#really happening rn?? who tf is this kid???? who are any of these people wtf???' also what if some of the crew also saw Rayla fight in that
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wolfwarrior142 · 2 years ago
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I bet the person above me is rightfully feeling proud of this comment at this moment.
"Callum is the first human in recorded history to use primal magic without a conduit."
Can we just talk about this real quick?
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Before Callum, all of this was thought to be impossible. Humans just couldn't do magic without the use of a primal stone or, in the case of dark magic, a sacrifice. The Earth is round, the grass is green, and humans aren't capable of this☝️
And remember Callum has a photographic memory. Some of the spells above he learned earlier in the same episode or even on the spot.
We're so used to it at this point but it's not normal.
Not to mention not only did he successfully perform his first dark magic spell, he walked away corruption free and still more powerful.
Shit if I was Aaravos I'd want him on my side, too.
Fucking hell
#like yeah#you could say thats important in s5#just maybe#also i sure as shit havent forgotten about how cool this is i LOVE it so much when someone is like 'lol youre human you cant do primal magic#only dark magic' and callum i immediately like 'LOL BITCH FUCKIN BET' god thats always so fuckin good to see i love it#my favorite is how annoyed and petty callum looks when he casts fulminas in front of Ibas. its so fucking funny#second fave is in good ol s5ep8 when not only did finnegrin not really believe that callum can do primal magic he was shown that callum can#naturally do sky magic (via the redirected fluminas spell) and WATCHED him gain the ocean primal right before his eyes#like i bet everyone on the ship's crew were SO stunned#like this fuckin kid not only went feral on Finnegrin of all people and literally decked him but he also can use sky magic AND learned the#ocean arcanum. all in front of their eyes. they were probably like 'wait hold on am i somehow high on a drug and not aware of it or is this#really happening rn?? who tf is this kid???? who are any of these people wtf???' also what if some of the crew also saw Rayla fight in that#pit and recognized her and were like 'oh its that girl' 'oh wow shes balsy..and maybe in a relationship with this human? whos going off holy#shit goddamn no wonder theyre together they have some massive guts and are super stubborn my god'#and then theres ez and soren seeing rayla and callum going off to protect each other and theyre probably like 'yeah this is the most feral#weve seen them get especially callum but yeah no this tracks 100%'
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mushroomwillow · 2 months ago
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Vent post
Got harassed at job that I was very skilled at. Very singled out by management who did it. Probably?? Because I started asking why the kid with severe ocd wasn’t receiving proper treatment??? Or getting accommodations?? Idk. It happened immediately after I started pushing for it.
Got new job. Working back of house at a new restaurant, literally opening the restaurant with with all new staff. Ngl kinda love it. Already made a really good friend who’s my age (fucking finally) and has a kid the same age as mine, and lives pretty close to me.
My knees fucking hate it tho. Like ngl im really concerned about it. I wear braces at work knowing my knees are bad. I had a really bad fall in early November out of nowhere and it fucked them up again and idk what to do about it. Tbh I might have to wear the stronger braces to work. I’m genuinely concerned rn. I get home and I’m limping and it feels like there’s a bubble in my right knee and that’s not even the one I hurt.
The pay is also fucking horrible. Idk what the tips are like yet. We get like 2-2.5% of sales and some % of the servers tips. Before that it’s $6 an hour. I’m extremely freaked out it’s not going to be enough.
My daughter is very much feeling the affects of us not spending enough time together. It’s fucking killing me. And with such shit pay and no idea how much the tips will cover I basically have to constantly be working.
However it’s 5 hrs instead of 8 a day. I actually seriously love the work. Nearly all the people (one I fucking cannot stand but so far she’s night shift and I’m about to be the bitch that goes to management ngfl). So idk what to do about that.
If I could somehow shorten it to 5 days a week instead of 6, and find a way to make money while having her with me that absolutely does not include driving (severe anxiety driving and what fucking 5yo likes to sit in a car for hours on end) then I’d do it. No idea how that’d work.
Sleep is pretty fucked up still. The holidays fucking suck absolute ass. My daughter has been having accidents again and just in general not sleeping well which makes her mood also not good,
The fucking holidays means no time to decompress. Yeah I’ve been sleeping most of the night save the time it takes to clean up after my daughter but it’s not restful at all. Decided to stay up this time honestly just to be alone and write this out. I’m cuddling with my cat rn.
Said cat has been very insistent on sitting directly on my chest lately which she didn’t used too. Fully refuses to let our other cat sit with me at all which is very strange. Very resource guarding? Idk?? Never had a cat so insistent that they sit with me and me alone except for when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I’m very much not pregnant. If I am then wtf body why tf am I have regular periods also I’m on birth control.
Went up on adderall and I have no idea if there’s any difference because I’m so involved with work. Like fully throw myself into it, do not have to think about anything else because it is non stop go. I get to turn my brain off. I do need to decompress tho holy shit. Just switch my brain back into like, idk real life mode? If that makes sense?? I also have no time to eat. I know that’s a major issue. I’ve already lost a ton of weight and my drs are super worried about it. Idk what to do tbh.
I miss talking to my friends and that is getting a little easier except when i have to see family because of the damn holiday. My babysitter is a god damned godsend. An absolute goddess of a woman who is so incredibly patient with me and my daughter. Idk how she manages with her 3 kids and my daughter with all my daughter’s behaviors rn. But god damn am I thankful. Out of all of this post this is what’s making me cry lmao. She’s very much my wifey as I like to call her and I wish we could actually hang out more than just over discord and the few moments when I pick up my daughter.
Idk when I’ll go back to bed. I’m exhausted and in pain. Headache and my body is killing me. But I’m so tired of my dreams. I feel like sleeping is just making the pain worse. I also just really want to be alone. I’m off today and I know I’ll be dead tired. But damn do I want quiet. Just total silence. And no light. I’d kid of like to draw but I’d have to turn on light and make noise to get my sketchbook and that sounds like a sensory nightmare rn
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jngles · 4 years ago
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Thoughts You Definitely All Asked For on ‘The Mandalorian’ Season 2 Finale!!
These are in chronological order for the show.
One of my biggest fears about them reintroducing Boba Fett was that by removing some of his mystery, they would make him less cool. Thank god that has not been the case. He’s still an aloof and nasty piece of work but with dimensions added.
We all know the Empire is most often a metaphor for America right? At least when it’s not being Nazi Germany? The Imperial pilot talking about destroying an entire planet (of peaceful weaponless civilians no less) to stop terrorism hits a little too close to home of the nuclear bombs the US has dropped and the endless destruction of the Middle East in the “war against terror.” And of course we frame all our wars in similar language like “our troops died to keep our country safe,” which hasn’t really been true since WWII.
I do think it’s worth noting that this is the first time SW has had someone acknowledge the human losses of the Death Star blasts. Usually it’s framed as a loss in construction time, strategical advantage, and power. The Empire proved time and time again that the lives of its soldiers were utterly expendable, which always made me question why people remained loyal outside of fear. Through this pilot’s phrasing, you can see the propaganda Imperial superiors used to twist the truth to their followers, always blaming those deaths on Rebel aggression instead of prideful Imperial neglect (I.e. not abandoning ship when there was still time) or even direct Imperial aggression like Operation Cinder where they fired on thousands of their own (discussed in S2E7.)
You can’t tell me Din wasn’t into it when Cara shot that asshole pilot. That cold faced revenge shot? 100% Mandalorian style, and also very very hot.
I appreciate that it was a pretty equal match between Boba and Koska Reeves. So much of Boba’s advantage comes from his suit, but since she also has one, it’s a battle of wits on how to use it, and they even out. This both maintains his legendary badassery and also that of highly trained Mandalorian warriors, and hopefully avoids asshole chauvinist SW fans on the internet complaining abujt “pandering to feminism” (fuck off @ all of them, especially since Mercedes Vernado who plays Reeves is a WWE champ and could kick all of your asses.)
Din point blank asked how many Death Troopers there are and Dr. Pershing never answered, and that annoys me.
Why is no one suspicious why Dr. Pershing is being so helpful and revealing so much information? He totally did not have to tell them about the Dark Troopers or any of the specifics of locations on the ship. He’s still with the empire post-fall, implying he’s a loyalist, so... wtf on his part (since no tricks come of it), and “be smarter” on the part of everyone else. Unless he’s been captive as a clone engineer all this time. But couldn’t he have made his escape back in Season 1 when Din killed everyone at that lab to get the kid back?
Bo Katan really could’ve just told them how the retrieval of the dark saber needs to work in the flight before the mission instead of being vague about “he belongs to me.”
Boba Fett’s usage of “Princess” and “don’t worry about me” are a good throwback to Han Solo and the culture they both grew up in. You can never quite tell if it’s based in misogyny or resentment for upper classes, but both of them seem to use it as a shield for begrudging respect they hold for a woman they think is brave but following a fool’s errand (the Rebellion and retaking Mandalore).
The Comms Officer (Katy O’Brian) assisting Moff Gideon will forever and always look like Ilana Glazer to me, and then I get swept up imagining what would happen if the Broad City cast accidentally got transported to Star Wars.
The launch tube sequence has some amazing cinematography.
The second I saw Boba was cut off from the pack, I really thought they were going to kill him again and make his return bittersweet. Glad they didn’t.
God this team of Bo Katan, Koska Reeves, Fennec Shand, and Cara Dune is SO BADASS. I’m just obsessed with all these characters and their various motivations to get shit done. I honestly didn’t even think about the fact it’s all women until my re-watch, showing that the writers made it feel natural, the way women deserve to have their representation done. You can bet I am SO EXCITED for my future daughter and the wealth of possibilities she’s going to have of characters to play pretend as, action figures she can relate to, Halloween costumes to wear, etc. It’s so validating that we’ve gone from only Princess Leia as a female main character to all these women + Rey, Jyn Erso, Ahsoka, etc. etc.
Can’t wait for the trap remix of the Dark Trooper activation noises. (And the transition from that to the minimalist flute theme is perfect.)
The spy movie version of the main theme music is sick.
The Dark Trooper droid faces have a lot of similarity to Darth Vader’s mask. That callback is especially apparent when the one is literally lit from the inside with fire. He was already a martyr/legend to the Imperial remnants, Kylo Ren didn’t start the trend of ignoring his redemption.
Cara’s “excuse me” right before shooting up Stormtroopers is hilarious. Literally “can’t talk rn, doing hot girl shit and murdering space Nazis.”
Finally an Imperial ship got some frickin security cameras. Truly- the amount of times people just wander down hallways they’re not supposed to be in with no one being able to find them throughout the course of Star Wars is ridiculous when you think about the degree of surveillance our real life society carries out. I also love that this means The Mandalorian characters have also seen The Mandalorian.
The storytelling does such a service to Pedro Pascal and his already heroic efforts to portray emotion through a helmet. For example: Din easily could’ve killed the one stormtrooper outside Grogu’s cell much more efficiently, but instead, to show his absolute rage, they wrote in Din choking him out with a spear.
Moff Gideon would have been the BIGGEST pain in the ass in philosophy class. “Assume I know everything” my ass. I want to hear about his backstory (he would’ve been “coming of age” at the time of the Clone Wars) mostly just to hear about him getting bullied at school.
Smart move honestly, to try to tempt Din with the Mandalorian throne, given the Mandalorian power struggles of the past. Proud of our boy for keeping his priorities straight.
So has the blood from Grogu been transferred out of the ship and back to the remnant empire already, or do they have to find a new “donor” to help with building Snoke and Palpatine’s clones? Will they continue to go after him with Luke?
Lmao Din being so annoyed by Bo Katan being stringent about the tradition of winning the Dark Saber through combat is HILARIOUS, coming from a man who up until like a day ago hadn’t shown his face to a living being in decades.
The dark troopers can punch in blast doors but NOT Din’s helmet?? That’s a wild testament to beskar. Somehow that’s the comparison that sticks out to me, more even than its resistance to lightsabers.
This show works because of the cynicism of so many characters adding contrast to the moments of heart. Cara Dune is not a “fan” the way Rey was (for the record I love Rey, don’t come at her, it’s just different). Cara doesn’t see an X-Wing and go OMG THE REBELLION I LOVE THEM. She’s been through too much to believe in the magic saviourism of the “good guys,” and is instead thinking strategically when she, the one Rebel present, brushes off the usefulness of “one X-Wing.” The only positive things she seems to feel in battle situations are moments of relief and brief satisfaction in hurting the empire, with a dark knowledge that it will never make up for the hurt they did to her.
How do you keep a cloak hood on while fighting? Both from a technical standpoint (my hats fall off without me even having to move- is he expending force energy just to keep it on and look cool lol?) and also because idk, maybe it’s just me, but peripheral vision is helpful when surrounded by killer robots on a thin bridge above oblivion. I know his first lesson was to “see” through the force, but every resource helps, right?
Now that she has the ship, I wonder if Bo Katan can reprogram any salvageable Dark Troopers to help with retaking Mandalore?
There is nothing like seeing Luke’s fighting style, with its efficient choppiness and twinge of darkness. I always wonder how much is natural and how much is influenced by his first fights with Vader (that Skywalker diva flair). I love how they’ve advanced his technique but also kept him extremely “grey” here- like to straight up COMBUST a Dark Trooper takes some violent energy lol.
How tf is Moff Gideon alive after threatening Grogu’s life twice directly? That’s a wild testament to Din’s regard for Cara.
I love how seeing Luke slice through a bunch of murder droids like butter probably was a huge point in his favor for Din actually letting Grogu go with him. Like he will only send his child to boarding preschool if he knows the teacher will be a certified killing machine.
Oh my god they finally brought in some OG Star Wars theme music for Luke to take his hood off to 😭 It felt weird seeing him fight to different music, so the emotional payoff is huge when his themes come back for the face reveal.
Whoever added the digital young Mark Hamill face NAILED those classic shining Luke eyes and the earnest eyebrow lift.
Whoever shines the glass of Baby Yoda’s lil puppet eyeballs each day deserves a raise. The light caught in those babies is devastating.
Din is shaking as he takes off his helmet. This is the most enormous show of love he could give him, and possibly the last he’ll be able to for a long time. He only just got Grogu back and is desperate for a moment of real connection before letting him go once again.
This is the first time anyone has touched Din’s face since... likely his parents as a child.
Whoever wrote this scene clearly actually has kids. Anyone who’s ever had to leave a young child even just to go out for a bit or to drop them off somewhere knows that heartbreak of seeing them look in your eyes and hold on to your leg, trying to keep you with them. Especially when they can sense your mutual separation anxiety. The one thing that starts to make them feel better is something fun like a new toy or friend who can be their guide in the new environment, and R2’s friendly introduction is exactly that (since digital Luke isn’t being particularly emotive or child friendly... I hope that’s just because he’s reaching into Grogu’s mind while also keeping an eye on the multiple people with guns trained on him, not because he’s going to be totally unfeeling raising this kid.)
I love that Grogu and R2 are immediately buddies in contrast to Episode 5 when R2 was like “fuck this guy” @ Yoda stealing food and hitting him with a walking stick lol. I would imagine Luke must be reminded of that first introduction too and entertained by this display of playfulness in a *positive* light between R2 and mini-Yoda.
I need to know if Luke and Ahsoka have met- it is KILLING ME.
Does this mean Grogu will get killed by Kylo Ren when he fucks up Luke’s academy??? I will reincarnate Ben just to kill him again if that’s the case.
How does Luke not even fully SMILE at Grogu?? An adorable little baby version of his beloved master Yoda, and you’re telling me he doesn’t have the same heart stopping gasp we all did when we first saw him?? Maybe he did when they first connected through the force. He has a bit of bemusement on his face, and also wonder in his eyes, but I want a grin of recognition and welcome, dammit.
I really wish Luke had somehow acknowledged Cara Dune. Everyone else seems to see the tear drop Rebel sign and know it means Alderaan. He could’ve been like yo I have a badass warrior sister from your planet that you should meet. Or just “thank you for your service.” (I know this actually wouldn’t have been cinematically good but my heart wants it.)
Luke didn’t tell Din his name?? Or ask for any details about the kid and his care?? I could literally never let my kid go with someone, regardless of how worthy, and not be like, “Excuse me sir who are you and where tf are you taking my tiny beloved green goblin in case I need to find him? Here is my contact info. He likes to eat frogs and eggs, and he can have macarons as a treat. He’s 50 years old and his favorite toy is still a ball. Bedtime is 8pm and he’s allergic to dairy.”
Another reason I wish Luke had identified himself would be to see the mishmash of reactions that would ensue. Cara would be like DAMN IT’S THAT GUY WHO BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR AND KILLED THE EMPEROR, ACT COOL (and she would indeed act cool). Fennec would be like ugh it’s that guy who helped kill my best paying client Jabba the Hutt and then fucked over my boss Boba, I helped save the kid for THIS? And I would LOVE to know how Bo Katan feels about him, assuming she’s heard of him, and especially if she knows he’s Anakin Skywalker’s son. That confusion is probably the reason WHY the writers didn’t have him reveal himself- they didn’t want to break the emotion of the scene.
Let‘s all be real I’m just being needy about wanting things from Luke because of what he meant to me as a kid and my resulting innate need to have more canon of him, whatever it is, whenever I can get it. Especially in this form that’s so similar to ROTJ, a movie I watched on endless repeat. Even getting this was incredible though. Who else could we trust this lil heart-stealing green bean with so fully? Yet who would be so arrogant as to try to train a baby yodling (see: Ahsoka’s wise refusal)?
R2 is reckless as hell lmao. Not that we don’t already know that, but for him to just head on in, effectively abandoning Luke’s ship (how can they know if there are more troopers or not who might blow it up?) and also putting himself in the path of the ridiculously deadly Dark Troopers is NUTS. I’m usually on his side but he absolutely deserves a scolding by C3PO for this one.
I wonder if Grogu has any memories of R2 or vice versa since they did occupy the Jedi Temple at the same time. Can Grogu understand droids? They could swap stories about mutual acquaintances.
Does Din pretty much have to go with Bo Katan now since a) he’s shown his face and may not be able to go back to the Watch, and b) because he has the darksaber and has to figure out how to get it back to her without dying?
How in the hell did Bib Fortuna (whose chins age was not kind to) go from being butler to being boss? Were all the henchmen just like, “Fuck yeah, no Hutt parents no rules, let’s do what we want!!” And then they’ve spent the last ten years living off of whatever money they could salvage from Jabba’s non-banked wealth? Why has no one challenged them for that prime real estate and loot? I would love to hear that story.
Fennec Shand says “respect sex workers” so you better fuckin’ do it.
Idk dude Bib Fortuna really was a good butler, and he seemed pretty willing to comply with whoever’s in power. Did he screw Boba over in his attempt to return from the dead and earn that killing shot somehow? Or was this to make sure there was no one left who would have a claim to loyalty? Or maybe Boba just really wanted to sit in that chair.
Does “The Book of Boba Fett” mean we’re not on Din Djarin’s story anymore? Or is it a new show? I would much prefer the latter. I want to see Din help retake Mandalore or at least get a hug.
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yntcdtyler · 6 years ago
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so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧
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i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.
so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.
we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.
so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x
okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.
so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.
AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.
i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.
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plainvanillapotato · 5 years ago
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the 100 diaries S1 E5
quarantine diaries: may 23 2020
season 1 episode 5: “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”
is the title a reference to the american anthem? cuz if so remember fergie? 
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bet you wish you could go back to those good old days
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anyway back to the show
finn and clarke. its a cute ship but i dont think that its endgame especially with raven coming down to stir the pot but also because i’ve read some of y’alls urls...
population reduction. nice way to say mass murder. 
what are the actual odds that raven would actually land close to where the 100 is at? cuz i have a feeling its not high but plot i guess
for someone is really about hope and being optimistic clarke really said why would i wish on a shooting star “its just a rock burning up in the atmosphere”
*after seeing raven’s pod enter the atmosphere* “please tell me they brought down some shampoo”- a girl that bellamy is sleeping with...I am this girl and this girl is me. Cuz homegirl is asking the real-life questions. like do they have toilet paper what about pads or tampons i assume no and umm big yikes. but when we all panic bought toilet paper wow that was only a couple of weeks ago. also what these kids really need are some goddamn condoms. cuz from what i’ve seen they are not fit to be parents.
these fools out here thinking that the ark is dropping supplies but its just raven very horny for finn. little does she know about finn and clark. is this a train wreak waiting to happen yes think so...uh oh spaghettios
clarke watching finn and raven reunite big awkward 
also can we please talk about how raven literally crash landed but her eyebrows are still on fleek. i could never.
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love how octavia calls bellamy “bell”--> please tell me that someone has photoshopped bellamy’s face on bell body from beauty and the beast if so please reblog with the image cuz i need it in my life
bellamy cutting out the radio and throwing it in the creek-->once again bellamy proves that he’s out here just to save his own skin but ok yeah i understand it like ngl i would do the same
i dont understand thelonious. one episode he’s like no kane who the tf do you think you are? you can’t go around and kill people and then in this episode he’s like ok so imma kill myself and leave you in charge :/
abby negging theloniuous to not kill himself...wow now i see where clarke gets it
oh Octavia...im clumsy too.
maybe its because im rewatching atla but bellamy talking about how jaha deserved to die reminds of jet and the freedom fighters. it might also be because bellamy’s hair in this episode is a lot like jet’s. 
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see... jet vibez
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i know in one of my other posts i compared bellamy to zuko but as of rn he’s more of a jet (charming yet ruthless leader of a group of kids) especially back to whatever episode where he did a speech about privilege and wanting the upper class to do the work for once--> very reminisce of Jet and the freedom fighters. both bellamy and jet are very bitter towards those in power because they did wrong toward their family members. BUT also season 1 of avatar where jet is willing kill a village just to get rid of the fire nation is similar to bellamy wanting everyone to take off their wristbands despite clarke’s warning about how the need the aid of the ark to survive
and yes im aware of the comparison between bellarke but zutara now idk about that because zutara holds a special place in my heart. honest to god there was so much parallels between the two (twin flames) and foreshadowing you can’t convince that the two are not soulmates. i’ll wait and see tho
abby really released the video that she essentially killed her husband for creating. ok. and then she pretend that the council was the one responsible for his death when she was the person that gave him up. playing the hero when you’re actually the villain
aww the dad is gonna voluntarily die to help his daughter...my heart
side note: what is the life expectancy of people on the arc cuz the oldest person i’ve seen (kane’s mom) could not have been older than 75
wow they really didn’t see the signal from earth great. just great. is it just me or is how they killed the people on the ark remind you of gas chambers? idk this episode was very sad and depressing for me
also now clarke wants to wish on a star? is that character development or is she just salty about finn and raven?
fuck....Octavia is dead that or i predict that she becomes the princess of grounders kind like how princess leia was taken in by the ewoks (and before anyone gets any ideas no I do not consider grounders as lesser beings if anything i think that they are superior to the spacers i’m just spewing out random shit)
also major side note: where the hell is this asian lady on the ark. the last i saw of her was the pilot episode so where is she?? did they cut out of the story??!
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....i was very curious and annoyed so i looked it up and yes. they did fucking cut her out. wtf did they really just bait me with diversity in the pilot. I’m honestly mad because as an Asian american i like to see representation which is why i was so happy to see female asian american on screen when i watched the pilot. now im angry. while i know that diversity is not a big deal to some people it is to me and i really don’t appreciate the 100 showing all these diverse faces in pilot to only to just cut them out of the show. seriously wtf (monty better have a badass storyline) 
don’t worry i’ll keep watching the show and blogging but rn im just really disappointed in the show. like really please don’t dangle diversity in my face when you’re just gonna snatch it away
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thethirdwheel404 · 4 years ago
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Med Rewatch Series (#3)
Let’s see what we have on the slate. this should be the premiere of s3: Speak Your Truth. I am watching this during school, so let’s see how bad my focus is.
-the episode description is “The shooting of Dr. Charles moves to the courtroom and things turn complicated for the doctors and nurses of Chicago Med.” so still on brand for being all sorts of vague.
-all that really says is more sarah angst so big sad
-let’s get started
-god back to classic med, starting things off fast, just how i like it
-how tf kellogg live through the headshot. guy can’t do anything right
-connor running towards charles on the guerney screaming “what the hell happened!?” and sharon just being “he got shot.” is so fucking hilarous to me i have no clue why
-oh god i remember how much it bothered me that connor changed his hair from the end of s2 to the start of s3 lol (bc it’s supposed to be the same night, but yk, nitpicking)
-the time jump is such an interesting choice. i remember it was jarring at first. i’m sure i’ll have more to say as the episode goes on
-aw hey guys look its sarah! adorable
-also stoll
-oh god, nat taking a sabbatical was weird
-WHEN SHE LOOKS AT WILL SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS IN PAIN IM SCREAMING
-counting
-oh boy watching s3 means i get to watch noah get thrown through a glass door and also be a disappointment
-the way connor is effortlessly charming here in the beginning is maybe the only reason i tolerate his character (also more of sarah being adorable)
-horney boi. stop it.
-noah following after sarah like a lovesick puppy is funny
-sarah saying ‘he’s the reason i went into psych...’ honey, psych is not good for your mental health please stop giving him credit
-HOLD THE FUCK ON?????
-its the s3 premiere and Sarah talks about her dad and her strained relationship, specifically because noah compares charles getting shot to her dad getting shot. but like, foreshadowing... maybe i should give the med writers a smidge more of credit than I have been in terms of planning things...
-sarah: “don’t compare my dad to dr. charles.”
-long sigh. god... sarah being so supportive. and charles just being ‘No???’
-not to be weird but court room scenes always get me feeling some sorta way
-haha its peter stone! remember him? remember chicago justice?
-THE BETRAYAL ON SARAH’S FACE - she cares so much about him and he’s about to get his own shooter acquitted.
-god sarah is just fucking fantastic. she feels so passionately about caring about people
-god charles fucking hates himself so much? he should Not be ava’s mentor
-charles: “I think the shooting is affecting your objectivity.” sarah: “mY oBjECtiViTy?!”
-also they said ‘the fact he was concealing a weapon shows like fear malicious content’ or what ever. and uh,, sarah? please. please, for my sanity. (bc of what happens later in the season)
-charles- you know how you can help me? fuck off.
-lol this kid is the one who had like a tooth ache, and now his brain is rotting or something. probably will happen to me (@ my parents please let me see the dentist)
-this is where doris is like ethan is playing favorites
-the like background noises of the ed calm me down. they prob really shouldn’t
-they’re gonna fuckkkkk
-something to be said about sarah being gung ho about kellogg being off the streets and a danger to society when... her dad...
- I really like when med does the thing when one character is just standing in the ed and they transition to the next story by having the next character run past
-what is with all of the nurses drama like honestly
-hey guys look its ava! (let see if i have enough brain cells to find anything)
-heyyyy look at that. ava trying usurp some of connor’s cases. while, yeah she is being a tad undermining, connor’s gf was literally just discharged from a psych hold. this is just an interaction to keep in mind for future events.
-ava’s playing full cunning while connor’s busy fucking his girlfriend
-dont hate the player man
-because they’re both under latham, they’re more rivals than hero/villain, bc they have a common guy who is their advisor. but yeah. dont hate the player
-robin calling ava ‘cruella’ is making want to throw hands ngl. god dude chill - bc it means either robin just saw ava interacting with people and thought ‘what a bitch’ or connor was complaining about ava and either way I hate it.
-connor broke up with robin bc she was too horneyyy (ik he didn’t break up w her but yk)
-connor - reese interaction was nice. until he started blaming her bruh wtf chilll
-her arguing with connor is like. peak. (ava + sarah teaming up to bully connor and not take any of his shit?? i think yes)
-this ethan april thing is stupid. i’m just gonna say it.
-ava: “that would have been a really great idea if you were trying to kill him.” SHE TAKES NO. SURVIVORS. i love her so much
-YEAH RHODES GET FUCKED! i think one of the reasons ava was disliked at first was bc latham kind of favored her and... literally everyone else favored connor? so get fucked? but here, ava can obviously hold her own and connor is just whining. I’m glad they put them on equal ground bc connor and ava’s direct superior is on ava’s side, and literally everyone else is with connor. AND CONNORS STILL PLAYED AS AN UNDERDOG BC AVA TOOK HIS SURGERY! HOW. infuriating
-anyway, for the purposes of the theory ava is capable enough to hold her own as a stand alone, and clever enough to be entertaining
-holy shit no i think i just remembered how this storyline goes. connor gets a better surgery, right? he gets glory and stuff. this is too fucking rich, come on. let one thing go wrong for him.
-i miss ava
-GOD SARAH LOOKS GOOD IN HER FUCKING BLAZER. unfair. unmatched
-stop it sarah you have anxiety.
-SARAH NO. BABY IS SCARED.
-okay. Ava is half bickering, half flirting with him, a little annoying but we put up with it bc we love her and its not her fault she’s supposed to be his love interest. but still, it’s playful, it’s not neccesarily flirting. conceivably, she could be talking to anybody. But then, she tells him to relax, to take a day off. SHE’S STILL A GOOD PERSON. SHE’S NOT TRYING TO EXPLICITLY SPITE CONNOR, OR ANYONE. that’s what people tend to forget. she’s not malicious.
-connor thinks she is tho. maybe that’s why some people hated her, bc connor hated her
-charles: “kellogg is not a criminal” BRUH HE SHOT YOU
-HOLY SHIT. SHARON RN IS LIKE YOU WANT KELLOGG TO BE FREE BC YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE SIGNS OF A KILLER AND ITS ABOUT YOUR EGO
-AND??? SARAH’S DAD ANYONE? that was why he was so persistent of sarah’s dad. he wanted to catch the signs.
-OKAY HERE. When latham is like, wait, did ava manipulate me? is she actually sus? he was the one person on her side and then boom he sides with connor. literally do you have any idea how great ava would be without connor?
-this manstead thing is soooo exhausting
Okay so what have we learned?
Ava is getting Connor’s cases. kind of rude but also, they’re surgeons? It’s super competitive. AND CONNOR LITERALLY WON THAT ROUND BC LATHAM SWITCHED SIDES???
AND SHE STILL TOLD CONNOR TO GET SLEEP. LIKE SHE WAS BEING NICE WHILE ALSO BEING SNARKY
ava had less lines in the ep than in s2 and honestly. wtf.
not much content, but if you look at her content, come on she’s still amazing.
thanks for sticking through
read the rest here:
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra
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hunchoskeazo · 4 years ago
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Chapter 3 “The Breakdown”
“So its been a few days that ive been in this hospital and aint heard from nobody wtf is up.?” As i sat there and thought because what else am I suppose to do.
*Picked up the phone and called Rik*
*Ring*
*Ring*
*Ring*
*No Answer*
( Called Ashley)
*Ring*
*Ring*
Ashley:Hello
AJ:Ashley!
Ashley:Hey Boo How you doing I been up there but you was sleep so i was gonna comeback today.
AJ:Oh... You been up here to see me?
Ashley:Why wouldn’t I? She asked so confusingly.
AJ:Oh... Nah i just aint know you came up here....They say I can get discharged tomorrow you gonna come get me..? I asked
Wait.. where is my car hold on..
(I checked my app)
“Yes i have a tracking device on the whip A nigga like me gots to.”
AJ:Oh its outside in the parking garage... Who drove it here.? You did.? I said with concern 🤔
Ashley:Uhhh no rik drove it up there...
Aj:Oh ok... (How she know that I thought to myself but didnt say nothing).“Well ight wyd rn”
Ashley:Nothing Missing you she said. She gave me the cutest look when she said that.
AJ:Dont be saying it like that girl i said with a smirk on my face.
Ashley:Ha Whyy? And Do you still need me to come get you?
AJ:Oh yeah actually leave your car imma send you a uber come here and we’ll drive my car.
Ashley:Oouu yes Ok ill be there in the morning.
AJ:Ight Bet
(Phone Hangs Up at the same time the doctor walks in and some man in a suit.)
I grimmed him “Who tf is you?” i said with a aggressive tone.
Detective:Hello Mr.Davis My name is Detective Johnson(He put his hand out for me to shake it)
(I just looked at him and his hand.)
Detective Johnson:Oookkkk then anyway. Im here for your case to try and figure out and find the person that did this to you.
“Nah Im good bro bro”
Detective John: Whether you good or not Im still on the case and im here til its closed. So either you gonna let me help you because as of right now your an innocent victim. Or you can become a prime suspect Your choice.!
“Man whatever” I said with a attitude like a bad bitch😂😂😂
DetectiveJ:Oh ok thats what i thought now can you tell me what happened.(He pulls out his pad and pen.)
“I went to visit my mans and someone started shooting next thing i know i woke up here”
Detective:(Writing on the pad) Ok who is your mans? He asked
(Dead Silence)
Detective:You gonna answer the question Mr.Davis?..
(Dead Silence)
Detective:Ok We’re done for the day Thanks Doc we’ll be in touch and i will be seeing you very soon mr davis. (He hit the back of his pen on the pad and put them both in his pocket. Right before he walked out the door He said...)
Stay Safe Mr.Davis (He side eyed me with a smirk and walked out)
Doc:Why was you not cooperating with the detective?
“I dont move like that doc” i said with a nonchalant tone.
Doc:But he’s here to protect you and help you.
“I dont need help or protection this some street shit i gotta handle that the feds cant handle the only thing they get out of it is a ceremony and funeral that they family and coworkers gotta plan for them so no i dont need they help.”
Doc: Smh just dont learn... You know what can i tell you something? She asked
“Yea go ahead” as i stared out the window.
Doc:I get alot of patients just like you in here from gang violence and me being a young black doctor its hard. Seeing young black kings lose their lives in my hands because of the streets it breaks my heart everytime.
(Guilt knocked down that brick wall of pride i had built up just moments ago.)
Im going to just say this one thing before i leave out this door just please cooperate please, because i see something in you and obviously you are on gods green earth for a reason. So please cooperate but get some rest before you leave tomorrow i will come check on you 1 last time before i let you go ok.
“I looked at her and shook my head and said “Ight I gotchu doc”
Doc:Ok Bye Mr.Davis she said so innocently and walked out the door.
(I laid back moments later the nurse walks in and looks at me with a grumpy look)
“Aye you the one that forcefully put me to sleep man you betta not be coming in here to that shit again and you in here by yourself aww hell nah this old lady about to rape me I cried out.”
Nurse:Boy shut yo ass up i dont want you im married.
“SO” i yelled out🤔
Nurse:I am about to put you to sleep tho(She hurried and grabbed the IV and injected the sleep juice in it.
“Wait wait let me—-
(Right before i fell asleep i heard the door open)
——:Pay close attention to the people around you adrian....
(It got dark)..
“I popped up it’s the next morning Dr.taylor and the nurse are already in the room.
Doc:Hello Mr Davis are you ready to go home? She said with a big smile on her face.
“Yea I am actually”(Picked up my phone and texted ashley and sent her money for the uber)
Ashley:Ok imma be on my way in 15 mins.
Doc:Ok let me finish up your paperwork and you can get dressed and leave.
“Ok” I said
As she finished my work i thought to myself was I dreaming or did someone actually come in here and say that to me.... “Fuck It” i said out loud.
Doc:Whats that..?
“Oh oh nothing” I looked at my calls Rik called me but its not a missed call...
Wtf maybe i answered but was still sleep. I hate when people call me while im sleep man.
(I called back no answer)
Ashley:Im omw babe.
I texted back “Ok im about to get dressed im just waiting on them to get done with my paperwork.
Ashley:Ok im omw.
Doc:Ok heres your discharge papers and your prescriptions that you pick up later on today ok...
(She hands me the papers)
Doc:Ok im going to let you get dressed ill be out here when you leave.
“Ight thanks doc i really appreciate you and everything you do.”
(She blushed and clutched her clipboard said thank you and walked out the room.)
“YOU LEAVE TO LADY” i said jokingly loud
(The nurse giggled walked out and shut the door i hopped up and locked it to make sure she fasho couldn’t comeback in and went to the bathroom.)
*15 mins later*
I walked out the bathroom from a hot shower someone knocked on the door.
“COME IN” i yelled
(They jiggled the knob)
Lmao “Oh yeah I forgot i locked the door”
(I unlocked and opened its ashley she walked in smiling and smelling good than a mothafucka with a couple bags in her hand.)
“Ooouueeee who told you to come up here like that red bottoms on, hair laid, lashes on eyebrows done, cleavage out wassup.”
She said “Boy stop it” as she was blushing hard. “Look I got you some stuff to put on everything i just bought yesterday.
(Breds ,Purple brand all black Jeans and a red/black vlone shirt)
“Ight bet”
(Before i was just about to reach for the stuff)
“UNHT UNHT you not gonna give me a hug first damn can i at least get a thank you..!!
I smirked “You right you right im sorry babygirl”
I hugged her and wrapped my arms around her and grabbed her ass she hugged me so tight and she smelled so good I wanted to eat her. She kissed me on my neck i sat down on the bed and pulled her close to me by her hips we started kissing.
She tongue’n the kid down i started to get hard through my towel she felt that and grabbed me and slowly started kissing me from my neck down my chest to my 6 pack...😏
*Knock Knock Knock*
She jumped up i jumped up “UH YEAH COME IN” i yelled
Doc: Its me i have one more thing to give you so stop by the desk before you leave ok.
“Ight i gotchu doc”
(Door shuts i gasped and we looked at eachother and laughed)
“Yea let me hurry up n get dressed” and looked down at mini me and said.
“Control yo self man”
She sat down and crossed her legs, bit her lip and fucked me with her eyes. I grabbed my stuff and went in the bathroom and got dressed.
(Moments later) “Ight im ready”
We grabbed all of our stuff and walked out.
“Im about to stop at this desk realquick”
“Ok” she said and walked ahead”
“Ok whats the deal doc” i asked
“Here (She gave me a card) look on the back”
It was a sticky note with a number and a name on it. I looked down the hall at ashley she was looking the other way. I looked back at doc.
“Call me whenever you need something...Anything..”
I hesitated at first then said “Ok i gotchu” and walked away.
(Caught up with ashley)
“Whats that in your hand?”
“Oh its a card she said to call them if i have any questions about anything....”
(I hurried and put the card in my pocket.)
“Unht unht give it here let me see the bitch probably put her number on the back”
“Man what” i started laughing
“Give it here” she yelled
I pulled the card out my pocket she look at both sides.
“Mmhm sneaky ass” she said in slight disappointment. “Let me find out you fuckn her.”
“Come on na babygirl” i smirked and we walked to the car..
After a long day of shopping eating and talking shit we go back to her crib.
“Omg im so tired and my feet hurt” she cried out
I laughed and said “I bet they do”
“Boy shut the fuck up you always talking shit” she said so agitated.
“I walked over to her and said say it to my face”
“Boy fuck you”
(I picked her up and carried her to the room)
“Put me down Aj you gonna drop me stop playing.” She yelled out.
I threw her on the bed and got on top of her and started kissing on her she immediately calmed down and relaxed her body n started kissing me back. She placed her hand on the back of my neck while my hand maneuvered my way between her legs.
“Oh you ready ready” i leaned up and said
She smirked and grabbed my hand and put my fingers in her mouth.
“Oml”😩 this girl so freaky i think thats why i love her.😂
She hopped up off the bed and walked real slow and sexy to the bathroom while taking her clothes off at the same time.
“Come here daddy” she demanded and waltzed in the bathroom.
“Oh you aint gotta tell me twice” i hopped up so fast i fell flat on my face pants to my ankles shirt halfway on.😂 Its up there.
I walked in the bathroom she already hot and wet. Im about to fuck this girl like a dog.
I stepped in and stood right in front of her she looking up at me and im looking down at her.
I grabbed her neck kissed her i picked her up and Pinned her to the wall and started sucking on her neck she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck and moaned in my ear.
Now yall know when a female moan in my ears it do something to me.
I couldn’t wait i was so hard i was throbbing.
I stuck my dick inside of she gasped.
I went in slow to open her up she so warm and tight.
“Fuuuck” i said slow and low my strokes became faster her grip became tighter, she dug her nails in my back.
I went faster and deeper her moans became louder.
“Ahh AJ” she moaned
I just knew i was about to be a father.
“Fuck it” I said out loud and released.
“Dammnn“ i said outta relief because i just released so much stress.
“Damn the hospital fixed you up you aint never did that before.” She said while she finished showering.
“No cap”😂
We both finished showering she got out before me but i felt the vibes change mins later before she got out.
I finished up turned the shower off and grabbed my towel and walked out the bathroom.
“Whats up?” I asked out of concern.
“........Im not ready AJ..”
“😕Wow You not ready....Why?”
I sat on one side of the bed she sat on the other side.
“Ive been taking birth control pills”
“Man what!!! When was you gonna tell me this we just talked about this a few weeks ago and you said you was ready.” I yelled
“Well yeah that was before you stopped answering my calls and stopped being over or around me all the time.” She cried out
“Ive been working you know that.”
“AJ you know ive been told that before ive been in this same situation before and the person i was in that situation with fasho not you obviously im just scared to go back down that road because im still dealing with that by myself you have to give me that.” She said with a scratchy voice as if she was about to cry.
I started to feel guilty again by another women.
It became dead silent...
“🤔You know i never understood why mothafuckas let otha mothafuckas hold them back from their blessings that they asked for... that they been praying for... A mothafucka standing RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU”
“Maybe Im too genuine.. Maybe I aint what she want..Maybe...”
“Man Fuck this shit” I said while jumping up and storming to the living room.
“WHAT” she yelled
(She jumped up right behind me and chased after me.)
I pounced on the couch and turned the game on.
She came and stood right in front of me with her hand on her hip silk robe half way open, skin soft and shiny with the meanest sexiest look on her face.
“AJ really this what you gonna do while we talkin.?”
*Pat Tap Tap* Controller Buttons
She scooted over in front of the tv.
“Man Move” i said in agitation
She dropped her robe and i dropped my bottom lip Along with the controller.😂
“You ready to listen now?”
“Yes maam” i said with such thirst that i was ready for whatever.
I laid back on the couch and she climbed on top of me and was under a spell after that.
What can I say Imma sucka😋😁
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princess-peregrine · 5 years ago
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Long post, just keep scrolling
ok watching booksmart, this post is tracking me watching it
Okay movie is open
word doc is open
not going for tabs here I guess
so anyway
was on a site, found this movie called book smart and the cover caught my eye, so now i'm watching it. Also I googled if it was gay and it is so that's the main reason
okay first scene is odd
lol fuck them
omfg I love her already
THEIR DANCING IS THE WORST BEST THING YET
hehehe, ass president
fuck samantha
so the principle is very smart and doesn't like any of them
omfg teacher crush girl I love you
everyone loves this teacher! And so do I!
Jared you are nice, but why
rood, her outfit is a solid six out of ten
OMG the head tilt! She leaned on her and and gazed!
When does the super duper gay happen
omfg
skateboard girl
SHE WAS A SKATER GIRL
oh that was a guy? I really can't tell, the adrogony is strong on this one
ryan is a girl so yes the lesbian
ryan's nickname is avril lavigne
“well with her there'd be more, vagina involved.”
omg the way the music cuts out is so odd
I love her car
I want that car, it has flame paint
I am the girl with the scarf, she is me, like for real, that is me
is she in the wrong, yes she is
this bathroom scene is the kind of conversations I would sit in the middle of and not talk like for real it is so nostalgic
their dick drawings are terrible
I love the hippie, he's nice, he's understandable, fuck the government man
omg shit got darker and more grainy
I love the side character hope
she is just upset other people that care less are smart wtf
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HALL PARTY!!!!
ok I think I see where this movie is going
i'm gonna guess, their gonna have a day to make up for being, stiff, and unloose
yeah that's where it's going
“Who's they?” same
omg the clothes change scene, they are so cute
“THE PANDA” OMFG I LOVE THEM
“i wish, that wouldv'e been a secret, but, you said it anyway”
the parents omg do not deny the mushrooms omg the parents faces
omg the car
“absofruitly” omfg
THE LISCENSE PLATE WHAT TF
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MEEEETH
what, vitamins, the meth was just vitamins
“I BROUGHT YOU TO THE BEST PARTY, MY PARTY”
no one is there, wh, how doe, whe, how could, how tf did he do this
the party girl I love
she was the one on the car earlier
she is high
for sure but I love her what the hell is doing on
oh yeah she admitted, ln drugs
he's wearing a scuba helmet like a daft punk
omg no pls stop
he was so consent talk earlier and now he's nice guy
she lost her virginity in a graveyard and she said her eggs are haunted, I love it
I love her
who is lu an
jump off the boat
oh shit
oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit is she ok
pls lovely haunted rich girl be ok pls
“please don't do your lecture voice”
they got the address
i'm calling malala
she only gets one malala a year omfg I love them
the principle is the uber driver omg
i'm smiling so hard and it hurts bc my cheeks and gums aren't healed and I am in such pain, that a good thing
wtf that book idea sucks
so awkward
“neck deep in ryan” “neck deep, in, what direction?”
omg she's never watched porn
omg sharing earbuds while watching porn for educational purposes
omg omg omg omg the aux porn noises
“is that cardi B” OMASL;KDFADHLKAJSH
they got the wrong address again
how did she get here
gigi I love you
I finally learned her name it's gigi, I love gigi
gigi why are you not at nicks party
the strawberries hit by now?
THE STRAWBERRIES WERE LACED?!!?!?!? SWEEEEEET
one time I threw up in my moms hand and she caught it because she loves me
omg omg omg omg barbie scene
they're dolls I love this movie
“where is my chub” I feel the same
what is the real life equivilant of this
they're naked
“uh molly I have no genitals”
omg is there going to be barbie porn, spread eagle
gigi is amazing I love her
gigi you are wrong on this, and I still love you
omg just say you're bi
“i can't like him because he's a jock” same
slaps molly “how dare you say that about my best friend” so relatable
library studying to find the party omg
the pizza delivery that's how they'll find the party
stowaways
omg kidnapper pizza delivery movie now pls?
“that's your private information” I love this pizza delivery guy
“don't trust people oh my god” he's great
she left her phone omg
“why is my battery so low?” “The porn, we streamed a lot of porn.”
who is it
THE TEACHER I LOVE HER
OMG BEST TEACHER EVER EVER EVER FOREVER THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE THIS MOVIE NOW
Sentinel if you read this the teacher reminds me of you, she's banned from juice
“lucky for you two, i'm a single woman living in los angeles”
they are so great to eachother
ok they're here but there is still half of the movie left, so, what's gonna happen now
oh I know, romance drama hopefully
crush vision
oh pls no, crush vision has made everyone dissappear pls no, don't
THIS BITCH, GET THE HELL OUT WITH YOUR SINGING IN THE RAIL BE BOP DANCE
it's done
still love the hippie
gigi how the fuck
gigi you are perfect and I love you
the teacher is here? For real? Is, that really what's happening?
Ryan is not who I would have had a crush on but I seriously love her rn
everything is going too well
how tf did he get from the murdermystery to there
probably the same way gigi did
he deepthroated the microphone and that is not ok
the hippie is going to try to seduce the teach
he called her mrs. fine. Also his name is theo
AND I'M HERE, TO REMIND YOU, OF THE MESS YOU MADE WHEN YOU WENT AWAY!
Alan?
I don't think he's 20
uh oh kareoke pls don't
i'm afraid
this is causing me stress
what Is going to come of this
hugs
ok that was a stress fake out
this is going too well for too long what the hell is going on here
oh I know this song
swimming in the pool
um, so ryan is jacked
oh so ryan is either bi or straight but this does not bode well
oh shit doesn't bode well for either of them
she's using malala and you just say no bitch
molly you're being a bitch
omg yelling during a party and now everyone's staring
molly you are kind of a bitch now I like you less
molly was totally in the wrong
I love the cowgirl
omg cowgirl is a bitch too wtf
is everyone a bitch
kiss, which I saw coming but, still, get it
so rich kid is there too
gigi I love you
he wants to do airplanes I love him
ok so virginity loss first time scene
black bra
I forget what movie but there was a scene that they said “no one has a black bra if they don't want someone to see” and i'm like bitch black is my fav colour
WRONG HOLE!!!
OH SHIT, she puked, oh crap oh no oh pls god no, this is awful oh poor amy
oh no oh shit oh no oh crud I wanna cry I feel so bad for her she puked oh goodness I feel so bad for her why
oh that's what the scene earlier about her mom catching her puke meant
they didn't hear the clap?
Gigi I love you, also why do you take airplane kids car if you have your own
gigi's real name is annabelle
“Wait where the fuck do you live” omg
twenty minutes still left, what is happening here
but did the teach bang the kid
omg she rolled her r at a kid
she did bang him
teach what the fuck
gigi is at the piano the talented bitch
i'm gonna bet they'll still be late
THEY MADE IT, broke the fence, BUT THEY MADE IT, also his car is f'ed up
omg why is everyone cheering was everyone at the party?
Maybe cause they just crashed a car through
ok so molly was not gay
this kiss was terrible and they should do a reshoot until they take a not ugly kiss
neat speech
her mom is kissing the jilling bear
oh no
oh pls thank god molly
they were kissing the sex panda oh god
omg omg omg omg
cowgirl you are valid
she has stripped sleeves I love
she has a volvo and that adds like, plus twenty aesthetic
gone forever now
not forever, just a year
harmonizing for the ending song, good choice I guess
oh no, now it's sad
fuck
jumpscare
pancakes
omg I love the ending
the ending wow
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nice shit
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wolfwhiteflowers · 7 years ago
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ep 6-ish filming spoilers/spec. *twd comic spoilers
I rambled a lot. I also mentioned. SDCC news, Kang articles, Skybound(s9 promo pic) 
It’s a messy post. I wrote it like journal. vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
There’s filming spoilers of Eugene up on the water tower and his foot got stuck..and I guess got outta there. Also maybe a lady there..the casted lady there. Alpha? ..a crew member? idk. He’s up in the water tower similar to comic-Gabe’s uh death. 
Well in the comics, Gabe went up there to look out for any signs of a herd during/ later-ish in the Whisperer war. He’s very new to being a solider and cowardly-like...like Eugene is but not tv-Gabe (oh, also tv-Gabe is partially blind too). So, comic-Gabe saw the huge ass heard coming, freaked out and went down the ladder, his foot got caught in bottom of the ladder. And then a whisperer killed him before Gabe could warn others about the herd and whisperers that are coming to ASZ. 
I’m gonna think it’s not a remixed of that scene. What about the radio (comic Eugene)? Idk anymore.
Ep 6 sounds like a big Eugene episode or he got a lot of outside action stuff in this ep.
-thoughts-I’m thinking of the moment they introduced Georgie in s8 which the lady is similar to Pamela from the Commonwealth. I’m starting to think that TWD writers shouldn’t introduced Georgie or someone that’s similar to this Commonwealth arc in s8. So Idk in s9 the spoilers sound like stuff all from after the time jump and Whisperer War arc. Everything seems rushed. Maybe they’re remixing these plots. Some plots in other seasons were there earlier than the comic storyline. Who knows. But if Eugene has a radio and contacting Stephanie. It’s like different from the comics. The radio plot from Eguene and going to Ohio to find Stephanie -Commonwealth -Michonne’s daughter, Elodie. It was all a mystery. So meeting Georgie ruins the mystery.
-JDM’s haircut! Dang idk anymore! Seems like a lot cast members got groomed lol So, another time-jump? 
-So I guess another Lintz kid will be in TWD or Matt will be teen-Henry! Maybe Henry won’t die(braces). I’m glad.. cos I think that’s important part of Carol’s story, imo.  But Idk for sure who he play as.
-ok so recently TSDF are saying that there will be a time jump based on what i just mentioned. 5 years or so jump based on Matt Lintz possible playing at teen-Henry. Matt is like 5 years older than his bro.
This timejump, I’m like NO. Blah I don’t like it. Is it in ep 6?
 Also ... based on the Skybound tweet, I don’t feel sure about TSDF, it seems like they’re rushing to announce a spoiler, again. I don’t think they got enough info yet..but yeah a lot of cast members are groomed..so I guess time jump is happening. I was like ok with it at first but ...later in the week, I noticed there’s no spoilers on characters grieving on Rick (leaving or dead) and no heads on pikes scene. Idk what’s going on storywise.
-(repeating the same thing) Skybound/TWD tweet. lol “don’t believe what u hear.” Idk what it is about but if it’s about the spoiler on the spoilery script pic, then ???? lol First, TSDF were saying WTF. They’re pretty sure Rick Dies in ep Five.
my comment on the thread.
I'm curious. Did you guys got more info or sources that Rick died in ep 5? Or you guys speculated over on the spoilery script pic?
What if Rick gone missing (like tv-Heath)? It's something that I kind of hope for in the show with AL wanting to leave. I was hoping Rick would go missing and then Michonne and Judith go on a boat to idk Commonwealth after s9.
We don't know much on why AL is leaving and why AMC is keeping a secret and all that. We just have to wait and see.
I hope you guys will get more info soon.
I mainly just want to know how Rick leaves the show. Does he die or go missing? And what about the Grimes fam.? And when?
I guess I was right? TSDF are saying some kind of craziness happening with Rick’s departure like a dumpster-gate. BUT, AL supposedly? got one episode left to film and the news is that he will exit TWD. So ...Rick is still leaving, right? :( I hope he doesn’t die. Back on rollercoaster ride..on hoping for the TWD AU to be good.
-I’m guessing Rick won’t even see this new windmill built. I don’t understand this windmill being built way later. Rick isn’t like “old man Rick” no cane, no windmill, blah.
-The time jump=
...well TSDF may be wrong about all this. Maybe Oceanside is dead or not focused anymore. Young Henry is missing like comic - Elodie or dead. New Lintz teen boy may be playing as a different character. Negan is groomed because from the comics he got groomed..so yeah. 
----if TSDF is right, ...
I get it now(Beth). I guess. Reason why s8 finale didn’t tease or set up for the timejump in s9 because it’s not the big time jump they wanna mention or tease about. Finale still sucked and didn’t excite me for next season. If ep 6 - time jump will happen (5 years) then I guess first 5 ish episodes are about Rick with a hair cut and yeah he’s gone. Maybe Gimple’s plan of s9 is in these 5 episodes and ep 6 is all Angela Kang’s ideas.
I’m so lost on the play of time. Maybe s9A is like FTWD’s recent half season. Idk. 9A goes half of the story is one year later and the other half is 5 years later. Or 1-5 episodes are one year later. 6-8 and on are five years later? Idk 
It’s really bad for Caryl. Idk much on storywise and filming spoilers, but I don’t think whisperers/Alpha does their thing before ep 6. So after the ep 6./5 years time jump, that means Carol ...I guess is in a romantic relationship with Zeke  in Kingdom for 5 or so years. Daryl still single cos wtf idk.. writers don’t say he’s asexual, gay, or whatever from the start. 
Like we already know but yeah really bad for Grimes family. They don’t show characters grieving over him? Michonne ofc is gonna be sad and wtf alone(?) for 5 years. Depressing. ehhh s9 is such crap for Michonne’s story. If Rick doesn’t die but gone missing or taken into the helicopter, then it reminds me of the soapy show Jane the Virgin (spoilers!!!........) where Michael “dies” and a year later he came back fine but had lost his memories and that’s why he didn’t come back earlier. Anyways, with that theory, it still wouldn’t work well with that 5 year time jump (and more). Like if maybe Michonne and Judith went a boat and found Rick after 6 years. That’s nice...? Depressing tho...uh? Then the end for TWD? lol
-5 years is a lot. TWD s1-8 was like 2 years. So...everyone and everything is so different.
---
omg those articles from Kang. sorry but she’s just being like any other showrunner trying to sell her show yada yada. Daryl will have romance? she’s like sure. But remember skybound said nope on s9.  Girl power?She’s like yas.  Skybound said nothing much new with Michonne and Carol. Ofc, it’s not gonna be good plots for the ladies./ It’s all depressing and idk the show doesn’t show them interact anyways.
WTF 
-... when AL finished his filming, I was like uh what to look forward to in the spoilers? sigh. yeah. It’s what it is. S9 is just awful. :\
-I don’t know what Carol is gonna do. MMB is a ninja, people can’t spot her during filming. It’s sad..I don’t know (s9)Carol anymore actually. I wish Carol was single and just idk. I want to know what Carol is like after the war and living in Kingdom (and why live there or show Carol telling TF that’s she’s living there and they still bond with her.) I don’t what Carol is like after 5 years either. I don’t know anything about Carol rn. ...I don’t think there’s much on Carol with Rick/TF. :(
---
SDCC.
ok but first, omg i just wanna see the cast interactions only. I love this lil group. (they’re like my ‘twd players’ and also it’s shippy like. Caryl, Richonne...and used to be-Gleggie)They’re main cast members and they’re like originals of the show plus JDM. But questions and answers..oh boy it’s gonna be awkward and crazy. 
eta. I heard that LC won’t be at the TWD panel. Maybe she will be at the con somewhere else? I’m not sure and it’s probably from her contract with ABC. Anyways, that’s sad...TWD fans won’t see LC at the panel for the last time.
 I realized that we’re gonna learn a lot about s9. Like confirmation on what’s gonna happen in the story. It’s gonna be crazy. They may be like Caryl is always just friends.duuuuh.durrrr.  TWD is not Rick’s story. durrr. Maybe, Rick (and Maggie) isn’t gonna diiiiiee ;) ep 5, he dies. SIGH.
I heard AL is gonna announce that’s he’s leaving the show. That’s nice, imo. I like to know if the actor will leave or not that kind of stuff. I don’t want this big surprise death or whatever.  Idk. whatever AL  want to or will do. I just want writers/AMC to treat their fans with respect. 
-------------------------
So um ..I just feel that s9 is actually crappy. It’s all AU to me in the first place, and that even as AU-onscreen, it still sucks. :\ So yeah give me fanarts and fic pls.
 I hope the actors and others have fun at SDCC. I hope s9 isn’t that bad but well I don’t think so. (not planning to watch it either so.) 
I’m still waiting what s9A will be like and does Rick dies or not. 
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the-katuki-niliforv · 7 years ago
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ao3 tag game
tagged by @forovnix juuuuuuuus!!! love you thanks for the tag sorry i take a million years to get to them XD
what is your total word count on ao3?
184,392 damn i have a problem
how often do you write?
mmm i try to write at least once a week (every day would be ideal but that’s just not attainable for me rn lmaooo) I write academically almost every day but for funsies it’s more like at least once a week
do you have a routine for writing?
it honestly depends on the story, for my original novel stuff i have a big doc where I put major plot points and scenes written out so i don’t forget with bullet points and everything laid out, and then a hand-written notebook dedicated to like. world-building and history. 
for my yoi stories i had docs dedicated to major points for each chapter to make sure it was all on track
for bnha it’s a little more of a mess T^T i have a note open on my phone for major points and a doc dedicated to bulletpointing the major story things but for that it’s a lot of just go go go and see what happens you know? idk why im like this tbhhh
what are your favorite kinks/tropes/pairings?
LOL UH. hmm. kinks. uuuuuuh. that’s hard i don’t read or write that much smut T^T;; i guess?? idk neck-kisses are nice?? honestly i like when people talk more in it or like. idk. banter?? i don’t think that’s a kink tho. sorry lmaoooo;;
for tropes??? ugh. i love royalty aus of literally any kind like please yes, the 5+1 fics are usually p cute, i like sickfics?? just people taking care of each other give me all of that right tf now?? aaaaand...idk if it’s a trope but i love like online relationships/talking online fics and then they like meet it’s just cute idkk
jfc ships like hold on tight my dudes. uuuh. obvs viktuuri, and tododeku but then also seungchuchu and uuh daisuga, aohina (it gives me so many feelings don’t @ me), bokuaka, tsuchako, kiribaku, TODOIIDEKU that shit’s cute af, MIRITAMA HECK! aaaand sanrai & miyusawa still can’t let those dna kids go either ((honestly this still probs ain’t all of them i have too many ships im not sorry))
do you have a favorite fic of yours?
AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. jeez. honestly?? probably this sanrai fic I did for a rare pair bang A Match Made In Magic it’s a hp au but also a soulmate au idk i still think it came out p cute ((and also i got to work with such a dope artist like wtf)) 
((small side-note tho i don’t think that I wrote a character’s stutter very well, so that’s a nice warning out there now. I’d like to go in and rewrite those bits at some point bc i think i can do it better/more realistically/respectfully now but yeah for now I don’t think that’s represented as well as it should be. It’s not outlandishly bad but I think that it can definitely be better.))
your fic with the most kudos?
omg that would be An Intangible Force of Motion (681 wth!!) still, not that I’ve done a big fic and finished it since but i’m still surprised that it ended up being all that popular lmao;;
anything you don’t like about your writing?
hmm. i don’t like the way I write descriptions, I think that they always feel forced and still don’t really contain enough for anyone to visualize anything. I always want to be better at descriptions, but I feel like I still end up lacking in a lot of places, but I’ll just keep working on it for sure and hopefully yield some results lol
now something you do like (about your writing)?
I like how I write dialogue! I think I usually do a pretty good job of making things sound realistic and as in-character as I can get them for fanfic! so...yeah! 
thanks for the tag again, Jus!! 
now for me....hmmm. I’ll tag... @maydei, @paledreamsblackmoths, @rayrayswimusic, @spookyfoot and @history-rover any anyone else who wants to, this is me tagging you officially!! But also yeah like don’t feel pressured to do it, guys, just if you wanna! <3
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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago
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Indie & Rio
Indie: where you @? Indie: lost u in the heads & smoke like Rio: I know, fucking madness ain't it Rio: never gets old Rio: What's up tho? Indie: get off mckenna for a few i need to chat Indie: 😏😏😂😂 Indie: dunno how to spit this Indie: imma just Indie: drews back in the pen lookin @ a fresh stretch Rio: Hush child 😜 Rio: Oh shit Rio: Really? Rio: Any day to get caught, like Rio: he must've been weighed tf down, man Rio: How you feeling on it, babe? Indie: innit tho Indie: vexed i didnt get my share for the feds hit him up Indie: but fr idk man Indie: he trying to play like he sorry & he wants to see my face if his gotta keep in there Rio: Hmm Rio: It's like, does he mean it or is it 'cos it's long in there, like Rio: Not trying to be a cunt genuinely questioning like we gonna get any sort of answer Indie: i told my auntie he sorry for heself only Indie: i feel that Indie: i not trying to 🤡 for him so the pen aint dry Indie: & he aint trying to see my sis face Indie: either of Rio: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to take a baby to prison, can you fucking imagine Rio: least of all Ro sat there like Rio: Jesus Rio: Well, you know I've got your back Rio: if he means it he'll bell you himself once he's in and knows wtf he's doing Rio: but I'm with you with as much as we know now, fuck that, some time away will do us all some good Indie: if former step ma stepped her foot in there shed be shook beyond belief Indie: no jokes Indie: it got me feelin some type of way bad tho like i willed it Indie: cos i wanted him gone from me & the younger Indie: but how long he gets depends she might not kno him lowkey ever Indie: ro aint want him around now she aint gon forgive & forget welcomin him back to the table once he jailbroke Rio: Init Rio: Might be the culture shock she needs but even I ain't gonna say she deserves, like Rio: Nah, dash that, serious Rio: it's always been a risk of how he's living, whether right or wrong, wanted or not, it's just facts Rio: they caught him slipping, nothing to do with how much he been slipping with you and that whole situation Rio: It ain't gonna be like that, system's a joke, yeah? Rio: Idk about that though but if he proper wants to see Astrid then there's ways to make that happen, just he's never put that level of effort in, ever Indie: im heavy w this Indie: aint trying to need this tonite of all nights Indie: gus & di already 👀 edie early Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 coming off Indie: mayb i gotta just bounce from here Rio: I know, babe Rio: you don't have to Rio: no one wants you to go Indie: i aint about wanting that but 💔💔💔💔 u kno Rio: if you gotta Rio: I get it Rio: but you don't need to stay gone, yeah Rio: like Edie doesn't Indie: idk where my boys are i cant be runnin these streets rn Indie: the feds are proper extra Indie: decision makes itself Rio: Yeah they gotta be out in full force Rio: it ain't safe for you to bounce alone, everyone's lairy Rio: We can go home if you want, night close to over neway? Indie: naaaaah you and mckenna got few slow dances to still do Indie: he feelin lucky still & 😍😍😍😍 Indie: he gonna have to bounce heself in like a day Indie: gotta let him have this Rio: Fuck that Rio: you're my priority Rio: what you wanna do, forreal? Indie: idk Indie: but if we bounce drews killed the vibe & i aint want that for myself either Indie: ill track lo cos bros a walking party innit Indie: bound to make a change Indie: find me when you done riding your mans Rio: Yeah Rio: Alright then, sounds good to me Rio: In a few, bitch Indie: i love you Indie: serious Rio: I love you more Rio: Always have, always will Rio: This ain't gonna fuck with no thing, we on the up and up, still Indie: yeah u kno i aint tryna let this make me slip too Indie: thats his Rio: It alright if you do, I'm here to catch you Rio: we all are Indie: i got something in my eye now bitch Indie: 😭😭😭 Rio: No one will know, all the smoke that's about just reckon you wayyyy faded Indie: truuuuu Indie: but in this facepaint w this much 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 pride not a mood 👌👌 Rio: Soz about it 😏 Indie: speaking of Indie: ask mckenna if he gon lips me or what bitch i been waitin since he shown up Rio: 😲😣 Rio: the nerve to ask me that Indie: he looking daddy af & you kno it Indie: i got dem issues proven so Indie: come thru boyyy Rio: 😂 Rio: we gon' have issues if he come away with green lips thank you Rio: post up Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: what can i say it b that posh knitwear 😍😍😍😍 Indie: who else b dressin like that cept his actual father Indie: im creased Rio: you want his ma after you too Rio: deathwish like you tryna go out on dem streets with a union jack on you Indie: nah she my girl now Indie: loves me real deep Rio: is it? Indie: now she aint catch me face deep in her fridge like Indie: the actual Indie: not some dirty type words there Indie: she b cold but i aint tryna say no thing about in the sheets Rio: 😂😂😂 Rio: you ain't the only one creased now Rio: fucking hell Indie: plot twist fam i be coming for other mckennas 🌈👑 & out here w her own ma Indie: soz bout it Rio: that'd be mad shaming Rio: no living that hypocrisy down, bea Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: nah but girls aint do no thing for me like that Indie: they too soft Rio: Shame, such a soft butch dream, babe 😉 Indie: is it? Indie: that b how im friendzoned by my dream boy rn then Rio: 💔 Rio: gutting Indie: for him Indie: cos im 🔥🔥🔥 and he aint kno Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: that's my girl Indie: mayb he 🌈🌈🌈 omf u think? Rio: Could be Rio: idk how he living that hard myself but you know Indie: i gotta ask other mckenna how i can 👀 Indie: is junie still here too? Rio: I hope she's fun drunk so you don't get a rant Rio: nah, he left a while ago, I 👀 him sneaking out but it's a day for Irish goodbyes so let him live, like Indie: o Indie: ill run him a text rn Rio: i ever teach u how to be tactful or nah Rio: might need a mama moment 😏 Indie: wys Indie: i aint kno what that mean even Rio: it just means chillin' even when you hyped, 'cos the other person might not be, like Rio: he ain't livin' that pride life Rio: not 'bout being 🍀 like Indie: ooooooooooooo Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: y tho? Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a process Rio: being comfortable with who you is Indie: how you gon b uncomfy w it Indie: lifes long Rio: plenty out there give u reasons why depending on who you is Rio: but it's just in you Rio: it's hard to explain when that ain't how you is but he is, always has been Indie: dash that Indie: poor baby boy Rio: I know Indie: ill just text him love Rio: you cute Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Indie: feelin it Rio: lookin' it Rio: 💘 Indie: shhh allow it Indie: nah man Rio: what you chattin' Rio: you beautiful Indie: not this nite bitch Rio: every night bitch Indie: hype girl vibes is it Indie: kkk Rio: shh i'm only a tiny bit drunk and feeling the luv Rio: also accidental racism come thru there Indie: o snap Indie: my bad Indie: not tryna dash you off that hard Rio: 😂 Rio: though if you ever need to Rio: like, cold but damn Indie: dont even play Indie: omf Rio: though so many whiteys in one place rn we could start a rally Indie: innit Indie: waste Rio: you're happy, aren't you indie Indie: bout what? Indie: what you mean? Rio: in general Rio: i mean Rio: you're okay, yeah Indie: idk baby im me in general Indie: just livin Rio: Hmm Indie: is you? Rio: Yeah Rio: I just want all of you to be too Indie: how you kno tho? Indie: whats the feelin? Rio: Happy? Indie: yeah how is it? Rio: it's like Rio: when you was a kid Rio: but you old enough to appreciate how good it is now Indie: so mckenna makes you feel like you lil Rio: no Rio: it's not like that, or that it's just him Rio: idk Indie: its like a good high or? Rio: not really Rio: it's like, no matter what shit is was or will be Rio: you still good Rio: nothing touches it Indie: yeah? Indie: thats a madness Indie: no wonder you two b amp af Rio: it's security Rio: i think Indie: thats wild Indie: how i b getting myself some of that shit like Rio: i'm no expert Rio: but i think u gotta know yourself, be comfy with it, know what you want and then be tryna get it Rio: and have good people 'round you who are solid too Rio: that's what i reckon anyway but who knows everything could go to shit and then this'll be awks Indie: nah you good Indie: like i said afore mckenna b cuffed now Indie: what i hear you sayin is i need a mans cos i kno myself & where i wanna get Indie: & i got heads all around Rio: hmm Rio: i don't remember saying that 😂 Indie: well i b sayin safe all the time but i aint b feelin no safety Indie: thats whats missin only from what you listin Indie: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Rio: maybe it ain't as simple as i think then Rio: maybe if there's one wobbly brick, it all comes tumblin' down Rio: weakest link shit Indie: i feel that Rio: yeah Rio: i ain't know how to fix that Rio: i'm still happy Rio: most the time Indie: 💖💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: thats sick Indie: im hyped for you Rio: maybe i'm selfish then hmm Indie: naaah Indie: aint no thing wrong w feelin any type way Rio: but if you ain't and edie ain't and so many other people ain't Rio: then i shouldn't, like u can't 'cos of all this stuff Indie: me & edie too 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 to know how we is Rio: that ain't good either Rio: i should do more i'm being too easy on myself now Indie: dash that Indie: you doin the most for me Indie: all in Indie: & she aint tryna let anyone do anything you kno Rio: i should just do it Rio: not give her the option Rio: we all should Rio: she's just a kid Rio: a kid who don't know what's good for her rn Indie: now i kno you drunk babe Indie: how you gon achieve it? Indie: cant help heads that aint want it Rio: lock her in her room 'til she ready to be good Rio: i know you can't but Rio: we failed her Rio: period Indie: if you lookin for that room to be trashed go off Indie: it aint none of you that failed her Indie: you kno who it was Rio: he never even tried Rio: not once Indie: & thats how it aint matter what you do Indie: it aint bout you Indie: none of Rio: it's fucked up Rio: 'cos you from him you don't get to be happy? what the fuck is that Indie: life bitch Indie: we aint get to choose where we from Rio: nah Rio: nah, that's bullshit i ain't having it Indie: it aint yours to have or to carry thats what im sayin Rio: no, fuck that Rio: don't you get that's exactly what he'd say and how he's living Rio: oh my mum didn't love me and so this is how i am, end of Rio: no growth no change no nothing Rio: he didn't have to do it like that just 'cos Rio: he made choices and you can too, both of you Indie: he didnt have to do no thing but i cant make him behave like you cant her Indie: they gon do what they gon do Indie: shes making her choices rn based on how she viewin none of us can get in her 👀 and get shit untwisted if she aint want Rio: she isn't like him Rio: don't say it like she is Indie: how she not? Indie: she got everything & all she see is what she think she aint got Rio: she just ain't alright Rio: we ain't doing this rn Indie: she is tho Indie: where she now? gone like how he do running from what she has like he do Indie: it aint exactly how they want it so they aint want it Rio: i mean it Rio: stop Indie: you gonna law me now Indie: is that how we doin Rio: you don't know what you're talking about Rio: i don't wanna listen Indie: you wish i aint kno Indie: thats why you dont wanna hear Rio: you're saying all this like you reckon you're better Rio: you don't know Rio: he chose you Rio: you don't know what it's like to be her Indie: what i kno is i used to chat at myself every nite wishing your rents would keep me and she dashes them over so hard it breaks them Indie: what i kno is they chose her & got mad love and what his is better cos he was inside your ma for a few? nah Indie: what i kno is that he was backed into a corner over me cos my ma fucked died Indie: yours gotta b punished cos she was strong enough to do her job fuck that Indie: im better cos im here & im real bout and on all this Rio: you don't think she don't know that Rio: you don't think it's half the root of her fucking problem Rio: lucky edie and poor indie Rio: so just stop because this ain't nothing i don't know, her too Rio: it's already on her without you ever saying it Indie: you say that like she wearing it Indie: she aint Rio: you blame her Rio: she wants to be drew's kid as little as you do, you'd be an idiot to believe her when she says opposite Rio: there's no points for being real here, she's not stupid, she knows what's up and it's fucked, you've got your ways of coping, she's got hers Rio: neither fucking work, clearly Indie: she blames me for more than ill ever blame her for Indie: & she aint tryna be anybody or anybodys Rio: nah Rio: she feels sorry for you though and that don't sit right does it Rio: because you should be sharing on it together yeah? but that ain't ever gonna happen because he didn't once claim her so you don't get to be sisters Rio: she don't know how to be Indie: bitch so do you it just came right out your mouth then & there 👌👌 Indie: & nah that aint sit right w me cos i aint ask to be none of you or your fam charity Indie: but i dont need her to be my sister no more than i need him to step up for me in any type of way Indie: i made my peace Rio: bullshit Rio: just like you say you safe but you ain't you say that but it's a crock of shit Rio: at least she isn't pretending to be fine Indie: u aint heard me say im fine Indie: but am i ghosting nah Rio: you always say it Rio: bet you told Meena you were too Indie: if you thinkin you hearing that from me you aint listenin Indie: i aint being real w her how i am w you cos she aint need that Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: and Edie don't wanna be anybody's Rio: she's your family, we're your family too Rio: she might not be here but you may as well not be the way you try and shrink yourself to not be part of the 'Drew' problem, no bother to no one Indie: if thats how you want it ill bounce too then Rio: did i say that Indie: you are w how youre coming for me rn Rio: you started it Indie: nah Indie: i aint come for you once this whole time Rio: you came for her Indie: she aint you Rio: she's my sister Rio: and she's not here to defend herself Indie: bitch me too Indie: & she wouldnt defend herself if she was Rio: i know Rio: and that doesn't matter Rio: i still have to Indie: you cant have it all ways either im fam and shes my sister too or im separate and i cant speak on it Indie: how you want it Rio: nah Rio: we don't speak on it don't act like you ain't noticed Rio: you don't call each other out that's not what we do Indie: then i aint trying to be w none of you Indie: cos thats bait Rio: Fine Indie: you call me out any time it suits you to do it Rio: bitch when Indie: when i got inked you had plenty to say about it Indie: & when i got dashed before then Rio: telling you your shit boyfriend is shit and you're making an idiot out of yourself is entirely different to coming for her life and her entire being Rio: if you can fix it you can say it Indie: theres plenty of shit that could have been said to her afore it got to this Indie: but nah just come for my life tonite stead like Rio: i done said we failed her Rio: you think i don't know Indie: i aint tryna tell you how you think Indie: or what you kno Rio: nah come on Rio: you had all the answers 5 seconds ago Indie: fuck that Indie: & you if thats how you wanna be Rio: whatever Indie: pretend like you aint got no more to say like how i pretend im fine 👌👌 Indie: its chill Rio: you ain't listening Rio: i'm not wasting breath Indie: bitch im here where you think i is Indie: if i aint listening i be out Rio: you ain't ready to learn then Indie: what you tryna school me in? Indie: all you tellin me is idk what i'm chattin Rio: because you don't Indie: what am i learnin from you that my heads empty? Indie: tell me what you want me to kno Rio: i already said everything i wanted to say 'cos i ain't faking it Rio: so forget it Indie: you callin me out again now Indie: or you just want me to kno how real you is Indie: like i gotta be scared of the flex now Rio: yeah, i'm calling you out Indie: idk how you think you can when i been real w you on all this Indie: but go off girl if you feelin it Rio: That isn't the point, this isn't about me and you Indie: it is when you dragging me for ways i aint livin Rio: bullshit Rio: i'm not going over and over this Indie: ?? Indie: i dont get what you want Rio: just forget it at this point Rio: this isn't productive and it isn't going to be Indie: why tho Rio: Because what, you're going to start asking for help and then what when we just let you down too Rio: There is no solution to all this so if acting fine helps then go for it Rio: There's no point you stopping Indie: i aint gonna ask for no help cos they aint none Indie: its how i told you its mine to carry Indie: i fix what i fix how i do Rio: what exactly are you fixing Indie: are you asking whats wrong or calling out my copin ways? Rio: i know what's wrong Indie: then how you gon say i pretend like im fine Rio: just because you're bad at it doesn't mean you don't Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: yeah Indie: you got jokes still Indie: love that Rio: i told you to stop and i said we weren't doing this but now this is over Indie: make it happen if you want it to Rio: fine Indie: such a ma thing to say Rio: shut up Rio: jesus Indie: go Indie: its what you tryna do Rio: oh is it Rio: what we do best yeah Rio: so you get to be all holier than thou i don't think so Indie: you aint tryna speak to me Indie: so be brave & do what you wanna for real Rio: more chatting with no clue Rio: for fuck sake Indie: you so clued in yeah 👌👌 Indie: my bad for forgetting it like Rio: don't speak to me like that Indie: you only law me i dont law you Rio: yeah that's how it is Indie: i kno Indie: like how i kno that even when you b aware my heart hurts you care about hers more Rio: yeah yeah yeah Rio: why, 'cos we got the same ma? Rio: that don't matter to me Rio: it matters to you two Rio: but act like it's just her, go on Indie: no cos you wont let me fucking speak Indie: & mayb tonite i need to Indie: but you only care about defending her not hearing me Rio: go ahead Rio: you reckon slagging her off is gonna make you feel any better Rio: it won't Indie: you been told me there aint no solutions anyway so whats it matter how i choose Rio: because it hurts me and makes you look dumb Rio: that's why it matters Rio: this isn't about her, it never needed to be Rio: it's about him, as fucking per Indie: its about me Indie: jfc Rio: and what haven't you said then Rio: and how doesn't that prove my point Rio: i asked you what you wanted to do Rio: i said we could go Rio: but you went with the usual like that's what the situation calls for, let me carry on partying and you go get high and act like you ain't thinking on him Rio: as if I'm that fucking stupid and that fucking selfish, I'm here waiting on you Indie: i said idk & i dont Indie: stop Rio: Let's just go Indie: you go if you want but i cant Rio: Nah Rio: nah you don't get to do this Indie: ?? Indie: what i done now Rio: You have to come because you have to talk about this Indie: you aint tryna talk to me no more you been made that obvious Indie: so who you want me to chat to? mckenna? Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I want to talk to you properly Rio: not like this because you won't leave and deal with it like it's actually a big deal Rio: come on Indie: the only big deal is how you be thinking on me Indie: & i aint tryna talk to you bout that anymore than Rio: what are you talking about Indie: all you been doing this whole time is chatting at me bout everything i do wrong for fixing this shit Indie: but telling me you got no means Rio: no i haven't Indie: check back w yourself cos thats how it is, i pretend im fine, i get high, i chat shit thats all wrong Indie: but you aint got no right way for me Rio: how about stop Rio: your taking shit outta context and adding 'em together when that ain't how it was said Indie: its how it feels Rio: well that isn't what i meant Indie: you wanna compare me to her but im doin my best to keep my shit together same as Rio: i only made any comparisons to point out the hypocrisy Rio: there's no need to come for her, trust me, it won't bring you any joy Indie: theres no need but sometimes i wanna Rio: We all do Indie: dont you 👀 now why i cant leave Indie: i aint tryna have my nite end like this Rio: what good do you think's gonna come Indie: i aint need good just not this Indie: get high enough to wipe it out like it was never Rio: doesn't work Rio: i don't know why you want me to be fake with you like it does when i been there and know better Indie: it works for me Indie: it worked for my ma too Rio: if it worked for your ma she would've got off the shit 'cos she'd be off and over your da too Rio: no it fucking doesn't Indie: you say that like he was her only Indie: problems b stacked Rio: loving him was her main Rio: everything else was survivable, don't get that twisted Indie: he was survivable too Rio: you reckon Indie: im surviving him Indie: edie is Indie: astrid will Rio: surviving ain't thriving Indie: maybe i aint get to thrive Indie: maybe i got that twisted Rio: you got some choices to make Indie: not yet Rio: why not? Indie: cos i aint grown Indie: you always b telling me i kno you aint forgot Rio: you haven't got that luxury, that's what you got twisted Rio: with a dad like that, no Indie: what choices i got w my years Indie: gotta go school & rest my head where im told Indie: thats surviving bitch Rio: you gotta choose how you feel about him and how deep you letting it run Indie: i dont get to choose that Indie: dont you get it Indie: hes ruining everything & he aint even here Rio: there's always a choice Rio: you love him like your ma and ro do, he fucks your life up fully Rio: you hate him as much as edie, same Rio: you gotta be the bigger person than him already and fucking live and let live, actually make peace with this shit 'fore it gets you too Indie: nah cos i dont love him or hate him & shits still a mess Indie: idk how to stop it Rio: shit's never not going to be a mess Indie: idk how to make my peace w that Indie: not on a level thats for real Rio: that's what i can't tell you Rio: 'cos me either Indie: then how tf do i stop him ruining me Indie: cept get as close to not feelin anything as i can Indie: but youre telling me no to that Rio: i don't know Rio: feel nothing for him Rio: that's the best i've got Indie: thats how im tryna be Indie: idk what happy is but i kno what starting a day high feels like Indie: how possible it makes shit feel & how invincible i am to anything i dont want Rio: go get high thenIndie: where you @? Indie: lost u in the heads & smoke like Rio: I know, fucking madness ain't it Rio: never gets old Rio: What's up tho? Indie: get off mckenna for a few i need to chat Indie: 😏😏😂😂 Indie: dunno how to spit this Indie: imma just Indie: drews back in the pen lookin @ a fresh stretch Rio: Hush child 😜 Rio: Oh shit Rio: Really? Rio: Any day to get caught, like Rio: he must've been weighed tf down, man Rio: How you feeling on it, babe? Indie: innit tho Indie: vexed i didnt get my share for the feds hit him up Indie: but fr idk man Indie: he trying to play like he sorry & he wants to see my face if his gotta keep in there Rio: Hmm Rio: It's like, does he mean it or is it 'cos it's long in there, like Rio: Not trying to be a cunt genuinely questioning like we gonna get any sort of answer Indie: i told my auntie he sorry for heself only Indie: i feel that Indie: i not trying to 🤡 for him so the pen aint dry Indie: & he aint trying to see my sis face Indie: either of Rio: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to take a baby to prison, can you fucking imagine Rio: least of all Ro sat there like Rio: Jesus Rio: Well, you know I've got your back Rio: if he means it he'll bell you himself once he's in and knows wtf he's doing Rio: but I'm with you with as much as we know now, fuck that, some time away will do us all some good Indie: if former step ma stepped her foot in there shed be shook beyond belief Indie: no jokes Indie: it got me feelin some type of way bad tho like i willed it Indie: cos i wanted him gone from me & the younger Indie: but how long he gets depends she might not kno him lowkey ever Indie: ro aint want him around now she aint gon forgive & forget welcomin him back to the table once he jailbroke Rio: Init Rio: Might be the culture shock she needs but even I ain't gonna say she deserves, like Rio: Nah, dash that, serious Rio: it's always been a risk of how he's living, whether right or wrong, wanted or not, it's just facts Rio: they caught him slipping, nothing to do with how much he been slipping with you and that whole situation Rio: It ain't gonna be like that, system's a joke, yeah? Rio: Idk about that though but if he proper wants to see Astrid then there's ways to make that happen, just he's never put that level of effort in, ever Indie: im heavy w this Indie: aint trying to need this tonite of all nights Indie: gus & di already 👀 edie early Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 coming off Indie: mayb i gotta just bounce from here Rio: I know, babe Rio: you don't have to Rio: no one wants you to go Indie: i aint about wanting that but 💔💔💔💔 u kno Rio: if you gotta Rio: I get it Rio: but you don't need to stay gone, yeah Rio: like Edie doesn't Indie: idk where my boys are i cant be runnin these streets rn Indie: the feds are proper extra Indie: decision makes itself Rio: Yeah they gotta be out in full force Rio: it ain't safe for you to bounce alone, everyone's lairy Rio: We can go home if you want, night close to over neway? Indie: naaaaah you and mckenna got few slow dances to still do Indie: he feelin lucky still & 😍😍😍😍 Indie: he gonna have to bounce heself in like a day Indie: gotta let him have this Rio: Fuck that Rio: you're my priority Rio: what you wanna do, forreal? Indie: idk Indie: but if we bounce drews killed the vibe & i aint want that for myself either Indie: ill track lo cos bros a walking party innit Indie: bound to make a change Indie: find me when you done riding your mans Rio: Yeah Rio: Alright then, sounds good to me Rio: In a few, bitch Indie: i love you Indie: serious Rio: I love you more Rio: Always have, always will Rio: This ain't gonna fuck with no thing, we on the up and up, still Indie: yeah u kno i aint tryna let this make me slip too Indie: thats his Rio: It alright if you do, I'm here to catch you Rio: we all are Indie: i got something in my eye now bitch Indie: 😭😭😭 Rio: No one will know, all the smoke that's about just reckon you wayyyy faded Indie: truuuuu Indie: but in this facepaint w this much 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 pride not a mood 👌👌 Rio: Soz about it 😏 Indie: speaking of Indie: ask mckenna if he gon lips me or what bitch i been waitin since he shown up Rio: 😲😣 Rio: the nerve to ask me that Indie: he looking daddy af & you kno it Indie: i got dem issues proven so Indie: come thru boyyy Rio: 😂 Rio: we gon' have issues if he come away with green lips thank you Rio: post up Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: what can i say it b that posh knitwear 😍😍😍😍 Indie: who else b dressin like that cept his actual father Indie: im creased Rio: you want his ma after you too Rio: deathwish like you tryna go out on dem streets with a union jack on you Indie: nah she my girl now Indie: loves me real deep Rio: is it? Indie: now she aint catch me face deep in her fridge like Indie: the actual Indie: not some dirty type words there Indie: she b cold but i aint tryna say no thing about in the sheets Rio: 😂😂😂 Rio: you ain't the only one creased now Rio: fucking hell Indie: plot twist fam i be coming for other mckennas 🌈👑 & out here w her own ma Indie: soz bout it Rio: that'd be mad shaming Rio: no living that hypocrisy down, bea Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: nah but girls aint do no thing for me like that Indie: they too soft Rio: Shame, such a soft butch dream, babe 😉 Indie: is it? Indie: that b how im friendzoned by my dream boy rn then Rio: 💔 Rio: gutting Indie: for him Indie: cos im 🔥🔥🔥 and he aint kno Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: that's my girl Indie: mayb he 🌈🌈🌈 omf u think? Rio: Could be Rio: idk how he living that hard myself but you know Indie: i gotta ask other mckenna how i can 👀 Indie: is junie still here too? Rio: I hope she's fun drunk so you don't get a rant Rio: nah, he left a while ago, I 👀 him sneaking out but it's a day for Irish goodbyes so let him live, like Indie: o Indie: ill run him a text rn Rio: i ever teach u how to be tactful or nah Rio: might need a mama moment 😏 Indie: wys Indie: i aint kno what that mean even Rio: it just means chillin' even when you hyped, 'cos the other person might not be, like Rio: he ain't livin' that pride life Rio: not 'bout being 🍀 like Indie: ooooooooooooo Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: y tho? Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a process Rio: being comfortable with who you is Indie: how you gon b uncomfy w it Indie: lifes long Rio: plenty out there give u reasons why depending on who you is Rio: but it's just in you Rio: it's hard to explain when that ain't how you is but he is, always has been Indie: dash that Indie: poor baby boy Rio: I know Indie: ill just text him love Rio: you cute Indie: ��💖💖💖 Indie: feelin it Rio: lookin' it Rio: 💘 Indie: shhh allow it Indie: nah man Rio: what you chattin' Rio: you beautiful Indie: not this nite bitch Rio: every night bitch Indie: hype girl vibes is it Indie: kkk Rio: shh i'm only a tiny bit drunk and feeling the luv Rio: also accidental racism come thru there Indie: o snap Indie: my bad Indie: not tryna dash you off that hard Rio: 😂 Rio: though if you ever need to Rio: like, cold but damn Indie: dont even play Indie: omf Rio: though so many whiteys in one place rn we could start a rally Indie: innit Indie: waste Rio: you're happy, aren't you indie Indie: bout what? Indie: what you mean? Rio: in general Rio: i mean Rio: you're okay, yeah Indie: idk baby im me in general Indie: just livin Rio: Hmm Indie: is you? Rio: Yeah Rio: I just want all of you to be too Indie: how you kno tho? Indie: whats the feelin? Rio: Happy? Indie: yeah how is it? Rio: it's like Rio: when you was a kid Rio: but you old enough to appreciate how good it is now Indie: so mckenna makes you feel like you lil Rio: no Rio: it's not like that, or that it's just him Rio: idk Indie: its like a good high or? Rio: not really Rio: it's like, no matter what shit is was or will be Rio: you still good Rio: nothing touches it Indie: yeah? Indie: thats a madness Indie: no wonder you two b amp af Rio: it's security Rio: i think Indie: thats wild Indie: how i b getting myself some of that shit like Rio: i'm no expert Rio: but i think u gotta know yourself, be comfy with it, know what you want and then be tryna get it Rio: and have good people 'round you who are solid too Rio: that's what i reckon anyway but who knows everything could go to shit and then this'll be awks Indie: nah you good Indie: like i said afore mckenna b cuffed now Indie: what i hear you sayin is i need a mans cos i kno myself & where i wanna get Indie: & i got heads all around Rio: hmm Rio: i don't remember saying that 😂 Indie: well i b sayin safe all the time but i aint b feelin no safety Indie: thats whats missin only from what you listin Indie: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Rio: maybe it ain't as simple as i think then Rio: maybe if there's one wobbly brick, it all comes tumblin' down Rio: weakest link shit Indie: i feel that Rio: yeah Rio: i ain't know how to fix that Rio: i'm still happy Rio: most the time Indie: 💖💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: thats sick Indie: im hyped for you Rio: maybe i'm selfish then hmm Indie: naaah Indie: aint no thing wrong w feelin any type way Rio: but if you ain't and edie ain't and so many other people ain't Rio: then i shouldn't, like u can't 'cos of all this stuff Indie: me & edie too 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 to know how we is Rio: that ain't good either Rio: i should do more i'm being too easy on myself now Indie: dash that Indie: you doin the most for me Indie: all in Indie: & she aint tryna let anyone do anything you kno Rio: i should just do it Rio: not give her the option Rio: we all should Rio: she's just a kid Rio: a kid who don't know what's good for her rn Indie: now i kno you drunk babe Indie: how you gon achieve it? Indie: cant help heads that aint want it Rio: lock her in her room 'til she ready to be good Rio: i know you can't but Rio: we failed her Rio: period Indie: if you lookin for that room to be trashed go off Indie: it aint none of you that failed her Indie: you kno who it was Rio: he never even tried Rio: not once Indie: & thats how it aint matter what you do Indie: it aint bout you Indie: none of Rio: it's fucked up Rio: 'cos you from him you don't get to be happy? what the fuck is that Indie: life bitch Indie: we aint get to choose where we from Rio: nah Rio: nah, that's bullshit i ain't having it Indie: it aint yours to have or to carry thats what im sayin Rio: no, fuck that Rio: don't you get that's exactly what he'd say and how he's living Rio: oh my mum didn't love me and so this is how i am, end of Rio: no growth no change no nothing Rio: he didn't have to do it like that just 'cos Rio: he made choices and you can too, both of you Indie: he didnt have to do no thing but i cant make him behave like you cant her Indie: they gon do what they gon do Indie: shes making her choices rn based on how she viewin none of us can get in her 👀 and get shit untwisted if she aint want Rio: she isn't like him Rio: don't say it like she is Indie: how she not? Indie: she got everything & all she see is what she think she aint got Rio: she just ain't alright Rio: we ain't doing this rn Indie: she is tho Indie: where she now? gone like how he do running from what she has like he do Indie: it aint exactly how they want it so they aint want it Rio: i mean it Rio: stop Indie: you gonna law me now Indie: is that how we doin Rio: you don't know what you're talking about Rio: i don't wanna listen Indie: you wish i aint kno Indie: thats why you dont wanna hear Rio: you're saying all this like you reckon you're better Rio: you don't know Rio: he chose you Rio: you don't know what it's like to be her Indie: what i kno is i used to chat at myself every nite wishing your rents would keep me and she dashes them over so hard it breaks them Indie: what i kno is they chose her & got mad love and what his is better cos he was inside your ma for a few? nah Indie: what i kno is that he was backed into a corner over me cos my ma fucked died Indie: yours gotta b punished cos she was strong enough to do her job fuck that Indie: im better cos im here & im real bout and on all this Rio: you don't think she don't know that Rio: you don't think it's half the root of her fucking problem Rio: lucky edie and poor indie Rio: so just stop because this ain't nothing i don't know, her too Rio: it's already on her without you ever saying it Indie: you say that like she wearing it Indie: she aint Rio: you blame her Rio: she wants to be drew's kid as little as you do, you'd be an idiot to believe her when she says opposite Rio: there's no points for being real here, she's not stupid, she knows what's up and it's fucked, you've got your ways of coping, she's got hers Rio: neither fucking work, clearly Indie: she blames me for more than ill ever blame her for Indie: & she aint tryna be anybody or anybodys Rio: nah Rio: she feels sorry for you though and that don't sit right does it Rio: because you should be sharing on it together yeah? but that ain't ever gonna happen because he didn't once claim her so you don't get to be sisters Rio: she don't know how to be Indie: bitch so do you it just came right out your mouth then & there 👌👌 Indie: & nah that aint sit right w me cos i aint ask to be none of you or your fam charity Indie: but i dont need her to be my sister no more than i need him to step up for me in any type of way Indie: i made my peace Rio: bullshit Rio: just like you say you safe but you ain't you say that but it's a crock of shit Rio: at least she isn't pretending to be fine Indie: u aint heard me say im fine Indie: but am i ghosting nah Rio: you always say it Rio: bet you told Meena you were too Indie: if you thinkin you hearing that from me you aint listenin Indie: i aint being real w her how i am w you cos she aint need that Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: and Edie don't wanna be anybody's Rio: she's your family, we're your family too Rio: she might not be here but you may as well not be the way you try and shrink yourself to not be part of the 'Drew' problem, no bother to no one Indie: if thats how you want it ill bounce too then Rio: did i say that Indie: you are w how youre coming for me rn Rio: you started it Indie: nah Indie: i aint come for you once this whole time Rio: you came for her Indie: she aint you Rio: she's my sister Rio: and she's not here to defend herself Indie: bitch me too Indie: & she wouldnt defend herself if she was Rio: i know Rio: and that doesn't matter Rio: i still have to Indie: you cant have it all ways either im fam and shes my sister too or im separate and i cant speak on it Indie: how you want it Rio: nah Rio: we don't speak on it don't act like you ain't noticed Rio: you don't call each other out that's not what we do Indie: then i aint trying to be w none of you Indie: cos thats bait Rio: Fine Indie: you call me out any time it suits you to do it Rio: bitch when Indie: when i got inked you had plenty to say about it Indie: & when i got dashed before then Rio: telling you your shit boyfriend is shit and you're making an idiot out of yourself is entirely different to coming for her life and her entire being Rio: if you can fix it you can say it Indie: theres plenty of shit that could have been said to her afore it got to this Indie: but nah just come for my life tonite stead like Rio: i done said we failed her Rio: you think i don't know Indie: i aint tryna tell you how you think Indie: or what you kno Rio: nah come on Rio: you had all the answers 5 seconds ago Indie: fuck that Indie: & you if thats how you wanna be Rio: whatever Indie: pretend like you aint got no more to say like how i pretend im fine 👌👌 Indie: its chill Rio: you ain't listening Rio: i'm not wasting breath Indie: bitch im here where you think i is Indie: if i aint listening i be out Rio: you ain't ready to learn then Indie: what you tryna school me in? Indie: all you tellin me is idk what i'm chattin Rio: because you don't Indie: what am i learnin from you that my heads empty? Indie: tell me what you want me to kno Rio: i already said everything i wanted to say 'cos i ain't faking it Rio: so forget it Indie: you callin me out again now Indie: or you just want me to kno how real you is Indie: like i gotta be scared of the flex now Rio: yeah, i'm calling you out Indie: idk how you think you can when i been real w you on all this Indie: but go off girl if you feelin it Rio: That isn't the point, this isn't about me and you Indie: it is when you dragging me for ways i aint livin Rio: bullshit Rio: i'm not going over and over this Indie: ?? Indie: i dont get what you want Rio: just forget it at this point Rio: this isn't productive and it isn't going to be Indie: why tho Rio: Because what, you're going to start asking for help and then what when we just let you down too Rio: There is no solution to all this so if acting fine helps then go for it Rio: There's no point you stopping Indie: i aint gonna ask for no help cos they aint none Indie: its how i told you its mine to carry Indie: i fix what i fix how i do Rio: what exactly are you fixing Indie: are you asking whats wrong or calling out my copin ways? Rio: i know what's wrong Indie: then how you gon say i pretend like im fine Rio: just because you're bad at it doesn't mean you don't Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: yeah Indie: you got jokes still Indie: love that Rio: i told you to stop and i said we weren't doing this but now this is over Indie: make it happen if you want it to Rio: fine Indie: such a ma thing to say Rio: shut up Rio: jesus Indie: go Indie: its what you tryna do Rio: oh is it Rio: what we do best yeah Rio: so you get to be all holier than thou i don't think so Indie: you aint tryna speak to me Indie: so be brave & do what you wanna for real Rio: more chatting with no clue Rio: for fuck sake Indie: you so clued in yeah 👌👌 Indie: my bad for forgetting it like Rio: don't speak to me like that Indie: you only law me i dont law you Rio: yeah that's how it is Indie: i kno Indie: like how i kno that even when you b aware my heart hurts you care about hers more Rio: yeah yeah yeah Rio: why, 'cos we got the same ma? Rio: that don't matter to me Rio: it matters to you two Rio: but act like it's just her, go on Indie: no cos you wont let me fucking speak Indie: & mayb tonite i need to Indie: but you only care about defending her not hearing me Rio: go ahead Rio: you reckon slagging her off is gonna make you feel any better Rio: it won't Indie: you been told me there aint no solutions anyway so whats it matter how i choose Rio: because it hurts me and makes you look dumb Rio: that's why it matters Rio: this isn't about her, it never needed to be Rio: it's about him, as fucking per Indie: its about me Indie: jfc Rio: and what haven't you said then Rio: and how doesn't that prove my point Rio: i asked you what you wanted to do Rio: i said we could go Rio: but you went with the usual like that's what the situation calls for, let me carry on partying and you go get high and act like you ain't thinking on him Rio: as if I'm that fucking stupid and that fucking selfish, I'm here waiting on you Indie: i said idk & i dont Indie: stop Rio: Let's just go Indie: you go if you want but i cant Rio: Nah Rio: nah you don't get to do this Indie: ?? Indie: what i done now Rio: You have to come because you have to talk about this Indie: you aint tryna talk to me no more you been made that obvious Indie: so who you want me to chat to? mckenna? Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I want to talk to you properly Rio: not like this because you won't leave and deal with it like it's actually a big deal Rio: come on Indie: the only big deal is how you be thinking on me Indie: & i aint tryna talk to you bout that anymore than Rio: what are you talking about Indie: all you been doing this whole time is chatting at me bout everything i do wrong for fixing this shit Indie: but telling me you got no means Rio: no i haven't Indie: check back w yourself cos thats how it is, i pretend im fine, i get high, i chat shit thats all wrong Indie: but you aint got no right way for me Rio: how about stop Rio: your taking shit outta context and adding 'em together when that ain't how it was said Indie: its how it feels Rio: well that isn't what i meant Indie: you wanna compare me to her but im doin my best to keep my shit together same as Rio: i only made any comparisons to point out the hypocrisy Rio: there's no need to come for her, trust me, it won't bring you any joy Indie: theres no need but sometimes i wanna Rio: We all do Indie: dont you 👀 now why i cant leave Indie: i aint tryna have my nite end like this Rio: what good do you think's gonna come Indie: i aint need good just not this Indie: get high enough to wipe it out like it was never Rio: doesn't work Rio: i don't know why you want me to be fake with you like it does when i been there and know better Indie: it works for me Indie: it worked for my ma too Rio: if it worked for your ma she would've got off the shit 'cos she'd be off and over your da too Rio: no it fucking doesn't Indie: you say that like he was her only Indie: problems b stacked Rio: loving him was her main Rio: everything else was survivable, don't get that twisted Indie: he was survivable too Rio: you reckon Indie: im surviving him Indie: edie is Indie: astrid will Rio: surviving ain't thriving Indie: maybe i aint get to thrive Indie: maybe i got that twisted Rio: you got some choices to make Indie: not yet Rio: why not? Indie: cos i aint grown Indie: you always b telling me i kno you aint forgot Rio: you haven't got that luxury, that's what you got twisted Rio: with a dad like that, no Indie: what choices i got w my years Indie: gotta go school & rest my head where im told Indie: thats surviving bitch Rio: you gotta choose how you feel about him and how deep you letting it run Indie: i dont get to choose that Indie: dont you get it Indie: hes ruining everything & he aint even here Rio: there's always a choice Rio: you love him like your ma and ro do, he fucks your life up fully Rio: you hate him as much as edie, same Rio: you gotta be the bigger person than him already and fucking live and let live, actually make peace with this shit 'fore it gets you too Indie: nah cos i dont love him or hate him & shits still a mess Indie: idk how to stop it Rio: shit's never not going to be a mess Indie: idk how to make my peace w that Indie: not on a level thats for real Rio: that's what i can't tell you Rio: 'cos me either Indie: then how tf do i stop him ruining me Indie: cept get as close to not feelin anything as i can Indie: but youre telling me no to that Rio: i don't know Rio: feel nothing for him Rio: that's the best i've got Indie: thats how im tryna be Indie: idk what happy is but i kno what starting a day high feels like Indie: how possible it makes shit feel & how invincible i am to anything i dont want Rio: go get high then Indie: but youll leave Rio: I ain't trying be that, that's not how it is for me Indie: i love you Indie: tell me how it should be Rio: I love you too Rio: I just meant I'm not going to sit around and get high with you too, I can't Rio: you've got your friends for that Rio: I'll be at home Indie: dont go without me Indie: ill come with Indie: i meant how i said i aint tryna go looking for them Rio: Okay Rio: come on then Indie: is mckenna gonna be vexed at me now too Rio: i'm not Rio: first of all Rio: and why would he be Indie: cos i want you to stay w me Rio: no, he'll get it Rio: i'm not with him anyway, i told you, i've been waiting for you, no sense him too Rio: probably go home with his da Indie: but he aint here for long Indie: im not tryna do you like that serious Rio: trust me, it's fine Rio: let me worry about him as and when Indie: ok Indie: im sorry for how i chatted Indie: doin you & edie dirty Rio: I'm sorry too, things got heated and potentially things were said that shouldn't, or at least said in unhelpful ways Rio: I just want good things for you, I just want you to be alright Rio: both of you, equally as much Indie: i kno Indie: & trust my head & heart wont b this rinsed always Indie: its just Rio: it literally just happened, it's still sinking in if at all Rio: no matter how many times, you were too young on a lot of 'em to feel it how you do now Rio: not dissing Meena on how she did it either but idk, not tonight Indie: i really thought on him stepping up for astrid Indie: thats so chief of me but Indie: & i was so high when she told me Rio: I know Rio: I thought he might too but Rio: just say he didn't have the chance now yeah Rio: like how he didn't with Edie 'cos Ma wouldn't be with him Rio: whatever Rio: and I'm drunk, we need to go to bed Rio: it'll be there in the morning Indie: youll be there too yeah no drunk rollin out the bed like Rio: of course Rio: i might need to throw up and lay on the tiles for a bit but i'm an adult, you'll never even clock Indie: imma join cos can we all stop acting that guinness aint filth Indie: what mckenna on bout man Indie: he aint even from here Rio: 😂 Rio: it's so heavy, barely ate 'cos I feel like I been feasting all day Rio: really helps with getting you pished faster, nicely played Guinness Indie: it taste how when i was little & watchin your ma fix her truck & put this old spanner in my mouth Rio: So legit Rio: Be the iron Rio: should get Ro on 'em forreal Indie: put her on a drip Indie: proper drs orders soz step ma Indie: pint in the vein Rio: Imagine mainlining booze Rio: people would, especially today, no fucking chill Indie: unhectic Indie: nah ty Indie: but yeah even my 🐶 be on his feral hype rn jam baby boy Rio: He too lil, that carling did him in Indie: who tf Indie: he needs zzzzzzzzzzzs too Indie: mckenna be shit dog daddy Rio: just don't take away the dog part of that Rio: he'd be gutted Indie: just dont let him put a 👶 in you Indie: im savin you tonite but aint be there all time Rio: Behave Rio: I won't Indie: we all 👀 him holding my younger like she 💣 Indie: never done seen a boy so scared Rio: he got reasons Rio: nah no Rio: dash that Indie: wys Indie: cos his younger? Rio: yeah Indie: how old would he be? its a madness Rio: Like... Rio: God Rio: 8? Rio: Bit younger than Gus Indie: he'd be running w him & di Rio: Yeah Rio: Now I wanna cry all over again Indie: soz Indie: i love dem boys tho Indie: how would he be lookin? mckenna & other mckenna are so different for twins like Rio: init Rio: god knows Rio: cute tho Indie: frecks for days i reckon Indie: their das skipped em Rio: awh Indie: like di but not as cute cos u kno Indie: he 😍😍😍 Rio: yeah he a babe Rio: changed my mind want a baby broody now Indie: i aint tryna see the footage of me he got today tho wildin Indie: i wanna have so many 👶👶👶👶👶 Indie: but in years Rio: he a menace with that 📹 Rio: but he does know angles so 🤞 Rio: years and years and years, don't need to repeat ma Indie: he gon be somebody w dem skillz Indie: yeah man i wanna be 👵 af fore i start Indie: like ro Rio: i don't wanna be that old Rio: how i gonna be a MILF then Indie: u kno catch me @ 25 Indie: i aint got chill Indie: & you a milf now bitch hello Rio: you know i ain't but i'll have to live vicariously probs Rio: 😘 ty Indie: mckenna will step up to b a real daddy you all good Rio: it makes it too real Rio: stick with my imaginary dream baby daddy Indie: you got a 💎💍💎 girl how fake is it Indie: mhmmm tho who he be? 😏😏😏😏 Rio: this diamond be so real bitch Rio: wys Indie: lemme bite it Indie: nah thats porcelain yeah Indie: idk Indie: gold? Indie: its something Rio: 😂 child you feral Rio: stay away from my hand and my bling Indie: rude Indie: speaking on imma start climbin if i cant get thru these heads towards you soon Indie: dont get the wrong idea lads Rio: it's literally ridiculous Rio: can't see a damn thing but buster n his da 'cos they freaky giants, head for them like they a landmark bitch Indie: ive shouted well much native 👅 & these wasteman aint tryna no none Indie: fake 🍀 three times removed or what boyyys Rio: that's the real tea Rio: yanks be out here with their st pattys like bitch no Indie: gingers too Indie: it aint make you one of us cos you 🥕 Indie: if you repin you repin Rio: @Nance next time babe Indie: ill say it in irish she aint kno Indie: posh girl Rio: 😶 savage Rio: omg Indie: she wearin the colours but she aint got her mouth round them sounds soz bout it Indie: my ma aint kno none either tho what a madness Rio: s'a dying language babe, loads natives don't even Indie: hacks Indie: we can say how we want Rio: imma text granddad and be like put on danny boy Rio: get 'em emosh, be easier to get out Indie: 👑👑👑 moves Indie: til i get something in my eye again & cant find my way out Rio: you don't work in pubs long as i did without knowing how to calm a crowd babe Indie: innit tho Rio: ooh, I see you Rio: swerve them or imma have to explain Indie: 👀 & 👂s baby Indie: ✌✌✌✌
0 notes
swearronchanel · 8 years ago
Text
As per request, 2.05
You guys have been so freaking sweet and kind  to me with your feedback since I started making these ridiculous posts, it’s insane but I love it!❣️ I literally started these as a joke because my one friend who watches call the midwife didn’t pick up the phone (and bc I was under the influence whoops hahaha it happens) but now I have so much fun posting every week! I’m sure I won’t stop these any time soon (what will I do when this series is over until Christmas? Yikes lets not talk about it yet)  Anyways @marialujan22 requested I rewatch and post for 2x5 & shit it’s been a while since I’ve watched series 2 but I couldn’t say no! Besides Im in a good mood because I have 10 days till spring break & only like 8 weeks left in the semester so here we go ..
idk if I’m mentally prepared for this
THE BIKE SONG I LOVE IT
“Somewhere far away, scientist we’re working on a magic pill, rumored to make pregnancy a case of choice..” Hell yea birth control, deff a magic pill in my opinion
Crazy that it took 3 series for the pill to become a thing & then there was still lame ass government guidelines
Jenny Lee! lol I often forget about her sorry not sorry, I liked her but she left. ya no importa
I love how “mature jenny” still narrates even though her character is never even mentioned anymore #letmenarrate lol jk I like Vanessa Redgrave’s voice
“Meanwhile other scientists were trying to send humans to the moon” fuck yea Hidden Figures
If CtM went up until 1969 that’d be lit, like the episode on mad men when they watched the moon landing! Just replace them with nuns and nurses and babies & replace the liquor for tea 😂
Shit I’ve said typed so much already
SISTER MJ💕 I wanna smack myself she’s brushing her teeth & I thought of that stupid toothbrush song from last week’s episode kill me
Nora’s pregnant again uh oh
Cynthia! SISTER E! Jane! It’s been so long
My bby Trixie 💕😍 I miss her pin curls! But now she’s serving those 60s looks so I’m here for it all
“Take that off this minute before you go to hell” LMAO TRIX YOU CANT TELL KIDS THAT
lol who am I kidding I would’ve said the same
I love sister Monica Joan, id quote everything she ever says but that’s too much work
Vicar’s wife? But who was the vicar?
LMAO WAIT DOESNT SISTER MJ FAKE A HEART ATTACK??
YES SHE DID IM DEAD I LOVE HER, WELL IT WAS LIKE ANGINA BUT IDC STILL FUNNY CAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA GO
PRECIOUS SISTER BERNADETTE 😭💕
I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY BBY SHELAGH WAS A NUN, ITS SO STRANGE TO GO BACK AND SEE HER IN THE HABIT, LIKE YOURE PREGNANT NOW, WITH DR TURNERS BABYYY!!
anyone else really wanted to know how she was going to tell Sister Julienne “um i was already done with being a nun and now im love sick, I can’t stop thinking about Dr Turner so  I gotta ditch this habit”
damn I feel so bad like she did not want another baby & had no choice but to deal with it
No Jenny, tea is not gonna help right now
And heres the lady that scammed her
How much is 2 guinnis ? Idk how to spell that u already know I’m an ignorant American
Did she really tell a married woman keep her legs closed? It Doesn’t even matter if she was married or not like who are u anyway?? I would’ve bitch slapped her too, good for u Nora
Sister MJ saying her horoscope was right, we are the same😭
Wtf is spotted dick? Also I laughed because I’m immature Lmaoo
Sister J eating the pudding, she knows how to get to sister MJ 😂 I love them
Trixie teasing Jane about the Reverend lol aw
“I can’t knit I had a heart attack this morning” ME TRYING TO GET OUT OF THINGS
8 kids in one bedroom though yikes
Cute and classic bedroom moments 😭💕
“Naughty version of eggnog” like coquito? Lol nah, coquito is the bomb
IM CRYING SISTER BERNADETTE LOOKING IN THE DOORWAY
THIS BREAKS MY HEART EVERYTIME
THEY FUCKING CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER, MY BBY. I WANT TO HUG HER 💔💔💔 she deserves the world
Who is this irrelevant ass vicars wife? “Cherrio”
I’m so sorry Nora
Ew wtf a rat just bit the baby?
“Just tell me what you want sister” SHE WANTS YOU DOCTOR
THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG IM SHOOK
WHAT THE HELL TIM WHY DID YOU RUIN THE MOMENT ?!
sister MJ wants to roll bandages, make it happen! lol I love that Cynthia and Jane unwrap them all for her 😭
Aww i love babies !! but that one with a funny nose uhh
SISTER BERNADETTE BLOWING THE WHISTLE AND CHEERING 💕 MY HEART SHE IS SO ADORABLE
Aw I wish Trixie could have another scene going through old pictures and maybe share old stories with the new nurses💔 unlikely but you know I can hope. SHE DID HAVE THAT PHOTO OF HER AND CYNTHIA ON HER MIRROR LAST SUNDAY💕
“I’m a woman on a mission” beatrix, light in my life
Curly locks lol, when I was younger I  was called Shirley temple and when I dyed my hair I was called Goldie locks.. mind u that lasted into high school 😂 I’m staying blonde for good though, I don’t think I can pull off anything else
DONT GO OUT WITH HIM TRIXIE, HE’S TRASH
Laura Main’s angelic voice ✨👼🏼
who am I kidding she’s an angel
you know what would be fun and a dream? to go out with the ctm cast and get drunk and take trashy snapchat videos singing
Gin & a hot bath??
Trixie looked him up lol, good move
BUT HE’S STILL TRASH and an asshole
Pickle knife ?
again, this irrelevant vicar’s wife? vete ya
Everyone thinks Sister MJ is senile but she knows what’s up with Sister Bernadette..
“..but is all blank sadness and continued tears”  MY HEART💔 sister Bernadette/Shelagh has spent the majority of this show crying/being sad/distressed ugh!! Laura Main plays is beautifully but I CRY!? Let her be uninterruptedly happy please 😭💕
she (and helen) ruined me tbh, I used to have dignity
Is Jenny really naive or is she just pretending not to understand??
SEE SISTER BERNADETTE IS ON SCREEN AGAIN & IS UPSET
“I almost wish I was physically ill..” okay bRb CRYIN. THIS IS WHY I CANT WATCH THESE OLDER EPISODES I CRY TOO MUCH, I DONT LIKE TO SEE HER UNHAPPY
Remember when I started the show and didn’t know it was gonna ruin my life? Or before I grew attached? Yea me neither lmaoo those were the days when I thought downton killed me. I Didn’t know what was coming 😂 still love downton though rip #downtonmoviepls
Knitting needles?? aye dios mio
HA GREMLIN TIM AND JACK
Again how much is a gunniea and how do I spell it? I could google it but I’m busy here
She was willing to sell her wedding ring and risk her life for an unprofessional abortion. DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE? This isn’t just the a period drama either. Shit is real
“Are babies more valued because they can survive or do they survive beside they are more valued?” good question sis
lol Jane was so sweet and just bounced with no word
AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE SHE WENT THOUGH, THANKS FOR THAT NZ CUT SCENE
Trixie being a babe and getting ready to do her nails 😍💕 I wish I could do mine well but I’m trash and so I pay to get them done
The cross cutting in this scene is crazy but so well done (& yes look at me using real terms lol, I took a Music in film class last semester and had to know editing techniques 😂, I did fairly well too)
I really don’t know how she survived this
My bby trixie looking gorgeous as per usual. I love her so much, Helen u kill me
NO COÑFIO TRIXIE, HE’S NO GOOD
Haha why did I not remember the Gone With The Wind reference? Cynthia was so cute, I miss her carefree and happy
FRECO MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND, YOU ARE TRASH.
HE’S FICTIONAL BUT ID STILL FIGHT HIM
my poor bby😭💔 it is not your fault , he’s trash!! But this moment between the nurses warmed my cold heart
“Matrons in charge, virgins of iron” 😭😭
Aw Earth Angel playing, ✨🎼 I highkey pop to 50s/60s pandora stations
Jenny yes it’s illegal but do you think that matters rn??
TIM AS MAID MARION LMAO
Sister Bernadette looking at Dr Turner ah omg 😭they’ve come so far.
It’s not your fault Jenny but you should’ve told someone
Sister B & Tim won 👏🏼
LMAO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT POST “WOAH CALM DOWN IM JUST TRYNA DATE YOUR DAD”
and she’s down, and the glasses flew
“You’ve hurt your hand” “well I’m sure there’s no need to amputate” ah sister b/shelagh lowkey has some of the funniest lines she just slips them in and people miss them !!
Here it comes ..
THE MOMENT..
“Would you like me to have a look at that?” UHM YEA
No but seriously I can barely remember what I thought when I first watched this but I knew something was gonna happen because a nurse can handle her own damn cut & well you know, she was in love with him
HE KISSED HER HAND. A fucking doctor kissed a nuns hand people, how scandalous & this was THE MOMENT I KNEW I WAS CORRUPT AND WAS GOING TO HELL, I AM SATAN I WANTED THE DOCTOR TO KISS A FREAKING NUN ON THE MOUTH LIKE WTF WHO RAISED ME? MY MOTHER WANTED IT TOO SO IDK BUT THIS KILLED ME, LIKE R.I.P HERE LIES GABBY, I WAS IN THE GROUND DECEASED. I’m actual trash. Someone dispose of me in the proper bin #recyle
for real, this is when I really knew that I was never going to love any other show like this and I allowed it to ruin me
BUT HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? THATS A BOLD MOVE
BOLD IN GENERAL BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF SHE LIKES YOU BUT BOLD x1000 BC SHE IS A NUN, YOU KNOW MARRIED TO GOD, VOW OF CHASITY AND ALL THAt??
What if she would’ve freaked tf out or told sister Julienne? I don’t even know. I’ll just be grateful for how things turned out
“At this moment I only know I’m not turning my back on you because of you but I’m doing it because of him” AHHHH, DONT WORRY BBY GOD LOVES U AND UNDERSTANDS YOU LOVE HIM AND THE DOCTOR, LOSE THAT HABIT AND GO PROPERLY KISS PATRICK 😭
Sister MJ judging the baby contest is the purest thing & I need it to cleanse my disgusting soul that wants a dr to get with a nun #notsorrythough
“In Nonnatus we were good at tending other’s wounds and there were times I felt we were all each other’s children..” brb I’m crying I love that they’re like a family 😭💕💔
I’m so happy they didn’t kill Nora and she actually was happy in the end. I really wasn’t sure for a moment (obviously when I first watched lol)
“ Free reliable contraception came too late to help her, but in time the scientists triumphed. Her daughters and granddaughters lives remained transfigured, long after man left fleeting footprints on the moon.” Vanessa always knowing what to say in the end.
Lets see how the pill is going to be reintroduced this series, I’m interested  in how it’s going to play out.
I’ve said that so many times though so I’ll be done
The End.
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tayegi · 8 years ago
Note
Equilibrium is blowing my mind 😮😮😮 I never expected jungkook to suddenly turn into some possessive psycho jerk 😨😨 I really hope he gets his shit together. What the flying f*ck 😱😱😱 In fact It'd be cool if Jin suddenly showed up with food and The OC leaves that chaotic relationship for food 😂😂😂😂 EVRYONE WOULD PICK FOOD OVER RELATIONSHIPS. right ? Am i the only one lol *cries*
AHHHH THANK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR THEIR LOVELY ASKS!!! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE HEALTHY, NON-PROBLEMATIC REACTIONS TO GROSS, CONTROLLING MEN! 
Anonymous said:Sorry for being late to the party lol, but I just read the new update of Equilibrium and I felt so fucking anxious and scared for the oc. I don't know how in the hell, some ppl find jungkook's actions hot when he is literally being psychotic and obsessive. Especially the part when he told her 'You'll regret it', he's basically threatening her there. It's obvious the whole relationship they have is toxic af and it only seems to be getting worse as time passes. Apart from that, have a nice day!
Anonymous said:OMG EQUILIBRIUM 11 Omg I still have goosebumps, like Jungkook was being so fucking possessive it scared the shit out of me. Even tho It was a shitty move for the oc to not attend his graduation, she still could had attended but that phone call... I don't want this to turn into some creepy murdering fanfic LOL. Ughhh Jungkook what is even going in your mind? I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! xx :)
Anonymous said:Dude, you did such a great job at writing o/c's anxiety in this chapter. I try not to be bias toward her, but it's really hard since the story us in her pov. I got seriously grossed out by JK, man. I was so uncomfortable with the whole morning ordeal. 😩 And his threat at the end?? I know it's a story, but I had my friend-instincts kick in and I just wanted to shake her and be like "PLEASE LEAVE THIS RN PLEASE" (1)
Anonymous said:(2) And I'm curious about how Jimin would react if he knew how JK was acting. He has this idea that JK is a perfect boy, but if only he knew...But, at the same time, they all have this distorted view of one another, huh? We see Jimin as Mr. Perfect cause that's how o/c sees him. I guess it goes into that whole "unreliable narrator" thing? I'm just writing what thoughts the chapter has provoked. I absolutely love how u pay attention to detail in this story!! Awesome job as usual, mane 😊🙆
Anonymous said:Jungkook needs to take a moment to realize how miserable and uncomfortable the OC is like my goodness. Things have gone waaaaaay downhill. Especially for the OC. Also Jungkook actions are just kind of creepy??? And just like so unhealthy. I know it can be really hard to get out of a relationship, and she still loves Jimin and all, but the OC needs to just get out of there.
Anonymous said:omg jk is becoming such a possessive creep like reading the last part gave me chills tbh. they all need to realize that this relationship is v toxic and dip out of it. i kind of expected this to become what it is from the beginning but you still added twists to it that caught me off guard, thanks for being a great writer lu
Anonymous said:oh man that last chapter. just really fucking scary.... i went back and reread the end of ch.10 to recap and it makes me wonder how far y/n's willing to go for what's "worth it" in exchange for her own personal well being. because fuck, what jungkook is exhibiting is extremely concerning. as always your writing is amazing! thank you for using your free time this way, i'm sorry people are being gross and rude. you don't deserve that kinda shit, lu :(
Anonymous said:I genuinely love how you describe the OC as a trapped bird, and seeing how Jungkook reacted to everything is actually causing me to fear for the OC's well-being. I just want her to exist the whole relationship and just hook up with sunshine, can do no wrong hobi instead of the possessive junglecock and the passive Jimin :/ just my thoughts. But you're an extremely talented writer and your PhD is more important than smutty fanfic, so take all the time you need
Anonymous said:Ok first of all what the hell at ppl asking u for quick updates cuz ive lived with phd students they literally have a never ending to do list and im so amazed at ur ability to find time to write unbelievable. U go girl. And 2ndly, the claustraphobia u mentioned that oc was feeling. That was so detailed and even i felt like i was in her place. And jk..uve characterized his possessiveness so well and i got so mad forgetting this was a fictional character i was ready to throw a chair
Anonymous said:eek jungkook is making the equilibrium relationship so unhealthy somebody punch him
Anonymous said:Jungkook makes me so uncomfortable and I can actually feel the claustrophobia that OC feels .-. Overall, really excited for the next parts and can't wait to reread to see if I can find more theories. Thanks for the new chapter!
Anonymous said:ch 11... HOLY FUCK SHE NEED TO GET OUT JK IS LOONEY!! you really know how to make a story really good dude. super excited for updates!! i'm really curious about jimin's thought process about all of this. you've given a really good insight on kook and oc but jimin is still a little hard for me to figure out, i assume that's coming soon? i feel for oc, i want to protect her and tell her she's stronger and smarter than all of this. she's worth more than all of this craziness!!! GIRL POWER!! lol
Anonymous said:Holy fucking shit everything is so messed up in equilibrium like !! I love it and at the same time i cry because of the way you describe the oc's feelings I SWEAR I CAN FEEL IT TOO HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I can feel everything, my heart is pounding so fast now. Im so into it and i just want her to run away from this toxic relationship and take care of herself first like i know she loves jimin to the core but she is more important my heart clenches at every exquisite word you writE THANK YOU SO MUCH
Anonymous said:The story is really great I love how original your writing is I don't even see the characters as Jm an jk Which allows me to see how disgusting they all let themselves be treated in the relationship, a lot of the times I feel like readers are blinded by the image of an idol it changes their perspective honestly even if it was just one person who was lying about loving the other it would still be just as horrible I'm really curious as to what's even going on and how you are going to continue it❤️
ahmie-cat said:I feel so sad for the oc in equilibrium. Jungkook don't own nobody! How dare he claim ownership on the oc! I will fight him any day! I'll fight for the oc's freedom rights. Lols, just kidding... But really all of the characters are so sad...
Anonymous said:Honestly in the earlier chapters i really liked Jungkook but now hes just scaring me. The way the OC reacts to all his actions is so relatable thats exaclty how I would feel in her situation. This is crazy I dont even know how this fic would end I love it so much
Anonymous said:I was the anon who recommended you watch wfkbj and I'm so glad you like it!! :) ALSO the latest chapter of equilibrium was so good oh my god;; it's just ramping up like tenfold and while I was reading it sometimes I just had to stop and take a breather bc of all the tension lol. Honestly I don't even know how the oc is dealing with jungkook rn bc his behavior would chill me to the very bone I would have to get out !!! Anyways as always thank you for updating
Anonymous said:ah goodness, it was autocorrect that changed jungkook to jongkook! maybe next time i'll just use jinglebook to refer to him instead thens ahahahah. "goodness gracious, jinglebook is hella possessive that i'm actually really scared for y/n :s"
Anonymous said:GIRL THANK YOU FOR UPDATING OMG IM SHAKING IN MY CHANKLAS JUNGKOOK IS SO DELUSIONAL AND I WISHED OC WOULDVE BEEN STRAIGHT UP WITH HIM AND LIKE IDK NOT MILK ON HIS CRAZYNESS IM JUST SO ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SORRY FOR TYPING IN CAPS
Anonymous said:So, uh. Equilibrium Jungkook is fucking terrifying....
Anonymous said:I hope the oc in equilibrium leaves the relationship. It's so unhealthy and I feel like she might develop some type of mental illness or just be very stressed and anxious if she continues the relationship.... It's just a fanfic, but man, i'd hate to be in her position... I feel like crying Lols. Is this what you intended?? Haha.... It's really good so far I'm looking forward to what happens next. I feel like there'll be a good moral to the story. *Fingers crossing.
Anonymous said:Damn wtf jungkook behavior is freaking me out 😳 "you'll regret it" like wtf crazy people say shit like that
Anonymous said:jkzldlzlldz TF IS HAPPENING I'M SO CONFUSED JK IS CRAZY WTF OMG
Anonymous said:the characters in equilibrium seem to have never been in an actual proper relationship so the fact that they seem to have lasted this long is by sheer miracle. It's also probably why their worst aspects are even more apparent like jk's obsessiveness (which btw yikes boy yikesss) they literally all need to walk far far away from each other cause they a mess but I do wonder who's gonna be the first to do it cause it's all so complicated now, sorry for rambling I just love this fic so much!!
Anonymous said:What the ever loving monkey fuck is wrong with Jungkook. See, i was okay with him being jealous of Jimin because that's normal. I was moderately okay with OC agreeing to Jungkook's terms because she wants to stay with Jimin. I AM NOT OKAY with his sociopathic tendencies and how obsessive he's become. I think he's mistaken OCs genuine kindness for romantic interest at one point. And the thing that scares me the most is how Jimin seems to have no idea what's going on right under his nose as well
Anonymous said:Bruhhhh jungkook is legit fucking scary but the story itself is amazing and complex im gonna reread it right now
Anonymous said:Equilibrium is getting really interesting!! I'm kinda worried tht ppl read sentences like "Even a domesticated pet needs a taste of freedom" in context with her just /looking/ at jimin and think 'oh how romantic' tho. In every scene between her and jk u can practically feel her discomfort and fear and his possessiveness and how he's abusing her. I would normally stop reading a fic like tht bc I don't like it when the ppl are written like that bc they are real after all but I'm super hooked (1/2)
Anonymous said:(2/2)now and I am also really curious as to if and how they all are gonna get out of that situation or if jk kills her before they can just bc she takes care of a literally puking-everywhere-bedridden jimin. I'm also curious how Jimin is gonna act towards y/n now that they're alone and if he even noticed the toxic stuff that's happening between her and jk or if he didn't even notice bc jk kept him "happy" (idk how else to put it) so yeah. Keep up the great work!! Have a nice day xx
Anonymous said:GURL YOU NEED TO RUN FAST AND YOU NEED TO RUN FAR. It sucks that Jimin doesn't like OC romantically, but he's just using you to stay with JK. But JK... that shit is gonna hit the roof soon soon and it ain't gonna be pretty @.@
Anonymous said:Hey Lu, thanks for taking the time to update again~ Regarding the story...Jungkook is incredibly terrifying, like I had to step away a few times as I read because I just want the reader to leave so badly. I wish she would just be like "peace out". Everyone should just leave this situation and say "peace out". Even though I know the feelings are so complicated between all of them, it's just such a shit show on fire :( . Well done on setting everything up though. The tension is insane!
Anonymous said:Ugh I honestly want to slap Jungkook so hard. Possessive little shit.. As always your writing is amazing. Thank you for the update.
Anonymous said:OC, JIMINS DICK ISNT WORTH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GTFO THAT SITUATION GIRL IM SCREAMING
Anonymous said:JEONS FUCKED IN THE HEAD. HE WAS CUTE AND ALL AT FIRST BUT THEN IDK GIRL, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIMIN AND OC. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING ALL I KNOW IS I LOVE THIS AND I CERTAINLY LOVE YOU! IS HE PSYCHOTIC THO? FEELS LIKE JEON WOULD KILL ANYONE WHO DARE TO TOUCH OC..
mirajoey said:MY GAWDD!! Jeon Jungkook has gone mad😱 i pray for oc's safety
Anonymous said:i am terrified by jungkook's actions and NOTHING in this whole damn world is going to excuse what he is saying and doing in equilibrium. WHERE IS YOONGI DITCH THEM ALL Y/N AND GO FOR YOONGI. and today, i have been going through some really misogynic shit today and it felt so freaking uncomfortable and i was so angry and kind of frightened...i do not know how y/n is able to act like a normal person with jungkook around who is being very possessive and psycho-like
Anonymous said:When I first saw you updated Equilibrium I almost yelled "IMMA BUST MY LEFT NUT" (I was really excited lol) and now I'm lying here in a puddle of emotion really scared for the OC lol. I adore your writing so much, thank you for writing these xx
Anonymous said:JEON YOU CREEP. Man this is all such a disaster BUT I LOVE TO WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD. Anyways it was a great chapter and I am so e x c i t e for the next part to start. You da best 😆
Anonymous said:This is what your writing does to people, this is literally the only time I've ever dislike Jungkook that much in a fic. I wanted the OC and Jungkook together, but now I really thing all 3 should go their separate ways. Jungkook's possessiveness is getting too much, it's too obsessive. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time her own fault as well. As for Jimin who knows he may not be as oblivious as we think ?! He is using the OC to get with Jungkook in the first place.
Anonymous said:Equilibrium OC should just pack her fckin' bags there is no happy way out of this one
Anonymous said:(1/3) Right before I read this I watched this British PSA music video about abusive relationships, where a pregnant woman was choked to death by her boyfriend as she was trying to leave him and I feel like these people who romanticize these types of relationships forgot that this actually happens IRL. This happens to real women and men and some of them don't make it out alive. And when they try to defend it by saying "it's just a story, it's not real" it's very real for some people.
Anonymous said:(2/3) And the fact that the OC is having trouble sleeping and feeling this anxiety. And the that Jungkook didn't fell any sympathy/empathy for Jimin while he was ill, it just doesn't sit well with me. And the OC isn't innocent either. So afraid to shatter what's left of the already crumbling illusion she's built up. The need to keep the fantasy of this relationship with Jimin that I'm not sure existed outside of her mind. I really do enjoy this story and how you portray the characters.
Anonymous said:(3/3) The isolated relationships between the three of them is very realistic. I've seen some of my close friends go through similar situations. And it's hard to get out once you're in.Anonymous said:I cant believe anyone in their right mind is sympathizing with Jungkook in Equilibrium?! The way he is with Y/N makes me so uncomfortable, esp with his “You’re all mine” crap and being so “in love” with her when all he wants is to have her under his control even tho he thinks it’s love. Jimin too, the way he’s down to have Y/N in the relationship since JK wants her but she wants Jimin.. also I’m glad ur fanfics exist since they can give some girls a perspective on what’s NOT okay and NOT love
Anonymous said:' And if I find out you let someone else touch what's mine... you'll regret it' - I kept on reading this over and over but each time it makes me cringe more, the fact that he constantly calls her 'mine' is so fucking off, like as a kookier Stan in rl , I felt really bad for jungkook but now I find it so hard, this relationship is taking a big twist that I did not see coming and it's getting abusive real quick.
Anonymous said:(Cont last) I stood firm in my decision. On the last day that we talked, he finally understood why. It was only then he realized his mistakes, only then did he cry & apologize for everything. He tried to convince me to give him a chance but the time for that has already passed. We are officially over. I loved the guy, you know? and deep down, I know there's good in there. But I can't risk my heart and soul anymore. I'm sorry this has gone out of topic, I just needed to get it off my chest.
Anonymous said:(Cont.) When he got mad at me for one minor thing, he will accuse me of cheating and call me demeaning words. Our relationship was always on his terms. I was always the one apologizing & making an effort to make him happy. I paid for all our dates. Just wow, I'm stupid. After a fight early Feb, I got tired of it all. I broke up with him and that process took 7 fucking days in which he tried to convince that my reasoning was wrong and that he was right. My gut feeling was telling me to leave.
Anonymous said:just finished reading ch 11... yikes. like YIKES. oh my, I'm honestly very worried and scared for the oc. reading it actually made me anxious and nervous lol. that relationship is a nightmare oh sweetie no, she needs to leave asap
Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 3) I felt caged. I always had to inform where I was, who I'm with, are there guys going to be at the event I'm going to. If there were guys, he didn't want me to go. I couldn't even get a regular update from him where he was and couldn't check on his phone. As I said, I was being stupid. I tolerated all of his bullshit. When you're in an abusive relationship, you won't realize it immediately. He'll come off sweet and only wanting to protect you and your relationship.
Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 2) to the red flags he showed early in the relationship. He didn't want to me talk to any guy who wasn't a family and asked me to delete all the guys in my Facebook account. Stupid me did so because I believed him when he said that "It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't trust the people around you." I stayed loyal to him but he was always paranoid that I was cheating on him. When we broke up, I learned he was talking to lots of girls that's why he was so paranoid.
Anonymous said:I got curious and read Equilibrium. All I can say is whoa! The anxiety and fear that I felt was so visceral; it made me fill ill. I've recently broken up with my ex, who was like that - subtly emotionally and mentally abusive. I am fairly young, naive, and inexperienced in relationships. I had a low self-esteem. Growing up I felt that I was unattractive and no one would like me. He was the first guy to really pursue me and I guess I was so hungry for love and affection that I turned a blind eye
Anonymous said:oc's anxiety is getting worst in equal... 😞 i hope she gets out soon. i agree, SEND IN MAMA JIN! lol kook is getting crazier each chapter i'm getting scared for her well being 😟☹️😦. SHES WORTH MORE THAN THIS CRAZINESS!! 💔 side note, thank you for sticking to it, i know it's not easy. and thank you for updating. i always look forward to your work ❤
withlove-sydney said:Tbh I was worried that this story was gonna take a disturbing turn after jk revealed that he was purposely trying to keep jimin away in chpt 10 and this chapter just confirmed how toxic he is. I agree with that other person tho I'm glad that you're the one writing this because I trust that you won't try to romanticize this at all. My ex was really possessive like jk and its not cute or sexy at all. I ended up so scared of him and when I see similar things in fics it gives me chills...
btsninetyfiveline said:I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the relationship you're portraying in Equilibrium! It's soooooooo important to have stories that show abuse and possessiveness in an unhealthy light! I'm so tired of these "you looked at another guy for 5 seconds in the club so now I'm gonna take you home and show you who you 'belong' to" narratives. It's so important to address and educate young girls on signs of an emotionally manipulative relationship! 💕
Anonymous said:Hi Lu :) how are you? I love how you put out your stories unexpectedly, its always a pleasant surprise. Chapter 11 is so well-written (like all your work ofc).You set up the suffocating atmosphere perfectly with images and metaphors, like Oc's suffer is so real. I am really concerned about oc's mental health... in this chapter we see that she isn't in a good place and I am scared of what is yet to come. Thank you for your hard work. xo
Anonymous said:After reading chap 11, i feel so bad for the oc. Even reading about jk's possessiveness/threats makes me feel suffocated ;-; Though I'm excited for what's going to happen after he leaves for his trip hmm.... once again thank you for the update, Lu! :-) I'm really loving the pace of the story so far.
anonymouspseudonymous said:There's this anon that said "this ain't your ordinary fic where they all compromise and be happy" and i cannot agree more. Although, even if I get it that people hate JK for being cray, you have to punch Jimin as well hahaha idk man this is fucked
Anonymous said:I'm reading ch11 of equilibrium and the part where she wants to touch jimins face but jungkook has a tight grip on her wrist restricting her from doing so is so symbolic of their relationship and how she wants jimin so badly but jungkook is holding her back from him almost keeping her hostage in a way. Anyways I really enjoyed this part it gave me goosebumps so thank you for sharing your work with us even though you don't have to! You owe us nothing so I appreciate everything you give us💓💞💖💕
Anonymous said:I'm glad you don't tolerate the bullshit that jungkook isnt as bad as the protagnonist. People need to hear that that shit is toxic and manipulative. People are brainwashed into thinking it's romantic and okay. When it's absolutely not. No the protagonist isn't free of fault but she isn't being obsessively creepy.
Anonymous said:I think people tend to gloss over the fact that it IS an obsession (unhealthy and actually rather terrifying) and not actual "love" because they like the idea of someone doing anything to stay with them. But even in wanting to stay with someone, there have to be limits. You shouldn't end up losing yourself to someone if they want you as a person, not as just an object or a way to get what they want. There is a line between devotion and obsession, and people seem to ignore that all too often.
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traumabee · 8 years ago
Text
everything i remember from The Skype Incident: a brain dump / vent
tw: csa, cocsa, pedophilia, nsfw, genitals, catfishing (??? i guess), rape mention
very uncomfortable level of detail but i’m writing it down to show my psych while i’m dissociated enough to withstand thinking about it to this level of detail
context:
previously she had set up my skype account, and insisted that i use those special character thingies for my name. 
in hindsight, that made it very obvious i was a child. 
i had been getting harrassment from other oldish guys before the incident, and i have a vague memory of video chat showing 2 people having sex in real time, though i can’t put it on a timeline of age or anything other than it was night time when i watched it and that my video wasn’t on, and that if you asked me to, i could draw exactly what was on that screen down to the facial features of the woman. idk if there was another incident surrounding it, and i’m hoping it doesn’t come up in a flashback any time soon. 
(another thing i just remembered while typing this is that we used to have a ‘game’ called girly questions - this was long before i even knew i was trans so i didn’t mind the ‘girl’ part of that. it was basically ‘let’s ask really personal, private things to each other and gossip about other girls’. it was gross. i know. i told her some things i probably shouldn’t have.)
The Incident itself:
i was 8 or 9
it was a sleepover at my house
she was using the computer my mum had lent me, on my account
she accepted a request from someone i only know as atafkoglu (he’s still on skype, please don’t look him up)
she told him that she was 24 and that i was her 5 year old kid (she was 10 or 11, and did not pass for 24 at all)
when he asked for pictures of her boobs, she looked up pictures on google images and found one, then sent it to him
he knew she wasn’t sending real pictures, she denied it
she asked for a dick pic
when he sent like 5, she told me, “i’m too scared to, you have to look and then tell me what it looks like”
so i did
he had ginger pubic hair
i was really uncomfortable but it was in my house so i couldn’t just run away
idk if she told me this as part of her manipulation (irrelevant rn) or if it said so in his bio or whatever but at some point i found out he was russian (this might not be true, idk)
i was half asleep most of the time
he sent a link to youjizz.com, and again she said i should watch the videos because she was scared to
i mean let’s completely disregard the fact that i was younger than her and also scared, and that she was the one who got us into this situation, shall we?
anyway, i did
then he sends a video of himself jacking off
you see the pattern here, and i don’t think i have to say that i watched it
that was when she got mad (for some reason, idk) 
anyway she started insulting his pubes (???? idk it was a weird experience in general)
at around 4 am he sent a picture of his face
he was mostly bald but his remaining hair was sorta trump-coloured, white, in his early to mid 50s if i had to guess, for some reason reminds me of putin?????
he looked like he was in a fancy hotel or an office or something, and she was saying to me that it couldn’t be real, that he was catfishing too
i fell asleep at 4:30
at 5 she woke me up so she could send a face pic of both of us (!!!!!!!!!! INTERNET SAFETY BEE WTF)
aaaaand the aftermath:
i had felt really Bad™ afterwards, but she told me not to tell anyone so i didn’t
i had nightmares about atafkoglu for years, even though i only ever saw his face, his hands, and his dick
i knew too much too soon after it, and ended up watching a lot of porn to process what had happened
i cracked a few months later
my parents got really mad and called her parents
everyone took her side when she said it was my fault
i got in so much trouble over something that wasn’t my fault at all, that i hadn’t even wanted at the time
i wasn’t allowed skype for 2 years because of it
not only that, but she got mad at me too for telling so i had everything so much worse for a few months after that
when she wanted me to run or be scared or whatever tf she wanted me to run as fast as i could until i got home for, she would tell me that atafkoglu was there and that he was chasing me, that he wanted to touch me or rape me or kill me
i never forgot it, it’s always been at the back of my mind whenever i think of her
summary: one of the defining things that happened during the time i was abused, the first time i saw anyone’s privates other than my own, one of the contributing factors to me growing up far too soon and knowing too much to have a proper childhood. special thanks to my abuser for making this possible, and to atafkoglu for haunting me 7 years on.
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wendyopaque · 8 years ago
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this is also thehambeverage for anyone wondering why tf agsp is tagging them in something
yo i was tagged by a peep by the name of @cotton-candy-confusion and this is basically one of those facebook thingys where you go and tag someone and they have to answer questions. so im gonna do that.
RULES: answer the questions and tag 25 people! LAST: [1] DRINK: i have a nice pokemon glass of brisk ice tea [2] PHONE CALL: m mudca :) [3] TEXT MESSAGE: it was actually to the group chat (kik group chat, if you want that information msg me and ill let u in; its atl related usually) about how my next project is going to be a self-driving barbie jeep [4] SONG YOU LISTENED TO: willingly: citizens of earth by neck deep. unwillingly, however, was the meow mix remix 10 hour version [5] TIME YOU CRIED: despite the fact i wanted to all day long, i actually didnt. so it was a few nights ago because i had a dream that everything that happened today happened and i was so frustrated i started crying HAVE YOU EVER… [6] DATED SOMEONE TWICE: i havent even dated someone once really [7] BEEN CHEATED ON: no [8] KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: the only person ive ever kissed (well, kissed by) was mark hoppus and i dont regret [9] LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yes [10] BEEN DEPRESSED: yeah, in fact i just woke up from a 7 hour depression nap [11] GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: ive never been drunk but one time i made really good grilled cheese but then it wasnt so good because i gave myself food poisoning and threw up for three days LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] green [13] more green [14] did i mention green IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] MADE NEW FRIENDS: YES AND I LOVE THEM ALL [16] FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no but this reminds me of the line in romeo and juliet where romeo is just like im out and either benvolio or mercutiois just like out- oF LOvE???? and romeo is like hell no wft [17] LAUGHED SO HARD YOU CRIED: lots of times [18] FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: i mean no but would i care really probably yes because i care about my reputation but also maybe not [19] MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: i think everyone changes me because i want to absorb everyones good qualities and become The Best [20] FOUND OUT WHO YOUR TRUE FRIENDS ARE: everyones my true friend i love people [21] KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: no [22] HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: all of them except hunter, but he just wants to be my friend on fb so i can send him 8 ball pool gifts [23] DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: my dogs birdie, jared, and sugar and my dads dog miss noodles 8^) [24] DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: my real name is actually p good (its marissa) because ican get away with you guys calling me meech because it starts with an m [25] WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: invited my pals to my humble abode and we tried to watch a horror movie but like a really crappy one but it was so bad no one was interested [26] WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: i woke up at 5:30 am to meet bright and early with my rov crew but i woke up from my depression sleepytime junction at 11 [27] WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT: trying to unlock the bathroom door with a pair of scissors [28] NAME SOMETHING YOU CANNOT WAIT FOR: starting the self driving barbie jeep!!!! [29] WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOTHER: at like 5 when she picked me up from the competition [30] WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE: im actually really happy where i am now ü (thats a creepy smiley face) [31] WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: i have an episode of malcolm in the middle playing in the background rn [32] HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: wtf [33] SOMETHING THAT GETS ON YOUR NERVES: when my step father parks his truck too close to the gate so i have to move the entire gate in order to take the dumb trash bins out [34] MOST VISITED SITE: more than likely cool math 4 kids [35] ELEMENTARY: ew i was really into ghost hunters and never brushed my hair and was just embarrassing in general [36] HIGH SCHOOL: so far, i really like it [37] COLLEGE: not even sure yet but hopefully my SATs turn up good later on down the road and some school wants me [38] HAIR COLOR: green but theres this blue strip in it and its weird [39] LONG OR SHORT HAIR: short [40] DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: 👀 [41] WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im really funny and i have nice legs [42] PIERCINGS: i have one ear pierced and contrary to popular belief it is not the detroit red wings logo [43] BLOOD TYPE: im not sure which is really bad [44] NICKNAME: mostly meech but irl ppl call me misha/misho and rissa [45] RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single [46] ZODIAC SIGN: aquarius [47] PRONOUNS: she/her [48] FAV TV SHOW: hmm probably bobs burgers [49] TATTOOS: none [50] RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: right FIRST… [51] SURGERY: never had one! [52] PIERCING: m ears [53] BEST FRIEND: i think her name was hannah or some shit idk it was first grade [54] SPORT: im not a sports kid im a competitive robot kid [55] VACATION: rogers city 2002!! [56] PAIR OF TRAINERS: what are trainers RIGHT NOW… [57] EATING: nothing [58] DRINKING: only my favorite beverage, orange juice [59] IM ABOUT TO: go to costco and mooch off of their free samples [60] LISTENING TO: the blink-182 cover of dead mans curve [61] WAITING FOR: seamus to follow me back on twitter (hes being a little bitch rn) [62] WANT: seamus to follow me back on twitter (fuck u seamus) [63] GET MARRIED: sure [64] CAREER: whatever i can get tbh. ideally something in construction/engineering WHICH IS BETTER… [65] HUGS OR KISSES: smorch [66] LIPS OR EYES: lips [67] SHORTER OR TALLER: ??i want to be taller?? [68] OLDER OR YOUNGER: older ?? (are these supposed to be abt like someone romantically or??? idk??) [69] ROMANTIC OR SPONTANEOUS: spontaneous [70] NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: really i dont mind [71] SENSITIVE OR LOUD: i guess sensitive ? [72] HOOKUP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship !! i love commitment [73] TROUBLEMAKER OR SENTIENT: GIVE ME A SENTIENT SUPER POWER BOYF / GIRLF HAVE YOU EVER… [74] KISSES A STRANGER? hoppus <3 [75] DRABK HARD LIQOUR? nope [76] LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES? but always found them in the end [77] TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nope [78] SEX ON FIRST DATE? with what dats [79] BROKEN SOMEONES HEART? hopefully not [80] HAD YOUR OWN HEART BROKEN? nope [81] BEEN ARRESTED? no but i thought the lady at speedway was going to call the cops on me because she seemed really mad i was getting a slurpee and it made me anxious [82] CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED? of course [83] FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: hyperventilates 👀👀👀 DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] YOURSELF? always have always will [85] MIRACLES? yes!! [86] LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? no [87] SANTA CLAUS? no [88] KISS ON FIRST DATE? smorch [89] ANGELS? yes OTHER… [90] CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME: i have like 8 million bffjills i cant name them all [91] EYE COLOR: green [92] FAVORITE MOVIE: THE SHINING ☝️☝️☝️
i dont know/have 25 mutuals so heres all the people who immediately come to mind:
@carbonatedbeveragecurtis @dinotyler @a-percious-fandom-cinnamon-roll @amerrickancandy @notanordinarybandgeek @gloogle @flannelbarakat @jack-bracket
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moodymurda · 6 years ago
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i’ve been having real vivid dreams lately. feels like they’re trying to tell me something if that makes any sense. and faith said if i really believe that i should start recording them, and listen ya know. i feel like ever since i’ve been paying attention to the fact that i’m generally pretty intuitive, i’ve been picking up on more shit. and it’s weird but becoming comforting. i feel like i sound crazy, i always feel like i sound crazy though so nothing new.
today my mother told me that i can’t wait for shit to happen for me, i gotta make it happen. and of course i know that but it really resonated with me when she said it today. i’m almost 100% sure i’ve found my future place. still have some shit to work through but i think i’ll get it. and i’m nervousscaredexcited. bc i’m the girl that thinks good shit isn’t supposed to happen for her. all the super recent events of my life been teaching me to rely on myself more. to trust myself more. to believe in myself more. to stop looking to other people to write my story for me. and that i’m the only person that thinks i’m stupid lmfao.
it’s like.. all my friends. my mom (as of late. since she started dating her new bf she’s like back to her happy ass self she used to be when i was a kid). my great grandmother even, and i’ve met this woman once. they speak so much life into me. and tell me what a great person i am. how smart i am. how special i am. how important i am. but i never see it or believe it. and i think that i’m bad. for myself. for other people. i often think i’d be better off gone bc then i wouldn’t be a burden anymore. trouble is the only person that ever viewed me as a burden it seems, is me. and i apply that belief to other people. i make myself believe that all these people i love so much actually can’t stand me. and only tolerate me bc they know i’m sensitive and have been kinda fragile for the last 3yrs.
last 3-ish... maybe 4?? yrs have definitely been my hardest. and what’s crazy is in the last 3 yrs... i’ve met the best people. like despite all the bad i’ve acquired the greatest friendships. probably my only real friendships. like ever. whether it have been people i’ve known for a while but only recently began to trust. or ppl i’ve just met in the last three yrs. like my lil internet family that i hold so dear to my heart. and love beyond words at this point. and before i had these relationships i ain’t know the first thing about valuing a human life, mine included. i didn’t recognize what was love and what wasn’t. i didn’t think i had any personal freedom. like a whole lot of shit and i’m eternally grateful to my friends.
i never know wtf i’m tryna say i just be talking ya know. truthfully i think it’s my medication. i get bursts of energy right after i take it (around 6. and it’s 7:23 rn). then more energy during the middle of the next day (around like 12-2) i think my mom says that means the medication is @ it’s peak as far as how it’s effecting my body. idk she’s a nurse now she know this shit. then a few hours before i have to take it again my energy gets low, i usually need to nap at that point or i’ll just sit in silence. and try to asses how i’m feeling or something. but yea. when i get the energy like i have now i usually want to talk to someone. or do something. like anything. it’s like when a little kid gets energy so then they gotta run around and tire themselves out or something.
yea so anyway i also have issues staying on one topic at this point of the day. which is why i usually don’t wanna bother anyone bc honestly idk how you could possibly converse w me when i’m this hyper. it’s not like me for one so most ppl look at me like why tf aren’t u sitting down being quiet like normal. my mom and my dad are the only ones who like appreciate the energy. bc i was really energetic and talkative as a kid, so i think they love seeing me like this. everyone else tho is kinda like okay chill out. which i get. but anyway.
i had a point and lost it. my point is what i’ve been saying for months now. something is changing. for the better it’s for the better. i know it is. something great is about to happen for me. and i know i deserve it but i don’t know what to make of it at the same time. i always say things like ppl don’t suffer for nothing. and that good always follows the bad. like stupid inspirational shit like i took a class where joel olsteen was the mf professor. and i believe it but like i say it to other ppl. to cheer them up and make them know they’ll be okay. i don’t think i ever seriously considered one day i won’t be a ball of sadness anymore. not that i won’t ever be sad again. just not like this not to this extreme. and i’m ready but i’m not? idk. i feel like this whole time i’ve seemed like a victim. like i’ve painted myself that way. not that there’s anything wrong w being a victim of anything. just that i wanted to be more than that if that makes sense. sooo yea idk what i wanna say now.
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