#real-deal italian spots

[honeyyjems]

sfw + nsfw headcanons

content warning (s): mature language - mention of asphyxiation - spitting - biting - exhibitionism - overstimulation - oral sex (fem receiving) -  daddy kink - hand kink - breeding - unprotected sex - corruption - slight slapping - hard dom! porco 

pairing: porco galliard x fem!reader

word count: 2.6k

a/n: i wanted to use this as a prep for my lifeguard! porco for @taixju summer collab (x) but that will be 100% dirtier and filthy. I have been having brainrot of him since he’s been animated *screech* i wanted to write more but you get the gist

banner credit: made it myself but porco fanart artist creds to @/KinNiku_OishiiZ on twitter

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✯   Porco isn't much for relationships and mostly plays around with others; however, all of his morals did a whole 360 once you stepped into his life.

✯   Very much a cocky, stuck-up man, and knows what exactly to make one fluster but doesn't know how to react when someone can actually deal with his bullshit. 

✯   He is attracted to confident women who are assured of themselves, he does have a soft spot for shy girls because he knows just what to say to make them stutter.

✯   Porco is a hard worker and down bad for a hard-working woman because he knows if they want something, they will do anything to achieve that.

✯   Gives you cute pet names/classic ones like doll, darling, baby, bubs, love, honey, sweets, and amor.

✯   Porco comes from an Italian family, plain and simple. An Italian man with hints of his Italian accent.

✯   Although Porco has a mean facade towards everyone, he is a real sweetheart and kind human being, and that's what attracted you to him. He can be an angry and grumpy bean, he still cares and loves in his weird unique way, especially the ones he cares for deeply.

✯   He knows when something is wrong with you and wants to get down to what the problem is, he is always there for you and up for a vent if you need one.

✯   Porco knows you can overwork and pile much on your shoulders, so he does his part. If that may be acts of service or just being there, he always manages to always keep a smile on your face; it is what he loves most about you.

✯   Porco is your best friend in one and KNOWS you better than yourself; he is your equal and brings out the best in you.

✯   Porco bullied others for being romantic to their significant others but he really is a secret sweet tooth romantic and anything that is cheesy, already has it planned.

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✯   Definitely would be very cocky and stuck up around you because of his crush on you, thinking it would go in a good direction because he has no brains and doesn't think before he acts. He is much rather surprised to see you snap back at him with each comment or rather how you ignore him.

✯   Each passing day, he notices how he's always looking for you, waiting to see what you’ll say back or the annoying side looks you give him that he finds oh so cute.

✯   After finally getting the guts to ask you out, Porco would be the one to go out of his way to coordinate dates like visiting parks, cafes, museums, and different bookstores to check out on each date. He is a very big bookworm but you didn't know that until your third date. so we already know he will want to visit every possible local bookstore with you.

✯   He was the first to say “I love you”, and it did take some time for him. He wanted to be sure of himself because he knew you were, he was mesmerized at how beautiful you looked with the warm lights reflecting off of you, as you read together in his bedroom so caught up in the moment, he mumbled “I love you.” catching you a bit off guard but you always knew you loved him from the first stupid comment he made when you first met. Returning the mutual feeling made him push up his reading glasses to poorly hide his crimson shade cheeks.

✯   Book reading dates are something special because you and Porco both have a mutual love for books, no matter the genre or length they can be, that’s why he’s the best to have as a book buddy. He would ensure he had all the annotating supplies ready, even going as far as getting your favorite latte or drink before coming over.

✯   He loves to see your facial expressions while you read, the little giggles you let out make his heart flutter, pausing his reading; Porco really does love your smile. The way he feels all warm inside because he falls for you all over again as if he isn’t already. 

✯   Porco was interested in these "spicy" books you talked about because you frequently get flustered which led you to get up and "take a lap", so he read along with you. He wants to get in on the action too

✯   Sometimes the dates can get steamy, blame the erotic books you buddy read together, but you nudge him on and leave him to always say, “why don't we recreate this scene ourselves rather than reading it?”; it was way better experiencing it than reading.

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✯   OVERLY handsy person, he will find any opportunity to have his hands on you; placing his hand into your back pocket, basically cupping your ass, hooking his finger onto your beltline, and wrapping his arms around your waist

✯   Hugs from him are just the best, although Porco is the size of fucking Mount Everest, the way his body fits perfectly into yours. Hugs from behind would be his signature move, he loves to hear you yelp in surprise and nudge your butt back into him while placing his chin on top of your head.

✯   Porco is the most loudly jealous person, but his actions would speak louder than words. If there are a group of guys eyeing you down, he places his arm around your waist and brings you in to trace his long finger over your lips, no kiss is needed. You know exactly what he was trying to do, make it loud and clear your his.

✯   As mentioned before, Porco loves having his hands on you, sometimes being a little too excessive but you love the feeling of his large calloused hands on the low of your back.

✯   Porco loves your hands, although you hate them, he loves the soft and warmness it gives him. Your hands are much smaller compared to his but he loves how delicate they look in his.

✯   He DEFINITELY buys you rings just to fidget with them when you hold hands

✯   Porco notices the small glances you give his large hands and fingers so he messages pictures of his veiny hands and arms post-workout; queue mutual hand kinks

✯   When you would be feeling down or not yourself, Porco knows just what to do to help make you feel better. If you didn't want to talk about it, he would just hold you close to him to let you know that he is there for you. 

✯   Cuddling would be the best because he is like a giant human furnace, there is no blanket needed but sometimes you do need to push him away causing him to whine.

✯   Porco has been with many girls, there are no questions about that, but he very much is careful and worships you.  He reassures your insecurities, as there is really nothing to be insecure about, and very much praises your whole body, all the imperfections you see are perfect to him. He has never felt this way about anyone and he holds that dear to him,  there is nobody like the way you smile, smell, and soft finger trances you leave behind on his skin, which is what makes you special.

✯   He loves to trace his fingers over your stretch marks, connect the dots with the freckles on your body, and caress your tummy. Simply would love to have his head on your chest to hear the way your heart beats and soft breathing.

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✯   Porco was a very much well-known manwhore before meeting you, he knows how to please a woman and what makes them quiver under his touch.

✯   Porco’s cock is a little above average his ego is crumbling, quite beefy, and has a very good girth to it. He likes to keep it trimmed and not completely shaven but has a light happy trail.

✯   Although he may have a little above average dick, Porco knows how to give you a proper fuck, and have you creaming on his cock.

✯   Porco was a nervous bitch in the beginning with you. He wanted to make sure he was making you feel good, he gets more aroused when he knows he’s pleasuring you; however, he has never easily gotten a hard-on just from a simple makeout sesh nor had a woman that can keep up with him.

✯   Just having you make out on top of him while grinding against his cock would make him drip precum. The sounds of your pretty moans against his mouth, and the way you tug on his undercut literally will make him combust.

✯   Porco has never had a woman make him easily come undone but he swears you have something, also don't moan too hot or he’ll rip all your clothes off but he knows you love that oh so much.

✯   Porco is very much handsy during book reading dates and will have you sit in between his legs, fingering you, while you read your erotic book. Hearing your soft pants and heavy breathing as you try to concentrate. He loves watching you struggle so he bites on your ear lobe to make it even better for him.

✯   Porco has many kinks: degradation, praise kink, hair pulling, dirty talk, choking, asphyxiation, spitting, spanking, biting, exhibitionism, overstimulation, and pet names like sweet girl, pretty girl, baby. He loves it when he is in control and call him sir, or especially daddy.

✯   Porco never really had the thought of breeding or corruption until you. The way you sweet-talked the kids in your family or how you bit back at his snarky comments, giving a pressing hard-on in his pants that you could only relieve.

✯   Porco can be a soft dom when he wants to be a little soft and delicate with you; however, he is a very much hard dom. When fucking you, he holds your face making you passionately look into your eyes and feeling your hot moans in his mouth. He can be a little too invested in you and grab you by the neck slightly choking, but you give devilish smile, such a dirty slut for his cock you are.

✯   Always asks for consent no matter how long you’ve been together, he wants to make sure you feel comfortable and safe; you are what matters most, he could care less about himself. Your pleasure is important so you will always be put first.

✯   Going into what matters most, he will absolutely make sure you have all the orgasms first, ensuring what he’s doing is good and asking if you like it. He can tell you love it when he feels you squeeze around him. That's how he found out you loved letting him spit in your mouth.

✯   After finding your spit kink, he loves how dirty you were so he would grab your throat in any environment, always catching you by surprise and using it as an opportunity to spit in your mouth. He knows you're dripping wet by the time you get home or in the car. You did fuck like dogs in the car after he did that in front of Jean, he is very much territorial.  

✯   He knows your body, everything, he quickly catches on to the things that make you moan and whimper. Definitely keeping a mental note to ensure his do’s and don’ts.

✯   What Porco lives for is you riding him. He loves the look on your fucked out face, eyes rolling back, telling him to go faster and deeper. He loves giving you light slaps across your face, as he tells you to beg for it. When picking up the pace, he will grab onto your neck and squeeze to make your face crimson red; only making you focus on his hard fast cock ramming into your cunt.

✯   Another thing Porco loves is to eat you out and his mouth does fucking god wonders. He loves the fact his tongue is making you whimper and moan and enjoys overstimulating you after you’ve cum all over his mouth. He loves to have his fingers inside you while he licks your sensitive clit and brings his long calloused fingers to have you taste your sweet slick.

✯   Sometimes you need to smack that man like you’re tagging out but that only makes him hold you down by grabbing your neck. He is just addicted to the sweet taste you leave in his mouth.

✯   High key loves your tits cause that’s his thing I don’t make the rules. Once he saw you lean over and saw your cleavage that was his limit. Squeezes your tits hard just to hear you yelp but religiously worships them.  Your thighs are another thing, his dick twitches to you squeezing his head as he made you cum on his tongue. 

✯   Lovemaking isn't his fortay but he’ll do so if he wants to show his love for you. When he is highly stressed, he will be extremely rough. During or after, he’ll ask if you’re okay and if he’s hurting you; Porco gives the best and most amazing aftercare.

✯   This man is super strong, super strong to where he can hold you against walls and hold you up while he fucks you, but loves to fuck you like a rag doll. Pulling your hair as he fucks you doggy style, pinching and biting your tits as he rams into you.

✯   As mentioned before, Porco has never had a woman that can keep up with him nor can have the dirtiest & kinky sex with him, so you were a package deal. Sometimes your sex drive was more than his, you can never get enough of his cock.

✯   He will find every opportunity to fuck you. Any surface place in the house is already checked off. Car sex? Yes, Public bookstore sex? Yes, party bathroom sex? Fuck yeah. Of course, Reiner walked in on you both but continued on like rabbit dogs. Let's just say you both were a match made in kink heaven

✯   Confidence and his ego radiate off him just by him making you cum on his hard cock not to mention his breeding tendencies, he’s never wanted more to cum inside a girl before you. He is a huge family man and loves kids. This man is so infatuated with you that he sees you having his children. His breeding kink is activated when you beg him to cum inside you. Since then, he loses control when he thinks about fucking a baby into you. He makes sure that every last drop of his cum is inside you and literally sticks his finger in your already overstimulated cunt to stop his seed drip out of you.

✯  Porco loves trying new things so bringing toys into the mix was a god-tier. Fascinated by your toys, he would be so excited to use them on you. Instantly gets hard watching what they do to you and gets entranced at the faces you make and the way you moan his name while looking at him. Especially the remote-controlled underwear vibrators, the exhibitionism at its MAX

✯  Although Porco was a manwhore, he became a manwhore for you and only you. He surprises and suggests new positions and games just so he can fuck your brains out. He can fuck you anywhere or on any surface possible, I think you're both just horny for each other and can’t get enough.

tag-list: @kentosovertime @sugarmapoops @sugarbooger513 @severelytalentless @bebechinas99 @jeankirsteinsgirl @katgalle

[ptergwen]

you know that one scene in ffh when people keep knocking on the door while fury is trying to speak to peter? could you maybe do something like that but instead it’s peter and stark reader wanting some alone time (you can make it smut or fluff idm!) also, i am so in love with your work it’s amazing :)❣️

knock before you enter

w/c: 1.3k

warnings: implied smut, dirty jokes, swearing

a/n: i went a lil overboard because i was having too much fun :,) and i kinda combined the two i hope that’s okay!

-

you let out a breath of relief as peter finally presses his lips to yours. he grins at that, his hands continuing to roam your body while you kiss. it’s a needy kiss, one you’ve been waiting the whole day to share.

you’d thought europe of all places would give you the opportunity to explore each other more. you’re away from your overbearing father, you don’t have team responsibilities. there was one mishap with a water monster nearly destroying the city. you both managed to fight it off together. tony was right to make you bring your suit, and may encouraged her nephew to do the same. the stark’s and parker’s think alike.

most of the pestering you’ve faced this trip has come from your teachers and fellow classmates. whether it’s mr. dell assigning work or flash trying to film you two for a livestream, you and peter can’t get a moment alone. that’s about to change. you’re in peter’s hotel room after a fun yet highly supervised day in venice.

most kids are getting ready for bed, at mr. harrington’s request. he’s adamant on everyone having a good night sleep before the walking tour you’re taking tomorrow. you and peter plan to do everything but sleep, however.

“you taste like toothpaste,” peter mumbles against your mouth, arms winding around your back. “is that a good or bad thing?” you giggle and tug at his undone curls. that elicits a high pitched whine from him. “depends on who you ask. me personally, i think it’s sexy.” he’s laying over you on his bed, your fingers tangling in his locks. “open up, then,” you practically purr. peter happily obliges and resumes his kissing.

right when his tongue glides over your lower lip, there’s a knock on the wall.

“i thought you said ned wouldn’t be back…” your words trail off when peter starts to kiss down your neck. “for a while,” you add, softer. “he won’t. last time i checked, he was with betty,” peter replies and effortlessly finds your sweet spot. he nudges it with his nose, making a smile spread across your face. “ok, keep going,” you pull on the roots of his hair gently. peter pecks at your lips. “gotcha, baby.”

he’s kissing his way back to your sweet spot when there’s more knocking, this time much louder. with quirked eyebrows, peter detaches his lips from your skin. “um… hello?” he hesitantly answers. “finally. i was ready to come kick down your door, you idiot,” mj speaks through the thin wall. you squeeze your eyes shut in annoyance, not saying anything. “what do you want, mj? it’s late,” peter sighs back.

“so what? i know you’re not sleeping,” mj insists, leaning against the wall. “i can hear everything. hey, y/n.” peter’s face tints a light shade of pink. you make wide eyes up at him. “hi, i guess. you good over there?” her lips form a line. “i was until the horrendous sounds of parker clapping your cheeks disturbed my reading.” peter grips at your waist with a pout.

“what? we weren’t- i- i didn’t-“ “spare me the details,” mj sharply cuts in, opening whatever mystery novel she recently bought. “i don’t care what you do, as long as you do it quietly. deal?” seeing as peter is too flustered to speak, you take over again. “yeah, sorry. we’ll tone it down. goodnight, em.” “ciao,” she says before returning to her book.

peter shakes his head, fully burying his face in your neck. “that was embarrassing. she’s so…” “nosy,” you finish for him. your fingers brush back some hair that flopped over his forehead. “at least she’s not telling on us or whatever.” he puffs air out of his cheeks, placing a kiss under your chin. “true. you wanna pick up where we left off?” “ugh, yes,” you instantly groan.

your lips are colliding with peter’s again, just like that. it isn’t for too long. his hands settle on your stomach and under your shorts, then you hear someone banging on the door. they talk before either you or peter can tell them to fuck off.

“y/n, is that you?” brad questions, your face twisting in confusion. “uh, yeah. how’d you know?” peter bites the inside of his cheek while brad converses. “i stopped by your room. betty said you might be here… with him.” the him in question is peter, who chuckles bitterly. “what’s up, buddy? we’re kind of in the middle of something. i’m sure you knew that, too.”

“i didn’t, but thanks for sharing,” brad sarcastically responds. “y/n said she’d give me her notes on one of the da vinci exhibits.” peter cocks his head to the side. “she did?” he wonders, looking over at you. “you did?” “it was either that or help him myself,” you explain and drag your fingers along the back of his neck soothingly. “the kid doesn’t leave me alone.”

peter nods, wrapping a protective arm around your middle. “she’ll give you them tomorrow, brad. isn’t it past your bedtime?” “point taken,” brad scoffs and heads back to his room. you draw peter in closer to you. “thanks, pete. hopefully, that’ll be our last guest for the night.” he kisses both your cheeks with a grin. “where were we, mio amore?”

“ooh, i love it when you speak italian,” you giggle, peter cupping your face in his hands.“grazie, bellissima.” he winks and earns a puzzled face from you. “bellissima?” “that means beautiful.” instead of responding with words, you use your mouth to move on his. peter happily kisses back and lets your tongues intertwine. things quickly heat up, peter slipping your shorts down your legs and you lifting his pajama shirt.

you’re both only half undressed and running off broken up kisses, but so desperate. you part your legs for peter, his fingers hooking in the waistband of your panties. “think you can keep your oath of silence?” he teases and nips at your covered collarbone. “the real question is, can you?” you challenge. peter doesn’t get the chance to answer because the door suddenly flies open.

there stands ned, his mouth agape at the sight of a shirtless peter undressing you. you’re the first to notice. you see over peter’s shoulder and gasp. concern covers his features. “what is it, baby? do you want-“ “ned!” you whisper yell. his concern becomes shock. “you want ned?” “no, peter! he’s right there!” teeth sinking into your lip, you point behind him. peter looks and surely enough, there’s his best friend rendered speechless in the doorway.

“dude, what the hell are you doing here?” peter squeaks, you grabbing your shorts from next to you. he turns around to shield you while you put them back on. “aren’t you supposed to be with betty?” “we, um, finished,” ned gulps in response. “finished what- oh.” peter scratches the back of his neck as it hits him. “yuck, ned. a gentleman never tells.” “says you! this is my room too, you know,” he defends himself, you moving out from behind peter.

“and betty’s room is also mine. consider us even,” you hand peter his t-shirt with a satisfied smirk. he murmurs a thank you and throws it back on. ned uncomfortably shifts from foot to foot in the doorway. “that’s fair… are you leaving now?” “i should before mr. harrington makes his rounds,” you reluctantly decide. “i liked it better when people actually knocked,” peter says under his breath, standing to give you a goodnight hug.

“it’s not even this bad at home. i’ll take my dad and friday spying on us over a walk of shame any day,” you exhale as peter pulls you into his chest. hugging back by his torso, you give him an innocent kiss on the cheek. his lips brush your forehead. “maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow. should we try again, same time?” a familiar and irritated voice yells through the wall. mj.

“please god, no!”

[d-targaryenshoe]

Unnecessary Games • Jackson Avery

Word count: 1177

Summary: Being your best friends fake girlfriend doesn't get easy when feelings and jealousy get involved

You were adjusting the bobby pin in your hair before the door was opened and revealed one if you best friends

"No, i'm not babysitting Harriet again, not tonight." You shook your head at the blue eyed man, placing your hands in the pockets of your lab coat. "Why do you look like you want me to do something for you?"

Jackson scoffed in denial first but as he noticed your stern glance he awkwardly coughed, scratching the back of his head. "Cn you be my fke grlfrn?"

"Can i be what?" You furrowed your eyebrows, crossing your arms at your friend. "I didn't catch all of that."

"Well, y/n, cn you be my fke grlfrn?" The words left his mouth in a hurry and you literally couldn't catch the two last words of his sentence. "God's sake, can you be my fake girlfriend?"

You let out a laugh that faded when you noticed his serious face. "Like for real? Why?"

"To show Maggie she's not the only one moving on." He shrugged at you, adjusting the stethoscope around his neck.

You waved your finger left and right, shaking your head in denial, not wanting to fake something you were dreaming of for years, you wanted it to be real not fake. "No."

"No? Why not? What do you want? Two surgeries?" Jackson leaned against the wall, looking at you, knowing there was one thing you'd do everything for -> surgeries.

"Three and the one of Jo, give it or ask someone else." You held your hands up as you walked towards the door, slightly smirking at Jackson's doubtful face. "What's it gonna be pretty boy?"

"If that's what will make you do it, deal." Jackson nodded, walking up to you as he placed his hand on the door hande but you stopped him with yours. "What?"

You opened two buttons of your shirt and ran a hand through your hair, making it somehow more messy, hoping everyone out there would walk into it. "Now you can open it, it needs to look believable, right?"

Jackson opened the door before the both of you walked out, noticing Maggie talking to a nurse before she catched a glimpse of you.

"She's watching, what do we do?" You mumbled unnoticed, adjusting your badge on your lab coat. "Do I pull you in or what?"

"Try to walk up to her, try and talk to her." Jackson placed a hand on your waist before he left, walking towards Link.

Walking away from the spot you were standing, you stood next to Maggie but before you could say a word the woman walked away from you. "Oh, come on, i'm not that bad, am i?"

"You just walked out of an on-call room with her ex boyfriend, y/n, you are bad." The slightly italian voice spoke from next to you. "

"Exactly, ex boyfriend, as in past, tense, what's wrong Deluca?" Jackson asked from behind you, probably trying to get on Carina's nerves.

"Pretty guy, listen, i was trying to have a small conversation with my friend, so you're not needed." Carina gave him a sarcastic smile, pulling you away by your hand and leading you around the corner.

"Look, you want to be his fake girlfriend, good for you, go for it, but you're literally in love with him like a teenager, Andrew knew that too." Carina raised an eyebrow at you. "Y/n?"

"So what if i am? I'm helping him out? Maggie hates my guts when i was there after the break up, i'm good at ignoring feelings, Carina, thank you." You slightly snapped at your friend, ignoring your pager. "Was there anything else?"

"Actually, yeah, tell him how you feel." Carina pushed her tone as she noticed you rolling your eyes. "Before it's too late."

"Carina, how about you mind your business with Maya, and i'll keep track of mine?" You replied as you strolled away from the woman and noticed Jackson and Maggie slightly laughing at the nurse desk.

"Well i'm happy we're all lovey dovey again, have a good fucking night while y/n goes home." You snapped at the both of them, avoiding Jackson hand as he tried to stop you. "Don't."

"Y/n, wait!" He tried to stop you but kept following you towards the mocker room while you were already dressing yourself into your regular clothes, totally ignoring that he was standing there. "It was just something about Mer, nothing else."

"I'm not getting back to her if that's what you're worried about." Jackson walked over to you but noticed he was still being ignored by you. "Could you just answer me?"

"I get it,you're mad because i asked you to be my fake girlfriend and then you see me talking to Maggie, it looks bad, i know, but it isn't." He spoke, leaning against the locker next to yours. "Y/n?"

You didn't reply to the fact he called your name, you took your handbag and started to walk out of the hospital before you noticed that it was raining...very hard.

"Since you're following me like a puppy, i didn't ask to be in this kind of position, Jackson, I don't want it to be fake, okay, i want it to be real, since you and Maggie were...done. I wanted it to be real, when i'm home alone, it's you, when im in here, it's you, when Andrew died, the first person i needed was you...don't you get it?" You rambled.

Staring up at Jackson you noticed him frowning and avoiding your eyes which made you scoff and grab your car keys as you turned around and started to walk towards your car.

"Wait, why do you have such a low temper." He groaned, placing his hand on your car lock, keeping you away from opening your door.

"Oh great, you're gonna insult me now as well?" You sarcastically chuckled, trying to push his hand away but you gave up when nothing happened. "Speak up."

"I said i'm not going back to Maggie, i'm not doing that because she doesn't feel like home, she's not the head of peds, she doesn't get drunk with Carina Deluca to embarrass herself right after and her definitely name isnt y/n."

"You can't play with a woman her feelings, that's totally unattractive." You answered.

You stopped trying to get in your car as Jackson's eyes bore into yours. Each others eyes kept flickering down to the other’s lips, fingers against yours, You moved your face away from his, however he remained still, huffing as he slowly turned his head to see Link and Koracick smirking on the parking lot.

“Don't mind us, Avery, go get the girl.” Tom chuckled, getting in his car.

“He's an asshole, but he's right." Link winked.

Both of their cars drove away. “If you think i'm just gonna let yo-”

Jackson pulled you in, stopping your rambling as you placed your hands on his chest, enchanted in the moment.

Unnecessary games weren't always bad.

[cesca-untoldstories]

So... I was scrolling through the internet as usual, when suddenly I bumped into an italian comic that I read when I was younger, like, 15, and I instantly thought about Jotaro and Cesca. The comic is called "Sacro Profano" by Mirka Andolfo, and it looks like this

These where the most family friendly panels I could find 😭, but yeah, as i was saying, they reminded me of Jotaro and Cesca, even though Jotaro isn't really an horny jail like Damiano the devil. But still... This comic is part of my memories and I loved it :')

OK I ENDED UP READING IT AND SIMPLY LOVE THE COMIC SO MUCH! indeed is R-18 but with a lot of funny relief of a couple in daily basics living couple problems! if you are more than 18 I do recommend this comic! is wonderful in so many ways and even if "the adult content" is the main spot is not really a bother, is lovely how they show adult content seen from the perspective of real life matters and how to deal with those mature problems.

and to your headcanon of a possible AU

I'd like to think of this AU out loud, dealing with more mature themes with the same fun, problem-solving air!

Francesca being the daughter of the devil himself (Salvatore) in the underworld full of demons where everything illegal becomes daily bread. Francesca comes from a luxurious underworld family, her father has been in charge of raising his little demons well (although alone) and hopes that one day they can continue with the family legacy living off everything illegal that he gave them and have provided. But Francesca hides something, despite being an adult demon, she has not yet lost her virginity, she makes her relatives laugh for the same reason, but her dream has always been to get married and have a beautiful family, to have a place to call "home" and fill to the family of affection and love every day.

On the other hand, Jotaro comes from the Holy Place (and a Holly mom badam tsk), he is an angel but not because he has the halo up on his head has he earned that place. He is an Angel known as the violent angel. Since his teen days he has never wanted to respect the rules of common agreement between angels and demons, for him they are all equal and more than once his grandfather has been the one who has had to clip his wings to lower his insolence. Jotaro is bored with everything sacred and wants to know more. He has a group of angel friends with whom he is willing to break heaven's rules, but where to start? perhaps the simple curiosity of a man wanting to have skin-to-skin contact with someone for the first time.

A clumsy devil with angel dreams

A determined angel with devil dreams.

Yin Yang are two halves that, together, represent a whole. When you divide something into Yin and Yang, it upsets the balance and equilibrium of wholeness. That is why it is believed that both halves chase one another to seek a new balance.

[kallulovesu]

Hello! I recently found your writing and am in love 😫 it’s so good. How would yan America, Spain, Romano, and England react if their darling managed to escape but they accidentally ran into each other years later? Thank you for considering my request ☺️

(A/N:) AAAAA anon thank you so much for the support!! 😭🙏

"...Babe?"

Alfred wouldn’t believe it at first— unable to think it as anything other than a dream, or perhaps even a hallucination. Though, after a moment of just standing there and taking everything in he would slowly begin to realize that this was...actually real. That you were actually before him.

This was you, in flesh and blood.

The blond would immediately reach his hand towards you; most likely frightening you into thinking that he was going to hit you again due to his past outburst, but you instead felt yourself getting enveloped in a tight hug.

Trying his best to not cry publicly— Alfred would simply whisper about how much he had missed you, muttering other sweet nothings while inhaling your scent that he missed oh so much.

Of course, saying that he was mad was an understatement— he was furious, actually. But his anger was mostly overthrown by the relief and ecstasy he felt in that moment.

It wouldn’t even take another glance at your form before he was already grasping your arm; his hold tight and painful, sure being enough to leave a mark for the rest of the day.

Arthur felt a bunch of emotions; anger, sorrow, relief— though of course, the first one was the most prominent feeling coursing through his mind in that moment.

How dare you try to run away from him? How dare you try to run away from your fated soulmate?

Who knows what Arthur may do in that moment. Maybe he’d feel too grumpy to mess with you, and would simply drag you back to the place he was currently residing in at the moment.

Or perhaps he would cause a scene, crying about how much he had missed you and sobbing about how painful it felt being completely abandoned with no other means of communication. Of course, those that didn’t know of your current situation would think of you as the villain. Who wouldn’t, after Arthur put such a good little performance in front of everyone? Publicly humiliating you on the spot, and reminding you of who you were dealing with.

"Love? Is that you?"

Antonio unconsciously muttered, eyes wide and body refusing to move due to pure shock.

There were many, many things he imagined he could do once finding you again. Kissing you, hugging you...there was so much more! Yet he couldn’t bring himself to do any of that right now. Why?

After a moment of the two of you merely staring at the two of you, he managed to choke something out. A large, pleased grin creeping on his face while doing so. "I finally found you! After all these years..." his voice was soft, weak even.

Antonio gradually made his way over you, while you were still frozen due to the shock— no, the fear of it all. The fear of being in his grasp again, but you were too late. Your lover had already wrapped his arms around you before you could even start thinking of running away; a tight, firm one that didn’t allow you to get away.

...

Romano was awfully silent, more so than you thought he would be if he were to ever find you...and it was frightening, knowing that there was possibly something terrible— something sinister in his mind, and you wouldn’t be able to see it coming.

The Italian simply stared at you, face emotionless while doing so. His fingers twitched at the thought of just touching you right then and there, but he decided against it for now.

Finally stepping towards you, he made sure not to take his eyes off you just in case you were planning to run away from him.

"Lets go." Was all Romano said when getting close enough, roughly pushing you forward and bringing you back to his place— or at least somewhere secluded, if he couldn’t hold his anger back for too long.

[kitmoas]

if you were the one trapped married to Wanda in the hex, what would you like to be in there as far as stores and neighborhood places and who of your mutuals would you want to share that experience with?

I mean….this seems like this was already figured out was it not?

But as for places—boxlunch, a few good comic/funko stores, a good authentic italian spot, a really good like food court type place that has real restaurants and fast food but like the best of the best?, a movie theater, a corner store or two, a pet store for my dog, a juice store, a stuffie store, and a farmers market

As for mutuals—oh gosh, are they all allowed in the hex? I’ll call out…5…? @themidnightcrimson, @maximotts (with sammi they are package deal) @wandasdolly you @crescent-witch so i have someone to bully and I know @caroldantops has no idea what this is but I’m bringing you with me

Send me stuff for honesty hours

[ibelieveinhomer]

Y'ALL I watched the voyage home

I'm gonna post a scene that had me and my friend crying in laughter, just because I wanna be able to watch it three times a day, but for now

Favourite moments:

- "Everyone remember where we parked"

- Jim selling his glasses for a 100 bucks and going "is that a lot?"

- Chekhov and Uhura going around and Chekhov asking "vere are the nuclear wessels?"

- Scotty altering the past by giving away knowledge from the future like it's no big deal

- Jim face when he spotted Spock swimming in the tank was priceless

- "Do you guys like Italian?" Yesnonoyesyesnoyesidoandsodoyou

- "I think he did too much lds when he was young"

I can't believe this film is real

[hd-wireless]

🎶 HD Wireless 2021 Reveals! 🎶

TAKE A BOW, CREATORS!! 

The day has finally come, and we can’t wait for everyone to see who created all the wonderful Wireless works that we had the privilege to present to you this year!!

Before we do that, the results of our Guessing Game! The winner, with 43 correct guesses (which gave her 260 points - please don’t question our scoring system) was @sweet-s0rr0w!! Kudos to your super-sleuthing and powers of recognition!!

All the wonderful authors, artists and podficcers who took part this year can be found below the cut. As the mods, we want to extend our thanks to every single talented one of them. Please show them all your love and appreciation!!

🎶 H/D Wireless Animatic and Fic 🎶

📻 rather a lover than a fighter [T, 15k] ✒️ Author and Artist: @parkkate & aceveria / @aceveria-art

🎵 Summary: When Harry loses his voice and his magic, it’s up to Healer Draco to save the day.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 The Road to Somewhere [T] 🖌️ Artist: @rainsoakedhello 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: In the end, all roads lead home.

📻 Don't care what they say (I would be stupid to be not on it) [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @digthewriter 🎵 Art medium: Digital. Photoshop.

🎵 Summary: Harry finally has a chance with Draco and he's not gonna let it go.

📻 Start Over Again [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: milkandhoney / @fictional 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Do you feel like a chainstore? Or in which one is Graham Coxon and one is Damon Albarn.

📻 Down for What You Want [Teen] 🖌️ Artist: @sugareey 🎵 Art medium: Digital

🎵 Summary: After the war, finding refuge in the clubs of Muggle London is easier than dealing with the shambles of the wizarding world. When Harry and Draco keep running into each other at Apollo's every Saturday night though, they follow their gut instincts to get on the dance floor and discover something they both have been craving for a long time.

📻 What do I do? With a Love That Won’t Sit Still [Gen] 🖌️ Artist: @cambiodipolvere 🎵 Art medium: traditional (graphite)

🎵 Summary: Italian Greyhounds are small and fucked up, but Draco is a big fuck up and that requires scaling.

🎶 H/D Wireless Art and Fic 🎶

📻 A Halo of Fairy Orbs [E, 20.6k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus & Fae_vorite / @faevorite-main-blog 🎵 Art medium: digital art

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has been dead for fifteen years, but the Black Family tapestry doesn’t agree. Upon returning from long years abroad, Harry discovers that his old rival might still be alive, and his revived obsession leads him to Malfoy Manor. There’s a mystery to solve, and Harry is chasing a thrill he hasn’t felt since sixth year. He needs to know.

📻 Oh, Sinnerman [E, 40k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @lou-isfake and @babooshkart 🎵 Art medium: digital

🎵 Summary: “I’m serious, Potter,” Malfoy said quietly. “That was some real bad luck you had, being there last night. They will come after you, and they will kill you—after torturing you for information on my whereabouts.” He pocketed Harry’s wand, but held on to his knife, twirling it between his fingers. Harry was distracted by its movement, the reflections of the bright, dawning sun on polished silver. “I’m not happy about it, either, but you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.” He watched Malfoy’s face for a long time, in a staring contest he wasn’t sure he’d signed up for. Stuck with Malfoy, for the foreseeable future, on the run from a massive crime syndicate that had infiltrated the Ministry and was out for their blood. It was all very familiar, except for the Malfoy part.  

📻 The Crane Lord of Gringotts [E, 31.1k] 🖌️✒️ Author and Artist: @vukovich and @crazybutgood 🎵 Art medium: Origami, photography

🎵 Summary: Harry is fine. Being an Auror is fine. Living with Ginny is fine. It's all fine. But it used to be a lot better.

📻 The World Is A Violent Sky [E, 60k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: writingsbydestiny / @starlitsilvereyes 🎵 Art medium: Digital Art

🎵 Summary: Harry Potter wants to die; Draco Malfoy wants to live — a story of life and death, everything in between and beyond — in the form of scatters of love and hurt like freckles of stars forming into constellations. — Alternative Summary (And Significantly Less Poetic): Four years after the war, Harry remains grief-stricken. In an attempt to discover the parts of him that haven’t died in the Forbidden Forest, he drops off the face of Scotland to travel the world by himself. Along the way, he finds his old enemy, Draco Malfoy, in a Muggle country, looking positively dashing even with a slash of scar decorating his face. As always, Harry’s curiosity leads him to (un)fortunate places.

📻 The Stars Have Courage [M, 85k] 🖌️✒️ Author/Artist: @fantalf 🎵  Art medium: Digital painting

🎵 Summary: Draco can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move. He can’t hear anything besides the buzzing in his ears. The walls are closing in. The world becomes smaller, narrowing itself to the pain in his chest, and it becomes the only thing that makes sense. He tries to cry. Maybe he is crying, but there are no tears anymore. Luna’s words echo endlessly in his brain. Harry doesn’t remember. Harry doesn’t love Draco. Repeating ceaselessly. Infinite, Harry used to say. No. No. No. Draco can’t lose him again. But he doesn’t know who you are now. He doesn’t love you. He hates you. You are no one. His world turns into an overwhelming pain. And that pain is all that he is. — Draco waited five long years to watch his husband wake up from a coma. He's not ready to meet a Harry with no memory of anything that happened after he died at The Battle of Hogwarts, twelve years ago.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic Collab 🎶

📻 'Til Your World Burns [E, 25.3k] ✒️ 🖋️Authors: @ladderofyears and @iero0

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy is raped and watches as his world falls apart. Harry Potter is the quiet, unassuming wizard who finally listens to him.

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 Inside These Walls [M, 5.6k] 🖋️ Author: @jackvbriefs

🎵 Summary: The year before Draco moves to Los Angeles, Harry Potter disappears. Draco doesn't mean to find him. He's just doing his job.

📻 Drive a Little Slower [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: bluefay / @thesleepiesthufflepuff

🎵 Summary: He silently willed Harry to drive a little slower. To let him pretend a little longer.

📻 Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon [T, 16k] 🖋️ Author: thestarryknight / @the-starryknight

🎵 Summary: The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

📻 Two Starts, One Finish [E, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: @lqtraintracks

🎵 Summary: I feel him before I see him. Nobody stands this close to me while I’m playing, and I’m about to turn to tell him so when he says, “You’re a tough bloke to track down,” and then leans against my baby grand.

📻 Never Gonna Give You Up [E, 5k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Five times Harry rickrolls Draco, and one time Draco gets him back.

📻 Alone Together [T, 3k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: He felt like a spectre, roaming the treeless grounds, the deserted streets of Hogsmeade. It was only the train station—of course it was, Harry thinks—that harboured another sleepless soul that night. They were found as though they had been looking for one another; freezing to the ground at the sight of an unmistakable silhouette in the distance, before wordlessly meeting on the platform. They stood there, side by side, faces to the sky.

📻 Nothing Left to Burn [E, 5,1] 🖋️ Author: skeptique / @skeptiquewrites​

🎵 Summary: Over ten years after their fling crashed and burned, Harry runs into Draco and finds embers still burning bright. Sometimes your ex-lover is (metaphorically) dead. And sometimes it's summertime in Montreal and the past won't let go.

📻 The Isle of Discussion [E, 21.6k] 🖋️ Author: @shealwaysreads

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco arrive at the shores of Loch Leven to record the magical history of the land. They’re friends now, but up there in the Highlands, amidst the trees and sky and that wild expanse of water their own past is more present than ever; a gap they still can’t bridge. Magic illuminates the truth, but it is Harry and Draco who have to speak it. Happily, it turns out that honesty is, in fact, the best policy.

📻 (You Should Have Been My) High School Lover [T, 3.9k] 🖋️ Authort: @aprofessionalprotagonist

🎵 Summary: After years of carefully avoiding running into Harry Potter, Pansy tricks Draco into attending a party at Grimmauld Place. How is he supposed to deal with a very attractive Potter trying to talk to him?

📻 Both Hands [E, 10.4] 🖋️ Author: @sweet-s0rr0w

🎵 Summary: It’s been over a decade since Draco packed up his belongings and left, and Harry’s doing just fine. Really, he is. So when he spots the For Sale sign outside their old flat, he doesn’t think twice about arranging a viewing. Curiosity is only natural, right? And what harm can come from a quick trip down memory lane?

📻 His favourite piece of art [E, 1.3k] 🖋️ Author: @gnarf

🎵 Summary: Six years after Malfoy had left, Harry suddenly spotted him on the dancefloor of a Muggle club in London. He couldn't let this opportunity slip…

📻 I'll Try to Keep the Walls From Falling Down [M, 14.9k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s OK. Love is only meant for some; Harry knows that. Besides, he wouldn’t want to risk this new, amazing friendship he has going on with Draco for anything in the world. Keeping his walls from falling down is the least he can do.

📻 Learn to Fly [T, 11k] 🖋️ Author: @janieohio

🎵 Summary: Harry’s suffocating under all the expectations of the wizarding world, but he’s fascinated at Malfoy’s sudden ability to flaunt his true self to whoever cares to watch. And Harry? He might like to do something more than watch if he can ever get up the nerve.

📻 Restless Dreams (Stay With Me) [T, 5.5k] 🖋️ Author: wanderingeyre

🎵 Summary: At first, Draco thinks the common room is empty, but then he sees Potter sitting on the floor, back to the wall on the far side of the fireplace. His head is thrown back, exposing the brown column of his throat. The curl of his hair looks soft in the firelight. Potter’s glasses are off and there are tracks where tears have wet his cheeks. He looks naked in a way that stabs at Draco, right between the ribs where everything is already bruised.

📻 Letters From Home [T, 1.1k] 🖋️ Author: @articcat621

 🎵 Summary: Writing to each other is all that's getting them through this war.

📻 so lie to me tonight [T, 5.3k] 🖋️ Author: M0stlyVoid / @bonesliketambourines

🎵 Summary: Ginny thought it would be different, after.

📻 Mortal Frame [M, 6.6k] 🖋️ Author: tackytiger / @tackytigerfic

🎵 Summary: Draco’s on a mission, and this time it's personal. But it's not easy to track down something that no one wants to talk about, especially when Harry Potter keeps popping up everywhere Draco goes. Though at least he’s on Draco’s side this time, and if he happens to be useful, and kind, and great in bed—well, Draco’s not exactly complaining. The story of three pubs, one Horcrux, four overpriced sandwiches, and two damaged men just trying to make sure that Bellatrix Lestrange stays dead.

📻 Prologue [T, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: adavison / @aedwritesfic

🎵 Summary: Ten years after the war, Harry stumbles across Malfoy in a Muggle club. What could have been an awkward encounter might just be a new beginning.

📻 A Care To Fill The Vessel Of Your Heart [M, 2.5k] 🖋️ Author: @onbeinganangel

🎵 Summary: Draco doesn’t care for atonement. Why should he? Forgetting is easier than forgiving. Or it would be, if fate just left him to his own devices. Fate, as per usual, has its own plans.

📻 Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) [M, 19.4k] 🖋️ Author: Cassiara / @cassiaratheslytherpuff

🎵 Summary: Harry spends his life waiting for something he isn’t entirely sure he wants, and looking for something he doesn’t know exists. Everything feels ill-fitting until Draco Malfoy enters his life and shows Harry he doesn’t have to want the expected things, and Harry learns happiness doesn't have to look a certain way.

📻 Sun and Rain [M, 4.7k]

🖋️ Author: @isamijoo 

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy thinks that being in a relationship with Harry Potter is anything but easy, but then again, what's the sun without the rain?

📻 In Pursuit of Lost Marbles [T, 22k] 🖋️ Author:  Theartfulldodger / @graymatters 

🎵 Summary: Every night after work, Healer Malfoy follows the same routine, beginning with a familiar flight of stairs that leads to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. With an air of professionalism, he introduces himself to Harry, his husband of seven years, when a memory curse makes Harry look at him like a stranger. He tries not to flinch when Harry calls him sir, but he smiles when bits of the old Harry emerge. Eventually, Draco leads Harry to the Pensieve where he shows him pieces of the life they've built together, what Harry will come home to, one day, when this is all over. Then, Draco waits. He waits, and he hopes.

📻 Requiem [T, 1.8k] 🖋️ Author: EvAEleanor / @evaeleanor

🎵 Summary: Requiem — A song of mourning composed or performed as a memorial to a dead person.

📻 Changes With The Moon [Gen, 1.6k] 🖋️ Author: @missdrarrydawn

🎵 Summary: Draco takes a stroll to try to settle his turbulent thoughts, plagued by who he was, who he is and who he could be. A friend offers him a whole new world and Draco struggles with the idea, for there is too much at stake, it isn't worth it. Or—is it?

📻 Chasing Dragons [E, 89.9k] 🖋️ Author: The_Sinking_Ship / @the-sinking-ship

🎵 Summary: Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece. But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite. Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.

📻 Drive, Draco [M, 2.4k] 🖋️ Author: Erebeus / @erebeus-roxy

🎵 Summary: got my driver’s license today, but you're not around to see. Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

📻 Fire [E, 10k] 🖋️ Author: GallifreyisBurning / @gallifrey1sburning

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy has never had trouble getting boyfriends. The problem is getting one that doesn’t leave him feeling cold after the first few months. He’s looking for something specific: passion, excitement, someone to keep him on his toes. He just doesn’t know how to go about finding it. After kicking his latest boyfriend to the curb, Draco’s at a loss for what to do next, until it occurs to him that a relationship with his fiery (and hot) Gryffindor colleague might not burn out so quickly—if he can just convince Harry to try it.

📻 Into the Unknown [M, 4.5k] 🖋️ Author: @drarrelie

🎵 Summary: It’s been echoing within him for months, like an annoying song that gets stuck in your head and refuses to let go. A nagging feeling in his core, telling him to say something, to do something, to go somewhere. Last night it finally happened. He did it. And it felt good; right. “I can’t be sure.” Four words, easy as that. It had been almost impossible to smother the sudden burst of joy rushing through him as that deep-seated urge rejoiced his unexpected act of rebellion. You’d think the Dark Lord’s punishment would’ve taken the exhilaration out of him, but no. Here he is, countless Crucios later, beaten and bruised, and never has the voice sounded this clear. He’s said something. He’s done something. And now he just has to go somewhere. He has no idea where, but he’s certain it will come to him. All he has to do is get out of here, then trust magic to do the rest.

📻 Home is What We Make of It [M, 20.3k] 🖋️ Author: @monsieur-hadrien

🎵 Summary: "There was a blistering draft from the child’s bedroom on the opposite side of the hallway. The door’s handle was icy to the touch as she wrapped her hand around the metal. Unlike the rest of the house, the door gave her resistance in her effort to open it. Unlike the rest of the house, when she opened the door, she couldn’t imagine anyone ever living there. Unlike the rest of the house, there was neither love nor warmth nor any semblance of life that seeped from the rest of the house’s walls. It was cold and hard and chilled her to her bones. She shivered. However, her sense of dread was not just from the cold. Perhaps it was the gaping hole in the wall." Harry and Draco want to start a family, but time loves parallels.

📻 Move, move [M, 9k] 🖋️ Author: @maesterchill

🎵 Summary: She grabbed Harry’s hand, slipping something small into it and pressing his fingers around it. “Dilectio. It’ll cheer you up. Make you feel like dancing.” Harry gaped at her. Drugs. Ginny’s fucking giving me drugs? At Stasis nightclub Ginny does indeed give Harry drugs. But it's all good: Malfoy looks after Harry, and Harry grapples with newfound enlightenments, not to mention a newfound fascination with all things Malfoy—one which persists, even when he finds out what Malfoy's up to.

📻 Euphoria [E, 66k] 🖋️ Author: @iero0

🎵 Summary: Driven by trauma, Harry cuts ties with friends and family. From crowded nightclubs and enthralling live shows, Harry finds himself stumbling into a superficial world where he's lonelier than ever. When even the constant blithe of substance-induced highs can't prevent things from becoming what he ran away from, Draco Malfoy finds Harry. Draco, who’s wearing Muggle jeans and who’s listening to Muggle music and who suggests having a nice little chat on mephedrone. And whose nose crumples beautifully when he laughs. Or: A story about Harry trying to cope with the help of drugs until he finds a new addiction. Draco likes to mend things.

📻 Your House [E, 2.9k] 🖋️ Author: @tontonguetonks

🎵 Summary: Draco tries to serve Harry divorce papers, but Harry isn't home.

📻 Misery Loves Company [E, 22.9k] 🖋️ Author: vivi1138 / @penguinanimagus

🎵 Summary: Stuck in his own head, misunderstood and lonely, Harry would love nothing more than to stay hidden in Grimmauld Place until the end of time. Malfoy won’t let him, and that's just what Harry needs.

📻 You Sexy Thing [E, 10.6k] 🖋️ Author: shortie990

🎵 Summary: As Harry began to tap his foot along to the music, the lights flashed like lightning in the middle of a summer storm, and his eye went straight to the middle of the dance floor. His eyes zoomed in on Draco. The blond looked striking as he moved his slender hips to the soulful beat. Harry watched, captivated as he pressed himself up to Pansy and began to sing to the song.

📻 A Love Story of Less-Than-Epic Proportions [E, 39k] 🖋️ Author: InnerLilith

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco are just friends. Sure, they work together, and live together, and go to gigs together, and do pretty much everything else together—so what? That’s just what friends do. And Harry has no interest in messing with their friendship. He certainly doesn’t need everyone else constantly meddling, pestering them to just get on with it and get together already. He’s having a hard enough time as it is, trying to come to terms with the fact that he probably isn’t ever going to find love. But who needs love, anyways, when you’ve got a best friend?

📻 Cup of tea, Love? [E, 15.1k] 🖋️ Author: shushu_yaoi_lj / @orange-peony 

🎵 Summary: Things between them are easy, so much easier than Harry expected. The problem is the outside world, which grows increasingly and ridiculously difficult. “We could leave,” Draco suggests. Harry has always wanted to travel.

📻 holemate [E, 18.9k] 🖋️ Author:  @vukovich

🎵 Summary: 'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates So where do we begin? I can finally see you're as fucked up as me So how do we win?

📻 Home is Wherever I’m With You [Gen, 2.6k] 🖋️ Author: persephoneapple

🎵 Summary: Harry plans on proposing to Draco tonight, but it takes a Prophet article and a conversation between Draco and Pansy to realise how much Draco means to him.

📻 When the remembering is done [E, 24.8k] 🖋️ Author: Sassy3 / @sassy-sassy3

🎵 Summary: “–and we’ll make sure that you can stay at home as long as possible before it will be too hard to manage,” Potter finished. Draco could only blink, trying to make sense of the words he had heard before and after he zoned out. He cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry, Potter. Why wouldn’t she be able to live at home?” Draco Malfoy leads a quiet life. Sure, he doesn’t really like his job, and he never imagined he’d have to move back in with his parents at the manor, but at least he has his lovely son Scorpius to dote on. The only problem is that it gets… a bit lonely. But when his mother starts behaving strange and forgetful, he finds himself in need of help from the one person he never reconciled with after the war.

📻 If you smile at me again, I may do something stupid [M, 6.9k] 🖋️ Author: @emilattes

🎵 Summary: Draco made his peace with Harry Potter and their failed relationship two years ago. He's happy with his new boyfriend, but when Harry becomes the man Draco needed him to be, he finds it's much harder to ignore their history.

📻 smoke break [E, 4.3k] 🖋️ Author: saltwatergarden / @talkingtravesties

🎵 Summary: The first few times, they hovered a bit; Draco offered wine and they sat there and sipped and made small talk, until finally Potter would snap and say, “this is stupid,” and reach out to pull Draco into a kiss. After a while, they fell into a rhythm. Sometimes Potter would be in a rush, and he’d just throw himself at Draco the second he was through the door. Other times, he seemed intent on torturing Draco with his slow and teasing kisses. Potter rarely stayed the night, typically Flooing home after they were done, and they never went out, or, for that matter, met at Potter’s place. Draco was very aware of what he was to Potter—a convenience—and despite his pride, he accepted it, because he knew it was the most he was ever going to get from Potter, and far more than he deserved.

📻 4th Day of the New Show [M, 6.2k] 🖋️ Author: @meandminniemcg

🎵 Summary: Lucius, freshly released from Azkaban, shows up at Draco's show. And Harry has been nervous all day. How does Draco handle the situation?

📻 I Want More? [E, 10.7k] 🖋️ Author: @drarryismymuse

🎵 Summary: Draco had successfully avoided British wizarding society for eight years, until necessity drove him to attend a swanky Ministry event. A chance encounter at that event sparks a passionate affair that just might change the course of Draco’s entire life.

📻 Until It All Comes Undone [E, 38.5k] 🖋️ Author: @mystickitten42 

🎵 Summary: Following his confrontation with Voldemort, Harry returns from King’s Cross Station completely changed. He wakes up at Privet Drive with no memory of his past, the war or magic. Petunia, widowed and suffering from empty nest syndrome, is only too happy to turn Harry into Dudley 2.0. But something’s not quite right. Plagued by recurring nightmares, Harry can’t help but feel something is missing. A bottle of his cousin’s LSD helps him to forget his worries… Magic may not be real, but the hallucinations and the hot blond he meets all feel pretty magical to Harry. Having turned his back on his family, Draco is determined to start over and do the right thing. But he’s never made good decisions when it comes to Harry Potter. When Potter—presumed dead, but very much alive—unexpectedly returns, Draco will do anything for a second chance. Even if it means pretending not to know who he is…

📻 When the Day Met the Night [M, 5.7k] 🖋️ Author: Albuss

🎵 Summary: When the day met the night, all was golden in the sky. In the middle of summer. The Battle of Hogwarts is through, and Harry, somehow, isn't. Draco isn't either. In rebellion against all they have endured, the two embark on a summer of adventure, seeking an ember of hope in the darkness. What they find is unforgettable.

📻 Born to Drown [M, 3.2k] 🖋️ Author: @floydig

🎵 Summary: Draco drives a Knight Bus in the slums of Paris. Sometimes his passengers remind him of Harry. But Harry left years ago. Now, Harry is married to Ginny, and Draco drives a bus. You laugh. “Sorry, I don't know why I’m laughing. It’s really not funny—your dad being dead and shrivelled.” “Fuck off.” I turn to face you. Your eyes are red, your pupils almost blown. Your skin is grey-tinged and sallow, and you're not the one who’s dead. “Merlin, Potter,” I say, hoarse. “How much bloody Dreamless did you shoot up this time?” “Enough for me to live.” You grin wide. “You want me to be alive, don’t you?” Your raw-bitten lips, your chipped teeth, your fucking mouth. I hate all of them, but really I don’t.

📻 Stop And Stare [T, 36.5k] 🖋️ Author: devilishcries

🎵 Summary: After surviving your everyday war-torn childhood, Harry had found a constant rhythm to his life. The thing is, he didn't quite like it. It was repetitive, dull, and he badly wanted to switch it up. So, when he stumbled upon Draco Malfoy on the verge of committing arson in a muggle library, he proposed a deal neither could refuse. (Well, Malfoy was desperately trying to refuse it. But that wasn't the point!) What he failed to factor in was how pretty Malfoy's hands were. One thing led to another, and suddenly, he was obsessed with the idea of holding them.

📻 Wicked Game [E, 20.9k] 🖋️ Author: @cassiopeiasshadow

🎵 Summary: Harry and Draco fall into a spring that allows them to enter into each other’s dreams - but Harry doesn’t quite understand what’s happening, not at first. Why does he keep seeing Draco having kinky sex with a dream version of Harry? And furthermore, why does he like it? Morpheus’ tail twitched irritably. “I warned you away from the poppies. The blame lies with you.” “Me? Potter’s to blame for this, he’s the one who dragged me out to this miserable -” “You would do well not to insult the home of those whom you ask for help,” said Morpheus coolly, though Harry saw a bit of detached amusement in his expression. Malfoy had no self awareness. It’s adorable how stupid he is, Harry thought, and then caught himself thinking Malfoy was adorable and became deeply troubled. “I’m…” Malfoy closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Sorry. Please - I need advice. I can’t keep him out of my dreams.”

📻 Dedication and Desperation [T, 6.1k] 🖋️ Author: meditationsinemergencies / @meditationswrites

🎵 Summary: Diagnosed with a rare and serious illness, Draco has mostly given up until Harry comes to visit.

📻 Famous [E, 23.9k] 🖋️ Author: fwooshy / @fw00shy

🎵 Summary: It's a couple of years after the war, and Harry's bored of models now, the same way he's bored of Ron's constant nagging, bored of his Weasley monogram knitwear, bored of the same fucking grin that greets him when he hands his fire-truck red Bugatti over to the valet every night. He wants to find—well, he isn't sure what he wants. Anything but models. Harry is in the mood for...messy. And Draco Malfoy's looking like a walking disaster in the making.

📻 stitched and sewn [E, 7.9k] 🖋️ Author: @wheezykat

🎵 Summary: Harry shudders, fingertips pulsing against Draco’s thighs. He can feel the sharp, metal edge of Harry’s wedding band digging into his flesh, knows he’ll have a bruise there in the morning, a small imperfection that only he’d be able to see. It’s one of the only marks he’ll vanish, not wanting to think about its implications; the rest he’ll keep for himself. Slowly, Harry relaxes, shoulders sinking, breaths changing their cadence to a new tempo. Resigned, surrendered to this dance they do.

📻 Watch the Castles Burn [E, 21.3k] 🖋️ Author: @moonflower-rose

🎵 Summary: Draco Malfoy knows better than to get involved with Harry Potter. If only someone would have reminded him of that six months sooner, then maybe he wouldn't be in quite such a large mess.

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 Modern Love [E, 61k, 5h29m] 🎙️ Podficcer: @lastontheboat 🖋️ Author: tackytiger

🎵 tackytiger’s original summary: Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is. And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t? Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years. And that’s what starts it all.

📻 [Podfic] How Can I Live Without You? [Gen, 2.2k, 15min 29sec] 🎙️ Podficcer: Static_Whisper 🖋️ Author: ununquadius

🎵 ununquadius’ original summary: After Draco's death, Harry wonders how can he live without the one he loves when he's so far away.

📻 [Podfic] Keep Holding On [M, 33.3k, 3hrs 37min] 🎙️ Podficcer: @thunder-of-dragons 🖋️ Author: gnarf

🎵 gnarf’s original summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget. Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state. Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry's newest grand idea to make everything worse. Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.

📻 [Podfic] Kill, Fuck, Marry [E, 12.7k, 1:27:55] 🎙️ Podficcer: @timothysboxers  🖋️ Author: lettersbyelise 

🎵 lettersbyelise’s original summary: Malfoy leans toward him with a baleful look. “I do believe Pansy Parkinson, my best friend, paid you to spend the evening with me. It’s my birthday, Potter. So you’re going to get off your Gryffindor arse, and you’re going to dance with me. I want to dance. I want to win. I want that bloody trophy on my shelf before the end of the night.” Harry and Draco unexpectedly meet again on Draco’s birthday, years after their last encounter.

📻 [Podfic] You Still Look Like a Movie / You Still Sound Like a Song [T, 3.2k, 19:43 min] 🎙️ Podficcer: bluedreaming / @blue--dreaming 🖋️ Author: shilo1364

🎵 shilo1364’s original summary: Harry Potter doesn't want to attend his ten-year Hogwarts Reunion Ball. He doesn't want to dance. And he *definitely* doesn't want to remember his former lover, Draco Malfoy. Of course, his life has never really been dictated by what he wants.

[goldentemplariumcrow]

Relief (from Talon Dickie)

@whxlmedwing || { relief } : one muse has been worked up and denied orgasm for days. the other decides to give one to them

Dio didn't wish to join in the hedonism of the week-long party the richest of the members of the Court Of Owls decided to throw for their members, it wasn't his style, but after five days of politely refusing their invitations, the Italian gave in and attended the gathering.

He refused the wine and the food, but chatted with those who approached him, heard of their plans for Gotham, what they wanted from the city as well as their plans of what to do next with it, but there was no real interest from his part until the midnight striked midnight and the interesting part of the night started, according to the group that had gathered around him to talk of their plans.

The creatures that came from behind a long and heavy red curtain were ornated from head to toes in gold, silver and gems, but completely exposed to their masters' eyes, put on display for their entertainment and pleasure, and compliant to their advances and voices. The favored Talons of the Court, the more obedient ones that did all their whims.

It takes no time for the group around Dio to dissipate among the crowd as they seek their favorite Talon or form new parties to play among themselves, which allows the blond space to go around the room and walk the stairs to a balcony from where he can see most of the party hall and who is doing what with who.

His pale gaze then falls on a bigger group around a Talon of white wings and dark hair. "He's mine." He sends the order through an energy wave to the group that stops and steps back from Dick like robots would do when a buttom is pressed, only coming back to themselves once the winged man is far from them — truly, it's terrifying to think the blond can do such with just a thought, to turn off the will and desire of another being, it's like being in the presence of a god that's hiding in human skin... and he favors the Talon over the assassin's masters, leaving him free of any metaphorical chains from his part.

His pale blue eyes watch as Dick takes a silent flight upwards and come to the edge of the balcony, perching himself on the safety rail for a single moment before Dio pulls him by the bedazzled, dangling leash connected to his leather collar — and that has fine chains that end on the piercings of his sensitive nipples — to bring him closer and over his lap.

"So this is where you've been..." Dio takes notice of his secret lover's already erect cock and supposes the Court has been giving him strong aphrodisiacs or someone had the duty of getting him hard enough to be ready to please the party guests on demand. "My songbird..." He calls softly while pressing the buttom that brings down the reinforced and dark glass of the balcony to prevent others from seeing the kiss he gives to Dick's lips once the erotic cacophony of the other guests is muffled.

It's a hungry kiss that denotes how much he missed the Talon in the time they've been apart, his tongue wraps on Dick's to bring his out, there's urgency to it, but also love and care as he embraces the Talon and brings him closer, wanting to feel his body and help with what's going on with him.

"Dick..." Dio whispers against his lips as his leathery fingers slide down the crack of his perky ass to feel the end of a buttplug inserted in him and a thin layer of lube. "Hold still for me." His fingers wrap on the toy's end and carefully pulls it out, then brings it to where the blond can see it. "Bastards don't even know how to pick a plug..." It's big and certainly stretched Dick, he judges the toy, before putting it to the side, the issue lies in where it hit inside, close enough to his sweet spot, but only to poke it, and Dio can guess the area is probably all sore from the bad poking. "Better?"

He wished they were at his home and Dick on his bed, wriggling and learning more about himself rather than dealing with chemicals and whatever else the Court deemed good for this "weak of pleasures" as he nicknamed the parties.

[justonemorechapternicercy]

to distract you from the serial killer yeti hunting you: Rachel and Nico are on a ski trip vacation to celebrate a successful business deal, but the weather gets super bad and they get snowed in with the suuuper cute staff member they hired to be their maid/cook/overall lil helper in their private lodge. Percy!

Thankfully your ask was too much to handle for the serial killer yeti, so in exchange, I hope you will like this little ficlet. Happy Valentine's day, I hope you will enjoy this more ;)

Everything was still and silent, yet Percy woke with a start. For a disorienting moment he wasn't sure where he was and what was happening, but then everything from the night before rushed back, and he realized that the quiet might have been because the storm had thankfully passed. No light came from the windows, so he had no real reason for waking up, except...

Oh.

Now, he really did remember everything.

He bit his lips as he cautiously moved slightly, careful not to wake up the red haired beauty in his arms, nor the handsome Italian draped over him. From their deep and even breathing, he guessed they were asleep, which was great, because he had a reason why he couldn't get out of the bed and go home.

It was just a night with two almost complete strangers, two people he assumed were on a romantic getaway, so there was no way they would want anything to do with him, except for having him as a little plaything in a dark, snowy night. Still, this way he could indulge himself just for a little bit in cuddling with them without being too clingy.

He almost moaned, when the man - call me Nico, caro mio - pushed a leg between his, completely molding himself to his back. He was warm, and heavy, and coupling it with the woman's - I'm Rachel, not Ms Dare, sweetie - soft curves fitting perfectly under him, he felt he was in Heaven.

Especially when he noticed something hard was pressing against his ass, and he might or might not was also affected by the situation. Last night was... Well.

Something he was going to remember for the rest of his life, that's for sure.

Nico was mumbling something, a name that suspiciously sounded like Percy, and he pushed his hips tightly against Percy's, while Rachel turned around, half-asleep, to face him. She looked so beautiful even without much light. Her curly hair was a mess, red locks were all over the place, even in Percy's face, but he wouldn't mind waking up to this forever.

"Mmm, good morning," she moaned, teasingly pushing her stomach tightly against his erection.

"What a good morning, indeed," Nico growled in his ear. Lighting bolts of lust ran through him, as the two of them shifted closer, rubbing themselves against him.

"I... I should..." Percy started, but he had to bite back a shout, as curious hands tried to find those spots that drove him wild the previous night. "Are you sure you... Ah... You want me here?" He finished it with a whimper. For a heartbeat they froze, then jerked back.

"What?" Nico gasped. "Of course, we want you here! Don't you want to...?" He asked, and tried to move away to give Percy space.

"Oh, no! I want to," he was quick to reassure. "I was just asking, because I didn't want to come between the two of you. You came here to be together, and now I'm here, and..." He was rambling. He knew he was rambling, and he wanted to stop, but-

Oh. Well. He knew it was a popular trope, but he didn't know it was this enjoyable to being shut up with a kiss.

But before he could let himself lose in the kiss, Rachel was already leaning away from him.

"Sweetie, we are coworkers and friends. This? What is happening now? Is purely because of you." With each sentence, she pressed a kiss on his cheek, his jaw, his neck, and his shoulder. He was a shivering mess, aching, and yearning.

"Last night, when we came here, and found you in the kitchen, baking for us while dancing to a silly little song, you immediately captivated the both of us. Then you wanted to leave, but you couldn't, we wanted you to stay with us to get to know you. We just came here for to celebrate a successful deal, but we found something even better: you," Nico said, his thumb caressing his elbow. A platonic little touch, yet Percy felt he was burning from inside out.

"Are you telling me," Percy moaned brokenly, "That you... What?"

"We want you. The both of us. Do you want us?" Rachel asked, looking into Percy's eyes to show she was being truthful.

"I..." His brow furrowed, but reaching a decision, he grinned. "I don't know what will happen in the future, but I want to get to know you," he said, then not leaving them a chance to reply, he kissed Rachel first, then Nico, making them forget about everything, except for the delightful young man begging for their attention.

---

When Percy agreed to clean and cook for a Ms. Dare and a Mr. di Angelo, he didn't know what he was getting into. Meeting with the pair of intimidatingly beautiful people was an... experience.

They were charming, and funny, and nothing what he expected. He was ready to hate the rich couple who asked for expensive wine that he could almost not get anywhere nearby, and wanted him to cook steak and other fancy dishes, but they were nothing like the stuck up assholes he expected them to be.

He... Liked them. And that started to become a problem as the night went on. He just had to leave, before he could have a crush on two unattainable people. But he couldn't.

As he pushed open the door, after saying good night to the pair, he was greeted with a rush of cold air that nearly knocked him off his feet. Snow rushed in a dizzying speed, and everywhere he looked, there was nothing but wall of white. The wind howled furiously, and he knew he was definitely not going home that night.

"Did you leave here something?" Rachel asked, concerned, when he rushed back to the living room.

"I'm so sorry, but can I stay here the night? I don't want to impose, and I know it is a lot to ask, but it seems there's a snow storm outside, and I really don't think I could go home in a weather like this," he asked with an apologetic look on his face.

"A storm?" Nico asked, surprised, and looking out the window, he had a grim look on his face. "No, no, devi stare qui. You can sleep here, we will make sure you won't get bored here with us," he declared.

Rachel's light little laughter filled the lodge, lighting up her whole face. "Yes, we will make sure it will be an enjoyable night for the three of us," she winked.

That was the moment that Percy should have made note of, that would define his future.

But even if he would have realized what they implied, he wouldn't have done anything differently, because he was already under their spell.

[raeynbowboi]

Why I Believe Angel and Husker Will (or Should) Be Endgame

As a shipper and a writer, I pride myself on finding the meat in shipping material, and despite how little official content for it is available, Hazbin Hotel’s juiciest pairing (by my observation, and not counting Charlie x Vaggie cuz that’s already canon) is Huskerdust or Angelhusk, the main mlm pairing in Hazbin Hotel between Angel Dust and Husker. While I’m a big fan of any mlm pairing no matter how small the serving size, this one is an absolute feast, and I want to explain why I think that is, because Angel flirts with multiple men in the first episode, namely Sir Pentious, Alastor, and Husker. So he just comes across as a relentless flirt, but I believe his destiny truly lies with the grumpy sourpuss bartender.

Given what we’ve learned about Angel Dust from the Addict music video and the prequel comic, it’s becoming clear that Angel doesn’t exactly love his situation. He pretends it’s fun and glamourous for his image, but it’s all an act. In the very last pannel for the comic, we can even see a box of dildos in his room with the words “for fun” crossed out, and the box being relabled as “work stuff”. I believe that Angel’s arc and character growth will be strengthened by having a love interest who cares about Angel as something beyond a sex object. Travis and Valentino clearly only see Angel as a piece of meat. Even Tom Trench one of the... less horrible denizens of Hell we’ve met, only recognizes Angel as a porn star, implying that he too only values Angel for his body. The creators have even verified that Angel will have a love interest in the series. So, that’s the easy part. Angel’s very clearly a gay man, and him having a love interest will help put the romance back in relationships with men for Angel. No surprises there. So why will/should it be Husker who fulfills that role as Angel’s redeeming lover?

In the simplest terms, it’s because their needs fit together perfectly. Angel needs someone to care about him romantically that also values his emotions, mind, and autonomy instead of just his body. Husk has likewise pretty much spelled out the flaw he needs to fix. He lost the ability to love years ago. Whether he just shuts out his emotions, someone broke his heart and now he’s jaded and bitter, or he freezes out his feelings so he won’t get hurt again, Husk has rejected love and his feelings. Learning to love and open up to Angel helps Husk to overcome those toxic coping mechanisms. Especially because his other vices such as drinking, are an extension of his core issue. His hang-ups with love. He drinks to forget and suppress. Overcoming his issues with his emotions will help Husk free himself of other sins in the process. Now the important issue though, does Husker even like boys? Yes, he does. Husker was confirmed by members of the crew to be pansexual, so he is capable of finding Angel attractive. Also, on a related note, Alastor is both Asexual and Aromantic, so he’s very unlikely to give Angel the core thing he needs, the tender appreciation of his romantic partner. That’s not to say Asexuals and Aromantics can’t date, it’s just less probable. And all the other males are either villains, or objectify Angel already. Which kind of leaves Husker as the best candidate for Angel’s love interest, at least currently. In fairness we know very little about Baxter, but that’s the thing. Without knowing anything about him, we can’t really weigh him against the other options.

Character design is very important, as it can provide visual cues about a character. Looking at these two, they share a lot of similarities. Starting from the top, while not visible here, there is a heart-shaped spot on the back of Angel’s head, and this heart appears as well on Husker’s forehead, palms, and wings. More importantly, I may be wrong, but I believe the only characters with hearts in their design are all connected to Angel. Only Travis and Val share this heart motif, two men Angel has had sex with, though in Valentino’s case, it's not always willingly. They share their wearing of a bow tie, but to be fair, Charlie wears one too, as does Sir Pentious, so it’s a weak connection. Color theory also matters. Firstly, they are Yin and Yang. Angel is mostly white with a few dark accents, while Husker is mostly dark gray/black with white accents. Angel’s left eye, bow tie, and shorts/skirt are also the same color (or pretty close) as Husker’s darker fur patches on his forearsms, ankles, ear tips, and whiskers. The stripes on Angel’s top also repeat in Husker’s ears. Finally, while not repeating on Angel’s design, Husker’s fur on his ankles resembles spats, a fashion trend from the early 1900s. Although this trend was pretty dead in widespread use by the 1940s, it remained popular with gangsters and mafia, so much so that it’s almost a streotype of mafia. Angel’s family was an Italian crime family involved with mafia dealings. So while it makes little sense for a man who died in the 1970s to be wearing spats, it connects him to Angel’s ballpark of time as well as drawing connections to Angel’s past and his family.

Hazbin Hotel has Instagram accounts for the characters, and using Husker (bar_cat75) Angel Dust (angie_fluffy_bootz) and Niffty (babyfeathrdustr), we can put together further developments in their relationship off-screen. Starting with one of Husker’s posts, we see Angel leaning on the bar offering him a ticket to his “peep show”. The next post shows Husker still at the bar, but now there’s drool on the counter, and we can see the back of one of Angel’s legs and the red smoke from the Addict video trailing behind him with the line “Fuck, I passed out. Did I miss something?” Next, there’s a post from Niffty of Angel leaning on the railing smoking as he does in the post-credits sequence of the Addict video. Granted, I can’t tell how much of Addict is prequel and how much is happening in real time following the pilot, but we know at least the ending is canonically after the pilot episode. Seems like Angel wanted Husker there (we don’t know if he offered tickets to anyone else) and he seems bummed that he didn’t go, with a later message from Husker (that I can only seem to find in Tumblr posts) with Husker realizing that he missed Angel’s show and feels bad about it. As “owing” Angel a favor for missing his show, Angel leaves his beloved pet pig Fat Nuggets in Husker’s care, who proceeds to eat all of Husker’s limes and cherries. Now it is very important to point out that Fat Nuggets seems to fill the dual role of “purse dog” and emotional support animal for Angel, so leaving him in Husker’s care shows a lot of trust because this animal means a LOT to him. There’s also apparently rumors that Alastor keeps trying to eat Fat Nuggets which... I haven’t found a credible source for. But if Angel is worried about Fat Nuggets’ safety, him trusting Husker to protect his pig only further demonstrates his trust in the grumpy old booze cat. Upset about all the fruit Fat Nuggets ate (because it’s not easy to get in Hell) Husker wants Angel to pay to replace what the pig ate, but Angel argues that because Husker owed him a favor it’s not his responsibility. Angel says he’ll pay him if Husker agrees to come to his next show, and they compromise to get milkshakes instead. The creators said Husker was a Tsundere, and it shows. Someone called their outing a date, and Husker was QUICK to shout that it wasn’t a date, just settling up on a favor. This almost plays out like an episode 2, turning the Addict Video into the jumping off point for a second story in the hotel. I don’t know how many full narratives will come out of the Instagram accounts like this, but it’s really cool how they’re approaching this almost like a multi-media story, and I’m curious to see if this will continue when the show starts airing on television. One last thing of note is that in Angel’s latest post, there’s pictures of Fat Nuggets, Cherri Bomb, and Husker on his bedroom wall, much to Husker’s annoyance. In all of these Instagram posts, Angel seems to now be training ALL of his attention on flirting with Husk, to the point that unless another character sweeps Angel off his feet or causes Angel to start flirting with them instead of Husker, I think this pairing is sailing quickly and unopposed toward the canon zone.

I hope I’ve provided sufficient proof to back up my wild accusations, but I sincerely believe all of the building blocks have already been assembled to create a compelling romance between these characters. The flaws they need to overcome interlock with each other perfectly, their designs draw connections between them, and their Instagram accounts weave together a narrative for a soft Episode 1.5. I believe all of this together points that these two are meant to become a romantic couple, and if they aren’t, then maybe the showrunners should consider it.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi! It's an au twilight question.

What if Edward and Bella did the nasty in early New moon. Then the party happens and the Cullens leave. Bella discovers she's pregnant with Renesmee. What do you think what would happen?

A very interesting question, anon. One that will go very interesting places, I'm sure.

That said, as usual, because I'm a completionist, we have to go through the "why no canon?" routine. Bear with me, I simply must.

Why Didn't Edward and Bella Do the Nasty Pre-Breaking Dawn?

For all that Edward is, for all his... questionable morals and sexual fixations, he does have a moral code he strictly holds himself to.

Edward is adamantly against having sex with Bella in terror of the very real possibility that he will murder her in the act. He's very clear about this, he didn't think he could do it, at all, and only his sheer desperation that Bella never be turned, his desire to marry Bella, as well as Alice's thumbs up convinced him to do it.

If Bella was a reasonable person then she would have agreed as well. Sex with Edward, while she's human, is a bad idea. However, Bella never really seems to clue in on what vampires even are so I think the Man of Steel on Woman of Kleenex aspect is lost on her.

Had Alice not given the green light, I imagine Edward would have gone back to the drawing board and ended up either here or here. Bella turning is the worst possible outcome and Edward will risk almost anything, even Bella's death, to see it avoided.

But that doesn't mean it's an action he takes lightly.

He suggests pimping Bella out to Jake before he suggests sleeping with her himself. For Edward, this is a last resort.

More, Edward is a man of his time.

Edward was from an upper class family and, more to the point, still holds himself to the standards of the society he knew when human (much to Bella's amusement).

Edward wistfully talks about courting Bella, how he would have courted her had he been a true man in the time period he was familiar with, and why marriage to him is so very important.

That Edward doesn't seek out the approval of Charlie, Bella's father, is a hilarious aside to me. Edward's all about chivalry until all those old society standards get in his way.

What do you mean a gentleman doesn't sneak into a lady's apartments in the middle of the night to watch her slumber unawares?!

Regardless, marriage is extremely important to Edward, especially in the context of sex.

Edward will absolutely not have sex with a woman who is not first his wife. He also will not marry a girl that society defines as underage, he will wait until Bella's legal and probably until she finishes her primary schooling.

This means Edward was never likely to have sex with her before graduation and certainly not before her eighteenth birthday.

Which, at the earliest, puts her past the New Moon birthday bash.

Edward and Bella Do the Do Anyway

But let's pretend they do it anyway.

I'd say the most likely scenario is after the birthday disaster. This is it, Edward knows he is leaving Bella forever, if he is truly noble then he will never see her again.

Certainly, he will never interact with her nor hold her in his arms. To Edward, this is essentially his last true night on Earth.

So rather than pull a partial D.E.N.N.I.S. system, Edward pulls the full D.E.N.N.I.S. system, he initiates the "I" he was previously missing, "Inspire Hope". Or, in this case, get laid for the first and only time in his life.

He sneaks in through her window. They make beautiful, passionate, tepid love so Edward does not crush her in the act, and as she sleeps blissfully in the aftermath he sneaks back out the window to never be seen again.

(It takes Bella a week to admit that Edward just hit and run. The Cullens aren't coming back.)

However, because Edward didn't actually point blank tell her what was happening, rather than hit her New Moon stage of depression, Bella's instead in denial.

The Cullens are coming back. What, Carlisle has a new job? No, that can't be right, they're coming back. Alice would never leave her without a word. Edward would never leave her without a word.

Jessica pats Bella on the back consolingly and is secretly glad that it's not her. She might have been dumped by Edward Cullen, but at least he didn't humiliate her the way he did Bella Swan.

Leaving without a single word, yikes.

Two weeks go by then Bella gets the flu.

In a single day, she's unable to keep down anything. Huh, that's weird. Very quickly, Bella has her tampon epiphany. Bella is not a virgin, she had sex with Edward, she's late, and she appears to have a baby bump.

Bella is carrying Edward's child.

There is no question of aborting the child. This is Edward's child, the only piece she has left of him, even without Renesmee's gift it's ride or die. Bella is delivering this child even if it kills her.

However, she has some immediate issues.

First, she's visibly pregnant, it's been only two weeks. That's not supposed to happen. More, Charlie is bound to notice sooner rather than later, Bella would like to avoid that, the stigma of teen pregnancy, as well as the inhuman complications that are sure to come along.

Second, there's inhuman complications. Bella can't just go to an OBGYN, not even a town over. She's carrying something half human, a doctor will poke around and find that out, and then Bella's blowing the secret.

Bella knows vaguely of the Volturi at this point, but not the severity of the law, it's more that she promised Edward she would never tell a soul.

Plus, a human doctor wouldn't be able to help anyway.

That leaves vampires.

Bella tries to call/email the Cullens. However, thanks to Edward, all their numbers are disconnected and all their emails no longer exist. Her "Alice, help, I'm pregannant" messages are sent to a void.

(Alice, meanwhile, thinks she's finally successful in blocking visions of Bella. At least Edward will be off her back. Without the cliff diving and Jake, Alice does not assume Bella has died/committed suicide.)

A brief internet survey also yields Bella no results, but it does get her a lot of vampire porn. Thanks internet.

Bella... starts to get worried.

She's getting more and more pregnant in a matter of days, Charlie is starting to notice that she can't keep anything down, and the Cullens aren't taking her phone calls.

Then, Bella has it, she remembers that weird baroque painting Carlisle had of him and those Italian vampire dudes: the Volturi. Conveniently named after the city they live in, Volterra, Italy.

Bella debates her options.

Edward told her that these are the guys who make sure that humans who know the secret disappear. Well, Bella is a human who knows the secret, that's bad. Also bad is that they eat people, Bella is a person.

On the other hand, Edward implied these guys are civilized and friends of Carlisle. That's... good? Bella isn't sure she's on good terms with the Cullens, given the whole abrupt leaving thing, but maybe they don't have to know that.

Bella debates with herself, tries to look up the Denali, and only finds the National Park. She has no idea where these guys even live, or what they even look like besides "blonde hot vampire", and she's short on time. Plus, they are close with the Cullens, so the Cullens probably did tell them "Ew, Bella, No Gross, Do Not Want".

Because the Cullens all hate her now.

Bella has some money saved up, and this is probably a one way trip, and if she doesn't go then... well, it's not looking good. Bella musters up her courage, tells Charlie some outrageous fib to explain why she's disappearing off the face of the planet, and books a flight to Rome, then Pisa, then a bus ride to Volterra.

Bella subsists completely on blue gateorade, this doesn't go well, and she vomits blue in the parking lot.

Regardless, she makes it, huzzah she is in Volterra. It's sunny out and there are no vampires. Bella wanders around the city and looks for the most vampire building she can find.

Luckily, she happens to be right, and it's the very central castle. Well done, Bella.

Bella walks in and spots a vampire. She also spots a receptionist, Bella is very confused. Never the less, Bella says the magic words, "I'm a... friend of Carlisle Cullen?"

Even though Bella doesn't have Aro's name (or any of the other Volturi for that matter), Carlisle's name does the trick. Anyone who works for Aro knows that name.

Color Aro intrigued, he will meet this pregnant woman! (Caius, meanwhile, votes that they eat her immediately out of spite.)

Well, Aro touches her hand and lo and behold she's scarily gifted. And she knows Carlisle, what a great day to be Aro.

Aro explains that everything's totally fine with her knowing the secret, it just means they have to turn her eventually, after she gives birth of course.

Bella stares at him numbly and wonders why Edward made this such a big deal if it was that easy.

Aro insists Bella start from the beginning, as in the very beginning of her life. This is weird, but Bella complies.

An hour later they get to the interesting part: Bella meets Carlisle (and Edward Cullen, Aro guesses). Aro gets to hear the whole, sordid, ridiculous tale of Bella and Edward's romance including the part where he fucked her and ran off into the night.

Aro is stunned.

He first apologizes for the Cullens behavior, they should absolutely not have abandoned her, and not turning her was completely irresponsible (what the hell was Carlisle thinking?)

He then gives the bad news, he... has never heard of anything like this.

You see, normal vampires don't have sex with humans. It isn't done.

Also, there's this thing called Immortal Children (Edward tell you about that, no? Well, he probably thought it wasn't relevant). That thing your carrying might not be a child capable of growth but an insatiable monster.

Or it could be the alien from Aliens.

There's no way to tell, really.

BUT NO NEED TO WORRY, BELLA, THEY WILL FIGURE THIS OUT.

Aro promises Bella his protection and a period of observation for the child. Bella's not sure she likes that observation part, but this seems like a pretty sweet deal otherwise.

As for what to do, well, Aro has to call in the foremost vampire medical expert. Sorry, Bella, but there's only one man for the job.

Aro sends out Demetri to find Carlisle.

Demetri shows up on Carlisle's doorstep, "Carlisle, old friend, Aro has need of you. Your son knocked up a human girl."

Carlisle blinks, blinks again, then does a thousand yard stare. My God.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Edward is already on Victoria's tail. Carlisle tries to call him, to no avail, Edward isn't taking his phone calls.

Alice and Jasper are already on their trip to hunt down Alice's past. Plus, given the Volturi, they'd be unlikely to come anyway. Carlisle sends them a message.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett travel to Volterra to clean up Edward's mess.

And sure enough, there's Bella, very pregnant with a child that is very much not human. Carlisle dies inside, Rosalie's on a warpath that Edward would abandon his pregnant girlfriend to the point where the only place she could turn was human drinking vampires.

Rosalie takes it upon herself to leave Edward the world's angriest voice messages until he returns her phone calls.

Aro's delighted to see Carlisle again. Even if he does have a wife now. Also, Aro claims finders keepers for Bella, Carlisle's not happy about this and less happy that Aro points out that if Edward cared so much he wouldn't be absent right now, would he?

They figure out the blood drinking thing, Carlisle desperately raids a hospital to prevent Bella from being fed the leftovers of the Volturi victims. This likely doesn't work out for him.

At the last possible moment, Edward finally picks up his phone. He learns that all he's tried to accomplish failed spectacularly. Bella is pregnant with his demon child, is literally drinking blood, and is in Vampire HQ with the leader insisting she will be turned immediately after the C-section.

Edward races to Volterra and strides into the room demanding Bella be aborted and remain human.

Aro stares.

Carlisle awkwardly explains that Bella's too far along, it's too late now even if they wanted to, more she adamantly doesn't want to abort and never did.

As for Bella being human... Bella pipes in that she's cool on becoming the vampire part. Aro's a great guy. She then races to embrace Edward, he's come back, after all this time. And he's going to be a father, isn't that wonderful?

Edward loses his mind.

And because this is Edward, I have no idea what he'll do, only it'll be utter madness. This is my best guess.

To be a little more serious, he probably tries to abort the child anyway, he mercy kills Bella and the child, or Renesmee manages to get through to him.

Given canon, it's likely the latter. Bella is convinced that her and Edward's relationship is perfect.

Aro has no idea what to think of any of this.

[guardianofrivendell]

Dwarves Always Knock Thrice

Requested: Yes and no. @estethell​ challenged me to write a modern AU with Fíli and Kíli knocking at the reader’s door instead of Bilbo’s by mistake. I interpreted it as a ‘what if Fíli and Kíli end up in modern day Europe?’

Warnings: none so far, I wrote this with a fem!reader (sorry! I try to write more gender neutral in the future, I promise)

Summary: What if one day your favorite fictional characters knock on your door? A modern AU with a twist! (any similarities to what I would do in this case are purely coincidental 😏)

A/N: Yes, yes, I know. There are hundreds of fics like this one. But none of them were written by me and my weird sense of humor 😆 Depending on the response I’ll turn this into a multichapter fic, if not this will stay a standalone oneshot. 

Humming a rather cheerful tune, you pressed the button on top of the coffee machine and your morning fuel started dripping into your favorite cup. You waited patiently until the foam reached the edge and then you turned the machine off. With the cup held between your hands, you inhaled deeply. Nothing like the smell of fresh coffee for a perfect start of the day.

A few minutes ago your boyfriend had left to go to work, only to see him again by the end of next week. He was going on a citytrip with your group of friends for a few days, which had been planned ages ago.  You were supposed to go with them, but unfortunately, you didn’t have any vacation days left. No, it was back to work for you instead. 

Not that you minded. You loved your job, and you were lucky enough to be able to work from home when you wanted to. It didn’t actually feel like work that way. At least you had decent coffee, you didn’t have to dress up and you could take a break whenever you wanted.  And now with your boyfriend gone for the week, you had no interruptions and lots of quiet evenings to look forward to. Cheers to that, you thought while you sipped at your coffee. 

The dinner table became your makeshift workplace, coffee within reach. There were no video meetings scheduled today so you were wearing your favorite pair of black leggings and a long oversized knitted sweater, with fluffy socks on your feet to complete your comfy outfit. 

You moved your computer mouse and your laptop sprung to life.  James, your Sphynx cat, hopped on the table and pushed his head in your hand, demanding cuddles.

“Another day at the office, how dreadful,” you smiled, petting him behind his ear. James purred and started to bathe himself. 

He was a Sphynx cat, so there was no fur. Nothing but flawless pink skin, soft to the touch. It almost felt like petting a warm peach. You chuckled at the comparison, and James stopped his grooming to look at you. 

“Oh, I’m sorry your Majesty. I’ll let you to it.” 

You booped his nose and got to work. 

After a day of sifting through emails, processing data and editing documents and spreadsheets, you felt utterly exhausted. A phrase your boyfriend likes to throw at you on these moments suddenly came to mind, ‘How can you be so tired when you’ve done nothing but sit down on your ass all day?’ Always the charmer.

You stood up, raised your arms above your head and stretched, groaning in the process. You froze when your stretch session was interrupted by three knocks on your front door. 

“Who still knocks these days?”

It was almost 6 pm, slowly turning dark outside and you’d let the shutters down about an hour ago. It was something you did as soon as the sun was setting. It was silly really, but it made you feel safe. 

But now it prevented you from seeing who was at your door.

The neighbours from down the street wouldn’t come by for a visit, they were the kind of people that liked to keep to themselves. Your parents would call first, so… a polite burglar perhaps?

You couldn’t be too careful these days, especially now, when you were alone, so you went to your intercom first to see who was at the door. 

The camera didn’t show anyone. You could see a part of your front yard, but that was it. Strange… You thought you could hear voices, so maybe there was someone at the door after all. Maybe someone had driven their car into the ditch. Wouldn’t be the first time. You lived in the countryside, with roads where only one car at a time could pass, with ditches on both sides. A challenge for city people, and the occasional daredevil usually had to be towed out of said ditch. 

What’s life without a little risk, you thought, and made your way to the front door. You weren’t the one to turn away from people in need. It would probably get yourself killed one day, you were too kind and gullible and people tended to take advantage of that. 

Another three knocks sounded, a little louder this time and you swung the door open. 

“Finally!”

Your boyfriend rushed inside and shot up the stairs. When you looked to your driveway, you saw his car with the lights on, the motor still running. He was running late again. As usual. 

After a few minutes he thundered down the stairs, his hiking boots in hand. 

“Almost forgot these,” he said while lifting them. He kissed your cheek and ran off.  You sighed. “See you next week, sweet. I’ll miss you.” 

Sarcasm was your way to cope, to learn how to deal with the lack of love and care. Because who were you kidding? He wouldn't miss you. 

You shuffled to your kitchen, in need of something hot. To drink, that is. And while the coffee machine filled your cup for the second time that day, you rubbed your face with your hands trying to think of how you had ended up in this situation in the first place… 

“Just try and enjoy a week by yourself,” you whispered. 

You were about to take a first sip when three knocks sounded for the third time.

“Seriously?”

When you opened the door, you couldn’t stop the massive eyeroll when you saw it was your boyfriend again. 

“Hand me the reservation papers of the hotel, will you? I forgot them and I need the address for the gps,” he said. 

“I sent it in an email to Tom, and I put the address in the gps system yesterday. Now go, you’re late enough as it is. Call me when you get there okay?”

He smiled and kissed your cheek again. 

“Bye! Enjoy your week by yourself!” “I will, don’t worry,” you smiled. 

Before you closed the door there was a bright white flash. You covered your ears on instinct, something you always did when there was a thunderstorm. 

“That was very closeby,” your boyfriend gasped. “They didn’t say anything about a thunderstorm tonight.” “I’m not sure that was lightning… there was no thunder?” “It’s probably nothing to worry about.”

And with those words your boyfriend left for the second time that night. 

After closing the front door with a small heart, you tried to calm yourself.  You were terrified of thunderstorms, and you really didn’t feel like going through one when you were on your own. Let’s just hope he was right and it was nothing, you thought. 

Your coffee…! Taking a sip from the now lukewarm drink, you pondered if you would make it into an Irish or Italian one. Heaven knows you deserved it, right?  With your coffee still in hand you made your way over to the liquor cabinet, only to be interrupted by yet another pair of knocks on the front door.

“I’m going to kill him,” you murmured while you walked into the hallway. “What could he have possibly forgotten this time?”

You swung the door open with a little too much force, but you couldn’t care less by that time. The small amount of patience you had left was already out of the window and you just wanted to enjoy your spiked coffee. 

“What did you forg-?!”

Your voice got caught in your throat when your eyes fell on your visitors. Visitors. As in plural. Definitely not your boyfriend.  You recognized them immediately, there was no doubt who they were but… it couldn’t be! This was simply impossible!

In your shock you forgot you were holding your cup of coffee and it slipped out of your hand. The cup completely shattered on the floor but you hardly noticed. 

Because right in front of you, in the light of your porch light at your very own doorstep, stood Fíli and Kíli. 

As in Fíli and Kíli, nephews to Thorin, King under the Mountain. As in Fíli and Kíli, characters from The Hobbit. Fictional characters. With a heavy emphasis on ‘fictional’. Made up by Tolkien. 

So how the hell was it possible that they were standing in front of you, alive and well?

The two Durin brothers were a bit taken aback so it seemed, because they too remained silent at first. After a few awkward seconds Kíli was the one who decided to speak up instead of his older brother. He was clutching his sword and quiver, just like he did in the movie. 

“Kíli,” he began. He was side eyeing his brother who was still staring at you, and smacked Fíli’s chest when he didn’t respond.  “What?”  “Kíli,” Kíli repeated, pointing at himself and then at his brother who finally caught on. “And Fíli.” “At your service,” they both continued, bowing deeply.

“Y/N, at yours,” you responded without a second thought.  Kíli’s face split into a wide smile.

“We’re looking for master Boggins!” “Yeah, I kind of expected you to say that,” you murmured, but they heard you. “Oh, so you’re a seer?” Kíli assumed excitedly. “No! No, I’m just… me. But there is no mister Baggins here,” you said, correcting Kíli. “Are we at the wrong house?” Fíli wondered.   “I’m afraid so.” “Well… can you help us find him?” Kíli looked at you expectantly.

You sighed. “I would but, I’m afraid it’s a little more complicated than that.”

Both of their faces fell. They were so in character, if someone was pranking you, they did one hell of a job in finding these two actors. And their costumes were spot on, from the carvings on Kíli’s bow to the colour of Fíli’s fur coat. It was scaringly accurate… They looked so much like Dean and Aidan’s version, but not quite. You didn’t know why exactly, but you had the feeling they were real. They were Fíli and Kíli, sons of Dís. 

Fíli stared at you with a confused expression. “What do you mean, my lady?”

Oh. Now, if you weren’t already a little enamored by their looks, the title he just gave you would have. You weren’t exactly used to endearments. 

Not that Fíli had meant as an endearment but you wouldn’t mind if they called you my lady for the rest of your life. It just made you grow a couple of inches. 

“I’m probably going to regret this, but… come in.”  You stepped aside so they could enter the hallway. 

The heavy boots they were wearing made scratching sounds on your tile floor and your mind immediately went to your delicate wooden floors in the rest of your house. 

You were going to sound extremely bossy and uptight but you had to think of your interior. 

“Could you both maybe take off your boots?”

The two brothers looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. 

“If you want?” Fíli asked you. 

“Please.”

You took the swords and quiver from Kíli so he had his hands free and placed them in a corner of your hallway. Fíli followed your example and added his own weapons to the pile. 

“I trust you not to attack us when we’re unarmed,” he winked at you. 

You smiled back at him, knowing all too well he still had some smaller knives hidden somewhere.  For a moment the thought of reenacting the knife scene in Mirkwood crossed your mind, but you thought better of it. He wouldn’t find it as funny as you thought it was and you’d probably lose a finger or two if you tried to take a knife from him. It was best not to challenge him. Yet. 

Once their boots were placed neatly next to their weapons, you motioned them to follow you into your living room. Your eyes drifted to the shards of your coffee mug and the spilled coffee, you needed to clean it up but it simply had to wait.

“I don’t really know how to begin explaining all this,” you said, while waving your arms around you, “but it might be a good idea if we sit down?”

You gestured towards the sitting area and both brothers took a seat on your couch.

It seemed like they didn’t know where to look first.  Their eyes wandered to your tv, surround system, laptop, aquarium, … 

Kíli whispered something in Fíli’s ear, to which the older brother shrugged his shoulders.

“Do you want to drink anything?” you suggested. “I have water, milk, beer, …”

Their eyes lit up when you mentioned the beer, so you nodded your head. 

“Beer it is, although I need to warn you. It’s Belgian beer, so it’s probably a lot stronger than what you guys are used to.”

You mentally facepalmed at your last sentence, why did you even mention that? They didn’t realize they were in a different universe, so mentioning your country would give them zero information. 

“I think we can handle it just fine,” Kíli commented with a smirk. Fíli nodded in agreement.  “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

After another look at the dwarves on your couch, you disappeared into your kitchen. You fetched two beer glasses out of the dishwasher and two bottles of beer from your fridge, before you noticed how much your hands were shaking.

Okay, Y/N, you need to calm down first… Easy to say when you have two dwarves sitting in your living room. Dwarves! And your favorite dwarves too.  How many times had you imagined this exact moment in your fantasies? In your dreams? 

Of course! That was it…!  You probably fell asleep at your laptop and you were dreaming.  But then why did it feel so real?

Maybe someone was pranking you after all? Nah, that wasn’t likely. Nobody knew you were even in the Tolkien fandom. Let alone who your favorite characters were. 

So it must be a dream... But if you were dreaming, they definitely would have been an exact copy of the movie Fíli and Kíli. As in, Dean and Aidan in costumes. The ones sitting on your couch looked slightly different, still handsome - Mahal, did they look handsome - but you would probably refer to them as discount Dean and Aidan. 

Your small mental breakdown was interrupted when Kili started to scream. 

“What is that?!”

Quickly snatching the bottles and glasses in both of your hands, you hurried back to the Durin princes. 

When you entered your living room, you were met with quite the hilarious view. Tolkien had described Fíli and Kíli as fearless and courageous, but there was nothing courageous about their behaviour right now.Fíli was sitting with his legs pulled up and Kili half on Fili’s back, pointing at James who was trying to jump on Fili’s lap. 

“That’s James, my cat.”

“That’s a cat?!” Kíli yelled. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing!” you laughed, placing the glasses and bottles on the coffee table. “He’s a sphynx cat, he’s supposed to look like that. They don’t have fur.”

You called James and he immediately ran to you, so you could pick him up. He rubbed his head against your chin and started purring, happy to get some attention. 

You crouched down before the two princes.

“Go ahead, pet him. You don’t have to be scared.” “We’re not scared,” Kíli protested, puffing out his chest.  You smirked and rolled your eyes. “Of course not.”

They were wary at first, but eventually both brothers were petting James. Before you could stop him, James jumped out of your arms on Fíli’s lap and curled up against the fur of his coat. 

Fíli froze and tried his best not to let it show that he wasn’t comfortable with this at all. Next to him, Kíli had the hardest time keeping a straight face, biting his lip in an attempt to stifle his chuckles but his shoulders were already shaking with laughter. 

You poured their beer and placed it in front of them. 

“Like I said, it’s pretty strong so small sips. Do you want me to take James away?” Fíli shook his head. “I-it’s fine!”

You took a seat on your other couch and anxiously started to rub your thighs. 

“So… like I said, I don’t really know how to explain this but I think I know what happened to you.” “Wait… did something happen to us? I don’t understand?” Kíli asked, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

Oh, right. They didn’t realise they were in a different universe right now. Maybe you should take a different approach. 

“Can you tell me what happened before you knocked on my door?”

Kíli took the two glasses and gave one to his brother before he took a gulp, humming appreciatively. 

“I like this,” he said. “And to answer your question, we traveled to the Shire and knocked on the door with the mark. And here we are!” “But… my door doesn’t have a mark?”

It was Fíli’s turn to roll his eyes. “Kee, you’re not telling the whole story. But you’re right about this,” he smiled while raising his glass, taking another sip. “This is good stuff.”

You chuckled when you saw some foam sticking to his mustache.  He raised an eyebrow at you. “What’s so funny?”

“I have enough beer in the fridge, you don’t have to save some for later,” you laughed, pointing at your own lip to get the message across. 

Fíli quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. The movement made James shift in his lap and the Dwarf went rigid again.  You decided not to say anything about it, you figured maybe Fili didn’t like cats that much. Or just James. 

“So what did Kíli leave out?” “Your door wasn’t the first one we knocked on. There was a round, green door in the Shire. And that one had the mark of Gandalf. He’s a wizard.”

You nodded. So far it went exactly like it should. Shire, green door, mark. 

“But when we knocked on it, we found ourselves in a field all of a sudden. And your house was the only one around so we figured that was where we were supposed to be. Since Gandalf is a wizard, you never know what to expect.”

Okay, that was different. It almost sounded as if they went through a portal of some sort. Like a portkey? They touched the portkey and traveled to a different universe? But portkeys weren’t part of Middle Earth, that was Harry Potter. Did they have something similar?

“You’re not in Middle Earth anymore,” you said softly. 

Both brothers stared at you with wide eyes, their beer long forgotten. Kíli looked at his older brother, and pulled at his sleeve.

“What does she mean by that?”

Fíli kept his eyes fixed on your face, searching your features to see if you were lying. If you were trying to prank them. 

“It means that you traveled between different worlds. In my world, where you’re in right now, Middle Earth is fictional. A story. It doesn't exist. Just like my world doesn’t exist where you’re from.” “I don’t believe you,” Kíli said with a frown. 

You had expected this. It’s not like you would’ve believed them if you were in their place. 

“Look around,” you tried to explain, “you can see things you recognize. The furniture, me being a human, … But you can also see things that you don’t understand. They are from this world.”

“You said Middle Earth was a story to you?” Fíli asked you.  “Yes. There are tales about Middle Earth, and Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, the race of Men, … Orcs, wargs, goblins,” you explained, careful not to mention anything about their storyline or the one with the One Ring. “But I’ve never thought it could be real.”

They stayed silent for a few moments, letting it all sink in. 

“How… How do we get back to Middle Earth?” Fili wondered.  “I’m sorry, I really don’t know. But I’m going to help you find your way back. We’ll figure something out.” 

You played with your fingers, a telltale sign you were nervous.

“And in the meantime you can stay here... With me.”

A/N: There you go... This is the setup for a possible new multichapter fic if people are interested in it.   Just think of the two brothers in a modern day kitchen and bathroom, how the reader tries to cope with her fictional crush in her home and... how will they get back to Middle Earth? Would you be interested to read that? Let me know!  And of course let me know what you thought of this story :) 

A/N part 2: Sometimes tumblr switches paragraphs for no reason at all, if you notice this happened, send me a message! I’ll try and keep an eye on it myself, but some help is always appreciated.

Permanent taglist: @roosliefje​ @kata1803​ @artsywaterlily​ @entishramblings​ @sleepy-daydream-in-a-rose​ @marvelschriss​ @kumqu4t​ @myrin1234​ @dark-angel-is-back​ @the-fandoms-georgie​ @lathalea​ @xxbyimm​ @sokkasdarling​ @katethewriter​ @aredhel-of-gondolin​ @leethology​ @thepeanutcollective @elvish-sky​

Kíli taglist: @elles-writing​ @sxperncturalimpala67​

[anthropologist-on-the-loose]

Hi! I’m curious about your extra year of high school gap year in Italy! How did you get involved with that? Is there an organization that arranges these experiences? And how did you fit into high school there, given that, as far as I know, students there specialize toward a career earlier than in the US? Did you already speak Italian? You’re describing my dream that I thought was impossible!

Yes!!! I am more than happy to talk about this and help high school students find potential resources, because it is very much possible!! [Important note before I start: I am speaking entirely from a USA perspective. I know there are exchange programs in other countries, but I don't know about them.]

I got lucky; I knew about the potential for a gap year exchange student program since forever because my mom had done the same thing back in the 80's - take a gap year between high school and college, and attend an extra year of high school abroad.

While there are a number of programs out there that do gap years for exchange students, I ended up going through Youth For Understanding (YFU). I looked into a few different programs but in the end YFU was the best fit for me, and I honestly would really recommend them. They've been around since 1951 so they have a lot of experience, and they were actually the exact same program that my mom went through. I will say, it does cost some money, but the costs are also WAY less than a single year at a state university. I know some people in my same program had scholarships, so that is definitely a possibility.

The way it works is you apply for a program, then before you're fully accepted YFU sends out a representative to interview you. The interview is to see if you would be a good fit for the program, and if you seem like you would be able to handle living with strangers in a different country. Then YFU partners with an exchange program in your target country and creates a profile about you. They send your profile to families looking for an exchange student, so that the family can decide if they think you'll be a good fit. You get to choose which country you want to go to, but you rarely get to choose where you get to go within that country; it all depends on where your host family lives.

They also take care of enrolling you in school; if you have host siblings, you will usually go to the same high school that they do. You have a YFU connection in the states, but more importantly you also have an adult representative of YFU (who is NOT your host family) from the target country to help you take care of problems that might arise. Any issues with school, visas, travel, host family problems, etc., the representative will help you deal with.

Now, I didn't mean to choose Italy. I actually had planned on going to a French speaking country. My mom had done her gap year in French Switzerland, and I had taken 3 years of high school French. However, I have never ever in my entire life been good at planning long term and I waited too long - by the time I applied for the program, every single spot in every single Francophone country was full. But I figured, hey, Italy is pretty, and it has lots of history, and it's a still a romance language, right?

So yeah, going in I didn't actually speak any Italian, though I think my knowledge of French grammar helped a little bit. But honestly, there is quite simply no better way to learn a language than to be immersed in it. If you've studied languages at all I'm sure you've heard that before, but it's true. Studying a language in high school is light-years away from real immersion, but that's expected. YFU actually organized Italian language lessons for everyone in the Italy program because they assumed that no one had any experience with Italian.

As far as fitting in goes, it's kind of like any other high school. Yeah, some places do choose a vague career path by high school, but that doesn't mean you won't fit in. In fact, one of my problems was that everyone in my class was super studious and didn't have a lot of time to hang out - it had nothing to do with a lack of friendliness. Usually you start out as the oddity that everyone wants to know and ask questions of, and as time goes on there are usually at least one or two students who become true friends, legitimately interested in you as a person and not just as "the foreign exchange student". Of course, just like any other time in your life, there's no way to predict or plan who you will meet or get along with. That's part of the journey of it all.

I cannot recommend doing a gap year exchange program highly enough. Having already graduated high school meant that I didn't have to worry about my grades at all, and I could focus on the experience of living in another country with another family. It was also my first experience really being on my own, and because I was older (18-19) I felt more comfortable and confident than if I had gone when I was younger. Because it is definitely not always easy or smooth sailing, even for the most prepared or well-adjusted of students.

If you or any other student has any other questions about what it's like to participate in a high school exchange program, please message me!! That gap year was, to this day, one of the best things I've ever done and I would love to help more people get to have that experience.

[mcheang]

Lila doesn't know that Luka is Juleka's brother so she tries claiming that he is a delinquent and a bad influence on Marinette.

Gossip report

One day when Lila was leaving school, pondering on how to steal Adrien from Kagami, she spotted Marinette talking to a boy with blue hair and a guitar.

He was obviously older and definitely cute.

Nearby two girls were whispering about how lucky Marinette was to have this senior student asking her out.

Well, Lila certainly hates it when the spotlight isn’t on her.

Later that day, while hanging out with the girls (because Marinette was definitely out on a date), Lila tried to be the one to start the gossip chain.

Lila: hey girls, I don’t want to alarm anyone but do you think Marinette will be fine with Adrien off the market?

The girls exchanged shrugs. “She’ll be fine. She’ll move on.”

Lila feigned concern. “That’s what i am worried about. I think Marinette is so heartbroken, she’ll give her heart to anyone who gives her the time of day. I just saw her after school talking to some high school dropout.”

Pause.

Juleka: what did he look like?

Lila: he had blue hair, rode a bike (let them think it’s a motorcycle) and wore grungy clothes. *gasp*

Alix: and what makes you think he’s a bad influence?

Lila saw her pink hair and quickly backtracked on looks. “I could tell by his face. He looks so smug, arrogant and sneaky. The kind of boy you see smoking and dealing with drugs.”

Juleka: I see...

Lila: so you see, we must interfere on Marinette’s behalf, before his claws are in too deep.

Or at least they will because everyone knows Marinette will never listen to Lila.

Juleka was using her phone and at last found an image of Luka, alone at one of his favorite rock concerts. The background was dim and he was making faces for the camera.

Juleka: was this the boy you saw?

Lila: that’s him! What do you girls think? Delinquent or what?

Mylène: i think you should give him a chance. Don’t be deceived by appearances.

Lila: trust me! I’m a good judge of character. This boy is bad news. He’s the type of guy who ends up in jail and drunk.

Rose decided to intervene. “He’s also Juleka’s brother.”

Oh....

Alya: maybe you should check your facts before you go spreading rumors.

Lila’s brain: hypocrite!

Lila: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend. I just got so worried for Marinette.

Mylene: we understand Lila. But Luka’s a genuinely sweet boy.

Rose: all the girls at his school like him

Alix: he’s a real artist, in a musical way

Alya: he’s a member of Kitty Section and the songwriter of their songs

Juleka: and he’s a great judge of character. If he doesn’t like somebody, we don’t like him. It’s a band thing.

Lila sweatdropped. “Oh. Well I can’t wait to make his acquaintance and get to know him better.” Maybe she could make Marinette look bad to him and he could tell Kitty Section?

Alya: no worries. Luka’s taking Marinette back here for guitar lessons

Lila: great (at this line, even I can’t tell if she is sincere or not)

Luka and Marinette arrived on his bike. His travel worn jacket and ripped jeans hardly a cause for alarm. Beneath his bright blue hair were darker, soulful eyes.

The moment they stepped through the door and saw Lila, Marinette predictably scowled and Luka surprisingly flinched.

Before Lila could start charming him, Juleka beat her to it with a request to help him keep his bicycle. (As if. Their boat was cluttered and he could have dumped his bike anywhere.)

The moment they were alone, sister asked brother. “What was her music?”

Luka winced. “Loud. Very loud. Like fire alarm loud that you can’t hear anything else.”

Juleka: she sounded like a fire alarm?

Luka: no, she sounded like screechy violins. Like a novice attempting to be Mozart on her first try, and in vain.

Juleka nodded, worry wrinkling her brow. “I understand.”

Juleka headed back to the group and clapped her hands. “So sorry everyone. But it’s time for a band meeting. So everyone who isn’t Kitty Section, I’m sorry but you’ll have to leave soon.”

Alix: no worries. I can meet up with Nathaniel at the museum.

Alya: and I have to be at a date with Nino anyway.

Mylène: I’ll go call Ivan over.

Lila frowned, correctly assuming Luka didn’t like her and told Juleka. “Is it because of me? Does Luka doesn’t like me?” Cue crocodile tears.

Juleka quickly reassured her. “No. No. He just isn’t used to Italian music, and he’s been very cautious about creating music since Bob Roth. So only band members are allowed.”

Lila: but why isn’t Marinette leaving with us?

Marinette: i have to see them to perform to think of what costumes i have to design for them.

Lila’s brain: darn, she has a legit excuse.

Lila: please, can’t I stay?

This time it was Rose who spoke. Kindly, but firmly. “Sorry Lila. But this is strictly band business. Besides, aren’t you meeting with the president’s daughter online soon? To discuss charity options?”

Lila hid her rage. “Right. Thanks for reminding me.”

As Lila expected, and to Marinette’s surprise, for the rest of the afternoon, Kitty Section warned the rest of their class not to trust Lila. Alix and Alya were already suspicious about her since she tried to malign Luka, and his reaction just confirmed it.

Alya finally fact checked her work and took down Lila’s interview, apologising for posting false information.

Nino told Adrien, who already knew. Nino warned Adrien to tell the truth next time because tabloid gossip is different from deceiving friends.

The next day at school, Lila didn’t bother to show. When Caline reported she was ill, the class finally told her she was a liar and is probably lying now.

Caline: do you have proof?

Alya: yes! And if she’s been lying about Ali, she’s been skipping school for months.

Caline finally became serious. “Well then I shall have to contact her mother.”

Alya smirked. “As Vice President I already sent her an email (double checking the embassy website) asking for confirmation if her daughter had really been in Achu for months. Because after her lie about being Ladybug’s best friend (I attached the video link) and her claims of being Prince’s Ali’s buddy, I am skeptical of her claim to be in Achu for all that time.”

Caline’s frowned deepened.

But as it turns out, Caline needn’t have called Mrs Rossi because she dragged her daughter to school to see the principal after she opened her company email and saw the video. Her colleagues told her what was up and even how her own daughter had been akumatized more than once.

It’s a shame they didn’t get to see the scolding happen. But Mrs Rossi forced Lila to tell the whole class the truth. As Lila had been missing so many classes, Kim pointed out there was no way she could graduate unless she took summer school and make up classes.

Lila protested she already saw the online video lessons.

But Mrs Rossi corrected that Lila wasn’t just going to graduate, she had been expelled for tampering with official documents.

Lila sulked and accepted her fate.

Mrs Rossi reminded her daughter that it was worse than she thought because no school would accept a pathological liar with a record for truancy except the ones prepared for such misbehaving cases.

Alix snorted. “Karma! She called Luka bad news and now she’s heading for a school for troubled kids.”

Indeed, Lila’s new school life was miserable. She couldn’t skip without someone finding her and dragging her back to a class that would laugh at her and an unsympathetic teacher. And where everyone knew of her condition, nobody believed anything she said. Her mother won’t even believe her when she reports she is being bullied. Not when the teacher didn’t think calling Lila a liar is bullying, especially when she keeps coming into class with fake doctor notes, painted blood, self-inflicted scratches, and loose bandages. Seriously, bullying is seriously monitored. Beyond the name calling, nobody actually harms Lila because she always tries to harm herself anyway.

She is like the class jester, giving them a free show. And the punishments for actual bullying are so severe that nobody dares do it.

[is-nino-actually-luka]

Top 10 Ninos in Miraculous Ladybug

Hey Everyone! 

Ever since Stormy Weather, Miraculous Ladybug fans around the world have always wondered who the best Nino is. However everyone knows Top 10 list are 10x better than that so we’re doing this instead.

In this list, we used a complex equation to calculate which Nino has the greatest combination of friendliness, superheroics, musical ability, directorial inability, loyalty, and that special something that makes them Nino.

This list had a lot of competition, so don’t feel too bad if your favorite Nino didn’t make this particular list! Plus if you guys reblog this with an essay telling me how wrong I am, the tumblr algorithm will actually promote the post!

10. Shell Shock

In 10th place, we have the superhero turned supervillain Shell Shock! Now although you wouldn’t think he has the qualities of being a Nino, considering how betraying your allies isn’t very friendly, but in his defense akumatizations are no ones fault but Hawkmoth’s. 

Plus this betrayal was the impetus for the Nino Retrieval Arc, which is fondly remembered as having some of the best fights in the show, including the very famous scene where the random citizens in a window drop their training weights and unleash their true power so they can restrain him and 2 other akumatized superheroes with little to no effort.

But the real reason he’s so low is because he’s just Carapace but Red, and turtles aren’t red. That’s silly. Shell Shock is just so silly

9. XY (Ripping off Luka)

On the surface, XY appears to be a talentless hack who clearly doesn’t care about music and is only in it for the money, and he is. But in his defense it’s also pretty clear the dude is obviously a product of his environment since his Dad is clearly the mastermind and even he doesn’t seem to think very much of XY.

Honestly the dude ought to become a better person and one of the best ways to change is to stop emulating his father and find better role models. So if he’s ripping off Kitty Section, specifically Luka, then maybe this could be the first step in the journey to becoming a better person like Luka.

Anyways, XY makes number 9 because of his potential 

8. The Right Half of Oblivio

Alright let’s address the elephant in the room about Super Penguino. It’s pretty obviously a stand in for something else, but the show couldn’t exactly say it explicitly since it is a kid’s show after all.

Super Penguino represents how Alya and Nino are mobile gamers.

Honestly considering that their best friends are console gamers, it makes sense that they may try to hide their hobbies, and as a console gamer myself, I agree. They should be ashamed.

But then again I thought it was a cool episode so it’s number 8 even though we barely see Nino until like the last minute

7. Boy in Spanish

Niño takes the number 7 spot on this list for obvious reasons

6. Silencer

Silencer may be a supervillain, but he’s more of an anti villain if we are being honest. Like honestly he was only trying to steal voices from bad people like XY (Who stole his music and insulted Marinette/his friends), Bob Roth (Who encouraged XY to do that and he is literally everything wrong with the music industry), The Mayor (Who is notoriously corrupt), and Ladybug (Remember when she killed Chat Noir during Hero’s Day on live TV?). 

Plus he was only really doing this to help his friends, which is pretty Pog.

Actually the only reason he isn’t higher is because he tries to silence people and that was literally the same thing the bad guys did in Footloose so not very Nino-like if you ask me

5. Bubbler

The Bubbler was literally only akumatized so he could throw his bro a party, and isn’t that the most Nino-like reason ever? Plus it was because of Gabriel Agreste, so can you really blame him?

Although we have to dock points off because he did send all the adults to the sky which is pretty messed up considering I am technically an adult now. Honestly the Bubbler sounded a lot more reasonable when I watched the episode in high school

4. Carapace

Taking number 4 on the list is everyone’s favorite Captain America Ripoff.

And his debut was really something! He actually 1v1ed an akuma without superpowers! He clearly took Ladybug’s advice to heart when she told him that “When you're facing a supervillain, strength doesn't make a difference. Courage and determination do.”

Plus his power is to protect his friends, and can you tell me a more Nino-like power than that? And his transformation sequence and music is a headbanger so it’s pretty obvious to tell that Nino’s under that hood.

Also he’s green. That’s the color turtles are supposed to be.

3. Viperion

Viperion barely edges out Carapace on the list since Viperion doesn’t need to protect his friends from danger. Instead, Viperion can stop the danger before it happens! It’s like Minority Report, and we all know how good of an idea it was in that movie!

It kinda sucks we didn’t get to see more of him in his debut episode, since Ladybug had to sideline Luka at first since she said “When you're dealing with a supervillain, it's better to have a partner with superpowers.” Although he was a hard carry once he did get superpowers! Literally Hawkmoth and Ladybug consider him the biggest threat when facing a group of heroes!

And like any good Nino transformation, the music is a bop, and having an instrument as a weapon really helps on the Nino ranking

2. Luka

The caring older brother who moonlights as a temporary Reptile Hero, Luka isn’t the only musically inclined friend of Adrien who had a crush on Marinette!

Honestly if you didn’t know any better you might think that Luka is actually Nino!

Luka is in almost everyway the best Nino, and he was a very close second to first. Honestly I had some trouble deciding between the two of them, but I think the number 1 pick is pretty unanimous in everyone’s minds

Before we get to the number one pick, let’s take a look at some honorable mentions

Nino Rota: An famous Italian composer whose work includes the Godfather Trilogy’s Score. However the fact he does not appear in Miraculous Ladybug disqualifies him from the top 10.

Saint Nino: Honestly idk anything about her but she was a Saint so I guess she was important. However the fact she does not appear in Miraculous Ladybug disqualifies her from the top 10.

Nino from Fire Emblem 7: She’s doing her best. However the fact she cannot read disqualifies her from the top 10.

1. El Niño

El Niño is a weather phenomena that occurs about every four years and is associated with a warm band of water in the Pacific Ocean which is accompanied by high air pressures in the western Pacific and low air pressure in the Easter Pacific.

It is also the first thing that comes up in Google when you look up Nino.

Honestly I debated putting it this high up on the list, but Nat Geo told me the El Niño in 2016 was associated with coral bleaching on the Great Barrier Reef, severe droughts in Africa, South America and parts of the Pacific and southeast Asia, and wildfires in Indonesia and Canada. I don’t live in any of those areas but El Niño scares me and for my own safety I decided to appease it by giving it the number 1 spot in this list. 

So did any of our choices surprise you? Make sure to leave a like and comment below your favorite Nino!