#really nice compared to when i got my new machine this summer and it said manuals are available on the website :/

[butchdoggy]

[unwrittenlibrary]

Saturday Sun I

Summary: it’s the beginning of may. mother’s day has come and gone, with your family trip coming up and things are seemingly falling apart even more. you and harry are forced to come head to head with real issues. (harry x fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.3K (second part will be the longer piece) 

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Find all in depth warnings in the first two parts. 

Notes: hello, part three is divided into two parts, this first one focusing on some conflict & the second part to it will focus more on family dynamic & light resolution. part of this piece has harry’s pov instead of entirely the readers. 

Part One & Two (along with a companion piece) can be found in my h.s masterlist! 

-

i need to ask her

what’s going on?

are we going strong?

May - Part I

It’s the Monday before your flight.

April had come and April had gone and you were still struggling to focus on anything but your kids and issues with Harry. You suppose that’s okay, your next deadline was months away and with the trip coming up all you could focus on were those things. 

Mother’s Day had slipped your mind completely. You were busy making lists and triple checking flight info to even think of asking the kids and Harry about their plans. 

“How was your weekend? Everything went well?” Dr. Walsh’s voice forces you to look up from the new watch that adorns your wrist. 

You glance at Harry, who waits for you to answer. You shrug. “It was nice… Harry and the kids treated me yesterday.” 

The watch is a beautiful rose gold color and is a thin band compared to the band of your last watch. Your kids initials had been engraved onto the inner band. It was, by all means, a lovely and well thought out gift. Not only replacing the watch you had worn for a decade and had finally snapped, but reminding of the best parts of your life. 

“Tell me about your day!” Dr. Walsh smiles kindly. Her eyes move between you and Harry, polite and u judging, before landing on your wrist.

“I got breakfast, at the table, breakfast in bed is too hectic with three kids and a baby.” You laugh softly, thinking of the kids and their not well hidden excitement for your day. “And they all got me gifts. The twins made clay handprints in school. Seph picked out a new wallet for me and even bought it on her own!” 

It’s impossible to contain your happiness that rolls off of you when you talk about the kids. Bragging about their thoughtfulness and kind gifts makes you almost forget where you are.

“That sounds so lovely.” Dr. Walsh brings you back down. Your eyes move to Harry. His eyes are open and he’s smiling softly as you speak. But his fingers are fidgeting in his lap and you know he had hoped you would be proud of his gift too. 

And you were. But maybe that was the worst part. That it was kind hearted and well thought out and so very Harry that you almost hated it. You hated how one small gift had caused a sliver of hope to crawl into your bloodstream and make your heart race for him again. 

That it made you believe, for one brief moment, all his promises and words about never falling out of love with you and never wanting to let you go. 

“Harry got me a watch too.” You finally say, quiet and full of despair. “Mine snapped a few weeks ago… It has the kids initials in it. It was a good day.” 

Dr. Walsh nods. “It’s a lovely watch.” Her eyes move pointedly from it on your wrist to you. “So what’s wrong?” 

You fiddle with it, twisting it on your wrist and tapping the face anxiously. “It feels tainted.” You steadily avoid looking at Harry as you say the words. Dr. Walsh nods, but doesn’t say anything, silently urging you to continue. “I love it. And that… makes me feel guilty. And it makes me feel dumb because one stupid gift made me forget this bullshit for a second and I just felt that love for him again.”

There’s an intake of breath to your right, but Dr. Walsh doesn’t look at all shocked by your words. “It makes sense. You want to be angry. You have a right to be angry and when something gets in the way of that, you’re unsure of how to feel.” 

You nod. Her words make sense. You did want to be angry and after your brief elation with the gift you found you still were. 

“I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life?” You whisper. 

She shakes her head. “No. One day, this anger will be gone. But… it’s up to you whether or not you can get there with each other. If you can forgive Harry and let go of the anger. Or not. Neither is wrong.” 

You nod. Sometimes these sessions felt like she was strictly talking to you. Harry just listened. Spoke up when you asked him to, or when Dr. Walsh worked on exercises. 

A part of you found that it helped. You were able to say things you may not have ever said to Harry. But sometimes it felt like he was unsure if he should try and that made you angrier. 

-

Harry’s hopes are built up and shattered. It’s his own fault, he knows it is. Knows that this was an easily fixable marriage before he fucked up. 

You’ve talked about the cheating a little in therapy. Dr. Walsh has mentioned it, you’ve let your anger out, Harry has apologized. It’s a cycle that seems never ending. He doesn’t know what to do. All he wants so desperately is to fucking fix it. 

But...

The drive has been silent. You stare out the window at cars and buildings that pass. There are bags in the truck rustling around, a last minute stop for last minute items needed for the trip. 

You had been silent in the store too. Quietly checking off your list as Harry pushed the cart behind you. Had his gift upset you this much? You still loving him made you this angry? 

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Harry finally says, forcing his voice to cut through the silence. You startle and turn to look at him. “Tell me what to do.” He pleads. 

He knows you can hear the desperation in his voice. Whether or not you were angry at him, you knew him, you knew his tells and his emotions. 

“What do you want me to say, H?” Your voice is a whisper but still harsh. “I don’t know! I don’t know what you can do! Build a time machine. Don’t cheat on me.” 

“It feels like we’re going in circles.” Harry tries to keep his calm. He wants to keep the anxiety and hurt out of his voice. “Like, you’re angry then you see this chance and there’s hope, then there’s anger again.” 

You scoff. “I’m sorry my pain isn’t linear enough for you! I’m sorry that sometimes I see glimpses of you and I’m reminded of us ten years ago, so in love and oblivious to the outside world. Sorry that it all comes crashing down when I remember that you fucking cheated on me!” 

Harry sighs and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I fucked up so bad. I know. I know. God, what can I do? Anything.” 

“Why did you do it?” You ask instead of answering. There’s a coldness in your words and Harry’s aware you’re both trapped in the car for another twenty minutes. So are you, apparently. “And don’t give me the same bullshit about being selfish and not knowing why and it being a mistake.” 

Harry feels desperation claw at his throat and tears burning in the corner of his eyes. It’s like he can’t breathe, trapped in a coffin of your anger and his guilt. He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road as he talks. “I… I felt wanted. I liked the attention.” 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, but Harry keeps his face forward and eyes focused. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Y/N…” Harry trails off. “I… I can’t.”

You groan and fall forward with your head in your hands. “I need to know, H. I don’t… I just need to know because all I can think about is these what if situations and scenarios in my head. And I’ll just keep running through them until I hate you.”

Harry bites down on his lip and spares a glance at you. “What if… What if I tell you and you hate me anyways?” The question is unfair. He knows it is. But he can’t fathom a world without you in it. A world where he sees you on drop off days and has to plan separate holidays. 

“I don’t know.” You say quietly. But, it feels like answer enough. There’s no reason for you not to leave. 

And Harry guesses a promise to try was never really a promise to stay. 

-

notes: thank you for the patience! i understand this piece is short, this part has been a lil tricky and i wanted to get the first part to may out before summer courses begun. i’m hoping i’m able to continue writing through them, but i will warn readers i am enrolled in two of the three week classes that have a lot of work and move quickly. so patience will be appreciated. i hope everyone is safe & healthy and has a wonderful end of school/university/spring! and congratulations to all the grads these next two months. i’m planning on ending this series with a total of five parts (march, april, may, june, july) w/ two endings.

tags (im tagging a couple ppl who messaged me awhile ago (after the last part), if u dont wanna be tagged anymore let me know! sorry!@alwaysclassyeagle @yourgoldengirls

if u wanna be tagged just message me & let me know if u want it for just this series or for all my h writing! ❤️

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Could you do some hcs for dating the teen titans?

Yes I can!! I just got HBO Max so I’ve been binging both the animated and the live action series haha 😂 Thank you so much for being my first request!

Also I’m guessing you’re referring to the original teen titans, so if you want the new teen titans just shoot me another request!

Dating the Teen Titans Would Include...

No Specified AU

TW: Language

Genre: Fluff

[DC Masterlist]

Word Count: 2.0K (About 0.2K per Titan)

Dick Grayson

You must have an insane amount of patience, truly, to be able to date Dick Grayson

If the joke book he probably carries around isn’t enough, I would’ve been certain that the ego would drive you away but nope you’re still here

And that’s how you both knew that it was true fucking love you’re both inseparable and the Titans know it.

To put things simply... he loves you and the Titans fear you.

While you’re both somewhat easygoing and hospitable, one would do well not to piss off one or the other because you both come as a package deal and you can kick ass when necessary you just choose not to embarrass Dick like that because you could totally outmatch him.

Don’t ask him that though he’d insist that he’d win.

Best not bring up the first time you met or else the Titans would never let him live it down

But in all seriousness, I see the relationship as rather lighthearted and enjoyable, maybe a bit spontaneous too. Want to go to the beach? Done. Want to kick some ass in Gotham? For sure. It’s like a match made in heaven.

Not to mention that the Titans rather look up to you, which is a definite plus. Not just anyone can date the Dick Grayson.

Wally West

As opposed to popular opinion... I’d think that this is a rather slow relationship. 

Speedsters are more than just familiar with how life just flashes by so I think Wally would like to enjoy the relationship at a slower pace, he wants it to last as long as possible.

With that said, you’re both menaces. His speed combined with your cleverness? No one is safe and the Titans know it.

The best moment of your relationship, although this is debatable, was when you and Wally successfully turned the Titan tower into an all-out prank minefield. Trash cans were covered with plastic, buckets of water places on doorways, even wardrobes were switched.

And all done in ten seconds, impressive. Nothing quite like starting a war in the Tower then grabbing burgers after, right?

Kind of cheesy but I can see you both having frequent movie nights that differ in genre according to month. You both probably rotate on who chooses the movie too.

Overall I think you both have a lot of fun together, if I were to compare the “vibes” to something, I would say a summer relationship (that obviously lasts longer than just a summer) where everything is just living life as it goes

Nah because like I said before you guys don’t want to rush things, and you’re always there to remind Wally to just slow down every now and then.

I should probably mention that this is a competitive relationship too, before I go, not everything’s a competition but everything’s a competition, you know? It’s a shame that the Titans often get caught in the cross fire though-

Donna Troy

Oh this one’s fun. Donna’s new to this whole “rest of the world” stuff but luckily she has a wonderful partner who’s willing to teach her everything.

A lot of the relationship consists of you explaining things, but it’s kind of endearing despite Donna’s headstrong attitude towards anything

But Donna is also the kind to be open to learning new things, and you’re open to trying new things. It works like clockwork, you’re both young and willing.

Now these “things” can range from baking cookies to extreme mountain climbing so be prepared for anything in this relationship.

Overall I think the Titans see you both as a really cute relationship, one that anyone could be slightly envious of and one that they’re glad that exists

But despite this loving relationship I think you’d both be absolute machines in a battle, I think one thing that is important to Donna is ultimately respect for each other’s abilities, having grown up on Themyscira and all, and maybe that one battle where you absolutely demolished the enemy was when she really caught interest.

Or not. It could’ve also been when you mistakenly ran into one of the glass walls in the tower and she developed a crush over you while you mumbled a series of curses.

This relationship is strongly built on loyalty, so I think you both would be describes as a pair of ride-or-dies who typically tend to lean towards the latter, especially when trying the more extreme things that Donna asked you about.

But overall I think it’s a really sweet relationship with few bumps, they’re still there but I mean that you’re both good at working through them.

Victor Stone

I feel like this relationship is very classical high school romance, you know?

Like walking to class together, holding each other’s books, stuff like that.

But on the other hand I feel like you’re both a very fun couple to be around, like you know how when you’re with some couples it feels like you’re third wheeling? Not these two. You feel like you’re part of the crew

You guys probably switch between fun couple and parent couple every now and then, I can see the Titans relying on both of you a lot for different things.

You and Victor are definitely the type to play games to determine who buys food, like things as simple as rock-paper-scissors to things as complicated as 8-Ball, and so far you’ve been winning at a ratio of 3:1.

Definitely a very trusting relationship, I feel like you both reach that comfortable stage faster than most, but it feels right, you know? I think you’d both understand that relationships go both ways.

There are probably times where you’re both in a teasing mode too, I think, but they’re mostly light hearted pranks, definitely not anything in the realm of what Wally would do

I kinda want to say that you’re a very active couple in that you both like to go to the gym together and idk take hikes together but at the same time I also want to say that you’re both inclined to stay home and play video games so I guess it’s like a 50/50

I can also see Victor being the type to do small acts of generosity as opposed to like buying gifts to show his appreciation for you, like I feel like he’s more inclined to help you with small tasks when he knows you need it, you know? Overall very cute, hehe

Raven (Rachel Roth)

Now this one’s interesting, you and Raven are certainly an interesting duo, but the most interesting thing would likely be how you met. Let’s say it involved a blood sacrifice, a bat, and a very old bicycle.

No you weren’t trying to summon her someone else was you just ended up being at the wrong place at the wrong time anyway moving on

You’re both the perfect example of opposites attract for more reasons than just one. 

But what makes it better is that you’re always open and willing to learn and understand many of the things that Raven does and she appreciates it a lot

It goes both ways also! She’s always willing to do whatever you ask her to and you both end up having at least some fun even if it happens to be something she isn’t used to.

Random, but I think a favorite pass time for both of you is simply sitting in her room and reading books, weird, I know, but like there’s something inherently romantic about either of you excitedly showing the other a certain passage you both enjoyed or telling them about your book, it’s just so sweet.

She definitely has a personal bias towards you, obviously, Garfield can say a joke and she’d stare at him with a straight face but you could say the exact same joke probably right after him and she would crack a smile and she probably does that on purpose but it still feels nice

You also may or may not have caught on to her incantations and now you may or may not be able to perform these spells but you haven’t tried because you wouldn’t know how to but it’s just telling of how much time you spent together.

I only mention this because there was an event in which you corrected her incantation and suddenly hell fire appeared which she had to figure out how to get rid of and since then you both mutually agreed to both (a) not tell the Titans and (b) not say incantations out loud

Koriand’r (Starfire)

STOP YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE anyway you’re definitely both kinds to see beauty in everything

Maybe this relationship is rather dangerous considering you’re both curious people and Kori happens to be able to shoot lasers out of her eyes so maybe you should both be just a little more careful

You’re both probably very doting on both each other and the rest of the Titans and although you’re both well intentioned it has become a case of “oh no there’s two of them” but in like a teasing way

I feel like Kori is very open to sharing a lot of aspects about her culture with you, and you have always found Tamaran culture to be beautiful so it fits

Likewise you share a lot of things about your culture too and you both bond over finding ways to combine them together to make a nice fusion of understandings and it’s all a sweet combination

See a big thing about this relationship if that you both put your everything into it, it is an equal push and equal pull kind of thing where you both love each other with everything that you have and it creates this unbreakable bond that even non-supers have come to acknowledge

Though this also results in the both of you frequently being in your own world even when others are around and that’s something you both promised to fix but yeah...

It’s coming around, don’t worry. You’re both making active efforts but sometimes it just slips your mind and whoops

Now this should go without saying but this trust often leads to powerful combinations when in missions, you’re both fiercely loyal to each other and this often plays in overall favor so all is well

Garfield Logan

This is a fun relationship, definitely, and one that’s also very fulfilling.

You’re both definitely an outdoorsy couple, things like hikes, nature walks (which I guess is also a hike but I’ve been told otherwise), trips to the zoo, etc. but this all just builds the relationship

Also a very sweet one! You both have an unlimited amount of energy and love that you’re often expending said energy volunteering somewhere and helping others out

But when it boils down you’re both also very touchy, I think, you both like being together at all times and cuddles are a frequent occurrence but at the will of the other Titans you both do this in privacy

I also feel like this sweetness can also “flip,” so to say. As in if someone messes with either of you in the relationship the other will come running regardless of whether or not they could do anything about it.

To put it short, you both have each other’s back all the time. Literally, like I said you’re both inseparable. 

Despite these I think the relationship would actually be rather lowkey, I don’t think he would be the type to constantly showcase the relationship. I think he’d mention it like once to get it out there but after that he wouldn’t flaunt you around.

I just think that Garfield, even with his usual out and about behavior, is rather modest when it comes to this topic because you’re more to him than just someone to show off, you’re someone who’s important to him and overall he just wants you to be comfortable

If there’s one flaw in this relationship it’s that when you have arguments it’s just horrible, but also rather comedic. Neither of you talk to the other but you both end up still being in the same room together subconsciously. It’s kind of awkward but the coincidences are what makes the other Titans laugh and honestly you both make up within, like, a day or something.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Hello! I love your writing! I'm gonna send five prompts, I hope at least one of them inspires you and you have fun with them. Prompt #1: Wang Lingjiao (Wen Chao's mistress) interacting with Meng Yao in Nightless City, can be a ship but not necessarily (I... guess you could count shipping it as infidelity towards Wen Chao??? so def don't write ship if it makes you uncomfortable). Preferably WLJ pov, with her making numerous not always accurate assumptions about Meng Yao's role at Wen Ruohan's court, maybe sort of assuming he is to WRH what she is to WC and therefore approaching him with something like ~camaraderie (whether MY plays along or laughs her off I will leave to you)

ao3

Friends were a luxury that Wang Lingjiao had never been well-off enough to have, not when her tenuous position might be lost at any minute by a pair of seductive eyes or a new (not better) pair of tits, but it wasn’t like she was totally without any fellow feeling.

“Well done,” she said to the boy with Nie braids in his hair like he thought it’d make him something he wasn’t.

He blinked, surprised, and fixed her with the same pleasant, competent, I’m-here-for-your-pleasure smile that she’d seen him use on everyone else. “Lady Wang, whatever do you mean?”

Wang Lingjiao rolled her eyes. Sure, he wasn’t doing anything more stunning than getting himself some off-hours food from the kitchens, same as her, but there was no way he didn’t know what she meant. 

He knew. Oh, he knew.

“For selling something else,” she clarified, and saw the darkness creep into that bright and clear gaze he was always pretending with, hiding behind; he couldn’t deny that he knew exactly what she was saying now. Personally, she’d rather be on her back in Wen Chao’s bed than helping out in the Fire Palace, but it was the principle of the thing. “And drop the ‘lady’ shit while we’re in the Nightless City. There’s no point in pissing off Lady Ma.”

His face didn’t give away any obvious tells, like eyebrows shooting up or eyes going wide, but she could feel that he was surprised. “You – care about that?”

Ma Liyuan was Wen Chao’s wife, officially, and Wang Lingjiao’s official job was as her maid, except of course she didn’t do any maid stuff because she was too busy fucking Wen Chao. Still, she would have thought that this Meng Yao character would know better.

“Born in a brothel, were you?” she guessed, and his face closed up. “Don’t be so squeamish. She told me to do it, of course. If she can’t keep him, better that she control him through me than let someone from the outside sink their claws into him. Doesn’t mean she wants it rubbed in her face or anything, though.”

It wasn’t an uncommon story, and he nodded slowly as she went to pick out some food – she could get better fare when she ate with Wen Chao, of course, but he liked the illusion of her being dainty and pristine, as if you could get tits like hers without having a decent meal on the regular, and so she supplemented in private.

“Someone told me you were from Yingchuan,” he said from behind her. “Yingchuan Wang sect.”

“I am,” she said, tearing at the flesh of an apple with her teeth. “What, the intonation didn’t give me away?”

“It’s not that,” he said. “I thought – Yingchuan Wang is a cultivation sect.”

Gentry, he meant. 

“Sure is,” Wang Lingjiao said, and her lips twisted in derision. “What, did you think it was all fun and games after you get brought across the threshold? Did your mother fill your head with dreams of your legitimate father sweeping in and buying your freedom and hers, setting her up in a nice little courtyard and you in disciple robes, then seeing your merit and giving you the respect you deserve?”

He was quiet. Brothel girls, she thought to herself. Always the same old tune.

“My mother was a whore, too, only she did get brought in as a concubine,” she said. “Nice and official, past the threshold and everything. The official wives hated her, of course: shorted her on firewood in the winter and water in the summer, always gave her the worst pieces of cloth to make clothing and no allowance to buy anything else, gave us incense that’d give you itches and food that gave you the runs.”

“That happens everywhere,” he said.

“She got that nice little courtyard,” Wang Lingjiao said. “It even had a nice little gateway to the outside world – not for her to go out, mind you, that wouldn’t be proper for an official concubine. But it worked perfectly well for men to come in, with all the earnings flowing to the family coffers.”

She laughed at the expression on his face.

“It’s one pimp or another,” she told him. “Men always want something from you, always, don’t you know that? And when they think you’re already dirty, they don’t think too hard about what they’re asking. I was born inside the door to a proper legitimate father, never spent a day of my life in a brothel, and they still sold me out just the same as any madam – no, worse. The stuff these righteous bastards ask for is always ten times worse.”

“Worse?” he echoed.

“Isn’t it?” she asked him. “Even a whore that’s lost her charm still doesn’t have to do much more than lie on her back and spread her legs, but look at you – look at me. Running around catering to their every need, doing every nasty deed that they don’t want to do because that’s all we’re good for in their eyes.”

He grimaced.

“I’m in charge of getting new women for A-Chao’s bed, when he’s in the mood for variety,” Wang Lingjiao said. “And for getting rid of any accidents that might happen later, my own or others’. The Wen clan doesn’t believe in them, if you understand me; if he wants kids, he’ll get them through Lady Ma or nobody. And if a woman turns him down, it’s my job to punish her, or else he’ll start saying I don’t care enough, that I’m looking elsewhere…”

She laughed and took a bite of some pork.

“I’d do it anyway, of course,” she said, chewing. “All those little bitches that think they’re better than me, it’s a pleasure to knock them down to size. And surprise, surprise, once they don’t have their looks, suddenly they’re more than happy to come around begging at A-Chao’s door to see what they can get, since now the righteous ones don’t want them anymore…Peel off all that shiny exterior and it’s all the same underneath.”

Meng Yao didn’t like what she was saying, she could tell. Not that she cared.

“Find yourself a fool,” she advised him. “A-Chao’s not bad to me, all things considered. I’ve been by his side for a few years now and his tastes are pretty run-of-the-mill, not like his brother or his father; a bit of ego stroking - ooh, you’re so strong, so capable, I’ve never seen anyone as big as you, that sort of thing - and he likes coming on my tits. Sect Leader Wen, though? He’s too clever. You won’t be able to keep his interest for long, not even with those ingenious little torture machines you keep inventing for him, and then he’ll have you doing the real scut work.”

“I appreciate your consideration,” he said stiffly. Didn’t like his work being compared to someone like her, did he?

Men.

“I hear things about the brothels in Lanling,” she offered, just to needle him. “Not just perfume and flowers and a bit of witty conversation, not for men with all the money in the world; they like getting a little extra. If you’d gotten taken in the way you wanted, I’d bet that’s the job you’d get: you’d be seeing those women every day, bringing the women in smiling and taking them out crying – or worse. Some jobs you aren’t meant to come back from, after all; my best friend growing up ended up that way. You couldn’t even recognize the body as human below the neck.”

He was too well-trained to glare, but Wang Lingjiao could tell he wanted to. Someone like him, who signed up to do torture work, probably wouldn’t mind the bodies, she reflected, and shook her head.

“What’s Qinghe like, anyway?” she asked, nodding at his braids, actually curious. “Secretive sorts, and the one or two times my people acted as hosts to their inner sect disciples, they always turned down any offers for late night company.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he said.

“Stop having a stick up your ass. I’m not saying you provided services yourself, and even if you did I’m hardly one to judge. I just want to know. You were close with that big man of theirs, their sect leader, weren’t you? Sect Leader Wen sure talks about it enough.”

Talked about it the way Wen Chao talked about Wang Lingjiao getting close to a woman he was pursuing, sometimes. There was really no accounting for taste – Sect Leader Wen could have any woman he wanted and often did, her and Lady Ma included, and even sometimes at the same time; yet what he really wanted, apparently, was to hear Meng Yao talk about Sect Leader Nie’s personal habits.

Probably he wanted the joy in breaking him or something. Wang Lingjiao didn’t make it her business to try to guess, though she supposed Meng Yao did.

“No way someone as sharp as you didn’t pick up some clues about what he likes,” she continued. “Come on, what is it? He like beating his whores or something?”

“He didn’t frequent whores,” Meng Yao said. “And he didn’t take lovers.”

He smiled, faintly, probably at her expression of disbelief.

“He liked slaughtering Wen-dogs,” he added. “Rather a lot. See that you don’t end up on the wrong side of his saber. He didn’t make allowances for women.”

Wang Lingjiao tossed her hair – there was no need to bring in blood and war into their perfectly nice conversation! – and huffed. “Oh, I get you. The marrying type, then?” she sneered. “The ones that’ll give you their heart and forgive you for everything, then end up wearing green hats for cuckolds when it turns out the one they like isn’t near as virtuous as them? What a fool!”

“I thought you said I should find myself a fool,” Meng Yao said mildly.

“You still have to be able to keep him,” she mocked. “If you could get someone like Sect Leader Nie on the hook, why would you be busting your ass here?”

That shut him up.

“Well, your loss is Sect Leader Wen’s gain, I guess,” she said, and put aside her plate without washing it. The kitchen staff could clean up for her. “Ugh, I can’t wait for this war to be over already. I miss the discussion conferences! Even though I had to stay back with the servants, at least you got to see some new people…that last one, with the archery, that was a fun one.”

She grinned. “All the sect leaders came here to sit at Sect Leader Wen’s feet, your father included. He asked all three of his housekeeping maids to serve him in bed, you know. All at once. Brave man, at his age…come to think of it, you might want to check the nursery. See if you have some siblings there. Who knows? Maybe they’ll grow up to be competition.”

Meng Yao said nothing.

Wang Lingjiao laughed again.

“Have fun in the Fire Palace, Meng Yao,” she said, sashaying away. “Try not to end up on the wrong side of it.”

See? It was almost like being friends.

[dat-town]

colour the world with you

Characters: Yeonjun & You

Genre: fluff

Setting: witch shop au

Summary: The crazy hair coloured guy working at the witch shop where your grandma has you run errands for her keeps getting on your nerves.

Words: 3.7k

Author’s note: title is from TXT’s Your Light

For @restlessmaknae​ to fill your holidays with colours, smiles and happiness.

You told yourself you weren't a believer. People talked about magic as if they had seen it happen but you were doubtful, even when your weak grandma asked you to get a potion for her. When doctors couldn't help, she always turned to alternative methods even though you thought just taking her pills could have helped her. But no, she insisted, put the money into your hands and told you to ask for Han halmeoni's usual. You gritted your teeth but despite not saying it, you were upset how people out there could take advantage of naive elders with their expensive fake herb drinks. Though, you knew better than anyone that arguing with your grandma wouldn't have led anywhere since she was just as stubborn as you. So you agreed with a smile and promised you would get the potion the next day.

Finding the shop called Magic Island – what an obnoxious name for real – was easier than you thought. Witchcraft wasn't hunted or looked down upon as it used to be but you really didn't expect to find it between a coffee shop and a bookstore. From outside it seemed like any other store with its glass windows though it was more colourful and lively than most due to the flowers by the door and the dreamcatcher on the door. You double checked the name and the address then tentatively pressed down on the handle.

As soon as you crossed the threshold, the smell of herbs and spices, burning candle scents and warmth hit you in waves. The whole place gave off a very soothing and welcoming vibe and while the interior was even more colourful than the outside, nothing stood out as much as the vivid blue hair of the guy behind the counter.

"Hello, how can I help you?" he inquired, voice mellow and smile kind. The thin, light blue sweater he wore showed a bit of one of his collarbones and the dangling earring he had in one ear had small blue stones in it. You felt like you had never seen anybody like him.

"I came to pick up something for my grandma, Han halmeoni's usual potion," you recited the rehearsed speech before you could have blurted out something rude. At the mention of your granny, the cashier boy's eyes lit up and he smiled wider.

"Ah, just a minute," he excused himself and leaned down, opening small cabinets full of folies and cans under the counter until he found the glass of the thick green liquid. "Is halmeoni alright though? Has her knee been acting up again?" he asked while he rang up the product and you shouldn't have been surprised that your grandma probably told him about all her life.

"It's her waist this time," you said curtly, wanting to get over the payment as soon as possible. But even after the machine beeped accepting your credit card, the boy with his crazy hair switched on his employee of the mouth smile and kept you there with his rambling:

"It seems like you're quite stressed and anxious recently. Wouldn't you like some chamomile-lavender tea? Or we have a peppermint-citrus cream for headaches, too or–"

"I'm fine," you cut him off not too nicely. Argh... you hated when cashiers were so noisy and he even acted like he knew you just because you weren't in a good mood today but that had nothing to do with your usual exam stress. He couldn't have known about that anyway. And as if some cream would have helped!

The next time you saw the boy he had yellow locks. The unnatural, bright yellow like the fermented radish you liked so much with your traditional Korean dishes. Of course, you didn't go to his shop out of boredom or happiness but for your grandmother's sake you didn't want her to travel across half the city just to get her favourite tea leaves for better digestion. It had been about two months since you had visited the colourful shop, so the changes shouldn't have taken you so aback – after all every shop was usually decorated according to the season – and yet, for a moment you just stood there in the bright warmth of the sunlit room full of buttercups and sunflowers. It almost seemed like the same cashier guy as last time had a hair colour to fit the enterieur but that sounded a bit too ridiculous. Who would have dyed their hair because of their workplace's new decoration? Though who worked at a witch shop in the first place?

"Hi! How can I help you today?" the boy, Yeonjun according to his name tag, flashed a beaming smile at you. He seemed really giddy all the time, maybe being surrounded by all these herbs all day long did something to his brain… or maybe got him high.

"I would like to have a packet of Island of Calm tea," you told him straight, wanting to make it a real quick in and out.

"Ah, for your grandma? I'm glad it helps her," the boy smiled at you sweetly and started humming an annoyingly cheerful song while preparing the packet neatly. He wrapped it up, put on a sticker with good wishes before he would have turned to the cashier machine.

You had already prepared with your wallet but instead of letting you know the price, this Yeonjun guy decided to play with your nerves.

"Sorry about the other day if I came off too strong. We have amulets too if you prefer…"

You slammed down the money on the counter, grabbed the tea and turned to walk out on him before he could have finished that. But...

"It will rain today. Take an umbrella," he shouted after you which only made you snicker.

Hah, who was this guy? He should have minded his own business! The weather forecast didn't say anything about rain anyways.

"I'm fine," you bit at him and walked out.

It didn't even take 10 minutes though for you to get soaking wet in a sudden summer downpour. Under your breath you kept cursing the guy from the magic shop although he had nothing to do with the rain. He just had a good guess.

You really didn't want to go back to the shop. It gave you the chills, like that uneasiness in the stomach that made you want to throw up. You didn't want to go back because you didn't want to hear that crazy hair coloured guy's unwanted preaching about your stress level. You might have been a bit on the edge these days but you were okay, you could handle it. Even if you wished your group partners to Hell sometimes because they couldn't even answer your questions about the schedule and the presentation in your KKT group chat, even if your teacher was a pain in the ass moving the classes as he pleased as if you had nothing better to do. Even if an upcoming family gathering was unnerving you because you didn't want to hear them comparing you to your relatives. It was just a bad time, it would pass, you told yourself, nothing to whine about.

So you took a deep breath, list in hand and you raised your chin before you stepped inside the so-called magic shop. You planned ahead: going to the counter, handing over the list, pretending to get a phone call and leave. Easy and interaction-free. But the moment you stepped inside, the sight this time took your breath away.  You really didn't understand how and why the store changed its interior so drastically and so frequently but this look was even more breathtaking than the ones before.

The whole place had a pink hue, it even smelled like cotton candy and everything had this rosy colour from afar. The ceiling looked like a pink sky with white cloud decorations made of cotton. The dreamcatchers and amulets hanging down all sparkled in the shade of blue hour and you forgot why you came for a moment.

"Pretty, isn't it?" A voice spoke up from beside you and only then you realised that the cashier boy wasn't behind the counter like usual but instead he was walking between the shelves in the book section, holding a few volumes in his arms. You jumped at his sudden closeness, blinking up at him surprised and it took you a moment too long to process what you had been seeing.

The guy had bright pink hair.

And it looked strangely good on him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned and only then you realised that you had been staring. At the way his locks looked against his tanned forehead. At the way he pulled his mouth into a gentle smile and suddenly you felt like the air was getting sucked out of your lungs. What the hell were you doing? Why did he suddenly have such an effect on you?

"Yeah, I'm fine," you muttered, clearing your throat, stepping away.

You walked up to the counter confidently and the boy didn't try to stop you. He didn't say anything, not even as he followed you and took your paper with the list your grandma suddenly needed after you complained to her about the nosy guy in the shop. He prepared the small box with different herbs, creams and lucky charms wordlessly which was a bit unsettling. You only met him twice before yet it seemed like it was out of character for him. But you tried not to think too much into it and just watched him work.

When Yeonjun read your total out loud for you and you handed your card to him there was something knowing in his eyes that you couldn't quite put a finger on.

"You know you should really stop saying you're fine when you aren't," he spoke up finally when he gave you back the plastic but instead of letting it go, he looked down on your hand intently. Not understanding the reason behind it you followed his gaze and saw that you managed to cut your finger earlier with the paper when you got startled. You didn't even feel it up until then even though it drew a bit of blood, a few drops drying on your index finger.

"Let me," the boy muttered as he let go and looked around on a shelf not far from the counter.

"It's nothing really," you protested but you felt bad because he shouldn't have been worried about you just because it was him who got you scared. You should have paid more attention.

"It could get infected," he reasoned as he got back with some lotion in a small capsule. He took your hand, gentle and you realised that his hands were soft despite the calluses on his fingertips. Not to mention, it was endearing how attentive he was, even sticking out his tongue a bit in concentration as he put a plaster over the oil-coated wound.

"Thanks," you breathed not really knowing what else you could say and you couldn't even anymore, not with the way he smiled at you, warm like the Sun and soothing like spring breezes.

As you were leaving you couldn't help but think that the way he said those words about you pretending to be okay was about more than just your scar. Maybe he had a great sense for such things.

It was not until you got home that you noticed the extra object in the packet you bought at the shop. You even double-checked with your grandma's list but a scent bag of herbs for better sleeping weren't on that and you didn't even pay for that, so how?

The answer was ridiculously easy: the cashier guy must have sneaked it into your bag, yet you didn't get his reason and why he always tried to have a say in your life but then you looked down on the cute pink plaster on your finger and decided to accept the gift. Even though you didn't believe in it, you put it under your pillow for the night like you were instructed. You almost forgot about it because by the time it was bedtime for you your head was full of unnecessary drama and thoughts that were driving you crazy. On nights like this it was hard to fall asleep because you had too many what ifs going on inside of your head. But this time, even before you could have realised it, you were already drifting off to sleep, tense shoulders relaxing, head empty. You didn't remember when you last slept so well.

So maybe it was confusion, gratitude or the mix of those two that led you back to the Magic Island only a few days later, this time without your grandma having to make you. This time you were expecting the change of interior, so the universe-like violet colours and planets flying around (must be some kind of trick) didn't take you that aback. Yeonjun was nowhere to be seen even though the bells rang prettily above the door when you arrived.

For once, you decided to take a look around, so tentatively you wandered deeper into the store, into parts you hadn't been before. You had seen tarot cards in one corner and Ouija boards in another, there were books about ghosts and other dimensions. There was a whole section about curses and a closed off one for potions. You were reading some of the ridiculously long tea names (and why does The night when the world has burned, we are… has chilli in it anyways?) when you heard someone clear their throat. You turned around to face them but your hello died on the tip of your tongue.

Now Yeonjun's hair was purple, that dark but warm kind, like nights on which the sky seemed to embrace you.

"Does halmeoni need something else?" he looked up at you with a genuine, kind smile.

"No, I... Actually I just wanted to thank you for the scent bag," you muttered under your nose, a bit embarrassed but determined to be a bigger person and not act petty over an act of kindness.

"Did it help?" Yeonjun's eyes lit up immediately, straight up happily when you nodded. The smile on his face widened. "Then you're welcome."

You just stood there, uncertain, not knowing what to say or do because apparently he was well aware that he gifted you that and it seemed like he didn't expect anything in return. Not to mention that he figured out that you barely had any sleep lately and cinnamon was one of your favourite scents. Was it just a coincidence? Or did the bags under your eyes betray you like that? Was cinnamon just a lucky guess?

"How did you know?" you blurted out eventually, not getting over your internal struggle. For a moment Yeonjun just looked at you, really looked as if he tried to figure you out and he was rather tentative when he spoke up:

"You don't believe in magic, do you?"

You raised an eyebrow as if asking: seriously? at which he let out a chuckle. His laughter made such a pleasant sound!

"Well, then you could say it was just a good hunch," he shrugged and his carefree attitude made you even more curious, throwing you more recklessly into the unknown.

"And if I said I believe in it?" you wondered out loud and the cashier guy looked back at you as if it was a challenge. Maybe it was since you were interested in how he would try to convince you about magic being real.

"It's your aura," he said simply, looking at you and at the same time around you and started explaining:  "It has a different energy based on your mood and well-being. It wasn't that hard to figure out based on that."

You hummed, trying to see whether your rational mind could take it as an answer but even auras and halos and such seemed too... intangible for you. Yeonjun must have sensed your hesitance because a moment later he straightened his back and tilted his head.

"It's easier to show you," he offered, waiting, patient. He must have learned that being pushy with you didn't work because the more he insisted, the more you resisted. But putting it this way: him offering a chance for you to see and believe but with no pressure, it made you halt. Because all your life you had liked certain things. You liked plans, schedules, believing in things you saw or experienced. Maybe that's why magic had always been obnoxious for you: you had met with too many liars and fakes.

You slowly, tentatively nodded.

"Close your eyes," Yeonjun smiled at you encouragingly and albeit not liking the idea of becoming vulnerable even this much, you obeyed.  About five seconds passed before the boy called your name. "You can open them."

Not expecting any big change, you were at a loss of words when Yeonjun stood in front of you with silver grey hair. And not just that! The shop's interior changed in a blink of a minute, too. It was no longer purple but rather monochrome, serious, angular.

"How?" you gasped in awe.

"Magic," Yeonjun smiled and laughed at you before explaining that his mother was a witch, so he's partly one too and that the shop is enchanted, changing based on his mood or will, similarly as his hair colour. It was still unbelievable but you couldn't deny the obvious, so instead of protesting against it anymore, you threw your dozen questions at the boy to which he answered very enthusiastically.

After that afternoon, you slowly started to become a regular at Magic Island. Not only when your grandma had an errand to run but you visited the shop even when you got tired of your scent bag's type or due to another excuse. It was easy to come up with those when you had so many questions. With Yeonjun by your side guiding you through a whole new world opened up in front of you. After your uni classes, you sometimes dropped by to read a book between the shelves about auras and the harmony with nature or potions that actually worked until Yeonjun found you there. Sometimes he called you out on never buying the books but it was only a friendly, teasing banter that ended up with him inviting you over for some herb tea matching your mood (a lot of sweet strawberry and rose mint lately). On other occasions, he joined you on the floor, leaning his back onto the bookshelf too, his arm almost brushing yours as he asked about what you were currently reading about.

He also told you a lot of fun stories and while chuckling over his jokes your stomach didn't ache only due to laughter. You hated to call this feeling as 'butterflies in your stomach' but you had no better word for it and being so good at reading your aura, Yeonjun must have known, too. Yet, he didn't say anything, so you decided to take matters into your hands.

When you opened the door of the magic store on that chilly December afternoon after finally finishing with your exams before winter break, the first thing that hit you was the cinnamon and plum scent. You inhaled deeply and smiled at the Christmassy atmosphere inside the store with the festive decoration. Yeonjun must have had the holiday spirit these days, you thought and it seemed like right because the boy walked out of the storage room in a cute snowman sweater and with faded lavender coloured hair.

"Heya, how was the exam?" he turned to you with a bright smile which you couldn't help but mimic as you walked up to the other side of the counter.

"Manageable," you shrugged, happy that you were finally done with it. Then before you could have chickened out during your conversation, you blurted out: "Do you perhaps have the opposite of love potions?"

"Like an antiserum? Did someone give you a love potion?" Yeonjun wiggled his eyebrows but his tone was kind of worried. Cute, you noted.

"No but I'd like this stupid crush gone," you sighed and even grimaced for impact, watching the boy's reaction closely but he seemed more curious and a bit confused than anything.

"Why?"

"I just..." You vaguely threw your hands up and pouted which Yeonjun must have found endearing because the mischievousness was back in his glittering dark eyes and the smirk was on his lips again as he leaned provocatively closer.

"And if I like you back?" he raised an eyebrow and the confidence in his voice made your jaw drop.

The audacity!

"I'm not talking about you!" you retorted right away but more out of pride and teasing than honesty. You couldn't hide that too well from the witch boy either as his grin only widened seeing your blushed cheeks.

"Too bad," he snickered playfully, his lower lip jutting out in a sulky pout. Then he pulled back in an instant, brushing his lavender hair out of his eyes with an overdramatic sigh. "And I was about to suggest a hot chocolate date..."

"A date you say?" you breathed with a hopeful smile and rested your palms on the counter while this time it was you who leaned closer. Not that it meant a lot because with Yeonjun's height, you just had to angle your neck even more sharply. At least until he decided to scrunch down to your level, dark orbs glimmering in the colourful lights of the shop.

"That I say," he nodded and briefly looked up prompting you to do the same only to see a white mistletoe slowly growing and hanging down above you.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself, mister," you flicked his forehead but giggled anyway knowing all too well that your aura must have been just as pink as your cheeks. But you didn't mind one bit, not until it was Yeonjun who made your world so colourful.

[thiswasinevitableid]

76. it’s my birthday and you just fucking ruined my party and I don’t even know you

Danbrey, sfw or nsfw, please!

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

“Wow, dude, this is so fancy.” Jake takes in the dining room of Yosemite Lodge, “look, napkins!”

“Jake, we have cloth napkins back home.” Dani smiles fondly; while she’s more interested in the location and the decor, she agrees with her brothers overall enthusiasm.

The rest of Amnesty Lodge, where Dani lives and works, pooled their resources to surprise her with a weekend trip to Yosemite for her twenty-fifth birthday. She would have been happy camping, but they even went to the trouble of booking rooms in the main lodge and scheduling her a birthday dinner in the restaurant that looks out onto the valley.

Mama whistles at the menu from her seat at the head of the table, “damn, this is a good lookin dinner.”

Dani picks up the single sheet of paper, the silver writing informing her the meal with consist of a summer salad, shrimp scampie, and a strawberry rhubarb tart for dessert. When she glances across the table, Barclay is smiling down into his water glass.

“Oh my god, did you request a specific menu just for me?”

Her friend nods, blushing a little, “Head chef is an old friend from my line cook days.”

“Aw, you guys.” She sips the fancy cider Barclay ordered for the table, “you didn’t have to do all this.”

“You ain’t had a real party in years; seemed time to fix that.” Mama’s about to say something else when the fire alarm blares through the room and a server asks that everyone please exit through the side doors into the courtyard.

“Probably just a false alarm.” Barclay leans against a decorative rock.

“Uh, dudes? I smell smoke.”

Dani cranes her neck, tracks the path of the curling smoke through the lights from the windows to the main meeting room on the bottom floor of the hotel. A woman about her age, dressed entirely in red and black with, “The Lady Flame” emblazoned on her sparkly jacket, is talking and gesturing rapidly with disgruntled staff.

Two minutes later, the same woman steps onto the lawn with a sheepish smile.

“Hi everyone! It’s safe to go back in now. I, um, there was a tiny accident with some flashpaper. I think. Anyway, point is, I’m super sorry and there’s no more fire so please come enjoy my show. Oh, but, um, we have to move to the dining room due to some, um, ash.”

Just as she says this, one of the servers whispers in Barclays ear.

“Fuck. Sorry gang, sounds like we gotta postpone until tomorrow; whatever party booked ms fireball over there is gonna take up the whole restaurant.”

Dani sighs, resigning herself to a night of vending machine dinner as they head back inside. Then a hand settles on her arm and she’s locking eyes with the person who just ruined her evening.

“Hey, I always ask the cutest girl in the audience to be my assistant for the next bit. Do you want to-”

She pulls her arm away, “Yeah, hard pass, I’m not in whatever group decided to book you. I’m the person who’s birthday is getting turfed for your party.”

The magician cringes, “EEsh, I’m so sorry, I’ll, um, I’ll just.” She steps back, eyes glued to her black boots. As Dani continues into the lodge, she swears she hears the same voice go, “aw beans.”

---------------------------------------------------------

The spring sunshine feels perfect, the breeze is gentle, and there are literal bluebirds calling around her. Dani feels like a dang disney princess as she naps on a rock near one of the meadows.

Something--a chipmunk, she assumes--munches the grass below her.

“Dr Harris Bonkers, no! This is a national park and I’m not letting my only son go to jail for vandalism.”

Dani rolls onto her side in time to see the magician from last night scooping a massive, orange rabbit from the ground. When she straightens enough to notice she’s not alone, the woman freezes.

“Um. Hi. Again.”

“Hi.” Not feeling like rehashing last night, she studies the rabbit, “should he really be running around out here?”

“Not even remotely. He was supposed to stay in my room, but he gnawed his way out of his carrier, hopped onto the windowsill, and decided to bounce when he saw all the plants out here.” She cautiously sits on the edge of the rock, rabbit in her lap, “I really am sorry about last night. I never used to have problems during my shows, but lately it’s like my flashpaper has a freaking mind of its own. I was kinda hoping it wouldn’t screw with anybody’s plans but mine.”

“It’s fine.” Dani shrugs, “we’re just going to do a dinner re-do tonight.”

The woman bites a matte black lip, “Could I, um, make it up to you?”

“How?”

“Well, it’s your birthday, right? You’re supposed to spend your birthday doing things you like, so I could, like, keep you company while you do them?”

It would be nice to have a hiking buddy. Mama is taking a well-deserved nap, Barclay is off for a swim, and Jake found some rock climbers to hang with. And while the Lady Flame looked good last night, today she’s downright gorgeous. The dyed-red streaks in her curly, black hair, the freckles, black shorts that make her butt look incredible, all of it adds up to someone Dani wouldn’t mind spending the day with.

“Do you have shoes you can hike in?”

She kicks up one leg, showing off her Doc Martens, “I once walked five miles in these with no problems.”

“Great. Let’s get the doctor” she rubs the rabbit’s ears, “somewhere safe and get on the trail.”

--------------------------------------------

The hike’s only three and a half miles, but it’s taking them a long time to complete it. Not because they’re slow, but because Aubrey (as the Lady Flame calls herself) keeps stopping to look at or point out any interesting thing that catches her eye. It’s adorable.

Dani likes when she points out plants, because then she can show off a little.

“Dang, you really know your plants.” Aubrey stoops to take a picture of some Scarlet Monkeyflower.

“I run the teaching garden out back of the Lodge. Uh, Amnesty Lodge, where I live, not this one.”

“Coooool. I keep thinking about making Dr. Harris Boners a little garden when I finally find a place to stay put for awhile, but everything is always about how to keep bunnies out of your garden.”

“I mean, they can really trash it if you’re not careful.”

“I believe it, Dr. Harris Bonkers can take out a whole patch of rug in, like, ten minutes.”

“Herbs would probably be okay, clover too. I guess it depends on how much space you have.”

“Probably not much” Aubrey holds out a hand to help her across a creek, “traveling magicians don’t make much.”

Their talk turns to Aubrey’s life on the road, and her various misadventures trying to transport a fifteen pound rabbit on public transit. When they reach the waterfall that marks the trails end, they slip off their shoes and socks to dip their feet in the nearby pond, shoulders touching as they compare notes on growing up in sometimes stressful family situations.

It’s well after lunchtime when they get back, so they sit in the meadow and split a bag of chips, shooing away several overly ambitious squirrels. Mama joins them for a bit, and Dani smiles when she notices how quickly the older woman takes to Aubrey. Mama can never turn down a stray.

Dani’s already scheming for how to spend the last day of her vacation with Aubrey when the magician turns down her invitation to dinner. She’s a little disappointed, but Aubrey promises she’ll see her later.

Her birthday dinner redux is halfway into its second course when the lights at the front of the room brighten and the ones above her dim.

“And now, as an added, surprise treat for this evening's meal, the magnificent Lady Flame is here to dazzle you all with her astounding feats of magic!” The server at the edge of the room gives a thumbs up and Aubrey bounds into view, smile glittering brighter than her outfit.

To Dani’s delight, Aubrey is an amazing magician; her tricks are interesting, her patter is the same funny, energetic pace that their conversations were this afternoon, and her assistant is adorable. When she declares she needs a volunteer for her next trick, she’s holding her hand out to Dani before anyone else can raise theirs.

The trick turns out to be picking cards and showing them to the audience, though Dani notices Aubrey devotes as much sleight of hand to brushing their fingers together as she does to her act.

“And now, esteemed audience, I will produce a flower from my lovely assistant's hair!”

Dani smiles, then claps along with everyone else as Aubrey produces a spring of Larkspur from thin air. Literally, Dani cannot for the life of her tell where she was hiding it. Or how she was able to get what Dani said was her favorite flower on such short notice.

Aubrey finishes up her act (and doesn’t set anything on fire) to thunderous applause, and Dani spots Mama leaning over to whisper something to Barclay, who nods thoughtfully. It’s only after the magician has taken her last bow that Dani has a horrible realization; Aubrey went to all that trouble to make her birthday dinner memorable, and she didn’t get to eat any of it.

Her white sandals sink into the carpet as she carries a plate down to Aubrey’s room. When her new friend opens the door, she’s between worlds; sparkly jacket on top, red pajama pants on the bottom.

“I brought you some cake. Or, uh, I guess it’s a tart.” She holds out the plate and Aubrey takes it, cheeks going pink, “since you didn’t get the rest of the dinner.”

“Thanks” Aubrey steps back so Dani can join her in the room, “it’s chill that I didn’t get to join you all; I wanted to make up for ruining your dinner last night.”

“You already did way more than that. Aubrey, this was the nicest day I’ve had in months, and most of that is because I got to spend it with you.”

“I dunno, feel weird getting cake from a thing I crashed.” Aubrey is fidgeting with her bracelets, blushing harder every time she looks up and finds Dani still smiling at her.

“Can I give you something else instead?” Dani takes a half-step forward.

“Sure! What-” Aubrey’s words fade into a little sigh as Dani wraps her arms over her shoulders. Then her back bumps into the nightstand as Aubrey throws herself into a kiss.

“Hey” Dani teases, nibbling her ear as Aubrey holds her tighter, “you messed up my big reveal.”

“Aw dang, guess I’ll have to make it up to you.” Aubrey slips her hands down to the small of her back, “how does even more making out sound?”

Dani pulls her towards the bed, heart buzzing with warmth at the sight of her smile and the touch of her hands, “like the best birthday gift ever.”

[fishmongeringstudies]

thirty eight: laffy taffy existentialism

i wanted to get a pack of m&ms from the vending machine on the first floor this evening but when i tried to swipe my student card they rejected it, at which point i was reminded that in the afternoon the new guy at the bougie supermarket had accidentally overcharged me and though they had promised to fix the problem, five hours later, no such thing had happened. so i didn't get any m&ms today even though i really wanted them. and thus concludes my last weekend in america, at least for this part of the story. on thursday i fly. by next sunday i will be stuck in a hotel room, hopefully with a view of the singapore river, tapping away at my nintendo switch while hanging upside-down off the side of the bed like a deerskin hung to dry from the branch of a tree.

this week one of my flatmates drove to get groceries as she has done so for the last two weeks but i asked her not to buy my share, which is a roundabout way to say i don't want to pay this week so leave me out of your complex mathematical equation. that being said i spirited away the dredges of the honey oat cheerios this morning. they were added to the pantry last week and are therefore fair game. i am entitled to some things in this apartment, even if i feel like the amount often comes up to none.

anyway, said flatmate went to the supermarket and returned with an abundance of fruit, but apparently two boxes of strawberries is too many to fit in a fridge which is, at best, one-third full, because she left the second box on the kitchen counter and three days ago i grabbed a handful because i have paid too much for too few groceries this summer (another talking point for the angst, but don't worry about it) but when i looked at the container this morning the strawberries were covered in mold. the mold had consumed the strawberries. the color had been sucked out of their cheeks. they were no longer a luscious shade of red; they were gray.

ah, i thought. so this is the college experience.

communal living is one of those things that you can't discuss without anecdotal evidence. the generic catch-all phrase 'life has its ups and its downs' conveys the idea with sufficient nuance and brevity, but it's only when the kitchen has smelled like trash for a week straight and you're on awkward hi-bye terms with two out of three of your flatmates so you're not sure how to bring up the horror story stuck under the sink that it occurs to you that this is not how you want to live when you grow up. and then you remember that you are grown up. that time has dragged its heels in the dust for so long, the bone has been cut right out of the flesh. those were nice heels, too. you're sorry, you think.

a tweet i came across recently in a post shared to my friend's private instagram story told the story of a man who insisted that he was not alone but simply by himself. semantics is a branch of philosophy wherein one observes the chicken in various environments and makes conjectures that don't really change the fundamental nature of human society. by which i mean i think i am all right with being alone. after all, my candle has been burning for a different stupid argument for a long time now. i don't intend on changing its course. at least if i lived alone i wouldn't leave the strawberries on the kitchen counter at the height of summer. i would put them in the fridge. with the other strawberries. actually, i wouldn't buy two pounds of strawberries. strawberries are expensive.

there's a lot to be done in the week leading up to a flight home, even more so in the middle of a pandemic which, despite this country's best efforts, has not ended. i've got a covid test scheduled on tuesday and i need to hound the housing committee until they give me summer storage or else everything that i own right now will be going into a garbage bin and that garbage bin will be going to hell. it's stressful, but nothing compared to what it took me to get here. tomorrow i think i'll bring a dollar bill downstairs to get my m&ms. they might not ever solve the problem of my overcharged student card at the grocery store so i'll have to find some other way to get my daily sugar fix before i pass out facedown on the floor again. the guy who messed up was new. i'd never seen him before. he probably hates the fact that this is a college town and college students swarm the place three times a week. i'd apologize to him if i went back but i don't know if i will. after all, i've only got three days left before i go, which is just enough time for a box of strawberries to go bad, but not quite enough to change the world.

06.27.21

[vvaane]

Evon

Hi, i’m Evon. Yea that’s the best way to start writing about a god damn serial killer, a proxy or whatever you guys call us. It’s late at night and you might be wondering why someone like me would write a book, dont i have people to kill? Cops to run from? Watch my back maybe? Nah man i used to do that before... that happened. Do you ever contemplate about your life? You know things like: what if i didn’t do that? what if i stayed silent? what if what i said once changed the whole story? Yea i know, a lot of what ifs. What can i say, i like to think. I may be a monster who kills like killing machine but i still have 'me' time.

I think i’m just rambeling now but yea another thing about me is that i like to talk, maybe too much sometimes. I wasn’t always like this though, as a child i was very quite and kinda depressed. Childhood isn’t my best memory to be honest, all i remember is wasting it on suffering and building up rage, until of course, i snaped.

Usually if someone asks me about that time of my life, i kill them without hesitation but in this case no one asked me so here we fucking go. Appriciate this because i’m not gonna talk about my shity life ever again. I was born on a beautiful day of summer, 4th of july 2000. I don’t have memories of my family, the only thing i know is that my mom commited suicide because of postbirth depression and dear old dad didn’t even bother to raise me or to even be in my life, good i killed him. Anyways, i spend my childhood at a church, raised in the name of this so called god, yea that place as holy as it sounds like, it wasn’t. Everyone feared the priest. What can i say, he was the best, always beating and torturing us many times even if we didn’t do anything wrong, my best and only friend was killed by this motherfucker. I myself got in trouble many times just because i 'wasn’t a man'. I don’t know how are you supposed to be a man at 13 years old but sure. You got 3 chances to 'go on gods way' if u didn’t make it you were send to a room that looked like an old basement of a castle. The room was dark and the only light you were seeing was from a little window, the door was big and scary honestly, when you first come into the room you would see a big statue of that bitch Mary. There the priest would give you 3 options: beat you, tie you in chains and not feed you for a week or put you in isolation for up to half a year. That guy was crazy and i’m pretty sure he hated children. Every kid would choose to be beaten because it lasted a short period of time compared to the other options. I was a maniac since i was little so i tried everything, being beaten till i was unconscious which isn’t that bad compared to the other things, i was beaten with everything you can imagine, chains, belts etc. I still have scars all over my body from that. Many kids weren’t strong enough and died. Their bodys were thrown in a room and from there they would be put then in the crematorium like they were nothing. Next i was tied and not fed, let me tell you, you get so hungry at one point you would even eat youself and i have seen one kid bite into his own arm somehow. Now the last and worst, isolation.I’ve been in isolation for maximum 2 months, i was put in a diferent room, this one had no windows so no light would come in, i felt like i was in a box, i had no bed, no nothing, i would eat once every 2 days half a bread. Many kids who went there didn’t come back. My friend was always send there even if he didn’t choose that. Dear Mike died when he was 15, i was 14 at the time.

Anyway, believe it or not that prepared me for what was next to happen. How do u think i survived the proxy training? That shit is hard but i will get there in a minute. After my friends death i felt like i wasn’t myself, i felt like some other me was taking control over my mind and body. When the priest found out about this change in my behavior he said i was possesd my some kind of demon and he performed this so called exorcisms on me that consisted in bathing me in holy water, tyeing me to the bed and saying many prayers. Useless. It wasn’t any of that. I actually had a second personality, a manifestation of my darkest and deepest thoughts and ideas. It was really hard for me to get used to this other me, over the time i even gave him a name: Devon. He became my best friend, he was the the only one who understood me. I faked being a normal kid so that the priest won’t try to take Devon away from me. I didn’t take any meds so day by day he was stonger and stronger, over the years we did many things, we destroyed a lot, first it started slow with plates and glasses but then i started to kill some animals around the church and the fact that i enjoyed it scared me at first. After i started doing this things i always felt watched, usually i was dizzy and sometimes i started to hear whispers even if i was alone in a room.

Years went by fast if i think about it, like if they were nothing, winters were the hardest because it was always cold and with all the tortureing sure it wasn’t the best thing. I was 18 when that event happned, i still remember every detail. It was summer, the weather was really hot, i was in my room when Devon took control out of nowhere, he wanted me to escape, to be free, to take revenge for every single thing they've done to me. He was right, i had to do something to get out and i wasn’t only gonna do that, i had to kill the priest and burn this place down. That church was what you guys call hell. If it’s hell then it has to burn. All day i wondered through every room in search of gasoline and matches, eventually at exactly 7:45pm i found what i needed, i stared at the objects like they were my saviours. Devon took control again and everything started, i poured the gasoline on every hallway of the church until the priest saw me, he wanted to hit me but i managed to fight him for a while, he was stronger than me so i ran away with the gasoline, i took a hatchet just to know i have something to defend myself with. I lit the match and threw it, i enjoyed the view of this place burning, i felt like i was able to dream again, i felt free and i didnt care who was still in there, the only thing that mattered was the fact that i got revenge and that im finally free. The view was ruined by the priest who was running in the woods. Of course i chased him with the hatchet until i lost him for a minute but then i heard a scream so i went in that direction. the adrenaline was overwheliming, i felt so powerful like i could do anything. After running for like a good 10 minutes i saw the priest dead with his killer getting off of him. The anger i felt in that moment is unimaginable, he stole my victim, the only person i wanted to kill with my hands, he took that away from me. I started running towards him with my hatchet. He stayed still like he didnt care, as i got closer to him i saw that he had the same weapon as me. I stopped and he smiled at me:

-You remind me of myself when i was little.

-I don’t fucking care what i remind you of, you just killed my victim!

-I’m Toby, Ticci Toby, nice to meet you...

- Evon, i said hesitantlly. Why are u doing this?Being nice.

-Thats a rule i have to follow, don’t kill or be rude to other killers.

Thats what changed everything, right after that i saw this faceless man behind Toby, he wasnt scared at all. This creature began speaking to me somehow.

-Child, i can give you a new home and i can let you be who you are, you don’t have to be afraid!

I didn’t have a place to go to so i accepted, i didnt know the training was gonna be so hard and long though. First i had to fight every proxy and that Masky guy left a scar on my face that went over my eye and my eye changed colour, from brown it went bloody red. Then i had to learn how to kill, how to survive, how to run from cops, it was hard for me but Toby helped me a lot. We got close and he took me with him every time Slends would give him a job. He was the youngest before i came in the picture. He told me his story, i told him mine. I had a friend after a long god damn time.

Now i’m 21 and i’m one of the best proxys Slender ever had. Toby is still the best of the best and to be honest he deserves the title. That’s my story. Now that you know it you should be prepared because i might come for u next.

[joopiterjoon]

Adored and Nothing More

Pairing: YoonJin Queerplatonic

Genre: PG, Slice of Life, Fluff?

Warnings/Tags: Aro!Jin, Ace-Spectrum!Yoongi, handholding, YoonJin complaining, self-discovery

Wordcount: 3k

A/n: I wrote this based on a joke with @kpopfan-antics... and then turned it into a fic.. and made it soft because what else is new.

Part of FicsWithLuv’s FWLBingo!

“Coffee?” Yoongi’s voice draws Jin out of his intense focus on the game that’s been in his hands so long they’re cramping. Jin blinks a few times before he fully registers the small man in his doorway. He leans on Jin’s doorframe, hair a mess and hoodie on despite the summer heat. It’s a typical contrast to be seen in the apartment- Jin in his boxers and a sweatshirt while Yoongi’s bundled up head-to-toe.

The most recent apartment suits them well. In college, the soft pastels of Jin’s side seemed comedic compared to Yoongi’s all-black-or-bust space. Now, Jin’s room faces the sun, while Yoongi’s faces the adjacent apartment building. Jin can look out into the day, and Yoongi’s room is kept cool by the lack of light.

Jin gives a small smile to his roommate before heaving out of the bed for the first time all day. He groans as he stretches.

“Old man,” Yoongi teases.

“Hey, that’s rich coming from you,” Jin argues as he shucks his hoodie and pulls a shirt over his head. “An old man would wish he looked this good.”

“Well, “ Yoongi begins despite walking into the living space towards the door, “You must be that good looking old man ‘cause only old guys groan like that when they stand.”

Jin frows as he trots after Yoongi’s huddled, waddling form.

“Like this?” Jin imitates the sound again while he bends to put his shoes on. “Or this?” He does it louder with his whole chest as they head out. “Or like-”

Jin stops abruptly when he sees their neighbors in the hall, startled by Jin’s noises. His ears burn as he bows deeply. “Sorry.”

Yoongi snickers, tugging Jin along with a loose grip on his hand. Jin’s amazed that in all his layers, Yoongi’s fingers are actually cold. He grips tighter to warm them.

“Hey,” Jin pipes up as they get on the street. “An old man would never shout like that either, you know?”

Yoongi side-eyes him and pulls a baseball cap lower over his eyes. He got a haircut last week, and the hat shows off his undercut well. But Jin knows how chaotic his hair is underneath. Still, somehow Yoongi looks cute with his hair fucked up and askew. “Mhm, sure.”

Satisfied, Jin bounces along next to his roommate. It’s a nice day out, Yoongi’s favorite kind. Good weather and few people. They stay quiet, taking note of the small changes in their neighborhood since the last time they left the house. Both introverts, Jin and Yoongi make a dangerously homebound pairing. If it weren’t for Yoongi’s dire need for specialty coffee, they would barely leave the house in the summer.

They head toward the small coffee shop that Yoongi chose as “his” coffee shop. Yoongi had a tendency to do that. He picked something he liked and stuck with it. Like Jin, his eternal roommate. And seeing as Jin and Yoongi had similar preferences in activities and lifestyles, Jin became what Yoongi stuck with very often. Jin would tease him, but really, he appreciated it. He’s comfortable with Yoongi. Content. He frequently finds it hard to balance his affection and sincerity with friends, yet Yoongi has always seemed to understand how Jin works.

“Woah,” Jin says as they enter the shop. It’s almost empty. He checks the large, driftwood clock hanging in the back of the small space. “Yoongi, it’s 3 pm.”

“Correct,” Yoongi answers curtly. They shuffle between the little square tables for two and up to the front.

“Yoongi, I’ve been in bed until 3 pm?”

“Correct.”

“Why didn’t you get me sooner? I haven’t eaten all day!” Jin whines. He throws his arms up in distress and nearly knocks over the little, inconveniently empty case of muffins on the counter.

“I’m not your keeper, old man,” Yoongi retorts and smiles politely to their barista.

“Just for that comment, you have to come and get naengmyeon with me after this,” Jin sniffs. 

“Awh,” she giggles behind the counter. “You two are always cute together.”

“Oh,” Jin and Yoongi both say. They give each other an up-down, then focus on their conjoined hands. It’s not the first time they’ve been mislabeled. It’s happened so often that they know exactly what the cashier means by “cute together.”

“Oh,” the cashier repeats, covering her embarrassment. “Are you not dating?”

Both of them open their mouths to respond, but neither say anything. They just stare, blank-faced and slack-jawed, at the barista. There’s not usually a pause here. One of them is quick to correct. The pause gives way to another pause as they both consider the weight of the first.

“I don’t think so,” Jin finally says.

“No,” Yoongi says more firmly yet still too late.

“No?” Jin’s a bit offended at how assured Yoongi sounded.

“Did you think we were?” Yoongi curls his lip in frustration. “You just said you don’t think so.”

“Yeah,” Jin agrees, his ears tinting pink. Sure, he doesn’t. But…

Are we dating? It’s a question that’s made Jin nervous his whole life. He always gets close, closer, closest to people. He feels happy, content to have someone close who knows him and values his presence. But, then, there’s always that “next step” others ask for. Something he never recognizes is there until after he confronts these kinds of situations. Situations like romance. Where someone wants him in a way that implies so much more than what he wants. The awkward moments when someone leans in for a kiss and Jin has to say explain there’s been a miscommunication. 

He never thinks they’re dating. He doesn’t feel a need to date, or what people mean by date. He just likes to be close to people he cares for. Jin’s thought about it many times. Why what he wants exudes wanting more to others when he likes what they have.

He thought Yoongi felt the same. Years and years of closeness.Someone who felt good to cuddle when they watched a movie. Someone who he could always talk to. Someone who never made him worried he might want more, that something people want that Jin just doesn’t. And now... “I thought you might think that we might be what we aren’t.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“So you do?”

Yoongi’s lip curls in confusion. “No?”

Yoongi blinks a few times, pout prominent as he becomes confused. “No what?”

They both let out a frustrated sigh. At this point, the barista slinks away to make their drinks, the slightest bit guilty for whatever she just caused. Jin turns to face Yoongi. Yoongi’s slouched against the counter, nonchalant, but his eyes dart between Jin’s trying to read him. Jin asks again, “Are we dating?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi says, rubbing at his other arm since he can’t cross them as long as they are holding hands. He finally looks away, and Jin’s heart jumps a bit at the nerves he’s showing. “You tell me.”

“I think…” Jin startles a bit at the sound of the latte machine. He hopes for a reprieve, the noise too loud for them to keep talking, but he doesn’t get that. The quartet of grinding beans and pressurized air quickly ends. Maybe it’s a sign to keep going. He really doesn’t want to do this in a coffee shop, but… “I think sometimes we are.”

Yoongi sighs again, but he doesn’t look back up, just waves Jin off. “Well, tell me when sometimes turns to a definitive.” 

“Nah,” Jin says, shaking his head, “I like how things are. Can we just keep doing this?”

“Alright then,” Yoongi nods. He drags them down to the open side of the counter as the barista cups their drinks. “Still want to go to dinner?”

“As a non-date date?” Jin asks, perking up. Whatever doing this is. That is a date usually, but it’s not a date for them.

“Jesus,” Yoongi crinkles his nose. “If that’s a date, we’ve been dating for years.”

“Maybe we have,” Jin says, blinking a few times. Maybe he’s right. If this is what they want to call it, it’s been a while. An apologetic barista slides two coffees across the counter as the two stand in silence for a moment. “That would be ideal. But I thought we weren’t-”

“Do not start this again,” Yoongi cuts him off and turns to find a table.

Jin doesn’t. He sits with Yoongi while he drinks his coffee. They check the weather to search for a time to go camping. They’ve tried to plan a trip three times this summer. Jin loves camping with Yoongi.

Late at night when they wait for the coals to cool in the fire, Yoongi talks the most. He talks about the world more when he’s not really in it. Being deep in the woods can feel like being in a different world. Jin likes taking Yoongi camping to help him gain perspective and for them to be out but with no one around. And on those trips, Jin’s thought about it. How if he had to be stuck with one person forever, it would be Yoongi. 

They toss their drinks and head back out. It’s quiet again as Jin follows the GPS on his phone. He tries to focus, but now there’s an idea in the back of his head. Is it this easy? Is this… okay? Is Yoongi going to want more? He’s never wanted more all this time. Jin’s sure he doesn’t want more.

Finally, after they get to the restaurant and order their food, Jin can’t take it anymore. He talks to Yoongi about anything and everything directly. He can talk about this. They are eternal roommates. It’ll be fine. They already addressed it before. Just not as much as he wanted.

Still, he can’t find an in, a moment to clear the air. So he gives up distracting himself, which seems to be what Yoongi’s doing because he won’t put his phone down.

“Why are you on your phone?” Jin asks.

“Googling us,” Yoongi says. He misses his straw a few times while he keeps reading.

Jin blushes. “Look, if anything strange comes up about a GoFundMe from 2012-”

“That’s not what I mean,” Yoongi says, crunching on an ice cube. “It’s called Queerplatonic.”

“That wasn’t the name of my GoFundMe but it’s kind of close.”

“I don’t want to know,” Yoongi says. “This. The thing we do. Are doing. Think we might… nevermind.”

Yoongi huffs out his frustration and flips his phone over on the table. Jin leans over the rickety bar table toward his pouty roommate. At this point, Jin had half a mind that what happened before was a joke for the barista. Now he finds out Yoongi’s been pondering the same thing in his head all afternoon. “Yoongi, you do want to date me, don’t you?”

Yoongi grumbles incoherently as he scratches at his ear. Jin leans back in his seat with a sigh. Ah. “I’m telling you, it’s fine. Everyone wants to date me. And apparently everyone thinks I want to date them. You are not immune.”

Yoongi’s head pops up, irritated as usual by Jin’s ego, and reminds him, “Earlier you literally said you’d be fine dating me.”

“I’m fine non-dating dating you,” Jin says.

“Queerplatonic,” Yoongi clarifies, waving the phone.

“Give me that,” Jin takes the phone from Yoongi. It’s some stylized Wiki page. He glances up at Yoongi, ears a bit pink. “You’re sitting here deciphering us without including me?”

“You’d talk so much I wouldn’t be able to read,” Yoongi shrugs. “Plus, I’ve seen you staring at my nonstop. I know you are thinking about the same shit over there.”

“You say that like you don’t talk all the time,” Jin pauses to nod in thanks to the waiter who sets their beers on the table. Jin drinks a bit more than he should off the bat. “You even talk in your sleep!”

Yoongi petulantly purses his lips. “If you aren’t going to read, give me my phone back.”

Jin leans back with the phone close to his chest and reads through the article. As he goes, he feels tension in his shoulders unwinding. 

What he’s reading in his hands, this is him. Moreover, it’s what he and Yoongi have. And some people, apparently, are okay staying this way.

“Yoongi,” Jin breathes, scrolling further. Yoongi doesn’t answer, he just keeps eating and watching Jin’s face nervously. “Is this… I think I’m this.”

“What is this? There’s like, 20 definitions on that site,” Yoongi gripes.

“I don’t know… something on this?” Jin says, scrolling again.

When he hears Yoongi put his beer down, he glances up. Yoongi’s hand is out on the table, palm up, inviting. Jin takes it hesitantly. He’s always liked holding Yoongi’s hand. There’s nothing implied. Nothing extra expected. Just touching someone. He takes it.

“Are you telling me you’ve never considered your sexuality?” Yoongi asks, wiping his mouth. Jin glances around at the other tables chattering and laughing over assortments of comfort food. No one’s really paying them much mind.

“Um, I mean, I guess I thought this wasn’t a sexuality? More of a libido thing. Not for me. I still like sex and stuff, but maybe every other month?” Jin trails off. Honestly, it’s something he’s tried to ignore thinking about.

“Well, I don’t really,” Yoongi says bluntly. 

“Why didn’t you say something?” Jin asks.

“I did,” Yoongi tries to sound nonchalant, but he hides behind his beer.

“When?” Jin asks, exasperated.

“Do you remember when we were watching that Avengers movie that made no sense?”

“Yoongi, for the millionth time, you can’t just choose to watch Civil War without watching any of the other--”

“That’s not the point,” Yoongi groans over Jin until he stops talking. “We were sitting there. Just chilling. And I said I liked this. And you said you, too. And then you held my hand, and I... leaned my head on your shoulder and shit.”

“That was…” Jin rubs his chin. “That was a confession?”

“I mean,” Yoongi shrugs, but he looks a bit annoyed.

“Oh.”

“I was pretty sure you were aromantic,” Yoongi continues, “or at least something of the sort. I mean, didn’t you google it?”

“I don’t google this stuff, I just deal with it,” Jin scoffs, but he feels his ears burning. He glances at Yoongi’s phone again. Aromanticism (or aromanticity) is an orientation in which someone does not experience romantic attraction. Aromanticism is often confused for asexuality, but asexuality is only a lack of sexual attraction. Not all asexuals are aromantic, nor are all aromantics asexual**. That.

He reads it aloud. “I think that’s me. Like, maybe both. But not all the time? But most of the time.”

“Okay, well, that’s cool,” Yoongi says. Simple. The simpleness of it all almost makes Jin urge to create something more. Not exactly drama. But now he’s finally talking about it, he wants to know a bit more. Especially now that he knows he and Yoongi have been on different pages about who they were to each other for almost a year. And he’s a bit overwhelmed with the fact that what Yoongi wants is to just stay how they are. It’s a bit too surreal to be reality.

Jin chews on his lip. “Do you like me?”

“I don’t like anyone,” Yoongi clarifies. He fumbles with his words a bit, frowning while he gets his thoughts together. He settles with, “But you’re okay.”

“No, I mean,” Jin takes a deep breath in. He laughs nervously. “Isn’t it scary? It feels like… I’m broken. Like I’m supposed to like you more than I do or in some, I don’t know, some other way I can’t fathom?” Jin chuckles nervously. He inhales the salty air mixed with the familiar smell of burning grease. “I didn’t expect to admit something is wrong with me and my dick at a dive restaurant.”

“Nothing is fuckin’ wrong with you,” Yoongi squeezes his hand. Jin glances away at the small compliment, which sounded more like a command. It makes him flustered. “First of all, I’m disappointed you are falling into the ploy of a nuclear family or some shit. The idea of some kind of ideal romantic relationship is commercialized and definitely benefits the economy. The entire dating culture. Don’t even get me started on gifts.”

“I already know how you feel about gifts,” Jin cuts in.

“Exactly, you know me, and I like to think I know you,” Yoongi says, his voice getting quiet at the end. Jin glances up to see something rare. Dusted pink chubby cheeks. He wants to pinch them, fidgeting in his seat.

“Jin, I like being with you, if that’s what you mean,” Yoongi sighs. “I like that we can just be us. I like doing things with you. I don’t want to put a label on it, just like I don’t want to put a label on myself. But the whole romantic thing? Not me. What we have? That fits me. I want to keep doing that. Do you want to keep doing that?”

Jin nods immediately. Yes, yes he does. He loves doing things with Yoongi. “But aren’t we supposed to do more? Get somewhere with it? I don’t know, profess our love?”

Yoongi drops back in his chair with a groan. “Jin, we aren’t supposed to anything. We can do what we want. Tell me what you want. You be you. I’ll be me. We always speak our minds, right? We just be ourselves. Talk to each other. Be, uh, together.”

Yoongi’s words start to drown into the sound of the restaurant, his palm sweaty in Jin’s. Jin smiles softly. He’s nervous. Cute. “Wow, I’m the worst. Here you are having to guide me through all this.”

“You are the worst,” Yoongi agrees. “I can deal with that, though.”

“Okay,” Jin says. He inhales and lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah, um. This is what I want. What I like. What we’re, you know, doing. Coffee and eating and living.”

Yoongi nods. “Alright. That wasn’t so bad. Now let’s eat and go stargazing or some other shit. The weather’s too nice to go home yet.”

Jin smiles softly. The food comes to the table and they both separate, picking up their chopsticks, and dig in. It’s easy. Comfortable. Content.

**This information came from this website [the website will be here in a bit. Tumblr is flagging posts with links so i’m waiting a bit before inserting it]

© July 2020 JoopiterJoon. Protected by Creative Commons. If you repost my work in any form or say “credit to author” I will find you and ruin you :D

Characters only borrow name and likeness from the members. Do not copy, translate, repost, or reuse this work.

[vanityloves]

anyways im gonna listen to/read the fuckin...rise of the ogre shit bc ive been putting it off 🪓🥴 im gonna put stuff under the cut bc im gonna be TALKING n dont wanna make a new post everytime

piss

ok he performed for 2 pounds 50. which is basically $3 today i- well it was absolutely a power play on his father behalf that also had the promise of money so.

also lol he said Rejection fueled my ambitions which, yknow,, i already knew but it still hurts and i will continue to talk ab it xoxo

AH HELP. "...if ebay had been invented at the time he would've sold me online there and then,"

"man hands on misery to man, yknow"

THEN PROCEEDS TO CONNECT IT TO MUSIC/HIS CAREER. this man said :) the one thing i truly have a passion for. the one thing i fucking like.

oh yeah. bullied by students AND teachers.

oh god hes 42ish during this interview? ok.

the fuckin school bully saying he wouldve acted differently if he knew what hed become

getting called "faceache", then proceeds to call 2d that. jfc he really does just repeat what everyone says. really "treating others how i was treated/how they treat me"

maybe thats why? hes kinder to fans? bc :] you support me and like me so, ok ill return that energy

MURDOC GETTING HIS ASS BEAT N PARADING HOME LIKE WELL I WON BC 'I PISSED YOU OFF' SJDJD

a real rowdy boy. absolute nasty boy. fraud and arson... shooting ppls windows with his air pistols

black sabbath being a huge inspiration? fucking absolutely.

became a satanist n shit at age 16? "it fitted me like a glove" "heavy metal and devil worshipping became my favorite past times" ajsj funny that ppl in trying times often seek religion or following of some sort

heavy metal being his favorite, n loving the clash, while hannibals was more punk based

hannibal breaking murdocs nose for the 2nd and 3rd time for playing his music on hannibals turntable

he doesnt sound that bitter? ab hannibal? he doesnt sound incredibly fond but he talks ab how he got him into a lot of music. so, i imagine they we're a bit closer than i thought?

international baccalaureate in antisocial? anthropology?

MURDOC IS ACTUALLY SMART HE WAS JUST. NOT INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECTS? I GUESS? (also,,, he literally Built cyborg noodle and i think he had a PhD too lol. but its always nice to hear hes actually...yknow, interested or good at other things)

alright but murdoc having a fascination w/ other cultures - or at least some interests, that lead him to actually study the damn subject and "pass with flying colors"

'fuck college though. im gonna be a rockstar'

he sold his soul at 18ish? whenever the fuck he got kicked out but college was mentioned so my brain goes to 18ish idk

he lived with his father still and paid rent via low paying jobs one including 'part time dressing as santa'

help he was ab to take a Personal Job for quick cash and uhh well, "still made me call him sir though" he really said 20 dollars is 20 dollars, huh "that story was totally true"

alright, 1997,,,

2d stuff

loves zombie stuff? thats really cute, and is freaked out by the way they move. god he rambles

both he and murdoc are horses in the chinese zodiac

[[jfc ok if the official shit compares them a lot i understand why ppl ship them but Dont. its a narrative foil and that doesnt always mean Romance jfc.]]

SUMTHINK.

truly... a lil stinker. super cute bouncing baby and a "bit thick" which is stull so endearing to me. hes just a happy man!

excitable 10 year old and would dance around his room

jfc the fact he has normal/caring parents. i kinda forget how opposite hes supposed to be from murdoc but i think thats another thing jsjsysg (murdoc said why isnt my tragic story making me famous why does he get to be the Star. no wonder he acts like a loon)

i still dont get how gettin bonked by a tree branch made him go bald and also turn his hair blue

big tiddy nurse mommy,,,

went to the same school as The Cure and got decent grades despite hittin the noggin quite hard. WANTED TO BE A STORM CHASER... OMG??

oh thats really cute, hed bond with his dad by building keyboards toegther 🥺💕

messed around with paints and graffiti? artistic king

MURDOC AGAIN: QHDJ 'VILLANOUS' GANG HELP

oh yeah d day...new instruments, new band, new singer - and 'had to be the best or no dice' and absolutely CONFIDENT that his songs were bangers ajsjd

but on that same note, had absolute faith (or desperate) in 2d which i love

ransacked the fucking music shop jdjdj and 2d said he was Just Standing There behind the counter the whole shift hdhdh

"thats when your eye came out, yeah" "yeah!-" HELP WHY DOES HE SOUND SO HAPPY AB IT ?? yes he said ut hurt but he sounds...ok

jfc murdoc ragdolling this poor mf around. dunking him and slapping him around. actually? so incredibly terrible and abusive and i hate him for that 🔫 im sorry 2d stans. we dont condone that behavior here ong.

how and why the FUCK did 2d's parents allow that fucker near their child after that i??? help. wtf. his moms a nurse why didnt she just have murdoc sit in plain view of other people. god damn.

2d flying out the window n hitting the curb "whoops"

"just two black holes...[ah] it looked great...a blue hair, blacked eyed GOD- the girls would go wild-" "pretty boy looks" ???? HELP. HE DOESNT GO LIGHT ON THE COMPLIMENTS, HUH

RUSS TIME

oh yeah, he straight up kiddnapped this man help. idk how he managed that, russ is a Big Man??

AND MURDOCS MUSIC WAS SO FUCKING SEXY GOOD that russel said hm alright ill stay, :] out ifbhis owm free will im screaming.

"oh this is one of them febreeze commercials" "uh . yeah sure. *murdoc turning on his Sick Tunes*" but that either means? it was just his guitar playing the convinced russ? unless he and 2d recorded sumn?

"2d was the looks, murdoc the brains, then russel truly was the heart"

'while 2d and murdoc liked music, this man was a MUSICIAN' god fucking bless this book holy shit ny man russ getting some respect. he said back hurts from carrying this band.

murdoc basically heard this guy had big trauma that gave him So Many Skills n said "thats what i want" ok idk thats actually really? inch rest ting to me. seems that murdocs fine handing out compliments but i guess that where his charisma really helps out yeah?

"he was going to be in my band whether he liked it or not" ...murdoc-

HELP. 2D IS LIKE BRO GO ON IM LISTENING 🥺 despite hearing the story 50-60 times and murdoc said fuck off you lil shit.

ok irrelevant but i love his voice! its super comforting n nice to listen to 🥺

HELP MURDOCS SO BITTER. "NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US IS NORMAL" WELL YEAH. THIS IS TRAUMA CENTRAL.

idk how/why he sucked up all his friends souls though ... how are they all possessing the same person. they said "its my turn on The Russ"

DELL IS HIS ACTUAL, LITERAL SOULMATE...KING...😭

went to a private school,,, and was already possessed? and the thing where he gets bigger and smaller is a reoccurring thing?

was in a coma for 4 years?

hiphop machine...time and history...the ultimate set i guess.

his knowledge was infinite and hes a "Renaissance man" hes so fucking smart our king. jack of all trades but a master of drums. he said i know im good and what of it

PAULA.

HELP. HE RMBRS THE STALL: CUBICAL NUMBER 3 🥴 IF I DO RECALL 🤤

yes russel our king. fuck up his nose 5 more times. probably stunted his growth too. he shrunk after russ gave him a wallop im sure

why dies paula sound like tracer overwatch

also only dated 2d for 2 months before joining the band?

HELP SHE REALLY WAS THE FIRST MURDOC FUCKER: "but when i saw murdoc with his thick greasy hair, green teeth and yellow skin i thought 'oh this is the ine for me!'" "OH HES SUCH A DANDY-" HELP ME IM HQJDHD

sick in the head...like i want to hurt people help girl. shes fucking Crazy. but she rly said damn i didnt hear back from him again 😭 and my purse is gone JSHHD

MURDOC: SHE WAS DEPRESSINGLY UGLY *still fucked her*

NOODLE TIME

"small japanese person!"

2d: we werent gorillaz until noodle arrived!

im dying the reason he chose gorillaz. 'swinging through the jungle baring my ass'

noodle really said "im just happy to be here" and she balanced everyone out 😭 "she gave off pure love and the fact that she could laugh at murdoc REALLY helped too" RUSS... IS BABY

JFC MURDOCS SO FUCKING CONFIDENT IN THIS BAND IM LIVING FOR THAT. HE SAID YOU WANT US SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID. THE CHARISMA

2d rambling ab some girl he met and "ssSs" "whats the s stand for hawhaw" "i dont know!".

THE RECORD LABEL GUY.

one song is all it took i ❤ good for them

just murdoc talking ab the party that they threw for thier deal and saying "you dont know how much of a dick i felt like [when carrying one of those huge checks]" like oh thats whatll make you a dick? alright.

A FOOD FIGHT THAT WENT SO HARD THAT IT KNOCKED 2DS TONSILS OUT? WHAT THE FUCK

ahshdj damon and murdoc not getting along bc of Rival Band One Uppery + damon calling murdocs cuban heels crap since ge wore steel ones with gold spurs.

MURDOC FEELIN EMBARRASSED BC HES 'QUITE PROUD OF HIS SHOES'

but the band and damon getting over music and their ambitions and became a "paternal figure"

HELP MURDOC SAID AWIOGA @ RACHEL WHICH MADE HER THROW HER DRINK IN HIS FACE AND SPLIT FROM 2D. kinda sad actually, she said i still like 2d but murdoc kinda ruined it by trying to get it in with me, it put a strain in our relationship :/ oh god murdocs That Dude

nov 31 1998: started recording :]

40 tracks that got cut down to 15 holy shit

KONG STUDIOS 🤲

hooking up cameras in every room ejdjsu

webby artist of the year in 2006? holy shit

noodle learning ab kong studios omfg

JFC. YES I KNEW KONG WAS BUILT ON/IN A CEMETERY BUT I DIDNT KNOW PPL FOR THE FUCKING PLAGUE WHERE THROWN THERE HDJD

built in 1739?

the ghost of the first owners ghost still roams around in the kitchen in the early hours and moans 'aaa glass of water'

theres some rotting bullshit near the studios and in the summer its fucking TERRIBLE

the former owners were a biker gang, and they all died in a fire

murdoc said this place has bad vibes. i want it.

grim weather

the building feels impossible to escape from huHgg

[kenmasgameboy]

PIPSQUEAK

a kuroo x gangmember!reader

summary;

" you like to cause a bit of trouble, pipsqueak?"

" pipsqueak? seriously?"

Life for you got turned upside down after your first year at Nekoma high. Realizing it was too dangerous, your parents sent you back to live in Miyagi and attend Karasuno with your old friends. Kuroo Tetsuro, the Police Chiefs son, comes into contact with you in the most unexpected way possible, bringing trouble wherever you both go.

—————————-

Prologue.

      High school was never that interesting to you. Though, you'll admit that it was a good way to help the days pass. You always found different games to help.

At first, games to you meant sneaking out of the house, slashing tires, almost getting arrested, going to parties. You had a bad reputation. You had been mixed up with all the wrong people before at your old school. But now you were going to turn your life around. Even if that means that now games to you would mean studying. Kind of.

         The closest you'd probably get to your new life would be getting in trouble for minor things at school. For example, falling asleep in class was a specialty of yours. Truly, an art form. Waking up to that sweet slap of a ruler against your desk was better than any alarm clock you'd ever hear. The rush in your chest, the heat to your cheeks, the sweaty palms. Incredible. But that is it. You promised your mother that this year you would be making her proud at Karasuno. You wouldn't be hanging out with those "thugs" as she liked to call them. You would keep up, maybe pay attention, and maybe make some more real friends.

       The truth was that school never felt like a real challenge to you. Sure there were plenty of difficult subjects that made you feel stupid but you always kept out of the drama, minded your business, and kept your head down. It was fine. There really was a target on your back now that you were the new girl at school though, and you had adjusted week by week meeting new people and reuniting with some old ones, too. But ultimately you decided the social system just wasn't made for you. There wasn't really a good place for you to fit in, or maybe it just wasn't comparing to the kind of family you made before.

      Today was one of those days where your motivation was at its peak, you were taking good notes. Studied for a quiz, been overly diligent. Then that sweet beautiful sound of the lunch bell rang, you pulled out your food, grabbed your skateboard, and left the classroom in a bit of a hurry. As you were leaving you started to hear a conversation:

      Dude, don't worry, I have it completely handled. Watch...

      "(Y/N)!" Narita, your classmate called for you once you exited the room and into the hallway. He stood next to Ennoshita who looked like he would explode any second. You knew Narita, him and Ennoshita were in Class 4 with you and you really didn't have that many real friends at school but you wouldn't mind calling them that. They were some of the friends you were reunited with from middle school, they were a big comfort to you when you transferred in.

      "Hey, how's it going?" You slowly walked over, trying to find your excuse to leave and take a nap without seeming impolite.

      "Great, good. Thanks, yourself?" Narita answered for him and Ennoshita. He also seemed in a hurry for some reason but was much worse at covering it up.

      "Pretty tired, but uh, for the most part—" You started but your sentence didn't last long.

      "You should come to my party! Uh— Our party. We're having a party it would probably wake you up. It's in Tokyo! I mean—" Narita came in strong.

       "Nice, buddy. You really do got this handled." Was all Ennoshita followed it up with, "Gotta go, see you guys in class."

       "A party?" You laughed a little, just because these guys were anything but the partying type. You started walking and Narita was following you like a hawk, "Don't you guys have volleyball practice or something?"

        "Yeah, of course. But not this Friday night! I mean technically we do but we'll be done at 6:30. Party can start at 7:30." Narita followed up, "All the volleyball guys will be there, too. We have a summer training camp in Tokyo starting on Monday so this is kind of the only day we can get everyone together. We already had our friends from Nekoma invite pretty much everyone they knew."

       "N-Nekoma, huh?" Your smile wavered, "That sounds like it'll be really fun for you guys. Thanks for the invite, but I don't really know anyone on your team. Plus, I can't get to Tokyo by 7:30." You said, declining as well as you could without making your answer too suspicious.

       "Well, yeah about that. Um, by 'it's in Tokyo' what I meant to say was Tokyo guys will be there. They're volleyball players, too, actually." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck and adjusting his satchel, trying his best to act cool and lean against the vending machine you were using.

       "So, it's a Volleyball mixer with you guys and a bunch of guys from Tokyo but it's not in Tokyo? Where is it, then?" You asked for the elaboration, kind of liking this dancing way to get to the point.

        "Yes, well and other schools in Miyagi, too. It's a lot of schools, I mean I'm talking Nekoma, Fukorodani, Aoba Johsai, Johzenji, Date Tech, Shiratorizawa.. maybe.. Inarizaki.. and more.. again maybe. But it's at Kinoshita's house. Which is still kinda far, but it has a pool! His family is loaded and they'll all be gone this weekend." Narita finally got to the point.

        "Sounds like it'll be a good time for you guys. I'm happy for you, sounds like you've made a lot of friends from other schools." You cheers'd your milk to him and started walking again to find a place to eat.

        "No, no. Girls will be there, too. It's kinda the whole point."

        "You really have to work on your pitch." You said plainly.

        "Please, I need your help (Y/N). I was put in charge of getting girls to come to this party." Narita begged, you couldn't help but let out a laugh at his desperation. In all your years of knowing him and being in the same classes you had never seen him talk to a single girl who wasn't in a group project or something related to it.

        "Why you?"

        "It was either me or Tanaka."

        "Oh, then definitely you are the better choice." You agreed, having known just from the previous stories he's told you. "Interesting proposition. I'll think about it."

       "You'll think about it and say yes?" He tried, "Every time I talk to a pretty girl I feel like I'm going to throw up, I can't talk to groups of girls and invite them to a party. But you're likable, more well known now since you're the new girl."

       "First of all, rude that I don't make you want to throw up. I'm pretty, sometimes."

       "Fair."

        "How about, I'll say yes if you tell me who it is you have a crush on, which girl you most want at this party then I'll help out." You offered. Narita thought for a minute as you started eating your lunch.

       "Fine." He nodded, "This is my duty to my boys." Then he leaned into your ear and whispered the name of the prettiest and smartest girl in your class: Ichika Yua. Ichika was going to be a tough sell.

       "Alright. A deals a deal. You've given me a secret and I will do what I can do. How many girls do you need, anyway? Are we going for a 1:1 ratio or..?"

       "No, these guys need a much higher chance I think. Let's try a 4:1 ratio."

       "Yeah, actually you're gonna take what you can get."

       "Yes, ma'am."

        "Now give me the rundown on your team. I don't really know any of them and I need to know for my pitches I have to do this week. And don't think because I'm doing some work means that you can slack off okay. I really only know 2nd-year girls, if you want 3rd year or 1st you have to go to them. You need to try too. Also, will there be alcohol?" You listed off your demands and were straight forward. Narita made a slow nod,

        "Oh, I almost forgot. Do you know any girls from Nekoma who could come?" He asked you the dreaded question.

        Yup, you were originally supposed to spend your high school years at Nekoma High School. When you were entering high school your dad got a job offer in Tokyo, forcing you to move out there after middle school. Then after everything happened, your Mom knew it was too risky to let you live out in Tokyo still and she shipped you back here to go to Karasuno and live in a small apartment by yourself. You have family friends who come to check on you and your parents visit when they can. It's not horrible, at least now you get to come back to streets more familiar.

      "Um, I think the girls I knew from Nekoma aren't exactly the girls you want at a party. Besides, you should just ask your volleyball brethren to ask some girls and pull their weight. Or are they too pretty for you to talk to?" You teased Narita and knocked his head.

      "Hey, girls are girls." Narita held his head from where you knocked it.

      "Sure, if thats the case then the next time you see me I better be seeing some chunks."

     You and Narita continued to eat lunch together that day. Until you realized you only had a limited amount of time left and had to use the bathroom before class so you excused yourself. You skated away around the outside of the courtyard with a bun in your mouth and around some of your other classmates, waving.

        "Dude, uh. Who was that?" A guy with an aggressive appearance walked up to Narita, having walked past a few minutes before but stayed just to gawk.

        "Huh? (Y/N)?" Narita clarified, innocently.

        "(Y/N)... wow. What a beautiful name." Tanaka sighed in simp, "Is she our year?"

        "Yeah, man. She's in my class. You never noticed her before? I'm surprised she was the talk of Karasuno guys for like the whole first week of this year." He laughed. "She is technically new to Karasuno this year. But she's from Miyagi, I've known her since grade school."

        "My babe sensor has been reserved for Kiyoko only recently. Trying to be loyal." He humphed, "You guys a thing?"

       "What? No, no." Narita laughed, "No, we've just been friends for a while. She's helping me get girls to come to the party on Friday."

       Tanaka jumped up with optimism, "Yes! This is going to be the best party of our high school lives!"

       "I hope so." Narita rubbed his neck to try and tame his nerves again.

       "(Y/N).." Tanaka sighed again, "You know who's gonna go nuts when they get a look at her, right?"

       "I know."

———————————-

next

Thank you so much for reading!! Please let me know what you think and keep reading!!

[isadcrajade]

💀 * [ barbie ferreira + cis female + she/her ] —— have you met isadora oliveira ? they are a twenty-one year old sophomore currently studying fashion design & merchandising. they live on keating house, and word around campus is that this aries is loyal + warm, as well as self-objectifying + obsequious. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. chocolate covered strawberries, gothic platforms, lingerie under leather jackets.

hiii bbies it’s me (gabby) finally here again to post this finalized, messy version of isa’s intro! she’s a brand new never-been-played muse of mine so it’s def bound to be a bit more scattered & less developed than ezra’s, but also much shorter? so i mean there’s a bonus lmao alright here we go:

so isadora (also known by many nicknames such as isa, izzy, iz, & dora the explora if ur trying to piss her off vgbjhksjs) was definitely not brought up in a world of prestige and recognition like the one she’s become so accustomed to in attending holloway university

growing up in the small town of lisbon, maine the only reality isa knew during her childhood was that of living as the only child of a woman who was (TW) both a compulsive liar & and compulsive hoarder. their house was floor to ceiling with things her mom collected as well as garbage built up over time- her condition had already driven isa’s father out of the house when she was just three years old, and she never had a relationship with him as a result

she was still fairly young when she realized the true severity of her own situation, just how abnormal it was compared to that of her friends. she missed out on so many rights of passage during her upbringing like birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. for much of her life her own living space / bedroom were just as bad off as the rest of the house, given her mom’s inability to keep from passing her hoarding tendencies onto her daughter. isa simply didn’t know any better at the time. to her, that was normal.

not only was her mom a compulsive liar & hoarder but she was also extremely neglectful, often leaving isa to her own devices in the dangerous environment they called home. as a result of this she (TW ED) developed harmful coping mechanisms surrounding food, regularly overeating to combat negative feelings of loneliness, and this went on from the time she was just a little girl all the way until she was in high school

high school was rough in many ways- she suffered depression, anxiety, experienced bullying at the hands of the more popular kids for her weight & her mother’s financial situation, and was all around extremely isolated from her peers- the only person she really had to depend on was her cousin (WC) . she had so much respect and envy for her cousin, they had more of a sisterly dynamic than anything, she was just so gorgeous and everything she did just seemed so effortless, to the point isa couldn’t help but idolize her and consider her a best friend. 

like, remember when spongebob said he hoped that by being in squidward’s presence some of his artistic ability would rub off onto him? that was deadass isa & (WC) in high school jhbksnjs my girl was so sure if she just spent enough time with her she’d inherit some of her pretty & cool

high school was also where she reached a turning point when it came to her home environment, able to put a name to her mom’s condition after years of struggling with her strained and toxic relationship with her mom, and ultimately changed the rest of her life. she stayed the night at (WC’s) one night and after she fell asleep, isa stayed up watching TLC- it was there that she first discovered the TV show ‘hoarding: buried alive’ and realized there was a name for her mother’s infliction- but more importantly, learned that there was help available for her condition

when she went home to excitedly tell her mother that she’d basically discovered a cure, a means to change everything for them... she certainly hadn’t been expecting the reaction that came: her mom, who’d always been so indifferent toward her, so lethargic and uninterested in what she had to say, was suddenly listening very clearly- and she was not happy. isa had never heard her mom scream like that, had never really heard her express any heightened emotion, but it was in that moment at 17 years old, just a few weeks away from her 18th birthday, that she realized what she needed to do. she had no choice but to make plans to leave her mom behind.

the final weeks leading up to the big day she was counting on as a turning point consisted of her cleaning out her own space, little by little, enough that she had somewhere to set up her secondhand laptop and webcam. blowing out the candles on her 18th birthday cake came with wishing for a whole new life, and she was determined to make that for herself by any means necessary.

(TW SEX WORK) isa spent half her 18th year in her room working as a successful camgirl, showing everything but her face, & of course always being careful not to dox herself. she eventually earned enough money to start buying herself nicer clothes, but it didn’t take her long to realize she wanted more from life than just rotting away in her hometown. she bought herself a higher quality webcam to keep making money... and a nice sewing machine, something she’d always dreamed of owning. 

all her life she’d been drawing and sketching as a means of escapism, it’d always been therapeutic to her to be creative and conjure up unique designs for outfits in her mind, drawing models in all shapes and sizes to represent her fantasy outfits. but she never felt like a visionary, even though anyone with an eye for fashion who got a look at her work could see that she had the natural talent and potential to be. 

isa had been an a straight-A student her whole life despite having almost no support at home from her mother growing up, and with plenty of encouragement from (cousin WC), she plucked up the courage and applied for holloway university, with ivory falls being far enough from her hometown of lisbon, but still in the same state so that she could go and see her mother from time to time (bc although their relationship is quite strained now, she still loves and worries about her)

the next summer she received her acceptance letter at holloway u for the coming fall semester, and the fact that she’d been able to make it into such a prestigious school made her feel so proud of herself that she completely underwent a massive arc of character development; evolving into someone so much more confident. realizing that plenty of people found her desirable as she continued to earn money through cam shows had been part of that transformation, but realizing she was talented enough to get accepted into the fashion design and merchandising program at her dream school had a completely different effect on her. 

( TW BODY IMAGE ISSUES ) isa decided that as she entered college, she was no longer going to be the meek, insecure girl constantly playing the role of the doting, loyal fat best friend to the ‘prettier main characters’ she’d always been sidekick to- she told herself that she was the main fucking character in her life from here on, and has spent her entire college experience up to this point just,, navigating as she figures out what that really means to her

still has a terrible underlying tendency to be overly-loyal and a bit obsessive with girls she closely befriends, if she has any kind of jealousy towards them. but ! is a lot more confident than she used to be, and it shows in the way she dresses and carries herself, as well as in her long-term goals (to transfer to FIDM for her final years of university)

( TW ED MENTION ) as a young adult, she’s mostly she’s replaced the compulsion to deal with her body image issues by using food to cope that she had as a teenager... by using sex to cope instead, so she’s definitely a bit promiscuous but does her best to keep that Her Own business 

personality-wise she has a massive heart & is loyal to a fault but is also wild AF & loves a good time! never rly dabbled in drugs until she got to college but since then has acquired an interest in trying everything under the sun, even if it’s just one and done. mostly though she just likes to get really drunk & stupid. used to feel like she was constantly living in her cousin’s shadow, & in some ways she still does, but she’s trying hard to make herself believe that she’s reached a place where she won’t be playing second fiddle to anyone, ever again

i’m gonna shut the hell up now & stop pretending i know this character better than i do bc i deadass do not jbhnjss like she’s literally brand new so lemme go head & leave plenty of room for development!

same story as ezra i’ll have a full connections page posted for her soon but in the meantime some ideas i have are: friends, frienemies, ex friends, high school bullies, classmates, old high school friends, people she gets fuckt up with on the reg, people she hooks up with on the reg (any gender, she’s bisexual / biromantic), someone she had a crush on in high school / has pined for from afar maybe?? someone who used to watch her cam shows?? someone she almost kinda dated but Not? someone who she hooked up with while they were dating someone else?? idk that’s what i have for now but there’ll be more where that came from <3 xoxo like this or hmu !

[daretosnoop]

Legend of the Crystal Skull Review:

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!

Atmosphere/Layout:

I loved this game so much! The Nancy Drew games are always stellar at placing you in the world of the game. I have yet to play a series that really roots you in its atmosphere. CRY delivered that at another level. I’ve been to New Orleans, and this game took me back to that trip. I loved how everything in the house was slightly crooked to reflect the kookiness of Bruno Bolet, as well as make things more eerie. I remember how the intro to the game scared me as a kid, yes, I got scared of the Skeleton man as a kid. Imagine freaking out to the skeleton man attack and then cutting to Renee’s creepy eyes as a kid! Even as an adult, Renee’s eyes creep me out, and no way was I ever going to drink that concoction! This game has a lot of odd things that you can eat: mysterious beverage that may or may not kill you, chocolate that definitely will, and expired bubble gum that surprisingly does not kill you. Okay, back to atmosphere. The ambience of the game was consistent, even when you played Bess’s portions which was supposed to take you away from the eeriness of the Bolet house for a bit. The rain effect and the semi-dark state of the house because of the electricity outage definitely amped up the fear and creepiness. You definitely took cautious steps in and out of the house. The graveyard. THE GRAVEYARD. THE GRAVEYARD. I think the exploration of the graveyard might be my favourite exploration spots of all the games. I love how you can see Nancy’s silhouette and hear her shoes as she traversed the grave. It was big enough to pique curiosity, but not so big that you would get lost. I also appreciated how every grave section had its own design as it made things more memorable. I know some people didn’t like the graveyard scavenger hunt, but I relished it! The earlier games (1-5) had this slight ruthlessness to the game play. There was a slight edge that kept the reader hooked and just a touch fearful, and this game maintained that edge. I really appreciated that, especially since it would pater out a bit in later games.

Music:

This game has one of the best tracks: “Legend”. That alone should put it as a game with an amazing music score, but no, they had to add other titles like “Chatter” and “Bruno”. As someone who loves Jazz, I digged this score. So often I would stop and just listen to the music, and could feel myself get pumped whenever “Legend” would play. Honestly, why hasn’t someone created a Nancy Drew Ambience record yet? The jazz music was a nice contrast to the shadowy layout which added to the “everything is slightly unhinged” element of the game. But man, when the danger music would play, I would get chills. Especially when you’re in Renee’s room or in Bruno’s secret room. Surprisingly those two rooms creeped me more then the graveyard!

I also loved the little noises like the sound of rain, or the way the rain hit the windows. Nancy’s heels as she walked through the graves. The skeletal hand for Charlie’s puzzle. The sound Henry’s chair makes when he moves. Etc. etc.

Characters:

Nancy was amazing as usual. It surprises me how she remains unfazed by everything, but I love that side of her. Bess felt a bit out of character with her resistance to participating in snooping. Usually she’s dying to know what’s up, or help Nancy out, but she wasn’t this time. Still, got to had it too her. Not many friends would sneak into a private meeting and demand her rights despite being surrounded by creepy skeletal men. Some of you might scoff, but y’all would be crapping your pants if you were in the same situation.

So since you technically didn’t know there would be a mystery, it made sense that there were only 3 suspects. I like how Nancy doesn’t start out with an investigation. She mostly wants to figure out who the skeletal man was and why he attacked her, and how that simple curiosity leads her to the crystal skull. It’s a nice progression of plot.

Henry: Henry Bolet is handsome. I know some people might not like the arm sleeve thing or painted nails, but it’s 2020, it’s called aesthetic! Her Interactive over here creating male characters who want to paint their nails way before popular culture accepted it/picked up on it. Haters be jealous. I’m kidding. But still, I loved how much depth they put into this character. How with so little, you understood his character. When he complains about how Bruno sent him away as a child, it revealed that Henry is someone who really needs family. He’s aware his emotional needs are higher than the average person, not because he lost his parents, but just who he is by nature. It also makes his attachment to Summer make more sense. We can easily surmise that Summer was probably the first person to give Henry the emotional security he needed, but that it was clearly done for her own selfish desires. Henry’s inability/or refusal to see it also makes more sense. That being said, the moment we learn about Summer, it takes Henry off the suspect list. Up till then, the game does a good job at making him seem suspicious do to his dealings with Lamont. It’s not a bad thing, but since we only have 3 suspects, his removal immediately makes the culprit an easy 50-50 guess. Not to mention the fact that after blackmailing him (which was kind of mean of Nancy to do to someone who is already being emotionally abused by his girlfriend) he gets sidelined for the rest of the game despite there being a good chunk left to play.

Renee: Classic sweet but deadly suspect. Love how the game kept her super suspicious from the way she acted to the way she would emphasize things. For example, I found it so odd that she remembered the exact percentage of who would receive what in the will, like she had been mulling over that. And the way she ends with mentioning that she was to receive 10% compared to the others getting 30%, so subtle a remark yet it catches the ear of any good detective. And of course, the room and her interest in the occult made the suspicion grow. Unfortunately, I found the whole part about authenticating the skull a bit lackluster and kind of gives the culprit away. I mean Renee said “I wanted to find the skull” when Nancy confronts her about hiding information. After such a confession, wouldn’t the obvious follow up question be “why?”. I can only guess they included this to hype up the “chase” for the skull since we know the Dr. Buford is also looking for it, but the game didn’t really deliver on the urgency so this felt like a lackluster confession. It also came close to the end of the game, so when Renee appeared at the end it wasn’t surprising. Nancy’s faith in Renee was odd, and the fact that she just tossed up the skull—face slap! Nancy, she literally confessed 10 min ago, did you forget!? The ending was nice. I liked how she “forgot” to tell Nancy about Bernie (so malicious!), but then actually forgot that Bernie was in the water.

Dr. Buford: He was interesting. Seems nice and charming, but the more we learn about Bruno’s death, the suspicious he becomes. Love how Bess worries about Buford coming back to take the skull. I still don’t understand what exactly the skeletal society does, other then being pirate fans, but I liked the costumes.

Puzzles:

I love a healthy balance between puzzles and dialogue and this game delivered on that. The dialogue was nicely spaced out throughout the game and added to the characters. Each character had their own way of talking and phrases that stayed true to their character. The one exception is Henry’s “I’ve been naughty but I’ll be nice now” line which threw me off so hard. HELLO?? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS! It’s so random for a college/uni person to say this. Actually, who says this?? I’ll be honest, my mind went a bit dark and wondered just how bad was Summer abusing him for such a dialogue to come out of him……. poor Henry.

But back to the puzzles. I honestly loved most of the puzzles. I know the bowling ball machine (the one where you have to roll all eyes) annoys people, but I enjoyed it. I also know the graveyard scavenger hunt bored people, but I love puns, and l loved the layout of the house and graveyard so much that running back and forth was so much fun. Solving the clock puzzle and teeth puzzle was also fun, and they made me feel like a genius. The first part of the buzzard puzzle wasn’t bad, it was just annoying to have to turn back and see what affect each gargoyle bird did. The book mentioned that the sounds the gargoyle’s made was important, but I didn’t catch anything. I also liked how the final puzzle was a puzzle that built throughout the game. You didn’t know the eye puzzle would be the final big puzzle, but every little puzzle played a role in being a part of the final puzzle. I just thought that was cool, I like interconnected stuff.

There were three puzzles I did not like. The first was with Bess and the box she had to open. The clue was Hamlet and some numbers. I thought that you had to call Nancy and have her check the library for Hamlet and look up those reference numbers. What was the point of writing Hamlet? Nowhere in the letter did it mention that you have to associate the letter to the number and type out what it spells. Also, it did not mention that you had to restart the counting every time! I had to go online for help with this puzzle. The second puzzle was the second part of the buzzard puzzle. After getting the key, which you don’t get a good look at, you’re supposed to use them on the gargoyles. But I didn’t get that, plus the emblem on each gargoyle was just a feather with notches, so how do you know that the key goes there??? Finally, I hated the wasp puzzle. It was annoying and I don’t know why Nancy didn’t take a handful of loquats at once!

Graphics:

They really hold up despite being 13 years old. Sure, it’s a bit weird around the eyes and mouth, but the rest is stellar. Also, I love how they added in certain quirks that matched each character’s personality. Like Henry kicking his legs up to show he’s someone who doesn’t care about bending the rules, little rebellious. But then the fact that he sits proper when talking shows that he’s not so rebellious and is actually trying to be professional. Also shows the contesting sides of his emotional needs and the military training he would have received. Renee’s position over her pots show that she’s someone tricks you into thinking that she loves to work with her hands (lol, end game “this girl just handed me the skull”. I told you I love puns). It also shows that she prioritizes the small things, and the fact that she’s potting despite being recently laid off (she’s the only character still working despite Bruno’s death) makes her a bit unnerving. Dr. Buford at the French quarters show that he’s someone of charm. Etc. etc.

Plot:

Like I said, loved the slow buildup of plot—how one thing led to another. Don’t know why Ned sent Nancy to do his work, but okay…

The Summer plotline felt like it got accidentally dropped. Like the writers forgot to finish it. Even if it’s just Nancy telling Henry that what he has isn’t healthy/good, or something in the end credits where he finally broke up with her. For all we know, they could still be together.

The introduction of the magical qualities of the skull and Bruno’s death was weird. I like how Bruno’s death became questioned, but while his desire for the skull kind of made sense, it didn’t make sense why Buford or Renee wanted it. It still wasn’t clear at the endgame either. I guess there’s the financial prospect, but that subplot kind of pattered out in favour for the magical plot. It also didn’t make sense that Bruno wanted it for Henry, because let’s be real, he wasn’t a good guardian. It really did seem like Bruno didn’t care for Henry. I mean, why give your nephew a skull instead of what he really wanted/needed, a friend. You can take this a bit darker when you realize that Bruno was giving Henry monetary comfort over emotional comfort and that Henry by end game has come to associate monetary gift to be equivalent to emotional gifts, which just makes his relationship with Summer get even darker.

 Overall, this was a great game. 10/10. One of my favourites and would play again and again. That’s why I bought it, lol!

~Dare to Snoop

[skz-belle]

Meeting the Team

Summary: A collection of stories detailing how Belle met each member of Stray Kids in chronological order

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: language, unedited, writing deteriorates as it goes on

Word Count: 5.8k

m.list

one: yang jeongin

The first day of being a trainee is horrifying, yet full of excitement. There was a moment where Belle was contemplating even entering the building, her fears of inadequacy were trying to weigh her down and drown her. She was standing in front of the building when someone bumped into her. 

“Oh, sorry! I was on my phone- I didn’t see you there.” The boy that ran into her explained his predicament. He looked very young and Belle felt for him immediately.

“It’s okay. Don’t even worry about it.” 

“I still feel bad though.” He looked at the ground with a small pout playing on his lips before whipping his head back up to look Belle in the eyes. “Are you a trainee?”

She was slightly startled by the sudden question and attitude change, yet she still answered. “Yep, today is my first day actually.” His smile grew even bigger after hearing her response.

“That’s great! Welcome to JYP Entertainment! I have been a trainee here for about 6 months, so I could maybe show you around?”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. I’m sure you’re busy and I don’t want to cause trouble.”

“No! It wouldn’t cause any trouble! Plus I want to get to know you. You seem nice! What did you get in with?”

“Dance. How about you?”

“Singing. Maybe you could help me out with dancing? Oh! Or we could sing a duet together to begin our wonderful friendship!”

At this moment, all the worries Belle had melted away. She saw the pure child-like excitement in this boy’s eyes and she knew that this had the potential to be a strong friendship to help her down the harsh path they were both pursuing. They had just met, but they felt something strange with the other that felt like home. True friendship was blossoming.

“That sounds really nice. I’m Belle by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Belle. I am Jeongin.”

two- bang chan

Being a trainee at JYP meant unknowingly signing up to be part of a large gossip circle. Most every trainee knew each other, or at least of each other. It was a small pool to pull from, so every single bit of knowledge that could be obtained from the internet or primary sources was put to use; basically everyone knew a lot about Belle, and she knew a lot about them. 

Belle had heard the name Chan before, everyone had. Arguably being the most well known trainee, and having been there for as long as he had made it almost impossible to not have heard about him. He was very talented and anyone could see that.

Despite hearing about him so often, Belle did not get the chance to meet Chan until one fateful night when she was struggling to prepare for her second monthly evaluation. Belle shivered at the mere thought of failing during one of those infamous days, so she was pulling an all-nighter to prepare. The dance she had picked was very technical, which left room for multiple errors. This had Belle frustrated and ready to sleep, despite knowing she had many hours of practice ahead of her. 

She took a deep breath and played the song once more. After completing the dance for the nth time that night, she heard clapping from the doorway. She assumed it was Jeongin, the only friend she had made thus far and brushed it off. She knew she was about to get an earful for still practicing at this hour. 

Instead of Jeongin’s voice, a deep smooth voice spoke up. “Wow, the rumors were not wrong. You’re incredible.” Belle whipped her head around to see the one and only Bang Chan standing in the doorway with a small smile playing on his lips. 

“Um, thank you?” All Belle managed to get out were those few words. It was a shock to her system to meet someone so well known and to have him complement her. This earned a small chuckle from the man.

“Sorry, that did come off a little creepy, didn’t it?” Belle finally gave him a bit of a smile as he continued, “I was passing by and I heard the music, and I was kind of curious who was still here at two in the morning. Belle, right?”

“That’s me. Chan, right?” 

“The one and only. I was just about to go take a break and get a snack if you want to come with.” Shock took over Belle’s mind. This is the man that trainees swooned over, and he was asking her to take a break with him?

“Sure, I need a break anyways.” She quickly gathered her things and made her way to Chan.

“So, mind telling me why you’re working on an already great dance piece at this ungodly hour?” Chan’s question pierced the momentary silence as they began the walk to the vending machines.

“I have evaluations tomorrow. I guess practicing makes me less nervous?”

“You are already amazing, I can promise you that staying up this late won’t help you.”

“I know it won’t, but I just can’t help it.” She looked over to him to see him looking straight forward down the long hallway. “Enough about me and my stupidity, why are you still up?”

“Would it make me a hypocrite if I said the same reason as you?” Chan let out a nervous giggle and Belle just rolled her eyes. 

“That is the exact definition of a hypocrite.” She looked over at him again to see his ears flushed with the tiniest bit of color. “Y’know, you don’t need to stay late either. It’s kind of unfair how talented you are.”

“I never took you for the flattery type.” Chan jokes whilst bumping his shoulder with Belle’s.

“It’s not flattery if it’s true! Half the trainees want to date you, and the other half want to be you. You’re crazy talented, and you should know that.”

“Thank you. I think we should hang out more often, you aren’t as cold as people make you out to be. You’re fun to be around.”

“Why thank you. The rumor mill isn’t that kind to me, but thanks for taking a chance on me. By the way, if I see you spending any more late nights here I will make you get some sleep. Just keep that in mind.” And of course, she carried her promise through like a friend should do.

three: lee minho

There was always such a burden placed on those who entered the trainee life through the way of dance. There was a much bigger strain on them to improve other skills, such as rapping or singing. Belle always tried to work hard, however she tended to focus on dance, as that was a major passion of hers. Rap and other musical forms are also very influential passions, but her first love was dance. 

She was focusing on the steps to the current dance she was trying to master and failed to focus on the rest of the room, per usual. Dancing had a strange way of hypnotizing Belle and making her focus solely on the moves and flow of the song. It was part of why it was her first love- the immersive qualities of it that produced euphoria when she completed a dance without errors. However, that was not happening for her. She couldn’t get a simple move down and it irked her. She huffed as she slumped down on the practice room floor and watched the video once more to try to get her bearings. 

She focused on the small screen intently- her will to learn and improve was strong and evident in how her eyes followed the figure as it flowed across the screen pixel by pixel. She took a deep breath before attempting the step again, and failing once again. She was a talented dancer according to higher-ups in the company, so why couldn’t she get this right?

“You have to have a lot of skill to mess up a move that simple.” A voice cut through the air in the nearly empty practice room. A boy stood before her; he didn’t look to be that much older than Belle, which confused the poor dancer even more.

“I’m sorry, may I help you?” Belle’s voice was light and soft compared to his rather harsh tone. 

“Yeah, you’re Belle, right? Your scheduled time for this room was up nearly fifteen minutes ago and I have been waiting for you to get the hint and leave.” His tone became even more harsh and he sent a rather menacing glare towards Belle.

“I- I’m sorry. I got caught up and lost track of time.” She remembered looking at the sheet earlier. This was Lee Minho, another trainee who just happened to be a dance prodigy. The name stood out to her earlier and she was planning on leaving a few minutes early to avoid meeting him, but that obviously didn’t work out the way Belle planned.

“Yeah well that’s obvious. I would have been more understanding if it was a more complicated move you were stuck on. Who in the world would have trouble with that move? A child?” His voice was now higher, almost as if intentionally mocking Belle who was now close to tears, though she would never let a random, rude stranger see her cry.

“The room is yours now. See you later Lee Minho.” She mumbled as she dashed to gather her things and leave. Minho’s anger from the wait had faded, and he felt a little guilty about being so harsh, but he pushed those thoughts aside to focus on the dance he needed to learn and perfect.

four: han jisung

Friendships tend to blossom due to unforeseen and unusual circumstances, at least in Belle’s case. She had also had a knack for getting into awkward situations inadvertently, which was a true chaotic neutral gift. It was a sunny summer day, and it was one that she had off, which made it all the more better. She knew there were better ways than this to spend such a precious day, but she had to go shopping for new clothes. It’s not that there was anything wrong with shopping, it just wasn’t necessarily something Belle enjoyed doing. 

She was in the middle of the mall, which was surprisingly packed for such a perfect day. She was absorbed in the atmosphere; the soft glow of the store signs in contrast to the rather harsh fluorescent overhead lights was suddenly the most interesting aesthetic to the eclectic girl.

While being so wrapped up in the scenery, she bumped into someone headfirst with such force she fell to the ground. 

“Oh my gosh,” the other party in the collision, a boy close to Belle’s age, whispered as he took in the events that just transpired. “I am so so sorry- I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going.”

“It’s okay! No harm done- plus I was kinda lost in thought so it was partially my fault too. Sorry, by the way.” Belle was borderline rambling as she too took in what just happened; it was so sudden and it happened so quickly that her mind still had not quite wrapped around the entire tumble-incident. Plus, after looking at the boy she knew that he looked familiar, but she just didn’t know how.

“It happens. I’m just glad it was with you instead of some mean old lady.” He laughs softly as he tries to keep the conversation flowing smoothly. Belle laughed along, but gasped shortly after once she connected from where she knew his face.

“You’re a trainee at JYP too, aren’t you?” His face morphs into one of shock, then his face breaks out into one of the brightest smiles Belle had ever seen. 

“I am! I knew that I knew you from somewhere!”

“Same here! It was bugging me ever since I saw you.” They both chucked at the experience the two had unknowingly shared. “I’m Belle, it’s nice to meet you!”

“I’m Jisung, it’s nice to meet you as well.”

“Since I kinda inconvenienced you, could I interest you in some food? I can pay and we can bond over the wondrous trainee life.”

“If you think I am going to let you pay for all of it, you have something else coming.”

“Alright, it’s on.” A competitive grin was shared between the two of them, and before Jisung had time to react, she was dragging him away, presumably to a restaurant.There was something about him and the chemistry that sparked Belle’s interest. She had a feeling that this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

five: seo changbin

It had been a month or so since Belle had met Jisung, and it was safe to say that both her and Jeongin were never bored. Belle had discovered that the two knew each other, which led to group hangouts and shenanigans, which always ended with smiles and laughter fresh in their minds. 

Belle was currently with Jisung in a studio, and was listening to some of the music he had produced. When Belle found out that he produced music, she was amazed. It wasn’t that she thought he couldn’t, but she just didn’t see that vibe from him. That quickly changed, as she demanded to hear some of his work, which resulted in her becoming his number one supporter and fan. 

She also discovered that he worked with two other trainees and had formed a group of sorts. Jisung had not told her the name of the group, but did tell her the stage names of the other two trainees: CB97 and SPEARB. They intrigued Belle, as she wanted to consume all Jisung’s musical endeavors and was near rabid at the thought of what he and two other producers of his skill level could produce. 

“Hey, sweet-cheeks, it is getting kinda late- shouldn’t you get to sleep?” Jisung looked over his shoulder at the girl who was still listening to the music playing in the background before she looked to her phone to see the time.

“What are you talking about Ji? It’s still pretty early.”

“I’m not sure if eleven at night qualifies as early, but I just want you to be well rested.” Belle’s eyebrows furrow as she takes in her friend’s strange behavior.

“You’re trying to kick me out, oh my god.” Jisung’s eyes widen in shock as he frantically scrambles to get rid of the accusations.

“No no no no, I just- it was- ugh,” he takes a breath to gather his thoughts, “It was supposed to be a secret, but the guys from the group are coming soon and I didn’t know if you wanted to stay for that, or if you would be comfortable, or if it would be too weird, or-”

“Ji, calm down, okay? I can leave if you want me to with no problem, but I wouldn’t mind staying as long as it is okay with you.”

“I mean, I wasn’t sure but-” Jisung was cut off by the door squeaking open to reveal Bang Chan. Belle had not spoken to Chan too often, of course she checked up on him as much as possible, but with the life of a trainee there was not much time to spare.

“Oh, is this a bad time? I am a bit early.” Chan looked to Belle and Jisung with a bit of confusion before Jisung started explaining.

“No, come on in. This is Belle- I invited her to stay for the session.”

“We met a while ago. You better be getting enough sleep mister.” Belle looked to the man in mock anger causing Chan to laugh.

“I have been. You better be getting enough sleep too.”

“She hasn’t. She stays up to annoy the living shit out of me.” Jisung interjects, and Belle gasps in faux dismay.

“Oh, you know you love me.” She laughs as she pokes his side through an opening on the chair he was still situated in.

“I would, or else I would have slapped you weeks ago.”

“You still haven’t told me the name of this whole group yet! I wouldn’t call that love.” Belle’s teasing was cut short when Chan laughed.

“You brought her to a brainstorming session and she doesn’t even know the name of our group?” Chan’s voice was teasing, which caused a faint wash of red to spear on the younger’s cheeks.

“Yes! He is so mean to me. What is y’all’s name by the way.” Belle looked to Chan with pure curiosity glistening in her brown eyes.

“3RACHA. I’m assuming he didn’t tell you who was in it either?” Belle shook her head and Chan laughed once again, causing the blush on Jisung’s face to darken ever so slightly. “CB97, SPEARB, and J.ONE are our stage names. I’m CB97, for obvious reasons, Jisung is J.ONE, and Changbin is SPEARB.”

“Changbin?” 

“You haven’t met him yet?”

“Not yet, no.”

“You will soon- he should be here any minute. He’s cool though, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, he has to be cool to hang with us.” Jisung piped up, making Belle and Chan laugh.

“You cried when you saw a baby bird last week, I wouldn’t classify that as cool, my dude.” Chan laughed at the memory as he recalled the teary eyed boy looking into the sparrow’s nest on the sidewalk.

“And you screamed when you saw a spider yesterday.” Belle added with tears now forming in her eyes from the hilarious memory and new information combined.

“Yah! Stop ganging up on me! This is no fun!” Jisung whined as he hid his face behind his arms.

“What are you fussing about this time, Jisung?” A new voice called out as it entered the room. It belonged to a boy that Belle assumed to be Changbin. He stopped in his tracks once he saw the new face in the room, as he wasn’t expecting anyone other than the boys.

“Changbin! Finally! This is Belle, she is a good friend of mine and is going to stay and watch the coolest people she knows work on some music.” Jisung’s head perked up the moment he heard Changbin’s voice and he said the entirety of his quick introduction with a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Changbin.” Belle shot a smile to the boy, who was looking towards her with a similar smile as well.

“Nice to meet you too, Belle. Also I am sorry about Jisung in advance.”

“Hey! I am a joy!” Jisung adamantly defends his name.

Without missing a beat, Belle replied: “To get rid of.” making the other two boys cackle and Jisung look shocked.

“I’m so hurt.” Jisung put a hand over his heart and let out a fake sniffle or two.

“Awh Jisungie~” Changbin cooes 

“Nevermind- go away.” Changbin’s resolve doesn’t budge and he continues to coo at the poor boy. Belle hadn’t even heard any of their music yet, but she was already having a wonderful time with the boys. She knew she would love the music, and probably be a repeat visitor for 3RACHA’s meetings, if they allowed it.

six: kim seungmin

Vocals were a weak point for Belle. She loved to sing and to create a story using only her voice, but she was always told she was lacking at it. She took every aspect of her training unbelievably seriously, but she knew she had to improve her vocal ability, meaning she squeezed every ounce of soul she had into her vocal lessons. She also, like with her dance lessons, tended to stay after to work on some key points solo. This was a good way for her to clear her mind and not focus on anything else except improvement. 

One particular day, she was beaten down by her vocal instructor. The song that was selected for her was written in a rather high key. This was to challenge her and test her limits, as well as see how far she had come. Belle’s natural vocal register was rather low. There was nothing wrong with it, but there was pressure to conform to traditional idol standards of having a high register, as a female idol. The pressure was mainly from her vocal coach, but there was a desire within Belle to succeed and be able to do the standard in K-Pop. 

She was in the room designated for vocal coaching after hours, and was staring blankly at the sheet of music before her. Nearly half the notes seemed out of reach no matter how she tried and strained her voice. She was frustrated, yes, but she knew she needed to succeed. She glanced at her phone to see a text from Jeongin, which only fueled her resolve to be the best.

Jeongin: You got this! I hope you get some sleep soon… call me if you need anything

She sent a quick thank you message back and resumed her practice.

After a few more attempts at the piece with the same results, she heard a light knock on the door. She cracked it open to see a boy standing there with a few small chip bags in his hands.

“Hi?” Belle timidly said to the stranger.

“Hey, I know this is sudden, but the vending machine gave me some extras by accident, and I heard you in here and wanted to know if you wanted some.” The boy was obviously nervous by asking, but Belle found it endearing, and very generous to be willing to give a stranger late-night snacks.

“I would love some! Thank you for offering. What do you have?” After being shown his limited selection, Belle makes her choice and thanks him once again.

“What are you doing here so late at night anyways?” The girl questions the boy, who has grown more comfortable in her presence.

“I’m working on a song, and I just couldn’t get it how I want. I just finished, thankfully, but I guess  kinda lost track of time while I was singing.” The boy says, bringing his hand to the nape of his neck in unease just thinking about the sheer amount of time he spent rehearsing.

“I feel you on that. I have been trying to sing this damn song for hours, but I’m just not getting it.” Belle muttered in exasperation. The boy looked at the sheet music Belle was glaring at and let out a small noise of indignation.

“You have to sing that? You seem to have a lower register based on how you talk…” he trailed off in thought. “I could try to help if you want?”

“Oh no, I couldn’t ask you to do that. You already got me snacks and you were ready to go home.” Belle looked at the boy as if he had grown three heads for offering to help her. 

“Nonsense, it is practically my duty to help you. Now, what is your name?”

“Belle. Your’s?”

“Seungmin. Now, let’s hear what you have so far.” Seungmin analyzes Belle’s posture, oral movements, vocal technique, and the sheet music as she sings. It is almost scary how he switched from a pleasant and easy-going teenager to a almost professional artist within the span of seconds- and he is only a trainee! 

After Belle had finished, she looked to Seungmin who looked deep in thought. “Your technique is the only thing that needs work. I’m surprised your vocal coach didn’t tell you about this. You seem to be reaching and straining for the higher notes while still in your chest voice. Try putting a bit less pressure on your diaphram and focusing the epicenter of your voice further up and closer to your head rather than your chest.” Belle took in every word Seungmin said like it was the very oxygen she needed to breathe. “Now, take that and try it again. You’ve got this. I believe in you.”

She shot him a smile at his encouraging words, took in a deep breath, and began the song once again. The notes that moments ago seemed so out of reach were now attainable. The song flowed with such a grace that Belle herself wasn’t aware she could produce. Of course, it was not perfect, but it was so much better that Belle was teary-eyed by the end of it.

“Holy shit.” She breathed out once she had completed the song.

“Holy shit indeed.” Seungmin said with a cocky smile adorning his lips. “Again!”

seven: kim woojin

Trainee life is never easy. Everyone who knows about K-Pop knows this fact. Trainees are usually so busy and wrapped up in the monthly activities and weekly classes that they have little time to contemplate this during their actual training period. There are times when a trainee just stops the grueling activities they willingly partake in catch up with them, and they are forced to face the questions and concerns of reality. Of course this has happened to Belle, honestly more times than the girl is willing to admit. She usually finds comfort in those she is close to. However, one special day, she gets to be the calm and anchor for another.

A group dance practice had just ended. It consisted of about ten trainees and a dance coach that was instructing them on how to properly dance to GOT7’s song “Never Ever”. The class ended and Belle was gathering her belongings when she noticed a fellow trainee sitting next to his things idly. This was a red flag, as no trainee usually wasted time doing nothing; they always tried to cram their social and family lives in when they were not enduring the training. The second red flag was the crestfallen look that graced his face. He looked hurt, confused, and heart-broken. 

Belle contemplated not going over to the boy, but her hesitation flew out the window when his eyes became more teary by the second. By this point, it was just the two in the practice room. Everyone else had gone about their day to do what had to be done; these two seemed stuck in a moment that never ended.

Belle walked over to the boy. She recognized him: Kim Woojin. Belle thought him to be an amazing vocalist and she believed him to be kind, though the two had never properly met. She knelt down before the boy, “Hey, are you okay?” He looked up, startled by the sudden voice, and the sight almost broke Belle’s heart. His eyes were teary- it was obvious he was doing his best to not break down completely. 

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet and wavering. Belle frowned at his answer.

“Are you sure? I know we don’t know each other, but that could make me a good person to vent to. You don’t have to, but the offer stands if you need it.” A moment of silence passes the two and then he breaks.

“What if I’m not good enough?” His question hit home for Belle. Every trainee struggled with this, and it has caused many talented individuals to quit out of fear of rejection. “What if I am wasting this amazing period of my life for a dream that I can never attain?” Woojin lets a single tear trail down his cheek before hurriedly wiping it away. Another moment of comfortable silence passed and Woojin found solstace in another person being with him and not judging him during this vulnerable moment. 

“I know we’re strangers, but your talent is indescribable. If anyone is good enough, it is you.” Belle’s kind and true words strike a chord with Woojin. He looked to the girl and gave her a smile full of appreciation and hope.

“Thank you.”

eight: hwang hyunjin

Another month arrived and another monthly evaluation was assigned. This month was special, as it was an opportunity to show a different side of the dance-focused trainees; there was a mandatory duet opportunity that would replace the normal evaluation. Partners were assigned based on skill level, and each pair was given a genre of dance. 

When Belle was called in to meet her partner, she was immediately met with disappointment. Hwang Hyunjin was her partner. Belle knew he was talented, and everyone knew he was attractive, but there was a personal issue here. Hyunjin and Jisung were well known enemies. No one knows exactly how the feud began, but Belle was adamant about siding with and supporting her friend. 

After gaining the needed information, the two left and only spoke to exchange details of where and when to meet in order to practice. The time to do so came far too quickly for Belle’s liking, and she found herself sitting a few feet from the man while browsing their phones to find a song that fit their dance theme. The theme was hip-hop, yet every song seemed to only appeal to one of the duo.

“Can we please just agree on a song?” Hyunjin pleaded with Belle after fifteen minutes of constant back-and-forth over song suggestions.

“Suggest something decent then.” Belle knew she was being sassy, maybe borderline bitchy, but based on how he had treated Jisung, this was what she deemed best. Hyunjin groaned in frustration, and went back to searching his phone.

After a few more song titles were thrown around, he finally had had enough. “Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t necessarily hate you, but you are rude to a close friend of mine.”

“That’s no reason to be this mean.”

“I believe it is the perfect reason to do so.”

“You’re so goddamn infuriating!”

“Ditto.” The rest of the day progressed similarly; nothing got accomplished with the two bickering. 

The next day, they saw that in order to survive the trainee lifestyle, they had to work together. While not happy about it, they did what they had to do. They picked a song within five minutes and began choreographing soon thereafter. 

As the days went on, they found that they were not dreading the other’s company. It was a strange shift that both recognized, yet did not speak of. It was refreshing to have another friend at the company for both Belle and Hyunjin. Belle realized that she didn’t have to partake in her friend’s anger towards the boy, which changed her entire attitude towards the boy. She saw him through her own lens, not through anyone else’s.

“Okay, so how about we do a freestyle part of the dance? We could each show off our more personal and technical dance moves.” Belle suggested one day at practice. 

“I think it could work. The other person could be a bit in the back like a hype man, y’know?”

“That would be cool. Having Hwang Hyunjin as my hype man.”

“I already am, you idiot.” He gave Belle a playful shove and they continued on rehearsing.

The day to perform for the monthly evaluation panel came too soon for the duo’s liking. They were both confident in their choreography and each other, but the perfectionist side of them craved more time to practice.

They entered the room and nodded towards each other before taking their places to begin the dance. The music began and it seemed like the rest of the room faded away, leaving only the two of them. The teamwork they inadvertently built up showed and they moved as one entity. Their emotions poured from the dance almost as if they were expressing it through a heartfelt speech, not just through movement. 

They ended the dance and bowed to the judges before exiting.

“How do you think we did?” Belle asked Hyunjin, her nerves were evident in her voice.

“I think we killed it. How about I take the best dance partner out for a celebratory meal after we get our scores.” Belle laughs at his boldness. 

“That sounds like a plan, partner.” Belle’s mind was in awe over the fact that someone she once disliked could become a friend, and that the past could be pushed aside to succeed and gain companionship.

“Stop calling me partner. You sound like a cowgirl, idiot.”

nine: lee felix

Mornings at JYP always seemed intense. Dozens of interns and managers were bustling around prepping for an eventful day, artists were emerging and beginning their daily routines, producers and executives roamed the halls at random, and hand-fulls of trainees were scampering around trying to navigate the seemingly moving walls of the company. To put it lightly, it had great potential to be overwhelming. 

Belle had become immune to the chaos of the hallways but always did her best to avoid busiest ones. It wasn’t a matter of if she could handle it, but rather an issue of could the hallways handle her. Yet one day, she had to go down the main passageway and face the hoards of people running and passing her. It was annoying and a nuisance to the girl. 

She was almost to the end when she saw a boy pushed against the wall looking up and down the long hallway with a perplexed look on his face. This wasn’t an uncommon sight, but there was something about his kid that made her want to help. Maybe it was the innocence in his eyes, or the soft presece he exuded, but she made her way over to him.

“Hey, are you okay? You look a little overwhelmed.” She had a small smile on her face, as to not scare him off, but the poor boy still looked intimidated.

“I’m looking for practice room 204.” His voice was shaky, yet he was trying to play it off. His Korean was a bit broken, yet understandable.

“I can help. Is there another language you want to converse in?”

“English?”

“Ok! Hi, my name is Belle.”

“I’m Felix.” His accent when speaking English was a shock to Belle; she believed it to be Australian.

“Nice to meet you! And sorry that this hallway is such a bear. It gets better eventually, I promise.”On the walk to the practice room, the two continued talking. Belle discovered Felix was rather quiet, but when he spoke it was well-worth listening. Though she had only spoken to the boy for a few minutes, she was already quite fond of him. The rest of the hallways seemed to quiet down and almost disappear as they focused on the other in an attempt to block it out.

“There’s actually another trainee here that is from Australia. I could introduce you two if you would like.” Belle offered, and the boy’s face lit up.

“That would be great! And thank you so much for the help.”

“It’s no problem. I got to meet you, and that is all the thanks I need.”

[alounuitte]

cactus blossoms

(or, some can only bloom with water from the desert sky)

Adam needs some support while he recovers from a surgery, and Shiro volunteers to be his best friend's roommate for the summer after their first year in the Garrison. Somehow, it turns out he's not the only one Adam gets a chance to get closer to, and an operation isn't the only thing he's recovering from. (pre-relationship, but no romance will be in this.) [Updates Wednesdays!]

chapter 9.

(chapter warnings: medical drugs throughout and brief emeto warning towards the end.)

--

Shiro frowns and checks his phone again, kicking his foot anxiously against the edge of his chair, and sighs when he sees no new messages. He’d expected a text sooner than this, but he’s determined not to worry too much until it’s been at least an hour. Probably nothing’s actually wrong, just a minor delay.

As he goes to put his phone away, the intercom clicks on, and a woman’s voice on the speaker says politely, “Commander Montgomery to infirmary, please, Commander Montgomery please report to the infirmary.”

His heart jumps into his throat, and in a second he’s on his feet, running down the hall towards the medical wing. Since Montgomery’s name is on Adam’s medical assistance form, technically she’s the one responsible for him right now, and that means the call is probably about him. He knows he’s not going to be allowed to see Adam if something’s actually wrong, but he wants to be there to find out what’s going on as soon as Montgomery knows.

“What’s going on?” he asks as soon as he gets to the waiting room and sees Montgomery standing by the counter. “Is he okay?”

To his relief, she laughs, and gestures with her head to the back row of seats. “See for yourself,” she says.

He looks over and sees, on second glance, that Adam is there already, sprawled awkwardly on his back across three seats and apparently asleep. Shiro bites his tongue to keep from laughing too. “What, they give him too much anaesthetic?” he asks.

“Apparently he got fighty when he woke up,” she says. “They had to give him another shot of anxiolytic to calm him down, so he might be pretty out of it for a bit.”

Shiro crosses the room to crouch down in front of him, grinning as he pulls his phone out to film. “Hey, man,” he says. “You up?”

“Why’re you yelling…?” Adam asks, cracking one eye open. “‘m right here.”

“Sorry,” Shiro says, more quietly, though he hadn’t really been speaking all that loudly. “You comfortable there?”

“Mm…” Adam muses, frowning. “No, this is terrible.”

“Yeah, these chairs aren’t really meant for laying down,” Shiro agrees, fighting not to laugh as he turns his phone camera to show the row of hard seats. “You wanna get up and go back upstairs?”

“That sounds like a lot of work,” Adam complains. “Mm…’na...just...sleep on the couch.”

Shiro can’t help snorting at that, as much as he’s trying not to lose his composure. “What couch, buddy?” he asks. “You gotta get back to our quarters for that.”

“No,” Adam says, looking sullen.

“Sorry,” he says, shrugging. “What do you think about some lunch?”

That makes Adam sit up, though he sways as soon as he does, his eyes unfocusing for a second. “I haven’t eaten in…” he says, and trails off, thinking hard. “Four… days.”

“Don’t think that’s right,” Shiro tells him, standing and offering a hand to help him up. “But it’s been a bit. Let’s get some food in you to offset the drugs, huh?”

“Oh, they gave me a lot of drugs,” Adam says, stumbling as he gets to his feet. “So… so many drugs. I think… seven...teen.” Shiro shakes his head, flipping to the front camera to film them both as Adam leans on his shoulder.

“I’m gonna let you handle him,” Montgomery says dryly, straightening her glasses. “Seems like you’ve got the situation under control.”

“Situation normal, Commander,” Adam assures her, and clumsily tries to salute, which makes him overbalance and fall into Shiro’s side. “Whoa, shit, not normal, we’re en...countering some, uh, some… weather.”

Shiro quickly switches to film her as she covers her mouth with one hand and closes her eyes in an excellent attempt to hide her amusement. “Very good, Cadet,” she says. “Shirogane, get him something to eat and get him to bed. I’ll send you the post-surgical notes to look over while he sleeps.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says, grinning, and turns the camera back on himself and Adam. “Come on, let’s go,” he adds as he guides Adam out of the waiting room. “Any idea what you want for lunch?”

“Hm,” Adam hums, frowning, but doesn’t offer any actual answer.

“There’s leftover pizza still,” he offers. “Or cafeteria has, uh, chicken today, I think, or soup.”

“Too early for soup,” Adam says, shaking his head. It’s nearly noon, but Shiro decides he’s not likely to get anywhere by pointing that out. “I want...um…” Adam continues, staring hard at his hand as he slowly runs his thumb across his fingertips. “Pan...cakes. Eggs and pancakes.”

“Yeah, well, I can’t make either of those,” Shiro tells him, “and the cafeteria stopped serving breakfast three hours ago.”

“I can make them,” Adam says. “I’m a good cook, gonna make pancakes and… eggs. Toast. Eggs and toast. And pancakes.”

“Mm, no, you’re not gonna make anything right now,” Shiro says, trying to hide his smile. “You’re still doped up, remember?”

“But,” Adam protests, a whine creeping into his voice.

“I can get you frozen waffles?” Shiro suggests. “That’s sort of like pancakes.”

“Waffles are nothing like pancakes,” he argues. “They… they’re…” He falters, stops walking as he tries to figure out the difference. Shiro turns towards him to film his expression as he finally manages to explain,  “They’ve got...squares.”

Shiro has to take a few seconds to compose himself before he can speak without laughing. “Uh, yeah, that’s pretty much the thing that makes them different,” he agrees. “But they’re made of the same stuff, and they taste just as good.”

“I guess,” Adam says.

“Tell you what,” Shiro says. “I’ll get you frozen waffles and a smoothie from the smoothie machine.”

“Fuck, yes, I want orange juice,” Adam says, his eyes lighting up, and despite his best intentions, Shiro really can’t help laughing out loud at that.

They stop at the commissary snack shop on the way back to their quarters to get Adam breakfast, and Shiro shakes his head, grinning, as he watches Adam wander around the shop in a daze while they wait for the smoothie machine. His hands hover in front of him, fidgeting aimlessly, his fingers curling and uncurling as he examines the cooler with a kind of bewildered intensity.

“Whatcha looking at?” Shiro asks, zooming the camera in on his pensive expression.

“There’s so many fruits in here,” Adam replies, looking over at him with a frown.

Shiro laughs. “What are you doing, counting them?”

“No, they’re all… all different… in different…” Adam tries to explain, gesturing vaguely with one hand while the other tugs at the zipper of his hoodie. “There’s not the same, pineapples and grapes and… and… what are they called? They’ve got all different numbers of all the fruits.”

The smoothie machine whirs to a stop and Shiro grabs the cup when the door opens, still filming with one hand. “You want your smoothie?” he asks, snapping the lid on.

“For me?” Adam asks as he comes over with it. “What kind?”

“You said you wanted orange,” he says. “Did you forget because you were trying to count the fruit in the fruit cups?”

“Yeah, I want…” Adam says. “Uh, I want a fruit… this one, it’s got...milk in it.”

It’s a parfait cup and has yogurt in it, which Shiro makes sure to get a close-up of on his phone. “You want that instead of waffles?” he asks.

“I want… I don’t like waffles,” Adam says. “I wanna… put it on them.”

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “You’re gonna put the parfait on your waffles?”

“Yeah,” Adam says, nodding.

“Alright, whatever you say,” Shiro agrees, shaking his head. “Here, I’ll take that, you drink some of this smoothie, okay?”

“You’re giving it to me?” Adam asks again, and grins. “Oh, that’s… that’s really nice of you, thanks. Thank you.”

“No problem?” Shiro offers, putting a hand on Adam’s shoulder and guiding him to the counter so he can pay.

They take the elevator up to the officers’ quarters, Adam clutching his cup in both hands as he quietly sips his smoothie. “Hey, Shiro,” he says as they reach the door. “You’re a really great friend, you know that?”

“Don’t get all sappy on me,” Shiro teases, grinning. “You know I have you on camera.”

He laughs, covering his eyes with one hand as he takes another sip of his smoothie.

“You sit down,” Shiro tells him. “I’ll throw some of your waffles in the toaster.”

“Okay,” Adam agrees, and sits down. “It’s fucking cold in here, though.”

It’s really not, Shiro is pretty sure, since he’s perfectly comfortable in a t-shirt compared to Adam’s hoodie, but then, he’s not the one drinking a smoothie. “You want a blanket or something?” he offers.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmyeah,” Adam decides after a moment, and wraps one arm around himself while he sips his smoothie.

Shiro nods and goes to get one from his bed, bringing it over along with the parfait cup and a spoon. “Waffles will still be a minute, but if you wanna eat that while you wait go ahead,” he says, leaning against the counter to wait.

The idea of eating the parfait with a spoon seems like it’s a hard one to grasp, because Adam picks up both and sets them down again a moment later, looking confused. Shiro tries not to laugh again as he pulls up his camera to take some more video, watching him examine the parfait cup carefully. By the time the waffles are ready, he’s only managed a few bites and still doesn’t seem to have quite figured it out, so Shiro decides he better not complicate things further with more silverware, and brings them out with just a plate and a napkin.

“You need a hand with that?” he asks after a moment as Adam fumbles to scoop yogurt and strawberries onto his waffles.

“I got it,” Adam says. “I think the smoothie’s helping, my head’s not so… not so… like the drugs aren’t...in there. The smoothie’s, um… absorbing them, so now they’re in… the smoothie, in my… stomach…”

He puts his spoon down, frowning, one hand pulling absently at his sweatshirt. Shiro raises an eyebrow and sets his phone down on the counter. “Are you gonna puke?” he asks, already moving to help him up.

“Mmm,” Adam hums, thinking. “Maybe.”

“Alright, come on,” Shiro tells him, pulling him to his feet and leading him over to the sink. He sways on his feet, leaning heavily against the counter. Barely a moment later, he hiccups and slumps forward to vomit smoothie and chunks of strawberries into the bottom of the sink. Shiro winces.

“Sorry,” he says thickly, lifting his head.

“You’re fine,” Shiro says, turning on the tap and offering him a napkin to wipe his mouth. “You want some water?”

“Wanna go to bed,” Adam mumbles, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Okay,” Shiro agrees, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it halfway. “Rinse your mouth first, you don’t have to drink any if you don’t want.”

Adam nods and takes the glass, spitting out his first mouthful into the sink before drinking the rest. “Tired,” he manages. “‘M gonna sleep.”

“Yeah, let’s get you to bed,” Shiro says, putting an arm around his shoulders to guide him to his part of their partitioned quarters. “I’ll put your food away for later, alright?”

He nods. “Too much drugs,” he mumbles, collapsing into bed and struggling briefly to get under the comforter. “Night, Shiro.”

“Night, Adam,” Shiro tells him, amused, and waits a few moments by the edge of the partition until he’s asleep, before retreating to the living room to read up on the paperwork Montgomery sent. 

[todisturbtheuniverse]

FIC: Liminal Grief [1/3]

Rating: T Fandom: Stardew Valley Pairing: Shane/Female Farmer Tags: Pre-Relationship, Developing Friendship, Grief, Alcoholism, Depression Word Count: 10,613 (total) Summary: The new farmer has a level of equal-opportunity-friendliness that reminds Shane of an old friend, but when the mask comes off, it's more like looking in a mirror. Also on AO3. Notes: Very much based in the game, but littered with my own headcanons, both for this particular farmer and for Shane. Like other stories in this series, this could be considered standalone, but follows the same farmer (named Lydia) and the same Shane, and shares continuity with those other works.

It had taken a while—most of the spring, actually—but Lydia had finally fallen into a routine.

The routine involved sticking to the farm, mostly. It needed a lot of work—a lot of work she didn't know how to do. She spent her days trying to replicate the tips she'd unearthed in Granddad's old books, his journals on the seasons and crops, and her nights sleeping more soundly than she'd slept in her whole life.

It was hard work. Scary work. Every time she took hold of a weed, she prayed she wasn't about to pull up one of the precious crops she'd spent her dwindling money on. But she was getting through it.

And when she'd done all she could do for the day, there was always the distraction of town.

Thinking of Pelican Town's square that way—town, because the farm was technically in some kind of rural unincorporated area—always made her feel a little like some Austenian heroine, donning her gloves and coiffing her hair to visit civilization. In reality, the best she could muster was a shower before the long, dusty walk, but she'd always liked stories. Something she'd had in common with Granddad.

And this story was full of characters: the downtrodden but enduring mayor, the rebellious daughter of the local grocer, the hardworking big-city doctor, the gregarious saloon-owner…

As the days passed, and she made an effort to greet everyone with cheer, she got more and more back: brief small talk peppered into her days, friendly waves, smiles losing their wariness.

Well. From some people, at least. The runner-up town drunk sure hadn't taken to her friendliness so far.

Interactions with Shane followed, more or less, the same pattern as the first. She offered a pleasantry. He found a way to reject it.

When she crossed paths with him again at the bar on a Friday night: "Hey, Shane. How's it going?"

And in return: "Why are you bothering me." With his inflection, it sounded more like a complaint than a question. "I want to be alone."

On a Tuesday as she stood outside Pierre's, when Shane passed by on his way to JojaMart: "Nice day, isn't it?"

It would have been easy enough for him to agree and keep power-walking on by, but instead he said, "No, I don't have time to chat with you." Like she'd asked him to reflect in detail on the most recent Queen of Sauce episode.

But these were downright polite interactions compared to last week's, when she'd been fishing at the river south of the ranch, well after sundown. She'd spotted him walking home, weaving slightly on the beat-down dirt path, catching himself every few steps as if gravity was making its best effort against him.

"Hey," she called out, ignoring the tugging on her line, "are you okay?"

"What do you want from me?" he demanded, his whole body swinging around so that his red-rimmed eyes could glare at her. Once they'd managed to focus, anyway. "Money? I'd give you a pot of gold to leave me alone!"

"I could use a pot of gold, actually," she began, but he was already in motion again, stomping up the path to the ranch house and slamming the door behind him.

She certainly didn't need to keep putting herself out there. There were plenty of other people who were already nice enough to her, going on friendly, even: Gus and Emily, who were always excited when she brought in one of her crops for them to experiment with; Abigail, who came up with imaginative renovations for the farm Lydia now inhabited; Harvey, who was a bit distant but earnest.

But she'd seen the paths that Shane beat through Pelican Town. To JojaMart, hunched into his sweatshirt, scowling; to the saloon, no longer glowering but run down; to the ranch at the end of the night, a slow and meandering walk, like he already dreaded doing it all over again. She recognized the patterns. She hadn't been a shelf-stocker, but she knew a kindred soul. Another person caught on the conveyor belt of the corporate machine.

That was probably her dramatics again. Her character-profiling. Maybe Shane was just a grouch, happy to scare off anyone every opportunity he got. But on the off chance that that wasn't the case…

She wasn't going to stop saying hello just because he glared at her for it. Just in case.

On a Saturday night, as spring began to wilt beneath the pressure of summer, she donned her metaphorical white gloves and committed to a night at the saloon. She'd tried to keep working after sundown a few days this past week, but she still just didn't have the stamina for it; she felt like one of those limp weeds she kept tearing out of her land.

A drink was just what she needed. A drink, and maybe some food. Her stomach rumbled despite the meal she'd eaten at mid-afternoon; the smell inside the Stardrop was greasy, and cheesy, and tomato-y, and she drifted toward the counter, following the smell. Gus was busy chatting with Pam, but Emily noticed her right away and came over with a smile.

"Hey, Lydia!" she said. "You okay?"

Lydia blinked at the concern and picked up a nearby spoon to examine her own face. "I look that bad? I showered and everything."

Emily tipped her head to the side, narrowing her eyes slightly. "Not bad. Just tired. Your aura's a little pale."

"My aura is accurate, then." She dropped the spoon and leaned against the bar counter. "I think I'll just have a beer tonight. A fancy cocktail might knock me out."

"I won't tell Gus," Emily said in a conspiratorial tone, grabbing a glass. "We're making pizzas, if you're interested."

Pizza. The source of that divine smell. Lydia's stomach rumbled again. She'd had a favorite pizza place back in the city; it had been her last meal before she left for the valley. She wondered if the stuff Gus cooked up was any good, if he was hiding a wood fired brick oven somewhere out back.

"Hey, Shane," Emily said, just as cheerfully as she'd greeted Lydia, and Lydia realized that Shane was standing at the bar a few feet away from her. "The usual?"

"Yeah." He laid his money on the bar.

"Coming right up," Emily said, picking up a second glass.

She retreated to pour the beer, and Lydia glanced sidelong at Shane, gave a little wave. He looked even more wretched than usual, eyes hooded, five o'clock shadow thick.

She smiled like she didn't notice any of that. "Hey. Happy Friday."

He met her eyes and sighed. "Sure."

Well, it was monosyllabic, but it was an improvement. Emily returned with their beers. Shane picked his up, gave what might have been a nod in Lydia's direction, and wandered away to his usual table. During the walk, Lydia estimated that he'd already downed half the beer.

"I'm wearing him down," she said, impressed with her own prowess. 

"Well done," Emily said. Somehow, she kept the congratulatory tone of her voice from being condescending. "So, how about that pizza?"

Lydia tallied up her funds in her head. She could spare the money, probably. She shouldn't, though. If she wanted the farm to succeed, if she wanted to have plenty for the summer planting, if, if, if—

But the smell was just too overpowering. "Yeah, I think I'll have one," she said. "There a choice of toppings or anything?"

"Just the special, really. Green peppers and sausage and onions."

"Sounds perfect."

Some part of her told her to cancel the order. To take it back, keep the paltry pocket money where it belonged. She just couldn't seem to unstick her jaw to do it. She'd eaten a lot of fresh-caught fish and wild spring onions lately, and not much else; she was dying for a little variety.

She sipped her beer while she waited, people-watching. The kids swarmed in and occupied the arcade; she probably could have caught Abigail's eye and joined them, but their company seemed a little boisterous for her at the moment. They were only a few years younger than her, technically—not kids at all—but she felt out of step with their conversations. Too old, too worn out.

She snorted at her own melancholy. Give a girl a farm she didn't know how to run, and she'd turn into a mopey navel-gazer in no time.

"Fresh out of the oven," Emily said, sliding the platter of pizza across the bar. It was much, much too big for one person to consume, even a person as hungry as Lydia. "Enjoy!"

"Thanks," Lydia said, reverie broken, and surreptitiously scouted for somewhere to sit.

She'd been making inroads, definitely, but it was still an insular community. People tended to pair off, huddle up in their groups—treading the same boards they did every Saturday night. She wasn't sure where to stick a foot in the door, who wouldn't just crush it as they pulled it closed.

Her eyes landed on Shane's table. It didn't get more insular than that. Party of one. Two, maybe, if you counted the beer he was staring at. The look in his eyes suggested it might be his last.

Well, he'd been...amenable, sort of, earlier. There was an empty chair at his table. She had a bribe in the form of pizza. And if he was a jerk to her in front of the whole bar, someone else would definitely take her in. Squaring her shoulders, she made her way over.

Trying to treat this like any other night had been a mistake.

Most of the time, the Stardrop cut a sharp contrast to the bar back in the city. Rustic instead of divey, an old crowd rather than a young one, local beer instead of twenty-seven varieties on tap. And that suited Shane just fine. Remembering that bar meant remembering Patrick and Charlotte, and it was better not to remember. Better to immerse himself in scenery that couldn't get confused with memories.

Especially tonight.

Only problem was his brain, which had had it out for him for just about a year now. Isn't this the song that was playing when they told me they were getting married? it said, and, Look, that bottle Gus is keeping up on the top shelf looks like the whiskey me and Patrick split when Charlotte got pregnant, and, The new farmer girl sure reminds me of Patrick.

He wasn't drunk enough for that kind of thinking yet. Brain should've gotten the message by now. It needed to be damn near pickled before he'd go anywhere near those old memories.

And the farmer girl—yeah, maybe she had Patrick's wide-eyed friendliness, but he wasn't interested in discovering any other similarities between her and his dead best friend.

"Hey," a breezy voice said. "Can I sit here?"

Slowly, he lifted his head. Like his reluctance had summoned her, Lydia stood over his table, balancing a platter of pizza in one hand and holding her pint glass in the other.

He meant to say No. As rudely as possible. Maybe something snide along with it, like, Don't you have other people to annoy? Maybe better than that. A real zinger. Something that would send her scurrying for good. Apparently none of his other comebacks, reiterated at increasing volume whenever they crossed paths, hadn't been severe enough.

But a ghost possessed him instead, and he said, "Why?"

Like an idiot. Give this kind of person an inch, they'd take a mile. Hadn't he figured that out the first day they'd met? He knew exactly how this went.

He knew exactly how this ended.

"Empty seat." She pointed, as well as she could with her hands full. "Unless you're waiting for someone."

It was an innocent-enough assumption, but regardless, it felt like she'd stabbed him in the gut and twisted the knife. It sure felt like he was waiting. Waiting for Patrick and Charlotte to walk through that door, waiting until he knew how to parent his friends' orphaned daughter, waiting to wake up from this unfeeling nightmare…

He could lie. He could say he was waiting for someone. She couldn't have been paying enough attention to him to know the truth, and if she gave him the stink-eye later when it was clear his "company" wasn't coming, well, that didn't matter to him. Maybe it'd put an end to her niceties. Maybe it would be a good thing.

"I'll share the pizza," she offered.

He hadn't allowed himself to look at it too closely before, but now that she'd pointed it out, he could smell it. Bread, cheese, sauce...Gus had really stepped up his game recently. Nothing went better with a beer than pizza.

Well, pepper poppers, maybe, but nobody was making those around here.

"Sure," he said, before he could think better of it. Free food was worth a little inane chatter. "Whatever."

She beamed like he'd greeted her as an old friend, put her pizza down, and sat. "Thanks," she said. "I'm never going to get through this whole thing on my own."

Her timing was a little unbelievable. That she'd forgo rubbing elbows with the rest of the bar—something she did reliably—today, of all days. That she'd bring a pizza along with her. Almost like she had been the one possessed by a ghost—a ghost trying to reach him.

But that was even crazier than all the local superstition. And maybe a little part of him wanted to believe it, but the rest of him couldn't take comfort from something that wasn't true.

He picked up a slice of pizza, though. "I love this stuff," he admitted. "Thanks."

"Sure," she said. "You're doing me a favor, honestly. I don't have the energy to hang out with the kids tonight, and the oldies all want to talk about the farm." She pulled a face. "I work my ass off twelve hours a day at the place. Sometimes I'd rather not relive it all again at the end of the night."

"Hmm," he said. A nice, noncommittal syllable. He took a big bite of pizza—a good excuse not to elaborate.

"Still beats Joja," she sighed. "How is the old place, anyway? Still soul-sucking?"

He swallowed, surprised into responding. "You worked at Joja?"

"Not storefront. Desk jockey." Her nose crinkled up like she'd bitten into a particularly sour lemon. "Carpal tunnel instead of knee problems. I really suffered." He snorted, and she smiled. "Shit, I'm kind of glad to hear you didn't know. Feels like I've been the lone rider of the rumor mill for weeks. But somewhere out there, conversations are happening that are not about me."

"No," he said. "I just don't participate in conversations."

She rolled her eyes, but kept smiling. "Right. How could I forget?"

He felt sort of unsettled by her careless attitude, the same way he had when she'd shaken his hand at the bar.  Like his brusque commentary didn't put her off; like she could have a conversation with even an unwilling participant. The exact opposite of him, when it came right down to it. He couldn't tell if he was jealous or repulsed.

"They'll move on eventually," he said. Not a reassurance or commiseration, but a statement of fact.

She eyed him thoughtfully. "You'd know," she conceded. "You're new to the area, too, right?"

"Yep." He didn't elaborate. There was pizza to eat, beer to drink. Conversation to avoid.

Marnie and Jas were the only people in this town who knew exactly why he was here. He was not about to explain it to anyone else.

"You like it here?" she asked.

"Why, are you having second thoughts? Kind of late for that, isn't it?"

"No! No." She frowned, and he realized it was the first time he'd really seen her do so. "Just curious what other people from outside the valley think of it here. I want this to be long term, but…" She shrugged.

But farming isn't exactly easy or profitable? Probably a hell of a shock for someone who'd had an office job. All that sudden, manual labor. All those razor-thin profit margins. A day that didn't end promptly at 5.

"The people are busybodies," he said.

She chuckled. "I've noticed."

"This saloon is the sole source of entertainment."

"Hey, don't forget the museum. And library. Same building, but..."

"All the young people want to leave," he pushed on, ignoring her. "Or they're here on a whim, thinking the valley's gonna cure them of something."

He shot her a pointed look. She raised a single eyebrow, as if to acknowledge his point, but she didn't volunteer what that something might be for her. Fine by him.

"All the old people either feel like they're trapped here, or that it's their job to protect the place against modernization, or both."

"Ah," she said. "Explains that scene I witnessed at Pierre's the other day." She paused to take a deep drink of her beer. "So is there anything you like about the valley?"

"Not really," he said, automatic, even though it was a lie. But he wasn't about to tell her—he wasn't about to tell anyone—that he liked the way the air smelled after dusk, or that he liked the sounds the frogs made at the dock on the lake, or that he liked the way the chickens flocked to him all bright-eyed in the morning even when he was dreary-eyed himself.

There were very few things left in the world he liked, all fragile as bubbles blown by a child. If he drew attention to them, they, too, would vanish.

"I'll take it under advisement," she sighed. "I only spent summers here as a kid. It seemed magical, back then." She picked up another slice of pizza, considered it. "Still does, actually, I'm just...having a harder time believing it."

"It's not magic," he said flatly. "You just had a big imagination."

She laughed, as if she'd never learned how to take offense. "Come out to the farm sometime. There's some creature out in the woods that makes a noise like nothing I've heard anywhere else. We'll see who believes in magic then."

"Once you've seen the backroom of a JojaMart, you realize humans are incapable of magic," he muttered.

"Who said anything about humans?" she said with an exaggerated wink.

He huffed. Her absurdity was sort of funny, just the way Patrick's had been. Over-the-top, ridiculous; he would've loved that wizard guy in his tower west of the lake, or the crusty old adventurer up in the mountains with the eye patch…

But the similarities meant nothing. She wasn't Patrick. She wasn't being nudged along by his ghost. He couldn't, wouldn't, believe in that shit.

Even though she'd brought him pizza on his birthday. On the anniversary of the day they'd died.

"Well, you ever want a break from that backroom, come out to the farm," she said, serious now. "Get a look at what it's like to live free—and broke." She smiled, a little crookedly, and finished off her beer.

True to her scary sixth sense, Emily turned up right as Lydia put down her glass. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked, beaming between the two of them like she was the proud mother of a child who'd finally gotten a playdate.

He didn't exactly want to encourage that thinking, but...he didn't want to be indebted to anybody, either. Especially not somebody down to their last dollar, when he'd eaten half her pizza. He was an asshole, but he hadn't fallen quite that far.

"No thanks," Lydia began, but Shane cut across her, "One more round. Put it on my tab." He nodded at her glass. "Same thing, or you gonna make Gus mix up another one of those city-girl cocktails?"

For a moment, she looked downright surprised—startled by the offer, maybe, or finally stunned by his ability to insult people. But then she grinned, wide and sincere.

"Just the beer," she said.

"Coming right up," Emily said, and wandered away.

Lower, heartfelt, Lydia said, "thanks."

He shrugged. "Seemed like you might need it. Drown your sorrows, and all that. You want a reliable source of magic, it's at the bottom of a glass."

"Never heard that one before."

"Trust me." He knocked back the rest of his own beer. "Secret backroom wisdom."

She didn't look at him reprovingly, the way Marnie always did when he made one of these jokes; she just nodded, sagely, like she believed him completely.

He doubted it, but...it was kind of nice, feeling like someone wanted to listen to him, for once. Feeling like somebody heard him.

Things could go back to normal tomorrow.

Go to Part 2 ->