#really heartbreaking tbh

[feroluce]

Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.

Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks

Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.

And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.

So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.

He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.

Caelus doesn't have any of that.

He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.

And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.

So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-

("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")

-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.

Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.

(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)

((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."

And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.

And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.

The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))

[persnickety-doodles]

so about that companion piece… 🥲 wip

[kumakuma-circus]

not me listening to SNOWFLAKES on loop cuz it's low-key my favorite p4 song and realizing the lyrics like perfectly encompass yu's feelings about inaba and his friends and having to leave.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. UGHHHHHH. THE PAIN OF HAVING MEDIA COMPREHENSION SKILLS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[good-to-drive]

In a similar vein to the Paul and Linda question: would you say George was a good husband to Olivia?

I’m afraid I don’t know a whole lot about their relationship, unfortunately! I feel like Olivia is playing it pretty close to the vest, possibly out of respect for George’s passing, or maybe she just doesn’t like people in her business. 

I’ve outlined my thoughts on George and Pattie and why that didn't work out, but as for why things did work out for George and Liv I really can’t say. It may be a Paul and Linda situation where he continued to be a black hole of emotional need without a huge amount of regard for his partner’s needs or feelings, but he found a woman who thrived on emotional caretaking so it worked out for both of them. Or maybe George really did change as a person and they had a much happier relationship than you’d think looking at all those affairs.

The truth may lie somewhere in between. Maybe Liv, as compared to Pattie, was more in a position to be in a relationship that was “about” her partner’s needs over her own (Liv is older, their lives were more stable, etc), and George’s emotional needs were also less overwhelmingly powerful than they were when he was with Pattie (he was older, their lives were more stable, etc).

All this being said, George and Liv did genuinely seem very happy together and Liv is still so madly in love with him, so whatever arrangement they had behind the scenes must have worked for both of them. And honestly, just like with Paul and Linda, I think that's the most important thing.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

saiki is such a fucking loser when it comes to romance (and also in general shh) that no matter who it is hes trying to date, he ALWAYS waits for THEM to confess. he will NEVER be the one to confess first..

i dont think he even CONSIDERS the fact that he could confess first, even though he can read their mind and knows exactly how they feel about him.. he waits and waits for a confession and when he doesnt get it, he gets really frustrated and is like 'i guess they just arent serious about me 😒🙄' BRO YOU HAVENT CONFESSED EITHER ?? YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITIES TO DO IT TOO WHY ARE YOU A HYPOCRITE ??

[mortiscausa]

it does make you wonder at the point of sharing art sometimes if it's just gonna be fed into a machine by some thoughtless fucking ai bro

[worstloki]

friends to enemies is fine but friend group to enemies holds so much more potential for comedy. everyone is chill and still gets along fine. except for Todd who defected and is now our arch nemesis. yeah like he totally just went off on his own and founded a cult. barely changed his aesthetic too and now all he talks about is the corruption in the system and how we're free to join him when we've had enough of it ourselves.

[ut-acttoflirt]

Hello! I love your game and I've played through it a few times already, but I am in need of help my friend. I cannot find what song is playing during Sans's secret date and when we talk to him in heartbreak route. I'm going through every song on credits and I can't find it! If you could drop a name of it, my heart, soul and life is yours. 🙏

It's one I made myself actually! (With assist of a MIDI file because I'm very inexperienced with music as a medium.) It's a more chill cover of Tears in the Rain by Drop0ff.

You can find the song I made on my youtube (zirkkun) here!

[mad-hunts]

i like how barton went from being like... a hippie in terms of how he viewed sex in his early twenties, then kind of abstained from it for a few years / became sexually repressed, which... definitely isn't such a good thing. BUT then he became even more of a freak (and i do mean that in the good way this time LOL) around the time he started residency because WOW is that shit stressful. though that was also unfortunately around the time when he really started to spiral as well 😬 but we don't need to talk about that ahahhh

like the way this man learned how to express his sexuality REALLY came full circle in the end considering he was like 'yeah, back in the early days that i was in college, i was a freak. but now i'm not anymore... though do you want to see me do it again anyway?' like 💀 JSJSJ if he weren't so demented, i'd almost be inclined to say good for him, y'all LMAO feeling comfortable with your sexuality and perhaps even having a bit of fun with it (though maybe too much in barton's case, because he literally weaponizes it in order to lure in his victims. BUT once again, we don't need to talk about that right now psshhh. i actually fully intend on talking about that in the tags NGL) is more often than not a good thing after all

[dipplinduo]

me when kieran brings food for juliana: 💝❤️📈✨🌻🌅🫶

me the second briar touches him and the thoughts come back: 👿👿📉💀🌃😒

WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN LOOOOOL

[deus-ex-mona]

goodxnight guys~~~

[the-lark-ascending69]

Lumity is very cute but it seems like the kind of ship that would have a fandom so toxic it'd make you dislike the ship in time and I think that's sad.

[megah3rz]

while i find it very doubtful that gen would've taken 7 years to revive senku and it continues to irk me a bit with every post, i am very much enjoying this influx of long haired gen art. i love u all for that

[hershey-not-the-chocolate-maybe]

i have two moods :😔 crippling depression and anxiety making it hard to stay alive 😔

and ✨️pop icon in the bathroom✨️

[thedreadvampy]

I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?

like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life

[perceptivehands]

In all the years of "participating" in fandom I never really had to defend my ships (until now) and I think that made me realize that my ass it too sensitive for fandom...

and that I can't cope with losses... at all