#really shouting into the void with this one

[jenosonlywife23]

"Where Do We Go From Here"

The room was quiet, save for the faint hum of the city outside and the distant sound of rain tapping against the window. You sat on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, staring at the steaming mug of tea in your hands. Jaehyun stood across the room, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed as he watched you with a pained expression.

The weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air, thicker than the silence between you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

“I don’t know what else to say,” you finally murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jaehyun pushed off the wall, running a hand through his hair as he approached you. He stopped a few steps away, his tall frame casting a shadow over you. His eyes, deep and searching, met yours, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of hope.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, his voice steady but soft, like he was trying not to break.

Your heart clenched. You wanted to believe him—you really did. But the fights, the misunderstandings, the growing distance… it felt like you were standing on opposite sides of a canyon, shouting into the void.

“I don’t know if we can fix this,” you admitted, your grip tightening around the mug. “It’s like we’re trying so hard to hold on, but we’re just…” You trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

Jaehyun took a deep breath, crouching in front of you so that he was eye level. He reached out, his hand hovering over yours before finally resting on top of it. His touch was warm, familiar, but it didn’t erase the ache in your chest.

“We’ve come so far,” he said quietly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Are you really ready to let it all go?”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you bit your lip to keep them from falling. You weren’t ready. Not really. But the constant push and pull was exhausting, and you didn’t know if love alone was enough anymore.

“Jaehyun,” you whispered, your voice trembling, “I don’t know where we go from here.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with finality, and for a moment, neither of you moved.

Jaehyun’s jaw clenched, his eyes glassy as he searched your face for something—anything—that could give him hope. Slowly, he rose to his feet, taking a step back.

“Maybe…” He paused, his voice cracking. “Maybe we figure it out together. Or maybe… we don’t.”

Your tears spilled over, and you looked down at the mug in your hands, unable to meet his gaze.

“I just… I need time,” you said, your voice barely audible.

Jaehyun nodded, though his expression crumbled at your words. He turned toward the door, hesitating for a moment before looking back.

“I’ll wait,” he said, his voice steady despite the heartbreak in his eyes. “For as long as it takes, I’ll wait.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving you alone with the rain and the echoes of his words.

As the door clicked shut, you let the tears flow freely, your heart aching for what was and what might never be. The rain outside grew heavier, mirroring the storm within you.

You weren’t sure where you and Jaehyun would go from here, but one thing was certain: the love between you was still there, lingering like a haunting melody, refusing to fade away.

[everlastingday]

favourite fandom memories

thank you @thisbuildinghasfeelings for creating this tag game and for tagging me! 💜

favourite fandom memories tag game post

1 - how tarlos and lone star brought me back to tumblr and fandom after almost a decade

i still kind of feel like a bit of an imposter/outsider since i've only really been on here since late october, i think? i posted my first tarlos fic to ao3 after 5x05 aired, and then shortly after revived this tumblr account from the dead (my last post before then was literally in 2015 lol) because i was just itching for more tarlos and lone star content. rediscovering the joy of being part of a fandom has been such a highlight of the last year for me. it's a little intimidating to join a fandom that seems so tight-knit and already fully formed, but i want to thank anyone who's ever tagged me in anything and made me feel like i was also welcome to join in on the fun and not just lurk from the outside 💜

2 - liveblogging and post-episode analysis

i am a yapper and a rambler at heart and i've loved being able to liveblog the last few episodes and just sit with my feelings and write up my silly little thoughts. something about putting those thoughts into words and throwing them out into the void, even if nobody sees it, makes it such a different experience than just watching the episodes alone. my first post-episode word vomit about the tarlos loft fight will always remain my favourite because it's about them and love and family.

3 - fanfic, obviously

there are SO many talented fic writers in this fandom, i truly feel so blessed. my to-read list continues to grow by the day, and i hope that never stops being the case. i also want to shout out love game by @welcometololaland, which holds a special place in my heart because while it was not my first tarlos fic, it was my first foray into reading tarlos au fics, and the one that made me realize i actually really love au fics in general. i read it for the first time around this time last year, and have reread it so many times since then (and i definitely owe you all the comments lola, i'm so sorry! i promise one of those guest kudos is from me tho 🥲)

anyway let me stop being all in my feels and just say that despite being sad about the show ending soon, i'm so glad i'm not sad about it alone 💜

open tag & no-pressure tagging a few people under the cut!

@heartstringsduet @whatsintheboxmh @nancys-braids @reyesstrand @captain-gillian @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @carlossreaders @lightningboltreader @eclectic-sassycoweyes @firstprince-history-huh @carlos-in-glasses @nisbanisba @henrygrass @emsprovisions @paperstorm @futures-tense

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

i love that scott was like ‘oh we’re based next to a pale forest, i can do like a cute creaking inspired skin’ and then bigb just completely blows him out of the water with his skin, like dude you look fucking pathetic next to that i’m sorry

[lurkingshan]

I’ve been contemplating why Spare Me Your Mercy is flopping and there are a lot of reasons, but length isn’t one of them. There are a whole bunch of dramas that can tell their stories in 4-6 hours and still deliver complex plots and some of the deepest and most thought provoking shows we have the pleasure of watching. It’s not about needing more time, but calibrating your story to the time you have.

Pacing can make or break a show, and by that I mean both sequencing and timing events well so that the story feels like it’s moving forward with appropriate energy, and also pacing the beats of the narrative and the relationship development so it all feels organic. Some shows that get this wrong struggle with feeling bloated and draggy and losing momentum, and others with trying to stuff too much in and rushing through story beats so that the emotions don’t end up tracking with the plot, and as a result viewers can’t keep their emotions engaged and end up bored.

SMYM falls more in the latter category IMO. This whole story would have made A LOT more sense if we had begun with Kan and Tew already in a relationship rather than trying to develop a romance alongside a murder mystery in which one is suspecting the other, while also trying to deliver educational programming about euthanasia and the arguments for and against it. It’s just too much to be trying to do at once, and the story keeps trying to lean on emotions between Tew and Kan that it hasn’t earned. It’s a shame.

[luna-the-cretar]

I think Frost and Torbek’s relationship would be…idk the right term for it. Soft? Domestic? Like, I know the fandom is generally pretty horny (At least, most of the fics on ao3 are), but I just wanna read about like soft and domestic moments between the gay furries

Like. I imagine that Frost would teach Torbek how to read and write (or, at least the basics of which). I also imagine that Frost is also weirdly in-tune with his friends emotions (kinda like irl house cats), and since Torbek is a walking whirlwind of bad emotions, I imagine Frost would give Torbek Calming Cat Cuddles whenever they have downtime (also whenever Torbek has a nightmare or something)

Idk, i think my desire to just watch them be cute and soft is partially because i just. Torbek deserves all the cuddles. They all do, but especially my sad baby boy. He deserves the world and then some. And I know Frost is capable of being soft and compassionate, even if he’s gotten significantly more murderhobo-y upon entering the Feywild.

Idk man, I just want these two to cuddle, is that so much to ask?

[finniestoncrane]

my thing is, i want to talk to people. i want to be good at socialising. but i've never really had much practice, so i don't know how? i don't know how to carry on a conversation. it makes me nervous and anxious and makes my stomach hurt and it tires me out. i would love to have a constant back and forth. it'd be swell lmao

unfortunately. i cannot and it's confusing. i want to talk, but i can't. and i also don't want to? mental illness cocktail gets in the way

like earlier i was going to speak to people, i'd typed a couple messages out!! but i figured they wouldn't want to talk to me which is fine i know that's likely just the anxiety. so then i thought "i know, mitigate the risk!! i'll ask if people want to chat about a specific topic with me so they have to opt in" and then panicked because that would mean people would talk to me? which is what i wanted? LMAO

confusing and irritating, so i made a meme

[honey-bird10]

**tscir chapter 434 spoiler!!**

"Sung Hyunjae reached out a hand as if to support me, but I declined. I could walk on my own, both before and now."

GOD THIS SCENE MADE ME SO ILL AND SAD, I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO CONVEY HOW HEARTWRENCHING IT WAS AND THEN THIS LINE CAME UP AND I REALIZED OH

THIS IS WHERE THEY'RE AT IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP RN

God it's just so horribly tragic, this entire scene is just shj trying his best in his own way to be someone that hyj can confide in, letting himself be someone who hyj can open up to, before coming to the realisation that hyj still doesn't see him as someone he can open his heart to yet. The entire time, shj is waiting for him to just say anything about how he's feeling, but hyj doesn't see him that way. Because for hyj, he's been doing things on his own for so long, opening his heart to shj isn't even an option.

[herrscherofmagic]

Collection of WIPs for my newest honkai 3rd AU: a synth- and post-punk band AU! featuring the band “Mirror Mirage”

More art and an explanation further below

I dont want to put too many details down yet since i intend to do more with this and don’t necessarily want to spoil future story stuff, but the gist of it is that its an AU focused on the villainous Herrscher personas (except Veli, but she fits the vibe lol)

The tentative setting I’m working with for now is Central Florida and its meant to be a more serious/realistic AU with a focus on young adult life, not late-teens stuff. Think less “fun times at Perfect Fairytale College(TM) with my besties! Lets have fun and study today!” and more “rent is due, my roommates are assholes, the hourly bus is 20 minutes late again, and i almost got hit by a drunk driver on my way to work for the third time week and it’s only Tuesday”. That sort of thing lmao

I’m not sure if there’s any real interest in a story that focuses more on some underrated characters like Herrscher Mei (not normal Mei as a Herrscher, but her alternate persona), much less a story that also deals with more serious IRL issues

Mei is bassist and a vocalist, formerly lead until Kiana (more precisely HoV in Honkai terms) joined; Mei also handles the finances as she is an accountant in her day job working at a community redevelopment agency. Has a strong sense of justice and puts on an air of confidence and superiority on stage and when fending off hostile folks, but acts with great humility with the ordinary people she encounters in her daily life.

Kiana is the (new) lead vocalist. Works the graveyard shift at a gas station and is a self-proclaimed “cynical asshole” that barely gets along with anyone else; also plays the guitar occasionally. She was dragged in by Mei and reluctantly joined the band, leading to an awkward and tense relationship with the others, but her incredible skill as a vocalist means the rest of them put up with her shitty attitude.

Seele is the lead guitarist; she is an immigrant from Estonia and came to the US with Elysia a couple years back, in early 2022. Keeps in touch w/ Bronya, who is still living back in Europe. Tends to be a bit withdrawn but is very loyal to the band and would throw hands to protect the crew. Seele has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and is a system comprised of two alters: Saule and Veliona. Veliona is the one that actively plays in the band.

Elysia (HoC in Honkai terms) is the synth player and mixer, and does a lot of work in planning and executing complicated tracks both live and in studio recordings. Despite being having no local heritage, she loves switching between a southern cowgirl persona and her usual preppy nice-girl persona. Since Elysia is said to be from “Vladivostok 51” in Honkai canon, that would make her Russian; however for the purposes of this story im headcanoning her as Ukrainian (which ik is far from Vladivostok irl), simply to mix things up a bit, lol

Fu Hua (Senti in Honkai terms) is the drummer; still a college student, shes a bit of an odd one out in the group, but was there since the beginning and has grown close with the rest. Has a bit of an attitude and says cocky things, but is much more timid at heart and acts a lot more calm with her friends at school.

A huge part of the inspiration for this story is a desire to try and depict the more ordinary aspects of urban life, adding flavor to mundane daily activities without relying on magic or scifi or high-octane action and drama. The villains of the story aren’t comic book supervillains, but rather its the various systems that the characters have to live within- corrupt governance, financial struggle, societal divide, etc.

I also really want to tell a story that emphasizes the queer experience. Not just the usual lovey-dovey girls-love stuff, but what life is actually like for real women in real sapphic relationships when living in the state that passed the infamous “Don’t Say Gay” bill IRL. As much as I love the canon KiaMei relationship in Honkai 3rd, i think it’s hella sanitized and can’t really convey the depth of the history and culture of the LGBTQ+ community. So I’m hoping to address this by placing their relationship in a specific real setting, one where LGBTQ+ folks (including myself) have to fight for our rights, acceptance, and representation.

As for musical inspiration I largely draw from a few big sources: one of the bigger inspirations is ASTROPHYSICS & MINTTT, as well as more recently Chappell Roan; genre influences include rock/punk, synth/EDM, and Sovietwave! This is both inspiration for their vibes and also for what type of music i imagine this band would play

The last image is a more suggestive one but ive hastily and sloppily censored it, so hopefully that is okay with y’all x-x

I rarely make spicier content like this, but having listened to The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess for the first time today and then listening to it 4 more times in a row, I couldn’t help but push the limits of what i usually do just that little bit, lol

[rose-void-789]

Bitches be like "Bkdk is toxic! He told him to kys in the first chapter" and then have this as their favorite ship's first interaction.

[iliadeleart]

[jacqcrisis]

CHAPTER TWO OF JAYVIK MAGIC REALISM AU IS UP FOR PERUSAL (if you want to)

Last of the two introductory chapters. Now we can get into real relationship building hours.

[byanyan]

can i just like. lie here on the floor in the middle of the night and cry a little just bc i'm so grateful that i can log in here and yell and sob about this weird little sparkly freak child who lives in my brain and y'all actually?? read that shit??? and like it???? and encourage & enable me to continue doing so??????

[maranull]

started keeping a diary, and the main thing that surprised me is that I'm putting down names. acquaintances or friends, it's in quite the contrast with my last attempt at keeping one when I was a teen

even if I'm still very reserved and overtly cautious not to bother people, there are people. I don't think teen Mara ever thought that would happen

[lurkingshan]

We have arrived at a mutual crush, people! And the way they did it makes total sense. Of course the thing that catches Jane's interest and starts those warm feelings toward Ryan is Ryan seeing him in a way no one else at work does. Just the fact that he actually asked Jane about the rumors instead of going along with negative assumptions was already notable, but to then follow that up by acknowledging that he sees how hard Jane tries and how much he's holding--of course Jane is going to want to keep someone like that close. Everyone else in this place just hands him burdens and then criticizes every imperfection in the way he shoulders them; he needs someone who is actually on his side.

Which is not to say he will do anything about any personal feelings he is developing for Ryan. Jane is a professional and there is no way he will be hitting on his intern, and I liked that despite inviting Ryan to his home, we saw that he kept an appropriate distance and kept the conversation focused on work. It was really nice to see him take a beat to recognize that he was unnecessarily rude to Ryan amidst his stress and actually apologize for that, and then take the time to teach him something properly. It's another characteristic of a great leader to recognize their shortcomings and have some humility about mistakes. Btw, I will be needing an analysis of every item in his home, that set was jam-packed with rich character details.

I also really loved the way we saw Ryan blossom under some proper mentorship and get excited about putting together a pitch deck once he had a better sense of how to think about it. His giddiness at getting to wear Jane's clothes to the office was also adorable, and I like that next week we're going to start dealing with the fallout of people noticing his crush. He is not exactly subtle with the adoring looks and radiant smiles whenever Jane is on his mind.

That all of this happened in parallel with Ba-Mhee finally starting to take her job seriously was also excellent. I was glad to get the backstory on her and Tae because it helped me understand her fixation on him a lot better. She was chasing him for years before he finally acknowledged her, and part of her must feel insecure about how mutual their feelings really are. But it doesn't seem to me like he doesn't care about her, he's just wired differently. I am now hoping that rather than a breakup, this is headed for Ba-Mhee finding herself outside this relationship and getting to a healthier balance.

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

did i ever tell you guys about the time where i was binging secret life and then went and interacted with people and kept trying to figure out what their task was. real life human people.

[daydreams-and-honeybees]

Been thinking about Atlantis: The Lost Empire lately so what if Milo x Kida but Huntlow