#realizing that helped me finally let go of the need to make my suffering seem more meaningful than it was

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

In A Rut (Monster!Hawks x Black!Fem!Reader 18+ One Shot)

Pairing: Keigo “Hawks” Takami x Black!Fem!Reader (Coworkers to Lovers)

Synopsis: You haven't seen your boss around the office in a while ever since he started feeling "under the weather", but when you decide to visit him one day to cheer him up with some soup, you realize that this isn't a normal spring cold. Your boss is in heat and you, his good little assistant, are the only one who can help him cure it.

Warnings: Monsterfucking; Monsterfucker!Reader; Mild Power Play; Boss x Assistant; Mild BDSM; MDom/fsub; Marking; Heat Symptoms; Hawks Has a Big ol’ Dick; Deepthroat; Cunnilingus; Sloppy, Rough Sex; Scent Play; Overstimulation; Ownership; Multiple Orgasms; Multiple Creampies; Multiple Positions; Cum Play; Aftercare

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic. However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: Happy spring, y'all!! 💐💐🌼🌼🌻🌻 Fucking FINALLY winter & the cold is gone! Now that the weather is heating up, I wanted to write something about my favorite birdman suffering from heat. Enjoy! -Jazz

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You’re worried about Mr. Takami. 

Or “Hawks” as he’s told several of his employees, staff, and interns to call him around his agency time and time again. But as his personal assistant for over a year, you take respect and professionalism very seriously. 

Hawks is one of the most laidback bosses you’ve had in your professional career. He doesn’t make you fetch coffee unless you’re getting some for yourself, he’s flexible with deadlines, he lets you go home early despite the workload, and has all of his employees take off on Fridays…which he also pays for. 

Though it’s a nice change, you also can’t help but be wary of Hawks. It isn’t that he’s a bad guy. He is considerably nice––always greeting you in the mornings; checking up on you in the afternoons; letting you use his office when he isn’t in it, etc.

But he is also extremely cocky. It comes with the territory of being pro hero #2, you suppose, but the way he saunters into the office every Monday through Thursday in his designer clothes and Rolex watch always rubs you the wrong way. 

Not to mention he’s a humongous flirt. Your friend calls it being “overly friendly”. She also says he doesn’t flirt with any other woman at his agency like he does you. He always gives you those charming smiles that seem to irk you to no end and puts that flirty lilt in his voice when he speaks to you. Not to mention the constant compliments on your outfits and work that stick with you until the end of your shifts. 

Last week on Monday, the last day you saw him, was no different. You were sitting with your friend at your desk that morning, sipping on your iced coffee before the 9 AM meeting. Your friend was giving you the latest gossip on two employees hooking up in the stairwell during lunch last week when you both saw Hawks sauntering into the office. 

“Shh, shh!” she hushes you even though you didn’t say anything. She straightened up and smiled at your boss, bowing. “Good morning, Mr. Takami,” she chirps. The blonde, in his navy blue suit and red bottoms, gave you each a smile that lingered on you for too long. “Ladies,” he greets. 

You looked away, busying yourself by checking your email. “I’ve got your schedule and plans for today’s meeting for you,” your friend said, passing him a folder. “And your coffee, made by yours truly.” She nudged you, making you narrow your eyes at her. 

“Ah, thank you!” Hawks happily sighed. “And I told you before: just call me Hawks. I don’t need all of that ‘Mr’ shit.” His golden eyes then trailed down to you, his stare making you feel uncomfortable in your long-sleeve blouse. “Thank you, Ms. L/N,” he purrs. “See you at the meeting?” 

He gave you a wink, a hint at his joking manner, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. He was always picking on you like this. “I’m required to be there as your assistant so, yes,” you replied, blandly so.

He didn’t think anything of it. “Good,” he hummed happily. “I’ll need my right hand when I get tired of talking or my coffee doesn’t kick in fast enough. Carry on.” 

He gave you a flitting wink before walking off to his office for some time alone. Once gone, your friend fanned herself. “Oh, my God, he’s so fucking fine!” she groaned. You shushed her, hitting her arm. “Come on, his office is right there!” you hissed. “He might hear you!” 

“But isn’t he so fine?” your friend went on, ignoring your warning. “You have to admit that he’s fine!” You chose your words carefully, stirring your straw around in your coffee. “He’s…okay,” you weakly replied. “But he’s our boss! Whatever I think of him doesn’t matter.” At least you told yourself that. 

The meeting was about new anti-discrimination policies in workplaces and merging with UA High and Indeed to create a special job website for aspiring pro heroes and those with quirks. 

You sat across from Hawks and Rumi, his friend and co-owner of the agency, who sipped on her coffee free of cream and sugar. “Took you long enough,” she grumbled to Hawks. “What, you forget to fluff your feathers this mornin’ or somethin’?” 

You giggled to yourself at her joke before the meeting started. You met with Principal Nezu who happily bowed in front of the laptop personally set up to meet his eye level. “Good morning, everyone!” he exclaimed. “I appreciate all of you for your time today, including the Indeed associates, and for Hawks for allowing me to take you away from work for a moment. Now, Hawks, if you would like to share your opinion first?” 

The pro sat back in his chair, legs crossed and glasses perched on his eyes. You secretly liked it when he wore glasses. “I think it’s a perfect idea,” he said with a shrug. “As I’m sure all of you know, my agency is open to all new talent, whether they graduated from UA or not. We don’t discriminate against anyone with a particular quirk or education. As long as they are willing to learn, respect our rules, and participate in training, we will hire them.” 

“But what if the public has concerns about who we hire and whether they will be able to effectively do their jobs with no UA education or license?” one of the Indeed associates asked. Hawks smiled. “I’m glad you asked that.” He nodded at you, smiling warmly. “Y/N, would you mind answering this question? After all, it’s your wonderful brain that came out with such a well-thought-out plan for this.” 

Though you flushed at the compliment, you pushed those butterflies away and stood. “This agency is not new to the scrutiny of the public,” you explain, poised and calm. “Hawks and Nezu-san are proposing the opening of a new pro hero license program for those who cannot afford UA or are over the age of 18. This program would include…” You continued just as you rehearsed, not looking at Hawks who looked dead at you, almost as if he was staring through your clothes. 

When you finally finished, you sat and Nezu thanked you for your well-spoken words. “What is your opinion on that, Hawks?” he asked. The pro didn’t answer, too busy staring at you. Now his eyes were hooded and looked slightly sharper than they were before. You squirmed uncomfortably in your seat, mostly because of how warm his stare made you. 

“Hawks!” Rumi hisses in his ear. The blonde blinked, snapping out of it. “Huh?” he dumbly asked, looking up at the screen. “Are you alright?” Nezu worriedly asked. Everyone was staring at him, including you. He had never acted like this before. “Yeah, just…” He paused, clearing his throat as a flush appeared on his cheeks. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” 

Nezu repeated himself, asking for Hawks’ opinion on the internship program and when he’d prefer to announce it. “It is the spring already, but I believe the summer is when most of my student body will be looking to do internships,” he explained. 

You watched as Hawks’ eyes grew wide at the mention of spring, but he did his best to keep it lowkey. But you noticed. “U-Uh, yeah,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll do it in April.” You also noticed his body language for the rest of the meeting: his knee bouncing anxiously; his eyes flicking from yours to back at the screen or down at his papers; his cheeks flushed red. 

Was he sick? Was it the coffee you made? After the meeting, Rumi confronted him on it, grabbing his elbow. “Hey, what the hell happened in there?” she asked. “You looked like you were about to deck Y/N!” 

“I…sorry,” he huffed. “I just…” He paused, seeing you and his eyes roamed over your lower body in your pencil skirt. “I need to go to the bathroom,” he quickly replied before rushing off to his office. You followed him. You don’t know why you did. Maybe you felt obligated to do so as if his assistant. Maybe you just needed to make sure he was okay. 

So you knocked on his door, tentatively so. “Come in,” he raggedly said. You opened the door and automatically closed it behind you. Hawks leaned against his desk, his back to you, breathing concerningly hard like he just got off the treadmill. 

“Mr. Takami?” you questioned. Your heels clicked against the hardwood floor as you walked farther into his spacious, high-rise office. “Hawks, is everything alright?” Hawks didn’t look at you as he spoke: “Y-Yeah,” he replied, still sounding winded. “What’s up?” 

You stood two feet away from him, afraid to get near. You didn’t want to spook him or cross any boundaries. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be writing a ‘thank you’ email on your behalf to Nezu-san and the Indeed associates,” you lied though you were planning on doing that anyway.

But Hawks shook his head. “Don’t bother. You did a good job today, Y/N.” His voice sounded so off. It was usually light and syrupy, but now it sounded deep and raspy. It did things to you. 

“Did I do something wrong?” you blurted, confused at his strange behavior. The blonde quickly shook his head, turning slightly towards you. His sleeves were rolled up, showing off his forearms and the feather tattoo on the inside of his left wrist. “No, no, of course not!” he protested. “I’m just…not feeling well.” 

“Well, you know you can always go home,” you said. “We can hold down the fort here like we always do.” Finally, Hawks turned around and you saw how flushed he looked, his cheeks a rouge hue. He gave a smile that felt too intimate. Too adoring. “Thank you,” he sighed. “That’s so like you. Always so professional. Always so sweet.” 

He took a step toward you and instinctively, you took a step back. “M-Mr. Takami?” you weakly asked. He continued to walk to you until you finally stood with your back to the wall, unable to escape him. His cologne clouded your senses, the scent of sweet and spicy invading your nostrils as he stopped in front of you. 

“Y/N,” he began, his voice breathlessly and soft. “I…” He stopped, raising his hand to touch you. And then he stopped, dropping his hand and using it to cover his mouth instead. “I-I’m sorry,” he muffingly said. “You should go. I don’t wanna get you sick.” 

Quickly, he reached beside you with his free hand and opened the door. The sound of chatter, coffee machines, and ringing phones smacked you back to reality. “You should go,” he said, his eyes willing you to do so. So you did and he shut the door in your face, leaving you feeling breathlessly and hot. 

That was over a week ago. After the work day, Hawks headed home and sent out a staff meeting the next morning about being out because of a “spring cold”, but he’d be back soon. “Soon” hasn’t come yet. You haven’t heard anything from him in days! 

It’s starting to worry you. A spring cold can’t last this long. Is it the flu? Is it something else? Plus, no one can seem to get in contact with him. What if something bad happened to him? 

These worrying thoughts swim in your head all week every time you see Hawks’ empty office. 

Finally, you reach your breaking point. You’re not going to call, text, or email him. You’re going to be a good assistant and instead, bring him something to let him know that you’re checking on him. Something to make him feel better. So on Friday, you leave work after your shift and stop by your favorite cafe to buy a bowl of their best chicken noodle soup.

You then drive to Hawks’ penthouse on the Upper East side of the city having kept his address to deliver things from work to his house if need be. When you park your car, you walk to the front door and click a button to buzz to his room. At first, nothing happens, so you press it again. Finally, on the third buzz, someone answers. 

“Yeah?” a deep, raspy, growly voice barks. It startles you. “Uh…I’m sorry, do I have the wrong room?” you ask. “I’m looking for Keigo Takami.” The other end of the line pauses and you think that they left. “Y/N?” they ask, sounding shocked. “Why are you here?” 

You blink at the speaker, shocked that this is your boss talking to you. Why does he sound like that? Is he that hoarse? “I came to give you some soup,” you say, suddenly shy. “I haven’t heard from you in days, so I bought this just to let up your spirits. That must be some cold.” 

You wait for a response, but when he never gives it to you, you begin to feel stupid. This was a mistake. “Well, I’m gonna go now, but I’ll give it to your doorman so he can–” 

“Don’t,” Hawks interrupts though he still sounds strained. “Come up.” You scowl in confusion, wondering if you misheard that, but then his doorman is meeting you at the front door to guide you to the elevator up to Hawks’ penthouse with the soup. 

You take the elevator up, your heart pounding and your hands shaking slightly as they hold the soup. You almost explode from your nerves when you finally make it upstairs and the doors open, revealing Hawks’ beautiful, luxurious, and empty penthouse with an included gameroom, private gym, balcony, pool, mini bar, and expensive-looking kitchen. But he is nowhere to be found. 

You walk further into the living room, your heels clicking across the hardwood floor. “Hawks?” you call. You don’t get any answer right away. The home is uncomfortably silent, making you feel paranoid. “Hawks!” you call again, louder this time. “Where are you?” 

“Upstairs!” he rasps from the staircase leading to the upper floor. “Don’t come up here!” He sounds so pained. In such agony. You place the soup on the counter, confused and worried. What’s going on? Why does he sound like he’s in trouble? 

Not listening at all to your boss’ warning, you slowly head up the steps, taking each tentative step further up in your heels. The hallway is dark when you finally make it upstairs, the only door open being the one at the end of the hallway. It is cracked and through it, you hear the sound of your boss’ soft pants and grunts of pain. Hawks’ bedroom. 

Though something inside of you is telling you to turn around, you persevere and walk towards the bedroom. Slowly, you push the door open, revealing a dark masterbedroom with drawn curtains blocking out the outside world. “Hawks?” you tentatively question. “It’s just me. I just came to–” 

“Go away!” he bellows from inside. “I told you not to come up here!” You jump, startled by the volume of his voice. He’s never yelled at you in such a way. You poke your head inside and gasp at the absolute mess of his bedroom: furniture askew; clothes and empty water bottles discarded on the floor; a rumbled mess of red sheets on the bed.

The smell in the air is thick with sweat and something else. Something tropical. Coconut oil? You look towards the king-sized bed where a heap sits hunched under the sheets which move up and down as it pants heavily. You thought it was just a pile of clothes at first, but no. There’s something under there. 

“Hawks?” you question, your voice wavering in fear. The strange heap stirs, reacting to your voice. It breathes raggedly, almost as if it can’t get enough air in its lungs. “Hawks, what’s going on?” you demand. “Tell me. I want to help you.” 

But he turns away, the sheets shifting as he does. “You can’t,” he whines. “You can’t.” Not being able to take how he sounds anymore, you storm over to the bed and snatch the sheets off of him. There, under the covers, you see your boss with your own two eyes. “H-Hawks?” you whisper. “Is that you?” 

You almost can’t believe it. He has gotten much bigger in the past couple of days since you’ve last seen him, his muscles almost bulging. His pecs are ridiculously big, his nipples hard and perky, and veins protrude from his forearms and hands. Speaking of hands, they barely resemble human hands anymore. Red feathers sprout from his skin and long, sharp talons have grown out of his fingernails like knives. 

When he looks at you, his face is flushed and his eyes are nothing more than red slits, those warm, golden irises gone. But all of those things aren’t even the most shocking to you. You are more shocked by the size of his wings. They have doubled in size, nearly taking up the entirety of the bed, and are red as the purest blood. His feathers shake and ruffle as if someone has run their fingers through them, disturbing their peace. 

He looks shocked to see you and then embarrassed. “I didn’t want you comin’ up here,” he pants. “Didn’t want you seein’ me like…this.” He shifts and sits up so the sheet falls off of him, revealing his naked body to you. He is flushed and coated in sweat all over his tan skin and toned muscles. Your eyes trail down his abs and V-line to his cock which is way too obvious to look away from. 

He is big and throbbing, the head a blush red and dripping in precum. One mouth-watering, angry vein trails from his shaft up to the head of his cock that twitches. Hawks winces, not looking like he is enjoying this at all. In fact, he looks like he’s in complete agony. You can’t be embarrassed or mortified by this when he looks so awful. “W-What happened to you?” you softly gasp. 

He covers his throbbing dick with the sheet, but it’s no use. You can still see it protruding from underneath it, creating an obvious tent. “I’m in heat,” he sighs. “It’s what us mammals go through around this time. A spring thing.”

He wipes the sweat off of his forehead, his blonde hair soaked in it. “That’s why I’ve been hiding,” he explains. “I’ve been here tryna get through this, but I just…can’t!” 

He grabs at his hair, running his hands through it. Now you understand it: his absence; the transformation; the smell of coconut oil in the air. You feel yourself blush, feeling hot in your clothes. All of this because he’s horny?

“How long does it last?” you curiously ask, but you’re not even sure you want to know. Hawks sighs, looking doomed. “Either a day or months depending on if my heat is satisfied.” 

“Months?” you gasp. “Are you in pain?” 

Hawks’ face screws up, triggering something in your core. “Terrible, baby,” he groans, wrapping a hand around his cock, his talons long enough to curl around the entire thing...and he’s at least 12 inches. “I can’t even sleep. I’ve been up for days, sweatin’ through my sheets and tryin’ to cum as many times as I can.” He releases himself and looks down at his hands, clenching them. “But my hands don’t do it for me anymore and I broke my fuckin’ toy.” 

He nods at the fleshlight you didn’t even notice lying near his nightstand, completely broken in half. He completely tore that pussy out the frame, you realize in shock. What the fuck could he do to a real one? “O-Oh,” you exhale. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, running his hand down his sweaty face. “I’m sorry about this, Y/N, really. I didn’t want anyone seein’ me like this.” He looks away from you, appearing so utterly humiliated and ashamed that it pains you. You find yourself not liking him like this: so utterly downtrodden and hopeless. “What can I do?” you blurt. 

He faces you, his slitted eyes widening. “What?” he gasps. “What do you–” 

“I wanna help you, Hawks,” you cut in, already taking off your cardigan to reveal your pretty, pink blouse underneath that you paired with a skirt. “What can I do to help you get through this?” 

He watches you, looking completely stunned and mortified, but his cock also twitches at the sight of your outfit. “No, no, baby, no,” he protests. “Y-You can’t…you don’t need to do this.” But you stand firm on your decision, refusing to leave him like this. “I know I don’t need to,” you firmly respond. “I want to. Just look at you! I can’t let you go on like this.” 

Hawks still doesn’t move, but his cock begins to leak pre for you, dripping down his thick thighs and onto the mattress. The sight is so lewd but so arousing, making your pussy throb indeciently in your panties. You shouldn’t be doing this. There are so many consequences you could face from this…but you also find that you don’t care right now. “Let me help you, Hawks,” you whisper. “Just tell me what I need to do to help you. I’m your assistant, after all.” 

A fire explodes behind Hawks’ eyes, lit with lust and need. A low growl leaves his chest and you find that he has fangs in his mouth. The sight scares and thrills you. “You wanna help me?” he asks in his low, deep voice. “Then take off your clothes.” 

You swallow hard, feeling like you just dry-swallowed a gigantic pill. You start with your blouse, your painted fingernails teasing the buttons before you begin to pop them open one by one. You expose your lacy bra to him, one of your favorites because of how it makes your breasts look: pretty, juicy, and appetizing with the lace trim of the cups adorning them. 

You peel off the blouse and let it fall to your feet. Hawks barely notices it, too busy staring dead at your chest. He slowly begins to pump his cock with his hand, lewd, wet sounds of his pre and coconut oil acting as lubricants drifting to your ears. Under his laser-eyed gaze, you feel like an animal being watched behind a cage. A specimen. It makes you feel slightly uncomfortable, but also hot and bothered to see that you’re affecting him so deeply. 

You then move to your skirt and begin to unzip it, but Hawks puts a hand out to stop you. “Slowly, mama,” he raggedly says. “Don’t rush this.” Biting your lip, you slowly drag the zipper down and then slide the skirt off of your waist, leaving you in just your matching bra and panties. You go to take off your stockings and heels, but he stops you. “Leave ‘em on,” he demands. 

So you stand there, arms at your sides and trembling like a leaf. “Turn around,” he orders, his pink lips parted as he continues to fuck his hand nice and slow. You listen and turn, exposing your ass to him. “Ah, shit,” he hisses, soft pants leaving his lips. “I knew you had a nice ass.” 

You bite your lip, feeling your pussy flutter and throb impatiently. “Sit on the bed and bend over for me,” he orders. “I’m not gonna touch you. I just wanna see you rub that pussy for me, okay?” 

You turn around, staring down at your shoes. “Yes, sir,” you whisper and flush at your words. They just came out of you, as naturally as breathing. 

Hawks shudders, affected by your reply. “Such a good girl,” he sighs dreamily. “I’ll definitely take that over just ‘Hawks’ right now. But ‘Keigo’ works too.” Your face grows hot with a blush, having never referred to him by his first name before. Not wanting to waste his time, you slowly get on the bed and face away from him, your feet tucked under your butt. 

Then you bend over for him, your back arched. “Yes, that’s it,” he encourages, softly panting and the move bouncing slightly from his ministrations on himself. “Pull those panties to the side, baby. Let me see you.” Biting your lip so hard that you’re sure to draw blood, you pull the thin strip of cotton covering your sodden, wet, puffy pussy to the side and expose all of you to him. 

Hawks shudderingly moans at the sight of the wet strand of your arousal connected from your pussy lips to your panties. “God, mama,” he groans. “You have the prettiest pussy. Look how wet you are!” He growls once more, sounding so much like an animal. “You like what you’re doin’ to me?” You can tell he’s started to stroke himself harder, faster, his pants and heavy breaths becoming more intense. “Keigo,” you softly whimper. 

You’ve never been this horny before. Your pussy is about to slide off the bone with how wet it is. 

“That’s right, say my name,” he groans. “Play with your pussy, baby. Don’t let me do this alone.” 

So you do. You sneak your hand down your ass, teasing him before you begin to rub your cunt for him in time with his strokes. A weak moan leaves your lips as you rub your clit in tiny, firm circles, your ministrations impassioned by the sounds leaving Hawks’ lips. He sounds so desperate. So slutty as he pumps his cock, imagining that he’s doing so to your pretty, little pussy. “So fuckin’ cute,” he says, agonized at your beauty and sexiness. “How the fuck are you this adorable?” 

You want to look back and see him, but you get the feeling that he doesn’t want to be watched, so you instead close your eyes and drift away at the sounds of his moans and his lubed cock fucking his hand, making the bed bounce slightly underneath you. You imagine that he’s fucking you like that, his big hands gripping your ass and talons digging into the fleshy part of your ass cheeks. You can almost feel his cock stretching you out, pumping you full again and again as he uses you, doing his best to not break you like he did his fleshlight. 

Finally, you can’t take it anymore. “K-Keigo!” you whine. “Fuck, I’m about to cum!” Hawks groans at your warning, happy to hear this. “Uh-huh,” he pants. “Do it for me, baby. Cum all over those fingers for me.” 

And you do. You rub and flick your clit until it can’t take any more stimulation and explodes all over your hand. Your sweet moans of release push Hawks over the edge. “Fuck!” he bellows, his voice bouncing off of the walls as he cums in his hand, shooting warm cum all over his thighs and stomach. Your moans and whines mix with one another, creating a symphony of pleasure as you both cum together. 

When the high of your orgasms finally fades, you both sit there for a moment, panting and sitting in the reality of your situation. “I…I’m sorry,” Hawks awkwardly huffs.

You don’t answer, unsure of what to say until you turn around and find that he’s still hard. “Keigo!” you gasp. “Y-You’re still–” 

“I know,” he sighs, frustration evident in his handsome face. “Like I said, my hands ain’t doin’ it for me at this point. I need more.”

His slitted eyes, red as crimson blood, narrow at you, a deeper meaning in his words. You gulp, weighing your options but only briefly. You realize you’re thinking more with your pussy than with your head, but the curiosity of feeling Hawks’ wings wrapped around you while he fucks you is too tempting. 

“Keigo, it’s okay,” you softly purr, putting a hand on his thigh. He flinches as if your touch burns him. “We can do more if you need it.” You then dip your fingers between your thighs and come back with them dripping in your cum. His cock twitches at the sight, but he doesn’t have to imagine how you taste for too long. 

You lean forward and put your fingers to his lips. “Use me,” you say, a plea in your voice. “I’m all yours.”

Right then, something in Hawks snaps the moment he wraps his lips around your fingers and greedily sucks your cum off of them. He is no longer entirely human, his animal instincts taking over. He snatches you up and places you in his lap, emitting a small gasp from you at being yanked up so forcefully. “Just tell me ‘no’ if you want me to stop,” he orders. “And tap my thigh three times if I got my cock in that mouth. Understand me?” 

Unable to reply, you wordlessly nod. That’s enough for him. Immediately, he’s on you, pressing a rough yet passionate kiss to your lips, nibbling on your bottom lip and swirling his tongue with yours. His kiss is brutal yet hot; forceful yet careful as he wraps you up in his arms and soft wings. It’s the best kiss you’ve had in your life. 

And the sex he gives you by far trumps all of the other bedroom adventures you’ve had. You’re so glad he gave you a non-verbal safety precaution because Hawks takes the “use” thing literally when he finally gets his dick down your throat. He is as big and thick as he looks, your fingers barely being able to wrap around his girty, throbbing shaft. 

You have to cover his cock in copious amounts of spit and coconut oil just to make it easier to stroke him, Hawks’ crimson, lustful eyes and soft moans encouraging you. “That’s it, baby bird,” he growls, one clawed hand in your hair. “Take me nice and easy.” Though he allows you to slowly take his cock down your throat, it doesn’t do much to ease the stretch of your jaw. 

Unfortunately for you, Hawks’ heat gets the best of him and his impatience rises, making your time to adjust to his size shorter. When he grabs your hair and begins to fuck your face, you have no choice but to take it. He shoves his cock so deep down your throat that your eyes burn with tears and embarrassing, wet gagging sounds leave your mouth as you gurgle around his cock that throbs and pulses in your mouth. 

“Thaaat’s my girl,” Hawks grunts, staring down at you throating his dick. “You’re takin’ this dick like a champ, baby bird, y’know. You could make this a profession if workin’ as an assistant don’t work out.” He takes his cock out and taps it against your tongue, loving how slutty you look for him with your tongue hanging out and makeup a mess. 

“Or you could add this to your duties of bein’ my little assistant,” he hums, smearing his cockhead across your plump lips. “You could fetch my coffee and take this dick over my desk every workday. How would that sound?” He doesn’t allow you to answer as he grabs you again and forces you down onto his cock, groaning at how amazing your wet tongue and soft mouth feel. “God!” he groans. “I hope your pussy is this fuckin’ tight.” 

His curiosity gets the best of him. After a few minutes of fucking your throat like it’s a toy, he pulls out with a moan, giving you heart eyes at the image of your messy hair and sloppy mouth dripping in spit. He holds your face in his big hands, his talons gently caressing your cheeks. “On your back,” he orders. You must go too slow for him because he tosses you down onto your backside himself and quickly ducks between your thighs, his big, feathered hands parting them. 

“K-Keigo,” you stammer, but that’s all you can get out before he’s cutting the waistband of your panties off with his teeth and sliding his big, fat, wet tongue all over your slit.

All words cease to exist as pleasure washes over you which only builds the more his tongue swirls against your clit and inside of you. Your eyes widen and your hands dig into the skin of his muscular back that flexes as he dips his head low to eat you out. His soft wings caress your skin as they wrap around you, making you feel like you’re being pampered from all ends. 

Hawks knows how to run his mouth, but also knows how to work it. His tongue moves magically inside of you, slurping up your juices as his nose and soft lips bump against your clit. You grind your hips up into him, meeting his tongue thrusts while his talons dig into the fleshy parts of your ass.

You can’t keep quiet, too enveloped in the ecstasy you’re feeling. “God, yes, Keigo!” you whine, bucking your hips up. “That feels so fuckin’ good! Keep going, please, ooooh, shit!” 

Hawks gladly takes all of those lovely sounds, moaning into your cunt. He is a rapid, ravenous animal, slurping up your pussy like he’s yearning for it. “So good,” he whines into your clit. “So fuckin’ good.” 

Your orgasm comes rather quickly, that knot in your core threatening to snap as he continues to work his tongue in and out of you. “Fuck, Kei!” you sob. “I’m gonna fuckin’ cum! Please let me cum, sir please!” 

“Mmm-hmm,” Keigo hums, sucking gently on your pussy lips. “Do it for me, baby bird. Cum all over my fucking face.” He goes back to eating you out, moving his tongue against that little spot up and inside of you that makes you see stars. “Do it,” he growls in his deep, gravelly voice. “Fuckin’ cum for me. Give it to me now!” 

A scream erupts from you–”Oh, shit!”–as you explode all over Hawks’ tongue. He moans in release with you as he slurps and laps you up, drinking in all that give him while you buck and writhe under his hands. Even when the orgasm high fades, he doesn’t stop. He continues to eat you out even as your pussy and body twitches. “O-Okay, Hawks,” you stammer. “Please, ah, please stop. I-I can’t…oh, my God!” 

Tears prick your eyes as the agonizing pleasure continues, swallowing you whole. His crimson eyes stare up into yours between your thighs, loving how desperate and pathetically horny you look as you writhe against his tongue. But as good as you taste, he needs to know how you feel. So he hikes himself up on top of you, his big body covering your smaller one, and his wings creating a curtain around you. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you, baby,” he pants. “I need to fuck you now and when I do, I ain’t gonna be nice. I need to cum as many times as it takes to ease this heat and that could be hours. You sure you’re okay with that?” Despite his obvious need, he is holding back, his cock throbbing against your thigh. 

Knowing that, you nod and press a kiss to his lips. “Yes, Keigo,” you purr. “I want this too.” You give him a smile, pretty and seductive. “So fuck me.”

The pro doesn’t need to be told twice. He starts by fucking you on your back, your knees tucked up into your chest. You’re happy for the lubricant and orgasm because it is a stretch. His cock stretches your pussy out in a way it didn’t do to your jaw, making your mouth go slack and your eyes widen. “Relax, mama,” he coos, pressing a kiss to your face while he rubs your clit. “You’re doin’ so well takin’ me.” 

After a few minutes of adjusting and slow strokes, Hawks feels you relax around him and finally begins to pound you like he needs to. He fucks you into the mattress that shakes and bounces beneath you, making your tits bounce in time with his thrusts. Each pump of his thick cock sends sparks of pleasure throughout your body as your soft, spongy pussy walls stretch and mold into his shape. 

“O-Oh, my God!” you cry, grasping his shoulders as he takes you straight to poundtown. “Fuck, Keigo, yes, baby! Fuck me just like that!” 

The winged pro grips your thighs and pins them down to the bed, giving you a stretch that yoga couldn’t even do. “Just like that?” he teasingly asks, smirking down at you. “Look at you takin’ this dick like a champ, baby bird. Bet you couldn’t wait for your boss to fuck you, huh?” 

You whine in response, earning a tongue shoved in your mouth as Hawks gives you a wet French kiss while he pounds into you. He nuzzles his nose into your neck next, covering himself in your scent and you in his.

You’re so deep in the pleasure that you don’t even realize that Hawks’ feathers, sharpened to the touch, cut off your bra until you feel the cool air on your nipples and then pleasure as he stimulates them with his feathers. 

When he begins to get closer, his crimson eyes glow red and the black rimming his eyes grows sharper like a hawk’s. You feel scared yet aroused at the same time, your pussy clenching around his cock. “I’m gonna cum, baby,” he grunts. “Gonna fill you up. Want you to fuckin’ cum with me too!” 

“Fuck, Hawks!” you whine, tossing your head back against the pillow. Your second orgasm erupts and sends you on a trip while Keigo fucks you like he’s trying to hit a home run. When he cums, he does so with an animalistic grunt and grips your hips so hard that they bruise. He tosses his blonde hair back, every muscle in his body tense from the pleasure. You gasp as he fills you up with his cum, feeling warmth flooding inside of you. It feels good to be full, you realize. 

But even when the orgasm fades and he has successfully filled you up, Hawks looks down at you with an increased level of need and lust that shakes you. “I ain’t done with you yet,” he growls. 

And he’s not. He fucks you in every single position imaginable. He fucks you doggy style, his cock pumping into you again and again while he yanks on your hair and dirty talks in your ear.

“You my little slut?” he pants, his hand grabbing and smacking your ass. “You love gettin’ fucked by me? You love this number 2 pro hero dick, don’t you, baby?” You can only whine in response, words and logical thoughts completely gone as he turns your pussy into mush. 

He fucks you on your side, his big body spooning yours and red wings wrapped around you as his throbbing cock drives inside of you. In this position, it’s easier to rub your clit and tilt your head back to kiss him, the two of you sharing breath as you hotly pant and moan into each other’s mouths. 

He fucks you with your head hanging off the bed and your leg pinned up to get a better angle at your G-spot and to drive himself deeper into you. 

He fucks you in mating press, his feet on the bed as he mounts you and drives himself inside of you like he’s trying hard to breed you. 

He fucks you in full nelson. 

In prone bone, his hands massaging your ass. 

While standing up, you bouncing like a cute little fuck bunny in his arms on his dick.��

From the bottom while you ride him, both from the front and the back, his hands groping your bouncing tits and jiggling ass. 

“Mine,” he growls to you in every position known to bed that he puts you in. “You’re fuckin’ mine, baby bird. Only mine.” 

And in every single position, he makes you and himself cum. He seems to always know how to trigger your orgasm so you cum again and again. He then uses your tight walls to chase his orgasms, cumming inside of you and filling up over and over again. He makes you sweat out your hair and your makeup, making you look like the sexiest Goddess to him as you take his cock like it’s your job. 

By the time he finally finishes, hours have passed and you are spent. Your body aches. You are wet with sweat and cum. Your pussy twitches and is sloppy with his and your cum mixed together, all of it dripping down your thighs and through the crack of your ass. 

Hawks, finally back to his normal self, lies down next to you and snuggles you into his chest. “Thank you for doin’ that,” he sighs, pecking you on the forehead. “You did so, so well for me, honey. I hope a dinner date can make up for that workout.” 

You only mewl tiredly in response, but you wrap your arms around him and snuggle into his chest. He chuckles, the sound pleasant to your ear pressed against his heart. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he sighs.

And then you sleep, satisfied and comfortable finally. 

THE END. 

[alastor-simp]

Hugging Them Out of Nowhere - Lucifer Morningstar, Cherri Bomb, Vox and Valentino

Here is the second part of the hugging headcanon with the other hazbin characters. I am going to try to make Valentino be a bit more approachable in this story since I know he is on this fandoms hit list.Will contain spoilers from some episodes. Enjoy!

Lucifer Morningstar🐥

🐥"OH! Ummm.....something wrong? Did you want to play with one of my rubber ducks?” Lucifer would have no idea what is going on. He will be stood like a statue, while holding one of his signature ducks. Despite being the king of hell, this man is an awkward softie.

🐥Lucifer was officially staying at the hotel now after its renovation after the fight with Adam. It was nice that he was finally making an effort with Charlie’s dreams and acting like a father.

🐥However, this poor man suffered from depression, due to being stressed being the king of hell and also thinking about his wife leaving. Man couldn’t catch a break.

🐥His bedroom is where he would stay when he was like that, crafting another duck figurine at his desk. He hadn’t noticed you coming into his room to see how he was. The minute he felt arms wrap around him is when he realized your presence.

🐥 “Ummmmmmmm….hi there?” Lucifer just remained in the position he was in, staring at you, trying to figure out what was happening. Soon, you had let him go, wearing an apologetic smile.

🐥 “I’m sorry, your highness.” Lucifer jumped when he heard that and waved his hands. “OH! Just call me Lucifer or Luci! Don’t need to be formal with me!” You smiled at him and nodded your head. The both of you stared at each other for a bit before he broke the silence and asked why the sudden hug.

🐥Feeling shy, you rubbed the back of your neck, “Well, I noticed you seemed more melancholic than usual today. Usually when I am sad, a hug always makes me feel better so I thought maybe that would help you.” Red pupils continued to stare at you making you feel nervous, wondering if you had upset him

🐥Your body was met with a strong impact, as Lucifer tackled you in a hug, squeezing you tightly to the point it was hard to breathe. His face was in the crook of your neck, as he continued to squeeze. “C-can’t br-eath.” Gasping out an answer, you felt Lucifer let you go, by still placed his hands on your shoulder.

🐥 “S-sorry! Sorry! I forget my own strength sometimes haha! You okay? No broken bones?” He kept moving his head to peer at you, making sure you were alright. His actions caused you to laugh, surprising him. “You’re such a dad.” Lucifer then smiled at that, placing a hand on his chest, “Of course I am! I am hells number one daddy!” That sentence caused you to cackle, confusing Lucifer even more. “Hahahaha! Don’t ever say that again!” Lucifer tilted his head at you: “Wait, what did I say?”

🐥His clueless side to him was quite cute at times. You managed to calm down. “Lucifer, if you ever need someone to talk to or have another one of your depressed episodes, come find me okay. I’ll be there to listen and also provide comforting hugs." He wore a shocked expression, before he broke into a kind smile, patting your head. "Thank you."

🐥The relationship the both of you had improved a lot. He was more open with you and would discuss his problems. He was kind enough to bring you to his workshop, showing you how to make his prized ducklings. You received a nice surprise when you went into your room and saw a duck figurine that resembled you, with a red rose lying next to it.

Cherri Bomb🍒

🍒"Woah! Hey bit✪✪!! Why the sudden tackle? You looking to throw down?" Cherri is very hyperactive and fun-loving, you almost never see her depressed about anything. She is either throwing bombs during turf wars or partying at the club with Angel Dust. She wasn't close with everyone at the hotel except Angel, but she was friendly as long as you didn't do something to piss her off.

🍒However, she does have a sensitive side to herself, but she puts up a tough guard to hide it. The three of you, yourself, Cherri and Angel were partying at a popular sex club, chugging down shot after shot. It took you a while to notice, since you were slightly buzzed, that Cherri had a more sad expression on her face then usual. You were about to question what was wrong, but she got up quickly from the bar, saying she was going out for a quick smoke.

🍒Sensing something else was going, on you let Angel know that you would be right back, before following after Cherri. Looking everywhere, you were able to find her on the patio deck of the club, smoking a cigarette while leaning on the metal bar. She didn't noticed you until she heard the sound of the door sliding and saw you walking towards her.

🍒 "Oh! Hey hoe! Whatcha doing out here? Craving a smoke too?" She was smiling wide at you, but you can tell that it was forced. Walking closer to her, you threw her arms around her, causing her one eye to stare at you in shock. ""Woah mate! Whats wrong with ya?" She patted one of your arms, wondering what was going on. "Cherri, drop the act already. I saw that look on your face in the club. There is obviously something going on. So come on, spill it."

🍒 Cherri's eye just widen further and the smile on her face dropped. She turned her head down, not saying a word to you as you kept holding her. "AGH! I'm just pissed with myself at the moment! I'm trying so hard to obtain the level of overlord, but it's not working. I need that status, so I can help Angie to be rid of that moth fu✪✪face!!" Cherri yelled out, as she threw the cigarette from her hand, while punching the metal bar with her fist. You continued to listen to her, and hugged her tighter.

🍒You both stayed like that for a bit, before you spoke: "You will do it Cherri Bomb! I believe in you and so does Angel Dust. Its gonna be hard in the beginning, but you can do it. I want the same for Angel too and I'll try to help in anyway I can." After that little speech you gave, you felt Cherri shaking with laughter. "AHAHAHA! Sorry mate, but you fighting in turf wars? I'm sorry, but your baby face is way to sweet to be considered a threat!" Her words cause you to pout. "Still, thanks mate for coming out here and making me feel better." She moved her body, positioning herself so she could hug you back.

🍒The both of you let go after that, just in time for Angel Dust to come, wondering where the both of you went. "Cherri? Toots? What's going on? Y'all been gone for a while, I thought you bailed on me!" The both of you laughed and walked closer to Angel. "Nothing Angel. Just having some girl talk." You didn't want to tell Angel what had happened before since you probably expected Cherri didn't want to worry him. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulder, and pulled you closer to them. Cherri smiled down at you before looking back at Angel. "Sorry Angie, got distracted. Lets get back to the party! I owe you a drink Y/N!" Cherri looked down at you when she said that before pulling you to the bar, with Angel following behind, wearing a smirk.

🍒Cherri exchanged numbers with you after that. She chatted with both you and Angel on the regular. Her messages were very wild and enthusiastic, either sending a picture of herself in a fight or just making funny inappropriate jokes. She had invited you to her crib to hang out at one point. You should consider yourself lucky, cause she only invites the people she cares about to her place, so the fact that she did that means she considers you a very close friend. She has offered to help train you too, since she noticed your lack of skill in combat, so she wanted to help prepare you. She knew that it would help you in the long run and also allow you to tag team together in a turf war.

Vox📺

📺Hugging Vox was not as simple as you think. He had a reputation to uphold as one of the three Vee's. Also he didn't like being touched.

📺He was an alright guy despite his massive ego. You had been in his business for a while, so you knew quickly how he function and acted in certain situations. His mood had been very sour lately, since he had just realized his arch enemy, the radio demon was back after disappearing for seven years. His great plan was to call Alastor out during one of his video podcasts, only to be mocked down by Alastor, causing him to short circuit and cause all the power to be cut off.

📺Vox remained in his office after that, fuming. His screen was flickering every once in a while, as blue sparks kept popping up around him. You hesitated a bit, as you stood at the door to his office, contemplating if you should go in a calm him down or just let him cool off on his own. Finally reaching a decision, you walked in.

📺He was sitting in his large red chair, in front of his multiple screens. The back of the chair was facing you, as you walked closer to wear he was. Having reached closer to him, you look at him, seeing if he was okay. He was leaned back against the chair, hands covering his screen. It was mumbling something to himself, which was hard to make out, but you heard some words like "alastor" and "a✪✪hole."

📺Clearing your throat, you allowed your presence to be know to him. Vox jumped a bit, before removing one of hands to look at you. He was clearly irritated, given the scowl on his face. "The hell you doing in here? I made in clear I was not to be disturbed." You bounced back a bit at his tone, but you stood strong. "I apologize, sir. I had come to see if you were alright, since you have been in here for a few hours." Vox continued to glare at you before putting his hand back to cover his face. "Argh! That old fashion radio di✪✪head still has me pissed off!" You listen to him rant, and wanted to at least find a way to ease his emotions. "Will you allow me to help calm you down?"

📺Vox removed his hands from his face, his screen eyebrows arched up a bit. He gave a sigh and just waved his hand in the air, saying to do whatever. Taking a deep breath, you walked closer to Vox, leaning down to wrap your arms around him. Vox just froze, hands raised up in shock. He wasn't expecting something like this. After a few seconds, you let him go and stood back up, rubbing your neck. "Sorry! I- That always use to make me feel better whenever I am upset about something, so I though that would help you." You continued to look down away from Vox, afraid that you overstepped.

📺You slowly look back at him, hoping he wasn't more enraged. He surprisingly wasn't, but was more stumped then anything. Soon his screen face lit up with his blue-teethed smile. "Well that was a surprise! Didn't expect you to do that?" He continued to smirk at you, which made you twiddle your fingers. "Sorry." Vox just gave a huff, turning his face away. "Well I didn't hate it." That comment surprised you. You weren't able to see his face,, but his screen looked a tad pinkish, but it was hard to make out. Letting out a cough, he turned back and stretched. "Well time to get back and do some overlord work. You can head back and do whatever." Smiling, you bowed your head a bit, "Very well, sir." You turned around, beginning to walk back to the sliding doors. "Vox." You stopped and turned back, "I'm sorry?" Vox spun his chair, around facing you, "You can call me Vox." His face was hard to read, since you never seen him with that kind of expression before. He slowly turned back around, back of the chair facing you now.

📺He was a bit different after that whole interaction. Yes, he was still the egotistical Vox, but he acted a bit softer when he was with you behind closed doors. He would ask how your day was and how the new Voxtech sales were coming along. He tried to have you around more, whenever he was doing his podcasts or having a meeting with the other Vees. You noticed his eyes staring at you, with a sort of soft look, but he would quickly turn around like nothing was happening.

Valentino🦋

🦋It wasn't easy to offer Valentino a hug. He was one of the the three V's, the overlords that dominated most of Pentagram city. Valentino was a busy man, since he controlled a lot of the lustful side of the city, so he was either surrounded by hot demons or working as the director for his porn videos.

🦋 However, he was prone to hissy fits, that would result in him either breaking multiple things in his office or injure one of Velvette's models. You weren't sure what caused this tantrum, but you could hear Valentino's squeaks of rage from his office.

🦋After a couple minutes, it began to quiet down, giving you a sign that it was safe to enter his office now. Opening the door to his office, you saw the mayhem that was now his office space. Papers had scattered the floor, some clothes were throw on the ground and broken pieces of glass were scattered everywhere on the floor. In the middle of the room was a giant red smoke cloud, likely containing the moth himself. You could see him a bit through the smoke, wearing a scowl, but his eyes were closed.

🦋You didn't say a word, and just started to clean up the mess. Valentino peeked his eye out to look at you, and closed it again. After fixing his clothes and throwing away the shards of glass, you picked up the papers, assembling them in a stack and walk over to his desk. Placing them down, you looked up at the moth man in front of you. He was still wearing a scowl, while muttering little curses under his breath. "Umm..Mr. Valentino?", calling out his name, you approached a bit closer, to where you were standing near his chair. Valentino opened his eyes, flashing crimson at you. "What is it?" his tone was still agitated, and his eyes were glaring at you.

🦋You fiddled with your fingers for a bit, then you slowly got closer to him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He was very tall, but since he was sitting down, it was easier for you to place your arms around his back, putting you head next to his neck Valentino let out a little squeak in shock, his multiple arms jumping up, which caused the pipe in one of his hands to drop to the ground. "Oh~ You looking to play gatita?" You could tell he was smirking at what you were doing. You shook your head, "I'm not doing this to have sex with you. I'm giving you a hug to cheer you up." Valentino was quiet after you said that. You were about to let go, thinking you made him more upset, but you felt his arms pull you closer, lifting you up to have you sit on his lap. His head bent down as well, leaning closer to your neck.

🦋None of you had said a word, as you continued to hug each other. You felt a pair of lips kiss your neck, giving you goosebumps. Slowly Valentino removed his head from your neck. His two hands moved to push you back, before placing the both of them on your cheeks. He was wearing a very tender expression, it was quite a surprise to see since you only saw him with a smirk or glare. "Gracias hermosa." Leaning down, he placed a kiss on your forehead, causing you to blush.

🦋His attitude with you change entirely after that. He was still a horny bastard, but he cooled it down for you. He wanted you with him at all times, either next to you or sitting on his lap. Vox took a notice to how different Valentino was being, but he didn't question it, since it saved him time and prevented him from having to come and calm Valentino down himself. Valentino began to send you little gifts as well, you expected something erotic like vibrators, but surprisingly, you got roses and beautiful jewelry. He started addressing you by your name more, or he would called you "hermosa" like he did when he kissed your forehead. Welp, looks like you have a giant moth demon attracted to you now.

~END~

(Sorry no Velvette in this headcanon. It is hard for me to write her character. Maybe i'll do a separate headcanon for just Velvette when I have time)

Tag List:

@pepperycookie , @yourdoorisunlocked, @ghostdoodlen, @aceofcards0-0, @jyoongim, @saturnhas82moons, @unholycheesesnack , @luujjvi , @forbidden-sunlight, @pinkcrystal44 , @veethewriter , @rains-sleeping , @danveration , @demoarah, @cookiekyo , @iiotic, @delectableworm , @91062854-ka , @alastorsgoldie , @lokis-imaginary-friend , @themysteriousslenderman , @huntlowfan , @pawstrey , @futureittomainn , @christinaatyourservice92 , @littledolly2345 , @just-trash-yeah-thats-it , @angelinevalentine89 , @yunimimii , @staryosh1 , @mihawksdemoness , @crystalreads , @blahblahbruhmeow , @madam-strawberryrose , @inkslayer , @azazel-nyx , @lixanjewel , @ainsliemac

[cupcakeslushie]

I dont usually send asks, mostly cause im shy and don’t know what to say lol, but I wanted to share my appreciation for your Kendratello AU, cause it’s helped me recognize a toxic relationship in my own life.

I’ve never been a victim to SA or anything of the likes, so I can’t say I’ve been EXACTLY in Donnie’s place, but something that unsettled me early on when reading your AU was how…NICE Kendra would seem when alone with Donnie.

In a lot of media, especially in the media I saw growing up, the manipulative antagonist almost always had very obvious tells that show they’re evil when interacting with the victim. Maybe they’re talking about committing a very clearly villainous deed, keep the protagonist prisoner, something like that. But Kendra didn’t. Well, not always.

Kendra destroyed Donnie from the foundation up, and then rebuilt him back up to be who she wanted him to be, would punish him but then spin the situation around to be his own fault, but the rest of the time she would seem kind.

Only recently have I realized that someone very close to me has been toxic for most of our lives, and the reason it took me this long to realize it was because they would treat me kindly only until it became in their own interest to act otherwise. But I would take it, because I loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and I assumed that since they loved me, they wouldn’t ACTUALLY (emotionally) hurt me.

Spoiler alert: they did.

I’m not going to get much more into it, but your AU’s been very comforting to me ever since this happened, because it’s helping me come to terms with the fact that what happened wasn’t my fault just because our relationship seemed nice most of the time.

Your depiction of Kendra manipulating Donnie so realistically, and Donnie slowly but surely realizing that Kendra was hurting him is so powerful, and I thank you for that.

I’m so happy for you Anon 💚💚

It’s good to see these patterns, and depending on how toxic the relationship is, to speak up for yourself, or cut the person out, if they are unwilling to change.

Kindness is often a tool used by manipulators. But the biggest thing to ask yourself is exactly what you saw. Is this person only nice to me when they need something from me? And if so, then this isn’t real kindness. Good for you for knowing your worth!!

⚠️

sa related ask and discussions of very toxic relationships…

Personal experience rambling below. Toxic friendship and sa mention.

I’ll only be discussing this once, here, in this post. So I’m afraid if I get anyone asking for further info, I’m not going to reply /lh

I’m very sorry for what you’ve gone through. I hope you can find what you need to heal. Everyone’s traumas are so different, so please if you can, and haven’t already, speak to a professional that will give you help catered to you.

But I do want to immediately answer your question and say, yes, I have healed, for the most part. It took a lot of work and self-reflection that I didn’t want to do, because it was scary. But when I finally talked to someone, and realized I needed to take action in order to heal, that was when the process started.

For years, I thought my only options were to suffer in silence, and that what happened to me was my own fault, because towards the end, I was consenting. But I didn’t understand how my mindset and self worth had become so twisted.

My person (let’s call him J) was one of my best friends growing up. But as he got older, and more interested in…mature things, he changed. J would only ever agree to hang out together unless I offered to give him something to make it worth his while. Eventually I started to think these acts were all I was good for, as that’s all that made him happy to be around me. Pretty soon, J didn’t even have to push the ideas onto me. He only had to act uninterested or busy, and I would sit there and beg to do whatever he wanted.

The idea of rejection grew to be so painful and terrifying as he was one of only two friends that I had (the other being his sister. So if I lost one, I was so scared to lose the other). And I’d recently lost one of my closest childhood friends. Which he often used her cutting contact with us in his manipulations as well.

(It wasn’t until years later that she contacted me through Facebook and revealed that it was J that made her feel too uncomfortable, and as she already lived two hours away from us, and only visited once a year, it was just easier for her to cut off contact. I don’t blame her now, but without that knowledge, the thought that it was something I did, only helped J manipulate me.)

As I grew older, and I got better friends, I started to learn just how much I’d been pushed into only ever doing what he wanted, and how one sided of a relationship it was. He moved away, and that distance I was so scared of became a reality. But it was the best thing to ever happen. I still wonder what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in town. If we might’ve gotten married or if I would’ve finally stood up for myself. But all that matters is he is gone. There is always the danger of him coming home and me seeing him—we were neighbors, so his parents and mine still live right next door. Holidays can be kind of a high stress time lol.

That cafe comic is actually probably the most therapeutic piece out of the whole Kendratello AU I’ve done, as it’s always been a fear of mine that I could just turn around and he’d be in town visiting lol. Sending Kendra through that portal was highly cathartic. But even if that were to happen now, I have my coping skills, and I’m in a much better headspace. I think I would be able to handle myself.

I’m still a people pleaser, I don’t think that’s ever going to go away, even with all the work I’ve done. The biggest thing is, I know I’m worth more now. I can see real kindness, and catch the fake stuff much better by looking for those same toxic signs. The real friendships I’ve made have shown me what connection is truly like. It’s not a one-sided negotiation every time you get together. And if it is, then it’s probably not a healthy give and take. I’ve healed, but it is a constant effort.

Every new person sets off some kind of anxiety in the back of my head, but I don’t let that fear control how our relationship will develop. I’ve got the final say in what happens and what I get out of it.

[happy74827]

Stay With Me

[Sam Riordan x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: Sometimes all we need is a hug, or in Sam’s case, words of assurance. (GIF credits: @heronamedhawks || Thanks for letting me use your gifs 🫶)

WC: 635

Category: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

This is so short compared to my usuals, but I thought it was too cute to pass up. Plus, I’m a sucker for those first kiss moments 😌

『••✎••』

You didn’t know what to expect when you opened the door with Marie. Your first encounter with Sam was a difficult one. And although you’ve come to know him as the sweetest man on the planet, there is still that one incident that made you uncomfortable when you thought about it.

As you enter the room, you realized that it wasn’t one of those days. It was just Sam… being Sam. His body shot up alert with the sound of the heavy metal door closing, but it was instantly replaced with a look that was both apologetic and exhausted.

Sam was at your side in an incident, practically shoving Marie to the side as he embraced you.

"I was so worried about you." he murmurs in your ear as you hug back.

He smelled good. It was a little odd, considering he was always covered in blood whenever you saw him, but he had the distinct smell of some cologne mixed in. It was one you didn't recognize, but it suited him well.

"I'm alright," you say, pulling away from the hug. You look him over, noting the way his eyes look like they have dark circles underneath. He looks like he hasn't slept in days, and from how he looks at you, you can tell he hasn't.

“I was out of line. I know I was out of line." His words were slow and careful, but he spoke them with such clarity. You couldn't deny the sincerity behind his voice.

You smile softly. "It's okay, Sam. I understand—"

"No! It’s not okay! I... I lost my cool and I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have said those things to you and you don't deserve that. Not at all. And I... I don't want you to leave. I can't stand the thought of it."

You place your hand on his arm, hoping to soothe him. You didn't like the way this was going. You could see how he was suffering, but you didn't know how to make him stop. He looked like he wanted to do anything to keep you from leaving.

"Hey, I'm not leaving. Sam, it's alright, you can relax. I forgive you." You rub his arm with your hand, hoping he would relax. You didn't like the way this conversation was going either.

He takes a deep breath and releases it, allowing his body to loosen up. He was so much taller than you, and his eyes always had a look in them like he wanted to say something, but he never did. Now, it seemed like he had so much to say.

"Sam?”

He looked up at you.

“What’s on your mi—”

You were suddenly cut off by his lips meeting your own. They were warm, and they felt soft against yours, but they were also rough, as if they were cracked and dry. His hand immediately went to the nape of your neck, pulling your face closer to his as his other arm wrapped around you, holding you against him. It was a little startling, but it was a good thing the room was dark. The only light coming into the room was coming from the hallway, and that was just barely enough to illuminate the space between the two of you.

You didn't know what to do with your hands, and you couldn't help but kiss him back. You had never kissed anyone like this before, and the intimacy was new to you, but it wasn't unpleasant. The warmth radiating from Sam's body was enough to make you feel dizzy.

Sam slowly pulls away, but he rests his forehead against yours. His eyes are closed, but he's breathing hard. It's quiet in the room, and you're wondering if it's just you or if he was as winded as you.

"I'm sorry." he whispers after a moment of silence, his eyes opening slightly to look at you. He keeps his eyes closed for a moment before speaking again,

"I don’t��� why did I do that?" he murmurs, opening his eyes finally. "I'm sorry, I just... I..."

You take a deep breath and smile at him. You gently place your hands on his cheeks, and he looks up at you in surprise.

"Don't be sorry." you say, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He instantly reacts, holding you by the small of your back as you press your body against him.

You pull away to look at him. You smile up at him, hoping that this is enough to ease his nerves. He's staring back at you with a look of confusion, and you can tell that he's overwhelmed by the way his cheeks begin to redden.

"Why are you... smiling?" he asks after a moment. He's obviously embarrassed.

You chuckle, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose. "I just never thought you'd ever be this forward. I always thought you were more the sweet and quiet type."

Sam was quiet for a moment before chuckling. He placed a hand over his mouth as he laughed quietly. He shakes his head as he removes it. He then takes a deep breath and looks back at you.

"You think I'm a sweet and quiet person? I don’t think any of the guards would agree with that. Or the higher ups for that matter."

You laugh, resting your forehead against his. "Well, I've come to know you more than just the blood and death that surrounds you all the time."

He laughs again, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you close to him. He rests his head in the crook of your neck, holding you tightly.

"Thank you." he murmurs. "Thank you for... not leaving."

"I told you, Sam, I’m not going anywhere. I promise."

He doesn't reply to that, and you feel him relax against you. His breathing evens out, and you feel his body become lax in your arms. It seems as though he had finally calmed down.

For a moment, you had forgotten that Marie was there, but as you turn your head to look at her, she was smiling at you. She gave you a small thumbs up, and you felt a sudden blush form on your cheeks.

You decided not to say anything about it as you wrap your arms around Sam and close your eyes. You still didn't understand the situation you had gotten yourself into, but you felt at ease with Sam. You felt like you could relax around him, and that was all you needed right now. You would have to think about everything else later.

For now, you were content with just holding each other.

[georgiapeach30513]

Your Mark on Me, Part 16

Summary: will your marks ever be enough?

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, scratching, blood, minor blood kink, slapping, mentions of abuse from Peggy, sex in front of someone, PIV sex, unprotected sex, mild breeding kink, creampie, mentions of reader's IUD removal, arrest, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.6K

Previous

Series Masterlist

“Woah, woah,” Bucky says, jumping in front of Steve. His hands press into his friend's chest as he shakes his head. Using force to push him back. Not able to say in words just what Steve needs to realize, “You can’t just barge in there.”

“The fuck I can’t. Move. Immediately. I need to see her,” Bucky shakes his head. His normally bright eyes are worn. Exhausted to a point of unrecognizing. “Please?” Steve softly begs. “I need to know she’s okay.”

“She’s not,” Bucky responds. The heavy weight of needing to tell Steve that you aren’t okay finally getting lighter as he says two words. “She’s alive, but she’s not okay.”

Bucky’s hands fall to his side, while Steve’s mouth falls open. His mental exhaustion starting to catch up with him. “I don’t know what that means, Buck.”

“Bruce checked her vitals. She’s stable, but mentally, and physically worn. She survived, which is the best possible scenario. We got her out, and she’s here.”

Steve gulps, his eyes looking around at all the closed doors. He knows that he’s going to get one chance to bolt to your room. If he goes to the wrong one, someone will stop him from going into another room using brute force. He has one chance. “What does that mean?”

“She’s a survivor,” he answers softly. Proud of you for remaining resilient and strong.

“Did — did, my god,” his voice cracks as he shakes his head. “Did someone touch her?”

“Yeah, but she isn’t talking to tell us who or what they did, but — you can see she’s been beaten,” Steve swallows bile, his eyes don’t return to Bucky. One shot. One moment to get this right. They wouldn’t put you in the front of the house, or in the back, you’d be too close to an entrance. They’d put you on the level floor, close to where food was, and you wouldn’t have to walk far. They’d make sure you have your own bathroom.

“Steve,” Bucky says, but doesn’t attempt to grab at his friend as he rushes past him. Bucky knows if anyone tried to keep him away from his Shy Violet he would bully past them. Bucky stands frozen while Steve dashes to the room he thinks is yours, and slings the door open.

Sighing, smiling, crying when he sees your sleeping form curled into a ball on the bed. You look so tiny, and infant-like. Your body seizes and twitches around, and you hold your legs to your chest tighter, and Natasha turns to watch Steve.

“She hasn’t eaten much, but Bruce gave her some medicine that would take away the pain, and help her sleep,” he takes slow calculated steps towards your bed. Hearing words coming out of Nat’s mouth, but not understanding anything. “She’s got her open wounds cleaned. Steve don’t.”

He lifts the blanket off your body, wincing when he sees the bruising and rope burns. Steve slowly lets the blanket fall before leaning over and kissing your forehead. Falling to his knees beside you, he leans onto your mattress. Just staring. Watching you sleep even if it’s not peaceful.

He’d been an idiot, and it cost you so much pain. The marks on your body is the pain that he can see was inflicted on you, but what’s worse is knowing the hurt he caused. All of this could have been avoided had he just held you close. Hidden you, Bucky, and Shy, but he was an idiot. He’s the reason that you are not only feeling all this suffering and turmoil, but he’s also the reason you seem so defeated.

It has been too long since he last saw you, and all he wants to do is gather you in his arms, and hold you until you can’t feel any bad things ever again. He makes a silent vow that you’ll never feel this again. Especially feel pain that’s connected to him in any way.

“Steve,” Nat says softly, but he waves a hand towards the door. Nobody could make him leave your side ever again. You and him would have a ribbon sewn onto each other. Have you wound so tightly close to him that people won’t know if it’s a leash for you or for him. Tethered together for all eternity. “She’s not the girl you left behind.”

“I wouldn’t expect her to be,” Nat cringes as she watches her friend. He’s so tormented imagining the things that they did to you. How they could have altered your way of living because he was a fucking idiot. “I failed the one person that I actually lo…”

“Steve?” He leans in closer to the bed, while your eyes try to focus on the man in front of you. Your breathing is erratic and wild, nose flaring as you see him. You thought you’d see him sooner, but he comes in at the last goddamn second, while you’re now a broken shell of the woman he met all those months ago.

“Steve Rogers?” You have to be sure because of what you have pumping through your veins. A rage that is so deep that you are equal to his darkness now. A blackness that has tainted your soul, and you’re not sure you can ever be brought back to the light.

“Yeah, Dovey, it’s me,” it all happens so fast. Sitting up just enough to have your weight balanced, so you can reach out in front of you. Curling your fingers slightly so you can claw down his face, desiring nothing more than to hear him scream in agony. Instead he inhales deeply, biting his tongue as he takes the assault.

You grit your teeth as you watch the mark on his face darken as beads of his blood pool to the surface. Hating yourself for finding even his flaws beautiful, and hating him all the same. There’s not much of a difference between love and hate. The sentiments are wrought with so much passion, and the blinding rage you feel is too similar to the pure love you once felt.

“Scream!” You sit up in bed, and Steve gets a front row seat of every scrape, cut, bruise, burn, and whatever torture Peggy enjoyed. Glancing so quickly over your body, but keeps his gaze on you. You hate that you saw his small reaction to your battered body, “Curse me! Hit me! Just hate me! Hate! Me!”

“I would never,” his voice is so calm and soft it makes the absolute anger simmer inside of you. Bubbling to the surface until you try and push him away. Hitting on his arms over and over again because you’re so angry. You're angry that the vile woman had you tied up like livestock and you couldn’t fight back. You let Steve feel just how much with every blow, and still he doesn’t move.

He absorbs every harsh hit to his body, before you stop. Resting your head on his shoulder, “I can never hate you.”

“But you said,” tears well in your eyes as those disgusting images of him leaving you rush through your mind. “Y-y-you pulled out, and took yourself away from me! You k-knew what coming inside of me meant! And you treated me like — like a fucking whore! Fuck you, Steve Rogers!”

“Dovey.”

You flinch away from him, but the same power in your eyes is gone. The fury is replaced with sorrow. Your words are more defeated, showing just how exhausted you are, “Don’t you fucking dare! You have no idea,” the images of how tender and caring he was play through your mind. The weight of your arms over your head, and just how sore you are. How vulnerable and weak you felt being in their presence and all you wanted was for him to use his stupid thick arms to wrap around you, and hold you tight. Telling you it was okay and this was all a dream. But you still feel them on every blemish on your skin.

“They marked me,” your voice cracks, and you curl into yourself. Unsure if someone laying their hands on you and marking you in some way is what bothers yo because that was Steve’s privilege, or if you’re reeling with the abuse they dealt you. It’s all so confusing and going through waves in your mind. Everything that has happened plays over and over. Steve slowly starts to move to the bed, and you're so done with fighting and hurting, you don’t object. He grabs at your body, pulling you into his lap, and relaxes his chin on your head, and you retch. “I see them all over me.”

“I don’t,” he’s such a fucking liar. All he does is lie. Everything he’s ever told you was false. “All I see is the most beautiful, strongest, brave, amazing woman I’ve ever met. And,” he takes a deep breath, and presses his entire hand on your neck. Using his body heat to warm up the only mark he cares about. “Dove.”

“Don’t call me that,” he holds you even tighter, realizing that you’re not going to reject him just yet. You need to feel anything but the pain they made you endure. Their pain was to torture you, while his pain was to claim you. Vastly different, and still your mind blurs the two together.

“That’s what I always call you.”

“I prefer Dovey,” his chin resting on your head is replaced with his mouth. He presses his lips against you, and holds it there. He had been so stupid. He didn’t deserve any form of forgiveness from you, but he was going to take every bit that you gave him. “I’m so tired.”

“Sleep. I won’t be leaving you. You’ll always be right by my side. I’ll never leave you again.”

“What if I asked you to,” he nuzzles his face against your head, and you wish it was that simple. They used his love for you as a weapon. The love you felt for him was bastardized as they made fun of the desperate little bird in love with Steve who he could never love back because he will always be in love with the devil. “What if I told you I never wanted to see you again.”

“I can’t do that, Dovey. Being away from you for a few weeks was torture. My blood sizzled with so much hatred towards the people that took you. I was on my way back to you, but I was too late. But I can’t walk away from you ever again.”

“Why?” For one word it packs on so many questions and convictions. Why was he so sure he couldn’t stay away from you? Why did he feel the need to leave you then, but now that he was without you there’s a difference? Why should you believe anything he says when he can change his mind so carelessly, leaving you vulnerable to vultures.

“Why?” You ask him again, sitting up from his embrace, but remain in his lap. Your bloodshot eyes and tear stained face look at him with so much confusion. How could he possibly ever feel the things that you felt? Things shouldn’t be this hard, and feel so raw. That’s all it’s ever been with Steve, transactional to a degree, but you were the one always paying him, and he took savagely and selfishly. “Why, Steve?”

“Because I love you,” you slap him hard across the face, watching his blood smear across his skin. A weird desire to lick it off of him, telling him that every drop of blood and inch of him belongs to you. Asshole. “I do, Dovey. I love you. And I feel like a coward that it took losing you in the most horrific way to realize it. To understand that my actions are only about how you are the only thing that matters to me. If you say the words, I’ll throw it all away just for you. Because you’re all I need in this world.”

All these words don’t even compare to the actions that he has done that led you to know how much he loves you. But the way that they hit you has a knot rise in your throat, stopping your ability to say anything. You just stare at his stupid handsome face streaked in blood and reddened from your slap. Hearing the words for the first time in person is a punch in the gut. You never thought three words would sound so beautiful.

“I know it doesn’t mean much right now. I failed you, Dovey. The one thing I swore I would never do. I let influences control my mind when it should have been you controlling it. I didn’t see reality because I thought I was protecting you, and instead I allowed my nightmare to come true. I’m sorry, Dovey.”

Words still never break past your lips, but you know Steve isn’t lying. You know that man isn’t telling you what you want to hear because you spent over a year trying to get him to admit his feelings. It’s the timing and the conviction that has rendered you speechless.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you and trying to make up for the things that I did. You say the word and I’ll do it. Whatever you want.”

“If I asked you to cut your hand off?”

“Which one?” Prick. You wouldn’t let him actually do that, it’s just silly. “I’m not asking to hear it back from you. It’s my turn to understand what it feels like not to hear it. But I do, I love you.”

“I don’t love you anymore, Steve,” his mouth turns up in a grin as he nods his head. Pulling you in close to him as he holds you once more. “I heard you tell me you loved me while I slept. Saw that video so many times while I was there. Had Loki taunting me. He told me that you said pretty words to make my legs spread. Funny thing though, you were nothing but a monster, and I still spread my legs for you. I ran, and you chased. I pushed you away, and you pulled me closer. Since I walked into the club, you’ve never let me live my life. I didn’t want you then, and I still don’t want you now.”

“Okay, Dovey,” he didn’t realize how the sting of your words could cut so deeply. Hitting him right to his soul, even if he didn’t believe them. For someone so beautiful, you knew what to say to make it feel worse than scorching metal on his skin. He wonders if you felt this bad while he avoided saying three words to you, he’ll start every conversation with ‘I love you’, just so you don’t forget. “I understand.”

“But,” he feels the tiniest glimmer of hope. There’s a bit of the same lightness in your voice as there was before. A bit of that cheeky tone that you used to use. Like you came back if only for one syllable. “I need you.”

You feel the gulp that he swallows right down to your core. You don’t want it, but it’s enlightening to know that part isn’t broken. You wrestle with wishing that it was broken and wondering how you ask Steve to fuck you like he hated you. Give you something that is vastly different than what you had to watch on a never ending loop. Show his passion with furiously stabbing into you, and overstimulating you, degrading you. Hate and love are powered by the same deep settled desire. And you wanted to feel both emotions with every thrust.

“But I can never love you ever again.”

“That’s fair,” he solemnly says. His fingers dig into your skin with how tightly he holds onto you. “As long as you let me keep you right by my side forever,” it is a fair trade. He’ll have to accept that you just need him. It’s all you have to offer him. It’s all that remains with your hope. Your need for him. Everything else was ripped out of you.

“What did you do to the bitch?” You look up at him with a teasing smile that is borderline demonic. You want to hear every gory detail of how he pulled her apart limb by limb. “She was the worst one. Everything she did to me was personal.”

“I know,” he pauses long enough for you to turn in his lap. Sitting face to face with him, while your legs wrap around his waist. “It’s the reason why I have Sam and Clint guarding her. After I got to her, she was forcefully and painfully tied up and brought to the club basement. She’s awaiting your punishment. While I have some colorful ways to dispose of her, I think the decision should lie with you. It’ll be the first step of my apology.”

“You — you want me to punish her?”

“If you choose. Torture her, make it quick, talk to her, whatever your mind can come up with,” oh. Oh! She broke the sane part of you, now what remains is a hellcat that wants her to suffer. All you can think about are delicious ways that you can serve her a better dish that she served you. And there was one thing that she used as a weapon, and you are going to take it back. Put the gun back in his holster. And she was going to watch every agonizing second of it.

“Looks like the brat has returned,” her voice gives you a second of pause until Steve squeezes your hand. His crystal blue eyes stay locked on you, and you can’t turn away from Peggy. “He couldn’t even finish the job. You know why?”

Steve’s throat rumbles with a growl, and it’s you that squeezes his hand. Giving him the same comfort he just gave you. She doesn’t scare you anymore. Turning to look at him with a smile. “Why don’t you sit in the chair, Captain,” you give him a wink. Cupping his cock, and wiggling you fingers at his balls. Making sure to move over his package, starting to claim him in front of her, “Lose the shirt,” he doesn’t hesitate to remove the shirt, and you watch his inky back as he glides over to a chair.

Waiting for him to sit down, and spread his legs wide. His own hand fondles himself as he smiles at you. He’s such a devil. He knew exactly what it was you’re wanting. You want this mark to be one that Peggy sees first hand. A front row seat to the most beautiful and magical moment, and she couldn’t say anything.

“What happened to your pretty face, Steve? You always said that you didn’t want your face marred with ink,” a low chuckle releases from your lips as you walk behind Steve. You told him those three marks you left on his face, running from above his brow, slashed through his lip, were sexy. They were yours in the heat of the moment. Even in anger, you still need Steve. While your body healed, Steve scarred.

He loved pain, and a pain that showed how irrecoverably he belonged to you was so much sweeter. He continued to pick at the cuts, and made them a bit deeper, a crude reminder of how vicious you can be. Making them scar, staining his face in a beautifully macabre way. “Oh, I did that to him.”

“Let me guess, you got a backhand for that?”

“I got cradled, and held against his chest while he kissed the top of my head,” her head twists towards Steve, and he confirms your words with a nod. Steve would never hurt you to put you in your place. He deserved the anger you felt towards him.

“Whatever makes you feel better, princess.”

“Have they been treating you nice? Told you what happened to your organization?”

“Drugs and pussy?”

“Mmm,” you wish she could see the malice that was zigzagging in your eyes. The way your body was buzzing like it was on drugs with anticipation. She had no idea what was coming for her.

“Sluts and drugs will always be in business. You destroy one, another will pop up.”

“What about what you were doing to me? Do you make auctions like that a normal occurrence?” She smiles at you, but refuses to answer. “I’m sure you pick a ‘prime slab of meat’ to sell to your wealthiest clients. Telling them what they want to hear because you are the police. You control where they go. And the underground system to keep your clients away?”

“Honey, if you only knew the politicians and people in power that love to come suck from my teat for women they can use. They all buy you whores. Ask Lark. She was a fun one. Nothing was off the table for her. You see she’s the worst kind of addict. The one that wants her fix so bad, she’s willing to be filmed and fucked stupid by the AD and judge at the same time. I’m sure pretty boy, Steve destroyed all the videos of evidence. Good for him, he’s always looking out for me.”

“Dovey,” god, he’s so good. You turn to look at him, needing his strength because this is harder than you could have ever imagined. She is a vile human, and you wanted her to pay in the worst possible way. “I love you, baby. I love you so much that it hurts. I’m so fucking in love with you. I can’t wait to marry you and fill you with my babies.”

“I need that,” you hear her tongue clicking as you walk towards him, “Almost as much as I need you,” you straddle his legs, letting your dress ride up your thighs, leaning into him, and kiss over the branding scar, “Do you need more?”

“Names,” he whispers into your ear. It’s exhausting trying to pry the right information out of her. Your hands rub up and down his blackened skin. Lips kissing over his body as you start to grind over him. Loving the feeling of your body being able to still have that effect on him.

“Sloppy little whore. Too bad. I had you primed and ready for secretary Ross to purchase you. Did you see me in the audience? Steve, do you realize what kind of slut you have grinding on you? You and I could be rich, baby. There were more that were willing to pay millions. Does Stark ring a bell?” Steve grips tight to your ass, holding you in place as you turn to look at her. “Howard Stark. The deal was for you to be passed from Ross to Stark. Ross was going to rent you out.”

“You’re lying,” this changes everything. You have to watch Steve’s small movements to know if you’re doing the right thing or not. This could go wrong so fast, and you just wanted her to see how much Steve loved you. If she wanted to perverse his affection for you, so could you.

“Suit yourself. Go ahead and kill me,” Steve starts to maneuver you over his lap, and you forget about her. Just look at him, and nod. You were ready. He had what he needs. More information and names.

“This is new, Dove, what’s your word?”

“Ink,” you whisper, lifting off him enough, so he can free his member. Clarence springs free of his confines, and you stroke his veiny cock a few times. Your fingers are barely able to circle around him. Rubbing his spongy head through your slick, you sigh as you sink over him.

Throwing your head back, you mewl out his name when he’s fully sheathed. Reaching up to your straps, so you can pull your top down, letting Steve almost fully see you. You commit the feeling of him splitting you open to memory. Relishing the slight sting, and it all goes to prove how very right, if not slightly painful you are for him. Your body always accommodates his size.

“Are you seriously fucking her in front of me?”

Lifting yourself up off him, you slam yourself back down. Setting a slow and hard rhythm while his hands on your ass cause your skirt to rise higher and higher until all Peggy can see is your walls clinging to Steve. Hugging onto his steel rod as you let him impale you. Picking up your neediness and pace, you go harder. Harder. Harder until you’re panting. Yipping every time he crashes into you.

“Dove.”

“Harder,” you grunt. His hands hold tightly to your body as he tries to calm your movements. “Fuck me like you own me. Like you paid to destroy me for every man. Ruin me.”

“Sick fucks,” her voice setting off his anger. He picks you up off him, and spins you around to where you're on your knees facing her. Kneeling behind you, he pounds into your warmth so hard you see stars. Screaming out his name, you disappear into his harsh pleasure.

Just feeling every inch of him, and despite how hard he thrusts into you, his hands are soft. Coaxing you through each snap. Your legs quiver as your body succumbs to his ministrations. Trying to find something to grip onto to ground you, but you slip further into sin. Just where you belong.

Still shoving into your wet heat, he lifts your back up to his front. Cupping your tits, while giving each peak a pinch. His mouth bites along your neck. “You’re so perfect for me, Dovey. No pussy has ever felt better than yours. I have never allowed anyone to claim every part of me. My mind, body, and soul are yours to own. And I will claim you over and over again, until you love me again. People tried to rip you from me, and me from you, and here we are. I love you, my sweet Dovey. And I will destroy you every night. I will degrade you, because you’re my fucking slut. My whore to use and own. My filthy girl that I love with every fiber of my being. And you are the only one who will ever own all of me.”

A gurgled scream of pleasure rips through your chest as your entire body heats up. You have waited so long for him to hear exactly all that he’s saying. You absorb him. Hold it tight to your heart, so maybe it can thaw the ice that has frozen around your heart. Little by little his love and warmth were chipping it away. Melting the remains.

You want to love him as fiercely as you did before, and you would. Eventually. “Come on my big fat cock.”

“Come on Clarence,” he sees the slight grin on your face, knowing you were becoming his sweet girl again. “Steve, fuck me so hard and deep. Come inside of me. I want to feel you in my belly. I want…”

“Don’t you fucking dare! Steve!”

“I need to feel you inside of me. Do it,” he takes a deep breath before he bites down on your neck, and your body trembles as the euphoria overtakes your body. Beautiful rounds of sparks light up your body. Your walls clamp down on his cock, and his cock pulses thick, warm, creamy cum straight into your belly. Letting your body milk every drop for itself as the two of you fuse together.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“Am I?” He asks, starting to kiss over his teeth marks. “Or was Loki for putting his hand where it didn’t belong and ripping her IUD out? She was checked out, and you better be glad you didn’t damage anything you worthless cunt.”

Steve lets his softening cock drift out of you before he pulls up his pants. He pushes his fingers into your used pussy before he picks you up. Letting you koala around his body as he walks over to Peggy. Giving her a smile before cramming his fingers into her mouth while she wriggles around, trying not to taste the two of your releases. He wants her to savor the two of you becoming one, something she never got.

“I know what you did to her. She doesn’t keep secrets from me. I know she’s unprotected right now, and we’re both willing to take that risk. I know how you tried to beat her down because you’re an insecure little bitch. You thought you had my love, but it’s not even one ounce of what I feel for Dove. Have a nice life.”

“You’re not going to kill me this time?”

“No. Sam and Bucky went through your house, and found everything we needed. Oh, you sure did like running that cock sucking mouth of yours. I can’t wait for all these politicians to realize how you sold them out. There should be a team of police with a warrant to legally obtain the evidence from your house, you know, legalities. All those whores you used to keep doped up, and sent off to prison when you were done with them, I hope you enjoy their company. Fuck you for trying to take what belongs to me, you piece of shit,” his foot presses against her chair as he pushes her back away from him.

Her chair makes a loud screeching sound, and he smiles at his cum drying around her lips. Holding onto you tighter as doors burst open, “Peggy Carter, you’re under arrest,” a voice screams, and you snuggle in tighter. Blocking out all the screaming.

“Sorry, you had to hear that, Tony.”

“Nothing I didn’t suspect. Thanks for getting us what we needed,” Steve gives the man a solid nod before he walks you away from the chaos, not stopping as he leads you completely out of the basement.

“Let’s go home, Dovey.”

“Steve?” He places you into the passenger seat of his car, reaching over you to buckle you in before he pulls out a package. Smiling at you, while you take it from his hand, “You won’t be mad at me if I take this?” he shakes his head no, while you take the small pill out of the package. “Do you want to talk about an appropriate contraceptive for us? Because I prefer when you come inside of me.”

“Do you not want an IUD anymore?” You shake your head no, grabbing a drink from the water bottle in your cup holder. “Dovey, you can use whatever makes you feel comfortable. I’m not going anywhere. I know you will let me know when you’re ready for a baby. You still want kids?”

“Are you still ending this within a year?” A nod has never meant so much to you. He vowed that this life was over for him. He didn’t want the risks that came with it, especially with children involved. “Then, yes, I still want babies with you. Until then can we go snuggle with Ember?”

“Yes, because enticing you with a little bitty baby boy is what I aim to do. Make you desire to have a baby sooner rather than later,” you weren’t unaware that’s what you were doing every time you begged to see Bucky and Shy.

“We have to wait at least a year, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees, and you lean over to him, kissing on his mark of your lips. Pecking on the skin over and over again, “You keep doing that, and you’ll have to suck my cock until we get to Bucky and Shy’s.”

“You know I will.”

“I know. It’s because you love me,” he looks over at you, smiling so wide. He’s so much more beautiful when he’s happy.

“I do love spending time with you. And I love that you are patient with me. And you love that I am getting there.”

How things have changed. Now it is Steve that’s having to just know that you do love him. You can’t say it yet. But one day you’ll be able to say it again. You’re only slightly trying to make him suffer for making you wait. But it’s more than that. It’s having to watch the way he loved you in the way he moved, and the way he felt you. It’s having to see how much he cared while other people laughed at his stupidity. It’s hearing him say those stupid words for the first time while you slept. That’s why it’s this is difficult. He felt it, he said it, he just couldn’t tell you.

Despite the struggles you’re facing, he’s remained consistent. Wearing every mark you have inflicted on him like a badge of honor. But in so many ways those marks were earned. The first day that you let him inside of you. The new ones on his face being the day that you broke down. Screaming how much you hated him, while he let you deal with your emotions through anger.

Now over his heart is a cage with its door open. He let you go enough, fly out on your own, to know you would come back. He doesn’t keep you locked away in your cage, but instead has made you his equal. His only thing that keeps him alive and sane. Somehow some stupid naive girl found a way to tame the beast. And to mark him, claiming her territory. And for you he will always be.

Yours.

Always yours.

Embedded in your skin, while you linger all over his.

The End, Friend

Masterlist

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@nyxbellabarnes @buckybarnesisdaddy @rogersbarber

[niningtori]

to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter one: do you not love me? like at all?

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, kang taehyun x you

summary: you love beomgyu more than anything. you just wish he loved you, too. or you finally break up with beomgyu and move on, but as for him? maybe he's starting to realize too little too late.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?)

word count: 2.1k

notes: hi friends! ... r u mad at me? be honest (*´ｪ｀*) i'm sorry i've been gone for so long, but i've had the worst writer's block with my other story. i decided to just post this because i couldn't get the idea of toxic!beomgyu out of my head. don't worry, he will suffer. anyway, i hope you like it!! if not, please don't hurt my feelings i beg.

"i told you it was nothing. why are you freaking out?"

"she was fucking you with her eyes, beomgyu!" you exclaim in frustration.

"and that's my fault how?"

"it's not your fault, but i'm sick of you entertaining women, let alone your actual fucking ex, while i'm standing right next to you!" his ex is just another fish in the barrel, or at least that's what he says, but the thought that they were intimate together at one point still makes you feel sick. truthfully, your boyfriend is handsome, so you've spent the better part of the past 10 months warding off the women who circle him like vultures. you wouldn't mind as much as you do if he seemed at all interested in helping you do so, especially when faced with his ex that you suspect he still has feelings for, but he does not. quite the opposite, actually. it's like he thrives off of the attention and god it hurts.

"i'm not entertaining anybody. i told her i have a girlfriend now," he, well, you would say argues, but it's said so nonchalantly it doesn't warrant the term.

"a girlfriend you proceeded to ignore while she hung off of your shoulders and laughed all night! i just don't understand how you don't understand how much it hurts my feelings. i'm a human too! how would you feel if my ex, who was very clearly interested in me, hung around me right in front of you?" and it's like you're explaining empathy to a child.

"me? i wouldn't give a fuck because it's not that serious," he replies with a slightly irritated shake of his head.

it's always like this. always. you're always the one who cares more between the two of you. you were the one who asked him out in the first place. you were the one who initiated your first kiss. your first fight. hell, even your first reconciliation. you're not stupid, you know he doesn't feel quite the same way you do, but he has to feel something, right? otherwise, why would he say yes to you when he's rejected so many other women? your brain hurts trying to wrap your head around it all.

"you're missing the point! if you were me, you would—" you begin frustratedly, but you cut yourself off. "you know what? i don't even have the energy to explain this to you. i don't understand why i have to explain basic human emotion to you and i really don't understand why i have to beg and plead for you to care about how i feel!" you all but shriek.

"you don't have to do shit, just leave if you're that fucking unhappy," he spits out angrily, which is the first real emotion — besides mild annoyance — you've seen out of him this entire conversation. he gets impatient when you're like this, which usually results in you relenting, but not tonight. you're far too hurt to let go so easily.

"you're right! i am unhappy! i just — why don't you care that i'm unhappy? what can i do to make you give a fuck about me?" you have a brave face on but you can feel your eyes getting hot and your voice trembling ever so slightly.

"you could try not being so damn needy, maybe that'd help."

your eyes redden even further and your lips unintentionally twist themselves into a sour frown. you hate it when he calls you needy because you do need a lot from him, it feels like. his time. his care. his attention and affection. yet you never seem to get it.

"do you not love me? like at all?" you ask. all of the venom in your tone has been sucked out mercilessly and you sound more helpless than angry.

"do you not realize how fucking crazy you sound?" he scoffs as if he can't fathom why you'd be upset. as if he's not watching you break down in real time.

"why won't you give me a straight answer?" you question, voice softer than it was before.

he does nothing but scowl and you know beomgyu well enough to know that he's avoiding your question. that's enough of an answer as it stands, really. he doesn't care. never has. probably never will.

"then why'd you even say yes to dating me?" you truly don't understand. you thought you were different. you thought he saw something in you he didn't see in his harem of other suitors, and trust that there were many.

"i dunno. i was just bored, i guess," he answers with a shrug and your world as you know it collapses. the man you love sees you as nothing more than a way to kill time. he's picking you up right now just to toss you away when the next shiny toy presents itself. and so far, you've let him drag you around because you love him. that's how much you love him. but looking at him now, at how unbothered he is, you wonder if you've even got anything left to give.

"i really do love you," you manage to squeeze out with a bitter smile. your poor heart is on display for the naked eye to see and it seems like he really couldn't care less, but that won't stop you from asking. "does that mean anything at all to you?"

"well, i'm sorry you feel that way," he says simply, "but that's not my fucking problem."

your heart sinks to your stomach and you feel like you're going to throw up. in this moment, as you watch the love of your life dismiss you like you're a fucking dog begging for scraps of food, you feel an overwhelming sense of clarity as you realize he doesn't love you. he doesn't even like you. he probably hates you, actually. like a mental montage, every moment in which he showed you that exact sentiment plays all at once in your head.

all those times you let him choose everything from movies to dinner because the idea of a compromise was inconceivable. all of those occasions, special and otherwise, where you were supposed to go out on a date, but he'd bail without a word and you'd forgive him with no apology. when you'd offer him your share of dessert because he ate all of his and you knew he wanted more, and he'd take it without so much as a thank you. how you'd sit and listen to him tell stories about how amazing his friends were, but he'd never even ask about your day. when those same friends would jokingly call you the perfect girlfriend and you thought it was an indication of how good your relationship was, but in reality, it was a way to tease him because the thought of actually being with you was so abhorrent and ridiculous that it must be a joke. all those times you told him you loved him and he'd just smile and kiss you deeper. memories like these flood your brain with a vengeance so cruel it makes your head ache, and in a way, you realize it's ridiculous to be surprised when there was so much proof of his feelings in the first place.

"oh. okay," you say with what you hope is a soft and unbothered laugh, but comes out more as a choked one. "i guess there's nothing left to say. i'll get my shit and go."

you hesitate for a few excruciatingly awkward moments before collecting yourself enough to start gathering your things, which are scattered haphazardly around his apartment from his bedroom to his bathroom. it's like a walk of shame, almost, and you feel even shittier when he plops down on the couch with a long suffering sigh as he begins to massage the bridge of his nose. you feel so small in this moment — like a petulant child who just got done throwing an unsuccessful tantrum — and you're now soaking in the sobering aftermath and sitting with the thought that he just watched you have a meltdown like he was watching a monkey putting on a show. how much more is he going to humiliate you? enough is enough, you think, so before you can actually finish collecting all of your belongings, you're scurrying out of the apartment. before you go, you glance back at him one last time. "beomgyu?" you ask tentatively, tears clouding your eyes.

"yeah?" he replies with a sigh. this is it, you think.

"i don't want to see you ever again," you say firmly. before he can reply, if he ever intended to in the first place, you slam the door.

-

there's a lot to love about beomgyu. for one, he's handsome, which is obvious, but he has a certain allure you could never help but be drawn in by. he's always been a charming man, but even more so when he's talking to a woman he's interested in. as interested as he could be, that is. he's funny and comically pompous when he wants to be, but still somehow down to earth despite it all.

he's been described as a mood-maker, and while he grew to resent that term, you thought it was at least partially true, if only in the context of your relationship. when he's sad, you're devastated. when he's happy, you're over the fucking moon. his feelings are your whole world. or were, you guess, since all that's over now.

it wasn't all bad all the time, you think. there were times where you thought he really might reciprocate even a fraction of what you felt for him, and most of the time, that was enough. you could work with that. love looks different for everyone, you would reason. maybe he just had a funny way of showing it.

there were days where you'd laugh together and end the night lying in each other's arms while you'd cradle him like he was the most precious thing in the whole world because, to you, he really was. he was normally so boisterous when with his friends, but while he would never admit it to anyone else, he'd tell you about some of his insecurities while you gently combed your fingers through his long, silky hair. he'd speak of regrets and longing for people to take him more seriously. he'd never say it, but he wanted people to see you like you saw him. the real him. you'd let him cry while your hands cupped his cheeks and you'd shush him while he fiddled mindlessly with your hair like a child. you'd kiss his the tip of his reddened nose until he laughed instead of cried. times like those, you'd really think you were someone special to him. but now you realize you were wrong. you were just an outlet for him, and anyone willing to be an emotional dumping ground would do the trick too.

after a few weeks of moping, your sadness has begun to morph into anger and resentment. you spent nearly a year of your life trying to make an emotionally stunted man care about you, and that's not even counting the years of pining over him before you finally worked up the courage to ask him out. it was difficult to see it in the moment, but after being away from him for so long, it's crystal clear that he was honestly just an asshole who didn't really like you. nothing more, nothing less. maybe he'd find someone to change for someday, maybe he'd even work things out with his ex, but for whatever reason, you weren't her. that's just the way it goes, you guess. what really bothers you are the "what if's" of the situation. what if you were prettier, or smarter, or kinder. would he have seen you for who you really are? would he have grown to appreciate you if you had given him more to appreciate?

either way, there's no use crying over spilled milk now. you won't be going back to him any time soon and he certainly won't come crawling back to you. you'll continue to think of him less and less until your time together fades into a distant (and unpleasant) memory. you smile at the thought.

[huntershoe]

THE BAD BATCH PROMPT EVENT

A/N: I would like to thank @arctrooper69 for making this prompt and giving me a great idea. I am a little late tho because I only saw the post yesterday evening. I chose the NSFW prompt since I am trying to improve my smut writing abilities ;)

Summary: After intense past months, the tension between you and Hunter finally snaps.

Warning: NSFW (18+) minors DNI.

Word count: 2439

Thank you for reading!

It has been months since you, Hunter and Wrecker had any break, the fast pacing time and events simply wouldn't let you rest, even a good night sleep was rare. And with that of course came another few things to complain about. You and Hunter used to be so much more physically active together, and not just the flaming hot crazy sex, but also just small kisses here and there when no one was looking, the fleeting touches, just to reassure each other's presence.

It's not that you don't love him anymore, or the other way around, it's just that the stress from loosing Tech and Omega was too great, it wouldn't let you relax even for a second, knowing that Omega is still out there, suffering maker knows what.

So yes, you actually couldn't remember the last time you and Hunter managed to let out some steam and fuck and the only time you would get to kiss him was if you both managed get into your bunk at the same time to sleep and Wrecker took the watch.

The last few months consisted of constant deadly missions, doing the dirty work just to get some information, which usually ended up being useless but that didn't stop you and you kept on risking your life every day, to find Omega.

So once you got a mysterious transmission, sounding like Omega and telling you to meet at some backwater location, you didn't know what to believe. It simply sounded too good to be true. You could still remember the moment Omega ran down the ramp and into Wrecker's arms, it really was a sight to see, just like Wrecker said.

You were the second one Omega ran to, and you knelt down in front of her, squeezing her into a tight hug, until Omega spotted Hunter on top of the ramp, looking down at his two favourite girls with a small smile.

From then on, everything changed once Crosshair walked down the ramp to everyone's surprise.

Crosshair's arrival made Hunter a bit on edge, he didn't trust his brother as much as he wanted to. Who could blame him, Crosshair was the one hunting them just a little more than six months ago.

On top of that, with Crosshair now being around again, Hunter seemed more...pissy, it greatly bothered him that the sniper acted like nothing happened, like he didn't need to explain his actions.

With that, tension was all time high, because Hunter being pissy and on edge, made you pissy and on edge so you were constantly bickering. That's exactly why you were in the middle of a fight that was gradually becoming bigger and bigger, making Crosshair roll his eyes and go down to the beach with Batcher and Wrecker taking Omega fishing.

Not even realizing you two were now alone in the Marauder, yelling at each other about the most silly things until the topic somehow ended up on your failing relationship, or how it seemed that it was slowly failing.

And when Hunter tried to come up with a dumb excuse as to why he was pulling away, because he himself didn't actually know why but he just felt like he had to explain himself and when you called him on his bulshit he groaned, holding his head as he rolled his eyes and tried to walk away.

You weren't about to let him go, especially when you heard him mutter a quiet "Just go fuck yourself."

He couldn't help himself, it just escaped his lips and he knew he screwed up when you let out a loud scoff, crossing your arms in front of you and glared at his back. "Fuck me yourself, you coward."

That made him stop in his tracks and his breath hitched, not knowing if he heard you right and trying to decide how to respond back if he did indeed heard you right. Hunter turned around, his head moving before his body as he looked at you with raised brows. "What?"

You knew Hunter didn't mean it, he wasn't the type of man to insult someone and you knew very well that these past months weren't just bad for you but also for him. You knew it wasn't his fault that you two grew apart but still, you were frustrated. Frustrated that you can't have him like you used to, that you can't show him how deeply you actually love him, that even when you do, he barely acknowledges it. Frustrated with yourself that you were still thinking so selfishly. "You heard me, Hunter."

You rolled your eyes, still a little angry and tapping your feet against the ground. "I mean it's been months since you've last kissed me properly,"  You tried to justify your comeback, the last of your frustration fading away and embarrassment and self consciousness taking its place as you averted your eyes down to your fiddling fingers.

The embarrassment only intensified when Hunter stayed silent, just looking at you with his head tilted making you nervous in front of him for the first time since you've entered the relationship with him. "I...I know we hadn't had the time for us in these past months but I just miss us...I miss you Hunter." You started rambling, your voice getting quieter until you just barely whispered the last part but Hunter only stayed still, silently watching, making it worse.

The nerves finally got the best of you and you closed your eyes. "please say something." You whispered as tears started forming in your eyes. You let out one final breath waiting for him, to give you a sign, something, anything, to show you he still wants you and your relationship.

And when even after a few moments, he didn't let out a single sound, you turned away to hide your tears that finally spilled. Thinking that this was the end of it, you began walking away, trying to hide but you only managed to make a few steps before you felt someone grabbing your arm, stopping and spinning you.

Your eyes opened in shock as the world suddenly began spinning around you until your body came to a sudden halt and your chest was pressed against a solid and all to familiar armour. You didn't even get to look up at Hunter properly before his lips connected to yours and your body froze.

One of Hunter's hands sneaked around your waist, pulling you closer and securing you against his chest while his other hand moved up from your forearm to your cheek as he pressed a long and loving kiss against your lips. Butterflies exploded in your stomach and a warm feeling spread across your whole body. You slowly relaxed into his arms and your eyes closed as your own hands began sneaking up his armor plates and behind his neck. Hunter gently bit down on your lower lip, making you gasp in surprise. He took the chance, deepening the kiss, he slowly sneaked his tongue against yours, playing with it while exploring your mouth, trying to map every corner just like he used to.

This kiss was everything you wanted, everything you needed, everything...you missed these past months.

Your tongue danced around his, like two snakes, wrapping around each other as your hands moved higher up into his hair and he let out a quiet groan once you gently pulled on a strand of his hair.

None of you were even considering on pulling away, until your lungs began burning with the need for oxygen. Gently pulling away from his lips, you opened your eyes slowly. Your eyes locked with his as both of your chests heavied up and down, gasping for air.

His mesmerizing golden brown eyes were looking at you softly. Holding so many emotions, so much love for you, it made you feel bad about your latter outburst.

"Mesh'la" Shivers ran down your back at the Mandalorian nickname Hunter murmured while moving his hand from your cheek to a rogue strand of hair and tucked it behind your ear. "I'm sorry." Your eyes flickered from his right to left eye, until he closed them for a long moment and reopened them, watching you intensely.

"I never wanted to make you feel this way." His voice was laced with regret and he slowly moved his hand behind your neck, slowly pushing your head closer until your foreheads touched in keldabe kiss.

"Let me...us start this again."

Hope filled your chest and it almost felt like a giant stone rolled of off your heart. A smile grew over your lips and you moved your right hand on his tattooed cheek. Following the pattern of the black ink, your finger danced in small circles, until it stopped on his lips.

"Let's try this again."

You watched how his pupils slowly dilated, watching you with pure adoration.

"Good." Hunter rasped and then attacked your lips. It was like a switch in him flipped, letting out a man starving for you as his both hands moved down to your hips, pushing you against him while his tongue battled for dominance.

You felt dizzy, your eyes rolling back as they fell shut.

A breathy moan escaped past your lips as Hunter moved his hands lower to your ass, squeezing it hungrily and one of your leg automatically went up and locked around his hip.

You felt him pull back for a second to breathe, his chest violently moving up and down, just like yours.

"Good thing they left us alone."

Hunter murmured and a smirk spread across his lips as he kneaded your ass. You couldn't hold yourself back anymore and you kissed him again, pulling yourself as close to him as possible until Hunter gently tapped your ass, signaling you to jump and you did.

He caught you and you wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles behind him. With your legs out of the way, Hunter began walking towards your shared bunk bed all while still managing to take your breath away.

He moved to sit down on the edge of the bed and with this newfound position, you could feel just how aroused he was, his hard-on poking through the gasps of his armor.

Moving your hands down his armored chest, you began taking off any piece of his armor that you could get your hands on. Helping you, Hunter took off his main chest plate, throwing it away mindlessly. With that, your hands found his cod piece and you began tugging it away, freeing his achingly hard cock.

Hunter let out a loud groan, his hands once again moving to your ass and pulling you closer and over his hard-on.

Moaning at how perfectly this position allowed you to grind your clit directly over his cock you began rolling your hips over and over.

Letting out a string of curses, Hunter broke the kiss and began planting open mouthed kisses all over your neck, starting at your jaw.

"Fuck mesh'la." Hunter groaned deeply before he started nibbling on that perfect spot just under your jaw.

After all these months of no physical contact like this, it made you so much more desperate to reach that perfect peak of ecstasy. Hunter could tell you were already close, with all those moans and gasps you were letting out. It was enchanting to watch you, so beautiful, sexy, mesmerizing. He couldn't take his eyes off of you as you neared your orgasm.

You felt amazing, in the arms of your lover and nearing your peak. Your eyes were rolling back and your breath hitched, just as you thought your orgasm would roll over Hunter stood up in a split second and gently threw you on the bed.

Gasping in surprise and then whining as that perfect peak subsided you opened your eyes wide, only to see him kneel in front of you and take off his black gloves.

"I want you coming all over my face and fingers." A quiet mewl escaped you, his voice was low, almost growling as he threw his gloves somewhere behind him and then grabbed your waist band, pulling it down quickly. A loud groan left him as he spotted a big wet spot on the crotch of your pants.

Hunter pulled both your pants and panties off in one go, throwing them over his shoulder just like he did with his gloves. Another growl escaped him as he grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulder and pulled you up, closer to his face.

You watched his face, how his eyes looked at you hungrily and he wetted his lips, you saw his nostrils dilate as he breathed in your sweet scent. He looked downright sinful as you saw him close his eyes and lick a long stripe up across your folds, making you moan. Another loud groan echoed through the ship as Hunter began feasting on you.

Wrapping his lips around your clit he began sucking on it as if his life depends on it. His mouth felt amazing on you and you couldn't help but to grab onto his hair as you felt yourself quickly approaching that wonderful high again. A loud gasp left you when you felt his fingers prodding on your entrance. "Please Hunter, more." Feeling desperate enough you begged, rolling your hips into his face.

Wanting to fulfill your every wish, Hunter entered two fingers in you, groaning when your pussy clenched around them immediately. He expertly hit that spongy spot, managing to pump his fingers in and out only a few times before your eyes rolled back and your lips opened in O shape, letting out a long moan as your orgasm hit you.

Your body shook and Hunter had to hold onto you to keep you from moving too much as he kept on sucking on your juices. After a few more moments of pure ecstasy you began feeling overstimulated and you had to actually pull Hunter off of you by his hair. He looked wild, licking his lips and his eyes black as night, he was panting when he finally pulled away a little more just to suck on his fingers full of your juices. "One of these days I'm gonna take my time with you and won't stop for hours." Hunter growled, looking down, directly at your pussy.

You looked at him, your face completely flushed and you grinned at him. "Come here soldier." And you pulled him closer, connecting your lips with him.

Maybe this will be even better than before.

[crossvise]

Summary; reader and Phil have a fight and says some hurtful things but they make up in the end.

Warnings; some swearing and some hurtful words

angst ( with a good ending )

Recovery was hard and painful both physically and mentally, it was challenging and sometimes, you were just upset at the whole world that it had to be you. Phil was barely back in the WWE and got badly injured on the first big event he participated.

That night, you were there backstage, watching the men’s Royal Rumble, you saw that DDT and how Phil was different after taking it. You could’ve sworn something was wrong- the way he kept reaching for his elbow, you were honestly more worried about this than the outcome of the match.

When he came back after losing against Cody, your fears were confirmed as his elbow was wrapped in ice. At that time, you didn’t even know how bad it truly was, yet your heart broke for him- he didn’t deserve to go through that. He was finally back and his moment was taken away from him.

Before you even had the confirmation that Phil’s injury was a torn tricep, you promised him you’d be there for him for each step of recovery- no matter if it would be a short or long one. Sadly, what was suspected ended up being right, your boyfriend would require surgery for his torn tricep and would be out for months.

It had been a couple of weeks since the Royal Rumble and Phil’s injury, it hadn’t been easy but you had been there for your boyfriend- you tried your best to make his life easier wether it was bringing a few more cushions on the sofa so his arm could lay comfortably or do chores that weren’t easy with one arm.

However, the last few days were getting harder, mostly for Phil but you were the one who had to suffer through his bad mood. You knew he probably didn’t even realize he was being an ass, so you just let it flow, you didn’t want to cause an argument as you never had a big one with your boyfriend and you wanted it to remain that way.

Today, Phil had been in a particularly bad mood- everything seemed to annoy him, even your mere presence. You didn’t say much and just let him be for the time being. When you came back from work, Phil wasn’t back from rehab for his elbow- which was unusual. It became a routine for you to get back home and be greeted by your boyfriend, then you’d go on a walk with Larry.

It wasn’t without your heart feeling heavy that you went on a walk with Larry. Phil adopted him years ago, way before you, but from the start of your relationship, Larry became so important to you, in a way, he was like your son. You tried not to overthink during your walk but it was hard- you were wondering if you had done something wrong? Perhaps, it was worse than that and Phil didn’t love you anymore.

Larry and you made it back home at the same time as Phil but you didn’t address him a single word until you were sitting on the couch- you were too upset with him to start a conversation.

Phil probably realized something was wrong as you didn’t initiate a conversation or even ask him how rehab had been today, “ how was work? ”

“ Fine. How was rehab? ”

“ Fine too.”

You nodded, not having much to say but a part of you was also being petty and chose to give him as much energy as he gave you. Phil sighed, “ are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“ There’s nothing going on.”

“ I’m not stupid, y/n. You usually ask me right away how rehab was, you always talk to me but not today?”

You shrugged, hesitating a few seconds, wondering if you should bring up his behavior for the past few days- it couldn’t keep going like this, “ I don’t know, you’ve be an ass to me for the past few days and I don’t get why. I don’t get it, I’ve been doing my best to make sure you’re not in pain or doing something that could hurt you more.”

“ Didn’t you consider that maybe I don’t need you to do all that? I’m not helpless, I’ve been through plenty of injuries and surgeries. It’s sweet that you want to help me but honestly? You’ve been suffocating.”

Those words stung like hell, you didn’t really expect to hear that in all honesty, all you wanted was to make it easier for him, “ and you couldn’t just tell me I was doing too much instead of being an asshole?”

“ Oh come on! I was not an asshole, I’ve just been annoyed with you.”

“ Okay, I won’t do anything for you anymore.”

Phil rolled his eyes dramatically, accompanied by a loud sigh, “ that’s not what I said, don’t dramatize it. I just want to breathe, to be left alone and not have someone babying me as if I’m not a grown ass man.”

“ This someone happens to be your girlfriend Phil, and I was not babying you. I’m sorry if it seemed that way, I just wanted to help.”

“ Well, if I had known you’d be like this when we got together, I would’ve thought twice before asking you out.”

If you had been shot at that same moment, you were sure it would’ve hurt less than Phil’s words, from the look on his face, he also realized what he said but it was too late to take it back. You choked up on your words as only a “ oh ” came out. Maybe you had been right when you wondered if he didn’t love you anymore, it sure seemed the case at this moment.

Tears in your eyes, you got up and rushed to your shared bedroom- you didn’t think much but if there was something you knew, it was that you didn’t want to see Phil’s face anymore today. You grabbed an empty sport bag and shoved a couple of clothes in it, you’d come back to get more if needed later.

Once you were done, you headed to your car but not before giving Larry a kiss on the top of his head. Phil rushed after you as soon as he saw you leaving with a bag, “ baby, please wait! ”

“ Fuck you, Phil.”

With that, you drove away from the place you called home- you hadn’t really planned where you’d go for the night, you just drove for a while to cool off and ended finding a hotel to spend the time. You had friends you could’ve crashed at for the night but you didn’t want to burden them with the fight you just had with Phil.

It was only later in the night when you were laying in the hotel’s bed that you finally dared to look at your phone- Phil had tried to call you countless of times and texted you a couple of times asking you to come back, that he was sorry and begging you to, at least, tell him you were somewhere safe.

Which you did, you replied with a simple and short “ I’m safe, sleeping at a hotel.” as soon as you hit the send button, you shut your phone off for the night and tried your best to fall asleep. It wasn’t an easy task, the fight you had with your boyfriend replying in your head for a majority of the night until exhaustion took over and allowed you a few hours of sleep.

The next morning, you found it hard to get up from bed, not only you had only gotten a couple hours of sleep but they also had been terrible- this bed wasn’t as comfortable as the one from home and honestly, sleeping without Phil next to you was hard. When you looked up at your phone, mostly to call in sick for work, you had a few more texts from your boyfriend.

Some were more apologies, other were begging you to come home or to give him the address so he could come to you to talk. Did you want to see and talk to Phil again after yesterday? You weren’t sure but you needed clarity- you wanted to know if he still loved you at least or if you were over.

The latter thought broke your heart a bit more than it already was, you didn’t really imagine your future without Phil in it- that’s why you ended up texting him the address of the hotel you were staying at for now.

Only an hour later, Phil was knocking on the door of the hotel room you were staying in- you had taken a shower and ate a little in the meantime but let’s be honest, you looked like a mess. You took a deep breath before you slowly opened the door and let Phil in with a barely audible “ hi. ”

Your boyfriend came with a beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers, “ these are for you, sweetheart. ”

“ Thank you, they’re beautiful. ”

“ Not as beautiful as you.”

You dramatically rolled your eyes at this, these one liners wouldn’t be enough to have you forgive him, “ yeah, I look miserable today but thank you still. ”

“ You look beautiful even when you look tired. ”

“ So… you wanted to talk?”

Phil stayed silent for a second, as if he was carefully choosing how to words what he wanted to say, “ I’ve fucked up, I know it and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve said. I didn’t mean it, these past few days, I’ve grown really frustrated but not with you. With myself. I’m frustrated to have to stay back and miss many events, I thought this year was finally my year- that I’d get to main event Wrestlemania and keeping it all for me wasn’t the right move because I ended up lashing out on you when you just wanted to help.”

“ You should’ve talked to me, Phil. I don’t mind giving you space, I just needed to know that.”

“ I know and again, I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re suffocating, I like that you care so much for me, sometimes it’s a bit too much but that’s on me for not telling you to stop.”

You nodded, you were glad that Phil was finally opening up to you, that’s all you needed from the get-go. Yet, there was still a thought lingering on your mind and you needed clarification on it, “ do you still love me?”

“ What? Sweetheart, of course I love you! You’re the love of my life, you are so important to me. I’m sorry for being such an asshole that you thought I didn’t love you anymore.”

Pain could be read in Phil’s eyes and his words managed to reassure you, a small smile tugging you your lips, you said, “ this was the worst night in my life, I don’t think I can sleep without you anymore.”

Phil laughed at this and gently pulled you into a hug, you had missed him so much.

[urfavleo777]

warnings: a mention of death, loneliness, depression. soundtrack: last christmas, santa baby, let it snow! let it snow! let it snow!

this is part 1.

The day before Christmas 10:15 PM

"Oh, thank you so much, Y/n," your boss said warmly. A few strands fell onto her narrow shoulders, caressing the fabric of her burgundy sweater. She was no more than sixty but with her class she would still beat most of the modern supermodels.

You've been working at Josephine's shop since November with the main goal of earning extra money for your college. You needed it to pay for your college tuition. Before, your financial situation was making you suffer. You no longer had any hope. You were even close to dropping out of college. But then Josephine appeared, looking for an employee for her Christmas store. After a very long period of poverty you could finally afford a nutritious meal during the day.

Your previous boss didn't treat you right. He was behind in paying you money, he didn't respect the fact that you had studies outside of work, and there were times when he was verbally violent towards you.

Josephine was always understanding towards you and took an extremely sensible approach to mental health. She assured you many times that if you felt unwell, she would immediately offer you a break from work for a few days. You tried not to take advantage of her kindness, so at ten o'clock in the morning you diligently fulfilled your duties in the Christmas store.

Today was quite… different. It was Friday evening and instead of enjoying your free time in your small apartment, Josephine asked you to take over the duties until midnight.

"I have so much mess to clean up at home, and tomorrow is the day. If you said no, I would probably have let all my grandchildren down. Last year I promised them I will bake cupcakes for the next Christmas. They were so excited and happy about it…"

You giggled at her adorable confession.

"No problem, I swear," you assured her, but the woman didn't seem fully convinced. "Josephine, I don't mind staying here for a bit longer. It helps me to relieve stress a lot."

Josephine pursed her lips. Then she straightened her slightly hunched back and whispered with a soft smile on her face:

"Your soul is so pure. Your parents must be so proud of you."

At the sound of these words, spoken with surprising lightness, you immediately stiffened.

Parents, a thought crossed your mind.

Right. She couldn't know.

You brushed strands of long hair from your cheek, smiling awkwardly. Josephine started looking chaotically for her purse. Once she found it, she hugged you and squeezed your hands. When you felt her warmth in your hands, you froze. No one has ever given you as much love as Josephine did in that moment.

"Thank you so much, Y/n, but I really have to go. I'll make it up to you!" She turned and started towards the exit. When the door opened, frosty night air rushed in. An old guy walked in, passing your boss, but you didn't pay attention to him. Instead, you looked in Josephine's green eyes for the last time. She lowered her voice a bit, continuing. "Merry Christmas, Y/n."

Oh, no one in this world knew how much you hated those words. You swallowed loudly, pushing away the feeling of sadness with all your strength. The sight of the smile on the woman's face made you feel a knot in your stomach.

"Merry Christmas, Josephine," you replied, trying to reciprocate this warm gesture. After a moment, you realized that you had said it to yourself. Josephine was already gone. Now in the room, there was only you and an older customer, probably looking around for gifts for his loved ones.

11:55 PM

"Uh, is anybody there?"

You caught yourself falling asleep, but the stranger's nervous and deep voice woke you up.

You looked up from the till and saw an older man standing in front of you. His white beanie and fluffy Christmas sweater definitely caught your attention. You rubbed your eyes and was about to laugh when you realized how thin he was dressed. Okay, maybe he wasn't that old.

It seemed like he had arrived by car, because no one would wear just a sweater in a snowstorm like that. Before you could respond, the man overtook you.

"Okay, okay. I know you're about to close, but listen to me. This case is extremely serious. I drove all over town and, damn it! All Christmas shops are already closed! Can you help me choose the gifts? If you don't help me, I will be.."

You raised an eyebrow, trying your best not to smile. He got stuck in his little speech, but you had no idea why. Instead of continuing, he lost himself in your gaze, completely ignoring the ticking of the clock behind you. His mouth hung open slightly and his eyes which were already almost black seemed to darken as he focused on you. His body went rigid as he searched your eyes. Your heart was pounding in your chest. He was beautiful. You had never thought of a guy as beautiful, and it was strange. It was strange how he seemed to be looking right into your soul. But you didn't mind. No, you didn't care at all.

Or.. maybe a little bit.

In fact, you were the one who jumped back like someone had burned you when you realized it was almost time to close the shop.

"You must leave this store. Now."

"Huh?" he frowned, distracted. It took a while for it to dawn on him. "No! You can't do this to me."

You took the key out of the locker and were in the process of closing the cash register. Shit. Nobody taught you how to do that. That was always Josephine's responsibility and she was the one who always closed the shop. The man looked at you strangely. You decided to pretend you knew what you were doing.

"Do you even work here?" he mocked.

You felt his eyes on you and you clenched your jaw. You glanced up to tell him to piss off, but then your eyes met and the feeling of anger melted away. His eyes were widened slightly as you looked at him curiously. He felt the nerves radiating off of you. You shot him a tight lipped smile and you felt himself smile back. Fuck.

"Shit," you cussed under your breath. "I have to close the shop now."

You were still struggling to close the cash register.

"I'll help you close it," he muttered, still staring at you but you were too tired to even notice. "I've dealt with this before, too."

"And why should I believe you? Maybe you are some kind of thief? "

11:58. Fuck. The time was passing.

"I am not a thief."

"And why should I believe you?" you repeated the question once again.

"Just google my name," he sighed a little tiredly. You blinked your eyes twice, not knowing what he meant. "Let me buy something for my parents and I'll do whatever you want."

When you heard parents, you forgot what he had just told you. You were definitely traumatized or triggered by the word "parents", which was usually noticeable by the sudden change in your behavior.

Your soft breaths echoed through the whole Christmas shop. You lowered your head, completely embarrassing yourself in front of the potential client. It was the second time today. At least you didn't have to explain yourself to Josephine because you were able to mask it before.

"Please, don't hurt him." Y/n cried. "Please, I can't lose him too."

[…]

"Don't take loans on the black market, or you'll end up just like them."

[…]

"I'm completely alone."

[…]

"Shit, are you okay?"

You looked up, grimace on your face as the tall body of a man came into view. He looked concerned as he crouched down before you. His dark eyes searched for any indication you were in pain and when he saw you weren't he held out his hand for you to take.

"I'm okay," you nodded. "What am I doing on the floor?"

"I saw you fall," he said, as he lifted you up. You brushed the dust and dirt from your jeans. "Does it hurt?"

"No," you shook her head, still stunned. "Not much anyways."

"You hit the ground pretty hard," he frowned. "Maybe you should get yourself checked out."

You let out a forced laugh and he raised a brow. "Honestly, I'm good."

He nodded his head, eyes narrowed slightly before sighing. "Let me take care of you. Need a ride?"

God, just a few seconds ago he was using his all strength to buy something for his parents. Unless..

"Show me your pockets."

"What?" he frowned. He tried to find some clue in your eyes. "You think I stole something?"

God, he was atleast a foot taller than you were and you had to crane your neck to look at him.

"Well, seems like I have no choice," he shrugged.

The two of you fell silent, it wasn't awkward but neither knew what to say. He emptied all his pockets, the only things he had were his phone and his bank card.

You wanted to sink into the ground.

This stranger just offered to help you and you thought he was a thief. You tilted your head back, thinking about your next move.

You sighed, knowing exactly what you should do.

"Take it."

You handed him a matching sweaters that you assumed should be for his parents. He sighed in relief.

He was about to take out his card to pay, but you placed your hand on his, trying to making him understand that he doesn't have to pay.

"Just close the till, please." You smiled, feeling a bit better now. "And make your loved ones happy."

"No," he refused quickly "I have to pay for it. There is nothing for free."

It took a while to convince him not to pay. He finally sighed and accepted the two wrapped gifts from you. After he closed the till, he offered you a ride once again.

"Why don't you introduce yourself first?"

You were just leaving the store. It was cold. That was perhaps the understatement of the century. You couldn't remember the last time you had been so cold: the spiteful wind sliced through you like a sharpened blade, leaving a chill that shook you to your very core, and you tightened the thick scarf around you neck, pulling it up over your mouth. You locked the door and both went away, looking for his car, which wasn't parked that far away.

"It's strange that you don't know me."

"Woah, so you're kind of celebrity?" you laughed loudly. "You've got a big ego, man."

You finally reached his car. You didn't even notice the color because it was too dark and the car itself was covered in snow. But it didn't matter.

"Oh, that's very kind of you. Thank you." You said surprised as he opened the car door for you. He gave you a small smile. You took the front passenger seat. When you heard the sound of the trunk being closed, you realized that he must have been putting the gifts in there. You saw him through the snow-covered window. His hair was messy, and his sweater was slightly damp from the snow. His pink cheeks totally stole your heart. He looked like a little child after playing in the snow for several hours

"I'm Y/n," you spoke up as he appeared next to you. He clicked the heat button, smiling to himself. "Normal people usually say their name after my introduction."

"Who said I was normal?" you rolled your eyes before bursting out laughing again.

"You've got a beautiful name," he said, starting the car. "You can just call me Colby."

His eyes found yours and he smiled brightly. Your tiredness melted away instantly and you grinned back at him.

"Colby," you whispered to yourself.

"Hm?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road. After a moment you could feel the relaxing warmth.

"Uhm," you cleared your throat. "You've got a beautiful name, too."

The corners of your mouth turned upwards. Eventually you stopped having everything under control. It was inexplicable. Every word this boy said aroused some emotion in you. It was strange because you two had just met.

He wanted to know more about you, every single thing. What you like, what you love. A twisted smile formed on his face. As he continued to steal glances at a female, who remained clueless about his mind.

You glanced out the car window, trying to see anything but darkness. Thanks to the car lights, you could have noticed that the streets were empty, not a person in sight that late, not even the stray dog walker or person who decided to go for a late night walk or run. Cars passed by from time to time, but there weren't many of them.

"Not a single soul." Colby sighed, a dreamy smile on his face as he looked down on the road. You nodded, stifling a yawn.

"I bet most of them are washing windows now," you whined, making him chuckle. "Can you take me to the nearest gas station? It's not far from home."

You noticed a slight disappointment on his face, which he quickly masked.

"Yeah, sure."

For a moment there was silence, and you took the opportunity to organize your thoughts. You wondered if you should start a conversation about what happened at the store. You were sure Colby had been thinking about it the whole time, but he didn't want to be too insightful. Even if he asked about your past, you wouldn't know what to answer him. That your parents owed a debt to evil people and died for not paying it off?

You squeezed your eyes shut at the thought. You stared at the moon, trying to calm your thoughts. Then you took a moment to appreciate that wonderful, breathtaking boy next to you. You looked at him in some kind of admiration. He was so beautiful that you were about to cry. You were so close to burying your hand in his messy hair, but it took all of your strength to hold back. A smirk formed on his face as he noticed you staring at his facial features. Instead of laughing at you, he simply changed the topic.

"How do you spend Christmas?"

"Hm?" you muttered, your voice still laced with sleep.

Colby raised his eyebrows at you. "You got a Christmas tree?"

You looked up at him and were torn between telling him the truth or lying.

"I spend Christmas alone. I don't have, I don't have anyone around me with whom I could share this evening. Also, Christmas are overrated. "

"I can help," he said, the words dropping out before he could think about them. Ordinarily, he calculated his sentences, sometimes spending hours or even days thinking about how he would word something, whether it was an email to a friend or a hypothetical debate. But there was no time for that now, the dilemma thrust right into his face with no escape route.

"What?" You swallowed.

"I can help you," he said. "You shouldn't be alone in this time. If you let me, I'd love to invite you to dinner with my p—. " he stopped mid-sentence. You felt like crying. No one in your life has ever shown you as much love as this man. Okay, maybe except Josephine.

"You don't mean that," you said quietly.

"I do," he said, a little more confidence in his voice now. "Let me help. I'll do anything. You shouldn't be alone. You can't be alone. Can I help?"

A faint smile grew over your lips and you nodded, colour rising to your cheeks as your smile grew. "Thank you. But your family-"

"Oh, they will be delighted to meet you."

He seemed nice enough, you thought, and there were surely worse ways to spend the next couple of hours than accepting his helping hand: you could take your mind off the solitude and maybe even make a friend.

But nothing could help you forget your past.

To Be Continued.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Winter is coming

Hi guys!

This is the first time I try to write with two existing people, I hope it suits you. I don't really know what to think about it to be honest.

Also I apologize if there are weird things, I received a new lava lamp that bubbles for my birthday and it hypnotizes me x)

Do not hesitate if you have suggestions or requests, I will respond as soon as possible ♥

It was a request right here by the way.

TW : Mention of nudity

Enjoy!

P.S I'm sorry for the title

The icy Swedish cold seems to pierce the Barcelona players tonight, during the game between FC Barcelona and Rosengård. Apart from Ingrid Engen and her Norwegian origins, most Spanish players seem to suffer particularly from the cold. Despite the relatively easy win as the match ended with a 5-0 for Barcelona, Lucy can only notice Ona’s defeated and tense face.

After a few seconds of hesitation, the English decides, despite their vain attempts to keep their couple deprived, of joining her, the need to know what’s happening to Ona more important than her desires for discretion. Ona doesn’t turn around when Lucy calls her name, a bottle under her arm and applauding, her face turned towards the audience.

In a few strides, Lucy finally reaches her height, gently placing her hand on the neck of the young woman. This doesn’t prevent Ona from being a little startled before relaxing when she realizes that it’s only Lucy who is behind her.

"Is everything okay?" Lucy asks, immediately seeking to plunge her eyes into Ona’s.

"I'm fine" Ona simply replies, without even trying to smile.

This seems to quickly alert the English, perhaps a little too used to seeing Ona smiling and radiant at her side. Ona puts her hands on her face while Lucy speaks again.

"It doesn’t look like it"

Lucy’s tone is gentle and delicate, certifying that there is only concern behind it and that it isn’t for the push to confession in any way. The attention warms the heart of the Catalan, unlike her sore fingers.

"I’m fine, Luce. I’m just cold" begins Ona before turning in the direction of the English. "I just couldn’t wait for the game to end. The last ball I took from my head gave me the impression that I was given a huge slap on the face"

To explain better, Ona carries a gloved hand on the side of her face, making Lucy laugh softly.

"Nice assist anyway" compliments the brunette, making Ona smile. "I'm going to the locker room before losing all my fingers. You come with me?"

Ona nods and follows in Lucy’s footsteps, seizing her gourd to drink some water, regretting however that it’s not a good hot tea. Shivers run through all her body all the way to the dressing room and she willingly wraps herself in a blanket when she’s inside.

"I have no desire to undress" Ona admits from the bench on which she sits, huddled under her blanket.

"I can give you a hand if you want" Lucy offers with a grin.

Ona laughs softly and shakes her head, trying not to let her eyes slide too often towards Lucy who is changing. She is helped a little by their teammates who join little by little the locker room, Aitana seems even more disturbed by the cold than her. Unlike Ona, Aitana almost never left Spain to play, so she never had to face Manchester’s winter on a daily basis.

Lost in her thoughts, Ona realizes that Lucy is completely changed only when she comes to sit next to her on the bench. She passes her hand energetically into the back of the Catalan, seeking to create a friction to warm her.

"How about not showering now and taking a nice warm bath back at the hotel?" whispers Lucy to Ona while bowing an eyebrow.

"I really like this idea" Ona says with a smile.

Ona finally found the courage to get out of her blanket to change also, putting on with relief several layers of clothes to warm up as much as possible. In the bus taking them back to the hotel, Ona sits on a seat next to the window and Lucy doesn’t hesitate a single second before sitting next to her. They have no particular rules and sit very often next to other people, but this evening the older one have the impression that there is more than the cold which bothers Ona.

Ona gradually lets herself go against Lucy and when the bus finally starts once everyone has arrived, the head of the youngest is fully on Lucy’s shoulder. Even if Ona is tactile and her love language is physical contact, she isn’t the type to have such intimate gestures in public. But Lucy says nothing, promising herself to ask Ona questions once they are in their hotel room. And when Lucy gently puts her hand on Ona’s leg, she tightens a little more against her.

After a group meal in the hotel’s dining room, Ona quickly returns to their room but it’s only a few minutes after Lucy joins her. When the brunette arrives in their room, Ona is on the phone and speaks quickly in what Lucy recognizes to be Catalan. Understanding that her girlfriend is either on the phone with her mother or her older brother, Lucy gently closes the door behind her and approaches her girlfriend from behind.

"Say hello to them for me" Lucy whispers in Ona’s ear before kissing her neck.

The shivers that runs through Ona isn’t related to the cold this time, but to the pleasant sensation of Lucy’s lips on her skin. Smiling softly, Ona turns her head in Lucy’s direction with a small smile.

An exchange of eyes later while the interlocutor of Ona tells her something, Lucy smiled softly at Ona before kissing her nose and letting her go. Seeing Ona’s sulky face, Lucy smiled softly.

"I’ll prepare the bath" she whispers again.

Ona nods and sits on their bed to end her conversation, her eyed following Lucy as she sneaks into the bathroom. It’s not every time there’s a bathtub in their hotel rooms, but since there’s one it’s great to enjoy it, right?

When Ona joins Lucy a few minutes later in the bathroom, the bathtub is fully filled and Lucy is adding foam.

"Tadam!" Lucy happily sings, triggering the laughter of the Catalan. "Lady Batlle’s bath is ready"

"It’s Miss for now, thank you very much"

Lucy smirk for any answer, watching Ona get rid of the thick sweatshirt she had been wearing until now.

"Aren’t you coming with me?"

Ona’s question is posed with a touch of concern when she realizes that Lucy doesn’t make the slightest gesture to join her while she is on almost entirely ready to enter the bathtub.

"If you want, but I wanted to let you relax before I talk to you about something."

Lucy almost immediately regrets her choice of words when she sees Ona’s face painted with worry. The brunette frozes, with only one leg entered in the water while she was stepping over the bathtub.

"Nothing dramatic Oni, don’t worry" adds Lucy, smiling affectionately to reassure her.

It only seems to work half way, since even if she ends up nodding and sitting in the hot water, Ona’s gaze is always anxious. Deciding to join her instead of mentally slapping herself, Lucy gets rid of her clothes, leaving them on the pile of clothes already formed by those of Ona.

Settling behind Ona, Lucy sighs of relief as she feels her muscles relax in the hot water. Even if she seemed less affected by the cold than Ona, this didn’t prevent that it was probably not her favorite conditions to play a football match.

"Come here, Love"

Passing her arms on each side of Ona’s body, Lucy draws her all against her, smiling when she feels Ona pressing her face into the hollow of her neck. Sliding her fingers along her hips, the English girl thinks about the best way to engage the conversation. The language difference between them was never a problem, Ona speaks really good English despite her accent that Lucy simply finds adorable. And Lucy understands Spanish perfectly well and also does well in this language by spending time with their Spanish teammates.

"What did you want to talk about?" asks Ona, interrupting Lucy’s thoughts.

"You"

The answer seems to surprise the Catalan who takes off her face to be able to better observe her girlfriend.

"Me?"

"Yes, I think you looked trouble by something. As if you were thinking of something, not really here you know? I know you told me it was the cold, but I feel like there’s something else"

Ona briefly bites her lip before answering, choosing the words she will use to not lie to Lucy without worrying her too much.

"I’m a little tired, that’s all" Ona replies, continuing to see Lucy’s unconvinced gaze. "I’ve been playing a lot lately between the national team and Barca. And even though I love it and wouldn’t do anything else, tonight was really complicated for me. I was exhausted at the end of the game."

"Why didn’t you ask for a replacement?"

Lucy furrowed her eyebrows when Ona shrug, turning her head to look ahead. Her back leaning against Lucy’s front.

"I won’t let the team down"

Knowing Ona’s determined and stubborn character, Lucy can only imagine perfectly the reasons that pushed Ona to finish the match as planned in Jona’s head. And, knowing also that it’s useless to discuss with the Spanish for the moment, Lucy decides instead to change the subject. For the moment. Or rather try to relax Ona as much as possible. Stepping back a few centimeters, Lucy put her hands in the back of the brunette, drawing her tattoos with her fingertips before starting to massage her back. She presses her fingers along the shoulder blades and the neck of Ona, taking the time for each of the muscles of the Spaniard.

"Madre mia" moans Ona, making Lucy smile.

"Are you moaning already?" jokes Lucy maliciously.

It also amuses the youngest, who gives her a little playful slap on the leg. But apart from that, she remains peacefully motionless, too relieved by the attentions that Lucy brings her.

"You are so tense" the English mumbles feeling the muscle knots everywhere in her back.

Ona humms simply for any answer, eyes closed and as transported elsewhere by the benefits of this massage. She could fall asleep on the spot. But her smile was reborn on her lips when she felt Lucy’s lips again on her neck and in her neck.

"Is that part of the massage?"

"Only for you"

"Because you massage a lot of other people?" Ona informs herself, an innocent look on her face.

"No" laughs Lucy. "On the other hand if someone other than me does it to you, you have to inform me because I need to kill him"

Ona laughs softly and opens her eyes, tightening a little more against her girlfriend’s body, tilting her head back to look at her.

"I’ll think about it the next time I go to the physios at the training center"

Even if the sentence is said in the tone of the joke, Ona can’t help but feel a heat wave in the hollow of her belly by noticing the upset air that emerges for a few moments on Lucy’s face. The idea that she may be jealous for her will never cease to amaze her.

"Bésame, por favor" murmurs Ona.

Obviously, Lucy oblige and quickly breaks the few inches existing between their lips. Soft and tender at first, the kiss deepens when Ona raises her hand to place it on Lucy’s cheek and keep it longer against her.

A few minutes later, Ona had turn around in Lucy’s arms to sit on her lap, causing them both to lose their balance when Lucy slips into the tub and finds herself lying on her back.

When their laughter ends up interrupting, their glances plunge into each other. One arm holding her firmly against her, Lucy gently pushes back a long strand of brown hair behind Ona’s shoulder.

"You may decide not to take care of yourself, but count on me to make sure you do, Ona. And you can also count on me to take care of you. And you can talk to me if you need to, you don’t have to do all by yourself. I’m here for you that’s what a relationship is about to. Let me be there for you."

What’s the answer to that? Ona, who is still struggling to realize that her celebrity crush is sincerely and deeply infatuated with her, finds herself suddenly without knowing what to say. But, luckily, Lucy to find all the words she can’t pronounce in her beautiful chocolate eyes.

"I’m so in love with you"

Ona’s confession, pronounced no higher than a murmur is however perfectly understandable in the tranquility of the bathroom. Only the lapping of the water is audible, adding to the serenity of the moment.

"I’m in love with you too" whispers Lucy in return, smiling, before stretching her neck a few centimeters to capture once again Ona’s lips with hers.

[2-dsimp]

can u write something for yandere armin? like what if his darling actually liked him back but then ppl are gossiping about him visiting Annie and still having feelings for her? this hurts darling bc she never forgave Anine and maybe her sibling is dead bc of the female titan so she just kinda stops talking to armin???

@laughing-with-god these were catching cobwebs in my drafts but it’s finally here (^◇^;)

————/———-/——————————-/—————-

Cw: Unhinged Armin! Fem! Reader, suicidal mentions, manipulative tendencies, yandere tendencies, obsessive behavior, mutual pinning

————/———-/——————————-/—————-

Is she ignoring me?

Armin questioned.

Watching you longingly from afar underneath the bangs of his long blonde hair, he began to overthink about what went wrong between the two of you. The rumors that kept circulating his mind about how you also had feelings for him. Was driving him insane with all the conflicting emotions in his weak heart.

Doesn’t she feel the same way? But if that’s true then why…?

If the rumors are true then why’re you avoiding him? The day before the both of you were in the library leisurely reading books sitting next to each other as if you were connected by the red strings of faith. The atmosphere was so blissful a lovely distraction from the chaos in a world that seems so hopeless.

But now he’s witnessing you ignoring his existence entirely almost as if he didn’t exist in your heart to being in with. And that made him anxious with insecurities running rampant until it turned into twisted delusions.

Has she found another?

No, that can’t be! What do I do? I can’t let her go. I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her—

“Hey did yall hear about what’s happening between Armin and Annie?”

A distant voice snapped him out of his obsessive train of thoughts, and he automatically tuned into the conversation of gossip stemming from a group of scouts.

“Duh everyone knows that those two will hook up eventually, but my heart goes out to that girl who had a crush on him.”

Another voice chimed in with a slight huff of pity going out to you.

“Yeah, hasn’t Armin always had the hots for that Titan girl? I heard that he went to see her last night at the stables”

Armin went rigid at the mere mention that he would choose that abomination you utterly despised over you. Calming himself he couldn’t help but let out a tiny sigh of relief realizing that it was not as bad as he originally thought. Although, he did have an encounter with her, trust me when I say that it was far from that of a friendly front.

Now that he had a clear vision of the situation, he knew exactly what he needed to do to mend the bridge between him and his darling.

Him being all nice to Annie was just a facade to get her guard to the lowest crumbling point. The woman was already running on a half life carrying the guilt of her past warrior self. He pretended to be empathetic towards her, feeding the flames of her innermost desire to end it all by stating that she had suffered long enough by the hands of fate. And that as a former ally he’d assist in making sure she had a nice send off straight to hell.

And eventhough He knew it was wrong of him to enjoy the simpering thought of how jealous you were at the mere inkling idea that he was interested in Annie. He couldn’t help the excitement drumming along in his heart at how that was a sign of your apparent love towards him. A telltale sign of how you wanted him.

He nearly got weak in the knees at the vision of you and him getting together as a loving couple. Especially since he knew that his goal was within reach, all he had to do was set the plan in motion. In few days time you’ll soon see how much he truly loves you, and how much he’d be willing to be your faithful companion.

And what better way to show it, by giving you the chance to get revenge on the traitor you loathed with all your being.

With that in mind Armin quickly headed towards your quarters, his steps becoming upbeat with a small hopeful smile on his face while he daydreamed about you rewarding his efforts with a kiss.

[vaguely-concerned]

I wanted to write out a more condensed version of the Garashir thoughts I accumulated through my read of a stitch in time, because it really is driving me slightly nuts. so here we go!

I think my basic takeaway is something like: if you look at what's actually on the page as dialogue and not just the story garak tells himself internally of what has happened between them (which is basically 'I've fucked up somehow and I don't know how or why but something's broken here and I messed it up; I have nothing left of interest to offer him', pretty clearly going over it in his head like he would trying to figure out what he did wrong when tain locked him in a closet as a child), you kind of get the feeling that julian doesn't know what to do with the way garak flinches away from him whenever he tries to get closer or offer help. (which like. not for nothing but that's actually the dynamic between garak and mila too, but with garak's role switched to the mostly-resigned seeker of contact rather than the flincher-away. we all know garak’s daddy issues but I think the mommy issues at work are doing some gulf stream shit under the surface as well lol.) so julian starts hesitating in seeking out contact in the first place, nevermind asking him for anything more when garak's also clearly falling apart mentally and seems unreachable in the first place. and Julian also doesn't want to mess this up and make something already fraught and painful even worse; he still wants to help! he always wants to help, that’s just who he is, he keeps trying through the whole book. and when garak mostly-gently but reflexively and firmly rebuffs him each time he tries… after a while it seems like he doesn't think he's welcome, or that he's imposing and garak doesn't really want him there — that he's just humoring him or something when he does let him in, just like garak was so afraid palandine was doing with him in the beginning. it’s only in the final scene between them that garak invites him in and asks for help on his own initiative. 

“I’m pleased you stopped by”/”No, you’re not,” he said quietly. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’. “You see, this is so difficult, Garak. I know what a private person you are, and how you detest people meddling in your affairs….”. “Your holosuite program. The one that allows me to visit the traumas of my childhood.”/“I hesitate to suggest this, remembering how you reacted the last time … but, yes, I feel it could make a difference,” the Doctor gamely admitted. (Julian I love you so much. Eternal optimist hours. Keep it up it’s going to get you spectacularly laid if you just get on that shuttle to Cardassia.) All these moments do not read to me as someone who has no interest in continuing or deepening this relationship (maybe the opposite, in fact), it gives me more the sense of someone who feels he keeps putting his foot in his mouth and making the damage worse no matter what he tries, and not knowing what else to do but to back off to save them both more pain. (he also needs help and support, but he’s not going to go ask it of someone who’s clearly in no position to give it (on account of visibly falling apart even more than usual). And also because the good doctor is such a hypocrite lol ‘of course you’re worth asking for and receiving help!! I’m just fine tho don’t worry about me *light is slowly dying in his eyes behind the smile as the seasons go on*’. Stiff upper lip to the point of psychological breakdown-off (cross-cultural, competitive))  

and the most painful thing to me is that after their disastrous tea party in garak’s shop, at the very least, garak clearly realizes he's hurting julian by keeping him out (But as to the question of which group suffers the most…), and he desperately wants to stop hurting him but he just doesn't know how!!! he's never learned how to close the distance! he's been locked completely into himself by the way tain shaped him and doesn't know how to get out of the closet so to speak yet! ('...am I not. *supposed* to pretend to be functional and have no needs. is that not like. my entire job interpersonally. I am confused.') it’s something Tolan already observes in him and grieves over when he comes home from Bamarren, and the years since have uh not helped with that particular problem lol. for all he longs for it, intimacy is like a hot stove to him; he can’t help but reach out, and he can’t help but flinch away when he actually comes into contact with it. almost the worst part is that I think Julian can tell some of that too and sort of understands it/doesn't hold it against him, and it just makes it even sadder, somehow. they both move so carefully around each other through this, because even in the middle of all that they really do try to be kind to each other the best they know how and it fucks me up so bad. which makes it even crazier and more touching that all of asit is basically garak processing his shit until he can get to the last line honestly — 'You're always welcome, Doctor'. he pulled a full lizardly mr darcy in the post-apocalypse here, he got around to starting to fix himself at least partly to be in a place where he could be able to meet Julian in the ways he needs if he wants that from him. And that drives me utterly insane thanks for asking!!! WILD BOOK COMPLETELY UNHINGED 300+ PAGE DECLARATION OF LOVE AND INTIMACY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

(this post started life as a tag ramble under @spocks-kaathyra‘s wonderful post about Julian’s side of it over here, but — as I’m sure you'll be astonished to learn at this point — I found I somehow had even more things to say, my neurons boileth over perpetually and it seems I just have to live with that)

[in1-nutshell]

IM GETTING EVERY IDEA I GOT OUT WHILE REQUESTS ARE OPEN IM SORRY

also I'm sorry i keep bringing up chaotic teen Buddy and Megatron, but i love seeing this fucker suffer through forced adoption.

I'm still kinda trucking through the comics, but i know that at some point Megatron is essentially yeeted into a whole ass different dimension and spent 300 years there (i could be totally wrong, if so ignore.) long story short, i have been stuck on the idea of Megatron getting stuck there for 300 years, mourning his funny little human child after 80 years, cause he figures even if he does get back home, they wont still be there.

Luckily for everyone involved, that 300 years was just a few months for the lost light. unluckily for everyone.

Buddy - "My father is gone, therefore I am no longer responsible for the consequences of my actions."

Hello again! Don't feel bad for asking/ requesting. Requests are fun to do for me and I can write almost anything someone asks, almost. Still, ask if you want something written. It is time for the return of Fearless Buddy!

Hope you enjoy!

Fearless Buddy reaction to Megatron coming back from the other dimension

SFW, platonic, familial, bit of angst here and there, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

Buddy had conveniently slept when Megatron had left. Don't blame them, they had been running off of little to no sleep for weeks and their body finally had enough.

Rodimus had to break the news for Buddy.

"What do you mean Megatron is 'gone'?!"--Buddy

"He left, he just up and escaped! But don't worry we'll get him back on board in no time."--Rodimus

"He... He really just left?"--Buddy

"I'm afraid so."--Rodimus

"Well, you know what? Who needs him anyways! The big sorry pile of scrap can go rust in space for all I care!"--Buddy

"Buddy--"--Rodimus

"Who needs him! Thanks for letting me know Roddy, really. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some important things to go over with Whirl."--Buddy

"What important things? What could be more important than this right now?"--Rodimus

"We are going to put a bumper sticker on Minimus saying 'Kachinga'!"--Buddy

"... Carry on!"--Rodimus

Rodimus really wishes now that he had stopped Buddy from making it to Whirl's. The ship had become the two's playground for pranks and sillies.

No one was spared from their wrath.

Many bots on board got mad at the two. But it was the bots closest to Buddy to realize something was deeply troubling them.

Their enthusiasm seemed forced most of the time. Their laughter almost seemed... Robotic almost. And their eyes... they looked so hollow and lacked the usual twinkle they had before.

Whirl appointed himself Buddy's guardian in the meantime. There wasn't much argument there as being Buddy's Amica, it was probably for the best.

Whirl lost count of the amount of times he caught Buddy going into Megatron's habsuite and crying over some of his poems. He wants to hurt Megatron so badly for the pain he inflicted on Buddy. They became Rung's most frequently seen patient after talking with Whirl.

"You really think this is going to help?"--Buddy

"I'm sure of it! If Eyebrows here can stand me, then you'll be like a walk in the park!"--Whirl

"... Thanks Whirl. I mean it, you're the best Amica a friend could ask for."--Buddy

"Hey now, don't get soft on me yet. That's Rung's job. Now get in there and punch those feelings in the face!"--Whirl

The day when Megatron comes back after everything is settled Whirl is one of the first in line to deck him across the face.

"You sorry excuse of a tyrant!--"--Whirl

"I know you're upset Whirl... Buddy passing must not have been easy..."--Megatron

"Passing? What are you talking about?"--Whirl

"Surely they have already passed it's been more than 80 years."--Megatron

"Megs, it's been a couple months since your little disappearing act."--Rodimus

"...Is Buddy alive?"--Megatron

"Of course they are! Why--Hey!"--Whirl

Megatron sprinting pass him and to Buddy's habsuite.

Megatron had never sprinted as fast as he did at that moment. For the past 200 or so years he had been in a constant state of mourning. He thought he had lost Buddy forever. The biggest regret he had was not at least telling them good bye.

Now here he was... He almost backed out of knocking on the door, but he did it. The doors opened revealing Buddy in all of their morning glory.

"... Buddy?"--Megatron

"Ah man it's one of those dreams again. Listen fake Megs, I'm not in the mood right now. So if you'll just come back next week that'll be great."--Buddy

Megatron finally snapped out of his dazed and scooped up Buddy into his servos and held them close to his spark.

It took Buddy a solid second to realize this wasn't some fever dream.

"Megs?"--Buddy

"I'm here now. I'm here."--Megatron

"...How... How dare you! YOU LEFT ME HERE ALONE! YOU DON'T JUST CALL SOMEONE THEIR KID THEN LEAVE THEM HIGH AND DRY! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE ME?!? OR AT LEAST SAY GOOD BYE!? TELL ME! TELL ME WHY?!? DAD WHY DID... why did you leave me...*--Buddy

"...I am so sorry..."--Megatron

"...you better be... I will never leave your side again... You're worse than a toddler getting lost at a Walmart..."--Buddy

It wasn't an easy transition at first. Buddy had their friends always within arms length from Megatron. Buddy themselves put up some walls to avoid getting hurt again.

The two eventually decided to seek counseling to try and mend their relationship. Thank goodness that happened.

Now Megatron was sitting in his habsuite with Buddy telling him all the latest news on the ship while reviewing their latest poems.

These were the little things he missed most and was glad he had gotten a chance to get them back.

[sdjs31]

Comfort in healing

Warnings: mentions of self harm, acts of self harm, relapsing, depression, just depressing and triggering stuff but with fluff at the end

A/N, so I recently went through a break up and suffered with it hard. And badly too. Writing this seemed to help me move past my block but also help mend a piece of me inside. I understand that this is triggering and very sensitive, but there are people who go through this, myself included.

You and Melissa broke up. It happened so quickly and suddenly, you don’t remember the conversation and why. Now you’re sitting in the bathroom and a razor blade in your trembling hands. God you wish Melissa were here. But you can’t call her.

You and Melissa dated for two years. In those two years you’ve been in the happiest and healthiest relationship you’ve had in a while. You still had ups and downs like any other relationship but suddenly it got too much and you two broke up. Now you find yourself relapsing because of it. Five years down the drain of being clean.

Sighing you lean your head back against your bathroom cabinet feeling the pain radiating through your body, but yet you feel free and relaxed. Your phone suddenly buzzes. A text from Melissa

“Y/N, can we talk?” You don’t answer, another text “Please Y/N” again you don’t answer. After a few minutes you just close your eyes and take a deep breath. Your phone buzzes again but with a call. It’s Melissa. You don’t answer, she rings a second time and you just stare at her caller ID, a photo of you two on your one year anniversary. Everything inside you shatters again and you bring the blade to your skin. Wincing you do what makes you feel better but also worse. Your phone buzzes more and finally you turn off your phone completely. Slowly getting up from the floor with your knees achy you clean yourself up and head back into your room and lay down. Staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before eventually dozing off. You wake up to a knock and you just roll back over and try to go back to sleep. Apparently you dozed off and are being shaken awake by someone. You immediately wake up and see who it is. Melissa, staring at you, with a worried expression on her face and her face slightly paler than usual.

“Issa?”

“Y/n? What happened?

“Huh?”

“Hey, focus on me. What happened? Why is your pants red and so are your sheets?”

“Huh?” Still groggy you aren’t following her words “what do you mean”

“I asked you, why are you bleeding? Your sheets and pants are stained red.”

This jolts you more awake. “What? I thought-“ you thought you cleaned up well and patched up yourself well enough to prevent bleeding like this. You slowly get up realize the bandages came off. You didn’t have actually bandages, just bandage tape.

“Oh- …it’s nothing.”

Melissa still looks confused and concerned “you don’t have to tell me, but why. I know that’s not your period. What did you do?”

You just look at her, mouth opening and closing, not finding words. She sees you struggling and she slowly walks over to you. “Y/n, tell me, please. Why are you bleeding?”

You stiffen “I uh- I- Mel-“ you start to sniffle and shake. You eventually collapse onto the bed. “I’m sorry Mel, I’m so sorry. I-, I just, god I’m an idiot” at this point your crying and you out your face in your hands, “I’m so sorry” you whisper

She bends down, her hands hold yours “sweetheart, it’s not your fault. I should be sorry. I let my thoughts and insecurities get the best of me. I didn’t give you an explanation. I’m the one who bursted out on you, took it out on you. I am so sorry y/n. Sorry won’t cut it, but know that I am. Youse deserve better than me, youse need someone who can give you what it is you want. Marriage, a family, fun, everything.”

You just look at her and tears run down your face. “Mel, I don’t need everything. I just wanted you, and only you. I know you don’t want to get married again, I’m fine with that. Family, having a family, it’s not a priority in my life. I want to enjoy life, to enjoy it with you. You don’t have to be sorry, because I forgive you. I am not ashamed of you, or embarrassed of you. I love you Melissa. I wish you’d understand that you give me all that I want.”

She looks at you, her eyes teary and lip quivering. “No one had said that to me before. I really am sorry. For doing this to you, for causing this to you.” She looks at your red stained pajama pants. “I am the cause of this, I can’t forgive myself for that. You shouldn’t have to do that because of me- I am the -“ before she could finish you kiss her lips softly and pull away “hey, you aren’t. It’s my thoughts that got me and harmed me. I did this myself willingly. And I’m sorry you even have to know I did this again let alone see it. I am sorry for that. You, had every right to feel what you felt, what you think. I probably would too. But Mel, you are enough, you give me enough. You make me happy and loved, I feel home with you.” You take her hands in yours and rub her rings with your thumbs. “If you want me still, I want you still.”

She chuckles softly. “I want you, I just can’t forgive myself for letting you do this.”

“Hey, it’s okay, they’ll heal, I’ll be okay. I was, I wasn’t thinking, okay? My mind was in a blur and I was hurt. It is not your fault, okay, i promise”

“Okay, but I won’t let this go, it hurts seeing you in this state.”

“It’s okay, it will be okay Mel” you kiss her rings and hold her hand kissing her hand. She smiles and gets up with a little grunt of pain from being bent down. “Let’s get you cleaned up okay? Let me help you get cleaned up.” You pause at this, “I don’t want you to see them. I don’t want you to have the image of my harm in your head.” She opens her mouth but the closes it and just nods. She gets to work to take your sheets off your bed and throw them into the wash while you go to the bathroom and clean up your mess. If stings but that’s what you are paying for, but you know now, that if you two just communicate and talk things out, it will be okay.

You come out of the bathroom patched up and in clean clothes, she looks up as she puts your last pillow back. “You okay?” She asks. You just nod, “more okay that you’re here.” You go to your closet and grab her spare pajama pants and her favorite shirt of yours. “Stay the night Mel?” She smiles “of course” she goes to the bathroom and washes her face and brushes her teeth changing into the pajamas. She walks out and sees you in bed already. She slides into bed and holds you close to her “I’m still sorry. I’ll be spending a lot of time making it up to you and making sure that you are okay and just, I’m so sorry.” You lean up to look at her “hey, I’m past that Issa, it’s okay, we are okay now. Yeah? It will be hard to get over this, especially what I did to myself but I promise that you and I will be okay.” She nods and kisses your forehead and holds you closer if even possible. “Sleep yeah?” You say. She nods “yeah, we can spend all tomorrow in bed if you want.” You smile at this, “of course, anything to make up for lost time.” She herself smiles and says “I love you y/n. I always will, no matter what.” “I love you too Mel, through it all”

[gancegancerevo]

Zwillingstürme im Herbst Thoughts

ZT to me, is a story of endings. Not just the factual endings of eras, Arts, and songs. But also the great question of "What happens after the end?"

Each major character faces an ending in this story. Leithanien faces the end of both the Kaiserinnen and the truest finale of the Witch King. The Liches end their stay in the country. Viviana comes to terms with her Leithanien heritage, Ebenholz frees himself from all of his demons, and Arturia, well, we'll get to Arturia.

One of the most notable things is how this story treats hope and the indomitable human spirit. Unlike other stories, it does not praise humanity and treat them as some unstoppable limitless force by virtue of their emotions. Instead, it takes a very nuanced approach that's informed by how powerless these characters can actually get. Sure they can charge forward towards their goals but they'll still die and they'll still be faced with darkness and regrets. Even still, we should embrace our emotions and the turmoil they bring.

The Genesis Horn and Kagenreich are such interesting ideas but it can feel weird that much of the climax is emotional conflicts made manifest. Viviana's is the most obvious. The constant doors to possible new lives culminating in her real one. She comes to let go of the past and stand for herself which is nice. It's also nice that it was Margaret's light that helped her fight back the darkness. An exquisite call-back to the Radiant Knight.

Ebenholz helped to paint a very unique lesson in my opinion. That suffering doesn't NEED meaning. Even after promising Kreide that he'd live and fight fate, he's still plagued by headaches and Witch King Remnants. The revelation that whatever was in his head, the Voice of Mundane, was just a mundane voice upends many of the things we've (us and Ebenholz) assumed about his life. That his suffering was tied to the Witch King and that his conflict would culminate in a big fight against the man whose shadow terrorized him. Instead they have a heart to heart and the Witch King challenges him to look back on his life and realize that "the night itself is meaningless." It is totally fine to have a terrible thing just be a terrible thing and moving on doesn't have to involve a great trials to overcome, sometimes your enemies kill themselves and you just walk away.

Arturia is the most interesting but I'm afraid I can't do her full arc justice. In contrast to his accommodating spin with Ebenholz, the Witch King challenges Arturia at every turn, questioning her motive and why she wants what she does. It comes to a head when he forcefully dives into her and sees that there is only one thing that stirred her own emotions. Everything else is a mirror of someone else. He ultimately gives her the answer she's looking for and the natural doubt that comes when the answer she found didn't meet her expectations. But her bouncing back as chaos descended was beautiful and I might reread this and Hortus just to really grasp her character.

Cora and Brandt, Hildegard and Lisellote (no idea how to, spell the Kaserinnen's surnames), Michel, Lessing, and the Liches. All sorts of stories come to a close as new beginnings emerge. And the most troublesome of them is definitely the makings of the newest source of conflict: the Disaster, the encroaching of chaos upon reality and the return of the supposed Creator.

It's quite likely that that may be the angle of the next major story arc, especially with the role Nearl's light played and the fact that Laterano is trying so hard to unite the nations.

This event was great and I recommend it. Not sure if I have any major notes or ideas to share but I really liked it.

One last thing: seems people are kinda wary of Lisellote, the Eternal Grace. I love it when the supposedly fluffier one has the greater potential of evil

[lidiasloca]

i saw your post and i had an idea! azriel x reader, az comes home from a long mission, he’s tired and he’s upset but won’t talk about it, just fluff as the reader comforts him and cuddles and stuff. If you don’t like it feel free to just ignore this! x

you comfort azriel after a mission

(azriel x reader)

fluff

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄☆

You can tell.

And not just because of the bond, but because of his eyes. They look almost lifeless. The hazel in them is replaced with a sad black you have grown to hate.

It is a reminder of how much your mate actually suffers in these missions, whether he ever admits it or not. 

“Az?”

He only answers you with, “Hm?” as he makes his way past you to the desk of your room. You know all too well how prone he is to closing in on himself. 

You get up from the bed and start walking behind him. “Wait,” you try a soft tone, not letting your worry get to him. “Azzie, please.”

He finally turns, allowing you a clear look at his tired face. It breaks your heart. 

You realize you’re silently staring, but not in time. “I know I look terrible, but there’s no need to grimace.”

Your heartbeat speeds up immediately. You - you hadn’t grimaced, that you were very sure of. But the thought of Azriel thinking you had makes you rapidly reply, “NO - I mean no, Azriel. I wasn’t grimacing. It’s just - you look very tired.” 

To no one's surprise, he stays silent. So you add, “I’m worried.”

Your mate sighs, as if in defeat. “It’s Devlon,” he eventually mutters. 

You try your best not to go to the male to strangle him yourself. Gods - the times Azriel came home exhausted because of some conflict involving him. You hate him.

Azriel regards you and says, a coy very little smile now on his face, “Stop that frowning.” He brings his index finger to smooth the creases in your forehead, as if to make his instructions clearer.

You know better than to keep asking him more. You know how little words Azriel like using, especially about these things. But you make it a point to talk about this when he’s in a better mood. 

You return his little smile, happy that he seems lighter. 

After a comfortable silence, just staring at each other, he says, “sorry for earlier; you shouldn’t be the one having to cope with my grumpy ass.”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “Don’t be sorry. I understand, and - I am your mate,” you reply while taking his hand in yours and pulling him.

He opens his mouth to ask when you start leading him, but his answer soon comes, just as you gesture him to the bed. 

“You need to rest,” you command, or try to sound like so.

It seems to work; Azriel climbs into the bed slowly, then whispers, “Yes, my lady.” 

You can’t help your giggle before you follow him onto the bed. “Shut up, mate.”

He turns his eyes to yours, piercing even in the dim light. You know damn well the effect that word has on him. You smile innocently.

“Say it again,” he orders, though there’s amusement in his eyes when he adds, “If you dare.”

“No. Goodnight…” He raises an eyebrow, watching you intently. But you won’t let him win, so you pull the blankets over you, making it obvious that you’re going to sleep. 

You only have time to yelp before he pulls you out of the blankets and cages you with both his wings and his arms. “Say it.”

“No - let me go!” you laugh hysterically as he starts pinching the flesh on your ribs. “Az! S-stop that.”

“Say it, then.”

“Mate! My mate!”

He at last lets go of you, and you can finally draw breath.

“And you’re mine,” he whispers in your ear.

“Well, you almost suffocate your mate, you know that?”

“Dramatic.” You smack him with a pillow. “Ouch.”

“Dramatic,” you reply, still out of breath, and quite exhausted after trying to win Azriel in strength. “Now, I need rest.”

He smiles lovingly and says, “Goodnight then, mate.”

You observe him before launching yourself on him, more comfortable than anywhere else. “Goodnight,” you tell him. “Azzie?”

“Yes?”

“Will you tell me tomorrow?” You wrap your arms around him as you can. “About what happened today?” You try not to name Devlon, not now that he seems calm. 

He takes a moment before answering, “yes.” Precise and short, you think, but you‘re still glad he’s willing to open up to you about this knowing how hard it comes for him to do so.

“Thank you, mate” you whisper, which he answers by kissing the top of your head.

Just as you feel yourself drifting to slumber, you hear his voice, barely audible. 

“My mate.”

-Characters by Sarah J. Maas

I was soooo tempted to write the aaron warner “yes, love?” but found selfcontrol somewhere. btw, i'm super happy with how many requests you guys have sent, cause i want to write for acotar soooo bad. thanku <3.