#reader is dumb

[pretentiousgayguyidk]

mf said he knew a spot then took me to the interrogation room

This has been sitting here for a while but it made me giggle again so now here I am.

(Name) was an idiot, to put it simply. Oblivious, and more brawn than brain; yet he still managed to be a part of Bonten's upper echelon, only due to his impeccable fighting skills. He was often sent out to take care of worms within Bonten, and the others usually had to clean up after him to make sure he didn't get caught. (Name) was an idiot.

Yet, despite his unimpressive intellect, he had been boasting about his cute date for the past week. He's been head over heels because of this guy, and none of the admin could get (Name) to spit out who it was. He'd often say something along the lines of, "hey he's mine, back off" or "what... You jealous?".

They weren't jealous in the slightest, they just wanted to be sure that he didn't end up spilling information... Mikey would hate to put down his second favorite idiot.

Either way, (Name) happily sat at the meeting spot for his date; checking his watch every few minutes till he is eventually approached by his date. Tall slender and handsome, yet visibly tired at all times. That was his date, Naoto Tachibana.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, (Name)." Naoto states with a sheepish smile, offering his hand - which (Name) eagerly takes into his own.

"Oh no, I wasn't waiting long... Don't worry." He chimes with a smile, walking alongside Naoto towards Naoto's car.

Naoto opens the door for (Name), smiling sweetly before shifting over to the other side - sliding into the driver's seat. Once situated, he drums his fingers against the wheel before turning towards (Name).

"I know a place, I'll take you there..."

That's how (Name) ended up handcuffed and in an interrogation room, sulking and pouting at the betrayal. He really thought they'd hit it off, but nope... Naoto was just a really smart cop, and (Name) was just... (Name).

"I already know you work for Bonten, tell me what you know and I'll take you out on an actual date." Naoto bribes... In turn, earning all of the information (Name) had on Bonten - along with complaints about his coworkers.

It really was such a shame, Mikey really did like (Name) - but his latest mess was too much to clean up, and Mikey didn't need a repeat...

[dxddyspup]

thinking about being married to john price

like he hates wearing clothes. and he hates seeing you wear clothes. his baby is so pretty why must there be something covering her up?

so he usually sits around the house shirtless with a pair of sweatpants. he would never tell you what to wear because he values you too much BUT you notice when you only wear a big shirt (one of his) and panties theres a look in his eye thats different than at other times.

theres so domestic about him seeing you do dishes with your cute little ass peaking out from under the shirt. or when you lean down to get the food out of the oven and he almost faints.

john price is so in love with his woman...

[moonlightrafe]

⋆₊˚⊹♡

“Who is this gorgeous blonde in the front here?” Sabrina asks as the camera pans directly to Drew, showing him on the big screen on the stage. To no surprise, the crowd erupts into screams— no doubt the loudest screams heard all night.

“Ohhh,” Sabrina drawls seductively, “hey!”

You watch intently as Drew waves at her and you can’t help but blush watching her twirl the pink, fuzzy handcuffs around her delicate finger. The group of girls seated by you two are squealing and giggling loudly. You’re buzzing with excitement and you’re not sure who you’re more jealous of: your boyfriend or Sabrina.

“Well, this is kind of awkward,” she continues, “I’m not really into kooks…”

You didn’t know it was possible, but the sea of screaming girls gets even louder.

“If only there was a beautiful girl from the cut here,” she jokes with a pout, leaving you in awe; you weren’t even aware she watched the show, let alone knew the lingo. That’s when the camera instantly pans to you and Drew takes a step back, pointing at you enthusiastically.

“No way,” Sabrina begins, “there is!”

“What’s your name?” she asks you.

“Me?” You question, feigning innocence, “y/n!”

“Oh my God, my clothes just fell off, y/n! I was thinking about us,” she giggles into the mic while the intro to “Juno” begins to play.

“Will you be my Juno girl, y/n?” she asks as she passes the handcuffs to be given toyou.

You nod your head with enthusiasm as the crowd cheers and the lights begin to dim. Drew is back behind you again, his full weight pressed against you and his breath hot on your skin.

“Whatever position she chooses at the end, we’re doing it.”

You didn’t even know he knew about that. Tonight was full of surprises.

“Drew—” you giggle as he playfully grabs at your waist.

“I’m serious,” he says as his hand moves down to smack and squeeze the swell of you ass.

Best night ever.

[shotmrmiller]

roommate soap who catches you masturbating because nothing else quite takes the edge off like a little death or two but instead of looking surprised and pivoting, he stands there and looks perturbed.

yer doin' it all wrong, lass. it's no wonder ye always strung tight.

you go from mortified to insulted in seconds, but before you can even snarl at him to leave, he's already dragging his big ass boyfriend in the room, still fully appalled at how you're mistreating yourself.

got tae see this, simon. appalling, it is.

and now you're being manhandled into different positions, toys long abandoned for thick fingers and coarse palms, lube replaced with spit and they'd left you with the destabilizing knowledge that the first peak they'd brought you then had been humiliatingly fast and efficient and somewhere along the way, fingers had been replaced with tongues.

(that you had to almost crawl yourself to the bathroom after your long nap and they hadn't even fucked you is embarrassing.)

[lxnarphase]

stupid, dumb, mutually drunk sex between you and sukuna after toji drops you both off at home. the poor man had to keep yelling at sukuna to stop trying to fuck you in the back of his car and eventually had to pull over and had you sit in the front while sukuna moped in the back. such a loser

but when you both get inside, you literally stumble into the bedroom, falling on the bed in a heap of giggles and messy, uncoordinated kisses.

“ew, kuna, you taste like tequila!”

“i know, ‘m tryna wash it off with your taste, stupid”

then when he’s trying so hard to put his dick inside you, he just…keeps missing and you aren’t helping with your endless giggles and squirming.

“s-stop laughing, I’m gonna miss again”

“i-i cant, this ‘s so stupid, h-hehe! jus’ put it—ah…”

“all it took was was some dick t’ shut you up, huh?”

he doesn’t fuck hard, he doesn’t have the coordination too, just slow deep thrusts that have you both moaning and cooing silly little flirts and praises to the other.

hell, you fucking fall asleep in the middle of it and he’s trying to hard not to burst out laughing at the whole situation. but then, 3 minutes later he’s rolled over on his side with his arms wrapped around you, snoring in your ear, dick still buried inside.

you both are just so silly and dumb, a perfect match for each other

[lovelyghst]

ghost and his horrible habit of falling asleep on your tummy, using it as a comfy pillow after going down on you for the past hour, maybe two. you keep telling him you need to clean up but he promises he’ll do it for you later, just let him bask in the quiet moment for a few more minutes… until you go to poke him five minutes later and he’s out cold.

it’s your fault for being so damn kindhearted and sweet on him!! scratching the back of his head and neck as you praise him for how good he made you feel, your doughy thighs squishing his temples so soothingly, grounding him back on earth so effortlessly. you’re his favorite safe-space, and your gentle breathing once you’ve finally come down from the high he gave you is simply far too welcoming for him to not be tempted. even if you do manage to wake him up soon, it’s still some of the best sleep in his entire, rugged existence.

[issues4him]

cop!rafe gives dumb!reader a warning (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

summary: officer cameron has had quite the uneventful night. he’s told to park on a quiet backroad to speed trap, but ends up making a stupid girl give him head instead of making her pay her ticket!

cw : smut, 18+, flirting, teasing, breast play, blowjob, reader is stupid and flirty, she’s a bad driver, lots of ‘like’

a/n : cop!rafe has a 70’s porn stache and that’s final! also i didn’t proof this very well sooooo sorry. also send me hc’s for cop!rafe and dumb!reader if you like them paired together!

officer cameron’s mouth opened wide as he yawned, rubbing his face with his hand. earlier that night he was called to bust a group of teenage delinquents that were t-p’ing their teachers’ home. ‘just go home, guys’ he told them, hands positioned at the top of his vest—and anticlimactically enough, they did, without much fuss.

his second dispatch of the night was at a run-down gas station just outside of town. the cashier, an older, frail-looking man had called 911 in hopes for the cops to detain the homeless man that was loitering out front. rafe explained to the clerk that he wasn’t able to arrest the homeless man because he wasn’t technically doing anything illegal.

“sir, in the state of north carolina its not illegal for him to sit outside a public building. unless you have a no loitering sign posted out front, which,” he glanced toward the two double, glass doors for a moment, “…it looks like you don’t have.” the older man gave him a glare and muttered, “ain’t no wonder why crime rates is goin’ up—they got pretty boys who don’ know nothin’ ‘bout anythin’…”

that was 2 hours ago.

rafe had been told to ‘speed trap’ on a dark, secluded backroad just north of town. he’s been sitting in his black suv for two hours doing absolutely nothing because no one comes down this road anymore. he was most-likely going to bust a couple of horny high-schoolers who parked on the side of the road to have sex—that’s probably about as entertaining as his night will get.

‘there’s jack shit goin’ on…’ he thought to himself before his tired eyes fluttered shut and the back of his head hit the seat. the soft singing voice on the radio was like a lullaby to his exhausted mind, as his breathing slowed and head began to droop to the side.

CLUNK!

the car jolted foward.

“what the fuck!—“ he shouted, his hand already gripping the handle of his door as he twisted around to look behind him. the red glow of his taillights illuminated the sleek, white bmw that had just plowed into the back of his suv. shoving the door open, he stepped out into the warm september air, his boots crunching against the gravel shoulder as he stomped toward the offending vehicle. he barely had time to process his frustration before he was knocking on the driver’s side window, his patience already worn thin.

“roll down your window.” his tone was sharp, authoritative—ready to chew out whatever dumbass had just rear-ended a cop car in the middle of an empty road. the window lowered with an soft-sounding hum, and rafe’s planned berate died on his tongue as he saw the woman behind the wheel.

big, glossy eyes blinked up at him, framed by your thick lashes. plush, overlined lips wobbled into a pout. long, perfectly curled hair cascaded over your bare shoulders, the strands catching the faint glow of his headlights like spun gold.

you were stunning.

you also looked like you were about to cry.

and the first words out of your mouth?

“omg, i think my car is broken?!” you squealed in a high, valley-girl like voice. rafe exhaled sharply, dragging a hand down his face. it was clear to him that it was going to be a long night.

rafe stared at you, blinking slow like he needed a second to process what the hell he just heard. her car was broken? he resisted the urge to laugh. not because it was funny—because it was so damn stupid that it almost knocked the anger right out of him. almost.

his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he tipped his head toward the crumpled front of your clearly expensive bmw. the left headlight was completely busted, shards of glass littering the pavement, and the front bumper had a nice little dent where it had kissed his suv.

“yeah,” rafe deadpanned, arms crossing over his broad chest. “that tends to happen when you slam into a parked car.” your plump lips parted in an exaggerated gasp, manicured fingers flying to your chest like he’d just accused you of murder.

“i did not slam into you mister,” you insisted, shaking your head, curls bouncing with the motion. “like—ugh! i barely tapped you. my car is literally so sensitive.” you flailed her hands toward the bmw, like it was some fragile piece of art instead of a luxury car you clearly couldn’t drive. “i barely even touched the gas, i swear.”

rafe’s patience was hanging on by a thread.

“you were going fast enough to knock my car forward,” he muttered, glancing back at his own vehicle, which had very much been affected by your little “tap.”

you didn’t acknowledge that. instead, you let out a dramatic sigh, you gaze flickering to him like you’d just now noticed he was wearing a police uniform.

“wait—are you, like, a cop-cop?” you voice was drenched in the kind of obliviousness that only came from never having to deal with consequences. you batted your thick lashes, glossy pink lips curving into something dangerously close to a smile. “oh my god, that’s so funny, i thought you were just, like… a guy in a police car.”

rafe shut his eyes for a second. breathed. counted to three.

it didn’t help.

“license and registration,” he gritted out, reaching for the notepad in his belt.

your face fell.

“wait, no.” you reached out, lightly slapping his forearm with both hands like you were scolding him. “you don’t have to do all that. i mean, look at me!” you gestured to yourself, blinking up at him with glassy, bambi-like eyes. “do i look like a criminal?”

rafe arched a brow. “you look like someone who just crashed into a cop car.” you huffed, crossing your arms in a pout, your cleavage very much on display in the low-cut, hot pink crop top you were barely wearing.

“this is actually, like, so sexist of you,” you announced, twisting a loose strand of your hair around your finger. “you’re totally, like… abusing your power or whatever. just because i’m, like, a girl, and i might’ve, like, barely hit you, you wanna give me a ticket?”

rafe had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

“license. and. registration,” he repeated, his voice low, firm.

you groaned, throwing your head back dramatically before shifting in your seat, digging through the mess of designer handbags, receipts, and random makeup products littering your passenger seat.

“ughhh, fiiiine. but, like, can i just say—this is actually so embarrassing for me right now?” you tossed a loose curl over your shoulder, sending him a look. “you’re, like, totally ruining my night.”

rafe exhaled a sharp laugh, shaking his head. “same to you, honey.”

officer cameron waited, watching as you dug through the mess in your passenger seat, tossing aside random receipts, lip gloss tubes, and what looked like a small, sparkly dog sweater.

he was this close to losing it.

finally, with a triumphant little gasp, you pulled out a thick booklet and shoved it toward him, flashing a proud, dead serious look.

“is this it?” you asked, nearly pouting.

rafe stared at the object in your hands.

the car manual.

he dragged a slow hand down his face. fuckin’ hell.

“no.” his voice was flat. so, so flat.

your perfect brows furrowed, lips pushing into a pout as you flipped the manual open, like you were actually about to prove him wrong.

“are you sure?” you flipped another page, scanning it with intense focus. “because, like, it totally has stuff about the car in it. like, see?” you turned the booklet toward him, pointing at a diagram of an engine. “that’s my engine.”

rafe let out a slow, controlled exhale through his nose.

“that’s the manual. i need the registration.”

you blinked up at him. “okay, well, what does that look like?”

his patience snapped. “you don’t know what a registration looks like, but you had this ready to go?” he tapped the thick booklet still clutched in your manicured hands.

you huffed, rolling her eyes. “well, yeah. it was, like, in the glove thingy. and it’s literally about my car, so—why wouldn’t that be it?”

rafe tipped his head back, staring at the sky like it might grant him the strength to deal with this girl.

you were still flipping through the damn manual, nodding like you’d just cracked a code. “oh! maybe it’s this part. it says ‘registration’ right here—”

he glanced down.

you were pointing at a section about registering the fucking bluetooth.

rafe actually laughed this time—a sharp, disbelieving sound as he braced both hands on the edge of your window, leaning in a little too close, his eyes burning into yours.

“you’re kidding,” he muttered. “you have to be kidding.”

you looked up at him, wide-eyed, genuinely confused. “why would I be kidding? i literally don’t joke about stuff like this.”

of course you didn’t.

rafe’s jaw ticked as he straightened up, rolling his shoulders back. this was a waste of time. he should’ve just written you up and sent you on your way—but something about you? it was entertaining. infuriating. and maybe, just maybe… kind of fun.

“move over,” he ordered.

you blinked. “huh?”

rafe gestured toward the passenger seat. “move. i’ll find it myself.”

your lips parted in outrage. “you can’t just, like, get in my car!”

he smirked, slow and lazy, hands braced on his belt. “i can when the driver is too incompetent to find her own registration.”

you gasped, offended. “did you just call me incompetent?”

“yeah, sweetheart.” he opened the door. “now, move.”

rafe barely had the door open before you huffed dramatically and shimmied over to the passenger seat, arms crossed tight over your chest. the movement made your light gray sweatpants ride low on your hips, the little rhinestone “JUICY” across the back catching the glow of his headlights. your hot pink crop top clung to you like a second skin, dipping low enough to keep rafe’s eyes very distracted—not that he’d ever admit it.

you popped your gum, blowing a big, obnoxious bubble before snapping it back between your teeth with a loud crack.

rafe clenched his jaw.

this girl was going to kill him.

sliding into the driver’s seat, he scanned the absolute disaster zone that was your car. the smell of vanilla body spray and expensive leather filled his nose as he shifted through the chaotic mess of designer bags, old coffee cups, and random beauty products littering the center console.

“fuck,” he muttered, pushing aside a half-empty bottle of baccarat rouge 540 like it was a crime scene. “you live in here?”

you gasped like he’d just insulted your entire bloodline.

“excuse me?” you whipped around in your seat, long hair spilling over your shoulder. “this is, like, so rude. my car is literally clean.”

rafe held up a crumpled chick-fil-a bag he’d just unearthed from under a louis vuitton tote.

you waved a dismissive hand, chewing your gum even louder. “okay, well, i got that, like, yesterday.”

he arched a brow. “so?”

“so, that means it doesn’t count.”

rafe exhaled through his nose, deciding not to engage in that particular brand of insanity.

instead, he yanked open the glovebox and—finally—there it was. the damn registration. crinkled, barely legible, but it was there.

he snatched it up, flashing it in your face like a trophy. “this. this is your registration.”

you blinked, blowing another big, dramatic bubble before snapping it again.

“okay, well, like, how was i supposed to know that? it literally looks like all the other papers.”

rafe let out a slow, painfully controlled breath, gripping the wheel so tight his knuckles went white.

with a sharp exhale, he exited your vehicle and stalked back toward his suv, pulling the driver’s side door open with more force than necessary. sliding into his seat, he braced his elbows on the center console, rubbing a hand down his face before flipping open his ticket book. the dim glow from his dashboard illuminated the small slip of paper in his hand as he scribbled down your information. his pen scratched against the ticket book, each stroke slow and deliberate—not because he needed extra time, but because he knew you were waiting.

and you were impatient.

he could see you through the rearview mirror, still sitting pretty in your tiny pink crop top, tapping your long, manicured nails against the steering wheel. every few seconds, you’d huff, shifting in your seat, chewing your gum obnoxiously loud.

rafe smirked.

you were so fucking bratty.

finally, he tore the ticket from the book with a slow rip, taking his time as he slid out of his car and made his way back to your open car door.

you immediately perked up, your big doe eyes locking onto him as he leaned down, leaving his right hand on the top of your car.

“ugh, finally,” you groaned, flipping your hair over your shoulder. “i thought i was gonna like, die of boredom.”

rafe chuckled, shaking his head. “tragic,” he murmured, then held out the ticket. “here. make sure your daddy’s card doesn’t decline.”

you snatched it from his hand, rolling your eyes—but when you looked down at the amount, your jaw dropped.

“wait—WHAT?!” you screeched, shaking the paper in his face. “you’re, like, literally joking. there is no way you’re charging me this much!”

rafe just smirked, leaning in closer.

“speeding, reckless driving, and hitting a cop car?” his voice was low, smug. “sounds about right.”

you huffed, your nails scraping against the paper as you dramatically threw your head back. “ugh! this is sooo unfair!”

then, suddenly, you paused. your lips pursed, eyebrows furrowing—and rafe could see it happening. that little spark of mischief, the way you scanned his face, glossy pink lips slowly curling into a smug little smirk. you had an idea.

“you wouldn’t want my daddy to be mad at me, right?” you said sweetly, biting your lip, lashes fluttering up at him. “‘cause like, that’d be really bad of you.”

your fingers toyed with the hem of your crop top, pulling it down ever so slightly—just enough to make his gaze flicker, just enough to remind him how tight it was stretched across your perfect, perky tits.

rafe exhaled slowly through his nose, his jaw tightening. “you really think that’s gonna work?” he muttered, though his voice was noticeably rougher now. your smirk only widened. you leaned in, so close he could smell your sweet perfume and the bubblegum on your breath.

“can’t i, like…pay for this in a different way?” you murmured, your voice dripping with fake innocence, fingers trailing up the front of his uniform, playing with one of the buttons.

rafe’s gaze dropped to your lips—your glossy, plump, parted lips—and for a split second, he let himself imagine it. you, on your knees. looking up at him all needy and desperate, your bratty little attitude gone as you sucked his hard cock, choking as he forced you to deepthroat him.

“you’re out of your damn mind,” he muttered, eyes still maintained on your lips.

despite every reason to shut this down—your spoiled attitude, your blatant bribery, the fact that you’d just crashed into his damn car—he found himself rooted in place, his pulse thudding a little too hard, a little too fast.

your fingers were still playing with his uniform buttons, long nails scraping just lightly enough to send a chill down his spine. you knew exactly what you were doing.

your lips parted as if you were going to say something else—maybe another whiny complaint, maybe another suggestion for how you could make this ticket disappear—but before you could get the words out, he reached up, gripping your chin between his fingers.

the playful smirk vanished from your face. your lashes fluttered, lips parting slightly as you stared up at him, your usual bratty confidence flickering under the weight of his stare.

“sweetheart,” he murmured, his thumb brushing the corner of your mouth, just barely grazing your bottom lip. “you crash into a cop car, you pay the fine,” rafe continued, voice low, gravelly, his blue eyes darkening as he tipped your chin up further. “that’s how it works.”

you swallowed, your throat bobbing under his grip. then, suddenly, you let out a soft giggle. you tilted your head, nipping at the tip of his thumb before flashing him a sly, knowing smile

“or,” you whispered, your voice breathy, tempting, “you could just let it slide…” your giggle was soft, sweet—too sweet.

rafe went still. for a split second, he just stared at you, his grip tightening around your chin as the words sank in. you were bratty. you were spoiled. just so damn obvious.

and yet, he could feel the heat creeping up his neck, the urge to call your bluff pressing down on him like a weight.

his jaw ticked, his eyes flickering to the empty road, the pitch-black stretch of kildare that nobody ever drove down this late. the only sound was the soft whistle of the crickets in the distance, the occasional whisper of wind through the trees.

nobody was around.

nobody would see.

his eyes snapped back to you.

before you could react, rafe’s hand dropped from your chin, and instead, he began undoing belt. “better get to fuckin’ work then, hun.” he muttered, voice heavy with lust.

you gasped, eyes widening at the sight. his thick, hard cock sprung out of his trousers, now eye-level with you.

rafe just stared down at you, his chest rising and falling. he gripped your jaw and brought it towards his red-tipped dick, pressing it onto your glossy lips.

rafe swore he’d seen the smallest smirk on your lips before your mouth parted, inviting him in. his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure as your hand came up to hold him steady at his base, cock going deeper into your throat with every lick.

gaining confidence, your movements became more fluid, bobbing your head onto his length with ease—like you were a pro at this, giving cops head to avoid paying tickets.

“fuck.” rafe groaned, throwing his head back in bliss, guiding the back of your head with his left hand. his right hand came down to your tube top, forcing it down to reveal your tits. you giggled on his cock, using your free hand to make a show of squeezing and playing with your boobs for him to watch.

“you’re such a fuckin’ slut…. givin’ a cop head so you don’t have to pay for ticket…” he humorlessly chuckled, gripping your hair tighter as he thrusted into your mouth faster.

spit bubbles were falling from the corners of your mouth, dripping onto the white leather of the drivers seat. he leaned down, grabbing a handful of your tit, massaging it as he groaned.

you stared up at him with doe-like eyes, silently begging for his cum. he recieved the message, grabbing your face with both of his hands, fucking your mouth at a fast pace.

gulg gulg gulg

your mouth made the explicit noise as you impulsively moaned around his member, scratching at his wrists, almost at your limit.

“shit—gonna cum all over that pretty face—“ rafe moaned, pulling out of your throat, jerking himself off, other hand forcing your mouth open wide.

his hot cum spurted out in white ropes, landing on various places of your flushed face. his movements on his cock slowed, as he gained his sense of reality back.

he looked down at your cum-cover face—laughing when he saw the bimbo-like look in your eyes.

“well,” he started, putting himself back into his trousers, grabbing a couple of napkins from the inside of your door. he wiped his white semen off of your face, making you giggle. “i guess i could let you off with a warning, instead.” he smirked, giving your red face a light slap.

<3

[emmyrosee]

“Just one more,” you mewl.

“Oh my god.”

Sae has to leave. It’s past the point of him responsibly leaving, to now, where there’s no choice of him having to leave now, if he wants any chance of making it to practice on time.

But you, however, are seemingly far from getting your Itoshi Sae fix, not wanting to be far from him at all: you whimpered and whined when he got up for his run, you snuck into his shower with him, you looped your arms around his waist while he made his lunch, now you’ve got his face gripped in your hands, sponging kisses over him.

At first, sure, he loved the attention.

But Itoshi Sae has to leave. Four minutes ago.

“Hey,” he sighs softly, trying to push your shoulders back to peel you off of him. “You know I have to go. Don’t make this harder for me.”

“You don’t have to go,” you say simply. “You and I can just be hermits forever, hide here for the rest of our lives and cuddle forever.”

Tempting. Not that he’d ever tell you that.

“Don’t you want to stay here forever with me?”

He clicks his tongue, “you know I absolutely would if I could. But,” he makes a move to step away, and you whine and squeeze tighter. “I have to go. Then, when I come home, I’ll be able to tell you all about my day while we lay down. You like that.”

“I know I do, but,” you peer up at him with your lethal pout, “I like you being here more.”

Sae looks at the clock on the stove. Then back at you. Then he sighs and leans down to steal another kiss from you, slotting your lips with his. They move in harmony, eliciting small pants from you, and his hand cradles the back of your head lovingly. You mewl and rest your hands on his hips, letting the few seconds of heaven be savored between you.

When he finally pulls away, you’re smiling dopily, giddily, and Sae knows he hit the nail on the head.

You’d wanted a goodbye kiss. Sae always knows what you want from him, and in the morning, it just so happens to be a firm, loving, assuring goodbye kiss.

“Okay,” you purr, letting your hands roam over his back, compliant and melted in his arms. “You can go now. I’m happy.”

“You’re done with me?” He asks.

“Yeah, until tonight anyways,” you hum, kissing his chin. “Better go before I change my mind.”

He cracks a smirk, “you’re a real piece of work, you know that right?”

“What can I say?” You sigh dramatically. “I know how much you love a challenge.”

You’re right.

He really, really does.

[3amfanfiction]

I fully headcannon that Simon Riley is the type to take anything you give him, regardless of the impact to his health.

“Simon, you’re home!”

He had just walked in the door as you take a bite of a cooling cookie. you grab another one and hurry over to give him a hug and kiss, then you hand one of the cookies over to him. “You’ve gotta try these. They’re a cherry cream-cake cookie that my coworker gave me the recipe for. Tell me what you think!”

You wait expectantly for him to try it, bouncing excitedly when he tells you it’s good.

you grin as you stuff the rest of your cookie into your mouth and hurry back to finish your last batch. Simon follows and sits at the kitchen table to visit with you while you finish baking and begin cleaning the kitchen.

Before too long you notice his voice start to go a little hoarse when he answers your questions. as he clears his throat for the third time you ask, “You okay? Do you need something to drink?”

“Nah, I’ll b’ fine” he rasps, standing and coming to give you a kiss on the forehead. “i’ll be back in a bit, lovie.”

Is out the door before you can get your thoughts together enough to question him.

That evening you’re laying in bed when the door opens and in walks Simon.

When he crawls into bed you turn to him and let out a “Simon!’ when you see him covered in hives “what happened to you?”

He tells you he went to A&E since he’s allergic to cherries. His throat was swelling up while he was listening to you tell him about your day and he broke out in hives shortly after he left.

When you grill him, trying to figure out what was going through his mind when he accepted the cookie without saying anything, he just shrugs and pulls you into his chest with an eye roll and a, “it came from you, sweetheart. What was I gonna do? Not eat it?”

Next || Story Repository

[sttoru]

“tsk. has nobody taught you how to eat?” sukuna scoffs, gnawing on a big of piece of meat whilst watching you eat your own meal next to him. the corners of your lips are very messy.

you can’t help it. the food the maids had prepared is too delicious to eat without gusto. you’re alone with sukuna so you don’t mind your table manners all that much. nor does he.

“right back at you, my lord.” you retort in a sassy tone. a hand reaches out to tug at your hair before firmly flicking your forehead. a reminder of your place.

sukuna yanks off a piece of meat from the bone with his sharp fangs. he glances down at you with an amused yet dangerous look, “get too bratty with me ‘n you’ll end up as my dinner next.”

you chuckle. you’re used to his threats by now, knowing he won’t go that far, though you don’t push your luck any further.

the unexpected feeling of a wet tongue sweeping off the sauce from your mouth makes you cringe. you notice how sukuna had formed a mouth on one of his hands and decided to just clean you up that way, “ew. get that away.”

“ew? you should be grateful for that, woman.” sukuna huffs, continuing to eat nonchalantly whilst you’re struggling to fight off his hand from your face. “i can also use somethin’ else to clean up y’r dirty mess.”

the king of curses grins menacingly as the huge tongue on his abdomen rolls out. you shiver at the mental image of that massive thing slobbering all over your face to get the sauce off.

“yeah no.. err, thank you. i’ll just get a napkin.”

[ofswordsandpens]

percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?

jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies

[deunmiu-dessie]

innocent!commoner reader who diligently gathers berries in the forest every day for the village children. innocent!commoner reader who happens to stumble upon a wounded soul along their customary route through the woods. innocent!commoner reader whose pure heart and selfless nature guides them to tend to him. innocent!commoner reader who prattles to the unconscious man every day when they check up on him. innocent!commoner reader who ought to be frightened of the monstrous being. innocent!commoner reader who should've just left him there. ˙◠˙

injured!minotaur who wakes up to the sight of a tiny human nestled at his hip, sleep. injured!minotaur who accidentally startles you awake with a pained rumble. injured!minotaur who thanks you begrudgingly for tending to his injuries. injured!minotaur who gradually becomes accustomed to your presence and your chatter as the days pass while he waits for a full recovery. injured!minotaur who finds your naivety cute. injured!minotaur who suddenly finds himself wanting to corrupt you in every possible way. injured!minotaur who mischievously tells you that the only way for him to get better is by using your body. injured!minotaur who forcefully removes your clothing despite your whiny protests. injured!minotaur who promises he'll be all better after using your tiny human hole. injured!minotaur who groans as you willingly part your legs for him, with wide, innocent, tear-filled eyes. "i-if you're sure it'll help." ˙ᵕ˙

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

[dxddyspup]

okay but if bf!simon or husband!simon is in love with you he would never keep his mask on during sex.

you've told him that it's fine. maybe that it even turns you on

but he just can't help but see it as disrespectful not to let his pretty girl see his face, ESPECIALLY because he's clingy and needs to be kissing you at all times.

smth about respect. smth about honor. whatever it is, you can't seem to convince him that it's okay so it becomes you're goal in your relationship for a few weeks til he finally does give in. (because he will always give in for his girl)

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

katsuki hides his face in your neck when he gets embarrassed. that’s it send tweet.

[shotmrmiller]

there are two modes to simon. handsy and handsy.

handsy is the gentle hold he has on your wrist when you're watching a movie on the couch, his thumb brushing your knuckles, tracing ever bump and curve. it's a cozy arm thrown over your waist, weighty enough to leave your side sore after, with his leg slid between yours while he snores into your ear after a long day's work. the hand on your knee under the table while eating breakfast, lightly squeezing when you ask him if he wants more.

and then there's handsy. his grip tight around the soft of your waist, fingers creating little divots into your flesh as he tries to slow the pace you've set, feeling his climax too close too soon. it's how he fists your hair and maneuvers your head to the side without much effort while you're on your stomach, the light prick on your scalp only adding to the pleasure, as he mutters into your ear if you can give him another one. (guess you'll die, then.)

how he paws at your arse when he's got you on your knees with your face dug into a pillow as he pistons his hips, the occasional slap of his balls onto your clit making your ears ring and calves tense almost painfully, until he pulls you up, his chest and your back slick with sweat and you come with his one hand around your throat and the other jerking little circles on your stiffened pearl.

the two touches are so different from each other, one a tender thing as if he's afraid to hurt you and the other wanting to hurt, but a different kind of ache, the one he will always soothe with his fingers, mouth and cock.

(call him a triple threat.)

whether you like it or not, you've been conditioned. soft and gentle means affection and care, similar to him bussing the side of your head every morning before work while rough and firm means you're about to be ploughed until you're left to soak in a bath to recover from the onslaught.

and you'd been prepared to take this secret to the grave, to not tell a soul how he'd pulled you out of a pool with enough strength to feel your rear shoulder sting and you'd just about moaned in broad daylight. or how he'd moved you out of soap's trajectory during the first meet by the wrist and if you hadn't been wearing a jumper, your peaked nipples would've been visible to anyone.

but naturally, things never go your way. he'd found out in no time and now he uses that knowledge to his advantage. a quick sneaky fuck in price's bathroom during a barbecue starts with a vicious tug of your arm. getting ate out in the back alley of a pub: giving your thigh a squeeze so tight it could bruise while you sip on the swill you call beer.

and every single time he's pulling your pants down or flipping your skirt up, you're already dripping with want.

now to get him to stop manhandling you like that when the 141 are around.

(soap's left like a deer in headlights after he forcibly sat your tipsy arse down next to him because "LT said to keep 'n eye on ye," and a moan had slipped past your lips unbidden and now the girls boys are fighting someone help)

[nikkento-writes]

Being married for years now, it’s standard practice to subject Nanami to whatever pop hit of the week you’re currently obsessed with. And by obsessed, you mean repeating it over and over and over again until he finds himself humming the chorus on the train ride to work, even though he’s alone and the song isn’t even playing.

The two of you are driving back home after spending the weekend at your parent’s house. You’re singing the lyrics out loud, staring out the window with a cheerful smile on your face. He holds your hand on the center console, fingers interlocked, while he steers the wheel with his other. After memorizing these godforsaken lyrics beyond his own will, he finally asks, “What is this song even about?”

You turn to face him, lowering the volume, giving him a lousy answer. “It’s about bed chem!” He glances over at you, looking for you to elaborate, which you don’t. All you do is repeat, “Bed chem, Kento. Bed chem!”

He chuckles, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at whatever ridiculous slang the new generation is using nowadays. “Bed chem?”

You clear your throat, preparing yourself to give him the definition like some sort of spelling bee judge. “Bed chem. Having really good chemistry in the bedroom. Being sexually compatible. Matching each other’s freak. Bed chem.”

Nanami doesn’t even want to ask you to elaborate on the last example. “Is this what the youths are calling it nowadays?”

You giggle, squeezing his hand gently. “I guess so.”

He pulls into the driveway, foot on the brake as he reaches for the garage door opener, pressing it. “So what about us?”

You eye him suspiciously as he enters slowly. “What do you mean?”

He turns the car off, closing the garage door behind you. “Do we have bed chem?”

“I don’t think we’d be together this long if we didn’t,” you laugh, gazing into his eyes.

“Hm, I don’t know,” he hums, leaning closer, lips grazing your ear. “Do I pick you up? Pull them down?” His hand slides underneath your skirt, fingers teasing your clothed pussy.

“Kento,” you breathe out, spreading yourself wider in the seat, loving the way he rubs you through your panties.

“Do I talk so sweet when I’m doing bad things?” He hooks the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your thighs, pressing a finger directly to your throbbing clit. “Is that bed chem?”

You’re too entranced by his seduction to tell him how impressed you are that he knows the lyrics. Nodding, you whimper, “Yes,” taking his fingers until you come with his name pouring out of your mouth in breathy moans.

It doesn’t take you long to reiterate to Nanami that the two of you do in fact have “bed chem”; you ride him in the driver’s seat, making him spill his creampie inside you with his tongue stuck down your throat, further proving your point. Though, a simple reminder doesn’t hurt one bit.