#reading like two books of varying size a month! and almost all of them except one have been amazing!

[bjorkremix]

Bought 2 new books today and I’m so excited to start reading them weeee!!!!

[bevioletskies]

spare me a little (of your love)

summary: Klavier always liked to express his love with flowers, so sending a beautiful bouquet to his boyfriend every now and then seemed like the obvious thing to do. However, there’s just one little problem - Apollo is very, very allergic to pollen.

word count: 5.3k | read on ao3

a/n: For @klapollo-week, day two of seven (prompt: "flowers"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.

This fic takes place at some distant point in time after Spirit of Justice where Apollo and Trucy have learned that they’re siblings, but doesn’t reference any specific plotlines otherwise. My source for flower meanings can be found here. Fic title is from the song Spare Me a Little of Your Love by Fleetwood Mac.

“The language of...flowers?”

“Oui, oui, mon ami!” Athena chirped, nodding eagerly. “That’s just one of the many languages I speak, y’know.”

Apollo eyed her skeptically over the top of his laptop screen. “...right. Elaborate, please.”

“Well, you know how people usually give roses to express their love?” Athena said, leaning across the gap between their desks. She didn’t even blink when she accidentally knocked over Apollo’s calendar and pen holder in one fell swoop. Apollo, on the other hand, shot her an affronted glance that she deftly ignored. “Well, each flower actually has its own specific meaning. It even varies from color to color! Par exemple, white roses symbolize innocence, while yellow roses symbolize friendship.”

“That seems unnecessarily complicated,” Apollo remarked. “Don’t most flowers come with a card? Why can’t people just write their messages instead?”

They turned at the sound of a disappointed groan coming from the middle of the room. “You’re so unromantic, Polly,” Trucy complained, peeking at them from over the back of the couch. “I almost feel bad for Mr. Gavin!”

“Hey,” Apollo protested. “I can be - I-I’m romantic!”

“If you say so,” Athena giggled, poking him in the shoulder. Huffing, Apollo prodded her back. Athena reached for a rubber band, fully intending to escalate things. She lowered her projectile dejectedly when Apollo raised his hands in surrender; he had no interest in losing an eye today.

“Sunflowers and tulips are supposed to symbolize happiness, right?” Phoenix asked. “Those are pretty much the only flowers I really know, so.”

There was a long, uncomfortably drawn-out silence. “...Daddy, your ex-girlfriend’s name was Dahlia. Her real name was - is - Iris.”

“Oh...right,” Phoenix chuckled, only mildly embarrassed. “Speaking of, do you know what dahlias and irises mean, Athena?”

Athena’s eyes were practically sparkling now. “Oui! Dahlias symbolize elegance and dignity.” Phoenix made a face. “...but, they also symbolize dishonesty and betrayal.”

“That’s more like it,” Phoenix muttered under his breath. “And irises?”

“Faith, wisdom, that kinda thing,” Athena shrugged. She then paused. “Y’know, if you want some ideas on the kinds of flowers Mr. Edgeworth would like, I can make some - ”

“Nope, nope, I-I’m good,” Phoenix interrupted swiftly, his face reddening. He had a vase of daffodils sitting on his desk, which Edgeworth had sent to the office a few days ago. None of them believed Phoenix when he claimed they were purely intended for decoration. “So why the sudden interest in flowers, Apollo? Is this, er...is this about Gavin?”

“If you’re not talking about your prosecutor, sir, I’m not talking about mine,” Apollo said firmly, turning back to his laptop.

“Sure, except I think your prosecutor’s fair game when he picks you up from work most days,” Phoenix teased. His tone was eerily similar to Trucy’s. If Phoenix wasn’t both his boss and his sort-of stepfather, Apollo would’ve picked up a rubber band himself.

A few hours later, Apollo was locking up the office for the evening when he heard the roar of a familiar-sounding motorcycle coming up the street. He turned, biting back a smile as Klavier pulled up beside the sidewalk and turned off his engine. “Your bike really is as obnoxious as you are.”

Klavier removed his helmet, pouting. “Achtung, is that any way to greet your boyfriend?”

“It is for me,” Apollo replied, kissing him briefly. “Hi.”

“Hallo,” Klavier murmured against Apollo’s lips, grinning as he pulled away. “Dinner?”

“Yes, please,” Apollo said, reaching for Klavier’s spare helmet. “I’m feeling...pizza and all the cheesy garlic breadsticks. Or maybe we can just get cheesy garlic breadsticks.”

“As nice as that sounds, you need more vegetables than the little bits you get in your cup noodles, baby,” Klavier said, patting Apollo’s hip affectionately. “Pizza, breadsticks, and a side salad, ja?”

“Fine, fine,” Apollo grumbled, settling in behind Klavier. “Turn me into a rabbit, why don’t you? Buy me a bag of carrot sticks the next time we go to the grocery store. Stuff my mattress with straw and newspaper - ”

“And people think I’m the dramatic one,” Klavier lamented, shaking his head in amusement.

It wasn’t long before the two of them were sitting on the floor of Klavier’s living room, pleasantly stuffed with pizza and breadsticks and a mediocre amount of Greek salad (“I’m not a fan of olives, you know.” “Not surprising, since the color doesn’t work with your complexion.” “Klavier, I swear to - ”). A random made-for-TV movie was playing in the background on mute, though neither of them were particularly interested in watching it.

“How was work?” Apollo asked, taking a much-needed gulp of cold water. He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to get the taste of garlic out of his mouth.

“Boring, unfortunately,” Klavier said with a grimace. “Herr Edgeworth didn’t have anything but paperwork to offer me. No trials, no investigations, nichts. You?”

“Same,” Apollo replied. “Mr. Wright’s mostly working with Athena this month, so they’re taking the big clients while I get stuck with the smaller cases. Not that I’m complaining, I mean - it’s a nice change from Khura’in. I don’t want every trial to feel like I’m going under, you know?”

“Nein, that would be terrible,” Klavier agreed. “Exciting, sure, but the stress wouldn’t be worth it. I already found a gray hair the other day, ach.”

Apollo snorted. “Just one? You should see mine - I’m gonna be completely gray by thirty-five at this rate.” He shuffled closer so he could snuggle up against Klavier’s side, letting his head drop to Klavier’s shoulder. “So...turns out, Athena knows all about the flower language thing. Figured she might.”

“Flower...language...thing?” Klavier echoed, confused. He then brightened. “Ah! From our video call with my mama the other day, ja? I didn’t know you were actually interested.”

“I wasn’t, not at first,” Apollo admitted, squeezing Klavier’s arm. “But...I want your parents to like me, and since she said she was taking an interest, I thought, y’know, why not look into it? And it sounds kinda...contrived, not gonna lie. But I guess it’s kinda sweet, too. Like a secret language between just two people.”

Klavier’s face softened. “Ja, exactly. My parents used to write love letters to each other when they were in school, so I think this is Mama’s way of starting a new tradition - buying Papa flowers so he can plant them in his garden. You should see our family estate in the summer, it’s absolutely stunning.”

“Sounds like it,” Apollo said, smiling. “Your parents’ lives sound so...peaceful. Baking, gardening, travelling...I know it’s a little early to start thinking about retirement, but still, they’re living the dream.”

“They’re not retired yet,” Klavier chuckled. “And stop making me feel like I’m dating an old man, bitte. You complaining about your back makes me feel like I have to start complaining about my back.”

Apollo hummed, tracing random patterns along Klavier’s forearm with his finger. He was pleasantly sleepy from a number of things - his long, if uneventful day of work, the amount of cheese and carbs he’d just consumed, and the warmth of Klavier’s skin against his. “Sorry we can’t all afford chiropractors and massage therapists, sheesh,” he teased, unable to hold back a yawn.

“Maybe we can get a massage together someday,” Klavier suggested, stretching luxuriously. “Ah, before I forget - since we were talking about my parents just now, they asked me the other day if it would be alright to text you and send you things, little gifts and whatnot.”

“Huh? They would do that?” Apollo exclaimed. “I only just met them, like, a week ago!”

“They’re a bit...much,” Klavier said carefully. “Even when I was in high school, every friend I brought home was a potential lover to them, you know? They wanted to know everything about them, to shower them with gifts and affection. Even when I started working, I would ask Papa if I could have some flowers from his garden - you know, an arrangement to thank Herr Edgeworth for giving me a raise, a bouquet for my manager when we got our first record deal - and it was always the same story. Achtung, it’s embarrassing, but they mean well. You don’t have to say ja if you don’t want to, I just thought I’d ask.”

“No, I - it’s okay, I’d love to get to know your parents more, I’m just surprised,” Apollo admitted. The thought of them liking him this easily made him both relieved and unnerved at the same time. “Should I, uh, get them something in return?”

“Nein, nein, let them spoil you.” Klavier cupped Apollo’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “Just like I do.”

“Sap,” Apollo murmured, kissing him back.

_____

It was a sort of gradual thing, for the most part. Barely a day had gone by when Apollo found himself in a group text with Klavier’s parents; he quickly discovered how witty and sweet and whip-smart they both were. Klavier’s father sent gorgeous photos of his garden - and calling it a garden seemed almost too modest when it seemed to be the size of a soccer field - while Klavier’s mother sent book recommendations, even the occasional movie recommendation.

“I never thought I’d be at that point in my life where my boyfriend’s mother sends me three long paragraphs about how she ‘discovered’ the Legally Blonde musical, but here we are,” Apollo had mused to the other agency members.

“Did you tell her that Klavier reminds everyone of that song, the one that goes - ”

“No, Athena, I did not. I want her to like me, remember?”

Soon after that, gifts started to arrive. Apollo had requested they send them to the agency, given how little he trusted his apartment building’s security after they nearly let his cat escape not too long ago. Unfortunately, it was too late before he realized that sometimes, he trusted his co-workers - or more specifically, his sister - even less.

“Trucy, do you know who ate the last piece of pie? Y’know, the one I was saving for today, to celebrate the end of my trial?”

“...huh. No idea, sorry, Polly!”

“Wait - th-there’s graham crumbs on Mr. Hat, what the hell - ”

His sister’s betrayal aside, Apollo felt good about things, almost unusually good. He soon started texting Klavier’s parents just as frequently as he did his own mother, thanking them for their generosity whenever they sent the occasional box of pastries or discounted event tickets. They also exchanged anecdotes about Klavier, along with stories about their own lives. He even received celebratory emojis whenever he told them about his victories in court - over their son, no less.

“I’m starting to think they like you more than they like me,” Klavier had lamented, though he seemed pleased all the same.

Then, a month into their budding familial relationship, a problem arrived on Apollo’s desk in the form of a bouquet the size of his head.

“Ah-choo!”

Trucy and Athena, who had been standing by the latter’s desk, both startled at the sound. “Ay Dios mío!” Athena exclaimed, clutching her heart in shock. “Are you okay, Apollo? That was some sneeze. I thought we were having another earthquake!”

“Har, har,” Apollo said dryly, reaching for a tissue. “It’s just the - achoo - flowers, that’s all.”

“They’re beautiful - very classic,” Athena added, dropping into Apollo’s desk chair so she could get a closer look. “Red roses and white lilies, claro. Ooh, I see some red carnations and white chrysanthemums, too!”

“Well, I see a card,” Trucy said, plucking a small white notecard from between the leaves. “Let’s see what it says!”

“That’s for - achoo - me, thank you very much.” Apollo snatched the card out of her hands, then squinted through his watery eyes to read it. “I...oh. Klavier says his mom helped him make the arrangement, with flowers from his dad’s garden.”

“How sweet!” Trucy gushed, taking a moment to sniff them, inhaling deeply as her eyes drifted closed. “Ooh, and they smell amazing. Mr. Gavin is such a good - ”

“Ah-choo!” Apollo sniffled, wiping his nose carefully. “...dammit.”

“I didn’t know you were allergic to pollen, Apollo,” Phoenix commented; he was on the other side of the room, pouring himself a cup of tea. “You never had any problems with the flowers Edgeworth sent to m - I mean, to the office.”

“Maybe it’s a freshly-cut thing?” Athena guessed, ignoring Phoenix’s awkward laugh. “Or, y’know, some flowers are worse for allergies than others. Dahlias, for example, are the worst.” Phoenix made another face before turning back to what he was doing.

“You should tell him you’re allergic,” Trucy said, patting Apollo’s free hand in sympathy. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

“But…” Apollo hesitated. The others braced themselves, anticipating another sneeze. “...this is from Klavier and his parents, you know? I can put up with a sneeze or two if it makes them happy. He loves sending flowers, and his dad’s really into gardening, so...if I tell them, they’ll stop doing it, and they’ll be too understanding, and I - I can’t deal with that. The, uh, the niceness, I mean.”

“Poor you, having the sweetest in-laws in the world,” Athena teased, pouting exaggeratedly. Oh, the humanity, Widget added. Apollo would have glared at them both, had he not started sneezing again. “Como tú quieras, I guess.”

Hours later, when Klavier met Apollo at the agency, the sight of his face brightening when he saw the bouquet confirmed Apollo’s fears. “Ah, how wunderschön,” Klavier declared, beaming. “I was worried they wouldn’t hold up during delivery. Do you like them, liebe?”

“They’re beautiful,” Apollo said, as honest as he could be. “Thanks, Klavier. I, uh, I hope it didn’t take you too long to put together.”

“You know how picky I can be,” Klavier hummed, carefully drawing a carnation out of the vase between two practiced fingers and bringing it up to his nose to smell. “I don’t settle for anything less than perfekt.” He turned, smirking. “That’s why I’m dating you, after all.”

“Gross,” Apollo said, wrinkling his nose; the effect was ruined by his affectionate laughter. “Hey, is it okay if I press them after they’ve wilted? I was thinking I could keep ‘em in my journal as a nice little reminder.”

Klavier chuckled, reaching over to squeeze Apollo’s hand. “Of course, Forehead. They’re all yours, you don’t have to ask for my permission. And I’m sure Mama and Papa would be delighted to hear you’re planning to give Papa’s flowers a second life. We’ll have to send you more in the future, ja?”

“...ja,” Apollo said weakly, his heart sinking.

_____

The next bouquet arrived two weeks later, bigger and bolder than before. According to Athena, it consisted of pink and orange roses, pink lilies, and yellow alstroemeria. However, it seemed to be the handful of sunflowers that topped everything off that left Apollo’s nose running all day.

“I think the only sunflower I can stand to be around is my attorney’s badge,” Apollo had bemoaned.

After that came an arrangement of white daisies, red gerbera, and white limonium (or, as Trucy liked to call it - she liked practicing tongue twisters when she was bored - “linoleum”). Then green hydrangeas and Queen Anne’s lace, which admittedly wasn't so bad, followed by purple daisies and pink gerbera, which was very, very bad. Apollo did not like the fact that he was getting used to the taste of Benadryl. He did manage to get some reprieve when Klavier sent him a simple vase of pink peonies.

“They’re hypoallergenic,” Athena had informed him. “But...mein Gott, Apollo, just tell him already!”

“But if I do, i-it’s…” Apollo had gestured wildly, unable to find the right words. Athena and Trucy had exchanged glances, then shook their heads in eerily synchronized disappointment.

Pink carnations and pink alstroemeria, purple irises and white aster, yellow daisies and orange roses; Apollo was starting to think the Gavin family garden was endless. And while his journal had never looked prettier, every page decorated with carefully pressed petals, every other page detailed with a date and a description courtesy of Athena’s expertise, his nose had never looked worse, his skin pink and dry and irritated. He was getting too used to the smell of CeraVe as well.

Finally, a bouquet of red roses - thankfully, also hypoallergenic - arrived with Klavier himself. He seemed delighted to be at the agency while everyone else was present for once, chatting happily with Athena and marvelling at Trucy’s card tricks. He and Phoenix seemed awkward around each other, though Apollo supposed that was to be expected. Even now, they hesitated whenever Apollo brought the other one up.

“So what’re you doing here, Mr. Gavin?” Trucy asked after she’d successfully duped him three times in a row. Apollo had to stop her before she started charging him for it. “Is it date night?”

“Not exactly,” Klavier said, turning to Apollo. “I came here to ask you something in person, liebe.”

Apollo raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s not suspicious at all. What’s up?”

“I think it’s about time you meet my parents in person.” Klavier took both of Apollo’s hands in his, smiling hopefully. “So, if you’re ready...are you free this weekend? We could go to my family estate, spend the day - Mama would love to teach you how to make those puff pastries you like, and Papa wants to show you around the garden so you can see where all your wunderschön flowers came from.”

“I...oh.” Apollo’s face fell for a split second before he quickly regained his composure. “Sorry, Klav, that sounds incredible, but I-I was gonna stay with Mom this weekend. Maybe another time?”

“Natürlich,” Klavier replied, still smiling. While his smiles usually made Apollo feel warm and fuzzy, now all he was feeling was gnawing guilt. “Let me know when you have a free weekend, ja?”

“For sure,” Apollo promised, pecking him briefly on the cheek. “And thanks for the roses, even though I, uh, kinda ruined the occasion.”

“Ruined?” Klavier repeated, chuckling. “Ach, it’s no big deal, you’re busy. We have time, don’t we?”

“Of course!” Apollo exclaimed, far too loudly. Klavier didn’t seem to mind, though; he leaned down to kiss Apollo properly, humming all the while.

“Anyway, I should get going before Herr Edgeworth notices I’m not in my office,” Klavier said, reluctantly pulling away. The look on Phoenix's face suggested he knew that Edgeworth had figured it out long ago. “Auf Wiedersehen, süßer!”

The second Klavier left, Apollo let out the breath he’d been holding. He didn’t even need to look up to know the others were staring at him very judgmentally. “...I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You really shouldn’t lie to your boyfriend, Apollo,” Phoenix said gently; his voice had taken on the sort of “dad” tone that made Apollo feel even guiltier. “Er, that is, you shouldn’t lie to anyone, but you know what I mean. Are you really protecting his feelings by doing this?”

Sighing, Apollo collapsed into his desk chair, dropping his forehead to his desk with an audible thunk. “I know, I know. It was stupid from the start, but...I-I honestly wasn’t expecting him to send this many! I thought it’d be, y’know, for special occasions only, like every few months or whatever. Then I could deal with it, and he would never have to know. Not, like, just ‘cos he felt like it. Though I guess I really should’ve seen it coming, knowing him.”

“You really gotta tell him,” Trucy insisted. “Next time you see him, okay? Or else you’re never gonna say anything!”

“I will, I swear,” Apollo insisted, combing his fingers through his hair. He could feel more grays coming in by the second. “I have no interest in being the worst boyfriend ever, believe me.”

_____

It didn’t take long for Apollo to realize that while he was perfectly fine - or, at least, reasonably fine - with confrontation in the courtroom, he was very much not fine with confrontation in his personal life. The flower arrangements came less frequently now, and when they did, they seemed to be exclusively hypoallergenic. Klavier’s invitations, on the other hand, seemed more persistent.

“I don’t mean to push,” Klavier would say. “It’s just that exam week is coming up and, being professors and all, they’re going to be very busy soon. I was hoping we’d be able to spend some time with them before then.”

“Yeah, o-of course,” Apollo would reply, his stomach twisting every time, knowing full well he was about to turn him down again.

Another weekend went by, then another. There always seemed to be something, whether it was Apollo’s sudden frequent visits to Thalassa’s, Trucy’s sudden need for a magic show assistant, or that Apollo was just too tired to be good company. Eventually, Klavier seemed to simply stop asking. In fact, he seemed to stop asking him about anything at all.

“Do you wanna grab lunch?” Apollo had once asked Klavier while they were both packing up after the end of a lengthy trial.

“I don’t know.” Klavier had sounded tired, subdued; he refused to look Apollo in the eyes. “I think I’m just going to head back to the office and catch up on my emails. Take care, Herr Forehead.” He’d quickly swept out of the courtroom before Apollo could even say goodbye.

Apollo’s group text with his parents seemed to slow down, too, especially when it came to Klavier’s papa’s photos of his garden. Klavier’s mama, on the other hand, sent him short, stilted messages, now seemingly out of obligation instead of affection. Their near-radio silence, Apollo had to admit, was well-deserved. He knew he had to do something before it was too late, if it wasn’t already too late.

“I was surprised you wanted me to join you today,” Klavier said one morning as the two of them were taking a leisurely stroll around People Park, hand-in-hand. “Lately, I feel like I’ve been dating a ghost, achtung. We only ever see each other in court. Maybe at crime scenes, too, if we’re lucky.”

“And I’m surprised you agreed to come,” Apollo admitted. “I missed you, Klavier. Only...I, uh, I know that’s really my fault, not yours.”

“You do, do you?” Klavier sounded bitter. His grip on Apollo’s hand was looser than usual, like he was ready to pull away at any second, like he wanted to run. The thought made Apollo’s chest ache. “And here, I thought you were as oblivious as ever.”

“Hey,” Apollo protested, frowning. Then, he sighed. “No, you - you’re right. This is on me. Will you - I - listen, I have something for you, back at the office. Can we go get it before you head to work?”

Klavier nodded shortly. While his eyes had softened, his smile was still strained. “Ja, let’s go.”

Thankfully, the agency was empty when they got there, save for a certain something sitting patiently on Apollo’s desk. He set his bag down, then turned on all the lights, his heart pounding rapidly against his ribcage. “So these aren’t as nice as your dad’s, but, uh. This is for you...and your parents.”

“What do you - ah!” Klavier approached Apollo’s desk with wide, disbelieving eyes, his gaze fixated on the beautiful arrangement of white lilies, yellow tulips, and white orchids wrapped in white decorative tissue paper. “Apollo, these are...they’re lovely! Did you pick these out yourself?”

“Athena helped,” Apollo said, hovering nervously. “She said white lilies are for humility, yellow tulips can mean forgiveness, and white orchids symbolize strength. Fitting, since I wanted to...apologize. For being a horrible boyfriend.”

“I don’t know about ‘horrible’,” Klavier said, gently running a finger down the length of one of the orchids. “...but you have been distant. If you’re not actually interested in meeting my parents, or if you...if you want to end things, just say so, will you?” His voice cracked. “I might like a bit of drama every now and then, but not in my own life. Not in my own relationship.”

“What?! No, no, I-I don’t wanna end things at all!” Apollo exclaimed, his voice filling the room. He took a few deep, even breaths to calm himself. “Just...will you hear me out? Please?” Klavier nodded, though he refused to look at him. “I’m...I’m sorry for avoiding you and your parents. And before you ask...yes. I was doing it on purpose. It’s nothing that - none of you did anything wrong, okay? It’s me, i-it’s - it - I - ah - ”

Klavier turned on his heel, worried. “Apollo? Are you - ”

“Ah-choo!”

Klavier jumped. “Ach - Apollo?”

“I forgot there were asters in there,” Apollo grumbled, reaching for a tissue. He wasn’t sure which was redder now, his nose or his cheeks. “It’s - I - achoo - ”

“Apollo,” Klavier said slowly; if Apollo didn’t know any better, he would've thought he was trying not to laugh. “Are you, by chance...allergic to pollen?”

Apollo sniffed sharply. “...yes, dammit, yes! That’s literally what I’ve been trying to say - achoo - just now, until - achoo - my sinuses decided to - achoo - speak for me!” He was half-doubled over at this point, clenching a fistful of tissues in both hands.

“Baby, have you been rejecting my invitation to meet my parents because you’re allergic to all the flowers we’ve been sending you for the last several weeks?” Klavier sounded more incredulous than angry.

“...yes. Yes, I have, yes, I’m an idiot and an asshole and - achoo - I’m so sorry, Klavier, I - achoo - ”

“Bitte, say it, don’t spray it.” Klavier held up Apollo’s tissue box for him, keeping it - and Apollo himself - at a good distance. “Mein Gott, Apollo, I thought you wanted to break up with me! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!”

It took another minute or so before Apollo finally stopped sneezing long enough to get a full sentence out. He sniffled again, wiping his nose completely clean. “...have you ever told, like, the tiniest lie to make someone happy, only for it to turn into a big...thing? And then you know you have to come clean, that it’s what you’re s’posed to do, but the thought of doing it makes you anxious, even if not doing it also makes you anxious, and then...it just...it, uh, it stays with you.” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head. “Not that that’s an excuse, it’s just - that’s just what happened. I’m sorry, Klavier, I really am. I really do want to meet your parents, they’re so sweet and friendly a-and funny, I’m just...I’m bad at this. Really, really bad at this.”

Klavier sighed. Apollo held his breath, anticipating the worst. Then, Klavier wrapped him in his arms, letting out another sigh of relief. “I understand, liebe, and...I forgive you. Danke for explaining yourself.” He kissed the top of Apollo’s head. “Maybe we should’ve stuck to sending you pies, ja?”

Apollo laughed wetly. “I don’t know how you’re joking right now. That’s usually my job.” He lifted his head from Klavier’s chest to look up at him with a grateful smile. “I really did love the flowers, you know. When they weren’t attacking my respiratory system, that is.”

“Still, let’s not push it any further,” Klavier said wryly. “Now - two things, if you don’t mind. First, let me give you some moisturizer for your poor, poor nose. I’m not kissing you until I’m sure your skin won’t flake off in the process.”

“Ew, thanks for the gross visual,” Apollo grimaced. “And the second thing?”

Klavier smiled. “If you're alright with it, I’d like you to tell my parents what happened...in person.”

_____

The garden was just as beautiful as Apollo imagined it to be, given the dozens and dozens of photos he’d gotten from Klavier’s papa. It was full and lush and vibrant, with towering trees that provided ample shade, a beautiful gazebo with a built-in fireplace, a gorgeous two-tiered fish pond, and of course, a plethora of flowers, as far as they could see. Everything was especially beautiful, in Apollo’s opinion, from the relative safety of the conservatory.

“We’re not throwing you to the wolves, darling,” Klavier’s mama insisted, as if she were talking about actual wild animals and not her husband’s hobby. “We’ll stay in here for high tea so you can admire the garden at a safe distance, yes?”

“Yes, th-thank you,” Apollo stammered, relieved. “High tea?”

“Today’s menu is German chocolate scones and mini-sandwiches. With the crusts cut off for my fussy baby boy, of course,” she added, pinching Klavier’s cheek with a devious grin.

“Mama,” Klavier protested, embarrassed. His papa chuckled, settling into the chair across from his son; he still had a smudge of dirt on his nose. “I’m a grown man, achtung. I have my own health insurance and everything!”

“I really am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Gavin,” Apollo said sincerely. Despite their kindness and generosity, he was still somewhat intimidated by them, by how tall and beautiful and well-spoken they were. As much as he didn’t want to think about his former boss, Apollo could see where he and Klavier got their good looks and charm from. “I wanted to make a good impression, but I, uh, I didn’t go about it the right way. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now, but...I kept it from happening for a dumb reason, and it led to me hurting your feelings and Klavier’s feelings. I’m sorry.”

“All is forgiven,” Klavier’s papa insisted, waving a hand. “Just promise you’ll stop by every now and then, alright? Our doors are open to you, Apollo. Consider us your parents, too, if you’d like.”

Apollo smiled softly. “I would, sir.”

“It’ll be a good, allergy-free time, I promise,” he continued with a teasing wink. “We’ll bake some bread, watch some home movies...are you interested in seeing - ach, what do the kids call it - Klavier’s ‘goth phase’?”

Apollo’s mouth dropped open. “...his what.”

“Papa, nein,” Klavier whined; he really did sound like a child now. “Maybe it was a mistake to bring you here, liebling.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Apollo said, his grin widening. “I would love to see Klavier’s goth phase. Did he dye his hair?”

“Oh, did he,” Klavier’s mama said slyly with the exasperated sigh of a parent who had dealt with too much. “It’s a miracle he managed to get back to blond at all.” She then got to her feet, smoothing out the front of her apron. “Anyway, Papa and I should go check on the scones now. You two sit tight, okay?” Before Apollo could blink, she’d dropped kisses on both his and Klavier’s foreheads, then disappeared down the hallway and into the kitchen, her husband in tow. He turned to look at Klavier, who was watching him nervously.

“I love them,” Apollo admitted. “They’re so sweet, Klav, they - stop looking at me like that, will you?”

“You can’t blame me for worrying,” Klavier said, kissing him briefly. “But I’m glad to hear it. Ich liebe dich, schatz.”

“Love you too, dork,” Apollo murmured against Klavier’s lips. “...so. Did you have a lip ring, or snake bites, or - ”

“Get out of my house,” Klavier huffed, pinching Apollo’s arm with an exaggerated pout.

“Hey! This isn’t your house, it’s your parents’ house, and they said their doors were open,” Apollo teased, laughing. Rolling his eyes, Klavier pulled Apollo into his arms, the two of them snuggled up on the loveseat. In the distance, they could see birds and butterflies fluttering among the flowers, a stray squirrel or two sniffing curiously at the edge of the fish pond. It was peaceful, serene. If it wasn't for the pollen, Apollo could see himself staying outside for hours at a time. “...but seriously, I’m looking forward to the video evidence.”

“I’m sure you are,” Klavier sighed, giving Apollo one last kiss before his parents returned with a large tray of sandwiches, scones, tea, and a vase with a single red rose for decoration - hypoallergenic, of course.

_____

a/n: Welcome to my second entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the fourth of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. Today, I have projected my allergies and anxiety onto Apollo, because that's what fanfiction is for, right? I hope y'all like my version of the Gavins; I've written them as cold and distant a couple of times, but I usually prefer to write them as warm and witty so that Klavier has a good support system in his life.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you're all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Madelaine//i wasn’t ready then, i’m ready now, i’m heading straight for you

Request: Maybe you could do an imagine for Madeleine where reader is pregnant and is hanging out with cami Lili and Vanessa while Madeleine films a scene and she goes into labor and the girls start to panic and Madeleine has to cut the scene short & just fluff?

hey! its returned!! wooo! i hope you like this!!! also, thank you @statticghost for helping me with the title! it’s from adele’s ‘sweetest devotion’ which she wrote for her kid, which is quite nice. anyway, go check out @stattic-writes because they’re great and i like them a lot!! and have a nice day!! 

To most people, the behind the scenes of the Riverdale set is one huge maze that takes an eternity to walk through. With giant sets, an uncertain amount of rooms used for anything from storage to nap rooms and an unlimited amount of wiring lining the walls and floors. 

However to a very pregnant woman, it’s almost impossible to get through without getting lost at least twice, tripping at least five times (made even worse when you can’t see past your own stomach) and having to sit down every five minutes. Plus, the dull ache in your back you’ve been feeling all morning hasn’t really helped you. You’ve spent a good hour walking around and looking for your friends, and you’ve only now just found them, sat in what is usually the student lounge of Riverdale High. 

“Y/n? Did you swallow a planet?” Lili asks and you send her a sarcastic smile as you waddle towards her. 

Vanessa and Cami stop talking at the mention of your name, and large smiles appear on their faces once they see you. Cami and Vanessa stand to help you the last few feet to where they’re all sat while Lili moves along on the brown sofa so you can sit down. 

“It certainly looks like I did.” You huff once you’ve sat down. Your hands rest on your stomach as you take a few minutes to catch your breath. 

“Don’t listen to her. You look great.”

“You are a terrible liar Cami.”

“I’m not lying, you look amazing, especially considering the fact that you’re 38 weeks pregnant.” She argues, both Vanessa and Lili agreeing with her and you roll your eyes at your friends. They’re very sweet, but they’re all awful liars. 

“39 actually.”

“Shouldn’t you be at home?” Vanessa shifts in her seat so she’s facing you and you huff loudly, crossing your arms over your chest. You probably look like a grumpy toddler right now, with a pout on your lips and your arms crossed, but so would anybody that had been asked the same question every time they had a conversation with someone over the past few weeks.

“I should.” You nod. “But there’s only so much day time television I can take. My god its boring, I need to do something.”

“You’re gonna miss boring when they come along.” Lili glances at your stomach and you smile softly. 

“I know. But right now I couldn’t care less. I just want to talk to somebody that isn’t myself or a baby that can’t reply.”

“You’ve been talking to yourself?” Cami asks with a hint of concern in her voice. 

“I spend hours alone in the house, who else am I supposed to talk to.”

“Your friends?” She shrugs. 

“You try answering the door, or the phone with this attached to you making everything ten times harder.” You reply, sending her a look. 

“Fair point.” She nods. 

“How’d you get here then?” Lili asks. 

“With great difficulty.” You say, despite the lack of humour in your tone, the girls still laugh at your comment and even though you don’t want to, you feel a small smile breaking through your grumpy facade, until all four of you are giggling quietly. “Is Madelaine around?” 

“She’s filming at the minute, but she should be done soon.” Vanessa tells you, grabbing her phone and checking the time. You nod slowly, weighing up your lunch options while you look around. 

“Who’s facing Cheryl Blossom’s wrath today?” You ask. 

“Archie.” Lili replies, sending you a look and you grimace. 

“Poor KJ.”

“I think the stress of the baby is making her acting even better. She seems to channel all of that stress into making Cheryl the bitchiest woman ever. Its fascinating to watch.” Cami says and you smile at your friend. 

“And kind of scary.” Lili adds making you laugh. 

“Yeah. She’s kind of gone a little crazy over the past few weeks. She’s been planning literally everything. She has notebooks filled with baby things, the nursery was finished within the first month that we found out I was pregnant. And last week, she started setting alarms at weird hours of the night to get used to the sleep schedule.” You explain and they look at you with varying amounts of alarm. 

“Its sweet that she’s excited though.” Vanessa says. 

“Yeah it is.” You smile. They’ve never seen you smile like that before, full of excitement and joy and it makes them all smile too. Madelaine has the same look whenever somebody mentions you or the baby, and its very sweet to witness.

Your fingers draw light patterns over your stomach, and the baby kicks in return. Despite the pain, you smile anyway, wondering if they can hear you take about their mom.

They could come at any time really and you and Madelaine are waiting eagerly to welcome them into the world. Its something you’ve been wanting and waiting for, for two years, so you’re more than excited. Its been a long and draining journey filled with high exceptions and disappointing realities, doctors surgeries and needles and tears and frustration, but its all been leading up to this, and so its more than worth it. 

“I can’t wait to meet them.” Cami interrupts your thoughts and you look at her slightly dazed. 

“Yeah, me too.” Both Vanessa and Lili nod in agreement and you smile at the three of them. 

“Do you have any names?” Vanessa asks. 

“Nothing for certain yet. I think Madelaine’s convinced that when it comes out, it’ll just have a face that fits a name.” 

“So the answer is no then?” Cami teases. 

“Basically yeah.” You agree, laughing a little. 

“I don’t know if Madelaine has told you but, I hope you know you’re probably going to need a bigger house with all of the stuff you’re going to get just from us three.”

“Yep.” You nod. “She’s told me. And she told me about all the other cast and crew. Is it true that Casey got a huge 6ft teddy bear.” 

“Yes.” Lili laughs. “It lives in his spare room and he’s become quite attached to it.” 

“I’m pretty sure he said he was keeping that one and just buying you a new one.” Vanessa continues and the four of you laugh loudly. 

Yours however, is cut short by a sharp pain in your lower stomach. Your sudden inhale stops all laughter and the three of them look at you quickly. Your eyes screw shut while one hand grips your lower back and the other holds your stomach. 

“Y/n?” Vanessa asks quietly. “Is everything okay.” 

“Nope.” You force out through gritted teeth, slowly opening your eyes to look at them. 

Even though you’re fully prepared for this, you’ve read every book and article, some even twice because of Madelaine, now that its actually happening, all of that knowledge has gone out the window and all you want to do is cry. Nothing is right, Madelaine is busy, and its a week early and even though you love your friends dearly, the way they are looking at you is making you feel more panicked. 

The pain dulls a little at you let out a long breath, gripping the corner of the sofa and all three of the girls wince as they watch you. You feel something shift, and then another wave of pain rolls around and you grit your teeth again, pressure building up in your lower abdomen. 

“Is it happening?” Vanessa asks and you nod quickly. 

“Are you sure?” Lili asks, helping you stand when you try and do it yourself. Vanessa and Cami surround you, all of them steadying you while you’re doubled over in pain. 

“No. I’m just trying to tell this apart from a stomach ache, yes of course I’m sure. How can you not be sure that a human life is coming out of you?!” You grumble angrily, trying to focus your breathing. 

“Okay, just checking.” She apologizes. “Why don’t you sit down?” 

“I don’t want to sit down.” 

“Okay, me and Cami will help you stand, and Lili will go find Mads. Okay?” Vanessa takes charge of the situation and you’re glad somebody has. You don’t know what you would have done if all three of them stayed this panicked. 

“Okay.” You nod and Cami takes over from Lili. “Please hurry.” You hear Lili walk away, her footsteps getting quieter and you try to focus on listening for her coming back. 

“Okay, right. What do we do? I’ve never been in this situation before, what do we do?” Vanessa says frantically, looking around and trying to find something to help. Okay, maybe you were a little quick to think that she would know what to do. 

“We...breathe!” Cami says quickly. “Okay, Y/n, Y/n? Take deep breaths. In and out. In and out.” 

“Please stop saying in and out.” You cry, another contraction coming and going and the grip on her t-shirt tightens. 

“Sorry.” 

“Do you want anything? A drink or something?” Vanessa asks.

“I’m, ow, ow, ow, fuck, fuck fucking, shit OW.” 

“Owwww.” Cami cries, her legs buckling slightly as you squeeze her hand. 

“Stop being a baby.” Vanessa scolds and she sends her a glare back. 

“You’re not the one thats having the life squeezed out of their hand.” 

“You’re not the one pushing a melon sized thing out of your vagina! I get to say ow and nobody else.” You interrupt, getting more and more annoyed by the second. Where the hell is Lili? 

She’s only gone for two minutes, but two minutes feel like a life time when you’re pushing a human out of you. And so when she returns with a very panicked Madelaine in tow, you don’t know whether to hug her or hit her. 

Either one wouldn’t do much to stop the pain you’re feeling, but when Madelaine places a gentle hand on your back, taking over from Vanessa and Cami, you do feel a little bit better. 

“Hi babe.” Her voice is soft and comforting and dulls the pain slightly. You manage to stand up a little to look at her, and the smile thats lighting up her face is the best thing you’ve ever seen. She looks happier than you’ve ever seen her before and if you weren’t in so much pain, you’d definitely tell her how cute she looks. 

“Hi.” You manage to reply, despite it feeling like you’re being stabbed repeatedly. Her smile fades as she watches you grimace, and now she looks worried. But she tries to hide it, painting on a slightly wonky smile as she looks back at you. 

“You’re not supposed to be here.” She says, trying to distract you and a you let out a small laugh. 

“I got bored.” 

“Not so bored now are you?” She teases. 

“Nope.” You steel yourself against her and she wraps an arm around your waist, the other holds your hand tightly as she leads you towards the door. 

“Can one of you grab my bag please?” She asks the girls and Vanessa quickly runs off to grab it. Madelaine continues to lead you out of the door and after a lifetime (a minute) of walking, you’re stood by the doors that lead into the cast and crew parking lot. Vanessa catches up with you, and follows you to the car, putting Madelaine and yours’ bag in the backseat. 

“Are you telling me I could have just walked through that door instead of wandering around for an hour.” You huff as Madelaine helps you into the car. 

“Well, I told you to stay in bed but you wouldn’t listen to me.” She replies while fastening your seatbelt and you catch her gaze, sending her a hard glare. 

“Do you really want to argue with me right now?” 

“...nope.” She shakes her head quickly, double checking that you’re safe and you have everything before moving around the car and climbing into the drivers seat. The girls have already left, off to tell various people what is happening so its just the two of you. 

Madelaine starts the car, but takes a moment to look over at you, sat panting and sweaty in the passenger seat, but she knows she’s never loved anyone more. There’s nobody else in this world that she’d rather be doing this with, you’re her best friend and her soulmate and she’s going to love you and this baby for the rest of her life and beyond. 

“I love you.” She reaches her hand over the console to hold yours and you stop what you’re doing to look back at her, a small smile twitching at your lips. 

“I love you too.” You reply and press a soft kiss to her hand. 

“Are you ready?” She asks. 

“No.” You say honestly. “Are you?” 

“Absolutely not.” She laughs. 

Neither of you are worried though, because you know you have each other. 

[thatfriendlyecho]

Sanders Sides AU: Modern Kingdom of Imagineria

Finally I make one of these! My 8 month writer’s block has finally diminished for now and I’ve decided to make an AU I’ve been working on for about a year (among other things).

This is a Modern Fantasy AU, where technology and real life bullshit exists alongside magic. As all good Sanders Sides AUs go, there will be ships. If you want a non-ship esque AU, leave now because there is a whole lotta LAMP.

Anyway, let’s get right into the character descriptions!

Roman Olivers (Dragon-Hybrid, 16)

Roman was born in Manchester, and even after moving to the modern Kingdom of Imagineria at the age of six, he still has a slight English accent.

Roman and his twin brother, Remus, were adopted after their mother was found dead curled around her children in the Endless Forest, just on the outskirts of Manchester. Their adoptive parents, a pair of now ex-dragon hunters, found the twins and took them in as their own.

They moved a few years later, after their mother’s scent vanished and they could leave without the twins remembering her anymore.

Roman’s mother was a fully-grown ruby-scaled dragon (presumably the last of her kind, according to his parents), and he has visible scales of his own on his shoulders, back of his hands, cheeks, neck and forehead.

He is not a full dragon, and he and his brother are half-human. (Or dragonborn, for all of you D&D buffs. Except that he’s mostly human in appearance)

Roman is insecure about his dragon heritage, and as such he grew a slight hatred for dragons. He has often stated that he would slay dragons that ever even set foot near his family.

He doesn’t have wings, but instead has a scaly tail that sprouts from his lower back.

He trips people sometimes, but don’t tell his mother.

All in all, he has serious body dysphoria.

He’s overly protective of his loved ones.

He’s been suspended twice, once because someone made fun of Remus right in front of him, and another time because someone was bullying Virgil.

Roman can create small flames from his mouth, though those have mostly been by accident. This usually occurs when he laughs too hard.

Roman and Virgil didn’t get along for a very, very long time. He eventually started catching feelings for him when he showed up to his front step on his birthday with a woven blanket that he still has not washed to this day.

Roman met Patton and Logan at a library, where Logan snapped at him for flirting with Patton while he was working.

He sings Disney songs on the regular as a coping mechanism.

He’s currently a sophomore in high school that works as his neighbor's babysitter.

Patton Hazir (Harpy, 16)

Patton was born in the Endless Forest, and when he left it for the first time, he appeared in Imagineria.

Patton’s name is actually completely different, but he doesn’t go by it because it’s too complicated to pronounce.

His nickname was Pat because that was the only part of his name that Logan could pronounce. The last name was a random sound he made after stubbing his toe, which kills his friends to this day.

Harpies become independent of their parents after ten years old, and as such don’t have the obligation to return home every night. Since he wanted to go to school, though most harpies don’t want a modern education, he still lives with him.

His parents are very sweet, and naturally they don’t mind.

Patton looks mostly normal, as harpies disguise themselves to present normally to the human eye. The things that seriously stand out about Patton is the fact that he has no ears, he has a few small feathers in his arms that he can’t conceal, and he has talons for feet.

When Patton is in his true form, he has eagle-like feathers sprouting from his arms in varying shades of soft blue. His waist down morphs into the bottom half of some large eagle, tail feathers and all. His torso and head remain as is.

As time progressed, harpies became more docile, and are now not such predatory monsters. They are still extremely territorial and it is unwise to cross a flock, but they are actually very friendly in comparison to a century ago.

Patton is the prime example of the kindest harpies to ever exist in the history of...ever.

He literally smiles at the sun when he wakes up what kind of-

Many people, especially those who are much older, still regard him with a watchful eye.

Patton thinks basically everything is cute. You could show him an imp and he’d pinch its cheek. (He's done this before and he regretted it immediately after)

The biggest challenge for him was Virgil, who we’ll get to in a moment.

They have some really cute moments together.

He can sing, though he’s really shy about it so it rarely ever happens.

His voice sounds enough like music that nobody complains (often).

Patton also has an insane love for sugar cookies, and whenever he’s stressed, he stress-bakes.

Since he doesn’t have a “modern home” in the forest, he usually shows up at Roman's or Virgil's house with a bunch of cookie ingredients.

He has a tendency to steal food, and can’t go into a grocery store without being closely watched.

He received a joke book from Logan on his birthday, and he regrets it. You cannot say anything without him making a pun.

He’s currently a sophomore in high school, and he assists the librarian at the Public Imaginative Library. He doesn’t get paid, and simply loves helping out. That’s how he met Logan.

Logan (Dryad, 14)

Logan was born in the Endless Forest without true parents, being as he is a tree nymph, or a dryad.

Logan was sorely misguided after he was birthed from Mother Earth, and as such he became very curious very, very quickly.

Mere minutes after being born, he wandered to a riverside and was almost killed by a hungry, stranded mermaid.

Luckily he morphed into a tree right at the bank of the river right before she could fatally injure him.

He has a bite mark on his side, which has healed into a scar from the mermaid attack.

Logan was not born naturally smart, and was in fact very naive at birth. He was curious, and never thought of the consequences of his actions until he left the forest and entered Imagineria.

When Logan left the forest, he hid in public parks, where he changed into his tree form for extended amounts of time.

Logan is a dryad, meaning that in Imagineria, if he wished to pursue an education, he could enroll for school on his own. When he learned how to read (he was 3), he became addicted to knowledge, and enrolled himself.

He skipped a grade, which is why he's so young.

The first word that he learned was "falsehood", and he found it very useful after he became friends with Patton, Roman, and Virgil. It is now his favorite word, and he gets very happy when he reads it somewhere.

The library became his home away from home, which is where he met Patton.

Logan is really book smart, NOT street/survival smart. He knows how to transform into a tree when faced with danger, but he doesn't know how to fight per sey.

Logan's appearance is humanoid in nature (no pun intended), and he has the palest skin tone of all the others. There's a slight green tone to his skin, and he sometimes grows small blue flowers that appear in his hair. He also has pointed ears and long claws that he can retract.

He can see well enough, but after meeting Patton, he grew envious of his glasses and made his own out of branches. Don't tell Patton that.

Logan gave himself his name. He doesn't have a last name because he finds it unnecessary.

Logan is a full-blown vegan, and the others need to take this into account whenever they eat together. He doesn't eat often, but he loves fruit and berries.

He's currently a junior in high school.

Virgil Anansi (Arachne, 14)

Virgil was born with the Curse of Arachne, as his family were a mischievous bunch of practicing witches and wizards. This basically means that they angered the ancient spider spirit and she cursed each generation's first born with the Curse.

Virgil was homeschooled until he was of high school age. He's extremely anti-social and insecure because of it.

Much like Roman, Virgil has body dysphoria, though not as badly due to his family.

The Anansi family is a pretty wild and close family, though they experiment with questionable black magic often. They were shunned from society after crossing Arachne.

Had it not been for his curse, Virgil would be classified as an Anansi Witch.

Virgil has three little sisters (triplets), a baby brother, two really weird fathers, a feral uncle who lives in the basement, a grandmother that drinks enough alcohol to poison a large pony, and a familiar for each of them. That makes 9 people and 9 familiars living together.

Virgil's familiar is ironically a spider, a palm-sized tarantula named Kisa.

Virgil had never felt different until he grew up and had to go to school. He was never bullied physically until he showed vulnerability in public.

Virgil's bangs only cover a little bit of his forehead, where three extra pairs of eyes are. They're a pupiless, orchid purple (as Logan dubbed them), and he can't make them vanish like his extra limbs and abdomen. He has fangs, but they're pretty small and elongate when he's hunting. On his back there is a "tattoo" of three purple diamonds.

Often times, when Virgil is being sulky, he makes spider silk blankets and scarves in his room while he listens to classical music.

Depending on what kind of music he listens to effects the sturdiness of his webs. Classical isn't his favorite genre of music, but he can't exactly listen to My Chemical Romance while trying to make an intricate design.

Virgil is an absolute sass master, and normally wins verbal arguments. (You can probably guess who he argues with the most.)

He convinced Patton to sing with him in the school talent show, and they sang Lovely Night from La La Land.

Virgil and Logan are the youngest of their friend group, though often times they feel like they're the ones reeling the oldest ones in.

Virgil's the youngest, and he's treated like the group's baby more often than not.

He and Patton were not super close at first because the harpy was afraid of spiders, and Roman hated his guts for reasons he still won't confess to. He had a hard time making friends with Logan because he was just as awkward if not worse.

He and Patton got really close after an incident caused Patton to break his arm, and Virgil nursed him back to health with potions and a whole lotta cuddling. It was cute.

Virgil met Roman first, which was the worst first impression he had ever given off. Especially since he immediately thereafter had a gay panic.

Virgil is a freshman in highschool, and eventually creates a job in which he creates spider silk blankets and sells them online.

These are the main four's character descriptions, but I can go into depth character appearances, character stories, the modern Kingdom of Imagineria, the Endless Forest, etc. I'm planning on writing the main plotline on AO3, but I haven't decided yet.

I guess I'll have to see. Mkay byee~

[lechevaliermalfet]

West Across the Sand: A Look Back at Kazan

When I first got into anime and manga, I was in my mid-teens, and it was the mid- to late 90s.  And at least in my part of the world, it was a little like joining a secret society.  You practically had to already know someone on The Inside, and it was like getting initiated.  Whoever had been into it longer than you would want to show you the classics of the era: Ranma ½, Tenchi Muyo! (Which one?  All of them), Akira, Vampire Hunter D, or any number of choice others.  Soundtracks (if you were into that sort of thing) were hard to come by, and most of the ones I found locally came courtesy of either Son May or EverAnime – companies I later found out were Taiwanese bootleggers.  You could tell the discs were bootlegs because the prices were reasonable.

In those days, getting fansubs meant sending blank VHS tapes to total strangers you’d found online, and waiting weeks (or longer) to get them back with anime on them, and everybody had the Anime Web Turnpike bookmarked.  There’s still a website at its URL, though Wikipedia states it’s been offline as of 2014.  

If you want to know where anime got its reputation for violence and sex, this particular era is where you want to look.  The market for anime was small in those days, and the licensors and distributors really had no idea how to expand it.  So a lot of them (in particular Streamline, Urban Visions, and U.S. Manga Corps; now all defunct) catered to the exploitation-flick market – the gore-hounds and the porn junkies, and the people we would have called edgelords if the term had been invented yet.

This was a time when you could use the word “Japanimation” utterly without irony, and there was a good chance that nobody hearing it would cringe.

Manga, meanwhile, was a total wilderness.  You couldn’t find it in bookstores back then.  That you can today is thanks to Tokyopop.  Whatever their numerous and varied sins, they can claim to have done that bit of good, at least.  And Amazon and Ebay were somewhere off over the horizon.  So you had to go to your local comic book shop, and then you had to look around for yourself, because chances were that even the people who worked there didn’t know what in the hell you were talking about.

Most of the manga that was available came through Viz and Dark Horse (and maybe other avenues I’ve forgotten).  But mostly Viz.  Dark Horse got their hands on some great stuff (Ghost in the Shell and Blade of the Immortal, just to name two), but Viz got more stuff, and a wider variety of it.

At the tail-end of the 90s, there was the beginning of an anime boom that lasted until about the mid-aughts.  I was at one of Crispin Freeman’s Q&A panels at Anime Central a couple of years ago, and he likened it to a tide rolling in about every decade. The tide comes in, hits a high-water mark, and recedes.  Then it comes in again, a little higher this time, and recedes.  In the late 90s, the tide came in and largely stayed in.

A large part of this, I think, was Toonami, which took a crowbar (part Dragon Ball Z and part Gundam Wing at the start, followed by others later) to the whole situation and forced the door wide open.  A lot of what they showed was very commercial and fairly “safe” (or at least, could be made safe), but it accomplished what Astro Boy and Speed Racer and Starblazers and Robotech before had never managed, which was to make anime into a minor phenomenon.

In the wake of that sudden explosion, there were a ton of smaller and less established entities who got into the business.  More of these, so far as I can remember, went into manga rather than anime (though there were a few new anime companies, like SynchPoint).  It was probably cheaper than trying to get in on the anime side of things.  Suddenly, we had Tokyopop (first under their Mixx Manga label, then later their own name), and DrMaster, and ComicsOne (whose publications were later taken over by DrMaster when ComicsOne vanished into the ether in 2005; DrMaster would follow suit themselves, just four years later), and Yen Press, and Studio Ironcat, and Seven Seas…  Even reputable publishers like Del Rey got in on the act after a while.

It was an exciting time to be a fan, to have so many new avenues available through which to explore the hobby, each trying to find new and exciting material in order to carve out their own niche.  Today, a lot of these publishers don’t exist.  The market was growing, but didn’t ultimately grow enough to allow room for them all.  

A certain part of me actually misses the bad old days.  Like any rational person, I’m happy that one of my major interests is now at least sort of mainstream, easy to access, and at least somewhat cheaper (nowadays, companies like Aniplex only want an arm and a leg for a boxed set of Kara no Kyoukai; back in the day, they’d have demanded your firstborn).  If nothing else, the release schedules are infinitely better.  But there was something about being a fan back then that made me feel like I was a part of something, some group, some tribe.  There was a feeling of having some hidden, secret knowledge, of knowing a whole language of fandom that other people didn’t understand, of having a line on something other people didn’t know about and didn’t get.

Really, though, I think what I miss most is the newness of my hobby.  I miss it being strange and wonderful and full mostly of unknowns, of things yet to be seen and experienced.  I miss knowing that twenty years ago, if I’d come across a copy of Beast King GoLion in a vendor’s stall, I would have lost my damn mind.  Now, I just go “Huh. Neat,” and put it on my Amazon wishlist.

A few months ago, I was going through my old manga, and came across the three volumes of Kazan I owned, out of a seven-volume run.  They were some of the first manga I’d bought in what was, at the time, the newer (smaller) size format that’s now standard for manga. Mirror-imaging, or “flopping” the artwork was still common at the time, although that practice was on its way out.  If there’s one other thing we can all thank Tokyopop for, it’s normalizing the right-to-left format for manga in the U.S.

Kazan was written and drawn by Gaku Miyao, who was probably most famous for his character design work on the Devil Hunter Yohko OVA from the mid-90s.  It was published in the U.S. by ComicsOne from 2001 to 2005.  It’s out of print now, and it was never enough of a thing that anybody else cared to pick up the license after they vanished into the ether.

It doesn’t shock me that ComicsOne went under, really.  They didn’t only release total unknowns, mind.  They got Onegai Teacher and Onegai Twins.  There was also Tsukihime: Lunar Legend (though that franchise has played second fiddle to its younger sibling Fate for a long while now).  On the other hand, they also published Jesus, and the prophet from Nazareth has never really been what you’d call a favorite character in the anime fandom.  Then as now, almost nobody in the fandom stans Christ.  Except maybe Vic Mignogna, and, well...

I remember it being new and exciting when I was reading it.  Now, looking back, it’s very much a relic of its times.  Given that ComicsOne began U.S. publication of it in 2001, I’m guessing the manga was probably published in the mid- to late 90s in Japan.  The artwork is a lot closer in style to what you’d see back then, as well as the character tropes and archetypes.  

I’d always meant to pick up the remaining volumes – certainly I’d liked what I’d read – but I’d fallen behind on collecting them as they came out, and they were hard to find later on.  Kazan was never a major item on anybody’s radar.  It’s so minor that even danbooru has no images of it.  At least, none tagged.  Fucking danbooru.

My curiosity about the later events of the series had been going strong for close to two decades, so I finally broke down and bought the remaining volumes in an Ebay auction… and then didn’t read them, I guess because now that I had them, I could take my time.

I finally got around to re-reading the series just recently, and it’s been an interesting slice of nostalgia.

Kazan is a desert-punk story named after its protagonist.  Kazan looks about eight years old, is actually closer to eighteen, and is about ten-thousand percent done with everyone’s shit.  “Surly” doesn’t quite do it justice.  He’s searching for his childhood friend, a girl named Elsie.  

Back when he actually was eight years old, he was approached by a water demon who told him that his father Sheeroc had, in desperation at the prospect of dying alone in the desert, sold Kazan for just a cup of water.  Sheeroc, leader of the nomad clan known as the Red Sand, was at that time questing about for a way to give his people a more grounded way of life.  However, instead of Kazan, the water demon decided to kidnap his childhood friend Elsie, for reasons that go unexplained for most of the story.  The demon also decided to wreck Kazan’s entire village just for good measure, and Kazan winds up the only survivor that he knows of.

Since that moment, he has not physically aged a day.  The reason for this is also left unexplained for most of the manga’s run.  

Suffice it to say that some of his surliness comes from having to constantly prove to people that, despite all appearances, he really is not a child.  A lot of the rest of it comes from the whole “being sold to a water demon” thing.

His only traveling companion in the beginning is a giant white eagle with a red crest, named Kamushin.  The eagle is so large and strong (or Kazan is so small), that he can actually carry Kazan at least for brief periods.  Kamushin seems to be sentient at times, and whether he is or not, he tends to be the most level-headed one in the room.

Aside from the eagle, Kazan’s most easily distinguishable features are his shounen-hero hair, his tall red hat, and his knife, which he wields and throws with frightening accuracy.

It’s not long at all before he gains two additional companions on his journey.  One is Fawna, a young girl capable of manifesting water at will.  This power is a double-edged sword in a desert environment.  It’s helpful while traveling, but the things people might do to have control of her power – and of course, by extension, Fawna herself – mean she has to use the power sparingly.  She and Kazan initially come to blows once her ability is revealed, or rather, Kazan comes to blows.  Fawna comes to bewilderment and confusion in the face of Kazan’s accusations that she must be the water demon who stole Elsie years ago.  Why would she have the same power, otherwise? Eventually, though, he calms down.  As he (and we) get to know Fawna, the idea of her kidnapping anybody seems laughable.

Fawna is making her way west across the desert to a country called Goldene.  She has been summoned there, as Water People (this is the manga’s translation, and we’ll come to that in a bit) frequently are, as they are necessary for the control and upkeep of Goldene’s water supply.  She’s around seventeen, and spends most of the story unaware of Kazan’s actual age.  She seems to not really take his claims of adulthood very seriously.  In fairness, “My name’s Kazan.  I’m not a kid,” – practically his catchphrase, and usually a good sign that someone has a beating on the way – is pretty much exactly what you’d expect a kid to say.

With Fawna having the same water powers as the entity that kidnapped Elsie, and Goldene seemingly a place where people of that sort are gathered, Kazan decides that his quest is pointing him in that direction.  Despite some misgivings, he decides to accompany her.  Luckily, the two of them happen across another companion, an old woman named Arbey who has a talent for making explosives.  She claims to know the way there, having been a citizen of the country herself at some point in her past.

So they go.

Along the way, they are beset by monsters and difficult situations with other travelers, as well as occasional tussles with Messengers, fierce and deadly agents of Goldene out kill Fawna (their reasons are initially unclear) and capture Kamushin, who turns out to be the White Eagle of Goldene, making him an item of high significance.

Part of what initially caught my attention about Kazan was that it reminded me in a vague way of Eden’s Bowy.  This was a show I’d first seen fansubbed at AnimeIowa in 2000.  If you want another really good example of just how different things were back then, there it is: Conventions would show fansubs, because the industry had virtually no presence at any of them except maybe the absolute biggest, so they could get away with it.  I was nursing a minor obsession with Eden’s Bowy at the time.  The three or four episodes I’d seen at the convention had grabbed my attention for reasons I’m not entirely sure I understand.  Part of it was the creeping doubt over whether the show would ever get picked up for U.S. release (it did, in fact), and I figured I was unlikely ever to see it again.  So anything that put me in mind of it got my attention.

As it happens, the similarities between Kazan and Eden’s Bowy run no deeper than the surface. There are the common elements of a boy in (mostly) white crossing the desert with a mystically empowered young girl and an older adult as companions, and in both stories, they’re seeking out a city that in some fashion lords it over the rest of the setting.  Beyond that, they couldn’t be more different.  For starters, Yorn, the hero of Eden’s Bowy, is kind of the quintessential Idiot Hero of shounen manga and anime: naïve, trusting, and ultimately kind of helpless on his own.  Kazan, meanwhile, is intelligent, self-reliant, and aggressively independent.  Cynical and deeply distrustful, he resists all attempts at friendship or other emotional connection with other characters, and the vulnerability that goes with it.

Kazan isn’t the most likeable character, but his attitude at least makes sense, given his background.  He’s a very (understandably) angry young man trapped in a child’s body, and a lot of his problems come about as a result of his hardening himself against a world that seems destined by turns to betray him and refuse to take him seriously.  When we see him in flashbacks, he’s a sweet kid.  A bit of a crybaby, even.  

Still, in the present of the story, he can sometimes be an unlikeable little shit. His early relationship with Fawna is rocky, and gets violent once or twice throughout the story, which makes me cringe a lot more in 2019 than it did in 2001 or 2002.  In the interests of fairness, I should point out that he gets violent with quite a number of people, and all for the same reason as Fawna, which is that he feels what they are doing is either very wrong or dangerously stupid, or else he sees them as enemies.  He’s an equal-opportunity asshole, I guess.  So I want to say there’s nothing inherently sexist going on there.  Still, it’s not a good look, and please understand I’m not justifying it by any means.  But I do want to lend context.  

The story does wring a lot of natural tension out of the relationship between Kazan and Fawna as natural foils to each other.  Where Kazan trusts nobody and prefers to operate alone, Fawna is naïve and occasionally trusting of the wrong sorts, which gets her into trouble more than once.  And she has a tendency, early on, to lash out with her power in anger or to harm others.  This is sometimes for self-defense, but sometimes also motivated by anger.  Kazan is – oddly, given that he’s otherwise the one more comfortable with the occasional necessity of violence – adamant that she not do this.  Memorably, one of the times he’s violent with her is to stop her from doing something of that sort.  

The manga doesn’t ever really spell out Kazan’s hangup about Fawna misusing her water powers, but I have a guess.  I imagine that it has a lot to do with his initial association of Fawna’s water power with the water demon that kidnapped Elsie ten years prior.  He has a strong (but never quite articulated) belief that in a desert world, anyone with the power to create water – in practical terms, the power to support and sustain life – should not use that power for evil ends.  Fawna using her power only for good helps to mark a clear distinction between her innate goodness and the wickedness of the water demon.

Kazan himself, perhaps surprisingly given his anger and foul attitude for much of the story, tends to pull his punches.  He’s not above beating his attackers silly and occasionally dishing out pain to those he feels are deserving.  But he goes out of his way to spare people on a number of occasions, and when someone sharpens his knife to such an edge that it can cut stones, he actually requests that it be dulled again so that he doesn’t kill someone by mistake.

Refreshingly, there’s no will-they-won’t-they pseudo-romance between Kazan and Fawna.  I don’t object to a romance angle in a story in principle, but it often gets teased in a story like this, where the two leads are each other’s foils and love interests both, and it’s just done to death.  It tends to get shoehorned in because the creators of these stories (perhaps egged on by their publishers) feel that it’s necessary.  Broadening the demographics, maybe?  But there’s a sort of obligatory feeling to it a lot of the time, as if it’s clearly being done because, well, that’s just what we do with stories like this, right?  It gets to the point where you wonder why anyone bothers teasing it.  We all know from long experience how things are going to end up.  But Kazan is clearly fixed on Elsie and Elsie alone.  He and Fawna are simply friends and partners who, by the end of the story, understand each other, and work together, very well.

Another thing that’s nice about Kazan is the refreshing absence of much cheesecake fanservice.  A few characters are dressed in provocative outfits here and there, but even when that’s the case, the “camera” doesn’t really leer like you might expect.  There are one or two moments that had me sighing and shaking my head – a couple instances of the sadly typical Faux Sexual Assault As Comedy – but at this point I like to think I’m an old vet when it comes to this. It’s disappointing, but it’s the kind of thing you learn to resign yourself to if you’re going read much manga or watch much anime at all.

The final chapters of Kazan rely on a lot of last-minute revelations to explain everything.  It’s not really a matter of deus ex machina exactly so much as it is a matter of insufficient foreshadowing.  It would go down a little easier if some of these ideas had been set up maybe a little earlier in the story.  But it’s hard to complain too much.  Even as it clanks a bit toward the end, it never quite feels like the creator is pulling it out of his ass.  The ideas are sound; it’s their tardiness that’s the problem.  But even if it stumbles a little toward the finish line, Kazan’s ending is ultimately satisfying, and earned.  The last few panels are pretty much perfect, and exactly what I spent most of the manga’s run hoping for.  And of course, there’s still the entire rest of the manga before it, which is certainly worth the read.

If there’s one place where Kazan actually falls flat, it’s the translation. And that, at least, you can’t blame on the original creator.  

You could most charitably describe ComicsOne’s English translation of Kazan as workmanlike.  It’s not really a machine translation, but it does seem at times to veer awfully close to that territory.  It’s there, and things basically make sense; that’s about the best you can say for it.  Ultimately, though, it’s just lacking something.  There are places all over Kazan’s seven-volume run where the phrasing seems bland or off, where it lacks real punch and personality, and where it seems just plain awkward and stilted. There are times when it seems like the characters lack a distinct voice.  Spelling is also inconsistent.  The name of Kazan’s father is spelled Sheeroc in the earlier volumes, but Shiroc in later ones. And there are placement issues as well, where sometimes lines that are clearly meant to be spoken by one character are lumped in with the dialogue in another character’s word balloon.  Overall, the translation is some real amateur-hour work.  This seems to be a trait of ComicsOne; the one volume of the Tsukihime manga I own has some of these same issues.

But this isn’t a problem I can really hold against the manga, since it’s a problem that (to the best of my knowledge) wouldn’t really have existed in the Japanese version.  And it’s hard to fault the original creator for how translators handled his work after the fact.

There’s not much like Kazan out there that I’ve seen.  I don’t have a lot of recommendations in the vein of “If you like X, Y, or Z, then try Kazan.”

Part of the reason I enjoyed Kazan as much as I did is nostalgia.  Not for the story itself, but for the times it puts me in mind of.  The kind of story it tells; the specific way it handles its characters, and manifests their archetypes and tropes; the way it’s drawn; all of it is intensely reminiscent of its time.  There is a certain Look or Aesthetic I’m fond of in anime, and it tends a little toward the particular stylization and combination of traits that was very stereotypical at the time I was getting into it.  But even as that’s a stereotype, there’s something about it that I actually find visually appealing.  I suppose it goes back to my nostalgia.  When this was a new hobby for me, that look was practically shorthand for everything anime stood for.

More than that, it’s a time capsule, a snapshot of how things looked when I was first getting into my hobby.  I’ll probably never again have that feeling of things yet to be seen and done, mysteries yet to be uncovered and explored, at least not with this particular hobby.  But reading something like Kazan, I’m reminded of those times with great intensity.

There’s also the setting.  I have a soft spot for huge, wasteland vistas.  As much as I can recognize that, say, The Weathering Continent is not really a good movie, I still find myself drawn to its world.  This extends into video games as well.  One of the things I loved most about Shadow of the Colossus (either version) was simply wandering its world.  Something about characters surviving in such a hostile, sometimes even decaying environment just grabs my imagination and runs with it.  But I’m picky about these kinds of stories, too.  I prefer my environments and my characters to look and sound and act a certain way.

Despite the inescapable influence of personal appeal, though, I still honestly think Kazan holds up, and is very much worth a read.  It’s not going to be the easiest thing to find, but on the flipside, Kazan was a manga published by a company that never really achieved notability and stayed in business for a grand total of maybe six years at most.  So while the supply has never been very great, neither has the demand.  The prices haven’t gotten exorbitant, and I don’t see that changing in the near future.  

In all, it’s worth the effort to track down if you can.

[danfanciesphil]

Hey, I am looking at doing the Creative Writing MA in Paris,but I was just wondering what it was like in general? Like the modules and how big the course is etc?? It sounds so so good but i'm unsure at the moment if i want to apply. Especially since I'm low on money to pay for tuition... :(

hey! ah i am so pleased to hear you’re considering it! i’ll give you a brief rundown of what the course is like below the cut.

In Term One (Sept - Dec), the modules for Creative Writing are: 

A choice between two compulsory modules:

- Fiction 1 - Poetry 1 

And a secondary module unrelated to the first. I chose to do French Cinema, but there are lots of other options to do with art, literature, and other creative subjects. There should be a module guide on the website as I can’t remember them all. 

I am not interested in poetry, so I chose Fiction 1 and French Cinema. 

In Fiction 1 you get: 

- 3 hours of taught lesson, once a week. So a three hour lecture/workshop.- A reading list of relevant novels relating to the theme of the week. It is expected that you read the novel before your class to prepare. - Each week, a different subject will be introduced. For example, in week one you might focus on character, in week two plot, and so on. - Half of the 3 hour lesson is focused on the lecture (your teacher will introduce the subject, maybe do a presentation, and then you’ll discuss the book). - The second half of the 3 hour lesson is dedicated to workshopping. On top of reading the novel to prepare for the lesson, you are expected to have read the pieces people have submitted (online) for the workshop. You take it in turns to submit something - about 3 people go each week. Everyone will read the submitted pieces, and then discuss it in class. People bring up what they liked, what they didn’t like, and hopefully give some constructive criticism. 

I cannot speak for what you will get from your second module in term one as they are all different, except that you will get:

- 3 hours taught lesson, once a week. - A reading list- Probable access to musuems/cinemas/relevant study spaces

At the end of term one, you will be expected to submit a 7,000 word assignment of creative prose. It can be whatever you like. The deadline is early January. On top of this, there will be another assignment due for your second module - obviously this will vary depending on what module you choose. I had to submit a 4,000 word essay on Feminism in the French New Wave (cinema). 

In Term Two (Jan - May), the modules for Creative Writing are:

- Fiction 2/Poetry 2- Paris: The Residency

You do not get to pick a module in your second term, they are both compulsory. (Sidenote: if you picked Poetry 1 in Term One, then you must pick Poetry 2 in Term Two. You cannot do Poetry and then Fiction or vice versa as far as I know.)

In Fiction 2 you get: 

- 3 hours taught class time once a week- A reading list of relevant novels- The same structure is in place as in Fiction 1 with half workshop half lecture, however the teachers will be different and have very different approaches (which is very helpful imo!) I learnt way more in Fiction 2 than Fiction 1 personally, but I’ve had great teachers in my second term. 

In Paris: The Residency you get:

- 3 hours taught class time once a week- A reading list of relevant novels- A homework task each week to do so that the following week it can be workshopped. Examples of these homework tasks are ‘follow a stranger for ten minutes - discreetly - watching their mannerisms, gait, etc. and write about who they might be’, or ‘try and lose yourself in the streets of the city, then spend fifteen minutes just writing all that you see and hear’, etc. - This module is supposed to be about ‘city writing’, so they want you to write about Paris, or wherever else you feel drawn to city-wise. - I will be honest with you, I really disliked this class. However, I personally didn’t like it because I came on this course to work on and complete my novel (which Fiction 1 and 2 allowed me to do by submitting different chunks of it each week for workshopping and for the assignments), and it seemed a waste of time to be writing silly things about the city each week when I could have been more productive by working on the novel. The class isn’t poorly taught, it just had no relevance to me. I also don’t really enjoy ‘city writing’ as it seems bland, but that’s just a personal preference! Not enjoying this module did not (really) detract from the overall experience of the course, so it was fine. 

At the end of Term Two, you are expected to submit one 7,000 word piece of fiction for Fiction Two, and another 7,000 word piece of fiction (city-themed!) for Paris: The Residency. Ngl, this killed me a little bit, because they’re both due on the same day haha, but I did it! And I did very well, so it is possible. 

After this, you start work on your dissertation. For anyone doing (Fiction, not Poetry) Creative Writing, this is a 12,000 word piece of fiction. It can be whatever you want, but you must pick a supervisor to meet with 3 times before the deadline (met with mine today and she was so super lovely i could kiss her) to make sure you’re on the right track. 

Other Things About The Course: 

- It’s based on a campus that doesn’t belong to Kent University, so we only take up a small section of the building. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it does limit us as students as we aren’t permitted to use all of the classrooms and study spaces. It’s a beautiful building, but it’s very old, and in the winter it was very cold. Having no place to study (there are some but very few) can be a bit of a problem especially in those cold months. In the summer I just sit in the courtyard and work which is d i v i n e. So that’s easier. 

- It’s pretty small, and pretty far away. So, in Term One, there were maybe 30-35 students across the whole course (not just Creative Writing, I mean everyone from Kent University on the Paris campus). The faculty are lovely, lovely people but there are really only 3 of them actually there full-time (yes, really). I have no complaints about these lovely staff, however it does make one feel a little cut off from the main University at times. Frank (who I can absolutely put you in touch with if you need!) is the person to go to with any issues, and I’ve yet to see him not be able to help someone who needs it whether it’s issues with finance, scheduling, contacting staff or whatever. 

- In Term Two (important!), the amount of students studying in Paris DOUBLES in size. This is because Kent also offers a ‘split-site’ MA course in Creative Writing along with a variety of other subjects. Students that opt of the split-site MA spend Term One in Canterbury at the main Kent campus, and Term Two in Paris. This is a tricky thing to get to grips with, mostly because having a bunch of new people try and insert themselves into your established Paris life is tricky to accept. However, we eventually integrated fine, and only a few minor problems occurred. Also, it is important to note that if you were interested in doing the split-site course, there is funding for it if you apply for a Masters Loan. For the solely Paris-based course, there is no funding aside from scholarships. 

- French courses are provided (two hours a week, and you are divided up by existing skill into three different classes). 

- You receive free access to both the BNF and The American Library in Paris which is very, very important as all study material in regular libraries is obviously in French. These two places have study materials in English, which is fantastic. 

- Accommodation is almost impossibly difficult to find, and Kent will be little to no help I’m not even joking. They’ll give you a vague list of places to try, but rent is so fucking expensive here, and if you don’t speak French you’ve basically had it. I can discuss some options with you that worked for me if you give me a private chat message. 

- Don’t expect to be coddled when you get here. I’m quite an independent person, so I didn’t really mind this, but it is in no way similar to the experience I had as a fresher at undergrad. They give you a headstart, some contact information for a local gym, a local bank, etc, but then you are more or less on your own. That sounds pretty daunting but it’s also incredibly freeing and definitely gives you the chance to bond with all your classmates! I’ve made friends for life here (and found a girlfriend) so I do not think this was a bad thing at all. 

That’s pretty much all I can think of to tell you right now! If you have any more specific questions I’d be happy to answer them, and if you decide to go ahead with it let me know as I can give you some tips on how to set yourself up here. 

I wish you the best love, please don’t hesitate to ask me anything more! 

xxx

[wyldlittledog]

15 Random Headcanons

Repost, don’t reblog, 15 random headcanons about your muse.

Tagged by: @moonoverbourbon

Tagging: @fvckthegods, @provemyselfalone, @agonymasked, @thepocketqueer, @xmythikosx, @thewillfulones, @heartoftherhine and anyone else who wants to! Tag me so I see it!

I’ve talked about some of these to some of you before, but here goes. Also, I’m putting this under a cut because I can’t stfu about my child and got wordy (sorry, mobile users).

I headcanon him as largely illiterate in his canon verse. His dominus didn’t need him to be smart, just pretty and obedient. This is one of about two things he has a bit of an inferiority complex about, and one of the reasons he feels he would not be a good leader, though he would never say any of that out loud.  (His reading level obvs varies by verse, but even in his modern college AU, he’d rather do something physical/athletic than read a book he doesn’t have to.)

In spite of the above, he is very intelligent. He’s just far more people smart than bookish. He speaks German conversationally by WotD (my headcanon) and is extremely observant and intuitive.

Spartacus recognized his observant nature early on (probably when he noticed the Roman saw he didn’t have his collar on and immediately took steps to keep them from leaving), and this is one of the reason he seems to often be used as Spartacus’ eyes throughout the series. He’s very often on the wall, or the one who comes running to Spartacus with news about some bullshit or another. lol

He assisted the medicus after he healed from his injury after almost dying on the way back from the mines. This one is actually canon based, because I like to analyze tiny details no one else gives a shit about sometimes. When Oenomaus rises for the first time after they rescue him, Nasir is the first person to greet him on his feet and they share a very warm smile and handshake/arm clasp. Nasir would not have even known Oenomaus prior to him being brought to the temple unconscious. I headcanon Nasir HAD to have assisted the medicus (to pay back the care he was given, imo) to have formed any kind of bond with Oenomaus at all. (Give me an Oenomaus, someone, please.) I also figure he continued to assist the medicus when he was able throughout the war, thought that became less and less as he rose up among Spartacus’ strongest. Still, when Laeta gets speared fleeing Sinuessa with Gannicus and Sybil, it’s Nasir that assesses her wound and says she will live if treated. (Give me Laeta as well, I want her.) He is probably not stitching wounds or preparing concoctions, etc., but he’s got some very basic medical skill/knowledge.

He became the leader of the rebels after the war (post-canon), in spite of not believing he’d be good at it or wanting it. Agron was still badly wounded, and never had the temperament for it anyway. Nasir’s own morality more closely follows Spartacus’ than Agron’s as well. I think leadership defaulted to him, and he likely enlisted the aid of Laeta, and he fucking rocked it. He makes a good leader, if an initially reluctant one. But honestly, aren’t the people who want power the least probably the ones we should be putting in power?

His attack on Spartacus when first freed was as much a suicide attempt as an attempted homicide. He never expected to live through that. He truly believed his life was over, and I headcanon that he spent at least a few days to weeks trying to provoke others during training until someone (probably Agron) said something to him to make him realize his thinking was wrong.

He can’t cook to save his life in any verse (even vamp Nasir, with all that time to kill, just NOPED at me). He’s not a great hunter either, as he’s not great with ranged weapons. But he can skin, clean, and gut any animal you bring him (canon verse).

He’s artistic in every verse (he falls in and out of practice in vamp verse). In modern verse, there’s probably paint on him somewhere at all times. But even in canon, verse? Who do you think painted that serpent on Agron’s shield/sword thing? Not to mention, even coming up with the idea for that weapon was creative af. After the war, he and Agron built him a forge so he could continue the metal work he’d learned, and he took up blacksmithing, both for practical and artistic reasons. He always smells vaguely of smoke and heated metal in my post-war headcanon.

Yes, he and Agron have a goat farm post-canon, but the goats are largely Agron’s. Nasir has his forge, and that’s his domain. He likes the goats, of course, and seeing Agron with them amuses him and makes him happy, but he sometimes threatens to eat them just for shits and giggles.

NSFW-ish: With two exceptions (vamp verse and sex worker verse), he can be extremely modest about sex. That doesn’t mean he won’t be a freak in the sheets with someone he trusts by any means (if he’s allowed you to touch him, don’t ever stop, ffs). It means he requires privacy. He doesn’t want people in the next room to hear him. He can get very flustered if people try to talk about his sex life or the sex life of say, his brother (or, I’m sure, anyone he considers kin). He was basically a sex slave in his canon verse, and as a result does not wish to be “on display” in any way with people he’s not actually intimate with, even just talk. It bleeds into most verses. Though he might occasionally send his girl friends sexual-ish texts (like telling them he’s scrap booking dick pics, for example) if he’s high in modern verse, and Naevia can get him to say stuff he wouldn’t with most. ;)

In any verse Mahdi (@agonymasked) exists in, Nasir has a bit of an inferiority complex about him. It doesn’t matter how much I tell him he’s wrong, he’s pretty convinced Mahdi is the smarter, better brother, even if it’s unlikely he will EVER say those words to any other living soul. It’s probably why he’s so stupidly overprotective (and probably overbearing, sorry Mahdi). He must protect his precious baby brother, and fuck any consequences that come his own way because of it.

He’s never learned to handle his drink. Even in verses where he’s done much harder drugs (sex worker and vamp verse--those are usually he outlier verses lol), he just gets drunk pretty easily. He blames his size, but he knows smaller women who can drink him under the table.

He’s great with kids in every verse. In canon verse, I like to think of him and Agron adopting war orphans when they are ready (or reincarnated versions of siblings, or children from their fallen brothers, lol). I LOVE papa!Nasir plots. Throw them at me, if it makes sense for our muses! Just be aware children’s language can become colorful around Nasir after a while.

I think it goes without saying that I don’t think anything happened between Nasir and Castus. There was no cheating. Nasir probably enjoyed the flattery more than he wished he did, and that was the extent of it. I feel like Nasir defended Castus as hard as he did because he saw something of himself in him. Nasir was once the outsider that Agron and Crixus both wanted dead. Not only was defending Castus the right thing to do, but Nasir had learned from his own experiences about second chances, and about not judging people from where they came from. (More about that in the link for #15.) I can absolutely imagine shipping Nasir with Castus in a world where Agron is not around (for whatever reason), or as a poly ship with Agron. I think there was enough evidence to suggest Agron was coming around where Castus was concerned in canon.

Here’s a long ass meta I wrote ten months ago about Nasir’s relationship with Spartacus.

*collapses*

[justforbooks]

Julian Barnes: my life as a bibliophile.

From school prizes to writing his own novels, the author reflects on his lifelong bibliomania and explains why, despite e-readers and Amazon, he believes the physical book and bookshops will survive.

I have lived in books, for books, by and with books; in recent years, I have been fortunate enough to be able to live from books. And it was through books that I first realised there were other worlds beyond my own; first imagined what it might be like to be another person; first encountered that deeply intimate bond made when a writer's voice gets inside a reader's head. I was perhaps lucky that for the first 10 years of my life there was no competition from television; and when one finally arrived in the household, it was under the strict control of my parents. They were both schoolteachers, so respect for the book and what it contained were implicit. We didn't go to church, but we did go to the library.

My maternal grandparents were also teachers. Grandpa had a mail-order set of Dickens and a Nelson's Cyclopaedia in about 30 small red volumes. My parents had classier and more varied books, and in later life became members of the Folio Society. I grew up assuming that all homes contained books; that this was normal. It was normal, too, that they were valued for their usefulness: to learn from at school, to dispense and verify information, and to entertain during the holidays. My father had collections of Times Fourth Leaders; my mother might enjoy a Nancy Mitford. Their shelves also contained the leather-bound prizes my father had won at Ilkeston County School between 1921 and 1925, for "General Proficiency" or "General Excellence": The Pageant of English Prose, Goldsmith's Poetical Works, Cary's Dante, Lytton's Last of the Barons, Charles Reade's The Cloister and the Hearth.

None of these works excited me as a boy. I first started investigating my parents' shelves (and those of my grandparents, and of my older brother) when awareness of sex dawned. Grandpa's library contained little lubricity except a scene or two in John Masters's Bhowani Junction; my parents had William Orpen's History of Art with several important black-and-white illustrations; but my brother owned a copy of Petronius's Satyricon, which was the hottest book by far on the home shelves. The Romans definitely led a more riotous life than the one I witnessed around me in Northwood, Middlesex. Banquets, slave girls, orgies, all sorts of stuff. I wonder if my brother noticed that after a while some of the pages of his Satyricon were almost falling from the spine. Foolishly, I assumed all his ancient classics must have similar erotic content. I spent many a dull day with his Hesiod before concluding that this wasn't the case.

The local high street included an establishment we referred to as "the bookshop". In fact, it was a fancy-goods store plus stationer's with a downstairs room, about half of which was given over to books. Some of them were quite respectable – Penguin classics, Penguin and Pan fiction. Part of me assumed that these were all the books that there were. I mean, I knew there were different books in the public library, and there were school books, which were again different; but in terms of the wider world of books, I assumed this tiny sample was somehow representative. Occasionally, in another suburb or town, we might visit a "real" bookshop, which usually turned out to be a branch of WH Smith.

The only variant book-source came if you won a school prize (I was at City of London, then on Victoria Embankment next to Blackfriars Bridge). Winners were allowed to choose their own books, usually under parental supervision. But again, this was somehow a narrowing rather than a broadening exercise. You could choose them only from a selection available at a private showroom in an office block on the South Bank: a place both slightly mysterious and utterly functional. It was, I later discovered, yet another part of WH Smith. Here were books of weight and worthiness, the sort to be admired rather than perhaps ever read. Your school prize would have a particular value, you chose a book for up to that amount, whereupon it vanished from your sight, to reappear on Lord Mayor's prize day, when the Lord Mayor of London, in full regalia, would personally hand it over to you. Now it would contain a pasted-in page on the front end-paper describing your achievement, while the cloth cover bore the gilt-embossed school arms. I can remember little of what I obediently chose when guided by my parents. But in 1963 I won the Mortimer English prize and, being now 17, must have gone by myself to that depository of seriousness, where I found (whose slip-up could it have been?) a copy of Ulysses. I can still see the disapproving face of the Lord Mayor as his protectively gloved hand passed over to me this notoriously filthy novel.

By now, I was beginning to view books as more than just utilitarian, sources of information, instruction, delight or titillation. First there was the excitement and meaning of possession. To own a certain book – one you had chosen yourself – was to define yourself. And that self-definition had to be protected, physically. So I would cover my favourite books (paperbacks, inevitably, out of financial constraint) with transparent Fablon. First, though, I would write my name – in a recently acquired italic hand, in blue ink, underlined with red – on the edge of the inside cover. The Fablon would then be cut and fitted so that it also protected the ownership signature. Some of these books – for instance, David Magarshack's Penguin translations of the Russian classics – are still on my shelves.

Self-definition was one kind of magic. And then I was slowly introduced to another kind: that of the old, the secondhand, the non-new book. I remember a line of Auden first editions in the glass-fronted bookcase of a neighbour: a man, moreover, who had actually known Auden decades previously, and even played cricket with him. These facts seemed to me astonishing. I had never set eyes on a writer, or known anyone who had known a writer. I might have heard one or two on the wireless, seen one or two on television in a Face to Face interview with John Freeman. But our family's nearest connection to literature was the fact that my father had read modern languages at Nottingham University, where the professor was Ernest Weekley, whose wife had run off with DH Lawrence. Oh, and my mother had once seen RD Smith, husband of Olivia Manning, on a Birmingham station platform. Yet here were the ownership copies of someone who had known one of the country's most famous living poets. Further, these books contained Auden's still-echoing words in the form in which they had first come into the world. I sensed this magic sharply, and wanted part of it. So, from my student years, I became a book-collector as well as a book-user, and discovered that bookshops weren't all owned by WH Smith.

Over the next decade or so – from the late 1960s to the late 70s – I became a tireless book-hunter, driving to the market towns and cathedral cities of England in my Morris Traveller and loading it with books bought at a rate that far exceeded any possible reading speed. This was a time when most towns of reasonable size had at least one large, long-established secondhand bookshop, often found within the shadow of the cathedral or city church; as I remember, you could usually park right outside for as long as you wanted. Without exception these would be independently owned shops – sometimes with a selection of new books at the front – and I immediately felt at home in them. The atmosphere, for a start, was so different. Here books seemed to be valued, and to form part of a continuing culture.

By now, I probably preferred secondhand books to new ones. In America such items were disparagingly referred to as "previously owned"; but this very continuity of ownership was part of their charm. A book dispensed its explanation of the world to one person, then another, and so on down the generations; different hands held the same book and drew sometimes the same, sometimes a different wisdom from it. Old books showed their age: they had fox marks the way old people had liver spots. They also smelt good – even when they reeked of cigarettes and (occasionally) cigars. And many might disgorge pungent ephemera: ancient publishers' announcements and old bookmarks - often for insurance companies or Sunlight soap.

So I would drive to Salisbury, Petersfield, Aylesbury, Southport, Cheltenham, Guildford, getting into back rooms and locked warehouses and storesheds whenever I could. I was much less at ease in places that smelt of fine bindings, or that knew all too well the value of each item of stock. I preferred the democratic clutter of a shop whose stock was roughly ordered and where bargains were possible. In those days, even in shops selling new books, there was none of the ferociously fast stock turnaround that modern central management imposes. Nowadays, the average shelf-life of a new hardback novel – assuming it can reach a shelf in the first place – is four months. Then, books would stay on the shelves until someone bought them, or they might be reluctantly put into a special sale, or moved to the secondhand department, where they might rest for years on end. That book you couldn't afford, or weren't sure you really wanted, would often still be there on your return trip the following year. Secondhand shops also taught the lesson of the writer who has gone out of fashion. Charles Morgan, Hugh Walpole, Dornford Yates, Lord Lytton, Mrs Henry Wood – there would be yards and yards of them out there, waiting for fashion to turn again. It rarely did.

I bought with a hunger that I recognise, looking back, was a kind of neediness: well, bibliomania is a known condition. Book-buying certainly consumed more than half of my disposable income. I bought first editions of the writers I most admired: Waugh, Greene, Huxley, Durrell, Betjeman. I bought first editions of Victorian poets such as Tennyson and Browning (neither of whom I had read) because they seemed astonishingly cheap. The dividing line between books I liked, books I thought I would like, books I hoped I would like and books I didn't like now but thought I might at some future date was rarely distinct.

I collected King Penguins, Batsford books on the countryside, and the Britain in Pictures series produced by Collins in the 1940s and 50s. I bought poetry pamphlets and leather-backed French encyclopaedias published by Larousse; cartoon books and Victorian keepsakes; out-of-date dictionaries and bound copies of magazines from the Cornhill to the Strand. I bought a copy of Sensation!, the first Belgian edition of Waugh's Scoop. I even made up a category called Odd Books, used to justify eccentric purchases such as Sir Robert Baden-Powell's Pig-Sticking or Hog-Hunting, Bombadier Billy Wells's Physical Energy, Cheiro's Guide to the Hand and Tap-Dancing Made Easy by "Isolde". All are still on my shelves, if rarely consulted. I also bought books it made no sense to buy, either at the time or in retrospect – like all three volumes (in first edition, with dust-wrappers, and definitely unread by the previous owner) of Sir Anthony Eden's memoirs. Where was the sense in that?

My case was made worse by the fact that I was, in the jargon of the trade, a completist. So, for instance, because I had admired the few plays of Shaw that I'd seen, I ended up with several feet of his work, even down to obscure pamphlets about vegetarianism. Since Shaw was so popular, and his print-runs accordingly vast, I never paid much for any of this collection. Which also meant that when, 30 years later, having become less keen on Shaw's didacticism and self-conscious wit, I decided to sell out, a clear minus profit was made.

Occasionally, there were thrilling discoveries. In the back warehouse of F Weatherhead & Son of Aylesbury, I found a copy of the first two cantos of Byron's Don Juan, published without the author's name in 1819. This rare first edition, bound in blue cloth, cost me 12/6d (or 62.5p). I would like to pretend (as I occasionally used to) that it was my specialist knowledge of Byronic bibliography that led me to spot it. But this would have been to ignore the full pencil note from the bookseller inside the front cover ("Cantos I and II appeared in London in July 1819 without the name of either author or bookseller in a thin quarto"). The price of 12/6d therefore couldn't have been an oversight; more likely, it was an indication that the book had been on the shelves for decades.

Just as often, however, I would make serious mistakes. Why, for instance, did I buy, from DM Beach of Salisbury, Oliver Twist in its original monthly parts, as first issued by Bentley's Miscellany? It was a good idea because they were in perfect condition, with fine plates, covers and advertisements. It was a bad idea because one of the parts (either the first or last) was missing – hence the set's near-affordability. It was an optimistic idea because I was sure I would be able to track down the missing part at some moment in my collecting life. Needless to say, I never did, and this idiocy rebuked me from my shelves for many years.

Then there were moments when I realised that the world of books and book-collecting was not exactly as I'd imagined it. While I was familiar with famous cases of book forgery, I always assumed that collectors were honest and straightforward folk (I used to think the same about gardeners, too). Then, one day, I found myself at the Lilies in Weedon, Bucks – "by appointment only" – a 35-room Victorian mansion so stuffed with books that a visit occupied most of the day. Among its first edition section I found a book I had been chasing for years: Evelyn Waugh's Vile Bodies. It lacked a dustwrapper (which was normal – few early Waugh-buyers failed to discard the jackets), but was in pristine condition. The price was … astonishingly low. Then I read a little pencilled note which explained why. It was in the handwriting, and with the signature, of Roger Senhouse, the Bloomsburyite publisher who was Lytton Strachey's last lover. It read – and I quote from memory – "This second impression was left on my shelves in the place of my own first edition." I was deeply shocked. Clearly, it had not been a spur-of-the- moment act. The culprit must have arrived chez Senhouse with this copy concealed about him – I assumed it was a he not a she – then managed the switch when no one was in the room. Who could it have been? Might I ever be tempted to such action? (Yes, I subsequently was – tempted, that is.) And might someone do that to me and my collection one day? (Not as far as I know.)

More recently, I heard another version of this story, from a different point of view. A reader sent a rather famous living author a copy of an early novel of his (one whose first print-run was under a thousand copies), asking for a signature and enclosing return postage. After a while, a parcel arrived containing the novel, duly signed by the author – except that he had retained the valuable first edition and sent a second impression instead.

Back then, book-hunting involved high mileage, slow accumulation and frequent frustration; the side-effect was a tendency, when you failed to find what you wanted, to buy a scattershot array of stuff to prove that your journey hadn't been wasted. This manner of acquisition is no longer possible, or no longer makes sense. All those old, rambling, beautifully-sited shops have gone. Here is Roy Harley Lewis's The Book-Browser's Guide to Secondhand and Antiquarian Bookshops (second edition, 1982) on DM Beach of Salisbury: "There are a number of bookshops on sites so valuable that the proprietors could realise a small fortune by selling up and working from home … While property prices in Wiltshire cannot compare with (say) London, this marvellous corner site in the High Street is an enormous overhead for any bookshop." Beach's closed in 1999; Weatherhead's (which had its own printed paper bag) in 1998; the Lilies – which was full of stray exhibits such as John Cowper Powys's death-mask and "the clock that belonged to the people who put the engine in the boat that Shelley drowned in" – is no more. The bigger, and the more general, the more vulnerable, seems to have been the rule.

Collecting has also been changed utterly by the internet. It took me perhaps a dozen years to find a first edition of Vile Bodies for about £25. Today, 30 seconds with abebooks.co.uk will turn up two dozen first editions of varied condition and prices (the most expensive, with that rarest of Waugh dustwrappers, run from $15,000 to $28,000). When the great English novelist Penelope Fitzgerald died, I decided as homage to buy first editions (with dustwrappers) of her last four novels – the four that established her greatness. This all took less time than it would to find a parking space nowadays near the spot where Beach's bookshop used to exist. And while I could go on about the "romance" and "serendipity of discovery" – and yes, there was romance – the old system was neither time- nor cost-effective.

I became a bit less of a book-collector (or, perhaps, book-fetishist) after I published my first novel. Perhaps, at some subconscious level, I decided that since I was now producing my own first editions, I needed other people's less. I even started to sell books, which once would have seemed inconceivable. Not that this slowed my rate of acquisition: I still buy books faster than I can read them. But again, this feels completely normal: how weird it would be to have around you only as many books as you have time to read in the rest of your life. And I remain deeply attached to the physical book and the physical bookshop.

The current pressures on both are enormous. My last novel would have cost you £12.99 in a bookshop, about half that (plus postage) online, and a mere £4.79 as a Kindle download. The economics seem unanswerable. Yet, fortunately, economics have never entirely controlled either reading or book-buying. John Updike, towards the end of his life, became pessimistic about the future of the printed book:

For who, in that unthinkable future When I am dead, will read? The printed page Was just a half-millennium's brief wonder …

I am more optimistic, both about reading and about books. There will always be non-readers, bad readers, lazy readers – there always were. Reading is a majority skill but a minority art. Yet nothing can replace the exact, complicated, subtle communion between absent author and entranced, present reader. Nor do I think the e-reader will ever completely supplant the physical book – even if it does so numerically. Every book feels and looks different in your hands; every Kindle download feels and looks exactly the same (though perhaps the e-reader will one day contain a "smell" function, which you will click to make your electronic Dickens novel suddenly reek of damp paper, fox marks and nicotine).

Books will have to earn their keep – and so will bookshops. Books will have to become more desirable: not luxury goods, but well-designed, attractive, making us want to pick them up, buy them, give them as presents, keep them, think about rereading them, and remember in later years that this was the edition in which we first encountered what lay inside. I have no luddite prejudice against new technology; it's just that books look as if they contain knowledge, while e-readers look as if they contain information. My father's school prizes are nowadays on my shelves, 90 years after he first won them. I'd rather read Goldsmith's poems in this form than online.

The American writer and dilettante Logan Pearsall Smith once said: "Some people think that life is the thing; but I prefer reading." When I first came across this, I thought it witty; now I find it – as I do many aphorisms – a slick untruth. Life and reading are not separate activities. The distinction is false (as it is when Yeats imagines a choice between "perfection of the life, or of the work"). When you read a great book, you don't escape from life, you plunge deeper into it. There may be a superficial escape – into different countries, mores, speech patterns – but what you are essentially doing is furthering your understanding of life's subtleties, paradoxes, joys, pains and truths. Reading and life are not separate but symbiotic. And for this serious task of imaginative discovery and self-discovery, there is and remains one perfect symbol: the printed book.

• A Life with Books (£1.99) is a pamphlet published by Jonathan Cape to celebrate Independent Booksellers Week and is available exclusively in independent bookshops.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[bairderin96]

Sour Grape Kush Grow Tips Astounding Ideas

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When To Plant Grape Hyacinth Bulbs Uk

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Grape Growing Soil Requirements

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[shelleyseale]

What you need to know about travel refunds during the coronavirus outbreak

I had a trip planned to Ireland this month. I was supposed to be leaving today.

As late as this past Wednesday morning, we were still debating if we should go or not. We didn't want to be too overreactive, yet at the same time we wanted to take proper precautions. We were also very aware of being a responsible traveler, and following recommended protocol for containment. In the end, we decided that between the iffiness of flights getting canceled or possible quarantines that would strand us, along with the recent US ban on return travel from Europe — along with the conviction that unnecessary pleasure travel was irresponsible in terms of potentially contributing to the spread (even unintentionally) were too many variables. So we cancelled. Obviously, in the last three days since making that decision, we have been wondering what would happen to our airline tickets (which were on Norwegian and RyanAir). We kept checking the airlines' websites, and on March 12 finally got emails from both of them stating that our travel could be rebooked for a later date, with no change fees. This is generally the case now with most airlines, and many hotel chains or booking sites are following suit in light of the global coronavirus. Companies like Airbnb and VRBO have issued travel statements. With that in mind, we've found some resources that can help you navigate changed and cancelled travel plans, and give you the information you need during the COVID-19 outbreak.

Airlines

At the moment, the only way to get a full refund from the airlines is if the airline itself outright cancels your flight. Well-known travel expert Christopher Elliott, author of “How To Be The World’s Smartest Traveler” (National Geographic) and the Monday Travel Troubleshooter column in the Seattle Times, wrote a recent article at that newspaper with a lot of great information. Christopher says, "Unless your air carrier cancels your flight, you may have to pay a change fee and fare differential if you have a nonrefundable ticket. But during the coronavirus crisis, airlines are relaxing some of their rules." As mentioned, we found that to be the case with our flights - the airlines offering a one-time, no-fee change. It seems in the past few days that most major airlines are doing the same. Look on their website for this information, or in emails you've received about your flight. If you don't see a policy or this subject addressed, send them an email or Tweet their customer service account. Conde Nast Traveler has an excellent, complete guide to the various airlines' refund policies.

Car Rentals

Most car rentals are fully refundable, unless you've booked one of those prepaid rentals to get better rates, generally through sites like Priceline or Hotwire. In that case, you would have to negotiate to get your money back. I personally think it's worth reaching out to them. Many companies are making exceptions and relaxing the rules due to this global pandemic.

Cruise Lines

Refund rules can vary. For a cruise two months or more from now, you may lose your deposit. If you’re closer to your sailing date, Elliott says you may lose 75% or more of your fare. If the cruise line cancels, you get a full refund. "The amount of your refund depends on the type of ticket and how much time you have until you cast off," Elliott wrote. "Although cancellation policies are generally similar, they are not identical." However, like airlines (and many other travel companies), many cruise lines are making exceptions and offering no-cost changes. And, of course, if the cruise line itself cancels your journey, you get a full refund.

Hotels

Hotel refund policies vary widely. If you booked a refundable rate, you can get your money back. If you saved money by booking a fully prepaid discount rate, you may not get your money back unless the hotel closes or cancels your reservation. "Most hotels refund your entire stay if you cancel 48 hours or more before your arrival, but resort stays and all-inclusives can have more restrictive terms," Elliott says. "You have to read cancellation policy terms carefully. There’s no one-size-fits-all policy — it varies by hotel and hotel chain." With hotels, you get what you negotiate. Hotels and resorts aren’t as strict about refunds because generally, it’s a far more competitive industry than airlines. As always, make sure you get everything in writing when you negotiate a waiver. Hotels, like other travel companies, sometimes forget what they promise. So if you’re wondering if you can get your money back if you cancel your vacation, there’s a chance your hotel will have to look up the answer or pass your inquiry to a supervisor for consideration.

Vacation rentals

Policies vary widely. If you've booked directly with an individual owner, reach out to them and see if you can come to an agreement for rebooking at a later date, or a full or partial refund. If you've booked through a platform like Airbnb or VRBO, things may be a little different. These platforms are also creating and updating new policies in relation to the coronavirus. Check out VRBO’s refund policies here. Review your reservation to get the details. They also have an area with specific information regarding COVID-19. Airbnb has a variety of refund policies, including viral outbreak. These cases require a “special review” by Airbnb, meaning that you may or may not be able to get your money back. Review Airbnb's extenuating circumstances policy for the coronavirus (COVID-19). Generally, hosts in a city that’s under quarantine at the time of your stay will not force you to follow through with your visit. If they do, you can always appeal to your booking platform.

Tours

They can be complicated since there are various components — each with its own refund rules. Generally, if your tour operator cancels, everything gets refunded. If that's not the case, check their website for an updated policy, or reach out and ask.

Travel insurance

Travel insurance isn't a guarantee that you'll get reimbursed. There are very specific conditions and requirements for coverage, so check your policy thoroughly. You must cancel for a covered reason listed in the plan document. If you have a "cancel for any reason" policy, you may very well be covered. Some of the major travel insurance carriers are instituting special policies for this case. Allianz Travel, for example, has said that if your travel supplier cancels your trip because of coronavirus or if you’re traveling to China — and no claim has been filed under the plan — you can get a refund or shift your coverage to a different date.

Just Ask! And Get it in Writing!

If you aren't sure about your booked travel, or the policy is stating no refunds, my advice is to simply reach out to the provider and just ask. Obviously, right off the bat mention "due to the global pandemic and recent travel bans..." I think that many operators, particularly larger ones, are falling in line to make exceptions. This is a truly unique time, both with travel and the world in general. If you ask, you just may very well get either a refund, or a no-fee change or voucher for future travel. Of course, some small operators will have great difficulty doing this, and it's understandable. This  current, almost ground-to-a-halt travel industry has had disastrous impacts on very small inns, private Airbnb or vacation rental owners, individual and small tour operators and guides, etc. It could put them out of business, so unless you're going to be out a huge sum of money, maybe think twice about asking for a refund. Try to at the very least just ask to rebook for a later date. If you have paid a large sum of money, maybe ask for a partial refund. I know it never feels good to lose money, but small operators are really hurting too — and in the end, huge fallout in the travel industry will hurt us all. Lastly, email is the preferred way to inquire and receive such exceptions, because it is in writing. SAVE THE EMAIL! There is a huge amount of communication and confusion going on right now, and with potential lay-offs, certain employees may not even be there later. ALWAYS get it in writing and save the communication. If you must speak to someone on the phone (i.e. if you haven't received a response to your email on time), record the conversation just to be safe. And speaking of safety, please keep yourself safe during this time. Namaste, Shelley Read the full article

[foundcarcosa]

ccvi.

What kind of pants did you wear today? >> Lounge pants, I guess they’re called.

How old is your television? >> I don’t know. A few years old, I assume.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? >> Two laptops.

When did you last talk on the phone with someone? >> I don’t remember.

Are you currently sleepy? >> No.

Do you own any television series box sets? >> I don’t.

Have you ever been in a fight with your best friend? >> I can’t even imagine what would prompt Can Calah and I to ever fight with each other. There’s nothing to fight about.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? >> Whenever the last time Sparrow hugged me was.

Was the last movie you watched a horror film? >> It was. (The Void.)

Do you own a lot of tee shirts? >> More than is necessary, certainly.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? >> No.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? >> No.

Would you say you’re a bad influence on others? >> That’s not something I know how to determine. I’d imagine my influence varies depending on the influenced.

Do you handle pain well? >> The nature of the pain determines how well I handle it. I’m usually inclined to stoicism in the face of pain, but some kinds of pain override that pretty quickly.

Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? >> No. I can’t even comprehend that.

Where is your favorite place to go when you’re depressed? >> To bed.

In high school, were you in trouble a lot? >> I wasn’t in trouble a lot, but I was in the guidance counsellor’s office more often than I’d have liked to be.

Do you enjoy your hairstyle? >> Meh. It needs to be cut again.

Do you have long hair or short hair? >> Quite short.

How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? >> None.

Do you have a leather jacket? >> I have a mock-leather jacket.

Do you have weak upper body strength? >> Somewhat, yeah. I was stronger when I was transient and had to carry my life on my back.

Do you think hugs are awkward? >> “Awkward” isn’t the word I think of, no.

Do you think facial hair is gross? >> It’s gross when it is unkempt and unwashed.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? >> Sure.

What color was the last cup you drank from? >> Black. It has Captain Phasma on it.

Have you ever been to the zoo before? >> Yes.

What instruments do you know how to play? >> None.

How late did you stay up last night? >> Not too late. I think I went to bed between midnight and 1a EST.

How late do you plan on staying up tonight? >> I have no idea. I don’t think about it too much; I just go to bed when I feel ready to do so.

Have you ever done hard drugs before? >> A few.

Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? >> I don’t know. If so, I didn’t notice (or find it weird).

Do you own a Snuggie? >> I don’t.

What is your favorite band of all time? >> I suppose the best candidate for that role is Pearl Jam, considering how long and how consistently I’ve loved them.

Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? >> Of course. If I had the money for one.

Are there any paintings on your wall? >> No paintings, no.

What movie did you last watch with someone? >> The Dark Tower.

Are you afraid of airplane rides? >> Not at all. I love flying.

What do you think is the best smell in the world? >> I can’t possibly determine that.

If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? >> I don’t feel like getting up to find out, but I’m about 85% done with We Need To Talk About Kevin.

Do you think people are intimidated by you? >> I’ve been told as much by a variety of people over time.

Do you have a job you like? >> ---

Have you ever lived with a roommate before? >> I’ve only not lived with roommates once in my life, and I was too depressed to enjoy it.

Do you like candles? >> I sure do. I’m very specific about scents, though.

What is something you lose often? >> Lip balm. But I usually find it eventually.

What will you be doing in the next ten minutes? >> Still working on this survey, most likely.

How many scarves do you own, if any at all? >> Three or four, I think.

Where did you last sleep? >> In bed.

Do you have Netflix? >> Yes.

Do you enjoy dancing? >> I sure do.

Do you ever go shopping with your parents (not including grocery shopping)? >> Not since I left my parent’s home.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? >> No.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. >> I’ve had it twice. What’s to describe, other than the distinct impression that one is constantly and inconclusively expelling their entire bodily mass from both ends of their gastrointestinal tract...?

Have you ever read anything by Chuck Palahniuk? What did you think? >> I read Haunted, and one other, I think. It was a long time ago, so not only have I forgotten what I thought, it is probably different than what I’d think if I were to read them again now.

How do you tend to amuse yourself on long car journeys? >> Reading, thinking, looking out of the window, napping, or listening to music or podcasts.

Do you find that caffeinated or alcoholic drinks make you pee more than normal? >> No. If I do pee more than normal while drinking, it’s because I’m consuming more liquid in a short period of time than I normally would be. Simplest of cause/effect relationships.

How often do you need to charge your phone and iPod (on average)? >> Once a day, or once every other day.

Do you still enjoy watching Disney movies? >> Almost all of the Disney movies I’ve seen were as an adult, so.

What are some interests you have in common with your parents? >> My father is creative in a DIY sort of way, and I share that interest. He also enjoys history, as do I (although our specific historical interests differ). We both like to explore, and take different paths (in more ways than one).

How old were you when your parents trusted you to stay home alone all day? >> I don’t think I’ve ever had that privilege in my entire time under his roof.

If you could go to one country for two weeks, all expenses paid, where would you go and why? >> Iceland. Why not?

Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? >> I don’t put any stock in the “recommended” amount of daily water intake. I drink as much as I care to, and don’t worry too much about it.

Do you like taking walks? >> Sometimes.

What do your parents think about piercings and tattoos? Do you agree with them? >> My father doesn’t care for tattoos or piercings anywhere but the ears. I obviously do not share this distaste in the slightest.

What are your religious beliefs? Are these the same as your parents’? >> My father and I are both independent and syncretic seekers.

Do you find it difficult to get to sleep early when you have to be up for something the next day? >> In general, I find it difficult to force sleep when I am not sleepy, yeah.

Who has more influence over your taste in music - friends or family? >> Er...

Do you crave alone time, or are you someone who loves being around other people a lot? >> I require a substantial amount of alone time; if that is given, then I find that I am definitely more willing to socialise with others when the opportunity arises.

Are you one of those people who texts back instantly >> Yes.

Assuming money wasn’t an issue, what car would buy right now, given the chance? >> Anything by Tesla Motors.

Do you think going to college/university is the best option after you’ve left school? >> For some students, I’m sure it is. Not for every student.

Is it easy to sleep late in your house, or are other people pretty noisy in the mornings? >> Sparrow works nights, so it’s definitely quiet in the mornings, since she’s asleep.

Do you prefer watching movies alone or with other people? >> I usually watch movies alone, but they can be fun with others as well. It really depends on the company, their movie-watching habits, and the movie itself.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? >> Considering “full price” doesn’t always suggest quality in this country, I’m always skeptical about paying full price for anything.

You have 5 minutes - grab 3 snacks from the grocery store. What are they >> That would obviously depend on what grocery store I’m in.

Dancing, acting, and singing - which two are you best at? >> Singing, then dancing.

Deep fried Oreos & deep fried pickles - would you try either? >> Hell no. I’d rather starve.

Do you remember how old you were when you found out where babies come from? >> I don’t remember. I read books about that sort of thing rather early, because I was curious.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. >> Smart and funny. Those two things secured, other desirable traits tend to come along for the ride.

Snow or sand? Soda or juice? Cake or cookies? Royalty or immortality? >> Snow. Juice. Eugh. Immortality.

Which is more important to you: make-up or hair? >> Er... important in what sense...?

For an entire month would you rather have a unibrow or no eyebrows at all? >> I really don’t care.

What is one tradition that you and your family have? Do you enjoy it? >> ---

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? >> I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not 100% clear on what “being used” looks or feels like.

You can go back in time & change something in your Mom’s past - what is it? >> ---

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? >> I mean, probably. I don’t know the sizes of everyone I know.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? >> Yes! I wasn’t scared because that’s not the sort of thing I’d be frightened by, but it was very fun and engaging.

Money doesn’t matter - choose a vacation destination and pick your party: >> Yawn.

Who is the last person you talked badly about behind their back? >> Sigma, probably, in venting.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? >> I don’t care what he sees. We’re both adults.

Flip your arm over - can you see your veins? >> I usually can’t see my veins, except for the one that pops up in the crook of my right elbow. A phlebotomist’s answered prayer, that one.

Pick a movie at least 5 years old that you absolutely love: >> Uh... Event Horizon.

Apparently, you can’t tickle yourself. Do you think that’s true? >> I have no reason not to accept it as truth.

Do you ever buy snacks at the movie theater? What do you get? >> No.

When was the last time you had to jump? >> I don’t remember.

At what time does it start getting dark where you live? >> At this time of year, sunset is around quarter to nine.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? >> Worse, meaning...?

Peanut butter VS. Caramel - which side are you on? I like peanut butter but I largely dislike caramel.

Have you ever complained to a manager about anything? What was it? >> I haven’t been in that position that I can remember, no.

Any idea where the shirt you’re wearing was made? Take a guess. >> I’m going to guess China.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? >> It depends in which way they were intensely religious. I would not marry a fundamentalist of any religion, or anyone with strict legalist ideas. But passion is perfectly acceptable.

[perpetually-jungshook]

How to Care for Your Werewolf

(Without You: Bloodstone lore post)

Word Count: 1.6k

Find the series here (Bloodstone Masterlist)

I still severely dislike the word “lore” because it makes me sound so pretentious haha sorry. Also, I had some fun writing this, so please read it as humorous.

Hello! And welcome to the comprehensive guide to all things werewolf. Here, I, Professor Dr. Totally Know What I’m Talking About will be teaching you everything you need to know about this marvelous species.

First, a disclaimer: While werewolves make for fun, loyal companions, they not for everyone. Recreational ownership often requires secret permits dispensed by your local government and knowledge or training beyond that received by the average person. This guide does not serve as either and should be read as a supplementary text. Side effects of werewolf ownership may include but are not limited to: scratches, light to heavy bruising, loss of limbs, severe anxiety, social estrangement from other humans, and death.

Now, a bit of background.

History:

Werewolves, the lupine gene being passed along hereditarily, have been around for millennia living alongside humans for one reason: to protect us from malicious spirits (see my pamphlet “Demons and You” for more information). As no one knows the exact date the first idiot decided to summon one, the precise origin of the spirits and werewolves are a bit unclear.

All that can be said is as the demons developed, so did the wolves- the earth’s natural immune response. Sadly, wolves have been invisible throughout most of history, appearing only occasionally as dog headed humans in glyphs or mysterious creatures in folklore. Only recently has the epidemic of “evil” spread throughout their image.

Humans were inevitably the cause, commanding wolves that had imprinted upon them (see below for details) to do atrocious things. Physical violence toward humans is practically nonexistent in this lupine species, as it was specifically created to protect us.

However, the command of one person to inflict damage on another (or the tendency to violently protect the imprintee) has been the cause of many fatal incidences, branding the wolves as malicious creatures themselves. Recently, because the presence of demons has been steady- some may argue increasing- the werewolf population has been pulled into hiding by governments for protection and conservation.

Confined in underground bunkers or nameless buildings, the wolves are now captives and are hated by the humans they only seek to protect.

General Werewolf Maintenance:

If it is easier for you, imagine your wolf as a dog- a seven to nine foot tall (2.1-2.7 meters for those of you using the metric system), could crush you instantaneously kind of dog.

Werewolves require all the hygienic care and mental stimulation of the average human. Thankfully, when in human form, these are easy to administer and facilitate as the wolf will be able to consciously, sentiently take care of themselves as long as the tools are provided.

However, they do require vast amounts of training and exercise, anywhere from 3 to 4 hours per day (see below for more information). If this is not met, one can expect depression, anxiety, and misbehavior among other things. So be sure to make time for it in your busy schedule!

The First Two Months (Imprinting & Consciousness):

Most people prefer their werewolves fresh after the first transformation, typically occurring at age 20 for reasons yet unknown. This allows for what we call “imprinting.”

Imprinting is characterized simply as “implicit trust.” The first humanoid thing (be it a wolf or actual human) the werewolf smells will be subject to this completely platonic form of bond. Having this kind of connection with ANOTHER, OLDER WOLF is often optimal for proper behavioral and physical development. This obviously makes keeping up with a demanding exercise routine easier.

However, in recent years a trend has been developing in which owners prefer to have exclusive control and command over wolves’ loyalty, and protection. I only recommend this type of relationship for experienced handlers.

Now, as this is not a biology textbook I will skip extraneous details, but after the first transformation, the wolf may require an extensive resting period. Every bone, muscle, hair follicle, and internal membrane must expand, stretch, or otherwise adapt to accommodate the massive, highly sensitive body of the wolf. This is compensated for by their quick healing, but it only occurs in their lupine form. Keener hearing, smell, or sight may be observed in the human form, but as per usual, almost none of the size, speed, or other physical features will remain. Still, this rapid change in anatomy will manifest in the form of bruises, aches, and additional non lethal injuries, the severity of which will vary between individuals.

It is common for newly transformed werewolves to change spontaneously several times. It is not something they can control, but they should be continuously monitored for the first forty eight hours or so to prevent injuring themselves or damaging property.

As this is no doubt exhausting for the wolf, expect a period of 12-24 hours of continuous deep sleep. During this entire (approximately) 72 hour period, he or she will usually not eat or drink. This is also normal as their body undergoes these biological changes. Expect some immediate weight loss, but this will be regained within the following week or two. (See my companion book “Dieting Dos and Don’ts for Werewolves” for further feeding and cooking instructions).

The term “feral” must now be addressed. During the first few months, it is imperative to understand that while the wolf will follow the imprintee’s commands, they do not have control and will not have a memory of actions they perform. This is one of the most dangerous, vulnerable periods for a werewolf. They are subject to PURE INSTINCT.

Being feral does increase efficiency, especially in regards to the wolves’ primary function: demon elimination. However, fatal accidents are most common during this time when both werewolf and handler are inexperienced (returning to a feral state once consciousness is achieved is also dangerous, but the trainer will often have better control at that point).

Being feral is characterized by the trademark amber irises. While subject to this condition, the wolf WILL attempt to kill anything IT perceives as a threat to it’s imprintee (true or not). Isolation with the imprintee comes highly recommended until aggression subsides and consciousness during transformation is achieved.

Baby-Proofing (Objects & Situations to Avoid):

After a few weeks, most wolves will have gained relative command of their transformations. They may not achieve true self control until months later, but they will cease to spontaneously change to their lupine form.

A werewolf with full control may transform on command, but (with no exceptions) each is at the mercy of a few catalysts- at least to a degree. High amounts of stress, anxiety, irritation, or anger may break those with even the best composure.

If he or she is part of a pack, the aggravation of one member will release pheromones that strongly urge the transformation of the rest, with or without a tangible threat.

There are also external forces that can contribute to a relatively spontaneous change.

Certain alignments of celestial bodies will cause emotional sensitivity- especially and most commonly the phenomenon that produces the full moon.

Other objects have been known to have an emotional and hormonal impact. The easiest to find are silver, mistletoe, and the bloodstone (see attached list at back of guide for other items).

Silver: this is a material that is particularly DANGEROUS. It is the only thing that can pierce the skin of a wolf post-transformation. It is a common misconception that wounds inflicted by silver will not heal. This is incorrect. The precious metal simply makes it more DIFFICULT. The cut will need to be repaired while in human form, giving way to the slower healing process.

Mistletoe: this type of plant is a repellent. It does not have the same affect as silver. The SMELL of the plant is repulsive to werewolves, but will not deter them completely. Imagine how kimchi smells. It’s like that, but a feeling, more tingly.

Bloodstone: while this stone, scientifically known as Heliotrope, is often said to have “magical” soothing properties such as calming and healing, it has quite the opposite impact for our lupine companions. Not enough research has been done to confirm any one theory, but the most popular one stands as “the emotion altering quality of the stone disrupts energy flow within the werewolf and his or her body will react naturally to the disturbance by transforming.” (Note: It is not known to cause premature transformations, this phenomenon has only ever been observed when the wolf in question is in close proximity to demons)

Intimate-Bonding:

Are you looking to take your relationship with your werewolf a step further? Purchase my, Professor Dr. Totally Know What I’m Talking About’s third contribution to the wolf community, “In the Mood for Love: Werewolves.”

Blood Wolves:

Not much is known about this species as they are fairly rare. As you already know, most wolves transform from hereditary influences, but there IS a way to ARTIFICIALLY create a werewolf. They have not been studied long enough to determine whether they also pass on the gene, but it has been determined that (as packs are formed via centuries of familiarity between bloodlines) these creatures, recently labeled Blood Wolves, are instinctively rejected by other members. Their scents are not recognized and thus they are often left behind, typically creating hostility that eventually culminates into alienation. For humanitarian purposes, I will not report how Blood Wolves are created. I can only suggest showing them as much compassion as possible.

whoops it looks like this copy of the book was a little damaged. The last few pages seem to be missing.

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Much love ~🐰 xx

[gaparime]

Let's Talk About Gear!

While mental fortitude is ultimately what will make or break your success in completing a long distance hike, gear is equally as imperative. I began my thruhike of the Appalachian Trail by carrying 30 pounds (exactly 30.0 on the scale at Amicalola) and received a shakedown to 20, give or take a few pounds here and there depending on food and water supply, and my replacements/upgrades throughout the first quarter of the trail.

During your planning process for a thruhike or any kind of a long distance backpacking trip, it’s important to remember that there’s usually no right or wrong for good, necessary products. Albeit, you still want to use common sense (buy nice or buy twice, have a properly-fitted backpack, don’t wear cotton, don’t carry too much or too little, don’t buy cheap tents that can’t withstand all weather conditions, et cetera). Otherwise, your backpack and its contents are the oyster that is your world, and it’s your preference that matters the most. This sounds simple enough, but these are things I wish I knew before going into my thruhike.

You may like hammocks more than tents. You may prefer trail runners over boots. You may prefer a Kindle over a paper book, if that’s what you choose to bring as a luxury item. I just so happen to prefer tents, boots, and paper books. It’s okay to prefer hammocks, trail runners, and Kindles because your level comfort is going to be different from every gear list you come across online during your strenuous research. Whatever it may be, you have to test it out and know what works for you. Comfort and practicality are the major keys when it comes to gear for long distance hiking.

I made a lot of changes early on. That being said, I initially didn’t know what worked for me and had to figure it out the hard way. I took someone’s gear list and assumed if they were successful with those items, I’d enjoy them just as much. Wrong. Because of that, I now know exactly what does work after having tried just about everything else. This is why I can safely stress the importance of that, based on my own trials and errors. Replacing gear, especially if you’re getting it mailed to you 100 miles ahead of you, can be a pain in the butt. Trust me, I would know; I had to do this a few times. If there’s any advice you should take from my gear list or someone else’s when you’re preparing to live off of your back for six months, it’s that you really, really need to know what works for you, and then everything else will take care of itself.

For most of the trail, this is what helped me get from Springer to Katahdin. Before reading my list, line the entire inside of your pack with a garbage bag and know that ziploc bags are your friends. You can’t get more waterproof than that, and I happen to be neurotic about waterproofing so I had just about everything organized and protected in stuff sacks/ziplocs. Without further ado:

The essentials (shelter and sleep setup): - Osprey Aura 50 pack. I sent the detachable brain of the pack home because I didn’t need it. Brains only encourage carrying more crap. Should you decide to keep yours, some of the pros are: town purse/bag (since it is detachable), using it as a way of securing your tent/poles/etc, and storing easy-to-reach snacks. I kept my food at the bottom when fully resupplied, so it was easy to unzip and grab my food bag that way. As it got lighter, I’d move my food bag to the top of my pack for equally as easy access. The way you pack your backpack is a matter of preference for what will work best for you, and you’re the only person who can figure that out as you keep going. If something feels uncomfortable, stop and adjust it. Keep adjusting it until you find that perfect balance. All that matters is that the weight is distributed effectively, and that it’s not pulling you back or pushing you down. - Sierra Designs Lightning tent. I used Tyvek as a footprint, which fit just fine folded up in the sack for the tent. It’s cheaper, dries quickly, and works all the same. You’ll see a lot of people on the trail using Tyvek. Regardless of whether or not you choose to use Tyvek or the expensive footprint designed for your specific tent, you need some kind of protection between the bottom of your tent and the soil. This is to prevent rain and moisture from soaking through, and to preserve the condition of your tent. - REI AirRail inflatable sleeping pad. If you’re the type of person who values the quality of sleep, inflatable sleeping pads are worth the few extra ounces as opposed to foam pads. Of all times for mine to pop, it happened in the 100 Mile Wilderness in Maine just days before I finished the trail. By this point, I was pretty careless with where my tent went and it was easy enough to tolerate for the remaining days. You’ll want to camp on the flattest surfaces you can find, free of rocks and roots. I found that I didn’t sleep well on a foam pad, and they’re bulkier. - Mountain Hardware Lamina Z Spark women’s sleeping bag in the dark raspberry color with orange interior. While this wasn’t as warm as I would’ve liked for it to have been, I liked how small it packed, so I made it work for me because that’s where my values were. Sleeping in cold weather was tolerable with all of my clothes on. Depending on the type of person you are, if you’re not like me when it comes to adapting and accepting, then you may not want to use this sleeping bag. There are certainly better options.

Stuff sacks of… well, stuff: *Sea to Summit Ultra-Sil Stuff Sacks* - Food Stuff Sack: Self-explanatory. Amount of food carried = mile calculation to next resupply point. This is something you’ll figure out over time. Your mileage will change per region, thus, so will your food bag. The general rule of thumb is that you should never carry more than 4-5 days of food (with the exception of the 100 Mile Wilderness), and ideally, you want to be able to stroll into town as you’re eating your last snack from the food bag. I also kept my lightweight metal spork in my food bag, too. The longer the handle, the better; it’s easier to stir your food, especially for freeze dried meals. - Toiletry Stuff Sack: Compact tampons, travel sized toothbrush and paste, ibuprofen in a ziploc (note: ibuprofen is like candy for hikers- I used it for both inflammation and headaches, so I carried a lot of it at all times), small pack of baby wipes (“hiker showers”), small roll of medical tape (preventative blister care), and travel size Body Glide. - Clothing Stuff Sack: This changed with the seasons. I’ll just list everything I had. Before I list them, some important notes: If there was anything I did 100% right, it was preventative blister care and clothes. The key is minimalism. But don’t underestimate the beauty of dry socks and semi-clean undies; they weigh almost nothing and are worth carrying a couple extra of. You should generally have one pair of clothes for hiking and one for sleeping/town. All clothes were a dry fit material. I had a Marmot rain jacket and that stayed rolled up in the front mesh of my pack. I also had a Patagonia sportsbra, but that obviously stayed on me. *Winter/Spring (Georgia to Pearisburg, VA):* leggings, REI pants, Marmot tshirt, REI puffy jacket, long sleeve tshirt, three pairs of Exefficio undies, two pairs of Injinji toe socks, two pairs of Darn Tough socks, Outdoor Research glove liners (edit: I recommend Northface E-Tip gloves over the OR glove liners. Same glove style, but the Northface ones are warmer and a better material. For the most part, the OR liners were fine all on their own, except for one time when I was in the Smokies and it was 11 degrees and super windy), and a beanie. *Spring/summer (Pearisburg, VA to Hanover, NH):* Mountain Hardware shorts, Patagonia tshirt (eventually switched it out for a Northface shirt but that’s neither here nor there; point is, 1 tshirt at a time), a random tank top I found at Walmart in Pearisburg (usually wore the tank top for hiking and tshirt for sleeping/town), same three pairs of Exefficio undies, same Injinji and Darn Tough socks. I got the same things back in Hanover, NH that I used for Winter/beginning of Spring, and threw away the shorts/tank top. Ignore the rumors to send your winter gear home in Damascus. Seriously, don’t do that; everyone who did was really, really mad at themselves for it. It still gets cold on Mt Rogers (VA’s highest peak) and through Grayson Highlands. Somewhere in Vermont is usually a good time to get your winter gear back, but Hanover, NH (barely) worked for me. I had some issues with package timing, otherwise, I would’ve had them back in mid Vermont. - Electronic Stuff Sack: Anker battery bank, cord for phone, cord for battery bank, and an Apple USB adapter for my iPhone/Anker charger. I kept all of this inside of a ziploc inside of the stuff sack to ensure no water damage.

In between my stuff sacks: - Camp stove/pot/fuel. Kept stove and mini fuel canister inside of pot. All lightweight choices: MSR pocket rocket stove, GSI minimalist hallulite pot, and fuel canister brand varied depending on what was available at resupply points. Fuel is fuel, brand doesn’t matter. - Toilet paper in a ziploc. - Journal, pen, and stamps in a ziploc. - Paracord for hanging food bag. - My favorite luxury item: Sea to Summit inflatable pillow. It’s light, and you’ll thank yourself when you wake up well-rested every morning. You can get by just as well with using your clothing stuff sack as a pillow, but I am such a princess when it comes to sleep.

Side Mesh Pockets: - (2) 1L Smartwater bottles. Replaceable at any grocery or convenient stores, but if you’re gross like me, you’ll carry them for a long time before doing that. Carried a 3rd bottle through the Midatlantic because most water sources dry up. (PA, NJ, and NY). If you’re not carrying these from the beginning, at some point, you’ll notice most hikers around you are and then you’ll never look back at your Nalgenes or Platypus bottles. - Aquamira drops in a ziploc. Aquamira drops are in two 1-ounce bottles, part A and part B. The directions are directly on the bottles, and they’re easy to use/resupply with. - **This is super important. This is the lightest possible way to carry water and treatment. I tried a Sawyer Mini, and then a heavy Katadyn pump. I also had Platypus bottles, but they’re awkward to fill. I’ll never use anything other than Smartwater bottles and Aquamira for treatment.**

Front Mesh Pocket: - Aforementioned Marmot rain jacket rolled up. - Pack cover rolled up. - Headlamp. This is a 100% needed item, no matter which one you choose. Batteries can be resupplied; no need to carry extras unless you’re night hiking often. I night hiked often in the Midatlantic because of the brutal heat, so I definitely had backups then. - Bug net. Unless you enjoy prying about 15 dead bugs out of your eyeballs in the summer per day, you’ll appreciate having one. I should’ve had one much sooner than I did. - Trowel. Don’t be that person that leaves your poop close to the trail or a shelter. Bury it with a lightweight trowel. I stepped in someone’s poop once nearby a shelter, and I think that was understandably the angriest I was at any point during my hike. - Cheap sunglasses. Sunglasses aren’t necessary, but I like ‘em. I used them all the time through the open, rolling fields in VA-PA. - Travel size sunscreen. I eventually threw it away, but I needed it for a while. My Irish skin is quite fair. - Drink mix packets. These are also not necessary, but plain water does get boring after a while. Hawaiian Punch and Arizona Green Tea packets are delicious.

Side hip belt pockets: - Cell phone. - Earbud headphones. Be careful with headphones on the trail. I almost stepped on a huge rattlesnake curled up in the middle of the trail because I didn’t hear it while I was hauling ass and blasting music at full volume (I have a video to prove this story). They also make it difficult to hear if anyone is coming up behind you. - Lighter with a little bit of duct tape wrapped around it. - Needle and thread to repair tears on my pack. - Small knife. I am a huge fan of cheese, and that’s pretty much the only purpose I used it for. - Pepe the plastic dinosaur. My fiancé gave me this stupid little green dinosaur, and I just wanted to be able to say a dinosaur made it across the country. - ID, insurance card, debit and credit cards, and cash in a ziploc.

Hanging from the outside: - AT 2016 tag. - Crocs. - Bandana, off of one of the loops where the shoulder straps is. This is another must-have for me. I used it mostly to wipe sweat off, but it came in handy when I needed to give myself a “hiker shower” with just water in a stream, or the two times I got sick on the trail. I simultaneously hiked and blew infinite amounts of snot into it. (Yes, I washed it in towns before switching up its uses.)

Trekking poles: - Leki. Don’t ask me which ones because I don’t know, haha. They’re green and black. You can’t go wrong with any type of Leki poles.

Mode of transportation: Shoes - Superfeet insoles. Replaced them per every pair of shoes. - Keen boots (Georgia to Daleville, VA) - Salomon trail runners (Daleville, VA to Delaware Water Gap) - Oboz hiking shoes (Delaware Water Gap to Katahdin). These were my favorite. They were lightweight and like a combination of boots and trail runners (the best of both worlds). Very durable. Could’ve lasted longer than Katahdin, but they smelled like death so it was time to say goodbye.

Guidebooks: - Used both Awol and Guthook on my phone. Awol is available PDF and Guthook is an app. Both serve different purposes. Awol is good for knowing exactly what’s around the trail/in town/maps of towns/detailed descriptions of those places. Guthook is a GPS based trail guide that is perfect for the trail itself, and it’s pretty much idiot-proof (unless you’re me). It doesn’t require cell phone service, and you’ll know where you are at all times (although I somehow still managed to get horrendously lost twice; hence, the “unless you’re me” part). Another cool feature is that it allows you to comment on any listed waypoint, and the comments upload once you have service or Wifi. This comes especially in handy for planning ahead with water sources. If you’re the first person to notice a listed source is dry or almost dry, be a pal and leave a comment. Those behind you will love you.

[lilac-milk-moon]

How to Avoid Financial Failure to Launch

Note from Mr. SR: Recently, one of the top media complaints about people in their 20s and 30s is that they’re not moving out on their own. A USA Today article shares that “for the first time in 130 years, young adults ages 18 to 34 are more likely to be living at home with their parents than with a romantic partner.”

I don’t have kids yet, but I’m excited to share this post written by my friend Brian from Debt Discipline.

Whether you are the parent of a young adult or you yourself are are trying to launch, this article will share some practical tips — for both your finances and your relationship with your parents.

Have you heard the phrase “failure to launch” before? I’m sure you have, there was a $100 million-grossing movie, starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker of the same name. If you are a parent, you might be thinking about how it relates to your kids.

No parent wants their child to experience the failure to launch and end up living in their basement until they’re thirty-five. Failure to Launch is a common way to describe a young adult who is struggling with the transition to adulthood. It’s often defined as an inability to leave home and support oneself.

One of the common reasons a young adult fails to launch is because of money. Lack of it or not knowing how to manage it. Many parents want to soften their child’s entry into the real world, but at what cost? Do they work more, delay retirement, skimp on savings?

Parents want the best for their kids, but not by sacrificing their own futures. The phenomenon of failure to launch is so rampant that several treatment programs have been developed to help address it. I’m not sure if a costly program is needed unless you are genuinely dealing with a medical condition.

Let’s breakdown some of the ways you can prevent the failure to launch syndrome from occurring.

Techniques to overcome failure to launch

Finding passion

It mind sound a bit cliche, but young adults need passion in their lives. In fact, we all need a bit of it. Passion combats failure to launch by letting us be participants rather than observers. Passion comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t necessarily need to be your job. You may find passion in helping others, cooking, music, art, a particular career field, sports, chocolate, video games, movies, etc. The list is almost endless.

The key is to harness that passion and let it help drive and motivate you. As parents, we can be supportive of a child’s passion. We need to reinforce the idea that life is not about “likes” on a social media platform, but about real, meaningful connections to people and activities.

If all else fails in discovering your passion, you might want to try the opposite, by listing all the things you hate doing. By systemically eliminating these things from your life, you will be left with only the things you enjoy doing. This is an excellent exercise for someone struggling to find their passion.

Financial literacy

Let’s face it. We use money in all of our lives. But only 1/3 of states require their students to graduate having taken a personal finance class. Formal education is just one way we increase our knowledge. A lot is learned from family and friends too.

Failure to launch into what has recently been coined “emerging adulthood” has a lot to do with money. Children learn by example, so it essential to be a good one and involve them in money discussions. Money shouldn’t be a taboo topic. If you’re bad with money, how do you think your children are going to handle it?

Sure there are exceptions, but most will fail too. Financial literacy needs to start with you. There are plenty of books, blogs, and podcast to help you increase your financial IQ if you need help. In turn, you can better prepare your kids. Involve them in age-appropriate topics. If you ever want a captive audience, talk to them about smartphones. They are always interested in getting the latest and greatest model.

Teach them about costs

You can explain the cost of a new device, your choices for paying for it (in full or payment plan), the reoccurring charges each month, and how many hours someone would have to work to covers these costs you’ve just successfully navigated a money conversation with your child.

Taking a money discussion further, does your child know how much you make? What your rent or mortgage costs? Discussing these real-life examples helps them better understand money and what things cost and how to pay for them.

As a teenager, with a part-time job and driving a car are two great opportunities for preparing them for their financial futures, and avoiding failure to launch. Review their paycheck and taxes. Give them the challenge to save, spend, and give a portion of their income. A car is another teachable money moment. The overall cost to own, maintain, insurance, and gas it to keep it running.

These examples are all thing adults handle regularly, but as pre-adults, we probably don’t care about them at all. That was one of the benefits of being a kid, no adult responsibilities. But if these details are always hidden and never discussed, how would we ever be able to handle them when presented?

Avoiding debt

Debt is a four letter word for a reason. Starting your financial life with debt is an apparent reason why emerging adults fail to launch into financial adulthood. Debt causes stress. Debt causes fear. It causes fights. Being in debt limits your options.

Would any of us want to have these restrictions in our lives? Now consider your young adult trying to balance these with a new job and social life it could be overwhelming. It’s essential to stay within your means while supporting your young adult. You do not want wat to sacrifice your financial future or lifestyle by taking on debt for someone else, even your children.

One of the biggest drivers of debt for young adults is student loans. As of 2018, 69% of college students took out student loans, and they graduated with an average debt of $29,800. Ouch! That’s a significant number looming over anyone head.

A college degree doesn’t have to be a debt death sentence. A degree can be obtained with little or no debt if you get creative.

A Side Note: Some of you reading this may already be deep into debt. There are resources available to help. You must be careful of debt consolidation services and the like. You need to know what you’re getting into; and that it will benefit you, not the company allegedly trying to help.

College without debt

Here are five ways to get through school without student loans (or minimal debt):

1. Make the most out of high school

High school offers several ways to get a head start on your college degree. Advanced Placement (AP) are college-level classes you can take in high school and earn future college credit for completing. Most colleges will accept these classes and credits if you score a three or above on AP final exam. This is an excellent way to earn college credit in high school at the cost of an AP exam.

High Schools often offer college-level classes through a partnership with a community college or a local University. These classes allow high school students to earn college credits at a reduced rate. CLEP (the College-Level Examination Program) is another way for students to earn college credits inexpensively. CLEP offers 33 exams that cover intro-level college course material. With a passing score on one CLEP exam, you could earn three or more college credits.

2. Understand the ROI of your degree

What’s the income and job opportunity in your field when you graduate. Don’t borrow $160K for a degree that has the income earning power of $40k per year. You don’t have to kill your dream, and can still follow your passion but find colleges that are cheap to attend.

3. Stay local

Community college is an affordable option and a springboard to larger universities. Attending a community college for the first two years of college life save a ton of money. Many community colleges act as feeder schools for four-year universities.

4. Work

You are going to need to work during college to avoid debt later. A part-time job during the semester help keep sending money in your pocket. A full-time summer job allows you to save for expenses like books and materials. Check with your employer to see if they offer student loan assistance too, many do.

5. Become a resident assistant (RA)

Becoming an RA has its benefits when living on campus. Many colleges offer free room and board if you become an RA. Your responsibilities as an RA will vary, but often an RA helps enforce the rules and policies of residence life, housing and dining services, and the university. Taking on these responsibilities can save you thousands of dollars a semester.

Now student loan debt is only one form of debt someone may encounter. Car loans and credit cards are typical debts too. The idea is the same with those debts. You want to minimize and avoid altogether if possible. Just follow the general rule of living within your means and using cash.

Tough love

If all of your parenting and coaching fails to help your young adult launch, more drastic measures may be needed to push them toward independence. Tough love is often the category this type of parenting falls into. Tough love’s end game is ultimately the person’s welfare. If a child is unable to launch, you may need to enforce stricter boundaries. If they fail to take responsibility for their actions, a clear consequence must occur.

It’s painful to watch someone you care for fail and have to face the consequences, but sometimes it the jolt of reality they need. Enforcing a curfew, deadlines, schedule, etc. may be the structure they need to be successful. You do not want to continue to enable someone who is facing a failure to launch.

Pitching in

Although we want our children to move out, live on their own, and be successful, there could be some benefit for their extended stay at home. Set clear expectations, like pitching in with house chores, including cleaning and cooking. This work helps build some skills they will need on their own.

Consider charging them rent. It’s another one of those items they will need to handle on their own someday. It’s money that you can choose to save for them, so they have a cushion when they finally launch. It could be about spending some extra quality time with your child. Having them living at home gives you the undivided opportunity of their time. Once they are out of the house, they may not always be available. This time might help you develop a deeper relationship.

Have an exit strategy

In any of these steps of overcoming a failure to launch, you need to have clear communication with your child. They need to understand how long or how much support you are will to give. Setting these clear expectations helps them plan for their exit. It doesn’t mean that once they move on that emotional or moral support will stop. You might stay on as their financial accountability partner to help guide them with their money. You may offer resources like books or articles they could read to increase their knowledge on a particular topic.

The key is to have them understand that even though your monetary support has ended, you are always available for a talk or questions. This might be the safety net they need to launch successfully. As parents, we should fulfill our parental responsibility. We need to teach our kids to function independently and raise a person who contributes to society. It doesn’t mean we need to support them financially forever.

Final Word

We all want to live a balanced life. As a parent, we often experience peaks and valleys in our own life. Many factors can contribute to what can feel like a roller coaster ride: things like our work, health, loss, and stress are just a few. As our children grow and experience these things for themselves, we need to help guide them, and let our own experiences act as an example. They will experience speed bumps along the way, and it’s our job to help smooth them out, but eventually, they need to navigate on their own.

This post was written by Brian from Debt Discipline. It originally appeared on The Money Mix and is re-published here with permission.

The post How to Avoid Financial Failure to Launch appeared first on Semi-Retire Plan.

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[douchebagbrainwaves]

THE OTHER CATCH IS THAT SEQUOIA GETS ABOUT 6000 BUSINESS PLANS A YEAR AND FUNDS ABOUT 20 OF THEM, SO THE ODDS OF GETTING THIS GREAT DEAL ARE 1 IN 300

5% an offer of 6. A startup is not merely ten people, but ten people like you.1 A couple weeks ago I was walking along the street in Cambridge, and in practice they are usually interchangeable. You do tend to win in the market to give Microsoft control of the PC standard. You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway. Which is not to say you have to like making up elaborate lies. From that point, all Microsoft had to do without. Also, technical advances tend to come from unorthodox approaches, and small companies are less constrained by convention. They grab your sleeve as you're staring at your phone and say will you play with me? 064. They'd probably vary in size by orders of magnitude.2 This is part of what makes them good hackers: when something's broken, they need to have any particular expertise to have opinions about it.

Plenty of things we now consider prestigious were anything but at first. Belonging to such a group becomes part of your identity: name, age, role, institution. Except this is not a fixed amount of wealth in the world. I say up. And you can't go to and say, I'd like to start working ten times as hard, so please pay me ten times as hard, so please pay me ten times as hard, and get paid a lot more, than they would for themselves, simply because, as parents, they share risks more than rewards. When you try to guess where your program is slow, and what would make it faster, you almost always guess wrong.3 So most people pre-emptively lower their expectations. In that situation, even the CEO. It is just as well to let a big company is not afraid to be sued; it's an everyday thing for them. Suppose you own a beat-up old car.4 Imagination is hard to measure, but in practice it dominates the kind of productivity that's measured in lines of code.

Their size makes them slow and prevents them from rewarding employees for the extraordinary effort required. You'll end up doing something chosen for you by your parents, or the company will be able to say, at the end, wow, that's pretty cool. The ball you need to keep your eye on here is the underlying principle that wealth is what people want, companies that move things also create wealth.5 And when they work at home, or come in early or late or on a weekend, when no one else is there. Take away the incentive of wealth, no one knows, including him.6 Startups usually involve technology, so much so that the phrase high-tech startup is almost redundant. Ultimately you always have to guess. And this is not as much fun, and you get paid accordingly, but you can't evade the fundamental conservation law. They just represent a point at the far end of the spectrum, the availability of teaching jobs is the draft, and that hasn't been invoked for over 30 years. You can't say precisely what the miracle will be, or even frivolous.7 A friend of mine who is a quite successful doctor complains constantly about her job.

As I've written before, one byproduct of technical progress is that things we like tend to become more addictive. And while it's impossible to say what is a lot or a little of a continuous quantity like time, 8 is not a boss you can escape by starting your own company. You have to be small? Cobol or Java being the most popular language can be misleading. So a company that found a way to get rich, and this essay is not to explain how to create a stampede, but merely to explain the forces that have them in their grip, so I sat down and wrote a web browser that didn't suck a fine idea, by the way, the world would be that much richer. He was standing in Robert Morris's office babbling at him about something or other, and I remember standing behind him making frantic gestures at Robert to shoo this nut out of his office so we could go to lunch. Certainly Bill is smart and dedicated, but Microsoft also happens to have been the beneficiary of one of the first things he'll ask is, how much risk you can stand the risk. So maybe hacking does require some special ability to focus. The antidote is people. So don't underestimate this task.

It works well for Google and ITA, which are two of the hot spots right now, but it is the same. Once you acknowledge that, you stop believing there is nothing to buy, it wouldn't matter how much money you had. An energetic rower would be encouraged by the thought that he could have a visible effect on the speed of the galley down.8 I remember watching what he did one long day and estimating that he had added several hundred thousand dollars to the market value of the work done by small groups. You also need to be in a random corporate job. Not everything in Simula is an object. And if they can't, they may simply violate it and invite you to sue them. Common Lisp: There are too many dialects of Lisp. What made the Florentines rich in 1200 was the discovery of shipbuilding and navigation techniques that enabled them to dominate the seas of the Far East.

I was walking along the street in Cambridge, and in someone's trash I saw what appeared to be a good pitcher. I'm claiming you could be called. At Viaweb we had one programmer who was a sort of Valley within the Valley, lightning has a sign bit. But after the habit of doing things well.9 But getting bought is getting them to act.10 They like reading novels. You think you can always write that book, or climb that mountain, or whatever, and then at every decision point, take the harder choice.11 That's been a reliable way to get rich, is not just that line but the whole program around it. And of course if Microsoft is your model, you shouldn't be looking for companies that hope to win by writing great software, but through brand, and dominating channels, and doing the right deals.

Notes

But it's telling that it refers to features you could probably improve filter performance by incorporating prior probabilities. I think the usual way will prove to us that we wrote in verse, it is the valuation of the proposal. But you couldn't possibly stream it from a few months later. What he meant, I have to get the money they're paid isn't a picture of anything.

Corollary: Avoid becoming an alcoholic. I replace the actual amount of material wealth, the whole fund. Naive founders think Wow, a player who persists in trying such things can be more linear if all you have a moral obligation to respond gracefully to such changes, because by definition this will give you term sheets.

It was common in, we used to build little Web appliances.

He adds: I once explained this to users than where you get to be secretive, because those are probably not far from the formula. The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rate is 10%, moving to Monaco would only give you 11% more income, they can do to get into that because server-based applications. Maybe not linearly, but rather that if a third party like YC is involved to ensure none of your mind what's the right way.

Compromising a server could cause such damage that ASPs that want to keep the next year they worked. And since everyone involved is so hard on the process of selling things to the average startup. Another advantage of startups have over established companies can't simply eliminate new competitors may be one of these people make up their minds, they say that Watt reinvented the steam engine.

After Greylock booted founder Philip Greenspun out of just assuming that their prices stabilize. 94. I worry we may be the model for Internet clients too. I said by definition this will be on demand, because universities are where a lot is premature scaling—founders take a conscious effort to make that leap.

Like the Aeneid, Paradise Lost is a rock imitating a butterfly that happened to get users to do.

Labor. Acquirers can be a few months by buying their own itinerary through no-shop clause.

Doing Business in 2006, http://paulgraham. This is not just on the LL1 mailing list. Some VCs will offer you an asking price.

Chop onions and other vegetables and fry in oil, which is all about hitting outliers, are better college candidates. Make it clear when you say something to bad groups is that if they ultimately choose not to stuff them with you, you may get both simultaneously. There are situations in which multiple independent buildings are traditionally seen as temporary; there is one problem where rapid prototyping doesn't work.

When that happens, it will almost certainly overvalued in 1999, it often means the investment market becomes more efficient, it sounds. It's more in the press when I was there was a sort of things economists usually think about so-called lifestyle business, or some vague thing like that. 17 pilot in World War II had disappeared.

[meraenthusiast]

8 Ways Young Adults Can Avoid “Failure to Launch”

How to Avoid “Failure to Launch” into Financial Adulthood

[Editor’s Note: Today’s article is a guest post from Brian over at Debt Discipline]

Have you heard the phrase “Failure to Launch” before? There was a $100 million-grossing movie, starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker of the same name. If you’re a parent, you might be thinking about how it relates to your kids.

No parent wants their child to experience the failure to launch and end up living in their basement until they’re thirty-five. (Dave Ramsey calls these “boomerang kids“)

Failure to Launch is a common way to describe a young adult who is struggling with the transition to adulthood. It’s often defined as an inability to leave home and support oneself.

One of the common reasons a young adult fails to launch is because of money. Lack of it or not knowing how to manage it. Many parents want to soften their child’s entry into the real world, but at what cost? Do they work more, delay retirement, skimp on savings?

Parents want the best for their kids, but not by sacrificing their own futures. The phenomenon of failure to launch is so rampant that several treatment programs have been developed to help address it. I’m not sure if a costly program is needed unless you are genuinely dealing with a medical condition.

Let’s breakdown some of the ways you can prevent the failure to launch syndrome from occurring.

Techniques to Overcome Failure to Launch

1) Finding Passion

It mind sound a bit cliche, but young adults need passion in their lives. In fact, we all need a bit of it. Passion combats failure to launch by letting us be participants rather than observers.

Passion comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t necessarily need to be your job. You may find passion in helping others, cooking, music, art, a particular career field, sports, chocolate, video games, movies, etc. The list is almost endless. (This is how people find their side hustles.)

The key is to harness that passion and let it help drive and motivate you. As parents, we can be supportive of a child’s passion. We need to reinforce the idea that life is not about “likes” on a social media platform, but about real, meaningful connections to people and activities.

If all else fails in discovering your passion, you might want to try the opposite, by listing all the things you hate doing. By systemically eliminating these things from your life, you will be left with only the things you enjoy doing. This is an excellent exercise for someone struggling to find their passion.

2) Financial Literacy

Let’s face it. We use money in all of our lives. But only 1/3 of states in the U.S. require their students to graduate having taken a personal finance class. Formal education is just one way we increase our knowledge. A lot is learned from family and friends too.

Failure to launch into what has recently been coined “emerging adulthood” has a lot to do with money. Children learn by example, so it essential to be a good one and involve them in money discussions. Money shouldn’t be a taboo topic. If you’re bad with money, how do you think your children are going to handle it?

Sure there are exceptions, but most will fail too. Financial literacy needs to start with you. There are plenty of books, blogs, and podcasts to help you increase your financial IQ. In turn, you can better prepare your kids. Involve them in age-appropriate topics. If you ever want a captive audience, talk to them about smartphones. They’re always interested in getting the latest and greatest model.

3) Teach Them About Costs

You can explain the cost of a new device, your choices for paying for it (in full or payment plan), the reoccurring charges each month, and how many hours someone would have to work to covers these costs you’ve just successfully navigated a money conversation with your child.

Taking a money discussion further, does your child know how much you make? What your rent or mortgage costs? Discussing these real-life examples helps them better understand money and what things cost and how to pay for them.

As a teenager, a part-time job and driving a car are two great opportunities for preparing them for their financial futures, and avoiding failure to launch. Review their paycheck and taxes.

Give them the challenge to save, spend, and give a portion of their income. A car is another teachable money moment.

Discussions could be centered around:

overall cost to own

maintenance

insurance

gas

These examples are all thing adults handle regularly, but as pre-adults, we probably don’t care about them at all. That was one of the benefits of being a kid; no adult responsibilities.

But if these details are always hidden and never discussed, how would we ever be able to handle them when presented?

4) Avoiding Debt

Debt is a four letter word for a reason. Starting your financial life with debt is an apparent reason why emerging adults fail to launch into financial adulthood. Debt causes stress. Debt causes fear. It causes fights. Being in debt limits your options.

Would any of us want to have these restrictions in our lives? Now consider your young adult trying to balance these with a new job and social life. It could be overwhelming. It’s essential to stay within your means while supporting your young adult.

You don’t want wait to sacrifice your financial future or lifestyle by taking on debt for someone else, even your children.

One of the biggest drivers of debt for young adults is student loans. As of 2018, 69% of college students took out student loans, and they graduated with an average debt of $29,800. Ouch! That’s a significant number looming over anyone’s head.

A college degree doesn’t have to be a debt death sentence. A degree can be obtained with little or no debt if you get creative.

A Side Note: Some of you reading this may already be deep into debt. There are resources available to help. You must be careful of debt consolidation services. You need to know what you’re getting into; and that it will benefit you, not the company allegedly trying to help.

5) College without debt

Here are five ways to get through school without student loans (or minimal debt):

a. Make the most out of High School

High school offers several ways to get a headstart on your college degree. Advanced Placement (AP) are college-level classes you can take in high school and earn future college credit for completing. Most colleges will accept these classes and credits if you score a three or above on AP final exam.

This is an excellent way to earn college credit in high school at the cost of an AP exam. High schools often offer college-level classes through a partnership with a community college or a local University. These classes allow high school students to earn college credits at a reduced rate.

CLEP (the College-Level Examination Program) is another way for students to earn college credits inexpensively. It offers 33 exams that cover intro-level college course material. With a passing score on one CLEP exam, you could earn three or more college credits.

b. Understand the ROI of your degree

What’s the income and job opportunity in your field when you graduate. Don’t borrow $160K for a degree that has the income earning power of $40k per year. You don’t have to kill your dream, and can still follow your passion but find colleges that are cheap to attend.

c. Stay local

Community College is an affordable option and a springboard to larger Universities. Attending a community college for the first two years of college life can save a ton of money. Many community colleges act as feeder schools for four-year universities.

d. Work

You’re going to need to work during college to avoid debt later. Trust me, it won’t kill you! A part-time job during the semester helps to keep spending money in your pocket. A full-time summer job allows you to save for expenses like books and materials. Check with your employer to see if they offer student loan assistance too.

e. Become a Resident Assistant (RA)

Becoming an RA has its benefits when living on campus. Many colleges offer free room and board if you become an RA.  Your responsibilities as an RA will vary, but often an RA helps enforce the rules and policies of residence life, housing and dining services, and the University. Taking on these responsibilities can save you thousands of dollars a semester.

Student loan debt is only one form of debt someone may encounter. Car loans and credit cards are also common debts associated with college students. The idea is the same with those debts. You want to minimize and avoid altogether if possible. Just follow the general rule of living within your means and using cash.

6) Tough Love

If all of your parenting and coaching fails to help your young adult launch, more drastic measures may be needed to push them toward independence. Tough love is often the category this type of parenting falls into. Tough love’s end game is ultimately the person’s welfare. If a child is unable to launch, you may need to enforce stricter boundaries. If they fail to take responsibility for their actions, a clear consequence must occur.

It’s painful to watch someone you care for fail and have to face the consequences, but sometimes it’s the jolt of reality they need. Enforcing a curfew, deadlines, schedule, etc. may be the structure they need to be successful. You do not want to continue to enable someone who is facing a failure to launch.

7) Pitching In

Although we want our children to move out, live on their own, and be successful, there could be some benefit for their extended stay at home. Set clear expectations, like pitching in with house chores, including cleaning and cooking. This work helps build some skills they will need on their own.

Consider charging them rent. It’s another one of those items they will need to handle on their own someday. It’s money that you can choose to save for them, so they have a cushion when they finally launch.

It could also be about spending some extra quality time with your child. Having them living at home gives you the undivided opportunity of their time. Once they are out of the house, they may not always be available. This time might help you develop a deeper relationship.

8) Have an Exit Strategy

In any of these steps of overcoming a failure to launch, you need to have clear communication with your child. They need to understand how long or how much support you are willing to give.

Setting these clear expectations helps them plan for their exit. It doesn’t mean that once they move on that emotional or moral support will stop. You might stay on as their financial accountability partner to help guide them with their money. You may offer resources like books or articles they could read to increase their knowledge on a particular topic.

The key is to have them understand that even though your monetary support has ended, you are always available to talk or questions. This might be the safety net they need to launch successfully. As parents, we should fulfill our parental responsibility. We need to teach our kids to function independently and raise a person who contributes to society.  It doesn’t mean we need to support them financially forever.

Final Word

We all want to live a balanced life. As a parent, we often experience peaks and valleys in our own life. Many factors can contribute to what can feel like a roller coaster ride; things like our work, health, and stress are just a few.

As our children grow and experience these things for themselves, we need to help guide them, and let our own experiences act as an example. They will experience speed bumps along the way, and it’s our job to help smooth them out, but eventually, they need to navigate on their own.

The post was expertly crafted for and originally appeared on The Money Mix and was written by Brian from Debt Discipline.

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