#raymond de mervile scenario

[fizzyxcustard]

Jealousy.

Masterlist of this series

Comments/Notes/Housekeeping: Thank you to everyone who reblogged and commented on my last of the RA Character Headcanon Series. I appreciate it very much. I know I sound like a broken record, but please do consider a reblog if you like a post, and if you wish to be added on to my tag lists, please let me know. You are also very welcome to request head canons as well, so I can continue on with this series and open it up to a lot more scenarios.

This head canon post was requested by @sunflwrnsunnieshine Thank you very much, hun. You're very welcome to request head canons with these 9 characters. Just send the request via my ask box, please. This instalment will focus on how all the characters handle jealousy, more precisely, jealousy which involves you, the reader. Enjoy!

GUY OF GISBORNE: Guy does not handle jealousy at all well when it comes to other men flirting with you. He makes his complete and utter distain known to the other man, and even becomes threatening. Most people are scared of Guy, so the men back off as soon as they see his icy glare from across a room. You know that Guy's jealousy comes from a place of insecurity, so you need to remind him regularly that you only have eyes for him.

RAY LEVINE: Ray Levine holds a lot of his emotions inward and will become distant with you if he feels there may be any kind of hint of another man sniffing around you. His answers become clipped and short, and it's up to you to question him thoroughly to see exactly why his mood has changed. However, when you reassure him that you're his, he apologises profusely.

FATHER LORENZO QUART: Father Quart is not a jealous man, but when it comes to you, jealousy is not something he is immune to. He holds it inward and tries his best to push the thoughts away as to not fall into bitterness. You notice his behaviour (of extra glances and sighs when the other man is in the room) and bring it up with him, and he admits that he did feel jealous and apologises, knowing he trusts you implicitly.

THORIN OAKENSHIELD: If Thorin sees another man making advances towards you, you immediately see a change in the Dwarf's demeanour. He becomes quite passive aggressive, giving short answers and appearing a little hostile. But when you get to the bottom of his negative feelings and reassure him with plenty of touch and love-filled words, he apologises to you. He is scared to lose you.

FRANCIS DOLARHYDE: Francis will watch you and the other man, not acting physically on his jealousy. However, he begins mentally plotting ways to harm the man, enjoying the thought of causing pain to him. Francis even admits to you that he had bad thoughts and considered violence, but then begs you to forgive him.

JOHN THORNTON: John Thornton becomes quiet and distant, backing off as soon as he feels in any way threatened by another man sniffing around you. The normally brooding man becomes even more cold toward you, hinting at his jealousy through hints in his words, mentioning the man in conversation. Eventually you sit him down and talk it through with him that nothing will ever happen between you and the other man.

RAYMOND DE MERVILLE: Raymond will not entertain the idea of another man serenading you. In fact, he is quite happy to threaten men and even become violent. Any man who only looks at you for a few seconds too long and they're immediately found on the sharp end of Raymond's sword.

JOHN PORTER: John tries to down play his jealousy and won't talk about it, until you bring it up to him. If he notices you interacting with another man, he will distance himself a little, but you notice him still sneaking glances to see what's going on. Eventually you have to confront John and tell him that he's stupid to think you'd even consider any other man but him as you've fancied him for as long as you've known him.

LUCAS NORTH: Lucas doesn't like to show vulnerability at first, so his jealous behaviour will depend on how long you've been with him and the stage you're at in your relationship. Any initial stage, weeks to a couple of months, and Lucas will try his hardest to not think too much about it. However, the longer you are with him, then the more his jealousy will show. It becomes clipped words, the cold shoulder and icy stares at you and the other man from across a busy room.

***

Follow Forever tag list: @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @xxbyimm @middleearthpixie @knittastically @guardianofrivendell @luna-xial @rachel1959 @msjava1972 @asgardianhobbit98 @meganlpie @eunoiaastralwings @sunflwrnsunnieshine @tschrist1 @quiall321 @lemond57 @missihart23 @evenstaredits

Guy of Gisborne tag list: @puggledy-huggledy-is-not-a-pig @whoooooisthis

Thorin Oakenshield tag list: @braidedheart

[dashesofink]

Of Flowers and Pain

Drabble: “One last request for Raymond and I’ll leave you alone for a bit! Can you do a fic and incorporate the Hanahaki disease? Kinda like an !au or smth like that. Your choice to make it happy or sad. Thanks on advance!”

Pairings: Raymond de Merville x Reader

Word Count: 2259

Warnings: mentions of blood

Main Taglist: @legolaslovely @c4ts4ndstuff @t00-many-th0ughts @fizzyxcustard

A/N: I think I might turn this into a two-parter request!! What do y’all think?? 

The pain that constantly bubbled in your throat and stomach was bad enough, but seeing the cause of your pain was almost too much to bare. People knew of the disease you had, as almost everyone in your village had experienced the damned thing by now. If not, they were destined to succumb to it eventually. It was difficult, coming up with ways to excuse yourself when he was constantly in your pub, hoping that you would make it out in time to vomit out the earthy build in your throat without him knowing. Each day the petals were a new color. Each day the thorns from their stems ravaged your throat. Each day the blood came out thicker. You knew if you didn’t tell him of your feelings you wouldn’t survive much longer. But the thought of him not loving you back was almost as painful as your disease, if not more. If he rejected you, rejected your feelings, surely you would die a slow and painful death. That was how the disease worked.

“You must tell him, y/n.” A gentle hand smoothed circles into your back. A hot, stabbing pain lining the muscles of your throat, tears trailing heavily down your cheeks as you watched the blood soaked flowers landed on the muddy ground with a splash. “My darling, please!” The hydrous blood splashed against your old boots when the last flower fell past your lips, your now red lips forming into a deep grimace.

“I cannot.” Your voice was hoarse, a loud cough bubbling in your throat and tearing at the fresh wounds as you doubled over again. No flowers came this time. “I fear he does not feel the same.” Your friend understood the dread that lingered in the pit of your stomach. You had expressed your fears of rejection to her many times, yet she still believed that there was a chance of the soldier returning your feelings for him. “I would rather continue with this pain then to die such as I migh.” She flinched when you shot her a stern glare, your hair falling into your face as you wiped the blood away from your lips. The red stained the sleeve of your tunic, yet you didn’t seem to care anymore.

“Y/n, please you must—“

“I don’t need to do anything like that.” You were stern in your ways. Death wasn’t something you feared. It was inevitable. But the choice you had to make was either death by flowers or death by rejection and then flowers. Neither sounded appealing, but you felt he wouldn’t feel the same. After all, you were just a lowly barmaid. Why would he love you? “What I need to do is get back to work.”

With one last pointed look you spun on your heel, the mud under your feet kicking up into the hem of your skirts before you stomped back to work. The air was thick and humid, and the mud under your feet continued to slosh and stick to your clothing as you hurried through the village and back to the pub. The closer you got the louder the pub grew, it’s current customers either already drunk or well on their way to being drunk. You hated working in the pub. But you didn’t have a choice. You weren’t born into royalty, nor did you family possess any large sums of money. It was either work as a barmaid or not work at all and not support your family. The later was something you tried to avoid at all costs.

“Aye, back from your little stroll, y/n?” The owner of the pub, Mathis, gave you a grim smile. He knew how the disease was affecting you, and he was gracious enough to let you leave whenever you felt the flowers burn your throat. You gave a small nod before snatching the old rag from his hands, and before you pushed your way behind the wooden counter he gave your shoulder a heavy pat. “He’s still here; back corner, to the left.” He warned low and close to your ear, his dark eyes trailing to said corner before he scurried off to deal with some rowdy customers.

Of course he’s still here. Luck would have it that the cause of your pain was still in the pub, a large tankard of ale in his strong hands as the men around him chattered about. You knew better than to look over to him. You already had to leave once today, who knew if you would have to leave twice in an hour to relieve your gut and throat of the burning flowers and blood. But you did. You kept your hands occupied by cleaning a few empty tankards as your eyes drifted to the corner in the left. Dark hair sat messy atop his head and fell against his forehead, his azure eyes scanning the crowd in the pub. Dirt was dusted across his skin, making the lines and scars that littered his hands and face seem darker than they should’ve been. Even tired and covered in dirt and grime he was handsome.

You watched as his fingers twitch and tighten around the wooden tankard. His thin lips were turned into a small scowl when one of his men bumped his shoulder, the ale in his cup sloshing around and over the rim of the cup. While usually he would’ve gotten up to punish the man who disturbed him, he remained seated, only bringing the now half-empty tankard to his lips to guzzle his beverage. He set the tankard on to the table with a slam, swiping his hand over his lips before he turned to the man next to him. It was then that you tore your gaze from him. You couldn’t bare to watch him any longer.

“Still pining after Raymond, I see!” Your blood turned to ice when a shrill voice suddenly sounded throughout the pub. The chatter amongst the drunkards and other customers dwindled and eyes turned when a familiar face sauntered into view. “I’m surprised, y/n,” Thick curls bounced around her round cheeks, her bright red lips turned into an evil smirk while she swayed her hips. Your eyes blew wide the closer she got to the bar, and if it wasn’t for the counter in front of you the tankard in your fingers would’ve fallen smack into the floor. The sound of your name seemed to echoed off of the wooden walls in the pub, and suddenly dozens of eyes were looking to you, watching as your face grew pale. “Thought you would’ve made it known by now.”

“Esmée, please.” Your lips began to tremble when she came to a stop in front of you, only the wooden counter separating you from her. She leaned in close, smacking her lips after chuckling at the terrified look in your eyes. She no longer had the disease. A painful surgery was the only thing— aside from your love admitting to loving you back— that could remove it, but that surgery was costly, and only her family seemed to have the money for it. You hated the way she flaunted it, showed off that she no longer had to suffer through flowers and blood. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Oh I know, sweetheart.” Esmée’s manicured fingers reaches forward to brush some hair behind your ear. She pulled away almost immediately after dragging her nails across your skin in a taunting manner. Your heart was racing when she turned away from you, your hands trembling with horror when you saw where she had locked her gaze; Raymond. Her hips swayed tauntingly as she neared him, pushing past the drunks the crowded the pub. Your eyes blew wide and suddenly you were moving forward, hands desperately reaching to grab her. However you suddenly found yourself being held back, the strong grip of a soldier holding you in place.

“No, let me go!” Your terror filled eyes locked with the battle-worn soldiers. He kept his grip firm. You continued to struggle even when you turned away from him, your eyes suddenly meeting a pair of piercing blue ones. You froze again. Raymond had been watching the entire scene, eyes filled with curiosity as he kept a tight grip on his tankard. You paled again, keeping your eyes locked with his for a moment longer before he looked to Esmée. You felt your knees knock together when she sat upon his lap, her arm thrown over his neck as she traced circles on to his chest. You suddenly felt sick. A familiar liquid bubbled in your gut, your eyes blowing wide again when a burning sensation grew in your throat. No. Not again!

Your not sure what came over you, but your foot slammed down on to the soldiers foot hard and fast. A single yell of pain echoed throughout the watching pub, eyes turning to you once again to see you drive your elbow into the nose of the soldier. The pain in your throat was growing. You snapped your lips shut to try and hold off the vomit for as long as possible, your hand slapping over your mouth like a barricade. Tears filled your eyes when you looked back to Raymond and Esmée, her lips just brushing over his ear as she paused to watch you. His eyes flashed with something unrecognizable for a moment, his lips pursed together as he watched you struggle. It wasn’t until your locked eyes with Esmée did you turn, seeing the horrid look of evil in her brown eyes.

Your footsteps reverberated through the pub as you slammed the door open, blood beginning to spill past your pale lips and coating your fingers and palm as you gagged. You ignored the calls for you. The biting pain in your throat was almost too much, the hand over your mouth just barely holding back the flowers as you rushed away from the pub and through the village. Another gag fell past your lips and tears flowed down your cheeks due to the pain that coursed through your throat and gut, your body jolting forward before your feet slipped on the slick mud. Ugly, red-stained flowers spilled out of your mouth. Your body was covered in mud the minute you fell to the ground, your hands clenching into fists as your worst nightmare came true. The village people watched as your succumbed to the disease. Your throat burned as the flowers continued to blossom in your body, coating themselves with sharp thorns and your blood before mixing with the mud on the ground.

It felt like an eternity before your throat was empty again. A large pile of flowers and vicious blood was in front of you, your eyes wide with fear and agony. It was getting worse. Laughter soon pushed through the buzzing in your ears. You recognized the laugh. Your hands shook as you tried to push yourself up, your legs shaking as your body tried to heal itself from the pain and the newer wounds in your throat. You kept your eyes low as you stood to your full height, looking at the disgusting brown and red stains that soaked through your tunic and skirts. The mud that coated your face, arms and hands made you feel even more gross now that blood was added into the mixture. The bloodied flowers were ugly and gross, melting into the mud. Must I always live like this?

“Aw, poor thing.” Esmée’s voice made you snap your bloodshot eyes in her direction. Her whole body was shaking with laughter, and the pain in your body only grew when you saw that most of the people from the pub were as well. “It was only a matter of time before you made a fool of yourself.” You looked down again. Your body ached all over. From the pain in your throat to the throbbing of your head, even down to the fear and pain that clenched your heart in its tight fists. You tried to tune out the laughter, you tried to ignore the staring eyes as you stood in public, skirts covered in blood and mud and your emotions piled on to the floor. But you could still hear her taunts. “... isn’t that right Raymond?”

You couldn’t bear it anymore. Sobs racked your already trembling figure. With what little strength you had left in you you spun on your heels, kicking up the ugly reminder of flowers and blood that he would never be his. A cry of agony bubbled in your torn up throat. Your eyes were blurry as you cast one last glance in Esmée’s direction, but to your surprise you met blue eyes instead brown. Though his face was stoic and unwavering, Raymond’s wide eyes swam with emotion, his lips parted in disbelief. You almost paused when he went to say something, hoping to hear what he had to say, but he snapped his mouth shut.

You blamed it on the sharp pain in your body and your blurry eyes, but even as you turned away you thought you saw him move to you, but surely it was only your imagination. He didn’t love you like you did him. You two weren’t meant to be together, you knew that. But still, even as you ran away from the crowd, away from him, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there was a chance of you finally having a cure from your disease.

[fizzyxcustard]

New Year's Kiss.

Masterlist of this series

Comments/Notes/Housekeeping: Thank you to everyone who reblogged and commented on my last of the RA Character Headcanon Series. I appreciate it very much. I know I sound like a broken record, but please do consider a reblog if you like a post, and if you wish to be added on to my tag lists, please let me know. You are also very welcome to request head canons as well, so I can continue on with this series and open it up to a lot more scenarios.

This head canon post was requested by @sweetestgbye Thank you very much, hun. You're very welcome to request head canons with these 9 characters. Just send the request via my ask box, please. This instalment will focus on how all the characters handle a New Year kiss more precisely, a kiss which involves you, the reader. Enjoy!

GUY OF GISBORNE: Guy takes you to a secluded area, wanting to get you out of the way of everyone. He takes your hand and begins talking about new beginnings and asks if you'll begin a new adventure with him. Then the two of you kiss beneath the stars.

RAY LEVINE: Ray is nervous as hell around you. He's liked you for as long as he's known you. The two of you are at his flat, watching the countdown on TV, and as it happens and the party-goers on the screen start screaming "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" you think to yourself, "Fuck it" and pull Ray in for a kiss.

FATHER LORENZO QUART: New Year means very little to Father Quart. It's just another day of the week for him, but he knows you love celebrating the change of the year. He breaks open a bottle of champagne and just as the clock strikes midnight, you clink your glasses together and lean in for a kiss.

THORIN OAKENSHIELD: The Dwarves know how to party and as midnight begins to roll around quickly, you and Thorin notice that there are fewer Dwarves still standing, and even less sober. But when the moment arrives, you realise how Dis and Dwalin have purposefully moved you both closer together, manoeuvring you across the hall, until you cannot escape that New Year kiss. Thorin knows the tradition and with flushed cheeks, he offers you a sign of his intention to court you.

FRANCIS DOLARHYDE: Francis spends the evening with you as he lives alone. You've invited him to your apartment to see in the New Year and, as you stand in your garden and the fireworks begin to soar into the sky and burst open in an array of colours, you place a gentle kiss on Francis' lips.

JOHN THORNTON: The two of you are at a large gathering of people whom your families know, as friends and business partners. It's getting closer to midnight and John knows he wishes to kiss you, just not in front of all these people. At a minute before midnight, he checks his pocket watch and asks you to accompany him to his balcony, and there as the local clock strikes midnight, he offers you a kiss.

RAYMOND DE MERVILLE: Raymond has no interest in the changing of the years and seasons. But when the two of you are at his father's annual feast, which welcomes in the change of the year, you go to him and kiss him with no warning. He scowls at you at first, wanting to know what the kiss was for. But as you smile at him, he can't help but reciprocate that smile.

JOHN PORTER: John has had enough of partying in his younger years and wants to spend a quiet night in front of the TV. So he invites you over, his colleague. You're excited for the night ahead; the two of you have fancied each other for months. And as Big Ben chimes 12 on the TV, John sees his chance and sweeps you into a kiss.

LUCAS NORTH: The two of you go for a drink after work together. Lucas has been invited to a work party with some of his colleagues who aren't on call, but he's made an excuse, just so he can be with you instead. The two of you are close friends, and after your drink, the two of you walk together, not realising the time. Fireworks begin to bang in the distance. Lucas stops. You stop. He smiles, and then cups your cheek, drawing you into a kiss.

***

Follow Forever tag list: @lathalea @i-did-not-mean-to @xxbyimm @middleearthpixie @meganlpie @linasofia @knittastically @luna-xial @asgardianhobbit98 @guardianofrivendell @sunflwrnsunnieshine @msjava1972 @rachel1959 @eunoiaastralwings @lemond57 @tschrist1 @quiall321 @evenstaredits @missihart23

Guy of Gisborne tag list: @puggledy-huggledy-is-not-a-pig @whoooooisthis

Thorin Oakenshield tag list: @braidedheart

[fizzyxcustard]

Pregnancy. 

Masterlist of this series

Comments/Notes/Housekeeping: Thank you to everyone who reblogged and commented on my last of the RA Character Headcanon Series. I appreciate it very much. I know I sound like a broken record, but please do consider a reblog if you like a post, and if you wish to be added on to my tag lists, please let me know. You are also very welcome to request head canons as well, so I can continue on with this series and open it up to a lot more scenarios.

This head canon post is how the characters would react to you announcing pregnancy and then how they would treat you through that pregnancy. Enjoy!

GUY OF GISBORNE: Guy is beside himself when you announce you are pregnant. He can't stop grinning. All through the pregnancy he is attentive to you, worrying when you are ill. He makes sure that when the baby comes, he is beside you every moment. His dream of having his own family, with the woman he truly loves, has finally come to life.

RAY LEVINE: Ray is shocked, but so happy. Secretly he's always wanted children, but never had the opportunity to have any. He's always buying you gifts and making sure you have your weird cravings on hand. He's at the birth, holding your hand every second.

FATHER LORENZO QUART: Father Quart feels contentment wash over him as you announce the news. Being with you and breaking the vow of celibacy has been the right action for him. Having a child feels so right, and he waits patiently for the day he can be a true father. Thought your pregnancy he keeps brushing your belly and sings to the unborn baby. He remains at your side as you give birth, although feels like a spare part through most of it.

THORIN OAKENSHIELD: Thorin cannot contain how happy he is. Being a father and having a family is what he has always wanted, but put it aside in order to be a king. Now he finally has something for himself. He pampers you throughout the pregnancy, making sure that you are never stressed. At the birth, he makes sure that only the best midwives are on hand, and he remains with you; for now, his family is more important than running a kingdom - that can wait.

FRANCIS DOLARHYDE: Francis is happy but also terrified. His first thought is about the child being like him, disfigured. You notice his sadness and ask him about it, reassuring him that the child will be loved. It takes him a while to come to terms with the news, but he is always supportive of you. At the the birth, he remains in the corner, still terrified of what is going on.

JOHN THORNTON: John Thornton could not be happier. He is a man of tradition, and family has always been the most important thing to him. He makes sure that you have everything you need for a relatively comfortable pregnancy. Immediately he begins buying gifts and furniture for the baby. At the delivery, he waits outside, letting the midwives do their work.

RAYMOND DE MERVILLE: Raymond seems cold at first, but deep down he is happy and proud. His lineage will endure through the woman he loves. Through your pregnancy, he becomes quite obsessed with watching your bump move. He tries to trace the movement of the baby. At the birth, he stays outside your chamber while the midwives and healer assist you.

JOHN PORTER: John is excited to be a father again, having never thought it would happen. Through your pregnancy, he makes sure you have everything you need, re-calling how it all was when Alex was due. At the birth, he stays beside you, holding your hand and trying his best to reassure you.

LUCAS NORTH: Lucas is a little worried at first; he appears happy, but hides his worry. He worries for your safety, and for the child. Being a spy means he can be compromised at any point, and this could impact you and the baby. He's attentive to you through the pregnancy, helping you get whatever you need. When you go into labour, he makes sure he is there. Work can wait.

***

Follow Forever tag list: @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @xxbyimm @linasofia @middleearthpixie @knittastically @luna-xial @meganlpie @asgardianhobbit98 @guardianofrivendell @rachel1959 @msjava1972 @sunflwrnsunnieshine @tschrist1 @quiall321 @enchantzz @missihart23 @lemond57

[fizzyxcustard]

Etiquette

Fandom: Pilgrimage (2017)

Summary: Raymond has found himself in 2019, somehow time travelling 800 years into the future. You have taken him in, but you must teach him modern etiquette to keep him safe.

Pairings: Raymond de Merville x fem!Reader (I say this now as I may just write more to this if it proves interesting)

Warnings: Language, modern day setting, comedy, banter, slight flirting

Word count: 1254

Comments/Notes: Requested from the imagine ‘Raymond has time travelled to 2018 and you must teach him modern etiquette and manners’ by @meganlpie and @lokilove3112. If you wish to be added to my tag lists for a particular fandom, character, or even everything, please send me an ask or a private message and I will add you.  

Raymond woke with a start, jumping up from the warmth of the sheets which were suspending him on the bed. He cursed in French, forgetting for a moment where he was. Then his eyes focused on the vase of flowers on the chest of drawers directly opposite.

“Pfft, still in this godforsaken pit of a place,” he growled.

You were in your kitchen, cooking breakfast and dancing to your music which played through the Alexa system. “Alexa! Play songs by Bon Jovi,” you called.

A blue light lit up on the edge of the black sound system. “Playing songs by Bon Jovi,” replied a robotic female voice.

You went back to preparing the food, not noticing Raymond as he came wandering into the kitchen. A shape caught your vision in the corner of your eye and you jumped, soon after realising who it was. “Morning Ray--,” but you stopped dead in your tracks, holding a pan with sizzling bacon. There, directly in front of you, Raymond stood completely naked. “Um,” you coughed.

Raymond smirked at you, noticing your eyes travel south down his body.

“Please, put some clothes on!” you snapped, breaking from the embarrassment. “Whatever you want to do in the privacy of your own space is up to you, but when you’re staying with someone else, for fuck sake, cover up!”

You turned away, a blush vivid red across your cheeks. The pan in your hand was moving, shaking with your nervousness, which you desperately tried to hide. Men knew how to use that against you, you thought.

After a few seconds you could still sense Raymond behind you. “Have I got to come and dress you again?” you barked.

“Now that is a proposal I would not turn my nose up at,” Raymond chuckled.

“Just get back in your room and get dressed. You’re a grown man, not a child!”

It was still a mystery how this man had suddenly appeared in your garden one night. There had been a flash of blinding light as you stood in your kitchen, washing dishes and then a raving lunatic of a man was stood at your window, banging on it. He was wearing old style knight clothing, looking like something from a medieval reenactment.

What was the light? That was the one aspect of this whole insane scenario that made you cling to a shred of belief in that Raymond really was from the year 1209.

Raymond appeared back in the kitchen a few minutes later, wearing the clothing you had brought for him the day previously. And again, the zip on his jeans was down. You sighed and stomped over to him. “You’re going to have to master this, Raymond,” you hissed. “You can’t walk around with your zip down.” As you reached out to attack the zip, you noticed that he was not wearing underwear. “Uhh, oh God,” you grimaced. “I brought you underpants!”

“Why should I wear an extra layer when they are not needed?” Raymond replied, narrowing his eyes and standing to his full height. He was considerably taller than you, standing a foot taller.

“Look, I’m not going to keep explaining everything to you,” you replied sternly, crossing your arms. “It’s for cleanliness. Our time is a lot different to yours. We’ve come along in terms of hygiene. Going commando isn’t exactly practical and especially with jeans. That’s going to rub something awful.”

“You’ve overcomplicated things,” Raymond said.

“Oh, like with toilet paper? You’re telling me that it would have been better if that hadn’t of been invented? What are you going to do, go back to wiping your arse on your hands and having skid marks in your trousers?”

Raymond smirked at you again. He did that a lot.

Finally, Raymond began to eat his breakfast, enjoying the bacon and eggs you had fried for him. He seemed happy to be eating something that reminded him of his own time period. You decided on a bowl of cereal.

“What is that?” Raymond asked as you poured granola into a bowl and poured on milk. “It looks like the food we use to feed horses.”

Irritated, you dropped your spoon into the bowl with a loud clank and stared at Raymond. “Have you finished? You eat your food and I’ll eat mine. Now, shut up!”

After breakfast you tidied the crockery away. Raymond, as usual, was asking what everything was and raided your pantry, holding up cans of macaroni cheese and spaghetti hoops. Then he looked down at an ugly looking contraption with a metal pole on the end. He kicked it, almost certain that it would rise up and begin attacking him.

“Would you mind not breaking my vacuum, please? It was my mum’s and is already about fifteen years old. And before you ask what it does,” you began sarcastically, still drying plates and utensils, “it sucks up bits out of the carpet.”

“Sucks?” Raymond asked, pulling a puzzled face. Then he nudged it again with his foot.

“Yes, it has air which pulls all the dirt out of the carpet,” you explained.

There came a knock at your door so you quickly dried off your hands and dashed to your front door. It was the postman, holding a parcel for you. The smiley man who was easily ten years older than you offered the parcel to you, his eyes not leaving you. You knew full well that he liked you.

“Thank you, Martin,” you said, giving him a smile.

He stood for a few extra seconds, waiting for you to say something else.

“Thanks again,” you said, feeling uneasy, and began to shut your door.

“Wait,” he said, his arm stretching out to stop the door.

“Yes?”

“Would you like to maybe go out one of the nights?” Martin asked, adjusting his bag of letters on his shoulder.

Suddenly a loud voice echoed down your hallway. “I have put the underpants on as you said!”

“Oh,” Martin said softly, seeing the tall form of Raymond soon appear. “I didn’t know….”

“No, it’s not like that, Mart,” you replied. “Raymond is my roommate for a while.”

“Who is this?” Raymond asked, his voice drifting towards the open front door. “Has he brought you a gift? Does he wish to court you?”

“Raymond, shut up!” you growled. “Get back in the fucking house now!”

“Have you asked her father before you consider courtship?” Raymond asked, stepping up beside you. He looked down at the short, startled postman. “Or do I need to draw my sword?”

“Um, I’m sorry for bothering you,” Martin said sheepishly and turned away, half running down the path.

You stormed back into the house and threw your parcel down on the kitchen table. “One piece of advice, Raymond. When you see me talking to someone: shut up!”

“That man wants to court you. It was plain to see,” Raymond replied.

“I know that. But did you have to start with your courtship and drawing your swordspiel? Courting isn’t the same now, and you’ve got to understand that. And don’t you dare take your sword anywhere with you. You’ll get arrested and jailed for that. It’s illegal to carry weapons; I’ve already told you that.”

“I enjoyed watching him squirm,” Raymond said with a grin.

“You’re a cruel man,” you scoffed. “Now, get ready because we’re going to get you a haircut. You can’t walk around with your hair like that. We need to get it more up to date and styled.”

Follow Forever tag list:

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[fizzyxcustard]

MASTERLIST OF ALL FANFICTION AND MY OWN FANDOM RELATED WORKS.

**Please read when making a request**

SERIES’

A Rose at Twilight - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader - Soundtrack listing - Imagine your Thorin poster comes to life at night. 

Monster - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader - Imagine Thorin physically transforming into a monster due to his greed for gold and your love is the only thing that can break the curse. (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (The Hobbit)

Invited by Fate - blogger x fictional character inserts - Fate has called a ball and all the guests have until midnight to find their true loves. You all have a gold tattoo on your wrists, the name of your soul mate. (Part 1) (Part 2) (HUGE crossover of various fandoms)

Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Series 1) - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader - You find yourself in 1209AD after a science experiment has gone wrong, and you are now making a new life in a small village in France. However, Sir Raymond de Merville has his eye on you and will not take no for an answer. You both embark on a passionate love affair which leads to Raymond's downfall. (Pilgrimage 2017)

Wrong Place, Wrong Time (Series 2) - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader - You are now back in 2017, with Raymond dead and you heavily pregnant. You find out that Raymond’s promise to come back to you passes many centuries. (Pilgrimage 2017)

Diary (Thorin Edition) - Thorin Oakenshield x Dwarf!Reader - Imagine Thorin finding your diary and reading it. (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (The Hobbit) 

Heir - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Imagine telling Thorin, as he’s dying, that you’re pregnant with his child. (The Hobbit)

Covert Eyes -  requested by LinaSofia - Lucas North x OC - Soundtrack listing - Lucas becomes infatuated with Amy Holland, a local woman whom he begins seeing most mornings in a local coffee shop. He uses his covert surveillance knowledge to his advantage. (Spooks) 

Ultimatum - Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader - You and Guy talk about your feelings and act on them. But you know Guy can be a better man away from Nottingham and cannot watch him fall more into a pit of atrocity. Will he choose you or the Sheriff. (Robin Hood) (Chapter 1) (Chapter 2) (Chapter 3) (Chapter 4) (Chapter 5) (Chapter 6) COMPLETE

Betrayal - Lucas North x OC/Modern Raymond de Merville x OC - Lucas North is dating Amy Holland. But his cousin, Raymond de Merville, is in love with her after a one night stand only a month into her relationship with Lucas. Raymond now has leverage over Amy. (Spooks and Pilgrimage crossover)

Heaven and Hell  Part 2 - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader - from the imagine “Raymond has lost all hope of ever loving again and has shut down his heart. Until he meets you.” (Pilgrimage) 

Richard Armitage Character Headcanons Series - a selection of 9 characters and in each post, all the characters are analysed in a certain scenario. 

ONE SHOTS

Incubus (Halloween special) - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Based off thorns-maginificant-ass’ idea of ‘Imagine Thorin comes to you as an incubus. (The Hobbit)

Our Pledge - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader. Raymond is being forced to marry a wealthy nobleman’s daughter, but has already pledged himself to you. (Pilgrimage, 2017)

Dead End - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Imagine Thorin finding you and talking you out of taking your own life. (The Hobbit)

Domination - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Imagine the sex with Thorin after you admitted to him you like being dominated. (The Hobbit)

Pest - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Imagine finding a niffler raiding the gold stores of Erebor. (The Hobbit/Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)

More Than Enough - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. You have been married to Thorin for two years, and slowly you have fallen into depression, feeling unworthy of Thorin’s love and your position as Queen. But when Thorin notices how distant you are, it is apparent that you really are more than enough for him. (The Hobbit)

Caught - Thorin Oakenshield x Reader. Imagine catching Thorin masturbating and whispering your name. (The Hobbit)

Lucidity -  Thorin Oakenshield x fem!Reader. Imagine you and Thorin are married. He suffers from Dragon Sickness and imprisons you, becoming suspicious of you. After gaining lucidity, he wishes to divorce you to save you from more pain. (The Hobbit) 

Etiquette - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader. Imagine Raymond has time travelled to 2018 and you must teach him etiquette and manners. (Pilgrimage, 2017)

I Will Be Beside You -  Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader/Thorin Oakenshield x Human!Reader. Imagine you think Thorin detests you. In fact, he is madly in love with you and his own personal reasons for keeping away. (The Hobbit)

Roses and Candlelight - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Imagine you tell Thorin about Valentine’s Day and he then uses that to show you his true feelings and intentions. (The Hobbit)

Through Your Eyes - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Thorin is incredibly jealous of Bofur’s advances towards you, even if only light-hearted. He then asks you what you see when you look at him. (The Hobbit)

Misunderstanding - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Thorin notices that you have been more distant recently, spending a lot of time away from him and he notices that you shy away when in the company of a male Dwarf called Hodel. He begins to have suspicions that you are being unfaithful and confronts you. (The Hobbit)

Chickpea - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. You find an abandoned baby raven and take him in to look after. (The Hobbit)

Too Close - Getting Close (part 2) - Finally Close (part 3) - Ray Levine x Fem!Reader (friendship). You are becoming a little close to Ray and want more than what he is willing to give. (Stay Close)

So Close - Ray Levine x Fem!Reader - A follow on from the trilogy of short fics with Ray Levine and Reader. Now in a relationship with Ray, you are both so happy and content with your new life. (Stay Close)

Ask Me In The Morning - Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader - you have spent the night with Guy and your father has turned on you out of pure anger, thus revealing a secret of Guy’s past. Earlier parts can be read from my prompt list and are linked in the summary. (BBC Robin Hood)

Touch-Starved - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader - you and Thorin share a brief moment together after he tells you that has never been touched by a woman before. (The Hobbit)

A New Dawn - Francis Dolarhyde x Fem!Reader - You and Francis are on the run after he has murdered your abusive boyfriend. Is his love for you becoming requited? (Hannibal)

My Refuge - Lucas North x OC - Lucas has come home from an operation and it’s starting to overwhelm him. His dreams and the worry of coming back from an operation dead are playing on his mind. Amy comforts Lucas as best she can. (Spooks)

I’ve Loved You Forever  (Part 2) - Modern!John Thornton x Fem!Reader - It’s the Christmas party for Marlborough Mills staff. You bring your boyfriend along, and when he can’t admit that he loves you, John feels his anger come out in full swing as he’s loved you for what seems like forever. (North & South modern AU)

Under Your Spell - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader - From the imagine “You put a spell on Thorin to make him love you. As the spell wears off, you find out he always loved you.” (The Hobbit)

Invisible - Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader - From the imagine “You are in love with Guy but he still loves Marian. You can’t take the hurt anymore.” (BBC Robin Hood)

Broken - Lucas North x OC - Amy, Lucas’ colleague, finds him out in the rain, experiencing flashbacks from his time in a Russian prison. She takes him back to her flat for comfort. (Spooks) 

Knife’s Edge  - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader and Darkness x Fem!Reader - Darkness has been visiting you in your dreams, attempting to seduce you. But you are already in love with Thorin. Who will win you over? (The Hobbit and Legend [1985] crossover)

For Her Or My Country? - Lucas North x OC - Lucas has been requested to potentially sleep with a woman who is linked to a subject of investigation. Will he refuse for Amy, or serve his country and commit to the operation? (Spooks)

REQUESTS 

Hard To Please - requested by hobbitlover23 - No formal pairing; reader insert. From ‘Imagine trying to find a song Thorin likes from your iTunes library.” (The Hobbit)

What We Both Want - requested by nowiloveandwilllove - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Thorin and you are married; he wants children and you don’t. (The Hobbit)

Mahal’s Miracle - requested by jumpingmanatee - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. You have died in childbirth and Thorin holds your newborn baby in his arms. But Mahal brings you back to life. (The Hobbit) 

More Than A Whisper - requested by multiple readers - Demon!Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Acting as a sequel to a prompt request. Thorin is a demon, having damned his soul to be with you. As he gains more power, he is able to pass into the physical realm, but at what cost? (The Hobbit AU)

Something Borrowed - requested by dabisburntnut - Modern!John Thornton x Fem!Reader. It’s your eldest sister’s wedding and you’ve been invited and ask John to go as your guest. (North and South AU)

Unhappy, Unholy Matrimony - requested by multiple readers - Thorin Oakenshield x FemDwarf!Reader. Imagine you and Thorin are in love with each other but both in unhappy marriages to other people. (The Hobbit)

As You Are - requested by multiple readers - Thorin Oakenshield x PlusSize!Fem!Reader. Thorin notices you not eating as much as usual and questions you about it, only to find that you are ashamed of your weight and appearance. (The Hobbit)

Mine to Own - requested by Asgardianhobbit98 - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader - Sequel to prompt requested by Lathalea - You are to be married to Raymond (an arranged marriage), and Raymond finds you after you flee your village. Can you come to any kind of agreement with your husband-to-be and will you ever find any kind of peace about your marriage? Part 3  Part 4 Part 5 (Pilgrimage)

In the Shadows - requested by I-did-not-mean-to - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. Sequel to prompt. Thorin has attacked you during a night terror episode, and now cannot bring himself to be around you through sheer guilt. (The Hobbit)

Inadequate - requested by anon - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. You and Thorin both feel deep insecurity when around each other. Will you finally be able to tell each other how you feel? (The Hobbit)

Twilight Roses - requested by anon - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. A spin off to A Rose at Twilight. Thorin comes to you one night to find you distraught after you have been abused by your boyfriend, Ryan. Thorin takes you away from your pain, where you find peace. (The Hobbit)

Secret Photos - requested by multiple readers - Ray Levine x Fem!Reader. From  the imagine ‘Imagine you find secret photos of you on Ray’s camera’. (Stay Close)

Midnight Bathing Serenade - requested by multiple readers - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. From the imagine ‘Imagine watching Thorin bathe in a river and he catches you.” (The Hobbit)

Sleep, My Little One - requested by sweetestgbye and lemond57 - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. From the imagine, “Imagine watching Thorin as he sings and plays the harp to your baby.” (The Hobbit)

No One But You - requested by sweetestgbye and anon - Ray Levine x Fem!Reader. From the imagine “Imagine inviting Ray to spend Christmas with you as he has no one but you”. (Stay Close) 

Bringing Christmas Home - Requested by sydmarchsstuff - Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader. From the imagine, “Imagine telling Thorin about Christmas in your home world. He attempts to recreate this for you in Erebor.” (The Hobbit)

Why Now?   (Part 2) - Requested by sweetestgbye and sizzlep - Lucas North x Fem!Reader. From the imagine, “Imagine breaking up with Lucas North at Christmas.” (Spooks)

Drunken Christmas Admissions. Part 2 - requested by sweetestgbye - John Porter x Fem!Reader. From the imagine, “Imagine you are at a Christmas party with John Porter and he’s drunk.” (Strike Back)

Christmas Memories  And Part 2 - requested by whoooooisthis - Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader. From imagine, “Imagine telling Guy about your Christmas traditions from the 21st century.” (BBC Robin Hood)

Through New Eyes - requested by Middleearthpixie - Raymond de Merville x Fem!Reader. It is New Year’s Eve and you are working for the Baron as a serving girl. You kiss Raymond at the New Year celebrations and it sparks something inside him toward you. (Pilgrimage)

Anything Is Possible (Part 2)  (Part 3) (Part 4)  (Part 5) (Part 6)  (Part 7 ) COMPLETED - requested by anon and LinaSofia - Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader. From the imagine, “Imagine you and Guy are in love but you are to be married to another man and everything seems to be keeping you apart.” (BBC Robin Hood) And now the sequel “What Is Possible”

One More White Hair - requested by lemond57 and two anons - From the imagine, "Imagine that Thorin is in love with you but won't let on as he believes he's an old man and is no good for you'. (The Hobbit)

True Courage - requested by sweetestgbye - from the imagine "Thorin takes a stand for you when a lecherous man won't take no for an answer and keeps bothering you." (The Hobbit)

The Unexpected - requested by the fragile heart of a lady and a dear anon - from the imagine “Imagine Lucas North is undercover at your work, investigating your bosses, and falls in love with you.” (Spooks)

One Night - requested by lathalea and timeframe (post BOTFA) by sotwk - from the imagine ‘Imagine you spend the night with Thorin, and then out of insecurity, you leave him.” (The Hobbit)

Those Hands - requested by multiple readers - from the imagine “Imagine Thorin is in love with you and compares himself to other men, thinking he’s disgusting.” (The Hobbit)

Why Did I Trust You - requested by huggledy puggledy is not a pig - Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader - from the prompt “They told me not to trust you but I didn’t listen.” (BBC Robin Hood)

Just My Imagination - requested by anon - Lucas North x OFC (Amy Holland) “Imagine that you are undercover with Lucas and he plays the part a little too well.” (Spooks)

CHALLENGES

Fingering by Thorin - challenged by Alae-Megallen

Tattered Box with Legolas - challenged by Alae-Megallen

End of a relationship with Bilbo - challenged by Alae-Megallen

Khal Drogo and Sternum - challenged by Alae-Megallen

Lyn’s Writing Event - challenged by dabisburntnut and hosted all through May 2020

Lathalea and Fizzyxcustard’s Armitage Summer Splash challenge - hosted through June 2022. 

GOT VAMPIRE?! (Characters as vampires)

The Dream Walker - Dr. Scott White x Fem!Reader (Sleepwalker)

SEAQUEST DSV/2032 FICS: 

The Right Thing - seaQuest 2032 fandom - Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader (One shot)

Fear and Loathing - seaQuest 2032 fandom - Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader (sequel to The Right Thing. Chaptered fic) 

Not So Nice - seaQuest DSV fandom - Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader(-ish) 

Avoidance - seaQuest 2032 fandom - Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader 

Sweet Dreams - seaQuest 2032 fandom - Lucas Wolenczak x Fem!Reader

DOCTOR WHO FICS: 

Never - Eleventh Doctor x OC (part 1 of the Cup of Tea and Jammie Dodgers series)

***

REQUESTED PROMPTS  

HEADCANON REQUESTS

MOODBOARDS

IMAGINES

DRABBLES MASTERLIST 

TO-DO LIST/UPCOMING WORKS

WORKS FROM MY OLD BLOG (FIZZY-CUSTARD)