#realistic Sarah Dunbar

[yandere-to-express]

Sarah Dunbar if she was realistic l don’t know why she came out better than her brother

[louisapennyfeather2021]

Screw it, I made a Newsies/ Teen Wolf because I don't care, Teen Wolf is my all time favorite supernatural tv series and I stand by this.

Key: ☠️= dead, 🌻= alive, 💀= eventually dies, 🌹= dies and comes back to life

So here's my dumpster fire of an AU idea:

Jack Kelly as Scott McCall/True Alpha Werewolf(makes some questionable decisions to help his friends while also doing what's right. Was turned by Oscar)🌹

Racetrack Higgins as Stiles Stilinski/Human/Nogitsune(ADHD, unreasonably intelligent, spaz who is sometimes questioned because of his slight paranoia. Jack's foster brother)🌻

Sarah Jacobs as Allison Argent/Hunter(has a relationship with Jack for a little while until l the werewolf/hunter thing becomes and issue and they eventually breakup)☠️

Davey Jacobs as Chris Argent/Hunter turned Ally(except Davey and Sarah are still siblings instead of father and daughter and Davey eventually ends up with Jack)🌻

Albert DaSilva as Lydia Martin/Banshee(1, I did this because of the red hair and 2, Race and Albert's friendship works perfectly. Kind of a snob, dates Hotshot for a while before Hotshot moves. Extremely intelligent, plays dumb. Realistic.)🌻

Spot Conlon as Derek Hale/Beta to Alpha to Beta Werewolf/Shifting Wolf(they are literally the same person, fight me. Lost his family in a house fire set by Morris Delancey [trust me], helps Jack learn to be a werewolf)🌹

Medda Larkin as Melissa McCall(Badass mom who loves her children but also keeps him in check while almost dying? Yes)🌻

Bryan Denton as Dr. Alan Deaton/Druid(Jack's boss and mentor. Hides his knowledge about the supernatural until he's almost killed numerous times. Acts as a guide for Jack and his friends)

Hannah Veldheer as Coach Finstock/Human(economics teacher, lacrosse coach, cross country coach. Definitely has favorites when it comes to her players, although she does develop into a fair coach who cares about her team. Has a like/dislike attitude specifically towards Race, although it's because Race goes out of his way to prank her. Not completely stable mentally, she probably shouldn't be a teacher, but she also knows the school can't fire her because of budget and such)🌻

Smalls Hunt as Cora Hale/Beta Werewolf(since she's usually Spot's younger sister in most fics. She shows up after years of Spot thinking she died in the house fire)🌻

Oscar Delancey as Peter Hale/Alpha to Beta Werewolf(but he's a psychotic cousin because Peter was actually in a psych ward and fits the description of Psychotic, I promise he's not just called that because he's done a few bad things)🌹(many times)

Warden Snyder as Gerard Argent/Hunter(crazy, obsessive father to the Argent Twins who they have a restraining order against? Yes)💀

Morris Delancey as Kate Argent/Hunter/Were-Jaguar(Davey and Sarah's older brother. Has a brief relationship with Spot, sets fire to the Hale House to kill the werewolves. Gets turned after everyone thinks he died)🌹

Katherine Plumber as Isaac Lahey/Beta Werewolf (Jack's friend, was considered an enemy at one point when she was in Spot's pack, has a brief relationship with Sarah before something, um, happens[I'm sorry], travels to France with Davey briefly before returning to help Jack)🌻

Crutchie Morris as Liam Dunbar/Beta Werewolf (Jack takes him under his wing when Medda takes Crutchie in, accidentally turns him to a werewolf, has I.E.D[Intermittent explosive disorder, meaning when he's angry he's irrational], but he gets it under control with Jack's help)🌻

Sniper Wong as Vernon Boyd/Beta Werewolf (in Spot's pack before she's kidnapped by the Alpha Pack, best friends with Katherine, Smalls, Spot, and Buttons, enemy to friends with Jack just like Katherine)☠️

Buttons Davenport as Erica Reyes/Beta Werewolf(hardcore enemy to friend with Jack, very brief fling with Spot, had epilepsy before Spot turned him, tries to run away with Sniper to escape hunters but is kidnapped by the Alpha Pack)☠️

Jojo de la Guerra as Malia Tate/Were-coyote(was a coyote for years after watching his adoptive family die in a car accident he thinks he caused, becomes friends with Race while in an insane asylum, has a very brief sling with Race, finds out he's Oscar's younger biological brother, one of Jack's best friends)🌻

Ike Guzman as Ethan Steiner/Alpha to Beta Werewolf(Part of the Alpha Pack until he loses his alpha status, wants to be in Jack's pack, tries to prove himself, rational compared to his brother, runs away to England after something happens to his brother, dates Boots before leaving)🌻

Mike Guzman as Aiden Steiner/Alpha to Beta Werewolf(Part of the Alpha Pack until he loses his alpha status, also wants to be in Jack's pack, tries to prove himself irrationally, really likes Albert although Albert shuts him down after some of the things he's done, eventually becomes friends with Albert, redeems himself in the end)☠️

Hotshot Ferreri as Jackson Whittemore/Kanima/Beta Werewolf/Werewolf-Kanima Chimera(dates Albert for the longest time, egotistical, forces Spot to give him The Bite to change him, becomes the Kanima[deadly lizard thing that kills who he's told to], is eventually redeemed and becomes a werewolf, leaves for England after not being able to handle the chaos of his hometown, returns eventually while dating Ike)🌹

Boots Lowe as Danny Mahealani/Human(the chill guy that doesn't know anything about the supernatural until Hotshot tells him, pretend like he doesn't know, is literally the most chill guy you'll ever meet)🌻

Mush Meyers as Jordan Parrish/HellHound(sheriff's deputy, doesn't know about the supernatural until Jack tells him, doesn't like what he is for the longest time, helps save the day Countless times)🌹

Kid Blink as Sheriff Stilinski/Human(Is Race's biological older brother[Race knew Blink couldn't support both of them and he's okay with it, they still act like brothers], doesn't know about the supernatural for so long, chaotic af when it comes to Race, eventually dates Mush)🌻

Finch Cortes as Theo Raeken/Chimera/Beta Werewolf(friend to enemy to frenemy, tries to kill Jack many times, thinks he's doing what's right, sparks rift between Jack and Race because of Race's skepticism of Finch, creates Chimeras to make his own pack, eventually dates Crutchie)🌹🌹🌹🌹(it happens a few times)

Snitch Caspary as Hayden Romero/Chimera(briefly dates Crutchie, apart of Finch's "Pack", frenemy to friend with Crutchie after some childish fighting when they were younger)🌹

Specs Samuels as Mason Hewitt/Human/Beast Host(Crutchie's best friend and support system/ his partner in crime. Sort of like how Race is Jack's partner in crime.)🌹

Romeo Richardson as Corey Bryant/Chimera(foe to friend, dates Specs even when he's considered a foe to Jack and Liam. He can turn invisible on command and can also turn others invisible. He gets kidnapped and nearly dies when creatures known as Ghost Riders attack)🌹

Skittery Goorjian as Brett Talbot/Werewolf(Crutchie's friend to foe to friend. They fight a lot, but eventually find neutral grounds. Becomes a major Ally to Jack.)💀

And I almost forgot the most important character...

Snaps Walcott(Chaz Walcott's Brooklyn alter ego) as Greenburg aka the mysterious character that Coach Hannah always picks on no matter what even though she secretly thinks of them as one of her many Lacrosse children. Never actually seen on screen, only ever mentioned, could be a girl or a guy, the source of most of Coach Hannah's issues, secretly the best character ever.

I'm pretty sure I've missed a couple of characters, bit this literally covers Season 1 to Season 6. I low-key want to write a fic, but at the same time this is so freaking confusing.

Anyway, I hope anyone who loves Newsies or Teen Wolf or Both enjoys although it's confusing! Message me or send me and Ask if you have any questions!!!(make sure you specify that your questions or suggestions are for this AU please)

[queerbooksofcolor]

Summary from Goodreads:

In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever. Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily. Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town's most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept separate but equal. Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another. Boldly realistic and emotionally compelling, Lies We Tell Ourselves is a brave and stunning novel about finding truth amid the lies, and finding your voice even when others are determined to silence it.

Genres: historical fiction, coming-of-age

Sarah Dunbar: Black, Lesbian

[macksthetigerchild-blog]

Book Review: Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley

This book actually kind of blew me away. To begin, I’ll provide a quick synopsis.

Lies We Tell Ourselves is the beautiful story of a black lesbian in the middle of the desegregation movement. Her name is Sarah Dunbar and she is one of the first ten black students to integrate the previously all-white Jefferson High School. Of course, she’s a fictional character, but her story feels very real. The book follows her senior year, as she dares to speak out against the injustices dealt to her, to join the choir where she knows she isn’t wanted by the other students, and to fall in love with not only a white student, but also a girl.

I would rate this book 5/5 stars, for it’s beautiful story, incredible narration, and intricately dynamic characterization.

In this book, we see the characters of Sarah Dunbar and Linda Hairston weave together and change in ways that they didn’t believe possible.

The author, Robin Talley, really did her research. She cites all of her amazing sources in the back for those who wish to read further. The effort she put in to make this book feel real paid off entirely. This book could easily be a memoir.

Another plus side is that it does have a relatively happy ending. Many books about LGBT+ people from before the 1990’s have horrificly tragic endings, but this book doesn’t fall to that trope. It leaves the ending open in a way, but it also offers some sweet closure as well on Sarah and Linda’s story.

I would recommend that anyone who is interested in reading this book consider whether they can handle a book on this subject material. Many of these characters are well-meaning, but misguided, and even more are outright cruel. There are racial slurs throughout this book, and both girls have some serious internalized homophobia. There is also a small religious element to it.

If you think you can handle it, I do highly recommend this book. It really is a beautiful story, with a realistic but optimistic telling of the civil rights movement.

[teenageread]

Review: Lies We Tell Ourselves

Synopsis:

In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever.

Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily.

Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town's most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept separate but equal.

Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another.

Boldly realistic and emotionally compelling, Lies We Tell Ourselves is a brave and stunning novel about finding truth amid the lies, and finding your voice even when others are determined to silence it.

Plot:

*trigger warnings: racism*

Sarah was there for her parents. Her parents were both parts of the NAACP (The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People), an organization dedicated to ending segregation in the south, starting with allowing colored children into white’s only schools. That’s the reason why her parents packed up their family home in Chicago, and move them to Virginia, to be part of this movement. For months her parents and other NAACP members fought the government to allow Sarah and her peers into the school system. Finally, they won. That is how Sarah found herself, along with her peers, including her freshman sister Ruby, on the streets in front of Jefferson High. The yelling, the screaming, throwing things, Sarah has not herd such language used on her. They hated her, everyone, because of her color. The worst was the redhead, Lina, the one smarter than the rest, which to Sarah, made her worse.

Linda was ready to leave her family. Dating an older man, Jack, Linda’s plan was to get married a few months after high school, be the housewife to Jack when he attended school, and live a perfectly happy life outside of her father’s home. Where she used to be the star in her father’s eyes, after she got sick when she was younger, she was a burden than he beat often. With the colored children coming to her school, Linda was forced to work with the worst one of them all: Sarah Dunbar. Sarah had no problems calling Linda out on her racist ideas (even though that was not a word back then), back-talking her, and made Linda question everything her father had taught her. Where Sarah made Linda feel things she did not even feel for Jack, Sarah told Linda about all the possibilities out there for her in life, that marriage to Jack is not her only option.  

Thoughts:

What’s worse, being a colored student in a school full of the raciest, or, being a lesbian colored student in a school full of the raciest and falling for a white girl? Robin Talley tells us the story with two main themes: racism, and love. Told from the point of view of both Sarah and Linda, Talley divides the book into five parts, with the point of view switching at the parts, but also some time in-between. The first four parts instead of chapters are lie numbers, with part five being the number of truths.  The book flowed well, both with the racism side, and the love, as you could feel the sexual tension between the girls, but neither of them making the move. The part that was difficult to swallow was how Sarah fell so in love with Linda, given all the racist stuff Linda still believed. Yes, Linda had major character development, epically during what everyone else thought and the period of the story (1959). Even with Linda saying Sarah is an exception, could she really be with someone who was a racist to everyone but Sarah, and whom she cared about? But I guess you cannot really choose who you love. Talley defiantly did her research with the racism part, giving detail in what was life for colored people trying to go to school in 1959, in the south like Virginal. Overall an amazing story, for both the themes, making this book truly stands out on the shelf.

Read more reviews: Goodreads

Buy the book: Amazon

[queerfictionproject]

Queer Fiction Rec List #1: Contemporary Novels

WLW:

Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour: A love letter to the craft and romance of film and fate in front of—and behind—the camera from the award-winning author of Hold Still. A wunderkind young set designer, Emi has already started to find her way in the competitive Hollywood film world. Emi is a film buff and a true romantic, but her real-life relationships are a mess. She has desperately gone back to the same girl too many times to mention. But then a mysterious letter from a silver screen legend leads Emi to Ava. Ava is unlike anyone Emi has ever met. She has a tumultuous, not-so-glamorous past, and lives an unconventional life. She’s enigmatic…. She’s beautiful. And she is about to expand Emi’s understanding of family, acceptance, and true romance. [Notes: Hold Still seems interesting, although I don’t think it has any queer narrative or characters. It also deals heavily with suicide, so a warning in that respect]. 

This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp: Everyone has a reason to fear the boy with the gun.10:00 a.m.The principal of Opportunity high school finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.10:02 a.m.The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.10:03 The auditorium doors won't open.10:05. Someone starts shooting.Told from four perspectives over the span of 54 harrowing minutes, terror reigns as one student's calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival. [Notes: Obvious violence here. Don’t worry, they survive]. 

Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira: It begins as an assignment for English class: Write a letter to a dead person. Laurel chooses Kurt Cobain because her sister, May, loved him. And he died young, just like May did. Soon, Laurel has a notebook full of letters to people like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Amelia Earhart, Heath Ledger, and more -- though she never gives a single one of them to her teacher. She writes about starting high school, navigating new friendships, falling in love for the first time, learning to live with her splintering family. And, finally, about the abuse she suffered while May was supposed to be looking out for her. Only then, once Laurel has written down the truth about what happened to herself, can she truly begin to accept what happened to May. And only when Laurel has begun to see her sister as the person she was -- lovely and amazing and deeply flawed -- can she begin to discover her own path. [Notes: The LGBT romance is a side romance, although it is given as much attention as the main one]. 

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley: In 1959 Virginia, the lives of two girls on opposite sides of the battle for civil rights will be changed forever. Sarah Dunbar is one of the first black students to attend the previously all-white Jefferson High School. An honors student at her old school, she is put into remedial classes, spit on and tormented daily. Linda Hairston is the daughter of one of the town's most vocal opponents of school integration. She has been taught all her life that the races should be kept separate but equal. Forced to work together on a school project, Sarah and Linda must confront harsh truths about race, power and how they really feel about one another. Boldly realistic and emotionally compelling, Lies We Tell Ourselves is a brave and stunning novel about finding truth amid the lies, and finding your voice even when others are determined to silence it.

About A Girl by Sarah McCarry:  Eighteen-year-old Tally is absolutely sure of everything: her genius, the love of her adoptive family, the loyalty of her best friend, Shane, and her future career as a Nobel prize-winning astronomer. There’s no room in her tidy world for heartbreak or uncertainty—or the charismatic, troubled mother who abandoned her soon after she was born. But when a sudden discovery upends her fiercely ordered world, Tally sets out on an unexpected quest to seek out the reclusive musician who may hold the key to her past—and instead finds Maddy, an enigmatic and beautiful girl who will unlock the door to her future. The deeper she falls in love with Maddy, the more Tally begins to realize that the universe is bigger—and more complicated—than she ever imagined. Can Tally face the truth about her family—and find her way home in time to save herself from its consequences? [Notes: This is the third book in a “loose series”—apparently they’re pretty much stand alone.]

Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz: Etta is tired of dealing with all of the labels and categories that seem so important to everyone else in her small Nebraska hometown.Everywhere she turns, someone feels she’s too fringe for the fringe. Not gay enough for the Dykes, her ex-clique, thanks to a recent relationship with a boy; not tiny and white enough for ballet, her first passion; and not sick enough to look anorexic (partially thanks to recovery). Etta doesn’t fit anywhere— until she meets Bianca, the straight, white, Christian, and seriously sick girl in Etta’s therapy group. Both girls are auditioning for Brentwood, a prestigious New York theater academy that is so not Nebraska. Bianca seems like Etta’s salvation, but how can Etta be saved by a girl who needs saving herself?

Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld: Darcy Patel is afraid to believe all the hype. But it's really happening - her teen novel is getting published. Instead of heading to college, she's living in New York City, where she's welcomed into the dazzling world of YA publishing. That means book tours, parties with her favorite authors, and finding a place to live that won't leave her penniless. It means sleepless nights rewriting her first draft and struggling to find the perfect ending... all while dealing with the intoxicating, terrifying experience of falling in love - with another writer.Told in alternating chapters is Darcy's novel, the thrilling story of Lizzie, who wills her way into the afterworld to survive a deadly terrorist attack. With survival comes the responsibility to guide the restless spirits that walk our world, including one ghost with whom she shares a surprising personal connection. But Lizzie's not alone in her new calling - she has counsel from a fellow spirit guide, a very desirable one, who is torn between wanting Lizzie and warning her that... BELIEVING IS DANGEROUS.

Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan: High-school junior Leila has made it most of the way through Armstead Academy without having a crush on anyone, which is something of a relief. Her Persian heritage already makes her different from her classmates; if word got out that she liked girls, life would be twice as hard. But when a sophisticated, beautiful new girl, Saskia, shows up, Leila starts to take risks she never thought she would, especially when it looks as if the attraction between them is mutual. Struggling to sort out her growing feelings and Saskia's confusing signals, Leila confides in her old friend, Lisa, and grows closer to her fellow drama tech-crew members, especially Tomas, whose comments about his own sexuality are frank, funny, wise, and sometimes painful. Gradually, Leila begins to see that almost all her classmates are more complicated than they first appear to be, and many are keeping fascinating secrets of their own.

Ask the Passengers by A.S. King: Astrid Jones desperately wants to confide in someone, but her mother's pushiness and her father's lack of interest tell her they're the last people she can trust. Instead, Astrid spends hours lying on the backyard picnic table watching airplanes fly overhead. She doesn't know the passengers inside, but they're the only people who won't judge her when she asks them her most personal questions--like what it means that she's falling in love with a girl. As her secret relationship becomes more intense and her friends demand answers, Astrid has nowhere left to turn. She can't share the truth with anyone except the people at thirty thousand feet, and they don't even know she's there. But little does Astrid know just how much even the tiniest connection will affect these strangers' lives--and her own--for the better. In this truly original portrayal of a girl struggling to break free of society's definitions, Printz Honor author A.S. King asks readers to question everything--and offers hope to those who will never stop seeking real love.  

Between You and Me by Marisa Calin: Phyre knows there is something life-changing about her new drama teacher, Mia, from the moment they meet. As Phyre rehearses for the school play, she comes to realize that the unrequited feelings she has for Mia go deeper than she’s ever experienced. Especially with a teacher. Or a woman. All the while, Phyre’s best friend—addressed throughout the story in the second person, as "you"—stands by, ready to help Phyre make sense of her feelings. But just as Mia doesn’t understand what Phyre feels, Phyre can’t fathom the depth of her best friend’s feelings . . . until it’s almost too late for a happy ending. Characters come to life through the innovative screenplay format of this dazzling debut, and unanswered questions—is "you" male or female?—will have readers talking. [Notes: Alright, so. This one sounds like it could get sketchy, but we’ll try it out anyway].

MLM: 

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz: Aristotle is an angry teen with a brother in prison. Dante is a know-it-all who has an unusual way of looking at the world. When the two meet at the swimming pool, they seem to have nothing in common. But as the loners start spending time together, they discover that they share a special friendship—the kind that changes lives and lasts a lifetime. And it is through this friendship that Ari and Dante will learn the most important truths about themselves and the kind of people they want to be.  

Bi-Normal by M. G. Higgens: Brett Miller is one of the kings of Elkhead High. Everyone knows the kings rule the school. Football stars. Pretty girls. The in-crowd. Brett and his buddies are the tormentors; nobody messes with them. Then Brett meets Zach …”It’s a crush. I’m crushing on a friggin’ guy. That’s sick. And I don’t know what to do about it. … I want these feelings to go away. At the same time, I don’t want them to go away.” And his life is turned inside out. Everything he knows about himself is wrong. And he doesn’t have anywhere to turn for answers. He’s heard the word “bi” before; it has nothing to do with him. But in his gut he knows. And he doesn’t have a clue what to do about it.  

Trans:

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky:  Alone at home, twelve-year-old Grayson Sender glows, immersed in beautiful thoughts and dreams. But at school, Grayson grasps at shadows, determined to fly under the radar. Because Grayson has been holding onto a secret for what seems like forever: “he” is a girl on the inside, stuck in the wrong gender’s body.The weight of this secret is crushing, but leaving it behind would mean facing ridicule, scorn, and rejection. Despite these dangers, Grayson’s true self itches to break free. Strengthened by an unexpected friendship and a caring teacher who gives her a chance to step into the spotlight, Grayson might finally have the tools to let her inner light shine. [Notes: This is actually middle grade lit, one of the first of its kind].

I Am J by Cris Beam: J always felt different. He was certain that eventually everyone would understand who he really was; a boy mistakenly born as a girl. Yet as he grew up, his body began to betray him; eventually J stopped praying to wake up a "real boy" and started covering up his body, keeping himself invisible - from his family, from his friends...from the world. But after being deserted by the best friend he thought would always be by his side, J decides that he's done hiding - it's time to be who he really is. And this time he is determined not to give up, no matter the cost.

Almost Perfect by Brian Katcher: Everyone has that one line they swear they’ll never cross, the one thing they say they’ll never do. We draw the line. Maybe we even believe it. Sage Hendricks was my line. Logan Witherspoon befriends Sage Hendricks at a time when he no longer trusts or believes in people. As time goes on, he finds himself drawn to Sage, pulled in by her deep, but sexy feminine voice and her constant smile. Eventually Logan’s feelings for Sage grow so strong that he can’t resist kissing her. Moments later, he wishes he never had. Sage finally discloses her big secret: she was born a boy. Enraged, frightened, and feeling betrayed, Logan lashes out at Sage. Once his anger has cooled, however, his regrets lead him to attempt to rekindle their friendship. But it’s hard to replace something that’s been broken—and it’s even harder to find your way back to friendship when you began with love. [Notes: This one.... does not look like it will be the best, so read at your own risk. I could be wrong, though].  

Being Emily by Rachel Gold:  They say that whoever you are it’s okay, you were born that way. Those words don’t comfort Emily, because she was born Christopher and her insides know that her outsides are all wrong. They say that it gets better, be who are you and it’ll be fine. For Emily, telling her parents who she really is means a therapist who insists Christopher is normal and Emily is sick. Telling her girlfriend means lectures about how God doesn’t make that kind of mistake. Emily desperately wants high school in her small Minnesota town to get better. She wants to be the woman she knows is inside, but it’s not until a substitute therapist and a girl named Natalie come into her life that she believes she has a chance of actually Being Emily.

Happy Families by Tanita S. Davis: Teenage twins Ysabel and Justin Nicholas are lucky. Ysabel's jewelry designs have already caught the eyes of the art world and Justin's intelligence and drive are sure to gain him entrance into the most prestigious of colleges. They even like their parents. But their father has a secret—one that threatens to destroy the twins' happy family and life as they know it. Over the course of spring break, Ysabel and Justin will be forced to come to terms with their dad's new life, but can they overcome their fears to piece together their happy family again?

Brooklyn, Burning by Steve Brezenoff: Gorgeous, sad, and hopeful Brooklyn, Burning is a love letter to Brooklyn, a love letter to music booming from the basement, and most of all, a love letter to every kind of love (but especially the punk rock kind). [Notes: This is really vague, but from what I understand, its about a trans teenager not finding love at home, so they “search for it on the streets”.]  

Luna by Julie Anne Peters: Regan’s brother Liam can’t stand the person he is during the day. Like the moon from whom Liam has chosen his female namesake, his true self, Luna, only reveals herself at night. In the secrecy of his basement bedroom Liam transforms himself into the beautiful girl he longs to be, with help from his sister’s clothes and makeup. Now, everything is about to change-Luna is preparing to emerge from her cocoon. But are Liam’s family and friends ready to welcome Luna into their lives?Compelling and provocative, this is an unforgettable novel about a transgender teen’s struggle for self-identity and acceptance.

Asexual:

How to Say Goodbye in Robot by Natalie Standiford:  From bestselling author Natalie Standiford, an amazing, touching story of two friends navigating the dark waters of their senior year. New to town, Beatrice is expecting her new best friend to be one of the girls she meets on the first day. But instead, the alphabet conspires to seat her next to Jonah, aka Ghost Boy, a quiet loner who hasn't made a new friend since third grade. Something about him, though, gets to Bea, and soon they form an unexpected friendship. It's not romance, exactly - but it's definitely love. Still, Bea can't quite dispel Jonah's gloom and doom - and as she finds out his family history, she understands why. Can Bea help Jonah? Or is he destined to vanish?

Bonus Round: 

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray: When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they struggle to survive, to get along with one another, to combat the island's other diabolical occupants, and to learn their dance numbers in case they are rescued in time for the competition. [Notes: Obviously, this one seems a bit.... out there. But I know a lot of people seem to like it, and it has just about the whole spectrum of representation. I say have at it].

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan: Seventeen-year-old Sahar has been in love with her best friend, Nasrin, since they were six. They’ve shared stolen kisses and romantic promises. But Iran is a dangerous place for two girls in love—Sahar and Nasrin could be beaten, imprisoned, even executed if their relationship came to light. So they carry on in secret—until Nasrin’s parents announce that they’ve arranged for her marriage. Nasrin tries to persuade Sahar that they can go on as they have been, only now with new comforts provided by the decent, well-to-do doctor Nasrin will marry. But Sahar dreams of loving Nasrin exclusively—and openly. Then Sahar discovers what seems like the perfect solution. In Iran, homosexuality may be a crime, but to be a man trapped in a woman’s body is seen as nature’s mistake, and sex reassignment is legal and accessible. As a man, Sahar could be the one to marry Nasrin. Sahar will never be able to love the one she wants, in the body she wants to be loved in, without risking her life. Is saving her love worth sacrificing her true self? [Notes: WLW +trans (obviously).I’ve heard the ending isn’t great, but there’s no death.] 

Boyfriends With Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez: Lance has always known he was gay, but he’s never had a real boyfriend. Sergio is bisexual, but his only real relationship was with a girl. When the two of them meet, they have an instant connection–but will it be enough to overcome their differences?Allie’s been in a relationship with a guy for the last two years–but when she meets Kimiko, she can’t get her out of her mind. Does this mean she’s gay? Does it mean she’s bi? Kimiko, falling hard for Allie, and finding it impossible to believe that a gorgeous girl like Allie would be into her, is willing to stick around and help Allie figure it out. [Notes: WLW and MLM.]

Geography Club by Brent Hartinger: Russel Middlebrook is convinced he’s the only gay kid at Goodkind High School.Then his online gay chat buddy turns out to be none other than Kevin, the popular but closeted star of the school’s baseball team. Soon Russel meets other gay students, too. There’s his best friend Min, who reveals that she is bisexual, and her soccer-playing girlfriend Terese. Then there’s Terese’s politically active friend, Ike.But how can kids this diverse get together without drawing attention to themselves?”We just choose a club that’s so boring, nobody in their right mind would ever in a million years join it. We could call it Geography Club!”Brent Hartinger’s debut novel is a fast-paced, funny, and trenchant portrait of contemporary teenagers who may not learn any actual geography in their latest club, but who learn plenty about the treacherous social terrain of high school and the even more dangerous landscape of the human heart. [Notes: MLM and WLW].

[randomguywholikesstuff]

Quotes From: Jonathan Haidt. “The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom”[2]

Reprocity

“Reciprocity is a deep instinct; it is the basic currency of social life...

For all the nonhuman ultrasoeial species, that feature was the genetics of kin altruism....

Here's where the ancestors of bees, termites, and mole rats took the common mechanism of kin altruism, which makes many species sociable, and parlayed it6 into the foundation of their u nco m m o n ultrasociality: They are all siblings. T h o s e species each evolved a reproduction system in which a single queen produces all the children, and nearly all the children are either sterile (ants) or else their reproductive abilities are suppressed (bees, mole rats); therefore, a hive, nest, or colony of these animals is one big family...

We h u m a n s also try to extend the reach of kin altruism by using fictitious kinship n a m e s for nonrelatives, as when children are encouraged to call their parents' friends Uncle Bob and Aunt Sarah”

“The human mind finds kinship deeply appealing, and kin altruism surely underlies the cultural ubiquity of nepotism”

“In his insightful book Influence, Robert Cialdinj of Arizona S t a t e University cites this a n d other s t u d i e s as e v i d e n c e that p e o p l e h a v e a mindless, automatic reciprocity reflex. Like other animals, we will p e r f o r m certain behaviors w h e n the world p r e s e n t s us with certain patterns of input...

ethological reflex: a p e r s o n receives a favor from an a c q u a i n t a n c e a n d wants to repay the favor...

“So what is really built into the person is a strategy: Play tit for tat. Do to others wha t they do unto you .”

“Like the Godfather, bats play tit for tat, and so do other social animals, particularly those that live in relatively small, stable groups where individuals can recognize each other as individuals.12”

“Vengeance and gratitude are moral sentiments that amplify and enforce tit' for tat. Vengeful and grateful feelings appear to have evolved precisely b e c a u s e they are such useful tools for helping individuals create cooperative relationships, thereby reaping the gains from non-zero-sum g a m e s . 1 3 A species equipped with vengeance and gratitude responses can support”

“larger and more cooperative social groups because the payoff to cheaters is reduced by the costs they bear in making enemies.Conversely, the benefits of generosity are increased because one gains friends.”

“the logarithm of the brain size is almost perfectly proportional to the logarithm of the social group size. In other words, all over the animal kingdom, brains grow to m a n a g e larger and larger groups. Social animals are smart animals”

Gossip 

“Language allows small groups of people to bond quickly and to learn from each other about the bonds of others..

in short, Dunbar proposes that language evolved because it enabled gossip. Individuals who could share social information, using any primitive means of communication, had an advantage over those who could not...

And once people began gossiping, there was a runaway competition to master the arts of social manipulation, relationship aggression, and reputation management, all of which require yet more brain power”

“Gossip elicits gossip, and it enables us to keep track of everyone's reputation without having to witness their good and bad deeds personally...

Gossip creates a non-zero-sum game because it costs us nothing to give each other information, yet we both benefit by receiving information...

In a world with no gossip, people would not get away with murder but they would get away with a trail of rude, selfish, and antisocial acts, often oblivious to their own violations. Gossip extends our moral—emotional toolkit. In a gos-sipy world, we don't just feel vengeance and gratitude toward those who hurt or help us; we feel pale but still instructive flashes of c o n t e m p t and anger toward people whom we might not even know. We feel vicarious s h a m e and embarrassment when we hear about people whose s c h e m e s , lusts, and private failings are exposed. G o s s i p is a policeman and a teacher.

Without it, there would be chaos and ignorance...

As long as everyone plays tit-for tat a u g m e n t e d by gratitude, vengeance, and gossip, the whole system should work beautifully. (It rarely does, however, because of our self-serving biases a n d massive hypocrisy.”

 Reprocity in Intimate Relaitonships

“Relationships are exquisitely sensitive to balance in their early stages, and a great way to ruin things is either to give too m u c h (you seem perhaps a bit desperate) or too little (you seem cold and rejecting). Rather, relationships grow best by balanced give and take, especially of gifts, favors, attention, and self-disclosure...

people often don't realize the degree to which the disclosure of personal information is a gambit in the d a t i n g game. W h e n s o m e o n e tells you about past romantic relationships, there is conversational pressure for you to do the same. If this disclosure card is played too early, you might feel ambivalence—your reciprocity reflex m a k e s you prepare your own matching disclosure but s o m e other part of you resists sharing intimate details with a near-stranger”

“humans are partially hive creatures, like bees, yet in the modern world we spend nearly all our time outside of the hive. Reciprocity, like love, reconnects us with others”

Hypocrisy

“There is a special pleasure in the irony of a moralist brought down for the very moral failings he has condemned. It's the pleasure of a well-told joke. With hypocrisy, the hypocrite's preaching is the setup, the hypocritical action is the punch line”

“Players f a c e a binary choice at each point: They can cooperate or defect. Each player then reacts to what the other player did in the previous round.

In real life, however, you don't react to what someone did; you react only to what you think she did, and the gap b e t w e e n action and p e r c e p t i o n is bridged by the art of impression management. If life itself is but what you deem it, then why not focus your efforts on persuading others to believe that you are a virtuous and trustworthy cooperator?”

“Niccolo Machiavelli”

“the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are...

People who reported being most concerned about caring for others and about issues of social responsibility were more likely to open the bag, but they were not more likely to give the other person the positive task. In other words, people who think they are particularly moral are in fact more likely to "do the right thing" and flip the coin but when the coin flip comes out against them, they find a way to ignore it and follow their own self-interest. Batson called this tendency to value the appearance of morality over the reality "moral hypocrisy”

“We are well-armed for battle in a Machiavellian world of reputation manipulation, and one of our most important weapons is the delusion that we are non-combatants. How do we get away with it?”

Confirmation Bias

“Studies of "motivated reasoning"13 show that people who are motivated to reach a particular conclusion are even worse reasoners than those in Kuhn's and Perkins's studies, but the mechanism is basically the s a m e : a one-sided search for supporting evidence only...

Over and over again, studies show that people set out on a cognitive mission to bring back reasons to support their preferred belief or action. And because we are usually successful in this mission, we end up with the illusion of objectivity. We really believe that our position is rationally and objectively justified...

“the rider—your c o n s c i o u s , reasoning self; a n d he is taking orders from the elephant—your automatic and u n c o n s c i o u s self. T h e two are in c a h o o t s to win at the g a m e of life by playing Machiavellian tit for tat, and both are in denial about it...

To win at this g a m e you m u s t present your best possible self to others.”

Self Comparisons

“W h e n comparing ourselves to others, the general process is this: F r a m e the question (unconsciously, automatically) so that the trait in q u e s t i o n is related to a self-perceived strength, then go out and look for e v i d e n c e that you have the strength...

In fact, evidence shows that people who hold pervasive positive illusions about themselves, their abilities, and their future prospects are mentally healthier, happier, and better liked than people who lack such illusions. But such biases can make people feel that they deserve more than they do, thereby setting the stage for endless disputes with other people who feel equally over-entitled....

Whenever people form cooperative groups, which are usually of mutual benefit, self-serving biases threaten to fill group m e m b e r s with mutual resentment.”

Naive Realism

“Pronin and Ross trace this resistance to a phenomenon they call "naive realism": Each of us thinks we see the world directly, as it really is. We further believe that the facts as we see them are there for all to see, therefore others should agree with us. If they don't agree, it follows either that they have not yet been exposed to the relevant facts or else that they are blinded by their interests and ideologies. People acknowledge that their own backgrounds have shaped their views, but such experiences are invariably seen as deepening one's insights; for example, being a doctor gives a person special insight into the problems of the health-care industry. But the background of other people is used to explain their biases and covert motivations;...

It just seems plain as day, to the naive realist, that everyone is influenced by ideology and self-interest”

“If I could nominate one candidate for "biggest obstacle to world p e a c e and social harmony," it would be naive realism because it is so easily ratcheted up from the individual to the group level: My group is right b e c a u s e we see things as they are. T h o s e who disagree are obviously biased by their religion, their ideology, or their self-interest. Naive realism gives us a world full of good and evil, and this brings us to the most disturbing implication of the sages' advice about hypocrisy: Good and evil do not exist outside of our beliefs about them.”

“The myth of pure evil is the ultimate self-serving bias, the ultimate form of naive realism. And it is the ultimate cause of most long-running cycles of violence because both sides use it to lock themselves into a Manichaean struggle”

“In another unsettling conclusion, Baumeister found that violence and cruelty have four main causes. The first two are obvious attributes of evil: greed/ambition (violence for direct personal gain, as in robbery) and sadism (pleasure in hurting people). But greed/ambition explains only a small portion of violence, and sadism explains almost none. Outside of children's car-toons and horror films, people almost never hurt others for the sheer joy of hurting someone. The two biggest causes of evil are two that we think are good, and that we try to encourage in our children: high self-esteem and moral idealism. Having high self-esteem doesn't directly cause violence, but when someone's high esteem is unrealistic or narcissistic, it is easily threatened by reality; in reaction to those threats, people—particularly young men—often lash out violently...

Threatened self-esteem accounts for a large portion of violence at the individual level, but to really get a mass atrocity going you need idealism—the belief that your violence is a means to a moral end. Idealism easily becomes dangerous because it brings with it, almost inevitably, the belief that the ends justify the means. But when a moral mission and legal rules are incompatible, we usually care more about the mission. They want the "good guys" freed by any means, and the "bad guys" convicted by any means...

The anthropologist Clifford Geertz wrote that "man is an animal suspended in webs of significance that he himself has spun”

Leveraging Repocity and Perception

“That is, the world we live in is not really one made of rocks, trees, and physical objects; it is a world of insults, opportunities, status symbols, betrayals, saints, and sinners. All of these are human creations which, though real in their own way, are not real in the way that rocks and trees are real. T h e s e human creations are like fairies in J. M. Barries Peter Pan: They exist only if you believe in t h e m .”

“Feeling Good, a popular guide to cognitive therapy, David Burns has written a chapter on cognitive therapy for anger...

Burns focuses on the should statements we carry around—ideas about how the world should work, and about how people should treat us...

Violations of these should statements are the major c a u s e s of anger and resentment...

Finding fault with yourself is also the key to overcoming the hypocrisy and judgmentalism that damage so many valuable relationships...

You can take a small piece of the disagreement and say, "I should not have done X, and I can see why you felt Y." Then, by the power of reciprocity, the other person will likely feel a strong urge to say, "Yes, I was really upset by X. But I guess I shouldn't have done P, so I can see why you felt Q . " Reciprocity amplified by self-serving biases drove you apart back when you were matching insults or hostile gestures, but you can turn the process around and use reciprocity to end a conflict and save a relationship”

“People win at the game of life by achieving high status and a good reputation, cultivating friendships, finding the best mate(s), accumulating resources, and rearing their children to be successful at the same game. People have many goals and therefore many sources of pleasure”

Positive Affect

“two types of positive affect. T h e first he calls "pre-goal attainment positive affect," which is the pleasurable feeling you get as you make progress toward a goal. T h e second is called "post-goal attainment positive affect," which Davidson says arises once you .have achieved something you want. In other words, when it comes to goal pursuit, it really is the journey that counts, not the destination. Set for yourself any goal you want. Most of the pleasure will be had along the way, with every step that takes you closer”

The Progress Principle

“the progress principle": Pleasure comes more from making progress toward goals than from achieving them...

We are bad at "affective forecasting" that is, predicting how we'll feel in the future. We grossly overestimate the intensity and the duration of our emotional reactions. T h e human mind is extraordinarily sensitive to changes in conditions, but not so sensitive to absolute levels”

Adaptation Principle

“This is the adaptation principle at work: People's judgments about their present state are based on whether it is better or worse than the state to which they have become accustomed...

Instead of following Buddhist and Stoic advice to surrender attachments and let events happen, we surround ourselves with goals, hopes, and expectations, and then feel pleasure and pain in relation to our progress”

“In every permanent situation, where there is no expectation of change, the mind of every man, in a longer or shorter time, returns to its natural and usual state of tranquility. In prosperity, after a certain time, it falls back to that state; in adversity, after a certain time, it rises up to it.”

Happiness and Marriage

“Happiness causes marriage. Happy people marry sooner and stay married longer than people with a lower happiness setpoint, both because they are more appealing as dating partners and because they are easier to live with as spouses. But much of the apparent benefit is a real and lasting benefit of dependable companionship, which is a basic need; we never fully adapt either to it or to its absence...

a string of objective advantages in power, status, freedom, health, and sunshine—all of which are subject to the adaptation principle”

“Happy people grow rich faster because, as in the marriage market, they are more appealing to others (such as bosses), and also b e c a u s e their frequent positive emotions help them to commit to projects, to work hard, and to invest in their futures”

“One of the most consistent lessons the ancient sages teach is to let go, stop striving, and choose a new path”

Happiness Formula 

“fundamentally different kinds of externals: the conditions of your life and the voluntary activities that you undertake”

“Conditions include facts about your life that you can't change (race, sex, age, disability) as well as things that you can (wealth, marital status, where you live). Conditions are constant over time, at least during a period in your life, and so they are the sorts of things that you are likely to adapt to.

Voluntary activities, on the other hand, are the things that you choose to do, such as meditation, exercise, learning a new skill, or taking a vacation. B e c a u s e s u c h activities must be chosen, and because most of them take effort and attention, they can't just disappear from your awareness the way conditions can.. Voluntary activities, therefore, offer m u c h greater promise for increasing happiness while avoiding adaptation effects”

“happiness formula: H = S + C + V”

“Th e level of happiness that you actually experience (H) is determined by your biological set point (S) plus the conditions of your life ( C ) plus the voluntary activities (V) you do.”

“Noise, especially noise that is variable or intermittent, interferes with concentration and increases stress.35 It's.worth striving to remove sources of noise in your life...

subjects who thought they had control were more persistent when working on difficult puzzles, but the subjects who had experienced noise without control gave up more easily.. 

changing an institution's environment to increase the sense of control among its workers, students, patients, or other users was one of the most effective possible ways to increase their sense of engagement, energy, and happiness...

freed from such a daily burden may lead to a lasting increase in self-confidence and well-being.”

Relationships Importance

“T h e condition that is usually said to trump all others in importance is the strength and number of a person's relationships. Good relationships make people happy, and happy people enjoy more and better relationships than unhappy people”

“conflicts in relationships is one of the surest ways to reduce your happiness. You never adapt to interpersonal conflict; it damages every day, even days when you don't see the other person but ruminate about the conflict nonetheless.”

Flow and Pleasure (fleeting) vs Gratification (fulfilling)

“It is the state of total immersion in a task that is challenging yet closely matched to one's abilities. T h e keys to flow: There's a clear challenge that fully engages your attention; you have the skills to meet the challenge; and you get immediate feedback about how you are doing at each step (the progress principle)...

In the flow experience, elephant and rider are in perfect harmony. T h e elephant (automatic processes) is doing most of the work, running smoothly through the forest, while the rider (conscious thought) is completely absorbed in looking out for problems and opportunities, helping wherever he can...

Seligman proposes a fundamental distinction between pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures are "delights that have clear sensory and strong emotional components, such as may be derived from food, sex, backrubs, and cool breezes. Gratifications are activities that engage you fully, draw on your strengths, and allow you to lose self-consciousness. Gratifications can lead to flow... Pleasures must be spaced to maintain their potency...

the elephant has a tendency to over-indulge, the rider needs to encourage it to get up and move on to another activity. Variety is the spice of life b e c a u s e it is the natural enemy of adaptation. The key to finding your own gratifications is to know your own strengths... and development of a catalog of strengths”

“You can increase your happiness if you use your strengths, particularly in the service of strengthening c o n n e c t i o n s — h e l p i n g friends, e x p r e s s i n g gratitude to benefactors...

Performing a random act of kindness every day could get tedious, but if you know your strengths a n d draw up a list of five activities that engage them, you can surely a d d at least o n e gratification to every day ...

choose your own gratifying activities, do them regularly (but not to the point of tedium), and raise your overall level of h a p p i n e s s”

“Evolution s e e m s to have m a d e us "strategically irrational" at times for our own good”

“another kind of irrationality: the vigor with which people pursue many goals that work against their o w n h a p p i n e s s.

Happiness and Consumerism

“Inconspicuous consumption, on the other hand, refers to goods and activities that are valued for themselves, that are usually consumed more privately, and that are not bought for the purpose of achieving status”

“experiences give more happiness in part b e c a u s e they have greater social value..

The elephant cares about prestige, not happiness, and it looks eternally to others to figure out what is prestigious...

The pursuit of luxury g o o d s is a happiness trap; it is a d e a d end that people race toward in the mistaken belief that it will make them h a p p y”

Paradox of Choice

" psychologist Barry Schwartz calls this the "paradox of choice"...

We value choice and put ourselves in situations of choice, even though choice often undercuts our happiness. But Schwartz and his colleagues find that the paradox mostly applies to people they call "maximizers"—those who habitually try to evaluate all the options, seek out more information, and make the best choice (or "maximize their utility," as economists would say)...

Maximizers end up making slightly better decisions than satisficers, on average (all that worry and information-gathering does help), but they are less happy with their decisions, and they are more inclined to depression and anxiety...

T h e point here is that maximizers engage in more social comparison, and are therefore more easily drawn into conspicuous consumption.”

“cybernetics—the study of how mechanical and biological systems can regulate themselves to achieve preset goals while the environment around and inside them changes.”

Attachment Theory and Childhood Development

“Attachment theory begins with the idea that two basic goals guide children's behavior: safety and exploration. A child who stays safe survives; a child who explores and plays develops the skills and intelligence needed for adult life...

If you want your children to grow up to be healthy and independent, you should hold them, hug them, cuddle them, and love them. Give them a secure base and they will explore and then conquer the world on their own...

he observed mothers at home and found that those who were warm and highly responsive to their children were most likely to have children who showed secure attachment in the strange situation. These children had learned that they could count on their mothers, and were therefore the most bold and confident. Mothers who were aloof and unresponsive were more likely to have avoidant children, who had learned not to expect much help and comfort from mom. Mothers whose responses were erratic and unpredictable were more likely to have resistant children, who had learned that their efforts to elicit comfort sometimes paid off, but sometimes not.

My skepticism is bolstered by the fact that studies done after Ainsworth's h o m e study have generally found only small correlations between mothers' responsiveness and the attachment style of their children.18”

No one event is particularly important, but over lime the child builds up what Bowlby called an "internal working m o d e l " of himself, his mother, and their relationship. If the model says that m o m is always there for you, you'll be bolder in your play and explorations. Round after round, predictable and reciprocal interactions build trust and strengthen the relationship

“fake one ancient attachment system, mix with an equal m e a s u r e of caregiving system, throw in a modified mating system and voila, that's romantic love”

Myth of True Love: Passionate vs Companionate Love

“As I see it, the modern myth of true love involves these beliefs: True love is passionate love that never fades; if you are in true love, you should marry that person; if love ends, you should leave that person because it was not true love; and if you can find the right person, you will have true love forever”

30 December 2016

“According to the love researchers Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster, passionate love is a "wildly emotional state in which tender and sexual feelings, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy coexist in a confusion of feelings.

“Berscheid and Walster define c o m p a n i o n a t e love, in contrast, as "the affection we feel for those with w h o m our lives are deeply intertwined.

“C o m p a n i o n a t e love grows slowly over the years as lovers apply their attachment and caregiving systems to each other, and as they begin to rely u p o n , care for, and trust e a c h other”

“If the m e t a p h o r for passionate love is fire, I he m e t a p h o r for c o m p a n i o n a t e love is vines growing, intertwining, a n d gradually binding two people together”

“At that point, tolerance has set in, and when the drug is withdrawn, the brain is unbalanced in the opposite direction: pain, lethargy, and despair follow withdrawal from cocaine or from passionate love.”

“So if passionate love is a drug—literally a drug—it has to wear off eventually. Nobody can stay high forever (although if you find passionate love in a long-distance relationship, it's like taking cocaine once a month; the drug can retain its potency because of your suffering between doses).”

“The Time Course of the Two Kinds of Love (Short Run) ding”

“True love, the love that undergirds strong marriages, is simply strong companionate love, with some added passion, between two people who are firmly committed to each other..

But if we change the time scale from six months to sixty years, as in the next figure, it is passionate love that seems trivial—a flash in the p a n”

“The Time Course of the Two Kinds of Love (Long Run”

“The Laws of Manu, an ancient Hindu treatise on how young Brahmin men should live, was even more negative about women: "It is the very nature of women to corrupt men here on earth.”

Philosophy of Love

“I have never seen anyone who loved virtue as much as sex.

For Plato, when human love resembles animal love, it is degrading. The love of a man for a woman, as it aims at procreation, is therefore a debased kind of love.”

“The essential nature of love as an attachment between two people is rejected; love can be dignified only when it is converted into an appreciation of beauty in general”

“Rather, Christian love has focused on two key words:- caritas and agape. Caritas (the origin of our word "charity") is a kind of intense benevolence and good will; agape is a Greek word that refers to a kind of selfless, spiritual love with no sexuality, no clinging to a particular other person

There are several reasons why real human love might make philosophers uncomfortable. First, passionate love is notorious for making people illogical and irrational, and Western philosophers have long thought that morality is grounded in rationality...

The extensive regulation of sex in many cultures, the attempt to link love to God and then to cut away the sex, is part of an elaborate defense against the gnawing fear of mortality”

Morality and Social ties

“The more weakened the groups to which [a man] belongs, the less he depends on them, the more he consequently depends only on himself and recognizes no other rules of conduct than what are founded on his private interests...

Having strong social relationships strengthens the immune system, extends life (more than does quitting smoking), speeds recovery from surgery, and reduces the risks of depression and anxiety disorders. It's not just that extroverts are naturally happier and healthier; when introverts are forced to be more outgoing, they usually enjoy it and find that it boosts their mood. Even people who think they don't want a lot of social contact still benefit from it.”

Freedom from Social Norms

“An ideology of extreme personal freedom can be dangerous b e c a u s e it encourages people to leave h o m e s , jobs, cities, and marriages in search of personal and professional fulfillment, thereby breaking the relationships that were probably their best hope for such fulfillment...

S e n e c a was right: " N o one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility...

We are an ultrasocial s p e c i e s , full of emotions finely tuned for loving, befriending, helping, sharing, and otherwise intertwining our lives with others. Attachments and relationships can bring us pain: As a character in Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit said, "Hell is other people."57 But so is heaven.”

The Adversity Hypothesis: Benefit from Adversity

“although traumas, crises, and tragedies c o m e in a thousand forms, people benefit from them in three primary ways..

rising to a challenge reveals your hidden abilities, and seeing these abilities changes your s e l f - c o n c e p t . N o n e of us knows what we are really capable of enduring...

h e second class of benefit concerns relationships. Adversity is a filter.

“When a person is diagnosed with cancer, or a couple loses a child, some friends and family members rise to the occasion and look for any way they can to express support or to be helpful. Others turn away, perhaps unsure of what to say or unable to overcome their own discomfort with the situation.

But adversity doesn't just separate the fair-weather friends from the true; it strengthens relationships and it opens people's hearts to one another. We often develop love for those we care for, and we usually feel love and gratitude toward those who cared for us in a time of need. ...

Trauma changes priorities and philosophies toward the present ("Live each day to the fullest") and toward other people...

T h e reality that people often wake up to is that life is a gift they have b e e n taking for granted, and that people matter m o r e than money...

The adversity hypothesis has a weak and a strong version. In the weak version, adversity can lead to growth, strength, joy, and self-improvement...

T h e weak version is well-supported by research, but it has few clear implications for how we should live our lives. The strong version of the hypothesis is m o r e unsettling: It states that people must endure adversity to grow, and that the highest levels of growth and development are only open to those who have laced and overcome great adversity. If the strong version of the hypothesis is valid, it has profound implications for how we should live our lives and structure our societies. It means that we should take more chances and suffer more defeats...

It means that we might be dangerously overprotecting our children, offering them lives of bland safety and too much counseling while depriving them of the "critical incidents" that would h e l p them to grow strong and to develop the most intense friendships. It m e a n s that heroic societies, which fear dishonor more than death, or societies that struggle together through war, might produce better human beings than can a world of peace and prosperity in which people's expectations rise so high that they sue each other for "emotional damages.”

[fathersonholygore]

Hulu’s The Path Season 2, Episode 12: “Spiritus Mundi” Directed by Sian Heder Written by Coleman Herbert

* For a recap & review of the previous episode, “Defiance” – click here * For a recap & review of the Season 2 finale, “Mercy” – click here In the woods, Mary Cox (Emma Greenwell) finds herself lost after fleeing the car with Sean (Paul James), his mother, and the cult deprogrammer. Now she can’t find her way through the darkness, calling for Cal (Hugh Dancy), for anyone to come get her. Then she gets pains in her stomach, her baby could possibly be in danger. Meanwhile, Abe (Rockmond Dunbar) talks with Eddie (Aaron Paul) about Sarah (Michelle Monaghan) and her blackmail, facing a “4 years minimum sentence” for what she’s done to the Meyerists who once unburdened in the faith and hopes of privacy. So, how do these two men go about navigating the waters ahead? Eddie believes Abe needs to make his own choice, in regards to what he ought to do with the information he’s gathered. At the compound in one of those little white rooms, Cal and Sarah interrogate Richard (Clark Middleton) about taking things to Eddie behind their backs. At the same time, Felicia (Adriane Lenox) is likewise interrogated. Whereas Richard gives them bullshit, Felicia doesn’t mess around and tells them the truth – Steve (Keir Dullea) and the Light intended on Eddie taking up the cause. Nevertheless, Sarah feels betrayed by Richard particularly, wanting to label him a denier. Later when Bill (Brian Stokes Mitchell) arrives, he’s not pleased with what Felicia’s been doing behind his back; he’s also more realistic, in a way, than his partner. He doesn’t believe in the Ladder burning her, calling it all a story, which seems to drive a deep wedge between them right away. She’s not ready to “atone” for anything Cal, Sarah, or Bill want her to, and this really looks like it eats them all up inside; Cal most. Eddie: “Sleep the sleep of the just”

Hank (Peter Friedman) goes to tell Eddie that “they know” and that everything is over. I get the feeling this is going to push Eddie into a dangerous space. Because he knows he’s right, in many respects. But it’s now a question of whether he wants to push things past the breaking point, and whether the Meyerist cult is going to retaliate in an unsettling way. How far is Sarah willing to go, now that she’s gone so far over the line? She wonders if Steve was right, though. About Eddie. After which Cal tells her: “Steve‘s words mean nothing.” If so, for real, how can they go on believing what they believe? Out on the town, Eddie tracks down another denier. A bartender who was kicked out for supposed subordination. All due to a run-in with Cal, because he was getting ahead and Cal wasn’t at the time; Steve was favouring someone else. The guy seemed to have loved Meyerism, for what it was, an enlightening experience of self, but it was Cal, those competitive, weird bits that were the destruction. Cal and Sarah try reassuring everyone, after Richard’s betrayal, that things are going well, and that going forward they’ll be fine. Big, big talk. Hawk (Kyle Allen) and Noa (Britne Oldford) look on proudly. Russel (Patch Darragh) goes to Cal alone to tell him he wants to help “maintain law and order” however possible. Although Hank’s still not sold, even if he pretends to accept things as they lie. And Abe, he drops off his tests about the water in a car – Sarah’s car – in the parking lot. I wonder what this will set in motion.

Out finding more deniers, Eddie convinces others he wants to change the movement. To reform certain policies, to make Meyerism what it’s meant to be and not some insane cult. In the trees, Sarah lurks, watching. He confronts her and tells her the movement can be better. He also lets slip he knows of the blackmail, that the deniers could testify against her. Eddie speaks ominously when he says to his wife: “One way or another, you will be punished.” Whoooa, that was an intense moment courtesy of both Mr. Paul and Ms. Monaghan. When she’s on her way back home a vehicle stars chasing her, ramming the car from behind, before it pushes her into a guardrail and flips her car, crashing hard. What timing, after Eddie’s harsh yet plausible words. Poor Richard wakes up in a homeless shelter, nowhere in the real world that will take him after many years under the veil of Meyerism. Life hasn’t exactly turned out how he expected. He goes to a law school, tracking down a man named Jeremiah (Brian Yang); someone he knew in another life, before the cult. Jeremiah’s married to a nice man, kids, the whole deal. Richard needs a couch to sleep on, but his old friend – a lover, most definitely – can’t oblige after two decades. Sad to see the ruin of a life like Richard’s after believing in a faith that ostracises and pushes people away, often in a violent emotional manner, now coming out the other end worse for wear. Everyone’s worried about Sarah, she hasn’t come home, she hasn’t called. Cal and Hawk assume she’s with Eddie; the two of them and Hank try calling around to find out where she’s disappeared. And Mary, she’s still lost, too. Having complications when her water seems to burst.

In the hospital, Sarah wakes with luckily only a broken arm. At her bedside is Cal. She tells him she was run off the road. More paranoia for them and the movement. She also tells Cal that Eddie knows, of the money, the blackmail. Will this lead them to Abe working undercover? If that’s the case, I worry for him. I never stop worrying about Eddie, either. Only takes a suggestion for Cal to believe he had anything to do with Sarah’s accident. He then takes his suspicions to Hawk, which could make things get ugly. Cal knows what he’s doing by telling him. Rotten and manipulative. Abe is busy building his case. People are brought in to videotape their statements, bringing out all about Sarah taking money from those who once unburdened themselves to Steve and the movement. Back at his place Eddie discovers Hawk waiting, angry. This is disgusting to watch. Cal has manipulated the kid into hating his father, believing the worst of him. He is so far gone he’ll never come back. He wants Eddie to leave, won’t even call him dad anymore. And it breaks the well-meaning father’s heart to hear and see. At the compound Mary is found on the roadside, bloody, unconscious. Her baby happy and healthy, it seems. For the first time Sarah looks at the child, then at Cal, and realises who the father is, truly.

Eddie: “There‘s a fine line between a tool and a weapon” Going to see Eddie, Richard pleads for him not to leave. He wants them to help people, to actually do good instead of letting the bad overcome all the Meyerists worked for over the years. For his part Eddie isn’t willing to fight, not any harder than he has already. Will he come back? Everything for Sarah and Cal has changed. Just in the way she looks at him, it’s evident. He apologises without her saying a word. “I was asleep,” she tells him re: his true self, his behaviour, the bodies and wreckage in Cal’s path. She already knew. However, what does she do now that she’s “wide fucking awake” after all this time? Things have really taken a turn, in all respects, during this episode. While everyone in the movement has a ceremony for the baby, Richard shows up, declaring Eddie Lane as the true leader. He locks everyone inside their little church, calling Cal a “snake” and yelling for anyone nearby to hear. He heads to the records room. As Sarah and a guard try to get in, Richard produces a gas can; is he really going to light all those files, the tapes, himself, and the whole place on fire? An excellently edited sequence sees Richard pouring gas as Eddie fills his car with gas elsewhere; Eddie feels something happening. Haunting score, intense cuts, perfect acting. Before Richard lights the place, he urges Sarah to run. And she obliges. What an intense episode! WOW. Richard sacrificed himself to something greater, for real. No Ladder, no Light. He sacrificed himself, and now where does the movement go from here? Likewise, does this put a wrench into the works for Abe or does he already have enough information to bury Sarah, Cal, and the entire cult? We’ll see. Only one episode left, titled “Mercy” – and then it’s Season 3, or bust. I hope they’ll give us another one, depending on how the season finishes. Excited to watch what’ll unfold. The Path – Season 2, Episode 12: “Spiritus Mundi” Hulu's The Path Season 2, Episode 12: "Spiritus Mundi" Directed by Sian Heder…