#recently I am so unproductive
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sylphwing · 3 months ago
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kind of wnna play pixelmon
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elgringo300 · 4 months ago
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Tu
me encontraste en la orilla
no has buscado
ni a sabios ni a ricos
tan solo quieres
que yo te siga
Senor!
Me has mirado en los ojos
sonriendo
has dicho mi nombre
En la arena
he dejado mi barca
junto a ti
buscare otro mar
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artificial-ascension · 5 months ago
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Sometimes I see personal accounts of racism, antisemitism, ableism, fatphobia and other such social injustices which I do not experience and get so fucking mad hearing about how other people have been treated, but it's like, there's not really a point in going "Grrr that was so awful of them. That's so terrible I, a random white/skinny/able-bodied/goy, am really angry on your behalf"
Cause I mean... one, I'm certain no one cares, and it's just kinda virtue signaling at that point, and two, I don't think people afflicted by any sort of bigotry complaining about their experience need anyone to be mad on their behalf. I don't really think that's the point of sharing those experiences, just to make people who don't have them be mad for them, so much as it is venting and/or a learning experience where the takeaway is not "I'm so mad I'm gonna daydream about beating up the Bad Person who said that" but rather "There are people who experience things I do not and also experience certain things worse than I could imagine. Here are the material realities of another person's life." And furthermore, deciding to take that information and fight for, or at the very least support and uplift people who have been affected in such ways is infinitely better than yelling about how you think that's just terrible and showing off your weird savior complex in a random Tumblr users notes.
Tl dr: I think bigotry is bad and the fact that other people get treated so badly makes me angry. I just don't think that's productive to be saying every 20 minutes because being nice to people is an infinitely better use of time and energy than being mean even if someone really deserves it.
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boxoftheskyking · 9 days ago
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Might I give some advice:
Not everyone has (or needs to have) the energy to thoughtfully respond to republicans on the Internet. You do not have to do that.
But some people do, and can. And I think we gotta let them.
An example:
I have a former teacher, I'll call her Grace, who is an incredibly kind woman in her 70s. Devout catholic, had voted for various parties over the years, but has been pretty strictly democrat over the past 15-20 because that aligns with her values of kindness and service.
She shared a post about the pope's recent letter and expressed that she agreed with his concerns about how trump is treating immigrants. A friend of hers commented a long paragraph basically saying "dear Grace I care for you but I don't understand how you can be a Christian and a democrat. Blah blah abortion blah blah gender blah blah drugs."
Grace replied "I'm very busy right now but I am going to respond to you soon with my thoughts". When she did it was an incredibly generous, rational monologue that connected with this person's humanity, their shared religious values, and made a beautiful case for why she supports who she does. I didn't agree with a good half of what she said as I am not a Christian, but the result was an expression of values that I think put her on the side of justice and compassion.
The person replied and thanked her and said she had a lot to think about. It was probably the best case scenario for a Facebook politics conversation
You know what came very close to ruining it? A bunch of (mostly younger) people piling on with "fuck you you racist maga pos" and "no one has to explain anything to you, go to hell" etc etc. Even after Grace wrote that she intended to reply herself.
I watched this republican respond to all the easy, quick insults by saying "this is why I don't think any democrats can be Christian, this is how you all speak to me." If Grace hadn't put so much work into writing her response in a way that was tailored to fit this person, I would not be surprised if that person left Facebook doubly certain that Christian nationalism is the way to go.
I'm not saying we can't cuss out jackasses. I'm not saying everyone needs to respond to bad faith arguments like Grace did or use their time like she did.
But this was on Grace's Facebook page, and interrupted the work she already volunteered to do. Just so these individuals could feel like they "did something" and got a shot off at an enemy.
I think that's selfish and childish and unproductive. They could have said anything they wanted in their own space, but they made grace's job harder for no fuckin reason. And then "loved" her reply and said "that was beautiful Grace, thank you for sharing your thoughts"
Like... Buddies. Pals. If someone volunteers to scrub the toilet fucking let them.
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raayllum · 2 months ago
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The thing (or one of the things) about Ezran in early S7 is that while he's not being unreasonable, he is being hypocritical and unproductive ("You forgave Zubeia"). 7x01 is his breaking point after seasons of trying to keep everyone else together and weathering each conflict in as most an unaffected manner as possible, and he quite simply couldn't do it anymore.
Zubeia sent an assassin to kill your father? You long for your mother so deeply, you don't know your dad is dead yet, you do everything you can to get Zym back home because you love him (you can literally see through his eyes) and because it's the best chance for peace. Forgive her for killing your father and trying to kill you because she was grieving and Zym's dad for killing your mother because he's dead and they miss him. Put all your anger in a box at the one person who actually did kill him, because Zubeia saw her baby and changed her mind, and your found family sister (who is also missing) defected and spared your life that night, and he didn't.
Deny the ugly truths as long as you can by focusing on peace ("I ignored something that was true. I denied something that is undeniable"). Why should you have to acknowledge anger? Can't you just get past that? And then you can't, with the picture. (Then you can't, later, with yourself.)
Rayla comes back and Callum is fighting with her? Forgive and welcome her back unconditionally and try to counsel Callum through his big feelings. Rinse and repeat when Soren and then Zym goes missing. Advocate for and refuse to give up on Rex Igneous until he sends you sprawling into a wall.
Take on the responsibility of negotiating with the dragons. With Finnegrin (you offer up your hand, and so do your friends, your family). Talk your brother out of a more violent solution, and Rayla sides with you. She does again about hiding with the pearl and you save each other's lives. You look after home while she and Callum leave to save the world, and tell Soren the hard truth and deal with Viren till you don't. You try to spare Karim and his forces. You believe in peace. You believe in breaking the cycle.
"I am a king, and as a king, I choose love over strength."
"King of what? King of ashes?"
Ezran looks at what two years of trying to do the right peaceful thing has earned him — a destroyed kingdom while he was away — and he desperately, angrily, grasps at any semblance of control. This can't be all it was for. He feels like he's failed as a king, and is therefore a bad king. He needs to punish Sol Regem for it, but he can't. It needs to be Runaan's 'fault' because Runaan made him a king, even though keeping Runaan chained up in the Banther Lodge basement doesn't do anything but keep another family (Rayla's family) apart and make him feel in control. His pendulum swings so hard and strong, the target of his anger constantly changing to the most recent wound stacked upon themselves. After 7x02, he's not visibly angry at Runaan again until the finale; he's angrier at Callum than he is at Rayla because he thought he had control over his brother ("Callum. High Mage. We need you at this council meeting") even if that shouldn't be the goal or the focus at all anyway.
Callum doesn't betray him just because of Rayla, but because Ezran is perpetuating the cycle in a way that is antithetical to everything all three of them have striven to break, which is exactly what Callum points out to him. (If Rayla had surrendered or Callum had stayed, they just all likely would've been arrested, as it's unlikely Rayla and Runaan would've made it in the boat with Callum's magic, either. Would that have made Ezran, or anyone, feel better, hunting down his brother and friends, bringing them back in chains? No, and only Aanya is brave enough to say it out loud after Ez proves he values his bond with his brother / Callum's life over destroying Runaan's and Rayla's by proxy.)
"Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else."
What would killing or imprisoning Runaan (again) really have done?
"Hasn't he already been punished enough? Viren trapped him in a cursed coin for years. It's time to set him free." / "How much suffering is enough to pay for the mistakes we've made? No amount of suffering, yours or mine, will ever bring him back."
("As a father, I have a selfish wish, and that is for you and Ezran to be... free.")
"A life for a life. Is that justice?"
We also see that his scene with Runaan is one of the very last in the season. It's been months, if not nine, before Ezran was ready to have that conversation, ready to do with Runaan what he willingly did with Aaravos ("A king must look into the face and hear the words of those he judges"). A few days or a week by Callum's estimate wouldn't have been enough.
Ezran set Terry free to see if they could really trust him. He refused to do the same with Runaan even when it was causing clear pain and fracturing within his own family unit, nor did Runaan come to Katolis to face justice; it was just happenstance. But in Runaan being freed, he was then able to choose to come back to face Ezran's verdict. And then Ezran makes his own conscious choice.
"I'm going to forgive you. I don't know how, but I have to try."
He told everyone else that they had to acknowledge the weight of the pain and loss in their hearts while also holding love. It was hard before. It was hard now. But he has to try.
(Nor does Harrow being in the bird erase the two years of mourning hell that Ezran went through, remove the crown from his brow, make things with Runaan any easier tbh, or mean he's 100% getting his father back.)
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honeys-hotties · 1 year ago
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I Don't Deserve You-Julien Baker x Reader
my first julien baker fic, because the jb brainrot is SO REAL i love her with my whole heart
jb x fem!reader
angst but happy ending (have i ever written anything without angst??) anyways! as always, this is all made up!! jb is a little mean in this one, and in real life i am so sure she would never act like this
word cout: 2222 <3
After a horrifically unproductive day at the studio, all Julien wants to do when she gets back to her house is sleep for approximately 17 hours. The clock on the wall reads 6:13 when she drops her jacket on the couch, completely forgetting about the dirty breakfast dishes she had promised you she would clean up that morning. You had an obnoxiously early start that morning, but wanting to see you before you left for work, Julien had woken up and you two had made breakfast together.
“I’m so sorry I don’t have time to clean everything up,” you had whispered apologetically, perched atop the counter while Julien stood between your legs. “If you could put everything away before you go to the studio for me please baby? And I can make us dinner tonight? I shouldn’t be too late? I think they were saying 7:00 wrap tonight? So I’ll be home by 7:45 at the latest.” Julien had agreed, if mostly to quiet her excited girlfriend so she could get a few kisses in before you left, but had gone back upstairs and fallen asleep after you were gone. She had slept through her alarm, and in her panic to get to the studio on time had forgotten to clean the kitchen.
Julien walked up the stairs, pushing the door to their bedroom open and falling face-first onto the large, unmade bed, and immediately passing out. She sleeps peacefully for about an hour and a half, until the slamming of the front door startles her awake. Rubbing her eyes irritatedly, Julien sits up in the darkened bedroom, a headache growing behind her eyes. 
“Babe?” She hears you call from downstairs. “Where are you?” Grumbling to herself, Julien sits up and stretches, her back popping from the movements. You pad up the stairs, and poke your head into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of your tired girlfriend. “Good nap?” you ask softly, walking towards the bed and sitting down next to Julien, who wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, resting her head in your lap.
“Yeah, baby.” Julien hums. “Really good nap.”
You laugh softly, stroking Julien’s hair in your lap. “I’m glad, babe. You’ve been working yourself to death recently. How was the studio today?”
Julien rolls her eyes, sitting up abruptly. “I really don’t want to talk about work right now.” She says, irritated. Your eyes widen slightly, shocked by your girlfriend’s sharp tone, but ultimately chalking it up to her exhaustion. “Oh, okay. I’m sorry, Jules. I can go start dinner, if you want to nap a little longer?”
Julien looks at you guiltily. “I’m sorry, princess.” She pulls you into her lap, kissing your forehead repeatedly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I love you.” You laugh quietly, relishing in the comfort of Julien’s arms, the kisses being pressed to your face. 
“It’s okay baby. I get it. Want to come start on dinner with me?” 
Julien nods, and follows like a puppy after you, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Julien is so lost in thought that when you stop abruptly in front of her at the sight of the kitchen, Julien smacks directly into you, knocking you forward a couple of steps. 
“Whoa princess, what’re you doin’?” She asks, reaching out to steady you. You swat her hands away, turning to face Julien with an unamused expression on your face. “Hey,” Julien takes a step back. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to bump into you, I swear, I just wasn’t expecting you to stop there…” she trails off at the look on your face. “What?”
“The kitchen, JB.” You say, gesturing to the dirty dishes behind you. “You promised you would clean up this morning, remember? I specifically asked if you could take care of it this morning so it wouldn’t be a problem tonight, and you told me not to worry, that you would clean up before you left.”
Julien rolls her eyes, her girlfriend’s irritation only adding to her bad mood. “Seriously, babe? You barely see me all day, and now you’re getting mad because I didn’t do the dishes? So I wanted to get some extra sleep this morning? Don’t you think I fuckin’ deserve it? I work so damn hard, I deserve a break, and having you flipping out on me isn’t helpful, baby.” Her tone is biting, her words harsh, and she barely notices the tears glazing over her girlfriend’s eyes. 
“I work hard too, Julien!” You grit out. “Just because I’m not some incredible singer doesn’t mean I don’t work hard, doesn’t mean I’m not exhausted when I get home. You told me you would clean up and you didn’t, I don’t understand why you’re getting so defensive-”
“Exactly!” Julien yells. “You don’t understand. You have no idea what it’s like to have this pressure on your shoulders every goddamn second, the eyes of so many people, waiting for you to fuck up. But guess fucking what, princess? The world doesn’t revolve around you.” She stalks closer to you, her voice loud. “You have no idea what I’m dealing with, how exhausted I am constantly, how hard I’m working. So I forgot to do the dishes once? So what? Look at everything I do for you, everything I bring to the table, versus you, and then try to tell me off again, princess.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, Julien wishes she could take them back. You look like you’ve been slapped across the face, and the unshed tears in your eyes finally begin to fall. You let out a choked sob, backing away from Julien who, in her anger, had cornered you against the table. 
“Wait, baby…I didn’t…” but it’s too late. The damage is done. 
“You’re right, Julien,” You manage. “I don’t know what it’s like. Maybe you should find someone who understands you, because obviously I never could.”
“No, princess, please-” Julien starts, before you cut her off.
“Don’t fucking call me that.” You snap. “I’m not your ‘princess’, I’m not your ‘baby’, I’m not your ‘doll’, I’m not anything to you, apparently.”
“No, please. You’re everything to me, I swear, I was just being mean because I’m tired, please, I didn’t mean it” Julien’s eyes fill with tears. You turn away from her. “I think you should leave, Julien. Before you say something else you ‘don’t mean’”. 
“No, please, you know I can’t leave when we’re fighting, we have to fix things, please let me fix things.”
You turn to her, tears streaming down your face. “I don’t know if you can fix this, Julien. I’ve put up with a lot of your shit, when you snap at me because you’ve had long days at the studio and I let it slide, when you chainsmoke because you’re stressed and I hold my tongue because I don’t want to make you more upset, when you make my problems feel small because I’m not part of some huge band. I don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s not fair to me.”
Julien drops to her knees in front of you, reaching gently for your hands. “Please let me fix this” she cries softly. “Please, my love. I will do anything to make it up to you. Anything.” You pull your hands from Julien’s grasp. 
“I’m going to bed” you say, brokenly. “Just, wash the dishes, please.” 
“I love you” Julien calls out after you, watching you retreat up the stairs. “Baby, I-I love you.” You say nothing, and as soon as you disappear up the stairs, Julien breaks down in tears. She sits on the kitchen floor and cries, cries because she thinks she might have just ruined the best thing in her life. Julien cries for what feels like either ten minutes or ten hours, until she has no tears left and her sobs turn into pathetic sniffles. Eventually, she stands up and finds her phone, calling the only two people she trusts to help her fix her relationship. Phoebe and Lucy both pick up almost immediately, and listen dutifully as Julien fills them in on the fight while she tries to tidy up the kitchen. 
“Wow” Phoebe manages when Julien finishes the story. “Julien, fuck, I don’t know what to say.”
“I do,” Lucy chimes in. “You fucked up. Big time. Like, I don’t even know how you fucked up this badly.”
“That’s really helpful, Luce.” Julien retorts. “Now, how do I fix things? She’s the best thing in my life, and I can’t do this without her.”
“I think you and her need to have a really serious conversation about your relationship and what she expects of you” Phoebe says seriously. “It sounds like you’ve been neglecting her, however unintentionally, taking her for granted. She’s put up with it for long enough, JB, and honestly, she deserves better. I love you and I’m here for you no matter what, but you’re in the wrong here, babe.”
“You guys will work it out, but just try to understand where she’s coming from. You’ve got a pretty short fuse when you’re stressed,” Lucy adds. “I know you both and I know how much love you have for each other. Just, talk things through with her, see it from her point of view.”
“Okay. I’ll try. And you’re right, she deserves better. I’ll do my best to try harder for her, to be more attentive and more patient for her. I love her so much.”
“We know,” Lucy says. “We love you both so much, and I know you two will work it out. It’s hard right now, but you’re going to come out on the other side of this so much stronger as a couple.”
“Tell her we say hi, and call us tomorrow with updates, okay JB. We love you.” Phoebe says, bringing a small smile to Julien’s face.
“I will. Thank you guys, I love you both so much.” Julien disconnects the call and wipes down the counter, before turning off the kitchen lights and heading upstairs. Her footsteps grow soft as she reaches the door to your shared bedroom, and she pushes the door open softly, her heart breaking at the sight of you curled up on the bed, eyes red and puffy. 
“I don’t want to talk right now, Julien.” You say quietly, your voice raspy. 
“Will you listen then, baby? Just, I have a few things I want to say to you, to apologize for, and then you can kick me out, okay?” Julien asks hopefully, walking slowly towards the bed. You sit up wordlessly, gesturing for Julien to go ahead.
“Um, okay. Here goes. Baby, I’m so, so fucking sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve been so tired and stressed lately. And I know that’s not an excuse. I just want to tell you where I’m coming from. That gives me zero right to take it out on you, though. And I’m so sorry because through everything, you’ve been here for me. You’ve stuck with me, through good and bad, no matter what. And I’ve been taking you for granted, which is so unfair to you, and you deserve so much better than me. You deserve someone who listens to you and values your opinions, someone who loves you so much they can’t stand the thought of life without you. Someone who knows how hard you work, someone who is always there for you, someone who is patient and protective and treats you like a queen. I want to be that person for you, if you’ll let me. I want to show you how incredible you are and tell you every day for the rest of our lives how much I adore you. I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t want to imagine my life without you. I know I don’t deserve you, but please, give me another chance. You make my life worth living, you make everything better. I love you more than I can ever say, but if you want me, I will spend the rest of our lives proving how much I love you.” By the end of her speech, you're sobbing. 
“Oh, fuck, baby, doll, I’m so sorry, I-”
“Shut up and kiss me” You cut her off, and Julien’s eyes widen at your statement. “I, what?”
“You heard me,” you laughed, your throat still choked with tears. “Kiss me, Julien.” Without hesitating, Julien surges forward and connects your lips in a searing kiss. She can taste the salt of your tears mixing with her own, and when she finally breaks away, she rests her forehead against yours, gently wiping your tears away.  “I love you” she whispers. “And I don’t deserve you. But I love you so much. And I’m sorry.”
“I know you are,” you say. “But I don’t want to talk about that right now. I’m tired. Let’s go to sleep, we can talk more in the morning.”
Julien presses her lips to yours once more. “You’re the boss, princess. I’ll start making it up to you first thing tomorrow.”
“You better.” You say, letting out a watery chuckle, cuddling into her. “And I have a few ideas for how you can start.”
honey's notes: to anyone reading this right now, i love you you're amazing, all the forehead kisses in the world for you! this fic was so fun to write, lmk if i should write more for jb or the boys!
love always, honey
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cupids-chamber · 9 months ago
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𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐒
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Hi, so I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. This is a impromptu decision, so I don't know if I'll come back in like a day and correct myself. But I've been debating on this decision for a long time, so yea.
[ below the undercut you'll find some of my reasons for this decision, and etc, I'd be grateful if you take your time reading it. ]
I don't feel comfortable as 'Cupid', I guess it's because 'Cupid' was never supposed to be my persona, she was just an oc who's running this blog, and it was supposed to be fun, mini lore bits, or whatever, and I thought the idea was really cool back then. . up until people started calling me Cupid.
I guess overtime, I never made a serious effort to correct it, so like it just became me? But like as shit went on and on and on . . It felt weird, I guess a sort of imposter syndrome or like identity crises started forming? I . . didn't feel like myself, I guess I felt like whatever 'Cupid' was.
And as months passed with this sort of identity crises, I started questioning my personality, my interests, if my friends here truly liked me, or if I was more open or idk myself? If they'd still like me? I'm not a chronically online person, in fact I've realized pretty recently that I hate staying in one place, I love the outdoors, and if I could I'd socialize more, but I also overthink and get embarrassed easily. I don't like being on my pc 24/7, yes it's something I still do, but I feel terrible after doing so.
I actually picked up certain interests I've had in the passed again, and I've felt more like myself. I don't know, I think I've realized that my relationship with this blog has been unhealthy, it's always been unhealthy, and my identity crises was the least extreme problem I've had due to this blog.
Actually, the game, the controversies, the fights, everything I've experienced on this blog, has left lasting physical damage on my body, I can't handle anxiety, I can't handle stress, and it's because the moment I get anxiety, stressed, or begin to overthink, I get immensely nauseas, I'm stuck in the bathroom, and if I don't throw up it feels worse, I can't eat, I'm unproductive for hours if one things ticks off my anxiety. I feel unlike myself, and the thing is, I can't fix it, it's just how I'm now. I have pills I have to take for this itself, and honestly they've not been 100% helpful.
Alongside abundance of other problems, mental breakdowns, and so much more shit, this blog has truly done nothing but make everything so much worse for me. If I had one good day or week with this blog and the people around me, I can expect a month of bad in return, and there comes a point where I genuinely cannot fake confidence out of it.
I genuinely think I need to dissociate from 'Cupid', she's not me, I'm not her. As I'm typing this, I genuinely wonder, what am I truly? Up until now my identity, was what I formed through 'Cupid', and honestly I don't even know where I'm going with this, I genuinely am just . . done. I'm tired. I've tried, I have not succeeded in overcoming any problems this blog has caused me.
I think a part of me is so attached to this blog, because of 'Cupid' and of course because it helped me out of my depressive pit, but as these last few weeks pass, and I edge closer to my final year before university, I feel myself returning to that depressive pit, worse than ever . . so at that point, I can't help but ask myself, what was the point of me staying on this blog despite the clear signs and warnings for me to leave?
I really don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm really grateful for everyone who has followed this blog, who have given me the chance to improve my writing. I guess it's time for a genuine goodbye? Because as I'm writing this, I don't really plan on coming back and that's the honest truth, with every hiatus I try and dance around a final goodbye but after this week I genuinely think this is the best decision for myself.
Note : Kindly do not call refer to me as 'Cupid', or anything if you plan on responding and if you do want to remain in contact with me, please message me for my new discord account. I probably won't respond fast as I try and maintain a distance from this account and don't bother contacting me on discord, I'm taking a break from the account as well <3
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faelynfawn · 1 year ago
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Maybe something with scar and tango? Your recent chapter from tangos pov has me craving more of them :] I don’t have any specific ideas aksjjs maybe something decked out related? Maybe some protective tango or something but it’s up to you!! <3
For anyone who is unaware of my disability Scar headcanons (I truly should make a post about it) the one relevant here is that death create pain and other symptoms for him but do not for others.
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This was probably the most on track conversation Scar had ever had with Tango. They were both so distractable and fed into each other in the best (most unproductive) way. Clearly Tango had a point he was trying to get to as he rambled on and on about Decked Out 2, one Scar was trying so hard to let him reach.
“So, yeah. That’s how the game works,” Tango said.
“Can’t wait to play it!”
Tango frowned, “No, Scar, this—this conversation wasn’t to get you to be excited, it was to explain that in order to play you have to die. Repeatedly. Every single run.”
Oh.
Scar felt an uncomfortable lump forming in this throat. He swallowed around it and put a cheery smile on his face, “Oh, I die so much, what’s a little bit more?”
Tango’s eyes widened, “No! No! I’m not—Okay, so, I’ve got a plan. I came to run the plan by you. That’s why I’m here. I’m not—I wouldn’t have built the game if I didn’t think there was a way you could play it.”
That was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to Scar. He knew how much Decked Out 2 meant to Tango. The idea that he wouldn’t have built it if he couldn’t make it accessible made him feel a little bit giddy. Guilty, but giddy.
“I’m all ears.”
“They're not that big. So, I was thinking, in Decked Out people aren’t supposed to have armour. But I could just spectate all your runs and keep track of where your health should be and when you’d be dead if you didn’t have armour, I pull you out. That way you don’t have to die and you still get to play.”
Scar hesitated, “Wouldn’t that give me an unfair advantage? You were just saying how berry bushes were such a big thing and if I didn’t actually take the damage I wouldn’t need to eat as much.”
Tango laughed and wrapped Scar up in a hug, “I’d keep track of that too. Even if it did give you an advantage I think I can speak for everyone when I said we’d much rather you have a little bit of an edge and not be in pain after playing. It's a game, Scar. Besides,” He pulled back to cup Scar’s cheek, “I’m the Dungeon Master. I make the rules."
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I managed to make it less than 400 words. That is as close to a drabble as I believe I am capable of creating.
Also, I am so pleased people are enjoying my Scargo agenda. I love them so much, they are so important to me. Here is a video of them that I believe everyone should watch. (It also has a part 2.)
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academicfever · 4 months ago
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🌿 30-Day Digital Declutter Challenge 🌿
Welcome to the 30-Day Digital Declutter Challenge! Ready to take back your time and make space for the things that really matter?
For the next 30 days, we’re going on a digital detox! 🌱 It’s all about cutting down on distractions and adding more meaningful activities into your day. You in?
Key Steps of the 30-Day Digital Declutter
1. Take a Break from Optional Technologies (30 Days)
Identify optional technologies: Newport encourages participants to determine which technologies are "optional." These include apps, websites, or digital services that are not critical to your personal or professional life (e.g., social media, entertainment apps, non-essential email checking).
Completely eliminate or drastically reduce usage: For 30 days, stop using these optional technologies. The goal is to break the habit of mindless use and to see how life functions without them.
2. Explore Meaningful Alternatives
During the 30-day break, reintroduce meaningful activities that you might have neglected because of digital distractions. These could be hobbies, creative projects, physical activity, time spent with friends and family, or self-reflection.
Newport suggests focusing on activities that bring fulfillment: spending time outdoors, reading, creating, exercising, or pursuing personal interests that align with your values.
3. Reintroduce Technology Thoughtfully (After 30 Days)
At the end of the 30 days, evaluate which digital tools and platforms are necessary and beneficial.
Reintroduce only those technologies that have a clear, positive impact on your life and set rules or boundaries for their usage. For example:
Set specific times for checking social media or emails.
Limit the number of apps installed on your phone.
Use tools only for clearly defined purposes (e.g., professional networking on LinkedIn).
Questions to Ask When Reintroducing Technology
Newport suggests using three questions to decide which digital tools to reintroduce and how:
Does this technology directly support something I deeply value?
Is this the best way to use this technology for its purpose?
How can I set boundaries on this technology to maximize its value while minimizing its downsides?
30-Day Digital Declutter in Practice:
Prepare:
List all the optional technologies in your life (social media, games, video streaming, news apps).
Decide on the rules for your 30-day break (complete elimination or drastically reducing usage).
Identify meaningful activities you will focus on during the declutter.
Implement the Declutter:
Begin your 30-day digital break, sticking to the rules you set for yourself.
Replace mindless tech use with fulfilling, offline activities.
Reintroduce Thoughtfully:
After 30 days, evaluate which technologies to bring back into your life.
Establish rules to prevent falling back into unproductive or mindless usage.
Examples of Rules You Could Set:
Social Media: Only use it for professional reasons or set a time limit (e.g., 30 minutes per day).
Emails: Check only twice a day—once in the morning and once before the end of the workday.
Smartphone: Turn off notifications for all non-essential apps.
So recently I read this book and wated to try this method to clear my head... I am starting this challenge from 19th October_feel free to join me... You make the rules and alternatives for urslef... u can take a look at mine as an example...
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district4loading · 2 months ago
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It's the last week of the year, so it's not a problem if you are unproductive. You can just relax a bit and see what the best fiction you write for the year is. Also, what is the best picture of Sana in 2024, and what is the best outfit of Sana in 2024 from Misamo, Strategy, and Solo Schedule? And what are you looking out for in 2025
Ahhh, thank you for making me feel less lazy. I just spent the past few hours finishing my most recent fic.
Anyways, when I saw this pop up in my inbox I kinda got excited because its an excuse to simp for Sana.
To answer the first question, I've only put out a few fics but I'd say my best one is "I Love You," I'm pretty sure it remains my most liked fic on here and that's because its super intimate and fluffy. I enjoyed writing it and I never imagined so many people would also like it so thank you all for that.
Now onto the next...
Best Picture(s) of Sana in 2024
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I mean... come on now.
I love when Sana wears glasses, I love when she does the duck lips and I love when she has her hair back.
These pics are so simple yet they have almost all the elements of what I love on her. Not to mention she looks incredible.
So yeah, this is taking the spot for the best picture of Sana in 2024.
Sana's best misamo concert outfit 2024
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I really really really wish she'd post a photo dump with the pictures she took in this outfit. (I know she took some)
Pictures aside. This outfit looks amazing on her.
If you know me, you know that I'll always prefer when Sana wears a skirt because they fit her so well but these tight black jeans on her had me in shambles watching the entire concert video. The top is also really nice, showing a lot of skin but not too much, it's sort of perfect.
Also on the photo in the left, she has that half up-half down hairstyle which is probably my favorite on her. She pulls it off soooo well.
(Spoiler alert: I'm like halfway done writing a fic where she's wearing this outfit lmao)
Sana's best Strategy outfit
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You all should've seen the way my jaw hit the floor when the studio choom teaser came out.
I feel like this outfit is perfect for her, so is the furry hat with the long currly hair. Pink is definitely HER color so of course she's gonna look good. But holy fucking shit she wrecked me bad with this one.
I have nothing more to say about this one.
Sana's best solo schedule outfit 2024
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I mean what can I say? She's mastered the art of princessism lmao
Anytime Sana teams up with Graff, they have her looking like absolute royalty and I appreciate that. With a face like that, it's very fitting for Sana. There were many I could've chosen from but these just really caught my eye.
What am I looking out for?
I mean, I'd really love for Sana to have her solo debut. After hearing Mirage and seeing her perform it so well I definitely think she's more than ready. However, I doubt that’s coming anytime soon since she already has her hands full with Misamo.
I'd also like to see Sana have her own show, I've got no clue about the theme I just want to see her interact with other idols like she did on the fridge interview.
Since they teased a tour next year, I'd also like to see Sana (and momo and mina) perform their solo songs on the tour. I know misamo has never performed in the US but I hope they do next year, because they are not only loved in Japan. (This is only if they keep up the solo for each member thing on tour, if not then so be it)
I want another melody project for Sana. I really like her voice and I think it's not appreciated enough. I also want another performance project for more of the girls as well, especially momo.
Looking forward to a full album by twice sometime next year cause we're long over due for one.
Anyways, there's probably more I wanna see next year but I can't think of anything... so thats it for now!! Take care and enjoy the remainder of Sana day.
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thedudeplayinggalaga2 · 2 years ago
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See You In The Morning?
Kate Bishop x GN Reader
3K Words
Warnings: Mentions of injury, Angst, Language, Questionable punctuation, I think that's it?
A/N: This is the very first full fic I've ever written and Grammer/Punctuation has never been a strength of mine. I also have no idea if this story makes any sense but I had a good time writing.
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You had forgotten to take your ADHD meds this morning, and now you were really paying for it. As you sat at your desk stopping and staring and stopping a multitude of different tasks without actually finishing any of them. 
It was Kate's fault really, she had completely thrown off your routine as she had a tendency to do. It was a rather chaotic routine but it still got you out the door in enough time to grab breakfast and make sure you took your stimulant before getting to work. 
But last night Kate hadn't come home, she had sent you a quick text telling you not to wait up. This happened fairly often since you'd moved in, and she would usually come home at 3 or 4am. But she hadn't made it home till this morning when you'd already been up and getting ready for work. 
You grimaced to yourself thinking about the conversation you'd had with her. 
"How's your other lover?" You'd asked
"Listen I know that's a joke but it's not a very funny one! I'm so sorry, I really am! But this mission I've been working for weeks finally had a big break and I needed to follow this lead! I'm so close to catching this guy!" 
"It was a joke, and I'm glad you made some headway on your mission, but I did feel sad and concerned when I woke up this morning and you still weren't home." You said this to her with your back turned as you made lucky his breakfast. 
You heard Kate get up and walk over to you, she put a hand on your shoulder. You turned to face her and had gotten the first good look at her face since she'd gotten home. You gasped "Kate, that's a pretty nasty cut above your eye! What the hell happened!?"
"I... Well.. you see there was a guy with a bat and.." 
You didn't give her time to finish cause honestly you didn't think you wanted to know the rest. So you'd pulled her into the bathroom and started cleaning and patching up her various wounds before having to rush out the door so you would only be slightly late to work. 
And now here you are, having a highly unproductive day and also worrying about Kate. She had been having way more late nights than normal recently, and pretty much always came home a little beat up. She definitely wasn't getting anywhere near enough sleep, you assumed this was probably why she had been super distant as of late. And last week she had forgotten about Lucky's vet appointment which was probably the most concerning thing of all. 
You've been with Kate long enough to know and understand that this is just what dating a superhero can be like sometimes. But this time it was really starting to effect your relationship for some reason. Things where so inconsistent between the two of you, partly because you never saw each other and partly because when you did Kate didn't talk much about anything of substance. 
As Kate had grown more distant you'd started to get shorter with her, finding less and less patience which you normally had a bottomless amount of for her. You'd also stopped planning dates with her, stopped waiting up for her even if she said she wasn't going to be too late, and you'd been regrettablely a little too harsh with her when she forgot Lucky's appointment and you'd hauled ass across town to take him. 
Sitting at your desk, switching between the same three programs over and over again you started to tear up. You didn't like this, you didn't like feeling so disconnected from her. You hated how you two seemed to be living completely different lives. Because goddamit you loved Kate Bishop so much! You loved being her partner. Kate was absolutely wonderful! She was passionate, brave, and very caring. She used her skills and talents to help other people, something you admired very much about her. She made you feel seen in a way nobody had ever really seen you before. But most of all Kate made you feel safe, not just physically but emotionally too. She had always felt like home. 
----
The subway commute home was never your favorite, it was always so busy this time of day and wildly overstimulating. But you tried to spend the ride figuring out your game plan for when you got home. You wanted to talk to Kate, if she was even home, but you didn't want to create conflict especially if she was going to be leaving again tonight. 
As you walked into your apartment Lucky nearly knocked you to the ground, absolutely showering you in kisses. 
"Ok! Ok! Lucky I love you too! But we talked about this buddy, you can't just jump somebody at the door!" You said pushing him off before giving him a scratch behind the ears. 
You checked that Lucky had water and decided to let him outside as you assumed he'd been inside all day. Then you went to search for Kate. 
You found her passed out in your bed on top of the blankets letting you know she'd falled asleep as soon as she laid down. You smiled though as you noticed she was wearing one of your hoodies and probably your sweatpants too. 
You bent down the kiss the top of her head before settling down next to her in the bed. Stroking some hair out of her face you couldn't help but smile at your beautiful girlfriend and her slightly battered face. 
"What time is it" Kate mumbled so quietly you could barely hear what she said. 
"It's about 4:30 my love." 
"You're home early." 
"Yeah.... I was having a really bad brain day so my manager told me to just go home." You hoped she wouldn't press any further, but that was wishful thinking. 
Kate finally opened her eyes to look at you, worry evident in them. "Must have been a real bad brain day for Stark Industries to suddenly prioritize mental health over productivity." 
You let out a soft laugh, "Well I definitely wasn't being productive so more likely it just seemed like a waste of company time for me to be there." 
Kate sat up against the headboard next to you, looking even more worried, she tapped your forehead softly with her finger "What's goin on up in there?" 
You gave her a half hearted smile, "Well I forgot to take my meds this morning which isn't the end of the world but it definitely didn't help, there's also no way I've had enough protein today, and ...." You trailed off trying to decide if now was really the best time to tell her that you were also very worried about her and about your relationship. You decided against it because honestly you couldn't remember the last time you'd just sat in bed with her and you wanted to keep those vibes goin.
"Yeah, that's pretty much it."
"Hope you weren't trying for an Oscar with that performance, because I definitely didn't buy it!" Kate said teasingly. 
You groaned looking up at the ceiling "Sorry Kate, I just feel a little overwhelmed right now." Which was entirely true, you did feel very overwhelmed and your brain was going about 200 miles an hour. 
"That's okay, how about we get some food and take Lucky for a walk?" She said suppressing a yawn. 
"Are you sure? I know you're probably exhausted! You can rest more before you have to go to work." 
Kate put her hand on your face stroking your cheek with her thumb. "Yes I'm sure baby, you're having a bad brain day, so let's get some food in you and take a little walk. Also..... I've missed you." 
You leaned your head into her hand a little. "I've really missed you to my love."
----
Kate treated you to your favorite restaurant that had some outdoor pet friendly seating so Lucky could join. And now you were walking through central parking doing your best to keep Lucky from trying to chase squirrels. 
You'd been walking in silence for a few moments when you finally broke it. "Kate, I was also having a hard time at work today because I was worried about you. And well, also about us...."
Kate slowed down and turned to look at you with a frown on her face "Worried because I was hurt this morning? Because really it was nothing! I appreciate you patching me up, you do a better job than me, but really I'm okay! It looks way worse than it is!" She rambled. 
"Well obviously I don't like it when you come home hurt, but it's more to do with how distant you've been. I know how important what you do is, and I would never ask you not to do it! But... You haven't been home much recently, and when you are you seem so distant...." You trailed off realizing you didn't know where this was going. 
Kate was quiet for what felt like forever but than she said "This guy I'm trying to catch, he's like really really bad, like I would tell you how bad he is but I really don't want to burden you with that knowledge. It's really hard for me not to think about it when I'm home I guess." She was just staring at the ground now as you walked, and the way her demeanor changed you could tell that this was really weighing on her. 
Before you could respond she continued, "But, what did you mean that you're also worried about us?" Her voice getting quieter, almost nervous. 
"Well.... I guess I just feel like we are living two completely different lives, passing like ships in the night hardly ever seeing each other. And when we do it's like you're not actually there, or I'm being grumpy with you. This is the first time in weeks we've actually had dinner together. Kate I love you so so much! But I'm getting worried because I want to support you, but I can't do that if I'm always being shut out."
You sat down on a bench taking Kate's hand in yours as she sat next to you. You studied her face trying to figure out what she was thinking. 
"I don't like shutting you out.... I just want you to be safe and to not have to deal with the things I do." 
"And I do appreciate you leaving out the gruesome details truly, you don't have to tell me everything, but it would be nice if I could at least know what you are feeling sometimes. Because otherwise I have to just try and guess."
Kate nodded her head looking out into the park thoughtfully. "Well right now I'm feeling like I'm absolutely failing at everything! I spent all night tracking that son of a bitch for nothing! I've really dropped the ball on my relationship with you, like I caused a whole ass bad brain day for you! And last week I forgot about Lucky's vet appointment!" 
You opened your mouth to something but Kate quickly cut you off "I swear the god Y/N if you say anything about the vet appointment I'm emailing Pepper Pots to tell her you steal all your really good ideas from your intern!" 
You gasped dramatically clutching your chest for emphasis "Okay! Uncalled for! But Pepper would know you were lying because my intern, bless his heart, couldn't tell you the difference between a PDF and a JPEG with a gun to his head." 
"Okay! So a bad threat but I hope I made my point clear." 
"Yes, I swear to never speak or the vet incident again. And I also will apologize for being so harsh on you about it too." You said more soflty "I definitely could have handled that better, I made it a bigger deal than it needed to be and you didn't deserve that. What I was going to say is thank you for telling me how you're feeling, it helps me understand where you're heads at a bit better." 
You were going to say more but Kate leaned her head on your shoulder and started playing with your fingers causing your brain to short circuit for a half second. 
"Do you think I'm failing?" Kate asked in a whisper. 
You stared at her hand intertwined with yours for a minute before responding. "No Kate, I don't think you're failing, I know this bad dude is giving you a run for your money, but he doesn't know who he's up against! Kate Bishop, the world's greatest archer! You're gonna get him, you always figure it out." 
Kate sat up and gave you another small smile, she looked down at lucky who was now sitting at her feet enthralled with a stick he had found. "What about us? Am I failing at this relationship?" 
"My love, the fact that we are sitting here having this conversation is proof that neither of us are failing." You truly did believe that, and also kind of said it to reassure yourself too because recently you'd been wondering the same thing. "I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to be your partner. I knew there would be nights spent without you, secrets I couldn't know, and the occasional missed vet appointment...." 
"Y/N!" Kate said warningly
"Last time I swear!" You said quickly putting your hands up. "But recently you haven't been talking to me about.... Well... Pretty much anything. And I miss you Kate, it feels like you've been gone for weeks and I miss you." 
Kate looked at you with tears in her eyes "God I've missed you too Y/N. I do want to talk to you about how I'm feeling and what I'm doing. I just don't want you to get caught up in all this. I don't want you to get hurt." 
"Well right now it's hurting me to not know anything that's going on with you." 
She nodded "Yeah, I understand, I feel like I don't know what's going on with you right now either, like I don't even know what your current hyper fixation food is and I always know that."
"Well right now it's those little babybel cheeses, but last week it was BBQ chicken pizza from that place down the street from us." 
"I bet Lucky enjoyed that one." Kate leaned down to take Lucky's stick before he shredded it more than he already had. 
"Oh he very much did! Everyday I come home without it he looks at me as if it's the greatest betrayal he's ever experienced." 
Kate stood offering you her had so you could continue your walk. "Y/N I promise that as soon as I catch that bastard my first priority will be making sure we get some quality time together okay? And in the meantime I will be better at communicating." 
"Okay, I love you Kate, and I know you're gonna get him!" 
--- 
You had gotten back home a few minutes ago and you were getting Lucky his dinner. You expected Kate was in your room putting her suit on assuming she would probably be heading out soon. So you were surprised when she walked into the kitchen wearing her signature purple sweatshirt and your sweatpants. 
"I do need to go back out tonight but I thought it'd be nice for both of us if we maybe watched a movie or something before you go to bed?" She asked hopefully. 
This made light up instantly, but then you frowned at the prospect of having to try and pay attention to any entire feature length film. "I would love that, but seeing as I didn't complete even one task at work today I just don't think I'm gonna be able to watch a movie." 
Kate looked thoughtful "Good point, should have thought of that. Okay.... How about we watch TikToks together with New Girl playing in the background?" 
"And that Bishop is possible the best idea you've ever had!" 
So you and Kate spent the rest of the evening cuddled up on the couch doing exactly that. 
---
You and Lucky had just gotten into bed for the night and Kate was getting ready to head out. She came and sat on the edge of the bed leaning in to give you a kiss. "Y/N if I don't get this guy tonight I don't know what else I'm gonna do." 
"Well, have you asked Clint for advice?" 
"No, he's on vacation with his family and I don't want to bother him."
You nodded, being sure that while Clint loved Kate and was always helping her out, he probably wouldn't appreciate his family vacation being interrupted by whatever it was Kate was doing. "Okay, fair, well I'm here for whatever happens. I might not be a superhero but I do work for a very powerful company and Jerry from the biotech department owes me about 20 favors. And I'll be her to patch you up, just try not to break anything cause then I really will have to insist on taking you to the ER." 
Kate gave you a massive grin as she said "You're my superhero though." 
"Okay! That was so cheesy it was physically painful to hear! Imma need you to go now!" 
Kate responded with the first genuine laugh you had heard from her in weeks before leaning in to give you another kiss. 
As she left the room she turned to look at you and Lucky all tucked into bed. "I love you both, I'll see you in the morning?" 
"We love you too! Ummm... If it's not too much to ask, do you think you could bring me breakfast in the morning? I have to do two days worth of work tomorrow and it would help a lot!" 
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ofduskanddreams · 2 years ago
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a not-so-brief announcement:
I have a lot of unfinished WiPs. Having so many WiPs (entirely my fault: too many ideas + not enough time) has been a large source of anxiety for me in recent weeks, to the point where it's been difficult for me to write at all.
Logically, I know that I'm doing this for free in my free time—I am under no obligation to create other than the one I set for myself. Realistically, I often feel like I'm letting you all down when I don't post/write enough. I know it isn't true, but it often feels like my value to this fandom is measured by how much content I can contribute to it. I've only been here for a little over a year, and I still often feel like a new kid trying to prove their worth.
Thinking this way sends me down a very unproductive spiral of putting pressure on myself to write/create and feeling guilty when I can't do as much as I want (my self-imposed expectations are also too high.) Instead of being a fun creative outlet, writing fic hasn't been enjoyable recently. That saddens me.
I hate feeling this way, honestly, because I love writing, I love storytelling, I love this fandom and these characters and the community I've gained here. I want to be here and I want to be writing because I have so many ideas and I love the stories I've already told/started to tell. But I also need it to be fun for me.
My list of WiPs, combined with all of my tangled feelings about writing, currently have me feeling like Sisyphus standing at the bottom of the hill trying and failing to catch a glimpse of the top around the massive boulder in front of him. I don't know how to find the joy that I've lost, but I do know that taking some of the pressure off of myself is a good place to start. This brings me to the reason I started writing this post.
The modern AU fic I started writing for Elucien Week has, in that classic turn of events, turned out to be far more extensive of a story than I intended. I estimate a total of 7-8 thick chapters. I have 10k words already written but that's only the first 1.25 chapters.
For the sake of my mental health, I will not be posting what I've written so far tomorrow as I originally had planned. I just can't deal with another WiP hanging over my head right now, I'm sorry.
I'm also going to give myself a break from writing/posting writing for the next few weeks because I think that my being burnt out is likely a major contributor to why writing fic hasn't been fun. I'll still be around, don't worry. Hopefully, this break will give me time to catch up on reading everyone else's fics.
Wow, it turns out I really needed to get that off my chest. I know this was long, thank you for listening <3
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silvermoon424 · 2 years ago
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>spend my entire working life being told I'm unproductive, lazy, unprofessional, etc and being reprimanded because I have ADHD/am autistic and I take frequent breaks to maintain focus. This happens even though I produce great results
>after my most recent reprimand at my job which involves losing WFH privileges for at least a month, I receive an outpouring of support from neurodivergent people on Tumblr and on r/ADHDwomen who tell me that I deserve better and that similar things have happened to them
>while I'm angry that this has happened to so many people I finally feel like I'm not a bad worker
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furryprovocateur · 1 year ago
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people were doing this with the pulse club victims and saying "DONT SHARE THEIR PICTURES AND NAMES THEY MIGHTVE BEEN TRANS AND YOURE POTENTIALLY DEADNAMING THEM" and to this day i still lack the adequate verbiage and phrasing to express how i feel but the long and short of it is that like. you could use this logic on literally anyone who has not recently unequivocally stated their gender and it comes from a place of compassion, but compassion is not the cure-all nor unobjectionable. if aaron bushnell was trans, he died never saying it. trying to breadcrumb his gender identity is ultimately pointless, as callous as it is to say, because something on that level he would've told someone or made diary entries about or. . . the list goes on. if you have to go into inference mode about someone's gender identity, broadly speaking, you're wasting your time. am i saying you should never use critical thought when looking at dead historical figures who were functionally trans but lacked the same verbiage for it we do or used antiquated verbiage for it? no, but when you spend your time playing sherlock on kurt cobain's gender identity, you should ask yourself "what is the end goal to this process? what am i realistically getting out of this? does this even matter if the person in question never called themselves trans?". for me, i know my own answers to those questions, so i have bias there. i don't necessarily begrudge anyone who answers differently, but i do hope people at least ask themselves these things before doing it.
and i acknowledge that this might be a hot take or whatever, so be it. i just think it's extremely unproductive to mull over small-scale questions that we will never get definitive answers to. let's stop distracting from the known and stated message bushnell wanted to share, which is to free palestine and death to amerikkka.
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serendipnpipity · 1 day ago
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Hello! This is an ask game so we can tag phan!! shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up + if you think they can be related to DnP or not. Copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals!!
I absolutely have to do this with the depth and care @bewareofthenewphannie did recently now. My playlists are way too nichely sorted to select five from a single list and maintain variability in my discussion, so the source material from this phanalysis comes from the first song to play on shuffle from five different playlists, the names of which I shall list as I go.
Playlist: Broadway for a Day "Champagne" from In the Heights - LMM & Karen Olivo
[VANESSA] You get everyone addicted to your coffee then off you go! [USNAVI] Vanessa, I don’t know why you’re mad at me. [VANESSA] I wish I was mad... [Vanessa kisses Usnavi.] I’m just too late. dnp connection? that one bit in dnp finally tell the truth when phil mentions they almost didn't move in together bc dan was scared being comfortable and being together would make him unproductive. it's about realizing, maybe, home is the very place you CAN grow. as usnavi says in the finale: "i've found my island/ i've been on it this whole time."
Playlist: Nobody But Me "Runner's High" by MUNA
Hit me (hit me so I know I can feel something) But I'm feeling alright (you said I'd regret it when I was leaving) (Funny how a fall can feel just like flying) Am I on a runner's high? dnp connection? maybe a dan connection, this feels like when he hit the brakes on youtube and took some time to do his own exploring. was it a massively risky plunge into the unknown? i'm sure it must have felt like that at times. but it worked out in the long run, and now both of them are back and better than ever. (and hey, he did try training for a marathon...)
Playlist: Talking to Strangers "The Party" by Maisie Peters
Oh, you and I are the last to leave the party I'm never gonna leave your side I'll take your chaos and your crooked in a heartbeat dnp connection? moving in a unit, you & me vs. the world, even when that world gets messy... it's them.
Playlist: I Have No Words "Who You Love" by Paul Leonard-Morgan
ooh an instrumental piece! but it's from Fellow Travelers, specifically this scene:
youtube
dnp connection? guys. please. secret relationship, secret QUEER relationship, and wishing they didn't have to tiptoe around each other in public... GUYS. PLEASE.
Playlist: goodnights and bookends "Serendipity" by Laufey
Y'all don't even need the lyrics. Fate is laughing at me. dnp connection? whose blog are you looking at???
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pyxisastronautica · 18 days ago
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The City of Steel
Outside the window, several stories below, and between a row of Victor’s units shielding the view, Echo watches a crowd massed outside of the steel mill’s gates. Steam rises from their hot breath not unlike the smoke that was funneled and filtered out of the industrial plant itself. A massive breathing thing, and a mass of breathing things, both staring each other down. As little as they thought of the holiday’s origins, they felt a little relieved for whatever little bit the bitter cold of blackout week may have thinned the crowd below- though clearly it wasn’t enough.
Their attention is drawn back to the scene in the conference room by its occupants’ words.
“Twenty percent pay increase and guaranteed health insurance is our best and final offer,” claims the cleancut and steely CEO of Hephaze, “This community lives and dies by the success of our business- and businesses do not survive without profit. Bleed us dry and it won’t matter how much you get of what your ‘union’ thinks it deserves.”
“What they think they deserve?” Yuma snarled, “Every penny of that profit is money skimmed off of their labor. Twenty percent does not nearly cover the increased cost of living in this city, and the health insurance you already do provide is pitiful. One in thirteen of your employees has cybernetics or prosthetics of some kind due to excessive overtime and poorly enforced workplace safety measures. In times gone by you may have been able to threaten them with allowing repossession and shuffling off ‘unproductive’ workers into the meat grinder that was Taros, but Taros has changed and the other cities are changing. Your old cudgels are breaking, and your workers are demanding better deals.”
“Strange that they chose you, a foreigner, to ask for them, then.”
“I was an employee of yours as well until recently.”
“An oversight by HR, one that has been rectified.”
“Oh I’m aware. That manager is outside that gate with the rest of them. Ten years of being hard-nosed for the company pissed away overnight because of something she didn’t know and wasn’t involved in.”
“Which wouldn’t have happened if not for you.”
“Or if you didn’t treat your people like they’re disposable.” Yuma leans forward, eyes burning holes into the executive’s head. “Fifty-five percent increase and the nullification of your workers’ medical debt. Anything less won’t be taken seriously. We are prepared to wait as long as it takes for you to listen to us,” Yuma’s eyes flickered over to Echo, then back to the executive, “I think you should be familiar at this point with my capacity to hold the line, foreigner though I am.”
The executive snaps his fingers to get Yuma’s attention, “You are dealing with me right now, Ms. Yuma. Mistrum Addleton will be speaking with you soon enough, I assure you. Let me also assure that as ‘broken’ as you think our ‘cudgels’ are, we are not strangers to rabblerousing in Styga and we deal with threats to our city accordingly. Think on that before you get people worked up over unserious demands.” The executive stood up, glanced briefly at Echo, and started walking out, “You’ll have plenty of time. No deal.”
Echo’s visage conveyed annoyance, but before they could express it, Yuma addressed the remaining human in the room.
“Hey man. Can we get some privacy?”
Ailis remained unmoving and silent as he guarded the door.
“Agent Douglas stays. He’s a trustworthy asset and a Hadean, even if not Stygian. I would have him aware and present so he can draw his own conclusions on present matters.”
Yuma quirked a brow at Echo. “That trustworthy huh?”
“Yes. Have you found no one here who’s the same to you?”
“I might have, if it didn’t blow your cover and thus potentially everyone else’s. Emilia and her crew have been good to us. But she’s still broken up about you. I sympathize with her in that respect, E, though I think telling her the truth right now would still be a bridge too far for both of us.”
Echo held up an index finger. “Appreciated, but we need to shelf that for now. You understand why I’m here, don’t you?”
“Running cover for your fellow suits, right?” 
Echo expression soured further. “I’m here because they hoped our history in Taros might give them an edge in negotiating with you- but yes, because failing that I’ve pledged support to them in exchange for merger negotiations. Yuma I know we’ve been able to dance around confrontation so far but you have to fold here?”
“Why should I?” Yuma replied, then added in a message to them:
Y: You have your armies. I have the ear of the masses. We can make them fold, and fast. While you have the trust of the corps we would both have the element of surprise. And in the wake of that we can arrange negotiations between Plutopolis and Styga the same as we did with Taros. Win-win, but you have to trust me.
Echo slumped forward, hands steepled as they frowned.
E: No. It’s not going to work this time, Yuma. I’m sorry. Truly I am. But the circumstances are different now, and different in this city.
Echo stood up and gestured to the city below, and the gathered crowd.
E: There’s no fancy footwork that can get you out of this. No tunnels to hide in or trees to hide behind. No dirt to dig in. What those people out there face is pure urban warfare- which their enemy is exclusively prepared for and which they aren’t. It isn’t going to be like anywhere else you’ve fought- it’s going to be a slaughter. 
Y: That’s why you
E: No. Listen to me, damnit. I can’t overplay my hand here. AcherEN has eyes on this place, and has since we both entered Styga. Taros’, Cocyte’s, and Fortuna’s economies are still recovering from their revolutions, and Phlegeth and Asphos are tenuously playing along right now because it’s marginally safer to do so thanks to our mutual friends’ efforts. But they will jump ship at the earliest convenience so fast that your head will spin- maybe literally. We face an uncontested south. If I don’t consolidate control here in the North soon we will collectively have nothing.
Yuma folded her arms
Y: Would you mind if I patched Juliet in to confirm your sentiments?
E: Please do.
Juliet entered their communications instantly, and Yuma repeated Echo’s words to her.
J: I’m sorry darling, but Echo does have the right of it in this instance as far as I can tell. Phlegeth might be committed to neutrality for the sake of its sovereignty, but Asphos’s silence was…not too willingly given, let’s say. We both know that was for the best given their…activities, but that doesn’t mean they’ve accepted the loss of control entirely.
They aren’t to be taken lightly if they’re forced into the theater of war. Some of the best cyborgs outside of Plutopolis and Acher, and a disproportionate number of doctors to keep their frontlines active. Giving them the chance to ally with Acher is dangerous.
Y: …Hmph. 
J: But! That doesn’t mean you have to do nothing. Go south, disrupt Dis instead, and Acher won’t have as much room to reach out, securing our progress here in the North. And if Echo does secure Styga, it’s not like they’re going to prioritize collapsing the unions entirely- they just won’t get the gains they were hoping for right now. 
Right, Echo dear?
E: …You know that it’s never been my goal to bust unions. They will be set back- for now- but yes. Anything you can do to ensure this would be not only earn my gratitude but ultimately be to the benefit of every union here. Once Acher is dealt with, I’ll have far more free reign to actually hear out their demands properly. 
Y: …Because Cosmo will be the only real game in town at that point. You realize when the dust settles your board is going start getting itchy again, don’t you? They keep you because you’re able to maintain momentum that makes them insane profit from your expansion, but you can’t expand forever. 
Likewise, my worth as a face for revolution only exists as much as I, too, have momentum. If I walk back now, if I lose face, I won’t be able to get anything going in Dis regardless.
E: Have you considered what will happen should you succeed, then? You leave the unions to their business and in a few decades you’ll end up with presidents turned warlords, no better off than things are right now. 
Y: I trust the people to not allow that to happen. They know what’s at risk if they do.
 E: Yet you set them up for failure by not giving them structures through which to resist that corruption!
Y: The arrogance of you. The people down there aren’t a mindless herd. They were building revolution well before we got here and they will have learned to do it better than either of us once we’re out of the picture. They can handle themselves. All you’re doing is stifling that energy.
E: All I’m doing is channeling it productively- which believe me, I know very well I will need to do if I am, as you suggested, to deal with my Board. I need all the help that I can get- and I don’t understand, GENUINELY I do not, why you keep insisting on throwing away yours.
Yuma stood up and sighed.
“I guess we’re done here then, huh?”
“I suppose we are. If you care about them as much as you say you do, figure something else out. Please. I don’t want to hurt them. And I don’t want to hurt you.”
E: You were my captain once. Whatever you are now, that still means something to me.
Y: …But not enough to trust me.
Yuma walked to the door, but paused for a moment, looking at Ailis again.
“Just one thing I don’t get though: you know what’s up, so what are you doing here, man?”
“My job,” the agent replied bluntly.
“But you’re a human. You have free will, don’t you? Or…do you?” Yuma leaned forward, as if trying to see through the agent’s visor, looking for sign of anything suspicious in his eyes.
Ailis was as still as a stone. “Neither coercion nor adjustment is required to make me do what I was contracted to do. When I commit my service to a company, it is until the termination or negation of my contract. Neither such condition has been met.”
“There has to be more to you than that, though.”
“No need of mine has gone unmet under the current conditions of my employment, and few of my wants that are able to be met aren’t.”
“A cozy lapdog, then.”
“A loyal agent,” Echo interjected, “as loyal as any of us to his purpose, even if his is of choice.”
Ailis nodded, adding nothing.
Yuma looked pained at the exchange, for some reason, and walked out.
Outside the gates, the crowd had quieted, for now, but hadn’t left. In makeshift shelters they camped, only a few standing guard in case the rest needed to be alarmed. Lima stood quietly among the sentinels, restless and unblinking, holding Oats against her chest. The rat was warm, but their coat was dull now, and they slept more often than they didn’t. A part of her was afraid that what was to come might stop their little heart entirely, though she reasoned that would maybe be as merciful an end as she could give them.
Above her towered the mill. Full of machines being as diligent in their work as they could be without oversight, she should have felt some kindred to it, but none existed. It was like some grand malevolent worm, coiled  ommunity rooftop gardens, whose children played in the crowded halls of dense apartments with pure zest for life inside of them, whose elderly huddled in the shadows of their kin and told stories to their children. What moved through her circulatory pump and theirs couldn’t be more different, but they understood the rhythm of existence in a way the stagnant thing before her never could.
Nonetheless, at present, it was not entirely lifeless either. Within it were those who owned it, their hired guns, and now the remainder of her own teammates. She had no breath to hold, but the anticipation was still there.
Within the first plant of Hephaze, metal was normally shaped into standardized components, robotic arms still assembling as much as they could despite nobody being present to oversee their work. Their humming and whirring was indifferent to all else, quite unlike the four androids picking their way through the relative dark only illuminated by the faint lights signalling the functionality of the other machinery. It was enough for them though, at least.
Yuma pulled the explosive from her pack, and her teammates did the same. Remote charges, enough to take out the central furnaces and the first conveyor belt on the line. Hers was but one team, tackling the plant, but the factories would be hit before long too. Only one team needed to succeed to push the situation in Styga over the edge, but each subsequent one that did would make the total blow that much stronger. She was resolved to guarantee hers would be one of them.
She looked amongst her teammates when they had reached a wide connecting path, and gave a nod to the others to split up, but before any of them could move they were interrupted. 
The apparent passage of time to a computer, especially in robots of their caliber, was magnitudes slower than that of what any human experienced- but their bodies couldn’t always keep up. Yuma, for example, could see a  bullet travelling directly towards her left eye from a few meters back, but barely had time to move out of the way when it raced past her like an angry bee, sliding against synthetic skin and leaving faint tears as it did- something she’d have to cover up later. She could also hear the bullet as it ricocheted off metal pipes before (probably) denting one of them and bouncing off, but her focus was on the source of the shot from the direction of two bright, piercing orange eyes.
Leering from high above on a catwalk, Echo addressed all androids present on an open channel.
E: All of you: this is your last warning. You are accomplishing nothing more than endangering all of the humans of this city, even those you claim to want to save. You are my crewmates and I do not wish you harm, so I am giving you this one opportunity. Leave.
Yuma drew her morningstar once again, thin arcs of electricity dancing between the points. Not for the first time she wondered how much of the time spent making it together Echo had regretted (they had always been so dependable, almost as eager to help as Quebec at the drop of a hat despite their grousing), but even as far as she could zoom in on their face, she couldn’t read anything in their expression.
Y: Your next shot won’t be so easy, and even a sharpshooter like you can’t hit all of us at once.
E: If I were you I wouldn’t bet on that, for one, but I’m also not relying on trickshots either.
The menacing hum of plasma swords being activated came from behind them as Uniform and Victor stepped out of the shadows. Like a pair of theater masks, Uniform seemed pleased as punch at the little reunion happening while Victor glowered holes into the back of Yuma’s head, though to his greater frustration Whiskey seemed intent on blocking the view.
Y: Hey V. Sorry we didn’t talk earlier, though I imagine you wouldn’t have had much to say.
V: Indeed. I was too busy protecting my captain from potential assassination. And you, for that matter.
W: Awww how sweet, don’t tell me you got a little crush on Coco up there while we were away. You’ll make a feller jealous.
V: I look forward to carving you in twain.
W: Victor, there are ladies present.
Y: Yeah and they’re saying fucking move it cowboy, let’s go.
Whiskey smacked his forehead. 
W: Right, duh. Well! Adios, amigo.
…And then jetted with Foxtrot up into the air with their aeropacks. There was precious little room to move around compared to what either of the pilots would have liked, and the security officers jumps were nothing to sneeze at, but in their element Foxtrot and Whiskey were as untouchable as the wind. Programming and millenia of experience gave them precise spatial knowledge and prediction, enough that when operating the Pyxis- short of being caught completely off guard- they could thread their way between planets at superluminal speeds, and even asteroid belts at near-light speeds. Even without the superior processing power and speed of their ship, it was typically trivial for them to dodge lasers and bullets, even if only by hair-thin margins.
And all that they needed to do was deliver their cargo. As long as Papa and Yuma could keep Uniform and Victor busy, Echo would be forced to focus on shooting down two humanoid jets, and attention on one would allow the other to make progress- perhaps even go back to their comrades to deliver their explosives as well. 
But acting like keeping up with the two soldiers was easy would have been a grave understatement. Uniform and Victor together were a well-oiled machine, so to speak. Victor’s hardlight shield could block Papa’s shots and standard blows from Yuma’s morningstar easily while he moved up on them steadily, while Uniform danced around the battlefield with the grace of a ballerina and the speed of a race car at full throttle. Her plating was lighter and more insulating, if slightly more brittle than Victor’s, which let her dash in to make shallow cuts and dash out to hide behind her brother in arms.
When she was truly focused, it became clear that Uniform was rarely ever pressed to do more than toy with her opponents to wear them down. Yuma wondered whether or not it was sadism, caution, or some deep-seated inclination towards mercy that kept the pale bot from committing to making blows that would have left her inoperable. Perhaps it was all three.
A moment of overzealousness seemed to provide an answer at last, until Foxtrot dived down from above to kick her, throwing off Uniform’s balance just enough that it gave Yuma the opportunity to land a solid blow against the soldier’s chest, sending her flying back with deep scratches tarnishing white paint.
Foxtrot hovered in air a moment, smug, until a shot from Echo pinged against her aeropack. It wouldn’t stop her from taunting, though, as she spun and looped to circling back around.
F: Cocky as ever, eh Officer? This is why I always won at our simulated games.
U: That’s not fair, you cheat!
F: What is it you called cheating? “Using everything to your advantage”, was it?
Uniform pulled out her laser pistol, concentrating on her aim, only to hear a clang from Yuma’s mace hitting Victor’s shield, and a few scolding remarks from Victor besides which stung worse than the blow could have. It was an unusual moment of indiscretion from her, but Foxtrot had been one of the few bots on the ship that could sometimes beat her in simulations- namely flight and starship simulations. Their dogfights could last for days, but strategy could only get her to victory a little less than half the time.
Oh well. She shrugged off the distraction and turned back to focusing on her job of cutting off either Papa or Yuma from delivering their payloads, though now it was clear she’d have to keep one eye on the ceiling. Echo at least apologized for not making appropriate callouts.
The engineer themselves had a few tricks up their sleeve, at least. Though they couldn’t cloak in all wavelength ranges at once, neither could the other androids see in all wavelengths at once. Knowing that their opposing crewmates would be aware of that, they’d either be sticking to one band and trying to power through, dividing up bands between the four of them, or switching rapidly between sensors. If Echo randomly altered their invisibility, it might not keep them entirely hidden, but would allow them to “blink out” long enough to line up a shot from an unknown direction.
In that fashion, Echo actually managed to land a shot that punched clear through Whiskey’s knee, which made the green-eyed bot swear loudly in shock, but to his credit Whiskey got a little more serious about it and began to swoop down on Echo themselves and altering his own visibility- though moreso to distract, since the aeropack’s use left an infrared trail. 
Not being much of a brawler, it seemed to Whiskey as though he’d had his former coworker on the backfoot- still shooting at him, yes, but forced to move on his terms. He’d underestimated how wily a rattlesnake like Echo could be, though, he realized too late. Something wrapped around his ankle and was overloading his systems. Charlie, who had only been cloaking her heat signature to avoid standing out but who otherwise had kept herself hidden out of view, had drawn out her stun whip and was sending out lightning-like bolts of such a voltage that could only just overcome his insulation, but directly pulsed signals that inhibited motion. It was barely all that he could do to let out a heavily artifacted screech to alert his teammates of the danger as he twitched and spasmed on the ground. 
As a robot, he could feel no pain, but he could feel panic. 
Alarmed, Foxtrot immediately left to find her copilot, managing to take hold of Papa’s charges before leaving him to do his best against Victor who, moments after, bashed the first mate over a conveyor belt with his shield. She couldn’t allow herself to be slowed down by it. People were counting on her. Yuma was counting on her. With nothing left to stop her, she hastily deposited her weapons- nearly being snared by Bravo, who had also come out of the woodwork, in the process. She knew the two admins, like the captain and first mate, had been issued stun whips- but she could count on one hand when she’d seen either B or C use one. That either the bosun or quartermaster could have handled them so well was a surprise to her, though perhaps being here had changed them too.
It didn’t matter much now. She had to figure out a way to free Whiskey. Hovering far up above she stared down at her fellow flyer, now grounded.
“Fo-Fo-Fo-Fox, g-g-g-g-g-g-” the cowboy tried forcing through his speakers, eyes flickering.
In quick succession, Uniform, Victor, Yuma, Papa, Bravo, and Charlie made their way to the scene. 
Uniform, being the quickest there, held her blade over Whiskey’s central core. There was, oddly, no joy in her doing so, just numb attentiveness.
E: Stand down, Foxtrot.
Foxtrot did not, not immediately. She went to reach for something in her pockets instead, but stopped when Uniform lowered the blade enough to blacken and melt Whiskey’s clothes. Yuma, as she caught up and took stock of the situation, told her to land nearby, but not on the ground. Foxtrot’s aeropack remained up and active, a low roar from it as she perched like a bird of prey atop a robotic arm whose production line was not currently in use. 
F: Let him go, Echo. There’s no need to keep stunning him.
E: Turn off your pack, then.
F: Let him go first.
E: You are not in a position to negotiate.
Y: I am, though. I still have my charge and the signal to trigger it. I can blow us all skyhigh right now.
E: And risk everything you’ve worked for? Who wins if everyone in this room is gone? None of us, certainly. Not the people outside. Maybe the people upstairs, for a while at least. But you know what happens if we’re out of the picture. If you took a microsecond to think things over for once you’d remember that. 
You want as many people leaving this building as came in? Then stay put while I disarm your damn bombs. Turn them on and Uniform will turn Whiskey off, permanently. 
Y: And why should I trust you to release him? Or any of us without a fight.
Echo cast a tired, withering stare towards Yuma.
E: You can’t. Stars only know that I would lock the bunch of you away if I could for the remainder of our stay, if only to keep you from doing something idiotic that endangers all of us, but I won't because I honor the promises I make. You can believe whatever the hell you want, but as much faith as you ask for, Yuma, you’ve never really given enough to me. If I thought you ever would have I would’ve told you about the colony.
Echo caught themselves mid-thought, abruptly stopped their message, and started to storm off. Yuma went to follow them, and Victor moved to intercept her, but their shoulders were caught by Papa and Bravo respectively.
Y: TOLD ME WHAT? TOLD ME WHAT ABOUT THE COLONY, ECHO?
E: …Told you that I knew about it, and what TCCAI had made of it, despite it asking for my secrecy. Told you that there was nothing we could do about that and that we should’ve stuck to our mission. Told you not to do what I know you would’ve done and gotten us all assimilated trying to free people who probably wouldn’t have even wanted to be.
Y: …All those years, huh? I thought you were depressed. I felt for you. I tried to break you out of that funk- half the crew did- but you were just preparing mutiny against me. It must have felt good finding out about here huh? Cut out all the waiting? Or did you already know about that too?
E: Not even TCCAI knew about Hades. Believe me, if it had, I doubt I would’ve been able to stop it from trying to do what it might still do if it's dissatisfied with the results of our meddling. 
I never wanted to take your place, Yuma. I remember a time when you were as inspirational to me as you were to everyone else. But I had concerns about those fiery daydreams of yours and how they would burn down the Triskelion. It seems I was vindicated in doing so.
Echo continued to walk away, but Yuma could only ball her fists together. From behind shut eyes, she felt as though rage was turning her vision into static. No, it was only the electricity surging out of her power core doing that. But she couldn’t fight it, and didn’t want to.
Y: I guess you were.
Yuma raised her mace and released a bolt of lightning whose thunder rattled the walls of the mill and caused everyone present (sans Foxtrot, the only one able to move out of contact with the floor in time) to brown out, including herself. But she came to clarity quicker than the others this time, and Foxtrot swiftly grabbed Whiskey and began flying for the exit. 
The singular punctuation mark of rage should have been enough to quell her fury, but something sickly and cold ran through Yuma’s circuits as she stood over Echo while their own teammates were sluggishly pulling themselves up. She could’ve ended it now. Who would’ve been left to carry their flag? Victor? X-ray, maybe?
From somewhere in the distance a door slammed open. Fuck, reinforcements. Though not many, by the sound of it. Maybe she could take Echo hostage and-
“WAIT.”
Quebec was in full sprint towards her. Had they listened to everything? Had they seen everything? She knew Quebec too well to feel threatened- and if she didn’t, she reckoned she’d have earned whatever death the golden-eyed android gave her. Quebec clearly had no such interests, though, as they threw themselves over Echo.
“Listen, I- Yuma- I don’t agree with everything Echo does either but please-”
Victor was helped to his feet by one of the other pairs of footsteps, that dogged Agent again, and Uniform and Echo were up shortly after. Yuma backed up. She was outnumbered unless she could pull the same stunt twice, and if she did she may not have had the energy to escape before proper reinforcements showed up. She took a step back, dragging Papa by the arm, who had a grim, sad look about him.
Bravo and Charlie both readied their whips, but had their aim thrown off- the former by Quebec and the latter by the last pair of footsteps.
Juliet was tossed roughly to the floor by a surprised Uniform, but picked herself up and dusted herself up without seeming phased much. 
J: Sorry I’m late. Traffic was bad. Mounted-turret trucks take up so much room.
E: Don’t tell me
J: Yes, Acher’s here. But there’s no time to get into that.
You should let them run. 
U: They can run as far as they like! I could catch them regardless.
J: We should also run, given what’s going to happen once they clear their exit.
E: We can do both things.
J: Thorn in your side or not, you still need her. You won’t get to all the explosives in time, so prepare to salvage what you can. 
Echo nodded, begrudgingly. By the skin of their teeth, Uniform would be able to grab the explosive from the main furnace and they could deactivate it, but there wouldn’t be enough time to escape the other explosions. Fortunately, though it cost Victor most of his focus and a fair bit of his energy, the golden android was able to alter his hardlight shield into a dome that could absorb the brunt of the blow.
Echo looked around at the scattered wreckage of the steel mill and grit their ceramic teeth. It was going to be a downright miserable time explaining this to their business partners, if marginally less than it could have been.
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