#really thought i had that one in the bag
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man what the fuck
#JUST WHEN I FELT COMFORTABLE ENOUGH WITH A LABEL DID I START QUESTIONING MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE#long story short there is this person i feel like they're super cool and i really really really want to be friends w them but#its not how i typically feel about wanting to be friends with someone else??? one of my friends was like maybe you have a crush on them#like what the fuck#anyway im queer now?????? not aroace anymore what the fuck#really thought i had that one in the bag#i mean this is mainly only for romantic but ??? i dont even know if its real or if i literally just wanna be their frienf#BUT I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON SOMEONE EVER???#so WHATS THE DIFFERENCE#and this person is mainly just vibes we've interacted like 3 times and had surface level conversations wtf is happening#im done actuslly im just done carinh
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#marshall d. teach#blackbeard#blackbeard pirates#one piece#whitebeard pirates#my art#so sometimes i think about how teach stayed on WB ship for close to 30 years#now i know he was fighting and doing his part but still he never tried particularly hard and he was basically living under his dads roof#for his entire adult life#and would have continued to do so if not for the yami yami no mi#anyway after talking with a friend it got me thinking about him as a neet so there#really loose concept and this is just me procrastinating but kind of funny i thought#neet au#about marco since someone mentioned. since he was ship dr and 1st commaner i wouldnt consider him a neet#marco had a lot of responsibilities while teach was just a regular member#so marco would be the more mature and successful older bro#anyway with this i finally drew bb with tired eye bags#like this man doesnt sleep. he should look tired as hell#i feel like im going crazy#i want to draw highschool luffy and discord mod teach having a brawl on the street
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huegehgshhgeehu big slappy
#tf2#tf2 scout#scout tf2#shitpost#big slappy#i fucking love the big slappy image so much you have no idea#it's so unbelievably silly#look at him go wee haha!!! heeheehoohoo#ignore the headset that may or may not be missing i forgot which side of scout's head it's on#also the duffel bag. didnt feel like drawing it#he was off duty ok#this is him joyously going to a date with miss pauling and/or sniper#also while drawing his pants i thought about that one really funny tf2 fact that came out around the leaks#which is that the blu scout's pants have been the wrong colour for like the entire lifespan of the game up to that point#because whoever was doing the textures forgot to enable the correct colour layer and no one noticed for over a decade#classic valve#honestly i think blu scout looks good with the brown pants. i dunno there's just something about it-#-that tickles the ''cool colours'' part of my brain#it might be a jon arbuckle thing for me because he had brown pants in gaf and i just think that combo looks nice#i like it!!#anyway. slap him on the ass
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Day 12 - The Killer "Iconic. The bringer of doom. It gives them pleasure to pick of the cast, reveling in their own cat and mouse game. No matter their backstory, it always leads to slaughter in the end."
from @windbrook's Slashed Challenge.
#he's a bit of a lazily designed killer#but i thought the smiley face was a mildly creepy touch#😅#by the time i got to twelve i wasn't sure what to do#and i was done downloading cc so#i had to improvise with the hats/masks in the game#which turned out to be fun the eco living bag is kind of a good option like he could have got it anywhere#i can't believe it's the last prompt though i had so much fun with these#going to work on a character page i think for them all#because i'd really like to work on some edits for the plot#thanks everyone for enjoying the sims it's been super fun to see the likes they got so thank you 😁#slasher dude#(i never gave him a name...#i had one but i feel like it's already been used)#day 12#windbrookslashed#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 screenshots#ts4 screenshots#tw murder mention#tw murder#tw death mention
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well that's the worst nightmare I've had in a while
#we were at the grocery store and a shooter came in. my sibling and i were separated at the time.#they died. and i was theone to find their body afterward. so. that fucking sucked.#woke up and strted to cry bc i thought it was real for a second#dream journal#edit bc i dont eant to reblog it to say this but ive had time to process it now#i was the only fucking person who cared that xe died. the dream cut to after the shooter was arrested and we were preparing for xer funeral#i think the dream implied that yhe shooter was an ex employee at the store and my dad and i were trying to like. talk to the owners about Y#Your Ex Employee Killed My Fucking Sibling#and the manager or boss or ehoever just. didnt care. didnt have any sympathy#my dad was there. but he didnt speak. i had to beg the managet to feel anything for the child who was shot and killed in his store.#to pay for xer funeral? i dont know.#we were there getting a blind bag toy xe had talked aout going to get irl since it was a short walk there really#i was looking for those pink chocolate chips.#to make cookies fro my friends#thats why i eoke up thinking it was real i think#most of my set-in-reality nightmares hinge on something that Cant happen anymore. this one was based on Recent Events and Planned Events#i had woken up just before six. when xe gets up for school. so i stared crying bc Oh My God Xe's Dead Xe's Never Going To Go To School Again#i dont think ive looked them in the face at all today.
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Hey, you know what's always been a weird thing in Silvers room? Not not the clocks or the birds but the Owl... Mask(?) That's on the wall.
Hey what were the humans called that invaded Briar Valley? Silver Owls?
Do I have anything to put together? Nope. It it an interesting detail? Yes.
#ive always thought that the owl / bird mask(?) was a weird addition to his room but before i never really questioned it#but now...#ch7 really got my mind acting up huh#also idk what those bags are in his room#i was changing the background from the event one to silvers room and I had a revelation#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#twisted wonderland silver#silver vanrouge
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People be out here saying "don't get the free plastic bags from the store, just buy reusable ones!" as though my parents haven't been using the same 10 free plastic bags for the past seven years.
Most things are reusable if you have enough determination.
This is a shitpost I support environmentalism and also people who need disposable shit for health reasons I just thought this was funny please don't hate me-
#environment#environmentalism#reusable#reduce reuse recycle#recycling#waste disposal#plastic bag#shitpost#made this post because i (college) student was buying emergency groceries and realized that i forgot my bag#and i had too much stuff to carry in my arms so the cashier asked if i wanted a bag#and my first thought was 'oh good a free bathroom trashbag'#like yes plastic bag are still bad but i also think it could be interesting to talk about the ways in which we still reuse disposable thing#i have been using the same paper plate for the past three meals#i throw it out when i think it will attract ants#growing up my parents subconsciously taught me every possible way i could reuse a disposable bag#so i don't completely mind it when i get one from the store because for me it's really similar to a normal reusable bag
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fuck meeee one of my flatmates locked Both Doors when he went to work and now i'm locked outside in the storm with no idea when my other flatmate gets back 🙃🙃🙃
#i thought i had my keys in my backpack but they're apparently in my other bag#and i didn't really stress about it since one of the doors is basically Never locked since the handle is Fucked#but noooo the day i Actually Forget my keys is the day my flatmate actually locks it kill me kill me kill me#im wet and cold and hungry and i really need to pee#and instead of telling me when she's getting back my other flatmate is just repeatedly calling me a loser like thanks dude#really needed that rn#i wanna lay down and cry#does fish make noise??
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don't mean to be a little freak but since i work in a hospital now ive got a new perspective and appreciation for gore art. like oh my god you got that fat tissue just right—
#i have seen so many internal organs man#i held a large intestine in my hands (was gonna say bare hands but they really weren't)#he'd gotten a colostomy like 12 years earlier but after 7 years his intestine fell out! it fell out! and the doctors were like eh it's fine#and it was. he'd had his intestine hanging oout of his stomach for 7 something years and it was fine. and i held it in my hands#a good five inches of intestine. like a tentacle. in my hand#i put my entire hand inside a new crazy hole i found in a guy (to this day the grossest thing ive seen in my life i thought i'd die)#(like you can't... you can't understand... you can't....)#i put my hand inside a guy's foot! they had made a large hole in it! i put my hand in#one woman just had her small intestine out in the open like it was nothing! walked around and everything w a lil plastic bag over it#there are so many crazy holes to clean and flush#like. just. stomachs. do you have any idea how good the body is at having holes. sometimes holes just appear and eat their way thru the bod#making tunnels like a little ant except it's your body and suddenly ur intestine is inside your bladder or whatever like how did THAT happe#.txt#a man shat blood all over me i cleaned it forever man#one guy got a fistula between his intestine and aorta so he got like shit in his bloodstream. how did that happen!
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Talking to [leftist/socialist/progressive/whatever] white people as a brown girl is always an experience
#🐈⬛⚜️#A couple weeks back I was stopped by these uni students who were promoting a convention and advocating for Palestine#I was really sad and tired then so I was like sure. let's chat#I signed a petition and began talking to these 2 girls#One was a white girl. the other wasn't. could not pinpoint her background though#Anyways. we talked about the state of the world and Palestine and how the US and by extension the Western World has failed them#(which is a topic of its own because the Western World did not 'fail Palestine' they literally wanted this annihilation to happen#and have been an active participant in it)#And I pointed how ultra rich Arab countries have completely turned a blind eye to it but poorer countries such as Yemen. Lebanon have#been doing so much. despite their own vulnerable position#And this girl said but they're still not doing enough. they could lend military help#I was just disappointed because it doesn't take more than 15 seconds to realise why a regional war is not the solution#By virtue of wanting justice. I would want the IOF to be blown up too but that's not the solution#simply because the casualties will be the civilians of all of these countries and we cannot put millions of people at risk#And she kept telling me about how they're a socialist group. and she was also kind of taken aback by how much thoughts I had about this?#They're having a convention on Socialism and co (social issues. Marxism and all that jazz) next month and that I should consider cominv#Then she hit me with 'The entry is only $90' and there's a student bundle where you can get a book and a tote bag#Honestly funny as shit#And she kept insisting I should buy the book. it was 'Introduction to Marxism' I believe#I did not know how to tell her that I did not want to read that. and even if I did I would just pirate the Communist Manifesto#Anyways. interesting experience and it did make me focus back on how different Brown Leftists and white leftists are#I like to give them grace because it's hard to know context and history and social rules about somewhere you haven't lived or grown up#But I do believe if you're advocating for another group of people. you need to learn and understand first and foremost#I actually don't know what to make of that whole interaction tbh
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My gender complex goes back 3 generations and through two queer women and their family trauma, I feel like I know what I'm talking about. We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two.
#i got my gender from my she/her misogynistic transmas gay dad who's also the mother of my mom.#my sperm donor doesn't matter here.#he's kinda fruity though and swears he's just a straight southern boy in alaska.#my dad/grandma and my sperm donor/dad were/are both autistic though.#im pretty my great-grandfather (whom i was named after (whom was named after his father)) was autistic to.#and even though he was an abusive piece of shit the autism had him connect with one of his four lesser-sons.#so she got a bit of a complex from really admiring him. i got a bit of a complex from really admiring her. i was named after him.shit's wild#oh yeah and a psychic told my grandma in a past life she was her fathers husband and she thought it was crazy but he said that makes sense#(in that past life he was his daughters wife to clarify)#he didnt even believe in that shit she was blown away when he said that like ''dad you're joking right?'' (he wasnt)#it was to explain why he always broke down in tears hearing the bag pipes.#this hardcore military man would just start crying when he heard bagpipes playing. absolutely break down.#and the psychic said it's because they played bagpipes when my grandma/his/her husband came back from war after leaving her to fight.#she had the gaul to give my mom his last name. her maiden name. and well my mother never married so i got it too.#the family hated us for that.#and he treated her(my grandma's) daughter way better than any of his own kids. so the family hated us for that too.#my mom's also an ace/bilesbian lol.#out of all the confusion im trans so like. i feel like i have a better handle because of that.#i take a bit of pride and freedom in the confusion.#hexacles.txt
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i’ve been trying to get through hoh for literally like a week now but it’s so hard bc the way my fave nico is treated is absolutely ABYSMAL and i know it only gets worse
#personal#even hazel being like ‘yeah he’s hard to get along with’ or whatever she said#every single non-tartarus perspective has had at least one reference to this#and like i understand the reasons it’s not that it’s that it highlights this issue i have with a lot of the characters in that series which#is that i don’t like them. and that’s so different for me bc i actually usually find that my two favorite characters in anything are the tw#that don’t like each other? unrelated to that dynamic usually mostly but still within it#but that’s not even what the dynamic is yk.#and it’s just the whole thing overall like in the last book there was one part where these two characters who are supposed to be good#friends are separated and one makes a comment about how annoying (or something along those lines) she finds the other which.#i’m vaguely aware of what happens in toa so i think you could argue something about that but read on its own bc i don’t want to make that#argument without fully grasping where her character goes#it just kinda reinforces this… vibe to the whole series that was not nearly as present in the first series of like. really overemphasized#like gender roles/heterosexuality/etc. i can’t think of the word to use to describe it. i’ve seen other ppl talk about the parts that add u#to the whole that i’ve seen but never synthesize them. and it really varies between actually insidious and simply not my taste which is par#of the reason i hesitate to make a full critique out of it. but suffice to say i really don’t like it#with that being said the pacing of this book is really good and i am compelled to finish based on the themes i do find interesting#autonomy being a huge one#but anyway those are my thoughts on it after a few days of a break. i’ve been playing a video game instead :3 but i start work on wednesday#sooo i won’t have as much free time boo#looking back maybe ‘insidious�� is a very strong word for it. i’m talking about like when percy complains about the bag and similar moments
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the only time I wish I had a significant other or even just a roommate is when I’m snacky enough for a bag of popcorn or mayhaps kettle corn but not enough for a whole bag & have to decide if I’m gonna a) waste half a bag b) languish in my snack cravings for the rest of the movie c) devour an entire bag & hate myself
#one bag of popcorn isn’t that much I’m not trying to act like it is#it’s just if I had dinner too sometimes I’m not really that hungry I just like to snack if I’m watching a movie u know#also I have no commentary on this movie yet I’m reserving judgement & thoughts#it’s just one of those movies that I can tell is unfolding & I can’t really have commentary this early in#movie tag
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Feeling a little more insecure lately about just how thin I am tbh. If you like girls who look dead as they continue to breathe every day hmu.
#bmi says leaning to underweight but still in a healthy range but the bmi scale is bullshit#my ribs are constantly visible and if I'm laying back my already thin tummy can sink a little deeper into me#i look like a draugr#also i have super deep and dark eye bags and I kinda like the aesthetic tbh but it contributed to looking dead#i need to eat more and gain weight but my relationship with food is so horrendous#and lately my appetite has been really bad too#i felt so bad a I met with a friend on sunday who bought me dinner at this Vietnamese place right#i took one bite and it took so much effort to swallow it and i had to stop myself from vomitting twice#and it wasn't the food being gross I just couldn't do it#i ate a plain ass meat and cheese sandwich (which i thought was a safe food) last week and gagged on the last bite#but i sure seem to be able to keep stomaching fast food I don't wanna spend the extra money on#what is wrong w me
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hanging out with my coworkers is such a delight miss me with that i hate my coworkers lifestyle i go out to drink sangria with mine to simultaneously juggle conversations between ingmar bergmans daughter, stand up comedy bits, the question of how much is lost in translating ancient greek and planning on how to steal passion fruit that was ripe for the taking in this very specific open space
#<3 what an incoherent lovable beautiful group which i adore so much#someone used an expression i HAD NEVER heard and i thought it was literal so we died laughing for 30 minutes#one of my coworkers was like.. and can you believe he took his guitar and put it away#and i was like. wait there was a guitar?? he had a guitar??#and... apparently thats an idiom that exists. somewhere somehow#i just figured the man had a guitar with himself which he resolutely decided to put away#one of my coworkers forgot to put his son his second sandwich of the day and the child was like... dad... where was my food???#and the way he told this was so funny i had to gasp for myself. what an animal. to forget to pack the SECOND sandwich of the day. how dareh#no father of the year award for him ive assured him#anyways life is really on what you decide to keep and to cherish and to love#then THEN i had roland barthes in my bag and one of my coworkers saw and she was like#CAN U BELIEVE A TEACHER OF MINE HAD CLASSES WITH HIM#and i was like... the times we live??? what the fuck??#im 3 handshakes away from barthes you guys
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Eating cherries and feeling like summer
#3615 my life#although yesterday i had a tshirt#a thin long sleeved shirt above#and a fleeced sweatshirt above.#it's the middle of june and it's so fucking cold !!#i have a very fond memory about cherries#when i was around 12 i think ? something like that#biking in the village street and there was this cherry tree whose branchs were going a bit over the wall onto the street#and so i had stopped and was eating the cherries i plucked from it#like sitted on my standing bike right under the cherry tree branchs#and this old lady living in the house of the tree saw me and i thought she was going to tell me off#but actually she went like 'help me get all those cherries from the tree and i'll give you some !'#it's been very very long ago#but i think i went up into the tree to get the cherries down to her#(the dip of the Y shape of the tree wasn't very high#so as a teen i could mostly easily do it)#and then i biked home with a plastic bag full of cherries#it feels a bit dreamy so i don't know if all part are true or if i changed things to it each time i remember it#but this is really such a nice memory. childhood adventure with a kind stranger given treasure to go home#thank you old lady from a long time ago this makes me happy still decades past.#yeah yeah insert 'are you crying' meme here.#also i used the 'vinegar to keep fruits fresh longer in your fridge' post !#they're done drying now so the ones i don't gobble up in the next few minutes will go into the jar(s)#a spoiled cherry i left out yesterday was all moldy this morning*#(morning : 4pm)#it's incredible how fast it goes#which made me actually sort the cherries i had just left in the brown bag and put into the fridge#quite a few were already spoiled alas#but now i know how to do it and to do it quick and it's really super easy#we'll see how they fare in the next few days
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