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lgcseojin · 5 months

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✱ SEOJIN'S JOURNAL ( 2006 - current )

This journal is property of Park Seojin. It contains sensitive topics and precious thoughts. If you find this, don't open it or else he'll come find you and take you to Suplex City! Go away.

Septembur September, 2006 The therapy lady said if I pretend I'm talking to God then I can write eeeasier. I dunno. Don't wanna talk to you right now buddy. Cuz somtymes sometimes I kinda wish you didn't make me so I'm upset at you. And I hate cake and I don't wanna blow out anymore stupid candelsles. It just makes me feel real mad. Speshully Especially when Miss Heejung tries to give me hugs. I don't want none of that I just wanna go back to my friends somtimes.

November 30th, 2006 Mr Dongwoo Dad said that the baby is gonna come any day now. I'm gonna be mad if the kid is born on my birthday no way am I gonna share. It's my day!! I want somethin that's mine.

December 25th, 2006 Didn't write in this thing cuz I forgot. Anyway. Christmas is real fun. I got an RC racer thing!!!!! It goes so fast hahahah!!

January 15th, 2007 The baby was really late. They called her Dahye. She looked at me kinda funny but she didn't cry when I hugged her.

September 3rd, 2007 I got moved to a different class and stuff. I wanna throw books cuz now I'm not with my friends. But the teach said we were dissruptin class or whatever. I get to sit next to a girl now and she stuck her tongue out at me so I stuck out my middle finger. Her name is Boram.

March 14th, 2008 Girls are weird. I gave Boram my chocolates cuz she gave me some and then she said she was gonna throw em in the toilet. Whatever. I didn't like her anyways.

May 21st, 2009 Hahahah!!! Jaehyuk hyung came to school today and brought a real lizard. Yep it was real I checked and everything. Haesung said we should dissect it but we were like no way. I wanna make it my pet. It looks so sick! Not sick sick but cool

June 17th, 2009 I bought a guitar!!!

November 27th, 2009 A weird lady said hi to me when I was walking home. She had really long hair and a funny smile. She looked real sick (the real kind) and said my name. Maybe she's one of them no homes people or a ghost or somethin

November 29th, 2009 The weird lady tried to give me a bag of chips and grab my hand. Did she think I was 5 years old or somethin. That shit don't work on 11 year olds. So I ran away real fast. Skinned my knee. It fuckin hurt.

December 1st, 2009 Stuff sucks real bad right now. I'm real sorry God. I don't wanna go back no more. I just wanna stay here now. I'm sorry.

December 1st, 2010 She called again. I can't have one day.

December 1st, 2011 Sorry I keep ignoring you. Lotsa shit is happening lately. That lady hasn't even read this since like 2 years ago. Why do I even bother? How did I do it again? Hi, God? Haha. I'm good, I guess. Bored right now. Eating some kinda bread dad bought in Japan. Way too sweet but whatever. Birthday went okay. They gave me a party and it wasn't anything special I guess.

January 20th, 2013 Got nothing else to do so I'm gonna write in this again. Fuck this city. Fuck everything. I don't wanna move and leave everyone behind. This sucks so fucking much. Seoul seems like it sucks anyway. But at least Jaehyuk is there... Ugh nevermind. It makes feel sick to write while the car's moving all over the place, and Dahye won't stop pinching me. I'm gonna give this kid a headlock.

April 30th, 2013 Some kid almost ran me over with his bike so I grabbed it and he fell on me. Buncha stolen shit fell outta his jacket and everything. Hahaha. He begged me not to tell anyone. I think he's a grade below me even though he said he's like 13 I think. Seems real smart. Name is Cheol... something. I guess he's ok when we started to talk but if he runs me over again I'm gonna pummel him for sure.

August 2nd, 2013 Mom had the baby today. The kid is real cute and she grabbed my finger super tight. I'm gonna be honest. I kinda felt like crying and stuff. She's real cute, Dasom. I wanna protect her.

October 12th, 2013 Jaehyuk wants to start a band or whatever. Know I never mentioned it before but I kinda like to sing and I know how to play guitar. I'll give it a shot. He introduced me to some guy named Taewoo from another school and I asked Cheol if he wanted to join, too. Here goes nothing I guess.

February 23rd, 2015 I asked Minkyung out. I know you don't know who that is yet, God. Sorry about that. I was being an idiot just being in my head instead. She's in the same class as me. She's got short hair like to her neck kinda length. It's really funny. The class was playing soccer and she kicked the ball at my head. She seemed real scared about it and she came over to check on me and grabbed my face. That's what it's like to fall in love right??

July 9th, 2016 Long time no see, huh? Lots of good news happened so far. Well, kinda. First, I'm still going out with Minkyung. :) Second, I entered a singing contest and I got 3rd place, so a guy with a card came up to us and all. He was from a company... entertainment company. Legacy or something. Well, I auditioned and made it. Cool, right? Weird, though... Didn't think this could be a thing for me. Well, I'm gonna mooch these vocal lessons and see what happens I guess. Taewoo won't stop calling me a fucking sell-out though. Bastard. Anyway... the next news is awkward kinda. Mom and dad decided to foster this kid. He's like 12 or 13 or something and he's already getting on my nerves... Feel bad for him though. I know what it's like.

June 14th, 2017 Shit sucks. What a joke. See if those fuckers mess with Hyunseung again. I'd kick their asses all over again until they leave him alone.

December 2nd, 2017 She called me again. I don't get why she just won't leave me the hell alone. I can't do this shit. I don't care if I'm her "real son". Why did she have to find me? You left me there for like almost 7 years and now you wanna keep trying.

March 1st, 2018 I decided to start over. It's for the best, probably. Dim is over. I left the company. Me and Minkyung decided it would be better if we broke up. I couldn't even look at her anymore after I went off the deep end and didn't wanna be around anybody for a while. It was like shit was falling apart and I didn't wanna be like that and hurt her. Then have to leave her. And the guys. I feel like shit. I don't even know if this is the right choice. I'm taking you with me. There's still a lot of space to fill.

March 28th, 2018 It's the fifth day of basics. A week in and I've got some smart idea to start a journal. Apparently it's supposed to be "good" for me as an outlet but like... For all I know, some guy will take it, read it, and make fun of me. Whatever. This is stupid. The food sucks.

March 30th, 2018 Guy named Jung Woobin joined today. Kind of a nerd, but he's in my temporary unit and the bed next to mine. Might as well make friends. He keeps talking about random shit. Maybe I can see if he likes Slam Dunk. Well, I'm not here to make friends anyways, am I? Nothing else interesting happened. Entries are gonna be short till something interesting happens.

April 5th, 2018 Week two. Not hype. Hate waking up fucking early. This sucks ass. Some guy lost his shit and ran off in some random direction. They labeled him as a deserter. Feel kinda bad for him. Just glad he wasn't in my unit.

April 8th, 2018 New recruits came. There was overflow in bunking so they stuck a guy with us. I get a chaebol smell off of him but he seems alright so far. Let's see how he does during the first week.

April 21st, 2018 I'm tired of this Kang dude. Nearly kicked his ass before we got stopped. What a prick. He snores when he sleeps, too. I'm gonna plug his nostrils.

May 1st, 2018 Transfer to marines unit today. Off to Pohang. Wish me luck.

July 30th, 2018 Finally got time to sit down and write. Shit's been intense. The C.O. is no fucking stickler. He makes our squad wake up up to an hour earlier than the others. Set our alarms as the wake up song that blasts outside. Today, I swear we got to bed at midnight and got up at 3:30am. Wanted us to get our rounds done early so we can get a head start into the MMA training so we're in top shape. Tomorrow, our platoon is supposed to meet with the American marines that are stationed here, too.

October 10th, 2018 My English isn't that great but I kinda talked to this guy and we became friends. Tall, wavy hair, super ripped. Said his name is Andreas like the fault line but I dunno what that means, really. I can just call him Andy, he calls me Jin. His Korean is pretty good, actually. Hahaha.

October 11th, 2018 We sat by the river when everything is done and he and his friend taught me how to skin a rabbit. Then, the guy said he was gonna go rock fishing ( I think, I couldn't get his accent but I think he was from Australia or something ) and pulled a catfish with his bare hands. I'm serious! Wish I coulda taken a picture...

October 14th, 2018 It's the last day of the collab camp thing. Andy gave me a book. D'Aulaires' Book of Greek Myths. I guess I should get better at English... But he said he's staying in Seoul after this. And his dad's got a boxing gym or something. Once I'm out, I'll check it out.

December 1st, 2018 They remembered my birthday. Never thought I'd get a Chocopie with a candle sticking out of it. Whatever works. I don't like sweets anyway and it's cold as balls.

February 13th, 2019 I'm on break for seollal! Came back home for a bit to see everyone. I know I saw them in between but still... This is nice. Chan must've gotten real tall over the summer. Dasom ran up to me and hugged me real tight. As for Dahye, she shook my hand. What a weird kid. I missed them so much. Gonna go spend time with them now. I won't forget you at home. Promise.

March 26th, 2019 A new guy joined us today. Real jumpy, that one. Said he got transferred to our unit for some reason he won't say. Rumor is that he tried to kill some guy and he's in a gang back in Daejeon. I don't believe it for a second. What a stupid story.

April 3rd, 2019 Caught Lcpl. Shin creeping around the place after dark not in his bunk. I got up to take a piss and he almost scared it right outta me. This is like the 2nd time this happened. Since our ranks are the same there's not much I can do. Should I tell the C.O.? Shit, why am I asking you? I don't think you would know what to do either.

April 17th, 2019 Fuck it, we finally ratted on the guy. The hell is he doing lurking around the latrines all the time... Must be some kinda weirdo. I guess that's why he was transferred. Shoulda kicked him out instead. Woobin said he saw him with a knife when he got out so I dunno what to think anymore. Lt said it isn't a big deal. That the guy's gotta be touched in the head, whatever that means.

April 22nd, 2019 Something or some dipshit keeps knocking on the barracks again. Can't fucking sleep. Shit sucks.

May 24th, 2019 Things were quiet for a while. There was a weird smell coming from the latrines and it wasn't cause of the crap they serves us. Found a dead bird strung up with shoelaces. Can't eat tonight.

May 28th, 2019 Can't sleep. Knocking again. The alarms went off. Glitch, I guess.

May 31st, 2019 Some shit went down. Two of the guys started wailing on each other outta nowhere. Screaming real loud about something. I didn't really bother trying to figure it out when we got them off each other. They were reprimanded. Only 9 of us, so this shit really stirred things up. Must have been some kinda disagreement. But everyone's fucking tired. Climbing drills are tomorrow.

June 1st, 2019 The ropes were cut. Or frayed. Or old, or something. It's my fault, isn't it? If I didn't pull so hard then Hwang wouldn't have fallen. Everything's okay. He said it wasn't cause of me. They took him out for a short medical leave. Hope he's okay. But I'm still shaking. I'd only tell you this kinda stuff, God.

June 5th, 2019 There's only 6 of us right now in the unit right now until the others get back. Feels real quiet right about now. No one really wanted to talk. Least, not to me. I still got Woobin but he seems like something's real wrong. Shin's got the world under his feet, though, the way he's strutting everywhere. Kept trying to show me his rabbit pelt. Freak.

July 7th, 2019 That fucking knocking again. A slam. Piss off so I can sleep already.

July 19th, 2019 It's raining. Real hard. Had to go fix something and found Shin out there doing... something. Whatever it is, he didn't like that I caught him and fuck I don't know what to do. It can't have been something bad, right? I didn't really see. It was dark.

July 23rd, 2019 I'm gonna kill that piece of shit. What kinda asshole takes a picture of my mom and just. He's dead. Next week. Mark my words, God. I'm confessing ahead of time if something happens. I'm kicking his ass when he comes around.

July 29th, 2019 The fucker still lives. Unfortunately. Opened my eyes and saw him hovering over my bunk. I swear. I saw it. How long was he standing there? How many days? Shouldn't think too much of it...

August 2nd, 2019 I looked over and he was just sitting up in bed like that. Awake. I don't think he ever sleeps, come to think of it. Woobin said the same thing. I started to keep my knife with my under my pillow.

September 6th, 2019 We woke up and Shin was gone from his bed. Nothing from the usual. C.O. came in and told us the military officers came and got him. Said what happened stays with us. They're making Woobin testify but he won't tell me what happened. Guess I'll never really find out. Gotta keep an eye on the news maybe later. Feel like I need to take 8 showers though. Maybe 10. Hopefully there won't be too much to write about now.

September 30th, 2019 Holy shit. Just a little bit longer and I'll be outta here. Sgt. Park speaking. Cool, right? I should have something positive here after all that. Everything seems like it's okay again. I think. I guess I thought about it a little more... All sorta guys come through here and you never know who's gonna end up being totally insane. I left out some details but, God, I'm sure you saw what happened anyways.

October 15th, 2019 One more month! I get to lead new recruits today. I asked Woobin to help and he still almost passed out running with us. Guess some guys really don't get that fit here, haha. Here's hoping we can still be friends when we leave. He's outta here next week... Gonna miss him something awful.

November 10th, 2019 I'm free!!! Gonna stay with the family again for a bit until we get my place figured out. Don't really plan on going to school or anything, but dad helped me find a job at some restaurant. I gotta go to Gangnam for it since it's all ritzy but it pays well. I'm kinda excited. Really feels like I started over again... Also, went to the bar still in my fatigues ( yeah, I know, I was lazy ). Craziest thing, the people you meet again. Some guy in uniform, another in a sparkly jacket. Funny where we end up.

December 2nd, 2019 Saw the guys yesterday. We got super smashed and they said I climbed a tree. Wait. Why am I still writing? Nothing interesting is going on. Let's not make this a habit.

January 8th, 2020 Nevermind. Something kinda crazy happened. Went to Vampire Den for the open mic night again. Just to sing. I got that card again. This shiny one. I guess I must have been outta my mind and had it in me to go for an audition. It was worth a shot. I'm almost at the limit they accept trainees. Fuck what am I doing? Shit.

January 9th, 2020 The call came. I made it. They said I gotta move into the dorms now. At least I got a couple months to myself.

January 20th, 2020 Shit man. So many kids around... This kid ( had a real unique name ) I'm roommates with said that he's graduating high school soon. Crazy... I think I'm in way over my head if this is how things are gonna be, but fuck it, right? At least I can still keep my job. Guess I'll just start making some friends around here. There's plenty of guys my age. Yushin's even here, too. Well, anyway. I don't gotta keep writing in this right now so see you later.

July 24th, 2020 Hey guess who's gonna be in a band again? Well kinda. It's still a bunch of practicing. We'll see what happens but I'm feeling optimistic, I think.

April 21st, 2021 This just in for another episode of Shit Sucks... They pulled the band stuff. I guess there weren't gonna be enough resources for it. Dunno what to do now. Feels like everything's crumbling apart around me. I can just hide away in my room for the rest of the year, right? Just not sure what they're gonna do with me now. Gotta get better at dancing. I'll do it later.

May 23rd, 2021 Shit just keeps happening. I saw her with someone else. I don't want an explanation. I'm tired of this push and pull shit. Going here and there without saying much. She lit my heart on fire and put it out with her fucking shoe. I loved her. At least, I think I did. I guess that doesn't matter now. Nothing should have come from that day and why did I even bother going through with it. Over and over again. Wasted my own heart. Nothing matters anymore, does it? Fuck it all. I should go somewhere. Don't look now, God.

August 17th, 2021 I guess some okay things can happen. But these blind dates the guys keep trying to set me up on are a waste of time. Better to not put in effort like that. Anyway, dad's heart thing has gotten better, too. He wanted me to start picking up his new medicine after practice every day.

September 19th, 2021 It's hard to want to sing again. Or want to do much of anything again. Maybe I'll get better by next year.

September 25th, 2021 Met this girl. Well, already did. Sometimes, she'd be at the pharmacy when I picked things up. There's dimples in her cheeks when she smiles at me. I mentioned I was interested in producing music and she asked me for some pointers. We're meeting next week so I can help her, I guess. Worth a shot. Come to think of it, I think we went to the same high school.

October 18th, 2021 She's cute. Fuck, I'm so screwed. I remember now. I sneezed on her in the hallway once. She said it was two times, but I don't remember the first one. We already talked a lot. It's weird. Something dangerous about her. I'll watch my step...

October 31st, 2021 I feel drunk even though I'm not. She said she liked me and I wanted to run. I think I already like her, too. I just can't be what she needs right now. I shouldn't be writing this stuff down. I'll save it for songs. My own head. See you.

December 5th, 2021 She said there's a beauty in being impulsive. She is coy and bold. She wants to kiss my cheek because something compels her to. She yearns to see me. I can't forget anything she says. She speaks in poetry and laughs in music. I don't flinch when she reaches out to touch me. So.. What now...? I kissed her on the shores of some snowy Sokcho beach. When she says now that there's nothing innocent about the way I kiss her with that smirk of hers. When she said she's looking for someone to break her heart because she's just being realistic. Not to feel burdened because I make her happy. She'll be patient for me. I think I might be going a little crazy. Emotionally, spiritually. She makes me want to sing again.

December 1st, 2022 Aside from one good thing, this year was kind of a bust. Hoping for a better one next year. Fuck, I'm getting old. Did they forget about me?

March 20th, 2023 Finally got a project! With actual songs. Not sure what it's gonna entail but ... here goes nothing, as usual. :)

March 30th, 2023 And when it comes to spring, I learned that it's made of heartbreak and not love.

August 12th, 2023 Fuck, what am I doing with my life? It's so close I can taste it but I can't help but feel like there's so much missing.

October 30th, 2023 What am I doing? Part two. Everything is all jumbled up. There's nowhere to put that anger brewing in my head. I almost messed up my hand because of it and ruined everything for myself. Might start writing some songs again...

December 1st, 2023 The first birthday I really felt like I deserved. I guess I made it this far, huh? And there are people who care about me, love me. It's still really overwhelming to think about, but looking back, this is what I always needed. And I should have been more grateful for what I have around me in the form of other people.

January 1st, 2024 I think it's gonna be a great year. Love is real.

January 14th, 2024 Oh. Fuck.

#✱ ㅡ alone with my thoughts. ( solo )

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ilaw-at-panitik · 9 months

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Kahit pa alam na nilang parehong rice cooker ang laman ng kahon ng rice cooker, kakikitaan pa rin sila ng pananabik. Walang inalis noong nagbubukas sila ng ilang regalo pagkatapos ng kasal. Hindi na nila pinagtiyagaang tanggalin ang buhol sa pagkakatali. Gamit ang talim ng nadampot na itak, nakalagan nila ng tali ang kahon. Agad na niyang nilabas ang rice cooker. Iniangat na animo’y nagkakarga ng bagong silang na bata. Hawak-hawak naman ni Mildred ang kurdon na parang umbilical cord. Agad niyang pinatong sa gilid ng lababo, sa may tabi ng lalagyan ng mga pinggan, ang rice cooker. Binuksan ang lata ng biskwit na siyang lalagyan ng bigas. Subalit kakarampot na bigas lang ang naroroon. Masasaid na at hindi na huhusto kahit sa kalahating takal. Kahit pa nakasara ang gasul ay mabilis silang nakapagpaliyab ng kani-kanilang mga ulo. Bakit walang bigas? Tinalunton nila kung sino ang huling nagsaing. Nagkaungkatan sa kung kaninong sahod ang ginamit sa pagbili ng bigas. Mauungkat pa ang dati pang away. Sumubo ito, umapaw. Nagpatuloy ang pagtatalo hanggang magsara na ang karinderya sa kanto, ang tindahang pinangakuan ng pagsasauli ng bote. Magtatapos ang away sa kalam ng sikmura. Pagtatawanan na lang nila ang isa’t isa noong wala na silang maungkat. Inihanay na lang nila sa plato ang mga helmet, adidas, at barbeque sa pinggan. Tatlong mangkok para sa tatlong sawsawan. Binuksan ang RC Colang pinanawan na ng lamig. Hindi na sila nag-abalang kumuha pa ng baso, nagsalitan na lang sila ng tungga sa boteng walang deposito. Iyon ang unang gabi ng rice cooker sa kanilang kusina. Walang kanin. Subalit may iniinin na pag-ibig.

Emmanuel T. Barrameda, mula sa "Sinaing" (Inilathala sa Tomás: The Journal of the UST Center for Creative Writing and Literary Studies, Volume 3, Issue 4, 2021-2022)

#philippine literature #maikling kuwento #emmanuel barrameda

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wysteir · 2 months

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Wisteria's FG Journal

April (Season 2 - 1/3)

I participated in two little tournaments! Played at almost the top of my game in both of them and had a fun time.

Also tried the tower in Guilty Gear, and while I didn't have as much fun there, it was still a good experience. Some notes and comments from friends got me thinking, and I figured it would be good to post abt it!

A certain kind of comment that stood out to me was how I tended to do "more advanced things" like teching throws or using funny roman cancels, considering that these were just things I ended up deciding to work on early!

I asked for a lot of advice around Guilty Gear's systems and took note of how I saw people using their resources and especially things that people lauded as good decisions and expert use of tools.

It did help, again, that I started with Granblue and the game was significantly more simple so I had a great environment to practice using system mechanics and resources in.

Throwing, especially at lower levels in that game, was basically free if your opponent didn't know how to tech or didn't have a reversal, and the window was so big that it was honestly hard NOT to learn.

Using Bravery Points was also easy and a good way to supplement offense and defense, so those came down the pipe as I fought more opponents who used them.

So when it all came down the pipe, it was just a matter of starting with basic, easy, common uses of tools. Burst could just be used for the regular ol' blue burst, and tension would be for Yellow Roman Cancel- importantly while keeping other use cases in mind. Eventually I started using RCs more for Red and Purple, and on occasion I'd throw out a Blue one. Not on purpose mind, but the instinct is there after building on the basics for a month. Same deal with Gold Burst, Wild Assault, and Deflect Shield - if anything I probably overuse Deflect Shield nowadays and under use Wild Assault.

Already had throw teching under my belt from Granblue so that was an instinct I had that was at least partially honed - Guilty Gear has SO many more opportunities to throw that I've actually developed a bad habit of trying to throw my opponent during inappropriate moments!

After all of this, what actually ended up not being under my belt were various B&B combos, and general execution.

Hilarious honestly

I just don't find em as cool so I didn't do em much!

Definitely one thing I want to look out for now is curbing any bad habits I've picked up. Out of all the things that seems to be the hardest most players have to deal with, so that's going on the list immediately, yet again shunting B&Bs and execution lower on the priority list.

But seriously! Habits are hard to kick, and execution is comparatively easier to train!

So! List!

Unsafe blockstrings

Panic Deflect Shield

Throw as abare

None of these are too bad!

I can keep honing safe options, and go for more unsafe things after I feel like I've gotten a good read on my opponent.

I can Deflect Shield with more purpose- this one's quite punishable if misused, and often trying to Deflect Shield on wakeup gets me killed as there seems to be an issue with the buffer for it. It's simple enough to figure out if I'm getting up if I'm anticipating a throw or if I can block the first hit - if I can block then I'll have an opportunity to DF later. If I feel like they'll throw me it was an inappropriate option!

Finally, I can just jab! And kick! Those are also skills i need to build, and eventually opportunities where it's generally safe to throw as abare will reveal themselves to me, and I can do it then!

That's it for this season folks, thanks for readin!

#organic wysteir original #on learning #on fighting games #Wisteria's FG Journal

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ashtrayfloors · 10 months

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a journal entry comprised entirely of excerpts from letters & postcards written to friends

(@belialjones and @endreal - don't peek if you don't want spoilers!)

I remember in one of the letters you sent me, you asked what my current inspirations are, and even though they've changed since then, I thought I'd reply. What's inspiring me right now is: the photography of Nan Goldin, the art of Tracey Emin, the novels of William T. Vollmann, John Waters and David Lynch films, and the poetry of Cynthia Cruz, Forough Farrokhzad, and Alexis Rhone Fancher.

I'm currently on a little vacation with my family, up on the peninsula of Wisco. I've been reading a lot and hiking in the woods and going to the beach.

...

My vacation has been great. I've been reading poetry & eating pizza & watching the Perseids meteor showers.

...

I accidentally broke my own heart the other day. I had my 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle and what songs played back to back? Paul Westerberg's "Got You Down," followed by R.E.M.'s "Nightswimming." Fucking oof.

In general, I've been going thru a bout of nostalgic melancholy. What else is new? Haha, but really though. You know, I'm writing about all this stuff for RC #27, and reminiscing about one era of my life inevitably turns into reminiscing about others. And then I was up in Door County, driving down old familiar roads, listening to old familiar tunes, and remembering driving those same roads, listening to those same tunes, getting stoned with my friends circa 1997-2003, and I don't even miss getting stoned but I do miss those friends. I try to have a positive attitude about things changing, but I still get sad driving past places and thinking about what's gone—and more than that, who's gone. And I was thinking about the summer of 2013. And then I was thinking about the summer of 2012 and how that summer I was all nostalgic for the summer of 2006 and how it seemed impossibly far in the past, and then timeghost showed up and was like: "Oooo...2012 was closer to 2006 than it is to nowww, ooo..."

I realized that my whole life, I've been trying to get back to this mythic Perfect Summer that didn't really exist. Right now, I'm missing 2013 & 2012. In 2012, I wished it was '06. In '06, I wanted '03. In '03, I wanted '00; in '00, I wished it was '97, and on and on.

Other than that, I've been having feelings about small towns and Americana. It's kinda weird. On the one hand, I'm a deviant radical queer artist. On the other hand, I love so much Americana. But I think you get it.

...

I've been having hella zine/zinester nostalgia. Next year marks 30 years that I've been making zines. I'm thinking about putting a book together of the best stuff from my first 30 years of zines, and then having a release party w/ local bands n' stuff.

I've been particularly nostalgic for the early '00s Chicago zine scene. I'll never forget that time you and I went to Kinko's late at night to make Xerox art. 22 years ago, what the fuck? I also recently found my Loop Distro/Al Burian Totally Wants My Ass shirt. Oh man.

Recently I was having a bit of an identity crisis. See, I've always thought of myself as someone who gets crushes easily, and as a slut (in spirit, if not always in practice—meaning, even in a monogamous relationship I still have the desire to fuck lotsa people even if I don't act on it). But for a while I hadn't gotten a proper crush on anyone, and didn't really even think about hooking up w/ anyone but my partner. And it was weird! I was like, who am I, if I'm no longer the totally crushed out slut? But then after that, I had a couple sexy online convos w/ queer cuties, and got my flirt on IRL w/ a punk rock fella who lives in my neighborhood, a Scottish fiddle player, and a gorgeous redhead girl w/ a tattoo of a fox, and I was like: Oh. Guess I'm still slutty and crushed out, after all.

#ashtrayfloors #dear livejournal #letters #inspiration #vacation #door county #music #nostalgia #melancholy #we get one real summer #only one in our time #zines #zine life #chicago #identity #crushes #sluttiness

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apenitentialprayer · 2 years

Photo

Edward Caswall, circa 1860.

For Edward Caswall, a Church of England vicar who went over to Rome in the mid-19th century, and subsequently achieved minor fame as a hymn-writer, the fateful moment of his life came on 14 September 1849. He was holidaying at Torquay with his 28-year-old wife Louisa, England being then in the grip of a severe cholera epidemic. In the morning Edward went out to Mass, leaving Louisa seemingly in good health. On his return, he found her critically ill with cholera. By 11 o’clock that night she was dead, leaving Edward a widower at the age of 35. He was devastated, but the blow transformed his life. It was three-and-a-half years earlier that, beset with doubts whether the Church of England was the true Catholic Church in the land, and, if not, whether his ministry to the souls in his care might therefore be worthless, he had resigned his living of Stratford-sub-Castle, Wiltshire, and, in January 1847, been received (with Louisa) into the Church of Rome. As a married man, he would, of course, have been ineligible for the Roman Catholic priesthood; as a widower, he was no longer affected by this veto. Like the future Cardinal Manning in similar circumstance, he could and did become an RC priest. But he may well have suffered guilt at the thought that, had he remained in his Stratford cure, Louisa might still have been alive. In this, the first full-length biography of Caswall, an American academic, Nancy Marie de Flon, tells his story with a wealth of fascinating period detail. Caswall was to achieve distinction in the second half of his life in two entirely different ways. As a friend and admirer of J. H. Newman, he was the financial and administrative mainstay of Newman’s Birmingham Oratory and its acting Superior during Newman’s frequent absences elsewhere. As a minor poet, he developed into an accomplished writer and translator of hymns, some of which can still be found in hymnals today. Dr de Flon bases her scholarly but readable study on Caswall’s unpublished journal. She paints a picture of a man of exemplary piety who was content to stay out of the theological limelight and instead to apply his energies to developing both the work of the Oratory and his talents as a writer of devotional poetry and prose. Caswall, in Newman’s words, became “half a saint, or almost a saint” by his extraordinary attention to going “through the ordinary day’s work well.”

Bernard Palmer, on Nancy Marie de Flon’s Edward Caswell: Newman’s Brother and Friend

#Catholicism #Christianity #Edward Caswell #figures of note

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rescuefield-a · 1 year

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𝗱𝗮𝘀𝗵 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲, character information.

legal name: clarissa jean redfield.

nickname(s): claire, cj, claire-bear ( by chris ), red ( by @deadaim ), miss americana ( by the press when they feel funny )

date of birth: 1979.

sex: cis female.

currently living: brooklyn, NY in her main verse; washington dc in her alt.

spoken languages: english ( fluent ), danish ( fluent ), hebrew ( fluent ), italian ( conversational ), spanish ( conversational ), ASL ( fluent ), french ( conversational ), russian ( conversational )

education: dropped out from mechanical engineering in 1998, graduated in investigative journalism with a minor in political science in 2004. in her no outbreak au she switches to psychology.

hair colour: auburn.

eye colour: blue.

height: 170cm.

weight: 50kg.

sibling(s): chris redfield ( older brother )

parents(s): caleb redfield and claudia romano, with chris becoming her legal guardian at their death.

children: sherry, rani and maleek in her main verse, either by consideration, adoption or temporary custody. in her alt verse with @deadaim she also adopts juniper sometime in late 2015 and has a baby girl named micah in mid 2014.

pet(s): none in her main verse, two cats and a rescue puppy in her verse with @deadaim and a beauceron puppy in the one with @reveira

sexual orientation: bisexual / demiromantic.

relationship status: single in her main verse though she has THE mandatory terribile relationship with neil fisher sometime from 2010 to 2011. regardless of that in her alt verse she has an on and off situationship with @deadaim; is dating @reveira in another verse and has been seeing @croftborn for a while in another.

since when: spanning from post RC and still going in the current timeline with leon; from early 2011 and still going in the current timeline both with carlos and lara.

tagged by : @croftborn

tagging : you !!

#ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟ study.#don't ever ask me to explain anything I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT 😂

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philhoffman · 2 years

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On the front porch I see Philip wearing his blue Love Liza knit cap. I walk up to him and ask if I can take his picture. “Sure!” he says and stands for me. Just as I snap the picture with my disposable camera I thought I saw his eyes close. No! Not now! Damn! But... I thank him. He laughs. “Just kidding!” he says, “I always do this to people! Take it again.” I do and this time I get a smiling Philip. I thank him again.

Phil on the set of Love Liza on the last day of filming, February 2001. Photos and story from Frits Jetten, who was one of the RC plane specialists and kept a great online journal about his time on set as an extra/props assistant.

#he's such a menace kdlsjfkdlsjfks #love liza #philip seymour hoffman #psh #*#best part of frits' journal are his comments abt how much phil eats during takes #he's like 'we had a spit bucket but he just kept eating those eclairs. and crab legs. and pints of ice cream'#KING!

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blazichu · 2 years

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Apparently I missed one of the journal entries in Area Zero-- one of the important ones.

Specifically, this one:

We've determined that this energy crystallization is linked to the being we call _ _ _ _ _ _. The interlocking hexagonal plates that comprise _ _ _ _ _ _'s shell must somehow cause this phenomenon-- which I've dubbed "Terastallizing.”

And, because I’m going to be referring to it, here’s a late entry from the Scarlet Book:

While sep(ar)ated from the resea(rc)h team in the crater's dep(th)s, I found a s(tr)ange... en(ti)ty. Whether it was a (Po)kemo(n), or even (a)liv(e) at all, I kn(o)w no(t). It bore a s(he)ll with layers of o(ve)rlapping he(xa)gons, and glea(me)d brig(ht)er still than (ge)mstone. Vei(we)d as a whole, it res(emb)led a mys(ter)ious, (br)illiant d(i)sk.

Without context, I’d actually assumed the Disc “Pokemon” was the time machine-- though, after revisiting it, its panels are triangular and not hexagons like both sources cite.

While I’ve seen a number of people hazard that this is a fifth member of the Relics, I... actually see a lot of parallel to a Pokemon we’re already very familiar with: Arceus. It’s entire gimmick is that, using the corresponding plate, it can be any type, which is a lot like what’s going on with Terastallization. Tera types can even be changed, if you have the right items.

(This is neither here nor there, but Silvally’s RKS System-- which is meant to emulate Arceus’s Multitype ability, and owes its title to Arceus’s name-- explicitly uses discs to change type.)

There’s a lot that doesn’t fit-- we run into the hexagon issue again, mention of a shell, and description of the entire thing looking like a disc-- but the functionality and primeval nature are enough to make me wonder.

#pokemon fugue tag #and i mean #the number of letters also fits #but that doesn't mean much #s/v spoilers

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lonewolf23k · 1 year

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Dream Journal:

-yesterday: dreamt about a group of mice/smurf-like creatures wanting to kill a dragon-like creature with an RC Car modded with a crossbow like a siege engine.

-last night: two dreams. One where I was fighting giant spiders my way around some ruined buildings representing old car companies. The other, I was a dog furry in street clothes going from his apartment to go buy electronics.

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usafphantom2 · 2 years

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Surveillance missions triple in England

Diego Alves By Diego Alves 07/26/2022 - 4:00 PM in Military

The figures obtained through a request for Freedom of Information show that the number of missions of the British surveillance aircraft RC-135 Rivet Joint went from 6 per month in December (2021) to a peak of 18 per month when Russia invaded Ukraine.

The numbers are not surprising, given the huge ongoing effort by NATO and partner nations to collect information about the invasion.

The English Ministry of Defense reported on the total number of missions between November last year and June this year:

Asked about the cost to the United Kingdom of using American aircraft to refuel these aircraft, as Britain does not operate an aircraft with the correct refueling system capable of refueling the RC-135s, the British MoD reported:

“As close allies, various types of aircraft from the UK and the US routinely refuel tankers from other nations, but the charges raised are not calculated by specific aircraft fleets. Aircraft from both nations are refueled by reciprocal agreements under a memorandum of understanding, which precedes the introduction of the Rivet Joint RC-135 in the RAF service and covers a variety of aircraft types.

For example, RAF Voyagers regularly refuel U.S. Navy fighters and RAF Typhoons are regularly replenished by USAF KC-10 drigue pods in a similar way in combined operations. To facilitate administration, the general "balance" of total fuel costs between the two nations and in all fleets is reconciled and billed several times a year, which reduces the number of individual transactions required. Therefore, we do not have specific total reimbursement amounts for the RC-135 rivet joint."

British RC-135 electronic surveillance aircraft continue to operate over the Black Sea, near Ukraine, observing Russian forces.

As shown by the figures above, the UK has been increasing the frequency of these flights to collect information with U.S. aircraft also present.

These missions are not new occurrences, in fact, they are quite routine. The United Kingdom has been collecting information about Russian forces since long before the invasion of Ukraine and it should be noted that these flights are designed to be visible so that the public and Russia know what they are happening. If it were a secret, I wouldn't know. In addition, for those who comment 'this is not new', this is true, but people only know that this happens many times because it is reported frequently.

British surveillance planes over the area are not uncommon, but we are seeing a significant increase in the frequency of flights in recent months for obvious reasons.

Missions of the British surveillance aircraft RC-135 Rivet Joint tripled after the invasion of Ukraine.

According to the Royal Air Force website, the RC-135W Rivet Joint is a dedicated electronic surveillance aircraft that can be employed in all theaters of operations in strategic and tactical missions. Its sensors 'absorb' the electronic emissions of communications, radars and other systems.

“RC-135W Rivet Joint employs multidisciplinary experts from Weapons System Officer (WSO) and Weapons System Operator (WSOp) whose mission is to research elements of the electromagnetic spectrum to obtain intelligence for commanders.”

The Royal Air Force says that the Rivet Joint has been deployed extensively for Operation Shader and other operational tasks. It was formally called Airseeker, but is almost universally known in service as RC-135W Rivet Joint.

The United Kingdom currently operates three of these aircraft.

Source: UK Defense Journal, by George Allison

Editor's Note: And they still insist on comparing the freedom to question "Western" governments and get answers (even if generic) with governments that are part of the BRICS...

Tags: Military AviationRAF - Royal Air Force/Royal Air ForceRC-135 Rivet JointWar Zones - Russia/Ukraine

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