#reason why he's done it and isn't meant to excuse it at all as that would be pretty screwed up but i shall tag this post accordingly even

[mad-hunts]

so, i'm gonna give y'all a warning for this post immediately because i have yet to talk about this on here besides with one or two people, and the last thing i want to do is make anyone uncomfortable... but if you believe that cannibalism is a trigger for you then please do not continue beyond this point. for those of you who are okay with it, though, let me start by saying this:

barton does engage in cannibalistic acts sometimes, and this is actually one of the few, if not the only sources of shame that he feels in response to the heinous acts that he commits pretty much on the daily. and this is because he believes himself that it is disgusting and not something to be proud of; so, in a way, it does kind of demonstrate that he has some humanity left in him albeit in a very unsavory way and that's mainly why i wanted to bring it up. because his relationship with this part of him... well, it really isn't good, for lack of better words. which is understandable considering cannibalism is a rather big taboo in society, but it has become somewhat of a compulsion for him. not to excuse it in ANY capacity, of course. that is honestly just the best word i could use to describe it as i've done some research about it and, like other serial killers, barton is SO perpetually lonely that by consuming his victims -- it makes him feel like he is no longer so alone anymore as he will always be able to 'carry' a part of them with him that way, so-to-speak, and they'll never be able to leave him.

now this is obviously not the way to go about dealing with his loneliness at all, as it is extremely messed up both morally and honestly, just wrong as a human being to do. but i also believe that there are other factors at work regarding his tendency to sometimes cannibalize his victims, and that is that because of the trauma he endured at the hands of his biological father (wesley mathis) whom forced him to eat people with him. it could sort of function as a very unhealthy coping mechanism for him to navigate that complex trauma; and this is because it may serve as an attempt for him to restore a sense of control over himself that he felt was stolen from him as a child, since he had no choice but to engage in it. plus, interestingly enough, antisocial personality traits are often an underlying element in those who divulge in cannibalistic acts. and cannibals in one study have been found to have more cases of abuse / have more family members who are criminals, so this could also be indicative that his environmental upbringing very well could have a hand in his subsequent (occasional) cannibalism after he commits his killings.

i also thought i would mention that, despite his apparent depravity, barton has taken extra care not to expose his own children to the same trauma that he had to suffer from as a result of wesley (what with the 'hunting trips' that they went on) and he would NEVER want his kids to see him eating people. so, although it still is unquestionably wrong for him to be cannibalizing people, things are a little complicated in that regard. while i'm talking about it, for my closing thought, i'd like to say that the police does highly suspect that the dollmaker is a cannibal but they haven't been able to confirm it as of yet. though i'd imagine that most of the underground knows that he cannibalizes people because rumors can be spread quite quickly, and i can totally imagine the way in which people found out being that they were unfortunate enough to have to stumble upon barton just... eating someone. and a lot more casually than one should probably be about it, because half of the time, he doesn't even remember that he's done it afterward because his mind literally just blocks it out. but that's something i shall expand on more later

[sematarygirls]

      BOYFRIEND!RAFE x DEPRESSED!READER

WARNINGS .ᐟ depression, rafe gives reader a bath, but it's not sexual, fluff, the teeniest bit of angst if you squint at the beginning

NOTES .ᐟ this isn't my best work, but i'm writing it more for comfort than anything else, and i wanted to post it just in case anyone out there is also struggling and could use it <3

Something was up, and Rafe could tell. You were usually so clingy, wanting to spend every moment with him, and he was not complaining by any means. He loved having his girl at his side, showing her off at every occasion, but it had been almost two weeks since he last saw you, which was so very out of the ordinary.

You would answer his texts at first, always coming up with some excuse for why you couldn't see him. First, you were sick. He offered to come over and take care of you, but you'd insisted that you didn't want him to catch whatever you had, so he eventually acquiesced and settled on checking in on you periodically.

But then, your responses slowly became more and more infrequent. Rafe was at a loss. Had he done something to upset you? Why were you being so cold and distant? He couldn't think of any fights you two had recently. Everything seemed perfect until you started pulling away out of the blue.

He texted you to tell you he was coming over, but you hadn't seen it by the time he showed up at your house, all but pounding on the door. He was a little angry, very annoyed, and more than a bit jealous. Were you with some other guy in there? Is that why you hadn't been answering him.

Those feelings immediately dissipated, however, when the door slowly creaked open and you peeked out. Your hair was tangled and greasy, haphazardly thrown up and out of the way. You had dark circles under your eyes and a small frown on your face, your brows pinching when you saw him.

His expression softened as he softly murmured your name. You stepped back, allowing him inside, and he shut the door behind him, his eyes never leaving your disheveled form. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked gently, approaching you like he would a skiddish animal.

"You shouldn't have come," you said quietly, your gaze downcast. You were embarrassed that he was seeing you like this. The whole reason you'd been avoiding him was so he wouldn't see this part of you—the part that struggled to get out of bed whenever a major depressive episode hit.

He ignored your words, stepping closer and tilting your chin up, so he could look at you. "Talk to me, sweetheart," he coaxed softly. "Is this why you've been dodging my calls and texts?"

You nodded slowly, feeling guilty. You hadn't meant to ignore him, but texting people had become a chore as of late. You couldn't bring yourself to do it, to have to explain why you were acting so off. You just wanted to shut out the world and wallow in your misery.

He sighed, his thumbs coming up to caress your cheeks gently. He hated seeing you like this. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to take away all your sorrow and make you happy again. "Why didn't you tell me, baby?"

"I just- I didn't want you to see me like this," you said softly. "I look like shit. It's gross and pathetic..."

"Hey, don't say that shit about yourself, alright?" he said firmly. "You're beautiful, always, and you're not pathetic. You're going through a hard time and that's okay. I'm here for you, baby."

You looked up at him, your eyes glistening with unshed tears at his words. He was so gentle, so understanding and patient. He was perfect, and you were... you.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I'm gonna run you a warm bath, okay? Gonna wash your hair and get you all cleaned up."

"You don't have to do that," you said quietly. You didn't want to be a burden, for him to feel like he had to take care of you just because you were dating.

"I know that, but I want to, alright? Just-Just let me take care of you, yeah?" He stared at you expectantly, waiting until you gave him a reluctant nod before he took your hand and pulled you toward the bathroom. "Sit," he ordered, pointing to the lowered toilet seat.

You complied, sitting and watching him as he turned the water on, testing the temperature with his hand and adjusting it until it was just the way he knew you liked it before he flipped the drain stopper. He poured in some of your favorite scented bubble bath, waiting for the water to fill the tub.

He turned back to you, kneeling down to take your hands in his. "Okay baby, let's get you undressed and in the tub, yeah? I'll wash your hair for you."

You chewed your lip nervously, looking at him with uncertainty. You were hardly in any shape to be perceived by anyone, let alone your perfect boyfriend. You couldnt remember the last time you shaved your body or did any personal grooming for that matter. You'd just been so physically and mentally drained as of late.

He cupped your cheek, gently using his thumb to pull your lower lip from your teeth. He hated when you did that, always saying you were ruining your pretty lips. "You're always gorgeous to me," he reassured you. "I don't care what you look like. Right now, I just wanna take care of my girl, alright?"

You hesitated but nodded. "Okay," you said softly. You knew he was just trying to help, and you also knew you desperately needed your hair washed before it reached the point of no return. You'd hated how bad you'd let it get, but you couldn't bring yourself to even attempt the attention and effort that detangling and washing would entail.

With careful movements, Rafe helped ease your shirt over your head, revealing your bare skin to his gaze. His expression was non judgemental, his touch reverent as he helped you out of your clothes. "You're doing so good, baby," he murmured, his words soothing the nerves that were bubbling in your stomach. "In you go," he said, once you were finally out of your dirty clothes.

You stepped into the warm bath, the hot water and calming smell helping you relax a fraction. You pulled your knees to your chest with a soft sigh. You were so sensitive and vulnerable in that moment, and Rafe's kindness made your chest tighten and your eyes mist.

He smiled softly at you, the picture of a loyal, caring boyfriend. He would do anything for you. "There you go, sweetheart. Gonna feel so much better after a nice long bath." He knelt beside the tub, running his hand over your hunched back soothingly for a few moments.

He let you get adjusted and relaxed before reaching for your hair tie, gently pulling it out and revealing your tangled hair. You closed your eyes, waiting for some remark about how you need to take better care of yourself or how your hair was a mess, but it never came. "Alright baby, let's get this pretty hair washed for you," was all he said, his tone soft and comforting. "Can you lean back for me?"

You nodded, unfurling yourself from your curled up position and leaning back, letting your hair soak up the water. "There you go," he murmured, making sure your hair was thoroughly wetted before helping you sit back up straight. He reached for the conditioner, coating your hair in an ungodly amount and running it through the strands as best he could to help soften your hair and make it easier to detangle before grabbing a wide tooth comb. "This might hurt a little, baby. I'm sorry, but you'll feel so much better when we're all done."

He worked meticulously, starting at the ends and slowly, carefully working out each knot and tangle, murmuring soft apologies whenever he hit a bad one that tugged at your scalp. He had experience with this kind of thing, having helped Wheezie with her hair a lot when she was a kid. He was so gentle and patient, making sure he didn't pull too hard.

It made you grateful because if you were doing this yourself, you already knew you would've gotten frustrated and started practically ripping your hair out as you roughly yanked the comb through your hair until you were in tears.

The fact that he regarded you with a tenderness and compassion you didn't even award yourself made your heart swell with love, but it also made guilt tug at you. This was the man that you'd been ignoring—this man that was so attentive and loved you so much.

"You're doing so good, baby. I know it hurts, but you're being so brave for me. I'm so proud of you," he said gently, continuing to work through your hair. He didn't show any signs that he was getting frustrated or annoyed, he just continued to hold himself with pure adoration and care for you.

His sweet words made tears well up in your eyes. You didn't understand how you could ever deserve someone like him, someone who loved you completely and unconditionally. His words of assurance were something you'd desperately needed to hear after weeks of listening to your own brain demean and demoralize you.

"There we go, sweetheart. All done. You did so well," he praised you gently as he finally finished up, running the comb through the last of the tangles. He helped you lean back, rinsing the conditioner. He made sure to get all the excess product out before helping you sit back up, reaching for the shampoo bottle.

He squirted a generous amount onto his palm, lathering it in his hands and applying it into your scalp. He washed it out and applied more until it started to froth up, signaling that your hair was finally getting clean.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly as he worked the shampoo into your hair, his fingers massaging your scalp in slow, soothing circles. You felt guilty for a lot of things, for ignoring him, for making him spend his time on you like this, for being this way in the first place. Your brain had convinced you that you were a burden on everyone around you, and you hated the thought of Rafe having to put up with you when he could have any other normal girl.

His hands stilled in your hair, and he tiled your head so you were looking at him. His expression was serious, deadly so, and for a moment, you thought he was mad at you. "Don't. Don't you ever apologize, okay? You've got absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You understand me?"

You nodded, his words and actions meaning more to you than he could ever know. He always knew what to say, what to do to make you feel better. He made you feel important and loved, and you needed that, especially right now. "Thank you."

His gaze softened, a gentle smile spreading across his handsome features. "You don't need to thank me, baby. Caring for you is the easiest thing in the world. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes—so beautiful, inside and out."

After throughly massaging your scalp, he washed out the shampoo, applying a final layer of conditioner to ensure your hair stayed soft and retained moisture. "Do you wanna wash your body, or do you want me to?" He asked gently. He wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible, and if you would be too embarrassed with him touching you like that, he respected it.

"I can- um- I can do it," you said quietly. He had already done so much for you already, and as much as you loved being doted on and cared for, it didn't erase the nerves and insecurity that were swirling through your mind.

"Okay, sweetheart. Take your time. I'm right here if you need anything at all," he reassured you. You washed up and rinsed the conditioner out of your hair, the water uncomfortably cold by the time you were done since detangling had taken forever.

Rafe was ready with a towel by the time you were finished. "Come on, baby, let's get you out. You're probably freezing," he said, helping you up and wrapping the towel around you, rubbing the material against your skin to help warm you up before grabbing a separate towel to help you dry off your hair.

You let him take care of you, drying you off before steering you to your bedroom to get dressed. He knew your drawer set up by heart, having helped you put your clean clothes away more than once. "You really don't have to do all that," you mumbled, watching him carefully choose some comfortable, clean clothes for you.

"I already told you that I want to," he said firmly, plucking out your favorite pajamas. "Now, we're gonna get you dressed and settle in on the couch because we gotta get you out of this bed. It's not good for you to stay in it all day," he told you, helping you into your clean clothes. You felt a little silly being assisted getting dressed and undressed, but you were so appreciative that he cared enough about you to help you like this.

"Sorry for the... mess," you said, wincing as you glanced around at your dirty room. It looked like a disaster area, and you only just now seemed to clock how bad it was.

"I already told you to quit apologizing," he gently scolded you. "We can clean it up later, together, but right now, we're going to go watch some TV and get some food in you, okay?"

You nodded, mustering a small smile. "I love you, Rafe," you said, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest.

"I love you too, baby, so so much," he murmured. His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him as he rested his chin on the top of your head. You inhaled his scent, a smell that was distinctly his and always seemed to calm and relax you, his tight grip on you serving to ground you in that moment, reminding you that there are people who cherish you even in your darkest days.

tags .ᐟ   @starkeysprincess / @cometmultiverse / @iheartjjmaybnk / @all4l0vee / @kissesfrmriri / @xoxohoneymoongirl / @bradshawed / @fallbhind / @rafeslittleangel / @bakugouswaif

[slayfics]

You tend to Katsuki.

1k words

You sat in the common room of the dorms making yourself busy at one of the tables studying. Absentmindedly you turned the pages of your book and scanned the materials, not actually digesting any of the information.

Secretly, you weren't concerned with studying. Your actual reason for hanging around the common room was to wait for Katsuki to come back. It was Saturday, which meant he was with Shoto at their supplemental classes to make up for not passing the provisional licensing exam.

Finally, after what seemed like too long, Katsuki came bursting through the door. An annoyed expression on his face as he turned to yell some obscenities back at Shoto.

Shoto followed him through the front door and Katsuki turned sharply away from him. It was apparent that Katsuki was eager to get away from the two-toned-haired boy.

Katsuki glanced over at you briefly but kept making his way through the common room. His cheek had a large bandage that was already turning crimson from whatever wound was on the other side.

You watched as the two boys split ways, Shoto made his way over to talk to Hanta and Katsuki vanished into the elevators to go up to his room.

You waited a moment before texting Katsuki.

[You]: That looks like a nasty cut. What happened?

[Katsuki]: I hate texting. Just come up.

You happily shut your book and rushed over to his dorm.

Knocking gently, you heard Katsuki's irritated yell on the other side, "Told ya already- just come in."

You opened the door and were met with the sight of him putting away the belongings he brought to the extra classes today. The bandage on his cheek being in better view, you could see that it was in desperate need of being tended to.

"That looks even worse up close," You stated.

"Tch- It's not even a big deal," he replied, downplaying the injury.

"How did it happen?" You asked.

Katsuki grunted as he finished putting away his stuff and sat down on the edge of his bed, "Some dumb ass training where we couldn't use our quirks. What the fuck is the point of that?!" He said irritated.

"Sounds like your worst nightmare," you laughed trying to lighten his mood. You fixated your eyes back on the bandage and the blood stain that now soaked through. "Why don't you let me change that for you?" You offered.

"HAH? I can do that myself idiot," he said being stubborn.

"I know you can but- I need practice. Tending to wounds is a part of hero work too, right? So- let me practice on you," you suggested, hoping that excuse would change his mind.

Katsuki thought for a moment before shrugging his shoulders in agreement, "First aid is in the bathroom cabinet," he said gesturing to the bathroom.

You rummaged through his cabinet to find another bandage and antiseptic ointment. "I don't think I've ever done this for someone else before," you stated as you came back into the room and sat next to him on the bed.

"It isn't hard," Katsuki huffed. Resting his elbows on his thighs as he kept his gaze straight forward giving you better access to his cheek.

You scooted closer and crossed your legs onto the bed to tend to his wound. "These classes have really been a pain for you, hu?" You asked, gently peeling away the soiled badge on his cheek.

Katsuki clicked his tongue annoyed by your comment, "It's nothing I can't handle!" He barked, eyebrows furrowed, and nose scrunched.

You giggled at his response, "Such a tough guy," you teased and squeezed some of the antiseptic ointment onto your finger. "You know- it can be both things. Something you can handle and a pain at the same time."

Katsuki opened his mouth ready to make another snarky comment when your finger met his wound. Any snide remark he had ready, vanished at the gentle way your finger grazed over his cut. Eyebrows softened, and shoulders dropped he let out a sigh.

The ointment stung, but he wasn't focused on that at all. Instead, he was focused on the way his heart rate increased the second you made contact with him. He hated it- but wanted more at the same time.

"What? Going speechless on me now?" You asked teasing his sudden muteness. You prepared the new bandage and got it ready to place over his wound.

"No," he grunted, voice lower than before. Another moment passed before he spoke, "The classes are a pain. God dam Icy Hot gets on my nerves. Acting like we're friends now just because we're in these shitty classes together. He makes everything a hundred times worse." Katsuki explained as you gently pressed the new bandage on to his cheek.

You smiled at Katsuki's honesty and decided to tease him further. "Wait- you mean he isn't your best friend? That's strange he's been telling everyone that."

"The fuck? Are you serious?" Katsuki asked, turning to you, his eyes catching yours. Noticing for the first time how close you really were to him, his cheeks flushed.

You smiled and a giggle escaped you. Immediately he recognized the amusement on your face. If it was anyone else, he'd blow a fuse but- with you, he was distracted by the way your smile lit up your eyes and the way your laughter forced him to smile too.

"Tch- brat. Don't mess with me like that," he said and playfully shoved your shoulder, causing you to laugh even harder.

"I'm sorry- I couldn't help it," you said in between giggles.

If you weren't laughing so hard maybe you would have noticed the soft smile Katsuki had or the way his cheeks warmed slightly.

"Whatever-," he said brushing off his emotions. "You eat yet?" He asked.

"Nope," you answered laughter subsiding.

"Good- let's go downstairs I'll make us something." He offered.

sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @peachsukii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Breaking Their Trust

Requested: Hello, I hope you're doing good :> could I request something for the boys with a reader who accidentally break their trust ? (I'm in the mood for some angst 💀) Take your time, and don't forget to rest ! - @stinkysam

Requested: please write preference for the boys + homelander reaction to your betrayal Thank you 💓 - anon

A/N: I hope you don't mind my loves, I combined the requests just because the posts would be really similar :) I live for angst!!!! Thank you for requesting! I really hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated! 💜💜💜

Butcher was kind of expecting it. After all he's done to the group, turning your back on him wasn't such a huge surprise. He's been an ass lately. Selfish and erratic and stubborn and generally unkind. Going against him was your way of showing him his behavior was unacceptable. He can't blame you. He knows what he's been like, he knows he's basically unrecognizable, but he has a good reason for it. He's never felt the need to explain himself to others, especially not you, so even if he thinks it's all justified, you have no idea. He knows you have never agreed with him on anything, but this is just too far. Both of you have gone too far. Because you're going against Butcher, the rest of your friends are behind you in your decisions. They all agree with you. He's lost it. It's the right decision to betray him.

Hughie can't believe it. Butcher, he would have guessed. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last time that he's betrayed the group. But you? He wants to ask you why. He wants to know why you did what you did. There's gotta be a reason, a good reason, something to rationalize your decisions. No one else thinks so, though. No one else believes you had a reason. And they tell him this. No one wants to hear the excuses you have for why you did what you did. Only Hughie does. He doesn't care if it's silly or stupid or whatever. He just wants to know why. It kills him that you did this, but it hurts even more than you might not even have a reason. You might very just have done it because you did, because you felt like it.

Annie is speechless. You try so hard to explain yourself, why you went behind their backs for your own self interest, but she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to see you. You beg her to listen, but she's done. She trusted you with everything and instead of returning the favor, you used it against her. She's sick. Sick of the betrayal, sick of you, sick of idiotic justifications you've come up with. She refuses to acknowledge you, ordering you to get out, to leave and never come back. You never meant to hurt her. You never meant to break her trust. You truly thought what you were doing was the right thing. She couldn't and wouldn't understand. You could explain until you were blue in the face, she wouldn't hear it. She was done with you.

M.M. isn't shocked. You've always done what you wanted when you wanted. You've always gone about your business without thinking about others, even those closest to you. Still, that didn't mean he wasn't hurt. He thought, he hoped, after everything you've gone through, you would at least come to him first before deciding to do something so crazy, something so selfish. You hurt your friends in the process, all of them reeling from your mistakes. He's one of them, though he tries not to show it. He has to be there for everyone else, he has to be safe and solid and dependable. It's up to him to show them that there is still someone they can trust, someone who will take care of them and look after them and be there no matter what. You fucked up. You burned bridges. You turned someone the kindest people against you for reasons he can't understand. It's up to him to clean up your mess.

Frenchie is in denial. You would never do anything like this. You would never turn your back on them, on him, no matter the reason. But you did! Everyone is trying to tell him, to get it through to him, to make him see that this version of you in his head no longer exists. He's more than hurt. Butcher would have done this, everyone was basically expecting it at this point, but not you. Never you. Frenchie begs you to explain. There's gotta be a good reason, right? There's gotta be something that made you turn on everyone you loved and cared for. It crushes him that you don't. Your justification is flimsy at best. You did it out of your own self interest. What could be more selfish than that? He refuses to believe it, coming up with fantastical reasons as to why you betrayed them. He could imagine all he wanted, it didn't help at all. You still did what you did.

Kimiko shuts down. After everything you've gone through, together and separately, she truly thought the bond and trust you had would never break. That it would last forever. You were in this together, you promised. And yet, you did this. She doesn't want to believe it. She doesn't want it to be true. When you try to talk to her, to explain yourself, she shuts you out. She shuts everyone out. If she can't depend on you, trust you, the most important person in her life, then is there anyone she can rely on? She comes to the conclusion that no one is safe. No one is worth trusting. She goes back to her old ways, blocking everyone out. The Boys aren't sure what to do, how to help. You were the one with all the answers and now you're gone. Shut out.

Bonus! Homelander thinks you're dead to him. If you don't disappear quick enough, you will be. He was convinced Webweaver was the mole. So, he got rid of him. Eliminated the problem. But the issues didn't stop after he died. It was after you left, quietly, silently, nonchalantly, that Sage pointed out the mole wasn't Webweaver or A-Train or even Ashley, it was you. All along it was you. Sage told him not to overreact, to think this through, that this was all part of her plan, but Homelander was outraged. He would hunt you down and kill you as slowly and painfully as possible. You didn't just hurt his feelings, you betrayed him. You disrespected your friendship, your relationship, your bond. You lied right to his face and he had no idea. Now you would pay. He didn't care what Sage had planned, he would make you realize just what you've done to the most powerful Supe in the world.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY DORIAN PAVUS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

i don't care what they think about me. i care what they think about us.

i like you. more than i should. more than might be wise.

discretion isn't your thing, is it?

all this dancing, politics, and murder makes me a bit homesick.

i suppose it really depends. how bad do you want to be?

living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison.

i'm a man of many talents. what can i say?

the moment i saw you, i thought "there's a man who knows quality."

if you don't come through this, i swear i'll kill you.

i'm curious where this goes, you and i. we've had fun. perfectly reasonable to leave it here.

here is my proposal: we dispense with the chitchat and move on to something more primal.

i tease you too much, i know.

i'll have to find something we can do that doesn't involve teasing.

time to drink myself into a stupor. it's been that sort of day.

i see you enjoy playing with fire.

i like playing hard to get.

i'm not suggesting we venture into mutual domesticity.

if it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone. you're good at that.

talk to me. let me hear how mystified you are by my anger.

oh, i'm not arguing. just pointing out the ridiculously obvious.

if you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, i may or may not come.

now... what was i talking about? ah, yes. me.

i am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts.

i prefer the company of men.

would you prefer me bound and leashed?

sometimes the ones you love are also the ones who disappoint you the most.

you are the man i love, [name]. nothing will truly keep us apart.

the things you ask are just... very personal.

sometimes... love isn't enough.

there will always be an "us." we'll just be... farther apart, for a time.

i had no idea something like you was possible.

i'm imagining what you would look like in a dress.

i've never seen you smile so much!

i have no idea what you're talking about.

you stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest.

you're shaping the world for good or ill. how could i aspire to do any less?

my footsies are freezing, thank you.

don't you ever bathe?

you're not suggesting we're similar.

watch where you're pointing that thing!

i'm not wearing a skirt.

it's significantly more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal.

i only meant to say i'm very sorry for your loss.

we can continue this dance forever, if you wish.

i'm saying we should be careful what we assume when it comes to such matters.

demons don't appreciate a man with good hair.

what i wouldn't give for some proper wine.

your outfit's entertaining. i'll give you that.

he had to leave early on account of assassination.

it's nice to know you have friends.

i'm here to do what is right.

come on, just answer the question.

they were asking me about you. personal things.

you said we'd be ass-deep in trouble. this is more like knee-high.

so what's your estimation? think we can win?

you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.

you startled me. you're always so... nondescript.

you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream.

i wanted to see you make flowers bloom with your song. just once.

you've done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than expected.

i've never seen anyone in this part of the world do it.

i realize there's more to you than that.

have i offended you?

for hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.

i can't figure you out, [name].

you don't play their stupid game, they send an assassin or three your way.

i can't believe you're scared of magic.

i'm going to take that as a compliment.

still don't like me, [name]? after all this time?

[name], i owe you an apology.

i suspect people will use any excuse to hate us.

why be ashamed? power should be respected, not swept under the carpet.

maybe you're not a complete moron.

i just need to know you're capable of higher thought. for my own comfort.

it would take work. and soap. lots and lots of soap.

[blood-starved-beast]

Something that is lost in all the discourse around Arcane s2 Jinx, her relationships, with Caitlyn and such is that - Jinx has a very particular relationship with violence. And that sometimes manifests itself in sadism.

Part of it I think, is cause in s2 we don't see it as much, or rather, she is getting the reckoning there for all the points of violence she enacted in s1 and anything she tries in s2 she immediately gets the consequence for it. Thinking her breaking into Vi's apartment in s2ep5 - break-in aside, the weird inappropriate way she blows in her ear, and then gets into her stuff and paints her face in a presumed mockery of Vi's tattoo - and she immediately gets pinned by Vi who responds like a caged injured animal (which hey she is in this case) and choked. But it's a sister-ly thing! one can argue but - is it? Do Vi and Jinx up to this point have that rapport that Vi can reasonably overlook that? That is no, cause since their reunion Jinx has made an effort to either hurt or terrorize Vi (and Caitlyn by extension). Jinx is not in a place to do so, to be like an annoying little sibling, cause she threw that out long ago. It's not until later, that Vi sees Jinx has changed (and part of that is due to Isha's help) but again Jinx had to change. Jinx was not just some innocent victim. Yes she was victimized, yes she's mentally ill and part of the fear of her comes from that. But also Jinx is sadistic and the way she engages with people since s1 act 2 reflects that.

Some examples:

-Killing the Firelights including and especially that one girl who looked like Vi. Why shoot her? Cause she upset her cause she happened to look like Vi? The earlier killing were moments of failings emotional control/mental instability and can be excused but this? Man. -The killing of the enforcers in s1ep4 - yes they are cops and who cares but the manner in which she does it speaks to Jinx and her character here. She doesn't have to be sadistic about it in the way that she was. -the way she engages with Thieram/Chuck and how he is clearly terrified of her. She has a reputation and then tricks him with a bomb which the poor schmuck thought was legit (until it wasn't). -Tying up Sevika for her words about Vi replacing her and such. Not even just the fact that it's cruel, she does it in a humiliating manner. -Kidnapping Caitlyn while she's naked and vulnerable, and deliberately building that up with the monkey shape. She knew what she was doing, and it was deliberate (yes Jinx's demons have made her into a bogeyman but it doesn't change the way in which Jinx engages with that bogeyman). Compare it to Silco's kidnapping, or even Vi's. Jinx's method here is deliberate. -Dinner scene - the fake out beheading scene with Vi and the Cupcake. -the Ultimatum with Vi - she tells Vi she can only have one thing or the other. She does not grant Vi the agency to choose and and tries to manhandle her. -After losing Silco, she reacts by shooting the Council. Not because she's some great hero who wants to make a Statement. She does it out of a lack of emotional control, and that (unintentionally) leads to Ambessa having an "in" into P/Z. She creates the Monster that is s2act1!Caitlyn. -Heenot being hung upside down and the dolls hanging from the ceiling and the dead dolls of the Striketeam which are gory as is.

What do I mean by this? I'm not saying it to mean that Jinx is meant to be evil or just ~ crazy ~ and should be hated. But I've seen a lot of people after s2 jump to say she's a perfect hero who has done everything right, who hate her choice to break the cycle. Cause it's not just about the things she's done to the Council/Piltover! She has to break the cycle in all the things she's done. Jinx has a reputation in Zaun as is in Piltover and those actions she's taken for forever will continue to isolate her even as she's changed or when ppl try to rebuild her in a way she isn't - the hero archetype. She has to run away.

And this is why too, she is a great foil to Caitlyn! And why Caitlyn always speaks in "we" when it comes to their mistakes. Caitlyn in s2 becomes the mirror to Jinx in that they both embody different forms of violence in s2 - Caitlyn's organized violence vs Jinx's chaos. Both harm a lot of innocents in the process. They cannot erase their mistakes, but they can break the cycle and move on.

Anyways this is to say, Jinx is a very complex character. She has many facets to her, the alleged hero she denies the role of (cause she doesn't care, doesn't care about community as a whole like that it takes her Isha, losing Silco the way she did even Vi for a bit, and s2act2 to treat see humans as people and not dolls she plays with), the scared and hurt child, the part of her that struggles with her mental illness, the part that loves her family, loves Ekko. But it does not erase those worse off parts of her. And ignoring that side of her ignores the choices the writers make in the story. Why she decides to run away when Ekko shows her that she doesn't have to end it all. It's part of why timebomb and the sisters are doomed.

[freakroth]

i saw your post saying that people who ship incest and headcanon dazai as liking that stuff are obviously going to be harrassed. I don't headcanon dazai as liking daddy kiddy stuff, but i want to ask how you think writing about that makes a person bad. because dazai has literally committed AT LEAST child abuse(akutagawa), 136 murders, 312 extortion cases, 625 cases of fraud and more. but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things, then why aren't you harrassing asagiri for writing about all those things? and I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder. so I'd like to ask this. do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules. Also, If you're deep in the bsd community then you may have read no longer human, in which it is heavily heavily implied(to the point that there's literally no other explanation for what happened to her exept rape) that yozo's wife,yoshiko, was raped. do you believe that the irl dazai approved of rape?

I don't mean to come off as rude or argumentative, so sorry if i do, im genuinely curious.

I'm sorry but, are you stupid? you're asking why someone is a bad person for writing incest, pedophilia and rape content. OFC SOMEONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR WRITING THAT KIND OF STUFF. If someone writes it they normalize it, and normalzing disgusting shit like that is VERY harmful.

Its kinda dumb that you are compering Dazai, a fictional character to real people, Dazai is not a real person, so his actions don't effect real people, but people who make incest do effect real people. As someone who is a victim of sa, its very triggering to see incest, pedophilia, rape ect content being made of my favorite character. Making that type of content is normalizing it, and if we normalize kids being raped by someone they're close to, then its gonna end up making younger kids think that its okay if that happens to them.

"but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things" i never said to harass the writers, i said that if they are gonna write that shit they need to be able to handle the hate, and yes they deserve hate for making it, and saying its for coping isn't a valid excuse, because they are hurting other victims at the same time.

"I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder" They are different, rape is done by the attacker so that they can feel sexual pleasure. And sadly in some cases, like junko furuta, people get raped, tortured and murdered for no reason. But still torture and rape are still different, and i don't know why you're bringing up torture and murder when this is about incest content.

"do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules." The answer is no, just because i said i MIGHT write for it doesn't mean i will, its meant as "in some cases i might write it" and even if you don't condone incest, rape and pedophilia irl, its stil very much wrong and disgusting and people who write it should really feel guilty about it, if you have thoughts about that stuff you need to seek help, not normalize and spread it around the interent. Also cheating and incest/rape content aren't comperable btw, one is a crime and the other one is breaking someones trust.

Now the book part, i have the book but i haven't read it, and bringing the real life dazai, into this is stupid, he lived over 70 years ago, people thought differently about rape back then so its hard to know. also the book is a fucking autobiography so ofc its gonna talk about stuff that happened in his life

Anyways please tell me if anything in here is wrong or if you wanna add anything to this

Btw saying "sorry if i come of as rude" after compering me to weirdos is something! 🥰

[purinfelix]

possibly, maybe i'm falling for you [pt. 2]- joao felix

summary: after almost a month of ditching shifts to avoid the new barista at work, you're forced to work a closing shift together with no way out ( read part 1 here ) w/c: 2.4k

a/n: okay if i'm being completely honest this isn't my best work and also ended up being way longer than i expected (but i'm on a roll tonight and ik if i don't finish this rn i never will sooo....) hoping this won't flop <//3

You had done a lot of stupid things in your life, but you were fairly sure this had taken the cake. Though part of you, the immature part was also slightly proud of how smart you had been about all of these - it was borderline genius.

You had spent the past month or so meticulously orchestrating your work schedule. Whenever the roster for the week dropped, you would scan over it obsessively, every name and every timeslot. If it wasn't to your hopes you'd immediately message your boss with some excuse - "Uni work is piling up.", "I need to catsit for a friend.", "Caught a nasty cold." - for why you wouldn't be able to make it. You were fairly sure she would catch on soon enough, but even if she did she still obliged and let you switch to another day. Was it tedious and a little more stressful than you'd like? Sure - but it was what you had resorted to, in order to avoid the new barista.

At first, you weren't entirely sure why you were going through all this effort after only working a single shift with him. He hadn't been that bad of a coworker, in fact, he was perfect. He managed to stay on top of orders and keep the station clean at the same time, a feat not many could achieve - and to top it all off, he was thoroughly polite.

But the more you caught yourself avoiding him, the more it started to click. Sure, it was annoying that he was basically perfect at his job and even more irritating that he got tips for just looking good, but even those weren't good enough reasons to hate him. It dawned on you throughout the weeks, with each shift you took without him - which was still full of people coming in to ask "Where that good-looking barista is?" - that you didn't really hate Joao at all. In fact, that couldn't be further from the truth.

The realisation dawned on you largely against your own will. You tried everything to combat it, tell yourself you couldn't possibly feel like that about someone you had barely spoken to, let alone your coworker. And strangely enough, avoiding him - which you had hoped would help you forget about him - only made it worse, giving you time to conjure up ridiculous thoughts about him, what he was doing, what he thought about you. Admittedly, you regretted slightly being so mean to him the first, and last, time you shared a shift.

If only I had a chance to apologise, then maybe it would be alright, you thought, turning over in bed before bringing up a hand to shield your tired eyes from the morning sunlight. As you soon learned, Joao tended to take a lot of morning shifts, which let you get used to the feeling of sleeping in. The soft ping of your phone alerted you though, to an unexpected notification from your boss.

Your eyes widened slightly when you opened it up to see her begging you to work tonight's closing shift, despite you knowing full well that he would be working as well. You knew you had wanted a chance to talk with him, but this had come far too soon. Already halfway through typing up an excuse, another message came through explaining that the staff who was meant to take it had dropped out, that it was an unexplainable emergency and that you'd really be helping her out by coming. You paused your frantic typing, letting out a soft sigh.

After all, you did have a duty to your boss and you'd feel guilty if you let her down now - even after her obliging all your ridiculous requests for shift changes. Slowly, you typed out your response before rolling onto your back, letting your phone fall somewhere amongst your crumpled bed sheets. All you could do now was get ready for work and hope it wouldn't be too bad.

The afternoon came far quicker than you had hoped and before you realised it, you were standing at the door of the cafe. Despite having grown a sense of comfort attached to this door and what lay beyond, having been an employee for so long, your heart twisted at the fact that you had let something as simple as a boy throw a wrench in that. You wiped your clammy hands on the sides of your shorts before reaching out a hand to the doorknob.

Through the frosted panes of the door you could just make out the foggy silhouette of the very boy you had been avoiding, as he busied himself with wiping down tables and clearing empty cups. For a moment, you felt bad for having avoided him all this time, because as he rushed back and forth there was a sense of loneliness in his actions. You recognised it, having worked many closing shifts alone in your earlier years, and soft guilt washed over you at the thought of him feeling the same isolation you had then.

"Hey," you said in unison with the tinkling bell at the top of the front door. You watched as Joao whipped his head around and his expression turned from one of slight boredom into a mix of surprise and relief.

"Oh, hey!" You walked slowly over to the employee entrance to the back counter and he followed quickly, seemingly eager to rid his hands of the several plates he was holding. "I didn't know you were working tonight too."

"Oh yeah sorry, the boss called me in last minute," you fixed your attention on the display case of cakes, unable to bring yourself to look at him.

"No, don't apologise. It does tend to get a little sad here alone," he laughed guiltily and you can only offer a sympathetic smile in response.

"Well I better-" you begin, gesturing to your bag.

"Oh yeah go ahead," he says, moving out of your way though he pauses for a minute - almost as if he's about to ask you a question, but quickly decides against it. You don't think much of it as you move past him into the employee room.

The first half of your shift passes by quickly with waves of customers keeping both of you busy in your respective areas. With each ring of the bell, alerting you to the arrival of a new customer, you felt a slight wash of relief knowing they had bought you a couple less minutes alone. You weren't sure why, but more than anything you feared the awkward silence that would inevitably fall once the two of you were alone.

And of course, with your luck, the stream of customers soon trickled out to just a handful of regulars finishing off the last of their meals. There was less than half an hour left until closing, and you felt your stomach churn with worry each minute that ticked past.

"It's been a while since we worked a shift together," comes Joao's voice from behind you, causing your stomach to drop. You hadn't been expecting the conversation to start so soon.

"Oh yeah, I've just been sort of busy," you laugh, hoping your excuse and attempt at a light-hearted tone do enough to dispel any more questions.

"It's funny though, every time I looked at the first roster and we'd be scheduled together, the next time I checked you would be moved." Maybe not.

"Really?" You're not the best at acting but you try anyway. "I guess it's just a coincidence."

"I guess." Hearing his mocking tone, you grab a hold of a rag and dash out from behind the counter to go clean a couple tables - anything to get away from him, and this conversation. But he's relentless, and you hear his footsteps as he begins to follow you.

Just in time though, the very last of your customers gets up from her seat and waltzes towards the counter, forcing him back to the register. You smile to yourself as he takes her payment, but this happiness is short-lived once you watch her walk out the door, leaving the two of you alone.

You continue wiping down the tables, starting with the ones as far away from him as possible.

"You need any help with that?" he calls out.

"Nope, I'm good."

"Alright."

It's almost painful how awkward this is, and the way you feel as though the last ten minutes have inched by excruciatingly slow. Once you reach the last of your tables though, you have no choice but to head back behind the counter and start cleaning there too. As you do, you're suddenly made aware just how little space there is for the two of you to pass by each other - and you end up accidentally pushing past his shoulder.

"Sorry," you mumble, though it comes out a little ruder than you'd expected. Suddenly though, you feel a slender hand wrap around your wrist, forcing you to drop the rag on the floor and spin around o face him. "What th-"

"Did I do something?"

His question comes so quickly, so suddenly - though you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been expecting it. For the first time since your last shift, you're forced to look Joao in the eyes, and a part of you is caught up by how beautiful they are, looking directly into yours. But another is more concerned with the almost painful pleading expression they hold, and your heart twists while your brain searches for a response.

"No, you didn't, you're actually a great coworker for what it's worth." It feels cathartic, to tell the truth after forcing yourself to speak the language of polite niceties.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about, I get tipped enough to know I'm a fine barista."

"Then why do you care what I think?" You try to wriggle yourself free from his grip but your feet stay planted where they are, almost paralyzed under his gaze.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Stop acting so stupid, you know exactly why I've been avoiding you!"

"Do you think I'd be here if I did? Do you think I would have prodded you with so many questions?!" His voice rises with each question, and it's almost as if he's speaking without thinking. "Do you think I would've begged our boss to roster us together if I did?"

He shrinks back almost immediately, realising what he's just said. "I-"

"You what?" He sighs.

"I had to get you to talk to me somehow, I knew you were avoiding me, I'm not that daft."

You pause, taking this in. This entire time you thought you'd just been serving yourself, and that he hadn't even given you a second thought - and now you're forced to realise that it's in fact the opposite.

"I didn't like that you were getting more tips than me," you sigh, voice tiny and confessional even though you know that isn't the full truth. And he does too.

"That can't be it."

"Well, what do you want to hear, huh Joao? That I don't like the way you push past me or how you're so easily friendly with our regulars?"

"No-"

"Do you think I don't like the way you wipe down the counter, or how you steam your milk?" You're not sure why you're raising your voice so much, but it's almost as if all the frustration from the past month has bubbled up to the surface.

"No!" He's yelling too, but strangely enough, it doesn't scare you at all.

"Then what? Tell me what you want to hear huh!"

"I want to hear you say you don't hate me!"

"God, you're such an idiot," you laugh, a mean and spiteful laugh as you throw your hands up in exasperation.

"Am I?"

"Yes!" you huff, "because clearly you've been too stupid to realise that I've been avoiding you because I like you!"

Shit.

You physically feel yourself recoil after hearing what you've said, and Joao does the same, his eyes widening and mouth dropping agape. The two of you stand there in a thick, tense silence for what feels like ages.

"You what?" his voice is tiny when he speaks again.

"Please don't make me say it again."

"You like me?"

"Yeah, no need to rub it in."

"Oh, thank god," he sighs, and the relief in your voice confuses you. You watch as his body finally relaxes, and he trudges over to lean against the cafe counter, rubbing his eyes with his hands like he has a headache.

"Excuse me?"

"Here I was, stressed out of my mind thinking the coworker I had a crush on was avoiding me because I had creeped her out or something." It's almost as if he's talking to himself.

"You what?!"

"Oh, and I'm the idiot here?" You resist the urge to hit him.

"You," you pause, almost not being able to believe what you're saying, "you like me too?"

"Is that not obvious?" he laughs, and you let out a scoff of disbelief as he stands up and closes the gap between the two of you. The cogs in your head finally start working to put the pieces together, but you're still a little shocked - even when you feel Joao's hand reach up to hold your chin.

"Now that we've cleared things up," his voice is low, causing your cheeks to heat up, "can I kiss you?"

He still has that innocent tone, and it almost reminds you of the way he asked you questions during his training session. A little unsure but still wanted to make sure he was doing everything right. You nod, and let out a gasp as you feel his lips on yours.

When you finally pull away, he holds you close, almost ready for a second when you put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"What now?"

"We finish closing?"

"I mean, with us."

"You doing anything after this?"

"Don't think so."

"How about dinner, on me?" You roll your eyes at the smirk spreading across his face but nod regardless. Freeing yourself from his embrace, you go to pick up the rag you dropped earlier.

When you stand back up, Joao pulls you in once more for a quick peck, before pressing his forehead to yours.

"I'm guessing you won't be avoiding shifts with me anymore?"

[bokvshou]

i loved the stolitz scene. all the conflict begins with blitzø almost refusing to return the book, and it's like... but it's not all about the book, is it? blitzø needs the book to work, yes, but it's also an excuse to be with stolas without having to accept that he WANTS to see him. for blitzø it's the perfect excuse to not deal with his own feelings because "well, i HAVE to, i made a deal, i'm obligated".

leaving the full weight of their relationship on their deal (the book) means that blitzø can take the blame off of anything. he needs that shield, that excuse, to keep avoiding facing the situation, "nothing that happens can be my fault if i'm being forced to be here, right?"

he's scared. makes sense, considering that he thinks all the failure he's had in his relationships to have been his fault. PLUS, the book serves as a guarantee that stolas won't leave him because "that's the deal, isn't it? as long as i have the book he wants me".

so asking for the book back is a threat to that state of conformity blitzø feels. it means he would have to finally accept he wants stolas, his feelings, and a relationship where everything he does, good or bad, would be his own decision, with all its consequences.

asking for the book back is breaking the deal, which also means (in blitzø's head) stolas doesn't want him anymore, and it's a rejection. that's why despite having a new option to go to earth, as soon as blitzø heard that it meant no longer seeing stolas he felt unhappy.

if blitzø didn't care, he wouldn't have reacted like that as soon as he heard stolas say "you don't have to stay here with me". it really scared him to think that he no longer had a reason (an excuse) to keep visiting stolas, he felt rejected, but he also refuses to believe that anyone can love HIM, he even thinks stolas is joking, and he panics when he realizes that's not the case bc that bitch HATES himself lemme tell you that. this is a mess and i'm just yapping bc i feel you buddy.

so, what happens when blitzø refuses to accept his own vulnerability, is terrified of commitment, and doesn't consider himself to have any kind of value worth worth loving? self sabotage! he gets defensive, says shit without thinking.

and that's how he ends up hurting the person he didn't want to hurt. blitzø quickly regrets it, but what's done is done, and all that's left is a painful emptiness and silence. let's go BPD king.

[razzellyn]

So affectionate!

Reader who gave them a daily hug! (You're going to be oofed)

Fluff and ! Angst !

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Blue Cop:

• Flustered for the first few times. It's not that he didn't like it, it just barely happens to him. Jun made fun of him about it and he got even more flustered each hug.

• Eventually warms up to it and hugs you back! Only when the "immature" one isn't around though. Immature being Shadow X.

• Actually looks forward to it everyday now. It's a daily thing when it comes to you.

• Now that you are gone, now that you have just lost the privilege of living, he finds it hard to even go after the day like he usually would.

• He doesn't realize how lonely he felt until after you were gone. It makes him feel as if he was just taking your kindness, your presence for granted.

• The last time he hugged you was the last time he hugged anyone else. Any other hugs that has been given to him feels different than the ones you used to give. So, Instead of being hugged by someone else, he just hugs himself.

• Oh how he wished he could tell you how much those hugs meant for him.

Mega Trucker:

• Actually really likes them. But, obviously, he'd never admit that. He'd just play it off with a wave of his hand and walking away.

• He's totally not jealous when you give the others a hug too. He knows it's just what you do, but you don't choose how you feel, so..

• He'd much prefer if you hug him in private. That, or when you just gave everyone a hug.

• Sometimes you give them a hug after any kind of battles they go through, and he used that as an excuse to ask you for a hug sometimes.

• He didn't expect that today would be his last hug from you. His shield was already applied and yet... he couldn't protect you.

• He's the one with the shield, he was supposed to defend you. He feels pathetic now, knowing that he wasn't quick or fast enough to protect you.

• Sometimes, whenever he's alone, he's reminded that you were gone and he blames himself for it.

• He doesn't want to be hugged by someone else. Can't you just.. hug him one last time?

Mega Ambuler:

• He may be... stoic, and a bit cold at times. But your hugs are usually the reason that he melts. (Not literally)

• Honestly, didn't expect anyone to hug him at all! It was a nice change for him.

• Believe it or not, sometimes he initiated the hug. In private, of course. It's a bit awkward for him whenever he does, but for you it was like being blessed for a lifetime.

• Usually he refuses your hugs, but he often regrets it afterwards. Atleast you were kind enough to give him one after that.

• Somehow you still had the nerve to hold him close even as he was patching up your wounds.

• He wanted you to live, everyone wanted you to live. Everyone depended on him for you to live, and he failed.

• He blames himself. He apologized to you, even if you can't hear him he still does. It gives him some type of false hope that he clings to, that maybe somehow you still lived.

• He has never felt so dissapointed in his entire life. To himself. Silently begging for you to just... come back.

• It felt as if he had failed the purpose of a doctor.

Phoenix Fire:

• He's embarrassed from time to time, but he mostly welcomes the hugs with open arms.

• One of the bots who actually showed how much they appreciated your hugs. Your hugs also often calms him down from a panic attack. He's thankful for that.

• He also looks forward to being hugged, it always brightens his day by 100%.

• He was the one screaming at you, begging you to stay awake as he fought the fires and enemies from expanding further.

• He was being brave for you, extinguishing the fires like how a firefighter should! Why weren't you responding...?

• He hugged you as tightly as he could, running towards safety, murmuring promises of a safe place, a safe haven even just for the two of you. Only to look down at an empty husk that you left.

• He wondered what he could've done. He wondered what could've been avoided. He wondered if you wanted a hug.

Shadow X:

• It's hard to tell whether he likes them or not. Sometimes he hugs you back with a wide nonexistent grin, sometimes he just pushes you away. Not in an aggressive manner, of course

• One time he initiated a hug, without realizing that everyone was watching. Yeah you weren't gonna receive hugs from him anymore.

• Secretly the #1 enjoyer of your hugs. Cannot mentally function without one. You found out because he was being an annoyance before you gave him one, after you did he was much more calmer.

• Was the one who immediately stood by your side, picking you up to the best of his abilities, not wanting to hurt you further.

• It was the first time you'd seen him so serious. It was the last time he had seen you so amused.

• He didn't want to let go of you he just wanted to hug you. He didn't care if everyone else was watching, he didn't want you to leave.

• Stay for him, please. He begs of you. Let him be the one to hug you this time.

Fleta Z:

• Also #1 hug enjoyer. He actually shows that he does, not in an exaggerating way of course.

• He's not one to initiate hugs, but he's not one to decline them either. In fact he relishes in the hugs you gave him.

• Sometimes he wishes he could just hug you and never letting you go. Don't worry, he won't actually do that.

• He's really gentle with the hug. Sometimes even hugging you tightly on occasion. It's usually whenever he feels pissed off when that happens. It calms him down greatly.

• Oh was he furious when he saw you laying there motionless. Immediately running over to cover you with his frame as he shoots at the enemies.

• He doesn't want to believe it. But he knows it's true. He just wished it was him and not you.

• He doesn't feel like using his flute at times. For some reason he just didn't feel like it. When he does, he wonders, can you hear his tune that was made just for you?

• Whenever that happens he thought about going over to you, maybe you'd give him a hug. Until he remembered.

• He sighed to himself as he stared at the moon. Wishing that the moon was you.

Dexter:

• Though flustered and embarrassed, he still hugs you back.

• He's also one of the bots to appreciate your hugs, sometimes even asking you a second one.

• In return, he often takes you to explore the forest! Totally not a date, while also talking about the plants and wildlife of the forest.

• You somehow managed to hug him in his vehicle form, and even though it was an odd position, he still appreciated it.

• He immediately abandoned the battlefield, carrying you gently, hoping that he was fast enough to bring you to safety.

• Well, atleast he could hug you one last time before you go. Surely that could calm him down...?

• He only seeks your hugs much more than before now, only to hug himself once he remembers that won't happen anytime soon.

• The forest feels lonelier than ever. It's not as beautiful as he remembered.

Wild Guardy:

• He doesn't mind it at all. He just lets you do whatever you see fit.

• Overtime though, he gradually leans onto your hugs. It went from patting your back, to side hugging you, and all of a sudden he engulfed you in a hug.

• He doesn't care if the others see you two. Sometimes he even showed off that you hugged him rather than them.

• Safe to say he even hugged you as he ran with you to safety. You were bleeding in his car seat. Does he care? No. Cleaning might be a hassle though.

• He handed you over to Mega Ambuler, telling him to to bring you somewhere so you could be treated, and went back to the battlefield.

• His frame physically sagged down when he heard you couldn't make it. Demanding that he sees you for the very last time.

• Never had he felt so disappointed in himself before. He gently held onto your fragile little hand, sighing to himself as he brought your body close.

• Seems like he lost the privilege to your hugs.

Buffalo Crush:

• He looks like the type to not like hugs. Well you're WRONG. He THOROUGHLY enjoys them. Daily hugs? Even BETTER.

• At some point he just full on cuddled you instead of hugging, forgetting to let go until you started squirming. He apologized immediately after.

• He's learned to hug you gently now. Still snuggling up to you when he could, which then turned into a cuddle and he forgot you needed to breathe. Again.

• It takes... too long for him to properly hug you, but he did it! His learning of "how to gently hug others" had significantly improved thanks to you.

• He just didn't expect that you would go once learned. He hugged your form gently, not wanting your pain to increase.

• Of course he went to Mega Ambuler. He's a doctor isn't he? He should know what to do. He could bring you back! But Mega Ambuler's lack of response tells him otherwise.

• He was begging for someone, for anyone to help you! But even Buster Gallon didn't know what to do.

• He learned how to properly hug you now, won't you hug him back?

Buster Gallon:

• Oh he hates it. He's totally not embarrassed each time you try to hug him.

• One time he decided to let you hug him, guess what? He's not letting go. Then it just goes on after that.

• Whenever he's done something, or achieved some sort of breakthrough, he comes to you for a reward hug. Which is a normal hug, but he can only achieve it by succeeding in... something.

• Somehow you always came up with excuses to hug him, telling him that he'd done something great knowing that he didn't even do a thing yet.

• Oh how he wished he let you hug him more. He carried you away from the battle, ignoring Black Hook's orders.

• Only to find that his efforts were futile, as you lay motionless in his arms. He feels conflicted. He wants to hug you, he wants to keep you close. But he just couldn't bring it in himself to do so.

• Would you still hug him, even though he failed?

Black Hook:

• His immediate answer was a no. He didn't want to be seen as someone that could easily be 'hugged' by others. Only for him to lean into your embrace once you two were alone.

• He'd huff and grumble, saying that he doesn't want to be hugged, but you knew that he lied.

• Putting on a brave face and a strong figure, it deeply surprised you how easily he becomes a tiny spoon. Even a captain would like some time off, thank you.

• He melts every time you hug him, wishing that he could've hugged you when everyone was around but not wanting his dignity gone.

• Now he doesn't even care about dignity. He's focused on keeping you safe, only to realize that he was a tad bit too late. He's practically screaming out your name, ordering you to stay awake.

• In the end it was all pointless, staring down at your lifeless body, bending down to give you a hug. If this was going to be the last hug, at least give him the honor to initiate the hug.

• He stayed holding you, as gently as a captain could.

Heavy Iron:

• It's no surprise that Heavy Iron doesn't think much of it. Actually it technically is a surprise, considering that he's a huge bot who looks like he would stomp on you if he wanted to.

• It makes him wonder however, why you were hugging him in the first place. But he must admit, it's nice to be shown kindness even after your worse. He's never saying that though.

• Usually he just pats your back in return and lets go immediately after. Other times he just doesn't do anything, letting you hug him as he just stood there. (like an idiot!🏴‍☠️)

• It almost never happens, but whenever he's feeling particularly good he would actually, properly, hug you back. Even he got himself surprised.

• He wasn't sure what he expected after that. He lost his world, and then he lost you. It doesn't surprise him, but it still hurts.

• He mourns you silently, grieving in the fact that he's only ever hugged you a few times before, yet you've hugged him countless of times.

• Never in his lifetime have he ever felt so saddened by the loss of someone. Though, he supposed you were a different case. You treated him as equals even after he did the opposite, yet somehow that encouraged you to hug him?

• Does he even deserve a hug from you? From anyone?

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Pls send req of character and scenario

Pls

Idk what else to write i BEG

[flower-boi16]

Why The "Their Both Meant to Be in the Wrong!" defense doesn't work

Lately I've commonly seen this defence levidied towards the show's writing of Stolitz everytime someone critizes season 2's handling of it, and in light of the recent episode I feel the need to cover it. So let's go over why this defence simply doesn't work, shall we?

1. Their mistakes are not equal

I already made a post about this before so I'll try to keep it brief; Stolas and Blitz's mistakes here aren't equal and the show can't act like they are. Stolas mistake was sexually abusing Blitz, trapping him in a situation where he has to agree to sleep with him or he'll lose the thing he needs for his job

Blitz' mistakes are...

Being kind of an ass to Stolas in Apology Tour

Not realizing that Stolas has genuine love for him due to being blinded by preconcieved notions he's had about him

Let's break these down, shall we?

This not on the same level as what Stolas was doing

Blitz isn't even in the wrong for this. Again I talked about this before in my post about Viv's tweet but. Blitz is not in the wrong here for not believing that Stolas loves him, after all, what reason does he even have? Stolas has done nothing but sexually abuse and constantly belittle Blitz, and even those "nice things" aren't suddenely enough to balance out those bad actions, they are far too small to actually make up for the shit Stolas did to Blitz.

None of these mistakes are remotely the same level as what Stolas did to Blitz especially when you start putting in context here. Stolas was doing what he was doing to Blitz were all purely for his own selfish pleasure while Blitz' actions were more understandable once you look at things from his perspective.

You can't pretend that Blitz and Stolas' actions are somehow the same level when they simply are not. The actions from both characters should be equally as bad when you put in the context, but here it simply isn't.

2. Stolas' mistakes are never acknowledged

I've seen a lot of people trying to say that one of Stolas' mistakes here is that he "isn't self-aware enough" to realize how he treated Blitz not as a why to excuse him but to try and deny the argument that the show is victimizing him. There are two problems with this;

There isn't any actual indication of this being case within the show, this was just something that Viv made up in a tweet she posted after the full moon aired and everyone suddenely started parrotting it around. This was suppoused to be character trait for Stolas than that should have been made more clear from the narrative.

Let's say for a sec that the narrative does make it clear that Stolas has little self-awarness; well, it still fails because the show never calls this out. The show never calls out Stolas' lack of self-awarness in these scenes, if the show really was trying to hold them both accountable then Stolas' flaws here should be properly addressed by the narrative, but they aren't. It's a similar issue to Charlie from HB's sister show; the narrative is aware of the flaws the character has but it never chooses to call out or confront these flaws because it's too busy idealizing/babying the character to do that. Stolas' flaws SHOULD be addressed by the narrative if Viv really is trying to make them both flawed, but no, only Blitz flaws are acknowledged while Stolas' aren't.

That's bad writting. 90% of the blame is put on Blitz while Stolas is solely painted as someone hurt by Blitz' actions. The only time where Stolas' actions are seen as bad is when he was SA Blitz, which is good but...since it's coming alongside moments that demonize Blitz for not seeing that Stolas loves him, it runs hollow and still comes across and victimizing Stolas here as someone hurt by Blitz in spite of holding him accountable (and also because, once again, Blitz is not in the wrong for thinking this even if he has biases). The show is still directly demonizing Blitz for being hurt by Stolas' actions here, so it runs hollow.

3. Blitz still gets all the blame

People constantly complain about antis "picking sides" when you aren't suppoused to, but I don't think you can blame people for doing that when the show itself is picking sides. The show puts all the blame onto Blitz here, painting him as the one mostly in the wrong here and an asshole for hurting Stolas' feelings.

Despite what fans try to argue, the framming of the show makes Stolitz look completely black and white; Blitz is the asshole who hurt poor Stolas' feelings and Stolas is the one who maybe made some mistakes but is mostly innocent here guys! I'm really sick of people trying to argue about this being a grey reletionship when it's not, if Viv wants it to be a grey reletionship then she's doing a shit tier job at it due to the framming of the show.

Blitz is the one who the show mostly demonizes here, he's the one who the show sees as the worst person here who needs to change, while Stolas is painted as the "bigger" person. That's not mutual toxicity. If that was what the show was aiming for then the show would call them both out on their bullshit, but it doesn't.

Conclusion

Just wanted to write this quick post because I was sick of seeing this defense over and over again when it came to this reletionship. Guys, Stolitz is suppoused to be a mutually toxic reletionship, then the show's framming is fumbling it significantly. The writting for the reletionship here is just plain bad.

[citadelofmythoughts]

Being extremely charitable, there is SOME narrative basis for why Yang had the POTENTIAL to be like Adam, because that's the whole point:

Yang is not inherently a person who couldn't have ended up like Adam, because the narrative intentionally frames them as having many similar character traits positive and negative.

The key DIFFERENCE however is that Yang has something that Adam refused to ever be or do: Being compassionate to others and having the self-awareness to realize that her anger isn't an inherently good thing.

She's justified to be angry about a lot of things in her life, like her father's failure to take care of her and Ruby properly, her mothers effectively abandoning her, the ways in which an ancient conspiracy chaired by a manipulative well-meaning liar has torn her family apart, and people basically not treating her right. She can be volatile and angry about seemingly small things like her hair.

But she also does her damndest to not use it as an excuse to lash out and harm people all the time. She controls her anger, keeps her negative qualities in check, and she doesn't make excuses for any mistakes she does make if its done out of her anger or failures.

Adam doesn't even attempt to do that. He was deeply traumatized for very legitimate reasons, but he let his hatred and rage become a justification and excuse to inflict immense harm on everyone around him, including the people who genuinely wanted to help him and see the best in him like Blake.

He abused his power, his privilege as a member of a civil rights group who were willing to help him and twisted it into a shell of its former self. He harmed the people he claimed to stand for for the sake of his ego. And he made excuses after excuses for his actions even when he had lost everything because of it.

THAT is the difference.

Addendum to previous post:

And that's the crux of it:

Adam was given basically everything he ever truly wanted deep down, had a chance to truly make things better...and he blew it because it wasn't enough for him, because he cared more about making other people suffer even if it meant destroying his own cause.

Yang is compassionate and unselfish almost to a fault. She's put her own emotional and physical well-being at risk multiple times for people she cares about. She's someone who could have so easily become bitter and broken and she did come close at the end of V3 but her innate good nature prevented it. Adam is like a funhouse mirror image of Yang.

[sapphic-agent]

Let's Talk About Shigaraki

I've had some time to collect my thoughts, so I think I'm ready to finally talk about Tomura.

Fair warning, this is more of a rant. Mostly because there isn't much to say except that Horikoshi hates this motherfucker, almost as much as he hates Izuku.

Tomura is a character whose autonomy and agency has been stripped by the narrative repeatedly. And that's not really uncommon in MHA (Izuku, Hawks, Shoto, etc.), so why am I pointing it out? Because Horikoshi's assassination of his character didn't need to happen. In fact, it feels like he bent over backwards to make sure it happened.

Anyone who's been around my blog long enough knows that the MLA arc is one of my favorites, I even put it in my top five MHA arcs. It did a great job of having Shigaraki progress as not only a villain but a leader and come into his own power. My one issue with it and what kept it out of top three was that it seemed to immediately undo all the progress Tomura made by making him want AFO (the quirk). Him gaining this quirk didn't tie into his goals at all and it flipped him from wanting to use his destruction to make a world for the LOV to be free in (Eric Vale's delivery of this scene in dub was fire btw, go watch it) to him just wanting more power. It was an extremely weird decision.

The PLA War further perpetuates this and it causes some confusion as to where Horikoshi was going with his character. Instead of a newly established in-control and ambitious villain, he turned Tomura into a puppet for All For One to use for his own benefit.

(Off topic, but that also felt out of character for AFO. Prior to this, he seemed to want Tomura to succeed and carve his own path, even taking the time to gently correct his outbursts and give him actual advice and guidance. You could argue that this was manipulation on his part, but it didn't feel like it at the time. Why would he want Tomura to be level-headed and calm if the plan was to use him as a husk for his own control? It felt way more like Tomura was initially meant to be his successor, not his puppet. This reads more like another Horikoshi retcon)

For some reason, it feels like the intention was to turn him into a victim for Izuku to save. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing... Except he didn't develop Izuku enough for him to be able to do that.

Izuku doesn't understand Tomura, he even admits this himself. He sees Tomura as someone who causes destruction for the hell of it. And you know what? He wasn't wrong going off his few interactions with him. But that's where we hit our problem; Izuku has not interacted enough with Tomura.

And honestly? There's no excuse for this. They're supposed to be our protagonist and antagonist. They're supposed to be parallels with one another. So why in the world do they only really have one intimate scene together?

(I have mentioned this before, but Izuku should have been the one kidnapped, not Bakugou. Bakugou being in this position provides nothing to the plot, especially because All Might would have sacrificed his power for anyone. Bakugou isn't a dynamic or integral enough character for this to benefit the character progression of Tomura or the rest of the LOV, but Izuku is. Him learning why they're villains would have really done so much for their characters, as well as his own)

This leaves their interactions during the Final War completely stagnant and stale. Izuku doesn't understand Tomura, and Tomura knows that. He sees Izuku as a goody-two-shoes with no understanding of how dark the world can be. Except Izuku does understand because he experienced it. But how would Tomura know that? And how would Izuku know how Tomura became a villain? There's no understanding between them which is why Izuku is unable to connect with Tomura like he did Stain and Gentle Criminal. Which is why him trying to save Tomura goes nowhere.

It didn't have to be like this though. Even if it was rushed, Horikoshi could have squeezed it in. He could have made the effort. He chose not to. Partly because he can't be assed to give either of them good development, but also because he avoids the shit Izuku went through like the plague. He hates to acknowledge it and when he does it's sugarcoated (and used for Bakugou's gain, not Izuku's own). Because of he gets into the nitty gritty of it, his favorite blond rat's "development" goes right out the window.

Horikoshi wrote himself into a corner here, which is why the Izuku vs Tomura fight is so lackluster. Their interactions mean nothing, so their fight means nothing. What's his solution to this?

To fucking kill Tomura and retcon his entire backstory to force AFO back into the plot.

The last shreds of agency Tomura had as a villain were ripped away. He can't even have his own tragic backstory at this point. Hell, Kotaro can't even own his own shitty decisions, blame is pinned on Nana even though him abusing his kids was his choice and AFO somehow had a hand in him having kids?? Ok.

(Abusive man not being held accountable without someone else- a woman- taking the shit for it, what else is new in MHA)

Also, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN AFO GAVE HIM DECAY?

In all fairness, this has been a theory for a while. But again, the entire point of his character in the MLA arc was that he took charge of his "cursed" power and made it his own. So AFO giving him Decay erases another part of his development.

(And to add to this, what exactly was the point of having him take a quirk away from Tomura? Why not make him born quirkless so a parallel can be drawn to Izuku (and even Aoyama)? What is it with Horikoshi and quirkless aversion? There are four characters born quirkless in the narrative even though they're supposed to make up 20% of the population: Izuku, Aoyama, All Might, Melissa. Only Melissa stays quirkless)

AFO just happening upon Tomura- desperate, shunned, and vulnerable- who just happens to be Nana's grandson makes him so much eviler and more despicable. Him seeing an exposed child and deciding to use him to be cruel to Nana's memory and Toshinori drives home his callousness. Making it so that he orchestrated it just takes away from that. Tbh, it just makes him look like a loser. So, both Tomura and AFO just suffered character assassination.

Back to killing Tomura, do you know how awful this comes off? This character claimed his own power and goals, only for that to be stripped by making him a puppet, the attempt to save him is drawn out and goes nowhere, and then he just fucking dies. Like he never mattered at all. Like trying to save him was a complete waste of time and there's nothing about him worth saving.

And people saying he deserved to die for his crimes, THAT ISN'T THE POINT. It isn't about what he did or didn't do. I couldn't care less about that. It's about how Horikoshi stripped him of agency again and again and then discarded him when he didn't serve the shitty narrative he created.

Tomura and Izuku deserved so much better than this

[talistheintrovert]

okay i'm having thoughts about acting and specifically kissing in dramas.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT CHIMON BECAUSE IT COULD STILL BE AN ACTING CHOICE, it was just PROMPTED by seeing this discourse on my dash again (remember the outrage at the "dead fish kiss" in To My Star and then the egg on everybody's faces when that was a deliberate choice?)

I always gave it the benefit of the doubt btw

HOWEVER I do think, at this point, if you're gonna make ANY romance, and I'm not even talking just BL - you've gotta start learning to kiss properly.

I would genuinely rather a drama had NO kiss than had a bad one. Because if you've got great chemistry and a nothing kiss, it feels like a waste of chemistry. like. go girl, give us nothing! the chemistry vanishes in the blink of an eye because what was it all leading up to?

every single person in any show in any country needs to take a lesson from Nanon Korapat. that man had never done a BL before, probably won't ever do one again, and did not need to go as hard as he did, but he strutted in and kissed that man like he goddamn MEANT IT.

if you are an actor and you're not bringing this level of commitment, RESPECT YOUR CRAFT MORE!! you don't have any excuse not to!!

and I'm not saying that every show requires a full makeout sesh, they don't! the reason why I love kiss scenes so much (particularly as an ace person) is that it feels like a culmination and continuation of the characters' dynamics. characters kiss like THEMSELVES, which means actors can switch how they kiss between roles, because it's just another facet of *acting*.

Perth is actually a great example of this! So is Ohm Pawat, and Saint Suppapong!

And if we're straying out of Thailand, Ji Chang Wook does this well, as does Seo In Guk. Lee Junho, Park Minyoung, Chae Soobin, there are a lot of korean actors and actresses who've done this.

There are Western actors who are fantastic at this too - David Tennant, Billie Piper, Colin Firth, Chris Evans, Sarah Michelle Gellar etc. etc.

Kissing isn't just there to titillate audiences, or it shouldn't be. it's there because it's part of the STORY, part of these characters, and it MATTERS.

which is also why I'm hoping Chimon's response to the kiss was a deliberate choice because it doesn't make any sense for this man to not commit when his partner is renowned Great Dramatic Kisser, Perth Tanapon.

anygay-

[blackphanto]

The Anti-Blitzø party

Sorry for being absent for so long, p.s.: this is my take from this party, feel free to share yours

The episode: Apology Tour meets its climax when Stolas arrives at the Anti-Blitzø party Verosika invited him this year for being 'his freshest ex'. And like Stolas points out at all these demons chose to spend the one night of the year, where demons can come up freely on earth, celebrating mutual pettiness, which isn't exactly the case. Verosika claims she's hosting these parties to help those who got screwed over by Blitzø cope. She even admits to him that helping the others makes her feel less shitty for being mad at him.

This isn't inherently bad, she has the right idea, but is executing it wrong.

On one hand this party could be helping by allowing demons to let out their pain in whatever way they want; venting, drinking, rage, singing, random hookups, ... It's also a great party to meet up with new demons. After all "What did Blitzø do to you?", is a good conversation starter by the look of it.

However, it's not helpful when everything is just about hating and shitting on Blitzø. It creates a horrible obsession and antagonizes him. Not everyone there is 'healing' or moving on, they're holding their grudge against him and it becomes unhealthy. And I know that they're from hell so they don't know a healthier lifestyle, but that's not really an excuse.

Stolas & Verosika

This section is dedicated to my analysis on these 2, especially Verosika

Stolas gets uncomfortable at this party real, but is welcomed by a happy drunken Verosika, who tries to get him to open up and feel comfortable by saying he's among friends and that they all know his pain. Do they really tho? And he does! His song 'All 2 U' is a rock ballad that expresses how he feels about his whole situationship with Blitzø: "I don't think you meant to hurt me, cos I don't think it meant a thing at all to you" - he doesn't think Blitzø felt anything for him, might even think he didn't enjoy the sex or any of their other interaction. "But maybe it's all on me for missing every sign and every glance and every turn" - Stolas tries to put the blame on himself, which is something we often do when we love someone who did us wrong. We try to blame their bad behavior for something we did, even though we shouldn't feel responsible for their bad doing. "All these what if, what if, ..., makes me burn ❤️‍🔥!" - Stolas wants to blame himself, but it hurts. Self-blame is a coping mechanism that often comes from a childhood trauma and he is expressing the consequences of it, the overwhelming pain and intrusive emotions. And like he said to Blitzø this morning: "Seeing you is hard right now!"

In a way you could say that Verosika was helping him by putting the blame on Blitz, she didn't want Stolas to hurt himself over him: "No, no, no, he's a motherfucker!". Even in her own song she expresses what she truly feels over Blitzø, "Ever since you went away, I've been haunted... I always get whatever I want and I wanted you" - so there was in fact a point where Verosika loved him and we know it, it's the whole reason why he dumped her like that. And even after that break up she still wanted him, why? Because like she said she was haunted, she missed him and wanted something we all want when a person screwed us over, closure. Yet, she never got it which left her feeling upset and not knowing what to do about it:"I thought I could stomp you out, like a fire, like a flame. It's done now, but I'm covered in ashes and I still feel the same!" - she resulted in unhealthy coping mechanisms, like fighting Blitzø every time they crossed paths (Spring Broken & Ozzie), but it's not helping her heal her wounds. She even said: "The worst part is; you still make me feel like a bad person for being angry at you now." One could say that this is what inspired her to host these parties, the realization that she's not the only one dealing with these emotions, that she's not alone. There are other demons like her who have been wronged by Blitzø and never got closure. "Baby I'll get over it, I got over you..." - I think this is the message that she wants to send to everyone at this party: you might not get over the situation that fast, but you're definitely getting over him! Verosika herself got over Blitzø but her obsession comes from never getting over her relationship with him, never finding closure and that is definitely changing.

Speaking of the imp, Verosika and him having this very much needed conversation was good for either of them. He's realizing how shitty of a demon he was to others and wants to change, while she's forgiving and encouraging him in his new journey. I know I've been kind of shit talking Blitzø in this entire post, but he's also a victim of himself. So, please cut him some slack.

Don't know any other way of ending this post, but yeah thank you for reading it all the way through.

[eunxhan]

❝ A burden weighed heavy upon both their hearts, forging a bond neither could escape. ❞

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Ꮺ 💧 Requested ⨾ Hi Hi ♡♡! I would like to request a Ticci Toby fanfic, with a male reader who would be a friend of Toby's before he started homeschooling, and they ended up meeting again years later, when Toby was already a proxy. Like, Toby and the reader had been friends for a long time, but when the whole incident occurred the reader didn't hear from Toby anymore and thought he was dead, until they meet again!

I wish it was something platonic, I'm dying for just platonic comfort with this man. ૮꒰ྀི ᴗ͈ ˕ ᴗ͈ ꒱ྀིა I would also like to say that I love your writing and the whole aesthetic of your profile, it is so good to look at, and your writing is so good and consistent, I hope you are having a great night/day!! (feel free not to write if you don't like it!!) ♡꒰ ´ ` ഒ

Ꮺ Eun Replied ⨾ Hello, I adore your idea! I barely write for platonic and I'm so happy that I finally have a reason to write one— Although I made this fluff with angst at the end and I hope this is to your liking. Thank you also, I tried making my page organized and easy to find my works ^^ I may.. Or may not go overload with the back story yet I'm still not happy with what I came up with.

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Ꮺ Disclaimer — FLUFF, ANGST. UNHEALTHY FRIENDSHIP.

Reader & Genre ⨾ MALE!RDR. HE/HIM/HIS. PLATONIC.

Words used ⨾ 2,318 words 12,781 characters

Character ⨾ TOBIAS ERIN ROGERS. (TICCI TOBY)

Art Credits ⨾ @/6raveyardbat

Ꮺ Links ⨾ My Navigation and Mandates

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6-7 YEARS OLD —

Toby's life had always been filled with challenges, especially when it came to his health. He had always been prone to uncontrollable tics and twitches, which made it difficult for him to fit in with other children. He was often teased and ridiculed for his condition, and it made him feel like a social outcast. It wasn't until [M/N] came into his life that he finally found someone who he could connect with. [M/N] was kind, generous, and compassionate, in his eyes.

When the two boys first met, Toby was like a kitten abandoned under the rain and misunderstood in class. He had a condition that caused him to uncontrollably tic and twitch, and the other children at school bullied him endlessly. But something in [M/N] felt like he wants to take care of him, he saw the good in Toby and became 'friends' with him, even when it meant being bullied by others themselves. Although, it was hard to approach Toby. He looks at him as if he was prey, as if he wanted to do something to him but eventually he manage to get in Toby's side.

Toby was not nice or empathetic at all, he doesn't really understand why [M/N] get hurt when he said something so offensive and insulting. He doesn't understand why [M/N] cries when he slaps him. He was being treated like this, Why can't [M/N] handle it like he does?

11-12 YEARS OLD —

Toby was aware of how other kids treated [M/N], he was vulnerable and yet something in him snapped when a kid touched [M/N]. A kid that isn't him. Leading him to doing something awful. Yet [M/N] makes up excuses to find a reason why Toby had done that, as if he doesn't want to see the real Toby.

For as long as they could remember, [M/N] and Toby had shared a close bond. They had been each other's constant companions since the days of elementary school, and despite Toby's medical condition, [M/N] had never let that stop him from being a true friend. Although their homes were separated by only a few blocks, before and after school, he was right Infront of Toby's window. [M/N] would often make the trek to be with Toby. They would often spend their weekends or even some weekdays after school together, enjoying one another's company. Sometimes, they would talk for hours on end, always finding a way to have their conversation even when they were physically apart. [M/N] would find a spot where he could view Toby's window, and they would talk with each other just by using a pen and paper. Despite their limited means of communication, they never cared how long they spoke, for they knew that their bond was unbreakable.

This friendship has now become a testament of true friendship, not only to Toby and [M/N] themselves, but to everyone who has witnessed their journey. Though everything isn't always happy, this leads him to feeding his delusions, like he was making up scenarios about the both of them. Toby thinking if they keep being like this, nothing will come to them.

[M/N] had always been aware of the hardships that Toby faced in his home life. He knew that his father was an alcoholic and often took his frustrations out on the rest of the family. Toby would rarely talk about what went on in his home, but [M/N] knew that it couldn't have been easy for him. When Toby was caught talking to him, [M/N] was enraged at the unfairness. The fact that Toby was punished by his father and prevented from going to school for a week because of something so simple and innocent was unacceptable. It only served to further solidify [M/N] determination to stand by Toby and support him through thick and thin, no matter how difficult it might be.

[M/N] had always been a gentle presence in Toby's life, always reminding him to take care of himself. He would often check up on Toby to make sure he was eating enough, and would gently remind him to avoid bad habits like chewing his inside cheeks or not taking care of himself. His acts of kindness and compassion were never ceasing, and they often helped keep Toby on the right track.

Toby's mother is grateful to have [M/N] in her son's life yet also afraid about what would happen to him. She know her son well enough, the episodes, the outbursts, she knew. A pure boy like [M/N], Toby will just suck that out of him. For His Sister Lyra? She was overjoyed, she sees you almost everyday outside just to talk to Toby and she covers you up whenever their dad spot you. She talks to you sometimes outside, she was so happy to see you everytime.

However, when [M/N] 's guardian finally found out about him getting bullied for protecting Toby, things took a turn for the worst. It wasn't the first time they heard him getting bullied, none of the teachers were doing anything. His guardian made it clear that they did not approve of their friendship and told [M/N] to avoid Toby at all costs to the point they're moving out. [M/N] , heartbroken and throwing a fit, could not help but feel devastated at the thought of losing his only friend and constant companion.

The news that Toby was being placed in homeschooling only served to amplify his sadness, forcing him to come to terms with the possibility of not seeing his dear friend ever again, it was the final nail in the coffin - [M/N] was devastated knowing he was losing the one person who had always been there for him.

Toby's reaction to his mother's decision to put him in homeschooling is both one of anger and confusion. On one hand, he may view homeschooling as a relief from the bullying he was facing at school, but he was frustrated that he was being separated from his closest friend, [M/N]. Why would she let him get away from [M/N].. He was doing so fine with him? What Toby doesn't see, [M/N] was also suffering from the bullying he was receiving just by Toby's condition getting worse would likely result in him feeling less capable of handling everyday life, which may impact his overall mood and emotions. As such, his reaction could be interpreted as feeling overwhelmed or even hopeless, as he may feel alone and without proper support in such a challenging time..

But as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, [M/N] started to lose hope. He couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened to Toby, but he didn't know what. And the thought that he might never see his best friend again was too painful to bear.

17 YEARS OLD —

[M/N] was consumed by guilt and regret; it had been weeks even months since he last spoke to Toby, and he couldn't help but wonder if the worst had happened. No matter how hard he tries to communicate, he had nothing. He even thinks Toby was dead. The thought of losing his best friend, the person who had always been there for him through thick and thin, was unbearable, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was somehow at fault.

Right when [M/N] hears the news about the car accident, he felt his heart drop down to his stomach. A combination of shock, worry, and grief. His immediate concern will be for the safety and well-being of Toby and his sister, and he want to know more details about the accident as soon as possible but [M/N] 's guardian never let him be close to the Rogers'.

It was like everything happened in just a second. This tragic series of events would understandably leaving the poor guy feeling a wide range of emotions - shock, distress, and a deep sense of loss. The death of Toby's father.. And two weeks later, there was few missing or injured teens and one of the suspects was Toby? He was being consumed by worry for Toby's safety and well-being, and the thought of him being controlled by something unknown would further enhance his sense of helplessness and fear.

But something in him had hope, Toby was still alive.

18-19 YEARS OLD —

He decided to take action. He dug through every news article and police report he could find, searching for any sign of Toby's whereabouts. He scoured the streets, asking anyone and everyone if they had seen him, but there was no trace.

With nothing to go on, [M/N] decided to take the search into his own hands, even if it meant putting himself at risk. He scoured the woods and forests, calling out for Toby's name, hoping against hope that he would hear a reply.

And that was it, He saw Toby.. [M/N] was devastated to see what Toby had become. The boy who he had once known as his best friend was now a monster with a thirst for murder, a proxy for some unknown force. But [M/N] refused to give up on Toby - he knew that somewhere deep down, there was still a glimmer of the friend he had once known.

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The brisk air bites at his face as leaves crunch underneath. Hearing random noises that animals makes, cold wind hits his face. Snaps. he heard, making him turn to the direction where he heard the branch snaps. He sees a man around 5'6, with an old hatchet. [M/N] stumbled upon Toby in the dense forest, a wave of confusion washed over him. His pale face is covered by goggles and a mouthguard, a bit of brunette hair visible that made [M/N] question if that was Toby or not. He had known Toby from a previous life, a time when they were friends, sharing laughter and memories that seemed like a distant memory. Now, however, Toby was a changed man, his once-cheerful demeanor replaced by a cold, calculating gaze.

Toby's eyes widened at the sight of the [M/N], he tried to conceal his emotions. He didn't want the [M/N] to see him in this state, as a proxy and a killer. He truly didn't want to see the man now, after all he have done to run away and escape. Bitterness bubbled in his chest as he remembered the [M/N] departure, the weight of betrayal still heavy on his heart.

"Toby," the [M/N] was cut off by Toby. "W-Why are you here?!" He yelled, making the other flinch. "I was looking for you! You disappeared, and after seeing the news.. I-.. I—" Toby's eyes blazed with anger, his voice rasping as he replied, "Mmm-me?! You left me in the dust, [N/N]. You chose to walk away, and now I'm stuck in this hellhole, killl—ling for my survival."

[M/N] and Toby stared at each other, the weight of their history hung heavy in the air. [M/N] 's heart ached at the sight of his former friend, his thoughts racing as he tried to piece together the events that led to this moment. He can't even walk closer, Toby isn't the same anymore. Not with a hatchet on his hand.

"Your face..." The boy whispered, his eyes widening as he took in Toby's gruesome visage. Blood caked his features, and his eyes held a haunted look that seemed to go beyond the physical damage.

Toby voice shook with anger and desperation, "Sta—y back! You don't want to see this!"

[M/N] hesitated, his gut churning as he considered the offer to help. The police were the last thing Toby needed, and he knew that his own involvement could have severe repercussions. "I... I won't tell anyone," he promised, taking a step forward. "We can leave this place and find a way to fix it. Whatever happened, we can get through it together."

But Toby response was immediate, his hatchet raised in warning. The brunette faltered, his heart pounding in his chest. He could see the fear in Ticci's eyes, a fear that was palpable and all-consuming. "You don't understand," Toby whispered hoarsely, his voice cracking with emotion.

Toby was angry, confused, frustrated. He wants [M/N] out of here, he was angry because of him going to such a dangerous place like here. He would never ever want to see the boy be trapped like he was. "Please, Toby," [M/N] pleaded, his voice trembling with compassion. "I'm here to help you. We can run, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Just put the hatchet down, and we can figure this out together. We can go back."

"Do nnnot bring the past!" Toby's eyes searched the young man's face, his own filled with doubt and uncertainty. He could see the sincerity in the other boy's gaze, a shimmer of hope that pierced through the darkness clouding his mind. "I don't need—need to go, All I want is you to get out of here!" he snapped again, his voice cracking. He hated this feeling, it was a long time that he felt something like this again.

"I can't leave you here, Tobias ," [M/N] insisted, his voice filled with determination. "I owe you that much."

Toby's eyes hardened, hearing that name made his blood boil. his voice sharp as he retorted, "Don't you see? This is why you must leave! I can't let you get hurt because of me!— if the others se—es you— they'll —"

"Others?" [M/N] spoke, his heart aching at Toby's words. Who's them? There's more? Toby is with them? He wanted to help, to make things right for the man who had once been his friend. But he also understood the pain that drove Toby, the fear that had taken root in his heart.

"Who's them..? ," he said softly, stepping back.

To be continued...

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Ꮺ ⨾ I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORK BEING COPIED OR TRANSLATED.