#recognition responsive euphoria
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[ID: A screenshot titled "'Recognition Responsive Euphoria' or RRE". The ADHD brain is turned up to 11; our neurotransmitters burn bright. On an emotional level, this means we feel the stabbing pain of rejection, frustration, and failure more acutely than do others. On the flip side, we also experience a meaningful and powerful zing of energy and esteem with every word of encouragement, praise, or approval we receive. The smallest gesture can power euphoria—and great accomplishments—for us. End ID]
other peoples laughter is sweet as nectar and ambrosia... call that acceptance sensitive euphoria
#psa that rsd is not a prerequisite to adhd#although there is significant overlap#and im sure the same holds true for rre#which is probably stronger when rsd is involved#oops forgot to mention that rsd is rejection sensitivity dysphoria#yeah#it sucks also#walk away from a perfectly fine interaction feeling like i suck at life for the next few hours#or remember mistakes and regrets affecting others from years ago like yesterday#and also being fueled by “i cant hang out but i wanna” for days#or “your art looks so good”#adhd#neurodivergence#rejection sensitivity dysphoria#hate always going worst case scenario for no logical reason except “well it COULD be like that...” :(#when it comes to social interactions#recognition responsive euphoria
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Driven by positivity: an alternate spin on neurodiversity
Have you ever come across the phrase “Recognition Responsive Euphoria” in the context of ADHD? I’m hearing it mentioned just a little more often these days, thankfully, but its still not talked about nearly enough, compared to the oft described “Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria” (RSD) that has become almost synonymous with ADHD. Recognition Responsive Euphoria (RRE) is a phrase coined by Dr Edward…
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#ADHD#ADHD lived experience#adult ADHD#articles#autism#criticism and ADHD#encouragement for neurodiverse people#feeling seen and accepted#neurodivergence#people pleasing#praise and encouragement#recognition responsive euphoria#Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria#strength based neurodiversity#teaching and mentoring ADHD
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I think I’m gonna headcanon Subaru as ADHD precisely because of the sweet tooth thing now. Also that’s one more thing he’ll have in common with Yuni
#he's probably not normal anyway#he takes on everyone's expectations and must be the best and get ppl's recognition and approval?#the flip side of rsd#(avoiding rsd; and/or whatever its opposite was called - recognition responsive euphoria?)#(which okay they're both their own separate disorders but they're highly comorbid w adhd bite me i'm counting it)#he NEEDS ppl to like him but also his people-pleasing nature makes ppl like jun not like him (tho jun did come around)#also there's that whole needing an excess of pressure in order to do something#it's just mostly (or at least mostly talked about) w a deadline while it isn't here#his recklessness#he has a voice of reason he just doesn't care to listen to it. if he's never broken any bones it's a minor miracle#maybe he's audhd or something else along w the adhd#he's just the type where ppl might think you're a little weird/different but you mostly fly under the radar#def don't get diagnosed until adulthood if at all. you don't suspect no one else suspects#'oh well he's a volleyball genius - of course…' 'oh well he's mimura subaru - of couse…'#don't think about how that plays into the whole deification (aka 'not human') thing#2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley bu#mimura subaru#2.43#ebw.op
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out of curiosity, if Max doesn’t release its metrics, then what metrics are you actually using to make these statements about the show’s popularity? what does “it’s currently in the 99.7th percentile of the comedy genre, meaning it’s in higher demand than 99.7% of all comedy series in the u.s.” even mean? How are you measuring what’s “in demand” - by who? Where? It’s bold to claim that this show was wildly popular (despite the fact that I never hear about it outside of tumblr, tho that’s a personal anecdote) but cancelled just for being queer, so I would be really interested to know where you’re getting all these numbers from. Thanks!
hey anon! first of all i am so sorry for the delayed response. i started typing something up and then i got distracted with something else and totally forgot about this in my drafts.
sure, i have no problem citing sources. i probably should’ve linked some in my original post, that’s absolutely fair.
this ended up way longer than i planned so bear with me, but a quick overview of what i’ll be going over:
1) what are the stats/where did they come from?
2) how is the show so popular?
3) was it really cancelled for being queer?
(also just a disclaimer that this will contain spoilers for the show)
1) first, the numbers
you’re right that hbo doesn’t release metrics to the public. in fact, ceo casey bloys tried to justify the cancellation to the hollywood reporter by saying “the numbers weren’t there,” despite refusing to say what exactly those numbers were or where they came from.
however, there are websites dedicated to researching/analyzing the data of different media. one of those is parrot analytics, who focus on industry insights like audience demand, competitive analysis, and content valuations. they’re trusted as a reliable source by forbes, the new york times, reuters, the wall street journal, and more.
this is what we can learn from them about our flag means death from a basic google search (note that all of this data is relevant to the last 30 days as of january 26 2024):
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audience demand for our flag means death is now 33.6x greater than the average tv series in the united states. as explained in the “about demand distribution” section, this means it’s one of only 0.2% of all u.s. shows to fall in the “exceptional” performance range compared to the “average” demand benchmark of 64.1%.
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the change in demand for ofmd in the u.s. has increased by 7.5% compared to the average tv series.
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ofmd now actually ranks at the 99.8th percentile in the comedy genre in the u.s. i’m not a math person, but in basic terms, this is like a scale of measuring and comparing performances to create an average score. essentially, ofmd is performing at the very top of all comedy series in the u.s.
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ofmd has 100% home market travelability. as it says above, the market of origin is always 100%, so in fairness i included the graph of international markets for comparison. some of these aren't super high, however (as explained by parrot analytics themselves) one of the key issues with the international market is accessibility to content, which has been an ongoing struggle for international fans. many people (i guess fittingly) have resorted to pirating ofmd because they don’t have access to max or affiliate streaming services in their country.
there are more stats i could have and wanted to go more in-depth into but it would make this even longer than it already is, so i’ll just leave some links you can check out if you’re interested and move on:
• comparison of ofmd's success to shows like ted lasso, euphoria, and peacemaker
• ofmd's placement as #1 most in-demand breakout series in the u.s. for 8 weeks
• ofmd's impressive 94% critics score and 95% audience score on rotten tomatoes
• how ofmd evolved from sleeper hit to a flagship series at max
• a list of ofmd's past and present award nominations/wins
• praise and recognition from news/entertainment sites: the atlantic (2022); the new york times (2023); tv guide (2023); vulture (2023); forbes (2023); the los angeles times (2022); vanity fair (2023)
2) so why haven’t you (or others) really heard of the show outside of tumblr despite all this success? likely because max did a terrible job marketing it.
ofmd first aired on hbo max (pre-merger before it was “max”) in march 2022. the entire season aired over one month, every thursday at 12am pst. season 2 followed a similar release schedule in october 2023.
season 1’s marketing was almost non-existent, pretty much relying on taika waititi’s name being attached. there was one teaser and one full-length trailer, as well as a few clips on youtube of taika and rhys darby answering pirate-themed trivia, all painting the show as a “silly pirate workplace/buddy comedy.” but hbo max didn’t put any real effort in because they didn’t care. david zaslav and the other higher-ups had no faith in the show and expected it to fail.
most people weren’t aware it was actually a romance due to the poor marketing, and although there were many romantically charged scenes between them, many were still wary to believe it wasn’t queerbaiting until ed & stede confessed their feelings and kissed.
showrunner david jenkins has said in interviews that he had no idea how deeply queerbaiting had hurt audiences and impacted their ability to trust what’s on screen without feeling like they’re being ridiculed, despite the fact that he was calling it a love story the whole time. it wasn’t until people realized they weren’t being queerbaited and that it was a funny, sincere show with a compelling plot that word-of-mouth began to spread. by the time the season 1 finale aired, there was a decent-sized fandom that continued to grow as it received more praise.
it was a fight to even get the show renewed for season 2, and david jenkins and the cast have majorly credited that renewal to the unexpected and massive fan response to the show, which basically forced hbo’s hand.
max didn’t bother trying to properly promote the series until season 2, when they begrudgingly accepted that it was one of their most profitable and successful shows. ofmd had huge billboards in times square, downtown los angeles, and on the side of hbo headquarters. they started accurately marketing the show as not just a workplace comedy at sea, but a heartfelt romcom. max began selling long-demanded merch (which became best sellers) and spent money on an FYC campaign.
i will emphasize, whether they liked it or not, they knew ofmd was their new moneymaker (especially with the recent end of succession, which was obviously a cash cow for hbo).
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photo credit: @/bookishtheo
3) now if it was that successful, was it really cancelled just for being queer?
i mean, i can’t say that definitively. no one can. there are several potential factors at play that we may never know, and there have been a lot of rumours and speculation (many of which i don’t feel comfortable discussing in case they aren’t true) since the cancellation.
but do i believe the fact that it’s a queer romcom was one of those factors, especially since max has a history of cancelling and scrapping its most diverse projects? absolutely.
first and foremost, i can’t stress enough that this isn’t just a show with a few characters thrown in for token representation. ofmd is built on a diverse, intersectional cast and narratives, including:
• lgbtq+ representation: 5 main couples are explicitly queer (including mlm, wlw, nblm, and nblw relationships). multiple characters are implied to be poly, and there’s a polycule forming in season 2 that was hinted to be developed more in season 3. beyond relationships, it’s confirmed that (similarly to the way wwdits depicts all vampires as being pansexual) all of the pirates are somewhere on the queer spectrum.
• bipoc representation: the majority of the main cast are people of colour. this includes david fane, joel fry, leslie jones, samson kayo, vico ortiz, anapela polataivao, madeleine sami, samba schutte, ruibo qian, and taika waititi, as well as many guest actors (like rachel house, simone kessell, and maaka pohatu) and extras.
• disability representation: multiple characters have physical disabilities, most notably amputated/prosthetic limbs and visual impairment. a lot (actually most) of the characters also deal with mental health issues, particularly coping with severe trauma and suicidal ideation/behaviour.
• the show has been praised for addressing difficult and serious themes like toxic masculinity, colonialism, and self-discovery, all while still managing to be a witty comedy and not come across as “preachy.”
• the diversity also extends off-screen, with a team of directors, writers, and additional crew comprised of numerous bipoc, women, queer people, and trans/non-binary people.
my point isn’t just the quantity of representation, but the quality. they take great care and respect into every marginalized group depicted on-screen. the actors would often be consulted about their characters’ costumes, hair, tattoos, and the kind of language they use. it’s not a world where discrimination magically doesn’t exist, they just have zero tolerance for it. if a character does something homophobic or racist, you can guarantee they’ll quickly (and often violently) be punished.
so okay, sure, it’s got great representation. what does that have to do max cancelling it?
because they’ve been interfering with production from the start.
i already mentioned the marketing issues so i won’t get into that. it was also revealed in interviews with david jenkins after season 2 that hbo cut their budget by 40%, which is why they had to do everything they could to save money. this included letting go of some of the original cast (and even still having episodes where some of them don’t appear at all) and moving the entire production to AoNZ. the budget cuts also meant two less episodes, so they had to rush to fit an entire season’s worth of plot into eight half-hour long episodes.
but one of the biggest frustrations is hbo’s (alleged) censorship of the show. samba schutte revealed that the entire plot of episode 2x06 was completely different in the original script. before it was rewritten as “calypso’s birthday,” the episode took place during lucius & pete’s wedding and focused on the crew getting sick of the sexual tension between ed & stede and trying to get them to hook up (this aligned with lucius & pete getting engaged and ed & stede deciding to take things slow in the previous episode).
vico ortiz and writer jes tom have also commented that many scenes between jim, oluwande, and archie establishing them as a polycule were cut, including one of the three of them emerging from a bedroom in their underwear. jes has mentioned other elements of season 2 that had to be cut out or rewritten, like the implication of other poly dynamics between the crew and more sexually explicit scenarios and jokes.
considering that ofmd is an extremely sex-positive show that isn’t afraid to be raunchy or taboo, it’s clear that either higher-ups at hbo forced them to cut these things out or they had no choice but to cut them out due to tight budget/time restraints.
in addition to this, a recent article citing an “anonymous insider” has alleged that hbo was uncomfortable with and was unsure how to market the “shock violence” in the show (the same network that aired game of thrones), which david jenkins outright called out as being bullshit. ofmd is rated TV-MA and the posters and trailers all show the audience that it contains violent content. there is literally nothing more graphic in ofmd than any other pirate show — it’s probably a lot tamer than most of them, actually.
violence on the show is most frequently used in a comedic context, in the sense that it’s not meant to be seen as scary or taken seriously. the few instances of serious graphic imagery on the show are meant to invoke a mood shift, like ed’s transformation into the kraken or ned low’s murder. it should also be noted that some of the most graphic deaths are reserved for bigots, like ed snapping the neck of a colonizer who was ridiculing stede’s love letter.
it’s also most often used in a sexual context — not sexual violence, but violence as a sexual metaphor. more specifically the act of stabbing as a metaphor for penetration, as seen with both ed & stede and anne & mary. bearing all this in mind, it seems like the real issue here isn’t executives struggling to market explicit violence to a mainstream audience, but rather explicit gay content.
as much as we joke and affectionately call it the “gay pirate show,” ofmd has always been nothing more than an opportunity for rainbow capitalism for hbo (e.g. the fact that they waited three months to announce season 2 just so they could do it on the first day of pride month). like other cancelled queer media, ofmd was a way for hbo executives to show how “inclusive” and “accepting” they are when it was convenient (aka profitable) for them, but they never actually respected the show or us as a community.
it’s impossible to be certain of what the exact reasoning for cancellation was, especially when they won’t give us a clear answer themselves. and maybe it had nothing to do with ofmd being a queer romcom at all. maybe that’s all a horrible coincidence. but for hbo/max to axe a critically acclaimed and beautifully inclusive show that’s successful by every metric, with an extremely devoted fanbase, especially after casey bloys just had the nerve to ask “gay twitter” to hype up the gilded age? it doesn’t exactly put them in the best light regardless.
in summary, i’ll leave you with this editorial, which details how the campaign to save ofmd isn’t just about one show, but a fight to save the future of all queer art.
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I've had a very bad day and being reminded of this made me feel better.
(Ever had asthma, epilepsy, fibromyalgia, migraine, and seasonal allergies team up on you? Time to hunt down old scenes from my Bayverse Mikey fics and rewrite them until he's covered in Whump.)
Anger + Mikey = What?
I have a deep feeling that the youngest has suppressed anger.
Rage that he never openly expresses because
1. It doesn’t feel great to him
And 2. The emotion itself seemed to cause more problems than help them.
As a result, when things tick him off, he doesn’t openly convey that he is.
Like, you don’t even see his mood change. No hidden hate in his eyes, no muscles tensing, and no lip thinning. Even the tone of his voice hardly changes! Still cheerful and acting like it didn’t happen.
Because that’s what he thinks, if he acts like nothing happen, then nothing happened.
However!
If something finally manages to send him over the edge, he doesn’t explode at all! He just… broods silently.
And let’s just say it freaks his entire family out since the youngest member isn’t running around the lair giggling like some weirdo. Who the fuck is this new guy?
He’s just quiet. He definitely acts like a mixture of all of his brothers.
Passive-aggressive like Donnie. Sarcasm is now Mikey’s middle name. Won’t talk unless spoken to, but it just sardonic remarks that’ll make you feel stupid; even Splinter is not exempted from his rudeness. (He lets it slide since this not a common occurrence.)
He takes a stance similar to Leo. Arms crossed, and he visibly seems unable to relax. Mikey takes to the cake when it comes to projecting hostility without verbal communication, which is something Leo seemed to master when facing off with Raph.
And he is more intense than Raph. It’s not that the second oldest doesn’t have any intensity; it’s only because, with Raph, it happens often and gets irritating after a while. But with Mikey, he scares people by just standing there, radiating extreme rage, and he doesn’t any have to say anything. Sitting was no longer an option for him.
Everyone will avoid him, and it seems they have to try very hard because he just disappears. Gone for hours. Might come back, and if he’s still furious, ends up leaving again and not coming back for two days.
Comes back a little bruise and back to his bubbly self!
Freaks everyone out again due to not talking about what he was doing while gone.
Splinter would sit with him afterward but won’t even get the chance to ask about what set him off before Mikey apologizes for his behavior. After that, Splinter does try to talk to him about it some more, yet is brushed off multiple times and decides that it’d be best to leave it be, leaving him a warning that leniency would not be given to him if it happened again.
Then life carries on, and the brothers always wonder if it even happened since Mikey’s back top pranking them and eating pizza in the living room.
Tagging : @brightlotusmoon, @whygz, @kokokatsworld, and @coulrofilia-sexuell
#reblogging from myself#empath mikey#michelangelo is adhd and autistic like me#tmnt is my hyperfocus#i created this tumblr because of michelangelo#they call me the queen of tmnt mikey whump#i might have been the one who started the psychic mikey headcanons in the 90s#mikey is an iron woobie#ooops i'm going to torment mikey again#big brother raph#raph and his heart#mikey's autism is creative while donnie's is mathematical#adhd raphael is accepted#adhd rejection sensitive dysphoria#adhd recognition responsive euphoria#companion rp#rise and its massive tributes to the whole tmnt franchise#2018 mikey might be psychic#i am still very angry at nickelodeon for cancelling rottmnt in the way it did#let mikey be angry
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CURSED (nsfw)
billie dean howard x gn!reader, word count 1.2k
the premiere of the new season of billie's show gets rescheduled last minute, but you have a way to take her mind off the disappointment.
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A harsh silence enveloped the two of you. You were sitting at the edge of Billie’s bed, and you watched as she set her phone down on the vanity and began to pace the length of the room.
The premiere of her show had been rescheduled on short notice. You were meant to fly out with her tomorrow for press meetings, interviews, every opportunity for recognition Billie deserved for her work. Your suitcases were packed and ready at the foot of the bed.
Billie looked into the mirror of the vanity, sighing as she fixed a non-existent flaw of her eye makeup with the edge of her pale pink acrylics.
You were at a loss for what to do – you had tried comforting her verbally, but she had barely said a word to you in the minutes after receiving the call. She got like this often when she was upset, silent and uninterested and cynical.
You stood from the bed. Tentatively you stepped toward her. You placed your hands on her waist when you came up behind her, resting your chin on her shoulder and watching her reflection in the mirror.
Disappointment swam in her eyes as she stared unfocused into her own reflection. You knew how much she had been looking forward to the premiere. Even if it would take place in a few weeks instead of tomorrow, the two of you had been planning this weekend for months.
“I’m sorry,” you said softly, “that it was canceled. I know how excited you were.”
Billie nodded, taking one of your hands in her own. She offered you a halfhearted smile in the reflection of the mirror. “You didn’t cause it, don’t apologize.”
In response, you pressed a kiss to her neck, the junction where her neck met her shoulder. After a moment you kissed her again, and began to move up her neck, trailing kisses up to her jaw. You felt her relax slightly under your touch, a great sigh leaving her chest.
Billie turned in your arms. She kissed you, bringing a hand up to rest at your jaw and looping her arms around you. The kiss was almost lazy, natural and reflexive to the two of you. You were overcome by the love evident in her touch.
She pulled away only for a moment before capturing your lips again. This time, you felt hunger in her embrace – in the way her lips met yours in a way dripping with desperation, in the way she was backing you towards the bed.
You denied your instinct to let her push you onto the bed – you wanted this, and she did too, but you wanted to give her more. You wanted her to feel the same euphoria she often gave you before herself, especially after the evening’s disappointment. She needed distraction, as was evident in every moment you spent in her arms, and you were always willing to give it.
You turned her, reversing your positions. A look of surprise came over her features as the backs of her thighs pressed against the bed.
You hadn’t said anything, but she nodded at the proposed switch in roles, and when you tried to push her down onto the bed, she let you. Billie pulled you down on top of her, slipping her hands under the hem of your shirt and letting them travel up your back. In a moment of impatience she pulled your shirt off and tossed it to the floor.
You grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head. “Keep them there,” you warned her with a stern look, and she smiled at you in amusement. You hardly ever took dominance over her, it was foreign to both of you, but you were enjoying it.
“This is new,” she taunted, unserious, yet you could see the desire clawing at her through the mask of her ego. “You’re learning, and so well.”
You shook your head, brushing off her comment. You didn’t give her the satisfaction of an answer, pulling off her blouse and attaching your lips to her chest. Her breath caught as you trailed kisses down her sternum, nipping at her chest, leaving marks in your wake as you traveled down her abdomen.
“You’re so beautiful,” you murmured into her skin, and a slight blush overtook her features. She shifted restlessly – her anticipation was evident, beautiful in the fervor with which she needed you. You understood why she was usually so addicted to you underneath her, you were drunk on the power of having her need nothing in the world but you.
You moved between her legs, and instinctively her hips bucked toward you. As you pulled the rest of her clothes off she let out another sigh, this time out of pleasure, out of desire.
With air-light touches you caressed her thighs. Slowly you kissed up the length of them, watching her expression closely. Desperation overtook her features, and her breath was shaky. One of her hands had moved to weave into your hair, a wordless plea for your attention.
Just as she thought relief would finally come between her thighs, you moved away. With a look of satisfaction you climbed back up her body, straddling her, leaning down to kiss her.
“What are you doing?” she asked in a whine. No one ever denied Billie anything, especially you.
You shrugged. You trailed your hand down her abdomen, let it rest at her hip as you watched her squirm. “Beg.”
She scoffed. She shook her head. “I’m not begging.”
With a tantalizing smile you moved your hands away. Her only form of contact was the way you were straddling her. “Prove how much you want this. Beg for it, or you get nothing.”
She sighed, and desire won over her pride, though it was not without a battle of ego. “Please,” she said. “Please, I need this. You know I need this, I need you.”
You considered her words a victory, one of the scarce victories of dominance you took over her. In reward you slipped back between her legs. Finally relief came to her, your tongue sliding through her wetness. Billie moaned, her hips bucking into you again. You held them down, circling your arms around her tense thighs.
You focused yourself on her clit, noting every response her body gave to your ministrations. Her moans, her whines let freely go as you slipped two fingers into her. She gasped, her new grip in your hair tightening dramatically as you set a pace that was quickly ruining her.
Though earlier she had been utterly opposed that you’d made her beg, quiet pleas spilled from her lips as you brought her closer to the edge. Your name on her tongue like a curse, like poison you would drink from the fountain of your devotion.
“Cum for me,” you murmured when she was close, and her body responded immediately – you coaxed her through her climax, the pace of your tongue and your hand working in sequence to prolong it as much as you could for her.
When she came down from it, you pulled away. You laid at her side, pulling her into you to press a kiss to her shoulder and then to her lips, the two of you engulfed in the softness of her newfound peace. Billie relaxed into your embrace, letting you hold her as exhaustion overtook her. Peace found you both in inexplicable wonder, anxiety cursed in your devotion.
#billie dean howard#billie dean howard x reader#ahs#ahs murder house#ahs hotel#american horror story#ahs apocalypse#sarah paulson x reader#cordelia goode x reader#ahs oneshot#ahs headcanon#ahs imagine#ahs asylum#ahs cult#ahs 11#sarah paulson#ahs freakshow#ahs roanoke#ahs red tide#ahs fanfiction#ahs fandom#ahs fanfic
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does he have audhd and alexithymia?
submit your own characters here to be featured!
reason: -He typically jerks away when touched. If he doesn't, his expression becomes very unamused for the duration of getting touched (possibly hinting at touch sensitivity?)
-A major event in his backstory is his anxiety over becoming a storyteller, especially due to his father's discouragement of it (rejection sensitive dysphoria?)
-Often seems a bit insensitive to how others might feel about events in their life which he brings up (alexithymia - low empathy?)
-In the episode "Ghostwriter," there is a scene where he sits and stares into a fire, becoming near-unresponsive to everyone around him. This scene came about because of his father discouraging his storytelling passion and instead telling him to choose a "safer" occupation. (sounds like a shutdown to me)
-A continuation of the above scene shows his father apologizing and encouraging his son's passions, at which he lights up (recognition responsive euphoria?)
-The scene from which the character image comes from could be interpreted as him into dumping about his ideas
-I'm autistic and he's my favorite character, case closed
submitted by @dragonroar87
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I want to see it
cw: depression, substance abuse
She thought she’d escaped notice, losing herself in the crowded hallway and slipping away to splash her face. She’d triple checked the stalls, then locked the main door for good measure. She just needed a moment to gather herself.
Hermione should have known better.
He undid her spell as effortlessly as when he’d caught her unawares at the start of eighth with this new version of himself, one she barely recognized from the boy she’d grown up hating. Silent. Blank. Unwilling to bring any attention to himself. His attempts only served to catch her eyes even more as she tried to puzzle out why she even cared.
She had her own demons.
They stared back at her from within her own eyes. They wore the same clothes and shared the same unruly hair. They kept her awake at night and haunted her during the day. Hermione would throw herself into her studies, and, still, they waited to pounce the moment her mind was left to wander free from the pages of her books.
She tried to ignore them, at first. Then, she’d attempted to exorcise them like real demons, bathing herself in pure waters and breathing in smoke that only made her eyes water and throat burn.
When she’d dared to ask Harry and Ron about how they coped, they’d responded very differently. Harry’s eyes fogged over like he’d gone somewhere else, leaving just his body behind in the room. When he finally returned, his gaze sharpening and focusing on her once more, he shrugged and said he’d left them all behind where they belonged. Hermione wasn’t sure what he meant about that, but perhaps it had something to do with his time with Death.
Did she need to die?
Ron gave her an answer she knew at her core wasn’t the right one, but appealed to her more than she was willing to admit dying did. His solution was found in the bottom of a bottle, drinking enough to deaden the senses. How could demons torment someone who felt nothing?
Drinking didn’t appeal to her, not with the different ways she’d seen other students react under the influence. While Ron was a happy drunk, there was always the risk she’d be one of those angry sods, or, worse, sappy and crying everywhere and in front of anyone.
No. Hermione wanted a more predictable fix.
First, she mastered glamour charms. Glamours to hide, glamours to mask, glamours to perfect every flaw. She’d been so disdainful of other girls over the years, but now she could cast her charms wordlessly and wandlessly with the best of them.
Next, she researched potions: elixirs to induce euphoria, draughts of peace, pain potions, and, yes, the occasional sober-up. She learned and she brewed and she kept a steady supply to rotate through and avoid dependence.
She thought she’d been clever. Nobody noticed her new potions hobby aside from assuming she paid even more attention to that area of study than she ever did before. They did pay compliments to her looks—did she do something new to her hair? What moisturiser did she use? She was safe for the first few months of her new routine. She could look in the mirror and see nothing looking back at her.
Somehow, Malfoy noticed.
He’d gone months without acknowledging her or anyone around him, but now he stared at her with an intensity that should have frightened her. Instead, it only pissed her off. She took to sitting wherever she could to block his gaze. She hadn’t talked to him since their return to school, so her change in seating arrangement didn’t seem to bother anyone.
She’d been slow to gather her things after one lesson, and, when she finally stood up, she realized he had waited for her.
“What happened to your scar?” He pointed a slender finger to his neck, indicating the spot where his aunt had pressed her knife into Hermione. He knew the knife was cursed.
“It’s none of your business, Malfoy,” was all she’d said in response, brushing past him towards the doorway.
He’d breathed in deeply and tutted in recognition. “You’re on a calming potion today. Yesterday, it was euphoria. What’ll it be tomorrow?”
“Sod off.”
So what if he could pick out whatever potion she used off of smell alone. She wished he’d just keep his sharp nose to himself.
Unfortunately, naming her drug-of-the-day turned into a daily exercise of his. Every day, without fail, he’d find a way to drop his infuriatingly accurate deductions. She’d taken to making her own additions to standard ingredients to try and throw him off. Peppermint, thyme, Lady’s Mantle. Her variations brought odd little smiles to his face and he’d hum in what almost sounded like appreciation before guessing correctly yet again.
Worse, her coping methods were starting to fail her.
Despite all her glamour charms, she’d started seeing her scars like phantoms on her skin. She could cast the spells in her sleep and had taken to doing so the moment she awoke before even getting out of bed.
Even her concoctions seemed to be failing her, and she placed the blame squarely on Malfoy. They’d been perfectly fine until he’d woken up from his stupor and started tormenting her with his little game. She shouldn’t have cared so much; she should be floating on clouds, completely at ease with the world around her.
And now, he’d followed her into the bathroom.
“I want to see it,” he said.
“See, what, exactly,” Hermione snapped, looking at him in the mirror’s reflection from where she leaned against the sink.
“The scar Aunt Bella made.” Silvery eyes glinted in the dim light.
“You first.”
She hadn’t expected him to concede. She thought he’d leave, maybe say something spiteful.
Without breaking eye contact, he unbuttoned his cuff and rolled up the sleeve to bare his left forearm. Hermione finally turned around then, if only to get a better look at the Mark still burned into his skin. She’d wondered if it had disappeared over time, or, at the very least, faded.
The skull and snake stood out sharply against his pale flesh, looking as fresh as she imagined it had at the start. She wouldn’t have known. There hadn’t been an occasion for her to see back then. She wouldn’t know now if he hadn’t followed her and she hadn’t taunted him.
She stared and she stared and she stared.
And then he stood in front of her, having walked forward into her space and now holding his arm up in some kind of twisted offering, one that she took without even thinking about it. The moment her fingers touched his skin, he brought his hand up, ignoring her flinch, to push aside her hair and press two fingers against the exact spot where he knew her scar lay hidden. “Here?”
Hermione’s hand rotated so she now gripped his wrist lightly, thumb rubbing circles across the skull’s dome. She dragged her eyes up to look into his and nodded, then she closed them and released her magic.
This time it was his palm against her neck, cupping the curve, and his thumb running along the silvery white cut now visible to his eyes.
Even though she’d dropped her glamours and someone else’s eyes could see her imperfections, the demons in her head stayed quiet. Maybe they sensed their brethren within Malfoy. Maybe they’d return the moment she was alone again. Maybe it was pure shock from his touch, gentle in its study of her.
When his hand slipped away and he stepped back, Hermione prepared for a return to privacy, for his curiosity to be satiated in proof.
He surprised her once again.
He slowly uncuffed and rolled up his other sleeve, shifted his bag more securely on his shoulder, and jerked his head towards the door. “Let’s go, or we’ll be late.”
Within this bathroom where the faucet leaked and the candles flickered, casting shadows against the glass, she stared at Draco Malfoy and chewed her lip in indecision. She couldn’t read his expressions, but she thought his eyes might have softened.
He rolled both sleeves back down and waited for her to recast her glamours, before saying lightly, “Let’s do this again sometime, yeah?”
He walked to the door, holding it open for her even though students passing by double took at the sight of a boy walking out of the girls’ washroom.
Hermione could handle five minutes of mutual vulnerability every now and then. Maybe those five minutes would lengthen into fifteen, then into an hour, and then maybe, just maybe, one morning she’d wake up and not need glamours or potions at all.
She glanced out of the corner of her eye at the boy with his own impeccable mask and starched cuffs. She still thought his nose was too pointy, the pale scruff on his jaw in dire need of a shave.
“Same time tomorrow?”
WC 1494
Prompt taken from Twitter dramioneprompts
Cross-posted on AO3
I place all of the blame of my little jaunt here on all the angst I’ve been reading lately, particularly Colubrina, whose works I’ve been slowly going through on AO3 over the past few days. I typically stick to romantic fluff, but now and then consecutive days of rain puts me in a more subdued mood. Did I mention this is my favorite time of year?
#dramione#dramione prompt#dhr fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#draco malfoy x hermione granger#hermione granger#draco malfoy
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Thank you to everyone who had read my stories and thank you to everyone who had left a kudos, comment or bookmarked them. 500 kudos may be meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but it means the world to me.
(warning for delving into personal stuff involving ADHD)
Writing this story literally changed my life. I'm in my 30s and I have very few friends left. They were all able to move one, but I couldn't. Crippling social anxiety keeps me from going anywhere other than work, so I have no chance to meet new people. I failed out of college a decade ago and only barely managed to scrap together a degree that I have never used. I've been struggling with an ADHD diagnosis that was never properly explained to me and lord knows what else that is still undiagnosed. I masked and crammed myself into a box for so long that for a very long time I didn't know anything about myself. I'm still struggling with finding who I am and what that means after failing at so much else.
But I know this: I love writing. The feeling of people enjoying what I write and the joy of creation feel right in a way nothing else ever has. The joy I feel may be nothing more than recognition responsive euphoria; a little quirk of ADHD where any acknowledgement at all feels like a $1000 high, but I've spent too much of my life trying to disentangle myself from my diagnosis. I don't much care anymore. When I was given a second shot at going back to school for a degree, I waffled a bit on what to shoot for. But writing stories online convinced me to try for an English degree, on the creative writing track.
Maybe it's all for nothing. Maybe I'll never use it. Maybe I'm wasting my chance on a passing fancy. It's hard not to think that, given the pattern of my life.
But then again... maybe not.
Thank you for reading.
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Me, commenting on a fanfic: "I love how you're using this really specific idea!"
The author: "Actually, funny you're commenting, I got inspired by your specific fanfics to apply similar concepts! Hello!"
Me: "Holy shit that's awesome, let me know if you need help!"
I think I got recognition response euphoria.
Way back when, I remember how someone got angry when another fic writer wrote a fic saying they were directly inspired, because they didn't ask permission. I remember thinking, "why would they need to ask you permission to feel inspired by you?"
Actually, since 2016 I've noted that my headcanons and themes have quietly seeped into the TMNT fandom on Tumblr, and I'm cool with it, it's kind of what I was hoping for in 2003.
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Hello all!
I've found that my experiences with kin don't quite seem to align with a lot of other people's, and, while I know that this is a subjective experience, I was wondering if detailing my experiences might help to elucidate what is going on for me. Even if there isn't a label, I'm still comfortable under the otherkin and alterhuman umbrellas ✨️
I don't quite feel the same level of identification that others feel with their kintype. I don't see him and feel a response of recognition - it feels less that I am him, but more that he is me. My kin is primarily psychological, and I later adopted the more spiritual side of the beliefs here. I do possess memories, but they are very brief snapshots in time of events - walking down a hallway and trailing my fingers along the wall, vague recollections of what flight felt like, nothing highly specific. I do have a sense of longing for the location he lived in, but not for anyone he knew (with the homesickness of sorts being attributed to a personal trauma response as I've discussed this in therapy, but it feels worthwhile to mention in this discussion).
Something also worth mentioning - while I do not have DID, I did (and potentially still do?) experience dissociation. The very first experiences I had were quite intense and I likened them to feeling possessed, though with less loss of control and more experiencing thoughts and emotions that did not belong to me. As time went on, I became more acquainted with this part of myself and the episodes became a lot less distressing as time went on. My analogy is that, if I were driving a car, the first episodes felt like me controlling the gas and brakes while someone else tried to take the wheel from me, while now they feel like I'm taking driving directions from a trusted friend.
At some point in the turmoil, I recognized the bundle of thoughts and feelings as the kintype I currently identify with (as?). I use his name offline in my life and feel a euphoria I cannot fully name when I am in full cosplay as him. He has insect characteristics (antennae and butterfly wings) and I notice a lot of the euphoria fades when I'm not wearing them, though in canon he was certainly nothing short of a misanthrope who took great pride in his insect nature.
It also feels worth mentioning, I am a semi-active member of the self ship community, and had been shipping with my kintype (as the human I currently am) for what had initially been coping purposes.
I suppose I feel less personal recognition, and almost as though I possess two souls, his and my own. What I had later called kinshifts had been so clearly delineated to me at first, but now I feel a sort of harmony with this.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I'm open for questions, if need be.
#i have suspected multiplicity but am interested in other opinions; at the end of the day it's all subjective anyways#otherkin#fictionkin#alterhuman#psychological kin#spiritual kin#tagging for visibility.. i am still fairly new to the terminology here and am curious but also know that a label isn't strictly necessary#🦋 musings 🦋
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Future of Secure, Customizable, and Green Courier Bags by Euphoria Pack
Since its inception in 2012, Euphoria Packaging Private Limited has been at the forefront of innovation in the packaging industry. Established with a clear focus on addressing the diverse needs of the packing sector, the company has grown to become a dominant manufacturer of high-quality and reliable packaging solutions. Euphoria Packaging stands out for its wide array of products, from eco-friendly courier bags to secure bank deposit bags, all designed with functionality, sustainability, and customer satisfaction in mind.
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PHONE : 8652880000
EMAIL : [email protected]
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Modern Courier Solutions: How Euphoria Packaging is Innovating
In today’s fast-paced world, where e-commerce and logistics drive much of the global economy, packaging plays a pivotal role in ensuring goods are delivered safely, efficiently, and sustainably. Euphoria Packaging has emerged as a trailblazer in this space, redefining courier bags to meet the evolving needs of modern businesses and consumers alike. By blending innovation, functionality, and sustainability, Euphoria Packaging is setting a new benchmark for the courier and logistics industry.
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The Modern Challenges of Courier Packaging
As online shopping continues to grow exponentially, so does the demand for reliable and efficient courier solutions. However, traditional courier bags often fall short in addressing several key issues:
Environmental Concerns: The widespread use of single-use plastics in courier packaging contributes to global pollution and waste.
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Euphoria Packaging has identified these challenges and developed cutting-edge solutions to address them comprehensively.
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Addressing Modern Business Needs
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Why Do I Get Goosebumps When Listening to the Quran?
If you've ever asked yourself, "Why do I get goosebumps when listening to the Quran?", you're not alone. Many people experience a deep, physical reaction when they hear the recitation of the Quran, whether they understand Arabic or not. It’s a profound feeling that goes beyond words, often giving rise to goosebumps, chills, or even tears. But why does this happen? Let’s explore some of the reasons behind this emotional response.
The Power of Sound and Recitation
One of the primary reasons why you might get goosebumps when listening to the Quran is the unique nature of its recitation. The Quran is not just a book of spiritual guidance; it’s also a collection of beautiful, rhythmic verses that are meant to be recited out loud. The melodic patterns, pauses, and intonations are designed to touch the heart.
The Arabic language, especially in its Quranic form, has a mesmerizing sound that can evoke strong emotions. The intricate patterns and rhythms used by skilled reciters have a way of resonating deep within us, often triggering a physical response like goosebumps. This effect is not just psychological—it’s physiological. The vibration of sound waves can stimulate the body's nervous system, leading to the sensation of goosebumps.
Spiritual Connection and Reflection
Another reason for this reaction could be the deep spiritual connection that many people feel when listening to the Quran. The Quran is considered the direct word of God, revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). For believers, it carries a sense of divine presence. The words have the power to evoke feelings of awe, humility, and closeness to God.
When you hear certain verses that speak directly to your heart or address life's profound questions, it can trigger a sense of spiritual awakening or realization. This emotional connection can lead to a physical reaction, like chills or goosebumps, as a sign of the heart being moved by the divine message.
The Impact of Understanding and Reflection
While the sound of the Quran alone can affect listeners, understanding the meaning behind the verses can deepen this experience. Many people report that when they begin to understand the words, the feelings become even more intense. Reflecting on the verses about life, death, the universe, and the afterlife can stir a range of emotions, from hope to fear, love to gratitude.
It’s not uncommon for people to feel their hearts soften or become more receptive when they listen to a powerful recitation. Some scholars explain that this reaction is the soul’s recognition of divine truth. Even if you don't fully understand Arabic, the sincerity and emotion of the reciter can convey the message's depth, touching your heart and soul.
Scientific Perspective: The Role of the Brain
From a scientific standpoint, this reaction can also be explained by the brain's response to certain stimuli. Listening to a beautiful recitation can stimulate the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This release can create a feeling of euphoria, which sometimes manifests as goosebumps.
Additionally, researchers have found that music and rhythmic sounds can activate the limbic system, the part of the brain involved in emotional responses. Since Quranic recitation has musical elements—like pitch variation and rhythm—it can trigger a similar emotional response, resulting in chills or goosebumps.
Finding Comfort in Divine Words
For many, listening to the Quran is also a source of comfort and solace. In times of distress or uncertainty, the recitation can bring a sense of peace and tranquility. This comforting effect can produce a physical reaction, as the body relaxes and responds to the calming sound.
The Quran is full of verses that remind us of God’s mercy, compassion, and guidance. Hearing these verses can be incredibly soothing, reminding us that we are not alone. This reassurance can create a physical response, manifesting as goosebumps or a feeling of warmth spreading through the body.
Learn to Recite and Understand the Quran
If you’ve been touched by the recitation of the Quran and want to deepen your connection, consider learning more about it. Understanding the meanings of the verses and improving your recitation skills can enhance this spiritual experience. For those interested in learning Quran online, Riwaq Al Quran offers excellent resources. You can take courses on Tajweed (the rules of Quranic recitation), memorize the Quran, or learn Arabic to understand the verses better. Visit riwaqalquran.com to explore their offerings and start your journey towards a deeper understanding of the Quran.
Final Thoughts
So, why do you get goosebumps when listening to the Quran? It’s a mix of emotional, spiritual, and even scientific reasons. Whether it’s the beauty of the recitation, the profound meaning of the words, or the comfort they bring, the Quran has a unique way of touching the heart. These goosebumps are a sign that you’re feeling something deeply—a connection to something greater than yourself. And that, in itself, is a beautiful reminder of the Quran's timeless impact on the human soul.
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Cold Plunge Stress Relief: Revitalize Your Mind and Body
In today's fast-paced world, stress has become an unavoidable part of our daily lives. From demanding jobs to personal responsibilities, the pressures we face can take a significant toll on our mental and physical well-being. One increasingly popular method for combating stress is cold plunge therapy. Known for its revitalizing effects, cold plunge stress relief is gaining recognition as an effective way to rejuvenate the body and mind.
Cold plunge therapy involves immersing the body in cold water, typically at temperatures between 50-59°F (10-15°C), for a short period. This practice has been used for centuries in various cultures, but it has recently gained popularity due to its numerous health benefits. The sudden exposure to cold water triggers a range of physiological responses that can significantly reduce stress levels.
When you take a cold plunge, your body's fight-or-flight response is activated, causing a rush of adrenaline and an increase in heart rate. This reaction helps to improve circulation and flush out toxins, providing a sense of invigoration and alertness. Moreover, the cold water stimulates the production of endorphins, the body's natural mood elevators, which can help alleviate feelings of anxiety and depression.
Another significant benefit of cold plunge stress relief is its impact on the nervous system. The cold water immersion helps to reset the autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary functions such as heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. By restoring balance to this system, cold plunge therapy can improve overall mental clarity and emotional stability.
Additionally, cold plunge therapy can reduce inflammation and muscle soreness, making it an excellent recovery tool for athletes and fitness enthusiasts. The cold water constricts blood vessels, which helps to reduce swelling and flush out metabolic waste products from the muscles. As a result, individuals who regularly engage in cold plunge therapy often experience faster recovery times and improved performance.
Ice Bath Therapy Australia: Embrace the Chill for Wellness
In recent years, ice bath therapy has gained widespread popularity in Australia, as more people discover its myriad health benefits. Known for its ability to enhance physical recovery and promote overall wellness, ice bath therapy Australia is becoming a go-to practice for athletes and health enthusiasts alike.
Ice bath therapy involves immersing the body in a tub filled with ice-cold water, typically around 50°F (10°C), for a duration of 10-15 minutes. This practice, rooted in ancient traditions, is now supported by modern science for its numerous positive effects on the body. One of the primary benefits of ice bath therapy is its ability to reduce inflammation and speed up recovery after intense physical activity.
When you submerge your body in cold water, the blood vessels constrict, which helps to reduce swelling and muscle soreness. This is particularly beneficial for athletes who frequently experience muscle fatigue and injuries. By incorporating ice bath therapy into their routine, they can significantly shorten their recovery time and return to peak performance faster.
Furthermore, ice bath therapy can improve mental resilience and boost the immune system. The shock of the cold water stimulates the production of white blood cells, which are essential for fighting off infections and diseases. This immune-boosting effect can help individuals maintain better overall health and reduce the frequency of illness.
In addition to physical benefits, ice bath therapy Australia has been shown to enhance mental well-being. The cold exposure triggers the release of endorphins and other neurotransmitters that improve mood and reduce stress levels. Many people report feeling a sense of euphoria and mental clarity after an ice bath session, making it an effective tool for managing anxiety and depression.
Moreover, ice bath therapy can enhance sleep quality. The cooling effect on the body helps to lower core temperature, which is crucial for initiating and maintaining deep sleep. As a result, individuals who practice ice bath therapy often experience more restful and restorative sleep, leading to improved overall health and well-being.
In conclusion, both cold plunge stress relief and ice bath therapy in Australia offer a range of benefits that can enhance physical and mental health. By incorporating these practices into your wellness routine, you can experience reduced stress, improved recovery, and a greater sense of well-being. Embrace the chill and discover the transformative power of cold water therapy today.
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Navigating Speculation: Jacob Elordi's Personal Life and the Importance of Privacy
Australian actor Jacob Elordi, renowned for his role as Noah Flynn in "The Kissing Booth" series, has found himself amidst speculation about his sexual orientation. It's crucial to approach such matters with sensitivity, respecting an individual's right to privacy.
Born on June 26, 1997, in Queensland, Australia, Elordi began his acting career in 2018 with the Australian film "Swinging Safari." Subsequently, he gained recognition for roles in Hollywood productions, including "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" and the TV series "Euphoria."
Speculation about Elordi's sexuality arose when he shared childhood crushes on male actors, such as Brad Pitt, during interviews. This sparked discussions about his sexual orientation, with some questioning if he might be gay or engaging in Queerbaiting.
Elordi addressed instances of homophobia he experienced during his school days, noting that he embraced wearing makeup in response to unfounded rumors about his sexuality. However, it's essential to remember that personal experiences and expressions of gender identity do not necessarily dictate one's sexual orientation.
Rumors intensified when Elordi discussed a scene in the movie "Saltburn," where his character was labeled as queer. Despite expectations, the film did not feature a gay sex scene, leading some to accuse him of Queerbaiting.
Regarding his romantic life, Elordi has been linked to several high-profile figures, including co-stars Joey King and Zendaya, as well as Kaia Gerber and Olivia Jade Giannulli. While his dating history involves women, it's crucial to recognize that relationships do not definitively reveal one's sexual orientation.
In conclusion, the speculation surrounding Jacob Elordi's sexual orientation highlights the challenges celebrities face in navigating public scrutiny. It is essential to approach these discussions with respect for privacy and an understanding that personal experiences and relationships are complex and fluid. Ultimately, Elordi's sexual orientation is his own personal matter, and any conclusions should be drawn with caution and empathy.
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Originally published at hypefresh.com febuary 14th,2024.
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