#realized my family had accidentally left little me all alone right next to the ocean lol my mom was so worried.

[comingyourlugubriousness]

"I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this."

My (very late) submission for sweet shroud summer hosted by @cloudcountry!

I really wanted to get this done sooner, but I got sick. So I've been playing catch up for fan events! I wanted to do something that I did during the summer when I was young. Catching fireflies and other bugs was underrated as a kid. And "firefly" is one of the cheesy nicknames Yume has for Idia.

I imagine on the Isle of Lament there really aren't a lot of the mundane types of wildlife; so I'd like to hc that Idia and younger Ortho didn't think fireflies were real and you only saw them in shows and anime.

(Present day Ortho has known their real but didn't want to embarrass his bro) Idk I think it could be very cute and and an awe moment for Idia to discover their real. Maybe that's a lil silly. ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝

Also respectfully! All the wonderful submissions have just Idia so I felt like Ortho was getting left out so I really wanted to include him! ^o^

[adelheidvonschicksal]

Gosh, the Hawks x intern! Reader sure made me tear up :(

Like imagine him regretting not being there for her and his baby girl from the start and trying to make up for it now 😭😭💖

I was going to imagine this, but I couldn't because I ended up writing 3000 words. 😭 I just love fictional babies so much and want them to be happy, okay? I left it open-ended, so I wouldn't betray the "kick his ass" gang. I'm a weak woman 🥺 I still don't know much about him other than what Wikipedia and memes tell me but here we go!

Part One | Part Two

Hawks doesn’t think you’ll ever let him in, not that he could blame you. Every time you see him, your expression hardens, pretty eyes narrow into a glare, nostrils flare, breathing heavy. His only bright light during your last exchange is that you wait three seconds before slamming the door in his face rather than the usual zero.

Oh, he’s definitely softening you up. Not.

It’s been a month now that he’s been at this, and he is starting to wonder if this entire thing is worth the headache. All he’s accomplished so far is bothering you with his requests to talk. Then, he remembers the little angel that you have with you and thinks it’s worth the headache.

At first, he had ignored your previous exchange that day at the park and the nagging feeling in the corner of his mind upon seeing the two of you. Until that same feeling started to weigh on his heart. He quickly realizes what those feelings were. Guilt and regret at not taking another path with the high schooler he so carelessly took advantage of and impregnated.

If he had, he could be annoying Endeavor about his cute little wife right about now.

Hawks feels a bit like Icarus flying too close to the sun and now sinking in a turbulent ocean of his own making. Instead of drowning, the world decides to throw him a lifeline as the receptionist patches a call through to him.

His heart jumps when he hears you on the other side, resistant but succumbed in your plea, “I need your help.”

The very next day you arrive at the agency, a small hand latched in your own as you stand in the middle of his office. You didn’t want to be here. The thought of being in the same place where your daughter was conceived with the same man who left you makes you antsy. You can’t believe you actually let Fumikage talk you into this.

You remember that phone conversation.

Your daughter’s quirk had been coming in full force, so fast you didn’t know how to handle it. You hoped that Tokoyami would have been able to help her control it since he trained with the very person she received her quirk from much longer than you had and that he was part avian himself.

“Please, Fumi. It’s getting worse,” you begged over the phone. “She accidentally hurt a few of the kids at school. No. No. They’re fine, some cuts and a little shook up, but fine. They won’t let her back in until she gets it under control though, so please.”

“I told you there’s not much else I can do. The best solution would be to go to the person with the same quirk.”

He’s right. He’s absolutely right, but you don’t want to rely on someone like that man especially now. What if he ended up hurting her?

“I don’t want to do that.”

“I know you don’t, but he’s been trying to contact you, right? So I'm sure he'd do it if you asked.”

“Yeah…” You growled. “I swear if he makes one smart-ass remark, I might kill him in front of her.”

“Remember it’s not for you. Although, I don’t think you could kill him even if you tried.”

“If we combined our strength…”

“No,” Tokoyami immediately shot down.

You sighed. “I’m only joking. Do you have the number to the agency still?”

Now you’re here, watching the very man who abandoned you kneel down to your daughter’s eye level. Hawks couldn’t believe he’s actually seeing her. It’s a bit exciting to see how much bigger she’s gotten in such a short time with big fat wings at her back holding way more feathers than she can probably deal with.

“So, this is the special girl,” he says. She shies away from him, hiding behind your leg for protection. “Come on out, Baby Bird, you don’t have to be scared of me.”

Slowly, she peeks from behind you, fingers still clutched in your pants leg, and Hawks smiles.

“There you are. Did your mommy tell you who I am?”

“You’re her and uncle Toko’s old teacher, and you’re going to help me control my quirk.”

“That’s right. You just turned five, right? That’s when a lot of quirks can get kind of hectic.”

“Yeah. I had a birthday party with Elsa last month.”

Hawks’ smile falters for a second as he thinks he doesn’t know exactly what day her birthday is. At least now he knows the month. Quickly, he’s back to normal to keep an air of happiness in the situation. “You know I know a lady that looks a bit like Elsa. She has ice powers like her too,” Hawks says, having grown a little closer to the number one hero's family as he tried to figure out what to do about his own family situation.

When her eyes widen, Hawks knows he has her hook, line, and sinker. She throws her initial shyness to the wind in exchange for excitement. “She does? Can I meet her?”

“I’m sure we could make that happen. If not, her son has an ice quirk, too. I’m sure he’d show you.”

The young girl smiles at him, but Hawks notices her vision drifting to something else. Cautiously, her tiny hand stretches out to him, making him nervous as to what she’s doing, before chubby fingers clutch around the edge of his wing, squeezing into his feathers. “They’re pretty,” she mumbles.

“Want one?” he asks, and she nods.

“This is my birthday present for you, don’t lose it,” he says, offering her a single long feather from the back of his wings. She clutches it to her chest tightly, a happy smile plastered on her face.

Then, you interrupt.

“Baby, mama has to run some errands, but she’ll come right back to pick you up when the clock says twelve. You remember how that looks like, right?”

“It’s a 1 and a 2,” she says, bringing up her hands to show you.

Hawks decides to walk you out as your daughter sits in his office chair, twirling around his feather in her hand. He isn’t sure what to say to you now that he has you near him. Should he thank you for bringing her? Or would that only serve to piss you off since it’s not like you wanted to do this by choice?

“Hawks,” you say, bringing him out his thoughts. “There’s one more thing before I go.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t tell her,” you order. “Don’t you dare tell her.”

His chest squeezes at that but he can understand why you wouldn’t want her to know that information when the two of you aren’t even on speaking terms outside this issue. He didn’t want to do anything to make the situation worse either, so he brings his fingers to his mouth and zips his pinched thumb and index finger across his lips. “I’ll make sure mine and anyone else’s lips are sealed if they want to keep their job,” he calmly reassures you, always calm and carefree so you wouldn’t think that your rejection is successfully deterring him.

From then on, you drop your daughter off at his office twice a week to get a better handle on her powers. You didn’t stay long aside from that, but Hawks likes the small moments when all three of you are in the same room together.

The hero can be thankful that at least one of his girls likes him. His Baby Bird quickly attached herself to him, always pattering after his footsteps like a shadow, and always asking if he’d hold her hand, a smile forming whenever he engulfed her smaller one. He even keeps his promise to let her see Rei, or Elsa as Baby Bird so passionately refers to her, now that the woman is out of the hospital.

He thinks that if that family can recover from what happened then his shouldn’t be much different as long as he keeps trying to put in the effort and not step on your toes too much.

It isn’t long before Baby Bird begins to get a hang of her powers. At least enough that she wouldn’t be hurting anyone at school. Hawks had hoped you would still allow him to train her past that point though, but you quickly told him that she wouldn’t be returning to the agency when she reached that point.

He was sad to hear it of course, but he didn’t want to cause what little progress he made to be broken even if he really wanted to see her fly at least a few inches before she left. She’s been getting into the habit of jumping instead of walking to practice like he used to do. Although, she resembles more of a bouncy frog than a bird, to be honest.

He watches, amused, as she bounces along next to him in the hallway.

“You’ve gotten good at that,” he compliments, drawing her attention upwards.

“I’ve been practicing lots at home, but I’m not that good yet. Will you teach me how to fly like you do tomorrow?” she asks.

“No, Baby Bird. Didn’t your mommy tell you that we’re done with training after today?”

She hangs her head down, her bouncing stopping as she drags her feet. “…Yes,” she answers, letting his arm go lax as she releases his hand. Hawks pauses, watching as she draws her hands to her waist and anxiously bunches and twists the bottom of her shirt, and Hawks throat goes dry as she asks with glossy eyes, “Daddy, why doesn’t mommy like you?”

He’s completely silent, wondering exactly when she figured it out or if someone in the office had told her, let alone told her the fact that you didn’t like him. Well, he guesses it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. “How do you know to call me that?"

“Yesterday, my teacher told us that we inhe-inhe-inherent our quirk from our parents. I remember you said Elsa and her son had the same quirk, and you have big wings like mine and can make your feathers move.”

Hawks smiles. She’s a sharp one to piece it together in a day. “Your teacher is right. I bet you’ve never seen anyone else that looks quite like us.”

“No,” she answers, sniffling. “I don’t want to go home. I want to stay and play with you. Mommy is so mean to you. I hate her!”

Hawks cups her chin in his hand, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Look at me. Don’t talk about your mommy like that. It’s my fault she always gets upset when I’m around. I was mean and bullied her a lot, so if you’re mad, be mad at me. I’m the reason we can’t play together more.”

She sniffs again but it isn’t enough to stop the globs of tears running down her cheeks. “When we saw you at the park, mommy started crying when we went home. I didn’t know why she did.”

Hawks knows why. The reason you’re always so angry at him is because of the hurt you still hold inside for what he did to you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have cried. The opposite of love is indifference as they say, and he knows it’s true because he had been indifferent to the pain he caused ever since the day you came to him with weepy eyes and shaking arms as you told him you were pregnant. You had been scared, and he told you to deal with it.

Hawks scowls. He’s starting to feel sick.

"If you make someone cry, you should say sorry."

Hawks smiles. “I know, baby. I'll apologize to your mama, and I’m going to try my best to make it up to her, and you, too. I’m not going to make either of you cry anymore. Then, when she forgives me, we’ll play together again.”

She looks to him, a small glimmer of hope. “You promise?”

Hawks chuckles and grins at her, the same charming expression that made you fall for him in the first place. He holds out his hand. “Even better. I pinky promise,” he says and confidently hooks her finger with his. “Repeat after me: birds of a feather stick together.”

“Birds of a feather stick together.”

“That’s my girl,” he praises before dropping her hand to pet her head. “I think we might have a little time for me to teach you something before your mommy gets here.”

At the end of the day, Hawks is already waiting for you at the front steps of the agency as your call pulls into parallel park at the sidewalk. You step out and walk towards the steps, but your daughter meets you halfway by hopping over them, her wings flapping to hover before she falls back down onto her feet.

You smile at her. You can’t believe she’s actually flying, at least a little that is, but your surprise is ruined when she cheers. “Mommy, look at what daddy taught me,” she says, bouncing to show you her new hovering skills. “Are you looking? Are you looking?”

“Yes, I’m looking. You’re so good at that. You need to show me more when we get home,” you say but to be honest it’s the last thing on your mind as you glance over to Hawks. “Baby, why don’t you go sit in the car, and I’ll be right there.”

Hawks watches as she obediently follows your instructions, turning her back and happily hopping towards the vehicle.

“(Name), I-” Hawks says, unsure what to expect when your angry glare turns back on him. It isn’t until his yellow visors are already clicking against the pavement that he realizes you hit him. He hisses at the sting on his cheek. “That actually kind of hurt. I guess I had it coming, but I’m not really sure what I did at least recently,” he tries to play off, but you aren’t having it.

“You told her, you told her,” you keep repeating, and he’s backing away in case you decide to strike him again. “Are you trying to get her on your side?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking, and I didn’t tell her,” Hawks explains. “She pieced it together on her own. She’s sharper than you think, she can see that we look alike when she looks in a mirror, and she knows how quirks work. That’s more than enough for her to tell.”

His explanation is enough for you to halt in your assault, and you angrily huff under your breath. You don’t shift to leave, and there’s no door for you to slam away. He finally has you available. “So, what do you want to do now?” he asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she knows; and honestly, I’m glad she does,” he confesses. “I wouldn’t mind seeing her again if you’d let me.”

Hawks swallows his anxiety as he waits for you to answer. Your eyes shift from him back to where she sits in your car, fiddling with the toys obviously left to clutter in the back before you look back at him, thinking.

“She does seem to like you…for some reason,” you add distastefully, but you know full well how happy training makes her. How her little smile beamed when she fluttered over those steps. How the word daddy came from her so sweetly. “She always likes talking about you after she spends the day here. You make her happy. But that’ll just make it harder for her when you leave ag-“

“I won’t,” he cuts off.

“How do I know that?”

“You don’t but I promise not again. (Name), I’m sorry. I’m sorry for telling you to go away like a burden and for not being there. You must’ve been scared, but I won’t leave either of you alone from now on even if you don’t want me there. I’ll be there if you need me.”

“Drop it. I’m not a part of this,” you tell him.

He knows that you’re rejecting his apology, but his ears can pick up what others can’t. He can hear those soft inflections in your voice right before you harden it into aggression, the slight stutter that you so cleverly thought you hid from him as you nearly fumbled your words, a little glimpse of a teenage girl with a crush on her sensei. “Not yet but do know I plan on trying until I make you fall for me all over again. I miss your cute little face when I'd smile at you.”

You glare. “Say that again, and I will smack you in your "cute little" face.”

"You already did that, but if it makes you feel better go ahead, I can take it if it helps you forgive me.”

He just didn’t expect you to actually take him up on the offer. This time, it’s the other cheek that burns.

“You’re right. That did make me feel better,” you say, smirking as you shake the sting from your hand. Hawks grunts, rubbing his jaw as you begin to walk towards your car. He bends down to pick up his shades before following close behind. You open the driver’s door, and say, “I expect you to pick her up at 9 tomorrow. If you’re late, don’t bother showing up ever again.”

Hawks smirks. You certainly became aggressive these past few years, but he thinks he kind of likes it. As you get in your car, he notices Baby Bird smiling at him from the window, her hand up and clutched around that birthday feather he gifted to her as she waves him off.

He’ll definitely be there on time.

[dead-end-street]

690 with Chayenzo pls and thank you ^^

Thanks for the prompt for "on an island". I had intended for this to be shorter but then my hand slipped and it accidentally got smutty lmao enjoy~~

(Read on ao3)

---

The night breeze was stronger than usual on Pagliuzza. A gust of wind blew through Vincenzo’s open window, sending a stack of papers on his nightstand fluttering to the floor. His eyes snapped open, hand immediately going for the gun tucked between the mattress and the headboard above his head. After a few moments he realized there was no intruder — not that there would be on his secluded and secure private island — but a year and a half after living here, he still found himself reverting back to old habits.

Especially now.

He walked to the window, pushing the billowing, white curtain aside to look out at the waning moon in the sky. Something caught his eye down below and he saw a figure walking towards the beach, partially obstructed by the trees. When they reached the sand, he could finally make out that it was her.

---

Hong Cha-young stood alone on the beach, the warm breeze making her oversized sleep shirt shirt, which normally reached just above her knees, ride up slightly. She had arrived that morning after what felt like days of travel, greeted by the most beautiful man in the world, whom she now could finally call her own. The whole day seemed surreal; from finally being back together with him, to touring his island and the villa he’d built with her in mind, to the way his staff already treated her like she was part of the family as if they’d known her for years. He had told her that evening after dinner to get some rest in her room — the one he’d designed specifically for her — and given her a quick kiss that made her want more. She had wanted to object but her yawns kept sabotaging her plans to sneak into his room and before she knew it, she had passed out on her four-poster bed.

A few hours later she woke up feeling much better but suddenly wide awake despite it being only 3 in the morning. After a few more attempts to sleep, she gave up and decided to get some air. She loved the feeling of the cool sand between her toes, the grains exfoliating the bottoms of her feet as she walked towards the water. The moon was getting lower in the sky, the perfect crescent shape hanging above the waves. In all the hustle and bustle of the day she hadn’t actually had a chance to touch the water yet. She started walking again towards the waves beckoning her closer when she thought she heard someone call her name.

Peering over her shoulder she saw Vincenzo in a white t-shirt and what were probably Boorlaro silk pyjama shorts. When he got closer she could finally see his face better in the dark, hair tousled by the wind and a small smile on his face.

“Jetlag?” he asked and she nodded. “It will take a few days for you to fully switch over to this timezone. The trick is lots of water, eating meals at the right time for this timezone, and vitamin D.”

She smirked at the last part and stepped closer so she was right in his space. “So will you just feed me on the beach all day while I soak up the sun like a — what do they call them? Oh, cabana boy!”

He snorted and ran his hand up and down her arm. “Sure, if it would make you happy.”

His smile seemed so carefree — a look she hadn’t seen often on him when he was in South Korea. It suited him.

She turned away and continued her trek towards the water with him quickly falling into step with her.

“I can’t go the day without having dipped my toes in the Mediterranean Ocean!”

“Sea,” he corrected her. “It’s the Mediterranean Sea.”

“Whatever.”

A few more steps and she was ankle deep in the sea, surprised at how warm it was. She walked in a bit deeper until the waves were lapping at her knees and she pulled her sleep shirt up higher so it wouldn’t get wet.

“Is it always this warm?” she called behind her.

“What?”

The strong gusts had finally stopped but the breeze was still blowing at a good rate, making her words lost in the wind.

“The water. Is it always this wam?” she shouted a bit louder this time.

“It’s the warmest now because it’s August, but in the winter it can get down to 15ºC.”

“Ooh, so I came at the perfect time then!” she said, and began to walk a bit deeper, the water now at her thighs. She had to jump a few times to avoid an oncoming swell of water and to keep her clothes dry.

“You should come back inside, it’s late.”

“Don’t you want to join me? The water is so warm and the breeze is so refreshing.”

He shook his head and remained on dry land, which only made her want to do something naughty. She pretended to give up and walk back to him but at the last second, she flung her leg up, kicking a spray of water at him, then ran away cackling. She looked back and saw his nostrils flare, his white shirt almost soaked through and probably his shorts as well. She shrieked when she saw him start walking into the water towards her — a dark, predatory look in his eyes. She tried to run faster but forgot that running in water and on sand was not an easy feat. She almost lost her balance when she looked back at him again, realizing that he was much quicker than she’d expected, and let out an undignified squeal when his hand latched onto her wrist pulling her towards him. She crashed into his damp chest and looked up in time to see him dipping his head slowly, eyes fixed on her lips. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up, waiting for his lips to meet hers when suddenly she felt herself being pushed and falling backwards into the waves.

“YA!” she sputtered, when she emerged from the water to see a huge mischievous grin on his face. He took a step back but she was faster this time and hooked her foot around his ankle, making him topple into the water next to her.

When he surfaced, he looked annoyed, probably mad about his expensive Boorlaro being ruined by saltwater. She knew the only way to take his mind off of it was to distract him, so she swam over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Wet bangs clung to his forehead and she smiled softly. Leaning in, she finally captured his lips with her in a proper kiss. He tasted salty from the seawater but also minty from his toothpaste. She angled her head to one side and he opened his mouth wider, tongue coming out to caress hers. The waves made her lose her balance slightly but he pulled her closer to him, one arm firmly gripping her waist, while the other hooked under one of her knees, pulling her leg around him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders for support, then hopped up and wrapped both legs around him.

The water was warm, but his skin felt warmer under her skin. His shirt had floated up in the water and her bare legs were flush against his exposed torso. She realized her own shirt had floated up, his hand splayed across her back, under the shirt. She wasn’t sure if she could blame the jetlag for this light-headed feeling when there was this much bare skin pressed together, slick and smooth underwater.

He kissed her again and she forgot all about the jetlag, only focusing on the way he deepened it, then pulled back, sucking slightly on her upper lip. She couldn’t help the slight roll of her hips against him but it caught him off guard. He stumbled back a few steps, the water barely reaching his hips now. Had they been pushed closer to the shore? She looked back and the shore somehow seemed farther away.

“It’s the tide going out. It will be low tide in a few hours,” he explained between kisses pressed to the side of the throat and collarbone.

His fingers on her chin turned her head back to him. Back to his hungry mouth that kissed a path from her neck, up her jawline to the edge of her lips. Dipping her head again she kissed him back, moving one of her hands up to the back of his head, raking her fingers through his wet hair.

A gust of wind made her shiver against him, the air feeling much cooler than the water temperature. He wrapped his arm around her tighter and lowered himself so he was on his knees and the water came up to his neck and her chest. She contemplated unhooking her legs from his waist but his hand gripped her thigh and held her there. He ran his hand up and down her leg slowly, ending at her knee, then creeping back up higher and higher. She shivered again, pressing her chest into his, her nipples hard from the cool air. She needed to get lower in the water so her shoulders would be covered by the warm water, so she loosened her leg grip and shimmed down lower, relying on the buoyancy of the salt water to keep her afloat while she readjusted herself. A small wave came from behind her, knocking her into him, causing her core between her legs to rub into his pelvis.

Silk pyjamas left very little to the imagination but now there was no imagination required. He was getting hard against her and the way he broke the kiss to let out a groan gave her goosebumps that had nothing to do with the wind.

“We should probably stop before this goes too far,” he said, shakily, the lower parts of their bodies still pressed together with nothing but his shorts and her underwear separating them.

“Do you want to stop?” she asked, fingers still in his hair.

He let out a long breath and shook his head, “not really, but—”

“Then let’s not stop.”

He laughed against her lips and readjusted his grip so he held her with her left arm instead. His right hand came up to brush her now damp hair away from her face so he could see her better.

“We should go out a bit deeper, it’s getting too shallow again.”

She nodded and slipped off of him, her bottom hitting the sand sooner than she expected. The water somehow felt cool against her skin that had been flush against his warm body for so long. Instead of standing, they both swam a bit further out, with only their heads above the water. When he reached a spot where the water came to his mid-chest, he pulled her closer to him, hands sliding down her back as he kissed along her jawline. In a swift movement, he lifted her up, his hands on her ass, holding her in place against him. Her legs instinctively wrapped around him again.

Her heart was pounding after their short swim but mostly in anticipation of what was to come. She enjoyed the feeling of his large hands cupping her bottom and squirmed a little in his grip. He was harder than before and he let out a ragged breath when she ground her hips into him, at slow and steady rhythm.

She kissed him again, never tiring of the way he always met her ferocious energy, nipping at her lips and dragging his teeth across her skin. She wondered why they never gave into their desires when he was in Korea. There were more than enough chances for them to cross the line and she hadn’t been shy about her feelings, but there was always something or someone in the way or they hesitated too long and the moment had passed.

While she was sad for all the time they had wasted not getting together sooner, she couldn’t ignore the fact that this was one hell of a way to make themselves official — on a private island in the middle of the Mediterranean, half-naked under the moonlight. They never did things in half measures.

Vincenzo’s shirt floated past her and began to sink as it got heavier with water. Somewhere between making out and grinding into him, she’d missed when he removed his shirt. She looked down but could barely make anything out below the surface of the water. Instead, she ran her hands down the flat planes of his chest and stomach, revelling in the new expanse of bare skin. His palms slipped under her shirt and along her back but she wanted him closer, so she leaned back so she could tug it over her head. Her favourite sleep shirt sank to join his, somewhere in the watery depths below them.

The water lapped at her chest, the tops of her small breasts almost visible in the moonlight. He hoisted her up slightly higher so he could dip his head to kiss and lick down her chest and take one of her nipples into his mouth.

“Oh, fu—” she gasped. His hot tongue swirling around her nipple then trailing along her chest to kiss and suck the other one.

Using her feet she tried to push his shorts down since her hands were busy holding onto him so she didn’t sink. He quickly got the message and helped her with one hand to finally push them down over his hips and he was free.

Reaching between them, she lowered her hand down his abdomen and held him at the base, gently running her fingers up and down to prepare herself for what to expect since she couldn’t see a thing past a few inches underwater. She looked back up at his face and couldn’t help smiling at the intense gaze that stared back at her. He was trying his best to keep his breathing under control but she could tell he was struggling. She snaked her other hand around his neck, pulling him into a soft kiss that felt different from the others. It tasted sweeter, somehow.

As much as she wanted to savour this moment, another more animalistic side of her wanted them to finally give in. She needed him inside her. Now. Without breaking the kiss she pulled her underwear to one side then moved closer to him. As if he read her mind, he released his grip on her slightly so she could slide down further and pressed up into her as slowly as he could bear it.

It was her turn to gasp — pressing her forehead to his, eyes squeezed shut — breaking the kiss momentarily. Gripping his shoulders and back, she began to roll her hips, sliding back slightly then dropping back down as he filled her up. The hands on her hip and ass dug into her skin as they moved together. Everything was slipperier in the water and she slid off him a couple times, resulting in giggles from both of them. She dug her heels into his thighs to anchor herself better, switching the angle slightly so she could slip her hand between them again to circle her clit. He quickened the pace incrementally, opting to continue with several quick pumps followed by a few long, deep thrusts.

Their lips met again, a little sloppy from the change in angle and the gradually frantic movements happening underwater, but still good. She would never tire of kissing him. She could feel herself getting close and could only imagine he was too. There was time later for slow, drawn out sex in an actual bed, but there was only one opportunity to have sex for the first time with your ride-or-die partner in the sea. She could truly say this was most unconventional place she’d had sex.

A flurry of Italian poured from his mouth as his nails dug into her hip and his pace slowed for a moment for him to catch his breath. She could tell he was trying to make it last longer but she was ready to go over the edge and drag him with her. She squeezed around him as she accelerated the movement of her hand around her clit and rocked her hips into him a tiny bit harder. Her breath came out in short bursts, chest heaving as she could feel her first orgasm claim her. She slowed her fingers as she clenched around him, her body jerking as she clung to him. Her hand got trapped between them when he pulled her closer to pump harder into her. She could feel another orgasm building from the friction between their joined bodies and it crashed over her unexpectedly. He finally couldn’t hold on any longer, a long moan escaping his lips, and his head falling to rest on her shoulder. He slipped out of her before he came and part of her was sad for the loss of heat between her legs. She wrapped her body around him again as they bobbed in the water, feeling heavy despite the salt water keeping them afloat.

He peppered kisses down her neck and shoulder, whispering phrases that sounded foreign to her ears but mixed with words she understood. Again, she felt light-headed but blissfully happy. She gave him a kiss and untangled herself from him to stand on her own two feet, which almost gave out at first. He slipped an arm around her waist to steady her.

“That was incredible,” he said, an air of disbelief in his voice after he pulled his shorts back up.

“I’m exhausted but I can’t wait to do that again tomorrow,” Cha-young said, with a sleepy wink as they walked back to the shore.

He chuckled, “next time, we need to do it on a surface that doesn’t move. I almost drowned us out there near the end.”

As they emerged from the water they both realized their tops were missing. Looking back into the dark sea, they knew it was a lost cause to go searching for them now. At least he had shorts but all she had on was a pair of navy blue underwear. Crossing her arms across her chest, she let him wrap his arm around her shoulder to lead her back towards the villa. He paused to turn on the outside shower for them to rinse off the salt and sand from their bodies before hurrying inside, both of them dripping on the tile floor.

---

When they’d both finally gotten dry and changed into another set of sleepwear, he knocked on her door to see if she needed anything else.

“Come in,” came her soft voice behind the door and he let himself in. She was curled up in bed, eyes closed, clutching a pillow. “Stay with me.”

He nodded and shut off the light before sliding under the covers behind her. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him so she was flush with his body.

“I’m really happy you’re finally here,” he said into her hair.

“Mm, me too,” she mumbled, already drifting into a deep sleep.

He had wanted to tell her something else but sleep claimed him too quickly. They both fell asleep soundly before the sun began to rise.

[sillyroyalty]

Here I am ! Finally I have risen from my bottomless pit of procrastination. As expected I am here to grace you with a new Haru fic because I refuse to let this tag die

I’m begging you please I need more people to write more fics of him I can’t be pulling this entire tag by myself help (lol)

I hope you guys like this one, please let me know in the comments. Feedback would be great 💓

“HE DID WHAT ?!” your voice shrieked through to the other end of the phone line causing Suzae to hold out the phone a little away from her ear.

“It seems to be fine though” Suzae reasoned “ an ambulance has already came to his aid, the injury is not fatal-" she spoke trying to reassure you only to be met with more panicked sobs and incoherent crying on the other end of the call. You were well aware of Haru’s whereabouts and decided to trust Daisuke, Suzae and Haru with the case they were pursuing. Haru had filled you in earlier letting you know the overall jist of the situation. As dangerous as it sounded and left you in shock he pleaded you to understand and let him carry on with his work.

“I know it’s a lot to take in at once but trust me, it’s going to be fine you’ll see,” he assured you handing you his dirty jacket that was drenched from falling into the ocean.

“Please go home immediately after work, no driving around the city looking for me !” He ordered, brushing away the stray hairs that that fallen on your face from your ponytail, he kissed your forehead and hurried off to a car. “ Bye ! I’ll see you soon” he waved and gave a small smile. You watched as the car sped off with a flurry of emotions running through you, most of which was worry and fear accompanied by the stupid upbeat positivity Haru gave you before he left. You gripped the wet jacket in you hands and decided to cling onto that blind hope and positivity.

Cut back to where you were now, on the phone frantically running out of your office to your car.

Shot. He got shot ! Your mind went into a state of panic unable to comprehend Suzae’s rambling on the other end of the car.

“W-where is he ? Can I come see him ?” You choked out swallowing hard, navigating out of the car park into the road, “P-Please?”

“Of course you can see him” Suzae replied ,“I believe you are already aware of our location, he’s at the closest hospital right now”

Haru awoke feeling heavy and tired. Looking around once he regained his bearings, he was hooked to some medical equipment. He blinked as his eyes tried to adjust to the hospital’s bright lights, letting out a groan as he registered the pain from the gunshot on his leg. Laying there staring into space he thought back at everything that reached at its conclusion. Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice someone being paged into his hospital room until a he was met with a short figure collapse into his chest crying.

Sitting up slightly in bewilderment he realized it was you. Your eyes glassy with tears pouring down your red cheeks. You looked absolutely shaken and were a total mess. He couldn’t help but feel a pang if sympathy for you in this situation. He braced himself to hear you yelling, fussing over and scolding him for getting injured but instead to his surprise none of that came. Instead you regained your posture and sat the edge of the hospital bed. After trying wipe the unending tears streaming down your face, your smaller hand trembled and held his own. Instead you brought it up and kissed it softly, muttering a constant stream of thanking the heavens for him being alive.

Patting your head to soothe your crying he took a look around the room. The hospital room assigned to him was pretty big and private probably booked by the Kambe family. You guys seemed to be alone in this white, sterile, slightly eerie place, no sign staff in sight excluding the small call button.

You caught Haru’s gaze as it drifted across the room, immediately starting to fuss over him.

“Oh my gosh Haru ! Are you okay ? What’s the matter ? Should I call the doctor “ you erupted in a questioning frenzy looking around for any potential problem you could make sense of.

Haru was quick to shake his head and smile grabbing your hands in his,

“No no...I’m fine don’t worry...,” he reassured you. He was relieved that a predicted rage rant from you about his recklessness was showing no signs of taking place for now.

Taking in a deep breath shakingly, you pulled a chair out to sit at the beside after convincing Haru to lie back down to get more rest. You sat there running your fingers through his hair as he tried to recount to you on all that had happened. You stayed fully engaged till the end of the story. After telling you about how he dealt with the butler and then staggered to get help before passing out, he cautiously turned his head to meet and study your gaze. You stared down at your feet processing the entire story before confessing to Haru.

“Wow....I mean... I never knew Daisuke’s family would be in such a complex situation...”

“Well maybe it’s expected of crazy rich families like that” Haru contemplated, “it probably turned out just fine though, I mean I’m here now so-“ Haru broke off mentally cursing himself for bringing up the event of him getting injured. He watched as your mind traced back and recalled the reason you both were sitting in the hospital now, your face turning pale as you thought of the worst case scenario that could have happened.

He watched helplessly as your hands flew up to your face to try to wipe away the tears that once again resurfaced. He sat up immediately again bringing you into his arms as you cried.

“Hey...no...don’t cry please...I’m sorry” he consoled, “ the gun was only shot at my leg, it wasn’t that bad of a wound. There’s a ton of worse-“ Haru once again cut himself off before he accidentally said something that would surely not help his case. Inhaling he spoke again, “ listen...it’s okay now... everything is fine, I’m not in any danger...I’m still here with you, not going anywhere where...” he mumbled. Moving his hands to cup your face to make you eyes meet his, he wiped away some of the tears with the edge of his thumbs, smiling as he observed your eyes blink and the look in them soften.

Guilt slowly seeping in him on observing your state. You looked spent and absolutely exhausted, the fear of Haru being seriously injured had drained all the energy out you.

He scooted further onto the bed patting on the space him to him gesturing you to join him. You hesitated but he was quick to say it was fine.

“Honestly I don’t know what kind of first class hospital dorm this is...” snuggling against you as you lied down next to him,

“ this bed and room is way bigger than any normal hospital ward I’ve ever seen, but guess I’ll have Daisuke to thank for that” he huffed earning a smile from you. Wrapping his arms around you he played with your hair until you had drifted into slumber with him joining you soon after.

[danny-chase]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Titans (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Tempest (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dick Grayson & Garth Characters: Dick Grayson, Garth (DCU) Additional Tags: Titans (DCU) feels, Garth needs a hug, Garth gets a hug, Tula is dead, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hot Chocolate, Sunrises, Snuggling, Hugs, Crying, POV Dick Grayson, sand dunes, Grieving, dick grayson is a good friend Summary:

The one where Dick Grayson comforts Garth over Tula's death.

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Dick crept through the dimly lit halls of Titans Tower. Well, he supposed it ought to be called Titan Cave or something, now that it was underground, but that was besides the point. His friends were light sleepers, and it was late, or early, he wasn’t exactly sure – it was dark outside, so someone was probably sleeping. He should be sleeping; at this rate someone was going to yell at him (a few someones already had), but he hadn’t been able to put down their latest case until he finished analyzing the evidence. It wasn’t his fault; if he tried to sleep then… it wouldn’t have gone well.

Passing Roy’s room, he heard a thud behind the door. Okay, maybe not everyone was sleeping. Donna’s room was noticeably empty across the hall. Dick couldn’t help making a face, yeah, the Titans were like family, but he considered Donna a sister (they sometimes pretended to be twins) and ugh. That was weird. He didn’t disapprove but like, nope, not thinking about it anymore.

 Pressing on, his eyelids heavy, a second open door caused him to pause. Garth’s room was empty. Alone, it would have been innocuous, but he’d seemed distant earlier in the night and retired to his room before the rest. A photo of Tula sat on the edge of Garth bed.

 Dick snapped to attention, shuffling in the room, scooping up the evidence. He flicked-on a nearby lamp, and held the photo close, finding exactly what he’d expected: the faint outlines of teardrops. Sleep be damned, it was time to find Garth.

 Garth had never been the same after Tula died. Dick had fully expected the two to marry; he’d already been working on a wedding gift when the news hit. It was still half finished, sitting in his workshop, collecting dust. Dick strode out of the room, dashing back towards the stairs. Garth didn’t talk about Tula, never to them, never grieved with them. And Dick was tired of leaving grieving teammates alone.

 He took the steps three at a time, mind sorting through the possible places Garth could be. He wouldn’t have gone back to Atlantis; the man was too loyal for his own good sometimes; he wouldn’t leave the tower when they expected him to be around. Likely not at the pool either, Garth would go someplace he could remember Tula, and though they’d swam together in the old tower’s pool, Tula had died before the new base was built. And so, that left one possibility, Dick sped up his pace; Garth was by the shore.

 He stopped on the level just before the surface, popping into the communal kitchen. He pulled one of his leather jackets off the back of a chair and pulled a couple travel mugs out of the cupboard. The Keurig was the single best investment the team had ever made (he again put it on the mental shopping list for his new apartment), and he grabbed a hot chocolate cup for Garth and extra-caffeinated coffee for himself.

 After starting the coffee, he leaned back against the counter, hopping up to sit on it. Closing his eyes, he could still picture Garth and Tula swimming together; the joy they exuded simply by being near to one another. He leaned his head back against the cupboards, sighing heavily. Tula had brought a lightness to the team, a lightness to Garth. He’d gotten so much more confident throughout their relationship, he’d always been kind and loving, but the two brought out the best in each other.

 It was painful to see the changes wrought by her death.

 Even more painful to think of Garth being forced to destroy her possessed body.

 Dick learned at a young age that this world was cruel. And he’d learned that lesson over and over again with every new friend he made.

 It wasn’t fair that Garth had been abandoned at birth. It wasn’t fair that Wally’s parents abused him. Or that Joey and Raven died. Or that Victor had lost everything but his mind. If he listed all the injustices against his Titans family, he’d be here all night.

 His coffee finished next to him, and he started the hot chocolate. He pulled his socked feet up on the counter, wrapping his arms around his knees. He took a careful sip, not minding as the coffee burned his throat. The sensation helped ground him back in the present.

 Bruce had taught him, that even though this world was cruel, there were things you could change to make it more kind. Dick could change himself. He could make Garth hot chocolate. That wasn’t enough, but at the least it was something.

 He refused to wallow, instead turning his thoughts back towards Garth. He hopped off the counter, doing jumping jacks and squats to get his blood flowing.

 By the time the hot chocolate finished, Dick was way more alert and awake then before. Grabbing the mug, he half ran up the stairs, careful not to spill a drop. He slipped on his crocs, flinging open the door with one hand, and balancing the drinks in the other.

 A shiver ran down his spine as the cool ocean breeze danced across his face, tossing his bangs in his eyes as he hustled across the beach. The stars illuminated his surroundings, they were far enough from the cities to avoid light pollution, and coming here from Blüdhaven, he was always stunned by the beauty of the natural world.

 “Garth?” He called. He couldn’t see past the sand dunes, but Garth had excellent hearing, so hopefully he wouldn’t catch him off guard. He was sneaky, but he wasn’t rude. Most of the time.

 He winded his way around, looking for his friend’s footprints. Unfortunately, they were nowhere to be found; the wind kept blowing the top layer of the sand, whipping it up and masking the presence of those who’d journeyed through. “Garth? I know you can hear me.” His shoes hadn’t been by the door. “I’m not sleeping until we talk.” He threatened, stopping in his tracks. He glanced around. A hand waved out from behind another dune.

 Dick rushed forward. “Garth are you…” the question died in his throat; Garth was tucked in a little ball, his face buried in his knees, arms blocking any sign of expression. “…oh Garth.” He breathed, squatting down and settling the drinks in the sand. Garth’s ragged breathing cut through the hum of the night. “Can I…” Dick raised an arm. “…do you want a hug?”

 Garth was unmoving, so Dick sat back in the sand, lying against the dune, listening to his painful breathing. He stared up at the stars, listening as insects chirped and waves lapped against the beach. He looked for a shooting one, because if he could, he’d wish his friend’s heartbreak away.

 If Dick controlled the fate world, things like this would never happen.

 He’d wish away all his friend’s sorrows in an instant.

 But messing with the timeline always had disastrous results. So really. Dick was the one thing he hated to be.

 Useless.

 Back on top of a platform, watching his loved ones fall.

 “I’m sorry.” He murmured, his heart sinking. “Garth, I’m so, so sorry.” His stomach clenched; Tula never should have died. He should have been there, done something more, led the Titans better. But, this wasn’t about him and Garth likely felt the same.

 Garth plopped back into the sand next to him, throwing an arm over his eyes. Dick was at a loss for words, but he continued anyways. “She would be so proud of you.” His brain ran through a list of platitudes he’d memorized. “I’ll always remember how she smiled when you were together. Remember that time she tried making you a cake for your sixteenth birthday and caught the oven on fire?”

 He didn’t move.

 “What about the time she-”

 “Dick?” Garth’s whispered, voice rough.

 “Yeah?” His heart raced.

 “I’ll take the hug if you shut up.” He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

 He sat up and pulled a half-limp Garth into his side, tucking him against his chest. He carded a hand through Gath’s course curly hair and rubbed circles into his back with the other. Garth trembled in his arms, his eyes squeezed shut.

 He bit his lip. He could handle victims of horrid crimes, but he had no idea what he was doing right now. No training in the world could have prepared him for this, no matter how many of his friends lost a loved one, it was different every time.

 He leaned back against the dune, tear drops staining the exposed part of his shirt as Garth began to sob anew. He held Garth tight, squeezing gently, reassuring his friend he was still there.

 They sat like that, for a long while, Dick only moving to take sips of coffee, because there was no way in hell he’d accidentally fall asleep. Garth’s breathing evened out as time went on, and eventually, Dick could pretend things were fine. He played with Garth’s hair for a few minutes more, not wanting to do anything to provoke more heartache.

 Garth let out a long, quiet sigh. “I’m pathetic.”

 “Nope, cut that out.” Garth sat back up, and Dick followed him, keeping an arm slung around his shoulders. “It wasn’t your fault.”

 “Not what I meant.” Garth glumly settled his head in his hands. “Tula… she wouldn’t want to see me like this.”

 Dick handed him the mug of (cold) hot chocolate. “Maybe not, but she’d want you to take as much time as you needed grieving.” Garth accepted it reluctantly. “She’d wouldn’t want you to ignore your feelings.”

 Garth snorted. “Dick Grayson. Lecturing me about ignoring my feelings. Oh, how far I must have fallen to sink to these lows.” He felt heat rise to his cheeks.

 “Hey.” He objected. Garth grinned, ruefully, apologetic.

 “I’m not ignoring them.” He assured, though his smile fell. “I’m managing.”

 “I’m just saying, you don’t have to manage alone.” Dick paused for a moment. “My door’s always open.”

 “I know.” Garth leaned against his side. “And I love you for it. But with all due respect, you don’t have time left to give.”

 “I-”

 “Neither does Wally,” Garth continued, cutting him off. “Donna and Roy, I don’t wish to interrupt, Victor is dealing with a lot, and the others wouldn’t understand. They didn’t know Tula.” Dick pressed his lips together. “I don’t intend on being a burden to the team.”

 “You’re not a burden, we wouldn’t exist without you.” Dick nestled his head on Garth’s shoulder. “Trust me, I’ll always have time for you. And so will the others.”

 Garth hummed, warming the cold beverage with his hand, and taking a long sip.

 “For real.” Dick continued. “I can take time off my job, I’ve been thinking about quitting anyways-” Garth’s laughter echoed across the water. “-okay fine, I get your point, but Garth, please you can talk to us… you can talk to me. But I get it if you don’t want to, or feel like you can’t, so promise me, you’ll talk to someone if it gets too much… we have people approved by the JLA.” Therapists. Psychologists. Psychiatrists.

 The sun was starting to peak up over the horizon, the sky lightening into a melancholic shade of blue, not a single cloud in sight. Garth nodded. “I promise.” Dick sighed in relief, his chest deflating at the words. He pressed his mug to his lips again. Empty. He frowned, tossing the cup aside. Traitor. “Promise you won’t worry?” He could hear the hope in Garth’s voice.

 “Sure.” Dick answered, nonchalantly.

 “Liar.” Garth accused. Dick grimaced. “You’re quite easy to read when you haven’t slept in two days.” Garth patted his shoulder placatingly. “I wouldn’t expect you to not worry.” Silence fell between them.

 “Thanks.” Garth whispered after a few minutes. Dick squeezed his shoulders in response. This was, at the least, something he could do.

 The sky turned purple and pink, chasing away the dreary colors and reflecting beautifully off the water. They sat together, watching the sunrise, huddled together against the harsh world. The caffeine was wearing off and Garth had dark circles under his eyes. If they were ambushed, his paranoia screamed, they’d be easy targets. But as he lay back down against each Garth and the sand, Dick didn’t resist the urge to let his eyes close.

 He snuggled close to Garth, content with the knowledge that some alarm would wake him if things went wrong, and aside from that, his friends were nearby. Here, with Garth, he felt safe, and it seemed Garth held the same sentiment. Dick listened as his breathing deepened, taking in the moment until he too drifted off to sleep.

[theficplug]

Girls Trip {Erik fic}

Warnings: 18+, smut.

{reader goes on a cruise with her girls during winter break post-breakup & meets Erik when she needs him most. The intro to a series. I hope that y'all enjoy this long ass intro x}

“Told you you'd like it! We know what you need.” your friend Lynelle says as you and your other 2 best friends step into the lobby of the ship.

Your original plan was to stay home and catch up on much needed sleep and netflix binge watching during Winter Break but Khadijah, Tasha , and Lynelle (Lennie)  had other plans.

They could never get on the same page to go on a proper vacation but the one time you wanted to be left alone they've decided to get it together. 

2 plane rides and now you're here on a cruise on the way to 'paradise'.

The last few weeks went by in a blur while you were buying bikinis, trying to contain your emotions, and leaving behind your frozen over city for Bali.

You'd be lying if you said that you weren't a little excited to be leaving behind a terrible end to a 4 year relationship.

“Girl I just paid 12 dollars for Netflix this month. I planned on staying home and re-watching The Get Down. I need to at them and ask them when they're gonna add Crooklyn." You say as your phone begins to go off. 

"Uh-uh, just cause your man had community dick don't mean you gotta feel like you did something wrong. You are the sweetest and most caring person I know and gave everything you had for that man. You are a strong beautiful talented black woman. You run your own business and don't need his ass for nothing. And if I were into girls I would've been shot my shot back in the 7th grade. Now, we gon' get tipsy, dance the night away in 23$ dollar heels, and find a fine ass beard to rid-"

You quickly cut off your best friend by answering your mother's call. You held onto Khadi's hand to let her know that her support means everything to you.

"Hey Mama. Yes I made it safe and sound." You say into the phone as you shake your head and laugh at your girls. 

"HEY MA " Khadi says waving as she smiles at the woman on the other side of the phone she's known for over half her life. 

"Hello Khadijah, are you behaving yourself ?" She asks as Khadi shakes her head with her tongue sticking out.

"MY GIRL." Your mother says as they both laugh and point at each other through the screen. 

"I'll talk to you later, enjoy yourself baby. Sometimes a little fun and laughter is the cure for heartache. Love you, be safe." She says before ending the video call.

"Alright , we all meeting up for the foam pool party after the tour right? Cause I need to shower and stuff first." You say as everybody agrees

An hour or two later you were standing in front of the hotel mirror giving yourself a pep talk in your new bikini. You eyed your reflection as you tell yourself that somebody son is gonna love on your fupa, and the 3 years wasted with Derrick isn't going to matter anymore. 

"Knees. Knees. Come on knees." Khadijah yells as Lennie and Tasha  drop it low and make it clap as a chorus of 'ayyeeee' erupts in the elevator. 

You make your way down to the lobby with the girls after throwing back a few shots in Lennie's room. You past by a group of other girls in the elevator and they were blasting Cash Shit from their phone. 

"Link up with us later." Paris says from the other group before moving over to the party already happening. 

The drinks are flowing through your system and Tasha is filming you for the gram as you sing along to the music. You accidentally trip backwards onto a man behind you before immediately apologizing and giggling.

"You good mama." He says as he catches you with one hand and the other still holding his drink. Without missing a beat he twirls you to the beat so that you can play it off. 

"What's the nigga name?" He asks as he takes another sip of his drink and tries to act like he ain't see you watching the suds slide down his scarred and chiseled chest to his happy trail.  

"Excuse me?" You ask confused as he flashes his gold fanged grill and cock his head towards the phone in Tasha's hand as she gives you a quiet  'oooh shit okay'. 

"The one you tryna prove a point to. Only name that matters now though is Erik." He says as he grinds against you and move your braids to your other shoulder. 

"Alright Erik, lemme see if you can keep up then." You tease him as you begin to whine on him and ride the beat as he keeps up behind you. You realize you have an audience now with his boys glancing over at you and your girls watching him. 

His hand holds you in place before he asks if it's alright if he kissed you. You nod before you know it his soft ass lips are on yours. He pulls at your bottom lip slightly while you continue to whine on him. 

"Thank you for the dance." You say before you place one final kiss to his lips as the song ends.

You walk over to Tasha before grabbing her hand and leaving to find Lennie and Khadijah 

You knew he was still standing there watching you walk away you turned to give him a look over your shoulder with a raised brow.

"Stop watching my booty" you mouth at him jokingly 

"YOU CAN'T EVEN BLAME ME. ITS FAT AS FUCK." He yells back to you over the music.

After an hour of dancing and having a good time with friends you only checked your phone once to find 3 messages from Derrick begging you to call him then two talking about how disappointed he was with you.

You stepped out onto the upper deck to tell him to stop calling you and ruining your good time. 

"I can do what I want. I'm fucking grown. All you ever did was sit at home on your ass and criticize me for every damn thing I did. I made sure you were happy when I wasn't even okay… And fucking my cousin was your way of showing me you loved me huh? Don't call me no more and stop calling my mama asking her about me too. " You yell into the phone before hanging up.

You stand there staring out at the ocean for a moment. Trying to breathe deeply and ground yourself so that you don't cry.

"You good?" You hear a voice call from behind you.

"What, you following me now?" You ask Erik as he pulls up one of the lounge chairs to sit next to you and light his blunt. 

"Nah, not at all. I came out here to smoke and chill. All that going on in there really ain't my scene. My boys got me to come here. They got white boys in there doing backflips off the balcony and shit. I probably would've still been at work right now." He say as he exhales and leans back against the lounge chair. 

You laugh softly before shaking your head. 

"That's how I ended up here. I was planning on spending Christmas and The New Year at home with my family. But my friends had this surprise for me to ring in the new year in Bali. And now here I am. I'd still rather be watching Godfather of Harlem. I gotta catch up." You say sitting next to him in the lounge chair. He instinctively wraps his arm around you letting you lay your head on his shoulder.

Granted, it probably seemed weird as hell to be cuddling with somebody you just met and barely knew but to both of you it just felt right in the moment.

"Godfather of Harlem ? That show is my shit. It's slept on forreal… If you ever in Oakland you should stop by sometime. I run a museum based on preserving black art and culture." He scrolls on his phone until he finds some of the pieces and shows it to you. But the main thing that stood out was Stevens Black Art & History: for the culture. 

"Erik Stevens?" You gasp and sit up to get a good look at him

"Yeah , why you looking like that? What's up?" He questions

"Oh my fucking God. We was best friends back in the day. It's me, look, minus the bifocals, braces, and that James Brown bob my mama gave me damn near every day." You say and he stares at you in awe for a second. 

"Damn it's really you." You says quietly as he runs his thumb over your cheek imagining you the way you looked in 5th grade.

You loved Erik growing up and spent almost all of your time together but after his father died you didn't get to say goodbye. He was taken into the system and after that you heard that he was in the military doing who knows what. You tried to find him but after a while it was no use. You couldn't believe how different he looked now. He looked tired down by the woes of life but still as beautiful as the day you met him.

" 'Member this?" You ask as you fish your out of the pocket of your cover-up and start playing Best Friend by 50 Cent. 

You watched as he looked up at you standing up to dance. You pull him up too as he puts out the blunt while laughing and stepping with you. 

"If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time. Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine?" You sing to him as he twirls you around 

"First we get the talkin, then we get the touchin. If we get pass the phone games we'll be fuckin. I kiss like the french therefore my tongue in your ear. Do it like the dogs do it girl and pull on your hair. For me a different scenery just mean a different position. In the tub or on the sink I improvise now listen. In the chopper or on the jet join the mile high club. I'm no fool I know money can't buy me love. But I'm a different type of nigga that make sure that you know. Instead of a rose, there's a hundred dozen of those. See I see somethin special when I look in your eyes. With your legs way back I see this pussy is mine. If you ain't sure when I'm talkin I don't tell you no lies. But there's things that you say that have me wonderin why. When I don't say what I'm thinkin it don't mean that I'm shy. Got on that shit you picked out for me that's why I'm so fly." He raps effortlessly while kissing softly on your neck and all those memories start flashing back to you as you sway with him.

"Damn you still remember all the lyrics to our song." You say to him as you look over to see your girls and some of his friends.

"You out here ?  Bitch! I thought I was gonna have to do an interview on First 48 for yo ass. I was gon' drop a raft over to come find you. You know I can't swim and I don't got my floaties with me." Khadi says as she walks in with Tasha and Lennie . 

"I'm sorry I came out here for fresh air and then ended up literally finding my fuckin childhood best friend. Before the baddest bitches on the planet came to be. There was THEE duo. Everybody meet Erik."

After everyone got to know each other. Y'all brought the party to the secluded little upper deck with the perfect view of the ocean. You had drinks , music, and good company almost enough to forget about the whole situation back home. 

"Girl you know I love you but my feet hurt and Sebastian said he gon' rub em" referring to the man she currently had her arms around. 

"Alright , we'll meet up in the morning for breakfast" you tell them before giving them kisses goodbye and heading out with everybody. 

Tasha and Lynelle were currently singing to each other and sharing cute kisses off to the side. You couldn't help but to smile and think of how true love must feel. To love and be fully loved back like that.

You were standing in front of your opened room door when you realized that his room is across from yours but he had no plans of sleeping in it.

"Uh-uh. Who said you were invited in?" You ask Erik with your index finger on his chest. 

"I thought you said you wanted to watch Netflix? We can order room service and everything. Whatever you want" he says to you licking his lips and closing the gap between the two of you. 

"I want to forget. I want to have fun. I want to feel loved and appreciated for once. That would be nice." You say quietly as he takes his hand in yours. Pressing small kisses to each of your knuckles.

He hesitates for a moment before leaning in to kiss you slowly. He held your face in his hands as he continued to back you into the room kicking it closed with his foot. 

 "I'm glad that we found each other. After all of this time. " You say to him in between kisses

"Believe it or not I kept that picture of us. The one your mama took of us at the zoo next to the monkeys. I took it with me on tour everywhere. Right next to my mama's picture in my wallet. I never lost a battle. I made it home in one piece. Shits wild." He said zoning out for a moment like he was going somewhere else. 

"Heyyy." You call softly. You move his hands from your waist 

" I've got you." You whisper to him before leading him to your bed and laying him back. 

You wrap your arms around him almost cuddling him as you lay your head on his chest while listening to his heartbeat and sitting on his lap. 

You place a soft kiss to his lips before moving away from the bed to change, settling on a large shirt and nothing else. 

Erik followed suit and just stripped to his boxer briefs before you come back to the bed carrying soda , your laptop, and snacks. 

"And before you ask. Yes, I packed my laptop because work never stops, and yes I packed snacks because I can't find Takis out here." You say chuckling softly while he shakes his head laughing softly. 

You both settle into a comfortable position before loading up the movie. You settled on Nappily Ever After but it wasn't long before he was softly kissing on your neck with his hand under your shirt.

"Gonna eat it from the back. That's cool with you" he mumble into your ear.

If that's cool with me? BIH, I'm trying to let you give me twins. Triplets even. Play it cool. Play it cool . You thought to yourself before saying a silent apology to your girl Sanaa Lathan as you quickly moved the laptop to the bedside table.

"Damn she pretty." He says before kissing each cheek and gripping the back of your thighs. You knew what was coming next as your hands found the headboard and arched your back.

You can feel his tongue begin to explore the back of your thighs to your folds as he bends you forward. 

You hiss softly as his hand began to roam. You looked back at him as his fingers enter you. He begins to slowly and deeply work you open for him. You knew that you were dripping at this point and couldn't contain how loud you're being.

You can hear him let out a groan as he gets his first taste. Before you know it he's devouring you like you're his favourite meal and is completely in his element. His hands are massaging over your cheeks while he suckles your clit and then slides his tongue in. You begin to work your hips down onto it as he's on his knees behind you. His fingers massaging skillfully over your clit. 

"That's how you want it? It's all for you." You egg him on shakily as you reach back to grab at his dreads knowing that you're nearing your orgasm. You thought you were seeing stars but the audacity of this man bringing his hand down hard across your left then right cheek and then the pom-pom itself, did it.

Your toes curled and your head was tilted back as you continued to ride his face and the orgasmic wave crashed over you so hard it took your breath with it. 

You called out his name speaking in all types of broken Xhosa as he begin to lap you up and savour your taste. 

When you stopped shaking he sat back on the bed, proud of himself as he licked his lips. 

You turned to face him and he wasted no time continuing to massage you.

But what you hadn't realized during changing you accidentally dialed Derrick. Who's now on the other end, yelling into the phone 

{to be continued! I hope that it was alright!}

[star-and-the-motherverse]

Chapter 4 - The First Breath

The Butterfly Who Lost Her Wings

Word Count: 2980 | AO3 Mirror | Previous | Next

Summary: One question still remains… what does Star think of all this?

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:* ♥ *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

“Poor little Butterfly. You've lost your wings.”

Star had been in a lot of bad situations in the past, but this one was a top contender for the worst of it. The Whispering Spell had done its work and tossed her somewhere she didn’t recognize at all, into an ocean of what appeared to be corrupted liquid magic. Her plan—if it could even be called a plan—must have worked in some fashion, because Toffee was here with her, too.

Now that she had finally found him, she quickly began to realize why her wand had become so increasingly dysfunctional. His presence in this dimension was likely the source of the problem. He appeared to have manifested directly from what was left of the magic, taking on the same sickly green color as their surroundings. His sludge-covered figure occupied so much space that even a singular tooth of his was larger than her entire body. He had ahold of Star by her hair, clearly amused by her struggling.

“Let me go!”

He paid her no mind, instead focusing on the tear in space in front of him. It was a window to the real world, and it was so close, just within reach. It was right there. But no matter how much she yelled and screamed, her mother’s unflinching stare never changed. They were worlds apart. Only Toffee had the power to communicate with her now.

“Now then,” he began, grinning a malicious smile. “Your majesty… do we have a deal?”

Horrified, she saw Moon hold out her hand, offering the severed finger. Her mother’s face was wearing a reluctant frown. “Take it.”

“No, mom, stop!” Star shouted, frantically trying to swim towards the opening in the sky. Maybe if she got up there, she could stop her mother somehow. Toffee couldn’t win. No, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I can take him! Just hold on! Please!” She struggled and struggled, but no matter how hard she fought, she couldn’t seem to make it any further. Her mother placed the finger in his hand, and the deed was done. Magically, it reattached itself to his severed finger, and it looked as if nothing had ever been absent in the first place.

Inside of the wand, Toffee’s beady yellow eyes turned their focus to Star herself. She froze up as overwhelming fear washed over her. Everything about the situation was telling her to run as fast as she could, but she had nowhere to go. He towered over her smugly, content with what he had achieved. He lowered his head towards her, and she frantically tried to move as far away from him as she could.

“How does this make you feel, little Butterfly?” His voice was menacingly low.  “Do you feel scared? Helpless?”

“Y-you won’t get away with this,” she snarled back, doing her best to appear intimidating.

“Get away with what, princess? Tell me, what do you know about my true intentions?”

He was right, in some capacity. At the end of the day, she still hardly knew anything about him or his motives. She couldn’t help but ask herself, what do I have to do with this?

Toffee’s patronizing grin widened as her uncertainty grew. “I do admire your fortitude, Star, but you really should know what you’re getting involved with before you charge in headfirst. There’s nothing brave about making foolish choices in the moment.”

“I’m going to fix the problems that I created,” the princess declared. “You’ve hurt my family enough, I’m not gonna let you do it again!”

“How admirable of you.” Toffee hummed, pausing to think for a moment. “You know… we are not so different, you and I.”

“No! You’re a murderer!” Star hissed. “We aren’t anything like each other, not at all!”

“I only do what I must to help me bring my cause to reality,” he explained plainly, remaining excruciatingly vague. “I don’t believe you’ll understand it just yet, but you will. Oh, you certainly will. This place will make you realize it.”

Star allowed herself to be smug. “I think you should have more faith in me than that. I’m not just gonna flip sides for no reason.”

“But that’s just it, princess. I do have faith in you. I believe that you are capable of much more than you realize. You have the power to change other people.”

W-what? How was she supposed to respond to that? It almost read like a compliment, but she knew that he had to have some sort of ulterior motive behind it. “Y-yeah, well… I’m going to stop you! I don’t care what it takes.”

His booming laughter echoed around them. “Ah, of course. In that case, I look forward to the day we meet again, princess.” Toffee looked up into the darkened sky for a moment, and then back down at Star. He opened his mouth, and a single, two-syllable word left his throat. “Goodbye.”

He started to rise into the sky, oozing further and further away. “No, no NO NO!” Star struggled to keep her balance, but was ultimately thrown off of him and was sent cascading down into an ocean of sickly green magic that swallowed her whole.

Star breached the surface mere seconds later, flailing her arms and turning her head back and forth in a panicked state. Only when she saw that she was alone did her heart stop pounding so violently in her chest. The magic had erupted into waves, crashing back and forth. She struggled against the sludge, but she was unable to stop herself from getting pushed under a couple of times. Frantically, she looked around, hoping to find something off in the distance, something to give her an idea of what to do next.

Without warning, her cheek marks began to glow a soft golden color. “What..?” All around her, small pieces of uncorrupted magic were glowing as well, easy to see in the plane of darkness. But they were fading out of existence fast, succumbing to corruption.

The princess started to panic. She tried to swim over to the nearest blob of light magic, but it disappeared right before she could grab it. “No, wait!!” Every attempt that followed was increasingly futile. Frustrated tears began to pool in her eyes. Her cheek marks kept flickering in and out, making the scattered uncorrupted magic even harder to spot.

A particularly strong wave grabbed ahold of her and shoved her head under the surface. She kicked her legs furiously and bobbed back above the waves, breaking into a fit of coughing. Again, her cheek marks glowed. She didn’t understand why—as far as she could see, there wasn’t any uncorrupted magic on the surface anymore. She’d wasted her one chance.

But far, far below, there was her beacon of hope. A piece of magic shimmered from its home in the depths. Without a second thought, Star gasped for air and dove under the surface, pedaling her way towards it. There was so much distance between it and her, but naïvely, she let herself pretend that there wasn’t any at all. It was just her and this scrap of magic. That was all that mattered anymore. Just a little farther!

And then it was gone.

She could feel herself breaking down. Her energy sapped from her body and her movements slowed. She instinctively breathed in and was only met with the suffocating presence of the corrupted ocean invading her mouth, stealing the air out of her lungs. The fear that had been plaguing the back of her mind took over full force in those last few seconds of consciousness. There was absolutely nothing she could do. Never had she ever felt so hopelessly lost.

✧·ﾟ: *·ﾟ✧

“Star!”

The pitter-pattering of feet across the ground echoed all around her head. A bright white hallway extended infinitely in front of her.

She started giggling hysterically. “Wait up!”

“Come on! You’re gonna miss it!”

“Miss what?”

“You’re never gonna know if you don’t hurry up!”

Her eyes blinked slowly, and when they opened again, there was only darkness in front of her. Was she blindfolded?

“I can’t see, this isn’t fair!”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Mhm...”

“Oh come on, don’t pout like that.”

“Well, I need someone to help me so I don’t accidentally trip and die.”

“That’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?”

“Oh, come on, Tom, she’s right.”

She smirked. It felt good to hear that every once in a while.

“Okay, fine! Fine.” Someone took hold of her left hand. “You just better keep up, then.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Not long after, someone was holding her right hand as well. They all took off into a wild sprint, thundering through the field.

“Come on, Star!”

“Slow down!” She huffed out, exasperated. “Gosh, what’s the big hurry?”

“Star!”

Her name bounced off of the walls and ceiling, assailing from every known direction. She blinked repeatedly and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts—until finally, some piece of reality snapped back into place.

“Hey, Star!”

Her eyes finally opened to a world of bright clashing colors, swimming around in the sky. There was a distinct voice coming from in front of her.

“Does this, uh, need salt?”

Glossaryck? Why is he here? She wondered about it, but ultimately was in too delusional of a state to come to a reasonable conclusion. Wait—did he have a spoon? Why?

Apparently, her unresponsiveness warranted being poked repeatedly with said spoon. “Hey,” he said alongside each additional jab. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Star.”

It was annoying, she decided. “Oh, knock it off!” She swatted at the spoon in his hand, but completely missed due to her still skewed perception. She managed to sit upright, but not before Glossaryck shoved the spoon into her mouth.

“Less salt? More salt?”

Offended, she spat out the spoon and shoved it back into his hands. No amount of salt was going to save… well, whatever that big, bubbling pot of stuff was supposed to be. “Ugh, what is wrong with you?!” She pushed herself off of the ground and dusted herself off. “What's going on here? Where am I?”

“I have no idea. I doubt this place gets very many visitors. I mean, look at the place! It’s in disrepair, no one even dusts. Some people should never be hosts, I tell you—“

"Oh no,” she managed to gasp out. There were only so many places she could assume this to be, and well, with what had just happened… “I’m dead. I'm totally dead. I died!”

Glossaryck sighed, shaking his head. “Well, if you're dead, then I'm dead. And if you're calling me dead, I find it... well, I find it a little insulting, frankly.”

“Oh, no. I am totally dead.” There were so many confusing factors at play that she hardly could wrap her head around any of it. “And I'm stuck here…with you.” This was not her ideal purgatory by any means…

“Uh-huh. Again. A little insulting.”

Why do I have to be stuck here with him, of all people?! “You betrayed me!”

“I'm sorry it seemed that way,” Glossaryck murmured, returning to the side of the soup pot. “Can we get beyond this and just enjoy our time here together in... wherever we are?”

“Do you really think I'm gonna stay here with you and eat your dumb magic soup? Toffee is out there doing who knows what!”

“Star, what’s out there doesn’t really matter to you right now, does it?”

“But it’s still my problem! I chose to go into the wand, I wanted to deal with him myself! Okay, yeah, maybe my mom tried to stop me, but it’s too late to change anything. I’m here now.”

“Well, why didn’t you listen to your mother, then?”

“What are you—ugh, you’re just like everyone else!” Star snapped, turning away from him and crossing her arms indignantly. It seemed like she could never escape this spiel, but she certainly did not need to hear it right now, and from Glossaryck, no less.

“And everyone else is… who, exactly?”

“The ‘everyone’ who thinks that I’m incapable of doing anything for myself!” She put on a petulant, imitating tone as she continued to fume, mimicking the many people her anger had stemmed from. “‘Uh oh, would’ja look at that! Star’s gone and messed everything up again! You were supposed to be watching her! You were supposed to be keeping her under control!’”

“A straw man often enough does nothing to support your argument, Star,” Glossaryck said rather simply, not so much as flinching at her enraged display.

She ignored him. As far as she was concerned, she was just venting at an emotionless brick wall—a mirror, even. Something that was only there to bounce back all the terrible things she believed people thought of her. “I know I’m careless, reckless! I’m a joke! But is it really that hard to understand what I tried to do? I’m so sick of being monitored like a child! For once, I just wanted to clean up my own mess. I did this—“ she gestured to the pocket of space around them—“and I brought Toffee into the wand. I... I just wanted to end everything. I just…”

Her knees suddenly felt very, very weak. Silently, she cursed herself for not being able to stay angry. But she never was very good at that, was she? No, if there ever was a moment where she felt overwhelmed, she’d fall to her knees, cry, and wait for someone to come rescue her, to make all the bad things go away. Then she could pretend to be prepared for the next time, until another obstacle came along and knocked her fragile self down again.

At this point, she was only arguing with herself. “I am a child,” she mumbled under her breath. “Just an impulsive, destructive little child.” I really messed up this time, didn’t I? “I-I just wanted to prove that I can do this,” she cried out, tears already pooling in her eyes. Her hands came up to cover her face. “I thought that I could fix everything, but… I just made everything so much worse.”

“Star,” Glossaryck spoke up, his voice surprisingly sympathetic. “You tried. That’s all we can really do, isn’t it?”

“I tried,” she repeated. “But I messed up. Really, really bad. I-I don’t know what to do…”

“Sometimes, you don’t know anything. There’s quite a lot that I don’t know, even.” He hovered down to the ground to be at eye level with the young princess. “But you can’t let it scare you. If you’re scared, you’ll never start trying to learn why.”

She was shuddering now, crying. “I’m scared,” she whimpered. “I’m really, really scared, Glossaryck.”

“Of what?”

“I-I don’t know! I don’t know anymore.”

“Well, then, how about this? How about you try to figure out what you’re not scared of, and go from there?”

“But I don’t know-“

“Oh, come on, now, you can’t be afraid of everything.”

“Maybe I am!” was her childish retort, before she curled further in on herself.

“You aren’t going to get anywhere if you just sit here, on the floor. Do you really just want to hide behind my soup pot and not come out until you know everything is going to turn out okay?”

She sniffled. “W-well, no… I don’t want anything to do with your dumb soup.”

“There you go. You aren’t afraid of soup. That’s one thing off the list.”

The absurdity of that statement managed to get a solemn giggle out of her. “Yeah, sure.”

“Oh, and the floor. Obviously, you aren’t afraid of the floor.”

“Glossaryck, this is silly.”

“Well, evidently it’s working. There are a lot of things you aren’t afraid of. You just don’t realize it.”

“Duh,” she laughed, wiping at the tear streaks on her face with the palm of her hand. “I’m not afraid of you, or the air, or—“ she gestured at the pot—“or whatever weird ingredients are in that soup.”

“If that’s so easy, then why don’t you know what you’re afraid of?”

For a moment, she thought about it. “I guess… I’m really afraid of dying. And being stuck here, forever. Being alone... and not knowing what’s out there.” The blip in space seemed to extend infinitely in every direction she looked.

“Good, good.” He nodded his approval, and a sincere smile appeared on his face—something that happened very scarcely. “That’s a good start."

“Okay, are you done interrogating me now?”

“I mean, you aren’t done yet. You still need to think about if you’re willing to act on one of those things.”

Her eyes fell on the horizon yet again as she thought about it.

“Just what are you going to do, Star Butterfly?”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Glossaryck interlace his fingers. He was very clearly waiting for an answer of some kind. What exactly, she wasn’t all that sure.

“Well, I... I guess I’m gonna go see what else is here. Wherever here really is. Maybe...” she stood up quickly, looking out into the unknown. An ocean of colors swam and bled into an indistinguishable horizon, reaching out forever into the distance. “Maybe there’s something in another part of the wand that can help us get out of here. Well… assuming that we are in the wand, and not in some weird type of after-death purgatory.” She subconsciously crossed her fingers. I really hope it’s the first one…

As she left, Glossaryck watched silently. Not a single emotion crossed his face. Only when she had disappeared did he shake his head, carrying a quiet chuckle under his breath.

“It’s for her greater good,” he said. He returned to and stared down into the soup pot intently. An ambivalent smile formed on his face. “For her greater good.”

[goldenponcho]

A Cruise Fit for a King Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of my Scarlemagne fic. 

Next Chapter | Chapter 1

“Ya see anything, Jamack?!”

The amphibian sighed with a shake of his head, “I really hate to say it, kid, but there’s no matching a frog’s eyes to a jaguar’s. If you’re not seeing anything, there’s no way I am.”

Kipo snarled, resisting the urge to go full mute, and taking the reigns, guided their dragonfly down to the ship below. They were still a good twenty feet above the deck when she dismounted, landing on four paws before completely demuting.

 “This makes no sense! I know Scarlemagne’s still out there; there’s no way he could have drifted this far already!”

 Wolf leapt onto the boat from the waves below as the narwhal she had been riding dove down to patrol the ocean floor for the twelfth time that day.

 “Anything?”

 Wolf glanced from beneath curly hair with a slow shake of her head.

 Kipo exhaled unsteadily, and sunk to sit on the step behind her, “This can’t be right!”

 Her gaze drifted over her friends, Benson and Dave’s usually happy, encouraging faces awash with hopelessness, Wolf’s determined eyes now avoiding her’s. Her parents, both with tears already welling in their eyes.

 “He can’t have…” Kipo pressed the heel of her palm to her eye.

 Song sat next to her daughter followed by Lio, each embracing her from either side.

 “Scarlemagne is still out there, mom! I know he’s still out there all alone AGAIN, and I can’t help him!”

 “I know, honey. I know,” she brushed the hair from Kipo’s eyes, “We’re not gonna give up yet. We promise.”

 “That’s right,” Lio gave his daughter’s shoulder a squeeze, “He IS family. If he’s out there, we’ll find him.”

 ~*~*~*~

 Hugo had managed to wedge himself into the floor of the back seat, both front seats leaned back and his star blanket draped between them to shade himself from the blistering heat. He had been adrift for three days now, and while he was aware that a mandrill could go quite some time without food or water, the lavish lifestyle he had previously treated himself to certainly didn’t make the drastic shift any more pleasant, even after months of living in a cage.

 He had pried a cup holder lining from the center console to set out in case it happened to rain, but ocean water, he quickly found, would not be an option. He couldn’t even be comforted by the playing of his piano. The pressing of a key resulted in a dull, stunted DONK, hardly a sound suitable for his usual concertos.

 Hugo shuddered with a groan, holding his aching, growling stomach, then sighed dramatically, “Is this really how the great Scarlemagne is to exit this life? At least being left to be cast in molten gold would have been more dignified.”

 The thought had crossed his mind to make a meal of his dear, deceased pet, but he found himself unable to bring himself to it. The opportunity was long past for that he was sure, sitting out to bake in the sun for three days would not have done nice things to the flesh left behind.

 Whether it was the hunger, the heat, or the boredom, Hugo burst from beneath the seats, sending them forward into the piano with a loud BA-TWANG as he leapt onto the backs of them. “If I don’t get some form of sustenance RIGHT-NOW, a am going to LOSE MY-”

 He was cut off by a splash from just in front of him, and he jolted back to some semblance of sane thinking to peer into the water. Nibbling at the damp feathers of his flamingo were many decently sized fish. Koi, by the looks of them, each with two dorsal fins, six pectorals, and eyes lining all the way down each side.

 Hugo raised a brow, “Did I just accidentally pray?” he shrugged with a mumble, “Well I suppose I see why the ancient humans did it so much, it’s quite cathartic…”

 He was about to grab for one before he halted. Even his former self, bent on absolute authority over both mute and human kind would never have considered devouring a sentient mute. And now, even a creature with similar intelligence to Mondu felt like pushing it. So peaking over the windshield, he cleared his throat.

 “Excuse me! You fishes there!” he cupped his hands around his mouth, “CAN YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!!”

 Seeing the lack of reaction, he began cautiously making his way over the windshield, “Ok…last opportunity to speak up!”

 A couple darted around at the vibrations of him having shaken the floating vehicle, but they quickly came to settle again to nibble on the carcass before them.

 Hugo gritted his teeth, “Well…nothing ventured, nothing gained, I suppose…” he loomed above the feeding school, wriggling fingers above them and locking eyes on one to snatch up as quickly as possible.

 “AHAH!!”

 He had been so intent on lashing out with as much speed as possible, he hadn’t thought about keeping his balance, and before he knew it, he was underwater, salt stinging both nose and eyes.

 “ACH! BLECH!! PFF!!” he sputtered, as he reached the surface of the water, shaking his mane with a fit of coughing.

 Eyes and nose burning, he made to swim toward the car before he felt a sharp pinch at his side and shrieked. Then another at his ankle, then another at the back of his neck, and soon he was surrounded by tiny biting mouths.

 “ACH! Cut that OUT!!,” he scrambled to escape the nibble attack he had found himself under, and eventually, he managed to haul himself back into the cab.

 He quickly found that rubbing his eyes made the stinging worse, so he settled on fluttering them in an attempt to rid them of the salt. As the burning began to subside, and he could open his eyes properly, he glanced at his foot.

 “Oh! It seems someone was a bit of an eager beaver!” He reached to remove the flopping fish that had a grip of the pointed heal of his shoe, and held it up to face level. “Alright, flopsy, one last chance to beg for your life!”

 He was answered with yet a second face full of seawater as the little fish unleashed a stream from its mouth with an impressive amount of force. With an insulted gasp, Hugo shook the fish spittle from his person before baring his teeth over his prey with a snarl to take a bite. But before fangs could make contact with scales, a piercing scream sent daggers through his eardrums, and he dropped his prey to cover them.

 The fish flopped erratically in the passengers seat before falling to the floor, all the while emitting the high pitched squeal, and soon, the surrounding fish had joined in.

 “RRRGH!” Hugo grabbed the slippery nuisance by the tail and raised it over his head, “SHUT! UP!”

 He reared back to throw it, but was nearly knocked off his feet as something massive jostled the car. He caught himself against the door, losing the little fish over the side. As he followed his retreating prey with his eyes, he noticed that the water in the distance seemed unusually dark, and it only took a second after that dark water had started to draw closer for him to realize that these tiny fish weren’t his only company.

 Two tall, orange and white dorsal fins cut through the waves, rushing his way at ramming speed.

 “NononoNONOO!!” Hugo hunkered down in the floorboards just as the biggest koi fish he had ever seen in his life leapt over him, a row of black eyes along its side staring him down as it passed over him.

 “Oh, dear,” was all he could squeak out before finally regaining use of his legs and scrambling to find something to defend himself with. He opened the glovebox only for a pile of pink, flamingo shaped air fresheners to spill out over the floor.

 “Well, now I know where those went…”

 He jerked his head around as the multi-eyed creature turned back his way with a screech he could swear caused him to temporarily lose hearing in his left ear, and with eyes darting back to scan for a weapon, his gaze landed on the gear shift. Grabbing it, he braced a foot against the dash and pulled with all his strength. From the corner of his eye, he could see the orange fins of the mega koi slice through the surface, and pink sweat poured from the struggling mandrill’s forehead.

 “OOOOOOO!!!!” He braced for impact, then felt himself topple backwards as the metal bar ripped from its socket. When his back hit the back seat, he was face to gleaming, black eye with the mega koi.

 The gargantuan fish wriggled it’s head closer, toothless jaw snapping in an attempt to snap him up whole, and Hugo shuffled to reach for the broken lever at his side.

 “I suppose you would be dear ol’ mum, then…” He gripped his weapon tight. He only had one shot.

 The gapping maw opened once. Twice. And on the third opening, Hugo shoved the jagged metal bar into the roof of its mouth. His ears rang at the roaring shriek that assaulted his ears again, and he attempted to move along with the thrashing head as it clamped onto his arm, threatening to snap it.

 It took only seven seconds for the monstrous creature to go limp, but it seemed a lot longer when one’s arm was trapped in a large fish’s mouth. Hugo pried the heavy jaws open and freed his now saliva covered arm with a grimace, dislodging his makeshift weapon.

 “My sincerest apologies, mumsy, but if anyone will be eating today, it’s going to be me.”

 He stood in the seat, a little wobbly at first, and examined his quarry. This would last him a good while if he could preserve the meat well. Perhaps the dash would get hot enough to cook some. But he wasn’t about to wait for that now.

 “Ugh…the smell of the sea really does revolt me…” he glanced down at the gear shift, and wiped it with his sleeve, “…but I’m afraid it’s going to be mega koi tartare for maaany meals to come…”

[a-secondhand-sorrow]

Inevitable

(read on a03)

They found each other in middle school.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how people tend to come into your life at the time they need to. Leave your life, too. They’d both had friends in elementary school, if not many. But once puberty hit and they were all thrown into a new, different building from the one they’d populated for the last six years, those friends disappeared in a puff of smoke, quickly enough they each questioned whether they’d existed in the first place or if they were just a trick of the eye and a well-placed mirror.

Computer labs, in middle school, were better. Or bigger, at least, and the teachers didn’t hover over each person as though the second graders would manage to break the desktop monitors from the early 2000s. And, of course, no one who was anyone every purposefully spent time there.

And so of course Evan and Connor met there, in sixth grade. Not met, exactly, as they’d already known each other from six years of being in the same school and vaguely in each other’s classes, but they spoke for what was probably the first time.

“Are you going to type anything?”

Evan startled, his eyes moving away from where they’d been locked on the computer screen as his mind traveled. To his surprise, Connor had wheeled over from where he had previously been seated across the computer lab and had chosen to stop about a foot from Evan’s own wheely chair. His permanent frown made his brown eyes appear harsher and colder than Evan would have liked to see.

“Sor-uh, sorry? What?”

Connor nodded to the computer screen, where a cursor blinked in and out of existence on a blank word doc. “Your document. You’ve just been fucking staring at it for like, fifteen minutes.”

Evan, still an elementary schooler at heart, internally jumped at the curse word but tried to keep it out of his face. “Yeah? I, uh. I’m not following.”

Connor’s stare was obscenely judgemental. “So are you going to write anything?”

“I was going to!” Evan said, a sudden wave of defensiveness surprising him a little. “I just? I’m not really sure what to write.”

His new companion sighed. “All right. What do you want to read?”

“...What?”

“What do you want to read?” When Evan made no sign that he understood, Connor sighed again, kicking one foot across the floor. He accidentally sent himself flying back a little in the process, but he slid back forward using his other foot pretty quickly. “I watch this YouTube channel, and they have like, art tips or some shit, right? And they always say that if you don’t know what to draw then you should draw what you want to look at. It’s the same with writing, I bet. So,” and with this, Connor propelled himself forward so his right elbow rested on the table right next to Evan’s left, “what do you want to read?”

Evan thought for a moment. He wanted to read a lot, quite truthfully, but he didn’t know how much he could trust Connor with. Accepting his status as an outcast, he decided to tell him the truth. It couldn’t do too much damage.

“I want to read encouragement.” For once, his voice didn’t waver at all.

“Encouragement?”

Well, too late to go back.

“Yeah. ’Cause, you know, this whole having no friends and spending all of my free time in the computer lab thing sucks, but I need to tell myself it won’t last forever because if I don’t I’ll go insane.”

He didn’t mean any of it as a joke, and it was more of a nervous ramble than anything else, but Connor laughed and Evan found that he rather liked the sound.

“Alright, then. Encouragement it is,” Connor decided. “Start it off. A note for yourself.”

He stole the keyboard and keyed in a ‘Dear Evan Hansen.’ Evan was surprised that Connor knew his last name, but Connor shoved the keyboard back before he could question it.

“Uh, okay,” Evan said, and he spoke as he typed. “Today wasn’t an amazing day, and it hasn’t been an amazing year.”

“Wow, encouraging,” Connor muttered under his breath, forcing his hands onto the keyboard over Evan’s. “But you won’t be stuck in this shithole forever, so at least that’s going for you.”

“Connor!” Evan practically squeaked. “The school reads these things! You can’t swear!”

Connor just rolled his eyes and passed the keyboard back to Evan.

The two continued on, passing the keyboard back and forth between them for each sentence. It wasn’t really encouraging by any standard, as they’re mostly just complaining about how bad their days have been, but in the end, Evan laughed and Connor smirked while they headed to the printer, one letter with a nested haiku hidden inside later. And as Connor presented the paper to Evan with a mock-bow, he spoke again.

“You know, you’re wrong about one thing.”

Evan’s heart almost stopped. “What?”

“You do have a friend,” Connor said. “Me.” A look stole across his face, his cheeks dropping. “If..if that’s okay.”

Evan nodded once, and Connor gave him a half smile-not the smirk of before, but a smile that seemed genuine, a peek of sunshine in a cloudy expression.

Connor and Evan came into each other’s lives at exactly the right time when they each needed it most. Maybe it was inevitable that they would have found each other, or maybe they were just very, very lucky. Evan certainly thought that he was lucky to have Connor with him throughout the trench of middle and high school.

And so time marched on, and nothing was certain or easy but it was still easier than it had been. Being with Connor was easy in a way that it wasn’t with any of his previous friends. He didn’t feel like he had to apologize for existing around Connor, much as he wanted to sometimes. Because it didn’t feel unnatural and uncomfortable to be around him as it often did with anyone else; being around him felt as easy as breathing, and even when his lungs failed him and closed up in anxiety, Connor was there.

They still wrote notes to each other. They were, as Connor said, “fucking nerds,” and so they kept up the tradition, sometimes to each other and sometimes to themselves. They seemed to know which letters were okay to read and which were for the other’s eyes only; Evan’s frequent encouragements to himself were sometimes read by Connor and sometimes left alone, something he endlessly appreciated. And together, they rolled their eyes at Cynthia’s or Larry’s or Heidi’s skeptical looks when they gently prodded the two about their romantic interests or all the time they’d been spending in each other’s rooms, attempts that were surely meant to be subtle but were anything but.

Evan found himself watching Connor in those times. He’d learned to read Connor quickly, looking for each shift in expression with a practiced eye. But his expression then was almost unreadable. His best guess was that Connor didn’t really care. He didn’t, either. He could handle the questions and skeptical looks, since all his time with Connor was truly time he cherished for the comfort he felt in their moments together, even when they didn’t speak. He was just happy to have a friend, and he thought - knew - that Connor felt the same way.

(he ignored the growing feeling in the pit of his stomach, a great mass of tangled vines and leaves that seemed to latch itself to his skin. he told himself it was just nerves, that creeping feeling around his heart. he believed it, too. because he and Connor were meant to be best friends and best friends only.)

They spent nearly all of their time together at school and at home, and inevitably they accompanied each other on their respective family trips. Heidi had much less time off work than either of the Murphy parents did, so Evan found himself many a summer Friday packed in the car with the whole Murphy quadruple on the way to the beach an hour or so away from their town. Too afraid of getting carsick to use his phone or read on the ride, he mostly passed the time chatting with Connor and Zoe. Evan and Connor often had difficulty sustaining conversations with each other in front of other people, but Zoe didn’t seem to have this problem; she always managed to keep Evan chatting about different music genres or astronomy facts or canceled TV shows from the early 2000s. Connor usually didn’t seem to mind it, but it must have been weighing on his mind somewhat, enough that he couldn’t push it away with his normal excitement over getting to drag Evan into the ocean for half a day.

“Do you like my sister?” Connor said softly one Friday, facing directly out to sea. He dug his feet into the soft sand as a tiny wave met his ankles. Evan almost missed it, but he realized what Connor was truly asking a moment later.

“What? No, I, no, that’s ridiculous, I, uh, I mean-” he shook his head rapidly. Connor didn’t appear sated. “Zoe...Zoe is great. But I’m not, I don’t think that I…she’s more like a sister to me than anything else.”

Connor didn’t seem to know what to say. He further dug his toes into the sand.

“Why?” He finally said. “Zoe is great. She’s...probably perfect for you in every fucking way.”

Evan furrowed his brow. “Why are you asking me? Did she…”

“No,” Connor rushed to clarify. “No, I don’t think she does. She didn’t ask me anything, anyway. I just…” Evan let Connor scrounge for words. “I’m wondering why you don’t feel that way when there’s someone right in front of you who’s practically the fairy tale happy ending you probably dream about.”

It wasn’t the most eloquent phrasing ever, but Evan understood what Connor was getting at. He gazed at the back of Connor’s head a few feet in front of him, and instinctively, he found himself smiling at the reality of the boy in front of him. He finally pushed forward through the wet sand and reached Connor’s side, standing shoulder to shoulder.

“I don’t know,” he said finally, running one hand over his short, coarse hair. He chanced a shift of his gaze towards Connor. The light caught on his high cheekbones, giving him an almost ethereal look. “I can’t, I guess I just can’t control things like that. Maybe if I could turn it off and on, I would feel like that...like Zoe was perfect for me. Like she and I were destined to be together.”

He saw Connor swallow roughly.

“But I can’t. And Zoe is fantastic, but I don’t like her like that. I don’t think she and I are destined to be anything more than friends. People come into our lives for a reason, you know? And I don’t think that’s hers for me.”

And they were quiet for a moment.

“Little too feminine for your type, I guess,” Connor finally muttered, eyes scanning out over the horizon where the sea met the sky. Evan felt a laugh bubbling up in his throat, and he backhanded Connor’s shoulder without looking at him directly.

“Hey!”

“What?” Connor said, finally meeting Evan’s eyes. The sudden, sharp focus in them made Evan’s breath catch in his throat. “It’s the truth.”

“Yeah,” Evan said, trying to keep his voice even. “Maybe it is.”

That was the closest they’d ever come to confessing anything; even in the bright, unforgiving sun, those four words felt much larger than they really were, and he almost regretted them. They somehow seemed more dangerous in the light of day than they did when whispered under covers in the comforting darkness of nighttime. But he didn’t regret them (couldn’t, really), because the smile that Connor smiled in response was brighter than the sun reflecting off of the sandy waves. Waves that crashed into their ankles moments later, cold and harsh and salty, and it was then that Connor laughed, the sound high and clear and fitting softly into Evan’s ears.

And into high school they marched, equally unsure of what they would face. Mostly the same as middle school, but they had each other from the beginning. They didn’t have every class together, but they had enough that they could get through the day. Connor learned that sketching helped to calm him after a day of school and Evan relearned that nature helped him. Connor joined him most days in Evan’s backyard, despite his pollen allergies.

Evan, in true Evan style, had grabbed assorted flowers as the two walked home from school and had begun to twist them into a vague crown shape. He didn’t really know how to, but it was coming out all right. He sat with Connor in a tree in his backyard, occasionally glancing up to Connor to see his progress on another sketch. He couldn’t see what the sketch was, only a few vague shapes and lines, but he didn’t know much about drawing anyway. He was mostly just glad to have Connor with him. Smiling softly, he plucked up a small blue flower and tucked it behind his ear.

“Is that a flower in your hair?” Connor said. He must have looked up from his sketchbook just in time to see it.

“Yes,” Evan said simply. “Would you like one?”

Connor snorted.

“What?” Evan demanded. “It matches your aesthetic.”

“Oh, yeah. Flowers are so punk rock, Evan.”

“Punk rock,” Evan mocked just under his breath. He was rewarded with a pencil hitting him in the shoulder a moment later, followed by a grunt of annoyance from Connor as it immediately fell to the ground.

“I shouldn’t have done that.”

“That’s what you get for your violence, Con. Karma.”

“Where’s your karmic retribution for forcing me outside at the height of allergy season?”

Evan shrugged. “I’m too nice for it. My karma balances out.”

“That figures.” There was a pause, and Evan thought he’d be able to finish his flower crown in peace, but Connor’s voice called “hey, catch!” before he could.

Immediately Evan’s pulse skyrocketed, heart in his throat. A book dropped into his lap, nearly making him drop his flower crown. He almost fell from the tree in an attempt to grab the book before it could slide from his lap, but in the end, both he and the book made it just fine, only a few years off of Evan’s life total. Evan ran his thumb over the edge of the sketchbook, where a yellow sticky note protruded slightly.

“Jesus Christ,” he finally said, when he regained air in his lungs. “You know I can’t catch. Why would you do that?”

Connor shrugged. “To see you jump.”

Evan glared as best he could against the sun.

“Well,” Connor said. “Open it.”

Evan thumbed it open to the sticky note indicated page. He was immediately accosted with his own face staring back at him, followed by an angle he could assume was what Connor could see of him while they both sat seated in the tree. He was out of breath again, but this time he just didn’t know what to say. He studied his own face; it had the same big, open eyes, skin shaded and dark and smooth against his cheeks and forehead, lips parted just slightly and turned up in the barest of smiles. And in the second he just looked relaxed more than anything, completely at peace in his environment. That idea, him calm and settled, nearly brought tears to his eyes. Instead, he looked out towards his house and smiled. He inhaled once, and once again, trying to work through the heavy feeling over his heart and chest.

“Oh my God, Connor. These are...really good.”

“Well, I had a great subject to study.”

Evan can feel his cheeks darken at that, but luckily Connor doesn’t have a great vantage point to see it. He shifted on the branch in order to get a better look at Connor. He, too, appeared relaxed. Evan held the sketchbook in one hand and traded the completed flower crown into that hand as well, passing both up to Connor. “C’mon. Show us that Fae blood.”

Connor’s mouth twisted into something half smile, half grimace. “No, no thanks. No need to pay me for my work. Just leave it.”

“C’mon, Connor,” Evan whined. “Please?”

They held eyes for a moment, and Connor nodded. Grinning triumphantly, Evan watched as Connor lowered the flowers onto his head. The sun behind Connor’s head seemed to dip just behind it, giving all of Connor’s long hair the impression of catching fire with all of the light it reflected. Connor looked almost otherworldly, and Evan caught himself marveling at the fact that Connor even existed, and that he had the good fortune of knowing him. Of being allowed to force him to wear a flower crown, he thought with a smile. He felt that same pressure return to his chest, and he found himself thinking that he’d quite like to be on that branch with Connor, soaking up the light, soaking up Connor’s body heat, pressing closer to him.

He didn’t like the idea of having that feeling, much as the feeling itself made him feel a type of lightheaded happiness that made the tips of his fingers feel tingly. No, he didn’t like having the feeling, because he knew that Connor didn’t have it. And if Connor knew that was how Evan felt...

The first day of senior year was when Evan felt like he could burst with the feeling. Even just looking at Connor hurt, as though despite his black jeans and gray sweatshirt he was filled with all the light of the sun. He found himself in the computer lab, pouring it all out into a letter to himself.

“Well this is fucking weird, isn’t it?”

Evan’s heart jumped up into his throat. He spun in his wheely chair, his eyes automatically connecting with Connor’s. Of course Connor had known where to find him. He stood quickly, crossing Connor’s path and making a beeline for the printer.

“What is?” He said finally.

“Being in a computer lab. I mean, it’s not 2005 anymore. I forgot this place fucking existed.”

Evan shrugged. “I don’t know. I kind of like it. I mean-“ and he ignored the wave of nostalgia that crashed over him, the memory of Connor’s elbow next to his own at eleven years old so clear and strong that he could feel it, “remember when we used to hang out in the middle school lab?”

“Do I ever,” Connor muttered. He crossed the room in a few long strides, turning so his back leaned against the table and his shoulder was nearly against Evan’s own. Evan didn’t look at Connor, instead choosing to wait for the impossibly slow printer to print his letter to himself. “Hey,” Connor said, his voice impossibly soft. His hand reached over and settled at the corner of Evan’s jaw, which tensed out of habit. Connor didn’t pull away. He gently guided Evan’s face to look at his own. “Are you okay?”

A nervous flurry erupted low in his gut at that question. “What, I, uh, I mean-why do, do you ask?”

As Evan reached for the paper in the tray, Connor shook his head a little bit. “You’re avoiding me. You have been all day.” He swallowed roughly. “You won’t look me in the eye.”

Evan didn’t deny it.

“Did I - God.” Connor cut himself off, closing his eyes for a moment. He reopened them, immediately focusing back into Evan. “Please just look at me, Evan.”

And Evan did. He looked into the eyes that had been beside him for almost seven years, the deep brown eyes he’d once viewed as harsh and cold but now saw untold warm, wild pools of color inside of.

“Are you okay?” Connor said, his lips moving in a new way, as though each word was difficult for him to say.

Evan opened his mouth, closed it again. He tried to speak again. “Yes.”

Connor’s eyes flickered down for the briefest moment. “And if I read that letter, I’d be able to see-”

“You won’t read it,” Evan said, his voice sharper than intended in his desperation. “You won’t take it.”

A muscle worked in Connor’s jaw. “No. No, I won’t.”

Evan nodded once, slowly.

Connor’s eyes still searched his, but he couldn’t break eye contact, not anymore. Truthfully he was okay, but he wasn’t when Connor was that close to him, when his thoughts scattered in a thousand different forbidden routes. He couldn’t think with Connor’s touch, couldn’t think anything but a thousand things he wasn’t supposed to think about his best friend. He didn’t want to hurt Connor anymore. He couldn’t decide what to do, and the impulsive part of his brain, the side that wasn’t actually impulsive but was rather in tune with some plan Evan must have secretly had for years, was rapidly taking over.

Connor’s eyes flickered down to Evan’s lips, hesitant and pained but full of so much longing that Evan felt his own heart ache.

And then Evan kissed him.

It felt inevitable, in some roundabout way. Like some cosmic path led them to that point, with Connor’s lips pressed to his and his hand splayed along his jawline and their hips digging sharply into each other’s. Like no matter how often they claimed straight-laced, testosterone-prone innocence, they’d end up right there. Maybe they’d professed friendship and platonic feelings to make themselves feel less guilty, and maybe they’d inevitably end up as more like they were destined to be. Maybe they were bound to be more than they could ever be, entwined in a way that others didn’t think of as natural.

And Connor kissed him back, and it all felt inevitable, like finally feeling a wave crash around his ankles when he turned his back to the ocean and could only hear the approaching water rather than see it. It felt inevitable, but Evan didn’t particularly care whether it should happen or not. For once, the list of things he cared about began and ended with one thing, and he had that right at his fingertips. The pressure of Connor’s body on his, all sharp angles contrasted to the soft way his lips pressed to Evan’s, drove away any other thought or desire or care he could have. He pulled Connor closer to him and felt his cheeks heat at the noise, almost feral, that Connor made when Evan parted his lips to allow Connor’s exploring.

And he kissed him and he kissed him back, and that was more than enough, more than he could have ever imagined.

They broke apart later, and as Evan’s eyes drifted open and he saw the light catch on Connor’s eyelashes and begin to reach his eyes, he unfurled the paper from his grasp and grabbed Connor’s hand with his free hand. He pushed the letter into Connor’s fist and closed his fingers around it. Connor didn’t seem to be able to tear his eyes away from Evan’s, but after a minute he lifted the letter up. Evan studied his face as Connor’s eyes zipped across the page at superhuman speed, as they always did. He recognized the expression on his face, finally, for the first time in a while. The corners of Connor’s eyes had crinkled in amusement, but he could see the happiness flicker a little towards the middle of the page. Evan mimicked Connor’s earlier nervous reaction, one hand twisting his shirt and his chin dropping closer to his chest. He felt Connor’s soft hand at his jaw again, tilting his head back up so he could look in Evan’s eyes.

“I would never think that,” Connor said, the slight flicker of anger making the different browns of his eyes stand out from each other in stark contrast. “Evan. I would never think that. I would never think those things. You’re—” his voice cut off, seemingly of its own accord. He continued, and his voice was a little stronger. “You’re the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened to me. Jesus, Evan. You’re the only good thing. I could never think that about you.”

Evan didn’t miss the way Connor’s voice wavered towards the end. As Connor leaned in and gently pressed his lips to the corner of Evan’s mouth, he felt his arms move of their own accord and wrap themselves around Connor’s shoulders. Connor hugged him back and Evan buried his head into the base of Connor’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Connor laughed. “For what?”

“I don’t know,” Evan said, still whispering. “I don’t know. I thought that you, when you knew how I- I’m just sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Evan felt a warm, gentle pressure atop his head for just a second. He realized it was a kiss a moment later. “Don’t ever be.”

Maybe it was all inevitable.

[kaimaciel]

Hetalia Fanfic: Seashells and Roses

Characters: Spain, Portugal, Iberia, Romano (South Italy)

Summary:  After accidentally communicating with the ghost of his mother, Spain learns he has a brother he never heard about. After revealing the DNA results at an important conference, he doesn't get the result or the tearful reunion he was hoping for.

Chapter 1:  A Ghost in Spain's Basement

Spain did not know if it had been the herbs, the chalk on the floor, the old books, or the several statues of saints that he accidentally knocked on his basement's floor. Maybe even his extensive swearing after seeing the mess. Whatever the cause, he was staring wide-eyed at an apparition of Iberia.

"Mamá?" he asked, taking her appearance. She looked just like how he remembered her with her long white robes, her bright green eyes, and her long, wavy brown hair.

Iberia blinked in her ghost form and also stared deep into Spain's face as if she didn't recognize him. It was understandable, she had died when he was still a very small child who didn't even have an established name yet.

"Fill?" she asked in Vulgar Latin, her smile broadening as she realized who she was talking to. "Baby boy, is that you? You're so grown up! Let me look at you!"

"Mamá, how are you here?"

"That does not matter. Look at you, so handsome! And you're alive! You made it out! When are we?"

"Twenty-first century."

"You lived so long! How are you? How much did you grow? What do they call you? Back when you were with me, we didn't have a name for you yet."

"They call me Spain now! But it took a long time to unite all the Kingdoms, that's why I got a name so late."

"They named you after Hispania then," she seemed to ponder, most likely having mixed feelings due to her tumultuous relationship with the Roman Empire where that name had come from. "I see. It's a fitting name, my son."

Happily, Spain ran out and got a map of his territory to show his mother how much he had expanded after she had died. He tried to reach out to her and touch her, but his hand went right through her. Though he wanted nothing more than to hug her, he was glad that he could at least talk to her again.

They had been talking about his past for a while when Iberia asked to see his map again.

"You grew up so much, my love. What about your brother? Is he here with you?"

Spain blinked twice before staring back at his mother with a confused look on his face. "Brother?"

"I forgot to introduce you two back when I was alive and I'm sorry about that, then the wars kept coming and I died before I could tell you. Where is he?"

"Mamá... I don't have any brothers. What are you talking about?"

Iberia remained silent for about ten seconds before she started screaming. "No! No! I left him by the sea! I knew I should have taken him with me, that boy kept running towards the ocean! What if he drowned? What if the moors got him? Or the Vikings? But he's not on the other side... so that means..."

"Mamá, I don't understand what's going on," Spain asked, almost as anxious and his mother in front of him. "Are you telling me I have a brother? You had another kid?"

Before Iberia could answer, her form began to flicker and fade. "Oh, no! It seems my time is out. I have to go now, little one."

"You can't go now, Mamá! I still have so many questions!"

"Please find your brother, son. He's still alive or he would be on this side! I love both of you very, very much!"

"Where did you have him? Mamá!" Spain called out, but it was too late. Once again, he was alone in his messy basement.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wait a minute, you summoned your mother from the dead?" Romano asked literally after spitting his expresso.

Spain didn't hear his former underlying's question, he crossed his arms around his chest and remained deep in his thoughts.

"If I have a brother I would have met him by now, shouldn't I? I mean, I would know right away, right? That's how family works. You just know," he said, staring at the blue sky in the Italian café he and Romano liked to meet. "Ah! Having a little brother would be so great! Someone who looks up to you and loves you to death!"

Romano shook his head and ordered a drink. "You have a very romanticized idea of a sibling, you bastard. Real ones are a pain in the ass!"

"What do you mean? Veneziano is like... the cutest, best little brother ever!"

Romano took a sip of his drink before facing the older country. Spain could be older, but he was so fucking naive sometimes he wondered how he was still alive.

"Look, I love my brother, okay! I would kill for him in a heartbeat, but hardly a day goes by when I don't want to kill him too. Or at least bash is stupid, hollow little head with a hammer!"

"How could you say that?" Spain asked, visibly shocked. "He's so sweet!"

"Oh, he's sweet, but he's also a pompous prick who thinks he's better than me," Romano finished his drink. The alcohol was making him emotional and loosed lipped so he had to be careful. "Sibling relationships are complicated. It's not all love and hugs, mostly it's fistfights and screams. There are a lot of complicated feelings when you share the same parent with someone. A lot of resentment. You can ask America or England. Hell, even Russia!"

"Belarus seems to love her brother a lot."

"That's not the sort of 'love' a sibling should have!"

Spain put his hands around his expresso cup. "Anyway, I still want to look for him. We're having that conference next week so I should have the DNA results by then. I tested mine with everyone in Europe and the folks from North Africa."

Romano frowned, his head felt lighter with the alcohol. "You don't need a DNA test, everyone knows it's Por--"

"I can show everyone the results at the conference and then we can have a big party to celebrate!"

Romano shrugged. Talking to Spain right now would be useless. Instead, he ordered another drink.

[lunanight2012]

A Whole New World Prelude Pt 3

Key:

E/C = eye color

H/C = hair color

H/L= hair length

S/C = skin color

Y/N = your name

L/N = last name

N/N = nickname

(Two hours later)

I screamed, {E/C} eyes shooting open and quickly sitting upright. Not prepared, I smacked my head into something equally as hard.

"Ow! What happened?" I asked, rubbing my head. 

"Ye bloody passed out on us two hours ago. I got ye stitched up." Harry explained, startling me. Opening my eyes, once more, I saw Harry pressing his palm to his own forehead, wincing as he did so. “Why is yer head so ‘ard!!” he hissed, glaring at me between his fingers.

"S-sorry!" I exclaimed, backing up.

I stopped when I accidentally knocked over a photo frame. I froze, catching the frame before it could fall. Lifting it up, I turned to look at it. A family photo it would seem.

Is that his dad? Wow he doesn't look like the Captain Hook I remember. His mom seems very pretty, and nice. But wait, how was this picture taken?

"Is this your family?"

"Ye. Now if ye don't mind." Harry took the photo out of my hands before I could even say anything else.

I blinked. "You have sisters?" I blurted out.

"Ye, now shut yer mouth and come on. School's out now and Uma wants us on the Lost Revenge." Harry stated, grabbing my wrist and pulling me off the bed.

~~~At The Lost Revenge~~~~~

I froze as soon as we got on the ship. Everyone was looking at me. I tried hiding behind Harry. Wincing in pain as I released my grip on Harry's jacket. 

'It's gunna be ok. It's gunna be alright.' I repeated in my head.

"{Y/N}? {Y/N}!" Uma yelled snapping me out of my thoughts.

I peeked out from behind Harry to see Uma glaring at me. 

"Were you listening?" She almost growled at me, I shook my head.

She rolled her eyes. "Well then you're going to pretend you know how to handle a damn sword. Come on crew! Let's prepare to face those worthless brats!" Uma exclaimed.

The crew cheered, holding up their swords. Harry took a spare sword from one of the crew and took my {dominant} hand and placed the sword handle there. Of course I still winced from the pain. 

Harry walked me over to a part of the deck and instructed me to stay put and to look mean. As soon as he walked away I looked up at the sky and noticed a small crack in the sky. 

'Huh? Wait, is that the barrier they were talking about?' I thought to myself, not even realizing that around the pupils in my eyes were thin rings of gold. Barely noticeable. 

"Oh Shrimpy~! What have you got there? That new girl shouldn't even be here!" An all too familiar voice boomed from the docks.

I shivered and gripped the sword handle tighter.

Mal and her gang. 

My hands started to shake. A memory of my past flashed through my mind.

My mother screaming at me when she found me in the backyard in the rain. But what she was screaming at me about was that the rain didn't touch me. It was pouring yet I was completely dry. I knew I had an affinity with water. But with this damn barrier I'm just getting nothing. Maybe it was just in my world. Maybe I'm just a freak..

Suddenly a knife came flying towards me. On some miracle of reflex I swung the sword and reflected it. I looked up and saw a boy… What did Harry say his name was.. Jack? No…. Josh? No….. Jay! That's his name.

Jay was Jafar's son. Hmmm cute but not my type. Suddenly I was sword fighting Jay. And I had never fought with a sword before…. Wait have I? Maybe as a small child.

"What's your name, new girl?" Jay asked me, snapping me out of my daydream.

"I don't have to tell you!" I replied, smirking.

Jay smirked as he continued to sword fight with me, slowly pushing me towards the edge of the ship. Shit. If he keeps at this I'm going to fall in. And yea, I never learned how to swim.

I'm unsure if he could see the slight fear in my eyes or he just thought he had the upper hand. But all of a sudden Jay got up close to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. He then whispered in my ear.

"We could use someone like you on our side. Consider this our offer~!" Jay smirked, a very quick peck to my cheek before he let me go.

I was too out of it. Didn't realize I was falling till i hit the ocean head first. Unprepared, I started drowning. Struggling under the water, my eyes were getting heavy. All I could think was, 'Why don't my powers work?????'

As my vision started fading the last thing I saw was a figure, then darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"{Y/N}? {Y/N}???" I could hear my name but it was so far away.

Air? I could feel air entering my lungs. 

My eyes shot open and I quickly sat up, coughing up water.

"Oh good ye're alright! I'm gunna kill tha' bastard!" Harry exclaimed.

I looked up after coughing up all the water that was in my lungs. Harry was sitting on the beach, drenched, smudged eyeliner. And oh my god, my face was definitely heating up, mostly because Harry looked absolutely hot. Shit.

I sneezed. Shivering from having just been in the ocean. Harry sighed and stood up. Holding out a hand to me.

“Come on. We gotta go get ye dried off so ye don’t catch a cold.” Harry stated.

I grabbed his hand and with his help got up on my feet.

My {H/L} {H/C} hair was soaking wet. My clothes were soaked. My nose is starting to burn from the salty ocean water. I looked at Harry, hugging myself.

“L-Let’s g-go. I’m f-f-freezing!” I exclaimed in a shivering stutter.

Harry smirked, grabbing my hand in his. “Come on, {Y/N}. Let’s go back to my place, well I guess since ye’ll be stayin with meh it’s “our” place. But anyways come on.” Harry rambled on, pulling me to follow him.

Once we got to the apartment Harry had me go into the run down bathroom while he looked for some clothes for me to wear. I stood in the small bathroom, examining my surroundings. There wasn’t much. An old sink, a toilet that somehow manages to work, and a shower that looks like it could use some scrubbing down. I was startled when Harry opened the bathroom door and threw some clothes at me.

“There ye go. They were meh older sister’s clothes. They should fit. Ye can dry off with that towel in tha’ corner.” Harry stated.

I looked over at him and noticed his eyes were closed. At least he’s a gentleman. He closed the door, leaving me in the bathroom alone. I blinked, feeling my face heat up again. Was it just the thought of him seeing me? I shook my head. No. He’s only helping me because Uma would get mad at him if her newest recruit was sick. Also, is there medicine on this island? I have a feeling there isn’t.

I quickly dried off and got changed. {If your H/L is medium/long, then: I put my hair in a high ponytail.} I took a deep breath and opening the door. Harry was in the small kitchen area, though all it had was a retro styled rundown fridge and a sink. 

“T-Thanks for lending me your sister’s clothes.” I smiled.

Harry waved the back of his hand at me as he was at the kitchen sink. Was he hand washing dishes? 

I looked around the house. Messy, small, kind of reminded me of those studio apartments back home. This was definitely bigger than the apartment I had. But this one is definitely messier. Can’t complain though. I guess this is what my life is gunna be now. Hmm. 

“{Y/N}? Ye there? We need ta go. Uma’s gunna want us at the shop.” Harry explained, now standing at the front door, hook in hand.

How long has it been now? I walked over to him and we walked outside, and towards the Chip Shop. I looked up at the cloudy sky. Hmm. Has it really been an hour and a half already? Wow. 

“Ye alright lass?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrow in confusion.

“I’m alright, the day is just going by very fast that’s all. And…. I’m just thinking about the fight on the ship.” I responded, rubbing my left wrist with my right hand.

Harry continued with his confused look. “What do ya mean by that?” 

“Well. So um. Back in my world I had a small affinity for water. But here I can’t even make the water do what I want even a little. So I’m just bothered by that.” I explained as we walked through the market. 

I watched Harry steal a slightly rotten piece of fruit from a stall. Understanding now that this is not a place where good things happen. It feels like they get the leftovers from the mainland. I looked around as we got closer to the Chip Shop. 

This was just the beginning of my life here in this new world. What happens next? Well just wait and see? ;-)

That’s it for the Prelude! Just to let you all know that each chapter is gunna be 3 parts each. And oh boy is Chapter 1 gunna be exciting! Hope you all enjoy!

Tag list:

@descendantofthesparrow

(If you wanna be tagged plz let me know and I’ll add you to my list)

[snowfall-fanfictions]

Beware the Frozen Heart Ch. 13- The New Plan

Previous chapter

Ao3 Link

FFN Link

Eryn rethinks his approach to this assassination

Enjoy!

Eryn was taken aback by how such a small town could be considered a “provincial capital.” He sat on the front porch of the inn he and Elsa were staying at the morning after they arrived alone, contently puffing on a pipe as he watched the people pass by. In a matter of minutes, Eryn was certain he had seen every person in Fjellby at least once. He was also taken by surprise at how boring this town was. It felt like most people around here did nothing but wander the streets and discuss trivial things. Eryn was certain that he heard the question, “How’s the family been?” at least fifteen times. He deduced that the fringes of Arendelle were absolutely miserable places to live; they were dreary, miserable, and above all else, monotonous. 

But he wasn’t here for entertainment, he had a job to do. Eryn released a puff of smoke from his mouth, feeling his mind clearing with each puff on the pipe. He had to find a way to kill the queen, get out of town before people realize what happened, and get to Karnisvarne while trying to avoid any soldiers. Poison was officially off the table, not only because he killed his only means of getting anymore poisonous supplies, but the queen was a little more suspicious of any food she didn’t see prepared. There was the old “knife to the throat” routine, quick and noiseless. But would he have time to escape before the body was discovered? He remembered seeing a river nearby, a large and rapid one at that. Maybe he could “accidentally” push her in and let nature take its course.  Eryn let out a discontented sigh, releasing a plume of smoke around his head, clouding his vision. This was supposed to be a simple job: kill the queen, return to Karnisvarne, collect the gold, become a legend…

… If it was a simple job, then why was it so difficult?

It had been over a month since he was hired to kill the queen. Usually, he’d have the target dead within the week. Eryn had killed several people much more difficult than the queen, he fondly remembered impaling an Ottoman general trained in swordfighting, so the fact that he couldn’t take down a woman with no combat experience within a few days, let alone a few weeks,  hurt his pride. All because of that stupid, haughty… kind, beautiful, caring, gentle... Eryn tried shaking these thoughts from his head until-

“Um, Derrik?”

“JESUS CHRIST!” Eryn jumped from his seat, dropping the pipe from his mouth. He snapped his head to find Elsa standing next to him with her arms wrapped around herself. She was wearing a plaid red and white commoner dress, her hair hidden behind the same white bonnet she had brought with her. “Oh, sorry,” Eryn said, “I was thinking that you’d want to rest a bit, we had a long day yesterday.”

“I don’t sleep that much,” Elsa replied, taking a seat next to him, “Lot of long nights as queen of a small country, unfortunately.” “Anna doesn’t help you?”

“She wants to help me, but I…” The queen let out a small sigh, “I feel like I need to do this myself.”

“That… doesn’t sound healthy. Why put all that stress on yourself?”

“Two years ago, I froze the Arenfjord, I ran away from everything, and I nearly killed my own sister. Not only that, but Arendelle… isn’t the strongest nation in the world. A sudden shift in the monarchy will do that to a country. I feel like taking the reins myself would prove that I’m worthy of being a queen.”

“You won’t have to prove yourself if you wind up dead from all this stress, you know. Every great monarch doesn’t throw the weight of the world on their shoulders.”

“Every great monarch isn’t a colossal screw-up either.”

“Elsa,” Eryn placed a hand on her shoulder, staring deep into her sapphire eyes, “I’ve only known you for about a month, and even I can see that you’re the farthest from being ‘a screw-up’ than anyone I’ve ever met. If you feel like you need to prove yourself to the people, you’ve already succeeded. The people of Arendelle adore you, especially in the capital! I’ve never even seen any king or queen mingle with the people like you do. And as for the rest of the world, if they can’t see the dedication and love you have for Arendelle, they can fall into the ocean for all I care. But I cannot stress this enough: don’t push yourself too far. Arendelle still needs you.”

Elsa smiled warmly as she brought her own hand to Eryn’s, causing his heart to race. “Thank you, I-I needed that.” Eryn returned her smile with the same amount of warmth. Guilt soon wormed its way into Eryn’s heart. Elsa poured her heart out to him, and here he was thinking about killing her. Seeing her like this reminded him of his early years, when he was well and truly alone.

“I’m always here… if you need me…” Eryn tried to hide the sadness in his voice. Elsa lifted herself up from the porch and proceeded to walk back into the inn.

“I’ll be taking a nap, then,” she said, “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“You sure you won’t need me for that? In case someone gets a bright idea?”

Elsa let out a small squeak as she was about to walk into the door. “Uh, n-no. It would draw too much attention.”

“Are you sure?” “Positive.”

Eryn let out a small, and slightly disappointed, sigh, “Very well, have a nice nap, then.”

“Thank you,” with that, Elsa walked back into the tavern to her room.

Eryn ran his fingers through his hair as his heart returned to a normal beat. Eryn had been ignoring his feelings for over a month now, but this time, there was no denying it: He had serious feelings for Elsa.

I can’t go through with this, Eryn thought, scrambling for his pipe. She doesn’t deserve this, any of this! He let out a small sigh as he picked up the pipe. It was cracked along the side where it hit the ground. It’s no use, I already took the fool’s money, he won’t be satisfied until she’s dead…

...Or thinks she’s dead. 

Eryn’s face lit up as a perfect idea filled his thoughts. It was a genius plan: return to Arendelle, spread a rumor that the queen was dead, return to Karnisvarne to collect the reward, then lead the guards to the man and arrest him. After that, Eryn would make his escape and never return to Arendelle ever again. It pained him, but it was the best option for Elsa’s safety.

Eryn rose from the porch and hurried back into the inn. As it was early in the morning, few people were up and about. To his left was the fireplace, where the innkeeper, a tall elderly gentleman with a short grey beard and no hair on his head, was busy sweeping around the various chairs that encircled the hearth. Moving past him, Eryn bolted up the stairs and to the left. As he approached his room, he fumbled the key out of his pocket, jammed it into the lock, and quickly darted inside. Across from his bed laid a small wooden desk, with a fresh piece of parchment and an ink well with a quill resting in it. Moving over to the desk, he pulled the quill out of the well and began scribbling out:

Queen is dead Meet in Karnisvarne Don’t draw suspicion

Eryn gave the ink a second to dry before rolling it up and shoving it into his jacket. He felt awful for abandoning Elsa like this, but he knew that with all the guards here would be more than enough to help her.

I hope you can forgive me, Elsa, he thought as he quickly strode out of the room.

XXXXXX

Elsa slammed the door to her room behind her, covering her mouth. She should’ve confessed her feelings right then and there. He was so kind and thoughtful with his words, too. Why didn’t she? Elsa felt incredibly stupid. She untied the bonnet from her head, allowing her blond braid to cascade down her shoulder. Elsa secretly hated that thing. Maybe she had it on too tight or something, but it was starting to give her a migraine. As she ran her fingers through her hair, Elsa pondered how exactly she would tell him. Maybe the two of them could take a short walk around the town, or even find somewhere to eat. She had no idea when the best time would be. This romantic love stuff was better left to Anna. Elsa was secretly impressed at Anna and Kristoff’s relationship, how it looked and felt so natural. Maybe she should wait until this all blew over and then ask Anna.

Elsa walked over to her bed and unceremoniously flopped onto it. Derrik was right, this was the best decision, she thought before dozing off completely.

XXXXXX

“Woah,” Kristoff panted. He was currently sprawled out on the floor, completely exhausted. Anna was right beside him, similarly spent and breathing heavily. Her hair was matted to her head with sweat.

“Told you this was great!” She said, cheeks flushed from adrenaline, “Y’wanna go again?”

“Already? Aren’t you tired?”

“Not at all.”

“What about that meeting today?” “We’ll have time, trust me.”

“...Okay, one more time.”

“You’re the best, honey,” Anna picked up the sword she was using and lifted herself off of the floor of the training grounds. Kristoff did the same as he readied himself for another round. Anna flew at the mountain man, who parried her attacks with ease. Kristoff tried his hand at landing a strike, but was similarly thwarted. 

“Y’know, when you said there was a way for me to make this up, I thought you had something else in mind.”

“Are you gonna talk or are you gonna fight?” Anna twirled around before going back in for another series of blows.

By God, did he love this woman.

XXXXXX

Eryn casually strolled through the streets of Fjellby, avoiding as many guards as possible. It felt like around every corner there were a handful of guards. It didn’t help that there was only one way both in and out of Fjellby. Several people tried to stop him for a quick chat. The people of Fjellby were a social bunch, Eryn thought, mostly likely because they were so isolated. New people must be as rare as unicorns or something around these parts.

As Eryn approached the road out of Fjellby, he noticed a small group of guards converging around the statue in the center. Looking over the men, Eryn stopped for a moment. Among them, a tall man with broad shoulders and a thick red mustache was directing the other guards, and judging from his facial expressions, these men were a bunch of idiots. I-it can’t be Eryn thought, is it? Before Eryn had any chance to react, the large commander shot his head up, making direct eye contact with Eryn. Panicking, Eryn bolted down an alleyway with blazing speed.

“HEY, YOU! STOP RIGHT THERE!”

 He heard the shouting of guards and the shuffling of feet behind him as he ducked in and out of roads. After a few minutes, Eryn was able to catch his breath in behind a group of barrels. Panting heavily, Eryn knew that every guard in Fjellby would be on his tail at this point. Now, there only seemed to be one option he had left.

“Might as well get an earful now,” Eryn mumbled as he pulled the dagger out of its sheath. How was he going to explain all of this to the dagger? Would it just allow him to abandon this contract? It seemed more adamant on getting this kill than before. The idea to abandon it afterwards came into his head, but he decided to wait until he was out of Fjellby to make a final decision.

 He brought the dagger up to his palm but stopped before slicing into his hand. He expected to be greeted by the familiar runes of the blade. But, there was none. The handle wasn’t even the same, it looked more like a modern hunting knife. Eryn racked his memory to where he left the real dagger and where this one came fro-

That’s when Eryn remembered who gave him his knife. Just before he and Elsa left. 

“Olaf found this in your bedroom. Wouldn’t want you to lose it…”

 “BJORGMAN!” Eryn growled. How could he have been so stupid? Of course he didn’t forget the knife, the reindeer fucker took it! How did he get it?! None of that mattered, all he had to do was get back to Arendelle, get his knife back, and kill the son of a-

Eryn found himself hoisted off of the ground and pinned against the cobbled walls of a nearby building. The familiar sight of the commander from the statue greeted him, his eyes narrowing on the man.

“You have a lot of nerve showing your face around here… Eryn.”

[lonelypond]

Moonlight Becomes You: Apocalypse Midnight Dance Party, Ch. 9

Love Live/Love Live Sunshine, NozoEli, NicoMaki, KanaMari, YoshiMaru, 1.8K, 9/?

Summary: Most everyone settles in for a quiet night.

INTERLUDES

Pacing, Nico was frustrated and pacing, reminding herself of Eli on growl prowl as moonrise neared, Nico trying not to just throw herself into a wall to see how it sounded. That wasn’t how Nico coped, no, Nico did practical things, so taking a rag in hand she began to wipe down the counters. After that, the sliding doors, then maybe she would start chopping things for a stew or something. Not borscht though, Nico made a face, tongue out, gagging, even though there wasn’t anyone to amuse or tease. Beets, beets you could have too many of, and cream, cloying, heavy sweet cream...Eli’s new Russian food cravings were having too much influence on Nico’s meal choices. Tonight though, Nico was opting for a less cloggy choice. If Nico was eating alone, a crisp, fresh salad from locally sourced produce was the ticket...just the lightest dressing. She opened a cabinet, small bowl, olive oil, mustard, white wine vinegar, whisk, then take the chives out of the refrigerator and start chopping. Lift the knife, let it fall, get into a nice, non pacing rhythm, ignoring the people who were ignoring her by not blowing up her phone with apology texts, that was the ticket. And then, after the sensible salad, curling up on the sofa to watch K-Pop weekly roundups and eat strawberry gelato. That was the best way to spend an evening. Really it was. Nico knows all. That decided, Nico hummed as she assembled her dinner.

###

Kanan fell back into her couch, sighing. Mari flounced out of the bedroom, in her third outfit of the day, a bright --somehow -- gray sleeveless sweater dress that her hair fell off the shoulders of like the molten gold of the sun rising out of the sea. From her first sight of Mari, Kanan had never not been captivated by how that glow reflected Mari’s sunniness, inhumanly bright and impossibly brattish.

“How much did you scare Eli?” Kanan asked wearily, having developed over many years the dual capacity for enthusiasm and cynicism about the ‘helpful’ wrenches Mari in fix it mode would throw into the lives of their friends and acquaintances.

“Mio cuore, I’m not cruel. I did nothing to your dancer, except trying to get Nozomi to acknowledge the fact that she couldn’t take her eyes off the poor girl. And I can see why.”

“Mari.” Exasperated, Kanan closed her eyes, stretching her arm out along the couch, knowing what would come next. And there it was, the softest touch of feather soft strands, then the weight of Mari’s head against her shoulder.

“Ah, but you are the only beast for me, bella. We have always been linked by the thread of destiny.” Mari whispered against her ear with a touch of lips as soft as the slightest swell of the sea.

Kanan’s laugh was a bark, “No matter how much you gnaw at it.”

“KANAN.” Mari’s shock was genuine as she threw herself back across the couch, hand fluttering to cover her betrayed heart. Mari’s shock was always genuine when Kanan refused to let Mari charm her way out of confrontations.

“So Eli wasn’t crying because of you?” Kanan’s suspicions continued. The memory of Eli’s red rimmed eyes wouldn’t fade.

“No.” Mari’s dramatics were eclipsed by gentle concern.

“I wonder what it’s like to be surprised…” Kanan hesitated, caught by a sudden realization.

“Huh?”

“I always knew who I was.” Kanan reached her hands out for Mari’s, always so warm, always so willing to pull her out of fogs.

“Oh.” Mari frowned, scooting down the couch as Kanan reached out. “it must be terrifying.”

Kanan had watched Eli’s meticulous, unvarying warm up routine before every one of their rehearsals, the dancer slowly progressing through exercises and positions, always at the same slow speed, always in the same order. “Yeah.”

###

Dia was standing catty-corner to the fireplace, staring at the ocean. She’d only seen pictures of the Malibu estate like this, before the beach had been covered and the rock stairs useless at high tide. There were favorite corners she’d rather be tucked into, but Maki hadn’t invited her guests into the downstairs suites. The decorating was so strange anyway, complete absence of any hint of Nico, which made everything seem cold. Dia shivered, accidentally timed to a cough from You, who still persisted in flashing unforgettable legs in very forgettable, should be trashed shorts. Was this California in the early 21st century? Because, Dia decided, it could keep its complete lack of fashion aesthestic, before she wrenched her eyes from You’s tanned legs to the very worried blue eyes watching her.

“Weird for you, huh?” You chuckled.

“Can’t you find clothes?” Dia snapped, turning even further out to sea.

“Uh yeah, sorry about these.” You gestured at herself, “Wasn’t expecting Yoshiko to drop you into my day like that.”

“Is it Yoshiko or Yohane?” Dia wasn’t really curious, but these questions allowed her to loop around any looming embarrassments or admissions.

“Both.” You shrugged. “I’m sure she’ll explain.”

“I’m not sure she’ll have a chance. Why in the world would I…” Dia started, irritated.

“Don’t you want to get back home?” You parried with a shrewd question.

Dia sighed and sat on one of the chairs parallel to the window, pulling a leg up to rest her chin on, “Of course I do. But maybe this is a dream…?”

“Ooohh, I’ve never been in anyone’s dream with lighting like this.” You struck a pose, hands under her chin, fluttering her eyelashes at Dia.

“Silly.” Dia forced herself not to laugh but a corner of a smile snuck out.

“Ah,” You bounced dramatically to the opposite chair, “Your face does relax.”

Dia tossed her hair back, rolling her eyes so as to not encourage this friendliness. “You have a home, right? Go and get some clothes.”

“Your mother will never let me back in.” You stated flatly.

Dia thought for a long moment, then smiled and shrugged.

You groaned and threw her head back, “You’re all so cruel.”

“All right, Watanabe, everyone in the family is taller than you are…” As Maki entered the space with that announcement, You dramatically threw a forearm across her forehead. Completely ignoring her, Maki continued “so nothing is even near your size, but here’s a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. There’s a bathroom that way.” Maki tossed a pile of clothes in You’s direction and thumbed in the direction of the hall behind her. Turning to Dia, Maki handed her a much neater stack, “My mother has some casual clothes that seem like they might suit you. There’s a guest suite down that hall if you want to get changed there.”

Dia stood, her arms full of a fuzzy mint, tan and blue check jacquard sweater and a pair of black knit leggings with small slits at the ankles. Very much what her mama would consider casual wear and a little too relaxed for Dia, but not as much as if Maki had raided her own closet. “Thanks.”

Maki nodded. “The driver’s gone to get food. She’ll be back soon.” Maki glanced around the room, “The fire makes it nice here, but we can set dinner out on the table.”

Dia remembered so many nights, her mothers curled up in each other’s arms on a much pinker couch, staring into the fire as music played.

“That’s fine. I like it here.” Dia hugged the pile of clothes a little closer; at least her gandmother's perfume was familiar, berries and pale flowers and a clear musk, “I am a little cold though.”

“Mama’s got a shirt jacket somewhere.” Maki swivelled, “I’ll find it.”

Dia found herself wishing she’d stayed in the hospital room. This situation, here at home, but everything and everyone just a step not right, was becoming too disconcerting and she could feel not a head but a whole body ache starting. Maki, her eyes so kind, so watchful but without the deep warmth of maternal concern Dia was used to. Maki might not be the most demonstrative of parents, Dia and Ruby had Nico for that, but Dia’s first glance had met those loving eyes and she had drawn comfort from them since. Passionately perceptive, fiercely stubborn, endlessly generous; everything Dia had hoped to grow up to emulate. But here, Dia was a stranger, Maki was preoccupied with other concerns, and puzzlement flashed across amethyst more often than benevolence. It was going to be a full body headache, Dia thought, reaching a hand to rub her eyes, forgetting she had an armful of clothes, her knees suddenly failing, and You was right there, in a ridiculously large white shirt with black ink kanji that slid off her shoulders and sweats she was keeping up with one hand. The other seemed to be keeping Dia up. How silly.

“What did you do?” Maki’s voice sounded distant even as it echoed angrily around the room. Dia tried to blink, but her eyes wouldn’t open, sleep suddenly sounded perfect as she felt herself being eased down to the couch.

“I came back and she was so pale…”

“She said she was cold.”

“Is that a symptom?”

The voice that wasn’t Mama’s, what was her name again, Legs, You, right, Dia rambled to herself, You had squeaked with worry, that was nice but Dia was fine, she didn’t need any help, just a nap.

###

Hanamaru smiled at Yoshiko sprawled gracelessly over a chaise at the back of the bookstore. As soon as the fallen angel had returned to a comfortable place, the time displacement lag took over and Yoshiko had proven how affected by mortal failings she was now. But the snoring was cute, and the way her midnight hair splayed out against the warm red of the chair reminded Hanamaru of nights when her wife had had some energy left and Hanamaru could remind her of heavenly pleasures other than the celestial.

With a giggle, followed by a sigh, Hanamaru plugged in the refilled electric kettle. No sense remembering those scenes, until Yoshiko had a chance to recuperate. And then, there would probably still be issues to sort out related to the displaced Dia before they truly had time to themselves again

How could Hanamaru help? Too used to Yoshiko’s refusal to admit she needed assistance, Hanamaru realized this, while Yoshiko was safe in a restful oblivion, was the perfect time to do her own research. Perhaps there were some answers to be found in the future. As the tea kettle bubbled, a bright blue light flashing in the darkened room, Hanamaru moved to the locked cabinet, hidden in a jumble of seemingly random bookshelves. Time for her to consult the Book Of Riko, to see if prophecy held any answers someone less impulsive than Yoshiko could puzzle out.

A/N: Howdy.Cats and furniture have been moved; still trying to get back into some form of routine. How's your October? Any Halloween plans? We're doing scary stories and snacks (probably not scary) by fireside next weekend for our next theatrical adventure. I might read some bits of Dracula. 'Tis the season ; )

[chloe-spade]

iZombie Au: Sander Sides

You think your life would harder when you become an adult or get a job you hated the most?

The day my life went...south..for me and for everyone around me.

The day of a The Lake Washington Massacre...

I was a very known surgeon, doctor and nurse. I was very known for it.

Oh my name? My name is Virgil Dusk, a former loved doctor and a loving boyfriend to fiance to....

A brain-eating zombie....

"Sir?"

Virgil looked up at the saleswomen.

"Oh...sorry."Virgil muttered taking the purple die from the women's hand and quickly zoomed away, eyes avoiding every person who walked past him.

Virgil Dusk

28 years old

Has been a Zombie for 4 years straight

He still remembered that day like it was yesterday.

*4 years ago*

"Seeya Virge!"Some co-workers shouted as they aproched their cars.

"Hello, my dear chemically imbalance romance~!"A voice came in front of Virgil.

His fiance, Roman Delightful, his high school sweetheart to the end.

Virgil jumped and laughs."Roman!"

Roman held Virgil in his arms and gave him a tender kiss.

Virgil giggles and pushes him away."Ok,Ok! Are you ready for our date night."

"You bet."

"Hey, Virge! Wanna go to this sweet boat party?" Said Harold Johnson, Virge's co-worker, and a total party animal.

"Seriously? Uh...I'm not much of a party person let alone be being a extrovert in general..that's Roman."

"I think it's a great idea to celebrate your promotion of this amazing job."

Virgil sigh in defeat and kisses Roman's cheek."Wait for me when I get back?"

"Of course."

Virgil Smiles and follows Harold to the car and went off to the boat party.

But it wasn't what Virgil expected.

Virgil stared down at his cup of tea as he look at guys chugging on a weird drink and their eyes turns a deep red and growls left their mouths.

Virgil gasp and trembled as he saw the horrifying imagery as people's skulls opens ans brains were eaten.

Virgil ran off the boat ignoring his badly scratched arm and jumped into the ocean like it was no tomorrow for him.

As Virgil's eyes open, he could only see yellow and he burst his open his bag he was surprisingly in and coughs up the water he gulped.

He looked around and see a scared ambulance men running as fast as he could.

Once I woke up...I suddenly felt the urge to eat... brains....

It was an unexpected urge...but I felt like I needed it...more then anything..

*Now*

Virgil gets up from his bed and groans as the his night was another sleepless one.

He gets up to change to a nice black buttoned shirt and his normal black and purple knitted jacket, grabbing his headphones and phone and trotted to the kitchen, greetings by an unexpected hug.

"Oh, Virgil, why you look...oddly cute as ever." Mrs. Dusk cooed."And I like the purple aesthetic you did with your hair. It's worked."

Virgil cracked info a small smile.

"Hey, kiddo!" greeted his roommate and bestie since high school, Patton.

Patton

31 years old

Virgil's bestest friend/roommate

"Hey, Pat."He said with a smile.

Patton is unaware of Virgil's newly zombie habits, and Virgil prefers to keep it that way cause how fragile Patton is.

"Oh, got to get to work. Also, make sure to pick up my costume for fhd Halloween expo tonight, I'd hate to be there without a costume.

"I'm just happy that you're participating."Thomas, Virgil's younger brother, said with his usual goofy smiles that Virge loved.

"I'm glad to be with the-!?"

"There for the family?"

Virgil Blushes and looks up to see Roman."Come on, it'll at least help us to get what we lost?"

Virgil chuckles."Sure thing."

Roman Delightful

30 years old

Virgil's ex-fiance to current boyfriend.

It's weird to reunite a spark with Roman after I broke things off our of fear but he was to determined to get me back so I let him have a second chance so he won't stop nagging me..

"But seriously, I need to get to work.", Virgil said, leaving the house and walks to the Police Department at the 6th floor at the city's morgue.

"You're lucky to be on time, Virgil."Said a harsh gone, placing the body on the table.

"Nice to see you too, Logan."

Logan Smith

Age 37

Virgil's boss and an extremely smart man

Virgil chuckles and puts in his labcoat and walks down.

"I am sorry for that tone but I am going to be a little more softer."

Virgil worked in Medical PhD for the last 2 years so he can the brains to eat.

"Hey, we just got a body!"Said the cops.

"Duty calls." Virgil shrugs and walks, along with Logan to the park where a women was taken to the hospital.

"Ohh...my god, she's smells..." Virgil gagged and looks away.

"Melissa Margolis, age 55, married with two kids, one's moved away to Canada for college and one is a high school student, known for her smart personality. She's a so called soccer mom.."

"According to her completion, she has been dead for at least 10 hours before someone discovering her inside that Roseburg bush."

"Huh.."

"It's a rare bush."

"She loves roses and planted this specific one here."Said Mr. Margolis."This women found her."

Virgil and Logan starred at the women and gasp.

"Juliet Farin...no thank you."

"We have a no-such-luck relationship.."

Virgil scoffed."The thing is that she tried to ruin me and my boyfriend's relationship..when we got back together, and she went crazy on me."

Urusla sighs."Hope your physic powers help you."

*back in the morgue*

"I'm not staying she had the right idea...she just showed a bit craziness."

"Why is she specifically after you?"Urusla asked

Urusla

29 years old

Homicide officer for 5 years.

When I broke things off with Roman, she hooked up with him and used him for money basically. The reason she broke things off with him was because the stuff Roman bought were my standard of favorite things. She didn't like it. And broke up with him and now he's back with me and she hates it.

"Cheers for a trying soccer mom..and may the odds of losing my voice in my favor.." Virgil prayed and took a bit of his brain egg omulet.

"Didn't think you pray of being a mom.."

"That's Patton's job."

"True."

As soon as I gulped it down i felt an urge to run to Roman and give him a big hug and kiss for missing him to much. She's a perfect wife too.

*Next day*

"So, where were you around 2:30 to 3:00."Urusla asked Keith Margolis, hef husband who was sitting next to the table in front of them.

"At work, I usually work at 6am to 7:45pm."

"Poor thing...you must be very exhausted."Virgil whines, his hands trembling.

She has major anxiety... I can go with this

"That's what Melissa would say, always feel bad for me at every turn. Her anxiety was pretty bad, it wasn't like a disorder or anything it just...it can lead to a certain paranoia phase she would have..it would annoy a few, like Hailey, our daughter before she left fof college, but soon we got used to it cause we love her."

Urusla groans."So she was very heighted?"

"Yes, very so."

The conversation was interuppted by a huge bang by a accidental coffee spillage to the wall.

That's when Virgil's first vision in this brain started.

*The Vision*

Keith angry banged the table pointing his finger at Melissa.

"If this doesn't end, I can and I will go back to my mistress to get away from you!!"

*vision ends*

Virgil gasp as he looks around.

"You had a mistress?"

Kieth stopped his talking immediately.

"Did you or did you not?" Virgil ordered angrily.

"Yes! I did have a mistress, it was because I got so tired of her worry I left the house. And met Isabel."

"Can we call her in?"Urusla asked, her arms folding."You got your alibi."

A few minutes, Isabel walked in to the room, and sat down, glaring at Virgil."I heard about you, boyfriend kisser."

"You accidentally kiss a guy in school and you're new name is "Boyfriend Kisser"..."Virgil sighed.

"Where were you at the time at the murder."

"Talking to Hailey, she was visiting my place since we had a... special bond...Hailey never got along with Melissa, she would tell me, Melissa was a very strict mom, and never did things that she didn't approve of Hailey of doing. That was unfair cause when Jennifer was born, she let her do anything she wanted. Because Jennifer was a sporty type like her, adventurous, snarky too. So Hailey was glad to get out of state to college."

"So you and Hailey both can prove it."

"Yes."

Virgil looked to see Logan mentioning him to leave the room.

Virgil got up and went to Logan.

"I found something... Intriguing in her jacket. Divorce papers, 2 weeks delivered before the murder."

"So Keith was planning to divorce her anyway."

"Yes, and I also found out that they got married in October 29, somewhere in the 1998s, And look is born after."

"Hailey Margolis, born November 5th, 1998."

"So?"

"In your terms, you might say, she 'baby-trapped' him."

"And probably did it again when it came to Jennifer. She was processive of him.."

"He had motive." Urusla said behind them."If she did those things, that means..."

"There's more."Logan added."Melissa was granted 1,500,000 grand from him. Keith is wealthy, from a wealthy background so it's no surprise that..."

"A gold-digger?"Patton interuppted."You forgot your lunch, Logan."

"I told you, you don't have to, Pat."

"Well I wanted to."

*In a vision*

Hailey looked up from her book in an angry matter."What if you wanted to!? You realized you out dad in a lot of misery! He had to drop everything cause of us!"

*Vision ends*

"She wanted to do that. She wanted to baby trap Keith...and that causes him to go angry and find a witness."

"Isabel mentioned that her and Keith met on January, little more than 5 month ago. And according to her apparence, she's pregnancy. Turns out he was planning to raise the baby with her and leave the family."

"So she sent the divorce papers but got him back."

*Hailey's interrogation*

"Isabel said you were with her for the last few hours of your mother's murder."

"I was. I was overly excited to be her new daughter since Dad found the divorce papers. That's when we got a call from Jennifer saying that we both rot in hell."

"So Jennifer hated Isabel."

"Dearly with all her heart. She always says that Isabel ruined the family, but in reality, it was mom. She baby trapped him with me and his life was screwed."

"And when was this phone call?"

"Around 2:54 to 3:00, she kept ranting."

"The murder weapon wasn't present. She was poisoned." Logan said, from behind Virgil.

"We couldn't identity it. But we knew it was dangerous and the name is so Russian I can't even say it. But it was used for tea and other liquids."

"Isabel did used to work at a factory, for poisoning goods. She stopped once she became Pregnant..."

"It was a gift. So I accepted it and then one day I found it missing. Both Jennifer and Hailey were with me but Keith payed a visit and ..."

"Hs stole it and he used it on her coffee...she drinks it around 3:00, her coffee break.."

*The final interrogation*

"So, it wasn't easy to crack."

"It's was so."Virgil said, standing up."You stole Isabel's poison from her place and used it on her coffee, and then you gave it to her and took her to the park and saw her faint down as she drink her whole coffee, organs and brain stopped working and she was dead. This was so you didn't have to pay her for child support and the funds you owe her after the divorce."

"Exactly. She baby trapped me twice and you think I was gonna let that slide?! She ruined my life and my family's reputation as a whole cause she wanted me all to herself."

"Keith Margolis, you have the right to remain silent, anything you or say will be against you in court."

Something sparked inside me when I was said those words. It reminded me of me...when I was with Roman. I did kiss him accidentally but it wasn't a regret, like how Melissa fooled her husband. It was a need, but needs can be poisoning and some lead to unsatisfactory in a person. But there's was one thing I didn't regret? Going to that boat party. If I haven't gone, I would never learn anything about myself with the help of the brains I have eaten, I would never face myself to tell Logan about me being a zombie. And now I'm back to be with Roman again....so... somethings you may regret could be things you'd never regret cause who knows what impact it has on your life. Good or bad....

Virgil came home to find Roman.

"Welcome back."Roman greeted.

"Hey, can we talk...I've been thinking about...us, we've drifted since that boat party and now we're back together...so I don't regret being with you again cause it opens my eyes for the past year of us being together...it made me miss out on the things we...loved .. about each other and..."Virgil's voice started to break and Roman pulled him into a tight hug.

"I know you do...but since we dated... And now we're back to were we are..and now I've decided...to.."Roman picked out Virgil's old wedding ring out of his pocket."Thank we try again...for marriage?"

Virgil's tears couldn't stop rolling down and nods."Of course...I'd regret it if I did say no,.... I love you so much."

Roman pulls Virgil into a warm embrace and kisses his forehead and said,"No matter who you are, Zombie or human..I will love you no matter what..."

This took 5 hours....but I'm glad I did it!...but ouch..

But enjoy this little segment to my favorite show ever.

(if you wanna watch it, it's on Netflix)

[rufousnmacska]

Goodbye and Hello - 1

I’m still bitter we didn’t get a proper manorian goodbye in Kingdom of Ash. So here’s my attempt. KoA spoilers!

Tagging @itach-i and @nestasbucket. If you’d like to be tagged in the next few parts, let me know!

fanfic master list (including the link to my fics on AO3, under the same username)

**********

Part One

I Wish...

Laughter and music filled the great hall as everyone gathered for their final night together. All the armies, all the healers, all the witches planned to leave Orynth tomorrow.

Manon stared at her plate, trying to convince herself to eat what was on it. A round of applause broke out and she looked up to see a crowd gathering at the far end of the room. A group of young witches walked past her, hurrying to join the dancing. As the clapping took on fast tempo, Manon’s attention returned to her food.

The initial burst of joy that had accompanied the tiny purple flower brought from the Wastes had dissipated over the past weeks. The reality of what it meant slowly settled like a lead weight in her chest. Seeing Ironteeth and Crochan witches looking forward to the future helped to buoy her mood sometimes. But it couldn’t erase the truth that none of them really knew what the future held in the Wastes. And it couldn’t fill the hollowness that continued to grow inside her.

Her eyes flitted across the room, never lingering very long on anyone or anything. The itch to fly was beginning to prickle under her skin. She knew Glennis watched, so Manon ate a few bites, then stood to leave, claiming she had to pack.

It wasn’t a lie exactly, as she did need to gather her things. But she also needed to get out of here. The witches at her table accepted the excuse without so much as a glance, and Manon felt a sharp pang of grief at the thought that the Thirteen would have seen right through it. Asterin would have gone along to make sure she actually did pack, Sorrel and Vesta following close behind.

As she walked through the maze of hallways, she could almost feel Asterin trailing her to the room she’d been sharing with Dorian.

Most nights she ended up in the aerie, but she usually began them here. He never stopped her going, even when she accidentally woke him. She had not mentioned the Thirteen to him, to anyone, since those moments after the final battle. He knew why she was pulled to the balcony to stare across the plain with Abraxos. He’d offered to come with her once, and when she’d hesitated, he’d kissed her forehead and said, “Just ask if you ever change your mind.”

When she opened the door, his scent wrapped around her, and she immediately set to gathering her things. This was going to be hard enough without drawing it out, she might as well get it over with. A humorless laugh escaped her as Manon better understood why Dorian had left without saying goodbye all those weeks ago.

“What’s so funny?”

She whirled to find him closing the door. She’d been so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed he’d followed her here.

“You should be back in the hall. Enjoying the celebration with your friends,” she said, ignoring his question.

His eyes bore into her, and she almost looked away. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

She went back to stuffing clothing into her bags. She didn’t want to do this. Didn’t know how to do this.

Without a word, Dorian walked over and took the shirt from her hands. Setting it aside, he gently turned her to face him. Manon didn’t think she could look at him, so she stared straight ahead, focusing on the triangle of bare skin where his collar hung open.

The pale band around his neck called to her, and she brushed her fingers along it. The sound of his heartbeat quickened and she felt the heat rise in his skin. For a moment, she considered not stopping. Considered taking him to bed to distract them both from whatever conversation he seemed intent on having tonight. And what was coming tomorrow.

But the idea seemed like a coward’s way out, and she was not a coward. Even if fear lined most of her thoughts these days.

She’d admitted her fears to him once before, and he had not judged her. There was no one else left that she trusted this much, no one she’d allow to see her this vulnerable.

As before, he knew what was wrong, at least the shape of it. But instead of confronting her, he’d been quiet and patient and... there. Always there. Nothing more, unless she’d asked.

Dropping her fingers from his neck, she took a breath and said simply, “I’m afraid.”

Dorian pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder. “Of what?” he asked, his hand stroking her back.

His touch felt so good, the pressure easing her tense muscles, and she relaxed into him. “I don’t know how to do this without them.”

The truth had been building in her for days. Confessing part of it lightened the heaviness inside her, just a little. So, she went on. “I don’t know if I ever truly believed we’d go home. Not until recently. And now. To face it without them...” She trailed off. As he squeezed her tighter, she said, “I feel so alone.”

Not once had Manon truly considered a future without all of the Thirteen. A future where they were gone and she was left to carry on. Even the prospect of being queen, a duty she’d now fully assumed, had never altered that image. If they weren’t there, she wouldn’t be either.

Dorian pulled away, steadying her with his hands on her shoulders. “You are not alone, Manon. They can never be replaced. But don’t ever think you’re alone. You have friends and family who care about you.” Moments passed in silence until finally, his voice roughened with emotion, he said, “I care about you.”

He’d said it before. But there was something in the words this time that felt different. A weight that had been lacking. The weight of a promise.

Manon slowly lifted her head to meet his gaze.

***

The dread of saying goodbye had made Dorian’s heart feel more and more fragile with each passing day. Now, he thought it might actually shatter.

It wasn’t lost on him that Manon couldn’t even say their names. No matter what mask she’d worn in front of the others, he saw the truth of what lay beneath.

The Thirteen were her family. Her entire family. And they were all gone. Glennis and her Crochan cousins might fill in that void someday, but it would take time. If it happened at all.

In a past life, Dorian would have tried distracting her with pleasurable touches or pretty words. In this life, had she been anyone else, he probably would have done just that. But Manon was not anyone.

Yet, if he spoke the words he truly wanted to say, whose mind would it ease? Likely not hers, as it would only overwhelm her. But his self control faltered as he felt the pain and sorrow emanating from her, as if his magic could sense it.

“I care about you,” he rasped. With each word, a spark of warm magic flowed from his hands into her. That spark lit something in her, making her eyes glow like flames as they met his.

“What do you want Dorian?” she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

She’d asked that of him days ago. But this time, it was an entirely different question. The desperation to answer with the truth, with the words he’d kept from her before - You, all of you - almost won out.

Almost.

It would be too much for her right now, he reasoned, an extra burden she didn’t need to carry. Especially with their goodbye growing closer with each minute.

“I want…” he started, then stopped. If he couldn’t tell her everything, he could at least give her a glimpse into what he felt.

Dorian took her hand in his, and they both watched as his thumb glided back and forth over her fingers. “I wish we could take off on Abraxos and fly around the world,” he said. “Not as a king and queen. Just a man and a witch. No crowns, no responsibilities.”

Manon’s eyebrow quirked in mild amusement and Dorian took it as a sign to continue.

“We can go wherever we want. East to Wendlyn, or the fabled lands across the western ocean. North to the frozen wastes, then to the Southern Continent. I can visit libraries and book shops and you...” he paused, thinking.

A wry, expectant expression crossed her face and he almost laughed.

“You can visit blacksmiths for new and exotic weaponry. When we run out of money for new books and daggers, you can teach girls how to fight while I perform magic tricks and shape shifting for crowds. I will make you breakfast in bed each morning.” He gave her a knowing look. “And you can shut me up each night.”

Manon’s smiles had been given sparingly before the war, yet he’d still come to think of himself as an expert on them. The smile she rewarded him with now, the first he’d seen since they’d reunited, was soft and brief and breathtakingly beautiful.

“I asked what you want, not what you wish,” she admonished with a touch of teasing.

Without thinking, he asked, “Can’t it be both?” When she didn’t answer, he added, “I want whatever you choose to offer.”

Manon closed her eyes, all traces of her smile gone. No doubt she was remembering when she’d first spoken those words to him, on a ship just off the Eyllwe coast. It felt like lifetimes ago, but it had been little more than a few months.

Or, he realized, perhaps she was thinking of a different offer she’d made more recently, in a tent at the edge of the White Fangs. One he’d abandoned rather than answer. He knew that if he had, if he’d faced the same choice as Gavin, then the keys, the gate, this war... all of it would have ended much differently. He told himself he didn’t regret it, and perhaps he didn’t. But it haunted him nonetheless.

She said nothing, and turned away again to resume her packing.

Mentally kicking himself, he silently watched her move around the room. She didn’t have much to take with her, and he had no idea what had been done with the Thirteen’s things. It was likely that their weapons and supplies had been redistributed as the siege had dragged on.

When Manon was done, she stopped at the makeshift bed, little more than a pile of hay covered with blankets. Without looking at him, she said, “I wish we didn’t have to leave tomorrow.”

Any remaining will power he had left dissolved in that moment, and Dorian walked to her side. “I wish for that too, witchling. More than anything.” She shifted towards him and he pulled her into a hug. “Whatever happens, you will not be alone."

The embrace lasted forever and no time at all, until she broke away and took a half step back. Tentatively, not bothering to hide her shaking, she took his hand and placed it over her heart. "You will always be with me.”

Dorian smiled, amazed. He was always amazed by her.

“And you will always be with me.” He clasped her hand against his own heart, another wave of his magic pulsing into her.

***

Promise again laced his words, and the force of it settled within her chest. Just as his touch had done, the soft smile he gave her now seemed to pierce through her sadness.

Manon sat down on the bed, pulling him with her. Curled into his arms, she pressed her ear to his chest and listened to the strong, even rhythm. She’d expected a night of little rest, but instead, Dorian held her tightly, giving her occasional kisses until she fell asleep.

Waking well before the first rays of dawn, she tried not to disturb him when she rose to get dressed. Dorian’s eyes opened the instant she sat up and he watched silently as she began to strap on her sword and daggers.

“Are you planning to sleep in?” She’d meant it to sound light and joking, but it was overshadowed by the farewell they could no longer put off.

“You want me to go up to the aerie with you?” He tossed the blankets aside and stood, quickly throwing on clothes. “I thought you’d want to say goodbye here,” he offered as explanation.

I don’t want to say it at all, she thought, but said nothing.

A sharp knock on the door announced it was time, and she scanned the room once again before her eyes landed on him. “Ready?”

He opened his mouth, and for a second she thought he might actually say no. Instead, he nervously ran his fingers through his hair and nodded once. When he held his hand out for her, she didn’t hesitate.

They walked slowly to the castle’s uppermost balcony that had been serving as the wyvern aerie. Dorian’s hand was like a vise and Manon wondered whose trembling the tight grip was meant to quell.

When they reached the final door leading them outside, he stopped short and spun her around to face him. “The Ferian Gap.”

It wasn’t a question but he seemed to need an answer, so she said, “Yes.” He relaxed a bit, and she added, “I don’t know how long before I can get away."

With a tight smile, he cupped her face in his hands. “I know. We can decide on a time later. I just...” He blinked rapidly, but it didn’t lessen the bright sheen of moisture in his eyes.

Manon raised up onto her toes and kissed him. “I know,” she said into his lips. He dropped his arms around her waist and lifted her up against him. Sliding her arms around his neck, she held on as if her life depended on it. Just as he was holding her.

***

Dorian tucked her braid into the fur collar of her cloak and they walked outside to where the others were waiting. As soon as their queen appeared, shouts to prepare for flight rang through the dark, frigid air.

He stayed with her until she checked all the harnesses on Abraxos, never taking his eyes off her as she climbed up into the saddle. Every nerve in his body wanted to leap up there with her, every ounce of his magic strained to touch her. But he stepped back, just far enough to be outside the reach of Abraxos’s wings.

When she was settled and strapped in, and there were no more excuses to delay, Manon placed her hand on her heart and said, “Goodbye, princeling.”

Dorian touched his own chest and said, “Goodbye, witchling.” He forced himself to give her a lighthearted wink. “For now.”

A twitch of a smile. “For now,” she agreed.

Before he could take another breath, Abraxos was at the drop-off overlooking the city far below. His booming wings flapped once, twice, and then they were airborne. On brooms and wyverns, hundreds of witches took to the sky, a few falling into formation around their queen with the rest streaming behind.

He stayed, watching as the large host grew small on the horizon, where the first rays of morning were breaking over the mountains. The sunlight caught a shining wing that flashed silver, just for an instant. And then, it was gone.

Long after they disappeared and he could no longer stand the cold, Dorian turned and went inside.

***

Manon felt Dorian’s magic surround her and Abraxos the moment they’d taken off, and she was surprised by how long it stayed with them. Its warmth soothed them as they passed over the blast site that was the focus of their nightly vigils. When the power began to flicker, like a candle being blown out, she glanced over her shoulder, unable to make him out as anything more than a dark figure on the highest balcony.

And then, it was gone. They’d flown past the reach of his magic. The freezing air bit into her now unshielded skin and Abraxos released a melancholy whine.

A lifetime of habit had Manon twisting around in her saddle, an order for Asterin already forming on her lips. When unfamiliar witches stared back at her, she said nothing and faced forward again.

The reminder hit her as it always did, like a physical blow. Like the punch to her gut that had left her behind, and left her alone.

To be continued...

[gut-shabbos-sluts]

Me And My Friends Are Lonely: a 3 minute song about the most stressful 48 hours

We all know and love this song from Caleb’s playlist, but really, there’s no given moment where it doesn’t apply to at least half the Mighty Nein. And we really get to see that with the high speed and stakes of the Assarius arc.

(lyrics and meta under the cut)

I can't open up to you Me and my friends are lonely I don't know what to do I always figured I'd be the one to die alone

I cope smothered in smoke Deep high, drape my soul in I know things that you don't I've met murdering folk And they took one of our own They took our innocent home

CHORUS

So is there any lesson in confessing that you posted up Like Jesus on the corner selling baggies full of blessing? Is it stressing all the things that you have morally accepted? Is it vexing wearing clothes that you have bled in?

Picture perfect victim, overwhelmed and so sadistic I was looking for a purpose, what a chance you had some with you On the street when I forgot, the city breathes when I do not If I leave it does not stop here, no

So is there any treason in the tricky little price I pay? Oh is there any treason in the tricky little price I pay?

CHORUS I always figured that I'd be the one to die alone

“Me and my friends are lonely.” The Nein is a unit, sure, but they’re pulling away from each other, too. Caleb with his anger and his impulsive* choices, Yasha with her quiet, Beau meeting up with Dairon, and Fjord falling headfirst into potential role models everywhere they go, they’re all isolating themselves, even within their closeness. They’re lonely as a unit, but they’re also alone with themselves. *I loved the choice and think it was ultimately correct, but that doesn’t make it less impulsive.

“I can’t open up to you.” Stating that they’re lonely within themselves is why they can’t do this. Why not sit and talk out the death of one of your members, and the charm on the other? Real world logistics aside, it’s because running off to the next mission hurts a lot less than baring yourself to people you only partially feel a part of. If they keep forging themselves through fire, maybe they’ll be able to open up to each other. Or at least they think that.

“I always figured I’d be the one to die alone.” Well, that’s Caleb’s M.O., sure, but Beau tanking a demon while her friends are dropping like flies around her also this vibe. Not to mention Caduceus, who was left to guard the Blooming Grove by himself, who hadn’t had regular company for years before they showed up, not dying alone. It was an accidental death, but he was brought back surrounded by friends, and with a reminder that he is not alone and is on the right path.

“I know things that you don’t/ I’ve met murdering folk.” Beau, telling Dairon that her biases are a block for her greater mission. She’s met so many types of people, both in and out of the Nein, that taught her things about herself, and about cruelty, that she’d never known before.

“They took one of our own.” Obviously Nott and Yeza, the driving force behind this arc. But it’s also every plea to the charmed members to snap out of it. It’s Yasha’s constant apologies.

“So is there any lesson in confessing?” This stands to be seen after the two weeks, but that’s not the only confession. There’s giving up an Empire spy, there’s talking about deep feelings, there’s the slew of feelings Jester felt finally meeting another follower. They never know what they're going to tell anyone, or what it's worth to them of they try.

"Is it stressing all the things that you have morally accepted?" Beau and Caleb's barely disguised anger and frustration at the ‘slave’ decision and enaction. The conflict around Dairon. Fjord realizing that he can't rely on strangers for an example of his race. Giving up the dodecahedron. Going to an 'enemy' country during war is morally ambiguous, and so are the Nein, and it's all weighing down on them, not that they'd tell each other.

"Picture perfect victim, overwhelmed and so sadistic." This is Nott, to a T. She's a perfect fit in the City of Beasts, she's a victim of the Empire several times over. And she's not handling either well. She's drinking again, she accidentally killed a teammate, she isn't thinking before she speaks. She has every right to be leading the speaking charge on her arc, but it's causing her pain with every word. Sam spent the entire episode fiddling with the dodecahedron. Nott isn't okay.

"I was looking for a purpose, what a chance you had some with you." This arc is about the Nein finding a purpose as a group, more than the ocean or Shady Creek. This is their family bonding moment. Even more so than the general sense, this is Beau telling the gnoll that she follows Jester wherever she goes. It might not be because of the Traveler, but they follow each other, no questions asked. They pull each other up. The Mighty Nein is each other's purpose, even with their own machinations on the side.

"If I leave it does not stop here, no." They're in too deep. "Why don't we go find the third seal and release Uk'otoa while we're at it," Travis jokes, but he's not off. They're alone, they don't know how to be honest with each other, and they've set too many wheels in motion to back out, and almost too many to change how they're doing it.

"Is there any treason in the tricky little price I pay?" Literal treason by Beau and Caleb aside, who are they betraying by going forward? What is the real price of their actions? Can they never go back, or will their absence never be missed because of their studious avoidance of Empire higher-ups? How many favors can they now claim from the Bright Queen? They paid a steep price to get where they were, almost lost it all, and then upped the ante once again at the last second. Whatever prices they were planning on paying, for Yeza and down the line, are changed now.

And again, they're still lonely. They found new allies, deepened their connections with each other, but they're still alone.