#reFocus Awards

[sitting-on-me-bum]

“Pipistrello del nettare n1”

Mexican Long-tongued Bat

by Gianni Maitan

2023 reFocus Awards

[williammarksommer]

My photo and words featured on INSIDER as part of the "39 award-winning photos that show some of the most vibrant colors around the world" Refocus Awards article. Check it out through the link below.

https://www.insider.com/award-winning-photos-show-vibrant-colors-around-the-world-2023-5?fbclid=IwAR0mK0Fex41dLMMWCe6HjI5MRyfTZJ-VyjnoqCOOHNuz_oLTzxxzS8coK48

[sheltiechicago]

Childhood

by Nicolas Sebag

2024 reFocus Color Photography Awards

[jnginlov]

you’re hongjoong’s bias

when you and your group go on idol radio to promote your latest comeback, you don’t anticipate one of the hosts to be completely enraptured by you

⇀ pairing idol!hongjoong x idol!reader

⇀ genre fluff, idol au

⇀ style one shot

⇀ word count 8.6k

⇀ warnings brief mentions of idol life difficulties, food, hugging, kissing, this is basically all fluff

⇀ reactions from the gc “IM GONNA JUMP OFF A MOVING TRAIN” “Ooohhhhhhh Oh Shit” “You love to torment us with this don’t you”

note this is written completely gender neutral, all of your group members use they/them pronouns and have unisex names so you can imagine any type of group, there’s a mention of makeup but all genders wear makeup in the entertainment industry, also here is a little playlist inspired by the group in this fic if you’re real delulu like me

your group, eclipse, had been enjoying your recent promotional period, your fans, lovingly termed starlight, had been working hard to promote your latest comeback and for once your company had been able to do the same. eclipse wasn’t particularly unknown before, you’d already had your first music show win and been recognized at several korean music award shows, but this was certainly your most successful song and mini album yet. you, as the main dancer and oldest, had particularly enjoyed all of the interest from idols that had asked to do the dance challenge with you for tiktok and instagram. it allowed you to meet a lot of people in the industry who you had admired and wanted to get to know before but didn’t know how to approach. of all the idols you had done the challenge with there was certainly one that stuck out in your mind, kim hongjoong, captain of ateez and dj on idol radio.

your group had gone onto the radio show as part of your promotions, something not unusual for you all as you’d been on an episode when youngjae and young k were the hosts, as well as one with joohoney and hyungwon as djs just over a year ago. this time, however, felt very different. maybe it was the nerves from how much more attention your group was receiving that was making you feel a little fidgety in your seat or maybe it was the fact that one of the djs couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of you.

for the first ten minutes of your time at idol radio you’re scared that there’s something on your face, trying to subtly glance at any reflective surface to parse what could be causing someone to pay so much attention to you.

when yunho and hongjoong both seemed to be completely focused on another one of your members, asking something about the recording process for the album, you try to subtly place a hand on the arm of your group’s leader, nuri, sat right next to you.

as you lean away from the microphone in front of you, your leader turns to you, and you breathe out the word “makeup” in hopes that nuri will find whatever smudge caught hongjoong’s sharp eye.

unfortunately, they only shake their head, eyes darting around your face but returning to your own once they don’t find anything. they squeeze your hand gently with their own before turning back to the interview, a subtle gesture to both comfort you and let you know that they will definitely ask why you were concerned later.

as you retract your hand from nuri’s arm, you turn back to face the center of the table, which was conveniently set up so that your and nuri’s seats were directly opposite hongjoong and yunho’s, respectively. meaning that when you turn back to refocus on the matter at hand you instantly notice how hongjoong nervously looks away from you, suddenly finding the side of his co-hosts face extremely interesting.

“so, your latest mini album is called,” yunho begins, looking at the card in front of him to guarantee he doesn’t mispronounce it, “close orbit. this is the end of the orbit series in your concept right?”

nuri nods eagerly next to you before beginning their usual spiel about the members' roles in the creative direction of your group.

often times you’re deemed as the second in command, filling in the gaps your leader may miss, and therefore you’d like to think that you’re pretty good about turning on professional mode no matter the situation. however, from the corner of your eye you see hongjoong’s gaze flitting between you and nuri every few seconds and his behavior has begun to have you a bit nervous, fidgeting with one of the rings your stylist had given you that morning. you desperately try to pay attention to what nuri is talking about but, with the combination of the fact that you already know everything about what they’re saying and the heat that’s creeping up your neck as you try to push the thoughts of hongjoong’s behavior from your mind, you find your own thoughts wandering to hongjoong and his weird behavior.

yunho calls your name suddenly, once nuri is finished, shifting your attention back to the interview at hand and beginning to talk about your involvement in eclipse, aside from simply being a member of the group.

you try not to flick your gaze over to hongjoong too often, who now seems to find the cards he’s surely read over several times before intensely interesting, as yunho acknowledges your skills as main dancer and notes for the audience how involved you are in your group’s choreographic process, which already has a warmth blooming in your chest as you’re aware he’s the main dancer of his own group and you always find recognition from other group’s dancers to feel extra special, but the warmth is quickly transferred to your cheeks only a moment later.

“it’s kind of funny,” yunho starts and you tilt your head in interest as he peaks over to his co-host, “you’re hongjoong’s bias.”

from the look that takes over hongjoong’s face, a mix of shock and embarrassment, and the way he turns quickly to look at yunho with slight anger, you assume that this fact was supposed to stay secret, although you’re partly thankful that you have a seemingly good explanation for why hongjoong hadn’t been able to look away from you since you stepped into the studio.

you’re sure your own shocked expression comes over your face before you’re schooling it quickly, although you hear your maknae, star, sat right next to you, snickering softly under their hand, and you shoot star a quick side eye that seems to remove the humor from the situation for them.

“uh, thank you,” you say with a bow as low as the table in front of you allows, “it means a lot to hear that from a senior like you. thank you for your support.”

“of course,” hongjoong speaks suddenly, mirroring your bow as much as he can before stuttering out a statement about how you’re “so inspiring” and “light up the stage”. his face is getting redder by the second as he digs himself further into a hole but you can feel that your face is heating to match his own.

yunho seems to sense the way he’s pushed the interview off the rails and interrupts to bring attention back to your group entirely and your comeback.

through the next few minutes of the show, you’re noticeably and uncharacteristically distant as you now find yourself to have almost traded positions with hongjoong, subtly staring at him as much as you can manage without drawing immediate attention from your fans or members.

in opposition, hongjoong had now taken to looking at pretty much anything that wasn’t you after yunho had shared his little secret. unfortunately, maybe fortunately, you found that you can barely tear your gaze from the blue haired man across the table.

you were obviously a fan of ateez, being able to appreciate a lot of aspects about their talents and skills, but you’d never really gotten too much into the members themselves, aside from knowing who was who and what they each did. you found that as an idol yourself it could feel weird to try acting like a normal fan of a group, making you almost hyper aware of your own fans and their habits as you would try to focus on just one video that wasn’t related directly to the group’s music or performance.

this had meant that you had no ateez bias, although you knew a decent amount about the members, but now you’re rethinking your whole ideas of being a fan as an idol.

as you think to yourself, you attempt to rationalize the past few minutes, assuming that yunho was just joking around, trying to make fun of his hyung or maybe meaning something different from what your group’s fans meant when they said they biased you. however, every time you’ve managed to start convincing yourself, you’re just reminded of hongjoong’s reaction in the moment his member had said something.

your spiraling thoughts are only serving to distract you and suddenly, feeling a hand on your shoulder to bring you back to reality, you realize that they had started playing one of the songs from your album, letting you and your members grab snacks and wave to the fans through the window. the member with their hand on your shoulder, one of your best friends in the group, eunjae, looks at you with a mix of worry and bemusement, although you hear the slight smirk they wear in their voice as they ask if you’re okay.

you wave eunjae off before you head over to the window, not feeling particularly hungry, and hope that maybe seeing your fans will help to ground you, just as they always do.

as you’re waving through the window at several people with headbands of your and your member’s names you feel a presence beside you, much larger than any of your members. you turn to find yunho near you, not crowding you but obviously intentionally in your space, most likely to draw your attention without suspicion.

“sorry about that,” he says as you turn to him and he gestures toward the snack cart closer to the corner.

you know what he’s doing, trying to make it seem like you two are just talking about the food so as to not make fans question your interaction and so you follow him to the snack cart as you ask, trying not to show any of the question on your face, “about what?”

“making you uncomfortable,” he supplies. “hongjoong had asked me not to say anything but i didn’t think about the fact that he may have been asking that for your comfort rather than his own” yunho says in barely a whisper and you can see a light blush dusting his cheeks.

you’re thankful that your members had basically switched with you, greeting fans after clearing away from the snacks.

“don’t worry,” you reassure. “i'm not uncomfortable, it was more shocking than anything” you tell him, and as you say it you realize it’s the truth.

as an idol you often have to sacrifice your comfort for others but in this moment you aren’t saying it out of necessity but as the truth, and when you glance behind you at hongjoong, who’s intently avoiding all of your members as he also waves to the atiny that are mixed in with your fans, you feel something sparkle in the pit of your stomach. it’s a pleasant feeling, something reminiscent of admiration but more complex, deeper.

you’re not afraid to admit to yourself that hongjoong is attractive, undeniably handsome and, from everything you’d heard, genuinely nice to those around him. you could admire him as a leader and creative, knowing how much responsibility he had and that he still managed to enjoy what he did, but, with both of you working in the industry, dating could be next to impossible.

in all honesty, you’re not sure the last time you’d even had time to explore any sort of romantic interest in anyone, and maybe you were simply deprived of that experience so your brain was running wild with even the slightest exploration of thought. however your company had no dating ban and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to venture into that side of a normal life.

bringing you back to the present moment, yunho lets out a heavy breath and hands you a random piece of candy off the cart that you accept with a slight bow, convincing everyone that might be watching that you were talking about the snacks the whole time.

soon after your interaction concludes, everyone is quick to gather back around the table, taking your seats as your song fades out in the background. the next segment goes smoothly, yunho and hongjoong leading your group in a little game about how much your members know each other.

throughout the game you can’t help but sneak glances at hongjoong, your mind still working through the thoughts you’d had during the break. he appears to be trying hard to not notice you looking at him, but he manages to slip up occasionally and you try to send him a warm, if not slightly teasing, grin each time your eyes connect.

though your original intention with the gesture wasn’t to fluster the man, you find the way he reacts each time to be endearing, the blush returning to his cheeks and even starting to spread up to his ears. every time your gazes meet you feel that same tingle in your stomach begin to spread up to your chest, his expression each time feeding it, and you start to find a bit of comfort in that sensation as you feel like you’re getting to admire hongjoong who you’d been avoiding at the beginning of the show.

you’re starting to have a bit too much fun with this little game you made for yourself when yunho introduces another one of the songs from your group’s album and it starts to fade in, bringing an end to your antics.

this time, as the break starts, you intentionally take a moment before standing, pretending to stretch in your seat and standing slowly as you see hongjoong moving toward the fans out of the corner of your eye. you, as subtly as you can, move toward the fans and in the general direction of hongjoong, trying to get the opportunity to talk to him since he had been shying away from speaking to you ever since yunho’s little slip up. he seems too distracted by an atiny that’s mouthing something to him through the window to notice how close you manage to get.

once you’re sufficiently within speaking range, but not too close, always careful of fan suspicion when you’re in the presence of other idols, you try to casually greet him with a simple “hi” but you’re unprepared for the way he quickly flips around to face you, looking almost like a deer in headlights.

you’re both a bit stuck, just staring at each other before you hear a very obvious fake cough coming from both yunho and nuri that seems to snap you out of it and you each try to play it off with giggles and laughs, mostly for the camera and fans that had been intently tuned in to the strange interaction between the two of you.

“sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you say as you move toward the window, pretending like it had been your intention the whole time to simply say hi to fans once again.

“oh no, uhm, i’m sorry, i don’t know why i reacted like that,” he answers shakily with a nervous chuckle and turns back to the fans as well.

for a moment you both just wave out at the fans, genuinely finding interest in those that had come to support you. after what you deem to be enough time of interaction you finally speak up.

“i’m not uncomfortable, by the way,” you mention casually, hoping hongjoong understands what you mean.

“oh, really?” he sound’s surprised, and you peak out of the corner of your eye to see that he’s trying to hold back the surprise from showing on his face.

“yeah,” you admit. “i’m actually flattered,” you add, turning to hongjoong with a soft smile before you move to the snack cart.

you miss the way his shoulders seem to visibly relax and the grin that spreads onto his face as you leave. fan’s will chalk it up to the fact that he was relieved to be a further distance from you, hongjoong being know to keep his space from the idols that come on as guests, but yunho is quick to spot that it looks more like the expression his captain wears after a satisfying performance or successful interview.

your break is quick to wrap up after that, this song being shorter than the one they’d played earlier, and you’re all back to your seats. you start to readjust in your seat, getting comfortable for the next portion of the show, until you’re passed a head mic and remember that you’re going to teach, along with another one of your members, insoo, yunho and hongjoong the point choreography from your title track.

you’re excited to be back in your element, almost forgetting everything that had happened with hongjoong as you and your member run through the choreography to demonstrate before you’ll teach the boys.

the choreography is nothing too difficult, as your company is always sure to remind you that easier point choreo is more marketable, but it involves a great deal of interaction between you and your member, them starting the section standing directly in front of you, and you manipulate them until they have to squat in front of you.

yunho is quick to decide that he will do your part, claiming that because you’re both main dancers it makes sense as well as sighting the height difference, although the height difference between you and insoo is almost negligible compared to yunho and hongjoong’s height difference, but hongjoong doesn’t put up a fight, the gaze he’d had on you at the beginning of the schedule returning with a different undertone, one you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

the choreography wasn’t particularly sexy, your group not one to lean too heavily into those kinds of concepts, but it was certainly powerful and this particular song made you feel confident, considering you got to be center for the point.

you blame hongjoong’s shift on your own perception, but his gaze certainly reignites the buzz in your stomach, now fully formed into butterflies whose wings brush against the inside of your ribs, longing to be released.

you try to shake it off and step into teaching mode, familiar comfort seeping into you as you take on the most usual role for yourself. you quickly teach yunho your part, and as expected he catches on quickly, and insoo tries to demonstrate what hongjoong should do as best they can, although their part is hard to describe as insoo often goes off of your energy and cues.

when he stumbles out of the ending squat to fall on his butt all three of you that are standing are quick to rush over to him but he just chuckles in slight embarrassment before picking himself up and you all laugh together.

“hm what about you try it with him and i can do it with yunho,” insoo suggests quickly, looking like they just thought of the best solution to hongjoong’s learning difficulties.

you’re a little surprised but agree nonetheless as yunho adds that he’s sure his hyung would be fine with that, but once hongjoong is standing right in front of you it’s not so much hongjoong you’re worried about.

you try to back up a bit, trying to give yourself a bit of distance between you two, but are quick to realize that the choreography won’t work if you’re any further apart and so just as you take a step toward the man in front of you he also takes one into you, realizing that you had both started to get too close to the table now behind him.

your hands are quick to come up to his chest before you can fully fall into him and you jump back as quickly as you can, pulling your hands away as though he burned you.

the same look of shock as when you’d come up behind him during the break is present on hongjoong’s face, and he’s glad there are no cameras that face him right now to see it, but all you can pay attention to is the warmth that you had felt on your palms at the contact between you two.

the whole interaction had felt to you like it was minutes long but in reality it was barely a couple seconds, and you’re once again trying to slip back into the dance teacher role as well as you can when you’re so acutely aware of how close hongjoong is to you in this moment. you can just smell the fading cologne he’d applied earlier in the day, a mix of linen and leather that feels like it turns your brain to mush as you try to remember what you were supposed to be doing with him standing in front of you like this in the first place.

his surprise melts to a look of concern as he sees you shake your head, hoping to clear your thoughts as though they were being physically blocked by all your senses screaming hongjoong.

“so you start like this,” you supply quickly, trying to ignore the way hongjoong won’t drop the worried expression from his face.

you need to move quickly, the man in front of you is starting to make you feel dizzy and you aren’t sure your company, or your members, would enjoy you passing out for seemingly no reason while on a live program.

normally when you dance this part, you make full contact with your member but you can’t bring yourself to touch hongjoong completely, partially fearing you won’t want to let go once you do. instead you ghost your hands along the places you might normally drag them and float over the places you might normally grab.

as you move him slowly into the final positioning you’re realizing that it may have been more torturous to avoid touching him then to just give in to your desire to connect with him, every time your skin makes the lightest contact sending a jolt up through your arms and your breath catching in your throat, if for a moment.

“so that’s it,” you nod, trying not to sound as breathless as you feel and hongjoong looks up at you almost expectantly. you’re waiting for him to move, looking back down at him, and you feel his gaze almost peering through you, like he can see every deep breath you’re taking to try to calm your heart, like he knows exactly how you’ve felt for the past few minutes as you tried to teach him the movement, like he knows exactly what he does to you.

it’s kind of funny how you could feel so small compared to a man that you’re currently looking down on but it’s kim hongjoong who’s looking back up at you, in your clouded brain it seems to make sense.

you’re not sure who speaks up but you hear yunho and insoo moving next to you, although the dull ringing in your ears hasn’t fully subsided. you feel yourself, as though in a daze, move away from hongjoong, something you’re not actually sure you even want to do but your body has decided for you.

as insoo reclaims their place in front of you, you’re suddenly aware of the fact that you’d had that entire encounter with hongjoong in front of, not just your friends, but your fans, your managers, and several live cameras. you feel redness creeping up to consume almost your entire face and you’re glad insoo is blocking you. they give you a slight look of concern and you just clear your throat, pushing the thoughts of hongjoong down until they meet the butterflies in the pit of your stomach, taking a breath to urge them to calm down as well.

the rest of idol radio seems to pass in a blur. you’re even more distant than when you were lost in your thoughts earlier, although this time it seems as though your mind is absolutely blank. if you had wanted it to shut up before, now you’re wishing for it to just go, the image of hongjoong squatting in front of you the only thing you can seem to focus on.

you don’t fully come back to your senses until you’re sat in the car that’s set to take you, and your members, back to your dorm, your schedules for the day complete, and although you thought that distance may have aided your situation you were certainly wrong. your mind has taken to replaying the moment you’d shared with him over and over, not sparing a single detail and you feel as though you’re reliving the interaction again as you practically sense the heat radiating from his skin under your fingertips.

“are you, like, good?” star asks, placed once again right next to you. you look at them with what you hope is a convincing smile as you nod gently, before turning back to watch seoul pass in a blur through the window.

that night, you and your members, seven in total, gather to eat the takeout your manager had ordered as congratulations on a good day of promotions and suddenly you feel several pairs of eyes on you.

“what?” you ask, looking between all the members that weren’t currently too focused on their food.

“what was that between you and hongjoong?” insoo asks with a smirk, noddles almost forgotten on their plate.

“what was what?” you ask, trying to will the blush that creeps up your neck away.

insoo rolls their eyes in response, seeing right through your act and very clearly remembering what they had seen when they were stood right in front of you.

“y/n’s crushing on hongjoong,” star sings cheerily before someone’s foot, likely eunjae’s, makes contact with their shin under the table and they hiss.

you scoff at the statement, trying to play dumb to the way all your members were clearly seeing through you. “i do not,” you state indignantly, taking a big bite of your food as you glare at star.

“whatever you say,” star shrugs, a teasing smirk on their face.

luckily the conversation is quick to shift away from you and you’re able to enjoy your meal without any more interrogation.

later that night, as you prepare for bed, you hear a gentle knock on your bedroom door and open it to find nuri.

“hey, what’s up?” you ask, noticing they’re already dressed for bed.

“here,” they say, holding a piece of paper out which you take from their hand with some hesitancy.

“thanks?” you state, although it’s more of a question as you wonder what’s on the slip of paper now in your possession.

“hongjoong’s kakao id,” they say with a nod toward the paper and you blush, clearing your throat quickly. “it’s fine to have a crush by the way,” they continue and your face only grows warmer. “i’d just appreciate it if you'd tell me if you end up dating. easier for me to help.”

you don’t say anything as you just nod your head in understanding, closing your door quickly and pressing your face into your hands in embarrassment.

you place the slip onto your desk, glad in moments like these that you got the only solo room, and debate about adding him. i mean, you hadn’t spoken more than a few sentences to each other, but what could really be the worst that could happen?

you try not to think about how nuri got his id, wondering if maybe they already knew each other and praying they hadn’t asked him for it just for you today, as you add him on your kakaotalk, tossing around ideas of opening messages. eventually you settle on a simple “hi, this is y/n” and send it quickly before you can overthink.

you don’t expect a reply immediately, noting how late it is, but almost as soon as you lock your phone the screen is lighting up with a message back.

hongjoong: hi

hongjoong: i wasn’t sure you were actually going to text me

hongjoong: i mean i know you told me you weren’t uncomfortable but still

a smile stretches across your lips as you realize hongjoong gave his id to nuri to give to you specifically and you scold yourself for being so out of it that he couldn’t give it to you directly.

you: i meant it when i said i was flattered

you: it’s a huge compliment to be admired by someone like you

you try to err on the side of caution. maybe he just wanted to talk to you about work, music and dance, so you tried not to be too informal, ateez and hongjoong being your senior. although you did try to hint that you were interested past a professional, and even platonic, relationship, but it had certainly been a while since you’d flirted with anyone, outside of fan service.

hongjoong: i wanted to ask you something

you: ask away

hongjoong: we have a new song coming out soon and i wondered if you’d be interested in doing the dance challenge for it

hongjoong: with me

you could feel the butterflies awaken inside of you once more, excited at the prospect of being able to see him again and the fact that he asked you specifically about doing the challenge.

you: i’d love to

you: just text me

with your agreement you both wrap up the conversation, bidding each other good night, and you go to bed with your thoughts full of hongjoong and stomach full of butterflies.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the rest of your own promotional period flies by, successful and rewarding as the support from your fans results in several music show wins and lots of recognition from all over the world. the whole time you try to focus more on work than your recently budding friendship with the leader of ateez, but it’s hard when you find yourself just as excited to end your day and finally be able to message him as you do when you can see your fans or perform. your members have certainly noticed a change in your demeanor, eager to shut yourself in your room to be alone, and some fans have commented about how happy you’ve seemed lately. luckily, your interaction from idol radio is barely recognized, only a few of the usual shippers making theories about your or hongjoong’s behavior that other fans are quick to brush off as a reach.

hongjoong: happy last day of promotions! i hope your schedules go well today

he doesn’t normally text you in the morning but you’d been telling him the night before about it being your last day to promote your comeback and so you check the timestamp on the message to find it was sent around 3am, probably when he managed to actually get to bed considering he’d told you he was working in the studio on ateez’s next comeback.

you shoot him a thank you text back, doubting he’ll see it until he wakes up a little later in the day, and get ready to head out for your schedule.

you were performing on the show again today, a music show that one of hongjoong’s members, yeosang, was an mc on. you didn’t even think much of the fact as you arrived and got ready with your styling team, having interacted with yeosang as an mc during this promotional period already. although as you sat in the hair and makeup chair, ready for the usual routine, a light knock sounded against the door of your dressing room.

after a quick check that everyone was decent, nuri approached the door. you couldn’t see who was on the other side, nuri discussing something with them and bowing as you assume the other person handed them a plastic bag.

you were slightly confused, none of your members or staff having ordered delivery, as nuri closed the door, taking a peek into the plastic bag before heading in your direction.

“here,” they said as they placed the bag onto your lap and you gave them a questioning glance.

“what’s this?”

“from yeosang who said it’s from a friend,” they explain with a wink and you try not to blush at the implication.

nuri walks away without saying anything else and you glance into the bag, seeing a few of the snacks you’d mentioned craving to hongjoong just last night. you push around the items and find a little note, similar to that which had held his id on it, and open it in the bag to avoid suspicion from those around you.

i know how hard it can be to eat during schedules so i hope this can help. good luck today, text me when you win

you try to ignore the way your heart picks up at the thought of him caring this much for you but it’s hard when you know that you’re already so infatuated with him. his confidence in you and your group was also just so heartwarming, something that was certainly making you fall deeper for the man you’d so recently grown attached to.

you munch on the gift as your hair gets styled, a smile unable to leave your face as you debate texting him to thank him. unfortunately you don’t get a chance as you’re thrown into the whirlwind of performing and preparing for a potential encore stage, your group loving to do silly little things for starlight whenever you win.

of course, like most times, hongjoong is right and your group wins for the final time this comeback, celebrating on stage with your fans and members. throughout your encore, your mind drifts to hongjoong, how you can text him and celebrate together.

as soon as all of your members arrive to your dorm, shoes discarded in the entranceway and takeout being served on the table, there’s a sudden ring of the doorbell and half of you freeze. the other half continue on with their tasks as nuri offers to get the door, handing off the serving task to insoo who is more than happy to take responsibility.

“y/n!” nuri calls from the door only a moment later and a few of your members give you a confused look as you shrug and make your way to your leader.

“yeah?” you ask as you approach, turning the corner to see two bouquets, not too large but very beautiful, in nuri’s grasp, the front door closing as you assume the delivery driver leaves.

“this is for you,” nuri says with a grin and you don’t keep the surprise from your features as they hand you the smaller of the two pieces, noting that they are your favorite flowers and spotting the little card in the center.

y/n,

congratulations on your win today. you always look so beautiful when you dance.

hj <3

you don’t try to hide the blush that blooms over your cheeks, your mind hyper focused on the little heart at the end of the message, and turn to nuri.

“what does that one say?” you ask, gesturing to the other bouquet that contains a mix of flowers with your group’s official colors.

nuri turns the bunch to you so that you can read the card.

eclipse,

congratulations on a successful comeback,

ateez

you nod as you turn back to the flowers in your hands, nuri pushing past you to join the other members in the kitchen. you can hear them explain who the flowers are from and mentally thank nuri when they don’t mention your personal bunch.

you manage to sneak the flowers to your room before you head back out to the table for dinner, shooting hongjoong a picture and a quick thank you.

hongjoong: i’m glad you like them

hongjoong: and i meant it, you looked breathtaking today

you suppress your smile as you read his response, trying not to catch the attention of any of your members, but you glance up to see nuri looking at you with a knowing, if not approving, smile.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you’ve been following ateez a little more closely now, their newest comeback, bouncy, releasing just last week and doing amazingly on the charts. you’d been sending hongjoong little things like snacks, coffee, and meals to keep him motivated and show your support and he’d been showing his appreciation by sending you pictures of him eating or just selfies of him during schedules.

you were certain that your relationship was headed in a more romantic direction as you both became more bold in your texts. you’d also begun video calling when you were able, sometimes just doing your own things while you were on a call together.

you were eager to possibly try taking the next step and actually go out on a date but with ateez still in the midst of promotion you understood that hongjoong’s free time was limited. so you left it up to him, not pressuring hongjoong by asking him out or even alluding to wanting to date.

“do you know the challenge or do you want me to teach you?” hongjoong had asked one night when you were on video call.

he’d brought up your promise from months ago to do the challenge and you assured him that you were still interested.

“i mean i sort of know it just from watching it a bunch, but if you want to teach me i’m not opposed,” you said with a cheeky shrug and hongjoong grinned.

“i don’t have to teach you babe,” he says with a light chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine.

that was another thing that had started recently, the pet names. hongjoong had accidentally referred to you as “babe” over text one time, rushing to apologize when you had taken just a second too long to respond, but you assured him that you weren’t upset just trying to be able to actually think again when the name had short circuited your brain.

“fine,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “i want you to teach me,” you admit with a slight wine. “there, happy?”

he chuckles again with a nod and an “okay” before you’re setting up the best day for you to meet at the kq company building, having to end the call soon after so that he can actually get some sleep.

the next few days have you on edge as you anticipate being able to see hongjoong in person for the first time since your appearance on idol radio. you even plan your outfit a day in advance, feeling almost like you’re going on a first date as you ensure your hair and makeup are perfect.

“have fun,” nuri says with a knowing wink as you leave your dorm and you don’t give them your normal embarrassed look, too focused on the excitement of seeing hongjoong.

you arrive at the kq building right on time, a staff member greeting you in the lobby and taking you to the practice room where you’ll be doing the challenge. you’d seen this same room plenty before on video, ateez dance practices being one of the few contents you’d watched before getting to know hongjoong.

“he should be here in a second,” the staff says, glancing at her phone, and you nod with a grin.

“its fine,” you assure. “thank you.”

just as you start to observe the room a little more, looking around and comparing it to your own practice room, the door opens and hongjoong enters.

even though you’d seen him on your screen almost everyday for the past week, nothing can compare to the way he looks in person, especially since he’d changed his look. atiny had been going crazy over his newly silver hair and you were no different, texting him how much you loved it as soon as you found out.

“hi,” he says with a smile as soon as he spots you.

you reach out your hand and repeat his greeting, bowing as you shake hands to imitate a sense of formality in front of the staff member.

you don’t want to let go of his hand but you pull away anyway, taking a step back to put some distance between you two and hoping to calm the urge that bubbles in your chest to take him into your arms.

“so, would you like for me to teach you the challenge?” he asks and you bite the inside of your cheek to stop the laugh that builds in your throat at the question, knowing you’d already asked him to teach it to you a few days ago.

“yes please,” you nod and hongjoong gestures so that you can move toward the mirror.

honestly, the choreography is pretty easy to pick up, especially since you’ve watched it so many times already, but you relish in the way hongjoong watches you and decide to just mess around with him a little. it couldn’t hurt to ask a few questions you already knew the answer to right?

“so, is it here or out here?” you ask with an innocent quirk of your brow, placing your left hand out, palm flat and moving it back and forth between two positions.

you see hongjoong’s eyes narrow just slightly, as he had clearly seen you get it right the first time, and you know he’s picking up on your little game. his eyes flick to the staff member in the room, noting that she’s on her phone in the corner, looking away, before he takes a step toward you.

instead of just answering your question he reaches around you, keeping his body on your right and wrapping his left arm around your back to grasp your elbow. he moves your arm into the proper place and you feel his other hand place itself on your waist. as you try to focus on anything but the way his fingers press into your skin he leans his head down slightly, enough so that you can feel his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear and across your cheek.

his proximity has your heart pounding and you almost hope he can hear it, wanting him to know that what he’s doing is working. you want him to know that this is exactly what you wanted, that you wish this is how close you could have him all the time.

“right here,” he says, barely a whisper, and just as you start to lean into him, longing to be completely consumed by his warmth, he steps away and his presence is replaced by the cool air that blows through the vent above you.

you clear your throat as you try to shake away the lingering warmth his touch left against your skin and slow your heartbeat as you go back to rehearsing the movements, for real this time.

you try to ignore the smirk that paints his face as he watches you practicing, a blush painting your own cheeks that starts to match his the longer he stares.

“okay, i think i got it,” you say after a few more rounds of practice. “what do you want to do for the outro?” you ask. “or do you just want to end it after the ‘fly’?”

you turn to hongjoong who looks around the room in thought.

“we could do the ending pose from moonbeam,” he suggests, referring to the title track you’d been promoting on idol radio, and you’re taken aback for a moment.

you’re not so much shocked that he would suggest something to do with your group but that he would choose that pose specifically. it would normally involve you and eclipse’s main vocalist, gam, standing while everyone else sat around you, leaning on each other. you and gam would be staring just past each other as your right arms were tangled in front of you in a sort of love shot position.

“oh, sure,” you say taking a moment to picture you and hongjoong in that position and your blush darkens. “i guess.”

“we don’t have to,” he says, sensing your hesitation. “we can do something else.”

you shake your head as you reassure him, “no, no, it’s fine.”

hongjoong just nods and you run through the challenge once more, practicing the final pose as well and trying to not let the proximity that the pose forces you into affect your face, of course you have no control over how it affects your heart and mind.

“great,” he says, mostly to himself, before calling over the staff member who directs you where to stand and prepares the shot.

the shooting of the challenge itself goes well, you both switching easily into professional mode even if you can see his eyes watching you through the mirror the whole time. you do a few takes, allowing the company to pick whichever they deem best, before you’re done and thanking hongjoong and the staff member for their time.

“oh,” hongjoong perks up before you can begin to head out. “i got you a thank you gift for doing the challenge but i left it in my studio.” he turns to the staff member and asks, “would you mind going to grab it?”

she nods before making her way out of the room, leaving you and hongjoong alone.

your eyes follow her as she leaves but before you can even turn back to hongjoong he’s pulled you into a hug, arms wrapped securely around your waist as he looks into your eyes.

“hi,” he greets with a chuckle, absolutely beaming as you snake your hands around his shoulders.

you giggle in response, your expression mirroring his own, as you finally get to see him how you wish you had for the entire time you’d been in his presence.

“i’ve been waiting to do this for the last half hour,” he says, practically reading your mind.

“so do you actually have a thank you gift or was that just an excuse?” you ask with a tick of your head to the door where the staff member had disappeared.

he looks almost offended as you ask, a humorous disbelief shining in his eyes. “of course i have a gift,” he says and you can hear a slight whine lacing his tone.

“of course,” you say with a chuckle and a shake of your head.

“i would’ve invited you to lunch but the staff would’ve been suspicious,” he adds, “so this is the next best option.”

“i can feed myself you know,” you joke, truly more than happy to have hongjoong buy you meals.

“not if i can help it,” he insists, wrapping his arms tighter and pulling you closer.

you don’t fight against him, your chests now pressed together as you simply wade in the comfort that surrounds you both.

you debate about leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek, wanting to feel the soft skin against your lips, but you don’t. instead you let your cheek fall to his shoulder, resting your head against him and letting the scent of his cologne wash over you.

“what are you doing tomorrow?” hongjoong asks, one of his hands starting to trace along your spine, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“mm,” you hum in thought as you try to remember your schedule. “we have shooting until five and then eunjae wants to watch a new movie,” you say before lifting your head from his shoulder. “why?”

he lets out a breath and his hand comes to a stop on your back, both of his hands gently holding either side of your waist. the smile he gives you seems nervous now, not quite reaching his eyes.

“i wanted to ask if you’d like to get dinner with me tomorrow night,” he explains with a gentle squeeze of your hips. “but if you’re busy we can do it a different night.”

you shake your head quickly, face red and smile as wide as your lips can manage. “eunjae can wait one more day for that movie,” you giggle and watch as his own smile grows.

his hands move from your waist and you start to pull your own arms away when his palms are suddenly on your cheeks, holding your face, and your own hands fly up to cup his. neither of you speak as you glide your hands down to wrap your fingers around his wrist gently, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as his eyes flick between your own.

“can i kiss you?” he asks, trying to see any form of discomfort that might appear on your expression.

“yes,” you respond and before you even finish he’s bringing you into him, lips pressing against your own as softly as he can.

it barely lasts a second before he’s pulling away, his eyes once again searching your own for any hint as to how you’re feeling.

“again?” he asks with a smirk when he notices your lips still puckered and chasing his.

he doesn’t wait for your response this time, diving back into you with an eagerness that challenges your own.

his lips move in sync with yours, one of his hands shifting to the side of your neck and the pads of his fingers pressing into the skin there, sending a shiver down your spine that you're sure he notices by the way you feel him smile against your lips. hongjoong hums gently, the sound vibrating from his own chest to yours and causing you to melt into him further.

you try to pour all of your appreciation for him into the kiss, desperately grasping onto his biceps like he might just vanish at any moment. you hope that he can understand just what you’re trying to tell him, that in this moment, and every moment you’ve shared, he’s made you feel normal. when you were with him, talking to him, you weren’t an idol and neither was he, you were both just you, human and flawed, and in love.

he pulls away after a moment more, placing a few light pecks against your lips before separating completely, and you try to chase his lips again but his hold on your cheek keeps you in place. instead, he presses his forehead against your own, eyes closed as he focuses on steadying his breathing while you flit your gaze around his face, trying to commit each feature to memory.

after what feels like an hour of just existing in the comfortable silence that has engulfed you both, hongjoong pulls away from you, his eyes opening slowly as his hands return to your waist, your own grip on his arms loosening.

“so tomorrow?” he asks, biting his lip before you bring your thumb up to pull the flesh from between his teeth and he places a gentle peck against your finger.

“it’s a date,” you confirm, leaning in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth.

he smiles and says, “i’ll text you,” before he takes a few steps back, forcing you both to separate and you immediately miss him even though he’s still stood right in front of you.

only a moment later the staff member from earlier is stepping back into the room, carrying a bag of your favorite delivery food and making a beeline to you.

you bow in thanks when she hands it to you before doing the same to hongjoong, showing your formal appreciation for the gesture, and the staff member is offering to guide you out of the building.

you’re quick to bid hongjoong goodbye, worrying that you might never leave him unless you go now, and the staff leads you back out the way you came in.

as soon as you make it back to your dorm you feel your phone buzz in your pocket, a text from hongjoong lighting up the screen.

hj<3: can i officially say i’m dating my bias?

↼ ateez masterlist

note this started as delusional texts in the group chat based on the specific instagram photos in the header and turned into this

tell me your thoughts

[cjlouwho]

He looks in the mirror and tries for a smile.

It never quite reaches his eyes, but he tries.

It was a trick he used when he was a kid. If he'd been crying but didn't want anyone to know, he'd smile in the mirror until the redness faded from his face. Until the tears stopped falling and he tricked his brain into being happy again.

He forced himself to think about all the good things he has in his life.

All the things he's accomplished. The awards he's received. The medals. The lives he's saved.

There's a reason he's here.

There's a reason he was put on this earth.

There has to be.

His breath hitches and he has to refocus.

He smiles brighter, makes sure his teeth show this time.

Still doesn't hit the eyes.

Looks a little manic, actually, but that's between him and the bathroom mirror.

It's all good. Everything is good.

He's happy.

He made the right choice. Did the right thing.

It's better for everyone in the long run.

He glances down at the sink. Feels a teardrop fall from his eye, watches it hit the porcelain.

He feels like it's mocking him. Even the things that worked when he was a child fails him today, yesterday, the day before.

However broken he felt back then, it's tenfold now.

His hands grip the countertop. Knuckles white, muscles tense.

He looks in the mirror again and smiles.

Eyes red-rimmed, blurry and burning now.

He blinks until the burning stops, takes another deep breath, and turns away from the mirror.

The smile drops.

He'll try again tomorrow.

[sqh3e]

TWS as different love troupes

⊹ ࣪ ˖ tws as some of my favorite love troupes ! : 𑁤

tws ot6 : nonidol!tws x fem!reader ♡ scenarios and headcanons !

some songs i listened to while making this > 🎧

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

⋆｡˚୨ shinyu as love at first sight

you’d be at the library cause that’s where you liked to spend your free time, shinyu never really visited the library but for some reason he did today. you were standing at the counter talking to the woman behind it just small talk while she checked out a few books you had, the library was quite small it was sorta like a book store. the doors had opened causing the little bell over the door to ring. a tall gentleman with somewhat tan skin came through the door, you both make eye contact and you immediately feel butterflies in your stomach causing you to refocus your attention back to the lady behind the desk. the lady had walked away and shinyu was now standing next to you, there was an awkward silence so he spoke breaking it.

“i’ve read that series it’s really good.”

⋆｡˚୨ dohoon as onesided love

dohoon would be so into you but you already have a boyfriend he’s confessed to you before and you rejected him. he thought after you rejected him he would be able to sort out his feelings but he just can’t he’s in-love with you and if you’d give him a chance he knows he can treat you right. slowly but surely watching you walk around school smiling and laughing with your boyfriend he realizes in the end it won’t be him. for some reason he wants to confess again… maybe this time he can sort out his feeling’s officially, he asked you to meet him outside the gym after 5th period. he knows confessing with break him but his willing to go through the pain so he can be free from the hurt if knowing he already has no chance.

“and i know i’ve said all this before, but it’s true… i am inlove with you but i respect your relationship.”

⋆｡˚୨ youngjae as oblivious to love

he would be so in-love with you, showing all the signs that he wants to be with you but you never pick up on his hints. everyone around you sees it but you youngjae didn’t know how obvious he had to be, when you won your award for best actor in drama class he bought you a dozen roses. constantly tells you how beautiful you are, how good your hair looks and how you always smell great. slowly he was getting frustrated cause he’s not a straight forward kind of guy, he’d thought you’d catch on to his antics but you didn’t which drove him insanely crazy. it got to a point where your mom would help youngjae out, you liked youngjae so maybe that’s why you didn’t pick up on the signs you just thought he was being overly nice.

“y/n i truly love you… like more than a friend.”

⋆｡˚୨ hanjin as childhood sweethearts

you both had been friends since forever, he’s told you before he likes you but didn’t necessarily know what he meant, eventually you caught on and you both had been dating ever since. alot of people expected it like your parents and his, i think they would’ve been more shocked if you two hadn’t been together. hanjin would constantly do things for you as he did when you were kids he would tie your shoes for you, help dust the dust off yourself, let you play in his hair and even fall asleep on his shoulders. it felt nice to be doing the stuff you both stopped doing when you got older he missed it, but most importantly he missed you.

“i love you y/n.”

⋆｡˚୨ jihoon as soulmates

you both were already in a relationship and had been for a few months now, it’s like your heart beats were in-sink like time moved by slowly when you two were together which was a good thing, you liked to save every moment with him short or long. and he felt the exact same way, jihoon would tell you constantly how much he loves you and misses you. any chance he gets he’d always pull you into a hug or just out his arm around you, his love language is physical touch you didn’t like being touched but since it was jihoon it was okay. he’d run his hand through the your hair and ruffle it making it messy.

“your hair smells amazing, is that my shampoo??”

⋆｡˚୨ kyungmin as opposites attract

kyungmin and you would be totally opposites, you’re outgoing and he’s more of the quiet type. but that’s why you liked eachother, he is the type of guy who would admire you from afar the kind of guy who would have a HUGE crush on you but wouldn’t dare say it. your the type of person that would admire from afar and up close, the type of person that if you liked them you’d tell them, he liked the fact you were outgoing, outspoken and just not scared to interact with people. he thought you two would clash but once he found out you were just a down to earth person who just loved living life. he liked everything about you and you liked everything about him, even if people say you two would clash one day then so be it. you both just wanted to enjoy your time together.

“so what if you like horror and i like comedy? let’s watch something with both genres.”

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

authors notes : thanks for reading!! i recently found out kyungmin is no longer introverted??? jaw droppedddd he doesn’t strike me as the extrovert guy but alot of people just think it’s cause he’s more talkative with the members now. but anyways please excuse any errors (if there are any)! also anyway who is waiting on Say It updates it’s coming soon! woooo, but as always hope you’re having a great day/night!

perm taglist (open) : requests (open)

© sqh3e

[ecemf]

The Interview — Matty Healy

18+! MDNI!!!!!! Explicit!!!

Okay so I've never written fanfic or smut before so this could be ass but I just love jealousy sex & the idea of being on a red carpet so...

CW: smut, choking, dom/sub dynamics, dom!matty, sub!reader, use of y/n, alcohol usage, jealous!matty, possessive!matty, established relationship, thigh riding, i think that's it?? lmk if i missed anything

WC: ~3k

Ok I hope y'all like it ENJOY!!

The Interview.

The cameras are almost blinding as you stare out into the crowd of photographers shouting your name, trying to get the best angle for whatever publication they’re working for. Being a top executive at Sony Music meant you mostly worked behind the scenes; out of the spotlight. However, seeing as 18 artists on your label (five of which you yourself handpicked) were up for awards tonight, you couldn’t not show up to The Grammys. Besides, it felt good to dress up once in a while, especially if that meant wearing custom Chanel.

Continuing down the red carpet, you’re stopped by a reporter for Rolling Stone, Bryan Wilson. From the few brief interactions you’ve had with him at industry parties and the stories that have circulated about him, you know the guy’s a sleaze. But, given that there’s a Canon XF605 pointed directly in your face when he asks if you have time for a short interview, you smile sweetly and comply.

“You look stunning tonight, as always, Y/N”, he begins, in typical sleazy reporter fashion, “Can you tell us a little bit about what you’re wearing?” His eyes travel down the expanse of your body, grazing (quite slowly, to be frank) over the daring V-cut of your gown.

You couldn’t really blame him for checking you out, you did look incredible in this dress. Layers of black satin expertly draped over your body created an elegant but sexy silhouette complete with a plunging neckline and a timeless backless design. You knew you looked good, you didn’t need Wilson eye-fucking you to tell.

“Isn’t this The Rolling Stone?” You giggle in response, half-joking, “Shouldn’t you be asking me about Sony Records and leave the fashion questions to Vogue?” To the untrained ear, your tone is light-hearted and sincere, however, there’s an intended edge you’re hoping is coming through.

If he was picking up on the edge, he wasn’t showing it. Wilson continues on checking you out, responding “We hear about Sony Records enough, but it’s a treat to see the woman behind the magic,” he looks directly into the camera and gestures to your body, “especially when the woman looks like this!” He looks at you now, “Why don’t you give us a spin, Y/N?”

You clench your jaw into a tight smile, “You know, I’d really rather talk about the artists up for awards tonight. It’s a record-breaking night for my company, and I’m extremely proud to be here…” You’re trying your best to refocus the conversation on the real reason you’re on the red carpet tonight, but Wilson’s wandering eyes are making it difficult for you to focus on anything.

Finally feeling fed up, you clear your throat, “Sorry, Bryan, am I boring you?”

He breaks out of his stare from your chest and goes red. “Oh! No, I’m sorry I was just… looking at your necklace!” He gestures to the Tiffany & Co. pendant that hangs (conveniently for him) right between your boobs.

“Stunning, innit?” You hear your boyfriend say from behind you as he comes up and possessively wraps his arm around your waist on camera in a way that will definitely be circulating Twitter tomorrow. “Just bought it for her yesterday when I first got to see the dress.” Matty grips your right hip so tight that the satin puckers under his fingertips. You get a feeling he’s been watching this “interview” from afar.

“A beautiful necklace for a beautiful woman, indeed,” Wilson so boldly responds, either not noticing or not caring that Matty was already quite irritated.

With that final comment, Matty grips your hip even tighter, “Right, then,” he says shortly, “Cheers, mate!” He yells over his shoulder while quickly ushering you away from the train wreck of a media appearance.

“I’m gonna kill that guy,” he leans down to quietly whisper in your ear as the two of you make your way into the venue, “Staring at you like a piece of meat live on camera, isn’t he embarrassed?”

“It’s really not a big deal, baby,” you try to reassure him. And to you, it wasn’t, really, compared to some of the other harassment and objectification you’ve experienced in such a male-dominated industry, “He’s just some stupid reporter,”

“Yeah some stupid reporter who doesn’t know how to keep his stupid fucking eyes away from what’s mine,” he growls under his breath.

You grow a bit warm at your boyfriend’s possessive words and decide to push him a little further. “So what, people aren’t allowed to look at me now? We’re kind of on a red carpet if you haven’t realized,”

Matty rolls his eyes as the two of you take your seats at your assigned table. “You know what I mean,” he scoots a bit closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist, “People can look at you all they want, but these,” he trails his hand up your torso, palming your left tit and slightly grazing its nipple through your dress with his thumb. You gasp. “These are mine, and you know that.” he says lowly into your ear.

This was going to be a long night.

—

Seven wins, two acceptance speeches, and a few too many bottles of champagne later, the ceremony was coming to an end. You were so proud of your artists, even those who hadn’t won tonight.

To your (and your aching feet’s) misfortune, your boyfriend was insistent on “making an appearance” at the afterparty, to “touch base with some important blokes”. You weren’t thrilled about the ordeal, but you had a nice buzz going from the free champagne earlier and figured a gin and tonic to top off the night wouldn’t hurt anyone. Boy were you wrong.

You were standing by the bar by yourself, watching Matty “touch base” with the aforementioned “blokes”. Nursing your second gin and tonic, you wonder how much longer their conversation will take, and when you can finally go home (and take your boyfriend to bed). As your mind indulges your fantasies of being fucked to sleep later, you hear an annoying and familiar voice from behind you.

“It breaks my heart to see such a gorgeous woman drinking alone,” no one other than Bryan Wilson saunters up beside you at the bar, “Where’s your man? You think he’d be smarter than to leave such precious goods unattended…” he slurs to you, obviously a few more deep than you were at this point in the night.

As Wilson drunkenly gets too close to you, you turn back to where Matty was talking to see him staring holes into the man’s skull, clenching and unclenching his fists. Your nearing-on-past-tipsy mind flashes back to your boyfriend’s words earlier, and his reaction to the reporter’s initial efforts towards you. You consider your options: 1) tell Wilson to fuck off and continue being bored by yourself at the bar, or 2) play this up a bit, make Matty jealous, have some fun, and probably go home early. Your sixth drink of the night tells you option two is far more enticing, and you agree.

You lean into Wilson a bit, closing some of the distance you were intentionally making. “Ever the flatterer, Bryan,” you lean back and give him a once-over, “I’m shocked that you’re still single, a handsome guy like you with such a smooth mouth on him.”

“It’s intentional baby,” he puts a hand on your arm - uh oh. “Why would I tie down this smooth mouth to one lucky lady? There’s plenty enough to go around…” and just as you think he’s about to make a move you feel a bruising grip on your upper arm tearing you away. Away from Bryan Wilson, away from the bar, away from the party.

You get your bearings and find yourself in a secluded hallway outside the party with your very angry, very sexy boyfriend staring you in the face. “What the fuck was that?” He spits at you, fuming.

“What was what?” You respond, looking up at Matty with your best doe eyes.

He cages your body in between his own and the wall of the hallway, “Don’t play stupid with me now, things can only get worse for you from here, pet.” As you look up at your very jealous partner, and feel the energy radiating off of him, you think to yourself that things can probably only get better.

You maintain your look of faux-innocence as you reply in your sweetest voice “Baby I was just talking to-“

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Matty growls as he grabs your throat and pushes you harder into the wall behind you. “You were letting that perv practically fuck you in front of everybody here. Making everyone think you’re anything but mine.” He pushes his hips into yours to punctuate the word, and you can feel how hard he is. Oh dear. Maybe it’s time to drop the act.

“I’m sorry, you were just taking so long talking to those guys, and I was getting so impatient and needy for you,” You bat your eyelashes in an attempt to seduce your way out of undoubtedly being fucked silly in some corner of this hotel right now. “I just want you to take me home, baby,” You run your hands down his chest, the way you know he likes.

Matty scoffs at this. “Aw, my poor little slut can’t wait longer than an hour for me to take her home and fuck her?” You feel a heat pool at your center from his words and absolute condescension. His hand around your neck comes up to grip your jaw, holding your head so that you can’t look anywhere but his eyes. “So fucking pathetic. Having to whore yourself around in public so that I can give you some attention? Trying to embarrass me in front of all our colleagues meanwhile, the only thing embarrassing is how stupid you look letting that scumbag put his hands on you,”

He holds your face an inch away from his own, his eyes searching for a response in yours. “I think you may need to be reminded just who you belong to.” He says darkly. And with that, he’s dragging you again, this time into the bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

As soon as the door closes he has you pressed up against it face-first. He wastes no time undoing the back of your dress, practically ripping it off of your body. You hope he doesn’t do any damage to the new gown, but to be honest, you’re not sure you care in this moment either way. Upon removing the dress, your boyfriend can see that you’ve forgone any undergarments (half because of the dress itself, half because you knew it would drive him crazy - which it does).

“Oh my fucking god,” he practically moans when he sees your now naked form pressed up against the door for him. “You’ve been ready for me all night, haven’t you princess?” He whispers in your ear, pressing himself to your back, slightly grinding into your bare ass. You squirm with his words and the minimal stimulation he provides.

“Well let’s just take a look,” He reaches his hand around from where he’s standing and drags a finger through your soaking folds agonizingly slowly. Your breath hitches. “Oh my poor girl,” he tuts, “how long have you been soaking through your dress baby?” He resumes his teasing, touching everywhere that isn’t your clit or your entrance. You whine and push your hips back in protest.

Matty grabs you by your waist and holds you in place against the door. “I think I asked you a question, slut.” He barks. You only grow wetter at his words and his toying.

“Since-“ you start, but you’re cut off by a moan when he takes his free hand to pull on your left nipple. His teasing is almost overwhelming, and you’re not sure you even remember the question the way your head is clouded with lust and need.

You’re pulled out of your hazy state by a hard slap to your pussy, “Since what? Huh? I haven’t even taken my cock out and you’re already fucked dumb. Answer me. How long have you been this wet?” He asks again, rolling your nipple between his fingers while inching closer and closer to your entrance with his calloused hand.

“Since you were grabbing my hips on the red carpet,” you manage to stutter out “during the interview.”

With that answer, he removes both of his hands from you. You put your hands up to brace yourself from slamming into the door from your newfound loss of support. Matty laughs darkly.

“So that’s what this is about, huh angel?” He grabs you by your hips, spinning to face him and pushing you even harder into the door behind you, “you like it when I get riled up, so I’ll treat you like the whore that you are?”

You look up at him with your glazed-over eyes and nod dumbly.

“Well here’s the problem with that,” Matty begins sucking on your neck harshly, no doubt leaving bruises, “You… are… my… whore… no… one… else’s…” he punctuates every word by leaving a new mark on your chest with his mouth. He takes a step back, admiring his handiwork. “Gorgeous,” he mutters as he admires your now hickey-covered tits, “you should really see this baby.”

Matty leads you over to the sink of the bathroom, turning you around to see your naked and marked-up form in the mirror. Looking at the new marks on your chest, you realize that he’s left them in the distinct pattern of your dress’s neckline, meaning there’s no hiding them. No hiding the fact that you’re his. You squeeze your thighs together at the thought.

Leaning over your shoulder in the mirror, you watch as your boyfriend trails his hand down your body to the place you need him most. Unsurprisingly, though, he doesn’t touch you, he simply ghosts his hand over the outside of your now sopping heat. You press yourself into him.

“Please, baby,” you whine, making your best puppy eyes in the mirror at him. “Please, I need you to touch me.” You’re so desperate he doesn’t even need to ask you to beg.

“Do you think you deserve to be touched?” He responds, continuing his teasing, “You’ve been quite a bad girl tonight, baby. And bad girls don’t get what they want.”

“I’ll be good, I promise,” you beg even more, tears forming at your eyes with the desperation he’s built in you.

“Prove it,” Matty responds, trailing his hand up to your mouth. You gladly take his digits in, watching as he toys with you and stretches you out, wishing he would do that in other places. You hear the clinking of his belt, and you perk up, thinking that maybe he’s just going to put you out of your horny misery and fuck you already, but of course he’s not.

“Can’t have you getting yourself all over my nice trousers now can we love?” He says as he pulls his pants down to his ankles. You watch still with all four of his fingers in your mouth as he takes his newly naked thigh and roughly slots it in between your legs from behind. Your eyes roll back at the much-needed friction it provides. Matty leans in, “Right then. Be a good girl and ride my thigh, hm? You’re gonna have to get yourself off before I believe you after tonight’s theatrics.”

Embarrassing as it may be, you are in no condition to care in this moment. You immediately start feverishly fucking your boyfriend’s thigh, moaning around his fingers at the friction you’ve been needing all night, a ball already forming in the pit of your stomach. Not more than a second after your head falls forward in relief, your boyfriend grabs you by your hair to force you to look in the mirror, “Nuh-uh” he growls, “You’re gonna watch while you fuck yourself on my thigh. You’re gonna see just how pathetic you are, crying with relief and coming undone when I’ve not even touched you.”

Matty’s words and the sight of him and you in the mirror add to the very quickly growing warmth in your body. Your skin is on fire as you grip the sink in front of you, trying to use whatever leverage you can to get yourself off faster. You take one hand to start kneading your tits, playing with your nipples, hoping some added stimulation will help; you whine at the new sensation.

“There you go princess, that’s it,” he coos in your ear, “so good f’me, taking directions so well baby.”

The praise goes straight to your core and you can feel yourself clench around nothing. Matty can tell by your breathing that you’re close, so he grabs you by your hips to help you, moving you back and forth on his thigh, assisting in your rhythm. “Come on my thigh,” he demands in your ear; and you do. That white-hot pleasure you’ve been chasing since you saw your boyfriend on the red carpet this afternoon finally washes over you. But it’s not enough.

Matty takes his fingers out of your mouth but keeps you firm against him. As you come down from your high, you look at him in the mirror desperately. Your orgasm was, well, an orgasm, but you know it could be so much better if he would just fuck you.

“Matty please,” You whine, still making sweet eye contact, “Baby, I need more.”

Matty nods his head in the direction of the door. “Put your dress on, love,” You think you might cry, until he whispers in your ear, “I’m not done with you yet, princess.”

---------

Ahh!! Should I write a pt. two when the couple gets home?? Thank y'all for reading my first smut omfg I can't believe I did this...

[0cta9on]

Unlikely Duet - 6

length: +7k words

Genre: Fluff

NewJeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)

(Author's Note: I could've taken another day to edit this, but I wanted to upload it asap so here it is :^) Hopefully my writing isn't too garbage and I hope y'all enjoy <3)

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

Minji’s POV

I could do nothing but pace around my room, anxiety fueling every step. Danielle was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago to drive us to the fair, but on this particular day of all days, she decides to be late. My vice president, the one who I can lean on when I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities and even more of a stickler for rules and punctuality compared to me, is late.

The brunt of my morning was spent avoiding my parents like the plague, staying cooped up in my room and eating my meals as quickly as possible. To them, it probably seems like I’m giving them the silent treatment for what they said last night (which I’m still upset about), but in reality, I was riddled with anxious thoughts and simply avoided speaking in case I accidentally let it slip that I was planning on lying to them. I’ve done it tons of times before, but every single time is nerve wracking. While I hate that it’s gotten to this point, I owe a lot of my sanity to what I’ve been able to get away with by lying. Besides, it’s probably better this way - my parents still believe that I’m their perfect daughter and I still get to have some semblance of a social life.

Like the sonorous tones of a church bell, a resounding ding emits from my phone. They’re here. With shaky hands, I grab my tote bag from my bed and carefully tiptoe down the stairs. Right as I reach the front door, my father calls out to me from the living room.

“Minji? Where are you going?” He asks, a look of curiosity on his face.

“O-oh, uhh, I guess I forgot to tell you this but I was actually planning on going to the library to study with Danielle today.” I grin at him, trying my best to sound convincing. Our eyes lock as he studies my expression for what feels like an eternity. It might just be my stress causing my eyes to play tricks on me, but there seems to be a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he doesn’t want me to go. I shake it off and refocus on the task at hand.

“Well, I better get going-”

“Wait,” he interrupts before leaving the room for a moment. He comes back with a $20 bill in his hands and offers it to me. “Here.”

Panic began to set in. Did he find out I was actually going to the fair? If he did, why would he be giving me money? Shouldn’t he be angry at me for lying to him?

“Um, what’s this for? We’re just going to the library,” I reiterate in hopes that my initial worries were wrong.

“In case you two get hungry after, you should get some snacks. Food fuels the brain.” The relief I felt after he said those words is better than any award I got in my entire academic career up to this point. Normally it would raise red flags for my father to be doing something uncharacteristic like this, but I didn’t care. I’m just glad to almost be free.

“Thanks,” I say as I take the cash. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Don’t stay out too late. Don’t be messing around while studying. And-”

I shut the door behind me before I could hear the rest of his sentence. It was probably some other generic dad advice, like “Don’t talk to strange boys at night” or something like that. The sight of Danielle’s mom’s car parked on the other side of the street was like seeing a boat heading your direction after being stranded on an island for 15 years. Hanni beckoned me from the passenger’s side window, an excited grin painted on her face.

“Hurry up girl, let’s go!!” She shouted. As I open the door to the backseat, Hyein and Haerin wave back at me.

“Hi Minji!”

“Yo.”

“Hi guys, sorry, my dad wanted to talk to me before I left,” I replied as I got in the car. “Danielle, what took you so long, I was pacing around my room for the past 20 minutes anxious out of my mind!”

“I’m sorry, there was something I had to take care of before I could take my mom’s car,” she apologizes as she tampers with the rearview mirror, clearly annoyed with its inability to swivel properly.

Hanni pops her head from the front seat. “Okay y’all, we just need to take a deep breath and calm down. We’re going to the fair to chill out and have fun, let’s not let petty things like this ruin the day before it’s even started, alright?” Haerin and Hyein nod enthusiastically, peering over at me to gauge my reaction. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in order to allow my mind to forget about the stress from my morning. Today is the day that I get to let loose and forget about all the pressures I face in my regular life. Nothing else matters but having fun. As I open my eyes again, I am welcomed by the smiling faces of my four dearest friends (Danielle was especially happy about finally fixing the rearview mirror). My lips curl into a smile as I look back at them.

“Yeah, you’re right, Hanni,” I admit. “Okay, let’s go!!” We all cheer as Danielle steps on the gas. Hanni turns up the radio, blasting a loud pop song that blares out of the windows as we cruise through the neighborhood.

______________________________________________________________

The lights, the sounds, the smells, everything about the fair was overwhelming in the best way possible. Large groups of friends and families meandered along the concrete pathways, talking and laughing as they try their hand at classic carnival games or satiate their hunger with fried food and extravagant sweets. A giant ferris wheel sat in the background, the sunlight peeking through its rotors. A wave of nostalgia washes over me as I’m reminded of old family memories. Before they pressured me into trying to obtain some kind of impossible perfection, I used to be able to exist simply as their daughter, who they loved and played with like any other child.

“Hey Minji, are you okay?” Hyein asks me. I snap out of my thoughts to find the girls looking back at me with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about something,” I reassure them. “What do you guys wanna do first?”

“I don’t know Ms. President, what do you wanna do?” Hanni asks with a wide grin.

“Well, I guess we can-”

I freeze as I see a familiar face in the distance, intermingled with the crowd. Yuno is here. With the convenience store girl.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

“Where the hell did he run off to?” I grumble as I struggle to search for Yujin in the crowd. The fair was more overwhelming than I could’ve imagined - it was difficult navigating through the sea of strangers without accidentally rubbing elbows with them, all while trying to find oxygen through the constant stench of fried foods and sugar wafting through the air. At the very least, the lights were pretty to look at and I would be lying if I said the ferris wheel didn’t pique my interest.

Winter chuckles at my annoyance. “Relax, he’s just getting a corndog. See, he’s on his way over here right now,” she says, gesturing through a gap in the crowd. Lo and behold, Yujin skips towards us with a corndog in hand and a stupid grin on his face.

“Look what I got!” He presents his fried snack to us with the excitement of a child presenting a drawing to their parents. An ungodly amount of ketchup and mustard drips off the corndog, creating a gross glob of orange on the ground.

“Is that healthy?” Winter asks, concern laced in her voice. Her words fall on deaf ears as Yujin chomps off a large piece, covering his mouth in sauce. I chuckle in disbelief, both deeply disturbed and quietly impressed, while Winter hands him a pack of napkins from her purse.

I take the opportunity to look around at my surroundings again. As I gazed out amongst the crowd of smiling faces, I suddenly felt out of place in it all, like I wasn’t allowed to be here. Everything felt so foreign to me, I wasn’t sure if I should feel at ease or on edge. Whether it’s paranoia or just a hunch, I couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling at the back of my head.

“Hey Yuno?” Winter nudges me.

I turn my attention towards her. “What?”

“Isn’t that the student council president?”

My heart stops for a split second as I look down the other end of her finger. In the heart of the crowd is Minji, huddled around her friends. She’s wearing a simple outfit of a gray collegiate sweater and jeans, yet my eyes were naturally drawn to her like a magnet.

“Y-yeah, that’s her,” I stutter, trying to maintain composure.

“Mm, issa Danielle? Les go shay hi!” Yujin exclaims with a mouth full of food, running toward them before I could stop him.

“God dammit…”

“What’s wrong, do you not wanna say hi?” Winter asks as we follow the trail through the crowd Yujin left behind.

“It’s not that, it’s just… Whatever, let’s just go.” With every step I take, my heart rate begins to accelerate as, once again, fate pulls me towards Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

He’s coming this way!! Why is he coming this way?? Did he see me? Should I run? No, why would I run? Pull it together, Minji!! Maybe if I pretend I didn’t see him, he’ll just walk past me. Why would I do that?? Agh!!

“Ketchup… and mustard,” Haerin blurts out, drawing puzzled glances from the group. Suddenly, a boy wearing a white eyepatch emerges from the crowd, carrying a corndog smeared with red and yellow condiments.

“Danielle!!” He calls out, waving excitedly. “Hi!”

“Yujin? What are you doing here?” Danielle questions, a hint of surprise present in her voice.

“I’m with my friends!” The boy, Yujin, exclaims as Yuno and the convenience store girl appear behind him, drawing an impish grin from Hanni. I couldn’t help but feel underdressed when compared to convenience store girl’s flowery sundress and cardigan. “I didn’t expect to see you here too! This is great!”

“Uh yeah, I guess it is,” Danielle responds awkwardly before turning to us. “Um, this is Yujin, I’ve been helping him and his grandma out recently.”

“We’re friends!” He adds enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I suppose we are.” 

I couldn’t help but giggle at Danielle’s uncharacteristic awkwardness. Normally, she’s the serious voice of reason that stays calm under pressure, yet here she was, looking like an embarrassed older sister flustered by the antics of her younger sibling.

“It’s nice to meet you, Yujin,” I greet warmly. “I’m Minji, also a friend of Danielle’s.”

“Oh, you must be the student council president!” He replies eagerly. “These are my friends, Yuno and Winter. Yuno might look a little scary, but don’t worry, he only fights bad guys. He helped me and Winter out before! And Winter is really shy, but she’s really nice once you get to know her!”

“H-hello,” Winter stutters with a polite smile, while Yuno offers a simple nod. A flush of warmth colors my cheeks as our eyes briefly meet before we both quickly avert our gazes. Unfortunately, Hanni notices this and stifles a laugh, making my cheeks grow even warmer with embarrassment.

“Hello, I’m Hyein!” Our youngest chimes in. “This is Haerin, and that over there is Hanni! It’s nice to meet you all!”

As the group falls into casual conversation, I can’t help but peer over at Yujin’s eyepatch and be reminded of my conversation with Yuno last night. Despite his injuries, he’s chock full of energy and vibrancy that contrasts with Yuno’s usual solitary and soft-spoken demeanor. The difference in their personalities is cute in a way. Winter, on the other hand, shares many similarities with Yuno. Like him, she’s very soft-spoken and a little awkward, but has an aura of kindness around her despite that. I imagine the two of them got along well because of this - for some reason, this fact irks me.

“Since we’re all here to let loose at the fair, why don’t you guys join us? The more the merrier I always say, isn’t that right, Minj?” Hanni says, nudging my ribs with her elbow. I didn’t even have to look at her to know what kind of face she’s making. 

Coincidentally, my eyes meet Yuno’s once again, and I quickly break away as I think of what to say. I would hate to butt into Yuno’s time with his friends, but a voice in the back of my head was telling me otherwise.

“Yeah, you guys can join us if you want to,” I say as I give into the voices. My lips curl into a smile, but inside, I couldn’t shake the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Yuno appears taken aback at my answer as a slight pinkish hue grows on his cheeks. The group moves through the crowd looking for what to do first with Yujin leading the way and Yuno trailing close behind. I stay in the back, letting my complicated feelings fester.

“H-hello, Minji.” Winter’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn to find her trailing behind the group alongside me. Her simple makeup look is subtle, yet it perfectly accentuated her natural beauty. Pair that with her cute outfit and she could have any guys she wants. A shiver went through my spine at the thought.

“What’s up?” I ask, trying my best to act natural.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re doing okay. I never got the chance to after what happened that night.”

My mind flashes back to when Yuno and Winter had saved me from that drunk man a couple days ago. I was too terrified and too weak to protect myself, yet this timid girl jumped in front of him to protect me. And here I am, feeling all weird because I think she looks prettier than me.

“I’m doing fine now. Thanks again for that, I owe you one,” I express.

She quickly shakes her head at my offer. “Y-you don’t have to do that. If you want, I can give you a can of pepper spray. I have a couple more of them at home.”

A chuckle escapes my lips, and Winter seems to loosen up at this. “I might have to take you up on that offer,” I say, half-jokingly. A wave of shame washes over me as I suddenly felt bad for being jealous of her. Maybe the events of this morning still have their effects on me or maybe I ate something bad earlier, but something feels off with me today and I’m not sure why.

“Guys, look over here!” Yujin shouts excitedly from the front of the group, pointing at a giant Spider-man plush sitting on a prize table for a basketball game. Two basketball hoops stood tall before him, much higher than a regular basketball hoop. “I HAVE to get this for my room!” He quickly pays the game attendant, who places three basketballs on the counter in front of him.

“Alright, the game is simple. All you have to do is make at least one basket and you get a prize,” the worker explains. Yujin takes the first ball and psyches himself up, giving the ball a couple dribbles before throwing it… And completely missing the hoop.

“Aw man,” he groans in disappointment. “Yuno, why don’t you try?”

Yuno accepts the challenge, gripping the second ball with steely determination. I watch with bated breath as the ball leaves his hands. It soars high into the sky… and completely misses the hoop. The ball shoots way over the hoop and ends up knocking a corndog out of someone’s hand. The girls and I struggle to stifle our laughter as Yuno’s cheeks turn a bright red.

“A-ah… Shit…” He curses under his breath. “M-maybe Winter should try…”

Winter steps forward, her hands shaking as she grips the final ball. We all freeze with anticipation as she shoots the ball towards the hoop. Miraculously, it arcs perfectly in the air and lands through the hoop with a satisfying swoosh. A scattered array of claps and cheers erupt from some bystanders that witnessed that moment, but none are as ecstatic as Yujin, who jumps and cheers with the excitement of a kid on his birthday.

“Congratulations, ma’am! Which prize would you like?” The worker asks her.

“T-the Spiderman p-please,” Winter stammers, accepting the toy and handing it to Yujin.

“Ahhh!!! Winter, you’re the best!!!” He screams, drawing a variety of reactions from passersby. Yuno flashes her a quick thumbs up while Hyein, Haerin, and Hanni shower her with compliments, which Winter modestly tries to brush away with a bashful smile. Meanwhile, Danielle is occupied with trying to contain Yujin’s overflowing energy.

“M-my dad really likes basketball, so he made me play w-when I was younger. I-it’s nothing really,” Winter explains. She’s kind, pretty, AND athletic? It’s almost as if God himself created the perfect person and placed them in front of me on a day I decided not to dress up. There’s no wonder I felt jealous of her. But why am I jealous of her?

“Are you okay?” Yuno asks me.

I startle slightly at his sudden appearance. “H-huh? Yeah, why?” I awkwardly chuckle. Yuno’s gentle gaze meets mine with genuine concern, momentarily distracting myself from my swirling thoughts. I found myself wanting to draw closer and get lost in his irises.

What?! Minji, what are you even thinking?! Have you gone insane?!

“You look… upset,” he admits shyly. “I just wanted t-”

Suddenly, a basketball bounces off of the other hoop and hurtles towards Winter. In a flash, Yuno turns and catches the ball right before it hits her in the face, his gentle expression replaced with a stern glare at the person who threw the ball.

“Watch it,” he growls in a calm yet menacing tone as he tosses the ball back. His face immediately softens as he turns back to Winter. “You alright?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks, Yuno,” she answers with an appreciative smile. I felt my heart drop from my chest as I watched their interaction, confusion and envy creating a storm in my mind.

“Sooooooo, you gonna make a move or no?” I jump as Hanni startles me from behind.

“W-what??” I sputter.

“I recognize that face anywhere. You’re jealous~.” 

Heat creeps up my face as I struggle to find the words to explain myself. “Wha- I am not jealous!” I seethe, trying to keep my voice down. “I’m just… impressed by his reaction timing.”

“Mhm,” she hums, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m impressed by how close they look. Don’t you think they would make a cute couple, Minj?”

Her words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. “Y-yeah, I’m sure they would,” I reply, unconvincingly. “W-whatever, like I said I’m not jealous.”

“Oh sweet, sweet Minji,” Hanni sighs, shaking her head as she pats my shoulder. She follows the rest of the group as they move on, leaving me to watch Yuno and Winter as they walk side by side. No matter how hard I try, I can't rationalize this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see them together. I need to do something, but I don’t know why.

______________________________________________________________

We spent the next hour walking around, playing all the fair games, and filing our stomachs with an array of different snacks the fair offers. I tried to enjoy myself, but the pit in my stomach continued to grow and grow until it became unbearable. I even started to consider Hanni’s words, but no amount of inner turmoil would make me go that insane. 

As the sun dipped low, casting an enchanting orange hue over the fairgrounds, it seemed like the perfect time to watch the sunset from atop the ferris wheel. As excited as I am to be able to watch the sunset, I still couldn’t get rid of this weird feeling as I watched Yuno chat with Winter and Yujin at the front of the group. Hanni seemed to notice this too.

“Girl, you look miserable,” she remarks, resting her chin on my shoulder with a sympathetic pout. “You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“I-I am having fun. This is my ‘having fun’ face.” I flash her a forced grin in a feeble attempt to mask my true feelings. Hanni sighs heavily right as we reach the front of the line.

“Each cabin only fits two people, so you’ll have to split into groups of two,” the ride operator explains. Naturally, Hyein and Haerin pair up together, waving excitedly at us as they eagerly step into the first cabin.

“Yuno, do you wanna ride together?” Yujin asks him. Before he could answer, however, Hanni takes matters into her own hands and pushes Danielle into Yujin.

“Hey Yujin, did you know Danielle is really scared of heights? She needs a big strong man protecting her while she’s up there.” Danielle silently curses at her with her eyes as Hanni pushes the duo into the next cabin. My eyes go wide with panic as I suddenly catch onto her plan.

“Winter, I love your dress! Let’s chat about it on the ferris wheel!” Hanni exclaims as she grabs Winter’s hand, pulling her towards the open doors of the cabin. Right before the doors close behind them, I catch a glimpse of Hanni flashing me a thumbs up. My heart threatened to explode from my chest as I found myself left alone with Yuno. 

“S-soooooo… U-um, do you wanna, um, I-I gues-”

“Let’s go,” Yuno utters as walks ahead of me into the cabin. I mentally facepalm, cringing at my sudden inability to formulate a coherent sentence. I step into the cabin and sit across from Yuno. As the doors seal shut, the space suddenly felt a lot smaller and more intimate. I gaze out at the orange glow of the sun to distract myself, both mortified and oddly blissful.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

My heart kept chugging like a speeding steam train, I worried that Minji could hear it echo off the walls of the cabin. Throughout the day, I could feel her gaze lingering on me and I don’t know why. Did she wanna talk about yesterday? Was something on her mind? Was there something in my hair? Did I smell? I would’ve showered before I left the house if I knew I was gonna bump into her.

A strange feeling fills my chest as I observe the way the sunlight reflects off of her skin. The same feeling that had been haunting me for the past couple of days. Minji constantly invades my thoughts, stirring emotions I couldn’t comprehend. Everything about her felt new and strange, but I couldn’t deny that being around her made me feel happy. I drop my gaze to the floor as she turns to me, hoping she didn’t catch me staring.

“Sooo…” She began, filling the silence. “Winter seems nice.”

I tilt my head in confusion at her sudden interest in Winter. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”

“How’d you two meet?” She asks with an odd amount of intrigue

For the most part, Minji is an open book. I never have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling, and unlike her parents, she never seems to be hiding some ulterior motive beneath a gentle exterior - until now. At first, I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but being the open book she is, it became clear as day that Minji was hiding something. But why? Maybe it wasn’t my place to pry, but my instincts told me otherwise.

“We have english together, but we didn’t start being… ‘friends’ until a couple days ago. She and Yujin kinda just… inserted themselves into my life. And now we’re here,” I explain. Minji’s brow furrows in response.

“Wait, you only started talking a couple days ago? I thought you two were dating.” She hurriedly clasps her hand over her mouth as if she didn’t mean to let that out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“We’re not dating,” I say a little too quickly. “Just friends.”

The cabin falls silent as both of our cheeks turn a light crimson. Minji turns back to the window, and my eyes gravitate towards her face once again as if that’s where they’re meant to be. The light and the shadows dance on her skin creating a work of art right in front of me. She’s beautiful in the most impossible way, defying everything I know about the world just by existing. My heart pumps faster and faster as my mind begins to run wild, imagining the two of us together as more than friends. Going on dates and being close. Just like this. Maybe Minji wanted to know if Winter and I were dating because she’s interested in me. I quickly shot that idea down. Those kinds of thoughts only lead down a bad road.

“My parents used to take my brother and I to the fair when we were younger,” Minji says, snapping me out of my daze. “We would go around and play all the games, trying to win the prizes. The games were always rigged, so we never won any. One time, I got so upset that I couldn’t win a bear toy that I started crying. My dad ended up paying extra just so he could get me the bear.” A gentle smile graces her face as she recounts her memory.

“We would always ride the ferris wheel at the end so we could watch the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel, just like this. I was always too short, so my dad had to hoist me up so I could see through the window.” She chuckles lightly before her smile eventually fades from her lips and her gaze falls to the floor. “Sorry, being here must have made me nostalgic. It’s been awhile since I got to watch the sunset from a ferris wheel.”

“Don’t be sorry. I like hearing you talk.” My eyes grow wide with panic as I realize the implication of my words. “I-I meant I like you. I MEAN YOUR STORY!! I liked your story…” My face falls into my palms in an attempt to hide the deepening blush, and I let out a muffled “Fuck” under my breath. I can hear Minji trying to stifle her laughter, which only makes me feel worse. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself six feet under and stay there for eternity.

“I know what you mea- AHHH!!!”

I jolt my head up right as Minji jumps from her seat and into my lap. Bewilderment, accompanied by a million other emotions, runs through my mind as she wraps her arms around my head and hides her face in the crook of my neck.

“M-Minji, uhh w-what are you-”

“There’s a spider on the seat!” She exclaims, her voice tingling with fear. I maneuver my head around her and see the tiniest spider I’ve ever seen scurrying around the spot where Minji once sat. “Ahhh, I really hate spiders!!”

I try to pry her body off of me, but her grip is tighter than an anaconda. A wave of deja vu washes over me as I suddenly start to feel lightheaded.

“M-Minji… Y-you’re choking m-me…” Right before I feel like I’m about to blackout, Minji releases her grip on my neck and slides off of my lap into the space next to me. The seat is a little cramped, but it’s better than dying in such an embarrassing way.

“I-I’M SO SORRY, YUNO!!” She apologizes, her face a bright tomato red. She flinches as the spider continues to move around on the opposite seat, wincing with each movement. “I-I really, really, really, REALLY hate spiders.”

Even after she almost choked me to death, I couldn’t help but find her cute as she shields her eyes with delicate hands, her face nestled into my shoulder. A grin threatens to grow on my lips as I try to comfort her with a few gentle pats on the head.

“I used to be afraid of spiders when I was a kid,” I began in a calming tone. “Whenever I saw one, I always cried to my parents about it. One day, I found one in the bathroom, so I ran to my mom sobbing and told her to kill it. Instead of killing it, she held me in her arms and carried me to the bathroom where it was. I was just like you, hiding my face on her shoulder because I was too scared to even look at it. In a gentle voice, she told me about how it was alone and probably looking for its family. If I killed it, then its family would be sad. She told me that she would be sad if I was suddenly killed when I was out all alone. From that day on, I was never afraid of spiders. Every time I saw one, I would carry it outside so it could find its family.” 

I chuckle under my breath. “I don’t think it actually works like that, but I don’t kill spiders because of her. Because of my mom.”

As I finish my story, I notice Minji’s eyes watering and her lip quivering as if she’s about to cry. “Ah shit, are you okay?” I ask with great concern.

“S-Sorry, that was just… really sweet,” she sniffles. I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile as I simultaneously fought the urge to wipe her tears away. As she calms down, we sit together in silence, watching the tiny spider walk around the cabin.

“He’s just a little guy,” Minji utters, a cute grin on her face. “I wonder why I was so scared of you before.”

Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I open up the notification to see a selfie of Yujin and Danielle with the giant Spiderman plush wedged in between them. Despite Danielle’s awful personality, Yujin seems to like her, so I guess it’s alright. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve easily mistaken them for siblings.

“Aww, that’s cute. We should send one back,” Minji suggests, her eyes lighting up. 

“O-oh, uh, sure. How do I…” After a minute of hopelessly fumbling through the labyrinth of options on the screen, Minji gently takes the phone from me and opens up the camera with a simple tap.

“Do you know how to use a phone, Yuno?” She teases.

“U-uh, no…” I answer, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment. Her eyes widened with surprise at my response. “It’s my first phone, and I just got it today so I haven’t really had a chance to properly look through it.”

“O-okay, well just press on this gray square over here if you wanna open up the camera,” she explains in a kind tone, free of any judgment. She raises her arm and I can see the two of us reflected onto the screen. “Scoot a little closer so we can both be in the frame.”

With a gulp, I scoot closer to her in the already cramped space. The flowery scent of her hair wafts through my nostrils, gentle and clean. Hypnotized by the scent, I don’t realize I’m staring at her until she nudges me with her elbow.

“Look at the camera,” she reminds me, a knowing smile playing on her lips. The phone camera manages to catch the redness of my cheeks as I glance back at my reflection. Minji snaps a few shots before reviewing her work.

“They came out pretty well, don’t you think?” She inquires, and I can only nod in agreement, despite my less-than-stellar appearance in the photos. Minji, on the other hand, looks as pretty as ever. Even when she’s not doing much, the camera seems to pick up on all her good sides. She fiddles with my phone for a little bit before handing it back to me.

“Here, I put my number in so you can send me the photos,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-not at all,” I stutter excitedly, my heart soaring in the air. Minji giggles at my elation and we share a laugh in that cramped ferris wheel cabin. In that moment, as the sunset bathes us in its warm glow, everything falls into place. The weird feelings, the incessant thoughts - they all lead to one undeniable truth. I’m in love with Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

As I step out of the cabin, I see the rest of our friends waiting for us at the front of the ferris wheel. Instinctively, I reach my hand out towards Minji as she carefully steps out, which she accepts with a small grin adorning her lips. Though the contact is brief, the memory of her delicate hand in mine etches itself into my memory.

“Soooooo, did you two have fun?” Hanni asks us with an unnerving smirk that could only mean trouble. Before I get a chance to answer however, Minji grabs her wrist and leads her away.

“I-I’m going to the bathroom, Hanni you’re coming with me!” Her voice echoes as she drags Hanni away, trailed by the rest of her friends like ducklings following their mother. Perplexed, Winter, Yujin, and I settle onto a nearby bench to rest in the shade.

“The ferris wheel was fun, I took a lot of pictures of the sunset!” Yujin shares, displaying the photos on his phone. Almost his entire gallery was full of sun from slightly varying angles, along with a few selfies with Danielle. Her gentler side she exclusively shows to Yujin is such a stark contrast from her usual coldness, it’s almost unsettling.

“I feel exhausted.” Winter slumps beside me, her head tilting to the side as if she was too tired to even hold it up. “Hanni is really nice, but I felt so drained after talking to her for five minutes. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from.” I quietly snicker to myself. That seems on brand for Hanni.

My mind wanders back to the epiphany I had earlier. “Um, can I ask you two something… odd?” Their heads perk up, looking at me expectantly. “Have you guys ever… ‘dated’ anyone before?”

“I’ve had crushes before, but I was always too scared to confess,” Yujin admits.

“What about you, Winter? Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I ask.

“Um, not exactly…” With a hint of reluctance, she retrieves her phone from her purse, revealing a polaroid tucked in her phone case -  a snapshot of Winter with her arms wrapped around a girl with striking eyes and jet black hair.

Both of our jaws drop, simultaneously shocked and impressed.

“Oh shit…” I mutter before coming to my senses. She’s pretty, but not Minji pretty.

“Wow, that’s your girlfriend, Winter?!” Yujin exclaims. Winter smiles shyly as she puts her phone back in her purse.

“Y-yeah. She’s studying in Japan right now, so I don't get to see her often. I hope she visits soon; I think you guys would get along with her really well.” The look on her face as she thinks of her girlfriend reminds me of my mother’s face in old wedding photos. I don’t understand anything about love or relationships, but that face told me everything I needed to know. “Why did you want to know, Yuno?”

My cheeks suddenly turn warm. “Oh, uh… No reason.”

As if on cue, Minji and the rest of her friends return from the restroom, with Minji looking noticeably flustered and Hanni more excited than ever.

“It’s getting dark, so we were planning on heading back,” Danielle says. “Do you guys need a ride home?”

“O-oh, it’s okay, w-we were gonna take the subway home,” Winter replies.

“WAIT!” Yujin shouts suddenly before turning to her. “Winter, can we ride with them? Pleaseeeeee?” He grabs her sleeve and looks up at her with pleading eyes. 

“I-I guess if it’s okay with them.” “WOOHOO!” Yujin cheers. “I call shotgun!” He dashes toward the parking lot, his Spiderman plush bobbing in his arms.

“Hey, that’s my seat!” Hanni exclaims, running after him. In the midst of commotion, I sneak over to Minji.

“H-hi,” I stutter, brimming with nervous excitement.

“H-hey.” Even with the sun completely set, her smile manages to illuminate everything around us. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but the air felt different compared to the times we’ve talked before. That strange yet euphoric feeling still lingers in my chest, this time I finally know what that feeling is - I think. Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s the fumes of fried food decaying my brain. The only thing I know for sure is that I like being around Minji.

“Are you two going to come with us or no?” Hyein calls out to us while Haerin glares suspiciously in our direction. Flustered, we walk side by side towards the parking lot, following distantly behind the rest of the group. The scattered murmurs of the crowd begin to fade behind us, the chirping of crickets and the subtle crunching of rocks underneath our feet taking their place. An ombre of growing indigo looks down at us from a cloudless sky, dotted with specks of starlight thousands of lightyears away. Despite their distance, they shine brightly against the night sky, almost as bright as the girl walking next to me.

“Yuno,” Minji voice breaks through my daydreams, pulling me back to the present. “You’re staring.”

“Ah… Sorry…” I turn my head away to hide the heat creeping up my face, prompting a soft giggle from her.

“You know, you’re not what I expected at all.”

Curious, I turn my gaze back towards her. “What do you mean?”

Her eyebrows furrow as she thinks about her response, and I bite my lower lip to stifle my smile at her cute expression. “Ever since sophomore year, I’ve always heard whispers about this scary guy that goes around fighting people. I never believed it because I thought it was too cliche to be true,” she begins, shooting me a playful glance I scratch the back of my head, suddenly feeling sheepish. 

“That is, until two years later, when I come face to face with the ‘scary guy’, all bloody and bruised from a fight that happened two seconds ago. When I first met you, I thought you were some jerk who liked hurting others for the fun of it. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” Minji looks up at me, eyes full of remorse. I’ve seen others use this look on the people I’ve hurt, but never on me. To be on the receiving end of it felt disconcerting.

“You don’t have to apolog-”

“You’re kind and caring and you never hesitate to stand up for what’s right even when no one else will. While I don’t agree with your methods, I think the reason why you fight is very admirable, and if people just stopped being scared of you for two seconds, they could see how cute of a person you are.” Her hand shoots up to her mouth while her eyes go wide with panic.

Did I hear her right? Did she just call me… cute??

“I MEANT GOOD!!” She exclaims, correcting herself. “I meant to say you’re a good person…” We stand there, turned away from each other, too embarrassed to fill the growing silence. The chorus of crickets is quickly drowned out by my heartbeat echoing in my ears. My entire body feels both uncomfortably warm and freezing cold at the same time. The sudden honk of a car horn makes us both jump. 

“What are you two still doing? Let’s go!” I turn to see Hanni yell at us from the back seat of an SUV. It seems that Yujin got to the front seat first. Minji and I both trudge towards the car, too embarrassed to even look at each other. Hanni steps out of the car and reclines the seat forward to let us get into the back, where Winter is sitting alone with two empty seats on either side of her. 

As we settle in the back seat, I immediately shut my eyes, hoping that falling asleep would make things better. One final thing stays in my mind as I slip into unconsciousness.

She thinks I’m cute.

______________________________________________________________

A gentle shake rouses me from my slumber.

“Yuno, we’re here,” I hear Winter say as my eyes slowly open, finding my bearings. Outside the window, I see the convenience store where Winter works at.

“Winter said you guys live around here, so I hope you don’t mind,” Danielle explains from the front seat. Minji and Hanni step out of the car, allowing for Winter and I to exit.

“See you guys around,” Hanni says, waving goodbye. My eyes meet Minji’s momentarily before we swiftly break away. Not even a second of eye contact and I can already feel my body temperature rising.

“Thanks for the ride! Byeeeeee!” Yujin exclaims as the car disappears down the street. The three of us say our goodbyes to each other before we go our separate ways.

A flurry of emotions fills my stomach as I look back on the oddly eventful day. What started as an excuse to get out of the house turned into my first time at the fair, with Minji no less. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m in some surreal dream and that I’ll wake up one day to find out that none of this ever happened. As odd as all of this feels, I have to admit that I did enjoy it. The ferris wheel especially was… fun.

As I enter my house, I see my dad sitting on the couch, watching some sitcom on the TV. Right. I completely forgot he’s “different” now.

“Hey, Yuno,” he greets, a bright smile on his face. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve seen his smile. “Did you eat? There’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn’t turn out right.” A hearty chuckle leaves his lips, a sound that I vaguely remember hearing years ago. 

“I’m good. Thanks,” I say as I head towards the stairs. As my foot lands on the first step, a sudden impulse arises within me. “Uh, dad?”

“Hm?” His eyebrows perk up as he looks at me expectantly. I had no idea what I was planning on saying to him. Should I tell him about my day? Should I apologize? Should I tell him about my… “crush”? Is that what that is?

“Uh… Nevermind.” I hurry up the stairs, deciding against saying anything. My head was already filled to the brim with confusing emotions, I didn’t need to add more to the pile. I collapse onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of today playing in my mind like a broken record. I pull my phone out, fidgeting with the shiny piece of metal in my hand. Minji put her number in my phone. I can talk to her whenever I wanted to. And I do want to. My thumbs freeze right above the keyboard as I figure out what to say to her.

Maybe I should keep it simple with “Hey”. No, that’s too boring. How about “How are you feeling?” What am I, her doctor? Uhhh, maybe “I had fun today.” That’s stupid. Come on, think, Yuno, think. Fuck, I’m shit at this.

Is this what having a crush feels like? This sucks.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

“AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!” I scream into my pillow, hoping I don’t accidentally alert my parents to my “Teenage Angst”.

Minji!!! Why did you call him cute!? I mean, you’re not wrong, the way he got all embarrassed after missing the basketball hoop was kinda cut- WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING RIGHT NOW!? ARGHHHHHH!!!

I hold onto my bear toy for comfort as I wrestle with the conflicting emotions in my head. Maybe this is just a result of all the stress from prom preparation clouding my judgement and sending me into a whirlwind of confusion. A day that was supposed to be full of leisure and enjoyment was instead full of jealousy and confusion. It wasn’t entirely bad though; riding the ferris wheel with Yuno was… nice. I feel my heart flutter in my chest as I recall that memory. Surely, Hanni’s teasing couldn’t be right… could it? Am I… in love with Yuno Lin?

[harryssyndrome]

Backstage To My Heart

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 | 𝐀𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞

The late afternoon sun spilled through the wide, arched windows of Harry’s music room, bathing the space in a soft, amber glow. The air was warm, still, and the room was filled with the scent of aged wood and leather, a mix of guitar cases and old vinyl records scattered across the shelves. Every corner of the room whispered of creativity—the walls were adorned with old tour posters, framed records, awards and Grammy won over time and the guitars that had borne witness to countless late nights of songwriting. But today, the atmosphere felt heavier, thick with frustration.

Harry sat in the middle of the room on a worn leather armchair, his acoustic guitar resting on his lap. His fingers danced along the frets, searching for the right chord, the perfect sequence to complete the song that had been gnawing at the edges of his mind for days. He played a progression, but something was off. He strummed again, slower this time, but the melody stubbornly refused to take shape. Each note felt flat, uninspired, like chasing a shadow that kept slipping away.

With a sigh, he leaned back and let the guitar rest against his knee, staring down at the notebook spread open on the floor. Lines of half-written lyrics spilled across the page, jagged and incomplete, just like the tune swirling in his head. He closed his eyes, willing the right words and sounds to come together, but the only thing that surfaced was a thought of her—Ashley.

She drifted into his mind like a soft breeze, uninvited but undeniable. He could almost hear her laugh, that melodic sound that always seemed to soothe him ever since he has met her. His fingers absentmindedly plucked the strings, and for a moment, he could feel a connection, a fleeting sense that he was on the verge of something. But just as quickly, the feeling slipped away, leaving him more frustrated than before.

"Focus," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as if to dislodge the image of her from his thoughts. He was here to work on the music, not to be distracted by memories of her. But as he tried to refocus, his phone buzzed loudly on the table beside him, breaking the quiet tension of the room.

Harry grabbed it, glancing at the screen—Mitch. He sighed and answered.

“Mate, you alive in there?” Mitch’s voice rang out, a mix of humour and concern. “You’ve been off the grid for days. What are you doing, working yourself to death?”

Harry rubbed his eyes. “Just trying to crack this song. It’s not happening.”

“That’s your problem. You’re trying too hard. You need to loosen up.” There was a pause, then Mitch’s tone turned casual, persuasive. “Look, there’s this new pub down the street. Nothing fancy, but good drinks, good crowd. You should come out with me, take a breather.”

Harry hesitated, his gaze drifting back to the guitar. The idea of stepping away felt like giving up, but maybe Mitch was right. His shoulders were tight, and his mind was knotted with frustration. A break wouldn’t hurt, would it?

“C’mon, you’ve been in that cave too long,” Mitch added with a chuckle. “It’s just one drink. You’ll come back fresh.”

Harry let out a breath, feeling the weight of the past few hours pressing down on him. “Alright,” he finally said. “I’ll come.”

“There you go! I’ll swing by in ten. Be ready.”

As he hung up, Harry glanced back at his guitar, its strings still vibrating faintly from his last frustrated strum. The music would have to wait. Maybe stepping out, just for a while, was exactly what he needed.

He placed the guitar gently on the stand, grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door, and as he walked out of the room, the last of the sunlight began to fade, casting the room into a soft shadow, as if it, too, was ready for a pause.

As Harry and Mitch stepped into the pub, the cool evening air gave way to the warmth of low lighting and the hum of quiet conversation. The place was new but had the comforting charm of somewhere that felt lived in. The scent of wood polish and hops mingled in the air, and the soft strumming of acoustic guitar music played in the background, creating a laid-back, intimate atmosphere.

The pub was dimly lit with vintage Edison bulbs, casting a golden glow across the worn leather booths and dark wooden tables. Exposed brick walls lined the room, adorned with framed photos of local musicians and a few well-placed guitars mounted as decoration. A small stage sat in one corner, waiting for the night’s performer. The bar stretched along the far side of the room, made of dark mahogany, gleaming under the soft lights, with shelves stacked high with bottles of liquor that caught the light like stained glass.

As they made their way toward the bar, Harry took it all in, the rich warmth of the place immediately easing the tension in his shoulders. “Not bad,” he said with a nod of approval. “This place has a good vibe.”

Mitch grinned, nudging him with his elbow. “Told you. You need to get out more. You spend too much time locked up in that music room of yours.”

They reached the bar and slid onto the stools, the wood cool beneath them. Mitch motioned to the bartender, a young guy with tousled hair who looked like he knew his way around a cocktail shaker.

“What’ll it be, lads?” the bartender asked with a smile.

“Two glasses of your best whiskey,” Mitch replied without missing a beat, flashing Harry a grin. “No messing around tonight.”

Harry chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as the bartender poured their drinks. The clink of ice hitting the glass was satisfying, and the amber liquid swirled as the bartender slid the drinks toward them. Harry picked up his glass, feeling the weight of it in his hand. He took a sip, the warmth of the whiskey spreading through him, easing the lingering frustration from the day.

“Alright,” Mitch said, raising his glass for a quick toast. “To loosening up.”

Harry clinked his glass against Mitch’s and took another sip, leaning back slightly on his stool. For the first time in hours, he felt his mind start to settle, the constant churn of melodies and lyrics finally slowing down.

“So,” Mitch started, turning to Harry as he swirled his drink. “How’s the music going? Still wrestling with that new song?”

Harry let out a small sigh. “Yeah, still can’t crack it. Every time I think I’m close, it just... slips away.” He flicked his finger finishing the sentence.

Mitch nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of his whiskey. “That happens sometimes. You’re too close to it, mate. Stepping back helps.” He leaned forward slightly. “Got any new ideas floating around?”

Harry shrugged. “A few. It’s all half-formed though. I’m trying to pin something down before the tour starts again.”

“Ah, the tour,” Mitch said with a grin. “That beast is always looming. Got all your setlists figured out?”

“More or less,” Harry replied, relaxing into the conversation. “But there’s always something last minute.”

Mitch took another sip of his drink, glancing around the pub. “Your family going to come to any of the shows this time?”

“Yeah, they’re planning to. You know how my mum is—she likes to be at as many shows as she can.”

Mitch chuckled. “That woman’s a legend. Always front row, cheering the loudest.”

Harry smiled, the thought of his mum’s unwavering support warming him. The conversation felt easy, familiar, as it always did with Mitch. But then, after a pause, Mitch’s tone shifted, just a touch more playful.

“So... what about you?” Mitch asked, raising an eyebrow. “When are you planning on settling down?”

Harry nearly choked on his drink, laughing as he set the glass down. “Where the hell did that come from?”

Mitch leaned back, grinning. “C’mon, mate. You’ve been on the road for years, music’s going great, but what about... the other stuff? You can’t stay single forever.”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, trying to brush it off. “I don’t know,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Right now just doesn’t feel like the right time.”

Mitch cocked his head, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “And when is the right time?”

Harry swirled the whiskey in his glass, watching the amber liquid catch the light. He thought about it for a moment, then said, almost absently, “When I find the right person.”

There was a brief pause, and Mitch’s grin softened into something more serious. “Yeah, well, when you do, you better not let go of her.”

Before Harry could respond, the lights in the pub dimmed, drawing their attention toward the small stage in the corner. The hum of conversation quieted as a young woman stepped up with an acoustic guitar slung over her shoulder. She gave a shy smile to the crowd before starting to strum, her voice soft and clear, filling the room with a gentle melody.

Harry stared at the stage, the dim lighting casting a warm glow on the performer as she adjusted the microphone. For a moment, everything seemed to slow as the woman stepped fully into view, and his breath caught in his throat.

It was Ashley.

She wore a white dress fully covered with patch flowers that fell just above her knees, its full sleeves covered in delicate patches of white flowers. A black tie hung loosely around her neck, giving her a casual but effortlessly chic look. Her long hair flowed freely, tumbling past her waist, catching the soft light as she strummed her guitar, the stage becoming her canvas. She seemed both ethereal and grounded, her presence commanding yet calm on the stage she currently owned. Around her neck, a delicate locket caught the light, hinting at a personal story he longed to know.

As she began to sing, the gentle strumming of her guitar filled the pub, the audience hanging onto her every word. Harry's heart raced, an overwhelming sense of pride swelling within him as he watched her perform. She poured herself into each note, her voice weaving through the melodies with a depth that stirred something deep inside him.

The first few songs were well-known covers, classics that showcased her vocal range and emotional delivery. But then, as she transitioned into the next piece, Harry's breath hitched. It was his song—“Golden”—the very song he had poured his heart into, crafting it during one of those late-night writing sessions when the world felt both heavy and light.

He watched, entranced, as she sang the lyrics with a sincerity that took his breath away. Every word she spoke felt like a revelation, the way she brought his creation to life was like nothing he had imagined. The audience swayed with her, their eyes closed, feeling every emotion that washed over them in waves.

As the song neared its end, Harry felt a rush of adrenaline. Ashley’s eyes roamed the crowd, and for a split second, they locked onto his. He could see a flicker of surprise in her gaze, quickly replaced by a hint of nervousness. She hesitated for a moment, but Harry smiled widely and gestured with enthusiasm, giving her a thumbs-up. “You’re amazing!” he mouthed, and he could see the tension in her shoulders relax just a bit as she returned her focus to the song.

The final notes of “Golden” hung in the air, and the pub erupted into applause, cheers mingling with the clinking of glasses. Harry felt a rush of warmth flood through him, knowing she had truly captivated them. She beamed at the crowd, her confidence rising, and Harry couldn’t help but admire the way her spirit shone on stage.

After a brief pause, she took a deep breath, her smile widening as she announced, “Wow guys, thank you so much for sticking around with me this far! I never thought I would be doing this but it also never felt this right before so here’s a song I’ve written called ‘Carefree!’”

Harry's heart raced at the mention of her original work. He leaned in closer, eager to absorb every word she would share. The atmosphere in the pub shifted slightly; a sense of anticipation hung in the air, a collective breath held as Ashley began to play.

The first notes of “Carefree” flowed like a gentle stream, airy and light, but there was an undercurrent of yearning that pulled at the heartstrings. Her voice soared effortlessly, embodying the very essence of freedom and joy, yet with a hint of longing woven throughout the lyrics. Harry found himself lost in the moment, captivated by the way she expressed herself. Each note felt like a glimpse into her soul, and he was drawn deeper into her world with every line.

Around him, Mitch leaned closer, his eyes wide with awe. “I can’t believe this girl is playing small pub gigs,” he murmured, his tone a mix of disbelief and admiration. “With that kind of talent, someone should have signed her ages ago.”

Harry’s mind raced at Mitch’s words, a spark igniting within him. He turned his head slightly, watching Ashley as she sang, her face glowing under the soft lights. The realization hit him hard: she deserved more than this intimate setting. She needed the chance to share her music on a larger scale, to have her voice heard beyond these walls. The idea began to take shape—a plan to help her, to be the one who could give her the opportunity she so richly deserved.

As Ashley’s song came to a close, the audience erupted into applause once more, the sound echoing through the pub like a wave of appreciation. Harry felt his heart swell with pride, admiration, and something else—a fierce determination. He could help her.

He turned to Mitch, his mind buzzing with possibilities. “We need to do something,” he said, his voice firm. “I can’t just sit back and watch her play here when she has so much more to offer. I want to help her get noticed.”

Mitch’s expression shifted from surprise to understanding, and he nodded slowly. “I get it. You’re talking about getting her some real exposure, aren’t you?”

“Exactly,” Harry said, excitement bubbling in his chest. “I can talk to Jeff or use some connections. I can introduce her to the right people, get her a demo recorded. She needs to be seen. I can’t let her slip through the cracks.”

As he spoke, Harry’s resolve strengthened. He imagined Ashley on bigger stages, her voice filling arenas, her music reaching hearts all over the world. The thought made his pulse quicken; he could help turn that dream into a reality.

Harry said, his voice resolute. “She deserves more than this.”

Mitch grinned, raising his glass. “Now that’s something I’d like to see. Just don’t wait too long, mate. A voice like that… someone else is bound to notice soon.”

Harry nodded, his heart pounding with the possibilities. He wouldn’t wait. Not this time. He wouldn’t let her slip away, in more ways than one.

Just then, as the last notes of the performance faded into a warm, lingering echo, Ashley stepped off the stage, her cheeks flushed with exhilaration from the performance. Harry’s heart raced as she approached, and he felt a mix of excitement and nervousness bubble within him.

Harry stepped forward first, his voice genuine and warm. “You were amazing up there, Ash. Seriously, you sang ‘Golden’ better than me! I couldn’t take my eyes off you. That original song, ‘Carefree’? You’ve got a real gift.”

“Absolutely,” Mitch chimed in, leaning against the bar with a teasing grin. “If I were a record label, I’d be throwing money at you right now. But don’t worry, I’m not a label, so you’re safe from my awful negotiations.”

Ashley laughed softly, a light blush creeping across her cheeks. “Thank you, both of you. It means a lot to hear that, especially coming from you two. You’re both incredibly talented.” Her eyes sparkled with sincerity, and she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, clearly flattered yet shy under their praise.

“You were incredible. Seriously, you owned that stage.”

“Thanks!” she said, still beaming, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “It’s been a while since I’ve performed. I felt so nervous at the start but now it felt good.”

Mitch chimed in, nudging Harry slightly. “Yeah, you can thank me I guess! I brought this man here. Well in all seriousness, you’ve got a real gift, Ashley. I mean, I can’t believe you’re still playing in places like this. You should be out there making records!”

Ashley laughed softly, a hint of modesty in her demeanor. “I appreciate that, but I’m just starting out. I’ve got a long way to go.”

Harry smiled, noticing her modesty. “You deserve every bit of it, Ash. Honestly, I was thinking…” He hesitated for a moment, gauging her reaction. “What do you say to joining us at the studio? We’ll show you around and hang out for some time.”

Ashley’s eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and excitement washing over her. “The studio? You really think I could…?”

“Of course,” Mitch interjected, his enthusiasm infectious. “I mean, I don’t usually let just anyone into the sacred space where we create magic, but I think we can make an exception for a star like you.”

“Wow, I mean, are you sure? Is it okay?,” Ashley said, her voice barely above a whisper and Harry simply nodded. “Then I’d love that.”

Harry felt a rush of anticipation. This was the start of something beautiful, and the idea of collaborating with Ashley excited him. “Great! Let’s head over there now. I think you’ll love the place.”

The studio was nestled in a quiet corner of town, an unassuming building that hid the magic within. As they entered, the familiar scent of polished wood and fresh paint filled the air, mingling with the remnants of soundwaves that had been captured within its walls. The dim lighting set a cozy ambiance, with soft spotlights highlighting the various instruments scattered around the room.

Mitch headed straight for the coffee station, his usual humorous commentary filling the air. “Alright, who wants some terrible coffee? I make it just the way I like it—too strong and slightly burnt. Just how the pros do it!”

Harry chuckled as he moved to the center of the room, gesturing for Ashley to explore. “Feel free to check out the instruments. We’ve got a great selection here. I think you’ll be surprised at what you can do.”

Ashley wandered around, her eyes wide with wonder. She approached a vintage guitar hanging on the wall, its wood polished to a warm sheen. “This one looks beautiful,” she said, her fingers lightly brushing the strings.

Harry watched her, noticing how her demeanor shifted when she was surrounded by the instruments. The shyness melted away, replaced by a quiet confidence. “Do you play often?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Not as much as I’d like,” she replied, picking up the guitar. “I usually stick to my acoustic at home. It’s easier to write that way.”

“Let’s hear you play then,” Mitch said, appearing with three mugs of coffee, the steam rising like a delicate fog. “You’ve already wowed us once tonight. Let’s see if you can do it again.”

Ashley smiled, a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. She settled onto a nearby stool, the guitar cradled in her lap. “Okay, um… I’ve been working on something new,” Ashley said, her fingers gliding over the strings as she sought the right melody. The warm wood of the guitar felt familiar and comforting against her hands. She began to play a few soft notes, each one weaving into the next, forming a delicate tapestry of sound.

The studio was alive with a gentle hum of creativity as Ashley settled onto the plush couch, cradling her acoustic guitar in her lap. The soft glow of the overhead lights illuminated her features, highlighting the excitement in her eyes as she prepared to share her latest creation. She strummed a few chords, the sound resonating through the cozy space, and Harry and Mitch leaned in, intrigued, exchanging glances, both captivated by her focus. Mitch leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees, as Ashley began to sing:

“When the shadows fall and the night takes flight,

I’ll find my way through the darkness, I’ll be alright.

With the moon as my guide, I’ll dance on the edge,

In the quiet moments, I’ll make my pledge.”

The lyrics hung in the air, filled with a longing that resonated deeply with Harry. There was something magical about the way she poured her heart into her music, and he found himself mesmerized. When she finished, the room was quiet for a moment, the silence punctuated only by the soft strumming of her fingers on the strings.

Harry leaned back against the wall, absorbing the sound. It was clear that there was more to Ashley than met the eye; her talent extended beyond just singing. She poured her heart into the guitar, weaving intricate melodies that seemed to echo her emotions. The atmosphere in the studio transformed, the air thick with creativity and potential.

Mitch, ever the jokester, leaned over to Harry and whispered, “I think we might need to start looking for a new band name. ‘The Harley Show’ has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Harry snorted, his gaze still fixed on Ashley as she played. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mitch. But seriously, she’s incredible.”

As she finished, the last notes hung in the air like a beautiful memory. Ashley looked up, a bit shy, but there was a spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. “How was that?”

“Are you kidding?” Mitch exclaimed, setting down his coffee with an exaggerated flourish. “That was phenomenal! You should be on stage at Wembley, not just in this cozy little studio.”

“THAT was beautiful,” Mitch continued, breaking the spell. “You’ve got a real knack for this, Ashley. I mean, really, that was incredible.”

“Thank you!” Ashley replied, her cheeks flushing with warmth at the compliment. “It’s just a rough idea, but I thought I’d share it.”

“Rough idea?” Harry chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s not a rough idea; that’s a full-fledged song waiting to happen. You’ve got a real talent, Ash.” He leaned back, a grin spreading across his face. “You should definitely consider getting it recorded.”

Ashley smiled, a mixture of shyness and pride washing over her. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely,” Mitch chimed in, a playful glint in his eyes. “I’m just waiting for the day you’re headlining at Wembley. I’ll be in the front row, waving a big sign that says ‘I Knew Her When!’”

Ashley laughed, a light, melodious sound that seemed to echo in the room. “Thanks, guys. You’re making me blush.”

Mitch clapped his hands together, breaking the tension. “Alright, enough of the sappy stuff. Let’s get down to business. How about we record a little something tomorrow as a demo? Just to test the waters?”

Harry grinned, the atmosphere shifting back to playful banter. “Not a bad idea. What do you think, Ash? Ready to record your first hit?”

She chuckled, the nerves dissipating as excitement took their place. “What really!? I-I don’t know what to say… you’re not kidding right?”

“Nope, we’re being serious.” Harry asserted with a grin.

“I hope I don’t mess it up.”

“None at all,” Mitch replied, his tone light. “Just remember, if we flop, we can always blame it on Harry’s awful coffee.”

Harry rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile. “Fine, but if we do flop, I’ll make sure the coffee is even worse next time.”

They spent the next few minutes exchanging ideas, laughing and bouncing thoughts off each other like a creative ping-pong match. The atmosphere was light, filled with a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. Harry could feel the connection between them growing stronger, the excitement of collaboration igniting a spark he hadn’t felt in a while.

After a bit, Mitch checked his watch and sighed. “As much as I’d love to stick around and witness the birth of the next big hit, I really should get going. The family is probably wondering if I’ve been abducted by aliens or something.” He pushed himself off the wall and stretched his arms above his head, shaking off the lingering fatigue. “You two have fun with your songwriting, alright? I expect to hear some amazing things soon.”

“Thanks for stopping by, Mitch,” Harry said, clapping him on the shoulder. “We’ll be in touch.”

“Take care, guys!” Mitch waved as he made his way to the door, leaving Harry and Ashley in the cozy studio.

As the door clicked shut, a comfortable silence settled between them. Ashley fidgeted slightly, her gaze drifting toward the floor. “So… now what?” she asked, her voice soft yet curious.

Harry leaned back on the couch, looking at her with an inviting smile. “I guess we can talk some more about the music or maybe try to come up with some ideas? What do you think?”

Ashley hesitated, then looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Actually, I have an idea. Do you have any plans for the evening?”

“Nope, nothing on the agenda,” he replied, feeling a mix of curiosity and excitement.

“Perfect,” she said, her grin widening. “How about I take you to a secret place?”

“A secret place?” Harry raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Now you have my attention. What do you mean?”

“It’s a spot I found a while ago, tucked away from the city noise. It’s quiet and perfect for just hanging out. Plus, I think you’ll really like it,” Ashley explained, her excitement palpable.

“Lead the way, then,” Harry replied, standing up and stretching his legs. “I’m in.”

They made their way out of the studio, the cool evening air refreshing against their skin as they stepped into the street. The city around them was alive with lights and sounds, but Ashley seemed to know exactly where she was going, her confidence radiating as she walked ahead.

Harry couldn’t help but steal glances at her, captivated by the way she moved, her long hair cascading down her back and catching the soft glow of the streetlights. They walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the sound of their footsteps echoing off the pavement.

Finally, Ashley turned down a narrow alleyway, her smile mischievous as she glanced back at him. “Trust me, it’s just around the corner.”

“I hope it’s not one of those situation where you inject me with something and kidnap me” He quips, earning a playful punch from Ashley.

They stepped through the alley, emerging into a small grassland bathed in the soft light of twinkling fairy lights strung between the trees. It was a hidden oasis, with a wooden gazebo at its center and colorful flowers blooming all around. The atmosphere was serene, a stark contrast to the bustling streets they had just left behind.

“Ta-da! Welcome to my secret place,” Ashley said, her voice filled with pride as she gestured around.

The night air crisp and filled with the soft sounds of nature, the only sounds being the soft rustle of leaves and the distant hum of city life that seemed so far away now. Ashley, with a small smile playing on her lips, stopped in the middle of the clearing and knelt down, unzipping her bag.

“I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to use this,” she said with a grin, pulling out a soft, plaid picnic blanket. She spread it over the green grass, smoothing out the edges with her hands.

Harry chuckled softly, watching her with a mix of amusement and admiration. “A picnic blanket, huh? You really come prepared.”

“I always come prepared,” she replied, shooting him a playful look before gesturing for him to join her. “This place isn’t just for music, you know. It’s for escaping, for breathing.”

Harry sat down beside her, resting his hands on his knees as he glanced around, taking in the serene atmosphere. The fairy lights above cast a gentle glow, the trees around them swaying lightly in the breeze, while the stars twinkled brightly in the clear night sky. It was peaceful—far removed from the chaos of their everyday lives.

Ashley placed her guitar and bag by their side, then, with a soft sigh, she lay down on her back, letting out a tired breath. “I come here to forget about everything,” she admitted, her voice quiet, almost reverent. “When things get too overwhelming, I just need to lie down, stare at the sky, and let it all go.”

Harry watched her for a moment, seeing the exhaustion etched into her features. The day had been long, filled with emotions and new experiences, and he could understand her need for calm. Slowly, he mirrored her movements, lying back on the blanket beside her, their shoulders just inches apart. He stared up at the night sky, the stars twinkling like tiny diamonds against the dark canvas above.

It was quiet for a while, the kind of comfortable silence where words weren't necessary. The tension of the day seemed to melt away, replaced by a sense of stillness that neither of them had experienced in a long time. For Harry, the weight of the world always felt like it was pressing down on him—whether it was the expectations of his fans, the constant scrutiny from the media, or the relentless schedule that came with being a global icon. But here, in this secret spot, all of that felt distant, almost irrelevant.

After a few minutes, Harry broke the silence, his voice soft but curious. “Why did you choose me to bring here? To share this secret with?”

Ashley turned her head slightly to look at him, her eyes reflecting the soft glow of the lights above. She took a deep breath before answering, her voice gentle but sincere. “Because you deserve it. You deserve a place where you can forget about all the noise, all the stress… even if it’s just for a little while.”

Harry felt a lump rise in his throat at her words. He wasn’t used to people seeing him in this way—beyond the fame, beyond the persona. But here was Ashley, someone who understood, who saw through the facade and recognized the pressure he carried every day.

She continued, her gaze still fixed on his. “I know it can be difficult… always being surrounded by cameras, being tracked by people wherever you go. It must feel like there’s no place left to just be you. That’s why I wanted to share this with you. I trust you with this place, Harry. And I think you need it more than I do.”

Her words hit him harder than he expected, and for a moment, he felt a wave of emotion rise within him. She understood him—really understood him—and that realization brought with it a sense of vulnerability. He had spent so much of his life guarded, carefully navigating the world as Harry Styles, the king of pop, the world renowned singer. But here, with her, he could just be Harry.

He swallowed hard, trying to gather his thoughts. “You… you really get it, don’t you?” His voice was quiet, but filled with gratitude.

“I think I do,” she replied, her tone soft but unwavering. “I know I haven’t been in your shoes, but I can imagine how overwhelming it must be. Everyone deserves a place to be free, to breathe.”

Harry turned his gaze back up to the stars, blinking away the sudden rush of emotion. He hadn’t expected to feel so understood, so seen, in a moment like this. After a beat, he took a deep breath and spoke, his voice low but steady. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I want to tell you something.”

Ashley shifted slightly, her attention fully on him now. “What is it?”

Harry turned his head to face her, his expression serious but filled with warmth. “I want you to be a part of my next album. I’m going to talk to Jeff about it. I think your voice, your songwriting… it’s exactly what the album needs. You deserve to be heard, and I want to help make that happen.”

For a moment, Ashley didn’t say anything, her eyes wide with surprise as she processed his words. Then, suddenly, she lifted herself up from the blanket, her hands moving quickly to wrap around Harry. She pressed herself against him, her body half on top of his as she hugged him tightly, her voice trembling with emotion.

“Thank you,” her voice quivered, her face buried in his shoulder. “Thank you so much, Harry. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Harry, momentarily taken aback by the sudden gesture, hesitated before wrapping his arms around her in return, holding her close. Her gratitude, the raw emotion in her voice, struck him deeply. He had known it would mean a lot to her, but this reaction was more than he had anticipated.

“You deserve it, Ash,” he murmured softly into her hair. “You’re incredibly talented. The world needs to hear what you have to say.”

She pulled back slightly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, but her smile was radiant. “I don’t even know what to say… I’ve never dreamt about it this way, it’s more than I deserve Harry. I don’t know how—”

“I know you deserve it. You’re capable of doing so much more, this is just the beginning!”

Harry smiled, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You just have to trust yourself. Just keep being yourself, keep creating. The rest will fall into place. But for now you’re stuck with me.” Harry tries to lighten the mood.

“Gladly.”

Ashley lay back down beside him, her head resting lightly on his shoulder, and they both returned to staring up at the stars. The moment felt surreal, but also perfect—two people, connected by their shared love of music and a mutual understanding of the pressures they faced.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Harry felt a sense of peace wash over him. And as they lay there together, enveloped by the quiet of the night and the soft glow of the stars above, he knew that this—this simple, quiet moment—was exactly what he needed.

A/N: and that’s chapter 2 for you! I’ll be posting back to back till 13th of October so make sure to like or reblog my story masterlist for the marathon updates. The little lyrical portion is also written by me🥰 so all of this is my original work. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK!!! I WILL FIND YOU. DMs are always open here and on IG by the same username. Thx for your support so far!

Special thanks to @daisyblog for helping me on this journey. I adore you!🫶🏻

Taglist: @prettygurl-2009 @sassamanda77 (THE TAG-LIST IS OPEN)

Posted on: October 1st, 2024

[2x14storyuntold]

After You, Before Me - Prologue

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Romance, Drama, Coming-of-Age, Bittersweet

The lights are blinding, the air heavy with anticipation. You're sitting at a table in the front row, the sound of murmurs and clinking glasses filling the grand hall.

All around you, the glittering faces of the industry’s biggest stars are watching, waiting. The room is packed, people in tuxedos and gowns, some laughing, others looking around, eyes scanning for the next big name.

And then, the spotlight shifts. It's time. The moment everyone has been waiting for.

The host steps up to the podium, microphone in hand. The music quiets down. You can feel the tension in the air; the nerves, the hope, the quiet prayers. The crowd is waiting for this announcement, and you’re holding your breath too.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the host says, his voice smooth and confident, “the award for Best Actress of the Year goes to…”

Your heart skips a beat. You’re almost too scared to hear your name, but then—your name.

“Y/N!”

The applause erupts.

You stand up slowly, almost in disbelief. The cheers feel like they’re coming from far away, the noise almost muffled as you step toward the stage.

Your feet are moving on their own as you walk, your body on autopilot. The moment feels surreal, and as you approach the podium, you blink to refocus. The lights are blinding, and your heart is racing so fast you almost can’t catch your breath.

You take the award, the golden statue feeling heavier in your hand than you thought it would. The microphone feels foreign, like something you’ve never held before, but you smile.

You have to smile. Your face, your public face, is all that matters right now.

“Thank you so much,” you say into the mic, your voice steady, but your mind is still reeling. "This… this is for everyone who believed in me, who helped me get here. For my team, my manager, and most importantly, my fans. You all make this possible, and I can’t even put into words how much this means to me."

Your speech comes out easily, words you’ve practiced in front of mirrors and during sleepless nights. But as you finish, a sudden wave of dizziness hits you.

It’s subtle at first, a flicker in your vision, a quiet thud in your chest. But it grows quickly, like a storm on the horizon. Your stomach churns, but you ignore it.

You have to finish. You have to be perfect.

You take a deep breath, hold the trophy tighter, and give a final smile. “Thank you, thank you all. I’m so grateful.”

The applause drowns out the buzzing in your ears as you step back, your legs slightly unsteady. The lights are too bright, the sound too loud, and your body feels like it’s floating in slow motion.

You head backstage, keeping your back straight, acting like everything is fine.

Backstage is a whirlwind of people—a blur of assistants, producers, and journalists. Everyone’s congratulating you, talking over one another, all with smiles on their faces. You give them the same smile, your expression perfect, a mask that hides what’s really going on inside.

Your manager walks up to you, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Amazing! This is everything we’ve worked for. The press is waiting for you. They want interviews, Y/N. You’re going to shine even more tonight!”

You nod, trying to keep your composure. You can’t show them you’re faltering, that something’s off. You can’t let them see. “I just need to use the bathroom first,” you say, your voice a little shaky but still strong enough for them to buy it.

Your manager hesitates, his eyes narrowing. “Alright, but hurry back. They’ll be waiting.”

You give him a reassuring smile and walk off toward the bathroom. The further you go, the more the dizziness increases, and by the time you reach the bathroom, you can barely hold yourself upright.

Once inside, you lock the door and lean against the sink. Your body feels like it’s betraying you. Your breath is shallow, your head spins, and before you can stop it, you bend over the sink and vomit. But it’s not just nausea—it's blood.

Your heart drops.

Panic surges through you. You try to steady yourself, turning on the faucet to drown out the sound, hoping no one outside can hear. The cold water splashes on your face, but the dizziness doesn’t go away. It only gets worse. You grip the edge of the sink, trying to hold yourself together. You know you should be calling for help, but you can’t. You can’t be weak, not here, not now.

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Jungkook was bustling around the bar, clearing empty glasses and dirty plates. He wasn’t paying much attention to the chatter around him—just the routine of his shift, helping Seokjin behind the counter. The usual hum of the bar and the clinking of glasses was a comfort, something steady in his life that helped him forget about everything else.

But then, a group of people at a nearby table caught his attention. He heard their voices rising above the others, and one of them laughed in disbelief.

"Wait, isn’t that Y/N? She just won Best Actress, right?"

The others chimed in, “Yeah, she’s from Gongan, right? she is from our town! Wow, she just won Best Actress!”

Jungkook’s steps faltered, and his heart skipped. He turned toward the TV in the corner of the bar, almost on instinct, and saw you gracing the stage in all your glamor.

A rush of emotion hit him, and his breath caught in his throat. He stood frozen, watching you smile brightly as you accepted the award for Best Actress.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away, the image of you so different now—so far from the girl he had once known.

“Jungkook?” Seokjin’s voice was calm, but there was a hint of worry. “You okay, man?”

Jungkook didn’t answer right away. His gaze was still locked on the TV, watching you.

Seokjin stepped closer, his eyes narrowing in on Jungkook. “Jungkook, what’s going on?”

Jungkook finally tore his gaze away from the screen, his jaw tightening. He grabbed a cold beer from the counter, opening it with a quick motion. His hands were shaking slightly as he raised it to his lips, drinking deeply, trying to numb the tightness in his chest.

“I am fine. I need a break,” Jungkook muttered, his voice low and flat, but Seokjin wasn’t buying it. He knew something was wrong.

Seokjin took a step closer, but before he could say anything more, Jungkook pushed past him, walking toward the door.

Jungkook stormed out of the bar, leaving Seokjin standing there with a furrowed brow. He glanced at the door for a moment, his mind swirling with unanswered questions. He hadn’t seen Jungkook like that in a while. Something had shifted, but what?

Shaking his head, Seokjin turned back toward the TV, the screen flashed once more with the image of you smiling brightly.

Seokjin let out a small sigh and shook his head slowly. As he watched you on the screen, Seokjin muttered to himself, more to the air than anyone else. "It’s high time he should move on."

[manias-wordcount]

If it isn't too much to ask for. It would be cool if you could write another genshin x submissive male reader pegging story like the one you did with the raiden shogun. If so another one with raiden or one with yae mikk would be cool. Only if your cool with that. Thanks for taking the time to read this (if you did).

The Miko's Apprentice (Yae Miko x Male! Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗶 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗮𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗮 𝗲𝗶 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀. 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻, 𝗽𝗲𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗟𝗢𝗟

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 !! 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁, 𝗽𝗲𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗲𝘅 !!!

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? �� 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

You’ve never been able to get over the way she looks at you.

Her gaze is filled to the brim with ego as she looks down at you. Her eyes are narrowed into knowing slits of mischief and all things cunning. Her smile just barely exposed the sharpness of her teeth. And her eyebrows stood raised, almost as if questioning you and your actions and all that you stood for. Altogether, it’s a look that makes even you want to shrink away. Turn your gaze, get out of her direct and immediate attention. But you’re never awarded such an opportunity. Especially when she finally corners you all alone in your room. But you suppose she isn’t completely to blame for your current predicament. It was you who said yes to the initial offer she posed to you some time ago.

And it was you who took off all your clothes and laid down on your back the second she locked your bed door and asked you to strip too. Still…

“Hmmm…it seems my toy for tonight is getting distracted.” Yae’s voice hums out, almost pleasantly. It takes half a second longer than it normally would for you to refocus your gaze and look at her. But still, you give in to her silent command and peer up at her as you lick at your lips and await her next words. And luckily for you, she doesn’t keep you in limbo for very long. But unluckily as well- your partner for the night is Yae Miko. And bedding with Yae Miko has its own challenges to deal with. “Ahhh…there he is! You were looking quite distracted for a moment there!”

You let out a meager mumble of an apology as your voice refused to give you any volume. She looks pleased as you give in so easily. Submission wasn’t really a trait associated with your character before you met her. But here you are, thinking about how you suppose you were getting distracted in presence this time around. Though to be fair, you tend to be distracted, when you’re with her. There’s just so much to think about even after all this time. Why does she enjoy this? Why did she choose you? Are you the first? Are you the last?

Truthfully, it’s all you can think about in moments like these. Moments when you’re lying on your back with your hands tucked under you- just the way she likes it. Moments when your legs are up in the air and spread open for her to slot herself between- just the way she likes it. Moments when she so graciously allows you a minute or two to breathe deeply and slowly through the initial stretch of her strap-on pressing past your tight hole and bottoming out inside you- just the way she likes it. After all, she did say she loved watching the first few moments of you becoming undone for her. The first few moments where drool starts to pool at your lips and your chest starts to heave. The first few moments where your hips instinctively try to fight her grip and your lonely, forgotten cock sitting prettily on your abdomen start to leak an embarrassingly steady stream of precum onto your stomach. The first few precious moments of your body getting stretched and reacquainted with her.

The first few moments of you being stuffed full with her strap.

But all at once, those questions leave your mind with just one action: a single one of her hands reaching up and cupping your cheeks with long, delicate fingers. You know what this means. Another silent warning. Another silent command. Stop thinking too much, the act of her long, perfectly manicured fingers tells you as she squeezes your cheeks together and tilts your head side to side, you’re running my fun. So you stop. At least temporarily.

After all, part of the agreement was to do all that she wanted from you. And you know from experience that this is far from the hardest thing she’ll ever ask of you.

“Hmmm, and to think you were just babbling earlier about how this one is too big for you.” 

Her tone teeters between teasing and condensing as she talks to you, playing with your emotions in a way you didn’t always love when you were feeling particularly vulnerable. Because of this, you can’t help but feel your face get warm as you advert your eyes away from her, despite knowing her words to be true. You were nervous just earlier. You were whining, just earlier. Sitting up on your elbows and shaking your head about how you needed more lube or at least an extra one of her fingers to stretch you out because that thing won’t fit. 

Except it did. It did fit. It took her nails digging half-moons in your thighs as she slid a bright pink, thick, and several inches long strap-on into your puckered hole and your voice producing moan after moan at a volume you still don’t fully believe you’re capable of reaching unassisted. But she did it. She pushed it all in and you took it from her. Like the good boy, you always are. And because she’s so kind and sweet to you, she so mercifully allowed you a few extra moments than usual to get used to such an invasive thing sitting inside you. But now…

“Perhaps you’ve gotten too used to it faster than expected. Perhaps you’re even ready for me to begin.”

At her mocking words, she gives an experimental snap of her hips while taking a hand to press on your lower abdomen- just about where she assumed the strap-on would reach inside you. Whether or not that was true, you would never know. Because instantly, you were letting out a pathetic groan and having your eyes roll to the back of your head as you felt the pressure on both your stomach and your prostate as the strap pressed against it. At the same time, you hear her laugh at you and tell you not to tighten so much around her or else she’ll leave you like this. 

But by the time you refocus and come to after those sudden seconds of nearly overwhelming pleasure, you find yourself losing a bit of your standing once more. And it has everything to do with the way she looks at you. The way she drinks you in like you’re nothing more than her plaything. Her prey.  And in many ways, you are. You just are. Still, you find that the more she looked at you like this, the more felt this certain heaviness in your chest. One you don’t anticipate ever finding the answer to. 

But for now, you’ll just lay back with half-lidded eyes and deep, heavy breaths and you’ll take every single inch she slides in and out of your hole with very little fight. And you’ll beg every once and a while for her to touch your cock and give you the sweet release you’re desperately crying. Just like how you’ll beg her to slow down or speed up or hit that spot right there as if your life depended on it.

And maybe sometime in between all those moments, you’ll wonder a little more about why she looks at you so fondly when you’re far too busy tearing up and moaning and making a sticky mess of your body to give her a look that is even half as appreciative as the ones she’ll give you. Maybe. Just maybe. But truly, it’s not your job to think. It’s not your job to get distracted. 

It’s your job to just lay there and take it for as long as she needs you to.

And to let her watch it all happen, of course.

[sitting-on-me-bum]

“Dancing Mobulas”

by Mia Stawinski

2023 reFocus Awards

[williammarksommer]

I'm really happy to announce that my photo "Pink Donut" won Third Place overall in the reFocus Awards. The photo also won Gold in the Still Life category and Silver in the Minimalism in the award. Thank you @refocus.awards and the jury for the honors. Pink Donut Home can be found in many places from the house you live in to the local donut shop. I remember as a child being amazed by all the donuts in the case, all the color and sizes, and how my father loved the pink ones. Through this nostalgic memory, I was brought home.

[sheltiechicago]

“Pearls”

by Olivia Mazzola. 

reFocus Awards 2023 Black & White Photo Contest

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part 35: Lucy's Betrayal

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

For the past three weeks, Cillian tried hard to give you the space you said you needed, but being away from you now was difficult to say the least.

Danielle had been charged with aggravated assault and, due to her medical history, she was now being confined in a mental institution now where she would receive the help she so desperately needed. 

It had been a long and emotional struggle for her to come to terms with the breakdown of her marriage, which was exactly what, during the trial, she blamed her rage on. And, while she was deeply pained by the prospect of Cillian being with someone else these days, there had been an unspoken tension between them for years, causing the judge to acknowledge that there may be much more to her outbursts.

Now, at least, she was being assessed and treated and even though the hearings took place in a closed courtroom, some of the information from the trial ended up being leaked to the press. 

It was a big mess from which you were being shielded by Cillian's team. In articles and magazines covering the incident, you were referred to as the anonymous woman who no one knew about, and this was all thanks to the diligent management of the matter by Cillian's publicist.  But for Cillian, going through all this in the midst of preparing for award season was an added challenge.

He missed you terribly and, of course, there was also his strained relationship with his son Max that needed mending, causing him to feel more exhausted than ever.

***

Max refused to talk to Cillian now, still deeply hurt by his father's betrayal and the riff it caused in the family.

With Cillian being away filming, Max had always been closer to his mother, and her recent breakdown had only intensified his desire to protect her. Cillian understood all of Max's accusations and justifications for his behavior, but it still stung to face the harsh reality. He felt immense shame for disappointing Max in this way.

Max was hurt and confused and, in his teenage mind, Cillian's actions seemed like an act of betrayal - not just to him but to the whole family. To Max, it felt as though his father had chosen a stranger over them, and this realization pained him deeply.

Having been in love with you too, Max also couldn't grasp the idea that you had taken a liking in his very own father, a man who was twice your age.  In his naive mind, you were the love of his life, and he could not fathom how quickly you had moved on, especially to someone who he never thought would ever become his competition. His very own father.

But, while Cillian was aware of Max's resentment towards him and the reasons behind it, he could not help but feel weak in your presence. You were the escape he had been longing for, the forbidden fruit that he so desperately wanted. 

He had fallen in love with you almost instantly, and the attraction between you had been intense from the very beginning.

From the way you looked at him to the little gestures you made, Cillian had felt seen and understood in a way that he hadn't in years.

The chemistry between you was palpable, and it had been difficult to deny your desire for each other - even though it was far from appropriate.

Now, he was missing you and you had shut him out from your life again. He had tried to keep his distance from you, giving you the space that you had asked for, but it had taken a heavy toll on Cillian. He was constantly worried about you, checking up on you remotely and staying updated on what was happening through friends.

For the first ten days after you had left, he had texted and called you several times, without being too pushy, and when you didn't respond, he called your best friend Lucy for an update.  She had revealed that you were taking some time for yourself, to regroup and refocus, and he respected that.

But his interactions with Lucy were short-lived when she did something you would never have expected her to do, namely betraying your trust.  

***Backflash***

It was a Thursday evening, exactly ten days after you had left. Cillian was enjoying a glass of wine while sitting on the couch, browsing through a magazine, when his phone beeped. It was a text from Lucy, asking him if she could come over to have a chat about you and the fact that you were struggling with your treatment. 

"Sure," Cillian texted back quickly, worrying about what she had to say, seeing that you had already shut him out completely, not responding to his calls or texts.  He knew that Lucy was your best friend, and he hoped she could shed some light on how you were doing.

Thirty minutes later, Lucy showed up at Cillian's apartment and smiled politely as Cillian opened the door for her, but there was a coldness in her eyes that he couldn't quite place.

"Come in, Lu,"  he said, holding the door open for her before leading her into the living room.

"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, Cillian, but I really wanted to have a word with you," she said nervously, sitting down on the couch and folding her hands in her lap.

"It's no problem at all. I was just having a glass of wine. Would you like some?" he asked, pouring himself another glass before offering to pour one for Lucy as well.

She hesitated momentarily, glancing at the bottle of red wine he held, before nodding her agreement.

"Sure, why not," she replied, trying to mask her unease behind a fake smile. "I could definitely use a drink after the day I have had."

Cillian handed her a glass before sitting down next to her on the couch. She took a tentative sip, savoring the rich flavor of the wine as it coated her tongue. As they sat together in silence, Lucy couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt and betrayal wash over her.

"What's going on?" Cillian then asked, no longer being able to hold it in. "I have tried to make contact with Y/N, but she hasn't picked up my calls or responded to my texts and I am really fucking worried. I gathered that she might need some more time, but I don't know," Cillian finally admitted, his voice wavering.

"Look, I'll be honest with you, Cillian. I shouldn't even be here, because I promised her that I would keep this to myself, but she has been going through a lot lately. The last time we spoke, she was seeing a therapist and learning to cope with the aftermath of her assault," Lucy revealed slowly. "She thinks that you should move on with someone else because of what she is dealing with right now. She lost all of her self-confidence and since you been nominated for all these awards, her self-esteem  is at an all-time low," Lucy confessed painfully while averting her gaze, feeling bad for having to share this sensitive information with someone who she knew was still in love with you. "She just thinks that you could do so much better than her and she is worried that, after you had only been seeing each other for such a short time, you wouldn't find her attractive anymore,"  Lucy finally spoke in your voice, making Cillian's heart ache.

He knew that you weren't feeling good about yourself after the incident, but it had never occurred to him that you might feel this way. Throughout it all, he remained steadfast in his love for you, refusing to let go of the hope that you would find your way back to him.

"Is she seeing a therapist?" Cillian asked, trying to remain calm and composed despite the turmoil he was experiencing in his heart.

"Yes," she said. "I mean no. She keeps cancelling her appointments,"  Lucy replied, biting her lip nervously. "I promised I wouldn't tell you, but she really needs help, Cillian. I-I can't bear to see her like this anymore," she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes as the guilt began to overwhelm her.

"Fuck, I should have made her stay here with me," Cillian murmured, dragging a hand through his short hair. 

"She wouldn't have stayed, you know that. She is stubborn as fuck," Lucy explained, trying to control her emotions. "She feels like she's broken beyond repair and she doesn't want to burden you or anyone else with her problems."

Cillian sighed deeply, understanding where you were coming from. Still, the thought of you struggling alone made his heart ache.

"If she won't let me help her Lucy, I don't know what to do. I have been trying to get in contact with her for the past ten days and I don't have her parents' details. Fuck, I should have asked for them before she left," Cillian muttered, frustration evident on his face.

"I have her parents' number . I can message it to you if you want, but you have to promise me that you won't tell her I told you about her therapy or what we just talked about," Lucy said, pulling out her phone and quickly typing out the contact details before passing it over to Cillian.

Cillian nodded solemnly, taking the phone and typing the numbers into his own contacts.

"Thank you, Lu. I appreciate your help in this," he said sincerely, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It's nothing. I just want her to be okay ," Lucy replied, swallowing the lump in her throat.

Cillian could see the pain and concern etched on her face and he knew that she loved you just as much as he did. He couldn't help but feel grateful for her friendship and support, despite the betrayal of sharing this sensitive information with him.

He knew that you were strong and resilient, but he couldn't shake the worry that gnawed at him from the inside.

He wanted to be there for you, to hold your hand and whisper words of encouragement into your ear, to remind you of the incredible woman you were but, the first few times he called your house, your father told him to get lost. 

It wasn't until your mother picked up the phone a week later that you found out about Cillian having called, checking in on you and, much to Cillian's surprise, just 24 hours after his latest phone call to your house, your mother asked him to come and see you as she too was worried about you.  "She's not getting any better," your mother said, her voice trembling with exhaustion and concern. "Please come and see her, Cillian. I think that you may be able to help her, or at least encourage her to continue with her therapy," your mother implored, trying to remain composed as she spoke on the phone.

Cillian nodded his agreement, eager to do anything he could to help you. "Of course, I'll drive up in the morning. What's your address?" he replied dutifully, taking down the address that your mother provided.

"She doesn't know that I am calling you and she won't know that you are coming to see her because I think that, if she knew, she would try to push you away. She would come up with something to get out of seeing you," your mother continued, her voice laden with sadness and worry.

Cillian's heart ached at the thought of you hurting so deeply and feeling so alone. He knew that he needed to see you, to hold you and remind you of the love that surrounded you.

"I appreciate the heads up. I will see you tomorrow," Cillian replied, determined to be there for you in any way he could.

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[s4mcore]

MAKE A WISH — O11 | shared silences

The calculus classroom buzzed with the low hum of murmured conversations, the usual shuffle of books and calculators creating a familiar pre-class rhythm. Jake dropped into the seat next to Y/N, his pen already spinning between his fingers as he glanced over with a grin.

“Morning, scholar,” he greeted her, his voice warm and playful. “Ready to school me in derivatives again?”

Y/N returned his smile, though it felt a bit stiff around the edges. “I don’t know… I think you’re starting to catch up, Jake,” she replied, her voice trying for her usual tone. “Maybe you’ll be the one schooling me soon.”

Jake snorted, rolling his eyes as he straightened in his chair. “Now that,” he whispered dramatically, “is what I’d call wishful thinking. At this rate, I’m one bad test away from the ‘Least Likely to Derive Anything’ award.”

A genuine laugh slipped through her lips despite the lingering haze of yesterday’s memories. Jake had that effect—a way of coaxing smiles and laughter out of her, even when she felt preoccupied.

Ms. Park strode to the front and began filling the board with what seemed like the longest calculus problem known to humankind.

Jake leaned in close. “So… what are the odds this equation actually summons some kind of math demon? Because it’s looking intense.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but the smile stayed on her face. “It’s not that bad. It’s just… like a puzzle. Don’t you like puzzles?”

“Puzzles that have like, ten pieces? Sure. This?” He waved a hand at the board, his voice a conspiratorial whisper. “This is some calculus dark magic.”

As Ms. Park continued with her lecture, Jake’s gaze drifted to Y/N’s notebook. He squinted as she neatly worked through the problem, her pencil gliding effortlessly across the paper. “You make it look so easy,” he murmured, eyes fixed on her work. “Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to remember which symbol means what.”

Y/N felt a small smile tug at her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Maybe if you showed up on time and actually paid attention, you’d catch on quicker,” she replied, trying to keep her tone light.

“Ouch.” Jake clutched his chest as if wounded. “Straight to the heart, Y/N. And here I was thinking I’d finally unlocked the secret of calculus.”

“What, winging it?”

“Exactly,” he said with a grin, crossing his arms. “See, that’s why I’m basically a math prodigy in disguise. Just give me a few more weeks to reveal my true potential.”

Y/N let out a small laugh, sharing a quick, amused glance with him, and for that moment, she almost felt normal again. But even as she laughed along, a dull ache in her chest reminded her that something was different today. She felt herself slipping back, the memory of yesterday tugging at her mind, each smile and joke with Jake laced with a pang of guilt. He had texted her, concerned, and she had lied to him without a second thought, hoping to keep everything simple.

As Ms. Park continued filling the board with notes, Y/N’s thoughts wandered. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d let him down somehow, even though he didn’t know it. She tried to refocus, gripping her pencil and forcing herself to copy the equation on the board, but her mind kept straying back.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Jake watching her, his expression faintly concerned. “You good?” he asked, nudging her gently, his voice quieter now.

She blinked, turning back to him, and nodded quickly. “Yeah,” she said, forcing a smile. “Just… tired. Long night.”

He gave her a sympathetic look, and she felt the weight of her words. Here he was, always so open, so easygoing, and here she was, caught up in her own tangled thoughts, her own hesitation. She glanced back at her notebook, her handwriting faltering slightly, a mix of emotions bubbling beneath the surface.

She wanted to talk to him, to tell him everything, but she kept herself quiet, afraid to disrupt the lightness he brought, afraid of what he’d think if he knew.

“Well, if you need to borrow my impressive calculus genius at any point, just say the word,” he offered with a playful wink, not pushing any further. “I mean, I know it’s intimidating, but don’t be shy.”

She snorted, shaking her head as she returned her focus to chalkboard, but his words eased something in her, letting her settle into the moment a little more. Jake threw in more comments throughout class, each one an attempt to keep her engaged.

“If this lesson gets any more abstract, I might just… dis-integrate,” he whispered, waggling his eyebrows. “Get it? Because it’s like… I’m falling apart.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, her smile finally reaching her eyes. “Jake, with puns like that, I think you’re better suited to English class.”

“Don’t tempt me. I’d be halfway out the door if I didn’t have to crack the math code to stay on the team.”

He tossed her a grin, and for a second, it felt like everything was as simple as it used to be. But as Ms. Park delved into more equations and her friends whispered and laughed nearby, Y/N’s mind drifted back, almost unconsciously, to yesterday. 

After what felt like an eternity to Y/N, Ms. Park wrapped up the lesson, and the bell rang, signaling the end of class. Y/N packed up quickly, her fingers moving with a quiet urgency as she shoved her notebook into her bag. She wanted to slip out fast, to have a moment alone to clear her head.

“Hey, we’re still on for the library, right?” Jake’s voice broke into her thoughts, his tone casual but a little hopeful.

Y/N paused, looking up and giving a quick nod. “Yeah, sure. I’ll see you there,” she replied, the words almost automatic as she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed out the door.

Jake watched her go, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to brush off the uneasy feeling settling in his chest. Y/N was one of the most reliable, predictable people he knew—always the first to finish her notes and keep everything neat and tidy. She never rushed out, not like this.

He stared at the door for a moment, still processing the slight tension in her voice, the way her eyes had darted away from his when she answered. Normally, she’d linger a few minutes with him after class, teasing him about his latest attempt to "ace" calculus or checking over his notes to make sure he hadn’t mixed up half the formulas.

Jake shrugged it off at first, telling himself it was just an off day for her. Everyone had them. But the look in her eyes hadn’t just been exhaustion—it was something quieter, and the more he thought about it, the less he could ignore the feeling creeping over him.

At lunch, Y/N sat quietly as her friends laughed and chatted, her gaze distant as she picked at her food. Usually, lunch with her friends was one of the highlights of her day, the moment she could relax, unwind, and enjoy their company. But today, it was hard to focus, her mind replaying the events of yesterday on a loop.

Sensing her distraction, Minjeong glanced over, reaching across the table to nudge her. “Hey, earth to Y/N. You okay? You’ve been somewhere else all day.”

Y/N hesitated, glancing around the table. Her friends’ faces were filled with curiosity and concern, and she knew she couldn’t brush it off any longer. She took a deep breath, gathering the courage to speak.

“It’s… about Hyunjin,” she began, her voice barely audible. She saw her friends exchange knowing glances, their expressions shifting as they leaned in closer.

“Hyunjin?” Minji asked gently, her eyes softening. “What happened?”

Y/N swallowed, feeling the weight of her words settle in her chest. “We… we ran into each other yesterday, and…” She paused, her fingers tracing patterns on the edge of her tray as she tried to find the right words. “We kissed.”

Y/N’s friends stared at her in stunned silence, the cafeteria’s noisy hum fading into the background as her words sank in.

Minjeong was the first to break the silence, her voice sharp with disbelief. “Hyunjin actually did that? He had the nerve to kiss you?”

“Hold on,” Karina added, looking just as skeptical. “He didn’t think for a second that maybe, just maybe, you’d still be hurt after everything? What the hell was he thinking?”

Y/N winced, her friends’ words hitting harder than she expected, their reactions mirroring the anger and frustration she had been pushing down. She hadn’t thought much about how they might respond, but now, seeing their outrage on her behalf, she felt relieved. In a way, it was like they were giving voice to all the things she hadn’t been able to say herself, each word validating the confusion that had been weighing on her.

Minji crossed her arms, her brows knitting together. “So, he just did that? Out of nowhere? That’s so messed up. Did he even apologize for everything that happened between you two?”

Y/N shook her head, her eyes dropping to her lunch tray. “Not exactly. He said… he said he was sorry, but it was more like he just wanted me to hear him out, not like he really wanted to fix anything.”

Karina let out a frustrated sigh, stabbing her salad with her fork. “Unbelievable. So he brings up all that old stuff, doesn’t even really apologize, and then just decides it’s a good time to kiss you? What an asshole.”

“Maybe he thought he could just charm his way back in,” Minjeong muttered, shaking her head. “It’s classic. He’s used to getting what he wants, and he probably thought he could just… I don’t know, sweep you off your feet again.”

The anger in her friends’ voices was almost comforting, grounding Y/N’s own swirling emotions. But beneath the outrage, she could see the worry in their eyes, the way their expressions softened every time they looked at her.

Minji, her tone gentler now, leaned a little closer. “Y/N, you don’t have to deal with this alone, you know? I can’t believe he did that. After everything you went through…”

Y/N managed a small smile, grateful for their concern. “I know. And honestly, I thought I was over it. I didn’t expect it to shake me up this much.”

Karina’s face softened, and she placed a hand on Y/N’s arm. “Hey, of course it’s messing with your head. Anyone would feel the same way. You went through so much with him… it makes sense you’d feel something when he shows up out of the blue like this.”

Y/N took a deep breath, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just… it’s confusing. I thought I’d moved on, and then… when he kissed me, all those old memories just rushed back. Like I was right there all over again.”

Minjeong’s face softened, her earlier anger fading to something more understanding. “That’s normal. It’s hard when someone who meant a lot to you just shows up like that, reopening wounds. But it doesn’t mean you haven’t moved on.”

Karina nodded in agreement, her expression gentle. “Just because it stirred up old feelings doesn’t mean you’re still tied to him. It’s probably more about the memories, you know? The past is messy. It doesn’t just disappear when you want it to.”

Y/N glanced around the table, her friends’ support calming the chaotic emotions whirling inside her. “I’m glad you guys are here. I didn’t know how to handle it on my own.”

Minji reached out, patting her hand gently. “Of course we’re here. You don’t have to deal with this alone.”

Karina shot her a warm smile. “And if you ever need someone to punch him for you, you know where to find us. Just say the word, and we’re all there.”

“Yeah,” Minjeong chuckled, her tone softening further. “But also, if you think you need to talk to him again… if you need some kind of closure, or whatever, that’s okay, too. We’ve got your back no matter what.”

Y/N looked around at her friends, the tension in her chest easing slightly. Their encouragement made her feel a little stronger, a little less alone.

The day had almost lulled Jake into a comfortable rhythm. The weight he’d felt at the start of it—the odd feeling of something being amiss—had slowly dissipated as he let the game take over, each pitch, each catch a reminder of why he loved baseball so much. It was a small reprieve, a break from the thoughts he couldn’t quite untangle.

Out on the field, his teammates’ laughter rang in the air as they ran through drills. The feel of the sun on his back and the familiar sound of cleats on the dirt felt grounding, and for a while, Jake allowed himself to forget about the confusion that had been building since his conversation with Y/N that morning.

During the break, Heeseung ambled over, giving him a curious look. "Man, you’re too quiet today. What’s on your mind?”

Jake shrugged, glancing around. “Just… busy day, I guess,” he said, trying to sound casual. He glanced toward Hyunjin, who was off to the side, staring off into the distance. Jake watched him, feeling a strange knot form in his stomach. Something was off, but he wasn’t sure what it was.

“Sure,” Heeseung drawled, following Jake’s gaze. “You both look like someone ran over your dog or something. Everything alright with you and Hyunjin?”

Jake’s brows furrowed. “Why would it have anything to do with Hyunjin?” He said it quickly, defensively almost, before he could stop himself.

Heeseung raised an eyebrow, smirking. “I don’t know. You tell me.” He gestured toward Hyunjin. “But hey, maybe he’s just off because he didn’t get enough sleep. Or…” He shot Jake a sidelong glance. “... maybe it’s girl trouble.”

Jake rolled his eyes, giving him a light shove. “Relax, man. You and your theories.” But his gaze lingered on Hyunjin, a quiet frustration bubbling under the surface. Why did he care if something was wrong with Hyunjin?

Sunghoon joined them, squinting toward the bleachers as he set down his bat. “Oh, hey—speaking of girl trouble, look who’s here.”

Jake followed his gaze, and his chest tightened when he spotted Y/N standing near the edge of the field. Her posture was straight, her expression unreadable as her eyes scanned the players. She hadn’t glanced in his direction, not even for a moment. Instead, her gaze locked onto someone else. Jake’s eyes trailed from her to Hyunjin, and a weight settled in his chest that he couldn’t ignore.

“Looks like Y/N’s here for someone,” Sunghoon teased, nudging Jake with a grin. “Bet you thought you were her favorite baseball player.”

Jake forced a laugh, but it felt hollow even to his own ears. He shrugged, trying to brush it off, but the ache inside him sharpened unexpectedly. “Maybe she’s scouting new talent,” he joked weakly, his eyes darting away as he pretended to be interested in adjusting his glove.

He turned back to the field, focusing on the steady rhythm of the drills, trying to shake off the gnawing feeling that clawed at him. The loud, familiar sound of bats connecting with balls and the thud of gloves catching them should have been grounding, but instead, his mind kept slipping back to Y/N. Her absence from his peripheral vision, the way her attention was fully captured by Hyunjin, made something inside him sink.

There was no anger, no fiery jealousy—just a deep, sinking sense of defeat. It felt like standing on the sideline, watching someone else step into a moment you’d wished could be yours.

Jake tried to refocus, telling himself that he was making too much of it, that maybe she was just tying up loose ends. But even the rational thoughts couldn’t quiet the nagging disappointment simmering inside him. He longed to be the person she came to, the one she trusted with whatever weighed on her mind. But that clearly wasn’t the case.

Each minute seemed to crawl, every pitch and swing feeling routine and detached. No matter how hard he tried to stay focused, his attention kept shifting back to where Y/N stood.

Practice wrapped up sooner than he expected, the echo of Coach Kim's whistle signaling the end. Heeseung and Sunghoon exchanged glances, noticing Jake’s distracted expression as they walked off the field.

“Don’t look so glum,” Heeseung said, his voice teasing as he clapped Jake on the shoulder. “You keep sulking like that, and your fan club’s gonna ask for a refund.”

Jake forced a chuckle, the sound brittle and insincere. “I’m fine,” he replied, though the words tasted hollow, more for their reassurance than his own.

Sunghoon laughed, clearly entertained. “Hey, don’t sweat it, Jake. You know Y/N; she’s probably just here for some friendly catch-up. Besides…” He flashed him a grin. “Who could really replace you?”

They shared a laugh, but as the other players trickled off, Jake lingered, his eyes drifting back to the spot where Y/N and Hyunjin had stood. Now, only the faint rustle of the trees and the distant calls of his teammates remained. She was already gone, and so was any hope of clarity he might have found.

He stood there for a moment longer, his gaze dropping to the grass as the feeling of disappointment settled heavily in his chest. For the first time in a long while, Jake felt utterly defeated.

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side note well this took a super long time to write... ive been saur busy with exams and stuff its insane omg >_< little angst plot building here i love it sm ( this series isn't ending anytime soon )

꒰ synopsis ꒱ sim jaeyun, west shore high’s star athlete and notorious flirt, doesn’t know what possessed him to sit next to y/n, one of the school’s top students. but when jake finds himself falling hard for the first time, he’s determined to prove to y/n that even a so called f-boy can love — and love deeply.

make a wish ? TAGLIST ( open ) @dreamiestay @xeee334 @getoxo @nxzz-skz @danielleism @breadlover01 @haechsworld @tlnyjoong @simpjay