#reason why he's done it and isn't meant to excuse it at all as that would be pretty screwed up but i shall tag this post accordingly even

[mad-hunts]

so, i'm gonna give y'all a warning for this post immediately because i have yet to talk about this on here besides with one or two people, and the last thing i want to do is make anyone uncomfortable... but if you believe that cannibalism is a trigger for you then please do not continue beyond this point. for those of you who are okay with it, though, let me start by saying this:

barton does engage in cannibalistic acts sometimes, and this is actually one of the few, if not the only sources of shame that he feels in response to the heinous acts that he commits pretty much on the daily. and this is because he believes himself that it is disgusting and not something to be proud of; so, in a way, it does kind of demonstrate that he has some humanity left in him albeit in a very unsavory way and that's mainly why i wanted to bring it up. because his relationship with this part of him... well, it really isn't good, for lack of better words. which is understandable considering cannibalism is a rather big taboo in society, but it has become somewhat of a compulsion for him. not to excuse it in ANY capacity, of course. that is honestly just the best word i could use to describe it as i've done some research about it and, like other serial killers, barton is SO perpetually lonely that by consuming his victims -- it makes him feel like he is no longer so alone anymore as he will always be able to 'carry' a part of them with him that way, so-to-speak, and they'll never be able to leave him.

now this is obviously not the way to go about dealing with his loneliness at all, as it is extremely messed up both morally and honestly, just wrong as a human being to do. but i also believe that there are other factors at work regarding his tendency to sometimes cannibalize his victims, and that is that because of the trauma he endured at the hands of his biological father (wesley mathis) whom forced him to eat people with him. it could sort of function as a very unhealthy coping mechanism for him to navigate that complex trauma; and this is because it may serve as an attempt for him to restore a sense of control over himself that he felt was stolen from him as a child, since he had no choice but to engage in it. plus, interestingly enough, antisocial personality traits are often an underlying element in those who divulge in cannibalistic acts. and cannibals in one study have been found to have more cases of abuse / have more family members who are criminals, so this could also be indicative that his environmental upbringing very well could have a hand in his subsequent (occasional) cannibalism after he commits his killings.

i also thought i would mention that, despite his apparent depravity, barton has taken extra care not to expose his own children to the same trauma that he had to suffer from as a result of wesley (what with the 'hunting trips' that they went on) and he would NEVER want his kids to see him eating people. so, although it still is unquestionably wrong for him to be cannibalizing people, things are a little complicated in that regard. while i'm talking about it, for my closing thought, i'd like to say that the police does highly suspect that the dollmaker is a cannibal but they haven't been able to confirm it as of yet. though i'd imagine that most of the underground knows that he cannibalizes people because rumors can be spread quite quickly, and i can totally imagine the way in which people found out being that they were unfortunate enough to have to stumble upon barton just... eating someone. and a lot more casually than one should probably be about it, because half of the time, he doesn't even remember that he's done it afterward because his mind literally just blocks it out. but that's something i shall expand on more later

[sematarygirls]

      BOYFRIEND!RAFE x DEPRESSED!READER

WARNINGS .ᐟ depression, rafe gives reader a bath, but it's not sexual, fluff, the teeniest bit of angst if you squint at the beginning

NOTES .ᐟ this isn't my best work, but i'm writing it more for comfort than anything else, and i wanted to post it just in case anyone out there is also struggling and could use it <3

Something was up, and Rafe could tell. You were usually so clingy, wanting to spend every moment with him, and he was not complaining by any means. He loved having his girl at his side, showing her off at every occasion, but it had been almost two weeks since he last saw you, which was so very out of the ordinary.

You would answer his texts at first, always coming up with some excuse for why you couldn't see him. First, you were sick. He offered to come over and take care of you, but you'd insisted that you didn't want him to catch whatever you had, so he eventually acquiesced and settled on checking in on you periodically.

But then, your responses slowly became more and more infrequent. Rafe was at a loss. Had he done something to upset you? Why were you being so cold and distant? He couldn't think of any fights you two had recently. Everything seemed perfect until you started pulling away out of the blue.

He texted you to tell you he was coming over, but you hadn't seen it by the time he showed up at your house, all but pounding on the door. He was a little angry, very annoyed, and more than a bit jealous. Were you with some other guy in there? Is that why you hadn't been answering him.

Those feelings immediately dissipated, however, when the door slowly creaked open and you peeked out. Your hair was tangled and greasy, haphazardly thrown up and out of the way. You had dark circles under your eyes and a small frown on your face, your brows pinching when you saw him.

His expression softened as he softly murmured your name. You stepped back, allowing him inside, and he shut the door behind him, his eyes never leaving your disheveled form. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked gently, approaching you like he would a skiddish animal.

"You shouldn't have come," you said quietly, your gaze downcast. You were embarrassed that he was seeing you like this. The whole reason you'd been avoiding him was so he wouldn't see this part of you—the part that struggled to get out of bed whenever a major depressive episode hit.

He ignored your words, stepping closer and tilting your chin up, so he could look at you. "Talk to me, sweetheart," he coaxed softly. "Is this why you've been dodging my calls and texts?"

You nodded slowly, feeling guilty. You hadn't meant to ignore him, but texting people had become a chore as of late. You couldn't bring yourself to do it, to have to explain why you were acting so off. You just wanted to shut out the world and wallow in your misery.

He sighed, his thumbs coming up to caress your cheeks gently. He hated seeing you like this. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to take away all your sorrow and make you happy again. "Why didn't you tell me, baby?"

"I just- I didn't want you to see me like this," you said softly. "I look like shit. It's gross and pathetic..."

"Hey, don't say that shit about yourself, alright?" he said firmly. "You're beautiful, always, and you're not pathetic. You're going through a hard time and that's okay. I'm here for you, baby."

You looked up at him, your eyes glistening with unshed tears at his words. He was so gentle, so understanding and patient. He was perfect, and you were... you.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "I'm gonna run you a warm bath, okay? Gonna wash your hair and get you all cleaned up."

"You don't have to do that," you said quietly. You didn't want to be a burden, for him to feel like he had to take care of you just because you were dating.

"I know that, but I want to, alright? Just-Just let me take care of you, yeah?" He stared at you expectantly, waiting until you gave him a reluctant nod before he took your hand and pulled you toward the bathroom. "Sit," he ordered, pointing to the lowered toilet seat.

You complied, sitting and watching him as he turned the water on, testing the temperature with his hand and adjusting it until it was just the way he knew you liked it before he flipped the drain stopper. He poured in some of your favorite scented bubble bath, waiting for the water to fill the tub.

He turned back to you, kneeling down to take your hands in his. "Okay baby, let's get you undressed and in the tub, yeah? I'll wash your hair for you."

You chewed your lip nervously, looking at him with uncertainty. You were hardly in any shape to be perceived by anyone, let alone your perfect boyfriend. You couldnt remember the last time you shaved your body or did any personal grooming for that matter. You'd just been so physically and mentally drained as of late.

He cupped your cheek, gently using his thumb to pull your lower lip from your teeth. He hated when you did that, always saying you were ruining your pretty lips. "You're always gorgeous to me," he reassured you. "I don't care what you look like. Right now, I just wanna take care of my girl, alright?"

You hesitated but nodded. "Okay," you said softly. You knew he was just trying to help, and you also knew you desperately needed your hair washed before it reached the point of no return. You'd hated how bad you'd let it get, but you couldn't bring yourself to even attempt the attention and effort that detangling and washing would entail.

With careful movements, Rafe helped ease your shirt over your head, revealing your bare skin to his gaze. His expression was non judgemental, his touch reverent as he helped you out of your clothes. "You're doing so good, baby," he murmured, his words soothing the nerves that were bubbling in your stomach. "In you go," he said, once you were finally out of your dirty clothes.

You stepped into the warm bath, the hot water and calming smell helping you relax a fraction. You pulled your knees to your chest with a soft sigh. You were so sensitive and vulnerable in that moment, and Rafe's kindness made your chest tighten and your eyes mist.

He smiled softly at you, the picture of a loyal, caring boyfriend. He would do anything for you. "There you go, sweetheart. Gonna feel so much better after a nice long bath." He knelt beside the tub, running his hand over your hunched back soothingly for a few moments.

He let you get adjusted and relaxed before reaching for your hair tie, gently pulling it out and revealing your tangled hair. You closed your eyes, waiting for some remark about how you need to take better care of yourself or how your hair was a mess, but it never came. "Alright baby, let's get this pretty hair washed for you," was all he said, his tone soft and comforting. "Can you lean back for me?"

You nodded, unfurling yourself from your curled up position and leaning back, letting your hair soak up the water. "There you go," he murmured, making sure your hair was thoroughly wetted before helping you sit back up straight. He reached for the conditioner, coating your hair in an ungodly amount and running it through the strands as best he could to help soften your hair and make it easier to detangle before grabbing a wide tooth comb. "This might hurt a little, baby. I'm sorry, but you'll feel so much better when we're all done."

He worked meticulously, starting at the ends and slowly, carefully working out each knot and tangle, murmuring soft apologies whenever he hit a bad one that tugged at your scalp. He had experience with this kind of thing, having helped Wheezie with her hair a lot when she was a kid. He was so gentle and patient, making sure he didn't pull too hard.

It made you grateful because if you were doing this yourself, you already knew you would've gotten frustrated and started practically ripping your hair out as you roughly yanked the comb through your hair until you were in tears.

The fact that he regarded you with a tenderness and compassion you didn't even award yourself made your heart swell with love, but it also made guilt tug at you. This was the man that you'd been ignoring—this man that was so attentive and loved you so much.

"You're doing so good, baby. I know it hurts, but you're being so brave for me. I'm so proud of you," he said gently, continuing to work through your hair. He didn't show any signs that he was getting frustrated or annoyed, he just continued to hold himself with pure adoration and care for you.

His sweet words made tears well up in your eyes. You didn't understand how you could ever deserve someone like him, someone who loved you completely and unconditionally. His words of assurance were something you'd desperately needed to hear after weeks of listening to your own brain demean and demoralize you.

"There we go, sweetheart. All done. You did so well," he praised you gently as he finally finished up, running the comb through the last of the tangles. He helped you lean back, rinsing the conditioner. He made sure to get all the excess product out before helping you sit back up, reaching for the shampoo bottle.

He squirted a generous amount onto his palm, lathering it in his hands and applying it into your scalp. He washed it out and applied more until it started to froth up, signaling that your hair was finally getting clean.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly as he worked the shampoo into your hair, his fingers massaging your scalp in slow, soothing circles. You felt guilty for a lot of things, for ignoring him, for making him spend his time on you like this, for being this way in the first place. Your brain had convinced you that you were a burden on everyone around you, and you hated the thought of Rafe having to put up with you when he could have any other normal girl.

His hands stilled in your hair, and he tiled your head so you were looking at him. His expression was serious, deadly so, and for a moment, you thought he was mad at you. "Don't. Don't you ever apologize, okay? You've got absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You understand me?"

You nodded, his words and actions meaning more to you than he could ever know. He always knew what to say, what to do to make you feel better. He made you feel important and loved, and you needed that, especially right now. "Thank you."

His gaze softened, a gentle smile spreading across his handsome features. "You don't need to thank me, baby. Caring for you is the easiest thing in the world. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes—so beautiful, inside and out."

After throughly massaging your scalp, he washed out the shampoo, applying a final layer of conditioner to ensure your hair stayed soft and retained moisture. "Do you wanna wash your body, or do you want me to?" He asked gently. He wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible, and if you would be too embarrassed with him touching you like that, he respected it.

"I can- um- I can do it," you said quietly. He had already done so much for you already, and as much as you loved being doted on and cared for, it didn't erase the nerves and insecurity that were swirling through your mind.

"Okay, sweetheart. Take your time. I'm right here if you need anything at all," he reassured you. You washed up and rinsed the conditioner out of your hair, the water uncomfortably cold by the time you were done since detangling had taken forever.

Rafe was ready with a towel by the time you were finished. "Come on, baby, let's get you out. You're probably freezing," he said, helping you up and wrapping the towel around you, rubbing the material against your skin to help warm you up before grabbing a separate towel to help you dry off your hair.

You let him take care of you, drying you off before steering you to your bedroom to get dressed. He knew your drawer set up by heart, having helped you put your clean clothes away more than once. "You really don't have to do all that," you mumbled, watching him carefully choose some comfortable, clean clothes for you.

"I already told you that I want to," he said firmly, plucking out your favorite pajamas. "Now, we're gonna get you dressed and settle in on the couch because we gotta get you out of this bed. It's not good for you to stay in it all day," he told you, helping you into your clean clothes. You felt a little silly being assisted getting dressed and undressed, but you were so appreciative that he cared enough about you to help you like this.

"Sorry for the... mess," you said, wincing as you glanced around at your dirty room. It looked like a disaster area, and you only just now seemed to clock how bad it was.

"I already told you to quit apologizing," he gently scolded you. "We can clean it up later, together, but right now, we're going to go watch some TV and get some food in you, okay?"

You nodded, mustering a small smile. "I love you, Rafe," you said, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest.

"I love you too, baby, so so much," he murmured. His strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him as he rested his chin on the top of your head. You inhaled his scent, a smell that was distinctly his and always seemed to calm and relax you, his tight grip on you serving to ground you in that moment, reminding you that there are people who cherish you even in your darkest days.

tags .ᐟ   @starkeysprincess / @cometmultiverse / @iheartjjmaybnk / @all4l0vee / @kissesfrmriri / @xoxohoneymoongirl / @bradshawed / @fallbhind / @rafeslittleangel / @bakugouswaif

[slayfics]

You tend to Katsuki.

1k words

You sat in the common room of the dorms making yourself busy at one of the tables studying. Absentmindedly you turned the pages of your book and scanned the materials, not actually digesting any of the information.

Secretly, you weren't concerned with studying. Your actual reason for hanging around the common room was to wait for Katsuki to come back. It was Saturday, which meant he was with Shoto at their supplemental classes to make up for not passing the provisional licensing exam.

Finally, after what seemed like too long, Katsuki came bursting through the door. An annoyed expression on his face as he turned to yell some obscenities back at Shoto.

Shoto followed him through the front door and Katsuki turned sharply away from him. It was apparent that Katsuki was eager to get away from the two-toned-haired boy.

Katsuki glanced over at you briefly but kept making his way through the common room. His cheek had a large bandage that was already turning crimson from whatever wound was on the other side.

You watched as the two boys split ways, Shoto made his way over to talk to Hanta and Katsuki vanished into the elevators to go up to his room.

You waited a moment before texting Katsuki.

[You]: That looks like a nasty cut. What happened?

[Katsuki]: I hate texting. Just come up.

You happily shut your book and rushed over to his dorm.

Knocking gently, you heard Katsuki's irritated yell on the other side, "Told ya already- just come in."

You opened the door and were met with the sight of him putting away the belongings he brought to the extra classes today. The bandage on his cheek being in better view, you could see that it was in desperate need of being tended to.

"That looks even worse up close," You stated.

"Tch- It's not even a big deal," he replied, downplaying the injury.

"How did it happen?" You asked.

Katsuki grunted as he finished putting away his stuff and sat down on the edge of his bed, "Some dumb ass training where we couldn't use our quirks. What the fuck is the point of that?!" He said irritated.

"Sounds like your worst nightmare," you laughed trying to lighten his mood. You fixated your eyes back on the bandage and the blood stain that now soaked through. "Why don't you let me change that for you?" You offered.

"HAH? I can do that myself idiot," he said being stubborn.

"I know you can but- I need practice. Tending to wounds is a part of hero work too, right? So- let me practice on you," you suggested, hoping that excuse would change his mind.

Katsuki thought for a moment before shrugging his shoulders in agreement, "First aid is in the bathroom cabinet," he said gesturing to the bathroom.

You rummaged through his cabinet to find another bandage and antiseptic ointment. "I don't think I've ever done this for someone else before," you stated as you came back into the room and sat next to him on the bed.

"It isn't hard," Katsuki huffed. Resting his elbows on his thighs as he kept his gaze straight forward giving you better access to his cheek.

You scooted closer and crossed your legs onto the bed to tend to his wound. "These classes have really been a pain for you, hu?" You asked, gently peeling away the soiled badge on his cheek.

Katsuki clicked his tongue annoyed by your comment, "It's nothing I can't handle!" He barked, eyebrows furrowed, and nose scrunched.

You giggled at his response, "Such a tough guy," you teased and squeezed some of the antiseptic ointment onto your finger. "You know- it can be both things. Something you can handle and a pain at the same time."

Katsuki opened his mouth ready to make another snarky comment when your finger met his wound. Any snide remark he had ready, vanished at the gentle way your finger grazed over his cut. Eyebrows softened, and shoulders dropped he let out a sigh.

The ointment stung, but he wasn't focused on that at all. Instead, he was focused on the way his heart rate increased the second you made contact with him. He hated it- but wanted more at the same time.

"What? Going speechless on me now?" You asked teasing his sudden muteness. You prepared the new bandage and got it ready to place over his wound.

"No," he grunted, voice lower than before. Another moment passed before he spoke, "The classes are a pain. God dam Icy Hot gets on my nerves. Acting like we're friends now just because we're in these shitty classes together. He makes everything a hundred times worse." Katsuki explained as you gently pressed the new bandage on to his cheek.

You smiled at Katsuki's honesty and decided to tease him further. "Wait- you mean he isn't your best friend? That's strange he's been telling everyone that."

"The fuck? Are you serious?" Katsuki asked, turning to you, his eyes catching yours. Noticing for the first time how close you really were to him, his cheeks flushed.

You smiled and a giggle escaped you. Immediately he recognized the amusement on your face. If it was anyone else, he'd blow a fuse but- with you, he was distracted by the way your smile lit up your eyes and the way your laughter forced him to smile too.

"Tch- brat. Don't mess with me like that," he said and playfully shoved your shoulder, causing you to laugh even harder.

"I'm sorry- I couldn't help it," you said in between giggles.

If you weren't laughing so hard maybe you would have noticed the soft smile Katsuki had or the way his cheeks warmed slightly.

"Whatever-," he said brushing off his emotions. "You eat yet?" He asked.

"Nope," you answered laughter subsiding.

"Good- let's go downstairs I'll make us something." He offered.

sinners: @queenpiranhadon @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @i-heart-carlisle @derangedmango @matchat3a @bakugouswaif @reneinii @peachsukii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99

[hughiecampbelle]

The Boys Preference: Breaking Their Trust

Requested: Hello, I hope you're doing good :> could I request something for the boys with a reader who accidentally break their trust ? (I'm in the mood for some angst 💀) Take your time, and don't forget to rest ! - @stinkysam

Requested: please write preference for the boys + homelander reaction to your betrayal Thank you 💓 - anon

A/N: I hope you don't mind my loves, I combined the requests just because the posts would be really similar :) I live for angst!!!! Thank you for requesting! I really hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated! 💜💜💜

Butcher was kind of expecting it. After all he's done to the group, turning your back on him wasn't such a huge surprise. He's been an ass lately. Selfish and erratic and stubborn and generally unkind. Going against him was your way of showing him his behavior was unacceptable. He can't blame you. He knows what he's been like, he knows he's basically unrecognizable, but he has a good reason for it. He's never felt the need to explain himself to others, especially not you, so even if he thinks it's all justified, you have no idea. He knows you have never agreed with him on anything, but this is just too far. Both of you have gone too far. Because you're going against Butcher, the rest of your friends are behind you in your decisions. They all agree with you. He's lost it. It's the right decision to betray him.

Hughie can't believe it. Butcher, he would have guessed. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last time that he's betrayed the group. But you? He wants to ask you why. He wants to know why you did what you did. There's gotta be a reason, a good reason, something to rationalize your decisions. No one else thinks so, though. No one else believes you had a reason. And they tell him this. No one wants to hear the excuses you have for why you did what you did. Only Hughie does. He doesn't care if it's silly or stupid or whatever. He just wants to know why. It kills him that you did this, but it hurts even more than you might not even have a reason. You might very just have done it because you did, because you felt like it.

Annie is speechless. You try so hard to explain yourself, why you went behind their backs for your own self interest, but she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to see you. You beg her to listen, but she's done. She trusted you with everything and instead of returning the favor, you used it against her. She's sick. Sick of the betrayal, sick of you, sick of idiotic justifications you've come up with. She refuses to acknowledge you, ordering you to get out, to leave and never come back. You never meant to hurt her. You never meant to break her trust. You truly thought what you were doing was the right thing. She couldn't and wouldn't understand. You could explain until you were blue in the face, she wouldn't hear it. She was done with you.

M.M. isn't shocked. You've always done what you wanted when you wanted. You've always gone about your business without thinking about others, even those closest to you. Still, that didn't mean he wasn't hurt. He thought, he hoped, after everything you've gone through, you would at least come to him first before deciding to do something so crazy, something so selfish. You hurt your friends in the process, all of them reeling from your mistakes. He's one of them, though he tries not to show it. He has to be there for everyone else, he has to be safe and solid and dependable. It's up to him to show them that there is still someone they can trust, someone who will take care of them and look after them and be there no matter what. You fucked up. You burned bridges. You turned someone the kindest people against you for reasons he can't understand. It's up to him to clean up your mess.

Frenchie is in denial. You would never do anything like this. You would never turn your back on them, on him, no matter the reason. But you did! Everyone is trying to tell him, to get it through to him, to make him see that this version of you in his head no longer exists. He's more than hurt. Butcher would have done this, everyone was basically expecting it at this point, but not you. Never you. Frenchie begs you to explain. There's gotta be a good reason, right? There's gotta be something that made you turn on everyone you loved and cared for. It crushes him that you don't. Your justification is flimsy at best. You did it out of your own self interest. What could be more selfish than that? He refuses to believe it, coming up with fantastical reasons as to why you betrayed them. He could imagine all he wanted, it didn't help at all. You still did what you did.

Kimiko shuts down. After everything you've gone through, together and separately, she truly thought the bond and trust you had would never break. That it would last forever. You were in this together, you promised. And yet, you did this. She doesn't want to believe it. She doesn't want it to be true. When you try to talk to her, to explain yourself, she shuts you out. She shuts everyone out. If she can't depend on you, trust you, the most important person in her life, then is there anyone she can rely on? She comes to the conclusion that no one is safe. No one is worth trusting. She goes back to her old ways, blocking everyone out. The Boys aren't sure what to do, how to help. You were the one with all the answers and now you're gone. Shut out.

Bonus! Homelander thinks you're dead to him. If you don't disappear quick enough, you will be. He was convinced Webweaver was the mole. So, he got rid of him. Eliminated the problem. But the issues didn't stop after he died. It was after you left, quietly, silently, nonchalantly, that Sage pointed out the mole wasn't Webweaver or A-Train or even Ashley, it was you. All along it was you. Sage told him not to overreact, to think this through, that this was all part of her plan, but Homelander was outraged. He would hunt you down and kill you as slowly and painfully as possible. You didn't just hurt his feelings, you betrayed him. You disrespected your friendship, your relationship, your bond. You lied right to his face and he had no idea. Now you would pay. He didn't care what Sage had planned, he would make you realize just what you've done to the most powerful Supe in the world.

[bokvshou]

i loved the stolitz scene. all the conflict begins with blitzø almost refusing to return the book, and it's like... but it's not all about the book, is it? blitzø needs the book to work, yes, but it's also an excuse to be with stolas without having to accept that he WANTS to see him. for blitzø it's the perfect excuse to not deal with his own feelings because "well, i HAVE to, i made a deal, i'm obligated".

leaving the full weight of their relationship on their deal (the book) means that blitzø can take the blame off of anything. he needs that shield, that excuse, to keep avoiding facing the situation, "nothing that happens can be my fault if i'm being forced to be here, right?"

he's scared. makes sense, considering that he thinks all the failure he's had in his relationships to have been his fault. PLUS, the book serves as a guarantee that stolas won't leave him because "that's the deal, isn't it? as long as i have the book he wants me".

so asking for the book back is a threat to that state of conformity blitzø feels. it means he would have to finally accept he wants stolas, his feelings, and a relationship where everything he does, good or bad, would be his own decision, with all its consequences.

asking for the book back is breaking the deal, which also means (in blitzø's head) stolas doesn't want him anymore, and it's a rejection. that's why despite having a new option to go to earth, as soon as blitzø heard that it meant no longer seeing stolas he felt unhappy.

if blitzø didn't care, he wouldn't have reacted like that as soon as he heard stolas say "you don't have to stay here with me". it really scared him to think that he no longer had a reason (an excuse) to keep visiting stolas, he felt rejected, but he also refuses to believe that anyone can love HIM, he even thinks stolas is joking, and he panics when he realizes that's not the case bc that bitch HATES himself lemme tell you that. this is a mess and i'm just yapping bc i feel you buddy.

so, what happens when blitzø refuses to accept his own vulnerability, is terrified of commitment, and doesn't consider himself to have any kind of value worth worth loving? self sabotage! he gets defensive, says shit without thinking.

and that's how he ends up hurting the person he didn't want to hurt. blitzø quickly regrets it, but what's done is done, and all that's left is a painful emptiness and silence. let's go BPD king.

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY DORIAN PAVUS  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age inquisition, updated version

i don't care what they think about me. i care what they think about us.

i like you. more than i should. more than might be wise.

discretion isn't your thing, is it?

all this dancing, politics, and murder makes me a bit homesick.

i suppose it really depends. how bad do you want to be?

living a lie... it festers inside of you, like poison.

i'm a man of many talents. what can i say?

the moment i saw you, i thought "there's a man who knows quality."

if you don't come through this, i swear i'll kill you.

i'm curious where this goes, you and i. we've had fun. perfectly reasonable to leave it here.

here is my proposal: we dispense with the chitchat and move on to something more primal.

i tease you too much, i know.

i'll have to find something we can do that doesn't involve teasing.

time to drink myself into a stupor. it's been that sort of day.

i see you enjoy playing with fire.

i like playing hard to get.

i'm not suggesting we venture into mutual domesticity.

if it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone. you're good at that.

talk to me. let me hear how mystified you are by my anger.

oh, i'm not arguing. just pointing out the ridiculously obvious.

if you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, i may or may not come.

now... what was i talking about? ah, yes. me.

i am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts.

i prefer the company of men.

would you prefer me bound and leashed?

sometimes the ones you love are also the ones who disappoint you the most.

you are the man i love, [name]. nothing will truly keep us apart.

the things you ask are just... very personal.

sometimes... love isn't enough.

there will always be an "us." we'll just be... farther apart, for a time.

i had no idea something like you was possible.

i'm imagining what you would look like in a dress.

i've never seen you smile so much!

i have no idea what you're talking about.

you stand there, flexing your muscles, huffing like some beast of burden with no thought save conquest.

you're shaping the world for good or ill. how could i aspire to do any less?

my footsies are freezing, thank you.

don't you ever bathe?

you're not suggesting we're similar.

watch where you're pointing that thing!

i'm not wearing a skirt.

it's significantly more impressive than hitting them with a sharp piece of metal.

i only meant to say i'm very sorry for your loss.

we can continue this dance forever, if you wish.

i'm saying we should be careful what we assume when it comes to such matters.

demons don't appreciate a man with good hair.

what i wouldn't give for some proper wine.

your outfit's entertaining. i'll give you that.

he had to leave early on account of assassination.

it's nice to know you have friends.

i'm here to do what is right.

come on, just answer the question.

they were asking me about you. personal things.

you said we'd be ass-deep in trouble. this is more like knee-high.

so what's your estimation? think we can win?

you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.

you startled me. you're always so... nondescript.

you're a special and unique snowflake. live the dream.

i wanted to see you make flowers bloom with your song. just once.

you've done a lot less dancing naked in the moonlight than expected.

i've never seen anyone in this part of the world do it.

i realize there's more to you than that.

have i offended you?

for hating the outdoors, you sure seem to like bad weather.

i can't figure you out, [name].

you don't play their stupid game, they send an assassin or three your way.

i can't believe you're scared of magic.

i'm going to take that as a compliment.

still don't like me, [name]? after all this time?

[name], i owe you an apology.

i suspect people will use any excuse to hate us.

why be ashamed? power should be respected, not swept under the carpet.

maybe you're not a complete moron.

i just need to know you're capable of higher thought. for my own comfort.

it would take work. and soap. lots and lots of soap.

[blood-starved-beast]

Something that is lost in all the discourse around Arcane s2 Jinx, her relationships, with Caitlyn and such is that - Jinx has a very particular relationship with violence. And that sometimes manifests itself in sadism.

Part of it I think, is cause in s2 we don't see it as much, or rather, she is getting the reckoning there for all the points of violence she enacted in s1 and anything she tries in s2 she immediately gets the consequence for it. Thinking her breaking into Vi's apartment in s2ep5 - break-in aside, the weird inappropriate way she blows in her ear, and then gets into her stuff and paints her face in a presumed mockery of Vi's tattoo - and she immediately gets pinned by Vi who responds like a caged injured animal (which hey she is in this case) and choked. But it's a sister-ly thing! one can argue but - is it? Do Vi and Jinx up to this point have that rapport that Vi can reasonably overlook that? That is no, cause since their reunion Jinx has made an effort to either hurt or terrorize Vi (and Caitlyn by extension). Jinx is not in a place to do so, to be like an annoying little sibling, cause she threw that out long ago. It's not until later, that Vi sees Jinx has changed (and part of that is due to Isha's help) but again Jinx had to change. Jinx was not just some innocent victim. Yes she was victimized, yes she's mentally ill and part of the fear of her comes from that. But also Jinx is sadistic and the way she engages with people since s1 act 2 reflects that.

Some examples:

-Killing the Firelights including and especially that one girl who looked like Vi. Why shoot her? Cause she upset her cause she happened to look like Vi? The earlier killing were moments of failings emotional control/mental instability and can be excused but this? Man. -The killing of the enforcers in s1ep4 - yes they are cops and who cares but the manner in which she does it speaks to Jinx and her character here. She doesn't have to be sadistic about it in the way that she was. -the way she engages with Thieram/Chuck and how he is clearly terrified of her. She has a reputation and then tricks him with a bomb which the poor schmuck thought was legit (until it wasn't). -Tying up Sevika for her words about Vi replacing her and such. Not even just the fact that it's cruel, she does it in a humiliating manner. -Kidnapping Caitlyn while she's naked and vulnerable, and deliberately building that up with the monkey shape. She knew what she was doing, and it was deliberate (yes Jinx's demons have made her into a bogeyman but it doesn't change the way in which Jinx engages with that bogeyman). Compare it to Silco's kidnapping, or even Vi's. Jinx's method here is deliberate. -Dinner scene - the fake out beheading scene with Vi and the Cupcake. -the Ultimatum with Vi - she tells Vi she can only have one thing or the other. She does not grant Vi the agency to choose and and tries to manhandle her. -After losing Silco, she reacts by shooting the Council. Not because she's some great hero who wants to make a Statement. She does it out of a lack of emotional control, and that (unintentionally) leads to Ambessa having an "in" into P/Z. She creates the Monster that is s2act1!Caitlyn. -Heenot being hung upside down and the dolls hanging from the ceiling and the dead dolls of the Striketeam which are gory as is.

What do I mean by this? I'm not saying it to mean that Jinx is meant to be evil or just ~ crazy ~ and should be hated. But I've seen a lot of people after s2 jump to say she's a perfect hero who has done everything right, who hate her choice to break the cycle. Cause it's not just about the things she's done to the Council/Piltover! She has to break the cycle in all the things she's done. Jinx has a reputation in Zaun as is in Piltover and those actions she's taken for forever will continue to isolate her even as she's changed or when ppl try to rebuild her in a way she isn't - the hero archetype. She has to run away.

And this is why too, she is a great foil to Caitlyn! And why Caitlyn always speaks in "we" when it comes to their mistakes. Caitlyn in s2 becomes the mirror to Jinx in that they both embody different forms of violence in s2 - Caitlyn's organized violence vs Jinx's chaos. Both harm a lot of innocents in the process. They cannot erase their mistakes, but they can break the cycle and move on.

Anyways this is to say, Jinx is a very complex character. She has many facets to her, the alleged hero she denies the role of (cause she doesn't care, doesn't care about community as a whole like that it takes her Isha, losing Silco the way she did even Vi for a bit, and s2act2 to treat see humans as people and not dolls she plays with), the scared and hurt child, the part of her that struggles with her mental illness, the part that loves her family, loves Ekko. But it does not erase those worse off parts of her. And ignoring that side of her ignores the choices the writers make in the story. Why she decides to run away when Ekko shows her that she doesn't have to end it all. It's part of why timebomb and the sisters are doomed.

[magicalrocketships]

You talked in the author's note about having more thoughts on Max's sexuality in Breaking every rule for you. I'd love to hear more about that, if you want to? 🤍

Oh, thank you for asking!! I did a whole disassociation thing after I posted the last chapter and I was like "it's very important to reply to comments and asks about this fic which meant a lot to me to write and to receive" and then I simultaneously thought orrrrr, alternatively, you can keep putting that off because you won't be able to properly tell people how much all the comments and asks meant. Anyway, that's a perfectly sensible series of thoughts to have, which brings me to this ask.

So, Max in Breaking Every Rule For You. This is half brain-dump, half director's cut of Max's POV. Either way, I accidentally wrote 3000 words about my beloved, feral Max. Sorry? Not sorry. I'll always want to talk about him 🧡🧡

He has literally no conception of this (and neither does Daniel), but he's very much on the asexual spectrum. He's demisexual, which is a word he's never heard and wouldn't know to use even if he had. 

He continues to tell the truth about his experience of life, but Daniel doesn't know enough to understand what Max is accidentally telling him, and Max doesn't know that his experience isn't universal. So! This fic is basically Max experiencing sexual attraction for the first time.

OBVIOUSLY this does not excuse Max behaving monstrously to Zoe and being hopelessly cruel to Daniel. He is, however, experiencing a lot of stuff for the first time and he didn't know! That he could feel like this! He is horny about someone else for the first time in his life! He'd be feral anyway, and he and Daniel stay completely feral after the fic's done and long into the future, feral and horny and all over each other, but there's this whole extra layer to it that's just Max being like... you can feel like this about another person? You can want someone THIS MUCH? You can want to fuck and come and kiss and touch another human being? Everybody in the world isn't lying about wanting it?

So on the one hand you've got Daniel's much more linear experience of oh, fuck, I've been bisexual all along, and the person who's opened my eyes about it is Max, what does this mean for my life and am I allowed to have something with Max for the longer term? In contrast to Max being so fucking thirsty to experience all of these things he's wanting for the first time, and barely understanding what it is he's wanting and the impact on the lives of the people around him who love him. He's so fucking needy and he barely understands the reasoning behind that, but that's partly why he keeps bringing Daniel back and reminding him of everything he's promised, everything Max is dying to experience but hasn't yet.

Even like, right back at the beginning when Max wants pictures of Daniel, it's because he's literally never felt attraction to another person. He's never looked at someone's body and wanted to touch it (or, in Max's case, to come all over him over and and over again and make him fucking filthy and his and have him show Max how he touches himself and how he looks soft and hard and horny and everything in between).

And all the things he wants to do to Daniel, he's never done to anyone else because he was horny about it. Everything he's done is because he thought he should, because he thought everyone was faking it when they said they were horny for touching other people. He can't slow himself down. He wants all of it. And then he'll do things like just warm Daniel's dick because he didn't know it felt good, and it feels so good.

On the other hand, Max has a fixed conception of love and relationships and they are work. They are a job. He has had girlfriends because he was supposed to have girlfriends and he's literally not figured out he's gay because he's not been close to a man long enough for attraction to develop, and with Max it takes a lonnnnng time, he's known Daniel for years and it's only been in the past few months it's started to change how he feels about him, ever since Daniel said he was going to leave and Max realised he not only wanted him to stay, he wanted him. And he doesn't want what he has with Daniel (something good) to crossover into relationship (something bad, something that's work, something that's always been a to-do list item) because then it will be bad. Max is getting every single thing he wants for the very first time in his life, of course he wants to keep things exactly how they are and ringfence this space in his life where Daniel is and he's getting everything he wants. The downside is that it's horribly cruel, but he doesn't entirely understand that, because he doesn't entirely understand either how he feels or how Daniel feels, and because he thinks that what he experiences is the universal, which is that relationships and love are bad and work. 

I kind of love that Max at the beginning isn't a great kisser - Max kisses like he jerks off, fierce and unimaginative. A race to the finish line. One day Daniel will make him slow it down. And part of that is literally because he's never enjoyed it before. He's never kissed anyone he wanted to have kiss him back.

But also, Max loves to jerk off. He loves to jerk off. Masturbation is the one thing he's always loved to do, because he's never been low on sexual desire, just attraction. He's jerked off thinking about Daniel before, too. Even before being really attracted to him. It's sort of why he wants Daniel in his bed, not because it's where he shares with Zoe when she's in Monaco, but because it's where Max jerks off, which is the one hugely positive sexual thing he's ever had in his life. Yeah, there's also some kind of "having a girlfriend is boring and work and I'm beating the system by having a better time in the space where that boring work happens" but Max isn't pre-meditiatively cruel in this. His cruelty is a by-product. 

Also: Max doesn't know that things can be better than what he has. 

He's barely managed to get his shirt off before Max is launching himself at him, making some Max-like attempt at human touch by cupping Daniel's face in his hands and pressing their mouths together. It's not romantic. It's not anything, other than fast, and maybe a little furious.

"You talked about kissing me," Max says, pulling away just enough that Daniel can feel the heat of his breath against his mouth. He's still cupping Daniel's face, and Daniel wants to cover Max's hands with his own and keep him there, make him stay still, make time slow down for them just this fucking once. "You said you thought about it. Kissing me. I've never kissed anyone like that, Daniel. I want it."

Max is telling Daniel the truth but Daniel doesn't pick up on it. Max hasn't ever kissed anyone like this before. And he wants it. 

Daniel spends a lot of time thinking about Zoe. Max doesn't think about her at all. He buys Daniel gifts because he's wild about him, because he needs to, like, put some of what he's feeling out into the world but he just— doesn't know how to do it. He's overflowing with it. 

"Think all the time about kissing you," Max tells him, still kneeling over him, leaning in so that he can mouth at Daniel's neck, kiss him so that Daniel will have a fucking love bite he'll have to cover with concealer if he wants to leave the house. Daniel doesn't stop him. Max can mark him up any way he wants. Daniel will take any scrap he can get. People shouldn't live off scraps, but Daniel will take anything Max throws at him. He'll judge himself later. "You have a good mouth, Daniel, I think about it so much." He kisses Daniel's jaw, along the line of it, over his stubble and up to his ear. It is not foreplay. It is just Max, taking what he wants. Daniel giving it because he wants the whole fucking lot of it and to drown in it afterwards. Better drown than starve. Max kisses his cheek, the corner of his mouth. Once, twice. The side of his nose. Is this Max, trying to be gentle with him? Trying to give something he normally only takes?

And then Daniel changes things, he tries to break up with Max and Max goes insane with it. For Max, Daniel really is ruining things. He is being a stupid motherfucker. This really is just sex because Max doesn't know how to understand what he's feeling. And he doesn't want to feel! Feeling is bad. He keeps trying to make the feelings stop. Of course Max just keeps trying to take things back to the space where things were working, because he wants it so much. Of course he's jealous, because he's fucking feral and a mess and he has no idea how to feel things like a real boy, because he never fucking has, and how he feels about Daniel is really fucking easy if only he knew how to identify or name any of the feelings he's feeling. 

So yeah: Max is heartbroken for the first time in his life, but he also just doesn't understand it. His chest hurts. He wants Daniel back in the space where it was all working. Daniel isn't the stupid motherfucker, Max is, for not managing to keep it so that Daniel would still kiss him and want him and touch him and text him, and Max is for not being able to stop himself from feeling stuff he doesn't understand. And then Zoe goes, and he doesn't feel anything. Not really. The only thing he's thinking about is Daniel. And then you get Max's entirely pragmatic, ruthless side, whereby he just makes sure Daniel is safe. He pays whatever he needs to pay to make sure Zoe is satisfied. He tells her the truth about not feeling about her the way he feels about Daniel. He doesn't mean to be cruel. It's a by-product again. It still is hopelessly cruel. He still only wants Daniel. He's the stupid motherfucker, not Daniel. 

And all the time, Max thinking he can get Daniel back to what they had before if only he keep trying. He knows Daniel wants him back. And he thinks he's getting it. He thinks he's getting Daniel back. It's want like he's never wanted. He thinks he's managed it, and then Daniel just— shuts him down. And Max just… breaks. It takes him by surprise as much as it takes Daniel when he sees Max crying, like he's crying and he didn't mean to start but he also can't stop. He loves him. That's what this is. 

"You are not listening," Max says, wiping his tears on his shoulder. "All of this time I am trying and I am trying not to want you and not to feel things but it did not work and I do and I did and I feel it in here and it won't stop." He presses the side of his fist to his chest, like Max is referring to his own fucking heart, which he can't be, because Max is Max, and Max doesn't feel anything, and he doesn't fucking feel anything for Daniel. "It is not fair that you won't listen. Always I am asking how do I make it stop, because you are just supposed to be sex, you are dick and that is for the dark and instead you are always just here, in my head and you have made me go mad thinking about you. Everything I do is very insane and it is all about you and my girlfriend left me and I do not care because she is not you and you tell me that you miss me too but now you are saying no when I want you more than I want anything and it is not okay."

It's the first time in his life he's ever been in love, and he's trying to make sense of it because he couldn't stop loving Daniel if he tried, but here's Daniel telling him he doesn't, and that he's stopped, and that is just— so far outside of Max's understanding. It's not fair and it's not okay and he doesn't know how Daniel could stop loving him if love is what he feels back for Daniel. 

And then he stays. He tells Daniel that no one kisses him like Daniel does. He says: "Nobody touches me like you do," Max says, which is probably a lie since Zoe loved him and wanted him and probably would have touched Max any way he wanted if he'd only told her. "Nobody, Daniel, nobody makes me feel like you do."

Daniel makes a soft, unholy noise in the back of his throat.

"It's true," Max says, urgently. "It is true."

Daniel doesn't realise how true. That no one has ever made Max feel or want like this. That this is the first time he's ever been attracted to someone. 

And for Max it's so clearly worlds apart from him and Zoe. They're not comparable. 

"She was my girlfriend," Max says. "But I didn't love her like I love you."

For a moment, Daniel's brain judders to a halt. It's felt like he's been on a constant spin cycle since last night, but for a moment, everything's still. "Yeah?"

"With you it is very different," Max says. "Everything is very different."

He keeps stroking the inside of Daniel's wrist. Daniel can't think of anything to say. He just watches Max touch him.

"Of course I kissed her, Daniel. She was my girlfriend. I did all the things you're supposed to do with your girlfriend. You cannot be tearing yourself up into knots about her when she is gone and you are here."

And

"I thought about your dick a lot. I thought I would like to see it. I jerked off and used my fingers and thought about you jerking off. I thought if I was going to suck a dick then it would be nice if it was yours."

"You had a girlfriend."

"Yes. I had everything I was supposed to want. Red Bull and Zoe and one day I will have my World Championship. But not you because you are a stupid motherfucker and you left me."

And Max loves jerking off. It's his favourite thing. 

But like, Max finally gets what he didn't know he wanted, which is more than just having sex at regular and irregular intervals, he gets a boyfriend, someone he can actually love and want to be with and it's all turning his conception of relationships and love upside down and he has to re-evaluate how that fits into his life, because relationships have been a boring part of work before, and now they're not, so he just has to… figure that shit out. 

This conversation where Daniel asks Max if he's gay: 

"Max," he says softly, after a minute. "Max, do you like girls?"

Max shifts on the pillow. He rolls his eyes. "Of course I do, Daniel, do not ask stupid questions. They are 50% of the population."

"I'm not—" Daniel searches Max's face. He wants to find something there that Max isn't showing him, some measure of understanding, of common ground beyond the fact that they're fucking and in love. "Do you like dating them?"

"I am dating you," Max says, as if he's talking to someone who barely understands English.

"Yes, but. Before. Did you like having sex with girls?"

"Zoe was my girlfriend. Of course I liked having sex with her."

This isn't Max just obfuscating. He hasn't defined himself as gay. He is, but he didn't necessarily— need to know it or define himself as such? It just wasn't important to him. He didn't really want to have sex with anyone so not wanting to have sex with girls less than him not wanting to have sex with guys he wasn't attracted to didn't matter so much? And now there's Daniel so it's even less of an issue because it turns out he can ferally cheat on Zoe for months and still not intend to ever be with anyone who isn't Daniel. 

Honestly it's more of a journey than Daniel will ever know to get Max to this: 

"I will do better," Max says, when there's nothing else coming, and Daniel's about to step out into the road. "I will learn, Daniel. To be a good boyfriend." 

It's not something he ever even considered before, and now not only does he want to, he's going to work on it too. 

Max smiles at him. He still fingers Daniel, because Max likes to multi-task and do it efficiently, but he lets his gaze rest on Daniel's. He looks happy. He looks so, so happy. "It has never been like this," he says, and Daniel doesn't say because you've been having sex with girls and you don't like them. He'll believe it's just about him. That Max feels like this about him and him alone.

Max telling the ultimate truth - it never has been like this, not a single element of it. Not kissing, not sex, not loving somebody else. Daniel doesn't entirely hear it, but then why would he? Even Max doesn't realise how much of a truth it is. 

"I always thought people were lying about kissing," Max says, without moving or looking at him or anything. "It was so boring. Everyone had to be lying. Nobody could like it unless they liked boring things."

What the fuck.

"So boring," Max says. He still doesn't move or look at him "Sex was boring too. I didn't know why anybody went out of their way when they could just jerk off. Masturbating was so much better than sex, Daniel."

Christ. Daniel's fingers twitch in Max's. "Did you ever think that was because you didn't like girls? And you kept having sex with them?"

"Eh," Max says, and shrugs. "I kissed boys too. Two of them. It was still boring."

Daniel's never thought sex was boring. He's liked it pretty much every time he's had it. He's been kissing girls since he was 14 and could make them laugh enough to kiss him over bags of crisps after school. He thinks about the two boys Max has kissed. What he did with them. When it was. Who it was. If he really thought it was awful. "Do you still think it's boring?"

Max shifts at that, twisting so he can look up at Daniel with the most insulted, don't be fucking stupid look on his face. "I have just licked my come out of your ass, Daniel. I want to have sex with you all the time. All of the things I jerked off thinking about doing I want to do with you. I want to kiss you forever."

Anyway. TL;DR, Max is demisexual and is new to sexual attraction and wouldn't be able to label himself as that if somebody paid him. 

[purinfelix]

possibly, maybe i'm falling for you [pt. 2]- joao felix

summary: after almost a month of ditching shifts to avoid the new barista at work, you're forced to work a closing shift together with no way out ( read part 1 here ) w/c: 2.4k

a/n: okay if i'm being completely honest this isn't my best work and also ended up being way longer than i expected (but i'm on a roll tonight and ik if i don't finish this rn i never will sooo....) hoping this won't flop <//3

You had done a lot of stupid things in your life, but you were fairly sure this had taken the cake. Though part of you, the immature part was also slightly proud of how smart you had been about all of these - it was borderline genius.

You had spent the past month or so meticulously orchestrating your work schedule. Whenever the roster for the week dropped, you would scan over it obsessively, every name and every timeslot. If it wasn't to your hopes you'd immediately message your boss with some excuse - "Uni work is piling up.", "I need to catsit for a friend.", "Caught a nasty cold." - for why you wouldn't be able to make it. You were fairly sure she would catch on soon enough, but even if she did she still obliged and let you switch to another day. Was it tedious and a little more stressful than you'd like? Sure - but it was what you had resorted to, in order to avoid the new barista.

At first, you weren't entirely sure why you were going through all this effort after only working a single shift with him. He hadn't been that bad of a coworker, in fact, he was perfect. He managed to stay on top of orders and keep the station clean at the same time, a feat not many could achieve - and to top it all off, he was thoroughly polite.

But the more you caught yourself avoiding him, the more it started to click. Sure, it was annoying that he was basically perfect at his job and even more irritating that he got tips for just looking good, but even those weren't good enough reasons to hate him. It dawned on you throughout the weeks, with each shift you took without him - which was still full of people coming in to ask "Where that good-looking barista is?" - that you didn't really hate Joao at all. In fact, that couldn't be further from the truth.

The realisation dawned on you largely against your own will. You tried everything to combat it, tell yourself you couldn't possibly feel like that about someone you had barely spoken to, let alone your coworker. And strangely enough, avoiding him - which you had hoped would help you forget about him - only made it worse, giving you time to conjure up ridiculous thoughts about him, what he was doing, what he thought about you. Admittedly, you regretted slightly being so mean to him the first, and last, time you shared a shift.

If only I had a chance to apologise, then maybe it would be alright, you thought, turning over in bed before bringing up a hand to shield your tired eyes from the morning sunlight. As you soon learned, Joao tended to take a lot of morning shifts, which let you get used to the feeling of sleeping in. The soft ping of your phone alerted you though, to an unexpected notification from your boss.

Your eyes widened slightly when you opened it up to see her begging you to work tonight's closing shift, despite you knowing full well that he would be working as well. You knew you had wanted a chance to talk with him, but this had come far too soon. Already halfway through typing up an excuse, another message came through explaining that the staff who was meant to take it had dropped out, that it was an unexplainable emergency and that you'd really be helping her out by coming. You paused your frantic typing, letting out a soft sigh.

After all, you did have a duty to your boss and you'd feel guilty if you let her down now - even after her obliging all your ridiculous requests for shift changes. Slowly, you typed out your response before rolling onto your back, letting your phone fall somewhere amongst your crumpled bed sheets. All you could do now was get ready for work and hope it wouldn't be too bad.

The afternoon came far quicker than you had hoped and before you realised it, you were standing at the door of the cafe. Despite having grown a sense of comfort attached to this door and what lay beyond, having been an employee for so long, your heart twisted at the fact that you had let something as simple as a boy throw a wrench in that. You wiped your clammy hands on the sides of your shorts before reaching out a hand to the doorknob.

Through the frosted panes of the door you could just make out the foggy silhouette of the very boy you had been avoiding, as he busied himself with wiping down tables and clearing empty cups. For a moment, you felt bad for having avoided him all this time, because as he rushed back and forth there was a sense of loneliness in his actions. You recognised it, having worked many closing shifts alone in your earlier years, and soft guilt washed over you at the thought of him feeling the same isolation you had then.

"Hey," you said in unison with the tinkling bell at the top of the front door. You watched as Joao whipped his head around and his expression turned from one of slight boredom into a mix of surprise and relief.

"Oh, hey!" You walked slowly over to the employee entrance to the back counter and he followed quickly, seemingly eager to rid his hands of the several plates he was holding. "I didn't know you were working tonight too."

"Oh yeah sorry, the boss called me in last minute," you fixed your attention on the display case of cakes, unable to bring yourself to look at him.

"No, don't apologise. It does tend to get a little sad here alone," he laughed guiltily and you can only offer a sympathetic smile in response.

"Well I better-" you begin, gesturing to your bag.

"Oh yeah go ahead," he says, moving out of your way though he pauses for a minute - almost as if he's about to ask you a question, but quickly decides against it. You don't think much of it as you move past him into the employee room.

The first half of your shift passes by quickly with waves of customers keeping both of you busy in your respective areas. With each ring of the bell, alerting you to the arrival of a new customer, you felt a slight wash of relief knowing they had bought you a couple less minutes alone. You weren't sure why, but more than anything you feared the awkward silence that would inevitably fall once the two of you were alone.

And of course, with your luck, the stream of customers soon trickled out to just a handful of regulars finishing off the last of their meals. There was less than half an hour left until closing, and you felt your stomach churn with worry each minute that ticked past.

"It's been a while since we worked a shift together," comes Joao's voice from behind you, causing your stomach to drop. You hadn't been expecting the conversation to start so soon.

"Oh yeah, I've just been sort of busy," you laugh, hoping your excuse and attempt at a light-hearted tone do enough to dispel any more questions.

"It's funny though, every time I looked at the first roster and we'd be scheduled together, the next time I checked you would be moved." Maybe not.

"Really?" You're not the best at acting but you try anyway. "I guess it's just a coincidence."

"I guess." Hearing his mocking tone, you grab a hold of a rag and dash out from behind the counter to go clean a couple tables - anything to get away from him, and this conversation. But he's relentless, and you hear his footsteps as he begins to follow you.

Just in time though, the very last of your customers gets up from her seat and waltzes towards the counter, forcing him back to the register. You smile to yourself as he takes her payment, but this happiness is short-lived once you watch her walk out the door, leaving the two of you alone.

You continue wiping down the tables, starting with the ones as far away from him as possible.

"You need any help with that?" he calls out.

"Nope, I'm good."

"Alright."

It's almost painful how awkward this is, and the way you feel as though the last ten minutes have inched by excruciatingly slow. Once you reach the last of your tables though, you have no choice but to head back behind the counter and start cleaning there too. As you do, you're suddenly made aware just how little space there is for the two of you to pass by each other - and you end up accidentally pushing past his shoulder.

"Sorry," you mumble, though it comes out a little ruder than you'd expected. Suddenly though, you feel a slender hand wrap around your wrist, forcing you to drop the rag on the floor and spin around o face him. "What th-"

"Did I do something?"

His question comes so quickly, so suddenly - though you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been expecting it. For the first time since your last shift, you're forced to look Joao in the eyes, and a part of you is caught up by how beautiful they are, looking directly into yours. But another is more concerned with the almost painful pleading expression they hold, and your heart twists while your brain searches for a response.

"No, you didn't, you're actually a great coworker for what it's worth." It feels cathartic, to tell the truth after forcing yourself to speak the language of polite niceties.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about, I get tipped enough to know I'm a fine barista."

"Then why do you care what I think?" You try to wriggle yourself free from his grip but your feet stay planted where they are, almost paralyzed under his gaze.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Stop acting so stupid, you know exactly why I've been avoiding you!"

"Do you think I'd be here if I did? Do you think I would have prodded you with so many questions?!" His voice rises with each question, and it's almost as if he's speaking without thinking. "Do you think I would've begged our boss to roster us together if I did?"

He shrinks back almost immediately, realising what he's just said. "I-"

"You what?" He sighs.

"I had to get you to talk to me somehow, I knew you were avoiding me, I'm not that daft."

You pause, taking this in. This entire time you thought you'd just been serving yourself, and that he hadn't even given you a second thought - and now you're forced to realise that it's in fact the opposite.

"I didn't like that you were getting more tips than me," you sigh, voice tiny and confessional even though you know that isn't the full truth. And he does too.

"That can't be it."

"Well, what do you want to hear, huh Joao? That I don't like the way you push past me or how you're so easily friendly with our regulars?"

"No-"

"Do you think I don't like the way you wipe down the counter, or how you steam your milk?" You're not sure why you're raising your voice so much, but it's almost as if all the frustration from the past month has bubbled up to the surface.

"No!" He's yelling too, but strangely enough, it doesn't scare you at all.

"Then what? Tell me what you want to hear huh!"

"I want to hear you say you don't hate me!"

"God, you're such an idiot," you laugh, a mean and spiteful laugh as you throw your hands up in exasperation.

"Am I?"

"Yes!" you huff, "because clearly you've been too stupid to realise that I've been avoiding you because I like you!"

Shit.

You physically feel yourself recoil after hearing what you've said, and Joao does the same, his eyes widening and mouth dropping agape. The two of you stand there in a thick, tense silence for what feels like ages.

"You what?" his voice is tiny when he speaks again.

"Please don't make me say it again."

"You like me?"

"Yeah, no need to rub it in."

"Oh, thank god," he sighs, and the relief in your voice confuses you. You watch as his body finally relaxes, and he trudges over to lean against the cafe counter, rubbing his eyes with his hands like he has a headache.

"Excuse me?"

"Here I was, stressed out of my mind thinking the coworker I had a crush on was avoiding me because I had creeped her out or something." It's almost as if he's talking to himself.

"You what?!"

"Oh, and I'm the idiot here?" You resist the urge to hit him.

"You," you pause, almost not being able to believe what you're saying, "you like me too?"

"Is that not obvious?" he laughs, and you let out a scoff of disbelief as he stands up and closes the gap between the two of you. The cogs in your head finally start working to put the pieces together, but you're still a little shocked - even when you feel Joao's hand reach up to hold your chin.

"Now that we've cleared things up," his voice is low, causing your cheeks to heat up, "can I kiss you?"

He still has that innocent tone, and it almost reminds you of the way he asked you questions during his training session. A little unsure but still wanted to make sure he was doing everything right. You nod, and let out a gasp as you feel his lips on yours.

When you finally pull away, he holds you close, almost ready for a second when you put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"What now?"

"We finish closing?"

"I mean, with us."

"You doing anything after this?"

"Don't think so."

"How about dinner, on me?" You roll your eyes at the smirk spreading across his face but nod regardless. Freeing yourself from his embrace, you go to pick up the rag you dropped earlier.

When you stand back up, Joao pulls you in once more for a quick peck, before pressing his forehead to yours.

"I'm guessing you won't be avoiding shifts with me anymore?"

[freakroth]

i saw your post saying that people who ship incest and headcanon dazai as liking that stuff are obviously going to be harrassed. I don't headcanon dazai as liking daddy kiddy stuff, but i want to ask how you think writing about that makes a person bad. because dazai has literally committed AT LEAST child abuse(akutagawa), 136 murders, 312 extortion cases, 625 cases of fraud and more. but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things, then why aren't you harrassing asagiri for writing about all those things? and I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder. so I'd like to ask this. do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules. Also, If you're deep in the bsd community then you may have read no longer human, in which it is heavily heavily implied(to the point that there's literally no other explanation for what happened to her exept rape) that yozo's wife,yoshiko, was raped. do you believe that the irl dazai approved of rape?

I don't mean to come off as rude or argumentative, so sorry if i do, im genuinely curious.

I'm sorry but, are you stupid? you're asking why someone is a bad person for writing incest, pedophilia and rape content. OFC SOMEONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR WRITING THAT KIND OF STUFF. If someone writes it they normalize it, and normalzing disgusting shit like that is VERY harmful.

Its kinda dumb that you are compering Dazai, a fictional character to real people, Dazai is not a real person, so his actions don't effect real people, but people who make incest do effect real people. As someone who is a victim of sa, its very triggering to see incest, pedophilia, rape ect content being made of my favorite character. Making that type of content is normalizing it, and if we normalize kids being raped by someone they're close to, then its gonna end up making younger kids think that its okay if that happens to them.

"but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things" i never said to harass the writers, i said that if they are gonna write that shit they need to be able to handle the hate, and yes they deserve hate for making it, and saying its for coping isn't a valid excuse, because they are hurting other victims at the same time.

"I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder" They are different, rape is done by the attacker so that they can feel sexual pleasure. And sadly in some cases, like junko furuta, people get raped, tortured and murdered for no reason. But still torture and rape are still different, and i don't know why you're bringing up torture and murder when this is about incest content.

"do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules." The answer is no, just because i said i MIGHT write for it doesn't mean i will, its meant as "in some cases i might write it" and even if you don't condone incest, rape and pedophilia irl, its stil very much wrong and disgusting and people who write it should really feel guilty about it, if you have thoughts about that stuff you need to seek help, not normalize and spread it around the interent. Also cheating and incest/rape content aren't comperable btw, one is a crime and the other one is breaking someones trust.

Now the book part, i have the book but i haven't read it, and bringing the real life dazai, into this is stupid, he lived over 70 years ago, people thought differently about rape back then so its hard to know. also the book is a fucking autobiography so ofc its gonna talk about stuff that happened in his life

Anyways please tell me if anything in here is wrong or if you wanna add anything to this

Btw saying "sorry if i come of as rude" after compering me to weirdos is something! 🥰

[littlemissstel]

Confirmation- Shiu Kong

slight angst with happy ending, no use of (Y/n), use of 'Doll', not proofread

blush divider by @bernardsbendystraws

cyber divider @saradika-graphics

You and Shiu were growing apart. Were? You have grown apart, more than you had ever meant to in the first place. When you were younger you thought that was just a silly excuse people used because, "If you really loved someone then how could you grow apart? Why wouldn't you catch it sooner?". But now you've come to understand that it isn't as simple as that, you just wish it didn't have to be through experience.

Nothing happened to mark the start of this new period, no fights, suspicion, change in personality. The problem was that nothing happened at all. At some point the mid-day calls stopped coming, the texts that read, "This made me think of you", the spontaneous gifts and actions of love...The "I love you's".

But you did love him.

The two of you just got too comfortable in your own routines that there was no need for expressing admiration for the other because they would always be there, right?

You had only realised after an outing with your friend. The two of you had met for dinner, getting dressed up, with your hair in a style that took longer to do than it lasted- but it had been a while since you had any reason to and you felt special. The night was at it's peak and through the windows you could see the heard of party goers in practically transparent clothing, you and your friend sitting front and centre to watch as they went by.

"Uhhggg that should be us right now, you know! We used to go out all the time, what happened with that?"

"I'm not really sure, I think I've kind of slipped away from the club scene but we should go out again sometime soon"

"Good! Because you have no idea- how shitty these dating apps are. You know how i felt about them in the first place but I thought ,'you know what, why not give it ago'. The worst decision of my life-"

You cut her off with a burst of laughter, rubbing your fingers soothingly against your temples.

"Don't you think that's a little dramatic?"

"No, not at all! You don't understand, it's like they're rationing the good guys for us single people. I have no idea how you found Shiu but pleeaasee, if he has a brother, hook me up"

You couldn't keep up with her antics, your laughter gradually becoming gasps for air while she continued her passion filled rant. As the conversation went on you couldn't help but think about your own relationship, you didn't mean to ruin her view on it, but with the more examples she brought up, the more you realised that the romantic gestures you did were a thing of the past- heavily outdated.

From that day on, your awareness of the situation had grown and how you hated it. The apartment was often empty, rarely were the both of you home at the same time and when you were you felt like roommates rather than lovers. Shiu was constantly stressed, you had no idea what about - when you tried to ask him he quickly brushed you off - and any attempt at displays of affection seemed unnatural. You didn't know anything that was going on in his life and vice versa.

You were trying, but a conversation about it...maybe now wouldn't be the best time. You weren't quite sure how to bring it up in the first place. But you knew with every passing day, the hairline fracture between the two of you deepened and you felt the loss swallow you whole. Every rejection was a heartbreak. You were just too far away.

It took another month for you to gain the courage to address the problem. Truth be told, you could have done it before but you refused, not wanting to ruin the rare moments you two shared each others presence.

Which is why you hesitate to do it now. The both of you on the sofa, a noticeable distance apart, on your own devices.

"Shiu, can we talk for a minute?"

He looks up slowly.

"uh-huh...is something wrong?"

"No. Yeah a little bit but it's no ones fault." You start, taking a staggered breath in. Your chest starting to tighten and you became hyper aware of yourself as he gave you his attention. Your hands begin fidgeting with each other, trying to preserve any last sense of comfort.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but we've been so distant lately. We barely even talk anymore and when we do it's never past the bare minimum. I know that people go out of the honeymoon phase and it's normal, but I really don't want to be like this. Not with you, that was never us."

"This sounds like break up talk Doll."

"No! I didn't mean it like that! You have no idea how much I love you, I just have a problem with how we've been showing it."

There's silence for a minute as you both stare, intently waiting for a reaction as he drags a breath.

Shiu knows you're right. He's felt it too but the highs were just high enough to forget until he could repeat the cycle all over again. He never thought past it just being normal, after a while couples stopped needing to do 'couple-things'. His parents, as loving as they were, never went out on dates and he couldn't recall a time he'd seen them kiss or hug because they just didn't need to. They had been together for a long time, just like you and him, they had kids and were married so what other proof did they need? No one would've thought to question it. But seeing you now, in front of him, struggling to find the right words to say...It didn't feel right.

You had gone into your separate worlds, only to return to each other at night. But when? That wasn't him? The him that loved to buy you flowers to keep on the kitchen table, the one who savoured every embrace and rued getting up in the morning. The other kind of life, it wasn't for him.

He moves his spot closer to you before taking your hand and squeezing it.

"Then we'll fix it. We can go on dates, just how we used to when we first started out, okay? I won't take extra jobs and we can talk about our days over dinner or sit down to watch a movie." He says, watching as a smile makes its way onto your face.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

You engulf him with your arms wrapped around his neck gently, placing your head onto his shoulder while he supports you around the waist, a small rubbing motion made on your back.

"Thank you, I'm sorry"

The kiss he places on your head releases the tension of your longing, carrying with it the missing confirmation the both of you had lost all too long ago.

"I'm sorry too."

low-key wanted to make it soul crushing but got over my bad mood before it could happen😔watch out

Please feel free to leave any idea/recommendations

[razzellyn]

So affectionate!

Reader who gave them a daily hug! (You're going to be oofed)

Fluff and ! Angst !

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Blue Cop:

• Flustered for the first few times. It's not that he didn't like it, it just barely happens to him. Jun made fun of him about it and he got even more flustered each hug.

• Eventually warms up to it and hugs you back! Only when the "immature" one isn't around though. Immature being Shadow X.

• Actually looks forward to it everyday now. It's a daily thing when it comes to you.

• Now that you are gone, now that you have just lost the privilege of living, he finds it hard to even go after the day like he usually would.

• He doesn't realize how lonely he felt until after you were gone. It makes him feel as if he was just taking your kindness, your presence for granted.

• The last time he hugged you was the last time he hugged anyone else. Any other hugs that has been given to him feels different than the ones you used to give. So, Instead of being hugged by someone else, he just hugs himself.

• Oh how he wished he could tell you how much those hugs meant for him.

Mega Trucker:

• Actually really likes them. But, obviously, he'd never admit that. He'd just play it off with a wave of his hand and walking away.

• He's totally not jealous when you give the others a hug too. He knows it's just what you do, but you don't choose how you feel, so..

• He'd much prefer if you hug him in private. That, or when you just gave everyone a hug.

• Sometimes you give them a hug after any kind of battles they go through, and he used that as an excuse to ask you for a hug sometimes.

• He didn't expect that today would be his last hug from you. His shield was already applied and yet... he couldn't protect you.

• He's the one with the shield, he was supposed to defend you. He feels pathetic now, knowing that he wasn't quick or fast enough to protect you.

• Sometimes, whenever he's alone, he's reminded that you were gone and he blames himself for it.

• He doesn't want to be hugged by someone else. Can't you just.. hug him one last time?

Mega Ambuler:

• He may be... stoic, and a bit cold at times. But your hugs are usually the reason that he melts. (Not literally)

• Honestly, didn't expect anyone to hug him at all! It was a nice change for him.

• Believe it or not, sometimes he initiated the hug. In private, of course. It's a bit awkward for him whenever he does, but for you it was like being blessed for a lifetime.

• Usually he refuses your hugs, but he often regrets it afterwards. Atleast you were kind enough to give him one after that.

• Somehow you still had the nerve to hold him close even as he was patching up your wounds.

• He wanted you to live, everyone wanted you to live. Everyone depended on him for you to live, and he failed.

• He blames himself. He apologized to you, even if you can't hear him he still does. It gives him some type of false hope that he clings to, that maybe somehow you still lived.

• He has never felt so dissapointed in his entire life. To himself. Silently begging for you to just... come back.

• It felt as if he had failed the purpose of a doctor.

Phoenix Fire:

• He's embarrassed from time to time, but he mostly welcomes the hugs with open arms.

• One of the bots who actually showed how much they appreciated your hugs. Your hugs also often calms him down from a panic attack. He's thankful for that.

• He also looks forward to being hugged, it always brightens his day by 100%.

• He was the one screaming at you, begging you to stay awake as he fought the fires and enemies from expanding further.

• He was being brave for you, extinguishing the fires like how a firefighter should! Why weren't you responding...?

• He hugged you as tightly as he could, running towards safety, murmuring promises of a safe place, a safe haven even just for the two of you. Only to look down at an empty husk that you left.

• He wondered what he could've done. He wondered what could've been avoided. He wondered if you wanted a hug.

Shadow X:

• It's hard to tell whether he likes them or not. Sometimes he hugs you back with a wide nonexistent grin, sometimes he just pushes you away. Not in an aggressive manner, of course

• One time he initiated a hug, without realizing that everyone was watching. Yeah you weren't gonna receive hugs from him anymore.

• Secretly the #1 enjoyer of your hugs. Cannot mentally function without one. You found out because he was being an annoyance before you gave him one, after you did he was much more calmer.

• Was the one who immediately stood by your side, picking you up to the best of his abilities, not wanting to hurt you further.

• It was the first time you'd seen him so serious. It was the last time he had seen you so amused.

• He didn't want to let go of you he just wanted to hug you. He didn't care if everyone else was watching, he didn't want you to leave.

• Stay for him, please. He begs of you. Let him be the one to hug you this time.

Fleta Z:

• Also #1 hug enjoyer. He actually shows that he does, not in an exaggerating way of course.

• He's not one to initiate hugs, but he's not one to decline them either. In fact he relishes in the hugs you gave him.

• Sometimes he wishes he could just hug you and never letting you go. Don't worry, he won't actually do that.

• He's really gentle with the hug. Sometimes even hugging you tightly on occasion. It's usually whenever he feels pissed off when that happens. It calms him down greatly.

• Oh was he furious when he saw you laying there motionless. Immediately running over to cover you with his frame as he shoots at the enemies.

• He doesn't want to believe it. But he knows it's true. He just wished it was him and not you.

• He doesn't feel like using his flute at times. For some reason he just didn't feel like it. When he does, he wonders, can you hear his tune that was made just for you?

• Whenever that happens he thought about going over to you, maybe you'd give him a hug. Until he remembered.

• He sighed to himself as he stared at the moon. Wishing that the moon was you.

Dexter:

• Though flustered and embarrassed, he still hugs you back.

• He's also one of the bots to appreciate your hugs, sometimes even asking you a second one.

• In return, he often takes you to explore the forest! Totally not a date, while also talking about the plants and wildlife of the forest.

• You somehow managed to hug him in his vehicle form, and even though it was an odd position, he still appreciated it.

• He immediately abandoned the battlefield, carrying you gently, hoping that he was fast enough to bring you to safety.

• Well, atleast he could hug you one last time before you go. Surely that could calm him down...?

• He only seeks your hugs much more than before now, only to hug himself once he remembers that won't happen anytime soon.

• The forest feels lonelier than ever. It's not as beautiful as he remembered.

Wild Guardy:

• He doesn't mind it at all. He just lets you do whatever you see fit.

• Overtime though, he gradually leans onto your hugs. It went from patting your back, to side hugging you, and all of a sudden he engulfed you in a hug.

• He doesn't care if the others see you two. Sometimes he even showed off that you hugged him rather than them.

• Safe to say he even hugged you as he ran with you to safety. You were bleeding in his car seat. Does he care? No. Cleaning might be a hassle though.

• He handed you over to Mega Ambuler, telling him to to bring you somewhere so you could be treated, and went back to the battlefield.

• His frame physically sagged down when he heard you couldn't make it. Demanding that he sees you for the very last time.

• Never had he felt so disappointed in himself before. He gently held onto your fragile little hand, sighing to himself as he brought your body close.

• Seems like he lost the privilege to your hugs.

Buffalo Crush:

• He looks like the type to not like hugs. Well you're WRONG. He THOROUGHLY enjoys them. Daily hugs? Even BETTER.

• At some point he just full on cuddled you instead of hugging, forgetting to let go until you started squirming. He apologized immediately after.

• He's learned to hug you gently now. Still snuggling up to you when he could, which then turned into a cuddle and he forgot you needed to breathe. Again.

• It takes... too long for him to properly hug you, but he did it! His learning of "how to gently hug others" had significantly improved thanks to you.

• He just didn't expect that you would go once learned. He hugged your form gently, not wanting your pain to increase.

• Of course he went to Mega Ambuler. He's a doctor isn't he? He should know what to do. He could bring you back! But Mega Ambuler's lack of response tells him otherwise.

• He was begging for someone, for anyone to help you! But even Buster Gallon didn't know what to do.

• He learned how to properly hug you now, won't you hug him back?

Buster Gallon:

• Oh he hates it. He's totally not embarrassed each time you try to hug him.

• One time he decided to let you hug him, guess what? He's not letting go. Then it just goes on after that.

• Whenever he's done something, or achieved some sort of breakthrough, he comes to you for a reward hug. Which is a normal hug, but he can only achieve it by succeeding in... something.

• Somehow you always came up with excuses to hug him, telling him that he'd done something great knowing that he didn't even do a thing yet.

• Oh how he wished he let you hug him more. He carried you away from the battle, ignoring Black Hook's orders.

• Only to find that his efforts were futile, as you lay motionless in his arms. He feels conflicted. He wants to hug you, he wants to keep you close. But he just couldn't bring it in himself to do so.

• Would you still hug him, even though he failed?

Black Hook:

• His immediate answer was a no. He didn't want to be seen as someone that could easily be 'hugged' by others. Only for him to lean into your embrace once you two were alone.

• He'd huff and grumble, saying that he doesn't want to be hugged, but you knew that he lied.

• Putting on a brave face and a strong figure, it deeply surprised you how easily he becomes a tiny spoon. Even a captain would like some time off, thank you.

• He melts every time you hug him, wishing that he could've hugged you when everyone was around but not wanting his dignity gone.

• Now he doesn't even care about dignity. He's focused on keeping you safe, only to realize that he was a tad bit too late. He's practically screaming out your name, ordering you to stay awake.

• In the end it was all pointless, staring down at your lifeless body, bending down to give you a hug. If this was going to be the last hug, at least give him the honor to initiate the hug.

• He stayed holding you, as gently as a captain could.

Heavy Iron:

• It's no surprise that Heavy Iron doesn't think much of it. Actually it technically is a surprise, considering that he's a huge bot who looks like he would stomp on you if he wanted to.

• It makes him wonder however, why you were hugging him in the first place. But he must admit, it's nice to be shown kindness even after your worse. He's never saying that though.

• Usually he just pats your back in return and lets go immediately after. Other times he just doesn't do anything, letting you hug him as he just stood there. (like an idiot!🏴‍☠️)

• It almost never happens, but whenever he's feeling particularly good he would actually, properly, hug you back. Even he got himself surprised.

• He wasn't sure what he expected after that. He lost his world, and then he lost you. It doesn't surprise him, but it still hurts.

• He mourns you silently, grieving in the fact that he's only ever hugged you a few times before, yet you've hugged him countless of times.

• Never in his lifetime have he ever felt so saddened by the loss of someone. Though, he supposed you were a different case. You treated him as equals even after he did the opposite, yet somehow that encouraged you to hug him?

• Does he even deserve a hug from you? From anyone?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Pls send req of character and scenario

Pls

Idk what else to write i BEG

[coraniaid]

Standard disclaimer that I understand themes and motifs and I'm aware that the reasons characters do things in fiction is because the writers have decided it will drive the plot, rather than because of those fictional characters (who do not in reality exist) being inherently "good" or "bad" people.

Additional disclaimer that I don't think there's any one single reason that Faith ends up spiralling after Finch's death and siding with the Mayor, that the necessary dominoes started falling years before Faith was even Called as a Slayer and that by the time Faith had lost her first Watcher and been living out of a motel room for months and been tricked and betrayed by Gwendolyn Post and accidentally killed a man there probably wasn't anything anyone could have done to stop her from doing all of that.

One more disclaimer: I do not, despite what the rest of this post (or any other posts I may have made or fanfiction I may have written) might suggest, think that Faith's story in Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be somehow improved if she hadn't had the character arc she has in canon. I do not think it would improve the story if Faith hadn't ended up making a series of terrible and short-sided and selfish decisions which ended up making not only her own life much worse but also many other peoples' lives worse [and a couple of other peoples' lives much shorter]. I do not think Faith's fall and eventual redemption is a problem that somehow needs to be fixed.

That being said though ...

Why on Earth, when Giles realizes Faith is lying to him about who really killed Allan Finch, does he decide the best course of action is (1) to pretend to believe her, and (2) make a big show of acting as though Buffy's in a lot of trouble before sending Faith back home to her motel room? In Consequences itself the only excuse he gives is that he "needed [Faith] to think he was on her side" but .. well,

First, newsflash, Rupert: you are meant to be on her side. That is the job you signed up for and are still insisting on doing despite nominally being fired!; and furthermore

This only explains why he pretends to believe Faith. Why does he make a show of throwing the book at Buffy, something that can only help to convince Faith she was right to lie? ("If this is what he's saying to Buffy, his first Slayer and obvious favorite, imagine what he'd be saying if he knew it was me?")

Why not pretend to believe Faith, reassure her she did the right thing by coming to tell him -- and that he's sure she only did it because she knew Buffy needed help -- and then give her the speech he later gives Buffy about how "this isn't the first time something like this has happened" and he "has no plans to involve [the Council]"?

Why not tell Faith that this isn't the first time Buffy herself has been accused of killing a man and questioned by the police? Why not tell her that he himself once accidentally killed a man, and that's something that he and 'Buffy' now have in common? If possible, he could even take Buffy aside and explain the truth to her, and ask her to play along with the charade for now?

Surely if Faith sees that Giles isn't prepared to throw Buffy under a bus, and that he acknowledges that "the Slayer is on the front side of a nightly war" and that "accidents happen", and he's more interested in making sure both of them get the help they need than meting out punishment, she's much more likely to actually admit the truth eventually?

Even if she doesn't want to do that, why not just ask Faith to "sit in" while he talks to Buffy about what "she" did and asks her to explain how she was feeling, so that Faith is in earshot for any advice or suggestions he makes about what to do next? Giles says out loud in this conversation with Buffy that he's worried about "scaring [Faith] off", so ... why is that exactly what he decides to do?

Again, note the disclaimers above: I know the real answer to my question is "that isn't the story the writers wanted to tell". It is necessary for the short-term twist that Faith seems to have convinced Giles to blame Buffy for Finch's death, and for the longer term plot that Giles be unable (or unwilling) to offer Faith any help. I understand that.

But -- in-universe, pretending Giles and Buffy and Faith are all real people -- is there an explanation for this that doesn't boil down to "Giles is a pretty lousy Watcher and should probably not be acting in a mentor role at all?". Why has he decided that the number one priority before anything else must be for Faith to admit it was her, and not the girl Giles can't help but see as a daughter, who killed Finch, when he accepts that -- whoever did it -- it was entirely accidental? If he's not telling the Council anyway and nobody is going to be sent away to be punished, what is the actual issue here?

"There is no help for her until she admits what happened." Okay, Giles, but why have you decided to unilaterally invent this rule, and why do you never use it for anyone else? We saw way back in Faith, Hope & Trick that Giles has no problem at all lying to people who aren't willing to admit the truth in order to help them. If, that is, by "people" we mean "Buffy Summers". Why can't you do the same thing for a girl you don't personally like?

[elizamgarts]

⚠️Rant incoming ⚠️

I know this isn't my usual posts but recently I believe it has to be said.

This mostly applies to tik Tok but still it needs to be said in the fandom as a whole.

I understand She ra is a female driven show, it's meant for the girls. I fully understand that and makes sense why most of the girls get the spotlight. But that doesn't excuse blatant dismissal to other characters.

Even in the show there's a very clear favoritism and it's heavily in your face it's honestly crazy.

If you haven't guessed I'm talking about Catra. The fandom and show babies and favors her over even the title character, in a way fine but the fans treat her like she is a baby who needs protection but at the same time is a badass lesbian bitch who can overtake anyone.

So which is it? A baby kitten? Or badass lesbian? You can't have both.

Catra stans really make me wanna pull my hair out from how delusional and annoying they can be. Especially when they despise one character for understandable reasons.

Like yes I get it, Hordak done a lot of terrible shit, he's my favorite character but I do not excuse his behavior for what he did to Etheria.

I'm fully onboard with him serving his time to make up what he did and rebuild what he destroyed.

But Catra? Where's her punishment? Where's her due justice for her crimes?

The show never mentions it. The fans gloss over it cause she's Adora "girlfriend" now she serves no punishment she's a sad kitten.

No.

Absolutely not, I'm sorry but the favoritism is absolutely insane, Catra has hurt far more people personally than Hordak, Catra should equally be held accountable for her actions.

But she isn't. She never is, and the bullshit redemption she had is so ass it's insane the show got away with it.

She never changed, she only says she's working on her anger but she never does. The show refuses to let her be accountable for her actions.

What's to enjoy with her character?

She abused everyone, she gets praised cans called a badass by being abelist to Hordak in the one scene she "takes over the horde"

Let's not forget her sending Entrapta to her death pretty much when she shipped her to beast Island fully knowing nobody comes back from that place.

She killed Glimmer's mother by being the one responsible for pulling the lever.

Let's not forget her years and years of abuse on Adora yet the show forced them together because 'hot lesbians"

All of this, all of the people Catra hurt and she never gets held accountable, what does she get? She gets to join the best friend squad and did absolutely nothing to earn it while Entrapta who's worked her ass off to change and be better never once is officially part?.

The favoritism is crazy.

Why is Catra Trauma taken absolutely seriously and demands to be respected yet everyone else's Truama doesn't't exist?

How is that fair?

And I only post this because recently I guess I hold deep rooted disdain for Characters character because she reminds me far too much of my mother.

My mother was physically and mentally and emotionally abusive, she use to hit me if I made a mistake yell and blame me for something I have no control over, gets upset if I don't do things her way. Or if she doesn't get her way she gets upset and makes me feel like shit for not wanting to do something or for how I feel.

Then manipulates me by showing love and affection only to act the absolute same, nothing changes, I have to work to make her happy when it shouldn't be that way.

All of this is very similar to Catra, she manipulates others into getting what she wants, she abused others physically and emotionally.

She acts victim when things don't go her way.

Her character hits far to close to home for me and it makes me resent and hate her character because I sympathize far more to those she hurt over her. Because she shouldn't be getting away with this. She should work to actually change not say she changed.

I love her design, she has a great design and I still love to draw her but her character?

Her "redemption"

It's so horrible and so terrible I cannot find any liking to the character.

I know this rant is all over the place but it's something I needed to address. And it's something the fans need to understand, I don't hate Catdora because I'm homophobic, I don't want Catra to die or any shit like that. I just want a fleshed out character that gets a better redemption and other characters to get equal attention as her. But all I can settle for is fics.

I do hope Catra stans understand this. But this is why I absolutely hate Catra.

Keep in mind I don't wanna do these rants a lot on my page, I'm a artist page not a rant page but I needed to get this off my chest.

[saturncoyote]

Remembering this one addition i got to my analysis post recently that got me thinking... yeah it IS pretty strange that Creek is one of the only villains who's main reason for being hated isn't even rooted in his actions but his personality (the only other one i can think of where this is the case is maybe Crimp and that's it), villains who have done just as bad or even worse things than him are loved for their funny and loveable moments while he's thrown aside to rot in the sidelines

Plus with the movie's pattern of redeeming those villains with loveable personalities while refusing to give Creek a chance to redeem himself, even in the cartoons where he's still written as at best a annoying side character, it does leave a weird implication where only characters that are likeable are deserving of a second chance, like i said in my analysis: he shouldn't NEED to be perfect to deserve a nicer fate

There's also this weird misconception that comes with him being unlikeable where people will straight up refuse to see his actions from his perspective or even imply that he was given chances to escape or change his mind when there is no indication of that happening in the movie, like he isn't allowed to be a victim just because he's annoying, to ignore what he went through just because you don't like him as a character leaves a bad taste in my mouth

Don't get me wrong, he's annoying and bad and that's the point of his character... but WHY is that the point ? How does that add to his character ? Yes he's meant to be a wake-up call for Poppy about positivity not always being the answer but that's not even done correctly, why is he put into terrible situations out of his control if we're not suppose to feel sorry for him ? Why does his personality do a complete 180 once he betrays Pop Village ?? Is truly all of that JUST so Dreamworks can have an excuse to not give him a redemption ? His writting is so all over the place and it frustrates me to no end

[flower-boi16]

Why The "Their Both Meant to Be in the Wrong!" defense doesn't work

Lately I've commonly seen this defence levidied towards the show's writing of Stolitz everytime someone critizes season 2's handling of it, and in light of the recent episode I feel the need to cover it. So let's go over why this defence simply doesn't work, shall we?

1. Their mistakes are not equal

I already made a post about this before so I'll try to keep it brief; Stolas and Blitz's mistakes here aren't equal and the show can't act like they are. Stolas mistake was sexually abusing Blitz, trapping him in a situation where he has to agree to sleep with him or he'll lose the thing he needs for his job

Blitz' mistakes are...

Being kind of an ass to Stolas in Apology Tour

Not realizing that Stolas has genuine love for him due to being blinded by preconcieved notions he's had about him

Let's break these down, shall we?

This not on the same level as what Stolas was doing

Blitz isn't even in the wrong for this. Again I talked about this before in my post about Viv's tweet but. Blitz is not in the wrong here for not believing that Stolas loves him, after all, what reason does he even have? Stolas has done nothing but sexually abuse and constantly belittle Blitz, and even those "nice things" aren't suddenely enough to balance out those bad actions, they are far too small to actually make up for the shit Stolas did to Blitz.

None of these mistakes are remotely the same level as what Stolas did to Blitz especially when you start putting in context here. Stolas was doing what he was doing to Blitz were all purely for his own selfish pleasure while Blitz' actions were more understandable once you look at things from his perspective.

You can't pretend that Blitz and Stolas' actions are somehow the same level when they simply are not. The actions from both characters should be equally as bad when you put in the context, but here it simply isn't.

2. Stolas' mistakes are never acknowledged

I've seen a lot of people trying to say that one of Stolas' mistakes here is that he "isn't self-aware enough" to realize how he treated Blitz not as a why to excuse him but to try and deny the argument that the show is victimizing him. There are two problems with this;

There isn't any actual indication of this being case within the show, this was just something that Viv made up in a tweet she posted after the full moon aired and everyone suddenely started parrotting it around. This was suppoused to be character trait for Stolas than that should have been made more clear from the narrative.

Let's say for a sec that the narrative does make it clear that Stolas has little self-awarness; well, it still fails because the show never calls this out. The show never calls out Stolas' lack of self-awarness in these scenes, if the show really was trying to hold them both accountable then Stolas' flaws here should be properly addressed by the narrative, but they aren't. It's a similar issue to Charlie from HB's sister show; the narrative is aware of the flaws the character has but it never chooses to call out or confront these flaws because it's too busy idealizing/babying the character to do that. Stolas' flaws SHOULD be addressed by the narrative if Viv really is trying to make them both flawed, but no, only Blitz flaws are acknowledged while Stolas' aren't.

That's bad writting. 90% of the blame is put on Blitz while Stolas is solely painted as someone hurt by Blitz' actions. The only time where Stolas' actions are seen as bad is when he was SA Blitz, which is good but...since it's coming alongside moments that demonize Blitz for not seeing that Stolas loves him, it runs hollow and still comes across and victimizing Stolas here as someone hurt by Blitz in spite of holding him accountable (and also because, once again, Blitz is not in the wrong for thinking this even if he has biases). The show is still directly demonizing Blitz for being hurt by Stolas' actions here, so it runs hollow.

3. Blitz still gets all the blame

People constantly complain about antis "picking sides" when you aren't suppoused to, but I don't think you can blame people for doing that when the show itself is picking sides. The show puts all the blame onto Blitz here, painting him as the one mostly in the wrong here and an asshole for hurting Stolas' feelings.

Despite what fans try to argue, the framming of the show makes Stolitz look completely black and white; Blitz is the asshole who hurt poor Stolas' feelings and Stolas is the one who maybe made some mistakes but is mostly innocent here guys! I'm really sick of people trying to argue about this being a grey reletionship when it's not, if Viv wants it to be a grey reletionship then she's doing a shit tier job at it due to the framming of the show.

Blitz is the one who the show mostly demonizes here, he's the one who the show sees as the worst person here who needs to change, while Stolas is painted as the "bigger" person. That's not mutual toxicity. If that was what the show was aiming for then the show would call them both out on their bullshit, but it doesn't.

Conclusion

Just wanted to write this quick post because I was sick of seeing this defense over and over again when it came to this reletionship. Guys, Stolitz is suppoused to be a mutually toxic reletionship, then the show's framming is fumbling it significantly. The writting for the reletionship here is just plain bad.