#rebellion of sort???
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Draw req..... seph braiding her hair like aeriths.......
(she has too much hair to put in one braid) what a good request my god anyways. time to feel unwell about sephagain.
THANKS 4 DA ASK!
#incorporating into my hcverse that seph has/had a habit of braiding her hair when she was alone just as like. an idle motion#id like to think that one of the very few scraps of choice/agency they gave her was hair length and it was sort of a rebellion-#- +gender thing to let her hair grow so long#also because i think theres something (maybe this is because im jp) sort of... unsettling? about really long hair bc in jp tradition you#believe that luck/curses/energy can be stored in the hair so u cut ur hair if u want a fresh start etc it just gives a very 'shes dragging#something dead and heavy forward with her' vibe#btw this is not my reading of canon this is just smt i MADEUP i dont thinkt he creators intended that w her hair lmfao#cave mail#ff7#ffvii#sephiroth#fanart#transfemiroth#mine#also i have an aerith/seph hair braiding comic(?) lying around almost finished but idk if i should post it cuz i dont want ppl to think its#completely intended to be romantic or whatever when its more ab aerith
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Another little Dune Part 2 detail I only noticed today : when Chani enters the throne room at the end of the movie, the other Fremen reach out to touch her shoulders in a sign of respect just like they did with Paul at the end of the first film.
[Paul, conversely, (and @fuckyeahisawthat and I have both talked about this A Lot) doesn't touch anyone but Feyd and very briefly the emperor for the entire final scene.]
There are other little moments that suggest where I'm going with this; of course there's that one shot of her in the midst of battle that directly replicates Paul's vision of himself from the first film, even the moment during the war council right before Paul makes his big speech she gets up and commands the crowd, albeit briefly, to say her piece ("this prophecy is how they enslave us"). What I'm getting at is that Chani subtly spends the second movie becoming what Paul was supposed to be and initially wanted to be - a leader who is respected by her people while still fighting alongside them, rejecting the true nature of the oppression of her people and not falling into the trap of the prophecy and messiah.
#dune#dune part 2#idk i had this revelation and brain went brrrrr#wondering if this will be touched on a little in part 3#a lot of folks have wondered if chani's role in that film will be as a leader of some sort of rebellion against paul's rule#and i wonder if she'll be deliberately now presented as a sort of foil to him#her being almost in a similar position he used to be in (minus the chosen one stuff)#and also shown to be doing it better than he ever could#idk i'm Thinking
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after ep 11 and the marriage contract reveal and seeing a lot of speculation that they are a god of anarchy (already v connected to figs character) i rewatched the scene between her and porter and zara talking about where she gets her powers from fig says about kristen (and cass) “she’s doubt, im rebellion, they go hand in hand” and brennan lays it on thickkk about fig pledging herself to rebellion would also make kristen (and cass) stronger !!!
#d20#dimension 20#fhjy#fig faeth#emily axford#brennan lee mulligan#okay 1 these people are geniuses#kristen applebees#ally beardsley#okay okay listen#fig says rebellion and doubt go hand in hand#ankarna who seems so be some sort of ancient forgotten fiery deity who was MARRIED TO CASSANDRA#i think ankarna is a god of anarchy and rebellion and fire and passion and blaze yknow#to go hand in hand with cassandras cool calming embrace of darkness and mystery#FURTHRERMORE#i am starting to suspect sol had some part in getting rid of ankarna just like how galicaea had her followers do to cass#but i think that sol took all the domains of ankarna and incorporated them into his worship until ankarna had nothing left but rage#and u can definitely scrub clean the name of a god of rage but u cant remove rage from peoples hearts babeyyyy#long live ankarna :)
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ok so qsmp keeps having references to heaven, purgatory and hell.
Particularly weve seen an angel cucurucho in a rubius stream + weve seen what purgatory and hell are through the event and quackity's streams. Thsi means that maybe the federation and quesadilla island are supposed to be heaven
so either they are literally heaven OR they are trying to be a sort of heaven. I personally think the second is more interesting and makes more sense. It would explain why its not perfect despite trying to be. It explains their seemed obssession with birds and avians. It explains their obsession of trying to make things perfect and make all islanders happy. It matches their color scheme of being white.
I dont know how they will go about this and the worldbuilding around it is completely up to them and hard to predict.
Still the religious stuff will lead for some insane fanart and imagery im hyped
#qsmp#Maybe we can get a heaven vs hell sort of storyline with the rebellion vs the federation#ive been pushign that idea for so long nwo i really wanna see it happen i want the conflict
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I do think this game loses a lot by not having any real origins/2 style abominations.
Both in terms of contrast with what Lucanis/spite have going on but also all the undead as well. A failed Zara experiment shouldn't be a random undead in a cavern shouldn't be an undead in the necropolis. Am I making sense?
#i never thought i would miss that incredibly overused abomination model but. man. 😭#i am commiting the crime of thinking about otigins and two again i need to stop#you know the fucking problem with dragon age is that the first two are phenomenal story wise but in retrospect -#it feels like anything good that gaider era set up was written by accident#then inq is a religious imperialism simulator where im supposed to pretend im playing a good guy and it also destroyed almost everything -#that was good about the worldbuilding- explaining the magic is one thing#what they did to the elves was another- way more racist- thing.#the mage rebellion flunking being another can of worms which was most likely borne of cowardice seeing da2's reception#maybe im off about that i wasn't there but either way#inq is abysmal and the world it left behind is so... not thedas. that it's difficult to reconcile anything after it with what came before#siiiiigh it's not veilguard's fault#ten years would not be enough for me to figure out how to sort this shit either. and that's not even counting the time ea -#wanted this to be a live service sequel#it just sucks man#in a better timeline they just said fuck it and retconned the entirety of inq and made something different#in an even better timeline inq never happened. man do i envy that one.#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age
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haymitch and chaff rant once again but do you think about how if they were partners hypothetically how they would have a reputation to uphold (despite being alcoholics and despite being shunned for it even though it IS a sickness) and how homosexuality would not bode well as a victor, especially not BETWEEN two victors. and how they'd have never gotten to live a life where their love wasn't scrutinized/something shameful not only because one of them doesn't survive to see that life, but maybe it would've been frightening. i love you/despite it being a form of rebellion/despite what we are and what we represent. i love yous could never be public, they would never be a common word at gatherings where your hand is clasped over mine and the night has crept in and we've had too much to drink!!!
#they are so once more to see you by mitski guys#also think about how they would've NEVER gotten to have a wedding. especially not one like finnick & annie's#so what if some of the victors are accepting my general consensus is that do we REALIZE what kind of world they live in.#i think love between victors wlw or mlm would be seen as some sort of rebellion#they would never see sunrise together in a world where they'd be safe#i KNOW that the captiol has very campy couture and culture but it's a futuristic dystopia.#they're not doing it to show pride i fear#anyway#chaffnathy#haymitch abernathy#chaff thg#the hunger games#thg#catching fire#mockingjay#i am physically weeping!!!!
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I get that it's a conversation with many nuances and i don't wanna sound like a gamerbro ranting about how western media is too woke bc the female charas don't look like a misogynist caricature of a woman, but i'm kind of sick of how "strong female character" is often meant to also not be feminine at all. I get that gender roles should be destroyed, but i feel like atp it's just another way to go "to be powerful, you need to conform to masculinity" rather than a celebration of gnc women because why is it only the "strong" ones who get to be gnc. Etc etc.
What i'm saying is i want female characters who are buff and powerful, but also have such a feminine style that it verges on ironising femininity
#i'm talking remember how lolita fashion started as a rebellion against the sexualisation of women's fashion and women themselves by#extension? i'm thinking that sort of exaggerated femininity bordering on ironising#also i love lili from tekken
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Hi! In Walking Disaster, if Patroclus didn’t catch Achilles in time, would he have made it to Thetis? And if so, how would that go? Thank you and I hope October treats you well! (September suuuuuuuucked)
Hi anon! I'm guessing you're referring to Achilles running away from home in Ch. 12 right? I honestly don't think he would have made it very far lmao first of all he didn't really have much money on him or anything else, he just grabbed his backpack and threw in a tshirt and a bottle of water and a couple other things and left, he was too angry to fully plan this out. But even if he did manage to get all the way to Athens and go to his aunt's house where Thetis was staying at the time before her flight back to Russia, I doubt she would have let him stay with her for very long. Not because she doesn't want him, but because Peleus' lawyers are no joke 😬 The last thing she would want would be to be accused of abducting Achilles or something, and have Peleus win sole custody and bar her from seeing him ever again. So flying with him to Stavropol and living there happily ever after or something along those lines is out of the question.
.... but, realistically, if we're being totally honest, I would fully expect Achilles to balk the very moment he reached the train station and turn right back 🤣 because he cannot go even a few steps without Patroclus. Like, as soon as he would walk up to the ticket office his anger would go away and he'd just start pathetically crying because he cannot fathom leaving him behind, then he'd feel extremely guilty that he even contemplated it. Especially since they still haven't cleared the air after their argument a few days back!!! In his own peculiar way, Achilles can sort of handle his mother abandoning him for a second time, but being without Patroclus would just be too much. I simply don't think he'd be able to go through with it.
Thank you so much for this ask!! I do hope October is kinder to all of us 💙
#disasters au#disasters spoilers#listen they're each other's ride or die for real 😭#achilles might have been a dick to pat in the previous chapters but he really didn't mean it#he was just so so scared and so hurt and it all sort of spilled out in every direction#he couldn't have gone through with his rebellion unless pat was on board and pat would never be on board#so staying in phthia it is#patrochilles
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Fen'harel's Rebellion
He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Nietzsche
A rebellion against an empire of totalitarian rule, especially one that exceeds a simple theocracy - where the rulers themselves are "gods" to their subjects - is an incredibly difficult war to win. Aside from superior numbers and unsurpassable magical powers, you're fighting a war against an ideology that is ruthlessly enforced on its subjects, including literal mind control. "Your king is your god." How do you fight that?
Fen'harel's rebellion was a nearly hopeless but necessary war. A peaceful protest was never going to free the elven people from tyrannical god-kings, especially those who could control people's minds. The rebellion liberated slaves and spirits, so in that sense, every liberation was a victory. I think that's largely what Felassan saw their role as: chip away at the gods' control but above all else, save the people. That was once Solas' view as well. But as it dragged on, the war changed them, as is inevitable in this kind of brutal, centuries long guerrilla war.
Felassan: When we first started, this was a safe place for spirits who joined our cause to find peace from the stress of battle. Now...I don't know. Not a lot of spirits use it any longer. Have they grown stronger, or has the fight against the Evanuris made demons of us all?
No matter how justified a war is and regardless of whether you're on the side of the angels or not, war will always take its toll. And every liberation came at the cost of more lives. For Solas, he may have been twisted into Pride during the Titan war, but the rebellion and its end was the final nail in the coffin of his moral high ground.
The rebellion was effective enough that the gods grew desperate, and Elgar'nan went with the nuclear option - scorch the entire earth with the blight. How can you fight a war of liberation if both sides are consumed by an unrelenting, indiscriminate evil? So the Dread Wolf answered in kind - create the Veil.
tl;dr: Fen'harel's rebellion was a necessary war that destroyed what was left of Solas, and once his path turned from justice to vengeance, the overall impossible goal of overthrowing the gods became more important than the people he'd set out to save.
Tactics
The frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward. The Imperial need for control is so desperate because it is so unnatural. Tyranny requires constant effort. It breaks, it leaks. Authority is brittle. Oppression is the mask of fear. And know this, the day will come when all these skirmishes and battles, these moments of defiance will have flooded the banks of the Empires’s authority and then there will be one too many. One single thing will break the siege. - Andor
Fen’harel’s rebellion was a guerrilla war. Traditional battles were unwinnable - the gods had superior numbers and power beyond what any of the rebels could muster. We saw that in the Disruption memory - once they reached the gates of Elgar'nan's citadel, he unleashed a power so great that it leveled both his army and the rebel army.
I posit that Solas' was a rebellion grounded in manipulative tactics on two primary fronts: subterfuge and propaganda.
We have many examples of their subterfuge: They sabotaged supply lines (Solas to Sera), destroyed labs (lyrium knights, Ghilan’nain memory), sowed dissent among the gods’ loyalists and even the Evanuris themselves (kill the other daughter), fanned the flames of discord in the gods’ subjects (lyrium knights), assassinated leaders (the courser - failed assassination attempt), and stole weaponry and artifacts (disruption memory).
Solas: You have already divided your group's membership. That is wise. No one cell can betray all your secrets. The next step is to establish a rhythm. When your enemies pursue, you vanish. When they become complacent, you harass them. When they are weak, you strike in earnest.
Solas' ruthlessly pragmatic approach to rebellion extended to his own forces in a brutal way.
Solas: Some of your forces, valuable until now, have no interests beyond creating disruption. Chaos for its own sake. They must be repositioned where they can do no harm, or removed if necessary. You replace them with organizers willing to build a new system and carry out the ugly work that must be done.
The propaganda war was just as important. Aside from Fen'harel statues and altars, Fen'harel sent multiple public notes to the people of Arlathan and beyond that undermined the gods and tried to illustrate that they were just people and afraid of losing power. The Evanuris did the same to him, painting him as this malevolent, almost demonic force that sought to disrupt the gentle rule of the Evanuris.
Evanuris note found in Vir Dirthara: Beware the forms of Fen'Harel! The Dread Wolf comes in humble guises, a wanderer who knows much of the People and their spirits. He will offer advice that seems fair, but turns slowly to poison. Remember the price of treason, and keep in your heart the mercy of your gods. Fen’harel’s letter “Against the So-Called Gods”: I am only a danger to the powerful. No, the lyrium knights are meant to defend against you, to stifle resistance and protect the Evanuris. Would real gods need protection from their own worshippers? Felassan: Many dead, far more than the casualties we inflicted. The story being spread is that we killed everyone. Andruil’s servants made examples of a few and claimed the Dread Wolf is trying to weaken Arlathan by attacking servants and destroying the wards. It’s hard to tell what people really believe now... I know you’re likely berating yourself reading this. Just remember the faces of the people we saved. We can’t control what the Evanuris do.
Many of the rebellion's victories were Pyrrhic victories. For every slave they freed, the gods killed a dozen more. For every protest they inspired, the gods leveled a village. Solas became more focused on stealing these victories rather than contemplating the larger cost.
Felassan: Andruil and Ghilan’nain made a big show of putting down a protest in the east personally…Andruil left a crater where the town stood, and Ghilan’nain is using the people taken prisoner as fodder for her experiments. This isn’t your fault, but still, this is exactly what I was worried about. It’s not enough to be right about these things. we have to think about the consequences.
The war is made harder by not having clear sides. Let me explain: the Evanuris are unequivocally the oppressors, and the rebels are unequivocally the freedom fighters. Some of the Evanuris' generals and soldiers were absolutely willing participants in their tyranny. This isn't an argument akin to "they were just following order." No. Those people were culpable. But some weren't acting with free will. We've seen what Elgar'nan can do to a mind on a grand scale, as well as what someone like Anaris can do to people's wills with those masks. How much free will can someone have when their very thoughts are stolen or warped? How do you fight someone like that and remain on a firm moral high ground? And what of those somewhere in the middle of Loyal General to Unwitting Slave? Solas' low approval line is illuminating:
Inquisitor: With your power you could do something. Solas: Who would I attack? A gate guard? What if he felt sorry for the poor knife-ears under his watch? Or the lord who rules the city? Would his death at an elven apostate’s hands lead to better treatment for elves? There is no simple solution. I think you know that. Why attack me for knowing it as well?
I think Solas would still fight them. But he absolutely recognizes the grey area he's in.
The God of Rebellion
The Dread Wolf was the face of the rebellion, and the one the gods focused on - cut off the head of the snake, etc. We know he didn't act alone - "General" Felassan was the one actually building the rebellion, and we know they had war councils in the Lighthouse. Solas, when not the rebellion's Face, was essentially its architect. He created the network of mirrors, etc.
But to fight gods, one must nominally become a god. The "Dread Wolf" needed to be more than just a freedom fighter. The title needed to be something people who were accustomed to worshipping leaders would risk their lives to rally around. The Dread Wolf was a symbol - it gave hope to his allies, and instilled fear in his enemies. This doesn't seem to have been Solas' idea - I can't find the codex quote right now, but Felassan urges Solas that they needed to play up the "Dread Wolf" angle.
Solas was not a fan of this idea. He rebelled because the Evanuris declared themselves gods. He didn't want to be part of a pantheon. But like Sawyer said, the people made him a god. That was the role into which he was cast, and that he ultimately played. [in his "god" ending we see its roots may have dug in deeper than he ever cared to admit (I still hate it though, it feels more Yes He's the Villain! than consistent with his character, but whatever)].
This is a bit more headcanon territory, but I think his "god"status also put him in the unfortunately unique position of having to face the gods themselves when they entered the field (when escape itself was not an option). Despite being woefully underlevelled against the Evanuris, him fighting a god in battle was useful distraction to help the real work proceed without the Evanuris wiping them out. We see him wounded by Elgar'nan when trying to distract him. The story of Fen'harel and the Tree sees him captured and tortured by Andruil and hunted by Anaris. He can't beat them, but when he has to, it's him that must fight them.
Psychological Toll
My anger, my ego, my unwillingness to yield, my eagerness to fight, they've set me on a path from which there's no escape. I yearned to be a savior against injustice without contemplating the cost and by the time I looked down, there was no longer any ground beneath my feet. - Andor
As the rebellion dragged on and the cost and relative hopelessness of the situation increased, it started to chip away at Solas' resolve and his moral high ground, even more than the Titan war did (see the difference between the memory of fighting Elgar'nan to free the captives versus the Disruption memory). The propaganda war took its toll, and the pyrrhic victories ground away at him:
Solas: I suppose I’m just tired of fighting. Inquisitor: What do you mean you’re tired of fighting? Fighting what? Solas: Did you think I honed my magical skills to impress spirits? I have joined my share of causes. But when I offered lessons learned in the Fade, I was derided by my enemies, and sometimes by my allies. Liar. Fool. Madman. There are endless ways to say someone isn’t worth listening to. Over time, it grinds away at you… You do not win a war by fighting to the death in every battle. Pick the fights you can win, remember your goals, and do nothing that does not further them.
Mythal's murder was the final straw that broke whatever noble heroism Solas had left to claim. Felassan gently mourns that "[t]here was something left for the war to take from you after all." Solas descended into single-minded vengeance. The overall impossible goal of overthrowing the gods became more important than the people he'd set out to save. He sacrificed hundreds of spirits in the Disruption memory as a distraction for his agents to obtain a god overthrowing relic (likely the lyrium dagger).
The Veil
Despite what he says in Trespasser, Solas knew that the Veil would be at least somewhat destructive to their world. He hid his plan from Felassan because he knew Felassan would object on moral terms. But it's too simple to just blame him for choosing the nuclear option. I do believe that "every alternative was worse." He knew what the blight would do, so stopping its users and sealing both it and the Evanuris away was the most logical option when faced with an impossible situation. But it's also important to note that this was not just about stopping the blight - it was about punishing the Evanuris for Mythal's murder. "A crime for which an eternity of torment was the only fitting punishment."
Solas lost sight of the purpose of the rebellion. But no matter what Veilguard tries to show in terms of his overall goal (restore the world Mythal wanted), his goal as outlined in Trespasser is a more compelling look into why he rebelled in the first place, and why he adopted such ruthless tactics:
I will save the elves, even if this world must die.
#in sum: watch Andor. it's a picture perfect illustration of the tactics and moral toll this sort of rebellion takes#ive tried to rely on fiction versus world examples#but if you want IRL sources buddy i have them in spades#headcanons#long post#veilguard spoilers#inquisition was literally giving us everything
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Rebellion kind of amazes me as a film because on first watch it's very confusing and you feel iffy about what happens in it, then on second watch you realize the plot and character decisions actually make perfect sense. Like even the twists seem obvious to the point where you wonder how you didn't guess them. It's definitely a film that requires marination in your brain and is aided by a rewatch or two.
Also the fact that the ending is logically a positive for most of the characters and brings retribution more than the show, but it still leaves you feeling so hollow and incomplete, contrasted to the show's ending being tragically bittersweet but hopeful for a better world and future... It's a marvel.
#rambles#madoka magica#madoka magica rebellion#i remember feeling like the film gets sort of lost in itself on first watch#but now i don't feel that way anymore it just makes sense to me
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im gonna need more people to start being insane about that latest fpe letter like right now
#im so extremely normal about it and not jumping to any sort of conclusions or being insane#[pacing around my room like a caged animal] letter. letter addressing clancy. letter to clancy. about the rebellion.#letter to clancy about the rebellion from someone who knows a lot about what’s going on#PLEASE GOD. LETTER FROM TORCHBEARER.#SPEAK‼️‼️‼️ SAY WORDS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ PLEASE#im normal.#tøp#twenty one pilots#babble bee
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I think its neat how if it was any other member of the rebellion that got found family-ed in the FFD au, the rebellion probs would have still happened. If it was Venti, then Carmen would have 40000% pointed out how innocent and sweet Venti was when he came to the aid of the Gunnhildr. If it was Amos, they could have pointed out how tired and withdrawn she is. How that isn't who she is! If it was by any chance RHW, then he could have spun to be that RHW is his guy on the inside. Gaining Deca's trust for info
But no. It was Camen who was found.
No one else had his mind. His wit. His energy. His is the embodiment of inspiration to so many of them, and without a wick the candle that is the rebellion can not burn
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Like when you look at it, Carmen is kind of the load-bearing pillar of the rebels. Carmen's a bard, his talent is with his words at the end of the day, and the kid's a really good leader too. So him being separated first would be devastating because he has abilities that no one else does.
Sure, maybe Amos could try to speak as well as he could, but she's a hunter, not a leader (and let's not forget the suspicion that rebels most likely had about her). And RHW is a warrior, again, not a speaker in any regard. Maybe he's mature, but he's probably not the most persuasive person. Gunnhildr came from the outside, so rallying people inside the city would have been extremely difficult too. And Wispi is a wisp. He's trying his best but he's probably a symbol at most....
#i really like this au#it just? really shows how important nb/carmen probably actually was to the rebels#and the fact that he's a *kid*#he's sort of the weakest and strongest link in the rebellion effort at the same time#strongest because look at what he accomplished and what he's holding together when he's *just a teenager*#but also the weakest because everything could break apart if something happened to him and also he's *just a teenager*#idk where i'm going with that#hi steel!
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Not a coherent thesis here yet but I've been thinking lately about the dynamic of.... people who loved you unconditionally as a kid (or on the condition of being family, which is another weird dynamic) - but as you got older that became strained because you grew into someone they didn't expect and they realized that they did have conditions, actually.
I mean. There are people who had conditions all along, but just didn't mention them until you didn't meet them. And there's people who spent the whole time actively trying to mold you into someone who would meet their conditions.
But there's also people who truly didn't realize that you could grow up into someone that surprised them, that pushed their concepts of normal reasonable people. I think often because they themselves were constrained in their childhoods and mentally closed off whole worlds of options of ways people could be, without realizing it. So they thought kids just sort of naturally grew out of those sorts of quirks and eccentricities. Without realizing how much that dynamic was driven by active suppression, and how weird people could get if you just let them.
There's one such person in my life who has truly tried to grow and learn as this has come up, over and over again. And I really love and respect her for it, even if sometimes its a little exhausting to have to keep pushing at it. Keep explaining, and expanding, and not being hurt by her baseline of confusion that I'm still just.... not someone she knows how to expect. Even after all this time. But she does love me unconditionally. And for her that's the baseline, and she's willing to put in the work to expand her understanding of the world to know what it means to love me for who I am, even if it doesn't always come easily to her.
And then there's other people who run into this same tension and don't know what to do with it. They don't realize that loving you for who you are means putting in work to expand their concept of ways people can be. They don't try to overtly push you into not being like that but they keep holding out the expectation that you will, because how are they supposed to love you being like that? And of course as a kid, a teen, a young adult, you don't really have words for it either. You can feel the tension, the dissonance between the way they openly offer love to you that doesn't seem to fit, and the way they react to with confusion or distaste to parts of you that you can't change, or don't want to. Sometimes to things in yourself you can't even identify. So sometimes you make an effort to hide those things and act like they want. And sometimes you buckle down on being yourself. But neither approach really seems to fill the gap. You can't recieve affection and have it fit at the same time.
And eventually it just feels like you've sort of failed each other. By the time you have the words and self awareness to know what went wrong and where, it's too late to draw the chasm closed.
It's not too late to bridge it. But if we make this effort as adults, with the conditionality of adult relationships, you'll have to see me as I am and accept that - or be a stranger.
It's weird, to be like strangers with people who've known you your whole life.
#big long self indulgent rambling.#To reiterate this is not about people whose love for children is overtly conditional or involves bullying you into being a certain way#That's a whole other thing.#This is about people who think they're not doing that but actually don't know how not to.#And you end up not really knowing how to feel about it because you know they're trying. Or they think they're trying.#You know they don't mean badly and even that they want to love you#But that's not the same as actually. Loving you for who you actually are.#There's a lot of people in my family for whom I have a lot of affection but I experience it in a very detached way#Because their love for me has long felt detached because it encompasses a version of me that just isn't quite accurate.#And I feel like it's not entirely their fault that I haven't made that inaccuracy more clear to them.#I never went for a teenage-rebellion 'you dont even know who I am!!' type of phase which in retrospect feels like it might have helped#But it's just a pervasive sort of misconception that's hard to address directly enough to clear it up#Especially when times I've shown a little more of my hand more honestly have not..... gone down well.#This is about queerness and genderqueerness and neurodivergence and probably also other things#Oh and being unemployed with no life plans even though 'you had so much potential!'#it's about that too
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This Is How I Can Still Win: How The Penroses Are Related to House Targaryen
SO. In case you don’t remember - you probably don’t, it’s a throwaway line and likely just George retconning and not doing it on purpose - Jeor Mormont misremembers Aelinor Penrose as being Aerys I’s sister instead of her cousin. Here’s the quote, from Jon I in A Clash of Kings:
"No, this was Aerys the First. The one Robert deposed was the second of that name.” “How long ago was this?” “Eighty years or close enough,” the Old Bear said, “and no, I still hadn’t been born, though Aemon had forged half a dozen links of his maester’s chain by then. Aerys wed his own sister, as the Targaryens were wont to do, and reigned for ten or twelve years."
Potentially, this means that Aelinor has ~the Valyrian look~ and that’s why Jeor got them mixed up. But when you look at the information surrounding the Penroses that existed in this era, it looks a little wonky because of this line from The Mystery Knight:
"At the crossing of the Mandel, he cut down the sons of Lady Penrose one by one. They say he spared the life of the youngest one as a kindness to his mother."
So how can Elaena marry Ronnel, Lord of the Parchments, only have one son, yet Quentyn Ball slew all of “Lady Penrose’s” sons? How is Aelinor related to the Penroses and the Targaryens? What woman of Targaryen blood would marry into this random ass house in the middle of Stormlands? Why was it so important to retcon Aelinor from a sister into a cousin? Well - let’s have a think about what other houses have recent Valyrian blood…we have some female lines after all…perhaps even Targaryen women that married into politically active houses, who would love to marry back into the main branch again…I wonder who that could be…..Oh what’s that? Is that-
DRAGON TWINS TIME.
Allow me to spin two family trees for you, one where Rhaena’s daughter marries into the Penroses, and one where Baela’s daughter marries into the Penroses:
(pls applaud me for the amount of math i did for this very unserious post!) green is a romantic/marriage line, black is a parental relationship.
I am noting that this would mean Alyssa (I made her name up btw, mostly because I thought it would piss Daemon off to have a Hightower named after his beloved mother) gives birth at around 34, which is a perfectly reasonable age to have a child at, and Laena gives birth at like 40, which is definitely a lil risky! BUT there’s plenty of time for Laena to have other children, and for a second born son to have had a child at that same age, so if you think it’s a stretch for Laena to have a kid at 40 (perfectly fair) just pretend there’s a son there named “Roland” or something as Aelinor’s dad and Laena’s second born.
Now, FIRST OF ALL, this makes the cousin thing make sense, but also it makes it deeply funny - Aelinor is Aerys’ great aunt’s granddaughter. That’s a close enough relationship that you would consider them a cousin but it’s also the exact relationship Robert has to Rhaegar (because Rhaegar is Robert’s great uncle’s grandson). Both Aerys and Robert avoiding incest/kinslaying on a technicality lol.
But SECOND OF ALL. Do you know what makes me absolutely fucjing feral about this. Alyn Velaryon is messing around with a woman so much younger than him. That she marries his GRANDSON. because SHE IS THE SAME AGE AS HIS GRANDSON. i feel like george is weird enough to do the Baela scenario too.
And LASTLY OF ALL. Notice there’s plenty of time for Alyssa/Laena aka Lady Penrose after she’s married, to have several sons for Quentyn Ball to slay on the Redgrass Field, including Elaena’s husband, Ronnel himself, and for Elaena’s son, Robin Penrose, to inherit the seat afterwards. It also means, since it’s mentioned that Elaena married Michael Manwoody soon after her second husband died, that the two of them got a long time together. Why is this important? Because Michael Manwoody was her marriage for love and I want Elaena to have been with him for a long time.
This scenario gives her like 9 years with Ronnel (kinda sad, their kids don’t get to know their dad very long) and a minimum of 15 years with Michael Manwoody, who is apparently not the step dad but the dad that stepped up.
#me giving myself ronnel/elaena feelings for no goddamn reason making this akskkd. also used show casting but its book canon.#valyrianscrolls#elaena targaryen#aelinor penrose#michael manwoody#rhaena of pentos#baela targaryen#rhaena targaryen#aerys i targaryen#ronnel penrose#house penrose#getting on my soap box#rani attempts meta#i realize this is basically a secret targaryen theory. but the targaryens they're descended from are THE DRAGON TWINS so its fine#also don’t talk to me about the aerys fancast. yes it’s wwe superstar sami zayn. what about it.#i wanted to fancast someone with some sort of swana heritage that could pass for white. had a bitch of a time not repeating anyone from my#dornish graphic. gave up and threw in my man sami bc he’s a white passing syrian icon.#i'm otherwise very proud of these fancasts. if we ever get the blackfyre rebellion and elaena isn't played by kylie bunbury#i'm gonna be disappointed now lol. also if you are wondering yes the aelinor and ronnel in the rhaena graphic have one (1) black grandparen#alfred molina is probably too sexy to play aegon iv but mark addy is already robert so.#also the longwaters sigil is from the asoiaf rp wiki bc i didn't want to give them a velaryon one#bc fuck alyn that's why#echoes of sansa and arya
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hilarious how much my hawke goes on and on about how blood magic is evil and blood mages suck and there's never a good enough reason to use blood magic. My guy. What was all that shit you did back in Kirkwall then huh? What did you do when you ran out of magic? I guess every time you pulled the blood up from corpses to keep yourself alive was just nothing then huh. Every time your enemies' blood boiled in their veins was just the wind I guess.
#dai#gordon hawke#now I'm thinking about legacy dlc#in which carver was like 'our dad was... a bloodmage?!'#and I envisioned gordon turning to him just like 'carver. where do you think I learned how to do blood magic.'#in inquisition it's sort of like he forgot half the things he learned in Kirkwall idk#hes just as angry as I remember him but he seems a lot less... informed?#which kinda makes sense idk he used to be more understanding but he's spent the entire rebellion making sure anders and justic survive#my poor boy only told like two jokes the entire time that's how you know he's really depressed#just thinking about these continuity errors in inquisition they're everywhere#like how my hof talks in his letter to inky???#he's sooo formal#Cyrron would have put at least one swear in that letter. at least one.#the way he writes makes him sound like human nobility when he's just the worlds angriest city elf who grew up eating bugs and garbage#none of this is relevent to what I'm doing rn. but i cant stop thinking about hawke dammit#and hawke naturally makes me think of my tabris
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[Puella Magi Madoka Magica] - Love, love, love (I watched you behind bars) - [3/3] - I do adore thee
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Summary: Swallow your guilt, swallow your pain. There's always a price to pay for love.
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To love was to let go.
Homura loved, loved, loved. She tore her from the sky and then wrapped them all in silk chains. A shattered girl with the power to change the world was not fit to be loved, but she could love in turn.
Loving meant giving. A golden cage, endless paths, endless lifetimes of smooth sailing and all the luck in the world.
Loving meant stepping back before the world shattered like her too.
She loved her especially. Dearly, violently, madly, gently. She loved her with all she had, a weak, gasping, stuttering heart patched and sewn together with raw magic. She loved her, even from far far away, watching as she slept with another loved one—joy from another in the creases at the corners of her eyes.
Homura loved Madoka, old and grey over and over again, but she did not let go.
(For Homura, to love was to stay and never let go)
#my writing#puella magi madoka magica#pmmm#angst#akemi homura#homura akemi#character study#fanfiction#drabble#madohomu#post rebellion#ngl i think this probably could be sort of an AU?#like a really messed up reincarnation AU that's only a reincarnation AU because the girls aren't human anymore and they're not ascending#due to sheer willpower from our beloved akuma homura#who's pining in the background like the most wet and pathetic 2nd male lead in a romance novel/manga/manhwa/yeah you get the gist
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