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sketchfanda · 9 months ago

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Kirishima’s Mystique Party 3

A Real Dish

Digital static flickered on for a moment as a camera was finished being set up and adjusted, giving any viewers a modest and oh so very generous view of furry cleavage contained by a silky green blouse. The owner of both which revealed herself to be a quite mature furry woman who was more than easy on the eyes, radiating a very suburban mom vibe what with her simple, sensual curvy all covered up in the aforementioned blouse and a set of denim jeans which really highlighted a quite healthy pair of hips and thighs. Checking to see that the camera she had set up was running just fine as she smiled and hummed sweetly while giving herself a once over before looking with those warm hazel eyes of hers. The scenery around her seemed like a typical sort of basic apartment living room but where she was could be hinted at if one were to look closely at the window in the background and what it displayed before she caught her growing audience's attention and began speaking up.

??:"Uhm, hey there, you all know me, Helen Dish here and I hope to make this livestream go well for all of you....Oh my, a few donations already and I only just started, some of you are just too much you know that?"*The furry woman couldn't help but feel a bit equal parts giddy yet flustered, young folks really went all out for a single old divorcee like herself huh? Hell she was still clothed and had only just went through setting up this account, how Zigzag managed to talk her into doing this was beyond her but then again she had quite a way with words and the gifted tongue to match.*"Really now, maybe wait until I've actually started okay? You're just too sweet for your own good..."*Shaking her head in bemusement, the hot single mom turned her head to sound of the door being knocked on as she went to go at it, the camera of course getting a fine angle and shot of her furry milf hips swaying and sashaying in those lovely denim jeans. The comments and tips chiming in of course in display of this fine view.*

Helen Dish, bless the dear woman, was on what you might call a little journey of self discovery and personal exploration, ever since the day the famous pornstar Zigzag came into her life and rocked her world. Awakening her to new sexual experiences which lead her to a curiosity on what boundaries and kinks she could try out, up to the Siberian Tiger-Skunk doing her best to consider maybe taking up a career in the adult entertainment industry, flattering as that was of course but she felt she wasn't quite cut out for it....yet anyway. But of course her ever experience friend with benefits suggested something of a halfway point, setting her up with an account on the OnlyZ2 social media account, a special adults only platform with which she could post videos and pictures of herself of a very private, intimate and oh so erotic nature. Which lead to her current situation wherein she was now trying out posting on the site, right during her solo vacation to Japan of all times to try out one of Ziggy's suggestions.

That being to do a saucy little livestream of herself playing out one of the most basic and classic porn scenarios, doing it with a cute hunky delivery guy which of course was making the single milf equal parts nervous and excited all at once. Checking her watch while making sure the camera was still running smoothly, the furry sexy mama jumped a bit as the bell rang and knocking was heard on the door which she went to go answer, the chat gong wild as they recognised the delivery guy. He may have been in a simple delivery guy uniform and his usual spikey mane of hair in its more natural state but the chat was going wild recognising none other than the Red Riot himself Kirishima!! He’d taken up a little part time summer job working for the local pizza place so you can bet he was going to be in for quite the surprise, in more ways than one.

But as it just so happened, who should chime in on the chat but the use names AlienQueen and LadyoftheWaves, aka Mina and Maya who were naturally cheering their man on to get him prime furry milf ass for a hell of a tip. The current part time pizza guy accepting his payment of course but nervous and confused as Helen gently urged and persuaded him to come on inside so she could give him a tip for his services. Soon as he placed the pizza box down, she had the door shut and locked, the hot sexy mama in spite of herself felt quite bold and daring as she pounced onto the chivalrous himbo, locking lips with him in a deep, passion fuelled kiss. To say it caught him off guard was an understatement as he found himself falling back onto the couch, hands instinctively reaching out to hold Helen steady, unintentionally grabbing and squeezing that denim clad rump of hers with a firm squeeze which made her shudder sensually.

The chat box of Helen’s amateur stream on Only Z2 was seeing a rise in views and an influx of viewing guests, many of which were chiming in with donations in anticipation of what was about follow. Helen of course had put the active camera in the back of her mind as she became quite enamoured with the slab of hunky beef she was making out with. Especially when it was clear he was getting quite into it in spite of his sudden and spontaneous it was, his hands massaging that jeans covered booty of hers while she pressed snd rubbed herself against him and his muscle mountain frame. A spark of lust and attention forming between the pair as they were suddenly finding their clothing quite confining and restricting.

Much to the delight of the most eager snd thirsty of their viewing audience, the clothes were soon flying, with Helen’s rising fanbase skyrocketing especially once her modest but oh so very well aged furry figure was on display. Particularly when she was really enjoying pressing herself up against and caressing Kirishima’s fully exposed, sculpted form as she humped and ground his hardening length and girth between her thighs and hotdogged between her fuzzy buns. Her slit running along thst shaft snd drowning it in the steady flow of her love nectar as she found any hesitation or shyness wasn’t anywhere on Kirishima’s mind as he groped and caressed her body she so generously bore on display for him. Showing that he was no stranger to handling a woman sexually which only served to further fuel her sense of boldness and arousal at finding herself actually pulling off and playing out the oldest cliche porn fantasy so successfully.

Which translates to quite the show for their viewing audience as they watched the milf hero turned part time pizza guy in a 69 postion, Helen moaning wantonly as she felt Kirishima’s shark like teeth tease her folds while he ate out. That is when her mouth wasn’t busy working away on that butch pleasing womb hammering cock of his, stroking off what she couldn’t fit into her mouth as she licked, sucked and blew on this pulsing slab. Her free hand massaging those heavy balls as a deep seated primal portion of her brain was rising in volume, calling for her to let this hunky alpha male mount and breed her. She hadn’t felt this wild since that first glorious experience she had with Zigzag, hell this was looking to take no.2 in her top 3 sexual experiences list for sure….

Helen:”Aaahn!! Harder!, don’t stop!! Keep going! “*Before Helen knew it, she soon found herself experiencing a sensation could only be akin to feeling like she reaching heaven if not the sexual equivalent of Nirvana. And why wouldn’t she when she had Kirishima atop her in a position part way between missionary, spread eagle and the mating press as he pumped and thrust his shaft like a jackhammer into her sloppy wet folds. Holding onto those powerful shoulders of his for dear life as the cameras got just the right angle of their intimate connection, Mina and maya cheering their man on in the chat to rut that sexy mama and out a baby in her. Plenty of the viewers seconding thst sentiment as some typed “Get pregnant!” Like a mantra, with tips pouring in all the while.*

Of course some rude guests or annoying trolls would get the ban hammer their way if they so much as started shit or tried to, especially one by the username Grapist but that wasn’t ruining the fun for the streaming audience. Not especially when seeing Kirishima continue to rock Helen’s world as he took her from behind doggy style, her glorious furry milf booty clapping and jiggling with every impact of their loins as he grasped and squeezed her swaying tits. Or hoisted her mature frame in the air for a full nelson or standing fuck as he pretty much out her ex husband to shame and all the while to her delight she found he was completely focused in her and her own pleasure alone, as if the idea of his own orgasms were just a natural result and not the end goal. Such a gentleman even when it came to sex, the guy was a keeper as she wondered if ziggy would just love to meet him…..

After minutes into hours, the marathon like session proved to be quite a tip for the chivalrous himbo, who kept Helen company in basking in the afterglow, idly making out with the furry milf. After a rest up and a shared shower..which less to a quickie of course, he courteously received his payment…and a card with her contact details for the next time around down the road. Which he accepted with a humble sweet smile of course,as the milf, clad in a silk bathrobe,went back on over to her laptop. Giggling snd nervously blushing at the large donations in tips her viewers so generality provided as she thanked them graciously, blowing them a kiss with a wink and a smile before shutting it off.

it was no wonder that Helen found herself gaining a number of new fans and subscribers to her channel, some sending messages asking when her next steam might be and if particularly Kirishima might be involved again, seems the chemistry she developed with him was felt by a lot of them. But she had found quite a gift from Mina and maya in the form of a private link to their OnlyHeroes account which gave her access to some very intimate photos and videos with her quite erotically talented pizza guy. Which made for some very handy fantasy fuel on those lonely nights in bed for sure to say the very least. She was certainly going to need to remember to thank Zigzag for her advice, the woman had a gift….

Oh and speaking of the Siberian tiger skunk woman, seems she had been watching in on the stream herself and had been quite intrigued by the wuite hunky fellow her fave sexy mam had gotten down and dirty with. And wouldn’t you know it, seems Mina and Maya were more than willing to talk and share very juicy details about their boyfriend. Details which she was sure to pass onto the head honcho of her studio’s Japanese branch about s potential future star to recruit. As well a a certain fellow sexy lady skunkfriend of hers course, one thing she knew about Chloe was, she just loooved himbos…

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Mayoral Liaisons

It wasn't often Calico "Callie" Briggs found herself with a lot of time but with things being all quite for a change in Megakat City (Home to the biggest population feline quirk based heteromorphs around), the deputy mayor had a chance to relax and unwind for a change. Which was how she found herself visiting Japan acting an ambassador on Mayor Manx' behalf, allowing her to establish diplomatic relations while of course getting to enjoy a little sightseeing here and there. The Hero Public Safety Committee of course had arranged to have some local heroes act as her escort chaperones and provide security and bodyguard detail. UA High School of course was among that had stepped up as their recent alumni of graduates were more than up to the task, just their freshman year alone had been more trouble than they wanted to remember....

So of course she was more than safe and sound in the capable hands of the trio provided by the code names Pinky, Mystique and Red Riot or as we know them, Mina, Maya and Kirishima. The latter two proved very affable and friendly with Mina's feistiness damn near contagious while Maya being the surfer girl she was, proved to be very laidback and chilled. Kirishima though, the guy was such an adorkable himbo, like someone took a teddy bear and put inside the body of a pro wrestler. Right from when they met, the guy'd been doing what he could to do his job while trying not to stare at her too much like he was ogling her.

It was quite sweet and flattering to see such a guy be so gentlemanly and chivalrous these days, a rare thing when most guys seemed more intent on listening to their libidos. It certainly helped that he was more than easy on the eyes, that face the right blend of cute and handsome while his outfit really showed off those gains of his...to which the feisty feline mentally slapped herself to regain focus. It wouldn't be proper thinking of her bodyguard like that, especially when it seemed he was more or less with either Mina or Maya, or was it both even? These days polygamous and monogamous relationships were aplenty and was she imagining things or did it seem like the bubblegum duo didn't mind her mentally undressing their man?

All the same, the feline stunner just couldn’t keep the guy from running through her mind, many a sleepless night from wet dreams about that himbo mounting her and taking her in ways that would make porn seem tame. Waking up after an especially intense orgasm, fur and sheets soaked with sweat from having dreamt of such of lewd fantasies like being taken in the shower or him invading her room to ambush her, among such other dreams she could recall vividly. At some point Callie knew, her deep, subconscious primal urges would scream at her to give in, to throw herself at that alpha male and have him rut her. Sooner or later, something was going to have to give.

Indeed at her private hotel room that night, Callie found herself feeling rather sleepless though it might not have helped that her assigned bodyguard heroes were right next door. Going at like minks in goddamn heat as Mina and Maya’s moans echoed deeply and passionately. All in rhythm and tune with the heavy thuds and creaks of their bed against the wall and floor as they cheered their man on to smash them like only he knew how. It was enough to drive the feline beaut crazy, yet in spite of any annoyance she should feel, her body betrayed her as she found kind hand plunging down her gushing folds as she played with herself.

It was moments like this Callie cursed the fsct she liked to sleep in the nude, as she squirmed about he’d bedsheets, staining them with her sweat soaked fur as she indulged in her audio voyeurism. Visualising what I had to be happening on the other side before finally…the noises ceased. Seems they finally stopped, none too soon yet frustrated as she felt she was close to orgasming, so the near insomniac woman decided she needed a cold shower. So up she got, nearly sleepwalking to the bathroom but forgot a simple little important detail in her semi tired state of mind.

That being the bathroom was interconnected between her room and the one shared by Kirishima, Mina and Maya as well as the fact the shower was already occupied. Steam filling the room like a small fog as she entered the shower, only to be shocked awake by Kirishima yelling that he was in there already! The sturdy himbo and the feline beaut looking at one another in shock and awe, Callie drinking in that glorious well endowed muscle mountain with his semi rigid cock stiffening with renewed vigour. While Kirishima found himself unable to look away from the deputy mayor of MegaKat city in all her furry nude glory, who knew such a brainy charismatic woman had such a stunning body.

Neither of them was sure who made the first move but all Callie and a Kirishima knew then and there was they soon found he selves pressing their bodies together in passionate embrace. The hot water raining down on them to fuel rather than dampen their spark of intimacy as they made out with passionate abandon, tongues dancing together as Callie found her back pressed up against the cool tiled walls. Her glorious,soaked blonde mane waving around as she threw her head to let out a deep throated moan to find his length and girth penetrating her, inch after inch of that slab sinking in and filling her in ways she nerves thought possible. Orgasmic tingles running along her spine and she was loving every goddamn second of it!!

But as soon as he has bottomed out, balls deep and started to limp and thrust like the piston of a jackhammer, Callie was finding herself in erotic heaven as Kirishima fucked her deep and hard. Arms and legs wrapping around his Adonis frame as she held on for dear life, now Callie wasn’t a virgin but she sure as hell wasn’t a slut but Damn if a Kirishima wasn’t putting any prior past partners to shame. Pretty kitty starting to see how and why Mina and Maya were so damn loud moments before. With a guy like this, why would any lucky lady not want to feel like they were playing out their own personal porno?

If anything what was going on in that shower was putting pornstars to shame as Kirishima rocked Callie’s world, any fantasies or wet dreams she had been having about him were exceeding and surpassing expectations. Orgasms hitting her furry bombshell figure one after another thst she couldn’t keep count, all the while she found herself being put through a variety of positions. A few of which she found were some of his favourite and proved to be becoming the same for her, especially intimate ones like the cowgirl or seated lotus but being taken from behind doggy or rather kitty style? It was just so primal to have this hunk of a man mount her snd rut her, those heavy balls of his smacking her clit as his bitchpleaser hammered her womb.

Callie wasn’t sure how hours had passed, omly how many orgasms Kirishima had which could be counted one hand with some fingers left over, yet she hadn’t felt tired out yet as if the sensation of his cumming in and on her was fuel for her gas tank. Unable and not wanting to stop herself going with the sexual flow and momentum as she found herself being carried out by this hunky caveman even as they did a standing vertical 69. Suffocating herself on his length and girth as he ate her out while taking her right back to his room to be greeted and welcomed by the leering sensual gazes of Mina and Maya. Who patted a spot on the queen sized bed, making it clear there was plenty room for one more…and the night was still young.

By the time the light of the riding sun filled the room with its glow, Callie found herself along with Mina and Maya laying stoo a Kirishima in an intimate tangle of limbs. Basking in the afterglow of their muscle mountain as Callie had found that the rest of her little ambassador tour was going to ensure a few sleepless nights in all the most fun and naughty ways. Suffice to say it was no wonder she made sure to exchange contract details with the trio, which they signified and made official with a naked selfie together. If there was one problem for Callie, it was that the fun would be over soon as she had to go home…..

But at the least the odd picture snd video helped to ease the sense of longing and besides which, it wasn’t like she couldn’t plan another trip to Japan. Or hell, even invite them over for some downtime in MegaKat city, besides which something told her Lt. Felina Feral wouldn’t turn down a chance for some fun with the Red Riot. The gal seemed like she could use a little round of fun in the sheets, it was hectic being in the Enforcers after all. And a fine woman like her was sure to look hot in the throes of passion….

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Bimbette Riot

Bimbette wasn't the first or last girl you'd see around in a society of quirks these days, especially with heteromorph types making furries a natural thing to see around on the streets. Especially skunk girls like herself but if her unofficial nickname she had was anything to go by? Compared to most other girls like herself, she was a stunning knockout, the kind of girl who could walk by and turn heads, causing guys to let their hormones mess with their brains and even the odd girl to question her own sexuality. A walking, talking definition of the term bimbo from her oh so pretty face to the sort of curves and tone that only a man or woman who knew their audience would've drawn and designed her to be so.

She knew well enough she wasn't the kind of girl who could go become a pro-hero or anything but that didn't mean she wasn't a fan of them, really how could she not be? Especially with how many good lookers there were, among the guys and girls alike, she was comfy enough with her sexuality to enjoy both the hunks and the hotties. So seeing her at conventions for autographs was as common as groupies at a music concert, just to get an autograph and the some if she was lucky. And ooh was she hoping to get more than lucky today and with good reason mind you.

After all today was a special meet and greet at the local surf shop at Jagua Del Toro, with a chance to get a signature or picture from local girl Maya Diva, codename Mystique and her lover and partner, Japan’s own Mina Ashido, aka Pinky or Alien Queen as some unofficially called her. Bimbette could barely contain her excitement at being in the presence of such a pair of hotties but what made it even better was that hunk of a boyfriend was there as their chaperone and bodyguard. Her tail sensually swaying, emitting it’s pheromonal perfume as just seeing that prime slab of cut meat looking like an adonis in that outfit, just recalling the fantasies she had so often about him. She could feel her thighs getting all good and sticky as she contained herself from trying to pounce snd make out with the guy, idly wondering he’d be like in reality compared to her wet dreams….

But of course the cotton candy colour furred babe shook her head to clear out those spicy thoughts as she found herself getting closer to the front of the line, wanting to keep herself composed in front of her idols. Not that her excitement wasn’t showing in spite of her containing, what with her fluffy tail wafting snd giving off that oh so fine pheromonal scent and the beaming smile she wore as she got the signatures she so eagerly desired. Puzzled as she moved along to keep the line going to find that in addition to their John Hancocks, Mina and Maya had left what appeared to be their emails and cellphone numbers…and stuck a post it on the back, written with the hotel and room number they were staying at..and a time to show up, all sealed with a kiss. The skunk babe felt her pulse race, fur standing in end as her nerves got all tingly, could this mean what she think this meant?

Well the cotton Candy/bubblegum skunk wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth and besides which, that Red Riot hunk of love looked to be better than that has been Johnny Pew. So later as dusk was setting in, the sun painting the Jagua skies vibrant hues of orange, red snd violet, Bimbette left her hotel room that night deciding to accept the stealth invite. Soon as she found their room, she knocked on the door, which opened to show the sensually grinning faces of Mina and Maya who welcomed her on inside. Stealthily copping themselves a feel of her bombshell body of course which made her shudder as she found them guiding her to the bedroom to find a lovely sight before her.

There sat Kirishima on the bed, his erect, rigid shaft laid bare which made the skunk babe’s thighs become soaked and sticky as she beheld his muscle mountain body laid bare in all its naked glory. The sturdy himbo unaware of her presence as he currently had on a blindfold and a set of headphones yet her pheromonal scent was certainly distinct as it made his cock twitch and spasm. Her tail swaying with sensual a glee as she looked to Mina and Maya with approving glances, emboldening the hottie skunk girl as she made her way over and stripped down to her her own furry birthday suit. Soon kneeling before this prime specimen of a man, grasping his shaft in awe as she took in his potent scent and wasted no time in expressing her lusty admiration and desire.

Which of she demonstrated with a powerful, lusty blowjob as she sucked and blew on that meathammer, licking it as she jerked odd what she couldn’t fit into her mouth. So tempted to make herself suffocate with deepthroating it which this hunk of burning red love seemed to oblige he as bucked and pumped his hips, feeling those balls smack her chin as her throat became a preview for what awaited her pussy. Which dribbled snd gushed, making a growing puddle on the floor as her tail sway and slithered, letting off more of her pheromones that made Kirishima’s arousal skyrocket as he made to stroke and caressed Bimbette’s head affectionately and sensually. He had a feeling this wasn’t either of his alpha girl duo but whoever they sent his way, they were really hitting his buttons just right.

More so when the bimbo skunk girl upped the ante and sandwiched his shaft between her big furry titties, moaning sensually as she licked and sucked the tip while his bitchpleaser thrust between her cotton Candy cloud jugs. Mina and Maya watching on with voyeuristic delight as they made out with intimate sensual familiarity and passion, tongues dancing in sloppy tonsil hockey as they scissored one another vigorously. Especially in anticipation for when their stud boyfriend would rock the cotton Candy pink skunk’s world like only he could. No audio and visual deprivation was going to deter his natural love making skills, especially when his instincts told him there was a bitch in heat in need of his raw desire.

Desire that was soon drowning Bimbette’s airhead of a brain in raw, mind numbing, sensual bliss and ecstasy as she found herself,on her back. Kirishima mounted atop her as he hammered and pounded, balls deep like a sexual jackhammer as he had started with a classic missionary before shifting to spread eagle, now having the skunk babe in a mating press. Her lovely legs pushed back until her ankles were on either side of her head, tongue dancing with his in a sloppy kiss as she filled the room with her wanton moans and cries. Her tits pressed snd rubbing up against that firm chest of his as she welcomed being used like a glorified fucktoy for this himbo love machine.

A desire Kirishima was looking to oblige as he fucked her with unrelenting force and desire, she was no slut whore but any number of guys she had been with before were being put rightfully to shame. From being held in his embrace as she rode his cock in forward and reverse cowgirl, to being taken from behind in doggy style until her arms and kegs couldn’t hold up anymore. Content to lay flat on her front as he fucked her prone bone but ooh this wasn’t just simple animalistic fucking oh no, the way this stud held and caressed her, every little kiss to her sweet spots and the possessive squeezes to he ass and tits. As if they were animals in mating season as he was making hot fuck damn love to her, claiming his needy bitch in heat as was the natural law of primal eroticism.

And Bimbette was loving each and every fuck damn second of it, being held in the embrace of his big, strong arms as he fucked her wit his powerful cock. Driven to ruin her for any other men and rutted with such intent that it’d be a miracle she didn’t up having a baby from him, which only turned her on more. Her pheromones filling the hotel room like a fog blanket as she soon found Mina and Maya joining them to make it a four way with the pink and blue duo welcoming their new friend into the fold of their ever growing harem in progress. The skunk babe welcoming their kisses and caresses as their alpha male continued to keep a it as he damn well would with such eager partners to satisfy and fulfill.

Of course with the output of Bimbette’s pheromones, it was no wonder the hazy fog was beginning to pour and seep through into the vents of the hotel. Making their way through and causing quite a few guests and staff alike to break out into spontaneous acts of copulation and it just so happens a few of the kinky trio’s fellow heroes and co workers were among the former. Which lewd to a long, wild night of boundless passion and intimate ecstasy of which a few would find themselves waking up to a different sort of hang over, sticky and sore all over. While as for Bimbette you might ask?

Well she woke up the next day with some pep in her step and full energetic tank of gas, her phone now baring the contact details of her new beau and girlfriends. All the whole she made plans to have herself a place in Japan to pop by every now and then if the trio hadn’t yet settled on making Jagua their more regular home away from home. But in the meantime, the odd exchange of videos and pictures would make for a great bit of fantasy fuel to scratch the smaller itches. Once a girl has had the Kirishima experience, as they say You can sleep with a blonde or brunette but you’ll never get any sleep with a redhead…..

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rallamajoop · 2 years ago

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Some statistics on Lucy and the odds of surviving (non-vampiric) blood transfusions

Because it’s Dracula-season again, and because I am absolutely that kind of nerd, I spent some time calculating the actual odds of Lucy surviving all those blood transfusions from unrelated donors. To summarise what I found up front: Lucy's odds aren't great, but they're still a lot higher than you might think.

Now, I’m not the first person ever to tackle this question, and having no medical qualifications whatsoever, I'm not the best person either. But figuring out the answer to my own satisfaction was a great excuse to learn a whole lot of fascinating stuff that took some digging to figure out, so (with the caveat that I am entirely open to corrections from real professionals) naturally now I want to share it.

The complete world history of attempted blood transfusions is way beyond scope for us here (you can find plenty of sources on it online if you’re curious). But as Stoker’s text aptly demonstrates, the science of blood transfusion had come a long way by the Victorian era – just not the means for doctors to reliably predict which transfusions would be successful, and which would simply kill the patient. The principle behind the basic A, B and O blood types wouldn’t be discovered until 1900 – 4 years after Dracula was published, and wouldn't become part of general medical practice for much longer – and the additional Rh-factors wouldn’t be discovered until 1939. In Stoker's day, doctors were still so far behind the ball some of them thought transfusing milk into people suffering blood loss was a good idea (yes, really). And though I'm focusing on blood groups here, it goes without saying there are plenty of other risks that come from letting any Victorian-era doctor open your veins.

That said, what the average person knows about how blood types work may not be all that much advanced today from what doctors knew in the 1890s. It’s easy to come out of Dracula thinking, “Wow, they gave Lucy blood from four different people? The odds all their blood types would matched hers must be minuscule!” (and a quick search of the web for this topic will find people asking exactly that). But there are several factors which make Lucy’s chances a whole lot better than they might look on paper.

(Image source)

For one thing, even though there are many different blood groups to worry about, some are much more common than others. If just one blood group accounts for half the population (which is actually true of some countries), then Lucy’s odds of hitting four donors with the same group just by chance would go way up.

But far more important is the fact that blood groups don’t have to be a 'match' to be compatible. If Lucy is one of the 2% of the British population with the blood group AB+, she’d be a universal recipient – theoretically capable of receiving blood from anyone without adverse reactions. Similarly, if any of her donors were O-, she’s in luck again, because that makes them a universal donor. If Lucy herself is O-, however, she’s in trouble: universal donors can donate to any other group, but they can only receive from other O-negs.

Confused? Time to get a bit more technical.

When receiving blood, your greatest enemy is your own immune system. Vital as all those immune cells are, they are not smart, and have no way of knowing that all this foreign blood suddenly flooding your system is friendly. If the don’t recognise those blood cells, they’ll attack them, bonding to their surface and causing cells to clump together and form clots which can clog up your arteries and kill you. Transfusing the wrong blood type can and likely will kill you.

The immune system identifies blood cells as intruders via specific antigens found on the cell’s surface. The most important antigens in blood matching systems are the A and B antigens, and secondarily the Rhesus antigens (marked + or -). Some people have all of these antigens (AB+), some have none (O- with the ‘O’ more literally indicating a ‘0’ or a null) and many have some but not all (A+, B-, O+, etc). Meanwhile, the immune system of the recipient body, much like your racist uncle, will attack most anything with distinguishing features it hasn't seen before (like I said, it’s not smart). A blood cell which is missing a familiar antigen will slip through, but a blood cell sporting an unfamiliar antigen will trigger a reaction. So the immune system of someone with B-type blood will have issues with any A-type blood you try and transfuse in, but will be just fine with B or O, since O lacks any antigens to mark it as an intruder.

Once you know what you’re looking for, A, B, AB and O type blood can be identified fairly easily, just by mixing blood or antibodies and watching the reaction. I’ve seen some suggestions that this may have been understood even to some of the better-informed doctors in Victorian times: when unsure if a transfusion would be safe, they could try transfusing just a small amount of blood, watch for a bad reaction, and continue only if things look good. If you absolutely have to do a blood transfusion without any testing though, an immediate family member is your best bet: blood types can still differ among a family, but there’s a strong genetic component. (Sadly, this wouldn’t have been an option for Lucy, as her mother was already unwell, and would not have been considered a good transfusion candidate.)

Things get more complicated when you add in the Rhesus factor, which wasn’t discovered until some decades later, and for good reason: bad reactions to Rh+ blood develop in Rh- people only after that first transfusion. While A and B types might be like your racist uncle, the Rh factor is more like putting a dog on your basketball team: you’ll get away with it once, because you’ve brought in something so unexpected no-one’s made a rule about it yet (let alone bothered to come up with anti-dog basketball tactics). Unlike the standard A and B antigens, the immune system has to have 1) seen Rh+ blood, and 2) spent some time thinking about a good plan of attack before it’s ready to do anything about it – by which point the donor blood should be out of your system anyway. It's only the next transfusion after that where you can hit problems.

In practice, the Rh factor is of most concern to Rh- mothers carrying Rh+ babies. The first baby should be fine, but the delivery process can result in some mixing of the mother and baby's blood ‒ and that can leave her immune system primed to take offense at any future passengers of the Rh+ persuasion (why this apparently doesn’t also apply to A and B type babies in A or B negative mothers I’m not sure, but obviously the Rh-immune response works differently). With all today’s modern medical technology, this is something doctors can identify in expectant parents and manage with medication, but obviously they're still going to want to avoid transfusing Rh+ blood into an Rh- patient (especially if they’ve already got Rh+ kids).

Regardless, for our purposes, it’s only from the second transfusion that the Rh factor could trip you up. So could that be an issue for Lucy, if she’s getting so many transfusions? It's harder to find good info on exactly how long the Rh immune reaction takes to develop after the first transfusion, but most of what I could find suggests we’re looking at a period of weeks to months at least. So that’s good news for Lucy: we can ignore Rh factors when we’re calculating her odds of survival.

As a minor aside here, the standard eight blood types you can get by combining A, B and the Rhesus factor aren’t technically the only blood types out there. These three antigens matter most because people both with and without them are common in the broader human population, but a small minority of people are missing other antigens that the rest of us get as standard. European blood banks apparently also classify blood by a Kell factor, and people with anaemia and other conditions likely to require regular transfusions may be checked for several other potential Rh-like issues. A handful of people worldwide have blood classified as neither Rh+ or Rh-, but Rh-null – missing antigens common to 99.9% of the human population, and being in that class is a very mixed blessing. Blood donations from someone Rh-null can be used in recipients with rare blood types that would make them incompatible with almost any other donor. But if someone Rh-null ever needs a blood donation themselves, they’re in big trouble.

So, enough theory. What’s all this mean for Lucy’s odds of making it through 4 blood transfusions from unrelated donors?

Unsurprisingly, ratios of different blood groups vary a lot country to country and population to population, so I looked up ratios in modern Britain (Van Helsing is Dutch, of course, but blood groups in the Netherlands are similar enough to those in the UK that we’ll ignore that, just for simplicity). It’s possible these ratios have drifted since Victorian times, but figuring out how is so far beyond scope here we’re not going to worry about it. As discussed above, we’ll also ignore Rh factors – Lucy’s almost certainly never had a blood transfusion or a baby before, and everything happens far too fast for an Rh-immune response to kick in.

Alright. It’s statistics time!

We don't know Lucy's blood group, so any are possible. For each potential Lucy-blood-group, we can generate a list of blood groups which will be compatible donors (we'll call that list C(x)), and from that, we can calculate the probability that she'll be compatible with any randomly-selected donor. For Lucy to survive, we need her to survive 4 successive blood transfusions, so we’re raising that survival probability to the power of 4. Then to calculate her overall probability of survival, we multiply the survival rate by the odds she’s in that blood group, and add them together (no need to divide by the total population, that’s an easy 100%). So if we let n = number of transfusions and P(x) = probability a person is in blood group x, we get the following lovely equation:

(Yes, I know, I'm sorry ‒ someone out there is going to want to check my working, and I like to be transparent.)

And with that, (assuming I’m not just talking out of my arse with all those calculations), that suggests Lucy’s overall chances of surviving 4 different blood transfusions is about: (drum roll)... 27%. So, roughly 1 in 4.

The really savvy reader might notice that Lucy does not, technically, survive all four transfusions – she dies shortly after the fourth, so it’s conceivable that last transfusion was a mismatch. If we take the requirements down to where Lucy only needs to survive 3 transfusions, her odds go up to 34%, or closer to 1 in 3. Still not great, but given the sorts of crazy one-in-a-million coincidences all fiction is built on, that’s actually pretty reasonable. Even if you do factor in Rh compatibilities, we're still looking at around 21% survival rate after 4 transfusions, which are pretty decent odds in the world of Victorian medicine.

Do those odds sound a little high to you? Here’s something to keep in mind. On paper, Lucy’s odds of surviving even a single random-donor transfusion are only 65%. But given she survived that first transfusion, the odds go up that she’s in one of those near-universal blood groups, and they keep going up. Sure, every new transfusion has a new chance to kill you, but statistically speaking, every transfusion you survive marks you as someone who’s a little more likely to survive the next. So someone who's already survived 2 transfusions has a 76% chance of surviving a 3rd ‒ and if they do survive that 3rd, an 80% chance of surviving a 4th.

As another aside though, even after surviving four successive transfusions, the odds Lucy’s in that lucky AB universal-recipient category are still only about 10% (compared to 3% of the base population). Statistically, it’s still far more likely she’s in the A-group ‒ the second largest group in the UK, and who can receive blood from the other largest group (O), letting them receive blood from a whooping 86% of the population without issue. Aren’t statistics wonderful?

Oh, all right – I’ll stop with the maths. We’ve made our point here.

Now, we could still point out that, for a supposedly-experienced physician, Stoker's Van Helsing seems pretty blase about the possibility his blood transfusions could backfire horribly ‒ but then, Lucy's already on death's door each time he resorts to asking for volunteers. He's doing the only thing that might save her life (and it does, until it doesn't).

To conclude, no-one is going to tell you Dracula makes sense. This is a book which offers no explanation for why Dracula should just happen land in England on the same town where his solicitor’s fiancée just is taking a holiday, let alone the rest of it. And Stoker had no way of knowing Lucy’s actual odds of surviving such a very Victorian procedure. But that whole blood transfusion sequence is far from being the least probable thing in the book.

#Dracula #Lucy Westenra #meta #Dracula Daily #blood types #blood tranfusions

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petermorwood · 2 years ago

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Hello! I was watching this Adam Savage video on youtube and it's about antique swords at the MET, so naturally I thought of you. It's a rather recent one titled "Adam Savage Meets Real Ancient Swords!" on Adam Savage's Tested channel. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it, because it was so interesting. Sadly, I can't add a link, but it should be easy to find with the title. Hope you're having a great day!

I've actually already seen this, but many thanks for thinking of me; that\s how I get to see / hear / read stuff I'd otherwise miss!

it's a great video, and I immediately showed it to @dduane because Adam reacted in the same way I would have done - even to the sword he liked best, which of course indicates his excellent taste in weapons...

:-D

Here's the link:

youtube

Conservator Sean Belair mentions (at 6:17) "...another identical one floating around..." This photo shows several; Darksword Armoury, Albion Swords and Ronin Katana repros, and two museum originals.

The one Sean refers to, given his use of "identical", is probably the "Harriet Dean" sword which reappeared a few years ago.

These "Dean" swords were a pair acquired by Dr Bashford Dean, the Met's first curator of arms and armour, one of which he donated to the museum. The second was held by his sister Harriet and, on her death, was auctioned off and vanished (probably into a private collection) for three-quarters of a century before turning up at Christies in 2015.

Its value was estimated at £70-100,000 and it went for £386,500 (!) - but where it went, to a museum collection or back into private hands, I have no idea...

#arms and armour #swords #metropolitan museum new york #adam savage #reproduction swords #albion swords

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walker-odair · 30 days ago

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John Sugden is a stolen identity: a (very long and dumb) theory

(Let’s note that this is all nonsense and my imagination running wild and 90% of this will be entirely false but oh well it was fun)

John Sugden does exist but isn’t the John we know. Our John is Aidan Moore and he served with the real John in the army.

People often say that you grow close to your troop (or whatever it’s called) so real John and our ‘John’ were close and that’s how he knows the details of real John’s life (like his mum, step dad, Jack etc). Maybe they weren’t just close, however. Not on our ‘John’s end. Perhaps it was more of an infatuation.

Anyway, details.

At the funeral it seems as if ‘John’ doesn’t want to see anyone. He’s sat outside away from the guests because he doesn’t ’want their sympathy’ and he also doesn’t go to the burial so he clearly keeps his distance, almost as if he doesn’t want anyone to recognise that he’s not actually John Sugden. He says he ‘had’ a dad so the past tense suggests his stepdad is dead, basically the main person who would recognise that he wasn’t the real John is not around. As for other people, if you’ve not seen someone for a while or not seen them since they were a child you may not recognise them so doing the basics like perhaps dyeing your hair could be an easy disguise. Plus a beard can be effective, too.

‘John’ is also hesitant to talk to or get to know Vic when they meet at the funeral, maybe because she’s eager to get to know him when he’s not actually the person she wants to get to know and she wasn’t a part of the plan, he had no information about her from real John so did not know what to do in that moment.

I’m not sure exactly why he’d pretend to be John Sugden specifically. Maybe it’s a thing like the guy who pretended to be Gerry’s uncle and there’s some sort of gain from it. People donate money at funerals for charities sometimes, maybe ‘John’ organises a collection but keeps the money for himself. Maybe he just gets a weird thrill out of impersonating people. Maybe he had an obsession with the real John and wanted to be him (like how some people theorise he wants to be Robert).

Honestly, the whole Aaron thing could just be a coincidence that ended up benefiting our ‘John’. He never gave Aaron a name so when they hooked up he might not have even been pretending to be John Sugden and at that point was actually Aidan Moore (just without giving his name). It’s only when he got to Emmerdale and was recognised by Vic that the John Sugden alias came back and he was properly introduced to Aaron as Robert’s half brother.

Maybe our ‘John’ has a thing where he loves and craves attention and that’s why he hates it when Robert is brought up because he’s taking focus away from himself. Then he gets possessive over Aaron, Vic and Harry with his ‘I have you and he’s in prison’ attitude because he wants to maintain his position of being the only sibling/lover in their lives, again keeping that focus and attention he’s borderline obsessed with. Being with Aaron isn’t about being in love with him, it’s feeding that craving he has to be important and have attention, and with ‘everything he has done’ for Aaron it’s like it’s on tap, whenever he wants that validation he’s got it. He’s basically feeding off Aaron’s insecurities to give himself more of that power he feels he is getting from him.

The craving for attention is also where the hero syndrome comes into it, ‘saving people’ is a way of people seeing him and praising him and he soon realises he could also use it as a way to get what he wants, therefore drugging Chas to get her approval.

The real John Sugden could be dead, died in the army or even killed by ‘John’. Maybe real John was seriously injured (whether that was in the army or not), maybe even in a coma, so isn’t conscious to even know that his mother has died and that his identity has been stolen. Maybe he simply just has no contact with his mother anymore and has disconnected himself from his life, moved away somewhere. The main thing is, the real John isn’t in the picture.

#this probably makes no sense #I got carried away #it’s HIGHLY unlikely to happen but my imagination got the better of me #enjoy?#emmerdale thoughts

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years ago

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Damaging secrecy [Ben Barnes x Reader] - Challenge

Title: Damaging secrecy Pairing: Ben Barnes x Female!Reader Word count: 3.6k Published: 23 August 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: [x] Your relationship with Ben was everything you could wish for and more. Even the tiniest of attention you received from him was filled with love. But his fear of losing you often clouded his judgement and he didn’t even realise the damage his overprotective nature caused in your relationship, his career creating a gap between the two of you. Challenge: [x] [x] This is my entry to @sunrisefairy's writing challenge, using the below prompts;

#1. “What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.” #2. “We’re in public.” , “I don’t care.”

Ben Barnes and Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Real People Masterlist

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Ben and you were from two different worlds. He was a famous actor, adored by many, meanwhile you were just an average girl living an average life, working on making your dreams come true. When you met Ben in a simple coffee shop, people completely ignored his presence, as though they didn't even know who he was. Of course, it was a possibility as he had stated that he was usually not recognised when out and about. So, you followed in their steps, not wanting to bother him.

As you woke up that day, you thought it was to be just like every other day. Grab a cup of coffee, work for half a day and get home, throwing yourself on your fluffy duvet. But as it turned out, that day changed your whole life, and it was all thanks to that sweet barista girl who didn't place the lid on your takeaway cup properly. If she had paid attention, you wouldn't have spilled your drink on Ben and you wouldn't have experienced not only how sweet of a person he was, but how easy it was to admire him as an actor, and fall hopelessly in love with him as a regular person.

After 2 years, you couldn't have asked for a better man. There wasn't anyone better for you after all. He treated you like a queen, as though you deserved the whole wide world, and he was ready to give it to you. He had been sweet and kind, funny and playful, passionate, and full of love. There wasn't a single thing you didn't like about him.

At least, that's what you have been telling yourself for the past couple of months. You loved him dearly, you couldn't imagine life without him. Whatever you planned, he was in it, whether it be in the near future or part of a long-term plan. But it often occurred to you that he might not imagine his future with you. He never voiced it of course, but there was one thing that always left an invisible barrier between the two of you. A gap that you couldn't cross with a bridge, a wall that you couldn't climb with a ladder.

That significant barrier you found between the two of you was part of his life, his passion, his love, and you couldn't even think of standing in his way, making him choose between you and his career. Of course, you knew he was doing it for you, he was scared to lose you, scared to throw you to the wolves, but his worry, his overprotective behaviour was the wall you found yourself unable to break. So, you just pushed your worries aside, however painful, and heart-breaking it was to watch the love of your life creating an even bigger gap between the two of you, slowly swallowing your relationship, breaking every simple foundation your shared life was built on. You just sealed your lips and let him destroy your relationship, knowing it was inevitable for the two of you to part at some point, your pleading words ignored for what seemed to be forever.

With silent steps you headed to the bedroom where Ben was adjusting his tuxedo, running his hands through the material, removing every trace of the soft creasing that ran across the clothing. His usually messy locks now sat across his head in a neat fashion, shining like soft silk under the dim light of the bedroom. His top buttons were left undone as he fixed the hem of his shirt, tucking it into his trousers. You leaned against the doorframe as you watched him getting ready, wondering about how long it will take for the two of you to finally walk past each other without realising the damage your relationship had to endure. You knew it was to come, you had anticipated it months ago, but each word that left your lips seemed to have found deaf ears. Ben loved you, it wasn't a question. He was stupidly in love with you and would have given you anything. But he couldn't see the destruction his protectiveness caused between you.

Pushing yourself off the doorframe, you walked up to him with a tender smile and stood between the mirror and him, pulling the necktie you have been holding onto around his neck. "I've been looking for this," he huffed with a playful grin. "You little thief," he chuckled as he leaned down to you and cupped your face, peppering your lips with sweet, but tiny featherlight kisses

"Stop it," you giggled as you tried to push him away, however he had different ideas. He grabbed your hands and wrapped them around his neck whilst his arms sneaked around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as he deepened the kiss.

"Do you still want me to stop?" His breath tickled your mouth before he captured your lips again, not leaving you time to even consider a possible reply. Ben tightened his arms around you and gently turned you around to lower you on the soft mattress of your shared bed, not even leaving an inch between the two of you as he laid down on you, keeping most of his weight on his arm beside you. The proximity made you feel like you were melting into his body, unable to comprehend where his body ended and where yours began.

However, you had to stop him regardless of how difficult it was. Ben was to attend a gala, and he had to leave sooner than later. "Ben," you whispered against his lips, but he seemed to enjoy occupying yours more than to leave them any time soon. "Ben," you breathed his name weakly, but you didn't have the power to push him away as his lips wandered down your jaw and settled in the crook of your neck. "You need to go," you tried once again, but he didn't seem to share your need to part. "You will be late," your attempt to reason with him seemed fruitless, he continued devouring you without a care for anything beside you. Placing your hands on his shoulders, you pushed him farther away from you until your eyes finally met.

"Why are you trying to make me leave you?" He asked with a mischievous grin across his face. "If I'm not mistaken and I'm not, you were enjoying yourself just as much as I was. Why did we have to stop then?" His tone was like a childish whine, making you giggle.

"Because you have a gala to attend to, mister and you will be late," you chuckled as you tried to push him off you, but he didn't budge.

"I don't want to leave you," he scoffed with a grimace as he buried his face in your neck.

"Well," you started, knowing what you were about to say could possibly start an argument, "if you took me with you, you wouldn't have to leave me," you finished, expecting a frustrated reaction from him and within seconds he removed his face from the curve of your neck and met your gaze with an irritated scoff.

"We have talked about it," he said as he pushed himself off you and rolled to your side, his eyes studying the plain white ceiling.

"We have and we always seem to end up arguing about it. Exactly because we don't agree, don't you think? One of us will have to give in at some point," you smiled softly, not wanting to make a scene.

"Believe me, I would be the happiest person if you could come with me, if I could finally scream to the world how much I love you. But I'm scared. I'm afraid if we go public, it will ruin us, it will chase you away," a heavy, lung expanding sigh left his lips as he ran his fingers through his neatly done hair. "You know I like to keep things private. I don't want all the reporters and paparazzis digging into our lives. And that's what would happen. They would try to take pictures wherever we went, they would dig up all the information about you that they could find. They would make our lives miserable, and I can't risk losing you. I love you too much to lose you," his tone was weak and desperate. Everything about him screamed how much he loved you and you felt guilty for arguing with him, but it hurt you to keep hiding.

"Ben," you whispered his name as you sat up and so did he, his eyes attached to every tiny movement of yours. "You know I love you, right?" You asked and he nodded reassuringly. "I would never want to lose you. I would never want to hurt you, hurt us. But you must understand that we can't keep hiding our relationship forever," you let out a heavy sigh as you turned away from his gaze and nervously fidgeted with your fingers in your lap. "You keep saying that you don't want to lose me. Well, nor do I want to lose you. But you must see the pressure it puts on us, the strain it has on our relationship. We will lose each other if we keep going on like this," you shook your head more to yourself, but Ben reached for your face and cupped your cheeks, gently turning you towards him to meet your eyes.

"What are you saying?" He asked in a pained tone, his voice slightly shaking.

"What am I in your life, Ben?" You asked as you turned away from him, his hands falling to his side, a stunned gasp leaving his lungs. "Because as of lately I'm struggling to understand what we are. We love each other. I can't possibly doubt that. I see the way you look at me, the way you touch me and kiss me, the way you speak to me. I've never felt more loved in my life. But we can't go on dates, we can't go on holidays, I can't hold your hand or kiss your lips when we are out. I can't even go near you when we are in public. We are confined to your house like it's a comfortable prison," a bitter chuckle left your lungs. "I feel as though I've been nothing to you outside of this prison and I can't keep living my life within a 200 square meter confinement."

"I— I didn't," Ben tried to interrupt you, but you had to let your thoughts out before they suffocated you, so you cut him off.

"You are trying to protect me from your world, and I couldn't be more grateful for how considerate you are, but can't you see that it creates a gap between us? I understood that you wanted to wait with the announcement of our relationship. I understood that you were afraid of our relationship being destroyed by all the attention. But we can't keep doing this forever," You sighed as you finally turned towards Ben, his eyes wide open, stunned by your words, his lips parted in surprise, a pained expression spread across his face. But you couldn't stop. You always let him win, let him ignore how his protectiveness affected your relationship. It was time to make him understand the damage he was making. "I agreed with you at the beginning because I knew we needed to see if we were compatible, if we were going to last to make sure that it wasn't just a fling. However, after two years I expected our relationship to be stable, to be ready for a future that we can plan together."

"But it is," he said in a desperate tone, swallowing nervously as he began processing the weight of your words.

"But is it?" You sighed heavily as tears welled in your eyes, attempting to slide down your cheeks, but you forced them back, not wanting to seem weak. "I love you, Ben. More than I've ever loved anyone. But I can't wait for you forever to feel confident enough to finally make an announcement. We can't hide forever, you must understand. Frankly, if you don't feel ready to do so after two years, then I don't see a reason to be together," you couldn't keep your tears at bay any longer, they escaped without your consent, but you couldn't care. It hurt you to think about having a life without Ben in it. "It breaks my heart to say this, but if you are not confident enough in the strength of our relationship, if you are not sure about the future we could possibly have, if you don't have complete trust in me then I don't think it's good for us to be together. All the secrecy— it just damages our relationship," you said as your voice shook and you sniffled, trying to get rid of the tears soaking your cheeks.

"How did we end up here?" Ben spoke up with an incredulous look as he shot up from the bed, a deep frown spread across his brows. "I just told you that I didn't want to lose you and within minutes we are talking about a potential break up?" He asked as he turned to you with a gobsmacked expression, eyes filled with pain. He averted his gaze from you as he walked up and down the room as though he was thinking about something. He was so lost in his thoughts he couldn't even hear you calling him.

"Ben? Can you please talk to me?" You pleaded with him, but he didn't seem to be able to hear you. Or just didn't want to. You couldn't possibly tell what was going on in his head.

"Dress up," he stated as he headed towards the bathroom to redo his hair once again.

"Excuse me?" You asked with a surprised expression, eyes wide as you followed him into the bathroom, needing an explanation.

"You are coming with me!" He stated in a stern tone.

"What?" You scoffed with a single chuckle, before you realised the serious expression he wore. "Are you for real?" You asked with a questioningly raised brow.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" He retorted and stepped closer to you, standing right in front of you, leaving only a tiny gap between your bodies. "I will not lose you. If you want to leave me, if you fall out of love with me, if you decide you don't want to be with me, however heart-breaking it is, I can accept that. But I will not lose you for something so trivial. We will make that announcement today," he stated firmly as he leaned down to you and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, awakening thousands of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. You needed a good second or two to finally find your voice.

"Ben, as much as I would love that, don't you think it's a bit rushed? You shouldn't make such hasty decisions," you tried to reason with him, but he just shook his head.

"Do you love me?" He asked and although you frowned with a confused expression, you nodded. "And I love you, so what's the matter? You said I would have to be confident enough in the strength of our relationship, that I would have to be sure about the future with you, that I should have complete trust in you. Well, I do. I have confidence in us, in our relationship, in our feelings, in our future and especially in you. So, I'd have to argue with you. It's not rushed. Am I still afraid it could destroy us? Yes. But it isn't based on our relationship because I have never believed in anything as strongly as I believe in us. My fear comes from losing you. And I surely won't let it happen over this. So, we are going," by the time he finished his monologue, a sweet smile spread across his face that you couldn't stop yourself from mirroring.

"I– erm, okay, let's go," you chuckled as you stuttered through the words and quickly headed to dress up and do your hair and make-up. In other circumstances you would have been angry for not having enough time to prepare yourself, but your excitement overpowered your frustration and so you readied yourself with a wide grin across your face, stealing glances at Ben every once in a while to make sure you weren't dreaming.

Within half an hour you were ready to leave the house and headed down to the car Ben rented, with the driver seated at the front. Ben's large hand engulfed yours as he interlocked your fingers and kept it in his grasp for the whole journey. His warm touch started off the tiny butterflies in the pit of your stomach over and over again, making you feel both giddy and nervous about what was to come. But Ben's strong hold around your hand provided you with a certain comfort, a silent reassurance.

As you arrived at the event and Ben stepped out of the car, you saw the rapid flashes of cameras and a sudden fear took over your excitement. You felt as though you didn't think things through, and froze both physically and mentally as you sat at the backseat still holding onto Ben's hand. He gave you a questioning look, before he crouched down in front of you, right beside the opened door of the vehicle.

"It's alright," he smiled up at you. "We can do this together," he squeezed your hand, reassuring you that he was right beside you and would not let go of you. You nodded in a reply, but didn't make a move. It took you a few seconds, maybe even minutes to gather all your courage and chase away your fear but you were still anxious and your attempted breathing techniques seemed useless in your situation. Your chest tightened and your mouth felt like it was filled with sand, but as you lifted your head to look at Ben, he wore a tender smile, one that made all your worries banish. Finally you heaved a heavy sigh and stepped out of the car, closing the door behind you. Within seconds cameras flashed in your direction and thousands of questions were directed at Ben as he held onto your hand. You lost complete focus of what was happening, you were simply following Ben's movements and listened to his soothing voice as he talked to the reporters, each bombarding him with questions you couldn't even comprehend. "Are you alright?" He asked as he placed his unoccupied hand on your cheek, gently stroking your skin.

"Yeah," you whispered in a hushed tone, unsure if he could even hear you with all the noise.

"Let's go in," he smiled softly and gently nudged you towards the entrance. Reporters were still shouting his name as you stepped inside the building, but he just offered them an apologetic look and led you forward, not wanting to overwhelm you. By the time you walked past the reception, he pulled you towards a secluded corridor that possibly led to a kitchen, the scent of delicious meals filling your nostrils.

"What are we doing here?" You asked under the dim light, your eyes scanning the place, watching as guests walked inside the venue at the end of the corridor where you came from.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," he said as he cupped your face, gently stroking your cheeks with his thumbs. "It must have been overwhelming," he added and though you wanted to deny it at first, you decided to be honest and nodded in a reply. "You don't have to act strong. If you are tired, if you feel like it's too much, just tell me. It took me a while to get used to it and it doesn't happen from one moment to another," he reassured you, earning another nod from you.

"I'm okay, Ben. I promise," you offered him a sweet smile as you lifted your hand and caressed his cheek. "I'm not going to lie, it was scary, but I'm alright now."

"Good," he said and stepped closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down to press his forehead against yours. "I have a couple of ideas on how to ease your worries though," he added with a mischievous smile and a playful twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh really. What would they be?" You raised a questioning brow as a wide grin appeared across your face, mirroring his excitement.

"Well, for starters, this–," he planted a tender kiss on your forehead, making you giggle, "and this–," before he went and placed a kiss on your cheek, "also this–," he left another kiss on your nose "but the most important one is this–," he pressed his lips against yours, your arms involuntarily sneaking around his neck as you returned the gesture, his warm embrace, the feel of his lips making you forget about your situation. But it was only momentary. Your mind quickly rid itself off Ben's addictive presence and started off an alarm in your head.

"Ben," you breathed his name against his lips, trying to contain your own desires. "We're in public," you tried to reason with him, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I don't care," he hushed you and pressed his lips against yours, basking in the intimate moment you finally shared in a public place. Sure, it was fairly hidden and no one passed by the two of you, but at last you had the opportunity to hold his hand regardless of the prying eyes. You were able to kiss his lips whenever the craving felt too unbearable. You could go on holidays and arrange dinner dates and the like. Finally, you could spend as much time with Ben as you wanted without hiding how madly in love you were with him.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and/or reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Taglists are in reblog from now on.

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes x you #sunrisefairy2k #ben barnes fluff #ben barnes x yn #ben barnes fanfic #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes angst #ben barnes one shot #ben barnes imagine #benny b #mr. barnes #ben barnes blurb

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amity-park-news · 4 years ago

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Ghost plants and how they act!

We at Amity Park News are pleased that everyone is excited about the new plants that were donated to the park restoration by Fentonworks. However, we know not everyone has an encyclopedic knowledge of ectoplasmic plants. We sure don't! But the Ghost Investigation Ward (GIW) have given us a quick run down of all the ghost plants to share with you.

First up: Lightshade

These flowers are closely related to our real world Deadly Nightshade but in fact do quite the opposite. They were a common cure all in the past and still can be used to today as a cure for simple ailments such as a cold or headache. They are easy to spot due to the bright glowing berries which ripen other summer and fall. But be warned! Don't pick them when they start to lose their glow or you'll come down food poisoning!

Wolfsbane

Some of you were very surprised to see a real world plant on our list but it's true! Other than being beautiful, wolfsbane has many qualities that make them the perfect edition to our spooky park. While in folktales they are mostly associated with werewolves, they are actually very attracted to ghosts, specifically animal ghosts. These particular variant's leaves glow green in the dark or near ghosts.

Pumpkin Berries

Named due to their appearance being close to a pumpkin, these flowers glow all year round but are only ripe in October! It's very easy to tell a ripe pumpkin berry from unripe one because the flower sheds its petals and leaves behind a big glowing berry incased in a skeleton structure. The berries are incredibly sweet and make an excellent jam. But be careful not to heat them up to much! Or you'll have pumpkin berry jam all over your walls!

Blood Blossoms

These beautiful roses are said to ward off evil spirits. And they work! Any ghost with ill intentions will be scared off by these wonderful flowers. They begin to glow brighter when an evil spirit comes close to them and they give off a red mist that is revolting to them that they fly away!

Kraken's nest

Unfortunately due to the nature of these plants, it is practically impossible to get a picture of them. This is because they are constantly moving! You'll easily be able to recognise them though because of their big dark blue stems that are so light that they wave around at even the slightest breeze but are still so incredibly strong that they don't snap. All along the stems are little red glowing flowers that look like an octopus's suckers. They've been dubbed the Kraken's nest since they look like flailing octopus tentacles. They also supposedly only grow near water and protect the small fish that live there from birds. So of course they've been planted near the pond.

Black Calla Lilies

Another plant that can be found in our world, the Black Calla Lilies don't do much other than look pretty. However, they do grow much faster when planted on a ghosts grave. In the past they were planted in graveyards over freshly made graves and if after three days they still hadn't grown then it meant the person had gone to rest.

Queen of Ghosts

According to local folklore, these flowers were made by the King of the Dead for his human lover. Because he wasn't able to visit her, he scattered these flowers in the human world as a token of his affection. But they didn't grow in time for her to see them as she died, so the King went through a great depression and his tears caused the flowers to bloom. Much later the woman reappeared as a ghost and the King celebrated with his people and married her straight away. These flowers were there at the wedding and the happy couple's glow was reflected by the plants.

Of course it's doubtful any of this is true but it is greatly supported by how the flower reacts to emotions. Growing faster when surrounded by sorrow and glowing brighter when surrounded by joy.

And finally: Black Coral Elephant Ears

This plant may look unassuming in the picture but it truly shines at night. Literally! At night, the veins glow a bright green!

The GIW hopes this answers most of your burning questions but if they don't then they are more than happy to answer any more you may have.

#danny phantom #dp #ghost plants #restoring park #amity news #sponsored by giw #giw

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jadepetals · 4 years ago

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so this is part 5 of the fics that i’ve read and have stayed with me for a looong time, hope they make you feel the same way.

Happy Valentine's Day, You Cockroach / 2048 words

Harry Styles, new director of the Milltown Zoo, has a great idea for a Valentine's Day themed fundraiser. For a donation, they'll name cockroaches after people's exes and then feed them to the meerkats on a live stream. He just didn't foresee how many cockroaches would end up with his name...

tall stories on the page / 5705 words

harry's tired of being interviewed by people that only care about the same pointless gossip.

louis is a nice change of pace.

Visceral Heat & Carnal Highs / 17523 words

Louis is a demon at a house party prowling for a meal, indulging in horrendous sins to satisfy his hunger. Harry is the talk of the night, beckoning all eyes on him and the reason why Louis’s plan goes awry.

the dead things we carry / 25316 words

He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.

This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.

This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

Runaway Darling / 26725 words

Louis hates weddings, Harry loves them, and together they help bride skip hers.

This World’s Ashes / 34633 words

Harry, battling his past as he survives in the woods, has learnt not to trust anyone except his dog. Then Louis crashes into his life, with his bright spirit and soft lips, pulling Harry from the depths of a loneliness he hadn’t realised he was drowning in. But there is danger lurking, and Harry’s not the only one wrestling with his past.

The Things I'd Do To Wake Up Next To You / 36109 words

Harry wakes up to a pregnant Louis Tomlinson and a wedding band on his finger.

Tell Me How To Feel About You Now / 38220 words

Harry has been trying to convince Louis to date him for years, but Louis has always been wary of Harry’s fairly obvious commitment issues. Louis eventually gives him a chance, opening his heart up to the one thing he fears.

Spoonful of Sugar / 42900 words

Louis Tomlinson cares for his family above all else, a fact that’s led him on a twisted path peddling drugs to support them. Just as he’s made the decision to jump ship, Louis gets snared between the two largest crime syndicates in the city. To keep his family safe he’s forced to trust the man that failed to keep his promise two years ago, the resident drug lord he’s unknowingly been working for, Harry Styles.

tastes like summer, smiles like may / 47519 words

A cold prince, an alpha with nothing left to lose and a kingdom with a secret.

social cues / 55860 words

To Harry, Louis was becoming as tangible and essential as music in his life. He still was a mystery but at the same time, he was one of the most real things Harry had. He just hoped he could live up to the image Louis probably had in his mind of him.

He could play the part, after all, what was published of him wasn’t as detached from reality. He didn’t think of himself as a rockstar cliche, although he couldn't deny he did sleep around, partied a lot, and did some drugs. But then again, wasn’t that what the majority of his friends back in his hometown were doing at college?

Harry wanted to impress Louis, he didn’t want to disappoint or leave his expectations unfulfilled, so he’d give him the full rockstar experience.

It was a very simple plan, what could possibly go wrong?

try to not remember (rather than forget) / 60979 words

*this is the spanish version since the author deleted their account*

Liberté / 64603 words

Pretending you don’t have a heart is not the best way to not get it broken. It’s just the easiest.

where they glow / 70511 words

Tangled AU where Louis dreams, Harry runs, and the sun prince has been missing for almost nineteen years.

shelter as we go / 75094 words

Louis looks at him like his words might break him, glass about to splinter, one wrong footfall away from shattering into a million tiny pieces.

“Hey,” Harry breathes, and he knows, meeting Louis’ eyes, that his words could break him easy as anything. He almost wants Louis to bring his boot down.

somewhere in between lightning / 99647 words

A summer gone wrong (or very right) when, under Liam’s persuasion, Louis finds himself drunkenly applying for Love Island, and getting accepted. Oh, well. A summer spent on an island paradise couldn’t be all that bad, right?

Imagine his surprise when Louis arrives in sunny Majorca to find that his first love and ex-boyfriend, Harry, is another contestant, about to capture the hearts of everyone in the villa. Most normal people don’t have to face their ex on an otherwise straight TV show. Most normal people don’t fall for their ex again in front of the whole nation, either. Too bad this whole situation isn’t normal.

A Taste of Desire / 104414 words

Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

Mine Would Be You / 114697 words

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

Queen of Arizella / 277919 words

Stealing from Royalty is punishable by death.

Louis starts over, doing his best to keep his hands at his sides

but he is hungry and he tries stealing from the wrong Royal.

Harry is King of Arizella, he needs a Queen and who better than an omega on the run from death?

Louis will learn to become the perfect Queen -the perfect fake Queen, but only for a few months.

A fake lover, a fake Queen, but a real bond.

all we can do is keep breathing / 310000 words

A fated story of two broken and battered boys who barely survived the unimaginable and how the love of one little brave girl defies all the odds and somehow puts them back together.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

#self indulgent i just wanna be able to find them fast #larry fic rec #fic rec list #larry #fic rec #larry stylinson #april fic recs #i'm back

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wizzard890 · 4 years ago

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hi, you (and your lovely fiancee) seem wildly clever and good at, like, information intelligence. do you have advice on how to stay aware enough of sociopolitical stuff to 1) not be a dick and 2) help where you can, /without/ falling into a vortex of obsessively reading/thinking about awful things (bigotry, violence, etc) such that you end up doing nothing but feeling shit? any tips for striking a balance / recognising when to disengage / how to disengage would be really appreciated, thank you!

there’s actually a pretty easy answer to this. a few points:

1) don’t get your news from twitter or tumblr. they are aggregate machines that will only grind you down into doomscrolling and helplessness. their business model depends on keeping your eyes on the screen, so they’re incentivized to keep putting emotionally aggro stuff in front of your eyeballs. yes, the issues are real, the challenges are enormous, but they shouldn’t be poured into your brain like that. it’s arresting, not helpful. get a NYT subscription or something, check it before you eat dinner like a 50s dad coming home on the train, and then unplug. like, for the night. no more news. if something insane happens, you’ll hear about it, I promise. (a personal example: I’ve had “covid-19″ and all related terms blocked on my phone for over a year now. I ask aria about developments. it’s way better than having nightly panic attacks, can recommend.)

2) take action. knowledge of a topic or god forbid, signal boosting for awareness, is literally nothing. learn for your own edification and to help you treat others with kindness and empathy, but that’s a personal undertaking for the development of your character, not impact. find local fundraisers and donate. plug into local protests about housing, policing, unionization, etc. see if there’s a community center in need of support and put your body there on saturday mornings. things feel less crushing and insurmountable if you act.

#replies

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rashfordxbruno · 4 years ago

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"I am at the point where I feel I want to be open about my condition. I have been diagnosed with ‘mixed dementia’, which is more than one type of dementia, in my case, this being Alzheimer's and Vascular dementia. This has been an extremely difficult year for everyone and the long periods of isolation have certainly not helped.

It is an incredibly challenging and problematic disease and I have witnessed many friends go through this. You hope that it won’t happen to you, even make jokes about it whilst ignoring the early signs because you don’t want it to be true. You get angry, frustrated, confused and then worried, worried for your family, as they will be the ones dealing with it.

However, the time has come to tackle this head on, excuse the pun. I recognise how my brain is deteriorating and how my memory evades me when I don’t want it to and how this causes me distress in situations that are beyond my control. I do understand what is happening and that is why I want to address my situation now whilst I am able, because I know there will be days when I don’t understand and I hate the thought of that right now.

In the height of the pandemic, I said I hoped that if one positive was to come out of it, it would be that it would make people kinder to each other, so that’s what I am hoping for now. I don’t want people to be saddened if I forget places, people or dates because you need to remember I enjoyed all those memories and I am lucky to have experienced what I have in my life…a loving and supportive family, a great career doing what I loved and getting paid to do it, and lifelong friends.

I have good days and bad days and aim to take each day as it comes adjusting my lifestyle accordingly. I hung up my football boots a long time ago and now it’s time to put my signing days behind me too, so apologies to anyone who has sent me anything but I am just not able. I am trying to be positive and determined to continue watching my club, Manchester United at Old Trafford, hopefully this will be a season of success and I am excited by the new signings that Ole and the club have made.

Also, where possible, I would like to continue my involvement with the ‘Denis Law Legacy Trust’, the work the staff and volunteers do in the community is amazing and it makes a real difference.

I know the road ahead will be hard, demanding, painful and ever changing and so ask for understanding and patience as this will not be an easy journey, especially for the people who love you the most.

My daughter, Di, is completing ‘The Thames Bridges Trek’ challenge on 11 September to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Society so, if you can, please donate here.

As a family, we have been offered support by Alzheimer’s Society and have chosen to fundraise for the charity to help support its crucial work. Alzheimer’s Society’s services have never been in more need, used over 5.5 million times since March 2020, and are a lifeline to thousands of families who are also facing a dementia diagnosis.

The charity is also doing amazing work with the sports industry, with its Sport United Against Dementia campaign, which I fully support. This really could make the biggest difference to former players, players, and fans alike."

Thank you

Denis

#manchester united #mufc #denis law #stay strong denis

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joochansimp · 5 years ago

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Wanted | Chapter 1

> synopsis: a ‘vampire knight’ inspired fic in which the human reader goes to a prestigious university, home to both humans and vampires. she catches the attention of a group of vampires and chaos ensues. > genre: fantasy, angst, fluff, uni, very crack & au. also very indulgent lol > pairing: readerxjuyeon, readerxrowoon, readerxseonghwa, readerxjaehyun (it is complicated... KJSDHFKSJ) (also more pairings/characters might be added later) > warnings: descriptions of blood, mild wounds, memory loss, manipulative behaviour sometimes. > words: 3.5k

You took a deep breath as you entered the building that would be your home for the next seven years of your life. Your stomach was filled with excited jitters, though a part of you was anxious. You didn’t really know what you were in for—everything you knew about Sagong Academy, and many other private academies of the sort, was that it was prestigious and that a lot of freshly graduated highschoolers from all over the world wanted to get in. You also knew that it was dangerous. How could it not be when the school was home to vampires?

You hadn’t met a lot of vampires in your life. Statistically, most vampires got turned between the age of 18 and 30, so you had never gone to school with one. There wasn’t a way of telling whether someone was a vampire or not, since they were able to walk around in the sunlight and physically looked the same as humans if they chose to, so unless they openly showed their nature, they were disguised.

When you stepped into the school building, however, you realised it was going to be very easy to keep the humans and vampires apart.

‘’You must be one of the first years,’’ a cheerful boy beamed at you as he walked over, holding out a folder. You nodded and took it, already taken aback by his demanding presence. He was wearing an all-white uniform: neat dress pants that were cuffed at the bottom, a white dress shirt, a white blazer and white shoes. The only things that weren’t white were his tie and some lined details on his uniform, which were a soft, warm orange. The girl next to him was wearing a uniform that was mostly the dark grey color of the boy’s tie, with a grey skirt, shirt, blazer and shoes, including the lined details that mimicked the boy’s uniform. Her stockings were the only fully white items, each having two orange lines at the top.

‘’I’m Changmin, second year student representative of the human house. This is Gahyeon, she’s the second year representative of the vampire house. If you have any questions, we’re the ones you can talk to. What is your name?’’ he asked, looking down at a clipboard as he waited for your answer.

‘’Y/N,’’ you told him, quickly getting used to his fast paced and quirky presence.

‘’Ah, right here,’’ he said with a smile as he crossed your name off of the list.

‘’You’ve been paired up with Lee Jeno, table fifteen in the auditorium,’’ he said, pointing his pen to the left.

‘’Thank you,’’ you smiled at him, then made your way to the auditorium. You already knew the school was wealthy, but seeing the grand building in all its glory, both on the outside and inside, made it all the more real. Golden details on the walls and furniture, marble floors, and the three story high ceiling in the auditorium all showed off how exclusive the school was.

Rows and rows of tables were situated in the large room, and you walked around as you looked at the golden rimmed disks with numbers on the tables. At table number fifteen a dark haired boy sat, who was looking around, looking like he was carrying around about the same amount of nerves as you were. You walked over and cleared your throat, and as you caught his attention he got up from his seat.

‘’Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m supposed to sit at this table with you,’’ you introduce yourself, bowing at the boy. He quickly got up and bowed back, a friendly smile on his face.

‘’Nice to meet you, I’m Jeno,’’ he replied, sitting back down, and you sit next to him.

‘’This place sure is big, isn’t it?’’ he said as you both looked around the room.

‘’Definitely,’’ you agreed, your gaze falling on the back of the room, where a low stage was situated. Some people, whom you assumed were teachers, were standing on it, talking to each other as they waited for all the first years to arrive. You weren’t much of a talker and it seemed like Jeno wasn’t either, which suited you just fine. You preferred to get adjusted to a place and new people before completely opening yourself up, so you took this time to take a good look at the people around you. They were all either wealthy, or scholarship students like yourself, you assumed.

At exactly 9:00 the doors to the auditorium closed, and the staff gathered on the stage. You recognised Changmin and Gahyeon among them. A man stepped up to the microphone, which stood in the center of the stage, and the sound of people talking died down.

‘’Welcome to Sagong Academy. On behalf of the staff, we hope that you will find your stay here educational, enlightening and comfortable. If you have any questions after today’s introductory gathering, please do not hesitate to ask our student representatives,’’ the man said, motioning to a group of six students, including Changmin and Gahyeon. ‘’During your first lessons tomorrow, you will be introduced to them on a more personal level.’’

The speech was long, though anything but boring. Classes were divided between day and night. Vampires didn’t really need to stay inside during the day, but their nightly lifestyle was what worked and what was most convenient. The day and night classes would be mixed during breakfast and dinner—as vampires did in fact eat ‘’regular’’ food next to drinking blood—and during leisure time. During lunch however, night class students would be catching sleep, whereas when you went to bed at night, that’s when the night students would have their classes and their respective lunch. More small details about how things went around the academy were told, until the principal started to call out students’ names, and the dorms they would be staying in.

‘’If you would please follow the student representatives to the dorms. Classes start tomorrow morning at 8:00. Once again, welcome to Sagong Academy.’’

Everyone started clapping, then the murmur of excited students took over. You got up at the same time as Jeno did and you made your way to the groups that were forming.

‘’I’ll see you around,’’ Jeno said to you, to which you smiled in reply and nodded.

‘’Yes, seeya.’’

You walked to the girl who was holding a card that said ‘’1C’’ on it, which was the dorm number that the principal had mentioned when he called your name. You joined the group of girls and waited until the student representative started to walk out of the auditorium. Your group followed, the exited murmurs still hovering in the air, as you walked through the building to the west wing. The girls around you were talking way too excitedly to pay any attention to you, which, once again, suited you just fine.

You arrived at the dorm with the 9 other girls in your group, and gathered around the student representative.

‘’My name is Yoohyeon and I’m a fourth year student of the vampire house,’’ the student representative introduced herself.

‘’You’ll share this dorm room among the ten of you, the main common room out there is used by all human students, though you are allowed to spend your free time anywhere else in the building, except for the vampire dorm rooms. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask.’’

She continued talking about practical things, like the school uniforms—which were apparently waiting for you on your bed, and information about classes. Your attention really got caught when she started talking about the feeding procedure.

‘’We have to what now?’’ one of the girls piped up.

‘’Donate your blood,’’ Jayeon repeated without blinking. ‘’Humans donate their blood to the vampire students, no less than once a month, no more than two times a week. Only closely monitored and safe amounts at a time, of course. You can decide how many times you want to do it. If you have medical issues, arrangements can be made, of course. You can speak to the school nurse about that.’’

You had heard about donating blood, though a part of you always thought it was just a rumor. Having it confirmed like this made you even more nervous than you already were. The other girls once again broke into excited whispers, and after Yoohyeon took her leave, you picked a bed and unpacked your luggage. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to not feel too homesick. The next few years sure were going to be interesting.

‘’Ah, fresh blood.’’

Juyeon joined Rowoon by the window, both young males now looking down at the groups of first year humans spreading around the courtyard. It was rare to see vampires out and about during the day, simply because most didn’t like to surround themselves with potential triggers. And also because many felt like they were above humans.

‘’Anyone caught your attention yet?’’

‘’Not really. We’ll see, though, once donations start. Think you’ll become a regular this year?’’ Rowoon asked him in return.

‘’Nah, I’m sticking to synthetic for now,’’ Juyeon shook his head. ‘’You know I’m not good at selfcontrol.’’

Rowoon just chuckled softly in return. He remembered all too well how Juyeon had nearly sucked a poor girl dry during one of his first donation sessions. After that the school nurse urged him to switch to synthetic blood for the time being, so he could get used to blood before he learned to control his thirst. Most vampires learned within a few months of transitioning how to resist taking more blood than they needed, but some required a little (or a lot) more time and effort than that.

‘’Well I’m not sticking to synthetic—I can’t wait to try out the newcomers,’’ San smirked as he joined the two older students by the window.

‘’You know it’s going to be at least a few weeks before you get to feed from the vein, right?’’ Rowoon arched an eyebrow at the newborn vampire.

‘’Sure, but it’ll fly by,’’ he said optimistically.

They turned as the door to their common room opened and one of the student representatives entered the room.

‘’Ah, Jaehyun. How was the introduction?’’ Rowoon asked, now walking away from the window.

‘’Interesting. I spotted a few potential recruits, but we’ll have to see,’’ he said with a light shrug.

‘’How about donors? Any with good scents?’’ San pressed, clearly still in the first phase of vampirism, when the hunger was at its peak.

‘’A couple exceptional ones,’’ Jaehyun confirmed with a nod. ‘’I’m sure there will be an argument or two about who gets to request who during donations.’’

Though not usual, it was possible for vampires to request specific humans for blood donations. Since different vampires had different tastes and every human student had to donate blood, there was always plenty of blood for all vampires, but some of the night class students had developed preferences. As some students chose to become vampires after their first year, like San had, some vampires had to make do with the remaining humans and newcomers.

‘’Will your fourth year finally be there year where you drink human blood, too?’’ San asked Jaehyun.

‘’No human blood for me,’’ Jaehyun replied with a shake of his head.

‘’Why not, you were the only one who didn’t struggle when that human girl got a bloody nose in the courtyard last school year,’’ San inquired.

‘’That’s exactly why; I don’t need to satisfy my craving. Synthetic blood works for me and I prefer not to tempt myself when I don’t have to.’’

‘’So mature of you,’’ Seonghwa noted, who had been leaning against one of the many windows in the room, listening to the conversation. Jaehyun chuckled softly at his remark, knowing that the blonde vampire was just teasing him, which was confirmed by the smile on Seonghwa’s lips.

‘’You should try it some time, you might like it.’’

‘’I highly doubt that,’’ Seonghwa said, turning up his nose at the idea of giving up real human blood to the synthetic crap that Jaehyun and Juyeon drank.

‘’Anyway, if you want to get rest before classes tonight, this is the moment,’’ Rowoon announced as he walked to the room of his dorm. Though vampires didn’t really need to sleep, or eat regular food for that matter, both of these things helped with suppressing their ultimate craving for human blood, so most vampires spent a few hours a day resting in bed at least.

‘’I should. See you guys tonight,’’ Juyeon said, following Rowoon to the spiral staircase that led up to the different dorm rooms..

‘’Boring,’’ San sighed, flopping down on the black leather couch in the middle of the sitting area.

‘’Don’t be a baby. Things will soon get interesting around here,’’ Seonghwa said with a wink, before averting his gaze to the courtyard. Very interesting.

‘’Welcome to your first class at Sagong Academy. I am your homeroom teacher, as well as your Ethics teacher, Mrs. Byeon. Please do not hesitate to ask any questions, should you have any.’’

‘’When will we start having to give blood donations?’’ someone asked immediately. You could see that Mrs. Byeon was ticked off by the sudden question, even though she just said questions were welcome, from the slight clench of her jaw.

‘’Actually, your first ones will be made today. You’ll be escorted to the donation wing by one of the student representatives assigned to this class shortly.’’

Even though the subject had been touched upon several times now, nobody had explained how the blood donations actually worked. Did you simply have to sit in a chair while a nurse stuck a needle in your arm so a vampire could suck the blood out of you with a straw?

You shook your head, trying to practically shake the image out of your head, as it made your skin crawl.

When Changmin entered the class with his signature smile on his face, Mrs. Byeon dismissed the class. You grabbed your bag and got up, following the second year student with the rest of your classmates. It was nice walking around the building, as it helped you get to know the place better, though you were sure that you would get lost at some point. You noticed that not only did the human students’ uniforms differ from the vampire uniforms, yours being white and theirs grey, but the lined details came in different colors too.

“They represent what year you’re in. Mine are orange, for second years. Yours are red, which means first years. Third years are yellow, fourth years green, and so forth, all up until the seventh year,” Changmin explained, looking back over his shoulder after you had asked him about it.

‘’Here we are,’’ Changmin said, entering a large room. In the middle of the room stood a large desk, behind which three school nurses were working. Throughout the room were white leather couches with soft looking pillows, some of which were occupied by other human students. Along the left wall of the room were five doors, all of which were closed, and all with a bright red light bulb above them.

‘’Those are the rooms in which the donations take place. If the light bulb is on, it means that the room is being used. The nurses will tell you when it’s time for you to enter a room. You can choose to keep the light on or off inside the room, depending on what makes you the most comfortable. A vampire will bite your neck—don’t worry, their teeth are so sharp you’ll hardly feel anything—and with the use of a blood pressure monitor the school nurse will be able to keep track of your health. Though don’t worry, vampires know exactly when to stop and most choose to do so before it gets unpleasant.’’

You wondered why he would include that last bit of information, as it instantly made you nervous, but you realised that he probably had to mention it as a disclaimer.

‘’The most important thing is to relax. You’ll get used to it, and after a while it’s nothing to be nervous about at all.’’

As you waited, you watched some of the students coming out of the donation rooms. They looked fine, as far as you could tell. They all had a small band aid stuck to their neck, and the nurses handed each of them either a piece of fruit or a cookie, to get their blood sugar level up again.

Seeing the students act so ordinary after giving blood, you felt a little bit calmer. There was nothing to worry about, surely if this was a normal thing here at school, accidents were unusual. Right?

You were about to tap Changmin on the shoulder to ask whether a student had ever died during a donation session, when one of the nurses called your name.

‘’Door number two, please,’’ she smiled, motioning to the second door on the left. You gulped and got up, smoothing out your white skirt, and made your way to the door. You opened it and slowly stepped inside. The room was smaller than you expected, though not any less beautiful that the other areas you had been to so far. There was another door on the wall across from you, the doorframe and knob the same shining gold as everywhere else in the building. In the middle of the square room was a comfortable looking stool with a rich red cushion on it. A small table on the side held a small bottle of water, a few band aids, a wristband of some sort and what seemed to be an instruction card on it. You stepped up to the table and picked up the card.

Please drink at least a small amount of water before donating.

Please place the wristband around your wrist firmly, though not so firm that it cuts off your circulation. The light on the wristband should be green.

When you are ready, please press the red button next to the door frame.

Please take a seat on the stool (facing the door you entered through) and await instructions.

You put the card down and took the bottle of water. You weren’t sure what a few sips of water would do for the blood donating experience, but it helped a little bit to calm your nerves. You took a few gulps, then put the bottle down again and took the wristband. You put it around your wrist, then tightened it so that it sat comfortably against your skin. After a few seconds a small green light on the wristband lit up. So far so good.

You looked at the red button next to the door you entered through, and hesitantly pressed it. You then stepped to the stool and climbed up on it, sitting with your back towards the other door. You took a deep breath and waited for the instructions.

‘’Please choose: lights, on or off,’’ a slightly robotic voice asked you. You hesitated. You weren’t afraid of the dark—you were actually pretty comfortable in it. Though did you really want an unknown vampire feeding from you for the first time in the dark?

‘’Please choose: lights, on or off,’’ the voice asked you again.

What was worse, being fed on by someone while being able to see their face, or not?

‘’Off,’’ you decided, still unsure of your decision. Right now, you’d rather not be confronted with the face of the person who would have your life in their hands for the next few minutes, and having to face them afterwards around school. Especially since you didn’t know whether you would freak out or not. What if it hurt and you screamed? What if they didn’t stop when you started to get dizzy?

The light turned off and you nearly held your breath awaiting what would happen next. A small amount of light entered the room as the door behind you opened and someone entered. The door closed again and you were engulfed in darkness. You expected someone to greet you, or at least say something to indicate that they were there, but it remained quiet. Your body tensed and your heartbeat quickened. They surely wouldn’t just bite you out of the blue, would they? Not only would that be rude, but it would undoubtedly ruin the whole experience for you, scaring you for each and every following time you had to donate—

Your train of thoughts got cut off when you felt someone brush your hair to the side, gently pushing it over your left shoulder, exposing the right side of your neck. You shivered lightly at the sudden touch, even though it was ever so soft. You could feel the person behind you inch closer and… you could have sworn that they sniffed at you.

The tip of their nose brushed lightly against your exposed skin, making you shiver once again. Your heart was beating rapidly and they had hardly even touched you yet.

‘’Hmm…’’ the person hummed softly, the first thing they had said to you at all, if you could even call it ‘saying’ anything.

‘’Nice to meet you, princess.’’

46 notes · View notes

puddygeeks · 5 years ago

Text

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 40: Lᴇᴀᴘ Oғ Fᴀɪᴛʜ

Masterlist

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Forty

I slowly became aware of the bed beneath me and sat bolt upright in fear, expecting to be back in the clean white room in Mount Weather. Instead, when my eyes opened it was to the strikingly familiar interior of the Ark. There were rows of firm, uncomfortable beds and I recognised the artificially lit, entirely metal space as the ship that we’d once lived in. A large volume of metal units filled the room that were littered with medical supplies and I quickly calculated that this was the medical unit. I glanced over to my side to find Bellamy’s exhausted face and his features contorted into a relieved expression as he fretted over me.

“You’re awake!” He breathed in disbelief and I gazed back at him thankfully. “Let me get some help.” He added worriedly as if snapping from a trance and moved to get to his feet. I reached out to grasp his hand and he jolted as he turned back to face me.

“Wait, don't go.” I asked and I felt sheepish as his eyes met mine. I still couldn’t quite believe that he was here in front of me. When I first woke up, I fully expected our last encounter to have been a pleasant yet heartbreaking dream. I didn’t want to take my eyes off him for a moment and was afraid that if I did, he would disappear. “Please, don’t leave me.” I whispered and I felt incredibly vulnerable as I bared my feelings to him. He sank reluctantly back into his seat with a sympathetic look and I gripped his hand for comfort. “I can’t believe you’re still here, I never thought I’d see you again.” I breathed as I tugged his hand to guide him closer to me and I felt comforted when he leaned into my space.

“I just...I can’t stop looking at you. I don’t have to rely on memory.” I thought aloud as I examined him. He was clean now but his hair was still scruffy, just in his usual, carefully styled way. The bruising around his warm, hypnotising brown eyes had started to fade since I saw him last, but I could still see the slight hint of purple in the corners. He regarded me with an interest that mirrored mine and I smiled at the sight of it. “I didn’t know that I could miss another person like this.” I admitted under my breath as I relished everything about him, every sense that was focused on him. I felt a stray tear escape only to slide down my cheek and he leaned in to wipe it away with a gentle touch as he viewed me with tenderness.

“I’m not going anywhere Indigo, not this time.” He asserted as he cupped my face in his hand and I leaned into his touch as I allowed my eyes to flicker closed. I was soothed by his warmth and tried to settle my doubts. My eyes were forced open by a slight pang of pain from the side where I’d been shot. The realisation dawned on me with disappointment that the injury had been real too and I sat forward to look down at myself. I pushed back the blanket to find that I was only wearing a small black vest and my boxer style underwear, with a dressing on the left side of my waist. I peeked back at Bellamy who was watching me with raised brows and I quickly covered myself again with the blanket. I definitely hadn’t intended to expose myself to him but he didn’t seem to mind at all.

“We had to undress you so that Abby could operate.” He explained with an amused smile. “Unfortunately we couldn’t save your pretty dress, but Abby managed to patch you up nicely.” He added with a mischievous wink and I was annoyed to find my cheeks flush slightly.

“Of course you’d find that dress pretty.” I groaned in an attempt to clear my embarrassment, but internally I enjoyed having the chance to find out what he thought of it. I’d considered it when I first chose the feminine item and it was strange to now be sitting here, having this conversation with him.

“On you, yes.” His eyes sparkled with attraction as he spoke and I blushed harder at the unexpected compliment. “It’s unusual to see you in actual girl’s clothes.” He teased and I slapped him gently on the arm in response, earning a chuckle from him. I examined him and realised that he was no longer wearing the uniform that I’d seen him in last. He was dressed in a familiar black t-shirt and combat trousers, and I smiled at the sentimentality of it.

“You changed outfits too?” I asked as I observed him. “You didn’t fancy the stiff Mount Weather clothes either, huh?” I teased as he glimpsed down at himself and then back at me with a warm smile.

“Yeah, not a fan.” He chuckled as he shuffled comfortably in his seat. “Although I didn’t have much of a choice after you bled all over me.” He added with a playful look and I grimaced in response.

“Wow, I really need to stop doing that.” I commented awkwardly and he laughed openly in response. I caught sight of the unnervingly familiar surroundings and realised that it felt entirely strange to be back inside the space station we’d grown up in, especially with a man who hadn’t known who I was when we left it. “It’s just like being on the Ark in here.” I said thoughtfully as I scanned my way back to him. “How are you managing it?” I enquired as I viewed him with concern. I remembered how nervous he was at the idea of people from the station coming to Earth and I couldn’t imagine that it was easy for him to be faced with the actual structure itself.

“It’s not so bad.” He shrugged and I raised my brows at him in surprise. “I’ve got proper quarters, solid roof over my head.” He explained and I smiled at his description. I was glad to see that he was finding the positives in the situation and I became aware of how much he had grown since we’d been apart. Although I had completely fallen apart without him, I was interested to find out what happened to cause him to have the strangely controlled attitude that I didn’t recognise.

“Oh wow, that really sounds great.” I breathed as I fixed him with a teasing expression. He inspected me with an excited interest as he waited for the taunt that he knew was coming and I enjoyed seeing how well he’d come to know me. “But can it really compare to the luxury of your tent in camp? An old parachute over a log structure, pile of fabrics on the ground for a bed, cold breeze blowing through all the time, constant interruptions?” I reeled off expecting a chuckle, but instead he studied me with an expression that I didn’t recognise on him.

“Well, when you put it that way, it’s hard to choose.” He started as he moved from his seat to perch on the edge of the bed beside me. “But there’s one thing this camp has over the tent…” He trailed off as he brought his hand to rest by my face, his thumb caressing my jaw as his gaze fell on my lips with a fascinated expression. “I never kissed you in the tent.” He spoke regretfully before he leaned in to press his lips against mine with tenderness, despite the deep feeling of longing that I could sense in his touch.

I was lost to the same feeling of bliss as the first time he kissed me, even though this was much gentler than before. His scruffy hair tickled my cheek and his nose bumped mine as he turned his face to take my lips fully. I breathed a soft moan against him and I felt his smile on my lips. My chest leaned forward to meet his and his hand slid from my jaw into my hair smoothly. My heart pounded in my chest as I felt my head spinning and I could only concentrate on how soft his lips felt against mine as he invaded all of my senses. I was amazed by his ability to take my breath away and I could feel the familiar flutter in my chest that only he could give me. Someone sharply cleared their throat and we broke apart reluctantly. I glanced over to discover Octavia watching us from the door with an amused look and her brow raised in interest.

“Well, you two didn’t waste any time.” She crooned as she surveyed us and although I was sure that I would have been embarrassed to be caught in the act at any other time, I was too glad for the sight of her to feel anything but relief.

“Octavia!” I gasped as tears filled my eyes and she smiled fondly as she stepped toward me. Bellamy quickly stood and wandered quietly from the room. I felt an immediate pang at his absence but I kept my focus on Octavia as she neared and sat on the bed. “You’re a hell of a sight for sore eyes.” I breathed as I poured over her and she smiled at me with watery eyes. Her hair was braided in several small plaits away from her face and I could still see some residue of what seemed to be war paint around her eyes. Even though Bellamy had warned me that she was involved with the grounders now, it was still jarring to see her looking so different. I forced the sadness from my mind and met her tear filled green eyes with a feeling of sentimentality. “God I missed you so much.” I whispered as I regarded her.

“Not as much as you missed my brother by the looks of it.” She teased as she smiled at me coyly even through her emotion and I chuckled under my breath. It was refreshing to find that her suggestive humour was still intact and I was reassured to hear it again.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want kisses too?” I insinuated as I leaned forward to grab her face in my hands and used her shock to plaster her skin in playful butterfly kisses. She snorted in laughter and tried to bat me off until I was giggling too hard to continue. The strain of the laughter caused me to wince in pain and the sound pulled us back into the reality of our situation. I sat back to wipe my eyes of tears that were a combination of relief and joy and took in the welcome sight of her smile. I felt a wave of sadness as I remembered the pain of the earth shattering moment that the dropship launched and my lip trembled as I tried to stop the feelings from overflowing. “I thought I’d lost you.” I muttered and she took my hand in hers with a gentle squeeze. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” I added as I absorbed the sight of her and she smiled fondly.

“You too. It’s good to have you back.” She stated before she pulled me into a tight embrace. She held me to her for several minutes and I enjoyed basking in her presence. It felt like it had been years since it was just the two of us against the world and things were finally back to how they were supposed to be. I heard rushed footsteps and saw Bellamy re-enter the space with an older brunette woman immediately behind him. She hurried in to look at me and Octavia sat back to glance over her shoulder at her. “I’ll let Doc check you over. Get some rest.” She answered with a final affectionate squeeze on my shoulders before wandering from the room. Bellamy remained in place at the door with his arms crossed as he watched the woman approach me with a worried look.

“Well, it’s nice to formally meet you at last. My name is Abby Griffin, I’m Clarke’s mother.” She smiled as she reached me and I gulped awkwardly. I tried not to concentrate on my ill treatment of Clarke as she busied herself with checking me over. She worked thoroughly, checking my blood pressure, temperature and all of the other necessary tests before checking my wound. “I’ve heard quite a lot about you from the other kids of your camp. It sounds like you’ve played a large part in keeping them alive all of this time. I’d say they’ve been lucky to have you.” She spoke thoughtfully as she worked and I scoffed. I glanced over to Bellamy who smiled with amusement dancing in his eyes at her words. I returned my attention to her and shuffled awkwardly as I saw her notice the way that we spied at each other. I found myself wondering exactly how much she knew and tried not to focus too hard on the thought. “Your vitals are looking good and the wound seems to be healing nicely. A couple more days and you should be ready to join the rest of camp.” She summarised as she smiled at me and I felt my heart drop in disappointment.

“Come on Doc. I’ve spent way too long locked up, attached to wires and being treated like a specimen in that mountain.” I appealed to her and she sighed at me. “I can’t sit in this room for days, I’ll go mad.” I justified and she scanned me in frustration.

“Indigo, you were shot.” She began as she scolded me like a misbehaving child and I huffed in annoyance at her tone. “You’re not even ready to walk yet. You need to rest.” She instructed and I quickly realised that I had not missed the restrictions of the adults of the Ark. I no longer felt my own age after everything I’d been through on Earth and I certainly didn’t appreciate being parented.

“I’ve survived worse than a gunshot, I’ll manage.” I drawled as I accidentally allowed my bitterness to show. I recalled that she was part of the council that had made the decision to send us down here and I couldn’t contain the cold look that escaped to my face. She grimaced before recovering to an understanding smile.

“I appreciate your strength, but this isn’t something you can just tough out.” She spoke in a gentler tone now as she viewed me with sympathy and I got the impression that I wasn’t the first of the 100 to remind her how much we’d grown in our time here. “If you start walking too soon you’ll rip your stitches. You were lucky to survive this already, don’t push your luck.” She advised as she pondered me with concern. I turned subtly to Bellamy with a pleading expression and he cleared his throat as he entered the space.

“Surely she could rest somewhere else?” He suggested and she squinted over at him with a pointed expression that revealed she wasn’t impressed with him for getting involved.

“Bellamy, she can’t walk!” She repeated with an impatient tone as she raised a brow at him and he shifted under her scrutiny. He returned his gaze to me with a mischievous look and I was glad to find that he hadn’t given up on me yet.

“She doesn’t have to walk.” He argued and she perceived him with confusion. “I’ll carry her.” He suggested and I smiled at his devious idea. I couldn’t help a feeling of girlish delight at the idea of him carrying me out of here to my freedom and I annoyed myself with my simple desires. Abby glimpsed between the two of us with tired eyes.

“I don’t think either of you are fully understanding how serious this is.” She sighed as she caught us staring at each other with blatant attraction and I could tell that she was tired of our young group causing issues with their hormones. “She almost died, I was barely able to save her and you’re acting as if you’re simply trying to get out of being grounded.” She lectured and I saw a slight subtle smile in the corner of Bellamy’s lips as he crept his way toward me.

“I hear you Abby, I know it’s serious. And I promise I’ll be careful with her.” He spoke coyly and he started to wrap me in the blanket before sliding his hands beneath me. He paused once in position to meet my eyes with concern. “Tell me straight away if anything hurts.” He stated firmly and I nodded in acceptance. He gently lifted me into his arms, moving in slow, careful motions until he completely straightened up to standing and held me in a bridal style.

“Bellamy stop!” Abby shouted as she moved to block our exit and observed me in worry.

“I’m fine Doc, no pain at all. It’s a perfectly safe transfer.” I smiled and she neared to check my dressing for any sign of damage. I waited nervously for her to order me back to bed and I decided that I needed to take a more emotional approach if I was going to win her over. “Please Abby, I can’t stay cooped up in wards any longer.” I pleaded with a pained look and her stern expression finally crumbled.

“Where are you going to take her?” She asked as she glared up at Bellamy in a sceptical manner. “The dorms aren’t exactly restful.” She sighed as she rubbed her forehead in frustration. I noticed a mischievous look crossed Bellamy’s face and I knew that whatever he was about to do or say would be a gamble.

“She can stay in my room, I’ll make sure she’s not disturbed.” He suggested in his best attempt at an innocent voice and I could hardly believe that he’d been brave enough to suggest this to her face. He beheld her with a hopeful expression and I had to hold my breath through the tension of the silence. Abby sighed and threw her hands up in exasperation.

“Fine! Please be careful how you move her.” She ordered and we both nodded obediently. I felt my heart skip a beat at the thought of getting some time alone with him and she clocked us both with an expression that showed that she anticipated the worst from us. “And both of you, make sure she rests! I mean it, I don’t want to see her back here in a couple of hours needing new stitches because you two couldn’t behave yourselves.” She added as she raised a brow at us and I felt my cheeks redden slightly at her implication.

“Absolutely, doctors orders.” Bellamy agreed before he looked down at me with evident excitement in his smile. “Come on Trouble. Let’s get you out of here.” He quipped as he swung me to face the doors and I could hear Abby calling out in annoyance at his rapid movement as I cackled wildly.

He carried me carefully through the camp, ensuring that I was properly covered by the blanket and I was surprised by how cold it was outside. He stuck to the outer edges of the camp to avoid being seen by too many residents and I felt a strange sense of nostalgia as we entered the familiar halls of the Ark. It was bizarre to be inside the structure when I knew that we were on Earth and it felt as if two contradictory parts of my life collided as I noticed daylight streaming in through the windows that had previously only ever showed space. We entered a large, well furnished room and he carried me over to the bed to place me down with cautious movements. I knew that he had been instructed to be careful with me, but I resented being treated as if I was so delicate and fidgeted to make myself comfortable. I pondered the wide space and was pleasantly surprised by the room that he had been assigned.

“You know, you were right. This isn’t bad at all, especially the whole having an actual bed part. I have to admit though, I still kind of prefer the charm of the tent.” I teased as I met his eyes and he explored me fondly.

“Well, it has at least one more advantage on the tent.” He said coyly as he stood by the bed and I raised a brow at him with interest.

“Oh yeah?” I asked as I felt a nervous sense of anticipation after his earlier choice of comparison between the two locations; I wondered if he would use this as a segway into kissing me again and I had to admit that I wouldn’t mind. He crossed the room and closed the door, turning to face me with a suggestive look as he slowly slid the lock across. I felt my heart start to race as he scanned me and I tried to deny the excitement that grew in my chest. “No more rude interruptions? However will you cope?” I spoke with a playful tone as he sauntered back over to the bed and perched on the edge to face me with concern.

“So, it’s just us, you don’t need to put on a brave face now.” He spoke in a serious tone and I was confused by the sudden change in his demeanour. “How are you really?” He investigated as he studied me closely and I could tell that he was trying to analyse my reaction. I had no doubt that he knew me well enough to see through any false answers but I was so distracted by the thrill of being alone with him that I was able to be honest.

“I’m fine Bellamy.” I answered with a confident smile and he looked sceptical. “You don’t need to fuss over me. I feel better right now than I have in a long time.” I added as I brought my focus back to him with a feeling of contentment. His eyes flitted down to my stomach, then back at me with a doubtful expression.

“Can I check?” He requested and I peeked at him in surprise. “I want to make sure I didn’t do any damage getting you here, you don’t seem to be the best at noticing your injuries.” He spoke with a poignant look at me and I had nothing I could say to argue with his logic. I nodded at him and he took a deep breath as he moved closer to me.

He gently lifted the blanket off me to reveal my loosely dressed form. I felt my cheeks growing warm as his eyes briefly scanned over me and I tried to contain the tension that built inside of me. Bellamy carefully gripped the lower edge of my vest and slid it up to reveal the fresh, white dressing on the left side of my waist. I felt goosebumps spread over my skin as his hand brushed my waist. He traced his fingers along the edge of the dressing and my eyes fluttered closed as I battled my urge to touch him. My mind strained to concentrate on anything else but my heart wouldn’t cooperate. I opened my eyes to catch him gulping as he met my gaze and I was overwhelmed with impulsiveness.

I sat up to put a hand on his jaw and pulled him into an urgent kiss. He took a sharp intake of breath before surrendering himself to my touch. The kiss that he returned was gentle, as if he was trying to hold back the swell of desire that threatened to sweep us away but it wasn’t gentleness that I wanted now. I felt the crushing power of the tension that had been building between us since I first laid eyes on him, clean and tidy with his neatly combed back hair in the dropship and I shivered with a fresh feeling of attraction. My hand knotted in his shirt to bring him closer to me, desperate to feel him against me as I enjoyed the rugged, dishevelled look that he wore in recent days. I was drawn to the man that he’d become since we arrived here and I could ignore the magnetising lust for him no longer. I felt like I’d been disconnected from a potent power source as he removed himself from me and he moved back to view me anxiously.

“You’re supposed to be resting Indie.” He spoke reluctantly between heavy breaths and although his words were scolding, I could see the fire of temptation dancing in his eyes.

“I feel very rested.” I crooned and subtly drifted back to him as he visibly struggled to resist me. My lips brushed his gently and for a few seconds he slipped into the moment as he leaned into me as if he were pulled by some enchanting force. I moved slowly to thread my fingers into his hair and lured him back into our connection as I longed to feel his skin on mine. He pulled back regretfully, blinking several times as if combating dizziness and tried to fix me with a serious look, despite the obvious arousal in his body language. He gripped my wrists to contain me and I sighed in annoyance as he raised a disapproving brow at me.

“I’m serious.” He stated with an attempt at a firm tone but his voice shook subtly and I could sense that he was struggling to maintain control. “You got shot.” He breathed as his eyes flickered to my waist and the worry returned. I scoffed at his words and rolled my eyes.

“Everyone keeps saying that like I don’t realise, I was there you know.” I huffed as I removed my wrists from him and sat back out of his space. He peeked at me with concern and I met his eyes with a feeling of sadness in my chest. “I’m fully aware that I almost died again; right after spending weeks locked away, thinking that you were dead.” I added as his look softened and I felt the familiar pang of pain as I remembered the grief that I’d experienced. I glanced at him pleadingly and my voice dropped to a low tone as I tried to reason with him.

“Bellamy right now we’re alive, we’re safe and we’re alone. We may not get this chance again. If this whole mess has taught me anything, it’s to embrace the moment whilst it’s here and not to waste your chances. I don’t want to live with any more regret.” I explained and he nodded slightly as he viewed me with understanding. I noticed that he was slowly becoming less guarded as he absorbed my words and his eyes started to roam over me with a conflicted interest as he considered what to do. I could tell that his resolve was wavering and so I leaned into him again to kiss his cheek, lingering by his ear. “I want this, don’t you?” I whispered in a breathy voice, peppering featherlight kisses along his cheek and down onto his neck as I was enveloped in his musky scent. He made a low growl that tickled against my lips and as I leaned back to kiss him fully, he cradled my face with a shaking hand that held me back weakly.

“Don’t tempt me.” He growled as he met my eyes with a passion that heated the air in the barely existent space between us. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered in a softer voice as his brows furrowed in worry.

I smiled warmly at him and felt comforted by his care. I sensed a slight vulnerability that lurked under my desire. Although the regret that haunted me in Mount Weather urged me to seize the moment, I couldn’t deny that there was still an element of nervousness in my chest for what I was about to do. For a fleeting moment, I felt the worries return that he might toss me aside afterwards, that what was between us would burn out now that he’d succeeded in rescuing me, that he’d simply move on to the next damsel in distress. I had to mentally remind myself that even if that happened, I would never again be haunted by what ifs or feel that I had missed a chance at happiness. I stared into his passionate, whisky brown eyes and I felt that in this moment, I knew exactly what I wanted. It had never been clearer and the worries over what might happen afterwards faded away into nothing.

“Then I guess you’ll have to be gentle with me.” I whispered suggestively and I watched as the last of his resolve crumbled before me.

He pulled my face to his and slammed his lips against mine hungrily. The feeling was different than before as he threaded his fingers into my hair and grasped a handful of it with a frenzied tenacity. My heart pounded in my chest so fast that I worried it might explode. His tongue slipped into my mouth as he deepened the kiss and he pulled me into him so that I was pressed against his chest. I suddenly understood why people describe kissing as melting as I could feel myself becoming pliable under his touch. I could barely breathe through the heat that radiated from him and the moment was all consuming as I surrendered myself to him.

He gently pushed me backwards in a manoeuvre that was measured and careful even through the intensity of our contact and I laid back on the bed with him following eagerly, his lips never leaving mine. The feeling of his body on mine made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I felt a rush of exhilaration pass through my entire body. He sat up to slide up his t-shirt smoothly, tousling his loose curls as he pulled it over his head and threw it across the room. My eyes fell to his muscular chest in an involuntary action and I bit my lip at the sight of him. I expected him to laugh or make a comment as I continued to stare at him with what could only be an aroused delight, but by the time I dragged my gaze back to his face, he was encouraging me to sit up so that he could delicately remove my vest. I flinched at the movement, glad that he assisted me without my asking as I was unsure if I could do it myself.

It took all of my concentration to contain a hiss of pain as the vest slid over my head; I was desperate not to give him any reason to stop now. When the fabric cleared my view, I was met with his ravishing eyes as I sat bare chested before him. It felt strange to expose myself to him like this and I squirmed uncomfortably as his gaze fell onto the assortment of scars that littered my body. He looked up to notice my light rose blush and I avoided meeting his eyes. I’d had so many injuries since we arrived here that it felt like I had almost more scars than unmarked skin and I couldn’t help wondering if he was disappointed in what he found beneath my clothes. He brushed his fingers slowly along a mark that stretched the length of my collarbone and I observed him with an insecure expression, drawing his focused eyes to mine.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered and I felt my cheeks flush hot at his unexpected comment. He neared to kiss the scar with a gentleness that I never would’ve anticipated from him and my eyes fluttered closed. He slowly guided me to lay back as he worked his way across my torso, placing lingering kisses on every mark as I laid in a sultry sense of ecstasy. His lips drew a hot trail along my skin until he reached my neck, dragging out the slightly nipping kisses there in a teasing, gradual journey to meet my lips. He laid beside me, examining my face with a tempered hunger as he brushed my ruffled hair behind my ear.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked with one last assessing look. I sighed shakily as I stared into his bewitching eyes and although I was nervous, I felt safe in his arms.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything.” I breathed, earning an amorous smile from him.

I’d never imagined being ready for something like this, but intimacy with Bellamy felt as natural as breathing. He kept me too absorbed in him to be distracted by insecurity as I always feared that I would be. In fact, I was hardly able to think at all as he kept me utterly mesmerised. The experience was nothing like the movies, nor the vivid description of screaming and thrashing around that Octavia had rather traumatised me with. It was patient and gentle, it was easy and most of all, it felt like it was much more than just sex to both of us. I felt that I knew him more profoundly than I believed possible and I’d allowed him to share a vulnerable part of me that I usually tried to shield from the world. There were no fireworks, no cracked headboards, no theatricals, just the simple passion that we shared for each other forming into a bond that connected us on a deeper level than before. He rolled onto his back panting and I curled into him, setting my head on his chest to look up at him with a contented focus as he wrapped his arms around me.

“I can’t even tell you how long I’ve imagined doing that.” He admitted between wheezes and I sniggered shyly as I struggled to catch my breath too.

“You’re not the only one.” I muttered bashfully and he raised a brow at me in surprise. I avoided his prying eyes and wished that I’d kept that thought to myself. It still felt strange to openly admit my attraction to him and I was yet to develop confidence in it. It seemed foolish to be embarrassed after what had just happened between us but I was reluctant to open up to him first.

“You could’ve fooled me! You kept me guessing for a while there.” He chuckled and I couldn’t contain a giggle that escaped my lips. I met his eyes with a sentimental delight as I basked in the joy of his smile.

“I was nervous to put myself out there, I didn’t know if you were just messing with me.” I confessed as I watched him scoff in response.

“I thought I’d made my interest pretty clear.” He sighed as he leaned forward to gently kiss my forehead and I felt butterflies in my chest as his lips brushed the tip of my scar without any notice.

“I guess it took some reflection time to change my perspective.” I commented as I stared up at him. Although I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be in this moment, tangled in the covers with him, there was still a feeling of disbelief as I stared into his relaxed face. There seemed to be a delay in my heart understanding that he was back seemingly from the dead and every time that this fact struck me again I experienced a fresh wave of appreciation for his presence. “Everything got clearer once I thought you were gone.” I whispered with a hint of sadness in my voice. He sighed deeply as he pondered me and I noticed that his expression became reflective.

“Yeah, I get that.” He admitted as he carefully pushed my hair behind my ear and settled his hand on my cheek. He stared into my eyes with an intensity that stunned me. “I searched everywhere for you.” He revealed and I felt myself take a sharp breath at the emotion in his voice. “I thought the grounders had taken you, I was ready to take on the entire army.” He described and I smiled, not doubting his statement at all. “It was torture, not knowing what had happened to you. By the time we found Clarke and she told us that you were in Mount Weather, it was a struggle to wait for them to get a plan together. I just wanted to get you back.” He blurted as he stroked my face with a mesmerised smile. I felt like I was in a dream, like the words falling from his swollen, over-kissed lips couldn’t possibly be for me. “You have no idea how hard it was to stay in control in that Mountain, every part of the plan went wrong and I couldn’t find you anywhere.” He aired his thoughts without any hesitation and my heart warmed at his honesty.

“I have a pretty good idea.” I drawled as I explored the finer details of his face. I studied him like he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. His radiant skin was warm even in the low light of the room and I reached up to brush his charming natural curls out of his face. I continued to adore the freckles that decorated his complexion and it struck me that they were a treasured reminder of my mother. He considered me with a sparkle in his perfect eyes as I lost myself in him. He smiled tenderly as my attention fell to his lips and I brushed my fingers across the slight scar that framed them, wondering what the story was behind it. I couldn’t get past my need to observe him, to confirm that he was here and I felt as if I should make the most of every moment after the pain of the last few weeks. I met his eyes and prepared myself to meet his honesty with my own.

“I really believed that you were dead. You, Octavia, Raven and so many others. I woke up in that mountain with the knowledge that my entire family was gone. I grieved for you and I had to try to continue with the regret.” I admitted. I watched his brows furrow and concern crept into the corners of his eyes. “I focused on protecting the people that were left and I was lucky to have Monty and Jasper to keep that focus alive. I would love to say that I held it together without you, that I stepped up to lead them in your place like everyone keeps saying that I did but the truth is, I don’t think I would even be alive right now if there hadn’t been a threat to distract me.” I divulged as I allowed my emotions to speak for themselves.

He wrapped his fingers delicately around my wrist as he turned it slightly toward his face and I couldn’t meet his eyes. It was difficult for me to even consider reliving the moments that led me to these scars, even with him and I squirmed in discomfort as I felt him inspecting me. I startled at the sudden sensation of his lips placing a featherlight kiss on the tender skin of my wrist and I peeked at him through guilty eyes.

“Never again.” He declared as he held my gaze and I squinted at him in confusion. “I know that you thought we were all gone, but this can’t ever happen again. Do you understand me?” He confirmed with a firm tone to his voice and his gaze was filled with intensity as he assessed me. I nodded back through a gathering of unspent tears. “You can’t give up Indie, no matter what happens in the future you have to keep fighting. Promise me that you will.” He insisted and it became much harder to contain my emotions.

“I promise.” I responded in a small voice as a single tear rolled down my cheek and he brushed it away. He gathered me into him, wrapping his arms tightly around me and I breathed him in. He placed a comforting kiss on my forehead, smoothing my hair and I felt a flutter in my chest.

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed of them. They’re like the others, something that you survived. You don’t have to hide them.” He advised as he ran his thumb along one of the scars on my wrist and I smiled at his perspective.

I drifted into the most restful sleep that I’d ever experienced, wrapped in the incomparable safety of his arms. For the first time in weeks, it was dreamless and I wasn’t haunted by anything. My brain couldn’t even create any pleasant dreams that would trump my reality and so instead I was able to switch off completely.

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purple-spring · 5 years ago

Note

Regarding the sharing of video. I had one doubt and don't mean to sound insensitive. Vanessa and few other poc were telling that when we share that video it shows how horrifying it is and that brings people to change while others were telling not to share. What should I do. I want to share on my social but not sure how

Thank you so much for this thoughtful question. This is a really good question, and I turn to some external resources to help frame it. In this thread (a very worthy read), Izetta Autumn Mobley helpfully explains what the sharing of an image can and can’t do: “If the display of black people in pain was enough to end racism, haven’t we at long last seen enough? And if not, why not? How many images of black people’s deaths do we need? How many exactly?”

I don’t think Izetta means to condemn anyone, but I think what she’s pointing out is that the collective trauma of a community needs to be weighed up and balanced with that community’s need for justice. What outcome do we want? What outcomes have already been achieved (we know, for example, that the four police officers in question have already been stood down)? What outcome will sharing this photo contribute to? Is it more dignifying to show these images in order to honour Floyd’s death with justice, or to leave his last moments unseen so that he’s not just another name under the BLM hashtag? In sharing the image, what are we circulating, what are we upholding?

These are not easy questions for an ally. But if I can speak from the perspective of a POC, these are very, very hard images to look at (even harder when I weigh up the fact that one of the four police officers was, like me, Asian - a Hmong man, and in recognising that I have to deal with the ways in which members of my own community are complicit with acts of white supremacy). So, I would say, where possible, give trigger warnings that people can blacklist. Crop the image so that Mr. Floyd’s last moments are respected. And then, if I may gently suggest, go a step further in action. Make a donation, read some literature, connect with an activist, join a local protest. I think that’s where the real justice begins to happen.

I hope that’s helpful.

#poc #george floyd #blm

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mymelodyheart · 4 years ago

Text

Starting Over Chapter 24 ~The Heart of the Moment~

"Jamie! Wake up!"

Jamie jolted awake, his sleepy eyes colliding with hers. Momentarily confuse and bewildered, his brows knitted together, probably taking in her morning wild hair appearance. She wouldn't be surprised if she'd shocked him into a heart attack. It wasn't her best look, as Frank had often enough pointed out in the past, but she didn't care. Claire cared more about telling Jamie about the award he'd missed. Surely, he should've known he had been nominated for the award. How could this have happened? His moment of glory gone because they've decided to leave the awards early last night.

Jamie adjusted his focus, and as he gradually lowered his eyes to her naked breasts, a slow, slumberous smile began to spread across his handsome face. He looked so soft and boyish in the morning sunlight streaming in from the window, making his eyes almost translucent. Damn! Her heart skipped a beat, and her mouth went dry, already forgetting what she wanted to tell him. His hair, wild and unruly, was lazily mussed and intertwined into beautiful coppery chaos reminding her of burnt orange sunset over Cullen Bay. Before she could utter a word, he suddenly yanked her against him.

"Jamie ..." she protested, her voice sounding whiney to her ears. She barely had time to register what he was about to do next when she was suddenly pushed onto her back and her wrists pinned above her head. He settled between her legs, making her aware of their nakedness and his impressive erection. "Jamie, we don't have time for this. We need to ..."

"Good morning," he whispered, bracing himself on his elbows and nudging his nose onto hers.

She twisted in his hold. "Good morning to you too, but let me up first and let me get my phone. I have to show you something."

"No!"

"Jamie!"

"Sassenach," he said, in a warning tone. "This is not up for discussion, especially at this time of the morning. I've been looking forward to this weekend, and we have naewhere to go to. I'm no' letting ye out of this bed anytime soon. Ye can either get on board with that, or I'm going to have to subdue ye. Understood?"

"Jamie ...you don't understand. The news ...I was just reading ..."

"I dinnae care about the news." He lowered his face, his lips brushing hers. "I ken already we'd be on the papers after last night. Ye shouldnae be reading it. I'm already expecting a lot of speculations from those reporters because they didnae get an interview from us."

Jamie's phone rang from the bedside table.

"You better get that. It's probably about the award you ..."

Ignoring his phone, he growled and shoved his face into her neck, and she wriggled and laughed as he nipped and bit at the sensitive skin. When she continued to struggle, he laid his full weight against her to keep her still.

"Yield," he ordered into her ears.

"Never in your life!" She tried to buck him off, but it was an impossibility. With all those hard muscles and his height, he weighed a ton. She huffed in defeat and went still. "Fine. You win."

"Good lass." He gave her a self-satisfied smile before rolling off and pulling her back into the cage of his arms. One hand slid down her back and slapped her bum. "On a related note, how suspicious do ye think everyone would be if we both turn off our phones, sneak out of Glasgow and fly to Paris?"

She smiled. "Very. But it might be worth it to avoid all the questions that are about to come your way. But imagine all the speculations you'll stir if we go missing, not to mention how worried your family or my uncle would be."

He closed his eyes and held her tighter. "Och aye? What speculation do ye think the reporters will come up with this time?"

She lightly ran a finger over his shoulder and watched in fascination as goosebumps appeared on his skin. "They'll probably think we've eloped," she whispered. Realising what she just said, her eyes widened. Oh, fiddlesticks! Claire hadn't meant to say that, but it just came out of the blue. With Frank, she always had to be careful what came out of her mouth, but with Jamie, it was so easy to speak her mind.

He cracked one eye open and grinned. "Now there's a thought."

She'd half expected Jamie to jump out of bed, after that comment she made, but surprise, surprise, he didn't. "It was a joke!" she grumbled, annoyed with her slip-up.

"Jokes often have hidden meaning."

"Not this one!"

"How come ye're blushing then?"

"It's warm, and you won't let me go!"

Jamie chuckled. "Ye want to marry me," he teased.

"No, I don't!"

He arched an eyebrow, his lips twitching in amusement. "Ye don't?"

"Nope!"

"Ye'd be the first then."

Arrogant bastard! She slapped his arm and tried to wriggle out of his hold once more. "Jamie, enough of this silliness and let me up. You have to read the news. You're never going to believe this ..."

He looked down at her and seized her chin. "Stubborn woman, what shall I do about ye, huh?" he murmured, against her lips. When she continued to struggle, he lowered his head and kissed her softly, deep and languorous until she softened in his arms and the world fell away. When they finally drew apart, she was breathless, and he was smiling. "So ...now that I've had my morning kiss ..." he whispered, in between teasing her with his lips and tongue, "...what is it ye so badly want to tell me? Mind, whatever the press wrote, I wouldnae be surprised. Nothing shocks me anymore with those lot."

Claire took a deep breath and put a hand on his chest to stop him from distracting her any further. "You won an award last night, and we left before they could present it to you," she blurted out really fast, in case he interrupted her again mid-sentence.

He frowned and went quiet.

"Jamie?" She palmed his cheeks, relishing the feel of his stubbles against her hand.

He sighed, flopping onto his back and pulling her into him. "That's impossible, Sassenach. There were only eight awards. By the time we left, seven had been already announced, and the final award couldnae have been for me. I havenae played rugby for over a year. There must have been some kind of mistake or misunderstanding. That Quincy bloke did go over the top when he called me up on stage to present the award like I was the one receiving it."

She grinned. "You really have no idea how special you are. There were two more awards announced after we left. And the very last one was for you. And it was Prince Harry who announced and presented it." Before he could tighten his hold on her, she scrambled away and grabbed her phone from the foot of the bed. She swiped the screen and opened the link Geillis had sent her. "Here, read this."

Sitting up and leaning back against the headboard, Jamie took the phone from her hand and read the headline. Claire watched the confusion unfold on his face. "B-but there's nae such award ..." he muttered.

Claire snuggled closer to his side and looked at the screen of her phone with him. "Ssshh! Just read it!"

JAMES FRASER DISAPPEARED WITH RUMOURED GIRLFRIEND BEFORE HE WAS ANNOUNCED BBC SPORTS PERSONALITY OF THE DECADE

Scotland's former rugby union star and captain, James Fraser rode a wave of public support to become the BBC's Sports Personality of the Decade, the first award of its kind to be presented by BBC.

Fraser has been shortlisted several times for BBC Sports Personality of the Year since the beginning of his career and came second of the public vote two years in a row before he was forced into retirement due to a sporting injury. When it was announced in the press Fraser was bowing out of rugby union, his fans united behind the sports star by garnering more than 70,000 signed petition sent to BBC requesting to acknowledge his dedication and contribution to sports.

The petitions didn't only come from fans but from various sports foundations supporting youth around the UK and social media platforms with the popular hashtag #scrumitlikefraser. It was only recently reported that Fraser, over the years, often donated a considerable amount of money and offered his time to give a speech of encouragement to underprivileged youths without any press coverage. Fraser's charitable works were never made public as he'd requested in return for his time and money, reports of his activities on social media were to be prohibited, essentially not wanting to draw news outlets' attention to himself.

A spokesperson for the BBC revealed, the 29-year-old received endorsements from several big names in sports who knew about his aid work despite him not having played rugby for over a year. Jonny Wilkinson, a former English rugby union player and a 2003 winner of the BBC award, amongst others on social media, helped to rally the vote and the fans' petition, surpassing the public vote on Mo Farrah, this year's BBC Sport's Personality of the Year winner.

After Prince Harry gave a passionate motivational speech to end the evening's sports event, he surprised the audience by revealing the new category to the award and announcing Fraser as the winner. Unfortunately, the former rugby union star had already left after presenting an award himself earlier that evening. Realising Fraser wasn't there to claim his trophy, the young prince grinned for the camera, and gave his parting words, "James Fraser, wherever you are, congratulations, and I hope you're enjoying your win."

Jamie dropped her phone on the mattress after he was done reading the news article and let out a long whistle.

"Well?" Claire breathed. "What do you have to say about that?"

He gave her a lopsided smile as he settled her at the crook of his arm. "Weel, upside to leaving early, I didnae have to do tedious interviews. Might as well, as the reporters would have been more interested in asking who ye are than about my win."

"That's probably true. But what I was trying to point out was, you have real fans out there who admire you for your achievements in sports and charity, and they're the ones who pushed BBC to recognise that. Those fans knew the real you. I had no idea you were helping some sports foundation. I bet the news outlets hadn't a clue as well. They're more intent on digging stories about your private life than concentrating on your contribution to society."

He stroked her hair. "It doesnae matter, Sassenach. That's the nature of being a public figure. I will release a statement later on Twitter thanking the fans and BBC, but I will not be doing any interviews. I will no' have much to say to the press anyway, other than what I will write on social media."

She slid her arm across his waist and laid her head on his chest. "You're amazing, you know that? That's why I love you."

As soon as she said those words, he tipped her chin, his face a moving range of emotions. "A lot of people say that to me every day - people who don't even know me. But ye ... ye're the one person I crave to hear it from. I wouldnae mind if ye say it more often." He cupped her face and stared into her eyes. "I used to think that I'm no' meant for a relationship like Jen and Ian or my ma and da. But I have a feeling that fate brought us together. Because of all the people who had to be there as ye were trying to jump out of the church window on yer wedding day, it had to be me. I sort of knew it already that day ye kissed me in Lallybroch, but ye were too bloody stubborn to recognise it, and ye had to run away. But I'm glad I found ye again."

He kissed her and pushed her onto her back, covering her body with his. When Jamie was like this, it was almost too hard to handle. There were so much strength and vulnerability wrapped around his sweet heart, she wanted to weep.

"You do say the sweetest things, Mr Fraser," she whispered, feeling breathless. "Keep it up, and I'll never be able to resist you."

"Mmmm ..." He dragged his lips along her jawline and pressed his erection between her legs. "So does that mean if I asked ye to live with me when we get back to Edinburgh, ye'll say yes?"

She laughed, lifting her hips and urging him forward. "How about we start off with sleep-overs at each other's places and take it from there?"

"Sounds fair," Jamie replied, his voice sounding tight. He let out a quiet moan as he slid inside her before going still. "Does that mean I get a key to yer wee cottage too? It does need a lot of repairs, like yer wonky curtain rail and a missing hinge in yer kitchen cupboard."

He began to move, slow and restrained, and she breathed in time with his thrusts. "A-an excellent deal ...a key for repairing bits and bobs around the house. I definitely can't turn that down."

He leaned in to kiss her. "And I can cook too." He closed his eyes and muttered a curse when she grabbed his buttocks and pressed him deeper against her. "And make mean pasta sauce ..."

"And you talk too much." She gripped his hair and pulled him for another kiss to shut him up. They made long, sweet love all morning. It was one of those moments where everything else other than him retreated into the background, and he came into perfect focus - beautiful, hopeful Jamie. Even though she knew they have to sort through a few messes along the way to make their relationship work, she was convinced more than ever Jamie was here for the long haul.

..........

The following weekend, they all piled out of two taxis and stood outside Lulu Nightclub at George Street. They as in, all the Fraser siblings, Ian, Geillis and a handful of Joe's friends from work. They've just had a lovely dinner celebrating Joe's birthday at Bodega, a laidback Mexican restaurant in the busy port district of Edinburgh, Leith. With the night still young and Margaritas humming in their veins, they all decided to extend Joe's birthday celebration at a club.

There was already a throng of people waiting to get in by the time they arrived at their destination. With everyone in their own party loud and buzzing with excitement, it didn't take long before they caught the attention of a handful of clubbers and Jamie was recognised. Despite the unwanted attention, being a minor celebrity also came with handy perks.

The moment the bouncer saw Jamie, they were all quickly ushered in before they could be swarmed. It may have been unfair to those who had been waiting in the queue, but chaos was instantly prevented.

Taking Claire's hand in his, Jamie put his other hand at the small of her back and guided her through the club, the rest of the group not far behind. They were approached by a smiling beautiful blonde who ignored her and had eyes only for Jamie. By now, Claire was used to it.

"Good evening, Mr Fraser. What a surprise! My name is Morag, and I'm here to take care of yer needs," the blonde cooed, fluttering her eyelashes seductively. It seemed the security had been quick to alert the staff of their arrival and blondie looked thrilled to be assigned as their hostess.

Claire tamped down the urge to roll her eyes as Morag continued to openly flirt. As if reading her mind, Jamie curled his arm around her waist and pulled her in. "We're a party of twelve. If we can have a private room or an area with some privacy, that would be grand," he replied.

Giving Claire a dismissive glance, Morag kept the smile plastered on her face. "Very well, if ye can all follow me, this way please," she said before turning to lead the way.

Although the flashing lights were distracting, Claire noticed the gold velvets, cut glass lighting and state of the art, backlit wall. In as much as she appreciated the decor, she wasn't used to nightclubs and had always favoured pubs to over-priced establishments. R&B music blasted through the speakers, as gyrating bodies jammed the dancefloor and staff shimmied in and out of the crowd.

By the time they all made it to their private room, she relaxed a bit and sat at one of the high tables, while the rest of the group plonked down at the plush sofas. She was surprised it wasn't cut off from the rest of the club. There was a glass wall that gave you a perfect view of the dancefloor. She wondered if people from the outside could see them.

"There is a bouncer right outside, and ye'll have yer own bartender to prepare ye whatever you want from the bar," Morag explained. "The champagne we've placed on the table is on the house. If there is anything else ye need, just ask the bar staff or ask for me."

Jamie thanked Morag and turned his attention to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Happy?" he murmured next to her ear. She turned her head and felt his lips tipped up into a smile against her neck.

"I'm happy when I'm with you," she replied, feeling the music working its way into her bloodstream. "But this place is so posh. The drinks must cost an arm and a leg."

He pulled her against him, resting her head on his chest as she watched the dancers on the dancefloor. "It's a one-off, Sassenach. We're not only celebrating Joe's birthday, but we're also celebrating the end of yer temp job."

"And your award from last week," she added, smiling. "But I'm officially unemployed. Again!"

"About that," he started, linking their hands together and pressing kisses at the side of her neck. "I'm going to see my lawyer, Ned first thing Monday morning. There's a possibility ye could go back to the Royal Infirmary to finish yer residency."

"But Frank ..."

"I ken," he said, tightening his hold around her. "We'll see what Ned says and take it from there. There are other hospitals where ye can apply for yer residency program. All I know so far, Frank is suspended and still under investigation by the board."

"Good." She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but she couldn't help the shudder that coasted down her back.

"I won't let anything harm ye, ye know that don't ye?" he murmured.

"I know," she sighed.

Geillis suddenly appeared in front of them, breaking their connection. "I was gonnae say, get a room, but I want my friend, Jamie. Ye've been hogging her all week."

Jamie laughed out loud. "By all means," he said, unlinking their hands and hesitantly stepping away. "As long as ye both dinnae get into too much trouble." He turned to Claire and gave her a brief kiss. "I'll be with the lads."

"I'll join you later. I feel like trying the dancefloor..." Claire trailed off as Geillis started to pull her away from Jamie and tug her out of their private party room.

"C'mon lass, let's go to the main bar. It's the only way I'll find my own Jamie," she shouted over the loud music.

Claire rolled her eyes. "Fine, but it's my treat."

"Suit yersel'," Geillis grinned. "Yer the one with a millionaire boyfriend."

Claire glanced back at their glassed private room as they walked further away to the main bar. Although it was dimmed, Jamie and the rest of the group were still visible to the outsiders. She could only hope no one would notice Jamie and that the bouncer would be enough to keep any lurkers at bay.

The main bar was crowded, but they were served swiftly enough. After getting two Dirty Martinis, they settled on the barstools and turned their attention to the dancefloor.

"We'll dance in a bit, aye?" Geillis chirped.

Claire was only half-listening as she saw a familiar figure on the other end of the bar. "Oh fuck," Claire muttered. With so many bodies moving about, she wasn't quite sure if he was with someone.

"What? What is it, hen?" Geillis craned her neck forward and tried to follow the direction of her gaze.

"Jamie's ex-agent," Claire shouted to her friend's ear.

"What? Where? That hot blond there?"

Claire nodded. "Don't go near him, Geillis. He might be easy on the eyes, but he's a rat!"

Geillis took a sip of her drink and slumped. "Ah, bloody hell! All the good looking guys are either taken, a rat or gay."

Claire waggled her eyebrows. "Willie is single," she suggested.

"Not my type," Geillis grumbled. "I like 'em dirty blonde."

"You like them dirty, period," Claire laughed, turning sideways to face Geillis so that Forbes wouldn't see her. She was about to take another sip of her drink when her phone started to vibrate in her purse. Holding up a finger to her friend, she answered her phone and began to move towards the main entrance. "Mrs Crook? Sorry, give me a sec. I'm in a club, and I'm just heading out."

Geillis followed her outside. When they finally faced each other, her friend's brows drew together, giving her a questioning look.

Claire listened to her uncle's neighbour, who she only knew as Mrs Crook. The elderly lady rambled about her uncle collapsing outside of his apartment and being taken to the hospital.

"What? Which hospital?"

"At the Royal Infirmary, dear. Please hurry. I dinnae ken what's wrong, but he was complaining about a pain in his chest. The ambulance has whisked him away."

Claire tried not to panic, as she took huge calming breaths. "Thank you, Mrs Crook. I'll head immediately to the A&E ..." Without warning the battery on Claire's phone suddenly died. Ah, bloody hell! Just what I needed.

Claire looked at Geillis. "I have to go. My uncle was taken to the hospital. Please tell Jamie I'm heading to the Royal Infirmary. I can't call him. My phone battery is dead."

"No fucking way ye're going alone. Frank could be there. I'm coming with ye. I'll call Joe to tell Jamie where we're going."

Claire didn't bother explaining to Geillis that Frank was suspended from work, too worried and numb to think of anything else. Uncle Lamb was her only family, and she hoped and prayed she wasn't too late.

Geillis hailed a taxi, quickly hopped right in and before long, they were heading to her former workplace.

#melodyheart #startingover #Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser #outlanderfanfic

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marvelousbirthdays · 6 years ago

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Happy Birthday, shiper-of-many-ships

October 28-a Thruce (Thor/Bruce) ship please, with some fluff. Maybe you can do it as an A/B/O with Alpha Thor and Omega Bruce trying for a baby even though they have a slim chance because of Bruce’s gamma radiation but, Bruce does get pregnant and tells Thor in some cute way and everyone is happy! Then the baby is born and it’s a girl, for @shiper-of-many-ships

Written by @celiaequus

Bruce knew that Thor wanted to be a father. He desperately wanted a child as well, but he was well aware that ordinary pregnancy wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. The gamma radiation made it impossible. Irradiated eggs couldn’t be fertilised.

And yet… his heat had come. Thor had knotted him. And now Bruce was starting to nest.

At least Asgardians didn’t nest. That was a human thing. Thor loved pillow forts, ever since Clint introduced him to the concept, so he pitched in to help, utterly unawards. Bruce bit back the instinct to tell him to go away and leave it to Bruce, that his Alpha wasn’t supposed to touch the nest until it was ready.

Should he take a pregnancy test? Did he really want to face the inevitable disappointment?

He wanted this to be real.

Clearly the Hulk was a great cure for morning sickness, because two months passed before Bruce had the courage to draw his own blood to do a definitive test.

...Positive.

Bruce sat on a lab stool, tears pooling in his eyes. He wiped them away. Swallowed the lump in his throat. Stood up. Cleaned the area and threw the materials and sample into the nuclear waste disposal.

Then he went to the room he shared with Thor. His mate was out, showing his friends around New York. Bruce curled up on the bed, first on his left side, then his right. Then he sat up.

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, Dr. Banner.”

“I need you to keep this secret. Thor should know first.”

“Of course, Dr. Banner. How will you tell him the good news?”

Bruce fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

“I… I think I have an idea,” he said.

***

Thor returned with Hogun and Volstagg in the evening. Fandral and Sif had elected to stay out and try to drink each other ‘under the table’, as Bruce would put it.

But where was his soulmate? Not in the common area, where he left his friends to chat with Tony, Natasha, and Happy. Not in any of the labs.

“Dr. Banner is waiting for you in your suite, Prince Thor,” JARVIS offered.

“Ah! Thank you, JARVIS.”

Thor grinned as he wondered what Bruce had in mind, if he was - as JARVIS said - waiting for his mate. He had a bounce in his step as he jogged up the stairs. It was a good way to warm up his muscles for whatever Bruce had planned.

When he reached their suite, he hung Mjolnir on the coat rack and called out.

“I’m here,” Bruce said, emerging from the bedroom. Dressed, and holding a box with a bow on top. He held it out. “I got you a present. It’s amazing how fast people are willing to deliver stuff to Stark Tower. Avengers Tower,” he quickly corrected. “I hope you like it.”

“I will love whatever it is,” Thor said, stroking Bruce’s hair. “As it came from you.”

Bruce ducked his head in that bashful way of his. There was redness around his eyes. Had he been crying? Yet he seemed cheerful enough. And he was vibrating with anticipation as Thor opened the box.

A shirt. Yes, he sometimes tore his shirt off in his impatience to get Bruce undressed, so this was not unusual. But Bruce had never made such a presentation out of it before. Why now…

Oh.

Thor’s eyes began to overflow as he took in the words on the front: I’M GOING TO BE A DADDY! He placed it back in the box, pulled off his current shirt - careful not to tear it - and then pulled on the new one. It only just fit, still clinging to some of his muscles. Bruce smiled tearily.

“So you’re happy about it?” he asked in a raspy voice. Now Thor understood why he had been crying earlier, his own tears cascading down his face and into his beard.

“Yes,” he said. His voice shook. “You are… you really are pregnant?”

“Two months along, yeah,” Bruce said, nodding.

Thor gently cupped his face and gave him a kiss.

“May I wear this shirt everywhere?” he asked. “To dinner with the others tonight? We are having pizza, but I’ll be sure not to spill any sauce on this, I promise.”

“It is washable, Thor.”

“It is precious,” he hissed. “Just as you are, and our baby.” A sob escaped his throat, but he didn’t care. “Parents, Bruce. I hoped, but I didn’t say anything, in case I hurt you.”

“Well, you’re stuck with both of us now,” Bruce said, with a small laugh. Then he became serious. “Don’t let me become like my father.”

“You would never be like him,” Thor said firmly. “Come with me. We must not dwell on the past. We have a future to celebrate. Come, to the common area! And I will abstain from drinking for the duration of the pregnancy. And perhaps afterwards, if the thought of alcohol… makes you uneasy.”

“You’re so sweet.” He leaned up and kissed Thor. “But you’re nothing like my father. Our child doesn’t have anything to fear from you.”

Thor kissed him one more time, with more urgency, and then the two of them ventured to the common area. Thor kept gazing at his mate, and wouldn’t stop touching him. What a miracle this was. A smart and gentle mate, who was now providing him with an heir. There was nothing more he could want.

“Guess what, friends!” he boomed, walking beside Bruce into the common room. He spread his arms to make sure that the brightly-coloured words were easy to read.

***

Once Thor understood nests, he apologised for the misunderstanding and allowed Bruce to hoard whatever he needed. He even requested an item of clothing from Loki, which the child’s uncle was surprised but happy to provide. Odin and Frigga also donated clothing to the cause, as did the rest of the Avengers.

The months seemed to drag at times; then Bruce would reach another milestone in the pregnancy, and it would feel like time was flying by.

No one could deny that he was beyond ready to give birth, though. At least he had his own medical knowledge, and Tony agreed to be ready in case another genius was required.

Otherwise, it was just him in his nest, Thor beside the nest, and JARVIS ready with whatever information might be needed at a moment’s notice.

The Hulk almost appeared every ten minutes or so, trying to deal with the pain of labour, and Bruce’s blood pressure skyrocketed every time. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, and wanted it to be over. But what if it never happened again? What if something went wrong?

“You are nearly there,” Thor said soothingly, even though the baby hadn’t crowned yet.

“Shut up and hold my hand,” Bruce growled, fracturing several of the bones in Thor’s left wrist. To his credit, the Alpha didn’t wince. Only in sympathy, as Bruce whined from another painful contraction.

Eventually he gave up. He gave the Hulk permission to emerge. With the extra strength and larger size, it was immediately easier to push the baby out, and Thor pulled away to catch her. Recognising an emotional moment, the Hulk retreated again, and Bruce flopped back onto the cushions, exhausted and sweating. Thor cradled the baby in one arm while Tony ventured in. He kept as much distance as he could while he cut the umbilical cord, and then left again, promising to spread the word.

Thor cleaned the baby, and then presented it to Bruce.

“A girl,” Bruce said tiredly. “I hope… that’s okay.”

“A future queen,” Thor said. He wrapped her in a clean blanket.

“What should we name her?”

“We will discuss it once you are rested,” Thor said. “Sleep for now, and we will name her when you are awake.”

Bruce nodded, his head drooping, and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows. Thor lay down beside him, the infant in his arms, and beamed with pride.

#Thruce #Thor Odinson #Bruce Banner #abo universe #fluff

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the-observant-frisbeetarian · 6 years ago

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Chapter 5

Bésame Mucho by George deValier

Winter, 1943 A village in Italy

"You are back in town, Spaniard."

Antonio felt a wave of sick, cold fear roll through his gut. He glanced up sharply, then let out a short sigh of relief. The Turk stared down at him reflectively, that familiar smirk on his lips, that customary red fez perched on his head. He looked pointedly at the chair opposite, and Antonio gave a quick nod.

"So." The Turk sat heavily, leaning back easily in the chair. "We're gonna make this quick. Not a good idea for me to be seen here, you know."

Antonio nodded and took a long sip of wine to calm his nerves. This constant anxiety was starting to wear on him. The unfamiliar feeling was far too common these days, now that too many people in this small village knew his face. "I understand. Though you realise it is far more dangerous for me to be seen at the Cantina Rosso, my friend." Antonio replaced his wine on the table then offered to pour a glass for the Turk, who, as always, shook his head.

"Why else would I trudge to this side of town?" The Turk glanced disdainfully around the nearly empty front room of the Cantina Verde. "I always did prefer red to green."

Antonio raised an eyebrow. "Really? And here I thought your favourite was gold." He tossed a small, rattling bag on the table. The Turk quickly inspected the contents before putting the bag in his pocket.

"You see, this is why I like working with you, Spaniard." The Turk grinned. "You understand the absurdity of paper notes."

Antonio laughed softly. It was so easy to work with people whose only loyalty was to money. Easy but dangerous, considering the amount the Germans were willing to pay to get their hands on Antonio. "The lira is worthless right now. I'd never insult you with it." He leant forward slightly, a tiny, shrewd smile on his lips. "Don't forget that."

The Turk seemed to understand. "I'd be a fool to turn you over to the Germans. Why work for one side when you can work for both?" He shrugged, as though to suggest the absurdity of the suggestion. "But, to business. With the nearby German airbase, it was only a matter of time before the Americans joined our little party. Here." The Turk pulled a thick bundle of string-tied paper from his jacket, placed it on the table, and pushed it towards Antonio. "Transcripts of orders from top American Air Force personnel and maps of projected landing sites. The Americans are going to want to cause as much damage as possible while they have the element of surprise."

"Of course," muttered Antonio, briefly flicking through the papers. "This is what I've been trying to obtain information on..." An American air fighter unit currently based in London, a projected landing south at Anzio… yes, this was just the material he needed to pass on to Roma. Antonio had worked tirelessly on this one mission for weeks - after all, he needed a reason to return to this village. "Now, we know the Americans are landing soon, but we need a way for them to destroy the German airbase and its most dangerous personnel in one swoop."

"Leave that to me, my friend." Antonio glanced up from the papers and the Turk grinned deviously. "I'll find something out. And the moment I do, I'll inform you."

Antonio narrowed his eyes in a brief moment of suspicion. "You wouldn't give the Germans this information, would you?"

The Turk leant back and laughed wildly. "And lose your regular gold donations? Did I not just say that would be foolish? No, Spaniard, you would do well to forget such suspicions. I do suggest, however, that you send someone other than yourself to meet me next time. Someone… innocent looking. You are far too recognisable in these parts nowadays." A calculating gleam appeared in his eyes. "I have to wonder why you return insistently to this one little village when the danger is so great for you."

Antonio shrugged nonchalantly. "I am recognised in many places. My work is as important here as anywhere." But the Turk was right. It was too dangerous for Antonio to be in this village, he knew that. And yet the longer this war drew on and the greater the danger became, the more Antonio felt himself drawn here. To the one place and the one person that mattered.

The Turk did not look convinced. "Some would say you are needed more in the south these days. Roma Vargas runs the resistance in this town as though it were an army unit. He does not require your constant assistance."

"Roma is always grateful for my assistance," said Antonio curtly, eager to drop this line of conversation. He folded the papers and placed them in his bag. "And I am sure he will be grateful for this information."

The Turk nodded, though there remained a knowing, faintly amused look in his eye. "Be careful on your way out of town. There are German patrols on the roads lately."

Antonio did not worry about that. He knew the back roads by now – he knew his way to Lovino's farmhouse. "I will be in town until the landings. I doubt, however, we will meet again." He stood quickly, excitement building in his chest when he finally allowed himself to think of where he was heading. There was no point denying it. Lovino was the real reason Antonio was here; Lovino was the reason he was risking everything. As he headed quickly for the door, Antonio barely heard the Turk speak behind him.

"Good luck, Spaniard."

Lovino slammed the bag of flour onto the kitchen bench and spun around to face Feliciano. His silly brother let out a tiny squeak and took a step backwards. Lovino scowled. "What is that irritating tune you've been humming all afternoon?"

Feliciano just scratched his head with that dim, blank look of his. "Huh? Oh." He shrugged. "It's not irritating, it's pretty." Then he continued humming it as he cheerfully filled the fruit bowl with tomatoes.

Lovino nearly growled in annoyance. Feliciano had arrived late to the Resistenza meeting at the cantina, bounced in and waved like a fool, then simply sat at the back of the room playing with the wireless radio. It was unacceptable. When would Feliciano realise the seriousness of this situation? When would he stop acting like a silly little child and getting away with it? And when would he stop humming that ridiculous song? "It's stupid," said Lovino. "Stop it. Stop it now."

Feliciano pouted and whined, "But Lovino…"

"You need to take things a little more seriously, Feliciano." Lovino could not keep the frustration from his voice. He knew he was probably overreacting, but he hadn't been able to control his frustrated emotions lately. It was now almost a month since he had last seen Antonio. One month since the infuriatingly wonderful Spaniard had held Lovino close as they danced, since he had touched Lovino's tears and said he would wait forever. One lingering, unchanging month that had felt like an eternity and passed like a lifetime. Lovino still felt unworthy, still felt confused. He felt lost in the resistance, always kept from doing anything worthwhile for the cause. But above all, Lovino felt painfully lonely, and painfully sad. So now, he couldn't help feeling irrationally angry that Feliciano could act so damn happy and carefree. "You can't just spend important meetings like that sitting and singing along to the radio. This isn't a game. You need to be serious, like me and Grandpa." Lovino suddenly jumped when a hand landed heavily on his shoulder.

"What's all this I hear about being serious?" Grandpa Roma placed a bag of oranges on the bench, that same dopey grin on his face that Feliciano always wore. Lovino gritted his teeth and glared. Just what he needed - his grandfather acting stupidly cheerful as well. "Don't listen to your brother, Feliciano, he's far too serious for his own good. And you have a beautiful voice, just like your Grandpa!" Lovino tried to respond angrily, but Roma raised a hand. "Try this one…" And then the bastard started singing. Feliciano laughed, clapped joyfully, and of course, joined in. Lovino immediately put his hands over his ears.

*"La donna è mobile, Qual piuma al vento, Muta d'accento - e di pensiero."

"Grandpa, don't be ridiculous!" Lovino silently cursed Verdi, backed away from his embarrassing family, and prepared to flee. Sometimes he honestly wondered if he was related to these people… "I mean it!"

Feliciano giggled, Roma kept that stupid smile on his face, and they both raised their voices as they advanced menacingly on Lovino.

"Sempre un amabile, Leggiadro viso, In pianto o in riso, - è menzognero."

"STOP!" Seriously, did they even know how absurd they looked? Lovino looked around desperately for an escape, only to be impeded as Roma stepped in front of him and placed a cooking pot on his head. Of all things… but Lovino was not going to laugh, damn it. This was not funny, this was childish and ridiculous and… "Go away! Stop it! Leave me alone! You're both crazy and I'm leaving this family!"

"La donna è mobil'. Qual piuma al vento, muta d'accento - e di pensier!"

Lovino finally managed his getaway. He dodged around his childish brother and preposterous grandpa, charging across the kitchen as they gave chase still singing that infuriating canzone. Fighting the laughter rising in his chest, Lovino threw open the kitchen door, ran into the front room, and immediately froze. An icy hot shudder ran down his spine. The blood drained from his face, his breath stopped short, and his heart stuttered a wild, frantic convulsion in his chest. Antonio just smiled back at him from the front doorway. His green eyes sparkled in amusement; his lips held back a burst of laughter. Lovino's cheeks burned with embarrassment. He pulled the pot from his head and scowled angrily. "What are you looking at, bastard?"

"Antonio!" Roma rushed across the room, smiling joyfully, and threw his arms around Antonio warmly. "Ah, thank the good Lord! I was hoping to see you soon!"

"Greetings, Roma!" said Antonio happily. "It's good to see you!" Despite himself, Lovino felt his heart tug at his chest when he realised how tired Antonio looked. He must have been travelling far, and working hard. Lovino suddenly wondered what it would be like if he could walk over to Antonio and take the pack from his shoulder, lead him to the couch, sit beside him, hold him and kiss him and laugh with him… Lovino shook the startling, intruding image away. And he'd thought he was getting so good at ignoring his feelings.

"Antonio!" cried Feliciano, running across the room and jumping excitedly. "Did you bring me a present? Huh, huh, did you?" Antonio laughed and ruffled Feliciano's hair. Lovino folded his arms and scowled, irritated and strangely jealous.

"Of course I did, Feli! This time I have…" Antonio left a dramatic pause before reaching into the large bag slung over his shoulder and pulling out a soccer ball. Feliciano gasped loudly and snatched it from Antonio's hands.

"Yes! Perfect! I lost my last one, actually Lovino lost it, and it's been impossible to find a new one and I've actually been wanting one of these lately because…" Roma slapped Feliciano over the back of the head. "I mean, uh, thank you, Antonio!"

"You're welcome, Feliciano! And I have something special for Lovino!"

Lovino felt his bones freeze. Antonio smiled across the room brightly, enticingly, so warm and kind and good, his messy brown curls slightly too long and his deep green eyes so intense and…

"Lovino, my dear boy!" Roma's words shook Lovino from his transfixed stupor. "Stop being a rude little bastard and get over here."

Lovino remembered himself and plastered a scowl on his face, walking slowly across the room with his arms still folded. He stopped just before Antonio, so close he could touch him, so close he could smell him… Antonio reached into his bag and pulled out a small red object. He tossed it into the air, caught it, and held it out with a flourish, his eyes sparkling with that bright, familiar mischief. Lovino stared curiously at the round object in Antonio's hand.

A tomato. A tomato? The bastard had given Feliciano a soccer ball, and all he had for Lovino was a piece of fruit! After all these weeks, after everything… "A fucking tomato?" Lovino winced as Grandpa Roma smacked him over the back of the head.

"Watch your manners, young man."

Lovino almost forgot the blasted tomato. First he was caught with a pot on his head, now his grandpa chastised him like he was eight years old. Could this situation possibly get any more humiliating? Lovino rubbed his head and glared at Roma angrily. "Why would I want a stupid tomato, Feliciano bought a bag of them today."

"Don't be impolite, and take the tomato."

"I don't want the tomato!"

"Take the fucking tomato, Lovino!"

Lovino snarled and snatched the stupid tomato. However, instead of the soft fruit he expected, the small object in his hand was actually hard and smooth. Lovino felt his brow wrinkle in confusion, then glanced up quizzically at Antonio. The bastard simply winked.

Roma spread his hands apologetically. "Antonio, a thousand apologies. I love my grandsons to death but they can be such rude little shits."

Lovino's neck flushed angrily, but Antonio just laughed and clapped Roma on the back. "Please, Roma, there is nothing to apologise for. It is I who should be apologising for the delay in my arrival. The travel routes have become so difficult in the last few months."

Lovino felt apprehensive at the words. It was just as Roma had been saying in meetings lately – that the military presence around the village had been increasing, that times were growing more perilous. Again, Lovino was reminded of just how dangerous Antonio's work was. Feliciano barely seemed to notice the conversation, gazing at his soccer ball with some silly, far-off look in his eyes. Roma just waved a hand dismissively. "Of course, of course, I understand this. I expect you have information for me?"

Antonio nodded. He and Roma made their way to the large central table, spreading pages of documents from Antonio's bag across the surface. Feliciano bounced over to the couch by the staircase, tossing his ball from hand to hand, but Lovino stayed where he was. Familiar, unpleasant anxiety rolled in his stomach, rose in his chest. He had to know what this information was; had to know just how much Antonio was risking.

"Finally, I've been given information directly from the Americans," said Antonio. He passed a small pile of papers to Roma, who immediately began rifling through them.

"Landing positions," muttered Roma. "I knew that German airbase would bring trouble."

Antonio shrugged. "Of course it was only a matter of time before the Americans wanted this village. What we need now is a plan for them to bring down a large chunk of the occupying military before the inevitable battle. The Germans are spread too thin throughout Italy – they do not have the resources to send immediate support."

"Have you any plan?"

Antonio ran a hand wearily through his hair. "I have someone working on it. But Roma, more than anything else, this is vital." Antonio placed his hand over the papers and fixed Roma's eyes in an intense, solemn stare. "This information must be kept from the Germans. They absolutely must not know about the landing."

Lovino let out a long, silent breath, anxious and uneasy. He went and sat heavily on the couch beside Feliciano, turning the smooth, solid tomato over in his hands. Feliciano reached for it immediately, and Lovino snatched it out of the way.

"Lovino!" Feliciano whined childishly. "Let me see, what is it? It's not actually a tomato, is it?"

"No." Lovino carefully inspected the strange gift from Antonio. "It's hard, like it's made of glass or something." He shook it and it rattled slightly. There seemed to be something inside. Just what did Antonio mean by giving him some sort of glass puzzle? "I think you can open it, but I can't work out how."

"Oooh." Feliciano sounded fascinated. "Why did Antonio give you something terrific like that?"

Lovino scoffed. "Terrific? I don't even know what it is!" Lovino held the object to his ear and shook it again. Yes, there was definitely something inside. He burned to know what it was. Antonio and his stupid little games… didn't he know how much Lovino hated to be kept in the dark? "Stupid Spaniard. This is going to drive me crazy."

Feliciano shrugged, quickly losing interest, and focused again on his soccer ball. Lovino ran his hands gently over the glass tomato, occasionally glancing over at where Roma and Antonio poured over the table of documents. It was obvious how dangerous things were becoming for Antonio. If the Germans discovered his presence in the village, he would be captured, tortured for information… killed. It was becoming so hard for Lovino to reconcile these warring emotions. As hard as he tried, he simply could not deny how drawn he was to Antonio. He could not ignore how much he missed Antonio when he was away, how desperate he was to be with the Spaniard when he returned. Just watching the man now across the room - his face handsome and intent as he talked, his body strong and graceful as he moved - Lovino's chest ached with desire simply to touch him.

But he was still scared. He was scared, because as the months drew on, the more Antonio travelled and learnt and involved himself in confidential military matters. The more the danger against him increased; the more wanted and hunted he became. While at the same time, the more Lovino felt these walls around his heart start to crumble. And the more likely it became that he would be hurt.

It took Lovino a moment to realise he was staring at Antonio, and a further moment to realise that he was staring back. Lovino's heart flipped into his throat. But before he could think how to react, Antonio gave him a tiny smile, and winked. Lovino nearly choked. What did the stupid Spaniard think he was doing? Grandpa Roma was right there! Lovino tried to look unimpressed, rolling his eyes as he looked away. He was not going to smile. He was not going to acknowledge this warm, bright glow that swelled in his chest and tingled down his neck. He was not going to smile, damn it!

Lovino almost sighed with relief when Roma and Antonio stood from the table and traded a few more documents, their short conversation over. Lovino and Feliciano stood immediately to join them. "I will be in town for a few weeks, Roma, so I will keep you informed," said Antonio, thrusting a handful of papers messily into his bag.

Lovino's stomach jumped. A few weeks… He was both terrified and overjoyed at the thought.

Roma smiled as he answered, "Yes, yes. Please come around whenever you are free. Our home is your home, my friend."

At those words, Lovino's stomach turned in circles. Come around whenever you are free… He swallowed heavily. That would be terrible, that would be wonderful, that would be…

"Of course I will!" Antonio smiled brightly and it lit up his eyes, his face, the entire room... Lovino raised his eyes to the ceiling and let out a very long breath. Oh, he didn't think he could do this much longer. His chest ached jealously when Antonio pulled Feliciano into a hug. "Stay safe, Feli."

"Visit soon, Antonio!"

Antonio nodded, turned, and despite every desperate, aching ounce of desire in his body, Lovino took a step backwards. His heart started pounding. Not here… not now… he could not let Antonio put his arms around him, he couldn't handle this, why was Antonio leaning towards him, what was he… Lovino's pounding heart stopped when he felt Antonio's breath warm against his ear. "Still waiting, mi corazón."

Lovino fought back the breathless gasp that rose in his chest. His eyes widened and his face burned bright red. Antonio pulled back, his gaze still on Lovino, a small, delighted smile on his lips and an intense, burning look in his eyes. Their eyes remained locked until Roma quickly grabbed Antonio by the arm, steered him forcefully towards the door, and kissed his cheeks almost violently in farewell. "Until next time! Oh, and Antonio, tell me. Can you sing?"

Antonio smiled a little dazedly, his expression slightly confused. "Sing? Why?"

Roma narrowed his eyes. "Because if you look at my grandson like that again, I will castrate you."

Lovino could not believe it. He felt his face contort in pure shock. How much did Roma know? And how dare he say that to Antonio? "Grandpa!" cried Lovino, absolutely mortified. What must Antonio be thinking?

Antonio's expression turned blank until Roma burst into raucous laughter. Antonio let out a relieved sigh and laughed along.

"No, no," laughed Roma, clapping Antonio heavily on the shoulder. "But Antonio, really…" Roma immediately broke off laughing and caught Antonio's eyes in a dark glare. "I'm deadly serious."

Lovino clapped his hand to his forehead. He was caught between wanting to die of embarrassment and wanting to smash something against the wall. Feliciano just seemed to find it amusing. Antonio backed up to the door, still attempting a valiant smile. "We'll… uh. We'll speak soon, Roma."

"We will!" Roma smiled cheerfully, giving Antonio a happy wave. When Antonio's eyes met his, Lovino did not know whether to look away or try somehow to apologise. Roma, however, made a distinct slicing motion below the waist, so Antonio simply gave Lovino one last smile before rushing out the door. Lovino wondered briefly if it was actually possible to die of embarrassment. Roma just clapped his hands, spun around, and grinned widely. "So," he said merrily. "Who wants pasta for dinner?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Feliciano jumped and raced back into the kitchen.

Lovino growled in his throat as he dragged himself behind. "I'm leaving this family."

Lovino could not sleep. How could he possibly sleep tonight? His head spun with constant, infuriating thoughts of Antonio, with fear and excitement for the coming morning. It was the first time Lovino would be involved in a mission with Antonio. True, Grandpa Roma would be there also, but Lovino still could not control the jumpy, clawing, almost painful nervousness that coiled in his stomach. Since the crippling embarrassment of the previous evening, Lovino had not had the chance to speak with Antonio alone. Now that Grandpa Roma seemed to be growing suspicious, Lovino was starting to wonder if there would ever be a chance – and more importantly, if he even wanted one.

Lovino had done his best to keep Antonio from his mind in the recent weeks. He had done as he always had when trying to forget. He had focused on the resistance, trying to prove he was worthy. It even seemed to be working - Grandpa Roma had finally given Lovino his own pistol. He had thrown himself into organising, thrown himself into celebrating. He had gotten thoroughly drunk a few days earlier at an unplanned celebration in the farmhouse, only to wake the next day with a dry mouth, a pounding head, and the fuzzy, horrifying memory of dancing and singing and playing his guitar on the table. And yet still, always, constantly, Lovino thought of Antonio. Dreamt of him. Waited for him. It was impossible to forget Antonio while he was away, let alone now he was here in the village, a mere walk away. Of course Lovino could not sleep.

And so Lovino lay silently, staring at the wall, unable to hear Feliciano's breathing in the bed across the room. Feliciano had been strangely eager to head to the market today, yet he had come home with nothing but an inexplicable bar of chocolate. Lovino barely had time to consider where he got such a thing. Instead his mind was preoccupied with the memories of Antonio at the cantina today. The Resistenza members had been so happy to see him – but of course, everyone was always happy to see Antonio. Lovino had just sat on a table at the back of the room, watching as they shook Antonio's hand, as they chatted brightly, smiled happily, laughed cheerfully. Everyone liked Antonio. But how could they possibly not? And again, Lovino could not help but wonder: how could someone so damned friendly and popular as Antonio love him?

"Lovino?" Apparently, Feliciano could not sleep either.

"Hmm?"

Feliciano's voice cut straight through Lovino's scattered thoughts. "What do you think of Antonio?"

Lovino almost choked. He gasped, then immediately coughed in an attempt to hide it. He had to remind himself that Feliciano could not read his mind. Feliciano could not know Lovino's feelings for Antonio… surely… "Why on earth would you ask me that?"

"Well, don't you like him?"

Lovino snorted and tried to sound offended. "Like him? That Spanish bastard? Why the hell would I like him?"

"Well, I like him, and Grandpa does, and I just sort of thought that you did. Maybe. A little more than we do."

Lovino's pulse sped up and a tight knot of fear settled in his stomach. But no, Feliciano couldn't possibly know. Lovino had hidden his feelings too well, too completely. How could silly little Feliciano possibly see through that? "Well, I don't."

"Oh." Feliciano sounded surprised. "All right then."

Lovino waited a few moments before breathing a cautious sigh of relief. He did not know what had possessed Feliciano to start asking about this, but Lovino was going to have to be a little more careful from now on. It was bad enough that Grandpa Roma was beginning to have suspicions, but Feliciano… God, Lovino must be more obvious in his emotions than he realised!

"Lovino?"

Lovino gritted his teeth. "What?"

"Have you ever thought of telling Antonio that you… don't like him?"

Lovino's mind went blank. Feliciano knew… The blankets felt suddenly stifling as sweat rose on his neck.

"Lovino?"

"Go to sleep, Feliciano." Lovino hoped Feliciano could not hear the desperation in his voice. He breathed deeply and tried to sort out the frantic thoughts running through his head. If everyone seemed to know Lovino's feelings, what was even the point of trying to hide them anymore? After all, they weren't going away. But he knew the answer; knew the reason. Because he was still so scared of being hurt.

"Lovino?"

Lovino almost jumped. "For God's sake, Feliciano, what do you want?"

Feliciano sounded more certain this time. "You do like Antonio, and you do want to tell him, but you are worried about what might happen when you do. Not that I really blame you, because Grandpa Roma did threaten to castrate him and all, but maybe… maybe if you just explained…"

"Feliciano." Lovino spoke quietly, almost breathlessly. He thought for a moment about how to explain his emotions, his reasons. When he finally spoke, it was almost to himself. Feliciano would probably not even understand. "Sometimes we have feelings which we will never be able to express. Sometimes we have secrets that should stay that way. Sometimes…" Lovino stopped, seeing Antonio's smiling face in the darkness, and realised that he wasn't even sure he believed what he was saying. "Sometimes there are things that are just not worth the risk."

Even as he said it, Lovino knew he was lying to himself. Antonio was all that mattered; Antonio was everything. He took away Lovino's uncertainty, took away his loneliness. There was a void in Lovino that only Antonio could fill, and it was frightening just how empty Lovino was without him. Antonio reached into Lovino, into a place he didn't even know existed, and filled him with a happiness and a belonging and a brilliant joy that went beyond anything he had ever thought possible to experience. When Antonio was away, Lovino existed. It was only when he was with Antonio that Lovino actually lived.

And that was what Lovino risked. That joy, that bliss, that completion. It was what he was so scared to feel, and what he fought so hard against. Because it was what he was scared to lose. Lovino knew if he accepted it, believed it, felt it, and if he then lost it, that he could not survive.

But then he remembered that perfect feeling in Antonio's arms; the brush of Antonio's warm hand on his cheek. Remembered the hope and love in Antonio's eyes, the joy and beauty in his smile. Lovino was drawn to Antonio with every single part of his being.

It was a hard thing to realise. But if Antonio wasn't worth the risk, then nothing was.

The 'mission' was a joke. Four hours traipsing the back roads to a remote mountain posting of fighting partisans, fifteen minutes getting their news of German patrols in the area, and now Lovino trudged the road home bitterly behind Antonio and Grandpa Roma with the distinct feeling they had only brought him along to humour him. He kicked a rock on the dirt track before him, hands in his pockets, scowling to himself. He felt like a fool. What was even the point of Roma giving him a pistol if he was never going to have the chance to use it? Lovino wanted to prove himself worthy. He wanted to show everyone that, despite what they thought, he could be an important member of this resistance too. He could fight for the country he loved. And watching Antonio amble along the road before him, his curly brown hair flying in the wind and his tuneless whistle carrying on the breeze, Lovino could not deny that, more than anything, he wanted to impress this man. He wanted the brave, handsome, infuriatingly cheerful Spaniard to know that he could be brave, also. Lovino wanted to prove himself worthy of Antonio's unfathomable affections.

Lovino kicked the rock forcefully along the trail, quickly growing bored of the unchanging landscape around him. A tall, steep hill loomed over the wide country road and a gently sloping rise led down to green fields and valleys below. Lovino raised his eyes and watched as distant storm clouds massed beyond the mountains. The day had been unseasonably warm, but it was fast growing cooler as the sky began to darken. The wind was also starting to pick up, gusting briskly through the trees that bordered the road. It looked like this pleasant, sunny weather would not last much longer; perhaps there would even be a storm to break the strangely warm winter days.

Lovino grumbled to himself, wiping the sweat from his brow. This boring, pointless walk refused to end, and it felt like they'd been marching forever. When the hell would they stop? Taking a deep breath, Lovino was just about to demand a break, when a loud, sharp bang interrupted him. Lovino's heart leapt to his throat as Antonio and Roma turned quickly at the sound, both reaching for their weapons. Hurriedly, unthinking, Lovino attempted to do the same, only to catch his foot on the unsteady path and stumble. Sharp, burning pain shot through his ankle, and he cried out as he fell.

"LOVINO!" Grandpa Roma's shout was harsh with panic. But it was Antonio who reached him first, falling to his knees before Lovino could even comprehend what was happening. Antonio ran his hands over Lovino's jacket, swift and searching and confusing.

"Lovino, are you hit? Lovino? Roma, scout the direction. Lovino, answer me!"

His chest pounding and his head spinning, Lovino pushed himself upright and batted Antonio's hands away. "Will you stop it, what is your problem, it's just my…" Lovino broke off and gasped, pain searing up his leg in a sudden agonising wave. "…ANKLE, SHIT, OH SHIT!"

Antonio breathed out in relief. "Ah. Gracias a Dios."

Lovino tried to glare, though he had to blink back tears from the pain. "Thank God? It's fucking killing me you bastard, what are you oh shit no don't touch it ARGH!" Lovino felt Grandpa Roma's hand cover his mouth to cut off his scream.

"Lovino. You are all right. Let Antonio check your ankle. It looks like the sound was a snapping tree branch, but there are German patrols along this road sometimes, so you still have to be quiet. And watch your damn mouth."

Lovino scowled angrily. Roma was probably only saying that to shut him up. Surely they would not be walking this road so openly if there was any real chance of a German patrol. Regardless, Lovino nodded, and Roma removed his hand. At the same time, Antonio pulled off his boot, and Lovino had to slam his own hand over his mouth to keep from screaming. He fought to stop himself from kicking Antonio as he ran his hands gently over the tender flesh.

"It's just a sprain," said Antonio, his voice relieved. He smiled brightly at Lovino. "Nothing's broken. You can't put any weight on it, though – we'll have to go slowly."

Roma breathed out heavily. "Ah, good. But we're already running late, and after Feliciano's meeting with the informant today…"

"You can go ahead, Roma." Antonio spoke far too quickly. "I can help Lovino home."

Lovino's eyebrows shot up, his heartbeat racing into his throat. Roma looked from Antonio to Lovino and then out across the valley. He nodded reluctantly. "You know how panicked Feli can get. I had better hurry." Roma headed off immediately down the road, shouting back as he went. "Be as fast as you can, and be careful."

Antonio gave him a small wave. "Always, Roma."

Lovino almost forgot his twisted ankle. Grandpa Roma had left them alone. Lovino was alone with Antonio. Alone for the first time since that mind-spinning dance in the cantina, since that wonderful, terrible, overwhelming conversation in the alley. Lovino did not know how to handle this situation. Antonio smiled at him, bright and joyful and stunning. Lovino glared back. "I don't need your help. I can walk on my own."

Antonio looked doubtful. "If you put any pressure on that ankle it is going to swell up like an overripe tomato."

The mention of tomatoes sent Lovino's thoughts flying directly to the glass tomato sitting in his top drawer at home. His heart beat even faster, sending his heated blood directly to his cheeks. It had only been two days, but Lovino was frustrated as hell that he couldn't figure out how to open the stupid thing. What was with Antonio and these silly little games? "Well then, I'll hop."

Antonio's doubtful expression twisted in amusement. "All the way home?"

Lovino answered defiantly. "Yes."

"I can carry you." Antonio grinned widely and wagged his eyebrows.

Lovino's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, no. No you bloody well can't." He forced himself to his feet, took a determined step forward, and immediately stumbled as a wave of tearing agony shot up his leg. Antonio caught him securely by the arms.

"Oh, Lovino, you are so stubborn. For heaven's sake, let me help you." But Antonio smiled as he said it, helping Lovino hobble to a large rock by the nearby cliff face.

"Don't need your help," Lovino mumbled again, refusing to acknowledge the way Antonio's firm grip stopped the breath in his lungs and sent that familiar shiver up his spine.

"Well, you do need someone to bandage this ankle. Now sit down and just try to relax, will you? No seas tonto."

Lovino sat heavily, glaring as Antonio shoved the boot in his bag and pulled a bandage out. "Don't call me that."

Antonio giggled as he knelt and reached for Lovino's foot. "Okay. No seas tan adorable."

Lovino burned red. "Don't call me that, either!" He shifted on the hard stone, feeling an uncomfortable lump digging into his thigh. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his pointless pistol and placed it on the rock beside him.

Antonio stared at the gun, starkly black against the pale grey rock. "Did your grandpa not tell you? Never take your weapon from your side unless you intend to use it."

Lovino rolled his eyes. Did Antonio think Lovino knew nothing unless Grandpa Roma told him? "I know that! But it's only for a moment, I'll put it right back."

Antonio raised his eyebrows. "Don't forget," he said warningly.

"I'm not stupid," grumbled Lovino. Then he sighed and resigned himself to the painful, embarrassing, gentle feeling of Antonio's warm hands on his tender ankle. Lovino swallowed heavily as Antonio wrapped the long, white bandage carefully around the swelling limb. He searched for something to say, rather than just sit silently staring at Antonio's strong, tanned hands. "Today was not really a dangerous mission, was it?"

Antonio looked up with bright, green eyes though dark, wild curls. "Every mission is dangerous."

Lovino's heart thumped unevenly, so he looked away from those eyes and towards the darkening horizon. "You sound like Grandpa."

Antonio laughed, focusing again on wrapping the white cloth around Lovino's ankle. "But it is true, Lovino."

"He still won't let me go on a real mission. I wish he would stop protecting me."

Antonio shrugged. "Well, that's what you do when you love someone."

That warm touch of Antonio's fingers sent tiny, tingling shocks through Lovino's entire body. He had to admit, grudgingly, that at least it took his mind off the pain. "I can look after myself. I can handle danger."

"I know you can."

Lovino was surprised by his strong elation at Antonio's words, followed by his disappointment when Antonio pinned the bandage and dropped his hands. He very gently patted Lovino's leg to indicate he'd finished, but did not yet move to stand. Lovino peered down at him thoughtfully. "Would you choose me for one of your missions?"

Antonio leant forward slightly, his wind-blown hair falling in his eyes. "Your grandpa would kill me if I went behind his back." Lovino scoffed, but Antonio quickly continued. "But I could always use loyal help - so perhaps I will bring it up with Roma. Besides, you would always be safe with me."

Lovino's mouth practically dropped. He blinked a few times, silent and stunned. Antonio would actually suggest him for a real mission? For something important? "You're serious?" Antonio nodded. Lovino's heart seemed to soar in his chest, the pain in his ankle completely forgotten. Antonio trusted him. Antonio believed he was worthy. The feeling was oddly exhilarating. But more than that… "Why would I be safe with you?"

Antonio winked. "Because I would protect you, with my life."

Lovino reflexively tried to kick Antonio with his uninjured foot, even as his stomach flipped joyfully. "You say the most stupid things, dramatic Spaniard!"

Antonio just giggled. "But I require a promise from you, first."

Lovino folded his arms and glared. Always these stupid little games… "A promise?"

"That if we are ever in danger, you will do exactly as I say."

Lovino regarded Antonio carefully through narrowed eyes. He had made that promise once before. "Fine," he mumbled.

Antonio turned his head slightly, putting his hand to his ear. "What was that?"

"Fine!" Lovino grunted it through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry?" Antonio leant closer, his grin widening - the bastard was obviously having far too much fun. Lovino rolled his eyes.

"Oh for God's sake… I promise."

Antonio laughed and leant back on his heels. "There now, was that so hard?"

Lovino's lips pulled into a small, traitorous smile. "You really do say such stupid, melodramatic things, though."

Antonio threw his bag over his shoulder and grinned. "Ah, but if they can get you to smile like that, how can I resist?"

Lovino's heart fluttered annoyingly. "Oh, just stop it already, do you really think…"

"Ssh." Antonio abruptly raised a hand and turned his head, his smile falling and his eyes hardening. Lovino immediately fell silent, his stomach turning cold at Antonio's startling change of demeanour. He listened carefully, unable to hear anything but the wind, even as an awful anxiety grew horribly in his gut. Antonio did not move. Lovino started to ask what was wrong, when a low rumble sounded softly in the short distance. It grew slowly closer and clearer, until, with a flush of fearful heat, Lovino recognised the sound as a car engine. Antonio's wide, darkened eyes met his, just as Grandpa Roma's words rang in his head - There are German patrols along this road, sometimes... The moment seemed to stretch, hazy and distorted and lasting far too long. It broke when Antonio climbed frantically to his feet, grabbed Lovino by the arm, and dragged him from the dirt track towards the low, sloping rise.

Lovino barely felt the pain in his ankle. He had no time to think or feel anything before Antonio pulled him hurriedly into an embankment beside the road - one of the many trenches that had long been built throughout the Italian countryside. They fell heavily to the ground against the dug out hollow, unseen and sheltered from the road. Lovino's head spun almost painfully. "What are we going to..."

"Ssh, Lovino." Antonio spoke in a firm whisper, his eyes stern and steady, his body almost touching Lovino's in the small, cramped space. "Exactly as I say, remember? Stay silent, and stay completely still. They will drive straight by."

Lovino gulped and nodded, his shock turning quickly to fear. Everything was happening too fast. He tried to breathe evenly through the rising dread, waiting and praying for that sickening rumble of the car engine to pass them by. The sound grew steadily louder and closer, until it blasted down from the road above and Lovino forgot to pray; forgot to breathe. Then it quieted, stuttered, and stopped completely. Lovino felt his heart stop with it. Why were they turning off the engine? Why was the car stopping? Lovino looked at Antonio curiously, desperately, as though he could somehow hear and answer Lovino's silent questions. But Antonio simply looked confused until, with a sudden flash of almost fearful comprehension, his lips parted slightly and his eyes grew wide. And then Lovino realised. His pistol was still sitting conspicuously on that rock beside the road.

Lovino's stomach plunged to his feet. He shook his head in angry denial, icy sweat rising on his skin, burning tears gathering in his eyes. How could he have done something so stupid? Antonio told him not to put the weapon down! He knew not to put the weapon down! "I'm sorry," Lovino whispered, his hand flying to his mouth. Car doors opened and slammed shut above them; heavy, unmistakable German voices drowned out the wind. Fear and shame flooded Lovino's freezing veins. His voice cracked as he whispered again. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm…"

Antonio shook his head and touched his fingers to Lovino's lips. "Ssh. No," he mouthed silently. Then quickly, strongly, he reached an arm around Lovino's waist and pulled him close. Beyond pride, beyond thought, beyond reason, Lovino fell desperately against him. The rough tread of military boots pounded on the road above, punctuated by shouts and orders and those deep, loud, paralysing German voices. Lovino simply clung to Antonio. He couldn't hold back his tears, couldn't think to feel ashamed. He could only hide his face in Antonio's neck and wait.

Breathing rapidly against Antonio's skin, Lovino's heart thumped wildly as his fear mixed with something else. Antonio was so close. Holding Lovino tight, stroking his back and smoothing his hair, touching his cheek and wiping his tears. Antonio calmed him and reassured him and comforted him without saying a word. Lovino closed his eyes. He did not deserve this. He did not deserve Antonio. Because of Lovino, all that now kept Antonio from torture and death was this tiny, shallow trench. If these German soldiers caught him now, if would be Lovino's fault.

Hot, heavy tears refused to stop falling. Lovino did not even care that he was shaking uncontrollably; he could only think about Antonio being captured, being killed, all because of his own stupid mistake... He looked up suddenly, needing somehow to apologise, but stopped short at the look in Antonio's strangely gentle, reassuringly calm, brilliantly green eyes. He did not look angry. He did not look scared. Antonio just looked like the most wonderful, kind, beautiful, important person in Lovino's entire world.

But those harsh German voices kept shouting. Those heavy, pounding boots kept moving, drawing closer, faster, until they were directly above the trench. Lovino realised they weren't stopping. The soldiers were checking the roadside. Panic clawed at Lovino's chest, sickening and overwhelming, too hot and too wrong. He fought back a sob, shaking and sweating, even as Antonio stroked his hair and stared calmly into his eyes. This wasn't real, he couldn't do this, he couldn't breathe…

A deep voice shouted roughly from above. Antonio went rigid. His hand moved to his hip, and Lovino realised with a horrifying wave of dizziness that he was reaching for his gun. Lovino's mind froze with terror. His blood thrummed with it, his throat choked with pounding, clawing fear. He had never felt such terror in his life. Antonio just squeezed him tight, touched his lips to Lovino's ear, and whispered so quietly that Lovino could not be sure he heard it. "With my life."

A shudder ran though Lovino's body as his breath left him. It was almost painful how deeply the realisation struck: Antonio meant those words. Antonio really would die for him. Lovino's chest ached as Antonio rested his forehead against Lovino's own, as their breath mingled and their hearts beat rapidly between them. In these moments that might be their last, all Lovino wanted was to be with Antonio; to hold him, to feel him, to accept what Lovino had never allowed himself to accept before. He closed his eyes and felt the unspoken words pulse through every part of him. I love you.

But then the footsteps stomped back to the road. The shouting voices drifted further away. Lovino held his breath, unable to move, his eyes still clamped shut. Scared to hope; scared to breathe. After what felt like an eternity, the car engine stuttered to life. It revved loudly, screeched deafeningly, and finally the tearing sound took off and disappeared into the distance. Lovino's eyes flew open and he could not hold back a sob of relief, though he again slammed his hand to his mouth immediately. Antonio breathed out heavily and put his pistol away. They stayed lying close for a few moments more, silent, waiting, until Antonio finally looked up and started to move. Lovino panicked immediately. What if it was a trick? What if they were still there? "No, no, no," Lovino whispered, shaking his head, gripping Antonio's arm and trying to stop him.

Antonio smiled reassuringly and took Lovino's hand, squeezing it gently. Then he looked over the top of the dug out embankment. "They're gone."

Lovino shuddered with an overwhelming relief, a cold sweat breaking over his skin. His terrified tears turned into gasping breaths of exhaling release. "Oh, God, Antonio!" he sighed, putting a hand to his heaving chest as though it could help him breathe. And then, suddenly, it hit him. How he'd acted, what he'd done, what he'd said… Lovino had never felt more embarrassed in his life. He snatched his hand from Antonio's, pushed himself upright, and shrunk away. The encompassing shame only made his disgraceful tears worse.

"Lovino?" Antonio sounded concerned.

"No!" Lovino tried instinctively to hide his face. "No, no, I'm an idiot! I made such a stupid mistake! It could have cost everything, and…" Lovino had to gulp for air. "And I'm such a coward!"

Antonio sighed gently, breathily, and laid his hand on Lovino's shoulder. "No, Lovino…"

"Stop!" Lovino flinched from Antonio's touch, angry and confused and humiliated. "Don't be nice to me, stop always being so nice to me! I am just a coward because when something like this happens I fall apart! No wonder Grandpa doesn't let me go on serious missions, because look at me! I'm so afraid! I'm afraid of something happening to you, or to Grandpa, or Feliciano; I'm scared of being captured and tortured and killed, I'm scared of what I feel for you…" Lovino broke off and slammed a hand over his mouth. Oh crap, he'd said that. He had really just said that. "Shit, shit, damn it!" Lovino pulled himself to his feet, having completely forgotten his wounded ankle. He took a single step and fell to the ground. No, no, no… "SHIT!"

Lovino utterly burned with embarrassment. He wanted to disappear; he wanted to die. He wanted a huge gap to open in the ground and swallow him whole. Lovino settled for drawing his knees up, placing his arms around them, and putting his head on his arms. Maybe this was a dream. Maybe he would wake up if he just wished hard enough. Maybe…

"It is okay, Lovino." Lovino felt Antonio sit close beside him, but could not bring himself to look. The air around them grew colder by the second, the cool breeze turning Lovino's sweat icy against his skin. The calm silence of the early evening seemed so much deeper after the earlier harsh and raucous events. They sat in silence for a few moments before Antonio spoke again. "Oh, mi corazón. Everything is okay now."

"No," Lovino mumbled. "It's not."

Antonio paused a moment. "Lovino, you would not be human if you did not get scared."

Lovino scoffed into his arms. "That's easy for you to say. You're not scared of anything. You're the bravest man I know, you don't understand…"

"You think I don't get scared?" Antonio interrupted, then laughed gently, humourlessly. "Lovino, that was terrifying. Of course I was scared. And I am afraid of all those things you mentioned. Of something happening to Roma, to Feli - God forbid, to you. Of being captured…" Antonio sighed wearily. "Of what the Gestapo would do to me."

Lovino shook his head forcefully. "Don't." He could not speak of that. He could not even think of that.

Antonio took a few moments to continue. "I'm afraid of the same things as you, Lovino."

Lovino turned his head on his arms, finally meeting Antonio's gaze. His smile was too understanding, his eyes too kind, his handsome face framed by his falling curls and the darkening sky. Lovino's heart skipped and swelled at the sight. He almost forgot to feel embarrassed.

"Lovino, we all feel fear. But some things are worth pushing through that fear for. Some things are more important." Antonio brushed a lock of hair behind Lovino's ear, a familiar breathtaking gesture that brought with it a flood of memory and emotion. "Some things are worth it."

Lovino could not answer. He could only close his eyes and turn his head away. He did not even know why he did it. It was uncontrollable, an instinct he had nurtured for so long and buried so deep that he had no choice. Denying his feelings for Antonio had become some strange part of him now. Lovino knew he was no longer saving himself from pain – he was only causing it, and yet, he did not know how to stop. He still tried to tell himself that loving Antonio was not worth the pain. Lovino carefully wiped the corner of his eye before another tear could fall.

"Come, Lovino." Antonio reached for Lovino's hand and squeezed it lightly, reassuringly. "It is getting dark. Lean against me, and I will help you."

Lovino nodded silently. He allowed Antonio to help him to his feet, allowed him to place an arm around his waist and help him walk. But he could not look at Antonio. He could not stand to see that hidden disappointment in those kind green eyes.

Antonio chattered aimlessly as they walked. He spoke of the usual topics: places he had been, people he had met. He laughed and joked and even sang occasionally, unfamiliar Spanish tunes and verses that Lovino could not translate. He held Lovino firmly, steadily, keeping the pressure off his ankle and preventing him from falling. The earlier horrifying, humiliating incident faded with the afternoon light, drifted away on the gusting breeze. Lovino remained silent, listening to Antonio's words, keenly aware of that steady arm around his waist and that firm hand holding his. Leaning into his warmth, breathing in his scent, accepting the old comfort and relief of his presence. Feeling like he belonged.

There was something else between them now. A quiet knowledge, an unspoken understanding that this something else was leading somewhere. Every stolen glance, every unchecked thought, every spoken word was building it, uncontrollably, and no matter how scared Lovino might be, nothing could stop it.

And as they walked slowly, brokenly, gradually along the unsteady path beside the main road, Lovino felt a sudden realisation flood through his veins and burst in his mind.

It would not be much longer until he gave in.

Next Chapter

Disclaimer: This story belongs to George deValier. Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I own nothing.

#Besame Mucho chapter 5

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