#realistic yb

[yandere-to-express]

This bottom one a gorgeous work of a real life artist l just put here for realistic human yb chocoline_art

This is one down here is neizvestny-nz

[y0urblogg3r]

Salutations!

I believe I should create a proper introductions.

Call me "YB" or any nickname of your choice. Just.. not my real name of course. (Like any of you know it.)

- This IS a roleplay account, just not a "flirty one" persay? Just dont expect astrisks and tildes if thats what youre hoping for :))

(just know im realistic, but not in the way youd like..)

I don't have much else to say other than PLEASE interact, ask me things! Its the main reason Im on here! :)

[abnormalfxiry]

Ranking VN men on how we’d get along irl

I love my visual novel men, but would we ACTUALLY get along if they were real? Heavily inspired by this post !

Cove Holden (olb&a): We absolutely WOULD get along irl. I think it would be me having the biggest crush on him but nothing would ever come of it

Nick (swwsdj): I think we would! You don’t get to see him too much in the demo, but based off the small interaction I think we definitely would get along fine

Shaun (swwsdj): He probably should be above Nick, but we 100% would be the best of friends. So many horror movie marathons.

Baxter Ward (olb&a): Now I love Baxter with all my heart but I think I would think he hates me, not saying he actually would but my internalized problems would make me believe he does. He’s an absolute doll though I would love him a lot.

Derek (olb&a): He’s sweet, but I don’t think we’d really be friends. Not a lot in common and I don’t think there would even be anything romantic between us either.

Ian (swwsdj): He would blow up my phone too much. He would be blocked

Jack (swwsdj): He’s a sweetheart yes, but he’s a ghost. He would scare me SO much. I also hate being pressured into relationships and I know that’s what would happen.

Friend (stnaf?): I’d put him higher, but he is a yandere so I feel like that’s an automatic lower rank. I do love him though, and I feel like if I were to comply I would be okay.

Ren/Redacted (14dwy): I so wanna put him up higher because I am nothing but a simp, but realistically I would be very creeped out more than I would be flattered. Like I would definitely TRY things with him, but as we know it wouldn’t end that well.

Adam (Y&H): Absolutely up my ally appearance wise, but no we would not get along irl. He literally stabs you in the shoulder in the game.

Peter (yb): He would kidnap me

John Doe: He scares me.

[lovefrombegonia]

My complicated feelings towards a post I once read: "Painter of the Night is more problematic than Killing Stalking"

[THESE ARE ALL MY PERSONAL OPINIONS]

You know I have been thinking about this one post I saw either in Tumblr or Twitter or maybe even Somerton dude said that on his POTN video. In short, I don't remember where...but the thought kinda keeps popping up. The post said that POTN is actually more problematic than Killing Stalking because POTN romanticizes abuse and rape by making the characters actually fall in love while KS didn't do that. In the latter both the leads die but in the former, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

Now, my initial thoughts were...anger. LOL I hated this take because...well, I LOVE painter of the night. I have read it so many times. I can't comment on KS because I never finished it. I hated Sangwoo from the beginning. And Yoon Bum was just annoying tf outta me. But now that I let the post marinate in my brain juices....I actually...kinda agree (???) with this post....I think?? When you really think about it, even though I haven't finished KS, I do KNOW the characters die. Like, objectively that's a way less problematic message. Yeah, if you fall for a serial killer, you die. But also...I don't think POTN can be one-to-one compared to KS. They fall under the same umbrella term. I get why one would compare. The characters have similar structural design (although I never thought of comparing), both the MLs were violent and sexually abusive to the MCs, and the MCs were basically kidnapped and held captive by the MLs. But the way the story progressed in very different imo. KS leans more into criminal, serial killer aspect, more psychological while POTN is more...idk I would say personal drama, classism, forbidden love. They are very different stories and so, to me, one should expect very different endings to them. KS is more realistic and despairing while POTN is more dark fairy tale-ish, more romantic, more character driven rather than plot driven. A way darker version of beauty and the beast kind of storyline.

Regardless, I guess, you can still say POTN is more problematic than KS in the pov of how the story could influence its readers. I...I still grapple with the idea tho. I don't think I agree...but I get it. My own bias contributes greatly to it, no doubt. I still think it's an interesting idea. But still....as I said, I haven't read KS completely (no plans to do so too), so, I can't say much on how SW and YB relationship is. I know enough about KS to see why the og poster would think the way they do.

[proxylynn]

https://www.tumblr.com/aspaceformbf/750442234705543168/background-source-ybs-face-is-from-y0urb0yfriend

Total respect to the blog owner..

But I find it pretty amusing how we're able to remove Peter's head from his original body and simply attach it to any type of realistic body without much context. It's a hilarious juxtaposition and always results in some pretty weird combinations that make me chuckle!

[What do you mean? All I see is Peter.]

lol

{They do amazing stuff. Shout out to @aspaceformbf}

[notoriousbeb]

Have you seen this reading?

https://youtu.be/nOyAlnS77RQ?feature=shared

Hi, anon! I had not. So, thanks so much for sharing!

Here are my highlights from this Harry Styles vs. Taylor Swift energy reading:

Reader is picking up that their friendship needs a bit of rejuvenation.

Taylor is happy with the state of her love life. She’s happy with the choice she made, and now she wants to just have some fun.

Harry is hungry for something—like needs some sort of fulfillment. There’s some sort of unhappiness with him. He may need to release something (loneliness, negativity?) He could be reflecting a lot on the past. Reader feels like there’s something negative he needs to release in order for the sun to shine again. He wants to laugh and smile again. His love life is dragging him down.

The energy of his current love life is poor (☹️).

The nature of Harry and Taylor’s current connection is friendship with flirty energy. Nothing too serious. Taylor is withdrawn right now, more open to passion than emotion (booty calls), and there’s inconsistency in their connection.

Harry might be doing something or something’s that aren’t healthy. Like drinking too much or not eating well. He’s very unfocused or careless right now. (I mean, maybe the man is taking a bit of a well-deserved treat-yourself rest. Eat them donuts, baby).

There’s a current love connection with a cancer (Taylor Russell is a cancer).

However, there’s something coming up about a reunion with a romance that Harry either wants or will be happening in the future. Harry is very enthusiastic about this reunion.

But in order for this reunion to work, he needs a new approach to an old problem. Success with this reunion will require having good l character and solving some old issues in a more realistic way—being very steady and smart this time around.

Reader sees an earth sign and a water sign related to this reunion (maybe an event with multiple friends present?)

Taylor is going through something big and that’s what she’s focused on right now. She’s leaving something behind and ending a cycle that doesn’t have richness and fulfillment (bye bye, YB). She starting over fearlessly and blooming into a new version of herself (fearless!). And that transition is going to take time.

Reader feels like Taylor’s either talking to someone about having children or maybe just talking to someone who either she or they can’t give the other what they need (i.e. bear fruit in the relationship).

[the-firebird69]

Couple more things. We're tired of the atmosphere here. We're tired of our son being poor and berated. We're sick of people picking on him And we're sick of these idiots. We don't need it. We don't need their routine. We don't need their sick crap, their big mouse and their stupid faces. We're going to stop them permanently. and it will have to work. They were sick of it. Is he? Yeah. And yeah, Woody is Peter. and the guy in the back seat is Sean's gay. So we are going to list off a couple things, and then it's time to rest.

-- There are a couple things that I. going wrong here And we do see what they are. The movie is a little odd. And the acting strange. But we don't like that. It's this bowling movie with Woody Harrelson.

==- There's a couple other things we need to. make to mention. this group that's going around following our son and harassing him, saying that they're in charge are not qualified to be near him, not to mention taking care of him. And we want them all. oiut

--- There are clouds of radiation that come up this way from. the Everglades, and it is the three. I know that's 5 quarter mile or so there. will be a cloud up here at 2:00 PM. Another cloud approximately 5:00 PM each will be about 1.7 rad in. Punta Gorda and roughly. 2.3 rad in Fort Myers, the whole area. there dangerous clouds. The people in Fort Myers are very sick but it just started a week and a half ago. and cancer takes about three weeks to grow significantly. Our son is cancer free and does not feel sick. at all. And there are some things to know about this. that they will all be sick practically. all of southern Florida in about 2 weeks. and their power levels going down at the same time. Tonight they're going to lose about 50. thousand people. in Charlotte County. The next week. they're going to lose. probably two hundred thousand in charlotte. but in two weeks about five mkillion out of seven milion. And that would be the last. straw for these people here They won't last after that and they will have to leave because of the radiation. And the sun will be stuck here. and they'll be thinking that they're threatening him by not getting him money. But after tonight, the outer layer of will be down to about 67%. Roughly, it really is going to be 75%. He says, is that your final answer? What I say is this preservative in there too and it does withstand radiation and the doses will keep. coming on purpose. It is to eliminate the idiots around here. Realistically, it is down to about 87%. and it's just started, but And he doesn't need all that radiation. No, he does because of the medicine. But he also does because of the delay. He would. not be. able to grow without it happening. And But. it'll take a full three months to get rid of it all. This is a lot of it in there and still a dangerous levels. and these people will be gone by the time Comic Con comes around. Tomorrow is a new day. We don't think BJA will break 5. We do think that the five qurter mile o so , will fall in a day or two and escalate the fighting. three fleets are involved now and it is the second fleet sent by bja. and the first still yb tommy f and same for the speduo empire. they hve a lot of fie power. tommy f and bja this round will be out shortly. both have big numbers waiting in th wings. the pseudo empire called mroe and the fleets of Hera diminished and are at. about sity five pecent of their original size after this contingent detaches. and it is not good. they will see, them h eat up and they sy wait nd are wise yes...in tht restpect but very dumb for wat thy will try. to face the embpire and us and forg and be toasted. and cant wait they say. and good they will see yo nope. and will see the empire....and he sys why. we will all b urn if we try it that way and they hear it. see it not. heard it earlier yes but ok. now they sy this what of it nothing ok. and say it. so we burn will shall and no doubt easier faster than the half assed psudoe empire who will prob stop you at half and yways they smile probably. and no the empire isnt there you see them though and he sys no they arent thoese hugeships on your scope dont exist. smles cant hit them all. yes they can. dope. fn mron. the deaths tsars are massibe widen it heat em and out. and oh he says this is fun. now he sys this we use tem cold tey say how you aas and he says dontknow no asshole it is my wife you try to hit yu moron just rip ok and he sys we shall yes you shall nincubmpoop fn faggot. now they are mean and up and say it so what they can stop you prob wiht one ship you assholes. nd say it we fight and sutff.

so we wiat lol

Thor Freya

Olympus

[pj-magic]

[earlyspringtranscendence]

my favourite thing about wrestling and i want NO ONE to disabuse me of the notion of this but my favourite thing about wrestling is picturing the buckets of water they put by the entrances for the men with long hair to dip their heads in before going out to the ring. i don’t care that this isnt what happens btw

[luminecent-cringe]

John Doe/ Yb headcanons

- Guess who’s suddenly hyper fixated on these 2 (hint it’s me 😔)

- (Also if you can see the obvious favoritism no you can’t )

- I like thinking Doe and Yb are neighbors and they hate each other and it’s so funny to me

- Realistically Doe could probably kick Peters ass considering he’s an Eldridge god or something but he probably won’t

- Also it’s canon that Doe just goes by whatever gender “you” wants him to be :D so I’m just going to go with he/they because that’s what I want

- I like thinking that Yb has a couple wigs or something because that bald bitch misses his hair from back in High school

- While I don’t think Yb is a clean freak I can definitely think he prefers to keep clean. It half comes from him being a stalker and shit so he’s just use to making sure there is no sign of him being places along with no strong smells on him

- He uses those scentless deodorants and such

- (Side rant I hate those scentless deodorants one there not even scentless and two the point of deodorant is to like mask the smell of your sweat so you doing stink or something like that so literally what is the point of scentless?? It doesn’t even do it’s job that we’ll people who wear it still smell like shit half the time)

:read more:

- It’s half the reason Yb doesn’t like Doe

- Doe (if their in a good mood) might try to explain to Yb that he kinda can’t shower or anything because he’s a clay man and his body would get all fucked up

- Yb probably says something like,” what kind of god can’t even make a proper body??”

- Fighting ensues

- While Doe cannot take a bath or anything in his human form he can in his actual form sense it’s just a floating hair ball with an eye

- But here comes the second problem of he just hates water

- You kinda gotta get “you” to force him to take a bath with them or something

- Doe does not wash his hoodie

- Anything else sure but they will legit not allow that hoodie to be washed

- Doe has (against the will of Peter) met Y/N

- That’s it nothing happened they just know each other

- Yb isn’t as attached to his sweater vest and Doe is to the hoodie but he also hates taking it off to wash it

- He understands he has to and such but he literal hates it

- Yb is literally such a little bitch (derogatory)

- He does that movie shit where you can be like,” can you pass the salt” and he slide it 2 cm towards you

- Someone pls slap him he needs it

- Yb has met “You” (against the will of Doe) and he actually thinks their funny

- “You” in game even when being nice is still kinda stand-offish and Peter thinks that’s funny

- Both Peter and Doe hate it when “You” or Y/N wear makeup just for different reasons

- Doe hates it cause he’s that type of guy that’s like,” But your so beautiful without makeup 🥺”

- Legit someone slap him

- Like bitchslap their ass

- Peter just hates the texture of makeup

- He hates how it feels on skin

- Even if you wear something simple like lipstick he’ll still complain because it sticky or something

- Doe doesn’t like it when “You” take showers or baths

- He likes “your natural scent” and not the artificial scents of soaps and shampoos

- It doesn’t matter if you use scentless, something super expensive and good for your skin, or mens 4 in 1 (it’s for shampoo, body wash, dish wash, and toothpaste 😃(no it’s not a real thing I just made this up)) he hates it

- (Another miny rant I hate those 2 in 1 mens soaps. Why are men like this??? I’m happy your washing your fucking ass but pls.. a little fucking decorum??? Your not less masculine because you use Aveeno or some coconut shit like damn)

- Yb (has some fucking decorum unlike other men 😒) and changes his soap to match whatever natural flower grows where he is at the moment so he kinda just smells natural

- (Men of the world pls take some fucking notes. Like get out a pen and take some notes. I want to hear the ink being put down on paper.)

- I like thinking Yb often forgets that he is bald now so he buys shampoo and then goes to use it and just feels is bald boiled egg ahh head and then starts sobbing in the shower

- Does hair literally has a mind of its own (and sometimes tries to eat shit) so his hair is also tangled and knotted BUT sometimes “You” takes a whole ass day to sit this bitch down to wash his hair

- Doe doesn’t really mind cause 1. “You” is touching him and 2. For some reason getting his hair washed it really stimulating for him so ye good

- Doe doesn’t need to eat and Peter often forgets to eat so neither of them are a good definition of healthy

- Doe canonically doesn’t have organs and sometimes he gets sad about this

- Mainly because one time they saw Y/N leaning on Peter and listening to his heart beat. Another time Doe themself was laying on “You” and heard their heartbeat

- Now he’s just like,” I want a heart beat” mainly cause he wants “You” to cuddle him and listen to his heart beat

- He actually did try to make one ☝️

- It just was really shitty because he didn’t know wtf a human heart looked like

- Eventually he went to Maison and asked if he could get them a heart for reference

- D: Could you get me a human heart for reference?

- M: wtf… why do you need one for reference? I could just give you one and you could use that!

- D: Oh yea! Your so smart :)

- God pls someone stop these inhuman idiots

- It’s also canon that Doe makes organs just to leave them in “You’s” house so yea they probably just left the human heart there in the end

- Peter actually considered doing something like that to Y/N when he heard Doe does it

- Once Y/N found out (probably from “You”) they had to remind Peter that Doe is some weird god thingy and Peter is not

- Peter had considered trying to kill Doe but decided that’s just too much trouble

- Doe has considered the same thing and there is nothing actually stopping them from carrying through with it besides them just being more preoccupied with “You”

- Yb is really embarrassed by high school him

- One time Yb walked in on Doe eating teeth and has not been the same sense

- The only thing Doe and Yb ever bond over is one their love for “You” and Y/N and that they both like baby rats

- Yb used to have one when he was a kid but the rat bit him and Yb’s parents had decided to kill because they didn’t like the rat anyways

- Doe just thinks their cool :D

- Doe has been alone for legit centuries. So 1. He hates being under stimulated and 2. When too much happens he gets overstimulated and then starts to cling on to people he likes

- So basically just “You”

- He needs that perfect balance of stimulation

- “You” has started buying him those stim toys (the ones that are like normal rings or bracelets) for him to mess with

- Sometimes Peter makes fun of Doe because Peter actually went to school unlike Doe

- Then Doe is literally like but I know everything in the actual universe

- They are so petty

I just need some new space

- Doe also likes having some form of human contact no matter who it is

- Peter cannot fucking drive

- Like he has terrible road rage

- Being in a car with him is scary 💀

- Like make sure your buckled up

- Doe on the other hand is scared of cars

- He just doesn’t like the sound they make

- Also the idea of putting his life in the hands of other people who are dumb on the road scares him

🍅🍅

- Peter when he was in High school used to egg peoples houses when he was upset (Peter that shit only happens in the movies get your shit together 🙄)

- Doe usually doesn’t eat anything sweet, not because he doesn’t like it but because if he eats too much his body might start to melt and shit from him being so hyperactive

- He likes gingerbread men for some reason

- Peter has a long tongue pretty sure that’s canon I can’t remember but sometimes you can find him using it to like lick the very bottom of an empty can or something

- You know when you watch children try to absolutely lick the last atom of pudding in a pudding cup or something? Yea that’s Peter

- Yb actually dislikes physical contact and tries to avoid it as much as possible

- One time “You” and Yb joined forces to bathe Doe with something scented

- It didn’t work as planned and long story short Yb is now semi scared to be in Doe’s house

- Peter likes to clean, but is often either to lazy or busy to properly clean up like he would like too

- Both Yb and Doe have phones but neither of them use it that much. Somehow tho they both have like a million cracks in it. Like wtf where you wrestling with the fucking phone??? What happened??

- Doe and Peter get flirted with a lot by those like 13 year olds “e-girls” who call themselves milfs at the mall 💀

- Peter used to have a tongue piercing but he doesn’t wear it anymore because it often got stuck in shit too much

- (I don’t know how else to phrase this head canon besides that one video where it’s like,” you said how I get to it address?? … … Don’t even worry about that bruh!?”)

- Yb has stalked Doe to see what he does throughout the day and why people even like him and found out he either spends his days with “You” or is just not there

- When Doe actually doesn’t have anything to do they just stop being

- Like they go into their unnatural fabric of space where only they (and any other Eldridge being) can resides

- Basically he no clips out of life

- From there they like to watch “You” and maybe sometimes other humans to find out how they act normally

- Other times Doe just wanders around the city just window shopping

- I’m sure Doe has rules and shit on what he can and cannot do and I may or may not write a couple of them down

- Doe can only really do his weird warping shit in areas he controls. Not necessarily just something that really is his but in a place where it’s just naturally either accepted or seen as his

- Yea if the area is considered his he can control it and the stuff in it

- Peter is just one those people who just like don’t get sick

- Like legit bitch could walk outside in -69 degrees in shorts and the next day he is still perfectly fine

- Peter is a dry texter and does not read sarcasm in text

- You can say something sarcastically and he’ll be like,” Noooo Honey what did I do 🥺?? Why are you upset? How can I make it better 🥺🥺???” Like bitch pls I was joking 😭

- At least he immediately tries to make it better!!

- Both Peter and Doe are the type of guys to not argue with “You” and Y/N and just agree with them that their in the wrong even if their not

- They also almost always try to immediately stop the argument

- BITCH PLS I JUST WANT TO ARGUE

- Also the type of people to instead of just listen to you complain about something and sympathy they will actually try to solve the problem you complain about!?

- Like once again.. BITCH PLS I JUST WANT TO COMPLAIN 😭

- I don’t actually want solutions to my problem get with the program

- 🙄

- 😩

- Anyways

- You can legit hide and Doe’s hair

- Like it will grow and shit to surround you and you can hide in it

- Y/N once did this to hide from Peter

- It worked

- One time Yb got mad and went to cut Doe’s hair with scissors as “a prank” and the scissors legit broke against his hair

- The boyfriend was too stunned to speak 😟

- Doe is that kind of person to just knock into every item possible and then be like,” where did I get all these bruises??”

- Peter has jokingly stabbed Doe before and Doe just kinda stood there

- They don’t really feel pain sense they didn’t know humans had nerves that helped them feel pain and therefor did not make any so he doesn’t really feel pain

- Peter has a high metabolism so that skinny bitch could eat a whole kitchen and still weigh like 110 at the most

- Peters favorite class was history. He thinks it’s romantic (no I will not go further into that)

- Meanwhile Doe actually likes science (I will go into detail about this one)

- He finds it funny that humans made up their own numbers and reasons to explain some of the shit they can’t explain

- They found reason where there is non besides a higher being

- (Sidenote I can go off forever about this concept and debate about it on both ends but I will not)

- Doe finds it funny how self centered humans are at times

- Peter is actually a great example of this

- What’s even funnier is Doe themself are another great example of this and if anything further proves why humans have somewhat of a right to be so self centered

- (Once again I could talk about this concept for hours but I won’t so abrupt switch of topic so I don’t keep going)

- Peter is legit such a bad driver

- I know I already said this but I have to say it again, don’t get in a car with this man

- Doe is like a dog, like he sticks his head out the window

- And any other body part at that

- Doe also has like no concept of normality

- Like if their is a problem like they can’t all fit in a car he’ll suggest cutting someone up and putting their pieces in the trunk until they get there

- Peter dead has to remind Doe that THEY ARE NOT ALL FUCKING INHUMAN AND CANT JUST PUT THEMSELVES BACK TOGETHER

- Peter sometimes get upset because he can’t just change his body or anything if Y/N doesn’t like him like Doe can

- Peter just overall gets upset that Doe can simply do more than him

- Peter is the type of person to like walk into your room at like 7 am, open your curtains and be like,” Rise and shine honey!”

- Doe will literally hiss at the sun

- (I’m throwing another character Maison into these because I’ve been simping for him recently too)

- But that’s basically the house guy

- It’s canon that his body is just bait but I like to headcanon it’s more like his tongue

- He doesn’t NEED it to eat his clients but sometimes he wants to taste them

- Yb and Maison actually get along quite well :D

- From a business standpoint anyways

- Meaning when Yb doesn’t like someone sometimes instead of him killing them he’ll fuck up their house and then suggest they go to Maison for a new one

- Usually Maison ends up eating that person

- So it’s a win win for both of them

- Maison actually dislikes the texture of teeth, so he gets little baggies and gifts them to Doe

- It’s only recently he does that tho. He gets more clients now (due to Yb) so he doesn’t have to eat body parts he doesn’t like

- Maison doesn’t know how to drive because he’s never really had to

- Maison is absolutely disgusted by Doe. Like how dirty he is. He gets that his body cannot support water or whatever but he believes then Doe should work harder to find an alternative

- Maison can’t go outside of Uncanny Valley

- Yb used to be in music club back in High-school

- He played both guitar and piano (he also knows how to play the bass but he doesn’t like talking about that one)

- Yb has a love hate relationship with summer. He likes it because it means Y/n is more likely to be outside and he can watch them doing some more stuff but on the same hand it’s hot and he sweats a lot and I already said he hates strong smells. Besides their are now too many people around that might flirt with Y/n or something

- Doe and Maison don’t have that same problem because they can just get rid of their sweat glands or whatever the fuck

- (I forgot why tf people sweat. It’s like an internal cooling system if I remember correctly)

- Btw if you try to explain something body related to Doe be careful. Explain it in depth and as best as you can. For example with the way I just poorly explained why people sweat. Yea if you used that same explanation for Doe he might not get it and then he’ll believe humans have small air conditioners in him.

- “You” look!! I have a cooling system too so now it’s not super hot for you during the summer!!”

- If you get close you can feel the soft cool air of an a/c

- He’s trying his best okay

- Thank them‼️🙄

- Doe really like fluffy things

- Like pancakes

- Both him and Maison like to eat them with marmalades instead of just regular syrup (same it’s so fucking good 😩)

- Maison and Yb only really like actual tea that needs to be like made in a teapot

- I say that to really emphasize this next head canon

- Doe eats that ice tea powder

- Like the Lipton ice tea mix powder. Ye they just eat that shit

- It’s actually any powder

- Like Kraft (🤢) powdered cheese or whatever he eats that too

- Doe is not the strongest in Uncanny Valley as the creator said but he is hard to kill

- I will say he is definitely stronger than Maison

- Not by much but he definitely is

- (A little bit of context for the Maison head canons in one ending of House Hunted Maison is kinda sad to eat “You” because he actually enjoys their company because they weren’t difficult and just does kinda goes with what he says)

- Oh also I’ll change this if I’m wrong but Maison goes by he/him

- Okay, so Maison just naturally likes more “submissive” people (I can’t think of another word for it 😭)

- It’s mainly because he just likes hearing his own fucking voice

- But on the other hand he wouldn’t like someone who is just a follower and agrees with what he’s saying just because

- He wants someone who can hold an intelligent conversation but at the same time will allow him to just go on

- And Jesus Christ this motherfucker will not stop talking if you don’t stop him 🙄

- Legit will stand there and lecture you for hours

- He actually enjoys talking to Peter

- But then it might turn into them insulting each other or some bigger argument

- Mainly cause Maison will say something like,” I mean, if *I* was Y/n I wouldn’t like you cause your not very gentlemanly.”

- Fighting ensues

- Maison (like Doe) made his body (but unlike Doe) it was only to lure people in

- Practical use only, when not trying to eat people he normally just lets that body go limp and instead just lives as the house

- The only time he really uses his body anymore is to lure some buyers into to eat and whenever he wants to spend time with “You”

- It’s only then he (and whoever else) realize that his body doesn’t function at all. Like it can’t smell or physically feel anything. The only think that really works are his eyes and ears (and even those are a bit iffy)

- Unlike Doe he cannot just change his body to do what he wants. He would kind of have to cut his fake body off entirely and then start making a new one, which could take an annoying amount of time

- Besides he already like what he calls,” The perfection that is my body right now.” So he doesn’t really care to make a new one

- If Doe notices that “You” might be spending more time with Maison or something he would get pretty jealous. But unlike any other normal person or even weaker deity in Uncanny Valley he can’t just scare or kill Maison off

- Cue a very pissy Doe

- I’ll probably think of a way later but I can’t imagine how anyone would kill Maison

- Doe is admittedly hard to kill

- Mainly because it’s actually confirmed that his hair can split apart from him in these little hair ball forms and if their just left alone for a while they can start to just grown into another Doe

Okay so this is old. No I will not be writing for YB 1. Just because I personally don’t really care for him and 2. Because I don’t like nor support his creator. I’m just dumping this because I’m just emptying out some drafts and a friend of mine used to really like YB. I will write for John Doe or Maison tho :)

[mr-moose-man]

what do you think of yb?

There are two parts to this question so I'll do both :)

The Your Boyfriend game is a very solid demo! The story is a mood and somewhat realistic and I personally felt immersed in the story and I wanted to play more of it. It's got great soundtrack, and the fact that I felt attracted to the stranger was impressive writing. It could play into how the game toys with the player's emotions in the future. I think that if the game shows how people get roped into this and feel trapped and invested by making the player actually feel that way, it could be a fantastic, educational, and meaningful piece of art!

The Your Boyfriend character is a pissbaby. Fuck that guy. He's a guy who's so insecure about himself that he needs y/n to keep him stable. He believes he needs someone to love him in order to be worth something, but that implies he doesn't think that he's worth anything. He kills to keep y/n not to keep them safe, but to prove that since y/n is with him, he has purpose and he is worth something. He's so goddamn scared of losing his purpose, he kidnaps you. He doesn't know what love looks like, he just knows that he has an urge and he needs to take care of it now. He uses physical force as a way to exert control over his life. Of course, you can't love someone until you love yourself, and he doesn't. This guy hates himself. Why is he attractive? He's adorable when you first meet him. He's cheesy, which shows that he's new to romance and it's kinda pathetic in a cute way. Like a kid learning how to walk, it's quite charming. Look at that skinny golf ball go!

I think that yb is designed to create the "I can fix him" mentality, and he's damn good at it.

tldr: Great game! YB is a pissbaby, I can fix him but actually I'll get hurt in the process. Great potential for horror if we can get over the idea of him being an actual bf

[yandere-to-express]

Sarah Dunbar if she was realistic l don’t know why she came out better than her brother

[fceriestcrdst]

anyways, i'm gonna go lay down because i haven't slept and i am very exhausted rn. hopefully, my nonnie post picks up and someone dms me or sends me and ask or whatever. i hope it works but if it doesn't that's okay too

aaaaa

[kindahoping4forever]

It kinda feels like they were so frustrated about the time in between the first single and CALM being released, that that’s why they’re going about it so differently this time. ~ Rema

With a new label in play and the pandemic having changed how we consume music, it's so hard to guess what the approach is. None of their albums have really been a one to one comparison, they've all been made under such different circumstances, with 5SOS5 and YB being the most similar to me since they're really the only two albums they were able to take their time to create.

CALM is such a complex case it needs to go under a cut lmao

They weren't as open about CALM's process as they had been with previous albums so we never had a distinct timeline of its development beyond the knowledge they started recording in January 2019 and by the time they were doing WDYL promo in March, Ashton was telling people the album was finished while being open about the fact that they were currently unsigned.

Once they signed to Interscope and released Easier in May, they started answering release date questions with vague "we'll see how this single does first" teases, which I always took to imply that if Easier (or later, Teeth) had been a smash hit the way YB was, whatever incarnation of the album that was ready at that point would've been released off the strength of the single. (Whether or not that would've been the same CALM that was ultimately released in 2020 or a different incarnation, we really don't know!)

And I know it's an unpopular opinion but I think this move was a smart strategy, though it's hard to see it that way since we know how things ended up. At that point they were not only trying to build a brand but they needed to get their single success to translate to album success, which is a tough thing to do in a case like theirs, when the songs are more known than the artist.

Early on they mentioned wanting to release multiple songs before the album but the output deadzone between Teeth's August 2019 release and No Shame's February 2020 release has always led me to believe that either contractually or logistically, the WWJ tour interfered with the plan and that's how we ended up with the crush of No Shame/Old Me/CALM all being released within 6 weeks of each other. (Wildflower was in there too but I think that got fast-tracked bc the beginnings of the pandemic was obviously pulling focus from even the most dedicated fans' minds.)

Like I mentioned, 5SOS5 is very reminiscent of YB both in the length of time it's taken to make it and the apparent trial and error process (it's been said they went thru multiple sounds before landing where they did and some of the songs on the album -WWYLM and WIJ- are actually from that earlier incarnation) but what sets this new album apart is how many evolutions it's appeared to go thru. (I hope they speak to this as the release approaches!) With CALM over three years old to them at this point, I can't imagine how ready they must be to focus on new material and I imagine if 2021 had gone a bit differently (going thru 2 management teams and having to find another new label) they could've rallied and released something last year.

Looking to YB for comparison, even with the measured approach to the album, the final stage was a whirlwind, with them releasing WYB in late February but still in the mixing process in March, amidst single promo and rehearsals/departure for the 5SOS3 tour (only for the album to not release until June). And while I do still think the idea of touring both CALM and 5SOS5 together makes the most sense (notice the shift in messaging from 'No Shame Tour' to '2022 Tour'), I'm not sure how realistic it is to expect them to promote a single, an album and rehearse for a tour in just over 2 months. YB shows it can be done, but would they want to? Or do they hold it until they can devote their full attention to promo? Which... wouldn't be until late summer, between tour legs 🤔👀

@whentherosesbl00m

[tracer85s]

yizhan fic rec (2)

part 1

glute bridges by sunstainedsheets

[explicit, 29k, complete]

personal trainer and dancer yibo and graphic designer xiao zhan. GYM AU omg i love this. xiao zhan signs up for a gym membership and personal training sessions where he’s totally not ogling his coach. there’s also a scene with xiao zhan attempting to converse with yibo in korean that got me cackling lmao, our resident koreaboo indeed. it was also great to see mentor yibo here, it reminded me of his prod 101 days when he was so intimidating as a mentor, also... very sexy. anyway i adore this, they’re just thirsting over each other, especially yibo checking out the zhass, it’s okay bobo we’ve all been there

i’d wear gucci for you by Anonymous

[teen and up, 16k, complete]

abo au where alpha yibo and omega xiao zhan are photographed going into xiao zhan’s apartment together so they’re forced to pretend that they’re mated to prevent a scandal. this has become my favourite fics because i’m an absolute sucker for fake/pretend relationships and the way the writer incorporated canon stuff like yibo answering interview questions for xiao zhan ugh guys i love this fic. when yibo was so exasperated near the end and said “i’m wearing gucci for you” & waving his hand i really lost it. JUST READ THIS I PROMISE IT’S A GOOD READ

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby

[explicit, 32k, complete]

ah where do i even start with this one? xiao zhan gets drunk and texts yibo, yibo shows up at his house and whisks him away on a road trip. i felt so much emotions reading this fic, everything was so raw and it really deals with the pressures of being famous and homophobia. this is a super realistic fic and there’s a lot of emotional hurt/comfort, you’ll literally end up wanting to wrap these two in a big blanket and just protect them from the world (lol like we don’t already want to do that). my absolute favourite part was the confession scene, like it was so messy and funny, and it’s just so them, especially the pokemon part lmao. this art is based on that scene and it’s exactly how i imagined it 🥺 this is just so well written and it’s one of my favs!

love in the time of coding by theivoryflute

[explicit, 26k, complete]

hacker yibo and cyber security engineer xiao zhan. yibo cyber flirts with xiao zhan and also flirts with him in real life. *SCREAMS* i never thought we’d have a hacker au in the fandom but i’ve been blessed, this was literally the cutest online romance fic with a bunch of mutual pining. my favourite dialogue is “the whiplash from wanting to ride yibo to wanting to coddle him was severe” i’m literally wheezing, this is a perfect representation of the fandom, also the usernames that yibo picked got me cackling there’s one in particular that made me laugh, you’ll know what it is when you see it so go read this gem!

Peace & Love by ella_minnow

[explicit, 51k, complete]

my favourite writer is back again with this baby! idol dance captain xiao zhan and non-famous dancer yibo!!! ARE WE KIDDING? slow burn sdoc au? I’M SO IN WTF. guys listen to me. yibo has a low ponytail and arm tattoos *goes feral* one of my favourite scenes from this fic is when xiao zhan had to convince yibo to join his team (bro. he didn’t even have to try) because yibo says “no, Xiao-laoshi. I would of course never leave you.” i’m screeching, totally gave me tgcf hua cheng vibes. my absolute favourite scene, however, is when yibo says xiao zhan doesn’t have to worry about sending him home because he’s going to win everything... like... the sheer bde this man exudes in real life and fiction... very sexy of him. i also love how this showcases how well they work together and of course the *whispers* celebratory sex!

Hyacinth by stickyriceu

[explicit, 76k, complete]

racer yibo celebrates after a competition and meets hyacinth’s number one host, zhan-er. slow burn with LOTS of pining and angst. i finished this in one sitting and i’m still screaming over it, it’s so good!!! genuinely felt my soul leave my body reading this because zhan zhan with shoulder length hair? tied up in a messy bun? *SCREECHES* everyone go read and get your angst on, don’t worry, there’s a happy ending ;)

Song of the Sea by LaMachina17

[explicit, 48k, complete]

mermaid xiao zhan and pirate yibo !!! xiao zhan meets yibo and has one very exciting night with him so he ends up following him aboard their pirate ship! i’m literally on my knees praising this fic. i will re-read this until i die, it’s perfect. AND THEY’RE CAT DADS IN THIS FIC TOO. seriously i don’t need to say anything else go read this gem

The Dragons by MadFilaments

[explicit, 31k, complete]

xiao zhan is his village’s marriage offering to dragon lord yibo. are you kidding me? shapeshifter yibo? arranged marriage fic? YES. this is one of my favourites, i always re-read it because the way their relationship just naturally progresses in the story warms my heart 😩 AND they call each other husband and i just *melts* they’re ! so ! domestic ! there’s angst but it’s not too bad and i’m in love with yibo’s speech about how dragons love forever *cries*

golden hour by Deinde

[explicit, 35k, complete]

professional snowboarder yibo teaches actor xiao zhan how to snowboard in a show! OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO GOOD *SCREAMS* it’s literally just them flirting and being absolutely thirsty for each other, especially in the photoshoot scene dear lord. i’m so annoying, this fic tab has been open in my safari for forever and i forgot about it until i watched ddu’s snow sports episode so don’t do the same thing as me and go! read! this! fic! immediately!

Falling In Love by beeswaxing

[mature, 65k, complete]

celebrities yibo and xiao zhan star in a we got married/hello baby inspired reality show! oh my god. the domestic fluff in this i am reeling, THIS IS JUST ADORABLE. this is definitely the domestic kid fic i so desperately needed 😭 and the way the writer added in those canon bjyx details is just perfect, everyone go read this please!!

Legend of the Jade Rabbit: The Musical by emma_screams

[explicit, 12k, complete]

high school au with lion hybrid yibo and bunny hybrid xiao zhan. this fic has musicals! it’s really quite fluffy, yibo literally calls zhan zhan “bunny gege” and i’m just *SCREECHING* also i love protective yibo 😭 i really love this it’s so cute & has a very refreshing plot!

pick me, pick me up by domeeneec

[mature, 10k, complete]

college/uni wrong number au where xiao zhan keeps accidentally calling yibo to bail him out of his bad dates and yibo ends up becoming his “personal dating assistant” this was the FLUFFIEST. although there is some light angst when xiao zhan drunk dials yibo and cries about not being able to find love, but i swear this is super soft and fluffy!!! READ THIS FOR SEROTONIN

Ruby and Gold by aces_low

[explicit, 16k, complete]

mob boss xiao zhan and his trophy husband yibo. HELLO? MURD3R HUSBANDS YIZHAN? this was such a fun read! trigger warnings for blood and violence though so look out for those! yizhan will literally not hesitate to beat you tf up in this fic they’re so badass here but they’re so soft with each other. xiao zhan literally calls yibo gǒu zǎizǎi and tiánxīn i am. Melting. also there’s a proposal. it’s unromantic but still so romantic, i love it. i also saw this art and i think this would be how they look in the fic

To Be Human by purplemonster

[teen and up, 19k, complete]

humanoid yibo and ceo xiao zhan. xiao zhan tests out his company’s newest creation and falls in love along the way. android aus always hurt me so. good. and this one’s not an exception. it’s pretty slow burn and definitely angst-y but it has a happy ending! i love the domesticity, i have no idea why i love grocery scenes so much? but anyway this is perfect for a rainy day and you’ll coo at the ending

Falling by brooklinegirl

[explicit, 42k, complete]

yb and xz behind the scenes while filming. this was such a melancholic read for me (even though there’s so much papapa) because they pine SO HARD at the start, don’t get me wrong though, it’s also cute because there’s so much canon flirting!but my heart really broke when filming was ending and yb’s thoughts were “We could run away together. Miss our flights. Stay here in Hengdian, or fuck it, go somewhere where no one knows us and just...” *sobs* pls go read!!!

What’s Your Emergency? by bluefloral

[general, 2k, complete]

police officer yibo and single father xiao zhan! yuan, xiao zhan’s son calls 911 for help with his math homework and officer yibo helps him 🥺 this was such an adorable short read!

[proxylynn]

https://www.tumblr.com/proxyposting-yb/733699477767143424/httpswwwtumblrcomproxylynn733686511276539904

Can you clarify this headcanon / AU?

[I think this a fairly fine interpretation of how things transpire here in regard to all the personalized yans. And you even worked in my "proxy" name in a creatively realistic way. I am the in-between, the mediator, the door you knock at and request entry to this wacky world. Once here you get what I can give and the manifestations of what I know.]