#read in bed after work and then took a nap and ate dinner w my parents and jt was chill

[joestarwhore]

I’m Horrible at requesting things but can we get a yandere jotaro with a s/o whos the sweetest thing in the world? Like jotaro just wants to protect the bby. By protecting he means locking them in a basement with no sunlight or human connections that isint from him 😬 thx a bunch!

mwah, ofc!

IF YOURE NOT 18+ GO AWAY TYSM

————————————

Yandere!Jotaro Kujo Headcanon & Imagine

You met Jotaro around the same time Koichi did. You were a senior in school, your credits completed and your classes short, so you always had a lot of free time through the day.

You’ve had your Stand, Iron Maiden, since birth. Unlike other stand users though, you didn’t use yours very often. You simply loved to love people, your kindness making you a shining light to everyone around you.

& After everything that unfolds, Jotaro’s presence all of a sudden became more and more persistent. Jotaro would sit by you everywhere, asking you little questions about things you liked, flowers would show up on your nightstand at home, surprise little dates to the beach with him at night; Jotaro was treating you better than any man ever did before.

So when he suggested that you move away to his estate to live with him, there clearly was one answer; after all, your house was completely empty after you had came home, all of it packed on a trailer being worked on by Josuke and Okuyasu. Jotaro kissed your cheek, reassuring you this is exactly what you’re meant to do, his hands caressing your cheeks. After his sweet honeyed words, his gentle touches, you let him put you in the front seat.

——————————————

{Requited Love, Requited Insanity}

You sat on your king size bed that you shared with Jotaro, petting your cat Jam Jam who gently slept in your lap. The estate was absolutely giant, even though you & Jotaro lived in the penthouse below the surface. No windows, no light, simply electricity & Jotaro. That’s all you had.

Honestly, you were loving it! The estate was absolutely beautiful, Jotaro had a full library stocked for you to read from, all your records in a safe place for you, Jotaro paid for Jam Jams vet appointments and arranged for her to be expedited to you, giving you your small little companion back.

The only thing you missed were the people. Koichi, Josuke, Okuyasu, all of your pals, you haven’t seen them since the day you left Morioh. But that’s okay! Jotaro always takes good care of you, between making sure you have what you need & feel at home, he even put in an alarm system to make sure that the only one who can open doors is him, all because he doesn’t want you to slam your finger in one of the doors!! How sweet is he??

You heard the main door open above, footsteps coming down the stairs to the penthouse. Jotaros footsteps weren’t easy to miss, & certainly didn’t stop after he came through the door. His eyes softened as he saw you, throwing his hat on the shelf and his briefcase on the table. He raised up his arms as you ran into his chest, squeezing him with all the might you could muster. “Welcome home, honey!”

Jotaro smiled and kissed your forehead, “Thank you baby, I missed you a lot today. Did you have a good day with Jam Jam?”

You smiled brightly, “Yes I did, we watched a nature documentary while we napped together!”

“That’s good baby, I’m glad you’re getting sleep like a good girl.”

You followed Jotaro down to the kitchen, seeing two bags of takeout on the counter. “I figured since I have the next few days off, we could give you a break with cooking for a few nights. You’ve done really good cooking dinner for us, you deserve a break.”

You looked up at Jotaro smiling ear to ear, your heart swelled with admiration of how thoughtful he was. “Thank you so much Jotaro, that’s so so sweet!”

Jotaro helped you make your plate & got you both situated on the couch. You both talked about his day and yours as you ate, taking time out to pet jam jam as she walked by every now & then.

After about an hour of watching Jotaros pick of his favorite documentary, you spoke in a small voice up towards him;

“Jojo, how long have we been living here?”

Jotaro kept silent for a moment, careful not to say anything rash. Your delicate mental state & soft heart have been molded to his perfect little darling, & he couldn’t ruin that.

“Around 6 months, I’d say.”

You sat Jam Jam on the floor, angling yourself to look towards Jotaro, whos eyes were trained on you & looking at you with adoration. He knew if he was to keep you in his grasp, he had to answer all of your questions, and had to do it right.

“Why can’t I go outside?”

“The outside is dangerous, sweetie. There are a lot of bad men out there who don’t like me, and because I love you so much, they don’t like you either.”

Your face saddened at the thought of someone not liking you. You’ve never even hurt anyone, even when you had the chance to kill, you always chose the nicer way to do things. “Okay. I’m sorry for asking you so many questions, sometimes I don’t know how to explain certain things to myself.”

Jotaro sat you up & helped you stand up, “that’s perfectly okay, angel. As long as you are here with me, you are safe. I promise that.” You nodded as you grinned up at him, clearly satisfied with his reply and his praise.

Jotaro grinned down at you, kissing the back of your head as he steered you back to the bed, looming over you as he pushed you onto your back. “I had the aquarium to myself today. ‘Was thinking how nice it would’ve been if you were there.” His lips grazed over your ear shell, making your thighs clench together as adrenaline shot to your core.

“W-whys that?”

Jotaro chuckled darkly as he snaked his arm around your backside, holding the back of your head in his hand while his other one gripped your thigh, slowly making its way to your heat. “Because all I wanted to do was bend that perfect cunt over my desk and fill you til you were swollen.”

Your cheeks flamed red as you bit your lip in excitement. Jotaros thumb skimming over your tucked in bottom lip, attaching his to the side of your neck. You couldn’t keep in the moan that escaped you, between the pressure on your neck that would surely leave a hickey & Jotaros palm rubbing circles on your core.

“Perfect little whore for me, arent you?”

Silence. SLAP.

You yelped as his hand made contact with your ass, arching yourself into both of his hands. “Answer my question, you stupid fucking slut.”, he growled in your ear.

You moaned and hid your face in his muscular neck, his black hair tickling your eyes as you took in a shaky breath. “Yes sir, I’m your perfect little whore!”

Jotaro smirked down at you as he forced your legs open, gripping the flesh of your thighs in his fingers. “Y’know Josuke used to tell me how badly he wanted to bend you over. Him & Okuyasu both.” He unzipped his pants, pulling down and exposing his rock hard cock. Your breath hitched at the sight, excitement swelling in your stomach.

Jotaro lined himself up at your entrance, his thumb gently rubbing over your sensitive clit. “They don’t know how many times they’ve almost had every bone in their bodies broken.” He thrusted his cock all the way inside you, your moans filling your bedroom as you gripped the sheets to cope with the intensity.

“Mmh good girl, yeah just like that, take every inch of me like a good fuckin whore.”

Your moans became screams and begs for him to slow down and to stop as he tunneled into your cunt, not giving you any mercy. “Yeah good fuckin slut, good girl taking my dick- f-fucking christ you’re gonna look so good covered in my cum.”

Your stomach tightened as you gripped onto Jotaros arms, your cries asking him to please make you cum, please let you cum like a little whore, everything Jotaro wanted to hear out of his little darling.

“Mmmfph FUCK yeah good fuckin slut, cum all over my cock!”

His filthy mouth sent you over the edge as your intense release shook your entire body. Jotaro lazily pumped himself in & out of you, telling you sweet nothings in your ear as your overstimulated brain calmed down. Jotaro hilted himself inside you, finally cumming inside your sensitive womb. His large hands running over your glistening body help you up and into one of his T shirts, and laying you under the covers of your bed.

You were his. Only his. He had broke you and remade you so, so perfectly. He loved you so much it drove him into the most dangerous kind of madness; the requited one.

————————————————

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING DARLINS!!🦋✨🌈🌸

[stxphxn-strange]

(no) rest for the innocent

summary: Tony wasn’t even on trial, but the jury found him guilty and he couldn’t disagree.

a/n: idk last night i was thinking about tony dealing w survivor’s guilt after endgame (and IW) so i threw this together, tw for mention of death and implied thoughts of suicide

“Good evening, Doctor.” FRIDAY’s warm, pleasant voice always reminded Stephen of home and cinnamon scented candles. “How was your trip?” 

“Too long for a meeting that could’ve been handled over email. Or through carrier pigeon, as Tony would say,” Stephen replied as his cloak sailed off down the hall. 

He washed his hands carefully, drying them on an Iron Man dish towel that Peter had given them as a joke wedding gift before putting the kettle on. 

As the water was boiling, he noticed a covered plate on the kitchen counter. There was an obnoxiously orange piece of paper in front of it, which made Stephen smile. Tony always left him little notes on purposefully electrifying paper, that way they were easy to find. 

The sorcerer’s smile only widened as he read the note. 

Steph— 

I wasn’t sure when you’d be back, but I decided to make you dinner anyway. But not because I’m missing you and wanted to surprise you, I just accidentally cooked too much. You know how that happens sometimes and you just end up with an ungodly amount of chicken parm? Life’s funny like that. 

Anyway, I’m in the lab. I had some good ideas earlier and I wanted to start them while I still felt productive. Welcome home sweetheart, and if you go to bed before I do (because you probably will, you responsible asshole you), sweet dreams and goodnight. 

Love, Tones

PS— Orange you glad you met me? … don’t answer that, I just couldn’t help it and had to write that down. 

Stephen rolled his eyes fondly. “Fri, will you tell Tony that even though he’s not funny, I’m very glad I met him?” 

FRIDAY was quiet for a few moments before responding. “Boss says, quote, ‘fuck you Gandalf, I’m hilarious,’ unquote.” 

Stephen smiled, heating up his meal before sitting down to eat. He flipped through a magazine while he ate, FRIDAY turning on some soft jazz music as background noise until Stephen cleaned up and left the kitchen. After a refreshing shower, the sorcerer found himself in his most comfortable pjs and slippers as he walked through the house. Stephen wasn’t sure if he was going to bed yet, but he wanted to see Tony (and maybe he wanted a kiss or two or even three). 

The music in the lab automatically lowered when Stephen shut the door behind him, and Tony looked up with an expression that could only be described as tired. 

Actually, he looked exhausted. Weary. Barely holding himself together. Stephen wasn’t a thesaurus, but very concerned about his husband. 

Tony was trying to smile, but he seemed too exhausted to do that and just gave up, not saying anything as Stephen sat beside him. 

“Hi.” Stephen leaned over and softly kissed his husband’s temple. “Thanks for cooking for me, you didn’t have to.” 

Tony shrugged. “I had a lot of energy earlier, and I accidentally cooked way too much. Maybe it was intentional, you know I’d take any excuse to go out of my way for you.” 

His words said one thing, but his tone betrayed him. His voice was brittle, hard, and almost staticky. Stephen thought he sounded like a rusted hinge that was trying not to cry out for repairs… or maybe that analogy only made sense given where they were. 

Stephen kissed him again as Tony sat back at his desk, closing his well-used sketchbook. “You alright?” 

“Yeah. Tired I guess.” Tony sounded as unconvinced as Stephen felt. 

“Come to bed with me,” Stephen offered. “I’ll bore you to sleep by telling you about the meeting.” 

Tony laughed hollowly. “That bad?” 

“I don’t know how to describe it, but it was a waste of time. Even Wong was bored, and he watches the Antiques Roadshow remake for fun,” Stephen replied. He yawned and leaned against Tony’s side. 

“I see what you’re doing,” Tony murmured, trying to be lighthearted. He was just feeling some kind of way right now, he felt serious and was so endeared by his husband that it hurt. 

“What am I doing?” Stephen asked, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

“Being cute and sweet so I’ll go to bed and let you be the big spoon,” Tony accused. “And maybe I just really fucking need a hug, but… it’s working.” 

Stephen shifted and pulled Tony into his arms, holding the mechanic close as he went lax. 

“My Boss Is Singing Closing Time Protocol please, Fri,” Tony mumbled. 

“Goodnight Boss, goodnight Doctor,” the AI replied, beginning to run the lab’s standard closing protocol. 

“Portal?” Stephen asked. Tony was getting better with going through portals, but some days were harder than others. Stephen didn’t know what tonight would be like and opted to ask, selfishly wanting to make sure Tony got some rest as soon as possible. 

He was so out of it by that point that Stephen wasn’t sure if Tony registered the question, but he nodded slowly and trusted Stephen to lead him through it and into their bed. 

Despite “resembling a sloth clinging to a tree bough,” (Tony’s words) Stephen was intuitive and knew when not to hug Tony. Even when he was asleep, if Tony woke up thrashing or fighting against something in a dream, Stephen let him go. 

Tonight was a bit different. Stephen wasn’t brought to the edge of reality by Tony thrashing in their bed or accidentally tangling himself in their sheets, so he assumed everything was fine. That was until the sorcerer hugged his husband closer, still mostly asleep and just following his instinct, and Tony outright begged Stephen to let go of him. He wasn’t quite awake, but Stephen backed off immediately and heard Tony trip over his own feet as he left the room. The sorcerer fell asleep again after that, trying to stop the sound of Tony’s broken plea from cementing itself in his memory. When Tony climbed back into bed some time later, Stephen was stirring a little bit more. Tony hid his face in Stephen’s collarbone and said nothing, his breathing still slightly erratic. 

“Sorry if I woke you up,” he mumbled. 

“Don’ be,” Stephen replied, his voice unsure whether or not to wake up. 

“Will you hold me again?” Tony asked pleadingly, his voice almost imperceptible. 

Stephen wordlessly obliged, kissing the top of his head. “Whatever’s bothering you… you can talk to me about it. When you’re ready. And you don’t have to, but I’m here for you.” 

Tony nodded. “It feels like too much right now. What I’m thinking about, I mean. I need time to process, I guess.” 

“Okay,” Stephen said simply. “But I’m here for you whenever.”

“I know. I love you,” Tony replied. 

Stephen began to trace soothing patterns on Tony’s back. “Love you Tones.” 

++++

Tony didn’t seem any more rested the next day, but his confident Tony Stark™ pose seemed natural. He’d easily be able to fool people who didn’t know him as well as his family did. So it was a “fake it until you make it” kind of day, and Tony’s energy was on a strict schedule. There was only so much he could take today, and if his teammates wanted to call him selfish then that was their choice. 

It would just go in one ear and out the other, especially this late in the day and after brutal team training. Tony was close to skipping the meeting, but a cutting remark in the hallway made him change his mind. Why did they always act like it was breaking news when Tony needed to step back from something anyway? He was just as human as anyone else, and the world was happy to throw responsibilities on his unenhanced, steady shoulders just because he was a natural caretaker. 

The arguments about Tony’s quiet, withdrawn demeanor started two minutes into the meeting. Stephen was ready to defend his husband as soon as they got to the conference room, Tony collapsing into a chair and leaning his head against the cool metal of the table. 

He didn’t want to talk today, and Stephen didn’t want him to. 

“It’s not nap time, Stark.” There was a small hint of fondness in Natasha’s cold, clipped voice. 

Tony was already regretting his decision to show up, wishing he hadn’t told Stephen again and again that he was fine. He wasn’t, and they both knew it. Everyone knew it, but Tony knew better than to advocate for himself in front of his… colleagues. 

“I don’t even remember what we’re meeting about,” Tony muttered, looking up enough to address whoever was talking to him. 

Rhodey took a seat beside Tony, encouragingly patting his back. “You good?” 

“I’m fine, Honeybear,” Tony replied. He was sitting between his two favorite people, and that helped him feel a little more grounded. “I just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

Someone scoffed. “I don’t think anyone’s slept right in months. And don’t say you haven’t slept in years, Stark. We don’t need a story about how everything you’ve ever done has led to years of sleepless nights. We know already. Put it in a book or something and make the team more money so I can have better arrows.” 

Stephen was two seconds away from dropping the archer into the Dark Dimension, or flipping a table. He wasn’t sure how to handle the man yet, still taken aback by the rudeness and stupidity of his comment. “Barton, what the fuck—” 

“Steph, don’t bother with him,” Tony said. He stood up, forcing his tiredness into a corner and giving his coworkers a confident glare. “Pardon me for giving it my all and being a bit tired as a result. Now I’m going to get an ice pack for my shoulder and maybe a cup of coffee. Does anyone want anything?” 

“I’ll take a—”

“Get it yourself, you know where the kitchen is.” 

For dramatic effect (and moral support), the cloak landed on Tony’s shoulders and billowed out as he left the room. He returned with the aforementioned ice and coffee, and a mug of tea for Stephen. 

“You didn’t have to do that sweetheart, but thank you,” Stephen said appreciatively. 

“That’s why I wanted to,” Tony replied. He relaxed a little into his chair, starting to believe he could get through the meeting. 

Then, like clockwork, Clint opened his mouth to complain. 

“Why did you bring him tea and nothing for the rest of us?” He whined. 

“Doesn’t Tony do enough for you?” Stephen asked, innocently taking a sip of his tea. It was his afternoon green tea, made exactly the way he liked it. 

Tony was always so sweet and attentive with his loved ones, it warmed Stephen’s heart. The sorcerer stifled a laugh as Rhodey poured half of Tony’s coffee into his own empty mug. 

“Thank you,” the colonel said impishly. “Consider the roommate tax paid for this month.” 

Tony tried to smile at the old inside joke, but Stephen noticed that it fell flat. 

“Are we done with the interruptions? We need to talk about what’s out there. We don’t know if Thanos is the exception or the rule, and—”

Tony stopped listening. Clint’s snootiness was doing his head in, but the idea of another threat, another thing, another colossus he’d have to conquer and survive if his luck had anything to say about it… that was the breaking point. 

Tony didn’t have a good relationship with luck. He didn’t really believe in it, but apparently it believed in him. Because Tony was lucky. It was true that he was lucky in meeting his husband, his friends, and his family, but this was a different kind of luck. Tony was intelligent and skilled, shrewd and savvy, and there was virtually nothing he couldn’t do or solve, except for one thing. 

He was constantly lucky, constantly cheating death. 

And he didn’t realize that he was hyperventilating, didn’t recall dropping his head into his hands. He didn’t recall that he’d just walked out in the middle of the meeting after a minute, didn’t realize that he was home when he opened his eyes. 

Tony was home, in his spot on the couch in Stephen’s library. Stephen was sitting beside him, quietly watching a documentary or something like that. Tony was laying down, his head in Stephen’s lap with the cloak draped over him like a blanket. The crimson fabric continued to cling to him as he sat up, further proving Tony’s point that Levi liked him best, but he wasn’t in the mood to banter now. He just appreciated the support and the warmth of his sorcerer and their shared, sentient blanket.

With some hesitancy, Tony leaned over and rested his head on Stephen’s shoulder. They locked eyes for a minute, Tony’s gaze deliriously bright and vacant. 

Stephen didn’t know what to say or do to make the man trembling in his arms feel better, but started by hugging him closer and softly stroking up and down his spine. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispered, lowering his head and hiding against Stephen’s chest. 

“No apologies,” Stephen reminded him. “I don’t want or need them, and you don’t have to explain yourself.” 

“I have to give a good reason,” Tony said, his voice beginning to shake. “Everything I do needs a reason.” 

“Why? Says who?” Stephen asked. He was more thinking aloud, half expecting Tony to leave the question unanswered. 

For a while, he did. He just sat, furiously trying to blink back tears and gather his thoughts as Stephen held him protectively. 

“Sometimes I think about… things,” Tony began vaguely. “And people. And places. I guess I just like nouns.” 

At this point, he didn’t even know if he was trying to deflect or just tell a joke, but his attempt at humor fell flat. He tried to force a laugh, but halfway through it turned into a painful sob. He cried harder with each breath, ignoring the ache in his chest. Tony barely listened when Stephen encouraged him to breathe, but eventually he gave into his exhaustion and listened to his lungs. 

His stupid lungs, which apparently were just as stubborn as his brain. 

“I can’t keep doing this,” Tony whispered. “I shouldn’t have survived Afghanistan, New York, Sokovia, Siberia, or Titan. I can’t keep cheating death, Stephen. I don’t want to. I don’t want to be lucky and survive when the damage I’ve caused, the damage I claim full responsibility for, has taken so many lives. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt or killed for me.” 

Stephen pressed a soft kiss to his hair, feeling Tony’s guit and fatigue as if it was his own. 

“I don’t want to do this,” Tony repeated. “I’m probably just spiraling or being needlessly selfish, but  I… I don’t know.” 

“You’re taking on too much responsibility where you don’t need to,” Stephen said. “I know that’s easy for me to just say from the outside, but you aren’t the only Avenger. It’s about time the team, if you can even call them that, takes accountability for their actions and stops bulldozing you with their problems. You aren’t selfish, Tones. You’re tired and overworked, and you deserve a break. You deserve to breathe, to just exist without feeling like you have to look over your shoulder or justify your every step.” 

“I don’t think I know how to even do that anymore,” Tony replied. “And I don’t deserve it.” 

“You do,” Stephen argued. “And rest assured I’ll keep telling you that. And I’ll keep telling you how much I love you, because I really do.” 

Tony smiled sadly, trying to press himself closer to Stephen if that was even possible. “I love you too.” 

He was starting to settle down, soothed by a flurry of soft kisses in his hair and the gentle brushes up and down his spine, when FRIDAY quietly spoke up. She almost sounded remorseful. 

“Mister Parker is requesting one or both of you in the lab, whenever it’s convenient,” she began. “And he’s asked me to assure you that it’s nothing major.” 

Tony sighed, sitting up again. “I’ll investigate.” 

Stephen shook his head. “No, let me. I’ll tell Peter that you’re resting, and he’ll understand.” 

“I don’t want him to think I don’t care,” Tony whispered. 

“He would never think that. You know how he gets about making sure you take care of yourself, and Peter knows with certainty that you care about him. Our son is much more mature than the Avengers,” Stephen replied. 

“I still feel bad,” Tony said. 

“I know. I can promise him Thai food if that’ll make you feel better?” Stephen suggested, half jokingly. 

“It actually would,” Tony admitted. “FRIDAY, will you schedule a Thai food delivery for 6:30pm please?” 

“Scheduled,” she replied simpy. She still sounded apologetic for disturbing them right as Tony was falling asleep, but maybe Stephen imagined that. 

The sorcerer stood up gracefully, covering Tony with another blanket as the cloak wrapped a bit tighter around him. “Look after yourself and relax, or get some sleep. No one’s expecting anything from you right now Tones, alright? I love you.” 

Tony nodded, a little smile on his face as Stephen kissed him again. “Love you.” 

He really wanted to sleep. He actually put effort into falling asleep, which was something he never thought he’d do, and of course sleep didn’t come easily. Sleep never came easily, but the memories did. It was all too easy for Tony to get caught in a thought stream, whether he was planning a surprise, inventing, or remembering unpleasantries. Today he was overwhelmed by guilt, readily convincing himself that he was a selfish failure like Howard Stark and his teammates liked to say. It was too easy to get lost in their ire and wanting to please everyone, and Tony had given up so much of his agency just to try and make other people happy. 

It was exhausting, and he didn’t even feel like he’d succeeded at that. 

The mechanic started tearing up again as he continued to think in a circular pattern, faintly aware of the Cloak trying to comfort him. It was a sweet, welcome gesture, and Tony let it happen and let himself cry. He was still laying there in tears when Stephen came back in half an hour later.

“Pete says he hopes you feel better,” Stephen said, returning to his spot and pulling Tony close. “And I told him to just go ahead and eat whenever he’s hungry, or when the food gets here.” 

Tony just nodded, feeling relieved and supported in Stephen’s arms again. He nodded again, as if trying to shake the unending self-deprecating thoughts from his head, before saying anything. “Sounds good.”

tags: @salty-ironstrange-shipper @stark-strange-love2 @chocopiggy @katninjagirl97 @kitkatfat15 @taruyison @funkylittlebidiot

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 40 Pt 5

“Dad took them shopping.” Valter said as he took Sildie’s bag from Gustaf.

“Ahh, that explains it.” Gustaf chuckled.

“She’s looking better.”

“Still not all the way there, but yes, better.” Gustaf said quietly.

“You want me to hang or split?”

“Hang, you’re in the middle of getting you ass handed to you again.” He grinned as he scooped Lily up for some dad dad cuddles. Damn he’d missed this, he thought, all of them, but especially his Lily bear.

“Yeah. Thanks, bro.” Valter said sarcastically as he took Sildie’s bag to the bedroom.

“Boys, take it down a notch.” He said softly. “She’s not fully well yet.” Kissing her temple he snaked an arm around her as she slumped slightly, her energy spent.

“I need to go lay down ok?” She said to the twins. “You can come see me after my nap and we can have dinner together. I’ve missed that.”

“Love you mum.” Brendan hugged her fiercely. She knew it had hit him harder, the poor kid was slightly less of a mess than Gustaf.

“I’m ok B. I’m on the mend now and in a few weeks I’ll be back to normal.” The teen nodded. “It scared you?” She murmured holding him close.

“Yep.” She could see the tears welling in his eyes.

“I’m sorry love.”

“Sok.” He shrugged. “You’re back, that’s all that matters.”

“So what are you cooking?” She asked seeing the half prepped meal on the counter.

“Chicken soup for you. Grandpa helped me go shopping.” He said quietly.

She choked up. “Yum.” Her smile made the kid grin. “I’ll take anything that’s not jelly. Thank you, especially for helping Gustaf.”

“We’re a family.” Brendan murmured.

“We sure are love.”

“Bed Sildie before you fall down.” Gustaf said gently, he didn’t want to pull her away from the kids, but she was crumpling to the floor in front of his eyes.

“Going.” She looked over at Valter, the twins already whooping his ass again. “Thanks Valter.”

“Anytime, although I’m regretting that decision now these two are wiping the floor with me.” He grinned. “Again.”

Gustaf helped her shuffle to the bedroom, Lily intent on hugging her and getting snippy with Gustaf at his lack of urgency. “Hang on a second little lady, she’ll drop you if I hand you over.” Sildie sat on the bed, her sigh turning into a coughing fit. Sitting beside her he let Lily stand on the bed and hug Sildie.

“I’ve missed them.” She choked.

“I know love, they’ve missed you too.” He toyed with a wave of copper that had escaped her braid.

“He was so scared.” She let the tears fall, better out than trying to hold them back.

“We all were.” He whispered, his own emotions getting the upper hand.

“Mum mum mum.” Lily patted her cheek softly.

“I’m ok Lily bear.” She smiled through the tears and swiped them away.

“Nap then food or food then nap?” Gustaf asked.

“Nap. I’m wiped.” She barely had the strength to bend and unlace her boots.

“Let me.” He said softly and got on his knees to undo her boots.

“I have zero energy, it’s crazy. Like someone flicked an off switch or took my batteries out.” She chuckled.

“Your body has been through hell on the inside love, it needs time to recover.” He pulled her feet free of the boots and looked up at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too sweet man, and thank you for taking care of me.” She cupped his face in her hand and he leaned into it relishing the contact. Damn he’d missed her. “Even when I’m a cranky bitch and don’t deserve you.” She snorted, snuggling Lily in.

“You were ill, I think you get a pass on being a cranky bitch. I’m not much better when I’m sick. Makes me grumpy. I’m a bear, fair warning.” His quip got the smile he was after.

“Little lady you need to go to dad dad.” She said. “I don’t have the energy to hold you up.” She said smiling and Lily giggled as Gustaf kissed her neck, scruff tickling.

“Into bed love.” He kissed her softly and helped her get under the covers. “Your phone is there, text me if you need something or need to get up. I don’t want you struggling to get to the bathroom and falling.”

“Honestly, I don’t think I could get there without you.” She slurred, her body already pulling her under.

“Sleep love.” He kissed her temple and Lily said her soft mum mum as they left her to rest. Coming out into the kitchen he found Brendan making soup, their own dinner already in the oven. “Thanks kid.” He pulled the teen in for a rough guy hug. “For the soup, dinner, and keeping your siblings safe. For helping out. I’m grateful.”

“Thanks for keeping mum safe.” He mumbled. “I was scared.”

“Me too kid, me too.” Lily gave her brother a big hug too. “Even Lily thinks you’re awesome.” He chuckled. Settling in the one seat with her he watched the twins and let his mind relax, to just have a moment to zone out and not think. She was home and safe, the kids were ok, he was beat to hell, but they’d got through the worst of it. While Valter kept the twins occupied and smooched a happy Lily in his lap, Gustaf hit the workout room an hour or so later. Mentally and emotionally he was wiped, and he knew the physical tenseness would ease once he went a round with the bag. There was no anger to work through, or issue to address, he just needed to burn off some physical energy to settle. She was out cold when he went to shower an hour later, didn’t move when he dressed and kissed her brow. Relaxed and sleeping deeply now she was home and comfortable. The kids sat for dinner wanting Sildie to join, but knowing she needed to sleep. Gustaf thought about waking her, the need for rest too important at this stage. He took the time to sit with them, to joke and laugh, get them back to a semi normal routine after a week of upheaval. Valter stayed for dinner and left once the twins were getting ready for bed. Gustaf was finishing up bathing Lily when his phone beeped.

I’m awake, need to pee.

Just getting Lily out of the bath.

No rush.

Getting Lily out of the tub he dried her off and dressed her for bed. Leaving her with Brendan he made his way into the bedroom to see Sildie sitting up on the side of the bed. “Good nap?”

“Still tired, but I’m hungry.”

“Bathroom then food. The soup is really good I had a cup before dinner.” He said helping her to the bathroom.

“Did I miss dinner?”

“Yes, but sleep is more important for you right now, they understand. No way was I waking you.” He chuckled. Stepping outside while she took care of business he smiled, she was looking better after her nap and her appetite was coming back. “All good things.” He sighed.

Helping her out to the dining table she sat as he heated up some soup and toasted some dark rye bread. The twins rushed over to her after their bath and sat while she ate telling her about everything that happened while she was in hospital.

“Sounds like I missed a lot of fun things.” She whispered.

“You did. Don’t get sick again.” Finn said grinning.

“Don’t plan on it kiddo.” She coughed. At least it didn’t sound like a death rattle anymore, Gustaf thought. “This sucks.”

“We missed you.” Liam said quietly.

“Missed you too. Come here love.” She pushed her chair out and pulled Liam into her lap, her body feeling the fatigue at the action. “Scared you huh?” He nodded and hugged her. “I’m sorry it scared you. Scared me too.”

“Are you really going to get better?” He mumbled.

“It’ll take a few weeks but yes, I’ll get better, lots of sleep and rest and food.” She smiled and bundled Finn to her. “I’ve missed you so much.” She murmured, kissing each twin on the head. “Bed time for you though.” She said and the boys groaned. “Back to a normal routine, you have school starting soon.” She chuckled and watched as they went to bed to wait for Gustaf to read to them. “Thanks for the soup B, it’s really good.”

“I made Kladdkaka as well, but dad doesn’t know yet.” He grinned, placing it on the table.

“I think he could use a slice.” She smiled at him, he was such a good kid, so much like his mother, considerate, kind.

“He was super scared.” Brendan said, getting another mug of soup for her and setting it on the table.

“I know love.”

“He hasn’t slept in a few days either.” The kid said keeping an eye on the twins door, he felt like he was ratting Gustaf out.

“We’ll have to make sure he gets a sleep in tomorrow, ok?”

“I’ll get Lily and the twins in the morning, you keep him in bed.” Brendan grinned. “As long as we can play games.”

“Oh I see how it is.” She scoffed slyly. “Sounds like a good plan, can you clean up a bit? Take the load off him a little more? I know we’re leaning on you a lot right now Brendan but...”

“It’s ok. We’re a family and we stick together, help each other out.”

“Yes we do, but I feel bad sometimes at how much I lean and depend on you.”

The teen shrugged. “You can’t do it all Mum.”

“No, I guess I can’t.”

“And you shouldn’t have to. Family, that means all of us.”

“I love you Brendan. Your parents would be so proud of you love.”

“I miss them and I want them here, but I love the family we have.” He said softly.

“Me too kiddo.” She winked as Gustaf came into the room, Brendan nodding.

“Night mum.” The teen smirked.

“Night love.”

“Night dad.” He hugged Gustaf hard.

“Night B, and thanks for the past few days.” Gustaf kissed the top of the teens head. One of those rare moments where his subconscious had taken over because he was so exhausted.

“You bet.” Gustaf slumped into the chair as the teen headed to bed.

“You need to finish your soup love.”

“You need to eat your Kladdkaka sweet man.” She tossed back. “I’m working on my second cup.” She watched him over the rim of the mug, so tired. Bone weary exhausted, the slump of his shoulders something she never wanted to see again. The smile that bloomed across his face seeing the chocolaty dessert in front of him with a fork across the top almost made her weep with joy.

“The kid doesn’t miss a thing does he?”

“Nope.”

“Like someone else I know.” He said with a tired smirk as he took a bite. “Damn that’s so good. Want some?”

“That’s all for you love. He made it just for you.”

“I feel like an ass for dumping so much stuff on him lately.” He said quietly.

“He gets it. It’s what we were just talking about. We’re a family, it’s what families do. That’s where his heads at. I’d call it progress to a year ago.”

“It sure is. I’m glad you’re home.” He smiled, it was wearily, but it was that one he only kept for her.

“I am too.” She finished off her soup and could see he was asleep on his feet, already drifting as he had another forkful, the sugar probably the only thing keeping him upright. “Would you help me to bed, come snuggle with me?”

“I need to tidy up before I go to bed.” He sighed.

She shook her head. “Leave it. There’s just a few dishes which can wait for tomorrow. Brendan said he’d get them.” And she knew the teen would.

“Let me lock up and get the dishwasher started at least.” He stood and collected her dishes, the soft kiss to her brow making her smile.

“Ok.” She wasn’t going to push, she didn’t have the energy to argue and he was too tired. Pick your battles, she thought. She watched him move around the apartment, home, this was a home, their home and damn had she missed it. He helped her with her nightly routine and took care of his own before laying beside her. “Time for me to take care of you.” She murmured and kissed him tenderly. Pulling him close she guided his head to rest in her lap, fingers stroking his scalp, soothing. “Sleep love, you’re exhausted.” His arms curled around her like a child holding onto his favorite teddy bear and she felt the shuddered sigh, knew the tears were right there. “I’m ok, sleep now.” As his silent tears fell she kissed his head, soothed and cared for him as best she could. “My sweet man, I love you so much.”

“Love you too.” He mumbled, sleep about to claim him hard.

“Rest now, your turn to sleep and rest.” She felt him go under, like every muscle in his body had released its hold on the world. Smiling down at him she let her own tears fall, relief she was home and recovering, guilt for putting that fear into him and the kids. Sleep claimed her eventually, the crushing exhaustion no match for her depleted system. She had no choice but to comply with her body’s wishes.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb @grimeundglow

[jaskierswolf]

You Set My Heart Ablaze (18/25)

Previous __________

It was ten o clock on a Monday morning and Jaskier was still in bed.

He was in heaven.

He woke up naturally and peered at his phone, the numbers were blurry without his glasses but he could just about make it out. He smiled and hugged his phone to his chest before turning back over and pulling the covers over his head.

He fucking loved the school holidays.

He didn’t fall back asleep but his bed was just the perfect temperature and he wasn’t ready to get up yet. He could stay in bed all day if he wanted to, and the idea was incredibly tempting. His bliss only lasted another ten minutes before his bladder betrayed him. He sighed and felt around for his glasses before turning on the light. After he’d finished up in the bathroom, shower and all, he decided it was probably time for breakfast. He pulled on a fresh pair of boxers and his dressing gown before shuffling into the kitchen. After a few minutes of deliberation he decided that pancakes were on the menu.

He’d been tempted by waffles but his waffle iron tucked away in the back of a cupboard and he honestly couldn’t be bothered to find it. So pancakes it was. He knew the recipe off by heart so it didn’t take long to whip up some batter. He peered at the mixture once it was finished and then dived straight back into his cupboards. It was the holidays and he wanted chocolate chips. He’d earned chocolate chips, it had been a hell of a term.

His relationship with Geralt had been all over the place and he felt liked he’d just gotten off one of those crazy rollercoasters. Between the fire and their sort of break up and then that rather splendid hour wrapped up in Geralt’s arms.

Fuck.

It had been better than Jaskier had ever imagined. Unfortunately, in his post-sex daze he’d forgotten about the broken glass on the floor and Geralt had ended up having to pull shards of glass from his feet. The care with which the fireman had bandaged his feet had astounded him. For such a large man, Geralt was capable of being extremely gentle. Jaskier had been incredibly grateful that they’d already yelled out confessions of love, because the way Geralt had looked at him whilst he cleaned and bandaged the wounds and been all too much for his poor heart.

They’d promised to avoid each other until summer now which was just heartbreaking but Jaskier had said himself, he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t love Geralt. He’d always worn his heart on his sleeve and he knew that anyone would take one look at them together and just know the truth of his feelings.

It hurt, but it was necessary. They knew it was necessary.

“Bollocks!” He yelled into the empty apartment.

It wasn’t fair.

Why did he never have any luck in long term relationships?

The smell of burning pancakes hit his nose. “Oh shit! Cock!” He pulled the pan off the hob but it was too late. The first pancake was burnt.

“Fuck’s sake.” He growled.

He snapped a photo of the burnt breakfast and sent it to Geralt

J —This is your fault xxx

He didn’t expected the fireman to reply straight away, if at all, after all they’d promised to stop talking to each other until summer.

And yet, before he’d even picked up the next spoonful of batter, his phone had buzzed.

G — How is that my fault?

Jaskier beamed.

J — I was too busy thinking about the other night. xxx

He sighed happily as he watched the batter in the pan carefully. It was slowly starting to bubble and Jaskier was getting ready with his spatula to flip the pancake when his phone buzzed again. He groaned and stared intently at the pan. He could not answer it. He could not look at it. He was cooking!

His phone buzzed again.

“Oh cock!” He quickly flipped the pancake and scrambled for his phone.

G — Sounds like a you problem.

— Sorry I didn’t put any kisses.

Jaskier laughed and began to type.

J — Save them for summer, dear heart. I’ll make an IOU. xxx

Geralt didn’t reply immediately this time which was excellent news for his pancakes. He finished up the rest of the pile and then pulled out a tub of cookies and cream ice-cream from his freezer. Once he was done, he held the plate up and took a selfie with his creation to send to Geralt.

J — I finished it! No thanks to you, darling! xxx

Jaskier ate his breakfast happily. He fucking loved the school holidays. After breakfast he could go back to bed and watch television or read a book or just have a nap! He ran a hand through his damp hair whilst he considered his options. Maybe he could ring Pris and see if they could have a composing session. They hadn’t been in the studio in a while and he was itching to get something recorded. He’d been composing like crazy over the last week. Apparently getting fucked by the love of your life really did wonders for your motivation.

The sugar was already beginning to kick in by the time he’d finished his breakfast and he was singing happily around the last few mouthfuls of pancake. He could barely contain the energy rush as his leg began to bounce under the table. He was halfway through the washing up, singing and dancing as he went, when his phone buzzed again.

He shook the bubbles from his hands and patted them dry on his dressing gown.

G — You wear glasses?

Jaskier was about to respond but Geralt was still typing and beat him to it.

— They suit you.

— A lot.

Jaskier grinned at Geralt’s flurry of messages, unbelievably he was still typing. He considered replying to put Geralt out of his misery but honestly he was enjoying this too much.

— Are you cooking naked?

— Fuck. Hang on.

Jaskier’s phone began to ring in his hands and he laughed as he answered. “Are you ok, darling?”

Geralt growled on the other end of the line.

“If I’d known you would react like this to my glasses I would have worn them months ago!” He giggled.

“It’s not just the glasses.” Geralt grumbled.

“Oh?”

“The dressing gown, your hair, your stupid face.” Geralt continued.

“My dressing gown?” Jaskier asked incredulously. His dressing gown was the fluffy cosy sort and probably one of the least sexy things in his wardrobe. “Oh and hang on! My stupid face?! I thought you liked my face!” He absolutely did not shriek.

“You look cute.” Geralt admitted quietly. “Like you’ve just woken up, all disheveled and soft.”

“I have just woken up.” Jaskier replied slowly not really understanding Geralt’s point.

He heard a long drawn out sigh on the other end of the line. “I wish I was there with you, waking up, making pancakes.”

“Are the pancakes before or after morning sex?” Jaskier teased as he hopped up to sit on the kitchen counter.

Geralt grumbled something unintelligible on the other end of the phone.

“What was that, dear heart?” Jaskier laughed, oh he was having far too much fun with this.

“I’m at work.” Geralt muttered. “Stop laughing at me!”

“Oh but darling, you make it too easy.” Jaskier giggled.

Geralt was silent whilst Jaskier got over his laughing fit.

“After.” He spoke softly, in a low husky voice that made Jaskier feel things.

“W-what?” He stammered.

“The pancakes, would be after.” Geralt practically purred in his ear and Jaskier almost fell of the kitchen counter.

“Geralt!” Jaskier whined. “I thought you were at work.”

Geralt laughed. “You started it.”

“Yes, true but we can’t finish it!” He pouted.

“Ciri is away with Yen this week, girl’s trip.” Geralt answered casually.

Too casually.

Jaskier grinned. “Dinner at your place then?”

“If you’d like.”

“Oh dearest, I would love nothing more.” Jaskier sighed wistfully. “But weren’t we supposed to be waiting until summer?”

“Fuck summer.” Geralt said succinctly.

“Rather you fuck me.” Jaskier teased. “Or I could fuck you. I am not opposed to that.”

Geralt ignored him, which was just rude! But he supposed Geralt couldn’t exactly answer that one appropriately whilst at work. Jaskier did find the idea of the fireman getting all flustered at work rather titillating, as long as Geralt never decided to turn the tables on him. He worked with children after all.

“No one needs to know. There’s no one at my house, no one at yours either. It’s a week of freedom.” Geralt’s voice was quieter now, and Jaskier heard faint voices in the background.

“Forbidden love. How exciting!” He sang. “Let me know when you’re off work, and text me your address. I’ll be there.”

“Good.”

Jaskier took a deep breath. “I really do love you, you know. I know it seems too soon and we have barely even started this relationship but I do, I love you.”

Geralt laughed quietly. “I know. You too. More than I should.” Geralt sighed. “I have to go.”

“I know.” Jaskier moaned. “But I’ll see you later, my dear.”

“Yeah. See you.”

The line went dead.

Jaskier let out a shaky breath. A whole week where he could see Geralt whenever they pleased, well when Geralt wasn’t at work at any rate. The added forbidden element of the whole affair only made it more exciting, some dark secret that only the two of them could know. He wondered when it had all gotten so out of control. When had he gone from harmlessly admiring Geralt’s god-like physique to orchestrating forbidden dates and stolen kisses whilst no one else was paying attention.

He remembered feeling floored at just the prospect of Geralt’s attention being on him.

But now that he had it.

To the gods he never wanted it to end.

_____________________________

Jaskier Pankratz was inside Geralt Rivia’s house.

And the world was not on fire. There were no demons reaching up from hell ready to drag him below to their fiery depths. Stregobor wasn’t lurking around the corner like a ghost ready to hang him from the battlements for his behaviour. Philippa Eilhart wasn’t looming over him with a clipboard in her hand ready to toss him aside like she had with the others.

He peered around the living room. There were framed pictures of Ciri and Roach pinned to the wall, next to ones of a couple holding a tiny baby. Ciri’s parent’s he supposed. He’d never seen a picture of them before. There were a few photos of Geralt’s colleagues at the pub. His heart ached when he saw the photos of Geralt and Yennefer.

Fuck they were a beautiful couple.

Yennefer’s stunning violet eyes against the natural tan of her skin and raven black hair was the opposite of Geralt and his silver hair, pale skin and warm amber eyes. Together they looked like something out of a fairy tale.

He stared for too long.

Geralt cleared his throat behind him.

Jaskier turned around with a sheepish smile and pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Sorry. I’m being nosey.”

Geralt just tilted his head and smiled fondly at his antics before pulling him into a warm embrace.

Jaskier melted into Geralt’s arms. It had been just over a week since he’d seen the fireman and he had been yearning for his touch ever since.

Geralt buried his face in Jaskier’s hair and hummed contently. “You smell good.” He murmured.

Jaskier just pressed his face into the crook of Geralt’s neck, the frames of his glasses squashed against his nose and cheeks uncomfortably but he didn’t care, not in that moment. He had no intention of leaving any time soon. For once he felt calm, the restlessness that followed him day in day out ebbed away as Geralt held him close.

“You brought your guitar?” Geralt eventually broke the silence that had fallen between them.

Jaskier finally pulled back from Geralt’s chest but kept his hands on the fireman’s arms. “Lute, actually. I keep my guitar in a cupboard at school now. I can’t afford to replace it again for a while.”

Geralt guided Jaskier to the sofa gently and tugged at the strap of Jaskier’s lute case. “Play for me?”

“What?” He asked in disbelief.

He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d decided to bring his instrument along. He just knew whenever he was in the vicinity of the firefighter he was almost overwhelmed with the urge to play, to compose, to sing ballads about his eyes… amongst other things. Jaskier now had a good few rhyming couplets about the delicious curve of Geralt’s butt. That being said, he hadn’t actually expected to play, especially not at Geralt’s request.

Geralt cupped his cheek and gave him a small half smile. “I’ve never heard you play, not in person, not properly.”

Jaskier’s breath caught in his chest and gazed into Geralt’s beautiful golden eyes in awe.

How was this man even real?

Maybe this was all a dream?

Surely he didn’t deserve all of this.

He licked his lips and leaned into Geralt’s touch. “What shall I play?”

Geralt captured Jaskier’s lips in a chaste kiss. Jaskier hummed happily into the kiss that ended far too quickly. “You’re the musician. Play something that makes you happy.”

“Three things that make you happy?” Jaskier teased.

Geralt didn’t hesitate like he had all those months ago.

“You.”

“Geralt!” He whined and buried his face in the man’s chest. “You cannot say things like that!”

“Too bad.” He smirked.

“No regrets?” Jaskier asked timidly.

“None. You?” Geralt frowned.

Jaskier laughed. “My only regret is that we can’t enjoy this until the end of term.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier gently bumped his forehead against Geralt’s “Three things, Geralt. Even my buttercups can count to three.”

“You, your smile, your eyes.” Geralt listed off, his eyes boring down into Jaskier’s. There was barely any space between them like this and every word, every breath tickled against Jaskier’s lips.

“I’m on your list three times?” He laughed breathlessly.

“Problem?” Geralt murmured.

Jaskier closed the gap between their lips and kissed Geralt, his fingers gripping onto Geralt’s biceps as the man pulled him closer.

When they pulled away they were both breathless. “No.” Jaskier whispered. “No problem.”

“Good.” Geralt laughed and stepped away, putting a wider gap between them. Jaskier pouted but let Geralt go. He didn’t want to appear too needy. “Now play for me?”

So he did. Jaskier pulled out his lute and quickly made sure his precious instrument was in tune before starting to strum on the strings. He played a new composition, it wasn’t quite finished yet but with Geralt looking at him as if he’d hung the stars and moon he couldn’t help but play the melody that escaped him whenever he thought of his silver-haired fireman.

There were no words.

Not yet.

But right now it didn’t need any. The soft sound of lute strings filled the living room. Jaskier closed his eyes as he played. He couldn’t handle the overwhelming love in his heart whenever he caught Geralt’s gaze. It was too much. Geralt was too much.

So he let himself get lost in the music. He let his fingers dance on the strings of his lute, let every note tell a story of love, of destiny, of heartbreak. He hadn’t even noticed he was crying until Geralt brushed a finger across his cheek to wipe away the tears. His eyes fluttered open and Geralt’s eyes were the only thing he could see. The rest of the world just faded away. It was Geralt and only Geralt.

Nothing else mattered in that moment.

Gods he was so gone on the man.

And by some miracle of fate, Geralt seemed to feel the same way.

Geralt gently pulled the lute from his trembling fingers and placed it carefully on the floor beside them. Jaskier half laughed and half sobbed as he lunged forward to kiss Geralt, like a starved man at a banquet.

He needed.

Gods he needed.

Geralt returned the kiss eagerly and it wasn’t long before they fell into bed together, the need to be close, to feel each other becoming too much for them. The knowledge that after this week they would be parted for months again, that the world was against them right now and they had to make use of every second that they had together until they were torn apart.

_____________________________

It was half past six on a Tuesday morning and Jaskier was woken up by the alarm clock.

He groaned and buried his face in Geralt’s hair.

In Geralt’s hair?

He blinked as the man in question thumped the clock on the bedside table with a grunt before rolling onto his back and pulling Jaskier to his chest. His very naked chest. Jaskier held his breath as he let his fingers trail across the expanse of exposed marred skin. Geralt hadn’t taken his shirt off the first time they’d hooked up, after Geralt had spontaneously turned up at his flat, and last night Jaskier had found out why.

Across Geralt’s chest was a large puckered scar, the kind left behind by some serious burns. Jaskier didn’t question it and Geralt didn’t offer any explanation, they’d been too busy with other more important matters at the time but now, in the quiet of the morning, Jaskier had time to wonder.

Geralt’s hand clasped over his. “Morning.” He grumbled, his eyes were still shut but there was a faint smile on his lips.

“Hey.” Jaskier replied softly.

“I have work.” Geralt said bluntly, finally his eyes fluttered open and he looked down at Jaskier sadly.

“Yeah.” Jaskier pouted. “I gathered.”

“Could call in sick?” Geralt suggested with a twinkle in his eyes.

“We could make pancakes.” Jaskier added his voice full of longing.

Geralt hummed and rolled them over so Jaskier was on his back, looking up at the beautiful creature that he was allowed to love. Geralt brushed Jaskier’s fringe from out of his eyes and then leant down to place a lazy kiss on his lips. Jaskier let his hands thread through Geralt’s loose hair. It was knotted from where Geralt had slept on it and from Jaskier’s wandering hands the night before but Geralt didn’t complain when Jaskier’s fingers caught in the knots, he just moaned into the kiss and caught Jaskier’s bottom lip between his teeth.

The alarm clock started to beep again and Geralt groaned, rolling off of Jaskier so he could turn it off.

He sat on the side of the bed with a heavy sigh. Jaskier crawled across to sit behind him. He pressed a kiss to Geralt’s shoulder. He let his hand trail down Geralt’s arm and then rest his chin on his shoulder. “You have to go.” He stated with a sigh.

“Yeah.” Geralt grunted.

“That’s ok. Just let me get my stuff together, I should get home too. I have to sort out my lesson plans.” Jaskier couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice.

Fuck.

When had leaving Geralt become so difficult?

Were they just in their honeymoon period?

That must be it. He remembered his relationships from college and university burning this brightly at the beginning too. The need to be in each others space constantly, every second apart like pure torture. He always hoped it would never end, but it always did. The initial spark would fade and his partners would lose interest in him. That’s all he was good for in the end, a good fuck.

Still, he was an optimist. Maybe this time would be different? He prayed to all the gods that this time would be different.

It took them a while to get dressed. Partly because every time they made eye contact they were drawn together, like there was some kind of bond between them, some kind of spell. It was as though now that they had tasted each other, now they had been allowed to touch, caress and love, it was impossible to do anything else. Eventually they were sat opposite each other at the kitchen table. Two large mugs of coffee, one black and one doused in sugar and cinnamon, were place between them. Geralt was munching on some toast but Jaskier found it difficult to eat in the mornings so he settled for watching Geralt eat.

“What are we going to tell Ciri?” He asked quietly.

Geralt froze and scowled at him. “Nothing.”

Jaskier sighed. He had expected that answer. He didn’t know why he’d gotten his hopes up for anything else. It had been said time and time again, they couldn’t date. They couldn’t love each other. They were friends.

Friends that were in love.

Or was it only lust and infatuation?

No. For Jaskier, at least, it was love. He knew love. He knew the way it made him feel. He knew the longing in his heart, the way he trembled under Geralt’s touch, the way Geralt’s very existence made him want to sing.

He had to trust that Geralt loved him too. That against all the odds they had come together.

“Nothing, yet.” Geralt amended softly, taking Jaskier’s hand in his.

Jaskier smiled sadly. “Of course, and in the summer?”

Geralt shrugged.

“Geralt.” Jaskier moaned. “Please.”

“I don’t know, Jask.” Geralt admitted.

“Are you still angry at me?” He asked quietly.

They still hadn’t really talked about the weeks when Jaskier had effectively ghosted Geralt. It was painful for both of them, for whilst Jaskier had had the right intentions, the sudden cut off of their growing and intimate friendship had acted like a knife in Geralt’s back. He was usually slow to trust, unlike Jaskier, and Jaskier’s quick and thoughtless actions had burnt away that trust.

Geralt frowned as he considered the question, a storm brewing in his gorgeous eyes. Jaskier turned his wrist and gripped Geralt’s hand so he couldn’t pull away.

“I’m not angry.” Geralt sighed. “You did it for Ciri.”

Jaskier bit his tongue so he wouldn’t interrupt Geralt.

“I’m cross at myself.” The fireman continued. “I didn’t have your strength to stay away, and now I’ve put everything at risk.”

“Geralt,” Jaskier breathed “No. You haven’t.”

“I have!” Geralt snapped. “You could lose your job, Ciri could lose her teacher, I could lose you.”

“We can be careful.” Jaskier insisted but Geralt just scoffed. “We can!”

“Is this being careful, Jask?” Geralt growled.

“Well, no. Not exactly.” Jaskier admitted. “But it’s one week of lover’s bliss whilst no one else can spy on us.”

“And then after that?” Geralt grumbled “When I see you at school? The next parent’s evening?”

“Then we will have to act.” Jaskier said stubbornly. “Staying away from you was too hard, Geralt, dear heart, please.”

“Hmm.” Geralt’s jaw was clenched and Jaskier could see the tension he was holding in his shoulders.

“I just think we should have a plan for summer. If you still want me around by then.” Jaskier said, his fingers tapping anxiously on the table.

“I will.” Geralt answered firmly.

“You can’t know that.”

“I do.” Geralt insisted.

Jaskier narrowed is eyes at Geralt and then swiped up his mug of coffee. It was too early for this. He licked his lips, the taste of coffee and cinnamon clung to them.

“Yeah well.” He hummed, not quite believing Geralt, not believing that he could be enough to hold his attention for that long.

“We’ll tell her we’re friends. Go from there.” Geralt suggested.

Jaskier glanced up at his lover through his eyelashes, not quite brave enough to full on look him in the eyes. Geralt’s gaze was unwavering as always. Melitele, the intensity of it would be the death of him one of these days.

Jaskier leaned across the table and pulled Geralt into a searing kiss that made his whole world spin.

When he pulled away he let his forehead rest against Geralt’s. “Ok, dear heart. You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“So you’ll come over tonight?” Geralt asked.

Jaskier nodded. “Or you can visit my flat. I could teach you how to play piano!”

“Hmm.” Geralt answered dryly but there was a small smile gracing his lips.

“Although,” Jaskier sang mirthfully. “I think sleeping with one of my students would be a step too far even for me.”

“Jaskier.” Geralt snapped and gently cuffed him over the back of the head.

“What?!” He laughed.

“Get out of my house, Jaskier. I have to go to work.” Geralt grumbled with an exasperated smile.

“Alright! Alright!” Jaskier downed the rest of his coffee and picked up his lute case. “I’m going, my dear, but I shall see you tonight.”

He placed a kiss on the top of Geralt’s head and ran for the door. If he was lucky there would be a bus back to his part of town soon.

He hummed happily as he skipped from the house towards the bus stop. It was going to be a brilliant week!

___________

Next

[shytiff]

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

[youngjusticeslut]

Becoming Together

So everyone knows how much I love @tessaart​ right? No? Well, I’ll make it known. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for my artist made in heaven? Ya, that’s this beautiful soul. Just randomly surprises me w/cute art like this. And then this cute art... inspired a 6k one-shot. So, enjoy that fam. If you hate reading on Tumblr, which, mood, here is the AO3 link, and the FF.net link. Otherwise, please proceed below.

Star City July 16th 18:04 PST Team Year Eight

“I’m gonna do it.”

Jade looked up from where she’d been setting the table for dinner. Two months at the Star City house, and it still didn’t feel any less strange. Nevertheless, she persisted in her attempts of normalcy. Lian was ecstatic when Jade picked her up from daycare, or administered bathtime. Those were the easy feats. The harder ones lied in simplicity. On a grocery trip, Will ran into a former employee and introduced her as his wife. She disappeared for the remainder of the day, and they fought about it for a week.

Some days, Jade wondered if she made the right decision coming home.

Other days, she’d keep her breathing even and her eyes closed, savoring the sensation of Will moving some stray hair out of her face, or a kiss if he was feeling particularly risky. She’d laugh and dance along to a song on the radio, at Lian’s insisting. At least once a week, Will would put Lian to bed early, and then he’d give Jade anything she wanted until she could no longer breathe.

Choosing to stay wasn’t easy; but it had its merits.

“Do what?” Jade asked, filling Lian’s sippy cup with more water than juice. She’d once laughed at Will for doing so and called him a stick in the mud. Funny how things changed.

Will turned the gas off and slid the pot to a cold burner, opening up the leftmost cupboard to grab three plates. “Shave. I think I’m done with the beard.”

She scoffed. “You said that last week.”

“I mean it now.” Will spooned a generous amount of risotto onto the first plate before holding it out to Jade.

“Mhm.” She took the plate and the one that followed, setting them on the table. “Did you dress the salad?”

Will frowned, clutching the bowl of greens tight in his palms. “You don’t believe me.”

“Not particularly. You like the beard.”

“I’m tired of it. It’s time to shave.”

“Then you would have, already.” Jade took the salad bowl from him, placing it in the center of the kitchen table. Then she paused, raising a brow as she glanced at her husband. “This isn’t about the other night, is it?”

“There are a lot of nights, Jade. Three hundred and sixty five of them in a year, actually. So you’ll need to be more specific.”

She smirked. “Look who’s grown a sense of humor. It’s cute, Red.”

Not too long ago, Will might have scowled. Today, he grinned. “I try.” He covered the pot with its lid before wiping his hands on his jeans. “Seriously though, what night?”

“Think about it.”

The night in question took place in the previous week, in which Lian fell asleep early. Will had started kissing her neck, and within minutes their clothes were on the kitchen floor. Things had been going splendidly until they weren’t. Jade liked it rough, she would be the first to admit that. She just didn’t exactly care to be rubbed raw by a beard.

Will came to the realization after a few moments, a blush tinting his cheeks once he did. “That night?”

“No, the night we ate canned ravioli for dinner, which was disgusting, by the way,” Jade sneered. “I can’t believe you feed our daughter food from a can.”

“Only on emergency nights where we--wait, don’t change the subject. My desire to shave has nothing to do with that night.”

“So, we’re not going to talk about the canned ravioli?”

“Jade,” Will sighed, already exasperated. “You don’t like the beard. Why are you arguing about this? I thought this was what you wanted.”

That much was true. Not that Jade would never admit it, for it wasn’t her place. So long as he was happy, she couldn’t care less what he looked like. If you asked her what she preferred though, then it was no beard all the way. She grinned, grasping his jaw in between her nimble fingers. “Didn’t know you cared so much about what I thought.”

He shrugged, trying hard to keep his blush from spreading. “I don’t.”

This was one of those opportune times that Jade would egg him on, goading him to the point of utter frustration. Lucky for him, Lian entered the kitchen before Jade could add anything else. Their toddler crossed her arms, wearing a large pout. “I’m hungry,” she whined.

“Good, because dinner’s ready. Did you wash your hands?”

Lian’s pout only deepened. “No.”

Jade scooped her daughter up, carrying her to the kitchen sink. “Let’s wash hands together.” It was easier this way. If she hadn’t of cut in, Will would go on another lecture about hygiene, and neither she nor Lian wanted to hear it.

Gotham City November 9th 23:54 EST Team Year Four

Jade would never get over her bitter contempt for Gotham City. Still, it was familiar. And familiarity was something she needed after trekking around the world for the better part of a year. The apartment wasn’t nice, but it was sufficient. Working electricity, running water, and a washing machine to boot. What could she say? Jade didn’t mind splurging after months of changing between a dirty kimono and beat up cargo pants.

Roy, though? Roy didn’t seem to care either way; they could have been living in an outhouse for all he noticed.

His research was growing to a point where Jade was starting to get concerned. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten, much less showered or slept. They’d both done a terrible job of keeping up with the necessities of living while on the search for Speedy, but this was supposed to be their break. Time to recoup, gain a few pounds back. Lay low and fuck around a bit.

She really wished they’d do more of the latter part.

“You’re doing a really shit job taking care of your wife, you know,” Jade sang, exiting the kitchen with a bottle of water. “Sexually, I mean. We both know that I’m the breadwinner in this union.” A few weeks ago, he might have smiled. She could still get him to smile, then. Now she was lucky if he even looked at her.

Roy’s gaze didn���t leave his laptop, instead pounding at the keys until another search result popped up. A quick peer over his shoulder disclosed that he was looking at a Brazilian tech factory. She snorted, shaking her head. “I’d cross Brazil off the list.”

“Why?” he grunted. “We haven’t hit there, yet.”

Jade shrugged. “Not secluded enough. I’d have gotten a drop on it if it was worth our time.”

“You’re not the be-all on Shadow knowledge. There’s no way you know everything. He could be there.”

The argument was commonplace for them now. Usually, she let it brew and bubble into a raging fire that ended with him throwing her against the wall and smothering her with his lips. Today, she wasn’t in the mood.

“Hey,” she began, trailing a finger down his neck. “If you have a good feeling about Brazil, we’ll try Brazil. But for now, take a break. It would do you good.” Jade slipped her arms around Roy’s neck, pecking it softly. He didn’t acknowledge her, so she pressed her lips against his upper shoulder; it felt more like a boulder than a tense muscle.

Roy shrugged her off, rougher than he had to be. It stung more than she expected it to. Without hesitation, Jade shoved away his laptop and stood in front of him; he knew better than to move her a second time.

He narrowed his eyes, red-rimmed and hollow. “I don’t have time for this shit.”

“On the contrary, Red,” Jade purred, her hands gripping both his wrists. “We have all the time in the world.”

A bitter game began between them. The line of sight remained unbroken, laptop temporarily forgotten. Blue eyes glared at gray. Jade smirked; he was actually listening. She took a step closer, and Roy swallowed, goosebumps appearing. “What do you want, Chesh?”

Jade shrugged, letting go of one of his wrists to trail a fingernail along his stubble. The shadow wasn’t a good look on him. “Go shower, Red. Take a nap. Shave. I’ll order something in.”

He scoffed, low and guttural. “What’s the point?”

“The point?” Jade cocked a brow. “Sleep and food are rather necessary to survival. The shower and shave are more for my personal enjoyment.”

Roy shook his head, turning it away from her penetrating gaze. “I can’t.”

“Sure you can. Soap is in the shower, and I even put out a fresh razor by the sink.”

“No, Jade, I can’t.” His shoulders slumped, head following suite. Jade waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. Every fiber in his body seemed to sag, finally collapsing under the weight of his doubts. She wanted to press, but something held her back.

She crouched down to her knees, gently sticking a finger under his chin and tilting it upwards until he met her eyes again. The blue stood out among the redness, begging her to understand. And she did. Jade had been around him long enough to guess what was troubling him.

It was no wonder he didn’t want to take care of himself; every time he looked in the mirror, he saw the boy whose life he stole. Or thought he stole, at least. Roy didn’t believe any of her attempts to convince him otherwise.

“What if I do it for you?”

Roy’s brow furrowed, confused by the ludicrous suggestion. She didn’t blame him. Before Jade had taken an interest in his life, she could have counted the number of people she cared for on one hand; and even then, there were still unused fingers. Caring was a loose term, better described as a general interest that could be stifled as a matter of convenience. As much as she hated to admit it, Roy changed that.

She couldn’t exactly pinpoint when she fell in love with him. It must have been somewhere in between the sleepless nights, the frantic pounding and the adrenaline of the chase. Jade wasn’t about to change who she was; she hadn’t even admitted her feelings out loud to him. Instead, she preferred her actions to speak for themselves. She’d married him, hadn’t she?

“I’m supposed to take care of you,” Roy muttered.

Jade shook her head, holding his jaw tight in her fingers before pressing a gentle kiss against his mouth. “Not today, Red.”

Star City July 17th 6:56 PST Team Year Eight

It was rather unwavering, being stared at by a three year old.

Lian had such an intense gaze, like her mother. The little girl was barely able to spell her name, and yet, in one glance, Will was sure she could see right through him. Terrifying, really.

“What’cha doing, Daddy?” she asked, swinging her chubby legs that dangled off the counter. It wasn’t every morning that Will tempted her with a mission; he didn’t blame her for being curious.

Never one to stifle her ever-growing curiosity, he continued to lather up his face, checking in the mirror to be sure he didn’t miss a spot. “Shaving.”

Lian raised a brow. She knew all about shaving; more than once, to ward off her boredom once Tara and Violet had gone, she’d sit on the tub while her Aunty Mouse shaved her legs. “Goin’ on a date?” she asked Will, cocking her head to the side. Whenever Lian had asked Artemis as to why she was shaving, Artemis would always answer that she was going on a date with disaster.

Will chuckled, glancing at his daughter with a softness he kept reserved for her and her mother. “Not exactly.”

“Oh,” Lian sighed, disappointed.

Her sad pout was too much for Will to bear. A normal father might have made a jest, or tickled away the frown. Will didn’t exactly consider himself normal; it was hard for him to show spontaneous physical affection to his daughter, despite the overwhelming amount of love he had for her. He was working on it, though.

Will bent down to her level, offering her a smile. “Want a kiss?”

Lian made a face, pout gone and replaced with a scrunch of disgust. “No! You got stuff on your face.”

“All the more reason.” Before she could clamber off the counter, he trapped her in his arms, planting a very foamy kiss on her cheek. Lian shrieked, bursting into giggles and trying to escape her father’s grasp. Will backed away after kissing her other cheek, unable to help the grin stretched across his face from the sound of her laughter.

Lian wasn’t finished, though. She pawed at his face, spreading the foam far beyond his beard and getting it into every crevice she could. Will tried to stop her, but was laughing too hard to get anywhere with it. By the time she finally had her fill, they were both covered with shaving cream.

Sure, he wasn’t the most touchy-feely father, but she loved him anyway. They understood each other, and for now, that seemed to be enough.

Will wiped the foam out of her eyes first, shaking his head at her. “You need a bath.”

“So do you!” she retorted, giggling soon after.

His laugh followed hers as he moved to run a bath. “What am I gonna do with you, Lian?”

“Dunno.” It was as simple an answer a three-year-old could give. Will appreciated that.

When the bath was full, he lifted Lian off the counter so she could undress. To his credit, Will attempted to help her, but that only sparked a repeated chorus of ‘no, I can do it’. Sometimes, he marveled at how quickly she was growing up. He still looked at her and saw the little baby in her mother’s backpack, laughing in the middle of a dangerous mission.

It was a miracle that Jade was still asleep by the end of Lian’s bath. He didn’t know how his wife managed to bathe her and end up dry. Every time he and Artemis attempted, they were both soaked to the bone. Then again, who could pass up a rousing battle between Aquaman (Lian), and the various evil sea creatures lurking in the tub? Will had Kaldur to blame for that one. By the time they were both dry, redressed and in their original positions, he was running far behind schedule.

“Alright, no distractions. I have fifteen minutes to shave, and then we can make breakfast. Deal?”

Lian nodded, messing with her pink headband. It was only a matter of time before it would end up on the floor, but Will would deal with that later. He picked up his razor and ran it under the running tap before angling it right under his left cheekbone.

“Scared, Daddy? Wanna hold hand?” Lian asked, noticing his hesitation. It was amazing how such a kind hearted creature had come from his and Jade’s genetics. Neither of them were ever this nice. It was sweet that his daughter was offering him the same comfort he gave her when she was scared.

Will set the razor down. “Thanks, Lian. Do you… want to help?” he asked.

Her eyes widened. “I help?”

“Yeah. But you have to be careful and listen to Daddy, okay?” It was probably a dumb idea to give a kid a razor, but Will was right there, and he wasn’t about to let anything happen. Lian took the razor in her hands before she nodded, face scrunched in determination. His instructions were simple, and he kept an eye on her the entire time; it was worth it to see the look on her face once she made the first pass. When she got bored, he took over, no longer apprehensive. The deed was done, nothing to do about it now.

When it was finished, Will wiped the remaining foam off his face, a little jarred by the smoothness of his cheeks. It had definitely been a while since he’d been clean-shaven. After applying aftershave, he looked at Lian, trying to gauge her expression. She was staring again. “What do you think, Lian?” he asked while rubbing his jaw.

The toddler pursed her lips, not unlike her mother, and tilted her head to the side. “You look funny.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, but beckoned him closer with her finger. Happy to oblige, Will leaned closer to her. Lian touched his face, giggling at the unfamiliar sensation. It occurred to him that she probably didn’t remember how he looked without a beard; he’d started growing it out shortly after her first birthday.  

“Still funny?”

Lian shrugged, letting go of his face. “It’s okay. You look like a baby.”

Ah, there was the brutal honesty he’d been expecting. Will didn’t know if it came from him or Jade. Perhaps it was both. He pouted, resting his hands on the counter. “A baby?”

“A baby’s butt,” she corrected before breaking into a fit of laughter. Will’s eyes glazed over, trying not to take it personally; she’d probably picked up the phrase at preschool.

While Lian laughed, Will cleaned the counter, giving her enough time to calm down. Jade would be waking up any minute, and he’d hoped to have breakfast ready before then. “That’s enough out of you, Squeaker,” he said once he finished, picking his daughter up. “We’ve got breakfast to make.”

“Pancakes?”

He mulled it over, trying to remember if they had the ingredients for pancakes. There had to be some mix leftover from last week, and Jade had picked up milk and eggs a couple of days prior. “I don’t see why not.”

“Yay!”

Will unsuccessfully tried to shush her, hoping to extend his wife’s slumber so he could at least make coffee. “Careful. If your mom wakes up and there’s no coffee, there’s a good chance she’ll leave us.”

He regretted it as soon as it had come out of his mouth. Lian’s face twisted, her cheeks tinting pink and growing tight as she mulled over his words. Will touched her head, smoothing back her bangs from her face. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

It took a few moments for her complexion to return to normal. Lian rubbed her eyes, glancing in the direction of her parents’ room. “Don’t want Mommy to go,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around Will’s neck.

“I know.” He rubbed her back, holding her close. It wasn’t up to him, though; Jade would come and go as she pleased. “I don’t want her to go either.”

Moscow December 30th 4:49 MSK Team Year Four

Roy trembled in her arms.

The dirty porcelain tiles remained cold beneath them, even though they’d been slumped against them for the better part of the evening. Jade kept her lips clenched tight to keep her teeth from chattering; her discomfort didn’t matter, not at the moment. Despite the cold, Roy was soaked with sweat. He hadn’t stopped shaking since she’d returned to the safehouse.

It was Jade’s fault he was like this; naturally, as most things were. She hadn’t introduced him to heroin, but she hadn’t stopped him either. In the beginning, she hadn’t seen the harm. If a little high would take away his pain, who was she to stop it? It was fun, at first. They’d stake out the local nightclubs, looking for information. She would hunt, and he’d get high. When they got what they came for, or didn’t, they’d have some fun on their own. Roy was a better kisser when he was high; more attentive.

Then it stopped being fun.

More of their money began to disappear. While she put a valiant effort at it, Jade couldn’t keep pretending that she didn’t know where it was going. If she let him continue, she’d lose him entirely.

Roy jerked straight in her hold. In an instant he was gripping the toilet, retching and gagging as if his life depended on it. She could do nothing but sit and watch, letting him be consumed by the very thing that did this to him.

“You’re okay,” she whispered once he was done, keeping Roy steady as he slumped back against her. “You’re going to be okay.”

Roy shook his head, dragging a hand through his hair, matted with sweat. “I can’t.”

“Stop talking.”

“No, I can’t,” he choked, crumbling against her. “I can’t do this.”

Jade shushed him, holding him tighter, trying to stop his shaking. “You don’t have a choice, Roy.” Her throat was rubbed raw from their argument the previous night. While he was out, she’d gotten rid of everything. Every needle, every trace of any addicting substance. Now, he was paying the price.

Her help in the search for Speedy, or heroin; she hadn’t given him another option. He’d tried, grabbed her wrist and almost broken it if she hadn’t of elbowed him in the gut. Jade could still hear the string of curses, the abysmal things he’d said to her. When Roy had finished, he stormed out. Without any money and nowhere to go, he returned twelve hours later. She let him sweat it out for a few hours; literally. By the time she gave in, his clothes were drenched and he’d been vomiting for the better part of an hour.

“Drink something,” Jade insisted, holding up a glass to his lips. She wasn’t surprised when he refused, just like every other time she’d tried. “Red, you’re going to pass out if you don’t drink. You’ve been throwing up for hours.” His skin was clammy against her palms, and despite her hold, he continued to shake.

When he didn’t respond, Jade grit her teeth. “Open. Now, Red.” Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his jaw in her hand, forcing it open. To his credit, Roy tried to fight, but he was far too weak to withstand her. He choked on the water, getting it all over both of them, but that was the least of Jade’s concerns. So long as some of it went down, she didn’t care.

Jade set the glass down, letting out a deep breath. Truth be told, this wasn’t how she envisioned her night going. She’d thought that Roy would be more stubborn, that he’d hold out on returning for at least a few more hours. Those few hours would have allowed Jade some much-needed rest, but here she was. Another sleepless night, making sure that her husband didn’t end up dead. It was too common to be cute, anymore.

“You look like death,” she murmured, smoothing out the knots in his hair.

“I feel it. It’s so cold, Jade.” Roy’s lips were looking a little blue. She cursed and leaned him against the wall, making sure that he was held up-right before going to get a blanket. The one on the bed was thin, but it would have to do. Once wrapped around him, it did nothing for his shaking, but he insisted he was better. “I think I’m done heaving. There can’t… be anything left in me.”

She hummed, resting her head against the wall. Exhaustion was starting to set in, but she wouldn’t allow herself the pleasure of sleep. On the ceiling above them, a spider dangled precariously from its web. “You’d be surprised. Do you want to lay down for a bit?”

Roy shook his head. “I don’t think I can get up.”

“Then don’t. I’m not going anywhere.” He must have been drained, for he didn’t even look at her oddly. Instead, he just sank down and rested his head on her lap. She didn’t mind being a little softer with him, now. He wouldn’t remember it when he was past his detox. Her fingers gravitated to his neck, smoothing down his hear with a feather’s touch.

“This can’t happen again, Roy.” Jade swallowed the dryness in her throat, hoping to sound less raspy. Less pathetic. “I won’t sit around and watch you kill yourself. You have to start trying.”

Roy touched her knee, giving a light squeeze. “You can’t leave. I need you.”

She nodded, hoping that he meant it this time. “Okay.”

Star City July 17th 8:12 PST Team Year Eight

Jade gave Will a lot of shit, and enjoyed nitpicking on the little things. Like his sense of style, and his taste in cereal. How could anyone blame her? The crap he ate tasted like flakes of cardboard. To his credit, however, she’d admit that he was smart. For the most part, he was observant, and quite intelligent.

Not intelligent enough to remember that she never slept more than three hours at a time, but that worked to her advantage.

She liked hearing Will and Lian in the morning. With her breathing low and ears cocked to the conversation, she could make out almost everything. Will was good with their daughter. Jade wasn’t comfortable enough to say it to his face just yet, so she let herself indulge in this silent pleasure. He didn’t know she was doing it, and she got to lay in bed. Win-win, really.

This morning, however, Jade couldn’t quite make out what the two were up to in the bathroom. The room was just far enough away that their conversation remained murky. Very odd. Lian’s bathtime wasn’t until the evening. She pulled up every possibility, but couldn’t come up with an answer. Finally, she chalked it up to an impromptu need for a bath, and left it at that.

The smell of coffee permeated the bedroom, signalling to Jade that it was time to get up. She preferred tea, but Will drank coffee in the morning. So she drank it now too. The bitterness was nothing compared to the sweetness of their daughter’s smile. She pulled herself off the bed, grimacing at the creak it made. Sooner rather than later, she really needed to buy Will a new bed. Lian slept like a rock now, but that wouldn’t last forever.

A shriek came from the kitchen, followed by a stream of giggles. Will said something Jade couldn’t make out, but she let it slide. The two were having fun.

Jade touched a photo on the nightstand, Lian and Will on a trip to the beach. Lian’s face was covered in pink ice cream, and Will looked so at ease. That’s what made her happiest in all of this. Whether she lived with them or not, their daughter brought him ease. Just for that, she was sure that having her was the best decision she’d ever made.

After brushing her teeth, she ambled to the kitchen, taking her time and letting the smell of coffee fill her nostrils. Despite the taste, the smell was one of her favorites. It smelled like home, this home, and nothing of the past.

Jade lingered in the doorway, watching as Will held Lian in one arm while he cooked breakfast. Any second, he’d notice her there. Until then, she was content to wait, and watch.

Metropolis January 28th 2:59 EST Team Year Five

Jade’s bags had been packed for days, but something held her back from leaving. Lawrence had always called her dumb for a reason. There was a nagging feeling inside her, wanting, needing to give him another chance.

But Roy didn’t even see her anymore.

He was all too consumed by his search, an impossible search for a boy who probably perished long ago. He didn’t see how she needed him. How much he mattered. Perhaps he never would, and it was time that she realized that.

She’d done everything in her power to help him. It pained her to give up, but what could she do? Roy was too far gone now, too obsessed. Once upon a time, she thought she could help him. Maybe even save him. At this point it seemed only finding the real Roy Harper would save hers, and that was a mission she could no longer help with.

And neither could the baby growing within her.

Jade didn’t know what she was going to do about it, but staying with Roy was no longer an option. She began spending more time away from him. Her old contacts set her up with quiet gigs, ones where she could make easy money without alerting anyone to Cheshire’s resurfaced presence. If Roy noticed, he said nothing.

On the day that marked her officially one month along, she decided it was time. There was no plan, nowhere for her to go, really. Paula might have her, if she told her she was pregnant. It would be nice to see her again, even just for a couple of days. Jade was near-certain that she’d throw her out after telling her she was going to abort the baby, but she’d savor the time before that.

She entered their apartment for the last time, fully ready to grab her things and leave. The lights were on. Roy’s laptop sat on the coffee-table, closed. Her ears twitched, hearing the tap close in the kitchen.

Jade kept her hand nestled in her jacket, fully prepared to whip out a katana at a moment’s notice. Without making a sound, she crept to the kitchen, pausing when she was right by the doorway. Something sizzled on the stove. A song was playing, one she’d heard before.

“It’s just me, Jade. Put the weapons away.”

Scowling, she lowered the katana before entering the kitchen. It was almost as if she were dreaming. Roy stood by the stove, stirring a pot. The kitchen was clean. He put the music on pause before looking at her. “Hungry?” “I could eat.”

“It’s nothing fancy, I just reheated some soup. You liked the soup from the bodega down the street, right?”

Jade swallowed. With no time to waste, she grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him ravenously. When was the last time she’d done this? Weeks? Maybe even months. He returned the passion, and for that she was grateful.

When they had their fill, Roy asked her if she could pull another lead from her contacts. There were new track marks on his arms. He must have been coming off a high.

“Yeah,” she said, hiding the thickness in her throat a little too well. “I’ll get us a new lead, Red.”

His smile almost changed her mind, convinced her to stay. But the broken man in front of her could no longer be fixed; not by her, at least. When he fell asleep, she rested a hand on her stomach and let out a deep breath. A child deserved a real father. A father who would take care of them, and love them. Right now, Roy wasn’t capable of that. Neither was she.

Jade lifted a hand to his face, caressing his cheek like she’d done so many times before. He didn’t stir, and for that she was grateful. In another world, maybe they could have been a family. Maybe she’d even consider keeping the baby, if he wanted it. He had the makings of a good father, deep down.

One last kiss, and she let him go.

Star City July 17th 8:17 PST Team Year Eight

“I’m hungry,” Lian groaned for the sixth time since Will started making breakfast.

He sighed, flipping a pancake over and resisting the urge to rub his temple. “I’m aware. I promise, the pancakes will be ready soon.” A tortured groan followed, and he sighed. “If I give you a donut, are you still going to eat pancakes?”

“Yeah.”

Will shot her a look, narrowing his eyes. “Promise?”

“Uhuh.”

“Fine. You can have one donut, Lian. But just one,” Will warned, going to the box and taking out a chocolate-covered concoction. It was a mistake ever buying these in the first place. If Jade knew he was feeding their daughter boxed donuts, she’d certainly have something to say about it. Lian cheered and took the donut in her hands, immediately setting to lick the sprinkles off. Her father watched her, wondering if he’d ever been that happy at such a simple task. “When you get tired of the sprinkles, do you want to help make the pancakes?”

Upon getting her approval, Will picked her up in one arm, careful of the coffee he was holding with the other hand. It wasn’t often that he did this with her, given their hectic mornings between daycare, Bowhunter, and whatever Jade had going on. But, he was off today, so why not? “Can Daddy have a bite?” he asked, trying to give a pout of his own.

With a dramatic sigh, Lian nodded, holding out the donut and allowing him the smallest bite. “Thank you,” he said, mouth full. After a sip of coffee to wash it down, he handed her the spatula and instructed her on how to flip the pancakes. Today was a day for learning, it seemed. First shaving, then pancakes. He gave himself some ‘good dad’ points for that.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood and he allowed himself a little smirk. He didn’t have too many talents, but knowing when his wife was lurking was one he was particularly proud of. “Are you planning to lurk there forever, or are you going to set the table?”

“Neither. I want coffee.”

Lian turned her head when she heard her mother’s voice, giving her a wave. “Hi Mommy.”

“Hey kid.”

Will tensed as Jade drew nearer, giving Lian a quick kiss. He sensed her pause, and a shiver went down his spine as her eyes raked him up and down. Before he could stop her, she grabbed his arm and yanked him around so he was facing her. He cursed, grimacing as his coffee sloshed all over him. Lian laughed, but his her giggle in a donut.

“Jesus, Jade, I was holding coffee,” Will hissed, shooting her a glare. “You can’t just…” he trailed off, noticing her stare. In all the rush of making breakfast, he’d completely forgotten the reason behind her stare. It wasn’t until she caressed his jaw that he remembered.

“You shaved.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t mean you get to go and assault me. Give me a warning next time, Chesh,” he muttered, waiting for her to let go of his jaw.

Only, she didn’t. Jade took a step closer, her hand moving to his cheek and stroking the smoothness. Did she hate it? Will couldn’t tell, her expression remained neutral. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at him for such a long time. Certainly not since she’d returned home.

Finally, Jade smiled. Not a smirk, but soft, and genuine. “So handsome,” she purred. “Can’t believe you went through with it.”

A hot blush spread across Will’s cheeks, not used to such compliments from her. “Stop making such a big deal of it, I told you I would.”

“And so you did.” Before he could make any more complaints, Jade pulled him in for a kiss. For the briefest of moments, he forgot about everything else except the taste of her kiss. The pancakes were probably burning, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t often that she kissed him like this, and he was going to savor it.

“Ew, Mommy and Daddy are disgusting!”

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Will and Jade broke apart, both of them glancing at their fuming toddler. “Gross,” she insisted, taking an angry bite of her donut. “No kissies.”

Jade chuckled, pressing another kiss to Will’s cheek before ruffling Lian’s hair. “Disgusting is a big word. Who taught you that, Kid?”

“Daddy.”

“Well, good on Daddy then.” Jade brushed past him towards the cabinet before grabbing the plates to set the table. Lian watched her go before shaking her head at Will, judging him with all the might of a toddler who hadn’t yet had breakfast. He acquiesced his daughter’s glare and returned to the attention of the pancakes, tossing the burnt one in the trash before starting anew.

Will held back on taking another sip of coffee, wanting the taste of Jade’s kiss to linger for just a little longer. The kiss wasn’t much, but it was as close to a declaration of love as she could give.

And for Will, it was more than enough.

[rickybowensfever]

LOVE SICK (friends to lovers)

WELCOME ZACH AND KYLIE TO THE WORLD. 

I read a book recently (Kiss Cam by Kiara London) that was the Friends to Lovers trope and this one scene didn't show up, so I decided to add new characters and write this scene myself but now it's a short story.

MEET THE CHARACTERS

Zach Perez - High school senior, Spiderman stan, low key, hopless romantic

Kylie Daniels - Also a senior in high school, basically she's a vsco girl, has been best friends with Zach since Kindergarten

Angela Perez - Zach's mother, RN, single parent  

Emily Perez - Zach's sister, currently in med school, 23 years old

Photo Credit: Brandon Woelfel photography. Jess and Gabriel Conte. I do not own the rights to this photo.

SUNDAY NIGHT

Zach is startled awake by a knock on his door, he hears his sisters voice, "Zach? I made some dinner if you're hungry"

"Thanks, I'll be right there" he mutters through the pillow his face is currently in.

"Are you feeling ok? You usually only nap when you're sick" she asked him suspiciously.

"I'm fine. I'm coming" he replied, slowly getting up from his bed.

He couldn't get the conversation from a couple hours ago to stop replaying in his head.

EARLIER...

As they sit on Zach's couch as the credits roll from the movie they just finished watching, Zach takes Kylie's hands in his and looks straight into her eyes.

"Ky...there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about" Zach tells her.

Kylie rolls her eyes at him. "Yeah, I figured since you never want to watch movies and you've been avoiding me all week. Talk" she declares.

Zach trembles as he tries to get the words out. "Uh-um.."

Kylie starts getting annoyed with him and taps her hand on her knee indicating for him to talk.

Zach takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and opens them back up.

"I know we're best friends and you've always said you want nothing more. But, I can't help it anymore. You're my dream girl and I've just been trying to find someone that will replace my feelings for you. But, I haven't felt the same toward a girl I've dated. That's why Amber and I broke up, I don't love her. I love you, Kylie".

Kylie quickly lets go of his hands and her head falls into her face.

"Zach, I can't. You know we can't" she tells him aggressively, grabbing her purse, keys and starts putting on her UGG boots.

"It just won't work. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose that" she croaks as tears start to run down her face.

"Sorry" she mumbles and heads for the door.

Zach stays in his position on the couch and watches her as she slams the front door.    

Zach shakes his head and walks down the spiral staircase to the kitchen for dinner.

"There you are. It's going to get cold if you don't eat it now" Emily told her little brother.

Zach grabs the plate of Penne pasta with tomato sauce his sister prepared for him and sits at the breakfast bar, quietly picking at his food.

"Ooh, Em. Thank you so much for making dinner. It smells great! I'll take some to work. Long shift tonight"

"Mom, it's really nothing. I don't mind!" Emily exclaimed.

Angela took the pasta dish and started scooping some into a Tupperware container.

"Zach" his mother called his name and studied him. "You've been awfully quiet. Is everything okay?" she asked.

Zach nodded. "Yep, just a little tired," he replied.

"Alright" she said and pressed the lid onto the container.

"I have to go now. I'll be home around noon tomorrow. Call the hospital if you need anything"

"Will do!" Emily said. Zach nodded.

Angela kissed her children, took her bags and scurried to the door.

Zach pushed his plate to the center of the table. "Em. Sorry, but I'm not really hungry".

Emily frowned at her little brother. "Okay. This is the last time I'll ask. Are you alright?"

"Yeah. I'm really just tired" he lied. Kylie's words kept replaying in his head.

Zach, I can't. You know we can't.

He couldn't concentrate on anything.

Later that night, Zach sat in bed thinking. He should've known better. There's no way he could go to school the next day. It would be awkward and Kylie would be really cold toward him.

MONDAY MORNING

Zach wakes up the next morning too embarrassed to face an irritated Kylie at school.

His mom went into work at midnight and won't be home until the afternoon.

He hasn't been sick all year, so it should be fine if he stays home.

He dials his mother's number and starts coughing into the speaker as he hears her pick up.

"Zach? Is everything ok?"

"Mom..." he says in a raspy voice and sniffles.

"Are you okay?" she asks, now hearing the concern in her voice.

" I feel really sick. I barely slept last night and I think I have a fever. Can I stay home from school?" he says and starts coughing again.

"Oh, of course. I knew something was wrong last night before I left. I'll let Em know. You just get some rest, drink fluids and there's a thermometer and some Advil in the medicine cabinet in the hall bathroom. I'll be home around noon" his mother declares.

"Thanks. Love you" he says into the phone and ends the call.

Yes!  Zach whispers to himself.

Zach lies his head down onto his pillow and begins to text his friend, Dominick who he and Kylie carpool to school with.

Z: Sick with a fever staying home sry

D: Damn alright. I'll just pick up Kylie then. Feel better bro

Z: thanks

Zach leans over to the radiator by his bed and places his forehead up to the furnace to fake a fever.

Then, he hears a knock on his door and his older sister, Emily walks into his room and he lies back in his bed, letting out a train of coughs.

Emily winces as she hears her brother coughing.

"Hey, Mom called and said you're feeling sick?" she asks him.

"Yeah, I think I have a fever" he mumbled.

She takes the back of her hand and feels his forehead.

"Oh wow. You're burning. Let me take your temp" she says as she shows him the thermometer in her hand and places it in his ear and waits for it to beep.

Once the thermometer beeps, she reads it to her brother. "Yikes. 101.2 I have to leave for my internship at the hospital. I'll be back around dinner time. Text if anything changes or if you need anything. I knew something was up last night. You were really not acting like yourself. Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. I'll bring up some Advil and water before I leave" she says in a strict tone.

"Thanks" he says.

"I'll be right back" she says and exits her brothers room.

Zach rolls over to his side and within minutes, trying to go back to sleep. He hears Emily's footsteps in his room and feels extra weight as she places a cold rag on his forehead and quietly leaves his room, closing the door.

"Hey, I left some Advil and this should help bring your fever down. Get some rest, feel better" she whispers and exits her little brothers room.

Once she's left, he grabs his phone and takes a selfie of himself to post to his Instagram story with sick emoji attached, so Kylie will see it.

Then, he falls back to sleep. Setting an alarm for 11:30am so he'll be ready for is mom to get home.

Kylie's POV

"He's definitely faking, Dom!" she exclaims as she shoves her phone in his face showing the photo of Zach on his Instagram story.

"Dunno. He looks pretty sick to me" Dominick says and shrugs.

"No, he didn't want to face me after last night. He said he loves me!" she exclaimed.

This makes Dominick start cackling and he shakes his head.

"Girl, you're oblivious. He's been in love with you since kindergarten" he tells her.

This makes Kylie roll her eyes, she slams her hand on her knee and says,"I'm flattered, but it won't work. It'll only change our friendship and I don't want that" she explained.

Dominick just nods his head as he puts his car in park in the school parking lot. "Suit yourself" he tells her.

Kylie reads Dominick's current text message from Zach in the cafeteria for lunch.

Dude, can you get my homework? I'm prob gonna miss a couple of days.

"That's it!" Kylie exclaims. "I'm going straight over to his house after school, he was fine last night. He's definitely faking!" she says, getting angry at the fact that Zach is skipping just to ignore her.

"Eh, I don't know. I think he's actually sick. I don't know why you're so hung up about this" Dominick says and shrugs as he bites into his turkey sandwich.

Kylie grabs Dominick's phone out of his hands and starts to text Zach.

Man. How sick are you? Kylie writes.

Pretty sick. I feel like shit, think I have the flu or somethin Zach writes back.

Kylie's face is bright red as she silently reads Zach's text message.

"The flu, he says!" she scoffs and throws her hands in the air.

"We'll see about this" she says.

Dominick just shakes his head, rolling his eyes and yanked his phone from her hands.

Around 11:30 am, Zach's alarm goes off.

He feels strange. Fatigued, a killer headache, chills and his body is aching all over. He takes the rag that is dangling from his forehead and places it beside him on his bed.

He presses the back of his hand to his forehead and feels his fever is still lingering from this morning. He notices he's gotten warmer and grabs the nearest thermometer, places it in his ear until it beeps.

"102.0″ it reads.

Fuck. He whispers and lets out a groan. He didn't mean to actually get sick.

Then, he turns on his XBox to watch Netflix on his TV and chooses the animated movie, Spider-man: Into The Spider-verse and takes another photo for his Instagram story. This time of the Netflix screen loading while he's clearly lying in bed.

      Moments later, he hears the sound of front door shut, his mother dropping her keys on the counter and her footsteps as she heads up to his bedroom.

As she opens the door, Zach turns his head towards the door and lets out a few coughs.

"Hey sweetie. Feeling any better?" his mother asks.

"No" he groans. "Fever's up and I can't stop coughing″

"Aww" she says as she feels his forehead for herself.

"Ooh, yeah. You're burning. The cold rag must not have helped, then?" she asks him.

He just nods.

"Alright. Well I'll grab a new one. Have you ate? You want some toast?"

"Uh, sure" he says in a yawn.

Minutes go by, Zach's mother comes back to his room with a glass of water, a plate with toast and opens the Advil bottle sitting on his nightstand.

She hands him two Advil and a glass of water. "Take this, now" she demands. "I don't want you to get any worse" her voice strict now.

Zach nods, sits up in bed and takes the Advil and washes it down with the water. Then, lies back in bed covering himself in his dark gray fleece blanket and comforter.

"I'm going to get some rest. Work kicked my ass today.  I'll come check on you later. Love you" she says and kisses his hot forehead.

About an hour later, Zach wakes up shivering and a coughing fit ensues. He glances at his phone that is lighting up on his nightstand and grabs it, lying back in bed. The phone reveals an Instagram message notification from Kylie.

Kylierosexo replied to your story

hope you're feeling better 💞

Zach scoffs and drifts back to sleep.

...

Later, Zach wakes up to muffled voices from downstairs.

"Hey, Ky! Thank you so much for bringing his homework by"

Zach swore he was getting delirious. There was no way Kylie was there.

His plan had worked.

"Yeah, he's upstairs, in bed. Try not to get too close, he has been running a high fever all day. Poor thing".

Then, he hears footsteps and his door opens.

"Hey..." she whispers.

Zach lets out a train of coughs and lets out a "Hi" in between them.

"What happened? You were completely fine last night" she asks, glaring at his flushed face with a hand on her hip.

Zach shrugged. "Got sick overnight. I feel like shit " he mumbled.

Kylie takes the back of her hand and feels his warm forehead.

Kylie frowns. "Aw, you are sick".

Zach looks at her confused.

"Why? You didn't believe me?" he barked.

Caught off guard, Kylie stumbles on her words, "Oh, no I believe you now. I thought it was just a little unexpected. That's all".

Zach rolls his eyes and only says, "Cool".

"Zach... I'm sorry I didn't believe you"

"Whatever. What are you actually doing here?" Zach asks her in a frustrated tone meanwhile another coughing fit breaks out.

Kylie winces.

"Aw. Do you need anything?" she asks with a pout.

"Yeah, I need you to tell me why you're here" he demands.

"Zach, you're being a dick" Kylie tells him, raising her eyebrows.

"First, because I'm a GOOD friend and I saw your Instagram stories and I wanted to check on you to see if you were doing okay. Second, I wanted to talk ...about...yesterday" she tells him, hovering over his bed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be a dick. I just really feel super sick.  My whole body fucking aches and this fever is kicking my ass. What did you wanna talk about? I heard you loud and clear. Just friends" he says as he tries to make himself more comfortable in his bed.

"Zach. We've been best friends for thirteen years now. I love our friendship and I don't want to mess it up. I'm scared" she says gently to the boy with bright pink cheeks.

He groans and clears his throat.

"I'm delirious right now. So I'm sorry for whatever dumb shit I say. But are you trying to tell me something?" he asks, looking up at her with his brown, glassy eyes.

Kylie smiles and nods. She sits on the edge of the boys bed and runs her hand through his wet hair, full of sweat and kisses his forehead.

"Yes, silly. I love you too and I'm very sorry for the way I acted. I really shouldn't have stormed out like that. Our friendship is so special. But, I would also make a great girlfriend" she says and flips her hair.

Zach lets out a laugh that turns into a coughing fit.      

"I think so too. I'm sorry I was mean to you" he apologized.

"Oh, you're fine. I'm used to it. You being mean to me" she said humorously.

"Ugh, seriously? You're going to roast me while I'm on my deathbed? Thanks, a lot" he replied.  

Kylie laughed at him "Oh, you're so dramatic. You just have a cold"

"Yeah, a cold that is probably going to kill me" Zach declared while frowning at her.

"So...am I your girlfriend now?" she asked with puppy eyes.

"Oh. Ky. We're going to have to discuss this when I don't have an 102 degree fever. Cause right now I want to say hell yeah. But, I need to consult healthy me, first"

"Alright that's fair" she said then got silent and looked around the room.

"Uh.. you can come cuddle if you want? But it's cool if you don't" Zach finally said.

Kylie smiled. "I would like that. Just don't get me sick"

"No promises" Zach said, pulling her onto the bed with him, lying his warm head on her chest.

They resumed the rest of the movie and Zach instantly fell asleep.

      Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed Zach and Kylie and want more, give me some prompts or requests!

This story is on Wattpad if you want to see the photos that go with it. https://www.wattpad.com/story/197077634-love-sick-friends-to-lovers-sickfic

[goodlawdmaude]

Colombia and Peru 2019

3/7 SAN FRANCISCO --> BOGOTA

3/7-3/8

J and I ubered from ASF to airport, got through security, grabbed a drink at the terminal, then waited at our gate to board. Alarmingly, we heard our names over the intercom, but we just had to show our passports at the desk - no problem. A flight attendant on our flight got sick, so the flight needed 9 volunteers to get off the plane. This delayed us, but we eventually got off the ground. Slept some on the flight, had to go through customs in Mexico City, then through security to our gate. It was around 6am and light outside. Jarod resolved to start the day, but I wanted to sleep more. I slept for 30 great minutes on the flight, then watched Bohemian Rhapsody. The third person in our aisle was sketchy: late, on the phone (free WhatsApp), and importing a lot (per his customs form). We got through customs pretty quickly, then grabbed a taxi and made it to our hostel around 3pm. We rested briefly, then went out for lunch—arepas, chaufa arroz con pollo, and a special combo with seafood and rice in a divine yellow sauce. Jarod was starting to feel the full effect of his cold, but we went for a brief walk anyway through the center of town and the Museo de Botero. Lots of street vendors with various crafts and snacks, some alpacas, police with dogs with muzzles, cobblestone roads, sanitation workers in blue jumpsuits, green mountains in the background. While driving, we saw stark constrasts between shoddy roadside structures and the grand skyscrapers just behind them. Roads were paved and nice. We walked back, buying water at a nearby market, then took naps, showered, and went to sleep very early (8pm). On two instances, we were awoken by rowdiness in the hostel. Overall, slept 11(!!) hours.

3/9 BOGOTA-->MEDELLIN

3/9 Bogota-->Medellin

After our long sleep, we ate breakfast (eggs, fruit, bread, homemade jam, pancakes, lots of fruit) at the hostel, then asked reception to call a taxi for us. We made it to the airport and ultimately made it to the gate smoothly (despite one snafu: struggling to follow arrows to find el bano). Flight was super quick, it was hot when we landed, and we grabbed a taxi from a line outside. The ride to El Poblado was pretty green and undeveloped. It reminded me of driving in Costa Rica (narrow, windy roads), but the roads were paved and in better shape. We tried to drop our bags at the airbnb but couldn’t. We grabbed lunch at El Florez a couple doors down—very yummy healthy food. We tried the airbnb again to no avail. We walked around to take in the town. It was very green, hot and trendy - peppered with new-looking bars, restaurants, and shops. Dying of heat, we stopped for lemonades at a restaurant by the airbnb then went to get our key. We got in and hung for a bit--the airbnb was plenty spacious but nothing super fancy. We grabbed a drink at El Jenun(??)--J built his own gin and tonic while i had a fancy cocktail. We walked for a while--through some slightly seedier roads--to a gypsy/fox-themed pizza place for dinner. Grabbed a beer at Medellin beer company and J accidentally ordered a pitcher. Waitresses were scantily clad and hot; there was an old weird white dude who knew them all far too well. We came home, showered, and went to bed around 11pm.

3/10

After sleeping in until 9am, I straightened my hair (big deal) and then we went to El Pergamino for coffee and breakfast. I had a milky delicious chai latte and eggs with tomato and pesto roasted in a little crepe brûlée pan. The coffee shop was super trendy and cute. From there we walked to the Poblado Metro station and found our way onto the metro. It was very hot and pretty crowded but a really nice system. We got off to transfer to a gondola which took us over a poorer area--tin roofs, lots of graffiti, kids and dogs running everywhere. Then we got on a second gondola which took us over a final stretch of town and over a few miles of forest. The view was unbelievable. We were squished in with a Spanish family of 6 who were talking about how hot it was here and elsewhere. We got off and started exploring El Parque Arvi. It took us a while to realize we couldn’t hike the trails without a guide, and we couldn’t get a guide without booking online. We walked around and down the road where there were lots of street vendors and a couple restaurants. We got overpriced mangos. We headed back and went to grab lunch before seeing the botanical garden. There was mostly fast food. We got two empanadas to go and sat by the main area of vendors and performers in front of the garden. We went in, admires the flora, saw some iguanas, then headed out. We intended to walk to Cerro el Volador, but then the area we were walking through got a little sketchy and we turned around. We went to Explora Park--walked through the aquarium, reptile exhibits, and a room dedicated to the mind. By the time we were ready to leave, it was pouring. We ran to a taxi, had some confusion with the address, but made it back. We rebounded out for dinner (kebab house - mediocre) nearby, then got dessert across the street and wine and waters at exxito 

3/11

Woke up *early* 720 to get ready for our free walking tour through Real City Tours. Jarod made breakfast (scrambled eggs and an arepa) while I got dressed. We left a few minutes later than hoped, but hustled down Calle 10 to the poblado metro station and made it with time to spare to meet our guide. He wore a hat and a red shirt and directed our flock of 23 gringo ducklings onto the metro (which Jarod and I had already mastered the previous day), and we took it three stops north to Alpujarra. We got off, regrouped, and headed off to start the tour. It began with a roughly 20min history of Medellin. Julio told us how a big alcohol tax led the entrepreneurial locals to find smuggling routes to bring it into Colombia and how coffee grew well in its fertile soil and was a major export that bolstered the economy. He talked about the rise of cocaine and Pablo Escobar--how he and those over 30 remembered the terror and the violence and danger, but that younger people thought he was good because he “gave houses to poor people.” He talked about how the metro system showed the people that things could be better, and Medellin started its resurrection. We saw the old train station, the main government offices, the plaza of light (which used to be a crime hotspot but is now beautiful, adjacent to a library and the center of education). We walked through El Hueco, taking in the vendors and street scene to a church, empanada (with orange juice), and the Botero museum and plaza. We learned of the Belgian architect who had left his project because of all the shit-talking of the local people; the Paisas said they would finish it themselves... and did so very abruptly without following his complex blueprints. At this point, 4 members of our tour got lost. We walked to the metro stop from whose stairway a grenade had been tossed into a crowd; Julio explained Colombians’ short term memory as a necessity of resilience--and that one grenade wasn’t so bad compared to the volcano that killed 20k the next day. We walked down Junin street (a popular date night spot) and to a plaza where Botero has two bird statues- one that was partially destroyed by dynamite detonated during a concert; the other new to represent triumphing over that evil. There were cool murals of African American faces--allegedly the first freed slave in Colombia who ran away and beat up everyone that came to catch him. This plaza--especially the birds--was really powerful. A strong symbol of all that Medellin went through and rose above. After the tour, we grabbed lunch in the palace in El Hueco (creamed corn soup, salad, pork, rice and juice for roughly $5). We took the metro home and did a Nike workout and I thought I would die. We showered, hung out, then went to El Chagra for a 6-course tasting menu (we actually went for a drink, but were surprised by and obligated to do the tasting). All the dishes were focused on Amazon themes and resources- specifically the giant fish, Arapaima. The first course was a smoking drink that tasted spicy and cinnamony--a bit like fireball. The second was a delicious soup that was creamy and cheesy with yucca crumbs. The third was a potato/fish ball eaten with our hands and dipped in a spicy fruit sauce. The fourth was fish and chaufa rice. The fifth was sausage with fruit preserves and cherry tomato. The sixth was dessert--a brownie-like thing and a fruity ice cream. The whole meal ran 300COP (with cocktails which had a dazzling presentation of liquid smoke and a sandbox.. and tip). Before the final course, a man dressed as an indigenous Amazonian came to our table chanting and we didn’t know what to do. He spoke some dialect and then Spanish and offered us to use his pastes to paint on ourselves. We respectfully declined and he moved on. We went to a restaurant down the street for a drink. Jarod got a shot of gin *sin huelo* loll. The restaurant was upscale with several birthdays happening. They gave us hand towels which they made expand amazingly by pouring hot water on them. We went home to bed.

3/12 MEDELLIN-->LIMA

3/12

We woke up around 730 and did a Nike work out at home. Jarod made breakfast of eggs and arepas, then our taxi came and took us to the airport. When we got there, we couldn’t check in at the kiosk--it said we were on standby. We waited in line and the woman seemed to have some issues, but eventually gave us our boarding passes. We got through security, grabbed El Pergamino coffee/chai, and waited at the gate. Jarod got us sandwiches, fruit, and a chocolate donut thing to eat. We were sitting apart during the 3h flight :(. I read the whole time. We were fed on the airplane and I ate the meal despite being full. We got through customs easily and got a taxi to our airbnb in Miraflores (45min away... And during rush hr). We got keys from our concierge and went out for dinner. We had to wait a bit, but the food was delicious. Jarod are a risotto in squids ink with seafood. I had a pumpkin soup with shrimp, corn, and yucca. I was so full afterward and felt kinda sick but not too bad. Being in Miraflores felt like being in Santa Monica--it was an upscale beachside community with a nice mall. We went to bed HOT and I woke up once with an upset stomach, though it wasn’t too bad.

3/13

7 YEARS!! We set alarms around 730am but didn’t get out of bed until 830 or so. We headed out for a work out- running through several beautiful green parks on the coastline, then plopping in the shade for a circuit. After the workout, we went to a beachside cafe and ordered a coffee and a nutella/banana crepe to share. We stopped at home, rinsed my sunscreeny body, then headed to the mall, Larcomar. We popped into a cafe for parfaits and quiche, then went to the bike rental stand upstairs and got two bikes for one hour. After we paid but before we left, the bike attendant crashed/fell off his bike nearby. The irony was overwhelming. We biked along the beautiful coast, to the Bridge of Sighs, then back up a city street of Barranco. The Barranco main square was beautiful, with statues and beautiful plants peppered throughout the plaza. We rode back, returned our bikes to the attendant who was squirting Purell on his scraped knee, and went home. We did laundry, showered, and got ready for our walking food tour. (Snacked on plaintain chips and beers from the market downstairs while we waited.) A driver with an unexplained passenger picked us up around 520pm. He was very kind and gave us two (hot) bottles of water. We drove through traffic into the historical center, where we met our guide Ximena. We walked to a churro place that had a long line, Ximena scurried to the front, then returned with two churros--one with caramel (apparently an ancient sweet in Lima) or a sweet cream. They were scalding hot. We took them to a nearby monastery, with a gated plaza full of pigeons. Ximena told us that the plaza used to be a common place to sell goods that the pigeons and vultures were brought by the Spanish, and that it was still an important place of worship although only 20ish ppl were a part of the monastery (friars?). We went inside and saw into catacombs full of skulls and big bones. There were no cemeteries, so if one had the money, one would pay to be buried in that sacred space. From there, we went to the center of literature (which used to be a big train station, but now only one train goes and it runs maybe 2x/month). Across the street was the oldest bar in Lima. We went in and ate ham sandwiches with onion (pan con chicharron con sarza) and purple juice (chicha morrada - corn juice with cloves and cinnamon). From there we walked to the main plaza. Xime told us about the history of the buildings--the bell towers of the old church had been destroyed by earthquakes and rebuilt... the (some politician’s) mansion had been burned down (by ppl who wanted to scare him, but accidentally destroyed it) and rebuilt. It was a beautiful square full of light and life. From there, we walked to a nearby coffee shop where we talked with the brewer of Peru Uno, Oliver. He let us taste two of his beers--a Belgian trippel and an homage to Peru with chamomile and other local herbs/spices. With the beer we had fried bites called tequenos. Oliver was half Peruvian and have Belgian and very focused on sustainable business practices. He was super friendly and cool. From there, we walked a way to find a stop full of people--vendors with their carts as well as big mats on the ground for gambling and big circles around storytellers or dancers. We are mazamorra morada with rice pudding and another sweet rice that was brown from the sweetener. We then had the healing herbal drink emoliente and anticuchos. At each vendor, xime explained the prep in depth, asking the vendor details in Spanish then relaying the answers to us in English. From there we walked to an old bar for “supte artists” where we had papas a la huancaina, yucca rellena (my fave), and chilcano de pisco. People around us were getting TURNT--an old asian man could barely walk, a guy and girl had 8 beers (large) between them, 3 men had 14, and a table of three had a whole fifth of pisco (45% alcohol). Quite full, we struggled through our food. I finished my share, but J did not finish his! We then met our ride (after Xima first approached the wrong car), dropped Xime off, and made it home. During the tour, Xime said the most protested issue in Peru was gender ideology. We went to bed around 11.

3/14

We woke up around 730. I was feeling sicker than I had, but we set off for a workout anyway. We ran for 20min and did a 30min Nike training. We were dripping with sweat. We then headed down our street for breakfast. Jarod’s came with papaya juice and coffee and he got a water--so much liquid to go with his double decker grilled cheese (basically lol). We walked to Kennedy Park which was beautiful with lots of flowers and cats. We went to a supermarket nearby and bought waters, nuts, plaintain chips, and yogurt. We walked back to our place and chilled for a while. We snacked on yogurt and plantain chips during the afternoon, showered, took a nap, and enjoyed the beautiful patio of our airbnb. We watched a little bit of Coach Carter hehe. Then around 6 we set off for dinner at the ancient ruins Huelca Pucllana. It was a long walk during rush hour, but we made it (slightly sweaty) and were seated immediately (in the room not immediately adjacent to the ruins). We got Topeka? Appetizer—4 from the menu for two people--some delicious bread, and our meals (salmon and risotto for me; tuna and veggies and rice for J). We had pisco sours which were strong and delicious. We admired the ruins for a few minutes before walking back down a central strip of park-like walkway. We made it to park Kennedy and stopped for picarones-fried pumpkin and sweet potato dough. I thought we would get one donut, but we got 6, drizzled in syrup. We carried these home, smacked on a few, and packed up. We went to bed by 10pm in prep for our early travel day the next morning.

3/15 LIMA-->CUSCO

3/15

We woke up around 430 and started getting ready. We snacked on leftover picarone and banana, then went to head downstairs at 515. We were stopped by the man next door (Gerard?) who said he owned the building and worked at Cheesecake Factory in gheridelli square in SF and owned a house in Oakland. We talked for a few minutes and gave him the key (a relief to me; I was worried the doorman might not be there for a hand off). The doorman was there and called a taxi for us--though it took a while, our driver spoke some English and warned us (in spanish) about being robbed at gunpoint in Cusco. I slept during some of the ride and was very groggy when we arrived. We got through security and onto our plane smoothly. I slept against the window the entire flight, but felt super weird--and anxious about altitude sickness--when we arrived. We got off and found our way to a crowd of desperate taxi drivers, all in our face asking if we wanted to ride with them. We said no gracias to them all, then realized we did need one. Jarod was haggling with one guy for a 15s ride but he wouldn’t budge; another driver jumped in and said he would take us for 15s. We rode through more modern Cusco into the more ancient part where we were staying. We arrived at our hostel around 10 and sipped coca tea in the lobby while they prepared our room for us. (Very early but convenient!) our room was beautiful and spacious Jarod lay on the alpaca blanket at the foot of our king bed so as not to get it dirty. We hung for a bit, then went down the street for lunch, back home for the bathroom, then out again to the main plaza. A very friendly man outside a different restaurant said “ah hello guys, we have been waiting for you come on in.” We told him we had already eaten and pressed onward, making our way through people pushing massages, trinkets, and art prints at us. The main plaza was beautiful. Green and surrounded by old churches and hills. We went around the shops at the edge--with lots of aggressive vendors and high end alpaca clothing shops. We stopped to buy sunglasses, then went to the Inka museum. We learned about the pre-inkan people who used basic tools and made basic ceramics and relied heavily on llamas and alpacas. The Incas themselves didn’t develop until ~1100 AD (news to me). They too made lots of ceramics and basic tools as well as little sculptures of animals and foods to sacrifice to the gods. The section on Spanish conquest was unclear because all the signs were in Spanish. It seems they put into power lots of Incan leaders who were pro-Spain and then screwed them over. When we were finishing up, it started pouring rain. We waited briefly for it to let up, then hurried home in the rain. We were struggling to breathe pretty often (>11k feet). At home, we got snuggly and took a nap. We found a dinner spot and went there around 5pm lol. Jarod ate alpaca for the first time. The place was empty and the chef was very sweet and cute and fed us aguaymanto which were delicious. The food was really excellent. We did have some comedy with the light above us--she turned it off to set the mood, then a young girl Came in later and turned it on above us without saying anything... we turned it back off, then the chef asked if we wanted it or not. On the way out, she asked for a tripadvisor review which i will happily write. We went to scope out prices of (fake) alpaca products and desserts. We went to a few stores and saw small “alpaca” blankets ranging from 40s--35s. We will go back to buy one or two before we leave. We bought a brownie and slice of chocolate cake nearby, then took it back to our room to feast on in our king bed. We watched some Simpsons in spanish, then read for a while. We went to go to sleep around 10, but I couldn’t sleep. Felt like I didn’t sleep all night--was up thinking. Maybe too much coca tea (inulin is stimulatory).

3/16

We woke to our alarms around 630, but didn’t get out of bed cuz I felt like I hadn’t slept. Finally got up around 9 and got breakfast at our hotel, which was delicious-especially the cornbread. We chilled in our room and prepped for the day, then ventured out. First, we went to San Pedro market. The streets outside were overflowing with vendors selling hard boiled quail eggs and slices of various fruits. Inside the main market place was literally everything. There was a hot food area, a line of juice vendors, butchers bakers, herb-sellers, woven goods vendors, and more. On the far side, we walked down a street lined with shops selling whole chickens (their naked bodies and weird feet displayed prominently). We then found a second, less touristy market place with more hot food, some dye stands, and even a haircut shop. We walked back and stopped for tamales, but didn’t have small enough bills so the woman sent us away. We found our way back to the plaza des armes and sat down for lunch--Jarod got pizza and I got chicken. From there, we started walking (steeply up) to Sacsayhuaman. We found a nice church with a fabulous viewpoint, then continued along the road to the main gate. There was a guard who said the ticket office was closed and we had to buy tickets in the plaza des armes. We were not motivated enough to walk there and back (still constantly out of breath from the altitude), and it was starting to sprinkle, so we headed home. We hung around home until we had to go to our pre-trek meeting. There were two people missing at the start--who came in 20minutes late absolutely breathless. The guide went over the plan for the next couple days. Everyone was young and seemed outdoorsy and ready. This trio of Australians had bought a lot of the recommended items on the packing list. I felt anxious and a little intimidated. We went to inkazuela for dinner, where we are delicious stews and fresh baked bread. A group of maybe 20 annoying Americans came and sat down and were so loud as we were paying. Embarrassing. We went home and packed and tried to go to bed early because we were waking up at 330 for a 4am pick up to start the drive to start the hike for Salkantay!!

3/17 BEGIN SALKANTAY 

3/17 - Day 1 Salkantay 

We woke up at 330, finalized our packing, and waited in the lobby briefly before our guide, Erick, arrived to pick us up on foot. He lived nearby our hotel in San Blas. We waited with him for the van, which didn’t seem to be where it was supposed to be. We got everyone picked up (including 3 bonus ppl who were doing a separate one-day trip. They were Thai but our guide Erick had told us they were Chinese lol.) We drove for about 2h on a windy bumpy road, I tried to sleep, but it was fitfull. When we stopped for breakfast I felt like actual shit and was worried I was getting altitude sickness. Jarod didn’t feel well either. I looked at the trekking route and realized we wouldn’t be much higher than Cusco, and this relieved me. We had a big breakfast (eggs, bread, fruit and yogurt, juice, coca tea), and sat by ourselves while the rest of the group bonded. We both started to feel better with the food and fresh air. We got back in the vans and drove another hour before getting off, sunscreening up, officially doing intros with our hiking group, and hitting the trail. Jarod and I were at the front with the other Americans, Chris and Alex from Buffalo, New York. The Australians, Emma, Ben, and Nick, were in the middle, with the Austrians, Anna and Patrick at the end. The start of the hike required some elevation climb, but then it evened out and we walked along an aqueduct in the mountainside for the majority of the trek. I accidentally called Emma Anna when asking her to take a photo. We made it to camp around 12? We were assigned Sky camps, which were tiny but beautiful glass comes with little twin beds in them after a 3-4ft doorway. I read and fell asleep for 7min before it was time for lunch). Lunch was a huge feast--the food was good but a bit cold. We then rested for half an hour and then hiked up to the lake. It was a relatively short hike, but quite steep. I was very out of breath, but led the charge alongside Chris. Anna and Patrick were lagging so far behind, Erick told us to go ahead and then wait at the half way point. Chris and Jarod and I led, waited for the group, then went on some more. The field we were walking through was full of cows and horses grazing, flanked by giant hills on either side. We walked up and over the top and found ourselves at a stunning blue lake. It was breathtaking, with streams from a snowy mountain running into an aquamarine reservoir. We took some photos, then climbed up a ridge along the side, from which we could see the lake as well as the grassy valley we came up through. It started to rain and we saw a beautiful rainbow in the valley but also needed to hurry back down. Everyone put on our ponchos and took a picture. I got my walking sticks for the way down, and they helped on the muddy parts but made me very slow. Jarod and I lagged behind the group as we all charged down the hill. We made it back, met as a team for tea time at 530, then dinner at 630. They had given us snacks, but we didn’t really need them because we were fed so often and so well. (I still ate my cookies earlier.. because they were delicious hehe). We got ready for bed after dinner around 8. I had a swig if Nick’s pisco before bed, then crawled into my sleeping bag and tried (but struggled) to sleep. I got up at 1am because Jarod was getting up. I hissed after him that I wanted to come to the bathroom, but he didn’t hear me. When I stepped outside, he was standing there. (He has walked toward the bathroom and been startled by a cow and come back loll). After that, I had a very hard time sleeping.

3/18 - Day 2 Salkantay

Started to climb, through some grassy fields, up the “Gringo killer” and to Salkantay summit, where it started raining. Emma had to breathe from an oxygen tank at the top (she had had severe altitude sickness in previous visits), and the Austrian couple took horses to the top to save their legs. On the far side of the summit, our trek got truly miserable. Steep decline. Soaked head to toe. I remember thinking, “Wow, we paid to do this.” We got to our midway lunch spot, where I tried to dry my socks, and we commiserated with our group. Thankfully, the rain let up, and the rest of the hike descended into warmer, more tropical forests. For tea time, they made us a freaking cake. We paid to use a shower and went into our little thatched-roof huts, a tiny space with one large bed. I had a dream that I had no feet (likely brought on by the extreme pain I felt in all of my joints!).

3/19 -  Day 3 Salkantay

Started the trek with Erick painting our faces with berries. By this time, felt VERY bonded with the group. The hiking this day was much tamer, flatter roads, less extreme climbs/drops, and a fun little cart that we rode across a river. We stopped by a coffee plantation and had lunch there. We took a van some stretch of the drive to end up at the trailhead to Machu Picchu. We went out with our group for dinner, and I felt excited but also sad to be so close to the end of our time with them. 

3/20 - Day 4 Salkantay (Machu Picchu!!)

Got up to start the trek to Machu Picchu around 5am(?). It was pitch black, and we CHARGED up the mountain, often annoyed that the people in front of us were not immediately letting us pass them. By the time we arrived at the gate, there were maybe 20 people in line, and we were drenched in sweat but also STOKED to be there. It was pretty chilly and very misty, so we had a few minutes of great visibility, but lots of fog other than that. Erick gave us a tour and some history, then (VERY SADLY) left us. Our group was a little devastated. We explored on our own a little, then headed back down as droves and droves of tourists poured in. We took a bus back and ate lunch (and many beers/pisco sours) at a small cafe while waiting for our train back. We eventually got on a train, which took us to a bus, which took us back to Cusco. We had booked a nicer room so that we could soak up the luxury after some very tough days on the trail. We met the Australians and the Austrians for drinks, and ended up staying up pretty late playing games and chatting with them in a Cusco bar.

3/21 CUSCO-->BOGOTA

3/21

We were awoken at 8 by a mysterious knock. I had some stomach trouble, then came back to bed. We got up at 845 to get breakfast. We ate the hotel breakfast, then went to our room to pack. I was feeling very sad to be leaving, nostalgic for our time on the trail. We packed, left our bags at the front, and went to go buy some “alpaca” blankets. We got two bracelets for J, three small paintings, and two alpaca blankets. The lady told us they were 50s even though we had been to the store before and been told 40, and had seen them elsewhere for 35. Jarod got her down to 40 and we left with them. By now I was hungry and emotional and tired, so I started to tear up over indecision with where to eat. We sat at a cafe and had 11s sandwiches. We went back to the hotel and had them call a cab. We arrived at the airport and checked in, then strangely waited in a room before being allowed through security (not many intl flights out of cusco... seems to require its own protocol). We made it to our gate and onto the plane. I was happy to be sitting next to Jarod (he was K and I was E... but for whatever reason those two are adjacent...) we had steak and vino tinto on the flight ;). We took a taxi home - a man lifted our bags into the trunk then asked for a tip. When we got there, our hosts were nowhere to be found and it was pouring rain. A property manager came out and started talking at us in Spanish very quickly--I think saying that our hosts hadn’t told her anything. She somewhat angrily escorted us outside, and I thought we were going to have to wait there. She then showed us how to work all the locks on the door, then let us inside. We got wine and cheese at the grocery store and snacked on those for dinner

3/22

We woke up around 8 with plans to eat breakfast at home then head to la candelaria for a bike tour at 1030. All appliances rebelled against us. The eggs stuck to the bottom of the pan, and the eggs that didn’t stick barely cooked. I tried to put laundry in but the timer never went down; it just perpetually washed. The toaster oven was a mystery of its own. Regardless, we eventually dined on eggs and arepas, and Jarod got the washer to switch to rinse then dry. We called an uber and got dropped off by the bike shop. We waited in a plaza and chatted with some other travelers. We embarked as a large group and found our way to a plaza with a statue of Simon Bolivar... talked about journalism... then split into two groups and departed. We biked to “the time square of Bogota” and talked about Germans convincing Colombians to drink beer instead of chicha... saw street art and discussed the battle between more/less formal forms... we biked through a neighborhood of mixed architecture and talked about the identity crisis in bogota... we rode to a park and snacked on fruits, then admired a giant map of bogota before riding past more street art (Jarod got a flat as usual), and to a big memorial for those killed in the civil war- tears streaming down the side of a building into a pool of water. We went to a coffee shop and talked some with our guide, Mateo. He talked about working in social services in London and suggested those services weren’t helpful. He showed impatience with others’ inability to learn english. We talked about the education system a bit then started our coffee tour. We biked down a more colorful street--with gov-commissioned art on all the walls. We rode through the red light district to a market for fruit tasting. We then ran across the street and learned how to play Tejo. It was really absurd and fun even though I was bad at it. Then we went back to the bike shop and paid. We got what was supposed to be a light lunch of ajiaco and a tamale to share - it was heavy. We walked to the main plaza and Gabriel Garcia Marques cultural center. We tried to stand outside our lunch spot to get WiFi to order an uber. Instead we went to a cafe and bought banana bread to get  their code. We went home, hung out, then headed to el chato for dinner. The host asked if we had a reservation, which we had a hard time understanding. Eventually we were sat at the bar. We got cocktails, the best order of chips and guacamole ever, lamb (Jarod), and fish with mushrooms (me). When we finished dinner, we went to the grocery store to buy more coconut cookies and then we headed home. We went to bed around 11.

3/23

We were slow to start in the morning. We made breakfast and did some research on Monserrate before calling an uber to go there. The uber got lost in a nearby national park and asked several ppl for directions but apparently few of them were helpful. We finally made it to the trail head and hiked the (very tough) ascent of 2000m. It took us about 50min; we arrived around 12. The view was beautiful but there were lots of ppl- even a mass going on. There were lots of stands for foods and trinkets. On the way down we got queso fresco con fruta. We then walked all the way home, zagging through la candelaria, stopping for bunuelos and empanadas, and then by the park for fruit and carrot cake. There were countless street vendors with hot dogs, coconuts, fruits, cell phone minutes, dried food, etc. We got home, napped and snacked, then showered. We went to Bogota Brewing Company around the corner. The waitress talked to us a lot very quickly and we were totally lost. She then brought us four drinks to try -- we were worried we needed to say something about them but didn’t even really know what they were. We ordered beers and a pizza and reflected on the trip and plans for going home. We went to the store for more coconut cookies, then home. We sat and ate for a little, then packed up and went to bed around 10.

3/24 BOGOTA-->SAN FRANCISCO

3/24

345am wake up - was awoken a little early by drunks in the street. Got ready and Jarod called an uber. Rode to the airport, got through immigration and security, wanted crepes and waffles but couldn’t find them. Had to go to the desk to check in (after hearing our names over the speaker). Alarms were going off while we waited... no one seemed to care.

[enigmasalad]

(Hey this is based off of one of nekoth19′s musicallys...again. WARNINGS: this fic includes violence, kidnappings, and other dark themes. If you get offended or react badly by these I suggest not reading, for your sake and mine. Enjoy)

Virgil sighed as someone knocked on his door. He had his sign up. The sign that let everyone know he was busy doing something. Usually when he was feeling really bad. He was currently working on a new makeup idea to distract him from..thoughts. However that had to wait. It was probably Patton calling him for dinner. However when he opened the door it was Roman. Virgil was about to say something but the prince's appearance caught him off guard. His clothes weren't the usual “prince charming” look. They were black and red. Roman's hair was also slightly messier. What made Virgil the most wary was Roman's expression. He had a wide smile. It was too wide actually. It made the younger side really uneasy.

“H-Hey whats up?” Virgil asked, trying to calm himself down.

“Its dinner time Virg.” Roman replied. His voice was a bit...darker.

“I-Im...not hungry.” Virgil said as he tried to close the door.

However Roman grabbed Virgil's wrist. A little too hard.

“Its. Dinner. Time. You don't want to make Patton sad right?”

“Roman let g-”

Roman then pulled Virgil out of his room and tightened the grip on his wrist. Virgil winced and tugged, in an effort to get free. However Roman began pulling Virgil with him. His sickening smile was still on his face. What's worse is they weren't going the way to where they usually ate. Virgil struggled but whenever he did Roman would yank him forward.

“Roman! Let go!”

“Can't do.” Roman responded.

Just then Virgil managed to break free. He immediately bolted down the hallway. He had to find someone. Anyone. He could hear the sounds of running footsteps coming closer. With another turn Virgil rushed into the commons. However something hard hit his head.

“Oh shit!”

Virgil fell to the ground and looked up. It was...Roman. Roman was wearing his usual clothes and actually looked normal. However Virgil was more confused than ever.

“R-Roman? What was the big deal?!” Virgil cried out.

“Shhh! I'll explain later. We need to be quiet though or he'll find us!” Roman said.

The prince helped Virgil up but they both fell down due to some force.

“Tag! You're it!”

Virgil looked up in horror to see the darker Roman. He took the bat that Roman had been carrying and smacked Roman in the head as hard as he could. The prince fell with a thud. Virgil scooted back as he saw the darker prince look at him. That was the last thing he saw before everything went black.

When Virgil awoke he was in some room. It looked like a basement. It looked like his room almost. Well it had the same vibe. It was dim and there were band records and even a cat pillow. However Virgil knew it wasn't his room. He sat up quickly but found himself in pain. He forced himself to get up . His neck and face hurt badly so he looked in the full body mirror. His face had scars on both sides of the mouth, forced up like a sick smile. On his throat was another scar. It was like someone had tried to slit his throat, but they failed. Virgil felt himself start to lose control. The room was growing taller as he stared at his horrific reflection. His ears started ringing to the point he hadn't heard the door open.

“Ah! You're awake!”

Virgil screamed and fell backwards. He didn't even have to look up to see who it was. He knew who it was.

“Sorry Virgil! I didn't mean to startle you.” The Roman impostor said as he knelt down. He was grinning and holding a plate.

Virgil shook and scooted back against the bed.

“W-What did you do?” he managed to ask.

“I made spaghetti. By the way, nice smile Virgil!” the demon laughed.

Virgil wanted to scream, cry heck even stab this guy if it meant he'd be back at home. Dark Roman smirked and handed the plate over.

“Ill cut you up and make you dinner. Any time you want my dear.”

Virgil shook his head but his stomach growled the loudest it had ever growled. He was a mouse In the corner.

“Eat. You haven't eaten a week. Of course I kept you under while I did your makeup. Funny what sedatives can do!”

Virgil felt sick in the stomach but he ate anyways. He forced himself to swallow the food. It was incredible but the anxious side couldn't care less. Oh god what if this was-

“Before you ask, no that isn't anyone. Just plain beef.” Dark Roman reassured gently.

As Virgil finished eating he began to feel very tired. The bastard had put sedatives in the food. He had to have. Before he knew it Virgil was being tucked into the bed.

“Good night my chemically imbalanced romance...”

That started a cycle Virgil wished was a nightmare. The Dark Roman wannabe would come in and feed him sedated food. Sometimes Virgil would be aware of what was going on but he couldn't move. Dark Roman would have Virgil's head in his lap and stroke his head. He'd hum sometimes too. Eventually Virgil was tired. He couldn't fight back anymore. He knew he was doomed and only hoped that the real Roman, Patton or Logan would find him. They were his last hope. Virgil decided that the safest plan was to give in and give the other sides time to find him.

“Can anybody hear me?” Virgil asked to no one. He knew the answer would be a no.

Just then the door opened. Dark Roman grinned and brought in a tray of delicious foods plus Virgil's favorite ice cream.

“Ready to eat my dear?”

“Sure.”

The two sat on the floor as Virgil ate. He started on his ice cream. Luckily Dark Roman didn't mind. In fact he looked sickeningly delighted as the boy ate his brownie ice cream.

“I love when I hear you breathing y'know. Reminds me of how perfect you are.”

Virgil just stared at the fake as he ate. That had to be the creepiest thing anyone had said ever.

“God I hope you're never leaving. You're more appreciated here anyways.”

“If I'm going to stay here can I know what you are? I know you aren't Roman.” Virgil asked calmly. He had to play it cool.

Dark Roman 's eyes lit up and his grin became more genuine. Almost like Patton's.

“Oh me? Well the dragon witch made me! The original Roman was stupid to underestimate her. So I snuck in and now we're here! Since Im the new and improved Roman I know most things he knows. When It came to the people he cares about you fascinated me. So dark..yet wonderful!”

Yeah Virgil was getting really creeped out. Strangely it wasn't like how he would usually be creeped out over the past....whatever.

“Uh...thanks?”

Dark Roman giggled and the two talked a bit more before Virgil was done. To Virgil's surprise the food wasn't sedated. Dark Roman seemed to catch on.

“I decided to see if you would be a good boy for me. So for a week I'm not sedating your food. If you're on good behavior I wont do it anymore. I'll even give you a reward!”

“That's....nice of you.”

Dark Roman laughed and pulled Virgil into an uncomfortable and cuddly hug. Virgil made sure to be on his best behavior so the others would find him. During the week he played Kingdom Hearts which Dark Roman so “generously” gave him.

“Tag, you're it.” Virgil found himself saying as he killed a heartless. He then stopped in horror.

He had to get out ASAP.

Virgil shut the game off and crawled into bed. He could probably take a nap before the demon fed him. However he heard the door knob be unlocked. He sat straight up as Dark Roman entered the room.

“Ah,was my good boy sleeping?” the faker asked.

“..about to.”

“Well sleep later. You should eat now.”

This time Dark Roman was eating with him. They ate sandwiches on Virgil's “prison” bed. Virgil noticed that Dark Roman kept staring at him. It made him shudder and feel uncomfortable.

“Do you know who the very best boy is to me?” Dark Roman asked as he wiped Virgil's face.

“I am?” Virgil asked.

The monster grinned and clapped his hands.

“Yes! Yes, Yes you are! You're my great boy!”

Virgil felt tired after eating but he knew it wasn't due to drugs. He yawned and snuggled under his covers.

“Sleep well love. Maybe tomorrow we can spend some time together.”

That sentence was the last thing he heard as he drifted off.

Then there was a loud banging noise. Virgil shot up in his bed and looked at the door.

“Virgil?!” Dark Roman called out.

“W-What?” Virgil responded. Dark Roman never acted like this.

Suddenly the door busted open as a body flew into it. Virgil looked at the person and realized it wasn't his captor. It was the actual Roman. The damned prince himself. When Roman caught sight of him his face was horrified.

“Oh god...what did he do to you?” he asked as he quickly walked over to Virgil. He cupped the anxious side's face and examined it.

“Uh...I don't know. I just woke up like this when I first got here.” Virgil responded. The feeling of joy induced tears was heavy in his throat and behind his eyes.

Roman picked up Virgil bridal styled and turned to leave. Virgil looked over at the door to see Patton and Logan standing there. Patton's hands went to his mouth and tears filled his eyes at the sight of Virgil. Virgil felt tears drop from his chin and onto Roman's arm as well. Logan's eyes were  a mix of anger, sadness and relief. Virgil was relieved to see his family once again. He was relieved to know he was safe.

“We heard you.”

[5saucefanfic]

We Don't Talk Anymore - 4/4

You all know how I feel about posting on mobile but I haven't been feeling well and my laptop is upstairs so mobile's just gonna have to do for right now... Ashton: It had been over a year since she’d last heard anything from Ashton Irwin. When the awful spilt had happened with the infamous drummer, she made sure to up and leave Australia and cut out any form of communication he could possibly have with her from changing her number to blocking him on every form of social media. It took a bit to adjust to the new life style and season changes, up and moving from warm and sunny Sydney to always cloudy London town, but she was adjusting, for someone that had left all her family and friends behind that is. Y/n was making her way down Oxford street in a hurry, coffee in hand since she was already late to meet this blind date Stasha had set her up on. It was her way of ‘helping’ the girl get over her obnoxious feelings for the drummer that she never could seem to get over. She took a quick glance at her phone noting the time and how she was much later than she should’ve been, mostly due to Stasha once again sticking her nose where it shouldn’t have been. She looked up in time to see a man walking out of the Cumberland, stopping short almost avoiding her, but almost wasn’t good enough because in an attempt to save her beloved white chocolate mocha from starbucks, she spilled it all over the blonde in front of her. “Christ,” he hissed pulling the shirt from his chest so it wouldn’t burn his skin, y/n looking up at the sound of the familiar ‘Straya voice meeting the bright blue orbs that belonged to Luke Hemmings. “Oh no…” she mumbled getting an awful feeling inside when he finally recognized the girl in front of him. “I...y/n? Is that you?” he asked furrowing his brows together as she looked away from him towards the door quickly catching a climbs of the brown mop she knew belonged to Ashton making its way through the lobby of the hotel. “I need to go, Luke,” she said trying to walk by the 6’4 penguin, only to be stopped by his wingspan crushing her in a tight hug. “Or not.” “We missed you so much!” he said excited, completely oblivious to the fact that his best mate, her ex boyfriend, was making his way through the doors to the lobby looking at him confused as he crushed a random girl to death. “Luke mate, I don’t think the girl can breathe,” Ashton teased as he watched Luke let her go, his expression changed when he caught a glimpse of her side profile, heartbeat quickening as his stomach dropped completely. “Y/n…? W-what….how long have you been in London?” “Long enough,” she mumbled looking at him for a moment seeing the heartbreak in his brown eyes killing her slowly as she wanted to reach out and make the hurt go away. But who would do that for her? “I...I’ve been trying to call you...we really need to talk,” he said reaching out grabbing her hand. “It’s important.” “I’m late for something, Ashton...I can’t just stop my life to accommodate you,” she said throwing the jab he knew was coming as he let go of her frowning more, if possible. “It was nice seeing you,” she mumbled starting her walk once again as he sighed. “If you change your mind...my number hasn’t changed,” he said watching her form walk away without any response. “I fucked up…” Calum: Magazines, radio ads, tv commercials...she just couldn't escape him, and after ten years of friendship and three years of a relationship, she didn't want to escape Calum, but she wasn't really given a choice. Not when he up and left her for his opening act, not even two weeks after the devastating split. And what made it worse was the three month old girl cradled in her arms nearly the spitting image of her father. “Bella,” y/n sang as she rocked the little girl from side to side trying to keep her calm as she prepared a bottle, her boobs sore and tender from pumping the night before not wanting to even think about the little mouth latched onto her trying to feed. “You get to see Grammy today while mummy works on a few things. Isn't that exciting?” She may not have told Calum about the small inconvenience to his life, but she sure as hell wasn't going to keep her from the rest of his family, who still couldn't understand why he would throw away one of the best relationships he'd ever had for a girl that couldn't even compete with his ex. Joy loved having Bella around, even agreeing to watch the girl every Tuesday and Thursday regularly while y/n worked to make an honest living. She slept most of the ride over, and by most, she fell asleep just as they pulled into the drive of the Hood household. The good thing about Joy was she was always prepared when it came to watching Bella having toys and spare diapers around, but y/n had extras just in case. “Hi joy,” she said walking into the house knowing it was unlocked just like it was every Tuesday, setting the diaper bag on the floor right by the door as she kicked it closed behind her not noticing the familiar hair that belonged to her ex and his girlfriend seated on the couch, their forms just out of her line of vision, automatically ready to walk to the kitchen where Joy usually was. “She just ate so she should be fine for a bit. I made a couple of bottles that are in the diaper bag, and there's-,” “What the fuck?” Calum asked startling her as she nearly dropped the carrier, head turning to see him standing from the couch. “What the hell’s going on?” “Calum quiet down. She's asleep,” joy scolded taking the carrier from y/n. “How long do you need me to keep her?” “Um...I have the training thing and I really need to go shopping so it shouldn't be too long, but a nap couldn't hurt,” y/n said trying to ignore that Calum was right there near her for the first time in a year. “About four?” “How about five and stay for dinner?” Joy asked not really giving her a choice, y/n nodding before quickly leaving the house without so much as another word spoken before nearly breaking down in the car. “Mom...whose kid is that?” Luke: “Oh my god….oh. My. god…” y/n mumbled as she looked at the name at the top of her snapchat lost its bold pink lettering showing that he had opened the picture. “Oh my fucking god” she groaned laying back on her bed tugging at her hair. Stressed was an understatement. She was full blown freaking out and there was nothing she could do to fix it. Sending nudes wasn’t something she had really ever done before, but when you’re lonely and the guy you like’s been asking for them, you just kind of decide it’s a great idea, even if you know it shouldn’t be done. And then... you accidentally send them to the wrong person. Her phone started vibrating repeatedly, and she didn’t need to look at the caller ID to know it was Luke calling her about the risque photo now a distant memory to them both. The only thing saving her is the fact he was halfway around the world in the middle of a tour, so there was no way he’d come knocking on her door anytime soon giving her time to let this blow over before she saw him again. In three months Her phone started vibrating again, this time indicating the slue of texts coming in one by one. Answer the phone. We need to talk y/n Is everything okay back home? She sighed leaving his messages on read before turning her phone off hiding it in the drawer in her nightstand. It’s bad enough she just sent these personal pictures to someone they weren’t intended for...but of all people, it just had to be her best friend and crush. “Just….just ignore him y/n...he’ll just forget about it and you two can pretend this never happened…” she mumbled to herself as she closed her eyes sighing once again. Michael: “I haven’t seen Michael around lately,” y/n’s older brother stated as he tuned the strings on his guitar. “Are you two fighting?” “Not exactly,” she mumbled trying not to think of the last time she had seen him...the two of them naked, drunk, in Calum’s bed. His face buried in her neck a he fucked her slowly hitting every spot perfectly as she moaned his name, tugging on his blonde hair in pleasure. She knew the way he had taken his time with her it wasn’t just sex to him...and that scared her a hell of a lot more than it should’ve. She tried to shake the thought out of her head, reminding herself she’s the one putting distance between her and Michael, starting when she left him lying there without saying goodbye, ignoring his texts and calls for the week right after, and purposely missing out on hanging with him and the guys. “It’s not like you two to avoid each other...what happened?” he asked knowing it had to be serious, because even during a fight, he would still show up on their doorstep, the two going upstairs to argue before finally making up. “We had sex and now it’s awkward,” she explained sighing softly, her brother chuckling slightly at how she tried to play it off. “It’s not fucking funny.” “It only took you two three years to finally get together. So, why is it awkward? Was he bad or something?” She shook her head rolling her eyes at him. “No...it was great...but he’s my best friend and you don’t fuck your best friend...that’s not supposed to happen.” “Sis...we all know that you and Michael have a thing for each other so get over yourself,” he huffed strumming the his guitar as the doorbell rang, y/n jumping up from her place on the couch opening the door to reveal the blond standing at her door, snapback turned on his head as he stood there nervous as hell. “Mikey...hey…”

[underthestars0]

February 10, 2019

I feel dead. Inside. And outside. Everywhere. I’m officially too old to go out. I went out yesterday and today was a pain in the ass. I felt like barfing all day and didn’t (still don’t) have any energy. Not too often, please (but, it was really cool last night so I cannot complain that much).

Let’s take it back all the way to Thursday and recap my weekend. It started out with the gym. I wasn’t sure I would go since I would have to go alone but I kicked my butt, put on my leggings, drank my smoothie and took the bus there. The work out was fast but intense (I’m still feeling it a few days later). I even decided to walk to get back to the flat afterward instead of taking the bus, extending the work out even more.

Back here, I hung out for a while. I read, chatted a lot with my roommate and gathered up all the courage I had left in me and drove back home. I took my afternoon easy and then my mom and I drove to my grandparents' place. We had dinner with them and just spent the evening catching up. It was cozy and simple but much appreciated. I do not see them as often as I would want to. 

On Friday morning, I woke up and got ready for breakfast at the restaurant with my grandparents and my mother. It was good and fun to have some more time to chat. We were leaving right after but it gave us some more time together. 

In the afternoon, I went with my mom to do some errands and pick up my work schedule. In the evening, my parents had some friends over and I ended up eating with them and even playing games with them. It was surprisingly really fun and I had to say goodbye eventually to go to bed because I was working on Saturday morning and it came much faster than wanted.

My day at work on Saturday was fun. I got there feeling good. I had just driven in the sun and I knew that I had a great evening awaiting me so nothing could kill my mood. The day wasn’t too busy but I’m still forming the new girl so whenever there would be dead time, I’d make her practice some stuff. Overall, it was a good day with good staff.

At the end of my shift, I drove directly to my friend’s place. I got ready to go out eventually and then we waited for our other friend to arrive. When she did, we ate dinner and then we pre-drank. We drank quite a lot and I did both of them’s hair and we put on some music and caught up and it was so so fun, just like old times. 

Eventually, though, we wanted to get to the pub. My friend’s boyfriend who works there was supposed to pick us up after his shift but he was finishing later than supposed so we called a taxi and got there. The ride was hilarious, one of my friend talking with the driver the whole way there.

At the pub, we hung around. There were some dudes there to celebrate one of them’s birthday and don’t ask me how but we ended up sitting with them. We chatted, we danced, we sang... It was nice. After most everyone had left, we went to A&W and I watched everyone eat. I wasn’t really hungry. I also was chatting with one of the guys on facebook. I read that conversation again this morning and it makes no sense whatsoever. I was really out of it. 

Thank god, eventually, we got back to my friend’s place and I got to sleep. I didn’t get a good night of sleep though and this morning came too fast. I got to work reluctantly and had to survive the day. It went ok considering how bad I was feeling.

But, I was goddamnly happy to get back home at 4pm, shower and take a nap until dinner time. I ate dinner with my family and still felt dead. I packed up my stuff and drove here. The drive went really well though so that was good. I have now unpacked my stuff and I have caught up with the roommate that’s here and now bed it is. It cannot come soon enough.

Until next time, L

[opepin]

june: week two

05: i wasn’t too tired when i woke up. i felt good. i wasn’t 100% when it came to doing cardio kickboxing but i got through it. i think the workouts yesterday made me sore too? LOL. i wasn’t expecting that. then i showered, ate my healthy banana and peanut butter whole grain english muffin, packed my lunch, and put the doughnuts in a plastic bag to cover them from the rain. i said goodbye to kevin and then went on my way to work. i dozed off during the ride and then walked over to the office. i wore my rothy’s today to test them again and they seem fine. i’m a bit closer to keeping them ahha. i wished cole a happy birthday with one of the doughnuts (he chose the one i thought he would choose haha). then i worked the rest of the morning and it felt good being productive. i walked to subways with the devs and then had lunch with them. i don’t think i’ve had lunch with them in a while. then i went back to work and did some internet errands until stand up. i finished working on video stuff and then hopped right into working on axure. mathew helped me get acclimated with layers and then i brainstormed on paper until the end of the day. i was surprised that all the doughnuts were gone by the end of the day :P they were good doughnuts. i waited for cole to finish his call and then we walked to the train station together. apparently, he read ready player one and loved it! huhuhuhu.

the train was packed and my neck was sandwiched between two people’s arms -__-” it didn’t last long so it was a meh train ride. then i snacked a bit and went right into exercise. then i watched the season finale of jane the virgin and the ending is wut. i don’t like where this is going. x__x; anyway, i showered when kevin got back and then i watched videos until kevin finished cooking dinner. it was a really late dinner LOL. we ate at like 10:15 pm? i stayed up digesting and reading my book of the month, ‘chemistry.’ i don’t think i like the short sentences...but i kept reading until 12 am and then i brushed my teeth and slept at like 12:30 am. zzz. i need to fix my sleep schedule.

06: my alarm didn’t ring...so i woke up at 7:45 am on my own and if i wanted to get my morning routine in, i would get into the office late so i wfh today even though i did want to go in. it was raining the entire day and we don’t have any umbrellas (the northwestern one got demolished by the wind last week) so i guess it was for the best? i exercised, showered, ate breakfast with kevin, and then read a bit before starting my work day. ‘chemistry’ is an interesting book. i do wish i got the other one for the month though. the writing is very choppy but the book is really insightful. anyway, i did some work, ate during all-hands, and then hopped on to stand up after. i did a bit of work but i felt so tired and unmotivated. i legit fell asleep at some point without realizing it. x__x it was so bad. then kevin got home early and we spent some time cuddling :3 we both ended up napping because this time, traveling kicked our asses. i think last week, i averaged 4-5 hours of sleep. we woke up, kevin started making dinner, i did my back workouts and some cardio, i showered, and then we ate dinner. kevin cleaned up and showered while i did some planning for his birthday. i was supposed to do more work because i didn’t do much today but i got super sidetracked and i was on a roll. i got to plan everything though! i hope it works out :) i let him know a bit but i’m excited for the rest of it, hehe. i did this until 11:30 pm, brushed my teeth, and then went to sleep.

07: i woke up feeling really sad and unmotivated. my vo2 max score on my fitbit dropped down by 1 :/ i haven’t been feeling really good ever since my trip back to chicago. sigh. i made it through my workout and then showered and left to go to work. it was gloomy in the morning but it got sunny during the day. i was really productive today at work though. i just put on some jack johnson and did a ton of design work. we had a quick meeting with frank and then i went back to wireframing and i also managed to talk my mid-day walk. i got a text from kevin saying that he has a fever and he took a sick day. so i left work at around 3 pm and got us dinner from hale & hearty. i got him chicken and rice soup and i got a spicy miso salad ;D i got back at around 3:45 pm and then made him eat the soup and drink ginger tea. kevin managed to pick up the rotofugi package -- i am in love with the shrine artwork we got. we are planning to order another one~ then i went back to work (because i left early) and then kevin napped. i finished working (was super productive) and then exercised. kevin slept through the entire day. i finished my salad for dinner and then i snacked on the asian snacks and felt terrible after. i got on the phone with hillary for the rest of the night while drawing poorly on the ipad LOL. i went to sleep at around 11:45 pm after washing the dishes, putting away the clean dishes, and then brushing my teeth and stuff.

08: lol kevin woke me up at 6 am because he wasn’t tired anymore and he wanted to make himself congee. i got up at my regular time after and did my workout, showered, and hopped on the train to work. i met with mathew and dave to talk about my project and then went to baja taco truck to get fish tacos with the dev team for lunch. after eating, i let dave and mathew know kevin got the stomach flu and i had to head back home to get him some food. i walked to the roche bros in downtown crossing and got bananas and apple sauce. did you know that they sell apple sauce in large containers now? haha. then i took the train home, got on stand up, and then got on a meeting with phil about moving me to a different project for now, which irked me for a bit. then i did some internet errands. kevin and i also purchased another piece of artwork from rotofugi’s current show :) i got myself back into the work grind and worked until 6:30 pm? then i snacked on life cereal with kevin. we chilled on the couch. i watched youtube videos while he read fanfic. then we ate congee and a bit after that, i did my leg workout. it was pretty intense and i loved it. kevin fell asleep at some point while i was working out and then i showered. he woke up and then went to bed to sleep at like 9 pm. i stayed up, watched the newest episode of reign, washed the dishes, and then brushed up and went to sleep at 11:30 pm. YES, SLEEP! :)

09: mmm it was nice getting 8 hours of sleep today. kevin woke up earlier than me and made himself congee. i did a new exercise video in the morning, showered, and then had some breakfast. then i went straight to work and was really productive for the day :) i’m so proud of myself. i was in a total slump in the beginning of the week :/ i got on stand up and then i stopped working for a bit to bake chicken with lemon pepper and garlic salt mmm.  i also put in some red peppers to bake at the halfway mark and washed the dishes. then i ate a late lunch at around 2:30 pm. kevin and i headed to roche bros at some point during the day to get kevin some bread to soak up all that stomach juice LOL. we got a multigrain baguette. mmm. we got rained on coming back home but it got sunny again when we got back...wth... i finished up my work day after coming back and doing another project. then i cleaned up a bit, watched youtube videos, ate dinner with kevin, and then i worked out. i washed up and we relaxed for the rest of the evening. lol i think kevin ticked me off at night for taking so long in the bathroom so i went to sleep kinda angry but forgave him when he got into bed.

10: i woke up at around 8:30 am and then did my 60 minute cardio kickboxing workout at 9 am. my feet started hurting a lot so i had to take it easy. x_x; then i showered, ate breakfast, and i had kind of a melt down. idk, i just feel so unhappy sometimes ever since my trip to chicago. i feel so unfulfilled in a way but i don’t know what way exactly. :/ kevin comforted me and then we got ready to go to our massage at 1 pm. the massage was definitely relaxing and what we both needed after the crazy amount of family time we had in these past few weeks. after our massage, we ate at kkatie’s burgers because it would be kevin’s first real meal other than bland foods LOL. he got a horseradish mushroom ... jalapeno? burger with truffle fries and i got the veggie black bean burger with curly fries. omg, their fries are so good. we also got their deep fried potstickers and those were nice too. my burger was delicious. i should get black bean patties more often! i finished half of my burger and all of my fries <3

we drove back home and then kevin gamed while i started reading ‘into the water.’ i’ve been holding it off but now i feel like i have to finish this book and also let’s not forget bravely default. kevin made dan dan noodles for dinner and they tasted odd at first bite but omg, they’re sooo good. the noodles we got are delicious and chewy. we both read for the rest of the evening. my feet were in pain at this point. my joints were swollen :/ so i didn’t walk much except when i really wanted to. i fell asleep reading in bed at about 12 am and kevin fell asleep at around 2 am?

11: i woke up at 9 am and then brushed and got back in bed to finish reading ‘into the water.’ kevin eventually woke up in that time and i ate breakfast and finished the book. he read fanfic and then i watched some videos while he got ready to go. we meal planned and then headed out to the mall so i could get my free sephora birthday gift -- i got he caudalie one. then kevin went to get us auntie anne’s pretzels and i went to dsw and tried on some dr. scholl’s shoes and happened upon a pair of adidas on sale?! lol i went in there initially to use my $5 birthday coupon for arch insoles. i took a good amount of time to think about whether or not to get them but i did anyway! with my coupon, they were only $47. they also didn’t have the arch support insoles i wanted so.. haha. we went to target and then we got butter, milk, yogurt, and some buns. then we went grocery shopping and ate lunch when we got back at like 2 pm. well, i ate lunch. kevin ate the new noosa yogurt flavors he got. i went straight to cleaning the kitchen and bathroom after that. man, acrylic tubs are so hard to maintain @_@; 

there was a fire evacuation thingy! we thought kevin set off the fire alarm but then we opened the door and realized it was ringing through the entire apartment complex. so we went out and then waited and walked to lowes and then walked back and everything was fine. then kevin and i ate dan dan noodles for dinner while watching ‘lucid dreams.’ it’s a korean thriller on netflix. then kevin cooked for the rest of the night (literally) and i tried getting in 30 minutes of walking on my painful feet. i think i overdid it because my calves were burning by the time i was done walking. i brushed up, kevin showered, and then we made the bed and i ko’d at like 11:45 pm.

[shytiff]

 August 2021

1 - morning walk with ness mendel to palm hills. my dumb ass decided to do a bit of run. my heart was screaming by the time we hiked lol. continued with some youtube dance work out at mess. had kanayam as always. the fish and chicken somehow tasted even better than usual. afternoon nap. had muesli and simba again. 

2 - a hectic BP slash usila slash mtbs day with dr arief. Tried sop bebek h syafei and sate bandeng. Worked out w renata to a 20 mins pilates vid and 2 madfit songs and one 5 min stretch. Dinner was tofu soun seaweed and egg soup courtesy of renata. And baked banana with ovomaltine lolll im so grateful friends give me food.

3 - in usila today but turns out theres still one more day of vaccine in kantor kecamatan, so nessa and i went. We screened together w dr arief. Finished at about 2 pm. Can finaly eat at like 3ish after getting to the mess. Felt a bit of headache and my nose starts to go runny. So i slept. But my nose was so blocked. So i asked renata for her boiled noodle. Felt a bit better. Cleared my nose. Slept.

4 - it did feel better, finally. The soreness i felt in my abs yesterday gets worse today lmao. BP w nessa. orientation w dr harnis. talked ngalor ngidul about love life et cetera at our room lol

5 - fasted today. sahur was rice, crispy mushroom and abon since i felt sick of eating egg. it seems that love life talk continued today    at BP w dr anggi. printed stuff at kubang wates. bought kepak bandeng at RM tajuk and some snacks in indomaret. turns out Prof gave me one more ppt to do, for PIT. and the manuscript deadline is on the 8th :) immediately started doing something about it since now i know ppt and word making rly takes time

6 - muesli and pizza from alfia for bfast. vaccine today w dr lutfi. talked with kang ade and turns out he lived in kalideres before lol. bought don’s burger for dinner and ate it with fried egg. 

7 - MTBS today. got a lot of free food. read stranger than friends. went to transmart w nessa to buy stuff. did the word for Prof’s PIT topic acompanied with lofi study on the tv accompanied with nescafe latte. taste kinda.. weird. 

8 - ran a bit today, alone. bought nasi uduk for 5000 and i added scrambled egg. continued the word and finished it at like 11 am. sent it. relaxed for a bit. read black mirror. lunch was from labbaik but things went shit and i ended up paying 72k lol. printed document stuff w nessa and went to palm hills in the golden hour. ate together w the gals. played scrabble and talked a bit with fianti until almost 11 pm.

9 - had left over chicken and pizza for bfast. usila today and the patients came back to back. bought kanayam while waiting for 2 pm. slept. did (so little) work of ECMOCARD SAP. im so research dumb. 

10 - had steak and rice and renata’s veggie soup for bfast. vaccine today at vivo near intermedia with teh dian. waited for a mother with 9cm dilatation in ugd with nessa, but it took so long so i went back first. met up with atikah at o seven lmao. she arrived at like 12 and waited at palm wates. tried carbonara sphagetti (yum! but not fulfilling enough) and fried tofu. slept early and i probably passed out at like 930 pm. atikah was talking w ratnaa and we’re talking about the day’s randomness of atikah’s customer that somehow lives in cilegon

11 - woke up late. drove motorbike around palmhills to sightsee a bit. bfast at nasi uduk place around the corner. did some ngambi-together in green wates, accompanied by atikah’s 2 songs, repeated many times. went to mess. ate seafood in merak (a place near billiard cafe). got fish and shrimp. went to pulau kecil with pak asep’s help. walked around the tiny island. saw a monkey. the waters surprisingly clear. and then after maghrib Prof asked me about the ppt lol. so i hurriedly made it and emailed it, with zoom sesh 2mrw

12 - muesli for bfast. a hectic day today at bp x usila with dr lutfi (she went up for a bit for promkes). leftover kangkung and fish for lunch. hurriedly added some stuff to Prof’s ppt before the zoom sesh at 3. did 1 pamela reif vid and “attempted” her 10 min ab workout. dinner was soun and egg and renata’s veggie. 

13 - vaccine day for ODGJ and special needs children ft. dr Arief. finished at like 10:15. bought discounted wingstop (86k for 20 piece). was about to send Prof’s ppt but turns out there’s a ppt from the sponsor. in english. so i had to mold the 2 ppt and do some translation. finally sent it, and the literature. the sponsor used a lot of old literature lol. 

14 - wingstop and rice for bfast. mtbs today. no patient lmao. bu ningrum gave me cimol again! and a snack called selondok. waited out 2 pm with nessa. there’s a mom that came with upper abdominal pain. it did not improve after ranitidine, so she was referred. mom dad etc came to cilegon. i vacuumed. bujing lia had itches within like 15 mins of entering my room :(( lol. since the bed was put out, renata and i slept in yoga mat lol. nessa went to damkar. but i dreamed of something that night.

15 - mom’s spaghetti for bfast. off to pulau besar at 7 am. walked around the island a bit. swam in pulau kecil. ate at saung bonang (<50k per person!). tidied up the hydrovacuumed bed. a 20 ish minute ab and glutes workout with renata. love life talk. accidentally turned on live video in cld lmao. talked with aisyah due to said live vid. gave some brownies and spaghetti to mendel lol. dinner was mom’s chicken, kentang balado and capcay. 

16 - usila today. lots of patients with dizziness. ate mom’s chicken and spicy potato for lunch. 

17 - free day today. picked up my towel from sodaqo laundry. nasi uduk for breakfast. lazed. washed my undies. lunch was meat soup made by renata. watched run bts while eating indomie. watched extreme job (quite hilarious). filled my logbook. slept at like 12 am

18 - spaghetti for bfast. no patient at kia. promkes about hypertension. some patients at igd today. my mistake today was not realizing the pneumonia on a 8months patient with severely dehydrated diarrhea :( there’s also a 4 yo child whose fever did not improve after like 3 hrs and pct and compress. i have to be better :(. lunch was kanayam. bought chatime together with ness tri. tried lychee milk tea and the taste did not combine well at all. imagined better productivity with nessa even though its less likely to happen lmaooo

19 - fasted and had nongshim carbonara dry ramen for sahur. BP today. Almost bought martabak but its just keBMan on my part.

20 - vaccine day today. Filled logbook. went to mess and went back again to cibeber through the rain when i was called by the teteh. Helped the delivery (the mcroberts, to be exact), and got some hecting. The midwives were rly kind :) ness ren were sleeping so i got some silence for myself. It was nice. Tidied some stuff and slept

21 - mtbs. Whatsapp class for pregnant woman abt c19 vaccine. Bought martabak hokky medium (50k,green tea, chocolate, ceres and cheese). Turns out alfia also bought martabak assen. Fried mom's chicken and ate it with renata's porridge. Movie night, watched under the gods 1 along with popcorn

22 - woke up kinda late if i wanted to run, but the weather was cloudy and nice, so i went out at 7:15ish. ran a bit towards KS complex behind mess. walked through a jogging track, empty houses, krakatau bike park. played badminton with tri. washed undies. ate mom’s food for bfast slash lunch. napped a bit. off to o seven, bringing mom’s brownies. ordered green tea latte (25k), it tasted sweet and i had to remind myself that its not matcha lol. did some logbook and literature search for prof’s ppt. ate renata’s broccoli. folded clothes. tried nessa’s scarlett scrub. put on some lotion. mask. turned on fianti’s candle (smells rly nice and calming!). vcall with fi, scrabble and some talks. and suddenly its 11pm

23 - usila today. quite a lot of patients, so much that i was thirsty. dr yanti called since she needs some preskas docx. lol so sudden. bought mizone and dimsum kuy (10.5k with gofood pickup promo). the dimsum was good and fulfilling. didnt do anything else much in the mess. read a painter behind the curtain. it was rly rly good. all the characters made sense and had great insight. some are assholes (im looking at u, Raymond). ate the keripik mom bought from sidimpuan. first time actually trying it. its actually not that spicy lmao i used to think its the spiciest thing in the world. banana, brownies and protein shake for din din.

24 - empty KIA today. no promkes. or UGD patients. some mentoring on preeclampsia by dr Arif. went to BNI but turns out our card havent been activated yet.  cooked mom’s sphagetti sauce (thats not enough amount) along with egg and cheese. yum. had banana brownies and protein for dinner. started trial to blinkist

25 - BP today. reasonable amount of patients, accompanied by blinkist. tried ngikan by gofood pickup (17.5k). i still prefer kanayam’s fish and nasi liwet. a pregnant woman came to UGD. so i went back at like 7 pm, but turns out the mom went back home lmao. mas apit said i shouldve contacted him. point taken. so a nicely lit cafe along the way to pkm called Serada, so i tried it. It has industrial vibes. Got latte (25k). did some logbook. Read some blinks in bed

26 - vaccine today. Both screening and getting moderna lol. My arm hurts. So far no fever. bought roti O croissant and the usual coffee bread for 12k using gofood. Watched weathering with you. Turned on the candle. Read blinks

27 - arm hurts. but thankfully its mtbs. slept while waiting until 2. kanayam sambal matah for lunchie. finally took PCT that solved my headache and incoming fever and arm pain bcs i dont want to stumble while on the motorbike. watched harry potter #1. washed clothes and filled some logbook, powered by left over serada latte. need to sleep so i wont wake up late 2mrw

28 - mass vaccination in SMP RJ with mendel kak esa. 800ish patients. Lots of food and snacks and coffee. Picked up by mom and dad. Slept on the way. And like magic, when i open my eyes im at the airport. Basking in the silence of my room

29 - relaxed. Moms nasgor for bfast. Met up with atikah puy in kopi sedjenak. Tried their croffle with nutella. Went to racheels since its her online grad day. There were also sil and dev. Lotsss of food was eaten that day. Doughnuts, moms brownies, fruits, phd bigbox. Atikah and puy also came along to racils. Had lots of fun talk.

30 - sahur. Off to cilegon. A bit of road fixture was going on. Stopped in the rest area since i wanted to pee. KIA/ugd today. There was a patient who had an accident with a truck. Her nails were falling off. I panicked when Prof asked for his ppt so i hurriedly finished it. Had moms chicken for iftar. Fell asleep after maghrib

31 - usila. Renata fried bakwan and tofu and fish and chicken. Lotsss of fries yum. We played with makeup and ness set up her ling light. I imitated jks tattoo using eyeliner lol. Did the word for Prof. Jk went live for his bday!! I listened until i fell asleep (lol hes still going)