#ready to be cancelled lmao hopefully not though

[switchiestuff]

Joining the conversation but not actually sticking to the subject. This post is more like a dump of all the problems i have with the community as someone with this fetish.

This turned out to be very long so ill summarize my talking points:

Theres no such thing as sfw tickle blogs

Minors and adults should never interact (non-negotiable)

The psychological damage kink-shaming has (and the way sfw blogs contributes to it from inside the community)

Personal thoughts and experiences from being a minor on here

I was pretty angry when i wrote this so there is a lot of attitude, and i will not change it. The subject makes me angry and i think i should be allowed to feel this way. Also english isn't my first language so thats that also.

Well enough said, here the post:

To start it all, nothing in this community is sfw. I don’t care how much you believe urself to be a sfw blog, ur not. Sfw does not mean non-sexual or non-explicit, it simply means the content on here isn’t suitable or appropriate to view in public or professional settings. People would react to the content you’re are watching, ur not getting around it.

And this has nothing to do with me not being able to view tickling in any other way than through my sexual perspective, I obviously know how the rest of the world views tickling. It’s playful, it’s a way of bonding and it is innocent, till it’s not. And if ur reading this than u have definitely stepped over the line of what’s considered normal innocent interest. If ur reading this you have entered a

✨Kink community✨

Let’s call it what it is. By choosing to participate in a kink community while claiming that your interest is “pure” and “innocent”, you undermine the very foundation this community is built on. The kink community exists to provide a space for people to explore their interests and fetishes in a safe and accepting environment. Trying to portray urself as different from or better than other kinksters by placing yourselves on a pedestal, you harm the very community you use and benefit from.

It’s clear that youre fighting for ur “right” to be here by putting down the people who actually built this community, the kinksters youre trying to distance yourselves from. Attempting to separate urself from the sexual aspect of kink and insisting that it’s possible to engage in this community without it being kink, or even sexually charged, shows a fundamental lack of respect and understanding for why this space exists in the first place.

Kink communities are built on trust, consent, and respect, and safety is non-negotiable. By distancing urself from the sexual nature of kink and framing ur participation as “innocent” or “SFW,” you actively undermine these principles. This isn’t just misguided, it’s dangerous.

When you claim your intentions are “pure” and separated from kink, you blur the lines of what these spaces represent. This will lead to confusion about boundaries and consent, making the community less safe for everyone. By rejecting the core values of kink while still engaging with its spaces, you create an environment ready for exploitation, where people, particularly minors, are more vulnerable to harm.

U cannot claim a space in a kink community while refusing to abide by its rules. If ur here, you have a responsibility to respect its inherently adult nature and prioritize safety over ur own attempts to appear morally superior. Anything less is not just selfish, it is reckless and puts others at risk.

Prob some sfw blog: “you just can’t accept that other people don’t like tickling like you do, u have to believe us when we say it’s pure” or whatever

If ur fixation is so normal, then why are u even here? Let’s be honest: it’s not because you actually think ur interests are “innocent” or “pure.” It’s bc ur terrified of how ppl in ur real life would see u if they knew. You fear your interest will be labeled as sexual, so u come here to distance urself from that stigma while still indulging in the sexual space ur so scared of being seen as part of.

You think if u distance urself enough from kinksters, u can avoid the stigma society places on this community. But in reality, by occupying this space, you’ve already aligned urself with kink. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t use the community as a safe haven for urself while simultaneously rejecting the very people who built it.

Your fear of being labeled isn’t unique. Everyone here understands what it’s like to face judgment and stigma, we prob know it better than anyone. But instead of working through your fear or challenging society’s perceptions, u have decided to redirect ur shame and frustration at others in this space, hoping to elevate yourself by tearing us down. It’s hypocritical, and it’s harmful.

SFW blogs again: ”But i don’t show explicit content!! It is 10099863%%% safe for minors!!!!”

Ya right… minors are always gonna try to sneak into spaces like this, whether out of curiosity or suppressed sexuality (oh look, just like me). But it’s our job as adults to keep them out and stop them from engaging here.

Tickling in this community (heavy on IN THIS COMMUNITY) isn’t just some playful thing. It’s about physical closeness, boundaries, and power dynamics that need to be respected. Acting like it’s “harmless fun” here is just wrong. Letting minors join in, even in “innocent” ways, is a slippery slope.

The second you start blurring lines, you open the door for bad people to take advantage, and it only takes one messed up person to ruin everything.

Minors don’t need random adults to talk to about this. They have friends their own age for that. I really dont get it, why are u so desperate to let minors engage with you? Even if u think ur space is 100% safe, ur creating opportunities for unsafe people to step in and exploit those blurred boundaries.

Our responsibility isn’t to give minors a platform, it is to keep this space an adult one, built on respect and safety. If u can’t do that, u don’t belong here.

Now we’re kinda getting of topic but idc I need this to be discussed too:

The psychological effects of ur fucking attitude!!

I used to be a minor on here. I was lurking back when I was 14 or smth, long before I ever started interacting. Even then, I picked up on the attitude toward the NSFW side of the community that people who enjoyed it sexually were somehow lesser, perverse, or shameful. Most of the time it wasn’t obvious or direct, but that’s how socializing works. It’s in the small, unspoken cues, the subtle ways people express disapproval without saying it outright.

I didn’t understand my feelings at the time and I certainly didn’t realize I was already part of what they considered “perverse”. I just knew I didn’t want to be one of them. So what did I do??

✨buried my feelings✨

I went into deep denial and tried to gaslight myself into believing I was pure, innocent, and above all that sexual stuff (ew for sexual stuff). And actually, fuck you for making me feel that way in a place that was supposed to be safe for exploration. This is a kink community, not the purity contest y’all keep trying to turn it into.

Being a kid who doesn’t fully understand their feelings but still feels drawn toward something kink-related is already confusing enough. Add the judgment and shaming (from both irl and inside the community) that’s so casually thrown around, and it becomes outright harmful. We can’t stop minors from finding their way into these spaces, it’s going to happen either way, but we can control the messages we’re putting out there.

So to the “sfw” blogs: be mindful of the sexually suppressed kids lurking around, trying to make sense of themselves. They don’t need your moral superiority, they need a space that doesn’t make them feel like garbage for being different. Your fear of being labeled “perverse” is nothing compared to the crushing realization of “fuck this is actually a core part of me and my sexuality that I’m never ever getting away from” (at least it can be and it definitely was for me).

Think about the damage you might be doing to people who haven’t figured themselves out yet. This isn’t a choice, you should know that, so don’t shame us for it.

I think I’m done now. I find it absurd how we’re having these conversations in the literal community that supposed to be safe, but oh well. It will definitely happen again.

Glad I got this out of my system. If u read it all, congrats man it must have taken ages.

Here’s a star ⭐️

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HAAHAH omg us twinning in our touching grass eras too look at us go!!

We are just too powerful and I agree I didn’t see any problems with the animation/art!!! Very pleased and the AT was definitely longer!!! I’m lowk so happy because we get even more goofy content and interactions but omg YUKI PHASE??? Yuki finally getting his moment LMAO but honestly me too omg he just looked so good in the ep and so gentle???

Karasu sibling angst with two emotionally constipated siblings LMAO we love it

Their pokemon subtly having ship wars is SO FUNNY LMAOOO like they’re rooting for specific pairings and pulling off goofy shenanigans to try and set them up wait a side story like this would be so funny

HAHAHA Japanese soccers number one defender? No, Japanese soccers number one wingman LMAOO oaeu grind never stops

AJAHAHA honestly a mood we all need those unproductive moments every now and then!! Im already seeing more traction for tabieitaken im hoping they really ride the wave and get even more popular we need to grow the nation (YES ESP KARASU SJXHSKSH)

CRYING no you truly are y/n don’t worry you’ll have your true y/n moment soon it’s a sign these experiences are just building your lore yk

- Karasu anon

SO PROUD actually i’ve returned to being chronically online for the moment but i need to stop so i can actually get to cooking w my writing i have sooo many requests to get through 😭

YUKI PHASE YUKI PHASE YUKI PHASE idk if you’ve seen my obsessive yuki posting i’ve been going a bit insane with it he just looked SO SO GOOD actually everyone did even rin and shidou but all of my followers know i’m in love with nagi and karasu already so it’s yuki’s turn to get the spotlight for a bit 🤩 i love the goofy scenes and interactions they’re adding in i think they are so fun!! and add a lot more depth to everyone LMAOAOA pls karasu is looking so problematic rn i need him to show his loser side he’s giving mega douche atm (but in a cute silly way because i love him)

HELPP the pokémon are actually just representative of fandom at large they get into battles over their ships…aegislash gets goodra cancelled for being a reo x nagi shipper…talonflame doxxes yukimiya’s manectric for hating on karasu x reader…reuniclus is online typing PARAGRAPHS defending nagi and picking apart his every interactions with reader to prove that they are “canon”…gallade uses psychic powers to record reo and tullia and then he makes edits out of the footage to upload online…it’s crazy HAHAHAH wait it actually would be a really funny side story LMAOO

JAPANESE SOCCER’S NUMBER ONE WINGMAN ong i need to get back to the oaeu once i finish this request i will get smth oaeu related out hopefully!! i’m between otoya and karasu atm they’re both hilarious premises (although neither of the have aikulations sadly since the alternate pov in those are karasu/otoya — in the otoya ver it’s reader going to aiku and otoya going to yuki + karasu meanwhile in the karasu ver it’s karasu crashing out and turning to home wrecking for his sanity which i think is funnier from his pov than aiku’s)

YEAHHH I’VE SEEN A LOT OF HYPE FOR THEM ALREADY i’m quite excited!! saved so many yuki edits on tt already hehe and i’ve seen so many people converting to otoyaism which is hilarious…once karasu proves to also be a loser not just an asshole i’m sure he’ll get many more fans!! me personally i am so ready to see that one panel of him standing with the ball and looking around animated YOU KNOW THE ONE also the first time he shoves isagi 🤩🤩🤩 i have faith they will do my man justice 👆🏻 UGHHH I NEED TO FINISH THIS REQ THOUGH I WANT TO GET BACK TO WRITING NON-OPPS i’m already at 5k and we’ve talked to the love interest like 1.5 times though so it’s looking like another lengthy one i’m afraid 😭

HELP we’re still in the backstory arc fr 😓 one day i will find someone yukimiya irl and then i can live out my “dating a stupid grand-gesture-making loser” dreams 🥹✊🏻

[baekhvuns]

What what I didn't hear all of the football news?! I expected Bale to retire soon, but Lloris too? And lmao NOT Busquets and Ronaldo together?! Finally said something I agree with Zidane didn't win 3 CL titles with RM in a row to be disrespected by some old dick, bfr 🤡

Hey, I haven't been hurt in a while! Except for burning myself while cooking sometimes... and at times I hit my head on a cupboard 😭 I'm not the quirky and clumsy Y/N who falls down the stairs every second!

I don't see a lot of Harry and Meghan stuff and I'm okay with being blissfully unaware, let's just... stop. I get it, they hate the royals, so do I, but stop milking it unless you're gonna reveal something BIG.

Ofc stans want Lookass back, even though he was so unnecessary, like... didn't anyone else want to join, him of all people??? The fact WayV had a cb without him, but he's gonna show up in SuperM makes no sense to me. SM is deadly quiet, so I can't imagine him showing up suddenly?

I didn't see that many LSF performances and they definitely don't sing live as much as some stans think, but wbk people are delulu. Still, I enjoy their performances a lot! And miss Yunjin's song!!!

Stop that guy from the IG video needs to debut omg

Yeah the talent shows that exploit children 🔪 the parents are the biggest villains though. SM levelled up their promo game, and I'm so glad. The DCM/Atlantis photos were so beautiful as well, I've already noticed the improvement

I'm sorry I had to do it to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰 these boys are killing me. The blackhaired one is a good boy too, a bit of a tsundere at first, but ❤ this love triangle will kill me...

Wait that's the other guy, not Seongjun... what's his name Seungyeon 😭 but yeah the wet shirt happened

Omfg that remix YESSSS I couldn't find it for some reason thanxx!!! That Jopping video, hello?

That San fan call video is so funny idk if he meant it in bad way, probably not but akdhjsjskaknshajahs.

Mr Cedric Diggory deserved better! Nvm Damiano went bald, cancelled 😭😭😭😭 I'm supposed to see Maneskin later this year again, the hair better grow back. Lmao Tom Hiddleston as Loki yeah that too, I just really like Tom Hardy, not necessarily into him rn, but he's an amazing actor. Not Miraculous Ladybug? 🤔

And if I sink my teeth into his arms then what I'm not ready for more Park Seonghwa naaaaaurrrrr

This thread... and judge Hwaaaaa?!

Man really wants it all, cat, bunny, snake, bird... and now a duck? That's Seonghwa now

Maybe the Aussies like snakes...? I mean if it was skinny it can't be that bad 😅 is it weird I'm always more worried about tarantulas and other big ass spiders than snakes? Even though it's easier to escape or capture a spider

Hear me out, bad boy Hwa looking like this 👀

I have some MOTH spoilers, so Tasir has become the Royal Consort 😭🥰 that's my man! However the 2nd baby was born and I have a strange feeling it's Sonnaught's... and that Tasir will leave at some point 🔪 he can come visit me, no problem. I wouldn't get pregnant with some other guys' 🤫 - DV 💖

hi hellooo!!!

What what I didn't hear all of the football news?! I expected Bale to retire soon, but Lloris too? And lmao NOT Busquets and Ronaldo together?! Finally said something I agree with Zidane didn't win 3 CL titles with RM in a row to be disrespected by some old dick, bfr 🤡

YEAH LLORIS’S WAS A SHOCKER,,, busquets ramos and somehow even modric 😭😭 rare mbappe W, but the president resigned so thank fuck,, coming out here disrespecting the man who put your country on the map 🔫 but i have to say french football has the best drama dbdbdb,,, and a kaka lookalike coming to chealsea hopefully the skills come too 🤲🏻 and i HAVE to share this i don’t know how i didn’t see this earlier but the way i threw myself away after reading this A VIOLATION !!!!!! HAS ME SCREAMIFNFNF HE IS A PURE HATER AND I RESPECT THAT SO MUCH and a shakira pique dis track??

Hey, I haven't been hurt in a while! Except for burning myself while cooking sometimes... and at times I hit my head on a cupboard 😭 I'm not the quirky and clumsy Y/N who falls down the stairs every second!

as im writing this i also just sustained an injury by hitting my knuckle on the wood corner <3 this one time an iron fell on my hand <3 THE QUIRKY YN STOP i didn’t say anything 👀🤚🏻ur the yn with long hair till ur waist that need to be tied in a ponytail bc u hate opening it 😩 and has a bad boy waiting outside ur door 😮‍💨

I don't see a lot of Harry and Meghan stuff and I'm okay with being blissfully unaware, let's just... stop. I get it, they hate the royals, so do I, but stop milking it unless you're gonna reveal something BIG.

ur so lucky for this bc i can’t escape them 😭😭😭 the most odd thing about them is that they call each other H & M 😭😭😭,,,, anon if i had to listen to this, u have to also im not doing this alone

do you think if charles and diana had a daughter, things would be completely different now and that whatever history happened would be changed? 🎤

Ofc stans want Lookass back, even though he was so unnecessary, like... didn't anyone else want to join, him of all people??? The fact WayV had a cb without him, but he's gonna show up in SuperM makes no sense to me. SM is deadly quiet, so I can't imagine him showing up suddenly?

no bc it would’ve made sense if they tested his come back with nct but with superm it’s a no no but i think sm’s trying to cater towards the western audience bc it’s what superm was for & it’s easier to forget everything with the western culture??? 😭😭😭

I didn't see that many LSF performances and they definitely don't sing live as much as some stans think, but wbk people are delulu. Still, I enjoy their performances a lot! And miss Yunjin's song!!! //// Stop that guy from the IG video needs to debut omg

right!! i get so mesmerized when they perform i don’t even care if they sing live or not! the enjoy factor in their performances are so high AND YUNJINS SONG I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT WOMEN SO TERRIBLY, I AM DOWN BAD FOR HER !!!!!!! we need the guy to debut bc he did one with new jeans too 😭😭😭 old jeans need to be their group name and uh baemon 1st member is 15 named haram..

Yeah the talent shows that exploit children 🔪 the parents are the biggest villains though. SM levelled up their promo game, and I'm so glad. The DCM/Atlantis photos were so beautiful as well, I've already noticed the improvement

no seriously!! wanting ur kids to be famous so u can exploit their fame for money is 🔫🔫 THEY DID THE TEASERS ARE STUNNING sm’s artistic excellence is untouchable,, red velvet’s feel my rhythm teasers and the birthday album design???? TOP TIER !!!!!

I'm sorry I had to do it to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰 these boys are killing me. The blackhaired one is a good boy too, a bit of a tsundere at first, but ❤ this love triangle will kill me... ///// Wait that's the other guy, not Seongjun... what's his name Seungyeon 😭 but yeah the wet shirt happened

the way i stuttered, held onto the closest thing to me to stabilize BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ANON 😭😭😭😭 the black haired is my favourite and i haven’t even read it,, that is a park seonghwa reincarnation OHHHHHHH but wet shirt 🤚🏻

Omfg that remix YESSSS I couldn't find it for some reason thanxx!!! That Jopping video, hello? //// That San fan call video is so funny idk if he meant it in bad way, probably not but akdhjsjskaknshajahs.

ofc!! THE JOPPING VIDEO !!!! WHAT A MASTERPIECE I AM STILL SO INSANELY SURPRISED BY EVERY TIME I SEE IT, art! whichever way he meant it’s so funny id never show my face to him ever again 😭😭😭

Mr Cedric Diggory deserved better! Nvm Damiano went bald, cancelled 😭😭😭😭 I'm supposed to see Maneskin later this year again, the hair better grow back. Lmao Tom Hiddleston as Loki yeah that too, I just really like Tom Hardy, not necessarily into him rn, but he's an amazing actor. Not Miraculous Ladybug? 🤔

HE DESERVED EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING BETTER but draco deserved even better esp in the last 3 movies 🤚🏻 HES WHAT???? HES IN HIS MILITARY ERA???? WHAT THE FUCK???? he do this for what. why. U BETTER SEND US HD PHOTOS OF HIM !!!!!!! and eurovision in liverpool???? 👀 he is a great actor and the choice of movies he picks is amazing! CHAT NOIR. I WONT SAY ANYTHING.

And if I sink my teeth into his arms then what I'm not ready for more Park Seonghwa naaaaaurrrrr //// This thread... and judge Hwaaaaa?! //// Man really wants it all, cat, bunny, snake, bird... and now a duck? That's Seonghwa now

omg his skin is so smooth 😭😭😭 CLOSE THE GYMS KQ !!!!!! PLEASE KEEP HIM AWAY 😭😭😭 PLS DBWKHDKE SEONGHWA HITS ALL THE ANGLES KCBWKDJCJC we need hwa on a dance mentor show to see his judging,, wait felix 😭😭😭🤚🏻

Maybe the Aussies like snakes...? I mean if it was skinny it can't be that bad 😅 is it weird I'm always more worried about tarantulas and other big ass spiders than snakes? Even though it's easier to escape or capture a spider

AN ORANGE SNAKE AND A BLACK SNAKE ANON FJQKFHWKHD THE WAY IT SLITHERED HAD MY SKIN CRAWLING IT IS NASTY DISGUSTING DISFUCKINGGUSTING TJEHDWK spiders and snakes are equally scary bc one can swallow u whole or poison u the other just exists and crawls..

Hear me out, bad boy Hwa looking like this 👀

I have some MOTH spoilers, so Tasir has become the Royal Consort 😭🥰 that's my man! However the 2nd baby was born and I have a strange feeling it's Sonnaught's... and that Tasir will leave at some point 🔪 he can come visit me, no problem. I wouldn't get pregnant with some other guys' 🤫 - DV 💖

SONNAUGHT BABY???? 😭😭😭🤚🏻 IF ONLY THAT FUCKER WAS NICE ID BE CELEBRATING IN THE STREETS,, TASIR DESERVED BEST DUO !!!!! if sonnaught get’s his shit back together im sorry to say it’s over for tasir

a day to remember 😔

anon…

U SAID BAD BOY HWA WITH SILVER HAIR IS THIS NOT HIM

AND THE SUIT FIT??? 😩😩

and? 🧍🏻‍♀️

[yslkook]

TiO (8)

mind of mine masterlist

summary: jungkook is a man of mystery and you take him on a date.

pairing: “badboy” jk x “shy/reserved” oc

warnings: cursing, alc, excessive use of pet names, a shitty relationship, unprotected sex (pls use protection, these two are being foolish) , some choking, grinding, making out, oral

word count: ~6.3k

a/n: if you want to be tagged, send an ask plz. would love to hear your thoughts. a big thank you to @cutechim for creating the texts for me lmao<33

***

Jungkook remains tight-lipped about what it was he had done over the weekend, when he had gone with Jin and Mina to a tattoo convention a few hours away. They had ended up staying the night there, and while Jungkook wanted to ask you to come with him, he wondered if it was too soon to ask. After all, you were both still enjoying each other’s company at your own sweet pace.

Eventually his little secret gets put on the back burner for the rest of the week. You were supposed to get bubble tea with him on Tuesday, but unfortunately a last minute work issue with your client and your application came up. You’d ended up working late, your eyes screaming in fatigue and went straight to bed that evening. He had understood, of course he did.

On Thursday, he was supposed to grab lunch with you at a cafe that he thought you might like, but this time it was him who had a conflict. His older sister had showed up to the tattoo parlor without any prior notice. She does this every so often, when things aren’t going well with her on again, off again shitty “boyfriend”.

Jungkook had sighed, cancelling on lunch with you to spend time with Jooyeon and comfort her with fried chicken and ice cream. You had sent an understanding thumbs up and a promise to call him later and end up having lunch with your work wife, Kira instead.

Kira who doesn’t fail to point out the glow in your cheeks and your general aura, even though it’s been nearly a week and a half since you saw Jungkook last. You roll your eyes and ignore the flames in your cheeks (and her laughter), and change the subject to your work projects. She tells you about some of the coding issues and compliance issues she’s been having with her software, and you tell her about the hours you’ve been pouring into your application for your client.

It doesn’t bother you that Jungkook hadn’t asked if you wanted to meet his sister. After all, he’d told you bits and pieces about her and her relationship. And in the last few weeks, your relationship has blossomed so beautifully. There was no reason to rush, you think. You’ll meet her hopefully under better circumstances for her.

Jungkook spends most of the evening with Jooyeon, letting her cry herself to sleep in his bed. His sister hardly ever cries like this, with sobs full of pain and hurt because of another man. But it’s been happening too much lately, too many fights and too much of Joo losing herself. It makes Jungkook see red more often than not. He knows what you’d say- that she needs him more than anything else and to not be so impulsive.

He makes sure Joo eats a warm meal before she falls asleep and he shoots you a text:

Jungkook: baby

You: hi

You: everything ok?

Jungkook: no, joo’s bf is a fkin asshole

Jungkook: she’s sleeping

Jungkook: miss u

You: im sorry baby :( can i call you?

He jumps at the chance, the sound of your voice and sight of your pretty face on video call instantly calming him. Jungkook is sure to wear a beanie to hide his surprise for you (but you don’t question it. After all, you’ve seen him in beanies plenty of times before and it’s dim in the apartment.) He moves to the couch, asking softly for you to tell him about your day. You recount every single detail from memory, shifting under your covers to tell him about how you had nearly stumbled down the stairs in front of your manager’s manager because you had missed a step.

It pulls a soft laugh from him.

“Jungkook,” You say quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jungkook sighs, “She’s just… Byung-woo and her have had this on and off thing for years now. He won’t commit to her and she just refuses to see him for what he is. Like, when it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s awful. I wish she’d fucking see it for herself. I don’t know what to do anymore, baby.”

“Oh, baby,” You murmur, wishing you could hug him, “All you can do is be there for her but be honest with her. She’ll come around soon, hopefully. It’s hard to see past a shitty person sometimes, when all you want is for them to love you.”

“I hope so, too,” Jungkook says, “She’d love you, you know?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Don’t get a big head,” Jungkook chuckles, “Maybe you can meet her someday. Under better circumstances, I mean.”

“Really? You want me to meet your older sister?” You ask softly, feeling a little flustered, “That’s serious.”

“I told you, baby,” Jungkook soothes, “I’m serious about you.”

“Yeah. Seriously crazy about me,” You giggle to yourself. You know if Jungkook was with you, he’d flick your forehead.

“It’s true,” He murmurs, “Maybe I can see you this weekend?”

“Yeah, you still have to show me what you did over the weekend! Take care of Jooyeon first,” You reply, “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll drop stuff off, just tell me.”

“I will,” Jungkook promises, “Sleep well, I miss you.”

“Sleep well. I miss you.”

***

Jooyeon ends up leaving on Saturday morning after a lecture from Jungkook and with determined resolve in her eyes. You jump at the chance to take him out tonight, knowing how stressed he’s been the last few days.

You: be ready at 6:30 tn, im taking u out. and dress slutty

Jungkook doesn’t know how to interpret your text when he reads it. He considers asking Mina and Mei what this means, but ultimately leaves it alone. Replying to your message with a quick thumbs up, he busies himself with getting ready to see you (and surprising you, finally after a full week of wanting to show you what he had done.)

Once you parallel park your car (which takes far too long than you’d like to admit), you grab the small bouquet of purple roses that you had gotten for Jungkook and text him saying that you’ll be up in a few minutes.

Taehyung had caught you struggling to parallel park, and had told Jungkook with a snicker. Which earned him a punch to the arm.

There wasn’t a particular reason that you had chosen to get purple roses for him, other than the fact that they reminded you of him. You hope he likes them.

Jungkook hears a soft knock at the door, and can already envision you behind it. He hopes you like his surprise, the one he’s been teasing you for a week about. You had given no hints of what you would be wearing- you had only sent him one selfie that didn’t give much of a hint into your outfit. He has no doubt that you’ll look gorgeous, but still.

Maybe Jungkook’s nerves shouldn’t be this intense, but he can’t help it. He swings the front door open, only to be greeted by you swaying on your feet with your hands held behind your back. His heart throbs when you pull your hands apart and present him with a beautiful bouquet of purple roses.

How ironic.

“Hello,” You say with a small smile, suddenly feeling a little shy and gasping when your eyes land on his hair, “Wow. You weren’t kidding…”

His hair is tied back into a ponytail, but it’s unmistakably elegant and so violet. Two neat pieces of his newly dyed hair fall into his face effortlessly, but then your gaze reaches the piercing on his left eyebrow. Your lips remain parted in surprise and without thinking, you reach up to touch his hair. It’s still soft, as it always is.

“Come in, baby,” Jungkook says, taking the roses from you, “You must really like me, huh? Got me flowers and everything?”

“Shut up,” You mutter, cheeks heating up, “Don’t get a big head.”

Jungkook only grins wolfishly at you and winks at you, eyes unashamedly glued to your ass. You roll your eyes, and swat his shoulder as you watch him put the rose in a vase and place it in the center of the dining table.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been in his shared apartment (that he lives with Taehyung and Jimin in) but you somehow feel shy in his presence again, as if it was the first time. The first time you had been here with him had been the first time you had spent the night at his apartment several weeks ago, after a night out with your friends.

You let your gaze wander, curious eyes settling on the subtle matching of the furniture and the cleanliness of the apartment. There’s not a stray speck of dust in sight, but maybe you’re distracting yourself from addressing the pretty purple of his hair. Your mouth is dry, and you’re probably drooling a little. You wonder if Jungkook prepared for this, the same way you did (in that you had washed your car, cleaned every inch of it and gotten a new car freshener).

A faint scent of fresh laundry and lavender sits in the spaces of his home. It calms you and gives you the boost to turn your eyes to him.

“Thanks for the roses, baby,” Jungkook says, giving you a smile and starry eyes. He pulls you into his arms, your back against the counter. “Surprise. Do you like it?”

“Uh,” You mumble, brain deciding to short-circuit with the way he looks at you. His smile turns into a smirk, deciding to further render you speechless by pressing himself closer to you and cradling your neck. He’s careful not to touch your face. He doesn’t want to mess your makeup up terribly, at least not yet.

“I know you like my hair. Your face says it all, baby,” Jungkook continues and ducks his head for a quick kiss, “You’re pretty.” He does quite like this dress, light blue and dotted in small flowers with thin straps. His eyes are instantly drawn to the drawstring at the center of your chest and he quells the urge to pull at it.

Jungkook’s mouth waters when he sees the side split of the dress but you want more from him immediately, but he pulls away to your chagrin. Even with the simple kiss, the burgundy color of your lipstick stains his plump bottom lip.

You shiver. It appears that he tried to take your words via text to heart- to dress slutty. He’s wearing a loose animal print button up, with the top three buttons undone. It gives you a delectable view of his pecs, his collarbones and a hint of the tattoo on his right side. As if you weren’t already weak in the knees for him as it was, he wears a black coat and tight, leather pants.

Jungkook pulls it off, like he pulls everything off and the purple hair blends seamlessly with his look. Tonight, he’d opted for two silver hoops in each ear and a thin silver necklace to match.

Your knees are weak, they’ve been weak since you had seen him in this offensive outfit and his hair, his new piercing that was clearly an attack on your entire existence.

The purple hair. The piercing. He’ll be the death of you tonight, you know it. Your legs are wobbly, panties already probably a little wet just from seeing him and from a few of his kisses. But you can’t help it. Without thinking, you press your lips to his, drawing your tongue into his mouth eagerly. You are so hungry, so eager to devour him and drink up anything that he offers you. Jungkook tugs you closer to him lightly by your waist but-

“Seriously? Right in front of my dinner?” Comes an amused voice from behind Jungkook and you nearly screech at the familiar sound of Jimin’s voice.

“I- I didn’t-You-” You stammer, feeling your face heat up to a degree that it’s definitely never heated up to before. You hide behind Jungkook to fix your surely wrecked lipstick. You’re certain his own lips are probably comically smudged with your lipstick as well. “Sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know, we’ll leave-”

Jungkook only rolls his eyes at Jimin’s wide smirk and knowing eyes. He hears you scolding Jungkook for not telling him that anyone was home, to which he promptly responds “well, you didn’t ask!”

Despite the very natural and easy flow of conversation between you and Jungkook in your car, you still feel overheated and jumpy, your fingers incessantly tapping on the steering wheel. It’s not Jungkook, it’s you and your own nerves. It’s not the first time you’ve gone out to dinner with him and it’s certainly not the first time you’ve had him in your car. If Jungkook notices, he says nothing.

“Where are we going, baby?” Jungkook asks, looking at you. You don’t meet his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the road despite being at a red light.

“Umm, that place you mentioned the other day. The one we talked about trying together,” You say softly. Jungkook can only wonder why you’re a little quiet, but he thinks he knows. You slip into your head so easily and he doesn’t mind gently tugging you out of your thought cloud and into reality with him.

“Can you help me park,” You mumble sheepishly, “I get nervous parking in such tight spaces.”

“Yeah, pull over here before it’s impossible to,” Jungkook murmurs. You nod and do so, hopping out of the driver’s seat to switch places with him. But before you can get in the passenger’s seat, Jungkook grips your wrist loosely. You look at him curiously, with wide eyes and he drops a kiss to your lips, swallowing your surprise.

“You’re so pretty,” Jungkook murmurs, “So fucking pretty, baby. I love this dress on you.” You preen at his praise, leaning forward for another kiss with a shy smile. He subtly squeezes your left tit before letting his hand travel downward.

“You look really good, Jungkook,” You murmur before he kisses you, “I-I really, really like it. A lot.”

He gently caresses your thigh from under your dress, the heat of his hand shooting straight up your core. Jungkook slips his tongue into your mouth quickly, coaxing your endearing nervousness away. As if you both aren’t pulled over to the side of the street where cars are passing you by (and surely wondering why you both were making out like this in public).

“Are we gonna be those people who have a roadside quickie,” You laugh, gently pushing his shoulder when you pull away.

“Roadside quickie? Get your mind out of the gutter,” Jungkook says but his lips twist into a wicked smirk, “But hey, if you wanna give me road head, I’m not going to complain about it-”

“Ha, you would be so lucky,” You scoff, feeling your nerves beginning to ease out of you, “C’mon, our reservation is soon. And then we can talk about road head.”

Dinner goes perfectly and after a glass of wine you feel those inexplicable nerves wash away. What did you have to be nervous for anyway? It was Jungkook- Jungkook who you’ve known for years. Your friend before any of this. He asks you about work, how your application is going-

“Your client sounds pretty demanding,” Jungkook muses, “You keeping up with it okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m not even an application engineer so I’m just learning as I go. My true roots are data and data science but I get to see all of it. Which is cool. But also time consuming, like the other evening, I had to read up on the compliance regulations. But my favorite thing is creating modeling and programs for this app, it’s really cool because it’s healthcare specific. So I’m learning about that sector as well, it’s mostly python but we’ve been doing testing with different healthcare providers in the area and they’re all responding really well to it-” You’re rambling, you know it, but your passion for your career knows no bounds and Jungkook makes no move to stop you. He only smiles at you, eyes crinkling and nose scrunching, gesturing for you to continue.

It’s funny. Not even a few months ago, you would have cut yourself off from your own rambling. In an attempt to convince yourself that the other person didn’t need to hear about it. Maybe that was Sora’s subconscious influence on you. Today, you don’t think twice about it, glowing and shimmering under the dim, blue lights of the restaurant as you tell Jungkook more about your job.

He makes your heart race and he’s sitting right in front of you. Your chin is in your hands as you listen to the pretty words slipping out of his lips. He’s so dreamy, and you struggle to not let your gaze stray from his eyes and linger on his exposed tattoos and chest. You don’t even know where to look, deciding to settle on the way his newly purple locks fall to his forehead just perfectly.

“What do you wanna eat for dessert?” You murmur, looking at the menu and cautiously allowing your foot to brush against his.

In hindsight, you should’ve seen it coming-

“You,” Jungkook says easily, as if he’s talking about the weather.

“Corny,” You roll your eyes, but nudge his foot again. You end up deciding on sharing a slice of decadent, chocolate mousse cake. Which Jungkook ends up finishing off when you satisfy your sweet tooth after a few big bites.

He leans over without a second thought, thumbing away stray cream from the corner of your mouth. Your tongue darts out to lick the tip of his thumb and he looks at you with wide eyes before grinning roguishly.

“Wanna get outta here, baby?”

“Should I take you home, Jungkook?” You ask, finding the courage somewhere in the remnants of the glass of wine currently evaporating from your system to take his hand in your lap once you’re both settled in your car.

“Do you want to take me home?” Jungkook asks with a quirked eyebrow.

“I have some wine I think you’d like at my place. I just got it,” You say a little breathlessly, “And I have to inspect something, I might need your help.” Jungkook laughs, a little derisively and you pout.

“You don’t have to bribe me with wine, baby. You know I would’ve been down regardless,” Jungkook says, squeezing your hand, “What do you need to inspect? Do you have a leak or something?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a leak alright,” You say under your breath, thinking about the growing wetness in your panties, “My man just showed up here with purple hair and an eyebrow piercing, looking like a damn model after one whole week. I have to inspect him.”

“Oh, is that so? In that case, I would love to be your lab rat. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen the inside of your bedroom before-”

“Who said you’d get that far?”

“I already did, baby. Did you forget?” Jungkook’s smirk widens, eyes sparkling with mischief. He gently cups your face, thumb on your chin and hovers just over your lips. You think he’s about to kiss you, so you close your eyes in anticipation of his lips on yours.

But it never comes. Instead, his breath fans over your cheeks and he lets out a low laugh. “I sure didn’t forget, and I know you didn’t either.”

You roll your eyes and swat his hand away, ignoring (but letting out a smile) when he chuckles. You decide to hold his hand for as much of the drive back home you can.

Jungkook’s hands are on your hips even as you’re fumbling with the keys to your front door. He’s a distraction, his warm heat plastered against your back and the simple act of opening your damn door feels like too much of a chore. When Jungkook’s lips glaze over the back of your neck, his fingers roaming your waist, it’s difficult for you to focus.

So Jungkook scoffs and turns the key for you. “Can’t open the door, baby?” Jungkook taunts and you level him with a glare.

“It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself in front of my door!”

“You like it,” Jungkook says, shutting the door behind him and hugging you as you try to walk away from him to wash up. You escape his grip with a giggle and lock yourself in your bathroom, while Jungkook waits with a disgruntled pout.

When you come out, you head into the kitchen to pour out two glasses of wine and bring some snacks out. You’re not particularly hungry, though you wouldn’t mind eating and you’re sure Jungkook wouldn’t mind either.

Your train of thought is of course interrupted by the man himself and he wraps his arms around you from behind, pushing you into the counter. One might say that Jungkook is being clingy, but you know this is how he shows his affections. Through physical touch more than anything else. And you quite like it, you like the reassurance of his body close to yours. It’s what you’ve always wanted and never known that you needed.

“Missed you,” He breathes into your hair. Even if he’s been with you for the last few hours… You understand him. It feels like you’re both making up for lost time. For time that you could’ve spent together, rather than apart.

“Me too,” You murmur, “Can you take this to the couch, honey? I’ll bring the glasses and the wine.”

Jungkook hums and kisses your temple, squeezing your ass before heeding your soft demand. You sit next to him, thighs touching, and pour out a glass for both of you to enjoy. You lean against his shoulder, wrapping an arm around his bicep and turn the television on. But neither of you are really paying attention.

“Hey,” Jungkook murmurs, “I had a good time tonight, baby.”

“Don’t I know it,” You say smugly, “It’s not everyday a pretty girl takes you out for din-” He cuts your words off by pulling you into his lap, somehow not spilling even a single drop of wine in the movement. You would’ve killed him if even a hint of a wine stain appeared on your velvet couch.

You press your hand into his shoulder, the hint of his tattoo and the glint of his piercing catching your eye. You swirl your glass of wine with your other hand. “What a precarious position to be in,” You say dryly, even grinding your hips into his playfully. He gives you a look, and stills your movements with one hand on your waist. Jungkook sets his glass on the coffee table behind you and cradles your neck, pulling you down for a sharp kiss. It’s almost desperate and needy, nothing like his kisses from before.

You slip your tongue into his honeyed mouth, tasting seeds of his desperation with your tongue. But then, you remember your wine glass and pull away from his lips with a lewd smack to reach behind you and place it on the coffee table as well.

“So pretty,” Jungkook moans, pushing the straps of your dress to the side and dotting your shoulders in wine-stained kisses, “Pretty girl, my pretty baby-”

You tilt his cheek towards you for a kiss, whining into his mouth at his praise. It shoots down your spine in a delicious hum and his hands roaming the expanse of your back makes you feel warm and powerful.

The way your hips move in time with his, the way you fit into the crevices of his thighs and his chest- he just wants to give you everything. He wants to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Jungkook will give you everything, if you let him.

“And what about you?” You rasp with swollen lips and wild eyes when you finally pull away. You press your fingers into the exposed, inky part of his chest, where his shirt is unbuttoned for your eyes. “You look so fucking good all the time, but-but I told you to dress slutty and you did this for me, huh? You did this for me, bunny?”

Jungkook’s cock jumps in his tight pants and his throat goes dry. Your eyes are devious, filled with mischief and sin and he gives himself to you fully and wholly.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods eagerly, “Yeah, I wanted to look nice for you, baby.”

“A-and your hair,” You mumble, feeling a little lovesick, “I love it, I love it, I love it-I just wanna- wanna make you feel good. Can I do that, bunny? Make you feel good?”

Jungkook nods with wide, doe eyes, wondering how the tables were turned so quickly.

“Take me to my bedroom,” You demand softly. The glasses of wine and snacks on the tray are left forgotten as Jungkook easily scoops you up in his arms. Even with your lips soft and slow against his neck, he somehow makes it to your bed.

It’s definitely not the first time you’ve had Jungkook in your bed (or that you’ve been in his bed). It’s not the first time you’ve peeled his shirt off meticulously and licked your way down his chest, to unbutton his tight pants. It’s not the first time he’s seen you on your knees on your bed (to alleviate the strain on your knees if you were on the floor).

By now, the shock of your impatience has worn off. Jungkook frequently reminds you to slow down, that you both have nowhere to be except with each other.

It looks like his pants are glued to his legs, and while you can appreciate the visual, you want to appreciate the real thing. You groan in frustration and Jungkook does the work for you, pushing the offending fabric away and breathing a sigh of relief. You crawl closer to him, nails featherlight against his taut thighs.

He’s golden, his body taut and spilling with swirls of color in the divots of his muscles. Your mouth waters.

But Jungkook moves your hands away when you start inching closer, wanting to palm his cock. He joins you on the bed, pushing your back to the bed and hiking the skirt of your dress up to your hips. His hands are tight and warm and welcome on your hips, a flare of desire shooting down your spine and straight to your pussy. You buck your hips up towards him with a pout but he only squeezes.

“What did I tell you,” Jungkook murmurs, swatting your thigh lightly.

“You’ll have to remind me,” You breathe.

“Told you to slow down, baby,” Jungkook says, letting his fingers trail up your thighs and slip under your panties. His hand is warm in contrast to the rings on his fingers. They do little to cool your skin, though. “Impatient girl.”

“You say that like a bad thing-”

“And you talk so fucking much,” Jungkook drawls, hovering over you and dropping his weight on top of you, nudging your cheek to kiss you. You reach upwards to thread your hands through his hair but he’s quick, so much quicker than you. Jungkook pins your wrists with just one hand, and the mere action, the mere display of strength has you sighing and your pussy fluttering.

“Lift your hips,” Jungkook says thickly, and you do so immediately. It’s easy for him to pull your black lace panties off to the side. But before he does so he gives you a small smile of approval, knowing that you wore them specifically for him to see.

“I really do love this dress, baby,” He says, “Makes your tits and your ass look amazing.”

“Take it off, then. And see the goods up close,” You say, wiggling against his grip.

“I will,” Jungkook says lazily, “Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Without a single warning, he lifts you up easily into his lap. Your bare pussy brushes against his bare cock deliciously, your hips moving of their own accord. He stills you again, and carefully unzips your dress and pulls it off of you. His fingers on you are soft but firm, leaving your head spinning and hazy.

You haven’t even had his cock yet, and you’re about ready to combust. Jungkook pushes you on the bed, your tits bouncing with the force of your back hitting the mattress and hovers over you. You pull at his hair a little impatiently and he groans, the sound reverberating across the walls only to ring in your head. You want to hear it again, and again and again.

“Jungkook,” You whine, “Please, bunny, do something. Look at me, look at my pussy, come clean me up-”

“So needy,” Jungkook murmurs and ignores you in favor of kissing your tits, rubbing your nipples with his fingers, “‘M needy for you too, baby.”

“You’re so hard, so big,” You babble, “Please, want your cock, baby.”

Impatient. Jungkook kisses your chest, your belly, your hips and makes you cum on his tongue twice (while you tear up and cry a little bit, gripping his purple locks fiercely and holding onto his shoulder) before letting you stroke his cock. You’re about to push him on his back to blow him with determined eyes, but he stops you.

It appears he’s impatient too, and he wants to see you cream his cock before cumming all over your tits (which has become his favorite place to).

“Jungkook,” You breathe sharply, “There, baby, right there-” You cut yourself off with a groan, stilling your hips and pushing his face into your chest. Jungkook’s groans are muffled against your tits, but you feel the wetness of his lips and the warmth of his tongue over your nipples.

“Shit,” You mumble, “Feels so good-”

“So pretty, baby,” Jungkook coos, pulling away from your tits to look up at you with lust in his eyes, “I’m yours, all yours-”

You groan, bouncing on his cock even harder as a flare of possessiveness flashes across your belly. “Move back,” You say softly, “Lay down. I’m gonna ride you so good, baby.”

Jungkook barely has a chance to catch his breath before your nails are on his chest, trying to hold yourself steady as you push yourself down onto his cock, pulling a deep moan of your name from his lips. His hands are tight on your hips, watching with wide eyes- he doesn’t know where to look, what to do.

He squeezes when one of your hands drifts over his and rests on top of his hand.

“I’m yours, I’m yours,” Jungkook mumbles, “Whatever you want baby, I’m yours-”

“You talk so much,” You say hoarsely, with a wicked smile, “It’s cute.” Your free hand floats upward, resting loosely at the base of his neck. His chain is cold against his heated skin but all he can focus on is the glide of your hand over his neck.

His cock twitches inside you and your smile widens. “Is this okay?” You whisper, “This okay, bunny?”

“Harder,” Jungkook groans, “Fuck, harder, baby.”

“Like this?” You ask innocently, closing your hand around the sensitive spots of his neck. His pretty eyes flutter as he nods, a quiet moan slipping out into the air.

“You’re pretty like this,” You say softly, “Shit, you’re pretty like this…”

He lets out a choked laugh at that. You lean forward, pressing your lips to his hastily. Jungkook thrusts upward, hips meeting your ass but your hand doesn’t leave his neck. Not just yet. You breathe into his mouth, allowing him to swallow your soft whimpers.

You wet your lips with a loud smack and cradle his cheek gently. Jungkook is mesmerized by the heat in your eyes, smoldering and burning through his skin. You let your fingers glide over your clit, gathering wetness and before Jungkook can ask what you're doing-

“Open,” You mumble hoarsely, “Open, bunny.”

Pushing a finger past his chapped lips, you gasp at the sight of him below you with your fingers in his mouth.

You could cum just from watching him. His tongue swirls over your finger before sucking lightly with a pretty flush covering his cheeks. Your eyes widen, another gasp brushing over his cheeks.

“Fuck,” You mumble dreamily, “You’re so good, bunny.”

Your body is burning, jaw slack and the feeling of Jungkook’s bare cock inside of you almost too much to handle. It was wildly irresponsible- he wasn’t wearing a condom and you weren’t on birth control, and it was a conversation for later. But you can’t think, not when it feels this good, not when you’ve had a taste of his cock in this way. Besides, he always pulls out just in time. But still, you both should know better.

“Oh, Jungkook,” You whine, “‘m close, I’m so fucking close, make me cum, bunny-”

“Baby,” Jungkook rasps, “My pretty baby looks so good on my cock like this. My smart, kind, b-beautiful girl, my angel-”

Tears prick your eyes- it’s easy for you to become overwhelmed like this. You tug your hands away and thread your fingers through his, dipping your head for a kiss.

“You like that, angel? You like being mine?” Jungkook murmurs, slowing your hips so he can take over. But he knows you’re close.

“Only yours,” You mumble. Jungkook pulls you into his chest swiftly and flips you so that you’re on your back. He places your legs over his shoulders and brackets your head with his forearms, his necklace just above your nose and his hair tickling your face. But you're mesmerized by the determination and adoration in his eyes.

“Jungkook,” You murmur brokenly, “O-oh, y-yeah, baby, there, mmmf-” You squeeze his biceps with a gasp, watching his face closely. Pushing his hair behind his ears, you cradle his cheek and pull him down for a sweet, long kiss.

His fingers dance across your thighs and rub your clit in slow circles and murmuring soft words of praise in your ear. You’re vaguely aware that your body erupts in a tidal wave of flames, warming you from inside out. You don’t hear anything except for your cries of his name, you don’t see anything but him through your blurry eyes.

“Baby,” Jungkook says through clenched teeth, “O-open your mouth, baby. Fuck, baby, this pussy- I’m gonna cum, baby, fuck-”

You open your mouth with hooded eyes and your tongue lolling out and Jungkook pulls out of you abruptly with a series of curses. He’s not fast enough to get all of his cum in your mouth, some of it landing on your cheek. You swallow his cum with a dopey smile and open your arms for him to bury his face in your tits.

“Fuck, baby,” Jungkook says breathlessly, rolling off of you and pulling you into his side, “This pussy’s gonna be the death of me. Where’d you learn to ride dick like that, huh?”

“I’ll never tell,” You mumble, “Gimme a kiss.”

And so he does, tasting himself on your lips. He kisses you nice and slow, just how you both like after a night like this. Eventually he cleans you up and you do the same for him.

Under the covers with only the shared warmth between your sheets to keep you company, you rest your head on Jungkook’s bicep and look up at him. Your fingers continue tracing patterns on his chest, tracing the swirls and curves of ink as they appear.

Jungkook dips his head to nudge your nose and you softly laugh as his hair falls into your face. “What are you thinking about, baby?” He murmurs, lazily draping an arm over you. By now, you’ve realized that Jungkook is possibly the most vulnerable with you in moments like this. When you’re both bare and basking in a post-sex haze.

That’s not to say that he’s not vulnerable at other times. But it’s just different like this.

You take his hand and thread your fingers through his. His fingers are bare, as you had taken his rings off and they’re currently sitting in your jewelry dish on your dresser.

“We just,” You murmur, “We spent so long being apart. When we should’ve been together. All because I…”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly but gently, “Don’t do that. You’re where you’re supposed to be. We’re where we’re supposed to be.”

“But we wasted so much time not being together because of me,” You mumble forlornly, feeling your throat getting a little dry, “Because I listened to Sora and didn’t-”

“Oh, baby,” Jungkook says, pulling you in for a hug and a forehead kiss, “That’s not true at all. We’re together now, and we both had some growing to do. That’s what matters.”

“Okay,” You reply in a strained voice. You don’t quite sound like you believe him, and Jungkook makes a mental note of that. “Do you feel like… we have lost time to make up for?”

“Do you feel like that?” Jungkook counters, making your heart skip a beat, “Because I don’t. I know it’s hard, baby, but you can’t beat yourself up for that. It’s in the past, baby. Forgive yourself. There’s nothing to race against, it’s just me and you.”

“I’ll try,” You say a little meekly. Jungkook nods and pulls you in for a soft kiss, one that has your toes curling and your belly flipping. He shifts so that you’re tucked into his side, surrounded by him and his hands on your skin. He kisses you until your previous thoughts don’t feel so loud in your head, he whispers to you and pulls sweet laughs from your throat until you can detach from the strange cloud that had suddenly appeared.

He’s your safe place.

*********

MoM TAGS: @tiemeuptogoldenchains @boymeetsparadise @jungkooksseuphoria @kaepjjangiya @drumsofheaven @ppeachyttae @tae-bebe @yiyi4657 @mygscafe @beeeetsandskzreads @maichiverse @hordanhearsawhooo @anonymous2505 @dreadity @mysugarkoo @ULTRAANONYMOUSEY @moonchild1 @fan-ati--c

TAGS: @kookdbean @codeinebelle

[mellowyandere]

One Hell of a Logical Ruse Part 1

Reader: F

Characters: Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead) 

Summary: Shouta loves a good game of cat and mouse, unfortunately for you the game’s a little rigged. This is somewhat of an experiment to try and write a smut scene from the male POV. Disclaimer I am not a man so uh yeah lmao. 

Based off the pre-established fic You’re Ours to Protect. 

Length: 4.5K

Warnings: non-con, yandere themes, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, praise kink

Aizawa Shouta was a rational man. He did his best to adhere to logic, and to never waste time with unnecessary action. And yet despite this, he absolutely loved watching you try to escape. You were pretty clever, even without him “accidentally” forgetting to lock the second story window that just so happened to be above some forgivingly soft shrubbery. 

You probably would have figured some way out on your own, but something feral inside him didn’t want to wait around for you to act. Normally it was his ever-loud husband Hizashi that fell flat when it came to the notion of patience, but today he would relent to his own selfish desires. 

Toshinori would have been utterly distressed had he been aware of the sleepy pros scheme. The number one was a man of swift action, seemingly never thinking twice before charging fist first into danger. He would not be happy Shouta was playing with you like this, but Toshinori and Hizashi wouldn’t be made aware of his little game with you. After all they had no idea he set this up, so they might genuinely try to punish you. He’d keep it quiet once he caught you and pretend it’s your little secret. Maybe you’d even be a little grateful if you believed he was saving your skin.

He rationalized his behavior by telling himself you seemed so bored, truly this was the perfect way to stimulate your mind and body. So when he heard the telltale sound of a body landing in bushes on the back side of the house he simply started a timer for 20 minutes to give you a bit of a head start. 

Was it cruel to get your hopes up like this? Perhaps, but he’d make sure to fuck you senseless to alleviate the disappointment. After all, if you were a good girl you’d have settled into your life with them already. But you really did enjoy testing them, which brought out the side of him that wanted to put you in your place. 

Giving himself a once over he made sure he had everything he would need for your inevitable return home. Well, now that you were basically quirkiness, all he needed was his capture weapon just in case you put up a struggle. He hadn’t decided yet if he was going to fuck you when he caught you, or if he was going to haul your cute ass home first. 

Thinking about plowing into you with adrenaline still pumping through his veins from the hunt had some blood rushing below his belt. Well he could always just do both.

The shrill ringing of his phones alarm brought him back from his wandering thoughts. With a sadistic grin stretching wide across his face he headed for the front door.

-----

Three weeks. Three fucking weeks trapped inside that house with three insane men. Sure they might not beat you or starve you, but the constant belittling, undermining and infantilizing was about to drive you to insanity yourself. You almost jumped for joy when you noticed an unlocked window on the second floor in Hizashi’s and Shouta’s room. The blond man had a bad habit of using too much cologne, and his dark-haired counterpart was always having to air out the room when the radio star went overboard. 

Eraserhead was normally very diligent about ensuring the window was sealed tight, but last night Toshinori had come home in a flurry of smoke and blood, sending his blond junior into hysterics. It was nothing serious, unfortunately, but Shouta had been the one to calm Hizashi and tend to the number ones injuries. Amidst all the ruckus he had left the window unlocked. 

You knew Shouta would soon realize his mistake and lock the window down tight, leaving you with a small time frame to enact your grand escape. It wasn't ideal, but the best you had been able to do was wait for both blonds to leave, trapping you in the house with Shouta. Normally he let you be during the day, opting to nap and grade what appeared to be homework. Hopefully today would seem like just another day, and he wouldn’t think to check on you until dinner approached. 

You found yourself perched on the window sill, ready to take flight. All you had were the clothes on your back, not wanting to make any suspicious noises that would tip you off. On the count of three you braced yourself and pushed off from the ledge, landing on the bushes below with a thud. 

Fuck, that was a bit louder than you had anticipated. Ignoring your growing anxiety, you made quick work of escaping the clutches of the now flattened bush and took off into the woods on the back half of the house. 

Your heart was hammering like mad in your chest as you sprinted as fast as you could. It was hardly fair that it was your first time outside in three weeks and you couldn’t even slow down to take it all in. Thankfully it was spring, meaning you wouldn’t have to worry about the cold. All you needed to do was find someone to get this stupid quirk canceling collar off and then you could safely recede into the background, making sure the three pros never found you again. 

Easier said than done when one of those pros was All Might, and the other two were just as formidable, but you’d be damned if you didn’t try. You did your best to not leave a trail behind, but knew once Shouta figured out you were gone he’d have no trouble tracing your tracks. It was the unfortunately shitty reality you were dealing with. 

Were you really going to be able to escape? Even now as you ran as fast as you could it felt like a fruitless endeavor. There were too many variables that had to line up perfectly in order for you to pull this off, and as you ran directionless through the woods no viable solutions were coming to you. Hell, even now your lungs were burning from exertion, legs begging you to stop. 

But if there was one thing that you were it was stubborn. Stubborn to a fault sometimes, and so you pushed onwards. After what felt like an eternity of non-stop running you slowed to a walk. The forest seemed never ending, taunting you with its sprawling army of trees and shrubbery. You decided to be more mindful of the tracks you were leaving, veering off course in a way that would hopefully go undetected. 

Now no longer running you simply kept your steps quiet and ears alert in case Shouta had already discovered your absence. He was good at his work, but even he had limitations. 

-----

Shouta had to give credit where credit was due, you were better at this than he thought you’d be. If you were his student he’d be proud, but you were his prey so he was a bit annoyed. At first your tracks had been sloppy, easy to follow and incredibly straight forward. At some point though you had changed your approach, footsteps almost vanishing as you adopted a new tactic. 

He found himself crouching low, inspecting leaves to see which you had accidentally broken. There were no more snapped limbs as you carefully maneuvered through the woods. If he wasn’t a pro at hunting people down you probably would have been able to evade him, but this was his livelihood. 

Ever so carefully he followed your almost invisible trail. He had you beat in endurance so you’d have to settle somewhere eventually, and without food and water you were at a distinct disadvantage. Everything was lining up in his favor as he intended, even if you were making this a little harder than expected. 

The anticipation of catching a glimpse of you, of watching you realize he was there and taking off, made his heart beat faster. The longer you evaded him, the more time he had to come up with a fun punishment for you. 

-----

The sun had been directly overhead at the beginning of your escape, and was now kissing the horizon. Oranges and reds were thrown about the woods as the creatures of the night began to wake from their slumber. You listened to see if you could hear the chirping of frogs to find a water source but no luck. 

There was no doubt in your mind that Shouta was 110% aware of your absence by now and was probably hot on your trail. You were zigzagging a bit, trying your best to not disturb the forest floor while making it harder to track you. Dammit this was the fucking worst, it had to have been at least 6 hours in these woods, and without any food or water you were famished. 

And yet despite wandering about for 6 fucking hours you had yet to see anything besides the woods. Maybe you should just give up, sit down and accept defeat and whatever punishment you had awaiting you. You couldn’t help but shiver a bit at the fear of what that would entail. 

As dusk quickly turned dark you debated on whether or not you were going to rest for the night. Visibility would be lower, giving you a slight edge, but Eraserhead was a night owl meaning you were entering his domain of peak performance. There was also no guessing if he was the only one looking for you. All Might could move faster than you could even comprehend and Present Mic was fine-tuned when it came to noise location. 

Sighing in annoyance as your wayward thoughts shot holes through your confidence you decided to find somewhere to try and lay down for a bit. If all three were out hunting you down they could take turns and overlap the time so you never got to rest. As busy as they should be with hero work they always seemed to find too much time to hover around you. 

Spotting some dense shrubbery, you crossed your fingers that any creepy crawlies would keep to themselves and carefully began to conceal yourself. Perhaps one of them would pass by and you could gain some intel. If you were lucky they’d write this area off after not finding you and search elsewhere. 

Settling as comfortably as one could in a bush you closed your eyes and did your best to focus on the sounds around you. The melodic chirping of crickets was the most overwhelming of all the sounds. Skittering of small forest animals echoing around as well. Your mind began to desensitize to those sounds, the lack of adrenaline that pushed you along at the start of all this causing it to dip into unconsciousness. 

That was until you heard the distinct snap of a branch. Eyes flying open you were on high alert as you kept still. You tried to hear if there would be any follow up sounds, knowing something of a decent size had to have broken the branch. If it had been a deer they would have simply kept moving, which made you all the more anxious. 

“No more tracks kitten, I know you’re here somewhere. This little game dragged on a lot longer than I had anticipated so it seems there won’t be any way to hide this from Zashi and Toshinori.” 

You wanted to scream. Even though you had tried your best it simply wasn’t enough against Eraserhead. 

“If you come out kitten I’ll give you one last shot to run. Those bushes over there look like a mighty fine hiding spot for someone of your size.” His voice was pointed directly towards you.

FUCK. You couldn’t tell if he was bluffing or not at this point but he knew you were here, might as well come out with some dignity before he dragged you out kicking and screaming. 

The bush rustled loudly as you forced your way out. You were tired, famished and most of all so frustrated you wanted to cry. You didn’t even need to look at him to know he had a condescending smirk plastered to his face. 

“There’s my pretty kitty, did you have fun outside?”

Shouta knew just what to say to strike a nerve, but you held your tongue. “One last shot to run. You said so yourself. Ditch the capture weapon and catch me like a man, I mean unless you don’t think you can. I’m already quirkiness which is your gimmick on a regular day, so really you're just beating on someone while they're already down.” You looked up now, glaring at him as his smile grew in amusement. 

“I’m going to have to be a lot more physical without it you know, I’ll have no choice but you manhandle you.”

“I’d rather take my chances.” You knew even without his capture weapon you didn’t stand much of a chance of escape. Your only goal now was to try and see how much he was willing to handicap himself. 

“Gonna give me a head start or are you going to just run as soon as I do?”

At this Shouta had to keep himself from snarking back at you. He had already given you a head start, but if he told you this was all set up you’d probably lose the will to fight on. “Five minutes. I’ll give you five minutes to run as far as you can and then I’ll come after you,” he said while pulling out his phone. 

“What about Toshinori and Hizashi?” 

“At the house. I told them I’d handle this, Toshinori will be coming to get us though once I tell him game over. We’re pretty deep in the woods and I don’t feel like walking back for six hours.”

You nodded at his words. So it was just the two of you then. Your combat skills were nothing to write home about, but maybe if you fought dirty you could gain the upper hand. 

“Alright, tell me when.”

“Oh, I already started it. You have 4 minutes and 17 seconds.”

Fucking asshole. You took off sprinting, running as fast as you could, only opting to slow to a jog once you thought you were out of earshot. You wanted him to believe you’d be trying your damndest to put distance between the two of you. But you knew you’d never outrun him. Instead you were going to continue jogging for a bit, counting down the seconds in your head so you didn’t lose track your timer. 

Once your remaining time was up you were going to lay low and try to ambush him. He wouldn’t be paying as close attention to your trail since he knew he could easily catch up. 

After the remaining 4 minutes had passed you found a decent sized tree to hide behind and worked on slowing down your breathing. It felt like your heart was going to chisel its way straight through your bones, your limbs trembling with anxiety. It wasn’t often you were hunted back when you were an anti-hero. Not many people knew who you were which made it incredibly easy to be looked over. 

Scooping up handfuls of dirt you waited. You heard him before you saw him. He wasn’t bothering to take it slow, seemingly eager to get it over with. He ran right past you, noticing you a second too late as dirt and debris were chucked straight into his face. 

He yelled out in surprise, hands reaching out to grab you but you jumped out of reach. True to his word his capture weapon was nowhere in sight. Screaming in anger you lunged at him, nails attempting to claw his face but his own larger hands were working on wiping off your dirt assault, effectively blocking you.  

He stumbled back a bit, unprepared for your hostility, before steadying himself and turning the tables back on you. In one swift motion his fist collided with your gut, forcing the air from your lungs. Your arms came down to protect where he had hit as you wheezed pathetically. Seconds later his larger frame came crashing into you, easily knocking you to the ground. 

You cried out in pain, head hitting the ground a bit too hard as stars danced behind your eyes.

“Not very smart of you Y/N, I mean it beats trying to outrun me, but really? Dirt? It’s like you want me to punish you or something.”

“GET OFF ME!” 

Placing a hand on the back of your head he pushed you down while his other arm pulled the lower half of your body flush against him. You could feel his erection pressing up against your ass.

You were a snarling sobbing mess at this point. All your emotions crashing down at once as you thrashed below Shouta.

“Easy now easy, calm down kitten. You did really good, better than I thought you were going to. If you calm down I might be willing to reduce your punishment, but you have to stop throwing a fit first.”

Despite his words Shouta was enjoying almost every second of your thrashing. The only thing he didn’t enjoy was knowing how disappointed you were right now. Anyone would be after coming so far. Now was his chance to make it up to you before giving Toshinori the go ahead. 

As your struggles subsided the only movement from your body was from your gentle sobs. Shouta for his part was slowly grinding his hard cock against your ass as he softly shushed you. 

“I know you’re disappointed kitten but I’ll make you feel better. If you’re a good girl for me I’ll be willing to look past that little dirt tactic. You’re such a smart girl though, you really did catch me by surprise.”

Leaning down he began to whisper into your ear, removing the hand from your head and bringing it down to your clothed pussy. 

“You always were resourceful, it’s one of the things I fell in love with about you. If only you were a hero, but then again if you were I wouldn’t have had the fun of hunting you down.”

You felt your stomach drop at his words. All three of them enjoyed reminiscing about how they first saw you and all their subsequent actions that lead to your imprisonment. The effort they had put into bringing you “home”. It was beyond disturbing. 

“Please Shouta, not here. Can we, can we just go home first?”

“Maybe if I had found you 4 hours ago, but right now you’re treading on very thin ice. Be a good girl for me and I’ll make sure Hizashi and Toshinori don’t punish you too harshly when we get back.”

His large hand was pawing at your clothed sex, black hair draping over your own face as his body curled around you. He slowly rutted against you, excited huffs of air ghosting across the side of your face. You could practically feel his heart vibrating against your back he was so worked up. 

He gently rubbed his stubble against the side of your face, composure slipping a bit. While Shouta absolutely loved how feisty you could be, nothing compared to when you submitted to him. He craved the feeling of your tired body giving in to his ministrations, but he needed more. 

His hand quickly slipped between your pants and underwear, index finger eagerly aiming for your folds. He couldn’t care less that you were sweaty and dirty from the hunt. Right now all he could think about was the softness of your exposed flesh, and much to his delight, the slight wetness to your outer lips. 

“Seems like someone likes being caught more than they let on hmm kitten?”

He couldn't help but taunt you a bit, loving the way you sniffled and whimpered beneath him. You knew when to behave yourself, when to be good for him. Arousal was flooding his veins. The way it felt to rub himself against your perfect ass, even through layers of clothes, had his mind blanking out. 

Your core was warm, even without him dipping a finger inside. Gently he began to delve deeper, gathering up your arousal to spread around. Your pants were starting to bother him a bit, retracting his hands he made quick work of not only your bottoms, but his as well. You remained still for him, opting to sulk like a child as he prepared to ravish you. 

You were too cute like this, and with the lower half of your body on full display he couldn't help but groan in delight. Bringing a hand down he slapped your ass hard, mesmerized by the way your flesh gave way. You yelped in surprise, body rutting forward. His cock twitched as he palmed your sore flesh, cooing softly in apology. You glared back at him, pretty little face set in a pout.

As much as he wanted to slap your ass until you cried for him to stop he restrained himself. Although this was a punishment, he had set you up. He would go easy on you, not forgetting his promise to himself to help you forget the frustration you were feeling right now. 

Whenever you got angry you opted to stop talking, instead waiting for a moment of weakness to strike or quietly accept your fate. Judging by your defeated expression he could safely assume the latter 

Folding himself over you he brought his hand back down to your pussy, thumb working slow circles on your clit while he middle finger delved deeper. Your entrance was a bit tight, but with gentle persistence he worked his way inside. 

Your velvety inner walls clamped down on him. He couldn’t help but rut his aching cock against your bare ass as his mind drifted to the feeling of you clamping down on his arousal instead. Your whines of protest only further spurring on his overwhelming need to be inside you. 

Adding a second finger he began to pump into you with a bit more urgency. Your slick was quickly coating his hand as he hit all the spots he knew would work you up to your orgasm. Groaning in delight he brought his lips to your exposed neck, sucking and nipping at your soft flesh. 

He loved when he could tell you were getting close. Your warm walls would clamp down on him, breathy mewls and moans escaping your soft lips. You were rocking back into him, uncaring of the fact that you were grinding against him as you chased your release. In these moments you abandoned your resolve to fight against him, and he happily took advantage of that. After all, if your body knew what you wanted, surely your mind would catch up one day.

Your moans were more audible now, hands grasping at the forest floor. Your back was arched into him, desperate to use him. So close, you were so close he knew it, and right before you could finish he pulled his hand away. He laughed as you huffed in frustration. 

“Shouta pl-please.” Fuck, he loved it when you begged. It didn’t happen often with how stubborn you were but when it did he knew he had to comply. 

Instead of verbally responding he opted to do what he wanted to all night long. Lining up the tip of his cock to your entrance he groaned at the heat radiating off you. Pumping his hand along his length a couple times to lube himself up with your excess fluid he pushed the tip in. You stilled beneath him, and in one swift movement he fully sheathed himself. 

His mind went blank as you cried out in pleasure, wet walls convulsing around him as your orgasm tore through you. He held still, opting to gently pet you while cooing softly down at you. Before he met you, even with Hizashi, he had never been very vocal during sex. But now he couldn’t stop himself from babbling a bit, praising you for being such a good girl. 

As your body stilled in his arms he continued to plant kisses along your delicate neck. Your soft sniffles made his heart clench a bit, how was it possible for you to be so damn cute? 

“Alright kitten now it’s my turn. No pulling anything stupid, I won’t take long.”

This whole hunt had been one giant tease, working him up in a way he normally wouldn’t allow himself. Pulling out he groaned at the feeling of his cock sliding against you. Moving his hands he grabbed your waist, eyes transfixed on where you were joined. Your back was arched as you braced yourself on your elbows, presenting yourself to him. 

His mind clouded over, blood opting to drag his attention elsewhere. He began to push back in, desperate to feel you surrounding him. Setting a tempo he pulled about halfway out before slamming back in, loving the way your body moved as you bounced off him. 

His hands dug into your supple flesh, possibly leaving bruises. He could feel the oncoming of his own orgasm, the muscles in his lower abdomen pulsating. He was panting, heart racing in his rib cage as his eyes rolled back into his head. He didn’t have the patience to edge himself today, he needed this, needed you.

He loved hearing the way your breath was forced from your lungs when he fully sheathed himself inside you. He knew he was overstimulating you a bit, but the part of him that needed to find his own release didn’t pay that fact much mind. All he could think about was the way it felt to be one with you, lost inside your soft warmth.  

After only a couple more minutes of relentlessly pounding into you he couldn’t hold it back any longer. A wave like sensation rushed through his body as his hips stuttered. He folded over you, wrapping his arms around you as he felt his hot cum rush through his cock and fill your body. The emotions rushing through him as he released into you, the woman he loved, were indescribable.

It didn’t take long for his muscles to relax, euphoria swept away by the need to take a nap washing over him. You had long since stopped crying, remaining motionless beneath him. He wondered what was going through your mind as he held you flush against him.

“Sho-Shouta.” So meek, so quiet. His heart fluttered a bit. “Can we go home now... I want to take a shower.”

Chuckling softly he pulled himself out, groaning a bit at the feeling of overstimulation as your warm walls dragged against him. Leaning away he smiled as his cum leaked out your pussy. 

“Yes kitten we can go home. I’ll make sure to clean you up.”

You groaned in protest, hating when they insisted on washing you. He knew you liked your privacy but Hizashi and Toshinori were still going to want to punish you. He’d keep close by to keep them from being too harsh. 

Pulling up his pants he fished his phone out of his pocket, rolling his eyes at the sheer quantity of missed calls from the two aforementioned. Poor little kitten, it didn’t look like you’d be getting off easy. 

[himaboroshi736]

IronDad fic recs

Here. I’m a french reader, but I’ve read A LOT (like...a lot) of IronDad, so, eventually, here my fic rec. (I tried to class it by categories, but well...) (it’s gonna be very long, guys)

 Peter Parker has anxiety 

Don’t let me get me, by hopeless_hope 

He picks up his phone and sends a quick text. "hey, happy! i’m not feeling too hot today, so i think i’m gonna have to cancel. tell mr. stark i’m sorry!"

He stares at his phone, waiting for a response. It never comes, and Peter sighs sadly. There was a part of him, a small part, that really hoped he was wrong. His insides burn, and he curls up tighter into a ball and turns off his phone.

(No one’s going to try to contact him anyway.)

or

Anxiety has a way of convincing Peter that everyone hates him. Tony has a way of proving him wrong.

Midnight Oil, by @jolinarjackson

After everything that has happened to Peter over the last year - or five, really - he shouldn’t be worried about something as mundane as the ACT. When he fails it, though it sends him into a spiral of self-doubt, which only gets worse when Peter realizes that he doesn’t seem to be able to fix whatever is broken.

Tony Stark has anxiety 

do you even remember what the world looks like ?, by @iron--spider

Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.

Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.

“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.

Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.

not like megatron, by @iron--spider

“Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”

Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.

He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.

“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.

Hypothermia trope (i really like it so if you have any suggestions...)

i knock the ice from my bones, by hopeless_hope

Peter tries to move his legs through the water, dread filling him when they don’t move, and he just hangs there, doing anything and everything he can not to focus on the feeling of ice clinging to his bones. He feels sluggish, the world blurring around him, and he rests his head on the ice, not even registering the cold anymore.

He’s just so damn tired.

“PETER!” he hears someone yell, but it’s all muffled, and he lazily drags his eyes up to see a figure descending towards him.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thinks, This is not how my vacation was supposed to go.

or

While on what's supposed to be a relaxing vacation with the Starks, things for Peter quickly go south, and he finds himself on thin ice. Literally.

Ice Ice Baby, by @wolfypuppypiles

If Tony, Bucky or pretty much anybody that knew Peter had seen him that morning they would have smacked him upside the head. Helping people was great, everyone should give it a go, but when helping people puts you in danger it’s not so smart anymore.

AKA Peter can't get from Avenger tower to the subway without giving his winter clothes to homeless people and ends up with a severe case of hypothermia

Candle in the Window, by @madasthesea

Finals are over and Peter just wants to go home. The weather has other ideas.

Burn This Out, by @ephemeralstark

It's summer and Peter is free to be Spider-Man all day which is great, but it's summer and Peter is out as Spider-Man on the hottest day of the year which is not great.

Or, Peter gets heat stroke because he can't thermoregulate and things could not go worse for him.

(yeah, it’s not an hypothermia, but it’s linked to the fact that Peter can’t actually thermoregulate)

Post-Endgame (really like this trope too lmao)

the first birthday after, by iron_spider 

(Endgame spoilers. But The Thing doesn't happen.)

The rain falls harder and Tony turns, his neck creaking and cracking, and he sees Peter asleep over by the window. He’s holding a small, flat box, and he’s slowly slipping to the right side of the easy chair he’s in.

Tony thinks about letting him sleep, but he finds himself speaking anyway. “Pete,” he says, his voice rough and raspy.

Peter immediately startles awake. “Happy Birthday,” he says, almost like he’d fallen asleep practicing it, planning to say it as soon as he woke up. He blinks at Tony, shivering a little bit, and then he smiles. “Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday.”

Tony snorts, smiling back. “Thanks, bud,” he says.

Second Best, by Rowan_M

Tony had adjusted to parenthood quickly when Morgan came along, and was always conscious of making sure Peter isn't left out ... Almost always. When Peter gets hurt while taking care of Morgan, Tony obsess over his daughter and takes his anger out on Peter, without even checking to see if he was okay. Steve finds Peter later that night in serious pain and in need of immediate medical attention.

Or, Peter gets hurt while taking care of Morgan and Tony basically ignores him.

when you’re feeling empty keep me in your memory, by JkWriter

after everything with thanos he forgets it's his birthday. he just assumed everyone else did too.

All For You, by @ironxprince

Three weeks after the snap that saved the world, Peter learns he was the reason behind it. He learns that Tony risked death, and now has to live with the ramifications, both physical and mental, all because of him.

This doesn't sit right with him.

you save everybody, but who saves you ?, by @iron--spider

Tony doesn’t sleep, because he can’t, because too many things are plaguing him, most of all where Peter is and what he’s doing. Tony has a good view of the hallway through the windows to his room, and he stares and stares until his eyes cross, until he hallucinates, until he knows he’s going insane.

He sees Peter sneaking into the med bay at about four in the morning.

The kid’s mask is off and he’s got two short, harsh slashes across his cheek, and he’s bleeding from a slice across his neck. His suit is ripped in a few places and he’s holding onto his middle, and Tony can see his hands are shaking.

It’s like something splinters in Tony’s already broken brain, like his world narrows and there are hazy edges, both weakness and strength entwining in his veins when he sees Peter struggle up onto one of the beds in the main atrium, starting to tend his wounds without calling anybody to help.

BAMF Peter Parker 

Pizza, a Movie, and... an Attempted Kidnapping ?, by Pogokitten

“Tony. We’ll be fine,” Peter tells the man for what must be the tenth time in the last half hour.

Peter’s sitting on the couch of his and May’s apartment and building Legos with Morgan as they both watch their father’s methodical, yet anxious, pacing. He’s dressed to impress, as is Pepper who is watching the scene slightly exasperated.

“Are you sure? We can ditch the gala, kid. Just say the word,” Tony offers, halting in front of his kids.

Or: Tony and Pepper leave Peter in charge of Morgan while they go to their first gala since the third snap. Peter is expecting a calm night in with his adopted sister, but some thugs throw a wrench in his plans.

he’s good like that, by @iron--spider

“Get the hell outta here, boy,” the man says. “Or you’re gonna watch your boss die in front of you.” Then he grabs Tony by the shoulders hard, and shoves him down to his knees. The gun is louder now, like it’s filled with words that are eager to be shouted, and Tony winces when he feels the barrel press against the back of his neck. His knees weren’t ready to hit the ground that hard, and he tries to keep the pain from reaching his face.

He must fail, because Peter looks pissed.

“You’re not gonna shoot him, mister,” Peter says, somehow still trying to maintain a respectful tone, despite the clear anger written all over him.

stark robotics and technology conference, by @iron--spider

Peter leans against the wall while Tony chooses their floor, and the doors close. “Do you, uh, want me to do some interning stuff? Like go and get you coffee? Make sure the, uh—programs are all ready? Make sure the paintings are straight in the ballroom? Make sure the chairs are—”

Tony snorts. “Kid, I just thought you’d enjoy this. May told me about when it came through Queens but you two couldn’t make it because she was working and didn’t want you to go alone, and I thought, after all the shit you’ve been through lately, that you deserved something fun. No interning for you. That’s just an excuse.”

Peter remembers that. It was six months after Ben died, and he wasn’t gonna bother May too much about the conference. He didn’t know how much tickets cost anyways, or if kids his age could even go.

He really hung onto the idea of Iron Man after Ben died. Peter held him closer than ever.

Peter and Tony fighting 

dinner and a jailbreak, by killerqueenwrites

“I’m not your kid!” Peter shouts.

“Don’t walk away from me, I’m not done–“

“You’re not my dad!”

Peter fitting in after the Blip isn't as easy as Tony hoped it would be. He wants his kid back, but they can't seem to stop fighting.

and then Peter goes missing.

my old man, by parkrstark 

"I just want to help you. I want to help you understand what's wrong here and how to stop it. I used to be the same way until my father showed me how to be a man." He glanced back at Peter to sneer. "He's old enough to know better by now, but it's not your fault you didn't know how to teach him." "Teach him what?" Tony asked even though he didn't want to know the answer.

"Discipline, of course," Junior said with a wink.

--

Tony takes Peter on a weekend trip to try and change his mind about college and things go wrong. Then, they go even more wrong.

Between how it is and how it should be, by @frostysunflowers

''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''

Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''

Soulmates trope 

presumed dead, by killerqueenwrites 

Tony gets his first soulmark when he’s fifteen, his second when he's thirty. He's forty-six when his third appears, and forty-eight when it fades to grey.

did you see the flares in the sky ?, by justt-ppeachy

‘hi’  

One simple word was displayed proudly on the inside of his right wrist. Tony wasn’t sure when this word showed up or how long it had been there.

A line formed underneath the word and Tony could almost feel the pressure on his arm from the marker his soulmate was using to push one phrase from their skin into his.

‘i loev yu’

The letters were written slowly and messily as they showed up upon his wrist while he watched in disbelief. Not sure if he was hallucinating or just going insane, Tony rubbed at the writing, wondering if they would disappear once he looked again.

The words were barely recognizable, but they were still the best thing Tony had ever seen.

IronDad Fluff (yeah)

peter wearing tony’s hoodie, by killerqueenwrites 

Tony’s used to his clothes going missing. His MIT hoodie doesn’t often leave his closet, though, which is why he notices its absence straight away. There’s a lifetime of safety and comfort in this old hoodie, for both of them, and that’s all Tony could ever wish to give Peter.

Career Day, by @superhusbands4ever

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Peter’s enhanced senses picked up the familiar voice from outside the door. “I had a meeting this morning and then I got lost looking for the class… anyway, I’m here for Peter? Peter Parker?”

He frowned at hearing his name, still unsure what exactly was going on. He watched as his teacher continued to stand and stare out the door for a minute before seemingly remembering herself and taking a step back.

“Of course! If you could just go sit next to him until your turn, he’s in the back on the right side.”

The man stepped through the door and Peter gaped with the rest of the class as Tony Stark, in his signature suit and goatee, sporting a pair of red sunglasses and carrying a suitcase walked through the door.

Kryptonite, by forensicleaf 

The kid is acting weird.

Tony tries to figure it out.

father’s day, by @iron--spider 

It’s Father’s Day, and Tony never really had a father. Not in the real sense of the word, not in the way that counts.

Peter Parker doesn’t have a father, either. Not anymore, anyway, not since he was little, and the amount of years that have passed since then outweigh the amount of time he got with Richard Parker.

Tony wouldn’t call himself Peter’s dad. He wouldn’t, he doesn’t, he doesn’t think of himself that way, no way, no way.

He stares at himself in the mirror. He pulls down on his cheeks, makes his eyes water. He runs his hands over the roughness of his jaw and sorta hates everything about himself right now, because he’s acting like a goddamn idiot. It’s Father’s Day and he’s not a father. He doesn’t know why the hell he’s pining for something that isn’t his, shouldn’t be his, can never be his. He isn’t a father, he isn’t Peter’s father, so there’s no reason on God’s green earth for Peter and him to do something for Father’s Day.

ain’t no valley low enough, by @iron--spider (yes, again, ‘cuz she’s the best)

Peter snorts. “You know I didn’t apply anywhere in Florida.”

“Please, kid, you know all you have to do is write a beautiful essay with my recommendation attached to it and you’re in. You’ve got the scores.”

Peter has a list. Of all the places he applied to, all the places he got into. A lot of it was encouraged by the adult role models in his life, some of it by Ned daydreaming about places like California and Colorado. Mostly, Peter just applied everywhere he could think of, because he’s known for a long time that Tony was gonna help May pay for it, and he didn’t wanna limit his options. Thinking about college has been strange for him, strange to the extent that he had a full blown panic attack about it in the middle of Avengers taco night last month. He can’t really understand it, doesn’t get why it feels like the end of the world—because he’s experienced the end of the world, and it’s not which campus has a bowling alley and which school has circus classes. But he nearly blacked out all the same, sobbed in Tony’s arms on the balcony until Tony proposed this. The road trip.

and when it’s hard, i’ll place your head into my hands, by hopeless_hope

“Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”

“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”

“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.

or

It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)

Peter likes cuddles (and Tony too, but he always denies it... until he can’t)

my arms will hold you (keep you safe and warm), by parkrstark 

“So, you’re telling me your body...is going through Oxytocin withdrawals?” Tony asked slowly.

“Cuddle withdrawals,” Peter corrected him. “Mr. Stark cuddles.”

TW : Rape/non-cons

make me strong, by parkrstark 

It all started when Tony introduced Peter to Skip Westcott. He just didn't know until it was too late.

(There is a lot more, but I can’t find it rn ;-;)

5+1 

5 times peter clung to tony, by parkrstark 

... and the one time tony clung to him.

You are my Dad, you’re my dad, boogiewoogiewoogie, by Hittinmiss

“Peter? What’s going on kid?” Tony asked, him popping up on the phone’s screen.

“Hey da-” Peter started automatically before immediately noticing his mistake, the look on Ned’s face proved that yes, he almost called Tony Stark dad. He needed to try recover quickly because the look on Tony’s face seemed confused, especially with his slight pause. “-aaaaaamn Mr. Stark I really like your shirt. Where’d you get it?”

Smooth.

---

5 times Peter called Tony Dad and the 1 time Tony called himself Dad

5 Times Tony Took Care of Peter..., by As_Clear_As_Crystal 

“Think if I coded a sign into your suit that says ‘Baby on Board,’ maybe criminals wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about murdering you?” Tony asks airily, poking at the bottom of Peter’s foot.

Peter halfheartedly kicks at Tony with his toe. (“That’s offensive, Mr. Stark.” )

- - -

aka: Five times Tony took care of Peter, and one time Peter took care of Tony.

5 times Peter is stuck with Tony, by @iron--spider

(...and one time he’s stuck alone.)

“I wonder if Pepper’s reported me missing yet,” Tony says, with an exaggerated sigh. “I wonder if this is some kind of scheme to kidnap me or something.”

“I think the ride’s just broken,” Peter says.

“Today of all goddamn days,” Tony says, exasperation clear in his voice and in his eyes. “Ruining our trip—”

“It’s not ruined,” Peter says. “Look, we’re hanging out."

“Real quality time,” Tony huffs. “Us, a few other trapped members of the general public, and a handful of animatronic pirates. Drunk pirates. Repeating themselves.”

5 times tony forgot peter was just a kid, by @parkrstark

...and the 1 time he didn't.

Or the one where it was hard for Tony to remember that the kid fighting next to him was still just a kid.

can i get a good night’s sleep ? can i PLEASE get a good night’s sleep ?, by peterstank 

The doors open and there’s Peter, perched on a gurney with his shirt gone and a whole lot of blood staining his side. He’s bent awkwardly, clearly trying to feel his way around whatever wound he’s got.

“Um,” Tony says, approaching, “What.”

Peter looks up and—yeah, he’s lost a lot more blood than Tony had originally thought. His face is completely fucking drained. “Hey,” he says, offering a jaunty wave before returning his attention to his side. “I got shot.”

“Oh!” Tony nods. “Oh, okay. What the fuck, kiddo?”

or: five times peter doesn’t sleep + the one time he does

Five Times Peter and Tony Had Each Other’s Back, by Sahiya

... and One Time They Needed Help.

Peter is Tony’s Biological Child

I Had the Dream Again, by Skeeter_110

Peter calls Tony in the middle of the night crying.

Congratulations, it’s a Boy, by capiocapi 

"Sir, I have the results.”

“Okay, Jarvis. Hit me.”

“It’s a match. 99.9% chance that he is your biological son, which is the percentage needed to be recognized by law as a biological parent.”

Tony’s stomach did a funny swooping dance. “Great. Congratulations to me then, eh? It’s a boy.”

You Are My Sunshine, by @iamconstantine

Tony Stark had always been a man of science and he always would be. It was his personal and fundamental belief that everything had an explanation. His eventual encounters with Norse gods, alien life, and sorcerers did kind of quake this a little bit, but still.

One thing that had always confounded him as the one thing that had no scientific explanation was fate. Murphy’s law, Finagle’s law, the butterfly effect, the domino effect, the snowball effect, and the wisest of all: “Shit happens.”

So how peculiar was it that one of the greatest things to ever happen to him began with a tray of champagne?

Serie i love you more than anything, by @iron--spider 

The highs and lows of Tony unexpectedly becoming a single dad at 31– from Peter’s early baby years, all the way past the defeat of Thanos

May’s abusive boyfriend trope 

A Peter Parker Problem, by @spagbol99

Peter Parker was back from the dead. At least that is what everybody told him. He'd been snapped out of existence until some sort of time travel and an active death wish by his mentor had saved him and the universe. Just your average sort of life for a 16 year old from Queens.

Peter comes back to find May has a husband and a kid. A new family he has to fit into. But he has done it before, he can do it again.

The only thing that feels solid is Tony: the Blip and fatherhood have mellowed him and Peter loves the bond they have now. He knows Tony would be there for him through anything. But Tony needs to focus on his own recovery - not small time Peter Parker problems. When things at home take a turn for the worse, Peter decides that he'll handle it himself. He is Spider-man. He's been to space and fought aliens. He can get through anything. After all, if May is happy, he is happy, right? Right?

(again, I’ve read a lot more but can’t find it...)

Peter Parker Whump (everyone’s favorite trope)

Danger Pizza, by alice_in_ink

The window was pushed open, and Iron Man’s head popped into his bedroom. “Here’s where I’m confused—why lock the front door but leave the fire-escape-accessible windows unlocked?” He clambered through said window. “Seems like a safety hazard.”

Peter eyed the metal suit as it straightened to a standing position. “Did you break into my window to kill me?”

The face plate lifted, and Tony’s eyes quickly looked over the teen. “Christ, kid. It looks like you’re halfway there.”

...

A wild night on patrol leaves Peter with a broken back, and boy, does he want to be able to move without dying. (So he calls Anthony Stark, obviously.)

If You Can’t Catch A Breath (You Can Take The Oxygen Straight Out Of My Own Chest), by @losingmymindtonight

"And I would hurry. Little Peter is about to be under quite a lot of pressure, and it might get a little hard to breathe.”

I’ve Got You, by @thedumbestavenger

Peter runs into a Copycat Vulture out on patrol, from there, everything escalates.

Meetings and Migraines, by AllThingsGeeky

Peter has another migraine at an unfortunate time and despite his best efforts he can’t ignore it forever.

The Most Important Thing In The World, by S0lstice

Peter’s door creaked and began to bend under the force of the crowbar and for the first time since regaining consciousness, fear began to press into him. Something very bad was happening and it was happening fast - too fast for his sluggish mind to keep up.

He went with his instincts instead, the first one always being, Help Mr. Stark.

Friendly Fire, by @jolinarjackson

Finding a careful truce with the government, the “rogue Avengers” are allowed to return to the Compound where they are put under house arrest. Peter coming to spend one week at the Compound during his summer break couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time as the opportunity to bond a little more with his mentor is overshadowed by a conflict he doesn’t quite understand. When he starts to develop a mysterious medical condition, however, the former team is forced to work together – not just to protect Peter’s identity from the DODC, but also to find the cause for his illness before it’s too late.

“He’s my kid,” Tony said, his voice hoarse. “He’s my kid and I failed him.” He covered his eyes and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. “All I ever do is fail him.” Natasha knelt down in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, waiting for him to meet her eyes before she said, “Right now, he doesn’t need you to fix this. He doesn’t need you down here. He needs you over there, in the medbay, by his side.” She thumbed tears from the corners of his eyes and ignored the ones running down her own face. “You haven’t failed him yet.”

alarm bells and panic levels, by @iron--spider

Tony lands heavy on the dock, the wood splintering hard under the metal suit. He’s having trouble breathing, his nose is bleeding, he most definitely has more than the recommended amount of broken ribs. But none of that fucking matters. The sky is clear, the assholes are down, but there’s one thing missing.

He looks over his shoulder when Rhodey lands too. His suit is dented in a few places but other than that he looks alright. His face mask flips up and Tony lets his mask retract.

“Where’s Peter?” Tony asks, his voice rough with the amount of yelling he’s been doing. Fuck these stupid assholes. They were supposed to go mini-golfing today. The kid had been looking forward to it for weeks.

Rhodey looks around, breathing hard through his mouth. “I thought you knew.”

there’s something wrong, by @iron--spider

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Tony whispers. “We should have checked you for something like this when we were resetting your arm and checking on the concussion. Goddamnit. We didn’t think.”

“He poisoned us both?” Peter asks, trying to open one eye to look at him.

“Yeah,” Tony says, brushing Peter’s hair back from his forehead. “He’s dying. He got the brunt of it, a nice fucking cocktail of bullshit, including mercury and a bunch of other toxic shit—”

“Am I dying?” Peter whispers, voice breaking.

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces), by aloneintherain

Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”

The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”

Collections/Series (’cause I could make an inventory of all @iron--spider stories, you know, but you have to read all of her work, if you haven’t yet) (God she doesn’t even know who I am)

iron dad bingo, by @iron--spider

stay at home, by @iron--spider

whumptober, by @iron--spider

Whumptober 2019, by @marvelous-writer

Day in the life of the Iron Family, by @marvelous-writer 

The Tumblr Archives, by @losingmymindtonight

Everything comes back to you, by @losingmymindtonight

Nice work, kid, by @madasthesea

Irondad Bingo 2019, by sahiya 

The Adventures of Spidy-son and Iron-dad, by eva7673

Tony adopts Peter (why everyone kills May, btw ?)

Accepting the Tides, by @emma--anacortes

Tony had dragged Peter from the depths of despair after May's death. It was normal that he'd grown to care a little about him, right?

Yeah, okay. He freaking loved the kid.

So naturally he would feel a little weird when Richard Parker randomly shows up in Peter's life. Naturally he'd feel protective, nervous, and confused because where has Richard been all this time? And why does Tony feel sick every time he sees him around Peter?

All he knows is if Richard hurts his kid, Tony's gonna give him hell.

Series Out of Darkness, by @starryknight09

“Is this Peter Parker?”

“Yes…”

“This is Dr. Nguyen. I’m sorry but your aunt’s been in an accident and we’re going to need you to come to Queens Memorial as soon as you can.”

Peter's life shatters with a phone call. The last person he expects helps him pick up the pieces.

[msgrumpygills]

So I’m kind of new to the fandom. I’ve been casually watching the show for a couple years now but only recently got into the fandom side. And I have to say, never in my life have I seen so much drama and toxicity in one place. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m enjoying the drama though lol.

Before I start though, I personally believe you can make anyone sound problematic if you try hard enough, we’ve all done and said stupid things, but when you decide to become famous you should be ready to be held accountable for the smallest things, not saying it’s right. It’s just how things are unfortunately.

So far I’ve decided that I just don’t like Jared and Danneel,did you know she used the same bullying tactics that Jared has used? I saw a screenshot from her story where she called someone out for... being mean to her? I can only hope the poor girl is ok after her dms were most likely flooded with angry stans. And she just seems so tacky, it’s really obvious if you take a look at her tweets from a decade ago, this woman does not have the potential or capacity to be any kind of famous.And honestly I think one of your anons were right about J2 being trumpies, especially Jared, I was looking for dirt on him and the guy said in a tweet that cracker is a slur? So far everyone I’ve met who had those kind of ideologies turned out to be somewhat of a racist so idk. As for Jensen, he seems to be a bit smarter in the sense that he knows when to stay quiet, but I think he’s probably the same as Jared. I think I remember him making a joke right alongside Jared when he was making that chloroform rape joke. And I think he said the N-word in his last panel with Jared? I think it was a fan’s name. I’ve been told he got the name right the first time and then practically said the N-word the second time around. I do think J2 are closet republicans who are trying to seem progressive because that’s what sells these days.

And Gen, she just seems so... uninteresting? Like I have no desire to know anything about her, unlike the others. But your blog helped out a bit with that. I still think she’s boring and uninteresting lol. I honestly think she should’ve just tried to get a role without Jared’s help. It probably would’ve been real hard, but earning a role through nepotism will not help her career if she decides to ever have one again. But then again, I remember thinking her acting paled in comparison to Katie Cassidy’s, who also played the character Ruby the season before Gen came along. So good luck to her I guess lmao.

So far the only one I’m unsure about is Misha? I mean you’ve got the hardcore Jared stans and the hardcore Misha stans, from what I’ve seen, both sides are extremely biased, and frankly, they all look like idiots from the outside, and they both have completely different beliefs. But you seem to be a bit more level headed, so I thought I’d ask you,tell me all the dirt. What are some of the shitty things he’s done? And I’m sorry this got so long.

The Supernatural fandom is one of the worst fandoms to be in. One of the big reasons that I stopped watching the show was because of the fans, I’ll be honest. But yeah, it is kinda fun to watch the drama, as long as you’re at a distance and safe! 

I absolutely agree that anyone can be problematic. Hell, if I became famous and people found my old tweets or Facebook posts, even Tumblr posts, I’d probably be “cancelled” or called out. I’m not a terrible person, but we’ve all been young and dumb and we’ve all been embarrassing, that’s just part of life. 

Danneel has absolutely been a bitch, there’s really no nice way of saying it. Fans have had horrible experiences with her in real life too. I think if she was more active on social media again, she’s still be showing her true colors, but she’s not active really.  I do remember Jared’s “cracker” controversy and like....I try not to be political, but really dude? I’m white and I don’t consider cracker to be racist or a slur. It’s ridiculous to me? I’m no History major, but I don’t recall people using cracker to describe white people who were considered “lower than” others. 

Jensen is overall a lot smarter than Jared, but he has made mistakes still. The difference is that Jensen apologizes, he holds himself accountable, and he changes his behavior to make sure that he doesn’t make those mistakes again. No one is perfect, but at least Jensen can own up, take responsibility and change. Jared....well we know Jared.

Gen is....well you said you’ve seen my blog, and there are other “antis” here who can shed even more light. She’s uninteresting but thinks she’s the bee’s knees. 

Don’t be sorry about the message getting long! I’m famous for being long-winded, so you’re among friends! 

Misha is......Misha. His fans are absolutely insane (I know there are some normal ones) so any sort of negative backlash against him is usually buried. I’ve made a few posts about him and why I stopped really being a fan of his, but I will try to summarize! 

I started getting kind of turned off to him around the 2016 election because he was bombarding social media with politics and I just wasn’t there for it. A lot of fans came after me for that but that’s their prerogative. I actually started seeing some anti posts on here and went down a rabbit hole of things that I’d looked past or didn’t know about that all mounted up. Some of those things are; (I don’t have links for everything because the one blog that had compiled everything together isn’t active anymore, but someone might have screenshots!) Also in no particular order!

Misha admitting to leering at kids at a playground while preparing for his role in Karla. 

Having his young female fanbase send him pictures of themselves only wearing cheese bikinis or kale swimsuits, etc. for GISHWHES. I know some people think “it’s just a goofy scavenger hunt” but if it wasn’t Misha Collins, would you want your barely legal sister sending pictures of her only wearing cheese to a 40 something year old man? 

His constant blatant disrespect for Jensen and his aversion to Destiel, his baiting of the fans and complete abandonment of Jensen when he gets the backlash. 

He baits the Destiel fans to the point of them making Jensen uncomfortable, then when Jensen puts his foot down, the fans attack him harshly. Where was Misha for that? Silent. Even though he was the one who eggs everyone on. 

Being rude, sexual, and otherwise inappropriate in front of children at conventions. I know fans will say “it’s not his responsibility to monitor kids!” but the fact that he continues to act like that while knowing there are kids in the audience is weird. I wouldn’t be making sexual jokes or being lewd in front of kids, that’s gross. 

His whole “charity” act that is really just him profiting from his “kindness” acts and his GISHWHES hunts. Pretty charitable of him. 

The fact that he uses Stands to push baiting merchandise onto fans with no regard to how Jensen feels, just to make a buck. (In addition to that, he doesn’t reign in the Stands staff who are horrible to fans and customers.)

I’m sure that there’s more, but that’s all I can think of at the moment! Hopefully that sheds some light! I try not to be too biased either way, but with some of the things it’s hard not to.

[sposp0]

tonight my mom questioned me about my weight loss again and was concerned, but she always thinks i’m smaller than i am. and i don’t have body dysmorphia or anything, i’m objectively average sized, i fit in medium to large clothes, i have a visible stomach and no thigh gap, etc. she commented about how my pants were too big, which they are bc they were from when i was like 40lbs heavier a few years ago, and then asked if i was losing weight on purpose which she’s done before. i denied it, obviously. i love my mom and we’re close, and i’m sorely tempted to tell her about my ed, but i’m just not ready to recover yet which i know she’d make me do. in a few months i might tell her, when i’m ready. but anyway she was like “i wonder if you’d fit into my old clothes from high school now” and i was like nahh bc my mom was like size 0 super skinny in high school. i was like weren’t u like rly tiny though? & she said you’re really tiny. and i was like ??? no i don’t think i am lmao?? bc i’m literally not i’m exactly average. and she was like have u weighed yourself? and i was like no lol. which is such a lie lmfaooo. but yeah ig i might try some of her old clothes on. it was nice being called tiny & such but that ana euphoria was kinda canceled out by me worrying abt her finding out abt my ed & the prospect of having to try on clothes i KNOW will be too small for me. and that was right before i had probably the biggest binge i’ve ever had. ik y’all probably won’t even read this thing and i don’t blame you, but it’s nice to scream into the void… my stomach hurts so bad and i feel so full and awful so it’s nice to take my mind off of it.

getting back on track this week. i was easing into lower restriction but i think i’ll dial it back to like 400cal a day, maybe 500 sometimes, then around 600-700 for high cal days. i know i can do it, i’ve been fine on lower amounts before. it’s just about control. and hopefully i’ve finally learned my lesson about going over my limit- one chip leads to another leads to eating the whole pantry. if i can’t control myself after i pass my limit, i’ll have to exert my control over staying under it instead. i can do this. i’ve been doing so well and i’m so close to looking okay. i’ve even started feeling better about my body already. i CANNOT lose this progress.

i will do better.

[darktypeimagines]

Piers with an s/o who just got back from a mental health break that lasted a little too long and like,,, they have a lot to catch up on and they’re just stressed about it. In case it wasn’t obvious this is a situation I’m in rn lmao

I hope you feel better soon.  I don’t know what exact mental health issues you’re experiencing, and I wrote it more or less depression-y/burn-out-y. Hope that’s ok, if not, send another request.

To you, and anyone else, my messaging is always open if you just need someone to talk to.

Put under the cut due to topic.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Piers was not a stranger to poor mental health. Spikemuth was not an easy city to grow up in, and at times, the spotlight could be just as stressful.  As an adult, he’s learned how to handle this in healthier ways, but sometimes, it’s just too much.

 So, when you started showing signs that you were going through something, Piers noticed immediately.  He started doing little things for you; nothing major. Just simple things like bringing you dinner or offering to straighten things up a bit.

He wasn’t sure how open you were.  Whether or not you were ready to talk about it.  To his knowledge, you weren’t engaging in anything super dangerous to yourself, so he waited for you to come to him.  Piers just didn’t want to cross a line; emotions are tricky.  Even if what was going on was really obvious.

But then you began distancing.  That’s what scared him.  You started staying at your home more often than his. You texted less.  Went out less. Some days, he couldn’t even get a hold of you.

After a little while of this, he decided he needed to finally see you in person again. He was beyond worried.  His schedule was booked, between battles and concerts, and while it hurt him to do so, he canceled one of his smaller concerts so he could have time to come see you.

He dropped by late morning, electric blanket in tow.  It was a cold winter’s day, and in Galar, winter’s could be brutal.  And he knew how much you loved that blanket.  He made a mental note to order one for you later.

Piers let himself in with his key.  The house was silent, smelled a bit musty.  All of the blinds were shut closed and a layer of dust coated many of your possessions.

He checked the living room first.  Nope.  The kitchen was nearby, and you weren’t there, either.  So that meant the bedroom.

Yep, it was the bedroom.  Like the rest of the house, it was dark.  He only knew you were in there because of the lump on the bed.

He quietly walked up to you.  It was difficult to tell if you were asleep, but once he was nearly there, it seemed like you were.  He plugged in the blanket, and slipped into the bed with you gently, pulling the blanket over the two of you.

You shifted but did not wake.  So, he waited.

It took a couple of hours for you to finally wake up.  And when you did, and realized what happened, you apologized profusely.  Piers assured you it was okay; he was just worried about you and peppered you with light kisses.  

Finally, though, you actually started talking.  If you are vague, he’ll still pick up on what you mean.  He knows the signs, he knows the symptoms, and even if you can’t articulate it, he knows what you mean.  This isn’t his first time around this block, after all.

You two end up talking throughout most of the day.  There was so much you two missed.  Marnie was doing well; the Champion Cup was coming up, and she had a good shot at winning!  Piers had also decided to quit being a gym leader, too…

And for him? He missed how much pain you had been in, and even though he tried his best to reach out, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty.

The two of you talked and agreed to improve your communication with each other.  A mental health break is fine but shutting everyone else out might only make you feel worse.

So, you agreed that the next time you began to feel like this, you would at least try to tell Piers what was going on and try a bit more to reach out when you needed help.

Hopefully, this would prevent a break from lasting too long again.

And yes, you spent most of the day in that electric blanket, curled up together in the warmth.

[doyouever-daydream]

Friends with Kids.

A/N  I re-watched Friends with Kids for the firs time in years and I came up with this, if you, like me, love rom-coms I highly recommend it, therefore if you don't want spoilers for the movie, go watch it and then come back here to read this! For the sake of the story there might be some OOC moments, don't kill me. Also there are many time-jumps so I hope it’s not too confusing. English is not my first language so bear with me, I try my best, I'm still working on it. I enjoyed writing this so much! I started last month and it was a blast so hopefully you enjoyed it as well, if you did, let me know! Thank you for reading this super long oneshot. P.S. This is the first work of the Movie AU series that I've been planning (if you pay close attention, without intending to I wrote a couple clues about others stories I'm working on (Movie AU's as well) 👀

P.S. 2 You should go and check this post and this post and help if you can ❤

ALSO this is another entry for my @cmbingo​ card, the square is Friends to Lovers.

Summary: After seeing all of their friends having kids, Penelope and Luke decide that since none of them seem to have found their person, they agree to have a child of their own. Having a kid with your best friend can't be that bad, right? (Movie AU: Friends with Kids)

Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Luke Alvez (with a little bit of Jemily 🤭)

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex, bad jokes, SLOWBURN, some angst I guess, some grammar mistakes.

Word count: 15410 (y’all told me to post it as a one instalment lmao 🤯🤯🤯)

Masterlist (You can also find this and other fanfics in my AO3 acc )

Luke didn’t need to look up to know that Penelope was finally down in the lobby, the sound of her high heels gave it away, he pocketed his phone and got up, ready to go and meet their friends.

“Hello chica” He kissed her cheek and she returned the gesture.

“Hi newbie, I’m sorry it’s so late, I got caught up at work, let’s go”

“After you” Once they were outside their apartment building, they called a cab, eager to get to the restaurant and catch up with their friends.

“How was work?” Penelope asked him as she put on lipstick.

Luke shrugged “Same as usual, nothing exciting happens, what about you?”

“Terrible day, I can’t wait to drink a couple glasses of wine” Luke snorted and raised an eyebrow “Or five”

“It’s Friday so I’m also thinking about getting a little tipsy” She placed her lipstick in her purse and rested her hands in her lap with a smile on her face.

“It’s been so long since the eight of us have gone out to dinner, I miss everyone”

“I know, I don’t think I’ll recognize their faces anymore” Penelope rolled her eyes instead of going along with it.

They remained in a comfortable silence the rest of the time, saving everything else they had to say until they were with the rest. Penelope and Luke saw each other much more often than the others, mostly because they lived in the same building, just an elevator ride apart, Penelope’s place was on the third floor while Luke’s was on the seventh. Another reason as to why they didn’t see each other that much was because half of the gang, Matt, Kristy, Derek and Savannah were now parents and they didn’t have as much free time time as before.

Once in the restaurant, Penelope walked as quickly as she could, Luke following close behind careful to act if she tripped or something. Penelope’s smile fell just a little when she only saw Emily and JJ sitting at the table.

“Hey, you guys are here” Emily and JJ quickly rushed to them, and after a round of greetings and hugs, the four sat down.

“Where's the rest of the gang?” Luke asked, looking around to see if they were by the bar or coming from the bathroom.

“Yeah, we can’t be the awesome eight when there are only four of us here” Penelope stated as she nicely signaled the waiter to come over.

Emily bit her lip and looked at JJ “They called to inform us they can’t make it tonight” The blonde woman informed them.

“Kristy’s not feeling well and Matt has to be there to take care of the kids and Derek and Savannah couldn’t find a sitter” Emily added carefully watching Penelope, they all knew she had been looking forward to this dinner for a few weeks now.

“Oh” Penelope forced a smile “It’s ok, I get it, things happen” Under the table, Luke took her hand and squeezed it, she looked at him and smiled a little less forced this time.

“We’ll be the fabulous four tonight” JJ raised her glass and Penelope remembered she hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was still exciting getting the chance to see them.

“I’ll drink to that” They all proceeded to order their drinks and dinner, ready to make the most of the evening.

They spent the next hour and a half talking about how life was, JJ and Emily told them about the trip they made to Italy to celebrate their three years of marriage, Penelope told them a funny story about a blind date gone wrong, Luke shared he was getting promoted at work, overall life was good for all of them and it made the evening much more pleasant even though four of their best friends weren’t there.

“There’s this guy at work who I think would be great for you” JJ commented while eating her dessert.

“I don’t know if I should trust you to set me up anymore, last time was horrible” Penelope replied remembering the last date she had with one of JJ’s prospects for her.

“No, this time it’ll be better, I promise” 

“I think you’d like this guy, Pen” Emily said while sipping on her glass of wine.

Luke nudged her with his elbow “Come on, chica, let JJ set you up, it can’t be worse than the time the guy bursted into tears when you told him you were a Libra”

They all laughed, followed by a loud sigh from Penelope “God, I missed this so much, being with you, laughing at my terrible luck when it comes to dating”

“I missed it too” Emily interjected “Being together not laughing about your love life”

“I gotta say it” Luke started “I love our friends’ kids so much but I miss the times when it was just the eight of us, you know?”

Before JJ or Emily said anything Penelope spoke “I know, I mean I’m also super grateful those little sweethearts joined the fam but on nights like these I get all nostalgic reminiscing the pre-babies era”

JJ and Emily shared a look and both Penelope and Luke knew something was up “What’s that?” Luke wondered.

Emily took JJ’s hand “Well, one of the news we wanted to share tonight was that JJ and I are adopting” Penelope and Luke were wide eyed “We actually started the process a few months ago but didn’t know when we were going to be matched and we didn’t expect it to happen soon but we’ve been matched, it’s sweet one year old girl” JJ finished telling their news to their friends.

“Her name is Emerson and she’s coming home with us in a couple weeks” Emily waited anxiously to see their reactions.

Penelope was the first one to speak “Oh my God, you guys, congratulations, a new addition to the fam” She was genuinely excited with her news and so was Luke.

“It’s great to hear this, you’ll be amazing moms” He turned to Penelope “We’re getting a new niece”

“I know, I know, look about what we said earlier-” JJ cut her off.

“Oh, it’s ok, we know kids aren’t really your thing so it’s alright” Luke was the only one who noticed how Penelope’s face changed for one second, she quickly smiled again, hoping no one noticed the flash of disappointment in her face at JJ’s words.

After saying their goodbyes and promising to reunite once Emerson was settled with JJ and Em, Luke and Penelope took another cab to go back to their apartments. She was silent and Luke didn’t know if it was a good idea to ask what was on her mind, he debated whether or not to start a conversation.

Before thinking it twice he started “So was it true?” Luke questioned and Penelope tilted her head.

“What do you mean?” Luke licked his lips.

“What JJ said about kids not being your thing” Penelope sighed and bit her lip, of course Luke had noticed her expression when she heard their friend saying this.

“She was referring to both of us, Luke” She tried to avoid answering his question.

“I know but in my case she’s wrong I would like kids” She looked at him with raised eyebrows and a smirk in her face.

“I didn’t know that, newbie” Luke shrugged “I honestly assumed you were the no kids kind of guy” 

“Are you kidding me? My mom would never forgive me if I never gave her grandchildren” Penelope laughed imagining Elena, Luke’s mom, lecturing him to give her grandchildren.

“So you’re doing it for your mom then?” 

“No, I really wanna be a dad, someday, a tiny human that’s half me, that would be great” She patted his shoulder.

“You’re right, that would be great” He looked at her expectantly “What?”

“What about you, Penelope? Would you like to have kids?” She pressed her lips together.

“Yes, I would love that” She admitted after a few seconds of being silent “The thing is I have no one, sometimes I think I should’ve said yes to Kevin when he proposed, I’d have children by now”

“You’re gonna find someone” She rolled her eyes “You will, you are gorgeous and an amazing woman” 

“Have you ever wondered if you’ve already met your person? You know, the one you’re gonna end up with?” Penelope questioned.

“No, I haven’t met my person, I know that much, but I will and so will you, Pen, you’ll see” He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder, starting to feel sleepy, they remained like that until they got home, said goodnight and went to sleep to their apartments.

Almost four months later, Luke and Penelope were hosting a baby shower for Matt and Kristy, it turned out that time they had cancelled dinner with them was because Kristy was having a hard time during the pregnancy.

Everyone was there, including friends they hadn’t seen in a while, all of them with their significant others: Spencer, Tara, Alex, Kate, David, Aaron and Elle.

At one point of the party, Penelope escaped from the conversations about marriage and kids, and she stood in a corner trying to go unnoticed, during the entire gathering Luke had kept an eye on her, since they were planning the party, he noticed the subject was still a sensitive for her.

“We did good” He said as he leaned against the wall.

Penelope looked around his place, everyone seemed to be having a good time “Yeah, I think it turned out pretty well” He offered his glass of wine, it was almost full “Thank you” 

“I’ve always known we were a dynamic duo” This earned him an eye roll from Penelope, he expected her to say something else but she remained quiet and so did he.

She took in the scene of her friends with their children, the look on their eyes were like nothing she had ever seen before, she knew these people from a very long time and there was always a huge difference between the before and after having kids.

“I want this” Penelope said out of the blue.

“Ok” Luke said unsure as to what she was referring, he thought about it for a second “I can plan a birthday party for you next year, Pen”

“Not a party, I want to have a baby” He didn’t know what to say to that but just in that moment JJ walked over to them with Emerson in her arms.

“This little one is looking for her fairy godmother” Emerson reached her arms to Penelope and she happily took the one year old in her arms.

“Did you, little Em?” She kissed her goddaughter’s head “I was missing you too” The baby babbled, content to be with her auntie.

“I’ll go grab some cake” JJ turned around and walked towards the kitchen and Kristy came to join the three of them.

“Thank you guys so much for this” She offered a warm smile “I promise you we’re done after this one” She announced while she rubbed her round belly.

“Oh don’t mind us, you have as many babies as you guys like” Luke joked and when they laughed, little Emerson joined them with a giggle.

“No, we’re definitely done, it’s your turn to find someone and start giving us nieces and nephews, right, Emerson?”

“I think this one will get a little sister or brother before we know it, Em and JJ are over the moon being moms” Penelope stated.

“I know” Kristy agreed “It’s been really touching seeing them in this new phase” 

“I hope someday you guys get to see me being a mom” The nostalgia was obvious in her voice.

“It’s gonna happen” Kristy assured her “And I can’t wait, Penelope” She smiled to her and then proceeded to go with her husband.

Seeing Penelope with Emerson and the rest of their friends’ children left him thinking, after the baby shower was over Penelope stayed to help him clean even when he told her to call it a night and go to  get some rest, but she refused, they spent the next couple hours tidying up the place, once they were done Luke offered to order takeout but she didn’t accept and went to her apartment.

Luke tried to get some sleep but he kept turning and tossing in his bed, his thoughts not letting him rest, he tried everything but ultimately failed, he looked at his alarm clock, it was almost 2:00 AM. Unable to get his idea out of his mind, he got up and walked towards the elevator, he needed to tell Penelope what was happening on his mind.

Once he got down to her floor, he stood outside her door for a few minutes thinking maybe it was too out of line to make her the proposition he was thinking about. He pressed his lips together and rubbed his palms in his pajama pants, trying to muster enough confidence to knock on her door.

  He sighed and knocked a couple times.

Luke tried a few more times, wanting to tell Penelope what he was thinking about, after all it was his best friend, if she didn’t accept, they could laugh it up and continue as if nothing happened. 

Penelope opened the door “What’s up, Luke?” She put on her glasses as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Penelope yawned.

He stared at her and took a deep breath “I want a baby” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Are you… Drunk?” She questioned and he shook his head.

“I want to be a dad” He blurted. 

“Ok? Well I know everyone calls me the fairy godmother but it’s not like I can make a baby appear and give it to you”

“What if you could?” Luke objected.

Penelope let out a frustrated sigh “Are you high?”

“No, Penelope, you want to be a mom and I want to be a dad, we haven’t found our person but we’re best friends I thought maybe we could try this” 

“How would that even work? Luke, what the fuck?” 

“Look, there are different types of families, two best friends having a kid and then finding their person doesn’t sound too crazy to me” He insisted.

“Are you being serious right now?” Penelope wondered, trying to examine his face to see if he was messing with her.

“I am” He walked to her and took her hand “Think about it, we’re best friends, we have a baby and we split everything 50/50 costs, responsibilities, and it will be good because we’re not attracted to each other, we won’t get to have married couple fights and all the complicated part” He offered a small smile to his friend who looked at him open-mouthed trying to process everything he was saying.

“I need some time to think about it” Luke smiled when he heard those words and let go of her hand.

“Alright, that’s ok” He walked towards the door “Let me know what you decide on, you know where to find me” As he was about to leave, he turned around and quickly walked to her to hug her.

“Go to sleep, Alvez”

“Garcia-Alvez has a nice ring to it” He whispered in her ear before she swatted at his chest, he rushed to the door and closed it behind him, leaving Penelope standing there, shocked at his proposition but also thoughtful, she walked to her bedroom and snuggled once again in her bed, trying to regain her sleep before Luke came to disrupt her mind.

Penelope and Luke were busy with work for the next couple weeks, until one night she texted him if she could come up to see him, he instantly replied with a yes and Penelope was on her way with an answer to his proposition. She let herself in and walked to his living room, he was watching TV.

“Hello stranger” He patted the couch, inviting her to sit beside him.

She plopped next to him and Luke put his arm around her without taking his eyes from the screen “How’s… life?” 

“Good I guess?” He quickly shot her a look with an eyebrow raised “How about you?”

Penelope played with her hands “Did you mean what you said that other night?” Luke turned to her and took the remote control turning the TV off and giving her his undivided attention.

“About having a baby with you? Absolutely” His voice was firm and his face was serious.

“I’ve thought about it” She looked at him and he was waiting for an answer.

“And?” He questioned with raised eyebrows.

“Ok” Penelope stated in a whisper.

Luke smiled “Ok?”

“Ok” She returned the smile “You are right, there are different type of families and two friends having a kid doesn’t sound like the worst idea”

He leaned forward to her “Should we get to it? Like now?” Penelope jumped.

“No, not now but soon I guess, I’m not sure” She was suddenly self conscious, thinking that in an attempt to have a baby together, they’d need to have sex.

“We could do those fertility tests to know when you’re ovulating” Penelope looked surprised.

“How do you know about those?” She asked with amusement.

“What? Because I’m a guy I can’t know? Come on, Pen, I’m a modern men” She chuckled and looked at him waiting for the truth.

“Ok I saw it on a movie but I do want to know more about this, I plan on being there for you during the pregnancy, Lamaze classes and all”

“Alright, we can talk about all of that later, I’ll just go have dinner now” As she was about to get up, Luke took her hand.

“Don’t go, we can order something or I could cook something for you”

“Didn’t you already had dinner?” He nodded 

“But you can have dinner here, you don’t need to eat all by yourself”

“Alright I’ll go check your fridge, I’m sure there’s some leftover takeout I can eat” Penelope went to the kitchen and Luke started to look for something she could also enjoy on the TV, this was their routine, having dinner at each other’s apartments whenever they could, talking about life, family, dates they’ve been, adding a baby to their dynamic didn’t sound like the worst idea.

“We are having a baby” Penelope announced to their friends, Luke was a little bit terrified of Derek’s reaction to the news, Penelope and him were very close.

“So you’re finally together?” Savannah said with a smile on her face.

Derek who was sitting beside his wife started grinning, he knew this day would come “I’m happy for the both of you”

“Uhm, no, we’re not together, we’re just having a kid” Savannah’s and Derek’s face changed into frowns.

“Oh” Savannah said smiling again, trying not to show her confusion, she wanted to be supportive of her friends, especially Penelope, she was Derek’s best friend.

“So how far along are you, baby girl?” Derek wondered with a more serious expression.

“I’m not pregnant yet, we just decided to have a baby”

“It’s because we both want to be parents so w-we came up with this idea” Luke added.

“Well, that’s great, isn’t it, babe?” Savannah squeezed Derek’s knee for him to say something supportive.

“Yeah, yeah, it is” He tried his best to offer an honest smile “Hank would love to have another cousin, especially coming from his fairy godmother”

Penelope smiled at Luke reassuring him that everything was ok, he had expressed his concerns over Derek’s reaction but as close as Penelope and Derek were, this was her decision. 

Later that evening Penelope offered to help Derek to do the dishes and he was glad he would have a moment alone with her.

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? The whole having a baby with Luke thing?” She noted the worry in his voice, she finished drying the last plate.

“I am, it’s not like we are getting any younger” She shrugged and leaned on the kitchen counter, he shot her a concerned look “Hey, if you weren’t married I’d go to you for this” She joked nudging him with her elbow “Just imagine your DNA and mine, that kid would be something else” They both laughed.

“I can only imagine how that’d conversation would go” Derek commented while drying his hands.

“I actually can’t, I mean Luke was really the one that came up with the subject”

“Was he now?” He asked with an arched brow

“Stop it, it’s not like that” She rolled her eyes “We’re friends, that’s all we are and all we’re going to be”

Derek shook his head and let out a sigh “Alright, if you’re sure then just know you have us for support, questions, help, anything you need, sweetness, and I better be godfather”

Penelope got teary eyed, it was really important to her to count on Derek for this new adventure, he was her most precious friendship, so listening to him saying those words made her feel more at ease, she was sure of her decision but that didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified of the changes coming up.

Soon all of their friends heard the news from Penelope and Luke, Matt and Kristy were very supportive, mostly because in their eyes those two belonged together, they thought that maybe for them the baby had to come first then they’d realize how perfect they were for each other despite their differences. A contrast from Emily’s and JJ’s reaction, JJ had always been super protective of Penelope, and she thought this was a terrible idea where Penelope would end up being hurt, Luke was her friend as well and knew he wasn’t a bad guy but raising a kid with someone was complicated even when you were in a serious relationship with someone you were in love with, Emily wasn’t a fan of the idea either, someone was bound to get hurt and no matter who, their kid would have to pay the consequences, they didn’t explicitly voiced their concerns but neither did they applaud their decision.

Kirsty, JJ brought their kids at Savannah and Derek’s for a playdate, and it was only a matter of time before the subject was brought up.

“So what do you guys think about Pen and Luke’s plan?” JJ asked watching Hank helping Emerson to get the toys she wanted.

“Well I hope she gets pregnant soon, so their baby can be close to this little one in age” Kristy replied while rubbing her stomach.

“It’s gonna be interesting” Added Savannah while taking a sip of wine.

JJ squinted and looked at them “Don’t you think it’s crazy for them to go through it? Penelope is too sensitive, I’m not even sure she’s not feeling something for him already, what if she gets her heart broken?”

“It may not be ideal but…” Savannah shrugged her shoulder and pressed her lips “It’s their decision and I don’t think anything we say will change their minds”

“They want to be parents, they are planning this and seemed excited, I don’t think it’s the worst thing”

The blonde woman remained silent, she was still unsure it was the right choice but everyone seemed to be on board so she tried to be supportive of Luke and Penelope, hoping with all her heart they they’d prove her worries were silly and that they would make it work.

The day had finally come, they were trying tonight and Penelope was a bundle of nerves, Luke on the other hand was excited, lately his desire to be a father was getting stronger, all of his co-workers talked about their experiences in fatherhood and even though they shared both, the good and the bad, he was anxious to experience it firsthand.

“Alright I’m ready” Penelope announced as she entered his apartment in her mermaid nightie and fluffy robe with unicorn slippers, Luke smiled at the sight of her, soon with all the confidence she had mustered, Penelope straddled his waist.

“A ‘hello, how are you?’ would be nice” He joked and she lost all confidence, the blood traveled to her face and she stepped away from him but Luke took her hand and pulled her so she was sitting next to him “I’m kidding, it’s j-just I don’t know, I’m using humor to lighten up the mood”

“I’m mortified, Luke” She admitted with closed eyes “We’re having sex”

“It can’t be that bad, I know it won’t be bad” Penelope opened one eye.

“How could you know?” Luke shot her a smirk and a wink.

“If we’re comfortable enough to have a baby together then I’m comfortable enough to confess I’ve had some dreams”

Her eyes shot open “LUKE!” Penelope’s voice raised with surprise.

“That’s exactly how it sounded” He joked and if Penelope wasn’t red before she was now.

“Oh my God, stop, I don’t know if that makes me feel better or not” Luke laughed, not really understanding why she was so worried.

“Come on, chica, it’s gonna be alright” He placed a strand of her out of her face.

She sighed and sat up straighter “Ok, let’s do it”

Luke caressed her cheek “Are you sure?” 

Penelope swallowed and nodded, he went on to kiss her and after a few seconds she started laughing.

“Pen, this is not helping my confidence” He commented as he pulled away, Penelope rested her forehead on his.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you know I laugh when I feel awkward” Luke softly placed his hands on her shoulders and got up.

He extended out his hand to her “Let’s go to the bedroom” Penelope looked hesitant “If you don’t feel like doing this today, we can do it some other day, it’s ok”

“No, I want to, it’s just… Weird” 

“So I shouldn’t have lit the candles or put a million rose petals on the bed then?” Penelope rolled her eyes, he was teasing her to that one time a guy had done that and it was a huge turn off for her.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, I hate your mouth so much”

Luke loved to mess with her “I bet you a hundred bucks you won’t be saying that in a few”

“Fuck you, newbie” Penelope spat.

HIs hands signaled to himself “Be my guest” This time he saw the eye roll on her face accompanied with annoyment and he decided to stop his teasing “Alright, alright, look, I know you like fresh sheets and I even used that softener you like, let’s go to bed and… Do this”

“I need a minute” She went to the bathroom and Luke sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her, he licked his lips, hoping she wasn’t regretting everything, soon Penelope came back and stood between his legs.

“Ok, shut up for real this time and let’s do this” She placed her hands on each side of his face.

“One baby coming up” Penelope facepalmed “... In nine months, th-” She kissed him in an attempt to shut him up for good, Luke immediately responded and placed his hands on her hips.

Once they were done, they remained on his bed, both were hopeful that everything was on their side so within the next couple months they could see a positive pregnancy test, Penelope’s awkwardness was all gone, she figured she was making a big deal of the whole thing, having sex with Luke wasn’t bad and she actually had enjoyed it more than she thought she would.

“Shouldn’t you lift your legs up or something?” Luke suggested.

He didn’t see her rolling her eyes “Is this another thing you saw in a movie?”

Luke turned to her “Maybe”

“Let’s go to sleep Luke” She turned to the other side and fell asleep easily.

That night Luke had another dream with Penelope, except this time, in his dream they were a family, they were even married and had twins, he woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it, he remembered the joy he felt in his dream and allowed himself to imagine how life would be if that scenario became a reality, after a few minutes he shook his head, Penelope was just his friend, there was no interest in being more than that from either side.

They decided to give it a few tries, to increase the chance for them to get pregnant, the next times weren’t awkward except for one time where Luke came in unannounced.

“Pen” He called for her entering her apartment “Chica, let’s get to baby making, there’s a game I really want to catch later” As he finished his sentence he reached Penelope’s living room only to find her sitting there having dinner with a guy, Luke’s eyes widened, she was going to kill him probably.

“Uhm, I think you already have plans for tonight” The guy said while getting to his feet.

“Wait, Joe, it’s-” Penelope didn’t know exactly what to say.

“No, no, it’s ok, I’ll go, it was nice meeting you” He hurriedly got his messenger bag and walked out of the apartment.

Luke immediately apologized “I should’ve knocked, sorry, I’m really sorry” Penelope waved him off.

“A mutual friend set us up, she insisted a lot and I ended up saying yes” She sighed “But right now, I’m not interested in dating, not when I’m trying to have a baby with my friend, so it’s ok” He still felt terrible so he decided to skip the game and stayed to have dinner with her.

“Pen” Luke squeezed her hand “Are you actually gonna take the tests or are you just gonna stare at them?” She looked at him.

“Maybe if I stare them long enough they’ll get some sort of vibes from me and show us if that week of trying worked or not” He smiled sympathetically, six weeks had passed since that week and Penelope avoided taking the pregnancy tests, even though her period had been late, she was scared of seeing the results, Luke was understanding and supportive, he had a good feeling but he put himself in Penelope’s shoes.

“Come on, let’s go” He took the bag of pregnancy tests he had bought and tried to guide her to the bathroom but she didn’t move an inch “It’ll all be ok”

“What if it’s not?” Penelope asked in a whisper.

“Then we’ll get through it, together” She felt tears coming to her eyes, she was terrified of the results, whatever they may be, she knew they would have an impact to her.

Luke was open to keep trying if the results were negative but he didn’t know what Penelope wanted so he wanted to know what the tests actually ended up showing before bringing up the conversation. A few minutes later, he was waiting outside the bathroom for her, he was starting to get worried, she was silent.

“Penelope, can I come in?” No response, that didn’t help his nerves “Ok, I’m coming in” When he entered, he saw her face filled with what he believed to be surprise.

She barely smiled “It’s positive, all of them are actually” Luke’s lips spread into a wide smile.

“I knew I had a good feeling about this” He hugged her and kissed her hair, they were going to be parents.

The next few months flew by, soon they were getting ready to welcome the little one, true to his word Luke had been with Penelope as much as he could, whenever he wasn’t at work he was beside her learning together, reading books, attending classes, building baby furniture, reading Penelope’s favorite children’s books to the baby, feeling the baby kick for the first time, discussing names, imagining how life would be once the baby arrived.

None of them had been really interested in meeting new people during the pregnancy, until Phil, Luke’s friend insisted on setting him up with a doctor, after much insistence Luke accepted, not without asking first Penelope for advice on whether he should go out with her or not.

“She sounds great, you should do it, it’s been an eternity since you’ve gone on a date” Penelope mentioned rubbing her belly “I miss listening to your disastrous dates stories, they are quite entertaining” Luke glared at her and handed her the ice cream pint she had asked for.

“Ha-ha, you’re very funny” He pursed his lips together “I think I’m gonna tell Phil yes”

Penelope winked at him while licking ice cream off her spoon “Great, I’ll help you choose a nice outfit”

A week later Luke was out with Lisa, Phil’s friend, she was really nice, easy to talk with and gorgeous, she didn’t seem to freak out entirely when he brought up that he was about to be a dad, he was actually enjoying the night, for a second he saw that she seemed distracted and looking behind him.

“I’m sorry, Luke” She cut him off “I think there’s someone trying to get your attention” His brows furrowed as he turned around to find Penelope carrying her hospital bag, this immediately made him panic as he rushed to her.

“Are you in labor?” He took her by the shoulders and examined her.

“Yes, my water broke” Luke was in shock for a second “An hour ago but it is until now that the contractions are getting frequent and…” She placed her hands on her shirt and clutched the fabric  “...Stronger” 

“Oh my God, you should’ve called me the minute it happened, let’s go” He tried to take her hand but she managed to remind him to give an explanation to the nice woman that looked at them with empathy in her eyes.

Soon they were settled in the hospital room, Penelope wasn’t ready to push yet but both her and the baby were doing fine.

“You were supposed to go into labor in two weeks” Luke was scared this was a sign something was wrong but after some tests, doctors and nurses assured them everything looked normal.

“I guess we already know newbie junior is antsy like daddy” 

“We don’t even know if the baby’s a boy”

“Oh newbie is gender neutral, I’ve been calling them this without actually thinking it’s a boy or a girl”

Luke smiled and started to push some strands of hair out of her face “You’re being a champion, Pen, you’re handling everything amazingly”

Penelope laughed as she took deep breaths “Oh, don’t be fooled newbie, I’m freaking out and I might pull one of those ‘what have you done to me? I hate you’ lines just like in the movies” 

“I’ll take it, chica, you can even punch me if you want, so I can experience at least a little bit of pain with you”

“I’ll keep that in mind” She joked.

Soon Penelope started to push and not even once she cursed at Luke, he held her hand, cleaned the sweat off her forehead and kept encouraging her to trust her body, Penelope was exhausted and sometimes she felt like she couldn’t go through it but then she remembered that after all the pain she would finally look her baby in the eyes and fall in love like she had never done before, she tried to remember everything she had learned from her doula, and within the hour she heard her baby’s cries.

Luke swore it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, while Penelope’s eyes focused on the baby who was being all cleaned up.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy” Doctor Kim said as she placed the newborn on his mother’s chest.

“Hello you” Penelope whispered with tears on her eyes, and Luke stood over her head watching his son “You couldn’t wait to meet us, little one” The small baby fuzzed.

“It’s alright, we couldn’t wait to meet you either” Luke said while seeing him open his eyes for a brief moment before he closed them and nuzzled to her mom’s chest.

“He’s here, Luke” She stated without taking her eyes off her boy “We did it”

The following morning, the new parents were still living in their own bubble with their son, he was healthy and so was Penelope.

“Ok so we agreed on Bowie, right?” Penelope tried to see if Luke would budge.

“No, sorry chica, we didn’t”

“Alright, Ziggy then” Luke laughed softly, she kept suggesting those ever since she got pregnant.

“Nope”

“Ok…” She tapped the baby’s little nose “David it is”

“What about Julian?” He suggested and Penelope felt in her heart that was perfect for him.

“Julian” She bit back the smile and thought about messing with him for a little “I guess we’ll go with your suggestion”

“Hey, I’m trying to-” Penelope finally looked up to him and smiled widely.

“I’m kidding, I love it, he looks like a Julian” His tiny lips turned up in what looked like a tiny smile “See? Jules agrees” She passed the tiny bundle to Luke and he happily held his son.

“Hello young Julian Garcia-Alvez, we love you more than you could ever imagine”

Later that day Derek and Savannah came to visit, they couldn’t wait one minute more to meet the new addition to their lives.

“Hello, hello” Savannah announced as she carefully opened the door and peeked her head “We’re here to meet the handsome boy”

“Ah! We were waiting to see you” Penelope was beaming at the thought of her found family meeting her boy “Come on in”

Derek entered eyeing the three of them, he was glad for her best friend, she had always wanted to be a mom and now she had finally become one.

“Look at that, my baby girl had a baby boy” Derek saw the tiny baby in Luke’s arms, he was familiar with the look on Luke’s face, it was one of pure love and adoration, the one he had for Hank when he had been born.

“Let me present to you to Julian Garcia”

Derek raised an eyebrow at Penelope “It’s Julian Garcia-Alvez but I guess Luke’s too lazy to say the full name”

Luke didn’t even seem to hear them mention his name, he was to absorbed in his son “I love the name, he’s gorgeous, congratulations guys” Savannah squeezed Penelope’s shoulder.

After a conversation about how Penelope had to interrupt Luke’s date and how was Julian’s birth, all while his auntie held little Jules, Savannah suggested Luke to go and get some tea and muffins, she wanted to give Derek and Penelope a moment so they could have a conversation of their own, ever since she had started dating Derek she knew him and Penelope shared a really special friendship and that sometimes they needed a moment just them alone to talk about life.

“We’ll be right back” Luke glanced at Penelope and Julian and smiled at them before closing the door behind him.

They remained silent for a few minutes as they only focused on Julian who was now wide awake.

“How are you feeling?” Derek asked softly.

“I feel like I’m in a dream” She admitted “I can’t believe this sweet little boy was given to me”

He placed his hand in the side of her face “I already know you’re gonna be the most amazing mom to Julian” Penelope leaned into his touch.

“Thank you for being there, both you and Savannah were the two people that were the most supportive, I’m still not sure JJ and Em are totally on board with this and Matt and Kristy they have five kids now so we don’t get to see them much but you and Savannah were always there for us”

“And we plan on continue being there for the three of you” Penelope couldn’t hold back her tears “May I?” She carefully handed Julian over to him.

“Can I confess something? I’m scared about how this is gonna go, I mean with Luke, how we’re gonna make this dynamic work”

“Baby girl, are you sure you don’t have feelings for him?” Penelope smiled.

“I love the guy, I mean he’s the father of my baby but no, there’s no feelings there” She was being honest but still Derek felt uneasy, thinking the situation could change and Penelope would end with a broken heart. 

“Ok, well I’m sure you will make it work, maybe it won’t be easy but both of you are very determined and at the end of the day it’s this little guy you’ll be doing everything for so I’m sure you’ll be ok”

“Oh, chocolate thunder, you always know what to say” Penelope stated seeing Derek smiling at Julian “I wanted to ask you something, well, Luke and I did” 

“Anything”

“We were wondering if Savannah and you would like to be Jules’ godparents?”

“Oh, Penelope, I would’ve disowned you if you hadn’t asked, of course, we would be honored to be his godparents” 

“I love you, Derek Morgan” She reached out for his hand.

He looked at her and squeezed her hand “And I love you Penelope Garcia” He looked down at his new godson “I love you too Julian”

That day after Derek and Savannah, Luke’s family, and the rest of their friends had visited them to meet Julian.

Penelope came out of Julian’s room, she had put him down to sleep, already knowing he was going to wake up in a few hours, three months had already come and gone, neither could believe how fast time was passing by, they had adjusted quite nicely.

“Ok, I have some more things I need you to store in your apartment” She signaled some things next to the door, they were some coats, a pair of skis, shoe boxes, even her ukulele was being forgotten at the moment and since it was taking space it had to be stored on Luke’s place, they had been doing that ever since they’ve brought Julian home.

“Have I ever told you you own way to many shoes?” Luke commented rubbing his eyes.

“All the time” She smiled “I still don’t care”

“Alright, I’ll take them now and don’t worry about waking up later, I’ll come down to feed him” She raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?” 

“Of course, it’s around 2 when he wakes up, right?” Luckily for them, Julian was the greatest baby, he easily fell into routine, he woke up around the same time each night, so Luke had alarms and he came down so it wasn’t only Penelope waking up at night.

“Yeah”

“Ok, goodnight”

For Luke it felt as if he had just closed his eyes when the alarm went off, he quickly got up and went to Penelope’s place, he opened the fridge to find the different bottles, each of them were labeled:

One glass of wine.

Couple of Margaritas.

Pure.

Stressful day.

Pure.

He snorted and grabbed one of the bottles labeled as ‘pure’ and proceeded to warm it, he didn’t hear any crying when he came in so he assumed Julian had yet to wake up demanding to be fed, a few minutes later the three month old woke up and Luke was ready to feed him, he sat in the rocking chair with the baby to his chest, once Julian was done with the bottle, he burped him and sat a little bit more with him, he loved those moments were he could hold his son and sing the lullabies his mom and grandma used to sing to him when he was a kid.

He was loving being a dad and co-parenting with Penelope, he practically lived there, he would leave only at night but even then, he’d come back and sometimes would end up crashing at the couch waking up at Penelope’s. Luke placed Julian on his crib and left the room, as he walked out of the room he saw a photo of the three of them in the hallway and smiled, everything felt right.

Luke hurried through the stairs, he was coming home from work and Penelope was calling him nonstop to get home, he didn’t wait for the elevator and took the stairs, once he opened the door, he was met by a crying Julian and a crying Penelope.

“I’ve done everything and he won’t stop crying, he hates me, Luke” She said through her sobs.

Luke felt bad for Penelope, she was more sensitive than usual, the hormones were to blame, he went to them and took Julian in his arms.

“I’m his mom and he already hates me” She cleaned her tears off her face.

Luke started to sway him from side to side “He can’t hate you now, wait until he’s sixteen”

“LUKE!” Soon Julian stopped crying in Luke’s arms “How the fuck did you do that?” She asked in surprise.

“Oh, I don’t know I guess he loves me but he hates you” He saw the tears on her eyes “I’m kidding, I’m kidding”

Penelope sighed and sat on the couch “I’m returning to work soon and we don’t have a nanny yet”

“I know, I asked around some of my coworkers and they recommended me some agency” She smiled.

“That’s great, but we need to be clear on something” He looked at her with a frown “You can’t fuck the nanny”

“Penelope! I wasn’t planning on doing that”

“Ok, just saying, newbie”

By the end of the week they had hired Max to be Julian’s nanny, Penelope was faced with another challenge, learning how to manage going to work and being a mom, soon she discovered it was hard but she could handle it, she missed going to work, seeing her co-workers and having an excuse to actually put on some decent clothes and makeup.

 Matt, Kristy, JJ, Emily and their six children were visiting Luke, Penelope and Julian, they hadn’t seen them since the hospital, they were curious to see how ‘the experiment’ as Emily called it was going.

“I’m not gonna lie, I think the reason they didn’t invite us over sooner it’s because they’re having a hard time adjusting” Emily spoke up.

“You think? I don’t know” Matt replied.

“I mean it wouldn’t be a surprise, becoming a parent it’s not easy” Kristy added to Emily’s comment.

“We’re about to see” JJ said as they all stepped out of the elevator, it took five seconds for Penelope and Luke receive them, he had Julian on a baby carrier close to his chest.

“Hello!” They said in unison, after a round of hugs and greetings, they went to the living room.

“Please, get yourselves some drinks, I made some tapas, I’ll go get them” Penelope announced and JJ joined her in the kitchen.

“Hey, everything looks great” She meant it.

“Thanks, we manage to keep everything in place but Jules is about to start crawling so next time you won’t find a tidy place” Penelope laughed.

JJ frowned “Is Luke living here?” 

“No, well, kind of, he spends a lot of time with Jules” She shrugged it off, it wasn’t a big deal for them.

“Penelope…” JJ sighed “What’s this that you have going on?” Penelope rolled her eyes at her words, it wasn’t the first time she questioned it and certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“We’re raising a baby, he stays over, sue me” JJ’s eyes widened “No, he stays over but nothing happens, I’m not attracted to him and he’s not attracted to me, it’s all fine” 

“Ok, then it’s time for you to get yourself out there again”

“Actually I’ve been thinking about it”

“Say no more” Her friend winked at her and Penelope just went long with it, JJ said about a co-worker of hers that sounded dreamy. Once they returned with some appetizers, everyone was settled, Luke had taken the older kids to the other room where they put on a movie for them and gave them some sandwiches and toys so they could be entertained.

“It looks like you’re doing amazing, man” Matt said as he placed Rose on the ground, she was eager to follow Emerson,

“Yeah, it is, Pen and I are convinced we got very lucky with Julian, he’s great”

“Wait until he starts walking” Emily commented while she watched Emerson closely, she was walking around the adults, observing what she could grab, unfortunately for her, the apartment was childproof so there was nothing she could really play with other than Julian’s toys and her own.

“I know I told Luke that by then I’m sure I’ll have to give up my high heels” Penelope said while sitting down next to him and absentmindedly resting her hand in Luke’s thigh “Can you imagine me running around a kid in five inch heels?” They all laughed and Luke placed an arm around her, everyone could see the look on his face as Penelope continued talking, Matt and Kristy shared a knowing look and JJ was just starting to think Penelope was lying about “nothing going on”.

The rest of their visit went by quite quickly, all of them enjoying their time together, at some point, Penelope realizes it’s their first time her and Luke can relate to the parenting experiences and struggles, even though Derek, Savannah and Hank couldn’t make it, her heart fills with joys as she sees most of her found family together.

“You’re almost there, buddy” Luke was sitting on the floor, multitasking, he folded laundry and watched Julian as he tried to stand using Luke’s arm as support.

“Breakfast is ready for my favorite guys” Penelope announced carrying two plates “Here, put these on the coffee table, I’ll go get Jules’ plate” She leaned down to carry him “Come on little guy, let’s get those hands clean”

While Luke and Penelope both sat on the floor, Julian used the coffee table for support and finally managed to stand up and grab some of his breakfast, he was a good eater, they stared at him, amazed by the little boy who owned their hearts.

“Can you believe he’s almost nine months? He’s getting so big” She sighed nostalgically.

“I know, I feel like in no time he’ll be going to preschool” Luke added as he took a bite of his own breakfast.

“Don’t even start” Jules looked up to his mom “Yeah, baby, what if we slow down a little with this whole growing up so fast? Can you do that for mommy?” Luke was also looking at Penelope, he was thinking about how wonderful the last year and a half of his life had been, since finding out about the pregnancy to that very moment, he felt extremely content to have Julian and Penelope in his life.

“Ma!” He exclaimed and went back to grab a fistful of scrambled eggs.

Luke smiled at his son then he turned to Penelope “You know? I don’t think it’s been that hard, all of this”

“Right?” She took a sip of juice “I feel the same, we make a good team, newbie”  Just as Luke was about to say something else, Penelope’s phone dinged, she quickly took it and smiled at the screen, he remained silent and took Julian and sat him between his legs and put his plate in front of him so he could continue eating his breakfast.

“You’re done, Julian” He said to his son as the baby looked up to him with wide eyes “Yeah, it’s gone, it’s all in your tummy now, come on, let’s get you changed”

“Oh, I can change him, don’t worry” Penelope took her eyes off her phone.

“Alright, I’ll go wash these” He said as he took the dishes into the kitchen, trying to think who was Penelope texting.

A very happy Penelope entered the kitchen carrying a very happy Julian, they went to stand beside Luke as he finished drying the plates.

“You’re in a good mood” Luke stated trying to seem nonchalant.

Penelope couldn’t hold back the smirk “I am, I need to tell you something” She sat Julian in the kitchen counter “I’m going out with someone tonight”

Luke wasn’t sure why he felt a stinging sensation in his heart “Oh” He couldn’t think of something else to say.

Her smile soon changed into a frown “Is that ok? I thought this was my free night, but if you’ve got plans I can- “ Luke interrupted her.

“No, no, no, no plans at all” He tried his best to fake smile “It’s great, I’m happy for you, who’s the lucky guy?”

“His name is Sam, JJ set us up, we’ve been texting these past couple weeks and we decided to go out today”

“Great” Luke said without looking at her nor sounding very cheerful but Penelope failed to notice that.

Later that evening Penelope was a nervous wreck, she had facetimed JJ and Emily to voice her concerns about going on a date, she felt like she didn’t even remembered how to go on a first date, she remained sat on her bed, with her robe on, looking at the outfit her friends had helped her choosing, she thought about calling Derek, he was great at helping her when she wasn’t feeling her best self, as Luke passed her bedroom after putting Julian to bed, he stopped and saw that she didn’t have the happy look she had that morning.

He opened the door a little bit more and peeked at her “Hey, how is getting ready going? Everything good? Did he cancel?”

Penelope quickly looked up “No, it’s just that I’m nervous” As soon as she said she felt a little embarrassed “That’s stupid, isn’t it? Oh God” Luke entered and sat beside her and took her hand.

“Not at all, it’s normal to be nervous before going on a first date, but I’m sure you’ll be fine, from what I gathered he’s a great guy”

Her eyebrows raised “Did you eavesdropped my conversation with the girls?”

“Pen, you were literally sitting across Julian and I”

“Oh, that’s true, sorry, I was a little distracted then” She confessed running her hands through her hair.

“Should I prepare some tea for you and your nerves?” He suggested, not liking to see her stressed and thinking she shouldn’t be worrying, it was impossible she wouldn’t blow the guy’s mind, she was a catch.

Penelope placed one hand on the side of his face “Luke, that would be wonderful, you are a gift” 

“Alright, you continue getting ready and I’ll bring your tea in a moment” Just as he was about to leave, Penelope called him “Yeah?”

“Nevermind” She sighed and stood up to start doing her hair.

“Penelope? Come on, you can tell me anything” He leaned in the door frame, waiting for her to say something, instead she turned around and opened her robe, she was in her underwear.

“Do you think my body is ready to, you know, get out there?” Luke ignored the sensations the image in front of him caused to his body and walked to her, putting his hands on either side of her face.

“You are beautiful, Penelope, don’t ever think you’re not, you could’ve gone out on a date the next month after having Julian for all I know” She blushed and looked down “I mean it, you are the whole package, you’re smart, kind, witty, and sexy as hell so stop doubting yourself and if for some reason this guy doesn’t seem to be into you, then we’ll tell JJ, her friend is out of his mind” He kissed her hair.

“You really have a way with words, Alvez” She managed to look up and smiled “We need to find you someone as well” He pressed his lips together and that’s when he knew he didn’t want someone else, he wanted Penelope.

As he prepared her tea, he sat on a stool and tried to think when his feelings for her had changed, he was sure he didn’t feel that way before, or maybe he was but didn’t realize? He was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t listen the kettle whistling, he rushed to it so it wouldn’t wake Julian up but he was late, he went to get him and later appeared in Penelope’s room with Jules attached to his hip and nuzzled in his neck in one arm and a mug in the other.

“Here you go” He said placing it on her vanity. 

“Oh thanks” She glanced at him through the mirror “And thanks for getting him, I can’t exactly stand up fast and move freely with these attached to my boobs” She laughed.

“It’s ok”

“Isn’t this sexy?” She joked “Hair curlers on my head, makeup half done and pumping breast milk” Penelope laughed, she felt much more relaxed after Luke’s words.

He managed to smirk, it was an amusing image but in that moment it was also a beautiful one to him, even though in some part of his heart he felt it was wrong seeing her getting ready to go out with someone else.

“Your mom doesn’t believe what I tell her, Jules, please don’t be like her when you grow up” Penelope swatted his stomach.

“Hey! Don’t put my baby against me” She reached to Julian and Luke got him closer to Pen “Go to sleep, my sweet boy, I love you” The sleepy baby barely registered his mom kissing his forehead.

Luke put Julian to sleep and half an hour later saw Penelope walk out the door, he tried to watch TV but got distracted every few minutes by his thoughts who were set on Penelope and how her date was going, he glanced at the clock every frequently and even at the door, hoping to see her come in and say she wasn’t going out anymore because she had realized it was him she wanted to be with.

He leaned back on the couch “Stop, Alvez” He said to himself, he thought about calling Matt but it was kinda late, so he decided against it, after what it seemed like an eternity, Penelope walked through the door, she quickly took off her shoes and coat, she didn’t see Luke until he spoke.

“Hey, how was it?” He said rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you”

 “It’s ok, I wasn’t sleeping well anyway, so did you have a good time?” Penelope smiled widely and nodded.

“JJ was right, he’s amazing, I-I think he could be the one, and I know it sounds precipitated to say that but...” Luke felt his heart break and couldn’t even focus on what she was saying, he felt his world starting to crumble down “Luke? Are you hearing what I’m saying?”

He snapped out of it “Yeah, yeah, I’m glad, Pen, uhm I guess we won’t have to complain to JJ about it” He rubbed his palms against his jeans and got up “I’m gonna call it a night, I’m gonna go up, ok? I’ll see you guys tomorrow”

“Ok, have a good night” She replied with the smile that had never left her lips since her date started, she really felt a connection with Sam.

A few weeks passed by and Luke called Matt to ask him if he wanted to go shoot some hoops with him, Matt found the urgency in his voice odd and was sure it was a bad sign, he agreed and met him at the basketball courts they frequented. As they started, Luke tried to tell him how he had felt ever since Penelope had started seeing Sam, he was going around about other things without saying what he actually meant.

At one moment when Luke tried to take the ball from Matt, he abruptly stopped and went to the bench signaling Luke to go with him.

“So you have feelings for Penelope” It was a statement not a question.

“That’s not what I-” Matt rolled his eyes.

“Cut the bullshit, Luke, I wasn’t asking, I know for a fact you do, it was bound to happen and that time we all went to your house, you looked at her the way I look at Kristy, the way Derek looks at Savannah”

“You should’ve told me then, maybe then she wouldn’t have gone out with mr. Wonderful”

“Hey, it wasn’t up to me to get your stubborn ass to come to terms with your feelings, it was something you had to figure out on your own, unfortunately you did until you saw her with someone else” He drank water as Luke sat beside him running his hands through his hair.

“Should I talk to Derek? Ask him some advice?” Matt snapped his head at him.

“About what? Winning her over? I hate to say this but if she’s happy with this Sam guy, you shouldn’t interfere” Luke looked at him feeling almost betrayed “Dude, I know she’s feeling very happy, she’s talked to Kristy and she seems hopeful to see where it leads”

Luke sat with his head in his hands, not liking what he was hearing but knowing Matt was right, Luke himself had witnessed Penelope’s new happiness and excitement over the relationship “Why do I have to be so fucking stupid? Imagine if I had known before, maybe it would’ve been us in a relationship” Matt patted his shoulder.

“Hey, their relationship is fairly new, no one knows, maybe they’ll be done in a few months and you’ll have your chance, don’t lose all hope but don’t interfere”

He sit up “I guess you’re right”

“You should try and find someone as well, give it a try and see where it goes”

“Yeah, maybe I will, I don’t know” Matt got up.

“Alright, let’s resume the game ‘cause I’m beating your ass, Alvez” Luke rolled his eyes and followed his friend.

A few days later, after getting some groceries Luke had encountered with Lisa, the woman he was on a date with the day Penelope had gone into labor, he remembered how nice she was and they agreed on meeting again sometime, soon after that they were dating and although he knew he still had feelings for Penelope, she was very happy with Sam, he had met him and he hated the fact that there wasn’t much to dislike about him. He was amazing to Penelope and Julian, he was attentive, very respectful, kind, and the list went on, Luke was starting to come to terms that maybe Penelope and Sam were going to become permanent at some point and it did hurt him to think about it, but then he remembered he had Lisa, who was also an incredible person that was very understanding of his co-parenting situation.

It was almost New Year’s and the entire gang were going to a cabin to spend it together, it was the first trip since Julian was born and Penelope and Luke brought significant others, everyone was excited to spend the holiday together.

Penelope was packing her suitcase for the trip, Luke had packed Julian’s the day before so she only had to worry about her stuff, she remembered Luke had her skis and went up to ask him if he could take them in his car. As the door opened she was met with a smiling Lisa, the one year old in Penelope’s arms squealed happily.

“Isa!” He extended his arms to her and Lisa looked at Penelope to which the blonde nodded and allowed Julian to go with her before asking to be down.

“Pen! You’re here, are you ready?” Luke greeted her.

Penelope swallowed unable to get her eyes off Lisa who was helping Julian to walk “Uhm yeah, almost ready, I was wondering if you could take my skis?”

“Sure thing, I already loaded them in the car”

“Alright, we’ll get going” Penelope announced wanting to have his son back in her arms.

“Hey, if you want we can take Jules” Luke suggested and before Penelope could say anything Lisa spoke.

“Oh, absolutely, we could do that” Penelope gave them a tight lipped smile and clasped her hands together.

“Alright if you want to, it’s alright, I mean, if you’re sure”

“Of course, he’s the sweetest boy, aren’t you Jules?” Julian hugged Lisa’s leg and Penelope felt something she didn’t know how to label.

“Ok then, I’ll see you guys later”

“Wait Pen, I’ll go down with you to get Jules’ stuff” Luke walked with her to the elevator and for the first time in years, there was an awkward silence, at least that’s how it felt to Penelope whereas to Luke was just a normal silence.

“Is it okay that Julian goes with us, right?” He turned to her.

“Oh, yeah, totally” She mirrored his actions.

“I’m really looking forward to this trip, it’s the first time JJ, Em, Derek and Savannah are gonna meet Lisa” Penelope shot him her best forced smile and nodded.

Luke was in fact, telling the truth, his relationship was in a good place, he felt hopeful about a future with Lisa, she was very clear by telling him that she was looking for something serious and it came as a surprise to him when he found himself telling Lisa, he was also expecting to be with someone for the long run and that they should work towards a relationship of that kind, he was finally moving on from Penelope.

Or so he thought.

The cabin they rented was beautiful, it was big but cozy at the same time, everyone, adults and kids, were excited to be spending the next few days there, getting to know Sam and Lisa a little bit more since everything indicated they could eventually be more present in their lives. Matt and Kristy entered carrying, what it seemed like twenty bags, followed by their five kids, David holding little Rose’s hand who was excited to be walking in the house.

“The Simmonses have arrived” Derek yelled as he walked over to them to help with their stuff.

“We have and we are ready for the kids to be with their uncles and aunts while mom and dad rest” Kristy joked placing the bags on the floor.

“You definitely deserve some relax time, you guys are saints” JJ said hugging the kids.

“Where are the others?” Mat asked.

“We’re here!” Penelope announced appearing from the kitchen walking hand in hand with Sam “I’d like you to meet Sam”

“Oh we’ve heard great things about you, it’s great to finally meet you, I’m Matt, this is Kristy, and these are Jake, David, Lily, Chloe and Rose” Sam shook hands with the married couple and high fived the kids.

“Nice to meet you all, I was looking forward to finally see you, I have two boys myself that are actually your age I think” He said to Jake and David “So if you want to play something maybe I can join you” Both kids eagerly nodded.

The next couple days, almost everyone seemed to be having a great time, except for Emily and JJ, they seemed a little bit off but no one dared to ask why, it was only at moments they would be quiet than usual and seemed to be a little bit out of it, they tried to put pieces together but no one seemed to have a clear idea of what was going on, they didn’t look distanced from each other nor from Emerson, so they tried to not interfere.

“Oh, I’m happy to see you’re feeling better, babe, are you joining us for breakfast?” Penelope said to Savannah who had missed previous breakfasts.

“Yes, I’ll be down in a minute” She replied while tapping Julian’s nose.

Penelope went down and found Sam helping the kids with their breakfasts, it was a funny and sweet sight, Jake, David, Chloe, Lily and Hank gathered around him as he placed pancakes on all of their plates.

“Look at you JJ, you finally got it right with Sam” Kristy teased her, JJ had the worst record setting up Penelope and it was a never ending joke between the group of friends.

The blonde woman rolled her eyes and smirked “If you ever decide to have a kid, Pen, I must be the godmother” She half joked.

“I don’t know, maybe eventually” Both Kristy and JJ snapped their heads at her “What? I think this is going somewhere, he has two kids, I have one but I don’t know”

“I can’t believe there’s something you don’t know, Pen” Luke’s voice made them turn around to see him walking from the hallway, having listened only the last part of what Penelope was saying “Good morning ladies, I made some coffee if you want”

“Thanks Luke, where’s Lisa?” Kristy questioned.

“Oh, she’s getting ready for the day, she’ll be out in a few”

Once they were all sitting in the large dining table, Derek called their attention, both him and Savannah had big smiles on their faces.

“We would like to tell you that next year we’ll need a bigger cabin” Savannah taking her husband’s hand.

Derek continued “There’s going to be not one, but two new Morgans causing trouble” The entire group erupted in cheers and congratulations, JJ’s eyes went immediately to her wife, she knew her and knew that it took everything in Emily to smile, they were going through some stuff.

Part of the group had decided to go skiing while the others preferred to stay at the cabin and drink some hot chocolate, Matt, Derek and Luke walked a few feet behind Sam, Lisa and JJ.

“So Morgan’s party of five? How are you holding up?” Matt asked Derek, he remembered the surprise, nervousness and excitement that came when receiving the news he was going to have twins.

“Oh man, I can’t believe it, I still am processing all of it, Hank’s four so I’m not even sure I remember exactly how life with a newborn is, let alone two” All along Luke and Matt noticed how his features softened.

“I bet you and Savannah will get the hang of it” Luke assured him.

“You know we got you guys, so anything we can help with, I’m sure there’s some stuff we have that we don’t use anymore but it’s in great shape that you could use” Matt added and Derek felt thankful for them, all of them.

“Now that I have a son maybe you’ll finally trust me to babysit” 

“I’m not sure, we’ll see, we’ll see” Derek teased him and Luke scoffed.

“I vouch for him, Derek, I’m actually sort of proud of you, dude” Matt turned to Luke “It’s really warming to see you with Julian”

“I gotta agree with that, I was just messing with you Luke, what Matt is saying it’s true, I’ve loved to witness both you and baby girl, as parents to Jules”

“Thanks guys, it means a lot to have your support and to have you as a part of Julian’s life” Luke spoke from his heart but he also needed to point something out “Not to end the soft moment here, but did you see Sam’s face the other night when you called Penelope ‘baby girl’?”

“Oh I did, it took everything in me not to burst into laughter, Kristy actually kicked me in the shin beneath the table” Luke laughed.

“Honestly I’m so used to it that I didn’t notice but Savannah did and she told me to do something about it but Penelope assured me that she had explained everything to him and that he seemed fine with it, but I’ve toned it down a lot, I don’t know, I think this could be it for Penelope you know?” Luke swallowed, he had thought about it but wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Matt spoke up “They seem to be very serious, I like him”

“I guess I do too?” Derek shrugged, his mind remembering how just a few months ago he was convinced Luke was the one for Penelope, Luke and Matt eyed him curiously and that made him rephrase his words “I-I do like him, it’s just I’m super protective of her but he makes her happy so yeah” Luke refrained from offering his thoughts on Penelope’s relationship, he wasn’t sure what he made of it, how he felt, just then Lisa called out for him and he remembered he had an amazing woman in his life.

It was finally New Year’s Eve, the kids were all asleep and the adults were planning on enjoying dinner and drinks together, they were halfway through their dinner when Sam brought up an interesting subject.

“I have to say, I’ve been curious how did you come up with the idea of having a child together? Whose idea was it?” He wondered genuinely interested in listening the story.

“I… Don’t remember” Penelope tried to shrug it off, not wanting to discuss that in front of everyone.

“It was me actually, I had the idea, she had talked to me about wanting to be a mom and I wanted to be a dad and next thing we know we had Jules” Luke replied nonchalantly.

“The truth is he wanted this genepool for his kid, I mean, can you blame him?” Penelope joked while signaling herself.

“And have you thought what exactly are you gonna tell him when he’s older? About his parents being with other people” Lisa inquiried, her tone wasn’t rude at all.

The rest listened and focused on their plates, that was until a tipsy Emily decided to jump in the conversation.

“Oh, I want to listen to this, I bet they didn’t think about it”

“Well we might have talked about it once or twice but didn’t came up with a plan exactly” Penelope replied nervously, thinking it wasn’t any of their business, except Luke and hers.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, at least you were always aware that you were going to have the conversation, I never believed I had to until I got divorced” Sam interjected, regretting bringing up the subject.

“No, but that actually makes more sense to me, I mean why you decide that you’ll bring a child into a world with someone you don’t love” The alcohol started to make Emily talk way more than she intended to

JJ tried to stop her, she took her hand “Babe, stop” Emily shook her hand and ignored her suggestion.

“You were in love with your wife I assume, I understand shit happens, people get divorced all the time and have to talk about this with their kids but doing it deliberately? I can’t fucking understand it”

Luke cleared his throat “Em, with all due respect, that’s how you think but-” Emily cut him off.

“No, not only me, everyone on this table believed you were crazy for doing this” She slurred “We all thought having a kid with someone you don’t love wasn’t the brightest idea”

Penelope who had remained silent, couldn’t hold it anymore and started to speak “Ok Emily but how are you so sure we don’t love each other? I’ve known Luke for more than half of my life, he’s one of my closest friends” She took a deep breath trying not to raise her voice and continued “He has been there through the good and the bad more than any of you have, sure it’s because we’ve been practically neighbors for years but that doesn’t make it less valid, I know pretty much anything there is to know about him and I love him for who he is, I know why when we first met him he was kind of a loner, I know he’s not a great cook but he does a mean lasagna, I know he’s loyal and honest and has one of the kindest hearts ever, we have the same values, we have the same sense of humor, I know his position on just about everything and I wholeheartedly agree with him, what better man could I have possibly chose to be the father of my son? Huh? So please refrain from giving your opinion on something that’s not your business at all, Em” Luke seemed to be at loss of words, many different emotions were going through his heart, for a second he forgot why was Penelope telling all of this, because of Emily, and everyone else seemed to fade into the background, he wasn’t moving on with his life, he was deeply in love with Penelope Garcia.

“Well-” Penelope cut Savannah off

“And I know, I just know that no matter what happens in a year or two or ten, we’ll be fine, because we love each other” She finished feeling how her pulse had quickened.

Emily snorted “Alright if you say so, but let me tell you something, you seem fine now but life gets complicated, friends” She addressed the entire gang “You don’t know it yet but it does” She rushed to their bedroom and JJ goes after her not before muttering apologies to Penelope, Luke and the rest of their friends, everyone is uncomfortable and confused by Emily’s outburst.

Penelope is excited to see everyone and celebrate Luke’s birthday together, she’s rushes out of the cab to the restaurant, only to find Luke in the waiting area of the restaurant.

“Hi, happy birthday” Luke hugged her “Where’s everybody? I thought I was going to be the last one here?” She breathed out.

“Oh, it’s just us tonight” Penelope frowned but didn’t say a thing “Julian seemed really happy to be with his grandma” Luke tried to change the subject so she wouldn’t question him. 

“Aw, he does love her, how’s your mom?” He took the chair out for her and then proceeded to take his sit.

“She’s doing alright, she asked me to say hi to you” He passed the message, knowing his mom wouldn’t forgive him if he forgot to do so.

“I should go and visit Elena one of these days, talking to her always lifts my spirits”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to see you, she loves you, Pen” He leaned against the table and took her hand in his.

“She’s the sweetest, really” She adjusted her glasses and opened the menu “And where’s Lisa?” 

“No Lisa tonight, she’s on duty” He lied, rubbing his beard. 

Penelope pouted “Oh, I’m sorry, Luke” When he saw her sympathetic look he decided to cut the act.

“Don’t be, because it’s actually not true” Her face filled with confusion.

“Oh no, what happened?”

“Nothing, everything was great, she’s great” Luke looked down and felt it coming.

“Then what’s wrong?” Penelope asked with a furrowed eyebrows.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m sure my mom would’ve loved her but…” He looked in her eyes and once again grabbed her hand “All I do when I’m with her is think about you and only you” Penelope mouth fell open, she felt the air removed from her lungs “I didn’t want her here tonight nor anyone really, I broke things off with her, I wanted my family with me and I realized you are my family” His voice broke “You and Julian are everything I need to get through life” The moment Penelope realized there were tears on his eyes, her own vision became blurry, she moved her chair to be next to him and leaned her head in his shoulder. 

Next thing she knew Luke was lifting her chin and searching for her lips, she pulled away even before their lips touched “Luke, I’m with Sam”

“Oh, yeah, sorry I should allow you to talk to him before-” Penelope closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“We’re moving in together” Luke forgot how to breathe for a moment “I met his kids a few months ago and we’ve been talking about taking the next step ever since and we found a great place, I’m sorry, Luke”

He looked confused “But what about all you said that time Emily questioned us?”

Penelope look dumbfounded “I-I, it wasn’t a lie, I meant everything that I said, I love you but I-I’m not-” She took the hair out of her face “I love you so much as a friend, I thought we were on the same page, I don’t know what-” Luke let her go and got up, he needed to get out of there “Luke, wait” Before Penelope could walk to him, he was gone, and she was left there not knowing what to do of his confession.

The truth was her and Sam were in a great place, they were looking forward to start a life together, they had even discussed marriage, Julian loved him, she loved Taylor and Benji, Sam’s kids, everything seemed to fall into place with him.

The next months after that, Luke and Penelope barely spoke unless it was regarding Julian, the times where they would just spend weekends together with their son were long gone, Julian still spent a lot of time with his parents just separately, Penelope was starting to pack their stuff, she felt terrible and she wanted Luke to lash out at her, to tell her off, yell at her for taking Julian to another house, instead all Luke ever did was remain distant, she couldn’t blame him but she missed her best friend.

Penelope sighed “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” Derek said, he had offered to help her packing the last stuff before she was out of the apartment.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake by moving in with Sam?” He frowned, not knowing exactly where that was coming from, she had seemed when she told him and Savannah the news.

“I think you should do what makes you happy, if-” Penelope didn’t let him finish his sentence.

“Do you think I should’ve given Luke and I a chance?” Derek’s eyebrows raised, he was surprised at her question.

“Why are you asking this?” Penelope bit her lip and then sat down on the floor, since there was no couch or chairs left, and proceeded to tell him what had happened a few months ago, as Derek listened he didn’t have it in him to be surprised by Luke’s feelings nor Penelope’s second guessing her decision.

“Look, baby girl” He started as he cleaned the tears falling on her cheeks “I still think you should do what makes you happy, and follow your heart, you shouldn’t do something because you feel obligated to, you know? Moving in with Sam because you already leased the house or give Luke a chance because he’s the father of your son” Derek wrapped an arm around her “There’s nothing more I want than to see you happy, whether is with Sam, Luke, only you and Jules, look, even if you wanna go back to what’s-his-name let’s go live in a farm guy?” She laughed through the tears “I want you to be happy and I’ll be there for you, ok?”

“Ok” She managed to say “Kevin, he was the one that wanted me us to go and live in a farm”

“Alright, well if you wanna go live in a farm I’m sure Julian will love all the free space to run around” They laughed and Derek kissed her forehead, hoping she’d follow his advice and go with whatever made her truly happy.

Penelope was meeting Emily for drinks, she entered the bar to see Emily already sitting there, she greeted her and they started to catch up, it had been a really long time since they last saw each other, once again, life making it complicated to hang out more often.

“So” Emily started “I don’t think I ever actually apologized about that one time” She felt embarrassed reminiscing her behaviour during that New Year’s.

“Come on, Em” Penelope waved her off “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything”

“No, but I do, I was- we were going through a difficult time, JJ and I were going through the adoption process for Nick and we weren’t getting matched and there were a lot of setbacks, that’s why we didn’t tell any of you at the time but it was difficult for us and of course, JJ was way better than at handling everything and I just let out my frustration that time when it wasn’t my place to say anything, I was an asshole to you” Penelope placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t say that, Emily, we all snap sometimes, I’m sorry you were going through that but now you have Nick and he’s a great kid” Penelope smiled remembering the curly boy.

“I didn’t mean anything that I said, I mean, we did have our doubts but you proved it was possible to do what you did”

“Oh no, I actually think you were right, it’s a bit of a mess right now” Penelope looked away.

“I... Know, and even though the situation is not great right now, I’m sure you’ll get through it” Emily gave her a sympathetic smile and Penelope nodded “I gotta say one more thing though, I’ll never understand why you guys didn’t even try”

The blonde woman just shrugged, at that point neither did she “It’s just, we’ve been friends for half of our lives, it would’ve been, I don’t know, weird? We’ve seen each other at our worse and our best, he’s like always been there” As much as Penelope tried to convince herself it wouldn’t have worked out, she never actually did it.

“Babe, I don’t see how that’s bad” Emily commented taking a sip of her drink, her words echoed in Penelope’s head.

Luke opened the door and Julian immediately launched himself at him.

“Daddy!” He clung onto Luke’s neck while Penelope awkwardly stood there.

“Sorry I couldn’t pick him up tonight” Luke said, looking at Julian instead of her, he was still hurt but really trying to move on this time.

“Don’t worry, it’s ok” Luke expected to see her turn around and go back to her place but she remained there “I found this at my place, it’s your birthday present from last year, you never actually got it so I thought I should bring it” He saw the bag in her hands and it just reminded him of the day he had gotten his heart broken.

“Oh, Penelope, I appreciate it but I’m fine, I don’t need anything”

“Please, I insist” She offered it to him and Julian was fast take it.

“Open it, daddy!” He started to kick his legs so Luke would put him down.

“I’ll open it tomorrow, bud, it’s time for bed now” He could see Julian was not happy about it. 

“NO!” Julian dropped to the floor “Open it! Open it!” The terrible twos were not a joke, he started to throw kicks and Luke kneeled to his level.

“Jules, it’s time to go to bed, come on” He grabbed him in his arms.

“Open the pwesent” Luke sighed.

“I’ll make you a deal, we open it and then you go to bed” Julian seemed to calm.

“I’m gonna get going now, good night Jules, have sweet dreams, my love” She took a step to them and leaned to kiss Julian’s head, when she was about to step away she grabbed her sweater.

“Stay!” Penelope softly took his little hand and let herself free from his grasp.

“I can’t, I gotta go, baby” Julian started to cry.

“Maybe you can stay and help us with bedtime” Luke suggested, Penelope silently agreed.

They walked towards Julian’s bedroom and Penelope felt like an outsider, it had been a long time since she had walked inside Luke’s home, once they got there, she helped Julian to put on his PJ’s while Luke watched them and untuck his bed covers. 

“Pwesent!” Julian said once he was underneath his blankets, each of his parents sat on either side of the bed next to him.

Luke opened the bag and put out something that look like a binder? Photo album? ‘Luke + Jules + Pen’ was engraved on the cover, when he opened it, he saw it was a scrapbook, it had photos of him and Penelope when they first met back in college, ticket stubs of that time when Penelope was in different plays, from when all of the gang had gone to see the Yankees, Luke’s favorite baseball team, photos of them with their friends and then it was Julian’s first sonogram, photos of Penelope pregnant, photos of their baby shower, their first picture the three of them that Savannah had taken at the hospital, all of it was filled with memories.

Luke closed it abruptly, it was all too much for him “Alright, bud, it’s time for you to sleep, we’re picking up Roxy from the shelter tomorrow, remember?” A sleepy boy nodded and just when Penelope and Luke thought they had won, Julian spoke again.

“Mommy, stay!” Penelope tried her best to smile.

“I have to go to your other home, remember?” Luke noticed how Penelope’s voice faltered and decided to back her up.

“Julian, remember what I told you about your two houses? That only the most special little boys get two, so Mommy needs to go and take care of your other house”

“I want Mommy to stay!” He demanded, starting to cry again.

It took everything in Penelope not to tell him that he wanted to stay as well so she just held him and sang the lullaby Luke used to sing to him when he was a baby, it didn’t take long until he fell asleep, Penelope kissed his forehead and silently left the room with Luke behind her.

Before she could speak Luke beat her to it “Drive safe, I’ll take him to you on Sunday” He said and Penelope could only nod as she walked out of the door an to her car.

She sat there for a few minutes, not realizing tears were rolling down her cheeks, when she calmed down she started to drive home, it took her ten minutes to decide she was not going home, she made an u-turn to go back to Luke’s place.

She knocked, unsure what she was going to say but trusting it would be the right thing.

“Penelope? Did you forget something?” Luke asked, confused as to why she was back.

She walked right past him into his apartment “Remember when I asked you if you had met your person?” She said with tears in her eyes.

“Yes” He breathed out.

“We both said no” Penelope stated “Can you ask me if I’ve met my person, please?” Luke felt some sort of anger form in his chest.

“Why? So you can tell me it’s perfect Sam? I don’t under-”

“Please” She interrupted him “Please ask me”

“Have you met your person?”

“Yeah, I have, for a long time now, but I was an idiot and I didn’t realize it until just recently” She said through her sobs, Luke forgot how to breathe, playing her words over and over again “When I found your present and looked through it I realized it’s you, it has been you all along, Luke, you’re my person”

Luke didn’t waste no time and kissed her, feeling his heart being mend with every second that passed, when they pulled away, he asked “What about Sam?”

“He’s been out of the picture for months” She admitted and Luke resumed their kiss only to pull apart immediately.

“You’re my person, Penelope, always have, always will” He choked out.

“I love you, Luke” She caressed his face in her hands.

Luke closed her eyes, her words giving him a joy he didn’t knew existed “I love you too, Penelope” 

“So… Can I stay?” She chuckled through her tears.

“Only if you stay forever” Luke answered and took her in his arms, planning to make up for all the lost time where he wasn’t able to show her how much he loved her.

“Home, let me come home, home is wherever I’m with you” 

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

[wienerbarnes]

Cheek to Cheek (3/5)

Pairing: Bucky x Criminal!Reader

Word Count: 1,497

Warnings: Injuries, creepy kidnapping environment

A/N: wouldnt be my series if i didnt post late :) ngl i got drunk and forgot LMAO but here’s part 3! ill post again tomorrow to catch up <3

SERIES MASTERLIST

Bucky ignores Sam’s phone call asking him to go help out the next day. He’s set up a last minute appointment with his therapist after what occurred in that room yesterday; an appointment he’s on his way to now. As he reaches a stoplight on his bike, he pulls out his phone and listens to the voicemail Sharon left him late last night.

“Hey, Buck. Don’t worry about helping out tomorrow. I know Sam will ask you, but I can tell you need to rest. We’ll get this case figured out; we’ve already exposed her as a fraud. We’ll probably do some more interrogating tomorrow, she’s probably orchestrating the kidnapping for some reason. I’ll keep you updated. Take care.” Her voice cuts off with a beep in Bucky’s headphones and he lets out a sigh as the light changes.

He continues along the road, absentmindedly looking about his surrounds, when something catches his eye.

A light up sign of a waterfall, the neon not yet turned on now during the day, with the word “NIAGARA” spelled out; the building looks like a bar of some sort.

“Waterfall. W-water falling. N-not water.” Your voice flashes in his mind.

Don’t let her get in your fucking head, Barnes. Fuck! Get a hold of yourself, Bucky scolds himself. As Bucky nears the corner of the next block, he sees a statue of an angel with wings.

“An angel of stone.” He’s reminded of you again.

He turns right at this block and decides to take the long way to his therapist’s office. He lets out puffs of breath to calm himself and stop from freaking the fuck out. “It’s nothing. You’re creating coincidences in your mind.” Bucky says to himself.

As he drives down the alleyway, he slows down next to a large building, a warehouse. There’s a sign on the fence that says “CONDEMNED”. The chain around the lock has been broken.

“A cellar… Warehouse, condemned.”

Bucky parks his bike. 

He quietly sneaks throughout the warehouse, gun and pocket flashlight drawn in front of him. The warehouse is almost pitch black inside, smelling of gasoline, garbage, and death. There’s a steady dripping coming from somewhere along the ceiling and an occasional flutter of bird wings of pigeons who got lost in there. He eventually comes up to an open space, still lit candles scattered along the ground. Must of been recent if they’re still lit. Something shiny catches Bucky’s eye and he kneels on the ground to get a closer look. A gold bracelet. A very familiar looking bracelet. A bracelet he saw in one of the photos of Elizabeth Hawley Sharon showed him two days ago. He picks up the bracelet in his metal hand and stuffs it in his jacket pocket. He looks forward a few feet in front of him and sees a wire coat hanger on the ground.

“A-and a hanger. They whip him with a coat hanger. A wire coat hanger…”

Bucky cancels his appointment and calls Sam.

…

“They made a positive ID on the bracelet you found, Bucky. Good work.” Sharon praises him as they meet back at the tower.

There’s a moment of silence as Sharon and Sam organized their notes from the crime scene they’ve just left. The crime scene Bucky stumbled upon.

“I lied to the FBI about how a found the warehouse.” Bucky blurts out, not making eye contact with either of his partners.

“Excuse me?” Sam stares at him.

“How’d you find it?” Sharon’s voice raises.

“...It was where she said it’d be.” Bucky says and his teammates sigh with annoyance.

“Bucky, what if it was a set up? You could be dead right now!” Sharon scolds him.

“We have to go back and interrogate her again.” Bucky says. Sam and Sharon glance at each other before looking back at Bucky.

“We have three more days until those kids are dead and then our only connection to this case gets lethal injection two days after that. It’s the only thing that’s worked.” Bucky rationalizes to them.

Bucky sees the gears turning in their heads as they think about the non-existent other options they have.

“I’ll call the ward.” Sharon says before walking out of the room.

…

“His eyes are cold. So cold.”

“Describe him.” Sam demands.

Your eyes look tired as they look at Sams. You almost look childlike. Like a toddler who’s gone too long without a nap. Or a hug. Or any kind of touch that didn’t inflict pain. Bucky doesn’t know what it is, but he feels something deep down inside him for you. Maybe it’s sadness. Maybe it's pity. Maybe it’s his own instinct to save and take care of people. Maybe it’s guilt. For what, he’s not sure. But he wants to help you so bad and you don’t seem to know what you need help for.

“I see a, a scar. Tall, pale guy. Late 20’s.” You begin. You pause and your brows furrow as your lip begins to tremble ever so slightly. “He’s looking at Elizabeth. He’s gonna get the hanger…” Tear quickly gather in your eyes and you shut them tight.

“Where is he?” Sam asks.

“By the window… he’s waiting… It’s a small boathouse on Lake Seneca.” You finally force out, your voice thick with emotion.

“You got that?” Sam turns to Sharon as she wordlessly finishes writing in her notepad before standing and collecting her things, Bucky following suit.

The three of them begin to file out of the room when she stops them.

“Miss Carter?” Your voice whispers.

Sharon turns to look at you, waiting for whatever you’re going to tell her. “Don’t go near the white cross… We see you down… and your blood spills on the white cross.” You warn.

Sharon looks at you for a few more seconds before walking out of the room, her two partners following after her.

…

The three suit up in silence in the jet ride there. Tactical gear, guns and knives, and bullet proof vest for Sharon. Bucky insisted she wear one after that white cross comment from you.

The boathouse looks abandoned. Grass is overgrown, floorboards of the front porch are torn to shreds and the paint is chipping on the sides of the house. There’s silence as they approach; not even crickets are sticking around this shit-hole. 

The air is cold and sharp, as though there’s thousands of needle pricks hitting Bucky’s skin as he walks, no matter how slow he steps. It’s the kind of atmosphere that makes you want to rip your hair out for no reason, or just scream into the void as loud as you can. It’s the type of atmosphere that can make a person go insane if they’re around here for too long. It’s eerie. And Bucky hates it.

The three of them finally enter the building, immediately finding Elizabeth and James tied up in the corner of the room. Sam rushes to them to rid the gags from their mouths and untie their restraints.

“Sweep the docks!” He orders.

Bucky and Sharon head off in a similar direction but split off at the docks to clear the area.

Sharon’s steps along the end of the dock are silent. She sees the water at the other end shifting calmly due to the small boat tied to the pillar. She raises her gun and flashlight towards the boat, the large tarp draped over it raising her suspicions. The longer she stares at it, the less sure she is that there is or isn’t something under there. 

It all happens in a second. It one small crease in the tarp that outlines a body and she yells, “Special agent! Don’t move!” before a shot is fired and knocks her off her feet.

Her back slams against the ground and a groan escapes her and the boat motor echoes into the night as it speeds off. She feels large hands rip her tactical gear open and she peeks down to see one single bullet lodged into the bullet proof vest. She glances at Bucky, who’s lightly feeling over her arms and the rest of her torso to ensure there’s no other injuries, and she closes her eyes again in both annoyance and getting the wind knocked out of her.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., get medical ready back at the tower, just in case.”

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky sighs and glances around the area before noticing something.

“Don’t go near the white cross… We see you down… and your blood spills on the white cross.”

A tall white cross, standing about fifteen feet tall stands at the corner of the dock where Sharon lays. If not for her bullet proof vest, her blood would’ve splattered across the white frame.

A shiver crawls up Bucky’s spine and a hand on his shoulder makes him jolt.

“C’mon, man. Let’s get her up. Hopefully Red Wing caught some footage of the boat we can analyze back at the tower. Elizabeth and James are waiting on the jet hooked up to IV’s.” Sam informs him, crouching down to his level so they can hoist Sharon up.

Bucky’s takes one last look at the cross before walking with Sam back to the jet.

[hoochy-coo]

Ik its like impossible bc of her diet coke contract but bare with my daydream. if Taylor were to do the halftime show what do you think she could sing? and do you think a big performance like that would suit her? if the big 2016/2017 cancelation hadn't happen and we had that recent rep rollout it would have been so good. ready for it, idsb, bad blood with kendrick and closing with sio I'm thinking (also haven't seen abels that's why I'm not asking what you thought of his)

Can Taylor just take a year break or something from her coke contract so she can do the halftime show? I agree with you that it was her time during the Rep era and had she promoted more singles for it, I think she could have bagged the gig that year. And yes, I think she would put on a hell of a show! I don’t think she’s the best vocalist or performer but I think she’s innovative enough to pump out an engaging set. I need her to do the opposite of what Abel did this year and gather some feature artists to perform with her. It would be so iconic if she got Ed Sheeran, Lorde, and Kendrick to come out for the show. I feel like she’d need to perform her old hits like ‘Love Story’ and ‘Shake It Off’ though, but hopefully, she gives ME! a skip lmao 

I’ve seen bits and pieces of Abel’s show and ugh, why did they have to do his mic dirty? 💀

[honeylikewords]

I am freaking out over all the Marvel news out of Comic Con. You?

Honestly, when I first got this ask, I was going to answer “no” because I legitimately hadn’t heard anything from Marvel at all. All I knew was that we were in for a bunch of Disney+ shows like Loki, which I wasn’t interested in, and Falcon and Winter Soldier, which I am interested in but concerned about.

But then I did a quick Google, and saw that there’s plenty of other stuff to be excited about, so here’s a listicle-style breakdown of what I am and am not excited for, as was released in the press junkets regarding the SDCC Marvel Hall H panel.

1. Black Widow: Nope, not interested. Way, way back in 2012, I might have cared, given that Natasha was LITERALLY THE ONLY WOMAN in the MCU with any agency or hero role, but now that we have significantly more women, significantly more interesting women, and women of color (who aren’t played by white women stealing roles from actual WOC lmao), I think we don’t really... need a Black Widow movie. I mean, cool that David Harbour will be in it, but, uh... yeah, count me out of that one.

2. Falcon and Winter Soldier: Yeah, I’m excited for this one! Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan have a lot of fun chemistry, and I hope the series plays up the fun buddy-cop aspect of their relationship rather than “doom and gloom, Steve is gone, boohoo” stuff. They deserve to be heroes in their own rights and to not live in Steve’s shadow. Also, I’m not hugely into Bucky Barnes (I kinda find him boring, sorry) so I hope the series will, at least a little, start to endear me more to him. But I am very excited to see Sam getting more screentime!

3. Eternals: Eh, can’t really say. I don’t know enough about the original Eternals, nor do I have any information about who the new Eternals will be to weigh in. Ask me again when we’re closer to the release date.

4. Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings: Honestly, some warning flags are popping up for me on this one. Much as I want more POC led MCU films (and just, fucking, like, any films in general), Marvel comics has a pernicious history surrounding Asian fetishism and mysticism. I’ve talked about it before with my hatred for Iron Fist, and the problems Marvel had during the big “Asian Craze” of the 60s and 70s, but I really do worry about re-adapting works based in and rooted in the comics made during those times. I don’t know enough about Shang-Chi’s origins to weigh in just yet, but I am on high-alert about how this could go wrong. Hopefully, though, with actual Asian and POC actors involved in the project, it will be done tastefully and respectfully. Hopefully.

5. WandaVision: Nah. I never liked either character to begin with so I’m not really gonna waste my brainspace on some TV show about a random white girl and her toaster boyfriend. I know that sounds mean but I have a lot of pent up anger about how the MCU depicted the Maximoffs, given that the Maximoffs were originally Jewish and survivors of the Hol*caust, but then somehow the MCU decided to make them not only white, but white people working with a literal N*zi organization. So I have beef with that, and I just... don’t care about Wanda or Vision. They haven’t been with us long enough for any of us to really, you know, see them have arcs or be meaningful people. They’re just kinda there. So no thanks. Maybe if the show turns out to be great, I’ll watch, but as it stands, I’m uninterested.

5. Doctor Strange: Multiverse Of Madness: Eh. I never saw the original Doctor Strange because of the whitewashing issues and Benedict Cumberbatch’s, shall we say, history of anti-autism comments and classist perceptions about poor and undereducated people, so I just noped out of that. But I also didn’t like Stephen Strange from what I saw in the other MCU films I have seen him in, so I don’t feel like I’m missing much. If this movie turns out to be cool (apparently, it’s going to be the MCU’s first “scary” film, whatever that means?), I might see it, but for now it’s largely off my radar.

6. Loki: Nnnnnnnnnot especially excited. As I’ve said before, I like Ragnarok Loki, and that’s about it. 2012 Loki was, no joke, literally set up as a N*zi, and y’all know how I feel about N*zis. I’m not being hyperbolic. He is literally supposed to be equitable to a N*zi. So I’m disappointed that we’ve regressed all of his character development back in time to his worst stage, and we’re going to be seeing that play out in his show. Hopefully, the directors allow Tom Hiddleston to have more fun with Loki, because holy shit does Tom have great comedic timing, and I hope we get some redemption for Loki, because as it stands, I feel sad and hurt that they just threw away everything Loki grew into being. And if you’re one of those salty “Loki is a Classy, Intelligent, Sexy Villain, And Ragnarok Made Him DUMB, Give Us Back Our King” fans, please leave me alone. He was gross and greasy and weird and Ragnarok made him funny and likable, in me humble onion. Also, Loki is canonically not straight, not cisgender, and has been pregnant with horse babies, so, uh, let’s all just chill out and have some fun.

7.  What If...?: The What If...? comics can be really confusing and fun, alternatingly. So it’ll be interesting to see how this show manifests itself to match the wild, changing, freewheeling chaos of the What If...? storylines. Let’s see what happens!

8. Hawkeye: FUCK I AM SO MAD THAT THIS ISN’T AN ANIMATED SERIES BASED ON THE HAWKEYE COMICS THAT CAME OUT RECENTLY. FUCK. I would have loved that! But instead we’re getting Ronin Hawkeye (which sounds so dumb and also question-mark-y racist?). At least we’ll be getting Kate Bishop, I guess. C’est la vie. Not a fan of the Jeremy Renner Hawkeye, tbh, so I don’t know how this show will keep my interest, but fingers crossed.

9. Thor: Love and Thunder: BUCKLE UP BOYS I FINALLY HAVE A MOVIE TO CARE ABOUT YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW AMEN PRAISE GOD WE HAVE A GOOD MOVIE COMING YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FEMALE THOR AAAAAAAAAAAAA GAY RIGHTS YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FUCK! I AM SO HAPPY OH MY G O D!

10. Blade: YEE FUCKING HAW! Mahershala Ali has been in the MCU three times now (1st as Cottonmouth in Luke Cage, 2nd as Uncle Aaron in ITSV, and now as Blade!) and I’m both pleasantly surprised and a little confused, since the MCU very rarely reuses actors. Oh, well! I’m so happy to see him back and I hope Blade does him justice. I worry that the original Blade (comics and movie alike) were a little, uh, Blaxploitation-y, so I hope this update will be more thoughtful and more progressive in its depictions. But at the end of the day, this is one I’ll be watching.

11. Fantastic Four: I’m worried but hopeful. The last swings at making a Fantastic Four film have been, um, mixed to say the least. Fingers crossed for a diverse set of characters this time! Although I do think that David Harbour being in the Black Widow movie does rule him out of being The Thing, as was previously speculated. Well, anyway, here’s hoping it’s good.

12. Black Panther 2: SHIT BOI DO I DIE I AM READY YES YES YES YESSSSS 

But please for the love of GOD bring back Ryan Coogler to direct. I don’t trust this story in the hands of, well, non-black people, especially because the story of Black Panther is so intrinsically tied to the black experience. That being said, I’m ready and excited for a return to Wakanda and to see what is next in T’Challa’s saga. Also, please, more Shuri, more Nakia, more Okoye. Honestly, Black Panther brought us some of the best women in the MCU so just... bring back all the ladies. Ramonda too!

13. Guardians of the Galaxy 3: I’m a little nervous about this one re: the issues surrounding the firing of James Gunn (which is, like, such a can of worms to get into), but fingers crossed. The GOTG films are really fun and such a great break from the rest of the dull, painfully self-absorbed MCU, so I hope that the light-hearted tone and center on found family comes back. I also hear that this one will be more female-centric (focusing on Gamora, I believe?) so that’s good to hear!

14. Captain Marvel 2: I didn’t see the first one, but, hey, my lesbian friends sure are happy to have Carol back so you’ve got my approval on that one, Marvel.

15. Mutants: DOES THIS MEAN...MCU X-MEN...I’M SCARED...SOMEONE HOLD ME

16. This one technically isn’t MCU but it’s what I’m most excited for...

THE SPIDERMAN 2099 COMICS ARE COMING BACK!

I’M SO HAPPY I GET TO SEE MY BOY MIGGY AGAIN I AM SO SO SO SO HAPPY OH MY GOD I WAS SO SCARED THEY’D PERMANENTLY CANCELLED MIGGY BUT HE’S HOME I GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN I COULD JUST C R Y AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

anyway, that’s just what I’m excited for. Y’all tell me if I missed anything or if there’s other updates or news! Or tell me what you’re excited for-- I’d love to hear!

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2018

It’s time for my annual evening of reflection everybody! The moment you’ve all been waiting for! It feels kinda weird to make a post like this because I feel like I haven’t done this kind of thing in ages, but it’s tradition and I like making these, so I’ve got last year’s post right with me and I’m ready for some reflection!

The Beginning of 2018 vs. Now Honestly, I don’t really remember much from the beginning of the year? I just know that I was working as a postman back then and that’s basically all I did during that period. It was cold outside, I disliked my job and I was unsure of which subject to pick to study in university. I also had some pretty bad dysphoria days around like... march? I don’t really remember. It wasn’t all bad though, I already felt a lot better than the year before and I was optimistic that it would get even better in the future. 

Best things about 2018 The very best thing to happen this year was my top-surgery. I’d been waiting for the moment I got my surgery for more than 2 years and the dysphoria became increasingly harder to deal with. On top of that I was constantly scared that something would happen that would cancel or delay my surgery. Not being able to get surgery was my #1 fear. Now, I finally can put that all behind me. I’m not fully healed yet, I still need to wear stickers to make my scars less visible, but I haven’t felt any dysphoria since my surgery. I’ve honestly never been this happy with my body. I’m still not perfect and still waiting for some testosterone changes (hurry up beard) but apart from that I am actually.... done... with my transition... whoah

The second best thing of the year was starting university. I honestly love going to school everyday, and I’ve already made a lot of new friends. I even don’t hate doing the homework, and I’m actually motivated to work hard and succeed. University has made my life so much better and I honestly haven’t been this happy since 2015. Bless uni.

Another thing that comes to mind (or things, really) is all the people I saw live this year. I saw Paramore in january, Markiplier in feburary, Evanescence in march, Dan and Phil, Ed Sheeran AND Queen in june, Jacksepticeye (for the second time) in October and Maria Mena (also for the second time) in December and every single one of those events was amazing. I crossed a lot of things of my bucketlist this year haha. Now all I need is to see my favourite kpop groups live (but I’m going to Day6 next month so I have high expectations)

There were more good things this year but they were mostly minor things. SHINee released some amazing music, LOONA debuted, I got into Stray Kids and Seventeen, discovered lots of great music, I (finally) quit my acting class after nailing the main part in our last performance, and I got my driver’s licence. I started driving lessons is Feburary, then had my first exam in june, failed it, took a small break, started again in october and finally got my licence in november. I hated those lessons with all my heart and they really depressed me, so when I finally passed and got my licence, I threw the biggest party lmao

My resolutions for 2018? So here it is, the moment of truth. I don’t even remember last years resolutions and I purposely didn’t look them up so this would all be a fresh new surprise. I always love looking back at these. That’s like 90% of the fun of making them

finally decide what to study - I’m studying English language and literature in Leiden right now and I have tests next week haha

Get Top-Surgery - Did That. Hell yeah

Write at least 100 pages of a story - I have written a little more than the previous year, but I still don’t think it’s more than 10 pages... that’s dissappointing.

Accomplish my reading challenge on goodreads - ...another fail. But! I read 24/35 books this year and that’s already 2 more than last year so there’s progress. We’ll get there eventually.

Start University - You already know the answer to that

Make new friends - Did that too! I’ve got a group of friends from university and they’re awesome

Quit my acting classes - Another success!

Learn how to drive - Even got my license ;)

Improve my drawing skills (maybe make a comic?) - Hmm I didn’t really draw much this year, and I definately didn’t make a comic, but I still think my art has improved slightly so that’s kind of a win?

Reach 300 followers on tumblr - BOI. DEFINATELY DID THAT. I’ve got 812 followers as I’m typing this right now.

Get more than 20 subs on Youtube and consistently create content for my channel - I’ve got 27 subs right now, and I’ve posted every single week. I was only late like once or twice in a whole year. I think I can call that a success.

Learn Divenire on the Piano - Ouch... still only know half the song. That’s a failure.

Dye my hair - Sadly, didn’t do that either. Hopefully next year

Continue to shower every day - I think I only skipped like 5 days in total so I’d call that a success too.

Start working out/exercising regularly - ...fail

Get new glasses - Success!

Expectations for 2019 Oh, I haven’t really thought about this. I kinda just expect a year of going to university and living an average but calm year. I know I’ll have 3 weeks off in january, in which I plan on reading a lot of books and just chill.  I’ll also go and see Day6 live in january (I’m so excited holy shit), and then in febuary my mom will move, so I’ll get a new house. Then I’ll probably pass my first year at university and start my second year. And that’s about it. Oh, and I’ll probably go on holiday to Sweden in the summer, but there isn’t much else I expect. I just expect a chill and happy year to be honest. It would also be great if I got a boyfriend/girlfriend but that’s more a wish than an expectation lol

2019 Resolutions?

Dye my hair (let’s give that another go shall we)\

Get a good haircut

Get a tattoo

Move out of my parent’s house (that’s a bold one)

Accomplish my reading challenge on Goodreads (I really want to accomplish that 35 books goal, it’s starting to haunt me)

Get tickets for A.C.E.’s concert

Get swol 

Communicate more with the people around me

Don’t let other people’s opinions shape my actions

Pass my first year at uni

Go swimming (I haven’t done that in 3 years)

Grow a beard (plz universe)

Learn how to make flipbooks (it looks really cool)

Learn how to knit (I really wanna make my own sweaters)

Read books on storytelling and learn more about how to tell a story

Develop my story more

Write at least 100 pages

Spend more time with my friends, both new friends and old friends

I think that’s it for this evening. I hope this was somewhat enjoyable to read, and I wish all of you an amazing and happy 2019!

[baekhvuns]

BREAKING THE WALL once again... I'm AWAKE now (actually barely, but thanxx for yelling lol) aaaand our bird on the thumbnail! If they drop the medley tomorrow at 6 too 🤡 I won't be awake for once, but Friday??? I'll be there 🤗

Alright sooooo this is the ranking *nervous laughter* I'm ready to be cancelled. It was difficult, but I tried to be decisive </333 no hard feelings, most are almost on the same level. But seriously, bear in mind I appreciate all your stories, some just hit more than others, it all depends on various things, but my main point is "which ones did/will I re-read" let me know if you want me to elaborate further and explain myself lol

1. Bodyguard

2. TTWHY

3. Rewrite the Stars

4. LNFILA

5. Duke/Khronos

6. Mr & Mrs Park

7. Just Friends

What do you think, are you shocked 👀 what's your list? I need to think more about Seonghwa's, but I can feel that one will be much different which is hilarious

Absolutely INVU! The album is great, though I don't listen to slower songs that often, but I can play the whole album and be happy <3 I'm usually not the one to bitch about "X is the worst year in kpop" especially since lots of comebacks are coming, but something about this year hits less. We got some gems obviously, but a lot of groups disappoint. I loved the whole Oddinary which is shocking, hopefully same things happens with Movement

London's black taxis are iconic, but that's about it siudusjsjskdhdhshs, yeah expensive af. Other European taxis are just random cars, not so pretty

I know right? Cocomelon...? I'm afraid to ask. And the way they remake some of the shows in 3D like Winnie the Pooh I fucking cried when I randomly saw it once 😭😭😭😭 not my honey bear and his friends. Do you have fave childhood cartoons?

Our coconut head (my dreams of long haired Hwa just keep dying.... sigh) was so precious during that live which I kinda missed despite being at home I was just watching something else, butttt me and my friends bought the succulents set and the bouquet 2 weeks ago! So happy he got the succs too awww, but the fucking Starry Night I NEED. It costs as much as some of Hwa's limited pcs 🥴🥴🥴🥴 but really I thought "hope Lego gifted Hwa the Starry Night" 💗 *cries and dies*

I can't take care of plants and flowers, but if someone gifted me Lego flowers 😌 look at our flower

I chose San, cause he's in my bias line, but you can have whoever, I just think Woodies (is that the name? I keep confusing them) are very deprived 😅

Shittt I remember that AU now 👀 the worst nightmare, some little asshole from school getting rich meh. Unless it's Hwa ofc

I laughed at the random Woo in the sea of Hybe men lmao I got "in another life" aka soulmates, not my fave trope, but it can be well-done. Btw have you watched Makoto Shinkai's movies? Your Name, but Seonghwa AU <3 a new one is coming out this year, can't wait to tear up again. Weathering with You made me cry especially hard - DV 💖

hi hello!!

BREAKING THE WALL once again... I'm AWAKE now (actually barely, but thanxx for yelling lol) aaaand our bird on the thumbnail! If they drop the medley tomorrow at 6 too 🤡 I won't be awake for once, but Friday??? I'll be there 🤗

BFKWJDKE THE SEONGHWA AND BESTIE TODAYS THE FUCKINF SONG HIGHLIGHTS ITS TIME TO CLAIM SONGS 😭😭😭 also to preorder the album 🫠 IM BETSIEHFHWKDHWK CYBERPUNK AND SECTOR 1 AND NEW WORLDv,??????? ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE KPOP MADE AN ALBUM THIS GOOD

Alright sooooo this is the ranking *nervous laughter* I'm ready to be cancelled. It was difficult, but I tried to be decisive </333 no hard feelings, most are almost on the same level. But seriously, bear in mind I appreciate all your stories, some just hit more than others, it all depends on various things, but my main point is "which ones did/will I re-read" let me know if you want me to elaborate further and explain myself lol

LMFAOOOO BDBDHD NO UR NOT GONNA BE CANCELED DUDHD NO THATS PERFECTLY FINE! I LOVE SEEING THE RANKINGS BC SOME SURPRISE ME BY “u lIKE THAT??”

1. Bodyguard

2. TTWHY

3. Rewrite the Stars

4. LNFILA

5. Duke/Khronos

6. Mr & Mrs Park

7. Just Friends

What do you think, are you shocked 👀 what's your list? I need to think more about Seonghwa's, but I can feel that one will be much different which is hilarious


IM SO SURPRISED REWRITE THE STARS IS UP SO HIGH???? it’s like the early days of writing so i know it’s crappy in that terms so iM vv surprised that it’s even on the list fbfbfb LMFAOOOO I FEEL LIKE BB!HWA MIGHT BE NO1 ON UR LIST OTHERWISE I AGREE WITH UR LIST

for me it’s like :

1. mr and mrs park

2. ttwhy

3. let’s not fall in love, again

4. bodyguard

5. just friends

6. khronus

7. rewrite the stars

8. duke

do not ask why duke is there quite self explanatory 🔫

Absolutely INVU! The album is great, though I don't listen to slower songs that often, but I can play the whole album and be happy <3 I'm usually not the one to bitch about "X is the worst year in kpop" especially since lots of comebacks are coming, but something about this year hits less. We got some gems obviously, but a lot of groups disappoint. I loved the whole Oddinary which is shocking, hopefully same things happens with Movement

RIGHT !!!!! sometimes using invu as background noise >>>> d.o’s rose album is truly so comforting! i play it during i work or study or commute and my mood just 🤩🤩 nO i agree as well,, something about the ay ever since late last year to this year the cb’s have been repetitive or extremely experimental to the point it’s not even music anymore 😭😭😭 some groups were absolutely great! POOT MAH SNEAKERS ON FBWMDHEKHDEK GREAT ✊🏼 AMAZING ✊🏼 tbh i,,, for summer i kinda be expecting a full album of just summer genre,, kinda like exo’s kokobop album? it’s been years and i still play it every summer (today as well) and idk if it’s a lot to ask but groups these days don’t make cb’s that are memorable for a long time, it’s like releasing a song is a trend now and everyone’s doing it instead of making some really good music they also like to perform <3

London's black taxis are iconic, but that's about it siudusjsjskdhdhshs, yeah expensive af. Other European taxis are just random cars, not so pretty

LMFAOOOO i will channel my james bond whenever i get out of those black taxis 🔫 there’s some ugly taxi cars here too 😭😭😭

I know right? Cocomelon...? I'm afraid to ask. And the way they remake some of the shows in 3D like Winnie the Pooh I fucking cried when I randomly saw it once 😭😭😭😭 not my honey bear and his friends. Do you have fave childhood cartoons?

LMFAOOOO HDKWHDKW COCOMELON IS SO DUMB 😭😭😭🤚🏼 ???????????????? 3D WINNE THE POOH????? WHAT THE FUCK???? omg my favourites are shinchan, dragon tales, max and ruby, MADELINE, oswald!, clifford, pingu, hey look since im younger than u SOME ARE IN THE LATER YEARS OK anyways angelina ballerina <3

Our coconut head (my dreams of long haired Hwa just keep dying.... sigh) was so precious during that live which I kinda missed despite being at home I was just watching something else, butttt me and my friends bought the succulents set and the bouquet 2 weeks ago! So happy he got the succs too awww, but the fucking Starry Night I NEED. It costs as much as some of Hwa's limited pcs 🥴🥴🥴🥴 but really I thought "hope Lego gifted Hwa the Starry Night" 💗 *cries and dies*

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭 no fr he was so cute and his cheeks 😭😭🤚🏼🤚🏼 and his wide eyes 😭😭😭 AAAAAAA DID U GUYS COMPLETE THE SUCCULENTS?? IF LEGO DOESNT MAKE HIM THEIR AMBASSADOR WE DONT WANT IT that starry night looks sO DIFFICULT FBFBF ??????? WHAAAT????? AS MUCH AS PC’S????? omg stopppp 😭😭 buying albums atp is an investment fbfb

I can't take care of plants and flowers, but if someone gifted me Lego flowers 😌 look at our flower /// I chose San, cause he's in my bias line, but you can have whoever, I just think Woodies (is that the name? I keep confusing them) are very deprived 😅

THAT IS SO VERY TRUE ID DISPLAY AND SHOW THEM OFF EVERYWHERE,,, LMFAOOOO WOODIES ARE DEPRIVED?? 😭😭 their smut corner is 🔫🔫

Shittt I remember that AU now 👀 the worst nightmare, some little asshole from school getting rich meh. Unless it's Hwa ofc

JFBWKFJW UHUH EXACTLY THAT BUT ITS A LITTLE ✨✨✨🤌🏼 maybe i’ll write it fully one day 😭😭😭 kai will also make his appearance dhdh

I laughed at the random Woo in the sea of Hybe men lmao I got "in another life" aka soulmates, not my fave trope, but it can be well-done. Btw have you watched Makoto Shinkai's movies? Your Name, but Seonghwa AU <3 a new one is coming out this year, can't wait to tear up again. Weathering with You made me cry especially hard - DV 💖

THE SEA OF HYBE DBDBBVS omg soulmates au??? reminds me of atozfic’s hwa fic! omg but soulmates arENT THAT BAD,,, no maybe they are a little bit, a LITTLE,, YES I HAVE WATCHED YOUR NAME AND I SAW THAT TRAILER IM SO VERY EXCITED !!!! I ALSO RLY LIKE FLAVOURS OF YOUTH!! might go watch it in theatres tbh the visuals would be iNSANE omg i haven’t watched weathering with u,,, hOW IS IT?? i got this btw!

[theartofbeinganerd]

Hi you should make a lil ficlet for tony starks birthday tomorrow (May 29) if u have time hahaha you’ll never kno who I am

everything I thought I lost before (make me whole once more)

HAYLEY. Omg I know that’s you, and omg you are lucky that I’m such a giving person and that I managed to find the inspiration for this. You better enjoy this for how much I slaved over it (lmao really it only took like an hour, but still). Honestly. ;D ♥

Titled is based on the song Pieces by Red

*Set post IW, with A4 speculation

(Ao3)

-

Ever since his first birthday after hisparents had died, which he had spent alone for the very first time in his life,Tony had begun having bigger and bigger birthday parties to celebrate the occasion.He’d never wanted to feel that way again, had never wanted to spend anotherlonely birthday in a big empty house with only the memories of past celebrationswith his family to fill the void. And so, the very next year, he’d started thetradition of filling his big empty house with people to get drunk and forgetabout everything with, even if he’d more often than not had no idea who half ofthem even were.

But, if Tony had thought that thatbirthday he spent by himself was lonely, he was now coming to realize that itcouldn’t even compare to the feeling of being isolated on an alien planet,having just watched half a dozen people simply turn to dust right before his eyes (he still had the kid’s dust, his ash, on his palms, still had the words “I don’t want to go” ringing in hisears). It was worse – much worse.

However, this time he didn’t find himselfwanting to solve it like he had as a kid, he didn’t want to surround himselfwith people, or to drink himself into a stupor so that he could forget aboutall of it for just a little while.

No, Tony just wanted…he wanted Pepper,and Happy, and Rhodey, and…and Peter, that was it.

And it was then that he realized; he didn’teven know if…what if they’d all turned to dust too? What if he actually was all alone again?

The simple thought was too much for himto bear, and so Tony forced himself to push it aside immediately, or else itmight pull him down into the depths of a despair that he hadn’t felt in a longtime, and this time, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to pull himself out ofit. Not alone.

Instead, he focused on putting all of hisenergy into getting himself and the android girl (Nebula, he thought her namewas) back to Earth, and back to whoever was left there. If he was beingproductive, if he was doing somethingwith his hands, with his mind, he wouldn’t break. He could hold together aslong as he had something to hold together for.

And, just as soon as this mess had beenhandled, and just as soon as Thanos’s giant purple ass had been kicked and theuniverse had been avenged…the first thing that Tony was going to do was officiallycancel his birthday, due to happen in just a week’s time now. After all, nomatter who he found still alive back on Earth, with who he knew was truly gone and with what they’d lost…itcould simply never be enough.

-

As he stepped out onto one of thebalconies off the Avengers compound, Tony could still hear the slightly dullednoise of the party inside, of those celebrating the ultimate defeat of Thanosand the return of their lost friends and allies (though, it was still slightlylow-key as far as parties went, some of them still in mourning for those whosedeaths hadn’t been reversed with their victory). He assumed that he would bemissed by the others eventually, but he just had to take a moment by himselfbefore he went back in there and had to put his playboy party animal image backon, before he had to make it seem as though he was just as unfazed by all ofthis as he was everything else.

He hadn’t been out there very long at all,however, when he heard, “I had a feeling that I’d find you out here.”

Though he didn’t turn to face her, asmall smile ticked Tony’s lips up at the corners, and he replied with his usualdry wit, “Yeah, had to take a break from the Guardians before my eyes startedwatering – what, are there no showers in space?”

A hand slid along his bicep then, and heimmediately relaxed into her touch, briefly closing his eyes and letting out asmall, content sigh. “Tony,” shemurmured, knowingly, but with a note of concern in her tone.

“I’m just still…processing,” he assuredher, brushing her worries off gently. “Don’t worry about it.”

Pepper gave a short scoff at that. “Askingme not to worry about you is like asking the Hulk not to be angry, or askingThor not to be so good-looking.”

At first, Tony just nodded absently alongwith her words, but then he arched his eyebrows and finally turned to look ather, catching sight of her smirk even in the dim light spilling out from theparty inside. “Wait, what?”

Ignoring him, as she was wont to do fromtime to time, though, Pepper went on, “I know that you’re going to need sometime, and I’ll give you all of the space you need, Tony, but, I’m here.”

Even though Tony didn’t need thereminder, he was grateful for it – of course, Pepper had always been there(except when she wasn’t, but he tried his best not to think of that time), andshe understood him so easily, so effortlessly, in a way that few other peoplein his life did. He reached up to fit his hand over hers, giving it a smallsqueeze to show her his gratitude.

Aloud, however, he pressed, “So, what isthis about Thor being ‘good-looking’?I mean, hello, gorgeous fiancé standingright here.”

In response, she shot him that sly smirkagain, then caught his hand within hers, twisting his wrist gently so that shecould see his watch. After a beat, she leaned in and pressed a lingering kissto his cheek, murmuring, “Happy Birthday, Tony.” Surprised, he threw a glanceof his own down at his watch, and she added, “It’s past midnight now.”

“Hey, I forgot your birthday was comingup!”

At the sound of the new voice, they bothturned simultaneously, finding Peter just slipping through the door and outonto the balcony with them.

With an apologetic little grimace, Peterrushed to explain, “With everything going on, it just completely slipped mymind. So, uh…can I give you a raincheck on your present?” Then, his frowndeepened, and he asked, “Um…is there anything you need, by the way? Maybewithin the twenty dollar range? Or maybe ten – May cut my allowance aspunishment for sneaking off on a spaceship without telling her. I mean, you’rea billionaire, so you probably have everything you need, but…” He paused,briefly, then snapped his fingers and muttered to himself, “Never enough coffeemugs.”

For amoment, both Tony and Pepper were quiet, but then Tony asked bluntly, “It’smidnight – isn’t it past your bedtime, kid? It’s a school night.”

Peter gapedat him, waving a hand back toward the party as he insisted, “But it’s an Avengersparty, and I’m an Avenger now!”

Pepper tooka half-step forward then, resting a hand on Peter’s shoulder as she said warmlybut firmly, leaving no room for argument, “I’ll let Happy know to be ready todrive you home in ten minutes.”

Peter’slips turned down and his shoulders sagged slightly, but he still agreed lowly, “Yeah,okay, thanks Pepper.” Then, in a moment, he perked back up slightly andstarted, “Oh, Mr. Stark –”

Cutting himoff abruptly, Tony told him flatly, “Do notask me how old I am.”

Holding uphis hands and widening his eyes, Peter quickly shook his head. “No, I wasn’tgoing to! I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!”

“Oh.” Tonyarched his eyebrows, then added, “Well, thanks, kid.”

“Hey, areyou gonna have one of your big, famous parties this year? Can I come?” Peterasked hopefully, his eyes lighting up at the prospect.

Before Tonycould answer, though, Pepper pointed out, “Peter, I really don’t think that Maywould approve of that.”

“But I’d beon my best behavior! And I’d makesure to be home before midnight!”

“No, I don’tthink so,” Tony interrupted the conversation, his tone speculative. Peterturned to him with his eyebrows raised in clear surprise, and Pepper evenlooked a bit taken aback. However, Tony glanced first through the glass doorsof the balcony at all of his friends mingling and laughing and drinkingtogether inside the compound, and then to Pepper and Peter there beside him,then told them, “We’ve already got a party going right here – all it needs is acake and an ice sculpture of me and we’re all set.”

Pepperrolled her eyes fondly at his words, even as she found his hand with hers oncemore and twined their fingers together. As her thumb began to lightly strokethe back of his hand, he knew that she understand without him ever having tosay a word that he couldn’t possibly ask for a better party than this one.

After all,why would he want to wait to celebrate his birthday with a couple hundredstrangers when he could celebrate with everyone that he cared about right now?

“What?”Peter cried, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. “Now this is your birthdayparty too? If I ask May, can I stay alittle longer? Just another hour?”

“I’ll talkto her,” Pepper offered warmly, “and I’ll see if I can swing twelve-thirty atleast.”

As Peterbegan to thank her profusely, Tony just stood back for a moment and listened tothem talking, heard Pepper’s soft laugh catching on the light spring breeze asshe squeezed his hand gently, and caught the flash of Peter’s excited grin ashe clasped his hands together eagerly. Even though he was still trying his bestto get over the crushing feeling of watching people turn to dust right beforehim and being able to do nothing to help them, of thinking that half theuniverse was gone forever and he was all alone again, even though most nightshe still woke up in a sweat, unable to breathe properly, staring at his handsand still seeing them coated in ash…

Well, he still couldn’thave asked for a better birthday than this one.