#re: base code
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Forgot to show you guys this re2r (I think) Leon I drew he's so baby face, idk dude drawing this gave me some sort of genuine joy
Reblog if I should draw Leon as a furry
#yes its based on the treat animation from#mirth on youtube#dog leon#hes so fucking cute#im killing myself#leon dog#guys hes so puppy coded#(kill me)#real tags start here#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon#leon Kennedy as a dog#re#resident evil#re2 remake#i think thats the game
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes#edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭
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T-Veronica Infused Steve Burnside in Resident Evil: Code Veronica X (2000)
#crimson's gifs: resident evil#Resident Evil#RE#Resident Evil: Code Veronica X#RE: Code Veronica X#RE: CVX#Code Veronica#Steve Burnside#Steve (CVX)#I feel like if Steve was brought back and they tried to give him the superhuman side effects they'd have to keep it more lowkey#Not like rose in re8 that shit stinks its so fucking off-base for RE. More like Sherry and Natalia with enhanced sight and healing#Maybe he doesnt age usually like Sherry and has enhanced strength to some degree?#It'd be cool if his thing was enhanced sight but like how he wouldn't need a scope on a sniper enhanced to match his gun affinity
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excerpting
Domestic Diplomacy II is turning out to be even more "splickedy gratuitously gets caught in the weeds of xenosociology and alien language barriers, the fic sequel" and tbh I'm not mad about it
--
“Oh, your moirail!” says Jade, and bounces upright, ignoring John’s wary little soft human cautionary hiss. To your vague surprise, she’s apparently learned enough not to do the human holding-out-a-hand gesture they usually do when they’re introduced; she clasps her hands in front of her, nonexistent claws politely folded in, and ducks her head briefly forward and to one side, careful not to jab at him with her nonexistent horns.
It's a pretty passable greeting—for a social equal, which is its own bizarre issue, considering he’s a highblood. But relatively non-offensive, for a human, and fortunately for her she’s picked a highblood who isn’t likely to give a shit. Gamzee laughs out loud and gives his own lazy-ass version of a greeting back, a vague twist of his wrists and dip of his head, condescending to use an equal’s greeting back at her. When he says “Gamzee Makara,” there’s a hint of a threatening buzz to it, a testing you should know to respect me warning—you could have told him she’d show absolutely no sign of hearing it, which is exactly what happens.
“I’m Jade Harley! I meet you,” Jade says, a carefully neutral statement-of-fact greeting—not fawning or hostile. You don’t know if humans are out here just learning neutral address no matter what, or if this human particularly just doesn’t give a shit that your moirail’s a fuck-off mutant-huge highblood with horns that scrape the ceiling of the block—by the expectant way she looks up at Gamzee afterward, she wouldn’t give much of a shit either way. Out of all of the humans, Jade Harley might actually win the prize for giving the least shits, no matter what Rose and Dave like to pretend.
“Yeah, I meet you too, motherfucker,” says Gamzee, looking incredibly amused, and glances down at you. “She’s a rude-ass little motherfuckin’ toothful, huh? I like her.”
“Of course you do,” you say, pained. “Don’t take it personally, alright? You’re not a highblood here, they don’t get highbloods.”
“Oh, best friend,” says Gamzee, and kisses your nugbone again, embarrassingly. “I’m a highblood wherever the fuck I go. It’s cool though. Squishy-ass little motherfuckers won’t get any grief from me.”
“<Motherfucker>,” Jade repeats behind you, and switches back to English, in the bright, wide verbal tone you’re starting to learn means ‘smiling and happy’, weird interstitial ‘vowel’ breath-sounds further back in the throat through pulled-back mouth-corners. “Hmm, <motherfucker>… Oh, neat! Is that dialect? It sounds like, ahh, what’s that other word. Kk—kkkht— Uh, dammit. You guys need to learn how to use vowels— It sounds like <;brother>.”
“It is like,” you say, surprised despite yourself. “<Brother> is a troll, and <motherfucker> you put it all spots you want. It’s a thing, it’s a troll, it’s a, tss, a doing-things word, it’s a name. It’s bad, it’s good. Any spot you want. And he does want, for all those, all the time.”
#splickedydrabbles#Homestuck#Domestic Diplomacy#me staring into the distance: what if 'motherfucker' and 'brother' are translated different but they're related words in alternian....#what if 'brother' and 'sister' aren't different words theyre just translated in english based on gender but there's no distinction actually#it's all the word I tend to translate as 'kin'/'family'/'fam' lol but gendered by english-speakers for comprehension#what if alternian greetings have implicit settings for 'i'm hostile to you' and 'i'm trying to be non-offensive and polite'#and the lack of either is an implicit message of 'we're equals' which comes with its own social baggage RE: castes#what if I approached Homestuck as though it was implicitly a translated text ala JRR Tolkein's meta-narrative of Lord of the Rings#''Alternian wouldn't spell his name 'karkat vantas' of course but it's been anglicized for the audience with additional vowel sounds''#'when his tone of voice is referenced in this line it of course actually refers to his engagement of his third subvocal chatterbox--''#WHAT IF--#I am frothing at the damn mouth I love fucking around in this sandbox so much I will make up ALL the societal/cultural indicators#this is the casual/semi-formal/court-formal code-switching in Save a Horse Ride a Dragon all over again lmao NO REGERTS
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pinning to the workshop corkboard: you've heard of winston "i'm cassandra" billions clairvoyance concepts for fun & profit, hear also of winston billions sphinx concepts (you must be This understanding of what he means to proceed)
#not a brand new one but the other day i was like have i ever put that to words & post? then i saw two unrelated sphinxposting reminders#winston billions#the riddlerrr sphinx also like yeah yeah winged lion form. kind of a hassle but optional perhaps still b/c yeah that's fun#did have the thought ''what if his pet cat is also secretly what has the winged lion that kills you form lol''#also the thought that whatever Gate / Boundary / [cannot proceed] happens could be Varied as well as Involuntary#would add to the like episodic type possibilities like oops how do we get past this? what's the issue? even winston may not know#meanwhile like Deliberate Obfuscation would only go so far re: the metaphor here being relevant to winston the autistic person#he Has to be understood; on his terms. you gotta work to & actually figure out what he is conveying to you#i suppose also ''or die'' is an option here lol. nightmare scenario for everyone who'd rather steamroll him forever to be sure; but#[you just Can't proceed] applied less lethally than that still affords plenty of You Have To Understand What He Means possibilities#see also: [rian as basically an oc based mostly on pre production hiatus funny little guy status] translating what he means....#just Not Really A Problem shrugmoji (audhd solidarity (rian 5x05 thru 07 oc continues))#yet would hardly imply taylor is a party who wouldn't also usually understand winston easily & accurately (not like 5x07 does either)#plus then complications like do ppl twist Understanders' arms for cheat codes sometimes. try to posit them as hypotheticals lol#in this world where sometimes a coworker is a sphinx or is; in tandem with his cat? well sometimes they're autistic. nonbinary#genderfluid. wear glasses. just another day at the encouragement to crush coworkers factory#anyway something where if i had a zillion detailed thoughts on this it might be other than a brief nocturnal text post but#see also: who says solving a riddle can't be a conversation / the riddlerrr is also trying to figure it out.#like sure i guess i can give clues & hints but i'm not even sure they're useful / not sure what i'm clueing you in to either#clue....like minotaurs out here (clew like the thread/yarn. like is used to find your way through / out of a labyrinth)#anyway e.g. like oh you can't do [xyz] in whatever thwarted way? how can Figuring Out Smthing W/Winston help? maybe he doesn't know either#maybe his cat has materialized huge & Theoretically lethal to thwart smthing. maybe regular size & just swatting at you. who can say#maybe winston is like hm i see that i can fly or kill you more than usual. who else can say. &c. imagine#meanwhile tfw ''okay i genuinely get what you mean'' doesn't guarantee then like. proceeding w/any basic respect beyond that lol#but already more leverage / more effort in that by far & perhaps that ability to just shut ppl out of plenty of [access / do whatever]#when indeed even that leverage had / effort given is considered Too Much#can only be guaranteed basic respect in the winston billions guaranteed basic respect au
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honestly code madman intrigues me because we almost got ghosts in RE.
#ooc.#granted they were likely hallucinations#but the demo version of RE 4 aka code madman looked so interesting#and way more creepy / horror based than the final product#and I need threads based on this pls#edit / side note: ok code madman was a fan thing based on limited info of re4#but there were ghosts in an old re4 / 3.5 trailer iirc
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me, like, 3 years ago: i keep rewatching glee s5 toxic, but it's not because i like girls! i just like toxic! and the outfits :)
me now: and why do we think we like the outfits.
#look we got there#but i was re-reading all these comments about how it was a gay awakening and i went 'rip to you but i'm different'#i don't know if it was entirely attraction based. but there were some non-heterosexual feelings going on there#i also think this is grace chasity coded. if steph got her to watch glee.
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nearly oc-tober time again - time for some prompts for 2024
F.A.Q
do i have to draw?
not at all! you are free to participate with any medium that suits you... writing, artwork, free bases and templates, simple text posts, in-character-as-your-oc roleplay, whatever! (just no stealing or AI)
do i have to make new content?
nope! re-uploading old stuff that fits the prompts is allowed (and encouraged) ... old art that didn't get the appreciation it needed always deserves a chance to be shared again, it's a fun throwback!
do i have to post every day?
nope! only 10 days are mandatory (the ones in red with a star symbol) and everything else (yellow) is 100% optional! if you're busy or tired, please skip as many as you want
can i start early?
you can prep your posts in advance if you need to ... but please wait until the right day in october to share them!
can i re-upload your prompt list to another site?
i would prefer if you dont - i have accounts on most sites, so just reblog/retweet/share from me!
event tag?
#bweirdOCtober
have fun!
image desc/text version ↓under the cut↓ or on bweird.art/october
prompts:
WEEK 1: OC INTRODUCTIONS
⭐ 1: FAV OC
what makes them your fav?
2: NEW OC
how recently did you make them?
3: OLD OC
how long ago did you make them?
⭐ 4: UNDER-APPRECIATED OC
an oc you feel like you don't talk about enough, or you haven't fleshed out as much as you would like
5: RE-DESIGNED OC
an oc who has changed a lot (what changed about them?) or, if you haven't redesigned an oc: is there anything you might want to change about an existing oc?
WEEK 2: BUILDING BACKSTORY
⭐ 6: PAST
where is your oc from? what did they look like as a child?
7: LIKES
what do they like (and why?)
8: DISLIKES
what don't they like (and why?)
⭐ 9: RELATIONSHIPS
doesn't have to be romantic! can any kind of relationship (frienship, family, rivalry etc)
10: PERSONALITY
what are your oc's main personality traits
11: SYMBOLISM/THEMES
what represents your oc? is there a specific colour you associate them with, or a specific animal?
12: FUTURE
what will your oc look like in the future? do they have any plans or goals?
WEEK 3: FUN + GAMES
⭐13: MEMES
do any memes remind you of your oc? are there memes your oc would find funny? maybe you want to redraw your oc as one?
14: WHO/WHAT INSPIRED YOUR OC
are there existing characters that your oc looks like? was your oc based on yourself? is your oc originally from a specific fandom?
15: MUSIC
share a character playlist, write a songfic, post lyrics that remind you of them, etc
⭐16: EYES CLOSED or NON DOMINANT HAND
draw a picture of your oc with your eyes closed or with your non domminant hand, write or type a paragraph about them without your eyes closed, etc ... have fun, and don't worry about it looking "bad" -it's meant to!!
17: DnD ALIGNMENT CHART
put all your ocs into a DnD alignment chart, or any other similar chart if you prefer
i've compiled a few templates on my site, but you can find more easily if you google "oc alignment chart"
⭐18: SWAP
swap something between your ocs - their role in the story, hairstyles, personalities, fashion taste, species ... whatever you want! how would this difference change them?
19: PALETTE CHALLENGES
draw your ocs with as many of these colour palettes as you want (or just skip if you don't draw/don't like doing these!)
hex codes for the colours:
palette 1 - #3C1E81 #6D1EA2 #B059E8 #FE0876 #FE5284 #FE7C96 #E0CFE3 #FFD5C3
palette 2 - #352823 #673F28 #AB541C #BA8233 #897128 #A68B2F #F7BF6A #DAC3A4
palette 3 - #A42E25 #D7412B #E47C29 #F7A233 #FCC02D #FCE4A6 #486548 #FEFDE8
palette 4 - #2F4769 #39597E #53779C #94D1E7 #AADDE7 #D48DB7 #D498B5 #D2BABA
WEEK 4: COMMUNITY
20-26: A WHOLE WEEK OF SOCIAL STUFF
if you don't have the time/energy to do every day this week, ⭐ day 23 is the only one marked as mandatory! you can skip the rest!
some ideas for what you could do: talk about a friend's oc you like, make gift art/writing of them, collabs, trades, reblog/appreciate ocs in the event tag, make interactions between your ocs and other people's
WEEK 5: HALLOWEEN
⭐27: FEARS
is your oc scared of anything? do they have any phobias? are they startled easily? would any of your ocs try to scare ppl on purpose?
28: MONSTER
what would your oc be if they were a monster (eg: werewolf, vampire, eldritch beast.. whatever) or, do you have an oc who is already a monster?
29: PUMPKIN CARVING
your ocs carving pumpkins, a drawing of a pumpkin carved to look like your oc ... or even carve it in real life!
30: GHOST
this can be literally a ghost, or a concept that haunts your oc! up to you!
⭐ 31: COSTUMES
what are your ocs wearing for halloween?
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warning you all that I am once again back on my Resident Evil bullshit and I have a ton of RE posts drafted lol, sorry to all the non-RE fans seeing this
#been playing darkside chronicles and it reminds me of my overflowing love of code veronica#so i'm in an RE mood#god i love code veronica i want that to be the next remake SO BAD#i know realistically it is going to be 5 and i like 5 but#where is my claire? my steve? my ashfords? my palace and residence and antarctica base?#h.text#h.REvomit
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I've shared a few pretty straightforward images using my CRT effect, but not much yet that really shows off what an over-engineered monstrosity I've created.
For a start, it's actually 3D. I built most of this in Blender.
Except for the optional bit that simulates composite video artifacts. I wrote that part in shader code and apply it to the base image as a separate step.
I made a high-res shadow mask texture, so it looks pretty good even from absurdly close up.
I can also adjust the scanline hardness and swap the slot mask for a dot mask or aperture grille to simulate different types of display.
Raytracing the whole thing ensures that all of these little details look nice and get sampled correctly, and if I want to change the glare reflecting off of the screen...
...I can adjust it by rearranging the furniture in the room.
So... yeah. That's what is current going on whenever I post pixel art with my CRT effect. It's not quite perfect yet, but I think it's getting pretty good.
#This would probably be way easier if I actually had a real CRT for reference#Instead I'm relying mostly on photos and technical documents from the internet#And memories of course#I really like working on technical art projects like this. I have several that I just haven't found a good way to share yet.#crt#simulation#pixel art#digital art#artists on tumblr#art process
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What’s it called when you have poor self-esteem but at the same time you have 100% confidence in almost anything you do? Delusion?
#mostly I’m an idiot but I also have twice now learned how to use two random course creation programs to fix online courses#and despite the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing I somehow managed to re-code some variables for buttons that do funky things#like I fully believe I could be a professional instructional designer based on my one hour of success fixing this course#also storyline 360 is top tier and Adobe captivate can suck it
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so american
wanda maximoff x fem!reader
summary: in which you struggle with the aftermath of your relationship with natasha, but wanda never fails to help you through it all.
or, the one based off so american by olivia rodrigo.
word count: 11,499
tags: fluff, angst, natasha being a bitch in one scene, this was supposed to be completely fluffy but then i added angst and ended up loving it, they're mostly just two idiots in love, reader gets insecure a couple times, wanda's so in love, everyone say thank you to olivia rodrigo for fuelling all my fic ideas
part one: enough for you
“Why do Americans drive on the right side of the road,” Wanda grumbles as she sits behind the wheel, driving the two of you to your favorite road trip destination, your family’s cottage in Nevada.
You laugh, kissing her cheek. “Baby, Sokovians do too.”
“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it,” Wanda mutters, cursing under her breath when another right-hand turn takes her by surprise.
“I think that’s what you get for getting your license in the UK, Wanda,” you tease. “Now you’re all grumpy, and angry, and that milkshake we shared a couple of hours ago definitely didn’t help–”
Wanda gives you a look and you give a cheeky smile in return.
“For the record,” she replies, looking at the road once more. “I didn’t have a choice. I was on a recon mission with Steve, and he told me I couldn’t rely on my powers for transportation all the time.”
“Well, I think your powers are hot, though.”
Wanda laughs. “Thanks, detka.”
“Jesus, I’m cold,” you mutter as goosebumps start to form on your skin.
Wanda immediately turns down the AC in the car, and you reach into the back for the first piece of outerwear you can find. As you pull your hand back to your body, you realize it’s Wanda’s navy blue hoodie, your favorite piece of clothing of hers. Smiling, you pull it over your head, comforted by the scent of her that enraptures your senses.
Sighing in satisfaction, you lean your head back into your chair, feeling so much more content than you did a year ago.
Wanda notices you out of the corner of her eye, and softly says, “You look so pretty wearing my clothes.”
You smile at her, and Wanda takes your hand in return, as she keeps her other on the wheel, intertwining your fingers together.
“You’re so warm,” you whisper, feeling so so loved.
Wanda squeezes your hand tighter.
***
Wanda’s laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world, you realized the first day you met her.
You had been sitting and talking the entire morning, Wanda’s smile awakening the constant butterflies in your stomach and setting your heart alive.
“So,” Wanda rests her chin onto her hand and leans onto her elbow. “What profession are you in?”
You smile, “I’m an oncologist, but I much prefer the research aspect of things. I find it thrilling.”
Wanda scrunches her nose. “You find spending countless hours in front of your computer and in a lab thrilling?”
You laugh. “Sure do. What about you? What profession are you in?”
“I’m an Avenger, but I work part-time as an English professor at a local university,” Wanda replies, and before you can compliment her on her work as a superhero, she asks another question, still curious about your job. “Why oncology, though?” she asks with her shiny eyes ever so inquisitive.
“My mom died of cancer when I was 8,” you look into your coffee cup, staring at the liquid as you pop the lid off. “You can probably figure out the rest,” you give a small smile.
Wanda frowns. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it was a long time ago. I’ve made peace with it, honestly.”
“That’s really amazing though,” Wanda says, struck by how beautiful you were on the outside and inside.
You blush. “Thanks.” Feeling overwhelmed by everything Wanda was making you feel you decide to tell a joke. “Hey, what do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?”
Wanda tilts her head curiously. “What?”
“Re-morse code,” you give a small smile.
Wanda takes a second to process it, but once she does, a huge grin makes its way on her face and she’s laughing.
She’s laughing, and you want to keep hearing it for the rest of your life.
Once she’s done, she looks at you with a shake of her head. “That was awful.”
You shrug. “Made you laugh, though.”
“You did,” Wanda nods. “And something tells me you’ll keep making me laugh.”
You blush, people had never really found you funny. Nat didn’t especially.
But here Wanda was, with her comforting smile that made you feel like you were on fire, and her soft green eyes that made you feel safe, cared for, and loved already.
Who made you feel like you were funny for the first time in your life.
***
“Here we are,” Wanda says, stepping out of the car and slamming the door shut.
You sigh contently, so incredibly happy compared to the dark place you were at two years ago. Sometimes, you still felt the weight of how unloved you had felt. Of how you never felt good enough, never felt worthy of someone caring for you. And every time you ran back into your thoughts, Wanda was there to pull you out of your head and reassure you that you deserved the world. Telling you that she would do her best to give it to you.
It all felt surreal. Gently, you hear Wanda open the car door to the passenger side. The simple action made your heart flutter. “Ready, detka?” she says, smiling at you.
Nodding, you exit the car, planting a kiss on her lips before she shuts the door.
Putting her sunglasses on, she comments, “You know, you’re pretty American for having a cottage. With the beach, and everything.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” you ask.
“Yep, because you’re an adorable American,” she smiles, kissing you quickly.
It wasn’t fair of her, to make you feel this much.
***
Wanda’s on a mission in Russia, and you miss her desperately. You found yourself struggling whenever you were alone, still grappling with the feelings of whether you were enough from two years ago. Your rock was all the way on another continent, too far to reassure you of the constant echoes of awful thoughts that rang in your head.
“Can I go with you?” you had asked as you sat on Wanda’s bed while she packed the night before with you.
Wanda kisses your lips. “As much as I would love that, detka, I want you to be safe,” she rubs your arm.
“I’m gonna miss you,” you say quietly.
Wanda frowns. “I know, baby, I’m gonna miss you too. So much.”
You nod, and as you sit quietly on her bed, Wanda can tell your head is somewhere else.
Grabbing your hand softly, Wanda sits in front of you, staring into your eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” you look away.
Kissing your forehead gently, Wanda pulls back with encouraging and comforting eyes. “I love you,” she says softly.
And it’s all you need, because it’s the most delicate, soft, unspoken gesture you’ve ever heard. One that screams that she cares, that she won’t leave you, that she won’t hurt you, and that she truly honestly loves you with all her heart and you can feel it radiating off of her.
Wanda Maximoff made you feel like you were the most important person in the world to her.
Little did you know, you truly were, and to confirm it Wanda had a ring in her back pocket which she bought a week after she started dating you with her at all times.
“I love you too,” you reply, giving her a small smile. “I just want to be anywhere you are,” you confess as you start blushing timidly.
“Oh? That’s cute,” Wanda teases.
“Shut up,” you groan, hiding your face in the crook of her neck.
Wanda laughs, kissing your temple. “I do too, detka.”
“Really?” you pull your head away to meet her gaze.
“Of course,” Wanda smiles. “Being with you is my favorite thing in the world. Why wouldn’t I want it all the time?”
You blush furiously. “You know, if you keep this up–”
“What?” she asks gently.
I might just marry you. You think, oblivious to the fact that Wanda’s already had the thought countless times.
You shake your head with a smile.
***
When Wanda’s on her mission, she buys a small chocolate chip cookie keychain that reminds her of you. They were your favorite food, and every Sunday, Wanda made sure to bake a fresh batch for the week so you never had to run out of one of your favorite things.
And when she gets back, only seconds after she puts her bags down she feels her arms fill with you and her heart becomes so much bigger than it was before. She kisses you deeply, smiling to herself at the person she loves in her arms.
Whispering against your lips, she pulls the keychain out of her left back pocket, her right one carrying the ring she’s planning on proposing to you with. “I bought this for you,” she tells you, letting it dangle off of her index finger by the silver ring that she later finds out gets attached to the zipper of your favorite backpack.
And God, Wanda would be a fool not to be eternally charmed by the way your eyes light up with joy once you see it, the happy tears in your eyes making her want to hug you so tightly and never ever let go. “I love it,” you reply, grabbing it softly as if it’s made of the most delicate china. “I love you,” you kiss her lips.
Wanda shakes her head. “So American,” she teases, referring to your love for chocolate chip cookies.
“Yeah, but I’m your American,” you reply cheekily.
Wanda nods, kissing you once more. “My beautiful, perfect, so American girlfriend.”
Wanda feels her heart skip a beat when you blush all over.
***
You’re crying. You’re crying because you saw Natasha for the first time since the two of you broke up, and her words don’t hurt any less than they did when the two of you were dating. Natasha had just seen you and Wanda, wrapped up in each other’s arms, admiring one another at Tony’s enormous birthday party.
Once Wanda had left to go let Pietro in, who had run back all the way from Australia where he was taking a break from the superhero life, Natasha had come up to you. Ready to poison your world with her venomous tongue.
“You know, she’ll get sick of you,” Natasha had snapped you out of your thoughts as you stared at the door where Wanda had just left.
“What?” you reply as you turn to face her on the leather stool. Her calculating and judging eyes causing you to gulp. Even now, you still felt her hurtful words ring the bells of your insecurities back to life.
“She’ll get sick of you,” Nat repeats. “I mean, why do you think we broke up? You’re boring, you’re rude, and you’re obsessive. All my friends told me about how you couldn’t shut up about me when we were together. I mean, clingy much?”
“I didn’t mean–” you try.
Nat scoffs. “Yeah, whatever.” She takes a sip of her drink.
You feel the need to apologize, for you never meant to make Nat feel suffocated that way, when suddenly a brunette witch is making her way over to you. And she looks like she’s about to rain down hellfire on Natasha.
“Excuse me.” Wanda’s eyes narrow as she wraps an arm around your shoulder. “I believe she’s my girlfriend, Natasha.”
“Just warning her.” Natasha shrugs. “And you.”
You stare at the spot on your lap, deciding on whether or not to blink away the tears in your eyes or cry, because ever since you dated Natasha you had learned how to cry silently so you wouldn’t bother her.
Wanda raises an eyebrow, and her accent comes out thicker than ever before, “And what would you be warning me about?”
“Of her,” Natasha shrugs.
Wanda’s eyes go red before she calms down, and her arm around you tightens in the most gentle way somehow. “I’ll give you five seconds to leave us alone.”
“You’re gonna regret this, Wanda,” Natasha says.
“The only person with regret is you, for never treating her the way she deserves to be treated,” Wanda replies sharply.
Natasha scoffs, turning around. “As if she deserves anything.”
Suddenly, Natasha’s glass explodes in her hands, ‘causing everyone in the party to look her way. You can tell it was Wanda based on the way you saw a spark of red flash in her hands briefly.
Natasha turns and narrows her eyes venomously at Wanda, before stalking off to go clean the cut that’s very visible on her hand.
You’re still staring at the same spot on your lap when Wanda turns to face you, cupping your cheeks in her hands as she looks at you.
“Are you alright, milaya?” she asks, the heartbroken expression on your face making her heart drop to her stomach. You didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve this at all.
“Do you hate me?” you whisper brokenly, the tears finally escaping your eyes as you can no longer keep them at bay.
“No, baby, no,” Wanda wipes the tears running down your cheeks with her thumbs. “I could never, ever, hate you.”
“What did I do to make her hate me so much? What’s wrong with me?” you ask with a sob.
“Nothing,” Wanda feels her own tears build up behind her eyes. “Nothing is wrong with you, baby, you’re the most amazing human being I know.”
And Wanda’s heart breaks even more, as you cry more and more, silently.
Somehow, it’s even more heartbreaking than if you were to ever make a sound.
You cry even more as you replay tonight’s events in your head, still in the navy blue dress Wanda had picked for you for the party, telling you how pretty you looked once she saw you in it. You felt so wrong, like you didn’t deserve any of what Wanda was giving you, like she would get sick of you the same way Natasha did. Because maybe Natasha was right, maybe you didn’t deserve anything. Because if you did deserve anything, then why would Natasha treat you so awfully, why would your mom have left you as a child and why would your brother leave you too, so overridden with the pain of the lack of your mom that he couldn’t bear to watch you, leaving you with your abusive father who reeked of alcohol every night.
The thoughts sicken you, because your mother never ever meant to have cancer. And it wasn’t your brother’s fault that he couldn’t handle a life without your beautiful, loving mother in it. And it wasn’t your father’s fault either that he had a drinking problem.
Maybe it was all your fault.
You hear the knock on your door, and you can tell by the pattern that it’s Wanda. “Detka, can I come in?” she says gently from the other side of the door.
Quietly, you get up from your bed, turning the doorknob, and opening the door. The motions feel unnatural to you, like you’re some stranger who’s been playing the role of having a loving girlfriend, but your world was shattered earlier and you don’t know who you are anymore. You don’t know if you deserve anything anymore.
“Oh, baby,” Wanda says heartbroken as she wraps you in a tight hug.
This was your fault, seeing the sad look in her eyes you realize that you hurt Wanda.
You hurt the one person in your life whom you never meant to hurt.
It was all your fault.
You hug her back, because maybe if you hug her back it would make her feel better and it would be less of your fault.
Wanda tightens her grip on you, wanting to convey how much she loves you. Wanting to convey how much you didn’t deserve any of this. Wanting to wordlessly tell you that despite all the pain you’ve been through you handle it with so much grace, and you’re the most beautiful person Wanda’s ever met in her life.
But Wanda can tell that you’re not okay, that your mind is somewhere else–
Then she hears you sob. And it’s the first sound of a cry that Wanda’s ever heard from you.
And Wanda can feel the tears fall onto her shoulder and she holds you tighter, she holds you tighter and tighter until Natasha’s hurtful words are overrun by Wanda’s overwhelming love she feels for you.
Wanda can only hope you understand what she’s saying.
And once you’re done crying at 3 in the morning, she keeps hoping.
***
Wanda’s worried about you, ever since Nat had spoken to you at the party you had been more quiet. More reserved. Like your mind was somewhere else.
“Baby?” she asks one morning when you’re both alone in the compound and Wanda wants to cook you breakfast.
“Yeah?” you ask, staring absentmindedly at the sitcom running on the TV.
You were ecstatic when the first day Wanda met you, you had both found out about your shared love for sitcoms.
But Wanda watches you know, the complete lack of interest in Malcolm in the Middle worrying her because it was your favorite sitcom of them all and typically you would have a completely enraptured look in your eye. The same one Wanda was lucky enough to receive from you.
Frowning, Wanda pauses in her cooking, turning the heat off the stove and coming over to meet you on the couch.
You don’t register when Wanda sits down next to you, still lost in your thoughts as she gently grabs your hand.
“What’s going on?” she asks softly, running her thumb over the back of your hand.
“Nothing,” you reply, sitting up slightly.
“Detka, I know you’re not okay. And you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but just know that I care about you, ok?” Wanda kisses your forehead gently. “I’m always here if you need me.”
You frown, feeling so guilty that you were making Wanda worried about you. You couldn’t pretend to be okay, and now you’ve hurt her even more. How long until she gets sick of you? How long until she gets sick of the feelings you give her?
“How long–” your voice breaks. “How long until you get sick of me?”
“What?” Wanda asks, dumbfounded.
“I keep making you worry, keep making you need to constantly reassure me, and it must be so tiring for you, so,” you shut your eyes tightly. “How long until you don’t want me anymore?”
Wanda’s heart breaks. “Never,” she breathes out. “I could never stop wanting you, even if I tried.” Wanda squeezes your hand tightly. “And I would never want to try.”
“But I’m–” you bite your lip to stop a cry from coming out. “I’m so much to deal with, and I’m not even that interesting, and it would be so much easier for you to date someone who’s actually worthy of how amazing you are–”
Wanda cuts you off with a kiss. Cupping your cheek, she states, “You are so worthy of love, Y/N.”
You stay silent, staring back at her green eyes and feeling them pull you out of toxic puddle that was your thoughts like they always did.
“Loving you is the greatest gift the world has ever given me,” Wanda says, rubbing her thumb against your cheek. “And I could never get sick of you. You are the most incredible thing to ever exist, and loving you, for me, is like breathing. It’s the easiest thing in the world, and it’s everywhere.”
“I just feel like I’m putting you through a lot,” you say quietly.
“You’re not,” Wanda shakes her head. “You’re actually making everything I go through easier than it’s ever been.”
“I’m sorry,” you say.
“Sorry for what?” Wanda asks. “This is everything I love about you.”
You laugh. “You like when I start crying and get insecure?”
“I like every part of you. And if you need me to calm you down every single day, I’ll do it in a heartbeat,” Wanda replies, and you smile slightly at her. “But I do hate seeing you cry.” She frowns.
You scoff. “I hate feeling like this,” you mutter.
“And I hate Natasha for making you feel like this,” Wanda pulls you into her side and you tuck your head into her shoulder, closing your eyes.
“I don’t think it was just her,” you say softly. “I think it was a buildup of everything, and Nat just amped it up more. I never really worked through how much that relationship affected me before jumping into one with you.”
Wanda nods. “Do you want me to give you some space for you to figure it out?”
You shake your head, wrapping your arms around her waist. “I never want–” you stop yourself, worrying she’ll find you too clingy as Nat’s words ring in your head again. Space from you.
Wanda doesn’t mean to, but your thoughts echo so loudly in your head that she can’t help but hear them. And she wants to kill Natasha all over again. “What did Natasha say to you at the party?” she asks quietly.
“Um,” you grapple with your feelings as you relive that night, when Nat made all of your feelings of inadequacy come alive once more. Wanda frowns, rubbing her palm against your side to calm you down. “She said, that–, that you would get sick of me eventually. That I’m boring. And rude. And,” you swallow past the lump in your throat. “Too clingy.”
“What a bitch,” Wanda mutters.
“Do you think she’s right?” you ask Wanda, squeezing her waist tighter as your fears that Wanda will get sick of you come alive, and these are your last few moments with the person who lit up your entire world.
“No, baby, she’s so so wrong,” Wanda replies, her eyes turning red before she looks down at you and frowns as she sees your eyes squeezed tightly shut.
“The clingy one hurts me the most,” you whisper. “All I wanted was to love her and for her to love me back. But maybe I’m too much.”
You recall all the times you memorized her new coffee order every few months, the countless hours you had spent re-reading her self-help books, memorizing every fact, listening to all of her favorite songs from the information you had gathered about her. And the way you felt so proud to be Natasha’s girlfriend, the greatest assassin in the world and she chose you to be her partner. How could you have not talked about her?
Maybe it was too much?
“I think you’re the most amazing person in the world,” Wanda says, as her powers run amok once more and she sees all the lovely gestures you had done for Natasha. “I think Nat was an idiot for not seeing how kind and loving you are. And you are never too much.”
You look up at Wanda as she looks down at you with a small smile. Kissing your forehead softly, she says, “You’re not boring. And you’re not rude. In fact, you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, as well as the kindest. And if someone is lucky enough to be loved by you, they should realize how rare it is to find someone as incredible as you.”
You shake your head softly in disbelief. “How do you do it?” you ask.
“Do what?”
“Make me feel like I’m actually worthy of being loved.”
Wanda kisses you deeply this time.
“You are, I’m just the one who helps you see it.”
Later that night, Wanda hears you on the phone with one of your oncology friends, and she hears you talk about her. How amazing she is, and how lucky you are to have her. And when she sees you flop back onto the bed through the crack of your door, an elated expression on your face, as you speak dreamily about the way Wanda dresses and the books she reads, Wanda thinks that you’re the greatest thing the world has ever created. And she knows it’s true.
***
“Baby?” you say, turning to face Wanda in the dark in your bed. Wanda has her arm over your side, and she hums groggily as she was about to fall asleep.
“What’s going on?” she asks, her voice still heavy with sleep.
“Nothing,” you say quickly, before slowly saying, “It’s just, I really, really, love you.”
Wanda smiles. “You woke me up to say that?”
“I didn’t know you were basically asleep,” you reply guiltily. “Guess the mission wore you out more than a night-shift wears me out. Sorry.”
Wanda kisses you. “Don’t be, you’re adorable.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course, milaya.”
“It’s really hard to sleep when you’re next to me,” you confess.
Wanda grins into the dark. “Oh, yeah? Is it because I’m so attractive?”
You laugh. “Yes,” you reply, and Wanda’s grin turns smug. “But it’s also because it’s so surreal that I’m with you, at all. And it’s even more surreal that you’re in my bed with me, cuddling me, and you’re so warm and soft and it just makes me want to–”
Wanda cuts you off with a kiss.
God, she was so in love with you.
You grin sheepishly, “Sorry.”
Wanda rolls her eyes. “Stop apologizing, detka.”
“Okay,” you nod.
“Feel better?” Wanda asks, and you understand her question. It’s been a month since Nat confronted you at the party, and moments like this were a big step for you in coming to terms with yourself overall.
“Much,” you reply. “Especially because you’re here.”
Wanda smiles. “I’m glad.”
Wanda’s heart swells when she cuddles you once more, and you hold her hand that’s around your middle as tightly as you can. She feels an overwhelming love for you, and she thinks about the ring in her desk drawer back in her room.
***
Wanda’s laughing at your joke on the couch. Wanda’s the only one who has ever laughed at your jokes, and it makes you feel so much lighter than ever before, while also making you fall deeper and deeper in love with the woman you’re lucky enough to call your girlfriend.
“You know, you’re the only person who’s ever laughed at my jokes,” you say.
Wanda smiles. “Well, then everyone else doesn’t have as sophisticated sense of humor as we do.”
You give her an incredulous look. “The first day I met you, you laughed at a stupid pun I made.”
“Exactly,” Wanda shrugs. “Sophisticated.”
You shake your head with a smile, taking a sip of your tea as your heart feels bigger and more full than you ever thought possible.
And Wanda watches you, awestruck at your striking beauty that she struggles to believe is reality.
***
Wanda’s sick. Wanda’s sick and you’re worried because your girlfriend is in pain and you don’t want her to be.
When you came in this morning back from your shift in the hospital, excited to see her, your heart had dropped at seeing her pained expression in bed, her voice croaky and her brows furrowed as she battled the feeling of nausea that overcame her. Not to mention her shivers as her high fever caused her even more misery.
You sat down on the edge of her bed, softly brushing away the strands of hair that stuck to her forehead due to her high temperature, ‘causing Wanda to stir eventually.
Slowly opening her eyes, her eyes lit up as she greeted you with a soft smile. “Hi,” she whispered.
Frowning, you put the back of your hand against her forehead. “Baby, you’re warm,” you told her, suddenly very worried.
“I’m fine,” Wanda replied, trying to sit up but letting out a groan. “I’m not fine,” she joked, as you helped her lay back down.
“Stay here, I’ll go get you some medicine,” you said, kissing her forehead quickly before heading to the cabinets full of medicine in the bathroom.
“Don’t take too long, Dr. L/N,” Wanda said sleepily as she shut her eyes once more, trying her best to fight her exhaustion so she would still be awake when you came back.
Shaking your head with a smile, you searched through the cabinets to find the proper medication to give her, already planning how you were going to take care of her the rest of the day and for as long as she needed you while she combatted her illness. Despite your worry, you were grateful that you were finally able to take care of your girlfriend, the same way she did to you every single day.
Wanda’s condition had subsided slightly, particularly her fever which had gone down quite a bit, but she was still feeling most of the effects of the sickness.
“Wands,” you say softly, putting the bowl of soup on her nightstand as you kneel down on her side to wake her up gently with a kiss on her cheek.
Wanda wakes from her slumber with a groan, still slightly disoriented causing you to frown.
“Is your fever back?” you ask, putting the back of your hand on her forehead like you had done previously this morning. It wasn’t as hot as before, calming your worry a bit.
Wanda shakes her head before resting it on your shoulder, letting out a sigh. “You’re so good,” she says, turning her head to kiss your neck gently.
“Good at what?” you say with a laugh.
“Just good,” she says contently, relaxing in your presence.
“I made you some soup,” you tell her, kissing her temple as she hums.
“I don’t want it,” she says, muffled by your shirt.
“I’ll stay with you if you have a couple bites,” you offer.
Wanda removes her head from your shoulder and raises a brow. “You were going to stay with me anyways,” she says matter-of-factly, trying her best to appear intimidating.
You smile at her cute expression. Wanda could never be intimidating, especially now when her hair was slightly tousled from her pillow and she was wearing an old T-shirt of yours that was full of wrinkles from her time in bed.
She was about as intimidating as a baby sea otter.
“Not anymore,” you shrug, ‘causing Wanda to narrow her eyes slightly.
“Well, you better,” she retorts, crossing her arms over her chest. “Otherwise I’m never getting over this fever.”
You smile once more.
“You know, you’re really cute when you’re sick.”
“You’re insufferable when I’m sick.”
You laugh, “Please, will you have some soup?”
“Only if you cuddle with me when I’m better.”
“I’ll cuddle you right now if you eat a couple spoonfuls,” you say. “I’ll even feed you.”
“I don’t want to get you sick,” Wanda says before her eyes narrow at you once more. “Also, I’m not a child.”
“I got my flu shot last month,” you tell her, reassuring her worries. “And you’re kinda acting like one,” you tease, before kissing her forehead. “But it’s really cute.”
Finally, Wanda relents. “Fine, I’ll have some soup.”
“Thank you, love.”
You grab the soup from the nightstand and hand it to her, and as she eats you rest your head on her shoulder, one of Wanda’s top 3 favorite ways to be next to you.
She eats about half before she’s full, and you tell her you’re proud of her before heading off to the kitchen to put the bowl away.
However, as you get up from her bed, Wanda stops you by grabbing your wrist.
“Where are you going?” she asks, sitting up slightly as she was already laying back down with the blankets tucked under her chin.
“To put the bowl away,” you respond gently. “Keeping it in your room might make it start to smell like chicken noodle.”
Wanda scrunches her nose, accepting your answer quickly making you laugh.
But as you’re about to leave, you see Wanda watching you, staying sitting up and you can tell that it’s because she wants to wait for you to come back.
Making your way back over, you gently tell her, “Go back to sleep,” you brush a strand of hair away from her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. “You’re nauseated again, I can tell.”
“Will you be here when I wake up?” she asks.
“Of course,” you kiss the tip of her nose.
And when she lies back down, groggily croaking out the words, “so american,” most likely commenting on the chicken noodle soup, you smile, you smile because you know that’s Wanda’s way of saying she loves you.
But to Wanda, it’s also her way of saying she wants to marry you.
***
“This isn’t fair,” you pout as Wanda beats you in Mario Kart once again.
She had been better for about a week, and she was back to herself which you were ecstatic about.
“Baby, how is this not fair,” she laughs.
“You’re way better than me! You had all those years where you played against Pietro, who’s unbeatable, and I only learned ‘cause Sam forced me to when no one else was available!” You cross your arms over your chest.
Wanda smiles at the cute pout on your face before kissing you softly, and your expression eases up a bit.
“We can play something else if you want,” she offers, pecking your lips once more.
“Can I just cuddle you?” you ask, suddenly feeling very shy.
“You don’t even have to ask,” Wanda says, opening her arms for you to lay down on her, as she leans back against the pillow of the couch, your head resting on her chest as you’re comforted by the sound of her heartbeat.
You wrap your arms around her waist as she grabs the blanket from the other side of the couch, and pulls it over the two of you, making sure you’re completely covered from the neck down before she tightens her arms around you.
“I love you,” you say softly, closing your eyes as you relax to the feeling of Wanda stroking your hair gently as you lay on her chest.
“I love you too, detka. So much,” she says, watching as sleep starts to overcome you due to how exhausted you were from being on call for the past two weeks.
“You know, it’s really not fair,” you mutter sleepily.
“What, me winning over 10 times in a row on the Wii?” she laughs.
“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not fair of you to make me feel this much.”
Wanda responds by kissing your forehead gently, and you burrow deeper into her chest as you fall into a deep slumber.
Wanda smiles, content and so so happy as she watches you, feeling the weight of the ring in her back pocket.
***
It was your one year anniversary, and Wanda had planned a small weekend getaway for the two of you as you had been exhausted due to a bunch of new projects you were taking on.
Wanda was so proud of you, but a lot of the time she felt worried because of how heavy of a workload you were taking on.
You were planning on coming over later tonight, as you had to work extra hours in the hospital.
So, to make you feel better and to let you know about your vacation Wanda made sure wouldn’t interfere with your schedule, she had spent all day cooking you a wonderful 3-course meal which consisted of all of your favorite foods. As well as a large batch of chocolate chip cookies that would last you a solid month so long as you put them in the freezer.
She smiled at the thought of you as she rolled out the homemade pasta she was making you, how you had turned her world upside down as she navigated the unfamiliar territory of being the newest and youngest Avenger, just having you made her feel like she was so much better than before, and Wanda fell so so deeply in love with you and she never wanted to stop.
She wanted to give you the world.
She thought about how kind you were, how you cared so deeply for everyone, always stopping to help wherever and whenever you could. Wanda felt so special to be the partner of someone so undeniably incredible.
Suddenly, the oven beeps, snapping her out of her thoughts as she pulls out the chicken to go along with your pasta, the appetizer of calamari already prepared as it layed on a wire rack, as well as the chocolate chip cookies which she had prepared earlier in the day to make sure she had time to make enough.
Once she finished up, she plated the table for the two of you as she had kicked everyone out for her special dinner with you, wanting you all to herself. She smiled as she lit the candles and set up the plates along with the knives and forks, laying the plate of calamari in the middle as she kept her entree and dessert a secret from you.
Hearing her phone go off, she grins once she sees that you’ve texted that you’ve just arrived.
Taking her apron off as quickly as possible, she rushes downstairs to open the door for you, exhilarated at the thought of seeing you.
Swinging the door open, you smile softly at her while she grins, bursting forward to wrap you in a tight hug.
“Hi,” you laugh, wrapping your arms around her. “Happy anniversary.”
“Can you take a break from doctoring once in a while?” she mutters into your neck.
“I wish,” you say, wrapping your arms tighter around her.
Once she lets go, she grabs your hand to pull you upstairs, excited to surprise you.
“Wanda, what’s the rush?” you ask as you make your way up the stairs.
“I missed you too much, come on!” she says, making you laugh.
Once you finally make it to the top floor, Wanda stops you from walking any further. “Close your eyes,” she says.
You shoot her a look.
“Trust me,” she says, pecking your lips quickly.
Closing your eyes, you say, “What now?”
“Okay, I’m gonna guide you,” she says excitedly as she stands behind you, starting to lead you to the dining room table.
“This is not how I expected our anniversary to go.”
“Just trust me,” Wanda says.
Nodding, you continue to walk in the direction Wanda guides you before she stops you in place.
“Okay, ready?” she says and you nod. “Three, two, one, open your eyes!”
You open your eyes, and they widen in shock as you see the most beautiful candlelit dinner you’ve ever seen in your life.
Wanda has swapped out the regular dining room table for a round one covered in a shiny white tablecloth, as well as swapped out the regular wooden chairs for more expensive looking ones that match the elegance of the table. The plates and utensils are arranged perfectly, along with the restaurant quality napkins that were beautifully folded so they were standing upright, absolutely nothing was out of place, and the calamari in the middle was cooked to perfection, the smell wafting towards you no doubt making you hungry.
It looked like Wanda had taken the appearance of a michelin star restaurant and copied it to perfection right here in the Avengers compound.
But what was even more unbelievable was the string of lights she had arranged all throughout the room, from every nook and cranny, the lights brought a hope to the dinner that nearly brought tears to your eyes at how romantic and calm they made the room feel.
And finally, to top it all off, right in the middle of the array of candles on the table was a large vase of your favorite flowers.
Flowers you had only ever mentioned to her once when she asked you, and you had told her not to worry about it because you could only ever get them in New Zealand.
“What do you think?” she asks, coming up behind you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
You quickly turn to wrap her in a tight hug, squeezing so tightly you’re surprised she can even breathe. “I love you,” you breathe out. “So much.”
Wanda laughs. “Does that mean you like it?” she says teasingly before continuing, “I love you too,” she kisses the crown of your head.
Burrowing deeper into her, you mumble, “I can’t believe...I can’t believe I’m really here.”
You remember how awful you felt 2 years ago, how hopeless you felt. How unworthy you felt. Now, standing here in Wanda’s arms, who you’re still convinced is much too good to be true, feeling so so loved, everything feels surreal.
“I have the same thought about you,” Wanda says, her powers running amok as she accidentally reads your mind again and hears your thoughts about her. “You’re too good. Sometimes I can’t believe you exist.”
“Stop,” you say as your cheeks turn red against her neck.
“Happy anniversary,” she says softly. “I have another surprise for you.”
That makes you look up. “What is it?”
“Join me for dinner and I’ll tell you,” she says cheekily.
“Why can’t you tell me now?” You pout.
“Nice try, but I didn’t spend all day cooking this meal for nothing.” She runs her hands up and down your arms. “Besides, you deserve a nice relaxing dinner after all the work you’ve done the past few weeks.”
You look up at her with a shimmering look in your eyes and a lovesick smile on your face.
“What?” she laughs.
“Just happy,” you reply, kissing her lips.
“You deserve it,” Wanda says easily. “Now come on!”
She leads you over to the table by the hand, pulling out your chair for you as you sit down, planting a quick kiss on your lips before sitting down across from you.
You share countless smiles and laughs as you have the best dinner of your life, zoning out a couple times as Wanda talks and you simply admire her for everything she is.
And as you bite into your chocolate chip cookie after Wanda has revealed the enormous batch she made, she’s telling you what the surprise from earlier was.
“So, I’ve checked your schedule,” she says excitedly. “And since you’re free this weekend I booked us a vacation in Palm Springs! The weather’s perfect, and you’ll finally get to relax after working so hard, plus, they have amazing grass tennis courts and I know you’ve been wanting to get back into playing since you don’t have much time for it anymore–”
“Wanda,” you cut off softly, shaking your head.
You can’t even begin to comprehend that tonight is real at all.
“What?” she asks, looking at you with a smile.
“Every time I start to think you couldn’t get more perfect you just…”
“I get the same feeling about you,” she says, making you blush. “But I’m not perfect.” She takes a hold of both of your hands and rubs her thumbs over the backs softly. “However, I do love you, so much, and I want to show it.”
“Well, you’re perfect for me,” you reply, meeting her gaze and smiling softly as the two of you just stare at each other. But suddenly, it clicks in your head. “How did you know I used to play tennis?”
Wanda blushes before she starts off shyly, “Um, before we started dating I went to your hospital to see if you were there, but you weren’t so I may have asked your oncology friends a couple things about you.”
“So you stalked me?” you tease.
“I couldn’t help it I had a crush on you!” she defends, letting go of your hands and putting her head into her arms. “I still have a crush on you.”
“How embarrassing,” you comment with a chuckle.
“It’s not embarrassing,” she defends as she lifts her head from her arms. “Have you seen how pretty you are?”
You blush, ducking your head down so your hair covers your face slightly. Even after a year of dating Wanda always managed to fluster you to no end.
“Wow, now who’s embarrassed,” Wanda teases back.
“Shut up, I hate you,” you say, embarrassed.
“Wow, that’s not very American of you,” she says with a chuckle.
“Take that back,” you say, lifting your head and narrowing your eyes at her.
“If you say yes to the Palm Springs trip.”
“I thought I already said yes.”
“Not verbally,” she emphasizes.
“I’ll go anywhere you go,” you say easily.
“Cute cop-out, but I need the word yes,” she says, sitting up and kissing your lips quickly before sitting back down.
“Yes,” you relent with a smile. “I’ll go to Palm Springs with you.”
“Good,” she smiles before a mischievous twinkle brings itself out in her eyes. “So I’ll get to watch you play tennis all weekend. I can already imagine how hot that’ll be…”
“Why do you insist on teasing me?”
“‘Cause you look so cute when you’re flustered.”
You shake your head, taking a bite of your chocolate chip cookie to distract yourself from the way Wanda was making you feel.
But instead she decides to mess with you even more, softly saying the words “so american” as she watches you.
And Wanda telling you she loves you made you the most flustered of all.
***
You had gotten Wanda a necklace for your anniversary, and she had gotten you a bracelet with both of your initials on them.
Now, waking up in your hotel in Palm Springs, you smile once you see the bracelet on your wrist. You turn in bed to see if Wanda was there, but you frown once you see the empty spot next to you.
Where was she?
You wonder where she could be, because she would never leave to go to breakfast without you, nor would she head out without telling you where she was going after waking you up with a soft kiss.
You don’t know where she could have gone.
But soon, your question is answered as she enters the room, a large tray of your favorite breakfast foods in her hands as she greets you with a smile.
You tilt your head in confusion.
“Hi,” she says, setting down the tray and kissing you on the lips. “I made you breakfast.”
Your heart flutters and your stomach fills with butterflies. “How did you manage to do this?”
“Turns out that locked room isn’t a closet, but a tiny kitchen,” she explains, pointing to the aforementioned room. “I found out after I woke up early this morning by accident.”
“I missed you,” you say, hugging her side. “Where’d you get the food from?”
“Magic,” she replies easily.
“Oh, right, I forgot I’m dating a witch,” you chuckle, hugging her tighter.
“I’m not a witch,” she says defiantly. “I was voted most powerful Avenger at Tony’s ceremony last year.”
“They’re right,” you say, looking over to the breakfast tray and smiling once you see the gorgeous rose that lays on its side. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not a witch.”
“I’m a not-witch who’s really in love with you.”
“And I’m a not-doctor who’s really in love with you.”
“Well, then we agree to disagree,” she says, putting the tray in front of you, silently telling you to start enjoying your meal.
“Mhm,” you say, eating a forkful of the omelet she had prepared and moaning at the taste. “Where’d you learn to cook?”
“My mother taught me, back in Sokovia,” she says quickly, heat flushing to her cheeks after she hears the sound you had made. Shifting from her position on the bed to move behind you, she gently shifts you forward slightly so she can sit behind you and outstretch her legs as she wraps her arms around your middle.
You lean your head back to rest against her shoulder. “She taught you really well,” you say, closing your eyes.
“Detka, are you gonna fall asleep while eating breakfast?” she laughs.
“No, I’m just savoring this moment,” you reply, kissing her shoulder. “And I want to savor this breakfast too.”
“Yeah? I’m that good?” she says with a chuckle.
“You are,” you say, opening your eyes to look up at her. “In fact, I might marry you right now if you keep this up.”
“I’d do it every day just for you,” she replies, kissing your lips.
And when you smile at her, that beautiful smile that makes Wanda’s heart beat faster than she can comprehend, she seriously considers pulling out the ring from her pocket to propose to you right in your hotel room.
***
“Baby? Wake up,” Wanda whispers, bright and early in the morning on September 8th.
You groan, not wanting to get up.
Wanda laughs. “Come on, it’s your birthday,” she says, kissing you on your forehead.
“Doesn’t that mean I should get to sleep in,” you grumble, burying yourself deeper into the pillows. “Come cuddle with me,” you say, sleepily patting the spot next to you where Wanda had slept last night.
“As much as I would love to, if I cuddle you right now you’re only gonna end up sleeping for another hour. And there’s a bunch of things prepared for your special day,” she says softly.
“Another hour sounds great, thanks,” you mumble as you start to feel yourself drift off.
“No, no, no, come on!” she laughs, gently pulling the blankets off your body.
“It’s cold,” you groan as the air of the room starts to wash over your body.
“Because you and I sleep in negative degrees,” Wanda says teasingly before gently sitting down on your bed to hug you tightly.
After a few minutes, you accept your fate as you sit up with a sigh against the headboard, Wanda letting go of you to grab the glass of water on your nightstand to hand to you.
“Happy birthday,” she says softly as you take a sip of the water and she watches you with a smile.
You kiss her gently. “Thanks.”
“How’d you sleep?” she asks.
“Really well.” You grin. “I got to cuddle with you all night.”
“Last night must have helped too–”
“I will throw this water in your face if you finish that sentence,” you cut her off, starting to blush.
“I wouldn’t mind,” she says with a smirk. “You’re really hot when you’re angry.”
“So, theoretically if I yelled at you, you’d just end up wanting to have sex?”
“First,” she says. “You would never yell at me.” You give her a look, and she just smiles smugly because she knows she’s right. You were way too nice to ever yell at anyone. Even animals. “And second, yes, that’s usually how that works.”
“You’re a middle school boy,” you say with a shake of your head.
Wanda just smiles before kissing you deeply. “Can’t help it.” She brushes a strand of hair away from your face. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” you say back.
Wanda grins. “Ready for your birthday?” she asks, standing up from the bed and holding out her hand for you to take.
You nod, smiling as you take it and stand up, kissing her quickly before she starts to take you through the day she had planned.
And when you’re back, cutting into your birthday cake to hand out to the team members (Natasha was on a mission in Africa) which Wanda had baked, you’re back after a sunrise picnic full of your favorite foods, a relaxing walk across the beach, lunch at your favorite diner, a tour of your favorite locations in New York City as well as somehow meeting your favorite tennis player on the Arthur Ashe stadium of the US Open (you have absolutely no clue how Wanda pulled that off), you turn to your incredible girlfriend, who’s already staring at you with an adoring gaze in her eyes.
Softly, you say, “I’m so in love with you.”
You never knew your heart could ever feel this full.
“I’m so in love with you too,” she replies, kissing you in the most gentle way yet somehow still communicating the deepest sense of passion. “Happy 24th, detka.”
You want to cry, you want to cry the happiest tears of your life because, god, you have no idea how you got so lucky to have this woman in your life.
But instead, you kiss her on the lips, hoping it says everything you need to.
And Wanda knows exactly what you’re saying.
***
“Oh, my god, what if it’s too much!” you ramble to Yelena as you pace back and forth in your apartment back home.
“You’ve been dating her for 4 years, you idiot,” Yelena replies, rolling her eyes.
“Exactly! What if this is like a 5-year thing, or 7 years– Or, god, I don’t know!”
“Y/N,” she says, grabbing your attention. “Listen, this is ridiculous. That girl is so disgustingly in love with you, you could tell her you’ve hated her all this time and she would still think you gave her the sun or something.”
You frown. “I could never hate Wanda.”
“God, you two are insufferable,” Yelena sighs.
But Yelena’s secretly so happy to see that you’ve finally found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
“Hey!”
“For God’s sake, just go tell her you don’t like ravioli.”
“It’s her favorite food! We eat it every Thursday just for her!”
“It’s actually you who’s her favorite food.”
“What? Yelena, I swear–”
Later that day, Wanda accepts your revelation with a smile on her face and a kiss on your cheek.
***
“Wanda,” you say softly as you two walk hand-in-hand through the streets of New York.
“Yeah?” she says, turning to face you with a small smile.
“So, I don’t want to assume this,” you pause, fidgeting with your fingers nervously. “But, will you go out to dinner with me?”
Wanda grins. “We’ve been dating for four years and you don’t want to assume that I’ll go to dinner with you?”
“Well, you might be busy!” you defend.
Wanda laughs. “I’m never too busy for you, milaya.”
“You’re just saying that. What if there’s a criminal who shows up out of the blue and you’re needed for superhero business or something…”
“Then we’ll reschedule,” Wanda says, shrugging. “And I’ll make sure I always have time for you.”
You bite your lip anxiously. “What if…what if you don’t come back one day?” your voice trembles.
“Oh, baby,” Wanda says, hugging you. “I’ll always come back to you.”
“You can’t know that,” you mumble into her shirt.
“But I do,” she says, holding you by your shoulders and pulling away slightly. “Because you’re worth every bit fighting for, and I’ll always make sure that I keep fighting until I see your face again.”
Wanda frowns as she watches the tears roll down your cheeks.
Wiping them away with her thumb, she says softly, “I love you. I’ll always come back to the person I love most in the world.”
“I love you too,” you reply, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she tells you. “I’m always happy to care for you.”
“I’m really hopelessly in love with you,” you say quietly only for Wanda to hear.
“The feeling’s mutual, detka.”
***
Wanda was going to propose to you tonight.
It was almost Christmas, which she had found out in your first year of dating was your favorite time of year (besides her birthday or your guys’ anniversary) because it made you feel like you belonged somewhere.
Wanda smiled while she watched you from the couch, biting the nail of your thumb as you thought carefully of which ornament to put next on the Christmas tree.
She was so in love with you, your work ethic, how much you cared for her, how loved you made her feel. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with you.
“Wanda?” you ask, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Yeah, detka?” she replies, looking over at you.
You point to the box of blue and silver ornaments by her feet. “Can you pass me the silver one shaped like a Christmas tree?”
Nodding, she grabs the ornament from the box and makes her way over to you, hugging you from behind as you placed it carefully on the branch only a little bit taller than you.
“How does it look?” you ask with a smile, turning your head slightly to kiss her on the cheek.
“Even better than last year,” she replies, squeezing you tighter.
If someone didn’t stop her soon, she was going to propose to you right then and there.
In order to stop herself, she clears her throat and steps back from you a bit, letting go, hoping you don’t notice her actions.
However, you know her too well, and you turn to look at her with a small furrow of your brows.
Wanda gives an awkward smile. “Um, I’m gonna get started on the cookies,” she says, pointing towards the kitchen.
“Okay,” you say slowly.
Wanda nods, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving you to head towards the previously mentioned room.
Once Wanda’s in the kitchen, she lets out a sigh, wondering how she was going to get through the day without breaking down due to her nerves. Wanda checked her back pocket, making sure the ring was still there, and felt a sense of relief once she felt it’s black box.
She had it planned perfectly. After tonight’s holiday party with the team (which she had exclusively made sure Natasha could not make it), she was going to take you to the coffee shop where you two had first met, then she was going to take you to Shakespeare’s garden where you two had first admitted you loved each other, and she was going to officially propose to you at the firework show she had begged Tony to help her host.
Everything had to be perfect.
“Wanda?” you startled her out of her thoughts as you knocked on the doorway. Furrowing your brows, you ask, “are you alright?”
“What? Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine…” Wanda replies awkwardly, looking down at her feet and shifting awkwardly.
You laugh slightly, “Baby, you haven’t even started on the cookies.” You walk over to her, seeing nothing but two eggs on the counter in front of her and nothing else.
Wanda gulps slightly at your close proximity. How stupid that she had been dating you for 6 years yet you still made her feel like a teenager in high school. “I did…” she says weakly.
“Oh yeah?” you tease. “How delicious if we left out two eggs with milk for Old St. Nick?” You pick up an egg between your fingers to show her.
“It’ll give him something new to try,” Wanda shrugs.
Sighing, you put the egg down, and cup your girlfriend’s cheeks in your hands, rubbing your thumbs over them. “What’s going on?” you say gently.
“Just nervous,” Wanda admits.
“Nervous for what?” you ask, brushing a tendril of hair away from her face.
“You make me nervous,” Wanda says, relenting as she rests her forehead on your shoulder. “You’re so perfect,” she mumbles into your shirt.
Your heart feels like it might explode. “I don’t understand,” you say as you shake your head. “How are you the nervous one yet somehow you still make me feel like I’m gonna burst with happiness?”
Wanda smiles against your shirt. “It’s ‘cause I love you.”
“And I love you,” you reply.
“You know, we still have about 2 hours until Tony’s party…” she says suggestively, starting to kiss her way up your neck.
“More than enough time for you to help me finish the tree,” you say lightheartedly.
Wanda groans. “I hate you.”
“Too late, you’re stuck with me already.” You grin as you grab her hand and lead her into the living room, the cookies unspokenly abandoned.
Little did you know, Wanda wanted nothing more than to be stuck with you for the rest of her life.
And tonight, she was going to make it official.
***
“Why the fuck is it so cold,” Wanda muttered, rubbing her bare arms to warm herself up, before intertwining your hands once again. “It’s way colder than the temperature you and I sleep in.”
“Because Pepper’s here,” you say easily. “And Tony turns the place into an ice box just for her.”
“Can’t he just invite some sort of nano-machine that keeps it cold for her all the time? He’s got the money,” Wanda says bitterly.
You chuckle. “Come on, grumpy,” you start to pull her onto the dance floor. “This ought to warm you up.”
Wanda accepts as you wrap your arms around her shoulders and she wraps hers around your waist, the two of you becoming lost in your own little world as you admire one another in your respective dresses.
“You look so pretty,” she tells you, awestruck at your beauty.
“So do you,” you say, taking her in before resting your head on her shoulder, swaying as the two of you try to stay as close as you possibly can.
Wanda closes her eyes as she rests her cheek on the crown of your head, feeling so content with you in her arms.
“When did you first know?” you whisper next to her ear.
“When you made that stupid pun,” Wanda says, and she giggles once she hears you groan in embarrassment.
“That’s the worst one you could’ve said,” you say, lifting your head up from her shoulder to meet her gaze.
“Can’t help it,” she says, kissing you quickly. “It was so adorable.”
“I still think it’s insane that you actually find me funny,” you shake your head.
“I’ll laugh at all your jokes,” she replies easily. “It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.”
“Are all Sokovians this romantic?”
“Are all Americans this incredible?”
You both grin stupidly at each other before the two of you can’t take it and kiss each other deeply, pouring every ounce of love you feel for one another.
“Nope,” Wanda says as she pulls away. “Just my so American girlfriend.”
You smile, kissing her again, and again, and again.
And Wanda thinks it wasn’t fair of you either, to make her feel this much.
***
“Wanda, where are we going?” you laugh as she pulls you through the streets of New York.
“I need to show you something, come on!” she says, stopping once you realize where she’s brought the two of you.
The coffee shop where you first met.
“What are we doing here?” you ask, unable to stop the cheesy grin that makes its way onto your face.
“It’s a surprise, come on,” she replies, opening the door for you and letting you in. Once she shuts the door behind her, you turn, and your eyes soften once you see the shiny look in her eyes. “I’m taking you on a tour,” she says, guiding you to the back table where you two had first spoken.
“A tour of what?” you say, smiling as you follow her.
“A tour of how much I love you.”
And Wanda only falls deeper and deeper in love once she sees the happy tears in your eyes when she reveals your coffee cup from when the two of you had first met, which she had kept all this time.
***
“No way,” you say with awe as your next stop comes into your line of sight, the coffee cup held safely in your hand at your side.
“And I re-made the batch of cookies we shared that day,” Wanda said, pulling a tupperware of cookies from behind her back as you follow her onto the bridge of Shakespeare’s garden.
“What made you do all this?” you ask, shaking your head in disbelief as you come up to her to wrap your arms around her shoulders.
“It’s a surprise,” she replies, kissing you. “But for now, I want you to know how much you mean to me.”
“I do,” you say easily. “Every day.”
“Good,” Wanda grins. “And I’m gonna keep showing you.”
***
Wanda might not even propose tonight.
In fact, she doesn’t know if she’ll even remember as she’s lost in awe at how beautiful you look under the stars, holding the rail that separates you from the body of water in front of you while standing on top of a craggly rock, the booming fireworks causing your eyes to shine in a way that makes Wanda want to capture this moment forever.
But, she’s on a mission.
And when it came to you, Wanda always put her best foot forward.
“They’re so beautiful,” you say, completely in awe as you watch the colors explode in the sky.
“Just like you,” Wanda says softly.
“You know, I still really want to know why you did all this,” you say, turning to her and smiling once you see her already watching you. “I didn’t miss any special date, did I?”
“Of course you didn’t, your google calendar is already filled to the brim,” she replies with a teasing roll of her eyes.
“Well, if I didn’t have everything booked then you would forget all of your check-up appointments with your doctor,” you reply cheekily.
“You’re already a doctor.”
“Not the right kind of doctor.”
“You’re actually exactly my kind of doctor,” Wanda flirts, making you blush.
“I hate you. That was awful,” you say as you turn away.
And as you watch the fireworks in the sky once again, Wanda decides, now’s the time.
Taking a deep breath and swallowing her nerves, she gets down on one knee.
Then, almost robotically, she pulls out the ring, opening the box slowly, as if any sudden movement would cause the whole thing to shatter.
She just needed you to turn her way.
To turn your head slightly and see her message for you.
I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.
It feels as if time has stopped.
All she feels is the beating of her heart through her chest, the blood pounding in her ears, and her nerves washing over her over and over again– and all she needs is for you to look.
It feels like hours before you–
Then, you do.
And it’s slow, and careful, and gentle, and so you.
You gasp.
And Wanda shakily breathes out, “Will you marry me, detka?”
Both of your hands cover your mouth, and tears build in your eyes.
And Wanda feels the happiest she has ever felt–
When you croak out a yes.
Wanda wants to keep this moment forever. She wants to remember how full her heart feels when she slips the ring onto your finger. The feel of your lips on her own when you kiss her hard through both of your tears and your laughs of disbelief.
It’s the happiest day of her life.
And it’s the happiest day of yours, too.
***
“I’m so, so, in love with you,” you say as the two of you walk back to your shared home, wrapped in each other’s arms.
“I’m so in love with you too, detka,” Wanda replies, kissing your temple as she holds you close.
“When you were a kid, did you ever think you were going to have an American girlfriend?” you chuckle.
“I never did,” Wanda admits with a smile. “But I couldn’t be happier that I ended up with a beautiful, so American fiancée.”
You blush at the new title, hiding your reddening face in your fiancée’s neck. “Tonight doesn’t even feel real,” you mumble after a moment.
Wanda laughs slightly. “Yeah, I know the feeling.”
Suddenly, out of curiosity, you ask, “When did you buy that ring?”
“A week after we started dating,” Wanda says resolutely.
“What?” Your head snaps up from her neck.
“I just knew,” Wanda says, kissing the tip of your nose. “I knew you were going to be my wife.”
“That’s…” you shake your head in disbelief. “Wow.”
Wanda pulls you closer to her. “It was the easiest thing I’ve ever known. Wanna know why?”
“Why?” you ask.
“Because, from the first day I met you, I knew, you were everything to me. And you still are.”
Your eyes start to water. “I’m everything to you?”
“You are,” Wanda nods, kissing the crown of your head with so much tenderness it makes you want to cry.
But, you don’t start to cry because of the kiss.
And you don’t start to cry out of joy although you really, really want to.
No. The tears finally escape your eyes as you realize that you finally have everything you’ve ever wanted.
That you’re finally, finally everything to somebody else.
“You’re everything to me too.”
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wandamaximoff#wanda maximoff fluff#marvel mcu#mcu#wanda x you#wanda x y/n#wanda marvel#wanda imagine#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#wlw post
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can you explain family abolition in a few words?
sure. there is no one unitary 'family abolitionist' perspective so be aware that i'm explaining this as a marxist and not as an anarchist or a radical feminist.
basically, "the family" is a social construct rather than a fixed self-evident truth. the family has been created and can be shaped, altered, or--indeed--abolished. this is evinced by the broad anthropological and historical record of radical transformations in what constitutes 'the family' (cf. clans, the extended family, the nuclear family). viewing the family as such opens it up to critique and also to the concept that it could be replaced with something better (in much the same way that, for communist and anarchist, refusing to accept the timelessness / naturalization of the bourgeois state opens up new horizons of political thought outside of engagement with electoral politics.)
among these critiques of the family are:
that it is a tool of patriarchal control over women and children by creating an economic dependence upon spouses / parents
ergo, that it enables and causes 'abuse' -- that child abuse, spousal abuse, and intimate partner violence are not abberations of 'the family' but in fact a natural consequence of its base premises re: power and control
that it serves as a site of invisiblised economic labour (e.g. housework)
that it is a tool of the capitalist (formerly the feudal) economy's reproduction of inequality via e.g. inheritance laws
that it serves as a site of normalization and reproduction of hegemonic ideology--i.e. that it is the site where heteronormativity, cisnormativity, gender roles, class positionality, & more are ingrained in children
among solutions family abolitionists propose to remedy it are:
the total dissolution of any legal privilege conferred by romantic or blood relationship in favour of total freedom for any group of people to form a household and cohabitate
the recognition of housework, the work of childrearing, & the general tasks of social reproduction as 'real' labour to be distributed fairly and not according to formal or informal (feminized) hierarchies
the economic and legal freedom of children--(i.e., allowing children unconditional access to food and shelter outside 'the family', allowing children the legal right to informed consent and self-determination)
similarly, the emancipation of women from economic dependence on their partners--both of these can only really be achieved via socialism (as marx put it, 'women in the workplace' only trade patriarchal dependence upon a husband for patriarchal dependence upon an employer)
communal caretaking of children, the sick, & the elderly
yeah. i know. this is a lot of words. its not few words. sorry. it's a complex topic innit. this is a few words For Me consideri ng that i've got a long-ass google doc open where i'm writing up a whole damn essay on this exact topic.
tldr: the family is not inevitable, it is constructed & can be replaced with something better. full economic freedom from dependence on interpersonal familial relationships for everybody now. check out cuba's 2022 family code for an idea of what this could look like as practical legislation.
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the sense of having any lore about the ancient [ten to thirteen years ago] of marble hornets times like granpa granpa tell us a greentext story....the only hitch is not having stories and instead having "i guess you had to be there" tales from the fringes, unless instead of a hitch you frame this as a bit
#like what's crucial info from then? who knows. smthing neat abt mh is its iterative resurgences apparently lol. got a wavelength#from the start it was always [queer fans queer fans trans fans trans fans] etc to be sure#by ''thee start'' i mean i showed up a couple of months? weeks? before s2 started. i think amnesia: the dark descent was partly to thank to#i mean of course it is in all things no matter the topic. and i feel manesia the dark manscent in this chili's tonight#one of the more [umm] first true spikes in New Ppl was when that game with the pages got streamed a lot#not a lot to work with there re: [you are already at mh hq] but brought ppl in like umm yea it's a little youtube movie here....#Back In Those Days...when youtube had a Reply feature for videos which i would have forgotten was anything if not for tta really....#the saga of [we didn't have any crisp behind the scenes pics of tim's mask for a while so deciding what its design seemed to be was tricky]#or [lucky that alex's striped hoody had both the inner seam highlights & the patch on the waistband] re: identifying it....#the hoody was already Out Of Production lol the base masks were from michael's crafts which i hear has recently discontinued them; pensive#paper mache cosplays here we go....#anyways nothing makes a good story. one time i sprinted to beat everyone on unfiction to solve a scrambled dvd cover#i managed to post it first (here on tumblr) And Then on unfiction; where it was also first lol. this was ignored#(one reply did a nominal shoutout like ''[other user] and others'' lmao)#i blog to this day....where's unfiction (rhetorical)#they were great for crowdsourcing codes but the Analysis(tm) left many things to be desired (i mean on tumblr too sometimes of Course)#unfiction would be like ''why is this entry delayed [thinking emoji]'' & truly the answer like ''they explained the behind the scenes reaso#in this linked facebook post here (the funy saga of joseph losing the distinctive out of print hoodie before its Part Two appearance)''#and the unfiction thread would continue apace like ''hmm guess we'll never know'' yeah apparently not#unsurprisingly my best Retro Tales From Behind The Scenes would be like; that fun mh viewing party commentary bit live event....#that there was overlap w/my first coming out transly times & probably had my Best Experience w/that from the mh creators lol#that thesis simply Is the tale. the bit abides
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reputation - lando norris
pop star reader x lando norris social media au
part two - part three
a/n: lando did a very reputation-like helmet and the hamster in my brain started working. rep's songs are also very lando coded to me. faceclaim is soyeon from (G)I-dle
requests are open, but i may get to them late because uni is kicking my ass!
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f1waggossip
f1waggossip: McLaren’s golden boy seems to be newly single… at least that’s what the streets say, considering his last girlfriend, pop star Y/N L/N, has not been seen in months at the paddock following a very public fall out with her former girl squad, and consequent fall from grace from everyone’s eyes. They seemed in love. What do you think?
landonorrizz: honestly, i never understood the hype for her. she has always been a red flag and dramatic!!
mercedesgarage: i don’t get it lol i don’t follow her, what happened?
455chilli: basically she was friends with other singers, models and actresses and they have recently unfollowed her and exposed her for not being as great as everyone thinks
y/nforever: you mean she had a friend group who turned on her out of nowhere? lol what her ex friends have said is based on jealousy
landostareyes: it seems like they broke up but they were really cute together :// i kinda feel bad but she also seems to be the problem
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landonorris
landonorris: p2 cake babyyyyyyyyy
supremey/n: that is my y/n if i’ve ever seen her
formulaonegirl: so they’re still together
carlandocontent: it could be any girl tbh, it’s been months since lando has even mentioned her
papayaheart: it’s even worse if they’re still together and she just won’t show up to support him in races anymore lol
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y/nusername
y/nusername: Reputation. Out November 17.
Comments have been disabled.
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landonorris
landonorris: Are you ready for it? Reputation out November 17.
y/nlandodefender: nothing has ever been as iconic as a Y/N comeback special helmet i am in tears
landolove: reputation helmet to beat the breakup allegations wasn’t on my bingo card
supremey/n: I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT
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f1waggossip
f1waggossip: Y/N re-debuts at the paddock.
y/naura: ohhhhhhh i know some of y'all are MAD but my girl will stay thriving with the album of the year
softlylando: came back with a bang, goddamnnnn
mclarengirly: lando is definitely bagging a podium for her today!!
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landonorris
landonorris: i like her for her
y/nusername: Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me. 🖤
ferrariheart: shut up this is so cute
norrisreputation: mans really said we've been together all this time LMAO
babyfaceoscar: where is everyone who was calling her a red flag and saying her and lando didn't belong together?
dailylando: been real quiet since reputation dropped
magicy/n: i woulda stfu too after she released something like call it what you want, nevermind lando's promotion helmet LMAO
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y/nusername
y/nusername: The Reputation World Tour officially began and I can’t thank you enough for showing up for me, when I thought I couldn’t even show up for myself. I might make the same mistakes, burn bridges and never learn, but I know I did one thing right: have the best, most loyal fans. Also, it seems right to thank the man who inspired me to write way too many love songs for this album, the king of my heart, landonorris. 🖤
landonorris: i believe i was also called gorgeous and stuff
y/nusername: I am truly never complimenting you again
#f1#f1 au#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1#lando norris#lando norris smau#lando norris fluff#lando norris x you#lando norris fic#lando norris imagine#lando norris au#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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