that night. Not a big deal but if there's one thing I'm very serious about it’s about time. If people are honest with me then I will understand. So 4pm comes around, I'm done with raking the leaves. I take a shower because we had plans for 7pm. I get ready because we were going to have dinner at Bikinis because she was off. Had great food obviously. Why else would I hang there? I always got a buffalo chicken sandwich. I love anything Chicken. I'd prefer that over red meat. So I get ready. Of course I don't dress super fancy cause again it's not a date. Once I'm ready I charge my phone for a little while because my galaxy kind of started to become a piece of garbage. Once it's done charging, I gather myself. I make sure I look presentable because again even though it's not a date, I don't want to look like shit. So I leave. I got on my route. I put on my headphones because I don't like talking to people on the bus although I ended up talking to this really nice veteran. Just telling me about his story. Now as long as he's not crazy or anyone for that matter and clearly, he wasn't then I'm going to listen. So about 6:30 I get off near St David's Brackenridge because I got a text from Brittany saying that she got called in and she wanted to postpone because she didn't feel like going in which of course she lied to her superiors. Now on one hand while I was open to going somewhere else, I didn't want to pressure her. So I was like that's fine. We will just do something another time probably when I come back. So I end up going anyways. Just because I had a lot on my mind. I go because the Mavericks were playing that night. They were playing Philly if I'm not mistaken. Jade was managing that night plus my former homegirl Tamra was bartending. I went and it was a great night which is what I needed especially because I did something shitty which I will get into later on in regard to why I'm going then. So after I get back from my four days, I was invited to a goodbye party for someone else who used to work there. It was not Brittany but bear with me here. It was another one who used to work there. Her name was Jaime. Good ol J-Spinn invited me. I always got along with her. However, I shouldn't have gone but I did just to be supportive. She invited me. A lot of her friends there I did not know. Vince Young was actually there. He knew her. Which was surprising but unfortunately, he was kind of a douche. Colt McCoy would've been better. Him or Justin Tucker. So it was around 2pm when it started me. The only 4 I knew were Jaimie, Amanda, Leslie, and Tamra but even then, otherwise once again I was just the odd man out. It wasn't my cup of tea. Besides I have nothing interesting. Due to my history of either I drive people away or people just plain and simple don't like me. It was after I ended up being the 4 that I knew photographer for a few pictures but again back then I was stupid unlike now. So as soon as I took the pictures, then realized that ah fuck this this is not my cup of tea. I went up told Jaimie good luck in Nashville. Gave her a hug and then I took off. I went back to Bikinis but instead I had another hangout spot which was none other than the Parish. My homegirl at least I still in a way hope so, Karen was the lead there. She was Bartending there that day and Rod was managing. I went there to hang and have a drink. Not sure if I had lunch that day but I did go before I took off to my house. When I went, I was Wondering if Brittany was working that day. When Rod came down I asked him.

“Yo Bro, Is Britt working today?” He then said, “Nah Man, she moved!!!” I was surprised and I was like “Really?” He confirmed it. Happened while I was gone. Of course, I wasn't mad…. yet. It's coming but not yet. So, a few hours later, I messaged her. Saying “Hey is it true you moved?” She messaged me back a yes with a sad face response. Again of course I wasn't mad because it's out of my control. She even apologized which was unnecessary. As November went on, she was having a hard time with the move and guess who she came too every damn day? Me. We talked almost if not every day. She messaged me because again I was the one who was there to answer the call when she needed someone to talk to. I don't care what anybody says, it's a goddamn fact. I wouldn't be saying that and then some if it wasn't true. So yeah, I enjoyed it. We facetimed each other a few times and it was nice. She even had a few times because of our common love of Starbucks where she would send me pics of her drinks or Her and her beautiful Dog Kenya taking Starbucks Runs. It was beautiful. Her dog Kenya was a beautiful pup. Of course, she wasn't a baby but the love that Brittany had for Kenya, it was Admirable. It was adorable. One day I was at the bar having lunch and a drink after work. My somewhat still occasional homegirl Alexis who was also close with Brittany was Bartending that day. While Alexis and I were talking, I get a phone call from Britt. Of course, again, I was happy happy happy. All was well. It's getting close to when it all changed. But any who, I answered. Britt and I were talking for a few minutes. Alexis then was telling me to tell her hi and of Course Alexis wanted to chat with her for a minute. I handed her over my phone. They talked for a minute which of course Alexis had to get off before I want to say Todd was lead that day. Last thing we needed was for Alexis to get in trouble. Before, it was discovered and I was the first to know and again this is a fact but I was the first to know That Brittany was going to be up in December for a few days. Unless there is something I don't know or people are fucking with me, it is a fact that Brittany told me 1st out of our old group that she was coming. I told others Alexis including if I'm not mistaken, she was surprised. Then of course she was excited too. So yeah there's that. I mean why else would I be the first out of our old group? I don't know what goes on behind the scenes unless I'm included or if I decided to involve myself because some shit is going on, I don't know. What I do know is that she wouldn't have told me first if she didn't come to me almost every day while she was having a hard time with the move. Now on to when it all began. December came around. I believe it was a week or two before Christmas. The time that she was supposed to come rolls around. Once she gets here, I don't hear from her for days. Which is alright. I don't really care. Last thing I want to do is pressure people. As a matter of fact, when I heard from her it was the night of a Christmas party that we were both invited too by Todd. She went. I however did not. Why? Because again I'm not a big group person. Everyone was going to be drinking. Again, I don't have a problem with that. I have more of a problem of being the odd man out sometimes because of me but others because I just don't have anything in common with people also because I have a history of driving people away apparently and I don't care what anybody says. History has a factor to do with it. History will always have a factor to do with anything. So before she went out and besides I was having a bad night with my old man and my stepmom, we made arrangements for a quick lunch the next day. To have a couple of hours together before she took off for Houston. I wake up the next day, I get ready…. again. Although I'm not doing anything fancy. I head downtown. I take a quick walk around the capitol and I'm on the phone with my sister. It was a normal conversation. All was good. Here is where it began. Throughout the morning, I was trying to get ahold of her. I gave the space so I'm not doing it every five minutes. I was trying to get ahold of her for the time. I don't want to be late or nothing. Just like my father always does. Of course, I didn't hear from her at all that morning. I head to Bikinis (at the time I called it BKs because I didn't want to sound like a pervert. I don't know why. It's just me. It's an anxiety problem. Besides I wasn't like other scumbags who went in and treated them like sex objects. I was weird in a different way, but I wasn't a scumbag. Shit why would they even tell me things that they would have to put a smile on otherwise. Because that's who I ‘am. Loving good ol everybody's best friend Sky. Looking back now there were some, not all but some who I thought were fucking gorgeous and sexy. Those are the ones who I didn't talk to a lot or haven't kept in touch with in years. That's fine. Those however who I became close and tight with like My Homegirl Acacia and Karen who as of right now are the only two I keep in touch with the most out of anybody they were beautiful especially personality wise.) I went to have a drink. It was dead that day. It was just My Homegirl at the time Tina and Elissa working. Todd was managing. I went to hang out with Tina for a little while. Tina was the first person I befriended back in the day. Yes, she was gorgeous and attractive. I'll admit that. However, because I was trying so desperately hard to make friends and not lose them especially in a city that I was still trying to get used too even though it's been 3 years since I moved there at the time. Here is where it all began. I was talking with Tina. It was about 2:30pm. I went to the bathroom to take a leak. Of course, thank god, I can leave my stuff behind the bar. It’s what happens when I take care of my people. I get special privileges that no one else gets. I'm in the bathroom for about a minute and then I come out. My phone Buzzes. I get it out and I check it. It was a message. Are you ready for this? Are you sure? Last chance? Ok here it is. It was Brittany. I check the message and here's what it said. The message was:

“Hey Bubs, I just woke up. I’m going to have to postpone again. My grandma is in the hospital and I need to head back. I'm so sorry. I promise you we will have a rain check.”

 I'm not sure and I don't remember the exact message. If I did I would Reedit it. So, I apologize if well yes….no shots at anybody. It was close but I know for a fact that I don't remember the exact words. However, I then thought to myself well wait a minute. Something isn't right. There were some red flags. Number 1, I saw that she was up all morning. I don't even have to look on IM on purpose to see that she was on too. Second, I have sources who confirmed with me that she was at Target. Third if I remember correctly there was even a pic of her at Target. Don't hold me to that. It's not for certain. But the point is, I caught her in a lie. A couple lately plus when it happens more than once, something is not right. So yes, I got pissed. I told her how I felt. I was mad for a little while. Oh, if you think that's the moment where I got even worse, I haven't even gotten started yet. So, a month later comes, I meet with Alexis for lunch one day. To talk about it. I don't necessarily remember why. Looking back at it now, I didn’t necessarily remember why I needed too but unlike back then, now I'm not stupid. Now I'm a lot smarter than what a lot of people think I' am. However, it happened. So, what happened was at the time before Alexis and I had it out for one another, we were tight. Believe you and me, we went at it. A lot. I wasn't always right but I damn sure wasn't always wrong. She wasn't always wrong but she damn sure wasn't always right. That's not what this chapter is about. See part 2. Now back to the current time, Alexis was right about somethings. Now unless she was covering Brittany’s Ass which honestly, I would not be surprised, she did clarify the grandmother side. At the time before Alexis and I had our little situation, she was somebody who I always listened too. Alexis also told me about this little Movie/Documentary called The Secret. It was about how if you put your mind to it and fight the dark and think positive, then good things will happen. Now by no means am I saying she's wrong. It was a great movie. However, I tried it (multiple times and it didn't work). There's a lot of things that people don't understand. Like I said earlier, when more tough times than pleasant have happened…...consistently, then after a while as you get older, it gets harder to trust everything and everyone. It's not impossible to get that under control but it will not get easier. Also, growing up whenever you suffer a lot. Your home life is fucked up, people are treating you different in school, etc. all while going through said fucked up home life where your mom was unstable a lot, mentally abuses you, and forces you to be positive to shut you up or otherwise I would be in trouble. Really? Like you think that's going to help? When I'm suffering, you get frustrated because you don't know what to do…. well to anybody going forward who says that to me or anybody, here's my advice……..

1. When we say we just need you to shut the fuck up and listen for once and let us have our moments, then shut the fuck up…... let us talk. Let us vent and let us have our moments. Don't force anything down our throats. We will get over it. When you come to us, we don't judge. We let you have your moments of just letting it out. Let us have ours. When we need help, we will come to you. The biggest thing is when we are backed into a corner, the biggest help is you shutting the fuck up and give us a safe place to let it out for once.

2. When you say it's frustrating that you don't know what to do, that's not helping. It's an excuse and a way to shut us up. You think that's going to help? No that's worse. Unconditional love and support.

3. Take some goddamn accountability for once. Don't put it on us all the time. I cannot stress that enough. When we're the ones who always admit when we are wrong even if we are not at fault, look yourselves in the mirror as well. We can't control you. We can however damn sure call you out. And if we see the evidence, and it's right there in front of our eyes, take responsibility. Don't hide. It's called being a coward.

4. Again, unconditional love, support, and respect. Not everybody to me at least applies to this but a lot do. When we constantly do the best we can to be there for others, help them, talk to them, let them have their voices, etc. We don't ask for much but the same thing in return. When others need something and we are always there or try to be, all we ask is the same. Is that wrong? I don't think it's wrong at all. But that's just me. I'm not the millions and millions of people here on this planet. I'm not god. I'm not the leader. Trust me if I was this world would be a better place.

That's that. So, any who, I watched it from start to finish. It was good. So afterwards and this is where it really starts. I got me a juice from the store. I came home. Sat at my desk. Turned on AC/DC. Rocked out. I got on my laptop and I went on to order some flowers to surprise her at her new job. To say hey no hard feelings. I paid good no I mean damn good money to have them sent to her. I even specifically told the flower guy to follow the instructions. Do not fucking reveal my identity and yet the motherfucker did. Either that or she went ahead and read it anyway. This is where it started. I'm at work the day it happened. I get a message. It's from her. Unfortunately, it wasn't what I expected. It was the opposite of what I was expecting and yes hoping for. Again, because unless Alexis was covering for her ass which at this point I wouldn't be surprised about and yes wouldn't even be mad about, I wanted to say hey I'm sorry for being a prick. This however is where it got worse. So instead of just a thank you and hey business as usual, I kind of get bitched at. I get that ok maybe it wasn't the best idea now but back then I didn't know any better. I said I did know better but I didn't. My intentions were to do something nice to say hey I'm sorry for being a prick. My intentions were in no way, shape, or form to say hey I want to fuck you. I get where maybe yes now it kind of gave that vibe. Back then I didn’t know any better. So yes, I lost it. It gets worse in 2016 but again this wasn't the only situation I dealt with and I will continue to speak that until people do get it. Anybody who thinks that this was the only situation I dealt with, then yes, I'm going to say it that you are a moron. Also, I don't care what you think. The difference is, lately I'm now starting to realize that I wasn't completely innocent in this situation either but I’ll get to that here in a minute. I got angry because of two reasons. 1. I don't like it when people are not honest with me and not straight with me. I'm not perfect but if people are straight and honest with me. Yes, I might get anxious. Yes, I might get mad but you know what it's more at myself. Because yes, I know better for the most part. Somethings I just plain and simple don't know shit. However, I'm always willing to learn. Also, if anybody knew what I grew up with then you would know too. 2. All I wanted was a simple conversation. Yes, looking back at it yes, I was overwhelming. Overwhelming with the way I acted. The truth is I wasn’t able to learn easily the right way how to deal with situations growing up. I did learn but I had to learn the hard way. As I’ve grown over time, all I ask for is honesty. I’m a big boy. I’ll get over it. About a couple of nights later, I went to Frank Erwin Center (our home arena for basketball). Other little-known fact, she started temporarily started supporting my guys. I never even asked. She did and it was great because the beginning of that season, we were doing well. Very very well. Well after the situation started and once we started struggling, I set her notes on fire. Posted a video of it (Took it down shortly after). All because I started to blame her for every time we lost the rest of that season. I mean it’s crazy but it’s true. Cause it did feel like our season that year went downhill ever since that situation started. Was it wrong? Yes, it was wrong for me to do that and blame her. The feelings were valid because my feelings were hurt. Even after she fucked up first, I also screwed up. I mean ill address this again here in a little while. The feelings were valid and are still valid on both sides. Yes, I was overwhelming back then but because I had a lot to learn and I didn’t know as much during that time that I know now. Also, a lot of things that people still don’t get. I still have a lot to learn today. We all do but I have gotten better and I felt like I’ve grown as a person. That doesn’t make me a bad person though. My feelings were valid because again look at the beginning. The flowers as well even though again I understand that maybe to her new coworkers that it gave off the impression that I wanted to sleep with her (which obviously I didn’t), I did it because I wanted to apologize for the way I acted. At least I didn’t buy her jewelry, chocolates, or a fucking stuffed bear. I could have but I didn’t because I’m a lot smarter that people think I’ am. The fact that if everything else I’ve done for her wasn’t a problem, why were the flowers? It makes sense now kind of. So yes, I blamed her, I called her a curse, I blamed her and that situation for being the cause of everything else that has happened over the past 2 and a half years of my life. Setting her notes on fire in front of Frank Erwin and posting a video bout it to send a message which I took down shortly after was clearly not the answer and to some it made me look insane. But before I get to that and by the way, few weeks ago after an unexpecting betrayal by two of my former best friends, I tried it again. I’m going to put the message that I made for her on here but before I do that, again number 1 this wasn’t the only one. Do I regret being a shittalker and opening my mouth in front of everybody that we both know? Absolutely. 100 percent. It should’ve been between just us. However again there is still a lot about me and my life and situation that not a lot of people know about including her. Even though my feelings are and were 100 percent valid and not a damn thing is going to make me think otherwise, it’s not an excuse for some of the shit I did. Yes, I have a confession, there have been times here and there really since November of last year when I did try to make peace because at the end of the day I don’t want problems with anybody. However, as I start to realize more and more, I do have a lot of regret. Sometimes my conscious haunted me in my sleep. Sometimes even when I’m busy like with a lot of things, I have flashbacks about it and some of our greatest memories. Have you all seen shows on tv that sometimes there will be scenes where you are somewhere and a flashback of anything from that place or who you are with happens then it takes you back to the current time? Yes, that’s me right there. Happens to me. I have felt a lot of times that the last two years, the hell that came along with it were because of my actions in this dilemma. Now everything else that happened in other areas, I stand by it but this situation some of the things I did.... I was wrong. If there is one thing that people should know, when I’ am wrong I will admit it and I know when I’m wrong. In this situation, we both fucked up. She has nothing to apologize for. She did last year when I was at my worse due to the situations with my family and everywhere else. Speaking of that, last year because of my situation with my home life all that will be discussed about here shortly in the next two chapters, when the beginning of my family dilemmas first started.... I started losing it on the inside and I confronted her for the first time since March of 2015. Of course, she apologized but before she revealed that I need to live a Brittany free life, she said she doesn’t keep in touch with a lot of people from Austin which obviously that was a lie at least from what I noticed etc. Everything else she was right on the money. It was wrong of me for some of the things I’ve done. At the end of the day, I want her to be happy and I wish her nothing but the best. Also, if it absolutely matters most, if she ever needed my help in a dire situation, I hope she knows that I will be there unconditionally. Before I end this chapter with the message of my final attempt to make things right but the right way, to anybody I may have annoyed with it etc., sincerely from the bottom of my heart I do apologize. Now without a doubt to put a close on this. Here is the final attempt message I wrote for her just a few weeks ago and then I recorded it just for her, but privately:

    Hey Britt

        Ha-ha how are you doing?

     Yes, I know it’s a surprise me doing this

        Especially because the last conversation we had necessarily didn’t go well

        I know what you are going to say about the I need to Live a Brittany free life.

        You are still right

     However, I’m here tonight because I’m done messaging but I’m also done running.

    It’s time I own up to my mistakes. It’s why I feel like I have some unfinished business only this time i do it the right way and I don’t run and be afraid. Because lately my conscious has been haunting me because of a lot of things that people still don’t understand and don’t know about

  Yes, you are also right. You have your life. I also have mine.

 That’s fine

That’s never been the issue

The matter of keeping in touch was never an issue and if it was or if I made it feel that way, I apologize sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

At this point I don’t have any with you at all.

I forgive you. I forgave you awhile back after what has been a second consecutive year of hell. A summer of hell where my family fell apart

At this point you have nothing to apologize for

Now it’s my turn

Before I do that

I want you to know

I’m not doing this for any other reason but to make some of my wrongs right. I’m doing this to clear my head, my conscious and my heart.

Whatever happens happens

Whether you believe me or not.

That’s fine

I’m not asking for your forgiveness.

I’m not asking for you to feel sorry for me

I’m not asking for anybody to do that at this point cause honestly that’s not an issue

There’s more to my story that I’m learning more and more of.

No matter what I’m still going to be me

However, the only thing I’m asking is if you please find it in your heart to understand and believe me when i say that this has not been on my mind a lot since summer in 2015 and then since we last talked spring of last year.

There is a lot that happened in other areas that you do not know about.

Which is why I kind of lost myself. Which is why I was not in a good place mentally and I was hurting in my heart.

It’s also why I’ve done shit I’m not proud of including during our little situation. Which I will get to here in a minute.

As time went on and more happened, I began to lose myself more. However, I’ve also learned more about myself and became more confident to be proud of myself and to accept myself especially recently after the betrayal of two of my former best friends.

Hence the last two years and then some throughout my entire life are why i have decided to write a book on my life up to this point. Because again there are a lot of things people including you do not understand about people like me and again then some

I wanted to wait until the book to give a more grown up apology but I’m done waiting. So here it is

 Brittany,

    I’m here to tonight whether you still hate my guts or not to finally admit my wrongs. I’m not asking for us to be friends again. I’m not perfect but I did the best I could. I’m not a bad person but I know I’m in no means a golden boy Angel. I’ve done a lot of shitty things. I’ve also done a lot of good. I don’t think what others including you think. I don’t see what they see. I don’t witness what they witness. I don’t hear what they hear. Likewise, on the other end with me. I know I said a lot of shitty things. I blamed you for my guys struggles two years ago after you temporarily supported them before our situation. I called you a curse. I know there is a possibility that people may have talked. If they did well then, they were right. It’s why I’ am here tonight to tell you that despite some of my feelings that I felt from my point, how I did it was no excuse. It’s not who I’ am. I was raised better than that and looking back at it now I did know better. You are not a bad person. You are not a shitty person. I know that I was overwhelming with my whole family instantly crap when we first met. I know I was overwhelming with a lot of things. For that I’ am sorry. I’ am sorry for all the pain, stress or just anything in general that I have caused you during this situation. If there’s one thing I can thank you for, it is the beginning of a journey to make me even more stronger and better. By no means are you at fault for anything. Not for my guys struggling. Not for the last two years. None of it. I said all of that after the flower incident because I didn’t know better. I was just trying to do something nice after the first time. Back after the end of 2014. I still had a lot of anger in my heart and a battle within myself that I’ am still fighting every day, I’m not going to get into it right now. See my book when it is done. I still got a long way to go but as far as this chapter of my life goes, I’ am a man of my word when I say I have nothing bad to say about you. Not now, not ever, not in the book. I know I did during our situation. No matter what I felt during our situation, it is absolutely no excuse for some of things I’ve done and some of the things I have said. No one is perfect. I damn sure am not. You are a wonderful human being Brittany, you are full of light and gold. I’ve enjoyed some of the good moments we’ve had. You are a good person. I regret everyday some of the things I’ve done in so many areas including this one. I think you are a beautiful soul. I know I was overwhelming with my too attachment problem and my negativity. The attachment thing comes from while I was growing up with my conditions etc., Mental, and psychical, I didn’t have a lot of friends. I was at the bottom of the totem pole, bullied, etc. Taken advantage of because of my situation. Never good in groups, hence its why I didn’t show up to the Christmas party.   Growing up my home life back in Missouri was absolutely no help at all either. That’s all I’m going to get into regarding that for now. It will all be in the book in due time. That being said, no matter what has happened or what is about to happen, I accept it. I have for a while. Like I said I’m done hiding and I ‘am done running from who I ‘am. If fate one day has a plan for us to be friends again or acquaintances, then two things. One I hope I can have the opportunity to show you the real me. Cause one thing I will say is this negative side of me, I don’t like it. People say I love it but I don’t but again I hate it more than anything. However, one more time more will be in my book when it is done. But when more tough times than pleasant have happened, you start to lose trust in a lot of things. Everything and everyone. It’s not impossible to make it a little better and get it under control but it doesn’t get easier. Hence its why I used to be always eager for the perfect moment. All I wanted from the very beginning was just a fair chance to talk. I know I was overwhelming and you had every right to run. As time passed on, its why here we are here tonight. I ‘am here. A humble 23-year-old about to be 24 come July. With Asperger’s and a little bit of autism, both very high functioning by the way. That doesn’t mean I ‘am capable of doing something like this cause trust me if I wasn’t capable, I wouldn’t be here tonight doing this but here I ‘am. Right now, I have been trying to right all my wrongs because it just feels like I can never do anything right. I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t. Right now, yes I ‘am more scared than ever. I’m even scared right now doing this. But I ‘am doing it to show that I still have balls and courage to stand up. Stand up for me but also own up to my mistakes. Right now, this isn’t easy. Right now, because of yet another situation. I ‘am scared and yes I do feel alone. But I’m done running. Then two, it would be an honor if when my book is done, that you would read it. I’ am doing it to take a stand for people like myself and just anybody who in general is struggling. Shit if you are struggling, then it would be perfect for you as well I’ am sorry from the bottom of my heart for some of the things I have said. Some of the things you have heard. Some of the things you may have seen. The stress I have caused you. The amount of times I may have overwhelmed you. I’m just from the bottom of my heart as a very humble man here tonight one year later after not being in a very good place in my head and my heart, very very sorry. Despite what I felt, despite the battles that I’ am still battling everyday etc., it is no excuse for some of my wrongs. That’s why I mean what I say. I know that I’ve messaged you here and there trying to apologize but hearing it from my voice is different than reading something. Last but not least and this is something I’ve told anybody in general, should the universe plan for us to be friends again and to heal the wounds, if there is an issue that you have with me, please don’t be afraid to confront me. There are a lot of things that while I’m not willing to change such as being afraid to have my voice and then some, I never want to be intimidating towards anybody who has a problem with me. I’m here to listen and while I’m not perfect, I will do my very best to work on it and to continue to be the best version of myself I can be. If I do get mad, its mad at myself. Because i do know better but also because I’m trying to beat the constant thought that I’ve had through my entire life of I’m not good enough and I can never do anything right. That is why I’ am having the courage and the confidence to do this here tonight (list current time) May 5th, 2017 for you to hear it from me. From my voice. No matter what happens next, I’m still going to live my life. I’m still going to be ok. I’m still going to be me. Why? I’ve been through worse and I’m still standing. Before I move on with the next phase of my life after what was recently due to another setback that involved my former best friends that cost me my job and that temporarily put me back in that not so good place, I had some unfinished business but this time now that time has passed. For me to do it right. Brittany, no matter what happens and no matter what has happened, I still think you are a wonderful human being with a heart of gold. Even though you may hate me, I still love ya. I have nothing but love and respect for you. I think about ya once in a while. I hope you are doing wonderful. You deserve nothing but the best. I forgive you. I forgave you after I started phase 1 of starting over which I will get into should we have a catch-up heart to heart. Key word should we. No pressure whatsoever. Shit I’m not even asking for a response. All I ask is that you hear me out. Despite everything, it is no excuse for me acting like giant asshole. And I have to live with that and a lot of others for the rest of my life. Don’t ever change. Be yourself. I hope you are doing wonderful. One more time I ‘am very sorry from the bottom of my heart. I wish I could say more. But this is the best I can do yes even though I’ve tried to message you a few times here and there. But I didn’t do it the right way. This time I ‘am. Thank you for taking the time here tonight to listen to this and hear me out. I hope this shows you how serious and how much I mean everything I said. I do not expect you to trust me. No matter what, again I ‘am not asking for us to just be besties again. I know better now. No matter what happens again, I’m going to be ok. I have my life. You have yours. I still have a long way to go to getting better but I feel like I’m getting better. One more time before I figure out the next phase, I ‘am doing this for no other reason than to right some of my wrongs because I do still feel like I’ am a curse to myself and people around me. Thank you again. God bless you. Give Kenya my love for me. And I hope you are doing wonderful. Take care of yourself old friend

[gregorycpeters]

6 things to do in Central Austin this weekend, May 13-14

Saturday, May 13 | Dell Seton Medical Center Open House The Dell Seton Medical Center open house takes place Saturday, May 13. Seton Healthcare Family and Ascension Health invite the community to preview the new teaching hospital, Dell Seton Medical Center at The University of Texas. The open house includes behind-the-scenes tours, simulations, family activities and live music. Open May 21, the hospital replaces University Medical Center Brackenridge and is anticipated to serve as Central Texas’ only adult Level I Trauma Center. 1-5 p.m. Free. Dell Seton Medical Center at The University of Texas, 1500 Red River St. 512-324-0987. www.seton.net […]

http://ift.tt/2q6YY7T

[violetcrownchronicles]

Razor Presented, Screams - Barbecue - A Certain Sum of Money - Children Orphaned

2 MAY 1885. Austin Daily Statesman.

MORE MISCHIEF BY THE NIGHT PROWLERS -- HURLING STONES AT HOUSES, SCARING THE SERVANTS. And Making the Night Hideous -- When Will It End? -- Several Arrests.

Nocturnal outrages have become too common to excite much comment or surprise. The ruffians continue to paint the town red in their own peculiar and diabolical way. It is the same old story -- the room of a servant girl or cook entered at a late hour of the night, a pistol or razor presented, screams, threats of killing, more screams, the master of the house aroused in time to see the ruffian run away, and prolonged screams.

It is a singular circumstance that not a single one of these brutes has been harmed. The Statesman has time and again spoken of the necessity of keeping firearms, in order to give them a warm reception, and yet, night after night, they keep up their attacks on the serving women, with the utmost impunity. Their luck in escaping, so far, has not been the result of any lack of recklessness. 

At 4 o’clock, yesterday morning, the residence of Mr. R.W. Finlay, who live just north of the Governor’s Mansion, was invaded by a big black fellow, who went to the room occupied by the cook, and demanded to be let in. Mr. Finlay’s room looked out on the servant’s apartment, and being awakened by the noise he went to the window where he had a fair view of the intruder, as the moon cast a bright light over every thing outside. He yelled at the fellow to leave. He should have poured some lead into him, but unluckily had no gun. The gentleman sought his bed, but was not long afterwards aroused a second time by the outcries of the cook. The audacious scoundrel had come back a second time, and tried to effect an entrance.

At Mr. Donnan’s residence on Lavaca street, not far from Mr. Finlay’s, a huge stone was hurled at the kitchen window shattering the sash and smashing the glass to atoms. A big white hat was picked up in the adjacent alley next morning.

The next episode was at the house of Mr. J.M. Brackenridge, at 405 West Mesquite.

This gentleman was awakened by a noise in the yard, and, looking out, saw his cook, an elderly colored woman, engaged in a struggle with a burly negro. The woman was clinging to him with desperation, but at some noise made by Mr. Brackenridge, he freed himself from her grasp and fled, leaving his coat in the hands of the cook. A rusty black hat was also picked up near the scene of the struggle. In the coat were $2.35 in money, a knife, drink check and several other articles. This fellow also came back and instituted a vigorous bombardment, both of the room of the woman and of the main house, with rocks. The cook said the fellow had got into her room, demanded money, and threatened to kill her, when she jumped up and caught hold of him.

Many people must have been aroused between one and two o’clock by a rapid discharge of firearms on Rio Grande street, near its intersection with Pecan. This time it was at the residence of Mr. J.H. Robinson. Some outhouses occupied by colored women were visited, window panes broken in, and the inmates frightened nearly to death. Their screams aroused the family. Mr. James D. Sheeks fired a couple of times at the retreating form of a man, and “Red,” a hackman who lived nearby emptied his pistol at another one. Neither of the shots took effect. Mr. Sheeks thinkg the man fired back once as he ran off. The home of Mr. Lawrence, on West Mulberry, did not escape the gang, but here again the intruder got off. Several other places shared a similar experience, but it is monotonous to recount them all.

It will be remembered that a couple of hats, a coat and its contents were found on the premises of Mr. Brackenridge. The contents were identified and claimed by Dock Tobin, a colored barkeeper of the First Ward, yesterday. The white hat also belonged to him. The things had been stolen from his house.

Later in the day, Seageant Chenneville arrested two negroes, Andres Jackson and Henry Wallace; suspicion pointed to them in connection with the performances of the previous night. Charges of vagrancy were preferred against both. It is thought that while they may have had something to do in the deviltry, that the main perpetrator is still at large. In the meantime, the advice is again proffered to everybody: Keep loaded firearms where they can be got at handily. 

AROUND AUSTIN.

There will be a grand barbecue at the iron bridge, across Big Walnut creek, eight miles north of town today. Two granges unite and a big time is expected. A number of Austin people will attend. 

A little white girl about 12 years old presented a note at a certain bank in Austin a few days ago, with the signature of a married lady, asking that a certain sum of money be sent. It was a forgery, but came very near succeeding. She was employed as a nurse by the lady whose name she forged.

Poor Mamie Madden, the unfortunate woman who has been spoken of more than once in these columns, has laid down her burden at last. By her death three little children are left utterly alone in the world. The oldest is a boy of three, and the others -- twins -- a boy and girl, not over two weeks old. Mamie Madden was a woman of refined looks and apparently had seen better days. Perhaps some childless couple might see fit to adopt one of more of these little orphans. They can by found in the immediate vicinity of the city hospital.