#reason: i had no idea what the actual fuck to make kirby

[darth-sonny]

big news fellas

[ashboy-3]

Smash or Pass

Fandom: Danny Phantom and Batfam Prompt: https://www.tumblr.com/help-i-need-a-cool-username/719653067055906816/ashboy-3-please-tag-me-whenever-you-post-it?source=share Characters: Danny, Sam, Tucker, Jason, Batfam Words: 1908 Summary: Danny refuses to sleep and gets stopped by a reporter. Not fully knowng what she aks when questioning him about Red Hood Danny answers with a simple Smash. Now if only his crush Jason Todd would pick up on the social cues.

“So what’s the game tonight?” Danny asked, looking at the screen of the video camera to see Tucker and Sam staring back at him.

“Are you sure Danny. Isn’t it like ten over there?” Sam asked, worry clearly on her face.

“It’s not a good night for sleep Sam. Please. You two both have the day off, right?” Danny asked.

“Yeah we do dude. So I was thinking Smash or pass?” Tucker threw the idea out there.

“Oh that’s a good one. What should we do it on?” Danny asked.

“Super smash bros? It has Smash in the name?” Tucker suggested.

“Then we should totally do Pokémon!” Sam had an evil smirk.

“Oh you are both so on!” Danny quickly agreed as Tucker quickly found a full list online of the Super Smash bro fighters, sharing his screen and making sure to record, if anything for future black mail reasons.

“Alright first up Mario,” Tucker announced, both his friends knowing that he would rather be the impartial party and narrator while they have their fun.

“Pass.” Danny and Sam voiced.

“Donkey Kong.”

“Pass,” Danny quickly said.

“Smash!” Sam was quick to say as the two looked at each other.

“You want to smash a giant monkey?” Danny questioned.

“First off he’s a gorilla, second you can’t tell me that he doesn’t fuck,” she quirked her eyebrow at him.

“Fair enough,” Danny yielded holding up his drink to take a sip in her honor.

“Dude that’s water,” Tucker rolled his eyes.

“Don’t’ remind me. Who’s next!”

“Link.”

“Smash” Tucker rolled his eyes at his two friends.

“Sometimes you two are so predictable. Samus.”

“Pass,” Sam waved her off.

“Smash. Let her fuck me up, in or out of that suit!”

“Dark Samus?”

“Same,” they both agreed, to keep their answers from last time.

“Yoshi.”

“Smash!” Sam yelled out, Danny thinking about it before he to agreed.

“Why am I friends with you two? Kirby?”

“Pass,” Sam said as Danny thought abot it. “Yeah pass. I feel like Kirby is to innocent. And dude who else would you be friends with. Hit me with the next one!”

“Fox and Falco.”

“Pass on Fox smash on Falco,” Sam decided. “Pass on both,” Danny shook his head.

“How could you smash one but not the other? Their the same thing?” Danny asked.

“First off their not. I feel like Falco is more bad ass. Second, I don’t want to hear that argument when we get to pokemon.”

“Fair enough.” Danny agreed.

“Speaking of Pokemon I’m skipping them in this list since that’s our next list,” Tucker skipped the image of pikachu. They both passed on Luigi, Ness, Captain Falcon, and jigglypuff.

“I would so smash princess peach, daisy, and Rosalina. Line them up!” Danny cheered.

“Really Peach? I would only smash Rosalina. She at least had a story line,” Sam rolled her eyes.

“Bowser?”

“Smash the fucking hell out of me!” Danny cheered.

“Okay I know I’m a monster fucker, but are you sure you’re not one?” Sam asked him.

“I have never actually thought about it,” Danny shrugged. “But you still didn’t answer the question?”

“Of course, I’d smash Bowser. Pass on Wario, Waluigi, and Dr. Mario,” Sam rolled her eyes, a smile on her lips.

“Yeah, I can agree with that statement,” Danny shook his head in understanding. “We are passing on the ice climbers?” Danny asked.

“Of course!” Danny agreed. “and you know I’m smashing Sheik and Zelda!”

“Smash Sheik pass on Zelda.”

“You are aware that their the same person right?” Tucker asked her.

“I’m very aware. Sheik could kill me and Zelda is a broing princess. I know what I want in a partner.”

“point taken,” Tucker stopped his fight as he ended up pushing next multip times. Danny and Sam both agreed to pass on the fire emblem charctrers along with young link while Smashing Ganon.

“Mr. Game and Watch.”

“Pass,” Sam said quickly.

“I’d smash. I feel like he could give me a fun time. You saw how he handles that hammer. If I’m lucky he’d use it to pound me,” Danny smiled, making both of his friends laugh.

“You know Danny I agree with that statement and that’s why I’d smash meta knight.”

“To much armor for me,” Danny said, making Tucker snort.

They passed on the Pit’s, kept their same opinion on Samus and landed on Snake.

“Extra Smash!” Danny and Sam agreed.

They kept playing, ending pretty quickly with mostly passes. Danny wanting to smash Bayonets,, Ridley, and King Roll. Sam was agreeing with that list adding Isabella, claiming that she must have some evil dark side to her. This led the group to the pokemon list.

“Do we want to start with Gen 1? Or just go into chaos?” Tucker asked, knowing his friends answers as he got up the list for Gen 9.

“I’m being honest if it’s got three evolutions, I’m most likely not going to smash the first evolution. The second and third are still up for grabs,” Danny set down his rules.

“I can agree with that. So we passing on Sprigatto, Quaxly, and Fuecoco,” Tucker mumbled to himself, making sure to skip thoses options.

“I’m Smashing Floragato, Meowscarda and crocalor from the starters,” Danny stated.

“Chicken,” Sam snorted. “I’ll take your grass started and your fire second evolution and raise you a Quaxwell.”

“I feel like it’s only going to drown into madness from here,” Tucker groaned, knowing it’s not even midnight where Danny is yet and there are nine generations of pokemon.

“How can you not Smash Spidops!” Danny asked frantically.

“Are you kidding? All it does is shot webs. If I wanted to fuck something that shots webs I would fuck spiderman,” Sam rolled her eyes.

“You. . .bring out an excellent point, but I’m not changing my answer!”

“Smashing Arbolliva!” Sam slammed her hand on the desk.

‘Damn girl! I am right here! If you don’t want me then just say it,” Tucker teased her as Danny laughed.

“Smash. Samsh. Smash Ceruledge,” Danny was cheering, Sam cheering with him.

“You know it makes sense that the two of you dated in. highschool, but I can clearly tell why you two were never going to work,” Tucker observed.

“And why is that?” Danny asked, quirking his eyebrow.

“You have to similar of taste.”

“No way in hell you’re actually fucking Grafaiai. Sam do you just have a thing for monkeys or something? “Danny asked.

“I’m not the one who’s ready to throw a party for Toedscruel. I thought we agreed no judging?” She glared.

“Oh know we are judging. I think I’m the one who’s judging the worst,” Tucker laughed.

“That doesn’t count. You only have eyes for Sam. I can’t even recombed a person looks hot and fuckable to you without you saying Sam’s better,” Danny groaned.

“Yep and it’s nice to see that my girlfriend does not have the same standards for me,” Tucker was looking towards her, a playful smile on his lips. He knows she loves him and that he’s not being serious.

“Ah shit guys! I gotta go and get ready for class!” Danny said after hours of playing the smash or pass game. They did eventually make it through all of the Pokémon, but now it was 7 am and Danny had to run to get to campus and stop at his favorite coffee shop.

“Make sure you stay awake dude. If you need to skip class I can write you a doctor’s note,” Tucker said.

“I’ll be fine. I just really don’t want to sleep right now. I should be better by tonight,” Danny said bye to his friends, changing into a different shirt, making sure to grab his jacket, wallet, and keys before leaving his small apartment.

Danny loved living in Gotham, but sometimes the hustle and bustle of the city can be chaotic and stressful, especially on the days when Danny could possibly be late for class, sleep deprived, yet to have his coffee and some report is stopping him to ask him question.

“Opinion of Red Hood?” was the only thing Danny heard the reported ask.

“Smash,” was all Danny could think of as he quickly walked into the coffee shop to get his black coffee with 12 extra expresso shots. Did is taste good? No. Did it wake him up? Absolutely.

Danny didn’t realize the absolute chaos he had caused till he was back home from his classes, Sam and Tucker spamming him with memes of what he did.

Seeing no other option but to go along with it. He found the original clip that tucker sent him a link to, tunrs out the news station put it up on twitter, and re retweeted it with just two words. “I’m right.”

Meanwhile on the other side of Gotham Dick is dying of laughter as he discovered the most hilarious news clip on the planet and proceeded to send it to every single person in his contacts and to every group chat that he’s in, just in case he didn’t have someone’s contact number saved.

He even found the clip being retweeted by the same guy who claims that he’s still right with someone else tagging it #plsdon’tkillhimmr.redhoodsir.

He was making fun of Jason for it especially because turns out his brother knows the guy in real life.

“Grayson what does he even mean when he says smash?” Damain asked as Tim and Dick were making fun of Jason at the cave.

“I have to agree with Damain. The video makes know sense,” Bruce agreed.

“I’m not explaning this,” Tim quickly grabbed his coffee and walked out of the batcave.

“No it!” Jason declared running upstairs, face fully red, Dick not far behind him.

“Why is it always me,” Duke groaned as Bruce wayne lifted a questioning eye brow up at him.

“Please don’t make me explain it,” Duke begged, but sadly when Bruce Wayne wants to know something he will know something.

“Keep making fun of me for this and I will no longer show up to family dinner,” Jason glared at his older brother.

“Aww. You know you can’t avoid Alfred forever,” Dick teased.

“Shit you’re right,” Jason groaned, knowing he was going to have to put up with his brother’s teasing no matter what.

Before anyone knew it Wednesday was upon them, which meant that Danny and Jason finished their only shared class and walked out together to get lunch.

“So did you see your famous news clip?” Jason asked, not able to look Danny in the eye.

“Yeah. I swear this I say the craziest shit when I’m sleep deprived. I stand by what I said though,” Danny got up from the table to grab his order.

“You’re not worried about Red Hood finding out or anything?” Jason asked, seeing a chaotic look within Danny’s eyes.

“Jason, I want nothing more than for Red Hood to come and find me. Hopefully then I’ll get my wish,” Danny smirked up at him, hoping his friend would catch on to the signs.

“Well one can always hope,” Jason gave an awkward laugh as Danny sighed.

Jason may be a bat, but Danny has a feeling that he’s as hopeless as he is when it comes to picking up on romantic cues. At this rate, it’s going to take a miracle to get Jason to realize that yes Danny has feelings for him.

@help-i-need-a-cool-username @spookytragedyshark @weirdfishy @meira-3919 @akikkobara @yjfk@shorterthanadverage@mistyaltair @seraphinedemort@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit@thatonegaybitch68@fuck-you-too-world@stargirl1331@blackrabbitt3t@staresatyoufromaccrosstheroom@f-theworld

I think that was everyone that wanted to be tagged. I personally feel like this could you a second chapter. If I ever do decide to do that then I would definitely add more Jason moments than just having him in here at the last moment.

[tartsinarat]

He’s just a lil creature

Unlike Belos’s cursed form, Pip actually has two versions. The one drawn here is when he has enough magic stored inside, is a Frankenstein-ed up mess between a basilisk and whatever Belos’s curse in canon is meant to be but because curses in general aren’t explained in explicit detail (especially belos’s one) I thought it would be neat to attempt to give it a cool headcanon

so my idea of what creature these two got stuffed with is something that’s nicknamed a “false Titan” which are a long extinct species of demon? (They might be a sub category of titan though I’m not too sure yet :/) that evolved to mimic titans in order to better hunt their children as well as hunt smaller species of titan that don’t grow to be giants, these guys ended up getting killed off in the war between archivists and titans because the archivists couldn’t tell the difference between the two species but one archivist eventually did and captured one of them for safe keeping/ preserving.

Evelyn was a seller of all kinds of dangerous magical artefacts and human items, she mostly used her business as fun hobby as well to help Caleb with starting their carving business that they wanted to do together because Evelyn running around exploring dangerous ruins wasn’t a good idea because they obviously were planning on starting a family together. Uh that kind of failed spectacularly ngl when the whole fight between Caleb and Philip started so Evelyn in revenge literally grabbed every curse she had in storage and just murked Philip with them after seeing Caleb dead, one of the curses just so happened to be the “false titan” which Philip wasn’t able to remove.

So The reason why Belos snacks on palisman is because they’re grown from using titan magic as well as they have healing properties so like how Eda eats voles, Belos is addicted to eating titan magic because of the curse, also by having the glyphs carved into his arms he fucked himself over even more because the glyphs need to have magic/ energy to function but that then causes the curse to get more agitated and causes the slime/rotting

Obviously Pip ended up getting cursed too because it got passed onto him but due to him being a weird amalgamation of grimwalker parts and basilisk, Pip isnt really interested in eating titan magic and can eat most magic just fine, so King or palisman aren’t in danger around him… but he is carnivorous and has to actually eat the creature to drain the magic rather than just inhaling it Kirby style like how basilisks do

A fun fact about that is that Luz just assumed that Pip just casually eating raw meat was just a witch thing until she learned more about witch diets/ foods and was somewhat horrified and intrigued by what the fuck is up with Pip even more. It’s even funnier when they all eventually go the human realm and Pip is just like this with a piece of raw meat or something

and Luz got so desensitised to Pip and his horrifying habits that she completely forgot to give a heads up to Camila, who at that time just assumed that Pip was just a normal human that was brought into the boiling isles or something and so she was completely taken off guard that out of the gang Pip is the least human/ knowledgeable in acting as a human, she’s mostly fine with it afterwards and only sets a few rules like making sure to not leave blood everywhere but she does almost have a heart attack seeing Pip’s cursed form just napping on the sofa like a weird giant cat

a wild GH masterpost link has appeared!

[cookieblobber]

The Possible New Future of the Sonic Franchise - Thanks to fucking Sonadow

WOW! SO…THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED 💀

A few days ago it was rumored a Sonic Generations remaster was happening and will be revealed in the State of Play, which then revealed Shadow will be playable. It was really unknown what the hell this meant, but many theorized this was going to be a Bowser’s Fury/Kirby Return case: Game from an old console is remastered/ported with a whole brand new campaign that may or may not be related and possibly intertwined with said game’s story or lore.

They were correct.

Oh yea did I forget to mention BLACK FUCKING DOOM IS BACK?????

There isn’t much yet to go off of right now in terms of what’s being planned here besides this excerpt on steam

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Alright, enough showcasing, what the hell am I talking about by this game (that was just revealed) being a new future for the Sonic franchise? Well, it’s mainly due to these two things: the usage of Black Doom, and this fucking logo

A little bit of a history lesson -

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005)

….wasn’t really a well received game. Besides how many viewed it to be trying too hard to be edgy and dark and gritty, its gameplay was a lot left to be desired. Confusing and lore retconning writing, weird awkward gameplay, you probably already know by now, it was arguably where SEGA/Sonic Team got scared of doing spin-offs with other characters. The concepts and ideas were there, there were still reasons to like the game and like how Shadow improves as a character in the canonical story of the game, it was a small shiny stone in a pile of coal. Besides 06, this was the most development or focus Shadow would ever receive as a character before his massive change in writing in 2010.

Due to the 2010s change in writing style and how characters were written thanks to SEGA to avoid any association from “erm Sonic tried to be serious at one point? Cringe!”, Shadow possibly became the most controversial character of the cast, with him going from a really intriguing 3 dimensional character about trauma, loss, and trying to move on from the past, to many feeling like he’s regressed into a Furry Vegeta or a tryhard loner who doesn’t need friends to help him, the IDW comics being a big example of this. He still had a few good moments like his whole prologue in Sonic Forces, but even then it wasn’t anything intriguing like his story in Sonic 06 where he learns to accept his future might turn out shit, but he’ll always fight back with his team if things get dark (see what I did there?).

Before I continue, I would like to say - blaming Ian Flynn for how Shadow’s written in the IDW comics where he’s more brute and moody…..doesn’t seem correct, imma be real. I know he may have the occasional odd idea of the characters, but it’s very clear the way he’s written is due to certain mandates from SEGA and how characters/the world should be like. If Shadow’s whole moody brute demeanor is truly how Flynn views the character…..how does that explain how he was written in the Archie comics? aka the older comic series Flynn wrote for before SEGA started to get strict with the franchise, aka the series many believe to have had really great Shadow moments? I’m not saying there can’t be criticism for how Flynn may sometimes write characters, but in the case of him being the sole reason for how Shadow is written, that assumption made on him is a lil unfair.

Regardless, in recent times, it’s no doubt that the franchise is starting to rebuild it’s confidence again: acknowledging the old 3D games, including 06, having a more serious story with layers and depth like in Frontiers, Frontiers itself reintroducing Sonic’s friends and their struggles, making them playable once again in a 3D game (again, Shadow was cool to see in Forces but, you could only go so far with a simple reskin of Sonic). Not to mention after the update that brought back these characters, we got Sonic Superstars where the main selling point was that it was a co-op game, and Sonic Dream Team having a focus on the franchise’s more forgotten character: Cream the Rabbit (not to mention bringing back a sorta SA2-style gameplay where 6 characters were grouped into 3 styles of controls). Oh yea also prior to all that, Amy was made playable in the original Sonic genesis games via Sonic Origins.

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So, what does all that have to do with the future of the franchise, and why is Shadow 05 important here?

First off: Shadow is getting that same treatment as other friends, but possibly on an even bigger level: being a new playable character in an older title and being a big enough deal to get his own story and reintroduce people to what makes him who he is sadly no co-op gameplay but hey that would require completely changing this game from what it was initially was. This is really perfect timing as with the upcoming release of Sonic Movie 3 and Shadow being the next foe for Sonic to face off, Sonic x Shadow Generations will be a perfect title for new fans to dive into and learn more about Sonic’s history and dive further into Shadow’s history, just like what Sonic Origins was for fans who just came back from watching Sonic Movie 2.

This whole thing is also a massive implication that other characters than Sonic may start to get their own campaigns again, building more lead-ups to possibly full on spinoff games. I should say this again: Forces did try to do something with Shadow, but for the most part it was just reusing whatever the game already had to create a quick and easy 3 level prologue that…doesn’t really add all that much to the overall story (at this rate you can probably assume Forces tried to do a lot of things Sonic is now attempting to do, however due to the kinda era it came from, it didn’t have much going for it). Sonadow Generations seems like something bigger and more personal to the character involved, something that could possibly rival the OG game’s campaign.

The fact in this story, they’re going so far as to make Black Doom the main antagonist of this campaign and giving back Shadow’s tribal logo is a massive sign that this is a true attempt to revisit Shadow’s entire legacy. They could’ve easily just made his whole ordeal involve what happened in Sonic Adventure 2, after all that’s what he’s most remembered for, but going as far as to properly acknowledged a lesser known game as being part of the Sonic lore instead of dismissing it simply because it wasn’t well received, it continues to show the confidence this series has started to regain. Sure, it’s weird, it’s wacky, it’s wild, but it doesn’t make it any less something to acknowledge or at the very least make good out of something bad. While we did get hints of Shadow 05 still being part of the canon via the Eggman logs in Frontiers mentioning Black Doom, having him come back officially was still a completely wild thing to see; never in a million years would anyone have thought he would come back as the main villain.

The biggest part of this whole thing is: if SEGA is allowing for Shadow 05 to be fully acknowledged

.

this might mean they’re starting to pull back on their restrictions on the character.

——————————————

As I stated before, it is very clear they wanted nothing to do with this game or anything similar to it ever again, I mean the fact we never got any spin-offs after this really shows they weren’t gonna come back to other characters ever again. But now…everything’s on the table. If Black Doom is making an appearance, if Shadow’s tribal logo is back as part of his identity, what else could there be next? Will Shadow start to use guns again? Will he ride his motorcycle, and other vehicles like in 06? Hell, will motherfucking Mephiles come back again for this campaign?

Not to mention the description of the game stated that Shadow will confront painful memories, will we see Maria in HD getting shot, or the commander from Shadow 05 who was out to get him making a reappearance? This might be the first time in a whole decade since other human characters (not counting Sage since she isn’t exactly fully human) making an appearance again in the Sonic franchise. Again, we may have gotten hints of them still being a thing with the likes of Frontiers’ Eggman logs bringing up GUN and Maria, but actually showing up in-game means other humans can still make appearances in-game.

(Take this part with a massive grain of salt but I’ve heard that Ian Flynn in the past has expressed he wanted to bring back Black Doom and Mephiles, but SEGA didn’t allow it, now that one of them happened, it proves that there indeed has been less restrictions now)

If there are less restrictions being made on stuff like acknowledging Shadow’s game, what could this mean for how Shadow himself may be written now? We’ve seen how apparently well written Shadow was in Sonic Prime, could this carry over to the games and comics where he has a less frustrating depiction? I mean, the fact Ian Flynn was hired for one massive mainline game (Sonic Frontiers) and suddenly they’re doing all these lore related things for the franchise or going back to pull up any old stuff and see what they can do with it, it shows there is a level of trust between SEGA and Flynn and letting the man cook. And it makes complete sense too, he’s been a long time writer for the franchise since the Archie comics, he seems to have a great understanding of the characters.

If Shadow 05 is getting this level of acknowledgement, what about other more forgotten games? Will we one day see Sonic 06 be better acknowledged, or more likely a character like Silver having a bigger role in something related to the events of 06? I mean for some reason recent episode titles of the upcoming Knuckles show revealed one episode called “Flames of Disaster,” who’s to say they aren’t already looking into 06 for some ideas for not just the movie canon, but as well as the main canon?

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I’m drifting off a little but I’m sure you get by now what I’m tryna say. This game, as it may seem like just a simple small remaster with extra content, may end up creating something bigger for the franchise going forward. Seeing how Sonic Team is behind this remaster and not Blind Squirrel (the people who made Sonic Colors Ultimate; while possibly rushed by SEGA, they’ve also have had a questionable track record with remasters), and hints that Flynn is behind this story, I think we are in great hands with this game. This may be the first remaster to finally be flawless in every level, which I know is a little sad to say when it comes to this 30+ year old franchise, but hey, can’t win them all!

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Before I end this comically large essay, I would like to make one final note on this whole topic. As I was writing this and taking breaks last night, I came across a tweet that was kinda starting to go around about this game.

To summarize, the tweet essentially claimed that Sonic was still stuck in the past. The franchise was still relying on nostalgia pandering as its identity, and due to the contents of Generations being a whole celebration of Sonic’s history (and what unfortunately started SEGA’s cling onto Green Hill and Chemical Plant), aka alleged nostalgia pandering, it proves the franchise’s identity is still about how when Sonic used to be cool. It hasn’t attempted to evolve in the past 14 years.

You can probably guess what my thoughts on that take is after reading this whole post.

.

.

.

.

.

No.

I don’t think so.

As I already showed, the addition of Shadow’s story more than proves this is still stepping forward. It’s taking an old beloved game and instead of just updating graphics or performance and leaving it at that, they’re making something brand new out of it that may define future ideas for other characters that isn’t about Sonic. Not to mention this game barely attempts to be all like, “Revisit all these iconic locations from your childhood!!!” SEGA is clearly looking at Generations not as that one game they can rely on for easy nostalgia pandering, but as a successful and fun game from the last decade in its own right. I mean to the general public, it’s considered to be “one of the few good Sonic games.”

It can be argued that the addition of Shadow and Black Doom may be pandering to the audience into Shadow but…really? They’re tryna solely pander and play on the nostalgia of a small minority of players who liked a game that was considered to be the start of Sonic’s downfall in the 2000s and make that the selling point of this remaster to the general public? Where some in said general public may argue that they’re about to ruin a rare good Sonic game with stuff that they think no one ever liked??? I don’t really believe it.

Hell, speaking personally, I’ve never played Shadow 05, I don’t own a GameCube, maybe a PS2 but even then I didn’t get much games at the time. While I sorta played around with the franchises growing up, I fully got into it around when Sonic Mania came out (and even then it took me a while to finally play it). So even though I may be hyping up Black Doom’s return, I myself am not coming from any rose tinted glasses or anything, these are just observations from the many discussions I’ve seen online or videos showcasing these games. Same would go for a lot of people into that game as many while loved it, still would acknowledge where it fumbles and how it’s definitely not the definitive Sonic experience to have.

Sonic has begun to evolve, experimenting with new ideas and offering new and different ways to enjoy the franchise. As mentioned earlier, lots of shit happened in the past 4 months. While I agree that something like Frontiers relying on the same old levels for Cyberspace to be stupid, that shouldn’t undermine the actual new stuff it offers for the franchise. I feel like we’re already far beyond the franchise needing to be like “hey remember Green Hill???” as it’s main identity for a game/the franchise. And even then, this shouldn’t mean Sonic can’t look back on previous entries anymore ever again.

Many want Sonic to be like other franchises, like Mario, Kirby, etc, they’ve been also occasionally doing the look back on an old title or old past, so why not let Sonic do the same? We shouldn’t immediately respond to a callback with claims that it’s poor nostalgia pandering, as the take away imo always should’ve been that there should be a balance between original and new and looking back on what worked.

I am happy to say that regardless what this remaster is, we are in good hands again.

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also unrelated as hell but pray for this man, he has not uploaded a Sonic video in 4 months, I think SEGA killed him by over feeding him with content 😭

[emerxshiu]

FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3

I AM SOOOO BACK

I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.

I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.

ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?

you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver

Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade

some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see

silly :3

fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it

thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)

also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day

Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk

ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned

background cuz i think it came out really pretty

doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...

also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing

I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything

Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol

I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual

Jambuhbye!

[poppetsisters]

Now that my rage over the Doomcasting has simmered down, I just wanna gush over the Fantastic Four comi con stuff.

I'm not joking, when I heard that Michael Giacchino was doing the score, I SCREAMED. Not only is he famous for scoring The Incredibles, but he also did Speed Racer from 2008 which, if you haven't heard that score, it is one of the best scores for any film I've seen.

The period accurate footage is such a treat. I figured Matt Shakman's work on Wandavision was going to be indicative of what the Fantastic Four was gonna look like and yet it looks even better. I was nervous that Shakman's lack of feature film experience was gonna be a detriment, but his decades of work on TV gives him amazing instincts for character dynamics, which is one of the most important assets when making a Fantastic Four movie.

A lot of what we saw is pre-vis and may not actually be in the movie, but the retro-future vibe of the movie is perfect. The fact that MCU Fantastic Four is taking place in its own separate pocket away from all the bullshit really helps me feel excited for this movie. For once, the disconnectedness is something I'm EXCITED about, go figure.

Again, because it's pre-vis, not a whole lot of glimpses at The Thing's rocky form, in fact none of the powers were shown off for understandable reasons. I have no worries that The Thing is going to look good. As bad as Fant4stic was, The Thing looked pretty good in that film. Korg also never looked outright bad to me either, and they're probably gonna put more effort into how he looks anyway. Sue's powers are probably gonna be represented well seeing as invisibility is a really easy power to do VFX for. Fire graphics have come a long way as well, and that concept art makes me thing they may take a very stylised approach to his flame effects. Reed however is the one I'm really worried about. The only time stretch powers looked good was The Incredibles 1 and 2, but those were both stylised 3D animated filma. Live action has a much higher bar to clear with a heavy risk of uncanny valley Pedro Pascal. If you can make that man look bad, then you know you fucked up.

The Fantasticar is nice. We had the Dodge in Rise of Silver Surfer and the Bathtub in Deadpool and Wolverine, and though I like the Silver Surfer one (despite the shameless product placement) I get that they wanted a car that looked like a mid-century man's idea of what a flying car looks like. The only think is that I wish it could split apart into four sections, it doesn't look like it can do that. Oh well.

The spacesuits look good, the colours are exactly what I imagined they'd be on the concept art, but I'm waiting for the proper super suits to be shown off. Hopefully they have less interlocking parts and resemble the slightly thick and comfy spandex we saw in the concept art.

It looks like Pedro is keeping the moustache, which normally I'm not a fan of Reed with facial hair, but I also think it gives Reed a sorta Howard Hughes look that helps him blend in with the aesthetics of the world. The grey around the temples is good though, and it seems like he's also doing a transatlantic accent which frankly is very surprising.

I thought that Ebon wasn't doing an accent until I rewatched him during an interview. He appears to be toning down his natural tendency to draw out his A's and E's. It was only two lines of dialogue so I don't know, but what is very apparent is that he's not going for the outrageous brooklyn accent The Thing is legendary for in the comics, but something a little more subtle and believable.

Vanessa Kirby and Joseph Quinn are both different flavors of British, and though Joseph only says one word, it's pretty clear both are foregoing their natural accents. That said, Vanessa's choice of, what I can only guess is a slight mid-western accent, is very interesting. I was not expecting that choice.

They added a subtitle to the movie. Fantastic 4: First Steps. I think they didn't need to add a subtitle, but since they did. I'll just give it a cursory analysis. I think you can derive FOUR meanings from the title: First Steps calls to mind humanity's first steps on the Moon, fitting for a space age tale. First Steps also feels like a good title for their first adventure. First Steps works metatextually as their first steps into the MCU (which isn't technically true with those two cameos in MoM and D&W), but the most important theory I have for First Steps is in relation to a baby's first steps. I think that Franklin is going to be in this movie as a major plot point. Serving what purpose, I'm not sure.

To finish things off, we only get a look at Galactus through a window, so not much I can comment on in terms of appearance, but I'm very happy that it's an actual dude and not shadows within a cosmic cloud. He looks very imposing and I hope we get more perspective shots like that to sell how big this guy is.

[griffs-return-to-dreamland]

THIS RANT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR KIRBY STAR ALLIES AND KIRBY AND THE FORGOTTEN LAND UNDER CUT!! KEEP READING IF YOU WISH!!

(yes ik they're both fairly old games, just wanna make sure!!)

as much as i love the idea of morpho knight being this merciless omnipotent angel if death

what if he's actually very kind to those he guides to the afterlife and is only angry and violent because of the unfortunate deaths that other beings cause

since he's the butterfly of judgement he should be the one to decide when someone's time is

which could be why he fights you in star allues: it was galacta's time, but it had to be him who took him, not you, and you were damn ready to

same with fecto forgo (if thats that side mode fecto is called? i dont remember), it was its time and you were NOT the one supposed to kill it, morpho was, and because you were going to try, he was angry

thats all i was thinking but for all i know his whole reason could be that he just wants to whoop ass ir that he was fucking pissed that at that point forgo and galacta had both escaped death several times before that and he just took it out on kirb and the gang

[scorchrend]

if u would like to share ur marx thoughts…… and make us all feel physically ill alongside u…….. this random anon is very much interested in hearing 👀👀👀

thats the problem istart feeling physically ill because i cant verbalize what i'm thinking it;s that bad. but since you asked this might be the push i need. UHHHHH marx thoughts. what are my marx thoughts it's like rummaging through my junk clearbook where everything is just placed anywhere and everything gets lost i do answer better and more coherently with specific questions.. btw.... hehe. Love Questions okay. random thoughts go

marx is a really attention seeking guy. thrives out of getting a rise from other people. pre super star though, i don't think he has any real friends despite being a common sight due to his tricksterisms and funny things. i don't think he's done this in canon really, but personally i like to make it so that marx used to work under dedede. you know. big castle, you think it has cool stuff, should give pretty good benefits to staff right? but then kirby's dream land happens and hes like Bro this Sucks and skedaddles. so yeah no meaningful relationships

i like the idea that marx is friendly with kirby pre kirby super star, but i don't think it's a relationship that can really be described as "friends" more than "staying on good terms and excitedly saying hi whenever you see each other, have a little small talk, and go separate ways." i mean, to kirby, they're friends. i don't think marx knows this when he asks kirby for help in milky way wishes, he's relying on kirby's helpful nature the trust is just kind of a bonus. as for why marx soul is like that i dont fucking know man these are random ass thoughts

thing is i think marx genuinely thinks kirby's a cool stand up dude especially after kirby's dream land but i think he just got Sooo Fucking Pissed thats why mww happens or whatever but i'm not sure either since i'm just spitting words. whatever his reasons are they always change in my head, marx is an enigma to me Even as a local marx enjoyer

as for his relationship with magolor it's the average They meet after Marx Blows Up and magolor is in the area and like Damn well i'm not gonna leave that guy out there am i. then bla bla friends (menaces) and puts the idea of nabbing that crown from landia. less of an intentional thing you know, but even if marx blew up he still kinda had something to show for it you knoe. the wings and the nova power. i can't say why they'd part ways (i don't know either) but basically before that they enjoyed some weird shit like pranking randos maybe Way Too Hard

anyways, after they part ways, marx probably goes planet hopping for a bit but eventually settles back on popstar. guys got the wanderer bones in him but i really think he thinks life on popstar is swell. he wanted to rule it for a reason i guess?? also the nearby planets he can fly to are Pretty Empty. I think.i actually genuinely don;t inow what im saying though im making a lot of this on the spot

reason for thinking marx has been hiding out on planet popstar: he's readily available in kirby star allies from the first dream palace. i know the dream rod summons them but like for my purposes i think it's just kinda like YOU. COME HERE.

okay but you know who else is in wave 1 that's right rick kine coo and gooey. i think they become friends. i think they're marx's first real friends (if you count them becoming friends while marx is disguised? they keep it up even after they find out. trying to be the kirby they want to see in the world or something.) like i got a little idea where its kinda like Damn i kinda wanna Fuck Up Everything but then he experiences laughing With people and not just Laughing at or Being laughed at and is like Fuuuckkk this is kindasick actually. UGH plans POSTPONED!! he is still 100% a shithead though these improvements dont really happen until marx drops his disguise after he meets magolor again (between rtdl and dream collection)

as for marx and magolor's reconciliation i feel like it's really smooth at first while magolor recovers from an arduous warp or whatever but when magolor starts showing discomfort at the ... hobbies marx has there starts to be tension because marx starts feeling like magolor is ignoring him and doesn't want to associate (even if magolor does want to keep being friends). however they deal with that is still up in the air but it required a lot of arguing, magolor apology to the dream team, marx blowing his "presumed dead" cover just to cover for magolor on something, etc. stuff that shows both parties really value their friendship even after they've changed and paths diverged quite a bit. fyi their arguments are so fucking bombastic because they WERE so SIMILAR that any insults they toss at the other is a double edged sword, and evidences some kind of self loathing

for marx's relationship with kirby i honestly think they're chill. but ofc marx exasperates kirby at times.

also marx has to get hisinfo from somewhere so i think he does in fact read stuff. only stuff interesting to him but he does read and when he does he Reads reads. thats how the Loser hatched his plan regarding nova anyways. somehow taranza finds outabout this and hes like Oh my god someone who understands media. Marx vehemently denies this (but cannot resist screaming at other people who have shit takeaways from x book he likes) (Marx has opinions on notoriously polarizing character Eon based on historical figure Aeon Hero) (not anything i consider important just something funny)

i could go on forever but for now i think my brain is all worded out. not even sure if any of this makes sense. here you go anon. enjoy.

[absentmotive]

surprise surprise i went and saw scream vi last night. i have my thoughts and...i enjoyed it. i enjoyed the gore of it all ( they said it would be gorier than the others and they kept to that ) my only gripe...can be found under the read more.

**SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT**

                    like i said, i enjoyed the movie! it was great, kept me on my toes as far as jump-scares go. however...the reveal of the killers was...it was lackluster. it was too on the nose, too much like scream 2 with mrs. loomis being the killer aka family member seeking revenge for main character ( sidney for scream 2 and sam for scream 6 ) killing a family member that happened to be the previous movies killer; billy / richie. the other thing was the obviousness with it being three brand new characters; ethan, quinn, and det. bailey. and just like mindy...i called it within 20 mins of the movie.

now i understand that of course there were going to be new characters and that’s fine! i loved the new characters. but making them the killers plus the call-back to scream 2? lazy writing in my eyes. i was EXCITED for the shrine and it having more meaning behind it. but for it just to be richie’s little thing... *sigh*. neither richie or amber had the big of an impact on me for being the killers ( and as sam pointed out, amber did most of the killings / attacks. ) so to have richie be the focus once more...again it’s a call-back to scream 2; mrs. loomis / billy.

it honestly feels like they’re trying to make sam the next sidney prescott and like...i get it. new generation means needing a new scream queen and that’s okay. just ya know...do something different for the character so that she’s not held under the sidney prescott gaze / shadow that fans will hold over her. give sam carpenter a chance to thrive and become the great scream queen that she can be!

and lastly...the overall set up and hinting to it being stu macher is what leaves the most disappointing taste in my mouth. and i know, i know...i shouldn’t have got my hopes up but there were SEVERAL things that made it sound like stu was coming back. the conversation between ghostface and gale weathers; “i’ve waited a long time for this” and “we’ve never had the chance/pleasure of speaking on the phone.”  i’m sorry but that was the LOUDEST indicator for the killer to be stu macher. because i’m sorry but quinn and ethan are literal fetuses and their dad det. bailey had no reason to hold anything against gale. so...overall, movie was good, was nice to see kirby back ( someone WE ALL thought was DEAD ) and be there to help the core4. but the writers should have and could have gone a different route with ghostface this time around.

actually one final note; mindy meeks was the saving grace of this film and she truly is randy’s niece like godbless her and i’m glad she and chad get to live and see another day!!! and i lied, two final notes here; stu macher was ALWAYS supposed to have survived the television falling on his head as reported via kevin williamson as stu was supposed to be the killer in scream 3 but due to the mass shooting at columbine, they scrapped the idea as the idea had involved stu using two high schoolers to do his biding via a prison cell. so...stu macher is alive and fucking well in my eyes.

[fratboykate]

So I’m thinking about the lovers through the ages AU as always. And I just saw a pic of Hailee from True Grit on one of my feeds snd it just had me thinking…

KY!Pioneer/Oregon Trail AU

Did you ever see that movie with Vanessa Kirby and Katherine Waterson, The World To Come? I’m seeing those vibes, but like…it could go several ways.

One way it could go is that Kate is traveling with her parents/family while Yelena is traveling with her husband. Of course Kate catches some suss activity between them one night when she wakes to pee and is creeping around the campsite, wherein said husband beats Yelena and she’s stone cold/turns the other cheek defiantly, which you know, shouldn’t Do Things to Kate, but it kind of does because it’s something she’s just not used to seeing…so she sneaks back to her wagon and has to squeeze in between her siblings (one of which will inevitably die on the journey RIP little baby Frederick) and tries to go back to sleep but now she can’t stop thinking about the other woman and also what the actual fuck is happening to her, why is she feeling so hot all of a sudden??? Anyway, as the days carry on, Kate starts to watch them more closely and can’t help but notice they aren’t like the other couples traveling. She starts trying to sort of not-so-subtly step in and Yelena is like, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll back the fuck off bitch, you’re going to get yourself killed. He isn’t somebody to mess around with. If you could see the scars on my body, you would know. So naturally, fighting and flirting and sneaking around shenanigans ensue until Kate accidentally kills Yel’s husband in an effort to try and defend/protect Yelena, and it becomes An Issue because of messy reasons. But this also completely shifts the way Yelena views little miss Katherine Bishop because until now she’d thought little of her except how spoiled and innocent she seemed.

The other route is that Kate is married to a man and Yelena has bought her passage West as a helping hand to the pair…lots of livestock, that kind of thing. Kate is, of course, inexplicably attracted to Yelena as she watches her driving the oxen or making bullets or whatever else they’ve got to take care of because we know that women who were a part of the wagon train often had to step outside the bounds of what was considered “traditional” domestic affairs for the sake of survival AND DAMN IT ALL if this woman can’t give any man a run for his money, which has Kate going absolutely feral. Like one of the oxen breaks a leg while getting the wagon over a rough patch of ground, and not only does she put it out if it’s misery, she steps in and pulls the fucking wagon out from where it’s gotten stuck. Picture Yelena with a human yoke absolutely hauling ass with buckets of water and not a drop is lost because she might be strong like bull but she’s also delicate as fuck when she needs to be. (*cough* Kates about to find out just how delicate she can be…and not be *cough*) Anyway. She absolutely breaks Katherine’s brain. Then one night Yelena saves Kate’s life by shooting a coyote or wolf or something that’s about to attack her, after Yelena has already told Kate like one million times that’s it’s a bad idea to go out walking alone in the dark 🤷‍♀️ and Kate’s just like “oops…think you could reach me how to use that gun??” And Yelena just rolls her eyes and is like you’re going to get killed if I don’t, aren’t you? but BUT halfway through the journey, Kate’s husband dies of dysentery and now they’re traveling alone…except it’s totally within reason that Kate would become the head of house, because Wagon Train Rules…did this just become a domestic partnership? Well, it’s not *not* that.

In either case, Yelena has A History and maybe it involves murder, maybe it doesn’t, but either way, she’s leaving the life she had on the east coast to find her sister, Natasha, whose last known whereabouts was a cathouse called the red room. Katherine Bishop is just along for the ride and didn’t really want to be there at all until she met Yelena. Now she finds herself oddly invested in making it West.

Boom. I don’t care if anyone else is into this, I’m frothing. I’ll be here for the next several days…sorry I went a little overboard there.

YOU KNOW WHAT...........I kinda like it when y'all decide it's "story hour" in my inbox tell ME little gay things. Then I don't have to do the work lol

[amooo1023]

tbh idk if this is okay, but may I request magolor or marx x male reader. Whoever you want to choose, you can.

Hello anon I'll gladly do your request, but I don't really write female readers and male readers or mention pronouns and genders whatsoever in my headcanons. Not even when I'm writing oneshots. The reason why I don't write female readers or male readers is because I want any gender to be able to read my oneshots or my headcanons it is not because of sexism or misandry. Please read through my entire masterlist before requesting so that these kind of events could be avoided. I'll still write for it just not for a specific gender. I'll write for Marx and Magolor separately. If you read through this anon I hope you understand and I hope I wasn't to harsh. I hope I still fulfilled your request even if it wasn't a male reader. You didn't mention if it was platonic or romantic? So I'll just not be specific about the relationship. Now time for the headcanons!

Magolor x GN!reader

This can be seen as platonic or romantic whichever you choose I won't judge. Also the first part isn't really headcanons but I thought it was cute so I added it anyway.

You met Magolor out of pure curiosity, mostly because you were curious why a random ship was lying on dream land. You also just kind of busted in without actually knocking, causing Magolor to jolt away from the large seemingly computer like screen and turn around to look at who had intruded into the lor starcutter. Only to be met with an embarrassed and curious face while he glares at you. You sputter up a few apologies and excuses while Magolor listens but is uninterested about your apologies. What he is interested in is your lack of logical sense and understanding situations. I mean seriously? You see a ship and you just bust in without a thought or doubt of what the ship could be. You have to have had the mentality of a curious teenager.

After you had said your apologies you decided to take your leave and turn to the door that led to the outside. Only to realize that someone was in front of the door. You stop and take a few steps back to check who it was, only to be met with the same mage that owned the ship. You mouth ‘what’.

The mage tells you that he wouldn’t mind company as a way to apologise more formally. You shrug and just go with his request, deciding it wouldn’t hurt getting to know the egg looking mage a bit more. He gestures to a light blue seat next to a light blue table. He then quickly floats somewhere else, supposedly to his kitchen, because you could hear tea brewing. You sit down and wait patiently for him to come back. 

A few minutes pass and he comes back with some tea and a blue tea set with him. Wow, he really seems to like the color blue, huh? You note to yourself.

Usually he would just let people like you leave without giving a fuck about what just happened, or who they were. But you were interesting to say the very least, besides he hasn’t had company in years and might as well get to know people around here before he tries to find Kirby. He asks you a few questions while you strike up conversations with him

You were surprisingly pleasant to talk to. He found it almost eerie how much you had in common with him. There were many conversations he enjoyed with you. You were humorous, fun, nice, kind- Wait, was he making a list of how you were? He doesn’t want to admit it but he got rather fond of you. One thing was for sure he was going to keep in touch with you.

It’s already getting dark outside, he might’ve kept you longer than he should have. You check the clock and you just realized how late it was. You quickly excuse yourself from the table and get up. Magolor stops you, again. He quickly asks you if you would want to do this again sometime with him. You tell him that you wouldn’t mind visiting him now and then for quick chats and hangouts. He practically floats around you in excitement at the idea of you visiting him again and hugs you without a warning. You jump at the random hug out of nowhere, and slightly pat his back. Obviously signalling that you wanted him to stop hugging you.

He doesn’t take the hint and just continues hugging you. You have to push him off for him to get the hint. He jolts away from you and quickly says “Sorry.”. You accept his apology and walk out of the ship.

He already misses you as you get out of his ship. One thing is for sure he was going to long for your next visit, but he’ll wait patiently. Maybe he won’t try to find Kirby yet.

Every time you visit him he jumps and floats around out of excitement. He also brags about himself and his ship, you find it kind of funny how happy and open he is with you.

He will definitely show off his magic to you, he does it because he is so used to people liking him for his power and his intelligence. Only for you to tell him that you don’t care about his magic and only care about him. He would be lying if he said he didn’t blush a little at your comment. 

He never asks for permission to get in your personal space, he just gets so excited when you visit him! How could he stop himself from not holding you in the air? I mean look at you! You are basically the embodiment of beauty. You make him feel so whole and complete. 

Whenever you leave him he feels as if a part of him breaks. He feels so Incomplete without you near him. Honestly, if you would stop visiting him he would break down, becoming paranoid and frantically floating around in circles while his mind wanders to the worst possible conclusions. How has he been able to stay alive without you for all of these years? He needs you to stay sane.

When you hug him or compliment him he gets insanely giddy and uses a lot more physical affection for the entire day.

On some occasions you have to sleep on the ship because you were with him for too long or something came in the way stopping you from going home. Sure, he knows he’s the one causing the trouble but at least you’ll stay longer with him! A small prize to play for more playtime with you.

He’s a bit mischievous! He hides your things, pulls pranks on you, makes your bullies have a concussion and puts a tracker on you. Sure you commented at this being something bad, but he could care less about what the law says. But now he knows where you live now! Now he could visit you too.

He buys you sweets sometimes, usually it’s your favourite type of sweets. He knows this because you told him once.

The only time he asks for permission to get in your personal space is when he asks if he could snuggle with you or on you. When he does get permission, he snuggles into your chest and rubs his egg-like body into you and takes in your scent while he slowly rubs his scent on you.

He also cooks food for you.

He likes reading books. So if you have a book with you he'll ask if he can borrow it for a while.

He likes to play video games with you! It's very tied and the games are usually fair for the both of you.

Marx x GN!reader

Quick author note! I just thought this GIF was funny and decided to add it. (The person who posted this GIF has a point.)

Couldn't come up with any meeting headcanons here. This can be seen as platonic or romantic whichever you choose I won't judge.

Marx loves hanging out with you. You never complain about him or tell him to stop doing whatever he’s doing. You’re chill and cool about anything he does. You’re also kind of the only person who can deal with his nonsense.

You tease him about not having hands. He usually gets annoyed by this and groans loudly, comedically of course. But he fights back and teases you about your creepy fetishes and interests. Until war erupts.

Prank wars, lots of prank wars. Marx is a master at pranking and he goes batshit insane with his pranks. He goes to low levels to extremely high levels just to surprise you. You know you have no chance in beating him but you still make the effort simply because it’s fun.

He gets hangry and just goes into episodes where he decides to take over the world or just becomes straight up god just because he’s hungry. This grape is insane and will do anything for food.

He tried cooking food once, it was the last time he ever got to be in the kitchen. Let’s just say your house was up in flames when you came home, and so was he when you found out what he had done.

Yeah you two are housemates. But holy shit do you regret letting him stay, all kind of crazy shit happen ever since you let him move in with you. Still it’s pretty humorous when neighbours or royals come and knock at your door telling you that Marx had destroyed their town or house and you just reply with “Again?” with a laid-back expression on your face, as if it’s a normal thing that happens, which it is. 

Do not let him near coffee. I REPEAT DO NOT LET HIM NEAR COFFEE. He drank some coffee one day and he started to hyperventilate more than what he usually does and just goes on a rampage while people are screaming. Houses are on fire, armageddon fucking happens. It took way too much time to make him stop destroying people's food stashes.

There are times when he is calm and just hangs out with you like a normal person but it doesn’t happen often. He usually rants about Kirby getting on his shit and destroying his plans and you just nod not really caring about whatever the fuck he’s babbling on about.

Even though he causes a lot of trouble for you, he has some great qualities about himself too. He cracks up jokes that are to die for. He also finds a lot of fun activities to do with you, he can get pretty creative.

You two tried to watch a horror movie but it ended up with Marx getting bored of the movie and bragging about himself telling you he could already do all of those things the movie you two watched showed. Even though those are obviously things that are not supposed to be bragged about or something you should be proud about. But he does have a point. He could do all of those things the movie showed. It would be terrifying but witnessing Marx eat a grape basically committing cannibalism was a lot worse.

Everyday is an adventure with this weirdo so go crazy with him.

I've realized that some of you people don't know what gender neutral means? But it basically means that it's not associated with any gender and can be any gender.

[miekasa]

wait so i was scrolling through your blog (as per usual) and i saw that you brought up levi and his streamer gf briefly. care to elaborate a lil causeee im curious 👀👀

- 🖤

Absolutely, I can. He’s such a supportive bf even tho he’s far from a gamer himself, and very very proud of you 😌

Whatever game(s) you play, Levi knows the basics. He might not have ever played them himself, but he knows enough to recognize it if it ever comes up in conversation.

He doesn’t always watch your streams, and you can hardly tell when he does because he doesn’t comment or anything. He just tunes in when he’s free to support you and see what’s going on. Sometimes to peep on your comment section, but he’d never tell you that.

He doesn’t make donations. He’d just Apple Pay you money lmfao. Supportive emotionally and financially, but all your followers/subscribers don’t have to see that.

He knows when you’re recording content or streaming and typically doesn’t bother you. The only exceptions are (a) if he forgets or (b) you’ve been in your room for a while and he’s going in to check up on you.

He doesn’t forget often—and truthfully, when he walks in on your streams its not actually because he forgot; it’s because you’re online at a different time that usual and he didn’t know—but it’s pretty cute when he does. He catches himself pretty quickly, and silently asks you if you’re streaming; to which he gently closes the door and just texts you his inquiry.

He doesn’t even really disturb you—it’s not like he enters rooms cussing up a storm on full blast. Nobody could even tell he walked in, except for maybe a small lapse in your attention when you turned to him.

When you’ve been in your room for a while, he does come in to check on you. His intentions aren’t necessarily to get you away from the screen; he just wants to make sure you’ve had dinner or some snacks at the very least. When you have all night tournaments or streaming fests, he comes by with dinner for you; silently puts it on your desk, and on occasion, leaves you with a little head pat.

He doesn’t normally appear in your streams, but he is in two of your YouTube videos: one shopping haul, and once when he helped you make him/your friends in the Sims. They happen to be two of your highest viewed videos.

People constantly ask about him. They know Levi exists, but they don’t see him often, and newer fans especially are obsessed with catching a glimpse of your mysterious boyfriend on screen. If you asked him, he’d come in for a few seconds to show his face, but he wouldn’t do it unprompted.

You mention him, of course, it’s not like you’re hiding him away either. He comes up particularly often when you play with your friends or are just chatting in lobbies. You don’t exactly explicitly refer to him as your boyfriend, but you say his name—and so does Hange—and people kinda get the picture.

Hange constantly asking for Levi when you guys are playing together. It’s one of the few times Levi comes into your chat/comments to tell them to shutup. (Yes, your subscribers go crazy for the glimpse of Levi on your channel).

He’s not a gamer, and he sees no reason to disturb your streams by appearing if you don’t ask. But, also, he’s a little camera shy, not that he’d ever tell you that. You’ve got a lot of followers, he’s not prepared to be live in front of thousands of people every night; he’ll leave that up to you.

Levi built nearly everything in your gaming setup. From the adjustable standing desks, to the wall mounts for your accessories and decorations, to your chair, to the shelves. He built it all and tailored it to your exact taste and to fit your room perfectly.

So, sometimes you feel bad when people ask about stuff because you can’t exactly give them a link or recommendation—“Oh thank you! The thing is, my—well, Levi built the desk for me so you can’t buy it—but! There are some similar ones at IKEA!!”

(Levi scoffs ever so lightly when he sees that clip. His craftsmanship cannot be found at IKEA, but they can try).

He also helped mount the TV in your room so that the cables were hidden and everything. Truly a godsend. And whenever you wanna move things around, he’s there to help you. Sometimes he even has ideas of his own, “You were looking at accent walls the other day right? I think you could do something with this back wall…”

He does play games with you, just usually offscreen. He’s scarily good at first person shooters… even tho he claims to not have any past experience with them… extremely suspicious activity.

And when he mains D.Va and Symmetra then what. Then what.

Just don’t ask him to play Fornite. Ever. (He’d be good at it, but he feels so fucking dumb playing it especially when he can hear that he is competing against a twelve year old pls).

He plays games by himself, too. Think “classic” run of the mill console videos games, I guess, nothing too crazy; Zelda, Mario, Kirby… Animal Crossing. His island is nothing short of immaculate, his only regret is that he doesn’t have oranges as his island fruit. Levi really likes oranges (he got peaches instead).

He knows that you’re pretty popular and he’s super proud of you. That doesn’t mean he likes to see fancam style edits of you on his feed. He knows that you’re pretty but still 🙄🙄

Constantly on the look out for computer/keyboard parts that you mentioned. If he sees it online or anywhere else, he’ll try and snag it for you <3 that goes for new console games, too.

He’ll also periodically upgrade some of the tech in your setup. Get you a better mic, some more lighting for your desk, a cute desk mat he thinks you might like. He’s observant, so he knows your taste in design and takes note of things you mention.

Okay okay okay but imagine putting the headphones with the kitty ears on him. He wouldn’t even notice at first and then you turn on the LEDs and bam. Very focused, very cute kitty Levi playing games on your PC.

If you’ve got a merch store, he helps you run it, and by that I mean, he practically runs it for you. Periodically, he might even have a design idea. You can count on him to get things out for shipping right on time. It’s one of his many ways of supporting you.

He’s also the one who remembers to check your P.O. box for packages from fans and from companies. It was his idea initially, too (he wasn’t too crazy about anyone, even major brands having your home address on file).

Look, he knows you’ve got some super fans, and some people who really do adore you. That doesn’t mean he’s necessarily happy when you get sent non-tech or gaming related merch (like jewelry or shoes or whatever). If he happens to put them a little bit out of sight then no he did not <2

Occasionally he’ll meet someone who recognizes your name when it comes up in conversation. He very proudly confirms that yes, he is talking about you, the streamer.

Sometimes, people will even recognize him back—“Oh, so you’re Levi, then!” Obviously. You only have one Levi in your life 🙄🙄

[sineala]

Captain America: The Great Gold Steal

I wrote this up last week because I did not have access to my usual comics files but I figured I could review something that was just a book. So here is a review of the 1968 Captain America novel Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White, with an introduction by Stan Lee. I really liked it, actually! It was surprisingly good!

This novel features: Cover art of Captain America holding his shield in one hand and a very large gun in the other! A scene where the villains dramatically unmask Captain America and have absolutely no idea who he is! Captain America being extremely, extremely depressed about being in the future! Captain America dropping acid!

(I'm not kidding about the last part. In this novel there is a lot of LSD use. By Captain America. Talk about something the Comics Code wouldn't ever let you put in a comic book. Thank you, 1968.)

Faithful readers may remember that some time ago I posted reviews of Marvel prose novels from the 1970s. There was a line of prose novels featuring everyone's favorite Marvel superheroes, published by Pocket Books in the late 70s; I have reviews of the Iron Man, Captain America, and Avengers entries in the series; I liked the Iron Man one best, and I also have a Doctor Strange one I have not yet read. They're all short and action-packed paperback reads, of varying quality; the only one by anyone you might have heard of is the Avengers one, which was written by David Michelinie, who was actually writing the Avengers run at the time. That one was, um. An experience. 

(Yes, it's "prose novel" because otherwise the assumption is "graphic novel.")

Marvel still publishes prose novels now, of course, also of varying quality; some are new plots and some are straight-up novelizations of comics arcs, which I guess is useful if you want to, say, read Civil War and not look at pictures at the same time. I also have a bunch of those that I could probably review if anyone wants. But, anyway, I personally am particularly intrigued by the older Marvel prose novels, both because the stories are all original and not retellings, and also because I often prefer the characterization found in older comics. And the older prose novels of course use the then-current characterization. So reading a Marvel prose novel from 1979 is like getting to read a brand-new comic from 1979, and that's a whole lot of fun for a nerd like me. Also do you know what's not subject to the Comics Code? Prose novels. So things can happen in these that definitely could not happen in comics of the same era.

This brings me to my current prose novel, which is something else entirely. I mean, okay, not really, it's still a Marvel prose novel. But it's not part of the same line. It's actually a lot older.

Bantam Books actually published Marvel prose novels in the late 60s. Yep, a full decade earlier. They published exactly two, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they were probably not bestsellers. The first one, which I do not own and now sort of want to track down, was an Avengers novel in 1967, The Avengers Battle the Earth-Wrecker. And then in 1968 they published the novel I am currently holding in my hands, Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White.

(I am still not sure why no one involved in titling this book thought of the word "theft.")

Judging by the back copy, it appears to be about Captain America foiling the villains' dastardly plan to steal gold from the Federal Reserve. Oh boy. Fun.

So this book is from 1968. The modern Marvel universe had kicked off just a few short years ago! Captain America was just getting his own solo book after the end of Tales of Suspense! And here's a novel about him, back when certain elements of his characterization were perhaps a little more flexible than they are today, by which I mean that the cover art -- which the internet informs me was painted by Mitchell Hooks -- is a striking full-body portrait of Captain America, head held high, shield in one hand... and a very large gun in the other. Hell, yeah. Not gonna see that in today's Cap comics, are you? It's amazing and I love it.

(Okay, you might see that in Ults. I'm pretty sure I have seen that in Ults, actually. But this is still cool.)

So the cover art is a definite plus, and apparently it's one of the few reasons anyone has ever heard of this novel. The other reason -- and the reason this is more expensive than the later novels, I assume -- is that Stan Lee's name is slapped on the cover, because he wrote an introduction. (I think I paid about $30 for this. The others were definitely under $20.)

All right. Here we go.

The first page is actually a brief summary of Steve's origin story, but not a version I was familiar with. Steve was born July 9, 1917 (yes, I was surprised too), was orphaned at a young age, and was a student at Columbia University (!) before Rebirth, which in this version is a gradual process that is also extremely body-horror. Steel tubing was inserted into the marrows of his bones. He was fed "high-protein compounds." Then they gave him a chemical that "gave him complete control over every nerve, muscle, and cell in his now-magnificent body." Sweet. Where can I get some of that?

The blurb also confirms his control over his own metabolism as well as his healing factor ("wounds would heal in half the normal time"), which is nice, because sometimes I wonder if canon even remembers the healing factor.

(I don't know why Marvel has this kink for filling people's bones with metal, though. It's not actually empty in there, guys! You need your bone marrow! How else do you want people to make new blood cells?)

The book is dedicated to "Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, without whom there would be no Captain America." Hey, Marvel, Joe Simon would like a word with you. I'm just saying.

The Stan Lee introduction is three paragraphs written in Stan Lee's, um, inimitable, distinctive and extremely florid narrative style -- if you've read any of his work, you know what I mean -- and making the point that Captain America is incredible and you will like him. If you are just discovering him for the first time, you will definitely like him. Okay. Thanks. I guess.

Oddly, the writing style here is substantially different than any of the other Marvel prose novels I've read; it doesn't immediately front-load you with exposition and a cast of colorful superheroes. It opens with a sort of James Bond spy-novel feel, running through a series of unnamed villains and bystanders, and a man who wants nothing more than to talk to Captain America but is killed before he can. Steve comes in halfway through the chapter, and he seems to be written for a reader who doesn't necessarily know who he is, and he isn't introduced as Captain America with his shield flying ahead of him to smite evildoers, or anything like that. He's just a tall, handsome blond guy who is reading a bunch of novels and is unsatisfied by all of them because all he can think of is the past. It's definitely an attitude I would expect from Steve in this era -- he is very much a Man Out Of Time here -- but it's also not how I expected the book to introduce him. You wouldn't even know he was Captain America by the end of the opening chapter, which then ends with a digression about the history of NYC subway tunnels. It's like it wants to appeal to someone who has watched a bunch of Man from UNCLE and just wants to read a cool thriller. Which is not at all what I was expecting.

By the beginning of the second chapter, of course, we discover that Steve is Captain America, as he changes into his uniform. The narration refers to him as Rogers when it's in his POV, if anyone is curious. He apparently keeps the cowl off in the mansion, because the cowl annoys him.

It was not so much that he needed to conceal his identity these days, because for all intents and purposes he had no other identity. Steve Rogers was officially dead, and had been for almost twenty years. Captain America *was* his identity. It was only when he donned the tight-fitting blue uniform with its shield chest-emblem, the red snug-fitting leather boots, and the heavy, yet pressure-sensitive red-leather gauntlets, that he began to feel real -- a complete human being.

Steve? Buddy, are you okay there? You're really not okay, are you, huh?

You see what I mean? They're really hitting the early-canon angst. Hard.

(Also it sounds like his uniform is a few sizes too small.)

We then get an expanded version of the backstory from the beginning excerpt. In this version of canon, Steve actually has an older brother, Alan, who is handsome and athletic and basically amazing, and when they are orphaned they are raised by their aunt and uncle. Steve gets TB twice as a kid, nearly dies from it, and when the stock market crashes, ends up separated from his brother and in an orphanage after his uncle loses everything.

(Honestly if I were writing this book, his brother would be the secret villain. Chekhov's Gun!)

Steve has glasses, gets bullied, is a nerd and an honor student, and studies law at Columbia because he wants to help stop fraudulent business practices and also fight organized crime. Legally, I mean. In a manner relating to law. I guess he's sort of like Daredevil. The lawyer part of Daredevil.

And then he joins Rebirth, and this is the part where I had to put the book down for several minutes, because Erskine's secret chemical, the key to making super-soldiers... is LSD.

Oh my God. You should see my face right now. My expression is, I am sure, indescribable. I'm trying not to wake the dog up laughing.

I just. Holy shit. This book is from 1968 in a way I definitely was not expecting. What the fuck, Marvel?

This project was headed by the brilliant biochemist, Dr. Erskine. His work with the endocrine system, and chemical body control, was well beyond that of his contemporaries. Only he, of all his colleagues, had fathomed the secrets of the Swiss Dr. Hoffman's 1938 discovery -- the mind-controlling LSD-25.

Let's just pause here for a few minutes and contemplate this.

I will point out that Albert Hofmann (yes, the book spelled his name wrong) didn't actually discover that LSD was a hallucinogen until 1943 when he accidentally tried it, but I am positive that 1968 here was a time when Some People were convinced LSD was a wonder drug. I'm still laughing. As far as I can tell, legal manufacturing of it stopped in 1965 so I am pretty sure that the author did not just decide to name a drug that had an ostensible legal therapeutic use, because it wouldn't have still had one by '68.

Anyway, in this version of events, Rebirth is a month-long process that involves a lot of vitamins, physical conditioning and training, and, yes, putting metal in his bones like he's the next Wolverine. They're filling his bones with stainless steel rods to make him stronger. That doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I am also not sure about dropping acid to gain superpowers. Clearly I am not a genius scientist. Also Erskine knows what DNA is, apparently, because he's just that great. Anyway. Other than the metal, those all seem like relatively normal interventions. So far.

Now Steve has become fairly big and strong (and I guess he still has metal in his bones? this concerns me!) but they need to make him superhuman, so, yes, really, it's time to drop acid. Several pages of this book are devoted to describing Steve's acid trip. His acid trip is amazing and he discovers that he has conscious control of his entire body down to the cellular level. He can control the adrenaline in his bloodstream! He can tighten his muscle fibers! And when he's done tripping he still remembers how to do this, if not exactly on a conscious level, but he can still access the abilities. And that is how you make a super-soldier. It's LSD. Remember, kids, drugs are awesome! Do drugs!

Let's maybe take a few more minutes to think about this.

I just. I have no words. How did anyone at Marvel agree to print this?

I think for the most part superhero origin stories tend not to involve real drugs because people are generally aware that drugs they've heard of won't make you into a superhero. I guess this is what it looks like when you invoke the names of real drugs. They probably wanted something that sounded more realistic but somehow I don't think this was the best way to go. (Radiation, of course, will definitely make you into a superhero but I feel like most people have accepted that as one of the conventions of the genre.)

Anyway, after that Erskine gets killed by Nazis, of course, and Steve goes to war, and for some reason this book contains footnotes by Stan Lee himself listing the comics you can read all of this in. Just like the actual comics do!

We are introduced to Bucky, who for some reason is also from the LES in this version, although not anyone Steve knew before the war, and there is of course a description of Bucky's tragic death and Steve's subsequent icing.

They are really, really stressing the Man Out Of Time thing here:

No other man could have survived so fantastic a voyage through time. And no other man could feel so displaced by time.

He was a man twenty years in his own future. By rights, he should be nearly fifty years old -- nearly twice the age of his fellow Avengers. Yet his mind and his body were not yet thirty.

When the Avengers had brought him back to New York with them and insisted that, as an honored hero of the past, he join them, he felt a sort of melancholy homesickness for his own time and world.

We then get a few paragraphs with the usual being sad that he let Bucky down and got him killed, and also that he misses his family, and that Steve Rogers doesn't exist anymore, and that nobody is alive who remembers him, and that war is hell.

Hey, Steve, maybe the drugs you should do are antidepressants. Just a thought.

Also, this book is 118 pages and we're not out of the origin story flashback until page 34. I think there are some pacing issues here.

Actually, I lied, the flashback keeps going, but now we're up to the Avengers finding him, and I have to say that the list of things Steve finds strange about the future is kind of charming when the future is 1968. Men have long hair! Women have shorter skirts! Everyone is kind of blasé about rocket launches because there have been so many space missions now. (Oh, come on, you haven't even landed on the moon yet, 1968! You're not that blasé.) Color TV! And, excitingly, LPs! You can now listen to 36 minutes of consecutive music. (I actually don't know what previous standard he's describing that is a ten-inch record that holds six minutes a side because I don't think 45s are that big. Yeah, no, I just checked and 45s are seven inches in diameter. Hmm. Oh, never mind. He means 78 rpm, doesn't he? In my defense, the record player my family had when I was a kid didn't play those.)

The description of Steve coming into New York for the first time is definitely written by someone who knows New York, which is fun. There is generally a lot of local flavor to the setting of this book. That’s one of the best parts.

There is a brief summary of Steve's feelings about all the Avengers -- he is most impressed by Thor, which, I mean, fair, he's an actual god -- and Hank telling him all about how he can live in Tony's mansion. With Jarvis. Who Hank says is actually from Flatbush. Apparently Steve spent a lot of time at the NYPL branch at 5th and 42nd trying to catch up on history. And then of course the Avengers ditched him and gave him the Kooky Quartet, and for some reason they're not here right now either so it's just Steve being sad and alone and dealing with this mysterious dead guy. I think probably the book is also done explaining fiat currency now. This is definitely the weirdest Marvel novel I've read.

Anyway, we have now returned to what is ostensibly the actual plot. Steve shows up at the New York Federal Reserve Bank (I guess the theft is happening here and not, like, at Fort Knox) with the gold bullion that the dead guy from the beginning of the book had on him -- I think I got distracted by the LSD bit and forgot to mention that part, but the dead guy was carrying some US government gold -- because the actual plot is that villains are trying to tunnel into the bank vault and steal gold. Steve discovers this after he gets the bank manager to give him a tour. The bank manager tries to refuse, citing security concerns -- Captain America could be anyone under that mask, after all! Steve just smiles and says, "If I removed my mask, would you have any better idea of who I am?" and I guess that's a flawless argument because he gets his tour.

(I'm sorry, all I can think of is that one gif from the JLA cartoon where Lex Luthor bodyswaps with the Flash, announces that now that he's in the Flash's body he's going to discover the Flash's secret identity, then pulls off his own mask, stares at himself in the mirror, and says, "I have no idea who this is.")

Given that the theme of Steve's interior life in this novel is "Steve Rogers died twenty years ago" it seems even more sad that Steve is just walking around basically saying, yeah, well, I'm nobody. And apparently that is being reaffirmed for him by the narrative.

So Steve goes down the tunnels, takes out some of the bad guys, and gets himself knocked out and buried in a collapsing tunnel. Don't worry, he's gonna be fine.

A lot of this book, by the way, is from the POV of random people, like this bank guard who went with Steve into the tunnels:

He had wondered, briefly, if a man like Captain America ever knew the pinch of too many bills, had ever felt desperate over the arrival of yet another mouth to feed. But, of course, Captain America had no family, and would hardly concern himself with such matters. It didn't occur to Thompson to wonder if this in itself might not be something for which to pity Captain America.

Rude. I mean, come on, do we really need random characters telling us Steve is a sad sack whom nobody loves? Steve's already got that covered!  (Also, how does this guy know Captain America has no family?)

Anyway, thanks to the power of LSD, Steve is going into a trance, amping up his metabolism (he loses "several pounds" in a few minutes), and making himself super-strong so he can dig himself out. Hooray. This is definitely how human bodies work. Also LSD. This is definitely how LSD works. Yes.

Steve then finds out that a couple of the guards who were with him in the tunnels died down there and he goes home and eats dinner while stewing in miserable guilt because he was responsible for their deaths. He's really not okay. I'm not sure the book actually understands how not okay they have made him. Then someone from SHIELD is on the phone for him and he is briefly cheered up by the thought that it might be Sharon although I think we should also note that the narrative makes it clear that at this point in canon Steve still doesn't know her name. Remember when that was a thing?

Alas, it is not Sharon; it's just a random SHIELD agent who happens to have information about the plot and asks to meet. Then, as Steve leaves to go to the meeting, we get two pages of exhaustive description about the mansion layout and how it's built relative to the surrounding buildings. It feels like this book was written by a frustrated city planner. But anyway, the meeting is a setup and the villains capture Steve.

They knock Steve out, drug him, take him to their hideout, and tie him to a chair. Except, once again thanks to the power of LSD, the tranquilizer they're using wears off way sooner than they expected and so Steve feigns unconsciousness and listens to them discuss their evil plans.

And then the villains unmask him and I swear it's exactly like that JLA gif:

Rogers heard footsteps scuffing across a thick carpet, and then Sparrow's voice again, almost directly over him. His ears still buzzed, but he fought to catch the elusive familiarity of the man's tone. He wished he dared open his eyes.

"This is a moment which I, personally, have long awaited," Sparrow said, his voice rising in triumph. "*The unmasking of Captain America!*"

Then, his nails scraping along Rogers' face, Sparrow dug his fingers under his cowl, and ripped it back. Rogers felt air strike his exposed cheeks and forehead. Then fingers clutched his blond hair and pulled his head back. "Behold!" Sparrow said.

Raven was first to speak. "Well, I dunno about you, Sparrow, but it rings no bells with me. I never seen him before."

Starling agreed. "His face means nothing to me."

"He could be anybody," said Robin. "What good does this do?"

Sparrow let Rogers' head fall back to his chest, and his voice when he spoke was defeated. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I always wondered. I felt, if these guys -- these costumed heroes -- wore masks, it must mean something."

"Captain America was missing for twenty years," Starling said. "That could mean the first one died, and this one took his place. He looks awfully young."

"Perhaps. It doesn't really matter. Let's get going."

(Yes, the villains all have bird-themed codenames. I have no idea why.)

This scene just makes my day. I love dramatic unmaskings. I bet they'd have been a lot happier unmasking Iron Man.

The villains then leave Steve and go to a power plant, where we switch POVs to one of the plant employees and get two entirely unnecessary paragraphs about his racist and anti-Semitic thoughts about his coworkers before the villains murder him. Great. Thanks.

Anyway, the villains cause a blackout, while meanwhile they've left Steve alone with the girl villain, and Steve is busy trying to persuade her that crime doesn't pay. He's moved from the "do you know what they'll do to you in prison?" theme onto "how exactly are you going to spend a billion dollars in gold bullion when it's illegal for civilians to possess? who are you going to do business with?" and then points out that gold is heavy and hard to transport, which is when she gets out a a knife.

The bad guys are off to steal the gold, and Steve has now successfully turned the girl they left him with, because she frees him. Of course, the first thing he does is put the cowl back on.

"Why do you wear that?" she asked.

"The mask?" He smiled. "It gives people something external to concentrate upon."

"But..."

"Without it, I'm just another ordinary-looking man. With it, I become a symbol. For some people it creates awe; for others, fear. Look at me. I'm different now, aren't I? With the mask on."

"Yes," she nodded. "You look -- bigger, somehow. Stronger. Fierce, implacable. You look a little scary."

"Exactly. You no longer see me as a person, but as a thing -- an Avenger. It can be a potent psychological weapon."

"They were so disappointed, when they took your mask off. As though underneath they'd find a famous person."

"Maybe that goes on TV -- handsome playboys, and all that. But I've been anonymous all my life. Even my real name would be meaningless to you, to them. No, the mask is part of the uniform, a psychological device. That's the whole story.

Now: let's get out of here. You have a good deal more to tell me yet, and we can't waste more time."

Bwahaha. In a few years, Steve's going to be pretty surprised about who superheroes are, I think.

STEVE, now: Superheroes definitely aren't secretly handsome playboys! That would be silly! STEVE, after Molecule Man: fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK I'm such an idiot

I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Also, not that the issue of Steve's psyche actually recurs after this, but he's once again having the narrative vindicate his belief that Steve Rogers is dead and whoever he is under the cowl doesn't matter. Steve, I don't think this is very healthy.

Steve then tracks down the villains stealing the gold, has some geopolitical thoughts about where the gold could be going (he thinks either South Africa or Russia for the best laundering potential) and then hides himself in the villains' trunk while they drive to Staten Island, which is where they're taking the gold out of the country from.

During the final confrontation, Steve finally gets to see the villains, and he discovers that the one in charge is in fact the director of the Federal Reserve Bank who Steve met at the beginning of this book. Gasp. But that's not all! He's also... the Red Skull!

Honestly, I was kind of surprised; I didn't think this was the kind of book where we'd get any known comic villains, but I guess it's always gotta be the Red Skull. I think he's the only one of Steve's big villains who likes to disguise himself; Zemo has obvious disguise issues and I imagine it's also hard to cover up Zola's Teletubby-esque television body.

Steve shoots one of the villains, because I guess that's what he does in this era of canon.

So the plot wraps up in, like, two pages, because for some reason all these early Marvel novels wrap up very fast. Red Skull, of course, attempts to escape and then disappears and his body is never found. The end.

Well.

That was definitely a book. That I read. Believe it or not, I actually think it was the best of these early Marvel prose novels that I've read so far, even if it was also the absolute weirdest; I thought the thriller-style plot was entertaining, I liked Steve and his Extremely Sad characterization, I obviously enjoy all the identity themes, I liked how very detailed the New York setting was, and I do like how they tried to treat it all seriously. I mean, sure, this did lead to LSD in the super-soldier serum in presumably the name of realism, but I felt like the book was trying to present superheroes in a way that didn't feel silly and also didn't really take for granted that the reader would automatically accept superheroes.

It felt like a book that was written hoping that people who weren't superhero fans would read it, if that makes any sense. And I thought that was interesting, because most modern superhero work that I can think of assumes they've got complete audience buy-in and everyone is willing to suspend their disbelief and we all know the genre conventions and are expecting people running around in brightly-colored spandex. Whereas this is more like a James Bond novel if for some reason James Bond were called upon to defend his decision to wear brightly-colored spandex instead of bespoke suits. But I assume no one read it, because Bantam never published a Marvel book after this one.

If you can actually find a copy of this one for a price you're willing to pay. I recommend it. It was delightful and way more solid than I thought it was going to be.

Also, come on, you know you want to read about Captain America's acid trip.

[orange-waterfalls]

Just Dance for the Nintendo Wii

Yancy x gn!reader

ty anon for the request!

A/N: Shit was so fun to write I swear. Just Dance was my childhood. I had a thing about memorizing all the dances in all the songs in all the games I got. I also didn’t actually look at the moves in the corner I just watched the dancer lmao. And when I found out other people didn’t do that I just ???it’s so much easier???? I might’ve projected onto Yancy a lil bit. It’s a fun fic! It is a fun and light-hearted fic, I promise. Couple curse words. TW mention of smoking and cigarettes. That’s about it. I think it could be seen as platonic or romantic. Reader does call him “babe” at one point but I call my friends darling and sweetie so I think it’s fine. Might be a few typos since I never read through my fics lmao. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.9k

Lunch ended and you immediately shot up out of your chair, making your way down the hall. Your friends stared after you, slightly offended you didn’t even bother saying goodbye. You would have any other day, but this was important.

You stomped your way to the warden's office, pushing past the guards who mostly just gave you confused looks. You would have made your way around them, asking them to make some room, but this was important. 

You kicked the door open and stomped up to the desk. The warden jumped and put a hand over his heart. You were not an aggressive person. Really, you weren’t. But this. This was important. This was the most important thing you ever came up with.

“Jesus, child, you ever heard of knocking?” He breathed, exasperated. He looked like he was gonna keep talking, so you slammed your hands on his desk. A few months before, he probably would have had you thrown in solitary for even walking in there. But you’re a good person, and you behave for the most part. So he raised an eyebrow and waited for you to make whatever point you wanted to make.

“Wii,” you said, simply. He blinked a couple times.

“Beg pardon?” He laughed. You were on a bit of a power trip and wanted to respond with “then beg”, but the conversation probably would have ended there. You made it this far without breaking down, you couldn’t stop now.

“I want a Wii,” you said, slowly. The warden squinted at you before chuckling a little. You glared daggers at him. Laugh at you, will he?!

“Now, kiddo, that ain’t--”

“Shut up. I don’t care. I just need you to listen.” He gave you a look and leaned back in his chair. You quieted for a moment, thinking about exactly what you were gonna say. You honestly hadn’t thought you’d make it this far.

“Go ahead, I’m a busy man,” He shook you out of your thoughts. You squared your shoulders.

“Yancy likes to dance,” you stated. You stared at each other in silence for a moment as you prepared your words in your head. He waved his hand, telling you to keep going. You cleared your throat, “Yancy likes to dance… and we don’t have access to the internet.”

“And you’re not going to.” He warned.

“Yeah, yeah, I figured…” You sighed. “But that’s not what I’m here for.” He knitted his eyebrows together in intrigue.

“Alright…” He leaned forward, arms on his desk.

“Yancy can’t keep coming up with songs and dances when he gets bored. It takes a long time, and he’s getting burned out. I think that if we had another- if we had access to prepared dances and songs, it’d be better.” You stuttered. That’s okay. As long as he was listening. “I think if we had a… a game, a dancing game. Like Just Dance on the Wii or something, then we’d be better. Happier? I mean, we’re happy, but… more-more happy. There’s never… too much… happy…” You lost yourself towards the end there. You started shaking a little as the whole situation hit you like a train. What the hell were you doing? This is a PRISON, not a middle school. Why would they want you to be happy? Oh, this was a stupid idea… no. You made it this far. Sure this was stupid, but you were NOT going to back down. Not until you got a-

“Ok.”

“Huh?” You asked, dumbfounded. You stared at Mr. Murder-Slaughter, and he stared right back. “What’d you say?” He stood up from his desk and walked over to you. You fought the urge to book it and stood your ground. You puffed up your chest a little to look intimidating. From the smirk he got on his face, it wasn’t working.

“I said, ok.” Your shoulders dropped and you let out a shaky breath.

“Really? I mean… really?” 

“Sure, why not. Boosts morale, stops people from wanting to escape.” He shrugged. You stood there, mouth agape, probably looking like a moron.

“Thanks.” You murmured. He smiled at you, and you smiled right back. He took your shoulders and spun you around towards the door.

“Yeah, yeah, now get outta here! You’ve got dishes to do!” He pushed you out, and you gave him one last smile before running down to the kitchen. He watched you trip over your own feet and shook his head. You ran past a guard, who heard the noise and got confused.

“What the hell was all that?”

“Fuck around and find out!”

---

You startled awake to the sound of talking coming from outside your cell. You rubbed your eyes and looked around, not seeing your cellmate. You sighed and managed to lift yourself up out of the bed. You stretched and heard your back crack in several places. That sounded… worrying to say the least, but you had other things on your mind. For example: where was everyone?

You made your way through the prison, eventually ending up in the common room where everyone was talking over each other excitedly. 

“Sorry, forgot to set the alarm!” A guard apologized. You nodded at him. You turned and saw Tiny and slid over next to her.

“What’re we doing? Is it Thursday already?” You whispered.

“Nah, warden bought a game system,” she answered. You stared at her, mouth open slightly. “Keep staring at me we’re gonna fight.”

“Uh, sorry.” You blinked and looked forward, standing on the tips of your toes to try and get a better look. “What gaming system?”

“A Wii. Warden said we each get 30 minutes per week.” She explained. She then waited for you to respond. You didn’t.

“Dude, you alright?” She gently reached out and shook your arm.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m good.” You mumbled. “He buy any games yet?”

“Uhhhhh Super Mario Bros, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Animal Crossing, Smash…”

“Mm-hm, mm-hm, as he should.”

“I think those Wii Sports games…”

“Just Dance?”

“Don’t know. Said to talk to him if there’s a game you want.” You nodded and gave her a small fistbump before walking over to the warden, who stood away from the group. You leaned over and saw BamBam and Sparkles in a heated game of Smash Bros. You stood next to the warden and watched.

“So, you actually listened to my request?” You looked up at him in slight disbelief.

“Course I did. Why not? Like I said, boosts morale.” He smiled. You nodded and you both looked forward again.

“How much was it?” You inquired.

“$100 on eBay.”

“Deadass?!”

“Absolutely. Great condition, too. Been used before, but not necessarily broken.”

“Come with the games?” “Some. Had to tell the guy I was buying it for my foster kids for him to give them to me. Them along with the Wii is what made it $100.” He explained

“So, we’re your kids now?” You snickered.

He only answered with a hum. You looked at him, blinking rapidly. 

“What?” He said in a defensive tone.

“Nothing! Don’t worry about it!” You waved him off. He crossed his arms in a huff but dropped it.

“Buy Just Dance?”

“In the back. Saving it for when Yancy shows up.”

“Shows up? He’s not here?” “No. He went to the yard when everyone gathered here.” You hummed and looked down, thinking.

Why did Yancy leave? Did he not care about it? Did he not want to play? That would complicate things a little…

“Instead of speculating, why don’t you go ask him?” He scoffed. You looked at the warden, scandalized.

“You’re an easy person to read, child.” He set a hand on your shoulder. “He might be out in the yard.” You sighed and walked away from the cheering crowd as BamBam pumped his fists triumphantly and Sparkles fell to his knees.

---

You opened the door to the yard, peeking out to see if anyone was there. Lo and behold, there he was, Yancy, sitting on the grass having a smoke. You walked over to where he was and plopped down next to him. He jumped a little, but breathed harshly once he saw it was you.

“Whatcha doin’ out here?” You queried, softly.

“Hm.” He grunted in response.

“Everyone’s inside… having some fun…”

“Hm…”

“I think Jimmy might play Animal Crossing…”

“Hm.”

“Yancy, what’s wrong?” You sighed and turned your body towards him a little.

“Nothin’, nothin’s wrong.” He lied. “C’mon, man, we both know that’s a lie.” You tilted your head to look at him. He avoided your eyes.

“Yancy.” You said sternly. He faltered a little hearing your concern. He glanced at you. Your eyes softened. “What’s wrong?”

“Is just… I never really gots to play games when I was young… and… I dunno… don’t know… how to...” He mumbled. You nodded in understanding, shifting until your shoulders were touching his. You stared at the fence while Yancy kept smoking. You tried not to cough when he exhaled his smoke, but you couldn’t help it. He looked at you apologetically before putting the cigarette out on the grass. You both sat there for a little, enjoying each other’s company. 

“So…” you breathed out after a little while. He turned to you with an eyebrow raised. “You’re upset because you don’t know how to play the games?”

“‘N I’ll look stupid while playing ‘em, yeah.” He finished with a scoff. A smile grew on your face.

“I know a game that’ll be really easy for you…” you sang. He furrowed his eyebrows at you.

“...what is it?” He hesitated. You bit your lip to keep from giggling as he looked at you worriedly.

---

“Wait, so… the hell is Just Dance?” Yancy scratched his head as you led him back to the common room. It was late, and everybody else was back in their cells. You convinced a guard to let you out by pretending you were gonna cry.

“It’s a game where you dance,” You said in a condescending tone. “Come on, Yance, use deductive reasoning.”

“I’on even know what that means,” He argued playfully. You brought him to the small TV, handing him a remote as you turned it on.

“It just… There are songs with dances prepared, and you have to do the dances as you see them on screen. Got it?” You looked up at Yancy, who was busy staring at the glowing screen of the tv. It was on the Wii home menu, so there wasn’t much to see. However, to Yancy, it was one of the coolest things he’d ever seen.

“Whoa whoa whoa, wassat?” He pointed at the screen and jumped a bit when he saw the cursor move as he moved the remote. He shifted it over until it was on the Mii Channel.

“Uh… that’s the place where you can make a little avatar of yourself. It works on some of the games, but not Just Dance.” You explained. “...you wanna make a Mii?” He pouted and gave you puppy dog eyes. You rolled your eyes and stood up, bringing your Player One cursor on the screen and clicking the channel. 

You told Yancy the mechanics, how to change everything, and what to do once he was done. You made your own Mii, explaining everything along the way, and told him to make his once you were done. Yancy, being the creative boy he is, spent half an hour on his Mii, trying to get everything perfect. You just stood next to him, trying not to yawn. Like I said, it was late. Eventually, he finished and you both got to see your Mii’s next to each other, along with some other people’s. He kept dragging his over next to you, trying to force them to interact. He got very upset when you told him they couldn’t hug or anything. He let you exit out of the channel and go into Just Dance. 

“Any particular song?” You scrolled through the songs, letting them play for a couple seconds so he could know what each was like. 

“Stop!” He called. “Go back.” You scrolled back to the last song you let play.

“Britney Spears? Serious?” You teased. It was all in good fun, you loved her too. Who wouldn’t?

He grumbled a little to himself. It sounded a little like “not my fault her songs bop”. You breathed out a chuckle and clicked the song, whisper-singing the lyrics as you did.

“My loneliness is killin’ me… Blue, green, orange, or pink?” You asked. After not getting an answer, you looked at Yancy to see the problem. He was frowning at the screen. “Yance?”

“Why’re they all girls?”

“Because it’s a traditionally girl-ish song.”

“I’m not a girl.”

“I know you’re not. Just pick a color.”

“Why are they cheerleaders?”

“Because they can be. Yancy, pick a color.”

“But why-”

“Yancy I swear to God pick a fucking color.” He hummed and then picked blue. You picked green.

You got into the same stance as the girl on the screen, and Yancy copied you. The music started up, and you started dancing. Yancy seemed a bit startled as he hurried to copy you. He wheezed out a little laugh, flailing his arms a little, trying to figure out what move you were on. You bit your lip to not laugh at him. You both kept going, and Yancy eventually got into the rhythm. He stuck his tongue out in concentration and you stared for a moment, not believing how adorable he was. Then you remembered that there was a winner in this game so you shook your head and kept dancing. 

Eventually the song ended, and you both breathed a little harder than normal. You looked at your scores, and found that you'd won. You clapped your hands and cheered. Yancy crossed his arms.

"Whatever, this is my first time!" He scoffed. But you could see the smile on his face. You stretched your arms and yawned, turning the Wii off and leaving the remote.

"Welp, we should get back--" you turned to head towards your cell.

"No!" Yancy stood in front of you. You tried to go around him, but he kept blocking your way. He grabbed your shoulders and held you in place.

"I want a rematch."

"Yancy, it's late…" you whined.

"Just one more! Please?" He pleaded. He, again, gave you those puppy dog eyes you could never say no to. You sighed loudly, grabbing the remote again and turning the Wii back on.

"I don't understand why you can't do this yourself…" you mumbled, clicking on Just Dance again.

"I… like spending time with you," he said softly. You squinted at him.

"You'd feel awkward dancing alone, huh?"

"Yeah…"

"Fine."

"Ooh! Let's do--"

"Nah, nah, nah. You're keeping me up. I get to pick the song."

"...'This is Halloween'?"

"Bet your ass."

"But that--"

"Shut it, Yancy, I'll leave."

"Okay! Sorry… 

"..."

"...can I be the pumpkin?"

"Of course you can be the pumpkin, babe."

---

You woke up really tired in the morning. You didn't know when you got back to bed, but the guard that let you out was asleep by the door when you arrived. You didn't even consider escaping, you were so tired. You just entered the cell and shut the door behind you.

In the morning, you got up and dragged yourself into the common room again. Everyone was playing the Wii again. You rubbed your eyes and stood next to Tiny.

"Fuck happened to you?" She scoffed.

"Yancy happened…" you yawned

"Ah. Long night, huh?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Ye-no. Wait, what? No, gross. We played Just Dance."

"Oh, was it fun?"

"For the first couple. The rest I was way too tired to be happy about…"

"Aw, did wittle baby need theiw nap?" She teased.

"I'm not wi-little! I'm not-I'm not little! Shut up!" You complained as she laughed.

"Well, Jimmy played Wii tennis against a guard. Now he's playing the warden."

"Seriously? Oh my God."

"He's currently the reigning champion."

"Who's going against him next?" You hear a thud, like someone fell.

"Got-dang it!" Mr. Murder-Slaughter yelled.

“That’d be me,” She patted you on the back before walking up next to Jimmy. Mr. Murder-Slaughter passed her as she walked, limping. He stood by you.

“You seem to be having fun.” You teased.

“Ah, shut it…” He growled and rubbed his arm. “How’s Yancy?” 

“He’s good. He likes the game a lot.” You explained.

“I’d hope so, otherwise there was no reason to buy this thing.” He scoffed.

“Eh… I dunno about that…” You listened to Tiny laugh loudly from where she stood in front and smiled. You turned your head a little and saw Yancy leaning against the opposite wall. You caught each other’s eyes. He nodded his head to the Wii. You shrugged and walked up. He did the same. 

Once Tiny and Jimmy were done with their match, Jimmy keeping his title as champion, you and Yancy walked up to the wii, taking the remotes and clicking Just Dance. 

“What song should we do?” You scrolled through the list.

“Avril Lavigne!” Someone yelled from the back of the room. You had a sneaking suspicion of who it was, but kept it to yourself. 

“Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne it is!” You clicked the song.

“Uh… I don’t know this song, bud,” He whispered to you. You clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh you’re gonna love it.”

“I’m not sure I like that look.”

“Calm down, it’ll be great.”

“Okay… can i be the punk girl?”

“I wanna be the punk girl…”

Cue the puppy eyes…

“...fine, you can be the punk girl.”

[askmerriauthor]

Jedi: Fallen Order thoughts 2/?

Discussion on "Star Wars - Jedi: Fallen Order". First post here, spoilers and lengthy rambling after the jump.

Honestly, I love this box art so much purely for the facts that 1) I made sure to remove that poncho the instant I could because the game's cloth dynamic rendering had it flailing about wildly as if it were trying to attack the universe through sheer defiance of physics in every cutscene. And 2) see that alien dude on the left with a pistol? In-game, he's an utter coward who never once participates in anything remotely resembling violence and sure as hell never wields a gun. It just reminds me of how Kirby is always given angry eyebrows in the US because marketing people are fucking stupid and think players won't be drawn to the game with an abjectly cute mascot.

So! The story.

As mentioned in my previous post, "Fallen Order" basically wants to tell a Found Family tale about a ragtag group of remnants who leave behind their previous lives and forge a new future together. We have our main character Cal Kestis; a former Padawan who survived Order 66 and has been in hiding for a handful of years. Cere Junda; a former Jedi who's cut herself off from The Force, Greez Dritus; a gambling addict pilot with a troubled past he's trying to leave behind, and BD-1; an annoyingly named but utterly lovable Droid who is far and away the best character in the entire damn game. There's also Nightsister Merrin; the presumably last survivor of the Nightsisters and potentially Cal's love interest, but she basically only shows up in the last 10 minutes of the game and doesn't get a lot of screentime despite being presented as a major part of the cast.

The game takes place a handful of years after the purge of the Jedi in Order 66, where both Cal and Cere's core character thrust is tied into. Cal was a child who survived only due to his master sacrificing his life to save him and has been wracked with guilt and PTSD ever since. Cere, on the other hand, unintentionally abandoned her own Padawan and other younglings, directly leading to their death, corruption by the Dark Side, and almost falling to the Dark Side herself. The bulk of the narrative throughout the game is dealing with the relationship these two have with one another, coming to terms with their own trauma, and moving forward from there. Meanwhile, the overall plot itself focuses around finding a Holocron that has a map and list of Force-sensitive children throughout the galaxy, which the gang can use to rebuild the Jedi Order while also keeping it - and thus the children - out of The Empire's hands. The whole series of events culminates in a big showdown between Cere's former Padawan whom she abandoned and became corrupted into an Inquisitor, Cal contending with his own guilt, and the decision on whether or not the gang has the right to interfere with the Force-sensitive children's lives and potentially put them in danger if another purge were to occur.

On paper, it's a solid enough story. The actual execution leaves something to be desired.

Something I absolutely hate in games (which has become frustratingly abundant in recent years) is the illusion of choice. If a player is presented with choosing A, B, or C, that decision should matter. Which path is taken should have impact, consequence, and change the course of the story. If all three routes converge back together at the same outcome regardless of what you picked, then your choice never mattered at all. "Fallen Order' suffers from this. There are fairly sporadic points in the game where you're given the option to choose how Cal will reply to a given conversation, or whether or not to take a certain action, but it doesn't matter at all. The conversation's outcome nor the overall story isn't affected by your choice (or even if you bother to have the conversation at all), and the any time you try to do something other than what the game wants you to do, it'll just reset itself endlessly until you cooperate. You have no choice in the matter, but the game makes it appear as if you do to emulate your involvement.

I absolutely hate this in games. If a game presents you with choices, then your choices should have consequences. Your input should matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a linear, plot-driven game where the player has no direct input on the narrative. If anything, that gives the story even greater opportunities to shine because it allows the writers and directors to be in full control of the presentation, characterization, and story.

At the risk of sounding like a cranky old man, this is very much a "back in my day!" sort of situation where older games wouldn't shy away from simply locking a player out of content if they chose a certain path. If you pick A, you don't get to see what happens down B or C. If you want to join the Jets, you don't get to join the Sharks. If you want to see what lies down those other routes, then replay the game and make different decisions. Sometimes it was a specific design choice, other times it was a way to handle hardware/programming restrictions. But there's a big notion these days in particular where there's a desire to make sure the player sees all the game's content up front. I anecdotally chalk it up to an increase in non-gamers entering into video game development at management level and making design decisions they're not qualified for, but that's just my own take. Like, I understand the thought process behind it. "We have all this content, so we want to make it a selling point and ensure the player gets to see all of it! If they play our game and miss a bunch of stuff, they might bitch at us and cause reviews". I get it, I do. But it's also bullshit because it directly harms the final product. If a game is good, players will replay it ad nauseum for ages beyond release. So they're going to see all the content one way or another. When the "we have to let the player access all content up front" mind set is in effect, it means the player's choices ultimately don't matter and the resulting abundance of content is quantity rather than quality.

In the case of "Fallen Order", your choices don't matter one bit and it's not even out of a case of accessing content. For some reason the developers put in this vestigial, pointless façade of a dialogue tree and choice system when the game frankly would've been far stronger if it had just been left out entirely. Developers have to invest one way or another. Either make it a fully narrative-driven game and tell a solid story, or make it a player-driven game and put in the effort to make the player's choices matter. Especially in a Star Wars game, as RPGs in this franchise have historically have Light/Dark Side choices, character deaths, and alternate endings based on your decisions. A big part of "Fallen Order"'s story is characters contending with the risk of falling to the Dark Side because of their trauma, but the game itself never actually gives the player any chance to explore that at all. It's a huge missed opportunity either way.

I think that's where a lot of the story's trouble comes from in the end. It's a lot of build up on a good idea that fizzles out and goes nowhere. Cal spends the entire game getting to a point where he's ready to move on, and then the game ends. Cere comes to terms with her past mistakes and tries to redeem her fallen Padawan, only for said fallen Padawan to be killed abruptly and completely cut off that entire story thread. Greez's past coming back to haunt him is shoe-horned in randomly and never goes anywhere. Merrin doesn't have enough time on screen to matter. There are three major villains throughout the game who are just cast aside casually and with no lingering impact for ever having been there. The biggest final boss, who has been the core antagonist and a major point of emotional conflict for the entire game, is discarded with no resolution because this is a Star Wars game and we just can't have one that doesn't feature Darth Vader sweeping in to steal the spotlight.

It's just... ugh. There's potential here. There's obvious, glowing moments of potential where things could've been developed into something really impressive if they were just given the opportunity. It feels like a huge waste and the end result is just a "meh" game that doesn't go anywhere, doesn't contribute to the setting, and could very easily be dismissed entirely from the franchise with absolutely no impact.

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH.7

DISCLAIMER: Anything said about the Warrens in this work of fiction is not fact and more of an opinion. Not a skeptic just not a fan of their protocols and practices. I am not accusing the Warrens of anything in this work nor am I stating to know what actually happened in any of their cases. If you want to form your own opinion the podcast And That's Why We Drink has done multiple segments on their case files and given multiple reasoning for certain aspect of the cases.

If you didn't care that's fine I'm just trying not to get a defamation case.

Finding yourself lost to the humdrum of another by gone weekend and in the midst of a dull Monday morning is where most people start praying for some excitement. But when the excitement is debating the possibility of a stalker, you'd gladly take another lack luster week than deal with this bullshit.

And debating the possibility is the wrong thing to say. It's more accurate to say you've been contemplating what the proper steps to take in this situation are. Going to the police, or rather the Sheriff, is out because of how fucking useless they are when there's not a suspect present or Blue's Clue style trails for them to follow like breadcrumbs.

While David's surprising reappearance does stick out, you have no evidence to pin this to him. Then with all your knowledge on true crime and the likely hood of suspects it tends to be the first one who you've encountered in the stories. And that would point to Tim since you met him right before these shenanigans started but you were with him last night at the mini mart and even lost those fifty minutes together. So, there's no possible way Tim broke into your home and placed a book on your coffee table.

Then there's the issue of the book. You noticed it missing instantly because Toby had taken something from its shelf that you then went to put back. But it gets placed on your coffee table after you left, but not after you left the first time to take Toby home. Which was before you'd even notice the book gone. They were watching you, and knew you saw the book missing. You had to figure out how they were watching you. In case it was cameras you had changed in the dark of your closet today. And thankfully you've had practice showering in the dark before.

You really need more proof that you are being stalked and soon. The sooner you get that the sooner you can involve Big Jo. You'd thought on this all of yesterday on what you'd do and who you'd ask for help and the Cowells seem like your best bet in terms of stopping the stalker. Though that's only after you have proof. While Big Jo will help you out in a heartbeat you know it's more of a save his own skin down the line type of help and not out of the kindness of his heart, without proof he'd only humor you for a little bit. Not to mention if the stalker knows you're on to them at this point they could stop making it obvious, they'd get stricter with themselves, leave less evidence of their presence behind. Meaning it'd take longer to to get proof to catch them and even longer for you to feel comfortable.

Which is why you shoved away the idea of couch surfing until this blows over. If they were watching you at your house what would stop them from following you somewhere else. And if that happened and your friends got targeted or hurt you don't know how you'd live with yourself knowing you brought that to them. Or the other alternative of the stalker psychologically fucking with you and making you look crazy to your support system in this town before ultimately taking you down.

An even bigger reason as to why you suspect David. He'd been the first to start talking about Bambi's “wanderlust” before she disappeared. She'd laugh it off when people commented on it, but never really made mention of wanting to leave. He got it into everyone's heads that she wanted to get out of Kepler. To travel yeah, but she loved this town, she said it was home, she'd never leave without saying something.

When you came into town she'd been your first friend in years. You'll be the first to admit that you latched on to her but she quickly got you out making more friends with the residents. And even when you started hanging out with Hollis, Jake, and Kirby off planning events and deep diving for obscure movies for Saturday Night Dead she'd still talk with you everyday while she worked.

You really miss her.

Even if it wasn't David behind this, if this stalker was the person behind whatever happened to Bambi, you'd catch them. Not for peace of mind but so she'd have justice. It's what she deserves.

“uugggggggggh” you're pulling out your hair as you lay face down on the counter.

“I've never read The Book Thief but I didn't think it was supposed to be a frustrating book.” Nate says as he stops his dusting of the shelves.

You'd been “reading” the book your stalker left for you to find. Hoping you'd find a clue somewhere within it's pages to point to a suspect. But you've combed every page and not even the slightest mark had been left.

“Sorry I...I just have a lot of thoughts right now.” You say looking up through your arms that are now draped over your head.

“Want to talk?”

“Not now.”

The concern and uncertainty behind his gray eyes gives away his skepticism.

“Well, I'm here if you need.” a gentle reminder.

“I know and I appreciate it!”

Nate returns to his cleaning, sometimes it's like he was programmed to be productive. Most times actually. And you turn back to your book, having found no clues you decide to actually read through it. After all it is one of your favorites and maybe it will serve as a distraction from this whole mess. Help you calm down some.

An hour into your reading you're so engrossed in the story you hardly notice when the bell rings signaling the entry of a customer. If it wasn't for Nate calling out you'd have missed them completely.

“Hey welcome to Book & Nook.” the sound of his voice bombing through the quiet store front, startling you.

You look up at the right moment to catch sight of a furry black and brown rear going down an isle. Connor! Oh wait don't get too excited he has to be on duty to be here.

Now knowing that Brian has a need for the service dog too, you decide to wait and see who has Connor today. If it's Toby you could have a nice chat but if it's Brian you could be polite. Maybe thank him for helping with your episode the other night. Discretely of course, Nate would worry if he knew you had a panic attack. He'd probably assume it was due to the stress of the previous week and might force you to take some time to yourself. And that's the last thing you'd need if you were being stalked.

You really need to come up with an action plan. Keeping in mind that the stalker may not leave clues or escalate for a while it's probably best if you start getting active around town. Planting your roots deep and saying “hey I'm not going anywhere willingly”, but like subtly, y'know. Maybe start making habits about obsessively getting receipts even for packs of gum so if the last person who sees you is a cashier maybe they'd remember the strange interaction and might be able to help police find your body quicker.

God why does this all have to be so frustrating? And why you? Who stalks the mentally ill person who does nothing put listen to horror podcast and watch paranormal and true crime shows? Do they want to be harmed? Do they want to get caught. Oh for fuck's sake, that's another rabbit hole of possibilities.

You could've ignored the chime of the bell, but you most certainly couldn't ignore the boisterous voice that rang through the store. A welcomed distraction from your current mental struggle.

“What's up bros and non binary hoes?” Jake walks through the store like he owns the place, carrying a picnic basket over to the counter. As much of a Chad move it is Jake's a really nice guy he just has too much natural swagger in everything he does. It's probably the snow boarding showman in him.

“Jakey!” A very much welcomed distraction. Jake can always cheer you up with his “rad” antics and laissez faire attitude.

“What are you doing here?” while some of the stunt crew occasionally comes in for a book or to chat with you during your shift. Jake's never been one of them. You want to make the joke that the guy never learned to read but you've seen him actually read the manual that came with the new heater they got installed at the lodge. More of a practical reader than a for funsies reader.

“Sup YN, came to show you the picnic set ups that got in.” he places the basket on the counter and his hands give a jazzy effect for emphasis. What a dork.

“You missed the reveal at Saturday Night Dead, so I thought I'd stop by and let you see the final product before we finalize everything next week. After all 'Pride Picnic' was your idea, makes since that you should get the final say.”

With all the excitement of the past week you'd forgotten that it was already June. And you all had been planning a picnic for pride instead of a parade this year. So, and to quote yourself here, “Even the quiet queers can celebrate.” You guys had been planning this practically since you met. Seeing as you'd pretty much solidified a spot in Kepler's LGBTQIA+ community and planning committee. Really it was just the usual suspects for Saturday Night Dead; The Hornets, Hollis, Jake, and Kirby. But The Hornets, Hollis, and Jake were the extroverted types so when you mentioned a picnic to include the introverts or even the closeted of the community Kirby jumped at the idea before they could argue. Which they hadn't, everyone had been psyched for a change of event and for something that was more of a big block party than a traffic jam for the small town.

“Well?” you ask with anticipation nearly killing you.

Jake can't help his excited huffed laughter, kind of sounds like the 'boof' of a dog. And in one grand motion he opens the wicker basket revealing the lovely Pride set. It was a typical eight person set including stackable cups, forks, spoons, knives, flatware, and even bowls. One of item of each was assigned a color, going through the rainbow from pink all the way down to violet. It'd been a bit of a battle for Hollis to get the manufacturer to include pink and violet for some reason but they'd managed to persuade them enough. Probably pulled the influencer card and the company's marketing team caved instantly. But it got done, so yay to sell outs. One thing that'd been unanimously agreed on was having the modern flag incorporated. Which when you pulled out the thick durable blanket, was a vision that you couldn't have ever dreamed up. It wasn't a flimsy cover that was so thin that you could see through, but it wasn't the rough texture that most thicker blankets tend to have. And it was ginormous. But then again the basket was supposed to fit eight people per. Meaning the blankets would have to be eight person as well.

“Dude it's perfect.” you really didn't need to say anything, Jake could see your excitement from the stimming sway you were currently doing. But you took no notice of your stim as you stared in aww at the basket before you.

“Are non committee members allowed to see?” Why even ask when you're already craning your neck for a peak.

You and Jake share a look before rolling your eyes and waving Nate on over to inspect the Pride Picnic box.

“Woah you guys did great on this.” Nate says as he undoes the wrap around the cups to give one a tap. When it gives the tap tap that only ceramics make he nods in approval at the quality.

“Hollis was the lesion with the manufacturer so it was in our favor from the start.” Jake responds, not only were these baskets ordered at a heavily discounted rate due to bulk buying but add on the influencer discount and yea it pays to be an extreme sports streamer. So the man was allowed to be proud of his partner.

“Blankets don't leave a lot of room for food though.” you note with a pout.

“Yea we noticed that Saturday too,” you may have been pouting but Jake looks like a whole kicked puppy. “But we have an idea for that...at least for the picnic.” wow human labradors bounce back fast.

“Everyone brainstormed and we thought doing like a potluck style picnic for sides and deserts, then Barclay said he'd take care of main dishes.” That did sound like a good idea but with the turn out you were expecting you weren't sure. Especially with the time frame being two weeks. It's such short notice.

“Jakey, we're talking like block party amount of people, maybe like half the town max here...won't that be too much for him?” He'd already donated so much for you to even be able to order all these baskets since this wasn't a city sanctioned event. Sure everyone in the committee chipped in for a basket each or in some cases splitting one, but the majority of funds came from Barclay even if he said it'd be a donation from the lodge to add catering to his plate it was all too much.

“He'll be fine, he offered. And you haven't seen the lodge in the winter. Barc's used to it.” despite his confidence in the mountain of a cook, you think you'd stop by the lodge this week and offer a hand.

Nate and Jake get side tracked on discussing the details of the picnic while you struggle to fold the huge blanket. Having to step outside of the counter to get better leverage. When two large hands come from either side of the blanket and stretch it more. Jumping back from the blanket like it burned you. Amused hazel eyes meet yours as the blanket lowers until you can make out Brian's grinning face, your pretty sure that's the most genuine look he's had.

“Sorry, looked like you needed some help.” he's still grinning and while it isn't mean spirited, the lack of any sheepishness let's you know he's not really sorry. He'd been trying to at least give you a little scare, the fuck boy.

“Hey...ya thanks.” you say making to grab the bottom of the blanket and lift it up.

The two of you fold the blanket back up in no time with a weird synchronization for two people who never said a word. You just followed his lead and in no time the blanket was placed on the counter by Brian. Nate and Jake lost in conversation on the other side of the store, from what you can hear Nate's telling Jake about the faucet in the backroom that won't stop leaking and Jake offered to help.

“Mind if I have a look?” cocking his head towards the basket.

“Oh go ahead.” You don't see any harm in letting him have a look, if he was a homophobic dick who'd trash the box it wouldn't make sense that he gave you a ride. Or help you fold a pride flag picnic blanket up.

Thinking back on it he knew a proper gender neutral substitute. Even if he wasn't an ally in the sense of actively participating with the queer community he was in the sense of his awareness and knowledge. You've already extended an offer to Tim maybe Brian would appreciate one too.

“We'll be having a Pride Picnic this year in place of a Parade. Anyone for it is welcome to come.”

“Yea I think I heard talk of a potluck, right?”

“mmhmm” just as you go to nod your tic kicks in and your neck snaps left then right, “Barclay, he runs the Amnesty Lodge, he'll be cooking the main dishes. From what I hear we'll have most dietary restrictions covered.” Brian's brow furrows a bit as he tilts his head to look at you, before he straightens it back.

“That's right you haven't been here long.” he says it stoically and more to himself.

A comment like that should send your mind racing with thoughts of you stalker, but Toby could've just as easily mentioned it. Brian seems lost in thought after this and you take the time to look elsewhere, and see Connor who's sitting at Brian's side staring up at him.

Mindlessly you start to push your thumb into your palm with the other fingers on that hand rhythmically. Brian has Connor, and Toby said it was for seizures. Is it rude to ask how he's doing right now? You two have only spoken once, sure he helped get you to work and home but you'd argue that Toby did most of the work in both those cases. Not to mention you'd had breakfast with Toby and got to actually have a conversation and learn about him. You'd maybe said seven sentences to Brian since meeting him. It would definitely be weird to ask if he was ok.

“You ok there su- YN?” you note he did correct himself from calling you 'sugar'.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts you look up confused at him.

“Uh...yea why?”

“Your hand.”

Looking to see what he's talking about you see you've just been pressing your thumb into your palm fingers dancing along in a rhythm you've long since forgotten the origin of. Cracking you thumb a few times and flexing your fingers you look back to Brian.

“Sorry just thinking, that happens sometimes.” you interrupt the silence before it has a chance to settle, “So...yea...everyone's welcome to the Picnic. Dogs too on or off duty. It's next Sunday just show up to Amnesty Lodge at like ten thirty in the morning and then everyone's hiking on over to the Archway. It's a great clearing and big enough to hold everyone.”

“I'll talk ta the boys 'n see what they think.”

“Ok cool cool, and when I said next Sunday I did mean next Sunday,”

“And not this one, gotcha.” You give him a smile which he returns.

Maybe this fuck boy look a like wasn't so bad...or he was just used to Toby's masked expressions. Still too soon to tell, he might still turn out to be a fuck boy in personality too.

“Do I check out here or...” you've only just noticed the four books on the counter.

“Oh yeah sure thing.”

Once you're behind the counter you have a clear view of the books that Brian's brought over Ghost an American History of Haunted Locations, Bell Dame, Deer from Hunt to Table, and lastly the first book in the Magnus Chase series. Odd collection but you yourself would read three out of four of them so you really can't say much.

“Oh have you read Percy Jackson or the Kane Chronicles?” making small talk isn't your strong suit but if you can find a fellow Riordan fan you'll make the attempt.

“What? Oh, oh nah, these are for Toby. He's working right now but wanted me to pick some new books up for him.” you make a note to try to talk to Toby about the series in the future. If he is a Riordan fan you can't wait for him to get to the Trials of Apollo series. “But 'e's read Percy Jackson, so is this next?”

This man has no idea the can of worms he just unleashed upon himself.

“No. Now has he read just the Percy Jackson series, or has he also read The Heroes of Olympus books?” He stares blankly at you.

“He's read whatever Percy Jackson was in the title of.”

“Ok, c'mon.” swiping Magnus Chase from the counter you make your way to the fiction YA section. Placing the book on the empty spot it came from you glance the shelves before finding The Lost Hero.

“This would be next, there are five in this series,” you pass the book off to Brian so you can point back to the shelf, “Then he'll have the Kane Chronicles, Magnus Chase, and Trials of Apollo series to look forward to. Book counts in each are three, three, and five.”

“So....Heroes of Olympus,” you nod at his pause, “five books in the series, Kane Chronicles three, Magnus Chase three, and Trials of Apollo five. Got it.”

“If you need help grabbing the next title just get me I've got it memorized from how obsessed with the Riordaverse I am.”

“Big reader?” he asks with a smirk.

“Not at all, just a found a good writer. Toby would probably like Neil Gaiman's work too. Maybe Diana Wynne Jones.”

“I've tried to get 'im to read American Gods but he just won't have it.” well this is awkward.

“I was thinking more Good Omens and Coraline.” Yea so this is a silence. Best make haste. To the counter!

Checking Brian out for the proper next book in the series, plus those other three, you forego the attempt at small talk. However, this is Kepler and you live in the radio quiet zone...the dial up internet doesn't make this a fast check out on your electronic register.

You remember two of the other books had been paranormal, might be worth a shot to bring up Saturday Night Dead in an attempt to stall for the register.

“Did Tim let you guys know about Saturday Night Dead over at the Cryptonomica?”

“Yea, somethin' bout cheesy horror movies right?”

“mmhmm, normally they're the good kind of bad but this week kick starts months of horribly awful kind.” the computer has finally loaded.

“Jeez YN do you want people to come to the show or not.” Jake's laughing so he can't be angry that you're insulting the upcoming movie list.

Scanning the books through you don't look up when you state, “I just have the personal opinion that you shouldn't prey upon low income families and sell their nightmares for profit then run.” you do look up after bagging the books to say, “Allegedly. And your total's thrity-five o'seven.”

“What's the movie?” Brian inserts his card into the chip reader.

“Insidious.” you and Jake said it at the same time, but in two totally different tones.

“Not a fan huh?” smirking bastard, he is a fuck boy you decide.

“The movie's fine, the case file and the people who inspired it are not.”

Brian's removed his card and opens his mouth, probably to egg you on even more when Jake throws in his two cents.

“Yeah yeah YN. Hollis told me all about the powerpoint. How 'bout we save this rage for Saturday. It's only a couple weeks.”

“Jake....there are at least 10 Amityville movies.” That shakes his mood.

“...what?”

“There are three Annebelles, Conjuring, and Insidious movies. Don't forget The Nun, La Llorona, The Haunting in Connecticut, and by the time we finish all those, there could be another Nun movie or The Crooked Man will have come out.” it's so matter of fact and you dare any of them to challenge you on this. Sad thing is you aren't even sure if those make up all the case file movies. But you do know it's a majority of them.

“For someone who hates these people, you sure know their movies.” Nate calls from his stool as he resumes dusting. God damn him and his uncle ways.

“Nah I get it, lay all the facts out so it's easier to see the lies and deceptions.” Brian supplies the other two men. Reaching out for his receipt he smiles down at you...a bit more genuine you note. Like the one you saw earlier. You are on a roll with this guy.

Like a Vespa it hits you. The reason Brian seems so familiar and so frustrating. The reason he gets under your skin with just a look. You should have caught on sooner but you'd paid so much attention, or not enough attention, to everything around you both. Looking at his face you hand him the receipt. It isn't real. He isn't really him. He'd been lying. No not lying, acting.

Just as he crosses the threshold you call out, “Your mask is really fucking irritating!”

Through the windows you see him pause as your words catch up with him, and you watch as he turns to make eye contact with you. He smiles again, and it's a nasty thing. A twisted smile mixed with...not ill intent but definitely not a friendly grin. His hazel eyes have a lively gleam in them. And you understand what that smile means.

The game is so on. Fuck boy.