#really trying so hard to not think about the fact that this could be the last time i see him or the property i grew up on

[lightaflaem]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐀 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.

characters: s. rintaro, m. atsumu

genre: hurt/comfort

word count: 1.1k

summary: how would haikyuu boys react when you give them a silent treatment.

SUNA RINTARO

Suna’s keen observation and logical reasoning are always on point. That’s why whenever you try opening up to him regarding your problems and worries, he’ll shut them out in the most logical way he could.

Usually, when you are feeling overstimulated with your emotions, you just need a breather and you already know what to do. However, your boyfriend could not understand that yet at some point.

So when you tried opening up regarding the pressure of reviewing for college applications, you were already shut down with his remarks such as “Well, you can try reviewing harder, right? There’s nothing we can learn in this world so use your resources appropriately”

“Rin, I know what to do! Can you just…listen to me and maybe offer some comfort if you can?” “Why? What’s the point of ranting when you could’ve done something about it and actually made a difference?”

You hated that he’s right and you hated that you couldn’t do anything about it. To prevent yourself from detonating like a bomb, you picked all your things up and left his room as quickly as you could to get some fresh air.

With a huge sigh, his foxy eyes just twitched as he watched your figure disappear from his sight.

You figured out that it's best to just chill out and let everything flow before approaching your boyfriend again because honestly, your mind is still declining from everything.

However, your plan to chill out seems like a little bit hard to carry out, especially when you are also the manager of the Inarizaki VBC.

When their preparation for the incoming practice match with another school started and you did not even bother to look Suna's way, the Miya twins exchanged glances and instantly knew that there was something wrong.

The way your gaze shifted and avoided him during the meeting, Suna felt like his heart was being bruised a fist. He never thought that you avoiding him and giving him a silent treatment could hurt this bad.

The first round of practice just finished and he was already lingering towards you, expecting that you’ll hand his bottle of pocari sweat; however, when he saw you leaving as soon as you saw him towards you, he knew he had enough.

“Come on, Y/N,” he spoke, hand quickly grabbing your elbow in a soft way to prevent you from escaping. “Don’t give me this silent treatment. It hurts here,” he then pointed at his heart, eyelids  drooping.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t really give you the support and comfort you needed. But maybe if you can enlighten me with how I can help you, maybe we can understand each other more.”

Suna doesn’t lie. It hurts him so much seeing you ignore his presence like he wasn’t existing at all. He doesn't like the feeling. He loathes it so much.

Atsumu will definitely try to pull some shitty pranks however, Kita was fast enough to stop him and pull him by the hem of his shorts before he could do something.

The both of you talked, almost forgetting that Suna is in the middle of training.

The Inarizaki VBC intentionally left the two of you and continued with the practice, letting you guys fix the childish argument you had.

Right after that, Suna was on fire and didn’t even slack off the whole training. In his mind, he's definitely thinking of ways to make it up to you after his training. In fact, he's already thinking of taking you to eat ramen with him which is your comfort food and make you talk to him about your worries once again.

He promised himself that he'll listen and give you advice or comfort or maybe both with a few hugs and kisses to ease you up.

“Should we try setting something to make Rintaro and Y/N argue and make it up before a match so that Suna will be on his best game?” Atsumu proposed.

“Don’t even think about it. I’ll bury you.” Suna answered with his eyes shooting lasers towards the blond male.

MIYA ATSUMU

Arguments with him usually lasted the whole day, depending on how deep the fight was or how petty his actions were. However, this particular argument lasted for 3 straight days. It can actually be fixed however, your boyfriend chose to be an ass instead of talking this shit thoroughly with you.

When his brother, Osamu called you at 8 in the evening to help him calm his idiot brother down who nearly trashed the whole gymnasium of Inarizaki just because he wasn’t having his best day and play, he chose to ignore you and your attempts to soothe his frustrations out which escalated into a heated argument and bickering in front on the whole Inarizaki volleyball team.

If it wasn’t for Kita interfering and saying something like “you know that you could be benched in the following games if you continued doing this, right?” then he wouldn’t calm down and stop throwing the volleyball everywhere.

When you attempted to be the bigger person and sat down to have a talk with him, he decided to fold and close himself with every option and raised his voice at you which made your blood boil.

After making sure that Osamu took his brother home safely, you went back home alone and left a few text messages but he never texted or called you back. So, you figured out that it’s the cue and both of you needed some space and time to cool down.

On the second day of the argument, it was hell for Atsumu. He tried calling you twice. However, you still feel shitty with the way he acted on you that day so you never answered his calls.

He left multiple missed calls accompanied with messages like ‘baby please answer the phone’ ‘😭😭😭’ ‘i missed you. I’m sorry, i was an ass’

A day after, there’s a few knocks on your doors and you were welcomed with Atsumu in his usual volleyball training outfit, head hanging low with both of his hands inside the maroon pockets of his university jacket.

“I’m sorry,” he said with the softest voice you’ve ever heard. “Can I come in?”

Upon closing your door, he didn’t even give you time to adjust with his presence and instantly pulled you into a hug.

“Wait—Are you crying?” “The hell I’m crying! Yer not answering any of my calls and messages! I thought I’m gonna lose you!”

And there he is, Atsumu the big baby like he always is. Rolling your eyes, you gave him a few good smacks before talking everything through and reminding of the boundaries and of course, letting him let out all of his frustrations.

Atsumu will definitely feel like the shittiest person ever after realizing that he just yelled at you in front of the whole team. He also got some punches from Osamu after they went home that day.

“I’m so sorry baby. I know it’s not an excuse but please, don’t give up on me. I’m working on becoming a better person every day.”

The following days were spent with him making up with you and apologizing to Inarizaki VBC.

Surely, he earned a few punches from Osamu again because what he did is still an ass move.

© lightaflaem. do not repost on any platform.

[roosterforme]

Okay, but how about the first time Jake and Darling have a fight? How would that go?

I really like your stories bc while it is fiction, I feel like you show every aspect of a relationship, not only the good parts.

🩷

OMG, nonny. I'm swooning. I try to make my stories realistic (as much as they can be for fanfic). Nobody is happy and confident all the time. Everyone is stressed about something. Relationships are hard work, and dealing with someone else is sometimes weird and annoying. So thank you, I appreciate that so much.

Jake and Darlin' argue all the time about all the small things in life. They have different opinions on a lot of things, but it's never usually anything they remember by the next day. I think their first big fight would happen shortly after she moves in with him, just after she graduates from school and starts her new job. (angsty below).

"I had the longest day at work," you muttered, shoveling the last bite of the dinner Jake made into your mouth. You set your fork down and stretched as you stood. This whole week was dragging. You realized you were probably complaining more than usual, but you were just over it. "Let's go take a bath and just go to bed. I'll clean up tomorrow morning."

Jake looked at you, his lips pressed into a firm line. "Go ahead. I'll clean it up."

You reached for his hand, but he was already stacking the plates. "You cooked. I don't want you to clean up. I'll do it later," you reiterated.

"Just go get in the bath," he snapped, carrying everything back to the kitchen.

"I don't want to take a bath without you!"

Jake dumped everything into the sink and spun around. "You're not the only one who's working full-time, but you're certainly acting like it."

With narrowed eyes, you asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jake took a deep, practiced breath and let it out slowly. "I know you're tired, but it would be nice for you to acknowledge that I work longer hours than you do. So just go relax in the bath by yourself while I clean up."

"Well, now I don't want to!" You were suddenly so angry, you couldn't see straight, and you also wanted to cry. "You're treating me like a child!"

"You're acting like one."

His words hurt you more than a slap across your cheek would have, and your jaw dropped open. But then his next sentence made it even worse.

"In my house no less."

"Wow," you gasped, turning and running toward the bedroom as you started crying. It wasn't like you weren't paying to be here. You knew it wasn't much, but you had been insistant about giving Jake five hundred dollars per month. And for what? So he could act like you were an unwanted guest?

You ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind you before you curled up on the tub mat on the floor and sobbed. Work wasn't like school. Trying to figure out how you fit in with your coworkers was exhausting, and you were still learning all the ropes. You drove back here every day mentally drained, and up until tonight, Jake was always the one who seemed willing to listen. You should have just cleaned up the kitchen, because now you felt like you didn't belong anywhere.

"Darlin'." Jake's voice was as sharp as his knock on the door. You tried to dry your tears, but it wasn't working, and maybe you really were a child compared to your boyfriend. "Darlin'!"

"It's not even locked!" you shouted, but it came out as weak as you felt. Jake opened the door, and in an instant, he was curled up on the floor with you, pulling you into his arms.

"Fuck. I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I acted like an asshole." You tried to wriggle away from him, but he wouldn't let you. "I think I'm more exhausted this week than I'd like to admit, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

In spite of the fact that you were on the floor crying, you mustered up the courage to whisper, "I'm not a child."

"You're an adult," he said firmly. "An adult who just started a very impressive job. You're holding it together better than I did when I was in flight school." He kissed your forehead. "And you're absolutely right. We should have just climbed in our bathtub and then gone right to our bed. The fucking dishes do not matter right now. They can sit in our kitchen sink until whenever the fuck we feel like cleaning up."

Jake rubbed slow, soothing circles against your lower back until you were all cried out. If you thought you were tired before, it was nothing compared to how wrung out you felt now. You wanted to put forth a peace offering and just get up and clean the kitchen, but his lips were on your damp cheek and his voice was in your ear. "I love you, Darlin'. It has been a long week for both of us. I would like nothing more than to climb in a hot bath with you, relax until the water gets cold, and then get in our bed and go to sleep."

You nodded and started the water while he got two towels ready, and then both of you undressed. Jake kissed your bare shoulder and held you while the tub filled. "You belong here," he whispered. "I don't want you anywhere other than our house."

[bratzforchris]

guess-m. sturniolo

SUMMARY: in which matt just can't stop thinking about your underwear ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

PAIRING: softdom!matt x subfem!reader (part of my pony!reader au :3)

WARNINGS: smut (no intercourse), dirty talk, oral (f recieving), marking, fluffy aftercare!!

WORD COUNT: 1k

A NOTE FROM LILAH: pony!reader the woman that you are⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

You wanna guess the color of my underwear

You wanna know what I got going on down there

The way Matt had been eyeing you all day was undeniable. Ever since you had sported a short, white tennis skirt to the grocery store, Matt’s blue eyes had been roaming your body, trying to figure out what underwear you had underneath the miniskirt. He’d never admit it, but your boyfriend had a thing for lingerie. He loved buying you all different kinds of sets and then getting to guess which one you had on that day.

“Matt, what do you want for dinner?” You asked him, manicured hand coming up to the cabinet to search for something to make for your evening meal. 

“Whatever you wanna make, doll.” Matt hummed nonchalantly, eyes focused more on the heart-shape of your ass than the words that were coming out of your mouth. 

“My eyes are up here.” You joked, feeling the brunette’s eyes watching your backside. 

Is it pretty in pink or all see-through?

Is it showing off my brand new lower back tattoo?

The more you bustled around the kitchen, preparing things for dinner, the more Matt’s imagination ran wild. He couldn’t stop thinking about you in two of his favorite sets, the crotch of the panties already wet with your arousal, just from him dirty talking to you. One of his favorites was pale, baby pink, perfectly accentuating your skin tone (and the fuzzy, pink handcuffs you loved so much), while the other was made of skimpy, white lace that was so see-through, he could practically watch your clit swell as he rubbed circles on your inner thighs. These thoughts, combined with the fact that your cropped baby tee was showing off the new bow that had just been tattooed on your back last week, was enough to make the crotch of your boyfriend’s jeans become uncomfortably tight. 

You wanna put 'em in your mouth, pull 'em all down south

As you slid your lasagna into the oven, Matt had reached his breaking point. The thought that really pushed him over the edge was the way he’d grip your panties with his teeth, sliding them down the curve of your plushy thighs before he plunged into your pussy, devouring it like it was his last meal. 

You had been completely out of touch with Matt’s horniness, oblivious to just how badly he wanted to tongue fuck you at the moment. Without warning, you were being thrown over the brunette’s shoulder and carried into the bedroom, wriggling in his strong grasp. 

“Matt!” You squealed. “Dinner’s in the oven!”

“I think forty-five minutes is plenty of time for me, princess.” 

Without another word, your boyfriend laid you down on the plushy, white comforter that you had picked out for your shared bed. Matt practically ripped your skirt off, tossing the garment somewhere on the bedroom floor. The brunette began to kiss and suck his way down your tummy, leaving hickeys in his wake that claimed you as his girl. 

By the time Matt reached your lacy, baby pink panties, the arousal was taking over him. He gripped the little white bow in his teeth, quickly pulling your panties off the curve of your hips and down your legs. The brunette smirked to himself when he felt the wet patch in the crotch of the fabric, knowing that just the kisses on your tummy had done this to you. 

“Mmmm, Matt,” You whimpered, tangling your hands in his hair as he kissed your inner thighs. “Stop teasin’.”

“You wanna talk about teasing, doll?” Matt chuckled, licking a stripe up your pussy with the flat of his tongue before pulling back. “Let’s talk about you wearing that tiny skirt all day. Makin’ me all hard ‘n shit.”

You moaned at the dirty talk, rutting your hips closer to Matt’s body. “Mmmm, please.” You whined. 

Try it, bite it, lick it, spit it

Pull it to the side and get all up in it

Without another word, Matt dove into your pussy, taking tentative, teasing tastes. He began to slowly eat you out, his tongue exploring your swelling clit and dripping hole. You moaned at the sensations, gripping onto your boyfriend’s brown curls as you practically fucked his face. Every now and then, Matt would add a cheeky little bite on your sensitive bud, making you squeal with pleasure.

“‘M gonna cum.” You whimpered, your back arching up off the bed. 

“Already, sweetheart? I’m just getting started.” Matt hummed against your pussy, running the flat of his tongue against your swollen pussy. 

Your eyes were already rolling back in your head, mind hazy with lust as Matt spit on his fingers, pulling your lips to the side and beginning to finger you. His hand motions were rough and fast, making the ball in your tummy tighten. 

“Oh…oh god,” You panted. “Matt, mmmmm.”

He was fully indulged in you now, mouth devouring your pussy while his fingers worked on your clit and dripping hole. The pleasure was unlike anything you had experienced before as you tangled your hands in Matt’s hair, equal parts hating and loving how he was edging you. 

“Fuck, you taste so fuckin’ good, doll.” Matt mumbled greedily. 

“‘M gonna cum, Matt.” You whimpered. 

“Go ahead, baby,” he hummed. “Cum all over my fuckin’ face. Do it f’me.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You immediately let go, your body pulsating with your orgasm. It was probably one of the strongest climaxes you had ever had, wave after wave of pleasure taking over your body. After a while, you went limp against the sheets, panting and fucked out as Matt licked his lips and chin. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good, pretty girl,” he mumbled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You like that?”

You nodded, your legs still shaking with the after effects of your orgasm. Matt chuckled, before heading to the bathroom to wash his hands and get a wipe to clean you off. You were still completely out of it as your boyfriend crawled into bed beside you after cleaning you up. You immediately curled into the soft fabric of his crewneck as your breathing returned to normal.

“All because you wanted to tease me and make me guess what underwear you had on” Matt chuckled, running a strong hand along your body. 

You curled further into your boyfriend’s side with a soft giggle, enjoying the peace. All was well for a few moments until you suddenly sat up. “Shit! I forgot about dinner!”

tags ♡: @blahbel668 @mattsturnswhore @sofieeeeex @jetaimevous @pkfferoo @idekman1231 @svphscc @littlestar44 @https-roman @flow3rsturns13 @supercoolgirl69 @hearts4chriss @urprobablyscuffed @pepsiluvr0209 @vsigishishis @addiestarx @sturn1ololuvr @sturnclouds @memea32221 @hoes4matthew @whoreformatthewsturniolo @facingreailitysgravity @sturnsmia @sturnobsessedwh0re @sturniolos-f4n @nicksbestie @muwapsturniolo

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[copperbadge]

i was thinking of you the other day and your discussions of your ability or lack thereof to visualize things in your mind, because someone asked me who all had been at a gathering, and i answered them by calling up the room in my memory and looking around it to see who was there. and it occurred to me after the fact that i suppose probably not everyone can do that? but i could even tell you at least approximately what everyone was wearing (color, cut, maybe not precise pattern, but the general style, sure). and while i can’t swear to you that it’s 100% accurate because i don’t have a picture to compare it to, i think it’s pretty close.

but now i’m curious - what would your thought process be if you were asked the same question? if you can’t just look around the room in your mind, is the memory interaction-based? or like… voices you remember hearing? or something else?

Well, bear in mind that I haven't got a great memory to begin with -- possibly the ADHD at work, but also there's a condition that's frequently comorbid with aphantasia called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory -- people with SDAM have trouble recalling huge chunks of their lives and when they do have recall they often remember it as if they'd been told it, they have no emotional sense attached. For example, I remember a trip I took where I had to do some hard shit and it was really scary, but I don't remember the feeling of being scared, I just remember that I was. I have no idea how long the trip was, no memory of the hotel room, very little memory of doing the scary thing. I know I did it, but there's not a lot of attachment there.

This is not ALWAYS the case -- for example I have extremely fond memories of certain other trips -- but I don't really seem to be able to switch it on or off. Like when I was in Europe, I stayed in an AirBNB in London, but by the time I got to Rome like, five days later, I couldn't remember what it was like. I ended up spending a little time one evening kind of calling up memories of where I stayed in London and in Paris to try and hard-code them into my memory, and that worked, but I also needed the help of photos and tumblr posts I'd made to achieve it. ("What did it even look like? Well -- wait, I cooked some pizzas in the microwave while I was there. The microwave was on the counter, opposite the bed, and -- oh, okay, I remember now.")

So like, I would have no goddamn idea of the majority of people at any given gathering where I attended, but is that SDAM, ADHD, a function of my anxiety in social situations, or the aphantasia? Difficult to say.

I hosted a get-together on Sunday and because I was host and there weren't that many people in attendance I could name them off, but I couldn't tell you what they wore. The last party I attended, a week or two previously, was at a friend's house and it was mostly folks I was at least passingly familiar with, but I am bad with names and so couldn't NAME a lot of the people there -- but for example I could say "Well, the hosts were there, and I spoke with X, Y, and Z, so they were definitely there, but I also spoke with like four other people whose names I didn't get. I dunno what any of them were wearing even though it was a costume party." But yeah to even come up with that I would have to think about when I arrived, walk myself through whatever I remember of the event in linear order, and just note down who I spoke with. If I didn't speak with them, or if I didn't know them well, they didn't exist for me.

So I guess the answer is that my memory isn't visual and also just kinda...isn't there a lot of the time. It's not like amnesia, or the profound brain damage you read about where the person only remembers the last ten minutes or doesn't remember anything past a certain date in their life, but I just haven't got much memory for things. It's why I use a lot of lists and spreadsheets and make yearly photobooks.

My photo archive on my computer goes back to about 1998, and it's sorted by year, but the top level folder all the years are stored in is simply titled "Where I've Been" 'cause I probably wouldn't remember, otherwise.

[its-rach-writes]

Like Father Like Son - Chapter One

Pairing: Harry Potter x Reader

Summary: In the midst of a brewing war, a Golden Retriever Gryffindor falls for a Black Cat Slytherin. Hadn't this all happened before?

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of character death,

A/N: Soooo, I'm back in work after having 10 days of annual leave :'( I will be posting every other day instead of every day! Hope you guys enjoy this and please let me know what you think! xxx

Chapter One

It wasn’t like you hated Harry Potter, because you really didn’t but you just didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Your dad had always taught you to be kind to people despite their blood status or Hogwarts house. When you arrived at Hogwarts, you tried to keep an open mind but Potter was simply infuriating.

He didn’t deserve to just be put on the Gryffindor Quidditch team in first year, after spending 5 minutes on a broom. And, you definitely wouldn’t admit that he was a pretty good player. Your infuriation only increased in second year when he emerged bloody and dirty from the Chamber of Secrets. If that had been anyone else, they would have been expelled, Potter didn’t even get points taken from him, in fact he was awarded a special service to the school!

In third year, you had to watch your Uncle love Potter more than he loved you, as they bonded over Potter’s mum and dad. The boy had stumbled his way through the Triwizard Tournament, getting favouritism at every turn, somehow beating students who were intellectually better than him. The tournament had come to a sticky end when he reappeared from the maze, clutching Cedric’s dead body and babbling about Voldemort being back.

In fifth year, oh in fifth year, for the first time in your life, you were grateful for Potter. Grateful that your Uncle wasn’t alone as he quietly slipped through the veil.

The woods were silent as you and your dad foraged in the clearing for potion ingredients. You were a perfectionist so you would be damned if you lost marks because your ingredients were old and shit. Besides, the silence seemed to work wonders for your dad.

“I’m worried for you, dad.”

He scoffed as he put some ingredients into your basket, “why in the world would you be worried for me?”

You bit your lip as the worry swirled in your stomach, “the Defence Against the Dark Arts position is cursed,” you tried not to think about what had befallen the previous Professors. Snape had left the school the year before and your dad had explained to you that the old potions master was coming back so he’d been asked to fill the role of Defence Against the Dark Arts.

“I don’t want what happened to Uncle Sirius happen to you.”

“Oh, my little star,” he pulled you into a hug, completely encasing you in his arms, “nothing is going to happen to me.”

“Love you, dad.”

“I love you too,” he kissed your forehead, “try to be nice to Harry Potter, this year yeah?”

You grumbled into his chest, “I’m not horrible to him or anything but he just infuriates me so much!”

Regulus snorted with a laugh, “yeah, I know the feeling.”

You cursed beneath your breath as the wheel of your suitcase got stuck. Again. It brought you to a grinding halt.

“Hey, Y/N!” you heard Potter before you saw him as he bent down to unstick the wheel. He was always so kind to you, despite your infuriation with him.

“Thanks Potter,” you went to turn away, but you saw how sad his eyes were, despite his smile, “I appreciate that Sirius wasn’t alone.”

Potter nodded as he pushed his glasses up his nose, “how are you doing with that by the way?”

You shrugged, “didn’t really know him.”

Potter scratched the back of his neck and it wasn’t hard to miss the guilt that spread across his face. You could see Granger and Weasley lingering behind him, “see you later, Potter,” you weren’t in the mood to bond over dead loved ones.

Draco waved at you as you pulled open the compartment door and sat between Blaise and Theo, “saw you talking to Potty,” he commented making you laugh.

“Don’t call him that. And, is this the part where you order me not to talk to him?”

Draco scowled at you, “I don’t care who you talk to, Y/N. Just leave me out of it.”

“Deal,” you grinned.

You spent the first hour sharing food with your friends, listening to Enzo’s stories about his summer in Italy. No one asked about your summer, to outsiders it might have looked like they were being rude but you knew they didn’t want to cause you unnecessary pain. You loved them for that.

Pansy looked up from where she was painting her nails, “isn’t your dad teaching Defence this year?” when you nodded, she smirked, “your dad’s hot.”

“What?!” you squawked.

“Come on! We’ve all seen the photograph of you and him that you put on your bedside. He’s sexy.”

“I agree,” Blaise spoke up, grinning at you, “Regulus Black is a dilf.”

You gagged dramatically, “both of you can keep your filthy mitts off my dad!”

The teasing continued until an eagle owl flew in through the open window looking bedraggled from the earlier rain. It landed on your lap and you took the note from its beak. Sparing a glance at the others, you broke the seal and read the letter, getting worried with every word.

“Mattheo’s not coming back this year,” you said as you passed the letter to Theo.

“Did you see him at yours over the summer?” Blaise asked. Voldemort had been taking up residence in the Malfoy Manor.

Draco shrugged, “when he wasn’t shut up in the guest room,” he glanced at you, “I’m surprised I didn’t see you over the summer.”

“My dad fell out of favour just before I was born,” ever since you were little you’d lived in a cute little house in a valley, by a lake.

But when Voldemort had returned a couple of years prior Regulus had moved you back to his mother’s house. It was unplottable on a map and had various enchantments to deter intruders though your dad still had to use Polyjuice Potion each time he left the house. Maybe Dumbledore has figured that he’d be safer at Hogwarts.

The rest of the journey was sobering as you all constructed a reply back to your friend, hoping he was alright. As the train reached the platform, Pansy outstretched her hand to Draco who stayed seated while the rest of you got up. He told the rest of you to go in ahead and he’d catch up.

You turned to Pansy as you got onto the platform, “you know, you can do a lot better than him right?” she’d had a crush on Draco for years.

“Trust me, I know that now. But, he really is the safest option right now.”

Draco quickly caught up to you while you were waiting to go into The Great Hall, he shoved his hands into his pockets as he followed you in. As you got to the Slytherin table, Pansy pouted as she looked up at the teacher’s table.

“I can’t see your gorgeous dad because Theodore is in the way!”

“I’m not encouraging your sick crush,” Theo laughed as he turned to wink at you.

“Thanks, Theo,” you giggled.

Soon enough, Dumbledore introduced the new Professors, Horace Slughorn and your dad, “there he is,” Pansy hissed in your ear over all the applause, you could hear the smirk in her voice.

Halfway through dinner, Potter walked in holding a bloody rag to his face as he sat down with his friends.

You turned to Draco, “what the fuck did you do?”

“What makes you think I did something?”

“You’re the only person who would,” you scoffed as you watched the boy mop at his face with an already bloodied rag. You grabbed a wad of tissues from your bag and walked over, “Potter, here,” you all but pushed the tissues into his hands.

“Y/N, thanks!” he grinned, even though it split his lip open, blood immediately running down his chin.

“Don’t get it twisted, didn’t want to watch you make a scene,” you spun on your heel and walked back across the hall, missing the way that Potter watched you with a dazed expression.

------------

Taglist: @hiireadstuff

[wraithdance]

Stray Dogs | GHOAP x Reader

Synopsis: You never had a problem with strays, but you should have been wary of the rabid dogs begging to be leashed.

Note: F!Reader, No phys. description but reader has background story, no y/n use, Reader is LGBTQ (Bi/Pan) w/ Avoidant attachment issues. Content warning: Mature | avoidant attachment traits, mentions of slight self harming behavior, sexually explicit content, mentions of p in v sex, description of ptsd episode, brief mention of animal death plz skip the last sentence if that may be a trigger.

Chapter two: Soap won’t go home

[4:57 AM]

You were not ‘blissfully slumbering in no time’.

Instead you were having another panic attack in a bathroom.

It would be a consolation that this time you’re at home, but you know for a fact that the Scot you let come over for a quick screw is outside the door waiting. The thought brings more hot angry tears down your cheeks as another bout of trembling makes your teeth chatter violently. 

Johnny knocks on the door again. “Hen, are ye okay?”

You hope he feels your glare burning through the plywood separating you both. It’s so tempting to shriek ‘what the fuck do you think?’, maybe it would even be cathartic.

You wish you could say it. Mean and cruel in return for the simple kindness of asking after your rightness in the world. But the same something that always sits on your chest when you think about doing what you really want constricts you like a Boa.

Swallowing the bitter angry words like thick cough syrup you bite out a shaky, “I’m fine.” 

You know he doesn’t believe you, you can hear his weight shift on the creaky tile in front of the door that you never got around to fixing.

“Bonnie, can ye open the door, just want to check on ye.”

You turn on the tap to the bathtub instead to drown him out. Shoving your hands under the scalding hot water, attempting to focus on trying to get the freezing chill out of your limbs. 

Everything had been going so well. 

Johnny fucked like a dog. A dirty disgusting dog that wouldn’t take his tongue or cock out of your body long enough for you to think much less breathe. He’d had no issue with letting you dominate, had enthusiastically agreed after sloppily and relentlessly coaxing orgasm after orgasm out of you with his tongue and fingers. 

There was a point you thought you might have died a little, as the time between him pressing an exploratory tongue into your asshole before licking up to your clit with harsh pulls, evaporated.

You’d suddenly come back to reality to him pumping two, then three fingers into your sex and tapping on the bundle of nerves inside your body in a come hither motion.

Johnny had worn a self satisfied, shit eating grin on his face when he’d finally come up for air. His jaw and throat slick with your fluids. He’d been anything but subtle about how much it turned him on to see you fucked out and barely functioning.

It’d hurt your ego more than just a little bit. You’d prided yourself on being the one to leave your partners in utter bliss.

It was the least you could do for being a no good, emotionally destitute that only hurt them in the end.

With the intent to redeem yourself you had pushed him to the floor none too lightly, dropping to your knees and diving for his swollen cock. He’d tried to pull your hair and rut into your throat before you bit the skin at his hip and snarled threats at him. It only made the bastard harder.

You’d swallowed him deep, humming around the saliva and solid length of him, satisfied with the roar he lets out in his release.

It took him less than ten minutes to get hard again. He’d pouted at the box of condoms you’d thrown at him but had been pleased when you rolled the latex on his reddened shaft with your mouth.

That’s how you found yourself boneless on top of his body as he pressed long, steady strokes into your cunt. You’d ridden him for as long as you could before the burn in your knees and thighs became too much. Johnny cooed sticky sweet things in your ears with his arms wrapped tight around you like a vice.

“Aye hen are ye tired? Let Johnny make it better, just open for me, I’ll make it better, promise, look at ye, pretty thing I’ve got ya.” Every other word enunciated with an upward thrust.

“Aye I gotcha, yer doing good hen.” He’d panted in your ear with a rasp.

The combination of him hitting the spot deep inside of you like a game of ring the bell and the crooning affirmations, had been too much. To your horror your eyes had prickled with tears. You’d bitten the inside of your lips raw, desperately trying to muffle the broken sobs that clawed up your throat, pushing back against his chest fighting for space. 

Johnny had held you tighter, one palm against your back and the other tight around your neck as he worked you both through a pitiful orgasm that had you seeing stars. Until he’d flipped you over, pinning you into a mating press. 

You’d hyperventilated until you blacked out.

You’re scowling at the way your skin puckers beneath the rushing water. You’re still numb. The trauma therapist at the psych hospital was full of it, distress tolerance didn't actually do shit for distress.

The bathroom lock jiggles and you’re whipping your head to the opening door in panic as it swings open. 

Johnny’s blue eyes are remorseful but that quickly turns to horror. You jerk your arm out from under the water and try to hide it behind your side but Johnny is faster. He’s across the floor in less than two wide strides and forcing your arm from behind you despite your jerking.

“What are ye doing? Hen, look at your arm!”

“I was checking the temperature, I’m fine.” He gives you a look of disbelief and grunts something unintelligible under his breath. He ignores your protests and shuts off the water, freezing you with a warning look when you lift your hand to stop him. 

In the sudden quiet he searches your face, you glower. 

“Come here.”

He doesn’t wait for you to decide to be cooperative, he’s maneuvering his hands around you, one on the back of your neck and the other beneath your chin. Johnny sinks to the bathroom floor to his knees and presses his forehead against yours. 

“Breathe for me, ye can do it bonnie, deep breaths.”

He’s too close. His breath fans across your face, the sensation shocking a sob out of you.  You’re stiffening with panic at the sudden flood of feeling racing down your spine. 

“I’m fine, I just need you to back up-” 

Johnny thumbs his finger across your jaw in slow swiping movements. 

“Breathe. I’m nae asking.”

Fuck.

You take stuttering breaths, he counts each one telling you to hold on the exhale.

In. Out. Good lass, I’ve got ye.

He’s lying to you. But you do what he asks anyway.

Johnny lets you pull back only when the trembling stops. His watchful eyes are bright. Soft. It makes your stomach churn.

“I’m good.” you whisper “You don’t have to stay.” 

He gets the double meaning you're only marginally trying to cover up. Instead of offense he’s smirking and there’s a layered glint in his eyes, like you’ve challenged him.

“Are ye tryin’ to get rid of me?”

Yes!

“No,” Standing from the lip of the tub, you try to side-step his large form. He watches you like a hawk, observing your awkward inch towards the door into the darkened hallway.  “I just have an early morning, so I should get some rest, I’m sorry.”

Letting out a humorless laugh he rolls his shoulders back, ambling to his feet. He keeps an eye on your skittish retreat, taking a step for every one of your own until he’s in the doorway, lifting his arms to hold on to the frame. 

It’s the first time you notice he’s still bare ass naked. 

Tan skin and darkened hair coat the expanse of his body along with various scarring. You’re staring at the small circular puckered skin on his thigh when his cock twitches where it hangs. 

Johnny’s wolfish grin makes an appearance at your grimace.

“Aye, he’s a bit tuckered out as well, hen.” The Scot reaches for you, rubbing his hands down your arms, tucking his thumb beneath his stolen shirt, “We should get some sleep, yeah?”

No, not yeah. He really needed to get the fuck out.

You stiffen in his hold, panic rising in your chest rapidly and he notices. Johnny pulls back to look at you, guiding your chin back to face him when you try to duck your face. He tells you to breathe deep, you hate that you follow his instructions again.

“Ye won’t even know I’m here, promise. C’mon hen, I’ll make ye some tea.”

You’re quietly watching him from your seat at the island. He’s too comfortable in your small kitchen, yawning while he waits for the ancient kettle to heat up.

His thick arms are crossed against his chest and his head nods off as he falls asleep while standing. He’d had the decency to retrieve his boxers when you’d protested about his dick hanging around your food stuff.

You pick at the hangnail on your index finger until it bleeds.

“Why did you defend me?”

Johnny blinks, confusedly coming back from his half sleep. “What’s that, Bonnie?” 

“Tonight,” you say slowly, “why did you fight that guy at the bar? It was because of me right?”

Johnny is quiet. You’d suspect he’d fallen asleep with his eyes open but he cracks his neck after a beat.

“Cause you look like ye needed defending. Didnae like his gommy mug eith’r.”

That causes you to shift in the stool. Johnny takes the kettle off of the stove eye and pours the water over the expired green tea packet he’d found hidden in the depths of your cupboards. When he places down the cat mug Duckie had gotten you for your birthday in front of you, you hesitantly speak.  

“What do you mean by that? That I needed defending?”

Johnny looks like he’s weighing his options before he answers. Furrowed brow and dark lashes partially obscure his electric eyes but don’t dampen the intensity of his gaze. When he concludes some kind of internal war he leans his elbow on the counter in front of you and boxes you in. His eyes tighten at the corners when you lean as far back in the chair as you can. 

“Never been one to walk by when a bonnie lass is in trouble and you looked like ye were on the way to makin’ trouble. Had this look in yer eyes.”

You pretend to not know what he’s talking about. “So if you thought I was ugly you’d have let him maul me?”

His laugh is too boisterous for the early morning, it echoes in the small kitchen. It sends warmth down to your toes to hear it. “Nae I’d ‘ave still hit him, hen. Drink yer tea for Johnny yea?”  

He makes sure you finish every drop, rolling his eyes when you dump enough sugar to rot your teeth. He says something about you being like a stubborn friend of his but refuses to elaborate.

It’s a quarter past six by the time he argues you down about letting him stay with you. His wide form swallows up half the mattress and he still pulls you to him like it’s not enough. Your skin prickles where his touches, the synapses in your brain telling you to distance yourself as fast as you can. Johnny’s hold is tight, he redirects your form back into his every time you try to slip away, so you give up.

You have restless dreams of your grandfather’s rooster, Spirit.  The sound of the bird's neck snapping as corporeal and audible as Johnny’s snores against your neck.

A/N: plz I beg, don't ask me when the next update will be. I am insane in a way that is concerning to the DSM-5 and this takes a lot of my own personal experience and years of therapy to write lmao. Gonna up the rating in the upcoming chapters and start diving into the juicy shit so warning in advance.

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[daenysx]

hello lovely! for your cinnamon girl sleepover, can i request a fic with sirius black (preferably older sirius) where he comforts the reader after she's just come back from a mission and is sort of startled. she doesn't want to admit the fact that she's shaken up, since she doesn't want sirius to worry about her (they are still friends), but eventually she does give in and it's just a lot of awkward mutual pinning and unresolved tension.

feel free to ignore if it doesn't hit your creative spot! hope you have a great day/night ahead! happy fall! 🍂

happy fall, angel, i hope you enjoy <3333

sirius black x fem!reader

sirius thinks he'd really love to wrap his arm on your shoulders the moment you step inside.

you have this way of keeping people around you calm with your face expressions, you don't let them see how you feel no matter how bad the situation is. you need to deal with things by yourself before opening up, maybe even you don't realize you do this.

for sirius though, it's not hard to look into your eyes and see what's going on behind them. you sit by yourself outside after saying your good nights to everyone, your thin sweater barely functions in the september chill. you don't mind. sirius knows you don't wear an extra layer just to feel something.

it doesn't stop him from getting his jacket and walking towards you. you lift your head, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. he smiles back with a wink, always the charmer. you let him sit next to you, he puts the jacket on your shoulders. it's covered by his scent, you take a second to close your eyes and inhale without making it obvious.

"everything okay?" sirius asks, his face turned to yours. you nod. "sure. you heard the mission went well."

oh, yeah, the mission. he cares less about the mission and more about the slight wrinkle between your eyebrows right now. it looks like a kiss would help it loosen up, sadly he's not brave enough to do it just yet.

"yeah, it's- we're all glad it went well." he says, dismissing the topic. "you just seem a bit- unlike yourself."

"it's okay, sirius." you say. "i'll look like myself in the morning after i get some sleep. maybe you should do that too, it's getting late."

sweetest thing he's ever seen, how can he stop himself from leaning his face a bit more to yours? he curls his lips into a soft smile, the one he reserves only for you. he should've made you a cup of tea. he worries more than he wants to show.

"am i that boring?" he teases. "you're trying to send me away so quick, it hurts my feelings."

"come on." you shake your head. "um- you know you don't have to worry about me, right?"

"i'm not sure, darling, do i know that?"

when sirius looks at you like the way he does now, his pretty eyes wide open and his lips almost smirking, you know it's the sight you'll never get out of your head. there are many stars above the sky, and here you are, sitting next to your own star. the breeze is soft against his long hair, he keeps the eye contact going. you can feel your own eyes looking at him with a fondness you can't stop.

thankfully, he's looking at you with the same emotions. you know he won't say anything about it, though. you won't either. "thank you." you say, genuinely. "i think i'm just a bit shocked. i'll be better in the morning."

sirius slides himself closer to you. you accept his half hug, he's doing it so well. his long arm covers your shoulders, securing the jacket on your back. you sit in silence, take in the way his heart beats. you think you could survive any and every mission just to keep hearing it beat.

cinnamon girl sleepover ♡

[fuck-customers]

⭐ I work in a specialty hospital for pets. We take care of cats and dogs with issues like cancer, heart disease, and major injuries, to name a few. We're not a regular vet where you go for checkups. It isn't unusual to see bills costing thousands of dollars. The smallest bill I regularly see is still $200+, while the biggest I've ever seen was more than $20k (that was a single visit, not counting the thousands they spent before getting to that point). All that said, I still hear from clients that we're cheaper than our closest competitor. It's just an expensive business to be in.

As you can probably guess, there's a lot of heartache in this business. While most of our clients can afford the $200 first visit, many can't afford to follow through on their pet's treatment, regardless of how much they love them. Which means they have to make very difficult decisions, or, more realistically, those decisions are made for them based on their financial realities. So while it's painted as a choice, it really isn't.

And that's the worst part. The fact that they're here at all is proof that they deeply love their fur baby and want them to get better. And we're telling them it IS possible, but we need that $$$. And that sucks. That SUCKS.

That all brings us to today. A new client came over to pay his $1,500 bill (which I personally could not do, so he's clearly better off than I am) and starts complaining about the pricing. I don't set the prices, but I understand wanting to complain. But then he said "what happens when someone can't pay?"

And it's like. I mean. It's not some mystery. It's quite easy to figure out on your own. If someone can't pay, then their pet doesn't get treatment. If their pet doesn't get treatment..... well, that depends on the specific issue, but a lot of the time it means they die. Maybe not immediately, but they're on their way, y'know? If they can't pay, they go home.

So I'm trying to tastefully explain that, and he gets more upset and starts yelling that our prices are killing pets. That we could save more pets if we lowered our prices.

GOLLY GEE, WHY DIDN'T WE EVER THINK ABOUT LOWERING THE PRICES? IT MUST BE BECAUSE WE DON'T CARE ABOUT PETS. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT POOR PEOPLE. IT DEFINITELY ISN'T BECAUSE THIS IS THE REALITY UNDER CAPITALISM AND WE'RE DOING OUR BEST. AND OF COURSE OF COURSE OF COURSE, ALL OF THIS IS MY FAULT, SPECIFICALLY. CLEARLY I, AN ENTRY-LEVEL EMPLOYEE, AM THE ONE MAKING THESE DECISIONS, AND IF YOU MAKE ME FEEL BAD ENOUGH, I'LL FIX IT.

Jfc man. Go yell at someone higher up. Go yell at your elected officials and demand universal healthcare for pets. But this shit is already hard enough, and yelling at me while also asking very emotional questions isn't remotely productive. Fuck you. I hope your dog is doing better.

Posted by admin Rodney

[iid-smile]

difficult things

sakura, nirei, suo, sugishita, kaji

if you were dating them series

sakura hakura | feeling comfortable around you

it's extremely frustrating trying to get him to open up to you more. he feels the need to look tougher, to protect you more while telling others to back off, but he misses the sole purpose of the relationship; love. sakura avoids you more when you're dating, more than when the two of you were in the talking phase. might be from embarrassment, might be from hesitance. he doesn't say that you're his partner, but something along the lines of "i find them nice...", which makes no sense at all. everyone that sakura knows is nice to him (a few exceptions here and there), so does he really bunch you up with the rest of them?

nirei akihiko | getting over his insecurities

whenever he talks about himself, most times out of ten it's something negative. it doesn't matter how many times you reassure, comfort or encourage him, because nirei doesn't feel like he's good enough for you. it's not that he avoids you per se, but he hides, he puts you in the spotlight, but doesn't join alongside you, so you feel more lonely than anything. he can be early to dates, but he also skips them without telling you or with a poor excuse. it's genuinely off-putting how much he degrades and insults himself, to the point where you don't even know what to say to make him feel better.

suo hayato | saying the truth

suo is a natural pathological liar, as well as lying just to save face. you would never genuinely know if he's covering something behind his eyepatch or not, because he just doesn't want to tell you, injury or not. he'll joke, tease, do everything but tell you that perhaps he's just not comfortable with showing you. and if he did, you'd be totally okay with that. the way he thinks contradicts how he acts, and he picks out all of the things he doesn't like about you and can be so judgmental about it. if you ask, he won't say. one of his values is to keep up his facade, no matter how free or secure he feels around you. nobody knows the real him, except himself. he's loyal, but not honest.

sugishita kyotaro | admitting his mistakes

he loves and admires you to bits, but to be 'sorry' is a way of saying that he has done wrong to you, and he doesn't like that. not because he's narcissistic and petty, but because he doesn't want to believe that he's hurt you in some way. his way of an apology is silently lingering around you or staring at you until you eventually forgive him. at first, it's cute, but when this happens every time, even when it's a major issue, it makes you frustrated. sugishita finds it hard to talk, and communication isn't his strong point. the two of you could go for months in radio silence, and he won't explain anything to you soley because he doesn't know what to say. he doesn't like to be guilty around those he thinks highly of.

kaji ren | ignorance and bluntness

kaji hasn't yet realised that you think and function completely in a different way to him. he's not used to having to soften up, lighten up his tone and be more gentle. in fact, he doesn't realise that somebody loves should be somebody he treats in a special way and not like the rest. kaji should be adjusting to you, just how you adjusted for him. he talks to you as if you're stupid or as if you lack common sense, and he unknowingly belittles you for every mistake you make, more when you hurt or injure yourself in some way. his affection shows through actions, but still it's not anything sweet, not anything you'd expect from a boyfriend. a lot of the time, he manages to look over you and your needs, and needs a reminder from someone else to check up on you.

[grlpartdoll]

I'm afraid I'm still very much thinking about this Freak weirdo mysoginistic Simon ;(

You're sitting on the couch as far away from Simon as you can get, practically falling off of the edge. You don't entirely trust him when your husband isn't around.

And having Gaz with him, you know that Kyle is soft hearted, and that he would never hurt you, but he's also.. a man. And there's nothing he can do about the fact that Simon putting you in your place does turn him on.

"c'mon, kid. Com'he'a." Simon grunts,,, patting his lap, the obvious chubbed up cock in his pants on full display as he man spreads the fuck out of himself, patting his lap with one hand, while the other just.. casually holds his fleshy member, idly rubbing up and down on it as he watches you.

Gaz, who sits beside Ghost, only looks at you through half-lidded eyes, trying to decide if he'll tell his boss about this, you suppose.

You shake your head at him, at the both of them, hands sweaty on your lap, over your naked thighs. You're not sure why Price decided to dress you in this little white number if he knew you would be left alone with his creepy, low-key insane lieutenant.

The white dress is about 3 sizes too small, hides about... None of your fleshy bottom, and the curves underneath the little dress. Your fertile hips, your peaking breasts. He'd also refused categorically to let you wear underwear. Which was usually the norm for when it was just you and price, but around guests...

You supposed Simon wasn't really a guest all that much anymore. He was over here more often than not, when off deployment, and even during deployment, he would blow up your phone with videos and pics of his hard, almost obscenely huge member, some in which he moaned about taking you, over and over and over and keeping you on him like a little cock pocket, good for nothing else but keeping him hard and warm and storing the seed that spills from those massive freaking breeder balls ;(

"m' Kay over here." You mumble, half watching as Gaz raises a cup of amber liquid to his mouth and drinks a small sip, clearly interested.

"that ain't your place to say, innit, dollie?"

You try to ignore the swoop in your tummy, the tightening of your core at that.

"m'the man here. Y'listen to me, brat."

You sigh, knowing that even if you don't end up going, you'll be placed on his lap by force anyway. So, with shaky legs, you tiptoe to him carefully, trying to tug down the dress.

Paying no mind to your embarrassment, he just grabs you and forces you, pressing your aching core onto his member, manhandling you into a straddling position.

As he watches you with that bored look on his face, Simon just prods and gropes at you. Gropes your plump breasts, your hips, your thighs. Leaves marks of his finger nails.

"y'see, Kid?" He says, to Gaz, now. "I told ya she's all soft and prime for breedin'"

"yeah, lieutenant.." Gaz says, voice gravelly. "I see.."

"Dunno why Price hasn't fuck'd his cum into her yet." He cocks a brow at you, something evil sparking in those eyes. "He's not bein' a bad husband, is he?"

A cruel laugh breaks from Simon when you don't reply, refusing to with your doe eyes closed shut tightly. He grabs your jaw and shakes your head around, making a loud whine catch in your throat. "Too dumb t'even know wot' m'saying rite now." He laughs cruelly, fixing your hair with a little condescending coo.

"yeah, who's a good girl? You? Yeah?"

You pout, pounding on his chest weakly, unable to find the adequate words to defend yourself. At this point, nothing could change his mind anyway.

Simon sighs, rolling his eyes as he tosses you to the side, onto the couch, face down ass up, and you scramble up, trying to get away, but Simon grabs you by the hips and drags you back, spanking you on your uncovered bottom.

"go fetch me a drink, woman," he says, finally.

You stumble a little, but you're a good housewife — so you clench your teeth and go to refill his empty cup. When you come back, Gaz is extending his crystal cup too, raising a brow in challenge.

"don't forget mine, poppet."

Simon pats him on the shoulder as some kind of sick, depraved praise.

So you pad back into the kitchen and come back moments later with his cup, and place it down on the coffee table, ignoring the look he gives you as you do.

"c'm'here," Simon grumbles, catching her wrist. He pulls her in, and kisses you. It's not soft, more like an animal licking into your mouth and marking his territory, and then pulls back. "Y'reward for being an exemplary little wife." He says, smiles at you, and hushers you off, asking you to sit at his feet until he's done nursing on his drink :(

[reputationolivia]

try again?

would anyone be interested in this, i thought of this plot awhile back and started working on it recently but i feel like its just gotten long and idk i feel like it might be a bit boring? so idk if anyone would be up for reading this! but i put a little snippet of it here so if anyone sees this please share your thoughts! :)

18+ minors dni

warnings: none for this one yet.

summary: you and harry dated for almost 5 years but you ended things, only problem? you got a cat together three years ago that you co-parent.

wc: 1.8k

I glanced around in search for opal as I tied the laces on my shoes. She’s always been good at hiding when she sees her crate out and ready for her, but i was ready for her today with her favorite treat in hand. "Opal, where are you baby?” I called for her. pacing through the living room I heard a faint meow coming from the kitchen, and i sighed, already knowing where she would be - the narrow gap between the counter and the fridge. I bend down and waved her treat in front of her little face to get her interested in it. “Come on out sweetie,” i coaxed, slowly her fluffy face popped out of the gap and she began licking the treat. I took this as my opportunity and gently tugged her out and scooped her up, letting her have the entire treat now as I walked over to her crate.

As I helped opal get settles into her crate I tried not to think too much about the trip ahead and what’s to come. The keys jingled in my hands as i snatched them from there small side table near the front door creating a slight sound of normalcy between all of the craziness my life has been lately. I slung my headphones around my neck, and with opal securely inside her carrier i finally stepped out into the bright, sunlit street. I caught my reflection in a car window and felt a bit ridiculous - sunglasses on, headphones dangling, and cat in tow - i shrugged it off and began my journey to the subway station.

The subway ride was pretty uneventful, at least it was at first. Opal was sitting quietly in her crate beside me as she watched the window in front of us, watching the city blur through the window. I put my headphones on and mindlessly browsed through Apple Music, i eventually decided on just playing “my station” after not being able to settle on any of my existing playlists. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular really, i mean besides the fact that I was currently on my way to meet my ex boyfriend of 4 1/2 years. As if my phone knew what was on my mind a familiar melody began playing, i felt my body tense as i recognized it immediately, my chest tightened and the air suddenly became too thick to breathe. I reached for my phone to skip to the next song. It was his song, of course it’d be my luck that’s the song that starts playing as I’m on my way to see him again. Of course, skipping it didn’t help, the damage was done.

Moving on has been hard, actually it’s been more than hard, it’s been hell, absolutely brutal. We were together for so long, four and a half years. That’s a long time to share a life with someone, it wasn’t just the memories that lingered though - it was our plans, the dreams we shared that we’d stay up all night talking about, when the world felt ours. Marriage, kids, a beautiful house with a garden, i thought it was all within reach, that it was just a matter of time. But now? Just the sound of his voice in a song sends me spiraling. It’s only been a couple months since we broke up, and seeing him as often as I do doesn’t exactly help with the whole “moving on” thing.

But now, all we have left is opal.

Opal. Our little baby. She wasn’t quite a child, but the closest thing we had. We adopted her when she was just a baby, three months old. After we broke up neither of us could bear to part with her. we had gotten her together so in the end we decided on co-parenting opal, which isn’t ideal but at the very least she had two people who loved her, and despite our failed relationship i knew she was safe with him. Even if seeing him every time i dropped her off still hurt.

The familiar ding of the subway pulled me out of my thoughts and i realized we were at our stop. I pulled my headphones back down to the back of my neck as i stood up, then grabbed opals crate and hopped off the subway. I felt like the subway ride ended far too quickly, and before i realized it i was walking up the now somewhat familiar street towards his apartment. as i got closer and closer each step i took felt heavier than the last. It felt like i was dragging the weight of everything we left unsaid, unresolved. I tightened my grip on opals crate, her quiet purring served as a reminder that despite everything, some things hadn’t changed.

But most things had.

I wasn’t the same person who used to walk the streets of New York with him by my side, laughing at the stupidest things, talking absentmindedly about everything, and nothing at all. Yet now it feels like that was a lifetime ago when in reality it was just a few short months ago. And now here i was, walking the streets of the city we once shared, alone. Having to act normal in front of the man i loved, love but trying not to as I’m about to hand over our cat like it was just some business transaction, something normal.

Ahead i spotted him standing in front of his building. He was leaning against the wall near the doors to the lobby, looking down at his phone, a casual stance that didn’t betray any of the turmoil i was feeling. Typical harry, i thought. Always composed, always calm. I wished i could say the same for myself. I reached up with my free hand to adjust my sunglasses, hoping they hid more than just the sun from my eyes. As i approached his eyes were still glues to his phone, did he even notice i was walking up to him? Now a few feet away from him, i clear my throat in hopes of catching his attention, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

He finally looks up, his green eyes meeting mine, and though he couldn’t see mine due to my sunglasses i swore i could see something flash in his - recognition? Annoyance? Regret? I couldn’t quite place it. Maybe I’m just imagining things. “Hey,” he said, finally pushing off the wall and sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Hey,” i replied, keeping my voice as steady as i could even though every bit of me felt like breaking and like my voice was shaking with the tension of being this close to him. We walk into the lobby and i crouch down to let opal out. Immediately, she dashed out of her crate, and toward him, brushing against him with a happy meow. I couldn’t help the slight pang of jealousy i felt at how easily she seemed to adjust to this life of back and forth we’d created for her. I wish it was that easy for me.

“It’s been a while, nice shoes by the way.” Harry said as he crouched down, scratching opal behind her ears. He didn’t look at me when. He said it, instead keeping his eyes on opal. I couldn’t tell if it was a statement or a subtle dig when he said it’s been a while. “Yeah works been a bit hectic, and thanks.” I responded as i stood there awkwardly and hugged my arms to myself. Suddenly the distance between us felt a lot larger than just a few feet.

He stood up slowly, his gaze finally meeting mine, and i just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. “How’ve you been?” He asked, for a moment i almost believed he actually wanted to know.

Good. You?”

“Same.” he said, glancing down at opal again.

The conversation stalled, i could feel the silence expanding between us, this is all we had now — awkward exchanges, empty words just to fill the space where something real used to be. I wanted so badly just to say something, anything that could break through the surface. I didn’t even know where to start, everything felt too different, too fragile and close to breaking. Opal meowed again, winding between our legs, completely oblivious to the tension hanging in the air between us.

I sighed, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “She’s been eating normally. Likes to hide under the bed more often lately but that’s probably because of all the travel recently.” Harrys eyes softened a little. “Yeah, she’s always liked her hiding spots huh.” He paused, then added, “I’ve missed her.” His words hung there, suspended in the air between us for a while and for a moment, I wasn’t sure if he was just talking about opal. I nodded at his words, something about the way he said it lingered longer than it should have, i tried to push it aside, maybe I’m just reading too much into his words. Looking down at opal again i sighed, “i’ll uh, see you later.” I mumbled, now just wanting to get out and as far away from this awkward situation as possible. I turned to walk away before he could say anything, i felt his eyes on me as i made my way towards the lobby door. His gaze was sticking with me more than i wanted it to.

As i exited the building, i felt my footsteps heavy on the ground again. I took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air and trying to clear my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the what-ifs. How i wish i could be done with all this. I couldn’t afford to keep dwelling on our past, especially not with everything going on. At least through all this change i still had my job, and im fortunate enough to really love my job. My job has always been my escape, allowing be to take a break from my real life and everything i had going on. I could create stories outside my own, i could be in control, or at the very least, i could pretend to be. But in moments like this, i was just me - and I couldn’t pretend to be anyone else. I had no script or direction, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

The months after the breakup have been such a blur, it’s like I’ve been moving on autopilot. Filming, press events, and trying to keep it together in front of the cameras. I was good at that. I’ve played so many different roles, performed rehearsed lines perfectly, but none of that could’ve prepared me for the messy reality of seeing him. Missing him.

[horoscope1078]

:,)

Jude stood at the edge of the training pitch.. his hands resting on his hips as he watched his teammates go through their drills. It was a typical sunny afternoon at Real Madrid’s training ground but something about today felt different and it had nothing to do with football.

His eyes drifted toward the side of the pitch where his friend and the girl he couldn’t stop thinking about lately stood talking to Rodrygo. She had been coming around more often lately.. getting to know the team since she had moved to Madrid for work and naturally she’d become friends with a few of the players. 

Rodrygo was one of them and as Jude stood there watching the two of them laugh.. his stomach twisted in a way he didn’t fully understand.

He wasn’t usually the jealous type. Jude liked to think of himself as pretty laid-back, and he wasn’t one to get hung up on little things. But something about seeing her.. her bright smile, her sparkling laugh.. directed at Rodrygo made him feel..off.

Rodrygo said something that made her laugh and Jude felt the sharp tug of jealousy pulling at him again. He didn’t like it. Not one bit. His thoughts spiralled..wondering what they were talking about, why she looked so happy around Rodrygo. The realization hit him like a brick..he didn’t want her laughing at Rodrygo’s jokes. He wanted her to laugh at his jokes. He wanted her attention on him.

Jude shook his head..trying to snap himself out of it. He was being ridiculous. She was his friend and Rodrygo was just being friendly. But that small, nagging feeling refused to go away.

The training session ended and Jude made his way over to where they were standing..his feet carrying him faster than he intended.

“Hey you two” Jude said..keeping his tone casual but feeling his heart beat a little too quickly in his chest. 

“Hey Jude!” she greeted him with that same bright smile that always made his stomach do flips. “We were just talking about the game this weekend. Rodrygo says you’ve been in killer form.”

Rodrygo nodded..oblivious to Jude’s inner turmoil. “Yea mate. I was just telling her about how you’ve been dominating in midfield. She’s impressed.”

Jude felt the slightest surge of pride but it was quickly overshadowed by that same sinking feeling. He forced a smile.. glancing at her. “Is that right?”

She blushed.. brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Well.. you’ve been playing really well lately. It’s been fun to watch.”

Jude’s heart leapt at the sight of her blush but before he could say anything Rodrygo chimed in again.

“Hey.. I was thinking we should all grab dinner after the game this weekend. It’d be fun. You in?” Rodrygo asked..his tone easygoing and friendly.

Jude felt his jaw tighten. Dinner? With her and Rodrygo? The thought of it twisted his stomach. He opened his mouth to answer but before he could..she beat him to it.

“That sounds great! I’d love to join you guys” she said..smiling at Rodrygo.

Jude’s heart sank. He wasn’t sure if it was the jealousy bubbling up inside him or the fact that she was clearly oblivious to the way he felt. He knew she didn’t realise what she was doing to him by casually agreeing to dinner plans with another guy. He knew she didn’t see the way his stomach twisted every time she smiled at someone else.

He swallowed hard with forcing himself to stay calm. “Yeah..dinner sounds good” he muttered..though the words tasted bitter on his tongue.

Rodrygo gave him a thumbs-up before heading off to the locker room..leaving Jude alone with her. 

As soon as Rodrygo was out of earshot, she turned to Jude with her smile fading slightly as she noticed the tension in his face. “Hey.. are you okay? You seem..off.”

Jude blinked..realising he must have been doing a poor job of hiding his feelings. He hesitated, running a hand through his hair, trying to find the right words. This was not how he’d planned on telling her how he felt.. if he ever even planned to at all. But now, standing here with her, feeling the jealousy churn in his gut, he couldn’t stop himself.

“It’s nothing..really” he began but then stopped. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep pretending. He took a deep breath and met her gaze with his heart hammering in his chest. “Actually..no. It’s not nothing.”

She raised an eyebrow with her expression curious but soft. “What do you mean?”

Jude hesitated again.. his nerves getting the best of him. But then he saw the way she was looking at him.. so genuinely concerned and something inside him broke. He couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore.

“I didn’t like seeing you laughing with Rodrygo” he blurted out.. his voice quieter than he intended. “I don’t want you to go to dinner with him.”

Her eyes widened and Jude immediately felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up his neck. This wasn’t going the way he’d imagined.. if he’d even imagined it at all. But he was in too deep now. He had to keep going.

She blinked.. her cheeks burning. “Wait..are you..are you jealous?”

Jude winced. “Maybe. I don’t know. I guess so.”

For a moment there was only silence between them. Jude could feel the tension in the air and he was terrified he’d just ruined everything. But then.. to his surprise, she smiled. A shy, almost nervous smile that sent his heart racing again.

“You don’t have to be jealous.. y’know” she said softly.. her voice barely above a whisper. “Rodrygo’s just a friend. But you..”

She trailed off..her cheeks burning as hell. Jude’s heart skipped a beat as he realized what she was trying to say.

“But me?” he prompted..stepping a little closer to her.

She glanced down at the ground..clearly flustered.. before looking back up at him with those wide and beautiful eyes. “But you’re..different. You’re not just a friend.”

Jude felt his heart leap into his throat. Had he heard her right? She didn’t see him as just a friend? He took another step closer, brushing her hands with his, testing the waters.

“So you wouldn’t mind if it was just the two of us having dinner?” he asked..his voice a little bolder now.

She bit her lip..her eyes sparkling with a mix of nerves and excitement. “I’d like that” she whispered..her blush deepening.

Jude grinned..the weight of his earlier jealousy lifting from his chest. “Good. Because I’d really like that too.”

They stood there for a moment, both of them smiling..the air between them charged with a new kind of energy. And for the first time Jude realised that all those little moments, all those small pangs of jealousy.. it wasn’t just because he liked her. It was because he was falling for her. And now..he had the chance to show her just how much.

[not-xpr-art]

Len and Tommy's life told through nine photos ~

A fanart based on the Inside no 9 episode 'Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room' because I loved it so much!

(09/2024)

See below for close ups and unnecessarily detailed explanations of each individual artwork lol

First wanna say that I spent wayy too long on these (like 25+ hours), especially trying to make them look like actual old photos lol... also trying to get their likeness right for the various ages was really bloody hard lol, but hopefully each photo has the essence of each character even if it might not look 100% right pfft...

Second thing is that the dates & locations are very much my own subjective thoughts on their life and not particularly rooted in the canon of the show lol

Also I did go really heavy with the colour symbolism lol...

Ravenhill School, 1965.

The year they met, both are around the age of 10 (give or take). Len is 3 from the left in the top row, Tommy 2 in from the left on the bottom row (also I tried to include references to the other 2 League Of Gentlemen guys... Though I think the only vaguely recognisable one is Jeremy pfft)

Also shout out to @lapis-lazuliie for the idea that they met at school!

(side note, this is the least detailed of all the paintings not just because I was too lazy to render all those children's faces pfft but ALSO because of the significance of them being less recognisable or prominent in each other's lives in this point...)

I was planning on making another childhood/early teen photo but couldn't really think of any good subject matter that could also fit thematically with the episode (also the fact both are coming from poor families who would have had limited access to cameras in this era means we can just pretend that there are just no photos that really exist of them at these ages pfft...)

Photo booth in Leeds, 1974.

Both in their late teens, they'd (well, mainly Tommy) gone to a photo booth in Leeds with the intention of getting some professional looking photos only for Len to immediately make Tommy laugh once they got in there lol

The middle photo is covered in lines as Tommy had planned on throwing it away, only to find he couldn't bring himself to do it in the end... Is it platonic? Romantic? Both? Who knows, you decide lol! I mainly wanted it to be a candid moment between two people that love each other lol

(final one is them play fighting because that's kinda just what 19 year olds are like pfft... also I think photo booths technically gave you 4 photos? so let's pretend there was another photo that they did throw away for whatever reason lol...)

Rehearsals, 1979.

Deep in the midst of practising their routine for some of their first performances!

I'll admit this photo was mainly me wanting to include something more episode specific lol and also to get in some much needed heavy handed symbolism (the crease in the photo separating them, the bottle in front of Len's face, etc)

Polaroids taken at Tommy's flat, 1985.

In-between shows the two often spent a lot of time at Tommy's place (featuring that god awful sofa the previous home owner had left). I did originally plan to have them in the sofa shot together, but was finding it hard to figure out who would have been taking that kind of photo so figured it made more sense to make it shots they took of each other.

Also marks the beginnings of Tommy's weariness (& Len's over drinking...)

Outside the Glasgow Pavilion, 1988.

The morning of that fateful performance...

Ok not much else I wanna say about this other than the reference I used for the pose had Reece sorta awkwardly clasping his hands in front of him which I really liked but unfortunately in my art it just looked like he was trying to cover his crotch so I had to change it pfft...

Tommy standing at Len's grave, 2024.

The sixth anniversary of Len's death, and the sixth time Tommy has travelled across from France to lay flowers at his grave. Photo taken by Leanne from the inside of a taxi (I'd like to have had more references to her in these photos but was unsure of dates/ages where it would have fitted...)

She couldn't get her phone to not focus on the raindrops on the window as she tried to take a picture of Tommy at her father's grave but then realised that she actually liked the pathetic fallacy and had it made into a print anyway lol (look I'll be the first to admit that this is the least 'realistic' in terms of a photo that people would take, but I couldn't resist the symbolism of it lol...)

There were a lot more ideas for photos I wanted to do but for obvious reasons had to keep it to just 9 lol

Also will be posting these on my ao3 with snippets of stories to go with each photo so keep an eye out for when I share that link!

[jensengirl83]

You'll Accompany Me Chp 18

Warnings- Some angst, fluff, mild descriptions of childbirth

Word Count- 3530

A/N- Sorry this has taken so long, but the series is finally finished! I'll be posting a chapter a week until the last one. I hope you all enjoy it!

It had been a month since Jensen had proposed to Y/N, and things were going well. She was still working on getting ready for the arrival of their baby. She was due to go to her next appointment to check on her condition later that afternoon, and Jensen had been trying to get her to reconsider not finding out the gender. 

“Seriously, honey, you don’t want to know what it is?” he asked, his tone almost begging. 

“No, Jay. I want it to be a surprise. Everything hasn’t gone so well since I found out I was pregnant, and I just want this one thing to be something to look forward to,” she chuckled. 

“How many times do I have to apologize for what I did, huh? I’ve tried to make it up to you in every way I know how. You know I’ll never forgive myself for it, so why did you have to bring it up?” he responded, his voice cracking with emotion at the end. 

“Jay…” she sighed, reaching for his hand, but he pulled it away. 

She knew that she’d struck a nerve, but she also needed him to let her explain how she was feeling, and she couldn’t do that if he wouldn’t even look at her. She reached for him one more time just for him to pull away again, not even looking in her direction. Not giving him the chance to withdraw from her, she cupped his face in her hands and turned his face to look at her. 

“I want you to listen to me, okay? Yes, what happened was hard, but that wasn’t what I was referring to. The fact that I was ordered on bed rest because of a serious health condition that could hurt me and the baby was a lot to deal with. Me being so stubborn and taking so long to forgive you and cut what time we could’ve been enjoying this pregnancy together is something else I have to live with. And I kick myself in the ass for that every day, but I have forgiven you, Jay. I really have. So, please, stop beating yourself up over it, and thinking that every time I bring up what a hard time I’ve had, that it means I’m talking about that, okay?” 

She could see his eyes begin to tear up, and she felt horrible. This isn’t where she wanted the conversation to go, but now she had to try and fix it. With a sigh of regret, she pulled him to her, kissing him softly, and wrapping him in a hug. She could feel the tension all over him, so she slowly ran her hand through his hair, whispering apologies and how much she loved him over and over until she could feel him start to relax. He eventually pulled away to look at her, and it compounded her guilt. He looked heartbroken. 

“Jay, I’m so sorry. Please believe me when I tell you that I forgave you a long time ago, and nothing I said was about that,” she whispered, hugging him around his waist and resting her head on his chest.

“It’s okay, baby. I believe you. I just…” he paused, looking down at her, her eyes letting him know she was listening and wanted to hear what he had to say, “I’ve never forgiven myself for leaving you like that, and I think that stress is what may have caused your preeclampsia in the first place. And that makes me feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet.”

“Please, Jay, forgive yourself. I did a long time ago. I was just too stubborn to admit it, and I’m sorry. But, baby, that had nothing to do with what happened to me. It happens to a lot of pregnant women, and you had absolutely nothing to do with it. I love you, Jensen, and if knowing the gender will make you feel better, then that’s what we’ll do,” she smiled, squeezing his middle in a tight hug. 

“We don’t have to find out if you really don’t want to. That wouldn’t be fair,” he sighed in contentment, kissing the top of her head. He loved her hugs. 

“No, it’s okay. Maybe it would be helpful in the end. That way we could buy exactly what we need without getting everything gender neutral,” she giggled as he tickled her ribs. 

“You have any idea how much I fucking love you?” 

“Probably not as much as I love you,” she sassed back, laughing when he sighed in faux annoyance. 

“Always busting my balls, Y/L/N.” he deadpanned, trying to hide his smile. 

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

“No. No I wouldn’t, darlin’,” he replied, pulling her into his lap. She’d never know how grateful he was to have her there. To have her, period. 

Y/N’s knee was bouncing with nerves as they sat in the doctor’s office later that afternoon. She was hoping for a good report and that she could lift some of her restrictions and be more active. Not being able to do much other than cook, light cleaning, and lying around was starting to drive her a little insane. But, something was eating at her that everything wasn’t going to be okay, and she couldn’t shake that feeling. She’d been having small Braxton Hicks contractions, but other than that, everything was progressing as it should. But something just wouldn’t let her feel like everything was fine. 

She jumped slightly as the nurse called her name to lead her back to the exam room. She didn’t think Jensen had noticed how nervous she was, but he had. As she stood, he took her hand, kissing it lightly and giving it a little squeeze to tell her without words that he was there and it would be okay. If only she could believe it. She hadn’t been in the small room long before Dr. Williams walked in with her million-watt smile she always had. It had always put Y/N at ease, but not today. 

“Good afternoon, mom and dad. How are we feeling today?” Dr. Williams asked, sitting down on the small stool and getting everything prepared for the exam. 

“I’m not going to lie. Other than the normal Braxton Hicks, nothing is going on, but I just feel like something is going to go wrong with the exam today,” Y/N answered honestly, Jensen looking over at her, one eyebrow raised in confusion and concern. She hadn’t mentioned feeling that way to him. 

“It’s fine, Y/N. A lot of mothers have that feeling at this stage of pregnancy, and especially if they have complications. Do we still not want to know the gender?” 

“No. Y/N agreed to find out this time,” Jensen replied quickly, his big smile letting Y/N know she’d made the right decision. If this made him feel just a little better about the pregnancy, then he deserved that. 

“Okay, then. How about we get the exam over first to ease mom’s worries, and then we’ll do the ultrasound. That sound good to you two?” 

“Sounds good,” Y/N and Jensen answered simultaneously, making all three of them chuckle. 

Y/N took a deep breath as the doctor started her exam. Having her cervix checked was never a fun time, and she hated it, but it had to happen. Luckily, it was usually over quickly. But she noticed that Dr. Williams was taking longer than normal this time, and her breathing started to pick up and her heart began to race. It didn’t help when she looked up and saw a concerned look on the woman’s face. Jensen had noticed, too, and before Y/N could say anything, Jensen was speaking. 

“What’s wrong, doc? Is everything okay? Is there something wrong with Y/N or the baby?” he rapidly fired the questions at the doctor, his palms beginning to sweat with nervousness. He didn’t know what he would do if something was wrong. 

“Just calm down, everyone. There’s nothing major going on,” Dr. Williams began before taking a breath to tell them what she had found, “But, Y/N is completely effaced and dilated to 5 centimeters.” 

“What the hell does that mean? She’s only thirty-five weeks along. There’s no way she can be dilated!” Jensen shouted, his fear beginning to take over and panic setting in. 

“What?! I can’t be. It’s too early! I can’t have the baby now,” Y/N cried, tears starting to slip down her cheeks.Something was wrong and she knew it, knew something was wrong with her baby. 

“Everyone calm down. This isn’t unheard of with women that have preeclampsia. Yes, it’s a little early, but the baby will probably be just fine.” 

“Probably?! I’m not fine with a probably,” Jensen was yelling now. 

“Mr. Ackles, many women have babies at this stage and most are just fine. Of course, I can’t give you an absolute guarantee, because there isn’t any when it comes to these things. But, I can tell you that I think mom and baby are going to be just fine. Now, I have to go get her a room ready for labor and delivery. A nurse will be down soon to get her moved to that floor. I know this isn’t easy, but I need you both to try and be as calm as you can. That’s what’s going to help mom and baby get through this happy and healthy,” Dr. Williams smiled, patting Jensen on the shoulder as she left the couple alone to try and come to terms with their impending situation. 

“Jay…” Y/N’s trembling voice brought Jensen out of his panic. He was by her side in an instant, running his hand over her head, and kissing her face. 

“It’s okay, honey. Everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered while soothing her, hoping that he would eventually believe his own words. 

“But what if it’s not? What if the baby is too small and…” she began to cry when he interrupted her. 

“No, uh uh. You’re both going to be fine, baby. This is a great hospital, and babies are born more prematurely than ours all the time and are just fine. All you need to worry about is taking care of yourself and bringing our little peanut out to meet us. Okay? I’ve got everything else,” he reassured her, even though he felt as if he would crumble at any moment. 

She nodded her head and cried. She knew that she had a rough journey ahead of her, and she would need all the strength she had to deliver the baby. But she couldn’t stop worrying about whether he or she would be okay. And she knew she had to have Jensen make her a promise before all the craziness got started. 

“Jay, no matter what happens in there, you stay with the baby. No matter what,” she begged, knowing she couldn’t do this without that promise. 

“Y/N…” 

“No, Jay. You have to promise me. Please, I'm begging you. Take care of our baby if anything goes wrong. Please promise me Jay,” she wailed, the tears and fear of what could happen overtaking her. 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I promise, honey. I'll stay with the baby no matter what. But you have to make me a promise. You gotta promise me that you’ll do everything you can to be okay. We’re both going to bring this precious baby home together. You hear me?” he pleaded, his tears finally breaking free and dropping down to her forehead where he had rested his against it. 

“I promise,” she whispered, reaching up to cup his face and kiss him softly, just as the door opened and the nurse came in. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, we’re here to take you upstairs.” 

“I’ll be right behind you,” Jensen kissed her one last time as the nurse walked over to wheel her up to delivery in her bed.

“See you soon, handsome,” she smiled, squeezing his hand as they began to wheel her out of the room. 

Jensen was pacing the floor waiting for the nurse to come tell him he could be with Y/N. Once they had gotten her upstairs, they told him he needed to wait outside in the hall while they got her settled in and hooked to all the monitors, and an IV inserted. He had already made all the phone calls he needed to make. Jared and Gen were on their way, his parents were heading out as soon as they could, and Dee and the kids knew that she would be delivering soon, and wanted to wait until she was in recovery before they came to visit. All he was waiting on now was the okay to be with his future wife. It felt like an eternity before the nurse came out and took him in to see Y/N. Dr. Williams was there when he walked in. 

“Hello, Mr. Ackles. I’ll get you up to speed on what’s happening. Sorry, it took so long to bring you in, but her water broke when we moved her to her new bed. So, that means that there’s an increased risk of infection if her labor doesn’t progress in a timely manner. Which means that I put her on a Pitocin drip through her IV. Unfortunately, that means her contractions will be more intense than usual, but that also means that little Ackles will make their debut sooner.” 

“Okay, so what do I need to do?” he asked, completely at a loss about what he should be doing. 

“Same thing you did with your other three children when your wife was in labor,” the doctor said, a look of confusion on her face. 

“Well, see, that’s the problem. All three of my other kids were scheduled c-sections. I never had to go through the labor part of it,” he answered sheepishly, feeling stupid for not knowing what to expect. 

“Oh! Well, then that makes sense,” the doctor giggled, “No need to be embarrassed. Just do whatever you can to help her be comfortable, and be her support when she needs encouragement. Other than that, buckle up and enjoy the ride. This will be a completely different but amazing experience for you.” 

“O-Okay,” he stuttered, a little overwhelmed with everything going on around him.

“Jay, it’s okay. Just come sit beside me, please,” Y’N’s voice broke him out of his stupor, her tired smile and outstretched hand making his legs finally work to have a seat by her side. 

“How are you feeling, baby?” he asked, running his hand over her head. 

“Remember that scene from Alien?” she chuckled dryly. 

“The chest burster?!” he gasped at the visual image in his head. 

“Yeah, that one. Kinda like that,” she frowned as a strong contraction hit. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe. It’s going to be okay,” he huffed, her hand feeling like it was going to crush his  fingers as she squeezed. 

Jensen kept repeating to her that everything was fine and that she was doing amazing, and that it would all be over soon as each contraction had her gritting her teeth and crying in pain. He hated seeing her in so much pain, and he would do it for her if he could. But since he couldn’t, he stayed by her side with words of encouragement, little kisses on her face and head, and wiping the sweat away with a cool cloth. And after what felt like an eternity, the doctor told them that it was finally time for her to push. 

The flurry of activity in the room as the doctor and nurses prepared to help bring their baby into the world had his head spinning, but he tried to keep his focus on Y/N, and do everything he could to make it as easy as he could for her. Once the doctor told him to hold Y/N’s leg up, he knew the show was starting, and he didn’t know if he wanted to jump for joy, throw up, or pass out. 

“Jay. I can’t do this,” she cried after twenty minutes of pushing, her body feeling as if it would give out at any moment. 

“Yes you can, baby. You’re doing so good. They’re almost here, and we’ll know soon whether we have a son or daughter,” he whispered in her ear, kissing her temple, “I’m so fucking proud of you, honey. You’ve got this.” 

‘Come on, Y/N. I can see the head now. Just a few more pushes,” the doctor yelled out, making Jensen look down. 

“Don’t you dare look at that! It’ll scar you forever,” Y/N screamed, groaning through another contraction. 

“Baby, nothing could ever make me think any differently of you,” he said sweetly, looking back down to where the doctor was, “Oh my God! Honey, I can see the head! It has so much hair!” 

Jensen was elated. He couldn’t have imagined that this experience would’ve been so profound. Of course, seeing his other children being brought into the world through c-section was absolutely amazing, too. But this was a completely different ballgame. 

“Okay, Y/N. One more big push and you’ll meet your baby,” the nurse beside her said, holding her leg up higher to give her more leverage to push. Jensen followed suit, and leaned back to Y/N. 

“Come on, baby. You can do it. One more and we get to see our baby,” he cooed, kissing her forehead as she gave one last push. 

The sound of a loud cry pierced the room, and Y/N and Jensen both let out cries of their own at the wonderful sound. She’d done it. She’d endured the worst pain of her life, and now, her son or daughter was there, screaming for the whole delivery floor to hear. She’d never heard such a beautiful sound in her life. She continued to cry tears of joy as Jensen kissed all over her face, his tears mixing with hers, him showering her with praise for what a great job she had done.

“Mr. Ackles, would you like to cut the cord?” Dr. Williams asked, a bright smile on her face, “You have a very healthy baby over here.” 

Y/N and Jensen began to sniffle at her words. Their baby was perfectly healthy. All the worry of them being premature and having complications melting away. Jensen walked over to cut the cord. His breath caught in his throat when he looked down, the doctor smiling at him. 

“How about you cut this cord, and then you can go tell mama what the gender is, huh?” 

Jensen just nodded. He was speechless. This experience had been one of the most nerve-wracking but beautiful he’d ever had, and he couldn’t wait to tell Y/N what the gender was. Once the cord was cut, and the baby cleaned and wrapped up, Jensen slowly walked back to his fiancee, a face-splitting smile on his face. 

“Honey, would you like to hold our son?” he asked, a tear slipping down his cheek at the way Y/N’s face lit up with his words. 

“It’s a boy?” she whispered, her voice breaking with all the emotion she was feeling. 

“It’s a healthy little boy,” he beamed with pride, gently placing their son in his mama’s arms. 

“Oh my God, Jay. He’s beautiful, and just perfect,” she said with awe, kissing the little boy’s nose, forehead, and cheeks. 

“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” he hiccuped with emotion, placing kisses all over her face between every word of thanks. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Jay.” 

“Yes, I do, baby. I have to thank you for being my friend all those years, for giving me the chance to be your boyfriend, for forgiving me when I fucked up so royally, for agreeing to be my wife, and especially for giving me what I didn’t even know I needed, another baby to love. So, yes, darlin’, I’ll owe you thanks every day for the rest of my life,” he whispered, afraid all the emotions he was feeling would take his voice if he tried to speak any louder. 

“I love you so much, Jay,” she smiled through tears, reaching up to cup his face. 

“I love you more than I’ll ever be able to tell you, baby,” he leaned down to capture her lips in a soft, quick kiss. 

Jensen leaned back to look down at Y/N and their son. The love in her eyes as she looked at their son took his breath away. How could he have been so selfish to have even thought to deny her this? She was going to be a great mother, and he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her, raising their kids, and just loving her. He knew at that moment just what a lucky son of a bitch he was, and he was going to do his damnedest to never take that for granted again.

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[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Part X

Word count: 2200+

Warnings: mentions of trauma and burns

Autumn themed divider by tsunami-of-tears

Part IX | Part XI

Waking up was laborious and it needed several tries, but when you finally managed to keep your eyes open, you were greeted by familiar surroundings of your cozy room. You let out a shuddering breath. For some reason, you expected to wake up back in that dark room with those two disgusting males above you.

No! It was nothing. It won't happen again. It won't. It's over, you forbade yourself to think about it. There was no doubt that these unpleasant memories would haunt you day and night, so you did the same thing that you did with all bad memories - you pushed them deep down where nobody could find them, not even you and closed the door. The moment it was done, the tremor stopped and you just lay in bed blankly gazing out the window.

After few minutes you inhaled deeply, ready to start all over. It was nice to find out that you could again breathe normally and even the pain was mostly gone. You raised an arm that was certainly broken before, carefully spinning it and trying to move it. It didn't hurt at all. Next you touched your face and hissed. It was still quite sensitive, but you didn't feel any wounds nor swelling.

Closing eyes you took another deep breath and another, enjoying the feeling, the fact that you could do it. You didn't worry about the scars or any temporary bruises that could mark your skin. For some reason you never had any left, your skin perfectly intact, porcelain white.

You rolled to your side and bumped into something solid and warm lying next to you. Slowly opening eyes, you found your husband still deep asleep on his stomach, covers pulled up to the ends of his short hair. Someone had cleaned him up, the bruise under his eye was almost healed, too. A layer of sweat glistened on his forehead.

Several strands of silky red hair were falling to his face, so you gently brushed them back, founding out that the ends on his right side were burnt as well as tip of his ear. Your heart clenched in pain.

"Eris?" You didn't want to wake him up. You just needed to make sure he was real, that he was alive.

His eyelids trembled slightly in answer and that was it. He didn't even move.

"It will take more to wake him up," an amused voice called from the door.

Groaning you sat up and frowned. Killian with tray of jars and bandages in hands was heading to Eris's side of bed, his face unreadable.

"Healers had to properly dope him to keep him asleep, you know. He was trying to get to you, so we dumped him into your bed, but even that didn't work much." He put the tray on bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed.

It took awhile for his words to completely sink in. Despite of Killian's rambunctious voice, his brother didn't even as much as stirred. Swallowing hard, you gently wiped sweat from his brows.

"Is.. is he hurt? How bad is it?"

"Do not worry," he smirked but it didn't reach his eyes. "He will be fine in day or two. It's just easier when he is calm and stays still."

He reached out and took your hand, gently squeezing it. The warmth spread in your chest in a second. "How do you feel? You looked pretty bad. It's really miraculous how fast and well you heal."

"I'm fine," you shrugged, your gaze again fell down to your husband. Is he fine though? He had to fight with his own brother, even killed him. All because of you. And Killian? It was also his brother.

Killian narrowed eyes on you. He leaned over Eris and grabbed your shoulder, making you look up at him. His other hand cupped your cheek. There was something so warm and brotherly in his touch and the way his sad amber eyes burned up.

"Don't even dare to think that this is your fault. Do you hear me? Volkan was asshole and deserved it. Not me nor Eris feel sorry for him. Believe me. I'd kill him myself for what he has done to you," his voice was grave. More than anything he seemed to be mad at his other brother, Volkan.

He held your gaze until you nodded, then flashed a smile. His attention moved to his older brother.

He pulled the covers off of Eris's back and revealed his shirtless form with the bandages on right scapula and shoulder and on his left side above the the hem of trousers. However that wasn't the reason why you gasped. Whole his back was covered with whiplash scars and burns of different sizes. Your lower lip quivered as your eyes watered at the sight of such cruelty.

"I was wondering whether you two already did it or not and here is the answer," Killian snorted. Despite his attempt at a joke, there wasn't even a hint of amusement in his voice.

"He doesn't want people to know about this. He tried to hide it even from us, his siblings, and especially from mother, but she always knew," he added lowly and began to loosen the bandages with fresh burns under.

"Who-.." You couldn't finish the sentence.

"Who did this? Well.. we have more in common than you think. For start, our fathers were monsters. Yours at least covered up all the traces. Ours loved to show off his work."

You recoiled, pulling the covers to your chest. "Have you seen my body?"

He shook his head. "Only healers and your maids. Don't worry. I went only so far as staring at you while you were sleeping, but you already know that," Killian winked and blew you a kiss. He took one of the jars, dipped finger into the ointment and began to spread it carefully.

In silence you watched him to repeat the process until the wound was all covered. Then he took clean bandages and wrapped the burn. Your gaze moved to Eris's face. It was painful for sure, but he didn't even as much as frowned in this state.

"Can I do the other one?"

Killian looked up at you with raised brows. He hesitated for a moment and then handed you the jar with ointment. "I think that inside he would be so happy to know you took care of him, but he would be also angry that you've seen him like this, you know."

You swallowed hard and moved closer. "Do I just.. spread it?"

"Yeah," Killian answered softly, moved into the chair by the bed and eyed you thoughtfully. "He hasn't told yet, right?"

You tilted head to the side curiously. "Told me what exactly?"

"Nope, nothing," he shook his head. "My bad."

You frowned and focussed on the task at hand.

The outlines of the armour plates were burned into the flesh on Eris's shoulder. This wound was bigger and more severe than the other one. It must have been so painful when they undressed him. Touching him as lightly as you could, you spread the ointment and bandaged it.

When you were done, Killian took the tray, muttered something about the food and left.

Sitting there you watched your slumbering husband, biting on your lower lip anxiously. You suddenly needed to touch him, be closer to him, feel him, so you simply reached down and with feather-light touch traced the lines of his face with tip of the finger. He looked so young and vulnerable in sleep, his features soft and relaxed. You leaned down and kissed his cheek, inhaling his pleasant scent. You snuggled to his neck mindful of his wounds and stayed like that until your heart started to stutter.

You couldn't resist any longer and counted the freckles. Twelve cute little freckles on the right cheek. You smiled, satisfied, hoping that some day you would get a chance to count even the ones on the left side, now hidden in pillow.

Then you weaved fingers into his soft red hair, combing them back again and again, soothingly. Slowly moving to the back of his neck and down the spine, you mapped the scars, wishing you could erase them together with memories that were tied to them. Some of them were really deep and big as your palm and you didn't even want to imagine what could have caused them. It was breaking your heart onto pieces.

"It's gross, isn't it."

You startled at the sound of his hoarse voice clouded with emotions. His eyes were still closed, now wet with tears, but he was undoubtedly awake.

"My back.. It's gross, right? You don't have to-"

"No, it isn't. It just.. hurts to see how much you had to suffer," you sobbed. When did you started to cry? You wiped the tears into a sleeve of your nightgown.

"Not more than you," he finally looked up at you, his amber eyes calm, resigned.

"I'm sorry if I made you angry. Killian told me that you don't like others to look at your back. I shouldn't have touched you without permission.."

"I'm not angry," he sighed heavily. "To be honest, I quite enjoyed it before you got to the scars."

He was awake all this time? You didn't know what to say to that, too embarrassed.

"Do you usually cuddle with unconscious males like that or am I the exception?" he teased you, chuckling when he noticed your blazing cheeks.

You gaped at him, mortified to the bone. You never heard him joke around with others let alone with you. Eris was mostly a serious male, it was hard to believe he had it in him. "I-I don't touch others," you stammered. "How could I? I-"

"I know," still laughing he took your hand and pressed it to his cheek. "I'm sorry..

"I love when you are touching me," he murmured into your palm barely audibly, his cheeks tinted pink.

He closed eyes, his breaths slowed down after awhile. Minutes ticked by and he didn't move even slightest. Thinking that he fell asleep again, you pulled up covers on his bare back and caressed back of his head. Amber eye opened, watching you with a strangely sad glint in it.

"How do you feel?"

"Such small burns can't hurt me much," his smile didn't reach his eyes. "And what about you?"

"Some spots are sensitive to touch, but otherwise I'm completely fine."

"Really?"

"Really," you nodded.

"I saw what they did to you, what they were about to do.."

"I'm fine. Thanks to you." You smiled at him gently while mentally checking the door. Intact yet you felt uneasy all of a sudden.

Nothing happened because Eris was there. He came for me. It was nothing.

He closed eyes and heaved a sigh of relief. "I wanted to kill them all again and again when I saw you on the ground." He exhaled sharply through his nose.

"So little was missing and I wouldn't have found you in time. Just this little," he indicated with his fingers. He slowly got up, grimacing and sat facing you. He seemed to be angry or maybe worried. It was hard to say, but you felt guilty nonetheless.

"I needed something personal for my hounds to track you down," he gestured to the vanity, "but there's nothing solely yours in this castle. Thanks Mother that you haven't thrown away that birthday dress. Why didn't you say anything? It's no trouble to get you some combs, hair clips or whatever you need."

You felt so small. With every word your shoulders slumped more and more. You looked down on hands clenched in your lap, avoiding his piercing fiery eyes.

"If it's uncomfortable for you to tell me, you can.. I don't know.. write me down a list.. or tell your maids.."

"I'm sorry, but I-.. I have everything I need," you muttered, feeling like a child scolded by parent.

"Bullshit," he snorted humorlessly. "You can be selfish with me. Ask me for things you want. I'm begging you. I will give you anything your heart desires."

Anything.. A certain thought flashed through your mind and you bit on your lower lip.

"What is it?" His index finger hooked under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. You swallowed hard, hesitating.

"Anything," he reassured you when you didn't speak up right away, his voice soft. "Just name it."

His hand moved to your cheek, thumb gently caressing you, while his burning amber orbs were searching the depths of your soul for answer.

You moistened your lips, your palms began to sweat. "What if.. What if I said I want you?"

He gaped at you and then burst out laughing. "I'm here literally offering you a moon on string and you ask me for something that already belongs to you. Other females wouldn't hesitate to ask for jewellery, more dresses and who knows what but not you." Eris shook his head in disbelief and his features once again softened. If you didn't know better, you would think that you saw tears shining in the corners of his eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat and you blushed fiercely.

"From now on you'll wish you could get rid of me," he winked and flopped down into sheets, making himself comfortable on your bed.

[r0-boat]

Whb Amy Headcannons(+Sitri)

Random sfw&NSFW headcannons

Nothing pisses Amy off more than being treated less than his rank, He knows he's strong so he wants to be treated as such. You have ever are the only exception as much as he hates being babied You're the only one with the privilege In fact he craves it. It's like a wild tiger or lion purring and meowing as you run your fingers through his hair. He craves your touch and acts like a golden retriever when you're around. It pisses Sitri OFF because to him Amy is some vulgar animal that needs to be put down and here he was getting attention from the human he tends to be very possessive over.

Good Lord Levi would be proud from the amount of jealousy and envy seeping through him right now. And in turn Sitri gets more violent against him which probably disgusts you and babies him more. a constant cycle. Amy has caught on and is not helping citri turned his favorite teacup into dust from the way Amy smirked at him when you held him into your arms.

Scary dog privileges. He doesn't care if it's a king from another country or their subordinates. He will glare them down and growl like a beast only for you to turn around to see him smile pleasantly at you.

Sitri has deleted Amy's contact from your phone so many times that you've memorized it and has it written down somewhere.

As much as he cannot stand the idea Amy touching you he'd rather be in the same room trying to wedge his way in the middle then think about of what he and you might have done to each other.

Humans like gifts right? What do humans like??? He's never thought anything about love or romance and now that he likes you He's trying so hard to court you. Amy is not really good with words So the most he'll do is just give you gifts standing there awkwardly his face red and his eyes to the ground as he clutches of bouquet of crushed flowers in his hand. (He squeezed them too hard)

Absolutely melts for compliments when you say a compliment to him he starts brushing it off and degrading himself as if he doesn't deserve that compliment or he yells at you for being embarrassing. But he secretly loves it.

Is the kind of boyfriend that will let you do anything to him. Whether it be braiding his hair painting his nails or doodling on his hand. Piemon would be so jealous because Amy would never let him do that He truly does have a soft spot for you.

Amy is also prone to jealousy but his jealousy is not violent or intense hatred like Sitri's He just gets really needy and clingy hoping you would give him attention. Looking at you with puppy eyes. (Gehenna is just full of needy lap dog demons lol)

Nsfw

unlike Sitri, Amy is very gentle with you in bed out of a fear of somehow breaking you hurting your killing you. He will get better at this in overtime start treating your body more roughly if you want him too. When he had sex with Solomon He was not gentle and he tries to explain that you are not your ancestor. You are smaller softer and much different and he's afraid to hurt you.

Amy loves when you ride him, You're small human body squeezing around him as your hands scratch and hit him feels so good.

Yes it's no secret that he has a humiliation kink And he doesn't have enough courage to ask you to be mean to him like Sitri does.

Amy is Actually a little shy when it comes to sex. He looks at you as if this was the first time he's ever seen a naked body His eyes wide and full of hunger lust and wonder His large hands and fingers gently tracing over your naked body trying to memorize every little inch.

After he's first had to taste of you He could never go back constantly hard all the time thinking about you reducing him to a desperate mess reading into his blanket and pillows pretending he's inside you.

(Amy switch supremacy) from Tiny human over him treating him like shit hhhh please dominate him he'll be such a good boy for you too desperate animal fucking you full of his hot cum.